#either need to take it all the way off or jury rig it back on

[master-gatherer]

It rained so hard I lost part of my bumper shield as I pulled into the work parking lot

[elacular-kink]

Poly-techhic 6: Scaring the shit out of my girlfriend (I fucking love halloween)

Finally wrote some more of my poly lesbians. For this one, we'll actually be going back in time a bit to be seasonally relevant. Chronologically, this takes place between chapters 1 and 2. In this one, Maya takes Kiran out on a date to a haunted cornfield because...well, see the title above.

Character Sheet

TW: Spooky Halloween stuff, trouble speaking, anxiety

Kinks: Hiccups, Embarrassment

"HEY! HEY SUSIE! LAST CHANCE TO COME AND GET THE SHIT SCARED OUT OF YOU!"

"FUCK OFF, MAYA!"

"PUSSY!" I sighed and shook my head as the window up above opened and a middle finger stuck out. "Damn, I was really hoping my slutty werewolf costume would do it for her. Didn't manage to get her out last year either."

My slutty werewolf costume was clearly doing something for Kiki, who I had jury-rigged a somewhat slutty nurse outfit for out of clothes we both had lying around. Even so, her attention was primarily on me and my fur bikini, which I didn't mind one fucking bit. "Th-that's alright, Maya. A-after all, this is supposed to be a date with the two of us, right? It, um, it could be awkward for Susan to be made a third wheel."

"Still don't think you're getting the whole polyamory thing, but whatever. Damn. I knew Liv was out, but I really thought I could get Sue." I realized Kiki was wriggling nervously and decided I needed to kill whatever self-deprecating bullshit she was thinking right now, so I wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her up next to me. "Ah, screw 'em, though! That means I get to keep all this hot girl to myself tonight! So don't be afraid to cuddle up, cutie." I winked at her and she made a whole bunch of not-word noises. "I'll always be here to hold your hand if you get spooked. Or hold anything else you'd like." I gave her hip a squeeze and she squeaked at me. Kiki's autism apparently worked differently from Liv's. Liv you couldn't touch unless she touched you first, but Kiki never touched anyone first, and she eventually managed to say (with way more fucking words than she needed to) that she wanted to be touched and was generally okay with me doing so. Still, I kept it sweet. I'd had to deal with people playing it way slower in the past and in way dumber ways...Susie.

Either way, I brought Kiki over to my car. The car that was definitely mine and that I definitely hadn't technically stolen from my older brother. Fuck him, though. He ran off to New York City, they had subways there. "Don't worry, Kiki, I know I'm driving tonight, so I'll keep it clean. I wouldn't mind you driving my car if you wanted to though! Do you know how?"

"Ah, um, yes, somewhat, but I've never driven on legal roads before."

I adjusted the rear-view mirror to get a look at her. "You, uh...wanna elaborate on that?"

She stared down at her lap, picking at her fingernails. "My, um...my parents somewhat own a, um...private...racetrack?" I wasn't sure if she could see the way my jaw dropped, but either way, she started trying to explain. "Well, not own precisely! I-I mean, they do have a membership in the location of—a-and it's one of the highest levels so we essentially always—I don't consider myself—"

"Girl, your parents have some serious 'fuck you' money, huh?" I made my voice sound as light and amused as I could while I shifted into drive. "Jealous. My parents never had money for shit." I laughed, but it was a little more true than I wanted to admit.

"Is...is that why you're so...competent at sewing? N-not that I expected you to be incompetent, but—"

"Nah, that's fair, I'm not competent at much besides being a sex god and tackling bitches." I sighed. "Yeah, all the girls in my family had to learn to do that kinda shit. Sewing, cooking, taking care of babies, all the 'girl' stuff. Never really understood why, but they had a sorta every-sperm-is-sacred kinda thing going on, so I have a fuckload of siblings, and I'm right in the goddamn middle. But screw 'em, I don't wanna take care of babies my whole fuckin' life. Besides, they don't need me. They had, like, seven other mes that could take care of it."

"Is that why you act like you do now?" I grunted and glanced back over my shoulder while we were at a red light. Kiki had a thoughtful look on her face. "Well, you act in ways that command a lot of attention, and you surround yourself with large groups of people, but do your best to avoid being tied to the vast majority of them in a way that would limit your freedom." I kept staring at her, and she wriggled and avoided my eyes. She always did that, but she was especially doing it right now. "Um...the light is green."

"Shit, sorry." I was glad there wasn't some prick behind me to honk. It was a little too quiet for a little too long, so I laughed. "But damn! You and Liv must have the same autism superpower, 'cause you read my ass like it was quantum physics homework or whatever the fuck you do."

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, um...to..."

I shook my head but kept my focus on the road. "Don't you worry about it, Kiki. Not your fault you're a genius." It was my fault for surrounding myself with people smarter than me, but frankly, not doing that would mean I could hang with Chloe and that's about it. This was why I liked Susie. She was only as much smarter than me as normal people were. "I'm not upset." I waited for a second, then smirked. "But even if I was, I'm about to get some fuckin' revenge, cutie. You've never been to a haunted cornfield before?"

"I don't think I've ever been to an unhaunted cornfield before."

"...you know what, neither have I? But fuck unhaunted corn, what's even the point if there ain't ghosts and shit?" I heard her laughing and it got easier to smile. Good. Even if she was gonna accidentally psychoanalyze my shit, I wanted her to have fun while she did it. The rest of the drive was mostly chill. When I asked Kiki if she liked music, she said she didn't know and asked me to play something Susie would recommend. That was a bad idea, but hey, she's the one who told me to do it. So I got to get a look at the kinds of faces she made while I played an album by a band called the Piss Hydrants. That was fun.

It wasn't nearly as much fun as what was coming, though, and the second I parked at the "farm" about a half-hour away, I jumped out and howled at the moon. Someone probably yelled at me to shut up, someone usually did, but fuck them, it was Halloween. "Welcome to the spookiest night of your life, beautiful!"

Kiki got out of the car and tried to shrink in on herself. She was way better at that than someone as tall and gorgeous as her should have been. "Um, th-thank you?" I hopped over the hood of the car and wrapped an arm around her waist, getting a cute squeak out of her. "Ah! I...I hope that you don't get upset if I get too scared?"

"That's the point, you silly bitch!" I stood up on my toes but still had to hop a little to kiss the tip of her nose like I wanted to. "I wanna see you get scared so I can be all 'oooh, come here, princess, lemme knight-in-shining-armor that ass!'"

"A-aaah!" Kiki covered her face and I couldn't stop laughing. God, this girl was fucking precious. Susie didn't know what she was missing.

The fact that Susie was missing it was really annoying, actually. These two dorks had been gawking at each other since their eyes first didn't meet, and they still weren't getting with the fucking program all the way into October. If these bitches weren't kissing by Christmas, I was gonna throw a fucking fit. At least I had Liv helping me out most of the time on this one. But for right now, Kiki was all mine, and I was gonna enjoy the hell out of that. "So, you wanna jump right into the scary stuff, pretty girl?"

"H-hang on, let me just..." She took her purse and pulled out a little notebook and pencil (what the fuck, this cute little nerd!). "Alright. I should be able to map out the maze as we go through it. That should help us avoid getting lost."

I barked out a laugh. "Oh shit, right, you're smart. You're gonna do this in a smart way and not just run down every single path until you figure out the right one in a few hours."

"I...don't know that I'd even be physically capable of doing it that way."

"Fair 'nough. We'll take it at smart-girl speeds then. And don't you worry 'bout a thing. If the monsters come for us, I'm the slutty one, they'll go for me first." I popped up onto my toes so I could tap the tip of her nose. The confused way her face wrinkled at that was fucking adorable.

It took us a bit to actually get into the cornfield. Kiki got distracted by jack-o-lanterns and the hayride and adorable shit like that. She kept flapping her hands the whole time. It was so fucking cute, and I was glad she mostly didn't notice she was doing it. But eventually, I finally managed to get the two of us into the maze. The cute mad hatter/juggalo-looking motherfucker at the entrance gave us some spiel about a murder or vampires or some shit, I didn't really care. All I cared about was that my tall-ass date was clinging to me and already looking spooked as hell even when we just stepped in. "Don't worry, Kiki," I snapped a quick kiss to her cheek and she squealed. "I'm a tough girl. I'll protect you from Freddy Krueger or whoever the fuck's out here."

She nodded a few times, but still clung to me as best she could. It was kind of hilarious that even with her arms around my shoulders, she was doing her best to draw out a map in her tiny little notebook. "S-so the entrance is here...I think that making the lines represent approximately five meters would be adequate, so with how we've traveled thus far—"

"Babe, we can literally still see the entrance if we turn around." Kiki whimpered and buried her face in my hair as I laughed. "Don't worry, don't worry! You can map out anything you want. Just wanna make sure you know we ain't lost yet."

"O-of course."

As much of a brave face as I was putting on, the spooky ambiance was getting to me. That wasn't a surprise, I knew it would. And the rustling cornstalks and weird noises being piped in from somewhere did creep me out, but that fact just hyped me up. It was hard not to run ahead to try and find the first scare, but having Kiki clinging to me helped me remember, and I was glad my hair was poofy enough that I could bounce and wriggle underneath her without headbutting her chin.

I was even more glad that my poofy hair protected her when a guy wearing fake teeth leapt out and "Blaaaaagh!"ed at us. I shrieked and jumped back, just barely stopping myself from shoving too hard into my date before I burst out laughing. "Fuck you dude!" The vampire didn't insult me back. Instead he just "Blaaaaagh"ed back into the cornfield. After that, I was still laughing, but I knew I'd heard some loud Kiki noises behind me, so I turned around to check on her. "H-hey, cutie. That guy didn't get you too bad did...he?"

Instead of a nervous smile or a look of surprise like I expected, Kiki's face was bright red and her eyes were shut tight, both hands clasped over her mouth. "Mmh!" She made a weird, muffled little noise that I didn't really hear right.

"You okay?" She didn't respond. "Hey, it's okay if you yelled, babe. That's kinda what we're here for." She squeaked again and I noticed how her whole body jolted. And then I realized I recognized that kind of jolting, and I had to chomp down on the inside of my lip to make sure I didn't start grinning. "What's up, Kiki? Has one vampire really got you shakin' that hard?"

After a moment, she let out a few whimpers, then finally coughed out a breath before she sucked it back in with a "*HEEK!*"

I couldn't stop myself from smiling that time, but I at least managed to hold back most of my laughter. "Whoa! That was so loud! What was that, Keeks?" She whined more and kept her hands over her mouth, and I did my best to calm down. "Hey...hey, you good, hon?"

"Mmf...*HMK!* Nnh!"

Yeah, I still couldn't stop smiling. I did my best to be gentle with her though. "Awww, babe. You got the hiccups?" She whimpered and nodded, and they were still loud even through her hands. "That's fuckin' adorable." The sound she made at that and how red her face went drove me absolutely crazy. How was this girl so fucking cute? I kept my arm tighter around her waist and felt how it bounced her whole body against me. Nowadays I totally got what made Susie so into this. "Don't worry about it, cutie. I don't think you're gonna attract any more ghosts than my loud ass was already gonna." I felt her giggle, then hiccup again, and I couldn't help it. I just popped up and pressed a smooch to her neck, and that got another kind of squeak out of her. "And hey, they say a scare's supposed to cure those, right? So fuck, we're in just the right place here! Let's keep going!"

Now Kiki was trying to cling to me, draw her map, and cover her mouth all at once, and it super wasn't working. As adorable as that was, it was slowing us down enough that I felt like it was kind of an issue. It took us nearly five minutes to even get to the next spook, and as soon as the knockoff ring chick screamed at us, Kiki started hiccuping even worse. She whined and buried her face in my hair, and even if it was the cutest shit I'd ever seen, I wanted to make sure she was actually good. "Hey, ring chick! Samsara or what's your face!" For some reason, that made Kiki laugh, and that didn't make her hiccup any less. Ring chick poked out of the corn again and looked at me...probably. I couldn't tell through all the hair. "Can me and my date have a minute in your little hidey-hole? I, uh, I promise we're not gonna fuck in it."

"Maya! *HIUK!*–ah!"

"What?" I turned to Kiki. "I said we're not gonna fuck in it." After a moment, the ring chick shrugged and held open the corn for us. "Thanks, sis! C'mon, Kiki, you're okay." Once me and Kiki were in the little corn hollow (the ring chick stayed outside like a spooky bouncer or something), I sat us both down and rubbed her back. "Hey. You good, babe?"

She pulled her face out of my hair and nodded weakly, but she was shaking even between her hiccups. "S–*HMK* s-sorry Ma–*UCK!* A-aaah...*MMP* M-Maya. *HEEK!* Nneh!"

"Hey, what the fuck are you sorry for?" I put my hand on her head and pulled her down to lean against my chest while I rubbed her hair. She didn't let me just plant her face in my boobs though. Shame. "You didn't do anything wrong. I just wanted to check on you." She tried to say something, but eventually she just whined, and I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and kissed her forehead. "Hey, I can tell that talking's tough right now. Would it help if I guessed what was up?" After a second, she nodded again. "Are you worried that your hiccups are interrupting us?" Another nod. "Okay, if that's the case, don't even worry about that. I'm here to have fun, and seeing you all cute and blushy and hiccupy is totally fun!" That made her even cuter and blushier and she actually did hide her face in my boobs that time. I hoped she didn't realize that was what she was doing. "Any other worries?" She nodded and I hummed and thought about it. "You worried you'll...bug other people?" Another nod. "Babe, most of the people here are little kids or drunk college students, they won't give a shit. And besides that, I'm way fuckin' louder than you."

After a few moments, she slowly lifted her head. "Th–*UK!* nnh...*HMK* those were the m–*HMP*–m-main ones."

"God, you are such a fuckin' sweetheart, you know that?" She hid her face again and I couldn't help but laugh. "So if you know those are okay, any little worries or anything?"

After a few hiccups, she mumbled something into my chest. "It's em–*HMP!* embarrassing. *HNK-LP!* Nnh!"

"Awww, babe," I pulled her chin up and smooched her forehead. "You don't gotta be embarrassed. You're cute as fuck." It took all my self-control not to smirk while I said a thing I probably shouldn't have: "Susie'd totally agree with me if she was here." Kiki squeaked and hid her face one more time, and I couldn't help laughing. "She would! She'd be like 'Aww, poor Kiran. It's okay, my powers of butch emo-ness will take care of you and your hiccups.'" She would absolutely not be like that, she wouldn't even be able to say the word, but I couldn't share that part yet.

After a second, Kiki pulled her face out of my tits and gave me a weird look. "Um...*HMK* Maya, is it o–*HOUK*–k-kay if I ask y–*HOOP*–o-oou a question? *HMK-MMP!*" I shrugged. "You...*HULP* You know that I ha–*UCK* have a crush on Su–*HOOK* Susan, right?"

I stared down at her and let her free when she started squirming. "I mean...duh? Everyone knows that. And she's definitely into you too."

Kiki laughed way too loud and fake at that, and I could tell she didn't believe me. Fuck, why was Liv the only girl I'd ever met who knew how hot she was? "I, um...*HMP* I don't know ab–*HOUK* about that." There was a shriek from outside and I jumped and Kiki let out a huge "*HIULK!*" I couldn't help it, I cackled at that, and I was glad that a second or two later, she giggled too. "The...the wo–*HUP* woman out there is go–*HOOK* good at her job. *MMK*."

"Man, maybe I should try and get hired here next year. I'd love to get paid to do this shit."

"You'd be–*HEEK* so good at *ICCUP* that!" Kiki smiled and flapped her hands, and I thought I'd gotten her to actually forget her hiccups for a second. A moment later, though, she shrunk in on herself again. "B-but what I w–*UCK* was saying was...um–*HUMK* if you know that I'm at–*HUP* attracted to Su–*HOOK*–usan, then why a–*URK* are you dating me?"

I blinked. "Uh...kinda thought we'd been over this. Like, I'll mess around with just about everyone, especially a cutie like you."

"I-I underst–*UP*–stand that! A-and I a–*ULK*–also know that Su–*HOOK*–san is in a sort of re–*HEEK* relationshi–*HIP* with you and a–*ULP* also with Olivi–*UCK* and it's sort of co–*HMMP*–plicated and..."

"Slow it down, babe, you're going in circles." I rubbed her back and felt her jolt into my hand as she took a few deep breaths between her hiccups. "Yeah, Susie and Liv and I are all poly in our own ways. And Susie likes you. And I like you too. Dunno if Liv is into you like that, but she definitely doesn't not like you. So I'm not sure what the issue is here."

Kiki sighed and stared down at her lap while she knelt on the ground next to me. "I...I don't *HUP* quite know myself. *HMK!* It just..." She hiccuped a few times, but I couldn't let myself enjoy staring at her as much as I wanted to. The look on her face was still weirdly serious. "It just se–*HEEK* seems hard to bel–*HIEVE*–Hmk-khff–*MMK!* E-excuse me. *HMP*. It's hard to be–*HEEP* believe that I'd ge–*HUP* get this lu–*HUCK*–ky. To be born int---to money. To have the e–*up* educational opportun–*ic*–ties that I've had. And then to ha–*uck* have two incredibly strong, handsome, pretty," she started flapping again, "f-funny, bold, cool girls h---have a crush on me? It just..." She sighed. "It doesn't make sense. *hmp*. Nobody's that lucky."

