#either as a continuation of the scene or a new encounter with the same villain

[radarsteddybear]

Whumptober Progress: 6/31 prompts filled.

Except I accidentally covered prompts 18 and 4 as one prompts (for 18), so I need to figure out the easiest way to split them up.

[laundrybiscuits]

Hah, thanks @beansthekid for giving me a chance to ramble a bit more!

I think there are many different and equally valid ways to interpret Eddie’s relationship with the Corroded Coffin crew; we really do not get very much canon material at all, which means it’s all very open to interpretation. However, I personally tend to read them as friendly acquaintances more than friends, because Eddie doesn't seem to treat them with any true closeness.

In the few scenes they share, Eddie sort of treats them like undifferentiated sidekicks/minions/audience. He seems basically fond of them, and I don't think his attitude comes from any sort of disrespect or dislike. Rather, I think it’s more about Eddie’s own comfort level: in general, I read Eddie as very skittish about relationships. He likes to keep people at a certain remove, and he likes to be in control of that distance.

We don't see him confiding in anyone or being intentionally vulnerable...right up until Steve and "guess I got a little jealous." Even with Chrissy, though he was definitely trying to present himself as friendly and harmless, he was absolutely putting on a little performance the entire time. He was taking on an entertainer role. He's willing to be seen as ridiculous, because that's the class-clown side of him, but it's not the same thing as letting down his guard. People laughing at him for his antics can't hurt him, at this point. Admitting he's fond enough of Dustin to make that a weakness, and being honest about feeling inadequate—that is vulnerability.

I do think it's plausible that that little jealousy confession was prompted in part by guilt over the whole broken-bottle thing. To be clear, I don't think Eddie's boatshed reaction was wildly out of line; at that point, he had zero information/context that would lead him to conclude that anyone out looking for him was on his side, much less Steve Harrington.

He was also scared out of his mind and literally shaking with adrenaline and fear, but he still didn’t actually hurt anyone. He could have shanked Steve and made a run for it, but I read him as someone who fundamentally does not want to hurt or scare people for real. He wants to make them uncomfortable, sure—or at the very least he doesn’t really care if they’re made uncomfortable by how he looks and acts. But actually being the villain of a story? That doesn’t fit with his values or his self-image.

So it would make sense if afterwards, he felt an outsized and misplaced sense of guilt about that little encounter, and let that spur him to offer up a little bit of honesty. It’s an intimacy he doesn’t extend to anyone else in the entire show.

I mean—hell, I am fully fixated on this little exchange:

Nancy: Hey, it’s Nancy.

Eddie: Wheeler, hey!

It would be way, way more natural to mirror her intro and call her Nancy, but instead he does this weird surname thing (and continues to call her by her surname) despite the fact that he already knows another Wheeler who is presumably also potentially tuned in. Why on earth would he do this. There are so many siblings in the group. The only way I can make sense of it is as a distancing mechanism that he leans on.

By the end, he does start addressing some people by their first names, some of the time. I haven’t done a full accounting, but I’m pretty sure it’s mostly just Dustin and Steve (not counting the “this is for you, Chrissy” moment).

But back to the Corroded Coffin lads: the biggest tell, for me, is that they had band practice without him. They knew he was missing, and either they knew he’d be a suspect/in trouble or they didn’t know him well enough to recognize his trailer on the news. They’re just kids, so it’s fairly reasonable that they wouldn’t be trying to take any action to find/help Eddie, but it seems unbearably callous that they’d just be having a normal band practice. I still don’t really know how to fold that into my understanding of their dynamics, but one possible interpretation is that they aren’t used to thinking of him as someone who ever really gets hurt, so they figure it’ll all just blow over somehow.

Eddie’s obviously taken on a leadership position in their little group. He’s the DM, he runs the show. But we don’t have a sense that he’s got a second-in-command or a trusted advisor that he confides in, much less someone he sees as a true peer in a give-and-take way.

Again, I don’t think any of this means he doesn’t like the Corroded Coffin boys. On the contrary, I think he probably cares about them very much in the same way he loves Dustin. My read on Eddie is that he sees himself as a protector who is in some way responsible for them and their well-being, cultivating an interdependent community that he doesn’t really get to partake in. His sense of self-worth lies in his ability to be a shield, standing between his lost little sheep and the wolves of Hawkins. He draws fire and takes the hits, and that’s a very lonely position to be in.

And then…Steve Harrington.

[balanceoflightanddark]

Read your fic and I have to say you make a pretty good morally gray Godzilla, like it's a tough concept to nail down and you managed to hit it right on the head

Thanks for enjoying my fic. And sorry if updates have been a little slow. I was just on vacation in Michigan and I've been busy with work. Hopefully I can get back in the flow of things in the days to come.

Anyways, when it comes to a morally grey Godzilla, you have to understand that he's been around for decades. Naturally that means that as different writers and directors come and go, naturally they're going to have different interpretations of the character. That includes morality. Hell, just this year we've had one of the most malevolent Godzillas in Godzilla: Minus One, and the more heroic character from Godzilla X Kong: A New Empire. Trying to write a version of Godzilla that pays tribute to all his outings AND fits within the narrative of Avatar: The Last Airbender is naturally going to be a daunting challenge.

What made it a bit easier for me is that Godzilla, at his core, isn't exactly a character you can hate. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's still a destructive monster that can kill millions. But he didn't exactly ask to be a giant radioactive monster to begin with. Hell, it's right there in the first movie. While Godzilla goes on deliberate rampages, we also see him resting peacefully in Tokyo Bay. And his death isn't exactly treated as triumphant either. I think even the cast cried a little at his death scene if I remember correctly.

It helps that even at his worst, it's still kind of difficult to hate Godzilla. It's implied in GMK that he's being possessed by a million souls who are rightfully angry at being forgotten by the Japanese who killed them in World War II. Shin Godzilla was essentially one big walking cancer who's whole existence was hell. Even Godzilla from Minus One was a territorial dinosaur initially, and we do see a brief shot of his very painful transformation into the kaiju we all know.

At the same time though, he's still a giant monster that repeatedly attacks people. Like it or not, there has to be some kind of response lest he continues to go on a rampage. So at his core, we do have that grey morality going on. Which is highlighted in later films that I'll discuss in a minute.

For my portrayal of Godzilla, I wanted to find that sweet spot between heroic and villainous. Not entirely evil, but not entirely good either. More like a force of nature who'd rather be left alone than anything else. While I am aiming for a more heroic take on him as the story goes on, I don't want to stray away from this either.

Besides, I felt a morally gray Godzilla would work for a post-war canon like I have here. Basically one big consequence of the Fire Nation's rampant warmongering that's going to cause problems for them again and again if they continue to be imperialistic. He works as a foil for Aang in that way. Aang advocates for peace and understanding, working on reforming the Fire Nation. Godzilla works as a big reminder for why the Fire Nation must give up their ways lest they basically self-destruct. Considering that one of Godzilla's core themes is the unintended consequence of rampant warfare and disregard for life, this does fit in nicely with the anti-war and anti-imperialistic tones of ATLA.

There's two films in this regard I want to highlight. The first being Godzilla vs King Ghidorah, which is essentially Godzilla's origin story for the Hesei series. The film makes it clear under no uncertain terms that Godzilla was initially peaceful and merely territorial before Imperial Japan brought war to his island and left him mortally wounded. Not only that, but the local Japanese Commander left him for dead (not out of malice mind you) and he later got mutated by nuclear weapon usage. Leaving him a hate filled monster. Even still, there is a moment of poignance where Godzilla encounters the Japanese Commander again in the present day (who is now a successful businessman) where he remembers that painful day and roars in agony right before killing the one who turned him into what he is. Even if he's the bad guy, it's really difficult to blame him for being what he is since he didn't have a choice in the matter.

The other film is Godzilla vs MechaGodzilla II. Again, Godzilla is an antagonistic force who goes on a rampage. This time though, it's because humans had unknowingly taken a young member of his species. And interestingly, he backs off when he senses his "son" is in danger from his rampage. The problem comes more from the humans in the second half, when they intentionally use the infant as bait for them to lure Godzilla into a trap. Aside from being reckless enough to risk another rampaging Godzilla just to get a shot at him (even though the chosen area is an uninhabited island), they're trying to kill him even when he's not an immediate threat. He wasn't even making his way towards Japan BEFORE they risked his "son's" life. So again, hard to blame him for wrecking Super MechaGodzilla.

These are the films I based a lot of Godzilla's morality on for my fic. He's certainly a threat, but often it's because of a consequence of somebody else's machinations. And while he's going to be in a more "heroic" light in the coming arcs, the damage and danger he causes just by showing up isn't going to go away.

[theworldbrewery]

over our last two sessions, I ran something a little different. Our cleric, Oggie, has a (complicated) relationship with this NPC, Elliot. Elliot is a gay half-elf man whose father is a politician and diplomat; Elliot’s father has decided that since Elliot has a criminal record (he was framed for treason) the best way to ensure he is provided for is to marry him off to another political family, neatly tucking him away where he can’t cause a scandal.

Now, his father isn’t too interested in Elliot’s desire for romance or attraction, so he’s arranged a marriage with a young woman from a prominent elven family. The party quickly decided that this cannot stand. They agreed to attend the wedding in order to prevent it from happening.

Upon arrival at the venue, however, a few key things were going to pop off. First, it turns out Oggie’s estranged family lives in the town. Second, the whole region is deeply haunted and extremely sinister. Third, messing up the bride’s life was a non-option, because when I introduced the character of the bride, a friend of ours came out of the bedroom where I’d stashed them and introduced themself as Gloria, the bride herself (an air genasi monk in a family of elves, another outsider).

this was already clearly a rousing success, but we still had to get through the wedding, and I had to run it in a way that felt dynamic and tense. People go from room to room and building to building, indoors and outdoors and making visits to the village. It’s the day of a wedding!

So I developed a method for running the Day of the Wedding, and I’m sharing it with you for any extended roleplay and intrigue encounters you want to tangle up in plot threads.

First things first: run it like a combat.

What I mean by that is when the party woke up on the day of the wedding, I asked them all to roll for initiative. Instead of a round taking six seconds, each round lasted one hour, enough time for a movement (go to 2 areas near one another or 1 place that’s a bit further away), an action (a primary roleplay scene or investigation), and a bonus action (a conversation with a fellow player character, a quick search of an area, etc.). As the DM, use your discretion to decide what constitutes a suitable bonus action vs action.

Now, unlike combat, this type of encounter should permit player characters to team up and act together. When a PC that is high in initiative order decides to do something, other PCs that rolled lower can opt to join them if they want to act in the same location or engage with the same NPCs. (This is a great option to keep the action moving and lets players work together more.)

In order to keep this situation rolling, I prepared a few key notes. I focused on regional effects; that is, the overall culture and vibe of the area. I decided early on that the region is haunted, and that the locals are suspicious, superstitious, and obsessed with cleanliness. These features are tied into the overall plot conflicts that would develop over time. I also chose to include the effects of the Haunted table from Tasha’s Cauldron to add some spiciness to my haunting. In essence, think of the tensions the NPCs in the region are already experiencing prior to the party getting involved. A recent assassination might make a court intrigue more complicated as they now distrust strangers, for instance, while a new trade war over tariffs can complicate a diplomatic mission.

Next, I considered my locations. In this instance, my locations included the inn where the party slept, various rooms in the manor house hosting the wedding, a handful of outdoor areas, and the chapel. I focused on creating detailed descriptions of the ambiance for each location.

Then, I wrote out a quick description of each major NPC - in this case, the wedding party, the family of the intended, and a few locals and guests. In a roleplay/intrigue scenario like this, it’s vital to include motivations, secrets, and goals for each of these NPCs, even if those goals are very simple. You’ll need them for the last step:

Create a round-by-round timeline. Write out your list of locations and pair them with the NPCs that will be there during each round (hour). In my notes, I added what the NPC was doing there or what they were thinking about--linking their motivation to their location. For example, a character in the garden was leaving an early-morning meeting with her lover, the new gardener, while the fathers of the bride and groom met in the library to discuss the cover-up they had just pulled off (a politician and wedding guest had died mysteriously at midnight, and to keep the wedding from being derailed, they had hidden the body and were intimidating the only witness).

Party members who arrived at each location were therefore entering existing scenes they didn’t have full context for. Each hour, the NPCs would move on to the next phase of their day, seek out other NPCs to interact with, etc. NPCs could still be influenced by the party’s actions, so each round you might adjust exactly what they’re doing or where they’ve gone--the beauty of improv!

Keep in mind that situations should still be developing when the party isn’t witnessing them. An NPC no one had spoken to yet turned out to have spent the morning searching for her missing father, which led the party to the gravesite that they’d spotted earlier in the game, while the gardener turned out to be a villain they’d met before who was acting in secret during the session! Use your best judgment, though. Just because you wrote content for an NPC doesn’t mean the party will engage with it, so follow their lead; sprinkle the clues, and then let the party’s focus drive which storylines get developed.

So long as every NPC has a goal or secret to influence their opinions and decisions, they will feel like nuanced actors within the roleplay scenario; the timeline you lay out in advance gives them a sort of “Artificial Intelligence” that can be influenced by the player’s actions.

Personally, I also recommend setting a natural deadline for the party. If my players didn’t stop the wedding by 1pm, for instance, the ceremony would go forward and they would either be forced to object in public or let the marriage take place. Thus, they only had 5 total “rounds” to disrupt things enough that the wedding would be called off.

You can create similar deadlines depending on the central goal of the party. A vote on whether to pass a controversial law could serve as one for a court intrigue arc, while a crime-solving arc might have a threatened time when a kidnapping victim will be murdered (”You have 24 hours to deliver the ransom”, for example). The sense of a ticking time-bomb gives the players a much-needed urgency. The round-by-round timeline also helps to ensure that you won’t have to continue prepping rounds ad infinitum; instead, you need only prepare up until shit pops off and the deadline is reached.

You may find you won’t reach the deadline, though. In this arc, the party discovered the corpse of a major politician who had died in the night and was secretly buried by the gardener. They used the cover-up as leverage to blackmail the parents of the bride and groom into calling off the marriage, which was helped along by the ranger revealing that Elliot’s father was concealing Elliot’s criminal record to keep the marriage arrangement intact. They managed to prevent the wedding with an hour to spare.

However, as Alice the sorcerer went downstairs to announce the cancellation, she spotted a person who looked just like her weaving through the crowd to leave the manor. She followed, and discovered that she was tracking the semi-villainous NPC who had crossed paths with the party a few times before, disguised as Alice. The NPC, Florian, had been playing the role of the gardener, and blackmailed the bride’s father into giving up a precious family heirloom in exchange for concealing the body; now that the cover-up has been revealed, they’re getting out of Dodge with their prize. This revelation serves as the plot hook for the next dungeon!

[zhuhongs]

Since rewatching the guardian drama after reading the novel has made me mad about how bad and good both of them are I am Obligated to write out a list of what I think the perfect merger btw both versions of canon are. This will be in list format otherwise I’ll end up writing like 6k words again. 

TLDR: the genre stays as supernatural from the novel and not Sci fi, bc that was rlly not fleshed out well. Shen Wei is a ghost king, and all the dixingren are ghosts or demons like originally intended. The ghost race naturally exists and wasn't born from kunluns shoulder fire or anything. They just exist separate from humans. Not all ghosts are former humans, some people are just born as ghosts, like Shen Wei. Zhao Yunlan has the guardian whip and all the cool stuff that comes with the Guardian order.  Overall, i’d keep the novel’s plot and relationship progression and ending without the backstory. Instead the backstory is a merger of both canons. From the drama I’d keep the characterization and themes as well as like half the extra cases and omit the other half. 

I’ll be elaborating much further on my ideal backstory and other stuff under the cut bc the rest is 1.5k and I don’t wanna clog the dash 

Okay SO In my ideal backstory there are two timelines just like the drama but the mythology of the book. The god Kunlun is actually zyl that went back in time and became a god. But the one that went back isn’t the current Zhao Yunlan. There has to be an original timeline where the god Kunlun never existed. Thus the great seal nor the separation of the three realms don’t exist either. Zhao Yunlan must go back in time to become a god, meet Shen Wei in the past, and create the current timeline where the separation exists but isn’t perfect. The current timeline is the one that the majority of the series takes place in.

In the original timeline, Zhao Yunlan is just some dude living in a world where ghosts, fairies, and all other beings just live in a giant free for all and it's kinda just a mess. 

Like there’s government in modern context and all and all races live with each other but there's constant tension. ZYL works at some equivalent of the SID (same staff and side characters, but novel vers. Lin Jing is a monk, CSZ a zombie, etc) to protect people and all that and their job is rather hard. One day encounters the thousands year old ghost king Wei (who isnt shen wei yet bc zyl gave him that name in the future) who works alone as like a rouge cultivator of sorts. He lives on the surface undercover as a professor still bc he’s trying to not catch Yezun’s attention but does all the stuff he normally does as Heipaoshi. The two ally together for a case and bc they both have the same goals of getting all races to live in peace. At current, there are forces working together to decimate the human race, all lead by Yezun

As they work together they become closer and all that. Shen Wei tells him about how he was unable to prevent the great war 5 thousand years ago and neither could the gods so  he’s spent the past 5 thousand years trying to make up for it. As they search for ways to stop Yezun, they gather the 4 hallows and learn how to use them to manipulate time so ZYL can go into the past and stop the great war and separate the three realms (living, dead, ghost).  Shen Wei wants to go back with him but he can’t because he was alive all those years ago so if he goes back it will create a paradox. ZYL promises he’ll find Shen Wei in the past and create a timeline where they could be together in peace (that is the current timeline)

When goes back he becomes the god kunlun because there needed to be a new god born at the time to prevent the war.  Also this time traveller looked promising to Nuwa, Fuxi, and Shennong. And I know in the guardian universe gods are usually born and ppl don’t become gods. EXCEPT this can happen when a god passes on smth from their body onto them bc that did happen in the novel with Kunlun making shen wei a demigod. And since fu you and ma gui are supposed to be gods Nu Wa and Fuxi I think that when they die, they should make ZYL a god and that's how this stuff happens.

So like ZYL explains to the gods the time he came from and how he wants to save everything and they make him a god and he works to save everything just like he did in the drama but this time with the novel plotline. During this time he meets young Shen Wei (he’s still like a hundred or so years old) and they get close and all the stuff from the backstory happens. He gives him his name, all that good stuff. The entire time doesn’t let him know that he’s from the future or that his real name is ZYL. He just poses as kunlun. 

The two of them alongside the other gods (who still die at the times they do in the novel) work together to end the war and establish the great seal and set up the cycle of reincarnation, per the current timeline. Although the seal and cycle of reincarnation aren’t perfect. Gods can’t reincarnate, and ghosts still don’t have souls. And just like the novel, doing all of this kills ZYL bc it takes a lot of energy to create the seal even though it isn’t perfect.

Shen Wei of course doesn’t want ZYL to die and zyl says it's alright because he fixed the timeline so there must One day they will meet again and ZYL reveals the truth about the timeline to shen wei before he dies. This becomes the promise that Shen Wei mentions to meet again. Before he dies, ZYL gives him the shoulder fire as a memento ( i still like the candy wrapper necklace deal but i’ll take this too. Maybe both.. The pendant is still just rlly cool.. Gay ppl)

Shen Wei knows gods can’t enter the cycle of reincarnation and still makes the deal with Shennong to strip Kunlun of his godhood and let him reincarnate. This sets us into the novel timeline where isn’t allowed to meet any of zyl’s reincarnations before he becomes zyl otherwise he will die and also fuck up the timeline. The same 5 thousand years of pining still ensue bc Gay Ppl and i love making Shen Wei suffer but he doesn’t have the shrine room thing bc i think thats weird and yea.. Bad. 

