#emhyr is such a little shit
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[ID: Alignment chart featuring Witcher 3 characters on the subject of violence. Read from left to right, top to bottom. Under the column labeled "Does not want to commit violence" are: Dandelion/Jaskier at "Does not commit violence"; Regis at "Commits violence"; Geralt at "Committing violence right now!"
Under the column labeled "Does not mind committing violence" are: Duchess Annarietta at "Does not commit violence"; Ciri at "Commits violence"; Vernon Roche at "Committing violence right now!"
Under the column labeled "Enjoys committing violence" are: Roach at "Does not commit violence"; Gaunter O'Dimm at "Commits violence"; Radovid at "Committing violence right now!" /End description]
#described#wicher#rosch is a good fit here but i think emhyr could def take her place too#*roach#emhyr is such a little shit#chart
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Hexer episode 6
Don’t you hate when you’re trying to dramatically storm off and then some stupid monster interrupts you? Poor Pavetta 😅
oh you know mousesack is the coolest dude here cause his beard is the biggest. He’s got a little ra ra rasputin vibe going on
oh damn did she get poisoned I thought she just fainted sorry girl I wasn’t judging u for fainting from the puppet. We all been there.
hahaha Geralt telling them not to drain her blood with leeches.
Ah Calanthe wants Geralt to come kill Duny for her. I fucking wish that creep got killed. I’m pretty sure that little worm survives the end of the book series now that I think about it 😤 dammit Geralt 😩
aw shit everything between Calanthe and Pavetta just hurts. All the ways that Pavetta is just totally abandoned by her mother in service to the kingdom it’s like she was groomed to be the perfect victim for Duny/Emhyr to take advantage of. She’s starved for love and desperately wants someone to think she matters. I feel like we get to see so little of Pavetta, she’s barely a character in the books and we didn’t get a lot in the Netflix show. I’m excited to see what else happens this episode with her.
Huh so she doesn’t suspect about Duny yet she thinks a creature is prowling the castle? In the books wasn’t that Duny and Pavetta having sex? oh I love how how clever Calanthe is in this. She gathers all this info on Geralt and then does all she can to set herself up to look like the most reasonable side I love it. It’s such a great way to show her political performance skills in just a few minutes to the audience. She’s keeping the child of surprise claim hidden from Geralt and trying to make sure he’ll kill Duny by telling him he has a monster form. Everything she does is very clever here and I love it
Pavetta doing magic is so funny. Go girl make that witcher so constipated.
ok well I was going to say that no woman likes hearing a man say another woman’s name but this one seems to be into it? Damn and she’s very patriotic do it for cintra!
hold on now I just got the ick actually Geralt thought that was Yennefer the whole time. You ever get so caught up it watching a beautiful woman unbutton her dress that you forget they’re depicting an assault? Err yikes 😬
damn now with Pavetta talking to him I feel like it’s created such an interesting and complex situation. Inadvertently Pavetta ‘magically’ drugged Geralt someone else came along and took advantage of him in that vulnerable position. Pavetta only did that to Geralt because magically sleep spelling the people around her in the only control she has in her fucked up situation.
like it’s messed up but it’s interesting to think about. I kinda wish I were a writer just because I feel like there’s stuff to dig into there but words are not my medium. Idk I am rotating these two in my mind.
ooo yes show your contempt for him Geralt heh heh
god this dude is full of shit ‘I don’t remember now’ bullshit you planned it
you fucked her to strengthen your claim- 😤🤬😬 I’m evil now I’m entering the story Pavetta I’m going to woo you so so niceys don’t even worry about that that bonefire over-there that smells like hedgehog I’ve got chocolate and animal crossing on god well get you some therapy Come live with me it’ll be awesome.
Hmmm this is different from the books with virgins not being able to do magic. I remember ciri having a conversation with Yennefer and being worried about being a virgin effecting her magical ability but yen telling her that was silly
Pavetta is so lonely all Duny has to do is the bare minimum for her to feel like she’s in love.
Calanthe is so fascinating. A terrible mother a brilliant queen. Smart yet has a temper that can undermine her.
Geralt’s advice is interesting. It’s smart quick thinking but also it fails to think long term which are what Duny/Emhyr’s goals actually are.
also love that his advice was ur a hottie get married
noooo don’t seat Geralt next to creepy lady
wooo eist and Calanthe are getting married yay
omg the creep wants to talk to Geralt about it. Who tf is this aurora lady the creepyness is off the charts
wow hedgehog Duny looks terrible
the only thing wrong with the Pavetta scream scene is that they could have gone harder on the telanova sort of vibe to it. There should have been more scene transitions and wipes.
hahaha Calanthe is the lion of cintra with hair like that
always this interesting push/pull dynamic with Calanthe and Geralt she tells him she’ll keep him in her heart but also confirms that witchers can’t ask anything of kings. I feel like I can’t quite be sure if it’s real or not. Maybe in spite of herself Calanthe does feel a connection with Geralt (not necessarily romantic or even something that would stop her from using him but something you know)
Duny just could let him go without one last jab huh? This is fate
Episode 6: Calanthe link to the episode
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Emhyr wakes up to a hangover from hell and a blaring cellphone, and immediately wishes for death. He is feeling absolutely shit.
