#eh..besides legal stuff i guess

[kidfur]

man i am Glad i took my real age out of my pinned and bio.. i mean if someone Needs to know i dont mind answering it privately but man its just nice to hand wave it off as an adult and make sure people my Self age is the more important one

[minthe-lover]

You know... I think a big part of how lo fans think critics are haters is cause they take a warpped view of are arguments... Useally instead of taking them as a collections of this that add together to something bad.

Like take the argument with Persephone being written and presented very child like and it's kinda creepy.

She's extremely tiny compared to most of the people in the story

She's often drawn with childlike proportions

She is extremely young compared to the rest of the cast

She is incredibly naive/acts childish

Hades is often doing father like this for her, ie opening her bank account.

She is sexualized for all the things above, attention being drawn to how tiny and naive she is.

Now besides the last point most of this stuff on its own.. yeah that wouldn't be a big deal, some of them are still eh but wouldn't be that bad. It's the culmination of everything together that's telling. Most lo fans will see the first point and go "Ugh lo haters are so dumb.. they think persephone being short makes her a child guess they think short women irl are children to"

It's the type of counter argument that misses like 90% of what we're actualling arguing along with making both wrong conclusions about are end point (we aren't arguing that Persephone is actually a child) nor are we trying to apply this to actual women. It ignore at least what i think is the biggest point, where Persephone is heavily sexualized for all these things.

Christ like the fourth scene in this whole fucking comic is hades, Zeus and Poseidon talking about how they would have sex with Persephone cause she's small... How can you see what and not even pause for a second and go "huh.. that's a weird thing for this comic to talk about in a neutral light".. like we don't even have hades as a foil in that scene to tell Zeus that's he's being gross.. he gives up on that and insteads joins in.

And like... Persephone is like the whole fire emblem trope of the toddler that's canonically five thousand years old taken to like.. it's least icky and least noticeable point. Like persephone is 18-30 throughout the story so if a legal age.. but then acts and is presented like a much younger teenager.

[buzzyandbadatmath]

Some quotes from some of my fics. Some are funny some are sad etc

Spider-Man mha fic where reader and Reader is Denki’s adopted sibling

• “Can I see that?” “No.” “Denki, let me see.” “No,” “Lemme seee,” “noooooo,” “Is ‘no’ the only word you can say?” “…” “yes…?”

• “Why would I stop when it’s so fun to push your buttons?” “I’ll push you off a cliff.”

• “Come on guys, it’s not weird to keep childhood toys. Besides…”“It was a gift from my mom.”“Wait, that can’t be-“ “SIKE! I bet you feel real awful now!”

• “Reminds me of how Sato’s always baking stuff, it’s a hobby but also helps out with hero work.” “Yeah, same with (Y/n)’s tech skills and their gadgets.” “I guess, but that’s a geek hobby, not as cool as break dancing.”

• “Oh yeah, he likes you.” “Liar!” “Why would I lie to you about something like that?” “Cuz it’s exactly the kind of shit you’d pull to get me to embarrass myself!”

• and at some point Reader calls Tokoyami Edgar Allen Crow

Matt Murdock x Sorcerer!reader

• “Stark has a whole database of vigilantes, calls it the ‘rainy day’ file. They also contain their identities.” “What- a whole database of vigilantes and their identities?” “Eh, it’s not that impressive, his AI did most of the work creating it.”

• “It was nice, having a heart-to-heart with a wizard wasn’t on my bucket list but.”

• “what is so hard to wrap your head around, you’ve dealt with this kind of stuff before,” “Yeah, well, immortality, as crazy as it is on its own, is a huge step down from something trying to ‘destroy the fabric of our reality.’” “And since you said our reality, you’re probably insinuating the existence of other realities which is a whole. other. ball park.”

• “We protect this world from countless inter-dimensional threats and you somehow managed to get yourself into a legal dust up with the CEO of a wine distribution company, landing you in the position where you would need a lawyer.” “Everyone needs a lawyer.” “Yeah, but you would think your problems are a little higher on the list than a corrupt business owner.”

Matt x Spider-Man!Reader

• “Batter up!” The sudden wave of familiarity hit Matt like a truck, and suddenly he was hearing your heartbeat, smelling your scent, hearing your voice… and getting kicked in the gut by your foot.

• “Hey! Let’s play a game, it’s called ‘point your weapons at the intruder.’” “Yay! You guys won.”

• “Fucking- Matt!” “Sit still.” “It feels like your-“ “It’ll go by quicker if you would just sit still.” “I don’t know, it seems like you enjoy touching my naked torso- OW!”

• “What are you doing walking around?” “I’m fine now, a little sore, but fine.” “What, you just healed overnight?” “…yeah?” “Courtesy of the radioactive spider.”

[pink-chevalier]

Previous — Next Transcript Below ↓

Sammy: *sighs* Yeah, I gotta wait like a week or so for I can my new glasses. 

Simon: You're so calm about it. 

Sammy: There's no point in getting angry. 

Simon: I guess, but I would be upset because now I'm legally blind without them. 

Sammy: Eh, it's alright. 

Simon: Why do I get the feeling you're only saying that 'cause the girl was cute.

Sammy: Shut up. Besides, I can still see some stuff, but not in 4K HD vision. 

Simon: Damn, you were seeing that good? 

Sammy: Yup, but enough about my lack of glasses. Are you feeling okay, Simon?

Simon: Yeah? Why? 

Sammy: I'm only asking since you look miserable. 

Simon: Have... Have you ever gotten the feeling that things are too good? 

Sammy: Yeah. I get that feeling a lot in English class. 

Simon: I mean outside of school. Like life starts treating you too good, and you're sort of waiting for something to happen. 

Sammy: Is that what you're feeling right now? Anxious? 

Simon: I guess. I feel like something's going to happen, and I don't know what. 

Sammy: The only thing I could think of is that we're getting the tests back from English class. 

Simon: I think I failed that shit.

Sammy: Same here, dude.

[32-yumiko]

Story Time with the Legends

Hello, I'm Yumiko. Some of you may know me, some may not. I'm here to introduce us legends, or at least whichever ones decide to show up this time.

Caspian: Hi! Yumiko has a blog now. So we're using her blog to get introductions in because Jiro probably won't let us do that.

We should also explain how things work for us a little. It must be really confusing for the beings we'll meet here to hear about the tournament that's so important for us yet they've never heard of.

Caspian: Oh yeah the tournament and all that. And some other stuff probably, there's more than just the tournament. Like... this blog's name. Guys Yumiko is our friendly kitsune grandma, and she'd probably be old enough to be most beings' parent or grandparent because she's literally like 500 years old. And she'll adopt you.

Nix: On the topic of the blog names, I should mention we have legend numbers. Our legend numbers are the order we joined the tournament in. I'm Legend #30, so I'm the thirtieth legend to join. Yumiko's #32, so she has a 32 in her blog name, Caspian's #34, and Jiro's #39.

We didn't have to put our legend numbers in the blog names, I just did it because I'm quite sure "Yumiko" without anything else would be already taken. Jiro used his full name instead.

Nix: Which I'm pretty sure isn't even his real name or something.

Caspian: And your tournament name isn't your real name either.

Nix: That's not something to contest, legally I don't exist.

Caspian: And neither do any of us.

Please don't argue, calm down...

Artemis: Well... yeah calm down... and hello, I'm Artemis. Nix what's my legend number again?

Nix: #33 The Answer.

Artemis: Oh. Well, most of us don't remember our numbers or titles because they're not useful for anything besides official stuff.

Caspian: Exactly. And like half of the titles are generic as all hell. I don't know what my title is and I forget my number unless Nix mentions it.

Nix: Eh I guess I have too much time or something because I've memorized everyone's numbers and titles. Caspian's title is The Master Thief, Yumiko's is The Kitsune, Jiro's is The Shogun's Shadow, and mine is The Freelance Reaper.

Artemis: Okay now you all explain those. Yours actually describe you in a more literal way than maybe being part of a prophecy.

Nix: Sure. I'm basically the grim reaper of our multiverse, I make sure dead beings stay dead, by bringing spirits to the underworld.

Caspian: I cause trouble because why not? What's the point in laws when the government's a corrupt mess that can't enforce them anyway?

Mirage: Basically you're an anarchist. So are... a surprising number of us, really. Don't question the chaos and illegal stuff we've done, we're mostly nice.

Artemis: Not really. Most of the legends are not very nice.

Mirage: Ehh most of the ones who'll talk here are. Anyway, I'm Mirage, The Dune Weaver. My title comes from my magic, I can control sand.

Caspian: And go through solid objects. And exist in peoples' walls.

Mirage: That's not even funny anymore. Only Jiro still says that and he has no sense of humor.

Caspian: That's not very nice.

Mirage: He's not even here and probably won't show up.

Okay I think there might be a shadow clone lurking around somewhere, but I'm not quite sure if he'd paying attention to us. As for my title, I'm a kitsune, which is also the reason for my extended lifespan.

Nix: Artemis's prophecy is pretty important too.

Artemis: Alright... basically I'm prophesized to destroy Orion. I'm not upset about it, Orion is a terrible being, but it's not really something I can put at the forefront of my decisions either, because the tournament won't let us permanently die.

Mirage: We haven't explained the damn tournament yet... so, we're all in the Grand Tournament, hosted by Odin and the Valkyries. Most of the time we just live in a special realm consisting of shards resembling other realms, mostly ones various legends hail from. We receive supplies from spectators who watch the tournament like a sport, and we fight each other over conflicts and sometimes also supplies. Death isn't permanent for us, the Valkyries will revive us if we are defeated in a fight. There are events staggered throughout the year consisting of daily challenges and championship brackets which are more like an actual tournament. Oh, and we're kinda celebrities for the spectators.

Now I feel like we need to explain the realms too...

Nix: Realms aren't that complicated. Simply put, our multiverse is made of many different, independently behaving worlds called realms. Some realms are based off a specific time period and place in Earth history, others are earth-like or earth-parallel, and others resemble the far future or are pure fantasy compared to Earth logic. Oh yeah, there goes the fourth wall. You won't be missed, fourth wall.

Artemis: Some of us can break the fourth wall thanks to Felicette. Mostly it's Nix doing that though.

Nix: And time between realms is nonlinear and realms are connected by nexus realms, which are strange inter-realms with even less logic. I'm from the Underworld Nexus. Petra's from Terminus, another nexus realm which is incredibly unstable.

Petra: I'm Petra, The Darkheart. Don't know why my title's the name of a magic crystal, doesn't really make sense. Darkheart's the source of my powers. It's supposedly infective, but that's not a problem so far.

Nix: Oh and Felicette is like our creator. An entity existing outside the fourth wall. Mostly. Sort of. Actually, Felicette's kinda a mystery and that's the way things are. They're really busy most of the time running the multiverse and what not, though they do outsource a lot of tasks, like managing dead beings, to others like me.

Nix's the only being truly from the Underworld Nexus as far as we're aware. She's an anomaly due to her unique status. Other realms, depending on how well-received the first legends from them are, may have multiple legends originating for them. For example, Jiro and I are both from the Twilight Realms, but we've never met before the tournament because we were from different time periods. Hattori is also technically a Twilight Realm legend even though she wasn't born there, and she also didn't really overlap with either of us. It's odd meeting beings in the tournament who've lived in your past or future.

Artemis: I'm from... Earth. Basically, I was a human before the tournament. And uhh becoming a cyborg or... whatever I am now. I'm not quite sure, honestly...

Ada: You're definitely not a cyborg in the usual sense. Maybe closer to an alien cyborg space deity right now. Or whatever type of anomaly Orion is since you two are the only beings at your power level.

Artemis: I... guess... I don't like how similar I supposedly am to Orion...

Ada: Anyhow, nice to meet you, I'm Ada. I'm one of the earlier legends in the tournament, I've been there for a couple more years than the others here right now.

Mirage: Yeah, Ada's number is in the low tens or late single digits and the rest of us have numbers in the thirties.

Nix: Not you, Mirage. You're #29.

Mirage: Close enough.

Caspian: Also, there's like, a lot lot of us. The latest legend is Vivi, who joined like two months ago, and is #62. Most of us, the 30-something legends, have been in the tournament for... five? years? more technically... since Jiro's been here for more than five years and the rest of us for longer. Nix's been here for six I think.

Nix: Yeah, you're right.

Vivi: Hi, I'm Vivi. I like cats. I head you all talking about me, it better be nice!

Caspian: Oh don't worry we're not here to blackmail you this time.

Vivi: And where's Jiro? He's not here, and it's starting to tick me off, I think he's planning something...

This is my account, it's not like he can mess up the transcript or anything. Don't worry about it.

Caspian: Yeah, see? Now, what was our topic again?

Nix: We were here for introductions but we didn't really have much of a topic besides like generally explaining things. We've covered the tournament, titles and numbers, realms...

Caspian: Feel like we should explain the weapon system, that's important. And the power limiter, can't believe I forgot that when Ada mentioned it...

Ada: The tournament was made so the best fighters from all sorts of realms could compete for eternity. It's like an alternate afterlife preventing us from normal, permanent death so our powers are never lost. But since we've all been away from our own realms, their knowledge of us has faded away to nothing more than myths and legends, hence us being referred to as the tournament's legends. Now, different legends have vastly different power levels based on their realm's technology level and prevalence of magic in their home realm. So to allow top human or augmented human fighters to compete with angels, demons and cosmic entities, we have a power limiter in play to ensure power balance. It gets tweaked now and then to ensure fairness and create opportunities for all legends. Often, all legends with a given weapon are affected at a time to match trends in performance.

Artemis: Every legend specializes in two weapons. Or weapon categories. Or not even that since the definitions for the weapon categories are super loose. There are fifteen weapon categories right now. I'm scythe and rocket lance. Ada's spear and blasters. Mirage's spear and scythe, Nix's blasters and scythe. Yumiko's hammer and bow. Caspian's gauntlets and katars, Petra's gauntlets and orb. Vivi's blasters and battle boots.

Most weapon categories are self-explanatory, but some are a bit more unique. Rocket lances are large pointy things with engines mounted on the back. Imagine a jousting lance but motorized to remove the need for horses or other mounts. Gauntlets and boots are kind of martial arts category substitutes depending on the legends. Blasters are like dual wielded pistols. Orb is a literal magic orb that levitates around to hit people. Oh, and we have sword legends and greatsword legends and Jaeyun who's sword and greatsword.

Caspian: I still remember the beyond silly debate Scarlet's book club had about who was the first dual wielding sword legend.

Ada: I remember that too. But surprisingly it's been a while now since then. Jaeyun was new then, now he's been around for a few years too.

Nix: Time passes faster than you think, mortals.

Technically I'm not mortal? Since I have an indefinite lifespan until I'm killed. And that applies to many other beings too.

Nix: Whatever.

Artemis: And there's a lot of gimmicks or exceptions to weapon categories. Caspian's katars are throwing knives instead of regular daggers, Isaiah's blasters can turn into an assault rifle, and Jiro somehow manages to have something unique about both his weapons, he's the only dual wielding sword legend and has a kusarigama for his scythe. Loki also has some sort of chain scythe thing too.

Ada: We should probably explain our stats too.

Caspian: And where actually is Jiro... I had the feeling he'd show up eventually if we kept this going but it's been quite a while and he hasn't showed up.

Hmm, I can still feel a presence, but maybe it's just all of you and I'm confused due to the tight space.

Artemis: It's not changing anything if he doesn't show up. So we have four stats each, strength, dexterity, defense, and speed. Strength is a combination of physical strength, additional strength granted by technology and augmentations, and magical ability. Defense is basic endurance, how likely you are to survive attacks. Speed is movement speed, but it can also be affected by movement focused powers. And dex is the miscellaneous stat. It's like, reflexes, support powers, sometimes just strategic capability since a surprising amount of the high dex legends are also more strategy focused ones.

Nix: Also, Felicette refers to strength as attack. And each legend's stats are scored against their own capabilities so the numbers between the four stats add up to 22.

The maximum you can get in a stat is 3 and the maximum is 9. 3 is like you're useless in that category, 9 is basically almost no one and no other legend can beat you in that category. For some reason 3 defense is disproportionally common as an extremely low stat.

Nix: because y'all do stupid things.

Caspian: That's not very nice.

Artemis: You should not be the one to call Ada stupid.

Mirage: Anyhow, so both Ada and Jiro have 3 defense, and also like 4 other legends?

Vivi: Yes, Thatch, Ember, Jhala and Thea. So the 3 defense squad is not really a squad.

Mirage: And Xull has 9 strength, Magyar has 9 defense, Thea has 9 speed, and we don't have anyone with 9 dex yet. We thought Loki would get 9 def but nope.