In the meantime Shen Wei does a lot of things mostly just protecting the great seal and working for Hell to keep the peace but still does other stuff. He still watches out for ZYL’s reincarnations but doesn’t do much besides make sure they don’t die a premature death. They meet again finally at the beginning of the series and the timeline resumes like canon. And that's my master plan that merges both drama logic and novel logic while making a much better timeline. (I hope that makes some sense)

Da Qing is still Kunlun’s pet cat and important. Novel backstory applies to him. And I already mentioned him kinda but as for Yezun (Gui Mian in the novel) his deal is similar as in the drama but just a ghost. And he is a big player in the great war, he thought Shen Wei abandoned him as a kid but they were just separated. Shen Wei doesn’t know it's him till the end of the war and couldn’t stop him in the OG timeline and vows to bring him to justice and make amends. Shen Wei continuously tries to explain things to him but he just won’t listen and is imprisoned in hell bc yk… war criminal stuff and yeah he’s the main antagonist trying to break the great seal bc he’s still made about the past. Idk. Yezun wasn’t well written in the novel OR the drama so like… honestly he just needs to be completely rewritten and I don’t care enough about that. He can just be a weak villain idk

the drama characterization stays the same for everyone else bc found family go brr. However for Lao Chu i… hmm… i think he should still be a zombie but the reason he killed someone should be related to his brother. I like that addition and then shen wei realized his sentence was unjust and exempted him. i like that storyline merger. bc the brother thing and him admiring Heipaoshi was drama only. in the novel lao chu just murdered some kid for a rlly whatever reason.

uhhh in terms of the cases… id make adjustments to most of them. i think the li qian case should be like the drama bc the novel just had her as a murderer and it was boring. 

For the mountain river awl one was fine… novel version was funnier and more interesting action wise tbh… rip zyl and his exorbitant flirting. uhhh the whole reveal that shen wei was the soul reaper thing was kinda… ehh in the novel but i did love the comedy of afterwards Shen Wei pretending he went into cardiac arrest when he actually just… has no pulse bc he's a ghost. 

ID KEEP THE WORTH IT SCENE AND RAIN SCENE… THOSE FUCK SO HARD… I love the drama for adding those every damn day. the novel version of zyl losing his sight sucked and was sooo boring.  Keep the drama version on that.

also id keep dr. cheng. i'm very pro dr. cheng and her friendship with shen wei it adds so much to his character imo. keep the fruit seller man and his wife for the merit brush..omg it adds SO MUCH the way the drama did it.. like the drams build up with the novels pace of that arc.. mwah. it felt like it dragged a bit in the drama but if it went faster and without the hospital ep and with sha ya (sorry sha ya) that would've been so good. tho keep novel version of da qings memory loss and lao li. that was rlly impactful.

id say keep some of the cases like the mirror one, the eyes doctor one, etc. just to like.. yk have more to fill in general.. novel pacing but drama characterization without the bs that wasn't fully realized. and novel ending ofc. And that’s it!!

I hope most of this makes some amount of sense  but it probably doesn’t. In my head it all tracks but like ik most of u don’t know anything about the novel so this sounds like gibberish. Also I know this would literally never happen but this is MY ideal merger of the two canons that I feel compelled to expand on for some reason. Anyways, as io said,, we need to rebuild guardian. Like literally let me and the mutuals write Guardian and it will be 500 times better.

[sleepymarmot]

Opinion: MAG 187 doesn’t invalidate Helen’s more sympathetic moments

It is possible to interpret the episode as retconning everything the Distortion has ever said and done into a manipulation targeted at Jon, which would undo the character’s complexity and make them revolve entirely around the protagonist. The key for this interpretation seems to lie in the following exchange: 

ARCHIVIST You worked to hurt us and help us, all with the same smile, until we can barely tell one from the other. Keeping us off-balance, constantly second-guessing our own opinions of you. Never quite crossing a line we could never forgive, but never putting yourself on the line either. And when one face finally stopped smiling, you just changed the face.

HELEN Fine. So if that’s all true… why? Why would I do any of that? What’s my actual motive?

ARCHIVIST I don’t think you even have one. It’s just what you are.

But I don’t think most of what was said here is new information.

Let’s go back to season 3. Here’s how the newborn Helen Distortion explains her identity:

HELEN Michael isn’t me. Not now.

ARCHIVIST What happened?

HELEN He got… distracted. Let feelings that shouldn’t have been his overwhelm me. Lost my way.

In other words, the Distortion’s modus operandi is a long, long game of cat and mouse (see also: MAG 146 Threshold). Michael got sidetracked by his (or Michael Shelley’s) revenge against the Archivist(s) and decided to actually kill the mouse. But it was unnatural for the Distortion, so it shook off the troublesome identity, and Helen was both an instrument to get rid of Michael and a continuation of what was started by him and worked so well.

ARCHIVIST A-are you still going to kill me?

HELEN No. That was Michael’s desire, not mine.

The Distortion doesn’t want to send the Archivist into its corridors. Why would it, when it’s so rewarding to misdirect and mess with him in other ways?

Now, for episode 115.

HELEN I… I’m not… I’m not entirely sure. I’m… having trouble. I don’t think I was meant to be Helen.

ARCHIVIST I’m – I don’t understand.

HELEN Neither do I. Michael was… pulling away. His anger was interfering. I don’t, I don’t think I have a choice but to be Helen. Self is difficult.

ARCHIVIST Michael, he, uh, he, he wasn’t meant to be you either, though, was he?

HELEN No.

There’s an internal conflict between Helen and the Distortion -- just like there was between Michael and the Distortion. I don’t think the new episode invalidates or undoes that. On the contrary: it restated that Michael strayed from the Distortion’s purpose, which means Helen could have done the same.

HELEN Something happened when I became ‘Helen’. She wasn’t right, she wasn’t ready.

ARCHIVIST I don’t…

HELEN Before, talking to you made Helen feel better.

ARCHIVIST You’re not that Helen!

HELEN I just want… I just want to feel better.

Helen was supposed to be a meal that replenished the Distortion’s energy. But it seems that the food was not as fully digested as the Distortion would prefer, and tried to bite back.

ARCHIVIST Wh-what? Why should I believe… a-a-any of this? You’ve told me over and over that you’re… what was the phrase? The ‘throat of delusion’? All of this is –

HELEN I have never told you a lie, Archivist. I wouldn’t dare. I, I just thought you might understand.

ARCHIVIST Uh… How could I possibly…

HELEN We’re both changing, Archivist. I had hoped, that together –

The Distortion has never lied (and now we know why). The Distortion has truly changed. Its new face genuinely wanted Jon’s company, just like the previous face had wanted him dead. But both faces interact with Jon in a way that leaves him confused and upset, because such is their nature.

In MAG 131, Helen insists that her identity is not a mask but a new but inseparable part of herself. As we now know, she is not lying: 

ARCHIVIST

You’re still wearing her face.

HELEN

Not this again. I’m not “wearing” anything, Archivist. I am at least as much ‘Helen Richardson’ as you are the ‘Jonathan Sims’ that first joined this Institute. Things change. People change. It happens.

We get a double confirmation that Helen is different from the Distortion’s previous incarnations in MAG 146, in the words of both Helen and her victim:

This wasn’t like before; there was no playfulness here, none of that malicious joy that I had always felt coming off it. Now there was just a cold hunger, a deep anger, as though I had no right to just stand there looking at it. The street was silent, but I could feel it screaming at me to open it.

HELEN (all business) Oh, well; the son, I was pursuing long before I was even Michael. And technically, I didn’t eat the old man. He passed away from terror long before I got a chance to open properly.

ARCHIVIST His son Marcus – he – he was fine when I read his father’s statement two years ago, but now, suddenly, I can’t get through to him.

HELEN No. I imagine not. I decided it was time to finish that game a few months ago.

ARCHIVIST You – Why?

HELEN Not sure. I suppose Helen didn’t have quite the same attachment to him as a project. I’m not quite as much for decades-long campaigns of subtle terror these days.

ARCHIVIST (soft) That’s horrible.

HELEN Is it? We do what we need to do when it comes to feeding, don’t we? (pointed) Don’t we, Archivist?

Helen Distortion doesn’t derive joy from terrorizing people for months or years with doors. That’s just food now. Now she gets the same joy from messing with people with the help of her humanlike appearance and personality.

An often-quoted line from MAG 152:

HELEN Even if it were capable of doing so, what possible reason would the Eye have to change how you feel, when it makes no difference to your actions? Helen was like you, at first. She felt such guilt over taking people. Until one day she realized she wasn’t going to stop doing it. So she chose to stop feeling guilty.

Again, the new episode confirms two things: 1) Helen wasn’t lying. 2) Helen was telling this to Jon to make him doubt his loyalties. And again, this is not new information! She laughs at his misery and confusion very openly!

Episode 157. Jon gets a shocking reminder that Helen is Just Here To Troll:

HELEN Because I have a good enough sense of what’s going on to know that it will be much more fun without my involvement! (begins laughing)

...

ARCHIVIST Just tell me what’s going on. Please.

HELEN (gleefully) Bad things, Archivist. Really bad things.

MAG 164, Helen’s first appearance in s5. There’s so much going on, let’s try to list at least some of it: she congratulates jonmartin on their relationship, immediately tries to play them against each other, cheerfully deflects all blame onto Jon and also Georgie and Melanie, admits to betrayal, announces she wants to be friends “again”, then expresses pity that Jon isn’t hostile to her enough. Absolutely everything she does is about creating relationship chaos.

MAG 166, second encounter with Helen post-Change, and she is delighted to see disagreement between Jon and Martin unprompted by her:

MARTIN Yeah, I, I, I think we should go for it, get our murder on!

ARCHIVIST (disbelief) Sorry, what?

HELEN (surprised delight) Yes, Martin!

In MAG 177, she moves the focus of ridiculously blatant manipulation and provocation onto Basira, and also doesn’t bother to hide she enjoys scaring her “friends”:

HELEN Not interrupting anything, Am I?

MARTIN Christ, Helen, you scared the life out of me.

HELEN [Insincere] Sorry, darling.

And finally, MAG 183. By now, everyone in the scene is aware that she’s here just to get a rise out of our heroes and metaphorically eat popcorn.

MARTIN Look. Listen, I’m getting really sick of all thi–

ARCHIVIST Leave it, Martin. She’s just trying to get under your skin.

MARTIN Yeah? Well, she’s really good at it!

HELEN Aww. Thanks, sweetie. But to be honest, I’m mainly just here to see which path you choose.

Which brings us to MAG 187. We already know that Helen isn’t Jon and Martin’s “friend” as in “ally” -- she hangs out with them to provoke strong responses and sow chaos. The plot twist is that she’s not just doing it for fun, like a human would -- it is her way of avatar feeding.

The Distortion has always been a trickster. I am glad that they died this way, instead of becoming either an over-the-top villain or a reluctant hero -- before the plot could corner them into becoming one. And as Jon said, the reason Helen had to die was not her trickster nature, but the side she picked on the “Eyepocalipse: keep or cancel?” issue. 

The reveal in 187 does not contradict the information we had before, and so it doesn’t retcon or undo the complexity or character development that the Distortion had. The fact that the Distortion fed on Jon (and others’) reaction to them does not mean that they never had any motivations or thoughts beyond that. Jon says it himself: “keeping us off-balance” is not the Distortion’s motivation, it’s “who they are”, it’s the natural, instinctive way they conduct themselves. We have learned that the Distortion's behavior was Eldritch Trolling instead of Regular Trolling, that's all.

[notallthosewho-wanderarelost]

Real quick scattering of thoughts on Loki 1x02 and x03 before I watch the newest episode. I watched them pretty much at the same time so it’s a two-for-one post. Here be spoilers for episode 3! On mobile so no cut again, sorry.

Spoilers ahead. You’ve been warned.

Okay. In no particular order but attempting to start with ep 2 first:

Loki trying to get info on the Timekeepers and the TVA in ep 2 and being blocked by the most bored archive librarian ever was hilarious. The whole sequence of him trying to get her attention only for her to completely ignore him until he rang the bell was creepy but so funny.

Loki’s reaction to getting the details on Ragnarok made me so sad. :( Same, Loki. SAME. I’m also still gutted Asgard was destroyed and I refuse to even watch the movie ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But him going to look at that in the first place made me wonder if maybe in the back of his mind Loki’s coming up with a plan to save Asgard? (Or at least, one version of Asgard in the multiverse.) I would love that. I want Asgard back in general and was hoping for Thor 4, but having Loki be the one to save Asgard would be SO fitting. He may be adopted but he’s still an Asgardian at heart, truly. Having Loki be the one to save Asgard would be a great way to show him finally acknowledging that and have all the Asgardians acknowledge it too.

We have an official population for MCU Asgard! 9719 people. That fits. It’s about twice the size of a pretty small suburban town. Asgard is SMALL. It just doesn’t have the space for a lot of people. It’s still a city, but Asgard the Realm has other things on it besides just the city, so it can’t have a huge population.

I wonder what the official population of New Asgard is when we see it in Endgame? And how many Asgardians come back post-Blip? This would really all depend on how many people made it through Hela’s rule and onto the ship during Ragnarok- and then half of them would’ve been killed by Thanos in the beginning of Infinity War. Would half of the remainder have been Snapped away at the end of IW, or would Thanos leave them out since he already halved their population? File under questions Marvel will probably never answer. Also file under “Thanos continues to be really bad at math.” (Should probably go look at the New Asgard sign again to check, but I don’t think it listed population.)

Loki annoying Mobius by messing with his salad was great. Loki annoying Mobius in general was great.

Loki letting the goats free in Pompeii made me think he might have a liking for goats, which means I now have a headcanon that Loki was friends with Thor’s goats as a kid and would sometimes let them loose to get their assistance with pranks. Thank you show, for cute kid Loki headcanons.

Tom Hiddleston probably had a BLAST yelling at people in Latin in character as Loki, and good for him!

Sylvie’s entrance sequence at the beginning of the episode with the fight scene vs the TVA set to “I Need a Hero” was amazing. I haven’t seen Shrek in a while but this might just reach the same levels of A+ “I Need A Hero” song usage as the Shrek sequence.

Speaking of the beginning of the episode, the Ren Faire setting was SO good. Great way to get laughs, and it made me want to go to a Ren Faire again.

The Roxxcart setting for the big encounter later in the episode made me flash back on all the times Roxxon’s appeared in the MCU. Two main thoughts: 1. I so want a Jane!Thor movie where the main villain is Dario Agger, evil Roxxon CEO and Minotaur. Preferably working with a better version of Malekith (from another universe probably) like in comics, because as much as I love Thor 2 my one complaint is that their version of Malekith was SO LAME. Especially compared to comics!Malekith. Plus an Agger + Malekith teamup would mean both the Nine Realms AND Earth are in danger, by definition. Thor 5 please, Marvel. 2. I really, really miss Cloak and Dagger and that show deserved so much better.

(Our) Loki’s perpetual insistence that he’s better and that the plot (pun intended) is about him is both funny and also a little sad- because he knows, or at least thinks, that if he stops insisting those things, everyone will stop paying any attention to him whatsoever. And he needs attention.

Poor Mobius probably felt so betrayed at the end of this episode. :(

Onward to episode 3!

This was by far my favorite episode so far. I LOVE Sylvie. I love her and Loki’s dynamic. I love that we get Loki talking to someone he considers an equal about some very personal things, and that Sylvie does the same thing with him. They understand each other in a way nobody else has. Because they’re the same person, sort of. I’ve taken to calling them “alternate reality twins” and that’s what I’ll keep calling them unless told otherwise.

They also annoy each other in a way nobody else can. And it’s hilarious. They look equally annoyed at the other not falling for their tricks and equally annoyed at needing the other’s help before they really start to bond and I LOVE ALL OF IT. I also feel like they adopt each other a lot quicker than either would be willing to admit, and then they’re annoyed at that! Loki yelling “you’re so weird!” at Sylvie made me go “OH they’re bickering like siblings!!!” and that was pretty early on! I’m an only child but that had peak sibling energy to me. Even them trying to trick and outdo each other had sibling energy most of the time.

Their earlier fight when they first get to Lamentis, before they realize where they are, had some VERY quality quips and also really had me wondering who would win in a fight between the two of them. Sylvie seems to have more physical strength, and she’s got a sword instead of daggers so longer reach, but Loki has skill and he has tricks. I think with his skill at magic (he can TELEPORT?! Probably only a few feet and probably limited by where he can see but that’s SO COOL!!! I don’t think we knew he could do that?!) Loki would likely run rings around Sylvie IF there were no people around for her to enchant. And assuming that she wasn’t able to set any traps beforehand, because Sylvie has proven well able to set traps to take down people who should be at a major advantage against her. Otherwise, I think Sylvie would win. She seems to have better physical training than our Loki, and if there were any people around for her to enchant he’d have to contend with them too. And if Sylvie could lay traps ahead of time, then it could go either way (you never can tell with a Loki, much less two) but I think Loki would probably lose. Loki is just as tricky as she is but that seems to be something she’s had a lot of practice in. Loki is more about confusing opponents with illusions and duplicates and talking his way around people. Sylvie sets traps instead, and is more comfortable/better at using brute physical force.

Speaking of enchanting, me while watching episode 2: “Hey, these mind controlling powers remind me of Enchantress’ powers!”

Sylvie in episode 3: calls her powers “enchanting”

Me: “OH.”

So Sylvie seems to be a composite of 3 characters. 1. Lady Loki, as in Loki when identifying as female. (There’s also that time from before they said Loki was genderfluid and a shapeshifter and back when Loki was still evil when he possessed Sif’s body and went by Lady Loki, but we don’t talk about that.) 2. Amora the Enchantress, a major Thor character/villain who uses magic to “enchant” people into doing what she wants-yes this is definitely a cringey “magically enchants people into loving her, consent-issues-out-the-wazoo” evil seductress stereotype in old comics, but it’s gotten better recently. And 3. Sylvie Lushton, the much lesser-known second Enchantress, who was a regular teenage human girl when after a Ragnarok (don’t remember which one, there have been multiple but this would’ve been early 2000s) Loki for shits and giggles decided to make her think she was Amora and give her the powers to match. She was on the Dark Reign-era (aka when Norman Osborn was in charge of SHIELD and the Avengers) version of the Young Avengers, the Young Masters of Evil, and that’s where I know her from. She’s a great character- she genuinely wants to do good and help people, but her brain is a bit messed up by the number Loki did on it, so she gets confused. I believe she’s currently in comic book limbo after Amora found out about her a while back, got pissed at her for stealing her name and her whole Thing, and tossed her somewhere dangerous on the World Tree while saying something about how if she can survive it then she’ll prove she deserves the name Enchantress. She sadly hasn’t been seen since as far as I know.

So each of those characters have similar characteristics with Loki’s Sylvie. Sylvie 1. Is a Loki who is female (Lady Loki), 2. Was presumably raised on Asgard and uses her magic to “enchant” people via a form of mind control into doing what she wants (Amora the Enchantress), 3. Is named Sylvie (Sylvie Lushton, Encanhtress II). Also worth noting that both Amora and Sylvie Lushton have blond hair, and so does the MCU’s Sylvie. All three characters also have green colored magic!

May turn the above bullets into their own post just for informational purposes. Also, when we said we wanted Enchantress in the MCU, this is not what we meant. Stop with the Monkey’s Paw-style wish granting, Marvel! (Looking at you, X-Men comics’ response to us wanting more Wanda.)

Anyway. Will round off with my favorite thing: everything on the train. Everything on the train was WONDERFUL.

Loki telling Sylvie about Frigga and how she taught him magic and then demonstrating the fireworks made me tear up. 🥺 Right in the feels. I miss Frigga a lot. I miss Asgard/the old Thor franchise in general a lot, but this is about Frigga. She was AMAZING and I miss her. Forever love the detail that Tom and Rene came up with the idea on the set of Thor 1 that Frigga is the one who taught Loki magic and fighting and how that informed their characters’ dynamic to the point of it being canonically discussed later. There’s a great Thor 2 deleted scene where Frigga talks to Thor about this exact thing. Frigga is such a fave of mine.

