#elena and her passionate nature that can go both ways; she both loves and hates deeply

[el3nasa]

let me assign you a love language.

an undoing influence.

can someone tell you what to do? you have been carrying so much love within you for so long it is starting to turn into anger (why does it matter, all you see is red anyways) and you have been dragging this body through each day and every night you are split open on your bed and it is so so so lonely. if someone were to walk in while you were on your bed that way and they stitched you back in a new way, lining the seams with their love and kisses, you’d probably find this dreary world a little more bearable. you want someone to turn you over and over until you look in the mirror and see yourself looking back at yourself with a gentleness which has been lacking in you since forever.

tagged by: @savagevillain <3 tagging: @port3r, @tobeblamed, @benbraeden, @ealiyah, @unbearablyindifferent, @unseenking, @dameien, @hex9irl, @strnza, and you!

[bellemorte180]

Compromise Coffee

Caroline Forbes has a coffee problem; or better described as a crush on the cute barista, Klaus, who knows how to make her large, non-fat latte with a caramel drizzle and two extra espresso shots just right. After years of coming to Compromise Coffee, Caroline thought he would have made a move by now, but he hasn't. Caroline has decided that it is time for her to make the move herself.

Written for June 2020 Bingo- prompt Coffee Shop @klaroline-events

Compromise Coffee

The smell of coffee wafted through the small shop. The coffee at Compromise Coffee was astonishing and far better than anything that could be bought at Starbucks; and half the price. The taste of the coffee was bold and dedicant; the lattes always have the exact amount of foam to coffee ratio that pleased Caroline. They did not just serve coffee or fancy lattes, they also specialized in teas (literally having tea sets that can be brought out for the real picky tea drinkers), pleasing both coffee and tea drinkers alike. From the moment she had stepped into the small coffee shop her freshman year of college, she was hooked.

It was a relatively new shop then, having only been open for a year or so and located near Whitmore College. It had taken off and became a local student hot spot almost instantly. It was always crowed but never overly noisy. It had hard wood flooring with high ceilings and tall windows that let natural light in. It felt industrial but cozy at the same time. The staff was friendly, and Caroline never had to return an order; and Caroline had no issues with doing so if her order was just slightly off. If her large, non-fat latte with a caramel drizzle and two extra espresso shots was not perfect, Caroline could become cranky. Yet it was rare for her to have to return any of her drinks at Compromise.

Although, that might be because there was only one barista that even made Caroline’s lattes anymore. Klaus. He was always behind the counter when she stepped into the shop and by the time, she made it to the counter, her drink was ready for her; the word Sweetheart written in place of her name. At first, when Caroline was nothing more than a sweet and innocent college freshman, she had been offended. She was still in a long-distance relationship with her high school sweetheart who she thought she was going to marry when he had written her name on the cup the first time.

To say that relationship crashed and burned was an understatement.

Klaus, the barista who purposely continued to label her drink as Sweetheart, even five years later, became an infuriating fixture in her weekly routine. Between his exasperating smile, refusal to write her actual name on the cup and the fact that he made her drink exactly how she liked it made Caroline confused on whether she loved or hated him. At first, she would swear it was in the latter category because, while he never pushed her or demanded anything from her, especially after she made it clear that she was in a serious relationship, made his interest well known. Even though she was with Tyler, Caroline could not help but be flattered by it; and that only made her angrier.

Her irritation at him lasted for literal years before she began to soften towards him.

It was actually Klaus who helped her get over the fact that Tyler cheated on her; and had been for years she had come to learn. She spent the majority of her college career with that dickhead, practically celibate, and he had been screwing every girl in sight. When Klaus realized why she was sitting by herself in the back of the coffee shop crying, all drinks were on the house and even sent over the chocolate scones she liked for free. He listened to her cry more than once and even wrote sweet messages on her cup when he saw she was upset.

The words ‘You’re strong, beautiful and full of light’ became one of her favorites.

After she pulled herself from her heartbreak and banged Tyler’s memory from her system, she had thought that maybe Klaus would make a move. She no longer felt guilty for the way seeing his perfect scroll of Sweetheart made her heart flutter. Or how his smirk was softer when it was directed to her. Their banter drew her in instead of infuriating her. She secretly liked how he pushed her buttons but at the same time he would bend over backwards to make her smile; adding just a tiny bit more foam than he would for other customers or going heavy on the caramel drizzle. Caroline had thought he would ask her out or make some sort of move; but he never did.

“Earth to Caroline.” Bonnie’s voiced pulled Caroline from her musings. Bonnie was waving her hand in front of her face while wearing an amused smirk on her face. “Is it the early mornings at the news station that have you zoned out or is it because you’re drooling over Klaus again?”

“I wasn’t drooling.” Caroline replied heatedly while touching her lips with her fingers. They were dry. “And I wasn’t looking at Klaus. I was just thinking about work things while staring off into space in his general direction. I wasn’t staring at him. Nope. Not at all.”

“Right. Of course, you weren’t.” Bonnie snorted, shooting a look towards Elena. Caroline looked towards her other friend, hoping that Elena would back her up. The three of them were sitting at their usual table that the claimed every Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings; late mornings. Caroline was working as a news reporter for the local station but seeing that she was only a year out of college, she got worst shift possible. She was at work every morning by 3 am and finished her day by ten in the morning. Given the fact that Elena was in medical school and Bonnie was still taking grad courses at Whitmore, their coffee meet ups were really the only time they were able to spend time with one another. “Why don’t you just ask him out already? It’s been what? Two years that you’ve been drooling over him? Longer if you count you having that massive crush on him while you were still dating douchebag.”

“Bonnie!” Elena exclaimed. “Caroline is not interested in Klaus and I don’t think he is interested in her either.”

“Really Elena?” Bonnie asked in a disbelieving tone. Bonnie reached over and picked up Caroline’s to-go mug and placed it in front of Elena; the word Sweetheart clearly visible. “Not to mention he knows her name because he greets her with “Morning Caroline” every time he sees her, something he doesn’t do with either of us and not to mention he has Caroline’s ridiculous coffee order memorized and perfected. If that doesn’t scream interest, I don’t know what does.”

“My coffee order is not ridiculous!”

“I just don’t think Caroline and Klaus would work out.” Elena said and her passionate tone took Caroline aback. “I mean think about it. Caroline is a news reporter. Yes, her hours are shitty, but she is just starting out. One day she is going to be a kick ass news anchor. Klaus is a career barista who has been working at a coffee shop for at least five years. How would that work?”

“Wow Elena…” Caroline muttered, amazed at how judgmental her friend could be. Even Bonnie was looking at Elena with a slacked jaw, surprise written over her face. “Tone down the bitchiness a bit.”

“I’m just saying that you could do better.” Elena told her, tossing her a look of sincerity. “I want you to be happy and I don’t want you to end up like you did when Tyler cheated on you.”

“Um, being a barista does not mean that Klaus would cheat on me.” Caroline retorted. She did not even know if Klaus and her would hit it off; or even if she would ask him out. She wanted to and had to admit that Bonnie was right; she should have asked him out ages ago. However, she was terrified that he would say no.

“I think there is someone better out there for you.”

“Elena…please do not say what I think you’re about to say.”

“I think that if you gave Stefan a chance...”

“No!” Caroline all but shouted. By this point Bonnie had her fingers on her forehead as though she was trying to ease away a migraine. “How many times Elena do I have to tell you that I am not interested in Stefan. I do not want to go out with him. It would be like making out with my brother and I’m not George R.R. Martin who gets off on that stuff!”

“Just think about it though!” Elena exclaimed with a dreamy look on her face. “I’m engaged to Damon. Bonnie is with Jeremy and if you and Stefan got together, our circle of friends would be complete. All our kids would be cousins and would grow up together. It would be perfect!”

“Yeah….no.” Caroline just shook her head and shot Bonnie a look. It was clear that Bonnie still had not confided into Elena that she was thinking about ending her relationship with Jeremy. Caroline did not blame her. If it was any indication on how she assumed that Caroline should fall in love with Stefan, it would not go over well. “For the last time, I am not going to pursue a relationship with Stefan. Drop it already.”

“What would you and Klaus even talk about? Like, do you know anything about him?” Elena snapped at her, clearly irritated by Caroline’s response. The latter rolled her eyes but refused to discuss the issue anymore.

“That is the purpose of a date Elena.” Bonnie told her calmly. “To get to know one another. He clearly likes her. He watched her morning shows-“

“He watches my morning show?!” Caroline asked bewildered. “How would you even know that? I’m rarely ever on it and am just a fill in when one of the other reporters can’t work.”

“I popped in here one morning before my early class. You know, the one with professor St. John?”

“The hot British one? The one you want to ‘TA’ for next year?” Caroline asked.

“Yeah. That one.” Bonnie replied, smirking ever so slightly while Elena scowled. “Anyway, I came into a grab coffee to go and it was the 6:00 am news cast, I think. You were doing some story about the kid who got stuck in the toy machine.”

“Quality news there.” Caroline muttered. While she did not mind doing fluff pieces, she had to start somewhere, the only reason she got that piece was because her coworker Andi had to fill in for the star news anchor Cami called in sick. Caroline took over Andi’s piece and she finally got to do a report that wasn’t at 4:00 am.

“Wait. If it was six in the morning, why was a kid stuck in a toy machine?” Elena asked, confused. Caroline knew that Elena did not watch her show, mainly because she was usually at the hospital by that point, so Caroline tried not to take offense, but her irritation was already at an all-time high at that moment.

“It was a small convivence store and the owner couldn’t find a babysitter that day, so she brought the kid into work with her. She thought he was sleeping and when she went to check on him, he was in the claw machine.” Caroline looked back at Bonnie. “Okay, so he watched my show once while opening the store. Does not mean he likes me.”

“The fact that he turned it off the moment you were off screen says differently.” Bonnie smirked. “And he got bright red when he saw me. Had to go in the back. Liv made my mocha for me that morning. It was adorable.”

“Still. Do you honestly think you can be with someone who has no ambition? Five years working in a coffee shop is a long time. Most people we know who have worked here have moved on.” Elena pointed out. Caroline and Bonnie just shared a look. It was true that most people they have seen worked here no longer do and have moved on. Although, they were not particularly close with any of those people either. “Like, what if he is an artist or something and his dream is to become the next Picasso? It would explain why he works in a coffee shop and not something better.”

“Wow Elena, and they call me the judgmental one.” Caroline snapped at her. Caroline wanted to continue on a tirade against Elena, stating that if Klaus did want to become the next Picasso and was working at Compromises in order to make ends meet, it would not stop her from going out with him. However, at that moment Liv, one of the baristas, came up and placed a plate with a few brownies on them.

“Hey guys, Klaus said that these needed to be pulled, they are from yesterday, and instead of tossing them he said to go ahead and bring them up to you guys.” Liv told them in a brisk manner. Liv wasn’t the nicest barista they ever had but she made a mean latte and didn’t question the free things that Caroline tended to get. She minded her own business; her brother Luke was the exact opposite. He also worked at the coffee shop but was nosey and the worst gossip; always gushing about his boyfriend of the minute. Caroline adored him.

“Well that was mighty sweet of Klaus.” Caroline looked toward Elena with a wide smile. “Wouldn’t you say Elena?”

“Liv?” Bonnie ignored Caroline and turned toward the barista. Liv, who had been about to walk away paused. “I was wondering if you could tell me a little about Klaus? Like what is he like to work with? What is he into? Is he single?”

“Why? Going to ask him out?” Liv smirked at her, but her eyes flickered to Caroline. “He is great actually. Flexible and completely understanding that most of us are college students, so he is always willing to switch up the schedule. As far as hobbies, no idea but he loves this place like it was his first born. He is here at four in the morning almost every day. He makes the bake goods from scratch so I guess you could say baking is a hobby-“

“Wait. Why is he here every day so early? And why is he making the schedule? Is he like the manager or something?” Elena butted in, as though Liv was about to make a point for her. Caroline couldn’t help but roll her eyes at her friend. She was at the point that she would ask Klaus out just to spite Elena; ignoring the fluttering feeling she got at the thought of actually going on a date with him.

“I mean, sure. I guess you could say that. He owns the place so, yeah, I would call him our manager.”

“Wait he owns this place?” Elena said. “No. No. The guy in the suit is the owner. I’ve seen him. He pops in every now and then, tells Klaus what to do and then goes in the back to what I’m assuming is his office.”

“Elijah? He is Klaus’s brother, but he isn’t the owner. He comes around from time to time and double checks the books as a favor to Klaus. He is in finance or something, but this place is Klaus’s. He put his blood sweat and tears into the shop.” Liv chuckled. “Although, now that you mention it, Elijah is a tea drinker and Klaus probably does the whole specialty tea thing as a favor Elijah, who hates coffee.”

“Huh. Why would a man who hates coffee open a coffee shop?” Caroline ask in an uppity tone. She turned to Elena, who appeared very annoyed, and gave her perfect pageant smile. “I guess the lifetime barista just got upgraded to small business owner.”

“As for your other question...” Liv chimed in again. Her eyes flickered to Caroline again but turned back to Bonnie. “Klaus is single, but he is desperately hung up on someone. Like, he has it bad. Really bad.” Liv debated with herself. “If she were to ask him out, the answer would most definitely would be yes.”

With that, Liv walked away from the table, leaving the three women staring after her; each with different reaction. Elena appeared irritated while Bonnie was beaming. Caroline was flushed red at the implication and her mind going a mile a minute.

“I’m going to do it.” Caroline decided, standing from the table. Bonnie grinned at her with pride while Elena was trying to tell her it was a bad idea; Caroline ignored her. Instead, she looked over to the coffee bar and saw that Klaus was just wiping down the counter. The shop was slow, and she knew that if she didn’t do it now, she may not have a chance later.

Gathering all her confidence, Caroline strolled over to the counter. Klaus, who was cleaning the espresso machine by the time she reached the counter, perked up at the sight of her. He smiled widely at her and Caroline could not help the fluttering inside her stomach when his dimples became really pronounced.

“Hey Caroline! Another latte?” Klaus asked her and Caroline laughed. She felt her cheeks heat up and it appeared he noticed as well because his smirk just got wider. “I have a new coffee that just came in. It is slightly bolder than you like but trust me, its good.”

“I’m bold….I mean, I like bold coffee.” Caroline mentally cursed herself in embarrassment but pushed forward. “I mean, yes. I never turn down more coffee.” Klaus nodded and she watched him work on making her latte. She had seen him do it a thousand times before, but she let herself watch as he worked, openly admiring him. Part of her wanted him to catch her; just to see that knowing smile on his lips again. When he turned back around and handed the cup to her, it was clear that Klaus knew she was watching. “What, no pet name on the cup?” Klaus laughed and picked up the black marker, writing Sweetheart on the cup. “Much better.”

“Let me know what you think.” Klaus leaned against the counter, waiting for her to take a sip. Caroline locked eyes with him and slowly began drinking the latte. It was bold. Typically, Caroline liked to load her lattes up with sugar and massive amounts of whipped cream, but this had a more a dark taste to it. She wasn’t sure if it was Klaus’s gaze, patiently waiting to her opinion or if it was the coffee itself, but she had never tasted anything better in her life.

“This is really good. You are an artist, but with coffee.” Klaus beamed at her, clearly basking in her praise. Caroline lowered the cup and sat it down on the counter. “I did not just come over here for more coffee.”

“You didn’t?”

“No. I wanted to ask you a question.”

“And that is…”

“Would you like to have dinner? With me? Like maybe Friday?” Klaus’s eyes grew wide and he didn’t respond. Caroline’s courage slowly began to fade as he didn’t answer. Embarrassment crept up on her face and she picked up her cup again; accepting his silence for what it was. Rejection. “Yeah. Okay. I’m just going to go-“

“No! Wait. Yes. I would love to have dinner with you.” Klaus stated quickly, stopping her from leaving. Caroline’s face lit up happily, but Klaus still appeared confused. “Sorry, I just was not expecting you to ask. I was under the impression that you had a boyfriend.”

“What? No. I don’t.” Caroline gave him a confused look. “I’m single. Like, very single. Why did you think I had a boyfriend?” This time it was Klaus’s turn to seem embarrassed. His dimples became very pronounced and he looked at her with puppy dog eyes that made Caroline’s heart melt. “What?”

“Months back, around Christmas, I might have asked your friend, the one with the long brown hair who always is in scrubs, if you were seeing anyone. She said you were dating Steven and that it was getting serious.”

“Elena told you I was dating my step-dad?”

“I really hope he isn’t your step-dad. I mean he could be, I guess. A bit young but you never know.” Caroline was still giving him a confused look. “Anyway, the guy that comes in sometimes with your friend. The one with too much hair gel.”

“Stefan?”

“Yes. Him. That’s his name.”

“Elena told you I was dating Stefan?” Klaus nodded and Caroline gave a humorless laugh. “So, you would have asked me out at Christmas if my friend didn’t say that I was in a relationship that I was not in. Oh, she is dead. So, dead.”

“I take it that you’re not in a relationship.” Caroline shook her head. The humor slipped from Klaus’s face and Caroline could see that Elena was never going to get into Klaus’s good books; and frankly she could not blame him. “Why would your friend lie?”

“Because she is deranged apparently. Doesn’t matter because after today I will have a funeral to arrange.” Caroline smiled at him. “Just so we are clear, I have never dated Stefan and will never date Stefan. He is like my brother and I find the idea of him in a romantic sense appalling.”

“Good to know.” The dimples were back, and Klaus’s gaze were fixated on her; that rush of excitement flood her body again. “Although, I typically do not like burying dead bodies on a first date.” Caroline gave him a confused look but then remembered her comments about Elena and laughed. “I save that for the third date at least.”

“Well, I guess I will have to hold on homicide until the third date then.”

“I suppose you will.”

“Perfect.” They exchanged a look; the two of them smiling like fools. Klaus reached over and took her cup from her hands and picked up the black marker again. He jotted down a few digits onto the cup and handed it back to her.

“Here is my number. Text me and we can set up a time for Friday.” Caroline nodded and took her cup back. Happily drinking down the glorious liquid. She turned to walk away but paused, turning back.

“Klaus.” He was still standing there, clearly anticipating watching her walk away. He raised his eyebrow in question and Caroline could see how happy he was that she had asked him out. “If for some reason you ever need to ask a friend about me, regarding anything. Ask Bonnie.”

“Trust me Sweetheart. I will not be making that same mistake again.” Caroline smiled widely and this time she did walk away; only looking over her shoulder once or twice to see if Klaus was still watching. He was.

