#eh- I'll think of one later

[mizaruwu]

Shall we dance?

---

There's two more drawings of Legend with Hilda and Fable with Ravio, but I'm not happy with the poses so I'll reblog this post with those two when I find the will to fix 'em. I'll also make omakes of the gala, lil doodles of the event asdgfhjk

here's their outfit showcase 1 and 2

[aroaceleovaldez]

I was reading a post about CoTG and I realized: Rick has seemingly started to write every character pairing with the exact same dynamic, and he's not good at writing that dynamic and it doesn't make sense for 90% of the characters he writes it for.

It's that very specific dynamic of one half of the pair who is almost aggressive to the other party - "teasing" them constantly/insulting them, affectionately punching/judo flipping/maiming/etc, seemingly almost always exasperated with the other - and said other party usually just accepts this treatment or blanketly views it fondly, and may generally be framed as more incompetent than their partner and a little bit of a doormat (particularly relating to being insulted/teased/etc by their partner).

We start seeing this dynamic in HoO with Percy and Annabeth, as a sort of semi-inconsistent twist on their rivals-to-friends-to-lovers dynamic from the first series. Then the dynamic pattern develops further with Leo and Calypso. Then Magnus and Alex. Then Nico and Will, particularly in TSATS. And now in CoTG, it's Percy and Annabeth again but even more in this direction.

I know people have talked about Nico and Will's relationship over the series rapidly being shoehorned into Percabeth Two™, and it's extremely apparent in TSATS that Rick's doing it on purpose (including directly quoting Percabeth scenes but minorly tweaking them to be Solangelo). But recognizing it as an overarching trend in Rick's later books honestly reminds me a lot of how Rick started trying to apply the "Percy Formula" so-to-speak to nearly every protagonist in HoO (and then try to replicate similar character archetypes with Magnus and Apollo's narrations - moreso Magnus in being jaded and sarcastic, very much trying to be first series Percy. He only sounds unique because Rick failed at making him Percy 2. Apollo is more akin to later-series Percy characterization of being goofy and incompetent. Apollo [and Zeus] even got retconned to give Apollo a more similar backstory to Percy's). Rick seems to have decided that he thinks the audience wants this specific dynamic but 10 times over, except he's not good at writing it the first time because it's a bastardization of the time he did a different thing okay.

And Rick also seems aware of that too! Because he retconned Calypso and Leo at the end of TOA, probably because he realized how absolutely awful it was reading when they were written with that dynamic of Calypso just functionally hating Leo and constantly being aggressive towards him! The only time Rick's actually made the dynamic even semi-successful was with Magnus and Alex, because it actually fits within their characters, their dynamics with each other, and their environment. Alex beheading Magnus on the regular works out fine because there are no repercussions to that in Valhalla, Magnus will be fine, so it does genuinely come off as humorous. And Alex has been effectively established to be abrasive at times but have her genuine feelings shine through regularly, and that meshes well with Magnus' jaded-and-aloof-but-quietly-very-empathetic character. And Magnus has been established to, yes, not be great at combat, particularly compared to Alex. They are the only time that flavor of dynamic in that form was effective and cohesive.

Percabeth is no longer rivals-to-friends-to-lovers badasses on equal levels with shaky pasts who finally found some form of permanence with one another. Now it's super smart doting and affectionately aggressive girlfriend and her silly goofy 50%-of-the-time incompetent boyfriend who she judo flips/pushes off cliffs/etc - but affectionately~! Solangelo is trying to riff off of the early series "Poseidon & Athena are enemies" dynamic that Percabeth had but with Apollo & Hades being "opposites" but learning to accept each other, except it ends up with Will just coming off as a huge asshole and Nico being retconned to a complete doormat about it - when prior to that those characterizations would be completely contrary to their established characters (even just from TOA!). Calypso in HoO gets retconned from her PJO characterization to being snooty and aggressive, and Leo's false persona gets merged into his just normal personality except he just also becomes a doormat but more goofy than Nico with occasional haha-dark/depression-humor! Which Nico also got. Which was also a bastardized Percy trait that got redistributed.

It's exhausting. Rick write more than one relationship dynamic you can do it I promise

[crystallizsch]

the character inspo posts had me thinking about yuuna during twst and pre-twst (in their original world specifically) so uh here's a comparison:

[illegiblehandwriting1]

been thinking about the adult timeline, oot zelda went from being this pampered 9- or 10-year-old crown princess with servants and maids and a full royal guard and a giant house and so much food and clothing and safety and anything she could ever want, and suddenly this whole-ass child wakes up one night from a prophetic dream, her father doesn't listen, and suddenly she goes from having everything to nothing, her father's probably dead, the castle is no longer home, her one hope disappears, she and her one bodyguard hide away with the threat of being discovered around every corner, and everything has turned into her worst nightmare overnight.