Sylvie telling Loki about her own past in turn made me very curious what her life was like and what the differences are. She seemed to have had a really hard time of it as a kid and I just want to hug her. (I also want to hug Loki, but that isn’t news.) Loki has had a very tough time, but really only after finding out he was adopted. He doesn’t appear to have had many friends on Asgard before (though I headcanon that he was friends with Lorelai before her exile, and since it’s my headcanon I imagine a similar situation with Amora, if not quite as close a friendship because comics Loki gets along better with Lorelai than her sister) but he at least had a family who loved him and who he loved, and a status as a prince that would’ve given him a good life and protection. Sylvie doesn’t seem to have had any of that as a kid. :(

“Surely there were some would-be princesses? Or perhaps a prince?” CANONICALLY BISEXUAL LOKI YES! YES.

Comics Loki is canonically both bisexual and genderfluid! Explicitly discussed on page, multiple times, and expounded on by writers too. (One of the most heartwarming Odin moments for me- yes, Odin does have heartwarming moments!- is when he’s telling his kids he loves them and he says something to the effect of “my son, my daughter, my child who is both.” The latter is Loki, the former are Thor and Angela. I might still be bitter over MCU Hela taking Angela’s place in the family sorry not sorry. This was in Original Sin: Thor and Loki, for anyone wondering.) I tend to default to he/him pronouns when talking about Loki because Loki tends to be male more in appearances, and also partly because it’s what I’m used to, but when Loki is clearly female I’ll of course switch to she/her. I have seen people use they/them pronouns for Loki too. I don’t think Marvel has ever said what pronouns Loki prefers though.

Speaking of which: I realize the “Sex: fluid” on Loki’s info card in episode 1 was probably foreshadowing Sylvie, but I kind of want to also read it as a nod to Loki being genderfluid. (Loki is also a shapeshifter, so gender would = sex in this case.) Whether it would be a nod to specifically comics Loki or also to MCU Loki is anyone’s guess as of now. We’ll find out I guess, or if it turns out to be strictly headcanon than it’s whatever floats your boat. :)

Back to the train scene!! Sylvie loudly protesting that she can’t sleep near people she doesn’t trust and then promptly falling asleep across from Loki a few minutes later made me emotional. ALTERNATE REALITY TWINS. Also VERY much a parallel to Loki falling asleep across from Mobius last episode.

Loki realizing that Asgard was really his home and his family really was his family only to also realize that he’ll never see either again and deciding to handle this by getting ABSOLUTELY DRUNK is SO ASGARDIAN OF HIM. I cannot. He even did the “Another!” *smashes glass* thing just to bring the point home.

Oh gosh, LOKI SINGING IN ASGARDIAN. FEEEEEEELS. I know, it’s actually Norwegian. I wonder a bit why they didn’t use Icelandic instead? Anyway, this was lovely and I love that going by the translation it’s a song of longing to go home, and it mentions Idunn’s apples of immortality. Apparently the full version of the song is going to be on the soundtrack and I’m so excited for that.

Loki’s metaphor of “love is a dagger” was actually quite good, he and Sylvie just lost the thread of it right at the end there. I wrote about this in tags somewhere, I’ll copy it in here later.

Edit: here’s an edited version of what I wrote on this post: This was a great metaphor until it got away from him. So close to the point (heh) and then they veered right away. Let me finish this for them: “Love is a dagger. It’s a weapon for far away and up close. You can see yourself in it. It’s beautiful. You have to give it to the right person.” So what this scene tells us about Loki is that he’s been hurt by love because it hasn’t been real. Or hasn’t felt real to him. Maybe he’s given it to the wrong people, or maybe he couldn’t tell who the right people were. (And if this is in reference to his family then I think he’s still too close to the revelation of his identity to be able to think clearly about the situation. Because his family DID love him! Even Odin. He just lost sight of that with everything happening.) Love is also about trust. And Loki doesn’t trust easily.

I really love this quote and this scene. Kinda want to do a “Love is a dagger” graphic of i ever have time.

I also wouldn’t be surprised if Loki and Sylvie come back to this conversation and come to a more satisfying conclusion. I hope that happens actually.

Sylvie using her headpiece against an opponent in the train fight instantly made me think of Wonder Woman. A+. Also, I haven’t mentioned yet but I love the fact that Sylvie’s headpiece looks exactly like God(dess) of Stories Loki’s from Agent of Asgard. Loki’s Ragnarok headpiece definitely had big AoA Loki vibes, but Sylvie’s headpiece is much closer- mostly it’s smaller, which is very Agent of Asgard Loki in general, but the one horn being cut off is specifically a God(dess) of Stories Loki thing and I love that they pulled from that.

Loki throwing the dagger and missing because he’s drunk was hilarious. Not good for Sylvie, but hilarious to watch. Don’t fight while drunk, Loki. Also, he threw “love” at Sylvie and I laughed when I realized that.

I didn’t realize until I saw a parallel gifset of it why Loki carefully going up to Sylvie after her scream felt so familiar- it’s just like how he went up to Thor after Thor overturned the table in Thor 1. The CONTINUINTY!! Absolutely amazing.

While trying to save the Ark Loki was probably thinking a lot about what he saw in the TVA clips of his own people trying to escape Asgard during Ragnarok and that hits kind of hard.

Loki apparently using telekinesis to stop the column from falling on him and Sylvie threw me off a lot until I saw another gifset that included the moment in Thor 2 (trailers only, I think) when he finds out Frigga is dead and all the furniture close to him breaks and flies away from him. The pose was even the same as when he stopped the column. I think he can sort of... push things away from him? (Almost like a Force Push 🤔) He seems to need to stop and tense up his arms while he does it though. And it doesn’t have the green effect the rest of his magic does, which is odd.

Speaking of Loki’s powers, I’ve said this in tags for sure but I’m so happy they’re FINALLY letting Loki hit people with green magic bolts. He does tend to prefer more subtle uses of magic, but I still can’t believe it took over 4 movies for that to happen. It’s kind of a no-brainer magic attack- probably exactly why Loki prefers other things- but you’d think he would’ve done it at least once after 4 movies.

I saw a post point out that by the end of the episode, Sylvie has lost both her headpiece and her cloak/robe thing, which makes me wonder if she’s going to get a new outfit by the end of the show. Or at least different accessories. I’m also curious if she’s going to take up the Enchantress moniker by the end of the show.

Finishing this with theme analysis and theory time:

The revelation that TVA agents used to be variants and were somehow reprogrammed makes so much sense. There’s something immediately shifty about the idea of 3 Time Keepers dictating the fate of everyone in infinite multiverses, and this just solidifies the hint that the Time Keepers are going to be the overall Big Bads. Which makes sense, narratively! But this shifts the TVA agents from villains to victims. Mobius gets to stay sympathetic and so does Sylvie, AND once the TVA agents find out about their origins it puts the same choice onto them that Loki has. They all have a choice now about who they’re going to be. They’re not who they thought they were, but are they going to let themselves be defined by what other people (here, the Time Keepers) think they should be, or are they going to be who they want to be.

This is exactly what Loki: Agent of Asgard is about, by the way. And I know I said in the last post that Loki’s greatest villain is himself, but I’m going to amend that because I didn’t say it quite right. Loki’s greatest villain is his evil self. Loki the god of evil, the Loki that is the villain. Loki (and all the other Asgardians) in Agent of Asgard is genuinely a god, and AoA tells us that gods are defined by belief- they are what people believe them to be. That’s how they exist. So because so many people believe Loki is an evil villain, the universe tries to twist him to fit that role. The plot of AoA is Loki trying to avoid that fate, to be better, be who he wants to be. It’s a meta story. It’s Loki trying to break free of the narrative he’s been part of up until that point. And eventually he manages to break the fourth wall itself and take control of his own narrative by becoming the god of stories. He controls his own story and it no longer matters what other people think he is, only what he thinks of himself. Nobody else gets to change or define him.

AoA’s villain is a future version of Loki that does go back to being evil. He’s basically the cosmic force- destiny, the narrative itself, etc- that’s trying to fit Loki into the “evil” box personified. Loki is seemingly taking that idea and subbing in a different personification for that same idea of lack of choice: the Time Keepers. We know from the Miss Minutes short in episode 1 that the Time Keepers want one timeline. We don’t know if that’s actually to prevent a multiversal war like the short suggests or if that’s just propaganda. When Loki tries to find out more about the war or about the beginning or end of time in episode 2, he can’t access those documents. Something doesn’t seem right there.

Edit: Also, in episode 2 Loki compares the TVA to Asgard by saying both the TVA agents and Asgardians are equally stupid. The reveal of who the TVA agents are adds a new dimension to that comparison. They both see themselves as guardians of the world around them, special, but really they’re no more special than the people they’re fighting to protect. Or in other words, they’re only as “special” (“heroic,” really) as they make themselves.

Also an edit: damn I just realized the continued stupidity of R*gnarok having Fenris and Odin in the same movie and Odin dies but get killed by Fenris. Asgardians have a saying about watching for wolves’ teeth.

I’ve seen the theory around that Sylvie might be a former TVA agent (which seems to be backed up by the midseason trailer I very belatedly saw, oh my GOD TINY SYLVIE!!!!! But also oh no tiny Sylvie at the TVA :() and I really like that. It makes sense. Maybe she went rogue because she realized the TVA is preventing people from choosing for themselves. Maybe she even knows what it is the Time Keepers actually want. Or maybe she’s doing this just for herself because she didn’t enjoy being brainwashed by the TVA and she doesn’t like being told who to be! That is after all part of “what makes a Loki a Loki,” even if she doesn’t use that name anymore.

I’m also wondering (hoping?) if maybe her being a former TVA agent could explain why she’s a mashup of different characters, instead of it just being Marvel mashing characters together because they can. This is mostly wild speculation, but could the TVA possibly have put multiple people’s timelines/memories inside her head? What if she’s in universe an amalgamation of a Loki, an Amora, and/or a Sylvie?

We’ve had some clips of what looks like a Thor 1 era Loki in front of the throne on Asgard- which looks different to me; maybe Loki redecorated? We’ve also gotten a shot of Loki in front of a ruined NYC skyline, including Avengers Tower. Maybe we’ll get an episode where Loki wins and we’ll see different timelines where he wins in different ways, until he realizes that this isn’t actually what he wants?

Whoops this got long??? Thanks for reading if you read this far!

[dmsden]

Monster of the Month - Shadow Dragon

Hullo, Gentle Readers. Our Year of the Dragon continues...but not, perhaps, as you expected! Maybe you thought you'd be seeing the last chromatic or metallic dragon here? Well, guess again! Instead, we turn to another dragon to be found in the Monster Manual, the elusive and fearsome Shadow Dragon! Thanks, as always, go to Scott "Art_Mutt" Fabianek for the awesome original art.

The Shadow Dragon first popped up in Monster Manual II for 1st Edition D&D. It's been lurking in the dark corners of the game ever since, and I was excited to see them in the core Monster Manual when 5E came out. I've always found them super creepy and fun to run.

Shadow Dragons in 5E are really interesting and a bit different than the ones from earlier versions. Instead of unique dragons that are a naturally (or not so naturally) occurring race, they are actually metallic or chromatic dragons that either are somehow born in the Shadowfell or have become transformed over time by living in the darkness of the Shadowfell. Instead of being a normal stat block, they are given a template that can be applied to any dragon in order to represent the transformation they undergo. An example stat block is also given, based on a young red dragon, which gives us a chance to look them over and compare the two.

The Shadow Dragon is basically the same stat block as before, so all the normal advice about running the dragon in combat applies, with a few key exceptions. Necrotic damage becomes tightly tied to the dragon's nature. They gain resistance to it, and, if their bite did an elemental damage like fire before, it begins to deal necrotic instead. Their breath weapon becomes necrotic as well, although it still maintains its size and area of effect.

The two things I really like about shadow dragons are related to their shadowy nature. First, they become very stealthy, gaining essentially Expertise in stealth, and they can Hide as a bonus action if they're in dim light or darkness. It makes me want to give a Shadow Dragon a few rogue levels! Their other signature trait is their Living Shadow trait. If they're in dim light or darkness, they have resistance to most damage types. And you'd better believe they're going to work to be in dim light or darkness! A few levels of spellcaster could let them create darkness, and then, given their blindsight and high Perception, anyone's going to have some problems with them.

As awesome as these abilities are in the dark, you can believe that PCs are going to try and negate them. If they manage to get a Shadow Dragon into sunlight, it's going to be an unhappy puppy, given that its most powerful effects are negated, and its sunlight sensitivity will be hitting it. The Shadow Dragon will ideally take its foes by surprise so that they don't have time to prepare spells to protect them from necrotic damage. 

It's important not to forget their legendary and lair actions, if they have them. An Ancient Shadow Dragon should be quite terrifying when encountered in their lair. I would even consider customizing their lair abilities, depending on what kind of dragon they started out as. Maybe something more befitting their shadowy and stealthy nature, like extinguishing light sources or creating darkness.

Storywise, I think shadow dragons plots should be about corruption and fear. Maybe the Shadow Dragon creates a cult around itself, corrupting villagers from near its new lair until the whole town is an eerie secret society seeking to destroy the sun or have the Shadowfell swallow the whole area. PCs might stop in a town for the night and find themselves embroiled in quite a story. It could be a whole campaign surrounding darkness, necrotic creatures, and the Shadowfell, with the Ancient Shadow Dragon at the end as the main villain...the one pulling all the strings behind the scenes.

In my own campaign, I had two Shadow Dragons, Umbrazalanoth and Skyalokanara, who had dragged a Dragonborn city into the Shadowfell with them centuries ago. The PCs had to go there to seek out an artifact they were looking for, and it ultimately led to the sacrifice of one of the PCs to end their reign of terror. 

I hope this has you thinking how to use Shadow Dragons in your own campaign. Give them a chance, and their darkness will sneak into your hearts. 

[guessimjoiningthespidermanfandom]

Rebirth and Rewrites

Peter Parker x bisexual!reader

Peter Parker x fem!reader

Peter Parker x black!reader

Peter Parker x villain!reader

Warning: Language, mentions of self harm, antidepressants, mentions of injuries, violence, anxiety attacks, depressing thoughts, mentions of parental neglect, self destructive behavior, mentions of weapons, mentions of bounty hunters, allusions of sex.

Word Count: 8.5k

Songs: dRuGz- Willow Smith, Money- Leikeli47, Only You (And You Alone)- The Platters, and Moonsickness- Penelope Scott.

“This isn’t the first time I’ve felt this. Feeling like you’re disconnected from your body that is. Like in the Edge of Seventeen when Nadine says she gets this feeling like she’s looking down on herself from outside her body and she hates what she sees. That’s sort of how it felt. But this? This felt entirely different like I was in the wrong body but retained my soul, it couldn't be explained. It requires no explanation really if you understand it then great and if you don’t you don’t. ”

A/N: Sorry this took so long school got too be a bit much things are kinda slow but now they’re starting to get interesting. 

Series Masterlist  Previous Part   Next Part 

The shampoo bottles flew wildly around the bathroom along with everything else that wasn’t bolted down. I tried my best to put everything back in place but the second I’d put one thing down another thing was moving back up towards the ceiling. 

“No, no. No stop!” I spoke as if the inanimate objects would listen to me and stop moving. 

Fuck. No stop. Please.

Everything was swirling in a tornado like fashion above my head. I ducked down into the bathtub and just waited because it had to stop at some point. Right?

“Y/N?” I heard Carmen call. I couldn’t bring myself to answer. I don’t think I’d have been able to speak if I tried. 

“Y/N open the door please” She asked softly followed by the sound of the doorknob rattling. 

I didn’t hear anything else for who knows how long could’ve been a second, 30 minutes, an hour I couldn’t tell. The door was slammed open. Startling me. Everything froze in the air for a few seconds before falling.

“Are you okay?” Carmen grabbing my shoulders. 

I nodded and shrugged her arms off me. Pushing myself up to stand on my legs. It was then and only then did I realize I was shaking.  

I opened my mouth to speak when there was a chime almost like the sound of a microwave. It felt like my eyes had zoomed out above my body. An aerial camera view. 

What I was experiencing was an out of body experience in the past. Like some Ebeneezer Scrooge type shit or a Raven Simone moment but backwards. 

I was shaking my hands flexing at my sides. Except for it wasn’t me me, it was another version of me passing off as another person that I could see full body.  

“Oh are you going to cry?” Heaven taunted. 

I watched as I blinked tears out my eyes. Anyone else would see this as a moment of weakness. However, I know I cried when I got really angry. And I mean really angry. Like rip your heart out, chew it up and spit it out angry. 

“Shut. Up.” I breathed looking down at my feet. 

“And what if I don’t you wanna snitch on me? Cry?” 

I knew the jist of what happened next. I was there when it actually happened. I beat her ass and got suspended. I just didn’t remember exactly how it happened or what exactly I did. 

The girl was still running her mouth but I wasn’t paying attention to that. I was watching her hands and her stance. That was something Wade taught me to watch someone’s body language, that way you could know when or if they were about to swing at you. 

 I threw a sharp right hook knocking Precious’s head into the locker. Right as Precious was about to go for my hair I was falling. 

The floor fell right from my feet and the scene that was once in front of me faded away. I wasn’t falling for long, my back slammed into the cold cement beneath me. 

“I thought you were supposed to be a good guy,” I laughed “Now you’re kicking me around for no reason at all?” Wait. I remember this. Why was it happening again? Why wasn’t it in the third person like the last? This was a core memory for me. My first encounter with Spidey. 

“You were stealing. It’s my job to stop crime,” 

I knew exactly what to do and say. I’d have to run over this like a practiced script. I pushed myself backwards with my hands. 

Oh yeah and who’s paying you to do that?

“No one, is I’m just a good person,” 

“Am I not a good person?” 

A cold sticky wet feeling engulfed my wrist. 

“You are a criminal and deserved to face the proper punishment,”

I rolled my eyes and grunted as I tried to pull my wrist out of whatever it was holding me to the ground. I used to think the webs actually came out of him which is disgusting. 

“Yeah, yeah sure can you hand me my bag so I can leave?” I teased.  

“Y/N!” A random voice called out. That wasn’t supposed to happen. 

“What was that?” Spiderman or Peter asked. I looked around trying to locate the voice. I heard my name called again before the only thing I could hear was a loud crack. 

I looked underneath me and the ground beneath my feet was split down the middle. I tried to pull my arm out of the webbing harder this time. The floor continued to split like a crack in a windshield before eventually consuming me and I was falling again.

As I was falling everything looked so beautiful. There were glowing orbs of light all around me. It was completely black except for the stars and orbs. 

It was then that realized I wasn’t falling anymore. It was the opposite. I was floating or stiled in place.

 I wanted to touch one of those bright spherical orbs I probably shouldn’t but I was going to do it anyway. I reached out towards it and my hand glided smoothly through the air. Or not air? This is space right? There’s no oxygen in space. Then how was I breathing?

My hands went straight through the orb leaving behind the same fire like ribbons from a few days ago and earlier today. The waves were fluid. They felt like nothing. Like a breeze maybe. Something that could possibly tickle if you endured enough of it. 

A large energy surge shot out the orb knocking me back. At least 100 feet once my arm was all the way through. It didn’t hurt though it was just strong. 

When I started moving back towards nothing in particular it felt like I was swimming. I began to laugh, I felt so free. 

 Multiple rings opened around me. I was circled with gold rings shooting off sparks. They looked like portals. To where I don’t know. There were some that looked like fiery pits of hell. Others were very colorful like a rave or rocky terrain. 

There was one that was calling me for some reason. Something told me to stop resisting the pull to stay where I was but I knew I couldn't. I pushed through the air. Well I guess I pulled myself towards it instead of pushed. I slid through like a knife through butter.

The first thing I felt was the coolness of the porcelain bathtub on my back. My head felt as if it was expanding inside my skull.  

I stepped in between all the shampoo bottles and hygiene products on the floor making my way out of the bathroom. I entered the living room not prepared to see Tony and Peter sitting there on the couch with some person I’d never seen. Who looked straight out of a Men in Black movie. 

“Oh shit.” I turned to Carmen grabbing her arm and dragging her down the hal l“What the fuck did you do?” 

