#emily axford... your fucking mind.

[natjennie]

ANKARNA ART ANKARNA ART ANKARNA ART

[pers3phone399]

cant wait to see all the d20 vulture compilations flood the internet in the next 24 hours

EDIT:

NOW DID I TELL YOU OR DID I TELL YOU

[mallevsmaleficarum]

a summary of events that merit further dissection after relistening to campaign one of Naddpod re: the Feywild arc:

Hardwon dies fighting the Hounds and Bev has to revivify him

Hardwon hears Gemma, his mom, and his dad calling to him from three different afterlives (only Gemma tells him its not his time btw) and he has a choice to go with any of them or come back to life

Up until this point, his guilt over not preventing Gemma’s death has manifested in him feeling pretty bad about himself and also not really pursuing anything with anyone (being very awkward and not shooting his shot with the Tris’s (played for laughs)

Hardwon is revivified and says to Gemma that he’s still a bit of a fuckboi, followed by “Heeyy Moonshine and Bev”

various non-serious flirting happens for a couple episodes (Emily makes a point to say Moonshine was holding Hardown when he came back (Bev also grabs his hand))

While fighting Ezra the unseelie queen Hardwon kisses Moonshine after she’s attacked by the eye stalks and becomes frozen

Moonshine doesn’t seem to reciprocate for a couple rounds because she just learned she’s part High-elf and then Hardwon learns that when he killed Galad (sp?) he damned his mother to the Shadowfell and made her Galad’s prisoner again- he begins to think everyone he loves or has anything to do with dies because of him

Moonshine makes her saving throw- overcoming Ezra’s magic, and kisses Hardwon back (later Balnor comments that they were making out during the fight- they both seem a bit uncomfortable and play it off now that the fight’s over)

after the fight everyone is depressed about what they learned, Hardwon seems especially so, he and Moonshine get fucked up together

Hardwon also is pointedly awkward when Moonshine brings up Gemma in the next episode!!!

they go to the shadowfell, with Moonshine using her spores to bring Hardwon below five hp so they can planeshift and we know how she usually spores people to death

this is where I’m caught up to on my rewatch, but knowing what is to come in Shadowfell, I think its pretty clear Hardwon is aware of his romantic feelings for Moonshine at this point, got the courage to make a move, and was immediately punished (in his mind) for it by learning that his choices have hurt the people he loves (despite the fact he had no way of knowing any of these things would happen)

que vampire Hardwon and naked resurrection ritual (and ooooh do you remember that scene- thats a whole other post!!)

“I’ve been a half elf ever since I met you,” etc.

Basically they both keep getting closer to each other and discovering what they mean to each other but also get FURTHER away from making any declarative statements about it! the more they progress the more they have to loose and the more afraid they become of saying anything about it! (Also important to mention here that Moonshine is pretty much against monogamy- which adds another layer to this BUT doesn’t cheapen any of the feelings they have for one another).

Therefore: if Hardwon hadn’t learned about his mom he might have made a move by their last night before they fought Thiala instead of sleeping with a dwarf from New Zealand (and someone remind me-did Moonshine cast foresight (9th level) so that Hardwon would be good on his first time??)

I literally cannot wait for the next episode of Ba2umia and their hopeful reunion

Note: theres no right or wrong way things should’ve happened btw, all of the players had the agency to make their own character choices and i respect the hell outta all of them all as players- the are THE characters of all time and they each had such amazing character arcs!!! i love the whole cast (very much including Caldwell and Murph!)

i had to subscribe to the patreon i gotta know what theyre saying in the short rests!!!!

[fillingthescrapbook]

Let's Talk About: Fantasy High Junior Year and the Summer Breakdown

We need to talk about this episode because it. was. wild.

First things first: The remaining half of the Night Yorb battle? Wild! And those tactical late-comers? So tactical! So late! So wild!

Squeem is still alive! And so is Ecaf--but Fabian must never know.

What's more wild though is how Brennan is planting the seeds of discord and the Intrepid Heroes are all aware. You can see them filing things up in their minds and their notebooks. This isn't their first rodeo. But Brennan's voice is so soft and so kind and so calm--

But we mustn't trust Brennan. Because he is up to something that will break our hearts. That one BTS video with Emily Axford has planted something in me that makes me suspicious of everything Brennan says.

Each Bad Kid has their own establishing moments of where things are currently for them, and I am absolutely crushed at how things have turned for the worse. And I know most of the bad things are because of player decisions and keeping up with the season's overarching theme. Still doesn't make it less sad?