And now she has to scrounge and steal and barter for food instead of having it handed to her, she has to dress herself with whatever they have on hand instead of having a maid do it, she has to sleep on rocks and in grass with nothing but her bodyguard's arms around her in some semblance of safety. She looks at everyone else doing the same and knows that it's her fault. She looks at impa trying to keep her safe, suddenly forcing her into Sheikah training for days on end and making her work herself to the bone for the first time since she was born, and she complains because she's a royal kid, but she knows that impa's training is going to keep her alive in this new hell she's created for herself.

She becomes Sheik, becomes him wholly and completely because he is quick and silent and smarter than she could ever be, and he won't make stupid mistakes and get his subjects killed because of it, and he is tough and unimportant and dedicated and, incredibly, more comfortable than Zelda ever had been. Sheik can stay alive and fight from the shadows and train for hours on end without dropping from exhaustion. He can survive and fix childish mistakes and help his subjects, though they will never know it's him. and then impa has to leave him for one of her many, many reconnaissance trips, but for once, neither of them are scared to leave the other because he won't get himself killed at the first sign of trouble. And she doesn't come back, but he doesn't fret, because she can take care of herself and he can trust her.

And he still worries, just a little bit.

And then he's seventeen, and it's been so long, but he scouts out castletown one more time, hiding from all of Ganon's eyes like second nature, when a flash of light catches his eye from the Temple of Time. So he sneaks over to the stained-glass window that looked down upon the Master Sword. But the Master Sword isn't in its pedestal: it's being held by a gangly teenager with a green tunic, a fairy, and a blue ocarina at his belt.

And maybe Sheik realizes he finally has a real chance to fix his mistake.

ANYway I'm just saying that child timeline Sheik probably had an easier learning curve for his ninja-assassin training

[seventh-district]

7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos

[thisbarbieisan80srockstar]

Happy birthday Tommy!!

[variablejabberwocky]

one of the interesting things about falling into the Phandom backasswards is how the fics (and headcanons and crossovers) make me feel both really fucking smart and really fucking dumb

like, things i've figured out:

the 'hazmat' part of 'hazmat suit' is short for hazardous materials. yeah i don't know why i never figured that out earlier either

'lex' as in lex fucking luthor is short for 'alex' as in 'alexander'. which i didn't figure out until i asked myself "huh, i wonder if lex is short for something else?" and then suddenly my brain was like "ah yes you have framed it as a jeopardy question and now you may know the answer"

there is more than one robin, and their characterizations are a lot more consistent than i'd gotten the impression of. yes, i was under the impression there was only ONE robin and his characterization was all over the place and not, ya'know, four separate people with DIFFERENT NAMES and backstories and specialties.

there are SO MANY MORE BATKIDS, goddamn, all the batkids. brucie you have PROBLEMS. get therapy, not more adoption papers.

people i thought were millionaires might actually be billionaires instead

some of the ghosts are actually based on like...real ghostly/supernatural creatures. like realworld lore not just in-universe lore. yeah i'm the moron that didn't realize ember's a freaking siren, or danny is pretty much a banshee and not just has some similar abilities

just how many goddamn 1980s ghostbuster references there are (~mooooood ~ ~juuuuuuuice~)

i just about had a goddamn heart attack the first time i saw the term "ectobiology" and realized i wasn't reading a homestuck fic

no one is quite sure what counts as a 'meta' or not. as in 'metahuman'. it feels an awful lot like the difference between scientific classification and legal classification. which, ya'know, fair. still confusing as shit

[fionarara]

still randomly remembering that one time i attended the creator of Minecraft's annual house party even though i've never even played that video game lmao and after getting to watch Skrillex dj in such an intimate setting (surreal), we all hung out and he had like a harem of cute girls surrounding him on the couch, haha it seemed super platonic though and he was really respectful,,, literally he was so kind to me and everyone,, by far the nicest celeb i've ever met besides elijah wood.

[shiroselia]

Started Black Eagles now as my second playthrough, I know WAY less about both Black Eagles + Golden Deer, so I'm a lot more blind on their characters and how they're handled outside of the basic obvious

So far. I don't really know.

I'mma be real though there is a Very heavy "Omg look aren't they So Weird and Quirky" to a lot of the full early group scenes and it's. fine? But they're also not any weirder or quirkier than any other houses. Really. So it just feels a bit weirdly lampshaded and also. kinda overblown.

I really liked Dorothea and Edelgard's C-support, and I think I'm gonna really like Edelgard, she's well-written and that's just point blank.

