#emotionally hurt Martin
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annabelle--cane · 7 months ago
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my problem as a nuancepilled s5chad is that I am really compelled by all the ways jon and martin keep winding up hurting each other and the ways in which their relationship is dysfunctional, but unless I am very clear in my intent then I get people who think they agree with me coming into my notes/inbox to say "yeah, it's a bad/poorly written relationship and they're just bad for each other," which isn't quite what I'm trying to say.
I think these are two very unwell people with intensely varying levels of self-awareness, but they also have a strong, heartfelt commitment to each other and appear to really enjoy spending time together, and if, for example, the safehouse period had stretched on forever, they would have had a successful if sometimes very emotionally taxing relationship. I think they both royally screwed up a few times during the apocalypse, and that that was basically inevitable given the environment, and that they showed a willingness to communicate, reconcile, and change. but also they were ultimately the center piece of a tragedy narrative so they were never going to have the chance to actually Become Healthy.
idk, I see where "they're a toxic couple and need to break up" as a take is coming from and I respect having it, but to me it feels the same as saying that romeo and juliet were a toxic couple. nah mate, the tragedy isn't that they're bad for each other, it's that they could have worked out under almost any other circumstances, but they live in a world where that was never going to be possible.
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ingravinoveritas · 5 months ago
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Lovely new article about Michael in Paste magazine. Article is behind a paywall, so here is a transcription (with thanks to the person on FB who transcribed it, and the parts in bold are my own emphasis).
There’s so much to love about Prime Video’s Good Omens. A delightful adaptation of the popular Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett novel of the same name, the series is romantic, thoughtful, hilarious, and heartfelt by turns. The story of the almost-apocalypse and what comes afterward, it wrestles with big concepts like destiny, free will, and forgiveness, all framed through the lens of an unorthodox relationship between an angel and a demon whose love for one another is a key to saving the world.
As anyone who has watched Good Omens already knows, nothing about this series works without the pair of lead performances at its center. Stars David Tennant and Michael Sheen—who play the demon Crowley and the angel Aziraphale, respectively—have the kind of lighting-in-a-bottle chemistry that’s the stuff of legend, and their characters’ every interaction conveys both their deep affection for one another and the Earth they’ve made their home. Their romance is the emotional linchpin around which most of the series turns, and their heartbreaking separation in the Season 2 finale is so devastating precisely because we’ve seen how necessary the two are to each other’s lives.
But it’s Sheen’s performance in that final scene that really twists the knife. As Aziraphale’s face crumples following his and Crowley’s long-awaited kiss, the actor manages to convey what feels like every possible human emotion in the span of less than thirty seconds as the angel realizes what he has both had and just lost. The moment is emotionally brutal to watch, particularly after sitting through five and a half episodes of Aziraphale looking as lovestruck as the lead in any rom-com. Sheen makes it all look effortless, shifting from giddy joy to devastated longing and everything in between, and we really don’t talk enough about how powerful and underrated his work in this series truly is.
Though he’s half of the central duo that makes Good Omens tick, Sheen’s role often tends to get overshadowed by his co-star’s. It’s not difficult to see why, given that Tennant gets to spend most of the show swanning around in tight trousers looking like the Platonic ideal of the charming bad boy, complete with flaming red hair and dramatic eyewear. Tennant also benefits from Crowley’s much more sympathetic emotional arc. I mean, it’s hard not to love a cynical demon with a heart of gold who’s been pining after his angelic best friend for literal millennia even after being cast out from Heaven. Of course, viewers are drawn to that—likely a lot more easily than the story of an angel who’s simply trying the best he can to do the right thing as he wrestles with his role in God’s Ineffable Plan. Plus, let’s be real, Tennant’s sizeable Doctor Who fanbase certainly doesn’t hurt his character’s popularity.
As a performer, Sheen has a long history of playing both real people (Tony Blair, David Frost, Brian Clough) and offbeat villains (Prodigal Son’s Martin Whitly, Underworld’s Lucian, the Twilight Saga’s Aro). In some ways, the role of a fussy, bookish angel is playing more than a bit against type for him—Gaiman himself has said he originally intended for Sheen to be Crowley—but in his capable hands, Aziraphale becomes something much more than a simple avatar for the forces of Good (or even of God, for that matter). With a soft demeanor and a positively blinding smile, Sheen’s take on the character consistently radiates warmth and goodness, even as it contains surprisingly hidden depths. The former guardian of the Eastern Gate of Eden who gifted a fleeing Adam and Eve his flaming sword and befriended the Serpent who caused their Fall, Azirphale isn’t a particularly conventional angel. He enjoys all-too-human indulgences like food and wine, runs a Hoarders-esque bookshop that never seems to sell anything, and spends most of his time making heart eyes at the being that’s meant to be his hereditary adversary.
Given the much more difficult task of playing the literal angel to Tennant’s charming devil, Sheen must find a way to make ideas like goodness and forgiveness as interesting and fun to watch as their darker counterparts. It’s a generally thankless task, but one that Sheen tackles with gusto, particularly in the series’ second season, as Good Omens explores Aziraphale’s slowly evolving idea of what he can and cannot accept in terms of being a soldier of Heaven. His growing understanding that the truth of creation is colored in shades of grey and compromise is often conveyed through little more than Sheen’s deftly shifting expressions and body language.
Our pop culture consistently struggles to portray the idea of goodness as something compelling or worth watching. Explicitly “good” characters, particularly those who are religiously coded, are frequently treated as the butt of some sort of unspoken joke they aren’t in on, used to underline the idea that faith is a form of naivety or that kindness is somehow a weakness. For a lot of people, the entire concept of turning the other cheek is a sucker’s bet, and believing in something greater than oneself, be it a higher power or a sense of purpose, is a waste of time. But Good Omens is a story grounded in the idea that faith, hope, and love—for one another, God, and the entire world—are active verbs. And nowhere is that more apparent than in Sheen’s characterization of the soft angel whose old-fashioned waistcoats mask a spine of steel and who refuses to give up—on Crowley, on humanity, or on the idea that Heaven is still something that can be saved.
Though he and Tennant have pretty much become a matched set at this point (both on and off-screen), Sheen’s performance has rarely gotten the critical accolades it deserves. (Tennant alone was nominated for a BAFTA for Season 2, and Sheen was categorized as a supporting actor when the series’ competed in the 2019 Saturn Awards.) But it is his quiet strength that holds up so much of the rest of the show around him, and Sheen deserves to be more frequently recognized for it. That he makes it look so easy is just another sign of how good his performance really is.
I love this so much. The thoroughly well-deserved praise for Michael's incredible performance as Aziraphale, but also that Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship is specifically described as a "romance." And of course, the first sentence of the last paragraph that acknowledges how much Michael and David are indeed a "matched set" that cannot (and should not) be separated...
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o-lanterns · 1 year ago
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Simon Petrikov the Episode... I know Simon's the star but I can't stop thinking about Finn.
Seeing firsthand just how badly his grief over Jake has messed him up. All of his progress in emotionally connecting with himself and with others essentially went down the drain. He can't process anything outside of the lens of epic questing. His idea to help Simon is to put the man in mortal danger for the purpose of rescuing him and never once considered that Simon could be seriously injured or killed, because of course Finn the Human is too strong! This is nothing to him, his job is to fight and protect. And when Simon does actually get hurt Finn shrugs it off. Ahh, that's just another battle wound, nothing fatal! It'll be a cool scar!
He is literally not coping but he thinks he's doing great. And it breaks my heart that it's all so... Martin-like of him. He cannot have back what he lost and he responds by bottling it and pushing through jovially as if unaffected, and in turn does not register anything as a true threat anymore because in his eyes nothing could be worse than what has already happened. He is all jokes and rowdy hubris and "Hey now, talkin' about sad stuff gets ya nowhere! Forget about it!"
