#emmi's life

[emmi-kat]

Reblog with what languages.

[emmikatjohnson]

Hey, all! Just stopping by real quick to let you know that I'm still kicking! It's just been a very busy summer for lil ol' me with my chronic fatigue and other health issues, so logging in was not on the top of my list of priorities.

That being said, it was a good summer. I sold at a lot of markets, and even 2 renaissance festivals!

I'm working on getting some new things available on my site, so stay tuned for that announcement!

The biggest thing I worked on this summer was contributing to the Bumblewood Thicket Fairy Village in Bozeman, Montana

It took me nearly 4 months of literal blood, sweat, and tears to construct The Sugar Pine Bakery.

Somewhat a behemoth as far as fairy houses go, it's over 2 ft tall and has lots of details inside and out that I'll show you in another post.

The Sugar Pine Bakery was on display in Bumblewood Thicket from August 30th through yesterday, September 22nd. You can see more of it, and all other houses in the 2024 Bumblewood Thicket village now here. And if you happen to be in the Gallatin Valley, you have the opportunity to bid on one of these homes to support the artists and the organization that made this all possible, Random Acts of Silliness. That link is here.

I hope you've all been well! Talk to you soon!

[emmi-kat]

Cursed, even.

blood test came back haunted

[emmi-kat]

I work in a bakery and today I took an order for 10 5-inch monster cakes for a Halloween cake walk next week, but "no skulls" because they are a "Christian" school.

I genuinely looked at this woman in bafflement and said "but we all have skulls".

"No skulls." She reiterated. No other restrictions.

I told the decorator to make some devil cakes. No skulls.

[emmikatjohnson]

Hey, Y'all!

Just an update on what I'm up to atm.

I'm still unable to work since having Covid last fall. My fatigue continues but it seems like I keep developing new mystery ailments that are evading diagnosis and don't seem to be affected by medication. I'd like to keep trying to solve them so I can get my life back but, as I'm sure you can imagine, specialists and procedures and medication are expensive, especially for someone who can't work. Which leads me to my next point:

I've just released new art and jewelry in my shop!

I've got handmade jewelry, new curiosities, a new birthday card design, and everything that I previously had, as well! Go check it out!

Your support means the most to small artists like me just trying to survive. I appreciate you so much!

If, for some reason, you want to support me but don't want to buy something from me, my tip jar on ko-fi is available, and I have set a goal to just help me cover my and my pets' costs of living.

Remember, Reblogs>Likes and ALWAYS spay and neuter your politicians!

Thank you!

[timethehobo]

Just a ball of curiosity and a threat to no one.

[emmi-kat]

it's called "my bones hurt"

hey all my peeps from northern climates you know how sometimes ya look outside and it just like has this Look and you just Know it’s cold out like there’s no obvious signs no ice no snow you just KNOW it’s cold because you’ve lived here long enough that u look at the sky and you’re like ‘it’s cold’ how fucked up is that

[emmi-kat]

Dreamt that the silly little guy who died of dysentery was my gastroenterologist who was addressing my internal bleeding.

He actually seemed very professional. I trusted him.

[emmikatjohnson]

And that's as far as I got before the sleepy sleep demon that is post-viral fatigue caught up with me. Besides, making comics about fighting cricut design space isn't that entertaining. Nor is reading them, I'd imagine.

[newttxt]

launching a rescue mission!

from utilities included, ch. 8

masterpost

[emmi-kat]

It was like 18 years before I saw the guest bed at my grandma's house without the mattress pad on it. It was, in fact, the bed my grandfather had died in the day after my first birthday. And it had the stains to prove it.

I don't know that I've ever slept better than in that bed, too.

Mattresses, unbeknownst to many, are a lot like cars. Every year new ones roll out, they’re always tweaking and innovating and you’ll never find the same one you loved decades ago when buying a new one.