I've recruited Mercedes because I want her supports with Jeritza, I have recruited Marianne because that's just a thing I'm always gonna do ig, and also I saw a snippet of her Ferdinand support and now I Cannot Not get it I'm so excited for that one. I'm gonna recruit Lysithea because I want her supports with Edelgard, but I couldn't New Game Purchase her A support so eh. normal recruitment moment.

But I'm interested in seeing how these guys play out.

Mildly unrelated character rant that delves into an Edelgard rant: (Hello, I treat fictional characters like chess pieces, I like all of them, don't worry about it.) Edelgard as a character makes my literary analysis brain go haywire so eh. Have this.

Every single character in Three Houses thinks THEY are right and that's why the story is interesting, and Edelgard especially I think proves this. Also I love how you can see a certain level of self-awareness in her already because Edelgard, as proven by her convo with Dimitri at the end of Azure Moon, she considers herself a necessary sacrifice (sidenote: Her going all Omg you think I'm Strong teehee at Dimitri in that convo will never not be funny it was SO funny, AND also one of the most important lines in the entire game that says SO MUCH ABOUT HER VIEW OF HERSELF??? Shit Self-Esteem Von Hresvelg is THAT YOU-), she doesn't consider herself one of the strong ones, she's doing this because Somebody Has To, and she realises not everybody will agree with her, and I just find it awfully interesting.

Mostly because I also interpret Edel as a LOT less in control than she thinks she is and Wants to think that she is and I might go off about this later but tldr that scene where she drops the dagger and seems legitimately surprised at Monica not being Monica to me is one of the most important things about Edelgard's entire situation, like, she has had those who slither surrounding her her entire life they're definitely diverting the blame a Little, and yes if you ask me, I think Edelgard's also a bit scared of admitting that she might've been wrong because that would mean admitting that she was had and if she admits that she was had, everything that she has put on the line for her life having any meaning left by now would. you know. crumble. ANYWAYS more about that once I have seen more of Edel's own views of herself but from Azure Moon alone this is such an easy reading of her to me.

(Tldr I think there's a reason why Edel and also I think Byleth's Crimson Flower ending is all about "Okay fuck now we gotta deal with those who slither fucking hell-")

[saph-writes]

may or may not have finished a chapter of a fic for the first time in over half a year 👀

[ofglories]

For Caster Arthur's timeline, it could almost be considered a Lostbelt with the differences going back to the very forging of Excalibur.

But, thankfully, it is not.

It's just another timeline, another possible world.

And in this timeline, instead of being forged as a Holy Sword, Excalibur was made into a staff. A staff that Arthur, eventually would find and wield while serving Bedivere, the heir to Camelot's throne (by way of Uther selecting him).

[eyivibyemi]

✧ I won’t really write descriptions for these, but see original post tags for explanation/commentary on the song snippet ✧

[happy74827]

One Call Away

[Wade Wilson x Female!Reader]

Synopsis: During one of his "jobs," Deadpool gets a call from his favorite gal [GIF Creds: jdsheart]

WC: 1970

Category: Fluff, Major Comedy {TW: Deadpool’s Humor/Nonfiltered Personality}

This man is so hard to write. I’m always stressing the noggin when it comes to planning and plotting 😔

『••✎••』

"And away we go..."

One neck crack and a couple of hip twists later, he was off like Aladdin and his fucktoy carpet, scaling the building similarly to a chameleon on LSD.

The only thing that was missing was some epic music.

He'd been chasing this baddie around the city for almost two days now. Some big-shot mob boss with ties to Hydra, or the Mafia, or the Yakuza, or some other three-letter-acronym organization. It was hard to keep track of them all at this point. They were all the same, except for the name.

They all had their own agenda.

Kill him, keep him prisoner, pay him off...

Wade never cared enough to listen because it was always the same. He just got hired to do the dirty work, and the pay was good.

The killing was better.

This one, however, was particularly good at eluding him. He'd been trying to get his hands on this man for a few days now. It wasn't as though he was trying to be stealthy or anything, either. He'd walked right up to his front door, knocked, and was greeted with a spray of machine gun bullets.

So, the usual.

But then the guy ran and didn't stop. It was like the fucking Roadrunner met Sonic the Hedgehog, and they decided to fuck around and find out.

Wade was getting real sick and tired of being a Roadrunner, too. He had a reputation to uphold. He wasn't known as the Merc with the Mouth for nothing. He was supposed to be the one doing the running and the killing.

Not the other way around.

Finally, finally, he managed to reach the roof where the guy was currently taking cover behind a small brick shack. The sun was rising, but it was still dark, and there were a couple of floodlights shining on the rooftop. It made him think of the night he'd had that heart-to-heart with Blind Al, even though all she really wanted was for him to bring her some of that special brownie mix.

What a night that had been.

