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sgtjbbhasmyheart · 4 years

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Drunk Texting Is(n’t) Bad for Your Health- Chapter Two

Series Summary: Talk about your unconventional meet-cute! Bucky receives a text by mistake requesting he prove he's not Reader's sister. The easy dialogue between Reader and Bucky sparks a natural friendship, but could it lead to more? Bucky still deems himself unworthy of any form of affection or love. Reader is hellbent to prove him wrong. With the help of some (meddling) friends along the way, Bucky may get his happily-ever-after after all.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word count: 2921

Warnings: bad language words, blink and you’ll miss the angst, just some fluff

A/N: divider credit- @firefly-graphics

DO NOT copy or replicate without my permission

You awoke with a start, feeling as if you were late for work or something important and forgot to set your alarm. Your heart beat an erratic tattoo against your ribcage. Scrambling for your cell phone, you blindly reached across the side table near your bed in a panic. Unplugging the phone, you brought the device an ungodly closeness to your face. It was only 6:17. On Saturday.

Your pulse throbbed behind your eyeballs, and a strange stickiness coated the inside of your mouth. Did you drink that much last night?

How could you not? Timmons was a fair boss, and you enjoyed your job, but that dude loved the sound of his own voice.

The quarterly business dinners were mandatory for all employees, even for the P.A.s. Typically, they weren’t so bad, but last night, Timmons felt the need to toot his own horn for landing a massive contract with Stark Industries slash The Avengers. He went on and on about how great it was for the firm.

He was like a giant kid in a candy store with his ramblings. ‘We will be promoting the face of The Avengers and everything that goes with it,’ he spouted off like the firm was god’s gift to public relations.

You groaned at the reminder of last night’s presentation. The contract wasn’t even in effect yet, and you were sick of the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. Timmons could be a real buzz kill.

Rolling to your back, you brought your phone up to tap the screen to read the emails you received overnight. On display was a text from 11:04 by someone named James. It read: “Goodnight, (Y/N).”

Your mind went back to last night again, trying to recall who this James was. He must be significant if you plugged his contact information into your phone already. Had you met someone last night?

Drawing a blank, you clicked on the text bubble to pull up the thread. Briefly scanning through the numerous texts, everything came rushing back. In an attempt to text your sister, Robyn, you mistakenly texted this mysterious, James.

You felt like an utter buffoon when you learned he wasn’t Robyn. You always did have a way with the cute boys. Probably why you were single. You groaned out loud as you read on.

You im safely inside my apartment. Pretty sure no one followed me home

James Did you triple check the lock on the front door?

You yes dad yeesh

James There are a lot of bad people out there. Just want to make sure you’re safe.

You sounds like you watch the news too much but its sweet of u to care

James I know from experience.

You r u the bad guy or have u been the one mugged?

James Let’s just say I have friends that have dealt with the bad things of the world.

You right i almost forgot ur a military-trained assassin athlete mchottie

James Did you ever send your sister a text?

You shit thanks for reminding me i have such a crazy story to tell her

James Only good things, I hope.

You oh yeah all the good things an enigmatic yet handsome stranger cares more about my safety than any of my ex-boyfriends ever did.

James My ma raised me right.

You id say

James_ I hate to cut this short, but I think you need your rest. Especially if you’re meeting your sister tomorrow._

You i dont want to agree but ur probably right

You whats ur name btw?

James My name? Why? Do you plan to continue texting me after tonight?

You duh ur fun to talk to

James Oh.

You or not its cool if u dont want to

James It’s James.

You nice to meet u james im (y/n)

James Nice to meet you as well.

You my sister just texted me back and were still meeting at 9 i should go

You goodnite james

James Goodnight, (Y/N).

Oh. My. God. Had you seriously drunk-flirted with a stranger and offered to keep texting him? You had no shame with a few drinks in you.

You brought a hand up to pinch the bridge of your nose and sighed loudly.

What did you know of this James? He had a New York area phone number. Check. He could have been a real dick about your mistake but wasn’t. Understanding. Check. He worried about you getting home safely in your inebriated state. Caring. Check. Not too forthcoming with the nine to five. Secretive. Check. His mouth looked so soft and plush, and his eyes were made to drown in. Gorgeous. Check.

A heat simmered beneath your skin as you recounted the shortlist you’d made. Were you lusting over someone you’d exchanged less than forty texts with? Had you somehow woken back up in high school?

Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you stared at the screen displaying the message thread. Were you really considering this? You nodded your head to answer your own question. Where was the harm in a little shameless flirting? If worse came to worst, you could always block him.

With your mind made up, you began typing into your phone, constructing an apology.

You Good morning! First off, I want to apologize for the way I behaved over text last night.

You Though, I do like to imbibe in the occasional drink or two, I am, by no means, a lush.

You Please take everything I said with a grain of salt. Apparently, I get loose-lipped and cheeky with free wine. 😐

You Again, I’m sorry and understand if you wanted to cease our correspondence for my behavior.

You blew out a breath and tossed your phone aside. It was up to fate now and a stranger named James.

You laid in your bed for several minutes staring at the ceiling, contemplating between whether to send a ‘haha just kidding’ text and what the weather would be like, so you could forego shaving your legs in the shower today.

Your phone chimed during the pondering of hair removal, indicating a new text. You knew it was James proclaiming you a freak and to forget his number, but secretly, you hoped it was Robyn canceling today.

Seizing the phone from your mattress top, your heart’s beat increased with each second you went without looking at the screen. Finding the courage, you flipped the device over to read the message.

James Quite the formal apology, Ms. Professor.

You smiled at the text. It didn’t tell you to pound sand or eat shit. No, it was teasing and in jest. You sighed in relief.

You Cease our correspondence too much?

James No, no it was perfect if this was 1863, and you were breaking up with me via telegraph.

You Stop!

James Exactly! ‘Never speak to me again!’ Stop. ‘It’s not you, it’s me.’ Stop.

A belly laugh disrupted the tranquil air of your bedroom. You quickly thumbed out a reply once you caught your breath.

You You’re incorrigible.

James I’m glad to see you are using proper capitalization and punctuation this morning.

You Ha!

You When you are buzzed and/or tipsy, capitals and periods be damned. Like you’re so perfect when you’re drunk.

James We all have our flaws.

Was he implying he was a sloppy texter when drunk, too? You shrugged it off as him being cryptic again.

You What are you doing up so early on a Saturday? I didn’t wake you, did I?

You were suddenly stricken with guilt. You should have waited for a more reasonable hour to send out rapid-fire apology texts. Not at 6:36 in the morning. You didn’t want last night’s behavior hanging over you, though. Better to clear the air now than later. You could always ask for forgiveness again if you had disturbed his sleep.

James I had just gotten back from my run when I saw your texts. I have training this morning.

You Oh, right. For your hush-hush, super top secret mission/quidditch game.

You You ever gonna tell me what you really do?

James_ Maybe. Someday._

How far away was someday? Was he planning to text you until you both died or until he got bored? How did texting relationships even work?

You Or is it one of those situations where if you told me you’d have to kill me?

James 😈

You There you go again--being all mysterious.

James Keep ‘em guessing and coming back for more.

You Has that strategy worked well for you in the past?

James Got you to text me again this morning, didn’t it?

You scoffed at what he had suggested. He was correct, but your stubborn streak would deny everything.

You The only reason I texted you this morning was to apologize for acting like a drunken fool last night.

And to squash the curiosity burning in your veins. But he didn’t need to know that.

James Oh.

The reply caused you to furrow your brow and your stomach to drop. You regretted not adding more levity to your last text. Of course, it wasn’t the only reason you were drawn to him.

You I appreciate that the selfie you sent wasn’t a dick pic. And you genuinely seemed to care about me getting home safely. Thank you.

You And maybe- a teeny, tiny bit- is honestly interested in getting to know you better.

You waited on pins and needles for his text, watching the pulsing ellipsis on your screen. Was he just humoring you?

James Hook. Line. Sinker.

Reading his response generated a flush from your jaw to your hairline. You growled in embarrassment. You fell for the oldest trick in the book. He baited you for a compassionate answer, and you delivered beautifully. Hook, line, and sinker, indeed.

You You’re an ass. I take everything back.

James Don’t be mad. I wasn’t sure how it was going to go, but you played into my trap wonderfully.

James If it makes you feel any better, all kidding aside, I want to get to know you better too.

James I fell asleep with a smile on my face last night and woke up with one this morning.

James Because of you, (Y/N).

A flutter broke apart in your chest. You hadn’t time-traveled back to high school; no, this was junior high territory.

You You’re lucky you’re so damn charming, James.

James Doll, you have no idea.

The subway ride into Manhattan usually gave you the chance to get a little reading in since it took nearly fifty minutes from Queens. Not today, though. You spent the entirety of the train ride texting back and forth with James. It was mundane stuff, but you were getting a grasp of who James was as a person.

You Favorite color?

James Black. You?

You Blue.

You Favorite ice cream flavor?

James Chocolate. Yours?

You Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia.

James I didn’t realize we were getting specific.

You We weren’t, but that’s my favorite.

You Favorite movie?

James I like the classics- The Wizard of Oz, It’s A Wonderful Life, Frankenstein.

You I have too many to list, so don’t ask.

You Okay. Lightning round because I’m almost to my stop.

James Where are you going again?

You paused your reply for a brief second, wondering if you should divulge your destination. You’d known James less than twenty-four hours; although, it felt like weeks after this morning. Where was the harm in telling him where you were meeting your sister? There were nearly nine million people in this city. There was no way you’d ever bump into each other.

You A bakery in the Upper East Side called Two Little Red Hens. Ever been?

James Don’t think I have.

You Well, since you like chocolate, they have a fantastic cake called Brooklyn Blackout. Super rich but delicious.

James Sounds right up my alley.

You Cats or dogs?

James I’m gone too much, so cats.

The answer piqued your interest. Maybe he was an athlete. Wouldn’t it be practice and not training, though? Or he’s FBI or CIA.

You Socks on or off for sleeping?

James Off.

You Silver or gold?

James Silver.

You Morning, noon, or night?

James Night.

You How do you take your coffee?

James Room for sugar and creamer.

You Boxers or briefs?

James Boxer briefs.

You laughed out loud, looking around the subway car to see if anyone was paying attention to you. Per usual, they weren’t.

You Touché.

As soon as the train stopped, you gathered your purse close to your body and made for the exit. You followed the crowd of fellow passengers through the turnstile and ascended the stairs onto street level.

The morning sunlight caressed your skin like a warm blanket. The humidity wasn’t too bad, yet, but the threat of afternoon thunderstorms still hung in the air.

Even with the reasonably early hour, the sidewalk was stuffed with people, carrying to-go coffee cups or shopping bags. You fought for your little spot of real estate on the grimy concrete.

Stopping at a red traffic light, waiting to cross, you typed out another question for James.

You Pineapple on pizza--yay or nay?

The light changed as you finished, and the throng of pedestrians around you guided you across the street. You spotted Robyn outside the bakery as your phone dinged with a new text alert.

“Wow, I’m surprised you made it on time,” Robyn said as you hugged hello.

You looked at the clock on your phone. 8:58. “You and me both, sister.” Glancing back at your phone’s screen, you giggled.

James What kind of monster puts pineapple on their pizza??

“What’s so funny?” Robyn asked as you accompanied her through the bakery’s door.

With a grin on your face, you punched out a quick reply:

You Well, it was nice knowing you, James. It was a swell friendship while it lasted--a whole 11 ½ hours.

Robyn elbowed you softly in the ribs with a look on her face, seeking an explanation.

“Ow,” you grunted. “What?”

“You tell me. I half expected a zombie to walk through the doors today after your text last night. Not Suzie Sunshine.”

You both edged closer to the counter as the line in front of you dwindled.

James Say it ain’t so, doll! Pineapple on pizza? Really??

You let out a low chortle as you skimmed the text. You glimpsed up at Robyn as you shuffled forward in line again. “Believe me, I’m pretty hungover,” you replied, shoving your phone in your back pocket. “It’s a funny story. I’ll tell you everything when we sit.”

Robyn stared at you warily, still trying to figure out what had come over you. “Okay,” she conceded, stepping to the register to order.

With each of you supplied with an iced coffee and a peach ginger scone, you found an empty table by a window along 2nd Avenue and proceeded to tell Robyn about James.

When you stopped to catch your breath, remembering the whirlwind the last twelve hours had been, you peered at your sister for her reaction.

She stared at you like you’d grown a second head. She shook her head in disbelief. “(Y/N), what where you thinking?”

Your brow pinched in confusion. Was she actually scolding you? You crossed your arms over your chest. “I was thinking about how my big sister is always telling me to meet new people and how it’s time I thought about settling down.”

“Not like this it’s not,” she hissed. “This is how your body parts end up in someone’s freezer!”

You choked on the piece of scone you shoved in your mouth before she started ridiculing you. After coughing to clear your airway and taking a sip of your iced coffee, you leered at Robyn. “Oh, my god! Dramatic much? Have you been binge-watching Dateline again? Jesus Christ, Robyn, he’s harmless,” you countered.

“You think you’ll be so careful, but you’ll let one little detail slip, and he’ll find you,” Robyn said before taking a pull from her coffee.

“You mean, like, how I was meeting you at Two Little Red Hens at nine o’clock?”

Robyn’s mouth popped open in an O. “What the hell, (Y/N)?” she stage-whispered. “Are you trying to get yourself kidnapped and sold into sex trafficking?”

“Please,” you drew out in one long syllable. “He doesn’t know what I look like. How would he snatch me?”

“He could look you up on Facebook.”

“Without a last name?” You shook your head, no.

“What about a reverse search on your number?” Robyn asked, pushing the plate holding her scone away. “That’s a thing.”

“Perhaps, but it seems like a lot of effort for a mistake I made. It wasn’t like he was seeking me or anyone else out.”

Robyn huffed out a breath and folded her arms in exasperation. Always the protective big sister. You could tell you were breaking her down, though.

“C’ mon, Robbie. It’s all in innocent fun. I’m not saying I’m hoping he’ll turn out to be Mr. Right, but the banter is fun,” you remarked. “James is charming and witty and nice to talk to.”

Robyn shook her head once more, frowning. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

You reached across the table for her hand and squeezed gently. “Me too.” You smiled slyly, remembering last night’s dinner and Timmons gushing about The Avengers. “If not, I know how to get ahold of a couple of centenarians who know chivalry isn’t dead.”

Chapter One | Chapter Three

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fairie-gothmother · 4 years

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In The Shadow of Starlight, Part 7: Bandit Lyfe

First Part: The Fall

Previous Part: Gut Instincts

Troy groaned in pain and anger. If every return trip from Sanctuary was going to involve being jammed into a drop pod, they’d better be few and far between. He cursed Lilith for not allowing him to sync with their New-U stations. Immediately after landing at the Crimson Raider base, the old Lieutenant ordered Troy to stay in his room, which had further soured his mood.