You know what else is sad? Sklonda's speech to Riz. It feels like a conversation Brennan had with his mom. It is fucking devastating.

And then we get to Kristen. I think we were all suspecting that things were not all sunshine and daisies because of how Kristen was acting--and not just because the Night Yorb blocked out the sun… but that conversation with Cassandra in the end? "Better than Yes" is not a great thing to hear from your god who has only two followers. Especially when she's presently getting hurt by something unknown…while being the goddess of the unknown.

Something is afoot.

Brennan is out to get us.

I don't trust that he would just let Gilear have a string of good luck. Especially since he's supposed to be the vice principal at Aguefort Academy.

Also: where is Cathilda?

And could Arthur Aguefort's stunt with the sun in Sophomore Year be the actual cause of the Night Yorb getting released?

One more thing: Sarah Barrios posted some behind-the-scenes for the Teenage Rebellion music video. It's worth a look.

[dimension20npcofalltime]

My Favourite Tags / Reblogs of Round Two

Yeah sorry this one's long

#the yogurt man deserves this

Loose Duke did NOT hide for nearly an entire season in a spaceship’s vents, personally haunting Emily Axford the real person’s mind, to lose. - inkytrinket-irii

#loose duke is the only npc that gets better the less you see him

#hell yes! BIM SWEEP!#all the calroy girlies see his canon artwork and run for the hills. pathetic.#that man is a slice of cake and he’s sexier than any pink​​​-haired twink you could possibly draw

#chose calroy bc of that one monologue that out of context makes a crown of Candy sound like the most intense historical war period piece#to ever exist#also bc I did not watch sophmore year

#calroy sweep are you kidding#the gayest slice of cake to ever live

#hardest decision of my life 5ever#shit in your mouth vs watch me shit? how could i ever decide between those two?#(it was calroy easily)

#voted ox just so it's not a complete wipe. he's a Good Boy and i'm love him#but he doesn't stand a chance against the unhinged all-consuming-devotion dykery that is wuvvy

#i love garthy but Aelwyn has been giving me brainrot for the padt few months#the kind of character you want to snap in half and then cry about it

#it’s tough because aelwyns whole deal makes me cry#but on the other hand garthy is hot as hell

#ough this is hard#on one hand aelwyn is v complex and is central to adaines development in fhsy#on the other hand... garthy's voice is hot as hell and they are chill as hell#i GUESS ill pick aelwyn. im just saying i hate asmr but if it was garthy i think all my stress would melt away

#GUYS COME ON I KNOW GARTHY IS HOT BUT.#LOOK AT HER#SOPPING WET CAT OF A GIRL ALSO REMEMBER WHEN SHE WALKED INTO A LUDICROUS PARTY#OF HER OWN MAKING#SMASHED TWO BOTTLE OF LIQUOR AND MAGICED THAT SHIT STRAIGHT DOWN HER THROAT???#she is so everything to me Adaine in the first minutes of the campaign immediately tries to murder her#she shut down her mind to survive torture and kept her personality in a black box only her sister could open#sibling relationship of all time guys

#i love them both#but it has to be john feathers#most guy of all time despite literally being a bird

#if you're not gonna beat up a bunch of angels to give your wife tax advice don't even look at dale

#WHY is esther losing!!!#justice for my girl#my girl has the only braincell in NYC#released from her curse and immediately jumps the hot firefighter#nothing but respect

#one of the very few acoc characters i'll vote against without hesitation#ESPECIALLY for baron my god i love that little freak

#baron you funky creation from aroace fear

#i love dr lugash so fucking much#but you really put him up against annabelle cheddar? the most dyke 5ever?#i love her sm

#lugash would want you to vote annabell#because he is lgbt ally

#why does raghs art have him dressed as a dad at a barbecue#actually you know what he IS gay and it makes sense for him to be that flavor of gay

#plug's gonna lose a poll the same day he's gonna die- tomorrow

#Wilma!!!#or did y'all forget our education on docking

#vote caramelinda my god she deserves this win#also she's canonically lesbian. dyke rights.

[utilitycaster]

The chaotic player thread has been really interesting for me, because while I wouldn't call myself one I've been described as getting pretty chaotic in some campaigns I've been in. But my trick is that when I wanna do something wild, even if I know the dm very well, I absolutely shoot them a quick private message to ask first, and if it directly drags in another player, them as well. The rest of the table still gets the feeling of something random happening, but I 100% always do it with the plot and world in mind. I've made some moves that were pretty wild many times, but I only do that with dms I have an established relationship with AND have been checked in with. This obviously wasn't what you and the original anon were discussing, but I wanted to throw in my two cents as someone who's often been labeled as chaotic in case there are people reading who feel discouraged from being wacky! Dms often love big moves as long as they've been given tools and prior knowledge in my experience, and will often give you more opportunities to go hog wild or redirect your creativity if what your first thought is would impact the game negatively. Dms! Are! Your friend!

