#ellie williamson

[lvnleah]

Infertility.

this is a heavy one so please be aware when reading!

find the series masterlist here!

March 2031 | 7 & 3 years old

You sat in the car, watching Finley race toward the school doors, his backpack bouncing with each step. He waved over his shoulder, a wide grin on his face, and your heart ached with love and the smallest hint of envy. Children were so blissfully unaware of the heaviness life could bring.

Ellie sat in the backseat, humming softly to herself, her small hands playing with the straps of her car seat. You looked at her and managed a smile, but your thoughts were elsewhere.

The last year had felt like a blur. You’d been trying for baby three for over a year now. Three rounds of IVF, each one chipping away at the optimism you’d once held so tightly. 

The first had been the hardest, ending in a miscarriage that shattered you and Leah. Watching her go through it had torn you apart. Leah, who had always been so strong, so calm, had crumbled under the weight of that loss. She was fragile now in ways you hadn’t seen before. You’d tried to be the strong one, the one who held everything together, but even you had your breaking points.

You remembered that first ultrasound, the moment the doctor had shown you the tiny flicker of a heartbeat on the screen. The sound of it brought tears to your eyes. It felt like the beginning of something beautiful—a new chapter in your lives, the expansion of your family. 

But then, things started to change.

You could still recall the exact moment it all fell apart. Leah had been about six weeks along when she started spotting. At first, the doctor had reassured you that it could be normal, but deep down, you both knew. Leah had felt it before the words were spoken, and so had you.

That night was etched into your memory in painful detail. You were sitting on the couch, trying to distract yourselves with some mindless show, pretending everything was fine. But Leah had suddenly gone quiet, her hand pressing to her stomach, her face pale. You had looked at her, your heart dropping into your stomach as she quietly said, "I think something’s wrong."

The panic that gripped you at that moment was something you would never forget. You’d driven to the hospital in silence, the tension in the air suffocating. Leah had clutched your hand the entire time, her grip so tight it hurt, but you hadn’t said a word. There was nothing you could say. Nothing that would make any of it better.

The hospital room had been cold, and sterile. The ultrasound machine had beeped softly, and the nurse had been kind, but her face had given it away before she even spoke. There was no heartbeat. The little flicker that had once brought you so much joy was gone. The silence of that room had been deafening.

You could still hear Leah’s sobs echoing in your mind. She had broken down in your arms, her body trembling with the weight of the loss. You had held her as tightly as you could, your own heart breaking as you whispered that it wasn’t her fault, that she hadn’t done anything wrong. But deep down, you knew the words wouldn’t help. Nothing could help.

The days that followed had been a blur of pain and numbness. Leah had retreated into herself, her usual joy replaced with a sadness you couldn’t reach. She’d spent hours in bed, barely speaking, barely eating. You’d tried to stay strong for her, to hold everything together for Finley and Ellie, but there had been moments where you’d had to hide in the bathroom just to let yourself cry.

Watching her go through it had torn you apart. Leah, who had always been so strong, so hopeful, had crumbled under the weight of that loss. And you? You had tried to be the strong one, but even you had your breaking points. There had been nights when you lay awake beside her, staring at the ceiling, wondering if you’d ever feel whole again. 

The miscarriage had changed everything. It had shifted something fundamental between you and Leah. Where there had once been easy affection and laughter, there was now an undercurrent of grief and fear. Every conversation felt heavy, every glance filled with unspoken sadness. You both wanted so desperately to move forward, but it was like the loss had created an invisible wall between you, a barrier neither of you knew how to break through.

A few months later, you had IVF again but that was an unsuccessful transfer. That had broken Leah too, she was convinced it worked. You had another break before trying again only for it to turn out the same way as before. 

Sometimes you wondered if you were supposed to have another baby.

Sometimes you wondered if your family was supposed to be just you, Leah, Finley and Dllie. 

The sound of Ellie’s laughter snapped you back to the present. You turned to look at her, her little face lit up as she watched her show. She was so full of life, so unaware of the weight you carried. You wished, just for a moment, that you could be as carefree as she was. That you could let go of the grief and fear that clung to you like a shadow.

But as much as you tried, you couldn’t shake the memory of that night in the hospital. You couldn’t forget the way Leah had looked at you, her eyes filled with such raw pain, asking you for something you couldn’t give—a reason, an explanation for why this had happened to you.

And now, as you sat in the car, on the cusp of finding out whether this latest round of IVF had worked, you couldn’t help but feel that same fear creeping in again. What if it didn’t work? What if you lost this baby too? Could you and Leah survive it?

This was your last chance. The final transfer. The thought had been on repeat in your mind ever since the embryo was placed inside Leah two weeks ago. You’d told yourselves that this would be it—one way or another, this was your last try. If it didn’t work, you’d be done. No more treatments. No more tests. No more hopes shattered by stark white lines on a pregnancy test. 

But could you really be done? Could you live with that? You weren’t sure. 

The two-week wait had been torture. Every passing day felt like an eternity, every symptom or lack of symptom throwing you into a pit of overanalysis. Was Leah tired because she was pregnant? Was she nauseous, or was it just nerves? You tried not to let it consume you, but it was impossible. The weight of not knowing was crushing. Leah had refused to take a test early, terrified of another disappointment, and though you understood, it only made the waiting worse.

You pulled into the driveway, unbuckling Ellie from her seat. She scrambled out, clutching her stuffed bunny to her chest, and you followed her inside, your mind still preoccupied. Leah hadn’t come downstairs for breakfast, and that gnawing feeling in your gut told you something was wrong.

"Mummy’s going to check on Mumma quickly," you told Ellie softly, setting her up on the couch with a show. She didn’t question it, used to the unspoken tension that had become part of your household over the past year. 

You climbed the stairs slowly, your heart pounding as you neared the bedroom. When you reached the door, you paused, hearing a faint noise from the bathroom. A knot of dread tightened in your stomach as you opened the door just a crack.

There was Leah, hunched over the toilet, her face pale, her body trembling.

"Le?" Your voice was barely a whisper as you knelt beside her, rubbing a gentle hand on her back. She didn’t respond right away, just leaned back against the wall, wiping her mouth with a trembling hand.

“I don’t know what’s wrong,” she murmured, her voice small and fragile. "I feel awful, but I’m scared. I can’t take the test yet. What if it’s negative again?"

"I know you’re scared, I’m scared too, Le," you said, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. "It wouldn’t harm though would it?”

Leah’s eyes, wide with anxiety, searched yours. You could see the war going on inside her—the part of her that desperately wanted to believe it was possible, and the part of her that was too terrified to hope. 

“I can’t… I don’t know if I can handle another disappointment,” she whispered, her voice shaking. "If it’s negative, I don’t know what I’ll do. I want this baby so badly, pretty girl.”

Your heart clenched. You hated that this process had broken her down like this, turning her into someone so fearful, so full of doubt. You took a deep breath, trying to keep the trembling out of your voice. "Le, we need to know. No matter what, we’ll get through it together, but we can’t keep waiting like this. Let’s just… let’s just do it. Get it out of the way.”

Leah hesitated, biting her lip as tears welled up in her eyes. You held her gaze, willing her to see that you were right here with her, that you’d be there no matter what the outcome was.

Finally, she nodded, her body shaking as she stood up. “Okay,” she whispered, her voice so quiet it almost broke your heart.

The pregnancy tests were still on the bathroom counter, untouched from the previous round of IVF. Leah reached for one, her hands trembling, and disappeared into the bathroom. You stood there, your stomach a mess of nerves, your thoughts racing. What if it was negative? What if this was the end? You tried to prepare yourself for it, tried to shield your heart, but it was impossible.

You sat on the edge of the bathtub, staring at the door, counting the minutes. Each second felt like a lifetime. You heard Leah moving behind the door but couldn’t bring yourself to ask if it was done yet. Fear had settled in your chest.

Finally, the door creaked open. Leah stepped out, her eyes wide, the test clutched tightly in her hand. 

You stood, your heart pounding so loudly you were sure she could hear it. "Well?" you whispered, your voice barely audible. 

Leah looked down at the test, her hand shaking. For a moment, you thought she might not say anything at all. Then, finally, she met your eyes. 

"It’s positive," she whispered, her voice trembling with disbelief. 

You blinked, unable to process the words. Positive. Positive? You stared at her, at the test in her hand, as if you needed to see it for yourself to believe it. 

"It’s positive," Leah repeated, this time her voice breaking, and you saw the tears spill over, cascading down her cheeks.

For a moment, you were both frozen, the reality of it not quite sinking in. After everything—after all the heartbreak, the pain, the fear—this was happening. 

You ran over to her side, wrapping your arms around Leah, holding her tightly, feeling her shake in your arms as both of you broke down in tears. "Oh my God," you whispered into her hair, your voice breaking. "It’s happening. Baby number three… it’s really happening."

Leah sobbed into your shoulder, her body trembling as relief, joy, and fear all collided at once. "I didn’t think it would work," she whispered. "I didn’t think we’d ever get here."

"I know," you said, pulling back to look into her tear-filled eyes. "But we did. We’re here. You did it."

There was still fear lingering in both of you—fear that something could go wrong, fear that this might not last. But for now, just for this moment, you let yourselves feel the joy, the hope that maybe, just maybe, this time was different. 

Baby number three was on the way.

“I’m so proud of you,” you whispered, placing a long kiss on her lips, “Baby number three is on the way…”

Leah leaned into the kiss, her breath still shaky but full of relief. “I can’t believe it,” she whispered, pulling back slightly. "After everything... I didn’t think it was possible."

You brushed away her tears, feeling your own welling up again. “I know. But it is. We’re really going to have another bubba.”

For a long moment, you stood there together, wrapped in each other’s arms, the weight of the past year beginning to lift ever so slightly. There was still so much ahead of you, so many unknowns, but in that moment, you let yourself believe that this time, things might be okay.

A soft knock on the door interrupted the moment, and you heard Ellie’s voice from the other side. “Mummy? Mumma? I come in?”

Leah wiped her eyes quickly, sharing a knowing look with you. “Yeah, bubba, come in.”

Ellie pushed open the door, her stuffed bunny in tow, looking up at you both with wide, curious eyes. “Why are ‘ou crying?”

Leah crouched down, smiling through her tears as she opened her arms to your daughter. “They’re happy tears, baby girl. Mumma’s just really, really happy right now.”

Ellie scrunched her nose, clearly not understanding but accepting it anyway as she wrapped her little arms around Leah’s neck. “Okay, Mumma.”

Leah held her close, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you saw a glimmer of the old Leah—the one who smiled easily, who loved with all her heart. The joy in her eyes, however fragile, was a sight you had missed more than you could put into words.

You weren’t naive; you knew there were still hurdles to overcome, and the journey was far from over. But for now, in this moment, you allowed yourself to believe that maybe, just maybe, things were finally starting to fall into place.

[pixiesfz]

bestfriends sister j.f x r

plot: After one huge Chelsea win Sam's sister doesn't wake up in her room, months later she does the same thing, but she doesn't know if she want's that to be a daily occurrence.

warning: mentions of smut, alcohol, drinking, reader is Sam Kerr's younger sister. Time line doesn't add up but live the fantasy this is LONG

You jumped up and down next to Kristie when the last seconds played out "Holy fuck!" you screamed, your Aussie accent clear to anybody near you.

"Go Sam!" Kristie called out for her girlfriend as you both clapped, the Australian looked your way, she had happy tears in her eyes and her smile was as big as you've ever seen.

