#eldritch wizardry

[basicallyanotherwitchesthing]

Gary Gygax & Brian Blume - Dungeons & Dragons, Supplement III: Eldritch Wizardry - TSR Rules - 1979

[albumarchives]

Various Artists | The Reliquary of Terror Vol. 3 (2023)

[oldschoolfrp]

The monster being introduced in this column was the roper, which was not pictured in this issue:

Tracy Lesch's illustrations of a roper and a mind flayer appeared in D&D Supplement II: Blackmoor that same year, though neither was listed in the text or stat tables of that book:

The mind flayer stats were in The Strategic Review Vol 1, No 1, spring 1975. If you didn't have a subscription from the very first issues, you could find the mind flayer reprinted a year later in Supplement III: Eldritch Wizardry, and eventually both were included in the 1977 AD&D Monster Manual.

This chaotic publishing history is one reason everyone seemed to play a different game using the same rules, and why third-party products like Dave Arneson's Dungeonmaster's Index and Judges Guild's Ready Ref Sheets were necessary to help make sense of it all.

Another very early OD&D purple worm and its dragon friend, from The Strategic Review Vol 1, No 2, Tactical Studies Rules, summer 1975

[purpledamnstn]

HazWarts Chapter 1, Part 4

More pages, illustrations, and proocess on our boosty!

[wizardsomethingsomething]

Who wants to smoke weed that I summoned from the eldritch hell dimension

[vixensdungeon]

Alright, kids, time to explore our first topic on how stuff in D&D has changed and how that affects a setting's history, also known as the Qwerth series because that's the silly name I've decided to give the world. And what is that first topic, decided by you the reader (assuming you answered my polls)? None other than

The Druid

So here's how things are going to work, and will probably work for future topics as well. I'm going to make posts on a reblog chain about each suitably distinct edition of the game (Chainmail will count as part of the original game for this purpose), and then end with a rough setting historical rundown. Sound good? Good. So let's get kicking!

Chainmail

The druid makes no appearence in Chainmail.

Dungeons & Dragons

We first see the druid as a monster in the Greyhawk supplement, and finally as a full class in Eldritch Wizardry. In its first appearence the druid uses both clerical and magical spells (the latter at a lower level), but we won't interpret them as any sort of prototypical mystic theurge. Instead we'll regard it as simply a mechanical contrivance because there's no point making a special spell list for a monster you might encounter in some dungeons. And yeah, they're part of the dungeon encounter tables now. So they don't just stay up in the wilderness!

In their later appearence as a subclass of cleric, they have their own spell list with a bunch of nature-type spells, and several that indeed would be more at home in a magic-user's spellbook than a cleric's (clerics used to have spellbooks in the very beginning). While they seem to lag behind clerics in the area of healing (and in that regard they are indeed weaker), a druid gains the use of magical spells earlier than clerics, and actually get access to cure light wounds at the same level as a result.

Here is introduced also their peculiar system of ranks. A druid starts as an aspirant, before going through several circles of initiation before finally beocming a druid. At this point they become limited in number, with a mere four Druids in existence, two Archdruids, and a singular Great Druid. Those wishing to advance when there are no vacancies must challenge a current holder of a title.

Druids are of a Neutral persuasion, and remain so when the five alignment system is introduced later. They serve not a deity but Nature itself. They cannot possess psionic potential, implying that there is something unnatural about such abilities.

[vintagerpg]

Oh, hey, Vecna. I find it strange how the arch-lich looms so large in the history of D&D. His artifacts — hand, eye — first appeared in Eldritch Wizardry, the creation of Brian Blume. His first real appearance in the game was in this, WGA4: Vecna Lives (1990). It’s interesting.

It is very much in the mode of ’90s, focusing on the story unfurled through a series of interconnected, predetermined Events. There’s some dungeoning and city exploration, but the scenario is far more focused on investigation and explosive narrative happenings. It is not connected to the Falcon modules, though it builds on their use of the City of Greyhawk. Nor does it meaningfully connect to the imminent shake-up of the setting’s status quo that plays out in Wars andFrom the Ashes (though if the players fail to defeat the lich, the note on the resulting horrors of Vecna’s rule do seem to anticipate what actually happens to the world after Iuz triumphs).

I’m not sure in sum the adventure is worth the squeeze, though there are interesting bits. For starters, players take the roles of high level pregens: members of the sorcerous Circle of Eight and their associates. Vecna’s key henchmen are pretty fantastically weird — a humanoid with an eye for a head, and another with a hand-head. That it’s kind of…obvious and cartoonish, maybe, but then Ken Frank’s illustrations really sell the concept for me. They’re great and horrible and I would totally use them elsewhere. Third, I really like this Greyhawk that is full of standing stones and dangerous myths. Gygax tends to get all the credit for making Greyhawk an interesting place, but I don’t think it actually becomes interesting until around now, and I think it is ironic that Zeb Cook, who many at the time viewed as a great Gygax betrayer, was instrumental in this. Oh, and Easley’s cover is pretty great, too.

Vecna, defeated, at least in “canon,” winds up it Ravenloft for a while, and gets a big adventure at the end of that line’s lifespan, Vecna Reborn, but I’ve never read it. Nor have I read Die, Vecna, Die!, which ushered in the transition from 2E to 3E, much the same way as Eve of Ruin did for 5E (I guess that parallel depends on whether you think D&D Forever or whatever they are calling it is a new edition or not).