Finn is just living thrill to thrill and clinging to distractions in between (and trying to find someone to fill the hole where Jake was- we saw him taking on Bronwyn as an adventure partner in Obsidian and now TV. but they don't stick. it's never going to be the same.) and we already know from Together Again that he will maintain this behavior until his last breath.
It's fantastic character writing but I am so distraught at the state of my boy.
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hanahanumana · 5 months ago
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From AnaMaria Abramovic on Fb
Paste magazine has done an article about Michael and how underrated he is in Good Omens and I found a transcript since it's behind a paywall. Here's the link if anyone wants to subscribe. 💙
https://www.pastemagazine.com/tv/amazon-prime-video/good-omens-michael-sheen-underrated-performance-explained-streaming
There’s so much to love about Prime Video’s Good Omens. A delightful adaptation of the popular Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett novel of the same name, the series is romantic, thoughtful, hilarious, and heartfelt by turns. The story of the almost-apocalypse and what comes afterward, it wrestles with big concepts like destiny, free will, and forgiveness, all framed through the lens of an unorthodox relationship between an angel and a demon whose love for one another is a key to saving the world.
As anyone who has watched Good Omens already knows, nothing about this series works without the pair of lead performances at its center. Stars David Tennant and Michael Sheen—who play the demon Crowley and the angel Aziraphale, respectively—have the kind of lighting-in-a-bottle chemistry that’s the stuff of legend, and their characters’ every interaction conveys both their deep affection for one another and the Earth they’ve made their home. Their romance is the emotional linchpin around which most of the series turns, and their heartbreaking separation in the Season 2 finale is so devastating precisely because we’ve seen how necessary the two are to each other’s lives.
But it’s Sheen’s performance in that final scene that really twists the knife. As Aziraphale’s face crumples following his and Crowley’s long-awaited kiss, the actor manages to convey what feels like every possible human emotion in the span of less than thirty seconds as the angel realizes what he has both had and just lost. The moment is emotionally brutal to watch, particularly after sitting through five and a half episodes of Aziraphale looking as lovestruck as the lead in any rom-com. Sheen makes it all look effortless, shifting from giddy joy to devastated longing and everything in between, and we really don’t talk enough about how powerful and underrated his work in this series truly is.
Though he’s half of the central duo that makes Good Omens tick, Sheen’s role often tends to get overshadowed by his co-star’s. It’s not difficult to see why, given that Tennant gets to spend most of the show swanning around in tight trousers looking like the Platonic ideal of the charming bad boy, complete with flaming red hair and dramatic eyewear. Tennant also benefits from Crowley’s much more sympathetic emotional arc. I mean, it’s hard not to love a cynical demon with a heart of gold who’s been pining after his angelic best friend for literal millennia even after being cast out from Heaven. Of course, viewers are drawn to that—likely a lot more easily than the story of an angel who’s simply trying the best he can to do the right thing as he wrestles with his role in God’s Ineffable Plan. Plus, let’s be real, Tennant’s sizeable Doctor Who fanbase certainly doesn’t hurt his character’s popularity.
As a performer, Sheen has a long history of playing both real people (Tony Blair, David Frost, Brian Clough) and offbeat villains (Prodigal Son’s Martin Whitly, Underworld’s Lucian, the Twilight Saga’s Aro). In some ways, the role of a fussy, bookish angel is playing more than a bit against type for him—Gaiman himself has said he originally intended for Sheen to be Crowley—but in his capable hands, Aziraphale becomes something much more than a simple avatar for the forces of Good (or even of God, for that matter). With a soft demeanor and a positively blinding smile, Sheen’s take on the character consistently radiates warmth and goodness, even as it contains surprisingly hidden depths. The former guardian of the Eastern Gate of Eden who gifted a fleeing Adam and Eve his flaming sword and befriended the Serpent who caused their Fall, Azirphale isn’t a particularly conventional angel. He enjoys all-too-human indulgences like food and wine, runs a Hoarders-esque bookshop that never seems to sell anything, and spends most of his time making heart eyes at the being that’s meant to be his hereditary adversary.
Given the much more difficult task of playing the literal angel to Tennant’s charming devil, Sheen must find a way to make ideas like goodness and forgiveness as interesting and fun to watch as their darker counterparts. It’s a generally thankless task, but one that Sheen tackles with gusto, particularly in the series’ second season, as Good Omens explores Aziraphale’s slowly evolving idea of what he can and cannot accept in terms of being a soldier of Heaven. His growing understanding that the truth of creation is colored in shades of grey and compromise is often conveyed through little more than Sheen’s deftly shifting expressions and body language.
Our pop culture consistently struggles to portray the idea of goodness as something compelling or worth watching. Explicitly “good” characters, particularly those who are religiously coded, are frequently treated as the butt of some sort of unspoken joke they aren’t in on, used to underline the idea that faith is a form of naivety or that kindness is somehow a weakness. For a lot of people, the entire concept of turning the other cheek is a sucker’s bet, and believing in something greater than oneself, be it a higher power or a sense of purpose, is a waste of time. But Good Omens is a story grounded in the idea that faith, hope, and love—for one another, God, and the entire world—are active verbs. And nowhere is that more apparent than in Sheen’s characterization of the soft angel whose old-fashioned waistcoats mask a spine of steel and who refuses to give up—on Crowley, on humanity, or on the idea that Heaven is still something that can be saved.
Though he and Tennant have pretty much become a matched set at this point (both on and off-screen), Sheen’s performance has rarely gotten the critical accolades it deserves. (Tennant alone was nominated for a BAFTA for Season 2, and Sheen was categorized as a supporting actor when the series’ competed in the 2019 Saturn Awards.) But it is his quiet strength that holds up so much of the rest of the show around him, and Sheen deserves to be more frequently recognized for it. That he makes it look so easy is just another sign of how good his performance really is.
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tiagems · 1 month ago
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Thing that drives me a little bit insane about tma time travel fics is that when s5 Jon and Martin are teleported back to s1, they never act like themselves
S5 Jon has magically learned how to talk to people and s5 Martin sounds so emotionally dead and every time I'm like "they would not fucking say that"
S5 Jon should be manic and terrified, he should be in a lot of pain and depending on if he's connected to the Eye still or not, he should be groggy and vague and not making sense. S5 Martin should be a fucking mess, in the middle of crying, but also able to say with a degree of clarity that he's not here to hurt anyone, he just wants to find Jon, where is Jon
They do get one thing right, and that's if asked s5 Jon would absolutely infodump as much as he can
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mad-scientist-enthusiast · 10 months ago
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Rant about Jedidiah Martin because I'm getting brain worms...
Jedidiah knows love from his upbringing, which is why his favorite game growing up was "playing house." Jedidiah practiced his mother's example of parenthood on his "children;" that being keeping them close by and admiring them, but neglecting them nonetheless. Sydney's comment about the fruit fly really captures this dynamic.
"It hadn't even occurred to him. He'd gotten up every morning and admired that starving animal, throwing itself against the walls of its container. Hadn't even thought to put a little piece of cantaloupe in there. And his beloved fly died hungry, empty, trapped, and alone."
Jedidiah is very dependent on his mother. He still lives with her, he relies on her protection to handle everything he cannot. Despite this, Lucille always keeps him at arms length and never any closer. She has this weirdly detached style of parenting, where she needs Jedidiah close in proximity, but not close emotionally. And Jedidiah mirrors this in his relationship with Sydney.
