#ehren my man
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cracktopus · 14 days ago
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Fuck
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vivalarubyy · 24 days ago
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brb missing them way too much rn
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signedwill · 7 months ago
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Jackass: “Things To Never Say To Someone Who Just Came Out”
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★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
bam margera
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wee man
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april margera
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danger ehren
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dave england
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steve-o
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phil margera
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johnny knoxville
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ryan dunn
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preston lacy
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chris pontius
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jeff tremaine
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chillinparker · 7 months ago
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incredible watching experience
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jackassbrainrot · 7 months ago
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reader who’s kind of like pamela anderson😳? popular for being a bombshell and her style and also just happens to be one of the cuntiest members of jackass
a/n: I have to many thoughts to make it into a cohesive fic sorry but!! got about a million hcs for you! hope you like em! she is everything I want to be
bombshell jackass member!!
you met spike while you were working on a movie together
you became friends quickly and started hanging out outside of work
he told you about a new tv show he was working on, asking you if you'd like to be involved in a few skits
of course you said yes
as soon as you walk on set, all eyes are on you
everyone starts bombarding spike with questions
"what's she doing here?" "how'd you get her to agree to this?" "she's out of our budget!"
the initial shock is quickly replaced by their shock at how willing you are to try any stunt
tremaine loves how much footage he's getting out of you
"I think we have a new main star"
knoxville doesn't even get offended, just scared that you're going to die as you step on a skateboard. in heels. blindfolded.
you get absolutely destroyed the first time you try that
they all think they just killed the fucking movie star
but you get up, laughing your ass off
"I HAVE to try that again!"
the guys are both scared and kind of turned on by you
the media is even more scared and turned on
everyone being confused as to why an accomplished actress is running around pulling pranks on random people
soooo many headlines
being besties with stephanie !!
and hating that you became "the jackass girl" without her after her injury
doing gnarly tricks in full glam
being the best and worst role model for young girls
showing that you can be both feminine and badass but also influencing them to do dumb shit
always outshining the guys at premiers and parties
the guys being really protective of you whenever interviewers are being sexist
you still do other movies and shows but you always come back to your little band of idiots
they're like your guard dogs
who needs a bodyguard when you have a bunch of professional idiots that don't mind getting hurt around you all the time
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godsworstson · 9 months ago
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face your fear
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vomelets · 2 years ago
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kunntzsstuff · 11 months ago
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think abt these pictures on the daily
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httpsyoungho · 2 years ago
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happy birthday to my babygirl 💅🏼
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godsworstson · 7 months ago
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the hot one and no screen time. all the plot relevance my beloved <333
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tag ur fave mines the only normal person and the gremlin
(insp)
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cracktopus · 15 days ago
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HES SO KISSABLE
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sucker4sixx · 9 months ago
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20 minutes in hell
Recycled from 2023!
Plot: halloween party fun!
Warnings: smut/closet sex/protection/public sex
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The time was 8pm when you entered vinces halloween house party, the stink of men and cigarettes danced around the house like it had made its self quite comfortable. You open the front door to see many girls in mini skirts and crop tops strutting around probably trying to be sexy mince or something.
You where begged by a mutual friend ehren to come so he would have someone to talk to, you and ehren where best buddys and he always enjoyed having you around. You werent so close to vince and you definitely didnt like his friend, nikki sixx. Something about him annoyed you, low hygene, loud voice, a "im a sleaze" personality and many more could be the reason but even just seeing him boiled your blood.
You wore a black lacy dress and a cheap witch hat with a little bit of makeup.
You weaved yourself through the croud into the living room where vince the.. whatever he is and ehren the zombie where sitting, vince didnt look to intrested in the conversation, he was too busy looking down the girl who sat on the floors cleavage. "Hey ehren" you tap his sholder, the goofy looking boy turned around smiling brightly "hey your here finally!" You took a seat "hey vince!" He turned round fast at the mention of his name, not seeing you arrive "oh hey yn! Take a seat sure!" he said smiling at you, he turned round to check more girls out.
Ehren unwrapped a 8 pack of beer he had waiting in a bag at his legs and you shared them talking about any stuff you could. Soon enough "hey sixx! Come sit down. Where have you been?" You smelt his arrival before he had even walked in the door, ehren saw your face sour and sighed knowing it had killed your mood. Nikki dressed as satan glanced at you and turned to vince "what the fuck is the scottish prick doing here?" He tried to whisper but he said it loud enough for you to hear "fuck you maybe learn some basic hygiene then we can talk" he darted you a look and stuck the middle finger up "pathetic" you mouth at him. You both turn around and start talking to your friends again "what is it with you two?" Ehren said cracking another can of beer "he thinks hes better because he's famous well he can go suck a fat fucking cock im telling you man" ehren spits out his beer laughing "wouldnt be his first time" he adds making you laugh more.