He has to keep an arm over his face as he reaches for the phone blindly.
“Hello,” he croaks.
“...It’s 11 in the morning.” Geralt says on the other side, in lieu of greeting like a normal fucking person.
“What do you want?”
“Are you home? Ciri said you had a work thing last night, and if I just woke you up-”
“I’m home. Does Cirilla need a change of clothing?” He had told his obstinate child the weather would be too warm for winter wear this weekend, but her head was quite hard. If he was feeling slightly better he might be feeling vindicated at this moment.
“Yeah. I'll be over in fifteen.”
___
Emhyr is waiting on the porch as Geralt finally makes his appearance. He had barely made it to his position at the top of the steps, and was just contemplating attempting the descent when he catches Geralt’s judgemental expression through the windshield. Fuck that, he decides, as he plops the bag of clothes down next to him, resolved to make Mr Well Adjusted climb up the stairs his goddamned self if he wants to be super dad so bad.
He is well aware of what he must look like in that moment, but he is quite convinced that Geralt should be grateful he has at least managed to greet him freshly showered (he’d spent ten minutes under the water leaning with his head against the wall), with a towel around his waist and a bathrobe on his back.
As Geralt comes sauntering up the driveway, looking mean and fit and totally sober, Emhyr takes a fortifying drag of his cigarette. He has to close his eyes as he expels the smoke, since the sight of the rapidly moving white particles past his face might just have him give in to the temptation to ruin Geralt’s day by vomiting all over him.
“Ciri said you quit.” the dickhead rumbles.
“It shall be our little secret.” Emhyr answers in the most condescending tone he can manage in his impaired state. He points to the bag at his feet, and is rewarded by a flash of irritation on Geralt’s face.
As the other man stomps up the steps, Emhyr experiences a moment of regret for not just tossing the bag at him, when he sees Mr Fitness' eyes linger on his soft belly. Instead, he affects the unbothered, and leans his arm on the banister next to him, trying his best to look self assured despite still very much feeling like shit. He maintains the pose until Geralt gets back into his hideously dilapidated vehicle.
__
In the perfectly serviceable and actually quite well maintained truck, Geralt frantically reaches for his cellphone as he takes up his place behind the wheel. He struggles to pull his eyes away from the half naked man now sashaying to the porch couch to drape himself over it, porno style.
“Yen,” he says, as the woman in question picks up his call, “I swear to GOD Emhyr is trying to seduce me. Can you believe that!!??”
#traditional art#the witcher fanart#the witcher 3#the witcher#emhyr var emreis#emhyr#duny#emperor emhyr#modern au#witcher au#Geralt#geralt of rivia#emhyr x geralt#geralt z rivii#witcher geralt#Emhyr: suffering and miserable#Geralt: “Thats hot”#Geralt is me coded fr#witcher fanart#Witcher art#witcher fanfiction#Witcher fic
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a hug for eskel and geralt maybe 👉👈??
"Hey stranger." Eskel's voice rumbles through Geralt's back, "You did a quick runner after the ceremony, everything alright?" He can smell the tears, but isn't going to mention them until Geralt does, until he turns round, scrubbing his hands across his eyes like he did when they were kids and he'd finished another courtly romance novel he'd dug out of the library.
"Yeah, shit, didn't realise anyone had noticed." He leans against Eskel's broad chest and just breathes. "Just didn't think I'd see this."
Eskel knows what he means; further up the pathway is the palace, grand and bedecked for a wedding. Ciri may not have married the woman she loved, but she'd married the man she was at least inordinately fond of, and who understood where her heart really lay. Between the three of them, they'd be happy, and strong, and that's the last step before Emhyr finally hands over control to her.
This is the last step before Geralt loses Ciri for good, in many ways.
"She'll always be our feral little wolf," he murmurs, pulling Geralt tight against his chest.
Geralt nestles in, tucking his head under Eskel's chin, arms looped around his waist. "I know. And she swears she'll visit..."
"But this is the end of an era."
Geralt nods against him.
"The start of something new, Wolf. Something just for us." He presses a kiss to Geralt's head and keeps holding on. They'll rejoin the celebrations eventually, but holding his love is where he needs to be.
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The Witcher Netflix's Emhyr Shrine
(RANT INCOMING, NSFW)
Recently finished watching season 3 of the TWN and I took about twenty psychic damage upon seeing what looked like a statue of Emhyr. (S3E8)
one. He looks like a random philosopher. (kinda feels like the statue is mid-shrug saying 'yeah i just invaded the northern realms. what are you going to do about it?')
two. If his men/Impera Brigade have a fan club/gossip sessions, this is the club hangout
three. Uh. my brain immediately went 'hey what if his men fucked him kneeling in front of his own statue? wouldn't that be fun?'
the thought of Emhyr being fucked (desecrated because it’s a SHRINE??) at the base of his own statue is… 🤭 a desperate mess at the foot of the idealised version of him…
And so, like any fanfic writer, I fired up the episode to scour for, ah, details and -
WHAT ARE THESE TABLES, NETFLIX? ARE WE AT A CAR BOOT SALE? THIS IS WHERE THE BUDGET RAN OUT?