"Kiki..." I stared up at her and kept rubbing her back, then knelt up tall so I could pull her into a hug and have her head on my shoulder. She was a little surprised, but she still wrapped her arms around me, and she was so soft and fat that she couldn't help but be a good hugger. Plus, I got to feel a few little hiccups still rocking through her body. After a bit, I pulled back and adjusted my glasses (no contacts, ever, not even for a werewolf costume. Fuck it, werewolves can have glasses too) so I could look at her face. She avoided my eyes, but only in a normal Kiki way. "I mean, you're the math nerd, so you know more about probabilities and shit than my dumb ass, so let's go with what you say. Sure, nobody gets that lucky. And neither did you." I poked her nose again. "You didn't get lucky. You got pretty and smart and sweet and cute and nerdy, and that made people like you. That's not luck. That's just people seeing the shit that's obviously right in front of them." Her whole face went so red and she buried it in my chest again, whimpering out a few more hiccups. I laughed. "See? This is the kind of shit you do that totally proves my point! That's cute as fuck, Kiki!" I tilted her face up at me again. "That's cute as fuck. And so is drawing a weirdly accurate map of the maze in your notebook. And so is looking all nervous and happy all at once in your slutty nurse costume." She hid her face again with that, but I let her get away with it. "And so is getting so spooked that you catch the hiccups. Think they're all better now though."

She nodded into my boobs, then pulled back further, and I sat back on my heels so she was taller than me again. "Th-they are. I think. Maybe. B-but it's strange." Her lips pursed in a cute little thinking face. "Ever since the start of the school year, I've been catching the hiccups much more frequently than I used to. I-I'm assuming that it might have something to do with HRT, erm, hormone replacement therapy because I started that at the same time, and it makes more sense that it might be a cause than just a change in environment, but I've never actually heard that...um...M-Maya, why are you smiling like that?"

I realized that I was grinning like a fucking maniac. Which was so not my fault! Kiki was getting the hiccups more often as soon as she came here? Christ, it was fucking fate! Liv and Susie may have been soulmates, but these two were totally meant for each other too! Susie you lucky fucking bitch, why aren't you on this date too?

Buuuuuuut I wasn't actually allowed to say any of that. So instead I just laughed. "'Cause that's cute as fuck too, Kiki! And it means I get to tease you about it!" Her face went red and she stammered, but I knelt up again so I was tall enough to throw an arm over her shoulder, pulling her in close enough that I could give her a noogie. "Adorable little nerd with a case of the hiccups...fuck, how am I supposed to not smooch you?" I snapped a few kisses to her cheeks and she giggled and squirmed in my grip. And hearing and seeing her laugh just made my whole fucking week.

Once her giggles had calmed down, she wiggled away from me again and stood up. "W-well, um...if you think it's cute, that's good, because I...I feel like they're not quite...gone? I think they might start up if I get frightened again."

"Well, since you're so fucking cute with them, sounds like even more reasons to keep going deeper into the corn then, huh?" 

After a moment, she nodded, then wrapped her arms around my shoulders again, writing in her little notebook and burying her face in my hair. "Lead the way please, Maya."

"With fuckin' pleasure, Kiki!"

I took Kiki back out of the corn and thanked Samanda or whoever the hell the ring girl was (and I also had Kiki give me a piece of her notebook paper to give her my number), and then we kept going through the maze. She was right, the next time she got spooked she started hiccuping all over again, but this time she just kept her face in my hair, squeaking and squealing and hiccuping, bouncing more and more every time we got scared. Even if she weren't muffling herself, she probably wasn't louder than me since I screamed every goddamn time. But even with her bouncing and shaking all over the place (which was kinda doing something for me the way her belly and new tits kept pushing into my back), I noticed her giggling after the scares along with me. Good girl.

Fuck, how were the girls around me all so fucking cute?

When we got to the end, Kiki was a worn-out, hiccupy, giggly mess, so I took her to the car to calm down. I couldn't talk, though. Almost literally. I'd screamed my ass off in there, and my throat was kinda fucked. "Hey, lookit you, all smilin' and shit. You have fun, Kiki?" She was hiccuping so fast that speaking would definitely be a pain in the ass, so she just nodded at me through the rearview. "Good! Good. But you did a lot more walking than you usually do, I bet." She slowly frowned and nodded. Fuck, made her sad. Fixing that immediately. "A lot more bouncing and hiccuping too." That got her to blush instead of looking sad. Better. "So you probably wanna head back home, huh?" She nodded again. "Works for me. I'll hit some of the parties once I put your hiccupy ass to bed. Don't think either of us will be doing much talking on the way back, though, so how about some more Sue-approved music?" The concerned look that got out of her made me snort. "Don't worry, this time I'll play something normal humans like too. Bitch isn't too good for Queen."

The drive back to college was pretty chill. Kiki was hic-hic-hiccuping away in the back, and I really wished Susie'd come with us so I could have chucked her back there too, but she was also bobbing her head curiously along with Queen. Cute. And I got to put most of my focus on the road like I was actually supposed to do.

It ended up being a really good thing I did that because we weren't far from the college when I saw something that made me hit the brakes. "What the..." Kiki looked worried when I said that, but I pulled into reverse, moving backward on the street, slipping into a fake parallel park, and rolling down the window. "Hey! Hey, Liv! That better not be you!"

The chick on the sidewalk dressed like a mad scientist stopped and looked at my car, and it was definitely fuckin' Liv. She confirmed that by walking over and hiccuping at me, followed by a short dude in a rubber Frankenstein mask. "I'm not Li–*IC*–iv, I'm Victor Frankenst---stein. Meet my son Adam. *hup* He killed my wife."

"Bullshit! Uh—" I looked at the rubber mask that stared back at me. "Bull...crap I mean. What are you doing? You said you never go out on Halloween!"

"No, I said I'd ne–*up* never be avail–*ic*–able. Different things. *hmk* Hi Kiran." Kiki was super flushed and flustered looking and had her hands over her mouth, keeping her hiccups almost totally quiet (kinda impressive, with how loud they were for most of the ride). Liv waved at her and she pulled one hand away to rapidly wave back. "I don't want to go *hup* to parties or haunted pla–*uck*–aces, I want to go trick-or-tre–*heek*–eating."

"Bro, you should have fuckin' said that! I'd totally go with—" I realized I'd just sworn again and bit my tongue. "...okay, yeah actually, I can see why I'm not invited. Anyway, who's the runt? Little cousin or something?"

Liv smiled widely. "My secret weapon. The re–*heek* reason I can still do this."

"Wait a minute..." I reached out and grabbed Frank's rubber face. His hands immediately went up to grab at my wrist, but I was still able to yank the head off, and underneath was Susie, her face bright red and her hair a staticky mess. "HAH!" She grabbed the mask back, but it was too late. I'd seen. And from the way she sat up, I knew Kiki'd seen too. "So this is why you wouldn't come with us, huh? Scamming for candy?"

"We started doing thi–*ic* this back in high school." Liv's face was flat again, but she sounded happy as fuck, and I would be too. "If Susanna's going to stay *hmk* this short, no reason not to get some use out of it."

"You say that like I have a fucking choice." Her voice sounded so stupid inside of that mask.

I was just barely keeping myself from completely laughing my ass off. "Haah...hhaaah. Okay, I get why you were busy now. Liv's not gonna let you have the night off, is she?"

"It's not like she does–*nnk* doesn't get half the candy." Liv shrugged.

"Fuckin' amazing." I sighed. But hey, since I had everyone here... "I think you still missed out though. I'd totally give up candy to get to see Kiki all scared and hiccupy like I did tonight."

Kiki yelped, then hiccuped completely out loud for the first time since I'd parked here, and I grinned. I grinned more at how I could feel Susie glaring at me even through her frankenface. "Oh, you have the hi–*ic*–ccups too. I thought you might." Liv poked her head in. "I've ha–*hup* had mine on and off *ulp* all day. Did you ca–*hup* catch yours at the corn maze?" Kiki nodded and hiccuped out a tiny "sorry". "I don't know wha–*hup* what you're apologizing for." Liv shrugged. "Anyway. *hmk* Adam and I have more houses to hi–*ic* hit. This gave me a nice longer brea–*uck* break from having to stifle th---though. Can't look dru–*hup* drunk while I'm trick or tre–*eat*–ing. So thanks for that. Bye, Maya. *hmk* Bye, Kiran."

"Later, doc!" I let myself laugh harder now, even though it hurt my throat.

Liv started walking away, but Susie actually held back, and after a second she moved over and knocked on the back window. Kiki glanced at me and I shrugged, so she rolled it down, hand over her mouth and still looking way too embarrassed. "Hey." Susie's low, muffled voice came out through the rubber. "I'll give you five dollars if you hiccup again."

Aww, she wasn't weird about saying the word this time. Damn. And the mask was totally hiding her super blushy face. Double damn. Kiki was just confused as she stared out at her. "I...what? S-Susan, that's...kind of you? But I absolutely don't need any monetary help, I..." She paused and moved her hand down to her chest. "I...oh! I-I think they're gone!"

"Good, 'cause I don't actually have five dollars. Later, Kiran." That was all Susie said before she walked off after Liv. Dammit, she managed to pull off looking kinda cool while dressed like fucking Frankenstien. That bitch had no idea what kind of rizz she was lugging around. Heartbreaking. 

"Huh." Rizz or not, I smiled back at Kiki. "Well ain't she chivalrous! Gettin' candy for a ladyfriend and saving you from those dastardly hiccups!"

"I...have no idea how that worked." Kiki was still sort of touching her chest, and I wondered if she knew how fucking cute she looked.

"How come you were trying to hide it? Just feelin' shy?"

"Um, probably yes, but..." she looked down and pushed her hands into her lap. "I was more concerned that Olivia would think that I was, um...mocking her?"

"...babe, definitely nobody thinks that. And if she did think that, she'd ask, and then she'd listen to you when you said no."

"Why has Susan never used that trick on Olivia? It was...shockingly effective on me."

I pulled the car back into drive and headed off again. "Nothin' cures Liv. And Susie knows that. Liv's been like this forever, so she's heard 'em all." After a moment, I snorted. "Well, one thing kinda cures her, but it ain't that." I saw Kiki tilt her head in the back. "Nah, can't get into specifics. You'll probably find out sometime though."

"I see." Kiki rubbed her chest again. "Having the hiccups is more physically tiring than I realized. I suppose it makes sense that Olivia has as much endurance as she does."

"Yeah, Liv's a tough bitch. There's a reason she's a first-stringer on the team, and it ain't just for her fast, long-ass legs." What was left of the ride was still pretty chill, and I pulled up next to Kiki's house after just a few minutes. "And welcome home, Nurse Hottie. You want me to walk you in?"

Kiki shook her head and got out, but she still hovered next to the window. "No. But...thank you so much, Maya. I really really had fun."

I grinned. "Good! You deserve to, Keeks!"

Hearing her giggle made me so fucking happy. She didn't start walking to her door right away, though, rocking back and forth on her feet instead. "Um, Maya? I...I don't want to assume anything, and—and you can say no if you want to! I-I'm not sure I should even ask, but I was, um, I just—"

"Hon, spit it out, I won't be offe—"

"Maya, can I please kiss you?!"

God damn. Kiki's face was so fucking red after she yelled that. I wondered if mine was too. I was pale as fuck, so I blushed pretty easy. My jaw had definitely dropped either way, but it only took a second for me to start smiling instead of gawking. "Fuck yeah, you can kiss me, Kiki! Go for it!"

She closed her eyes, opened them again, closed them, opened them, wriggled, flapped her hands, bent down, got up, bent down, and I was starting to think that I might have to give up on this when she suddenly grabbed my face with both hands and smooched me. Her lips were all fishy and weird. She was gripping my face too hard. And she pulled back after barely a second, leaving me kinda spitty. "Ah! A-ah..." her hands were flapping again. "I-I'm sorry, I should have—*HIC!*" My jaw definitely dropped again. Kiki's did too, but only for a second before she covered her mouth with her fists. "*HICCUP!*"

I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing. I made sure I grabbed her hand so she wouldn't get away, though. "Kiki, you're so goddamn cute, what the fuck!" I forced it out between my laughs, then got up out of the car so I could hug her. She whined and hid her face in my shoulder, and I stood on my toes to make that easier for her. I rubbed and patted her back and she hiccuped against me. "You're so fucking cute. Scared yourself into the hiccups again just 'cause you kissed a hot girl." I couldn't help but sigh like a fucking doofus. "...hey." I dropped back down and looked up at her, making sure I was still smiling. "Maybe getting kissed by a cute girl'll get rid of 'em. Wanna try it?" After a few hiccups, she nodded quickly, and I held her face and pulled her into another kiss. I'd gotten pretty good at kissing people with the hiccups over the past year, so I was able to keep her head mostly in place with just a hand on her cheek. When I pulled back, she was still hiccuping, but she actually looked me in the eyes for a split second without looking scared by it. "Awww. Still got 'em. Wanna try again?"

After a few long moments, Kiki shook her head. "N-no. *HEEK* N-not because I di–*IC* didn't like it! I just–*HEEKUP!* Ah!"

"I getcha. Just had enough for one night?" She pulled in on herself and nodded. "Alright. You did great, Keeks. Get some good rest. See you tomorrow?" She nodded again and smiled at me. She wasn't good at smiling on purpose, but I could still tell she meant it.

I still had parties ahead of me that night, but even if every single one of them was complete ass, it'd still probably be the best Halloween ever.

...

Disloyal Ho: Hey Keeks! Its Maya!

Kiran (Kiki): (Thank you for making that clear)

Disloyal Ho: (np) I was thinkin about butch seducing and I got a great idea

Kiran (Kiki): Oh? What is it?

Disloyal Ho: I totes hear the exclamation point that thosed actually have next to em if you said em out loud. But anyway I got two questions for you now 1. Do you remember our halloween date last month? And 2. How do you feel about scary movies? Cause I think youll like em a lot better after this.

[rjalker]

I want a werewolf story but the person wears glasses and still needs them when transformed but their face changes shape so drastically there's literally nothing they can do short of buying another pair of glasses, taking the lenses out, and trying to jury-rig a set of goggles that will A)fit them correctly in their transformed state B)not fall off C)actually let them see D)not get destroyed when they transform back

And that's not even getting into the fact that their normal glasses probably wouldn't even work because their eyes have changed structure and would probably need whole new lenses.

if they can't figure out how to do this or just straight up don't have the money to buy an extra pair of glasses they're just. fucking incapable of doing jack shit while transformed because they can't see anything clearly even if it's pressed against the end of their new muzzle.

This would get even worse if being transformed affects what colors they can see in any way, because now not only can't they see things, they can't even rely on memory to recognize things until they get used to the new gradient of grey to yellow to blue.

No magic exists that fixes this. No it does not magically get fixed after they transform enough times or any other magical related stuff.

They either have to get werewolf-accessible glasses or goggles, or not be able to see. Those are the only two options. And no, sense of smell and hearing do not somehow magically compensate for their inability to see. That's not how this works.

Anyways yes I did combine my visually impaired flags and the all-inclusive werewolf flag.

Here you go:

[ID: Three flags.

The first has nine horizontal stripes, combining the visually impaired flag, and a werewolf flag. The stripes are, in order from top to bottom: Light purple, dark purple, black, grey-blue, white, grey-purple, black, light brown, and dark brown.

The second flag is the all-inclusive werewolf flag, with stripes of light purple, dark purple, light brown, and dark brown.

The last flag is the visually impaired flag, with stripes of black, grey-blue, white, grey-purple, and black.

End ID.]

[sheacouleecametoslay]

All Stars 3 (2018)

So the first 4 episodes, plus the returnee episode, were fun. But episodes 5 and 7 had lame challenges and the story felt boring. And then the finale is a complete and utter trainwreck. Seriously, the finale has a 4.3/10 on IMDB, which is the second-lowest rated finale after AS4 (that'll be fun to review soon). Why? Because the producers decided to have the 6 eliminated queens vote on who the final two would be. The two finalists would then face off in a lip sync for the crown. It was an awful twist, made even worse by the jury basing their votes on who needed it the most; thereby rewarding the underrated queens and punishing the front runner. I'm sorry, but I don't agree with that reasoning at all. This isn't Survivor or Big Brother. This is a show meant to reward performances. Yeah, I was in favour of the all stars format during AS2, it's a very juicy twist, and I do think the eliminations are more interesting in AS3, but it shouldn't be extended into the finale. Kennedy had more jury points than Trixie too! And the cast wasn't told they needed to manage a jury either. Those group interviews with the jury looked so intimating lol. I can accept the Lip Sync For The Crown format of Seasons 9 and beyond, but the jury twist doesn't sit right with me. Also, the Handmaid's Tale references went way over my head. At the end of each episode, Chad Michaels and Alaska creepily stood behind every eliminated queen in red cloaks. Just why??? The cast is the main thing that saves this season from bottom tier. While the cast isn't as iconic as AS2, many of my favourites are back including Shangela, Ben, Chi Chi and BeBe. Meanwhile, some others grew on me considerably - namely Morgan, Aja and Kennedy. The challenges were a mixed bag though, and this feels like one of the more "rigged" seasons. The Ball had one of the worst concepts (the soup cans), and the "My Best Squirrelfriend's Dragmaids Wedding Trip" skit felt like an afterthought. The Bitchelor was kinda cringe too. And I was disappointed that the Rusical used RuPaul songs instead of incorporating songs from the respective artists. But I guess they didn't want to pay for the licensing. On the flip side, most of the queens did well in the Talent Show. And "Kitty Girl" is one of the best Ru-mixes. I liked that they filmed the whole thing in one take. Otherwise, there was a couple of great runway themes - the Ru-demption and the wigs on wigs on wigs. Much like AS2, the returnee revenge episode was a high point of the season. It included a long segment where the eliminated queens each had their moment to confront those who eliminated them - Shangela vs Thorgy, Morgan vs Ben, Milk vs Kennedy, Aja vs Bebe - and it's probably the best drama of the season. The other memorable drama moment came from a note Thorgy left behind. Otherwise, Ben's self-elimination is one of the most shocking moments in the show's herstory.   Just like AS2, the runtime flips back and forth between 42 minutes and 60 minutes (without ads). It's the first All-Stars season to air on VH1 as well. And the finale is the last 42- episode until... the one that just aired two days I believe.

