#emphasis on the hellsite

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 55

Malleus Maleficarum/Doomsday

“Malleus Maleficarum”

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: Oh fuck no. I’m barely surviving WATCHING.

Ew wtf…this is…one of the most stomach churning episodes I’ve ever watched. Between the lady in the opening pulling out all her teeth and bleeding out and now magic-ing maggots into this dude’s burger.

But then what killed HER? Was it the OTHER neighbor??

This is…this is a good way to get yourselves on these witches’ hit list.

People who are big shots in their neighborhoods making a big deal of their last names to complete strangers from outside their little circle baffle me

Dude…Sam. No. You don’t just…Oh. That’s that’s not an ordinary demon.

I don’t believe Ruby’s really …yeah, she wasn’t betraying the Winchesters. Because that was the most male gaze-y shit I’ve ever seen

Yo. Dean…aren’t you supposed to have a little conflict about stabbing the person the demon is possessing?? Just even a little hesitation?

I don’t remember how long we keep Ruby, but I’m gonna miss her when she goes. A demon who remembers what it’s like to be human is an interesting character

“Been On My Mind…”: Nope.

“Doomsday”

I love Mickey and the scientist pretending to know about the time war to save their lives for just a second but in the lamest way possible

You’re going to regret making that promise, Doctor.

Omg here it is. The moment I’ve been waiting for “our species are similar though your is inelegant” “daleks have no concept of elegance” “that is obvious”

“Daleks be warned, you have declared war upon the cybermen” “this is not war, this is pest control” “we have five million cybermen. How many are you?” “Four” “you would destroy the cybermen with four Daleks?” “We would destroy the cybermen with one Dalek. You are superior in only one respect” “what is that?” “You are better at dying” (someone on tiktok also used this audio clip with Shigaraki as the Dalek and the Hero Safety Commission president as the cybermen, and it was probably the most I’ve ever been into Shiggy in my life)

Note that I watched that clip like……eight times at least

Amazing. Rose sees the Doctor on screen and her heart rate rises, the Daleks point this out and Mickey’s just like “yeah, old news. Been there.”

You're not gonna catch me feeling bad or Yvonne.

Good lord there are some really good lines in this. The cybermen telling the Doctor that he’s proof emotions destroy you, and he agrees but then goes “mind you, I quite like hope. Hope’s a good emotion”

(FOURTH! FOURTH TIME'S THE CHARM, RIGHT??? ISTG I'LL END MY REWATCH TONIGHT IF I HAVE TO REDO THIS AGAIN. MY VILLAIN ORIGIN STORY WILL BEGIN BECAUSE I'LL HAVE NO MORE SUPERWHOLOCK I NEED TO WATCH. I have moved from my bed to my couch, I'm writing on my laptop IN HOPES THAT THIS TIME THE POST WILL GO THROUGH. I can't even find solace in watching my favorite scene any more.)

He really puts on those glasses every time he has void stuff to check out. You don't really pick up on it the first time, but it gets more and more obvious with every rewatch...

Where and when is Rose getting her hair cut??

The Doctor's so enigmatic in this scene where he meets Pete again. If I hadn't watched it so many times tonight, I'd be baffled by how swiftly he changes every few seconds. Now, I'm used to it.

Next time I watch the series (not any time soon because this episode is now CURSED for me), I want to watch out for THAT Note earlier in the series. It's ALL. OVER. this episode, but I wanna listen for it earlier.

The way Rose tells the Daleks what she did to their emperor. What a woman.

Poor Mickey. Like, yeah, the genesis ark had to be opened, but why did it have to be him who did it?? I still don't understand why the Doctor thinks of it as a good thing (but that's partly because he talks so fast I have a hard time understanding him occasionally).

The Jackie and Pete reunionnnnnn *sobs* and yet they still carve out time for levity "All those daft little ideas of mine. They worked. Made me rich" "I don't care about that...how rich?" "Very" "I don't care about that...how very?"