Troy was restless, irritated and still buzzing with energy. He flopped onto the bed, closed his eyes, and attempted to get a grip on himself.

Knock knock.

“What?” Troy snapped.

A gravelly voice called, “I had a feeling that was you in the drop pod.” Raz slipped inside the room. After taking one look at Troy sprawled out on bed, he added, “You look like hell.”

“You’re lucky I’m too sore to get up and strangle you,” Troy threatened half-heartedly, rubbing his aching neck.

"I take it you didn't have much luck with the scientist," Raz guessed.

The Calypso sighed. "Nope. Managed to get a little extra gas in my tank, though. Long story," Troy indicated by waving his glowing hand before placing it over his eyes.

“Well, now. I’d say that’s cause for celebration. How about I offer you a drink to lift your spirits?”

“Aren’t you on probation?” Troy asked.

“Technically, yes. But what the higher ups don't know won’t hurt ‘em. Or would you rather be a good little Crimson Raider and stay put?” Raz winked and beckoned toward the door.

In response, Troy threw a pillow past Raz’s head hard enough for it to burst into a puff of feathers.

Raz pulled a feather from his beard. “Hmph. Not even Octavia needed this much convincing. Suit yourself.” With a shrug, he turned to leave.

Troy lowered the second pillow he was about to chuck at his ex-general. “And you left her alone with drunk bandits?” The Calypso jumped up from the bed. He hadn’t taken two steps before he caught the suspicious looks Raz shot at him. Troy wasn’t in the mood. “Alright, you win. I need to blow off some steam anyway.” He shouldered past the shorter man, and they both made their way across the compound.

~~~

Octavia accepted the bottle of rakk ale Raz offered. “Music and booze? Did you happen to organize something that Lieutenant Cramer wouldn’t approve of?”

“Cramer isn’t invited.” Raz opened his own bottle of ale and clinked it against hers. “Welcome to your first bandit bash.”

The ex-bandit recruits had managed to transform the small lot behind the Crimson Raider compound into a convincing outdoor pub. They handed out drinks and gathered around a bonfire while a radio played upbeat rock music.

Even Troy had joined in on the event. Octavia hadn’t seen him since he passed out in the medical room, which had been tense and awkward. She ran her gaze over him, careful not to linger long enough to be caught staring. He had his swagger back, siren marks glowing brightly. Once everyone was confident that he wasn’t going to slaughter them, Troy became the life of the party. He was a god among bandits, after all.

Octavia wasn’t sure what she expected, but hanging with bandits was enjoyable. The burn of alcohol in the back of her throat was odd so early in the afternoon, even for a day off, but it was a welcome sensation. Her stress was melting away, emboldening her to let loose a bit. Today was just about having fun. And dammit, she deserved it.

As the day went on, Octavia had consumed enough liquid courage to unglue herself from Raz’s side. One of the younger bandit guys sat next to her at the bar. After some easy conversation and exchanging names, he declared her his new friend. She had unfairly stereotyped him as another blood thirsty idiot. He wasn’t particularly bright, but Octavia was warming up to him.

“And that’s why I don’t like stalkers. Those invisible assholes give me the creeps,” he said, slicking back his ash blonde hair.

Octavia swiveled in her chair to face him, bumping her knees against his in the close space. “So let me get this straight. You don’t think stalkers have tails, but instead have really long-”

“Of course! What else do you think that thing is for?”

“I think it’s just a tail, Collin,” Octavia laughed.

Collin opened his mouth to argue further but was interrupted by a familiar gravelly voice.

“Harassing the new girl already?” Raz had reappeared casually smoking at the bar beside them.

Collin greeted him. “Did you know Octavia is gonna be working in the greenhouse? She-” Collin’s eyes widened when he noticed who was approaching.

Troy Calypso glanced down at their knees touching with a slight raise of his eyebrows, making Octavia uncomfortable enough to scoot back. His mechanical arm reached across the bar to claim a bottle of liquor, then the Calypso turned back to the entourage following at his heels. Not staring was harder than it should have been. The way he relished in the spotlight with effortless charisma was mesmerizing.

“What do you think, Octavia?”

Collin’s question pulled her out of her daze, and her face reddened when she realized she’d zoned out on the question.

“Um, sorry. What?”

Collin repeated, “Do you think you could get me in the greenhouse? I’d kill to get out of the shop. I keep trying to convince the foreman to let me make weapon prototypes.”

Raz butted in. “Ha! The last time you presented one of your prototypes, it blew up in your face. Literally. You singed both your eyebrows.”

Collin sheepishly scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah.” Then he held up both hands. “But I managed to keep all my fingers.”

“Real cute, punk,” Raz said, flipping the younger man half of a bird.

Octavia couldn’t help but chuckle at their banter. “Wow. You have all your teeth and fingers? Not bad for a bandit.”

Collin flashed an exaggerated smile, displaying all of his pearly whites.

The radio music changed to a poppy dance song. Collin’s face lit up. “Ooh, I love this song!” He jumped up from his seat and extended his hand. “Dance with me.”

Octavia didn’t have time to decline before she was pulled from her chair into the group of bandits dancing around the fire. Even with a buzz, she was not willing to embarrass herself on the dance floor. Collin had moves that put her stiff shuffling to shame. She appreciated his help giving her little spins and twirls. She prayed she could fake it well enough to get through the song.

She glanced around the area to see how many people were watching her make a fool out of herself. Her eyes wandered to Troy, who was basking in the attention of several bandits. Her stomach fluttered when one of the women leaned in closely and whispered into his ear.

“I need another drink,” Octavia said to her dance partner.

~~~

This was how the Calypso twins spent most of their time in the early days of the Children of the Vault. Partying with their followers, dancing to whatever played on the radio, drinking cheap alcohol. The familiarity was comforting to Troy. The difference with today was the absence of his sister outshining him.

“I always did like you more than Tyreen,” crooned a female admirer into Troy’s ear.

“Bullshit. You were a total God Queen simp,” said another girl.

The first woman swatted at the other for calling her out. “You bitch, I only bought her merch because the color goes better with my eyes.”

The ex-God King flashed his golden fangs. “Ya know, that right there is considered false devotion. Do you know how I used to handle the falsely devoted?” he asked sweetly. When the woman shook her head, he placed two fingers of his siren hand beneath her chin and tilted her head to the side. “It meant you'd get your pretty little throat ripped out.”

The woman was so drunk that the threat went completely unrecognized. “Pretty?” she giggled.

Troy rolled his eyes as he released her. He took a swig from the bottle clenched in his mechanical fist. Although he missed having admirers, ones like this annoyed him. Even without his twin here, he still couldn't escape her shadow.

Troy slipped away from his entourage, snuck over to the bar, and told the man behind it to mix him a drink. Where was Raz? He wanted to give him shit for setting up a bar with no lime wedges. Looking toward the edge of the lot, he spotted Octavia sitting by the fence. A young, blonde pretty-boy was attempting to get her to her feet. She shook her head, and pretty-boy gave her a pat on the shoulder before returning to the fireside to dance. Troy ordered a second cocktail and walked over to her.

“You look thirsty,” Troy said, holding the drink out to her. “I’d say my treat, but open bar and all.”

Octavia looked up in surprise and took the cup with an appreciative smile. “I’d say thanks, but open bar and all.” She took a sip and wrinkled her nose. “What’s this?”

“Lemon Lime & Bullets. Minus the lime.” Troy threw his drink down in one gulp. He watched in amusement as Octavia fished out the bullet from her own cup with her finger.

“I see what you’re doing. You’re trying to get on my good side,” she said slyly.

“Hm, am I? I guess that depends. Is it working?” he asked with a cocky grin.

“Maybe a little,” she said, taking another sip of her now ammunition-less cocktail.

He sat on the ground beside her, rested his back against the chain link fence, and nodded toward the dancing silhouettes a short distance in front of them. “Let me guess. You don’t dance.”

“It’s not my thing,” she said.

“Aw, come on. Let me teach you some moves. Only slightly provocative ones, I promise.”

She smiled. “Tempting, but I’ll pass.”

Troy huffed, “Alright, fine. You’re no fun. If you don’t dance and you don’t even fit in with these people, what are you doing here?”

Octavia was visibly bothered by the comment. He realized how shitty that sounded and rushed to rephrase. “I mean, it’s cool you’re here. I just don’t get it. There’s a lot I don’t get about you, witchdoctor.” He ruffled her hair with his siren hand.

She pushed his hand away and smoothed her hair back into place. Troy swore he saw a hint of pink in her cheeks. “I’m not sure myself. I never come to these kinds of things, but I guess I thought it might be fun.”

“Well, are you having fun?”

She looked up to meet his eyes. “Yeah. I think I am.”

Maybe it was the alcohol or the extra energy in his body that was making his brain fuzzy, but in that moment Troy was certain what Octavia wanted. Anticipation hung in the air, along with the suspense that comes when someone flicks their eyes down to your lips and back. She tipped her head back, just enough to give him permission, and then-

A vibration from Troy’s pocket made him jump. “What the hell?” The Echo he’d nicked from Sanctuary nearly vibrated out of his pocket. There was a message.

//Unknown_User//: smile 4 the camera :)

The display automatically opened a live video feed showing a man and a woman sitting on the ground with their backs against a chain link fence. Troy recognized the back of his own head. Oh fuck.

“Boom time, heretics!” a voice shouted from behind.

Thinking fast, Troy grabbed Octavia and shielded her against the blast. The force from the explosion sent the two of them tumbling across the ground.

“Vi, you need to run.”

“B-but what-,” she squeaked.

“Now!” he ordered, and she took off toward the base.

The fence had been blown open. Bandits and psychos were pouring inside, firing guns and swinging buzzaxes. Cambots floated through the air above, recording the onslaught.

“Alright then, party crashers. Let's dance.” Troy opened his mechanical hand, and his sword digistructed into his palm. A smile spread impossibly wide across his face until the jaw split open at the modified hinges. The God King slashed through the crowd, decapitating and disemboweling. He roared, shredding throats open with his jaws. Psychos screamed as he crushed their skulls in his mechanical hand. The popping of bone, the squishing of flesh, the warmth of blood. So much red. It was a rush of euphoria.

A cambot hovered overhead focused on Troy. The Calypso snatched up a bandit by the neck. “You assholes weren't invited,” he growled, somewhat garbled through his open jaws.

The bandit choked, “Tyreen will protect me...The Reaping... shall purge-” The rest was lost as neck tendons stretched and snapped until the bandit’s head was ripped off. Troy flung the severed head at the cambot, sending it spinning through the air.

Alarms sounded from the Crimson Raider base. Soldiers emerged from the building and joined the fight against the invaders. Across the lot, Raz shot at multiple cultists who were retreating with a large metal cage. Troy sprinted over to him. “Raz, it’s the Reaping.”

“I know. The bloody bastards are taking prisoners,” Raz yelled, reloading his rifle.

More cages were being hauled outside the fence and loaded into COV vehicles. Troy gave chase, using the broad side of his blade to block the barrage of gunfire. He reached the nearest cage and slashed into the cultists. So much red. Troy pulled the door off the hinges and freed the Raider recruits inside. Another cage was nearby.

“Let me go!” cried out the voice of Octavia. Her hands swung at her captors from within the bars.

Troy made a run for it. His blood boiled. Every single one of these fuckers was going to die. Everything he saw was red. Red. With his blade raised, prepared to carve these cultists into pieces, he was blindsided with a sucker punch to the face. The blow made him stumble.

Double images swirled in Troy’s vision until he shook it off. Before him stood a familiar white haired siren, wiping away specks of his blood from her knuckles. “Well, this is annoying. I thought you’d be dead by now, but here you are chumming it up with the Crimson Traitors,” said Tyreen.

Troy’s jaws clicked shut so he could properly articulate. “Guess you’re just getting sloppy. The God Queen must be losing her touch,” he snarled and lunged at Tyreen. She easily dodged him with a sidestep, but Troy kept running past her. Octavia’s cage had been dragged outside of the fence. He could make it.

“Stop running, dear brother. Fight me!”

“What’s the matter, Ty? Can’t keep up?”

In a flash of fire, Tyreen teleported in front of him. Putting all his momentum behind it, the taller Calypso slammed his metal fist into the side of his twin’s head. Tyreen lost her footing and was thrown back several feet. Once again, he ran for the cage now being loaded into a COV vehicle. He could still make it. Troy was close enough to see the fear in those cultists’ eyes.

An electric pain hit Troy in the back, halting him in his tracks. It spread in a fiery trail through his entire body. He gasped, pulling air into his burning lungs. Still he continued moving forward, watching the world blur through his eyelashes.

“Do you actually care about what happens to a bunch of vault thief wannabes?” Tyreen asked, slowly approaching with purple sparks dancing around her fingertips.

Another shot of electricity ripped through his insides. Troy squeezed his eyes closed. He felt his fingernails dragging across the dirt, not remembering when he hit the ground. He forced one eye open to see the COV vehicles pulling off.

A sharp kick to Troy’s stomach lurched his guts, causing bile to rise in his throat. Tyreen grabbed a fistful of his black hair and lifted his head, forcing him to watch her follower’s vehicles speeding away. “You do care, don’t you? Which one is it, I wonder.” The siren signaled to a cambot overhead. It swooped down and displayed a projection before the two of them.

They were scenes of the party from earlier today. It cycled from the dancers around the bonfire to Troy surrounded by admirers to people laughing at the bar to… Troy involuntarily whimpered at the image.

“Jackpot,” Tyreen smiled wickedly. The projection showed Troy and Octavia, sitting on the ground together. “She is cute. Don’t worry, Troy. I’ll take good care of her.”

With more strength than someone her size should rightfully possess, Tyreen lifted her brother by the throat with one arm. Troy gagged and clawed at the fingers closing around his airways. Her blue siren marks pulsed as she activated her powers.

“Now, do me a favor and die this time.”

Troy struggled against the leech. His chest throbbed as his movements shifted the crystals forming inside it. He couldn’t fight, couldn’t scream. He felt his eyes water, and his arms went limp at his sides.