Queens Ranking: 10. Milk Milk received a non-stop "delusional edit" in AS3. She was smug, arrogant, egotistical, and always smirking. Did her post-Season 6 fame get to her head? Or was she was playing it up for the cameras? Milk thought she was amazing in every challenge, and had a breakdown when she was "safe" because she wanted the judges to praise her. Then in her boot episode, she disagreed with Shangela thinking Milk would be in the bottom. She said "Ben you're still alive?" and "grandma sit down" (about BeBe) in this disrespectful tone. She thought her song would be a bigger hit than "Supermodel". She claimed Celine Dion's event planner loved her Celine impression. She pissed off Kennedy by preferring Thorgy's drag - and Kennedy felt like this wasn't the Milk she knew outside the show. She had that Myspace stalking story. She called her elimination "bogus" in her mirror message. And she later blamed others for not telling her she was a "douchebag". She wasn't fond of Shangela's antics in the Rusical rehearsal either, and acted childishly in response (ie. opening a fan in her face and saying "shush Valentina"). In the competition: I disliked all 3 of Milk's performances. The Velcro bit in the talent show was dumb. Singing into a shoe and wearing a peanut butter jar necklace didn't emulate Celine Dion. And her stalker character in the Bitchelor was too real; and she bulldozed Trixie in that challenge. I didn't like her wig runway either. 9. Thorgy Thor Thorgy was so bitter and spiteful this season. I can understand feeling cynical after the riggory, but it got annoying. She spent all of episode 2 openly talking about production sabotaging her. She asked Todrick to put her in the background of other people's solos. And she said Stevie Nicks isn't a gay icon to the judges. I've also heard that Thorgy wasn't given the props she asked for, despite other queens clearly using props. But aside from that, Thorgy kept bringing up Bob (Chi Chi was right - Bob isn't here). She kept rolling her eyes in confessional - at everyone doing the same talent show performance, at Ben getting emotional about eliminations, at Shangela's response. She said BeBe needs to "shut up" with her introductions. She accused Shangela of having a secret deal with Kennedy. She trashed Ben after she self-eliminated. She was put off by BeBe's jury speech. It's like Thorgy just hated everybody and everything. I was not expecting a dick drawing in her mirror message either. In the competition: Thorgy impressed with her violin playing in the Talent Show. But she was infamously given a bad role for the Rusical (as Stevie Nicks), which only had one joke (the dizzy one), and she didn't even sell it. 8. Trixie Mattel Even Trixie looked shocked when Morgan announced the top 2. She only won because of Ben's self-elimination and the jury disliking Shangela. She tried so hard to make funny confessionals, but they were too forced, self-aware, and dry. It felt like she was telling dad jokes all season. Also, her excuses for posting Thorgy's note on the wall made no sense - why post it if you don't want Shangela to see it? She thought Thorgy should be blamed instead, and she seemed annoyed about the whole conversation. Her relationship with Shangela improved afterwards though, with them saving each other. Anyways, Trixie came in believing that she did lousy on Season 7, and she continued to struggle for the first half of AS3. I don't get why everyone was expecting her to be top 2 for the Bitchelor, but whatever. She reached a mental low point after bombing the Snatch Game, and then went on to win two challenges afterwards. Which were the two worst challenges of the season. Otherwise, Trixie didn't hold back from criticizing BeBe and Kennedy to the jury. She had this segment about being standoffish and Morgan calling her "grand". And she gave attitude during recording. In the competition: Trixie's talent show country song was boring. Her RuPaul in Snatch Game was so stiff and cringe... with all those awkward catchphrases interjections. And I didn't find Trixie's math character or the "fake bitch" in the Bitcherlor funny. She had the most memorable soup can though. Plus the book outfit and the rollerblade entrance were cute. And I'll admit she had the second best "Kitty Girl" verse. But she was only top 2 in bad challenges. 7. Chi Chi DeVayne (R.I.P.) I still love Chi Chi, but her AS3 run was disappointing. She promised her drag was together this time, but was still read for her looks. Chi Chi also felt like she wasn't on the same level as the other queens and that she came back at the wrong time. It was sad to see her in her head like that. She accepted defeat by the episode 3 deliberation and basically told Ben to send her home; but Kennedy had other priorities. I'm glad she wasn't dragged as far as Roxxxy Andrews though. When the eliminated queens returned, Chi Chi was the only one to not be bitter about it. She also told the top 2 to not bring her back. But at least we got to see Chi Chi be brutally honest again - like calling out Milk's Talent Show performance - and see her smiling in confessional again. Lol at her spelling "Mya Angelou" wrong. In the competition: Chi Chi was read for her shoes and wig in the Talent Show, but apparently she dropped her baton as well. She was in the bottom for the Rusical for her runway as well. And then it felt like she was mentally checked out during the Bitchelor and the Snatch Game. The wig runway was good though. 6. BeBe Zahara Benet I'm fine with BeBe getting a second chance, since winning Season 1 isn't as prestigious. But despite the intimidating entrance quote ("Mother, another day, another slay. Who's first?"), BeBe fell under-the-radar for the first 4 episodes. And then she got the "lack of self-awareness" edit for the other 4 episodes. She eliminated Aja after Aja helped make her outfit; even getting emotional when revealing the lipstick. And when confronted about it next episode, she made an excuse about not talking much on the runway. BeBe also wouldn't let Aja plead her case during deliberation because she went on a rant praising Aja. Otherwise, BeBe thought the eliminated queens would be their dancers (lol). She was scared of heights during choreo. She refused to reveal her second lipstick choice, even refusing to the tell jury later on. She didn't understand why she was given the queen role, and thought her negative critiques were soft. And she didn't know who Ornacia was. Ben called BeBe "poised and regal", while Shangela called her "boogie". BeBe does have this fabulous aura. She was also shy around sex talk (lol at that description of Thorgy's penis drawing). But yeah, BeBe knew the jury wasn't going to give her a second win. In the competition: BeBe showed her Cameroonian culture via reveals in the Talent Show. Her whacky Grace Jones in Snatch Game and "Rrrrra-ka-ta-ti-ti-ta-ta" in the girl groups were highlights too. And lol at her wanting to do "achoo" soup. But on the flip side, BeBe's bashful virgin in the Bitchelor was whatever. Her queen character in the wedding skit fell flat. And she struggled with the lifts in "Kitty Girl". I liked most of her runways though, aside from her final 4 outfit. 5. Morgan McMichaels Morgan knew that she wasn't a fan favourite, so she didn't care about fan perception at all. I can get behind a villain like that. I enjoyed Morgan more in AS3 than Season 2, actually. She had this ruthless way of talking. She straight-up told the Werk Room she was going to eliminate the strongest competitors, which is ballsy. She didn't want to be fake about it, but it wasn't the wisest thing to say. In the revenge episode, Morgan confronted Ben about not sticking to her policy, even calling Ben a "coward" and a "hypocrite". I mean, Morgan wasn't wrong. Ben was punishing her for not "playing by the rules". Morgan later made up with Ben, admitting she was too confrontational, and then Ben selected her to return. Despite Morgan disliking Ben's quit in confessional. It ended up being a pointless return though. Trixie and Shangela displayed sympathy with the returnee curse thing, but not enough to save her. "I look pretty good for a dead bitch" was a good entrance line though. In the competition: I didn't think Morgan was bottom 2-worthy in the talent show. The quacking swan on the other hand... yeah. Morgan even gave herself that role! Her kilt runway (with the crotch flashing) was fun though. 4. Aja Aja grew on me this season as well. She was under pressure in Season 9, but was much more easygoing in AS3. It reminded me of Detox's growth in AS2. She was having fun in confessionals. She seemed chill when she returned as an eliminated queen - well other than calling out BeBe for not giving Aja credit on stage for the outfit. The show tried to make it look like Aja was becoming overconfident with her Ball look (insert Kennedy confessional saying just that and Trixie calling her soup idea "crazy"), but I didn't understand that bottom 2 placement at all. Even Trixie called it the most beautiful outfit. Aja was doing so well before that challenge too. Her elimination reeks of riggory. She should've returned instead of Morgan. Otherwise, Aja lead the jury interrogation by asking bigger picture questions. In the competition: Aja had Ru gagging with that death drop stunt in talent show. Her Amy Winehouse in the Rusical and her Crystal Labeija in Snatch Game were highlights as well. She held her own in the "Anaconda" lip sync too. And I liked her anime wig runway and the princess redo. But Aja was annoyingly whiny in the Bitchelor. And she was read for her soup can not representing her brand... ehh whatever, her outfit was one of the best that week. Also, Aja's girl group verse was fire and should've been what brought her back to the game. 3. BenDeLaCreme The most dominant track record in Drag Race herstory. Ben had a hard time eliminating queens, and she had to do it nearly every week! There was so many confessionals from the other queens not having patience for Ben's turmoil though. They felt like Ben was concerned about maintaining a congenial image. And Kennedy pointed out that Ben plays to win and then complains about the responsibility. Ben even came up with a formula at one point so she couldn't be blamed for eliminations. She wanted to win with "kindness and integrity". She said she stole Trixie's win. She suggested repeating the AS2 group consensus, which others weren't into. She was relieved to finally lose a challenge. While in episode 6, after Morgan called her out for not following her own policy, Ben wasn't here for the drama. I guess she brought Morgan back out of guilt. Then, Ben had reasons to keep all 3 queens in the bottom, so she fell on her sword and eliminated herself instead. Which is the most congenial thing she could've done. Ben was taking the eliminations too seriously, but her storyline was interesting to watch. In the competition: I agree with all 5 of Ben's top 2 placements. The tassel bit in the Talent Show was funny (as was her "Anaconda" lip sync afterwards). Her Julie Andrews in the Rusical stood out with the microphone bit. And then she imitated Shangela in the "Jump" lip sync lol. She had the banana bit in the Bitchelor. Her Paul Lynde in Snatch Game was as good as Maggie Smith. And she sold the goth verse in the girl groups. It felt like she was throwing the challenge in episode 5 though (the soup cans). My fave runways of hers were the flower and the jewels redo. 2. Kennedy Davenport Kennedy grew on me the most from this cast. AS3 made me appreciate her lack of filter. She's just so unpleased by everything and always gives her opinion, but she's less mean-spirited this time. For example: interjecting to say "no we should look at the whole picture", disliking Thorgy's dick drawing, getting offended by Milk calling Thorgy's drag more exciting than hers, refusing to do one-on-ones, taking Shangela's side in note-gate, calling the return twist a "crock of s**t", giving Milk like 4 different reasons why she eliminated her, making Milk cry by calling her ingenuine and self-centered, and saying it's "BS" for the jury to feel animosity. Also lol at her pronouncing meme as "mimi". I guess Kennedy wanted Ru-demption for her Season 7 perception. She wasn't a popular queen, and that seems to be why the jury voted her into the top 2. She needed the recognition the most. And Thorgy felt that her answers came off sincere. But Kennedy had the worst track record of the final 4 . In the competition: Kennedy landed on the box in the Talent Show, and she was the funniest in the Bitchelor. But she was either middling or struggling in the other challenges. She missed the words in the Rusical. While her lyrics in both the girls group and "Kitty Girl" were kinda basic. But I liked Kennedy's finale lip sync more than Trixie's. I didn't care that she gave another rainbow dress at the finale, it looked great. That entrance look with all the shimmering coins was... something though. 1. Shangela AS3 solidified Shangela as one of my all-time faves. She improves each season. She's an amazing confessionalist. She's charming in how she aims to impress. And she hustled for this win that was stolen from her. Maybe her jury answer wasn't what they wanted - she mainly talked about how much work she put in. She eliminated half the jury too. And I guess her diva attitude in the Rusical rehearsal was indicative. But she killed it in the challenges. And I actually thought she handled situations tactfully? Like the Thorgy note debacle. She also encouraged Ben to smooth things over with Morgan. Lol at her saying she won't overtalk Thorgy and Thorgy not getting a chance to respond though. Anyways, the All-Stars format was perfect for Shangela's strategic mindset, since she was already doing that in Season 3. She kept whoever she could trust to save her in a later episode. That's why she eliminated Thorgy and built an alliance with Trixie. She thought Ben and BeBe were being strategic in their own ways too. And she gave so many Games of Thrones references. In the competition: Shangela's Talent Show performance was fierce and gave variety. She killed it as Mariah Carey in the Rusical. She was confident as Jenifer Lewis in Snatch Game. She was the only one in the wedding skit that made me laugh ("she did that"). She had the best "Kitty Girl" verse. And she had fun lip sync gimmicks - the jump rope, the notebook, the fat suit and sunglasses. Her cornstalk/popcorn runway was one of my faves too. But no surprise Shangela flopped the design challenge - those discs were horrible. The pregnant flower and the red spike runways were OTT as well. And her girl group verse was a little basic. Favourite entrance look: BeBe Zahara Benet Challenge ranking: 1. "Kitty Girl" Ru-mix (Shangela >>>> Trixie > BeBe > Kennedy) 2. Talent Show 3. Girl Group battle 4. Snatch Game 5. VH1 Divas Rusical 6. The Bitchelor (Improv) 7. Andy Warhol Ball 8. "My Best Squirrelfriend's Dragmaids Wedding Trip" (Acting) Lip Sync ranking: 1. Aja vs BenDeLaCreme ("Anaconda") 2. BenDeLaCreme vs Shangela ("Jump (For My Love)") 3. Shangela vs Trixie Mattel ("Freaky Money") 4. BenDeLaCreme vs Shangela ("I Kissed A Girl") 5. Kennedy Davenport vs Trixie Mattel ("Wrecking Ball") (Kennedy should've won this lip sync) 6. BeBe Zahara Benet vs Trixie Mattel ("The Boss") 7. BeBe Zahara Benet vs BenDeLaCreme ("Nobody's Supposed To Be Here") 8. BenDeLaCreme vs Kennedy Davenport ("Green Light") (borrrrring; the song doesn't really work as a lip sync) The top 4 lip syncs are all very memorable and funny. Season ranking so far: 9 > 5 > 6 > AS2 > 4 > 2 > 7 > AS3 > 3 > 8 > 1 > AS1

[iam93percentstardust]

Prompt: tony can’t get enough of Steve’s strength and Steve loves it bc he’s still quite self conscious of his body? 💚

I realized halfway through writing this that you probably meant for a canon-compliant fic, but I was already so deep into the worldbuilding for this little science fiction fic (seriously, you don't even know how much unnecessary worldbuilding I did) so I kept with it

Also on ao3 here!

~

“Steve!” Tony hollers through the communicator. Steve glances up from the board game he’s playing with Natasha and Clint and over at where the communicator hangs from the ship’s wall. He still doesn’t really understand the technology behind the communicators even after a year of being awake, but they’re hung all over the Avenger’s Shieldand he won’t deny that they’re useful.

“I’m here,” he says at a normal volume, knowing that JARVIS will easily pick up what he’s saying and transmit it to Tony. Tony’s just being loud because he’s always loud and because he’s down in the engine room of the ship with all its noises from the conversion of stardust into energy.

“Great! I need your muscley goodness down here like yesterday.”

Steve hides a smile and stands, passing his pieces off to Clint, who’s losing worse than either Steve or Natasha. “Here, you can have mine. Not sure how long I’ll be down there.”

Clint’s eyes narrow and Steve tries not to fidget under the cybernetic enhancements. When he went into the ice nearly three hundred years ago, mankind didn’t even dream of space travel, at least not realistic space travel, and now they’ve got colonies on galaxies as far away from their own, it makes his head spin. Humans have peace treaties with over two thousand alien civilizations. And mechanical body enhancements, meant to augment humans for travel and work and sometimes sheer entertainment, are as common as breathing. But Steve, with his serum-induced enhancements, is somehow still the odd one out.

“You know,” Clint says, “you don’t have to help him out if you don’t want to. Tony means well but that doesn’t mean he can’t be abrasive sometimes.”

“I don’t mind,” Steve says truthfully. Everyone else on this ship seems to dance around his non-cybernetic enhancements—and around the fact that he’d been frozen in the ice caps, now stretching as far south as Florida, for three hundred years—but Tony never once seemed to care. He’s thrilled about Steve’s enhancements—no one else on the ship is quite as strong as Steve is, not since Thor joined the crew of the Milano—both because of what Steve can help him with and because of what the serum means for scientific advancement, though Steve hasn’t let Bruce or Yinsen take any of his blood yet.

He heads down into the belly of the ship, pausing once at one of the portholes to look out at the stars flashing by them. It still amazes him that humans have achieved all of this (and horrifies him that they achieved this but left their own planet behind).

Tony’s “lair” (as Clint calls it) is located at the very bottom of the ship. It’s here that Tony holds his court, making sure that the engines that run the ship are still intact and running smoothly, tinkering with other projects that the other crewmembers give to him, and designing improved systems for the Shield, whether that’s comms, mechanical, or even medical. Tony does it all. According to Natasha, Tony, who’s one of the few nonhumans on the ship, was once a member of high society on his home planet, Aur’a, but left it all behind to join the Shield and travel the galaxy.

Steve opens the door and is immediately met with a wave of heat. It’s always hot down here. Tony says it’s because of the celestial energy, that stars run so hot that even residue energy is still too hot for unenhanced humans to handle. Fortunately, neither Steve nor Tony are unenhanced, and Steve would be willing to bet that the reason it’s so hot in the engine room today is because Tony is working with raw stardust.

The copper pipes running the room are too close to avoid bumping into for someone as large as Steve, so he doesn’t even bother trying to avoid them, letting them brush against his skin as he follows the sound of Tony humming. When he’d first joined the crew, he’d been worried about Tony complaining that Steve couldn’t move around the engine room without knocking something over, but Tony has never once complained, only just made easygoing jokes about bulls in china shops and told him that the pipes are built to withstand forces a lot stronger than Steve. It had gone a long way toward helping him feel comfortable in the space and now he spends a lot of time down here, talking with Tony about the mechanics of the ship, even though a lot of it goes over his head.

He ducks underneath one of the pipes and rounds a corner to find Tony sitting on a bench, carefully chipping at a speck of stardust on the benchtop in front of him. Tony once told him that it only takes a miniscule amount of stardust to power the ship for an entire week, which is good because stardust is difficult to mine. Tony’s goggles are perched on top of his nose, giving him an owlish appearance. Steve finds it adorable, but he waits until Tony is done with the chisel before walking over to drop a kiss on top of his hair.