You were quickly allowed to go down to the ground and both of you ran up the tunnel. You were running so quickly that you ran into someone.

"oh my god I am so sorry," A Canadian voice told you as you nodded "No you're fine I wasn't looking" you laughed with blushed cheeks.

You knew Jessie, she was on your sisters team but you weren't sure if she knew you, your socials were private and Sam only posted the family every now and then.

This is the first time you would be physically meeting the team.

"y/n you coming!" Kristie yelled out and you and Jessie looked at her "Go see her!" you yelled out and turned to Jessie "They'll probably be on top of each other and I'll be ignored if we go out there together" you laughed and Jessie looked you up and down "You know Sam?" she asked.

"Yeah she's my sister" you smiled and Jessie looked down embarrassed "I should've known that" she said "now I seem like a bad friend" you laughed.

How could I forget a face like hers, Jessie thought.

"Don't worry I'm on a spontaneous trip and decided to come to London" you shrugged and she smiled. You both turned your heads to more Chelsea players running behind you or calling out to Jessie.

"I should go"

"I should go"

You both spoke at the same time before laughing.

Jessie was very pretty you thought even when all hot and sweaty.

You were about to offer to walk together but your name was screamed so loudly.

It was Sam who saw you at the start of the tunnel. Your sister whom you hadn't seen in about a year "Sam!" you yelled back before running to her and giving her a big hug "Congratulations!" you yelled before she dropped you "We won the super league!" she yelled as if she finally had realized what happened "yes you did" you told her.

She looked like a child who had just gotten a puppy "Are you going to celebrate with us?" she asked and you nodded "fuck it, sure" you told her and she cheered again.

You were interrupted by an excited Millie Bright "Y/N KERR NO WAY!"

You left Sam's house in a rush she had offered for you to stay in her guest room, but you had taken a nap and completely forgot what time you had to be at the event to celebrate Chelsea's win so now here you were quickly gathering your purse and downing a shot of vodka for confidence.

You grabbed an Uber and were dropped off at the bar. All you saw was blue before you saw your sister and Kristie talking at the bar "You really took painting the town blue too seriously didn't you?" you joked before your sister laughed very drunkenly.

You and Kristie looked at each other with your brows shot up "Here maybe give y/n your next shot?" Kristie asked "Give her two she's not a lightweight" Sam said as she gave you two shots which you downed "You Australians" Kristie muttered under her breath before you went off to Millie who you did know.

"Millzy" you sang out as the girl gave you a hug "y/n/n" she laughed "how many shots have you had?" she asked "Three" you counted "how long have you been here?" she asked again, teasing you "like five minutes" you said and you both laughed "Everyones drinking until their livers die" Millie said before you both went off to see others.

Millie wasn't kidding almost every team mate you met were certainly not going to remember you the next day.

"Y/n I didn't know if you would be coming," Jessie said when we reached her "I suppose it could be fun," you said as Millie left to go save a tipsy Lauren James from posting a drunk video on Instagram.

"You wanna go get a drink?" you asked and she nodded and followed you along "how long are you in London for?" she asked "not that long I'm leaving in three days to go back home for my job" you explained as you reached the bar and asked for two drinks

"What's your job?" Jessie asked "I'm a writer but for sports, Sam may have got the muscles for sport but I got the brains" you joked and you both laughed.

When you grabbed the drinks from the bartender you tried to ignore the stare that Jessie had on your body. You wore a black dress that shaped your body.

When you turned to her with a smirk she knew she had been caught "Do you like what you see Jessie?" you said as she blushed "Sorry you just look hot- beautiful!" she cut herself off "I meant to say beautiful" she clarified as you nodded your head and took a sip out of your drink.

"You look pretty hot too" you flirted and Jessie blushed trying not to make eye contact with you.

It was clear from then on that you both found each other attractive and your sister Sam was too drunk to even notice whenever she saw the two of you being touchy.

Kristie did though.

"Are you coming home with us tonight?" she asked you as you went to the toilet, you looked back at Jessie who was buying you two more drinks, and shrugged "I'm not sure" you slurred, your alcohol now taking control over you.

You in fact did not go home with them.

Instead, you were in an apartment with Jessie's fingers entangled in your hair as you made out next to her apartment door, it didn't take long until your mouths were on each other.

Your glances to each other throughout the whole night had you craving for her and apparently you had the same effect on her

You had Jessie pinned to the wall as you both fought for domination of the kiss, Jessie tugged on your hair and you moaned letting her have access to explore your mouth.

She took her hands out of your hair and grabbed your waist and pushed you off of her and grabbed your hand as she lead you somewhere "bedroom" was all she said before you felt her mouth on you again.

When you woke up the next morning your head hurt like crazy but when you went to move you found yourself trapped under a beautiful half naked woman.

Jessie.

Your sisters teammate you realized

She was already awake and looking up at you. "Does your head hurt just as much as mine?" she asked groggily and you smirked "I don't know I don't remember you complaining" you said and Jessie rolled her eyes playfully "So you don't regret last night?" she asked "no" you replied "do you?"

"no" she smiled "but I am scared of your sister," she said before moving up closer to you "She doesn't have to know," you told her as you looked down at her lips "So you're only here for three more days?" she asked also looking at your lips "three more days that I can spend with you" you declared before she put her lips on yours again.

That was one year ago and now you were watching your sister play in the World cup since it was hosted in Australia. You had watched her play Ireland and now Canada. When the teams lined up you smiled at your sister who had the captains arm band strapped around her arm.

You let your eyes scan over to Canada's team which you promised yourself you wouldn't but the curiosity of seeing Jessie again took over you.

You remember those three days in London very well, whether you spent them at Sams or with Jessie. You didn't just sleep with Jessie for 70 hours straight though you wished you could. She took you out to see more of London, though your sister didn't know anything about this.

Then you got the job offer to write about women's football in England which you almost agreed to on the spot, you fell in love with London when you went and when you told your sister she couldn't have been more happier to have family with her in London.

You saw Jessie running drills with her team before the game started and you looked at her with a smile, she was searching the crowd, was she looking for you? You didn't know.

You jumped up and down with your family as Australia scored another goal unfortunately kicking Canada out of the race. Your cheers quickly stopped as you saw Jessie on the field she played amazing, it just wasn't in her teams favor.

You excused yourself and made your way into the tunnels, showing security your ID and pass to go see the players, you usually would only use it to see Sam but you wanted to see if Jessie was okay, you wanted her to know that someone wasn't disappointed at her.

You caught her after an interview, she had tears in her eyes and she was wiping her face. You stepped towards her "Hey" you softly muttered and she turned to you "oh" she said in shock "hey I should've expected to see you here" she said with a small smile "well it was nice to see my country win but you were definitely putting on the pressure" you told her with a smile

"Yeah but the score-" "Score doesn't mean anything" you finished her sentence for her "You played amazing honestly, I've been researching more on soccer and watching some games and you're really good Jess"

The nickname rolled off your tongue "Well it was nice to see you again" Jessie smiled, still wiping off tears from her face but now they were from your compliment "You should probably go celebrate with Sam" she said

"I have all the time in the world to celebrate with Sam, do you want me to wait out the back?" you asked "You need someone to help you know how good you were out there," you told her with a soft smirk which she blushed at "okay" she said and you nodded "see you out there".

When she walked out she still looked defeated but you heald out a pack of Tim Tams that you had bought for the game but didn't eat.

"A piece offering?" she laughed to herself as she grabbed it off you "I know technically being Australian makes me the enemy but I am also the best at making people feel better about themselves.

When she drove you back to her hotel room you both sat at her mini bar kitchen and ate tim tams. "Did you ever tell Sam?" you asked and she crossed her head "I haven't been able to look her straight in the eye without looking like I'm hiding something" she smiled "have you?" she asked "Well you're alive and standing so no"

You didn't need any drinks this time for you two to end up in Jessie's bed, you two were just lying in it with your hands playing with Jessie's strands of hair.

Jessie looked up to you "thankyou" she told you and you smiled at her "Well I'll be seeing you more often so I thought I should be more nice to you" you smiled and she turned her body to yours "what do you mean?" she asked "I'm moving to London for work, writing for the wsl" you smiled "really?"

"yeah do you want me to write well about you even if you play shit" you joked and she moved closer to you "what would I need to do for you to write well about me?" she asked as she stroked your cheek.

"I can be persuaded"

Her lips were on yours shortly after that but it was softer Jessie had your hands in hers as you straddled her lap.

Jessie pulled away "wait" "yeah" you breathed out as your faces were still so close "does this mean I can take you out on a date in London?"

You sat up "You want to take me on a date?" you asked and she nodded "What about Sam?" you asked and Jessie smirked

"Like you said she doesn't have to know"

You reattached your lips to hers and once again in the morning, you woke up in a bed that wasn't yours.

Now a couple months later you and Jessie have kept in contact, you gave her your number after the World Cup. You started living at Sam's until you found a place of your own.

You were grabbing the keys to your work car when Sam came out of her room "where are you going?" she asked

a date with your teammate

no, well specifically your tenth date with her teammate.

"out with a friend I met last time I was here," you said "Well you look like you dressed for a date" she pointed out "Can't a girl have some attention" you joked and Sam rolled her eyes "Not if I don't have approval first" Sam defended and you rolled your eyes

"Last three girlfriends I've had you scared them off"

"That was the test and they didn't pass it"

It grew harder and harder for you and Jessie to tell Sam you were 'dating' because every time you were close to telling her she would grow overprotective and you could imagine Jessie's head on a chopping board with your sister holding a knife ready to chop down.

"Well it's not a date" you told your sister who nodded "Well I'm going out for a team bonding tonight so please don't bring anyone home, you are not allowed to have sex in this house"

"I am four years younger than you I am twenty six" you said and she grabbed her keys "don't care" she sang out as she left the house.

Jessie told you about how she had to lie about getting sick with a 'stomach bug' this morning so she could miss out on team bonding.

So instead you picked her up at her house and drove to a nice restaurant "I love that dress on you" Jessie complimented as she held out a seat for you "and I love when you compliment me" you smiled as she sat down "such a fancy place" you said as you looked around "yeah I uhm thought we could do something a bit formal" she said with a blush "I love it".

It wasn't until the date was over and you and Jessie were walking along the block near the restaurant that you could feel Jessie slow down. You laughed thinking she had tripped but when you turned around she was still "Jess-" "be my girlfriend?"

"what?" you asked at her suddenness "be my girlfriend you practically already are," she said and you smiled and kissed her "of course I'll be your girlfriend," you told her and you kissed her again.

On the way to drop Jessie off you had both decided mentally that you were going to be staying over by the way Jessi gripped your thigh whilst you drove.

You had never kissed Jessie so hard "I do love this dress but I would love it better off" Jessie teased and you rolled your eyes "so cheesy" but you did as she said loving the way Jessie immediately attacked your boobs with her mouth.

You both were cuddling on the bed "That was the best sex I've ever had" you said and Jessie smiled with her head in the crook of your neck "Imagine if we ever get engaged" she laughed "I won't be able to walk for a week" you said "I was that good huh?" Jessie asked with a smirk "Don't flatter yourself" and the doorbell went

"must be food I'll get it"

"I love post sex food" your now girlfriend said as she walked into the bathroom. You picked up one of Jessie's oversized training tops and you put your underwear back on.

You did have a 'I just had sex' look on but it was just the post guy so you didn't really care.

