#empires incorrect quotes

[fynchfire]

Life series/empires incorrect quotes

Scott: That's it, I'm cutting off the internet!

Jimmy: No, please don't! I have a family to feed!

Scott: .....

Scott: What?

Jimmy: I need to feed my Neopets!

[ep2nd]

Incorrect quotes, Empires superhero AU edition. From @pacificwaternymph, go check it out on Ao3 too!

--

Xornoth: I have an idea

Sausage: Does it involve fire?

Xornoth: No

Joey: Does it involve burning something down?

Xornoth: No

Scott: Let's hear it

Xornoth: ARSON

Scott: NO.

--

Lizzie, who is temporarily blind: I'm not trusting my well being in the hands of Fwhip!

Katherine: It's either them or Scott

Lizzie: ...

Lizzie: So what are you doing today, Fwhip?

Scott: Hey!

--

Sausage: In my defense-

Sausage: *punches Fwhip*

Pearl: What was that for?!

Sausage: A good defense is a good offense

Gem: That's not how it works

--

Jimmy: This is a safety pin.

*cuts off end*

Joel: It is now a danger pin.

--

Shubble: Operation no more distractions is a go!

*not even 10 seconds later*

Shubble: Oh, look! A butterfly!

~

Jimmy: Ladies, gentlemen, I want to show you the greatest thing your eyes have ever beheld!

Scott: A llama?

Jimmy: No.

Scott: A baby llama?

Jimmy: No!

Scott: A baby llama with a little hat on?

Jimmy: NO!

~

Pearl: *spits mouthful of blood onto floor* You’ve become far more powerful since we last crossed paths.

Dentist: Please stop, there’s literally a sink right next to you.

~

Random Guy: *kicks Jimmy*

Jimmy: *starts crying*

Lizzy: *glares*

Random Guy: Awww what is this lil itsy baby child gonna do-

Lizzy: Your IP address is 157.134.166.42

Random Guy: Wha-

~

Sausage: Pearl, did you know you're my favorite sibling?

Pearl: *narrows eyes* Sausage what did you do no-

Gem: PEARL, SAUSAGE ATE ALL OF MY COOKIES.

~

Katherine: When Gem gets back, we're cleaning the building

The rest of the Alliance: *Looks at each other*

*5 hours later*

Katherine: Where's Gem?

Jimmy: Not back that's for sure

--

Jimmy: Two wrongs don’t make a right.

Scott: *sighs* That’s true…

Scott: But two negatives make a positive!!!

--

Pix, referring to Lizzy and Jimmy: Those guys are dorks.

Katherine: Yes, but they’re my dorks.

--

Pix: You know, people treat me like a god.

Shubble: How?

Pix: They ignore my existence unless they need something.

[rodentlady]

Nature Wives is just Joey going from calling Shelby "Miss Witch" to calling her "Mrs. Witch"

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

Shelby: It's impossible to say "bubbles" in an angry voice. Jimmy: Interesting... [later] Sausage: Why has Jimmy been on the roof yelling my dog's name for two hours?

[siriannatan]

More incorrect quotes

Felt a sudden urge to generate some more funny quotes. It's mostly ScfWhip and I think it applies to any server or series :}

Scott: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back. fWhip: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

Scott: Violence isn't the answer. fWhip: You’re right. Scott: sighs in relief fWhip: Violence is the question. Scott: What? fWhip, bolting away: And the answer is yes. Scott, running after them: NO-

Scott: So what’s for dinner? fWhip, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

Scott: Welcome, fellow idiots fWhip: Hello, Scott Scott: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot fWhip: You underestimate me

Scott: I turned out perfectly fine! fWhip: Scott, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast Scott: I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!

Scott, addressing the squad: And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box. fWhip: But – that’s just a trash can. Scott: It sure is!

Scott: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died- fWhip: Twelve, actually. Scott: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that? fWhip: Yours! Scott: That's right: no one's.

[traveleroffarawayplaces]

Scott: I will fight god.

Joel: I’m sorry but no.

[galactic-empire-incorrect-quotes]

[i-only-see-daylight]

Aelin: If I died-

Rowan, sharpening his knives: Death will not get you out of this relationship.

[here-comes-the-moose]

Crosshair: Thanks, Dad.

Hunter: …

Tech: …

Wrecker: …

Echo: …

Crosshair: Why is everyone staring at me?

Hunter: You just called Echo dad; you said thanks, dad.

Crosshair: What? No, I didn't. I said thanks, man.

Echo: Do you see me as a father figure, Cross?

Crosshair: No, if anything, I see you as a bother figure, 'cause you're always bothering me.

Wrecker: Hey! You show your father some respect!

[sleepylapa]

seb, holding a giant sign that says "will you marry me?": yes or no?

jenson, leaning out of window: omg of course YES!!!

seb: no,give it to kimi!

jenson: kimi i'm marrying your boyfriend!

[incorrectstarwarslegendsquotes]

Star Wars Legends + text posts (part 4/?)

[fynchfire]

Life series/empires incorrect quotes:

Gem: So, what's it like living with Scott?

Jimmy: They once referred to sand as "heterosexual glitter."

Gem: ...

Jimmy: I love them so much

[ep2nd]

Odyssey's Sequel AU

Part 7?

Incorrect quotes edition

By the way the two fwhips is basically past fwhips ghost haunting new fhwip

Es2!Gem: What are you doing here?

Es2Fwhip: I could ask you the same question.

Gem: I live here. This is my house.

Fwhip: I should probably ask you a different question.

Es2Shubble: My aesthetic is "would be suspected of witchcraft by small town citizens."

*Es2Sausage and Es2Scott are texting*

Es2Scott: Who are you? Owen changed the names in my phone.

Es2Sausage: What did they change my name to?

Scott: Chosen One.

Sausage: Don’t change it back.

Scott: BUT WHO ARE YOU?!?!

Sausage: I’m the chosen one.

Es2Lizzie: I will send my army to attack!

Lizzie: *releases a dumpster of raccoons*

Es2Jimmy: You have the right to remain silent.

Es1 and Es2 Fwhip: I choose to waive that right!

Fwhip: *screaming*

Es2Gem: Welcome to Applebees, do you want apples or bees?

Es2False: Bees?

Gem: THEY HAVE SELECTED THE BEES!

False: Wait-

*Es2Lizzie approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly*

Es1 Fwhip: Everything’s fine, other me.

Es2 Fwhip: Voice in my head, I know your relationship with the english language is strictly casual, but you- I- *deep inhale* ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU WHAT’S NOT FINE.

Kidnapper: We have your sibling

Es1Gem: Which one?

Kidnapper: Uh… the one who said good luck killing me?

Gem: Ok…?

Gem: Which one?

[mixed-bag-of-fandoms]

Mothra: What were you doing while I was gone?!

Godzilla, sitting in a burning city: Waiting for you to come back

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

Sausage: I never get sick, I take very good care of myself. I treat my body like a temple! Joey: Open to everyone, day or night!

[realfae12]

“Azriel’s roar echoed off the rocks as the hound slammed into him, dragging those shredding talons down his spine, his wings—

The girl screamed, but Elain moved. As Azriel battled to keep them airborne, keep his grip on them, my sister sent a fierce kick into the beast’s face. Its eye. Another. Another.

It bellowed, and Elain slammed her bare, muddy foot into its face again. The blow struck home.

With a yelp of pain, it released its claws—and plunged into the ravine.”

-A Court of Wings and Ruin

I feel like we don’t talk about this scene enough—the way Elain kicked the beast’s face! Oh my god, my girl was ready to go one-on-one with the beast because, how dare it hurt Azriel? And people say she’s boring. Lol.