“Where were you?” She answered my question with her own. Well two can play that game. And I believe I asked first. 

“What’d you do? Why'd you call them? Or if you didn't, why are they here? It was just a few bottles, I had it under control,” 

“I was freaking out that’s why! Where the hell were you?” 

“What are you talking about? I was in the bathroom. You saw me,” 

“You’ve been gone for 7 hours Y/N!” 

“What?” I shook my head. “No. What are you talking about?” 

“You’ve been gone for 7 hours and your eyes are glowing. What the hell is going on with you?” 

I pulled out my phone opening it to the camera app and my eyes were in fact glowing. I blinked very hard multiple times. Shaking my head until it cleared. What the fuck is happening.

I sent Peter, Tony, and the Agent J wannabe on their way with a few lies to clear the air. I’m sure Tony would want to play more of his mad scientist game on me but that’s a problem for another day. I was just going to read my book until I fell asleep. Last interaction I had with another human that day was Carmen patting my shoulder and saying “Welcome to the world of mutants, girl. Buckle up it’s a bumpy ride.” before walking away.  

I swear to whatever’s out there that I’m losing my mind. Like full on shave your head and move to New Mexico crazy. I’d open that can of worms later. 

“I don’t think I can love myself without sexualizing myself is that bad?” I asked, applying my lipgloss.

“I don’t necessarily think so, it’s common but if it gets out of hand, it can create lots of other problems,” MJ gave her input.

“Oh I definitely know all about the problems it can cause I just can’t stop, ” 

Carmen strolled into the bathroom. 

“Where’s the thing?” 

“What thing?”

“You know the,” She did a hand movement that I somehow understood. It wasn’t even remotely connected to what she was trying to convey either. 

“Oh! The face paint. It’s under the cabinet by Salem’s food bowls,” 

“What?” MJ questioned. “How did you get face paint from that?” 

I just shrugged. 

“I don’t know. We’re like connected or some shit,” 

I sat on the couch, Halloween playing on the TV but no one was paying attention. We were all on our phones. 

“Alright,” I sighed, pushing up from the couch. “I should be done at like 9 so that gives us like 11 to get there,” 

I promised my sisters I’d take them trick-or-treating. It’s been like this forever and I wasn’t going to back out now. Sapphire was actually dressed as Spiderman and for some reason I couldn’t tell if that made me wanna laugh or cry. Didn’t even know they made costumes for that guess that whole being sponsored by Tony thing was coming in clutch. 

I don’t know how it works anywhere else but in New York you gotta go trick-or-treating on the street. Everything is private property and you can’t just get buzzed in just for candy so you go in publicly owned places. 

“This is the last store for tonight, I gotta get back” I informed them.

Sapphire whined and I wrapped my arm around her pulling her into my side. 

“Cmon’ little superhero,” 

I stepped off to the side towards Aaliyah.

“For your sake I would not let her eat much candy if any tonight,” 

An half hour later and I was back at Carmen’s house. I really need to find somewhere else to stay. It's been too long here. 

After what felt like a million hours Harry finally showed up. 

“I’m driving,” I claimed moving towards the apartment door. 

“No you're not,” He stated.

“Oh really? Then why do I have the keys.” I lifted the keyring rattling it around. 

He let out an aspirated sigh. I could tell he wasn’t going to fight me on this. I'm sure he was just confused on how I even got them. 

Now there were two reasons I was driving. One because I had to make a detour and two I didn’t want to sit in Harry’s backseat because God knows what has happened back there. 

Back to the detour. It was Peter’s apartment complex. I'm surprised he agreed to come. had just brought it up to be polite. It was well known that parties weren’t really his scene. 

Harry held his hand out, palm facing up. There lied about seven bars. I’m honestly surprised he was sharing willingly. That was new. 

 Bri and Carmen as well as myself had no qualms about popping the xans. MJ didn't take any, just shook her head when offered, which I’m glad she’s too smart for drugs. So is Peter which is exactly why I pushed Harry’s hand away. Giving him a look daring him to even think about offering anything to him. 

Everyone had split up Carmen with MJ. Bri to honestly I don’t know where and Harry to I don’t think I want to know where. And Peter? He’s with me of course, couldn’t leave him by himself. 

“Where’s Ned I haven’t seen him in a while,” I decided to speak because I couldn’t stand the awkward silence in this bedroom I’d somehow backed myself into. 

“He said he’s been to one party this and that fits his quota for the year,” 

“Well I would’ve thought Liz’s thing met your quota too but here we are,” I could feel my brain slowing down and smiled slightly. Then I noticed how far away Peter was on the bed.

“You can get closer, I won’t bite,” I hummed. “Unless you want me to of course,” 

“What!?” He almost shouted.

“I’m kidding dude, calm down,” I laughed. The room fell into silence again save for the sound of the music vibrating throughout the house. I miss real house parties. But oh well this party where I wasn’t actually doing anything would have to do.  

“Just realized I never asked. What are you dressed as?”

“Han Solo,” He replied as if I was supposed to know who that was.

“Who?” I scrunched up my eyebrows. 

“You don’t know Han Solo?” 

I shook my head. I’m sure it looked a lot sloppier than I meant for it to be I just couldn’t really move my head

“From Star Wars?” He tried again.

“The only people I know from Star Wars are Princess Lelia, Luke Skywalker and that one robot motherfucker.”

It was hard not to smile as Peter rambled on about the Saga. I wasn’t really paying attention but he looked adorable. I was just staring at him and I’m sure if Harry or Carmen were here they’d tell me I looked like the embodiment of the heart eye emoji. It’s not like I liked him or anything he was just cute.  

That was until my burner vibrated against my lower leg. I used my arms to push myself up, excusing myself to take the call. 

“What’s up?” I asked. 

Wade’s voice boomed from the phone. 

“I know a guy that knows a guy who knows-“ He cut himself for the reason I could only assume was because of the crashing noise coming from inside the house. 

“Are you at a party?” 

“No,” I lied for no reason he wouldn’t care if I was.

“I’m not stupid just call me back when you’re not flirting with some fuckboy or high,” He choose to emphasize the last word. 

“I’m not high,” I’m not sure who exactly I was trying to convince. 

“You’re literally slurring right now. Don’t drink and drive kid,” 

“What?” I laughed at his attempt at a lecture or a safety tip whatever that was. 

“Don’t laugh, I'm trying to be a responsible adult. I think it’s about time.” 

I couldn’t remember when or how I got back inside but here I was surrounded by people with music bouncing off the wall fading in and out of consciousness and I had never felt more alone. It was kinda pathetic.

“I’ve never understood that calling people daddy shit it’s fucking weird-“ I cut my rambling off pushing my face against the car window enjoying its coolness. “English is the most unattractive language, like it’s so tame and dull and…” I trailed off letting my head fall back down as I lost control over my neck muscles for a second. 

“It’s just like- I just wanna be able to say-“ I sighed before starting up again “Vous avez l'air très attirant ce soir. Les choses que je te laisserais me faire,” 

I looked away and everyone besides MJ was looking at me with wide eyes. I couldn’t tell if it was because she was driving or the fact I knew she spoke French. 

I realized it was definitely the latter when she spoke back in the same language. 

“Was that directed as a general thing or at Peter?” 

Thank God no one else understood us. I mean it wouldn’t have been that big of a deal I’d just have to endure a bit of teasing but it’s better to avoid the headache. 

“So are you going to let us in on your conversation or…” Harry questioned.

“Shut up,” I spoke to both Harry and MJ. “Drop Peter off first,” That was the last thing I muttered before falling deep into the vast clusterfuck of a land that is my subconscious. 

When I woke up I was on Carmen’s couch with a blanket draped over my waist. I clumsily reached for my phone just texting the last person I texted. To stimulate my mind.  

you: hi are you awake 

I couldn’t help but laugh at how much this seemed like a u up? text but this was in a completely different context. 

It took a minute but he responded.

p😜🤚: yeah are you okay?

you: im fine just bored 

p😜🤚: oh

p 😜🤚: well we can talk if you want too 

I couldn’t help but smile. Ugh what’s wrong with me. I knew better than to ask this because I wasn’t trying to catch feelings anytime soon but my dumbass did it anyway. 

you: can we ft

p: sure 

He apparently did see the cuts on my leg that one time because he just asked me about it. To which I  denied, denied, denied. Salem did it and that’s final. I only did it once anyway so who gives a fuck I’d gotten the urge to do it under control. Like I’d heard somewhere before there’s a difference between thinking about hurting yourself and wanting to hurt yourself. 

“You’re sure you’re okay though?” He asked one last time and I nodded my head. “Okay because I know all these changes in your body can be-“

“Changes?” I interrupted “Why are you making it sound like puberty,” l laughed. I wish I could convince myself whatever these mutations were are just puberty.  

“You know what I mean!” He let out a small laugh.

“Okay but puberty is really weird, why do humans need so much sweat,” I attempted to shift the conversation onto something that wasn’t my physical and mental wellbeing.

 Either Peter could tell I wasn’t going to give him shit or I really was just the master of getting out of things but it worked. I eventually fell asleep and when I woke up he was still on the phone.

“So you’re sending me to bounty hunt a bounty hunter who’s bounty hunting Mr. America?”

“Exactly,” 

“That’s the dumbest shit I’ve heard all day,” 

“Hey you asked me to help you be grateful you little asshole,” Wade teased.

“Fuck you,” I laughed. “How long do I have?” 

“Two weeks top.” 

I hummed before hanging up.

Now the question was to do this alone or to bring someone else. I definitely haven’t been in the most stable of headspaces lately. There could be up to 4 Avengers and 1 bounty hunter. I’d have to be smart about this. I can’t believe that I’m about to say this but I need a plan. 

-Step one: Find Carmen and make her make a plan.-

Step one: Convince Tony to let me go on a solo mission. Giving me a reason to dip while having a whole buncha cool technological weapons at my disposal.

Step two: Disable the tracking in the weapons provided. 

Step three: Get a car.

Step four: Follow bounty guy to wherever they’re going. 

Step five: Take out the bounty guy. 

Step six: Talk to Captain America.

Step seven: Find Thor from Captain America. 

First I’d have to get out of detention. I would’ve been fine with detention if I had my phone. I don’t even know why I’m in here actually. I hadn’t gotten in trouble in a while. I was confused until Tony strolled into the room. Why couldn’t he meet anyone in a normal location just once. He always had to fucking abmush people. 

I had to hold back from rolling my eyes. 

“Yes?” I asked. 

“You said you were up for a solo op right?”

I nodded skeptically. 

“Well I have one for you next Friday,” 

“Go on,” I moved my arms under my torso to rest under my chin. 

It was just a simple drug bust in and out. He must’ve been really bored to go out of his way to try and stop something as miniscule as this. Probably didn’t think it through when he signed those accords. Now he literally can’t do anything without the whole world jumping his dick.  For now he’s living vicariously through Peter and I’m assuming. 

A simple drug bust isn’t something you really need to get ready for. Trying to find and possibly have to fight one Avenger let alone possibly 4 is something you have to be more than ready for. In every way possible. Including mentally.

“I think I want to go back on antidepressants,” I blurted, plopping back down on the couch with a bag of chips. 

“You’re being serious?” Carmen asked, pausing the TV.

“Yeah I mean what’s so surprising about that?” I unpaused it.

She paused it again turning towards me. 

“Why? What happened you said you hated all the side effects and would never take them again,” 

“Guess I changed my mind,” I shrugged “I just told you cause I know you know how to get them ‘s all,” 

“Okay.” She nodded and I could almost see her brain working behind her eyes. 

One thing about long term friends is they know when you don’t want to talk about something and they also know when they need to drop it. In the click of a few buttons on a keyboard I had an appointment with a psychiatrist. The fact she knew my insurance information is kinda scary though. Apparently I passed the test to get crazy people's medicine with flying colors. 

I was in Queens for many reasons, one of them being I wanted to spar with Felicia. She is not a sparring person she likes to fight but only when she has to, but I was able to convince her. It didn’t take much actually. She owes me after all 3:1.

She was sorta similar to Black Widow in fight styles and she was hard to beat.  With Captain America it’s easy, his fighting style is easy to evade, if I just avoid the shield and go for his legs I’d be good. Spiderman doesnt shield his left side when he goes to hit you and relies on his webs too much. Wanda she- I don’t know what she does actually but if I can get her to physically fight me instead of using powers I could easily take her down. That Falcon guy uses his legs a lot so aim for the wings. 

But Black Widow was agile. The strongest of them all because she doesn’t use strength you can tell from the videos I’d been analyzing she movies like a ballerina. Her fighting style is to not have one at all. 

I mean it was scary how similar she and Felicia were; they even both have Black in their name and suits. Despite neither of them being back which is funny. 

I was laid out on the panting. I rolled over onto my stomach grunting as I reached for my knife. I wasn’t done at least not yet. 

I slung my arm towards her and this time she didn’t catch it. I barely grazed her but it was enough to catch her off guard. I was able to get her pinned to the ground for like 15 seconds. 

“Remind me to never get on your bad side,” I laughed.

“You could never,” Honestly I’m starting to believe that. Even when Olivia and I broke up she never got hostile towards me or anything. And her being hostile towards me is not something I’d enjoy. 

I’d have to be the clumsiest “agile” person I’d ever met. I fell walking down the steps to get back outside. I rolled and landed on my ankle but I’m sure it’d be fine. It only caused a slight discomfort when I put pressure on it. I’m just glad I could walk like this without having Felicia on my ass about it. 

I was already in the area so I decided to stop by Peters house just to see if he was home. Okay in all honesty, I wasn’t really in the area Felicia lives in an entirely different part of Queens. But he said I could stop by whenever and I’d like to say I’m a literal person. 

I winced when I put my foot all the way back down on the ground but I didn’t want to be interrogated. Peter does not know when to drop things. 

“Hey,” I spoke once he opened the door. 

“Hey?” He asked more than said as if he was surprised I was here. 

He just stood there staring for a few seconds too long.

“So can I come in? Or...” I tilted my head. 

“Oh,” He shook his head slightly as if shaking out his thoughts. 

“Oh, yeah come in,” He stepped out of the way. 

We both sat with our legs facing each other on his bottom bunk. Suddenly I became aware. 

Aware of the way I could feel all the fibers in the polyester blanket I sat on.

Aware of each sound around me, the slight wind just outside the window, the faint TV show I could hear from the apartment on the floor above, the air conditioning rattling. 

Aware of how I didn’t remember who I’d been or how where or why. 

Aware of how I had a purpose, how I should look to the sky for answers and when I could not look to the light I must look into our heart. The one collective heart we share. But I could not remember who we were. I wasn’t meant to remember who we were or what we were.

I wasn’t supposed to remember not yet. Not now. But soon or maybe never. They'll never take my power, even if I didn’t understand it yet. It was mine and mine to keep. 

Aware of the faint whisper of my name rang through the air. 

I didn’t appreciate the headache and tightness in my chest this awareness or insanity brought me. I needed a distraction. Not sure why this was the first thing that popped into my head but it was. 

“Your suit can record things right?”

“Yeah why?” 

“Does it record everything it’s around?”

The whispering only got closer and closer. My name being called out with a sense of urgency and grief. I couldn’t see. There was a difference between adrenaline and anxiety and this wasn’t the later. Something was seriously wrong and I had no idea what to do about it. Finally the voice got so loud it could not be ignored.

“Y/N!” I snapped my eyes up and tried to calm my breathing. 

“What?” I asked with more hostility than I intended. 

“It’s just you zoned out and started muttering something. It freaked me out,” 

I had to hold back from showing my confusion on my face. 

“Sorry,” I murmured sheepishly. I don’t know why I felt the need to apologize. It's like I was a walking ball of grief, guilt, and shame but it wasn’t my own. 

I’m not sure how long we sat there in silence before I felt the impending urge to escape but as soon as I put pressure on my foot the shock of the pain shooting to my leg wasn’t able to be concealed. I winced quietly but I know he heard me. 

In two seconds flat he was pestering me trying to figure out what was wrong. I ignored him and suddenly the fraying on the shoelaces of my combat boots was extremely interesting to me. 

“It’s nothing Peter, drop it,” I walked towards his closet. 

“It’s not nothing,” He sighed moving towards me. “Why can’t you just tell me what’s wrong?” 

Because if I told you then you’d tell Tony and I’d get taken off the solo op.

I just looked up at the ceiling and decided to change the topic with something I knew would get the target off of my back. 

“Why’d you never get me arrested?” 

“Huh?” He raised his eyebrows scrunching up his face.

“All the times you came after me as Thorn. You always let me get away, why?” 

“I don’t know. I just couldn’t see you get arrested I guess.” 

I hummed to his answer letting my hands roam through his closet. I picked up a pair of Hello Kitty pajama pants.

“When’d you get these?” I asked. 

He snatched them from my hands.

“Haha go ahead and make fun of me for them. Mr. Stark gave them to me.” 

I simply smiled.

”I was just going to say they were very cute actually ’m sure you looked adorable, but okay,”

I glanced back at him and his face had a light pink glow.

“You’re blushing!” I pointed out laughing.

“Am not,” He lied.

“Are too. I can tell you aren’t used to getting compliments,” I smiled. “That’s too bad though you deserve plenty of compliments,” I looked back up at the ceiling and noticed an attic or trap door. I hopped up a bit and his suit fell down as I hit the door. 

“How does everyone keep finding that?” I heard him ask.

“It’s a very you place to put it that’s why,” I mindlessly answered back.

“You heard me?” 

That’s snapped me out of whatever trance I was in. 

“What? Was I not supposed to?” As soon as the sentence left my mouth I heard a scream.

“Somethings wrong,” Peter announced. So he heard it too?

I felt drawn to it. Like I knew them or something. 

“Uh…” I stalled “I have to go. Sorry,” 

“Okay text me when you get back home,” He rushed out since I’d moved away so quickly. 

I was sure I was limping but the pain wasn’t as prevalent in my mind as the screaming was. I followed it as if it was a compass. I followed it to the middle of nowhere. It was just dry grass and about three trees caged by chain link fences and abandoned buildings. 

Whatever came over me faded as soon stepped off the sidewalk. The screaming subsided into nothing and it was like a tight grip around my chest slipping away. I’m really losing my mind oh my god. 

I couldn’t sleep. I sat in the bathtub all night focusing. I found when I focused hard enough I could move some of the things. It isn’t so much about imagining where you want something to go it was about believing it was already there. It hurt my head to do it though. I only moved about three things 4 inches. 

It was a possibility that I was going through a psychotic break or I could’ve really been moving things with my mind because of whatever radiation was in my body. A few days ago I apparently disappeared after there was a tornado of shampoo bottles flying around. Maybe I did that subconsciously somehow. 

I mean gamma rays literally invented the Hulk wherever he was. Who knows what they were doing to me. 

I eventually fell asleep halfway on and halfway off the couch. How I even got there in the first place I wasn’t sure. I upped the times I needed to go to the gym a day to 3 times. That would’ve been fine. I didn’t have like 50 missing assignments to turn in before the end of the semester. Which is in 2 weeks. 

It didn’t help that I felt like something bad was about to happen. Don’t know what but I feel it coming. I hummed to myself. Okay now back on track. It comes in handy to have smart friends, especially ones willing to help you get your work done. 

“Why are we at the park?” Peter asked as I tucked my legs back to swing even higher. 

“Because if you do work in an unusual place you get it done faster.”

“I’m not sure that’s tr-“ 

“It is true don’t question me,” 

“We're not even doing any work right now,” He pointed out. 

“If you swing higher than me we can start.” I knew he wasn’t one to back down from a challenge.

“Oh, you’re on,” He replied, putting both his hands on the swing’s chains. 

He didn’t beat me. I let him win because I got tired.

“Yeah right,” He laughed. 

“I did! You wouldn’t of won if I didn’t stop, I let you win out of pity” 

I actually managed to get 3 whole assignments done. School can be kinda fun when you have a teacher who doesn’t try to make you feel stupid. It’s way easier when you have the energy to try at all.