Hey anon,

So the original anon's definition is relevant here: "self-described 'chaotic' players (who seem to really only see their GMs as opponents to be bested and to ignore their story)" is the exact phrasing they used, and that's what I've been talking about specifically.

People getting called "chaotic" by others is a very different beast. I personally try to avoid it because it's used so much as to be meaningless. Sometimes it's a compliment, sometimes it's an insult, and often it's wrong. A lot of the time people just use it to mean something silly (eg: the Hilda Hilda scene with Emily Axford) or something cleverly unexpected (Jester and the cupcake) or something that's literally just "playing D&D correctly by interacting with your environment instead of trying to optimize everything" (Fjord touching the red button).

It depends on the exact situation, and also if your GM appreciates this then I don't want to fuck things up for them, and I do agree that if it involves other players you should make them aware - but I actually think you're being very cautious here! If you are genuinely taking the story and world and vibe into account, and you're just making a particularly bold and unconventional choice, unless it's likely to require drastically more prep on the GM's part, I think that's something a GM should be able to manage and roll with. And for what it's worth, they're a player too - an unexpected lateral thinking solution at the table in real time can be a pleasure for them the same way it is for everyone else.

The thing about good GMs is that they are your friend and your opponent. In most games, especially D&D, they want to get right up to the brink of beating you and they also really want you to pull out a win, too.

[thisisnotthenerd]

Dimension 20 Episode of the Day: 4/6

Today's Episode is: A Starstruck Odyssey, Episode 13, Battle of the Brands

Original Release Date: 4/6/2022

The Quick Synopsis: The Gunner Channel, on behalf of the Acme-Ashmun Corporation, come to wreck havoc in the Kubla-Cola Gladiatorial Arena against Smaggy Squirrel and Brobbin Bunny of Uncle B.O.B.'s Fantanimalland, The Kansas Construct, Brutus, of Kansas Korncakes, and the Triangle Mint Plinth of the Intergalactic Girl Guides.

Quotes:

"I want you in the finals. Me and you." ~ Barry Syx to Brutus the Corn Brutie

Margaret Encino and the Plinth, on wanting to fight:

I'm a polyglot. Can I try to speak to the Plinth?

Sure. You wanna speak to Plinth?

I just wanna say, "do you want to be fighting?"

Plinth enters into the heart of your mind.

I welcome it.

You see it goes, "I want the all fight."

And you watch the explosion, implosion and ending of the universe in the consumption of ultimate entropy.

Emily Axford, Brennan Lee Mulligan, and Siobhan Thompson on the execution of Operation Slippery Puppet:

So, Aurora will do that, throw [Riva] 10 feet closer, so that I can use a 15 foot cone from Riva's old body onto the Plinth.

Okay?

And then I take out the remote detonator that I bought for full price at Plug's, and I unleash--something called a charge fragmentation, “a device used to blow holes in larger constructs and structures.” This is what I spent a minute installing into Riva's old drone.

Am I getting Ocean's-ed 11-ed on my own fucking show? What the fuck is happening?

We read the book, Brennan. And by we, I mean just Emily. Emily read the book.

[unsleepingtales]

I should not be doing this I should be writing an essay but ok fantasy high junior year episode fourteen let’s fucking go

I’m so stressed guys I need nothing bad to happen to them tonight

D&d is fun because it allows you to play out such fantasies as: finishing an essay for once in your goddamn life

“I will not be proselytizing” I do not believe you!!

Beesbees time!

Gertie height confirmed! 6’5-6’6 ish

Of the many honeyed confections I believe baklava is king I LOVE HER SO MUCH

She speaks in romance languages <3

Buckyyyyy

(Awkward and quiet)

Yeeeeesh

Bucky being drawn to Cassandra what if I cried

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO FORGET

Oh shiiiiit

The wizard seems pretty cool Adaine!

Oooooh official subclass!

Creeeeepyyyy

Good to get some confirmation that Jace is weird

It’s the only time they get to hang out 😭😭

I’ll MISS YOU oh my god

Holy shit! She’s the ghost teacher!

To lie in prayer???