I don’t really understand where this idea that Vecna is one of the great D&D villains came from, though. He achieves far less than Iuz and even Acererak seems more accomplished. He keeps popping up in sourcebooks across 3E and 4E, but he only really amounts to anything in a Critical Role storyline (is that canon?) and as the source of a nickname for a villain in Stranger Things? I dunno, gimme Strahd any day. 

[goodluckclove]

A Laundry Guide for People Who Have Obvious-Sounding Questions They're Too Afraid to Ask

Maybe you’ve never been taught how to use homemaking alchemy to transmogrify dirty clothes and linens into clean ones. Maybe you brute-forced every interaction with a washer and dryer, resulting in something that seems passable – but you’re pretty sure it’s wrong.

It is so easy to look into the process of doing laundry and immediately fall down a spiral of anecdotal information and razor’s edge-precise rules. There’s something ritualistic about engaging with laundry, some eldritch dread in looking at all the compartments of your average Laundry Device and wondering what the fuck you’re supposed to do with them.

I might be projecting at this point. Let’s break it down.

How Often Do I Wash The Things???

This is. Strange to look into. I’m pretty confident in my Laundry Wizardry, but as soon as I started looking into the arguments of how often people say you should wash certain linens and fabrics around the house, I was immediately overwhelmed.

Like, I trust Good Housekeeping. They’ve been around for over 100 years, so I think if they were an unreliable source of information someone would’ve caught it by now. But after looking at their posted guide breaking down laundry frequency depending on the article of fabric?

Fucking hell. God damn.

I believe them, okay? I believe there’s merit to their suggestions. But at the same time, I’m not about to wash my hand towels and wash clothes every goddamned day that’s insane.

I can try and translate it into something that’ll maybe be a little more comprehensible to people who either don’t have access to an in-unit washer and dryer, or are just a little frazzled in the head when it comes to executive function. Maybe you can see this and get some ideas on how to adjust things for your own lifestyle. I do my main wardrobe once or twice a week, and here’s how I work it out the special cases in my brain:

These are kind of gross pretty much immediately, so make sure you have enough to get you through a week: socks, underwear, smaller towels,

Things I aim to wash these like 1-2 a month: sheets, pillowcases, blankets, bath mats

These should also be cleaned, but there’s enough nuance that it requires special consideration: pillows, comforters, certain sweaters or jackets

In my house we stay real cozy and have  a stockpile of massive blankets we’re wrapped in pretty much anytime we’re at home. If I only washed these blankets every three months, my wife would dissolve into dust like the climax of a Marvel movie.

Also, flat-out, I don’t wash my pillows. The steps to do that are unfathomable to me, even though I see the purpose. I’ve also read enough to grasp that it’s pretty easy to mangle a pillow by putting it in the wash. It sounds much more accessible to spot clean with a solution of mild dish-washing liquid, spritz them with a disinfectant spray (Lysol makes one, the off-brand ones are likely just as good), and maybe using baking soda to deodorize.

I’ll touch on that more on a separate, dedicated cleaning guide – which is where I’ll also talk about stains. I can’t get into that here without making this far too long and frightening.

It is Time to Do The Laundry Now. Hold My Hand. It's Okay, We're In This Together

Step One: Figure Out What You're Washing

Resist the temptation to overload your machine. If you’re using a laundry room or laundromat, it might seem like a good strategy to save a few bucks. Honestly, whether or not it's worth it in the long run is up to you. It'll increase the likelihood of certain materials getting damaged, as well as decrease how clean some things get. But if every load of laundry costs you like two bucks, sometimes you gotta' do what you gotta' do.

How do you know you’re overloading a washing machine? There are a few obvious signs, like if the door struggles to close, or if the washer is noticeably shaking and buzzing during the spin cycle. If you also notice your clothes are still dirty after washing, or speckled with soap residue, that usually indicates you're washing too much at once.

That’s why separating loads is so useful. You may have heard people mention separating their light and dark fabrics. The reasoning behind that is because darker fabrics bleed their dye at hotter temperatures, so if you wash darker clothes in cold water they keep their vibrancy for longer. With newer detergents and washing machines, though, this is much less of an issue.

Even when I was using far older machines – in my second apartment’s laundry room, for instance – I never prioritized this. I instead separate loads based on need and use. I try and reserve bedding and bath towels for their own loads, because they take up a lot of space. If I had more delicates I’d probably separate those into their own thing too.

If the laundry’s really piled up because my brain exploded, I will also go ahead and make a load or two of just underwear, bras, and a few core outfits I feel comfy and cute in. It’s not glamorous, but it works!

Step Two: Get Your Goos. It's Goo Time, Baby

The following is a breakdown of the basic goos and liquids you can use to make your clothes good. How you use them depends on whether or not your machine has a detergent compartment, which is usually seen as a small drawer in the front of certain machines that can be pulled out to load detergent, bleach, and fabric softener as needed.

If a machine doesn’t have them, you put all your Laundry Potions directly into the drum – that’s what they call the main tumble pit that washes and cleans your fabrics.

Stain Remover: If you're treating a fresh stain, the right time to do it is before you throw it in the wash. The heat of the dryer sets the stain, so you want to douse it in that Good Good as soon as you can. They sell dedicated stain removers (Shout and Oxyclean are pretty good). If you don't have those, using an old toothbrush to scrub the area with a small amount of dish soap before sponging it down with a little bit of white vinegar helps with a lot of basic stains. You might want to let treated clothes sit for fifteen minutes or so before you throw it in the wash. If using a spray stain remover, consult the instructions with more faith than me.