But then the desperation as they run toward each other and embrace uuugggghhhhhhhhh

Huh, the Daleks were right. The cymbermen ARE better at dying. It wasn't just an empty taunt.

I know it's supposed to be a scary prospect, but the way the genesis ark spins and spits out Daleks is just funny to me

THE MORE I WATCH THIS SCENE THE MORE I HATE IT. AT FIRST I HATED IT BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T KNOW THE HEARTACHE THEY WERE GONNA GO THROUGH AND TO SEE THEM SO GIDDY HURT ME. BUT HE KNOWS. HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S GONNA DO. AND HE LET'S HER PLAY ALONG AND HAVE HER FUN. HE GIVES HER A CUE TO ASK ABOUT THE GLASSES AND THEN PUTS THEM ON HER. AND THEY'RE LAUGHING THE WHOLE TIME BECAUSE SHE THINKS SHE'S GONNA GET TO STAY WITH HIM FOREVER. I HATE IT.

The argument over who's staying and who's going to the other universe is heart wrenching. I do have my criticisms of it, but that's entirely a personal thing.

Roses really love jumping BACK INTO dangerous situations for their boyfriends, don't they? Tyler...Dewitt-Bucater (I'll look up the spelling for that if I think of it in the morning, if tumblr doesn't eat this too)

Did they have to give the Yvonne cyberman a different voice than literally every other cyberman? Was it not enough to make her say her last words again? The ones she repeated over and over before she was turned?

It must be absolutely terrifying to have to hold on long enough to allow MILLIONS of both Daleks and cybermen to go through the breach, all while it's trying to suck you in, too. And you're RIGHT THERE. And if something goes wrong (which, of course it will), you're basically powerless, and the person you're with IS powerless to help you.

NO. No...

The way they can't even comfort her. They don't know what to do. They can't go to her, though Mickey's fighting the urge to. Because what can they even say or do??

And they way they can just ALMOST feel each other's presence across universes...it's not faaaaaaaaair

Reminder to google what the difference between a sun and a normal star is. Because...if he's burning up a SUN to talk to her...there's gotta be some space laws against that. If there are planets with life revolving around that sun?? Or is that after your first genocide, they just stop checking on if you've committed more?

I dunno if I'll ever decide if it's a mercy that he never gets to say it back. Is this an Empire Strikes Back situation? It'll hurt more if he DOES get to say it? Because it's futile? They'll never be able to be together. Also will never decide if he ran out of time or purposely ran down the clock. Which isn't to say that he's not devastated to not be able to. But he's done so much to protect her and her future and her future happiness, why would he stop now?

DONNA!!!!!!!! I love the surprise of her at the end. And she really does show up when the Doctor's at his lowest: after losing Rose, after TRULY (sort of) becoming the last of the Time Lords

[togglesbloggle]

Your river post is basically impossible to read on dark mode

How bizarre. After some fixes, it now looks good on dark mode locally; please do let me know if there's still a problem on other devices.

And thanks for flagging the problem! You receive one Toggle point.

[monscrow]

intro post, i guess!!!

last updated 06/nov/2024

⚠️flash warning for blinkies at the bottom⚠️

free gaza, free palestine, stop genocide. you don't agree? block me.

i go by both mons and crow.

my pronouns are they/them, he/him and any neos/xenos that you think would fit either comedically or off of vibes.

lvl 16, so, a minor !! beware

aromantic, graysexual, something like that; qprs are sick asf and all hail relationship anarchy.

art sideblog is @monscrow-arts

super amazing pretty boyfriend !!!<3 🍎

audhdcd (asd + adhd + ocd 😻😋) and hEDS (+ ortho hypo 😛). i use tonetags.

bday is oct 7. 🎉🎉🎉

i'm mexican 🇲🇽!! i speak both spanish and english.

timezone is cst/utc-6.

i say slurs i can reclaim (mainly the f and t queer ones) and swear a lot, though if that makes you uncomfortable please either block me or lmk so i can try to tone it down when around you.

i love interacting!! feel free to tag me in stuff, send some asks (be it on anon or not), or message me! moots can ask for my discord even if we've never actually talked before. though i suck at keeping consistent, nothing personal i promise</3 /gen

i tend to spam-reblog so do with that information what you will.

some tags you might see me use here and there:

#mons rambles ← just my thoughts, ideas, opinions, and whatever i feel like throwing into the tumblr void.