Thea's got both an extreme high stat and an extreme low stat. I think she's the only one with that so far.

Artemis: Yeah, I'm pretty sure...

Caspian: This has been going on for so long, we should probably finish it or no one's reading the whole thing.

Sure. Bye!

[rayne-the-neutrois-nerd]

Okay so this is my month ahead spread for this month. I write real tiny and my camera wasn't agreeing but I'll type it out. (1 is at the bottom left, then it goes left to right up until top right being 9). I copied the little blurb in the guidebook into the squares because they were short and sweet and concise and I was feeling them this time.

1) Your Current Self- 9 of Wisdom (Cups)

"Finding balance between enjoying your accomplishments and not slipping into complacency"

Initial Thoughts: Feeling pretty accurate. I've been feeling really productive with how much I've been crocheting and also how creative I've been feeling. This isn't the time to fully rest on my laurels, I gotta keep up the momentum while I have the energy.

2) Theme of the Month- King of Strength (Wands)

"Fully expressing your powers of leadership and realizing your vision. Teaching others."

IT: Teaching others... pfft.. that's fitting for what I'm kinda doing now with this post. Not really sure how confident I am in terms of leadership since I'm more of a lone wolf when it comes to productivity things but eh, let's see.

3) A Goal To Pursue- 4 of Charisma (Pentacles)

"Being careful with finances while not falling into fear or greed."

IT: Good goal to pursue. Get what I need, not what I want. I already bought a lot of stuff I needed for crochet projects, all I need to buy at some point is a replacement 5.50mm hook because I lost my only one at work, but besides that I don't need to spend much on stuff I don't need.

4) An Obstacle To Overcome- 5 of Wisdom

"Keeping a bright outlook and not letting past pain affect your interpretation of the present moment."

IT: This is... a weird.. obstacle... Maybe it's more how I should feel towards said obstacles, those being past pain and worries, and the way to overcome is just... not letting it get to me. I basically just reiterated what the blurb was but this has me a tad confused right now.

5) A Major Accomplishment- 6 of Intelligence (Swords)

"Freeing yourself of burdens and old ways of thinking."

IT: Okay this is very fitting with the previous spot. Maybe this is turning out to be a pretty worry-free month, or I'll have less anxiety over certain things.

6) What To Avoid- Ace of Wisdom

"Our ability to access the power of insight to heal emotions and love ourselves."

IT: Yeah, this one is stumping me. This is such a straightforward blurb and there isn't a way I can spin this into being an "avoid this other thing the blurb says by healing emotions etc etc". This is just weird to me.

7) What To Embrace- 6 of Charisma

"Giving and receiving fully while not sacrificing your values or exhausting your energy."

IT: Goes well with 3, and is fitting to overall family situations because honestly, my whole damn family is poor and always pressed for money. I'm pretty comfortable right now in terms of what I'm earning, I can help them out with gas money and such every now and then, but also I gotta acknowledge I still need to keep some for buying food and shit.

8) Where To Find Support- Knight of Strength

"Going full out and not looking back. Following your gut. Doing what it takes to make it happen."

IT: Well, finding support in my own gut. Guess this is a month of trusting my own intuition.

9) Advice and Encouragement- 5 of Strength

"Being focused totally on being in the moment to work together effectively. Letting go of competition."

IT: I can see this. Not really the competition part? Maybe that can be like, get rid of jealousy of seeing other people doing "better" than I am? Idk, I'm not super competitive. But the first part with working together does make sense, because my dad just recently became legally blind and we need to work together to do household things and learning to be out and about and him learning how to use his cane, and me learning how to be a caretaker, etc etc.

Notes:

There is no Major Arcana. This could mean these things are going to be more low-key events or moments, or things more in the everyday rather than one big event. Should be pretty mild on that front.

Fire- 3 Water- 3 Air- 1 Earth- 2. Gonna be more action and emotion heavy this month. From this spread I'm kinda getting that the emotion stuff will lead to the action stuff.

1, 4, 5, 8 (Maybe 6) go together. 2 and 9 go together. 3 and 7 go together.

Final Interpretation

Keep up the momentum on my creative works and to not be afraid of starting things I want to start. These are things I've planning and thinking about in great detail for months and months. Taking the first step isn't as scary as it seems and will feel like nothing if you just keep going. You've got the juice at the moment, make the best of it, you'll feel great.

Take more focus on working with your dad. You're both in a weird position with the new diagnosis, but he's the one who needs more help and you're the only one readily available to do it. Take a few extra steps, make some plans of things to do, or maybe make a typical "going out" plan for any trip outside the house and how to handle things. Look up resources and maybe read up on others experiences.

You're financially steady right now, or more so than you usually are. You aren't in a panic over buying food at the moment. Your family members are all in a tizzy because finances are tight for them, help out when and where you can.

Out of curiosity, what kind of rituals do you do when it comes to reading your tarot cards? Cleansing, how you read/interpret them? Do you document your readings? I've been reading tarot for a little while but it's always just a fun little side thing where I shuffle cards, pull them, and use the book the deck came with to interpret them as best as possible. I do occasionally cleanse them, too, but I'm curious about your rituals?

Okay so one thing about me is that I suck at regularly cleansing my tools with like, other things. I know I should probably smoke cleanse them with some incense or moonlight or whatever, but I also have 15 decks total and man that's a lot of work and I also do not have the windowsill space for it. I also have... cats that like to jump up into said windowsills and will 100% knock them down.

Usually I just cleanse as I use them. My method is just putting them back in order and then doing a big shuffle. I do this weird way of shuffling that I made up because my hands are too small to shuffle normally. I'll include a video... gif... or something below but basically I like, hold them in one hand, loosely bring up cards with two fingers on my other, and keep doing that, switching between putting them right side and reversed into pile until I'm left with one card. I put it to the side. Then I pick up the big pile again and repeat. I only do this when getting them shuffled around when they're in order. It's time intensive but it puts that intention of "okay, be shuffled and ready for use" into it.

Heres a really bad video of me doing this:

I mostly just document my monthly readings because I've been lacking on keeping up my tarot practice, but if it's a big spread that I do, I'll usually at least write it on a piece of loose paper with the cards I drew, what the cards mean, and then a little like, summary of me piecing it all together.

With interpretations and meanings I do a few different things. I have a doc with like, a big mish-mash of all the meanings and such that I've read in books, online, etc. It's mostly just keywords though, but it's good if the deck I'm using didn't have a guidebook or if I think said guidebook sucks (I have one that has a sheet of paper that I absolutely hate the interpretations of). Usually though, I start by reading the guidebook that comes with the deck I'm using and that's the meaning I usually go with, though sometimes I don't feel the meanings really fit. Then I look at my big list of keywords and see if any of those really stand out to me for the card in the position in the spread. And if that doesn't work, or if my intuition is really screaming at me, I'll just look at the card, look at the imagery, take into account the suit, number, etc, and then see what words pop up then. Maybe it's a color that stands out and I'll think of words that work with that color, or its the mood on the figures face, etc.

Here, lemme do an example. This is the official D&D Tarot Deck licensed by WOTC (I bought it before I knew all the drama)

It's a shitty picture but this is this decks version of the 4 of Swords. The card is usually associated with rest and recouperation and I think this deck really shows this well in the D&D setting. They look like a group of travellers who are taking a short rest, which is perfect imagery for the card. I'd look at this and think "Okay for this part of the spread, imagine taking a short rest from it. Let a couple of those spell slots come back." Or if it's in a placement of things to avoid, it could mean be weary of resting for too long and getting too stagnant.

[diavolosthots]

Ahhh I've been waiting so long for your requests to open again ! this may sound oddly specific but could you please do GN!MC going back to the human world then into highschool , but their parents are gone and they need someone to go with them to the parent teacher conference ? Demon brothers ofc. you can do MtL or teams if you think their reactions will all be similar. Thank you !!

YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THE MENTAL IMAGE OF LUCIFER PRETENDING TO BE YOUR DAD GIVES ME JOY

THE BROTHERS pretending to be MC’s parent for parent-teacher conference

Lucifer:

And if you don’t think he won’t take his role as your father 100% seriously, you’re mistaken. You best not be failing any classes MC. If he hears one bad review from your teachers he’ll scold you and you’ll think for a moment he’s actually your dad. Hell, he even had his glasses and best business suit on. First impressions and all. “Don’t let me catch you slacking, MC. A good education is important and you’re not going to turn out like Mammon, living off of my money.” “Lucifer!!!” But honestly it’s just so funny to see. If you have trouble with any of your teachers though, and it’s legitimately not your fault, he’ll rip them a new one and they’ll treat you with the utmost respect from now on. 

Mammon:

So besides the fact that he is your second to worst choice for this, he also just doesn’t even try. He’s showing up in his regular clothes and chances are, he doesn’t look much older than you. “Sir, why do you look so young? This is a parent-teacher conference. You’re their brother, at most.” “Eh?! I’m older than the sock yer wearin’!!!” Oof. Yeah, don’t expect too much out of Mammon. If anything, he’ll turn this into a comedy show and you can’t catch your breath anymore from laughing so hard. Good luck. At the very least, you’ll find some humor in it. 

Leviathan:

Let him get this straight: You want HIM to act as your DAD? Your PARENT? Have you MET him? Oh but you’re literally his bestest friend and he’d do almost anything for you and sadly, that does include this. He’ll even put something nice on and get out of his sweats and gamer jacket! Sadly, that doesn’t erase the awkwardness, though. He’s kind of embarrassed to compliment you so every time your teachers ask “how are they doing at home? Everything good?” Levi’s like “err… yah…. Uhm… you know… studying a lot…. And…. very responsible… yeah.” And that’s the most he can get out. 

Satan:

Like father like son. Him and Lucifer both take this very seriously but Satan expects absolute perfection from you. He may play your dad but you better be the child given to him by God himself. No unexcused absences. No missing assignments. No test grades below an A. You better be a star student and if he even as much as glaces at a B or a failing grade, he’ll tear you apart in front of the teacher. “What did I tell you about studying? It’s because you’re always on that damn phone!” Okay, Boomer. Of course, all of this is meant in light heartedness ALTHOUGH he WILL lecture you if you are failing classes once you get back. 

Asmodeus:

Y’all thought Levi was gonna be the worst choice but WRONG, it’s Asmo. Although he looks pretty decent and is super respectful, the fact that his voice is so high pitched and he could pass as a 14 year old if he really tried, makes your teachers not respect him back. Don’t even start with the constant flirting. “Asmo he’s married with kids!” “So? A little affair never hurt anyone!” For legal reasons: he’s joking. He also always finds a way to make it about your teacher’s skincare routines???? Like?? “Mrs. Smith you wrinkles are showing… is it because of the stress? Never have kids is what I always say!” 

Beelzebub:

He’s… awkward… but he’s trying! Never would he have thought he’d be a dad so young but damn he’s trying. He put on his best outfit that didn’t make him look like he just came from a funeral/wedding, and he’s smiling and answering all the questions perfectly, although he did almost eat the pictures of fruit in your foreign language class, almost…. “Sir are you okay?” “Yeah I’m just hungry.” “Did you not eat before?” “Not enough…. I had only 60 Big Mac Meals.” Never…. Never take him back…. The teachers are still weirded out. 

Belphegor: 

Oof okay so here’s the thing: he’s trying. He really is. It’s just that all your classes are boring and why do you even need to know these things? As someone who’s learned these things first hand from the people that discovered them, he can say that 97.33% of all the stuff you’re learning right now is useless. “Excuse me? Are you drooling on my desk?” “hm….? Oh you’re still talking….? Sorry, your words were just so slurred and drawn out…” “I’m just talking normally???” “exactly.” Try not to laugh I guess but also… you can’t really blame him. 

[daveed-diggs-imagines]

A Little Illegal: Daveed x fem!reader

Smut! 18+ reccomended 

warnings: rough sex, large age gap, professor-student relationship

Summary: A highschool senior begins taking college courses. She never thought she’d enjoy her new professor so much...

To say you were nervous was an understatement. You had worked hard and kept your grades up to start taking some college classes throughout your senior year to get credits. You had signed up for any government or history-related classes you could get in hopes of filling your mind with as much information as possible before you graduate. You didn’t know many students who had signed up for the same classes as you which only heightened your anxiety. Not to mention the horror stories you had heard from some of the other students who had dealt with some of these professors before. You just hoped if you did the work and kept quiet it wouldn’t be a problem.

The bus that was transporting you and some other students arrived and harshly jerked to a stop. You stood up incredibly unconfidently and grabbed your bag. You shuffled off the dulled yellow ride and followed the small map you had in your hand. Luckily, you weren’t running late and were ahead of what was previously planned by ten minutes. You weave your way through puzzled kids and easily find your room. No one else is around so you nervously turn the handle and walk-in.

The first thing you notice is a tall man with glasses and amazing natural hair. He is not focused on you as he scribbles notes down on a post-it.

“U-um, hi,” you stutter, causing the man to look up. “You are Mr. Diggs, correct?”

“Uh, yeah, and you are?” he asks, a puzzled look on his face. He hadn’t seen you on campus before.

“I’m y/n l/n, it’s nice to meet you,” you say, walking over and reaching out your hand for him to shake.

“Ah, are you new here?”

“Yeah, in a sense,” You laugh, assuming he already knew you were with the high school.

“Well then y/n, come by my office after class and I can give you the rundown of this place, yeah?” he suggests.

“Yeah, that would be wonderful, thank you, Mr. Diggs.”

“Daveed is fine,” he says. “ ‘Mr. Diggs’ doesn’t sound right coming from your mouth.”

“Oh yeah, of course Daveed,” You say, deciding you like the way his name sounds rolling off your tongue. You turn away from him and walk over to the plethora of seats. Damn, she has a nice ass too.

“Sit here,” Daveed says, walking up behind you and pointing towards one in the front row.

“Are you sure?” you ask, not knowing if you want to be right in the middle of everything.

“You seem like you’ll be a great addition to this class and I don’t want to miss your thoughts,” he simply states, watching you sit down and pull out your laptop seemingly ready to take notes.

“Prepared, I like it.”

“Eh, I guess, I’m still pretty nervous though,” you admit, tucking some hair behind your ear.

“Don’t be. I’m always here if you need anything.”

He finishes talking as you hear the door burst open, several people coming in. Most of them rowdy and of the male gender.

“Gentlemen,” Daveed says, nodding at the group.

“Ayyy, it’s Diggs,” one of them yells, slamming his stuff down next to you. A look of irritation forms on your new professor's face at the sound of his voice.

All of the group follows the leader and set their bags and themselves down around you. You’re nervous at their actions knowing that they didn’t seem the most trustworthy.

“Hey, who are you?” one of them asks, leaning closer.

“Someone that wants you to leave them alone.”

“Ooh, c’mon, just play along, yeah?” he smiles, hand now resting closer to yours.

“No thanks, I’m okay,” you tell him, hoping he’ll take a hint.

“Yeah right, you sat right in the middle in the front row. You love this attention, don’t lie,” he concludes, making his friends snicker. You jerk your hand away and sink back in your seat. You figure they aren’t going to stop so ignoring them seems like the best option.

“Aww, c’mon, I just wanna have a little fun,” he says, hand now resting on your knee.

You all hear someone loudly clear their voice and everyone’s head jerks up.

“No means no,” Daveed declares, making direct eye contact with the boy who was previously harassing you. The boy doesn’t have a response as he crosses his arms and leans back.

“Why don’t you go sit somewhere else?” he more demands than suggests. Without a word, the group gets up and moves to a section in the back, far away from any authority figures.

“You good y/n?” Daveed asks, feeling guilty for telling you to sit up front for his selfish reasons.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just a little startled.”

He then grabs your bag and moves it over to a seat in the lower corner.

“The bulk of people sit in the middle so this way you shouldn’t be bothered,” he explains as you move over to sit down. He stares down at you for a moment.

"Hey, I'm sorry, I wouldn't have told you to sit there if I knew what they would do," he apologizes, running a hand over his hair.

“No, don’t worry, it’s not your fault,” you laugh. “Honestly, you would think they would be more mature.”

“Yeah, you would think.”

You had sat through the whole class and surprisingly wasn't bored to death. Even though most of it was just introductory, Daveed had a voice that was just captivating and you were looking forward to coming back. You shove everything into your bag before getting up and stretching. You begin to walk towards the door when you hear someone call your name. You turn around and see Daveed, having forgotten he wanted to talk with you in his office.

“You still want to talk?” He asks.

“Yeah, of course.”

“Okay, great, just give me a quick second and I’ll meet you in there. You can make yourself comfortable while you wait,” he tells you gesturing towards a door off to the side.

