#either way things are gonna be slower for a while until new years
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Let's be frank here; 2023 was one helluva year when it came to expanding my artistic range. Maybe of y'all may know me as the "V-Mary/Maryanna guy", but a goal that I set myself up at the start of the year was to experiment and expand the list of what I usual drew. And that's exactly what I did.
From the top of my head, I've done things like paleoart, expanded more on drawing human bodies, added some new series to the list of things that I draw, finally got my first-ever commission, partook in a monthly drawing challenge that I created myself, worked on my idea for a Johnny Test reboot some more (Although I wish I made even more for that series), drew up other people's OCs, and more! Overall, I'm very happy with how this year when for me. And while it's gonna be a while before big art pieces start picking up again, I'm hoping to continue growing and improving my craft to be even better in the new year. Things are only gonna get bigger and grander from here on out. I just wanna thank everyone for supporting me this year. I'm very grateful for the friends, family, and fans that I've made along the way in this journey so far, and I'm FAR from done.
May your Season's have alot of Greason's, and I'll see you all in the new year. Cheers!
#ultra ramblings#my artz#johnny test#ultra-ween#prehistoric planet#i may or may not be taking time off from this blog for a bit#either way things are gonna be slower for a while until new years#thank you again for the support this year#getting 100 followers right as this year started was just the start#and right on the year of this blog's 5th anniversary too!#here's to 5 more years#along with 100 more followers#and beyond!
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*enters the room and drops into a chair*
Good evening everybody, I know I just finished a mile-long post covering the entirety of the King arc, but I'm having thoughts so here we are
I do not control the autism, the autism controls me, we move on
WE ARE TALKING ABOUT RED AND HEROBRINE, BUCKLE UP
I'm just gonna jump in. We start in Animation vs Minecraft, the OG. They've discovered Minecraft and are playing around with it, blah blah we know how this goes. Interestingly, there isn't a noticeable point where it becomes obvious when Herobrine possesses Red. Not visually, at least. Not yet.
Red sees the Icon, and freezes. Is this Herobrine? Does Red just really want the block? It is not out of character for the CG to fight each other for something they want, especially so early in the timeline, but it seems very sudden.
He punches Yellow, to the rest of the CG's surprise and huddles down with it. This feels like possession to me. If not, then the start of it.
Depending on your headcanons, Herobrine could have taken Red over quickly or slowly, it really just depends. I personally think that Herobrine recognized the possiblity of a strong host in Red, and began to influence his thoughts to grab the Icon. Once he had it he slowly worked his way into Red's head until he had complete control.
From Red's perspective this is terrifying. Having a strange entity take over your brain and force you to hurt your friends? Awful! No wonder he was so freaked out by the end! He flinched when his friends approached him, my poor boy is so traumatized.
We move on to Monster School. Years have passed, and Herobrine is a different person; he's a teacher now. Red tries to avoid Herobrine's eyes, maybe to try not to jog his memory about who he is; Herobrine seems to think Red is familiar, but doesn't react beyond that. Does he remember the kid he possessed? Maybe. Maybe he just doesn't care. He enrolls Red in his school anyway.
By the time the final fight with King rolls around it is clear Herobrine cares about/is protective over his students. He makes sure the Skeleton, Enderman, and Spider are out of harm's way before truly attacking King.
But it happens again. And I have so many things to discuss about this give me a moment.
It feels like a last resort. Because it is. Herobrine is fighting a tractor beam of death, and right in front of him is the kid from years past; the one who was such a useful host.
And honestly I don't think Red is scared of Herobrine anymore. He's definitely traumatized and this new possession isn't going to help that by any means, but I think he trusts Herobrine in this moment to do the right thing.
Red steps forward, hesitantly. And Herobrine takes over.
It's not slow this time. It's instant and there is no fighting from Red. Either Herobrine wasn't putting up with any nonsense or Red let go and let the possession happen.
Maybe it was both.
Another note I'd like to bring up: I think Herobrine is a bit slower in Red's body. He still nearly defeats King several times, but there is a moment where King destroys the obsidian shell around Red and grabs him. If this was pure Herobrine, I think he could have easily avoided this and the following beatdown. But he didn't. Maybe being in a mortal body nulls some of his awareness. Maybe he's just getting old. Whatever it is, it's while in Red's body that Herobrine is defeated.
#I love them#I love them so much#they are so interesting and I think they should talk to each other#Herobrine's grown!#Red's probably tried to move past this when it happens again!#I need to pick their brains!#this is such a big moment for both of them good grief#this is awful /pos#im going to be ill#alan becker#animation vs minecraft#animator vs animation#rage's ramblings about sticks#im dying
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Winter is Coming - Rekindled schedule adjustment and plans for next year!
So it's that time of year now when conventions, markets, and expos for next year are rolling out their submission periods. So far I've gotten accepted to attend the Atlantic Entertainment Expo again (both venues so two shows), MiraCon, and I'm gonna be attending not one, not two, but THREE tattoo expos ! Which is definitely a lot, but I'm excited, it's gonna be good publicity and good money :' ) I'm also gonna be applying to HalCon, Geekquinox, and Animaritimes again, I didn't get in on HalCon this year and didn't find out about Geekquinox until submissions were done (and I only got in on Animaritimes at the last minute when they were looking for people to fill in) but if I do get into any (or all) of those, I'll have to play the fun game of "make sure none of these events land on the same weekend" LMAO
All that's to say, it's gonna be busy next year! (and all of those are the ones I actually decided to apply to, there are ones I did this past year that I'm not planning on doing again because they just didn't turn out to be as good as I had hoped). Thankfully, none of this is starting up until spring, so I'm gonna enjoy the winter off and get to work on new stuff to sell. I'm really eager to get through the rest of [AFTERBIRTH], it's still got quite some time until it's done but my plan is to pitch Thread of Fate to publishers once [AFTERBIRTH] is finished - and if it's not able to get in with those publishers, then I'm gonna pursue other means in getting it published, either digitally or traditionally. Time Gate is a series I've been working on for well over a decade of my life, and it's not something I want to keep throwing to the wolves of free-to-read platforms like WT. As much as I love being able to offer it for free, I want it to be taken more seriously than being just another free to read comic and that starts with me and how I choose to distribute it.
Right now working on all these things is sort of limiting due to the fact that I'm stuck on my iPad, but I'm making it work as best I can and I'm hoping to have the new PC setup going by the end of the year running with a new tablet (currently shopping around between an XP-pen and Huion, I don't want to get a Kamvas 22 Plus again if it's gonna shit the bed in 2 years like this one did, apparently this is a common problem from what I've seen :/)
So yeah, with all that in mind, I'm planning on adjusting Rekindled's update schedule. While I did initially want to offer a poll for y'all to choose between "shorter updates once a week" and "full updates once every 2 weeks", frankly I'm erring more towards the "every two weeks" one because it'll give me more actual time and room to work on everything else. Not to mention (and I'm sure you've all noticed by now) that I have a very specific way that I structure many of these episodes so making them shorter would sort of ruin that rhythm. I don't want to be sacrificing the comic's quality, pacing, or narrative progression for a schedule adjustment.
This isn't going to be an immediate change, I'm thinking of doing this sometime in December so that y'all can have a decent amount of heads up before the switch. I know it's gonna be a little painful to go to a slower release schedule but ultimately I think it's the best way to go so that I can balance all of the projects I have going on without sacrificing quality. Rekindled may be a free to read non-profit project, but I still hold myself to high standards and I want to do my best to deliver on those standards !
Thank you all so much for your patience and support. It seriously blows me away to see all of the wonderful comments, asks, and support for what I do here every day. I'm gonna do my best as well to respond to asks in my inbox as they come in, but please just know I get a LOT of them on a regular basis, it's sort of a Hydra situation where I respond to 1 or 2 and then get 4 more LOL That said, rest assured that I do read and appreciate each and every one of them <3 That also includes essay posts about LO, with LO returning in November I'll surely have more stuff to say about it so I'm gonna try and keep up as best I can :' )
On a final note, we're coming up to the one year anniversary of when I started posting actual episodes of Rekindled!! I'm so excited for this, I can't believe it's been a year!! And I have so much awesome stuff planned for the story that we're gonna see throughout the next year, I can't wait! Thanks so much for being a part of this project with me, I couldn't have asked for a better audience <3
(P.S. everything I have lined up for next year is lining up with the dry period for FF XIV between Endwalker and Dawntrail so I won't have distractions until the summer LMAOO)
#lore rekindled#lore rekindled comic#ask me anything#ama#anon ama#anon ask me anything#update post#announcement#genericpuff
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Pikes Small Fall 2024 Check-in Post!
I technically can still talk with friends but eh why not
IRL: o ye gods i have 2 interviews next week, one in person and one over the phone that may lead to an in person interview. They pay way more than my current job but I fear deceiving my supervisor to go to the in person ones. I'm in the middle of my annual review for my current job though so I think I'll get like. A very small raise and get asked why I've been coming in late for a while now (mainly due to traffic). Hrm.
It’s gonna rain for 2 weeks fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
In December I'm making up for not walking for my college graduation since I graduated during quarantine! I met Jamieson Price at my brother's graduation back in 2016 since he was announcing so my foolish hope is that he announces for mine. Sadly not a SoCal school so highly unlikely (especially with BS technology nowadays) but a fish can dream.
I also...spent way more than I realized this year so once I replenish enough funds I hope I can stick to a budget that my mom helped formulate. Getting the new jobs will help a bunch in those. Terrible timing since the Switch successor is coming out next year and who knows what guests will arrive at cons I can potentially go to. (Like if Jamieson Price, Akio Otsuka, Kenjiro Tsuda or Junichi Suwabe got invited to a con I might need to sell a kidney or 3). I tried using a Windows 11 laptop and it is somehow much slower than my 2019 laptop. Like. How. It's more recent. So I might need to invest in a tablet (like an iPad) or something instead since those tend to be faster. If it has HDMI ports I'd be set.
Also terrible timing for going on a budget since I want to get the Shunsui blind keychain in stores like GameStop or BoxLunch. I have Ukitake at least. I'd be willing to trade a spare Soifon that I have. Oh, and also Squishables plushies always tempt me as well as physical DVDs/games/manga but I am running out of storage space aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I want to get back into art but I need a bag to carry my art supplies and hopefully I can sneak in doodles when I run out of tasks at work. I'd draw on weekends but my computer takes up way too much space on my desk.
And I'm in a bit of a music rut, need to find new stuff to listen to. I usually like smooth cadences in things like electroswing, R&B or pop punk rock, but maybe with how hectic the world is becoming I can get into a new genre of music. Maybe folk? Maybe a ska renaissance that I keep hoping to happen in the public attention?
Animu: I just finished rewatching Digimon Adventure (1999)! I rewatched the dub since I'm nostalgic towards it. I recognized more voices than I did in my rewatch from 6th grade wrow. (I forgot Doug Erholz was in the OG series as Joe's brother and MachineSeaDramon). As a kid my favorite was probably TK or Kari but these days I relate way too much to Joe. I think my favorite arc is the Myotismon arc, and I really loved the Piedmon fight. The show really started feeling special after SkullGreymon appeared. It went from regular monster of the week show to something that explored more character depth, like when Sora felt she couldn't use the Crest of Love. Gonna start 02 next week.
I'm about to finish Delico's Nursery (thank GOD) and Moribito so I can finally move onto other stuff to either watch or rewatch. Maybe Big O, maybe ID: Invaded? Who can say. ...Probably after Beastars season 3 comes out.
Pokemon Horizons' next dubbed portion will air in February so I will see who voices Hassel and Larry then put it on hold until another character I like shows up. Unless something plot relevant happens. It's a good show but hhhhhhhh I only have so much time in my days now.
I'm liking Ranma 1/2! Originally I was a bit squicked about the bathing scenes but I really like the character interactions and the over-the-top jokes (like using your brother as a weapon, hilarious)
Tower of God season 2 is...there. Definitely in the gambler's fallacy where I want to finish this and have it be done with. I really miss season 1's animation.
Orb: On the Center of the Earth is a really intriguing drama. I'm hoping it has a scene that makes me think about life like with other dramas that I've enjoyed. It has sparks of it, so only time will tell.
I’m really enjoying Dandadan so far. I might not delve into the fandom side but I’m loving the art direction and the main character bickering. Dare I hope for a Mothman arc?
In my Jojo rewatch I’m 4 episodes away from finishing Battle Tendency. I’m not the biggest fan of Stardust Crusaders though so I’m gonna see if I can watch the OVAs instead
And finally, I'm not sure how many episodes Bleach TYBW part 3 will have but I'm lowkey waiting for when Shunsui's big moment happens. Hopefully it doesn't feel too rushed, as if we do follow the 13 episode structure we'd only have...5 episodes left to finish this. I'm also hoping that the light novels get animated. Or that Kubo makes the rest of the Hell arc an anime exclusive thing.
Videya games: I thought I could switch between Brothership and Dragon Quest 3, but hoo boy do I feel the grind more in 5 minutes of DQ3 than I do 20 in Brothership. Aside from the Luigi A controversy and odd way to do basic jumps/hammer attacks, I'm liking the combat again. Makes me want to go back to play Dream Team more.
I got Webfishing and I made my avatar Ogata. Life is goooooooooood. Also on some weekends I play with some buddies in either Granblue Versus, 100% Orange Juice, and recently we went through the prologue of Paranormasight. I grinded with some other friends in Granblue Relink and man I need to assemble that squad again so I can get Ambrosia.
Oh yeah, an IRL friend helped me start up collecting for Wii again! Meaning I can hopefully get Gamecube games too because while I do have Dolphin and Parsec, I still have trouble opening files, configuring my controller and configuring a memory card. True there's a risk of scratched discs and spending way more than I need to. Hm.
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Well I'm back... I took an unexpected four day Internet break because my router broke down. At least that's what I think happened.
At first I thought I'd used too much wifi (I had a cheap-o plan that always got throttled after watching like one long video on Youtube lol), but the speed was way, waaaaaay slower than any limit I've been hit with in the past. I couldn't load any website without hitting refresh about a hundred times and then it would load in pieces, and if it had video or images (like youtube or tumblr) it was 100% a no go. Couldn't even log into email. If I finally reached the login page, the signal would be lost while sending through my credentials, and then it'd be an hour before the page would load for me to try again... Absolutely nightmarish
Anyway, it couldn't have been the throttling. Then I thought maybe it was some kind of maintenance in my area?? Because I'm never had a problem here before in six years. Or someone who moved in was a real wifi hog...? But even that seemed impossible. Again, never experienced anything like it...
But it just seemed so weird that it could be hardware issue! Because I took my router (which was a portable kind) to work with me twice, and it worked just fine out that way. Only in my apartment it refused to move faster than a snail. I really thought it had to be a signal issue.
Conveniently, I also don't have a working phone right now. I was planning to use the internet to buy a new one on an installment plan... and then lost internet bahahah. So I couldn't call my ISP about the problem either.
So today, day five of no internet, I took the router to a store that sells the same plan, and they had no idea either (even after calling the ISP themselves), but thought it must be the hardware. And although I was a little skeptical, they did confirm that the signal should be fine in my area, and they also told me about new plans that cost the same as my old one but are waaay better. No throttling!!! Of course I was sold on that haha. I love the idea of actually being able to use the internet in the evenings during "peak" hours (still can't quite believe it... this is my first week to test it so fingers crossed!). So even if they'd been able to fix my old router, I guess I'd have bought this new one anyway.
It took three hours to get it though. Partly because I'm a foreigner and the order of my name and my middle name scared them haha. But they were super nice and helpful to me the whole time and took care of everything. I came home, plugged everything in, and voila, perfect internet. I got a non-portable unit this time because it's got a lot more power. I had the portable one originally because my job involved a lot of traveling, but I left that job years ago and just kept the portable router because it still worked, and my habit is to keep things until they literally fall apart on me xP I'm very much hoping to be amazed by what the non-portable one can do...
Dunno how I'm gonna make it through the backlog on my dash but I'm so happy to be online again~
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"I'm screwed." It was a soft admission and one that had come out of nowhere. The two had just been sitting there in silence, Luna between the two of them. (Head on Barton's knee. Traitor.) Leonard honest to god didn't think he could fall for someone like this again.. yet there he was. In love.
God Dammit..
" Just take me out of my misery Barton. Just shoot me off into the DARK ABYSS." He was sure that Clint had already put one and two together, he was OBNOXIOUSLY smart, no matter how much he liked to pretend he wasn't.
@thefleetsfinest
Today felt like one of those slower days, met roughly around the same time as they always did and Clint's stretching slow. Feeling parts of his body pop as he does so, and watching for Leonard to experience the same thing that came with age. He absolutely had not felt like pushing himself today, and than the good doctor brought his mutt to yoga.
That wasn't particularly out of the unusual but he consider pup-days to be slower days when they probably going to go through their routines much slower or even stop midway way through, like they were doing now. Sat on the floor together, and not a word was needed to be uttered. HE SHOULD HAVE HAD MORE COFFEE. However, getting up to go fulfill that desire was most unappealing thought right now.
Legs had been straight out in front of him, and he had ben leaning forward to touch his toes which came with ease despite his middle age now. That form of stretching abandoned when Luna turns her head to stare at him, big brown pup eyes and he's reaching to scratch behind her ears until the corgi's head is resting on his knees and Clint decides to stop moving all together.
Keeps himself propped up with his arms slightly behind his back while he simply breathes, relaxes until Leonard breaks the silence first. I'M SCREWED. That makes him makes a soft ha, that mostly lives in his throat. Those first two words don't give him much context, but all that he really knew was that it was time for one of their chats. They could be about anything, and Clint knew the rules. Whatever is said stays between the grave and morning yoga.
It doesn't sound like one of the when-I-used-to-drink talks, or any of their weighty things. It's not the kind of aa sounding talk either, or that's good new. Not that he minded, this was one of the few spaces where Clint ever expressed how his gut turned when he needed a drink and has denied himself every year in recent years.
OUT OF MY MISERY. . . . DARK ABYSS ⸻ Now Clint knows what he was talking about, and he lets himself laugh softly. That's tad dramatic, and Clint plays right off that. ❝ Okay, meet me where I can jettison you off later. ❞ That almost sounded dirty, which makes Clint laugh a little more at that own thought. ❝ I was gonna ask, do you ever think the Captain would let me jettison someone into space to insta-freeze-explode. . . . But if you're so willing. . . . ❞ He's not being serious at all and he could hazard a guess onto WHO he was talking about it.
❝ Cardiac means heart, right? ❞ He asks, as if he's an idiot who doesn't know how to add or what words longer than four were. HEART DOCTOR is the point he's making with that question. ❝ That sounds like the most typical thing ever ⸻ Like I'm pretty sure Peter's read the role reversal version of this story in a novel before. ❞
Clint's attention returns to Luna, giving her more scritches and he thinks he could really get something out of this. ❝ I won't say anything, and I won't even tease you if Peter and I can have Luna for a week. ❞ He will always take opportunity for dog time.
#ic; clint barton#asks; clint barton#thefleetsfinest#rp; thefleetsfinest#clint barton; thefleetsfinest#verse; linda carter; to heal across the stars (thefleetsfinest)#verse; clint barton; to boldly go (ss; crisispider)#ships; thefleetsfinest; breathe in and come close and feel this and feel me and feel it all (Len and Lin)#linda carter; thefleetsfinest
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Windows 11 is also just, weirdly slower and harder to use than 10. Like I'm sure it's as speedy as 10 but I've noticed a number of things that 11 just does worse.
The boot time in 11 is noticeably slower than 10's. This might be hardware dependant but my laptop is most definitely more powerful than my PC, why is it booting up slower.
The context menus in 11 are unintuitive and takes more time to use. 10 gave you everything you needed and then some right then and there. 11 feels the need to go "Nono, these are all the ones you need!" and gives you a curated context menu that may or may not have something you need. Then if you don't, you can click a show more button and it GIVES you 10's context menu! It's like they knew 10's was objectively better, but still felt like replacing it with an inferior version and make it a selling point!
File Explorer, while just being a reskinned version of 10's, is worse than 10's in every way. Not only does it try and push cloud saving on you, a file storage method less reliable than local storage, but it removed features that were a blessing on 10! Why can't I drag files through the address bar anymore? Why out of everything to remove, did you remove a genuinely useful feature?
OneDrive. Just in general. I get it, cloud saving is useful and Microsoft not only owns OneDrive but also Windows. Put two and two together. Easy millions of customers. The problem lies when you incorporate it so much into Windows that it's actively bothersome. It tries to make you use it every step of the way until you either give up and use it, or disable it fully (cuz of course Microsoft would make it hard and un-user friendly on purpose). And then if you try and use it without paying for more storage, you're only given 5GB to use. Now, if you're tech savvy like me, you would know 5GB was a lot in the 90s. That today could be majority filled by a few music albums. It is a pitiful amount of storage to give for free, and they expect you to be happy with it or pay a subscription for more. For every fault Google has, they at least give you the courtesy of 15 GB across your account. 5GB on a cloud service that you feel pressured to use on a device you plan to use for countless years is absurd.
THE SETUP OH MY GOD SETTING UP WINDOWS 11 IS A HELL I DO NOT WISH ON ANYONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW ANY BETTER. Not only does it require you to be online for the entire setup, but it outright forces you to use your Microsoft account to continue the setup. Local accounts are a thing of the past I guess! Granny might not know what a Microsoft account is but she better learn quick because she's not gonna be able to use the flashy new laptop her grandchild got her until she does! There's a way to bypass this but it's so hidden away and unfriendly to the user that it feels like your only option is the Microsoft account. Then it gives you all these different options that either do nothing or are just methods of nabbing your data. Then you're free to the desktop except NOT REALLY because if you skipped anything, every so often it'll bother you in a full screen banner asking you to "Finish setting up pwetty pwease :3" and it will keep bothering you about it until you either do it or turn off a very specific, hidden away setting in the settings. It's fucking awful and objectively the worst Windows OS to setup. How do you fuck up setting up an OS?! You had this down pat in the 90s and 2000s!!!
Windows 11 as a whole is style over substance. If you completely ignore under the hood differences, Windows 11 at its core is Windows 10 reskinned. But everything now has these flashy new animations and rounded corners and translucency! It's like Vista and 7 again! EXCEPT IT ISN'T BECAUSE VISTA AND 7 DIDN'T SACRIFICE USABILITY AND PERFORMANCE FOR GLASS WINDOWS AND FADE IN & OUT (ok well Vista did but 7 improved upon it). Trying to resize a window from a corner is so needlessly difficult because of the rounded corners making it unclear where the hitbox actually is, and the animations for the start menu and everything else is so clunky and unneeded. Is it cool the first time? Yes, it is. Is it cool the 1,037,028th time when I just want to quickly open something? FUCKING NO! ITS BOTHERSOME.
Listen, as a tech person who is not only savvy in the medium to an extent but also enjoys and cares for said medium, I'm well aware most of these issues are things the average user wouldn't give two shits about. But the reason why I complain is because average users shouldn't be subject to such hell also. In the process of trying to make a more user friendly Windows, Microsoft made a Windows so user unfriendly and counterintuitive that it's actively frustrating to use if you don't know the right things to do to make it not frustrating. And with Microsoft's hyperfixation on AI bleeding into 11 as a whole with Copilot, it's only getting worse.
I can only hope the next Windows OS is a better experience across the board to use for both the average customer and the tech savvy, and given The Cycle™, that is a likely probability. But also given Microsoft and Windows 11's state right now, it wouldn't surprise me if the next OS is just as bad, if not worse.
All this to say: Linux users? I understand you now.
... least it's not as bad as MacOS eh?
getting new technology feels more infuriating every year. got a new computer for the first time in 8 years and everything about windows 11 and how it handles onedrive is driving me up the wall
#long post#sorry for the rant but i am a massive tech enthusiast forced to suffer with Windows 11 and I Have Opinions#if you're still using windows 10 then stick with it for as long as you can. its the objectively better OS
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A Sister's Love
Pairing: Platonic Damian Wayne x Al Ghul!Reader
Warnings: Injuries and blood. Drugging, Trafficking and sexual assult but these are not the main themes.
Word Count: 4.9K
Summary: You realize you have a lot to learn about yourself outside of your little brother, Damian's, shadow.
A/N: Was originally gonna make this a Dick Grayson x Reader but realized it would be weird cuz of mixed families and stuff. And I don't wanna be pushing the boundaries of incest.
Growing up in the League of Assassins meant a lot of things for you. It meant that you were raised to be powerful and commanding. It meant you knew how to kill a man in 47 different ways and counting. It meant that you were raised to rightfully think that you were the best.
Although for every good thing there was always cons. Your schedule was rigid and your peers were unfeeling. Your mother most of all, but that didn't stop you from trying to win her affection. It was the reason why when your little brother was born you felt threatened.
That was until you met little Damian. Your mother had handed him to you with a smile of pride that she never showed you and you hated him. But then you saw his precious little face, a nose tinier than a button and adorable lips that were curled into a pout. He was so beautiful.
Since then, you put any differences you might have had with your mother behind you. According to Ra’s it would have been a mistake to show Damian such tenderness, to teach him about loyalty to your heart, instead of without it.
But Talia couldn't ignore the tug she felt in her heart seeing you and Damian together. You still worked hard, harder than she had ever seen before, now determined not to show that you were weak and have them take your brother from you. Damian followed your example, training to her approval, however taxing it was for him.
And more importantly, Damian loved you. You were the first woman he had ever loved and he was smart enough to know that would never be a mistake. You were his shelter in a storm, his fire in the cold. You were the best sibling that anyone could ever even dream of.
But then you had to part. At age 10, Damian went to live with his father, Bruce Wayne. You had never met the man when he was with your mother and you assumed you wouldn't need to, he wasn't your father.
Both you and Damian didn't want to leave each other. You'd miss your little brother and you'd miss the feeling in your chest whenever you'd look at him. Damian would miss home; he would miss your presence and he would miss the familiarity. But he couldn't stay.
That's something you learnt at the League. Damian couldn't stay, with you. He was meant for bigger things than you.
Another thing you learnt was that you didn't have to stay either. You wanted to see the world, see what everything else had in store for you. And your mother, bless her, gave you her blessing.
Of all the things the league taught you, there were things they missed out on. And a part of you was thankful for that. Because you enjoyed the feeling of wide-eyed wonderment when you stepped into a train station for the first time ever.
You had never tasted a chocolate muffin before, you realized as you stuffed your face at a local bakery. Coffee and chocolate muffins went well together. You liked sweet things better than spicy things, you noted when you didn't enjoy the tteokbokki you bought at a Korean food stall.
People were kind, not foolish. They smiled at you when you came in and genuinely asked you where you were headed. Like the woman you met on the tram who was heading to Washington DC. Even through the short ride, the two of you had bonded and she had left you with her phone number and a promise that if you were ever in DC, you would ring her up. Diana was trusting, too trusting. You could have assumed it was because she was stupid, but you wanted to believe it was because she was smarter than even you.