Loved the little ominous music after that

Made hand legerdemain! Let’s everybody hear it for mage hand legerdemain!

Oh that’s fascinating

Oh yeah Fig’s writing a song called Dawn of Justice but she’s never gonna believe in Ankarna

Fuck

What the hell is happening

Emily Axford your mind….

Took a break from the episode to submit an extension request because I am having a terrible time of it but we’re back now

The rat grinders have been to the mountains of chaos! Ok!

Girl what are you doing

You got an a+ for writing a note 😭

Oh right. Forgot about that.

We’re hemorrhaging money on the groundskeeper jawbone!!

Yessss the crying was fake

I love her soooooo much

For whyyyyy for what does he want that though

Regular ass freak

I’m too freaked out about my real life for this shit 😭

Dome art <3

Ok! I think (hope) Buddy will be willing to raise them

What the fuck are you talking about

Oh they have to actually know the answers oh god

I would love this but I know I am not the norm with that

I love that Gorgug has warding bond SO much

Did they JUST print out rat swarms oh my god

I’m so stressed

God this set is so cool

They put pipes on his mini 😭

Sleep is such a good spell

The amount of shirtless Agueforts gently bobbing in the background

Oh these are probably the butter jellies!

(Heavy breathing into imaginary pipes)

Ally looks so tired learning about the hydra

I hate thisssssss

I love their shenanigans though

That IS what school feels like :(

I love academia and learning I swear I’m just having a really bad time right now

I love Zac’s stamp flips <3<3

Sorry did Lou just do. 110 damage in one turn.

Fucking hell!

(Rolling so many dice)

God they’re so good. They’re so good at this.

Oh my fucking god!

I’m seeing d20 live the night the next episode comes out which is insane. Next week looks batshit. What a fun time we’re all having.

[ludinusdaleth]

I think I'll go for 4, 5 and 24—dealer's choice as to which of Artagan, Ludinus or Ira (or any npc, really. They don't get enough love.)

oh you have no idea the can of warms you've opened, lol.... i will happily do all 3!

this got so long i actually had to put a read more:

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

artagan - it isnt media per say but i really want to set him loose in our own reality and see what he'd do (there have been some hints i think, if half-jokingly said, that hes been here - boy do i think about that often.)

ira - we really should just let him star in his own horror movie. you could put him in a guillermo del toro film, and no one would bat an eye.

ludinus - i want to see how lud would react to faerun. a world so close to his own, but where the weave of magic is directly controlled by a god. there is an odd dichotomy in that faerun is more controlled than exandria and yet breaking that universe's laws are infinitely easier, and i think he would fall into obsession with that.

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

so.... im gonna (un)ashamedly plug my playlists for them here.... please ignore that they can go as long as twelve fucking hours.... ill try to narrow down specific songs that REALLY hit about them, though.

artagan - "within you" by david bowie, from labyrinth, is a perfect fit. not only is arti based on jareth but the song's meaning directly ties into him & jester. jareth is terrified of being nothing more than a lost concept, a lost celebrity crush made fae king, as sarah is metaphorically maturing. "how you turn my world, you precious thing/You starve and near exhaust me/Everything I've done, I've done for you/I move the stars for no one..." i mean, c'mon. "family of me" by ben folds, "celebrity status" by mariana's trench, "lapis lazuli" by the oh hellos, and "due west" by kelsey lu also really hit as arti songs for me.

ira - "mad iqs" by i dont know how but they found me is a really good song for ira's hatred of ludinus. "a mask of my own face" by lemon demon is self explanatory and far too specific, due to his fascination with ashton's mask of him, with the song mentioning "dancing with all the bells". he would go wild for and try to emulate "thriller" by michael jackson or "i cant decide" by the scissor sisters.

ludinus - if i did a speedpaint of lud, id set it to "science fiction" by church of the cosmic skull. "and all the people, they stood on their chairs, and they stared, at the man with the silver hair/taken the findings of the science man/raising his hands to the air!/so he's making the minds up of the millions, and they'd never deny that he's right/cause he's taken a prize of many a size/if ever he dies he'll have a tombstone of a very high height". "brutus" by the buttress is ABSOLUTELY a ruby vanguard trio song and i even used it in my art of them before. "all history is vengeance" by brad derrick from the eso soundtrack is what goes through my head at the malleus key. "blood upon the snow" by hozier & "never look away" by vienna teng also really work for him. i think "survivors guilt" by emily axford (yeah, prism) also has lyrics FAR too tailored to him - "i see you in my dreams/young, and brave, and pre-calamity/i will tell you a story/i will be the voice you lost too soon/because even in your absence, even in your death/im still your moon".