But anyway, this monologue is starting to get too long, and we should probably move things along, eh?

Right.

So, the baddie.

His name was something long and non-English.

Salvatore, or Santino, or Salvation... Whatever the fuck it was, it didn't really matter. What mattered was that it was time to make him dead.

He stepped around the corner and was met with a spray of bullets, all of which lodged themselves into his Kevlar vest.

"Oh, come on!" he yelled over the sound of the gunfire. "This is real leather, you know. I'm tired of all the offscreen sewing and shit."

When the spray finally ended, he took a moment to catch his breath.

"…ow," he whispered to himself.

"You shouldn't have followed me here," the man said.

"Yeah, whatever," Deadpool replied. "Look, I'll make this easy for you. You drop down and give me fifty, and I'll let you keep that hideous mustache you're sporting."

The man's eyes widened in surprise.

"It's not that bad, is it?"

"Yes, yes it is," Deadpool assured him. "You got a squirrel living in it or something?"

"It's just a little bit of gray, you dick," the man argued. "What about you? What's with the mask? Are you hiding a mustache under there, too, or something? Maybe some acne scars?"

Deadpool shook his head and stepped forward, his guns drawn.

"Don't come any closer!"

"You know, this would be much more intimidating if you didn't look like a cartoon mouse."

"Stop it with the mustache!"

"Alright, alright," Deadpool said. "Enough with the mustache. But what is it about your hairline? I can't put my finger on it."

The man sighed in exasperation and pulled out his pistol, aiming it right at Deadpool's face.

"Hey now, don't point that at me," Deadpool scolded him. "That's not a very nice thing to do."

He ignored him and pulled the trigger, a loud boom ringing out as the bullet fired. It whizzed by him but missed its mark.

"You really are a dick," He grumbled before aiming his gun right between the man's eyes. And he was going to shoot, honest.

He really was.

But then his phone rang, and he was well-reminded of the current song playing through his head.

I'm a buff baby that can dance like a man. I can shake-ah my fanny, I can shake-ah my can!

Needless to say, he was distracted.

He lowered his gun and looked down at his pocket, where his phone was still ringing and still vibrating against his leg.

"Shit, hold that thought," He said to the guy, and he holstered his gun.

"Wh-what the hell are you doing?!"

Deadpool put his finger up to shush him before pulling his phone out of his pocket to answer it.

If you're an evil witch, I’ll punch you for fu—

"Heyyyy," he said in a sing-songy voice, "you've reached the phone sex hotline. For kinks and fetishes, press one. For booty calls, press two. For your favorite mercenary, press three."

"Ey, pendejo—" His opponent started, but he cut him off by snapping and raising his finger.

"Cut it, Tuco Salamanca. Breaking Bad called and wants its meth-cooking mustache back."

"Wha-I-you-"

"Anyways, this is your favorite merc speaking. Who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?"

"Is this a bad time?"

Wade's eyes widened in shock, and his jaw dropped open when he heard her voice on the other end of the line.

"Baby girl! Is that you? Oh, how I've missed your voice. It's like hearing an angel, or an angelic chorus, or a whole bunch of angels, but you're the most important one. Like, the lead singer or something."

"I literally saw you last night." Your voice was always drenched with the most amazing kind of sarcasm, and he'd missed it.

"And?"

"It's only been a few hours."

"And?"

"That's a short amount of time."

"And?"

You sighed, but he knew you weren't really annoyed.

"Anyways, you sounded busy," you continued, "so I'll just let you go."

"What?! No! Don't hang up!" He shouted into the receiver. "I've only fiddled with my pistols! Nothing interesting is happening right now!"

"Your pistols, huh?" You asked a hint of mischief in your voice.

"Well, yeah. They're the most important part of the mission, you know."

In the corner of his eye, he could see his target making his way towards the edge of the building. Quickly and efficiently, without dropping his attention from his conversation with you, he lifted his gun and fired a shot at the man's knee.

"Ah, fuck!" the man screamed in pain. "My knee!"

"Hey! Language!" Deadpool scolded him. "The lady of the house is listening!"

"Lady of the- what the fuck?!"

"I said language, you mustachioed rat!"

"Mustachioed rat?" You asked.

"Sorry, babe," he replied. "You know how excited I get when Downtown Abbey is on."

“There’s gunshots in Downtown Abbey?"

"Gunshots? Oh, no, no. That was… uh, a car alarm. Yeah, the neighbor's car alarm was going off."

"Uh-huh," you said, not sounding very convinced. And, of course, that was right around the time the guy's gun went off again, this time hitting him square in the shoulder. It made the phone fall out of his hand and clatter onto the ground, but the call was still connected.

"Dammit!" He yelled, looking at the fresh blood dripping down his arm. "That's gonna take forever to heal!"