I wasn’t strong enough... I’m sorry.

~~~

“Eat shit, devil bitch!”

Lieutenant Cramer’s rocket hit the Calypsos, detonating into a plume of smoke and fire. Raz was concerned for Troy due to the size of the blast, but they were out of options, and Cramer was out of patience.

A hush fell over the field. The remaining Raiders and recruits had their sights focused on the smoke cloud, unable to see the twins inside it. Raz steadied his breath aiming down his rifle’s scope.

Suddenly, something came flying from the smoke and landed heavily on the ground in front of the Raiders. Raz’s heart sank when he noticed the lifeless form of Troy lying before him. His skin was grey and glistened with purple crystals. Raz had to resist the urge to run to him. The God Queen emerged from the dust, not showing an ounce of remorse.

“Ya know, it is too easy taking your stuff. I was hoping for something more than just a few sparks,” Tyreen brushed the dust from her jacket. “I’m starting to feel kinda bad for you, so I’ll leave you a participation trophy.” She pointed to her brother’s form in the dirt and laughed maniacally.

“Open fire!” commanded Cramer. The air erupted with thundering gunfire. The siren was too quick. She teleported out of sight in a flash of flames.

Raz rushed to the fallen Calypso, sliding on his knees. The light of his siren marks was dead, small crystals sprouted from his body in clusters. The bearded man put an ear to the cold skin of Troy’s bare chest. A heartbeat. The son of a bitch was still alive.

“He’s alive!” Raz yelled.

Cramer spoke into his Echo, “Base to Sanctuary. Commander Lilith, the damned devil bitch herself and her cultists attacked us. Many injured, more M.I.A. and Troy’s about to find out if the Great Vault exists because he’s a few breaths away from death.”

Raz could hear Lilith’s voice from where he still knelt by Troy’s side. “Damn! We’ll get them back, don’t worry. But we can’t afford to lose Troy now.” Lilith paused. “We don’t have any other choice. Give him blood.”

Raz looked the body up and down, then spoke up, “But he hasn’t lost much blood.”

“No.” Lilith sighed into the Echo, bracing herself for what she was about to say. “He needs to drink blood. Tannis thinks... There’s no time to explain. Just do it.”

No rest for the wicked. Eh, mate? Just hold on a little longer.

#troy calypso #borderlands 3 #redemption #fanfic #fanfiction #Troy #calypso #au #in the shadow of starlight

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becksfm · 4 years

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hey CASEY “BECK” BECKHAM , welcome to dillon university . has anyone ever told you you’re GAVIN LEATHERWOOD’s twin ? no ? well okay , i heard you are TWENTY - TWO & a JUNIOR at the university . we hope BIOCHEMISTRY isn’t kicking your ass too much , especially since you’re a STUDENT PHYSICAL TRAINER . see you at the next game, BECK & character’s cismale + he/him .

it’s me & i’m here for round fuckin’ two , friends . this time i bring you resident GOLDEN BOY . . . a whole 6′1 of soft boy energy . . . floppy overgrown curls . . . king of talking - your - way - out - of - everything . . . retired hockey player . . . a man of Many Talents , of which the most astounding is his ability to look like he’s got it all together when , in fact , he does not ! under the cut , you’ll find a lil more about him . . . & if you wanna plot hmu @ 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣#9956 on discord or pop into my ims here !!

𝑩 𝑨 𝑪 𝑲 𝑮 𝑹 𝑶 𝑼 𝑵 𝑫 .

dillon , texas born & raised . on the outskirts of town is a ranch that is enough to house the beckham family: mom, dad, and all eight beckham children . beck is the second oldest , with one older sister , four younger sisters , and two younger brothers . . . not necessarily in that order .

mother , sophia mattheson - beckham is a lawyer based in austin working with the ACLU , and father , michael beckham has a small private practice in dillon working as a pediatrician . they weren’t home often , but when they were , they spent as much time with the kiddos as possible . it’s just . . . they were so rarely home that it really didn’t matter.

with the beckham name, though, comes the pressure to be SOMETHING GREAT , and that’s something that’s been a part of beck’s life since . . . he can remember . little league & kindergarten grades were always taken a little too seriously , and it didn’t help that his older sister was a shining example of perfection .

growing up it was hard not to like him. he was quiet for the most part , but goofy when he wasn’t . there was a little extra charm about him that just gave him an all around magnetic pull . kids wanted to be his friend and he wanted to be theirs . he fit in , but around home , he was the odd man out . beck was always a little more interested in sports rather than math or music rather than reading . it wasn’t to say he wasn’t smart , it just kind of –– bored him?? where his family was v

there was give and take with beck–– the golden boy of dillon but the black sheep of the family . he could play hockey if he kept his grades up. he could take guitar if he was also on student government and model u.n.. his parents would applaud him on his grades but never cared to hear him play; they’d show up for debates but rarely ever saw a hockey game. it was touch and go, his relationship with them, and it still is.

DESPITE IT ALL though, you wouldn’t catch him complaining. he bore the crown of homecoming king his senior year and never went to a dance without a date. teachers loved him, so did his coaches. he found a best friend in one cameron sloane –– ( because of course he did ) –– when the sloanes moved to dillon , and they were an unstoppable kind’a duo on and off the ice.

when it came time to pick a college, he really . . . had his pick of the lot. coulda gone anywhere, but there were roughly six reasons , all with the same last name , that kept him close to home. his parents even agreed that if he went in as pre-med, they would pay for the whole thing . . . and even make time to watch him play hockey.

things were good for a long while, until they weren’t. you can usually see the stars on the outskirts of dillon, but one night, his sophomore year, you couldn’t. storm clouds covered ‘em up, and he tried his damndest to get cameron to stick around a celebratory party until it passed, but sloanes are stubborn and there was no changing his mind.

cam passing away was like losing a brother, and he spent countless hours pacing in a hospital waiting room . . . hoping for good news and never getting it. beck had never known loss like that, and it knocked him into a bit of a tailspin . he quit hockey and didn’t register for school the next year . he spent a lot of time at a family residence in austin and even more time drinking . for the most part . . . he kind of DISAPPEARED , losing himself in the process for a good nine months.

they say it takes a village to raise a kid, and it took a village to drag this one out of a spiral. his parents. his siblings. his friends. and eventually . . . dillon’s football coaching staff. a loud knock on the door from coach buchanan and a swift kick in the ass from coach sloane, a man who knew the kid almost as well as he’d known his own son. come work for us, they told him . . . and it was a way to get him back on track under a watchful eye that. wasn’t quite as critical as his parents

so that’s where we are now . . . back at dillon, a year behind, and working with both the football and cheerleading team as a physical trainer, playing a heavy hand in making sure both teams are the best conditioned in the state of texas. his grades are looking up, and he’s still on the fast track for med school, much to his –– and his parents’s –– surprise.

the beckhams don’t talk about his little stint of a spiral. no one in dillon does . . . unless in tones of hushed whispers alongside judgmental looks. beck doesn’t mind it too much ,though . . . even takes it as a challenge

𝑷 𝑬 𝑹 𝑺 𝑶 𝑵 𝑨 𝑳 𝑰 𝑻 𝒀 . ( i’m getting tired so this gon be ugly )

you want inspo?? i’ll give ya inspo!! richard campbell gansey the third ( dick 3 babiiiie ) is my main inspo for beck. you’ll also find a lil bit of jim halpert, a lil bit of rob maclanahan from miracle ( even tho he w as a real person too shhh ), and *insert big eyed emoji here* grizz from the society

ever since he can remember, there’s been pressure on this kid to be something great . . . so he feels like if he has the capability to do something, he has to do it. . . there’s no choice in the matter. a lot of this stems. from his parents, but he’s also really just . . . overly critical of himself sometimes

boy is a fucking PARADOX okay bc sometimes . . . . with the way he talks. . . . he accidentally puts his damn foot in his mouth . he’s smart so occasionally comes off as condescending , but he’s . . . incredible in conversation with people he needs to impress because he’s hella charming

that said... this quote is REALLY important and REALLY summative of beck: “Gansey had always felt as if there were two of him: the Gansey who was in control, able to handle any situation, able to talk to anyone, and then, the other, more fragile Gansey, strung out and unsure, embarrassingly earnest, driven by naive longing.” –– let’s dive into that!! when he feels like he’s got a sense of control of the things around him, when he’s in his element or in his comfort zone, when he’s feeling confident , the boy is a force. he can talk you and anyone else out of any situation, and he has. he can make friends with anyone put in front of him, and he has. when beck is ON . . . he is on . . . but it’s a bit surface level because when he’s not wearing the crown of GOLDEN BOY and he’s . . . vulnerable . . . or unsure . . . or stressed . . . he tends to put that foot of his in his mouth and spit. out whatever it is he’s thinking. he’s honest to a fault in this sense, and he’s hopeful beyond compare.

an introvert. . . . can CHARM u but doesn’t want to because honestly that is so draining and he’d much rather be at home. the popular type but only has a few friends that are really really close to him

loyal to a fault . . . will give you 392847 chances that you don’t deserve .. fool me once shame on you ! fool me twice shame on me! fool me three time what the fuck bro now ur just taking advantage of me

very . .. calm and even tempered. he’s a mediating type and like . . would rather find a conflict resolution than sWING u feel me

he’s cute. .. . and. people love him but . . . despite it all, he really doesn’t let that go to his head?? the boy was raised to believe you had to earn things and he’s just. idk . . .. humble king

eloquent as fuck ( lol good luck @ me writing that shit )

quick witted and very sharp

probably a lawful good type ngl :\

Does Not Do Well.With Change. when his older sister left dillon to go to notre dame??? boy damn near blew a gasket how dARE SHE go that far away!!!

v close with his sibs . .. . activate Dad Mode. he loves all of them equally and definitely does not at all favor the 10 y/o baby brother of the family or his sister closest in age, who is also a student at dillon. doesn’t favor them ONE BIT

u want a vibe for the beckhams??? “ the beckhams were courtiers and kings . when there was no castle to invite them, they built one” ( we stan ONE weird author lady named maggie)

insomnia!! the boy nEVER SLEEPS1! always thinking. always planning what’s next. gotta go gotta go gotta go.

kind of .. . a hopeless romantic :\ dated the same girl for most of high school but when she fucked off to ole miss she broke up with him in a text. so that .. . . . .. went well for him ..... still a dumb bitch tho and would love to hold ur hand

wire rimmed glasses, wool sweaters, light colored hoodies, distressed denim, cuffed pants, :\ chelsea boots :\

phobia of bees. there’s literally no reason for this other than my own, personal, geeked out pleasure

prank king

Smart Jock Type

plays guitar to relieve stress and you bet baby’s got some pipes here u go

literally nothing like nicholas scratch DO NOT call him daddy

tall and doesn’t know what to do with all the extra limb like . . . . . the fuck

will push you to your personal best in any conditioning circumstance

okay I THINK THAT’S ALL . . .. i’m a big fan of basic plots that kinda ebb and flow with chemistry BUT!! gimme the basics man . . . a roommate . . . a past hookup or two . . . some spicy friendships or . . . fRENEMIES even u know the drill

ok that’s all i hope u love him bc i am v nervous about playing A Man buT IT IS WHAT IT IS U KNOW

#if this doesn't scream chaotic idk what does #friday:intro

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halluciness-blog · 6 years

Note

digits belonging to human hand trace over the outline of wound, cautious not to damage it further, almost protectively so. visage contorts, remnants of anger burrowing into skin, maimed & untouched alike. "who did this?" she knows exactly who the culprit is, but she needs to hear it from emerald's lips.

EMERALD COULDN’T BE FOOLED. the cobra tensed up in response to cinder’s touch, her lips pressed in a firm line. it felt like she remembered, &. yet. . . ‘ you’re not real. ‘ faunus spoke out, her voice hoarse &. barely recognizable. the injury on her abdomen proved nothing in comparison to all else salem had done to her. now that it was ( seemingly ? ) over, why would gemstone allow salem her tricks ? ‘ cinder doesn’t care. ‘

#fallrot #em: fool me once shame on u #em: fool me four times im a real fool #wait what

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sailor-cresselia · 5 years

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Zi-O 40: Shenanigans Intensify

Watched this live with @miyukomatsuda, wound up sticking some of my raw comments in here where they’re appropriate.

LETS DO THIS!

When last we saw our heroes (and Woz), Momotaros had just given Sougo the Den-O watch. That caused the rest of the ridewatches to warp over to him, and fuse into the Grand Zi-O watch.

TODAY, Yuuto and Deneb (who is wheezing, poor guy) run up, and tell Momo that “HEY! DON’T DO THAT! HE’S GONNA BE EVIL!”

So! Momo! Just! Grabs his watch back!

This causes the Grand Watch to dissolve, much to Sougo’s confusion… and causes Woz to pause time for his Recap. Because Woz.

...Er, Yuuto, I get that you don’t want Sougo & Co interfering, but…. You do know they have time machines of their own, right? Maybe you shouldn’t have said what date you were going to out loud? Just a suggestion.

Exposition time at 9-to-5! So, Button-up (...does he have a name?) was dating Takuya’s sister, who… oh dear. Yeah, she was a classic case of “ill sister in hospital,” and her condition worsened after button-up took her out of the hospital for a day. Whoops.

...hang on, I’m just gonna…

Okay, Button-up’s name is Yukihiro. Good to know, now I can use that, instead.

Also, it’s nice to know that it is, in fact, still Seiji Takaiwa in the Momotaros suit. It’s a lot easier to have the Imajin make guest appearances than a lot of characters, since they’ve pretty much always got at least two of the suit actors. Seiji Takaiwa is Momotaros, and Eitoku is Urataros, so they just need the VA’s to record lines, which is a lot less time-intensive than face-acting.

Okay, sorry, I. Had to get that out there, since Momotaros is posing it up in the background. Which makes sense, seeing as how his train is a bit… ‘stolen’ at the moment.

...okay, this whole next exchange is GOLD. Momo’s ticked, which is justifiable, since the DenLiner is a bit ‘stolen’ and currently is in 2017. So, since he’s not about to leave it to Yuuto to fix this whole mess, he’s gonna go get it back, and storms out the door – except WAIT NO HE CAN’T! He can’t travel in time without the DenLiner, which is kind of the entire problem here!