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

(i wouldnt say im in the fandoms for all of these, but)

artagan - i think it somewhat obvious he's based off of jareth in labyrinth - his voice is basically david bowie's singing voice. to a lesser but still strong degree he's very much marvel's loki, down to the voice - if, honestly, an infinitely better take on the trickster god. as a past extreme loki fan the pipeline is there for sure.

ira - ashley said she & matt based fearne's story off a guillermo del toro film and i can see that in many fae this go-round, especially ira. he is basically a doug jones character. it's very easy to compare him to creepypastas like the russian sleep experiment or slenderman, too.

ludinus - he has some heavy similarities to emperor belos of owl house, vyrthur of tes, prince nuada from hellboy, and other characters who fit the archetype of a white-haired, ancient, pale elven (or elven passing) man, from a different time, who murders & (in some cases) colonizes to exact vengeance on gods, humans, or similar entities he feels have destroyed those around him. characters clearly in the wrong but who do bring up important topics of the endless cycle of brutality they were caught in, mixed with their privelege in every other circumstance. he also reminds me of mannimarco of tes. they look exactly alike and both shadow run an empire, somewhat in cahoots and yet at odds with a balding white haired pale human man within that same empire. oh! and fëanor from the silmarillion.

thanks for asking! sorry this is so long, floodgates are opened when i discuss men i wish were my fictional partners, lol.

[befuddledmackem]

I was tagged by @todayiwrotenothing to post ten songs and tag some other people. I refuse to actively tag people because my anxiety spiked when I thought about it (ffs) but rest assured that if you're reading this I'd love to know what's been rattling around in your head recently!

No rules were given, so I've just picked songs that I've caught myself singing recently.

Inkpot Gods by The Amazing Devil (honestly, I'm yet to find a song of theirs that I don't like, but this has been my shower song of choice lately - see also Blossoms by them)

Daytona Sand by Orville Peck ("It's not that I don't care / it's just hard to make a plan" hits me hard, also that voice tho)

Thick as Thieves by The Jam (my brain just latches onto "we're no longer as thick as thieves / no we're not as thick as we used to be" and repeats it in an endless, maddening loop.)

Supernatural by Barns Courtney (another shower concert banger. I also love the acoustic version. A wailed "Yeah, I must be outta my mind" goes through my head multiple times a day.)

My Silver Lining by First Aid Kit (Pretty voices, innit?)

A Case of You by Joni Mitchell ("I could drink a case of you, darling / and I would still be on my feet" my heart!)

Good Life by Shayfer James (this is a fucking bop. Another song in the shower concert line up. I first heard it through a Disco Elysium animatic which used it perfectly. Spoilers though!)

Handshakes by Do Nothing (Another song I like to wail along to)

Obstinate Brain by Päter (This is such a bop and also describes my own relationship with my goddamn brain so well.)

Riverboat Shanty by Emily Axford (ELDERMOURNE MY BELOVED. The first time I heard this I was crying at the Eldermourne finale, on a bench, in public, and let me tell you, this song did not help the situation re: tears.)

[minionsuncle]

SUCH A GOOD FUCKING SCENE emily axford your fucking mind

kipperlilly?

[calderskillday]

A COURT OF FEY & FLOWERS EPISODE 7 liveblog!!!!!!

omg right off the bat turning binx into a frog "brooch"

SURENA WHAT WAS THAT SOUND

"you make an excellent frog" andhera u are such a useless boy <3

oh my god surena is incredible

hhhh the whole table's reaction when rue says "you were USED"

HOB GIVING HIS MEDAL TO RUE

ANDHERA NOT BEING ABLE TO FORM A WORD GAHHH

LMAO LOU "i ain't gonna let this shit fly"

wannessa... detecting magic...