It was only eight months later that Klaus did go to Bonnie for advice. This time it was over a special ring that he was looking at purchasing

[elizabethvaughns]

so i've been mulling over this for quite a bit now, so i might as well articulate my thoughts and get them out onto this blog. so i was just thinking: subjectively or objectively, which one is better? the if/then dc preview or the broadway production? long post (1750+ words), so i'm putting a read more break <3

now, objectively at the very least, i know i have to say it's the broadway production. why wouldn't it be? it's a lot more polished, it's...the final draft, of sorts, of the production. we all know the final draft is usually better than the rough draft. but here's the thing. when it comes to an artwork that has several different versions, one tends to gravitate toward the version they saw first and have a certain bias against all the other versions. if you saw the bway version first or the dc version first, you probably like that one more. now i'm not saying this bias is conscious by any means. absolutely not. however, when one falls in love with some media, in my case at least, they take it in over and over and over again. and then they get so used to that one thing that all other versions seem weird. i can pinpoint two non-if/then instances in my life where such a thing happened.

in the summer of 2018, i watched the RENT movie on netflix. now i was fully intending to listen to the obc soundtrack before watching the movie, but i never really got to it. anyways, that movie was like love at first...watch to me. oh man, i loved it so, so much. so i downloaded the soundtrack on my phone and, you guessed it, listened to it over and over and over and over again. one fine day, (about a few weeks after, actually) i realized i never actually had listened to the obc soundtrack. so i did. and it sounded...odd to say the very least. i mean, some of the voices were different, sometimes the lines were changed, all in all, a confusing experience. to say the least, if you asked me back then which version i preferred, i would've readily said the movie version. but now, three years in retrospect, i'm not so sure. the obc version is a lot more...complete, i like the vocals more, and i'm now salty that "christmas bells" as a song was cut. evidently, i like the obc version more(but i still love the movie version hell it's still one of my comfort movies).

in the fall of 2019, i listened to falsettos. i actually listened to both the obc and the 2016 revival cast recordings. i guess that lessened the bias a bit because i was exposed to both versions at about the same time. on the fateful date of 2 october 2019, i watched the falsettos revival proshot. that's when i truly fell in love with this musical. but, even so, my initial exposure was to both recordings so even though i had a slight bias toward the 2016 version, i still loved both of them.

now, back to if/then. i actually find it difficult to pinpoint where exactly my exposure to if/then started. was it the very first time i heard about it in 2018 when i read a very meta RENT fanfic on ff.net where elizabeth made an appearance and i thought "what the fuck"(pun very much intended)"is if/then" (psst if you find the fic could you please drop the link in the replies meta fic isn't really my shit but i want to reread it for nostalgia's sake)? or was it the very first time i listened to the obc recording in 2020? or was it the boot of a broadway production that i first saw on 13 march 2021? whichever one i pick, they all lead to the same conclusion: i naturally gravitated(and sometimes still do) toward the broadway production because it was the first version of if/then that i was exposed to.

now sometime in early april 2021 over my spring break, i watched a recording of the dc production. i knew beforehand that this production is a preview, after which some changes had been made, resulting in the broadway show. since those changes were obviously made to better the production, it would be a logical conclusion that the very presence of those changes entailed a...worse production (not considering the fact that the interpretation and the very liking of art is entirely subjective). one could say i entered the watching experience with an unconscious bias, of sorts.

from the very first note, i was caught off-guard. i didn't know they changed this much. when i watched the bway production, i was just enjoying it for all it was worth. but when i was watching the dc preview, i was comparing it constantly to its broadway counterpart. oh, david's shirt colour is different here. oh, anne's wearing a pantsuit instead of a dress(cute). oh, time for hey kid! oh wait no they put "the moment explodes" right here. also, i was just humming along to the songs, just mouthing along the lyrics(because i have them all memorized), and every now and then and getting thrown way off-track when the tune remained the same but the lyrics changed. most notably, in "walking by a wedding" and "you learn to live without". all in all, i had what one could consider negative opinions about the dc production because of that bias.

but then i watched it second time. a third time. a fourth, fifth, sixth time. and over that time, i fell more and more in love with that production. as i've said before, the interpretation of art is wholly subjective–what one may consider a shortcoming of a particular piece, another may consider a strength. let me take the placement of "the moment explodes", for example. in the dc production, it's before "some other me". therefore, the line "every friend i ever knew or thought i did" doesn't hit as hard because we don't know her situation with lucas yet. even so, "some other me" hits twice as hard because lucas is an even bigger asshole now. in comparison, however, "the moment explodes" is after "some other me" in bway as you all know. so the aforementioned line holds a much greater significance when compared to its dc counterpart. however, one could also consider that line (in the dc production) as a sort of foreshadowing for the reveal in "some other me" of the new normal of beth and lucas's friendship (or the lack thereof).

obviously, some changes were most definitely welcome, "this day" to be more specific. of course, there was that little reprising of "what if?" near the end of "this day" in the dc production which i really loved, but all in all, the mood of "this day" was much more fun and enthusiastic in bway as opposed to dc, which in my opinion is an excellent way to start an act. in contrast, some changes were...not as welcome. i don't know about you, but personally, i really enjoyed two cut scenes from "the story of jane"("no more wasted time" dc version). first, the scene where kate brings her kindergarteners to beth. it was fun to see higgs squirm. second, the scene where elena and beth's interaction parallels beth and stephen's in "map of new york". narrative-wise, i think that it is an incredibly important scene as we get to see two sort of boss-employee relationships mirrored to each other, only beth does it well as a boss (if that makes any sense). we see beth as passionate but still sort of hesitant in mony but she grows to be more self-assured by nmwt, and i think the aforementioned scene only cements that notion as beth takes on the role of mentor for elena. also, "the story of jane" was a really fun song and, as much as i love "no more wasted time", i wish it still contained elements of "story of jane". and while i did enjoy the reshuffling of "the moment explodes" such that it became clear when beth and lucas made up in the bway production, they were ultimately still...not talking during "you learn to live without. as a result, we miss that one scene from the dc production where lucas and kate attend beth's awards ceremony and shoo stephen. and need i talk about the lucas/david duet verse("you get that we're connected, / i feel like you get me") in "ain't no man manhattan"? honestly, i feel like dc anmm was, all in all, better than bway anmm–especially that one verse where lucas sings to this other dude about how everyone is connected(no, not the one to stephen, the one after that. the one that ends with "[something something] / who you helped get elected").

also the situations with stephen and with kate/anne in both timelines were relatively clearer in the dc production. even so, the actual distinguishing of the timelines was better in the bway production.

in conclusion, the relative merit of each production(broadway vs. dc) is really up to the interpretation of each viewer. scenes that may seem weak to one may be considered narratively important to another. both productions have their own merits and flaws.

to me, both productions are equally good. my previous assertion/assumption that the final draft is always better than the first is not necessarily true. some things that you think were actually pretty good get lost in the editing process. some other things that should've been cut (ahem ahem, kate's referrals to lucas with "she", ahem ahem, liz's "i don't believe in independents like i don't believe in bisexuals. pick a side" line) get left in there. art is subjective. the editing process is subjective. in the end, though, the only thing that matters is that you enjoy what you're watching and find personal fulfillment in it. and i do! for both of these productions. for both of the productions, i'm smiling all the way up to "here i go". i'm slightly saddened during "you don't need to love me". i'm empowered by "the story of jane"/"no more wasted time". i'm grinning in liz-verse all the way up to "i hate you". i feel like sobbing during "some other me". my throat clogs up when "i hate you" starts. i'm actually sobbing by the time "you learn to live without" ends.

...you get the gist of it. all in all, both of these productions are phenomenal and i'm grateful for their existence and to have been able to watch them in the year of our lord 2021.

i love this show so much i swear.

i talk a bit more comparing broadway and dc here.

my other ramblings essays:

if/then appreciation

"what if?" vs. "what if?(reprise)"

character analysis of lucas

[snowregent]

I feel like there’s a lot of people that don’t know that much about this version of Elena and I wanted to share a look into who this character is and my own opinions on her and the way I write her on this blog. As a forewarning, this post is rather long. 

“Elena had been like a force of nature: take her or leave her for the passionate, cynical, idealistic, self-centered, generous-to-a-fault, girl that had been her mortal self. A wild tropical storm rising in a millpond. An orchid in a field of daisies; a gryphon in a herd of sheep. Elena had never been like anyone but herself.”

     Elena is the quintessential golden girl, the girl next door. Initially, she can come off as selfish, competitive, proud, and headstrong, however, that does not take away from the fact she can still be considered a good and decent person below the surface-- her general alignment being chaotic good. To this end, she has referred to certain students as ‘minions’ as they would readily do bidding for the most popular girl in the school and had been willing to spread rumors to further her own agendas. That said, Elena also showed a willingness to help her friends and protect others when various threats arose which would see them harmed. Some of Elena’s more positive traits are that she is: outgoing, confident, brave, optimistic, ambitious, loyal, protective, and strong-willed. She is a very good leader and as a result, is good at leading most situations that require solid leadership.

“Noblesse oblige”, Meredith said softly. “If you’re going to be queen of the school, you have to put up with the consequences.”

________________________________________________________

“Somewhere in the middle of it, Elena realized that she was going to be all right. She was herself again, not lost, not a stranger, but Elena Gilbert, the queen of Robert E. Lee.”

     Elena cares about her social status, willing to do research and find out details in order to use them against enemies if need be. At times, this means Elena may be willing to manipulate for what she deems is a greater good or to maintain her social standing, however, in most cases, she still has lines she will not cross to achieve these specific goals. Elena is a girl with a plan for everything, sometimes not as readily willing to accept other's motives as pure unless she knows them well. She is a Queen Bee, bossy at times even giving edicts from the grave. Still, she would never change herself or do something she did not think was right (by her definition of the term).

The girls in the senior class, even the ones that had been nastiest and most spiteful, were crying and holding hands. Girls Elena knew for a fact hated her were sniffling. Suddenly she was everybody’s best friend. 

There were boys crying, too. Shocked, Elena huddled closer to the railing. She couldn’t stop watching, even though it was the most horrible thing she had ever seen. 

Frances Decatur got up, her plain face plainer than ever with grief. “She went out of her way to be nice to me,” she said huskily. “She let me eat lunch with her.” Rubbish, Elena thought. I only spoke to you in the first place because you were useful in finding out information about Stefan. But it was the same with each person who went up to the pulpit; no one could find enough words to praise Elena.

________________________________________________________

“A lot of people weren’t nice to Elena after Halloween,” she said, wiping her eyes and going on. “And I know that hurt her. But Elena was strong. She never changed just to conform to what other people thought she should be. And I respected her for that, so much…” Sue’s voice wobbled. “When I was up for Homecoming Queen, I wanted to be chosen, but I knew I wouldn’t be and that was all right. Because if Robert E. Lee ever had a queen, it was Elena. And I think she always will be now, because that’s how we’ll all remember her. And I think that for years to come the girls who will go to our school might remember her and think about how she stuck by what she thought was right…” This time Sue couldn’t steady her voice and the reverend helped her back to her seat.

     In fact, Elena is intensely protective of her friends and town and will typically not betray a loyalty unless she has been betrayed first. Even then, as seen with Caroline, even though Caroline had stolen her diary, plotted against her, and even tried to turn the town against her and Stefan, Elena still was compassionate toward her and wanted to help her. Another example of Elena's ability to be compassionate can be found in the final book when Elena goes back in time and, knowing what will happen to Vicki, makes the choice to include her within her friend group as the girls get ready for the dance. When she goes back in time, she puts aside her popularity, she has matured and only seeks to make things better for everyone that had been doomed in the original timeline, even if it means she has to give up her connections with them. Elena also always fulfills her obligations, as Stefan has said ‘even to the undead’. She is fully aware of the dangerous game she plays at times, her being very emotion-driven can, at times, lead to her taking action without considering others or the fallout from her decisions. That said, she is usually willing to take responsibility for these actions and choices and she is not above admitting when she is wrong.

“…she had been a different person then. Ice-cold outside, manic inside—or was it the other way around? Still numb from the death of her parents so long ago. Jaded by the world and by anything to do with boys…A princess in an icy tower…with a lust only for conquest, for power…”

     While having been nicknamed “The Ice Princess”, “Ice Queen”, and “Snow Queen” by many, for she sometimes possesses the impression of appearing cold, distant and aloof towards those who do not know her well, as time goes on her character evolves, learning to sacrifice for those she cares about and becoming a warmer and more mature person as Elena and her friends face various trials. She demonstrates a willingness to put her life at risk to protect others though is also, at times, willing to risk the majority to save one. This was seen in the series more than once including when she threatened a guardian (angel) that she would not use her powers to save humanity if they didn’t change her mission (which had been to kill Damon). She is extremely stubborn, so much so that when presented with the doom of those she cared about and her own death, she literally refused it and convinced a guardian to allow her to go back in time and alter the chain of events which led to this, thus changing the entire course of the series and resetting the timeline.

“I’d better stop writing now. Stefan’s leaving, and Matt and Meredith and Alaric and I are going to see him off. I didn’t mean to get so into this; I’ve never kept a journal myself. But I want people to know the truth about Elena. She wasn’t a saint. She wasn’t always sweet and good and honest and agreeable. But she was strong and loving and loyal to her friends, and in the end she did the most unselfish thing anybody could do. Meredith says it means she chose light over darkness. I want people to know that so they’ll always remember. I always will.”

     While Elena has openly admitted at the beginning of the series that she always used boys and treated the opposite sex as if they were prizes and trophies to boost her confidence and self-esteem none of the boys that she has ever encountered, met, or dated (including Matthew Honeycutt) has ever had an enormous, unusual, life-changing or highly influential impact on her the way that Stefan Salvatore, in canon, and in other specifically featured verses on this blog, Archie ( @skeletcnkey ), who has drawn out more of Elena's kinder side, and Kol Mikaelson ( @psychotickol ), who has drawn out more of Elena's true nature and tempted her by her own darker traits, have had. While having developed on her own, it must be acknowledged that, at least in part, Stefan, Archie, and Kol have inspired her to become more open-minded and spiritually awakened.

“I wanted to ask you something and it’s a little embarrassing.  I remember one thing Elena told me, and that was that you used to—well, to take on her discarded boyfriends for a little while, to comfort them, before turning them lose in the world again.  And I was wondering—could you think of me that way?”

Meredith’s eyes flew open and her held breath exploded in laughter.  “You!”

“I fulfill all the requirements, I’m sure.  Low self-esteem.  Can’t sleep, can’t eat.  I think about Elena night and day.  I can’t picture myself—ever—wanting another girl—”

Meredith laughed and laughed and the tension that had been holding her rigid broke.  “All right, all right.  You’re an Elena’s-ex.  Join the very large club.  But what can I do for you?”  

     In respect to Elena's loves both in canon and on this blog, many are driven by a key concept of the novels: THE SOULMATE PRINCIPLE which is an ancient theory frequently used in most of L.J. Smith's trilogies and book series. "It is the theory that two people who are true destined soulmates are connected by a 'silver cord', only visible to the destined soulmates themselves." It does not always mean that your connection to that person will be a romantic one, but could be that of a friend as well. The key point is, they are destined to be a part of your life in some fashion, to challenge you and to impact you in a profound way. Your soulmate can awaken more of yourself through your interactions with them. "Through the silver cord, soulmates can often feel what each other are feeling if the person concentrates through the strength this connection and how long it takes to uncover may vary... Exchanging blood is one way for a person to find out they are soulmates. Soulmates can often enter each other's mind and see their memories, thoughts, and feelings. Thoughts and memories can be blocked, though this takes concentration-- if the concentration lapse during the time that one person is in someone else's mind, the blocks will fall down to allow the other person to see everything. It is the idea that for everyone in the world, there is ONE soulmate who is perfect for them. You don't have to look like your soulmate, act like them, be the same age as them; you don't even have to like them at first, but from the moment you meet them, you know that you'll never be completely happy without them."

“Involuntarily, Stefan glanced up.  Yes, he’d had the strong feeling of her presence here tonight, too.  Elena.  Still scheming from the spirit world.  Elena couldn’t help him any longer with her blood, but that wouldn’t matter to her.  She had three humans that she could still influence, and that was fine.  It wouldn’t matter to her that Meredith got a bit of a shock or that Bonnie might be playing with fire, or even—well, she wouldn’t have done anything to destroy his friendship with Matt, but he hadn’t known that before.”

     All in all, Elena is a complex character who many often misjudge both within the series and by readers. She may not be perfect, is not always agreeable, and she even may not be the character that everyone even roots for right off the bat, but she does evolve. And as it's often said, she is not anyone but herself. She does not apologize for being who she is but she does own up to who she is and the choices she makes. Elena is capable of making the hero’s choice but is not always the hero of the story. Elena knows loss and is challenging and daring and brave. She learns and grows and becomes a woman who can be vain but giving, who can be selfish, at times, but still willing to sacrifice.

[cantenalcoro]

ok i gotta celebrate my own mother’s day in a bit, but one thing i just adore about the movie coco is the presence the mothers have in miguel’s life. culturally, of course, they’re a matriarchy (unlike in america), but all of the mothers directly shape who miguel is as a person.

we don’t see a lot of luisa, but we can gather that a lot of miguel’s sweet and reflective nature comes from her, and it’s evident that she adores him and wants what’s best for him. 

mamá elena and miguel butt heads the most, but that’s because they are both so alike personality-wise. mamá elena is stubborn and adamant in her beliefs, which is how miguel learned those same values (just directed in a different way). mamá elena is strict, yes, but there is never a lack of love or forgiveness from her. mamá elena runs a tight ship because that’s how it has to be to run a family business, but she’s overflowing with affection and adoration for her grandson, no matter what.

god i could talk about miguel and mamá coco for hours... in my portrayal,  mamá coco is the very first person teto comes out to, and that’s rooted in the deep bond these two have for each other in the movie. miguel genuinely loves spending time with mamá coco and he considers her his best friend. and when her memory starts to slip, instead of drawing away or despairing, miguel keeps up his regular routine with her, because he knows that even if she’s confused, she’s still right there with him. miguel has a well of patience and understanding for his mamá coco, and it always makes me weepy to see.

miguel and mamá imelda have such an interesting dynamic to me, because i have to think that miguel expected her to hate him, if not at least dislike him, due to his passion for music. this is disproven very quickly, and even though their conflict drives the first half of the movie, it’s clear that it’s never from a place of anger, just misunderstanding. that moment in the ally... i could talk about that for uh ever, and how it’s the first time these two really connect since meeting, and how it exemplifies that so much of relationships rely on compromise. they think they are on opposite spectrums, but they are probably most alike in their determination and loyalty to their family. we see miguel go from resenting her due to the ban, to genuinely seeing her and admiring her strength and courage, and trying to replicate that with his own actions and fealty to his family. 