Sougo’s look of exasperation when Momo starts heading for the door gives me life. Just taps his fingers, sighs, and looks over his shoulder at Momo. (Finally, someone even more impulsive than him!)

So, Momotaros is ticked, because he’s stuck here. Geiz raises an eyebrow and smirks, and just says that they’re going back to 2017.

Geiz: Yeah, we’re not letting Another Den-O run unchecked. Come on, we’re going to 2017.

Momo: Alright!

(beat)

Momo: ...wait, how?

Geiz: Shut up and come with me.

Sougo sighs towards the end of the exchange. He’s so done with the Imajin, he’s had it.

Quick jump to the DenLiner… where the remaining three Imajin are chained up. …Was Junichiro still on the train? Because last we saw him, he was driving it. Where is he?

Takuya’s determined to stop Yukihiro from taking Sayuri – his sister – out of the hospital that day. If he can just do that…

TIME MAZINE!

… YES. Geiz is driving his Time Mazine… with Momotaros and Woz on either side of him in the cockpit. There’s not enough room in there for three, especially when one of them is incredibly pointy. Momo tries to TAKE OVER STEERING.

(And he’s wondering why Zi-O didn’t come!)

May 11, 2017.

A Mole Imajin appears from Yukihiro. Another Den-O drops down from the DenLiner. Panic ensues in the hospital.

When the first away team shows up, one of the people running out yells about “OH GOD THERE’S A MONSTER OUT HERE, TOO!”

Momo: is offended

Woz: ...So, they’re in the hospital already, then.

Momo: LET’S GO!!

Geiz: Hey, dumbass, you’re just gonna freak ‘em out.

Momo: … OKAY THEN!

Momo prepares to jump into Geiz – again – but Geiz IS NOT HAVING THAT.

NOT DOING THAT AGAIN.

Just SHOVES Woz in the way!

I love Momo!Woz’s hair. They implemented the red streak into his usual pulled-back style really well.

oh god my ears mole imajin was the nails-on-a-chalkboard really necessary?! At least Momotaros agrees with me on the “Cut that OUT already” front.

But the thought of Momotaros with access to GINGA. OH GOD. And of course he’s still using his usual fighting style – aka PUNCH ALL THE THINGS. Pity that Ginga is basically a mage form.

(Momotaros being confused about the cape is excellent, too.)

Cut back to inside the hospital… where Another Den-O is… knocking… his past self… to the ground… saying that he’ll protect his sister.

Oh, no, there’s nothing that could go wrong here…

No, 2019!Takuya, there’s no reason that your sister would freak out over a monster saying he’ll protect her, why would you think that?

GEIZ DOING A FLYING KICK, THOUGH~! YESSSSS!

Momo!Woz: I don’t have time for introductions today!

Momo!Woz: immediately proceeds to start his introduction

(time pausing sound effect)

Momo: Hey! Why can’t I move?!

Woz: GET OUT!

Woz. Just. KICKED MOMOTAROS OUT OF HIS BODY.

Woz was NOT HAVING THIS.

The catchphrases were TOO EMBARRASSING.

He’s just disgusted oh my god this is beautiful.

Oh, there’s Sougo’s Time Mazine! About time he catches up!

It’s such a shame that Sougo didn’t get to see Momo!Woz, though.

In the hospital, 2017!Takuya starts to wake up, and sees Yukihiro and Sayuri exiting her room.

Me: Oh no. Oh no he was getting her out of there Because Of Another DenO

Miyuko: OH NOOOOOO

Miyuko: STABLE TIME LOOP-ALSO HOLY SHIT

Me: Because a monster was saying she was his sister

Okay, so. I LOVE Revive Typhoon, now that it’s not killing Geiz to use it. I REALLY love how we’re barely even getting AFTERIMAGES of his attacks right now. There’s just a blur of him moving forward, with an image of him standing there – he’s going back and forth too fast for the camera to bother trying to display it!

Geiz hypercharges the Claw Shot finisher – like, seriously, I can’t even COUNT how many times he hit the button for that – and that attack would DEFINITELY have finished off Another Den-O…

If he hadn’t been immediately blocked by the DenLiner going by.

Miyuko: also OWNER I GUESS JUST LETTING THIS HAPPEN

Me: A mook. Hijacked. The train.

Me: OKAY

Miyuko: good lord this ep

Me: When in doubt: shenanigans

OH. OH MAN. WE COULDN’T UNDERSTAND THIS WHEN WE WERE WATCHING.

So… it turns out… Sayuri knew she was beyond saving. And that if Takuya knew that, it’s just break him. So… so what Yukihiro did… he brought her out of the hospital…

And it was, at least in part, so that Takuya would have someone to hate. So that he would have someone to blame for her death. Because that would be, in a way, easier for him to have a person to direct his anger at, instead of a formless frustration at fate.

The piano version of ‘Toki No Ouja’ is playing in the background of this scene – where we’re going back and forth from Sougo relating this story in 2017 to Takuya, and Yukihiro telling them in 2019.

You know. The song that’s kind of about how Sougo’s somewhat closed his eyes to potential consequences of his actions, not wanting to think about them, not wanting them to have the effect that everyone says they’re going to have.

...GOD I love ‘Toki No Ouja,’ and I can’t WAIT to have the full OST for Zi-O. This season’s music is so good. I mean, Rider music is always good, but DAMN. Getting this piano version is gonna be awesome.

2019!Takuya is trying to stop Yukihiro, because he doesn’t know that Sayuri’s death is inevitable, and that she’s basically asked to leave.

So 2017!Takuya, with this new knowledge, asks Sougo to stop the future him.

And Sougo is so kind, so of course he will.

Momo: You’re a pretty decent guy, aren’t ya? Where are they going?

Sougo: …well, I… don’t… actually know. Yukihiro said it was a place full of memories...

Momo: That is something you usually ask!

Miyuko: MOMO

Miyuko: AYGHAHGAHGA

Miyuko: DON"T SHAKE THE BABY

Me: MOMO no

Woz, being absolutely done with the assorted tomfoolery, figures out where they’re going, via a picture on Sayuri’s side table.

...DENEB. DENEB WHAT IS THIS DISGUISE?!

Deneb, sweetie, you are not going to fool anyone with that doctor outfit.

But he is vouching for Sougo, saying that the overlord is actually a good guy!

Yuuto still thinks it’s a charade, because… well, time travel. And he also wants to know what the deal is with Deneb’s outfit.

So, we were watching this via a stream on one site, and chatting via discord, and. Well, come the scene change…

Me: Oh no chat has a point

Miyuko: this seems like a BAD plan

Miyuko: what

Me: This is where the grand fight happened

Miyuko: OH FUCK

Miyuko: U RITE

That’s a whole lot of Mole Imajin…

OH. HUH. Yuuto tells Momo to give Sougo the watch. It’s not that he trusts him, but he’ll deem him acceptable.

(Besides, he’s already seen this fight. He knows that Sougo is supposed to use Grand here, and since the fight is already happening…)

So, Momotaros tosses the Den-O watch to the future overlord. The other Ridewatches – which, mind you, are in 2019 – show up to once again fuse into the Grand watch.

(CHAT LOG APPROACHES)

Miyuko: OKAY HOW THE FUCK

Miyuko: THROUGH FUCKING TIME AND SPACE

Me: You know what-

Me: This is fine

Me: I don’t even care anymore

Miyuko: hahahahaha

Miyuko: i mean sougo has time powers

SO! THE GRAND TRANSFORMATION! SURE IS A THING!

A golden fucking CLOCK TOWER rises up behind Sougo, while statues of the Riders in their signature poses rise next to him – all of them with a purplish dust/rock filter over them. They’re all in their signature poses, too.

And Miyuko and I had thought that it was the statues from 2068’s “commemoration of Tokiwa Sougo’s first transformation’ monument, and the opening, especially with how the rock filter flakes away.

Except that they can’t be.

For one, all of those statues are brown before the ‘rock’ flakes away, not purple. And they’re all static poses there, generically standing, and looking down. They’re in a different order, too – going back and forth between each rider, with the phase-two riders being the only ones really visible to us.

But THIS set? Purple covering that flakes away, in their signature pre-asskicking poses. The order is different, too. On one side, from left to right, it’s Kuuga through Decade – Kuuga further back, Decade right next to Sougo. On the other, left to right, it’s Zi-O through Double – Zi-O next to Sougo, and Double in back.

INTERESTING.

AND THEN ALL OF THEM – ZI-O INCLUDED – GET TURNED INTO WINDOW THINGS, THAT APPLY THEMSELVES TO THE ZI-O ARMOR.

And each of those opens up, has the rider do their pose, and then the rider turns into the little figurines that we’ve seen on Grand. And the fact that they are, in fact, figures, as opposed to panels, is just. WOW this form is overkill.

This is so damned extra.

Woz: IWAE!!!!

Woz: ...WAIT, NO, I DON’T EVEN NEED WORDS FOR THIS!

Woz: LET’S JUST RELISH IN THIS MOMENT!!

woz please

NEW INSERT TIME!!!

Not that I can hear it, but still.

Okay, so. So Sougo is straight up lifting the riders out of time. He pulls Build out first, from his first episode – and I can tell, because that’s the only one where he launched himself out of the ground to use his kick. Then a time window opens, pulling the rider-kicking Build into this 2017, to kick the heck out of Another Den-O.

Then Kuuga gets pulled in.

Then Sougo taps the Kuuga figure again, and his icon appears briefly.

AND THEN SOUGO PULLS THE TITAN SWORD OUT OF THE FIGURE. SOUGO GIVE THAT BACK. GIVE THEM THEIR TIME BACK.

It’s nice to know that Sougo is going to be doing fighting of his own as Grand, anyway, because he uses said Titan Sword to exchange some blows with Another Den-O.

Next up, OOO – lifted right out of his fight with the Neko Yummy in episode three, as I said two weeks ago. As in, one of the few times he used his Scanning Charge kick. The time where he blasted through a series of broken columns that were in mid-air, and showed up here with him.

As in, the scene we saw when the history of OOO disappeared, back in the OOO arc.

AND NOW THE ZI-O FIGURE REWINDS THAT ATTACK.

YEAH.

THE FIGURE ON HIS HEAD. IS EXPLICITLY THE ONE DOING THAT.

THIS IS FINE.

So now OOO hasn’t kicked Another Den-O anymore, his attack is paused.

AND SOUGO JUST SUMMONS THE FULLBOTTLE BUSTER FROM THE BUILD FIGURE.

He uses that to beat the heck out of Another Den-O some more, and OOO’s kick resumes!

Now Gaim gets pulled into the picture, using his initial sword attack.

Momotaros, being Momotaros, wants to get in the action, too! So he pulls out his pass, and transforms! OR NOT. Because as Woz points out, he just gave his powers as Den-O to Sougo.

Whoops. Don’t worry, Momo, we want to know why that’s a thing, too.

Sougo, being Sougo, has an idea!

“Here, I’ll just use this!”

He summons Den-O out of 2007, who is almost immediately possessed by current!Momotaros. Because OF COURSE he is.

And Momotaros, being Momotaros, ACTIVATES CLIMAX FORM! Thus pulling the other three, who are presumably the ones on the slightly-stolen DenLiner, into the temporally displaced Den-O.

This is amazing.

So, Climax Form Den-O is going to town on the small horde of Moles, and Deneb wants in, so Yuuto goes into Vega form, so now we’ve got both the 2007 Super modes just WAILING on these mooks.

So THAT’S DONE.

Now, for the finale~!

Grand Zi-O summons UPGRADED FORMS of the four Rider’s he summoned earlier. Build Genius, Watermelon Arms, a small horde of GataKiriBa OOO, and… one check of Rider Wiki later, Kuuga in his Pegasus form, riding the Gouram.

Another Den-O attacks them with his really cool slashes, and they all freeze in place – all in mid-air, mid-kick.

Grand Zi-O and Another Den-O trade some blows, Zi-O using his upgraded sword from Zi-O II, before he knocks Another Den-O into the air. At which point…

At which point the Zi-O figurine starts moving again, telling the others to go for it. Again, this is explicitly the figurine doing this.

SO ANOTHER DEN-O JUST TOOK KICKS FROM TWO POWERED UPGRADES, ABOUT 10 COPIES OF GATAKIRIBA, AND BUILD GENIUS, ON TOP OF THE FINISHER SOUGO HAD JUST USED ON HIM.

YEAH. I should HOPE that’s enough to destroy the Another Den-O watch.

So, hey, remember the OP? And how it has two sections where the previous Riders are all frozen mid-kick? The one when the OP starts, with Sougo, Tsukuyomi, and Geiz walking among them; and the one later on with Geiz and Zi-O performing their own kick, before the others resume mid-motion?

YEAH.

Turns out, Sayuri had asked Yukihiro to bring her to that bridge. She wanted to see it together with him, one last time. She asks Takuya to not hate him for it.

And Takuya – 2019!Takuya, who’s hated his friend for two years, who just became a monster to try and save her – is glad for her. That this was her choice.

And so, he goes to look out at the scenery with them, while the piano of Over Quartzer plays.

…

Yuuto.

Yuuto, while I’m glad that the sub confirms that I heard you correctly while watching live.

Yuuto, what sort of question is this?

“Are you really… Tokiwa Sougo?”

YUUTO. HEY. WHAT?!

YOU CAN’T JUST DROP THAT BIG-ASS QUESTION. AND THEN SAY ‘NEVER MIND’.

HEY. TOEI.

WTF.

YOU DON’T DROP THIS SHIT AT EP 40.

Yuuto heads off, Deneb still apologizing for him. Momo goes to say that ‘Yeah, kid, you’re kinda hot shot, aren’t ya? I mean, not as much as Ryotaro-’

SOUGO WHERE DID YOU GO?!

TIME PORTAL.

You know.

The type Kasshin dropped out of in ep 15. (cough bad end Kikai cough)

The type we saw Oma Zi-O through in ep 30.

And now we have Grand Zi-O in a red-hued valley, with a few patches of the ground on fire.

Oma Zi-O’s here.

“Greetings, the Youthful me. I see you’ve obtained the powers of all the riders. However, you’re still no match for me.”

“We’ll see about that. I think I can do this.”

Oma Zi-O just LAUNCHES a pair of Blade cards at him, followed shortly by a green-and-purple tornado.

Sougo doesn’t get knocked down this time around.

We end the episode with Grand Zi-O charging at Oma Zi-O.

So, the preview… is made of fear.

Just. Pure. Fear.

Oma Zi-O saying that someone’s changed the flow of time.

Woz calling Hiryuu his ‘new overlord.’

The fact that apparently being Oma Zi-O means you lose ALL fashion sense, given the absurd outfit Hiryuu’s got going on.

Hiryuu’s got the Another Zi-O watch again, and it’s upgraded.

Apparently everyone has forgotten who Sougo is.

Me: one guy in the chat: “ALL WE NEED IS DRIVE AND YET YOU GIVE US THIS”

Miyuko: W2G GUYS YOU BROKE TIME

Miyuko: (Also: I THINK UNCLE WAS TRYING TO KILL HIM)

Me: TIMELINE MACHINE BROKE

Me: YEAH

Me: NOT OKAY

Miyuko: NONE OF THIS IS OK

Me: EVERYTHING IS NOT FINE

basically: GREAT EP, TERRIFYING PREVIEW!!!

i can’t wait for next week

#kamen rider zi o #sailorcressy says #WELL THIS SURE WAS AN EPISODE