When the knocking continued a voice called out

"Jessie you couldn't eat this food so I'm bringing the food to you-"

When you opened the door you did not expect to see your sister on the other side, both your eyes widened and you saw Sam's eyes travel to your shirt, lack of pants and your hair which looked like a birds nest.

"Sam-"

"YOU'RE A DEAD WOMAN FLEMING!"

[alotofpockets]

Woso Date Night Appreciation

Request a player | @totaly-obsessed

[woso4-life]

Random players appreciation

[pitchsidestories]

Football documentaries to watch after the Women's World Cup ended

Togetherness: Follows the Arsenal Women's team during their rollercoaster season 2022/23 (On the Arsenal homepage, 5 episodes)

One Team. One Dream. This is Chelsea: Shows the Chelsea Women's Team experiences between 2019 and 2021 (DAZN Women's Football Youtube Channel, 6 episodes)

Inside the Pride: shows the England Lionesses journeys during the Euros 2022 (England's Youtube Channel, film)

The game that changed football: Barcelona vs. Real Madrid, the classic match during the UEFA Women's Champions League 2021/22 (DAZN Women's Football Youtube Channel, film)

EQUALS: follows a lot of players from different national teams for example Leah Williamson during the Euros 2022 (DAZN Women's Football Youtube Channel, 6 episodes)

Matildas.The World at Our Feet: Follows the Australian Women's team as they prepare for the 2023 FIFA Women's World Cup in their home country (Disney +, 6 episodes)

Born for this: shows the journey of the German Women's national team before and during their incredible euros journey 2022 (ZDF/Sky, 6 episodes)

Female Football around the world - England: focuses on the development and status quo of english female football. There's a new one about Australia too. (Sky Deutschland Youtube Channel, film)

Alexia. Labor Omnia: Focuses on Barcelona star Alexia Putellas (Sky, 3 episodes)

Alex Scott. The Future of Women's Football: Scott looks at the explosion in popularity of women’s football and asks what the future holds for the game she loves. (The Women's Football Archive Youtube Channel, film)

... to be continued

[ouiouibaguettt]

WOSO masterlist pt1

you can ask a request for those player or the player who are on the two other part of the masterlist

masterlist part 2 - masterlist part 3

danielle van de donk (lyon - netherland)

against the world right? - one shot

ingrid engen (fc barcelona - norway)

not so secret now? - one shot

leah williamson (arsenal - england)

bluey and red - one shot

jana fernandez (fc barcelona - spain)

love beneath the shirt - pt.2

deja vu - one shot

aitana bonmati (fc barcelona - spain)

bienvenido de nuevo - one shot

ellie carpenter (lyon - australia)

yellow - one shot

laura freigang (frankfurt - germany)

sydney lohmann (bayern - germany)

grace clinton (man. united - england)

alessia russo (arsenal - england)

(i take request if you guys want)

[keiraxlucy]

Kei decided to do a photodump and I have zero complaints. Did I expect it? No. Do I love it? Absolutely. And queen Narla content too 🫡🥺

[totaly-obsessed]

Woso Line Up's Appreciation

Request a player | with @alotofpockets

[samkerrworshipper]

togetherness pt.3 | matilda’s x reader

lowkey have come to detest this series chase i started it in first person and i no longer write in that format butttt some of yall want it so i have to supply 🤷‍♀️

warnings/themes: self harm implications, talks of past sexual abuse, lots of trauma, comfort, just general sadness tbh

As we pulled up to our own hotel Sam and Steph were smiling like idiots, joking about something or another. I was lost in thought, thinking about everything that had just happened. My haze was cut short though as my door was opened for me and Sam stood on the outside, waiting for me to hop out. I unclicked my seatbelt hurriedly before climbing out of the car and ducking behind the car to grab my bag quickly. My coping mechanism was to grab my phone out of my pocket and to start to scroll through it as I waited on Sam and Steph to collect their own things. My phone was my social crutch, when I felt awkward it was what I leant to.

“Kiddo, let’s go?”

My head was pulled from my phone as I came to the realisation Sam and Steph had both collected their belongings and were walking towards the front of the hotel, Steph passing her car keys off to the valet. I scurried after the two older women, my behaviour was oddly skittish and I was sure the both of them were picking up on it.

We flashed our ID cards at the front desk before making our way into the team front room where we left our kit bags, just so there was no confusion of them in the rooms. We all individually stowed away our bags, collecting whatever essentials we needed from our bags before leaving them in their spots for the night. I grabbed my drink bottle, my airpods and my ugg boots from my bag before walking over to the food table, it was the table where they left all the snacks that were there to be taken at any time of the day. I picked up a packet of gummy bears instead of a granola bar, Leah wouldn’t have been happy with my switch but I wasn’t eating a granola bar so it was an improvement?

After grabbing the bag of gummy bears, filling up my water bottle and grabbing a bottle of gatorade I followed Steph and Sam towards the elevators, waiting patiently as they clicked the button for our floor. They conversed between the two of them as we went up in the elevator, just general stuff.

“So Y/n/n, we’ll go get Steph’s stuff and we’ll bring it into your room and we’ll move whatever of your stuff is there into my room, okay?”

I nodded at Sam, excepting that this was happening.

As the doors opened I found myself following behind them as they walked towards their room. I followed them into the room as Sam unlocked it with her keycard. The room was similar if not identical to Ellie’s and I’s. Two, matching queen beds, a joining ensuite and two reasonable sized wardrobes. Steph very quickly packed her stuff up, throwing it all into her bags before procuring Sam’s help to move it down the hall. I wordlessly unlocked the door to formerly Ellie and I’s room. When we walked in Ellie was already in there, sitting on her bed, cuddled up in a pile of blankets and sweatshirts. She looked like she’d been crying and I found a part of me feeling bad for her. She was a good person, a person who had been through a lot considering her age.

“Y/n, can we talk?”

I couldn’t find it in me, even with the guilt riding through my body to look at her eyes. I knew that they’d betray me, that I’d no longer be able to be mad at her or annoyed if I was forced to look into those eyes.

“Ellie, how about we try this tomorrow morning? Y/n/n's tired, she’s not feeling too well.”

Steph’s voice was pretty forceful but Ellie found room to rebut.

“I just want to talk to her for fucks sakes, I deserve that at least before my fucking roommate is uprooted.”

I jumped back at Ellie’s harsh tone, finding myself in Sam’s personal space bubble. She didn’t flinch back at my sudden intrusion, instead pushed one of her own arms to my side, steadying me slightly.

“Ellie Maddison, you have already caused yourself enough trouble for one night, I would stop now. I already told you, Y/n/n isn’t feeling up to it. We can try this in the morning, if she wants. We wouldn’t be uprooting her if it wasn’t for you two behaving like three year olds. You both need sleep, not more petty arguing that is going to get us nowhere. Y/n, grab your things, we can talk this all out in the morning, both Sam and I are too tired to put up with any more of it.”

I scurried to collect my bag, I’d never really unpacked so it wasn’t hard. I just grabbed my pillow, bag, phone charger and backpack before scrambling my way out of the room. Sam helped me to haul my big bag down the hallway and into her room.

As soon as we closed the door behind us I could feel a part of me break, the part that broke inside of me every night when I crawled under the covers of my hotel bed or I collapsed on the floor of the ensuite. The vulnerable part of my soul that had never been prepared for this, never prepared for fame or attention. I mean as a kid I’d shied away from it as much as I could, kid Y/n was an insecure, anxious mess who had no idea what she wanted, that part of me was still the same.

“Do you need help unpacking? Steph had housekeeping come in today and clean our sheets so the beds are all clean, I try to keep fairly organised and clean but just a disclaimer that there are some stories about me sleep-talking that I neither deny or confirm.”

“I think I should be fine to put it all away, thank you though.”

Sam smiled at me and nodded, it seemed like there was something else hanging off of the tip of her tongue that she was deciding whether or not to say.

“Okay then, I’m just going to have a quick shower, I do not apologise if I start to sing, it’s a canon event.”

I snorted and nodded Sam’s way as I watched her dip into the ensuite. I set myself the task of firstly, getting changed. I clawed off my layers of matilda gear and very quickly changed into a pair of Qantas pyjamas that we’d gotten on our flight to Sydney, they were fresh and unopened and everything about them seemed comfortable. After I was done getting changed I set myself the task of stowing my bag away on my side of the wardrobe, I didn’t do much more than that, I didn’t really want to unpack right now. So I did a very quick version of my skincare routine and then climbed into my bed. It was comfy, the same as my one in the other room except it just felt different. Once I’d properly situated myself in the pillows I grabbed out my phone and started to scroll on instagram.

It was safe to say that when I was in a bag head space I spiralled a lot.

So when I was in the dumps about a bad game I would often find myself reverting to the hate pages on the internet. The internet is a fucked up place. Some of the things that strangers are willing to put out in the world about a person they don’t know is fucked. It was still a bad habit of mine though to constantly look at those posts.

Leah was always confiscating my phone after bad games, after bad days. She knew me too well, knew how when I got wrapped up in my own head there was nothing to do besides just be there for me. I fiddled anxiously as I flicked through the countless news articles that had been posted. The Australian had a particular hatred for me, had since I was a rookie and since they’d found some photos of me doing drugs back when I was a teenager and published it on the front cover of the Saturday papers. I’d had a particular shared hatred back at them after that. They had a field day every time I had a bad game, I was pretty much the leading lady of page 6. Our game last Saturday had been no different, one wrong kick and I was washed up and cracking under the pressure. The slew of twitter pages and reddit links that I’d been sent after that had been enough to make anyone feel sick to their stomach.

That was why I think I’d gotten roomed with Ellie, she was probably the most hated in the media on the team besides me. I think Sam had thought maybe we’d bond over it but neither of us were vulnerable enough to talk to the other about it. So it had just stewed between the both of us and honestly probably made it worse than it should have been.

“I don’t think I have ever seen a person in such an intense staring competition with their phone.”

I squealed as Sam very stealthily grabbed my phone from my own hands. I immediately sprung up, trying to retrieve it from her hands, I hadn’t had the opportunity to lock it.

“What are you hiding?”

I saw Sam’s interest peak as I fought intensely to grab my phone back. She held it above her head and I might have been taller than her but I couldn’t for the life of me manage to retrieve it from her hands even as I attempted to use her body as a climbing frame. After a few jumps and attempts I gave up, collapsing back into my bed and covering my body and head with the sheets and duvet. The room stayed silent as Sam did the inevitable and looked through my phone screen.

“Y/n.”

Her voice was even and I felt her bodyweight sink down onto the spot at the bottom of my bed. I felt her arms work their way up to the top of the duvet and slowly try to pry them out of my own hands. She succeeded fairly quickly, smiling at me as my face was revealed to the light of our hotel suite.

“There’s that pretty face, no need to be ashamed honey. You ought to not read into what Roger writes, he hates anything to do with women's sports, especially women who are succeeding so heavily at such a young age. You shouldn’t let your mental image of yourself be contorted by words written by a person who doesn’t know you or care about you, don’t do that to yourself, you deserve better.”

I looked at Sam, in all of her glory, sitting above me, an old nike shirt that looked like it had been washed 600 times. Her hair was brushed smoothly back into her classic low pony. It made me cry. Not sobbing crying, just wet, fat tears dripping down my face as I thought about that article. I could probably quote most of the journalist's work, I’d read it over and over and over.