(it really irks me that this room looks so low budget because if you were going to imply that the white flame thing is a cult, which fine, I can get behind that for smut reasons, why would they treat their shrine this poorly? surely, it would be richly decorated? this is giving community hall with trestle tables hastily set up for a bake sale!)
no wonder this was the only shot of the whole room!!! it looks so bad!!! it really ruins the immersion!!!
they can't fuck their emperor on that, one thrust and the entire thing collapses!!! think of the health and safety regulations!
(yes, the amount of candles is also an issue but reduce the number of candles and they can have some fun with wax play. what? you're telling me the white flame is afraid of a little hot wax? surely not?
And now I can’t stop thinking about Emhyr having ritual sex in front of his shrine. His men fucking him before they depart to battle like a good luck ritual, Emhyr over sensitised, fucked nearly senseless at the base of his statue, his men kneeling to worship him 🥰🫶
maybe they’re only allowed to fuck their emperor when they win.
maybe Emhyr’s not allowed to get himself off outside of marital sex to create an heir or being fucked senseless on his own altar. (insert flimsy religious reasoning here- orgasms allowed for duty only?)
OH and the flags here look like an afterthought, nilfs, get your shit together and iron those flags!!! during pride month of all things??? why are they propped up on the walls like that? hang em properly! at least emhyr can use them to help clean up i guess, they're not getting more rumpled.
also, the half-arsed stained glass here pisses me off. you can't even see it because there's a little bit at the top of the window and that's it! but that's just me loving the aesthetics of stained glass.
(also, since stained glass in private residences was a way of showing wealth, it would have been really cool to see a depiction of the sun/emhyr/the var emreis lineage/ the empire in stained glass or as a mural!)
and yes, I was trying to get a clear shot of the guards standing behind Emhyr's throne because I'm fully accepting them as Impera Brigade guards.
I do love that Netflix gave the guards stationed near Emhyr unique fancier armour than the other guards in the palace though!
(BUT WHY DID EMHYR NOT GET OTHER OUTFIT CHANGES? HE'S ROYALTY, WHY IS HE LIVING IN PLATE ARMOUR? ALSO, why is he wearing NORMAL TROUSERS with PLATE ARMOUR?)
I did like the roman columns and architecture here though, that was a nice touch but i felt like it didn't quite fit with the rest of the nilfgaardian theme... It just feels like it doesn't belong in this city:
I just... was not a fan. reminded me of brutalist architecture (i can see why they might have been going for that but just didn't like it for nilfgaard) and of mayan temples?? giving house Harkonnen from dune
OH AND THIS THING. This goddamn carriage...
I RECOGNISE THAT THIS IS SUCH A SILLY GRIPE OKAY, such a silly gripe, but I absolutely HATED the carriage Francesca and Fringilla were in. It looked like it was decorated by an amateur drama production. The metal beads, the shoddy paintwork, it looks so CHEAP.
WHY ARE THERE NO WINDOWS? IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD GLASS, JUST MAKE IT SO THERE ARE NO WINDOWS, which would make sense safety-wise for a carriage transporting the queen of the elves and sorceress???
Mimi looked amazing as ever though. Francesca/Fringilla toxic yuri :))) I loved seeing her pop up through the season and I can't wait to see her in S4.
Anyway. All that said, I do genuinely enjoy watching TWN, I appreciate them for making Emhyr so very fuckable even though he looks nothing like what I expected, (why is he so young. and pretty. I like it but. can we take the beard off. please?) and I will be tuning in for the new season.
I'm quite excited for Liam as Geralt, rooting for him.
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3, 6, 8 for the da meme ❤️ - korn
questions here
luv u konrnrnrnrnyyyyy
3. Opinion on blood magic?
Briseis Amell is a bonafide blood magic user, particularly when combining it with her regular healing capabilities. Also, due to being a Grey Warden and having that early introduction to the benefits of longevity, alleviating some blight symptoms, and working with Avernus, it's just a part of her life. However, Briseis does take a hard stance on being responsible for what the type of magic can offer someone, much like every other school, and within her own sect of the wardens, she makes a point of checking in, not crossing lines, etc.
(this got very long, my Hawke and Inquis below)
Calanthe Hawke did start to use it towards the end of her time in Kirkwall, but she kind of wishes she didn't as she feels tied to it. Whilst she doesn't blame that magic for what happened, because Calanthe does know rationally that there was so much other shit happening all around it wasn't just the blood magic, it did still play such a big part in a lot of personal tragedies that she's... more on the side of ambivalent, but pretty hesitant at all times. If it could just be kept away from her, she'd feel a lot better about it - hear, see, speak, etc.