[cartoonfangirl1218]

EoA ships fluff headcanons part 3

Who does the puppy dog face? Eleteo: Elena, Elenaaa of Avaalllooor! She’s a master at it and Mateo is helpless to resist. Though it works both ways. Mateo unintentionally leashes his adorable eager and/or disappointed face and Elena can’t help but fall too. Gababel: Isabel does. It’s a flores family thing. Only she doesn’t use it much because Gabe already falls over himself to serve her anyway😄 Estenaomi: I was going to say Esteban, but I can’t see young Esteban as a puppy dog face type. More like he’d try to smolder his way. It doesn’t always work but sometimes it does. Less because of the sexy but because it amuses Naomi so much. Estoma: Doña, only Esteban calls it her “wide eye doe look” that is totally a “see through ploy.” An hour later he is carrying her bags through the Mercado, wondering how the hell it worked on him.

Imitating their parents?

Eleteo: Elena always urges Mateo to join her in singing Dawn of a Brand New Day during the Sunflower Festival as she always saw that as one of *the* romantic moments between her parents. She also continues the tradition of reading bedtime stories and jumping on the bed with her kids and Mateo. Mateo repeats the story of how Rafa met his father by taking Elena on a date to that fateful spot and telling their story which touches Elena’s romantic heart and they muse on  their own love story. Gababel: Gabe takes Isabel to olaball games as that is where his parents spent most of their time with Blanca cheering Roberto on and going out to eat afterwards. So that’s what they do, Gabe tries to impress Isabel with his moves and she ends up joining him in a fun one against one and then they go out to eat. Isabel brings Gabe to all her parents’ favorite date night spots and even arranges an gigantic dinner spread of food that neither of them can finish because they’re so busy talking to one another. Just like her mom and dad’s first date.

Estenaomi: What else do the do but go sailing just as how both Captains met each other followed by several rancorous jigs at the local bar. Of course, Naomi does spin him around a few times (girl’s got muscle) to dip him for a kiss which Esteban finds endearing. And there is chocolate. Lots of chocolate because that had been what Scarlett was transporting when Daniel rescued her ship. All in all a sweet date. Esteban pulls out all the stops just like his father did when wooing his mother with fun bantering sessions and serenading her under her window. Naomi thinks it’s so over the top but at the same time, she loves it and the attention and Esteban has such a nice voice. Estoma: Same as above, Esteban does some of the wooing that Joseligio was so fond of. Like on one date where  Esteban made a rose petal trail leading to all the most romantic spots in the kingdom (you can see where Esteban inherited the flair for the dramatic from) or drawing pictures a la Jack from Titanic. Doña’s parents didn’t have much of a courtship, it was more like meet cute, write letters to each other for a few weeks, then elope and hide until the parental anger dies down. So not many romantic dates but they do write romantic letters especially when Esteban is away on his trips.

What hobby do they try for each other?

Eleteo: Mateo tries to learn how to play guitar. After all he already has a spectacular voice, now he can accompany himself. Besides Elena has such fond memories of learning from her abuelo and her mom and aunt. Admittedly, it is not that easy for him. He can wield his tamborita with amazing grace, the guitar strings not so much. But he considers it a challenge and he keeps trying. Elena has fallen in love with the traditional dances and new modernizations of it that had come up during her 41 years in the amulet and Mateo happily guides her through it, not that she needs much help.   Gababel: Gabe tries to do some inventing himself to see what Isabel gets so hyped about it, and he finds it...confusing. He tried, he really really did, but high school math did not prepare him for those kind of physics at all. Even her suggestion to see it as battle strategy didn’t work. Oh well, it was the effort that counts. Isabel tried some of that guard training Gabe had to go through and surprisingly, she got into it. It was like her inner thrill seeker got released or something because she wanted to do the course again and again. Seeing Isabel rule that course also made Gabe fall a little harder too. Estenaomi: Naomi decided to try out ballroom dancing without Esteban’s help. I mean yes, he taught her how to waltz but she was determined to learn new styles by herself so she could impress him. And impress him she did. After Naomi nearly upstaged him in ballroom dancing and he learned how much work she put into learning it, Esteban decided to try rope tricks as she does. Unfortunately, he grew frustrated the more he did and the more he entangled himself in it even after he requested her help. Estoma: Doña usually read poetry during long rides to other kingdoms and sometimes with nothing to do, she’d read it aloud to him. It began Esteban’s appreciation for it. Especially during the Shuriki era. The meter and lyricism was the closest he could get to hearing music and he would start to ask to borrow her books. Doña tried to do the exploring the jungle that adventurous!Esteban is so fond of, but couldn’t stand it for more than an hour. What do they sometimes walk into?

Eleteo: Sometimes Elena walks in on Mateo napping after reading his spell books too long, reading, or working on some new potion. She has learned not to sneak up on him because that cause explosions but if it’s the former, she is totally prepared to kiss him or play that “Guess who?” Game. Mateo usually walks in on Elena working or singing. And sometimes he just admires her sing for a moment before making his presence known, because she looks so beautiful and carefree. 

Gababel: Gabe walks in on Isabel talking to herself about her inventions, doing her inventions or sometimes rocking on her guitar-accordion and on the latter, like Mateo, Gabe waits to make his presence known because watching Isabel doing her solo is always entertaining. Isabel sometimes walks in on Gabe doing push-ups or some other workout, always a pleasant sight to see😉 Or going over battle strategies though Isabel always reminds him its time to leave work at the barracks, and their room is for them only. Estenaomi: Sometimes walks into the room where Esteban is primping his hair or deep into his moisturizing routine so she jumps at him from behind to startle him. Esteban sometimes walks into Naomi deep in thought and pacing around making plans for the next trip or whatnot and to take from your hc, he asks “Who has won the argument this time?” 😁 Estoma: Like above,  oftentimes she walks in on him in the middle of his skincare routine. Others, it’s that booby trap dance (got to keep sharp yes lol 😆). He usually walks on her primping herself or leftover work of the day.

Who brags about their wedding? Eleteo: Neither. They’re both just thrilled to be married to one another. Plus it’s hard to brag when you know NO ONE will ever have a wedding like theirs. Royalty and magic...so much magic combined. Though Elena might bring it up a bit....after Val’s bragging gets too much. Gababel: Hmm I think Isabel would. Most likely in response to Val or someone. After all the ceremony is second to getting the chance to declare her love for Gabe in front of her family and friends and being blinded together forever. If anything she doesn’t brag but just loves talking about that wonderful day. Estenaomi: Esteban totally Esteban. Even though he doesn’t remember much of it. It’s more like bragging about how great his wife is, not that Naomi minds at all. Estoma: Doña. Though it was a smaller, more refined affair she embellishes some details when recounting it to the nobles who missed the event. A la Rachel Green. “And my veil was lace, made by blind, Belgium nuns.” “Blind?”“Well, not at first, but it was very intricate work and they said even though they lost their sight, it was all worth it.”

Trait they love/hate in the other? Eleteo: Mateo has a love/hate feeling towards Elena’s impulsivity. He loves it because it is so her to get fired up and passionate about something and try to fix it. But as we have seen, her not thinking things through leads to more trouble and though Elena can handle it, he doesn’t particularly like seeing her risk her life and limb like in To Save the Sunbird. Elena likes/dislikes Mateo’s concentration in magic. Like with her impulsivity. It is so him. She wouldn’t change it in the world. But that intensity and focus often derails him from thinking of other things, so caught up is he in his books. Or that he sometimes sets other things aside for his own goals (ahem Scepter of Night) Gababel: Isabel loves/hates Gabe’s protectiveness. She loves it because it’s Gabe. He cares so much, and it does make her feel safe. But when he goes overboard, he goes overboard and is super smothering and for someone who always feels like being treated as the baby she doesn’t appreciate it coming from her husband too. Gabe loves/hates how Isabel analyzes things. He loves to hear her talk about her information and the way her eyes light up. But she too can go overboard with information he doesn’t particularly understand or need to hear at the moment and sometimes she can be a bit oblivious to other people’s disinterest in it. Estenaomi: Esteban loves/hates Naomi’s sarcastic nature. Loves it because it’s hilarious and how else can they participate in their witty banter but at times he dislikes it because sometimes it can hit too close to his insecurities when he’s down and come off as unnecessarily harsh. Naomi loves/hates Esteban’s perfectionism. She can understand at a level like when she is party planning, but when Esteban branches out and refuses to stop what he is doing and chill because this one flower is out of place in the bouquet. Yeah it can get annoying. Not to mention, with the perfectionism comes the snobbishness.  Estoma: Esteban loves/hates Doña’s honesty. Well a majority of the time it’s hate because he doesn’t *need* to hear about his flaws and her nagging at him and what she thinks of a particularly boneheaded action of his. On the other hand, when she does give compliments, he likes that honesty because he knows it genuine and real and she’s not mincing words to placate him. As if she would ever do that. Doña loves/hates how Esteban knows to push her buttons. She hates it because no matter how hard she tries to maintain a poker face or whatever, he knows just what to do or say to get under nerves. On the other hand, it’s sort of endearing that he knows her so well. Things they taught the other?

Eleteo: This is very short and pretty much canon. Magic studies all the dang time, but they always know how to make it fun with each other. Much more hc like would be Elena teaching Mateo how to play guitar and being ever so patient about it with lots of kisses as encouragement. Mateo taught Elena some small recipes that are Rafa specialities and are amazingly delicious and as we all know cooking lessons are very romantic indeed. Gababel: Just like in The Princess Knight, Gabe teaches Isabel to fence, only much more romantic with bunch of flirtations and some innuendo which surprises Gabe since he is so used to her calm that he forgets that Isabel is from the same line of indiscreet Flores. Isabel teaches Gabe how to map things based on the position of the stars which is always useful for days when he is alone on a stakeout and has to make next plans. Estenaomi: Esteban already knew how to sail but Naomi improved his knowledge tenfold with little tips on knots and parts of the ship and ship building and fixing. Even just generally woodwork like how to make those ships in bottles which is super hard and intricate but he also likes the feel of Naomi trying to fix the delicate mistakes and how concentrated she looks. Esteban teaches Naomi classic treasure hunting techniques he used to do with Victor as well as athletic activities like vine swinging. Estoma: Just like with Naomi, Esteban teaches her to dance. She grew up under Shuriki so dancing was not skill set to be encouraged. And well, *clearly* she needs more lessons. It’s better when it’s a partner dance and the other person can stop the unnecessary shimmying.  Doña showed Esteban how to stay on a wild horse. Mainly because he didn’t want to learn the “boringly simple” rope tricks and he was going to do it anyway if she didn’t stop him. So far he’s stayed on for 2 seconds on a fake one. He’s working on it.

Height difference Eleteo: From what I can tell, Eleteo is almost the same height but at times Elena appears shorter than he. So I will go with the idea that Mateo is taller but not by very much and so the two are utterly connected, eye to eye like a symmetrical heart (damn that was sappy. Do you see what Eleteo does to me!). But Mateo also has the magic advantage so when neither of them can get anything, he just levitates up. Gababel: Even as Isabel grows to her full height, Gabe is taller than her no question. Not that either of them minds, it's perfect for them. Isabel adores being able to easy sit in his lap or be picked up in his strong, muscular arms. It makes her feel safe, and admittedly, his muscles may be hard but they are also cuddly. Plus there is something so intimate about going on her tiptoes to reach his lips or being swooped up in his arms. Gabae also likes it for the same reasons. Her in his arms, and admittedly when she does the tiptoe thing he becomes a blushy mess with her small smirk and the way her arms wrap around his neck like he is the only thing in the world she can hold on to and never let go. Estenaomi: Naomi is the shorter one because even young Esteban, he is taller than others like a freaking string bean so Naomi comes up to his nose, which forces her to look up into his eyes which sometimes gets her all blushy because intense Este-smolder. He is a weapon with that smolder. Not that it is all gazing lovingly into his eyes. Esteban can get pretty cocky about it when he is offering to reach things that she can't and she only has to remind him that the taller people are, the harder they fall which usually leads to him unintentionally tripping because he doesn't look where he is going. Estoma: They are at the same height, mainly because Dona wears heels. The few times she doesn't, she comes to his forehead which gives Esteban plenty of chances for those forehead kisses. But when they fight, Esteban would sometimes bring it up (She has this belief that it is bad to fight at a lower level like having to look up to someone) and teasingly ask her if she would like to pause the fight so she can get her heels and be able to glare at his eye-level which only infuriates her more. Who is the obnoxious winner and whose the sore loser?

Eleteo: Neither. I mean I really can’t see Mateo being sore or obnoxious, but Elena... hmm I wouldn’t say obnoxious winner simply because she refuses to admit defeat like in Nothing but the Blaze. She keeps insisting on another round and another round until she wins something, Gababel: Gabe wouldn’t be either. His lesson with El Guapo taught him that much. However Isabel can get pouty and sore if she loses at something that she is genuinely great at like chess or trivia games. Estenaomi: Esteban is both the sore loser and obnoxious winner and Naomi can be an obnoxious winner mainly because of Esteban’s bragging about how we was going to win, and then she does and so she takes the opportunity to rub it in his face. Estoma: Both are both. It’s the reason they don’t have one on one game nights that often. But it’s useful if they want the loser to do a particular chore or errand or something like that.

Favorite date night activity

Eleteo: Dancing, I know it's very very cliche. But they do love to dance together. It has all the pulse and energy and rhythm that Elena thrives on, the intimacy of slow dances where they are able to talk quietly with each other and also the physical touch. Always moving as one. Estenaomi: They enjoy sailing or hiking, something fast paced to get their adrenaline pumping at first. Plus it's an excellent conversation starter. They enjoy making new memories and though it seems like the same old same old, there is always some new hi jinks they get into while they are together and can laugh about it afterwards. Gababel: They would enjoy a quiet dinner and some cuddling as a way of connecting after a long day and so they could pay attention to each other face to face without any fuss. They enough hectic was already, their dates are more to enjoy the other's company and tell about their days. Maybe an archeological dig if they're feeling restless. Estoma: The theater or theatre if we're gonna be fancy about it. They just seem like the type.

Amusement park/modern AU date

Eleteo: Favorite thing to do is the Farris wheel just sitting watching over the horizon and enjoying each other's company, of course Elena is sitting in Mateo's lap by the end. She can't help herself. They also enjoying walking hand in hand at the boardwalk while eating churros from the vendors. Mateo always enjoys watching the street magicians and telling Elena the secret behind their tricks. Elena often tries to pursuade Mateo to show off too but he declines most of the time. The end the night enjoying a nice front row seat to the fireworks and star gazing. Estenaomi: These two are roller coaster maniacs. They try every thriller ride there is too see who can one up each other. They also enjoy the spinning teacups as they used their combined strength to go as fast as they can. Once they're dizzy enough and a bit reluctant to eat they spend their time at the arcade where Esteban tries his strong man routine but Naomi beats him out in throwing balls and water gun shooting. Gababel: Isabel and Gabe spend most of their time in the arcade and street vendors where Gabe tries to use the hammer to get to the top of the bell and win her stuffed animals and food while Isabel uses her smarts to guess the most jellybeans in a jar and of course, in finding the right angle to throw things. For rides the favorite is the carousal while eating cotton candy they got half off from Gabe's mom. Estoma: They spend the whole day at the arcade competing. Honestly, competition is like their default mode with each other. That doesn't mean they also enjoy some walking and funnel cakes as they try to carry their prizes.

[whitewolfofwinterfell]

(2/2) especially given that the first thing i shipped once i knew what shipping was comes from the realm of daytime soaps, where people are betraying and backstabbing each other constantly lol. for me, i think it comes down to framing. if the show frames a pairing as abusive/toxic, i can deal with it a lot better than with fandoms and shows that romanticize it or sweep it under the rug. that, and of course, chemistry, is a big part of the reason i hate ships like c$ but can enjoy a pairing (2/3)

So, Tumblr ate some of your asks again (damn this hellsite lol) but we spoke on PM’s and you explained that in your other asks, you discussed toxic/dark ships, asked me what makes a dark ship work for me and the darkest ship I’ve ever shipped. You also said that some of the toxic ships you like such as Todd/Blaor and Joker/Harley work for you because of the framing of those ships.

I want to start off by saying, thank you so much for this ask. It’s such an interesting topic to discuss and I feel like it’s very relevant in fandom. There’s this hysteria around “abusive”, “toxic” and “dark” ships with people misusing or misunderstanding those words. I briefly discussed this previously in an ask I recieved about Stelena being abusive, which you can read here if you’re interested.

Overall, I think dark ships are brilliant because when they’re done correctly they can be the most intruiging, complex, authentic and gripping relationships in television. There’s no getting around the fact that love is tricky and complicated, and it can lead people down dark paths. Also, everyone has their issues, insecurities and scars, which often bleed into their relationships. So it’s only right that these sort of relationships should be portrayed in the media.

I feel very much the same as you about what makes a dark/toxic ship work for me. It’s all about the way that it’s portrayed and written. I can’t ship a dark or toxic ship when it’s romanticised or when the toxicity is glossed over or ignored, which is the case with ships like Ross/Rachel (Friends), Damon/Elena (The Vampire Diaries), Spike/Buffy (Buffy the Vampire Slayer - although my only qualms with this ship are in season 7, I actually think they were well written in season 6), Edward/Bella (Twlight) and many more. I have a particular issue with this because I think of all the young people that watch or read about these kind of relationships and aspire to have them and it concerns me. In my opinion, nobody should aspire to have a relationship like any of the ones I’ve just named or any other like them. 

Dark ships work for me when they’re authentic and realistic. These types of relationships are intense and passionate, but they’re also exhausting and very detrimental to the people involved. So when I see a ship like this I expect to see that. I expect to see the consequences, to see the people change as a result of the relationship and be pushed to the extremes. I’ve discussed this previously in response to an ask about Delena which you can read here (be warned, it is anti-Delena). In that ask, I use Jax and Tara as an example of a toxic ship that works, and I stand by that. What makes Jax and Tara work so well as a toxic ship is that it’s constantly acknowledged and we see the devastating impact their relationship has on both of them, but Tara in particular. Yet with ships such as Damon/Elena or Emma/Hook, all I ever see is their love being glorified and romanticised. 

I have to admit, I don’t have a tendency to ship dark ships. I’d say the only ships that I have that could fall into this category are Cook/Effy (Skins), Damon/Katherine (The Vampire Diaries), Dexter/Debra (Dexter), Ben/Callum (Eastenders) and Henry/Anne (The Tudors). There may be others, but I can’t think of any off the top of my head. There are different reasons as to why I still ship these couples despite them being dark and/or toxic. I’m going to analyse these ships one by one. Feel free to skip over this, because it’s going to be long and I’m literally just using this as the perfect excuse to talk about some of my favourite ships lol.