Some people were kind like her but of course, some were impolite and pig-headed. You of course didn't waste any time putting them in their place. Maybe that was why you shouldn't have any faith in humanity.
But isn't humanity just the thing you should be putting faith in?
It was fun at first, discovering new things, seeing how people really lived outside of books and things taught to you back at the League. You knew everything, you weren't naive enough to be oblivious but reading about something was miles apart from actually experiencing it.
After a while however, you got lonely, it was a huge world with people constantly moving and you've come to realize that unless you're with somebody, you can't really move from your place. Instead, you'd be stuck watching all of them. So, you sought after your brother.
It was easy enough to track Bruce Wayne, he lived in a house large enough to be seen from outer space. Getting to Gotham took longer than you expected. Time passed so easily when you didn't have a purpose but now that you had somewhere you needed to be, the train couldn't go any slower.
Gotham City was less gloomy than people made it out to be. The sun was shining and the city was bustling. In some ways, it seemed a little homey. Maybe that was because you didn't have to worry about someone hurting you. If anything, they should pray that they don't choose you as their next victim.
Of course, you could've gone to Wayne Manor and introduced yourself civilly but you wanted to see Damian more than anything and didn't want to delay it any longer. And more than that, you wanted to see Damian is his cute little school uniform.
That's what led you to wait outside of the well-reputed Gotham University, waiting patiently for the bell to ring and students to file out of it. You already knew that they wouldn't come out singing like in the movies but a very small fraction of you still hoped.
Your heartrate increased with every passing minute, excited to meet your brother after nearly a year of being apart. Eventually, the bell did ring and students began trickling out of the doors, looking like bumble bees, excitedly zipping around and talking to their friends.
'Would this have been my life if I was never born in the League?' You wondered, looking at a girl who was animatedly chatting with her friend, arms interlocked as they moved towards the parking lot where their parents were waiting.
When you finally saw Damian, you suddenly felt out of place. Like an outsider watching someone else's brother when you saw his eyes lock onto someone in the commons. Even though you weren't on the school campus, you could still recognize who it was.
Richard Grayson, oldest son of Bruce Wayne, waiting to pick up your little brother on a motor cycle.
And for the first time in your life, you experienced insecurity, watching them greet each other like brothers. The feeling was sour and you wondered if it was a mistake coming here, thinking that you still had a place here.
It was true, people didn't move from their place unless they had someone to go with. You hadn't felt fulfilled like that since your brother stopped being at your side. He was everything you knew. It was just your mistake for thinking that in the year apart your brother wouldn't have found anyone either.
***
"Drake, pull up the security cameras from today at my school parking lot." Damian ordered, stepping into the Batcave.
"No 'Hello', no 'How you doing?', it's always 'Tim, do this' 'Drake, do that'," Tim commented sarcastically but still pulled up whatever he needed, "And then as soon as I give you what I want, you're going to forget me again. And not even visit the kids."
Dick spared him a laugh at his dramatic scene, ruffling his hair as greeting and then turned his attention to the screen. The footage was played at double the speed until Damian's eyes locked onto just what he wanted to find.
It was just for a second, when Dick's motorcycle had zoomed past but that was all he needed. Damian had seen your face and it wasn't any mistake, he'd know you even if he was blind. Even though he was so sure it had been you, he still couldn't hide the way his body froze, eyes wide when he saw your face.
It was the same face he'd see every night before he went to bed and the very first person he wanted to see every time he woke up. Your image was what came into his mind when he thought of being nurtured, when he thought of being safe.
There was a time when he was younger, too young, there was a thunder storm. He doesn't remember much from the night, just hiding his face against your chest and you wrapping a blanket around him. His mother trained him even harder the next day, until he almost dropped but he'd never forget curling up to your warmth. Not even now, when he knew that thunder storms were the least of his fears.
It was as simple as that. With his father and brothers, he didn't have to worry about looking weak, he didn't think of love as a weakness, rather he considered it as the fuel behind strength. Yes, his father taught him well. And now he would show you just how much he's grown. So, you can be proud of him.
"We need to find her."
"Why? Who is she?"
"My sister."
***
Of all the things you wanted to experience, visiting a bar was one of them. Was the air really enough to intoxicate you? Were you really going to lose all sense when you stepped into it? Would be able to drink your troubles away?
You were sorely disappointed. The alcohol didn't taste good, it burned when you swallowed it and made your tongue feel fuzzy. The music was so loud that your brain began throbbing against your skull to the beat of the song.
Men were picking fights and women were having fun but even then, you couldn't find it in yourself to get up and actually have fun. I mean, how were you supposed to? How was cosying up against a drunk man supposed to make you feel better? How was getting lost in throngs of sweaty people who didn't know what personal space was meant to improve your mood?
If anything, it just reminded you of just how pathetic your life was.
You were realizing you had no purpose. Damian was all you had known for years now, knowing only to protect him with your life and love him with your heart. Who were you without him? What did you like? What made you happy outside from your duty at the league?
A man knocking into you brought you out of your thoughts, which had been happening all night. Except this man stopped in front of you and gave you a smile that turned your stomach upside down.
"Sorry about that pretty lady, let me buy you a drink to make up for it." He spoke with a voice that was trying to be smooth but instead sounded like metal scraping over each other.
"No, thank you." You said sharply, not yet done with your Manhattan anyway. You were barely enjoying your time here as it was and you were sure another drink wouldn't change your mind.
"Not a fan?"
You shook your head at him, choosing to humour the man.
"Then let me buy you another one, if you don't like it then you have nothing to lose."
You pretended to giggle at him and he swelled with pride. Did he think he was winning?
"One Boulevardier." He told the bartender who nodded and began preparing the drink. Until it was ready, you indulged the man in front of you who reeked of cigarettes and alcohol.
He placed the drink in front of you and if you hadn't known that it would burn going down and turn you into a shell of yourself, you might have been curious to what it tasted like.
"You see that dude over there?" He nodded to a man standing in the other corner of the bar and you turned to look at him. Another man, covered in tattoos who didn't look any different than the one standing behind you.
"He's my pal, owns the bar. Ask him and he'll hook you up with free drinks tonight. For a price, of course."
You turned back around to face the man and out of the corner of your eye saw something dissolve into your drink. It was only for a second but you saw the last remaining grains turn invisible and you definitely noticed the way the once steady drink was now swirling into a vortex in the middle.
"Drink up, princess."
You smirked. Tonight, might be fun after all.
***
This was boring.
You had been pretending to be unconscious for about 40 minutes while these men drove you to some undisclosed location. Their conversations were unbelievably dry and it's not like you had anyone else to talk to. Everyone else who might have been even mildly interesting were knocked unconscious.
Eventually they pulled up to some sort of holding facility and if your assumptions were correct then this would be a midpoint before they sold all the girls here to some sort of pimp.
Once they lugged you off the truck and threw you into a room with so many other people, you could hear their breathing did you open your eyes. It seemed like this was some sort of abandoned butcher or meat factory, judging by the ominous hooks hanging above your head and the metal walls. The door had been bolted shut, the only way to look through it was a small glass window.
Only after you finished taking in your surroundings did you even look at the other women who had been trapped in the room along with you. Your stomach turned.
There were so many unsuspecting faces who looked like they didn't sign up for this. Half of them looked under the influence of something, sweating profusely even in their sleep, faces scrunched up in pain. The other looked like they were forcibly taken, bruises covering their skin, hair and clothes in disarray and more than half of them had either a black eye or a swollen lip.
Maybe it was their fault for not being trained, that's what someone at the league would've said. But isn't it their captors’ fault for misusing their training, their strength, for something as vile as this?
You decided to wait, you couldn't assume that this small group of girls was the only one in the confines of the building. How many more were here?
You weren't feeling overwhelmed, not at all, not with the weapons that were littering you. A kunai hidden is either of your boots, throwing stars in your pockets hidden underneath your vest and a war fan in your pocket. You could handle these clowns without even looking up.
But it wasn't your life you were concerned about. It was the lives of these underaged, vulnerable girls who had fallen prey to these monsters.
While you were waiting a couple of the girls started to wake up. Some were still heavily drugged, still groggy when their eyes fluttered open and unable to focus onto anything. Others shot up straight as an arrow and began crying, screaming, begging for them to let them out.
They were ignored, by both their captors and you. Why try and reassure then when you weren't sure what was going to happen. More importantly, why throw off the monsters lurking outside the door that there was one woman who hadn't been phased.
Instead, you just stared blankly, trying to get comfortable and hear anything through the walls. Eventually, you heard the sound of footsteps coming towards the room. You covered the lower half of your face with a scarf, making sure that anyone who left here alive today, wouldn't be able to remember your face. Whether it be as a saviour or their punisher.
The girls whimpered and curled into one another, crying quietly and you felt sympathy. There was no way they'd be able to move forward from this without having fear stab at their heart with every step they took. You could only hope they had something in their life that would make them feel safe.
For tonight, you'd be that for them.
A few men opened the door with a cruel smile, stepping inside for a second before bolting it shut. They flaunted guns and other weapons to the girls, finding pleasure where there should be compassion and worry. You were disgusted watching their smirks twist maniacally when the girls cried harder seeing them brandish their weapons.
One of the men stepped forward and grabbed the girl closest to him who begged and cried to spare her. His disgusting hand might as well be made of acid because you almost felt the sick burn when it snaked between her legs and copped a feel while she sobbed and screamed, trying to fight him off.
You grabbed one of your weapons and returned their sick grins with one of your own.
It was going to be hard to cop a feel when he can't feel anything.
You were going to break each and every bone in his hand to ensure that.
***
"Can I borrow your phone please?" You asked the bloody and broken man by your feet. He glared at you and spat blood on your boots, unable to do anything else. You sighed and faked a pout.
"Is it here?" You wondered, holding the dirtied boot over his ribs and his eyes widened, catching drift of what you were about to do. You rammed your foot into his broken ribs, courtesy of yourself, and he screamed bloody murder. Music to your ears.
"Apparently not. Want me to check your pants?" You asked, raising a brow and he frantically shook his head, using whatever strength left to pull out his phone from his pocket and you smiled, thanking him quietly.
"Now, let's hope that one blow is enough to put you out of my misery." You sang, punching him right in the face and he passed out. Lightweight.
You took a look around the place, seeing bodies littered over the place like confetti. Blood was scattered on the ground and you're sure if people looked hard enough, they'd find someone's teeth. You on the other hand looked fine.
You sat on the floor, crossing your legs comfortably, tired after the fight and dialled a number onto the phone.
"Hello, police?"
"Yes, how can we help you?"
"Well, there's a sex trafficking scam going on at my location. Quite shoddy but they have a number of women trapped here and it would be nice if you could send backup to have them escorted home safely."
"A sex trafficking scam?"
"Well, it could be just a regular trafficking scam but I'm not too sure."
"All right, I'll have someone check it out."
"Good, and I realize you might get a lot of calls like this but please don't talk to me like I'm an idiot. Tell your people to send a couple of ambulances as well, you'll need them."
"Of course."
You could only hope the person on the other end of the line would eat their words when it was on the front of the newspaper. For now, your work was done.
In the meantime, how were you going to get anywhere from here? Where even were you? Was there anyone even conscious here who could give you directions? Or would you have to call the police again to find out where to go?
Not that you'd wait long enough for them actually arrive here. You'd return to the bar way before that for another drink. Maybe now you'd actually be able to enjoy one.
Just as you were about to leave, you heard a creak coming from the other end of the warehouse. It echoed through the halls and you leapt to your feet, soundless moving to hide in the shadows and pulling out a kunai.
The footsteps that followed it were light and airy, barely even touching the ground. They were trained, whoever they were. You kept your ears open in order to hear something.
"Whoever was here was trained." You heard someone comment.
"Are you really that stupid, Nightwing? It's obvious that my sister was the one who took out this ring and reported it." Came the snappy reply back and your breath caught in your chest. Make no mistake, that was your brother's voice.
"We must find her."
He was actually looking for you? He knows you're here? You're not entirely surprised, you haven't exactly been careful or stealthy when it came to concealing your face around Gotham. A mistake on your part but you couldn't have been more relieved.
You still remained quiet, not wanting to disturb the flow, not wanting to interrupt. You had the mind of a soldier but when there was no one to follow you seemed more like a sheep. It made you feel slight shame, that you were unable to stick up for yourself despite being so many things.
Maybe, the league wasn't the best thing for you.
Immediately you scraped the thought from your mind, berating yourself for even thinking that. The league had given you everything, everything you were today was because of them. You were strong and calculating, the leagues proud soldier.
You were proud of your roots, thankful that you grew up to be the person you were. They had given you everything, and your brother was just one of the gifts that you had been blessed with in your life.
"Damian." You spoke softly, stepping out of the shadows. His head snapped towards you, eyes widening when he took in your form. It really was you. His sister.
Damian wasted no time in bounding towards you and you knelt down to meet his eye level, catching him with open arms. A part of your heart sang when you realized he was still small enough to fit in your arms. He still held you close. He still loved you.
"I've missed you, Ya Amar." You spoke softly, cradling his head that was buried in the junction of your neck.
"I as well, Okhti."
***
Damian was ecstatic that you were in Gotham. Of course, it didn't look like it to anyone but everyone who knew him well could tell that he was happy that his sister was home with him. He didn't wait for even two seconds when you got to the Batcave (much to Bruce's surprise) to show you all his pets.
The next few days would be considered the best of his life.
Damian wanted to be as close to you as possible, sitting near you during meals, training with you, talking with you, even going as far to sneak into your temporary bedroom at night for cuddles. He certainly got more comfortable showing affection since the last time you were around.
He showed you his hobbies like painting and sketching and you were impressed. He had the skills to be doing something like this? Damian had picked up many new talents and many new stories since you last saw him and he was eager to share them all with you.
The next few days would be considered the worst of your life.
You had found Damian now, so why didn't you still feel fulfilled? Why did you feel like something was missing? Like this wasn't meant for you? Why weren't you satisfied?
Why did you feel envious that Damian got to experience so many things? Why did you feel resentment against him when you realized you never got the same things he has?
Your life felt like it amounted to nothing.
You loved your brother but so far you had just been living for him. And now that you realized there were parts of the world that you wanted to see. There were thoughts in your mind that were of your own and desires that you didn't have to explain to anyone. As long as it made sense to yourself.
And you realize one thing with an aching heart.
You couldn't stay here in Gotham.
"Does Damian know?" Bruce asked you one day when you had asked him a favour. Bruce so far had been a little cold and unfeeling ever since you had met him in the Batcave uninvited. His feelings towards you got more negative when you gave an offhanded comment about how you thought he was taller. But he was the only one you could ask for a favour. He was the father to your beloved brother and you could only hope he would offer you the same consideration.
You had asked him for a flight to Washington, to see if Diana really meant what she said. To take a leap of faith for the first time in your life.
You shook your head no, "Not yet. I'm hoping he will take the news well. It's not like I'm leaving forever. I just—I need to—" You trailed off, unable to find the right words.
Bruce nodded, "I understand. Just tell him before you go. I don't think I've ever seen him this happy before."
"It makes me feel worse." You admitted, feeling a little guilty. How could you not feel happy at your brother’s happiness?
"You need some time to figure out that your world is yours. No one else should determine how you feel about yourself."
"You are very wise," You said softly, "Thank you."
***
"I love you dearly, Damian." You tried to coerce him from his room where he had locked himself in only 5 minutes ago. No doubt he was sulking since he found out that you would be leaving for DC in two days’ time.
"If you did, you wouldn't be leaving!" His voice was muffled, as if his face was buried in his pillow or even Titus. You had been trying to coax him into open the door for 20 minutes now and had multiple offers from Grayson, which you turned down.
"Oh, for the love of—Damian Wayne, you open this door right now!" It was silent for a moment before you heard the lock click open and took that as the indication from him to step into his room.
It was large and from the moment you stepped in, it was easy to tell the space was his. There were swords mounted on the wall, paintings on the wall adjacent to it. His desk was tidy and in the corner of his room, there were multiple easels and sketch pads.
Damian was sulking on his bed and you sighed, feeling guilty. You sat beside him and ran your fingers through his hair. Even though he was upset with you, he still sank into your touch, feeling comforted by mere contact.
"It's not forever, Damian. Wherever I'm going, I'm going to come back. I just need some time to myself." You tried to explain.
"But why!"
"The league taught me well, Damian. But it taught me to live like a soldier, but not as a person. There are so many things that I don't know about myself. What do I like? What do I want to do with my life? And I need to figure it out for myself."
"Why can't you do that here?"
You gave him a pained look and realization dawned on him, "Because of me."
"Damian, in the time we spent apart you learnt so many things about yourself. That you like animals, that you like art. There are so many blanks in my life and I need the distance to figure it out. I need to understand myself." You explained wistfully.
It was true, there were so many blanks in your life. You didn't even know what food you liked better, what hobbies you enjoyed. You wanted to experience new things, without the influence of Damian, without relying on him. And more importantly, you were scared you would put Damian above yourself time and time again.
It was all you knew. Damian was worth more than your life, worth more than your heart. But if that was true, you wanted to know at least what your heart was worth to you. If you didn't hold any value to yourself, it would be foolish to think you would to anyone else.
You needed the distance. You needed something new. You wanted to dive into uncharted waters and figure out the magic for yourself, without anyone to help you.
"It's not forever," You reminded gently, "I'm going to come back, I can promise you that."
Damian began leaning until his head was settled in your lap and you chuckled, gently scratching his scalp and he nestled into your belly. Hard to believe this was the same boy who left only a year ago. You wondered if you would change as much as he did or if you were stuck in your ways now.
"Okay," He said, voice muffled and you smiled, "I hope you find what you're looking for."
"Thank you for your blessing, Ya Amar. It means the world to me. I love you; you know that."
"I do." He said, now wrapping his arms around your waist, "I love you too."
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The Beach
Kai Parker x Female Reader
Request: Sex on a beach, kind of rough yet soft.
Word Count: 2496
Warnings: Smuuuuut, lots of smut, dom!kai, mild hands tied
The MF friend group invited Kai and his best friend to stay at one of their family’s beach houses for the weekend as what they called a peace offering. They weren’t very friendly or welcoming of Kai from the moment they all met him, no matter how hard he tried to make things right with them. Kai’s best friend guilted them into feeling bad about rejecting him as he was trying to improve himself, so they decided to invite them both to their beach weekend to test how true it was and make peace from it.
All of the MF friends had their rooms picked out since they were kids. Kai, his best girl friend, and the Salvatore brothers were the only new ones without signature rooms to sleep in, so they all bunked in the old kids’ room that still had two sets of bunk beds.
“Great, agree to a beach weekend, get to bunk with a sociopath and his sidekick, and sleep in beds made for 12-year old’s… ‘oh sure, Damon, come to the beach it’ll be fuuuun,’ can’t see how this could go terribly wrong,” Damon ranted on about how unhappy he was with the arrangements.
Kai announced that he’d be taking the top bunk above his best friend, but that didn’t really matter because they both knew they’d end up in the same bed anyways. They did everything together, and that included both sleeping and causing immense sexual tension they were both too nervous to address with each other.
She tried to sleep in the bottom bunk alone but couldn’t fall asleep. Kai peaked his head from above to see if she was awake and found her with her eyes closed, so he poked her until she opened them.
“What,” she asked with scrunched brows.
“Come sleep with me,” he whined and dangled his hand over the railing with a strand of her hair attached.
She didn’t have to be begged, she immediately got out of her bed and climbed onto his, laying her head on his chest and played with his rings until they both fell asleep.
They both woke the next morning to a loud, dramatic exclamation of “oh, gross” coming from Damon seeing them together.
She rolled onto her back and rubbed her eyes with one hand, “oh don’t be jealous just because you can’t get any, Damon,” she teased resulting in a fake gag in response.
Everyone got ready for the beach before breakfast.
She stood in a large two-sink bathroom after putting on a red bikini top and black shorts and started brushing her hair.
Kai walked in wearing shorts and a t-shirt, “that’s what you’re wearing to the beach?” she asked.
“Have you seen any ocean documentary on National Geographic? I’m not going in that water,” Kai joked and stood behind her, grabbing the brush from her hand to brush her hair for her.
When he was done, he placed the brush on the counter and went to attempt a ponytail again even though he has never succeeded at making a good one.
“You’d be better off putting sunscreen on me than trying to do my hair again,” she said as a joke even though she was serious.
Kai rolled his eyes, but he knew he couldn’t do hair anyways, so he reached onto the counter for the sunscreen and put some in his hands to rub on her back and arms as they fought with each other while she simultaneously tried to put her hair up.
Kai closed the sunscreen bottle, forgetting about her front side and her legs and started to walk out, “you missed a spot,” she spoke before he could turn around.
“You can get the rest, can’t you? You’re capable.”
She rolled her eyes and handed him the sunscreen bottle again. He started rubbing lotion on her stomach from behind, looking at her in the mirror until his movements got slower and he seemed lost in thought.
“What’r you thinking about?” she asked.
“Oh, you know…” the attention came back to Kai’s eyes as he looked up to meet her gaze in the mirror, “just about all the mixed signals you give me,” he trailed one of his hands up her torso to her neck and wrapped his hand around it, leaning in to whisper in her ear while not taking his eyes off hers.
“About how one day we’re besties and the next you want my hands all over you…”
She didn’t pull away. They both knew they wanted this, but neither of them would say anything until now.
Kai moved his other hand to the waist of her shorts as he did a once over with his eyes at her in the mirror before returning his gaze back to hers, “so which one is it today,” he asked in a dark tone.
She was at a loss for words. They’ve been intimate together in ways such as seeing each other naked after one got out of the shower or making out because they were bored, but they’ve never been this straightforwardly intimate.
After her silence, Kai trailed the hand he placed on her waistband to cup one of her breasts and tightened the grip around her throat, “is this what you want?” he asked harshly, “you want my hands all over you?”
Her breath hitched as she tried to breath to say something. Kai moved his hand from her breast and slipped it under her shorts, removing the hand around her throat to replace the one that left her chest.
He massaged her breasts roughly, nibbling on her neck as he rubbed soft circles over her clothed core, resulting in soft moans disguised as breaths.
“Just say the words,” Kai said before he shifted his attention to the other side of her neck, “do you like my hands all over you?”
“Yes,” she whispered softly before Kai removed himself from touching her, “that’s too bad,” he whispered and kissed her on the cheek before leaving and announcing from the other room, “we’re heading down in 10, hurry and get ready.”
She stood dumbfounded and clumsily finished getting ready.
When they got to the beach, they all set up their own tents to lay in. Her and Kai were the only ones not wanting to get in the water, so they laid in the sand while the others walked around elsewhere.
She fell asleep laying on her towel in the sand with her shorts unbuttoned and sunhat over her face. Kai couldn’t help but stare at her almost the whole time thinking about how it felt to touch her that morning.
When he couldn’t refrain from it anymore, he took the hat from off her face and woke her up.
“You forgot to put sunscreen on your legs,” he excused.
“Ok, so?” she barked.
He toyed with the string on the front of her bikini top that was keeping it from falling off, “so… you should get in the tent and let me put sunscreen on your legs…” he said nervously.
“Oh, ‘put sunscreen on me’, huh?” she air quoted him and pretended to be annoyed before crawling into the tent anyways.
Kai got in behind her and zipped it up behind him.
She sat with her legs crisscrossed and opened a bag of candy while she looked at her phone. The only thing he could think about was untying the top that was barely hiding anything and how gorgeous her hair looked in her messy ponytail, he always loved her hair.
He sat on his knees in front of her and rubbed both his hands up either side of the inner parts of her thighs.
She looked up from her phone and put a piece of candy in her mouth, “I didn’t hear you get any sunscreen, kid,” she teased.
Kai moved her phone and the bag behind him and brought his face close to hers, moving his hands farther up her thighs, “we both know I didn’t wake you up because of sunscreen.”
He closed the gap between their lips and pulled the string that held her bikini together in the front, exposing her breasts before he pulled away from her face to watch himself toy with one of her nipples.
“Who wants their hands all over who now, huh?” she teased again.
Kai grabbed her bikini top and both of her wrists and began to tie them together, “not me,” he smirked.
He moved his hand under her knee to uncross her legs so he could sit between them as he laid her down and she reached to place her tied up hands on his waistband, “too bad I can still touch you then,” she continued to tease.
He put one hand back to her throat as the other met underneath her shorts again, “I can make that change,” he spoke harsh again.
“Yeah, how you gonna do that?” she breathed out.
He snuck two fingers underneath the fabric she was wearing to feel her bare core, “by making you feel so many things you forget you even have hands,” he responded ominously before removing his hands to pull all the fabric she was wearing off of her legs and pushed them open.
He held one of her knees firmly to his side so she was fully open to him and began to tease her by rubbing her core so soft that she could barely notice, but she felt every graze.
He inserted two fingers into her and wasted no time curling and pumping them in and out, “I’ve always wondered how good you taste,” he bit at her thigh and started pumping at an incomprehensible speed.
She choked on her own moans because of how sudden the pace was and tried to stifle them by covering her mouth with her hands to which she was met with Kai pulling her arms back down to lay in front of her torso, “I want to see your face dying with discomfort because you know you can’t make a sound…” he watched her face scrunch as she stifled her moans, “I want to watch your chest bounce while your arms push them together…”
He continued pumping at this speed as he leaned to bite at her neck, “but don’t worry, if you can’t be quiet, I’ll just put something in your mouth to make you quiet,” he whispered.
He trailed his mouth down to her core, leaving bites and hickeys on the way before roughly sucking and flicking her soft spot with his tongue. He noticed when she tried to cover her mouth again and quickly grabbed her ties to hold her arms in place.
She pulled at his hair and moved her hips around in attempt to be quiet. He noticed when she was getting close and made sure to hold her wrists tighter as she threw her head back and was barely able to quiet her orgasm.
Kai kept sucking, causing her to close her thighs around him as he kept pushing and holding them back open until she was about to reach her second orgasm. Right before she was on the edge, he pulled away and replaced his mouth with his thumb to watch her face as he wrapped his hand around her throat again.
“I want to watch your face struggle to breath and quiet yourself at the same time,” he teased and watched intently as her face turned red from the lack of circulation. Before she almost passed out, she reached the edge and Kai removed his hand from her throat at the exact moment, causing her to moan loudly as she felt an intense sudden release all over her body and gasped for air.
She didn’t care this time, she needed to let it out.
Kai grabbed a bunch of her hair and pulled her to sit on her knees by it, “you better hope nobody heard that,” he unbuttoned his shorts, “you’ll never hear the end of what a sleaze you are,” he whispered and sat on his knees to kiss her by pulling her face up by her hair and grabbed her hands to touch his stomach.
She trailed her hands down his stomach until they almost reached his member before he forcefully pulled her face from his and pushed her mouth down to put her lips around it.
He sat back on his knees with one arm propping him up and ordered for her to put her ass in the air while she sucked.
Kai didn’t care if anyone heard him, he moaned like they were the only ones on the beach and grabbed a fistful of her hair again to move her head at a speed he liked.