“Come on now, don’t cry, please. You’ve done enough crying for tonight, don’t make me tickle you.”

Sam’s eyebrow rose in challenge as she stared down at me, silently challenging me to keep going. When I did, her hands found their way to my sides and started to tickle me intensely. I immediately let out a choken laugh, trying to suppress my giggles and cries.

“S-Sam stop ittt. S’ not fair.”

She smirked at me as she continued her abuse of my sides.

“Stop crying then, c’mon, there are better things to do with your time then cry over bullshit. I know Williamson would have my head if she knew that I was letting her girl get down in the dumps over something that’s out of your control. I am telling you now, honestly, your whole career there is always going to be someone who is going to try and take you down, journalists, social media, other players. It’s wrong, but we are women in a field that is predominantly presumed to be male dominated, we aren’t appreciated, we’re underpaid and we are slaughtered in the press for anything. The more you feed into it the worse it’s going to get, and I understand that the other stuff isn’t going to just go away but it is going to eventually get better, I promise you that.”

“You promise?”

Sam rolled her eyes and extended her pinky towards me.

“I pinky promise.”

I rolled my eyes at the cliche but interlocked my own pinky finger in hers and shook it. Sam reached down to wipe the tears from my face and smiled at me, a little glint in her eye.

“Now, I think it’s about time we got you tucked in, it’s been a big day for you.”

“I’m not tired.”

Sam rolled her eyes at my immediate defiance and plonked herself down next to me on the bed, resting beside me against the headboard. She lazily placed one of her arms around my shoulder, there was something so simple but complex about the whole situation.

“Do I need to explain to you the importance of getting eight hours?”

“This feels like one of those captain moments where you try and mom me into doing something that’s not going to happen.”

Sam snorted at my reply, nodding her head concedingly.

“Is the defiance just a young people thing or do you just enjoy being a pain in the ass?”

“There’s no fun in it if I agree to everything you tell me to do.”

Sam’s eyes damn near rolled into the back of her head.

“Is it hard using defiance as a defence mechanism constantly?”

The question took me back a little bit, it hadn’t been what I was expecting. She’d turned a pretty mild conversation into something deep so quickly that it took me a few seconds to recover.

“I don’t use defiance as a defence mechanism.”

My voice wavered a little bit, just enough for doubt to seep in.

“Yes you do.”

Sam’s voice was so matter of a fact, like she knew me better than I knew myself.

“No, I don’t.”

“You push everyone out, you don’t listen to anyone who is trying to help you out, you do things that are harmful to yourself without caring, you play with injuries, you put yourself in harms way a little bit to often, you hide your emotions, I could keep listing off if I wanted to.”

I hated how right Sam was, how observant she was, it made me queasy.

“Okay, so I do some of those things, but that doesn’t make it a defence mechanism.”

“What does it make it then? A form of self harm? A form of punishment? I think you’ve punished yourself enough, when does it all become enough, when in the mind of Y/n do you atone for your sins? Because from where I’m looking at it you are leading yourself in the direction of a cliff's edge and you aren't going to stop until you are over that cliff.”

I gulped, unsure of what to say to my skipper, because I couldn’t lie to her, not for the life of me but I also wasn’t going to sit here and listen to her pretty much tell me that I was suicidal or something.

“You don’t know what I’ve done or who I’ve hurt to get here.”

“I know you're a good kid, with a good heart and if Williamson decided to take a shot with you then you have to be worth it. I know you carry baggage, a lot more than you’ll ever tell anyone, some things that you don’t even tell Leah. I have my inferences, I know things are rough with your family, always has been. I know you're hard on yourself, far too hard on yourself considering you are nineteen. I know that you never saw yourself here, never saw yourself as being capable of being here and now that you are you are having an identity crisis because you are secretly terrified that you are never going to be good enough to be here, even though you are. You’re hurting a lot, I know roughly what you're doing to self soothe, it’s not good and I’m worried about you, all of us are.”

I bit down on my lip, staring out at the wall in front of me, unsure of what to say to Sam, because she was right in so many ways but her words were also like a stab in my heart, because until someone is telling you about your behaviours I don’t think it subconsciously sinks in.

“Something to think about, I’m always here kid, if you ever need to talk, or need help, or just someone to keep you company then I’m here, whatever you need.”

“I didn’t ever plan on being a professional football player,” I snorted in between my words, realising I was actually about to go down this path with my captain, a woman who had pioneered womens sport in Australia, “This sounds stupid but all I ever wanted growing up was to own a cattle station, wanted to live the humble life out on the farm. I know that sounds so stupid, because it’s so simple. But I never planned for this, I never wanted this. My parents put me into football and gymnastics when I was six and I was good at them, really good and it was for fun so it was fine. Then it wasn’t for fun and I was playing in national teams and olympic qualifiers. Then I broke my back falling off of a beam and I was happy, I was glad, because it meant that I could do what I wanted. Then I was in the party scene and everything was good, until it wasn’t. Then my parents were shipping me off to the AIS and I didn’t have a say. Next thing I’m here and I’m doing this and I’m grateful, don’t get me wrong. But a part of me never wanted this and I know that’s bad of me to say because there are thousands of girls who would die for my spot but it’s the truth.”

I took a deep breath as I finished up my spew of words, it was a lot, I wasn’t an oversharer, most of it was probably word vomit but there was something about Sam that just made me feel comfortable with being vulnerable, I didn’t know what it was.

“That’s not stupid, having dreams isn’t stupid and it’s okay for you to be upset that you didn’t get what you wanted. You have a gift Y/n, the way that you play on the field is truly exceptional and I am telling you now that if you want to be the best professional footballer, then you can. You could be one of the best players in the game, better than me or any other player on this team, I believe that whole-heartedly. You deserve that, if you want it. If you start to make healthier decisions for yourself, decisions that don’t harm you. When was the last time you ate a proper meal? The last time you took time out of your day to look after yourself? How long until it starts to seriously harm you? Do I need to tell you how dangerous it is for a professional athlete to not be looking after their body, you are important Y/n, and so is your health.”

I fiddled with a loose thread that was protruding from the doona below me. My captain's words were sinking in, deep, like a tattoo. Etching its way into my skin, painfully.

“I am fine, our doctors have had no issues with clearing me, I eat and I do look after myself.”

My justification was weak, it was in my voice and in my mannerism. My statement just wasn’t believable, as much as I was trying to push it.

“So you know how to pass a medical test? I’d expect you too considering you fooled Tony the whole time you were at the AIS that you weren’t using. I’ve heard the story, it just proves to me that you know how to get around testing.”

Fuck. Fuck. It wasn’t surprising Sam knew my history with drugs, I mean anyone who read the papers knew, it wasn’t private information. I was clean now, four years and proud of it. I’d had a bumpy road to recovery but I’d gotten there with time.

“I can look after myself.”

“Doesn’t seem like it.”

“It’s none of your business.”

“See, as soon as anyone tries to care for you, you close up.”

“I don’t close up. I just don’t respond to being interrogated.”

“You aren’t being interrogated.”

“Sure seems like it.”

“That’s a bit overdramatic, all I am trying to do is care for you, something you are adamant on avoiding.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, because I couldn’t deny Sam in what she was saying, I did push people out who tried to care for me. Long ago Leah had accepted there were some parts of me that I was never going to be able to talk to her about, that was why she’d forced me into seeing a therapist.

“I don’t need you to care for me.”

“The scars on your thighs say otherwise.”

I blinked for a few seconds, taking a deep gulp as the words that Sam had just said set in, had she actually gone there? Had she actually just said that.

“That was a low fucking blow.”

Sam was clearly taken aback by her own words, it had clearly just spilled out of her. Sam was no filter, so it had come to me as no surprise that she frequently blurted, just the fact she’d said that though hit me deep.

“I’m not wrong.”

I could feel tears stemming at the back of my eyes, at the realisation that I was about to have this conversation.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Does Leah know?”

“She’s had her queries, she doesn’t push it.”

“She doesn’t push the fact that you cut yourself?”

If her previous words hadn’t hit hard, those ones had, because those words, that assumption, that accusation was so confronting.

“It’s not like that.”

“Explain to me what it’s like then.”

I pushed Sam’s arm off of my shoulder, feeling like I need a more face to face conversation. I pushed myself off of the bed head, so I was sitting between Sam’s two legs, my legs crossed. It was vulnerable for me, just talking to someone about my feelings was vulnerable for me.

“When I was 15, when I gave up the drugs. I was in a lot of pain, I hated myself. It wasn’t easy, I mean I was trying pretty much everything I could to get injured. I got arrested for speeding underage twice, both times Tony had to bail me out. I was just a mess, so I started to hurt myself, to stop myself from seriously injuring myself. It was the only thing that I could do that would make me feel better, the only thing that I could turn to when shit got real. So it became my thing, then I turned pro and I stopped for a while, especially when Leah started to get on my case about it but then we got to training camp and it was all too much so I started again and I know it’s a bad habit and it’s serious but Sam, I wouldn’t be here right now without it.”

“Are you suicidal?”

It was a question I definitely wasn’t prepared for.

“I’ve had suicidal thoughts over the years, I’ve had my fair share of bad moments but no, I’m not suicidal. I don’t do it because I want to die, I do it because it gives me relief, from life, from football, from stress. For me it's an outlet, when life gets hard that’s how I deal with it. It's unhealthy but it’s what works for me and I know that it’s bad but it’s what works.”

Sam nodded at me, there was a certain softness to her words and features the more I spoke to her, the more barriers that I let go. Sam’s own hand found its way to my bicep, silently comforting me and telling me to stop rambling.

“I get it. You do what you have to do to survive, and there is nothing wrong with that. You do what you have to do to get through the day. You’re not broken. This isn’t something to be embarrassed about or guilty for. You are still a child Y/n, in so many ways. The world is hard sometimes, what we do is hard sometimes, we all have needs. You scavenge for anything that helps you to get through because you want to survive, you want to be ok. Then it works, so you continue to survive. Good for you, you figured out how to survive. You don’t need to spend everyday in survival mode anymore though, you have love in your life that prevents the constant need to survive.

The words burnt my soul and I could feel the tears brimming up again. I hated crying.

“You’re living your old life Y/n/n. But it’s done, it’s over. You get to have the good things that you never had, you can meditate, or go on holiday, you can read books, you can learn a new language, you can learn how to live in a way where you don’t have to hurt to handle all of the things that scare you. No shame, just growth, okay. You don’t have to hide in your ensuite at night by yourself, like you taught yourself to do to survive, am I clear?”

Sam’s eyes bored down into my soul, her words were so strong and definite.

“You’re going to call me, or Leah, or your therapist next time you feel like doing it, that’s an order. You are going to call one of us, call me, and I’ll talk to you, I’ll talk to you for however long it takes for you to understand that this,”

Sam’s hand fell down to my thigh, where we both knew the scars laid, underneath my sweats,

“Isn’t the solution, not anymore, we’re leaving it in the past. This isn’t your way to survive anymore, from now on you aren’t going to just survive, we are going to make you live, I promise you that. From here on out you are going to live, and enjoy living. I am going to try my hardest to keep to that promise, but you need to as well. Promise me you are going to try and do more than just survive, because this shit in the press, it sucks, but it’s going to go away and once it does you are going to be lost, you are going to struggle and that fight that you put in everyday to be here, it’s not going to be as present and when that happens, when all of the outside threats are denominated you are going to hit rock bottom, there’s one positive of hitting rock bottom though, there’s only one way up and when you realise that you have the potential to go upwards and you want to, life is going to get better.”