Detergent: Comes in powder, liquid/gel, and pods. How the fuck do you choose between these options, you might be asking? Depends on what you can afford and what you value. Powder is usually the cheapest, and often the most environmentally-friendly, but it can be slow to dissolve at lower temperatures. Liquid and gel detergents are the best for colored fabrics because it tends to be bleach-free. Certain cities also have refilleries, or zero-waste shops where you can often get bulk detergents and soaps. The pods are are also bleach-free, and usually multi-functional, but they tend to be the most expensive variety and leave plastic waste.

Bleach: Bleach comes in two main varieties: chlorine/oxygen-based, or non-chlorine/color-safe. In laundry, it's used to remove stains and brighten clothes. I'm putting special emphasis on these varieties because I have a longstanding, unreasonable fear of using bleach in laundry. Chlorine bleach will stain the fabric of colored clothes, so don't use it if you don't want that to happen. If your machine has a detergent compartment, it’ll have a separate place for liquid bleach. If it doesn’t, or if you’re using powdered bleach, you can put it directly into the drum. With liquid bleach, you’ll want to start the wash first and let the drum fill partway with water before adding the clothes. How much bleach you use will depend on the brand and size of the load, but it’ll usually be around ¼ cup.

Fabric softener: I'm gonna' level with you - fabric softener is weird. It’s generally considered to be useful on cotton and natural fibers (Excluding wool and down). It’s also acknowledged to be a product of an age where laundry strategy was a lot less efficient, so most will say it’s optional, if not entirely unnecessary. In fact, it’s been noted that excessive fabric softener use can cause mildew buildup in certain machines. If you’re wanting a better, fragrance-free alternative that’ll also help remove soap residue and leave your towels and fabrics softer, you can use white vinegar in place of fabric softener (Either in the softener tray on the detergent compartment, or about a ¼ cup in the drum). But you can also skip this. The Ghosts of House-Spouses Past won't look down on you in disdain. They'll probably be jealous your equipment is so much better than what they had access to.

Washing Machines Have a Lot Of Settings. What - Uh - What Do I Do About That?

Yeah, man. I know what you mean. There’s a designated  “Normal” setting that I tend to stick to. Sometimes I'll do like Sanitize or Heavy Duty if shit's extra gross. We don't have a lot of really finicky fabrics in our house, and there are absolutely settings on my washer and dryer I straight up have never used and don't understand.

It helps to check the tags on whatever you want to wash. It'll say if you need to care for it in any weird way. It'll also say if it's okay to dry it, and the best heat setting to dry it if needed.

Step Three: Dry Time Baby

Fabric sheets exist and can help with static cling, as well as softening clothes and providing a nice scent if needed. A cheaper long-term alternative that’s actually more useful are dryer balls. Their default is unscented, but you can add a few essential oil drops if you want to. They do everything fabric sheets do, but they also bounce around your clothes, keeping them from getting tangled in each other and giving you a more even dry.

A dryer has a lint trap, usually on the front wall near the door opening. It’s smart to check and clean it before every load, but if it’s your own machine you can get away with doing it maybe once a week. The lint and pet fur or whatever gathers there, and if it gets too full it’ll dry less efficiently or even act as a fire hazard.

Load your clothes from the washer and dryer. Once again there’s a normal setting, but you can also adjust temperature or time if needed. I only really do that when I’m either putting something clean directly in the dryer to get rid of wrinkles, or drying clothes that are only slightly damp. In both of those cases, longer time with lower heat is very helpful.

Dry your clothes. You did it! Good job.

Oh wait shit what now.

Putting Away Your Clothes???

So the person who asked me to look into this also wanted some insight on how to fold clothes and put them away. This is a complicated issue for me.

I might get called out for this, but when it comes to the best way to put away your clothes, I strongly believe it is virtually whatever sustainable method that works for you to find clean clothes.

My wardrobe is literally into four baskets. The first is for what I dub “easy clothes”, so t-shirts, shorts, soft pants and the like. The second is for my button downs, sweaters, and slacks. The third is where I keep my dresses and jumpsuits – pretty much anything more prone to wrinkling. The fourth is my briefs, bras and socks. I am at a point in my life where I accept that I often do not have the brain space to hang or fold things a bunch of things consistently. I don’t really dress in anything prone to wrinkling, and anything that proves an issue I just toss it in the dryer for like ten minutes before I go out. I hear hanging it up in the bathroom while you take a shower also works to steam out the wrinkles, but I personally haven’t tried that.

I’m not even going to suggest different ways other people fold clothes. They exist. The “life hacks” are out there, but if you know in your heart of hearts that you will not be able to LARP as an Old Navy employee every time you put away clothes, these tips will not help you.

There is no wrong way to put away clothes if it keeps your clothes clean and accessible for you. If you’re freaked about wrinkles you can try rolling your clothes. Or buy a handheld steamer. You can get one from a big-box store for like less than twenty bucks and they’re great for bedding too.

Be free be clean my friends.