Emhyr Trevelyan sits in the area of "it's interesting, it has it's uses (much like most other spirit-, fade- or time-related magics) but I want to observe from far, far away." Before being herald, she was having those educated discussions about uses and other variations, with input from other mages around the Marches - but it was purely discussions in controlled environments. After seeing it in practice, especially with how it was used within the ranks of Red Templars and on wardens, she's more on the side of it should be theoretical, left alone, should be kept in the history books as a bad idea.
6. Attitude towards the Qun?
Briseis has no issue with the Qun, even before after spending time in Par Vollen with Sten. To her, it is just simply another fact of living in Thedas, and she sees no true difference between the Qun and their "atrocities" as the Chantry. Does she think certain things could or should be changed? Absolutely. But Briseis has already lived under the control of one religious organisation, and she has more concerns with that one, anyway.
Calanthe took a lot of time to come to terms with what happened with the Arishok. Whilst she now knows and recognises it was not related to the faith, and there were many moving pieces involved for Seamus and the Viscount's own deaths, and with Tome of Koslun being a trophy of a war long past with Orlais, including Tevinter wishing to snatch it out from under them... Calanthe knows. What she takes issue with more is just how many agents there are, especially after meeting Tallis. For her, it's conflating an organisation with a religion, and she distrusts the organisation part more as she has very little trust for strangers.
Emhyr's interactions with anything related to the Qun has left overall confused and uncertain. Iron Bull was incredibly open with discussions of the faith and life within the Qun, and there are many aspects she finds poetic regarding it. However, after a few assassination attempts and what happened with Viddasala while she was at her honestly most hurt and terrified state, it's made her uncertain. She doesn't care at the end about the infiltration of the Inquisition, and Emhyr came around to that idea fairly quickly as it made sense (after all, she would likely have done the same were she in the position of having a large army amassing on home and land). But it was just the way the faith was spun into it, and the fear and determination from Viddasala. It was actually quite awe-inspiring, as she had been grappling for some time with her own crisis of faith.
8. Who do they hate the most, and do they have an arch-nemesis?
Briseis has a bone to pick with just about every single person in Thedas, if she's being honest. She doesn't have anyone she outright hates that much, though. Maybe whoever momentarily gets in her way of retirement. Generally, she's gathered that much notoriety and reverence that by now if someone tries to go after her for anything in particular, it's not the fun kind of death wish like what Zevran experienced. She's being serious this time.
Calanthe hates the ogre who killed Bethany, and Flemeth for ferrying them to the harbour, and her mother for insisting they go back to Kirkwall, and her father for dying, and Varric for getting her involved in the expedition, Carver for being happy with a purpose in the wardens, and Anders for not being honest, and Isabela for stealing the Tome, and Merrill for poking holes in her concerns, and Fenris for being right, and Sebastian for leaving, and Kirkwall for being a shitty place that refuses to burn down, and Meredith for letting her fear win, and Orsino for helping the man who killed her mother, and Viscount Dumar for never listening at all, and she hates her magic and how she was never capable of saying 'no' and how it's her fault for not seeing the signs and oh, yeah, she hates that asshole ancestor Parthalan, for cursing her bloodline with magic in the first place. Most of all she hates herself.
Emhyr actually kind of hates Andraste. It's weird, conflated with her own crisis of faith and her own initial belief in the title placed on her head. But when she thinks back to it all, her problems began with that one person. Her faith is skewed because of the realities, her order is scattered because of powerful interests, and there is no beauty in it anymore. She knows she was one of the lucky few mages who did not suffer at the hands of those in charge, and she found such a serene grounding in the Chantry. But it's all ruined, and she blames Andraste for it. Oh, and, maybe the other mages and templars who revolted, and Enchanter Lydia for getting in her way, and those mages in Redcliffe who cast her out, and her family for closing the door on her when she went to seek shelter after the Circle fell. But they're nothing compared to how Emhyr hates Andraste.
#replies#oc: briseis amell#oc: calanthe hawke#oc: emhyr trevelyan#woe curse of self loathing and religious crises be upon all . except warden.#somehow th emost well adjusted person in thedas.
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for the character ask game: Vernon Roche
i gotta think about this! thank you
first impression: i actually remember this pretty well because witcher 2 was my first exposure to the franchise. i think i felt pretty much what i was supposed to feel though; "this guy imprisoned me but seems more sensible than the goons he employs". i liked his matter-of-fact but clearly proud and protective attitude towards Ves and his putting the key on the table and walking away like 'surely Geralt will manage'.
impression now: i still like him! surprisingly, cdpr writes original characters with really commendable nuance. of course, if Iorveth is to be believed word for word, Roche is responsible for carrying out hate crimes (he doesn't deny the accusations Iorveth makes, so i think that's just fact), and yet he shows time and time again that he really is more sensible than most. compare him to Rayla - also a special forces leader - and see the difference. Roche lacks the outright bloodthirst or really even the prejudice; it seems to me that he does his job and obeys Foltest without objection because he sees it as doing something worthwhile with his life, considering how he grew up. he and Iorveth contrast and parallel each other in fascinating ways.