After you guys finished your 4 cans each ehren headed to the toilet (meaning he will be away for while checking out the house) and you went to the kitchen to get more drink.
After 20 Scuse me's and sorry can i get buys you finally arrived in the kitchen, not too busy but definitely wasnt empty. You opened the fridge to look for more alcohol "whats the deal? You hate me so much that your following me around now?" You head shoots up and you turn round to see the tall black haired man looking down at you with a can of beer in his hand "what the fuck? No im getting drink?" He rolls his eyes "yeah sure. Ive heard that one before" your face went red from anger and embarrassment
"im not fucking following you the only thing following you is the trail of flys and stench" nikki scoffs "i dont smell that bad" you turn round to grab a can of beer from the fridge and notice him smelling himself when you turn back around "now arse whole get out my way and let me back into the living room" he gets visibly more angry "i dont fucking smell bad" his grip tightens on his beer can "whatever makes you sleep at night now let me past" he doesnt budge so you push him making him stumble backwards and head back to the living room.
You sit on the couch alone waiting for ehren to come back. 20 minutes. 30 minutes. 40 minutes where the fuck is he. You find vinces home phone and call him, he picks up after a few seconds
"Hello?"
"Ehren where the fuck are you?"
"I umm..."
you hear a girl giggle in the backround and snap your phone shut, prick. Oh well lets 'mingle'? You get up from your seat and walk around the rooms, none of the men catching your eyes since they all looked the same.
You open the basement door and hear tommys distinct laugh, you got exited and sprinted down the stairs "tommy!" He was resting on the couch dressed as a cowboy and sat up when he saw you, smiling wide "hey darlin!" He got up and gave you a hug
"howve you been?" He looked down at you walking over to the couch "pretty good, yourself?" The slinky man flopped down onto the couch "pretty good!" A fake cough sounded from the couch opposite, nikki. "As i was saying before i was very rudely interrupted" he gave you a harsh look and you found a seat next to tommy. Vince, nikki and a two of their stoner friends where sitting on the couch opposite from you and you sat on a couch with tommy and mick (dressed as a vampire). You forced yourself to listen to nikki talking about some girl that tried it on with him, picking at your nails in boredom.
The room went silent and the feeling of all the boys thinking of something to say filled the air "how about, we play spin the bottle?" Tommy said, all your heads turning go him "i mean we will need a few more ladys but sure!" Nikki said enthusiastically. "ill go get some" vince stood up, walking out to the party.
Nikki chugs the beer bottle he was holding since everyone else had cans, he put it down and you all sat round in a circle waiting for vince to return. "Man im so exited" tommy said breaking the silence, you looked up at nikki panicking at the thought you could get him, he caught your eye "stop drooling over me" this made the boys turn to you noticing your face go red
"was just looking at your fly buddies" mick laughs alot at this one, when mick laughs you know its good. Vince returned with the 4 sluttiest looking girls he could find, more beer and slash, he loved to party with the band "found this douche wandering around upstairs!" Slash waves at you all and heads over to nikki to sit "hey dude!" Nikki smiles at him. After we all settled round a circle you were sat next to slash and mick, nikki and vince sitting straight across from you and the other girls scattered inbetween the rest.
Round one- mick and vince, a quick peck and alot of laughter after
Round two- tommg and girl number 1, she blushed but he gave her a light hearted smile back
Round three- you and girl number 4, the boys got exited but you werent giving them what they wanted so you gave the girl a quick kiss.
"Ugh this is boring" vince complained and everyone nodded "how about seven minutes in heaven but heres the twist here me out ive been thinking of it for awhile you all looked at vince equally as contused, nothing that came out his mouth was predictable "so the men switch clothes like we throw them in a pile cover our eyes and just wear what we lift and the girls go shove on my clothes, i have a bunch of old halloween masks and we play the game in silence" you all went silent thinking of his stupid idea, not so stupid to be honest. "Im in" you say and everyone started agreeing "okay so the masks are down here ill get them out and leave four at the door, girls go get changed"
You trailed behind the rest of the girls up to vinces room noticing the party was dying at the absence of the boys. You walked into the room and the stink off aftershave lingered in the air, grabbing a pair of baggy black joggers and a baggy black shirt that was crumpled. You entered his bathroom that connected to his room to get changed and shoved on your outfit as quick as possible to get out of the akward situation, you put on the shirt and it read "i love vince neil" now you look like a slut for him. Great.