Do you have a request for an in-depth guide like this on something you think you should already know? Reach out to me through DM or ask box and let me know!n

[wizard-archivist-official]

Apparently there's yet another new generation of wizards on this website. We at the Archives are starting to feel practically geriatric, so we can only imagine how those who were here when we arrived are feeling! Nevertheless, there are certain traditions and rites that must be maintained, and so this is your regular reminder that:

Real wizards reject She Who Must Not Be Named, and love, cherish and defend transgender people - for genderfuckery is amongst the highest orders of wizardry

There are many councils, but there is only one The Council.

There are a few banned spells, including Ketamin Ape, Unbumble Bees, and some varieties of Penis Explosion. You can still cast banned spells, but it will upset the Council. @wizard-council-bureaucrat can tell you if a certain spell is banned.

Do not forget to get your hands on an orb to ponder, and remember to update your Wizard Insurance

Don't worry if you come across a terrifying eldritch being - we've got a few of those going around but they're mostly friendly.

And most important of all: have fun!

[your-local-evil-wizard]

Wizard Walmart should sell familiars.

If someone can guess what I am thinking, then I will give the winner(s) one (1) problematic spell and an invitation to my cult.

[oldschoolfrp]

In the beginning there was Dungeons and Dragons™ -- Original Dungeons and Dragons, later called the Collector's Edition. Then there were Greyhawk and Blackmoor and Eldritch Wizardry, which were essentially Expanded Original D&D. Then came Advanced D&D (which was advanced Original D&D), and Basic D&D (which was basic Original D&D). And ultimately, we have Expert D&D, which is expert Basic D&D, not expert Original D&D, or expert Advanced D&D; and Expert Basic D&D brings it all to the same approximate scope as Original D&D. One gets the impression that the TSR crew spends its off-hours designing mazes for rats to become lost in.

Aaron Allston summarizes the history of D&D editions through the first 8 years, from the opening paragraph of his review of Cook & Marsh's Expert D&D rules in The Space Gamer 38, April 1981. His review is generally positive, noting that it is much better edited while fixing some but not all problems with the original game:

I wish I had had the Basic D&D series when I began gaming. The rules sets are legible, indexed, punched for 3-hole notebooks, reorganizable, and, best of all, understandable. One actually can learn the game from the rules, something not possible with Original D&D. That is, however, perhaps the most annoying part about this set of rules. With sufficient playtesting, it could have been released seven or eight years ago, instead of the original set. This series is the product of hindsight.

The complete 1981 B/X D&D (Moldvay's Basic and Cook & Marsh's Expert) remains one of the best-loved early versions of D&D, directly inspiring many of the OSR clones like Labyrinth Lord and Old School Essentials.

[shroudandsaga]

Roll for Plot - Themes

Less of a 'plot' here and more so what the themes of your story might be. There's a few ones here you could utilize! From adventure to romance!

Genre-Based Themes

Dystopian Adventure (Dark, futuristic survival stories)

Cozy Stories (Wholesome, slice-of-life tales)

Sci-Fi Plot (Galactic conflicts, AI revolutions, alien worlds)

Horror Story (Ghosts, monsters, psychological terror)

Mystery & Crime (Detectives, conspiracies, heists)

Historical Fiction (Epic past-set adventures)

Cyberpunk Story (Neon-lit dystopias, hackers, megacities)

Steampunk Adventure (Victorian tech, airships, clockwork creatures)

Superhero Origin (Powers, weaknesses, arch-nemeses)

Fairytale Retelling (Twisted myths and classic folklore)

Mythic Fantasy (Legends, divine trials, and ancient prophecies)

Urban Fantasy (Magic in the modern world, hidden supernatural societies)

Adventure & Exploration Themes

Time Travel Plot (Past, future, alternate timelines)

Pirate Adventure (Treasure maps, ghost ships, naval battles)

Lost Civilization (Ancient ruins, hidden kingdoms, secret societies)

Desert Adventure (Oasis mysteries, cursed artifacts, sandstorms)

Deep Sea Exploration (Mermaids, forgotten cities, sea monsters)

Space Exploration (Uncharted planets, cosmic horrors, alien wars)

Arctic/Antarctic Survival (Frozen wastelands, ice creatures, isolation)

Expedition Gone Wrong (Trapped, lost, or betrayed in the wild)

Mythical Quest (Sacred relics, divine trials, ancient curses)

Underground World (Caverns, hidden societies, bioluminescent forests)

Forbidden Temple (Dangerous deities, hidden traps, ancient prophecies)

Survival Challenge (Harsh environments, testing limits, forced alliances)

Magical & Supernatural Themes

Witchcraft & Wizardry (Magical academies, forbidden spells)

Haunted House Story (Ghosts, cursed objects, eerie history)

Werewolf & Vampire Tale (Dark romance, supernatural politics)

Demon Pact Story (Deals with the devil, contracts, consequences)

Gods & Legends (Modern-day deities, divine trials, mythic battles)

Ghost Story (Lost souls, haunted places, paranormal mysteries)

Cursed Town (Mysterious disappearances, strange happenings)

Portal Fantasy (Entering another realm, fantasy vs reality)

Necromancy Tale (Raising the dead, moral dilemmas, undead armies)

Magical Artifact Quest (Powerful relics, rival hunters)

Forbidden Magic (A power too dangerous to wield, but impossible to resist)

Eldritch Horror (Cosmic beings, mind-breaking realities, and forbidden knowledge)

Unusual & Unique Concepts

Sentient AI Story (Machines gaining emotions, ethical dilemmas)

Apocalypse Story (End-of-the-world survival scenarios)

A Day in the Life of a Villain (What’s their routine?)

