#elena has thoughts

[elenagoeslightly]

girlbossing in the day

girlrotting in the night

[prismelit]

elena ferrante banging us all on the head with a hammer and shouting 'you can't outrun your mother, you only crash into her'

[alwaysyouuuuuu]

So i was thinking about your Wolfstar Marvel AU again (it should pay rent with how much it's spinning around my head) and like,,,, Sirius not having any kind of closure about Remus,,, he doesn't know what happened to him, they never found a body or any traces of him and then he was pronounced dead and Sirius just. Doesn't know. He doesn't even know why they took Remus in the first place. And he probably feels guilty about it too (bc ofc he would!!!). Just, the lack of closure of it all, the big question mark haunting him, up until 70+ years later when he's face-to-face with Remus again (I'm loving it)

Hi hi hi!!!! 💕💕💕 Thank you so much for the ask! I am so happy we both find it consuming haha and I agree. AU needs to start paying me hourly wages for just how much it keeps me up and wondering at night. I would be in tears and at the end of my wit, if I had to do just part of this research in school (I was not into history or any literature for school, and that's putting it mildly.) and now I do this willingly lol.

You know one of those, "I'm so glad you asked"- *7 hour long vm* memes? I fear this will end up like that. Bear with me.

Before we get into that, I'll clear up some background? So Remus was first taken along with a lot of their troop (ambush?), and they were partially injected (plot reasons plot reasons!! I feel like you can guess why!!) and the Sirius and co rescued them etc etc. And then Remus was targeted specifically.

So before the permafrost, I feel the situation was very bad for Sirius. For one, he would have agreed to the Serum in the first place because Remus was in captivity (also for the war effort, of course, but to Sirius, at that point there really was no room for question which may have been there otherwise), and then he got Remus back. Just to lose him again.

And then, to the Military and almost everyone else, Hope and Lyall Lupin lost a son, but Sirius Black lost a fellow soldier. He lost a comrade. Sure, they were friends, so him being vengeful is believable, to an extent. And no one really gets the blank look in his eyes, after.

I believe there was a quote that went like, "Should you lose a spouse/partner, there is a shared understanding of the relationship, but when you lose a friend, there's no tangible evidence, no widely acknowledged way to mourn."

Except, for Sirius, he did lose his partner, love of his life and dearest friend of so many years. And no one understands. Maybe James and Lily know, but it is the 40s. Realistically, they are quiet about it at best. For him it is both, and all the more painful. And he doesn't get exactly why Remus was targeted either. Remus was at an integral position in the OSS, unusual for his age, recruited at the very beginning, one of the sharpest minds, so it could have been that. And god, he was cold blooded when he got to fighting. But of course, he cannot shake the feeling that it was because of him.

So, in that time, the days he spent looking for Remus with James and Lily, (which really wasn't much, they would not have been allowed to!) he is partially cynical. Not to the point of self-blaming but enough to self-destruct. James tries to get him out of it, but Lily grits her teeth. She doesn't say much, because she understands, I believe, how much at that point he just wants it to end.

*BAM* permafrost.

After he gains consciousness, he would have blanked out for a while, because what even is this? But he doesn't, because after the first few excruciating minutes, when the blood is pounding in his chest, looking at every flash of light, every building and car that look unnatural, really, the first thing he processes is Moody telling him that the War is over. Good, at least something went well, he thinks.

They tell him many soldiers were rescued, because that's the first thing he asks. After it sinks in, he wants to hope, and maybe he does. Because this is real, he can see it. As outlandish as it is, he is in the future. If this can be real, how foolish would it be to hope that maybe Remus made it too? He would be old, and he would have lived his life. Maybe with someone else, and that's okay. If he gets to see him one more time, Jesus, it's okay.

They tell him what happened with HYDRA and his family. They tell him about James Potter and how he revolutionized weapons, they tell him about Lily Potter, who later went on to join the NSA. God, he gets fucking giddy hearing all of that, because it worked out. For someone, it did. For James and Lily, it did. He wants to meet Harry.

