#eh well new year new wips to never complete

[totothewolff]

Grand Prix Elite Academy (5/10) [NEW CHAPTER]

[🗯+18][👩‍❤️‍👨 Toto(professor) x reader(student, future F1 driver)][👨‍❤️‍👨Lewis x Seb][💘Romance][🥵Smut][🎀Age-gap][❤️‍🔥Wild parties][🏫College AU][🌈Queer/Fem Seb][✍️WIP][⏳Long read]

Summary: Your life turns 180 degrees after receiving your acceptance letter for the Grand Prix Elite Academy, the most exclusive and prestigious Formula One College, designed to shape the future drivers of the motorsport world. You will try to navigate your new life among the Monaco elites, survive the campus dynamics and rivalries between the faculties, and try to win this year's Elite Cup to beat an undefeated Mercedes, all while befriending your eclectic classmates, join the wild parties, have a couple of make-outs under the racing circuit benches, lose your v-card and get over that stupid crush you have on professor Toto. Will you make it alive to graduation? Race to Greatness! Author's note: This is a Formula One college AU fic set in an elite academy in Monaco, where the F1 Teams are Faculties, their Team Principals are professors, the FIA is the college board, and all the grid drivers are your classmates. You are accepted under a scholarship program called WomenOne and have lots to catch on to after years of putting your racing dreams on hold. Becoming the outcast new girl is always challenging, especially when all of you live on one campus.

After Bonfire Night ended, Carlos invited Charles, Lea, and you to stay at the Sainz's beach house for what was left of the weekend. It was next door to where the party took place.

Their house was a masterpiece of concrete and glass, a stark contrast to the gentle curves of the beach below, it had so many terraces that overlooked the endless sea, and every room you stepped into - in complete awe, glancing all around, eyes wide - was designed with minimalism at heart, the focus on the sweeping vistas rather than ostentatious decor. And it was S-T-U-N-N-I-N-G!

You had never seen something like it before. This was another one of your, embarrassingly frequent, "jaw-dropping experiences", and your friends started teasing you about it as soon as they noticed it too, those fuckers!

But to be real, your entire house fits inside their living room.

This unexpected escapade at the Sainz’s suited you perfectly since Toto sailed back to Monaco in the Stroll's yacht, like most of their guests, and you were left unable to spend more time with him or even talk about what happened between you two.

Well, at least he said goodbye to you with that deliciously long and passionate kiss.

All of this still feels like a fever dream, like you were supposed to wake up soon. How has this world become your life now?

Yacht parties, running errands on Ferraris, weekends at beach mansions? WHAT?!

-

The following afternoon the sun shimmers on the crystal-clear water, casting rippling reflections on the poolside tiles.

Laughs come and go as you chill with your friends at the Sainz's massive pool, you start to notice the tan lines forming on your sun-kissed warm skin, your legs lazily dangling in the cool water while wearing a relaxed smile, even though your mind is elsewhere, stuck on the night at the beach with Toto, a secret too fresh to share.

Carlos approaches you, his easy grin as disarming as ever. He offers you a glass of something cold and fizzy. "You look like you need this," he says.

You accept it with a polite nod, and he sits close to you, too close, his shoulder brushing yours, his fingers almost touching yours.

"So, what’s keeping you so distracted today, eh?" His dark eyes set on you.

Instead of answering, you just slide off the edge of the pool in one smooth motion, sinking into the fresh water and splashing Carlos.

He chuckles, watching you from above.

"Maybe I just needed to cool off," you answer, without lying as your mind kept replaying those intimate moments with Toto.

-

On Sunday, you arrive back to your dorm, late at night.

Thank god for Oscar! He was kind enough to pick you up from the port on his way back to campus, after spending his weekend with his sisters.

Oscar was getting down the jet when he read your texts in the group chat asking for the campus pin location.

Charles had to leave you in a rush, to once again visit his grandpa after another health scare. Lea offered to take him to the IC unit at the Hospital Saints Pères as soon as you docked in Monaco, knowing the city like the back of her hands, leaving you on your own.

This situation with Charles' grandpa was the reason why he arrived late at the beginning of the school year and why he sometimes missed classes.