I think Jedidiah really does love Sydney, however, the only way he knows how to treat Sydney is the way his mother treated him.
He keeps Sydney close, essentially trapping him at the Camp, and admires him from afar. He does a lot to ensure Sydney's physical safety, sure, but this is done so with minimal interaction with him. Sydney is his fruit fly. He loves Sydney, and ultimately does not want Sydney to die, but he is doing nothing to nourish their relationship. I think he almost views Sydney's state of being "alive" as the physical act of living. He is breathing, his body is functioning. But being alive is much more than that. His clinical approach to their relationship is the reason why he doesn't seem to conceptualize how much he's hurt Sydney. And only when he starts to feel hurt by Lucille's treatment of him does he realize he's put Sydney in the same position.
It's almost as if Lucille and Jedidiah don't entirely view the subject of their "love" as a separate, autonomous human being.
It almost reminds me of the like "Teaching STEM without the humanities" memes. Jedidiah has no reference for an emotional connection with other people, so when he wants to be in a relationship with someone, it results in this dynamic we see between him and Sydney.
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cheesecakeluver · 2 months ago
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AT FIRST GLANCE
hamzahthefantastic x reader
ᶻ𐰁 ࣪ °⋆ when you arrive in Toronto, after three years from home, you meet with your close friend Mandy, who has a visitor that you know, at first glance, is bound to be yours.
———————-
As the taxi slows, i find that my stomach turns and churns in excitement. The idea that now, after three years, ill see Mandy again, after being apart for so, so long, enthralls me. We constantly facetimed and messaged after i had to move, for work purposes. Los Angeles was a great city, but once you really got settled and started to understand life there.. it made you miserable. Thankfully, my work as a journalist had moved me back to Toronto, and i could finally see my friends and family.
I retrieve my heavy suitcases from the boot of the car, thanking the driver and sending him away with a twenty dollar bill. I don't think i'll ever get over the price differences between Canada and the USA. I stand outside Mandy's place, which she shared with her boyfriend, Martin. Of course, i'd heard all about him, because as soon as i moved away, they met. She updated me on every date, every exciting occasion, and every detail of their lives together, including his youtube channel, whom he shared with a friend unknown to me, though Mandy constantly called him clingy and annoying, which left me laughing.
I knock on the door, one, twice, and then thrice. I see a figure moving towards the door, and i get excited, recording the whole moment with an old camera. I'd recently started youtube myself, and had had a good amount of luck, my first two videos not exactly blowing up, but doing pretty well for my first time. I see the figure head towards the door, and i shove the camera in front of me, my smile wide, grinning even.
The figure opens the door, and i'm stunned. It was in fact, not Mandy i was met with, who stood at 5,4. No, this was a nearly six foot tall, dark curly haired man, who looked like he'd just gotten out of bed.
"Uh.. who are you?" he mumbled, wiping his dark curls out of his face, pushing his rectangular glasses up on the bridge of his nose, his chocolate brown eyes widening as he stared deadpan at me.
i pull the camera down to my side, revealing my face as my smile drops. i stutter a little, taking a step back. Had i went to the wrong address?
"Does Mandy live here?" i asked nervously, my concern become increasingly evident on my face. I was never good at hiding my emotions.
"Oh, yeah. She said something about someone coming over today. Just didn't mention who." The man said, his eyebrows unfurling as the confusion fled his face, allowing me to view him more. He was attractive, and even i couldn't deny that, as i stared into his dark eyes. The worry wiped off my face as he opened the door wider, allowing me to step into the home, where Mandy was snuggled into Martin's side, a blanket over them on the couch, as i heard the nostalgic theme of 'Gilmore Girls' playing on the tv.
I smile, leaving my bags by the door as i hear Mandy ask whose at the door, until her eyes land across me. She screams, ditching Martins arms and she runs to me, hugging me and jumping with glee spread across her face. I hold her in my arms, happily.
"I've been waiting for you to arrive!" she says, pulling away from the embrace, still smiling so hard i believe it must hurt. "That's Hamzah, by the way, the one who answered the door. He's the one who does the podcast, and youtube with Martin" She explains, babbling on about what the boys did. I listened eagerly, intrigued, as she told me about this podcast, which i'd never known of before. She asks me how i am, knowing how hard Los Angeles hit me, leaving me emotionally drained.
"I'm excited to be back in Toronto, really. I've been wanting to come back ever since i left. Los Angeles was.. alright at first, but god, once you really get settled, and begin actually connecting.." i sigh, drifting off. The people that inhabited Los Angeles, were just not the people i was made for, and oh how glad i was to be back in Toronto. Back home. I look around, impressed at the new house they'd just moved in to, which now looked like a home due to the decorum, as i see dinner bowls lying around.
Martin cleans them up, putting them in the sink and introducing himself. "Sorry, we just ate.. probably should've cleaned that up earlier." he jokes, wrapping an arm around Mandy.
The whole time, the boy i know now as Hamzah had just been by the door, his keys in hand. i came to the conclusion he must have just been heading out when i arrived.
He jingles the keys in his hand, grabbing my attention. He looks a little nervous, his eyes darting around. "I'm gonna head out, it was good meeting you.." he says, finally looking at me, smiling, his hands in his pockets. He lingers on, and i catch the hint he wanted my name.
"Oh, y/n" i smiled, a little flustered as his eyes remained steady on me, a glint in them. I found myself drawn to him, even though this was our first meeting.
Mandy turns to me, Martins arm still wrapped around her. "We were just going out, for ice cream, if you wanted to join us?" she smiles at me, Martins arm rubbing hers and he stared at her, entranced.
I think about it, but ultimately decide against it, as i had ate the shitty food served on the airplane, and felt as though my stomach deserved a break after. That, and i wasn't in the mood to become a third wheel, especially as jet lagged as i was.
"I need to sort through the boxes as well, get my apartment into living conditons, but thank you guys, i appreciate it." i say, thanking the couple in front of me.
"Call me tomorrow though, we'll meet up then?" i ask, and Mandy nods, smiling. "Of course! Im so, so happy your home. Atleast now i've got someone to hang out with when these two are filming. Ooh, and maybe even double dates, and-"
Hamzah coughs loudly, interrupting her, and their eyes land on each other, and something, almost like realisation, hits Mandy.
I look between the pair, an awkward silence filling the room, as the four of us just looked at our feet.
I knew Hamzah had been there a couple of times when i had been facetiming Mandy, as i heard him and Martin in the background, but i never thought anything of it.
I pull my phone out, prepared to call another taxi, and head out of here, as i gather my bags and suitcase by the door.
"Anybody know how much a taxi from here to Parkson street costs?" i ask, breaking the silence
Martin speaks up immediately, as if snapping out of a trance.
"Hamzah, don't you live near Parkson street?" he asks the boy, who averts his gaze from mine, eyes focused now on Martin, as a pink blush cascades over his caramel skin, slightly covered by the messy curls strewn on top of his head.
"Yeah, i live on Parkson street" He replies, and i see Martin wink at him, before he speaks again.
"Oh, okay yeah, do you need a ride?" Hamzah says, eyes on mine as i see his hands fiddle inside of his pockets, causing me to smile.
"Yeah.. thank you. Really, your helping me out a a lot here." i blush slightly as he helps me with a couple of my bags, and our hands brush together, my face heating up, as does his.
"Really, you don't have to-" i say, prepared to take the bag, as he shakes his head in defiance, which leaves me to sigh, smiling as i do.
"I could see you struggling when you first arrived, let me help you" He says, picking the bags i struggled with up easily, impressing me as his biceps bulged whilst doing the action, causing me to stare.
