#emphasis on the hellsite

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 55

Malleus Maleficarum/Doomsday

“Malleus Maleficarum”

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: Oh fuck no. I’m barely surviving WATCHING.

Ew wtf…this is…one of the most stomach churning episodes I’ve ever watched. Between the lady in the opening pulling out all her teeth and bleeding out and now magic-ing maggots into this dude’s burger.

But then what killed HER? Was it the OTHER neighbor??

This is…this is a good way to get yourselves on these witches’ hit list.

People who are big shots in their neighborhoods making a big deal of their last names to complete strangers from outside their little circle baffle me

Dude…Sam. No. You don’t just…Oh. That’s that’s not an ordinary demon.

I don’t believe Ruby’s really …yeah, she wasn’t betraying the Winchesters. Because that was the most male gaze-y shit I’ve ever seen

Yo. Dean…aren’t you supposed to have a little conflict about stabbing the person the demon is possessing?? Just even a little hesitation?

I don’t remember how long we keep Ruby, but I’m gonna miss her when she goes. A demon who remembers what it’s like to be human is an interesting character

“Been On My Mind…”: Nope.

“Doomsday”

I love Mickey and the scientist pretending to know about the time war to save their lives for just a second but in the lamest way possible

You’re going to regret making that promise, Doctor.

Omg here it is. The moment I’ve been waiting for “our species are similar though your is inelegant” “daleks have no concept of elegance” “that is obvious”

“Daleks be warned, you have declared war upon the cybermen” “this is not war, this is pest control” “we have five million cybermen. How many are you?” “Four” “you would destroy the cybermen with four Daleks?” “We would destroy the cybermen with one Dalek. You are superior in only one respect” “what is that?” “You are better at dying” (someone on tiktok also used this audio clip with Shigaraki as the Dalek and the Hero Safety Commission president as the cybermen, and it was probably the most I’ve ever been into Shiggy in my life)

Note that I watched that clip like……eight times at least

Amazing. Rose sees the Doctor on screen and her heart rate rises, the Daleks point this out and Mickey’s just like “yeah, old news. Been there.”

You're not gonna catch me feeling bad or Yvonne.

Good lord there are some really good lines in this. The cybermen telling the Doctor that he’s proof emotions destroy you, and he agrees but then goes “mind you, I quite like hope. Hope’s a good emotion”

(FOURTH! FOURTH TIME'S THE CHARM, RIGHT??? ISTG I'LL END MY REWATCH TONIGHT IF I HAVE TO REDO THIS AGAIN. MY VILLAIN ORIGIN STORY WILL BEGIN BECAUSE I'LL HAVE NO MORE SUPERWHOLOCK I NEED TO WATCH. I have moved from my bed to my couch, I'm writing on my laptop IN HOPES THAT THIS TIME THE POST WILL GO THROUGH. I can't even find solace in watching my favorite scene any more.)

He really puts on those glasses every time he has void stuff to check out. You don't really pick up on it the first time, but it gets more and more obvious with every rewatch...

Where and when is Rose getting her hair cut??

The Doctor's so enigmatic in this scene where he meets Pete again. If I hadn't watched it so many times tonight, I'd be baffled by how swiftly he changes every few seconds. Now, I'm used to it.

Next time I watch the series (not any time soon because this episode is now CURSED for me), I want to watch out for THAT Note earlier in the series. It's ALL. OVER. this episode, but I wanna listen for it earlier.

The way Rose tells the Daleks what she did to their emperor. What a woman.

Poor Mickey. Like, yeah, the genesis ark had to be opened, but why did it have to be him who did it?? I still don't understand why the Doctor thinks of it as a good thing (but that's partly because he talks so fast I have a hard time understanding him occasionally).

The Jackie and Pete reunionnnnnn *sobs* and yet they still carve out time for levity "All those daft little ideas of mine. They worked. Made me rich" "I don't care about that...how rich?" "Very" "I don't care about that...how very?"

But then the desperation as they run toward each other and embrace uuugggghhhhhhhhh

Huh, the Daleks were right. The cymbermen ARE better at dying. It wasn't just an empty taunt.

I know it's supposed to be a scary prospect, but the way the genesis ark spins and spits out Daleks is just funny to me

THE MORE I WATCH THIS SCENE THE MORE I HATE IT. AT FIRST I HATED IT BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T KNOW THE HEARTACHE THEY WERE GONNA GO THROUGH AND TO SEE THEM SO GIDDY HURT ME. BUT HE KNOWS. HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S GONNA DO. AND HE LET'S HER PLAY ALONG AND HAVE HER FUN. HE GIVES HER A CUE TO ASK ABOUT THE GLASSES AND THEN PUTS THEM ON HER. AND THEY'RE LAUGHING THE WHOLE TIME BECAUSE SHE THINKS SHE'S GONNA GET TO STAY WITH HIM FOREVER. I HATE IT.

The argument over who's staying and who's going to the other universe is heart wrenching. I do have my criticisms of it, but that's entirely a personal thing.

Roses really love jumping BACK INTO dangerous situations for their boyfriends, don't they? Tyler...Dewitt-Bucater (I'll look up the spelling for that if I think of it in the morning, if tumblr doesn't eat this too)

Did they have to give the Yvonne cyberman a different voice than literally every other cyberman? Was it not enough to make her say her last words again? The ones she repeated over and over before she was turned?

It must be absolutely terrifying to have to hold on long enough to allow MILLIONS of both Daleks and cybermen to go through the breach, all while it's trying to suck you in, too. And you're RIGHT THERE. And if something goes wrong (which, of course it will), you're basically powerless, and the person you're with IS powerless to help you.

NO. No...

The way they can't even comfort her. They don't know what to do. They can't go to her, though Mickey's fighting the urge to. Because what can they even say or do??

And they way they can just ALMOST feel each other's presence across universes...it's not faaaaaaaaair

Reminder to google what the difference between a sun and a normal star is. Because...if he's burning up a SUN to talk to her...there's gotta be some space laws against that. If there are planets with life revolving around that sun?? Or is that after your first genocide, they just stop checking on if you've committed more?