#ask a crow / #anon asks ← askbox replies.

#save / #art save / #fav / #hellsite faves ← these are more for myself, but yeah they're pretty self-descriptive. just in case you get curious or anything.

#🍎 ← beloved.

hyperfixations/interests/things i'm passionate about !!! i guess, kinda

→ mcr (+ most of the members' solo projects)

→ killjoys (california + national anthem, but mainly calif and fanon)

→ demolition lovers lore (i have literally written like at least three different essays about it for school help me i'm so serious)

→ emo/alt/diy culture

→ will wood

→ bandom in general

→ graphic design, arts and crafts, illustration (that's right y'all graphic design IS my passion 😔)

→ fnaf

→ cosplay/costume-making

→ d&d

→ crows (no way, crow, really???)

→ australian shepherds

→ the umbrella academy (s4 isn't canon in my heart + currently reading the comics !!! )

→ gravity falls

→ neurodivergencies/psychology/disabilities (this one's pretty meta ngl)

→ lgbtqia+ identities (emphasis on the aroace-spec ones + relationship anarchy)

→ politics/activism

→ linguistics + conlangs

→ fantasy in general (high fantasy, magic, vampires, tieflings, you name it)

→ boardgames

→ the count of monte cristo (2024) (also i just bought the book so i'll be reading that too !!)

→ parkour civilization

→ uhhhh there's more but i don't remember rn, i'll keep adding as i see fit (probably... maybe..... perhaps....... quizás........ puede ser..........)

dni

trump supporters, terfs, transphobes, anti lgbtqia+/queerphobics, exclusionists, ableists, racists, prolifers/antichoicers, proshippers/anti-antis, irl gore, pro-israel/zionists, pro-ai generated "content", pro-nft, non-critical media consumers, classists, ed blogs, sh blogs.

also, i'm aware that dnis tend to not be effective and i probably will still get shitty ppl in my inbox so i can and will block. though i'm p chill as long as you're chill. this blog is run by a very neurodivergent, mentally ill, mexican, transmasc, aroace faggot, and any kind of bigoted hatred will not be tolerated.

blinkies made with blinkies cafe !!!

pssst btw, before you go, if you read my intro post i'd heavily encourage you to like it, so i can know!!! :] (/nf though!)

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for supporting a cause I don’t believe in?

I am currently playing a major role in a misguided charity organization with a goal that I (and many others) think is impossible to achieve.

Why?  Because I was bored!  I’d just returned from a seven year sabbatical and was in desperate need of something to do.  The founder of this lost cause (I’ll call her C) announced their grand opening on live television, and it was a disaster!

I decided right then and there that I was going to join C’s charity to get a front row seat to the chaos to come.  It’s like watching a trainwreck, complete with the fire, screams, and the satisfaction of watching a well-intentioned project flying off the rails.

That being said, I do take my role here very seriously, and I’ve thus far not failed to deliver on a single one of my promises to C and the charity.  (I do things on my own terms, and for my own reasons, but I always keep my word.)

I was open from the start about my views on this wacky nonsense and my reasons for getting involved, and she accepted my help in spite of that.

Delusional optimism aside, C is a charming young woman, and she does have potential.  I think she’ll do great things; not the great things she’s trying to do, but great things all the same!  And although I still don’t believe in her cause, I’ve found myself rather endeared to her.  I’ve somehow wound up becoming attached to the entire ragtag bunch of has-beens that make up the charity’s staff and clientele, as well – which does complicate things a bit.