Comedy Adventure (Absurd quests, unlikely heroes)

"What If" Scenario (History rewritten, alternative timelines)

"Stranded" Story (Marooned in space, time, or somewhere else)

Dream or Nightmare World (Lucid dreams, shifting realities)

Secret Society Story (Hidden groups, secret knowledge, infiltration)

Body Swap Plot (Trapped in another’s body—what now?)

Animal POV Story (Sentient animals, animal-led rebellion)

Endless Time Loop (A single day, lived over and over, with no escape)

Reality Bending (Characters slowly realizing the world isn't real)

Relationship & Drama-Based Themes

Forbidden Romance (Love against the odds, tragic consequences)

Enemies-to-Lovers (Hate turns into passion—how?)

Found Family Story (Unlikely bonds, survival, emotional growth)

Revenge Tale (Who’s seeking revenge, and why?)

Royal Court Drama (Betrayals, politics, hidden agendas)

Road Trip Story (Traveling characters, unexpected detours)

Small Town Secrets (Gossip, hidden pasts, unexpected twists)

Fake Relationship Story (What’s the reason? What could go wrong?)

Rivalry Story (From bitter competition to unexpected outcomes)

Reunion Story (Long-lost friends, lovers, or family members)

Doomed Soulmates (A love that is destined to end in tragedy)

Slow Burn Romance (Years of tension before love finally ignites)

[rukafais]

iron's spells and spellbooks is a really fun mod because progression involves finding wizards and beating them up to steal their shit, and also there's a school of wizardry you can only access by crawling around in ancient cities and piecing together scraps to decipher eldritch knowledge

[grailfinders]

Grailfinders Viewers' Choice #24: Dark Sakura

today on Grailfinders we’re making the big bad of Heaven’s Feel, Dark Sakura. she’s Sakura, but dark! I admit we haven’t played F/SN yet (heresy, I know), so if we get any lore wrong I profusely apologize. she’s got that grail gunk all up in her, so you know we had to give her the ol’ sorlock treatment. she’s a Great Old One Warlock for that GOO, and a Clockwork Sorcerer to get some of her own power. with those two in place, we have everything we need for omnipotence! maybe.

check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Ancestry & Background

Sakura’s a Human, or at least she was before the goopening, and she grew up with a special pattern on her that’s teaching her magic. that’s a Mark of the Sentinel if I ever heard it, giving her +2 Charisma and +1 Dexterity (thank you Tasha), as well as the Sentinel’s Intuition for a d4 bonus on all Insight and Perception checks. the most important part of hiding yourself from people is making sure they don’t know if you know that they know what you know, y’know? you can also use the Guardian’s Shield once a day for a free casting of the shield spell, and you’re a Vigilant Guardian, letting you throw yourself between an ally and an attack once a day. we’re not really using that last one here, but maybe you’ll use it during Today’s Menu for the Emiya Family, who knows. bacon grease really hurts, so maybe that counts as an attack?

you also get an extended spell list, but we’ll just go over the ones we want as we get them.

you’re also a Haunted One, because dear christ is the Matou family fucked up. on the plus side, you’re proficient in Arcana and Religion. that totally makes up for the trauma, right?

Ability Scores

your highest stat is Charisma. if you want people to think you’re doing alright, you need to lie to them constantly, and that’s a lot of charisma checks. also, your magic comes from within, and also from a cup, and also from a cup within, and all of those are charisma based. second up is Constitution. you can keep fighting with like, 80% of your body gone, so yeah. you’re pretty tough. third is Intelligence, as magic in Fate is a mix of sorcery and wizardry- it would feel weird to have this low, even if we don’t need it. this means your Dexterity is just okay. as implied by that bit about your body getting torn apart, you clearly don’t get out of the way of attacks easily. which kind of makes sense, you’re still just a teenager with magic powers. speaking of, your Wisdom’s low. I don’t want to assume as to how you got a grail stuffed inside you, but I will say it probably makes it hard for you to focus on stuff. that means we’re dumping Strength. you are a teenage girl. plus you’re going to have plenty of minions to do all the heavy lifting for you. I hear one of them is the strongest in the world.

Class Levels

1. Warlock 1: starting off as a warlock gets you proficiency with Wisdom and Charisma saves, as well as Deception and History. you also get an Awakened Mind from your GOO! (that’s Great Old One btw, but both work to describe grail mud) that gives you an Awakened Mind, letting you speak telepathically with anyone nearby as long as they know at least one language. I know the grail let Medusa speak Japanese but wouldn’t it be funny if it didn’t? now you’re prepared.

The grail will also give you Pact Magic like all warlocks, allowing you to cast spells using your Charisma for the spell modifier and save DC. You only have one first-level spell slot at the moment, but it recharges each short rest, and you’ll receive more and stronger spell slots over time. Eldritch Blast gives you a basic ranged attack that any caster should know, while Infestation allows you to call upon the grail mud to poison a nearby creature while also forcing them to move one space in a random direction. If your DM is fond of pits and hazards, you will be fond of this spell.

For your leveled spell, you can bring the mud to bear against anyone near you with Arms of Hadar, attacking friend and foe alike around you, while also preventing them from making reaction. For your second spell, go on the defensive with Shield of Faith giving you or an ally +2 AC for up to ten minutes. Any damage avoided is effectively damage healed, if you think about it.