I dunno if I'll ever decide if it's a mercy that he never gets to say it back. Is this an Empire Strikes Back situation? It'll hurt more if he DOES get to say it? Because it's futile? They'll never be able to be together. Also will never decide if he ran out of time or purposely ran down the clock. Which isn't to say that he's not devastated to not be able to. But he's done so much to protect her and her future and her future happiness, why would he stop now?

DONNA!!!!!!!! I love the surprise of her at the end. And she really does show up when the Doctor's at his lowest: after losing Rose, after TRULY (sort of) becoming the last of the Time Lords

[eevees-hobbies]

Loving You is My Tradition - NSFW (Fem!Reader x Toji Fushiguro)

AN: A Christmas-Themed Fic for @benkeibear as part of @pixelcafe-network's Secret Santa event! Merry Christmas, Luma! Surprise! I’m your annoying Secret Santa. Thanks for playing along with me while I kept slinking into your ask box. Also, fun fact: this is the longest thing I’ve ever posted on this hellsite. Growth.

Synopsis: In which your boyfriend, Toji, shows you that he can get into the holiday spirit, too!

CW: Fem!Reader x Toji Fushiguro. Established relationship. Christmas-centered. Soft/Introspective Toji. Brief mention of fucking him with a strap, Ass smacking, dirty talk, kissing, thigh riding, cunnilingus, dominant Toji, sub/dom reader, a lil biting, hair pulling, a handjob, use of the word whore but lovingly, reader is called baby girl, baby, pretty girl, and good girl. Minors Do Not Interact. || Word Count: 3.9K

Banner by me. Divider by @saradika-graphics

“You’re stressin’ me out, babe,” Toji calls out as his thumb flicks mindlessly across his phone's glossy–but still cracked–screen. 

Your eyes flick over to him, observing that he looks anything but stressed—loose grey sweatpants hugging his narrow waist, black muscle tee clinging to the swell of his pecs, and legs kicked up on your table as though that’s where all civilized people park their feet. 

“The only thing “stressful” about the holidays, Toji, is your lack of Christmas cheer,” you announce as you move a side table out of the way, making room for the 8-foot Christmas tree you plan on purchasing. 

Toji’s eyes narrow as you call him out for being a stereotypical Grinch. But you’re not wrong, he actually hates Christmas: the roads are too crowded, lines are too long at his favorite stores and restaurants, and he hates how consumeristic the holiday is. And quite frankly, the holiday was a reminder of all the things he didn’t have. 

Well, actually, he hated Christmas. Emphasis on the use of past tense here because he’s had a recent change of heart regarding the holiday. The catalyst to his shift in world-view? You, of course. 

Sure, Christmas still sucks, but he’s found that over the years, it sucks even less because he has someone to come home to after a long job, someone who gifts him thoughtful shit without expecting anything in return, and someone who looks at him as if his hands aren't stained with blood, and as if the specters of past deeds and lives don't linger behind his eyes.

But most of all, watching you get hyped up about activities like decorating the Christmas tree or trying out a new cookie recipe makes him feel things he’s afraid to put a name to verbally. 

He’s afraid to put a name to the fact that you’re the first person in a long while that has him looking forward to calling this place you share with him, home. 

You make him yearn and ache, and he wants to be the strongest person in the world for you while simultaneously seeking the comfort that only you can provide. You are a contradiction that he gladly welcomes into his life. 

But he’s always known—always felt this—ever since he first laid eyes on you and felt practically delirious at how fast and hard he fell for you. 

It was the heart quickening, palm sweating, wondering what you’re doing and why you’re not texting him kind of delirium that had him questioning absolutely everything. 

At the sound of your voice, Toji is brought out of his thoughts. “Are you going to help me?”

“Naw, my ass is a bit sore after last night, so I can’t do any heavy lifting.” He crosses his legs over one another as if to drive home the point further that his glutes will be permanently glued to the cushion of your couch for the remainder of the night.

The corner of your lip twitches at his reference to your extracurricular activities that led to him being reduced to a whining, whimpering mess on your strap the night before. “Funny that you can dish it out but can’t take it, pillow princess.”

“What the fuck did you just call me?” He barks out, but it’s too late. You’re already heading into a different room, probably to throw up obnoxious Christmas decorations in the bathroom or some other less-than-ideal place. 

He just hopes it isn’t the Santa-themed shower curtains. Who the fuck needs Santa Claus staring at their junk when they’re trying to take a piss?

Truth be told, Toji was trying to conserve his energy. He had a long night ahead of him—a long night for which he needed you fast asleep. 

He didn’t need you to know about his plans to do something special for you, and he certainly didn’t need your input every ten seconds about how Dancer and Prancer should be next to each other, and Dasher should be near Cupid…

Who. Gives. A. Fuck? Not Toji!

But she gives a fuck, so that means he has to give a fuck, he thinks, dragging a palm down across his face in exasperation. And so he looks up the lyrics to “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” and commits the names of the silly cartoon animals to memory. 

“You seriously don’t have a tradition, Toji?” He looks up from his phone to see you carrying a giant reef to hang on the door outside. “You don’t have a single Christmas tradition that puts a smile on that mean mug of yours?”

“Just one,” he murmurs, knowing you can’t hear him through the thick wood of the door. 

Wall-shaking thumps and the sound of something heavy being dragged rouse you from your sleep that same night. 

You think it has been going on for a few hours now, but being between sleep and reality has made you less inclined to check out the noise. Besides, if Toji—your shoot-first, ask-questions-never boyfriend—isn’t worried about it, neither are you.

As you turn to your side–a feeble attempt to lull yourself back to sleep–you notice that Toji is missing from his usual bedside. It isn’t unusual–sometimes he has trouble sleeping at night, and you find him sitting by himself in the living room, lost in the recesses of his brain, which he chooses not to burden you with.

Your eyes shoot upward at the ceiling as you continue to hear something knocking rather aggressively against the roof. Against your better judgment, you decide to investigate. You begrudgingly tear yourself away from the comfort of your warm bed and grab the robe you usually wear for lazy days around the house.

“I swear, if I see a man in a big red suit, I’m going to ask Toji to hide the body,” you grumble as you open your front door, your boots sinking into fresh snow as you tilt your head and look above.

Toji hears the sound of the door creaking open. Knowing it isn’t anyone but you, he peers over the side of the rain gutters, only to shoot you a glare at your lack of appropriate clothing for the weather.