favorite thing about him: his relationship towards Ves, because he clearly values her as an employee and as a person. his relative level-headedness. and the unpacked daddy issues that are most definitely there even if he won't talk about it. that part of him is sadly the most relatable to me. i also enjoy his humor, whether intentional or not. "emhyr var emreis, spice merchant" bursting into the elven baths while Triss is trying her hardest to seduce Geralt, fucking comedy gold.
least favorite thing about him: apart from the hate crimes? i think most of my issues that relate to him are metatextual - because the entire political landscape and plotline of witcher 3 sucks ass. maybe he could've held back the cops that beat Geralt though ngl.
favorite line/scene: "And we did. For three days. Then they smashed us into splinters." again, as much as i dislike the politics in witcher 3, this bit stands out to me. maybe also because it's punctuated by a reprise of the second game's main theme, in 3's instrumentation and a much more somber mood. good scene. that and the funny bits. "Some professional you are..."
favorite interaction he has with another character: it should be mainly credited to Letho's absolutely hilarious one-liner, but their little reunion at Kaer Morhen always gets a chuckle out of me. the entire interrogation at the beginning of witcher 2 is up there too.
a character that i wish he would interact with more: in the second game, elves in general. he mostly proves he's not completely shit-headed in context, but it would've been interesting to see him have a conversation with someone like Cedric. third game should've had Iorveth, we all know that.
another character from another fandom that reminds me of him: i know 5 things, but if i had to make a comparison... general Tullius from Skyrim? both are very capable and dedicated servants of a government despite its obvious failures and both show a noticeable sensibility or even calm you perhaps wouldn't expect. both have a badass lady as their right-hand person, too.
a headcanon about him: he hates the smell of cheap alcohol. childhood reminder. i also think he has a notable appreciation for architecture. can't remember if he actually comments on Loc Muinne in any way but somehow it feels like a thing he'd do. and i think it's pretty much canon that his hair color is towards light brown? or have i been living with fanon for far too long. either way, yeah, dirty blonde or warm light brown, super short on the sides.
a song that reminds of him: Shadowplay by Joy Division, in a way. first verse about beginning to serve Foltest, second verse about Foltest's and Temeria's fall. "but i could only stare in disbelief as the crowds all left" versus "and we did, for three days, then they smashed us into splinters".
an unpopular opinion about him: i famously dislike shipping him with Iorveth and i'm actually yet to see a good Roche ship. but the real hot take is that he doesn't need one. did i just say aroace Vernon Roche? maybe.
favorite picture: i'm sorry, but it's gotta be this one. on a more serious note, i always liked this piece of fanart a lot too. he gets to be cool.
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ciri/roche except everyone, fic
Geralt had assured her that Emhyr would not force her to follow his will, that he only wished to talk, but she’d heard all of that before. She could guess what his designs were for her. He had no heir but her, after all. If she was foolish enough to stay in Nilfgaard, she could expect to be married off within the year.
“Do you aim to court me, Vernon?” she asked, and he blinked at her in further surprise. His eyes were icy-brown, the dark kohl at his lids paling them further. “You’re asking an awful lot of irrelevant, personal questions. Isn’t the Emperor waiting?”
“Forgive me, my lady,” said Roche, ducking his head. “I’ve heard a great deal about you and only wished to know more. Your father speaks of you very highly.”
“My father died at sea when I was young,” Ciri said. “I hardly remember him. If he were to have fond memories of his daughter, he’d be remembering a little girl. Do I look like a little girl, Vernon?"
“No, my lady.”
“I’ve done some horrible, debauched things that would curl your Emperor's hair. I wonder if he’d speak so highly of me if he knew them? And you, Vernon, what if I answered you truthfully? Would you regret seeking to know me? I’d think so. No, I know so.”
Roche averted his gaze, his haughty excitement having wholly deflated. Ciri felt almost bad about it. He’d not been unpleasant to her.
damn, this shit sucks, why did u butcher it like that
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I never cared for Roche/Ciri because simply I didn't know the pairing prior to you yammering at me. — You're lying. Because the Droid told you about them and what kind of shit they are
Droid only talked about Emhyr back in the day. And how would you know what Droid and I talked about? Do the little voices in your heard talk to you again? Please get your meds, and see your doctor.