“Y’know I get why Polks and De Vanna recommended you for captain.”

My words were said with tears and snot running down my face, with the realisation that right now, I was being held accountable for my shit and it was a hard realisation. My captain's words had hit home for me with the realisation that there wasn’t room for me to behave like I previously had.

“I try my best, I expect you to do the same. This relationship, this situation, it doesn’t work if you aren’t prepared to put the work in, if you aren’t prepared to hit rock bottom and work upwards from there. When you do hit that bottom, I want you to call me, tell me you’ve had a bad day, or don’t, talk, or listen, whatever you need.”

I nodded at Sam.

“I am going to try.”

She smiled at me and nodded, all encouragement and comfort.

“Okay then, okay. Come here kid,”

Sam opened her arms for me and I collapsed into them, grateful for just the warmth and comfort of Sam’s arms. I understood why all of the girls gravitated to her, why they seeked her out so often. She understood, she didn’t judge, she listened and then she gave advice, good advice, meaningful advice. One of her hands went to my back, gently rubbing across the nooks and valleys along my back. The other hand reached to the nape of my neck, gently twisting and brushing out the hairs that laid at the beginning of my hairline. I lent into her touch, silently finding so much comfort in her actions.

“M’ sorry, sorry that I didn’t come to you earlier.”

“It’s okay kid, I understand, you were scared and you didn’t know who you could talk to about that. What’s important is you know now, you know that I am always here for when you need help and I expect you to come to me from now on, no more hiding and struggling in silence, okay?”

I nodded into Sam’s arms, just silently finding so much peace and solace in being held. I hadn’t been held in months, not since I’d been with Leah and the last few months with Leah had been hard to say the least. She’d done her ACL, and it wasn’t anybody's fault, I hadn’t been prepared for it though. Both Leah and I were going through rough patches and neither of us were prepared to look after another human being besides ourselves. There had been countless nights between the two of us spent crying and fighting with each other. It was rough, we’d worked through it though. It was hard though, and a part of me felt guilty for not being okay, and a part of me felt like Leah was going through so much worse than me and I could never burden her with my stupid problems.

“Now, I think it is definitely time that we get you tucked in and asleep, I won’t take any arguments, you look like you could sleep for days if you needed.”

I just nodded at Sam, any fight, any defiance that had been in my body was gone, I just didn’t have it in me. She was right, I was tired, I’d hardly slept the whole world cup. I was an insomniac, so that was to blame partially, partially I also just didn’t feel safe sleeping. Ellie was always on the phone with her girlfriend, when she wasn’t she was trying to talk to me or do yoga or something. She’d also been slaughtered in the press most of the tournament, it was messing with her, everyone could tell. Her techniques for combatting her anxiety about it though was annoying to say the least, being the younger one in the situation I didn’t have the confidence to tell her that her habits were fucking annoying to say the least.

I didn’t fight back as Sam gently laid me down on my bed, pulling the covers up over my body and very gently tucking me in.

“Have a good sleep, kid.”

She smiled at me and I smiled back.

“You too cap, thank you, I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”

Sam patted me on the head, giving me her signature smirk.

“It’s no trouble, now get some sleep yeah, I need you to be coherent for tomorrow.”

I nodded along with Sam’s statement, watching as she got up off of my bed and walked towards the light switch, turning it off before jumping into her own bed. She rustled around in her sheets for a few minutes before finding her spot, a few minutes after the rustling ended I heard her breath slow and even out, indicating that she’d fallen asleep.

The situation was not the same for me, it took me a few hours to fall asleep and once I did I only slept for two hours, it was fitful sleep, very light and not very good. I laid in bed for a while before deciding around 5 that I was going to go for a run. I got up as quietly as I could, throwing on a pair of shorts and a sports bra. Once I’d gotten dressed I picked out my pair of running sneakers before creeping my way out of the hotel room and trying my very hardest to keep my steps silent as I walked down the hallway and into the elevators that took me down to the lobby. Our hotel was about 200 metres from the beach, so I made the decision I would take my morning run along the beach.

It was still dark out as I made my way out onto the main road and started my jog down to the water's edge. The sun probably wouldn’t rise before I came home. I planned to do about ten km, the beach was around 4 or so long so If I ran up and then down I would probably do about that. As soon as I got down to the waters edge I started to run properly.

Running had been one of my releases since I was 12. Whenever I was angry I went for a run, when I ran everything stopped. It was just me and the music that I had running through my headphones. It felt the same as I set my pace along the sand, like all of the fucking mayhem from the past twenty four hours was just mellowing out, becoming background noise. If I could always be running I would. The only time I ever felt like I was myself was when I was running. The feeling of your heart pounding against your chest, the feeling of your breath hurting in your throat and the dryness in your throat. As I ran the sun slowly started to rise, slowly climbing along the horizon. I made it about three quarters of the way before I ran into someone, one of the last people I wanted to be seeing.

For a second I wasn’t quite sure who it was, they were the only other person on the beach, standing along the shoreline. As I sprinted my way back to my starting spot the body slowly started to become bigger and the fear in my gut slowly grew. I couldn’t make out much more than their body, with the lack of lighting present in the room. As I slowly approached though, more features slowly started to become more recognisable and I silently screamed internally as I realised who exactly was.

As I approached them I slowed my pace, down to a slow jog, almost a walk. I slowly approached them and internally froze as they turned to face me. Fuck.

“It’s a nice morning.”

Lucy’s face was stone serious, and her words didn’t reflect the general attitude that she seemed to hold.

“So you're enjoying the motherland, then, the sunrises are unbeatable.”

“I’d be enjoying it more if I hadn’t been pulled out of my bed at 5am this morning to come and find you because Kerr texted Leah saying you’d disappeared and she didn’t know where to.”

“I’m allowed to go on a run.”

“You didn’t leave a note, after having what I’ve perceived as a fairly rough twenty four hours.”

“I don’t need the lecture.”

“La Reina wouldn’t have a bar of this attitude.”

“Alexia isn’t here.”

“It could be arranged, if I deem you in need of some attitude adjustment.”

I braced myself in front of Lucy, she was a scary woman. When I’d started in the WSL I’d originally been selected by Barcelona, then after half a season I’d been traded to Arsenal. I’d liked it at Barca, if I hadn't been traded I probably would have still been there, Barca was good, when I’d gotten there I had been a basket case, it had been what I’d needed. I was 17 at the time, and had no idea what I’d wanted, Barca had taught me how to wake up every morning and do something with life.

Lucy opened her arms up to me and I let myself fall into them, letting the older woman embrace me. Her arms were strong and they hugged me to her tightly, comfortingly, in the way that a mother would embrace their child. That was what Barca had given me, a good relationship with people that were like substitutes for my mom.

“It’s good to see you, Luce.”

“It’s good to see you as well kid, although I would have preferred it to be under different circumstances.”

She released me from her arms and sat herself down on the sand, nodding at me to sit down next to her. I followed suit, so we were both sitting on the sand, looking out at the sunrise.

“You’ve been doing it again.”

“I don’t know what you're talking about.”

“I don’t want to tell Ale that you’re lying to me as well.”

I crossed my arms across my chest in frustration, grumbling at Lucy.

“She’s not even my captain anymore.”

“She’s still the woman who took you under her wing, she’s your blood, mija.”

I pursed my lips and looked out at the horizon, the sun was truly rising now, the bright pink and oranges mixing into a tie dye across the sky.

“How’d you know I was going to be down here.”

“Just a hunch, I know how much you like your runs.”

“I wasn’t running away or anything, I just needed to think.”

One of Lucy’s arms fell over my shoulders, it was heavy but so soft at the same time.

“I know mi amor, you should have told someone where you were going though, especially considering the events of the last few hours, you worried a lot of people.”

“Leah told you?”

“She told me she was worried about you, that you had a lot on your plate right now, more than a 19 year old should be handling.”

I pursed my lips again, Lucy’s words were so pensive, so calculated but present at the same time. It was bizarre.

“I, just, this world cup, it was supposed to be the defining moment in my career, when I proved to everyone that I was as good, if not better than everyone else they were comparing me too. But I haven’t been performing, the press hates me, I just can’t catch a break.”

“Sounds like you need a sabbatical.”

I snorted a little bit at Lucy’s words.

“I’m serious, you know, after this, you should take some weeks off. Leah needs it as well, go somewhere, wherever your heart feels like you need to be and just live, or learn to live. Turn your phone off, eat as much as you want, exercise as little or as much as you want, just let yourself be happy, without everyone else, without football, without social media and other people. Learn to love yourself.”

I’d been handed so much emotional advice over the last few hours, it was a lot to absorb, a lot to think about.

“I miss La Reina, I miss Barca.”

“I know mi amor, but you have to be here, you have to be in London. It’s what you are destined to be doing, Ale and us all miss you but you are doing such good things where you are.”

“Your taking me back to the hotel, aren’t you?”

Lucy nodded at me sadly and I took one final deep breath before lifting myself off the sand and dusting any remnants of it off of my clothing. I helped Lucy up and then we both started to walk towards the beach exit.

“I’ll be there to watch you tomorrow, Kei, Leah and I. Play for us yeah? Make us proud.”

The walk back to the hotel was rather sullen, both Lucy and I staying fairly silent, her guiding me to the doors with a hand secured on my lower back. When we got to the door I gave her a hug before parting ways and stepping into the lobby. The team room was a little bit more alive then it had been when I’d walked through earlier in the morning. Kat, Harper, Charli and Ky were all awake, having breakfast together, as well as a few of the other veterans. I made my way through the lobby as quickly as I could, I couldn’t be bothered with talking to anyone.

When I did get back to my room, I was very surprised to find Sam, Steph, Haley and Alanna waiting for me. I was the first person to speak, slipping off my shoes next to the door and breaking the tension.

“Isn’t it a bit early for a mothers group meeting?”

[dinas-a-bird]

For the Love of the Game

Pairing: soccer!Ellie Williams x soccer!fem!reader

Warnings: SFW, angst with a happy/hopeful ending, mean ellie and reader, Arsenal woso au, rivalry, hostility, first kiss, cursing, use of y/n

Summary: As a new sign on the Arsenal squad you seem to click with everyone, except the defender Ellie Williams. or i couldnt find what I wanted to read so I wrote it instead

Word Count: 4,005

A/N: this is my longest piece of writing yet and also probably my favorite. I kept the soccer terms to a minimum because I know they are difficult to understand if you've never played the sport. I've been meaning to write a woso au fic for quite some time mainly because i'm a huge fan of soccer and have played it my entire life, so i'm supper happy I finally got around to this. Sorry in advance for any spelling or grammar mistakes. Hope you enjoy!

quick sidebar: I am so upset about Australia not making it to the WWC finals.

Pt 2: here

You sat in the locker room, lacing up your cleats, your mind racing with anticipation for the upcoming training session. Soccer was your passion, your lifeblood, and being a new sign on the Arsenal team was both a dream come true and a challenge you welcomed with open arms. The energy in the room was a mix of excitement and seriousness, as your new teammates chatted and laughed, sharing stories and trading banter.

Katie, a fellow teammate, leaned over with a playful grin. "You ready to kick some ass on the field today, y/n?"

You grinned back, your eyes shining with determination. "You know it, McCabe. Ready to show 'em what I'm made of."