God, you frustrating, annoying, beautiful, perfect woman. What the hell are you wearing? He thinks as he anchors the last reindeer into position. 

And with perfect precision, Toji jumps off the roof, rising from crouching to standing before you can fully turn your attention to him. “What the fuck are you doing out here in nothing but a robe?” He growls, pulling you closer to him.

And he’s right. It’s incredibly cold outside, but you can’t pull your eyes away from the roof. All the Christmas decorations that had previously been in storage and that you had planned to put up yourself were already up and shining vibrantly. 

Bulbed lights of reds, greens, and yellows adorn the rim of your roof, and a red sleigh pulled by nine reindeer—all in their proper positions—stands placed in a way that makes it look like they’re ready for take-off.

“Say something,” he grumbles, kicking some of the snow at his feet mindlessly and looking everywhere but at you at that moment. 

Your heart clenches because even though it’s discrete, you can hear a hint of vulnerability in his gruff voice.

“You did all this for me? I…this is so sweet, Toji.”

The wonder shining behind your eyes and ringing in your voice has Toji looking up at you from where his bangs had fallen into his face. The lights he strung up pale in comparison to the radiance you emit. You’re a picture of everything that’s right in his world.

No, a picture would and could never do you justice. 

Fresh snow is still falling from the sky, dusting your hair in white crystalline shapes that make Toji’s eyes soften. His gloved hand reaches instinctively to clear the fallen snow from your tresses, but he stops, wanting nothing more than to keep you memorialized like this.

He has so much bad shit burned into his mind that when he can commit something pure and beautiful like this moment, like you, in his mind, he does.

And who is he to diminish the light of an angel's halo?

“Of course, I did this for you, dummy. You get so wrapped up in the Christmas bullshit. If you were anyone else, anyone who wasn’t you, I’d probably make fun of you for it.”

You nod silently as you allow him the space to express himself, especially knowing how tough this time of year is for him. Toji rants and raves about the expensive nature of the holiday, but you know his foul mood stems from something deeper.

After a beat, he continues despite the strain you hear in his voice. “But I like seeing you happy. And I know sometimes I’m not always the source of your happiness, fuck, I’m probably the source of your irritation sometimes, too,” He trails off, both of you chuckling at his joke as you lean further into his warmth.

His face quickly sobers, “A couple of hours ago you asked me if I had a tradition and I think my answer is a little untraditional, but my tradition is you. All I want is to make you happy, smile, and be someone you can depend on, always, but especially now.”

You blink rapidly, willing the fast-forming moisture to stay at bay while you swallow thickly and continue to listen in silence. 

“Sometimes, you give so much of yourself to others, always making sure that everyone else is ok before you even think about yourself, and I wanted to do something, anything, to show you that you’re at the top of someone’s mind.”

For a moment, you don’t know what to say because this is so uncharacteristically sweet of him. Toji has his sweet moments, but those are more subtle. But here Toji is not only performing a grand gesture, but it’s also accompanied by a speech that is clearly from the depths of his heart. 

And when you tear your eyes away from the blinking lights to look at him, your heart can only ache. Because he looks like he’s holding his breath to hear what you have to say–his cheeks are flushed a light pink, misty air is jutting out in plumes from his lips, and his eyes are vulnerable and wanting even as he tries his best to hide it.

“This means so much to me, Toji.”

He nods, his lips curling into a small smirk. It’s as if your validation pumps air into his chest.

“Good, because gift option #2 was my dick in a box. Now, let's get inside–I’m freezing my balls off out here.”

He delivers a playful slap to your ass–palm meeting clothed flesh in a loud smack that echoes through the empty street.

You didn’t realize how cold you were until you stepped back inside your home. Your body began to tremble, and the robe did little to retain your heat. 

Toji notices, too, and he frowns, grunting his displeasure and helping you strip out of your quickly dampening robe. A low, satisfied grumble reverberates through his chest as he watches your flesh reveal, inch-by-tantalizing inch.

“Idiot, you came outside in a robe and your underclothes?” His tone is half incredulous and half in awe, eyes raking over your curves and swells with rapt—and perverted—attention.

“I thought it was an emergency! Who has time for jeans when there’s a man on a roof?” 

He can’t help but roll his eyes, but the corner of his lip twitches, the scar on his lip looking more prominent with the movement. 

Toji leans in, his tongue darting out to lick the shell of your ear. “You know, skin-to-skin contact is the fastest way to warm someone up. Let me put some color back into those cheeks, baby.”

He backs you up against the wall while shedding his winter coat and gloves. “I think I deserve a reward for my efforts, don’t you?”

“Is that why you did it?” you chide back softly with a shaky breath as he dips his head low and licks a long stripe along your neck. His tongue is warm and yet you still can’t help the goosebumps that appear on your arm or the way your nipples harden as if a cool draft just blew past.

“Naw, but it don’t hurt.”

And with a chuckle, Toji is lifting you up effortlessly, tossing you over his shoulder, and carrying you into your shared bedroom. If there was any confusion about his intentions, his firm grip on your ass with the occasional, hearty smack and squeeze to your malleable flesh allows you to speculate. 

The vulnerable Toji you caught a glimpse of outside is nowhere to be found as he tosses you onto the mattress. “Fuck, I love the way you bounce,” he purrs as he slots himself between your thighs.

His mouth is on yours��hot, all-consuming, and demanding. Toji always kisses you as though tonight could be your final kiss, and you kiss him as though you’re trying to convince him that that simply isn’t the case. 

His hands waste no time pushing apart your legs, exposing your panty-clad core to his heated gaze. You, desiring his attention, spread yourself willingly to him. 

But instead of touching you where you need him most, his thumbs settles between the smooth flesh of your inner thighs, rubbing small tight circles against your skin as he coaxes your tongue out of your mouth to dance with his.

You buck your hips in an attempt to get him to move his fingers higher but he clicks his tongue in disapproval, gripping your hip and keeping you in place. 

“How about,” he muses softly as he trails open-mouthed kisses along your jaw and neck. “You ride my thigh like a good girl first, yeah? Show me how a good girl behaves, and I’ll give you exactly what you’re soaking the bed sheets for.”

And just how he slotted his waist against your sex, he’s now replacing his torso with his thigh which is firm but does little to quell the heat between your legs. 