 You never realize how much walking you do in a day or how excruciating exercising is until your leg hurts. I was going to let it stop me though. There’s a reason people say walk it off to injuries. 

The entire structure of my plan had failed. Somehow, someone probably Peter, told Tony that I got hurt and I got taken off the solo op. 

After 30 minutes of me being annoying as fuck I got put back on. Only problem now was Peter was coming as a safety precaution.

Step 8: Figure out how to ditch Peter.

Fuck my life. Although everything else was falling apart I’d manage to get 40% of my assignment turned in. 

Friday came in a blink of an eye. I’d be the bait and Peter would just be the lookout. I wasn’t planning on going through with whatever I was supposed to be doing here. I just needed to disable the tracker in my communicator. I guess I was thinking straight because I didn’t hear or even see the guy move behind Peter. Not until I heard him call out.

“It’s a set up!” 

There was one thing I didn’t have to think about and that was running. It was my expert tactic. I knew it wouldn’t be fair to leave Peter. He might think he can take care of himself but he was too naive for his own good. 

“Wait!” He called out and I stopped behind an empty building.

“Do you trust me?” I asked.

“Yeah but why-“ 

I interrupted him.

“I need to do something really important and Tony can’t know about it,” 

“Now you can go back but you can’t say a single thing about this to him. Just say the mission went wrong and I decided it was safer to ditch or something.”

I could see the conflict in his eyes.

“No,” 

Fuck. I felt my burner vibrate in my pocket. It was probably Carmen asking where I was. 

“No?” 

“Yeah cause I’m coming with you,” 

“I can’t ask you do to that,” 

“I know but I’m coming or I’ll tell Mr. Stark,” 

I knew he probably wouldn’t but I couldn’t risk the slim chance that he would. 

“Fine…” I breathed out. I didn’t have anytime to argue I’d just ditch him somewhere. 

I saw him quietly cheer. Clearly not understanding the severity of the situation. This wasn't some Vulture thing, this was very highly trained individuals. 

I dialed Carmen again.

“Hey… So we’ve got a plus one,” 

“What?” 

“You’ll see,” 

We were in the car for 12 fucking hours and we still weren’t there. I never realized how much Peter talked until now. We had no form of entertainment besides the radio. Carmen pulled over at a gas station so we could switch off and partially because Peter said he had to use the bathroom. 

While he was still inside Carmen spoke up for the first time in what felt like weeks.

“Why’d you bring Golden boy along?”

“Cause I didn't want him to get shot,” 

“Yeah I understand that part. Why didn’t you just like knock him out and dip,” 

“What why the fuck would I do that,” 

“You would’ve done it to anyone else. You’re getting all soft,” She poked my side and I flipped her off. 

“How’s that for soft?” As soon as the sentence came out of my mouth I heard the click of the door opening and it startled me a lot more than it should’ve. 

The rest of the ride was silent save from Peter asking home much longer we had to go before falling asleep. It was about 12 pm by the time we got there. After shaking both Carmen and Peter awake I headed up to knock on the door. 

A girl who looked about Aaliya’s age answered the door.

I smiled at her.

“Is your dad here I have to ask him something,” 

Now I knew for a fact he was here he was on house arrest. I was looking through the videos Peter’s suit had recorded and I found this giant guy at some airport in Germany who I was able to trace back to Scott Lang. 

That one guy who transferred all that money out of Vistacorp back to its consumers. It was pretty badass as far as nonviolent crimes go. 

I could see her playing my question over in her head deciding if she’d have to lie or not. I’m assuming she saw something somewhat trustworthy in me because I was sitting in his house on his couch. Trying to convince him to help me.  

“So let me get this straight. You have telekinetic and fire powers and had a dream that you believe is prophetic and you need me to tell you where Captain America is?” 

“Pretty much yeah,” 

“Okay uh wow,” He claimed standing up. I could tell he believed me. There wasn't a hint of distrust in his eyes. Which is good because I wasn’t lying.

“I want to help you, I do. But-“ 

“You don’t know where he is do you?” 

“No not exactly. I do have something though.” He replied standing up off the couch “Hold on let me get it,” He went rummaging around his house because coming back about a minute later. 

“No luck?” Carmen asked as she read my facial expression. 

I shook my head.

“All he gave me was this,” I held up the plastic plaque. 

“What are we even looking for anyway,” Peter asked. 

I could see Carmen shaking her head signaling me not to tell him. I didn’t. He’d find out sooner or later. I think we were too far from home to ditch him now.

“So are we paying or are we saving the cash?” Carmen asked.

“We can just save it probably let me go check,” 

The hotel was empty for the most part. Multiple rooms to choose from. It was always easier to make a get away if needed from the bottom floor and I chose to break into the one closest to the exit. 

“I call showering first,” Carmen spoke. 

I just waved her off plopping onto one of the Queen beds placed next to the air conditioner. Peter was just standing in the corner like he was nervous or something. 

“First “road trip” or something?” I teased.

“Kinda…” He trailed off as something caught his attention. “Are you ever going to tell me where we’re going,” 

Might as well.

“To find Captain America,” 

He looked like a deer caught in headlights. 

“Wait you’re being serious?”

“As a heart attack,” 

“I don’t think he likes me,” He looked down as he fidgeted with his hands. “I kinda stole his shield,” 

“So I’ve heard,” I giggled. 

I checked the communicator and the bounty hunter we were supposed to be hunting down was still in the same place. This could mean 1 of many things, either the tracker on them is broken or has been found, they found him already, or the whole communicator was broken. 

“Alright I’m done,” Carmen emerged from the bathroom. 

Peter being nice like he always is let me go next. Sometimes it concerns me how nice he is. Like he was planning something just like Canadians they all seem so nice but they’re just as racist as everyone else. But now I’m starting to believe he's just genuinely that good of a person. 

Which is refreshing. You don’t see too many good people nowadays. However the better of a person you are the more room you have to taint. And I knew for a fact I wouldn’t allow myself to be one of those people who did it. 

You know when you’re dreaming and there’s something or someone chasing you and you try to run but you never can. I would say that’s me, my entire essence. I’d been trying to out run my demons for so long never realizing that my only demon was myself. And no matter how bad I wanted to, I couldn’t outrun myself. Trust me I’ve tried. 

I couldn’t outrun the sudden ache moving throughout my body. I could always feel an anxiety attack right before it happened but remained powerless to stop it most of the time. 

Streams of water ran over my body mixing with the warm tears that ran down my face. I’m sure the water pressure overpowered my sobs from outside of the room but that didn’t mean I couldn’t hear the pathetic sounds. 

After my breathing went back to normal I stood in the mirror detangling my hair staring at each mark on my body. Whether it be a tattoo or scar or a mole I looked. I reminisced about the stories behind them, some a lot sadder than the rest. But somehow the marks I couldn’t remember were the saddest of them all.

It hurt to want to go back to life before everything went… just wrong, when you couldn’t even remember what it was like before then. 

It’s like I was numb before and crying felt good. Well it didn’t feel good but you know what I mean. It just felt good to know I could still feel.

I heard a knock at the door shaking myself out of my spiraling thoughts. I sniffled, wiping my nose, before tightening my towel around my waist and opening the door.

The first thing that hit me was the cool breeze of the hotel air conditioning contrasting against my warm skin. The second was Peter looking confused as ever holding some form of cloth in his hands.

“Oh I’m sorry, was I taking too long?” I looked back towards my clothes sitting on the counter grabbing them as if I was about to exit but in reality I still had no clothes on underneath this towel. “You can go hold on,” 

“No! Uh…”

“No what?” I smiled. 

“I came to bring...” He waved around what I could now see was a shirt.

I simply raised my eyebrows at him suspiciously.

“Here,” He thrusted the shirt into my hands. 

I looked down at the article of clothing in confusion.

“Thanks?” 

“I know you left it out here so…” He awkwardly clamped his hands together. 

“Thank you,” I replied, slowly shutting the door so he knew he could back off. For some reason I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across my face. 

Smiles never lasted long for me. Something weird just always manages to happen every time I’m even remotely happy. 

I was in some form of a prison or detainment facility. There was thick glass everywhere so I’m assuming it was high security. I had the plaque from earlier today in my hand except it wasn’t my hand. Unless I have magically turned white, it was someone else. 

This isn’t the first time I’ve felt this. Feeling like you’re disconnected from your body that is. Like in the Edge of Seventeen when Nadine says she gets this feeling like she’s looking down on herself from outside her body and she hates what she sees. That’s sort of how it felt. 

But this? This felt entirely different like I was in the wrong body but retained my soul, it couldn't be explained. It requires no explanation really if you understand it then great and if you don’t you don’t. 

The plaque had a seam that I hadn’t noticed before and it was hollow inside. I clutched in my right hand and kept walking.

 As soon as I entered a large room extending from the hall. That all too familiar siren sound played through my ears as a bright light stunted my vision. 

I was brought back to my body. Well I guess I just woke up because now I was all sweaty and sitting straight up on the bed like an idiot.

 I made my way to the bathroom and the light made me realize my eyes were glowing and so were my veins. I just blinked it out like I was trying to put contacts in and washed my face. 

Seriously what was happening to me I don’t want to end up like Hulk or Wanda and have everyone scared of me. But whatever this is couldn’t be controlled or understood. 

I woke the others up, as I was trying to figure out how to open the plaque I heard Carmen hiss loudly.

“Why’s the doorknob so hot?” She turned to me “Did you do this?” 

“No? How would I do that?” Maybe I did do it. I did lose my train of thought when I went to open the door. 

Still doesn’t explain the heat part, maybe it had something to do with the fire thing from Staten Island but I hadn’t done that again since that night. I was honestly starting to believe I made it up. 

I reached for a napkin to wipe the syrup off my hands. It was Carmen’s brilliant idea to stop at a Waffle House. All the time we spent here could’ve been used doing something actually productive. 

“So why are you trying to open that?” Peter asked, sliding closer to where I had the plaque laid out on the table. He asks too many questions. I didn’t wanna respond but I didn’t wanna be mean.

“Because,” I grunted as I struggled to pull apart the top and bottom. “I had a dream that there was something inside and now I wanna see if that’s true,” 

“A dream?” He questioned.

“Yeah a dream,” 

“Who was in it?”

“No one was in it,” I started to get annoyed for absolutely no reason. “Just finished your food,” I pointed at his plate.

“Fine…” He slid back over. 

I hit the seam of the plaque against the edge of the table and the bottom popped up. I let out a silent cheer and caught the attention of Carmen.

“What?” 

I flipped the opening over my palm and a rolled up piece of paper came out. 

“Look what I found,” 

“A clue,” Peter spoke.

“It’s not a clue this isn’t some TV adventure it’s just evidence,” Carmen spat. 

I unraveled it revealing a bunch of numbers. I think it’s either a phone number or coordinates. It wasn’t a phone number. I called it and some random Canadian person picked up. So the next option was coordinates.

“Are we sure this is the right place?” Carmen asked. Looking at the stranded house sitting some way down the street.

“If it’s not then oh well,” I shrugged, unhooking my seat belt. 

I leaned down to the slightly cracked passenger window. 

“Do not get out of this car.” I spat through my teeth. Neither of them knew how to listen and I had to let them know I meant business. 

I started towards the house, the gravel crunching under my feet before I turned back again.

“I mean it!” I called out before sprinting back into the house. 

The door creaked open as I pushed it open and I turned back to keep it from closing. The second I did it I knew it was the wrong decision to make. Literally anyone who knew anything about anything knew to not turn their back on unknown territory.

  I was being restrained by some invisible force that wasn’t invisible for long. There were scarlet or crimson waves making my tingle.

 It was more of a tickling feeling than a burning one. That feeling faded into another soon. I clamped my eyes shut, it felt like someone was using my head as a bowl using a spoon to try to scrape my brains out.

 I ended up overpowering whatever force was holding down my arms to hold my head. It was excruciating putting my hand there only made it worse. As soon as I made contact with the skin that loud siren noise like nails on a chalkboard racking through my brain caused me to double over in pain. I saw two legs above me and I heard someone’s voice saying.

“Wanda? What’s going on out there?” 

My vision blurred as I tried to swat at who was allegedly Wanda Maximoff the telekinetic girls legs. The one person I didn’t want to run into was over here melting my brain. I pushed myself up. I think I couldn’t really feel my muscles. I know for a fact my back hit something or maybe something hit my back. 

I heard more footsteps nearby and hushed whispers followed by a who are you and what do you want. I probably would’ve answered if I could but I don’t think I had the current ability to form a coherent sentence. 

“She doesn’t look like one of theirs. How do we know she’s here to hurt us?” I heard someone say. 

“I don’t know I can’t read her,” A voice I hadn’t heard before spoke. 

“What’s that mean?” 

I was stuck in place again. I couldn’t really see and I could feel anything but the tearing of my brain in half and the presence of another body in the room. My eyes were closed but I felt them get closer to me. Too close for my liking. My eyes shot open as soon as I heard. 

“Y/N?” 

I tried my best to lift my head to meet the redhead's eyes. 

“You know her Romanoff?” I heard the first guy from before speak. 

“Sort off?” She shrugged and reached out to pull me up to a sitting position. I let her. 

Romanoff. This was Natasha Romanoff aka Black Widow. She was here with Wanda along with who was most likely Captain America and she knew my name. 

“How-“ I swallowed some of my spit because of how dry my throat is. “How do you know my name?” 

She answered my question with a question of her own. 

“How’d you find this place? Most importantly why?” 

“I asked you first,” I narrowed my eyes. 

She had the audacity to chuckle at my statement. 

I glared at her which turned into some sort of staring contest until it was interrupted by some wannabe comedian.

“Are we interrupting some family reunion here or…” 

I flipped off the general direction of the voice off on instinct. 

Taglist: 

@tomdiddlyumptious​

[shemakesmusic-uk]

Wallice has shared her subversive new single 'Hey Michael'. 'Hey Michael' amplifies her blood-thirsty nature, a revenge anthem that finds Wallice turning into a worse villain than her erstwhile love interest. A song about toxic tendencies and how they manifest in our lives, 'Hey Michael' twists and turns around American Psycho imagery. Wallice labels "a revenge anthem for anyone who has encountered a gaslighting, manipulative person. It’s what I wish I would have said to all the ‘Michael’s’ I have met in my life. It can be substituted by many names, we all know or have met a ‘Michael’ though. Somehow the world revolves around them and they just can’t catch a break, because they never do anything wrong and it’s usually your fault. You should have listened to your gut instinct and swiped left on this Michael. This isn’t a man-hating song, it’s just something many people can relate to. Sometimes it’s embarrassing to admit just how bad a friend, date, or romantic partner was and a lot of the time, I would just smile and laugh off stupid remarks but when I think back, I wish I had told them off. But at the same time, my persona in the song is not the best person either. I literally say: I think I want to start a fight, which one is your girlfriend? The whole song is funny because I am so focused on how shitty Michael is that I don’t even think about how shitty I might be as well." Directed by Phil Stillwell, the video takes place at a house party, with Wallice interacting with various 'Michaels' before her behaviour spirals into something much, much worse. [via Clash]

In the same vein as Massive Attack’s suburban groove and social commentary in the mid 90’s, KITA have captured the rhythm and heartbeat of suburban Pōneke; a city abuzz with a vibrant music and dramatic performance scene in their brand new track and official video, ‘Private Lives’. Weaving together elements of vintage rock, pop and soul, and warm hints of synth, KITA have created a skin-prickling piece of magic with ‘Private Lives’, a deeply beautiful track penned in 2020’s lockdown, that delves into the unknown of what happens when the blinds are shut – the parts of life that are unseen by others. "Standing from my kitchen window during lockdown in Aotearoa, sinister thoughts entered my mind about what could be happening behind closed doors for people”, says front-woman Nikita 雅涵 Tu- Bryant. The video tells the story of a father and daughter’s relationship amongst snapshots of everyday life and its monotonous anonymity, while things aren’t always what they appear on the surface. Late at night the father can finally reveal his true self, adorning makeup and sequins, only to be spied by his daughter. The two then share a special moment of dressing up and dancing together, a true celebration of individuality, self-love and the beauty of self-expression.

'Just Chemistry' is the third single from Dance Lessons, a London-based, female-fronted and produced trio, creating what they define as Serrated Pop. 'Just Chemistry' is a delicate hymn to the unspoken. Dance Lessons return with their signature sound – minimal production, sleek vocals and intricate arrangements. Ann says: “'Just Chemistry' is about the over-complication of our relationships. It’s about the things that are left unsaid in-between the awkward text messages and conversations, and how the absence of knowing can be misinterpreted as doubt. Last year was a difficult one. For a long time, I felt at the mercy of my emotions. I doubted where things were going. I lived in the future and found it hard to commit to the present. But these moments of not knowing can be equally thrilling and beautiful. And that’s what the song is about: finding beauty in the unspoken. In most cases, it’s chemistry that makes us fall in love. Things end, all is temporary. Let’s not go to war with one another over it.” Nat says on the video: “A friend told us about this weird and wonderful house in North London that feels a little like stepping into an acid trip. We obviously wanted to check it out. It’s completely surreal, all over the place (in a great way) and generally eclectic, which felt inherently us. We instantly wanted to do something there and asked the owner for permission to shoot a music video. We filmed during lockdown and were let loose embracing all the oddness of it. Ann also designed and created the outfit she wears in the video, something she does with most of her wardrobe. It was shot, directed and edited by our hugely talented friends Ben Hanson and Simon Frost from Borderland Studios.”

Returning with her first offering of the year, North London’s rising star Laurel Smith is ready to reveal her anticipated new single, ‘Out the Cage’ accompanied by an action packed and thrilling cinematic style music video directed by Jeremie Brivet and Jai Garcha. Sticking to her winning recipe of moody, dark, electro-pop production paired with effortlessly edgy tales of narrative lyricism, ‘Out the Cage’ is the next huge single from the young, innovative artist that is sure to follow the same trajectory of success as its predecessor, ‘Game Over’ released late last year. A songwriter and recording artist, Laurel Smith has been writing songs since the age of sixteen. With each single she’s released, Laurel has continued to adapt her sound and aesthetic, consistently honing her craft and evolving her brand. She has carefully carved out her place in an ever crowded industry and proceeds to turn heads at every corner. “‘Out The Cage’ is a song about breaking out from your constraints, both physical and mental. Although it can be interpreted in any way, when I wrote it I created a story around a bored housewife, falling out of love with her husband, she fantasises about tying him up and leaving him to be a badass assassin in a video game type world, roaming the city at night and living a life of unpredictability and excitement”.

