#embrace despair

[sangrefae]

just two little guys burdened with the weight of an impossible task borne by their paternal figure's deepest fears, eventually leading to them being corrupted by the pressure of those expectations ❤️

[pegasusdrawnchariots]

Odysseus' reintegration into the world bound by mortal limitations foregrounds both his age and the distance he has traveled. The shipwrecked sailor who manages to crawl ashore naked on Scheria, bereft of companions, possessions, any token of identity — of all but the bare ember of vitality (cf. 5.488-90 — a lonely spark in a pile of ashes) — meets the young Nausikaa, whose life (like that of Telemachus) is just opening to the possibilities before her. The scene in which Odysseus, awakened by sounds that evoke in him fears of hostile men, faces instead a group of teenage girls playing ball, is both comic and poignant as it measures the difference between their expectations and stages of experience. Later, as he is challenged to compete in an athletic contest, Odysseus acknowledges the toll that age and journeying inevitably take. This is not, then, the epic of the beautiful death (one way to read the Iliad (e.g., see Vernant 1991: 50-74)) but the epic of timeworn, embraceable life.

John Miles Foley, A Companion to Ancient Epic, 2005.

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

I’m scared because I’ve lived my life wanting to die most of the time, and now that I don’t ...

[anonzentimes]

how do people that dont immediately fall in love with nagitos character do it like chapter 1 he was so polite and nice i literally didnt wanna spend time with any other character, i caught on that nagito was responsible for SOMETHING before the first trial started and was genuenly so terrified he killed twogami cause i didnt want him to die, and then he had his breakdown and i was like yeah this is my favorite character in the entire series (i was still pissed at him for the rest of the trial lmfao

OH MY GOSH SAME!!! Like, everyone has a different experience, but as someone who loved him from day ONE I don't understand the experience of only eventually loving him lol. Even just people not loving his very existence and mannerisms is so different compared to me that I get confused! Finding him annoying sounds miserable I love him very much and not having him to hyper fixate on no, no, not having his impact on my life PERIOD would change my life drastically and I'd say for the worse. He's been so influential to so many parts of my life and continues to be such a fun brain worm consistently. I feel pity for those who can't experience the joy of his character and how happy he makes me, I know that there's no one with the exact impacts he's had on my life because he's so special to me.

At the time I saw Danganronpa 2 I was pretty depressed and every day felt the same, I was so miserable most of the time and was getting burnt out of life. I was loving Danganronpa though, I loved the first game and it gave me something to look forward to every day.

For Danganronpa 2 I had heard about Nagito, I knew he was popular but I didn't know why. I thought he'd be a major character so when he was just chill at first I was surprised. I was suspicious of him but that still didn't stop me from really liking him, my favorite from the first game was Makoto so his parallels and personality were really nice, fun, and interesting but I still was suspicious if there was more. When his breakdown happened my suspicion fell and instead of feeling conflicted and getting more suspicious it all made sense to me. He was so interesting and different, I loved everything about him and I wanted to understand him. It's kind of embarrassing but, it genuinely did help me at the time. After feeling as if every day felt the same in a weird helpless cycle my emotions about him were extreme enough that I loved that I was even feeling something which added to my love for him.

I saw the rest of Danganronpa 2 in 5 days because I was so invested and got a headache at Chapter 6, I cried at his death and it's the most I've cried at any specific media in recent years that I can remember lmao. I wanted to understand him more so I watched videos and read his wikis, I watched his free time events, I set him as all my profile pictures and wallpapers so I could have something that made me feel happy, I learned to draw him and his hair and he's all I wanted to draw which helped me improve, I joined the fandom early and met crucial people to my life before I finished the rest of the franchise because I loved him specifically so much, I got pinterest specifically so I could find more art of him, I read the komahina wiki just because I wanted to understand him more which led me to start shipping things that weren't strictly said to be canon, I discovered the term hyper fixations and realized I was neurodivergent because of him, like I could go on all day with the list of impacts on my life because of him but you get the point. He's still the most extreme hyper fixation I've ever experienced lmao. He's a special interest and I can say without a doubt that he still remains to be such a positive influence to my life. I'm grateful to experience such passion and happiness from something like him, haha! My love for his character STILL is helping my life even now by allowing me to practice articulating things about him, which has led to being able to get better at articulation in general, which has led to being better at english even having fun with it now and being less overwhelmed because I can express myself.