Martin interrupts us, as he begins saying his farewells to Hamzah. I make my way over to Mandy, one last time, knowing ill meet her tomorrow.
"Call me tonight, and tell me everything" she says, with that knowing look in her eye, causing me to softly chuckle as i embrace her again.
We part ways with Mandy and Martin, saying goodbye to the pair as they began to get ready to get dessert. I smile at the couple as i leave with Hamzah, wishing i had the type of relationship they had, watching them laugh and cuddle and kiss. In my dreams i guess.
As Hamzah walks me to his car, we begin small talk. He asks about my life back in Los Angeles, and i tell him about my journalism and my small channel, as he told me of his podcast. He seemed passionate about it, using his hands as he spoke, and all i could do was become entranced by him. I had met this boy less than twenty minutes ago, yet already he had caught me attention, and by the looks of it, i had caught his.
"I originally started the podcast by myself, and did around.. i think thirty or so episodes before Martin joined. Honestly, its much better when your not just speaking by yourself, to a camera." He explained, hooking me in with every word he uttered.
"I guess i can kind of understand. When i film, so far, its always been by myself. My job as well, it gets lonely, because journalism isn't a very.. i don't know.. social type of job. Sure, I sit and write about all the things i love, but sometimes i just wish i had someone to talk to about my interests, instead of people just reading my words via a news outlet, or magazine."
i let out my thoughts, feeling slightly vulnerable when doing so. Hamzah watches me talk, allowing me to explain what's on my mind, and for the first time in a long time, i feel seen.
"Listen, i know we just met, but honestly, i feel like i know you already. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to, even if its just about the stupid stuff." He says, a little shyly, rubbing the back of his neck as he speaks. I find myself walking close beside him, and we continue talking back and forth, all the way to his car.
Once we reach his car, he opens the door for me, and just when i'm strapped in, does he make his way to the drivers side, causing a feeling of warmth to erupt in my stomach.
Getting in, he sets his phone on my lap, smiling. "Since your a guest, i'll trust you to pick something good" he says, as i notice spotify opened infront of me.
It nearly made me melt, as i saw his recent listens. "Men i trust, Freddie Dredd, The maria's.. you have good taste" i smile, seeing some artist that we have in common.
I see him smile warmly, staring at the phone as i type my favourite song in, hoping, no, praying he would like it.
"Bags by Clairo.. you have good taste" He replies, copying me, as the song begins to filter through the car, and i hum lightly to it.
entranced by the music, and the feeling of content flowing through me, i rest my head against the window, taking in autumnal Toronto in all its beauty, realising just how much i had missed this place.
I feel Hamzah's eyes on me, and i turn to him, a grin erupting from me without my consent, as his curls fall into his eyes, and his hands mark the wheel.
We continue the rest of the ride in silence, the only thing heard is Clairo's majestic voice through the speakers, and both of us are okay with that. Upon arriving at Parkson street, i feel a little disappointed, missing Hamzah's banter and voice already, even though we hadn't parted from each other yet. I needed to get a grip on myself.
We get out, still walking close to each other, our arms brushing against one anothers, and begin walking back to our apartments, noticing we both strode in the same direction.
"Hamzah, what apartment number is yours? Not to be a creep or anything.." i joke, seeing his eyes light up.
"I'm 112.. what about you?"
I feel myself smile, pink flushing my cheeks, and not just due to the autumn chill in the air. We stop outside of his apartment, and he sees where my gaze lies, his cheeks flushing as well.
"I'm apartment 113” i say, grinning, our proximity exciting me like nothing before. maybe, just maybe this meant i did have a chance. endless excuses we’re running through my mind, thinking of ways i could interact with him on the daily.
He smiles, walking me to my door and setting the suitcases and bags in my doorstep, his cheeks tinted pink, and his eyes on me the entire time, looking me up and down with ease.
He smiles at me, one last time. "I'll see you around, y/n" he says, walking the two paces to his apartment, next door. My heart fluttered, and the minute i go inside of my new apartment, i jumped on the bare mattress, not caring about the unboxed suitcases and bags, picking up my phone and dialing my best friend.
"Mandy, i think i’m starting to like him."
---------------
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artiststarme · 1 year ago
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Come to Poppa
Based on a prompt sent to me awhile ago from @yaoiprofessoryuki. I'm sorry it took so long but I hope you like it!
~*~*~*~
Steve was never close to his dad, not like a father or son should be. They never played catch in the front yard or camped out in the woods. They certainly never talked about sports or girls. The closest they ever got was performing elementary science experiments at the kitchen table until his mother scolded them both over their own laughter. One day though, everything changed. Out of nowhere, Steve became less of a son and more like a roommate that coexisted in the same house.They lived in the same house and their paths intermittently crossed when they were both in the house at the same time, but their relationship was gone. 
Nevertheless, all Steve wanted after fighting the demogorgons with the kids was to see his dad. He craved the comfort that only a dad could give through all-consuming hugs and emotionally stunted advice. His dad was a scientist, surely he could ask him just what the fuck those monsters were. If anyone could understand, his dad would. 
But after waiting up all night and into the next day, his dad didn’t come home. His secretary didn’t pick up the phone when he called and the hospital had no records of him. His dad was just gone, disappeared just like all the evidence of the demogorgons. Steve’s mom filed a missing persons report with the Sheriff’s office but even their investigations were moot. It was like his dad fell off the face of the earth. 
***
After their 1984 encounter and getting the absolute shit kicked out of him by Billy, the kids start hanging out at his house. His mom had taken to leaving for weeks at a time at the drop of a hat to avoid thinking about his father and Steve was climbing the walls in order to escape some of the oppressive loneliness that the house seemed to ooze. He thought the kids would find it fun to have a big house to themselves to make a mess in and just be kids away from the responsibilities of the Upside Down. He was wrong. 
Eleven froze as soon as the door swung shut behind her, her eyes on the family portrait that hung in the living room. In it was a sixteen year old Steve, his mother in her nicest dress, and his graying dad. It was one of the last pictures that they all looked happy in. But Eleven wasn’t looking at the picture in happiness or curiosity, she was looking at it in horror.
“El? What’s wrong, what’s going on?” Mike stood between her and the photo, his hand comfortingly rested on her shoulder.
All the kids surrounded her and Steve just followed her gaze and looked at her in confusion. When Dustin saw him looking back and forth, he snuck a peek before his eyes widened in sudden realization. “Holy shit, guys! Look at the picture! Steve, how the hell do you know Dr. Brenner?”
Steve’s eyes scrunched in confusion, “what? I don’t know a Dr. Brenner.”
“There’s a picture of the two of you right there!” Lucas flailed his arm towards another picture of the two of them in black suits at his cousin’s wedding. 
“And right there,” Max added, pointing at a picture of Steve holding a report card with straight A’s and his dad beaming with pride to his left.
“That’s not Dr. Brenner, that’s my dad. Martin Harrington, not a Brenner,” he said while rolling his eyes in exasperation. The imagination of these kids was going to make him lose his mind one day. 
“No, papa.”
“Eleven, that’s not the man that hurt you. That’s my dad. He was boring and dorky, he wouldn’t hurt anyone.”
“Papa!”
“I think she would know who experimented on her for years,” Lucas said, rolling his eyes. 
“Not if she thinks it's my dad!” Steve was really reaching his limits. He’d just wanted the kids to have fun for a day, he hadn’t expected slander against his dad. 
“What if it's the same person? Your dad and Dr. Brenner,” Dustin pondered. 
Steve just shook his head. “There’s no way, my dad worked at the Department of Energy for the government. He ran research experiments on electricity and water and shit. He never worked with kids!” 
“The Department of Energy was just a cover up for the experiments on kids!” Mike screamed.