The rest of the crew doesn’t know that they’ve been seeing each other for a month. After their first kiss, Steve had asked if it would be okay to keep it quiet a little longer. Steve’s brain is still firmly convinced at times that they’re in the forties, so the idea that he can date a man and have it be as accepted as dating a woman is still a little foreign to him. Tony had been more than accommodating though, which is only one of the reasons Steve loves him so much.

“Oh!” Tony exclaims, clearly startled. “Didn’t realize you were already here.” He turns, pushing his goggles up to his hair. “Did you get even more muscley since the last time I saw you?”

“Tony, you saw me this morning,” Steve says amusedly.

“Right you are, Capsicle, but I still stand by what I said,” Tony shoots back with a cheeky wink. He runs his hands over Steve’s biceps, making a low purring sound under his breath. Steve just barely manages to hear it over the sound of the engines, and it makes him smile.

Sometimes, he still feels self-conscious about his size. Spending most of his life looking and feeling one way only to change in only seconds had been disorienting, and he hadn’t had much of a chance to get used to his size before he’d been thrown into the war and then frozen in the ice. Tony’s always good to talk to though when he needs someone to remind him that this is okay, that he isn’t taking up too much room just by existing. Somehow, he always manages to get to the heart of Steve’s insecurities and allay them.

He indulges in Tony’s warm touch for a little longer before asking, “So what did you need me for?”

Tony perks up, spinning on his heel and picking up the speck of stardust with his bare hand. “I need your help opening the converter door so I can toss this in. Something must have gotten damaged during the battle with the Hydra’s Scales, because it’s not opening for me.”

“Huh,” Steve says, following Tony through the warren of copper pipes toward the energy converter. He has no idea how Tony knows where he’s going without a map. Steve still sometimes needs a map and he’s lived on this ship for a year. “That’s not something you can fix?”

“Not with what I’ve got on ship. I’ll ask Fury if we can stop in Knowhere later this week. They’ve probably got what I need.”

“Wow, Tony Stark admitting he can’t jury-rig a solution from his lab. Hell must have frozen over,” Steve comments, grinning when Tony turns to scowl at him.

“You shut your mouth,” Tony growls.

“Or what?”

Tony’s eyes turn dark and heated. He slinks closer to Steve, runs his fingers up Steve’s chest, and purrs, “Or I’ll shut it for you.”

Steve’s brain shuts down. “Uh…”

“But not right now,” Tony says abruptly, tweaking Steve’s nipple through his shirt. He spins back around and marches off, leaving Steve floundering in his wake. He gapes after him for a second before hurrying to catch up.

“You,” he says, carefully bumping Tony’s shoulder with his—he doesn’t want Tony to drop the stardust after all—“are a menace.”

“That’s me: mechanic and professional menace,” Tony says cheerfully.

They stop beside the energy converter. Steve can immediately see what Tony means by there being something wrong with it. The converter is made out of some sort of transparent material—Steve doesn’t know what—so he can see right in to where something is twisted in the converter itself, partially fusing the door shut. Even Tony, with all his abilities as an Aurum, can’t reach into an active energy converter without burning his hand to ashes, and the converter has to stay active or they’ll be dead in space, so they’ll have to stop somewhere where he can make the necessary repairs.

“See?” Tony says. “I need someone who can muscle that open for me.”

“Well, I’ve definitely got muscles.”

“Mmm, yes you do,” Tony murmurs. Steve wonders if Tony’s thinking about the same thing he is: that time he pinned Tony to the walls of their shared bunk and—well, now’s not the time to be thinking about that.

He grabs onto the wheel and wrenches it to the left. Tony sure hadn’t been kidding; the wheel doesn’t budge at all. He applies more of his strength, muscles bulging. Under the squeal of metal, he hears Tony’s breath catch, and he grins saucily at him. Tony sticks his tongue out and gestures at the wheel again.

“Come on, Captain Crunch. Put your back into it.”

Steve, having no idea what Captain Crunch is supposed to be a reference to, makes a mental note to ask Tony about it once they’re done here. For now, though, he uses all of his strength and slowly—so slowly—the wheel turns, protesting the entire way. Eventually, he gets it open, letting another blast of heat into the engine room. Tony tosses the stardust in. It flares in the heat of the converter, setting off beautiful gold and purple sparks. Steve closes the door. It closes a lot easier than it opened. Tony hums thoughtfully at it.

“Well, that narrows things down,” he says, once the door is fully closed.

“What, that it was easier to close than it was to open?”

“Mmhmm. Only a few things that could be. Probably need to tell the One-Eyed Pirate though that we have to stop on Xandar instead of Knowhere. I don’t think Fujikawa will have what I need. Steve, don’t let me forget to tell Fury the course change.”

“Got it.”

“And thanks, by the way. Definitely couldn’t have done it without you.”

Steve glows at the praise. Maybe it’s silly, but it’s nice to be reminded that even in this oversized, clumsy body out of time, he’s still able to do some good. “Happy to help,” he says honestly.

They head back to Tony’s little work area, Tony eagerly chattering on about the project he’s working on for Natasha. Steve listens, fingers itching for the drawing tablet he’d left in the galley with Natasha and Clint. Tony is lovely when he’s animatedly talking about his inventions. Steve has half a dozen folders saved on his tablet, filled with nothing but different poses of Tony.

Tony leans up against the workbench and pulls Steve in, looping his hands around his neck. “Now, where were we earlier?” he hums, eyes dark.

“Careful,” Steve warns, bracing himself with hands on either side of Tony’s body. “I might crush you.”

“You might,” Tony agrees, though he doesn’t sound concerned at all. “And I might like that. All that coiled strength pinning me down? Oh, honey, yes.” He shivers, a small delighted smile curling his lips up.

“You just like me for my body,” Steve accuses. It isn’t the truth and he knows that. Tony loves him for many reasons; Steve’s strength is only one of them. But it’s fun to tease his lover and Tony is always happy when he does. He frequently worries that Steve is too serious.

“Yes, darling, that’s exactly it.” Tony kisses him lightly. Steve lets himself lean into Tony’s body a little more, grinning when Tony shudders against him.

He pulls away, tucking his head against the curve of Tony’s neck. “Thank you,” he breathes. He doesn’t know how Tony always knows when Steve is feeling self-conscious about his body, but he somehow does and he always comes up with something that’ll help.

Tony strokes his hair. “Anytime, darling. Anytime.”

[artobotsrollout]

Transformers: Harbingers

The Pirate Scream AU

Before I talk about it you guys are the best thank you for indulging me and my AU from this post xjdjd. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

@badlydrawntransformers @cosmic0de @warrioroffandoms @measlyfurball13 And a bonus thank you to those encouraging me in the tags as well ❤️

I plan to do art for it as well as accompanying written bits and maybe even an animatic but till then have some general info under the cut.

Also there is transformers: Prime spoilers below so open at your own risk.

TRANSFORMERS: HARBINGERS

So this AU comes from the same place many AUs heavily involving TfP Starscream come from: the unfulfilled potential in our boy Scream. Now deeper discussion of that is not gonna be in this post. It'd be a whole essay.

It also comes from just how salty I was that the Team's kindness never really benefitted them much and they kept getting slapped for it. And OP really wanted to win over a con and Starscream kept wanting a partner. ALSO ALSO Optimus was portrayed as keeping his emotions in check and then never really gets a message that it's okay to be emotional so... I'm doing that here.

And the Starscream Pirate AU was born...

Aka Transformers: Harbingers (maybe idk if it's catchy enough djjsw)

Why Harbingers? ''It's just a SHIP Starscream chills in for awhile in the show' ' I hear you say. WELL HANG ON!! I got two very good reasons!! .

First off: Starscream, with the help of some Cybertronians who he wins over one way or another (Ill get to that), help him essentially use the remains of the Harbinger to put together their own functional ship. It's smaller than the Nemesis and will take some pirate ship inspiration. While it is a hardy beast it's a bit jury rigged.

Second of all:

Imagine being a fictional character living in a ship with a name that basically means 'Foreshadowed bringer of change' and then going back to Megatron and his bullshit. I'm gonna grab this and run all the way with it. Highway to Hell just came on my Spotify so... That may be an omen.

---------

NOW LISTEN

I feel like Starscream and Optimus could really have had such an interesting dynamic but we never really got to see that in TfP and I feel cheated. Also both could have mutually benefitted a great deal.

So what do I do? I shove them together to be sorta begrudging Co-Captains. As a result there's a lot of shenanigans to be had!

How this happens OP has some run ins with cons and, through a way I'm still deciding, has the opportunity to extend a hand to Starscream. Starscream, being kindness starved, doesn't entirely know what to do about Optimus being nice to him one whole time with no sarcasm or ulterior motive and sorta starts trying to get his attention.

Starscream and his crew are a bit of their own team at this point. MEANING sort of new LOGOS!

I'm yoinking the crossed out Decepticon logo from the Dark Energon Starscream and Dark Energon Knockout toys cause I mean... It's right there and also kinda like a skull and crossbones. It fits too well guys.

Starscream essentially manages to win over the autobots enough so they can sorta make a mutually beneficial, if strained, alliance to aid their aligned goal: killing Megatron and revitalizing cyberton. This is aided by some slight changes to the plot of course. It's also a benefit, much to Ratchet's delight, since they finally get some cybertronian tech to work with.

And so they gotta work together to take Megatron out and there's much bonding moments esp later when the autobot base is destroyed. Starscream extends his hand to them and offers them a more permanent position onboard. (rubbing in how unfortunate their situation is and how this is such a big favour but he's paying Optimus back.)

And insert team dynamic stuff!! Like cons teaming up with Bots, Starscream and Optimus trying to stick with it leading their own teams but keep accidently backseat-leadering one another. I will write some other ex-con and bot dynamics cause there's a lot of chaos to be had.

Optimus doesn't open up to his crew for morale sake and masks his emotions well, and Starscream is... well Starscream is Starscream so he masks what he truly feels a lot and doesn't share a lot of personal stuff besides complaints with his team either. So there's a lot of tension.... That is until Starscream has had it at just how good a poker face Prime has.

Because he's absolutely paranoid got a harmless curiosity about Optimus's ulterior motives and wants potential dirty secrets he can use as blackmail to have power over the Prime, he essentially puts cybertronian booze (but kid friendly version of course fbejek) in Optimus's energon heavily expecting him to spill the beans when heavily drunk. What he doesn't expect is that Optimus is just... LIKE THAT to his core. He's smart but very sad and guilty. And maybe a bit weepy and exhausted cause this man has not shown an emotion for eons now. /s. Starscream doesn't know wtf to do but swayed by how earnest Optimus is he sorta softens up and does open up. Might have helped that he took a swig of the tainted energon to get on his level though. But it also helps that neither is the others subordinate so they don't need to maintain their image as badly with the Co-captain as they do their team.

The ex cons sorta accidently absorb some of the autobot's morals over time. The cons help the autobots have some fun. There's a lot of stuff learned both ways. Also the cons realize how cool humans can be and after a lot of argument and forced time spent with the kids, they want to protect earth too.

Starscream, helps Optimus open up a bit more and allow himself to be emotional. He also shows him how to be a little selfish. Optimus in turn helps him with self confidence and making friends. Both help each other with the shit Megatron put em both through and overall boost one another up. (This also does change the start of the war a bit but I'll get to that in another post.)

Miko tries to fight all of the cons at first but quickly changes her tune cause "BOOYAH PIRATE CONS!!"

Other bits about this AU:

Starscream will eventually get a slight design change. It'll be less scrappy and look more confident and put together. It'll be minor

Because they are on a flying ship but have less energon than the Nemesis, everyone gets equipped with mods for flight. There is a jetpack upgrade one can get or Knockout can straight up help change their alt mode surgically.

I'm working up a list of who gets what flight mod but... Ya'll should know that Wheeljack dares Knockout to make him into a flying car. Largely cause I just got the image of Wheeljack flying above vehicons and just turning into a car and dropping on them. That and driving up the side of the Nemesis and confusing the fuck out of Megatron. Out of all the characters you know that would be a Wheeljack thing.

Arcee and Knockout grieve together.

Knockout loves bugging the hell out of Ratchet. It's extra fun for him cause Ratchet often can't do shit about it since they both need the room and tools.

Knockout and Wheeljack become an insufferable duo with the nicknames they have for everyone.

Wheeljack won't leave Starscream alone and keeps coming up with worse and worse nicknames like he did with Ratchet.

Starscream and Ratchet become complaining buddies.

STARSCREAM'S SEEKER SQUAD REJOINS. Well some of them. Skywarp, Thundercracker and maybe other peeps.

Miko manages to befriend Skywarp and Bulkhead now has to watch both Miko AND Skywarp. Wheeljack refuses to help Bulkhead round them up.

Raf hits it off with Thundercracker.

Knockout: "FINALLY a team with fragging MANNERS!"

Instead of Beeftimus Prime from the forge, Optimus actually gets access to a third alt mode and.. Idk something else primely. So he actually gets wings.

Starscream and the other fliers are greatly amused because Optimus, as great as he is at his poker face most of the time, hasn't yet figured out how to not emote with the pair of wings he gets from the forge. Thundercracker is the one who eventually informs him while the rest of the crew are booing loudly in the background.

I actually do have designs of TFP Skywarp, Thundercracker, and Ironhide in the works.

Fowler and Starscream have insult battles. Oddly both grow a weird almost fondness for these verbal sparring sessions

They frequently raid the Nemesis

Miko keeps talking in a pirate voice. Smokescreen has joined her.

AND A LOT OF OTHER STUFF I'LL GET INTO WITH MORE DETAIL AND ART. I'll also talk more in depth about some of these things that isn't a ramble like this post is. xnwjskw.

Feel free to ask about anything you're curious about.

[rinrinp42]

The Red Planet

For the first day of @jangobiweek, Enemies to Lovers (though it more ended up pre-relationship). It did end up longer than I expected, also there’s violence

Jango wanted to rub his temples, but he trusted Priest about as far as a Hutt could throw.  At least outside of being on contract together. He had only tracked the di’kut down because he was a good soldier.  Same with Reau.  Ward was better but also could just fade into the background to the point that it’d be hard to pinpoint what jobs he’d been on.

But then, the four of them being on this planet was Priest’s fault so honestly, it might not have been worth it.   The damn di’kut demanded they go to Ord Radama before heading to Kamino and then the solar storm hit and scrambled the nav.  And now they had crashed on this planet.

This… weird, maybe abandoned planet?  There were old building overtaken by plants and a few other old crashed ships.  Jango wasn’t even sure they were in the same system anymore.

“Hello there!” a voice cut through the cold air.

All four Mandalorians whirled to face the voice.

It was a Jetii, fresh from their kriffing temple.  His red hair was that growing out from a buzz that indicated he was recently a Padawan.

“Jetii,” Priest growled.

“I am Obi-Wan Kenobi. It would seem we all were caught in that solar storm,” the Jetti grinned at them.

Jango glowered beneath his buy’ce before taking a fortifying breath.  He was starting the process to get his revenge.

“So, it would seem,” Jango spoke.

The Jetii was silent for a moment.

“Well then, I will let you be,” he spoke then and then turned away.

Reau made a sound of disgust that Jango felt in his soul. Jetii arrogance.

They found a ship that might just have a part that could be jury-rigged to get them off the planet, but it had taken them hours.  And there was something about this abandoned planet that was making Jango’s skin crawl under his kute.  He and Priest had gone in the old ship to search the parts while Reau and Ward stayed outside to keep an eye out.

Just because they hadn’t seen anyone since the Jetii left didn’t mean that there was no one else there. Especially as they kept hearing things moving just out of sight.  Even if it was weird that they couldn’t pick up anyone on the scanners.

“I don’t think this’ll work,” Priest finally sighed, “the parts you said we’d need to connect it are missing.  Maybe if one of the other ships had something similar but…”

He was right, damnit. That was the problem with having an experimental ship, the parts were sometimes so specific that he had limited options to repair it or he needed more parts than otherwise to make it work.

“There’s the buildings we haven’t gotten to,” Jango pointed out, “we should probably look there for extra parts.  I think I say a port when we were crashing.”

No need to explain why he hadn’t aimed for the port in the first place.  Priest had also seen the plant life that had creeped violently through the buildings.  The tundra like area they ended up in was better in the lack of hidden dangers for the ground.

When they exited it was to Reau scanning the horizon.  She was carefully moved her gaze from ship to ship as if she would miss something miniscule if she went to fast.

“Reau?” Jango prompted, his own hand coming up to flick on his scanners.

“Ward’s gone,” she spoke quietly, “we were circling to keep an eye on everything and he didn’t meet back up with me.  At first I thought he had seen something and slipped off to investigate but he hasn’t shown back up.”

That… that was unsettling. Ward wasn’t someone Jango was particularly close to but he knew the other man well enough that he wouldn’t expect Ward to not check in.  And Slave I was unusual enough that there was no chance of Ward finding the right piece to get off.  Especially given that Jango had a secondary part that needed to be plugged in to leave given he didn’t actually trust any of them.

“Which side was he on?” he asked, mind already racing.

Reau nodded towards the buildings, “that side.”

Well, guess they were checking out the port then.

They were about halfway there when the Jetii showed up again.  This time he was disheveled, thrown off by something.  He paused when he spotted them, eyes raking over them.

He swore violently when he saw Ward was missing.  The type of swearing that even without knowing the Jetii Jango could tell was out of place coming from him.

“How long has your friend been gone?  Did you see him get taken?”

“What’s it to you-” Jango could hear the sneer in Priest’s voice and rolled his eyes.

Was Jango the only one that didn’t let his hatred of Jetiise cloud his mind?  Obviously, he had run into something.

“Reau, tell him,” he ordered.

She stiffened and threw a glare through her buy’ce at him but answered.

The Jetii ran a hand threw his hair.