“Yeah, I’ll do that,” you respond, going over and walking in. Everything looks like a standard office. A desk with two chairs in front of it along with a couch towards the wall. Tons of books on shelves or stacked on stands. The atmosphere was romantic with the dim lighting and brown undertones set through the small space. There’s a hint of a woodsy smell that’s more calming than overwhelming.

After waiting for five minutes you begin to grow bored and gaze around from the seat you took in one of the chairs in front of the desk. Nothing new seems to pop out at you but curiosity still gets the best of you and you stand up and walk around the desk to snoop. All there seems to be is essays, not that you were expecting much else. The only thing that interests you is a spinny office chair the was positioned directly behind you. So what other choice is there besides sitting down and well, spinning?

You can’t help but laugh at how childish you must seem as you push on the desk to gain momentum.

You barely have time to enjoy yourself when the chair is suddenly halted to a stop. You looked up to see Daveed looking down at you, holding the chair still, hand right next to your head, catching some of your hair with it.

“Comfortable?” he asks, seemingly growing closer. Damn, he smelled amazing. You sit there and stare up at him, forgetting you were asked a question. You grip slightly onto the arms of the chair, growing nervous.

“I asked you a question, y/n,” he whispers, his mouth now next to your ear.

“Fuck uh, y-yeah, I’m great,” you stutter, clenching your legs. Were you really turned on right now? He’s your new professor who’s probably twice your age and you’re ready to strip right here and now.

“Oh, oh god, I’m so sorry Daveed I-”

“That’s Mr. Diggs to you,” he growls, his lips now grazing over your ear as he speaks.

“O-of course, Mr. Diggs,” you comply, eyes wandering down his body. His shirt seems to show far more muscles than earlier. But you weren’t complaining.

“Tell me to stop and I will,” Daveed whispers, mouth moving to yours to capture you in a kiss. It’s not gentle nor rough but has a sense of lust you'd never experienced before. You don’t even know this man and you were letting him have his way with you in an unlocked room on the campus of a school. You know this isn’t right. Hell, this isn’t even legal but right now you’re thinking with the dampness in your panties not the good judgment in your mind.

He continues moving his lips on yours and pulls you up so you’re standing against him. He walks back toward the couch, mouth not leaving yours once. He still has some of your hair tangled into his hand from when he had stopped the chair earlier. He uses it to his advantage and pulls on it suddenly, making your head jerk back and you’re mouth open. You moan when he slides his tongue in. You’re lowered onto the couch, him starting to slightly lean over you.

He pushes you down completely, straddling one of your legs. You move your knee up spreading your legs a little more and feel something hard graze against you. You know you should stop but you forget about thinking when he starts to reach his hand down the waistband of your jeans. Your breath hitches and you can feel him smile against your mouth.

“Damn y/n, I didn’t know I could get you like this so fast,” he whispers, voice husky.

“Of course you wouldn’t know. You know nothing more than my name at this point,” you pant while beginning to lift the edge of his shirt.

“Well I’d love to get to know you but I’m a little busy right now,” Daveed jokes, struggling to rip off your too-tight jeans. You swiftly remove his shirt as he finally strips you of your only layer of clothing- you decided not to wear panties that day.

“Are you ready?” he asks while undoing the belt holding up his slacks. You give a small moan in agreement as you see his dick nearly protruding out of his boxers. Without notice Daveed drops his remaining clothing and grabs the back of your head, gripping a fistful of hair and pulling. He pulls you closer to him as he uses his other hand to position his cock against your lips. You expect him to let you take the lead and you prepare to welcome him into your mouth. His grip on you tightens. Daveed slams himself into your throat and you let out a gag. This wasn’t your first time but it feels different than before.

You had watched porn scenes like this but never imagined it would be happening today. And not at 18 years old with your new professor. The onslaught continues as you feel his cock stretch your throat with every forceful pound. Your saliva and Daveed's sticky precum are dripping down your chin as you try to swallow. You can barely breathe much less swallow the fluids combining in your mouth. You were in pain what felt like everywhere. Your hair, your neck, your head, and anywhere that was being forcefully moved and penetrated by Daveed. But you loved it. You relished in the sting of your hair being pulled and your face being fucked.

Daveed begins to slow down and releases his grip on your head. You take in a deep breath and wait for the next act. Daveed moves quick, tearing off your shirt and pulling your bra off over your head. He pushes you back on the couch and moves down to your sopping pussy.

“I’m going to fuck your little cunt up so bad,” He growls. You watch as he slowly runs his tongue over his lips before he uses his fingers to sperate the lips of your pussy.

You shudder at the small touch bracing yourself for what’s next. Daveed opens his mouth, consuming your cunt in a sloppy kiss. His tongue lands on your swollen clit as he begins sucking and flicking all-around your sensitive ball of nerves. You try and keep quiet, reducing your moans to muffled groans. You bite the back of your hand as you feel a finger slip inside of you. You had only ever fucked boys who couldn't find a way to please you. This was what you needed; a mature man to make you feel something worth screaming over.

Daveed's finger begins thrusting faster as he slips another inside you. You lay there squirming and whining like a little puppy as the pleasure continued consuming your body. Then He added a third finger. It had been a while since you last had a dick in you and you could feel your pussy stretching to accommodate the new addition. You begin thrusting into Daveed as you feel your body ready to explode.

Daveed senses your body close to climax and abruptly stops. He rips his fingers out of you and stuffs them inside your panting mouth.

“Lick it off, get a good taste of yourself you little slut,” he growls, leaving his fingers in your mouth and gripping your chin to close your mouth. You begin sucking your juices from his fingers and move your hand down to your cunt. You felt so close and you just needed to keep going. Daveed notices your hand traveling down and wastes no time removing his hand from your mouth and pinning your hands above your head. He says nothing as he reaches to the floor to grab the belt he was previously wearing. It all happens so fast you can barely squeak out a word before your hangs are stuck tied above your head.

“Don’t try that again,” Daveed scolds while wiping his hand against your stomach to remove any of your remaining juices.

“O-oh I’m sorry Mr. Diggs,” you cower, showing the best puppy dog eyes you can muster. Daveed stares down at you for a moment before reaching into his discarded pants pocket.

“I’m on the pill,” you inform him, smiling slightly as his face lights up. You were excited to feel all of him raw inside you.

“Good girl,” Daveed tells you. He smooths down the stray hairs on your head and lines up his throbbing cock to your cunt. You honestly weren’t sure it would fit without tearing apart your insides. You didn’t get a chance to prepare yourself before he sinks halfway inside you. You let out a forceful breath, feeling a euphoric mix of pain and pleasure. Daveed lets out a small grunt and slightly pulls out of you.

“Be quiet,” he sternly warns you. You slightly nod and ball your fists as much as you can while tied above your head. Daveed slams back into you. this time forcing as much inside you as he can. You let out a gasp as he begins roughly thrusting his large cock inside you. You let out a moan; this one a little too loud. Daveed doesn’t hesitate as he wraps his right hand around your throat and slightly applies pressure. you throw back your head in immense pleasure reveling in the gentle pain.

Daveed moves his free hand to your clit and begins quickly rubbing his hand side to side against your clit. His intense thrusting continues as you try and contain your moans and noises. You can’t help but let out a small shriek as you feel yourself begin to unravel. Daveed tightens his grip around your neck, this time applying enough pressure to make it hard for you to breathe. You thrust your hips to meet him feeling every nerve in your pussy being abused by his cock. Every part of you tenses and you feel a release coming. Daveed removes his hand from around your neck and groans at the sudden lightening of your pussy.

“Shhh,” you hear whispered into your ear as you explode, your juices combining with Daveed’s. He thrusts into you while you both climax while muffled moans fill the dim room. Daveed quickly pulls out of you and begins undoing the belt still strapping your hands together.

“You good?” he asks. You look up at him still breathing heavily, the events catching up to you. “Um, yeah, I’m just... yeah I’m good,” you reply, not sure how to answer. You sit up and bend down to collect your discarded clothing. You slip on your jeans and the rest of your clothes, not sure if he expected you to stay.

“Come here for a sec,” Daveed tells you, walking to his desk. You follow him unsure of what's coming next. He looks up at you and reaches up and begins smoothing your messy hair. “We don’t want anyone getting suspicious,” he states. He gives you a small kiss on your forehead.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Do you need anything?” he asks.

“No I’m totally good,” you assure, smiling up at him.

“Good girl,” he tells you right as a loud knock comes from the door.

“I should get going.”

You grab your bag and quickly shuffle to the door. You open it to see an older man waiting. He must have been another professor.

“Same time next week?” Daveed asks loudly from across the room.

“Of course!” You say back, smirking as you reach for your phone to put the meeting into your calendar.

[thecutestlittlebunbunfairy]

I’ll Be Home for Christmas - Chapter 1

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary:  When (y/n) is invited home for Christmas, Bucky volunteers to play the role of “dutiful boyfriend” and to fend off questions from annoying relatives, especially her parents. All the while both of them harbor secret feelings for one another.

“UGH!” you yelled, slamming your cell phone down on the counter top. Not caring if the screen cracked or not.

              “Whoa, what’d the phone do to you?” Bucky said, coming in from a run, face flushed red from the cold outside. He strode past you and right to the fridge.

              “Not the phone so much as who was on the other end of the phone.” You sighed. Bucky retrieved a bottle of Gatorade from the fridge and sat down next to you. “My parents want me to come up for Christmas. And I do…kind of want to…but my parents can sometimes be a bit much… And I’ll be essentially “alone” for a week with them with no one to talk to while my cousins, whom I love, flaunt their happy relationships and I remain perpetually single.” “

Not to mention the million questions from family members about ‘when am I going to find a nice man?’ As if I had to settle down with a man!” You slammed your hands down on the counter top so hard Friday piped up.

              “Are you alright, Miss. (y/n)?”

              “Yep, just dandy.” You grumbled. Bucky was quiet for a moment.

              “Wow, sounds like one heck of a time. How long is the trip?”

              “A week at most. I can’t stomach longer than that without wanting to scream.”

              “Surprised you even want to go.” Bucky commented.

              “I’m dying to get away for a bit. Plus, there’s a few people I DO want to see. And I guess…” you paused. “Christmas is my favorite time of the year. I’m not one for church and all that, but the lights, the warm fuzzy feeling, the music. It’s the best.” You said, with a small smile.  “What about you Bucky, any plans?” you asked, hoping to shift the conversation away from your issues.

              “Eh, I don’t know. Thor invited anyone who wanted up to Asgard for a Yule festival. Supposed to be more meat and mead than one mortal could consume.” Bucky said.

              “Sounds a lot more fun than a week alone with my family.” You commented.

              “Well, what if you weren’t alone? What if your boyfriend came with you?”

              “C’mon Bucky. You know as well as anyone my social life is dead.” Working as a paralegal in the legal department of Stark Industries left you extremely busy.

              “I know that. But, to be honest, a week long break snowed in some cabin in…where is this place?”

              “Maine,” you sighed wistfully, having fond memories of Christmases past.

              “Maine sounds pretty nice to me. Plus, aren’t you always telling us how amazingly your mom cooks?”  You smiled. “Oh yes. We never went hungry at my house. And dad keeps the liquor cabinet VERY well stocked.” You smirked.

But you worried your lip. “I don’t know, Bucky. I don’t want you doing this just out of pity or anything. I’m sure Steve wants to do something with you. Or Thor’s thing. Or there’s still SAVING THE WORLD?”

              “I’m absolutely positive. Steve, Sam, and Nat are all planning on staying. Doing their own thing here. They can handle anything too bad. Thor’s thing sounded kind of fun but Yule happens every year. I can go eat and drink and whatever other crazy stuff they get up to next year. After everything with Thanos…it’d be nice to have a normal quiet Christmas. Besides, pulling one over on a bunch of sticks in the mud sounds like a great way to spread comfort and joy to me.” You both laughed.

              “Well, pack your long underwear. It can get pretty cold up there. I’ll call my mom and tell her I’m bringing a ‘guest.’ You winked at him. “I’ll see if Tony can score us first class tickets.” you said, picking up your phone and going to call your mom.

              “Sounds wonderful, doll.” He said with a coy wink. “I’ll start packing. Should we get match luggage so everyone knows we’re madly in love?” he asked, heading towards his room. Your laugh followed him down the hall.

Internally though, you were screaming. Bucky Barnes was going to be your “date” to family Christmas. Holy fuck. You’d had feelings ever since first meeting the super soldier. You and Cap had been fast friends when you’d gotten hired. Then, when you inevitably met Bucky, sparks flew. But your work truly left you with no time to pursue a relationship. And besides, you didn’t think he would ever feel back for you what you did.

              “Hi, mom?” you said once she picked up. “I think I might be able to make it after all. Is it alright if I bring a guest?”

              “Well, I suppose. Is this a friend of yours?” she said and you caught her tone. One thing your mom always picked on was your smaller social circle. Especially since it composed mostly of more online friends. But it just made you want to do this even more.

              “Yes, mom. They’re a friend.” You explained.

              “Well, alright. I suppose we’ll see you then.”

              “Alright. Love you.”

              “Love you too.” And she hung up. You let out a sigh, grateful she hadn’t poked so much.

              But it didn’t matter. None of it mattered. Because you were spending Christmas with Bucky Barnes.

[jeeperso]

D&D Quotes Without context

Miscellaneous Edition, for those quotable lines from between sessions

"All I wanna do, is fork a giant woman! A giant woman!" "Jonni, I'm pretty sure she is some type of undead, probably a vampire. Are you sure that is a good idea?" "If I don’t get turned into a blueberry it won’t be my worst date." "Okay, but if you have to defend yourself just don't burn the place down for once." "Oh, Nyx. Sweet summer child. I never make promises we both know I won’t even try to keep." "Jonni, if I wake up to my bed surrounded in flames again I'm short-sheeting your next bed every night for at least a month." "I know you're trying to score here, but Lady Dimitrescu's daughters are literally vampires AND bugs. I can overlook one, but as a Paladin, it is my sacred duty to burn this place to the ground and stir the ashes."

"We don't let Marshall make breakfast anymore." "Those waffles are well-fortified." "I'm going to be charitable and call it hardtack." "We can use these waffles as melee weapons." "Well if we need to deflect siege engines they'll be good to have." "This is still carbon based and digestible by human systems without any poisons." "I can't serve this. It'll cause ... death." "Marshal we've been over this. This Pizza has 10% less of a lethal amount of grease." "Plus they signed the waivers when they bought a ticket. It's fine." "And don't forget to push the Cakeon." "Cakeon being slices of cake wrapped in bacon." "The special sauce is a mixture of mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard, ranch, horseradish, cheddar cheese, sour cream, and anything unfortunate enough to fall into the mixing vat."

"You do have a copy of the legal code I requested in my letter? As landed gentry you should actually have legal avenues to... I'm sorry did you say Burning child?"

"First I'm going to nail a crossbow bolt through your heart. Then I'm going to mount your balls to walls on opposite sides of this chamber." "I need Three Barrels of Butter" "Are you serious? Those Claws could crush an elephant in full plate!" "You're Right!" *Turns to first person* "We might need more than three barrels of butter."

"So Ioun is the patron of poor college kids. that scans "

"its hardtack or a mug of molten cheese-fried... something in a woven mug of bacon. your choice."

"Welp, all this coke ain't gonna snort itself..."

"Right hand me that dress and the bail money. I'll get Jonni." OOC: Well I mean they allow men in the city. Its just no men live in the city. "I stand by my statement. I'm allowed to look pretty every now and then." OOC: And dragons are the most unprejudiced lovers of anyone after bards.

OOC: Well I mean come on, its Ravenloft: saying a place is of death and madness is like making the observation the day ends in y. "Going out. Getting laid." "Jonni, she’s a werewolf." "Going out, forking a werewolf." OOC: Well Lycanthropy isn't usually sexually transmitted. Its just that Mercedes is a biter. OOC: ...I don't have an appropriate response to that.

"You seriously think I’d turn on my friends for a pile of gold?!?" "sigh I’ll show you my tits. "Hot damn, let’s get these murders done!" "No, Jonni, stay good. Besides, there are plenty of other girls who will do that without asking you to murder us." "Hmmmm… this is the moral quandary of my life…" "I’ll give you five bucks." "Scales tipped!" "Phew, I thought I was going to have to cover her next trip to the topless bar." "No, no, I have the bail money right here."

Nyx: So what’s the inside of Jonni’s head like? Edmund (with thousand yard stare): Imagine every ladies only smut magazine you’ve ever heard of going on forever into infinity while everything is on fire. Food was good though.