“Oh my god--- how do you feel so good,” he groaned and twitched, “I bet your pussy feels a whole lot better,” he whispered and continued to fuck her face.
He started to twitch more, and his movements got more shaky, “I want to fill you up from both ends like the slut you are,” he spoke roughly before finishing in her mouth and pulling her head up to look at her sweaty, teary face.
He pulled himself up to move behind her where she had her ass up like he told her to do and spread her legs farther apart, pushing her back down to arch it before inserting himself into her.
He pulled her up by the back of her arms so his chest was against her back and snaked a hand around to her throat, using the other to pull her hair back onto his shoulder as he made slow but deep thrusts, hitting her spot each time as she struggled to breath.
“If I would have known you’d feel this good I would have taken advantage of this a long time ago,” he whispered in her ear, “I don’t know how you’re so perfect in every way… your pussy is the best thing I’ve ever felt…”
He moved his hand from her throat to rub circles around her clit as he thrusted faster.
She couldn’t contain her moans, so he shoved the bottoms of her bikini into her mouth and moved her face to lay at the bottom of the tent with her ass up as she unsuccessfully stifled moans of both pain and pleasure until they both finished again.
He finished with deep thrusts until they both collapsed and laid next to each other trying to catch their breath as she set herself free.
Kai sat up just enough to turn her face to his, “I don’t want anyone else to be able to have that except me,” he spoke.
“Well, you’re just full of wants today, aren’t you?” she breathed.
“Promise me,” he whined.
“What am I, your girlfriend or something?”
“Please,” he teased.
She rolled her eyes, “I promise.”
#kai parker#kai parker smut#kai parker imagine#kai parker fanfic#kai parker x reader#kai parker x you#tvd#the vampire diaries#malachai parker
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Pairings: Bakugou x fem!Reader
Tags: 18+, dirty talk, explicit scenes, mutual masturbation, penetration, bakugou being a switch, reader is a dom, lots of back and forth between characters, slow burn
A/N: this was supposed to be divided into two parts but surprise, surprise! i got lazy :) i had so much writing this. this might be my favorite fic ive written so far! this is a loooong one. enjoy!
P.S this is the unedited ver. I will posting the final on my AO3 account (sorryimanon)
-
Katsuki disliked her. No, he absolutely loathed her. Ever since she stepped foot into the classroom, it was destined for there to be a hostile barrier between the two of them. Granted, all she did was sweetly greet him like the rest of her fellow classmates, but Katsuki completely saw through her fading facade and ignored the kind gesture with a threatening showcase of his quirk.
"Being nice won't get you anywhere, baka," he snarled, glaring intensely at her all the while everyone watched the whole scene unfold.
He treated her like a foolish peasant after that initial encounter, disregarding her in any way shape or form as disgust shone through his eyes.
Y/N persevered the oncoming school years despite the blonde breathing down her neck consistently everyday. Katsuki's aggressive nature towards her subsided once graduation commenced, alluding to the blossoming maturity each student should have endured before branching off into hero work.
Not long after the celebratory succession, y/n bounced to several agencies that offered the same beneficial agreements for her. None caught her attention. Until one day she received a recommendation from Endeavor himself to work full time at his agency. Of course she accepted it and immediately wrote her sloppy signature down on the contract. Unbeknownst to her excitement, a separate copy of the contract was sent to another uprising hero around her age group.
So when she strutted in that morning of orientation, she never expected to see the very infamous Katsuki Bakugou slouched on one of the many chairs in the meeting room. Her throat tightened as she took a seat next to him, his height still freakishly tall even when they were just sitting. Staring straight forward to prevent from any means of eye contact with him, he lowered his head at her eye level and crooked a half smile.
"I'm gonna make you regret for even considering joining here, extra." A fleck of his spit hit the side of her face. Learning from her past encounters with Katsuki, y/n held her tongue in hopes for him to feel satisfied enough to leave her alone.
Thankfully their office hours were inconsistent to where they didn't intervene with each other, neither of them awkwardly meeting in the lobby or an elevator. However, sometimes y/n and Bakugou would desire the same craving for a caffeinated beverage and find themselves standing shoulder to shoulder by the coffee machine.
Bakugou likes his coffee black, she mentally jotted down as she intently watched his usual routine of preparing the beverage.
Like the asshole he is, Bakugou would purposely tip the mug and let a few trickles of the hot liquid burn her hand. He's done this every single time before he leaves y/n alone in the break room. Deep down, he relishes in the strained expression on her face when he inflicts the pain upon her. Thoughts danced across his head. Some involving him blasting y/n into the stratosphere to her kissing the tips of his boots for mercy. Either way, her being so submissive and, dare he say, a pussy to stand her ground sufficed him enough for the time being. But sometimes it pissed him off.
The constant harassment by the angry blonde went unnoticed by their other colleagues, including Endeavor, leaving y/n to prepare every morning to face the wrath of Katsuki Bakugou. His verbal abuse never wavered, occasionally whispering under his breath "weakling" or "stupid girl" whenever the pair were in the same room together. One time he sent her on a wild goose chase to find a missing case file that miraculously disappeared from her desk while she was copying something in the other room. Hours later, she soon discovers the said file tucked behind Katsuki's arm, snatching it from his grip and not once reprimanding him for wasting her time. Y/N eventually got used to it. Adapting to the annual insults of her work ethics and anything he could muster up from his sleeve. Both finally accepted their twisted dynamic, and became accustomed to the work lifestyle.
Months later, the dynamic soon changed when Endeavor announced an emergency meeting with everyone in the building. Apparently a new wave of villains have been reigning terror over the city, causing major damages and fatalities in a matter of weeks. Rumors started to circulate that the new generation of heroes don't have the capabilities to apprehend this group of evil doers. In the meeting, Endeavor made it clear for everyone to be partnered up before he dismisses them to patrol for the night, suggesting that pairing up with someone who is complimentary to your quirk is efficient for when dealing with these kinds of villains.
That's why y/n didn't voice her complaint when she inevitably got matched with Bakugou. His quirk alone was powerful already. With both of their quirks combined, there's no telling how the mission will go, but she surprisingly feels safe knowing he'll be sticking by her side throughout the rest of the night. It'll be a quick mission, then they'll return back to their previous mundane duties in the office. Back to Katsuki's mental and verbal torment.
"Could you move any slower?" Katsuki barked as both he and y/n were taking a quick stroll through the public park, scoping out for any signs of danger.
She was a step behind him, careful not to bump his shoulder or invade his space. She mumbled out a quick apology and fastened her pace, catching up to the man in gear. Tonight he wore his alternative hero costume, the design made specifically for when the temperature reaches an undesirable degree. The collar touched below the tip of his chin, his chiseled chest covered with the thick black material, and his arms protected from the cold with the addition of sleeves.
"Fucking weakling..." she heard him mumble once they circled the perimeter again.
Bakugou insisted for them to scout out as many places as possible in hopes for an encounter. He desperately needs any excuse for some action, to use his quirk out of anger. Previously, they patrolled the empty plaza of Tatoone shopping center. Other heroes were there as well, but still no signs of any villains lurking in the dark. For the third time, they met up at the center of the park after making another round, both already tired of the tedious task.
"Just our fucking luck. Still no signs of those stupid villains. I guess we should patrol the outskirts of-."
A bright luminescent beam struck the middle of Bakugou's chest cavity, ricocheting him backwards to slam against the trunk of a large tree, knocking him unconscious instantly. Startled, y/n's eyes frantically searched for the perpetrator, only to meet a pair of glowing green orbs staring right back. She shifted her stance in preparation for their next attack, blocking Bakugou's lifeless body from the villains view. Another beam shot from the darkness, only this time y/n counter balanced the blow by rolling to side, the blast missing her by a couple of feet. Y/N quickly raised to her feet and ran head first towards the dark figure. Without preamble, the figure shot multiple beams at the hero, each one emitting from the void of their chest.
Y/N dodged the bright suffocating strips of light, her feet shuffling and heart racing due to the adrenaline rush. However, she miscalculated her next move which allowed the figure to strike her left shoulder when she was distracted for a split second. Pain shot throughout her shoulder blade. Eyes drawn to a close, her hand shot up to cradle the injury. The intense sensation started to spread from the upper half of her body to below. Everything suddenly became numb, including her sensors. She couldn't feel the tips of her digits nor move any part of her face. The muscles in her legs soon stopped contracting, resulting in her knees giving out. She felt the hard, coarse ground beneath her as the darkness began to swallow up her line of vision. The last thing she saw was a scuffed up Bakugou laying face flat on the drenched grass.
- Y/N stirred awake, lifting one of her half lidded eyes expecting to see the villain looming over her tired body. But all she saw was the popcorn ceiling sheltering her, an overhead fan turned on and the curtains tightly shut. She slowly inclined her body upright and peeled the covers from her clammy figure. Still in the process of waking up, she made her way to the attached bathroom by the bed and located the sink. She splashed the cold water on her face, letting the droplets drench the clothes she was currently wearing. Turning off the facet, she craned her head to view the damage on her shoulder in the mirror. But how come she couldn't recognize herself?
Tuffs of blonde spiked out from her head. Her eyes weren't the same color either. Red crimson irises replaced the ones she had before. The injury from last night on her shoulder wasn't there no more, but she took sight at how broad they became. And she wasn't wearing her typical pajama top and bottoms. This morning she was clad in a black tank top and a pair of soft sweat pants.
No, this can't be true. This has to be some sick nightmare. Jolting backwards on her heel, she let out a terrible shriek. After screaming for a good minute, she calmed down and rested her hands on the bathroom counter, transfixed on the reflection in front of her.
"I-I somehow transformed into Bakugou!" The deep timbre voice of bakugou replaced her own. She tugged on the unkept hair and knitted her eyes shut. "This is only a dream. I'm dreaming right? I can't possibly be in Bakugou's body."
A loud ringing noise alerted y/n to open her eyes again. It was coming from her bedroom. Correction, his bedroom. She glanced at herself in the mirror one more time before retrieving the phone that was stuffed in a green duffel bag. Her eyes widened. She recognized her phone number on the screen. Knowing the circumstances, she pressed answered and awaited for the receiver on the other end to speak.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!"
-
"So, we somehow switched bodies because of being struck by that villains quirk the other night. How long did they say this will last then?" Y/N questioned Bakugou the following morning once they agreed to meet up somewhere in private. Right now they were sitting across from each other on a stone bench by the lake, the morning sun peaking through the tall skyscrapers behind them.
Bakugou shrugged his shoulders, technically hers, and said, "Endeavor informed me it'll probably linger for a good week. He also wanted us to not be on duty till we recuperate from this, saying that the side effects will drain our bodies." He couldn't muster up the courage to stare at her, because all he would see is the reflection of himself. "Unfortunately the villain fled the scene before the others arrived to retrieve us. They're still out there causing havoc."
"This is freaking weird."
"Fucking."
Y/N tilted her head in confusion. Across from her, Bakugou pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed in frustration.
"If you're gonna be me for a whole week then you might as well not sugar coat my vocabulary-dumbass."
Right, she now has to devote her time and effort into mirroring Bakugou's explosive personality. But that also means he too has to put on a show in order to persuade everyone he was her.
"Oh, okay..." she started but tensed up when realizing Bakugou was gazing expectantly at her. "D-Dumbass?"
Katsuki groaned as he rolled his eyes at her failed attempt of portraying him.
"This is going to be a long ass week."
- Bakugou grunted in disgust as he scavenged through y/n's closet for something to wear. Every piece of clothing so far hasn't met his criteria of approval to put on his body. There was an unnecessary amount of yoga pants and the most ugliest oversized graphic tees he's ever laid his eyes upon stored in her drawer. Growing up in a household of highly praised designers, the influence shifted his taste in fashion over the years. So, he made the rational decision to make a quick trip to the mall and purchase a few outfits for himself. Considering he's going to be in this body for a whole week, maybe even more, he might as well present himself looking ten times better than she ever has.
He tittered around the mall window shopping, entering store after store leaving with a handful of clothes in plastic and paper bags. So far he bought some outfits that edged a little on the fancy side, but paid no mind to his bank account. Bakugou guesstimated y/n's size during the venture, not wanting to pry or see what's underneath these restricting fabrics. He was about to leave when a frilly-pink themed store caught his attention.
It's a lingerie store, Bakugou thought as he neared closer to the entrance.
Posters inside the displays showcased attractive half naked women clad in nothing but the delicate material. Not to mention they were all posing seductively. An involuntary image of y/n flashed across his eyes, her imitating the same lustrous pose as well as wearing the sheer lingerie like the women behind the glass. Steams of heat practically blowed out from his ears, along with the embarrassing shade of pink panting his cheeks. He clamped a hand on his mouth, eyes widen in disbelief.
The fuck did I just imagine? There's no way in hell that just happened!
He must've been loitering there for awhile because a young girl, possibly his age, was standing in the threshold of the store wearing a pastel pink apron, giving him a welcoming smile.
She spoke, "Looking to shop for something, ma'am?"
Remembering back to y/n's distasteful clothing, he noted that she also lacked having any 'pretty' undergarments. It wasn't that he intentionally raided through her underwear, he just so happen to have stumbled upon the almost empty drawer by accident. In retrospect, he's doing her a favor. He cleared his throat before speaking.
"Yes actually. Can you show me your most expensive set?" - "To your left! That dudes been camping by that spot since the match. He'll snipe you in the open!" Kirishima informed y/n as they both sat criss cross on the cushioned couch.
They've been playing the same game for hours. Y/N prayed for at least one water break or grab something quick to eat since they haven't moved an inch from their spots. Kirishima promised after this match he'll order some takeout for the both of them, but he said the same thing 8 matches ago. All she could do for now was pretend to be immersed in the game, getting a couple of impressive kills here and there, subsequently ranking her to a bronze level. Her digits were beginning to cramp up due to the repetitive moments of smashing down on the labeled buttons on the wireless controller. The screen across from them suddenly went dark and flashed the scoreboard from the recent match. Another successful victory.
"BOOYAAA!!!!" Kirishima clapped his hands and did a celebratory dance. "Ah, good game Bakugou."
Y/N flinched from hearing the blondes name.
"Kirishima, it's Y/N," she reluctantly reminded him.
Kirishima's whole demeanor went south. He chucked out a dry laugh and nervously started rubbing the back of his neck.
"R-Right sorry. Couldn't help myself. I mean, I am looking at Bakugou. Same face, voice, hair, and scary eyes."
After being battered by the villains quirk, Kirishima and Sun Eater were the ones to retrieve them before law enforcement shortly arrived once the perpetrator fled the scene. They were all under one strict oath to not mention this to the public, or else everyone’s image will tarnished and skew the potential of our future rankings.
"I know. I'm still trying to process this whole thing. I've been avoiding all the mirrors in the apartment since I came back." Y/N stood up from the couch and sauntered over to her designated bedroom for the week. She reached for the door handle but stiffened when a pair of hardened hands rested on her broad shoulders.
"Aye, don't worry so much. I bet you Bakugou is thinking the same thing. This week will be over before you know it," he absentmindedly began massaging the area between your shoulder blades and neck.
Does he always treat Bakugou like this despite that nasty little Pomeranian being a complete asshole to everyone?
"Kirishima?"
"Yeah?"
"What is Bakugou like around you?"
The red head hummed to himself at the random question, thinking of a perfect answer to her curiosity.
"The same how he was in high school except more tamer I guess. But I enjoy his presence none the less."
Then why does he seem to unleash his untamed feelings towards me specifically?
Y/N sighed, obviously not satisfied with that answer.
"Out of everybody, he seems to despise me more and more like it's a game," she said without realizing.
"You know how he is Y/N. He's very abrasive and blunt when it comes to other people's emotions, but deep down I know he only acts like that because he wants to present a strong image in front of everyone," he started. "He's scared of others looking down on him, I know that for sure. But I always looked up to Bakugou from the day I personally got to know him. So, I guess he just stayed by my side because of my admiration for him."
Bakugou is always putting up a front then.
"Interesting...well I'm gonna go to bed now. Thanks for keeping me company," y/n said once again reaching for the knob and opening the door, ignoring the red heads pleas for her not go to sleep on an empty stomach. -
The next day Bakugou found himself inside y/n's bathroom, feet firmly planted on the tiled floor not daring to move an inch. Even though he wasn't in his own body that didn't stop him from paying a visit to the gym this morning. He went extra hard on every machine, not caring about the wandering eyes men gave him while he dead lifted weights. Drenched in nothing but his own glistening sweat, Bakugou entered y/n's small apartment as he dragged his tired feet to the bedroom he was now familiarized with.
Something foul wafted into his nostrils, almost making him teary eyed to the stench. He tried to recall the last time he took a shower. Vaguely he remembers washing his body the morning before he got attack by the powerful quirk. It's been several days since then. This was one thing he didn't want to endure during his experience of switching bodies. He's been neglecting his own hygiene to avoid seeing y/n's exposed body parts. Changing out from her clothes with closed eyes was difficult enough, but taking a fucking shower?! Such a shitty predicament. But he can't smell like this for the remainder of being stuck in this body. He'll die of suffocation.
Ah fuck, that must mean she has to take a shower as well. Or worse, she already has and saw everything.
His eye twitched, lips trembling in fear at what he's about to witness.
Fuck it, I can't go out smelling like shit!
With shaky fingers he began stripping, eyes trained on anything but y/n's figure, the faint sound of the water streaming white noise to him. Her gym clothes piled on the floor, Katsuki slipped into the shower, head titled slightly to view only the shower head. He messed around with the chrome handle, indecisive on what temperature he wanted. Settled onto cold to awaken his sluggish state, he positioned himself under the shower head, goosebumps prickling his skin due to the sudden drop of temperature. Water droplets streamed down and canaled to his lower regions, the sensation relaxing his anxiousness just a smidge. He surveyed the options y/n had laid out for hair care products and grabbed the nearest one. Rubbing the body wash into the palms of his hands, he caught himself, arm mid raised getting ready to wash each crevice of his body.
Shit shit shit shit
The hand in front of him began shaking.
She won't know. It's not like I'm touching her sexually, I'm just keeping her clean for fucks sake!
As gentle as he could, Bakugou washed away the soapy residue, fingers cautiously ghosting over anything perking out. A moment too soon, he accidentally skimmed over her chest a little too fast, the tips of his fingers touching something that was hard and protruding. His breathing hitched.
I just felt her fucking nipple!
But fuck, it strangely felt quite pleasant. Pleasurable even if he had to admit.
He continued on with his previous ministrations, cupping her boobs like a madman and swiping one thumb over the taunt surface to test the waters. A fierce, tingling sensation surged shivers down his spine. An unsolicited low moan spurred out from the blonde.
"Hah!"
What the hell?! Why am I still touching her tits? And why am I enjoying it?
Finishing up his routine quickly, Bakugou snatched a towel from the cabinet and rubbed away all the sinful thoughts desperately from his head, a constant fight between his morals and neediness. Nobody will never know what he committed in the confines of her own apartment. And it'll fucking stay like that till on his death bed.
I practically assaulted her. I'm so fucking disgusting
For the rest of the remaining day, Bakugou planned on meeting up with Kirishima to hangout. He wanted to coerce the red head into talking about anything other than y/n. His mind needs the relief. He needs this spell to be over with.
He can't stand trying to fit into women's jeans any longer - Kirishima woke up that morning to a chorus of shrieks. Girlish shrieks, might he add. He thought maybe the neighbors were selfishly doing not-so-holy-things at the peak of dawn. But him and Katsuki were resided on the highest level of the penthouse, them being the only residents on the empty floor. It clicked once he heard his name through the thin walls.
"Ah! Y/N I'm coming!" He leaped from his bed and reached y/n's, technically Bakugou's, room in a matter of seconds.
Y/N's body twitched to the sound of the door being slammed open, the impact rattling the very few wall decorations in the blondes space. Standing in the threshold was the friendly red head, huffing and puffing air out of his chest like he just got done running a marathon.
"K-Kiri! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to wake you up!" Her words afterwards became a jumbled mess, realizing the predicament she pushed herself into.
"Hey, hey, calm down! Tell me what's wrong. It sounded like you were in pain. Did you hurt yourself anywhere?" The red had to remind himself this was indeed another person inside Bakugou's body, because Bakugou would never apologize repeatedly for the sake of apologizing in his entire life.
Y/N was looking quite pallid now, sheepishly tugging on the black covers of the bed, trying to find the easiest way on how to lay this out to her new roommate.
"Well...I just...I woke up to - ah crap."
Instead of explaining her situation, she pulled back the blanket to show kiri the thing protruding between her uncommonly, muscular legs. Kirishima's eyes widen instantaneously, eating up the pitched tent inside her basketball shorts. Oddly enough, this wasn't his first rodeo upon seeing the blonde with a boner. They were dudes. And dudes living together were bound to witness each other's 'flesh swords', he'd like to put it.
"Oh, morning wood? That's pretty normal. Nothing to fret y/n!" He dismissed her with the wave of his hand. "Bakugou gets them all the time! In fact, I remember he'd get them after sparring sessions back in our U.A days-."
"Okayyyyy, Never mind that! I know I have a boner. Just exactly how do I get rid of it?!"
"You mean, you don't know? Haven't you been taught this in Sex Ed class?" Kiri was actually curious as to why she doesn't know nor remember. He surly does. Learning about the human body by the infamous sultry teacher, Midnight, engraved so much information into his tiny-teenage brain.
"That was considered an extra curricular class. I took a CPR class instead."
"Right well, from what she taught us and from my own personal experience, you gotta rub one out."
Y/N's whole face contorted into a confused mess of disgust.
"Rub a what now?" She asked, although she had a feeling what the euphemism meant.
Kiri's face blotched red, the tint flushing to his chest as well. The man was evidently embarrassed about having this conversation with someone who wasn't Bakugou.
"I essentially mean you gotta masturbate. Ya know, in order to calm down your boner," he paused seeing how distraught y/n became. "It won't hurt I promise you! Don't worry, it feels really good! Like, eating ice cream good! Ah no that's not a good analogy!"
"This is so fucking horrifying..." Y/N poked at the thing, rightfully known as his dick, and kept starring as if it might miraculously subside to its original size.
Kiri coughed, grabbing her attention away from Bakugou's dick.
"He has lotion stashed in his drawer," he started, but malfunctioned seconds later. He revealed something private to someone that bakugou condemned as a 'weakling'. "That is if you need it for lubricant. It's kind of tough to jerk off dry..." his sentence fell off midway.
Y/N mumbled out an "Ok", and retrieved said lotion from the lower bunk of his drawers. She felt a pair of eyes on her. Kiri was still standing awkwardly by the doorway, unsure wether or not if that's his cue to leave.
"Um, thanks Kiri. You can leave now," she plopped back onto Bakugou's king sized bed.
This man sleeps alone. He doesn't need a ginormous bed all to himself.
"R-Right! Well, enjoy jerking off- ah no I meant - I didn't word that correctly! Ah geez, see ya later!" He sprinted out the door like his life depended on it.
Locking the door behind her, y/n forced herself into the attached bathroom, the lotion burning the palms of her hand each second. Once she settled down on the lid of the toilet, she shimmied out from his loose basketball shorts, letting them pool at her ankles.
If there's one thing she learned that morning, it was that being a man had its weird benefits. - "Slow down Bakugou! Let me at least catch up before you black out!" Kirishima was on his third shot while Bakugou just downed his sixth one for the night.
The blonde growled under his breath and tugged the red head by his collar to his mouth.
"Fucking idiot, don't call me that. It's y/n when we're out in public," he loosens his grip and snatches kiri's shot and tips his head back to drain it all down his throat, the burning sensation long gone.
"Ugh, my brain can't keep up with this whole switching body shit. It's been so hard back at the apartment." He internally cringes from the recollection of y/n popping her first boner this morning.
"What do you mean? Has that dumbass been giving you a hard time? If she has, I'll give her a piece of my mind."
"Not at all! She's been a saint while living with me. Which by the way, how come you can't just live at the penthouse while y/n stays at her place?
While Kirishima was talking, Bakugou ordered another round of shots. The bartender shoved a whole bottle of Fireball towards the man, saving him in the future to not ask anymore. The young server gave Bakugou a sly wink and returned back to serving other customers down the line. Cheeks flushed red, Bakugou thinks the man behind the bar was being too nice for his liking. He poured two more shots while keeping an eye on the average looking employee. If kirishima kept babbling, he might as well funnel the entire bottle in one sitting.
"I'm just following endeavors orders. We're not supposed to gain attention from those stupid reporters that camp outside our penthouse," he takes another swing of the warm liquid. "I'd rather fucking be quirkless than mistaken for having any rumored relations with her."
"Can I ask a genuine question? How come you hate y/n so much?"
"I don't hate her, I dislike her. There's a difference."
"I don't know man. Sometimes I mistaken your dislike with love."
"EXCUSE ME? IM NOT IN LOVE OF THAT BITCH?!"
"C'mon dude, I'm sensing a lot of denial from you. Also, shouldn't you be acting like her right now? She's very soft spoken if I'm not mistaken,"
"I'm not in denial idiot. I hate how soft she speaks. I hate how sickeningly kind she is even though nobody deserves it. I hate how she wastes her talented quirk and doesn't see the potential. She's a lost cause Kiri. She won't last for much longer in this field if she keeps this up."
"Wow, for someone who dislikes her as such, you surly sound like you care about heeeerrrrrr," kirshima drawled out in a sing-song voice.
"Shut up and finish your shot, shitty hair."
When the blonde was driving back to her apartment later that night, he slammed his fists against the steering wheel when an afterthought came to him.
His whole reasoning as to why he went out in the first place, and he can't seem to restrict himself from talking about the girl he's trapped in.
Even in this goddamn body I can't seem to steer clear from y/n talk! - Izuku had to do a double take when he entered the small coffee shop. Something about seeing the pensive blonde sitting patiently in a booth by the corner really made him feel like he was sucked into another dimension. Today y/n was wearing a white v-neck with a wool green cardigan and tight black jeans.
Kacchan owns cardigans? He thought, clearly amused.
Upon hearing the ding coming from the door, Y/N raised her head from her phone and waved Izuku over to her table. The poor man seemed like he was going combust right there. It's been awhile since he's spoken to his old classmate.
The green haired hero slid into the booth across from her and immediately started speaking Deku language.
"H-Hey Kacchan! Boy it's been awhile hasn't it? I was a little stunned seeing your message this morning asking to hangout. I'm sorry that I couldn't meet up sooner. I had an early patrol shift from 9 to 5. You might know how that feels, right?! Oh gosh I'm sounding like an adult. Can you believe we're adults-."
"Midor- I mean Deku, I called you up to ask about if you have any leads on the villain with the body switching quirk?" She cut him off.
"Oh yeah, that villain has been spotted a few times since the last attack. Of course most of my team hasn't been able to reprimand them. A few close calls though. But I heard two people from your sector got hit by the quirk! Are they doing okay?"