Cook and Effy (Skins)

I’ve spoken pretty in-depth about Cook and Effy being toxic and bad for each other previously. However, I’ll do it again because there are little things that I missed from my previous meta. Cook and Effy are toxic for one another at points, and this stems from the fact that as individuals they have a lot of issues and they use each other as a buffer for those issues. The reason they enter into a sexual relationship in season 3 is because they both use sex as way to deal with the disconnect they feel with others, but also because Cook wants to get one over on Freddie and Effy wants to deny her feelings for Freddie. As a result, they both unintentionally hurt each other. Cook knows that Effy is using him, but he allows it to happen which feeds into Effy’s pain about Freddie, whilst simuetanously causing himself pain, because he has genuine feelings for Effy. Their communication throughout season 3 is poor and they’re rarely honest with each other. Cook knows that Effy is in love with Freddie, but neither of them address this and it causes them both a lot of hurt. They also use each other as an escape. They run away together at the end of season 3; Effy to get away from Freddie and Cook because he wants to pursue the fantasy that he and Effy are going to live happily ever after. Although Effy willingly stays with Cook during that time, he does take her away from her home and loved ones and isolates her to an extent, because he wants to pursue this fantasy by any means necessary. He knows Effy doesn’t love him the way he loves her, but he goes into denial because he’d rather live a lie than lose her.

In season 4, when Effy finally admits her feelings for Freddie and gets into a relationship with him, she continues to cause Cook pain because she never validates his love for her. Instead, she ridicules and belittles him for it and downplays their relationship. When he tells her he still loves her, she tells him to piss off and later on she tells him that he was never good for her. Instead of admitting that what they had was real, but that she simply loved Freddie more, she makes Cook feel stupid as though what they had meant nothing. This leads to Cook once again going into denial. When Effy is suffering from mental illness and appears to not remember him, he plays along with her because it enables him to be with her, even if just for a short time.

The reason I’m still able to ship Cook and Effy is because despite the toxicity, there’s an equality present in their relationship. Everything that happens between them is mutual. Cook loves Effy but he never actively manipulates, coerces or pressures her to be with him in any way. In fact, he respects and accepts that she loves Freddie even though it hurts him. Effy hurts Cook by undermining their love, but excluding the one occassion where she tells him to piss off, she respects him and treats him with kindness. Cook and Effy never purposefully hurt each other or try to keep each other harm. The hurt they do cause each other is more an extension of their individual issues which have a knock on effect when it comes to their relationship. It’s not their relationship that’s toxic, it’s them as individuals. But also, the narrative never portrays Cook and Effy as being anything other than they are. We see the detrimental impact of their relationship and we hear Effy admit that they were bad for each other and would’ve never worked.

Damon and Katherine (The Vampire Diaries)

Once again, I have discussed Damon and Katherine’s relationship in-depth over at my writing side-blog, so don’t need to go into too much detail. I don’t think any explanation is needed here as to why Damon and Katherine are toxic. From the moment Katherine meets Damon she uses him for her own amusement, she sleeps with Damon and his brother at the same time without any regard for Damon’s feelings, controls every aspect of their relationship to suit her, fakes her death and lets Damon think she’s dead for over a century, continually plays with Damon’s feelings to get the reaction she wants, is continually dismissive of his love for her and rubs the fact that she loves Stefan in Damon’s face. And that’s just the aspects of their relationship that are toxic from Katherine’s side. Damon’s love for Katherine is so consuming that he goes to terrible lengths to be with her and when she rejects him resorts to violence and cruelty.

But again, the reason I’m able to ship them is because Damon and Katherine opearate on a level playing field. At the start of their relationship when Damon is human, Katherine definitley has an upper hand, but later on it’s tit for tat. They both hurt and manipulate each other, and in fact, they almost thrive on it. It’s part of how they communicate and relate to one another. Over the years, their feelings for each other become so twisted that they can’t express their love in the correct way anymore. Most importantly, just like with Cook and Effy, the narrative never strays from what Damon and Katherine are. They’re not true love, they’re not good for each other, they’re not healthy or a love to aspire to have. They’re profoundly connected and have a dark, twisted and complex history which is underlined with love but that manifests itself in often awful ways.

Dexter and Debra (Dexter)

These two are by far the darkest and most controversial ship I’ve ever shipped. As adopted siblings, there’s an incestious nature to the relationship which immediately creates toxcity in their relationship, but as individuals Dexter and Debra are both really messed up. Dexter is a self-proclaimed psychopath and serial killer, and Debra endures a lot of trauma throughout the series which deeply impacts her. Dexter and Debra have such an unhealthy and co-dependent relationship, it’s actually kinda crazy. Dexter lies to Debra and keeps an entire aspect of himself and his life a secret, he kills for Debra, he fails to validate or understand her feelings for him and he emotionally blackmails her. Debra lies and compromises her entire identity and morals to protect Dexter’s secret of being a serial killer, she murders an innocent woman to protect him and harbours a wanted criminal for him. Dexter and Deb will quite literally do anything to protect each other, but the result is devastating. You only have to watch Deb in season 8 to see just how damaging and toxic her relationship with Dexter is to her. Dexter and her love for him quite literally destroys her.

So it begs the question how and why do I ship these two? Well, the answer is the same as always: because the narrative doesn’t portray them as anything other than exactly what they are. Their relationship and Deb’s feelings for Dexter are completely fucked up and we’re told and shown that repeatedly. They’re not romanticised in any way, if anything they’re written in a way that would make most fans and viewers despise their relationship, particularly the romantic aspect of it. The show is true to them as individual characters and the toxicity of their relationship is authentic and understandable. I’ve briefly spoke about this previously, but Dexter and Debra’s relationship is supposed to be completely messed up because it’s an extension of them. Dexter, in particular, is damaged beyond repair and destroys everything he touches. Debra is part of that. Likewise, her falling for him makes perfect sense in the context of what she endures. Deb is a naturally self-destructive and self-loathing person, and loving Dexter is the biggest act of self-destruction she could ever enter into. In my opinion, of all the dark ships I have, Dexter and Debra are the perfect example of it being done right. They’re so dark and they love each other so much, but every step of the way the toxicity of their relationship is acknowledged and explored properly.

Ben and Callum (Eastenders)

I love Ben and Callum so much, and as far as they’ve come in their relationship, I can’t help but see the toxicity of it. In the beginning, Callum was unsure of his sexuality, was extremely closeted and carried a lot of internalised homophobia and self-hatred. This impacted on his relationship with Ben who had struggled with the same issues and didn’t want to return to that sad, lonely and miserable place. Callum’s relationship with Whitney and inability to admit his feelings for Ben made Ben feel rejected, sidelined and frustrated. At the same time this was going on, Ben’s issues of being afraid to love and let someone in after his ex was murdered, meant that he was unable to be completely open to Callum. By the time Callum was ready to come out and embrace his feelings for Ben, Ben was scared and backed away from Callum. Since the two have entered into a relationship, there’s been so much hurt and so much back and fourth. Ben is so afraid of hurting Callum and bringing harm to him, that he constantly pushes him away. The issue is that whether they’re together or not, Callum and Ben get hurt simply by loving each other. When Ben breaks up with Callum or pushes him away, they’re both heartbroken and long to be together again. But when Ben and Callum are together, their differences causes issues, and Ben’s actions put Callum in awful positions. Callum’s been forced to keep an innocent man’s murder a secret (he wasn’t really dead, but Callum didn’t know that), and now Callum’s been kidnapped and beaten, his life threatened, because of Ben’s actions. Ben has gone to extremes to save Callum including holding a gun to his own dad’s head and threatening to pull the trigger.

Unlike the other ships I’ve already discussed, the reason I’m still able to ship Ben and Callum isn’t because the narrative acknowledges they’re toxic for each other. It does acknowledge it, but the main reason I’m able to ship them is because none of the hurt they bring to each other is ever intentional. The hurt that Callum caused Ben before they were together was something he couldn’t control. He couldn’t force himself to come out and break up with Whitney. He had to come to terms with it in his own time and come out when he was good and ready. Likewise, Ben never intentionally hurts Callum. He does everything he can to protect him. Sure, he makes mistakes in trying to protect him, but all he ever wants is the best for Callum. A lot like Cook and Effy, the toxicity of Ben and Callum’s relationship doesn’t come from their relationship itself, but them as individuals. More specifically, Ben. Ben’s lifestyle, choices and actions have a detrimental impact on him and everyone around him (the mother of his child was also kidnapped not too long ago), including Callum.

Henry/Anne (The Tudors)

These two are a weird pairing to analyse, since they’re technically a real-life historical couple, but I’ll obviously be discussing them purely from a fictional stand-point and how they’re portrayed on The Tudors.

Henry and Anne are toxic as hell. Their relationship develops because Anne’s father uses her as a pawn to seduce Henry for the benefit of his own political career. Henry is also married to Katherine when their romantic relationship develops, so there’s infidelity and lies involved. Henry pursues Anne and although she falls for him, she actually has little agency in the early days. She’s told to entertain Henry and play on his attraction to her by her father, and later on, she has to submit to Henry because he’s the King of England. As the King of England, Henry has more power than any person should ever have and his arrogance and self righteousnous means that he’s more than happy to play on his power and use it to his advantage, even where Anne is concerned.

In the early stages of their relationship, considering the type of person he is, Henry is reasonably generous and gentle when it comes to Anne. He respects her, he listens to her and she has a voice in the relationship to a greater extent than Katherine did. But the moment that Anne challenges him or speaks out of turn, he shuts her down and forecfully reminds her that he’s the one with the power. He tells her to shut up and endure like her betters before her and he threatens her by telling her he can bring her down as quickly as he raised her. When she miscarries, he makes her feel that she’s a failed as a wife, mother and queen. He makes her feel embarassed, ashamed, anxious and unloved; the exact opposite of how she should feel during such a traumatic and painful time. Things only get worse when he proceeds to cheat on her whilst she’s pregnant. And we all know how this relationship ends. There are a lot of toxic ships out there but very few who actually kill their significant other, so Henry and Anne take the top spot for that alone. 

The question arises again, why do I ship this? And it’s because a) they have amazing chemistry b) the ups and downs in the relationship are portrayed fantastically c) you visibly see the downfall of Anne as a result of her love for Henry. Anne is destroyed, both metaphorically and literally, by her relationship with Henry. None of the bad aspects of their relationships are ever masked or ignored, they’re laid bare, but we see that despite how bad they are for each other, they have a deeply intense and passionate love which neither of them can fight against.

So if you’ve read all of that, I guess I’d say that when it comes to dark/toxic ships, they don’t always work for me. I take them on their individual merit. Sometimes they work and other times they don’t. It all depends on how they’re written and portrayed, and how their relationship develops overtime

[downspiral]

damon x katherine!

SEND ME A SHIP AND I’LL RATE IT ! / accepting!!

NOTP | not my cup of tea | indifferent | interesting | cute | nice | i ship it | my OTP | i will go down with this ship | i have some very conflicted fucking feelings okay

I MEAN… it’s tricky. in canon i think ultimately i don’t ship it, largely because my biggest damon ship is damon x health & happiness & emotional stability, and katherine is kind of the opposite of any of those things. more than anything it makes me feel kind of bad for damon because he did genuinely love her more than anything and she mistreated & hurt him worse than anyone else, and unlike with stefan, she showed no remorse for it; even when she finally apologised to him, it was backhanded. likewise with damon, it would’ve been toxic because he hated her so much once the spell broke that he was bitter and vengeful and willing to do virtually anything to hurt her, even when she was dying, and had absolutely nothing tender in his heart left for her; as they were in canon modern day, i just think they were both too proud, bitter, and stubborn to ever give each other another chance. and personally, i kind of like it that way, i think it was a really significant character change for damon when he was able to move on from katherine and didn’t give in the second she changed her tune and offered him some affection. as soon as katherine wasn’t able to play with him any more, she went from flirtatious enigma to downright hostile & cruel to him, which to me speaks volumes about their relationship, considering stefan did the same thing and katherine tried to make him love her regardless. imo katherine, if she loved damon at all, knew & relied on him to be a backup, a love that was unconditional and would always be at her beck and call, which was convenient given her fickle nature, but ultimately she didn’t respect him and i think that cements what is so toxic about it for me and why i don’t particularly ship it.

(deep breath) ALL THAT BEING SAID, i do still like it in some aspects, i think it is kind of poetic and fitting, and i have been known to enjoy toxic fucked up relationships here and there (read: constantly); i liked the initial mirroring that there was with datherine vs stelena, i liked in s1 when damon came clean about his motives and was genuinely not interested in elena/honest about just wanting to see katherine again, and i do think it’s sad how things panned out because the devotion he had to her wasn’t compelled or sired, it was real and passionate and had been that way for over a hundred years.

as for canon divergent & rp verses, miss anna @compaession​ and i have the most wonderful verse where things don’t go awry in 1864, katherine lets damon love her, and if it does reach the stage it did in the future, they give each other a second chance rather than burning their bridge when katherine returns to mystic falls. cue bloodstream by stateless. and in that verse i can both buy & be in love w/ this ship because they Could have been really perfect for eachother and anna had the best theory that damon becoming a vampire could’ve positively affected him like it did with caroline, ridding him of his human insecurity etc, had canon not happened the way it did. so we are changing that. i’ll shut up now this is so long

[muthaz-rapapa]

StarPre: Zodiac Forms

Now that I’ve got the good quality official art, c’mon, did anyone seriously think I would not ramble about the zodiac forms in another long post? :P lol

Crap, I should be studying my Japanese since I’m traveling to Tokyo next week (GONNA GO VISIT THE PRECURE STORE, WOOOOT~!) but I want to get this post out first cuz I know I won’t have time or internet access to do it later.

So let’s do this!

Taurus form – BRAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSSSSS

8D

This one I like best out of Star’s two forms (but Pisces is awesome too!) for that reason but I also love how they changed her short tutu-style skirt into an asymmetric, flowing one. And that cow pattern is to die for~! <3

The butterfly earrings and horns are a very nice touch as well! *chef’s kiss*

Pisces form – I can’t explain why or how Hikaru pulls off the mermaid look so well…but she just does, okay?

Maybe it’s the twintails.

Anyways, super cute! Adding a touch of blue and deep magenta to the overall light pink theme really makes her look more tropical.

Then there are the sea accessories and ugh! Sometimes when I look at this, I’m reminded of Mermaid Melody except the way Star is designed here looks a lot more fun.

Before I get into this, I just want to say that we can now celebrate Lala’s bubble shorts blooming into space dresses! Aaaaaahhh~ <D

Leo form – Y’know when I saw Lala go “RAWR!” in the movie trailer, I was like “This is it, if this is the last thing I see, I’ll be happy I lived”, hahaha!

Lion imagery is just so cool, y’know? (as Gelato can testify)

The wild hair, the crown.

Yeap. This pretty much confirms it. Lala is Space Queen. ;D

Cancer form – I’m simultaneously gushing over her crab hair, how much I love this shade of yellow green and giggling mad that she resembles a jellyfish more than a crustacean. xDD

*sigh* Really, I think Lala’s forms turned out the best. They faithfully captured the aesthetics of the Star Princesses while retaining Milky’s original design and without making it overly gaudy, too.

Lala, you are perfect! <3

Libra form – Normally, I would say that’s too crazy for even crazy magical girl hair but then I remember Felice’s Alexandrite form and how extra that was in all its Mother Nature floral glory…

…and I just shut my trap.

Still, it seems like Libra form had the least effort put into it.

I mean, yea, they moved some colors around (more like seeped the orange into the ombre of Soleil’s hair) and extended the reaches of her dress but it’s practically the same thing save for Libra’s hairdo…which looks more like a wig she put on that anything.

That’s just it. The dual cornucopia there catches your attention right away on how…fake it looks that it’s as if the rest don’t matter as much. Which is sad cuz the Libra Star Princess is perhaps one of the best Star Princesses based on what little personality we did get from each of them. And I just wanted to see something more creative for her form, that’s all. :(

Maybe it’ll look better in motion? We’ll just have to see if that happens in the movie. As of right now, this still picture isn’t really helping my impression of it.

Scorpio form – Much better. Absolutely adore the slimmer cut and my, does Elena look downright gorgeous with a ponytail! <D

I’m always reading about how “full of passion” Scorpios are and while I don’t let those descriptions get in the way of appreciating their characters, have to admit that “passion” was the first word that came to my mind when I saw Soleil in this form.

She literally looks like a goddess of sunsets. Beautiful.

Capricorn form – Still not sure if I’m the type of person who favors something just because I so happen to share a quality or trait with that one certain aspect of a character…

And I freely admit that the Capricorn form is not the best of bunch (though it’s definitely not the worst)…

…but it looks unarguably lovely regardless and I love it with all my heart because me is a Capricorn, after all~ <3

The tiny hearts themselves may be a bit much but it’s part of Capricorn Star Princess’s design so honestly, I have zero problem with it. They’re adorable~

Then I kinda squealed because Selene traded her umbrella/lamp shade skirt for a fancy bed canopy! LOL xDD

But most of all, it’s simply wonderful to see Madoka with wavy hair (AGAIN WITH THE HAIR!). Ooooo, gotta love that transition from light purple to fuchsia! X3

Like I said before, they made the Cures’ respective color schemes and the Star Princesses’ color schemes quite compatible. But that’s a given since they’re within close range of each other anyway.

Sagittarius form – Ok, I may have said Lala’s forms looked the best but I believe the Sagittarius form alone can blow everyone else’s out of the sky.

I mean, look at her! Isn’t she friggin’ STUNNING?!

The long side pony tail (*SCREAMS*), the mature vibe the long gown gives off and most of all, MADOKA HOLDING AN ACTUAL BOW AND ARROW AND LOOKING LIKE A WARRIOR MAIDEN DESCENDING FROM THE HEAVENS TO PURGE THE EVIL FROM THIS WRETCH WORLD!!

HAAAAAA……I dunno why I get so emotional over form changes, I just do.

Alright, first things first. This is not the place for me to spill my grievances about Cosmos in general so rest assured, I won’t do that. But I am allowed to say one thing.

Toei. I don’t understand your incomplete logic.

Cure Cosmos is a rainbow Cure. You either give her all twelve differently colored forms or you give her none at all.

Seriously, it makes no sense that she gets four zodiac forms, leaving the other girls with only two when we could have had:

1) the original starters with three zodiac forms each

2) Cosmos with either twelve (because SHE’S THE CURE OF EFFIN’ RAINBOWS!!) or one exceptionally glorified rainbow super form (with seven cat tails because RAINBOWS!!)

This is less about midseason Cure privilege (which Cosmos has heaps of) or the fact that they won’t be able to fit so many forms in an hour long special (it’s movie budget so piss off!) and more about not doing your math right to get the best, maximum output! xP

*sigh* Ok, petty raging done (for now). Moving along…

Aries form – As some of you may know, I’m not a fan of Cosmos’ rainbow skirt but I find I can easily overlook that (along with the cat ears, the flat top hat décor, the weird braids and the dorito clips) to appreciate the full picture.