"It’s cool. They stole it." "And you know this how?" "Magic." “90% of Ravenloft deaths are mysterious vanishings.” "Why does everything come out covered in glitter and … is that …" "Lube. I’ve got a few theories." "Please don’t share them."

OOC: This is a plan that ends with Strahd having fewer brides, his castle is in flames, and he’s lost his cape.

OOC: Our team consists of a horny pyromancer, a gnome who can fillete you in five seconds, an HP lovecraft protagonist with actual magic backing them up, a literal slab of iron with a face, and a guy with a "I went to the eternal city of Ryleth and all I got was PTSD and this lousy T shirt". Gorbash smashing his shield into their face: "Have! You! Considered! Therapy!" OOC: Good news is you guys will no longer be the most conspicuous guys at the masquerade now. Jonni: Challenge accepted! "Nyx, the bounty on stealing his fake mustache is still on."

"Vanilla is the king of flavors. What does it say about society where vanilla is considered just 'regular'?" "That they have a lot of vanilla." Lash: "Don’t you want wishes?" Jonni: "Do I need wishes to get to see you naked?" Lash: "No?" Jonni: "Fuck ‘em." Vesh: "Oh dammit its my arranged fiance." Pit Fiend: "Milady." Vesh: "An extra wish to whoever punches this douchecanoe in the nards." Jonni: "I wish…for Bigby’s clenched fist of nard punching."

Soth: "Oh, gods, why am I on fire and why is Immigrant Song playing?" Jonni: "Take a guess." Hazlik: "Okay, so its a partridge, stuffed inside a chicken, stuffed inside a duck, stuffed inside a turkey, and the whole thing is fried on a stick. Congratulations, that's the most horrible thing I have ever seen, and I once crossbred an elephant and an owl." "I give him the 'itis, and we run like we stole something." OOC: ...weirdly Curse of Strahd has stats for Strahd zombies but not Strahd Skeletons. Or Strahd's skeletal Steed. Strahd once went to a branding seminar hosted by Bane and it changed his life.

"Are we on a high enough floor that if I throw him through the window he'll be killed by the fall?" "Oh, but when I say stuff like that it’s all 'Jonni, murder is wrong.'" "When they say pick your battles they don't mean to pick all of them. That's too many battles Jonni. Put some back." OOC: He's technically already got a symbiote. OOC: They can get married. Gorbash: "I'm increasing the rent." Venom: "Can I keep the pool table?" Gorbash: "I'm not a monster." Giant Brain: "Jonni… I have summoned you here for… WHY AM I ALREADY ON FIRE! PUT ME OUT! PUT ME OUT!"

"Hello We're the party-crashers. This is Jonni, she's here to steal your women and burn your shit down. That's Nyx, she's going to repatriate certain items from the premise. Marshal over there, is here to studiously ignore our shenanigans. This is the New Guy. He seems pretty chill. I'm Gorbash... and I have been distracting you."

"Will you walk into my parlour?" said a spider to a fly. Jonni: "Hold up. Trying to sex a spider." Nyx: (throws her hands up) And then Jonni wakes up with a spider venom hangover webbed to a wall waiting to be eaten. Jonni: "Eh, I’ve had worse one night stands. I’m not a fucking blueberry." OOC 1: Hey, where does your weed elf grow [her] crops? OOC 2: She probably just grows them in the room she hasn’t paid rent on. OOC 3: Because I was also considering a circle of spores druid tortle. OOC 2: We could be partners! We could turn this into road to el dorado staring Cheech and Chong. OOC: Wait, I just realized five people are hanging out in a pirate bar, and none of us are rogues. We are gonna need someone to get thieves tools. OOC: We have a barbarian with a big stick.

"Are we Foxhound now? Blunderbuss Octopus." OOC1: You want to put the stoner in charge of food. OOC2: Eyup. OOC1: I see no way this can go wrong! OOC3: We need the four basic food groups. Beans, Bacon, Whisky, and Lard. “We pray to Almighty Darkseid! Give us a sign! Thumbs up, for the triumph of the human spirit! Thumbs down to begin the everlasting reign of darkness!” “Where did you find this guy?” “Me? I thought you hired him.” OOC: Yup, nature, arcana, history, investigation and religon at +6. MJ got baked and watched the Discovery Orb a lot. Tordek: "But we have a cleric, Jozan, over there." Strahd: *sigh* Snaps fingers, and suddenly one of Strahd's brides sucks Jozan out the window, cue screaming. "Oh look, you suddenly have an opening, how fortunate." Tordek: "We also have a druid...." Vadania: "SHUT UP, TORDEK!" Edmund: "I think the first order of business may be to discuss your Human Resources strategy..." Strahd: "I have a guy for that too."

"When someone as smart as him talks with himself, it's not crazy...They call it monologing." "I thought it was soliloquy?" "No, soliloquy is when you're talk at someone else when your talking to yourself." "Most people would run from a demon, you run towards it to study it." Professor: "THIS IS ABSOLUTELY FASCINATING! A FROGHEMOTH, AND RIGHT UP CLOSE, IT WILL BE AMAZING TO SEE THIS PERFECT KILLING MACHINE IN ACTION." OOC: Also note the Professor is Lawful Good, Archie is Chaotic Good, so collectively they balance out to Neutral good. OOC: That's good. "The incinerations will continue until morale improves!" “You never incinerate the women!” “Because I’m fucking them!” “I… was not expecting you to be so honest about that…”

"You got what you wanted....but you lost what you had...." "Yes, I'm familiar with how capitalism works."

OOC: Dragons are like, “That’s Krandor the shiney. He only fucks other dragons. Weirdo.”

Gorbash: "D'awww, so tiny... perfect size... FOR PUNTING!" *boots tiny mind-flayer into the horizon*

"Dracula hasn't been spotted in almost recently. Whats he gonna do, destroy all we know and love like he definitely can?" "... my god you people are too stupid to live." "What are you doing in my house?" Gorbash: "...well Edmund has been reading your books, I've been sorting through your armory, Nyx and Irost has been going through your other shinies, Marshal has been cleaving anything monstrous that gets too close, and Jonni has been lighting things on fire to stave off boredom." Gorbash: "Okay Marshal, Jonni. Rock, paper, scissors over who gets [to kill] the bishop."

Jonni: "Did you really think this would make up for what you did?" Nima: "I… killed everyone you grew up with." Jonni: "Yeah, and I’m still not forgiving you for what you did to Eddie." Nima: "I am missing some key context here…" Nima: "Also I committed identity theft on you by having my new undead army tell everyone you are running the show." Jonni: "Oh, no. You’ve fooled the boar tribe. Who still haven’t figured out shitting in a hole." Nima: "Yeah I noticed that. I ruined two pairs of shoes attacking their camps."

[grantyort]

Clearing the Air

[The trio cruises along the empty city streets. Chris is fast asleep in the backseat while Daniel fidgets anxiously in the front.]

SEAN: Need to pee or something? 

DANIEL: Nah, I’m just nervous.

SEAN: [chuckles] About what?

DANIEL: Uh… Nothing. Never mind.

SEAN: [sighs] Whatever you say dude.

DANIEL: [turning to Chris] Is he... okay?

DANIEL: Yeah. He just hasn’t slept well since… you know.

SEAN: Well before he wakes up, we need to have a serious talk about all this.

[Sean pulls the car over to the side of the road. He gets out and sits on the hood, motioning Daniel to join him. Daniel reluctantly agrees]

DANIEL: Sean Iisten-

SEAN: No, you listen! I went through hell just so we could stay in this country, so you could live a normal life! Now you’re just gonna throw it all away on some wild goose chase?! Don’t you even care? I swear this is like Nevada all over again!

[Daniel looks ashamed and on the verge of tears]

DANIEL: I’m s-sorry Sean. It’s just that… we haven’t seen each other in months, and you don’t answer my texts and I thought if I-

SEAN: No… you’re right. That wasn’t fair. I’m guess I’m still… trying to figure this whole thing out.

DANIEL: I know.

SEAN: Why didn’t you just tell me, instead of pulling a stupid stunt like this?

DANIEL: I… didn’t want to drag you into this.

SEAN: Well guess what Daniel? I’m in it now whether you like it or not. In case you haven’t noticed, we’re kind of a package deal.

DANIEL: I’m sorry.

SEAN: There you go again. Always apologizing after the fact. For once, I want you to think things through before you go running off on your next crusade!

DANIEL: I’ll try.

SEAN: You damn well better. Remember the deal we made with the Feds, no big splashes! If they catch even a whiff of what you’re doing… ¡se acabó! They’ll throw my ass back in jail and lock you in some government black site. We’ll never see each other again. Is that what you want?!

DANIEL: No of course not! It’s just… Chris has lost everything. I just want to help him get answers and justice. It’s the least we can after all he’s done for us. We owe him that much!

SEAN: [scoffs] You’ve really grown up, haven’t you?

[Sean leans over and hugs Daniel who is taken off-guard but sinks into Sean’s arms, savoring the familiar comfort]

DANIEL: What was that for?

SEAN: Oh nothing. Just getting you back for earlier.

[Daniel smiles and rests his head on his brother’s shoulder]

SEAN: Enano, listen… I’m sorry I’ve been so… distant. College’s just been hectic as fuck. I’ve got a side-gig going on, and I know haven’t always been… there for you, like I should be.

DANIEL: You don’t have to apologize, Sean. You’ve already done so much. You should go live your own life for a change. Besides, I’m not a kid anymore. I can take care of myself now.

SEAN: [laughs] I’ve heard that one before.

DANIEL: I’m serious! You don’t have to worry about me. Go to parties, hook up, cram for exams or whatever. I don’t wanna be a burden anymore.

SEAN: You’re not a burden, Daniel and worrying about you is kind of in the job description. I mean the hours are long and you don’t get paid, but at the end of the day it’s all worth it, you know?

DANIEL: Yeah I know… thanks, Sean.

If Daniel threatened Sean back at the bus depot:

DANIEL: S-sorry for what happened back at the bus station. I don’t know what got into me.

SEAN: You should be. We don’t see each other for weeks and the first thing you do is try to pick a fight.

DANIEL: I just… got caught up in the moment.

SEAN: Hope you haven’t been doubling up on your pills again.

DANIEL: Of course not! I’m not stupid Sean!

SEAN: Never said you were.

DANIEL: Sorry. I don’t wanna fight.

SEAN: Me neither. But just for the record, I would have kicked your ass.

DANIEL: (rolling his eyes) Sure Sean.

SEAN: I did last time.

DANIEL: That didn’t count! You caught me off-guard!

SEAN: That’s kind of the point, genius. You think the bad guys are gonna warn you before attacking?

DANIEL: What bad guys? Besides, even if one of them got the jump on me, I’d still stop them all. Easy-peasy!

SEAN: This isn’t a superhero movie, it’s real life. You gotta pay attention to your surroundings at all times!

DANIEL: (mockingly) Whatever you say… sensei.

DANIEL: Are you… doing okay?

SEAN: What do you mean?

DANIEL: You know… with college, and track and everything. I don’t really know much except what I hear from Lyla-

SEAN: Oh you mean your little spy? I still haven’t forgotten about the library incident you know.

DANIEL: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

SEAN: Yeah, yeah! play dumb! You’re lucky that marker was washable otherwise your ass would be grass right now!

DANIEL: I thought you were supposed to be able to see that sorta stuff coming.

SEAN: I was asleep! Besides that’s not how it works!

DANIEL: Pfft excuses!

SEAN: Don’t push it. I’m still mad at you, you know.

DANIEL: (making a funny face) Yeah? How about now?

SEAN: [laughs] Okay. I’m letting you off the hook this time.

[Daniel pulls a chock-o-crisp out his pocket and begins to eat]

SEAN: Still eating those?

DANIEL: (mouth full) What? I’m hungry!

SEAN: I read an article that chock-o-crisps can stunt your growth. You better cut back or you might be stuck an enano forever.

DANIEL: That’s bullshit! I grew 3 inches since Christmas. I’ll probably be taller than you soon!

SEAN: Ha You wish! [he ruffles Daniel’s hair]

DANIEL: Stop it! You know how long it took me to get it just right?

SEAN: Since when do you care so much about your hair?

DANIEL: Chris says that it looks cool like this.

SEAN: I thought you “always looked good”.

DANIEL: Yeah, but I just like it better this way.

SEAN: Okay, okay. Hands off the hair. Got it.

DANIEL: So Sean, you...

Seeing anyone? 

Talk to Mom lately?

Seeing anyone?

SEAN: Taking an interest in my love life? Who would've thought?

DANIEL: It’s not like I really care. I just… don’t want you to get lonely.

SEAN: Don’t worry about that, enano, I got plenty of term papers and angry TAs to keep me company.

DANIEL: I’m being serious Sean.

SEAN: Well if you must know, I did meet someone recently. We were actually supposed to have dinner tonight but… you know.

DANIEL: Oh… sorry.

SEAN: (jokingly) You should be. We don’t even live in the same state anymore and somehow you still manage to cock-block me!

DANIEL: (cheekily) That’s my real superpower!

SEAN: (rolling eyes) Yeah, yeah keep laughing. Who knows? Maybe someday, I’ll return the favor.

(They both laugh)

SEAN: How about you? How’s school? Anyone giving you shit?  

DANIEL: Nah. Everyone likes me, well except Wilkes and Brad. But they’re assholes. Anyway, there is this dance coming up next week and I still don’t have a date. I was thinking of asking this one girl, Millie. We text and stuff and I guess she’s pretty!

SEAN: Whoa dude, slow down! Focus on keeping your grades up. You’ve got plenty of time for that stuff later. Me on the other hand. I think I’m just about ready to die alone.

LYLA <-> FINN/CASSIDY (Determinant)

LYLA:

DANIEL: What about Lyla? She’s single! 

SEAN: Dude no! It’d be way too weird. We’ve known each other since forever. It would never work. And besides, I’d never take her from you.

DANIEL: S-shut up. That was just a stupid crush! I’m totally over her! 

SEAN: (deadpanning) Oh no. I’m sure she’ll be devastated.

CASSIDY:

DANIEL: What about… what’s her name? The smelly hippie with the purple wig.

SEAN: Cassidy? She’s all the way up in Canada, dude! Plus, I need to get clearance every time I leave the country. It would never work.

DANIEL: That’s okay. You can totally do better!

SEAN: Oh ouch. Still holding a grudge, eh?

DANIEL: I just think… you’re too good for her.

SEAN: I’ll take that as a compliment. I guess.

FINN:

DANIEL: What about Finn? Weren’t you totally into him?

SEAN: Finn’s still in jail dude. What are we supposed to do? Make out through the glass?

DANIEL: Haha true.

(If Sean forgave Finn in Episode 4)

DANIEL: Do you ever wish things turned out differently with him?

SEAN: Sure… sometimes, but life’s too short for regrets.

DANIEL: You’re starting to sound like Mom.

SEAN: I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just say that.

(If the player did not forgive Finn in Episode 4)

SEAN: He’s applying for early parole and wants to me be at his hearing. Can you believe that?

DANIEL: You’re not going, are you? He totally used us. He deserves to be locked up!

SEAN: Whoa where’s this coming from? Didn’t you use to be his biggest fan?

DANIEL: What are you talking about?

SEAN: (mockingly) Oooo Finn’s so cool! Finn lets me do whatever I want. I wish Finn was my brother!

DANIEL: What?! I never said that! Besides, I was just a stupid kid back then!

SEAN: Yeah and no one’s denying that.

DANIEL: Whatever. If you want to go, go.

SEAN: Nah… I’m done with Finn. There’s plenty of better guys out there.

Talk to Mom lately?

SEAN: Yeah got a call from her two weeks ago. Business has been booming ever since… they legalized it in Arizona. So, expect an extra big birthday present this year.

DANIEL: Bet you want to move there so you can (he makes a toking motion)

SEAN: Haha, maybe after I graduate!

DANIEL: (sigh) I miss Away.

SEAN: I do too. There was something special about that place. Everyone there was so chill. Not like here.

Ask about Away

DANIEL: And Joanne? Is she still-

SEAN: [sigh] The latest round of chemo didn’t work. So they’re preparing for the worst…

DANIEL: I want to see her Sean, before…

SEAN: I know enano. But Arizona’s too far and way too close to the border. The Feds would never go for it.

DANIEL: I don’t care!  I need to say goodbye to her, in-person.

SEAN: [sigh] Okay. I’ll talk to Flores, see if we can work something out.

DANIEL: Thanks Sean.

SEAN: Arthur and Stanley got a new puppy! His name is Rufus. He’s a bit of a handful but super cute.

DANIEL: No way!

SEAN: I’ve got pictures.

DANIEL: Dude! Send them now!

Ask About Sean’s Eye:

DANIEL: How’s your eye?