You left without the girls and headed to the basement door where you could hear fumbling but no words, looks like the boys where taking this seriously. You waited till the noise of clothes getting shoved on stopped and opened the door to see four rubber halloween masks, bunny, gorilla, bird and a cat. You grabbed the cat mask shoving it on fast, the faint smell of smoke from the inside combing through your nostrils, you walked down the stairs greeted by a dog, horse, another bird, another cat, mouse and a zombie. When the girls came down you all silently sat in a circle and one of the girls span the bottle fast, leaving it spinning for some time. It landed on the other cat and he span the bottle again just as fast, you watched the bottle go round and round and round almost becoming hypnotised. It slowed down and your breath caught your throat as it landed on you
"WHY ME" you screamed in your head standing up slowly with the cat who sat only two people away.
He took your hand gently and led you to the closet in the extension room in the basement. You entered the pich black closet and stumbled over a few shoes as your hands found the mans shoulders, he was tall and quite wide built. You both took off your masks still unable to see eachothers faces, the mystery man grabbed your face and started kissing you roughly it scared you at the beginning but you realised he really knew what he was doing so let him beat up your mouth with his own. As you started making out it became more clear who it was, tall, built and smells nice. Its slash. You didnt mind this, slash is hot so you continued, smiling lightly. He removed his shirt and started slipping off yours, you gasped softly not sure if this was the original plan but you never got bitches so once again let it happen. Slash started feeling your breasts through your lacy bra making you whimper softly and tangle your hand in his long hair, he slowly unclipped your bra and started licking your nipple and playing with the other in his hand. Your moans become louder as he speeds up, stopping to unzip his jeans and you sigh at the loss of contact. The tall man finds his way onto the ground, his jeans and pants removed. You take off your joggies and pants, not sure if you wanted to do it with slash since he might have multiple stds but before you could think of your next plan he got out a condom, you could only tell it was one from the small light that reflected off it. He whimpered softly as he slipped on the condom as you sat on his legs watching him, taking in this weird moment. Your about to have closet sex with slash hudson.
Slash gently moves you onto your back and taps your thigh for consent to eat you out, you hummed a permission and he went straight for it. His tongue darting between your folds and your clit, your back arching at the sudden movements. He pulled your legs closer to him and started going faster, sticking his tongue inside occasionally as you moaned loud grabbing his hair. He brought his finger in and started circling your clit while licking your entrance, his other hands holding your wrists together to get some sort of control. Your moans became uncontrollable and desperate as you met your high, he noticed and continued what he was doing with intent to let you finish first. A minute later you where a moaning mess, cumming into his mouth. Hes an expert at this shit. You sat up and he lifted you onto his lap, his hard dick resting against your stomach as he moved his hand over your forehead to clean it of sweat.
You moved your hand down and started feeling his covered tip and he rested his head against your sholder, his dick was really hard. You started pumping him slowly at the base before lifting yourself up, letting your pussy hover over his dick to tease him and to ask him for consent. He moved his dick to where your entrance is and grabbed your hips pushing you down harshly "oh fuck" you both moaned out, you paused hearing a voice that didnt belong to slash and he paused too clearly hearing your accent. "Y/n?" the voice said cowardly
"NIKKI?"
You shrieked, trying to get up. He held your hips down, his hard dick still inside you "cmon its only fair you finish me off since i made you such a riot" you stuttered and froze looking down at where the sleazy idiots voice sounded. He didnt sound so harsh and as much as you hated to admit it you where enjoying youself so you did as he asked, bouncing softly building up a pace. Feeling slightly turned on by the fact your fucking the guy you hate the most. He let out small whimpers and groans and you grinded against him moaning yourself "your so good when your mouths shut" he moaned out "shut up prick" you kissed his jaw line and continued grinding on him feeling yourself approaching your second orgasm.
He turned on the closet light that hung from a string next to him. You felt exposed but you where fascinated by him, his face red and stray hairs sticking to his forehead "fuck you look amazing" he said smiling and tilting his head back further. He grabbed your hips and started fucking into you relentlessly as you practically screamed in pleasure, resting your head on his sholder. "Nikki im so close" saying his name felt like needles in your mouth and he rested his head on your sholder slowing down "for someone who hates me so much you are really liking this huh?" Your face went somehow more red as he stopped still inside you, angry at him for ruining your orgasm "what the fuck are you doing!" you puzzled
"edging you? What does it look like?" You brows furrowed "fine let me go ill go finish myself off somewhere else with someone else" you tried to move your hips off him but he only held them tighter holding you down, the tip of his dick brushing your cervix "no. Im finishing" he sounded more angry but it just turned you on more, he slowly pulled out a little and thrusted back in, doing tiny fast thrusts staring right into your eyes.