But you’re no stranger to this sort of request from him. The open-mouthed kisses against your pulse point pause as if he’s daring–waiting–for you to disobey.

“Yes, Toji.” You grip his shoulders and start to grind yourself against his thigh, and he lets out a low approving groan. 

“Thaaaaat’s a good girl,” he drawls out as the hand on your hip gives a supportive squeeze and guides your movements.

Seeing you so submissive and so agreeable makes an undeniable fire burn within his abdomen and makes his cock drool precum in the confines of his boxers. 

“H-how long?” you pant, your hungry eyes meeting his. He reaches down, cupping your chin between his thumb and pointer finger, dark eyes boring into yours as he spreads your legs further apart with his thigh. 

“Until I say otherwise.”

You let out a soft groan, as he shifts his thigh, pressing it harder into your slick, throbbing sex. Even through the barrier of your underwear, the friction is delicious. 

Toji smirks as he watches you, your hips undulating side-to-side, up-and-down, hitching when you hit the occasional spot that makes your eyes almost roll into the back of your head. He licks his lips as he watches a small wet spot form into the denim of his jeans where your cunt is rubbing against. 

“Look at you. You’re always so messy” he coos condescendingly, but not without warmth. “Here, let me take care of you like I promised.”

And take care of you he does. He hooks his thumbs through the waistband of your underwear and slowly pulls the garment down, his smirk growing wider as you lift your hips to speed up the process.

 “My helpful, needy girl,” he murmurs. Toji lowers himself down between your thighs, broad shoulders acting as a natural thigh separator and leg rest for you.

Not once does he take his eyes off of you as he descends.

Not when his warm breath ghosts across your labia, making your clit twitch between your folds and descend further from the protection of its hood.

Not when his thick tongue darts out, licking a long slow stripe up your slit and separating you down the middle with a muffled groan. 

And certainly not when he puckers his lips, creating a gentle suction around your clit with his mouth, alternating between slowly making out with your sensitive bud and firm suckles. 

“Come on, pretty girl. Ride my face like how you were riding my thigh,” he purrs as he briefly presses a love bite against your inner thigh, soothing it with his tongue and then returning to lavishing your cunt with his tongue. 

“You’re going to have to work for it, Toji Bear” you muster through a shaky moan, still finding the oxygen to tease him with one of your favorite nicknames. Your fingers thread through his hair, gently tugging at the dark tresses as you grind your cunt against his mouth.

And Toji? Toji volunteers up his tongue like an offering to your churning hips, moaning as you sink yourself deeper and deeper onto him, reveling in the squeeze of your slick, gummy walls against his tongue. 

“Fuck, yeah, love. Use me, baby. Fuck my face.” he encourages through barely restrained grunts which quickly divulge in gargles as he swallows every single drop you give. 

“Damn,” he finally says, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. His body moves up yours—predatory and practiced, like he owns the space between your thighs. 

Dark eyes bore into yours as one hand moves down to expertly unbutton his pants. His other tangles through your hair to angle your face for better access as he pushes his tongue into your mouth, allowing you to taste yourself. “Could drink you down for fucking days. Would you let me?”

Through heated, messy kisses, you nod even though he needn’t have to ask. You’d give him the world if he asked. 

A low hiss of approval slides past his lips as he feels the heat from your core. “I wanna take my time, but when you’re looking at me like this—like you’re asking to be split you open on my fat cock, and you’ll fucking die if I don’t give it to you, fuck, it makes me—“ 

And before he can finish, he’s spearing himself inside of you, fat cockhead kissing your womb in a way that makes you want to cry, beg, pray for more. 

Your nails find purchase against his shoulder blades enjoying the flex as he grips your thighs and folds you within yourself to get himself impossibly deeper. 

He pulls your hair, forcing you to look at the way his thick cock pulls out—glistening with your arousal, the white ring of your lust lathering his veined shaft—and pushes back in with a filthy squelch. 

“See? Isn’t this nice?” He pants, voice tilting upward in obvious mockery. “Getting all emotional and soft with you while still fucking you like a whore. Merry Christmas, right baby?”

All you can muster out is a soft whimper, his cock stealing your breath away with every willful stretch of your cunt. 

Toji, noticing your inability to speak, chuckles heartily. “Yeah, that’s what I figured.” His eyes roam over the entirety of you in this state—face contorted in pleasure, breasts bouncing, body folded in half yet still open for him like you were meant for this. 

For you, the fucking is good, really good, but there’s also something about everything that Toji previously shared with you that makes this feel deeper—as if a new avenue of connection was forged between you both.

Who knew that vulnerability could strengthen a relationship and act as foreplay? 

“Perfect,” he mutters as he feels his balls tightening, especially as they snap forcefully against your ass. “You want a real present, baby?”

You cry out something between a gargled “yes” and a strangled whimper. 

“Gonna give you one of your gifts early, baby girl. Ya ready for me? Ready to take my special gift to you?” he grunts, cock giving a valiant final twitch as the feeling of your walls squeezing him. 

Toji allows your body to unfold, going limp and sated as he collapses next to you. He pulls you into his arms, warm breath ghosting over the hair that curls around your ear. 

“Meant what I said,” he whispers after a beat. His fingers briefly dig into your arms as if out of fear that you’ll disappear. 

“I…don’t always express myself well, and you deserve more than I know how to give, but I’m glad I can give parts of myself to you, among other things.” He grabs your hand, bringing it to his arousal-slick length as he nuzzles into your neck.

You shake your head in disbelief at his virility, but you still stroke his quickly hardening member. “You express yourself just fine, Toji,”

His hand finds purchase on your ass as he brings you closer to his side, a satisfied sigh escaping his kiss-swollen lips. “Naw, I think you’ve always just been able to read me really well.”

“Yeah?” A harsh squeeze from your hand causes him to buck his hips, a vocal groan ripping from his throat. 

“Yeah. Fuck, do that again.”

You offer another grip of your hand, this time slowing your strokes deliberately as you watch his head fall back. “Like this?” You whisper sweetly into his ear.

“Y-yeah,” he stutters, his hips bucking upward. You can’t help the smile that forms on your face at the sight of Toji Fushiguro trying to fuck your fist into another orgasm. 

