#el esposo de gloria

[iamnathannah]

Currently going around on Twitter, this trend begged for a Glorbie twist (and my favorite, Duolingo slander and Richie's fear of losing his streak while trying to fit in with the girls 🤭).

[cantevenbeachhere]

BEACH 🤜🏻🏝️🤛🏻 OFF

Sorta…6/?

You get to swap with somebody. Spin to find out who.

Please reblog! Thanks!

[midnightkens]

TW: Sudden death of a partner, self-blame

--

The house is far too quiet.

Ken's gaze flit about the living room. A gentle breeze trickles in from the open window, and if he pays close enough attention, he hears crickets chirping from somewhere in the distance. The world keeps spinning. Bottles clink in the next yard over, and Ken scowls at the roar of laughter that follows.

How can anyone laugh right now? His world came to a screeching halt six weeks ago. He shudders and wraps his blanket tighter around himself. The blanket still smells like Ryan, but it's a cold comfort. Traces of his partner are scattered all about the room, from his running shoes by the door, a half-finished painting on its canvas, the book he was reading on the coffee table.

It's Ken's very own time capsule.

"You can move some of it," Barbie suggests gently. "He - "

"No," Ken snaps. Barbie flinches, and he squirms with guilt. He'll apologize later, when he has the energy. "I can't."

Ken closes his eyes, willing the onslaught of memories to leave him alone, but he knows it's wishful thinking. Ryan haunts his dreams, face contorted with rage, it's your fault I'm dead, why didn't you stay home, I thought you loved me?

Barbie, Gloria, and Sasha are kind enough to lie to him, but Ken wishes they would tell him the truth. It's all his fault; he already knows it, so what difference would it make? They probably talk about him, how worthless he is, how badly he fucked up. After all, they have plenty of time. They're holed up in the same house, and Ken's been cast aside, lost, adrift, and alone.

Ken buries his head in his hands. He's not being fair. They've been reaching out, trying to get him to talk, inviting him over and begging him to spend time with them. He can't make his hands reach for his phone. It's too much energy.

He doesn't matter that much anyway

"Maybe I should stay home." Ken puts his bag down and leans against the doorframe. Nervous energy buzzes through him, white-hot and angry. Ryan needs him. Why? Ken doesn't know. He only knows that he does.

Ryan swivels around in his seat and raises an eyebrow. "Ken, I'm fine. I've been looking at the screen for too long. I'm going to take some medicine, go to bed, and I'll be fine. It's a headache. Stop fretting."

Ken had gone off to work, trying to shake the uneasy feeling off. But Ryan didn't answer two, four, five and a half hours later. Six hours into his twelve hour shift, he races home, gripping the steering wheel tightly. The house was eerily silent, and Ken remembers the stairs creaking as he climbed them, getting tunnel vision as he walked down the hall and into the bedroom he shared with his husband.

A massive brain aneurysm, the doctors told him. He hadn't felt a thing.

Ken hasn't slept in his bed in weeks. Hasn't even entered the room. How is he ever supposed to go in that room again, surrounded by his clothes, his cologne, his side of the bed, empty and cold? The couch is fine. It's not the comfiest to sleep on, but that's fine.

Ken doesn't deserve comfort. He's a paramedic. He has pretty damn good instincts, instincts that were screaming at him to stay home that day, instincts that he ignored.

Ryan's dead, because he failed him. His husband's trust lay cradled in the palm of his hand, and Ken broke it. Destroyed it. He's existed for over seventy-five years. Ryan didn't even get fifty.

They didn't even get ten years together. Seven years isn't enough time for anything. They had so many plans! And it slipped through his fingers, because even years after becoming human, he's an idiot who makes the same mistakes over and over.

He never deserved Ryan anyway. It should've been him.

But it wasn't, and he just knows that his family thinks the same.

It's fine. He doesn't need them.

They can't give him what he wants, so why bother?

[lesbiwlw]

what do you think el esposo de Gloria's real name should be?

pls tell me, it's for science

[ebony1442]

As an added bonus, that's America Ferrera's actual husband, Ryan Piers Williams. He's Ken to her Barbie, literally.

