#emily posting

[ask-emily-em-emmy]

A Return to Something Like Normal

Sometime during her break, Emily had decided that her apartment, which had previously been meant for one, needed to be updated to meet the requirements of three. She had ordered a few pieces of furniture, including an art desk, foldable tv trays and a new tank with accessories to reunite Ass with her tiny black ball python, Venom. Another exciting purchase, the seraph had ordered a comfy outdoor couch that fit the three of them so they could all sit and watch the sunrise together, although there were several night spent on it as well, watching the stars and sharing their love however they could.

Emily didn’t want to leave her apartment. She’d essentially spent the last few weeks of her vacation nesting with her lovers and the idea of leaving the safety and comfort was not a pleasant one. Of course, they had gone out a few times together, (Shamira had even gone out on her own once) however this was different.

This would mark the first time she was truly separated from Ass since Sera had tried to unmake her.

Hindsight being 20x20, things had worked out for the best in the end! She wouldn’t trade her golden guardian for the world now! But, the fear that perhaps Sera would try again was never far from her mind and the chances of them being as lucky the second time was… slim at best.

And so, despite knowing it would make her a bit late, she spent a few extra minutes that morning on the balcony with her two warriors. A warm cocoon of wings and strong arms enveloping her as they softly spoke, laughing about nothing in particular, all of them trying to pretend they weren’t about to miss each other for the first time since they began.

But all good things must be ruined by career, as one winner had put it a little over a hundred years ago. It hadn’t made much sense at the time considering her career was everything to her then, but it made perfect sense now.

She finished getting ready, final soft kisses given freely to her guardian with a hand on her cheek and hungrier kisses for her flame ending with a light smack to Ass’s rear. Waving goodbye, she opened a portal to just outside the Joy Team™️ office building. She could have placed the portal inside, but something about that felt wrong after her leave of absence.

What she expected to walk into was a pristine office space, probably more well kept than she had left it considering the way that Penelope had assured her she had nothing to worry about. Emily really wasn’t sure how to describe the feeling in her chest knowing that things were running smoothly without her. Something like anxiety or fear that she might be replaced.

(But would that be so bad? A change of career?)

She was not prepared for charred walls, cracked furniture, broken windows and Penelope sitting forlorn at her desk with her head in her hands.

Emily blinked as she looked around at the mess. “Hey Pen, how’s it been… uh… going?” She took cautious steps forward, trying to avoid stepping on debris or tripping over metal reusable bottles.

The winner had a lot of mouse-like features, large rounded ears, a nose that pointed up just a bit past where it did in her mortal life and a tail she generally kept wrapped around her waist like a belt until she got too worked up, when it would end up in her hand as she worried the end. Penelope’s face as she looked up at Emily was very reminiscent of the human she once was though. Her mouth pressed tightly together, her eyebrows scrunched together, her chin dimpled as she did her best not to grind her teeth that sometimes felt too large for her mouth. Tear tracks down her cheeks darkening the short, light fur her heavenly form had given her.

“I lied to you, and if you fire me, I won’t blame you. I thank you for your time and never ending support thus far… please forgive me, Joy Bringer. I am… a failure.” She hung her head low and clamped her hands behind her neck, waiting for Emily to drop the guillotine.

Despite herself, Emily laughed. She threw her head back, not cruelly, but joyously. Maybe Adina was an awful Joy Bringer, but she definitely brought Emily some in that moment.

“I’m not going to fire you, Penelope. You’ve been a very valuable member of this team and I don’t think I’d ever be able to find someone else with your attention to detail.” Penelope looked up hopefully a smile working its way onto her face at the praise. Emily grinned to encourage it, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Now, where’s everyone else? We need to get this place cleaned up!”

Right on cue, the door to the break room burst open and Maple, spraying a fire extinguisher into the room she entered from, appeared.

“Don’t worry, I found the fire extinguisher!” Her antlers held a fire retardant blanket and the fire extinguisher in her hands (which was not one owned by Joy Team™️ last Emily knew) had some of the foam still hanging out of the end of the tube.

“Well! That’s great news! Thank you, Maple!”

Before Emily could say anything more, the break room was alight once more as Terry sneezed. Maple jumped, her little wings flapping high as she let loose the fire extinguisher. “BEGONE HELLFIRE!!!”

To Emily’s eternal amusement and shock, the ceiling decided in that moment to give way, dropping Ellen, Duckton and Chad to the ground, their card game spilling across the floor.