And the Aries form may just be my most favorite out of Cosmos’ forms. Since Aries is the ram constellation, the white wool trim looks appropriate, especially against the crimson of her outfit. Frankly, I think Cosmos looks better in this red design than her normal blue-rainbow Cure form.

Then there’s the poofy (kyaa~!) hair that just acts so well as a backdrop to the ram horns.

Mm, yes, definitely my favorite. *nod nod*

Gemini form – Again, where the fuck were you when Met Gala was happening this year?!

Like, this would not only fit right in with the camp theme but could’ve won best dressed that night!

The only thing I’d consider getting rid of is the rainbow but then it’d probably look less campy so maybe not.

Anyways, I was the least fond of this form when I first saw it but the more I look at it, the more I’m learning to like it…??

The red cape (and cherry earrings) provides a sharp contrast to all the green going on, too.

Virgo form – Azure blue complements light pink and white in a very angelic sort of way. Pretty~

Cosmos’ hair also looks delightfully charming when it’s curled and has a flower decoration in it.

…That’s all I have to say, really.

Oh no, wait.

It’s extremely odd to me that Cosmos gets two zodiac forms that correspond to other Cures’ birthday signs and she doesn’t even get the form of her own birthday sign.

Hikaru’s is Aries and Elena’s is Virgo. Look who got those forms.

Yuni’s sign is Libra. That form went to Soleil instead.

…WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?! >:/

Aquarius form – Is it just me or do the rainbow pleats actually work here?

We’re dealing with water and the droplet beads attached to the ends really reminds me of the rain so that’s probably why.

Cosmos’ hair also looks mega good in waves, too.

And the stars~! Exquisite!