As the training session began, you threw yourself into the drills, your love for the game evident in every sprint, every pass, every shot on goal. It was a fierce battle, each player giving her all, striving for excellence. Amid the sweat and shouts, there was a particular presence that caught your attention—Ellie Williams. The enigmatic American player was a force to be reckoned with, known for her skill and her no-nonsense attitude. Your interactions had always been colored with a hint of hostility and rivalry, Williams sharp wit and biting remarks keeping you on your toes.

"Nice touch, y/n!" Leah Williamson’s encouragement broke through your concentration, and she sent a quick nod and smile in your direction.

After the grueling training session, you followed the team into the locker room. The energy had shifted, the air filled with exhaustion and accomplishment. You were quick to shed your gear, peeling off your sweaty kit, replacing it with a band tee and ripped jeans. As you looked around, you caught Williams' gaze���surprisingly not one of antagonism, but something different, harder to define.

"Like what you see, Williams?" Your playful remark caught Ellie off guard, and a smirk tugged at the corner of your lips as you moved toward your locker. You could practically feel Ellie's eyes on you as you changed, a mixture of curiosity and something else you couldn't quite place apparent on her face.

The banter continued as you and your teammates made plans for drinks later that evening. The idea of spending time together outside of the pitch was new, a tentative step toward forming friendships beyond the pitch. The mention of Williams' not wanting to go to yet another team bonding session didn't escape your notice, a reminder of your ongoing rivalry and tension.

As the evening approached, you found yourself in a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. The exchange with Ellie in the locker room had been different, a crack in the armor she had always presented. But you were cautious, unsure of what it all meant. Your heart raced as you stood in front of the mirror, getting ready for the night ahead. You chose an outfit that felt comfortable yet confident—black trousers and a light pink button-up, French-tucked for a touch of casual elegance.

Your phone chimed, and you picked it up to see a text from Leah. "I'm outside ready to bring you to team drinks dummy." You chuckled, sending a quick response that you were on your way. Soon enough, you found yourself in Leah's car, driving towards the nearby pub where the team was gathering for drinks and bonding.

The pub was alive with the chatter and laughter of your teammates as you entered. You greeted the girls and grabbed a drink before sitting down next to Leah, who gave you a knowing look. "You think Ellie’s actually going to come?" Leah whispered, her eyes glancing over to the entrance.

"Dunno, don't really care to be honest," You replied with a shrug. "She's been a right twat for as long as she's known me."

Leah hummed in acknowledgment, and the two of you settled into the lively atmosphere. Your eyes wandered over the group, spotting Ellie’s absence. You couldn't help but wonder if the tension between you had kept her away.

After a while, your impatience grew, and you checked your watch. "Damn, she really didn't want to come," you muttered under your breath, feeling a mix of annoyance and disappointment. You leaned back in your seat, your mind lost in your thoughts.

Leah noticed your mood shift and rubbed your shoulder gently. "What's wrong, y/n/n?"

You sighed, a hint of frustration in your voice. "Nothing, just thought maybe she'd actually show up for once."

As the minutes ticked by, your frustration turned into resignation. You finished your drink and decided to get another one. "I'm going to get another drink," you announced to the group, receiving nods of acknowledgment before making your way to the bar.

"One whiskey, on the rocks, please," you ordered, your tone weary. You leaned against the bar, waiting for your drink and watching the team engage in playful conversations. Your mind drifted, thinking about the complicated relationship you had with Ellie Williamson.

The bartender quickly served your drink, and you took a slow sip, the cool liquid offering a momentary distraction from your thoughts. You couldn't help but wonder why Ellie’s presence or in this case lack thereof, affected you so much.

As you continued to observe the team, your phone buzzed in your pocket. You pulled it out to see a text from Leah, asking if you were okay. You smiled faintly and texted back, "Yeah, just needed a breather. Don't worry, I'm good."

With your drink in hand, you found an empty stool at the bar and settled in. You watched as the team's laughter filled the pub. You took another sip of your drink, feeling a mix of emotions bubbling within you.

Lost in your thoughts, you didn't notice when someone sat down next to you until you heard a familiar voice. "Whatcha doing over here, mate?" Caitlin Foord's voice broke through your reverie.

You looked up, a surprised smile forming on your lips. "Hey, just needed another drink, that's all."

Caitlin chuckled, giving you a friendly pat on the shoulder. "Well, the teams missing you, might wanna head back over soon."

You couldn't help but appreciate Caitlin's attempt at lightening the mood. You finished your drink and thanked the bartender, making your way back to the group. As you approached, Katie McCabe greeted you with a big smile. "Look who finally decided to rejoin us!"

Your lips twitched into a smile as you took a seat among your teammates. The atmosphere was surprisingly relaxed, and you found yourself easing into the conversation. You exchanged playful banter with the girls, your guard slowly lowering as the evening progressed.

Ellie’s absence was no longer a looming presence in your mind. Instead, you found yourself immersed in laughter and conversation with the team. It was as if, for a brief moment, the rivalry and tension between you and Williams never existed.

As the night wore on, you glanced at your watch, realizing it was getting late. You excused yourself from the group, giving everyone hugs and promising to see them soon. 

Outside the pub, you hailed a taxi with more success than the previous nights. You settled into the back seat, feeling contentment wash over you. The evening had been unexpectedly enjoyable, a welcome break from the usual tension.

When you arrived home, you thanked the driver and made your way to your apartment. You kicked off your shoes and flopped onto the couch, a small smile playing on your lips.

The events of the evening continued to replay in your mind as you lay on the couch. The unexpected sense of belonging with your teammates had provided a refreshing change from the usual tension with Ellie Williams. 

As the days passed, your thoughts kept drifting back to that night at the pub. You found yourself analyzing every interaction, every word spoken between you and your teammates, including the moments when Ellie’s absence was conspicuous.

Training sessions were business as usual, the banter and drills had become familiar over time. You couldn't deny that a part of you was secretly hoping for another chance to interact one-on-one with Ellie, even if it meant more of your usual back-and-forth.

One evening, after a rigorous training session, you were walking to your car when you noticed Ellie leaning against it. You tensed involuntarily, your heart rate increasing as your palms grew slightly clammy. "What do you want, Williams?" You asked, your voice laced with a mixture of defiance and caution.

Ellie straightened up and crossed her arms, her expression guarded. "Just making sure you're not slacking off on your game, y/l/n," she retorted, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

You raised an eyebrow, annoyance and amusement flickering in your eyes. "Trust me, you're not the one I need to prove anything to."

Ellie’s gaze held yours for a moment before she seemed to relent, her posture relaxing slightly. "Yeah, well, don't get too comfortable. I'm not here to make friends."

You let out a rueful chuckle. "Trust me, the feeling's mutual."

As the weeks went by, you and Ellie continued your dance of hostility, your interactions marked by barbed remarks and wary glances.

One afternoon, after a particularly grueling practice, You found yourself sitting alone in the locker room, lost in thought. You were startled when the door opened, and Ellie walked in, looking uncharacteristically solemn.

"What do you want, Williams?" You said, your tone a mixture of annoyance and curiosity.

Ellie hesitated for a moment before speaking, her voice lacking its usual bite. "Look, I may not like you, but I respect your dedication to the game. You're a damn good player, and you've earned your place on this team."

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise. It wasn't the response you had expected. "Thanks, I guess."

Ellie’s gaze held yours, her usually confident demeanor replaced by a vulnerability that caught you off guard. "I've had to fight tooth and nail to get where I am, and I won't let anyone make me doubt myself. Not even you."

You nod your head slowly. "I get it. We all have our battles."

There was a pause before Ellie spoke again, her voice softer this time. "Look, y/l/n, I'm not saying we're suddenly going to be best buddies or anything. But maybe... maybe we can find a way to coexist without tearing each other apart. For the team sakes if anything."

You studied Ellie’s face, seeing a sincerity that was unexpected. For the first time, you allowed yourself to truly consider the possibility of a truce between the two of you. "Yeah, maybe we can." The tension in the room seemed to ease slightly, replaced by a tentative understanding. 

However, the fragile truce you had established was put to the test during an Arsenal v Arsenal scrimmage. The game was intense, with both sides fighting tooth and nail for victory. As the clock ticked down and the score remained tied, the pressure mounted.

You found yourself being subbed onto the pitch after halftime, your heart pounding as you chased after the ball. You maneuvered past defenders with finesse, your focus on the goal. Just as you were about to take the shot, Ellie’s foot came out of nowhere, intercepting the ball and sending it in a different direction.

"Fancy move, y/l/n, but you'll have to do better than that," Ellie’s voice taunted from behind you.

Your frustration flared, and you couldn't hold back your retort. "Maybe I would if someone didn't think they were the queen of the fucking pitch."

The game continued with both sides giving it their all. The tension on the pitch was thick, mirroring the tension that still lingered between you and Ellie. As the match entered the final minutes, you found yourself facing off against Ellie near the goal. The ball was within reach, victory hanging in the balance.

You dribbled past Ellie, your determination fueling your every move. You took the shot, the ball sailing towards the goal. But Ellie was there, deflecting the shot with a well-timed block. The whistle blew, signaling the end of the scrimmage with a draw.

As the team regrouped in the locker room, your frustration lingered. You couldn't shake the feeling that the rivalry with Ellie had affected your performance. You sat alone in front of your cubby, your thoughts a jumble of emotions.

Ellie approached, her expression unreadable. "You played well out there. But you've got to learn not to let your emotions get the best of you."

Your temper flared, the familiar resentment bubbling up. "Oh, I'm sorry if I don't have years of experience in keeping my cool like you."

Ellie’s jaw clenched, and for a moment, it seemed as though you were on the brink of another confrontation. But then, unexpectedly, Ellie sighed. "Look, I'm not saying this to be nice, but I know you're a damn good player, anybody with a decent set of eyes can see it. You just need to channel that fire in the right direction."

You looked at Ellie, surprised by the genuine advice. It was a side of her that you rarely saw—the vulnerability beneath the layers of hostility. "Thanks," you muttered, your pride making it difficult to fully acknowledge the concession.

Ellie nodded, her eyes briefly meeting yours before she turned and walked away. The encounter left you with a mix of conflicting emotions. Maybe, there was more to your rivalry than you had initially thought.

Weeks turned into months, and you and Ellie continued to navigate the delicate balance between rivalry and mutual respect. Your interactions became less charged, your exchanges more civil. Training sessions saw fewer verbal jabs and more focused drills.

And then, one day, it happened. It was a routine practice, but something was different. You found yourself looking at Ellie in a new light, noticing the subtle nuances in her expressions and the way her eyes crinkled when she smiled, even if it was rare.

During a break, as you were catching your breath, Ellie approached you. "Not bad out there today."

Your heart raced, your nerves betraying you. "Thanks, Williams."

Ellie hesitated for a moment before speaking again, her voice softer than usual. "You know, sometimes it's okay to acknowledge your strengths. It doesn't make you any less of a competitor."

You met Ellie’s gaze, seeing a glimmer of something more in her eyes. You felt a connection, a shared understanding that ran deeper than your rivalry. In that moment, you realized that you were more alike than you had ever wanted to admit.

As you both stood there, the tension between you had shifted. It was as if a new chapter had begun, one that held the promise of something beyond the animosity you had known. And in that small shift, you saw a glimpse of the possibility for a different kind of connection—one that went beyond the field, beyond the rivalry, and into uncharted territory.