Where I sold mattresses had a three month return or exchange program for this reason. New beds take a while to break in, and they’re a big expense. Your body is used to the old one. So we made sure people were loving it. If a bed got returned we’d take it back, sanitize and clean it, then sell it again on clearance.

To sell these we always had to disclose what clearance meant to customers, and they had to sign that they knew what they were getting. (FYI, not every company is as… forthright about the used bed situation)

In clearance we had beds that were floor models, we had returns, and more rarely we had old models whose line had been discontinued. These clearance beds were always final sale, so a bed could only be sold twice.

Now, the manager at the store I was working at had realized a vital fact. Clearance beds in the warehouse didn’t sell, especially old models that salespeople weren’t familiar with. And even more especially in odd sizes, like twin extra longs. So he set up a split king on the showroom floor to exhibit clearance beds, pulling all those forgotten twin extra longs out onto the showroom.

Almost all of these were brand new discontinued models. Beds I’d never learned in training were exhumed to be displayed. The manufacturers had moved on to new lines and they’d been left behind. Why would he take such in interest in selling old stock, you might wonder? Because we made double commission on the sales margin of clearance beds, and if we’d had a bed long enough they dropped the cost in the system so it was a fucking cash cow to sell these. Even with huge discounts the commissions were wonderful so it was a win win.

When I got started I was jazzed about this program, I was so on board to sell weird old brand new beds and make a ton of money. I had a wonderful older couple come in, looking for a split king adjustable set. This was a white whale sale.

The current clearance models on the floor were a latex mattress that was brand new despite being of an age to start first grade, and a tempurpedic floor model. The couple laid down and it was like magic. They each loved the bed they’d laid down on. They wanted to buy the whole shebang.

I. Was. Thrilled. I told them about the clearance program and what that meant, and they weren’t bothered in the least. I wrote up the sale then dashed into the back, fizzing with excitement to tell my manager what I’d done.

“You sold the death bed?!” He asked in delight.

I pulled up short, my smile freezing in place. “What…?”

“Didn’t you check the notes?”

I hesitated for a long beat then slowly shook my head. You see, dear reader, all beds had a personal history. Every clearance bed had logs written up by the person who took the return, as well as warehouse crew after sanitizing. It helped us know what to expect when selling them. “Wasn’t it just a floor model? You said it was a floor model…”

He slowly shook his head. I checked the notes.

It turned out, it had been sold as a floor model. The first time. But the company had made an exception and taken it back as a return two months later. Why? Because it’s owner had passed away.

I stared at the computer in horror and my manager shrugged. “They signed the clearance form. Technically it was a floor model.”

“We know for a fact that a man died in that bed!”

“What they don’t know can’t haunt them,” he said philosophically.

The man came back a week later for more sheets, utterly delighted to tell me how well they were sleeping. I clamped my teeth down around the secret of the deathbed, choosing to let them love their new bed without the stigma. Only one person would be haunted by that deathbed, and it was me.

[rhae-ali]

GIVE HER THE EMMY IMMEDIATELY

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[timethehobo]

Oops. Head empty, just visuals of a dishevelled Emmy. 😔

[emmi-kat]

When someone loses their scrunchy in the pool after a haboob so it's too dusty to see so you use *science* to make the scrunchy go in the middle so you can grab it.

[nessie665]

The Prophecy by Taylor Swift (2024) / Phantom of The Opera at the Royal Albert Hall (2011) / Phantom of the Opera (1990) / Takarazuka Y&K's Phantom (2004) / The Phantom of the Opera (1962) / The Phantom of the Opera (1989) / The Phantom of the Opera (2004) / Phantom Of The Paradise (1974) / Phantom Of The Opera (1943) / Love Never Dies (2012) / The Phantom of the Opera (1925) 

And I sound like an infant Feeling like the very last drops of an ink pen A greater woman stays cool But I howl like a wolf at the moon A greater woman has faith But even statues crumble if they're made to wait I'm so afraid I sealed my fate No sign of soulmates