"Who are you talking to?" The man demanded, his gun still aimed at Deadpool's face. "You're working with someone?"

"Hey, now, I don't remember giving you permission to talk," Deadpool told him, holding his bloody arm up to his face. "Look, I've gotta call you back, babe. I know it's been so heartbreakingly long—"

"Again, only a few hours," you said.

"—but duty calls. Love you, bye."

"Love you, bye."

With that, the line disconnected.

"Ugh," he groaned, his heart aching for the loss of your sweet voice. "I miss her already."

"Ey," his opponent growled, drawing his attention. He started speaking in rapid-fire Spanish, which Deadpool didn't really understand, but he didn't have to. The guy was just ranting and raving.

"Alright, alright, chill," Deadpool said. "Just calm down. It’ll all be over soon, little buddy."

"I am not little! I am a giant!" The guy protested, and Wade could practically see the steam coming out of his ears. "And I will not chill!"

"Well, can't argue with that, I guess," Deadpool said with a shrug, and he took aim. But before he could pull the trigger, the guy was running again.

"Hey, what did I tell you about running?!" He yelled, but his voice fell on deaf ears as the guy reached the ledge.

"I am a giant!"

"No, you're a giant asshat!"

"I will not be bested by some masked buffoon!"

"Buff? Me? Why, I never!"

"You're the biggest asshole I've ever met!"

"You know what? I am a big ass! A big, round, bubbly ass." He paused for a second. "Hey, what's your favorite flavor?"

"Fuck you, you red-clad imbecile!"

"You know, I'd ask you out to dinner first, but we're kinda past that now."

"Argh!"

"Alright, enough stalling," Deadpool said. "It's time to end this."

"Yes," the guy said, turning his gun back on Deadpool. "It is."

Of course, Deadpool being the smart-ass he was, he'd already taken a step to the side. As the bullet whizzed past him, he reached for his gun.

"Now, where did I put that thing? Oh, there it is."

He aimed the gun and fired, and the man fell back onto the ground. The bullet hit him right in the middle of his forehead, his blood splattering all over the concrete.

"Ha ha! Fatality. Deadpool wins!" He said, his voice taking on the deep, grounded tone of the narrator from Mortal Kombat. "Flawless Victory."

He stood over the body for a few seconds, reveling in his victory, before he felt the presence of another.

The gun on his right side got ripped from its holster, and the barrel was aimed back into his face, as it always seems to be.

But, he already sensed it was coming, so his fingers wrapped around his other and aimed that right in the golden spot… and let’s just say, The Golden Girls was a little less golden and a lot more crimson.

"Wow, this has got to be a record," He said as he bent down to stare at the new one’s anguish. "Two dead ugly mustaches in the same day. You can call me Sweeney Todd because shit… I just shaved you the fuck up."

He didn’t give the poor bastard a chance to even whimper before he fired another two shots into the man's head. All in all, this had been the easiest payday he'd had in a while.

He picked up his cell phone and slipped it back into its pocket before bending down and scooping up the mustache man's pistol.

"Ooh, lookie here, a nice, shiny new pistol," he said to himself. "Just what I've always wanted. Well, I don't actually need it. It's not like I have any other holes in my body, but you know what they say. The more the merrier."

He stuffed the gun in his holster and turned around, heading back the way he'd come.

"Time to get back to the good stuff," he said. "I have a date with my favorite girl."

He hopped up onto the ledge and looked down, his eyes locking on the window to his apartment.

And when he arrived, bloody and battered, you could only smile while holding up little ole Mary Puppins in all her drooling glory.

God, how he missed his girls.

[norrisainz33]

celebrity crush || eo31

☆ summary: esteban gets the chance to meet his celeb crush at f175

☆ pairing: esteban ocon x famous!reader

☆ fc & warnings: bella hadid x none

☆ a/n: first esteban fic!!! if u saw me post this by accident before... no you didnt

masterlist

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

new interview with esteban ocon has been posted

view transcript

[interviewer 1] so esteban -- its no secret that you are a very big fan of marvel and super heroes! can we expect to see more special super hero helmets this season?

[esteban] yes!! i have some exciting special helmets!! tho i dont want to give too much away but there will be one featured this season for sure

[interviewer 2] amazing, well we can't wait to see what you're cooking up!!

[interviewer 1] while we’re on the topic... a little birdy told us that a particular hero and actress were your favorite - y/n y/l/n?

[esteban] *laughs* oui y/n may or may not be my celebrity crush. i just think she is a fantastic actress and she plays one of my favorite characters in the marvel universe

[interviewer 1] well you're in luck esteban! the same little birdy told me that she's going to be in attendance at the f175 event tonight!