I hate lying to those big freaking green eyes.
"That's not true. They got hurt, but no one was attacked by their quirk. I just need to know if you have any information on the quirk in particular and what to do in order to reverse it."
Underneath the table, Izuku fumbled inside his pockets in search for his mini notebook. He still obtained the habit of jotting down everything, literally everything, in hopes the information will provide any source of aide. Izuku became all jittery and excited at the thought of sharing anything with Kacchan!
The small, crinkled notebook was slid across the table, hitting the tips of y/n's knuckles.
"Page 124, the first indent I wrote. It's mainly about my own conspiracy on what the villains quirk is. That was before their first debut of course. But now since we know it's a type of body switching quirk, I tried to pin point on what exactly lifts the quirks effect on the victim," Izuku explained casually while y/n skimmed through the notes and passages. "I did a little detective work on my own and contacted the people who were attacked by the villain. From what I gathered, let's just say- it's a bit taboo ."
This piqued her interest.
"What do you mean by, taboo?"
The man began to wave his hands around fervently in attempt to steer the blonde away from prying more. But y/n swatted Izuku's hand and continued reading the sloppy inscriptions.
Her eyes popped out from her sockets.
"I have to what?!" A few civilians stared in their direction, obviously gravitated to the familiar gruff voice.
"Calm down Kacchan! Why are you so angry for?"
Y/N rubbed her temple all the while wanting to slowly die than endure anymore of this.
"Nothing. Just- Ugh...Is it alright if I borrow this?"
"Y-Yeah! Kacchan can borrow anything from me as long as he returns it!" There was that gleam again in his eyes.
"Thanks Izuku, I owe you one!" She squeezed the greenettes freckled hand before leaving the booth and the shop all together.
Still in the cafe, Izuku sat frozen as if someone walked in with gun. Internally though, he was screaming. -
Y/N: Please call me. It's urgent
It was a Friday night when Bakugou received the cryptic message from her. He was in the middle of watching his true crime show when the annoying ding from his phone went off. For once, he just wanted to relax his mind and go on auto pilot without stressing his already strained body. It's the whole principle of Friday's. To fuck off and ignore everyone. What's so fucking important for her to text him out of the blue then?
Another acute ding.
Bakugou peeked over his shoulder to see who disrupted him this time.
Y/N: Bakugou, we need to talk. This isn't something to ignore.
He rolled his eyes and retrained his focus on the tv screen.
Ding Ding Ding
"FOR FUCK SAKE!" He released an animalistic growl from the depths of his throat, scratching his voice box even more. His fingers typed away aggressively, not bothering to read her previous messages.
BK: Leave me the fuck alone. You're to only text me if it involves with the reverse of this stupid quirk 🖕🏼
Three dots appeared immediately after he sent that. Bakugou started losing his patience while waiting for her response. He hated wasting precious time, especially if there was a second party involved. Her message finally delivered. Bakugou's eyes grew larger in size as he read the text.
Y/N: that's why I'm texting you idiot 🙄 I met up with Midoriya today and he may have given me the solution to our problem.
He bit down hard on his bottom lip as he typed out his last text message to her.
BK: fine. come over then. we can talk about it when you get here.
This time he didn't wait for her to respond back and began cleaning her apartment. - Feeling nervous was an understatement. Y/N felt like she was driving herself to her own execution. Bakugou being the one to carry out the death sentence. She didn't doubt the blonde would be elated at the idea of her being put under a torture device.
Okay, maybe he wasn't too malice to actually do it, but he probably entertained the thought.
Thankfully Bakugou's penthouse wasn't far from her own apartment, saving her much needed gas in case he goes ballistic on her.
The door flew open when she arrived shortly after one knock, revealing a very sluggish looking Y/N shooting daggers at her. Well, at least her body wasn't dressed in bruises or burn marks. That's a win. Bakugou paired herself with a cute crop top and silky pajama shorts. He's got taste she'll give him that.
Her apartment remained exactly the same as she left it when they both were ordered to switch residency's. Only a few traces of Bakugou were found. Mainly in the kitchen, where all his fancy cooking equipment and utensils were laid out. Unlike him, she ate out almost every night due to the red head being incompetent in the kitchen. He almost burnt down the complex last night. He relied upon his friend to do most of the cooking in their household.
The blonde briskly brushed passed her to sit on the couch, slinging his feet on the coffee table to make himself comfortable. Too comfortable, she noted.
"Well, spill it. What did the damn nerd tell you that could help us with this shit?" He inquired without preamble.
Like a hero, she was here on a mission. A mission that needs to be completed as soon as possible, even if the mission itself was ludicrous. She reached into her jacket pocket to retrieve the mini book, and flipped soundlessly to the page Izuku marked for her.
"On here it says that the quirk can last up to a week, maybe even more, depending on the victim(s). The effected will experience dry eyes, nausea, insomnia, painful migraines, and uncontrollable shaking due to being inside another persons body. They must let the quirk take its course then," she read out loud, ignoring Bakugou's groans of annoyance. "But, for rare cases, there have been reports of one's libido being greatly impacted. The victim will be in constant, insurmountable pain unless they relief themselves, then the two bodies will return back to normal."
To her surprise, Bakugou didn't show an ounce of indignation after hearing this piece of information. He seemed almost indifferent.
And there's no denying the truth. Both of their hormones have been off the rails. Ever since the incident in the shower, Bakugou has caught himself numerous times touching Y/N's boobs. Coping a sly feel as he cooked, cleaned, and even while he scrolled through his social media. Sometimes her ass as well to see if it felt good in his hands. Y/N was no saint either. Sporting boners every hour for no particular reason. All the blood rushing to her lower region became unbearable when she didn't take care of it. Kirishima kept reassuring her that it's natural for a man to get them a lot. But how much was too much?
He threw his hands up in the air and scoffs. "That's it? I just gotta jack off and then we're free from this curse?"
This is the part she dreaded the most. An uncomfortable heat flash roused up her face, a deep shade of red inching across her cheeks and nose.
"No. That's not what it means. We basically have to...ya know...," she paused mid sentence, too bashful to finish, desperately wanting Bakugou to put two and two together.
She shrunk in her position as the blonde narrowed his eyes at her.
"We have to fuck each other?" He profoundly acclaimed.
"Don't put it like that! But yeah, technically, we have to...help relief each other in order to switch back."
"If you wanted to jump my bones so bad you could've just asked." He leans back against the couch, arm draped lazily over the shoulder of the furniture, along with a playful smirk tugging up on the corners of his mouth. Y/N's blood ran cold when she felt the tiniest twitch down below. Her borrowed reproductive organ is betraying her!
"Do you want to be in constant pain till this all wears off? Or do you want to get this over with and never talk to each other again?" Y/N shuffled more towards the abrasive man, a strong tidal wave of anger rising within her.
"It won't matter because you always wound up in my presence anyway. Like a fucking pest that won't leave me alone." Without realizing it, Bakugou got up from his spot on the couch and marched over to Y/N, who at the moment looked like she was about to pop a blood vessel.
Another thing he hated about switching bodies was the fact that everyone towered over him, despite him being on his tippy toes. The woman in front of him acclimated his height, giving her the upperhand if they were to battle it out right now. If anything he could kick her shins at best.
"Whatever...I'm leaving," was all she said before storming off to the front door, grabbing her things along with her as she grew farther from him.
Katsuki's legs were moving on their own. His hand reached out and grabbed Y/N's forearm, halting her movements altogether. She's clearly enraged, thrashing her body back and forth to loosen his grip on her. He eventually grew tired of her stubborness and secured his grip on both of her arms, trapping her between the door and his body, producing a loud 'thump!'. Although he was in her body, he still carried his strength. In a matter of seconds, both Y/N and Bakugou were chest to chest now, their centers tapping aganist each other. She averted her gaze to the floor, as if their shoes were more interesting than this whole shitshow of a dilema. Bakugou squeezed her shoudlers, a little too much for her liking, to gain her attention again.
"I didn't say no, did I?" he asked hotly, his warm breath hitting her collarbones. An ice cold shiver ran down her spine, causing her breathing to hitch. Bakugou noticed her sudden stiffness and began rubbing gentle circles into the tender flesh of her skin. "Hoho, someone's excited aren't they?"
Confused, Y/N furrowed her brows and backed up further into the wooden door. But her question was soon to be answered as she followed Bakugou's hungry gaze to the prominent bludge taunting from her pants. Betrayed once again by her unstable horniness!
"Guess I'm not the only one," she accuses once spotting the definite wet stain around Bakugou's crotch. He smirked at that.
"Take care of it then," his voice oozed of seduction and want, rewarding him another twitch in your tight pants. The libido was taking full effect now, any animosity they had before was thrown out the window. Past arguments also long forgotten. Their main priority at the moment was to experience the sweet relief of coming undone.
Y/N darted her hand down to the spot Bakugou needed attention from, and cupped his crotch with her abnormally large hand. Bakugou lets out a shaky exhale as her fingers danced around the sensitive area. One of her fingers moved instinctively, feeling how drenched he was in his panties, and rubbed the underside to get a better feel of the sex.
"You're so wet Bakugou," Y/N mused softly. She leaned forward, searching into Bakugou's eyes for any signs of him wanting this to end. But the pool of his irises were blown out, no tint of your original color in them anymore. "Do you want more?"
He nodded quickly, his hair bobbing up and down. Y/N chuckled and removed her hand from its previous position to the hem of Bakugou's shorts, teasingly toying the waistband. She slipped smoothly into his shorts, tickling him in the process, and toyed with the corners of his panties before moving them aside so she could have access to the thing she's been craving to touch. Wetness lathered up her fingers with just one swipe, causing Bakugou to purse his lips and shut his eyes tightly.
"Is Bakugou embarrassed? Are you mad that I have the upper hand now? After all those years of verbally tormenting me, you can't handle my simple touch?" She whispered dangerously close into his ear. During this, she couldn't tell if he was pissed or turned on. Maybe a mixture of both, but she took pride in his strained expression.
"W-Watch your goddamn mouth. Or do I need to shut you up myself, eh?" By shutting her up, he meant mirroring her exact ministrations. The petite hand of Bakugou's latched onto the zipper of her jeans, and impressively dragged it down in one swipe without getting anything caught. He reached into the tight restraints of her boxer briefs and pulled out the hardened dick. He clicked his tongue. "Not to sound like a narcissist, but you gotta admit, my dick looks pretty."
"Just shut up and jerk me off you asshole. I'm starting to see stars," She wasn't lying to speed up the process. Her body felt like it was on fire, including her dick. If Bakugou keeps stalling for the sake of punishing her, then he's going to be seeing white for days on end.
Bakugou tentatively began pumping her, his grip not too tight nor loose on the flesh. Y/N sighed in relief as he swiped his thumb over the slit, covering his fingers in her precum. Seeing that he's giving into her needs, she returned the favor by inserting her index finger inside, not allowing him to adjust once she massaged the velvety walls.
Bakugou arched into Y/N's body, panting harshly against her chest. "H-Hah fuck, slow down. Shit!"
"Take it like a champ, Mr.Dynamight."
"F-Fuck you."
Oh no. Probably shouldn't have patronized him, because Bakugou sped up his languid motions to pure vigorous jerking of the hand. A wave of pleasure shot up through her body, jolting backwards due to the intense sensation. Of course he's a pro at this. What isn't he good at?
Bakugou rested his head onto the crevice of your shoulder since he could only reach so far, and ghosted his lips on the skin, carefully restricting himself to not engage in kissing the area. While doing so, he cupped the underside of your balls, rolling them around in his small hands. They looked so big when being manhandled in her grasp. Y/N stifled her moans as he kept messing with them, all the while stroking her simultaneously. She felt him smile. The cheeky fucker! Two could play it at this game.
Y/N used one of her thumbs that weren't preoccupied inside Bakugou to massage the only place she knew that could make him cum in seconds. Two fingers inside, one thumb attentively on the clitorous. It was enough to make Bakugou bite down on her shoulder, trying to prevent any moans from escaping his mouth.
"Moan for me Bakugou. I know you want to," she tried to persuade him with more strokes to the clit, occasionally pinching it with her unoccupied fingers. She can feel he was close. So was she. But she needed to coerce him into helping her to finish too. They need to be a team. "Say something Bakugou. Don't you want to cum? If you don't speak your mind I'm going to stop." She couldn't believe the words that were spewing from her mouth. Y/N has never dirty talked before. Nor has she gotten this far with anyone without freezing up. Definitely the libido effect.
Bakugou detached his teeth from her shoulder and stared deeply into her eyes. Pleading.
"Go faster. Please." The want and neediness in his voice said it all.
He indeed felt vulnerable and exposed right then and there when confessing his desire, but he couldn't care less. Her fingers inside him were heavenly. A mantra of ,"yesyesyesyesyesyes", left his throat as her ministrations didn't falter.
"Fuck! Keep going. Just like that- shit - just like that... yesssss." His moans were beautiful. Not because they sounded like hers, but the way how he vocalizes his pleasure made sense in the world. Every whimper or moan puts her closer to the edge.
"Are you- are you about to?" He asked quietly, as though he was afraid you might stop at any rate.
"Yes! So close, just keep stroking," it was difficult to form sentences after that, the build up tension in your stomach tightening like a ticking time bomb, making your pleads indecipherable.
But Bakugou didn't want to hear that. He wanted to her to say those three words of encouragement.
Make. Me. Cum
And then, as if his thoughts were broadcasted live, she snaked her hands into the locks of his hair and pulled him close to where the tips of their noses touched briskly.
In a small voice she whimpers out, "Make me cum, Katsuki."
Listening to her instructions, his grip tightened around the base of her shaft and began teasing the slit, never once averting his glare from her own. Y/N's legs turned into jello. It became harder and harder to stand any longer. She needed to release. She quickened her pace and brutally scissored his pussy, the erotic sounds of their wetness reverberating in the tiny apartment.
"Cum then baby. Cum for me only."
Baby
Next thing she knew a strip of white shot out from below, dirtying the hands of Bakugou's. Her body began to spasm. Katsuki didn't loosen his grip, the stimulation becoming unbearable at this point.
The coil within him loosened, the evidence of his climax coating her fingers, allowing his orgasum to reach its full potential.
The pair blacked out for a split second, but recuperated once the light hit their corneas again.
"Shit." "Fuck." "..." "..."
Silence. Then the realization hit.
"I'm staring at you and not me! It worked! Hallelujah!" Y/N exclaimed, feeling herself to make sure it wasn't a hallucination.
"Gross. You got cum all over my expensive shirt," he said, wiping away the white substance with his sleeve.
Both of them went into the kitchen to clean the after math. Bakugou would grunt occasionally in disgust, sponging away the grime. Y/N throughly washed her hands and towel dried them, thoughts stiffly empty and vexed. She broke the awkward tension.
"Well, I guess we should call Endeavor and inform him that we switched back."
He hummed in agreement.
"And we should probably exchange our things tomorrow or tonight, but preferably soon since we're going to be on duty again."
Another grunt.
"Don't worry about me mentioning this to anyone. We can just keep whatever happened minutes ago between us-
Bakugou cut her off entirely by smashing his lips against hers. Shell shocked by his action, Y/N kept her eyes wide open whilst Bakugou's were knitted shut. She laid her hands on his chest and shoved him away harshly, putting their distance at arms reach.
"Bakugou, what the hell? All of sudden you want to kiss me?" Y/N's face fell, contorting into a mixture of sadness and confusion. "You only kiss people you like. Not hate."
Bakugou moved towards Y/N slowly, a hint of a smile forming as he neared closer.
"And that's exactly why I did it, idiot," he proclaimed confidently, cupping the side of her face. The touch was so tender and gentle she forgot that it was Bakugou at first.
"You're toying with me, aren't you? The libido is probably still lingering. If you really liked me, then tell me the exact moment you did."
Without hesitation he said, "The first day of school. When you walked in."
Y/N slapped the hand from her face, her skin flushing red by his blunt confession.
"Stop lying. You were mean to me the first day of school. And every day after that. I don't think calling people a "weakling" or "stupid" constitutes as liking someone."
All he did was chuckle and continued scooting closer, eventually towering above her. She squirmed underneath him. She secretly missed having his height.
"You're absolutely stupid if you think I really meant any of that crap. I may have gone overboard on the whole berating thing, but that was just my way of pushing my feelings away, in hopes you'd improve better and not take shit from people like me."
"Ya know, it's kind of hard to detect that when you were practically spitting on my face."
He leaned down and pecked a chaste kiss on the crown of her forehead.
"You can call me all the names you want later. Kick my ass if ya want, but for now let me make it up to you," he whispers before planting his mouth to hers again, only this time she didn't protest.
Heat swirled within her as she watched Katsuki's eyes flutter close, enriched in the moment to open them, and gripped the base of her neck to apply more pressure into the kiss. The man guided her as he moved his plushed lips ontop of hers, consuming the pretty noises she made. And my, were they absoultey rich coming from her.
I want to hear more, the selfish thought banged repeatedly inside his lust filled mind.
Y/N nervosuly closed her eyes shut when Katsuki's wet tongue prodded the entrance of her tight, lipped mouth. Letting him take full control, Katsuki managed to enter the strong muscle into her wet mouth and explored the canvernous place with such eagerness, such tenacity. Like he's been dying to do this for as long as his skillful mind can remember. Y/N found herself moaning as Katsuki grabbed her waist and forcefully collieded their bodies together, her soft breasts pressed up against his hard chest. Her perky tits put him in a trance, remincseing back to the day when first touched them, the guiltiness eating him up from the inside-out. Katsuki slithered one of his hands to the taunt boob and gave it a firm squeeze, causing Y/N to squeak out in embarrasement. They still feel fucking amazing in his hands.
"You're so fucking cute," he drew back from her, already out of breath. Everything was hitting him like a tsunami. He can finally admit to himself that he's been wanting this since they became co-workers. Hell, since the fucking beginning. Younger Katsuki would deem him as a horny loser who lost at his own game, but he wasn't a damn kid anymore.
"K-Katsuki...bedroom?" her hands found their way back into his crisp locks, futher egging him to comply. The small action made him moan.
"Fuck yes," Katsuki growled out and in a haste hooked his arms underneath the back of Y/N's thighs, hoisting her in the air to lead them into the bedroom they're both familair with.
Journeying to her bedroom became a difficult task. If only she'd stop giving his neck, the most sensitve spot out of his entire body, kitten kisses then he'd be plowing her back by now. He grew weaker by the second as the shy, acute kisses trandsitioned into full on sucking and biting. Not that he was complaining.
Katsuki threw her down onto the bed, unable to contain his smile when she hiccuped a chorus of giggles. God, even her giggles are fucking contagious. Strong arms scooped her up momentarily, bringing her to the center of the bed. Grazing her aching spot was Katsuki's growing buldge. Y/N circled her arms around his tiny waist squeezing him closely as Katsuki rolled his hips downwards to meet hers. She seized Katsuki's bicep, whimpering, and rythmically pushed her groin towards his, the tin material of her shorts scraping the surface of his jeans deliciously. His head dragged down to her collarbones, panting softly, wetting the skin from the condesation of his breath.
"I want you so fucking bad, please," he managed to choke out in between the continous grinding.
Gaining a newfound confidence, Y/N mimiced the way how Bakugou unzipped her when they were still in opposite bodies and peeled back his briefs till his inflamed member popped out, smacking his lower belly. He cursed under his breath noticing the immense amount of pre-cum leaking from the head. As much as she wanted to lick it all up, there were other things to tend to. She shimmied out from her skimpy shorts and crop top, not wasting any time for lingering touches. But Y/N caught a menacing glare in his eyes. His attention was focused on something else. Looking down, she saw that she was sporting a sheer laced bra with matching panties. She definitely doesn't remember having these in her personal closet.
"You bought me lingerie?" Y/N tried to sound unfazed at the thought of Katsuki willingly purchasing these pretty undergarments for her. That must mean he's seen her boobs!
"Yeah? So what if I did. Your sense of fashion is nonexistent. I pitied you that much to where I bought you shit with my own money."
His face was stern, scarily resembling the times he'd be bashing someone's head on the concrete during a bloody battle. But his eyes told a different story. She couldn't quite pin point the time or place when she witnessed the same gleaming spark in those vermilion orbs, but she felt safe and wanted all in one.
So she began teasing the straps of her bra, head still in disbelief that the blonde underneath her bought it, and let the material slip off her shoulder seductively. Bakugou's breathing quickened as he watched y/n toy with the next strap. He stopped her midway.
"No," his fingers were ironically cold.
"No?" She questioned him, awkwardly frozen still on his lap. His evident boner pushing up against her sex, making her wet even more.
Numbly, Bakugou pulled up both of the straps to her bra and chuckled lightly to himself.
"I wanna fuck you with this on. It's been on my mind since I bought it," he admitted out loud.
Y/N held back a moan, his words carrying so much weight to them all the while directing it straight to her drenched pussy.
Without saying a word, y/n left acute kisses on Bakugou's neck, trailing it down further and further till she reached the leaking head of his member. He became antsy as she wrapped her petite hand around the base, fingers tracing the topography of his veins. Y/N saw the desperate look on his face and took all of him in her mouth, holding in the breath of oxygen she took before doing so. Bakugou hissed, teeth clamping down on his bottom lip nearly ripping the skin apart. This feels way better and more appropriate. He prefers her wet mouth over her fingers any day of the week.
Y/N sucked in her cheeks, allowing herself to take more of his member. The tip of his head eventually hit the back of her throat, causing her to gag and choke due to the sudden pressure.
"F-Fuck. Holy shit, keep going," Katsuki begged, tears swelling in his ducts already.
The saliva from her open mouth created a natural lubricant, making it easy for her to bob her head up and down. Bakugou's ears picked up the erotic wet squelching sounds coming from her as she kept up the brutal pace, the noise alone making him want to come undone. The sight of y/n slobbering on his dick is now engraved in his head. He let out a wanton moan when she played with his balls, recalling the memory of him performing the same ministration on himself with her beautiful hands.
He can feel the familiar sensation spreading down below, his throat constricting as the stimulation of her sucking and licking becoming too much. Before she could continue, Bakugou reached over and lifted her head by her hair.
"I can't hold it in any longer. I need to be inside you now," his voice was strained to point where it came out as a whisper.
Pushing her back gently, Bakugou latched his mouth onto hers as he spread her legs wide apart. Revealing a canal of her wetness dripping from her panties to the inner thighs. Bakugou licked his lips hungrily. Mentally slapping himself for not tasting her before she gave him head. He'll make sure to explore that endeavor later.
Lips still locked, Bakugou tugged the bottom half of her laced panties aside, strings of her glistening wetness shimmering, and positioned himself at her aching entrance. The tip of his cock teased her folds, coating it even more. He agonizingly went in slow circles, occasionally slapping her clit with it. Y/N's arms were above her head, clutching the linen sheets in anticipation. Katsuki smirked against her lips at her wrecked expression.
"Bakugou please...," y/n pleaded with her full chest. She wants to know how it feels to be wrapped around him. To be one with him. "Don't hold back. Just fuck me."
Bakugou's eyes grew darker after the demand, pure lust taking control over his body now. He sheathed into her quickly without taking his eyes off of her face. A quiet whimper left her throat when he fully bottomed out. He checked for any signs of y/n looking displeased or uncomfortable, but he got his answer when he felt her legs wrap around his torso, pulling him in as close as possible. Bakugou basks in at the sight of y/n sucking him completely, her legs fully bent back in an awkward position. He decides to pull his cock halfway out. y/n whimpers due to loss of friction but gets rewarded seconds later when Katsuki rams his cock inside again, pushing all his weight onto her.
"Oh, fuck, Katsuki!," she whines, instinctively clutching her walls around him.
"You're so tight for me huh baby? Can't help but to clamp around this dick," Katsuki sneered while pumping tentative thrusts into her.
His hands clasped both of her thighs now, pulling her towards him, urging her to move in a harmonious dance with him. Finding somewhat of a rhythm, y/n fucked Katsuki back by rolling her hips, a synapse of heat exchanging between them. Sweat starts dripping down from the crown of his forehead onto the peaks of her breasts. Lost in thought, he tipped his head forward and lapped up the remains of his salty musk, tongue expertly twirling around the taunt nipple. Y/N mewled, hands searching - reaching - for anything to ground herself, settling on interlocking her fingers with Katsuki's nitroglycerin drenched hands. She titled her head and took a whiff.
Caramel and soap
A popping sound went off in her ears. Katsuki released her swollen tit only to look up with hooded eyes, his infamous smirk on full display.
"Open your mouth," was all he said before raising one of his fingers that she was so embarrassingly fixated on moments ago. When she didn't obey Katsuki grabbed her by the jaw and shoved not one, not two, but three fingers in her mouth. Like with his cock, she couldn't handle the intensified pressure in the back of her throat, gagging instantaneously.
"Atta girl. Just take my fingers like a good bitch. Oh? You like it when I degrade you huh? Don't lie, you tightened instantly when I said that." Katsukis pace sped up rapidly, pumping into her cunt like a madman, fingers still lodge down her throat. Each thrust left her shuddering for more, his hips meeting hers to create a loud song, the noise drowning out her muffled screams.
It became hard to see now, a tunnel vision of just a crimson glow. Soon she feels herself becoming light. Katsuki grew impatient and flipped y/n on her stomach, a tiny oof rocked out from her, and inserted his member back into her stretched out cunt.
Y/N yelps as Katsuki's cock hits the sweet spot - fresh tears flooding down her flushed face, babbling nonsense into her pillow.
She caves, sobbing, "yes, yes, ohgod. you feel so good. you're so fucking good -ah katsuki!"
Looming over her trembling body, the blonde slows his harsh thrusts to a savagely slow grind. He lowly chuckles watching her writhe and wiggle her body in desperation.
"You think you can just come that easy? Beg for me to let you come!"
Smack!
A harsh sting rattled her lower back, causing her to bite down harshly on her lip to avoid showing any pain.
"Such an asshole..." y/n huffed out, oblivious to the way how Katsuki was preparing for her next punishment.
Smack! Smack!
"Not good. Ask nicely for me to fuck this pretty pussy into the mattress."
More whimpers into the tear stained pillow.
"P-Please Katsuki..." she begins, frustration growing exponentially with every word. "Fuck me. I need your cock. I always needed your cock Katsuki. Make me scream out your name when I come!"
She didn't even have time to process what she said before Katsuki enclosed his hand around her throat, forcefully dragging her writhing body to his chest, cranking her head in a 90 degree angle. Cock still warming up her insides.
"That's my girl," he said before kissing her lips again, devouring the sweet noises she made.
Her neighbors were in for a long night. - Both of their bodies the next morning faced more damage than any crusade of a patrol. Bruises painted the outskirts of y/n's body, trailing from her thighs to the divots of her breasts. Katsuki paid no mind to it, seeing how he can make a bloody lip a trailblazer look.
Even though no one wanted speak much about the issue at hand - last night was a pivotal moment for their relationship.