“Maybe I’m not the only needy one,” you tease. Toji tilts his head towards yours, eyes half-lidded, “Shut up. We still have a few more days until Christmas, and I expect you to be on your best behavior.”

You let out a small giggle as you continue to stroke him, watching the way his breath hitches more often, indicating how worked up you’re getting him.

He puts one arm behind his head, reclining back, his other fist still kneading your ass as his eyes begin to close.

 “Keep your eyes on the way I stroke your cock, Toji Bear. Or else I’ll stop.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” his large hand envelopes yours to keep it in place, but even with that effort, you stop pumping. He lets out a frustrated growl, sitting himself up on his elbows as he watches your strokes continue up and down his cock. 

As he watches you work him over, you can’t help but notice the way his eyelids flutter and his breathing grows more labored. “See? Doesn’t it make more sense for you to watch, pervert?” 

You rub your thumb across the underside of his cock, knowing how sensitive that particular spot is as you stroke him faster. Precum beads at the tip and bubbles down his shaft in droves. 

“G-gonna get you for calling me that.” Toji lets out a guttural moan as white, hot cum leaks from his cock in a stream that is far less copious, but still impressive, due to his previous orgasm. You watch as it coats your hand, marveling as it cools against your heated skin.

Despite his early warning—which lacks any real consequence, he moves his face to yours and kisses you, deep, slow, and not like this might be your final kiss. And you kiss him as if with reassurance that he’s right—because he is—there will be far more kisses to come from now, until the end of the year and certainly beyond. 

[monscrow]

intro post, i guess!!!

askbox open only on weekends; got too overwhelmed by spam, my apologies.

last updated 07/jan/2025

⚠️flash warning for blinkies at the bottom⚠️

free gaza, free palestine, stop genocide. you don't agree? block me.

i go by both mons and crow.

my pronouns are they/them, he/him and any neos/xenos that you think would fit either comedically or off of vibes.

lvl 16, so, a minor !! beware

aromantic, acespec, something like that; qprs are sick asf and all hail relationship anarchy.

art sideblog is @monscrowarts

super amazing pretty boyfriend !!!<3 🍎

audhdcd (asd + adhd + ocd 😻😋) and hEDS. i use tonetags, feel free to ask for clarification!!!

bday is oct 7. 🎉🎉🎉

i'm mexican 🇲🇽!! i speak both spanish and english.

timezone is cst/utc-6.

i say slurs i can reclaim (mainly the f and t queer ones) and swear a lot, though if that makes you uncomfortable please either block me or lmk so i can try to tone it down when around you.

i love interacting!! feel free to tag me in stuff, send some asks (be it on anon or not), or message me! moots can ask for my discord even if we've never actually talked before. though i suck at keeping consistent, nothing personal i promise</3 /gen

i tend to spam-reblog so do with that information what you will.

some tags you might see me use here and there:

#mons rambles ← just my thoughts, ideas, opinions, and whatever i feel like throwing into the tumblr void.

#ask a crow / #anon asks ← askbox replies.

#save / #art save / #fav / #hellsite faves ← these are more for myself, but yeah they're pretty self-descriptive. just in case you get curious or anything.

#🍎 ← beloved.

hyperfixations/interests/things i'm passionate about !!! i guess, kinda

→ mcr (+ most of the members' solo projects)

→ killjoys (california + national anthem, but mainly calif and fanon)

→ demolition lovers lore (i have literally written like at least three different essays about it for school help me i'm so serious)

→ emo/alt/diy culture

→ will wood

→ bandom in general

→ graphic design, arts and crafts, illustration (that's right y'all graphic design IS my passion 😔)

→ fnaf

→ cosplay/costume-making

→ d&d

→ crows (no way, crow, really???)

→ australian shepherds

→ the umbrella academy (s4 isn't canon in my heart + currently reading the comics !!! )

→ gravity falls

→ neurodivergencies/psychology/disabilities (this one's pretty meta ngl)

→ lgbtqia+ identities (emphasis on the aroace-spec ones + relationship anarchy)

→ politics/activism

→ linguistics + conlangs

→ fantasy in general (high fantasy, magic, vampires, tieflings, you name it)

→ boardgames

→ the count of monte cristo (2024) (also i just bought the book so i'll be reading that too !!)

→ parkour civilization

→ WEBFISHING !!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE LET'S PLAY WEBFISHING OMG FEEL FREE TO DM ME IF U HAVE IT AND WANNA PLAY TOGETHER :333

→ uhhhh there's more but i don't remember rn, i'll keep adding as i see fit (probably... maybe..... perhaps....... quizás........ puede ser..........)

dni

trump supporters, terfs, transphobes, anti lgbtqia+/queerphobics, exclusionists, ableists, racists, prolifers/antichoicers, proshippers/anti-antis, irl gore, pro-israel/zionists, pro-ai generated "content", pro-nft, non-critical media consumers, classists, ed blogs, sh blogs.

also, i'm aware that dnis tend to not be effective and i probably will still get shitty ppl in my inbox so i can and will block. though i'm p chill as long as you're chill. this blog is run by a very neurodivergent, mentally ill, mexican, transmasc, aroace faggot, and any kind of bigoted hatred will not be tolerated.

blinkies made with blinkies cafe !!!

pssst btw, before you go, if you read my intro post i'd heavily encourage you to like it, so i can know!!! :] (/nf though!)

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for supporting a cause I don’t believe in?

I am currently playing a major role in a misguided charity organization with a goal that I (and many others) think is impossible to achieve.

Why?  Because I was bored!  I’d just returned from a seven year sabbatical and was in desperate need of something to do.  The founder of this lost cause (I’ll call her C) announced their grand opening on live television, and it was a disaster!

I decided right then and there that I was going to join C’s charity to get a front row seat to the chaos to come.  It’s like watching a trainwreck, complete with the fire, screams, and the satisfaction of watching a well-intentioned project flying off the rails.

That being said, I do take my role here very seriously, and I’ve thus far not failed to deliver on a single one of my promises to C and the charity.  (I do things on my own terms, and for my own reasons, but I always keep my word.)

I was open from the start about my views on this wacky nonsense and my reasons for getting involved, and she accepted my help in spite of that.