One thing that tickled me about the Barbie movie was how Gloria's husband is (imo) a 'Real World' Ken.

We see very little of him in the movie. In both of his scenes, he's trying to speak/learn Spanish. He does nothing important or if consequence in terms of the plot... But he's trying to learn a language his wife and daughter speak. He's not excelling, I'm not even sure if he's succeeding. But he is kensistently trying.

For all of the 'Real World' men who are antagonists or opponents to Barbie, El Esposo de Gloria (as he is listed in the credits) has true Kenergy.

[moosemonstrous]

It just occurred to me that Gloria's husband is also a Ken. He has no influence on his wife's or daughter's dream lives. He's clearly been around for a while - he either is Sasha's dad or has been in her life long enough to be called dad - but is still at the beginning-to-medium levels of speaking Spanish. We can assume he's learning his partner's language, but then again Gloria doesn't speak Spanish in the movie.

I may have personal Projections about this.

Anyway this cracked me up:

[kjarlmarx]

[lift-heavy-be-gay]

me trying (and failing) to be normal when I get an update notification

CH 5 is up! And here I am, writing out a backstory for a character meant as a one-off joke.

Keep reading

[applebees4prez]

personally i’m in favor of just ignoring the existence of el esposo de gloria so that she and barbie can fall in love without any complications

[be-my-totino]

writing prompt for any barbie x gloria fic writers out there

barbie and sasha are out somewhere and someone calls barbie a milf, barbie asks sasha what that means and not wanting to possibly upset her in public sasha lies and says it stands for 'mom id like to be friends with' (or something it doesnt matter) and when they get home barbie calls gloria a milf, gloria in shock asks if she knows what it means and barbie tells her what sasha said and gloria laughs, she sees barbies confusion and tells her it stands for mom id like to fuck, and without missing a beat barbie says that still makes you a milf and gloria dies

bonus points if they kiss and if el esposo de gloria doesnt exist

[sandrasoapbox]

El Esposo de Gloria: "This is my wife, Gloria, and this is her girlfriend, Barbie."

[tunadumbhoe]

What if we make Barbie really be the dad that stepped up for Sasha, like, maybe El esposo de Gloria died when Sasha was a baby (I'm not willing to make him a bad person, sorry) so after some years of being a single mother, Gloria finally finds a supportive partner, and guess who is it, Barbara Fucking Handler, who is an attractive marketing senior in Mattel, but it's also the biggest loser of all time (I'm thinking something like Secret Comic Nerd™, or Vanilla Gym Rat), and also a middle aged dad trapped in a thirty-five years old woman's body, she tells dad jokes, she plays catch with Sasha, she loves a good grill day, and, most importantly, is so painfully head over heels for Gloria that Sasha can do nothing but accept the woman in their family.

(She's very happy to have someone to gang up with her when asking for McDonald's, and also, Barbie somehow knows Spanish?? So that's a point for the blonde for sure.)

[sogayitwrites]

You’re about to watch Barbie again?

(same, buddy, same)

Here’s a drinking game for you!!

You drink:

Every time someone says Barbie ('omg the beach scene' yes I know)

Every time Barbie changes outfits

Every time someone (Ken) says horse/horses

Every time Barbie cries

Every time someone leaves or goes to Barbieland

Bonus:

Every time El esposo de Gloria speaks Spanish

About to try it myself, wait for further notice......

[cordialsilence]

Me when someone mentions el esposo de gloria:

[themboification]

just learned that el esposo de gloria in fact is not named richie it was something i read in a fanfic and then wrote it into my own so can we like pretend he is named richie

[mitosenespanol]

Gloria y desgracia de Belerofonte

Poseidón yació con Eurínome, hija del rey de Megara, y de esta unión nació Hipónoo, un joven hermoso que ascendió al trono de Corinto. Desafortunadamente, tuvo una penosa muerte por haber ofendido a los dioses.