2. Warlock 2: Second level warlocks get Eldritch Invocations to shape the grail mud to your liking. with these you can don an Armor of Shadows for free castings of Mage Armor on yourself, instantly adding an extra 3 points of AC while not wearing armor. you can also use Agonizing Blasts, adding your Charisma modifier to all damage done by your Eldritch Blast.

Speaking of dealing damage via Eldritch Blast, your new spell this level is Hex. With this spell, you deal an extra 1d6 necrotic damage to your target every time you hit them, and they also get disadvantage on all checks made with an ability of your choosing. If your target falls to 0 HP before your hour is up, you can even move it to another target! Given how many attacks Eldritch Blast can fire off in a single turn, this is a great boon to any killer of humanity.

3. Warlock 3: At third level, warlocks receive their Pact Boon, an extra special gift from your patron to shift the tides of battle! When you enter the Pact of the Talisman, anyone can wear it and add a d4 to a failed check up to your proficiency times a day. If you know what’s coming, you can be better prepared for it. Failing that, you can at least pretend you were prepared for it and make your rolls better anyway.

You also gain second level spells this level, and Hold Person is a doozy! One creature of your choice needs to make a Wisdom save, and if they fail, they’re paralyzed for up to a minute, or until they make another Wisdom save at the end of their turn.

A paralyzed creature is Incapacitated, and fails all strength and dexterity saves. In addition, all attacks against them gain advantage, and attackers within 5’ of the creature always deal critical damage whenever they hit. If you want to kill a humanoid as quickly as possible, this is how you do it.

4. Warlock 4: At fourth level, warlocks gain their first Ability Score Improvement, allowing us to round out your Dexterity and Charisma at the same time! We still can’t summon Saber Alter just yet, but you can use a Sword Burst for more or less the same effect. You also gain your first pseudo-summon this level thanks to Phantasmal Force. This illusion can be of anything you wish, but if you make an illusion that would deal damage to the creature, they will take a little psychic damage each turn.

5. Warlock 5: Fifth level warlocks learn third level spells. Counterspell will allow you to no-sell just about anything in the game, when it works. Countering the right attack or escape attempt can instantly make you the MVP of any encounter, which feels appropriate for a holy grail.

You can also don a Cloak of Flies thanks to your new invocation. With this, you deal poison damage to every creature within 5’ of you while also gaining advantage on Intimidation checks, at the cost of disadvantage on all other forms of charisma. You can use this once a short rest, and it has no time limit! it’s literally free damage.

6. Warlock 6: In contrast, your new Entropic Ward is free anti-damage. Whenever a creature attacks you, you can react to give it disadvantage. If this causes the attack to miss, your next attack against the attacker is made at advantage. You can only use this once per short rest, but I’m sure most people would prefer to have as few stab wounds as they can manage.

You can also further spread the mud’s influence thanks to the Hunger of Hadar, making a 20’ radius sphere of darkness that slows movement within it and deals damage to anything that starts and ends its turn within it.

7. Sorcerer 1: now we’re going to jump back to Sorcerer real quick and pick up some regular Sakura spells. you can argue we should’ve done this class first then, but I wanted the extra HP. so yes, you have Spells, you cast them with Charisma too. these refresh on long rests, but you can use warlock spell slots for sorcery spells and vice versa. this also doubles your cantrip count with the addition of Fire Bolt, Frostbite, Lightning Lure, and Chill Touch so this level isn’t 100% regular Sakura. you can also use Magic Missile if you like multiattacking but hate missing, and Silvery Barbs for another way to make the infinite power of the grail work for you. react and force someone to re-roll an attack, save, or check. if they fail, you can give an ally advantage on their next attack, save, or check. it’s great.

speaking of roll fuckery, you’re a Clockwork Soul, which lets you Restore Balance. 90% of the time grails are doing the exact opposite, but whatever, it lets you remove advantage or disadvantage from a d20 roll you can see Proficiency times per day. you can make the grail do literally anything, so everything we do here is 100% canon. people will believe that, right?

8. Sorcerer 2: second level sorcerers get a Font of Magic, so you can burn spell slots to make sorcery points and burn points to make sorcerer spell slots. if you’re not aware of the “coffeelock” gimmick, this lets you turn warlock slots into sorcerer slots, then short rest to regain the warlock slots for infinite magical power. as long as you can stay awake and not die in the process, at least.

to help you not die, here’s False Life! it gives you temporary HP! that’s almost as good as healing!

9. Sorcerer 3: third level sorcerers get Metamagic! it lets you customize spells almost as much as your invocations let you customize you. Heightened spells give one creature in their effect disadvantage on their save for 3 points, while Quickened spells let you cast an action spell as a bonus action. you blast hard, and you blast fast. it makes sense, given the magical reactor you’re stealing power from.

also you can cast Alter Self now! I don’t know what your cool red and black dress thing is supposed to be made out of, but if it’s made out of you, now you can make it by using the Change Appearance option. you can also choose an Aquatic Adaptation or Natural Weapons if you want.

10. Sorcerer 4: fourth level sorcerers get an ASI to max out your Charisma for the strongest spells, as well as the cantrip Mind Sliver to mess up human brains even more, and Maximillian’s Earthen Grasp for a sorta giant. why make a giant the size of a mountain when you can make a giant out of a mountain? think smarter, not harder. (it restrains a creature for up to a minute if it fails a strength save and you can make the hand crush people while grabbed.)