I don’t feel any remorse for what I’m doing here, if that changes things at all.  It felt like an important detail to add, what with so much emphasis being placed on feeling remorse for one’s misdeeds and this website’s reputation for moral scrutiny and weaponizing shame.

The outcome of this poll will not change anything about how I interact with C or her charity in the future, and it won’t unlock some buried guilt or secret sense of humanity.  I’m simply curious to see what you think, and will enjoy watching whatever “terminally online discourse” may come of it.

So, hellsite, AITA?

[ohsalome]

Actually one thing I haven't seen discussed is that a lot of -> pro-Palestine <- Jews (emphasis for the tankies) have been asking to stop using "from the river to the sea" because the phrase ends with "Palestine will be arab" in Arabic and therefore is a call of genocide and had been used to harassed Jewish people but a lot of horrible people on this hellsite ignore that. Yet the same people spreaded fakes about how Stepan Bandera invented "Glory to Ukraine" (he hadn't) and therefore anyone who says that is a nazi. It's all so exhausting

Right? Right?

And the same people who decry Azov as nazis with their full evidence, beginning to the end, being "they wear patches"; but Hamas kidnapping, raping and beheading is somehow "justified" and "what else were they supposed to do???"

The double standards are infuriating.

[beansprouts]

“The act of revolt is common to the human experience.” -r/AskHistorians

r/AskHistorians has a well-earned reputation for quality: its moderators work very hard to uphold high standards for research and civil discussion, resulting in among the most beloved history-centric forums online today. Unsurprisingly, they are among the subs protesting API changes right now, and because u/spez is a bastard and not backing down, they are still protesting post-blackout: most of the sub is currently in private (read-only, effectively) mode.

r/AskHistorians moderator u/CoeurdeLionne pinned this writeup on revolts to the sub, which I quite liked and wanted to share to my primary hellsite.

Post Transcription follows (emphasis mine, links are from original):

Welcome back Historians! Like most of Reddit, we are in the midst of what many news outlets have described as a ‘revolt’ against proposed changes to Reddit’s API policies that will hurt the functionality of our platform, and hinder our ability to continue providing moderated content.

You can read our previous statements here, here, and here. And if you would like to see a sample of r/AskHistorians’s broader outreach to mainstream media, you can read our statements:

The New York Times The Washington Post CBS News SFGate Forward

The act of revolt is common to the human experience. Humans rebel for a variety of ends, often to preserve a norm or institution being threatened, or to destroy one viewed as oppressive. The very act of revolt or rebellion can take infinite forms and have equally diverse outcomes. Some end in small victories that fade into the tapestry of history, while others lead to immense social change that dramatically change the wider world. Even when revolts fail, they leave lasting consequences that cannot always be escaped or ignored.

We are inviting our contributors to write about instances of revolt, rebellion, revolution and resistance. No rebellion is too small, or too remote. From protests against poor working conditions, to the deposing of despots, tell us the stories of revolt throughout history, and the consequences left behind.

Floating Features are intended to allow users to contribute their own original work. If you are interested in reading recommendations, please consult our booklist, or else limit them to follow-up questions to posted content. Similarly, please do not post top-level questions. This is not an AMA with panelists standing by to respond. Such questions ought to be submitted as normal questions in the subreddit.

As is the case with previous Floating Features, there is relaxed moderation here to allow more scope for speculation and general chat than there would be in a usual thread! But with that in mind, we of course expect that anyone who wishes to contribute will do so politely and in good faith.

Comments on the current protest should be limited to META threads, and complaints should be directed to u/spez.

[swampgallows]

for all the emphasis on the "we're the neurospicy mental illness hellsite xD", people sure do default to welfare queen oppression olympics type shit when they find out people are actually disabled by their disabilities. people on SSI did not "give up" and people who are adult dependents aren't "not trying enough". "but they're taking away resources!" resources for whom? the people who are... disabled by their disability???? those resources????? they're "privileged" for being on government welfare? hello?