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: you left your headphones here, mate Jimmy: got 'em in my pocket if you wanna collect Jimmy: wouldn't subject you to Cass' interrogation tactics Jimmy: better off buying new, rich girl Janis: yeah, realized when I went to start this run Janis: already in Twix's bad books so can't have that, like Janis: drop in and get 'em in a few Jimmy: 💔 on the rocks already you two? Jimmy: gutted Jimmy: stay for breakfast if you want Janis: Are now, like Janis: How to explain with a look that you can't take her out 'cos you tryna be 🤐 tragic misunderstanding Janis: [pic of protein shake thing] 👍 Jimmy: did try & let her know my dad was in the mood to do you for dogknapping but Jimmy: she ain't the sharpest pup at the park Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Rude Janis: she got plenty of potential Jimmy: where? Janis: 🙄 Janis: she got as much as you in her right paw, like, don't be rude Jimmy: says you as you're then snide to me 👌 Jimmy: you know my smoothies are 💣 & so my future is set Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: gotta stand up for my girl ain't I Jimmy: 💪 Jimmy: who took her out? she best remember that 🥇 Janis: didn't know you cared 💕 Janis: can handle the competition okay Jimmy: nah, you'll be 💔 when she's only got 😍 for me Jimmy: especially 'cause I don't care, double blow 🎻 Janis: Scandalous Janis: hitting her up with the screenshots as we speak Jimmy: no secret, babe Jimmy: go on Janis: Poor bitch Janis: #youdeservebetterhun Jimmy: shoulda fought the law, Juliet Jimmy: reckon you'd have gotten pretty far with her before the take down Janis: Appreciate the faith Janis: but as I didn't even make it out the door without being #exposed Janis: idk Jimmy: Just by the 🐶 though? Janis: Nah, your Dad had to share how full of the joys he was this AM, like Jimmy: sorry Janis: ain't your fault Janis: and no big Jimmy: I invited you & he's my dad so as much as it can be, it is Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: just accept the apology Janis: alright Janis: might wanna tell him i'm not a prozzie though, just look like one Jimmy: did he say that? Janis: No, nah, 'course not Janis: just 👀s Jimmy: then don't be a dickhead Jimmy: he knows you're my girlfriend Janis: just joking Jimmy: funny Janis: gotta laugh Jimmy: nah Jimmy: join me in misery Janis: that bad? Jimmy: just joking Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: when you working 'til today Jimmy: 3 Jimmy: why? Janis: just working out when i can drop in to get my headphones Jimmy: I can give 'em to your sister Jimmy: she drops by at lunchtime like clockwork Janis: 😑 Janis: that would require talking to her Janis: for you and me Jimmy: I was reckoning more on a shove 'em at her & run Jimmy: gotta go on my break, soz gracie Janis: good 🍀 Janis: if she can read social cues at all she ignores them Jimmy: save me then, babe Jimmy: come yourself Janis: will do Janis: not lunchtime, obviously Janis: been summoned home anyway 🙄 Jimmy: you in the shit too? Jimmy: how #goals of us, Juliet Janis: truly Janis: it's only my dad, he ain't got no balls Jimmy: @ me in some shit to demonstrate our mutual pining like Jimmy: no way I'm allowed out until my dad's home at least Janis: figured Janis: least if you're effectively grounded no one waiting on that first date like Jimmy: he can't stop me taking the sibs & dog out but probably best if you don't show up too Janis: 👍 no problem Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: if you wanna keep it coupley, gonna have to be in work hours Janis: guess i got no excuse not to be there atm Janis: hmm Janis: i will show up at lunch, least we'll have a definite witness Janis: that'll keep 'em going Jimmy: they travel as a pack, we'll have 5 Jimmy: take some selfies, make a scene, go again. Easy, yeah? Janis: 🙄 such a fake bitch Jimmy: law of Leprechaun town Jimmy: got us in on it even Janis: least we're going for gold, what the fuck are you doing gracie Jimmy: least we know Mia's going for the throat Jimmy: god bless Janis: gonna have to go for yours Janis: don't take it personal Janis: no time for half-arsing it Jimmy: 💕 Janis: that's the #mood Jimmy: it'll piss my dad off too so sign me up Jimmy: more lasting you can make it, the better Janis: no amateur at either, babe Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: I remember Janis: Yeah? Janis: told ya Jimmy: you tell me a lot of things, Judith Jimmy: so chatty you Janis: 🖕 Janis: be off then Jimmy: alright Jimmy: 'til lunch my love Janis: 💘 Janis: you know the deal, have something not shit waiting for me Jimmy: I'm already there, baby 💕 Janis: 😏 dickhead Jimmy: do you want food or you just gonna snack on me like you're channeling a mia move? Janis: she's not inspiration or goals Janis: can't have her reckoning that, ever Jimmy: #thinspo Janis: 😂 Janis: get me a bacon sarnie to fuck her off Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: nowt sexy bout that but I'll 😍 best I can Janis: how rude Janis: what you want me to order, like u got anything phallic on the menu lads Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: you'll have a straw with your smoothie, it's fine Janis: I've been forced to endure many a teeny romcom, it's fine Janis: know what to do, boy Jimmy: weren't doubting Jimmy: easy for you anyway, what am I gonna do? lick out a coffee lid suggestively? nah Janis: please do Janis: need a good laugh Jimmy: piss off Janis: still think you're cute, don't worry baby Jimmy: yeah I know Janis: shut up Jimmy: save it for when you can make me Jimmy: the audience will love that Janis: yeah expecting applause Jimmy: I'll take the hit when Mia throws her iced coffee Jimmy: workers comp Janis: Love that for her, if only you didn't take your coffee like a basic bitch, might have the desired effect Jimmy: only gonna make me look hotter, girl so tah Janis: who isn't about a wet t-shirt moment Jimmy: she helps me out loads for someone who reckons they're a #hater Janis: save your thanks for the acceptance speech Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: not gonna thank her the way lads usually do Janis: #notliketherest is it? 😏 Jimmy: #standardsunliketherest Janis: If you say so Janis: me being your 'girlfriend' probably has 'em doubting that Jimmy: I had said it, loads Jimmy: Start listening, girl Jimmy: might stop you chatting shit for a sec Janis: Yeah yeah Janis: I heard ya Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: the manager's here Jimmy: in a bit Janis: 👍 laters Jimmy: 😘 Janis: [After] Janis: [Headphone selfie] Tah Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [Selfie to show the general disheveled state of him after that glorious PDA] Jimmy: likewise Janis: 😳 Janis: worked though Jimmy: I didn't reckon Mia's voice could get this high Janis: Ha 😂 Janis: so pressed Jimmy: their debrief is the real show Jimmy: & you're missing it Janis: Gutted 💔 Janis: gimme the play by play Jimmy: nowt you ain't heard before I'm sure Jimmy: 🎻 & 🗡 Janis: usual then Janis: sure gracie will fill me in on how much of a bitch i am no worries 🙄 Jimmy: if she don't you didn't do enough Jimmy: you'll have to come back Janis: yeah? doubt that was her shout somehow 😏 Jimmy: let me know Janis: If you think I'm letting her dictate 'round 2 you got the wrong twin Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Yeah, be sure to tell her how gutted you are about that Janis: love to get it #confirmed Jimmy: you're alright Janis: can't say i didn't try Jimmy: nobody can Jimmy: not after that display Janis: too much? Jimmy: nah Jimmy: it was spot on Janis: 🥇 Janis: no need to come back then Jimmy: unless you wanna smack Mia Jimmy: I'd be down to see that Janis: Perv Janis: and 'course I do but her bones might legit crumble and I don't need to get sued by Daddy Jimmy: 💔 Janis: I know babe Jimmy: more gutted I can't accidentally dump this order on the lot of 'em anyway Janis: can't even be mad Janis: #thecouplethathatestogether Janis: I legit couldn't stick another second of them Jimmy: I know babe Jimmy: A lesser ego would think you were desperate to get away from me, but not this one Janis: Thank God you're you 💘 Janis: can't be dealing with stroking egos and destroying others in one Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Love you too Janis: when will your dad forgive you/me enough Janis: wanna see twix, like Jimmy: He doesn't get back til 6.30 Jimmy: usually later Janis: so, between the hours of 6.30-6.30, she's all mine? Janis: well, share with the kids, not a total heartless cow Jimmy: yeah Janis: good to know Jimmy: not gonna stand in the way of #truelove am I? Janis: try it Jimmy: ain't got the energy today, darling Janis: 😏 Janis: oh colour me surprised Jimmy: you shouldn't be Jimmy: you know how I slept Janis: i know Janis: he was alright though once you went in with him yeah Jimmy: after a bit Janis: 👍 good stuff Janis: consolation i didn't sleep all that good either Jimmy: like I said, join me in misery Jimmy: you should drink coffee Janis: why are you trying to ruin me Jimmy: says the girl trying to kill me by any means she can Janis: You asked for it Jimmy: 😱 Jimmy: # something relevant for me 'bout that Janis: not blaming or shaming Janis: but you can't fool me, babe Janis: #youwantit Jimmy: #busted Jimmy: 😍💕 Janis: didn't know you were arty Janis: btw Jimmy: why would you? Janis: idk, feel like i shoulda guessed Janis: #softboi Jimmy: piss off Janis: you're pretty good Jimmy: now really piss off Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 😑 Janis: 'scuse me Janis: giving you a compliment Jimmy: save it for when you can gimme one that matters Jimmy: just doing my bit Janis: Fussy Jimmy: what? Janis: My compliment not good enough 😜 Jimmy: gimme a better one then Jimmy: 'cause that's bollocks Jimmy: it's just a doodle not even that #goals Janis: can say my standards ain't high as yours then Janis: whatever, boy Jimmy: give & you take 💔 Janis: You're prettier than you've drawn yourself Janis: happy? Jimmy: you're prettier than I've drawn you Jimmy: shit artist Janis: ugh stop Janis: 🥊 Jimmy: take the compliment, dickhead Janis: you first Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Cute Jimmy: tell me something I don't know, Jennifer Janis: Alright Janis: I wish I could come back Jimmy: why can't you? Janis: Lots of reasons Janis: they're still there, for one Jimmy: that's a point in the 'why you should' column Jimmy: don't leave me with 'em Janis: poor baby Janis: but I don't know if I can chill Jimmy: we don't chill Jimmy: so fine Janis: you gotta work Jimmy: I'm on the clock with you putting in those fake boyfriend hours Janis: but Jimmy: what? Janis: I want you Jimmy: then come back Janis: it's okay yeah Jimmy: we got interrupted last night, it's only fair we get to make up the time now Janis: it's so hard just kissing you and walking away now Jimmy: I'll be done here in a bit Jimmy: we can leave together Janis: alright Janis: they better not say shit, actually not in the mood Jimmy: I'll fake sick & you can meet me outside? Jimmy: hangover's believable Janis: where we gonna go? Jimmy: I don't know Janis: Come back to mine Jimmy: ain't there 100s of you? Janis: Yeah but rich bitch no Janis: there's places, don't worry Jimmy: alright Jimmy: but if we get interrupted again I'm fake dumping you Janis: we won't Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: where are you now? I can meet you there depending Janis: Gym Janis: had to distract myself somehow Jimmy: like I said, trying to kill ME constantly Jimmy: you're welcome for the headphones then Janis: Like I said, gotta make sure you feel it too Jimmy: you're wearing those clothes again, aren't you? Jimmy: I'll pass the news on to Mia before I go Janis: What else was I gonna wear, like Janis: sure she'll be thrilled Janis: fill in the blanks yourself though, babes Jimmy: a ballgown for all I know Jimmy: not set foot inside a gym Janis: don't let on Janis: so not #goals Janis: who they gonna take #gymselfies with Jimmy: you Jimmy: I'm ken to your barbie, Julie, basically surplus Janis: Please, I actually workout when I'm there, not stare at boys whilst also making sure I look #fit at all times pracing on the treadmill Jimmy: I know Jimmy: I can tell Janis: so 💪 Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: you're really fit Janis: shh Jimmy: I get it, you don't wanna talk Jimmy: I'm leaving, don't worry Janis: Good Janis: I'm done with waiting and interruptions and other people Jimmy: where am I going? Jimmy: realised I don't know where you live Janis: Ugh, middle of bloody nowhere literally Janis: Easier if you dare to step in the gym and I'll come with Jimmy: could've sent a car for me, rich girl, or a 🐎 Jimmy: but alright Janis: 🙄 we don't have horses, thank God Janis: there is a donkey if you wanna be that dickhead, very Blackpool, init? right at home Janis: [gym location] literally, down the road and do a left, you'll see all the wankers in the window benches posing Jimmy: swap you for the dog, just kick them cats out & you'll be right Jimmy: gimme a sec Janis: give you 5 mins, even as a 🚬 Jimmy: tah 💕 Jimmy: that's love Janis: it's something Janis: show you when you get here Jimmy: not what I want you to show me Jimmy: but I guess Jimmy: I'll survive Janis: what do you want? Jimmy: last night didn't help you figure it out? Janis: Got some ideas Jimmy: you'll get more Jimmy: just wait 'til I get there Janis: Inspiring Janis: thought I was meant to be the #muse Jimmy: you reckon we're a team Jimmy: I remember you saying Janis: I remember lots of things you said Janis: and everything you didn't Jimmy: won't have to repeat myself then, will I? Janis: I won't be mad if you have to repeat some things Janis: just saying Jimmy: you can do some of the exact same things too, if you want Janis: I intend to Janis: and more, better Janis: had plenty of time to think now Jimmy: just how far away is your house? I need to catch up Janis: Glad you said it 😏 Janis: like 15 on the bus 🙄 but I can tell you all about it then Janis: if I whisper, like Jimmy: 🤞 our fave grandma is there Janis: 😂 Janis: down to give her a reason to really hate Jimmy: are you even goals 'til you turn a hater into a fan? Jimmy: don't think so Janis: ew don't be tryna turn old ladies on Janis: omg, are you your ex Janis: tryna let me down gently Jimmy: there never was an ex #plot twist Jimmy: Barry is my true love Janis: damn Janis: i don't need you to be my true love though barry it's alright Jimmy: stashed the baby in the back of the CG it's why I take such long breaks Jimmy: don't even 🚬 Janis: suspiciously good with kids Janis: damn wait 'til they find out the real #tea Jimmy: 😂 Janis: imma look a fool but i hope barry isn't cheating on you, hearing that cry for help now, babe, soz 💔 Jimmy: channel it into my art, don't I? 🎻🎨 Janis: you did a good job not making me look like an old man Janis: hard to resist, I'm sure Jimmy: shoulda seen my first draft Janis: 😂 Jimmy: you do look better than I can draw you though, for real Jimmy: it ain't my preferred method or whatever Janis: yeah? Jimmy: bit rude if you don't know what is 'cause you've been spending loads of time posing for it Jimmy: means I'm shit at that too Janis: huh, no Janis: that makes perfect sense Janis: you do take a good snap Janis: also why they all thirsting, casual personal photographer 🙄 oh ladies Janis: not that you ain't fit too but you know Jimmy: we all know what the real attraction is Jimmy: keep getting more #goals me Jimmy: shame I had to be in 'em or I could've taught Mia about angles and improved her story even more Jimmy: you fucked up there, mate Jimmy: should've gone with Pete and let me film it Janis: full package, babe Janis: didn't feel like a shame, trust me Janis: though your desire to make money outta me making more and more sense #starvingartist Janis: you're the one that'll have to edit out his cum face Jimmy: hang on, you can let me know what this feels like Jimmy: [dramatic gym kiss hello] Janis: Well Jimmy: unconvincing Jimmy: [kisses her again because] Janis: Jimmy Janis: if you don't stop I'll have to start something right here Jimmy: nowt you've just said is making me want to Janis: I know Janis: Why do I want you this bad, fuck Jimmy: 💔 why wouldn't you, dickhead Janis: Shh it ain't personal Jimmy: what is it then? Jimmy: you said me Janis: I meant Janis: I don't know, this ain't exactly what I do everyday Jimmy: it should be Jimmy: you're good at it Janis: you Jimmy: us maybe Jimmy: it works Janis: Yeah Janis: that's what I mean, I think Janis: it's weird but it just does Janis: really good Jimmy: Like I said, you're weird Jimmy: 'course you like it Janis: why am i weird Jimmy: 'cause you're just Jimmy: different Jimmy: from them, from what I thought you were Jimmy: I don't know Janis: i cannot believe you thought i was one of them Janis: 😂 in what world Jimmy: not your sister, the collective them of this whole town Jimmy: you're just more like someone from before Jimmy: I can't explain it alright, shut up Janis: It's alright Janis: [Kisses him] Jimmy: we gotta go Jimmy: I can't stay here doing this and not Jimmy: I can't even finish the sentence 'cause you're like Jimmy: we just need to leave Janis: Me too Janis: Come on Janis: we just need to Janis: yeah Jimmy: yeah Janis: [On bus 'cos they can't keep kissing the entire time without anything happening so reprieve] Janis: I didn't think this would happen Jimmy: why? Janis: well, you know,you were kinda a dickhead, i'm kinda a dickhead all the time Janis: this wasn't the first logical conclusion to jump to Jimmy: sort of is Jimmy: we're both dickheads Jimmy: #matchmadeinheaven Janis: 😏 when you put it in words it sounds logical Janis: grace reckoned you were using me to get to her and i knew that weren't the truth but idk Jimmy: I know what it is, you reckoned I'd be a shit kisser all big ego & worse chat Jimmy: thought you'd have to suffer through it Janis: pretty much Janis: spot on Jimmy: not the first time I've made that impression Jimmy: or proved it wrong Janis: i bet Janis: wouldn't be the first time i'd suffered through so you know Jimmy: really? Janis: 'course Janis: hasn't everyone? Jimmy: gimme names I'll put them on blast Jimmy: twitter campaign with my newly unlocked account Janis: 😂 productive Jimmy: if one is Mia especially Janis: Christ, as much as she wants to turn me so she can be vindicated in her gaybashing Janis: hell no Jimmy: her teeth could fall out & choke you Jimmy: #goals Janis: 🤢 Janis: she can't be a good lay, I don't get it Jimmy: she isn't, I can tell Jimmy: just an effortless catch Janis: yeah? guess if you ain't yourself, ideal girl Jimmy: she'll be one of those girls who just lies there Jimmy: makes you do everything & then slates you for it Janis: exactly, 'cos heaven forbid you try and chat shit back Jimmy: why is your sister friends with her? I don't get that Janis: bitches of a feather Jimmy: but when she comes in on her own she's like Jimmy: shy Jimmy: nice in a 'don't you dare look at me' way Janis: meh, she's a co-dependent Janis: always has been Jimmy: is that like a twin thing? Janis: fuck off, I don't need her Janis: see me with a Mia to chase around like a puppy? Jimmy: nah, I mean like, she needs you but you don't need her so there's Mia ready Janis: idk, maybe Janis: i think anyone can be like that, some people can't hack being alone but it probably done help that she weren't even in the womb, yeah 🙄 Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: my brother & sister need me Jimmy: it's exhausting but I can't not do it Janis: they are kids though, that's excusable, like Janis: still hardwork, no doubt Jimmy: Cass ain't much younger than me though Janis: yeah but gracie has two perfectly lovely parents and an array of brothers and sisters and various fam about, if she's that arsed, know what i mean Janis: being close makes sense when its small like you gotta Janis: she don't need to be how she is on me Jimmy: I'm being a dickhead & you're being spot on Jimmy: I just want her to settle in, you know what I mean Janis: you're alright, most people think it 'cos loads of twins are freaky joined at the hip, so that's what she reckons she wants too but tough shit, you know, didn't ask to be born with her Janis: 'course Janis: it must be shit Janis: she'll be alright, it's that age where everyone's sorta stil mates, not dead separate Janis: she can hold her own Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: least my dad timed it better for them than he did for me Janis: you know Janis: parents are cunts Janis: our older sister had to do so much for us 'til she got sick of and fucked off basically Jimmy: hang on while I tweet that wisdom & @ him Jimmy: yeah he has twitter honestly Janis: cringe Janis: probs subtweeting 'bout me this morning like 👋 Jimmy: I don't reckon he knows what he's doing on it Jimmy: just wants to tell his girlfriends how relevant he stays Janis: can't really slide into someone's fucking linked in Janis: 'less it's with a business offer Jimmy: he does like to mix business and pleasure Jimmy: many an office romance Janis: 😬 Janis: always a good idea Jimmy: I told you, keeps jobs only slightly longer than he does lasses Jimmy: it's all connected, mate Janis: effort Janis: least i can ask to move seats Janis: can't be like, sack debbie from accounts bye Jimmy: don't be trying to have me expelled when school starts Janis: alright, thought you'd be buzzin' but i'll go Janis: cba Jimmy: I wanna go 'cause its bollocks not 'cause they've told me to Jimmy: more of a fuck you to my dad that way Janis: rebel with a cause okay 😍 Jimmy: I'm just saying he'd love it if I got kicked out so he can pretend he's right about what a waste of space I am Jimmy: like I don't do everything he can't be bothered to Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: seriously though Janis: that's just shitty adult speak for 'do my job for me' Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: I keep telling him that I reckon Bobby needs to like talk to someone or some shit but nah, I'll do the work for free Jimmy: qualified fucking child therapist me Janis: duh, got that PHD done between CG and school and full-time childcare Janis: 'cos when nothing happens, or only bad does, can blame you Janis: not deal with how some of it's likely on him Janis: and sorting it fully is, what can you do, or poor Bobby Jimmy: just worry bout him all the time 👍 Jimmy: tah dad really helpful Janis: useless, all parents are Jimmy: didn't wanna sleep in my own bed or get a decent night of it anyway Jimmy: it's fine Janis: but if you complain, you're selfish, yeah? when it ain't complaining for sake of, you just want something actually done Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: & fucked if I wanna stay with you or have you over Jimmy: how dare I Janis: how wild, a teenage boy with urges Janis: right for him though 'cos his roof and all that Jimmy: & new house new rules Jimmy: 'cause that makes sense Janis: 🙄 Janis: only stupid people would have kids, that's my theory Janis: if you had a brain, and could be sorta in change of another human, you wouldn't want to Jimmy: @ Barry next time, babe Janis: fuck you Barry, coming for your mans too and what Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: how do you do that? Jimmy: make me laugh when everything is still shit Janis: Just my renowned personality that Janis: everyone reckons, like 😏 Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause he does reckon, sorry bus peeps] Janis: Welcome Jimmy: when I don't say it that means you don't either, dickhead Janis: soz, new to this friends malarkey, like Jimmy: #friendzoned Jimmy: 💔 Janis: shut up Janis: you need reminding of what we're about to do Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: I do need to shut up & stop throwing my emotional baggage at you, very ungoals Janis: [Kisses him for the reminder and 'cos] Janis: Not to shut you up 'cos nah Jimmy: a bit Jimmy: but its alright Janis: got plenty of baggage to throw at you should you ever wanna even that score Janis: but I ain't telling so far as the world is concerned we're both 🥇 Jimmy: It's like I said last night, I don't mind talking to you but not this second Jimmy: I just want Janis: What? Jimmy: just kiss me again Janis: [More] Jimmy: I'm not saying tah Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 😏 Janis: Glad to hear that ain't what you say after Janis: would have been a struggle to act my way over that Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: what was it you said? Very polite very un me Janis: Something like that Jimmy: I'll try & call you by the right name though Jimmy: not let any Barry's slip out Janis: 😑 please try Janis: no convincing myself I heard you wrong Janis: ego can't hack that, like 🤷 Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 🖕 Janis: could at least give me false promises now, boy Jimmy: no fake shit Jimmy: not for this Janis: deal Jimmy: [kisses her again cos yolo bitches] Janis: that was real? Janis: shit Jimmy: or how we make deals in the north, Irish girl Jimmy: figure it out Janis: 😏 as amusing as the mental image of business bro dickheads getting off with each other literal to seal a deal is Jimmy: you're welcome Jimmy: just don't think about my dad or we've got a problem Janis: no danger Janis: safe to say the feeling's mutual too Jimmy: least you'll be long rid of me before I start to look like him Jimmy: again, welcome Janis: 👍 Janis: baz can have you back Jimmy: he'll be dead Jimmy: come on Jimmy: life expectancy of 61 up north & that's if you try Janis: 😂 whoops Janis: pine then bitch Jimmy: 💔🎻 Jimmy: black's my colour anyway so sorted Janis: mhmm, buzzin' for it, I know Janis: welcome again Janis: i really fucked your neck up didn't i [touches] Jimmy: I okayed it before & during, didn't I? Janis: okayed during is an understatement but i'll allow it Janis: save your blushes Jimmy: I didn't have the blood spare for 😳 Janis: such a waste Janis: all the times you've turned me on in public Jimmy: how many? you can round up or whatever school ain't started Janis: Let me think Janis: I don't know, every time we've met up, before you've even kissed me half the time Janis: sometimes just when we've been talking like this, you're hot Jimmy: Where are we if we stop the bus and get off right now? Jimmy: 'Cause I really want to properly turn you on now you've said that Janis: Umm no neighbourhood I know, babe Janis: we've got all afternoon Janis: patience 😘 Jimmy: I'm too northern for that Janis: Excuse for everything 😏 Jimmy: if I'm gonna be dead in 40 odd years that's the only excuse I need Janis: Cheery 😉 Janis: go on then Janis: don't waste any more time, see how turned on I am now [moves hands winkwonk] Jimmy: [saucy activities ensue like I'm surprised ruster don't appear like don't steal our thunder bitch] Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: ?? Janis: just practicing Janis: can't say it out loud right now Jimmy: practicing trying to kill me, yeah? alright Janis: you don't need no practice, clearly Jimmy: #muse remember Janis: you're good let's do this all day Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: if I get cramp and can't sling a latte tomorrow, on your head Janis: what do i care, i don't drink 'em Janis: 😈 Jimmy: that's the most #goals thing you've ever said to me Jimmy: as far as my personal ones go Janis: the ones we're keeping off the 'gram Jimmy: yeah Janis: do need to think of a non-cringe way to hype up how good you are though, don't get it twisted ladies 😍 Jimmy: while you're thinking Jimmy: [keeps being a saucy bastard cos no chill] Janis: Oh my God Janis: please, I need to bite you some more Jimmy: shit, I've never heard you say please before Jimmy: real or fake Janis: too real, you got me polite as you want, come on or this bus is gonna hear my prettiest too Jimmy: 😍 Jimmy: alright Janis: you taste so Jimmy: if its anything like how you taste then I Janis: i wish we had more time i just wanna climb on top of you and Janis: but we're about 3 stops away now Jimmy: [moves her himself 'cause he's cheeky like that] Jimmy: and what? Janis: fuck me Janis: we're gonna get in trouble Jimmy: that's the plan Jimmy: I'll get in trouble for you, it don't matter Jimmy: if anyone asks I'll just say it's all fake Janis: you feel pretty real under me right now Jimmy: you feel Jimmy: I thought I liked kissing you but this is Janis: I want it all Janis: so fucking much I didn't know I could this bad Jimmy: like you said, we've got all afternoon Janis: not long enough Janis: it's a start Jimmy: warn me if you're gonna say shit like that so I can warn everyone on this bus how I'll react Janis: Not sorry Janis: only sorry it's not School time so we could bunk and have all day without feeling bad Jimmy: excuse me while I turn it into a laugh/cry 🎭 Jimmy: don't mind me everyone, rehearsing my death scene Janis: They're all impressed, can't hide it Janis: 🥇 Jimmy: impressed by you Jimmy: you look Janis: Nah only you Jimmy: take the compliment, Janis Janis: Okay Janis: as you remembered my name, like Jimmy: I said I'd try Janis: I'm impressed by your efforts too, don't worry Janis: not gonna go unrewarded Jimmy: [kisses just because] Janis: How do you do that Jimmy: what? Janis: make kissing Janis: good Jimmy: I told you, you're good at it Jimmy: I take pretend it's all me Jimmy: can't* Janis: Suppose so Janis: doesn't say much for everyone else I've kissed but maybe I was shit then Jimmy: like I said, gimme the list Jimmy: they must've been fucking it up 'cause you're Jimmy: you're just not shit Janis: thanks Janis: sorry everyone but not really, ain't that deep Jimmy: were you really surprised when we first kissed or just me Janis: No, I was like Janis: you're gonna think I'm cringe or just saying it but I didn't know it could feel like that Janis: that's why it's got me thinking on everyone else, like what the fuck lads, why were you holding out Jimmy: I get it, I didn't expect it to feel like this either Jimmy: fuck you, Barry, honestly Janis: 😂 Janis: For real Janis: like, it wasn't even 'cos I thought you'd be shit really Janis: idk Janis: weird Jimmy: I didn't think you'd be shit Jimmy: for the record Jimmy: just not into it Janis: 🤷 Oops Janis: that's what I expected and intended too, I guess, just a deal, like Janis: but Janis: just feels too good Jimmy: We've still got a deal Jimmy: only it's changed a bit Jimmy: now it includes getting to finish what I started without some dickhead interrupting me Janis: Please Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause she said please again it makes him die] Janis: [Misses stop 'cos really, has to get off at next one] Janis: That was your fault Jimmy: yours too Jimmy: I don't know the stops, girl Jimmy: you've got one job, I was doing mine Janis: Hmm well perhaps if yours wasn't distracting me you could be doing your REAL job by now 😒 Jimmy: if that's what you wanna call how you felt, go on Janis: Hush, you cannot break my concentration now Jimmy: where the fuck are we? Janis: Farm town, boyo Janis: you ever fucked in a barn before? Jimmy: how would I? Jimmy: you know where I'm from Janis: idk how adventurous your life has been Jimmy: it ain't been well travelled Jimmy: til now Janis: you're welcome for the detour Jimmy: how long 'til we're back where we need to be? Janis: Only 5 if you keep up Janis: wasn't THAT distracted, soz Jimmy: let me get some blood circulating and stop being brutal Janis: 😏 Jimmy: 👍 lets go Janis: Do your best to sneak, yeah, God knows who's about Jimmy: easy for you to say, still so quiet on that bus somehow Jimmy: like a horny mute Janis: piss off Janis: that's such an unsexy thing to call me you bastard Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: it's impressive Janis: it's just self-control Jimmy: what's it gonna take to make you lose it? Janis: Maybe you'll find out Jimmy: I will Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: if it takes me longer than this afternoon, then fine Janis: you wanna do this again Janis: not this exact scenario, detour included like Jimmy: do you? Janis: you always do that Janis: answer questions with questions Janis: sly Jimmy: that still ain't an answer from you Janis: yeah Janis: i wanna Janis: i like it Jimmy: I like you Jimmy: don't be weird about it Jimmy: weirder Janis: forever a dickhead Jimmy: piss off it's a compliment, how many times Janis: 😂 okay okay Janis: i get it, you like weird Janis: i like dickheads, namely you though Jimmy: bet you love yourself, you massive dickhead Jimmy: I like you & you happen to be weird, it's not a fetish or owt Janis: do actually 💪 Janis: got my own name tattooed on my arse, like Jimmy: 📷 one for the insta then Jimmy: least it'll help me remember it Janis: That's why I got it Janis: saves a conversation Jimmy: stop making me laugh Jimmy: trying to be mad at you for making us miss our stop Janis: you know you can't be mad at this face Janis: or this arse Jimmy: [kisses her and touches the booty 'cause true] Janis: See Janis: 😍 Jimmy: alright, shut up Janis: can make me in a minute Jimmy: I can make you now Jimmy: if you're gonna keep on Janis: Back to being mute Janis: thought you wanted to hear some noise, contrary Jimmy: leave it out Janis: 🤐 Janis: ❓ Jimmy: [starts being saucy to try and get her to make noise] Janis: You know how much I like to win, yeah? Jimmy: as much as me Janis: Oh baby Janis: you wish 😏 Jimmy: I know Jimmy: [cranks his naughty behaviour up a notch which makes me lol like where even are you lads? calm down] Janis: You know I have to live 'round here, right Jimmy: you do, I don't Jimmy: you know how to make me stop Janis: Bastard Jimmy: just stop holding it in Janis: I don't know if I'll be able to stop if I do Jimmy: I don't want you to stop Jimmy: do you? Janis: No but Jimmy: you want everything, gimme this Jimmy: [more sauciness 'cause] Janis: [is loud, hopefully no one is about lol] Jimmy: Fuck Jimmy: you really were holding out on me, weren't you? Janis: It's just Janis: embarrassing Jimmy: It's just amazing Janis: No bullshitting? Jimmy: I said I wouldn't Janis: Okay good Jimmy: You're so hot Jimmy: how you look, feel, taste, sound Jimmy: I just want it Janis: You're Janis: I don't know why but I'm not gonna question it because I want you just as much Janis: More Jimmy: [more kisses] Janis: We need to keep walking Jimmy: yeah Janis: I don't want to either but I need you to fuck me so Jimmy: It's alright, I need it too Jimmy: we can do this Janis: 💪 Jimmy: 🥇