[esteban] no way! well i'm really going to have to get dressed up now eh?

estebanocon has posted to his private story

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lando: WHAT

estebanocon: mate i know

lando: you better shoot your shot

estebanocon: that’s the plan!

lando: i’m fairly certain lewis knows her…. let me see what i can do 😉

estebanocon: 😮

lance_stroll: now is your time to shine

estebanocon: wish me luck mon ami

olliebearman: **and for our livery reveal

estebanocon: well of course

haasf1team: our intel says she was invited by alpine (🤢) because of their owners. she'll be sat 2 tables away from us if my seating chart is accurate

estebanocon: admin you are my HERO

haasf1team: you’re our hero estie

abbipulling: if you don't catch her im going to be disappointed

estebanocon: going to try my hardest!

teamestebanocon: good luck boss man

estebanocon: ❤️

ynuser has posted to their story

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user1: LONDON?!

user2: are you in london bc they’re making you the new queen? or…..

lando: my friend esteban ocon would give you a car if they don’t let you keep that one

teamestebanocon: my friend esteban ocon saved some cats from a burning building today and let me borrow his ferrari. i’m sure you could borrow his car too

user3: mother mother mother

estebanocon: 😍 looking forward to seeing you at the o2 later!

haasf1team: we can’t get you an alpine but we can get you some paddock passes to attend a race with a superior team 🫣

ynuser: hmmm is the monaco gp on the table?

haasf1team: OMG

haasf1team: sorry… i mean yes! any gp is on the table!

lewishamilton: and this is how i find out you're coming tonight?

ynuser: surpriseeee!!!! hehe sorry lewy. ive been so busy i forgot to reach out

lewishamilton: all good y/n! i'm looking forward to seeing you. p.s. i promised one of my fellow drivers that i'd introduce you to someone so be ready

ynuser: cryptic but fair. are they cute at least 👀

lewishamilton: i'll let you decide that one for yourself

user4: ok she’s a car girl now?

yourbff: no no get a pink lambo baby not this white alpine nonsense

ynuser: you're so right

zendaya: pleaseeeee come visit tom and i tomorrow

ynuser: done and done. i miss you both more than anything in the whole world

user5: i’ll buy whatever it is you’re selling

f1gossip has made a post

liked by user1, user2, user3, user4, user5, user6, user7, user8, user9, and 14,320 others

f1gossip: marvel superstar and fashion icon, y/n y/l/n, has graced the f175 red carpet! its said that she's here at the request of her costar/alpine investor. we wouldn't be properly reporting if we didn't also tell you that she was spotted talking with lando norris and esteban ocon after lewis hamilton appeared to introduce his fellow drivers to his superstar friend. esteban has publicly said on multiple occasions that y/n is his celebrity crush - could our very own esteban have shot his shot? we'll keep you updated if we hear anymore.

view all comments

ynfan1: WHO THAT IN THE MIDDLE SLIDE

ynfan2: no fr.... im looking.....respectfully....... should i get into f1?

user31: pls look away this is a family affair

user1: my two worlds colliding

user12: KJFGHJFGHKJDFGNKJNFG

user2: well thank goodness you stayed calm

user8: so what im learning from this is if i talk about my crush enough,,, i'll get to meet them

user12: the all brown leather is serving so hard its insane

user13: they should just put her on stage instead of the cars.. i'd rather watch that

ynuser has made a post

liked by estebanocon, lewishamilton, lando, tomholland2013, marvel, sabrinacarpenter, oliviarodrigo, and 2,432,758 others

ynuser: what a wonderful weekend in london

view all comments

tatemcrae: you’re a literal goddess

ynuser: you're the literal love of my life

user4: mamacita

f1: always great to see you! [liked by ynuser]

user31: WHO gave you those flowers? quick esteban look away

user2: maybe it WAS esteban who gave her the flowers!!

user8: didnt they like just meet like 72 hours ago?

user2: yes but like they could have hit it off!!!

user31: ya know what user2..... maybe you're on to something

user8: y'all can't be normal abt nothin huh

ynfan: who is esteban?

user9: oh boy

estebanocon: was a pleasure meeting you!

ynuser: right back at you! 🌹

user2: omg she responded someone check on estie

user10: oh that last slide feels intentional...the black and red like haas.....noticing things......

lewishamilton: missed you my friend

ynuser: missed you more lew

user5: looks like im getting into f1 now

ynuser has posted to their story

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user1: i promise whatever the person who is getting to take you out is offering,,,, i can do one better 😭😭😭😭

lando: 👀

ynuser: 🤨

user14: pls just one chance 😫

estebanocon: mon dieu you looked incredible tonight. thank you for a wonderful evening y/n/n

ynuser: thank you esteban! you looked quite handsome yourself

ynuser: let me know if this is too much but… i’d really like to keep seeing you

estebanocon: too much?? don’t be silly y/n. i’d love nothing more

ynuser: thank god - i was a bit nervous you wouldn’t be interested

estebanocon: have you not seen the multiple interviews of me publicly crushing on you? 😅😅😅😅

ynuser: hahahaa i have but still

estebanocon: no buts

estebanocon: wanna come watch me race in melbourne?