Hailing from the Philippines, singer-songwriter Laica is coming off a breakout 2020. Now the 21-year-old is gearing up for the release of her debut album I’m so fine at being lonely. The first single off the project, 'love u lately' is here, accompanied by a music video directed by Cooper Leith. 'Love u lately' is a relatable and infectious track. The song revolves around dating, understanding mixed signals, and the confusion that surrounds that world. Lyrically, Laica walks us through her experiences here, voicing her thoughts and frustrations about someone who she just can't seem to read right. Production-wise, the track is carried by a pulsing synth and a groovy bass. Together, the track feels upbeat. The vibe created by the production stands in contrast with the more emotional lyrics, making the track complex and interesting. The music video takes the concept of 'love u lately' to the extreme, in a fun and playful way. Laica is seen capturing her dream boy and attempting to use witchcraft to finally win him over. The video has a very DIY feel, which could serve to add to the reliability of the track. It’s a great extension of the track and taps into everyone’s most fantasy-driven realities. [via Earmilk]

At first, Emily C Browning wasn't sure what to think. Spurned, rejected, and cast aside, she was angry, furious, and - at times - utterly bereft. Usually she'd utilise songwriting as a vessel for her emotions, but when she was so conflicted, and feeling so negative, that it just didn't enter her mind. The Christchurch, New Zealand artist needed to take a step back, and when she located some perspective, she was ready to act. New single 'I Wasn't Into You Anyway' is a soaring slice of revenge, one that finds Emily C Browning taking full control of her music. Her first solo production credit, its reminiscent of those surging, empowering Maggie Rogers bops, while also containing similar DNA to Sharon Van Etten's work. Lyrically, it's absolutely her own creation, with Emily leaning on those often-hidden feelings. She comments... "Everyday for a month I wrote in my journal: I want to write a song about feeling rejected. But I couldn’t figure out how to keep it light and funny, it can be quite a painful topic and I didn’t want to sound too heavy. But I kept working on it everyday and came up with this song. I then spent another month recording it, trying to capture a sound that stayed upbeat and playful. I put so much time and energy into the song that I ended up completely forgetting about the person who rejected me in the first place (honest, I swear)." [via Clash]

Alt-pop force Holly Humberstone returns with new single 'Haunted House'. The songwriter's potent debut EP Falling Asleep At The Wheel was a sensation, racking up more than 100 million global streams. A bona fide phenomenon, Holly returns with a single that displays a more nuanced, reflective side to her work. 'Haunted House' digs into childhood, and looks at the way memory can frame the way we construct our identities. She comments: "I wrote this song about the old and characterful house I grew up in. The house is such a huge part of who I am and our family. With my sisters and I moving out and living separate lives, coming home feels very comforting and one of the only things keeping us all connected." Playing with concrete imagery and no small degree of invention, 'Haunted House' connects art to life in an enchanting fashion. She adds: "The house is almost falling down around us now though, and we’ve realised that pretty soon we’ll be forced to leave. There’s a cellar full of meat hooks and a climate so damp mushrooms grow out of the walls. Loads of people have probably died here in the past but I’ve always felt really safe. It’s like a seventh family member. It’s part of me." [via Clash]

In 2019, the Boston-born and Brooklyn-based indie rock album Crumb released their debut album Jinx. Crumb haven’t yet announced plans to follow that album up, but they’re definitely working towards something. Last month, the band came out with a one-off single called 'Trophy.' Now, they’ve followed that one with two new tracks, and they’re both winners. The new songs 'BNR' and 'Balloon' both fit nicely into Crumb’s comfort zone. The band’s sound is a rich, sophisticated take on psychedelia, with blissed-out lead vocals from Lila Ramani and with some great funky drum action. The band co-produced both songs with Foxygen’s Jonathan Rado, who’s done great recent work with people like Father John Misty and Weyes Blood and the Killers and who knows how to make oblique ’70s-style pop sound good. But Crumb themselves deserve a ton of credit for coming up with a sound this layered and weird. They’re the rare circa-2021 band who might remind you of Broadcast. In a press release, Ramani says, “‘BNR’ is an ode to my favorite colors. I had a weird obsession with those colors in winter 2018-2019 and felt like they would follow me around everywhere I went." 'BNR' also has a cool music video. Director Joe Mischo starts the clip off as a hallucinatory reverie, but he turns it sharply towards horror at the end. [via Stereogum]

Last year, Limerick poet/musician Sinead O’Brien released her debut EP, Drowning In Blessings. It was a unique work, a handful of songs featuring O’Brien’s sing-speak over spindly, post-punk guitars. It garnered O’Brien a bit of buzz overseas, and it left you wondering where she might take her music from there. Now, O’Brien’s back with a new song called 'Kid Stuff.' “‘Kid Stuff’ shows up all different tones on different days,” O’Brien said in a statement. “There’s something alive in it which cannot be caught or told. It is direct but complex; it contains chapters. This feels like our purest and most succinct expression yet.” Like Drowning In Blessings, 'Kid Stuff' found O’Brien working with Speedy Wunderground mastermind Dan Carey. Musically, it hints at a level up moment for O’Brien. There was something alluring and jagged about Drowning In Blessings, but 'Kid Stuff' places her usual approach over a song that is surprisingly groovy — maybe even a little danceable. It comes with a video directed by Saskia Dixie. [via Stereogum]

Das Beat are made up of German actress and vocalist Eddie Rabenberger and Agor of Blue Hawaii. The pair have just shared their first single 'Bubble' online now and are set to release their debut EP Identität on June 4 via Arbutus Records. Born in Berlin during 2020’s legendary lockdown, Das Beat seeks to blast both boredom and boundary. Dabbling in German New Wave, Italo Disco, Indie & Dance, their sound is unified by vocals from Eddie Rabenberger, sung in German and English. Amidst playful lyrics one finds a strong underlying pulse (das “beat”), pinning down the duo’s meandering atmospherics, dreamy synths, guitars and percussion. The duo is half-Canadian and half-German. Agor (of Blue Hawaii), moved to Berlin from Montreal in 2018. Eddie is a theatre actress originally hailing from a small town in Bavaria. Together they find a strange but alluring symbiosis - like Giorgio Moroder meets Nico, or Gina X Performance meets The Prodigy.

St. Vincent has fully embraced the ’70s aesthetic for her retro-sounding new record, Daddy’s Home. Now, she’s diving headlong into the animation styles of the era with the video for 'The Melting of the Sun'. Presented as a “betamax deluxe release” rip from “Candy’s Music Video Archives,” the clip blends live action shots of St. Vincent herself with the wavy, intermittent animation frames any Schoolhouse Rock student is familiar with. The psychedelic lines fit a song called 'The Melting of the Sun' perfectly, as do the drawings of the legends mentioned in the song’s lyrics like Nina Simone, Joni Mitchell, and Tori Amos. St. Vincent co-directed the clip with Bill Benz, while Chris McD provided the animation. [via Consequence]

Bay Area slowcore trio Sour Widows have released a new single, 'Bathroom Stall,' from their forthcoming EP Crossing Over, which they announced last month with its title track. The song’s build-up is subtle and poignant like Sufjan Stevens, but Maia Sinaiko’s evocative, sweeping vocals are one-of-a-kind, and the lyrics are graphic and tragic: “Do you remember it like I do?/ Your lips turned blue I had my fingers in your mouth/ And I couldn’t get them out.” Sinaiko said of the song: "This song is about a relationship I had with someone who struggled with addiction, who very tragically passed away three years ago while we were together. It’s about some moments we shared, and how it feels to walk around carrying that person and those experiences with me while the world stays normal. I wrote the song because I wanted to preserve and document what happened to me. to write out the scary stuff and just let it sit there forever. I think its funny that its called 'Bathroom Stall' and that it has that image in it: the song goes from heavy and dark to ordinary and totally pedestrian in a sentence, which feels absurd. And that’s kind of what it’s like to grieve. That’s kind of what’s hard to explain about grief, how absurd it is. Part of you goes to a different planet and part of you stays walking around like an alien on Earth, going to the bathroom and looking at the moon and shit." [via Stereogum]

As JUNO-nominated singer Kandle Osborne prepares to launch her new project, Set The Fire this spring, she shares the album’s third single, 'Misty Morning.' From being penned on a napkin while abroad to a Vancouver studio, 'Misty Morning' is a sonic journey that echoes soulful vulnerability and an honest reflection of realizing true love. For the video, Kandle reconnects with 'Honey Trap' director, Brandon William Fletcher, to create classic 40s noir-inspired cine-magic, filmed along the Vancouver coastline and within the lush landscape of Stanley Park. Kandle says: “‘Misty Morning’ is my first real love song, captured on a napkin while in Ischia, Italy when I was truly happy. My songwriting usually comes from a place of turmoil and catharsis, but this was simply a snapshot of a perfect, vulnerable moment. In recording it, I wanted to hide behind lush orchestration, but my producer/ best friend Michael Rendall had other ideas. He wanted to strip it down to just piano & a single vocal to take me out of my comfort zone and re-capture the open-hearted feelings I had while writing it. The song and the recording both hold for me a time when I dropped my guard for pure authentic love in spite of all my flaws and failures. In that moment, I felt my true value as a whole person for the first time.”

On 'Vertigo,' Alice Merton’s first single of 2021, the 27-year-old describes the long road from uncertainty back to self-confidence. It emphasizes the unrest that seizes her again and again, the thought: “Why can’t I just let it go?” These contradicting thoughts and emotions that are so familiar to all of us sum up to an overwhelmingly positive effect - 'Vertigo' leaves you empowered rather than anxious: A powerful indie pop arrangement with distorted guitars, plus Alice Merton’s crystal-clear voice. The result is reminiscent of the British Invasion, with no air of self-doubt. With its energetic live qualities, 'Vertigo' feeds an appetite for summer festivals and concerts that will definitely return at some point. Largely responsible for this is the Canadian producer Koz, a multiple Grammy nominee, who has worked with Dua Lipa ('Physical') among others. Here, too, he adds on to what has already made Alice Merton stand out from the crowd in the past - her classic pop appeal - with an uncompromising and indie attitude. This enables Alice to take another big step: She equally encourages a shaken generation and herself that there will be easy summers again. That you can dance again and lie in each other's arms. That it is absolutely fine to have many facets, to not always be clear, and that strength and weakness are not mutually exclusive.

Canadian artist Olivia Lunny's new release 'Sad To See You Happy' is a shamelessly poppy track centering an acutely relatable break-up narrative. The Canadian artist follows up her breakthrough success with a bouncy cut to soundtrack 2021’s long-awaited spring. There's a relatable tale of break-up at the heart of the gloriously poppy new single, belied by percussive instrumentation that creates a warm, nostalgic feel. [via Line Of Best Fit]

After sharing the single last month, Charlotte Adigéry is now revealing the brand new video for ‘Bear With Me (and I’ll stand bare before you)’. The first new music since her 2019 debut EP Zandoli, Charlotte says of the video, “The video is about being confined thus confronted to the way we live. The cruel irony of having the privilege of standing still, questioning and observing my life in all safety while others are fighting for theirs. On the other hand, the video is about trying to stay sane while feeling that the walls are closing in on you. Embracing boredom and finding joy in the little things in life.” Director Alice Kunisue adds, “When I listened to Charlotte’s song and what it meant for her and Bolis, I wanted the video to visually encapsulate that feeling of being stuck inside and confronted to our deeper selves while paradoxically sensing the chaos going on in the outside world without being able to do anything about it. Choosing to film an apartment room from one single angle was a way to reflect that narrowness of thought that we all experienced, but also a constraint that allowed us to explore and develop visual ideas within a narrow system, in a way having to think only inside the box, which artistically was a fun challenge.” [via DIY]

Millie Turner has shared a video for ‘Concrete Tragedy’. It’s a cut from her upcoming mini-album Eye Of The Storm, set for release on May 16, which also features a rework of breakout song ‘(Breathe) Underwater’. “This video is a visual representation of dancing on your own,” she says of the clip. “Combining the many parts of who we are when we’re by ourselves, I wanted it to feel like you’re entering a world of imagination that comes alive when we express ourselves.” [via Dork]

Doja Cat and SZA have come together for a new single called 'Kiss Me More.' When the song was announced Wednesday night, the internet flipped out, which is to be expected with these two — especially Doja Cat, who is regularly going viral these days for all kinds of reasons. When it comes to collaborations, she always finds the best people. That includes Saweetie, who appeared on Doja’s recent 'Best Friend' but then claimed that it was released against her wishes. Given SZA’s long history of public frustration over TDE Records holding back her new album, she is probably happy to have any new music out. Despite recent single 'Good Days' hitting the top 10, her restless fanbase is still awaiting a follow-up to 2017’s iconic Ctrl. 'Kiss Me More' is the first single from Doja’s new album Planet Her, scheduled for release this summer. It returns to the disco vibes of Doja’s #1 hit 'Say So,' this time with no apparent resemblance to any Skylar Spence song. [via Stereogum]

[aion-rsa]

Castlevania Season 4 Ending Explained

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This Castlevania article contains spoilers.

Netflix’s Castlevania comes to a close in season 4. Trevor and Sypha head to the city where the war with Dracula began, while Alucard finds new purpose beyond his castle. And when a new threat arises that’s bigger than anything they’ve ever faced, the heroes have to band together once again to save humanity.

The penultimate episode of the series feels like a final boss fight, and it’s only fitting that everyone converges at Dracula’s castle for the fireworks. Here’s what happened in the series finale and what it all means for the characters:

So who was Varney really?

There’s more to Varney of London than what we see in the first couple of episodes of the season. Varney’s plan goes far beyond conquering Targoviste and killing Trevor Belmont and Sypha Belnades. He actually turns out to be the main villain, and the final boss, of the season.

Castlevania season 4 drops its big twist in episode 9: Varney reveals that he’s actually the Grim Reaper, a vampiric being who feeds on the souls of the dead. His plan to resurrect Dracula and Lisa Tepes inside the Rebis is truly twisted. By combining their souls, which have been stuck in Hell all this time, inside one body, Death hopes to drive Dracula mad, which will cause the reborn vampire to go on a murderous rampage that will engulf the entire planet. This would mean an endless food source for the Grim Reaper. Fortunately, Trevor and his friends are able to stop this madness just in time.

Why did Isaac spare Hector?

Ever since the death of Dracula, Isaac has been on a mission to avenge his master, punishing those who betrayed the Lord of Vampires. At the top of his list are scheming vampire queen Carmilla and Hector, a fellow Forgemaster who was manipulated into turning on Dracula. While Isaac vanquishes Carmilla and her minions during an exciting battle sequence in episode 6, he decides to ultimately spare Hector despite his role in Dracula’s fall.

It seems that by the time he launches his attack on Styria, Isaac has had a change of heart, wanting only to stop Carmilla from subjugating the world. While he once felt nothing but contempt for humanity, he decides to do the right thing and give mankind a chance at peace. With Carmilla gone and her forces depleted, the world can finally begin to rebuild.

But why does Isaac to let Hector live? For one thing, he recognizes that Hector has known nothing but suffering since he betrayed Dracula and was enslaved by Carmilla and her sisters. Isaac also realizes that Hector was manipulated in the first place, unknowingly helping Carmilla solidify her power. Isaac chooses to carve a new path for himself and allows Hector to begin to do the same, a happy ending for the two Forgemasters.

What is a Rebis and why did Saint Germain betray his friends?

The Grim Reaper’s plan is to transport Dracula and Lisa Tepes’ souls out of Hell and into the Rebis, also known as the divine hermaphrodite in ancient alchemy. The Rebis is a symbol of the “great work,” the ultimate goal of the alchemist, which involves “spiritual transformation, the shedding of impurities, the joining of opposites, and the refinement of materials,” according to Learn Religion. In ancient alchemy, the Rebis represents “a reconciliation of spirit and matter” and has “both male and female qualities.” The “great work” is also used to describe the alchemist’s mission to create the philosopher’s stone, a mythical substance that was said to turn base metals into gold or silver.

This is a bit outside my area of expertise, but as the Rebis relates to Castlevania season 4, it goes back to Count Saint Germain, who is an alchemist who has strayed from his path to find the woman he loves whom he lost in the Infinite Corridor. After helping Trevor and Sypha stop the cult in Lindenfeld from resurrecting Dracula, Saint Germain is finally able to travel back into the interdimensional portal.

But instead of his beloved, Saint Germain encounters a fellow alchemist in the corridor (actually Death in disguise), who tells him that the only way for him to find his lost loved one is to achieve the great work, in this case creating a literal Rebis that will act as a vessel for the souls of Dracula and Lisa Tepes.

How did Trevor survive his fight with the Grim Reaper?

Trevor and the Grim Reaper’s final battle atop of one of the towers of Dracula’s castle can only end in death. Unfortunately for Trevor, he’s tremendously outmatched, as the Reaper’s final monstrous form easily overpowers the vampire hunter. It’s only through sheer force of will that Belmont is able to land the final killing blow, but it comes at a cost.

When Trevor stabs Death in the head with the dagger, the villain explodes in a bright flash of light, seemingly engulfing Trevor in a ball of fire that he couldn’t have possibly escaped. At least that’s what Sypha, Alucard, and Greta think after the blast.

But, just as a heartbroken and pregnant Sypha is about leave the new village of Belmont, Trevor reappears, half-dead on horseback. How the hell did he survive that explosion?

Well, the explanation is a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment: right when Trevor is about to land the killing blow, the camera cuts to a dying Saint Germain, who eyes the key to the Infinite Corridor one last time. According to Trevor, Saint Germain opened the portal one last time, just as the explosion rocked the castle, transporting the vampire hunter to safety in the nick of time. Just go with it.

Read more

TV

Castlevania Season 4 Easter Eggs Explained

By John Saavedra

Games

Assassin’s Creed: What the Netflix Series Can Learn From Castlevania and The Witcher

By Matthew Byrd

Who is Trevor and Sypha’s child?

Trevor and Sypha are having a baby! In the original continuity, Trevor and Sypha have two children, one of which becomes the parent of Christopher Belmont, the protagonist of two Castlevania games for the Game Boy, 1989’s The Adventure and 1991’s Castlevania II: Belmont’s Revenge.

Meanwhile, in the Lords of Shadow alternate timeline, Trevor and Sypha give birth to Simon Belmont, the protagonist of the 2013 Nintendo 3DS game Mirror of Fate. But in the original timeline, Simon is also the protagonist of the very first games in the franchise, the 1986 original and 1987’s Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest for the Famicom and NES.

Depending on which timeline the animated universe wants to follow, Trevor and Sypha’s offspring could lead to either Christopher or Simon. That said, there’s always a chance that a future Castlevania Netflix series could simply introduce a new, never-before-seen Belmont character, the son or daughter of our our two heroes!

Why did Lenore kill herself?

Lenore struggles to find her place among the vampire sisters. Carmilla, Striga, and Morana have turned to war, with Carmilla planning for world domination. Lenore’s role is diplomacy, which is the perfect skill set for tricking Hector into eternal servitude but not the one needed in a time of war. She feels left out and useless.

Things only get worse when Isaac attacks their castle, killing Carmilla and imprisoning Lenore. But unlike Hector, who seems content to be with her, even as he schemes to resurrect Dracula and help topple Carmilla, Lenore doesn’t want live the rest of her eternal life in a cage. She chooses instead to die, walking into the day for the first and last time.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

How are Dracula and Lisa alive?

While we know that the Grim Reaper and Saint Germain were able to use the Infinite Corridor to free the souls of Dracula and Lisa Tepes from Hell, it’s unclear how they were able to find new bodies and resume their lives as flesh and blood. In an interview with Screen Rant, executive producer Kevin Kolde explained what happened after Dracula and Lisa were freed:

“So, Lisa and Dracula are pulled out of Hell by Saint Germain using death magic, and they are put into the body of this Rebis where they’ll be trapped, and Death hopes that they’ll be very unhappy and kill lots of people. Lots of souls to eat. Trevor destroys the Rebis using holy water, so their souls are dispatched from the Rebis. That’s essentially how they get back from Hell to the real world. And they go [back into their own bodies]. It’s death magic.”

It’s canon that Dracula is returned to life every couple generations, so it makes sense that he’d be back, and while it seems like he’s getting a happy ending in the finale scene of the series, Castlevania fans know that happiness is not meant to last in this universe…

The post Castlevania Season 4 Ending Explained appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3bsu577

[powerdragonmoon]

Claws and Effect

Chapter 1 - No Touch Me

Kacchakoweek2020 - Day 1: Villian AU

Bakugou Katsuki has a second quirk but no one knows. He’s determined to keep it that way. Bakugou Cat-suki AU

I’m dipping into the BNHA fandom with Kacchako week! Wish me luck!! I have two stories I’m going to try to write snippets for using the prompts (this first one is a pretty loose interpretation of Villain AU, but bear with me!) 

(ao3 link) 

Uraraka yawned as she shuffled down the stairs, making her way towards the common room. She reached a tired hand up to her disheveled hair in an attempt to clear it from her face and quickly gave up. It was either very late at night … or very early morning. Uraraka wasn’t too sure but she was awake now and hoped a quick stroll to the downstairs kitchen for a glass of water would help put her back to sleep. 

She paused at the threshold to the common area, noticing a light of the television flickering across the room. 

There was a cat on the couch. 

Uraraka blinked. 

It was the cutest cat she had ever seen. 

The cat’s eyes met hers. Its wide eyes narrowed and it looked almost offended to be interrupted. Was it watching the TV? she wondered as she turned to the television. It was playing a cooking show. On the screen a chef skillfully cut through the body of a red snapper, expertly butchering the fish. 