“Listen, this planet,” he spoke, eyes scanning the area around them restlessly, “it’s filled with some sort of, I don’t know, twisted organisms?  They don’t act like normal for their species and they…”

His eyes met Jango’s through the visor.

“We weren’t the only ones to crash here due to that storm.  They consumed the others.  Turned them to be like them.  At least those that they didn’t eat.”

Jango felt a chill go down his spine.  He didn’t know why he trusted the Jetii, but he did.  It was insane, but…

“We can’t leave,” he said, “our ship broke when we were landing.”

The Jetii nodded, “mine as well.  Maybe we can cannibalize my ship for your’s?  Work together to get off of this planet?  We can part ways after that.”

Jango hesitated.  He didn’t want to work with the Jetii, even if he believed what he said.  Yet the Jetiise had new ships than what they had been seeing.

“Fine.  Lead the way.”

“So, why’s a Jetii all the way out in the Esstran System?” Reau asked, “isn’t it a bit close to the Sith Worlds for your lot?”

Of course she couldn’t help but to poke at the Jetii.  Jango really shouldn’t have expected better of her.

“It was the Sith Worlds that I came out here for,” the Jetii said, “I was trying to find information on a Sith.”

Great.  A Jetii scholar.  Probably didn’t do battle often then.

“The last mission I went on with my Master we were attacked by a Sith as we were protecting the Naboo Queen.  Given that the Sith have been gone for centuries, it raised questions.”

Priest paused at that, and Jango almost joined him.

“You mean there are dar’jetiise in the Galaxy again?” Priest demanded.

Jango wanted to know as well, a sliver of unease digging into his mind, replaying every meeting he had had with his employer.

He might despise the Jetiise for the hand they had in the destruction of the Haat Mando’ade, but the dar’jetiise had used Mando’ade, had made their culture into a puppet to be directed by them, had pushed them into much that, in retrospect, had weakened them.  Historically allies meant, in truth, used and abused by the dar’jetiise.

And Jango had a feeling he had walked into yet another trap set by them blinded as he was with a lust for vengeance.  And, a voice not unlike Jaster’s whispered in the back of his mind, look what it has already led you to do.  Who you choose to work with.

The Jet- Kenobi turned back, mouth opening to reply.

It was cut off as something tackled Priest down, clawing at his beskar’gam.

It had once been human, that much Jango could tell.  But now? Now it was emancipated beyond anything he had seen, skin tight to its bones except where he could see vines writhing underneath.

Reau screamed in rage, bringing her blasters to arm and started to shoot.

Kenobi grabbed both Jango and Reau and yanked them back.

“They travel in packs; we need to move.”

Reau kept shooting as Kenobi tried to pull them along, eyes darting around, tense.  Sure enough, others joined the being in tearing Priest open like he was a lobster.

Jango pulled his arm out of Kenobi’s grip and tossed Reau over his shoulder, carrying her as she kept shooting.

“Get us to your ship Kenobi!” Jango ordered.

Honestly, kriff this entire planet.  If he could he would destroy it just to make sure no one else had to deal with this.

Kenobi gave one sharp nod and moved forward.  It took a while for Reau to stop firing and then she just snarled at him to put her down and was silent.

The Jedi Starfighter Kenobi had was a Delta-6 Sprite, luckily.  Jango had retrofitted parts of one for Slave I before.

They quickly stripped the parts they needed out.

“Can you use your Jetii powers to carry that?” Jango asked, mind racing for how to get them back to Slave I.

“Yes, but I won’t be much use in a fight if I do so.”

“That’s fine.  You stay in the middle.  I’ll take point, Reau’ll bring up the rear.  We need to get back to my ship quickly and get off.  I don’t like our chances with those things the longer we linger.”

They both nodded.

They encountered two more packs on their way back.  One they were able to avoid, seeing them a while off and diverting around some of the crashed ships.  They were tense the whole time, Kenobi keeping the parts as close to himself as possible, and they moved slowly.  But the pack wandered off, searching for meat elsewhere.

They weren’t able to avoid the second pack though.  That one spotted them between clumps of ships.  It also had a transformed Ward.  But it seemed as though Ward had taken down much of the pack before they got him, as it was only numbering 3.

Jango was able to shoot down one of them, a Zeltron in the tattered remains of black robes before they got close enough that he had to bark at Reau to join him in taking them on.

The things moved fast enough that they couldn’t get either down before they were too close for blaster fire.  Not with allies there as well and Ward still in beskar’gam, though missing one [pauldron]

Jango was able to push Ward back some with his flamethrower, the flames pulling an inhuman screech from Ward.  He kept trying to put himself between Ward and Kenobi, hoping to hold off long enough for Reau to finish off the other one and help him take down the now-inhuman Ward.

Reau, on the other hand, pulled out a kad to keep the other one back.  That one, a blond humanoid, didn’t seem bothered by the various cuts Reau landed on them.

Reau was able to end it though, when she impaled the thing and it pushed her down.  It sank down on top of her, her kad going through it more and more.  It tore at her as she struggled to keep it away.  Its hands catching on and ripping her kute before she pulled one of her blasters out.  She pressed it to the thing’s head and pulled.  It toppled over, still.

At the same time, Kenobi twisted around Jango and with a hum, his blue jetii’kad cut through Ward at the neck.

Kenobi immediately deactivated his jetii’kad as Ward fell over as well.

Jango wasn’t sure how he felt about a jetii’kad killing another Mando’ad, but.

But Kenobi had just saved his life.

“We need to move,” was the only thing he could think to say.

It was lucky.  They were close to Slave I.

They hurried there. Jango and Kenobi worked quickly and efficiently to install the parts, patching what they could.

Jango handed Kenobi the piece he had taken from the cockpit and told him to start up the ship as he grabbed Reau.

He found her outside, stripping her beskar’gam off.

“What are you doing?” he demanded.

“My kute was ripped,” she said, “that thing bled on me.  I won’t risk exposing the rest of the galaxy to whatever is on this planet.”

She hesitated then, looking at him.  It was a look filled with too much that he didn’t want to acknowledge.

“You would have been a great Mand’alor,” she told him, “make sure my family knows I fought bravely. Give them back my beskar’gam.”

Her lips quirked then, “maybe apologize that I couldn’t send back my blasters and kad.  I want to take as many of these [fuckers] out as I can once you two are gone.”

“’lek.”

It was all he could offer her.

He closed the hatch then.

“It’s just you and me,” he told Kenobi as he joined the Jetii in the cockpit, “Reau is staying. She thinks she’s infected.”

“Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la,” Kenobi murmured.

Jango closed his eyes and the ship took off.

It was going to take a while to figure out where to go once they were free of this planet and Jango had some decisions to make about what to tell this Jetii.

Because he was going to tell him.  He refused to be a pawn to the dar’jetii and Kenobi…

Obi-Wan Kenobi cared.

[plasticflowering]

veeee i want your input on something because you're smart... what's up with the black mirror teasers being so boring? this isn't hate, they look great and the concept looks cool, it's just that the photo and video teasers are cycling through the same two-ish outfit sets, same two mv sets, the same section of the song, even! such a limited scope compared to the teasers for something like banbakbulga (which granted was kind of buckwild when it came to the styling, but still). so DO they have more in store for us and are just keeping a lot of things under wraps? or is this just gonna be a lower-stakes, lower-budget comeback? genuinely unsure. feel free to ignore if you don't necessarily like speculation/negativity about these things! and have a nice day :)

You’re definitely not alone in noticing this. And before I answer further re: my own speculation, I’ll just say that I don’t think this is a bad thing, either. In fact, I think it’s rather novel and I appreciate it to an extent. 

Gonna break this down into three sections because I’m feeling wordy.

What we’ve gotten used to from ONEUS’ film language We are used to a few key things from this group’s visual milieu, and I’ve taken a look back at teasers past to try and crawl inside of why the Black Mirror teasers feel so off. The first thing that immediately came to mind is film language that conveys atmosphere. Twilight, ASWE, TBONTB, Come Back Home - all had a cinematic visual language that included open spaces, natural elements, some breathing room to take in the story and film language that made it clear there was a story to be taking in. Even when there wasn’t atmosphere, there was scope. Valkyrie, LIT, and BBUSYEO were all compact MVs with a few rotating setpieces, but they still managed to convey a feeling that we were outside looking in on something much larger. The angles, the composition of shots. Many scenes in Lit and Valkyrie specifically contain lots of wide shots and perspective shots. The film language for BBUSYEO is, while approaching a more constrained reality, very sitcom/drama. Lots of the shots there are conversational, and the editing absolutely pulls us along for a story with movement and scope. BBUSYEO is without a doubt ONEUS’ most explicitly story-telling MV, and the film language supports that.  No Diggity is in a class all its own, imo. The atmosphere is very claustrophobic, but this feeling is broken up amongst several different set pieces for each of the characters, and the camerawork is disorienting, the editing breakneck and wild. No Diggity is at once every overwrought “more things = better” K-Pop MV while also being very clever with the way it tells a dynamic story for each character via film language choices (for instance: the camera seems afraid of getting too close to Hwanwoong and Leedo. It orbits around Keonhee warily, reverently. It does not know what to do when Seoho is onscreen and goes wild. It’s comparatively intimate with Ravn. It approaches Xion carefully and slowly).

Why the Black Mirror teasers feel off Now look at the Black Mirror teasers. The first thing that absolutely, monstrously stands out is the lack of movement and atmosphere. This camera is stationary, these sets are black boxes. We are cramped, we are trapped. 

There’s a practical explanation for this, but it seems too convenient: it’s very difficult to shoot on a set full of mirrors. The logistics of building dollies and tracks, of moving a camera rig through a mirrored space without exposing them is mind-boggling, and for them to even attempt a mirror concept has me thinking “hmmmmmmm” right off the bat. Because ONEUS, and RBW in general, have never really been the “phone this one in” sort. I’m not saying that I believe there’s a lot more they’re keeping under wraps, necessarily, but I am saying that I think this MV might be more than meets the eye. For them to go here right after No Diggity brought them so far is an interesting choice, to say the least. 

But then, I also have a final point to make:

The sustainability of ONEUS K-Pop has a sustainability problem. Groups and companies feel the need to constantly be different, better, bigger. Dance in K-Pop goes harder and harder every year and the jury will always be out on whether it’s about technical skill or flashy entertainment (because a metric ton of technically mind-blowing choreographies get overlooked every year). Groups are boxed into concepts. Every group reaches a tipping point, and the groups that establish a baseline of “blockbuster comeback” will always have a harder time living up to the general public’s expectations.

So, say you’re a company with an up-and-coming group that has come to be known for doing its own thing. Going against that grain, experimenting, thriving in their artistry if not in the industry. They just had the most bombastic, over-the-top, frankly uncharacteristic release of their careers. It was successful. Lots of new fans came on board. So what to do now? Continue on that bombastic, over-the-top approach? Or pull these new fans in under your arm and say “ah, yes, but we’re also this,” and show them that this is a group you will never be able to predict or pigeonhole or box into a concept. Not even a film language concept. I think it’s brilliant, personally, because I would never want to see ONEUS struggling to keep up with blockbuster comeback expectations. 

Just my opinions, obviously. Feel free to disagree! I love talking about this stuff (obvs obvs obvs)

[reliciron]

Rattataki Headcanons

Rattataki, the rowdy bastards of the galaxy.

There isn’t very much on them, canon or otherwise, but a lot of my own personal headcanon aligns with what @spookthespy laid out in this post.

Rattataki evolved on their own, they are not descendant from humans, but as a near-human species, they CAN inter-breed with them, so an ancient lost Republic expedition would have either died or been assimilated into the gene pool. However, while human DNA is very widespread among the Rattataki population, the amount is very small and rarely causes much structural differences to their body.

Their blood is a grey-ish blue, and their skin is a combination of chalk white and translucent depending on how much time they spend in the sun.

Their rock hewn villages makes me think that originally they were cave dwellers, thus the pale complexion and eyes. The chalky white is their version of melanin, so the more translucent their skin is, the less sun they’re getting. The sun on Rattatak is very dim and diffuse, so the day there looks more like twilight to us, and their sun lights the sky up in a deep red from sunrise to sunset. Still, it is common to wear protective shawls and scarves over your head to protect it from the harsh UV rays. During battle, these head coverings are taken off or replaced by helmets, but it is preferable to leave the face uncovered at all times so their clan tattoos can be recognized.

I agree with spook in that their ink is basically gang tattoos, meant to help them recognize allies and enemies. And I also agree that piercings are a mixture of decoration and status. You get them because you want them and the more you have the more well off you seem because you can afford them.

They tend to have a low body mass, often short and stocky or average height and lanky, large individuals are fairly rare. While they are not any physically tougher than other species, their pain response is generally duller than other races, and in the midst of a rage, it’s nearly nonexistent. A berserk Rattataki will. not. stop. until you’re dead, they’re dead, or they pass out, whichever happens first.

They are an extremely healthy people, thanks to their ugly habit of culling the weaker members. They rarely get sick, but when they do, it is cause for immediate panic and isolation. To be caught in a weakened state could mean death, so even when out in the greater galaxy, illness produces almost paralyzing anxiety. This goes for just about anything that might hinder their ability to defend themselves: injury, illness, pregnancy, all of them lead to a constant state of anxiety until it is resolved. Miscarriage is a common problem on Rattatak. However, once healed, scars are a major source of pride to Rattataki, very much a ‘hey, look at me, I was tough enough to live through the injury AND the healing process without dying/ being murdered so you should think twice about messing with me’.

I totally agree with spook about their diet and iron stomach, and I’d add that this goes for drinks too. It takes A LOT to get a Rattataki drunk, and they are capable of drinking water that is far too brackish for other species to tolerate. Beggars can’t be choosers is a major mindset on Rattatak.

And I love their idea of Rattataki being very grabby about their food, especially the stuff they like, and being very uncomfortable with eating in public.

They’re generally kind of selfish, and very slow to trust, but once you DO get there, they’re pretty loyal. But if you stab them in the back after they trust you, there will be absolutely NO SECOND CHANCES, they may even go out of their way to be aggressive if not kill you outright, depending on the nature of your betrayal.

Very very opportunistic. If they see something they can get away with grabbing, they will grab it, even if they don’t really need it. Stuff is useful, someone will always want something, and the more stuff you have, the more you can trade for. A random thing you took a week ago could save your life because you traded it for medicine or food.

They’re particularly head strong and willful. They want to do things the way they want to do them. Their way or the highway. They CAN listen to other people, but it needs to happen before they make up their minds, after that they’ll probably just get mad at you because it will infer that they’re doing it wrong or they’re stupid for doing it that way. If you try to impose your will on them too often, you will be lumped into the ‘that asshole’ category, and you will never climb out. That’s why they tend to be so resistant to authority. Someone telling them what to do, even if it’s in a kind way, when they’ve already decided how they’re going to do it, pisses them off. Backtalk helps them establish just how strong the authority figure is, and weak leaders/bosses don’t last long.

Adaptability is definitely the name of the game on Rattatak. Being able to roll with the punches is a matter of life and death. Backup plans are a must, but if everything goes to hell you need to be able to think on your feet. Yet another reason to have a lot of stuff. You never know if the thing you grabbed the other day might come in handy, or could be made into a different thing that would save the day. Creativity is a prized trait, especially in regards to jury-rigging stuff. If you know how to cobble together a generator from 3 paper clips and a roll of tape, you are very valuable.

Notes on Appearance:

[Yet another example of me being grumpy that so many swtor aliens look like reskinned humans, so dammit, I’m going to tweak their appearance to fix that.]

I’ve drawn my consulars before, and while they have an atypical body shape, their general facial features are pretty standard for my version of Rattataki.

Their eyes are wider set than most near-human species and slightly turned outward, sort of a sweet spot between front facing and side facing eyes. This gives them a very wide field of vision while still having binocular vision in front, so it’s very difficult to sneak up on them. The down side is that the binocular field is narrower and the blind spot directly in front of them is larger. But if an enemy has already managed to get into your blind spot, you’re dead meat anyways. It also means that it’s common for a Rattataki to look at you a little more side on instead of directly facing you.

Their ears are small, pointed, and mobile. They have very good hearing, and a decent sense of smell.

Since they’ve had to adapt to eating just about anything, they tend to have small fangs for gripping food, the equivalent of carnasal teeth instead of premolars for shearing, and heavy molars for crushing. Their jaw muscles are very strong, so if they bite you, you better plan on losing whatever they’ve gotten a hold of.

And like spook said, there is generally little difference visually and culturally, between genders.

[patchoulimademoiselle]

Guilty. (Part 6.)

Part Six.

Steve Rogers (Lawyer AU) x Reader Insert. 

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: A bit of angst, Steve is an asshole at dinner and you make a hard decision. 

Notes: I missed last weeks update, so here it is. I’ll be posting on Friday as well. Sorry that this is a bit shorter than the other parts, this was just the right place to end it. 

Masterlist.

Part Six:

When James let's you into his apartment, he and Steve dive into conversation like old frat brothers. You on the other hand remain distracted, a blonde haired blue eyed someone has his hand on your thigh under the table, an innocent placement that would look more friendly than anything if someone else were to see it.

But you know the difference.

You can feel his restraint, muscles taught as he holds himself back from doing anything inappropriate. But all you can think of is where that hand was minutes before, and nothing they talk about proves to be more interesting than that. His jaw ticks ever so slightly, the only indication that he doesn't really care about the words coming out of his mouth. He gestures with his other hand, speaking so vividly that you can almost see the words rather than hear them.

Almost.

Because then his eyes land on you, along with the other set across the table, and you realize that now was a bad time to space out.

"What?"

He has the nerve to smile, hand squeezing you gently before retreating entirely, and you almost whine at the loss.

"Not so bright, is she?" Steve jokes, and the glare you give him is far from playful. What the hell are you doing?

Bucky scoffs from across the table, eyebrows high in disbelieve of the exchange he's seeing, and you're pretty sure you know what he's thinking. "I would hope she is, she's working with you on my case after all." Bucky reaches for his glass of water, and you can tell it's only in an attempt to relieve the tension in the room.