yourbff: what is this????? details immediately???

ynuser: you know how i went to that f1 event? well one of the vroom vroom guys was confident enough to ask me to grab drinks and he just was so incredibly handsome so i said yes…. and then at drinks he bewitched me with his french charm and now we went to dinner and i think i might like him like him

yourbff: you know what … i think being a wag suits you honestly

user22: feeling like montoya rn

tatemcrae: PAUSE! are you on a date?

ynuser: yes

tatemcrae: CALL ME RN

user25: idk how to bounce back from this ill be fr

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user4: chat we’ve lost her

tatemcrae: i can't believe this

ynuser: neither can i ... honestly i never thought the day would come where i found a partner that was willing to put up with all the craziness that i bring to the table but he's so incredible

tatemcrae: literally could cry rn. i am endlessly happy for you y/n!!! you deserve nothing but happiness

user2: AUSGP YOURE GOING TO THE AUSGP I JUST KNOW IT

lewishamilton: roscoe is wondering where his thank you treats are for making this happen

ynuser: roscoe or you?

lewishamilton: both

ynuser: i'll bring them to the paddock 😉

user19: adding melbourne to my bucket list rn

estebanocon: oh mon ange, we are in soft launch territory now?

ynuser: yes! you said that was ok? 😫😫 i can take it down!!!

estebanocon: yes mon amor! just teasing you 😘

user31: you can't tell me thats not esteban ocon omg

lance_stroll: was wonderful to meet you this evening!

ynuser: it was a pleasure meeting you!!! let's hang out more xxoo

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ynuser: oh but you've got a sports car

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user2: is this supposed to be a soft launch bc you ain't slick girl ik that’s esteban’s car

tatemcrae: while you drive it real far 😉

lando: uhhh hey... while you're here.....

ynuser: good bye lando!

user18: literally sick with jealousy

estebanocon: ❤️

ynuser: 🤍

ynfan1: yup alright im into f1 now too

haasf1team: thanks for joining us y/n! black and red are your colors 😍

ynuser: i think so too

user24: i’d like to thank beyoncé for y/n’s appearance at the ausgp

roscoelovescoco: come to silverstones toos!! i misses yous

ynuser: anything for you my love

user43: i seriously have no one to talk to abt this and im about to crash out

user87: join f1twt and you will

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

a/n: thanks for reading!! likes and reblogs appreciated!! lmk if you’d like more estie fics- i’ve noticed he doesn’t get a lot of love on here 🫶🏻

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

disclaimer: pictures are not mine and everything i write is fiction

© norrisainz33 || please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform

[ozzgin]

Welcome to the first round of Monster Dating, where five creatures compete in order to become your forever mate! For our Valentine's Day special - and given the festive occasion - we won't have anyone eliminated...yet. You can, however, vote your favorite of the round, which earns you a special date with the winner.

Get to know the participants in this little introductory round.

[Monster Dating Show Series] | [Participants Intro & Art]

Participant A: Exes? I couldn't care less about other monsters. I don't know, I guess I'd ghost them, or something? Look at me, I can just vanish the hell out of there.

[The camera zooms in, giving the audience a closer view of the pair of pants sitting on the chair. From the pocket, a small keychain dangles outwards: Human fucker for life.]

Mr. Host: Say, you're a bit of a human weeb, aren't you?

[The invisible hands are shoved inside the pockets, and the participant's chair groans lightly]

You: ...A what?

Participant A: I can't tell if you're trying to mock me with that kind of wording, but I'll let you know I'm a proud human fucker indeed! Why else would I be here? My beep only goes up for those sweet, little furless creatures.

[You look at the camera with an awkward smile as Mr. Host shuffles his papers and whispers another lecture about obscenities and lawsuits]

Participant B: How I deal with exes? Oh, I just devour them, really. How else would I maintain this?

[She leans sideways in her chair, pinching her plump thigh to prove her point. Mr. Host gestures at the cameraman to wipe the drool and zoom back out already]

Participant B: But you don't have to worry about that, (Y/N) darling. I'd never eat you! Well, not in the literal sense, anyway. [she glances down at your groin and smirks]

Mr. Host: Hey hey hey, behave yourself! [he snaps his fingers in front of the demoness]

Participant B: Of course! I wouldn't just jump out of my seat and actually act on it. Who do you take me for?