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i've definitely said it before but cahir is literally put through like a RIDICULOUS amount of consecutive shit without even a single break. imagine youre like freshly 18 and the guy whose army you are in a surprisingly high position in due to your noble status is like "cahir i need you to patrol cintra while we fucking siege it and get this princess" and youre like "ok emperor who i work for!" only to find out through experience the princess you're capturing is like 10 years old. so you're panicking and not sure what you're even going to do with her if you ARE going to bring her back to the emperor at all and you bring her to some nearby refugees so you can both blend in. thats cool right? WRONG
because ACTUALLY you fall asleep and she, panicked after having passed out before she realized you weren't actively trying to hurt her, runs away, and so when you wake up you're hounded by the other guys in that army you're in for the location of the girl and you're like first of all i don't know SECOND OF ALL WE'RE WORKING FOR A BAG OF DICKS!!! so naturally they put you in prison for talking shit and then you're just in prison
BUT WAIT
you have one single opportunity to redeem yourself because you're like the only living easily accessible person on the continent who knows what the princess looks like, so you're brought out for princess kidnapping round 2 electric boogaloo because like it's that or get literally executed so the whole kidnapping thing sounds great actually. but actually it's NOT because now she has witcher training and for some reason after knocking your helmet off she spares your life after kicking the collective ass of the elves you've been saddled with which. okay
so then said elves are like "well time to take this guy back to emhyr" because they don't fw humans and also you're literally going crazy talking about some dreams related to the princess you're having now so they don't really wanna fuck around with keeping you alive so they tie you up in a coffin and just sell you to like. some random ass guy. and then some people come by and free you but actually uh oh! it's the princess's adoptive father (and company) and they mercifully spare your life but tell you to fucking scram but actually these dreams you're having are getting worse and you really gotta know what the deal with those things is so you get yourself a shitty little horse and you follow them
right so you catch up to them once and they tell you to fuck off again but like you literally can't go anywhere else because you are a nilfgaardian soldier slated for execution meaning BOTH sides of the war want you dead so you keep following these people, except at one point you get ambushed and your horse runs off so you have to follow them ON FOOT. which is fine and you do eventually catch up and perform a good deed to get yourself wormed into the group so all is good right?
WRONG AGAIN!!!! the direction you're heading you need to cross a bridge to avoid fighting but UH OH looks like the fighting is already on the bridge!! DOUBLE UH OH, obviously the fighting is the north vs. nilfgaard so now you have to willingly and openly betray the army you served in while literally recognizing some of the people fighting for their side during the fight. then you somehow get enlisted into the rivian army and become the only person in the entire war to have fought on both sides and also deserted from both sides.
right but NOW you're definitely in the clear right???? WRONG AGAIN your gang has another member now but the initial guy who hated you because you were under orders to kidnap his daughter is trying to accuse you of betraying the group somehow and you literally beat the shit out of eachother to the point you have to get physically pulled apart. but at least that dynamic is settled now. so you go on and do some more shit and it seems like it's going to be fine
BUT ACTUALLY then you get a severe head wound that means you have to stay back and get care from the same guy who was going to beat the shit out of you and you're just there in a cave delirious for a few days saying whatever shit pops into your head and then suddenly another member of your group shows up and then the first guy just vanishes so the two of you have to meet up with the rest of the group alone and on your 1 shitty horse that you had with you but AT LEAST WE'RE OKAY NOW RIGHT?
NO!!!! because you have to stop in touissant which seems super nice at first but almost immediately it sucks because you're constantly hounded for attention by people you don't like and it's very clear this whole situation is just a trap and it takes ALL WINTER to leave touissant and you're miserable the entire time and anyway then you fucking trudge through a massive blizzard towards your ultimate goal and it's like woah surely now that we've all made it to this place we need to be at things will be okay right WELL THINK AGAIN BECAUSE YOU FUCKING DIE
and thats not even it either because you spent your entire life telling people actually youre not a nilfgaardian youre actually from vicovaro and then when people talk about you posthumously they literally only call you the nilfgaardian in the hansa, and then all 3 of the alive members of the group collectively forget the group ever existed rip forever cahir never gets a single moment of peace
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An Offer You Can’t Refuse Update!
New chapter here.
Teaser:
He tried not to think about the shadows reflected in Jaskier’s eyes on the night everything had gone to shit. It was the sort of madness that hinted at losing control entirely. Somehow Jaskier hadn’t collapsed beneath the weight of that rage, continuing to prove his strange loyalty by hunting Hayes.
Geralt forced himself to focus on something besides the mixture of guilt and longing roiling in his gut. He didn’t want to think about the last words they’d said to one another or the accusations he’d made when Jaskier reached out. His wolf told him that Jaskier was pack, but his human knew it wouldn’t be that simple. If he offered Jaskier his bite, the other packs would see it as offering his support to the rogue and potentially even harboring the Fenris. It would shatter any hope of peace.
“Yennefer cleared the bar,” Lambert said, walking over to meet them at the front of Kaer Morhen. “There’s no sigils she can sense, but the cameras are all fucked. Someone spray painted over the exterior lenses.”
“Could you smell anyone?” Eskel asked.
Lambert shrugged. “Just ash and iron.”
Which meant it was Nilgaard. Emhyr was growing bold in his preparations.
Geralt turned to Eskel. “Tell Coen to lock down the compound,” he ordered. “Nilfgaard is going to make a play tonight. Keep all the pups together–they’re not ready for a full assault.”
“What about you?” Eskel asked. “It’s a lot easier to take down a pack if their alpha is dead.”
The alpha rolled his shoulders in a shrug and met Lambert’s eyes in silent communication. He gave a little smirk at his brothers. “That’s why I have you two, isn’t it?”