"Only where it counts." The smile Steve gives you is large, all teeth and sarcastic, and you aren't sure what his angle is. "He asked what your opinion is on how I'm leading the case."

Is this a power play? Here, now? In front our your client?

You grind your teeth, crossing your legs and sitting up before looking over at Bucky, who wears a small smirk on his face at your expense. "My opinion is that it's the best shot we have at winning your case at all." You say honestly. "I hope you understand Mr. Stark himself had nothing to do with this, and that it is Zeke Stane who we will be facing in court. He has been making moves under the table to buy Stark out of the company for years. The proof we have of the fraudulent claims he is making against you is the only way we can outsmart his lawyers."

You feel like you're on the stand right now, being drilled by two different men with two different perspectives. One knows you are right, and is only trying to see how well you can prove yourself. The other has no idea what to expect from you, and is blindly assuming that you know what you're doing. Steve is trying to embarrass you, Bucky is trying to simply understand.

"From a lawyers perspective, that makes perfect sense." Bucky plays with his glass. "But you aren't trying to prove it to the opposing side, you're trying to prove it to a jury, everyday people who are selected at random, and perhaps in Stark's pocket." Bucky holds up his hands, "Sorry, Zeke's pocket."

Steve nods, clearing his throat. "That's why we want to call and eye witness to the stand. Either Stark himself will have to testify, or an eye witness named Natasha Romanoff." Steve explains. "She's a former lawyer who worked closely with Tony Stark, and gave us some vital information we will be using against Zeke at the trial."

Bucky sighs, shoulders slumping, and your heart aches at the sight of it. "This whole thing feels rigged, and the fact that this is all on chance alone doesn't help ease my mind." He admits. "I was hoping you would come here with good news," His eyes zero in on you, and your breath catches in your throat, "But all I'm hearing is possibilities."

It's a coin game, head or tails, no real certainty of who is going to win, the only odds you have in your favor are chance, the probability that there's an option for the jury to decide with you at all. This is all you have to offer, just the basic knowledge that as long as you present something, there's a chance the jury will vote in favor of it.

"It's what we have." Steve is collected as always, brave faced when he needs to be. "When we have a statement prepared from our witness, we'll let you know."

To put it simply, dinner does not go smoothly. The daunting words Bucky left you with haunt you the entire time, and Steve simply ignores you for the sake of being good company. It's not until you leave that he finally addresses it, his hand catching your hip as he sits on the hood of his car, eyes dark and gleaming against the moonlight as he looks up at you.

He's probably going to scold you for loosing your cool, and you're probably going to scold him for trying to embarrass you. It all comes down to who speaks first.

"I can't believe you-"

"You know better-"

Both at once, and then silence. His eyebrows furrow, and you sigh, pulling your bag from off of your shoulder and depositing it in his hands, you dig through your toiletries for a cigarette. He lets you take a step back, the small flame from your lighter illuminating your features in the dark. It's concerning how often you've been reaching for them.

It's then that he speaks again, a small puff of smoke leaving your mouth. "You know better than to let your feelings get involved."

You scoff, looking up at the night sky as if it will crack open and give you an answer. It doesn't, and your eyes turn back on him in a glare. "Why did you put me on the spot like that?" The weight of the cigarette between your fingers feels heavy, a burden of your inability to function without chaos slapping you in the face as you go in for another drag, holding the smoke in your lungs as you speak again. "I got you your lead, I let you do all the talking, and you throw me under the bus as a thank you?"

It's Steve's turn to sigh, holding his fingers out, and you place your cigarette between them.

"I need him to trust me." He says. "I need him to trust me to lead the case, and the only way I can do that is by dimming the spotlight on you."

You aren't even sure what that means, crossing your arms over your chest as you wait for him to explain, cigarette tucked between his lips, the picture of pure sin as he tilts his head up to release the smoke straight up into the air.

"Bucky doesn't think with his head, he's been thinking with his dick." Steve is blunt enough to say, placing your purse beside him on the hood of the car. "He asked you to come over for dinner, and asked you what your opinion was on our lead. He favors you, and if I'm going to lead the case I need him to trust my judgment."

Just like you thought, it was all a power play, all a show to prove his dominance over you, to prove that he wears the pants and he runs the operation. It feels like a slap to your face, even though it shouldn't matter to you, Steve finds triumph in your embarrassment, and it makes you feel belittled not only as a lawyer but as a person.

"So you mock my intelligence in front of our client?" You question. "You mock my credibility as a lawyer in front of the man paying me to represent him in court?"

Perhaps he didn't see it from your perspective, because his jaw goes slack and his eyes glaze over with what you can identify a guilt. Or concern.

When you reach back in for your turn with the cigarette, he grabs your wrist, pulling you down to his eye level. "It's nothing personal." He says, "It's just how the game is played." You roll your eyes and try to tug yourself free from his grip, but when it doesn't budge, you realize he's looking at you with an entirely different expression now. Lust, desire, red hot and burning you alive when his eyes flick down to your lips, "Besides, if you knew what I knew, you wouldn't be complaining."

You did all the hard work, you risked everything to bring him the information he has, and now he's risking your credibility to boost his ego? You aren't exactly listening to him at this point, lost in thought rather than his words, but your responses are automatic, "What do you know?"

He hums, pulling you just a little closer, your heels scuff on the parking lot pavement as you shuffle forward, between his open legs, his hand reaching up to cup your jaw. "I know that Bucky Barnes is a dirty man," He says, lips only centimetres from yours. "I know that if you came here alone tonight, he would have tried to fuck you."

His words shock you back into focus, and he only nods at your expression. "I know because he was looking at you the way I look at you," He says. "And the dress I picked out for you didn't exactly help either, did it?" His finger hooks on the thin strap on your shoulder, tugging you down into a kiss. It's quick and chaste, his intent isn't to seduce you, but to reassure you. "But I wasn't going to let that happen. That's why I did what I did, to show him that I'm not stupid, and neither are you."

"You prove to him that I'm not stupid, by telling him I'm stupid?"

He shakes his head, clicking his tongue at you. "It was only to confirm that I'm leading the case, that you're loyal to me." He says. "It eliminates the probability of him trying something."

Of him....trying something? You never saw James as a threat, and never considered that he would try to make a move on you. But you also didn't think Steve was the jealous type, making a show for all the right reasons, just executing it the wrong way.

It's hard being a women in your line of work.

It almost makes you more upset, the fact that this was all a dick measuring contest, Steve needing to prove himself not only to you, but to Bucky as well. Not to mention Bucky, did he really see you as nothing more than a good fuck? Did he not take you seriously as a lawyer, only feeding into it for a chance to have sex with you? It's suffocating, and his gaze suddenly becomes too much, his grip suddenly feels too tight, his advances feel unwelcomed, and for the second time, you tug your wrist in an attempt to free yourself.

He lets you. "You're upset." Not a question, but you can tell by the look on his face that he wants a response.

"I'm overwhelmed." You admit, "The past few days have been rough."

Between this case and the emotional roller coaster that Steve has put you on, you feel just about ready to break. That doesn't make you weak, that doesn't make you emotional, it makes you human. You're running off just hours of sleep, the only thing keeping you on your feet was caffeine that is now burnt out. You haven't had a home cooked meal in what feels like years, eating takeout and fast food for every meal. The hangover you had this morning doesn't help either, your entire body thrown off.

The conversation you had with Natasha floats through your head, your presence a ghost in the shell of your body as you recall her advice. All of your benefits come with commitment, that's what she said, and as far as you're concerned, Steve Rogers isn't committed to you. He's committed to the job.

You watch as he stands, shrugging out of his suit jacket. He tries to drape it across your shoulders, but you dodge his attempt, ducking under his arm to take his place where he stood in front of the car. He clucks his tongue at you, annoyed, but patient as he tries a second time. You let him, his fingertips brushing across the skin on your shoulders as he bundles you up, eyes swimming with.....you can't quite place it.

"Stop trying to butter me up." You say. "We need to talk."

He too looks stressed out, rubbing a hand down his face. He hasn't had any sleep either, or at least that's what you gather from his sudden lack of energy.

"What did you promise Stark for those files?"

"I already told you, he just wants us to keep his name out of this." You tell him for a second time. "But, Natasha did tell him we were fucking. We have dirt on each other now, I went to his house and met his wife, he has a daughter, he just wants this to go away."

He lets out a sound of disbelief, a light puff of air rather than a laugh. "You really are too reckless, our faces could be plastered on tabloids as we speak."

You shrug, "Would that be the worst thing in the world?"

Even his smile looks tired, lip barely twitching.

"I guess not."

There's something unspoken between you, something dancing along the line of confessions and commitment. You can see it in his eyes. He's done. The chase isn't thrilling anymore, or at least not as thrilling as you. The heat in his gaze is like flames licking your skin and once again his fingers gab you, pulling you close, nose brushing your cheek as he whispers in your ear. "Don't do anything like that again. Do you understand?"

He must mean you acting without him, or it could be getting drunk alone, coming in to work hung over, a number of things on the list of don't do. There's a very fine line of what he does and doesn't tolerate, and it feels like you have to constantly dance between the two in order to keep his attention.

But the point he's trying to make is lost on you, the feeling of his hands traveling down your waist distracts you from the words coming out of his mouth.

Your mind is racing, too much is happening too fast, too many plot twists and turns that are overwhelming your brain. Bucky, Stark, Natasha, you feel like you're letting them all down, failing at your job as a lawyer even though you have guidance.

Gently, you remove his hands, taking a step back. "This is unprofessional." Your voice sounds weal even to your own ears, but you don't back down. "Take me home."

"Y/n-"

"Just take me home, please."

Your voice sounds distant, it makes his expression drop. But he doesn't say anything else, walking to the passenger side of the car and holding the door open or you.

The drive is silent, he doesn't even play the radio as he drives through the city to take you home. you don't mind it, but it does give you time to think.

You didn't mean to have a small breakdown, you did admit you were overwhelmed, but he kept pushing. There's but so much a person can take, sleepless nights and early mornings, one too many has finally caught up with you, and the way he touches you doesn't help. You only hope it doesn't change the way Steve sees you as a lawyer.

He wouldn't judge you, right?

You're not quite sure yet, but if the way he's gripping the steering wheel is anything to go off of, you can tell he's pissed off about it. Seeing him pissed off pisses you off, because what does he have to be upset about?

"You used me tonight." You say over the soft silence. "You dressed me up pretty and used me as bait to get Barnes to eat out of our palms." The gesture you had thought so hard about, the attentive way he kissed your shoulder, it was just to ease your suspicions. You felt used, hurt, which is exactly why you have to do this. 

"It won't happen again."

It doesn't need to, it only needed to happen once.

This won't be the end of it. It's just a new chapter, a turned page in the dynamic you share. You're no longer his arm candy, no longer a pretty faced right hand, no longer his little assistant. You're partners, and it's about time you start holding up your end of it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Guilty Masterlist. 

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[funkymbtifiction]

Do you have any examples of how dom Ti works in everyday life?

I don’t use it, and I do observe it in other people, so I can add a few things at the end, but I thought I’d ask my ISTP friend how hers appears on a daily basis.

She sent me this:

I work for a software company, primarily in tech support because I’m very good at troubleshooting (though I don’t like routines, so I help out other departments who come to me directly.  This is technically unsanctioned, but when a co-worker needs help and I know how to provide it, I do it anyway).  I’m able to use my in-depth knowledge of the software to determine not only how to solve the issue, but also, half the time, I need to figure out what is actually wrong from customer’s invariably scanty and vague description of their issue.  I’ll receive tickets with statements like “the totals for 12345 aren’t right” – which could mean anything.  12345 could be an invoice number, a master account number, a sub-account, or an import ID, or inventory ID, or a user-defined value… anything, really. However, before I email the customer and ask for clarification, I can often decipher their vague descriptions myself.  I know it’s something invoice related, and master accounts are the primary method of referring to invoices, so I would start there.  I would pull up all invoices or account 12345, and then check to see if any have discrepant totals and/or alerts that they’re out of balance. If I find one, then at that point, I will usually send an email to the customer to confirm I’m looking at the right issue, and I don’t have to make them feel like an idiot for not providing enough info up front. I work frequently with a newer employee who tends to be very literal. He’ll tell me in frustration:  "I spent two hours searching the reports for this number but found nothing.“

Me: “Did you use wildcards and part of the number?" 

Newer Employee: ” …“ 

Me, two minutes later:  "Is this the data you’re looking for?" 

Newer Employee: ”…“ 

There’s not one way to do things, there are many ways.  I can jury rig just about any process in the software I support.  I find it easy to work back from the end result someone needs to find ways to populate and/or pull it out.  I also tend to troubleshoot faster than my co-workers can keep up with, and if I’m training someone I usually have to slow way down.   Working with detail-oriented, by-the-book, methodical people is the bane of my life.  They want to go through the process from start to finish, and I can jump to the heart of the problem.   But doing that breaks their way of thinking, so I prefer to work by myself. I am not a team player, not if I can help it.  Other people just slow me down.  But leave me alone and I’ll figure out whatever the problem is.

A Ti/Se example of how it turns up in daily life, with regards to meal-planning (ahh, perceivers… let’s just wing it!! ;):

My sister:  "What should we get for dinner tonight?" 

Me:  "I don’t know, let’s see what the store has and decide there.”

My answer to this question drives my sister crazy.  She wants to go to the store with some idea of what kind of food we’re looking for in advance. I can’t do that.  I don’t know how you can possibly have any idea what to buy for dinner until you get to the store and see what’s on sale and/or what looks good.  My head stays full of all the meals we would regularly make, so I know what other ingredients I would need to buy based on whatever main ingredient is chosen.  If chicken is on sale, great, there are 30 ways I can make chicken quickly.  Then it’s a matter of what sounds good at the time, grab those ingredients and whatever goes with it, done.  I’ve got dinner. Along the same lines, my mom loves to read the grocery store ads to see what’s on sale.  She saves these to pass to me… and I haven’t the heart to tell her they don’t matter to me.  Even if I read them, I won’t remember which store had what when it is time to go to the store.  I don’t plan my grocery store visits around sales.  If something’s on sale that I use, I’ll see it when I get to the store.  If it’s not on sale and I don’t need it, then I’ll pass it by.  I make all those decisions at the store, not in advance.  I don’t make lists either.  The only exception to that is when I’m baking something with unusual ingredients that wouldn’t normally be on my radar.  Otherwise, I always know what I need (there’s a running list in my head), or I’ll make it up as I go.   Don’t make me plan about food before I get to the store! I’m also very good about timing the cooking of all side dishes and the main dish so that everything comes off the stove at the same time.  I’m not a casserole (gross) or one-pot cooking type of person.  So, when I cook dinner, it’s usually some kind of protein, with a couple of side dishes (like grilled chicken, with jasmine rice and sauteed broccoli, for example).  Usually at least 2 or 3 different pots/pans etc.  It is extremely rare that I won’t have all three coming off the stove within a minute of each other.   I know how long things take to cook and I simply start each dish so that it will finish at the right time.  I don’t really need a clock for this, though I do use timers for how long things like rice should cook, etc.

Mod Note: from an outside perspective, looking at my Ti-dom / INTP brother (who is admittedly a strong 5), Ti in daily life seems more interested in figuring things out and focusing on picking away at others’ arguments to make them all consistent than anything. It is ruthlessly logical and detached, once it knows how ‘something works’ it can work within that system effortlessly, and it often will go in without any kind of plan and just… ‘wing it’ based on what’s available, a lot like the cooking example above, but more in terms of abstract theories. They typically do not like having their thinking process challenged in the sense that they will prefer their own method of thinking / logical assessment to yours, yours probably is flawed, and therefore mine is the superior argument that I am sticking to… in part because if they are wrong and you are right, it means doing a complete mental re-haul of their logical process, which is time-consuming and might cause the entire thing to fracture. Logic is logic, and logic is what they see, and THEIR logic is how they respond. - ENFP Mod

[ask-de-writer]

SEA DRAGON’S GIFT : Part 83 of 83 : World of Sea

Return to the Master Story Index

Return to World of Sea

SEA DRAGON’S GIFT

Part 83 of 83

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

140406 words

copyright 2020

written 2007

All rights reserved.

Reproduction in any form, physical, electronic or digital is prohibited without the express consent of the author.

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Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users

Users   of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights.  They may   reblog the story provided that all author and copyright information   remains intact.  They may use the characters or original characters in   my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical   compositions.

All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.

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New to the story?  Read from the beginning.  PART 1 is here

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“Why, one,” said Master Juris, bothered now by where the questions might lead.  Master Clard and the others all followed in a ragged chorus, “One.”

“Could you all hear the drum talk between the ships?”  Kurin had hands on hips now, and determination in her tone.

Again the chorus of yeses sounded.

“So, you knew that Mister Kotance was attempting to seize my  personal property on the pretext that I was only a child as Master Juris just tried to claim as well?  That he was trying to take a ship and murder people that you all knew very well were seeking redress of wrongs done to them by the fleet?  Then you just stood by and let at least a quarter of the crew risk Scattering for participation in piracy?  It wasn’t until Mord Halyn, whom I still regard as my Captain, tried to deal with the results of the piracy’s failure that you, your apprentices and journeymen finally emerged in spite of the guards and took over, as you should have done at once.

“Now you throw in our faces the attempt to save you from the results of your own folly?”  Kurin finished severely, “Take the Wergeld offer.  Save your ship.  Or take the Fleet Law and lose it.”

While the Longin’s abashed officers and Masters conferred, Kurin turned to Tanlin.  “Thanks for that hug.  I really needed it.”

“Oi know,” she replied.  “Ye needed ‘Igh Cloud too.”

Softly, Kurin asked, “Lady — Captain Tanlin, can you take something from me?”

“I’ tis w’at Oi suspect tis, nae.  Nae now,” Tanlin answered equally softly.  “Just now, we’re tryin’ t’ save t’em, nae drive t’em onto a reef — in a storm — wit’ a Dragon-tide t’ ‘elp t’ings along.”