And he starts to have a nagging thought, because with how they speak of and to him, maybe they would have mentioned his known childhood friend. And Remus was known to his own credit.

So he asks, slowly about one Remus Lupin?

And lo and behold. They know of him of course, of course, he was Captain America's best friend. But nothing was known of him post war.

He tries to hold his face and nods, but Moody gives him a strange look. Tells him that he'll look into it for him. He tamps it down, though, there is no point in a wishful fantasy. He would have begged Moody if required, but there really is no point. And he doesn't think he can open his mouth without saying something incriminating.

Moody offers him the initiative, of course, but they tell him to take a breath, see the world, find himself first. And he does, he takes a few days. But then he gets time to think about it, to mull things over, to reevaluate his last choices. When he is trying to ease into the new world, he is busy, things are overwhelming. But once he gets home, he spirals. He remembers how panicky he had been during the first rescue mission. He had been desperate. And what if that clued them in? There were others in the OSS. So why just Remus?

It had to be him.

So he throws himself into missions, trains hard, exhausts himself so doesn't have to think. He does what he's always been doing, he helps SHIELD and doesn't question much, because he is still processing. Some things stick out but one can only handle so much, yeah? Besides, James and Lily were the co-founders.

He finds out. Well. Many things about his past and it's just so much (I'll stop or this itself will spiral to 3k.)

I feel he's quite mercurial at times in these days. Unsettled, but he keeps going. He drinks sometimes, gets shit faced. Those days are increasing, really.

Then he meets Elena.

And there is something striking about her. Such a young girl, and he can see it in her eyes that she has seen a lot. Too much. He sees himself in her. And he is protective. He is maybe a little taken aback. Because she seems so much... like an old soul.

And Elena is drawn to him too. She opens up, slowly, slowly, which she doesn't normally. But he is fiery. Like her. And they mostly have the same stances. She doesn't speak of her childhood, and so he doesn't ask. She does mention she had a dad, and though seemingly not for long, she remembers her name from him.

She seeks out his company and it soothes something in him. I feel he's a little more settled? With time? I mean it's hard to pity yourself when there is someone dragging you out to bowl and join soccer clubs, when that someone is a loner too. Even though thinking of Remus' hurts a little more each day, because he feels that Elena and Remus would get along so well. Man she even fights like him.

So when he sees Remus again, it is whiplash of the worst kind. Remus is just there. Because it is Remus and it is not, and he is standing there just staring because this Remus even fights the same. And he sees Elena standing frozen there, and it suddenly hits him that she looks... like Remus.

Except for her eyes and it is like he is watching everything from afar. All he can do try to hold Remus back. Until Neville flies them away.

Because what has his life come to?

Elena is not responding. She is not even looking at him. And Sirius is thinking a thousand miles an hour. I think he'd find out everything he can about whoever this Winter Soldier is.

Before they finally bring R in for questioning I feel S would be overcome with guilty and longing and a lot of painful confusion, really.

And mostly, Sirius is guilt ridden. Remus was in there, with them doing who knows what to him, for 70 years? He never deserved that. Sirius was outwardly rebellious. It was his family helping fund HYDRA. And then there's Elena. Is Elena Remus'? Because how in the world did Remus manage to have a kid while he was trapped in a facility?

There is something really cool about her name. if you look closely.

Outside of his blackouts, Remus solely spoke Russian to everyone around him for 70 years right? So it seems logical that's what he'd speak to elena in that environment, mind controlled half the time etc, before they were separated (she was like. 7) and he'd find it a little difficult to slip into English again, or that's what Elena thinks. So when he demands to meet her first, she storms in, defensive stance (Sirius is standing right outside by the way) but Remus just blinks. Because they said it was Elena Chernova. But it's not. It's Helena Black.

And Sirius just. Dies a little.

Basically. He is spiralling.

So is this, so I'll stop here.

Based on this post. + snippet.