Delusional optimism aside, C is a charming young woman, and she does have potential.  I think she’ll do great things; not the great things she’s trying to do, but great things all the same!  And although I still don’t believe in her cause, I’ve found myself rather endeared to her.  I’ve somehow wound up becoming attached to the entire ragtag bunch of has-beens that make up the charity’s staff and clientele, as well – which does complicate things a bit.

I don’t feel any remorse for what I’m doing here, if that changes things at all.  It felt like an important detail to add, what with so much emphasis being placed on feeling remorse for one’s misdeeds and this website’s reputation for moral scrutiny and weaponizing shame.

The outcome of this poll will not change anything about how I interact with C or her charity in the future, and it won’t unlock some buried guilt or secret sense of humanity.  I’m simply curious to see what you think, and will enjoy watching whatever “terminally online discourse” may come of it.

So, hellsite, AITA?

[ohsalome]

Actually one thing I haven't seen discussed is that a lot of -> pro-Palestine <- Jews (emphasis for the tankies) have been asking to stop using "from the river to the sea" because the phrase ends with "Palestine will be arab" in Arabic and therefore is a call of genocide and had been used to harassed Jewish people but a lot of horrible people on this hellsite ignore that. Yet the same people spreaded fakes about how Stepan Bandera invented "Glory to Ukraine" (he hadn't) and therefore anyone who says that is a nazi. It's all so exhausting

Right? Right?

And the same people who decry Azov as nazis with their full evidence, beginning to the end, being "they wear patches"; but Hamas kidnapping, raping and beheading is somehow "justified" and "what else were they supposed to do???"

The double standards are infuriating.

[beansprouts]

“The act of revolt is common to the human experience.” -r/AskHistorians

r/AskHistorians has a well-earned reputation for quality: its moderators work very hard to uphold high standards for research and civil discussion, resulting in among the most beloved history-centric forums online today. Unsurprisingly, they are among the subs protesting API changes right now, and because u/spez is a bastard and not backing down, they are still protesting post-blackout: most of the sub is currently in private (read-only, effectively) mode.

r/AskHistorians moderator u/CoeurdeLionne pinned this writeup on revolts to the sub, which I quite liked and wanted to share to my primary hellsite.

Post Transcription follows (emphasis mine, links are from original):

Welcome back Historians! Like most of Reddit, we are in the midst of what many news outlets have described as a ‘revolt’ against proposed changes to Reddit’s API policies that will hurt the functionality of our platform, and hinder our ability to continue providing moderated content.

You can read our previous statements here, here, and here. And if you would like to see a sample of r/AskHistorians’s broader outreach to mainstream media, you can read our statements:

The New York Times The Washington Post CBS News SFGate Forward

The act of revolt is common to the human experience. Humans rebel for a variety of ends, often to preserve a norm or institution being threatened, or to destroy one viewed as oppressive. The very act of revolt or rebellion can take infinite forms and have equally diverse outcomes. Some end in small victories that fade into the tapestry of history, while others lead to immense social change that dramatically change the wider world. Even when revolts fail, they leave lasting consequences that cannot always be escaped or ignored.

We are inviting our contributors to write about instances of revolt, rebellion, revolution and resistance. No rebellion is too small, or too remote. From protests against poor working conditions, to the deposing of despots, tell us the stories of revolt throughout history, and the consequences left behind.

Floating Features are intended to allow users to contribute their own original work. If you are interested in reading recommendations, please consult our booklist, or else limit them to follow-up questions to posted content. Similarly, please do not post top-level questions. This is not an AMA with panelists standing by to respond. Such questions ought to be submitted as normal questions in the subreddit.

As is the case with previous Floating Features, there is relaxed moderation here to allow more scope for speculation and general chat than there would be in a usual thread! But with that in mind, we of course expect that anyone who wishes to contribute will do so politely and in good faith.

Comments on the current protest should be limited to META threads, and complaints should be directed to u/spez.

[darkstarbucks]

I’m bored and I have the sudden urge to have a mortal enemy will you be my enemy

—@yes-im-youtube-kids

(This isn’t like an I hate u btw it’s more like you’re cool and I consider you a friend and we get into passive arguments mostly over something like me spam posting a lot so would you do me the honor of being locked in combat with me. Emphasis on honor)

Well.

This hellsite just got a lot more interesting.

I accept this enemy-ship.

Our battle will be legendary, as they say.

[misscammiedawn]

I was just starting to get sucked in by the influx at Bluesky (follow us here by the way)

Then Tumblr rolls out a new search system which requires clicking the filter tab, rather than the little menu at the top of any given search.

The only major change is the "Original Posts Only" function and the new search tool (on desktop) requires a few extra clicks to filter by date which is actually bad for me and there's still no way to go to a blog and view only original posts which is a content I so desire that I use other websites to perform custom searches for that.

I love this hellsite very much and I want it to improve.

Lowkey, I don't think this is it.

[kyra45]

This is kind of sad but I think I know what's going on. You posted some harassing anons, and people blocked you maybe because they didn't want to see things like that (based on how somesone said not to post that content untagged,) then someone sent rude asks and now you're attributing it to one person who blocked you. Do you know how many other people blocked you? What evidence do you even actually have that proves they're connected to the asks? I blocked you too! You say you're trying to avoid drama or smearing other people but you're just making passive aggressive remarks trying to smear them like a concern troll, truly despicable, rethink your life.

I've been following you on another blog for a while, and it's very obvious what the url is because you've been posting their posts left and right for days. And if sending an ask telling you my thoughts is "harassment" just because it's calling you out on something you've done that isn't nice, I don't know what to say, holy crap. What.

The only reason I'm still here is because I'm scared you're going to call me out for blocking you too. And the whole "please don't harass them" after practically spelling out their name (what other blog calls themselves "scam archive" that has interacted with you?) is like putting a pile of meat in the middle of a pack of dogs and expecting them not to lunge for it. It's fake kindness. It's like people making callouts and telling people "don't harass them", it never works lol. Now I'm really mad lol, christ. I was expecting better from this blog.

Literally know that and read it, the emphasis is on NOT REPLYING. Takes half a second to delete the messages as they come in. You're feeding and enabling them and they're getting a laugh out of it.

But sure, I’m lying about the asks I got that made me cut ties with someone. I even had the original post not rebloggble because I didn’t want it to go anywhere.