Because y/n wouldn't be making a fresh batch of coffee for the Katsuki Bakugou in her kitchen right now.
Because Bakugou wouldn't be lounging by her washing machine, waiting for the timer to go off so he can put her bed sheets in the dryer.
They found themselves sitting comfortably in silence - the soft whipping of car horns outside her cracked window - Katsuki blowing on his coffee before taking a sip. It all seemed unreal to her. In any other circumstance they'd be at each other's necks by now, screaming nuisances in the air. She considers this whole ordeal a ruse. But it isn't. Thank god it isn't. Because Katsuki never looked calmer or relaxed in his entire life till now. And she wasn't going to bat an eye away from this ground breaking phenomenon.
Intently watching him drink from across the table, she ponders if Katsuki liked her from the get go, and maybe just disguised his feelings with disgust towards her later on. The question will go unanswered, possibly until he confides and tells the story himself, but for now she was content not knowing the what if.
"How did you know I like black coffee?" Katsuki asks, quirking up an eyebrow at her.
Y/N takes a long drag from her mug, indulging in the sweet taste of the caramel creamer.
She smiles and says, "I don't know. Just took a wild guess."
-
#mha smut#mha imagines#mha x reader#bakugou x reader#bakugou katsuki#bnha bakugou#bakugou x y/n#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki smut#bakugou fluff#bakugou smut#bakugou imagine
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When You’re Expecting (Taehyung Headcanon)
pairing: taehyung x pregnant!reader
warnings: mention of fertility & pregnancy complications
note: i’ve been craving to write a bts x pregnancy series for a while so here we go !! if there’s a specific member you’d like to see next, shoot me an ask :)
m.list
FINDING OUT
even before finding out you were pregnant, you both had so much love for your child
there was nothing either of you could have wanted more than a baby
it was always at the forefront of your mind how much you wanted a little human of your own
it was approaching a year since you began trying seriously
a few false hopes and two miscarriages later, fertility drugs were looking to improve the chances of conceiving
the raging hormones which came with the drugs were all worth the positive test
early september - sickness had hung around your throat for days
headaches lasted longer than usual, and crying at the most mundane things had become an unwelcome habit
in the bathroom cabinet, you’d collected a small stockpile of electronic and stick pregnancy tests
one of them would eventually show positive, right?
taehyung sat on the bathroom tiles with you
waiting two minutes felt closer to waiting two months
he crossed his legs, bouncing his knees impatiently
your knees came to your chin; high hopes weighed heavily on your heart
the alarm set on his phone beeped quietly
your heartbeat rose suddenly to your throat
taehyung reached out for your hand as you turned to read the results
two blue lines - as clear as day
they became less clear as your eyes coated with thick, salty tears
he began to chuckle as his happiness trickled down his cheeks
“we did it baby! we’re gonna have a baby!” he whispered, choked up by his own anticipation
no words were left swirling in your mind
your jaw hung open as though the hinges were faulty
shakily, you lifted the electronic test to triple check
pregnant.
as you crashed into taehyung’s open arms, memories of the past loomed in your mind
it was only inevitable
a positive test was a familiar joy to you both
however this familiar joy had only ever been followed by crippling devastation
as much as you tried not to think about it, you couldn’t help but retain maternal caution
however, this time also felt different
taehyung’s spirit, your spirit - it was as though fate didn’t want to disappoint you any more
someone out there decided it was finally your time to grow a mini human to bring into the world
of course, no time was wasted in contacting the maternity clinic
seeing your baby on a screen was now a top priority
just to see their little head, maybe even hear their heartbeat
just to know they were okay
just to know you were keeping them cosy and safe, that’s all you needed
taehyung couldn’t hold his excitement
from leaving the house to reaching the hospital, his toothy grin never wiped from his cheeks
he never said anything at the time since his main focus was always on comforting you
but losing his babies near enough tore him apart
even when you tried to comfort him, taehyung restricted himself just to protect your wellbeing
of course, the worse had already crossed his mind
but it wouldn’t get the better of him
it couldn’t.
you soon learned you were already 6 weeks pregnant
the midwife had to point out where your little baby was hanging out; they were such a tiny thing after all
briefly, you took the opportunity to hear their heartbeat
it was faint over the machine, but fast
there really was a life within you.
“there’s something else, if you just look over here...” the midwife prompted, turning the monitor so you could grasp a better view
taehyung leaned slightly over your chest to peer closely at the smaller monochrome screen
with the mouse, she circled a second bean shaped figure
“the fertility drugs increase the chance of twins. looks like you guys got lucky!”
twins. you were having twins.
THE PREGNANCY
like with most pregnancies, you were advised to wait until the 12 week milestone to begin announcing your impending delivery
and even though he understood the importance of patience right now, taehyung could hardly contain his excitement
it didn’t help that a little bump had already begun to grow
keeping a secret was much more difficult when the evidence was near impossible to hide
already, taehyung spent early mornings talking to his little angels
telling them stories he seemingly made up on the spot
or even borrowing some from his own childhood
“you know they can’t hear you yet? it’s about 7 weeks until they’ll be able to, honey.”
“i know, i’m just practising for when they can.”
of course, you wouldn’t admit that you did the same when you were alone
you attended more midwife appointments than other expectant mothers might
the pair of you much preferred being on the safer side
in the car, when on a quieter, less congested road, taehyung often reached over to cradle your still-growing bump with a free hand
you slotted your fingertips between his for additional sappiness
“you two have so many people waiting for you here, hmm? many people are already so in love with you both. me and mummy included.”
on a sleepless night, you’d made a small pact with tae
it was a rash decision, but sincere nonetheless
“no matter what, they are always going to know how wanted they were. always.”
taehyung hardly needed reminding of this, but it was still a weight off your shoulders
as you tried to conceive, the pregnancy diet had already been implemented into your daily routines
however now that you were carrying two precious babies, there really would be no more ‘cheat’ days for you
no more extra half cups of coffee on slower mornings
although you usually took over the role of head chef in the house, taehyung dedicated extra effort into preparing you both healthy and yummy foods
sautéd rice with green vegetables and lean meat/tofu appeared to be his go-to
but you still opted to supervise just in case
finally being able to announce your pregnancy was another heavy weight lifted from your mind
the other members were over the moon for you both
particularly when they reminded themselves of the struggles you had experienced previously
and also remembering the utter devastation of their taehyung when he had to break it to them
all of them kept their eye out for little gifts and outfits
each week, taehyung came home with a new stack of pale rompers or neutral-tones teething toys
these babies would have the best uncles; at least that much you could be certain of
announcing your pregnancy on social media was a looming task, but one he was determined to pull off perfectly
for filler content between schedules, the members had been asked to film a 5 minute vlog of their daily life
well, what a perfect opportunity!
towards the end, taehyung made sure to include some shots of your now protruding bump overlaid with some more vintage camera settings
safe to say, that day you had broken the internet
love, congratulations and blessings poured in from every corner of the earth
a few comments complimenting how much pregnancy suited you touched you especially
self image is commonly effected by the progression of pregnancy, and you were no exception to that
although it was amazing how your body grew and made a little home for your tiny babies, it was still quite strange to see yourself changing so quickly
your favourite clothes didn’t fit around your doubled bump anymore
and your skin seemed to hate sharing nutrients with two extra people
but for the days where you struggled to love yourself, taehyung easily filled in the gaps for you
sneaking up behind you in the bathroom
(although the mirror kinda gave him away)
he’d wrap his arms around your just-moisturised bump and carefully rest his chin on your shoulder
“tell me all your worries honey.”
you gushed over how much you missed wearing your favourite jackets
and how strange it was to look at yourself in such a new and confusing way
“i know it’s normal, and i know i have to do it for them. but i guess it’s just weird - i don’t look like myself anymore”
he sighed and planted a kiss on a spot of bare skin
those small kisses still tickled you like they always had
“well, you definitely look different,”
you really hoped there was a second part to that sentence, mostly for tae’s own good
“but why does that have to be bad? not gonna lie, it actually kinda makes you hotter. maybe we should make babies more often!”
“make~?”
LABOUR AND DELIVERY
originally, you had wanted to try and stick to the natural route for as long as you could
but after a few contractions, that idea was immediately out of the window
to help steady yourself and wait out the pain, you held onto the kitchen island and swayed to your own pace
eventually, taehyung joined you
copying the same movements while timing your contractions
“they really must be desperate to come out, huh?”
“well do you think they could hurry it up a bit?!”
the pair of you had been prepared for this for over a month
the hospital bag was ready by the door with all of your essentials packed tightly inside
not forgetting the pots of instant ramen taehyung insisted he must bring in case of an emergency
just as he was readying to back out of the driveway, taehyung took a mental stock check of everything packed in the back
“do you think we have everything?”
“i love you but stop talking please.”
thankfully, he understood well that the sheer pain made you cranky
so long as he assured himself that it was ‘just the contractions’, he’d be just fine
as much as he couldn’t wait to announce he was about to become a father to everyone, he kept himself grounded when walking you to the maternity ward
one corridor in and you’d suggested that a wheelchair might be a better mode of transport
breathlessness and contractions didn’t sound like a favourable mix to you
the assessment of your fast dilation granted you an immediate spot in the labour ward
you’d picked this suite specially due to its expansive space
the option of a birthing pool was still available if you so needed it, but the mood lighting and access to aromatherapy was what attracted you to the room in the first place
a serene paradise for your angels to be born into
it was perfect
taehyung explored while you adjusted to your new surroundings
of course, it didn’t take him long to find the birthing ball
“what’s the difference between a yoga ball and a birthing ball?”
there obviously was none, but you took a few seconds to try and be smart with him
“well, sit on that and you might have a baby the size of a watermelon come out of you soon.”
taehyung cradled his torso and pulled a shocked expression, which was enough to make you giggle and cause another contraction
less than a few hours passed, and you had already attempted to scream the building down once or twice
“get these babies out of me. no i’m serious, i need them out.”
realising your deadpan expression, taehyung soon attended to you at the head of your bed
stroking your slightly sweaty head and patting a ice cold flannel on your clammy forehead
he braced himself for a crushing hand grip which came about sooner than he’d prepared for
you weren’t the biggest fan of commotion, and so being surrounded by nurses and doctors was close to being your worst nightmare
taehyung focused his voice into your ear, trying to minimise the tension coming from below your pelvis
his motivational words were broken up by short bursts of pushes
many of which were followed by a string of curse words which just slipped out
and then, there it was.
the first piercing cry belted across the room
a tear or two may have happened to slip from your eyes
finally the moment you’d waited for, nearly two years in the making, was here
the first of two, a little girl who already had a head full of the most luscious black hair
taehyung wanted to hold back his happy tears in order to show some kind of strength
but you and him both knew he’d never hold it back for long
within the space of 4 minutes, the second baby was born into the world.
but this time, there was no immediate cry
the whole world seemed to slow down in that moment as you waited
and waited
midwifes gathered around the new infant, looking for any kind of obstruction
but, soon enough, your son said his first hello to the world
#taehyung#kim taehyung#bts#bts taehyung#bts v#bangtan#bts reactions#bts imagines#bts one shot#bts drabble#bts headcanon#bts mtl#bts imagine#bts reaction#bts pregnancy#taehyung dad#taehyung x reader#taehyung x oc#taehyung pregnancy
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for auld lang syne
“And then I woke up in the hospital alone, and I saw the doctor alone and took a taxi home alone. I went to physical therapy alone and saw my counsellor alone. Whatever you thought, Katsuki, whatever you believed made me spend six months staring at my phone and thinking I’d ruined everything.”
It’s time for your agency’s extravagant New Years’ Eve party. But after a little sabbatical, there are some things you’re not ready to come back to.
characters: katsuki bakugou x f!reader
wc: 7.2k
warnings: smut (18+ please!) aged-up characters, pro hero!bakugou and pro hero!reader, mentions of injury, near-death experiences and gunshots, smoking, drinking, angst with a (filthy) happy ending, me being a whore for glamorous new years’ parties
notes: This fic has been dragging me across the coals since Christmas- I could not get it out of my head, despite how much work I knew it would be to get it out on time. Still, it feels supremely worth it. I have a metric ton of love to give to @hoe-doroki for beta-ing this mammoth on such short notice (I dumped it in her lap at 4am) because she really helped me whip it into shape. As always. 💖
Happy New Year, everyone.
(MASTERLIST)
“Won’t be long now.”
Anxiety bleeds into the already-nervous voice of your driver, muffled by the plexiglass divider that separates you. You’ve been sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic for the past four red lights, barely inching toward the intersection with every green.
You’re well past fashionably late at this point. You’re sure that the commissioned driver’s fearing for his job at this point, knowing exactly how long ago you were supposed to have arrived at your own party.
But you couldn’t care less. The longer it takes you to get there, the better. The vodka you’d downed neat, standing over the bar cart in your polished apartment, sours in the pit of your stomach. And the fact that your outfit barely allows a spare breath isn’t exactly cooling your nerves, either.
You’re draped over the door, resting one elbow on its edge to cushion your jaw as you lay your forehead against the chilly glass. Outside, the crowded traffic casts a golden warmth over the bluish urban night, betraying the slow swirl of fluffy snowflakes that drift lazily into the street.
Tonight has all the makings for an ideal, albeit bitterly cold, New Year’s Eve. But if it were up to you, you’d be watching all the wonder unfold from the comfort of your own bed.
You’ve been away long enough, though, says your agent. It’s time, says your manager. You stay away from the spotlight for too long and we’re going to forget about you, says the Internet.
The glittering gold fabric your stylist presented you with would’ve swelled your heart on any other occasion. He knows your taste to the button. And after breaking into exhausted sobs at your first fitting together, you’d been able to tell him that the outfit was perfect.
At long last, the glossy windows of your agency loom outside. You push the backseat door open before your driver can even kill the engine, stepping out as gracefully as you can muster and pulling the folds of your designer coat demurely closed around your glamorous party clothes. You’re greeted by swaths of flashbulbs and determined shouts of your hero name, and suddenly the practiced gracious smile that you’ve always saved for the cameras is stretching your lips one more time.
You used to love something about this. But you’ve almost never had to face it alone.
Inside, the party’s taken off without you. Your coat’s taken before you can even see who’s hands are slipping it deftly off your shoulders, but by the time you’re ushered into the elevator and sent all the way to the top floor, you’re already sweating with the anticipation of all that’s waiting for you.
The doors open to a rush of guests, each noticing you simultaneously and pushing in to greet you.
Arriving late does absolutely nothing to dissolve the grandness of your entrance. Your attention is immediately pulled in a handful of different directions as celebrities and dignitaries and politicians shake your hands and congratulate you. People you’ve never met are telling you how good it is to see you on your feet again and, despite the overwhelming distractions, you can’t stop searching the crowd.
You don’t want to let yourself search for somebody in particular, but you spot him long before your shame catches up with you.
It’s not a glimpse of his mussed hair you catch, bobbing through the crowd. Nor is it a slip of the edge of his suit, the most devastating shade of midnight blue you could have possibly imagined.
Your eyes, like magnets, are drawn right to his crimson gaze. Lightning shoots through your chest, and you look away so fast you nearly pull a muscle in your neck. You cast your gaze immediately to the red-faced MP in front of you and let yourself stare. Still, from the corner of your eye, you can see the way he lingers, still facing you.
You haven’t seen Katsuki in months. Luckily, your ability to multitask has not faded, and you make easy small talk with the mayor and his wife while you sense him, in all his midnight splendor, disappearing into the crowd again.
A close call. Too close, in fact, not to warrant a drink. You excuse yourself kindly from the mayor’s attention, cutting through the glamorous partygoers until you reach the bar at the center of the room. It’s crowded, but you grab the bartender’s attention quick enough and order the first of many glasses of Dom Perignon.
The agency knows how to spend, for a special occasion.
It’s while you’re trapped at the bar, waiting for that imperative first drink, that he corners you. You spot him an instant too late, sidling between two dancing couples and crossing the short distance between you. There’s no way to skirt subtly away from him now. Instead, you lean more fervently across the bar and immerse yourself in an intense examination of the liquor, shelved decoratively behind the working bartenders.
He hesitates—possibly for the first time ever—but you’re determined not to watch as he searches for the right way to bridge the silence. You spot the way he stuffs his hands into his pockets, and when he finally speaks it’s low and sharp and bitter.
“That’s a nice dress.”
He has to lean too close to make his voice heard, speaking low and gruff to you in a way he never used to. You’re too anxious to care whether he sees the way you close your eyes to dull the fervent ache that flares in your chest.
He’s not allowed to say things like that to you. Not now.
“Listen.” He doesn’t wait for you to answer, pushing ahead.
In the throes of closeness, it’s easy to pick up the tremor in his voice. That kind of shake used to scare you. It’s the way he’s always spoken to you when he’s keeping his temper at bay in public.
He’s opening his mouth to say something else, something deeper and far more expository perhaps, but your champagne arrives with no moment to spare. You pluck it eagerly from the bartender’s fingers with an exceedingly gracious smile and turn quickly in the direction you swear Katsuki’s not blocking.
“Watch it.” He grabs your wrist to keep you from sloshing half your fresh champagne down your front. His touch sears hotter than you’d dreaded, and you can’t stop yourself from flinching at the rough brush of his calloused fingers over your tender inner wrist.
Fuck.
“Don’t run off,” he insists, squeezing your wrist just a little tighter. Your entire body is drawn tight like a bow, but you’re not actively searching for an escape route at this point. Sensing this, he slowly unwraps his fingers, dropping your hand and letting you down half your drink in a couple of parched gulps.
“You look…” you start to say, letting your eyes wander his immaculate form one more time. Whoever cut that suit for him knew his shape well. It fits perfectly. Contrasts his golden hair like the night behind a harvest moon.
Absence has not culled your feelings for him. Especially not when he comes back to you like this.
You take another long, slow sip, ignoring the way Katsuki’s brows shoot toward his hairline when you nearly empty the glass. His gaze darts to the narrow flute in your hand, the prints of peachy lipstick that mar it.
With your heart beating a touch slower, you try again.
“You look good.”
Katsuki rolls his eyes.
“I can’t—” he starts, shaking his head as his eyes swim the crowd. “I’m not doing this.”
“What?” Your stomach drops. When he looks at you again it’s dead straight, burgundy and blazing in that way that used to make you molten.
Now it makes you want to cut and run.
“I’m not gonna fuckin’ play nice, like this,” he pushes. He takes a step toward you, letting your name—your real name—fall from his lips as tender and soft as a prayer. “Explain to me why my agent had to tell me you were gonna be here tonight.”
“Katsuki,” you plead quietly, backing away from him a touch. “I don’t want to—I can’t. Here. Please.”
For a million other people he might press on. He might get angry and demand an answer, threaten anything it takes to solve the puzzles in his brain. For you, his strong jaw ticks and he shoves clenched fists back into his ironed pockets.
“Let’s just,” you begin, “make it through to midnight, okay?”
“Fine,” he bites, but he doesn’t like folding to you. He gets you back by clearing his throat and extending you a palm, drawing the attention of the people around you. They turn, charmed by the agency’s finest reappearing as the duo they’ve always adored.
There’s a glint of something in his eyes as he gives his chin a little jut toward the dance floor.
“Dance with me, then.”
You’ve been to hundreds of opulent agency spectacles together. Charity benefits, galas, holiday parties and the like have always been studded by your presence. But no matter how many times you’ve entered the party together, you never managed to get him onto the dance floor. Despite your whining and pleading and fussing, he’s never ever let you drag him out there.
So this feels like a particularly low blow. But the orchestra’s struck up a dreamy rendition of The Way You Look Tonight and there are too many people watching for you to turn him down.
Instead, you down the rest of your champagne, set it on the bar behind you, and slip your hand defiantly into his.
“Fine.”
His fingers close gently around your palm and he gives it a lingering squeeze that turns your blood to venom.
You’re already racing through a complex plan to survive this attention as he walks you onto the dance floor. Some of the other couples pause in their swaying to send a smattering of applause over the crowd. You can feel the winning smile tugging at your mouth, forcing you to swallow the panicked ache in your chest.
Katsuki pauses at the center of the dance floor and pulls you slowly closer. The low dip of your gown places his warm hand on bare skin when he settles it in the small of your back, and you’re sure he doesn’t miss the sharp little suck of breath that you’re not prepared to hide.
He does not try to speak, so you’re silent as you settle a shaky hand on the shoulder of his perfect suit. He’s as perfect a dancer as you’ve always known he’d be, and he leads you into a smooth little sway that’s easy enough to navigate in your precarious gold heels but sweeps you into the music like a scene from years gone by.
“Hey,” he grunts a few bars in, ducking a little closer as his fingers press into the bare skin of your spine. He pulls you against him, forcing your tense body against his. The gentle dip of his hairstyle brushes your temple as he leans forward to murmur in your ear. “You’re holding your breath.”
You deflate against him, letting your eyes fall shut. When you take your next careful inhale, your head is filled by the heady, smoky scent of him. Your heart pounds so forcefully it’s practically blinding you. But above all else you hate yourself for still feeling all of this, after so many months of promising to force it away.
Katsuki knows you well enough not to try and trap you in conversation in public. But he doesn’t pull back any further, continuing to hold you flush against him, letting your soft cheek brush his with every couple of steps.
Despite your best efforts, you’re drowning in him: the strength of his touch, the fluidity in his movements. His thumb strokes the base of your spine with an easy rhythm that you’re trying hard not to notice. It’s becoming too much. He’s holding you closer than a colleague should, tucking his nose too attentively against the side of your head for a courtesy dance. You’re overthinking too many of the signs. You’re letting yourself believe what should have been thoroughly dashed to pieces so many months ago.
It’s when tears well behind your glittery eyelids that you put a stop to it.
“Katsuki, I—” You can’t finish, pushing yourself sharply away from his chest. Whatever expression of dreamlike peace that had touched his eyes fades quickly as he sees the telltale wet sparkle in yours, and he reaches for you an instant too late.
He calls your name softly, fingertips brushing the edge of your upper arm. But your tears are spilling over and you’re backing away and you cannot be here anymore, not when people are starting to see.
“I can’t do this,” you plead. “I can’t pre—I’m sorry.”
With a final shake of your head, you turn and hurry clumsily from the dance floor, pulling up the beaded skirt of your heavy gown and sweeping, as quickly as possible, to the glass doors shut tightly against the imposing snow on the terrace.
It’s bitterly cold, nearly fifty storeys up, and the wind whips mercilessly past your bare arms with biting chill. You can’t stay out here long, but it still feels better than the alternative.
With shaking fingers, you dip into the tiny bag you’ve been wearing over one shoulder. You’ve stashed exactly one emergency cigarette in its silky depths. You haven’t smoked in weeks, but something told you that tonight would beg one.
You have to back away from the railing to even light it in the wind, but you’re barely two puffs in before the door behind you opens carefully.
It’s the last person in the world you hoped for. And the only one you can imagine finding you out here. He’s got a glass of something neat in each hand—amber in one, clear in the other. He spies the cigarette in your fingers and his soft, concerned expression melts into a scowl.
“You’re still smoking?”
You take a defiant drag, blowing the smoke in his direction. The wind catches it, carrying it in a sharp curve back over your head. Katsuki licks his lower lip, but you can tell by the way his nose twitches that he’s trying not to chuckle.
You nod toward the whiskey in his right hand. “How many of those have you had tonight?”
“Not enough,” he quips. He nods toward the cigarette. “Put it out.”
“You don’t get to order me around anymore.”
“I said put it out.”
Your livid soul wants to defy him. You’re craving the conflict that inevitably comes when you both dig in your heels. But you’ve got no energy left to fight, so you flick the smoke dejectedly onto the wet pavement and crush it under one delicate pump.
“Better?” The attitude cuts cruelly through your voice. Katsuki just pushes the other glass into your hand and you know that it’s gin before you even have to smell it. You roll your eyes.
“The healthier alternative,” you snarl, but he’s finished with your games.
“Come inside,” he prompts. “You’re gonna lose your nose out here.”
“I’m not sure that’s your problem any longer.”
“What the hell’s wrong with you? Why are you talking like that?”
“Like what? Katsuki, I wanna hear you say it.”
He’s throwing back an irritated slug of his drink, but he bristles, gesturing wildly with the cup.
“Like we’re not gonna be partners anymore.”
His voice is punctuated by a horrible, involuntary sob that breaks from your lips. He’s always been able to read you so well, picking up on things that you’re not even ready to acknowledge. But he’s right. That is how you’ve been speaking, because you can’t even imagine standing next to him in a photo right now, let alone letting him take your life into his hands.
Katsuki moves forward, shocked by your tears, but you hold your empty palm out straight and, like he would only for you, he relents.
“Because I don’t think we can be anymore.”
“Shut up. Look at you. You’re fine. You look…” his eyes cast briefly over your form, “fine.”
You clap a hand protectively to your abdomen, remembering the painful tug and knowing that he’s missing the point.
“That’s not why,” you snap through your tears. “That’s not even…close to why. Katsuki, don’t be dense.” Your voice is breaking because you’re about to say it, the thing you couldn’t even bring yourself to feel as you were zipped into your gown earlier tonight. And if you’re going to say it, there’s no point in doing it with gusto.
Might as well go out like the whimpering fool you are.
“I can’t do this anymore,” you whine, “because somehow, despite my best efforts, Katsuki, I fell fucking in love with you, so hard, and you knew I did, and so you…you don’t. You don’t, and I’ve ruined everything, and that’s fine, but I—”
He pulls your name from the very depths of his chest. If you were expecting fire and brimstone, you’re met with an even more harrowing sight—soft, somber, remorseful Katsuki, looking at you like he’d stop the world on its axis if it would make things better.
The memories are too easy to reconjure, and the sunshine of that sticky summer afternoon that changed everything lights up behind his gaze.
There was a crime syndicate you’d been uprooting for months. An underground hideout tucked well away from the prying eyes of hero society. A stray spray of bullets—bullets, of all things, finding the gaps in your shattered armour and nearly taking you from him.
You’d been sure. Both of you. There were too many shots. There was too much blood. The hideout was too well-hidden for anybody to find you in time. Your vision was bleeding out around the edges, and you saw Katsuki cry real tears for the first time.
In a slurred heap of breathless prose, you’d unloaded everything. The most important secret you’d ever kept from him came spilling from your blood-tinged lips.
You were glad to go, if it meant you never had to lose him. Glad to be the one to selfishly leave him behind. You were going to be okay if you never had to face a world without him in it. Because—and you’d choked this on a fresh wave of blood and ungraceful spittle—you’d loved him as long as you’d ever known him.
Six days later, you woke up alone in the ICU. And that was the last you’d seen or heard or known of the man who’d once promised to have your back, always.
Katsuki silently finishes his drink. His cheeks and nose have flushed deeply from the ruthless chill, and he turns to give the city one last glance before moving toward the door.
“Come inside,” he gruffs. Deep shivers have broken out along the column of your spine, but you wrap your frigid arms around yourself in protest.
“I’m not going back in there.” Not like this.