On another note, again she always comes as a strange package because if cats in general hate water, then pairing Cosmos up with Aquarius is the biggest mismatch of them all, them both having a blue theme be damned. xD;

~~~~~

*SIGH* Finished!

…Or not. One last thing. There’s always one last thing.

It’s just a real shame that these forms are exclusive to the movie. I mean, I know we all have our opinions on whether or not Form Changes are actually useful in the tv series (I don’t care, I just like looking at them and that’s reason enough for me)…

But the stock footage was severely underwhelming for StarPre so having these in the show may have done some good to alleviate that feeling.

Also, the Zodiac forms have a much closer relation to the space motif than the Twinkle forms do. Seriously, the most noticeable things about the Twinkle forms are the tiaras and it’s weird because we already have the Star Princesses. So WHY do we need to put tiaras on the Cures? They’re not aiming to become princesses themselves, they’re channeling the powers of the stars (aka the Zodiac princesses!) so they should take on appearance respective of the star signs!

Again, I really don’t understand Toei logic.

……AND ONE MORE THING! OMGODD

Is there anyone out there who tried to draw what the first four Cures would look like in the forms that went to Cosmos? And if there is, may I see them? Please, pretty pretty please please please?!?!?

[sulietsexual]

Hey Rachel! Since I always love to hear your thoughts and read your metas I was wondering if you could talk a little about your feelings on Delena and how/why you still ship them despite the terrible things Damon did to Elena's family and friends. All of the characters on TVD are "bad" to an extent but I always felt that Damon's actions were unforgivable from Elena's POV. So how do you think she still managed to love him and be in a relationship with him despite what he did to her loved ones?

Hey Shannen! Always happy to share my (kind of incoherent) thoughts! Okay, so to explain how/why I can ship Delena despite Damon’s actions, I have to go into my general thoughts on human/vampire relationships in fiction. 

The thing is, any human/vampire relationship in fiction will have the human in the relationship overlook and/or forgive violent and upsetting actions on the vampire’s part. Dating vampire is always going to come with some problematic territory because of the nature of the creatures. For example, on BtVS, Buffy has to forgive Angel for his actions as Angelus, which included torturing Giles, trying to kill her friends and succeeding in murdering Jenny Calendar. In the webseries Carmilla Laura Hollis has to forgive Carmilla Karnstein for her actions before she became a force of good, which included aiding in the kidnapping of Laura’s roommate and threatening to murder Laura’s friends, including trading one of Laura’s friends lives for Laura’s. 

So, for me, when it comes to shipping human/vampire relationships, it comes down to what the vampire does directly to the individual. This is why I can ship Angel and Buffy but not Buffy and Spike. Angel - even as Angelus - never does anything to Buffy that truly victimizes or traumatizes her and when they are in a relationship, she has agency and autonomy, whereas with Spike she is abused and manipulated and loses her agency and is thrown under the bus for his redemption. While both vampires have threatened her loved ones and enacted violent acts and tried to end the world, it’s their direct actions towards Buffy which affect my view and feeling about the ship.

So this also applies to Damon and Elena. While Damon has hurt and killed people Elena loves (we’ll come back to this in a moment) he hasn’t actually victimized her directly. Elena has agency with Damon, he doesn’t compel her or coerce her in order to meet his own needs or desires, he doesn’t use the Sire Bond to compel her and she makes her own decisions and choices within the relationship. The one instance where Damon does actually take away her agency is when he feeds her his blood in order to bring her back as a vampire and in this instance it’s easy for me to forgive him because a) he was trying to save her life and b) he instantly regretted his actions and recognized that he had majorly crossed a line and that Elena wouldn’t forgive him and Elena treats him with the anger and contempt which he has earned.

I don’t ship Elena and Damon as a healthy, to-the-end-of-the-world OTP. I don’t even properly ship them, I more just enjoy their dynamic. Theirs is an intense, passionate, at times toxic and unhealthy and deeply soul-connecting love and I just find it really seductive to watch a ship which is so very unhealthy but also obsessive and reckless and deep and involves so much love and desire that they’re barely functional without one another. It’s really fascinating and on some level very endearing that TVD allows Delena to thrive and grow even despite all their dysfunction. It’s allowing us that unrealistic teen fantasy of falling in love so hard and so deep with another person that they become a part of you and you literally can’t live without them. Unhealthy? Absolutely. But that doesn’t make it any less appealing.

So, let’s talk about the two instances which I assume are the ones you find unforgivable (please correct me if I’m wrong) - Caroline’s abuse at Damon’s hands and the incident where he snaps Jeremy’s neck after Katherine rejects him.

I recently wrote a piece about how I believe that Caroline Forbes has the right to hate Damon Salvatore for the rest of her life. And the best thing about TVD with regards to this, is that the show allows this. Caroline was Damon’s victim and the show allows her to not only confront him about the way he victimized her, it allows her to continuously voice her negative feelings towards him and gives her an outlet to channel her trauma into. She is never expected to forgive or even tolerate Damon, even when he’s dating Elena. Caroline always voices her disapproval of Damon and constantly tells Elena that Damon is a horrible person and the narrative doesn’t condemn her for this.

Elena dating someone who victimized her close friend is a little sketchy but a) as I’ve pointed out, the actual victim in this instance is allowed to express her trauma, rage and hatred and is not expected to like, tolerate or forgive her abuser and b) almost everyone on the show has dated/been involved with someone who has grievously harmed someone they care about. Stefan sleeps with Rebekah and Katherine, even though they have both harmed and tried to kill Elena, Caroline sleeps with Klaus even though he murdered Tyler’s mother, Bonnie ends up dating Enzo even though he’s harmed and tried to kill Stefan and Damon, Damon sleeps with Rose even though she kidnapped Elena etc. etc. So long as the victim themselves is given agency and the option to not forgive the person in question, I think - within this Universe - falling for someone who has committed atrocities against loved ones is acceptable and kind of the norm.

Now, Jeremy is a slightly different case because if it weren’t for the Gilbert Ring, I don’t think Elena could have ended up with Damon. Damon got ridiculously lucky with that. I’ve written before why I don’t think this action was about Elena but rather about Katherine and how it also tied into Damon and Jeremy’s conversation about not wanting to feel and how I believe that Damon thought that Jeremy was suicidal. However, if Jeremy hadn’t been brought back to life by that ring, there would have been zero chance for Elena and Damon.

But Jeremy did come back. And that made all the difference because, while Elena was rightly furious with Damon for trying to kill her brother, Jeremy didn’t die permanently at Damon’s hands. He was restored, came back to life and Elena and Damon were (after a long time and with both characters changing) able to reconcile. 

Again, as with Caroline, Jeremy forgives Damon on his own terms. He decides to seek Damon out and reconcile with him, he decides to forge a relationship with Damon and chooses to trust him and view him as a Big Brother type. In fact, Jeremy forgives Damon long before Elena does and not because Damon begs for forgiveness or asks Jeremy to be a part of his life - Jeremy makes this decision of his own volition and in his own time. Again, the actual victim in the scenario is given agency and choice, and therefore I can reconcile with Damon’s actions and with him and Elena being in a relationship down the track.

For me, it’s always about the actual victim. If TVD had made Caroline and Jeremy the ones to “fix” Damon or forced their forgiveness or even made out like they owed Damon anything, I would have had big issues with that. But it didn’t. Instead, TVD allows its victims their agency, allows them to openly hate and distrust their abusers and to grant forgiveness in their own time and, frankly, it’s so refreshing to see.

[shasta627]

Ship Appreciation Week Day 4: OTP ft. Gababel

So I realize Ship Appreciation week on Discord ended a few days ago, but because my profs like to give abundant amounts of homework, I haven’t been able to work on anything fandom related and am just now getting around to posting content. So without further do, here’s my late Valentine’s Day fic (inspired by a discussion I had with my gal @lovelyrugbee) about my favorite ship 😜

~♡~

The first wave of nausea hit before Isabel had even opened her eyes.

Her head was spinning the moment she sat up, and as soon as her feet hit the ground it was a race to the bathroom before her stomach decided to empty the contents of last night's supper out onto the floor. She reached the edge of the bathtub just in time to avoid having to clean up another revolting mess, unlike the first time this had happened.

Once her stomach had stopped flipping and trying to jump out of her throat, Isabel lifted a shaky hand to wipe her mouth, leaning back on the floor and resting her head against the cool wall.

She’d been getting sick like this for nearly a week now. At first she thought it was just a stomach bug, maybe food poisoning at the most, but other than the occasional dizziness, fatigue, and strange aversion to the smell of cheese, she was completely normal.

Well, except for the vomiting almost every morning.  

Isabel squeezed her eyes closed and tried to take a deep breath. Her stomach started turning again, but this time it wasn’t from the nausea. She knew the symptoms all too well, having read so much about them plus watching her sister go through it three times. The dizziness, tiredness, queasiness, late cycle, aching skin… Isabel had it all.

She took another deep breath. In through the nose, out through the mouth, she recited to herself, trying to calm her internal turmoil at the inevitable truth of what she was experiencing.

She tried to convince herself that she wasn’t pregnant. She couldn’t be pregnant. She wasn’t ready to have kids yet. She and Gabe had only been married for one month, and had been taking precautions against this very thing. How could this happen? Why was this happening? And to her, of all people?

Isabel furiously blinked her eyes, turning her gaze towards the ceiling as her hand subconsciously rested on her flat stomach. It wasn't that she didn't want kids, but there were so many things going on in her life, she didn't know if she could handle the responsibility of being a mother on top of it all.

Or if she would even be a good mother.

A small sob escaped Isabel's lips and the tears came soon after, painting her cheeks with wet streaks. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around herself, all her fears of being a parent finally bubbling up and spilling over the edge.

Ask her about the inverse function of the quadratic formula or the angle of the sun during the summer solstice and she could formulate the answer in a heartbeat. But when it came to raising kids? She could read every book on parenting ever written but still not know a clue about how to be a mother. It wasn't a skill she could study; it wasn't a problem she could solve with a little science, math, and ingenuity—and it truly terrified her.

And what would Gabe think?

The thought brought on a whole new onslaught of worries. It was always right after he left for his Captain of the Guard duties that she ended up getting sick, so he still had no clue about her predicament. Would he be disappointed? Happy? They had both agreed on having kids someday, but what was he going to think about having them so soon?

Stop worrying, this is ridiculous! Isabel mentally berated herself, hating at how pitiful and selfish she was acting, but the thought of her pathetic behavior only distressed her more, and she couldn't help but cry harder.

Her emotional breakdown lasted for only a minute before she heard the door to the bedroom open, and then it was only a matter of seconds before Gabe rushed into the bathroom, his expression panicked.

“Isa!” he exclaimed in concern, dropping to the floor beside her. “Isa what's wrong? Are you hurt? What happened?” He ran his hands over her, as though checking for wounds before he noticed the vomit still in the bathtub. “Oh, cariña, are you sick?”

Isabel shook her head no, then nodded, then shook her head again. She swiped furiously at her tears and tried to compose herself. “I'm—I'm fine,” she lied. She wasn't expecting him to find her like this, and wasn't sure if she was ready to tell him. She was still having trouble accepting it all herself.

But of course Gabe could tell something was off with her. He gently tucked her hair behind her ears and brushed away a few remnant tears. “Isa, what's wrong?” His voice still contained a hint of panic. “How sick are you?”

Isabel's stomach was turning with uncertainty. She had to tell him eventually, but was now the time? She evaded the question by asking him one instead. “What're you doing back here? I thought you left for work.”

“I did, but then forgot I was taking some new recruits out on horseback today and came back to our room to get my riding boots and heard you crying. Now Isa, please, what's wrong? Do I need to call a doctor?” He stood up as though he was going to run off and do just that.

Isabel quickly got to her feet and shook her head furiously, which then brought on another wave of nausea. She fell back onto the ground and threw up into the bathtub again, Gabe holding back her hair and gently rubbing her back the whole time. When she was done she gratefully accepted the clean towel he gave her to wipe her face, and then before she could think she blurted out, “I'm pregnant.”

Both of them froze at her words. Isabel bit her lip as she watched his face morph from confusion to pure shock.

“For—for real?” He finally managed to say, his eyes as wide as saucers. “You're, you're…” he trailed off as his eyes landed on her stomach, as though he'd be able to see a baby bump already.

“Yes,” Isabel confirmed, and then burst into tears again.

Gabe looked thoroughly alarmed at her reaction, but gently took her by the arm and led her out of the bathroom and to the edge of their bed. “Hey, hey, what's wrong? Isa, this is….amazing! Why are you upset?”

“Because we're not ready!” she tried to explain, cursing her wayward emotions. “We had a plan! Wait two years then we'd have kids. And this—this isn't going to plan! It's sudden and unpredictable and, and…” Isabel swallowed and took a deep breath, trying to steady her voice. “Gabe...I’m scared. What if I'm a horrible mom?” she admitted, meeting his eyes and revealing to him her most vulnerable fear.

“Isabel…” Gabe began, his voice soft and reassuring. He stepped forward to completely envelope her in his strong, secure arms, and Isabel sank into the hug, burying her face in his chest and squeezing him as tight as she could. She felt him press a kiss onto her hair, and the deep rumble in his chest as he spoke comforted her. “It’s natural to be scared, but don't think for a single moment that you're going to be a horrible mom.”

“But I already am,” she whispered, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. “What kind of mother has an emotional breakdown at the realization that she's pregnant? I should be overjoyed, but I'm not because apparently all I can do is worry about myself!” she quietly sobbed, her voice muffled into Gabe's shirt. Though just saying the words and admitting to him her darkest thoughts offered her a bit of relief from the guilt that had been building up inside her all morning. She just hoped he wouldn't think too ill of her at her divulgence.

Gabe tightened his arms around her and began gently stroking her back. “Mi cielito, that doesn't make you a terrible mother—it makes you human,” Gabe assured, slightly pulling away and tilting her chin up so she could look him in the eye. “It's natural to be scared, but just because you're concerned about yourself and the future doesn't mean you'll love our child any less.”

He smiled widely, his eyes suddenly shining. “Our child,” he repeated softly, cupping her face with his hands. “Our child, Isa, we're—we're going to be parents!”

His excitement was infectious, and Isabel felt some of her apprehensions slowly fade away.

“Yeah, we are,” she quietly agreed. “But...what if something goes wrong with the pregnancy? What if I mess something up? What if—”

Her questions were cut off by Gabe’s lips pressed against her own. When he finally drew away he gently caressed her cheek, his forehead still pressed against hers. “It's okay. I'm scared too,” he told her. “But I promise, we're going to do this together. You won't be alone, mi amada. I'll be with you every step of the way.” He was staring at her with such a tender, affectionate expression, Isabel couldn't help but blush.

“Okay,” she said, more to reassure herself than to him, but he kissed her again anyway, an ardent kiss full of passion and happiness and excitement and every other unspoken emotion the two of them were experiencing.

“I love you,” Gabe whispered once they parted, planting a soft kiss on her cheek. “I love you,” he said again, kissing her nose this time. He proceeded to pepper kisses all across her face, and by the fifth ‘I love you,’ Isabel found herself grinning from ear to ear. Tears still coursed down her cheeks, but now they were from anticipation and happiness rather than just fear.

Gabe was right. She shouldn't worry so much. Sure, they were both scared and new to it all, but they would surely have help from Elena and everyone else to give them support.

They were in this together. Plan or no plan, as long as Gabe was by her side, she realized everything was going to be alright.

~♡~

8 Months Later…

“Twins! Twins! Who would've thought?” Elena quietly exclaimed in amusement as she stood with Mateo by the doorway. Both of them were watching Gabe and Isabel with fond expressions, remembering exactly what it was like to be parents for the first time.

Gabe was curled up next to Isabel on the bed, one arm wrapped around her shoulders while the other cradled a small bundle of blankets to his chest. Isabel was holding a similar bundle as she leaned into her husband's embrace, both of them completely enraptured by their two new baby boys, Dante and Damian.  

Mateo draped his arms around Elena from behind and rested his chin on top of her head, smiling at the happy couple. “If anyone can handle twins, it'll be them,” he reassured her with confidence.

Elena watched as Gabe leaned over to press an affectionate kiss to Isabel's forehead, quietly whispering to her before they shared a teary smile, turning back to gaze at their newborns with looks of pure love and adoration.

“Yeah,” she agreed, leaning back into Mateo's arms with a teary smile of her own. “They're going to be just fine.”

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

In and out (Part 4) (Nathan Drake x Male reader)

Read: Part one  Part two  Part three

Description: There was a deal between Elena and Nathan to make her way to Yemen for managing to get them to the city. But plans don’t go so easily as they should. Well, isn’t that pretty common thing for Nathan & Co.™?

Warnings: None really, just Florence being a goofball and Sully being a lovely fiancé.

A/N (not so typical maybe): I want you to give the feeling of actually reading some book about Uncharted guys, I want to honor it, I want it to be good for you. If you have anything you would like to change, just write it to me. Thank you!

A/N: We’re starting to get somewhere actually and I am happy that we did! We’ll hop on to the actual story in a few next chapters, I promise!  Just hate me like I hate myself. I am just trash for slow burn fics. Again, inspired by Uncharted 4: Nathan Drake playlist on Spotify. And for some better feeling of Sully’s and Flo’s relationship, you can use For Better Or Worse playlist on Spotify. (link here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3q1ZkxeHshhd2M9pKBRc7F)

So Elena couldn’t even make it to Yemen. She was at some time press because of some article she had to write about Bali, so he managed to contact Y/N in Yemen and asked him to watch over the trio while she couldn’t. 

“So, these passes will get you through the most of the checkpoints in the city. Elena said that she makes probably a huge mistake, but still.” Y/N pointed at small plastic cards with their photo on it. Nathan looked at the photo pretty miserable - tired, old and just nasty. And he knew that Elena used that photo exactly because of that. Florence had her museum pass photo there and she actually looked like a nice person, which couldn't be said she was in person. And Sully just looked like... Sully. 

“And I shouldn’t be worried about your bags, don’t I?” Y/N smiled with a playful spark in his eyes, but Florence’s eyes widened. Sully and Nate always brought a small personal gun with them, anywhere and anytime. But her set of knives couldn’t be hidden as easily as a small Parra od revolver. She had a sheat on her back with two of her favorite kukris there and she looked like she committed a sin. 

But Sully smiled at her so she understood that Y/N was only joking. If he wasn't, that wouldn't be only partially fucked up, that would be seriously fucked up. But they managed to walk to the small airport without any checking points or whatsoever.

“So you’re all journalists now, you will have to show some respect for the culture.” Y/N told to all of them over the shoulder and Nate just looked at Sully with a playful smile in his eyes.

“You think you can do that?” Nathan teased Sully openly and he heard the typical chuckle of his. 

“I think he’s talking directly to you, Nate.” Sully smiled a bit, looking at Florence. She has been directly cursing for a few minutes straight. In a low voice, but still.

“What’s the matter?” Y/N asked and Florence looked up as if they caught her doing something seriously nasty. Her hands were on her belt which seemed to not work. 

“I think mine buckle has broken. How am I supposed to walk here now? They’ll most probably set me on fire if they see my underwear, boys.” Flo laughed, still trying to repair the buckle. Nathan laughed then and took down his old, big, Texas buckle and gave it to her to repair her belt. “Respect the culture, understood, Carter?”

“Just don’t talk about burning someone alive or stoning at all, and I will do the rest.” Sully joked alongside Nate and she just laughed. 

“You seem like a bunch of funny people.” Y/N said with a serious tone, actually afraid of the consequences of leaving them all alone in Yemen. They looked like they can manage in hand-to-hand combat but they haven't any notion about the Arabian nor Muslim culture. They’ll most likely get arrested if they stayed there on their own. “Elena didn’t mention that.” 

“Oh, she actually spoke with you... About us?” Nathan started to listen at one moment and looked at Y/N with a curious face. All of them managed to get through a small terminal alongside Y/N, following him. 

Florence didn’t feel safe in there with all of the man judging her by pretty harsh looks. She regretted that she can’t hold Sully’s hand in hers as they continued on their way. They stopped in front of the airport, Y/N looking her directly to the face. 

“Is everything all right, Miss Carter?” He asked, slowly bending to her. Florence slowly took her glasses down and gulped out loud. 

“I’m just afraid of harassment from those men. They watched me like a piece of fucking meat, L/N.” She whispered and at that moment, some switch turned on in Sully, he was immediately ready to punch those guys to the face and say them to leave his fiancé fucking alone.

“I got an idea!” Y/N exclaimed at once and Flo just watched him, holding Sully’s shoulder in her hand, making him stand at one place. “Any of you got any rings?” Y/N looked at all of them and Florence nodded slowly. 

“I have my engagement ring with me.” She laughed quietly and searched for in knapsack to find a little white box. “I don’t like to wear it usually, but I have it with me all the time.” She smiled and Nathan just saw Victor’s face softening at her statement. Nate just turned around and smiled to himself. 

“It’ll help a lot in here, trust me. And you should cover your limbs more, that will help too.” Y/N said kindly and Flo slowly put on her ring again. 

She hadn't wear it in the last few years, because of Sullivan’s disappearance from her life. She got through some things when she was a single lady and she made her mind - even though she loved Sully with everything she got, she didn’t want to get married anymore. She liked the things how they were. Being together, enjoying the life and the time they just laid down on the bed and slept next to one another. What would be that commitment of marriage for? What would a thing like that improve? 

And since he got back to her, she didn't wear the ring, and she was just enjoying that they are actually back together. But it stated something different for Sullivan - it stated that their relationship went back on point zero and that it was so fragile that he could actually just break everything with a single shitty blow of air. 

So seeing that ordinary little ring made from silver in her finger just moved him like a person. It felt like she was committing herself to him a bit more again.

“Hey mate, back to my question.” Nathan interrupted that little intense moment between everyone so they don’t get sentimental too much - he was basically helping Sully to keep his cool image. “Elena Fisher talked about us?” Nathan looked at both of his friends and they looked concerned too. 

“She mentioned your past a bit,” Y/N answered, slowly walking forwards again. 

“What did she tell ya?” Sully asked with raised eyebrows and Y/N smiled at him over his shoulder. “That I should watch your activities. You didn't come to do something shady, don't you?”

“No,” Nate answered and he sounded like a little girl. His voice always started to get higher when he was nervous. Florence punched him to the back, giving that don't you dare to tell him anything look. “We’re here for some historical research.” He looked at Florence and she nodded with a pleased look on her face. 

“So because of that, you needed to make those passes from one day to another, right? They found something new or what’s the big rush?” Y/N grinned Nathan directly to the face. Fisher told him some things about that trio - she, Florence Carter, that little one with ginger hair, was a skilled kukri fighter working in her fiancé’s bar and in the local state museum of New Orleans, directly on the department of Sir Francis Drake. She definitely could say something she shouldn't in front of those two, giving them intel and tips where to go next. 

Nathan Drake was a privateer, private detective, fortune seeker and a treasure hunter with a huge weak spot for the historical artifact and cities - so much, he just destroyed a few of them out of pure passion. Or that was Y/N told. 

Victor Goddamn Sullivan was a name he heard of before. He was a big fish in the business industry circling around artifacts. He sold some very interesting pieces in the past, Y/N was on his auction once and that was a pretty wild and interesting experience for him. He also runs a bar in the New Orleans, which is co-runed by his fiancée too. 

So naturally, Y/N sensed that they aren't in Yemen out of pure adventurous enjoyment or whatever. And Fisher told him she thinks that too. 

“Exactly, because of historical research,” Nathan confirmed in a tight voice, making Flo grinned at his words. 

“So no cursed treasures?” Y/N asked with a playful voice. He was actually pretty curious about what they were after. 

“Nope.”

“No diabolical warlords?”

“No,” Nate exhaled and that was the moment Y/N realized that there’s more into his words. Even though Nathan acted like nothing happened, the man who walked next to him stopped, looking him directly to Nathan’s blue eyes. 

“You are the worst liar I have ever seen.” He laughed and Nathan’s jaw tensed a little bit. Nathan felt trapped at that point and he seriously hated that feeling. 

“So that what she told you about us, isn't it? That we are a bunch of liars and not to trust us a single word, didn’t she?” Nate dropped his bag in a furious reaction to the man’s words. Y/N wanted to say something, but Sully stepped forward.

“Where is our car?” Sully asked, watching the man like a seriously tensed tennis match. He slowly bent for Nathan’s bag and walked back next to Florence. ¨

“That red Jeep out there.” Y/N pointed out with a soft smile. 