SEAN: Can’t complain. Still gets itchy from time to time but that’s what the eye lube’s for. 

DANIEL: Ew, can you not call it that?

Ask about Sean’s Appearance

DANIEL: Dude what’s with the beard? It looks all itchy and gross!

SEAN: You’re just jealous cuz you can’t grow one!

DANIEL: Could too! I just don’t want to.

SEAN: Yeah sure… Have your heuvos even dropped yet? 

DANIEL: Ewwww, shut up!

SEAN: I’ll take that as a no. And since you love my beard so much. Here, feel it! [He rubs his cheek against Daniel’s.]

DANIEL: (laughing) Stop Sean! That tickles! Quit it!

SEAN: RESPECT THE BEARD!

[Sean drapes his arm over Daniel who leans on his shoulder. They look at the night sky together]

DANIEL: Whoa... check out that moon!

SEAN: How about a team howl? For old times’ sake?

DANIEL: Yeah! Diaz Lobos! 

[They howl together as “Into the Woods” plays]

< Previous

[cutegirlmayra]

I love your jealous Sonic and I think the most canon one is boom, so may I ask for Boom!Sonamy with jealous Sonic? If you need a more specific idea maybe Amy gets a pet like a puppy that takes up all her attention so Sonic feels left out and in competition and feels the dog doesn't like him and doesn't want to share Amy.

You can find me talking about this prompt at 21:16 on the Pajama Blogs!

Hehe, jealous Sonic, it would be more canon in Boom, you’re right. I agree and share your opinions lolol but I think this would be cute and I hope I do it justice!

PROMPTS ARE ON SHUTDOWN! Sorry, you missed the grand opening and will have to wait till next time :( You can still ask questions though! But they need to be in accordance to the blog rules~<3

Prompt:

Comedy Chimp was in a hysteria of panic, the news had just announced the most popular celebrity pet: Tinkle Dipples, to be housed in Hedgehog Village while preparing to shoot a cameo in the famous Tommy Thunder movies.

Eggman and Amy compete in a tournament/competition to win the right to take care of Tinkle Dipples for the shooting, since his manager is going fangirl over Tommy Thunder, she doesn’t want to care for him and instead, has Amy--the winner of the tournament--sign some legal documents and take off to pursue her hero.

Sympathizing a bit with the manager but more excited about the cute, idol puppy, Amy takes her job very seriously as Eggman whines and complains about his loss and plans to do something about it..!

“I knew I should have played Dynamite Dalmatian but she had Rover Clover on the field, you can’t EXPLODE ROLL WITH MAXIUM LUCK ON YOUR OPPONENTS TEAM!” he wept and tossed his arms about as they wacked against his bed.

Orbot and Cubot just looked to each other, unsure how to comfort him. “Sir, perhaps scheming against Sonic and his friends while one of their prominent members is distracted could prove useful and make you feel better?” Orbot stated, as the two held up a pen and some graph paper, “Scheming always puts you in a better mood for evil...” He encouraged again.

Collecting himself and rubbing his massive hands under his glasses, he sniffled as he took the paper and started sketching. “Ohh...hoo... hoo...oh-ho? Oh ho! Oh-ho-ho-ho-wha-hahaha!!!” with soft cries that suddenly turned manic with evil, he scribbled more furiously and immediately cranked his back and threw his arms to an angle in his signature laughter.

Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles were playing beachball when Sticks poked her head out of the local garage dump, “Heeeey, wait a minute!” she threw a banana peel off her head a second, “Volleyball and Beachball are the same things! Why are they called differently!? Do they respond to the same name!?”

“Guess you could call it Beach Volleyball.” Tails shrugged, “Though, technically, beachball is the thing you use to play volleyball...” As he continued, Knuckles spiked and knocked him down while he was contemplating it.

“Haha! Snooze you loose!” Knuckles mocked, throwing his arms down to point at Tails.

“Grr... Knuckles! We’re on the same team!” He spat out sand and dusted himself off.

“Oh.” Knuckles then gestured to himself, “Well, then I was awake and quaked!”

Tails shook his head, “Sonic, do you have to play on your own team?”

“What? I’m fast enough for two!” Showing off his amazing speed, Sonic zipped around the court to where it looked like Sonic was literally playing by himself, “I could even play all teams!” He snatched the ball from the ground and pushed--or lightly placed--Knuckles and Tails out of the field to then play the game by himself.

“Still seems a bit unfair, though.” Tails pouted, folding his arms.

“No, no. Shh!!! I wanna see which team wins!” Knuckles became excited, “Woo! Go, Left field Sonic! Ah! No! Watch out, Right field Sonic! Nooo..!!! Oh, phew... Wait-Sonic!” Knuckles went through typical spectators reactions, gripping his head, tugging on his hair, before cheering yet again, “Yeeeahhh! Good forward arm there, Left field Sonic! Rooted for your along! ... Hey, which one’s Sonic again?” he looked to Tails.

“At least you got the fields right.” Tails side-commented before stepping back up to Sonic. “Is this because Amy wouldn’t come down to the beach today?”

“Yeah, we can’t help it if I’m too good for the two of ya.” He twirled the ball on his finger, “Besides, Amy can’t--and won’t--part with that Tinkle... Dinkle... Winkle... whatever his name is!” Sonic fanned a hand out, masking his own opinions on it. “Amy’s obsessed with that thing...”

“Huh, I always thought Amy was obsessed with y-” Tails seemed to panic and jumped up to cover Knuckles’s mouth.

“Knuckles-!” he cried out, then lowered his voice to whisper down to him, clinging to his head and shoulder. “We’re supposed to pretend we don’t know anything about that...”

“Anything about what now?” Sonic was still doing tricks with the volleyball.

“N-nothing!” Tails waved his hands out and flew a moment in the air. “An-anyway, I don’t think I’m really in the mood to keep playing. I’ve got uh... some... some engineering stuff to work on! Bye, Sonic!” He waved and took off.

“Engine-erring!?” Sticks spat out a flat tire that had been thrown away that she was gnawing on to find the trapped gerbil that she believed made the car’s wheels turn and free it from it’s imprisonment at last. “Oh no, you don’t!” she jumped out and rushed after him, barking as he flew up and in a bit of surprised fright, tried to dodge her but she jumped and grabbed his foot. “You aren’t making nothing to torture these gerbils anymore!”

“W-wha-what are you talking about!? Le-let goooo!!!” The two flew off and seemed to crash somewhere.

“I-uh... better check on that.” Knuckles saw Sonic offering to share the ball with him but decided to check on his friends first. “Sticks! Wait! I’m sure that nice village of Gogobas are still safely in their pity parties!”

Sonic sighed, “Oooh...” And let the ball go to kick it, letting it roll as a Eggman spybot was hit out of a bush and flew up.

“Guess I’ll check on Amy then...” Sonic took off towards her house.

“Hehehe-huhuhu...” Eggman rubbed his hands together, sitting happily in front of his screen in his evil lair. “There we go... I’ll snatch Mr. Tinkle Dipples the second Amy’s distracted by Sonic!” He roared confidently in laughter. “My machine is almost complete! Orbot! Cubot!”

“Yes, Doctor?!” Cubot nervously saluted as Eggman turned around to face the two in his spinning chair.

“Make sure my robot pooch is fully operational!”

“Yes, doctor!” The two took off...

Sonic raced to the door, but before knocking, looked himself over in the reflection of a window and adjusted his quills, then tightened his bandana. He choked, loosening the bandana again and grumbling to himself something but the only audible line one could hear was--”Never learned to tie a tie...” before rushing back to door and knocking this time.

“Busy!” Amy cried from within.

His entire confident air deflated, and he drooped forward with his arms hanging down, “Oooh... Uh, it’s me! Sonic! ... Sonic The Hedgehog!” He puffed himself up just a little bit more, calling and leaning more towards the door. “Hero extraordinary! ... So much better than a puppy...” He folded his arms and mumbled the last bit to himself.

“Oh-oh... C-coming!” Amy seemed to scramble but Sonic could hear multiple layers of locks, chairs, wooden-door stoppers and more start being cleared away like a construction site. She peeked open the door, “Come in!” she chimed, “Quickly, quickly, quickly..!” She then rushed him in and put one single lock back on the door. “Eh, I’ll take of that later.”

“Woah, what’s with the, uh... high-end security arrangement, Ames?” Sonic thumbed-back to the door but Amy rushed over to a stool with a soft pillow on it, making the little puppy look like royalty as his tongue hung out and he drooled.

His eyes grew intensely large like in anime and shined, trying to such Sonic into his cuteness as Sonic felt the pull but leaned away.

It shone with heavenly aura as it’s eyes kept growing bigger but Sonic about-faced and turned to Amy, “Uhh... How’s the pooch-sitting coming along-” he was surprised to see she was completely captivated by the puppy and already squatting by the stool, gawking and taking pictures as her own eyes looked bigger than normal.

“Aww, cute puppy! Sweet boy! Look over hereee~” she cooed and coddled as it continued to pant, it’s eyes normal to Sonic now. “Who’s the cutest, wutest, sweetest, squishiest cheek boy ever?~” she then scrunched up his cheeks and played with them as they jiggled and wobbled to her touch, spraying drool everywhere...

“Oh.” He realized he was being ignored. “Alright, no worries, just the most dashing man of the hour in your house... No need to over-celebrate.” He frowned and pushed his arms straight down again. “Dumb dog.” he muttered under his breath.

“WHAT DID YOU SAY!?” Amy’s big, sparkling eyes went right into his face, as though a brainwashed-slave to this puppy as he shook his head in intimidation at her creepy smile.

“N-no-nothing! Just how cute the puppy iswh! Is-!” he almost mimicked Amy’s baby-talk on accident. “Ehem, Amy, I normally would never do this under typical and honorable circumstances but in this case-” He shoved her hands to his cheeks, “I think you see my point.” he beamed.

“...Uh, I guess?” Amy took her hands off his cheeks, “You hungry or something?”

He deflated yet again, his eyes just saucers of white. “N... No.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“...Yes.” He shrugged down, and as she went to the kitchen, he glared and clenched his jaw at the puppy. He zipped over to it, “Listen you, I don’t know what fame has done to your head or anything, but I’m not here to stand for your pompous treatment of my friend!”

The dog continued to drool, one eye blinking.

“But I’ll have you know that I’m the big shot in these parts! And Amy just happens to be madly in love with me!” He pointed to himself and then picked up the constantly panting dog. “Not you. So you can wag your little tail and stick out your tongue somewhere else!” He dashed to one of Amy’s bird cages and shoved the dog in, causing a minor yelp from it but it wasn’t hurt, just surprised as Sonic tarped it and headed back to Amy.

Sitting at the counter, he then crossed his legs, “So-ho-ho~ Amy~ Have I told you about the one time I-”

“Yep.” Amy continued to work on the food.

“I-I didn’t even say it.” Sonic squinted his eyes in suspicion at her.

“Uh-huh.”

“...Are you even listening to me?”

“All done!” she poured something into a bowl.

“Awesome! You’re cooking, might I say, is way better than Meh Burger when it comes to the ol’Sonic engine!” he rubbed his stomach and licked his chops before Amy swiped the bowl away from him as he went to bite down. “H-huh..? What just happened...” he spoke with his mouth open, mid-bite again, before he saw the puppy had mysteriously wound-up on the pillow stool again, Amy bringing the deluxe dog food over to him.

“Here you go, Mr. Tinkle Dinkles~ Yes, who’s hungry? Who’s the biggest star in Hedgehog Village and the world? And the whole wide wittle world? You are~ You are, you good boy~” she petted him as he leaned his head back, thumped his leg at her praise and loving scratches, and then flopped over her lap to gorge himself in her home-prepared dog food.

Sonic leaned against the couch, narrowing his eyes at the sight as he muttered more curses for the dog under his breath...

He had a thought bubble that then showed a chibi-version of Amy and the pooch, her scratching his belly and loving on him but the dog faded and a Chibi-Sonic replaced it. Snickering and cackling as Chibi-Amy continued her smothering but the Dog was now whining with it’s tail between it’s legs, trapped in a Meh Burger costume with a sign that read: ‘Will pee for attention’.

Sonic continued to snicker to himself before the doorbell rang again.

“Oh?” Amy lightly placed the dog back on his stool and used a finely made napkin with ‘Fuzzy Puppy Buddies’ logo on it to clean up his mouth before heading to the door. “Who could that be?”

While Amy was distracted, Sonic sped over to the dog, grabbed it, pulled back the window and tossed the dog with a under-handed swing out the window. It hung in the air a moment before going, “Oof?” like a little woof and fell straight down...

Into Eggman’s hands...

“Hehehe, hohoho..!” Eggman placed a mechanical dog down, doing the exact animations as the dumb little creature in the first place. “Now you’re coming with daddy sweetie~ Who’s a big, bright, beautiful star? You are~ You are Mr. Tinkle Dipples~ Uncle Eggy has a nice place set up just for you~” he wiggled his finger to the puppy and continued to adore it secretly while sneaking away.

“I’m gonna miss Metal Pooch.” Cubot wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. “Such beautiful destruction he caused...”

“Yeah... The steel heart mends, Cubot. Give it time to rust.” Orbot patted Cubot and helped turn him away from the sight.

When Amy closed the door again, she turned around with a shriek, panicking and tearing her house up looking for the dog. Sonic tried everything to get her to turn her attention to him, even momentarily throwing away his pride and setting up a floor-lounge with candle-lit setting with a rose in and across his mouth,... but she was too busy searching to see.

He spat out the rose and it hit her on the back of her head, “Ah! Sonic! We don’t have time for-...” Her eyes shrunk at the scene, and it might have been enough as their eyes met and romantic music started playing as he lifted up his foot and clicked a radio with his heel.

“Who’s a good boy..?” he flirted, but suddenly...

“BARK. BARK. I AM BARKING LIKE A CUTE, WITTLE BOY. BARK. BARK.”

“Oh my stars!” Amy raced to the window, “Mr. Tinkle Dipples!? What are you doing out here?” she had big, anime eyes again... as though love was blinding her from seeing the fakeness of the dog.

She cradled it in her arms after reaching down the window to get it.

“BARK. BARK. I AM THE GOODEST OF BOYS.” It’s robot voice was a dead giveaway, but Sonic was amazed to see that Amy kept caring for it, spoon-feeding it as it took the food but lifted its tail to dispel it out the other end.

“Ohh~ Did Tinkle Dipples make a wittle present-mess-le?” Amy put her hands to her hips as Sonic couldn’t take it anymore.

“HE’S A ROBOT!” He spindashed the Eggman robot as it powered down.

“Ohh... Goodest of b-b-boys...” and shut down.

“NNNOOOO!!!” Amy freaked out, crying and holding him in her lowered arms.

“Amy! Snap out of it! It’s a decoy!” Sonic put his hands on her shoulders and shook her, and her eyes returned to normal. “H-huh? Sonic? When did you get here?”

He lowered his eyes in agitation, but then the news came on.

“This just came in, T.W Barker is suing Amy Rose for a violation of her contract, that’s right, MR. TINKLE DIPPLES IS MISSING! AHH!! THAT POOR, INNOCENT BOY! AHH! AHH, THE AGONY! Amy’s reputation is ruined by the way and the world will never forgive her awful crime of LOSING THE MOST ADORABLE PUPPY IN THE WOR-RL-RLD!!!” The eagle was losing himself in his grief, as Amy’s eyes twitched and she brought out her hammer, looking ready to murder Sonic.

“Wait!” He dodged, “Amy, listen to me! YIKES!” he had to dodge Amy all the way to Eggman’s, where they defeated him to get the puppy back, who was still as still and in a loop-animation as ever, but wagged its tail and licked Sonic’s face when successfully brought to the manager.

Amy’s reputation was spared and Cubot and Orbot got Tails to fix Metal Pooch, leaving him to a happy life with Mombot.

She sat and stroked him, “THERE. THERE. WHO’S THE GOODEST BOY IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD BESIDES MY TWO OTHER EVIL BOY SONS?”

Metal Pooch continued the animation cycle, “I AM. I AM GOODEST BOY OF YOUR TWO EVIL SONS. BARK. BARK.”

Eggman frowned, watching from a window, “Ohh... Wait, how’d he end up there!?”

Cubot still visits to give him screws as a treat.

Amy looked to her friends, “Huh, I guess the moral here is to not let celebrities take over your lives and make you forget about your real friends...” She opened her arms up to everyone but instead, T.W Barker popped up, shocking everyone.

“And always keep your contractual obligations~” he winked to the camera with a sly grin. 