BEG YOUR PARDON FOR TAKING A JAB AT YOUR MOMENT

omg sea foam trying to recruit rue...

lmao both lou and emily being so disappointed that the camera is headed towards them

DO WE HAVE THREE HOURS AND TWENTY TWO MINUTES

airry pearry makes another appearance 👀

emily aXfOrD

"actually, i wanna fail" em always does what's fun 🤭

OMG aabria's drugs mechanics

(emily is so hot, anyways)

the LORDS OF THE FREAKING WING

peep 🥺🥺🥺🥺

"you know i get off on other people's pleasure" every single emily axford character 🤭

LOU WILSON CHAOS

HOW INSANE TO CRIT ON CHOPPING CIGARS

emily is fucking making MOVES this episode

lou's lil "hai-ya" as he throws his die

oh this shit's getting INTERESTING

the green hunter stuff is so fucking funny

BALL TIME BALL TIME

THE FEY EQUIVALENT OF LEGGINGS AND A DIRTY TSHIRT

OH MY GODDDDDD ANDHERA'S MASQUERADE BALL ART

omg this scene is so cute

WE FINALLY KNOW WHAT THE STONE ON HIS NECK IS

binx offering to take it out for them 🥺

binx has 3 warlocks!!!

why is this gonna make me cry?? surena i LOVE U

"studio audience"

describing the court of craft as a house, a home 🥺🥺🥺

I PLEDGE MY OATH TO YOUR CAUSE AHHHHHHHH

THE SET CHANGEEEE

omg the animated picture of the room.....

HOB IN HIS GORGEOUS BALL UNIFORM

A MONOCLE

omg chirp's mask dress......

SQUAK IN ALL WHITE AND A MOLTEN GOLD CAPE

polymorphing attendants into fish is so fucking funny lou

putting a love potion in just a random glass 😭

well now rue and wuvvy matching is making me want to ship them even more

hhhhhhh the tension between them

oh my GOD??? binx's ball outfit???????

scratch 😭😭😭

"i got like six seconds" LMAO META

the mechanics they're using for a PC warlock patron?? so cool

you don't know SCRATCH????

andhera scheming 👀

AABRIA'S BROGUE HHHHH

ANDHERA IS WHEELING AND DEALINGGGG

"so nasty"

HOB SO SLICK

"i thought i was doing something, i wasn't doing anything" lmaooo

THE CHACHA SLIDE

LOU FUCKING WILSON

why is lady chirp featherfowl a catherine o'hara character

KEHGKFJG CHIRP AND RUE this WHOLE conversation is so good

AABRIA BEGGING EMILY TO CLOCK RUEHOB LMAOOOOO

DO YOU THINK THEY CAN SAY GRANDFATHER????? HHHH????

GRANDFATHER'S ALREADY HERE?????

EW GRANDFATHER

every time the scene involves the lords of the wing i lose my mind

OH MY GOD

CAN I HUCK GRABALBA AT GRANDFATHER

hob's impulse 🥺🥺

eeeEEEEEEEE

hhhh going from ruehob to binxhera <333333

"this is a fire" i want to CRY

omg andhera talking to the lords of the wing about the material plane without knowing chirp's situation 🤭

oh my god shit is getting TENSE

[drinkingdeadpeopletea]

i’m a simple woman, i listen to that line in “grey goo” where emily axford’s like “let the robots turn our every cell into their kin/but i will never forget the landscape of your skin” and i lose my fucking mind

[behercowboy]

i could go on for literal HOURS about the intricacies behind emily axford’s tiny journey of unrealized self-discovery through these successive episodes of fantasy high live.

literally, from the moment that the figayda implications first started, i fixated SO HARD on the little details that were her constantly shifting facial expressions and innate body language towards it. she was so quiet and contemplative. my personal opinion on figayda at the beginning of this was completely overshadowed by em’s initial reactions, as brennan laid the groundwork for the relationship and had ayda dropping lines that felt borderline IMPRESSIONABLE on a romance.

he’s a master of his craft, of course, and i’ve reiterated this point plenty of times on twitter and said that i’ve had yet to rewatch the past episodes, but the way em was acting at certain points after emotionally charged scenes CAUGHT my attention and KEPT my attention. you could actually hear how smart she was with her responses, a genius in the way that she wasn’t saying yes, but she wasn’t saying no either. you could see the gears turning in her head as she considered this chance, this possibility, perceptible but so contingent on how SHE felt.

not fig. obviously, she channels aspects of herself into fig, funnels them into her and exaggerates them to such a degree that it’s comical and just what she needs to juxtapose how serious she can get sometimes. and there’s definitely a line between reality and fantasy. but not fig. it didn’t feel like it was about fig to me. it was a product of em’s own making. thus, it was HER decision.

you gotta understand, when you KNOW things, when you KNOW how em feels in regards to relationships in dnd in general, you’ll be able to see why i’m going so feral over this and getting bigger with my words more than usual. just kidding. more than usual? this is the norm. ANYWAY.

“i can’t even flirt with people in dnd because i just panic. it’s too vulnerable and too real and i just bail.”