That was the last line for El. As soon as Mike raised his voice, she flinched and threw the family portrait to the ground with a flick of her wrist. The frame splintered and the glass shattered upon contact with the fireplace tile. Most disturbingly to Steve though was the long tear in the photo separating his dad from him and his mom. An unfortunately positioned shard of glass had separated his dad from his family in the portrait just as an unknown force had in reality. 
“Hey! That’s one of the last pictures I have of him! He disappeared last year and you just ruined our last picture together. Fuck Eleven, he’s not your papa.” Steve dropped to his knees next to the broken frame without regard for the glass and fretted his hands over the portrait. 
“He’s a monster!” El yelled, an accusing finger pointed directly at the ruined canvas in his hands. All of the pictures on the walls fell to the floor with a deafening crash. In a single moment, all remnants of his dad were erased from the living room. 
“No! You’re ruining everything, stop! My dad was just a nerd that loved science. He might’ve been a little strict about grades but other than that, he’s a good guy!”
“Steve, we are telling you that that is Dr. Brenner. I don’t know why he has a different name at work or why you don’t know what he did at work but it is him. We met him last year and he’s missing because… Well, we’re pretty sure El killed him or at least really hurt him. That’s why he didn’t come back.” Dustin delivered the news as gently as possible but his words still registered like a knife in the back. 
“What.”
Suddenly, Steve saw everything differently. The missed basketball games, the unexplained absences and late nights at work, the weird interest in his experiments. It felt like the loving dad that he grew up with was a stranger he never knew at all. The kids didn’t seem to notice his shock or the fact that they had just ruined his life. They continued arguing amongst themselves until Steve tuned back in. 
“What if Steve knew about it? For all we know, he could've had a part in it! Maybe that’s why he wanted to join the Party. He could be reporting back to Dr. Brenner right now!” Mike ranted. Jesus Christ, Steve hated that kid.
“You really think Steve had something to do with it? I’m pretty sure he’s failing at least three classes right now. There is no way someone would use him as an accomplice in a conspiracy this big,” Dustin shook his head and sent a wink at Steve as if he was defending him. But Steve didn’t take it that way. 
They knew about his dad’s disappearance and were now insulting him? Fucking shit, he’d risked everything for these kids; his reputation, his old friends, his relationship with Nancy, his life! And they still doubted him and saw him as an idiot. They saw him as a traitor that would work as an accomplice to torture other kids. Fuck it. 
“Get out.”
“Steve, Mike didn’t mean-”
He cut Lucas off with a glare. “Get out! I don’t want you here. Just get out!”
They all walked out with varying degrees of guilt until Steve was left alone with nothing to do but look at the ruined family portrait with its shards of broken glass and cry about the injustice of it all.
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sapphic-agent · 1 year ago
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Why is Simon able to see Maddie?
I've been thinking about it for a while, and I think I might have an answer.
*SPOILERS AHEAD*
Let's start with what I don't think it is. I'm 99% sure that it's not because Simon's dying. There's speculation that he has a tumor or undiagnosed cancer causing him to slowly die and that's why he's able to see Maddie. But I have two issues with that:
Why is he only able to see Maddie? If him approaching death is what enables him to see and talk with a ghost, why is that only extended to one ghost? At the very least, wouldn't he have some kind of connection with the other ghosts? Maybe if not outright seeing them, then sensing their presence or something? But he's never given any indication they're there, we've seen that. If he was dying, he'd have a connection to the entire metaphysical plane, not just Maddie.
Why does he only start seeing her at that exact moment in season 1? If he was dying, wouldn't it have been sooner? Maddie was "dead" for three days before Simon saw her. And it was only at this specific time that he was able to do so.
What this tells me is that this isn't possible because of anything from Simon's end. Or, not completely from his end.
To answer this question, we need to look at the only other instance of a living person and ghost interacting. What enabled Maddie to see Janet and Mr. Martin arguing? What allowed Janet to steal Maddie's body in the first place?
I think it's a combination of things. Mr. Martin says to Janet, "What did you feel? You have to tell me." This implies that she did something that was completely unexpected by him. We don't know what it was exactly, but we can assume that it has to do with blurring the lines between life and death even if it was just a little. But I don't think it was just this that allowed Maddie to see her and Mr. Martin.
When Maddie describes her altercation with her mother to Simon, she says very deliberately, "She killed my spirit." Maddie wasn't just feeling upset in that boiler, she was broken. A lifetime of being battered down by her mother's alcoholism and negligence and this was the final straw. She wasn't physically dead at that point, but emotionally she might as well have been.
I think that these two things happening at the same time created a sort of passageway between Maddie and the metaphysical plane. The hollowness Maddie was feeling coincided with whatever Janet had done to blur those lines, and that's how Janet was able to push her soul out.
Now, if I'm right about all of that, what does that have to do with Simon?
Well, remember what Simon said to Ms. Fields, "I don't know how I'm going to survive this place without her." It's important to remember that Simon had a feeling she was dead, or at the very least seriously hurt/in trouble. He accepted the possibility of her being gone as fact, which is why he never questions her being a ghost. It isn't such a stretch to assume that he was feeling the same hollowness that Maddie was concerning her mother.
(This also answers why he was the only one. Sandra and Nicole still believed Maddie was alive, they weren't broken in the way that Simon was. And when Sandra did receive the news that there was a good chance Maddie was dead, she was at home, not the school. So her and Maddie wouldn't have been able to connect the way her and Simon did. Also, Maddie's relationship with her mother is very complicated. They don't have anything close to the bond that her and Simon do)
But like I said above, the connection has to be on both sides. Not only did Maddie watch him have this breakdown and was probably feeling similarly to him in that moment, she also had a tether to the living world; her body. So, the combination of their emotional bond, Simon's emptiness when faced with a world without her, and Maddie still technically being alive allowed them to connect past the limitations of death
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beescribblz · 3 months ago
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—Kinda vague TMA spoilers??—
Someone needs to do a Jonmartin animatic of the one part of Skyfall.
Y’know the “Where you go I go, what you see I see,” part. It literally overlaps with what Martin says to Jon in MAG200.
I know it would emotionally ruin me but it would hurt so good.
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blenselche · 4 months ago
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Why do you ship finn/fern? I want to know what you see in it. You don't have to answer if you don't want to, I think rare ships and why people like them are interesting.
how can i not when the show literally
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ok but forreal, this is long so I'm throwing it under a cut, my fern brainworm really got away from me here...
Finn and Fern's story at its most bare bones is: someone incredibly damaged by abandonment is torn in half and those halves abandon each other. Fern does it literally, Finn more so emotionally. Only when it's too late does one half try to rectify the situation, showing unending patience and unconditional love and being met with vitriol and avoidance. And then... acceptance, and with that acceptance is the ultimate abandonment: death. Tragic, hurts just right. Add onto that-- their relationship references The Green Knight and the Narcissus Myth. The Narcissus myth comes through loudly in CAWM especially. My fav of Ovid's Metamorphoses and all Greek mythology, so that's def a factor. My dad said I cried when he read it to me for the first time lmao.
I don't ship them during/in canon. In canon all I can see is something nebulous and one sided, and we don't need to read into subtext for that, we can just appreciate the show as it's written: Finn helps create this person that 100% gets him after being the odd one out his whole life, Fern's existence even soothes his abandonment issues with a curse that binds them together forever, but he clings too close and doesn't give Fern space, reminding him of how he falls short. Ultimately this want to be "even closer" (very smooth, Finn) is what drives them apart. It's good where it is, it's a great starting point for shipping.