You had no idea about it, till it got discussed in front of you, as Charles was on a call with his mom, and now you were left feeling anxious for him, Charles seemed so close to his grandpa, but he promised to keep you updated on the situation whenever possible.

-

As you are about to reach your dorm - down the now desert and quiet luxurious hallway - you notice a massive card box sitting next to the door. It is addressed to you, to your complete surprise.

Thank you, Naya, for not dragging it inside! How sweet of you!

Fuck! This shit is heavy!

And so you have to push it all the way to your room.

It seems Naya is already asleep, all the lights inside are off once you close the door behind you, and you fight your urge to bump the box against something to make things fall off, just to wake her up with the noise.

But you aren't that of a bitch. I mean, you should... after what she pulled on you, but you believe in karma, so you let it be... for the moment.

Of course, she had been sleeping for hours; even 9 p.m. is "late" for her. And of course, she missed all the fun at the Bonfire Party. You guys were everywhere, and not once did you spot her. At this point, you start wondering if she was even invited.

Brain, set a reminder to gossip about this with Seb.

Monday is a hell of a day for all students, and Naya obviously can't fail at being the perfect one. She's the blueprint of all high achievers, the perfect scholar, the bookworm, the always-on-time, the "knows it all".

You have seen Naya talk briefly here and there with other students, ones who get all excited when she addresses them, nervous or in awe under her stare, always with her good manners showing but it never goes more than a brief exchange, usually for something she needs or is required to do, she seems to only willingly spend her time around Nico and... Toto.

Jealousy strikes you as you recall the rumors about them and how close they truly seem. She is always close when he is around.

Brain, add another reminder to gossip about this with Seb.

-

The next morning a delicious smell sneaks from the kitchenette as you finish brushing your hair in front of your vanity's mirror, inside your bedroom, your stomach roaring as a response to it makes you dare to pop your head out of the door to see what was going on, not minding not being presentable yet.

You needed fuel, desperately.

And it looks like Naya cooked breakfast for two as a peace offering, maybe. The round table near the kitchenette's island is set beautifully, is impossible to deny she has good taste and lots of skills.

The fact that Naya is too perfect makes you a bit bitter, but those are your own insecurities. You fully get why all people, especially men... and why Toto... would find her extremely appealing.

"Morning," she greets you, looking already flawless, dropping a pancake on a plate, hair shiny and perfect, uniform pristine, face card on point.

"Hi," you reply, in baggy clothes you sport as pajamas, face fresh from the shower, not wearing the cleanest sleepers. You feel her intense gaze eyeing you down, disappointment creeping in the corner of her lip, subtle yet clear.

-

The first part of your breakfast goes in silence, just a few nods at "Could you please pass me this and that?" It's borderline awkward, till she dares to break ice.

"He asked me to give you this," Naya's hand goes inside her cute black cardigan's pocket. She hands you a business card with Toto's phone numbers, business and personal. She looks incredibly uncomfortable doing it.

"Toto seemed... extra happy this weekend..." Naya starts going.

You tense immediately. Oh, here we go.

"With me, because I fetched Mercedes 'Goodyear' backing for this year's Elite Cup. Are you ready to hit the track? I heard you were doing fantastic in the simulator," she lowers her gigantic cup of tea.

Pheww. That was close.

"I'm excited but I don't feel 100% ready yet. It's been tough, you know! Getting back in shape, working the extra mile, I was so rusted," that last part comes out a bit overdramatic, your shoulders go up as you confess.

You don't appreciate the amount of vigorous nods Naya gives you, agreeing.

"Good for you, this time we'll have two extra Free Practice sessions than usual before Quali starts, and now that you know which faculty's car you will be driving, it'll be easier for you to picture how things could go," she points with her thumb toward your room door, showing curiosity.

WHAT?

You look at her with a blank expression, slowly bathing your eyelashes, sitting additionally straight.

"The box?!" Naya heightens and gives you a 'duh' expression.

You still don't get it.

"You only get deliver one of those massive boxes when you were accepted into a faculty," she explains. Now she is the one who looks confused, how is it that you aren't aware of it?

"Oh, shit! I was so tired yesterday that I went straight to bed. I haven't opened it yet" you reply, eyes on your bedroom door now.

You feel your feet beneath the table moving, eager with excitement, ready to run back inside there, but at the same time you are as perplexed as Naya at the moment.