[darkstarbucks]

I’m bored and I have the sudden urge to have a mortal enemy will you be my enemy

—@yes-im-youtube-kids

(This isn’t like an I hate u btw it’s more like you’re cool and I consider you a friend and we get into passive arguments mostly over something like me spam posting a lot so would you do me the honor of being locked in combat with me. Emphasis on honor)

Well.

This hellsite just got a lot more interesting.

I accept this enemy-ship.

Our battle will be legendary, as they say.

[tayloralisonswift]

AHHHHHH I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY THAT WILL GET ME VILIFIED BY EVERYONE ON THIS HELLSITE EMPHASIS HELL

[greyeyedmonster-18]

(happy happy birthday to my favorite person on this hellsite @impishtubist thank you for hopping into my DM's one day and never leaving. you are my brain twin and chaos twin and there is no other person i love screaming about HC's with more than you. have the very best day <3

p.s. i know i asked you for a list of prompts, but i...ignored all of them (true to the brand) and decided to write this one instead. inspired by our many unhinged conversations and my love for butts. xoxo).

--

"It's perfectly--"

"No."

"--natural, Harry. You're just growing and--"

"No." Harry repeated, stabbing a piece of broccoli on his plate with emphasis, still not bothering to look up at Sirius, who was talking to him from across the dinner table.

"Okay, I can see you don't want to talk about this and--"

"Oh really? You should consider changing careers, becoming a private investigator because, Merlin's Beard, I don't know how you figured out that I don't want to talk about this. Couldn't have been the past 800 no's I've said." Harry had dropped his fork, glaring at Sirius.

Remus snorted into his water, droplets dripping down the sides of the glass and onto his shirt. Sirius rolled his eyes and wordlessly handed Remus a napkin while trying to keep his own neutral expression.

"Becoming an animaigus isn't easy," Sirius tried one more time, only for Harry to throw his hands up into the air dramatically and slouch back into his chair.

"Obviously it's not bloody easy."

"It's perfectly normal to run into...magical...er, help me out here, Remus..."

"Snafu's," Remus offered, having wiped the water from his mouth. Unlike Sirius, Remus was not bothering to hide his amusement, consistently clearing his throat to drown out periodic chuckles throughout dinner, eyes watering with unspent laughter, face flushed.

"Bloody snafu..." muttered Harry, "You had to wash my arse!"

"I've done it before! It's nothing I haven't seen," Sirius said, trying to comfort a teenager who was mortified that his godfather was forced into the position of having to give Harry a bath. Harry had gotten the hang of transforming into his animal form--a large Maine Coon-- and had spent the afternoon traipsing about the backyard of Number 12 with Sirius. Transforming back...was a different story. Harry had gotten "stuck" before but had never gotten stuck after getting himself covered in mud.

"Yeah, when I was a baby!"

"And when you were 12, remember that nasty bit of poison oak you got when you dropped your pants while camping and we had to rub ointment because you couldn't reach and-"

"You are not helping, Moony."

"It wasn't the first time I had washed cat butt, and it won't be the last," Sirius said finally. "I promise next time you get stuck and you're muddy, I'll just leave you outside in the cold and rain to suffer. Sound good, babe?"

"You couldn't have just let me into the house one time..." grumbled Harry sitting up, to resume eating, the scowl on his face still present. "Lord Black and his Pristine House..."

Remus coughed again before grinning, "Harry, did I ever tell you about the time I had to wash your Dad's and Sirius's arse?"