The weeks that followed saw a gradual evolution in you and Ellie’s relationship. You both continued to challenge each other on the pitch, but there were moments of unexpected friendliness that seemed to catch you both off guard.

During a particularly intense training session, you found yourself locked in a one-on-one with Ellie. Her movements were precise and calculated. As you managed to get past Ellie and score a goal, you couldn't help but feel a surge of triumph.

Ellie’s expression was a mix of frustration and begrudging admiration. "Not bad. Looks like you've been working on your footwork."

You caught your breath, your heart racing from the exertion. "Well, someone has to score goals for the team."

Ellie rolled her eyes, but there was a trace of a smile tugging at her lips. "Don't get too cocky. This was just practice."

As the days turned into weeks, you found yourself increasingly drawn to Ellies presence. You couldn't ignore the way your heart raced whenever Ellie was near or the moments when your gazes lingered just a fraction longer than necessary.

One evening, after another successful game, the team decided to go out for a celebratory dinner. You found yourself sitting across from Ellie at the restaurant, your interactions surprisingly easy. You traded stories and laughs, and you couldn't help but marvel at the way Ellie’s sharp wit and dry humor had you smiling genuinely.

As the night wore on, the group began to disperse, leaving you and Ellie alone at the table. The atmosphere had shifted from hostility to something more complex, and you found yourself wanting to explore it further.

"You know, we've come a long way from where we started," You said, your voice tinged with both curiosity and vulnerability.

Ellie nodded, her expression more thoughtful than usual. "Yeah, I guess we have."

You hesitated for a moment before speaking again. "Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like if we weren't rivals. If we could actually get along."

Ellie’s gaze held yours, her eyes searching for something. "It's not that simple, y/n. We've got history."

You nodded, understanding the truth in Ellie’s words. "I know. But maybe we could start over. Put the rivalry behind us."

Ellie’s guard seemed to momentarily waver, revealing a glimpse of uncertainty. "And why would we do that?"

You took a deep breath, your heart pounding as you voiced what had been lingering in your mind. "Because I think there's more to you than the tough exterior you show the world, Ellie. And I think we could actually be friends."

Ellie’s expression was that of surprise. For a moment, you held your breath, unsure of how Ellie would respond.

"You've got a lot of nerve, y/l/n," Ellie finally said, her tone defensive.

You met Ellie’s gaze. "Yeah, well, maybe that's what it takes to break down walls."

Ellie seemed to study you for a moment before letting out a soft chuckle. "You're relentless, you know that?"

You grinned. "It's one of my best qualities."

The evening ended on a surprisingly positive note, with you and Ellie parting ways with a newfound understanding.

In the days that followed, you and Ellie’s interactions continued to evolve. You found yourselves sharing occasional moments of friendship, whether it was a congratulatory pat on the back after a tough training session or a shared joke that left you both laughing. However, the underlying tension remained, occasionally resurfacing in a sharp remark or a competitive challenge on the field.

One sunny afternoon, the team gathered for another friendly scrimmage. You and Ellie were on opposing sides, your rivalry intensifying as you fought for control of the ball. 

During a break, you approached the sidelines to catch your breath. You glanced over to where Ellie was standing, her chest heaving from the exertion. Your eyes met, and you couldn't help but offer a nod of acknowledgment. Ellie responded with a curt nod of her own, a silent acknowledgment of the mutual respect that had slowly begun to form between you.

As the scrimmage continued, your mind drifted back to your conversation at the restaurant. You wondered if Ellie had taken your words to heart, if there was a chance for you to truly move beyond the rivalry that had defined your relationship for so long.

The opportunity to explore this newfound connection presented itself one evening after practice. You found yourself alone, yet again, in the locker room, lost in thought. You were startled when the door opened, and Ellie walked in, her expression that of annoyance.

"Can't believe you managed to score that goal," Ellie muttered, her arms crossed.

You raised an eyebrow, a hint of amusement in your voice. "Jealous, Williams?"

Ellie rolled her eyes, but there was a playful glint in her gaze. "As if."

Your lips twitched into a smile. "You know, we could make a pretty good team if we put our differences aside."

Ellie’s response was a mixture of surprise and skepticism. "You're actually suggesting we team up?"

You shrugged. "Why not? We both know how to play to our strengths. And imagine the look on everyone's faces if we actually worked together."

Ellie seemed to consider the proposition for a moment before relenting. "Fine. But this doesn't mean we're suddenly best friends or anything."

You grinned. "Of course not. Just allies on the field."

Over the following weeks, you and Ellie’s partnership began to take shape. You pushed each other to excel, your competitive spirit driving you both to new heights. The tension between you had transformed into a unique synergy, a blend of rivalry and friendship that was as unexpected as it was effective.

Off the field, your interactions continued to be marked by moments of both warmth and hostility. You found yourself enjoying Ellie’s company more than you would have thought possible, relishing the glimpses of vulnerability that occasionally surfaced beneath her tough exterior.

One evening, as the sun set over the horizon, you found yourself sitting on the bleachers of the empty stadium. You gazed out at the field, lost in thought. You were startled when Ellie appeared beside you, her gaze fixed on the same view.

"Enjoying the peace and quiet?" Ellie’s voice was unusually soft.

You smiled, a hint of nostalgia in your eyes. "Yeah, it's a nice change from the chaos of the game."

Ellie nodded in agreement. "You know, I never thought I'd say this, but... you've made training a little less unbearable."

You chuckled. "High praise coming from you, Williams."

The stadium was bathed in the soft hues of the setting sun, casting a warm and golden glow over the field. The atmosphere was tranquil, a stark contrast to the intensity of your usual rivalry. You turned your attention to Ellie, your gaze lingering on her profile. There was a vulnerability in Ellie’s expression, a crack in the armor that had always shielded her from the world.

"Who would've thought that we'd end up here?" You mused, your voice laced with a mixture of disbelief and amusement.

Ellie let out a wry chuckle, her eyes never leaving the horizon. "Yeah, it's a strange twist of fate."

The air was thick with unspoken emotions, a charged silence that seemed to envelop you both. Your heart raced as you found yourself inching closer to Ellie, your body moving almost of its own accord. Your shoulders brushed against each other, sending a jolt of electricity through your veins.

"You know, I never really knew you before all of this," you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

Ellie turned to face you, her gaze intense and searching. Your breath caught in your throat as your eyes locked. In that moment, the world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you in a bubble of suspended time. The months of rivalry, the animosity, it all seemed to melt away, leaving behind an undeniable connection that neither of you could ignore.

Without another word, you closed the distance between the both of you, your heart pounding in your chest. You pressed your lips to Ellie’s in a hesitant, gentle kiss.

As you pulled away, a mixture of surprise and uncertainty played across Ellie’s features. Your heart raced as you searched Ellie’s eyes for any sign of regret, but what you found was a flicker of something else—something that mirrored your own feelings.

"I... I don't know what this means," You admitted, your voice tinged with a touch of insecurity.

Ellie’s lips curved into a small, genuine smile. "I don't either. But I guess we'll figure it out together."

Your lips twitched into a smile of their own, a sense of hope blossoming within you. "Yeah, I guess we will."

You sat there in the fading light, side by side on the bleachers, the weight of your shared history and newfound connection hanging in the air. The stadium that had witnessed countless fierce battles between you both now bore witness to a different kind of victory—one that transcended rivalry and embraced the possibility of something more.

[bookstrrs]

LOOK WHAT I FOUBD 🔥🔥🔥

[lvnleah]

Christmas 2030.

find the series masterlist here!

6 & 2 years old | December 2030

“Mumma, boots!” Ellie said as she sat on the bottom step, pointing at a pair of football boots, “Put boots on!” 

“Els it’s Christmas and it’s cold!” Leah laughed as she helped Finley to slip his boots on. “You need your big snow boots to keep you warm, bubs!”

Ellie shook her head before turning her attention to you, “Mummy, no! ‘Ou tell Mumma no!”

You chuckled at Ellie’s stubbornness, kneeling down in front of her as she stared up at you with her big, pleading eyes. Those same eyes Leah could never say no to—Ellie knew exactly what she was doing. 

"Ellie," you began gently, smoothing a hand over her curls, "Mumma’s right. It’s too cold for your football boots today. We’ll wear them when it’s warmer, okay?"

Ellie’s little face scrunched up in frustration, her lower lip trembling like she might argue again. But before she could protest, Leah swooped in, lifting Ellie into her arms and spinning her around. 

"How about this," Leah said with a playful grin, "We’ll put your football boots on after the walk when we get home, and you can show everyone how fast you are inside. Deal?"

Ellie paused, clearly weighing her options. Then, with a slow, deliberate nod, she pointed a tiny finger at Leah. "Deal, Mumma," she said seriously like they were sealing an important agreement.

You smiled, relieved that the potential meltdown had been avoided. Finley, now fully bundled up in his winter gear, came bouncing over, tugging at your hand. "Can we go now, Mum? I wanna show everyone my bike again! And Uncle Snake promised he’d play with me and Henry!”

"Of course, bud," you said, standing up and grabbing his hand. "Let’s head out before it gets too dark."

It was Christmas Eve and like every year, you were joining Leah’s family on their Christmas Eve walk. The walk had changed a lot over the years, from it being just the two of you to you walking it while pregnant with Finley to then adding him and Ellie into the mix. 

Leah grabbed the pram as you made your way outside with the kids, you both knew that Ellie would get tired and end up falling off to sleep. 

“Nana!” Ellie smiled, running over to Amanda, “Walk in woods?”

Amanda scooped Ellie up into her arms, “Yeah, bubba! We’re going for a walk in the woods, are you excited?”

“Chase Finn and Snake?” Ellie said, pointing and Finley who was playing a game of tag with Jacob. 

Ellie wiggled with excitement in Amanda’s arms, her tiny legs kicking. Leah chuckled as she locked the front door and grabbed your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Looks like we’re in for a lively walk."

You smiled back at her. "At least until Ellie passes out."

Amanda adjusted Ellie on her hip, a knowing smile on her face. "I give it ten minutes. She’s always out like a light after running with those two."

As you all began to walk towards the woods, the familiar sounds of laughter and chatter surrounded you. Leah’s family had already gathered, the kids excitedly running ahead, while the adults strolled at a more leisurely pace. Jacob, of course, was already engaged in an exaggerated game of hide-and-seek with Finley and Henry, ducking behind trees and making the boys squeal with laughter as they tried to find him.

Leah nudged you with her shoulder, smiling as she watched the scene unfold. "Remember when it was just us, sneaking away for this walk after all the Christmas chaos?"

You laughed, squeezing her hand. "I remember. Feels like a lifetime ago, but I wouldn’t trade this for anything."

Ellie had already wriggled out of Amanda’s arms and was determinedly following Finley and Jacob, though her little legs couldn’t quite keep up. You could see her determination, her face scrunched up with focus as she called after them, "Wait! Ellie fast too!"

Leah laughed softly, watching her. "She’s going to be unstoppable when she’s older, you know that?"

"She already is," you said, chuckling as Ellie finally gave up chasing the boys and ran back to Amanda, huffing in frustration. 

Leah wrapped an arm around you as the woods surrounded you all. The air was crisp, but the warmth of the moment was undeniable. This was tradition, the kind that felt timeless and comforting no matter how many years passed.

After a while, Ellie, predictably, started to slow down, her steps growing heavier until she was half-limping, half-stumbling. Leah noticed immediately and scooped her up, snuggling her into the warm folds of her coat.