Before the last ask, I was literally told “Saying you can’t do anything is learned helplessness” when i had explained:

1. My stalker uses a VPN

2. VPN’s get around blocks

3. My stalker can/will make multiple accounts to send me asks even if I’ve continue ignoring/blocking them

I am also making this post not rebloggable but apparently I’m ‘lying’ and acting ‘suspicious’ just because the whole situation made me extremely uncomfortable and I don’t like discussing it to people using anonymous. These asks only stopped when I blocked someone and no more has been sent since. While I can’t say for sure it was who I think it was, I remain clear when I say don’t harass them. I’m still doing what I do here.

But don’t you dare come here and dismiss what I went through and accuse me of something. They talked to me and all they did was call me a child and blame me for harassment towards them when I don’t condone anyone sending it. I’m not a child. But if the harassment is that bad then I’m sorry but I’m not telling people to go harass anyone in any fashion and it’s not my fault if someone does it. If they say I sent them their lying and I make it quite clear that no one should be getting harassed just because I talk about them.

Do you think people will publicly admit to sending someone anon hate on this hellsite? No. Because we all know what would end up happening.

[batmansymbol]

I am currently open for freelance editing projects :)

Hey y’all! If anyone needs an editor, I have bandwidth right now and have opened back up for editing work. I’m down for anything, “anything” defined here as:

Developmental edits. This includes some manuscript comments, but largely focuses on a comprehensive edit letter comprising notes on plot, character, style, voice, and theme.

Line edits. Feeling good about the bones of your story, but worried that you’re bogged down by inefficient language, indistinct dialogue, or the odd wandering character arc? The line edit may be for you.

Copyedits. Grammar, usage, spelling, etc. Every nit picked. Fair warning: I don’t use a style guide, because I find that imposing e.g. the Chicago Manual of Style on fiction messes with things like “voice” and “fun.” My emphasis will fall on clarity, and on tone: does it feel right?

Query letter edits. Pitches are hell, but weirdly, I love them. Rate: $35 flat fee for a query, $50 for a synopsis. $10 for each revision pass thereafter (I will, of course, not charge you if my response to a revision is “This slaps!”).

Essay, article, or cover letter proofing. For ethical reasons I won’t review academic material, and for national security reasons I won't review classified CIA documents :( Rate: $15 flat fee, plus 2¢/word.

I don't do authenticity editing on its own, because it makes me feel weird. That said, if you happen to have a protagonist who’s bi or pan or Chinese-American or multiracial and you’re like, “Oh no, have I messed this up horribly,” feel free to request that I take a look from that angle. Same for characters with depression, anxiety, or relatively mild ADHD.

Also: I have no reading triggers or content aversions. I'm fine with any kind of material, disturbing, upsetting, or very very sexy though it may be.

My rates for fiction editing vary based on project length and status. With something under 10k words, I feel relatively comfortable ballparking around 2¢/word for developmental/line and 1.5¢/word for copyediting, but beyond that, I’d want to test-edit a sample. Occasionally I’ll swap to an hourly rate thereafter, because what if you send over the next Hunger Games, and I tear through it in three hours, but at 2¢/word it’s supposed to cost $1,600? Ridiculous. I hate editing rates.

You can message me here on tumblr or email me directly at rileyredgate@gmail.com if you’d like to hire me. If you have a question, don't be shy about reaching out to ask. I am not a salesperson and will never try to hard-sell you.

If you know anybody looking for an editor, please do pass them this post! On this hellsite I know I am just another weirdo, but in real life, I have the qualifications to provide writers with high-quality editing backed up by years of experience in the publishing industry. Per The Official Bio:

Let’s take your fiction to the next level!

I'm the author of four novels: Alone Out Here, published by Disney-Hyperion; and Seven Ways We Lie, Noteworthy, and Final Draft, published by Abrams Books. My books have been published on four continents, optioned for film and TV, given seven starred reviews from critics, and named to Best-of-the-Year lists by Kirkus Reviews, Booklist, and the New York Public Library. Besides editing my own fiction, I've also done editorial work for authors whose books are published at Scholastic, HarperCollins, Penguin Random House, and more.

As an editor, I dive in with an underlying enthusiasm for every project. I'm not interested in trying to alter others' work to my tastes, but in recognizing what story a writer wants to tell and helping them reach that destination, whether with a developmental edit or a final polish. I'm happy to edit works of any length and genre, though my specialty is in fiction, and particularly in children's and YA fiction.

Reblogs would be greatly, greatly appreciated! xo

Riley

[the-prophesied-disco-gay]

Okay so to follow up on the discovery that apparently other people are aware I am on this hellsite now, I'm tossing out a request for help. I need to know where I can go to find DID community, to discuss these things without it being visible to everyone and their demons.

I have never been open about this before, and I don't know that I am at a point where I can be yet (at least to the general public). It has been my Great Secret for most of my life. Finding terminology, other people like me, finding out I'm not alone in this has been....indescribable. I want so badly to be able to talk about it. Even if only once, to get it all out, I'd be so thrilled with that chance.

Little bit terrified though ("little bit" in this instance should be understood to mean I am so scared I can't think around the screaming in my head). I have kept this secret for so many years, because the stigma is so bad and the risks are so great. But I can't now. I can't go back, knowing there is all this community and love, I can't pretend it's not there and just continue alone. It hurts too much, it's too scary and confusing.

So! If you know of such a community, maybe a discord or something? I will be so grateful for suggestions. Should I just make another blog? Will a phone store two logins for the same site? Cause my brain will not, I gotta have that saved lol. I've been on tumblr forever, so naturally I have no idea how anything works 😅

Couple things to help from my end:

I cannot access therapy or other mental health services for this right now, nor is it safe for me to do so, so please do not suggest that.

While my own system is traumagenic, that is not the only way this can happen, so please don't suggest groups/communities that are anti everything else.

And the third of the promised 2 things, I am sometimes a very sensitive little marshmallow and I don't really get to pick when that happens, so an emphasis on kindness and patience would be really helpful. I have so many questions and so much I want to be able to just talk about for the first time, and I won't be able to participate if the environment is hostile or competitive.

Despite the fear, I'm also excited to find a place where I can just be....me. All of me. Where I can have the space and safety to sort out what "me" even entails. <3

[limesonspecial]

I am reluctantly breaking my zero-post streak because I would like to address the outrage, which is drawing reasonable conclusions from incomplete information.