“especially in dnd, it’s really easy to, if you are shy about that, it’s really easy to have relationships be a non-issue because the stakes are always so heightened that sure, of course it’s not gonna be on your mind, but i keep wanting to, but i can’t do it.”

“there’s other ways to be very vulnerable. i mean, i cry in dnd all the time, and that doesn’t feel as embarrassing as, i guess, it maybe just feels more vulnerable to like someone and not know if they like you back. i can cry and have those emotions and that’s okay. it’s not as embarrassing.”

these are things em said in a recent episode of short rest, and courtesy of the loml jo aka @biscuitskrueger, which, by the way, THANK YOU SO MUCH, I OWE YOU MY LIFE, i got to hear these bits and pieces. they hit so hard when you connect them to this new storyline that fig’s got going on, this new chapter of her story that’s truly the most tender it can possibly get for an open book like her. and i don’t know, it just makes me go NUTS that this isn’t driven by the things you’d expect it to be driven by.

i’ll let myself get honest for a second, i know the majority of us are gonna run with figayda becoming canon and love it for fig and love it for ayda and keep it to their characters, and FUCK, that’s so valid. that’s so, so, so valid.

me? i’m taking this to heart through emily’s heart.

it could for sure just be me projecting because i’ve come to love her so much as a person, respect for her grown to an insane level in such a short amount of time, but i highly believe that all of em’s pcs take after her in the sense that they get her to make decisions.

impulsive girls with big hearts. i’ve come to learn that that’s my type. emily axford? TOTALLY that.

jo and i got to talking about this after the last live episode, focusing on how fig’s prior engagements with romance were about as flirtatious and over-the-top as they come, totally up em’s sleeve and totally funny no matter how many times she went after it. affair after affair. it was so her. because it was easier. because feeling strange feelings you haven’t felt in years is awkward and harder.

brennan being the clear instigator for figayda is the catalyst for getting em into this terrifying position where she’s got to make a choice. not go for it and lose this great opportunity for representation in a space where it’s not found often. go for it and risk the emotional effort that she’s verbally expressed makes her uncomfortable. it’s a TRUE dilemma. drag me if you want, but i would’ve still been with her if she had chosen that first option. it’s safe for her. while it’s a letdown for others, it’s power to her and a testament to an attempt.

here’s the thing. she FLOORS IT towards that second option. SHE! TAKES! THE! CHANCE! i don’t know if i could ever properly convey in text how happy it makes me that she did that. it wasn’t just for fig. it was for her. it’s BRAVE for the both of them. em had enough dedication to recognize that fig being with ayda can be a realistic choice. that takes guts.

couple this with the fact that she was still, consciously or unconsciously, FIGHTING the fact that she let this happen right after by doing that whole thing with murph. god, i know it was fig and riz in the moment, i know it was a bit, i know i’m reading into it too much, BUT. em bleeds her heart out into it. she wastes those two luck points and she uses that bless. anyone SANE would think it’d be hard to beat inquisitive rogue riz gukgak with his advantage on investigate checks. that fucking 28 doesn’t stop the strongest 31 ever. THE COMMITMENT. i’m losing my mind.

yes, yes, yes, it’s a known FACT that pcs will inevitably be parts of yourself. pcs will be extensions of yourself. and what about it? i’m ALLOWED to be in awe of this. i got attached to dnd because of this damn cast and i will not be held back from pouring myself out like this.

anyway, i’m just gonna close this by linking some breakdown threads i had over the few weeks leading up to this big fucking moment. and i’m also just gonna quote em.

“what can i say? i’m a closed book!!! i just don’t wear my heart on my sleeve!!! i’m all mystery!!!”

i know, em, i know.

[banrions]

Oh hey D20 Anon here. My last one may have gotten eaten (or you didn’t see/didn’t feel like responding which is also cool!) anyway I finished Fantasy High (am on the second of the post season live shows). And...wow. Who knew I could feel so much about A show where they fought corn the first episode. The parental pairings made me lol. Riz getting the kill shot after SO MANY low dice rolls made my day. Kalvaxus being the worst and hitting their insecurities and Fig interrupting with “stop flirting with me” made me howl laughing. So many thoughts and things. Thank you for posting about this show and bringing it into my life. PS- I started listening to NADDpod on my evening walks and...yeah Emily Axford has my axe. And my bow. PPS: I’m ace and hearing Adaine talk about maybe being ace? And reading about how Siobhan didn’t want to pretend it was ace rep, because girl has trauma, and she may or may not be, and that’s okay?! Goodness was that fantastic. I’ll probably headcanon Adaine as my queer ace anxious self insert but I just love all the great rep they make a point to include.

oh damn it def gotten eaten.