“Idiot,” he snaps softly. “Look at you. You’re gonna die for real if you stay out here.” He tightens his jaw and slams the empty glass down on the windowsill. Then he looks at you with all the lights of the night blazing in his crimson stare.
“Let me take you somewhere quiet. No one’s gonna see.” His chest rises and falls with a deep breath and he reaches carefully for your arm. “I promise.”
Even with a breaking heart, you’re a fucking sucker for him. Your voice is teary and pathetic but pinched by cold.
“Fine.”
He slips an arm around your shoulders—making your chest lurch—and you duck back inside. Immediately he takes you to the wall, putting himself between you and the rest of the party. With the breadth of his chest he shields you from prying eyes that grow drunker by the minute.
You skirt the edge of the party, making it to the stairwell door on the opposite wall. Somebody by the bar looks up just in time to see Bakugou tugging fiercely down on the handle, but you slip onto the fluorescent-lit landing and the silver door falls shut behind you without consequence.
You’re turning around to grab for the door that isn’t closing fast enough as he slips through it, colliding gently with his chest. Bakugou grabs your wrists to stop you, and for an instant you’re nose-to-nose, smelling him and the whiskey on his breath and the faint odour of paint that never quite faded from the concrete walls.
If not for the tears leaving streaks in your makeup, you might let yourself believe he’s lingering in front of you on purpose.
You pull from his grip and turn back toward the stairs before either of you have the chance to imagine more.
Your office is at the end of the hall on the next floor down. It’s a corner office studded with windows, far too lovely for someone who spends as much time in the field as you do. But you’d worked hard to make it a personable space, with plants and artwork and a couple of very comfortable guest chairs in emerald velvet.
Katsuki rolls his eyes every time he has to wave off the odour of your favourite scented candle, but you’ve caught him admiring what you’ve done with his office, too.
Now, the space is too tidy for either of your tastes, a little dusty from so many months of neglect. You’ve been out of commission for six months, and nursing a heartbreak far too immense to allow any casual visits to the agency.
He closes the door behind the both of you. Locks it, just in case. You’re already pacing across the rug and perching on the edge of the desk, gratefully taking some of the weight off your aching feet.
He keeps his back to you for a long moment, fingers lingering on the brass doorknob. His shoulders bob with a deep, harrowing sigh.
“You were dying.”
He turns around, and in the quiet dark of your office his eyes are lit up with a deeper fear than you’ve ever seen in him. He comes toward you and sits in one of your squishy little chairs, steepling his fingers and settling his elbows on his knees.
“You don’t–” he shakes his head and lowers it, pressing the heels of his hands to his forehead. “You don’t understand. You weren’t making any sense.”
“I was,” you bite back, gripping at the edge of your desk. “I meant everything I said to you, Katsuki; I remember every word.”
He flinches. He looks so sorry it’s starting to genuinely scare you.
“And then I woke up in the hospital alone, and I saw the doctor alone and took a taxi home alone. I went to physical therapy alone and saw my counsellor alone. Whatever you thought, Katsuki, whatever you believed made me spend six months staring at my phone and thinking I’d ruined everything—”
“That’s not it,” he demands, straightening. “You didn’t. I did.” He slapped a hand against his chest, the dull thud reverberating through your own heart.
“You said those things and I didn’t believe you. They couldn’t have been true. Not when I’d spent so much fucking time wishing they could be. I couldn’t tell myself you felt that way about me. I couldn’t hope. Not when I’d come so fucking close to losing you so easily, I—”
His voice breaks and he looks away, and you might be crazy but his chin gives a telltale little shake like he’s holding back tears.
“So you thought it would be easier to what? Fucking ghost me like a bad Tinder date?”
That hurts more than it should. You’ve seen Bakugou at his very worst, bleeding and soot-streaked and showing you feelings he never means to. For a very brief period in your lives, you believed yourself to be special.
“Don’t play the innocent,” he snarls. “You never talked to me, either. I had to find out from my fucking manager that you were outta the hospital.”
“So you never thought to drop by? Bring some fucking… flowers?” You can feel the venom filling your mouth and you’re not altogether certain you’re strong enough to swallow it this time.
“And tell you what? That I was in love with you and, maybe I heard you wrong, but you said something while you were dying in my fuckin’ arms and I was hoping for some goddamned clarification?”
“Yes!” You sob, the word ripping itself from your chest and landing wet and heavy on the floor between you. “That! Anything would have been better than radio fucking silence. Katsuki, I was sure you hated me.”
“Well I fucking love you, okay?” He rises from his chair, taking one step forward. It lands him almost right between your thighs and you hate how close he is, but you have no power to pull away. He cups your jaw in strong, gentle fingers, forcing your eyes to his.
“I fucked up,” he presses. He leans down and presses his forehead to yours and this time his proximity is on purpose. You drink it down in eager gulps.
“I missed you,” he murmurs. Despite your tears and the ache in your heart, you give a wet little laugh and nuzzle your nose against his.
“I missed you, too.”
He takes your hands and pulls them both to his chest. And for a long moment you just sit there, curled over one another in the dark and growing accustomed to the idea of being okay again.
“Did you just…” you start after a long moment of silence. His eyelashes flutter against your cheek as he tucks his cheek against yours, but the grin that pulls your mouth is enough for him to stand back and look at you.
“Did you just admit to making a mistake?”
You’re laughing at your own joke before Katsuki can even roll his eyes. But he’s scowling good-naturedly and tugging himself against you by the hips.
“C’mere, you brat.”
He’s leaning in to close the distance between you when muffled chanting from upstairs makes you pause. You tilt an ear toward the window and light up, easily recognizing the five, four, three, two, one as the magnitude builds.
Bright flashes of gold and red light up the sky outside your window in a brilliant display. And all at once the lingering ache drains from your chest and you shoot Katsuki a fond little smile.
“I guess it’s midnight.”
“We missed the fireworks,” he notes, nodding toward the window as he edges back toward you.
“Not really,” you confess, and the first real big smile breaks through the pain when he steps up between your knees again, nice and tight and deliberate.
He cups your jaw in one hand again, settling the other palm on your knee, where it peeks through the golden slip of your dress.
“Happy New Year,” you whisper, eyes falling shut. You hear the way he smiles, that bare little chuckle that used to make your heart light up like stars.
He leans in and kisses you without another word. It’s soft but firm and so loving, so much better than any brush of the hand or lingering glance. Better, even, than the way he danced you into a stupor upstairs. This is yours and nobody else’s.
And you’re not letting him go anytime soon.
You let the kiss deepen as naturally as you can, dropping your jaw and letting the bare press of his tongue roll against your teeth. You reach up and grab his jacket by its lapels, hitching him even closer as the fireworks die out behind you.
He’s not backing down, either. Katsuki draws his hands from your body to unbutton his jacket, shrugging it away easily without breaking the kiss. He’s pressing his mouth to yours in long, lingering spells, tasting you eagerly while his hands have to stay busy. But as soon as he can he’s touching you again, teasing his fingers under the slit of your dress and brushing them over your bare thighs.
“Katsuki…” you whine into his mouth, turning your head to gasp and fill your empty lungs. He finds the next bare patch of skin, kissing down the side of your jaw. He finds your earring where it lays against your tender neck, sucking the crystal into his mouth and giving it a gentle tug.
“Fuck,” you gasp, and he grins into your skin.
“Don’t tell me you’ve had enough already.”
“Not a chance,” you growl. There are millions of questions flooding your subconscious. But years of tension and desire spiral more fiercely between you. It’s energy that demands release. And you don’t want to wait another second.
“God,” he groans hard, collapsing gently into you. As he presses forward against you, the twitching swell of his erection pushes into your bare thigh. You slide your palms down the meat of his chest and find his mouth again, kissing him with searing intent.
“Look at you,” he rasps into your mouth, gripping hard at the weighty skirt of your beaded gown. “You’re a goddamned vision in this, you know that?”
You pull back to look at him, raw sexual energy briefly dispersed by his tender confession. For a long moment you sit there, panting at each other, remembering how much this is about to mean.
Fuck it. If he’s in, so are you.
“Help me get it off.”
You slide to your feet, pushing him back a couple of steps to accommodate you. As soon as you turn around he’s sliding a palm up your side, thumbing at the fabric to find its zipper.
“God damn,” he growls, leaning in to kiss a path down the column of your spine. He drops to one knee as he works the zipper down the back of the dress—sitting low, thanks to its open back—letting his mouth trail all the way to the waistband of your underwear. All the while, you brace a palm on the edge of your desk, trying your best not to implode.
This is more attention than you ever could have prayed for.
He peels the thin straps down your arms and shoves the whole mess to your feet. You’re bending down to unbuckle the straps on your heels, but he stops you with a hand on the back of your thigh.
“Leave ‘em on.”
His voice sends a sharp pang of arousal through your entire body. When he stands, trailing his fingers all the way up the back of your naked thigh and over the swell of your ass, the arousal disperses into a dull ache that settles in the pit of your stomach and throbs incessantly.
He digs his fingers into the flesh of your hip and turns you to face him. Your nipples are already peaking in the chill of your office, and he sucks a deep breath through his teeth as he slides his palms up your tummy.
There’s puckered scar tissue and new ridges on your abdomen, but there’s no pain when he traces brushes over them.
He pauses, looking down with dull shock tugging his brow. You’re holding your breath again, watching him circle the roughest part of your new scars with one tender thumb.
“It’s okay,” you plead, cupping his cheeks and forcing his eyes back to yours. There’s pain littering his gaze that you’re determined to dissolve, and you lean in to kiss him until he’s groaning into your mouth and drawing his hands toward your chest.
“God,” you breathe, goosebumps betraying you as they race beneath his fingers. Katsuki watches your face as he dips his head, pushing your breasts together and laying kisses between them.
“Please,” you whimper, reaching forward and settling a hand over the front of his pants. You palm the shape of his cock through the pressed wool and he flinches, biting gently into your tender flesh.
“Katsuki,” you pant, squeezing and rubbing the hard swell in a gentle, heady rhythm as you set your ass on the edge of your desk again. “I need you.”
“Jesus,” he curses, dropping his hands and reaching desperately for his tie. “You’re gonna fuckin’ kill me before I even get my cock out, sweetness.”
It’s the dirtiest thing he’s ever said to you. And it shows. You’re a shivering, lustblown mess already, but the petname that falls from his lips is enough to make you whimper.
He shrugs out of his shirt and pushes you further onto the desk, dropping to his knees in front of you and pushing your thighs apart with strong fingers.
“Always kinda wanted to do this in here,” he confesses with that cocky smirk that’s always made a hummingbird out of your heart.
But Katsuki doesn’t give you too much time to swoon over his pretty words, kissing a path up the inside of one plush thigh and nipping at your sensitive flesh. He helps you brace your heels against the rug and lift your hips, peeling your underwear off and rucking it down your knees. There’s something very naughty about the way it feels to settle your bare ass on your polished desk.
But there’s something even naughtier about the way it feels to have Katsuki on his knees in front of you.
He pushes your thighs apart again, harsher this time, and settles your knees over his shoulders. You’d like to ride the wave of self-consciousness that threatens to crest when his breath ghosts over the folds of your heated sex.
He pushes higher for a moment, taking your sides in his hands and drawing lovely little kisses down the rough length of your scar. You push self-consciously at his head, making him pull pack and settle a hand over the flesh instead. He tilts his chin up, shooting you a look so filled with guilt and sorrow it nearly shatters the moment.
He wasn’t there for the pain. And as he kisses back down to your hips and thighs, you let yourself hope that this will be enough to make up for it on both sides.
But then he leans in and licks a long stripe up your cunt and the groan that echoes from his chest makes it hard to do anything but cum on the spot.
“Fuck,” you sigh wantonly, letting your head fall back as you brace your palms on the wood behind you. Your fingertips dig into the surface and he settles into an easy rhythm, slipping his arms under your thighs and tugging you tight to his face.
He’s not shy with his voice, either, grunting and sighing into your pussy with every stroke of his tongue. The noises double your pleasure almost immediately, coupled with the obscene slurps that vibrate all the way up your spine.
It doesn’t take long at all for him to find that tender little spot, the perfect direction from which to swirl his tongue against your clit. It’s obvious in the way your legs go tight around the sides of his head, the way you shiver and cry and clap a hand to the back of his head.
He grunts hard into your body when your fingers rake through his hair, harder still when your tense thighs press the narrow points of your heels into the flesh of his back.
“Katsu,” you whimper, already fucked out and tender like you’ve never been for him, “I’m gonna cum. Fucking shit, I-I’m gonna…”
He takes your warning like a hit, leaning more fiercely into you, keeping his rhythm with intense precision. Later, you’ll try not to think about why he’s so good at this. But right now, all you can think about is the way your pleasure rears up and crashes over you, sending loud gasps and breathy mewls of ecstasy from your chest as you squeeze his head and pull his hair and roll your hips shakily into his persistent mouth.
“Jesus Christ,” he snarls, sitting back on his haunches and swiping a palm over his flushed lips. He looks up at you, rubbing your thigh with one free hand as you come down panting from your ecstatic high. Between his legs, his cock juts obscenely down one thigh of his suit pants, and he palms himself shamelessly as he gets to his feet, taking in every inch of your pleasure-soaked self.
“You’re gonna make me cream my fuckin’ pants someday,” he chides, fumbling with his belt and impatiently shucking his pants. His undershorts follow closely, and you’re barely on your feet again before he takes you by the shoulders and turns your back to him.
“C’mere.” He slides a hand under one of your thighs, hitching it gently onto the edge of your desk and coming up tightly behind you. The brush of his knuckle against your ass proves that he’s stroking himself, and the tip of his stiff cock leaves a little print of wet precum on the back of your leg.
“Please,” you moan, still hazy and shaken from your first orgasm. Still endlessly needy, though, when Katsuki’s involved. “God, baby, just fuck me already.”
“Fuckin’ hell, you can’t say shit like that,” he groans, twitching behind you. “It’s like you don’t know how fuckin’ sexy you are.”
He braces a hand on your bare hip and then you feel it, the tip of his drooling cock pressing up between your slippery folds. It’s enough to make you whine and arch your back, wiggling your hips impatiently against his.
It’s enough to make Katsuki lose it.
“Shit,” he growls, gripping the fat of your hip and pushing forward, sliding home with one smooth thrust. He bottoms out inside you right away, buried perfectly in your belly and making you feel every inch.
“Baby—” you start to breathe, but he doesn’t waste time. Katsuki reaches around and lays his palm flat on your sternum, pulling you back against him. He keeps his other hand braced on your hip for leverage, dropping his mouth to the crook of your shoulder while he starts to thrust.
All you can do is keep your knee planted on the edge of your desk and try not to scream as he fucks you in steady, long thrusts, lapping and sucking all along the side of your neck while his hand roams over your chest and thumbs your nipple. Whatever hairstyle you’d left the house with has come long undone by now and you’re sure that if your makeup wasn’t smudged before, it’s certainly not going to survive the drool and sweat and heat that he’s forcing through you with every push of his hips.
The slap of his body against yours fills the space, punctuated only by your harsh pants and quiet whines of pleasure. Katsuki’s fingers dig harshly into your hip, gripping you tighter each time he anchors himself back into your fluttering cunt. Your walls are clamping ruthlessly around him, but he doesn’t miss a beat, slipping that free palm away from your nipples and down your belly to strum rhythmically at the swell of your stiff clit.
“I love you,” he grunts breathlessly behind you, and the raw truth behind it brings a rush of warmth to your chest you can’t ignore. You turn your head sharply towards him, pushing your forehead to his and feeling every beat as his breathing becomes laboured.
His body’s growing tight behind yours, his thrusts losing some of their impeccable rhythm as his brow knits against yours. He’s concentrating hard—holding back, you realize—and you reach down to cover his hand that braces your hip, giving it a relenting squeeze.
“Baby,” you plead. “Let go for me, baby, I can feel it.”
“God,” he mutters. “No—fuck, gonna make you—with me, sweetness.” Your body is clenching in preparation for your own climax already, and the fact that he can even pick up on it shouldn’t surprise you.
“I’m there,” you promise. “I’m there, Katsuki, fuck, just cum for me. Please.”
His arms tighten around you, seizing you hard against his heaving chest. You lean forward and seal your mouth against his, kissing him as he loses control and cums with a shout that echoes at the back of your throat.
He grabs your ass in one hand and fucks madly into you, spurting warm handfuls of cum into your belly and biting down hard on your lower lip. The erratic twitch of his fingers on your still-aching clit and the warm release inside you is enough to bring you to another tight, simpering little peak—not as powerful as the first one, but just as significant.
He stays behind you for a long moment, pinning you to the desk while he goes soft inside you. Finally he peppers kisses down the back of one shoulder and steps away from you, already smoothing his hair and taking in the image of you, in nothing but your heels, dripping with his cum.
The first of many, you let yourself hope, as you turn to carefully face him.
“I guess we missed the countdown,” you quip, reaching for your discarded panties. Navigating the strappy thing seems a great deal more complicated now that it’s not Katsuki tearing them off you.
He smirks at you in a way that does not make it easier to concentrate on the task at hand. Especially since he’s watching you struggle, easily buttoning himself into his now-creased shirt.
“I didn’t miss a thing.”
He’s already half-clothed by the time you get your underwear on again, stooping to collect your delicate dress from the floor and thumbing the sequins that pepper its surface. His smirk has dissolved into another pensive look as he examines the cloth.
“If I’d known,” he tells you, pressing the scratchy fabric into your hands, “I never would’ve—”
You lean up and push your mouth to his, soft and loving and just enough to silence him.
“I know.”
Once Katsuki’s got the rest of his clothes on, he helps you carefully into your dress and gets behind you one more time to help you zip it. He can’t stop kissing you even for a minute, peppering his lips over your back, neck, arms. He turns you around and takes your hands, kissing the backs of each palm with devotion that, if you stop and think about it, you’ve seen in his eyes a thousand times before.
“You’ll make it up to me,” you promise good naturedly, letting him slide his arms around your waist. He looks at you again, diligent and honest.
“I will.”
“Good.”
You slide your hands up his sleeves of heart-stealing midnight blue, smiling so big it ought to hurt. You tilt your head toward the door, giving your chin a little jerk as you squeeze his biceps through the pressed wool.
“For a start,” you say, daring to lean a little closer while he’s still feeling tender, “how about another dance?”
#bakugou x reader#bakugo x reader#bakugou katsuki#bnha x reader#bakugo katsuki#bakugo#my hero academia#bakugou#bnha#bnha bakugou#bnha bakugo#it's new years eeeeeeve and i am not#spending it with him#sigh#;.;
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Title: At Sunrise
Summary:
“If I give birth while looking out at the sunset, do you think I’ll forget what happened... in the war?” Hange cocked her head to the side and whatever subtle smile on her face had faded into something more desolate.
“Do memories even work that way?” Levi asked.
“Maybe they do? All I know is when I see the setting sun, I don’t wanna think of death anymore. I wanna think of life.”
Hange wants to give birth to her child at sunset and Levi and Hange both learn that it's not that simple. Written for Levihan Week 2021, Day 3: Sunset
Link: AO3
Notes:
Written for Levihan Week 2021, Day 3: Sunset, organized by @levihanweek.
I hope you enjoy!
Hange’s pregnancy had been far from peaceful. As time passed though, as her stomach swelled, Hange transformed from the embodiment of chaos into this strangely calm creature. And their home had started to feel more like a sanctuary than a warzone.
Having dealt with the worst of Hange’s restlessness, Levi was still always searching for conflict in that very suspicious silence. He searched for conflict in the silent kitchen, in the clatter of plates, the clank of the utensils on the plates and pots.
The noise was all his though. Hange had gone out to the balcony for some fresh air just a while ago.
She had a very annoying habit of wandering off without telling him and Levi had more than nine months to confirm it for himself and to build contingency plans. He knew what to do. He set an internal timer for fifteen minutes like he did every other time before. He would never leave Hange alone for anything more than fifteen minutes at a time.
But he never told her that. In between housework, in between dusting each room, he was counting down. When the countdown was close to five, he was already on his way to the balcony. When it was down to two, he already had a clear view of what was beyond the glass door.
By the time his internal counter fell to one, he was watching Hange. Her back was towards him, her hair was down and she was sitting on the sun chair.
Strangely relaxed, strangely at peace.
After such an eventful pregnancy, even peace had a way of alerting Levi’s primitive instincts. He couldn’t tell too much from her back, but her movements were too relaxed. It was far from what he had expected from someone who had always approached adversity with a confident stride.
Just one look. Levi told himself. He dropped his mop by the side of the glass door and walked out and onto the balcony.
The back view of Hange didn’t lie. She was slower than usual, but she wasn’t at all sluggish. It seemed like she wasn’t in a hurry at all, as if frozen in time. When Levi stood closer, got a clearer side view, he started to figure for herself what had her in such a state.
A large baby bump. Something he had gotten used to overtime. With Hange relaxed, her shoulders dropped and slouched on the sun chair, it was bigger.
She had a clumsily folded paper crane propped on her belly. Her hands were busy folding another one. Her belly was a table where she would rest her hands during her short breaks in between.
She looked like she had found joy in the process. Levi didn’t have to ponder for long to figure out what exactly made a few paper cranes amusing enough to entertain even Hange.
The paper crane on her belly hopped for a split second, carried by the air or maybe some trick of gravity.
Levi stifled a smile. He walked closer, slowly at first. When the crane hopped again, Levi sped up then leaned over until his face was inches away from her.
Hange looked up at him, her eyes wide, a grin plastered on her lips. “Try it.” Her tone had been welcoming, as if she hadn’t at all been surprised by Levi barging in on whatever intimate moment she had with her belly.
“Try what?” Levi asked. He noticed the pile of papers right between them, cut out in squares.
Hange pulled one from the pile, held it gently between her fingertips and she started to fold them, clumsily, very clumsily.
Maybe she just didn't do too well with anything hands-on, or maybe the pains of giving birth had made it a little more difficult to align corners perfectly with the first folds.
Either way, the important thing was Hange enjoyed it. The safe and peaceful activity of folding paper cranes and propping it on her belly had kept her busy, kept her productive and more importantly kept her too distracted to ponder work and the impending labor.
Levi followed suit, to humor her or to just enjoy those tranquil bonding moments few and far between. Admittedly, his own attempts at folding a bird were neater than Hange’s.
She didn’t seem to mind. “Hey! Let’s use that.” In fact, she looked pretty excited to have a more deftly folded bird on her belly.
Her enthusiasm was contagious and Levi found himself taking the initiative. He gingerly placed the bird on her belly and the paper wings bounced with a neat flourish.
“Not there,” Hange chided. She grabbed the wing and held it lightly between her fingertips, dragging it a few inches to one side. “Then we wait.”
They didn’t have to wait for long. Hange watched with too much anticipation, Levi could have pretended she was watching something a million times more interesting than a belly.
The bird bounced then flew once again, the wings fluttered. A subtle but still surreal enough of a view that Levi didn’t notice how his hands instinctively plopped onto her baby bump.
“Did you see that?” Hange’s eyes were wide with wonder, complete satisfaction. She could have been telling him about a new shipment of new technology from Marley.
“See what?” Levi asked. He had a good guess of what Hange had been referring to.
“The baby, he kicked,” Hange responded. “Watch.” Her grin evolved into something toothy, her eyes narrowed to something sly. She hovered her hand just an inch away from the paper crane on her belly and she started to poke at her belly. Then the skin of her belly moved for just a split second.
“What the---”
Hange let out a naughty laugh as she poked again on the other side. She turned to Levi. “You wanna try?” She guided his hand towards the side of her belly..
For a while, Levi hesitated. “Are you fucking serious? You’re gonna start a fight with your child now?”
“A fight?” Hange furrowed her eyes in confusion, then she put her hand on her belly and poked again. “Well, might as well start the kid early right?”
Levi wanted to rebel. He didn’t want to give Hange what she wanted, especially when she was in one of those impish moods of hers. When Hange poked again, Levi didn’t follow suit. Instead he spread his hands out and propped it on her belly. He caressed slowly. He felt a kick then he moved his hand closer to the kick and stroked around the surface a little more carefully.
“You’re too boring,” Hange said with a pout.
“The kid’s been through too much already,” Levi responded. A restless Hange, an overworked Hange, a kidnapping fiasco, a rat bite were more than enough adventure for an unborn baby.
The real world probably wouldn’t be any better anyway. The soldier inside him suggested. The world they lived in was different, it was an era of peace. Levi was hopeful enough to brush that cynical thought with little to no problems.
Hange had started off with strategic pokes and prods around the belly but eventually, she had mellowed down to caresses and strokes, similar to Levi’s own. Her attention must have shifted elsewhere. Levi looked up to see Hange looking ahead.
The view from their balcony has always been breathtaking. It captured the horizon of urban Paradis, some of the mountains behind it and just a flicker of the flat fields towards one side. Having lived most of his life in the underground city and then within walls, Levi had never gotten tired of the unimpeded view that stretched even beyond the built up land.
Hange would probably never get tired of it either. She had lived within walls her whole life. She had worked within offices for years after that. There just wasn’t enough opportunity or time to sit back and appreciate such a view.
The baby continued to kick and Hange continued to stare ahead. Following her gaze, Levi was quick to notice it. Beyond the built up land, then the fields, towards the direction of the ocean, something else shone brighter. The loud shades of red, orange and yellow seemed to travel farther, they climbed over the shadows of the buildings, travelled through gaps between buildings and they bathed Hange in light.
Her eyes wide, her mouth agape, Hange seemed to glow.
Levi wasn’t Hange and he could never guess exactly how it must have felt to be seeing it from her eyes. She was very much pregnant, utterly bored and her mind was a black hole of ideas. Many of them, ideas Levi would never be able to comprehend.
“We don’t know when the baby will be born,” Hange said.
“What?” Levi spat out in surprise. Hange had spoken up so abruptly, it had taken a long few seconds longer to process. And even with those few seconds, he still didn’t get it.
“We don’t know what day the baby will be born…” Hange repeated, more slowly that time. As if that would be enough to make Levi understand. “And I don’t mind when… but it would be nice to pick the time of day.”
“Why would you wanna do that?” Levi could think of a thousand possible reasons. With Hange though, it wasn’t a matter of what, it was a matter of ‘which reason.’”
Hange hummed. “Just a thought,” she said nonchalantly.
Hange never had ‘just thoughts’ though. With nothing much else to do though, Levi thought it worth a conversation. “Is there any specific time you want the baby to be born?”
“If I could pick?” Hange asked. She paused for a second. “I wanna give birth to the baby around sunset...right before nightfall.”
Sunset. Hange had said that word carefully.. In the silence that followed, Levi found himself foraging for some logical explanation for it. Hange always had a logical reason for anything, even the most random whims. “Why sunset?” Levi asked.
Hange didn’t speak immediately and Levi wasn’t wasting any time waiting. He looked for an answer elsewhere, in the way the setting sun had bathed her then in the way she glowed.
She was on fire again.