Where I ship them is past canon, blowing subtext up into large print font to pull Fern out of plot device hell into his own character, piggy backing off what we know about the grass demon.
The grass demon/blade was not made to serve the powers of good, but it actively changes/curbs its behavior for the approval of its hero wielder. It helps Finn with anything that deeply emotionally moves him (holding on to Martin, building the tower) keeps him out of unneeded conflict (refusing to attack the vamp king) helps impress his romantic interest (flute spell) it even reverses his arm nullification twice. The grass demon keeps him safe but it goes above and beyond its purpose for Finn's happiness. It reluctantly joins the fight against Bandit Princess because that sword is still Finn, and when its blade pierces/breaks the quillion it even cocoons the Finn Sword's essence safely away. Though, no matter how much good it might do it is still a demon. It has no morals, and doesn't understand them, all it cares about is Finn's safety and well being. When one of Finn's loved ones hurts him it doesn't hesitate to protect him, but (of course) Finn retaliates-- and so it creates a Finn of its own, one that won't hurt it for trying to keep him safe and happy. (OOPS! that backfired.) I love the grass demon, I love what we can glean about it because of its actions through the show and what that could mean for Fern and Fern's feelings surrounding Finn. This is the foundations of the ship to me.
I like to ship them when Fern remembers all of this/what he is (a demon that basically consumed half of Finn's soul), has accepted himself and has integrated his two ego states. We don't need to do any legwork on Finn's end. Dude's already weird enough about Fern canonically, but I do like to build his guilt up until he's a mess on the floor, crying over his past mistake of assuming Fern needed saving in the first place (the thing that leads Finn to ignorantly prompting/assisting in his suicide), haunted by the words of Fern's time echo from the The Beginning of The End comic, never truly being able to trust if he's actually helping someone again.
I like to play in that space of au/hc: a demon and the man he's bound to/he shares a soul with who loves him unconditionally, reunited somehow (a wish, diverging from canon, Penelope and Fern's next incarnation finding one another, etc) and coming to terms with the baggage of all the shit they inflicted on one another. Then maybe Fern can finally hear Finn out without the cloud of festering insecurity when he tells him again how he'd still like to be "even closer".
At its simplest I like finn/fern because I love Fern, and finally accepting and seeing Finn as a completely different person (enough to engage in a relationship, whether sexual/romantic/queer platonic/something that no label fits because of what they are, whatever) speaks to an ultimate form of self actualization, and Fern really deserves to feel that level of "himself" imo.
Hope that was adequately interesting.
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multifandomfix · 2 months ago
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Jude Martin Angst Alphabet
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A = Anger (what are they like when they’re angry?)
Sister Jude’s anger is intense and unrelenting. She has a sharp tongue and isn’t afraid to raise her voice or use stern words to make her point. Her fury can be intimidating, but it often comes from a place of deep hurt or frustration.
B = Break Up (if they had to, how would they break up with you?)
Sister Jude would maintain control of her emotions, keeping the conversation direct. She would likely explain her reasoning firmly, perhaps even trying to convince herself it’s for the best, but she’d struggle deeply afterward.
C = Cry (how often do they cry? do they cry over little things?)
Jude rarely cries openly, but when she does, it’s over things that strike her deeply, such as moments of personal failure or losing someone close to her. She tries to hold back her tears, seeing them as a weakness, but in private, she may let herself break down.
D = Debt (how do they make it up to you when they’ve done something wrong?)
Jude is deeply remorseful when she knows she’s hurt you. She’ll seek to make amends through actions, perhaps by doing something thoughtful or going out of her way to prove her sincerity. Apologies don’t come easily to her, but when you get them, you know they’re heartfelt.
E = Entrapment (how would they react to you being kidnapped?)
Sister Jude would be consumed with guilt and rage. She’d do everything in her power to help get you back, channeling her anger and fear into action. She’d move heaven and earth to find you, praying fervently for your safety while working to ensure your return.
F = Fear (how badly do they fear losing you? do they fear for you somehow losing them?)
Jude has an intense fear of loss. She worries constantly about losing you, whether through circumstances beyond her control or by driving you away. However, she keeps much of this fear bottled up.
G = Grief (if you were to die, how would they react?)
If you were to die, Sister Jude would be devastated. She’d retreat into herself, blaming herself for not protecting you. Her grief would manifest as anger, guilt, and sorrow, and she’d likely turn to prayer, though it would feel hollow without you.
H = Health (how are they at taking care of themselves?)
Jude often neglects her own health, prioritizing her work or other people over herself. She resorts to her vices of drinking and smoking, and she doesn’t handle stress well, which takes a toll on her physical and mental health.
I = Insensitive (how do they act when they know they’ve said something that upset you?)
If Jude realizes she’s upset you, she’ll initially act defensive, unwilling to admit fault. However, once she calms down and reflects, she’ll feel guilty and try to make it right, though her pride might keep her from directly apologizing at first.
J = Jerk (when can they tell you’re mad at them? do either of you resort to name calling?)
Jude can tell you’re mad by your tone or body language, and she doesn’t take it lightly. She might initially react with stubbornness or sharp words, but she doesn’t resort to name calling unless the argument is particularly heated.
K = Knife (how do they feel about hurting others? physically or emotionally?)
Jude usually regrets causing harm, especially if she lashes out in the moment. She carries guilt for her past actions, and though she can be harsh, it pains her to see the damage she’s done once the heat of the moment passes.
L = Liar (are they a good liar? how often do they lie to you?)
Jude is a skilled liar when she needs to be, but she hates lying to people she loves. If she does lie to you, it’s likely to protect you or hide her vulnerabilities, and she’d feel tremendous guilt about it.
M = Maudlin (how do you cheer them up when they’re feeling sad?)
When Jude is sad, sitting with her, offering words of encouragement, or showing her she’s not alone goes a long way in lifting her spirits.
N = Never (what would they do if they knew they could never be with you?)
If Jude knew she could never be with you, she’d try to push you away for your own good, masking her heartbreak behind a facade of indifference. But in private, she’d hold onto the memory of you in her quiet moments.
O = Oath (what happens when you break a promise? how do they take it?)
Broken promises cut Jude deeply. She values trust and loyalty, so she’d feel hurt and betrayed. While she might lash out initially, she’d eventually withdraw, guarding herself against further disappointment.
P = Pressure (how do they handle stress? how do you help them relax?)
Jude doesn’t handle stress well, often turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms like alcohol. You can help her relax by encouraging her to talk about her feelings, taking her away from stressful environments, or helping her find healthier outlets, of which she’ll initially be averse to, but she’ll work on her issues for you.
Q = Quiet (do they ever give you the silent treatment? how do they react when you give it to them?)
Jude may give you the silent treatment if she’s hurt or angry, using it as a way to process her emotions. If you give her the silent treatment, she’ll grow frustrated and defensive, demanding to know what’s wrong and pushing for a resolution.
R = Rejection (how would they take it if you were to reject them?)
Rejection would crush Jude. She’d likely mask her pain with anger or bitterness, retreating into herself and convincing herself she never deserved you in the first place.
S = Self Doubt (what are they insecure about?)
Jude is deeply insecure about her past mistakes and fears she’s unworthy of love or redemption. These insecurities often manifest in her relationships, making her question if she’s good enough for you.
T = Triangle (what would they do if they were caught in a love triangle with you? would they fight for you or give you up?)
Jude would fight for you, though she’d hate herself for it. She wouldn’t back down easily, but if she felt you’d be happier with someone else, she might reluctantly let you go in the end.
U = Unloved (what would you do to make sure they felt loved?)
To make Jude feel loved, you’d need to show her unwavering support and patience. Small acts of kindness, affirming words, and being there for her during her lowest moments would help her feel secure in your love.