Oh my gosh I went on a yap sesh my bad LMAO!! But my point is, my experience with him is very specific and probably biased. But even so, I struggle to understand those who have such a different experience from me with him since I loved him from the start and my love only grew and has never stopped. I'm biased and I'm sure people have other interests that make them just as happy as he makes me, but I still feel sorry for those who don't experience what I do with him. But in the end one of the main beautiful things about media is subjectivity, so I'm okay being able to be so grateful for his existence and how it makes me feel.

Got a bit personal and sentimental with this since you struck something I was already thinking about when you sent this haha, sorry I said I agree in the longest way possible like it was a yapping content LMAO... thank you for your ask! <3

[thelastspeecher]

This may come as a bit of a surprise, but I don't often cry at books. Even the ones that hit me the hardest and most deeply, I don't cry.

But the ending of The Sun and the Star of all things got to me and now I'm crying at work bc I decided to finish it on my lunch break.

[lanotteviene]

my beloved grandma died a few days ago so I’m trying to contain my tears on the way to the Christmas dinner…the mere thought of my cousins with teary eyes makes me want to bawl

[voidtheater]

I think that it's awesome and really funny that everyone finally accepted that Diana Chiem probably isn't real and decided to fill the offscreen sister-shaped hole in their hearts with Felicity Giles.

[heliosphere-underthesky]

☉ [SUN] Emperor Helios

2017 vs 2019 vs 2023

[lyricalchrysanthemum]

Thinking about. Bee and Cherry . Again

[killjoy-prince]

Have to keep telling myself "We're playing the bad guys in this run" whenever I come across a good option I want to pick

[darkstar84]

Wesley and Lilah were ultimate salvation after the loss of Darla, which meant no Dangel and Cangel was going through it, courtesy of certain forces that conspired against them. Three of favorite moments were Wesley calls what the two of them have a relationship and signs the dollar bill, when he burns her contract and when he talks to the hallucination version of Lilah; and later cuts off her head.

[void-tiger]

[grasps the endless like a bunch of colored pencils.]

[makes them become semi-functional siblings that realize they care about eachother even without being asked first, pay up later.]

[whentherewerebicycles]

good morning!! we slept in till 7:15 which was so nice—turns out it’s lovely to get up with the sun instead of in the middle of the night haha. my college best friend is on a long road trip so we chatted for an hour and a half early this morning. it was really good to catch up with her and I got a lot of little chores done around the house while we were on the phone (my fave way to do chores lol I can do literally any household task if I have a friend on the phone). it was drizzling off and on this morning but it’s become a lovely clear day so I’d like to get up and get out of the house.

but first I want to chat a little out loud in my public diary!! I’ve been really good about cooking this week and I was thinking that I want a major goal for the next year to be to get into really solid eating and cooking habits… and to really focus on developing a repertoire of simple, healthy meals that I can lean on during (fingers crossed) the first couple years of having a kid. I know that under stress I default to takeout + microwave meals but I’ve made sooooo much progress in reshaping my eating habits over the past five years and I don’t want to backslide too much. I will never be someone who cares deeply about food or is interested in preparing super complex meals, but I know that for me making food is a way of concretely demonstrating care for my body/self, and when I stop doing that it means I’m probably letting a lot of other things slide too.

I’ve also been journaling a lot about what I want the cornerstones of my parenting practice to be—like, those few core things that are so important to me I want to spend a lot of time consciously laying the groundwork for them now so that even if I’m under extreme stress I’m prepared to make decisions that are aligned with those core goals/tenets/whatever. I hope that in general as a parent I can be flexible and decently committed to not sweating the small stuff when it comes to most things, but I want those few foundational things to be really solid, yknow?? and one of those things is food. I had such an unhealthy and confused relationship with food for so long, partly because it’s just real fucking hard to grow up as a girl immersed in our country’s batshit crazy and deeply cruel diet culture! but also I just was so uninformed about nutrition and so limited in my palate (that American monodiet), all of which made me more susceptible to the pressures of extreme binge dieting. I think my parents did a lot of small things right (in terms of not letting us eat much fast food, never allowing soda or other high calorie drinks, placing limits on sweets etc) but I also know they were raised on that same Midwestern monodiet and didn’t have much (or any) exposure to alternative ways of eating.