[kyra45]

This is kind of sad but I think I know what's going on. You posted some harassing anons, and people blocked you maybe because they didn't want to see things like that (based on how somesone said not to post that content untagged,) then someone sent rude asks and now you're attributing it to one person who blocked you. Do you know how many other people blocked you? What evidence do you even actually have that proves they're connected to the asks? I blocked you too! You say you're trying to avoid drama or smearing other people but you're just making passive aggressive remarks trying to smear them like a concern troll, truly despicable, rethink your life.

I've been following you on another blog for a while, and it's very obvious what the url is because you've been posting their posts left and right for days. And if sending an ask telling you my thoughts is "harassment" just because it's calling you out on something you've done that isn't nice, I don't know what to say, holy crap. What.

The only reason I'm still here is because I'm scared you're going to call me out for blocking you too. And the whole "please don't harass them" after practically spelling out their name (what other blog calls themselves "scam archive" that has interacted with you?) is like putting a pile of meat in the middle of a pack of dogs and expecting them not to lunge for it. It's fake kindness. It's like people making callouts and telling people "don't harass them", it never works lol. Now I'm really mad lol, christ. I was expecting better from this blog.

Literally know that and read it, the emphasis is on NOT REPLYING. Takes half a second to delete the messages as they come in. You're feeding and enabling them and they're getting a laugh out of it.

But sure, I’m lying about the asks I got that made me cut ties with someone. I even had the original post not rebloggble because I didn’t want it to go anywhere.

Before the last ask, I was literally told “Saying you can’t do anything is learned helplessness” when i had explained:

1. My stalker uses a VPN

2. VPN’s get around blocks

3. My stalker can/will make multiple accounts to send me asks even if I’ve continue ignoring/blocking them

I am also making this post not rebloggable but apparently I’m ‘lying’ and acting ‘suspicious’ just because the whole situation made me extremely uncomfortable and I don’t like discussing it to people using anonymous. These asks only stopped when I blocked someone and no more has been sent since. While I can’t say for sure it was who I think it was, I remain clear when I say don’t harass them. I’m still doing what I do here.

But don’t you dare come here and dismiss what I went through and accuse me of something. They talked to me and all they did was call me a child and blame me for harassment towards them when I don’t condone anyone sending it. I’m not a child. But if the harassment is that bad then I’m sorry but I’m not telling people to go harass anyone in any fashion and it’s not my fault if someone does it. If they say I sent them their lying and I make it quite clear that no one should be getting harassed just because I talk about them.

Do you think people will publicly admit to sending someone anon hate on this hellsite? No. Because we all know what would end up happening.

[batmansymbol]

I am currently open for freelance editing projects :)

Hey y’all! If anyone needs an editor, I have bandwidth right now and have opened back up for editing work. I’m down for anything, “anything” defined here as:

Developmental edits. This includes some manuscript comments, but largely focuses on a comprehensive edit letter comprising notes on plot, character, style, voice, and theme.

Line edits. Feeling good about the bones of your story, but worried that you’re bogged down by inefficient language, indistinct dialogue, or the odd wandering character arc? The line edit may be for you.

Copyedits. Grammar, usage, spelling, etc. Every nit picked. Fair warning: I don’t use a style guide, because I find that imposing e.g. the Chicago Manual of Style on fiction messes with things like “voice” and “fun.” My emphasis will fall on clarity, and on tone: does it feel right?

Query letter edits. Pitches are hell, but weirdly, I love them. Rate: $35 flat fee for a query, $50 for a synopsis. $10 for each revision pass thereafter (I will, of course, not charge you if my response to a revision is “This slaps!”).

Essay, article, or cover letter proofing. For ethical reasons I won’t review academic material, and for national security reasons I won't review classified CIA documents :( Rate: $15 flat fee, plus 2¢/word.

I don't do authenticity editing on its own, because it makes me feel weird. That said, if you happen to have a protagonist who’s bi or pan or Chinese-American or multiracial and you’re like, “Oh no, have I messed this up horribly,” feel free to request that I take a look from that angle. Same for characters with depression, anxiety, or relatively mild ADHD.