She was either dreaming or just really really tired. Whichever it was she burst out laughing, bringing her hands up to cover her mouth—pinkies up so as to not add to the absurdity of the scene and float to the ceiling. Of course a cat would be watching a show about sushi. 

When she glanced back at the cat, it was now definitely glaring at her. Uraraka’s eyebrows rose in shock.  

Had Koda brought in another pet? She didn’t recall hearing about it, but she thought about his cute little bunny made her wonder if a bunny and cat would be able to get along. Just the thought alone made her squee to herself just imagining how adorable the interactions could be! 

Collecting herself with a wide smile, she slowly approached the couch and the cat immediately hissed. Uraraka balked at the tiny creature. It was so small, it seemed more appropriate to call it a kitten if anything. It’s pale fur was long and wispy, and it looked so soft, despite the way it spiked chaotically in clumps along its small frame. It must’ve been about seventy-five percent fur; a little cloud of fluff. She wanted to pet it so bad.

Uraraka wasn’t too well versed with the various types of cat breeds. She had friends back home with pet cats but she never had one. When she was younger she had asked her parents over and over for a pet, a cat being at the top of that list, but it was always something that they ever got around to, most likely due to their financial situation and Uraraka eventually stopped asking. 

Not wanting to spook the little kitten, that looked so small on the large green couch, Uraraka tip-toed her way towards the kitchen. With the light of the television and the brightness of the moon shining through the window, she was able to make her way through the dark room. Still, the cat kept its eyes on her, tracking her movement. Its pupils were so wide and dilated, Uraraka couldn’t even make out their colour. 

She couldn’t help herself, even with the intimidating look on the cat’s face, she just had to pet it. Her hand reached forward gently, hoping it was welcoming as she made her way back to the couch. 

“Pspspspspspsps” she whispered. “Here kitty, kitty.” 

The cat stood up, hackles rising. It’s little tail puffed out behind it as she inched closer and closer. 

Perhaps she was testing her luck. The poor little kitten was probably acting out of fear. It was just so teeny tiny. Of course it would be frightened by some stranger approaching it. 

So it shouldn’t have been a surprise when the kitten swatted at her. Its sharp little claws scratched across her palm.

“Oh you little—!” Uraraka jumped back. This was definitely not a dream as a sting of pain tingled against her skin. She let out a string of curses, not having to hold back as no one but that damn cat was there to witness her unfiltered language of profanities. Perhaps it was a habit she had picked up on the many visits she had taken to her parents construction sites or maybe she had been hanging out around Bakugou too much and had somehow managed to have absorbed the violent boy’s choice expletives without even noticing. 

Either way, the cat seemed absolutely ecstatic at her reaction or it was just preparing to bite her as it bared its teeth at her in a way that looked like a rueful grin. 

“Little fucker,” Uraraka glared at it, muttering under her breath as she moved to the kitchen. “You’re lucky you’re so damn cute!” she said over her shoulder. She turned on the lights and went to the sink to run her hand under some water.

The scratch wasn’t very deep in the end, just a superficial wound that looked more painful than it actually was. The cat was just skittish, maybe it was just a stray that had somehow found shelter in their dorms. Poor thing. 

Feeling a little (a lot) guilty, Uraraka opened the fridge, trying to think of an appropriate peace offering for her new acquaintance. She poured some milk out into a bowl before grabbing herself a glass of water.

When she turned back towards the living area of the common room she realized the TV was off now. Had she imagined it being on? 

“Kitty,” she whispered, looking at the empty couch. “Cute kitty! Where’d you go?” 

She continued pspspsps-ing around the common area, bowl in hand but the cat must have left or was just really good at hiding. Sighing, Uraraka eventually gave up, yawning as she stood up from looking under the dining tables. 

“Okay kitty,” she called once more, placing the bowl on the floor. “I’ll leave this here for you! Good night!” 

Uraraka made her way back up to her room, pausing before she reached the hall to the stairs. She glanced down at her hand and the little cuts running perpendicular to the lines of her palm, sprinkled with small beads of blood. 

She closed her hand into a fist to stop the bleeding, it would be easy enough to clean up once she got to her room. The memory of the cute, little kitten still fresh in her head, she wondered where it had gone. Was it scared and lonely? Was it lost? Even as tired as she was, she felt a sudden flow of determination run through her. She was going to try her best to figure it out (after a few hours of sleep). But paramount above all else she had one main goal in mind. 

Next time she saw that cat, she was going to pet the hell out of it.     

-------------------------------------------------------

Bakugou waited, counting out the minutes after he had heard the stairwell door finally close. Once he was sure she was gone, he stretched, leaping out from behind the TV and resettling himself on his spot on the couch. 

As he moved, the crack and shift of his bones echoed with an unbearable itch under his skin. All he knew was that in this form it was minutely easier to deal with, especially late at night, when sleep evaded him. 

His mistake was thinking that he would be the only one up at this hour to come down to their dorm’s common area. He could only hope that Uraraka would wake up in the morning with no memory of their encounter. But with his luck, it would have been more appropriate for his shitty secondary quirk to transform him into a black cat at this point, but no he couldn’t even have that. Instead his quirk allowed him the power to shift into a small as fuck, shitty, little kitten. How lame. 

His stupid tail flicked in annoyance and he glared at it. In this form his sweat wasn’t even the same, completely negating his explosion quirk. It was awful. He lifted up a stupid paw, hating the stupid little toe beans that faced him. He groaned, but it came out as a pathetic mewl, further adding salt to the wounds on his ego.  

Finally deciding he wasn’t going to stay in the common room any longer, Bakugou stood up on his four legs, jumping lithely from the couch. When he rose back up, he was on two legs: two human legs. He rolled his neck, flexing his shoulders as he tried to feel at home in his own body. The odd itch in his bones that had manifested within him along with this lame secondary quirk just years ago had only increased day by day. Nothing he did—short of transforming into his kitten form—seemed to quell the ache. And he refused to have to rely on being a cat for hours every day. He had more important shit to do, especially if he wanted to be the next Number One Hero.  

But it didn’t matter, the pain was manageable for now. He was just being a weak little bitch tonight and had given in despite his better judgement. No matter how bad it got there was no way he was going to let anyone know about his shitty, kitty powers. The embarrassment alone would ruin him and becoming Number One Hero with kitten powers? Villains would laugh their asses off. No one would be able to take him seriously.  

He walked over to the bowl of milk Uraraka had left on the floor. She was such a slob. Granted he may have gone too far in scratching her, but he had warned her with his hissing. It was her fault if she didn’t know when to back off. 

What was she expecting? For him to suddenly warm up to her with the offer of milk? To lap at the bowl like some common house pet? Fuck that. Besides, he tried to avoid eating while in his cat form anyways, he didn’t want to risk any dietary limitations in this puny body and he sure as fuck wasn’t about to eat cat food or some shit. 

Whatever. 

He just needed to stop using this quirk. Just ignore it until he forgot about it. And luckily Uraraka would forget about this whole night too. 

Grumbling to himself, he poured out the milk into the sink, washing the bowl quickly. Once his hands were dry, his palms started sparking out of irritation. Bakugou made his way back to his room, knowing he had a few hours of rolling around restlessly in his bed until dawn. 

Surprisingly, that night, sleep wasn’t as difficult to reach as he had expected. In those few short hours, he dreamt of soft hands and padded fingers running through his fur and for a moment, the ache in his bones was gone …  

Only for it to come back tenfold in the morning when he awoke. 

[recentanimenews]

FEATURE: Why You Never Get Sick of Seeing Char Aznable Ruin Garma’s Life

  Today marks infamous Gundam villain and completely-innocent-man Char Aznable's birthday. What better way to celebrate than showcasing the Red Comet's love for good-natured betrayal? While Char might currently hold the title of anime’s most prolific back-stabbers, one classic case of betrayal continues to stay fresh in fans 'minds: the tragic tale of Garma Zabi. It's time to take a trip down memory lane.

  Even Pretty Hair Won't Save You From Sweet, Sweet Revenge

  During Mobile Suit Gundam’s original broadcast, little was known of Char or his backstory. Char’s initial appeal was undoubtedly his indisputable combination of fearlessness and mystery. Unlike all the other Zeon goons, Char wore a mask for undisclosed reasons, further adding to his allure. Besides a chance encounter with Sayla in Episode 2, everything and everyone about Char and his relations was totally up for interpretation. Until Gundam’s fifth episode aired on May 5th, 1979. Suddenly, Char had a friend and ally. His name was Garma, and he had nothing to blame except the misfortune of his birth.

  Char and Garma return to a hero's welcome

  “Re-Entry to Earth” begins a series of events that both lead to Gundam’s first major arc involving Char requesting the Zabi family's aid, Zeon’s most powerful asset. Up to this point, everything had been a game of cat and mouse between Char and White Base — an obvious fight between good and “evil.” However, the introduction of Garma signals the series pivoting from one-and-done episodic conflicts. Garma is not just a bad guy, but a bad guy with an implied backstory related to Char! And yet, something seems off. Char isn’t just playing dirty against obvious good guys or lasers now. He’s playing the political game.

  After several failed attempts to capture White Base, Char offers Garma a chance to claim Amuro’s Gundam for himself under a strategic guise. Garma naturally takes the bait, depicted as selfish and vain in ways Char’s charisma can control. While both are hungry for clout and power, Char ultimately emerges the victor by guiding Garma’s forces directly into White Base’s line of fire. Garma crashes to his death in a fiery blaze, only barely putting together the pieces when it’s too late. This is when Char reveals his true intent: to destroy the Zabi family from the inside out. This classic betrayal isn’t just about Garma, but as Char announcing himself as a whole new class of anime villain with unprecedented nuance.

  Innovating the meaning of "friendly fire" since 1979

  Variations on a Theme

  While Garma’s death sets off a chain of increasingly escalating events in Mobile Suit Gundam’s Universal Century timeline, this is specifically an early series watershed. And, of course, it’s also a huge meme. Theatrical screenings of 2016’s Mobile Suit Gundam Thunderbolt: December Sky film included a short animated PSA depicting Char and Garma on their cellphones reminding guests to mind theater etiquette. The two tease each other with catchphrases from Mobile Suit Gundam’s tenth episode, “Garma’s Fate.” The phrase “Hattana, Char!” or “you betrayed me, Char!” has become relentlessly parodied in everything from merchandise and boxed cookies to official parody manga like Mobile Suit Gundam-san. Garma’s classic quote has now become shorthand for Char (or anyone else) unexpectedly screwing someone over.

  Local man ruins everything (Source: Gundam 0079: The War for Earth, Screenshots taken by Blake Planty)

  Perhaps the strangest depiction of Garma’s betrayal is the 1996 FMV game Gundam 0079: The War for Earth. While exclusively released in Japan, this title used American actors and roughly adapted the first ten episodes of Mobile Suit Gundam. The title included many English-language firsts for this franchise entry specifically — including a delightfully hammy rendition of Garma’s famous last words: “Char, you craven traitor!” whereas the Japanese-dub preserves the classic line. Other versions of Garma’s final blazing moments of glory include the long-running strategy game series Gihren’s Greed. The 1998 title and its sequels depict a more mature Garma attempting to pacify Zeon if the player manages to have him survive Char’s sabotage. The 2001 Playstation 2 game Mobile Suit Gundam: Journey to Jaburo provides one of the first accurate depictions of Garma dubbed in English, this time translating the famous line as: "Char, this time you double-crossed me!" While these variations on canon never change the essential arc of Char’s first major betrayal, they nonetheless suggest a long-lasting fascination with a one-note character. With each revisit to classic Gundam, inevitably something new is always added.

  Garma after Char gives him the bad news (Source: Mobile Suit Gundam: Journey to Jaburo, screenshot by Blake Planty)

  Getting Back to Basics

  Garma’s popularity could possibly be attributed to how unexpected Char’s betrayal was at the time, especially for a pioneering series like Gundam. Garma’s always been a plot device, albeit one that got a surprising amount of development (five whole episodes!) before his demise. It wasn’t until classic Gundam character designer Yoshikazu Yasuhiko began serializing Mobile Suit Gundam: The Origin in 2001 that Garma finally got his narrative due. In this adaptation of the original series, a new arc was added about Char's previously mentioned academy days. Unlike the previous iterations of Char’s epic betrayal, this re-telling serves double-duty in developing Garma and Char’s shared megalomaniac tendencies. Char encourages a notably docile Garma to start a student uprising and in the process, plants all the right manipulative seeds to make his master plan work years later. It’s mind games all the way down.

  Garma speaks to Char after the Battle of Loum

  In an interview regarding his performance as Garma in The Origin’s OVA adaptation, voice actor Tetsuya Kakihara commented, “If I ended up portraying Garma as that epitome of a ‘spoiled kid,’ he'd end up a truly saccharine character.” Kakihara added that, had he played Garma without “a bit of mischievousness” Garma wouldn’t believably buy into Char’s plans nor “come together” as a character with a strong sense of pride. The Origin’s depiction of Garma would have to match up to Shuichi Ikeda’s reprising his original role as Char with the audience very well knowing how it all ends. In other words — portraying Garma as two-dimensional and vain as he was in 1979 simply won't do when everyone knows the beats. The Origin isn't exactly coy about this, either. After Garma happily introduces himself to Char as his new roommate, the scene immediately cuts to an explosion on a battlefield as Char laughs. Best. Friends. Forever.

  Mood 

  Mobile Suit Gundam is a story that never gets old. No matter how many times it’s told, it’s always exciting to see how classic material gets reimagined over the years. While Garma’s betrayal might’ve been shocking the first time, it’s now just another part of the ebb and flow of Gundam lore. Yet, there’s excitement every time you know it’s coming — the same way audiences still anticipate Darth Vader telling Luke he’s his father. When "the moment" happens, it's all the sweeter for being the culmination of something bigger than itself. It’s not just a win for Char, but a win for Gundam’s talent for making nearly 41 years of twists feel as fresh as ever.

  Who are your favorite Gundam besties? Let us know in the comments below!

      Blake P. is a weekly columnist for Crunchyroll Features. How come Casval and Char are never in the same room together? His twitter is @_dispossessed. His bylines include Fanbyte, VRV, Unwinnable, and more.

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[moonsp1r1t]

8 Tips for writing an effective redemption arc (featuring Zuko and Catra!)

1. Consider what kind of redemption arc you want your character to go through

Generally speaking, there are two different kinds of redemption arcs your villain can go through; sacrifice arcs and temptation arcs. I will describe both of these, but ideally your character will have pieces from each in order to create a nice, well rounded arc.

A sacrificial redemption arc is pretty easy; towards the end of your story, game, or other writing, your character goes through something of a “waking up.” They realize that what they thought of events or their surroundings is wrong, or realize that what they thought they want isn’t really what they want OR need. Another way they could go about this is by realizing that through their ambition (or other motivation) things had gotten too far. For example, throughout She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Catra’s goals have surrounded getting the things she feels like she has been deprived of her whole life; within the first season, this involves getting power over her abusive mother figure, Shadow Weaver. She then continues her climb for power within the Horde, but in the final season as she sits in a space ship and watches her home planet burn, she realizes that her push for power has gone too far and sacrifices herself for one of the main protagonists so that she could escape. It is essential that characters have a chance have a moment of realization in which they not only realize they’ve been evil or cruel, but also that they need to make amends in one way or another.

Temptation arcs are when villains waiver between good and evil throughout much of the story. They waver between good and evil, typically committing both acts that are beneficial to the protagonist(s) and against them before eventually permanently sticking with the side of good. This form of redemption arc involves lots of internal conflict within the villain. The second half of Book Two in Avatar: The Last Airbender is an excellent example, with Uncle Iroh really pushing Zuko to consider what HE wants and thinks his destiny should be rather than the destiny that Fire Lord Ozai had put upon him. Zuko constantly grapples with this and does both good and bad things that affect Team Avatar, such as freeing Appa underneath Lake Laogai and siding with Azula during The Crossroads of Destiny. An arc in which a character solely moves upwards or downwards is not that interesting. In order to tell a more powerful story that keeps the audience engaged, there has to be some variation- after all, if it’s all going one way, it’s predictable, and no one cares to see what could happen next.

2. Establish why your villain is evil in a way that makes them sympathetic

Villains who are evil for the sake of being evil are boring. They need to have a reason to be evil and to be motivated towards evil especially if they’re going to eventually turn towards the side of good. If a character is good and they’re just with the bad guys for no reason, their switch over to the side of good is ineffective and boring in a “why didn’t they just do that in the first place” sort of way.

When writing an effective redemption arc, your audience needs to be sympathetic towards them in one way or another. For both Catra and Zuko, one of the ways that the writers made the audience sympathetic towards them is through their abusive parental figures in Shadow Weaver and Fire Lord Ozai. The reasons that Zuko and Catra do the things that they do in opposition to the protagonists is because of the actions of their abusers.

Zuko is going against Aang, Katara, Sokka, and Toph for much of the series is because he has been lead to believe that the only way to gain the love and approval of his father is by capturing the Avatar. Catra, however, takes a different approach; while she craves the feeling of being loved and belonging, she has been put into a powerless position by Shadow Weaver enough times that she desperately wants power over her and works to climb through the ranks of the Horde in order to do so. A major part of their redemption arcs is when Zuko realizes he doesn’t need the love of his father and Catra realizes that her ambition has put her entire planet in danger of being razed by the dictator of the rest of the known universe.

Rising up against an abusive parent or an otherwise tragic backstory doesn’t have to be the only way to make a character sympathetic, however. There are lots of ways to make a character sympathetic.

3. Give the audience a reason to root for the villain too

If you’re planning to give a character a redemption arc, it’s necessary to make it so that they root for them from time to time. That way it will ensure that the audience doesn’t hate them when the time comes for them to join the protagonists on the side of good. If they don’t like them, even if the redemption arc is well written, it will seem forced in a certain way. This is usually accomplished by the presence of another villain.

For example, while Zuko is certainly the most prominent villain of Book One of ATLA, Admiral Zhao is arguably the main antagonist of the season. Fire Lord Ozai hadn’t even been introduced officially yet (besides being mentioned) so as the man that had the goal of destroying the Northern Water Tribe by killing the Moon Spirit. He repeatedly attacked Team Avatar throughout the season, with much higher firepower, more brutality, and lack of regard for civilians. Zuko, however, while he had similar goals in regards to capturing Aang, was much more “reasonable” when it came to other things, such as keeping his promise to leave the Southern Water Tribe alone if Aang agreed to go with him in the second episode. We also see Zhao being cruel to Zuko in multiple instances, even getting into fights. Because Zhao is more brutal and is motivated by greed over honor, the scenes in which Zhao and Zuko are fighting, the audience is rooting for Zuko.

Similarly, at the end of the first season of She-Ra, Catra fights against Shadow Weaver; in the scenes in which they portray the two of them interacting previously, Shadow Weaver is cruel to Catra, constantly scolding and threatening her. Despite both Shadow Weaver and Catra being Adora’s enemy throughout the series, in this fight the audience is genuinely rooting for Catra in this fight because until that point, Shadow Weaver has been the more cruel and abusive villain.

4. Keep up with them even when they’re not in direct contact with the protagonists

This may seem obvious, but if you’re going to give a character a redemption arc you and the audience need to keep up with them even when they’re not interacting with the main protagonists. It will not only allow the audience to see the progression, but it will also keep the audience from being confused when they show up suddenly on their side. It’s perfectly reasonable (and expected) for the protagonists to be confused, but the audience shouldn’t share that same confusion (unless you’re planning on having the villain’s redemption arc be described in flash backs or have them explain it in a long monologue).

For Catra, there are many episodes when we see her without Adora, Glimmer, or Bow, instead just being with Scorpia, Hordak, and Entrapta. This way we are able to keep up with her when she’s not fighting with the Rebellion, allowing us more insight into her thoughts, feelings, and relationships. We are able to see her drive people away in her desire for power, not realizing that she is looking for acceptance all along.