[lilacerull0]

the initial appeal of lila to me was how in her childhood days, she was the brightest student, but managed to do it in the most unconventional way possible, a way that so closely mirrored my academic experience and that i was never able to find a description of until now. the prototype of the good at school kid is always somehow related to wanting to prove one's self to someone or living up to the expectations, be it your own or somebody else's, there is a level of obedience involved and a desire to be liked (sometimes hidden, sometimes quite outwardly) and it almost always ends in gifted kid burnout and being surrounded by this sort of portrayal has always felt kind of isolating to me who did and continues to get top marks, but fails to bow their head. as a child, lila is the best student in her school, but not because she has to be. it is simply the consequence of who she is, but her particular brand of intelligent fails to meet the parameters of how students are supposed to behave. and okay yeah, this is portrayed in fiction, but that kind of student usually doesn't get top marks in spite of being the smartest person in the room. lila does. because she is able to translate the awfully restricted, written according to some unwritten step by step guidebook, material (that is supposed to offer information, but unable free thinking or thinking at all) and give it her own spin that results in teachers being obligated to grade her accordingly because she understands what's being taught, but also resent her because her understanding of it is too out there to be acceptable. she takes the material out of context (the context being school) and tries to understand it for what it is simply because it interests her. it's the sentences that have been following me for as long as i can remember "you're incredible bright, but you wander off" or "your knowledge lacks structure" or "you're incredibly bright, but your way of thinking is incompatible with the world's mechanisms". (something that has been said about me in kindergarten because that's an okay thing to do to a child apparently) and i have mentioned this in relation to lila before, but i think she is able to keep this attitude alive because it isn't an attitude at all, it's a way of being. she isn't a rebel by choice, she's a rebel almost biologically. (which is an advantage, but the world isn't too into people who think, no restrictions attached) it's almost like her main trait is having too much individuality which was always how i felt about myself and what causes people to characterize you as unfeeling. i love her forever <3

[blueflyingturtleontheway]

Treat - “Okay. Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do—fuck” for Gabe and Alonso, please?

"Okay." Gabe finally took his hands away from his face, at least a semblance of a plan finally formed in his mind. "Okay, here's what we're gonna do- fuck!"

He couldn't control himself anymore when he saw Alonso kick a hole in the floor of their carriage-prison.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

"Saving us, duh!"

Alonso didn't even look at him, but continued to kick down the planks until he could get his whole foot out. Then he sent Gabe a triumphant - terrifying, in their current situation - smile and with all his strength kicked the back wheels axle.

The pole snapped, the cart skidded to one side and Gabe crashed into Alonso, knocking them both against the wall. And if he hadn't already accidentally hit him in the head, he'd definitely do it on purpose.

Alonso seemed to understand that, seeing Gabe's furious gaze and really wished his face wasn't currently smushed into his own. He did also start to question if maybe his idea wasn't so good after all.

As if in an answer to the unspoken threat, the cart jumped one more time when the wheel completely fell off and dropped on one side to the ground.

The door swung open.

Gabe and Alonso looked at it in disbelief.

Two thugs on horseback looked at them back, in similar disbelief.

"Fuck it," Gabe whispered breathlessly and jumped out of the carriage, dragging Alonso behind him.

They hit the ground and ran, Alonso stumbling and complaining, but following nonetheless.

"What are you two idiots staring at, get'em!"

Alonso turned in time to see the two thugs shake off the shock and rush their horses. His terrified scream however was cut short by another yank from Gabe, dragging him into the forest by the side of the road.

"What are you- It's- Getting lost in the jungle isn't much better than getting kidnapped, Gabe!" he shouted when he finally spat the leaves out of his mouth.

"It's better than getting trampled!"

"They wouldn't do that! We're valuable prisoners! Or at least I am." They had to slow down to push through the thicket which unfortunately gave Alonso the time to catch his breath.

The voices behind them got louder. Their pursuers must've gotten off their horses and followed them.

"Gah, they're catching up on us! Can't you go any faster?" Alonso picked up the pace and was basically breathing down Gabe's neck now. For a moment Gabe considered just letting him get recaptured.

"They wouldn't be so close, if you didn't give out our position with your babbling."

"What does it matterrr," Alonso groaned, since Gabe couldn't see him roll his eyes. "I see a path to the left, we're gonna go much faster in that direction."

They could split up. It was tempting.