“Emily’s back!!! Is it Monday already?” Ellen laughed nervously as she brushed dust off herself. “We uh, we missed you! Please make sure Adina and Joyer don’t find me pleasepleaseplease…”

“I-”

“Emily! It’s so good to see you! We’re all glad that you’re ba… ba… ahCHOO!!!” Terry’s sneeze lit the corner of Penelope’s cubicle and motivational puppy calendar, the last clean and orderly part of the room, perhaps even the whole building.

With a vicious spray, Maple stopped the fire, coating Penelope and her cubicle.

“Penelope?”

“Yes, Emily?”

“Take the day off.”

“Thank you.”

…

It was long work, but with Emily back at the helm, the remaining crew returned the office to its former glory.

And Emily planned a workshop on safety.

[meangirlsautism]

they should’ve casted me as emily in the until dawn movie SMH

[angel-fruitcake]

[heartfulrosebud]

Hmmm. Contemplerating making a fanfic master post to pin. I don't exactly have an expansive catalogue (I've been very uninterested in writing any until this year) and it'd be exclusively Dungeon Meshi for quite a while, but it might motivate me to actually keep writing this stuff. Or maybe not. The pastabilities are endless

[elliesbelle]

emily gwen, the creator of the sunset lesbian flag that we’ve come to commonly use, still continues to live in poverty.

multi-billion dollar companies have used their design and made profit from it, and yet they have not seen a cent for their creation.

i’ve been friends with emily for years, and i have not once seen them be financially stable the entire time. i’ve seen them homeless, unemployed, starving. right now, they need our help more than ever.

please consider donating to emily’s ko-fi, especially if you’ve used their design to create something and profited from it.

[aubreycumin666]

Somebody’s standing pose is babygirl

[wuntrum]

dinner in america posting

[anna-scribbles]

adrinette exes! and marichat! part 4!

(part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 5)

[sapphicweisz]

[emilycomics]

[ask-emily-em-emmy]

If you were a bird what kind of bird would you be?

I’m really more of an egg for now it seems! Maybe someday we’ll know!

[fazgoo-connoiseur-1987]

oh so THAT'S why we can't inspect the photo

[badgerclawsaresharp]

trifecta of brennan lee mulligan self-inserts in fantasy high junior year

[scarlettjemily]

Gonna tell my kids this was One Direction

[synkverv]

gays will get divorced and make it everyone's problem smh

[wizzard890]

okay so picture this.

You're a man named Jim Steinman. You are one of the most prolific songwriters of the 80s. In your spirit, output and essence, you are eternally popping a wheelie on a motorcycle while a hot half-naked woman clings to you and bats wheel in the sky above.

You wrote a song in which Meatloaf plays a hideously disfigured hunk who steals a nubile lady back to his crumbling manor and introduces her to the pleasures of magic lesbian group sex.

You wrote a song in which Celine Dion sings as Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights, dancing with Cathy's corpse on a beach in the moonlight; a scene which you, Jim Steinman, believe should have been in the book. (The moors of Wuthering Heights are landlocked, but you, Jim Steinman, are too fucking real to care about that.)

You wrote the song for the opening scene of the movie Streets of Fire, in which evil leatherdaddy Willem Dafoe leads his malefic motorcycle crew into a concert to abduct Diane Lane while she's wearing a skintight satin jumpsuit.

You wrote a song in which Bonnie Tyler wanders a haunted boarding school as literal demon twinks gyrate at her out of the fog.

There is no peak of goth camp that you, Jim Steinman, have not summited, no horny energy you have not tapped. They say that Alexander the Great wept when he saw there were no more worlds to conquer. But you, Jim Steinman, are not Alexander the Great. You, Jim Steinman, are better. You, Jim Steinman, have vision.

You take your most successful song, the song everyone knows, the most big-haired, white dress, gothic arches, doves flying, possessed choir boys chanting, bombastic song you have, and think: what if this, but with vampires.

And so you change the lyrics to be about death and infinity and a powerful bloodsucking lord seducing a girl who is ALL ABOUT IT, and then toss off a whole musical for this song to be the centerpiece to, and the musical is bad but it's also a weird hit that's been staged in fourteen countries and revived seven times, because nothing has ever whipped as campily, as ridiculously, as perfectly as this:

It never takes off in America. A prophet is without honor in his own land. But that doesn't matter. How could it matter? You are perhaps the most creatively self-actualized man who has ever lived. Look at that vampire. He's coming in hot and a hundred Venetian nuns gave their lives to make his ludicrously capacious lace sleeves. Look at that girl. She was born in a fog machine. She wore her best red velvet cape. She's down bad. She's singing Total Eclipse of the Heart the whole time.

You are Jim Steinman, and you have reached apotheosis.