“Evenwhenabluehedgehog,that’sbeentheloveofyourlifeforwhoknowshowlong,isflirtingwithyoujustbecausejealousyisapartofacopingmechanismoftennotprescribedwithourcompany’sproductremembertobrushyourteethandsayyourprayerssuckersthisistotallylegitmarketingschemes.” 

he muttered under his breath as though the legalities at the end of a radio or t.v commercials.

END.

[yellowmagicalgirl]

Seklos and Gaylen, They Were Cagemates! Chapter 3: Reaching Out

Aja and Archie try to talk to their respective allies. Douxie is experimented on.

Thank you to everyone who reblogged and commented on the previous chapter 🥰

Spoiler/trigger warning: kidnapping, medieval torture (referenced only), needles, medical torture, dehumanization, unsafe medical practices (explained in more detail at the end of the chapter), referenced death.

If you would like to skip the torture scene/unsafe medical practices, skip the second scene; the end of chapter notes will have a brief recap of the scene with any plot-important stuff in there.

AO3

FFN

“Hey, hey, Aja, it’s gonna be okay,” Steve said to her over the phone. “I’m sure he’s fine. Maybe he just went for a walk this morning as well?”

Aja sniffled. “He doesn’t like it outside, though. He doesn’t like trees.”

“But he went outside yesterday, right? When you were on the phone with me? Maybe he came back and then went for another walk?”

“I mean, I guess, but I don’t think so. Zadra’s been on the alert all morning.”

“Could he have snuck out when she was asleep?”

“Zadra is a taylon; they’re trained to need very little sleep. Plus, I think I saw her making coffee using one of the energy drinks Stuart dropped off for her as a welcome-to-Earth gift.” Aja laughed a little at that, thankful for the distraction from her missing brother, and then she frowned.

She shouldn’t have been distracting herself from the fact that Krel was missing.

“Does anyone else know that Krel’s missing? If we get a big enough group searching for him –“

“No, we can’t. Maybe if he were human, sure, but if anything, people are going to see him as the enemy! If we get a big enough group, he’ll be dead!” Steve made a concerned noise; she had scared him. “I’m sorry for yelling; I’m just worried.”

“I know, I get it. But you weren’t around for all of yesterday’s battle; the people of Arcadia Oaks don’t mind the trolls. They gave them shelter from the sun.”

“But trolls were seen helping humans. Akiridions weren’t. Even if there are humans who would help us, how could we be sure no one would sell us out to bounty hunters, especially when Krel’s hurt? Or what if they did the same to Varvatos, for that matter?”

“Okay, I won’t push you if you aren’t ready. But do you have any other options – people who already know and you trust – than just me and Zadra? Because more people looking for Krel means more people that might find him and bring him back safe.”

Douxie was strapped down to a metal table by his arms and legs. He was cold, because his only clothing was a thin hospital gown, and the table was a cold metal. His head hurt from where he had been hit. He was hungry because he didn’t know when the last time he had eaten was. It had been a long time since he hadn’t known if he’d be getting a meal any time soon, but unlike back then he wasn’t sure if he would be able to eat even if food was offered. He felt too nauseous with dread.

He was going to be tortured. Even the knights wouldn’t have tortured Douxie. He was a wizard, yes, but he had been a child living on the streets. He wouldn’t have been any use in finding the few covens and independent wizards living in Camelot in defiance of King Arthur’s laws. They wouldn’t have tortured him for information; they would have just given him a swift death by the sword. They nearly had, until Merlin had saved him.

Douxie suspected that Merlin wasn’t going to save him from this Area 49-D (or whatever the four-armed alien had called it) place. Yes, his master was going to come back for him, despite all the sympathetic looks that Archie, Zoe, and Tatik Margarid gave him when they thought he wasn’t looking. But Merlin had said to wait in Arcadia. And despite Douxie’s efforts, he wasn’t following them. Hopefully Merlin wouldn’t be too disappointed in Douxie, despite how he always was. A better apprentice wouldn’t have been caught by humans with tasers who were about to…

Honestly, Douxie wasn’t quite sure what they were going to do to him. He remembered hearing about how people would be hung by their thumbs and have fires lit under their feet. Neither of those made sense with being strapped down.

An elastic band was tightly tied around his lower arm, and one of the orange suited technicians jabbed a needle into one of the veins in his hand.

Douxie whimpered as the blood began to flow out from his hand into the vial. It hurt so much.

“Hey, how many vials do we need for testing right now?” asked one of the two technicians.

“I think the tests are being done in pairs, right?”

“Yeah, that makes sense.” They switched to a second vial. “So, how many extra should we take?”

“We don’t want it to die on us too early.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Besides, we can always jab it more later.” The room was silent aside from the pained noises escaping Douxie’s throat. They finished filling the second vial.

“Okay, time for the second pair.”

“Wha-“ Douxie started, but he felt an odd jolt run through his system as one of the technicians took a remote and turned a dial. The lights on his cuffs dimmed slightly. He still felt cold, sore, nauseous, hungry, and scared, but he felt more normal than he had ever since the Battle of the Bands.

“Do y’think its blood samples will be any different from that other freak we captured?” asked one of the technicians.

“Eh, that’s our job to find out. Plus, we’ve gotten more funding since that other magical freak died.”

Douxie tried very hard not to hyperventilate. They had captured another wizard and probably tortured them to death. They would probably do the same to him.

“Maybe now we could see if there’s any changes in its blood when we turn down the magic suppressors.” The technician grabbed the remote and turned the dial again. Once more, he felt better.

Douxie’s eyes widened. Magic, of course! That’s what the cuffs were doing to him. Gritting his teeth, Douxie reached out to his magic. It was barely there, but his hands started glowing. Maybe he could force the needle out of his hand. His eyebrows drew together in concentration, and his hands began to glow.

A fist connected with his jaw. Tears formed in Douxie’s eyes as he lost his concentration.

“Don’t even think about it,” the technician who had punched Douxie said to him. “I’d be more than happy to beat you up, you fucking freak, so go ahead and fight back. There’s more where that came from.”

Douxie lost track of the time until they finally finished collecting his blood. Before they undid the restraints they took his magic from him once more. He was lightheaded when they finally threw him back in his cage. He gazed at his reflection. There were multiple bruises forming on his face. He looked beyond the glass and frowned, then winced because that made the bruises hurt more. The four-armed alien was gone. Douxie hoped he would come back. He could use a friend.

His face hurt. He was cold, because the glass cage and thin gown didn’t keep the chill from his bones. He was nauseous and hungry at the same time. Once more, he couldn't feel his magic.

The technicians hadn’t even given him a bandage for the bleeding.

Hex Tech didn’t open until nine AM, but Zoe always got there at a quarter to eight. She had to as manager and matriarch. Well, mainly as matriarch, because her business skills caused her to constantly be working the front desk in longer shifts than the state of California considered legal. It didn’t help that, as much as Zoe tried to keep up to speed with the modern era, wizards born after the industrial revolution were a little more proficient with picking up new things. Like how to play nice with the witches running corporate.

Zoe stretched and yawned. Her coven would have to have a meeting soon about how much they would reveal. The youngest members of the coven wanted to reveal themselves since the whole town knew about trolls. Older members of the coven were concerned, whether it be about the town potentially turning on them, or about the potential that revealing that their franchise was a coven would put all the other Hex Tech-affiliated covens in danger, since presumably they didn’t have to deal with trollish invasions. And, of course, since the majority of her coven had been born after Killahead, every single wizard who refused to learn more than an extremely basic monsterology was demanding answers on why lumps of rock had attacked the town.

Well, at least most of the rubble was gone, probably eaten. Most of it, except for a broken red-and-white guitar laying in front of the door to Hex Tech. Great. Just great. She hadn’t seen much rubble on her way her way to work and here it was. She knelt down to grab it and then she saw a stray black cat curled up next to the guitar.

No.

Not a stray.

No stray cat had a pair of glasses on his face.

“Archie? What’re you doing here? And is that Douxie’s guitar?” As forgetful as Douxie could be, he had always been rather responsible. Zoe knew she had gone soft when she caught herself thinking he was too responsible, not when his childhood was far more similar to her own than that of the children of this century. Douxie knew the value of craftsmanship and the fear of shortages, and he wouldn’t just leave his guitar on the sidewalk with his just-waking familiar.

Archie looked up at her. The fur around his eyes was stained by tears. “I need your help. I can’t sense Douxie anymore.”

Zoe staggered to the door, trying to keep her breathing steady. She fished in her pocket for her keys with one hand and made a fist with the other, digging her nails into her palm to ground herself. She was the coven matriarch; she couldn’t break down even though she wanted to right now. As far as she could recall, the only thing that could break a familiar bond was death. No. No. She was used to outliving people she cared about, but the last few centuries had made her go soft. Douxie was only a kid; he shouldn’t be dead.

“Let’s go inside,” Zoe said, voice shaking.

A/N: Sorry about the lack of Krel in this one; I promise he'll be here next chapter! Also, Douxie's backstory is a bit different from show canon, mainly because I'm changing up the Wizards lore in such a way that time travel isn't needed because I'm not a time travel fan.

Torture scene recap: Douxie is strapped down and has his blood taken from him. He learns that the cuffs are blocking his magic, but can be adjusted so that he can have access to it. Area 49-B is attempting to learn if the amount of magic he has access to can be detected in his blood. He also learns Area 49-B captured another wizard previously, but that wizard is dead now. Douxie attempts to use his magic only to be punched for fighting back.

On the unsafe medical practices found in this chapter: hand-based blood draws suck; I've had them and they've always hurt. However, they can be safely done, and work especially well if you're too dehydrated for the nurses to find the veins in your elbows. The personnel are only doing it in the hand because it hurts, though. In addition, they chose not to sterilize the injection site, even though this could lead to Douxie getting an infection. In addition, Douxie not receiving a bandage contributes to both blood loss and risk of infection. Torture ≠ sound science.

[drabbles-of-writing]

First Class Mess

This is part of my Four Years AU

AO3

Masterpost

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Living with Edric and Emira had it’s ups and downs.

On one hand, Amity could finally get away from her parents. It wasn’t a permanent living space, and she always made sure to spend at least a few nights at her parents house, excusing her absence as being busy with the Emperor’s Coven. But it was far better than trying to hide at the Owl House where her anxiety spiked through the roof, no offence to the family.

On the other hand, her siblings were an absolute mess.

,

“Rule number five, I don’t wanna see any girlfriends here.”

“Wow, okay, no, I veto that rule.” Emira said immediately, leaning her head off the couch arm to look over at her brother, who was sitting on the kitchen counter.

“Yeah, what gives?” Amity agreed, sitting on her knees on the couch.

“Amity, is there something you’d like to share with the class?” Emira asked, glancing back at her with a raised brow.

“You and I both know he just means Viney and Luz,” Amity growled, crossing her arms. “He just prefers to use the term girlfriends.”

“I meant they can’t stay over for the night,” Edric said, raising his hands defensively. “This apartment can barely fit the three of us without falling apart.” He said, gesturing to the room around them, which, admittedly, did look pretty ghetto.

“I don’t need to be dealing with you two causing more damage with your little crushes. They’re kind of known for causing trouble.” He said matter-of-factly. “And yes, I’m spreading this to Emira because it’s rude to stick it only on Amity.”

“Wow, thanks,” Amity grumbled as Emira gave an offended gasp.

“Unless someone is dying, I don’t wanna see any dates in here, understand?” Edric said. “At least not until we’ve gotten everything together in some capacity.”

“I resent this rule,” Emira insisted stubbornly.

“Yeah? Well, I’m older, therefore I win.” Edric said smugly.

“Ed, it was by eleven minutes.” ,

And that’s how Amity came to the apartment in the middle of a thunderstorm to find Edric and Jerbo in the kitchen. Both a little too close to be casual.

The second they registered the door opening, Edric sprung back. Jerbo whirled around from where he was perched on the kitchen counter (seriously, that thing can only hold so much weight).

Both of them looked like King when he’d been caught stealing from the fridge for the fifth time that week.

Amity stared at them for a few moments, her brain a little fried from dealing with the pelting boiling rain earlier.

“You’re such a hypocrite, Ed.” She finally said, walking in and kicking the door shut behind her.

“It’s just Jerbo!” Edric defended frantically, looking wildly between Amity and a very perplexed Jerbo.

“The fact you immediately knew which rule I was talking about isn’t helping your situation,” Amity called back, throwing off her overly thick coat onto the hanger by the door, too lazy to take off her Emperor’s Coven cloak on underneath.

“And unless you want Emira to taunt you endlessly, I suggest Jerbo should leave soon. No offence,” She added, looking towards the upperclassmen.

“None taken,” Jerbo said with a wave of his hand. “Viney’s not much different.”

Edric groaned and slumped against the counter beside Jerbo, head hanging. Jerbo gave him a sympathetic pat on the back.

Amity kicked off her boots and flopped dramatically onto the couch, waving her hand above her where the boys could see.

“Either go make out downstairs or make up your mind, ‘kay? Cause I’m tired.”

Jerbo made a strangled wheezing-like noise that reminded Amity of a deflating squeaky toy. Edric sprung upwards, flushing brightly.

“We were not making out!” He exclaimed, voice strained. “We were doing nothing even remotely like that, even!”

Amity sat up on the couch, turning her head to look over at her brother with a deadpan stare. She looked like she wanted to say something, but resigned to just sighing and laying back down on the couch.

“Whatever. I’m blackmailing you with this later.”

“You suck,”

,

“Quick question,” Emira said, poking her head into Amity’s room. “I can still get away with doing something illegal here, right?”

Amity looked up from her book, giving her sister a look that said her question was the stupidest thing she’d ever heard.

“I’m only a cop when on the clock, Em.” Amity said. “Anything illegal you do when I’m not working is fair game. Legally speaking.”

“Nice,” Emira pumped a fist.

“Can I ask what you’re planning on doing?” Amity raised a brow.

“You gonna rat us out?”

“I’d be a hypocrite if I did. Like somebody in this house!” Amity added the last part notably louder.

“Amity, shut up!” Edric called back.

“...I’m gonna ask about that later.” Emira said, pointing a finger at Amity. “Anyway, Viney can’t afford the supplies she needs to help out some baby bearstripes she found. So we were just gonna steal it and stash the supplies here.”

“You’re whipped,” Edric’s voice floated from the main room.

“Shut it, Ed!” Emira snapped back.

“Yeah, sure, go steal some stuff.” Amity shrugged. “I’m not working till tomorrow.”

“So we can totally commit crimes now?” Edric asked, suddenly appearing being Emira, looking far too excited.

“I mean, yeah, but I wouldn’t recommend it.” Amity said.

“If it’s a bad enough crime I could be put on a mission to hunt the two of you down. Obviously I’m not going to raid this apartment but if I catch you on the streets it is on sight.” She warned.

“Oh, so your little Owl family gets a free pass, but we don’t?” Edric scoffed.

“I do not give them a free pass!” Amity protested. “I throw Eda in jail all the time. I’ve never even had to break her out!”

“Right, sorry,” Emira amended. “Ed meant that your hopeless crush gets a free pass, but we don’t?”

Amity growled and threw her book at the two of them. They quickly jumped back and swung the door shut, letting the book hit it instead.

“That’s a yes,” Edric snickered.

“I’m not the only one who gives crushes a free pass!” Amity shouted after them.

There were a few beats of silence.

“You have got to be kidding me, Ed.”

,

Emira knew the rules of the apartment. Which meant there were barely any and they fluctuated from day to day.

The two big ones were that anything that happened in the apartment was a safe zone, and to avoid bringing over anyone associated with the Owl House, which sadly, included Viney and Jerbo, seeing as they were friends with Luz.

They loved everyone in the Owl House, they really did. But everyone in that family was known to be very chaotic, and they’d probably break the shabby apartment or piss off the neighbors more than the siblings already had.

It was simply a precaution.

Emira, however, was a known rule-breaker.

So, it wasn’t a surprise to find Viney sitting in the living room, currently wrapping up Emira’s sprained wrist.

“You're a mess,” Viney sighed, slowly bandaging her arm. “Can’t you ask your parents to cover your medical bills?”

“Course I can, but at one in the morning?” Emira scoffed, keeping her voice low. “I’ll bug them about it later.”

“Only you would get a sprained wrist and say it’s not that big a deal,” Viney sighed, gently raising Emira’s hand and letting her hand glow, doing her best to ease the pain.

“Eh, I’d say it was worth it anyway,” Emira hissed, flinching as she felt a sharp pain in her wrist.

“Sorry, sorry,” Viney whispered, laying her free hand over Emira’s to hold her still as she slowly healed the sprain as best she could.

“I don’t have any healing glyphs, so you’ll just have to leave it be till morning. The splint should work for now, though.” She continued, looking up at Emira.