I really want my kid(s) to have a healthier relationship with food than I did, to have an internalized understanding of the basic nutritional principles behind what they eat, to eat the same mostly plant-based whole food diet I eat, and to be involved in preparing yummy non-processed meals for themselves from a young age. but of course in order to do this I have to really solidify those habits in myself too and equip myself with the knowledge I need to pass that knowledge on! as I said I have made a LOT of progress on that front over the past few years, but I want to make those habit changes even more ingrained and automatic for myself. I was thinking about how to make this into a fun project for myself—like something where I can see tangible progress and create something in the process—and I think I’ve settled on making a little personal cookbook for myself where I try a new simple-to-make plant-based recipe each week, take a photo of the meal and print it out, and write out a recipe card that includes advice to myself (like, tips for simplifying prep or preparing ahead of time to save time or putting a little garnish on it to make it look prettier)… and I’ll also include a breakdown of the nutritional components of the meal (not calories but like: this is a veggie-heavy meal with some healthy fats, or this is a protein-heavy meal but here’s how you can add extra veggies or pair it with a lighter meal earlier in the day). and then I’ll put the “cards” into those clear plastic sheet covers and store them in a binder organized by type of meal. I also really want my child to be involved in preparing food from a young age (I literally did not learn how to do a single cooking thing beyond boiling water until after college) so maybe as I go I can also leave myself little sticky note ideas for simple parts of each meal that a small child could contribute to. that way when I’m tired and frazzled a few years down the road I don’t have to expend any cognitive energy on figuring that stuff out—I can just be like oh ok so here’s where a kid could chop something soft with a plastic knife or here’s where we could pause and measure something out together.

anyway I am having fun working on it already! I haven’t started making the cards yet (I want to test out some possible templates and maybe buy some cardstock paper & other supplies) but I’m having a great time experimenting with recipes this week. last night I had friends over for dinner and I made these delicious sweet potato pita pockets with this lightly pickled cucumber salad liz made for me a few weeks ago… all of which takes about 10 min to prep and 20 min to come together. and then for breakfast today I’ve been trying to find easy alternatives to the handful of processed foods I still eat regularly, so I looked up how to make oatmeal in a rice cooker and made myself delicious fresh apple cinnamon oatmeal without any added sugar or preservatives. I also made that sweet potato chickpea curry earlier this weekend which is a great “make it in bulk and eat it all week” meal that feels fancier and more complex than it really is. and I found this “prepare ahead” veggie power bowl recipe I’m excited to try where you can roast a wide variety of veggies and cook a grain in advance, then mix and match throughout the week based on what combos sound good any given night. I think that doing the nutritional breakdowns will also be a good learning experience for me—I have a health condition which puts me at higher risk of insulin resistance/diabetes and can also affect fertility, and this will be a good way for me to drill myself on the glycemic index & help me figure out which meals are best for managing blood sugar spikes.

anyway it should be fun!!! since moving I’ve found that one way to really motivate myself to explore this new area is to ask myself “what new place will I check out this week?” and then to make it a priority to try a new park. and then on the day to day level too I try to ask myself “what’s a new thing I can try today?”, so I’ll turn left instead of right on a walk and explore where that takes me. I am so intensely a creature of habit & routine that I think it’s really good for me to build a habit of trying new things—otherwise I’ll just do the same thing over and over by rote. I’m the same way with eating so I’m hoping the same principle applies here! if I can build a habit of “each week I try out a new thing!” I can broaden my horizons a bit… and maybe I can even do some “what’s a new thing I can try in this meal?” thinking too to encourage myself to like, idk, try different spices or ratios or make interesting substitutions just to see how it turns out. plus I’ll have a BOOK of things I made by the end!!! like even if I just try 1-2 new things per week for a year that’s 50-100 options I’ll have in my repertoire, and then I can curate that collection however I want.

[sweetnsour1]

The song Something in the Orange by Zach Bryan is a beautifully sad song that I can't get out of my head. I saw a tiktok with that song a while back about Deku and Bakugo and it was heartbreaking 😭

THANK YOU

This is what I’m talking about!!!! Perfect.

Try to break my heart in HALF with song recs

[itsfarmerphil]

W10D1: Focusing and Trusting God's Perfect Plan and Timing

As I wake up today, having slept in after getting to spend time yesterday with my family including a call from my oldest to celebrate Father’s Day. I look to the timing I am in and focusing on God in the midst of everything. As this new week begins I have hope because I know God has the perfect plan in His hands and that He is preparing the good works He wants me to get done. In the midst of the…

[boyczar]