There was a small moment where they looked at one another, tracking the changes of years spent fighting at each other’s side. Each face held new lines of strain and the smallest glint of silver beginning at the edges of each temple. New scars and new fears hidden beneath broad shoulders and golden eyes. Wordlessly, Lambert reached out to rest a hand on each shoulder, scenting the both and smiling faintly when his gesture was returned. Whatever rifts had lingered between them felt insignificant compared to the brightness of the bonds burning in their chest, the fierce love shining in their eyes.
“If we go down, we go down together,” Eskel said and the other two nodded in agreement, cementing the words like a sacred oath.
#modern au#werewolf au#werewolf mates#protective Eskel#protective geralt#angst#Angst with a happy ending#hurt/comfort#hurt geralt#my stuff#geraskier#geraltxjaskier#geralt/jaskier#jaskier/geralt#laiden#lambert x aiden#soulmates#the witcher
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I seem to have an elevated need to communicate my head stuff today, so here comes the next manifesto:
my headcanon Emhyr
First of all, a very strong appeal is the "worst father ever" to "mutual loving relationship" development with Ciri. It's central to my needs because my father was shit and actively despised me from about elementary school age on. He's been dead for 23 years but even if he was still alive I don't think he'd ever have made an effort to change his attitude towards me. So this is like kids of divorced parents watching Parent Trap on loop, I drink up the fantasy of paternal love. Not the first time either, was very much into Fringe once.
I also massively project on Emhyr with the lack of social skills. Yeah he has major trauma but for me he's also never been ye olde neurotypical person. He masks and The Emperor is his main mask. He was told he was to be emperor so when his world shattered into pieces that's what he kept clinging to and when he made it work, he just emperored as hard as he could (which is brutally hard). I've worked into my current WIP that he expected people to follow orders without taking into consideration how they'd do it, to explain his reckless disregard of sending rabid bloodhounds after his child.
The Emperor persona comes with strict social protocols and scripts so that's a very good mask. (I.e. "if I say x, you'll have to say y, I know how to handle this, yay") It tickles me that Geralt just never correctly responds to those protocols, doesn't bow, doesn't defer, says exactly what he's thinking. So for me that results in Emhyr getting little "tilt" signs in his eyes and he reacts with anger and irrational decisions (trying to explain away TW3 stuff here). And in my HC also with fascination - because I can and no-one can stop me.
In "The Gentleman..." I made Geralt learn that Emhyr's bluntness most often is just him being himself, and I like it that they are very similar in that but sometimes lack the selfawareness to see that.
Geralt thought, a little giddy, that he wasn't sure if that was a deliberate display of dominance or just his usual blunt self, but either was good and there was a lot of overlap. He probably was so very good at the first because of the latter.
I've also written him as depressed... (because Geralt left without saying bye)
"Emhyr felt like the day had gone on for several years. One of those days. Maybe it would be good to shove it all at Cirilla and... leave. Die, probably."
...and demi-ace (in the "Boxed" stories, which could be better, well whatever) - again: because I could.
I think it's funny how he actually tends to fuck up CONSTANTLY, both in the books and TW3, but we still usually eat up the "brilliant strategist" BS in our fics, like we're falling for his propaganda even though we're not even in his fictional universe. He gets kinda vetinaried, and I don't think it's just the voice. But alright, I'm there for it and I'm participating.
I'm not fine with romanticising colonialism though, it's a major beef I have with the Astolat stories. Emhyr's done fucked up shit, the wars are absolutely part of it and he has not "liberated" the invaded countries to let them "participate in the imperial glory", ffs, colonialism people, I can't even with the fash undertones of "bringing civilisation". My approach is: Ciri's doing things better now but no apologies for Emhyr's warmongery. Little meow meow: yes. Has done nothing wrong: no.
Alright, I guess that answers all the questions nobody ever had.
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watched witcher 3x03 and it really is just like. this show continues to lurch wildly from scene to unconnected scene. which could work if they were written and costumed and acted well enough that each vignette was compelling in its own right, so that you wanted to keep watching even though nothing quite hangs together or makes sense yet? but they really. aren't.
and they keep introducing all these bit characters, i guess in an attempt to convey that geralt has History and Connections, but it's just feeling to me like, why are we foregrounding all these interactions that should have been background. did i really need to learn all these names.
also i continue to feel like ciri is just. too old. like fundamentally you can't take the naïveté and petulance of a child, or teenager at most, and paste them unaltered onto a twenty-something and expect to garner the same level of sympathy for her! also like. minor point but if they're on the run would she really be religiously applying her clumpy little maybelline every morning. she looks more overtly made up than most of the adult characters on the show, and like, i know we're in fantasyland and not any actual specific historical time period but it does feel distractingly anachronistic to me nonetheless.
also like. you're really asking me to believe that surly taciturn traumatized geralt would open up to this random 'friend of his mother's' about his childhood. like. i get that, again, we're attempting to establish that Geralt Has History, but like. you can't just have him infodump without any consideration of what he's like or who he's talking to??? like—i understand that we basically gave up on any notion of consistent characterization for him, or even a clear throughline to an evolving characterization, after s1, but. why is he opening up to this random druidess as if she were yennefer. what is happening.