Emira was staring at where Viney was holding her hand, blushing with her ears lowered, eyes blown wide.

Though that last part might’ve been because the only light was the moon shining through the small window beside the two.

“Em?” Viney tilted her head, smiling.

“Huh?” Emira jerked her head up. “Sorry, did, uh, did you say something?” 

Viney giggled and removed her glowing hand from Emira’s wrist, though she kept holding up her arm with her other hand.

“You’re ridiculous,” She said, shaking her head.

“All the best people are,” Emira replied, dipping her head to properly meet the shorter witch’s eyes.

Viney smiled and lightly pressed her forehead against Emira’s causing the girl to freeze and stiffen up.

Emira’s face lit up and her eyes darted around, though she didn’t move away.

“S-so, sorry to hi-hide you out here,” She stuttered, shoulders hunched. “But Ed pre-pretty much broke...broke that rule s-so I’m sure it’s not...not that big a--”

“Em,”

Viney leaned forward more and squished their noses together, giving the Blight a rather amused look.

Emira quickly shut her mouth with an audible clack, meeting the witch’s gaze.

Viney slowly tilted her head forward, her eyes closing.

Emira did her best to calm her heart before leaning in as well.

Something clattered, loudly, on the kitchen floor.

Viney froze and jumped back, startled. Emira only slumped, thoroughly annoyed.

“It is one AM!” Emira snapped, leaning around the couch. “Ed, what are you doing--”

It wasn’t Ed.

Amity shut the fridge, a slice of bread in her mouth and a bag of snacks in her hands, along with the cup she had dropped.

She looked over, surprised to see Emira, before morphing into a look of understanding when she saw Viney peek out as well.

Amity took out the bread in her mouth, setting the cup down in it’s previous position by the sink.

“Carry on,” She said calmly, holding her snacks as she walked out of the kitchen and back to her room.

Emira glared in the direction where Amity left for a moment before she heard a snort behind her.

She looked back, seeing Viney was doing her best to smother a laugh.

“...what?” Emira demanded, raising a brow.

Viney broke into a fit of giggles then, barely able to smother a loud laugh that would definitely wake up Edric.

“I’m sorry, it’s just--I wasn’t expecting that!” She snickered. “What’s your sister even doing up this late?”

“I guess being up at ungodly hours just runs in the family,” Emira sighed, embarrassed as she picked up one of the pillows that had fallen off the couch with her uninjured hand and placed it in her lap.

“I take it that was probably my cue to leave,” Viney chuckled, standing up. “My dad will get worried if I’m not there in the morning.”

“Oh, yeah, right,” Emira said, visibly deflating.

“Keep off that hand, you hear me?” Viney said, gathering up her bandages and extra splints into her bag. “And go to the hospital to get it properly fixed in the morning.”

“I know, I know,” Emira muttered bitterly, looking up at Viney with puppy-dog eyes. “Do you have to go?”

“Sorry, Em. But I’d rather get at least some amounts of sleep.” Viney said. “I’ll check on you tomorrow, okay?” She said, leaning down and kissing Emira’s forehead.

Emira, somehow, lit up even brighter with her ears twitching downwards. She held her pillow tighter and buried her face in it.

“‘Kay,” She mumbled shlyly.

Viney giggled and stepped back, making her way towards the door. 

“Don’t lay on your hand too much,” She added, opening the door.

“‘Kay,” Emira repeated, lifting her head ever so slightly and watching Viney with one eye.

Viney gave a small wave before stepping out of the apartment, shutting the door behind her.

Emira only continued watching the door where Viney left, absolutely lovestruck.

“All I wanted to get was a drink,” Came a grumble behind her.

“Amity!” Emira gasped, sitting upright and looking around the couch again to see Amity had wandered back in to grab a drink. 

“I didn’t ask to see my sisters failing flirting attempts,” Amity muttered, pouring herself a cup of apple juice.

“Go back to bed!”

“I’d rather die,”

,

“Okay, okay, but what if instead of teeth, the worm had legs inside its mouth.”

“Ed, it’s like, ten. I’m not doing this right now,” Emira groaned, sitting on her bed as Edric sat on the floor beside her.

“Helps keep us awake, doesn’t it?” Edric shrugged. “Shouldn’t Amity have come back by now?”

“Maybe she just decided to sleep over and forgot to tell us,” Emira said, checking her scroll.

Sure enough, her last text from Amity, thirty minutes ago, only said ‘I’ll be back soon.’

“Doesn’t really seem like her, though.” Edric frowned.

The sound of a window opening caught their attention. Both of them scrambled out of Emira’s room and peered around the corner, curious.

Amity crawled in through the window, brushing herself off before turning back around.

Luz was outside the window, standing on her staff as it flew beside the open window. The staff lowered so Luz could learn her arms on the windowsill, giving Amity a smug look.

“See? I’m not that bad of a flier,” She said proudly.

“Uh huh, sure.” Amity said, sounding amused. “After the first couple of terrifying minutes,”

“You wound me,” Luz said with a dramatic sigh. “Why must I be cursed to be with such a cruel witch?”

“Oh hush,” Amity chuckled, batting at Luz’s arm. “You made me late!”

“Was it worth it, though?” Luz said, tilting her head with a grin.

“...yeah,” Amity admitted, turning her head away, a faint blush on her cheeks.

“That’s the Noceda charm for ya,” Luz winked.

“You’re impossible,” Amity grumbled bashfully.

“Yeah, but you like that.” Luz said, leaning forward through the window.

“Very much so,” Amity agreed, meeting Luz’s chaste kiss with a smile.

“Wha--”

Edric, who had been leaning too far out, fumbled and fell over with a loud thump. Much to Emira’s chagrin.

Amity broke the kiss and whirled around, face flushing even more when she spotted both of her siblings.

“When did you two get here?” She demanded, pressing back on the windowsill, where Luz was now staring in, startled.

“We live here, Amity.” Emira deadpanned, not bothering to help up Edric. “And you have some explaining to do, young lady!”

“I think I’m just gonna…” Luz slowly flew a few feet away from the window. “I think I’m gonna go…”

“Yeah, you probably should.” Amity sighed, looking back. “Bye, Luz.” “See you tomorrow,” Luz gave a shy smile before sitting appropriately on her staff and flying off in a flash, clearly embarrassed about the situation as well.

“Hold on!” Edric shot up from the floor. “Since when was this a thing?”

“It was recent,” Amity grumbled, shutting the window.

“Are you telling me our Mittens got herself a girlfriend?” Emira asked excitedly, spinning the girl around.

“I can’t believe she beat me,” Edric muttered, crossing his arms as he sat dramatically on the couch.

“Suck it,” Amity teased, sticking out her tongue. “And listen, I was planning on telling you, but it was pretty recent and we didn’t really--”

“How recent, exactly?” Emira raised a disbelieving brow.

Amity looked away, ears flicked back.

“Like a week and a half...?”

“...that’s reasonable.” Emira nodded, releasing her sister. “And it was about time, too!” She said, ruffling her hair.

Amity slapped away her sister's hands, embarrassed as Edric gave her a grin.

“Guess we gotta compete for second place, huh?” Edric teased.

“You and I both know you and Jerbo couldn’t ask the other on a date to save your sanities.”

“I never said it was Jerbo!” Edric squawked.

The sisters shared a knowing look but didn’t say anything.

“Anyway, I’m tired. I had a long day,” Amity said, walking by her siblings. “I’m gonna head to bed.”

“Try not to get lost dreaming about that heart-stealer of yours!” Emira called after her.

“Don’t make me come back out there!” Amity’s voice warned from around the corner.

“Whatever you say, Mittens!”

,

Amity wasn’t used to late-night shifts.

Coming to the apartment early in the morning was a pain. Her mask was pushed up on her head as she walked into the apartment on quiet feet, ready to collapse and sleep all day.

Edric was in the kitchen.

He was never up this early.

His elbows were leaning on the kitchen counter, and he was covering his face with one hand, his other clenched into a fist on the counter.

Amity blinked and took off her mask, setting it on the coat hanger and slowly walking over, worry evident on her face.

“Ed?” She asked quietly.

Edric jolted and jerked his head up, expression flashing to that of momentary fear.

He was crying.

“Mi-Mittens!” Edirc gasped, quickly wiping at his eyes. “I-I didn’t hear you come...come in,”

“Edric?” Amity rushed over around the counter, gently grabbing her older brother's arm. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” He said, giving her a sorrowfully forced smile. “Was, er, cutting some tear-peppers earlier and it hasn’t gone away yet.”

Amity sighed and looked up at her brother.

“Ed, that’s the worst lie I’ve ever heard.” She said bluntly. “What happened?” She asked again, her voice softer.

“You shouldn’t have to worry about it,” Edric insisted. “It’s my job to look after you, remember?”

“You're my brother, not my dad, thank Titan.” Amity muttered. “I’m not thirteen, Ed.” She continued. “You can tell me,”

Edric gazed down at his little sister for a moment. He swallowed before sighing and letting his shoulders slump.

“Just a little stressed,” He admitted, turning away to stare at the empty counter. “You know, what with trying to actually make a living without mom or dad's help.” He sighed.

“And then there’s the whole rebellion thing me and Em are working on. And that stupid tennant I hate. And trying to find a decent part of the Illusion Coven to join, since we definitely want to stick to that.” He continued.

“And…” He glanced down at Amity. “Well, let’s just say that fear of loneliness isn’t looking too irrational right now,” He said, sounding like he was seconds away from breaking down, hands shaking.

“Hey, that’s not true,” Amity said, squeezing Edric’s arm. “Me and Em aren’t gonna leave you.”

“Amity, you’re in the Emperor’s Coven. You're a spy. You're part of something big.” Edric shook his head. “You’ve got a lot ahead of you.”

“And Em…” He looked away. “Em’s got something going for her. You don’t become mom's favorite by being mediocre.”

“Who cares what mom thinks?” Amity demanded. “She isn’t worth either of our times. Last I checked, she was just as mean on Emira after you flunked the Emperor’s Coven tryouts as she was with you.”

“...she said a lot of things you didn’t hear,” Edric said quietly. “I’m grateful you were at the Owl House.” He murmured. “You deserve a place like that.”

Amity stared up at her brother, a sinking feeling in her stomach.

Just how long, she wondered, had Edric been hiding these things from her? From Em?

She leaned against his side, burying her head in the crook of his arm.

“You deserve it, too.” She said softly. “You were able to stand up to mom, you made your own choices and even let me live with you…I couldn’t do those on my own.” She shut her eyes.

“You never gave up, even after all that. That’s what I always liked about you, y’know?”

She felt Edric stiffen and shutter, trying to hold back cries as tears freely fell down his face. He drew an arm around his little sister, pulling her close and pressing his nose into her hair.

They stayed like that for a while. Holding each other in silent reassurances.

,

It was late in the afternoon, sunset fast approaching.

The three siblings were all at different places in the apartment, for once, having a moment of peace among them.

That was, until, the power cut out.

Amity raised her head from where she was reading on the couch. Edric paused making his sandwich and Emira poked her head out of her room.

None of them said a word for a few moments.

“Did you two seriously forget to pay the power bill?” Amity broke the silence.

“I swore I paid it!” Edric insisted. “They didn’t give a notice or anything!”

“You just keep forgetting to close the mailbox, you great idiot!” Emira growled, walking into the main room. “Maybe they just got lost or something.”

Amity got off the couch and opened the apartment door, peering out. 

There were no lights in the hallways, and she could see a few other tenants looking out in confusion as well.

“Nope, it’s a complex issue.” Amity said, looking back. “Whole place lost power.”

“Fantastic,” Emira grumbled. “In the beginning of winter!”

“At least there isn’t any snow yet,” Amity shrugged.

“We’re going to freeze to death in like half an hour.” Edric sighed, stepping out from behind the counter.

“I’m sure I could find some blankets,” Emira insisted.

“You guys know we could just like...go to the Owl House?” Amity raised a brow.

Both her siblings turned to stare at her, blinking dumbfoundedly.

“...right, you guys don’t go there as often.” Amity mumbled quietly. “Look, how about we just head on over? Eda will understand. This should only last for a day or so, anyway.”

“So long I’m not freezing, I’ll take it.” Edric said, already grabbing his coat.

“Isn’t it a bit late?” Emira worried.

“Someone in that house is always awake, no matter the hour.” Amity assured her. “They won’t mind.”

“Yeah, because you have special girlfriend status,” Edric teased.

“Jealous,” Amity shot back, a blush coming to her cheeks as she held the door open for her siblings. “The Owl House has its own power, anyway. So it should be fine.”

“And if not, you get to snuggle up to Luz,” Emira taunted.

“I’m going to let Fang bite both of you,” Amity threatened, walking out after her siblings and through the dark hallways of the apartment complex.

“Ha! Jokes on you, he already bit me.” Edric said proudly. “I’m immune.”

“That’s not how that works.” ,

“Hi, Amity!” Hooty greeted, well before the Blight siblings were at the front porch.

“Can it, Hooty.” Amity said with a sneer. “Tell Eda we’re here,”

“Oh, she already knows.” Hooty said cheerfully. “Luz saw you through the--”

The door was suddenly swung open, and Hooty’s face smashed against the side of the house, much to his complaints.

Eda stood there, looking over the two young-adults and teenager with a confused, but not unwelcome expression.

“Didja get kicked out of your apartment?” She inquired, flicking an ear.

“Power went out,” Emira explained. “Amity said you’d let us stay while it gets fixed?”

“What did I say about making decisions for me?” Eda scolded the girl. “I keep getting Luz’s friends showing up because you insist that I’ll let them in.”

“And yet, you never disappoint,” Amity said with a grin. “May we come in?”

Eda muttered under her breath about kids these days before stepping aside, allowing the three to wander on in.

“Amity,” Lilith greeted from where she was having a cup of tea on the couch. Amity swore that woman was addicted to the stuff.

“Amity!” Luz said at the same time, much more enthused as she rushed from the window and enveloped the witch in a hug. “What’s with the party?” She asked.

“Power problems,” Emira explained for her flustered sister. “We’re just gonna hang here for a bit. Don’t let us invade your mushy time,” She teased, stepping around them and looking at the house.

“Aw, come on!” King complained, crawling out from underneath the table in front of the couch. “Now I’ll never get sleep with a bunch of teenagers around.”

“Excuse you, we’re nineteen! Legal adults,” Edric corrected.

“Same difference,”

Lilith rolled her eyes and offered tea to the twins. Emira accepted it while Edric hung up their coats, watching as both his sisters seamlessly fit right into the discussions of the Owl family, despite their sudden intrusion.

He smiled to himself, slowly looking around the Owl House.

Yeah, they’d picked a good family.

,

It was late.

Amity hadn’t made it home.

Emira had called the Owl House to see if Amity was there. They said she’d left two hours earlier, and were surprised to hear she hadn’t made it back to the apartment yet.

They said Amity had left after getting a call from their mother.

It was nearly midnight.

Edric was beside himself with worry, pacing the living room.

They’d even called up Keene, the second-in-command of Amity’s Emperor’s Coven group. She had given his number to them for strict emergencies.

He hadn’t seen her either.

“I’m going to go look for her,” Edric said, breaking Emira out of her train of thought and storming towards the door. “Something must have happened with mom and dad.”

“I’ll wait for her here,” Emira nodded. “I’ll call you if she--”

Right as Edric was about to open the apartment door, it swung open very aggressively.

“Amity!” The twins exclaimed.

The seventeen-year-old stood hunched in the doorway, head hanging and bangs covering her eyes. She was shaking, violently. She was still in her Emperor’s Coven outfit, as she had visited the Owl House first and didn’t have a spare change of clothes.

“Where have you been?” Edric asked worriedly, crouching down. She was always shorter than them. “We were worried sick!”

“Did something happen?” Emira added, getting off the couch. “Mittens?”

The girl raised her head, and the twins gave a sharp intake of breath.

Amity’s face was stained with tears, her eyes red and swollen. She had a dark, angry purple bruise on her left cheek, and was rubbing at her left wrist.

“What happened?” Emira demanded, shutting the door as Edric pulled Amity into the apartment.

“I-I,” Amity stuttered, fresh tears already beginning to leak from her eyes as her siblings gently led her to the couch and sat on either side of her.

“I didn’t mean to,” Amity sniffled, shoulders trembling. “I didn’t mean to say it, I didn’t, I--”

“Hey, hey, shh,” Edric comforted, holding her hands to stop her messing with her wrist. “Just tell us what happened, Amity.”

Amity took in sharp, shaky breaths for a few moments, trying to calm herself down.

“M-mom wanted me to c-come home,” She explained, though the twins already knew. “She...she told me it was because I left something there. I-I went over and...and,”

She bit her lip, holding back a cry as Emira gently placed a hand on her back.