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blackpink · 6 years

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it sucks being left on read like my old ‘friends’ used to do that for days!!! and it would be like i’d said something that has annoyed them so their solution was to not tell me and ignore me for a week like??? yeah but dropped them & my new friends message me first and ask how i am etc and actually care. not nice being left on read, if you’ve opened the message u have time to reply u know?? so u 100% get u. like maybe tell em they do it but be prepared for them not caring that they do

yeah i feel you, we deserve better.

i decided to just drop them, this is like the fifth time they behaved like this and you know that saying “fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me.”

so i just went to the gym and while being on the treadmill i saw that the aquarius added me back to the group and msgd me lmao bye fuck off

#you are so so so so right #i also deserve friends who actually care about me #like sundays are usually fully planned out and when i take the time to meet up w someone #i expect them to actually care #and make an effort #is that too much to ask for #to be treated with respect #god im so pissed #answered #Anonymous #i might go and work out again later

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unsuccesscr · 6 years

Conversation

BNHA crack server sentence starters

"Also I’m not a dumb fuck don’t put me in this group!"

"don't be a coward, wear all three at once"

"I didn't know I was full of shame lol but clearly I am"

"Everyone in here is full of shame"

"Excuse me I am an intellectual. This is intellectual erasure"

"this is dumbass erasure and I will not stand for it"

"__ALWAYS WANTS TO FIGHT IM GONNA HAVE THEM PUT DOWN ONE OF THESE DAYS SUPPORT MY FUCKING KCISTARTER"

"___ is cancelled their shitposts are out of control"

"i already got my memes ready"

"Like how do you tell someone to shut the fuck up nicely?"

"i chose the wrong day to forget deodorant"

"I'M GONNA WRING YOUR NECK"

"bold of u to assume i'm not always stupid"

"The reason Clifford wasn’t held down was he was a communist"

"i'm playing a zombie that gets shot so finally i can die"

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO"

"STOP TELLING ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE"

"aint no one googlin specific anime here its either in my head or NOTHIN"

"gettin my bed to Bed....WAIT"

"hey does anyone else want to kick ___'s ass with me"

"He tries to hide it but man I can smell the teen spirit"

"wow i literally cant type"

"what is nice"

"catch me scream crying some lying is the most fun a girl can have with her clothes on"

"stitch doesnt get enough credit tbh"

"I personally like being a witch"

"He had to do it to em"

"where’s my bird boy"

"no its ok guys u can be normal around me"

"___is a figment of our imagination"

"I’m old and gay an old gay"

"im stupid thats why. also, perish"

"YEAHH BOI !!"

"icb my irl is ‘bird bitch’ .... he’s a furry, not a bitch,"

"im glad i make people realize the Truth"

"MY TAX LOVING LAWYER DOING CHILD"

"im not letting this be my legacy."

"hey wanna see. reverse vore ?"

"you fool.... he does"

"i'm finally back on the computer hell yeah"

"who the fuck disrespected my son this way"

"isnt there a song called i want my mullet back or something"

"heelys for your feelys"

"Can't catch me I have my heelys bitch"

"hey have you guys contributed to ___'s kickstarter to kill me yet? its a very good cause"

"don't correct me ever again."

"Let's just say that he's taken a pillow and surfed down the stairs of the dorms while on a sugar high"

"I can hear the dial up noise"

"a good ass day sounds like a good day to me"

"one time it was hot and i asked my mom if i could turn on the ac and she told me to turn off my light"

"i don't know how to roast people. i only know how to love them and threaten them"

"Oh shit the red lobster biscuits"

"GOOD MORNIN U BEAUTIFUL BASTARDS"

"it’s a morning, all right"

"not as cursed but still has big bitch energy"

"I LOVE DRAGONS"

#meme #rp meme #I love these guys #;;out of character #;;meme

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hellomehlo · 6 years

Text

Get To Know Me Tag!

It me - time for me to answer some questions!

1. what is your full name?: Emily (that’s all I’m gon’ share :D) 2. what are your nicknames?: Em 3. birthday?: november 2nd 4. what is your favorite book series?: A Court of Thorns and Roses series 5. do you believe in aliens or ghosts?: ghosts kinda sorta maybe? 6. who is your favorite author?: Sarah J Maas for ever and ever 7. what is your favorite radio station?: i don’t listen to the radio ha 8. what is your favorite flavor of anything?: Mint - spearmint, peppermint anything is yummmm 9. what word would you often use to describe something great or wonderful?: noice 10. what is your current favorite song?: the entire les miserables 10th anniversary dreamcast soundtrack 11. what is your favorite word?: yeet 12. what was the last song you listened to?: Prologue from Les Mis 10th Anniversary dreamcast soundtrack 13. what tv show would you recommend for everyone to watch?: Brooklyn Nine Nine and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt 14. what is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?: Barbie movies (don’t judge me pls) 15. do you play video games?: yes 16. what is your biggest fear?: losing someone I love 17. what is your best quality, in your opinion?: uh, I’m optimistic? 18. what is your worst quality, in your opinion?: Perfectionism. 19. do you like cats or dogs better?: Don’t make me pick (but dogs probs) 20. what’s your favorite season?: summer 21. are you in a relationship?: nope. 22. what is something you miss from your childhood?: Being little enough to sit on my dad’s shoulders 23. who is your best friend?: One girl from my dance class - we’re both huuuuge theatre nerds 24. what is your eye color?: blue 25. what is your hair color?: reddish brown 26. who is someone you love? My ma 27. who is someone you trust?: see 26 28. who is someone you think about often?: see 26 29. are you currently excited about/for something?: I get to move interstate for university in a few weeks and I’m v excited 30. what is your biggest obsession?: Musical Theatre 31. what was your favorite tv show as a child?: Hi-5 32. who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone?: My dad, I guess 33. are you superstitious?: A bit 34. do you have any unusual phobias?: what counts as unusual tho, idk probably not. Spiders are a pretty normal phobia? 35. do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?: in front of the camera 36. what is your favorite hobby?: singin’ 37. what was the last book you read?: Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare 38. what was the last movie you watched?: Moonraker - James Bond 39. what musical instruments do you play, if any?: Piano, Violin, Guitar and Voice 40. what is your favorite animal?: Llamas (duh) 41. what are your top 5 tumblr blogs that you follow?: @gerbits @allieice @darlingimmafangirl @lemonywaffles @suddenlycowplants 42. what superpower do you wish you had?: The ability to manipulate rainbows 43. when and where do you feel most at peace?: On a holiday I went on recently to Indonesia, watching the sun set on a beach 44. what makes you smile?: The Trixie and Katya Show 45. what sports do you play, if any?: I dance :) 46. what is your favorite drink?: fruit smoothies 47. when was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?: this morning - had to remind my brother to check his phone ‘cause I went out while he was still asleep 48. are you afraid of heights?: I’m not afraid of being up high, but I’m afraid of falling 49. what is your biggest pet peeve?: PEOPLE THAT USE INCORRECT GRAMMAR 50. have you ever been to a concert?: yes 51. are you vegan/vegetarian?: I’m like...a selective vegetarian. 52. when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?: A pop star, just like Hannah Montana 53. what fictional world would you like to live in?: Either Prythian from ACoTaR, or the Overwatch universe. 54. what is something you worry about?: EVERYTHING 55. are you scared of the dark?: yes 56. do you like to sing?: I do indeedy 57. have you ever skipped school?: Never by choice - but doctors and dentists love scheduling appointments in the middle of the school day grr grr 58. what is your favorite place on the planet?: in a theatre 59. where would you like to live?: Melbourne, or LA (I know it sounds cliche, but like kinda) 60. do you have any pets?: I used to have a fat goldfish but he died, aged 11 years old ;-; 61. are you more of an early bird or night owl?: night owl 62. do you like sunrises or sunsets better?: sunset 63. do you know how to drive?: Well I can legally and physically drive a car, but uh - I’ve been too busy in life to take my test, so I guess I’ll be on my Learner’s forever -_- 64. do you prefer earbuds or headphones?: depends on my mood 65. have you ever had braces?: yeaaaah, back in middle school 66. what is your favorite genre of music?: MUSICAL THEATRE 67. who is your hero?: my mum 68. do you read comic books?: no 69. what makes you the most angry?: PEOPLE USING BAD GRAMMAR 70. do you prefer to read on an electronic device or a real book?: real book 71. what is your favorite subject in school?: music, or the school musical 72. do you have any siblings?: yeh, one younger brother 73. what was the last thing you bought?: Online: a phone case that says ‘oh honey’ on the back (Trixie Mattel where u @ gurlllll) IRL: Oats 74. how tall are you?: 5′7 75. can you cook?: not to save my life, but I need to learn before i move away fml 76. what are three things that you love?: musical theatre, RuPaul’s Drag Race and Overwatch 77. what are three things that you hate?: stress, homophobia, the fact that they cancelled Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt after 4 seasons ;-; 78. do you have more female friends or male friends?: female 79. what is your sexual orientation?: straight/heterosexual 80. where do you currently live?: Australiaaaaaa 81. who was the last person you texted?: My group of theatre nerd friends 82. when was the last night you cried?: like a week ago when I went to a production of Les Mis starring heaps of my friends and I was so proud I cried 83. who is your favorite youtuber?: vixella/heyimbee 84. do you like to take selfies?: yeah! 85. what is your favorite app?: snapchat, youtube or netflix, can’t pick. 86. what is your relationship with your parent(s) like?: my mom is the best, and so is my dad! 87. what is your favorite foreign accent?: American, but that’s cause I have to use one for just about every musical I’m in 88. what is a place that you’ve never been to, but want to visit?: HARRY POTTER WORLD IN LA 89. what is your favorite number?: 8 90. can you juggle?: kinda, but not well enough to brag 91. are you religious?: idk at this point, kinda but not fully idk 92. do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting?: ocean - space scares me 93. do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?: fuck no 94. are you allergic to anything?: dust 95. can you curl your tongue?: mhm! 96. can you wiggle your ears?: no 97. how often do you admit that you were wrong about something?: I should more often than I do 98. do you prefer the forest or beach?: beach 99. what is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?: You do you, girl. 100. are you a good liar?: I think I am, but my friends disagree 101. what is your hogwarts house?: Ravenclaw 102. do you talk to yourself?: yep 103. are you an introvert or extrovert?: ambivert 104. do you keep a journal/diary?: i’ve had one since I was 7, but I only write in it like once every 2 years 105. do you believe in second chances?: depends 106. if you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?: turn it in 107. do you believe people are capable of change?: yes 108. are you ticklish?: absolutely, but don’t do it 109. have you ever been on a plane?: yeah 110. do you have any piercings?: my ears are pierced 111. what fictional character do you wish was real?: RHYSAND FROM ACOTAR, GIMME GIMME 112. do you have any tattoos?: no, and don’t plan on getting any 113. what is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?: moving dance schools 114. do you believe in karma?: yes 115. do you wear glasses/contacts?: no 116. do you want children?: haven’t decided, probably tho 117. who is the smartest person you know?: my teachers 118. what is your most embarrassing memory?: tripping up the stairs onto a stage on my way to receive an award 119. have you ever pulled an all-nighter?: no 120. what color are most of your clothes?: navy blue, burgundy, black 121. do you like adventures?: sometimes 122. have you ever been on tv?: i’ve appeared on the news in advertisments for musicals I’m in, but I’ve never been interviewed ;-; 123. how old are you?: 18 124. what is your favorite quote?: “fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times...you’re a fucking idiot, change off widowmaker, I don’t wanna be sniped anymore.” - Muselk 125. do you prefer sweet or savory foods?: savoury

#non sims #hoooo boy this took me so long #enjoy

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tvvoshoes · 6 years

Text

it me ... emmy ... again ... finally w my second muse, the half-angelic half-cursed oc, goody ! she’s all beauty n no barely brains, a full [ jughead vc ] weirdo, and somehow both ur mom friend and token annoying squad member all at once somehow bc who even knows if she actually has any friends... not me ! tw for nondescript mentions of murder, suicide, cult antics n just goody in general !

*　laura harrier, cisfemale, she/her, oc　━━　riverdale’s very own PARIS NEFRET FAUXCHEUX is now twenty-four years old. they have lived in town for six years, and pop never forgot their regular ━ literally just a glass full of whipped cream with a spoon. you’ll likely find the cult member hanging around sweetwater plaza, probably preaching the word of her leaders to heavily uncomfortable townspeople. their friends on the farm will tell you all about how they’re tender, mellifluous and faithful, but others might describe them as capricious or delicate. oh well, no matter how you feel about goody, you can’t deny that they look like they’ve seen some shit.　━━　written by emmy, she-her, twenty-one, aest ! STATISTICS TBA.

so ! her name is paris but most people now know her as goody ( like goody two shoes ) and she’s not particularly fond of the nickname but she’s never said anything against it so most people just don’t know any better