“I and Florence will go there with our bags, gentlemen.” Sully gave them space for a little more opened talk, but Flo didn't follow him immediately. “Just try to not catch any more attention, ok?” She asked and then left.  

"Fisher didn't say anything like that, Nathan. I promise." Y/N tried to calm him down, but that only pumped more adrenaline into Nathan's veins.

"Didn't sound like she said something nice, L/N." Nathan fired up and stepped forward so fastly, that an old silver ring just popped from his white t-shirt. Y/N looked directly at it and watched it, it was an old ring scratched on many places with tiny letters on it. It looked very old. And he looked Nathan to the eyes with a smile widening on his lips, without Y/N even knowing about it.

Nathan knew that smile because he got that smile a lot too - Y/N heard the lure of adventure and Nate would bet a hundred bucks that his heart beat faster and heavier.

"So this is why are you here? Does the ring have some links to Sir Francis Drake?" He looked at Nathan a Nate just rolled his eyes over and stepped backward.

"She told you that too?" Nate whispered. What did he know? That he was Elena's legal husband? That they split up? That he was actually fond of seeing her here and even fonder that she actually didn't come? "In fact, my research just showed to be true all along. I just need to continue in the research." Nathan pointed down to the ground as he was getting more and more passionate. "He came here. Drake actually came here four hundred years ago."

"You sound like an obsessed person."

"Hold your horses, cowboy. I can take care of myself, alright?" Nathan answered and he was pretty offended by Y/N's tone. And that little bastard didn't answer, he just looked at Sullivan without a word and it was all that he needed to do to make Nathan grumpy again.

"I just heard that mister Sullivan is a loyal person, Mister Drake. Elena told me that he would go to the end of the world just for you. And I think that you should don't make him." Y/N whispered and looked at Sullivan with Nate following his look with his. He was smoking one of his cigars again, leaning his back next to the spot where was Florence sitting and laughing at some of his jokes with an extremely happy face.

“That’s none of your business,” Nate whispered stubbornly and walked directly to the car. Elena and her doctrines, just making sure that everyone believes her truth. 

“All set?” Sully asked and climbed to the front seat with Florence sitting down behind his back. 

“I would say so,” Nathan answered coldly and sat next to Florence. She hugged his shoulder and smiled at him. 

“It would be nice if you dropped us on the edge of the city...” Sully asked Y/N and he laughed as he climbed on driver’s seat. He started the motor and starting to drive from the airport.

“Not a chance, Mister Sullivan. Fisher said you're my responsibility now.” 

[theglassishalfsomething]

Darcy Interviews Bing: Romance

 1. Do you believe in love at first sight? If so, convince me!

I do believe in it! Proof: a family friend of mine met his wife at a Catholic youth group meeting and told the friend he went with to the gathering as they were leaving that he couldn’t live without her. He just knew. They’ve been married for 30+ years now. 

Look- we’ve talked about this. I don’t believe in relationship at first sight- that’s crazy. And I don’t think that the love is fully formed or mature but I think it’s real, I think it’s love, and I think it can happen at first sight (meeting). 

I’m not saying it’s the only way people fall in love. It’s not the way a lot of people do and that’s totally fine. I also think it’s something that irresponsible people can use as an excuse for irresponsible behavior and it doesn’t justify anything in terms of recklessness or even foolishness. You still have to get to know someone before you commit to dating them, you shouldn’t be reckless. But what’s in your heart, though fragile, undeveloped, “no proof, not much” IS love. That’s what it IS. It’s not something else! 

And in a sense all love is love at first sight. As Christopher Marlowe says, “Who ever loved, that loved not at first sight?” Sometimes it just takes us longer to see it- the first sight happens down the road but it still happens in a moment. I totally get why people love the Darcy/Lizzy love story more than a more conventional love at first sight. I too am probably more moved by “I cannot fix on the hour or the spot or the look or the words that laid the foundation; it is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I’d begun” than “I just knew” but then idk !!! they’re both beautiful!!

I tend to get in fights with people about this and I haven’t yet succeeded in convincing anyone of this and also it doesn’t really matter because I think it’s probably wiser that people don’t go around believing it and being convinced that the cute person you made eye contact with on public transportation is THE ONE and you “just know”. But I just. In my heart of hearts I believe it’s real. 

Matt Damon met his wife at a bar okay!!!! Saw her across the room !!!! and KNEW. I didn’t make that up- that happened to him.

2. If you could spend an hour talking about love with one person, living or dead, who would it be?

Well, in truth I’d talk about it with my family and friends but as I already DO that I’m going to go with Taylor Swift and/or (hopefully and) Jane Austen. I think it would be pretty funny if they were both prosaic about it though. Being an artist and being an explainer/rhetorician aren’t the same thing and I love the idea of both of them being not very eloquent about something they’re so GOOD at talking about in other ways. Like the way you once described Megan Whalen Turner and Adam Driver as discussing their work in the same matter-of-fact, understated, unflowery way. (I think about that a lot.)

This question got away from me. I’d still want to talk to Taylor about it though haha. 

3. Do you think that “opposites attract” is a more consistently true principle of successful romance, or can two similar people work together?

WHAT A GOOD QUESTION AND ONE ON WHICH I HAVE MUSED MUCH SINCE YOU FIRST POSED IT TO ME

I think in the end it comes back to the idea of balance. (#reylo, #willieverstopbeingthemostannoyingaboutthisNO) Romances, friendships, any kind of relationship works great and beautifully when there are complementary differences that create a natural check and balance between two people. We’ve all got to steady each other out you know. But romance especially calls for those differences in temperament and even outlook where faults as much as virtues help keep the other in check/help push the other to grow. Damon is so sarcastic, Elena is so sincere. She grounds him and cuts through his defenses; he draws her out of her seriousness and out of her head and makes her have a little more fun. Ben is contemplative and thoughtful and questioning, Rey reckless, impulsive, and action-driven. He steadies Rey’s unthinking action, she helps shake him out of his inaction. They’re better together. I could go on.

“Opposites attract” has definitely been overblown because I think having the same fundamental priorities and beliefs and values is most important in a marriage- the most important thing let’s be real- and even in terms of interests and outlook similarities are good. But the edge of difference in personality and approach is good- it’s what creates the spark! It’s what makes it work. Thank God (truly) that we aren’t all the same.

4. What is the greatest lie about romance that is widely accepted?

That romantic love can be separated from morality, from charity, and thrive. It can’t. As Lewis says in The Four Loves, “The rebellious slogan 'All for love' is really love's death warrant (date of execution, for the moment, left blank).”

On a (somewhat loosely) connected note, that’s why I side-eye those romances that start out and then continue against the wishes and support of family, friends, a wider community. I don’t want to overstate it! Parents, friends, community can be close-minded, unfair, hateful, wrong etc. FOR SURE. But marriages that start out against everyone else in their circle with no intention or desire for reconciliation, with just the two people involved feeling that “this is us against the world, we can defeat all odds!” are not a good idea. A couple’s reasons for cutting ties and starting out in isolation may be necessary but should never be undertaken lightly or as a matter of course because we all need support. We need each other. 

“We’re In Love And Anyone Who Says We Cannot Do Whatever We Want Because Of That Hates True Love” feels like a default attitude in today’s culture, especially for teenagers, whenever any objections are raised. Objections should be raised. Sit DOWN and be willing to work your way through them and prove that you’ve thought about them and are ready for the risks and the work involved to make this the best thing it can possibly be. Stop being stupid!!! Your love is not the answer to everything!!!!! Your love cannot be your sole guide!!!! 

But I mean, true love that wants the true good can. But that’s different from passion, emotion and it’s not what everyone is operating from you know? We’re messy and human.

5. What do you dream of for your own romantic future, if you do?

Judging by these answers, it seems that I think it’s far too big a risk!!

But I mean, dreaming. Hmm. wow this is making me feel very shy. (Can I lower my font size so it’s like I’m whispering.) I want.............I don’t know. Alright, apart from someone who agreed with me on what was most fundamentally important- faith especially obviously- I’d want to love and be loved very deeply. I want all the things we talk about- friendship, trust, someone who helps me grow, someone who challenges me, someone who loves me a lot whom I loved as much in return. It’s- yeah. This isn’t a good answer but it’s such a hard question. 

6. Is I love you the most romantic thing that can be said, or are there other words you would choose?

you know I think “I love you” IS the most romantic thing !!! !!! Before you asked this I would have thought that I didn’t think that and I do love other verbal ways of expressing love but there is something about the words themselves that get to me. Whenever I hear it onscreen I kind of tear up a little bit. It’s why I always tend to ship canon couples at least a little bit because it’s like “BUT THEY LOVE EACH OTHER”. You know how I feel about Tyler and Caroline which is not much but there’s that one scene where he writes her a letter and it’s like “I will always love you” and i’m like “SHOOT ME I CAN’T TAKE IT.” 

They’re such beautiful words, so straightforward. So ageless. They don’t change! Human beings have been saying them to each other for centuries.

7. How, in this crazy fandom world, do we identify relationships that are ACTUALLY toxic, versus those that are growing/developing/in need of work?

ahem ahem aHEM A relationship isn’t toxic because screenwriters decide to have the characters say it is without backing that up or with writing bad decisions. I’m not bitter I say bitterly with a bitter expression. 

Relationships that are built on nothing but bad things- selfishness, control, abuse, lies- are toxic. Relationships that are separated from the pursuit of the good are toxic. 

That said, and it’s a big “that said”, we’re all broken, we’re all damaged, we’re all wounded and sinful and I believe that things can get better, that people can heal so a lot of rhetoric around this topic strikes me as wrong. Tumblr especially tends to label conflict, challenge, and imperfections as toxicity and it’s just- no. Those are all parts of a healthy relationship in this fallen world. 

Another way of putting it is that I think, in fiction especially, relationships that don’t DEAL with anything, that don’t involve the struggle of communication are not good. Lies and surface-level resolutions aren’t good.

I’m not qualified enough to talk more about it. (I mean it hasn’t stopped me so far but it’s stopping me here.)

8. Is love a choice?

Yes, but you can’t always control how you feel initially. You can always control what you do though, and it’s the doing that’s the most of love. To paraphrase Lewis, the feeling is just the spark that ignited it. 

(*sings* “I can’t decide if it’s a choice, getting swept away”)

9. How do you like your romance, in fiction: full of light and sunshine, warm and constant, or tragically resolute?

All of the above. If I had to choose one I’d say “warm and constant” but all of it absolutely kills me. Screams into the void. 

10. Tell me what kind of man I should marry.

Someone principled, steady, witty, kind. Also someone who’s a good cook and also who likes dogs so that you know they’re real and have at least one fault in your eyes.

[awesome-bamon]

Julie absolutely shit all over Klaroline and it’s fans. She didn’t go for Bamon simply because she is racist AF. I hate Damon so never shipped him with anyone, but honestly any fan free from shipping bias could see that true organic writing would have been developing Bamon. It was there, it felt like a natural progression, the actors wanted it, but Bonnie was never going to get a lead romance because the writers are racist. Fans of TVD and TO know that if a new character is black, they will die.

I mean Candice said that K*aroline wasn’t suppose to happen at first. (Heard that putting Caroline with Enzo might have been planned at some point.)  But, that some of KC interactions with any romantic undertones happened due to the attention and buzz that the ship was getting online.

Plec and Carina for sure had certain times where they tried to use the KC fandom to their advantage to help promote TVD/TO, I’m sure that Plec tweeted about KC twitter trends or whatever buzz that they got online and said just enough to keep them invested.  

Even KC having sex in the forest could have most likely been due to the buzz they got online and JP trying to give them something as an award for their dedication to their ship.  Just like she right out said that the DE rain kiss was a way to reward that fandom.

For a few seasons when Klaus was on TO and Caroline on TVD, Plec did put KC on the back burner because she had SC to focus on.  While she knew that she could still try to fan bait and fan service with Delena.

But, she also knew that KC was also in her back pocket, since she loves to cater to Elena/Caroline’s most popular ships.  Knowing that if she does that those fandoms will give him the praise and validation she is constantly seeking and feel like she deserves from her writing.

Once TVD ended and she couldn’t fan service or fan bait with DE anymore. She pulled KC out of her pocket.  And ever since it was announced that Candice was going to TO.  She and Carina made sure to fan bait/ship bait with all of their promoting of and focus on KC leading up to TO this season,

Even though not everyone ships or agrees with the same Bonnie ship, it is obviously clear on why  Plec embraces catering to each of Caroline/Elena’s most popular ships.  But, never did any of Bonnie’s.  Instead putting her with Jeremy and Enzo the least popular Bonnie ships or the least male characters she was requested to be with.

Elena and Caroline are white, so  Plec eagerly and gladly makes sure to write for their most popular ships, And loves to write for them to be fawned over, adored, and sought after by the most desirable males on the show.   

She loved to make Elena the center of attention and have it written that Elena’s life was so much more valuable and precious than others.  Especially compared to Bonnie’s life.

And Caroline was basically written like a  2nd female lead, with the plots and stories that focused on her.

While Bonnie was treated like she was 2nd class and worthless.  She was kept in a box of always having to sacrifice herself for her white friends,  Constantly dying and suffering for them and putting them above her.  And this was suppose to be an “honorable” characteristic for Bonnie.  As if  we should be okay with this if Plec tried to paint her as being loyal and selfish.  But, it happened so much that it just became a serious flaw in Bonnie’s character.

Not only did Plec just threw Bonnie in half assed written “romances” as a way to shut Bonnie fans up, She treated writing for Bonnie as a whole as some unwanted chore that she was asked to do.  Like someone who does a chore in the laziest, quickest way possible to get it over with and out of the way.

Plec gave Bonnie the least effort that she could and gave her scraps  just to stay that she “wrote something” for Bonnie. Yet, at the same time believed she should get praise as if she wrote ground breaking things for Bonnie.

She had a vendetta inside of her for Kat and resented Bonnie.  And took that resentment out on in her writing for Bonnie.  You could see her dislike for Bonnie come out in the poor way Bonnie was treated.  She also resented the Bonnie fandom for making her face up to her inner racism that she doesn’t want to admit to.

Calling Bonnie fans “rabid” for asking for certain ships.  Even though many time she was just @ about us requesting for her to stop writing Bonnie as the sacrificial lamb, to stop having Bonnie always suffer and go through heart break, and simply for Bonnie to be treated on a more equal level as Caroline/Elena.

But, Plec refused and often doubled down on  Bonnie being willing to die for one of the white characters.  She can try to brush off her getting upset at Bonnie shippers or us being “mean” and therefore according to her rabid over ships.

Yet, the Delena fandom has gone out and sent death threats to Kat, @ Kat about how they hoped she would die.  Harassed and bullied Kat anytime she mentioned Bamon or said something TVD related they didn’t like.

Receipts are out there of them calling Bonnie a N***** and comparing her to a slave.  While saying racist things both out right and coded language.  The Delena fandom has wished for Ian’s wife to miscarry a baby and talked about how they hoped that Somereed’s baby get sick and suffer for Ian/Nikki to watch.

Despite the countless receipts of them bullying, harassing, sending death threats and making racist remarks.  Plec still calls them “passionate” and caters to them.  So, “rabid shippers” isn’t something she truly has a problem with.  It’s giving the black woman character a proper love interest, with a well developed, cared for, fair and equally written story she has a problem with.

Just like many white women she makes herself the victim when she is called out on it.  She herself and others will deny her racist and that her Anti-blackness played a role in how she wrote for Bonnie. Some deny it because she doesn’t come right out and scream racial slurs.

But, some white women tend to show their racism in more subtle, underhanded ways.  Which is clearly the case with Julie Plec.  She does coded language in her writing.

[paganvamp]

Saving Grace: Chapter 1

This is a long chapter, but it’s the setup for Episode 1 of TVD

Disclaimer: I do not own the vampire diaries or any affiliated content

                                            2009 AD: The First Signs

Grace Sinclair woke up with a single, urgent thought on her mind: Elena’s coming back to school today. I have to make sure she’s okay. It was a mantra she repeated to herself all throughout her morning routine, even sloppily hurrying through her signature braid, before tugging on her clothes and grabbing her bag.

“Morning, Gracie!” Her mother chirped as Grace hurtled into the kitchen. When she nearly knocked her youngest sister off the chair in her haste to grab a slice of bread, Aimee gripped the edge of the island counter tightly.

“Woah, Grace, where’s the fire?” At Aimee’s exclamation, both middle-child Chloe and Grace’s father looked up, seemingly equally amused and concerned. 

“Elena,” Grace muttered, far too concerned about her friend to form a complete sentence.

“Elena Gilbert?” While Grace herself was a year older than her three closest friends (Elena Gilbert, Caroline Forbes, and Bonnie Bennett), Chloe was in the same year, and shared several classes with the three girls. Grace nodded, popping her now toasted bread into her mouth and running out the door.

“Sorry, got to go,” she exclaimed around the toast, “I need to make sure she’s okay!”

The kitchen was silent for a few moments as the family listened to the car door slam and Grace pull out of the driveway. Aimee was the one to break it, with a valid concern:

“Did she leave us here?” 

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Grace was antsy, tapping the steering wheel and nervously bobbing her head as she somehow managed to hit every single red light on the way to the school. She was talking to herself, giving herself tips on how to handle the situation.

“Be calm, Grace. Don’t overwhelm her. She hasn’t seen anyone all summer. Just be cool, be reassuring. You’re her friend. She’s way more nervous than you are.” She kept a steady stream of murmured assurances the entire drive, only pausing when she pulled into her designated parking spot. “Okay. Deep breath,” she followed her own advice, breathing in deeply and out slowly, before nodding to herself. “Let’s fucking do this.”

It took her only a few minutes to locate the huddle of cheerleaders where she knew she could find Elena. Only Elena wasn’t there yet. That makes sense. Why would she want to get here early and have to deal with everyone’s shit? She decided to wait with Bonnie and Caroline. As a junior, she normally wouldn’t have been close with the three sophomore girls. Bonnie was actually her distant cousin somehow, but Grace’s parents weren’t the type to stress extended family connections, so the two had only a passion knowledge of each other. And, of course, she’d vaguely known all three of them since she moved in to town, as they were close friends with her neighbor, Matt, but cheerleading had forced them to get to know each other, and they couldn’t help becoming fast friends. Elena’s generosity and warmth had drawn Grace to her immediately, while Bonnie brought a steady, reassuring presence to her life. But it was, surprisingly, the perky yet neurotic Caroline who had become Grace’s closest friend. Caroline’s need for organization and her control-freak tendencies helped to keep Grace grounded and on track, while Grace’s easy-going personality and unconditional support had mediated Caroline’s neuroses. However, this particular morning, Grace was reminded that Caroline wasn’t exactly the most sensitive person – not that Grace was either, but at least she was aware of it – so Grace was sure she and Bonnie would need to be there to ensure she didn’t unintentionally say anything to set Elena off. As Grace came up behind the group, she caught Bonnie’s attention.

“Hey, good morning, Grace!” Bonnie waved, alerting Caroline to Grace’s presence. The other blonde narrowed her eyes at Grace.

“You’re late.” 

“It’s 7:20.”

“We agreed to meet outside the school at 7:15.” Knowing it was futile the argue the point, Grace just nodded and smiled her apology.

“Sorry. Won’t happen tomorrow.” Bonnie had just opened her mouth to say something when Grace spotted Elena approaching, hand in hand with her football-player boyfriend, Matt Donovan. “Elena!” Grace waved, jogging a few feet to meet in the middle. Forgetting all of her previous advice to herself, she placed a comforting hand on Elena’s arm. “Are you okay?” Elena simply blinked at her for a moment before giving that signature smile.

“Of course, I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be okay?” What?

“Well, because-“ but now that she had to think about it, Grace realized she had no idea why she’d believed all morning that Elena was grieving, or that she’d just returned to school even though Grace had seen her in class yesterday. She’d simply woken up knowing that something terrible had happened to her friend and she needed to comfort her. “I… don’t know.” Shaking her head and trying to wave off the concerned looks her four friends were giving her, Grace smiled and shrugged. “I think I just had a super realistic dream and got confused. That ever happen to you?”

“Oh, yeah I’ve done that before!” Matt, the only one in the group she’d been close friends with since childhood, assured her in a tone that suggested he most certainly had not done that before but didn’t want her to feel bad about it.

“Okay, so if we’re going to ignore the fact that you’re being super weird, can we at least go over the plans for tonight?” Caroline cut in. Grace had completely forgotten. The bonfire was tonight. Though, how she had forgotten, she had no idea. It would be Grace’s first party of the year and Caroline was prepared to use violent physical force if she showed any hesitation about showing up.

“Care, I told you. It’s family night, I can’t go.” Elena explained again as patiently as she could. Even Elena had a limit when it came to Caroline. As the three girls began walking toward the school, Matt turned to Grace.

“Hey, are you sure you’re okay? I could drive you to the hos-“ Of course, his go to - ‘I’ll drive you to the hospital’. If Grace seemed anything less than 110% around Matt, he seemed to be transported back to last summer. 

“That’s really sweet Matt, but I promise I’m fine. It was just a weird dream that I couldn’t shake off.” He didn’t seem completely convinced, but he wasn’t the type to push, so he simply nodded towards their friends who, by now, were significantly ahead of them.

“We should catch up, huh?” Giving her shoulder one last reassuring squeeze, Matt led the way towards the school. It really is a shame, Grace thought, that Elena doesn’t love him. Matt was sweet and devoted and probably far too much like Elena, but he was too head over heels to notice she’d been pulling away recently. Grace was quite close with both of them, would probably count Matt among her best friends, so she hated to sit back and watch the obviously doomed relationship run its course, but she had no clue what to do about it, or even if she should. Caroline and Bonnie must have felt the same because none of them had made any mention of it. Whatever. It’s not my business.

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Unsurprisingly, the combined efforts of Caroline’s nagging and Matt and Bonnie’s pleading had convinced Elena to ditch family night (though it was probably mostly due to the nagging). While Matt refused to part with his beloved truck, even for a night, Grace offered to drive Elena, Caroline, and Bonnie to the party, partly to convince Caroline about her enthusiasm for the event and partly to convince herself. Matt wasn’t happy about her driving in the dark, not after her accident last summer, but he could suck it. 

“I don’t think I even knew this was out here.” Grace was awed at the natural clearing that had been turned into a perfect spot for a party, complete with a raging bonfire smack in the middle. Of course, she’d known there were parties out here, but knowing and knowing were two different things. She hadn’t attended any previous parties in the clearing thanks to her and her sisters’ previously packed schedules, not to mention her boyfriend Bryan’s preference for ‘quiet nights in’, as he put it. But Bryan isn’t here, Grace reminded herself harshly.

“You don’t remember having to come out here when the elementary school decided we were all tyrants and needed to ‘clean up the environment’ or whatever bullshit they fed our parents?” Tyler Lockwood inquired as he handed Grace a solo cup filled with surprisingly cheap beer. She blinked in surprise - not at the beer, or the fact Tyler was here, because of course he was. Rather, that he was speaking to her so casually. I don’t think Tyler and I have managed a casual conversation since… well. It didn’t matter. She would rather not think about the last time she and Tyler managed a conversation - or what that conversation had led to. Again, she had to force herself back to the present.

“I moved here when I was eleven, dumbass. I didn’t go to your elementary school.” Matt choked on his beer at the scandalized look on Tyler’s face when the word ‘dumbass’ left Grace’s lips. If he wants to pretend nothing happened, so can I, she told herself. 

“Shit, I totally forgot!” Ben McKittrick interjected, the Senior football player already a little drunk. “You’re, like, from the swamp or something right?”

“I think the word you’re looking for is ‘bayou’, Ben.” As the rest of the football team converged onto the girls, Bonnie rolled her eyes at the apparent stupidity of teenage boys.

“Yeah, I’m from New Orleans.” Grace shrugged, trying to play nonchalant. She always got uncomfortable when people asked about her beloved but rarely mentioned hometown. She still didn’t know how much to mention, how much of their past her parents wanted kept secret.

“How do you go from New Orleans to Mystic Falls, Virginia?” Tyler called as he continued filling cups from the keg for the steady stream of newcomers. Slightly unnerved by his chill demeanor, Grace directed her answer to Ben and the girl currently sitting on his lap - Jessica, maybe, or Janet?