11. Warlock 7: Seventh level warlocks can use fourth level spells like Dominate Beast, turning any beast you can see into your loyal companion for up to a minute, forcing it to obey any command you give it. Most of our enslavement tactics only work on humanoids, so if you have to fight Hessian Lobo, this can help bring him into the fold.

If that’s not beastly enough, you become a Sculptor of Flesh this level, letting you cast Polymorph once a day with a warlock spell slot. This will transform you into a beast with a CR equal to or lower than your level for up to an hour. This is effectively summoning a giant to fight for you while also giving you a much larger HP pool to work with. You can’t cast spells while polymorphed, but I don’t think you need to if you’re a T. Rex.

12. warlock 8: at level 8 u get another asi, this time you’re getting lucky! congrats, some people have to stay up all night for that one. with this, yu can re-roll a creature’s attack, check, or save (as long as it directly affects u) up to 3 times a day! you can’t loop the whole war, but you can loop an attack or two. or three, if you were paying attention!

you can also summon a guardian of faith now, it’s only large so pretty small for a giant, but it blocks an area and stabs stuff for radiant damage! plus these are concentration free, so you can make as many as you want!

13. warlock 9: ninth level warlocks get fifth level spells, and if you really wanna make a shadow giant, then you need BIGBY’S HAND!!! it makes a big hand you can control. sure it’s not the whole thing, but all the cool giant boss fights only let you hit one body part anyway. also yer eldritch blast is a lance of lethargy now, so once a turn you can knock 10’ offa someone’s move speed for the next turn. that’s why this build’s so late!

14. warlock 10: tenth level warlocks can toll the dead and deal extra damage to anyone not at full health, but more importantly you get a thought shield! your mind cant be read by anybody you don’t wanna deal with, and you get resistance to psychic damage bc the amount you block gets launched back at the sender! you’re mostly mud by this point, i think. you ever try to make mud freak out? doesn’t go well.

15. warlock 11: leventh level warlocks get a mystic arcanum, a fancy way of saying you have normal spell slots now that only work for the one spell you get them for. no upcasting allowed past this point! now you can create undead! wit this you can turn up to three corpses into ghouls that’ll stay under your control for 24 hours. you can refresh this control with another casting, or you can just let them run free on the populace, your choice. boom, creepy skeletons, done!

16. Sorcerer 5: fifth level sorcerers got Magical Guidance, giving you another way to boost failed checks if you got the points for it. also, you can dispel magic now. if you couldn’t counter it, at least you can cut through it after the fact! (kinda ironic you died to rulebreaker, huh?)

17. Sorcerer 6: at sixth level clockwork sorcerers become a Bastion of Law, letting you spend sorcery points to give yourself a barrier to block up to 5d8 incoming damage.

18. warlock 12: at twelfth level you get your last asi, makin you tough! that’s 36 hp now, and another 2 every time you level up from here on out! if you want to heal a lot of hp, you need a lot of hp. or not, you can just turn into a huge giant crab if ya want. you also get the protection of the talisman this level, letting whoever is wearing it get an extra d4 on their save proficiency times a day! you’re just better than everyone, huh?

19. Warlock 13: a thirteenth level warlock gets a seventh level arcanum like Finger of Death. it kills people and can turn them into your zombie minions, just like the grail mud.

20. Warlock 14: all of this is nice of course, but it’s not warping a servant to serve you indefinitely. thankfully, that’s why you can now create thralls! you can use your action to touch any incapacitated humanoid and charm them indefinitely, or until they get hit with a remove curse spell. as long as you two are on the same plane, you can also talk to each other with your minds!! just. convince someone to play Saber. alter them. boom, salter.

Pros & Cons

Pros:

Create Thrall is a huge boon, letting you turn just about anyone into your minion for practically free. there’s no save, even! while finding an incapacitated humanoid sounds daunting, it’s easier than you’d think with a liberal sprinkling of heightened Hold Persons. suck a servant into goop and make them your servants. or zombies, or just lie to them!

as a sorlock you get infinite magic as long as you’re willing to work without sleep, which lets you blast away with your strongest spells without issue. well, not your strongest spells since those are arcanum, but still, infinite upcast Magic Missiles and Hungers of Hadar. it’s nice!

of course if you want to talk defense, infinite spell slots means infinite sorcery points means infinite shields. your infinite magical power makes Bastion of Law just a silly power to have, with no limit to the number of times you can use it outside of how much mana you have to burn meaning you can block up to 5d8 damage every turn with no limit outside of your patience. this is on top of your decent (for a caster) hp, as well as an ungodly number of ways to block, disadvantage, and stymie attackers at every turn. if someone somehow manages to fight you directly, it’s going to be a while before they can even pretend to land a hit on you.

Cons:

it a good thing you have those shields, because your AC is terrible without them. 15 AC isn’t bad, of course, but it means you’ll have to use every trick in your book if you get cornered by someone with actual fighting experience.

also, that big pro I put up there with the Bastion of Law? it takes a bonus action to burn a slot into points, then an action to make the shield. that’s your entire turn gone every time your shield needs to be refreshed. if someone really gets you on your backfoot, you can last a while, but that’s about all you can do. this is why you need the minions.

but now that I brought up that “ungodly number of ways to block attacks”… you have an ungodly number of ways to block attacks. that means not only do you have to be really paying attention to the DM’s turns, you need to keep an eye on all those methods of defense so you A) can use them well, and B) you don’t burn through them too quickly. complexity isn’t a death sentence, but you should know it before going all-in on a build. some people just want to relax in D&D, after all.