"Nope." He turned around and grabbed Alonso by his collar, pulling him again behind him. Elena would probably kill him if he let him get killed.

"Will you stop doing this-!" The prince slapped his hand off. "Why does it matter?! We're walking aimlessly anyway!"

"We're not." Gabe let the next branch hit Alonso in the face. "And we're almost..."

His voice trailed off as they stumbled into a clearing. After a few meters of high grass the ground ended abruptly in a low cliff and fell into a wide river.

"This has been your genius plan?" Alonso huffed and slowly clapped his hands. "Good job general, now we don't have anywhere to run."

"We do." Gabe walked to the cliff. Alonso followed him before his hand once again could reach for his collar. "I hope you can swim?"

Alonso glanced at the river. It wasn't a raging mountain torrent, luckily, but the thought of entering an unknown body of water with no preparation (and without his swimsuit!) still filled him with dread. A chill ran down his spine. He hid it under a scoff.

"Why would I need to? The only time I go on water is in my yacht, of course I don't swim."

That's when the thugs entered the clearing.

Gabe turned to Alonso and it was finally his turn to smile triumphantly - and it filled Alonso with terror.

"Then it's time you learned!"

He tackled Alonso into the river.

If Alonso drowns now, that's on him

Thank you for the request! Can you believe this duo has actually been on my mind lately?

Happy halloween!

[rodentjazz]

*out of breath, bloodied clothes, tears running down face* I finished apotheosis

[notmoreflippingelves]

[lieutenant-amuel]

You cannot tell me he is not a nerd.

[thecavegoblinhasbeenreleased]

Love how the immediate reaction to Elena was just pure unconditional girl boss support like I have not seen a single person who is actively busy with the qsmp say anything negative about her (valid reasons, love this character) I was in the YouTube live and the amount of people spamming Elena support and hearts was so extreme that when a new person joined they thought Elena was like a pre-established federation character because they asked "who's Elena?" Or something along those lines and no one could answer because this was the first stream she was ever in

God bless women in stem

[www-jungwon]

oops i lied one more post before i return to death

SONG KANG. MY DEMON. PLS TELL ME YOUSFV ESEEN IT BC OH MY GDUSO I CANTW HES TEWWWWWWWWWW FINE LIKE HELLO ???

[burning-sol]

hmmmm hmmmmm post canon fic where peter and elena visit exandroth at the celestial realm occasionally to check up on it, but one day elena visits alone. when exandroth pushes asking why she seems so down, they start to berate the other for not being more grateful peter is doing this for him despite being so messed up from exandroth's abuse. elena tries to frame it as being solely about peter, but it becomes clear that elena is the harbinger of ill-content - with many complicated feelings they'd been trying to keep down coming out all at once. elena wishes that exandroth had been the one locked away with zuen instead of thanatos, and exandroth reveals it hasnt been coping with things so great either.

[thatgirlonstage]

Thinking through the logical conclusions of lore that the source material has clearly not thought that deeply about can be annoying or depressing in the sense of seeing exactly how deep the plot holes go but so long as it doesn’t inherently break the suspension of disbelief or ruin your enjoyment of the overall story it can be really fun to figure out what you can use to plug the holes. Like that’s just free real estate now baby. If the lore implies X but the story wound up at Z, then you can make the journey through Y be whatever you want it to be

[thebellekeys]

the season 3 finale was heartwrenching and sick and twisted and has me screaming crying and throwing up

[lilacerull0]

you know that episode really fucked me up this morning

[clonedchaos]

Hehehe, Alien Robots

Watched Transformers: Rise of the Beasts with my dad today and legit all I can think about is writing a fanfiction centered around the cast being found family and doing mundane slice of life things bc they’re aliens and need to interact with earth more. 😭

I also kept mistaking Optimus Primal as a robot version of King Kong, but that’s not relevant.

Read the tags if you want my random thoughts and some spoilers.

[elena-of-avalor-polls]

Those are the themes I have in mind for now! If you have any more suggestions, please share them with me! I’ll add them to my list after the second tournament so we have an undying number of the themes for the future.