“She got mad,” Amity said, her voice rattly. “She...she said she talked to Keene and-and he said I wasn’t spending as much t-time at the Coven as I said...he...he didn’t know--”

“Hey, we know, we know,” Emira said softly. “What else?”

“Sh-she demanded to know where I-I’d been,” Amity sniffled, holding herself. “I did...didn’t want to tell her, so I,” She inhaled. “I got mad...I got mad, I told her it wasn’t...wasn’t her business…I didn’t even really li-live with her…”

The twins fearfully glanced at each other. Nobody talked back to their mother. Not unless they wanted a death sentence.

Edric raised his hand and Amity flinched, and he felt a stab of pain in his chest.

He slowly, and genty, brushed his hand by her shoulder, right below where her bruise was.

“It...it didn’t go well,” Amity murmured, pulling off her gloves and revealing she had a bruise around her left wrist, looking like she had been sharply grabbed.

“Did mom do this?” Emira demanded quietly, gesturing to the nasty mark on her face.

Amity didn’t answer.

“She said sorry right after,” Amity mumbled, almost inaudible.

The twins stared, horror striking them to the core. Edric wrapped his arm around Amity’s shoulders, pulling her closer. She let him, sniffling.

“...you’re not going back there.” Emira decided. “I don’t care how many laws we break. You won’t.”

“I already told them,” Amity murmured, glancing over at her. “I...I said I was a member of the Emperor’s Coven and they, they couldn’t tell me what to do anymore…”

She lifted her unhurt hand to her cloak and withdrew Fang, her palisman, who was curled around her fingers and looked up at the twins.

“Eda showed me a re-recording spell before I left. They know I can use it if, if they try to get me back.”

Neither of the twins wanted to know what that snake had seen.

“Good, because you were never going to go back there to begin with.” Edric said firmly. “Well, no, no, not good, that’s probably not--”

Emira punched his arm and he winced, but obediently went quiet.

“What if she finds out I live here?” Amity asked quietly, curling closer into Ed’s shoulder. “She-she’ll try to do something. What if she cuts you off?”

“We don’t want anything to do with her anymore, I assure you.” Emira growled.

“You-you need the money,” Amity sniffled. “I know you do.”

“We can start making our own--” “Please,” Amity turned her head, giving her sister a scared look. “Please don’t cut off mom. She’ll do something worse.” She said, voice going quieter. “Not yet. You need it now. I’ll be okay.”

Emira wanted to argue, she really did.

But she couldn’t.

Getting jobs in this time of the Boiling Isles, and in this region, was tough. Especially for illusionists. They’d made a bit of money here and there, but a lot of their support came from their mother and father, who grudgingly handed it out so to make their children at least look like they were surviving on their own, for the public.

And it wasn’t like any of them could go to the coven just yet. In a real court battle, they knew their parents would win. They always would.

It was their public image that worried them. And for now, the Blight children had the upper hand.

They’d have to let the spider come to them. As horrifying as the thought of waiting sounded.

“Alright,” Edric related, drawing circles on her arm. “But you aren’t going anywhere near them. Not ever again. Do you understand?”

Amity didn’t respond. She just pulled herself closer to Edric, shuttering with the strain to hold back sobs.

Edric pulled her into a real hug, and Emira wasn’t far behind. They both murmured words of comfort as Amity muffled her cries in Edric’s shoulder, tense with the effort.

If this was what the Blight name meant, they didn’t want it.

[purplesurveys]

1288

TOP 30 ASKREDDIT QUESTIONS OF ALL TIME

bonesofivory

1. What are some must-have Google Chrome extensions? If you don’t use Chrome, how about on other internet browsers? Eh, not too big on extensions because I very easily forget about them. The few ones I *super* rely on are Momentum, Adblock, and Dark Mode.

2. What free stuff on the internet must everyone be taking advantage of? Wikipedia! I could spend hours on there reading up on whatever topic it is I find interesting for the day. Little Alchemy is also this little fun but extremely addicting game that I enjoy going back to for when I’m bored. 3. What piece of stand up comedy (10 minutes or less) has successfully made you cry with laughter? The only comedian who has been able to do this so far is Sindhu Vee, specifically her standup on disciplining her kids. It was meant to narrate the Indian way of raising kids, but everything she said was honestly so reletable for Asian culture in general so it gave me so many laughs.

4. What’s the coolest thing someone could buy for under $25? Diamond art kits!

5. What little “Easter Eggs” on websites do you love? If you don’t have one on a website, how about in a game, TV show, or movie? Easter eggs are fun to spot in general, but the first that came to mind was the amount of shoutouts of past Black Mirror episodes in Bandersnatch. I’m also reminded of the time my cousins and I explored too much in GTA as kids until we reached this obscure little corner that literally read “You’re not supposed to be able to get here” or something to that effect.

6. Besides pornography, what is a website you frequent and don’t want anyone to know?

Probably Tumblr? My life would pretty much be ruined if someone I knew read what I wrote on here. < This is good. And I guess some of the fanfics I read?

7. What is something you think everyone should have installed on their computer? Adblock.

8. What ‘fan theories’ have blown your mind with their devastating logic? I don’t really read too much into fan theory, just because I want to keep the director’s work as is. 

9. Which websites do you usually visit when you are bored of Reddit? I stopped regularly visiting Reddit at the start of the year, actually. But as for websites I frequent...it would have to be just my main social media. Occasionally I’ll hop back on Reddit, but only on the Today I Learned and BTS subreddits.

10. What GIF reduces you to hysterical laughter every time?

11. What things that are legal you think shouldn’t be? Unpaid internships or overtimes. I’m fortunate to be in a company that pays me for all my OT hours, but I hear so many frustrating stories from people I know who have their OTs completely unpaid for.

12. What’s the most fucked up way you got back at someone who wronged you? I never resorted to any below-the-belt revenge...or even just revenge in general, other than moving on and being happy.

13. Would you support marijuana legalization if it were taxed and distributed in a way similar to alcohol? I don’t know enough about this discourse to have an educated opinion. Marijuana is super taboo here.

14. What are the best websites for NOT wasting your time? Like I said, Wikipedia. Learning a lil something new everyday is never a waste of time.

15. What is the closest you have ever been to a major historical event? Other than stating the obvious pandemic, probably the time Ferdinand Marcos’ body was announced to be transferred to the Heroes’ Cemetery which caused a huge uproar, especially from the youth. Everybody was pissed and wanted to take it to the streets, which we did.

16. What’s the most intellectual joke you know? Eh, I’m blanking out rn.

17. What is a skill someone can learn in 6 months that will impress employers on a resume? I dunno. Maybe Photoshop or video editing skills? These are the top skills being looked for, at least in my field; and they’re always understood as good bonuses to have even if the job at hand doesn’t necessarily call for photo/video editing.

18. What are some meals that are simple to make, but easy to impress people with? I wouldn’t be the best judge at this considering I don’t even cook, but the first thing that came to mind was Eggs Benedict? I’m guessing? Hahaha it’s just an uber fancified egg dish. But feel free to correct me if I’m wrong!!!

19. What bizarre celebrity encounters have you had? Greyson Chance walked past me at a mall that literally no foreign celebrity would ever have a reason to visit.

20. What is your favorite picture on the whole internet? Idk, any OT7 photo would make the cut for me for this one.

21. How have you made a rude person’s day worse? By driving excruciatingly slowly in front of them.

22. What is a “dirty little (or big) secret” about an industry that you have worked in, that people outside the industry really should know? I can’t really think of anything too bad for PR. I’d say “it’s not all glitz and glamour” but I think that’s how it works for any other field anyway.

23. What is the most outlandish (hilarious, surprising) thing you have ever seen go down in public? Seeing Zorro in campus.

24. What is the best horror story you can come up with in two sentences? I’ll leave it to the actual Reddit post for the best possible entries for this haha.

25. If you met someone who has never heard music before (born deaf or what have you), what music would you introduce to them first? Probably acoustic songs, as they sound very raw.

26. What’s a little-known site you think everyone should know about? Eh, I don’t really go down a rabbit hole when it comes to discovering websites.

27. Assume all of world history is a movie. What are the biggest plot holes? This is such a good question that I have absolutely have no answer to, but I checked out the actual thread and this is a good one I saw haha:

“So let me get this straight... These American guys acquire this super-weapon that ultimately ended a massive war in a previous season... but this 'super-weapon' is never used again in all the later wars they get into?”

28. What photo leaves you speechless? The vulture and the little girl, or that photo of Regina Kay Walters before she was killed.

29. What is a MUST SEE movie that is highly overlooked and is on Netflix? If you don’t have a Netflix, just say in general. Portrait of a Woman on Fire.

30. What quote gives you chills every time you hear or read it? I don’t really have any.

[gottawriteanegoortwo]

Darkstache - Seeing the Truth

A follow-on from the prompt where Wilford discovered Dark was colourblind. He’s determined to help Dark experience the beauty that is colour.

Word Count: 1,565

-

If there was one thing every single ego working in the studio could agree on, it was that Wilford was not the smartest of the bunch. He struggled with reading, had difficulties keeping track of time, had an unreliable memory on bad days, among other things. Which was why there was surprise when it was discovered Wiford was undertaking heavy research. Sitting at the desk in his dressing-room-studio, the reporter was immersed in work on his laptop. There was a notebook beside him where he attempted to write legible notes. Several drinking glasses had been conjured and emptied so he could work without the distraction of moving. Another notebook was open and drying on the radiator after some water spilled on it.

But if anyone walked in with the intention to see what he was doing, they were blocked by an invisible bubble. To Dark’s frustration, it included him.

“You know you can’t work on anything without telling me about it. As the company’s lawyer, I need to make sure what you’re doing keeps you out of legal trouble.” Dark folded his arms with an irritated expression. In response, Wilford pulled himself onto his feet, sauntered across the room, and slipped through the bubble barrier to take Dark’s hands in his own.

“Yeah, buuut Google told me that’s only if I’m workin’ on somethin’ fer th’ studio. This is a personal project that I want perfect before I tell anyone!” A seemingly simple answer had alarm bells ringing in Dark’s mind. Wilford always put his brainstorming on display for others. Why was he being so secretive? He tried to pull his hands away, but the reporter’s grip was too tight. “Ya gotta trust me, sugarplum. I’ve been workin’ hard like a little bee in here. Just gimme a little longer an’ I’ll show ya everythin’.”

“Will this be before or after you cause whatever trouble you’re planning?”

“Who said anythin’ ‘bout causin’ trouble?” Wilford was hurt by that, though he was quick to shake it off. “When it’s ready, yer th’ first person I wanna show. Promise.” He kissed Dark on the cheek and added, “Yer still free after work, right?”

--

When the other egos and regular staff had called it a day, Dark returned to Wilford’s empty office. To his surprise, the barrier bubble was gone, but the desk space had been cleared. There was no evidence he could see that might tell him what Wilford was up to. Wilford had actually remembered to shut down the laptop for once. This was certainly an unusual setting for the reporter who was terrible with technology. There had to be a clue somewhere that he wasn’t seeing!

“Babe!” Wilford’s voice made Dark jump. He spun around to notice Wilford had changed clothes to wear a faint blue (maybe) shirt, black trousers and white suspenders (he could tell those colours easily). “Thought I’d catch ya before ya left yer office. Ya ready ta go?” Dark nodded, crossing the room to take Wilford’s free hand.

“A basket?”

“Well, yeah! Can’t have ya gettin’ cold on me, eh? We got a great evenin’ planned an’ I want ya ta be cosy!”

--

The car pulled up at their normal viewing spot outside the city. Dark tried to weasel information out of Wilford, but the reporter was unusually tight-lipped. All he could learn was that the pair were sky-gazing. As much as Dark liked spending time with Wilford, he couldn’t help but feel Wilford forgot that Dark couldn’t enjoy seeing the day sky in the same way. Surely he wouldn’t need to ruin the night by having this conversation a second time, right? Stuck with indecision on what to do, Dark didn’t notice how Wilford sat on the picnic blanket and began pulling things out of the basket at first. A little vase of flowers, a notebook, some juggling balls, a small balloon, a black case… 

“Wilford… What are you doing with all this stuff?” Before Dark could sit, Wilford quickly scrambled back onto his feet.

“No, no! Not yet. Tonight’s a special night. Gonna be one of th’ prettiest views an’ I don’t wantcha missin’ it ‘cause yer askin’ why I have so many things with me.” Wilford wagged a finger playfully at Dark. A graceful bend allowed him to scoop up the black case and hand it to Dark. “A present fer my beautiful shadow.” Dark accepted the case, clicked it open, and frowned.

“... Sunglasses. At 8pm?”

“Well, yeah! There’s gonna be some big bright flashy thing of some sort tonight. Bing was ravin’ ‘bout it. I’m surprised ya didn’t hear ‘bout it!” Wilford had whipped out a pair of sunglasses and rested them in his messy curls. “Go on! Try ‘em on. Betcha look real handsome with ‘em~”

Something wasn’t right, but Dark couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Wilford was acting peculiar, like he was trying to distract the entity from something. Google never mentioned anything about events taking place in the sky. With all the random objects scattered at his feet, it could be Wilford’s way to pull attention away from some crime he had committed while out. That’s why he changed clothes, it had to be! Even with those worries in his head, Wilford looked genuinely excited. Dark never wore sunglasses, but maybe he could humour Wilford and play along. 

The glasses were put on.

The world exploded in a way he never could have predicted.

What was originally a murky mesh of blue, yellow, and grey had now become so much more. Everything was brighter, vivid, alive! He quickly lifted the glasses to see the world as he was used to, then dropped the glasses back down to see this new world. It was the glasses. The glasses were somehow letting him see colour in a way he never could have imagined and couldn’t possibly explain. The colours seemed to shift a little the longer he wore them, possibly as his eyes adjusted to it, allowing him to see so much more. A hand covered his mouth as emotions welled up inside him. Never did he think he would ever see something like this in his entire life.

“Ya doin’ okay?” Wilford’s hand gently squeezed his shoulder. Dark nodded.

“I… I’ve never seen colour like this before. It’s beautiful… I thought you brought me here because you forgot.”

“Nah. I wrote it down when ya told me. This is what I’ve been workin’ on all week that no one knew ‘bout. I wanted ta help ya see colour. These glasses were th’ best way ta do that. Bet it must be weird fer ya.” 

“I never would have guessed how many types of green there are. It all looked the same, but the leaves on the trees and the grass all look so different…” He turned to face Wilford, only to trail off as he took in the sight of his boyfriend in full colour for the first time. He was wearing a purple shirt, not a blue one! Wilford could see the emotion in Dark’s eyes through the tinted lenses as the entity’s hand reached up to Wilford’s face. “... Is that pink? Your moustache… It’s brighter than I could have imagined.” Tears finally slipped underneath the glasses as he laughed. “It’s perfect for you. I can’t stop smiling as I look at it. Oh! I never even realised it was in your hair either! I thought your hair was all one shade!” Fingers looped strands of pink locks to examine them better. “I knew I was right to think of you when I tried to imagine what ‘pink’ looked like.”

“Ya can admire me an’ my pretty pink all ya like later…. But turn ‘round again. I think y’ll like what yer ‘bout ta see.” Wilford kissed Dark on the nose before encouraging the entity to spin back the way he was originally facing.

There, in all its majestic glory behind them, was a sunset. With the distraction of the glasses, enough time had passed for the sun to dip low enough below the horizon. Dark slipped an arm around Wilford’s waist and held on tightly as he took in every inch of the evening sky.

“I knew it was yellow, I knew it was blue, but all the colours in between… No wonder you were always so excited to look at sunsets. I could stare at this all night if I could. I’m seeing colours I never knew existed before. It’s perfect.”

“I thought y’d say that. I try ta keep a diary ta help me remember things so I thought, ‘why not do th’ same fer you’?” A spiral-bound notebook was passed to Dark, open on a page that had coloured squares labelled. “I made ya a little chart so y’d know what colours are what.” A simple gesture had the emotions bubbling over all over again as Dark hugged Wilford tight.

The pair would sit in silence and enjoy the full beauty of the sunset. Wrapped in a purple and white blanket, Dark was given all the time to process what he was seeing. Later, the pair would use the notebook to show Wilford what Dark could now see in the random assortment of items that dotted the blanket as they undertook a masterclass of colour.. But for the moment, seeing the beauty of a colourful world took priority.

---

Note: For those who might be curious, I highly recommend checking out EnChroma, who do indeed make glasses to help those who are colourblind. There are plenty of video reactions to people wearing them for the first time if ever you need to rediscover your appreciation of colour.