So, back when I was a mere twinkle in my father's eye, he took a job with [multinational personal care corporation] in their FemCare division, specifically in materials development. Among other things, he was involved in developing synthetic menstrual fluid and using it to test their products, so the "they were using saline and water" bit above didn't ring true to me. Naturally, I went to the source and asked:

I wasn't able to get the full article because it's behind a paywall, I no longer have university access, and Sci-hub doesn't have it (yet). However, there was this screengrab above [highlight mine] which seems to be the source of the problem:

Now, since I don't have full access, I can't track down what citations [3] and [4] are to see what they actually say, but I think the phrasing "a liquid such as saline or water" [emphasis mine] is telling. That seems like some people say they've used those, but by and large the manufacturers aren't telling. Over Discord, Dad concurs:

Now, dear reader, you might have noticed I said m'dad did this work in the late 80s/early 90s, and thus might be (reasonably) skeptical as to the applicability of his recollections to current product testing. To this concern, I say 1) Dad was still working for [multinational personal care corporation] in an adjacent division until the late aughts, so his secondhand knowledge is considerably more recent than 30+ years ago, and 2) while I was doing my first graduate degree, I happened to intern with the team doing fundamental research on skin & vaginal physiology at the same company, so I can also provide recent(ish) context. Ignoring that my placement on that team was hilariously incongruous with my own research specialty, I can tell you that the folks working on the R side of R&D there were quite interested in the minute details of the vagina - I sat through one presentation about mucosal proteins in vaginal discharge, and there was a guy on the team who was working on building a better model of the vagina to test product fit. In short: they still care about accurate simulations.

Touching briefly on the study's use of actual, human blood for their testing - as dear old Dad pointed out, blood testing has to happen in special blood labs. I can also personally attest, having looked into purchasing blood for my current job, that even if the blood itself is inexpensive, the S&H costs are exorbitant. Across the three vendors I priced out, the combined costs for 50mL (for Imperial unit folks, <2oz) of sheep blood (the cheap stuff!) consistently came out to around USD100. So, even taking into account the economy of scale, it's safe to assume that real-blood testing is limited for reasons of safety and economics. Good simulated fluid is therefore going to be a central component of testing.

All of this is to say that while the original study is really cool, the authors (and many people reading their article) seem to be operating under the misapprehension that corporate R&D does shoddy testing. And I totally get that, because manufacturers are very secretive about their testing protocols. But! Just for the hellsite record, people working in corporate R&D are trying to get/report good data, they just can't tell anyone about how they got it for trade secret reasons. Be mad if you want, just be mad about the right thing.

hey, hi, I was just on the former bird app and came across this info from a brand new study and now I cannot stop screaming internally??? what the actual fuckkkk

theres' an article from the guardian here and here is the actual study:

[corbinite]

Idk maybe I'm a pinko commie bleeding heart naive baby who doesn't understand how the world works and needs to get real but usually if someone lies or acts strange while begging I just assume they're desperate. And I certainly don't go accusing every person who ever tried to help them of secretly running a massive donation ring? Obviously I'm aware that scammers are out there but this is going too far. Just the fact that every single diaspora palestinian blogger who was trying to get people out of Gaza got the same accusations all at once, the fact that y'all IMMEDIATELY accused every one of them of "working with the scammers" the second you saw one of the vetted gofundme recipients acting strange. At this point I don't care what new information comes out, and frankly I still don't find it compelling. But even if one of the several Palestinian bloggers y'all went on a witch hunt for did turn out to be helping scammers, that wouldn't vindicate the witch hunt. It wouldn't vindicate the IMMEDIATE suspicion and hatred that Palestinians both in Palestine and in the diaspora are faced with.

I know I'm gonna make some people mad with the comparison and I'm okay with that: would transvestigstors being correct about one trans woman vindicate their witch hunt? If we actually found a single trans woman who got into women's sports because she wanted the satisfaction of "dominating" cis women as these people say, would that vindicate them? Would it erase the fact that they spent years looking for a bad trans woman solely because they wanted that idea to be true for all trans women? I like to think we'd all do our part and ignore them because we do not reward witch hunts (emphasis on the "I like to think" cause I know some of y'all claim to love trans women but jump on the chance to validate your subconscious suspicions once you can).

We do not reward witch hunts. We do not vindicate witch hunts. If there's a contingent of this site that is going around making accusations against every palestinian blogger (and I do mean every one, we CANNOT forget that that was what was in the first posts they made on this matter before they decided to focus in on one blogger), we are obliged to ignore them. Courts (supposedly, we know they often don't do this) are supposed to throw out evidence that is acquired without due process. Because using that evidence, regardless of what it is, incentivises the stripping of more and more rights from anyone suspected (as we have seen). I know this is just a hellsite blogging platform and not a real courtroom but it's still important to not ignore the racism that went into these accusations in the first place. It's important to remember that the accused bloggers were accused immediately on reflex as soon as there was an excuse to, and they have endured death threats as a result, and every single fundraiser they were boosting has suffered regardless of if the fundraisers have shown any of the behavior y'all were using as evidence or not. This is having real world consequences. We do not reward witch hunts.

[riddlerosehearts]

okay actually i think instead of watching a movie i will try to sleep lol. emphasis on try because the last few days it's been much colder than we're used to or are particularly equipped to deal with here and also our power randomly went out last night. so don't be surprised if i'm back on this hellsite again in an hour.

[ablednt]

Hello. I've recently seen your post called 'Actually helpful advice for the kids on this hellsite', and I have 2 main questions about the aforementioned post: 1: Why is it essential to put your age on the internet? According to common wisdom, that's the one thing you oughtn't put, no matter what. Given your heavy emphasis on the fact that it's essential to do so, I'm understandably curious. Next up is why it's essential to not engage in discourse. (follow up post incoming)

You're gonna have to send me the post it's old enough I forgot what I said in it but if you do I can go over it and explain what parts of it I still agree with.

[ali-kitkat]

Damian, after watching his girlfriend do something stupid: How are you alive right now?

Marinette, tired and trying her best: Oh, my love. It's through sheer spite, not on my part though. The gods have decreed me humanity's problem.