like do i want to see jaskier's big gay romance (which based on radovid's beleaguered-weasel characterization so far i cannot imagine doing anything but going up in flames in the back half of the season??? like, clearly radovid is going to fuck them over the second he's caught in a political bind, the only question imo is whether jaskier also fucks them over)? yes. but is the rest of this worth sitting through? extremely debatable.
did love vespula's dress, ditto jaskier's costuming. also yennefer's struggle to balance who she knows how to be in an aretuzan context vs who she wants to be for ciri (and for herself?) was compelling (although, again, i'm really struggling to buy the idea of her as mother to ciri when the two actresses have, like, a seven-year age difference. like i get that it's found family and not literal but. it just doesn't ring true, i'm sorry). but on the whole this really was just. a jumble.
also emhyr is just not icily intimidating enough. like he's supposed to be this always-five-steps-ahead omnipotent manipulator or whatever, as i understand it, but even setting other versions of canon aside, this version of the story needs him to be that! and instead he's like. a potatoface in a molded plastic breastplate. action figure villain.
also okay this really is the last thing but. what is up with all this 'the evil mages all have their faces grotesquely burnt off' shit. can we not do better by real live people with facial differences than that.
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For the ask meme! Imma go with 18, 19, 29
And there’s my third usual asker. ❤️❤️
18 The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?
Emhyr var Emreis, that snooty high class fucker. I spent so much time going to Ky and being like “did I do good with Emhyr? 🥺👉👈” Thank the gods for them and their patience. 😂❤️
19 What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?
One?? You want me to choose one?? 😂 Welll…If I have to choose one, not one I’ve done already (publicly), I think I’d say Lambert/Eskel. I started a little with them already and I’m really into this little shit/loving dork dynamic. Delving into anger and low self-esteem and the differences in shared experiences could be so fun. I’m looking forward to that, if I can get into it.
29 Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?
This requires me remembering anything I’ve ever written. I’d much rather ask everyone else their favorite. 😂
Uhh, here’s a non-public passage I enjoyed writing for an unfinished rockstar Jaskier, groupie Geralt au. Really showing the thirst and appreciation for music both.
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@emmettxthorne
he knew patrick wasn't the one who messed up on the evidence front, so his little outburst earlier ... had been unjustified, which didn't quite let him focus on the current task at hand... just yet. then again, one more stop before he was headed back to the office... couldn't be that terrible, could it? oh, if only he knew. when he stepped inside the mall, he didn't realize yet that the whiplash smacking him across the face when he reached the security office ... & a very familiar - yet not, scent hit his nose.
shark.
not patrick.
....but shark.
shit. of course. just his damn luck. his heart going a hundred miles and hour because of what? shark. he couldn't help it. his one true weakness. the sting.. he felt.. was no one he enjoyed, though. deep breath. fingers held up in front of him, trembling, but that stopped soon when he balled them into a fist to knock. the door opened & he ..swallowed, tongue lolling out to wet nervous lips. get a damn grip. "mr. thorne? i'm nathan gray, i've been assigned the emhyr case." disturbance at the mall. there had been injured. nathan was supposed to see to it that that didn't happen again.
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Totally understand that's your personal trauma, just don't think all people should follow your statements. Pedophilia is always bad and the criminals must be punished. But also human hearts are more deeper than this simple story. My condolences, I'm really sorry.
It's not my own trauma, but someone else's. And there is not just one person who suffers from that trauma. Pavetta is a REPRESENTATION.
It's dangerous to portray Emhyr and Pavetta as something that can be accepted as a loving relationship because this is the shit that happens every day even in today's society. and thinking 'aww maybe he loves her' is what often leads to these girls not getting the help they desperately need. pavetta didn't get the help she needed when she needed it and died because of it
she was 14, a defenceless child, and when adults were supposed to protect her, the only one who try and do that was calanthe. everyone else, INCLUDING EIST AND GERALT, were all like 'oh yeah a promise has to be kept let her choose for herself uwu'
it's even more accentuated in polish. where the narrator calls pavetta 'little girl' multiple times
we can't forget that emhyr's relationship with pavetta was 100% planned, 100% calculated, and he knew exactly what to do and where to strike to captivate her right away. he himself says even in question of price that he has been 'watching her grow' from the shadows, waiting for the right moment to strike.
there is really no basis in canon to believe that he loved her. You have the right to believe that for yourself, but there is no canon evidence whatsoever that he acted, even before himself, or even that he ever actually cared for or loved Pavetta, except for obviously him saying that in Question of Price. And there is no real reason to believe in one instance he was more likely to lie over the other instance.
I base my belief on the fact the narrator in the saga is reliable. Because it was not proven to be unreliable in the past. And if the narrator is a reliable narrator, then Emhyr lied about keeping Pavetta alive, but did NOT lie about never loving her.
And in the end, if he did have some feelings for her, even briefly, does it really matter, if in the end he groomed, manipulated, used and murdered her for the vision of fathering the King of the World with their own daughter?
If anything, I think it would make him worse if he was able to 1) fall in love with a 14 year old little girl 2) kill all the feelings he had for her in favor of power and raping their very own daughter.
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