Years ago, she had burned alive then for a few days, she was dead. Or so, he thought she had died. Whatever magic the beast titan and the subsequent release of the curse did, it had left him that whole experience as just a painful memory of a very temporary loss. He could forget if he willed it.
“I heard… giving birth is so painful, it’s memorable,” Hange said. “If I give birth while looking out at the sunset, do you think I’ll forget…” She cocked her head to the side and whatever subtle smile on her face had faded into something more desolate.
Forget dying. Forget being on fire as the plane leaves? Right under the setting sun?
“Actually you know what, I don’t think I'll ever forget burning alive and falling into the ocean,” Hange dropped her shoulders a little lower, sliding down on the backrest of the bench. Her belly seemed bigger from that terribly uncomfortable position. “But when I look at the setting sun, I wanna remember something else.”
“Do memories work that way?” Does trauma work that way? Having lived a long life, Levi never really did forget trauma. Happy memories though sometimes had the power to superimpose themselves into some of his worst memories growing up.
Hange shrugged. “Maybe they do? All I know is when I see the setting sun, I don’t wanna think of death anymore. I wanna think of life.”
***
Ultimately babies are the ones who choose when to come out. The doctors and parents can only adjust.
Their case was no exception. It was an unpredictable process and Hange wasn’t doing anything to make it any more predictable.
Levi had done his own research on labor beforehand. Contractions were painful, excruciatingly painful and any sign of them should have been grounds for calling a midwife or a hospital.
The day it happened, Hange hadn’t been screaming though. She calmly told him to call a taxi and take her to the hospital. Any hins to whatever she had been feeling were subtle and Levi chose to grip the most obvious hint. Obvious hints, but in the grand scheme of things, they were still very subtle. He focused on the way her grip tightened, in between long intervals. He focused on the way her breath hitched as she sat back on the car seat.
“Levi, what time is it?” Her voice came out as a weak hush.
“Almost noon,” Levi said.
“Hopefully he doesn’t come too fast.” Hange looked out the window, her head bent back, maybe looking up at the sun. “What if he really does wait until sunset?”
“Labor can last hours apparently,” Levi whispered. He took one breath and spoke a little louder. “Hange, does it hurt?”
Eyes closed, breaths coming quicker, Hange spoke up. “It’s nothing I can’t handle.”
Long intervals between episodes of pain became shorter and shorter with every development. They were given a room, a bed and everyone was taking great pains to keep Hange comfortable.
Levi stood guard, not even bothering to take a late lunch. Somehow, he never figured out what was comfortable to Hange. Sometimes, she sat up, sometimes she leaned back and sometimes she lay back on the bed. She was always fidgeting then changing positions and all Levi could do was adjust.
The rhythm of her breathing never evened out to something predictable.
He couldn’t blame her. Historia had told him that contractions felt like something was reaching inside her and twisting their gut. Sometimes that invisible hand was gripping her organs tightly enough to tear at it.
And the pain always came at regular intervals.
Hange was stoic though and Levi could never tell exactly how she felt. In those moments of reprieve, she was looking out the window. And when the pain came and went, she let out a hitch breath and grip the bed covers a little tighter.
To humor her even in the tense silence, Levi looked out the window too. If his own guess had been right, Hange was waiting for the sun to set. When he followed, thought too deeply into the minute movements of the sun, he found time continued to move albeit at a snails pace. He found that he was very much contented positioning Hange’s hands on his, and absorbing whatever strong grip that came with each contraction.
It was late into winter, the sun would usually set by four. An hour before four, Hange seemed tranquil. Levi started to entertain some pessimistic thoughts. “Hange?”
“Hm?” Hange didn’t look back at him.
“What if the baby doesn’t come out by sunset?”
“He’ll come out,” Hange said.
“How do you know?”
“I can feel it.” It soon followed, the small gesture that could have been all the pain Hange was willing to show. She clutched the blanket tighter with one shaking hand. Her jaw dropped, an exhale released and Hange closed her eyes. Then her face crumpled.
Levi could have sworn he saw tears. “Should I call the nurses?” His hand was halfway to the call button.
“No, don’t put me to sleep. I wanna experience… “ The sunset? The life? Hange still had the strength to shake her head and Levi suspected desperation was a major fuel.
That was enough for Levi to hesitate then sit back down on the chair next to the bed. Only an hour until sunset, and Hange was fighting.
***
Hange and Levi were both soldiers. They’ve both been through too much adversity, most of them unimaginable to ordinary folk.
Hange knew the pain of getting her back slammed against some crystal cave,the pain of a piece of metal ramming through her shoulder at high speed. Levi knew how it felt to be flung many feet into the air by an explosion, then land feet away from ground zero. Sick soldiers, or even lifeless soldiers caked with blood and dirt wasn’t at all a foreign sight for Levi either.
A long and colorful experience with violence or pain could only do so much to prepare Hange for the pain of human birth. It hadn’t done enough to subdue whatever turning sensation had settled in Levi’s stomach.
When Hange’s wracked with ragged breaths and choked sobs, Levi’s stomach turned. During those respites in between, they looked back out at the sun together, then they turned counting down until sunset into a game.
If one looked closely at the movement of the brightest streams of light, they could figure out for themselves how far the sun had already descended into the horizon. The light always started white. When it shifted to a subtle orange, it still told of an abundance of time. When the orange seemed to glow though, the bright shifts in color could have been screaming at them to hurry.
***
By whatever magic, or maternal instinct, Hange was right. By sunset, the baby was ready to come out.
There was no grand announcement nor grand celebration but Levi didn’t expect that anyway. He couldn’t help but wish though that the development had come a little less subtly.
Leading up to sunset, the nurses were suddenly coming to check on Hange too often. When Levi started to count, he estimated four to five minutes between each visit.
Around the time when the sun started to shift from a bright orange glow to a red one, when splashes of purple settled in the blue sky, a doctor visited.
The sky was beautiful, a very beautiful purple. It was the prologue to the beautiful sunset they had watched together in the balcony, the sunset Hange must have been dreaming of giving birth under.
But Hange wasn’t look at it.
She couldn’t look at it when too many things were happening at once. The doctor was explaining something about a feet first delivery, an umbilical cord that was falling out, and something inside her that was failing to dilate. Then he was suggesting a c-section.
Emergency surgery. If she wanted to save the baby, she had to get it out as soon as possible.
There were no yes or no questions to answer, no questions on preferences. All they understood was if they wanted the baby to survive, Hange had to consent to being wheeled to the emergency room, to be put to sleep and ultimately, to go under the knife.
The sky turned purple, the light blue almost completely blanketed over and the surgery was underway.
Was there a wide window in the surgery room? Levi asked himself for a second. He had followed while they wheeled her in just to take a peek. He was disappointed to find that there was none.
Alone in her hospital room, he allowed himself a sardonic smile. Of course, she wouldn't care, she was dead asleep. He walked towards the wide window, settling himself on one of the hospital chairs and stared out.
The setting of the sun was a very gradual process and it was an excruciatingly slow one. Levi couldn’t help but be just a little grateful though that it had been slow. The chaos that had ended with Hange under the knife had only been long enough for the sky to turn from a light blue to a more subtle purple. It was still early enough in the evening that the sun still peeked out from under the horizon etched by the urban sprawl.
The purple and the bright red still touched the streets and some of the more hidden corners still reflected the many shades of orange and red, too many of them to pick out. When Levi narrowed his eyes, focused on the red, he could have sworn the streets were on fire.
He looked back at the sky and traced the horizon. In the silence, he started to notice that when he focused on the right colors, the sky seemed to be on fire too. When he thought back to the right memories, the sky seemed to burn brighter, so bright he could almost hear it.
He heard everything from the rumbling of the titans, to the whirring of the airplane. When he made out the burning on the horizon, the small burning figment, he started to hear even the distant screams and slicing of the blade. He could never be too sure if it had been her.
Soon, he felt it, the weight of grief, the stiffness that came with death and the utter desolation and desperation that came with his mind trying to answer the question, What now?
All I know is when I see the setting sun, I don’t wanna think of death anymore.
At first, it had seemed like a strange comment to Levi. Hange though had a special talent of always being right, or at least always making sense in retrospect. Alone in the room, completely hypnotized by the horizon, Levi had to admit, when he saw the setting sun, when took time to think deeply into it, he saw death.
He tried to look away, in an attempt to focus instead on the dim corners of the hospital interior. The corners seemed to still catch the most fiery light and he still heard the rumbling, the slicing of blades. He sat back on Hange’s empty hospital bed and pondered for a second longer.
How long would he be seeing death? And reality might have been on a mission to answer him.
As soon as he took a deep breath then mustered the courage to find beauty at the end of the journey of the setting sun, he started to hear it just above the sound of the distant rumbling.
There was faint crying. There was a click of the door, the rolling of the sliding door. Then the crying was not so faint anymore. It was coming from right behind him.
“Mr. Ackerman, your son.” A nurse’s voice.
The cry was rough, ragged and it tickled at Levi’s ears but it sounded much louder than distant screams and the distant sounds of titan steps.
Life.
The baby was swaddled in a piece of cloth. He was small enough that Levi had to hold his arms close to himself to snugly cradle the child.
He admired the warmth of the blanket, the warmth of human touch and the profound way at which it had taken over every other feeling before. Suddenly, he wasn’t smelling the coast anymore or the smell of gasoline, he was smelling some strange smell, a mixture of sweet milk and honey, enough to pull at his lip and leave his eyes moist.
When he looked at the sunset again, he started to enjoy the gradual way at which the colors changed, he was starting to enjoy the way it bathed the dim room with some strange combination between orange and purple.
It was a beautiful evening outside and it would have been nice if Hange could see it too. “How’s Hange?” Levi asked. It had felt like he had been reflecting for a while.
The nurse was still behind him and it didn’t look like she had been waiting for a while. “She’s in post recovery.”
“How long will she be there?”
“An hour or so. I can bring you there.”
Levi took her up on the offer, the baby cradled on two arms. When he arrived there, Hange was fast asleep and Levi couldn’t help but ruefully note, the recovery room did not have a wide window.
***
Hange was still in and out of consciousness. Her eyes fluttered and her hand was propped lightly just above the wound. With the way she had turned to the window and the way her eyes opened just wide enough to show a faded glimmer, Levi sensed disappointment.
“Luke was born at sunset,” Levi said, just an attempt to console Hange. I wish you could have seen it. Was that the best thing to say? Before he could even mouth them, he stopped himself.
“How did the sunset look?” Hange asked.
“Like all sunsets.” If he couldn’t console her, he could at least sour grape with her.
“What colors?”
“Purple, blue…” Levi started.
“Orange? And red?” Hange completed. She turned to him, a weak grin on her face.
Levi only noticed then that he had been a little careful with his words. Did Hange still see death in the sunset? When she had taken down the titans, did she ever see the fire that engulfed her? “Do you want to imagine orange and red?”
Hange didn’t answer. Instead, she went for another question. “Was it beautiful?”
It was a simple question and Hange had asked it in such a genuine manner. Levi couldn’t lie. “It was beautiful. Very beautiful.”
“I would have liked to see it,” Hange said calmly. A weak wry smile graced her lips. Her eyes fluttered then fell towards her hands that lay limp on her stomach.
Before Levi could even find a way to console her, Hange had found one for herself. She turned slowly to the crib right next to the bed, to their son who was sleeping peacefully. She then relaxed.
Levi didn’t know how much more helpful he could be but it didn’t hurt to try. “Tomorrow, the sun will rise and tomorrow night, the sun will set again. We’ll see a hundred or even a thousand more sunsets with Luke,” he said. “And they’ll look as beautiful as the one I saw today.”
When Levi turned to the bed, he saw her, leaning further back on the bed, her eyes closed and her mouth fell to a more peaceful smile. “And I can’t wait to see them all,” Hange said. Her voice came out more as a weak hush.
When you see the sunset, do you still see death? Levi had said it as a whisper. It was a question he didn’t want to forget, a question he had been hesitant to ask but something he couldn’t read into Hange for himself. Sohe gambled.
“That’s what years of war does to us maybe. Maybe we won’t ever forget,” Hange said, the only proof that she was still alert and very much listening.
Guilt washed over Levi and he fell back on the chair right next to the bed and clutched her hand. Once again, Hange was right, he most likely would never forget the war either. But something as beautiful as the sunset, didn’t have to signify death.
“It might not be the sunset tomorrow or the sunset after that, but one day, you won’t look at the sunset anymore and see death. Luke and I… We’ll make more memories under the sunset. We’ll make sure of that.”
Hange didn’t respond. Her breath eventually evened out and whatever weak grip she had on his hand and on the bed covers just below eventually loosened.
Levi slipped his hand from underneath hers, stood up and turned to the clock. It took him a while but he eventually calculated at least twelve hours until sunrise.
Too long of a wait for most. He understood though that healing took time. And maybe when healing, they could always start with the sunrise.
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Judgement to the Desiccated ft. Karina
length ✦ 5573
genres ✧ sm type future; asphyxiation; blackmail; virtual_servant!Karina;
✦✧✦✧✦✧
Air did a poor job of not being polluted so Lee Soo Man flooded the world instead. The man himself certainly must be long gone and could not have been in charge of that decision but the legacy of his company far exceeds the legacy of any other human collective in history. Once on this planet, gas was the fluid of choice for respiration and breathing was an unconscious reflex. Now there’s Aether by SM. How very on-brand of them to have the liquid air you breathe follow perfume naming conventions.
Open your eyes and exit the sleeping chamber. Aether has you work for each inhalation, it desaturates the color of the bedroom—maybe there’s a subtle but uncomfortable tinge of yellow—and it makes your nose itch. Your muscles wield much less force than they used to because of the lack of resistance the fluid provides. Moreover, it smells like hairspray as though the ozone layer is taking sardonic revenge.
Screens impersonating windows track your eyes to ensure realistic parallax, playing the scene of divine blue heavens that could not exist. An azure sky is a reward for those planets that have an atmosphere and a sun for light to scatter. Your walls are either chrome or drywall white and your whole bedroom is plainly decorated just like the day you moved in.
“Etymology of bedroom,” you think out loud, though it falls on no ears.
“Bedroom is a compound noun consisting of bed and room. Bed goes back to Old English bedd ‘sleeping place, plot of ground prepared for plants,’ which goes back to the Germanic-”
Plants and sleep are both strong words to use nowadays. The former doesn’t exist in nature and it seems you’re the only one who bothers with the latter. Faint buzzing distracts you from the AI’s response and signals you to the nano drones that swim throughout the liquid to process carbon dioxide from your lungs. This whole ordeal could’ve been much worse if you didn’t have brain interfaces doing the hard part of controlling your diaphragm. The most you need is a purposeful thought. Still, it gets tiring having to think the same thought every three seconds. In. Out.
Was the metaphorical Soo Man teaching a lesson in perseverance? You love K-pop and imagine it’s how trainees used to practice dancing, singing, being charismatic. Being an idol had to be as natural as breathing air. Inhale and exhale. Right now with any antiquated programming language you clung on to, you could write a single for loop that did the same job. For every three seconds: breathe in, breathe out.
“What’s for breakfast today?” Not loud enough. “What’s for breakfast?” you think it louder.
“Welcome, master. Ae-Karina is ready for service.” It’s quite a kindness for SM to blur the bland dystopia you live in by augmenting reality through your neural device. A bosomy woman in a gold-lined but otherwise modest maid outfit appears from the corner of your eye and she bows. Ae-Karina is bewitching and almost becoming of her basis as its graphics have gradually upgraded over the rotations but you wouldn’t misconstrue the avatar as human.
“I said, what’s for breakfast!” It feels impolite to scream in your head, there’s other residents there, but finally the fridge lights up.
“Of course master. May I remind you eating is unnecessary?”
In. Out. Every day, she does remind you, yes. How kind of the company to put all your nutritional requirements in the new air. Aether goes in then Aether goes out. You wish the thoughts of breathing could fade into the background but they’re just like your cravings for food. Always hungry but never starving, whole though not once satisfied. Your eyes pause at her gorgeous face and she tells you there’s bacon. Take it from your fridge. Bacon goes in. Well, the drones take care of the out.
Your assigned living space is the entire 207th floor of a tower. Two hundred and seven floors below the surface. The neighbor a few floors upstairs says that he thinks living deeper is a sign of status. What a luxury. That guy should check the status of his facial muscles, maybe improve his code that lets him tell lies while he’s at it. A couple hundred flights of stairs to swim up is a useless skeuomorphism of skyscrapers in the days of the sun. In fact they were more than useless, you would've preferred a single vertical hallway as it would have let you propel upwards unimpeded. Each floor is the exact same, a glass door that affords no privacy for its residence, a false tree on each side. At the upper levels, malls, convenience stores and other gaudy retail, but it’s the gyms that mock you that you mock in return. They’re always empty.
Finally reaching the top is no true break even if it is a change in scenery. Inhale. Aether tastes a little different up here. Exhale. Can’t say you like it.
Countless satellites form a parody of the star from which the planet flew away, the false image refracted by the upper boundary of Aether. They can’t take away your memories of this star. Looking up at the sky once blinded you with ultraviolet radiation, burning your cornea. It was beautiful. Now everyone’s decided that if they’re playing the part of corporate dystopia, they might as well fit the aesthetic. In a way, it’s self-fulfilling. They wouldn’t have chosen a neon pink sun to compliment the blue and metallic gloom of the cityscape if it weren’t so ingrained in popular media already.
Still, you would’ve expected Google or Walmart to become the megacorp responsible for the state of the world, not a Korean entertainment company. Must’ve been quite the red paperclip scenario. Instead of material design or utilitarian architecture, tacky artistic structures line the streets. The same advertisements for albums that they’ve been selling for the past however long. It's all so obvious, the city could've been designed from scratch to accommodate new forms of travel and goddamn liquid air but instead they went with futuristic Tokyo.
Dubstep permeates your inner ear implants. A notification informs your thoughts that it’s “Hip-hop EDM dance pop with a strong jungle house groove and urban influences.” It’s dubstep. Liquid carries barely any sound so SM affords the option for implants if you're nostalgic for one of the senses. Even though it’s a slower form of communication than direct neural transfer, the noise comforts you. Of course the company would choose dubstep as their background music, but maybe they make money off refunds somehow. It switches to Ice Cream Cake. Much better.
You walk the not so busy roads towards a short brick warehouse in the distance and heavy rain soaks your clothes. No such thing as weather without the sun and water but it’s all simulated anyway.
A warm Seulgi adlib and you know it’s Psycho that starts playing. No, none of your senses are real. The most you could trust is your vision but even that’s being lied to. You could be living in a vat and fed all these thoughts, but then why make it so mediocre? Not paradise, nor torture but a lukewarm in-between. Guess that's what happens when SM Entertainment manages the post-apocalypse. Good on them for trying. The alternative would be a frozen hellscape without solar radiation. Can’t deny their work with geothermal and nuclear energy to keep the Aether warm so that you didn’t have to live underground for the rest of human history. It’s quite great PR to save humanity.
“Hey now, we’ll be okay,” repeats a few more times than you remember.
The Idea Factory Alpha White Delta Green says the neon tubes lighting the front of the brick and mortar building. Your ID card bears a name but it’s not yours, not until they approve your name change. Those usually get processed faster with how often people liked changing their names.
Sit at a desk with a sterile white keyboard and slick new monitor. Type and empty words appear on the screen: “Think for the many, not for the one. We need to think ahead.” A thumbs up. The company appreciates the input. That’s probably enough work for one day. Some SNSD live stages help the time pass, SM certainly appreciated the streaming numbers and it would net you some social points.
It’s hard to say what comes to mind when they ask you to envision a world without the sun and air, especially since it’s what you’ve known for... Two hundred years? There’s no frame of reference, that much you can tell from when you counted seconds to see how often the satellites completed their orbit. SM really took time to have them propel at random speeds, they love withholding sensitive information like that from citizens. To be fair, time is sensitive. Guess the meaning of that phrase changes like all parts of language.
Look around. Dozens of employees at identical workspaces all try to answer the same questions. Naturally, there’s no need for manual labor anymore but there will never be a replacement for human ingenuity. Nice slogan but you know you’re only here for data. Can’t see a need for customer retention though—what’s the alternative, skip Earth? See you on another planet?
“Hey bro, you come up with anything new?” Dave says. Two desks away, you see the enthusiastic, surprisingly spry man play around with a Newton’s cradle. The balls at each end bounce back and forth, not slowing down their rhythm any time soon.
“I think I got something,” you say, “Earth is not the answer. It can’t be, long term.”
“Ooh, I like that. Actually, I really like that.”
“What are you gonna do, copy me?”
“Of course not. You know how much SM hates plagiarism.” Click. Clack.
“Ha. As if there’s a single original thought left in the world.” Click. Clack. The imaginary sounds of metal spheres bouncing play in your mind. They got the volume wrong, no way it’d sound that loud from that distance. “You’d think with all their resources, they’d have figured out space travel by now.”
“I don’t think they want to leave, bro. Wouldn’t be great for profits.”
Your mouth opens to laugh and causes laugh8942.mp3 to play in Dave’s head. “I love it. SM probably hates that sass too,” you say.
“Oh no, they’re gonna arrest me for thoughtcrimes. Nah, they love creativity, just when it suits them. Also, if they actually did bust you for wrongthink like rumors say, I wouldn’t have this on me.” Dave twirls a finger and points at you and you thank his absurd flair for the histrionic that keeps you amused with such drab work.
“NewDrug.mp6. Would you like to play it?” the dry system voice notifies you.
“Woah woah there tiger, hold on.” Dave must’ve noticed your intrigued eyes and holds his hands up. “You might wanna experience that at home. But if you’re interested in more, ask for chicken parm at the vegan place. You know the one.”
Dave leaves his desk. He doesn’t return. You finish your work. Inspire. Expire. You’d rather not.
In contrast to your commute to work, the roads fill with others on your way home. You have to know. Take solace in the comfort of a bench where a huge McDonald’s arch bathes the surroundings and its people with a yellow glow. Really shouldn’t watch it now, especially if Dave says it’s a home type of watch but you have to know. A family of five watches you pass out. They, along with every other passerby, ignore your still body draped over the chrome outdoor seating as you look like yet another junkie. The title is correct after a fashion, the simulation is some sort of new drug. The details of the exploits that happen in the immersive replay wash over you but you don’t need them to know that it’s the sort of lewd that SM would not allow—at least not publicly and not without the right exorbitant payment.
Suit pants and underwear go straight to the laundry. That must’ve been an embarrassing sight but no one bothered to stop you, so it doesn’t matter. Look up where this vegan place was that Dave so presumptuously assumed you knew about and you find that it’s about four Avengers’ stores down from work. He must’ve eaten there before.
“Yo Dave, just wanna make sure, what’s the name of the vegan place called?”
“What are you talking about, man? You telling me there’s some secret underground farms that SM wouldn’t know about?”
You can’t tell when you got to work, a lack of standardized timing would help as well the haze of living in a monotonous dark. “Nah, I mean, for the-”
“I have no idea,” Dave emphasizes each word, “what you’re talking about.”
“I see.”
Work flies by, unusually.
“Hey, can I get a chicken-”
“Uh, this is Maron’s Veggies Only, it clearly says on the sign.”
Clear your throat. “Parm.”
The shifty part-time worker looks around and rubs his fingers gesturing for money. “No digital.”
Over the counter, you pass him a gold coin stamped with a holographic 1 and he hands you a USB stick and a laptop in return. How old-fashioned.
“It’ll sync with whoever you have set as your avatar experience aspect,” the worker says.
“Thanks.”
Ever vigilant as the patrol is, the alleys are the last place you want to go to hide with the obvious criminal element within them all but you head to one anyway. Dump the anachronistic technology in your storage pocket dimensions. Looking at its contents, you’d have to clean that mess up later, but the more you look like an average slob the better. The biggest problem with the inventories is all the people squatting in them. Inspectors wouldn’t care about the archaic ruins you left in yours.
“Welcome, master. Ae-Karina is ready to service.”
“I’d like to go on a date. A special date.” You highlight the key word special and sit on your living room couch. No one’s going to look in your glass door and regardless, you wouldn’t be the pervert for glimpsing into someone’s home.
“Ah yes, master. Ae-Karina is ready to fully service,” she says with a provocative tint in her tone, her sclera disperses to black to match. A pole drops from the ceiling while parts of her maid outfit dissolve which reveals more of the silky skin of her thighs, her lissom arms and most importantly her overflowing breasts. Ae-Karina wraps her legs around the pole and spins around, teasing fingers trace curves on her body to harden you. Her dance is precise but sultry regardless. She pulls up her short skirt to flaunt more of her ass beneath white panties and then pulls down to flourish her cleavage, not trapped by a bra. “Are you enjoying your maid’s show?”
“Very much so, yes,” you say.
Half of a smile forms before a glitch occurs and she teleports next to you, fully nude. It doesn’t pull you out of the illusion however. You just stare and drink in the splendor of her created body.
“You’re not going to touch?” Ae-Karina says.
A feel of her tits and you find it softer than pillows you used to rest on. Soft isn’t much of a character that exists anymore when the whole world is engulfed in liquid. No one has beds, especially with the rarity of sleep. Therefore, her mounds are a consummate dedication to the texture as you squeeze and pinch at her cute nipples.
Her maid outfit rematerializes as she straddles you. It provides more friction to your pants as she begins her lap dance. The weight of her body dragging across your legs and clothed erection induces your carnal impulses further. If only you could fuck the virtual idol. You have to make do with the imprint of her pussy lips on your bulge sliding up and down. Breath in. Breath out.
Ae-Karina pulls down your boxers and spits on your erection. It's not real but her hands so slick on your cock and you let reality slip. Real is for the past, you have desires gratified in the present. There is no real person nibbling at your neck but your nerves activate in sexual desire without discernment for truth. No, she doesn't love you, but when the voracious mass of ones and zeroes says it loves its master, you say it back.
"I love you."
ILOVEYOU infected ten million computers in 2000. An explosion. Calibration engaging. It’s 1:21 PM, Sunday, July 18, 2286 and hypothetically the sun would be out in its full rage. At this latitude and longitude, you’re at what was once the epicenter of all—Seoul, where a fountain caused a chain reaction allowing the hopeful remnant of a world to exist. It lasted a surprisingly long time without the sun and without Aether but the dying planet would succumb inevitably to the ever-increasing contamination so SM of all corporations took charge. A different kind of chain reaction occurred when they acquired a restaurant chain that discovered the recipe for liquid air. The law is on its way and prepared to punish you to its full extent.
You reel while your ears ring. An even sexier version of the woman you already fantasized about appears from your peripheral vision in the crater of your floor. A skimpy cop outfit, striated with reflective material that seems to wane black at different angles, outlines Karina’s curves. She has a tool belt with absurd gadgets, such as a knife baton hybrid, a taser combined with a spray bottle and a Tamagotchi. None of this is necessary. They could just immediately arrest you, impose limitations on your devices. Sure, SM cloned people to deal with underpopulation, but why Karina would be the enforcer is a whole nother issue. Maybe the entertainment company loves their irony?