“Uh, my dad transferred jobs. So, you know… we had to come with him.” She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, running her fingers up and down the contours of her braid. It wasn’t technically a lie. Joseph Sinclair had changed jobs; it was just after they’d already gotten to Mystic Falls. But Grace remembered her parents as completely different to the people they presented themselves as in this town. Joseph and Cecile had always cared for their children dearly, but they hadn’t always extended the same courtesy to others. They made enemies, or at least rivals, and kept secrets. They always kept the door at the end of the downstairs hall in their French Quarter home locked, even to Grace. Over the years, Grace had gathered that her parents must have been Wiccans, and someone in the Quarter – a dangerous someone, someone they mockingly called ‘The King’ – hadn’t liked that. Grace’s parents had gotten sloppy in hiding their doings, and the Nine Covens had chased them out, fearing The King’s wrath against them all. She could still remember the night they left as if it were yesterday. 

As they were packing up to leave in the middle of the night, Grace ran out into the courtyard, hoping to spend her last moments in the city in her beloved garden, filled with night-blooming flowers. But there was a man standing on the other side of the wrought iron fence. His mocha-colored skin seemed to glow in the moonlight and Grace could have sworn she saw dark veins under his eyes before she blinked and he was just a normal man, staring at her as if she wasn’t supposed to be there, even though it was her house.

“Hello there,” he said softly. His voice was gravelly, more comforting than she would have expected. “What’s your name?”

“Grace. Grace Sinclair.” Her mother would have had a fit if she knew Grace had told her name to a strange man standing outside their house, but he didn’t seem scary. Something told Grace he wasn’t going to hurt her. 

“What are you doing up so late, Grace Sinclair?” 

“My parents are making us move.” Grace was perfectly aware 11 was too old for the undignified sulking she was currently displaying, but she couldn’t help it. New Orleans was her lifeblood, the soul of the city thrumming in time with her heartbeat. She didn’t want to leave, even though her parents told her it wasn’t safe anymore. “It was my job to pack for my sisters and I, but…” she trailed her fingertips over the petals of the flowers nearest her, a mixed bed of moonflowers and night gladiolus. “It’s so beautiful here.” Her voice was quiet, more for herself than him, and Grace didn’t expect that he even heard her. But he had.

“I agree. This city is certainly… something else.” Grace smiled at him, glad to have found a kindred spirit, even if it this strange man’s opinion on the city wouldn’t change her parent’s minds. “You mentioned you have sisters?”

“Two of them,” she nodded, again giving him more information than probably advisable, “Chloe and Aimee. They’re younger than me.” Upon hearing this news, something seemed to shift in the man’s expression, though Grace couldn’t say what it was. “They won’t even tell us why we have to leave! And where are we supposed to go? They never see any of our other family!” Grace shook her head stubbornly. “I won’t go.” He stared at her for several long moments, his gaze flickering to the house behind her a few times before returning to her; he appeared to be indecisive about something. Finally, the man reached into the pocket of his suede coat and his hand reemerged, clasped around a small metal object.

“Come over here, Grace.” A part of her knew walking closer to this strange man was not a clever idea, but again that voice inside told her he wasn’t going to hurt her. When she was within an arm’s reach of him, just on the other side of the fence, he leaned down so they were eye level. His eyes were captivating. The deepest brown, like freshly churned soil, and deep set into a face she could now see was quite handsome. Grace found she couldn’t look away from those eyes, didn’t want to. “This is a ring made of a stone called jet. Have you heard of it?” She nodded vaguely, barely glancing at the ring he now held out to show her. It was quite pretty, seemingly naturally forming a rough teardrop shape. But his eyes demanded her attention. “Jet will protect anyone who wears it from anybody who tries to hurt them.” He looked at her even more intensely now, his eyes dilating slightly before returning to normal, despite there being no change in the light. “You’re going to take this ring, Grace. You’re going to wear it or keep it with you, and you’re going to tell your parents you’ve decided you do want to move.”

“I’m going to take the ring.” She assured him. She would do whatever he wanted her to, this captivating man who would never hurt her. “And I’m going to tell my parents I want to move.”

“You’re going to tell your parents that you want to go find family, have relationships with them that you couldn’t before.” Grace distantly remembered her parents mentioning a set of cousins, originating from some extended relative somewhere in Salem… maybe they could live with them? “Do you understand that Grace?”

“I’m going to tell my parents that I want to see my family.”

“And you’re not going to tell anyone that you saw me tonight, Grace.”

“I won’t tell anyone.” She swore. He finally broke their intense stare down, leaving Grace feeling a bit bereft. He reached through the rods of the fence, his much bigger hand wrapping around hers and plopping a silver and black ring into her palm - the jet was cased in the center in a rather masculine style, silver fleur-de-lis forming the shoulders off the center stone. It was clearly made for a man, but Grace found it beautiful.

“Gracie!” Aimee called out from somewhere in the house. “Gracie, come inside!” Grace knew the stress was getting to them all, that little Aimee was trying her hardest to keep her tone light and carefree. She turned her head to make sure Aimee wasn’t at the window, wouldn’t see her talking to the stranger. But when she turned her head back, he had vanished. 

“Earth to Sinclair! You still in there?” Matt was in front of her, waving his hand in her face.

“What?”

“You just totally spaced out.” Caroline explained. “We thought you were having a stroke.”

“No one thought you were having a stroke.” Bonnie rolled her eyes fondly. “But you were off in your head. Is something wrong?” Grace twirled the mysteriously gifted silver-set jet ring, just small enough to fit on her left thumb. Another jet ring she’d bought for herself, this one not natural but princess cut and set in a thin gold band, flared bright on her right hand in the light of the fire.

“Yeah. Just worrying about a history test.” Jessica-or-Janet, another Junior in Grace’s history class, groaned loudly from her perch in Ben’s lap.

“Please don’t mention that damned test. I just want to have fun tonight!”

“Amen to that!” Grace laughed, raising her beer in the air as if she were toasting the sentiment. Finally moving from her spot on the perimeter of the clearing, she led the way towards the fire with Caroline and Bonnie trailing behind. 

None of them noticed Matt pull Elena aside.

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Grace was the designated driver for the night - and had been every night since her accident - so she nursed her single, watery beer for the next several hours. Bonnie and Caroline did not have the same hesitations. As the keg got emptier, the clearing got louder, and soon Grace could hardly hear herself think over the music, laughter, and drunken, too-loud conversations of her peers. She watched, amused, as Caroline stumbled over to her on cute, but ill-advised heeled boots. 

“Have I tol’ you how much I love your hair?” She slurred with a smile.

“It’s exactly the same as yours, Care Bear.” Before Grace could even finish her protestation, Caroline was waggling her finger and scowling as if arguing a particularly important topic.

“No. No, i’z not! Tizz longer, and ‘s lighter, and i’z very, very thick!” Somehow managing to mispronounce a word three separate ways in one sentence was a new personal record for Caroline. But Grace knew from experience that, when drunk, Affectionate Caroline was very closely followed by Crying Caroline, so she set her own beer on a tree stump next to her and gently tried to pry the red plastic cup out of Caroline’s hand. “Get your own!” But Care’s reflexes were much slower, and by the time she tried to yank the cup away, Grace already had it in hand.

“I think you’ve had enough for tonight, Care.”

“But-“

“How about I undo my braid and you can style my hair?” Pleased with that trade off, Caroline clapped and giggled in excitement, nearly bouncing up and down while waiting for Grace to carefully separate the two braids running down the right side of her head.

“You look like a Viking when you do it like that.” Bonnie’s speech was significantly more stable than Caroline’s, but her gait was far from graceful.

“That’s the idea.” Grace muttered. Caroline was right, Grace’s hair was exceptionally long and thick, and to keep it manageable she wore it in some kind of braid nearly every day. She tried to change it up a bit, switching from a French braid to fishtail, twin braids to crowns to plaits, but her favorites were inspired by her mother’s Nordic heritage – half-head braids and the traditional ‘Viking braid’ especially. Having finally unwound the two thin, vertical snake braids that made up today’s look, Grace shook out her hair for a moment before moving her and Caroline’s discarded beers to the ground and sitting on the tree stump, a perfect height to be her friend’s Barbie doll for the night. 

“Where did you get your hair?” Bonnie asked, unprompted.

“I was born with it?” Grace’s confused response came out sounding more like a question.

“No, I know that”, Bonnie rolled her eyes. “I meant, like, genetically. We might be third cousins or whatever, but your dad still gets his hair from my side of the family.” That was true. Joseph Sinclair’s hair was thick and mahogany brown, very unlike Grace’s. “And your mom is blonde, but her hair is like…” Bonnie paused for a moment, alcohol dulling her ability to find the right word. “Thin. Her hair is thin, and her and Chloe’s hair is browner than yours.” That was also true. Grace’s younger sister could have been a carbon copy of Cecile 20 years ago, both of them with dark blonde hair and brown eyes. Aimee, two years younger than Grace, looked the most like their father, whose own mother had been the white bartender at the bar frequented by Edward Sinclair - Joseph had been raised by his mother and though that could not possibly have changed his physical appearance, he certainly looked more like her. His own children, had they been lined up in order, would have looked like a printer being re-filled with ink - Grace, pale, platinum haired, and as Swedish-looking as her mother’s ancestors; Chloe, dishwater blonde and American as apple pie; and Aimee, whose brown hair and broad features echoed their father’s. 

“Who knows?” Grace shrugged, not that concerned with the origins of her hair color. “Maybe some long-ago ancestor had white-blonde hair or something.” Caroline had managed to pull together one decent braid down the left side of Grace’s back and was moving to the right half when a bit of a commotion caught their attention.

“Seriously?” Matt cried from somewhere deeper into the woods. Elena stomped into the clearing, beelining directly for their tree stump.

“I’m going home.” She muttered, seeming more exhausted than angry.

“Okay, yeah, let me just-“

“No, stay, Grace. I’ll call my parents. Give us a chance to do family night, anyway.” She smiled wryly.

“Are you sure?” Grace was already starting to stand when Elena gently pushed her back down.

“Yes. Stay. Have fun. I’m not ruining three peoples’ night just because I fought with my boyfriend.” Grace started to speak again, to ask about the fight and make sure Elena was okay, when she barreled on. “Besides, you look like an idiot with only half your hair braided. I couldn’t risk being seen with you.” Laughing through her fake indignation, Grace and the girls waved goodbye to Elena and promised to talk more tomorrow, when Caroline would no doubt give her the third degree and analyze every second of whatever happened between her and Matt. Grace watched Elena walk towards the road and pull out her phone, putting it to her ear, before the distance and the lack of light became too much and she was lost to the night. Assured that Elena would soon be safely headed home, Grace turned back to her friends.

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Despite having little to no alcohol in her system, Grace had been convinced by both Caroline and Bonnie to stay until they were almost the last people in the clearing.

“Come on, you two.” Grace sighed, attempting to guide both Caroline and Bonnie towards her waiting BMW. She vaguely wondered if Matt had gotten home alright, since she had only glimpsed him once since Elena’s departure and it was at the keg. But then Caroline tripped over her own foot and Grace lurched forward to grab the usually graceful girl before she face-planted. Caroline thought the whole thing was hilarious, and Bonnie for some reason thought it would be a good idea to mock her friend, and Grace had to catch her as well - but somehow Grace finally managed to get them both in the car and buckled, though not completely cognizant or upright, before heading home. Thank fuck Caroline is staying the night with me. If the Sheriff caught her daughter acting completely sloshed and sneaking in way past curfew, she might very well ship Caroline off to live with her father. Or in a nunnery. Who knew with Liz Forbes? Wanting to avoid taking the nearer Wickery Bridge, as even before the Worst Night of her Life bridges had seemed shady in Grace’s opinion, she took the longer, more sensible route back into town. If only I had been driving that night… but with Caroline and Bonnie drunkenly arguing in the backseat, now was not the time to be thinking about the accident.

Both girls were asleep by the time Grace got home, but she was able to rouse Bonnie enough for them to half-carry Caroline inside and up to Grace’s bedroom, where they deposited her on the bed unceremoniously. 

“I’m getting water and Aspirin for tomorrow. Try to make sure she doesn’t die while I’m gone, yeah?” Bonnie drunkenly waved off Grace’s request but sat down next to Caroline’s prone form anyway.

When her two charges were taken care of, Grace took up Bonnie’s position next to Caroline while Bonnie curled up on the bench at the foot of the bed. Not wonderful sleeping conditions, but no one really cared.

“G’night Gracie.” Bonnie mumbled. Caroline snored in response, but Grace was asleep before any other comment was made.

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At 10:30 the next morning, all three girls stumbled into the kitchen to begin their attempt at pretending they hadn’t broken the law right under their parents’ noses last night. Cecile was making bacon and eggs and Joseph had coffee and Bonnie’s favorite creamer ready to go. The TV in the corner was on, beginning the 11:00 news as everyone dug into their food.

“…A fatal accident last night on Wickery Bridge has left two local teens grieving-“ Every head popped up and focused on the television with laser precision. Dread settled in Grace’s stomach as déjà vu began to creep over her. “…Grayson Gilbert was driving last night with his wife Miranda and daughter Elena, a sophomore at Mystic Falls High School, when he lost control of the car and drove off Wickery Bridge.” Horrified silence filled the room. Someone dropped their fork. The clatter of metal against ceramic seemed entirely too loud. “Miraculously, Elena Gilbert managed to escape the car and swim to the riverbank, where police say she fell unconscious. Grayson and Miranda were, unfortunately, trapped in the car as it sank. The two locals leave behind 16-year old Elena and a son, 15-year old Jeremy Gilbert.”

“Oh my God.” Bonnie whispered. Aimee and Chloe covered their mouths, shocked and speechless.

“My mom.” Caroline croaked. “I have to talk to my mom.” As the Sheriff, Liz Forbes likely would have seen Elena and Jeremy by now and would certainly have more information. Joseph seemed stunned but nodded vaguely. 

“I’ll drive you. Bonnie, is there…?” He trailed off, not quite knowing what he was asking. She nodded anyway.

“I’d like to come if that’s okay. I want to ask if we can see Elena.” The trio filed outside, unnaturally stiff and quiet. 

“I’m… I’m gonna see if anyone else knows anything.” Aimee murmured, her and Chloe walking out of the kitchen holding on to each other as if that would rewind the last 12 hours. The kitchen was silent again, the only sound the droning of the news, which had moved on to the weather. As they heard Grace’s father’s car drive away, Cecile spoke.

“You said something happened to Elena.” The words were almost too quiet to hear, would have been if anyone had been moving.

“What?” Grace now noticed that her cheeks were wet, throat tight with a million questions no one could answer. That goddamn bridge… why is it always that goddamn bridge?

“Yesterday morning.” Her mother repeated, a bit louder. “You said you needed to get to school because something bad had happened to Elena and you wanted to make sure she was okay.”

“Yeah, but nothing had happened. I just had a bad dream.” Grace’s mind was sluggish, not connecting the dots.

“Did you? Or did you know that something bad was going to happen to your friend?” Grace’s gaze slowly moved from the TV to her mother’s face, which was attempting to communicate a message Grace didn’t want to understand. Because her mother was right. Now that the dreadful thing had happened, Grace could clearly remember the dream she’d had that caused her to worry the previous morning. It was the first day of Grace’s senior year and hardly anyone had seen Elena or Jeremy all summer as they dealt with the fallout of their parents’ car driving over the Wickery Bridge. Grace had just wanted to make sure Elena was doing okay, or as well as could be expected. 

“Holy shit.”

[salemspoint-blog]

❝ If socrates can make a career out of telling people that they’re stupid then so can I. ❞

» Jeremiah Ainsworth » Thirty-one (900+) » Vampire » Lawyer » DJ Cotrona

Physical Appearance —

Jeremiah tends to be well dressed all the time. When he is working he is always dressed professional and is in a suit, he prepares himself well for his days when he is in the firm and when he is in Court. He takes pride in how he dresses but isn’t really a huge fan of it. Which is why he tends to be himself when he is working the farm in jeans and a simple shirt. His movenments are delivered with full confidence and no second guessing is ever done. He never gives too much of himself to anyone else and just reacts to them. Mostly he does his best just to irk other people, pushing buttons is a hobby of his. He can be diplomatic if he has to be but tends to avoid that most of the time. He says what he means all the time unless there is something else that is more valeuable.

Personality Traits —

♦ Loyal, authenticity and conscientiousness ♢ Callous, machiavellian and secretive

Biography —

Even angels have their demons that had been what Jeremiah’s mother had always told him. It was a justification for their father’s cold nature – something to make Jeremiah not hate him. All the daddy issues managed to fall onto his older brother and younger sister. Jeremiah never really cared for the man. All he knew was that he had a duty to be there for his parents. To provide for them because their father lacked in that department. Jeremiah grew up with the idea that he had a father but never really saw that being played out. His father would come and go on trips that were supposedly important. Their father was obsessed with raising their social standards – to right the wrong that had once occurred to their family decades ago when the ruling family had been the Ainsworth in town till his father’s older brother was murdered by the current family in place. Jeremiah’s siblings always felt like they had been robbed of their lives – Jeremiah didn’t mind being dirt poor. He enjoyed working the land and being able to read instead of attending governmental meetings with idiots that thought they knew what they were doing. His father had always hoped that Jeremiah and his brother would take back the family’s rightful place but realized with time that Jeremiah didn’t care nor have the passion for it.

In the start, Jeremiah and his siblings were close as thieves. They worked the farm together during the day and would go out at night to run the town. Jeremiah looked up to his brother – he wanted to be just like him when he was younger. Those were the simpler times. His sister coming along was the best thing to ever happen to the family. She brought the grace and delicate element that the Ainsworth family lacked. Then things started to change when they entered their teenage years. Where Jeremiah proved that he had no intention of turning the town that he had grown up upside down just to create a power change. His brother, on the other hand, had a different plan. Jeremiah had thought that perhaps with time his brother would see reason and join him with just letting go of this family feud when he went off to law school. His sister was under his wing and he always took care of her. Jeremiah always provided safety for his family in ways that didn’t require another war.

He should’ve known that he was going to fail when he started to fall in love with Isabella, the daughter of his father’s enemy. The two had hated each other – they had been taught to hate each other. Then just like that, they started to both realize neither of them really disliked each other. The two would constantly bicker and neither thought it would become nothing more than a friendship – but the more time they spent the more they realized they bother shared the same dreams. Dreams of getting out of town and traveling the world. Getting the chance to see everything and help those that needed the help. Isabella wanted to be a teacher and Jeremiah had wanted to just farm a land and be able to feel the poor without the skyrocket taxes. Isabella’s father had nothing against Jeremiah, instead saw him as a wild card that he could use against his arch enemy, Jeremiah’s father. Jeremiah wasn’t an idiot he knew the political plays that would come out if he did go public with Isabella, so he denied her this. Instead, he publically broke up with her in front of the entire town. That was the first time that he was able to see a preview of how cruel he could be.

For years both of them kept their friendship hidden from everywhere. The woman told Jeremiah she couldn’t be in a secret relationship. Though both knew they couldn’t be together it didn’t stop the feelings from being there. Jeremiah was devoted to Isabella completely – even when other females tried they never came close to her. Isabella ended up putting her dream of being a teacher on hold and stayed in town for Jeremiah. Jeremiah started to push the political ladder as a local politican – his community started to stand behind him. The Ainsworth farm became successful and his relationship with his parents – including his father – improved. His sister was in love and was going to marry above as well. The Ainsworth family started to have a meaning once again and it was not some pitiful family or a reminder of what they had once been. His older brother ended up coming back in town and enjoyed the changes. He was proud that Jeremiah had seen the light and was devoted to moving up the social ladder. What he didn’t know – what no one knew – was that Jeremiah was doing this with the sole purpose to marry Isabella. The change was slow though – too slow for their older brother and what Jeremiah didn’t know was that his brother had died.

The man that had come back was a vampire. The supernatural was not something that Jeremiah had ever wanted to join. Even when his brother stood in front of him and demonstrated him all his new abilities and the new concept of living forever, didn’t interest him. Jeremiah refused his brother’s offer and told him that he was not his brother anymore. The man took him off his life. Jeremiah then proceeded to propose to Isabella and planning a life away from this entire town and its madness. Oh if only it would’ve ended there because what happened next ended up changing the man that Jeremiah became. His brother took their younger sister and turned her. His older brother could be an amazing manipulative son of a bitch – not to mention that their relationship of siblings had always been twisted. The next memory that Jeremiah had was waking up in a blood pool of his parents. His first visage composed of siblings standing tall in front of him as he pushed himself up the ground holding Isabella. They had managed to find the letters that the two had written to each other.

Jeremiah ended up getting his nightmare served to him – he didn’t end up taking over the town. Nor made any political moves. No – Jeremiah ended up becoming his brother’s slave. He was turned and completely sired to his brother from the start. Isabella was kept as a good faith bargaining chip. The three ended up taking over the town and Jeremiah ended up as the victor with everything being his. His sister was fiercely loyal to their brother, even when their brother was abusive towards her. Jeremiah’s learned to resent his siblings making them completely enemies in his eyes. Once his brother realized that the political power was not enough to satisfy his ego, he moved his agenda to a bigger scale and a plan that involved more blood spillage. Through the years the only thing that kept him anchor with who he used to be was Isabella, and his brother knew that. Which was one day why he turned Isabella into a vampire giving Jeremiah the choice to keep her alive meaning that he was going to be selfish because Isabella had always said she never wanted to be a vampire or give her what she wanted and kill her and lose that part of himself forever – Jeremiah picked the latter. He drove a stake through Isabella’s heart, while at the same time losing his morals completely. He knew that the only way to win against his brother was going to be by playing like him. During this time he found time to attend law school since he needed a job to get by with humans.

The vampire became ruthless and more homicidal than ever. He started to mimic his brother’s tendencies and at times even go further. The trio managed to cause havoc and during that time he managed to get his freedom granted via his brother. Jeremiah ran away from his siblings and never looked back. After the betrayals and the lies he never wanted to go back. However, any time he got word that his siblings were getting themselves into deep shit Jeremiah always ended up showing up and helped to keep them safe. During this time he became close friends with Alina and Callista – the only other two that actually ever got Jeremiah to demonstrate any slight of loyalty. Jeremiah no longer is the man he used to be. He is driven by his most selfish desires and takes great pleasure in taking someone’s life away. Salem has managed to provide him everything he has ever wanted. The freedom to do whatever he wants and no ties to anyone. At least he had thought so till he managed to run into Elena who ended up being somewhat of a person he never saw himself caring but ended up becoming friends with her.

There there was Cait – someone that Jeremiah should’ve just killed or enjoyed toying with. After all, she was another vampire that was just a baby. Not to mention the self-loathing managed to drive him insane and yet she got under his skin. Got him to actually open up and think about a relationship, though he kept his relationship close to his heart. Not letting a word out nor ever telling anyone anything. His sister managed to show up one day out of the blue to have a showdown with him. The two exchanged brutal words about the lack of relationship there was. It was disclosed to Jeremiah for the first time that their older brother had abused her but Jeremiah refused to show any sign of weakness so he told her to go to hell. Jeremiah did everything but hand over the keys for her to get lost. But she promised Jeremiah that he would regret his cold nature towards her and that Cait might end up being the one to pay the price. This ended up causing friction between Cait and Jeremiah as he tried to push her away and get her to see that he could have a better life without him. However, things managed to change and he ended up allowing himself to enjoy the bliss with Cait – but knowing that Emilia, her creator was another obstacle that they would have to face.

The price that his sister had predicted came early. Or perhaps Jeremiah was looking for an excuse. There was word that his sister had managed to fall trap into their brother’s games. The vampire hesitated between actually going and aiding his sister and letting her just die. Jeremiah had a good thing in Salem but the thing was that ever since the showdown and the harsh words of his sister he never was able to be okay with how things were handled. So he got up and left town. Taking care of his sister – only it was not as easy as that. His brother had gone back home and taken full reign. Going back home was like the prodigal son returning home, only Jeremiah didn’t get a party in his honor. Instead, he got himself into a contract with the devil himself. The sight of his sister dagger was enough to get Jeremiah to sign himself over to his brother in exchange of his sister’s freedom. Jeremiah was going to honor his contract till his brother betrayed him and killed Jeremiah’s long time red headed friend, that was when Jeremiah did his scheme and killed ½ of his team and ran back to Salem.