“Looks like we hit the ten-minute mark,” Leah whispered with a grin, her breath visible in the cold air.

You laughed softly, reaching over to tuck a strand of hair behind Ellie’s ear as her eyes drooped shut. "Told you." You smiled as Leah placed her in the pram. 

As the walk continued, the sun dipped lower, casting a golden hue over the woods. Leah slowed her pace, making sure the kids were always within view. Finley was still full of energy, racing ahead with Jacob and Henry, while Ellie snoozed peacefully in the pram, her cheeks rosy from the cold.

You walked hand in hand with Leah beside Amanda, Jordan and Holly. The cold air nipped at your cheeks, but the warmth of Leah’s hand in yours kept you grounded and comfortable. It felt perfect, this moment where the noise of the world was drowned out by nature and family.

Jordan, laughing at something Holly had said, turned back toward you and Leah. “You two all set for tomorrow? I’m guessing the kids are going to wake up at dawn.”

You exchanged a knowing glance with Leah, who chuckled. “If we’re lucky, it’ll be dawn. Last year, Finley was up before four. Had to convince him to go back to sleep.”

Amanda smiled. “It’s the magic of Christmas. I still remember when you were like that, Le. Couldn’t wait to see what Santa brought.”

Leah smiled at her mum. “Yeah, I remember too. But now it’s payback, right?”

You nudged Leah playfully. “I don’t think either of us were prepared for the chaos that comes with two kids at Christmas.”

Jordan laughed. “Chaos is what makes it fun! Besides, now we have Jacob to distract the kids, right?” She motioned toward Jacob, who was hiding poorly behind a tree from the boys. The kids' laughter echoed through the woods as they “sneaked up” on him.

“They’ve got him wrapped around their fingers,” Leah said, shaking her head with amusement. 

The woods began to open up into a small clearing, the glow from distant houses beginning to illuminate the path. Ellie stirred slightly in the pram but remained asleep, her little fingers peeking out from beneath the blanket. Leah paused for a moment, bending down to tuck the blanket back around her more snugly.

By the time you returned to the house, the kids were worn out but in high spirits, their cheeks flushed from the chilly air. Inside, the warmth enveloped you, and the smell of hot chocolate and Christmas Eve dinner preparations filled the air. 

After getting the kids into their pyjamas and tucking them into bed—Finley still chattering away about the walk, and Ellie too tired to even protest—there was finally a quiet moment for just you and Leah.

You found her in the living room, sitting on the couch with a blanket draped over her legs. You sat beside her, leaning your head against her shoulder, feeling the familiar comfort of her presence.

Leah shifted slightly, "I keep saying it but I can’t believe how big they’re getting," she said softly. "It feels like yesterday when it was just Finley’s first Christmas, and now look at him…and Els too. She’s so big…"

You smiled, “I know. It’s going by so fast."

Leah was quiet for a moment, her hand finding yours and intertwining your fingers. "I’ve been thinking," she said softly, her voice a little hesitant. "About having another baby."

You turned your head slightly to look at her. She met your gaze, her eyes searching yours for a reaction. You’d talked about it a lot since Ellie’s first day of preschool and it was something that you couldn’t stop thinking about. 

"You really want to go have another one?" you asked gently. “And you’re up to carrying a baby?”

Leah exhaled slowly, nodding. "Yeah… I do. I know it won’t be easy, and we might have to face some challenges. But I can’t stop thinking about it. I feel like… I don’t know, like we’re not done yet. I don’t care about missing time from football, I’m craving another baby. I want another tiny little newborn, pretty girl.”

Your heart warmed at the thought of expanding your family. "You’ve been thinking about this for a while, huh?"

Leah smiled softly, a bit sheepish. "Yeah. It’s been on my mind, especially seeing Ellie and Finn together, and how much love they have for each other. And I want that again—another little one to love, to grow with us. I really want to experience pregnancy too.”

You leaned into her more, pressing a soft kiss to her shoulder. "You know I’m with you, whatever happens. We can make it work, just like we always have."

Leah squeezed your hand, her thumb brushing over your knuckles. "I know. I just… I needed to say it out loud. To see if you were on the same page."

You smiled against her shoulder. "We’ve always been on the same page, Le. If this is what you want, we’ll figure it out together."

She looked at you, her eyes a little misty. "Thank you, pretty girl.”

You pulled her closer, wrapping your arms around her. "We’ve got this, no matter what."

[pixiesfz]

could you write about sam being sick and still playing through a game and the reader just takes care of her afterwards etc? i loved your jessie fic so much 😭😭🫶🏼

Stubborn girls s.k x r

plot: After a family night out Sam gets food poisoning, y/n tells her not to play but she doesn’t listen.

warning: reader and Sam have a child, sickness and vomiting , I’m writing this on my phone, I also don’t know how to cure food poisoning so just go with it

“I liked that place” You said as Sam opened the door for you and your sleeping daughter who you know held “I’m not sure my stomach isn’t feeling right”

“Well that is because you got the seafood which I said don’t get because-“

You were cut off as your wife ran to the toilet it wasn’t till later you heard Sam hurling up the last of her dinner.

you walked to the bathroom with your little toddler still in your arms who now stirred awake.

“Sam?” You asked at the door “I’m alright” she said “you sure? The colour in your face says different” you pointed at her face as Sam once again had her face in the toilet.

“Mama sick” your toddler said from your shoulder and you nodded “yeah cause she ate the seafood” you mumbled and your wife groaned.

“Time to go to bed bubba” You told your daughter who merely nodded “Sam are you okay?” You asked her again and she nodded “It’s a one time thing I reckon” her Australian accent shining through, you nodded and walked your daughter to her room.

“Mama got game tomorrow” your daughter said and you nodded “correct but mama is sick and shouldn’t play” you smiled at your daughter even though your words were serious “but mama said she’s fine”

“Mama lies a lot”.

You made sure your daughter was in bed and asleep before you made your way to the kitchen and grabbed medicine and a washcloth which you put u der the cold water from the sink.

“Sammy” you sung out, expecting her to be in the bed but she was still in the bathroom. You sighed as you now knew that she shouldn’t play tomorrow.

Sam seemed to read your mind as she looked up to you “I’m fine I promise” she said but you shook your head “Your skin is pale, you have bags under your eyes and your head has been stuck in the toilet for about” you checked your watch “twenty minutes now”

“Twenty minutes?” Sam asked and you nodded “little darling was a bit woke when she heard you chuck up” you said before you sat down next to Sam and took off your shoes “I’m fine-“ “No you’re not” you cut off Sam.

You rose your brows at her which she looked away from “you have food poisoning” you told her before bringing the medication and the washcloth out.

Sam excepted it as you put it on her forehead “You know you can’t play tomorrow” you told her and she groaned “we are versing Arsenal tomorrow I am playing” she said “what and vomit all over the pitch, no way am I watching that” you said before filling up a glass of water.

“Here take these” you said before pushing the tablets out to her, she did and you stroked her hair “just know that your team would rather you play healthy rather than play sick” you said and she leaned into your touch “I love you” she said with a smile.

“Are you trying to trick me into telling you that you can play”

“No”

You looked at her again.

“Maybe” she admitted and you gave her a sweet kiss on her temple “you missed” she whispered, a joke between the two of you on how you had your first kiss.

“I am not kissing you on the lips until you drink that water and have those tablets” you said before sitting up “I’ll grab you pyjamas and I’ll put a bucket next to our bed, if you need to wake me then do” you told Sam with a stern voice as she usually would try to hide any sickness or injury from you.

You grabbed her a pair of trackie shorts and a used oversized top and a bucket before placing the bucket to Sam’s side of the bed and passing the clothing to her.

“I love you” Sam said “and I truly mean it this time” she smiled “I love you too, in sickness and in health” you joked before giving her a soft kiss on the lips.

You crashed into your bed fairly quickly after and fell asleep, when you woke up you went to cuddle into Sam only to find an empty space.

Opening your eyes, you groaned to see your wife not present in the bed, then you checked the clock to see the time.

10 am.

You shot up, you were supposed to be up at 8, your alarm should’ve woken you up it always does.

Then you saw the paper on top of Sam’s pillow.

‘I feel better now and went to the game, sorry’

“That evil little Australian mother fucker” you swore to yourself before you heard a gasp behind you.

“Mummy swore!” Your daughter said from behind you “no she didn’t” you said very quickly to the giggly girl

“You said fuck!” she yelled before running away.

You sighed to yourself as you ran your fi hers through your hair. Grabbing your phone you saw to see that Sam turned off your alarm.

You then called her in anger which she didn’t pick up. Rolling your eyes you got up and put your jeans and your Chelsea jersey on “Well if she says she’s fine then let’s go watch”.

You got ready quickly and then got your daughter ready who had thankfully have seemed to forget about her new word she had learned.

You out on her Chelsea beanie and top and you both drove to the game. It would be around the second half once you got there.

“Hey y/n where you been, did you sleep in?” One of Your girlfriends team mates sister teased as you sat in the family and friends section. “You can say something like that.

“Mama Sick!” Your daughter smiled to her and she nodded her head “I could tell something was off because right now we’re getting smashed” she said and you furrowed your brows “what?” She pointed at the score.

3-1

You let your daughter look over the gate as you shook your head and looked for Sam “can you see Mama?” You asked your daughter and she laughed “Mama off” she said and you looked to the corner to see Sam subbed off.

You hated to say it because you loved her so much but she looked terrible.

Her tan skinned turned green and her bags under eyes were so dark she must not have slept last night.

When the siren went You saw Millie who went to go to your daughter “get Sam” you told her as she picked your daughter up “Is Mama in trouble?” Millie sang out to your daughter who laughed at the older girl

“how bout, lie to your wife, turn her alarm off so she doesn’t know that your playing sick type of mad?” You said

“Mummy is very mad” your daughter told Millie who opened her eyes wide “I’ll go get her” she said and went off, you didn’t want to get mad at her in public so you shook your head “tell her to meet me at home”

When you next saw Sam she walked into the kitchen where you sat with your daughter, watching her favourite show and she walked up to you with her head down “What you upset that I didn’t wake up later?” You asked and she shook her head.

When she looked up your heart almost broke, her eyes were shiny and her face was red, she had been crying.

“I’m sorry” she said and sniffed and you quickly got yo and held her “it’s okay” you said before you shook your head “actually it’s not okay but we can get to that later” you told her as you rubbed her back up and down.

When she sat down next to you she put her head on your shoulder “I shouldn’t of played, I just put them one man down, I couldn’t do anything special” she said and you grabbed her hand “You don’t need to do something special every time you play Sam”

“I know since the World Cup eyes have been on you but I want you to know that you are allowed to make mistakes and take time for yourself without being a bad player or being selfish”

She looked up to you with glossy eyes “I love you so much, you always know what to say” you smiled “I know and that’s why you married me” you smirked, knowing this time you were right.

“Mummy said fuck!”

Both of your heads whipped to your daughter who was smiling with her doll.

“Mummy said what?” Sam asked your daughter with a smirk.

You were somehow both in the doghouse that night.

[alotofpockets]

Woso Memes Appreciation pt.4

Request a player | with @totaly-obsessed

[woso4-life]

Woso players looking good appreciation

[trulyhblue]

please send in ALL ur ideas idc how unhinged they are or if ur worried if they sound too cringe or smutty or fluffy or if they are only like small tropes i will literally sell both my tits for you guys to send in all ur wildest desires or requirements

I beg PLS PLS PLS PLS