“Halt. You’re under arrest. Any resistance will be penalized according to the combined Terms of Service of all SM and SM associated products.”
Fucked anyway, you figure you might as well go for it. Escape into your inventory and only seconds later you’re forced out. You manage to get what you need regardless.
“Violation of access rights will be charged to your account.”
It’s so obvious but there’s a reason you kept so much gold in physical storage. As you swim away, the sides of your apartment start to bubble. Bubbles? Already, your limbs feel unsteady. Something’s wrong in the Aether.
“This is standard procedure for escaping suspects that are indoors. Again, this is all agreed to under the Terms of Service.”
“When the fuck did I ever click accept to that shit?”
“When you were born in this world and decided you want to stay in it,” Karina says out loud. You hear her say it. Your physical ears process the vibrations in the air that come from her mouth. Gravity thwarts your desperate escape as your limp body floats on the limit between liquid and air. The atrophy of your muscles becomes apparent within the gaseous atmosphere. She watches you sink down as the room drains of all the false air though her eyebrows crease when she inspects you closer. Your breaths are involuntary. Despite your muscles shorting out, the force of gravity and the pressure of the gas bearing down on you, you’re breathing and you don’t mean to. Her eyes wander farther down. On your pants, a concrete rod stamps the fabric.
“Oh, you like what you see?”
“Shut up, criminal. Anything you say can and will be used against you.”
“Your pussy,” you say and she scoffs.
“Original.” Karina bites her lip as your erection continues to grow behind its prison. You use all effort to put your hands up.
“Please, miss Karina. I’ve been bad.”
“I could punish you even more for sexual assault.”
“Then do it.”
Heat radiates the room in a way you haven’t felt in a while and droplets of sweat form on each of your bodies, especially on the thighs that her revealing outfit parades. Her facial features contort in deliberation and the wait kills you. You bat your eyes at her before Karina takes off her tight shorts and drops herself into your anticipatory face. This makes no sense but none of this life made any sense so you decide to go with the tides.
Centuries of training your respiration has led to this moment, but when you finally have real air to breathe, you spit at the opportunity and choose to suffocate. Then you spit at her pussy and lap it up. Karina’s nectar transfixes your olfactory glands, for once a smell that isn’t the sterile Aether. Your eyes are mesmerized in parallel because of the perfect design of her pussy, a single crease that leads into her hole that your tongue emphatically explores. Karina spreads her thighs wide to reveal a small nub that craves attention. So give it. Suck and swirl and flick your tongue, and the woman provides you the tight clench of her legs as a gift. And the sounds, rediscovered glorious noise. Loud, almost too loud, and clear is how they assault your ears, even surrounded by the flesh of her thighs. Muffled by the weight of her legs, you hear Karina moan in approval but she’s still clearly in charge with how she chokes you with her legs. This is not about your pleasure but hers, and any satisfaction that you derive is not only incidental but probably punishable by SM copyright law.
Karina squirms her hips subtly on your mouth. Her eyes are sharp and she’s just about to stop your hands from moving but she notices them clasp together.
“I’ll do anything to make you cum, please.” you say sloppily as her pussy juices fill your cheeks and drip down your chin.
“God. I can’t.” She takes deep, contemplative breaths. ”That’s more time added on for inappropriate behavior.” Her groaning and brief squeals make her words sound incogent.
You give her a concluding lick and a kiss on her slit. “So what have you been doing right now then?”
Point to a corner of the room and a subtle red light indicates a recording camera. At once, she pulls out a hose from a pocket that could not fit it and the vacuum submerges the room with noise. Her expression shifts quickly to serious.
“We don’t play games here in SMTOWN unless it’s SuperStar so don’t fuck with me.”
“Look who's trying to be a comedian. How about you fuck with me any further and the video gets released.”
“That’s funny, you think you have any sort of power-”
“Yoo Jimin, I suggest you don’t push me more.”
“Where do you know that name from? Right now.” She weighs herself down on your neck.
“You think I don’t have contingencies for if I die too? Karina, we can make this a win-win scenario. We both get to cum, we both get to walk away unscathed.”
“Fuck you.”
Your weak arms wander between her thighs. At any moment, a feeble punch towards your face or another ten seconds of asphyxiation and she could call your bluff. Even if you did have the ability to expose her perversions in any way, there would be no permanent recourse, not as long SM was in charge. So it surprises you when Karina takes off her shorts.
“Goddammit. Your cock just looks too good. And your mouth, how are you so good with it?” Put up five fingers when she motions to remove her top as well, and instead she opts to take off your clothes, seizing your pants and throwing them to join the rubble in the room.
A finger slips in, then two and a third dares. Her flawlessly architected pussy lips clings to your digits and Karina shudders in reply. You explore her wetness and find it’s smooth to the point of having no faults, but her juice inside is gloppy and causes your fingers to stick more than the liquids she spills from her slit.
“Who said you’re allowed to have more?”
You lap up the nectar on your fingers. “Then why’d they make you taste so good?”
Your thumb teases her sweet tight asshole and puts just the slightest amount of pressure on it while you finger her with more intensity. The mass of her butt burdens your torso the closer she gets to orgasm. Her eyelids squeeze close and you see her body ripple in anxious pleasure. Karina shows off her pearly whites, teetering on the cliff of hysteria.
“Yes, yes! I’m so close,” she screams.
"Not yet."
“Fuck." Karina sobs, "God. Damn, fuck I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Just fuck me.”
“My pleasure,” you say. There’s no need for you to grab her since she brings herself down to your groin, which you’re thankful for as your arms are as good as jelly now. Fortunately, your cock throbs as hard as ever while Karina’s slit rests on it.
“Say you’ll delete it all, all the evidence, promise me.”
“You’re gonna fuck me first or what?” Your breath hitches while she makes a strangled noise as her velvety walls swallow your cock whole to leave no room for comfort. Her tightness is stifling and you have to start counting just to breathe again.
“One two-”
“Be quiet.”
But there is no quiet when pleas for your cooperation intersperse her excessive profanities when she seats herself into your cock and ricochets up and down. Sweat emanates from her creamy skin while her legs widen to find a better angle for her supporting knees in her cowgirl position. Grapefruit and other citrus mingle with the scent of the sweat, fruits you haven’t seen except on billboards in music videos. As much as your mind crackles and your blood roars for every atmosphere of pressure Karina’s walls provide on each thrust in and out, you can’t help but reminisce on sweeter, more innocent times.
The white fluorescent lights in your apartment sputter. For all the advancements in technology, some among many things never change. Light refracts differently in air, less bright, but you can see the pure enjoyment on Karina’s face no matter the luminescence. Karina slows her ride to pull her hips down harder instead and she jolts when your cock finds the most tender spots inside her pussy and it interrupts her babbling.
Karina almost hyperventilates when she gets up to spit on your cock. She pulls out some kind of meter from her tool belt and sighs when there’s no beeping and you recognize it having to do with carbon dioxide. She gets back to dribbling saliva and the filament trailing down to your shaft mesmerizes you. This spit is real, not simulated, and it wettens your erection in a mix with her pussy juices to paralyze you further in your already listless state. Her bare thighs jiggle and you can’t exert much force with your hands but her buttcheeks are firm with just a bit of give.
“Thank you for this cock, thank you for being bad,” Karina says as you watch her ass sink deeper while her pussy holds your dick taut. She’s frenetic when bounces up and down to play an unadulterated orchestra of slick noises between your groins.
“You’re welcome,” you accomplish getting out the words between planned breaths. Your hands cup her buttcheeks but you fear they may break with how she strikes her ass into you.
Karina turns around once more to give you the spectacle of her facial expressions as she fucks herself into you. Knead her calves laying on your torso and they take no energy to spread them though she brings them back together, compressing your hard shaft within her pussy. A new game you play with her, a separate rhythm of loosening and tightening. Her feet press on your chest to help her bounce, but the way they bear down on your lungs against the timing of your breathing causes you to fumble. Your cock bends straight forward as she plunges herself into you and it sends prickles to your entire skin, making the new angle difficult but worth it. Karina takes your hand and starts sucking on your fingers.
“You want my promise that bad?” you say.
“Yes, as bad as I want your cum. I swear, I need it.”
She draws her knees up to her torso and hugs her legs to keep thighs as tight together as possible. Karina couldn’t keep her word, she was trying to kill your cock with constriction.
“Fuck, your pussy is so fucking tight. God, Karina, fuck. You’re so good.” Even if good isn’t the word you want to use to describe her.
“Do it, please, please. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, baby. Karina can be a good girl, a good maid, a good cop, whatever you want. Just don’t get me in trouble, please.”
Karina’s mouth stops saying words though her lips writhe, drunk in increasing lust. Her cheeks flush, before the rest of her skin joins in redness while she grapples your chest and whatever spare limb she can find. You still struggle wresting control of your body but nature seems to take over when you drive yourself into her and match her needy cadence. The air in the room is replaced by a new air but it isn’t Aether. Passion, sweat, heat and all fluids that you both exude join squelching sounds, slaps and moans in harmonic bliss when her body tenses and she screams. As her body tightens, her pussy especially holds your cock for dear life and endeavours to wring out all your semen as her wetness throbs and spills. Karina starts counting to three repeatedly and you laugh though your amusement quickly subsides when you feel her juices become more viscous and she continues her ride, even in the dying pulses of her climax.
“Was I good?” Karina asks.
Just a moment goes by before you mentally send her a screenshot of all the recordings being deleted. Karina hasn’t stopped fucking you yet so at least it wasn’t a ploy.
“Thank you, thank you, I love you.” The flexion of her pliant legs brings them all the way back to rest on top of your legs. Karina lays prone above you and finally give you a kiss. The citrusy flavor may be closer to lime than grapefruit but it’s been so long that you can’t remember which scent is which. Lips crash and her tongue lashes out at yours trying to establish dominance. Keep still to let her investigate your mouth while her pussy does the same to your shaft.
You savor the way Karina’s top emphasizes the bouncing of her tits synchronous with the rebounding of her waist on your cock, but your mouth waters when she frees them. Take the shortest moment to relish in the sight before Karina smothers you with her plump globes. You wriggle your face to try to breathe. Inhale, up and exhale, down, but all you inhale is the scent of her orbs’ sweat. Her hips undulate with a pace at least double yours breathing and the echoes of slapping flesh resonate throughout the air-filled chamber. The loudness is unlike any you’ve experienced in a long time. It’s almost a flashbang every time her ass slams into your lap, especially as you start to see white when orgasm threatens to overload you with preludial pulses.
The last words you hear infected ten million computers in 2000. Fade to black. Cut. You’re slammed out of existence back into existence as a sun rebirths both within you, heating your core to a dangerous high, and from your eyes, dazzling you in an unforgiving white light. In the throes of unconsciousness relapsing to consciousness back to tenebrosity, your streaks of semen suspend in the Aether like a dead tree resting from the wind. What flashes your mind in its orgasmic state are two things only you would remember, plants and weather. Your hyperventilation is unconscious but not unwelcome, as it’s the first time in a while your breaths were reflexive even in the liquid air. However, basking in your newfound power, you start to choke. Right. You breathe in and out again. In and out. In. Out. In. Out. Back in.
“Replaying KarinaArrestsYou.mp6.” A hint of vexatious glee in the system’s otherwise dry voice. You don’t stop for it.
✦✧✦✧✦✧
AFF, AO3
It’s pretty silly but the idea danced around in my head ever since I saw the absolute Black Mirror concept that SM had for aespa and I concur that Karina is insanely hot.
As I’m writing this, this Kurzgesagt video on the idea of a rogue Earth comes out and now I have to rewrite stuff to make it at least a little consistent. I’m obviously already going nuts with all these ridiculous sci-fi concepts but this video almost feels too targeted to me writing this for me to ignore it.
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Okay. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna take the leap and say: Phobos is the victim (sorta).
Quick disclaimer: I am going to abuse plot holes and cartoon logic for my cause in a very nitpicky way. If you dislike that, I can completely understand, and I hope this warning will save you a lot of reading.
Also, this won't go into just headcanon territory, I'll put those in a separate post. Everything here I'll try to keep based on actual information from the comics and what I made of them.
That said...
Let's take a look at this scene:
(for a quick translation of the important part, the mother says: "No, Phobos, Meridian is meant for your sister. That's the law. The crown is hers.)
What we can see here are a few very important things:
1. Phobos is at most 5 years older than Elyon.
2. The name "Phobos" is not an edgy nickname he gave himself. Five-year-olds don't go around calling themselves Phobos. So his parents, for some reason, gave him that name.
3. His mother is very adamant about him not even touching the crown and reminding him of his sisters' birthright.
So, after establishing what I would call more or less facts, what else can, relatively savely, be deduced here?
- Since Elyon never noticed anything weird about herself, she can't have aged slower than earth children. So neither can Phobos. This would mean that, as she was kidnapped after her mothers death as a baby, he would have been five. So, he either tried his best to rule at age five, or the council we see as Elyon rules stepped in for him for a while
- this would then mean two things: we need an explanation as to why Miriadel, Alborn and Galgheita fled explicitly from Phobos (I'll give my explanation a bit further down) and second, Phobos' reign of terror wasn't even thirteen years, and a lot of that time he was a child/teen and could not even have been mature enough to rule.
- This also means that Kandrakar pulled up the veil when Phobos was at most five, likely younger, and that the so called "Seal of Phobos" also existed at that time, as both the veil and the seal are seen in the flashback depicting Elyons abduction. For Kandrakar, this, too, I will try to explain soon, but as for the seal, I find it most plausible that the theory @ror-witch used in their fanfiction, of the seal being a royal heirloom and named after each ruler, is true.
- His and his mother's relationship was neither as bad as some assumptions go, but neither was it that good, probably, or at least it wasn't in his perception. See how his memory is of her cradling the baby the entire time and talking more about his sisters birthright than about what he has/can do? Yes, it's only a short memory, but I think it's clear that it's a summary of what he remembers of his mother.
- Phobos desire to rule Meridian does not stem from something deeply sinister, but rather from a childish spite. Five year old Phobos probably just wanted the crown cause it looked nice and shiny, and he was fabulous even back then, but after his mothers words, he sulked and decided to show her. That's his motivation.
So, now let's go a bit further and look at some other things we can deduce from the rest of the comics:
- Phobos has a huge dungeon, a wall of roses that turn people into more roses if they touch it and his plan for the annihilation of Meridian is "Well, Cedric and I hide in the castle and...we'll see". He hates the people of Meridian, but he doesn't seem to have it in him to directly attack anyone until Elyon is there and even here, when he has her knocked out in their duel or locked up as Endarno, he isn't unnecessarily cruel. He's not evil in nature, he's more of a very dangerous child throwing tantrums. ( Cedric is kinda similar, and they both start losing it toward the coronation, but I sincerely believe that before that, there would have been a chance for them to come around )
- The only person he ever tortures or even hurts directly is Cedric. Because one, he likes Cedric and so gets more extreme emotions around him, and two, Cedric never says anything, and just plays it of afterwards, so I don't know if he even fully realizes what he's doing, like a child hitting someone. If Cedric ever just said "Stop it, you're hurting me", Phobos would probably need an entire week to process that input.
- Phobos is VERY reclusive, and he doesn't want anyone to have even pictures of him, and while that could be a God complex, I get some highly insecure vibes out of it, in a vulnerable narcissist kinda way, in that he is massively overcompensating. I gotta admit, though, that I cannot put my finger on why, so maybe take this with a grain of salt and decide for yourself if you agree.
- Kandrakar never orders the guardians to help Meridian in any way, just to make sure nothing oozes out. They likely pulled up the veil for their own protection, so Phobos wouldn't be able to spread far enough to become a real danger, rather than to protect innocent people, as clearly the Meridian people mean shit to them
- while the guards are widely feared in Meridian, Cedric seems to be viewed as... not very frightening or important, as some random merchant feels comfortable clinging to his cape (and rightfully so, apparently, as Cedric just tells him to piss off and doesn't care any further). This further leads me to believe that Cedric is rather unhealthy devoted to Phobos and his tantrums while their shitty ass reign leaves a lot of free space for unsuited people to become guards and tyranize the people.
- the King and Queen seem to have died in rapid succession, and shortly after the scene shown above, yet she looks perfectly healthy in that scene.
Now, what do I make of all this?
I believe the line of events to be as follows:
I don't think Phobos traveling back in time is a viable theory for mainly two reasons: I think his mother would be less chill around him if she saw/heard about his reign herself, and I believe that it would have been mentioned somewhere along the way if that were the case. Instead, what I believe happened is that the oracle had a vague vision of Phobos nearly taking over Kandrakar. Deciding in their random mood swings that today was a day of action, they had the people of Meridian informed that the next male born to a queen would become a dangerous tyrant, pulled up a veil and set their guardians to make sure nothing oozed out.
The veil, of course, made the people of Meridian feel trapped and a horror of the unborn prince who would ruin their lives spread.
So, when Weira gave birth to that prince, a full blown panic spread, so much so that she, in a fit of hysterical emotion, named him after that boust of panic. Of course, people tried to kill the prince basically from the moment he was born, and he was met with barely concealed resentment.
Soon after, Weira and her husband died - whether they were killed, or fell ill, or died in an accident, I have no idea, but I wouldn't completely rule out an assassination either aimed at Phobos and accidentally hitting them or the strain making at least one of them fall terminally ill.
Either the people rioted and Phobos' magic panic reaction or the leftover loyal guard was enough to fight them back, or the people succumbed to their fate at this point, slumping into the state of despair seen throughout the comics. But in the end, five year old Phobos had to be handed the throne. I assume the council still had some say at this point, but he did manage to get all pictures of him destroyed - this order was likely due to the fact that they were mostly caricatures.
So he grew up with the very volatile combination of a shitton of power and no one able to tell him if he was being stupid on one hand, and feeling unloved and unwanted on the other. He withdrew, likely also due to countless assassination attempts or things he perceived as such, and went into a negative feedback loop of being unable to mature and take responsibility, therefore being a shit ruler, therefore being hated, therefore having no one to help him, therefore being unable to face and grow from his mistakes, rinse and repeat.
So, Meridian was plunged into chaos, yet he seemed fine more or less just sitting in the new playroom he made for himself in the gardens, sporadically giving out an order or two and having generally no idea about anything that didn't directly concern him.
Enter Elyon. Now, she send him of the rails, as she was a danger to his lifestyle AND a reminder of all the sentiments he'd be drowning in alcohol if he wasn't too much of a recluse and education denier to know of that option. He doesn't even try. He just lets Cedric, the one person he trusts, handle her, like everything else, and somewhat plays along sometimes, when he feels like it. This is where he passes the point of no return and starts actually trying to kill people, culminating in him creating an army to wipe out Meridian. I still believe that even at this point, in his head, what he's doing is just throwing a nice toy out the window just so his sister won't have it.
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Say My Name and I’ll Be There: 9.3
Childe elected to ignore your groan of pain when he yanked you to your feet. "No hard feelings, comrade."
"I-I'm gonna kill you," you breathed. "I'll kill you and that damned witch if it's the last thing I do." A cold hand pressed to your side while the harbinger threw your other arm over his shoulder to escort you inside.
"I suppose I'll have to train you then if that's your goal."
He wasn't joking; the two of you would remain at a stalemate until your strength grew. He taught you--what you assumed was--almost everything he knew, though for you to reap the full benefits of his knowledge would take years of training. Despite this he pushed you over and over again, every day, after the wound he gave you closed. He didn't give you the courtesy of healing completely before initiating fights with you. He didn't go easy on you either--but it's not like you would've wanted him to in the first place. At least your sparring sessions gave you an outlet to take out your frustrations on.
You didn't count the days that passed. You didn't call for Xiao. You didn't rely on him to save you when all is said and done. It was time to rescue yourself; if you overran the palace on your own, then other nations wouldn't need to get involved on your behalf. If the palace fell, no one except you would be held responsible. You were okay with that. If it meant Xiao, Aether and Zhongli would be excluded from the wrath of the cryo archon, then your struggles were more than worth it.
Yet with every passing day, more and more Fatui agents were injected with the serums that contained your blood--and survived. The only thing that made their successful adaptation possible was the sealing of your and Xiao's bond. With that thought in mind, you were growing increasingly impatient. You were the one that insisted upon training for most of the day, not Childe. You were the one looking for a fight.
"Why're you doing this?" You asked one day while your hand absently trailed down to the fresh scar on your side where he had impaled you.
"Doing what?"
"Training me. Isn't it a stupid move to train someone how to fight when they're intent on killing you? If I was you, I would've just let me bleed out in the snow back then."
"If I didn't train you, I would be missing out on one of the best fights of my life."
"Is that supposed to flatter me?"
"It's the truth. Where else am I supposed to find a worthy opponent? At my current power level, I'd have more luck with creating one." Childe conjured his bow and twirled it in his hand, seemingly debating something that was on his mind. "With your improved skills, I think we'd be able to take the other harbingers."
You froze. "What? Why would you say that? Whatever happened to your undying loyalty?"
"My loyalty for the Tsaritsa and my respect for my coworkers are two entirely different matters. What I really care about is fighting. It's been so long since I've had an exhilarating battle, even after Aether showed up. I would give anything to feel that thrilled again. And that, dear ojou-chan, is where you come in."
"I'm not fighting you for the thrills. I will kill you, I'll make sure of it." It's insulting that he'd even look at your anger as a type of entertainment! The nerve of this guy--
"Well until then I think we could stir up quite the trouble, you and I, don't you think?" His eyes finally left his weapon and locked onto you.
"...What exactly are you implying, Tartaglia?" Narrowed suspicious pupils returned his mischievous ones.
He didn't answer, instead leaving you with an ominous smirk and returning to the palace walls. Why should you trust a word that fell from his mouth after the Lantern Rite stunt he pulled? Maybe a small part of you wanted to believe he had some inkling of good in him, but you forced that wishful thinking down into the depths of your soul. Childe betrayed you so many times; it was in his nature to do so. He would never be done deceiving you either. You were sure of it despite the doubts that weighed on your mind.
.........................
"Bow before Her Majesty, the Tsaritsa." La Signora crossed her arms over her chest when you just glared at the dark throne that sat beneath the shadows.
"I think not."
The clicking of the harbinger's heels echoed in the silent room as everyone held their breaths. No one dared stand up to the cryo archon; it was unthinkable, even considered treason to question her actions. This would be the first meeting with the god since you formed a contract with her. And yet despite your quivering knees, you didn't remove your disrespectful glare from the throne.
"I wasn't asking." Fingers gripped your chin and forced you to look Signora in the face at an uncomfortably close distance. "You know the drill. Bow."
A beat of silence hung heavily in the air and then an awkward cough came from one of the Fatui advisors to your far right. You didn't blink. "Did I stutter?"
Signora's lips curled into a half-amused smirk before her fingers let go of your chin and were replaced by a palm slapping you instead. Her nails broke skin, but your expression never changed even when the stinging pain rang through your ear. "Have you forgotten who you serve?"
"She's not my god."
"Maybe not the one you worship, but I am the one you serve," the Tsaritsa leaned forward from her place on the throne and gestured for the Fair Lady to return to her side. "Tell me, why did you request to see me?"
A quick glance was sent Childe's away as if to check yourself. You had decided it best to at least try the peaceful way out before throwing yourself into a suicide mission. If worse came to worse, at least you'd be able to put your new knowledge to the test. "I'm no longer working for you." The archon's silence urged you to continue. "You don't need me here anymore. You got what you wanted. I'm going to return to Liyue."
"Is that so?"
"I will leave regardless of your answer."
"And you think I'd just let you walk out of here after all I've done for you?" The temperature dropped, but it displayed an emotion that you couldn't put your finger on. "I gifted you your vision, spared your life and that of your friends, and you insult me in return?"
What is this feeling of dread in my stomach? Your fists tightened and you took a deep breath to steady your nerves. "The trials are over now that Dottore's injections work. That was our deal, was it not? You want to break our contract? I thought you were more credible than that," you tested.
"I know what you've been thinking," the archon's thin lips formed a sinister grin. "I know you're plotting to cause an uproar, and I am telling you now that you will fail. Heed my words, Mezzetin, you are and always will be under my control."
"Wh-What did you just say...?" Your heartbeat drummed loudly in your ears and you knees felt like they would give out beneath you. This...This happened before. When did she say that? Where did I hear these words from? Cold, desolate eyes watched you carefully as the room spun beneath your feet. "Stay...away..."
"You work for me, not the other way around. If you leave now, I'll give the order to kill those friends of yours. You're not done until I say you're done."
"You wouldn't--!" Bile burned the back of your throat, and a shaky hand covered your mouth in case you suddenly couldn't hold it in. "You...you..." An unsettling realization came to light.
"Do you understand the position you're in, Mezzetin?"
"It was...You gave me those nightmares! Those were all you?"
"You don't think I'm oblivious to your desires, do you? You will always be under my control."
"If you dare touch him I'll--!" Hundreds of shards manifested behind you and simultaneously shot at the throne. The more that shattered against the seat and back wall, the more that manifested and replaced them.
The ones that barreled nearest to the Tsaritsa diverted their path and shattered against the back wall like they had a mind of their own. Signora used her catalyst to redirect the remaining shards to you. Luckily none of them landed a strike on your skin, but a charged arrow of Childe's landed before your feet and you slipped on the forming ice. His hydro blade was immediately at your throat, along with Signora hovering over you with an annoyed look on her face. The three of you were surrounded by Fatui officers in an instant; despite their capabilities, they were slower than the harbingers.
"If she makes a move, kill her," the archon calmly ordered, completely unbothered by the commotion.
Signora had her men drag you away to the all-too familiar exit that led to the cells beneath the palace. They forced your head forward so you didn't see the Tsaritsa recline back in her seat and into the shadows.
The archon swiped her finger across her pale cheekbone and warily inspected the fresh blood that had run down the side of her face. I missed one? One of your shards did manage to hit her. Such a measly attack shouldn't have injured me, she thought as she stared at her fingers in awe and concern. While your power had grown to a certain extent thanks to Childe's training, it was by no means anywhere near equivalent to his--much less equivalent to a god's. Your strikes, while powerful, shouldn't have been able to hurt the cryo archon. Yet here she was, staring at the blood you drew from her.
She recalled the wild look in your eyes when you decided to attack her. Such a beautiful, pitiful sight that held an immeasurable lack of sanity and rational thought. Your rage was feral, but just like a wild animal, so was your fear of being caged. She could see it in your stance; you were all bark and little bite. The soft interior within her hardened heart actually admired your bravery...only a little, though. If she were to achieve her goals, that flame of admiration would quickly be extinguished since it had no place in such a cruel world.
Her thumb smoothed over her bloodied fingers while she thought quietly to herself. It shouldn't have been possible to harm her. Not on your own, not even with your vision. It was then that it dawned on her the true meaning of your bond with Morax's sole-surviving warrior adeptus.
So this is the power of the Vigilant Yaksha.
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