V = Vault (do they keep their emotions sealed tight, or do they let them out openly?)
Jude keeps most of her emotions sealed tight, viewing vulnerability as a weakness. However, in rare moments of trust, she might let her guard down and share her true feelings.
W = Wound (how do they react when you’ve been injured?)
Jude would be frantic and guilt-ridden if you were injured. She’d blame herself for not protecting you and would hover, determined to ensure you’re cared for.
X = X Lovers (what happens when they’re confronted with an ex of yours?)
Jude would act outwardly composed but would feel a surge of jealousy and insecurity. She might make a snide comment or two but would ultimately trust you to reassure her.
Y = Yell (how often do fights occur? how bad do they get?)
Fights with Jude can be frequent, as she’s headstrong and emotionally charged. They can get intense, with raised voices and sharp words, but she cools down eventually and tries to make amends.
Z = Zestless (what happens if you lose that initial spark with them?)
If the spark faded, Jude would try to reignite it. She’d fight to keep the connection alive, but she’d also struggle with self doubt, wondering if she’s the problem.
For anon
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lyledebeast · 2 months ago
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"Cowardice" in The Patriot
For a film in which women and children do so much heavy lifting to humanize men, The Patriot sure heaps contempt on men who prioritize protecting women and children over engaging in political violence. The earliest example of this comes when Gabriel Martin accuses his father of hiding behind his children when he refuses to vote in favor of South Carolina joining in rebellion against the crown, and indeed this is the one choice for which Benjamin Martin is ever made to atone. Another character strongly implied to be a coward for attempting to protect the defenseless is the nameless man who gives Colonel Tavington details about the militia's home base. He is taking Tavington up on his offer to spare those guilty of treason in exchange for such information, and he means more than just himself. When Tavington orders the doors of the church shut, the man rushes forward to say, "But you said we'd be forgiven," not "I'd be forgiven."
The charge of cowardice in this man's case is inaccurate as well as unjust. Everyone in the congregation is scared. They know who Tavington is. They respond to him riding his horse into the nave in the same way the Whos down in Whoville respond to the Grinch launching himself into the Holiday Cheermeister ceremony in How the Grinch Stole Christmas later the same year. This man has to overcome that fear in order to speak out, but there is an additional fear he must face down that is exclusive to him. Even if Tavington had spared the congregation owing to his information, this man would likely still have been reviled for giving up the men this congregation is supporting. In a best-case scenario, he is sacrificing his good name in the community.
This scene sets up a clear contrast between two men in this congregation: this man and Peter Howard, father to Anne and now father-in-law to Gabriel. The first point of contrast is visual. The nameless man is fairly young and apparently able-bodied. Howard is significantly older and, as he points out in his first scene while making a speech before the Charlestown Assembly begins, lost a leg fighting for King George in the French and Indian War: "And now he cuts off my other leg with his taxes!" The contrast the narrative most clearly highlights is between the Patriot and the traitor, but an equally valid one may be made between the man most guilty of Tavington's charges and the man least guilty. Despite claiming to be crippled by the king's taxes as much as by his war wound, Howard is nearly single-handedly keeping the militia afloat; we never hear of them getting supplies from anyone else. The man who gives up Martin is guilty of nothing except keeping his secrets until now, which is guilty enough from Tavington's perspective. Tavington is an asshole. This is not news.
I believe Tavington would have burned the church with all its occupants inside regardless of the information they gave up or withheld, but this is not a senseless act of cruelty. Tavington knows killing these people will hurt the militia, and not just emotionally. Even without warning from Martin--and I will never understand how he failed to warn them at Anne and Gabriel's wedding--they should have known it was game over when the Butcher arrived in their nave. But Howard does not give himself up, nor does he plead with Tavington for leniency. He just stares defiantly and calls the nameless man a fool for breaking the silence. A moment that always makes me laugh, bitterly and unintendedly, comes when smoke appears from underneath the locked door and Howard orders the panicking parishioners to "Remain calm." You made this choice for yourself and everyone else, Mr. Howard. Sit all the way down.
In contrast, the nameless man chooses to give up Howard and Martin for the sake of protecting women and children who lack the power to make any choice at all. He does what Martin promised and then failed to deliver for his own children at the very first test. His refusal to protect men who have done nothing to protect their own families and neighbors carries its own kind of defiance. If this man is a coward, then maybe cowardice is something the world needs more of.
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l5byrinth · 2 years ago
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Remedie
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pairing: chad meeks martin x reader
summary: in which chad is the only one who can make you feel better no matter how you’re feeling.
warning: mentions of sh!, fluff, lmk if i should add more
requested!!
a/n: you are all so worth it. every single one of you. please remember that <3 also if you ever get triggered by the warnings i gave please don’t read this :(
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The nightmares and thoughts still haunted you till this day. The masked killer stabbing you severely was all you could think about. Losing your loved ones had emotionally scarred you. And the guilt of surviving didn’t help either.
The events in woodsboro had effected you more than you would show. Way more.
Ever since you were little, Chad would always be the one to cheer you up whenever something happened. Scraped your knee when falling of the bike? Chad helped you. Your first boyfriend broke up with you? He was there to comfort you.
But he was hurting because of the events too. You didn’t want to be a burden for him with your problems.
So you had found a way to cope with everything. A not so healthy way. Every time someone asked you about the scars, you told them it was from the attacks. But as the scars grew fresher and bigger you knew it wasn’t a good as an excuse as it was before.
You had tried your best, tried everything you could. And finally your way of coping had slowly faded away after you had moved to New York. It was terrifying, sure. But you had the people you loved by your side. Nothing could go wrong.
Right?
Turns out it could. Ever since that day. That day when you were watching the news when hanging out with Chad, the guilt and trauma came back.
You started going back to your old ways.
Nobody noticed it. But Chad could see you slowly fade away. You became less happy, less talkative than you usually were. And it killed him that he didn’t know what was going on.
It killed him his best friend wouldn’t tell him anything.
You took any excuse you could to go to the bathroom or a room whenever your anxiousness and guilt got bad again. And you started hurting.
It wasn’t healthy and you knew it. It wasn’t good and you knew it. But there was nothing you could do about it. Nothing you could change about the way you handled things. And you most specifically didn’t want anyone else to know. And no one did.
Well, until today.
The entire group, including you, were at Sam’s appartement. She wanted everyone to be together, so if any one of you were going to get attacked, you wouldn’t be on your own.
You were watching the news, hoping that nothing had happened. It made you more anxious than it should’ve. Your leg was nervously bouncing up and down, while you were sitting next to Chad.
Chad noticed your anxiety. The way your hands were on your thighs as if you were protecting them.
“Y/n.” He put his hand on your thigh, with a comforting smile on his face. You turned your head to look at him, your eyes softening when meeting his.
“It’s okay. I’m here.” He said, his eyes trying to find some answer in yours. Your leg stopped bouncing and your anxiety faded away, but not entirely. You nodded, your lips curling into a smile.
“Thank you.” You whispered, afraid that if you were speaking louder, tears would escape your eyes. “Guys, dinner is ready!” Sam called from the kitchen.
Chad got up and held out his hand to help you up. But you didn’t move, you didn’t even look at him. A memory flashed before you, almost as if you were reliving it. Your mother had said that exact phrase that night. That night your entire family was murdered. All of them except for you.
Your eyes were heavily fixated on your thighs and arms, the urge growing and growing. “Y/n?” Chad questioned, worry lacing his voice. “I- uhm… I gotta go the bathroom.” You muttered, not daring to look him in his eyes. Because if you did, you wouldn’t go to another room. You would go wherever he would take you.