YAYYYYYYYY FOR FEELING REP, that’s awesome. i’m so happy for you. i loved hearing siobhan talk abt that. i thought it was such a healthy thing too, to be like, teens, are young. and they might have an idea of what’s going on (and that’s good and should be respected!) but it’s also ok!! if what you think is going on changes!! (in general, i’m a big believer [esp in the last few years] of like, it is ok to change your mind on things!! that doesn’t invalidate what you thought before, or what you think now!!)

emily axford has made me howl laugh more times during this quanrantine that literally anything else, and, no joke, has truly helped me get through this nonsense!!!

YAYYYYY NADDPOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! moonshine cybin is, truly, one of my favorite characters EVER, at this point. i am SO EXCITED for campaign 2 (session zero drops TODAY!!! GET IN ON THIS ANYONE WHO WANTS TO JUMP INTO NADDPOD PLS!!, IT’S A NEW WORLD, YOU WON’T GET SPOILERS, EVERYONE LISTEN TO NADDPOD!!!)

i also listen to it on my daily walks (and, while i was binging it, fucking all day as well lol) but it is so lovely and i’m so glad more ppl are getting into it bc they deserve all the love.

[summerdutkowsky]

What kind of d20 opinions? If you would like to share, I would love to hear them! No pressure if not, I just love hearing your thoughts on the show.

part of me is hesitant to give opinions because i truly love this fandom and how peaceful and kind it is, not that having opinions should cause an uproar but i also don’t want to start anything so just keep in mind that these are my opinions and in no way judge people who think the opposite. like you know just a general warning, i appreciate all opinions and respect all the people in the fandom

under a cut for length, starting with the good things i love and then a few unpopular ones. please ask me more about this show i love talking about it

The good:

i love the set up of the show, the format is so easy to get into and not as overwhelming as critical role. i can sit easily for a couple of hours and watch the d20 crew play rather than four-five hours for cr

also i love the battle ep/rp ep/battle ep format, it’s so smart and so much fun

i also need to add that there’s not one person in the cast i find irritating or annoying, i truly enjoy and love each and every person on the cast and i love the way brennan dms (he and deb ann woll are truly my favorite dms) i like the way he encourages batshit moves because they’re fun and he’s a little looser with the rules (i know that may be controversial but as someone who has never played and would like to, the way brennan dms is much more appealing because being strict with that many rules is intimidating as hell)

i like that they never have guests on, again that may be controversial, but it’s such a nice balance and camaraderie between the cast you can just feel the love and support and throwing another person in the mix would throw off that balance

i love the peppering of philosophy brennan throws in there and it’s so obvious he was home schooled because he truly sometimes has no clue how school works at all and it’s very very obvious he was a philosophy major 

i’m so incredibly glad that my love for emily axford caused me to go on a binge of everything she’s been in (i get that way when i get super depressed) because i wouldn’t have found d20 otherwise, and it truly has changed my life for the better, it is just such joy and there’s moments of seriousness but because it’s a bunch of comedians it never gets too serious and upsetting

it’s genuinely and truly the best and most fun show and i wish everyone would give it a chance 

The not as good:

i don’t ship fabian/riz as much as everyone else (read: don’t ship at all), and a lot of times i don’t struggle to see it at all (though i am a huge lesbian so mlm ships aren’t usually on my radar)

speaking of fabian, first season fabian is so fucking obnoxious and he needed that pirate beat down badly to take him down a few notches and now he’s like one of my favorites

kristen and tracker need to tone it down with the intense sex talk, like a joke here and there in the beginning of the season was great (and i will admit ‘officer kristen’ joke was fucking hilarious) but the fact they talk about different sex positions all the time in front of everyone is just a lot and very very annoying (i legit do not need to hear about the sex dungeon you have and you 69-ing on the ground) it’s gotten to the point where any time kristen says something i just zone out

there are FAR too many npcs on the team this season, i love each and every one of them dearly and i would love for them all to stay on board but it’s clear that brennan is overwhelmed because he forgets about so many of them (and is insistent on killing gilear)

i don’t enjoy the sidequests as much as the main quests (it took me literally months to watch bloodkeep because it just didn’t hold my attention), i miss the main cast, plus they’re so short i can’t get into the story. it is a nice hold over between seasons but i just can’t get into them, though it does introduce me to new people i adore (looking at you jess and lily and rekha)