Also: I have no reading triggers or content aversions. I'm fine with any kind of material, disturbing, upsetting, or very very sexy though it may be.

My rates for fiction editing vary based on project length and status. With something under 10k words, I feel relatively comfortable ballparking around 2¢/word for developmental/line and 1.5¢/word for copyediting, but beyond that, I’d want to test-edit a sample. Occasionally I’ll swap to an hourly rate thereafter, because what if you send over the next Hunger Games, and I tear through it in three hours, but at 2¢/word it’s supposed to cost $1,600? Ridiculous. I hate editing rates.

You can message me here on tumblr or email me directly at rileyredgate@gmail.com if you’d like to hire me. If you have a question, don't be shy about reaching out to ask. I am not a salesperson and will never try to hard-sell you.

If you know anybody looking for an editor, please do pass them this post! On this hellsite I know I am just another weirdo, but in real life, I have the qualifications to provide writers with high-quality editing backed up by years of experience in the publishing industry. Per The Official Bio:

Let’s take your fiction to the next level!

I'm the author of four novels: Alone Out Here, published by Disney-Hyperion; and Seven Ways We Lie, Noteworthy, and Final Draft, published by Abrams Books. My books have been published on four continents, optioned for film and TV, given seven starred reviews from critics, and named to Best-of-the-Year lists by Kirkus Reviews, Booklist, and the New York Public Library. Besides editing my own fiction, I've also done editorial work for authors whose books are published at Scholastic, HarperCollins, Penguin Random House, and more.

As an editor, I dive in with an underlying enthusiasm for every project. I'm not interested in trying to alter others' work to my tastes, but in recognizing what story a writer wants to tell and helping them reach that destination, whether with a developmental edit or a final polish. I'm happy to edit works of any length and genre, though my specialty is in fiction, and particularly in children's and YA fiction.

Reblogs would be greatly, greatly appreciated! xo

Riley

[the-prophesied-disco-gay]

Okay so to follow up on the discovery that apparently other people are aware I am on this hellsite now, I'm tossing out a request for help. I need to know where I can go to find DID community, to discuss these things without it being visible to everyone and their demons.

I have never been open about this before, and I don't know that I am at a point where I can be yet (at least to the general public). It has been my Great Secret for most of my life. Finding terminology, other people like me, finding out I'm not alone in this has been....indescribable. I want so badly to be able to talk about it. Even if only once, to get it all out, I'd be so thrilled with that chance.

Little bit terrified though ("little bit" in this instance should be understood to mean I am so scared I can't think around the screaming in my head). I have kept this secret for so many years, because the stigma is so bad and the risks are so great. But I can't now. I can't go back, knowing there is all this community and love, I can't pretend it's not there and just continue alone. It hurts too much, it's too scary and confusing.

So! If you know of such a community, maybe a discord or something? I will be so grateful for suggestions. Should I just make another blog? Will a phone store two logins for the same site? Cause my brain will not, I gotta have that saved lol. I've been on tumblr forever, so naturally I have no idea how anything works 😅

Couple things to help from my end:

I cannot access therapy or other mental health services for this right now, nor is it safe for me to do so, so please do not suggest that.

While my own system is traumagenic, that is not the only way this can happen, so please don't suggest groups/communities that are anti everything else.

And the third of the promised 2 things, I am sometimes a very sensitive little marshmallow and I don't really get to pick when that happens, so an emphasis on kindness and patience would be really helpful. I have so many questions and so much I want to be able to just talk about for the first time, and I won't be able to participate if the environment is hostile or competitive.