[After a short pause, she lunges at you, and you both tumble to the floor. Mr. Host begins screaming about etiquette, waving his arm at the camera crew and signaling for an ad break]

[The screen plays an advert about the latest flavor of monstrous instant noodles: Hellish Fires]

[Minutes pass. The channel finally switches back to live. You're sitting in your chair, legs squeezed shut and face flushed red. The succubus stares ahead with a smile and wet, glistening lips. Mr. Host is checking the remaining questions with a defeated expression]

Participant C: Oh, well...To be honest, I've never actually...

[The drider begins to fidget, avoiding the camera. You place a hand on his arthropod appendage]

Mr. Host: Right, you spent most of your life collared up, eh? Is that your thing, or...

Participant C: I didn't really...have a choice. [he scratches his cheek, searching for words] Anyways, I guess I'd-...Hmmm...strange. I can only picture myself as the ex. Which is probably the most realistic scenario. I mean, look at everyone else. What am I even doing here? I don't have any special powers - have I mentioned I can only create barriers? - and I'm rather plain-looking. You'd probably break up with me. Would I accept that? Sure. What else could I do? Don't get me wrong, I'd never move on. I'd mop around for the rest of my life, miserable and alone... [he continues rambling about his misfortunes]

[Mr. Host frowns at the camera crew, tapping his pen against the stack of papers. This guy's a special kind of pathetic, he thinks with pursed lips. Should they cut his interview short? No, not yet. There's some charm to it, after all. It'll tickle the sympathy of the audience. Poor, sweet boy, they'll think with shy tears. Hell, they might even watch merely out of pity! One can almost discern the dollar signs reflecting in the gorgon's eyes]

Mr. Host: Fantastic thing you got going there, boy! Save some of the sob stories for the later rounds, though.

Participant D: ...A what?

Mr. Host: You know, an ex-partner. Someone you're no longer dating.

[His screen goes black, and the eldritch creature begins computing]

Participant D: I'm afraid I've never 'dated' anyone. I have only existed within the void.

[A moment of silence. You glance at the camera, and Mr. Host flips through his pages. Clearly this wasn't part of the plan]

Mr. Host: Alright, let's put it this way; if you had a partner, and you broke up-

Participant D: Nonsense.

Mr. Host: Excuse me?

Participant D: I would not engage in any kind of courting unless I was certain of our compatibility. There would be no break up. [the TV head turns towards you, glitching eyes multiplying on the old screen] Rest assured, my dear (Y/N); I am not here out of some whim or mere desire. I have determined, with statistical accuracy, that we are fated to be together.

Mr. Host: A lot of confident contenders here, huh? We'll see how your math does in the next rounds, my man!

Participant E: What a puerile kind of question. Is this how you plan to gain viewers?

Mr. Host [visibly annoyed and insulted]: It's a preliminary round, boy. The audience - well, (Y/N), I mean - needs to know you, build some rapport with you! Are you to be trusted? Do you keep your previous partners around? These things matter, you know.

Participant E: Complete fodder. [he sighs, then leans back] I don't waste my time with romance. There's no "exes" to be had. [he looks at you with a determined gleam] So don't bother worrying; once you're mine, there's nothing coming in between.

[You turn away from the camera, a faint blush on your face]

Mr. Host: Now wait a moment, no time for romance? Why the hell are you here, then? It seems to me that the human is some sort of treasure to be won and displayed, the way you put it.

[Mr. Host leans into his microphone and whispers something. The audio team plays a fake track of people gasping in shock]

Participant E: Call it however you want, it doesn't change the fact I'll win this foolish game. [he crosses his arms, unbothered] Mark my words, human. There's no one better than me here.

[Mr. Host opens his mouth to speak, but reconsiders it. He glances at the camera mischievously. Should he tell the proud naga that there won't be any battles, just 'foolish games'? No, he'll realize it himself very soon...]

Special Guest: If you ask me, there's no place for friendship once it's over. I go for a clean cut!

Mr. Host: I see your point. What if you meet them spontaneously, though? Say...on the street, out in the world.

Special Guest: Huh? No, I don't keep them around. Why would someone else take them?

[The mantis creature considers the question again, then looks at you sheepishly]

Special Guest: Unless you want to have them?

You [shuffling in your seat]: Y-Your exes?

Special Guest: Their heads. Oh, I'm sorry, perhaps I wasn't clear; I behead them. I could offer them to you as trophies, if you'd like.

[Your hand involuntarily wraps around your throat, protectively]

You: No, thank you.

[The mantis lifts a bladed arm, demonstrating a swing]

Special Guest: Well, if you ever need me to take care of a pesky partner...Not to brag, but I'm the best when it comes to keeping it spotless and quick. [he grins at you flirtatiously]