The Longin’s conference was brief.  It was Master Clard who spoke for them.  In a clear voice he said formally, “Your Honors, Kurin, the Longin wishes to formally apologize to you all, and you, Kurin, especially.  Master Juris spoke from passion, not thought.  He was angry and let his feelings get the better of him.

“For the rest, a majority of us have decided to hear out the Wergeld idea. If we do not, it would appear that we are dismasted and sinking with no help in sight.  Make your offer.”

Kurin stood up, relief clear on her countenance.  “The first part of the agreement is common to all Wergeld agreements.  It is simply the rules of the Wergeld.  You must acknowledge the wrongs in dispute and publicly agree to the settlement that we bargain out.  The settlement will have the force of fleet Law once reached.  It is between us alone.  It may not be used as a precedent or in any future criminal or civil action not directly related to the terms of this understanding.  Things said or admitted in this Wergeld may not be used against either of us in future legal action, civil or criminal. Any future charges brought must stand on their own merits and may not derive from this agreement.  Last, all grudges and feuds between the parties of this Wergeld must be put aside or the whole thing is voided and the Law will take its proper course.

“The wrongs in question have been listed already.  They are not disputable.  All else is subject to negotiation.

“The first term of the offer is this.  Mister Kotance has already been separately charged.  No term of this Wergeld shall be in any way binding on him.

“For our part, we have Mister Morgu and Silor who will have to be tried before the fleet for their mutiny, attempted murder and murder.  This whole sad mess began and was caused by their hate.  They also shall have no protection in this Wergeld.

“Can you agree with us so far?” asked Kurin hopefully.

Alor, the Longin’s Purser and legal officer, asked Captain Sarfin, “Before we say anything, will the Naral fleet agree to this — Wergeld thing?”

Sarfin steepled his hands, thought for a moment, and then conferred with Sula.  He nodded and Sula spoke for the bench.  “As one of the parties involved is Arrakan and we are not in Naral fleet waters, Arrakan Law and Custom may be properly invoked.  The Third Great Law gives the Naral fleet no choice in the matter.  They must enforce the Wergeld as agreed between you.”

“Then we can agree, so far, Kurin.”  She tilted her head in sad puzzlement at one change that she had heard.  “Us?  We? Our? Kurin?  Will you still leave us?  What good will this do if we cannot have the school and the mapping contract?”

“Don’t be afraid, Alor,” Kurin reassured her.  “I won’t abandon you to be Scattered.  Some things do have to change, though.”

She turned and asked, “Barad, will you present the next term?”

He stood and smiled in a twisted sort of way.  “I never thought to be in this position.  Mord Halyn Longin, I have to apologize to you in particular.  That I tried to stop the mutiny is no excuse for starting the plot in the first place.  I was wrong.  I am sure that my error brought you onto dry land for a time.  I am also sure that you now have safe water under your keel.  The term is this.  The fleet must restore your Master’s Certificate and replace you at the helm of the Longin.  They need you.  If you don’t think so, just look at how quickly and to what extent they went out the scuppers without you.  

“Besides, you were a guest at our Announcement Feast, so my old feud with you is dead or I lose my wife.  Can you agree to this?”  He held out his hand toward Mord, who appeared to be looking for some hook in what he had heard.  At last, prodded by Alor, he shook Barad’s hand in agreement.  He appeared to be disturbed that he owed his restoration, ship and freedom to Barad whom he had always thought of (correctly) as an enemy.

Tanlin stood and raised hands for attention.  “As Ca’tain o’ t’e Grandalor, Oi ‘ave t’ bring t’e next part o’ t’e Wergeld. By t’e terms, Oi can bring up yer violation o’ t’e Fift’ Groit Law an’ ye cannae be charged in any way because even i’ t’is negotiation gets off t’e hook, we’ve let t’e matter go. As a result o’ t’at violation t’ree o’ m’ crew were killed an’ twa wounded.  In t’e piracy attempt, a furt’er ane wa’ killed.  T’e murderer ‘as been charged but ‘is chance came because nane o’ ye but Kurin tried t’ stop ‘t.

“We lost Lenai Halin, t’e best riggin’ surveyor an’ sail lofter in m’ experience.  She wa’ a gentle soul ‘oo never raised ‘er voice t’ any.  She spent many ‘ours at m’ bedside teachin’ m’ t’ read yer script an’ figure wit’ yer numbers.  ‘Er son Arnat’s got nae mot’er now.  

“Helmsman Macoul wa’ dead before ‘e ‘it t’e boat under ‘im.  ‘E braved t’e Coriolis Storm, off ‘is wotch, t’ bring ‘ot food an’ drink t’ Barad an’ Darkistry as t’ey conned t’e ship int’ t’e eye o’ t’e storm.  A good mon.  Gone.  

“Bosun Modanet ‘elped direct t’e rescue operations wen t’e Princamorn sank.  ‘E an’ Barad pulled m’ oot o’ t’e woter an’ saved m’ life.  Died on yer ship wit’ never t’e attention o’ a doctor.  Cast overboard loike garbage.

“Our second day wotch drummer, Morga, a lad o’ fifteen.  Nae older’ll ‘e get.  Ripped apart an’ sent over t’e side by a Strong Skin catapult ‘arpoon aimed at Kurin an’ Darkistry.

“Like t’e mot’er Orca o’ Kurin’s tale, Oi’m surry for us bot’. We cannae bring t’em bock.  Oi propose t’at ye pay Arnat ten skins a Gat’ering for ‘is maintenance.  Any unused balance, an’ t’ere will be, is t’ go into ‘is Purser’s account as a nest egg for wen ‘e gets married.  For Lenai, we ask an annual rigging an’ sail survey dune by t’e Mordan at yer expense.  Any replacement cable or cordage is t’ be Mordan Twist.  We split t’e cost o’ any sails needed.  Oi ask yer ‘elp in Macoul’s case. Oi donnae know how t’ value ‘im.  Oi wish t’at Oi’d known ‘im better.”

“We are not responsible for …” Master Juris started when Mord, Alor and Mistress Daeron all silenced him.

Mistress Daeron said, “Even in the Rope Walk, I heard the fog drum go silent.  I knew that we were still in fog and I did not send to find the cause.  I know that the rest of us did the same because we have all discussed it.

“I do not know whether anything would have changed if we had investigated.  We cannot change it nor bring back your dead.  We should have tried.  That we are guilty of.  We stood by and did not even try to do something when we knew that something was wrong.  We heard the screams.  All of us.”

Tanlin answered her, “For our part, we precipitated t’e incident.  We approached ye under false colors.  Ever’ member o’ t’at party bore a message from m’ t’ clear t’at up after t’ey had gotten aboard.”  Tanlin paused and shook her head sadly, “We dinnae expect t’at nane o’ t’ dozen wad reach yer deck alive.

“We came t’ t’e Longin because we couldnae trust any ot’er ship except t’e Dorton, an’ we dinnae know w’ere she wa’.  We ‘oped t’ speak t’ Kurin.  At a ‘orrible cost we did.  She ‘as repaid our trust better t’an we could ‘ave ‘oped.  She’s even saved m’ Barad.

“T’e cost t’ ‘er wa’ equally ‘orrid.  T’ ‘elp us, she’s lost ‘er ‘ome ship.”

Master Juris spluttered, “She has not.  The Longin needs her.  We couldn’t send her away.  It would ruin us.”

Tanlin said scornfully, “W’at ye’ve just said makes t’e case.  Nae part o’ w’at any o’ ye said wa’, ‘We luve ‘er.’  Since ‘er fat’er died, only five beings on t’is world ‘ave said, ‘Oi luve ye’ t’ ‘er.  An’ t’ey were all birds.”

“Six,” Kurin interrupted, speaking to Tanlin.  “You were part of the flock that came to save me from Captain Urson.  And you have held and hugged me without needing a reason.”

Master Juris snorted, “We could do that.”

“T’en wye dinnae ye?” was Tanlin’s sharp retort.  “Ye ‘ad six Gat’erings t’ ‘elp a child.  All ye did wa’ teach ‘er an’ praise ‘er wen she did well.  No ‘ugs.  Naebody t’ ‘old. Just pain an’ emptiness inside, ‘eld at bay by learnin’ an’ work.”

A tear of gratitude leaked from Kurin’s eye as she said, “The last part of this Wergeld is this.  We will settle all the remaining unsettled claims.  I am the price you must pay.  I have found a home on the Grandalor, not just a place to stay.  

“Your Ship’s Business will remain safe, specifically, the mapping and charting, the navigation system, the Longin lace, and the fishing and shellfish taking and storage methods.

“I will come to the Longin to supervise and teach the school and also to map the Naral fleet waters according to your contracts.  From each Fall Gathering to each Spring Gathering I will be aboard the Grandalor while she trades with the Arrakan, Daroff, and Pallant fleets.  By the time that your mapping contract with the Naral fleet is done, if not well before, there should be others who can take over the school.

“That should complete the Wergeld and keep you safe from the Scattering that would otherwise be required.  We have thrown you a line.  Don’t drown.”

Kurin turned to Tanlin.  “Captain Tanlin, I have something for you.  It has nothing to do with the business of this Court.  This is my own free choice and I want it seen and witnessed by all.”  She held out her hands in the Arrakan style and knelt.  Tanlin took Kurin’s small hands in her own as Kurin began, “I Kurin Behar Longin, now of the Grandalor alone …”

“I wish that I had known about this kind of love when I gave you your Gift,” said Blind Mecat softly.  “I never got it either.”

-THE END-

<==PREVIOUS

Return to the Master Story Index

Return to World of Sea

[subsequentibis]

this is a DELIGHT to read, thank you so much for submitting it!! publishing for the aforementioned class, everyone pls take notes. p.s. i do have a wheelbarrow in my garage so if you ever need to transport sixteen stone of injured sea captain hit me up

-ibis

~~

hello, i’m fairly sure you know exactly which silly person is writing this at this point.  yes, it’s me again.  i really truly hope that this works and doesn’t do a weird thing, i’m a tiny bit alarmed about doing this.  i am a tiny nervous horse when it comes to internet stuff and i’ve attempted to proofread this maybe three times in order to put off actually sending this to you.  i guess i’m just going to have to get this over with, so here are my debatably comprehendable ideas, mostly exactly as they were written in yesterday’s four-hour spiral of madness.

breaking news: local goof observes a tumblr post and proceeds to attempt to hack reality in order to see if they could in theory achieve this.  am i ready to haul nearly six feet of incapacitated and extremely thick local captain to the nearest medical facility?  part of me says no, part of me says hell yeah.  let’s go find out.

okay, what do i get and what skills do i have.  (time to invent some rules for this strange game and figure out just what i’d do.  focusing on stephen and jack because they were the two characters you mentioned, this could probably apply to other characters but i’m going to only reckon with these as this project is strange enough as it currently stands.  i’m expecting this to quickly go off the rails.)  (note as i edit this over: this is extremely chaotic and you should be warned.  i thought way too much about this and it shows, and it kind of terrifies me, not only because of the baffling sentence structures (or lack thereof).  rereading this after having properly eaten and communicated with human beings for the day has shown me that i sound like an alien for much of this.  terribly sorry to sound like an alien, swear i’m human and just kind of a bit strange inside.)

so: i can have anything currently on the property where i currently reside (garage and driveway included) and all my real skills.

i cannot drive because:

i do not have the physical ability to drive

i do not have the legal ability to drive

i can’t get help from any other person: this is an imaginary situation where exists in this house just me and a fictional lad who needs to be got to a local medical facility.  (this is a very weird imaginary situation but honestly the peak of my own interests colliding.)

so what do i have here anyway (all of this is written assuming i personally am the one having to do this and am moving one of them from my place of residence to the nearest medical facility):

arms: not very strong (could potentially lift stephen since i can lift some of my friends and he’s both shorter and thinner, definitely cannot move jack an inch)

legs: i assume walking is not an option for reasons of either necessary speed of delivery or actually he cannot walk.  oh yeah and also reasons of narrative whatever.  continuing.

cars: cannot and will not drive, he is from the 1800s and cannot drive either, or in the case of stephen even if he could drive should not be trusted behind the wheel even in the peak of health.  anyway given this vague situation we none of us should be driving.

bikes (various): i’m a fairly good biker, i’ve got pretty good stamina and can haul rather well on my own bike.  with a little work (as seen in yon post) might be able to even sort of rig something up to perch stephen on my handlebars.  this will not function with jack.  *with a great deal of effort i drag him onto the front of the bike, wait a beat, then watch in horror as the bike tips back wheel up and dumps him back on the floor with an unpleasant thud* so that’s not going to work.

wheelbarrow: very cool and possibly functional plan.  unfortunately we do not have a wheelbarrow.  alas.

wagon: pros and cons.  pro: we can haul the boy in this.  con: we have to haul the boy.  the boy can fit in this in a balanced manner, but let me restate: my arms are not very strong and jack is near six feet of unhelpful heavy meat.  as usual this is more of a viable option for stephen.  but god jack is just a big dense boy and i’m just a wobbly little person with noodles for arms.

alright.  local noodle-armed goof is trying some new approaches regarding wagon/bikes: using my dad’s old bike with the board on the back and sort of tying him on there somehow so he faces backwards and sort of leans on me.  he could even put his feet in the little saddlebag things for balance!  although again i’d be worried about the sheer weight and size if i’m basically just dragging this man like a deceased sack of meat all the way to the hospital.  so that depends.  one more for the list of could potentially work with stephen.  (although if he was anything less than utterly out i would have zero luck getting either of them to take part in any of these increasingly ridiculous plans.) (actually, depending on the situation it might work out if he was in a certain mood?  anyhow, did not come here for these considerations.  only for increasingly less reasonable methods of transportation.) 

okay forging boldly onward.  if i don’t want to try to do a huge hill with the wagon and my little noodle arms and hundreds-odd pounds of floppy boat lad i could try to rig up something where i tie the wagon to the back of a bike, but that wouldn’t end well because on downhills it would slide forward unless i distributed the weight somehow to make the front of the bike heavier than the wagon… which is not gonna happen because that would either be impossible with the supplies i have or render the bike entirely nonfunctional.  leaving the wagon to clunk back and forth is also an issue given that i am trying to get this man medical attention asap and not actively make the situation worse.  i’ve done this wagon and bike thing before when both people involved were starting out fine and even that didn’t end well.  (in case you were wondering, we careened down the street crashing into one another and came to a stop by hitting a parked car.  we are all fine now and so is the car and we do not do things like this anymore.  it was a terrible idea that i regret every day.)  no go.

vacuum cleaner: bad idea.  no.  did i think of these as an option just because i have one and it has wheels?  i did, didn’t i.  do not attempt.

razor scooter: no.  why.  how.  please stop this.

boards: possibly a viable option.  we got skateboards, we got surfboards, we got actual just plain old wooden boards.  (none of the ones in my home actually belong to me, but ignore that bit.  trying to save a life here.)  probably the best route would be to stick some skateboards under something big enough to bear up an entire human person, slap a few pillows or something over top, and get shoving.  don’t ask about what happens when we get to the big hills.  (yeah i live in an area made entirely of hills and it’s a long steep way down and a long steep way up to get anywhere of interest, and if you’re on wheels then sucks to be you i guess.)  in retrospect perhaps not as good of an idea.

so i guess four hours later i’ve come to the precise conclusion that you did.

put stephen on a bike.  put jack in a wagon.�� maybe learn to drive?  jury’s still out on that one.  anyway that was a fun four hours that i won’t regret spending this way at all no sirree.

alright!  hope this wasn’t too strange or unreadable!  have a nice day, you’re wonderful!

[kaesaaurelia]

here’s your shining sword and spear

For @whumptober2020 day 19: "Broken Hearts” (and incorporating all three suggested themes, “grief,” “mourning loved one,” and “survivor’s guilt”)

Allusion to Satan/Crowley, brief mention of an ill-fated OC / OC pairing, and an OC having a one-sided crush on Michael.

This fic has a companion piece about Crowley here that focuses more on Satan/Crowley and what Hell was like just after the war, but you don’t need to have read that to read this.

Content warning for discussion of a failed suicide attempt, and for Heaven being a toxic work environment.

"It's not too late to stay here," Vehuel said, hopefully. "I'll go for you and that way you can just do whatever you want until we get back."

"No, no, I have to go, Lucifer wants me there," said Gadreel, glowing with pride. "I'm his favorite."

Vehuel bit back a remark about this; they'd had this discussion too many times already, about how Lucifer treated his favorites, and about how Gadreel deserved better than that.  He could be as proud as he wanted of what Lucifer said to him, but Lucifer was careless and cruel, and used flattery very deliberately, and Vehuel hoped very much that he would be remade into a better version of himself after all this.  Perhaps a version with less authority over Gadreel.  A version that would grovel in apology for the deeds of his predecessor, and would never make anyone tremble with fear because they'd made a very small mistake with gravity that hadn't even been permanent, and that would also maybe stand still while Vehuel punched him.  That seemed fair; it wasn't like Vehuel could hurt him, after all.  But it would be cathartic.  "I'm sure he wouldn't want you to get hurt for his sake, then," Vehuel lied.  "Since he likes you so much."  Gadreel's wings flicked in irritation, because he knew that wasn't true, but he didn't dare call her on it.

"I'll be fine," Gadreel insisted.  "And besides, I'd love to see the look on that wanker Gabriel's face when we storm in and take Heaven. Aren't you looking forward to that?

"Yeah, I guess," she said. She did kind of want to see Gabriel's face when it turned out she'd been the one to save all of Heaven from Lucifer's poorly-thought-out plan. (Gabriel would not be there; he and all his underlings would miss the entire war for a lengthy meeting of the Human Design Team.  He would never see Vehuel as anything but a troublesome and suspicious remnant of Lucifer's forces.) "I'm just worried something bad will happen to you," she said.

"You're always worried something bad will happen to me and it never does, Vehuel, I don't know why you think I can't take care of myself," said Gadreel. Vehuel stopped herself from reminding him of the time he'd almost licked a raw singularity. She would regret that restraint later. "Besides, God told you not to worry, didn't She?"