Despite the fear, I'm also excited to find a place where I can just be....me. All of me. Where I can have the space and safety to sort out what "me" even entails. <3

[thequeenofthewinter]

Work-In-Progress Wednesday

Good morning/afternoon/night/whatever time it may be for you, dear Hellsite perusers! I humbly offer you a piece of my latest WIP chapter in hopes you might find some entertainment this fine Wednesday, and extend an invitation for anyone who would like to join me to also share. @oblivions-dawn @sneaksandsweets @blossom-adventures @rose-like-the-phoenix @nerevar-quote-and-star. As always, no pressure. <3

“These new harpoons are made of refined malachite and will easily splinter the hulls of even the biggest army vessels. I had them commissioned from an Orc camp.”

Ulfric nods his head politely. “All of this is very well and good, Torsten, but—“

He shakes his head excitedly as he talks over the Jarl. “You haven’t even seen the galley, yet. This ship was designed unlike any other before it. It’s built for war and long days out at sea…” 

Before the Jarl can get another word in edgewise, the Torsten walks away in the other direction, and Ulfric lets out an exasperated sigh.

“I wasn’t even aware that Orcs would take commissions from outsiders. When would he have become bloodkin?” Dahlia mutters under her breath in confusion.

“Then, you see what I do.” Ulfric lifts one of his brows and gives her a knowing look. “How much do you think this ship costs? …and who do you think he thinks is going to fund all of this?”

Suddenly, she understands why they have been asked there. This is the catch that Ulfric was talking about earlier during the council meeting. “He wants us to turn out our pockets.”

“Yes,” Ulfric nods, “and he’s been trying to do this for years. I already knew exactly what he wanted: a Navy which will be lead by his ships and will line his pockets with septims.”

Dahlia furrows her brow in confusion. “Then why come here at all?” 

“Sometimes, in the game of politics, pandering into what plans others have and crafting the illusion of interest is just as important as actual interest. Perhaps, we cannot pay for a fleet of these ships, but there is something else we can gain from this and a way we can turn it to our advantage.”

Her mouth opens with surprise as the realization dawns on her, “You’re going to ask Torsten for something, aren’t you?”

A wide smile breaks onto Ulfric’s face. “Maybe we are.”

She doesn’t miss the emphasis on the word and his inclusion of her. “But what is it? I don’t remember us talking about any plans.”

“All will be revealed later, my heart. For now, trust me and follow my lead.” He winks at her before strolling casually after Torsten.

Not for the first time, Dahlia wonders at her husband and how he gets any sleep at night for all of the thinking he does: Ulfric Stormcloak, ever the strategist, is always one step ahead, and now is not an exception.

[cheesybadgers]

Reblogging your own viral post with clarifications in bigger font for extra emphasis because people have dared to add on additional points is one of the most irritating fucking things on this hellsite. If you don't want to promote discussion or see things you might not 100% agree with, why post at all? Make your post unrebloggable and don't tag it if you're going to get pissy at people for engaging in the conversation you started in the first place. Job done.

[gamerkats]

The Seven Hellsite Sins

Glutton for Content - A "Feed Me, Seymour" attitude whereby you're consuming as much of your dashboard as possible, giving excessive notes to your mutuals to encourage more, and losing all meaning of time in your day.

Greedy Fanfictionist - Creating/supporting fan fictions that have an emphasis on taking extreme liberties with absolutely no canon in sight.

Sloth Queues - You're so used to filling your massive queue, it is instinctual at this point. Even your own OP content is queued out of habit and will post 7 - 20 days after you wrote it.

Wrathful Responses - You have absolutely no business interacting, but felt compelled to say something; either you were the aggressor or the defender. Either way, you weren't your best self.

Envious Self-Doubt - Seeing others receiving lots of notes and feeling like you don't matter, aren't good enough, or aren't being seen.

Lusty Bots - The only ones out there who truly want us to all have a "good time", but so long as they don't message, you don't block them as a follower, because what if that insanely hot pic was a legit account who admired your work.

Prideful Patronage - The worst of all the sins...against all better mental health advice, you still have an active Tumblr account and feel it's superior to other socmed. Double points on this sin if you actually told someone about your shoelaces and now they have an account too.

How many of the Hellsite sins have you committed?