[wicked-witch-for-hire]

The Artifacts of Karsus and the Crown Of Horns

This post was inspired by several things:

- u/lookitsnichole 's question: if Mystra is melding together with Midnight, why don't we say that Karsus is melding with Gale

- what are the tasks of archmages and Chosens, which made me think about eldritch artifacts thanks to u/Valetheera

- and I would lie if I would say that the situation with Anders & Justice or rather Vengeance was not also in my mind.

What I posit is this:

The idea of Ascension may have been planted in Gale by the Orb & the Crown when he was in close proximity to both of them.

The changes in GodGale are just partly due to ascension and shedding humanity - he is at the minimum greatly influenced by these artifacts. It is possible that they are slowly melding together, or that in time the "Karsus" part can take over completely.

First what are the orb and the crown, and what became of Karsus?

Karsus became a god for an infinitesimally short time, and is considered to be a demi-god. Mystryl sacrifised herself, thus cut all magic and stopped Karsus's spell in the process, and transformed Karsus into stone. Karsus died but he did not go to the Fugue Plane (where souls normally go), but stayed on the Material Plane. His vestige can be called upon by powerful magic users. (Neverwinter Nights: Shadows of Undrentide).

From the Annals of Karsus

My great spell of transcendence is mine alone, not to be committed to ink and parchment, but I have also forged three supreme enchanted items that are the physical embodiments of my wizardry, and of them I shall make record.

There is a Crown, an Orb, and a Sceptre, each night-alive and with its own power and purpose, and these I call the Regalia of Karsus.

The Crown of Karsus: to attract and absorb magical knowledge, and give the wearer dominion over himself so that he remains his own entity apart from the Weave.

The Orb of Karsus: a storage device or battery that condenses mystic power, ever-gathering so that it must be syphoned at intervals of its excess.

The Sceptre of Karsus: an instrument of projection, a focusing utensil for the precise wielding of unimaginably vast forces. (in Mystra's possession)

Know of these items you must, for if I fail to achieve immortality, they will persist, and I dare say, 'live' on beyond me.

The next question is do we have any other example of something created by a god for nefarious purposes, an evil & intelligent artifact which was capable of corrupting and even transforming the minds of its wearers? Even after the death of its forger?

Say hello to the Crown of Horns!

It was very likely forged by Myrkul (or reforged by him from an ancient Netherese artifact).

This artifact is possessed by Myrkul, sentient and it is capable to interfere with the minds of its wearers.

Following the god's destruction, the vestiges of Myrkul could strongly influence the actions of whomever wore the Crown of Horns, making suggestions within their consciousness, possessing them outright, and even altering their moral and ethical outlook to more closely resemble his own (this is fancy D&D talk for "this artifact will change your alignment to neutral evil"). No individual could remove their crown unless Myrkul's essence wished for his artifact to find a new host.

Laeral Silverhand was one of the Seven Sisters - one of the mortal daughters of Mystra (2.0), who was also a Chosen of Mystra. She was an incredibly powerful mage, and she was specifically gifted in creating artifacts, until she donned this Crown. In her own words:

"We found an artifact, the Crown of Horns, and I in my pride decided that my powers of will and magic were sufficient to counter the evil I sensed within it. I wore the Crown, and it claimed me as its own. Years went by, terrible years during which I lost Laeral and became the Wild Woman, the Witch of the North. I remember little of those years, which in many ways is a blessing."

Theorycrafting time & conclusion

When I look at GodGale I see remnants of Gale in him - he comes back for his love - but I mostly see the terrible, unsatisfiable hunger of the Orb personified as a God of Ambition. HumanGale had ambitions yes, but these ambitions had served a purpose, he wanted to achieve something, he had an endgoal in his mind. GodGale might help a follower to achieve something but that follower won't feel any satisfaction - they will endlessly run after the next thing like a little hampster in their wheel until exhaustion & death.

And I don't think this is truly Gale - this is a vestige of Karsus. The Crown was influencing and corrupting Gale from the moment Gale has got close enough. The Orb would act like a homing beacon to the Crown, and it could amplify its effects.

These artifacts are both capable of being sentient, containing the remnants of their forger - we have precedents for this in the lore, and the Annals of Karsus can be interpreted as proof (see the bolded part.)

And when he ascends? I see an amalgamation of them. I think the Gale part of GodGale is still mostly in charge, but this can change.

There is an interesting thought - we know that Raphael can have an ominous monologue about Mystra if she has the Crown. In that case Mystra had the Sceptre & Crown, and possibly the orb too (we don't know if she simply destroys it or pulls it out of Gale - it might still be intact.) I don't think this will bode well for her for the long run, but we'll see...

[the-fluffy-folio]

Scion of Magic - Tiny fiend, chaotic evil

The scion of magic – an otherworldly aficionado of wizardry and incantation; a visitor from a stranger plane unknown to even the most versed connoisseurs of peculiar beings. Pulled into the material plane alongside the likewise whimsical critter carnival, it immediately starts to absorb the eldritch energies of the feisty company it finds itself in. Eventually, the scion of magic feels sufficiently charged and wanders of – scheming and to put the evil thoughts that plague its eerie mind into action.

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