Likewise, Zuko in the beginning of Book Three doesn’t interact with Team Avatar; instead he is in the Fire Nation Royal Palace, with anything he could ever want, realizing that he is still unhappy. It would have made no sense from the perspective of the audience if the last time they saw Zuko was when he betrayed Team Avatar and his uncle in Ba Sing Se and then he just showed up after the Day of Black Sun and offered to teach Aang firebending.

5. Introduce a good influence

The villain needs something or someone that can help them inspire change within. It isn’t just enough to vow to stop committing evil and then all is swell; they need to genuinely learn from their mistakes and commit to change within. This catalyst can be something they haven’t previously encountered (giving them a new perspective) or something else that pulls on their heartstrings. Either way it’s something that needs to get their attention.

Zuko would not have been able to change as much as he did throughout his redemption arc if it weren’t for Iroh. Iroh is a great influence on Zuko, constantly encouraging him to think for himself and make his own decisions. Iroh wanted Zuko to be able to decide for himself what his destiny is instead of just fulfilling the destiny that Ozai had put upon him. Zuko also was able to gain perspective when he and Iroh are disguised as refugees, seeing that the citizens of the Earth Kingdom are not only real people, but also that they are afraid and hurt by the Fire Nation instead of like the propaganda that the Fire Nation is bringing greatness to the world.

For Catra, in a certain way, one of the final catalysts to her finally joining the side of good is Queen Glimmer. When they are both trapped on Horde Prime’s ship together, Catra realizes that she is the one that has brought him and his galactic empire to Etheria, which he has every intention of using as a weapon against the rest of the universe. She feels alone and isolated and the only person she can talk to about it from her own planet, who has also contributed to the arrival of Horde Prime in her own way, although she is being treated as a prisoner. Glimmer begs Catra to help her and, upon realizing the destruction she has wrought and all the bad things she has done, Catra does help her and states that she wants to do one good thing in her life. Catra knows that she has done awful things in her life but this is one of the first times that she is able to really admit to herself and others that she knows that much of what she is doing is wrong.

6. The reactions of others

If your character has been an antagonist for a long time, it makes absolutely no sense that your other protagonists would accept them. It takes a long time to earn people’s trust so even if a character does something dramatic like self-sacrifice many characters should be suspicious of them. It’s unrealistic to expect everyone to be buddy-buddy immediately.

After Catra sacrifices herself so that Glimmer could escape, Glimmer and Adora want to rescue her, but the others were quite skeptical, with Nettossa and Frosta actually attacking Catra until Adora vouched for her. Similarly for Zuko, he had to prove himself to the original trio by helping Aang learn an ancient technique of firebending, helping Sokka rescue Suki and his father, and helping Katara find the man that murdered her mother. Trust is not easily given, so if your ex-villain has been going against your protagonists for several seasons, trust is not going to just be given to them so easily. There’s bound to be a lot of distrust from those who have known them in the past, but some are going to struggle with that doubt more than others. It’s important to actually consider your characters’ personalities and rationale and stay true to how they would actually think, along with the logic behind their decisions, in regards to your ex-villain’s redemption.

It can also be helpful to add in some jokes made by the ex-villain or at their expense in order to alleviate tension or show that they’re starting to get along better with the other protagonists (ex: “That’s rough buddy” or “I can’t believe the whole time you were trying to kill us you had the cutest sneeze of all time!”)

7. Realizing they’re in the wrong should not be the climax of their arc

Your character realizing that they’re wrong should not be the final step of their redemption arc; in fact, realizing they’re in the wrong should be among the first steps of their redemption. The redemption arc isn’t about realizing that they’ve been the bad guy all along and that’s... it. There’s a certain level of atonement that needs to be done in order to be redeemed. At the very least the character needs to realize why they’ve been wrong after realizing that they’re wrong.

After Zuko realizes that he is wrong for trying to capture Aang and that the Fire Nation is wrong for prolonging this war, he takes steps to make things right. He confronts his abusive father, leaves his home voluntarily, and helps to train Aang in firebending among other things, eventually allowing them to defeat the Fire Lord. Zuko even apologizes to the entire group for his prior misdeeds.

Catra also has to work for her redemption. She realizes that she’s in the wrong, but even afterwards she persists because she believes that staying with the Horde is the best way that she can get back at the people who have hurt her, namely Shadow Weaver (for her abuse towards her) and Adora (for leaving her behind to join the Rebellion). It isn’t until she is captured by Horde Prime that she makes the decision to atone for what she has done by rescuing Glimmer and sending her back to Adora. Even after Catra is rescued, she is still making efforts to be better than she was before, saying that she’s working on controlling her anger.

8. Sometimes it’s not meant to happen

Sometimes characters can’t be redeemed. Genocidal dictators, fascists, and abusive family members are generally figures that should not be redeemed. Imagine the main evil antagonist of one of your favorite book series, television shows, movies, or video games announcing he/she/they have seen the light, apologizes for everything they’ve done, paying for funerals, reaching out to the families of those they harmed or killed in an effort to make amends or at least. They’ve promised to seek out religion and take up crocheting instead of killing and go to therapy.

It’s just not realistic. It’s a good thing to want to believe that there’s good in everyone and that everyone can be redeemed, but sometimes they just can’t. For some people, it’s not possible to come back to the side of good, especially if they don’t want to. Being good is a conscious choice that people have to make and sometimes people and characters will stick with being bad.

Not just anyone can have a redemption arc, which is why for the characters that are able to go through redemption arcs, it’s something fantastic when done right. Don’t try to force characters who can’t be redeemed to go through redemption arcs and save it for the characters that deserve it.

Have fun!

8 Character creation tips

8 Relatable character tips

[rhetorical-ink]

Rhetorical Ink Reviews - “Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba” Season 1 - Episodes 21 to 26

** STEAMING SPOILERS BELOW ** 

Okay, so my brother and I finished Season One of Demon Slayer last night and holy cow...okay, so I get the hype now. I do. I can see why people love this show and it’s quickly become one of my favorite new anime series to come out recently. Let’s finish up this review of Season One with: 

My Top Ten Thoughts on Demon Slayer: KNY, Episodes 21 - 26: 

10. Rui’s backstory is truly a tragic one, especially when he talks about hindsight and not realizing his parents’ true intentions and the actual bond they had. Which makes it all the more beautiful to see him reunite with them, and the revelation that no matter where they go, heaven or hell, they’re going to stay with their child. They did care for him, which was all he ever wanted. It’s a very touching scene to end Rui’s backstory.

9. Tanjiro continues to be “Best Boi” and a literal saint when it comes to trying to help demons transition after death into a peaceful afterlife. It’s an amazing contrast to how he handles Shinazugawa later on, where he literally asks to headbutt him two more times to make up for how many times the jerk stabs his sister. 

Which, let’s talk about Shinazugawa, because I’ve not been that anxiety-ridden watching an anime in a while. Spiders? Gross. Muzan randomly killing and turning people into demons? Neat. This white haired cheese grater showing up and stabbing our precious Nezuko, trying to taunt her into attacking him? Thank goodness Tanjiro gave him the vibe check he deserved. 

8. I also want to point out the cool “blurring” that’s being established between human and demon. Tanjiro’s plea to Giyu, saying, “Just like me, they were human, too” is probably one of the most powerful and telling lines of the show. Tanjiro knows what he’s done to seek retribution and a cure for his sister’s condition, and he knows what it’s cost him. 

Not only that, but we see how the Hashira, the very top of the Demon Corps can act as cold and harshly as demons. Even appearances start to blur, as we’ve had demons like Tamayo and Yushiro who look and act like humans, and we’ve had characters like Shinazugawa and the “Master” of the Demon Corps who act, and look, like demons be on the side of humanity. It’s interesting to say the least, and I feel it’s only going to get expanded upon moving forward. 

7. Shinobu was a character that definitely intrigued me in the last few episodes, and I was skeptical of her character. But this last mini arc really made me appreciate her. Oh, she’s devious, to be sure. But she has a very clear sense about her in terms of what she deems morale and what she finds problematic like Shinazugawa’s attitude, which good. I appreciate that she actually does a lot to literally save Tanjiro in these last few episodes and help him move forward. 

It’s also interesting to discover that she is emulating her deceased older sister, when we see it’s all a persona, specifically in the flashback moments of her being younger. Plus, girl is manipulative as all get out, tricking Inosuke and Zenitsu into training like that. 

Oh, and does she secretly like Giyu? Is that a ship that will happen down the road?

6. The Hashira give me such Bleach Captain vibes, it’s probably the coats and the swords, but I appreciate that they’re actually not quite the same set up and structure. I really like all of their distinct personalities, but Muchiro might be my favorite so far...there’s just...something about his aloof personality that reminds me of Zenitsu, and it probably means he’s secretly a badass and I’m all ready for it. Close second would be the Love Hashira, because she just looks fun and I’m intrigued to know what her abilities are. 

It is surprising that there are so few of them left, and I’m curious if the “Master” position is something you’re born into? They all revere him...but...why? 

5. Also, speaking of questions, HOW does the Master know Tamayo? He reveals that to Tanjiro for a reason...but what? Clearly, the Hashira do not know about Tamayo, because based on how freaked out they were by Nezuko, there’s no telling how they’d react to a several hundred year old demon that apparently is working potentially alongside demon slayers...curiouser and curiouser...

4. While I love that Inosuke has calmed down a little bit, and maybe been humbled by this last battle...Zenitsu...my dude...can we all just admit it:

Zenitsu’s VA is having the time of his life.

SERIOUSLY, Episode 23 had me in tears, laughing, because of how just ridiculous his chattering was. I don’t know how the Voice Actor for Zenitsu did it, but some of those noises and ramblings in that episode were NOT human and were beyond hilarious. I’m so glad our boys are going with Tanjiro and have at least caught up in the total concentration breathing. 

3. I wasn’t sure if there’d be any shipping in this show for real, but we definitely got a taste of it with the proper introduction of Kanao. 

Her backstory is so tragic and cruel, but it kind of fits that she’s an emotional foil to Tanjiro. She’s been through so much trauma as a child, she’s conditioned herself to not feel anything, to the point where she doesn’t truly think for herself or with her heart. 

And yet, Tanjiro is so polar opposite, where he’s grown up with a loving family and home life, and is so emotionally connected with those around him...I’m just saying, they make an odd, but very fitting pair together. And you all saw those sparkles when he told her the “trick” for getting her to listen to hear heart with the coin? 

I really hope she gets involved in the story later and meets back up with Tanjiro; she can definitely hold her own so there’s no worries, there! 

2. Okay, by and LARGE, the best part of these last few episodes was the encounter in Muzan’s “Lair.” From Muzan being straight up drop dead gorgeous as a geisha (Muzan really said trans rights, didn’t he?), to being absolutely INTIMIDATING and again, proving he’s a threat as a villain (he’s basically the Alucard of this series at this point), that whole opening in the final episode was jaw-dropping. The animation, the eerie atmosphere, everything...gorgeous and effective.

My only concern was with him essentially “dismantling” the lower six moons, five if you don’t count Rui, it seemed like the author was essentially cutting a large part of storytelling out of the picture. Going into this series and hearing of the Twelve Moons, I thought, “Okay, we have twelve bosses to get through...” but now, no. We really only have Muzan, his SIX main Moons, and then of course, the one lower Moon that lived and got to “Get him some Sip” before vanishing to reappear at the episode’s closing. I’m fine with it; it was a very cool, unexpected plot development and will definitely make the story more concise, but it also felt like the author “trimming away” at some of the potential story. I won’t complain, though, if it means we get a tighter, more dynamic narrative; rather than a bloated, too-stretched one. 

1. And finally, we have the magical train! I love that of COURSE Inosuke thinks it’s a giant beast, and while at first you think Tanjiro is using some psychological trick to convince Inosuke it’s a “guardian deity,” it’s also apparent that poor Tanjiro doesn’t entirely get the technology, either.

As Zenitsu points out, “Country bumpkins,” indeed.

It’s also a nice way to close the season; having them off on a mission onto a train that’s been hassled by a demon, with a Hashira that Tanjiro conveniently needs to talk to aboard, and one of Muzan’s newly amped-up lieutenants aboard too...after Tanjiro, of course. It’s a fated meeting that is being set up to be the plot of the movie coming out this fall, and I. CANNOT. WAIT. 

If you all haven’t watched this series, DO IT. It’s one of the best new anime to come out in a long while and I am eagerly anticipating the movie this fall and Season Two. 

Review of Episodes 1 - 5

Review of Episodes 6 - 8 

Review of Episodes 9 - 14

Review of Episodes 15 - 20

[softcoregamer]

DRAGON QUEST XI S: ECHOES OF AN ELUSIVE AGE - DEFINITIVE EDITION

I've never played a Dragon Quest game before, so all I had to go on with this game was the pretty looking graphics and charming character art by the Dragonball guy, which- combined with having a hankering for a JRPG, a genre I haven't played since probably the Digital Devil Saga games (minus an abandoned most-of-the-way-done playthrough of SMT3 and a partial of one of the Megadimension Neptunias) was enough to sell me on it. I'm having a tough time determining if it was worth it.

(spoilers)

The story starts off very weak. Your glowing hand marks you as the chosen one, you have to collect glowing orbs to defeat the dark lord. It's like the story of a generic videogame you'd see in the background of a movie. They do throw in a little novelty to keep you on your toes- you present yourself to the king and he throws you in the dungeon, you go back to your hometown and travel back in time for some reason- but I really never warmed to the setting. It's just a collection of cliches and cute gimmicks, like the town of people who speak in haikus, the town of people who speak in rhyming couplets (you're stuck with these people for the bulk of the exposition at the start of act 2, which is a nightmare) and the town of- ugh- Italians. There's no sense of these places being places. It's just a nice pleasant fairytale kingdom of the kind that's normally mentioned in Snow White or whatever as the place the handsome prince comes from, except here you spend dozens of hours trudging through it looking for glowing tree roots and orbs. The big problem in Gallopolis is that the sultan's son isn't brave enough for god's sake. Acts 2 and 3 pick things up, and there's some neat reveals- I like that the lil red star you've been seeing in the sky right from the start was the stain of the original hero's failure to slay the villain, literally hanging over the entire setting all this time. Also the annoying act 1 scene where you get handed the name of the villain and an orb quest in an exposition dump is retroactively improved by the fact that the exposition isn't quite correct. Act 3 reintroducing time travel and actually being thoughtful about it was welcome as well, but sadly that has the effect of making you redo story points you already did since, logically, you're back in time to where you haven't done them yet. Sometimes this comes across as getting a do-over to get a more positive outcome for something that previously ended more tragically, in keeping with the way time travel is explained in-universe as essentially reloading an earlier save (and, as revealed in the end, continuing in a separate save slot). The 8th party member's act 3 quest is a standout here. In reading discussion of the game I've seen people insist on referring to this character as 8, presumably to preserve the plot twist of his existence, so I guess I'll do it too. But more often than not, act 3 quests consist of just doing the same stuff as act 2 again, in a somewhat more curt manner. This sticks in the craw after so much of act 2 already consisted of just doing the same stuff as act 1 again. The party members aren't much better, for the most part. The first three people you meet all say "ah, you're the Luminary, I was sent to help you" and there isn't much to them beyond that for a long time. Sylvando has a lot of personality, which is probably partly why he's become the game's big meme character, but it gets grating and he is insanely trite. The Dark Lord takes over the world and purges the unclean, and Sylvando's overriding concern is that he wants people to laugh and smile more. It's like he takes advantage of the fact that I need him for his boat to get my goat by acting like a fucking teletubby. Things pick way up when you meet Rab, and the 8th party member is genuinely really good. Even the early-game party members end up having their moments (Erik's backstory was pretty fun) but the game really doesn't put its best foot forward with these characters. Not that it needs to; for the first few I was just glad to be getting some help in combat. The combat is excellent in this game, when it gets going. I played with the "draconian quest" tougher enemies mode on, and I turned it off right at the act 2 end boss. The difficulty curve flowed really well this way, with act 3 enemies not feeling noticeably less tough than "draconian" act 2 enemies. The abilities and spells you get are carefully balanced so that it's very difficult to put together a perfect 4-person party, you're always missing something. This means the fact that you can change your line-up midfight isn't just a nice quality of life feature, it's a potentially vital mechanic. They tread a fine line where sometimes needing to swap people out during the battle doesn't mean the characters themselves feel useless; everyone is capable of some extremely tough stuff. And on the other end of the scale, enemy damage is heavy enough that buffing your attack and using big-damage abilities vs healing or defending can be a properly difficult choice; a heavy hit or a big heal at the right time can turn the tide of an entire battle, as can your big hitter suddenly getting put to sleep or your healer getting knocked out. Again, this is all with the caveat that I had "draconian quest" on for the first 2/3 of the game, from what I've heard combat without it is insanely easy. My big gripe with the combat is that there's very little in the way of tooltips. What's this enemy's magic resistance? Does my Sap have a better chance of landing if I up my Magical Might, or does that just increase spell damage? Does Oomphle affect Quadraslash? If I increase my agility will it go up by enough that I can take my turn ahead of these enemies? Does agility even do that? Does using abilities and spells mean I go later in the turn order vs generic attacks and defending? You just have to guess at all this; the wiki has some info on enemy stats but I don't know where they're getting it from other than datamining. There's an entire bestiary with almost no useful information which is functionally just a model viewer for all 700+ enemies. The only way to know anything is to experiment, which I guess at least adds some purpose to combat when you've filled out the bestiary for an area but still have to grid encounters- which will be required at some point, because fighting is the only way you get xp and money. There is also too much RNG. Critical hits being rare and certain attacks having a chance to cause Confusion or whatever is fine (although I'd prefer for attacks which are labelled as having a chance to inflict status effects to actually inflict the status effect way more often than they do) but why the fuck does the resurrection spell have a 50% success rate? Under what possible circumstances would I be using that spell other than needing my dead teammate back right now? Same for all the abilities on the skill tree that say "doesn't connect very often, but when it does it can cause a critical hit" OK that "CAN" is telling me that this ability which doesn't often connect won't even necessarily crit if it does. Why would I choose this ability? To handicap myself? How is this going to help me defeat the Timewyrm? All that said, when the combat is good it's really good, and whenever I lose a fight I'm thinking "I can win that next time if I do XYZ". The 2D battles are much less fun because the pace is much slower and there are no cute animations to liven it up, but it's always satisfying when the "flash" of an enemy taking damage becomes the "flash" of them disappearing, and you know you have slayed yet another blob. Non-combat gameplay is a mixed bag. The early-game fun of running around looking for new enemies to fight and fill out the bestiary wears off hard once act 2 begins and everything is either a reskin or a glowing-eyes "vicious" version of something you've already fought, and many maps are fairly sparse with just the odd treasure chest and locked door to liven up your path to the next area. That said, there are also several areas and dungeons which make a minigame out of traversing them; the Eerie Eyrie and the Battleground were standouts for me. Especially the remixed version of Eerie Eyrie you go to later on, where you get a flying mount to ride around. Crafting is surprisingly involved, with a whole minigame around it and hundreds of recipes to find all over the place. In most cases you can just use money in lieu of ingredients, which means minimal farming is required to get a lot out of the system, and the recipes with ingredients that can't be bought feel special instead of bullshit. In terms of items and recipes there really is a deluge of content- there are recipe books all over the place, with new ones available even in the last couple of maps that open up in the entire game, and there's an undeniable cookie-clicker rush you get from getting better at crafting and taking something you could barely get to +1 all the way to +3. I play games like this as a magpie, accumulating items with nice pictures and effects that make me do a 😲 face, and DQ11 certainly delivers. This even extends to character advancement, with Hidden Goodies incentivizing picking skills you might not want otherwise, and entire new skill trees opening up as quest rewards.

Overall, DQ11 is a good combat system with loot and progression systems that are well-executed enough to feel rewarding after 100 hours, all wrapped up in a style and tone that is not up my alley at all. A good litmus test for how much you'd like the game is probably: watch this scene and if you think it's the most epic thing you've ever seen then Dragon Quest 11 is for you.