You had developed a soft spot, alongside with a big tiny crush, for him throughout the years. You wanted to be strong, wanted to not be a burden. But whenever you were with him, it’s like you had to tell him all your worries.
His beautiful eyes never failed to make you feel safe. But you didn’t want that right now. The urge to hurt was too bad. Without even waiting for his reply, you got up and made your way to Sam’s bedroom.
You closed the door, so eagerly wanting to hurt, that you forgot to lock the door. You took of your sweater, wincing in pain when the fabric brushed against your scars. You did the same with your jeans.
A mirror had caught your attention and you looked at it. Thoughts and flashbacks raced through your head.
You hadn’t realised how many minutes had past, when you heard the door open slightly. Chad’s head peeked out with his eyes closed. You could see him through the mirror and panicked, yelling his name.
You grabbed your sweater quickly as he apologised repeatedly.
“Y/n, I was getting worried and I-” He opened his eyes as you were just putting on your pants. He noticed the scars on your arms and thighs, which made his heart shatter into a million pieces.
He had seen them before a long, long time ago. When you had told him it were just from the attacks.
But he realised now it wasn’t from the attacks, it was because of the attacks. And you were doing it to yourself.
Embarrassment took over you as he was still staring at you, his usual sparkly eyes seeming heartbroken.
“Y/n…” He started, but you didn’t let him finish. “It’s nothing, Chad. Why did you even come in here?” You questioned, your lip quivering slightly.
He got in and closed the door behind him. Something you wished he hadn’t done. “Y/n, please, I want you to tell me when something is wrong… I’m worried about you.”
“It’s none of your business, Chad.” You answered, wrapping your arms around yourself for comfort. He didn’t have to say anything, but you could see in his eyes that he was disappointed in you. It was what you thought you saw at least.
In reality, he was disappointed in himself for not noticing that you were hurting sooner. Disappointed in himself for not noticing you were hurting yourself.
With the thought of him fearing you and hating you, all of the feelings and thoughts you had bottled up, came out .
“You really want to know what’s going on, Chad? I have been hurting myself. Every chance I get, I hurt.” You yelled, showing your arm full with scars.
“I could’ve done something, Chad. I could’ve saved them. I am a coward. A hurting, piece of shit coward!” Tears were streaming down your face as you ranted. You were breathing heavily, the emotions rushing through your veins. You weren’t thinking straight.
“I shouldn’t even be here right now. I don’t deserve it. Not after what what happened to them. I- I c-could’ve…”
It became too much for you. Admitting to hurting yourself impacted you more than you thought it did. You plopped on the bed and rested you head in your hands as you cried. Not caring about what Chad was thinking anymore.
Chad walked over to you and grabbed your arm gently. To your surprise, his fingers were scanning the scars, caressing them every so often. Your head perked up at this, your heartbeat increasing at his touch.
He planted a kiss as light as a feather on one of them, his eyes meeting yours in the process. Heat crept up your cheeks, the rant and embarrassment long forgotten.
He spoke to you in between kisses, “Y/n, I’m here for you.” Another kiss. “I will be here no matter what.” And another. “I care for you.” Another. “And I want you to be safe.”
He grabbed your other arm, caressing the scars gently. He wished he could’ve prevented from anything bad happening to you. And he wished he noticed your state sooner. Another kiss was planted against a scar.
Your heart was beating out of your chest. His kisses and gentle touches bringing you more comfort than you could’ve ever imagined.
It was as if his kisses helped you heal.
“Chad…” The proper sentence you wanted to say, couldn’t leave your mouth when he planted more kisses.
His gaze flickered to your face as he pulled away. You were only now aware close proximity between the two of you, your heart thumping out of your chest pathetically.
“You want me to stop?” Worry was lacing his voice as he said this. He didn’t want to go past your boundaries or even scare you off. You shook your head, a simple “No.” leaving your mouth.
You didn’t know what was coming over you. He comforted you in a way no one could. In a way no one did. Your hands made their way to his cheeks, cupping them ever so gently.
While you leaned in closer, you swore you heard him take in a sharp breath. The closer you were the more your heart beat sped up.
Your lips brushed against one another, both of you longing for this moment for as long as you could remember.
Before you knew it his lips were attached to yours, fitting against each other perfectly like puzzle pieces. The kiss was gentle and soft, both of you trying not to put in all the passion you were holding back all this time.
But your passion took ahold of you, your kiss getting more and more passionate by the second. You backed away for air, a smile making its way to both of your faces. He planted kisses on your collarbone, made his way down your neck and arm.
A giggle left your lips as he left gentle kisses on your scars once more. His smile widened at the sound, loving that he had cheered you up.
It was like his kisses and his comforting words helped you heal. Like he helped you heal.
He was what you could say, your remedie.
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martincrushcameback · 4 days ago
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In the hybrid au did Martin ever manage to escape his captor? And did he actually attack Chris?
Martin does manage to escape, his response for attack was mostly to drive Chris away and he stops himself before he can hurt him. People can't control the cats, or at least they think that the dog hybrids are easier to control. I imagine Chris is hurt emotionally by this, but the guilt Martin feels would be obvious and he'd push Chris away. Just get out of here before they hurt you too sort of deal. Chris would go back to Aviva and the others and find a way to break him out.
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wisteria-tarot · 1 month ago
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how is Kate Martin in bed? what does she likes? and is she possessive/ overbearing in relationships ?
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Disclaimer: This reading is only for entertainment. Take it with a grain of salt. These are my personal interpretations of the cards with a sprinkle of intuition. Tarot is not set in stone it is not the end all be all of someones life.
How is she in bed?
5 of wands, 5 of cups, queen of wands, the magician:
She might like a bit of competition or could enjoy the thrill of engaging in a bit of "struggle" or pursuit within the relationship, possibly preferring a partner who is equally active or assertive. She could tend to bring emotional baggage into the bedroom, possibly lingering on past disappointments or unfulfilled desires. This could also mean that she seeks emotional connection to some degree but might struggle with fully letting go of past emotional wounds during intimate moments. She enjoys being in control or at least sharing the experience with a partner who can match her intensity. she is inventive and confident in her sexual experiences, likely enjoying a sense of control or mastery in the bedroom. She may like to try new things, experiment, and engage in creative, playful, or even transformative experiences.
What does she like in bed?
3 of wands (rx), 10 of wands, 7 of pentacles, ace of pentacles:
She might like to be in the moment but dislikes feeling pressured or overwhelmed by expectations. She might like a partner who is able to help her relax and release tension, either by offering comfort or by taking on a more dominant role in the bedroom, allowing her to let go of responsibilities. She might like a more deliberate, thoughtful approach to intimacy, where attention to detail and mutual satisfaction are key. she enjoys a physical experience that is satisfying and fulfilling, possibly preferring someone who brings a sense of steadiness and reliability to the relationship. She might also enjoy moments where new, practical forms of connection or novelty are introduced in a way that enhances comfort and trust.
What is she like in relationships?
2 of swords, the star (rx), 7 of pentacles, 3 of wands (rx):
She might have difficulty confronting tough issues head-on, sometimes opting to block out or avoid emotional challenges. This could manifest as a reluctance to make decisions, leading to confusion or delayed action in the relationship. She might have experienced hurt or disappointment in the past, and this could impact her ability to fully trust or be open in relationships. She may be the type who is willing to invest emotionally and practically in a relationship, but she will also want to see tangible results for her efforts. If things feel stagnant or like they aren’t progressing, she might reassess and question whether she wants to continue investing. She might not always feel confident in the direction of her relationships, and uncertainty could cause her to feel a lack of progress or growth.
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