Hipónoo vivía en Corinto, reino de su padrastro Glauco. Tras matar accidentalmente a un hombre llamado Balero (y según otros, también mató a su hermano Delíades), se le apodó Belerofonte y viajó a Tirinto como suplicante en busca de la expiación. Allí conoció al rey Preto y a su esposa Antea. Para su infortunio, la mujer se enamoró de él y pronto se las arregló para quedarse a solas con él. Dado que su presencia en la ciudad no era por buenos motivos, Belerofonte no deseaba buscarse problemas, así que rechazó las insinuaciones de Antea. Ofendida, la mujer acusó al héroe de querer seducirla a expensas de su esposo Preto.

El rey estaba molesto con su invitado, más no quería provocar la ira de Poseidón castigando a su hijo, así que se las arregló para vengarse de Belerofonte de manera indirecta: envió una carta a su suegro Yóbates, con un breve texto que decía "mata a quien te entrega esta misiva, pues quiso violar a mi esposa, tu hija". Habiendo escrito esto, le entregó la carta a Belerofonte y la envió a Licia, reino de Yóbates.

El padre de Antea tampoco se atrevió a matar al hombre, pues también temía la ira del dios marino. Pero se le ocurrió que podía enviarlo a cumplir con alguna misión peligrosa que terminara por matarlo. Durante mucho tiempo Yóbates había batallado con el monstruo Quimera, que tenía cabeza de león, cuerpo de cabra y cola de serpiente. Había sido engendrado por Equidna y Tifón, padres los monstruos más temidos de Grecia. Quimera estaba bajo las órdenes del rey de Caria, enemigo de Yóbates, y acechaba el reino de Licia. Así pues, le ordenó a Belerofonte matar a Quimera.

Consciente de lo peligroso de tal empresa, el héroe buscó consejo en Poliido, un adivino corintio. Este le contó sobre Pegaso, un caballo blanco con alas que había creado el pozo Hipocrene pisoteando la tierra con sus cascos y que podía ayudarlo a tener ventaja sobre Quimera. Belerofonte lo encontró bebiendo de los pozos de Pirene, en la Acrópolis de Corinto. Con ayuda de Atenea, le lanzó al caballo alado una brida en la cabeza y logró domarlo con destreza. Ya montado en el, sobrevoló a Quimera y la atravesó con sus flechas, metió entre sus fauces un pedazo de plomo y, cuando la bestia lanzó fuego desde su interior, el metal se fundió, se deslizó por su garganta y le abrasó las vísceras.

Yóbates no recompensó de ninguna forma a Belerofonte por semejante hazaña. Por el contrario, se las ingenió para ponerlo de nuevo en peligro. Lo envió a donde los solimos y las amazonas, ambos pueblos guerreros enemigos de Licia, pero pronto los venció lanzándoles piedras. También le ordenó luchar contra los piratas carios, a quienes derrotó con facilidad. Cansado y sin ideas, Yóbates ordenó a sus guardias a atacarlo. A sabiendas que el rey licio no era su amigo y lo quería muerto, Belerofonte pidió a Poseidón que su cabalgata sobre Pegaso fuera acompañada de olas gigantescas que inundaran la llanura y la ciudad. Cuando se acercó al palacio real, los ciudadanos licios vieron con horror como la ciudad se inundaba. Esta desgracia le hizo ver a Yóbates que el héroe era inocente, y lo dicho por Preto en la carta debía ser una mentira o producto de una confusión.

Decidido a evitar más desgracias, Yóbates le escribió a Preto solicitando una descripción más precisa de lo ocurrido con Antea. Como su hija no pudo sostener la historia que había inventado, el acongojado rey no tuvo más remedio que suplicar el perdón de Belerofonte y ofrecerle a su otra hija, Filónoe en matrimonio. Además, lo convirtió en su heredero.

Belerofonte estaba tan embebido en su gloria que montó a Pegaso y se dirigió a toda velocidad al Olimpo, pero Zeus envió un insecto para que mordiera al caballo alado y provocara la caída del héroe de regreso a la tierra. Así, Belerofonte cayó sobre un árbol espinoso y quedó cojo, ciego y maldito. Vagó solitario por los parajes evitando encontrarse con cualquier persona, y finalmente murió sin gloria.

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