Vehuel snorted; she knew he was being difficult for difficulty's sake.  "I thought we were disobeying Her now?" she asked, with an ironic twist of her spirals.

"I'm just saying," he said.  "Anyway, why don't you lend me some of your eyes?  Then I could see trouble coming."

If he saw trouble coming, Vehuel knew, he'd leap right into it.  "I really don't want to, sorry," she said, drawing her wings over herself nervously, to hide some of the glow of her halo.  At least Gadreel wouldn't doubt her sincerity.  He didn't know she had the mysterious thing Michael had given her, the Weapon.  It ought to have made her more confident, but it frightened her that Michael thought she'd need it.  "I'm kind of worried I won't be able to take care of myself?" she admitted.

"What?" he asked, sounding almost outraged. "No!  Why?  You're bigger and meaner than me, I need the eyes more."

"No, you're definitely meaner than me," she said.  "Remember what you did to poor Len?"  She'd been very sad about Len breaking up with her, sure, but it wasn't really his fault she was clingy and annoying and didn't love him enough.

"He deserved it," said Gadreel.  "It was justice.  It's not really meanness if it's deserved, is it?"

"I don't think anyone really deserves to be tied to a comet and left for a few million years until he's missed at the next all hands meeting," Vehuel said.

"Sure they do!  Anyway, you're still bigger than me."

"By a smidge, Gadreel, it won't matter if either of us has to fight -- I don't know, Michael or someone like that."  She prayed Gadreel would have the good sense never to fight Michael, and knew in her heart that Gadreel would never have any good sense.  "Listen, how about you stay in front and I go behind you and watch out for anyone trying to sneak up. We'll work together."  They always worked well together, even when they weren't getting along.

"Oh, fine," he said, rolling his (apparently insufficiently numerous) eyes.  "But you'd better pay attention."

"I'm not gonna let anything happen to you!" she said.

"You'd better not," he warned her.  "I won't let you forget it if you do."

"I know, that's why," she said, shoving him.  "You'll be fucking insufferable for eternity otherwise."

"I'm going to be fucking insufferable for eternity anyway," he said proudly.

Gadreel might be an idiot, but he was her idiot, and even if she was planning to betray the rest of them, she would never let anyone hurt him.  So when he'd lunged at an archangel like a nitwit as soon as they got to Heaven, she pulled out the strange, sharp Weapon that Michael had given her to deter Lucifer from hurting her.  If it could deter Lucifer from doing something cruel, of course it would be able to deter Gadreel from doing something stupid.

Michael had neglected to mention, however, that it would carve through his spirals like he was nothing but a dust cloud, cutting him nearly in half.  He looked back at her, terrified and betrayed, and then some stupid seraph knocked Vehuel out of the way to get at somebody more important, and though she looked for Gadreel the whole time, she didn't see him again.

--

Vehuel was just being released from the hospital when the Archangel Michael came to see her. This would be her third set of wings; the first had been sheared off by a comet Lucifer hadn't warned them about, and the second had burned up in a supernova she'd thrown into the middle of the battlefield. She wondered how long her third set would last.

"We've decided to give you a metal," said Michael. "For your bravery."

It hadn't been bravery. It had been pretty much the opposite of that. "Thank you," she said, curling tightly in on herself. "What... um, what does that mean exactly?"

"It's a new concept," said Michael brightly, and Vehuel couldn't understand how Michael could be so cheerful -- how everyone, really, could be so unceasingly positive. She hadn't felt a single negative emotion off of anyone while she was here, but she was miserable. No one seemed to notice, though. They kept calling her a trooper.

She didn't want to be a trooper. She wasn't sure she wanted to be anything.

But now Michael was explaining about metals, and electricity, and reflectivity. "I know what metals are. The substance. I know those," said Vehuel, who had worked with them before. She'd had to jury-rig her own out of helium, even, when she and Len been tapped to build those two gas giants. "What I mean is --"

"Oh! Oh, of course, the part about giving you one," said Michael. "It's -- well, it's sort of decorative. It's to show everyone that you're a hero. It was very brave, what you did out there with the supernova. Saved us a lot of time, and maybe lives. How did you know you'd get out?"

It had not been brave in the least, but Vehuel had lied to Lucifer, and she knew she could lie to Michael. "It was a calculated risk," she said, trying to make it sound carefree, like it had been nothing to throw an unstable white dwarf into the battlefield. She tried to make it sound like she'd known she would probably get out all right. That maybe she hadn't expected her wings to catch fire, but that the sacrifice was minor in the grand scheme of things.

She tried to make it sound like she'd been planning to get out all right in the first place, and not that she’d panicked and regretted her choice as soon as she’d made it.

"I heard I didn't get Lucifer, though," she added. "Is that true?" He was the only one she'd wanted to actually... end.  Or make different, anyway.  She didn't know if she had wanted to end anyone, really.  It hadn't occurred to her that people could stop existing.

"No, I dealt with him later," said Michael. "Don't worry, though, he's far away."

But he still exists, she thought, and as for being told not to worry, Vehuel had never obeyed that command.

"Do you want your metal now?" Michael asked.

"Um. Okay?" said Vehuel, who didn't know how this was going to go. Michael extended one of her hands, and suddenly Vehuel's whole being felt warm and strange, and she saw that in among the whorls of blue and purple that made her, there were specks of gold, like stars.

"Isn't it nice?" Michael asked brightly. "I thought the gold would go nicely with your eyes."

"Ah. It. Um. I. Guess?' said Vehuel, her halo flaring. She resisted the urge to cover herself with her wings, because it would hurt like anything, but for some reason the idea of the Archangel Michael having noticed her in an aesthetic capacity was terrifying and thrilling all at once and she didn't know what to say. What did you say to that?

But Michael was already moving on. "Rest up! We're going to need you for the rest of the stars," she said, and Vehuel was both relieved and disappointed. She wanted to talk to Gadreel about it, only he would have made fun of her. Or asked her how exactly this was any different from the way Lucifer behaved. But Lucifer had been doing it on purpose, and Michael surely wasn't, and also, she would never be able to talk to Gadreel again, because he was gone forever.

--

Vehuel went right back to work after as soon as they'd let her, because she felt like, for the very first time, her mind was empty and echoing. There was nothing for her to worry about anymore. The worst had already happened. She had made it happen.

So she drifted into the outer reaches of Earth's solar system -- also very empty, but not, thankfully, echoing -- and she filled it up with little things. On her best day, she made a weird oblong object that looked like a potato -- or, rather, several millennia later, when she first held a potato in her hand, she would think My god, this looks just like Haumea!  But at the time, she'd only thought, This looks so stupid, I love it, before giving it two tiny moons and sending it hurtling end over end on its eccentric way.

On her worst day, she tried to build a fitting memorial for Gadreel. She remembered that first conversation she'd had with him, playing with gravity and sparks; she remembered how beautiful she'd found that tiny binary star system they'd ended up making by accident, and how much care and creativity they'd put into making it out of real starstuff in real space, and she tried to make something like that out of rock and ice, but she kept adding onto them, trying to make them the same size, and eventually the bigger one was nearly as big as a real planet, and the little one kept going unstable and breaking little crumbs of itself off when she added to it, so she gave up. They would have to be close enough.

She wondered why she was here.  She couldn't imagine that humans would ever come here or see these things she was making -- they were such fragile, helpless little things that apparently a little bit of hard UV could knock them right out of commission forever.

But eventually, once she'd done all she could in the Kuiper Belt and was back in Heaven filing shitty paperwork for shitty archangels, a posting on Earth happened to open up -- well above her rank, but then again, she had the metal Michael had awarded her, and she hoped that would count for something.  So after calling in some favors with the physics office and making very sure that her halo wasn't the wrong kind of UV, she put in her application.  Maybe she could find a new thing she was for.  Maybe she could be good at protecting someone.  Even if it wasn't Gadreel.

[opposablethumbsonabear]

Spring Gauntlets

Part of this pattern is pretty much lifted wholesale from Kris Percival’s “Warmest Mittens” pattern in her book Knitting Pretty (which, if you’re new to knitting, is a pretty goddamn good resource for getting good pattern by pattern, with explanations of skills not often explained in patterns). So thanks, Kris Percival, for teaching me how to knit a thumb gusset.

You will need:

1 (or 2 or 3, if doing a multicolor variation) skein of sport weight yarn (marked with a 2 and “Fine” on the label, because I can never figure out what the hell any of these random weight descriptors have to do with any of the actual factual weights)

1 set (4 needles) of 5 mm (US 8) double-pointed needles (we’re knitting in the round on this one, kiddies)

2 stitch markers (which I made with loops of yarn of a contrasting color. Just be careful not to knit them right into your gauntlets)

1 stitch holder (or, if you’re a cheater like me, a single-pointed needle with a stopper on the pointy end, or another double-pointed needle with stoppers on both ends. Hack your knitting, folks)

Yarn needle for weaving in ends

Scissors, probably, unless you cut your yarn with a Bowie knife, in which case I’m not gonna stop you.

Cast on 36 stitches onto one of the double-pointed 5 mm needles.

(This step can be done either now or after working a few rows not in the round, to avoid twisting your work or otherwise messing it up.) Slip 12 stitches to one of the other needles, then 12 from the other end to the third needle.

Knit 10 rounds in knit 2, purl 2 rib.

(Multicolor variation: switch to second color here.) Knit 2 rounds in stockinette. Since you’re working in the round, this is just knit all the way around, no purl in sight.

Knit 1, then place a stitch marker immediately after the stitch on your right needle. Increase 1, knit 1, place your second marker, increase 1 after the second marker. You should have three stitches between the markers. Knit the rest of the round, then 2 more straight rounds after it, slipping markers from left to right needle when you come to them but otherwise ignoring them like they’re the ex you see on the street.

On the next round, increase 1 right after the first marker and again right before the second marker. You’ll have 5 stitches between the markers. Knit two more rounds straight.

Repeat the previous step 4 more times; you should have 13 stitches between the two markers and two rounds since increasing.

Knit 1 stitch as if starting a new round, then take off the first marker. Slip the 13 stitches before the second marker to your stitch holder/jury-rigged needle. Knit the rest of the round. There should be 35 stitches total. Yes, there will seem to be a hole. Yes, you will close it up later. I promise. Don’t panic.

Knit 5 more rounds.

(Multicolor variation: switch back to your first color (or your third color? Or whatever) here.) Increase 1, so you’re back to 36 stitches. Knit 5 rounds in the same knit 2, purl 2 rib as you started with. (You should start with purling 2 right after the increase 1, since the increase becomes the knit 2.)

Bind of in the same rib if you want, or in knit if you don’t.

Remember those 13 stitches? Yeah, neither did I. Pick them back up onto one of your double-pointed 5 mm needles. Slip your 3 right stitches to one of the other needles, and your 6 left stitches to yet another. (There’ll be 4 stitches left on the middle needle.)

(Multicolor variation: use your first color (or whatever number you’re on).) Leaving a long tail (to sew holes closed with), increase 1, then continue in k2p2 rib as at the top of the gauntlet. You’ll end with knit 2 instead of purl 2. It’s fine. It’ll be on the inside of your thumb. Knit 5 rounds in the rib, then bind off, again, either in rib or knit, whichever root beers your float.

Use your yarn needle and the leftover tails to sew up the holes (and sew together the cuff if you waited a few rows like I did before joining it up).

Repeat the whole damn thing again to make your second gauntlet. (I know, I know: do this all again? What? I swear it’s easier the second time around.)

Bam. Pretty fingerless gloves, with plenty yarn left over to make some for your friends too. Go forth and be gauntleted.

[etraytin]

Quarantine, Day 64

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when it's Quarantine Day 64? 

It's May 14, for those of us who are still having a hard time keeping track of the days, which means we  are very close to halfway through yet another month. Since April ended sometime in the late Pleistocene Epoch, this is a pretty solid accomplishment, go us! It also marks two weeks of being here in North Carolina instead of home in Virginia. My balcony plants are either super dead or forming their own jungle ecology by now, no middle ground. I'm not even going to contemplate what the milk is doing, because it was already not new before I forgot to throw it away on May 1. Oops. 

One of my followers sent me a message today to say they liked my quarantine journal, which is very nice to hear! I have been journaling for an audience off and on since I started my Livejournal in 2001 (I am oooooooold), but Tumblr is not necessarily a natural home for diary blogging. Still, a lot of my internet friends live her, and it's comfortable, and at this point journaling is pretty much the only way I can make sense of what's happening from day to day and week to week. I wrote a few things down during the first couple weeks of quarantine, but it barely seemed real for awhile. My daily journaling began around Day 28 because I had a night where I could no longer smell or taste anything, and it turned out to be allergies but it scared the hell out of me. It suddenly occurred to me that not only would journaling be something interesting to look back on, but it might be a vital part of contact tracing for someone like me whose appointment calendar is written on her hand as often as not. I have not needed to use it for that, thankfully, but I have gotten to tell a lot of stories and work through a lot of stuff in my own brain. If it has entertained anyone else or made anyone else feel less alone, that's even better. 

Today was another tiring one. I spent a lot of time trying to learn a bunch of stuff about Medicare on the fly, plus line up consultations with an elder law attorney for my mother in law and fill out the questionnaires we need to have done in advance. Answering those questions is long and tedious, and it often involves unpleasant truths like spelling out every medical problem either of them have, and every potential financial liability. I got six pages into the thirteen page form and called it a day, because even getting that far had involved about two hours of research and signing up for various government and insurance web portals to dig up information. Blech. It's like registering for the bar exam all over again but with less questions on moral turpitude and more disclosures about gifts to grandchildren. (And I shouldn't complain, the bar exam application was closer to 40 pages.) 

Things with my mother in law did go better today. I feel like I complain about her all the time on here and it's not really fair because she's a great person and I love her a lot. If I didn't, I wouldn't get so upset if she's not taking care of herself! She and the kiddo had a good time today playing games and reading books, and she was able to get in for a very important medical procedure that she had skipped last month because she had nobody to drive her. Today she got that procedure and as a bonus it meant keeping her leg propped up for hours, so overall it was great and there were no new falls. We also had to sit for quite awhile to do the questionnaire stuff, so that was one side benefit of me banging my head against the metaphorical wall for a few hours. Now that she's sleeping and eating more, she just has a lot more energy, and that's a good and bad thing when she's supposed to take it easy. 

Dinner was good today too, my husband decided to make a picnic for the balcony and did up roasted breaded chicken, biscuits with hot honey butter, and spicy potato-bean hash. It sound weird, but it was all very tasty, and the weather today was amazing. It's been very cold all week, but now it really feels springy and perfect. The table umbrella was not working, but I managed to jury-rig it with a bungee cord. Now it won't close but it stays open quite nicely, which beats the opposite. I'm also trying to drink more water, because the air here is super dry and I'm eating a lot of salty food, but results are mixed so far. I need at least another couple cups before bed. 

Had another post-bedtime conversation with the kiddo just a few minutes ago, one of the hardest ones yet. He was very sad because he said things are not getting any better, only worse. After teasing that out for a couple of minutes, we dug down to him being very sad about the fact that his Papa is sick and not getting any better, and that he wants to visit him, but it's also horrible because Papa not only doesn't remember their previous visits from day to day, he doesn't always remember the kiddo right away at this point. And fuck, I didn't know what to say at all to that. He cried, and I cried right along with him, and told him that he was right, it's horrible and unfair that this should happen to anybody, but especially to Papa, who has always been so clever and had such good stories. In a lot of our bedtime conversations I can remind him of good things that are happening or things to look forward to, but there is no reason to assume that anything is going to get better in this situation, and every reason to believe that they will be worse soon. 

In this case, I figured it was best just to level with him, even though he's only ten. I told him that I remembered having to do this with my grandmother, and that was terrible and sad, and it felt like losing her in tiny pieces. It hurts, and it will hurt to lose Papa, and it's okay if he needs to cry or needs to not go on a visit or needs to talk about it with me or Daddy. But I also told him that I believe that my grandma is in heaven now, and that she doesn't forget anymore, and she's not hurting or confused, and that one day we are going to have so much to talk about, and that helps me to feel better. And I reminded him that for Papa, every moment with him is important because every moment he is living in is the one he remembers best. So when seeing the kiddo makes him happy, he is very, very happy and he doesn't remember feeling sad or scared or angry, even if he was just yelling a minute ago. We can still give Papa lots of good moments, because we love him. 

After that, we had to go fix ourselves up because we were both extremely snotty and gross, which gave us the opportunity to make stupid jokes about whether we should waste the extremely valuable toilet paper and whether a Kleenex over one's face counts as appropriate masking. There is definitely something to be said for the period of cathartic humor after a difficult talk. To further that, we went and had some cocoa even though it was already after ten, and I let him have marshmallows and whipped cream. Carbs and sugar, hell yes! It's good for what ails you. Then we watched Micarah Tewers again because silly seamstresses is what makes us both happy these days, and by then he was feeling okay to go to bed again. 

He's sleeping now, and I think he's doing all right. He said he likes talking to me like this, and I'm glad. I like talking to him too, though it is a continuing revelation to me the kind of complex inner life he has going on. I mean of course I understand that he is a real person, but internalizing the fact that he has somehow gone from being the extremely demanding wet bag of flour I brought home from the hospital ten years ago to a full-fledged self-determining individual whose thoughts and insights amaze and baffle me is an ongoing process. (He was an extremely cute bag of flour, don't get me wrong, but I swear to god, raising kids is sometimes like suddenly realizing your adorable baby kitten now has opinions on politics and wants you to defend your positions on moral virtue.)

Anyway, it's time for me to get to bed as well, because the only Walmart pickup slot I could get on Monday was for Friday at 7am. At least they're unlikely to be running behind during the first slot of the day, I guess? It's funny because I also made a Walmart pickup order for when I get back to Virginia, and they were offering me same day pickup. It seems like they may be a little bit more back to normal than we are here. I may have to check and see if they have toilet paper and yeast and everything. That would be awesome.