her parents grew up in quebec city and moved to riverdale a few months before goody was born and no one felt good about them bein there bc they just radiated weird vibes and it seemed like they were running from something

when she was five months old, her father killed her mother n then himself. the following day, their bodies were found in fox forest n goody was found ( alive obviously ) in their home. in the months leading up to this, neighbours had been worried that goody’s mother had repeatedly tried to murder or ‘sacrifice’ her since her birth, based on things they saw or overheard or even straight up casual complaints her father made to other townspeople about his wife in everyday conversation, but 95% of the time she appeared sane n very obviously loved her daughter so authorities were like yall are just being dramatic bc this womans a bit weird ! but anyways their neighbours think and spread the idea that goody’s father murdered her mother to protect his daughter, but the suicide was bc he wasn’t willing to live without his wife so rip !

goody grew up in the sisters of quiet mercy institute where she was quite happy bc she had nothing to compare it to n she was treated well enough due to the fact she’s super obedient ... like yikes ...

she left when she was sixteen, n did who the fuck knows what for two yrs ( rotated between playing house with a bunch of mediocre men she thought she was in love with / were in love with her even tho one rarely lasted more than two months and then just sleeping at bus stations whenever she didn’t have a seven day ‘husband’ ) before finally wandering back into town like her whole life has been normal n so is this

instantly got talked into the idea of the farm. it’s not even the fact that she had nothing else and didn’t have options, she’s just a fool who will follow anything she’s told to do if she has no previous instructions waiting for her to complete like she’s living in some sims game n everyone is playing her n she’s thankful for their guidance

#farmloyalist loves the leaders n whatever shit they spew, she mostly absorbs the whole “forgiveness n positivity” idea n yes it’s not always as nice as it sounds

now takes it upon herself to make the trip into town every other day to try and talk people into life on the farm even tho at this point she’s annoyed everyone and no one is interested she’s still like “ hi mrs klump, do u have a minute ? yesterday we had this life changing service on the far- ”

she doesn’t mean to make people uncomfortable she’s really a pretty harmless person but she just either doesn’t know or thinks she’s doing her version of ‘god’s work’ n it’s necessary

naive............dumb............very cute.............

loves babies but in that spooky way where u think she might either steal urs, take a bite out of em, or just dropkick ‘em 50m

loving , affectionate , emotional , intense i guess

has a tendency to like ... snap ... when u least expect it ... like u never know what is going to set her off or when bc it changes with every passing moment but u gotta be pretty unlucky to cop her random tears and screeching

god she’s really a freak but again she THINKS she means well n is mostly nice !! n cute !! it’s just a shame that these weirdo cult leaders got to her before someone semi-decent could tell her how to behave !!

#rvrdl.intro #my intros get messier w age #sorry good luck reading this

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racingtoaredlight · 5 years

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The degenerate’s guide to college football TV watch ‘em ups, 2019 season, week 4

The game of the week screams off the page but there are plenty of actually decent footballs happening on this here beautiful final Saturday of the summer.

Let’s see if I have the mental fortitude to write even a single word for each game, good or not. What the hell does good have to do with degeneracy, anyway?

Times are Eastern, schedule is stolen from FBSchedules and odds are ripped from Vegas Insider.

Saturday, September 21

Matchup Time (ET) TV/Mobile

11 Michigan at 13 Wisconsin 12:00pm FOX

You can throw out the rankings when these teams play because neither one of them has any business being ranked this highly! One of these teams will be basically out of the running for the playoffs by the time this is over. Everybody expects Michigan because Wisconsin hasn’t allowed a point this year and Michigan has mostly sucked so far in both of their games but this is the perfect place for a shitty Wolverines team to start tricking people. Wisconsin is up 110-0 on teams that are made of sawdust. Michigan is at least particle board, if not sterner. Wolverines +3, under 44.5.

Michigan State at Northwestern 12:00pm ABC

With an o/u a hilarious 36.5 I wouldn’t turn to this piece of shit if every single person on twitter were cryptically sending out tweets like “MICHIGAN!” and “nooooooooo” and “asdjseskrjhjsdbf” and “THERE’S STILL A WHOLE QUARTER LEFT!” You aren’t fooling me.

Western Michigan at Syracuse 12:00pm ACCN

What the hell is this ACCN thing, anyway? It’s just an ESPN skin but it’s got like 2% market penetration. At times like noon, September 21st, 2019, we can all be thankful for the unlikelihood of accidentally switching to ACCN while searching for football to gamble on.

ULM at Iowa State 12:00pm FS1

Louisiana-Monroe is a real dark horse contender for the Big XII title.

UConn at Indiana 12:00pm BTN

Webster’s dictionary defines the word “torture” as...

Tennessee at 9 Florida 12:00pm ESPN

I’ve had this weird premonition all week that Florida is totally going to fuck this up. On the one hand, the Gators should score more than 14 on defense. On the other hand, they should give up some points on offense. On the third hand, Tennessee is in a very bad place as a football program. Vols +14, under 49. But don’t put more than $1.50 on any of it.

Southern Miss at 2 Alabama 12:00pm ESPN2

Do people bet a lot on Bama games? Nick Saban seems to willfully undercut gamblers every week. The Tide are easily 39 points better than Southern Miss but they could realistically sit on a 24-0 lead for the entire second half.

Boston College at Rutgers 12:00pm BTN

BC just lost to Kansas by 24 and here they are favored by 8 the next week. Rutgers is probably really that bad but that still seems impossible. 32 points worse than Kansas? NAIA schools aren’t 32 points worse than Kansas.

23 California at Mississippi 12:00pm ESPNU

Don’t look now but 6 Pac teams were ranked in the top 25 this week. Rather, go look now. No way that lasts. Never trust a west coast team heading east for an early kickoff.

Elon at Wake Forest 12:00pm RSN

Wake Forest sucks but nobody sucks more than Elon Musk.

4 LSU at Vanderbilt 12:00pm SECN

Some things you can count on. One of them is LSU’s football team never making a goddamn lick of sense in any context.

Morgan State at Army 12:00pm CBSSN

The Troops have a -49 point line as I write this but apparently every other betting option is off the books? Not sure how that works but it’s probably illegal.

Coastal Carolina at UMass 1:00pm FloSports / NESN

There needs to be better vetting before allowing teams to just move up to FBS status. This is horrible.

Louisiana at Ohio 2:00pm ESPN+

This is a very tiny step up from the 1pm game. Ohio has been a mess so take the Ragin Cajuns on the road +3.

CCSU at Eastern Michigan 3:00pm ESPN3

There is no watchin this one up, either, so find other things to amuse you. Like gambling or day drinking.

Troy at Akron 3:00pm ESPN+

Finally we get that magical intersection of stupid, useless, and entertaining and it’s a goddamn ESPN+ game. For shame. SHAAAAAAME!!!!

Louisville at Florida State 3:30pm ESPN

Did FSU’s big comeback last week wake the ghosts and get Willie Taggert on track in Tallahassee? Probably not. What little I’ve watched of these two has me thinking Louisville is a straight up better team than FSU so my advice would be to take the Cardinals +6.5 but that’s right there on the line. Don’t think twice.

South Alabama at UAB 3:30pm NFLN

The Iron Bowl, Jr.! UAB -11 seems like pretty good value but you CAN THROW OUT THE RECORDS WHEN THESE TWO PLAY! A fun game to play if you watch this one is to see what fanbase is best represented in the crowd: UAB, USA, Bama or Auburn. Roll damn Tide.

Temple at Buffalo 3:30pm ESPNU

This seems like a conference rivalry but it isn’t. That’s all.

15 UCF at Pitt 3:30pm ABC/ESPN2 (RM)

I saw UCF mentioned as a legitimate top 5 team this week so I’m expecting them to lose. If Pitt wears their sweet yellow helmets I especially expect UCF to lose. So load up on UCF -11 because I am a fucking idiot. Book it.

22 Washington at BYU 3:30pm ABC/ESPN2 (RM)

Poor, sweet UDub. What might have been? Probably nothing but what will be is definitely nothing. BYU is sure to follow up their big upset of USC with a belly flop.

Wyoming at Tulsa 3:30pm CBSSN

O/u has moved up to 46.5 but that still seems low to me. Very appropriate CBS SN fare here. This is just good watchin’.

Miami (Ohio) at 6 Ohio State 3:30pm BTN

I don’t want to be a true believer in Chase Young or Justin Fields. I need to stick to my traditional hate Ohio State stance because any time I’ve flirted with liking a player on their team it has ended in heart break.

SMU at 25 TCU 3:30pm FS1

SMU has looked better than a dead fish so far this year. I’m kind of intrigued in this game as entertainment. I don’t want to pin expectations on it but I might hang around for a quarter or so.

Bowling Green at Kent State 3:30pm ESPN3

Here comes the MAC to ruin my good mood.

Appalachian State at North Carolina 3:30pm RSN

And here’s Mack to ruin my good mood even more.

8 Auburn at 17 Texas A&M 3:30pm CBS

Just the words Auburn and Texas A&M next to each other promises a level of psychosis that will be tough to live up to. I hope you’ve got a defibrillator nearby if you take it upon yourself to place bets on this game.

Kentucky at Mississippi State 4:00pm SECN

I think this is the entertaining side of S!E!C!

South Carolina at Missouri 4:00pm SECN Alt.

And this is dark, depressing, unwatchable side of S!E!C!

Central Michigan at Miami (FL) 4:00pm ACCN

Once upon a time there was a small, slow, relatively unathletic wide receiver from Miami who went to Central Michigan and became a huge star, one of the best in the NFL, a Madden cover boy, probably a serial rapist who is now unemployable even though he’s still one of the best football players on the planet. Where am I going with this? Oh, yeah, don’t move to Pittsburgh.

West Virginia at Kansas 4:30pm ESPN+

What if Kansas wins again? Does Les Miles sign a fully guaranteed 25-year extension and then immediately retire?

New Mexico State at New Mexico 4:30pm ATTSN

That’s some rivalry game you’ve got there. Would be a shame if it happened at the end of the season instead of the middle of September. What the fuck is this game doing on September 20th? What are these two teams planning that’s so important at the end of November?

William & Mary at East Carolina 6:00pm ESPN3

Has William & Mary always used “Tribe” for their team monikers? I definitely should have noticed that before now. That’s really kind of gross and weird. Anyway, I don’t see any betting info for this game but if you’re looking for a FCS -over-FBS upset for this week, this is the one for you.

Hampton at Liberty 6:00pm ESPN+

Liberty’s football team only went to FBS because Jerry Falwell, Jr. made a promise to a young man in a locker room and the younger Falwell is a man of his word when it comes to young men in locker rooms. Allegedly.

Wagner at Florida Atlantic 6:00pm ESPN+

Wagner “Seahawks” is a missed opportunity so obvious I don’t think it needs to be spelled out. Prove me wrong.

Ball State at NC State 7:00pm ESPNU

I always think of Marvin Gaye when I see Ball State. And for the last couple of years every time I think of Marvin Gaye I think about rumors that he was a serial killer. I don’t believe every rumor I hear about rich and/or famous people but I do believe most of them. NC State -19.5 is a pretty solid bet if I get to use your money for it.

16 Oregon at Stanford 7:00pm ESPN

I don’t want to sell myself as some kind of Pac-12 expert but I absolutely expect Stanford to win this game by 30 because it is exactly the kind of thing that happens in Pac-12 football.

Baylor at Rice 7:00pm CBSSN

Baylor out here sullying the good name of CBS Sports. It’s like finding out Matt Groening was a passenger on the Lolita Express.

Old Dominion at 21 Virginia 7:00pm ESPN2

I know it’s ODU but Virginia winning by 27 seems like a dodgy concept against literally any team in the country. UVA has a decent shot at going 12-0 and losing the ACCCG by 100.

Southern Illinois at Arkansas State 7:00pm ESPN3

If you asked me once a week every week for the next 52 weeks if Southern Illinois is a D-1A school or not I would be wrong more often than not. It turns out they aren’t in the MAC at all.

Georgia State at Texas State 7:00pm ESPN+

Get rid of FCS and make a real college football playoffs, you cowards! Isn’t a game like this between two FBS level programs mockery enough? How much more degradation can the product withstand before you have to give up the ruse and pay the players?

Charlotte at 1 Clemson 7:30pm ACCN

Charlotte’s odds of winning the Coastal are as good as anybody’s.

UTSA at North Texas 7:30pm Facebook

utsa-unt utsa-unt utsa-unt. There! Now you’re beatboxing!

San Jose State at Arkansas 7:30pm SECN

Bad west coast team going east to play a bad SEC team in the evening. Hmm. Not sure the rules here.

Oklahoma State at 12 Texas 7:30pm ABC

Chuba Hubbard is gonna get his Heisman moment tonight. I can feel it.

Nevada at UTEP 8:00pm ESPN3

The dark heart of football degeneracy is still beating. MWC and CUSA linking back up for a game only the most stupid among us can love. And I am as stupid as they come.

Nebraska at Illinois 8:00pm BTN

I told you ranking Nebraska was a mistake. I don’t think I needed to but it’s still worth noting that I did.

7 Notre Dame at 3 Georgia 8:00pm CBS

This is only the third all time meeting between Notre Dame and UGA. The line for this one is up to 14.5 but both previous meetings were decided by one score or less. That’s not necessarily relevant to this matchup but Georgia -14.5 still seems crazy to me even though I hope they win by 58.

Colorado at 24 Arizona State 10:00pm Pac-12N

The first rule of Pac-12 after dark is betting on a Pac-12 after dark game is a terrible idea. That’s probably the only rule.

Sacramento State at Fresno State 10:00pm Facebook

A game that belongs on facebook. Maybe only on facebook. Why waste money on upkeep for stands and press boxes?

Toledo at Colorado State 10:15pm ESPN2

I will for sure be torn away from the TV but this late run of weird matchups in style and uniforms is exactly what I love about college football and it will just keep getting better the deeper we get into the night.

Utah State at San Diego State 10:30pm CBSSN

This is my entire brand explicated. A potential first round QB playing against San Diego State until 2am east coast time on CBS Sports? Be still my heart.

UCLA at 19 Washington State 10:30pm ESPN

And the marquee late game is Mike Leach and Chip Kelly in a seemingly very lopsided matchup. Run it up, you stupid boomer pirate.

Central Arkansas at Hawaii 11:59pm Spectrum / Facebook

A great night of degenerate football only truly ends with a Hawaii home game. On facebook? Sure. Facebook should make one of those stupid little handheld black & white TVs that only receives facebook sports broadcasts. I would probably buy one just to watch Hawaii on the smallest screen possible.

#saturday post #tv #watch em ups #college football #football #degenerate football #gambling

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