Sweat rolled down his face and his green eyes became wider as you finished, your pussy throbbing around his dick. Before he could moan you attached your lips to his, kissing as he moaned into your mouth "fuck fuck im really close" he whimpered, still thrusting into you. He grabbed your hips and started fucking into you as hard as he could like you werent even there, you where his own little toy. He muttered stuff like "fuck you feel amazing" and "holy shit" as he came into the condom, his body softly pulsing as he rested on your sholder, panting for air.
After two minutes of resting against eachother naked you stood up slowly, in pain, seeing the white balloon that covered his dick. He rested his head back and you took the condom off him carefully being careful not to spill any cum on him, his head darted up at your sudden kindness. You just dumped the used condom in the bin that sat in the corner, you sat next to him, both of you still naked "so um, you got any tissues? Im dripping down here man" he laughed and picked up the 'i love vince neil' shirt, wiping you clean "thanks nikki" you said shyly "hey its alright, thanks too" you both looked down at your legs. Two minutes later you started shoving on clothes again, nikki giving you his clean shirt to wear and you just shoved back on the joggies leaving him shirtless.
You exited the closet to see a whole group of people sitting around. Shit. You both forgot it was seven minutes in heven not 20 minutes in hell. The croud went silent as they saw you "holy fucking shit" tommy said breaking the silence "that sounded hot, when is it my turn?"
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olivia091108 · 1 year ago
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could you do anything danger ehren nsfw PLEASE THERE IS NONEEE or sfw if your not comfy with nsfw
Danger ehren headcannons.
You both met on a double date
The other couple walked out halfway through theirs
At first he thought you were way too good for him
And he thought you did it for the fake
But after you saw him eat the yellow snowcone and still kissed him
When he gets hurt he’s Belice he will be getting smothered with kisses
When the other boys pick on him too much sometimes you just can’t hold back and end up yelling
Made a few appearances in the film obviously
His nickname for you is babe and maybe sweetie
You call him honey
Don’t usually get in arguments
But when you do he usually apologises first
If anyone flirts with you
He will usually just sulk until you go over to him and prove that he’s the only one you want
carries a picture of you in his wallet
When he’s drunk he never shuts up about you and will show EVERYONE that pic
At party’s you sometimes leave early just so you can watch your’e favourite reality shows
His favourite film genre is romcom
His favourite is Notting Hill
Dave walked in on you both watching it once and ehren got very embarrassed but Dave sat down and joined in
He’s an awful cook but always tries even when it’s burnt you still eat it so he knows you appreciate him
He doesn’t hate pda but he only really kisses and has a hand on your ass nothing more
He always has cold hands
He will put them up the back of your’e shirt to annoy you
I feel like he would be a switch
Fav position probs be missionary so he can see your face
Ass man 100%
He likes to receive but will always give it you want
Sorry my first time writing for ehren I hope I did ok
-liv
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sergeantjessi · 15 days ago
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"für Jens-Jens" ICH SCHREIE wie fühlt es sich an die witzigste person zu sein???? asdfghj
(und omg die MÜHE.... rain ily und ich bin froh dich in der tumblr uni kennengelernt zu haben <333 AAAAA)
((Und omggg hübsche Handschrift :o))
Ich bin tatsächlich eher Team Femininum :D Finde aber auch, dass die/das Nutella beides gut geht. Der Feind ist der Nutella. >:(
Fröhlicher 14. Februar. :]
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AAAAHHWGWGWWIDBAKDHDH!!!!!!!!♡♡♡ :''D!!!!!♡♡♡!!!! AAA!!!! WIE SÜẞ OOHHH!!
In Gedanken geb ich dir eins von diesen Schul- Valentinsherzen o7 warte warte
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Hust hust Handgeschrieben sieht das natürlich besser aus hust
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Übrigens bin ich Nummer 1 Nutella Genus Neutrum Verteidiger /j ich finde die/das Nutella hört sich beides gleich richtig an, ich persönlich benutze 'das' mehr tho :D
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godsworstson · 9 months ago
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bam's disclaimer for jackass number two
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kunntzsstuff · 11 months ago
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MY MENNNN
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