You didn't receive any email or DM on the GPEA app informing you of this. From which faculty it was? You were dying to find out.

-

It turns out to be a Williams' "Welcome to our class" package.

This has to be a joke, this must be a mistake!

You didn't even apply for a place at Williams, aware of the rumors, and from the start knowing you wouldn't be able to get in, they were totally out of your league, of almost everyone's leagues, to be fair.

Could this be Nico and Naya pranking you?

But as you start to pull out items, they seem legit and all clothes have your name beautifully embroidered on the inside labels. Everything is custom-made and tailored to you, now it makes sense why Student Affairs asked for your measurements when you enrolled.

After trying out another beautiful blazer you move to pick up from the box the stunning letter envelope that was beneath, feeling with your fingers the rich texture and quality of the paper before breaking the regal-looking Williams' blue wax seal on it and reading the exquisite lettering inside.

It is with my utmost pleasure and profound respect that I extend you a warm and gracious welcome to our distinguished faculty.

We hope for your presence to enrich our academic achievements and we expect you to embody our time-honored traditions and practices, the ones that constitute the very ethos of the Williams legacy.

Our commitment to nurturing intellectual curiosity and practical prowess inspires our alumni to reach their fullest potential, and it is our privilege to support you in this ambitious endeavor.

With warmest regards,

Claire Williams.

Dean of the Williams Faculty.

Along with the handwritten letter comes a coffee table book, which looks damn expensive and is HEAVY! It's about the history of the faculty, on the pictures inside are just too many legendary faces of the F1 world to point out.

Damn, the last names on that alumni list are insane!

The blue branded folder that comes with it is full of papers you need to fill out and sign, and attached is a trifold explaining to you in steps, all you are required to accomplish on your first day at Williams.

You are instructed to be at their common rooms in about two hours, which sets you in a rush, also it informs you that your driver's suit and helmet are waiting for you at their front desk.

You better move.

-

Naya has already left by the time you come out of your room wearing your new skin, ready and eager to walk the hallways as a Williams student.

-

"Is that… real?" you hear someone whisper as you pass by them.

"No way. She must’ve bought it for clout," another one says, voice tinged with jealousy.

A guy leaning against a locker stares in slack-jawed awe. "Williams? Her? No way…"

Walking past the Starbucks on campus, you notice a girl clutching her drink tightly, glaring at you with barely concealed disgust. "Wasn't she here on a scholarship? This can't be," she hisses to her friend, who nods.

You feel more gazes on your every step, some admiring, some envious, others sharp with denial or happy for you, a couple even cheering you up, rooting for the underdog, some already predicting you would be the dark horse of this season.

As you reach the main building's outdoor stairs, you feel Nico's eyes burning on you as he is sitting there with some handsome male friends.

-

"Congratulations, Madam Williams!" Charles greets you with a funny bow, you cross paths in the hallways of the main building.

"Congrats, bae!" Lea comes to hug you. She was a few steps behind, they were coming from Ferarri's hospitality.

Ferrari's majestic common rooms are one of the oldest and first ones built in the GPEA, as the years went by, they got eaten by the overgrown campus and now ended up located in the weirdest spot, inside the main building. It is usual to see lots of red coming, and going in those corridors.

Monday for them meant faculty meetings, and Mattia didn't allow anybody to be late so they arrived hours before you.

"It's extremely difficult getting in the Williams cult, I mean faculty, it's so hermetic. Any chance you have a link with the Williams family?" she looks honestly surprised and even a bit worried, which makes you feel uneasy.

An unintentional baff comes out of your mouth, "Me knowing THE Williams? Girl, bye. Maybe it's due to Claire being in charge? I have no idea, you are the knowable of the two, you tell me, maybe it's a girl's girl type of situation, or maybe because of my WomenOne scholarship she gave me a shot?"

"Sounds so unlikely," Charles agrees.

"To be accepted or invited there, is usually the second, either you have to be close to their family, aka old money rich, bonus points if you grew up among the Monaco or British elites, or be part of the Formula One royalty, like Mick who's a Schumacher, basically" Lea explains.

"Not always, they rejected Naya, and she's a Lauda!" Charles corrects Lea. "Also, a stellar reference could open those doors for you, look at Mansell, that's how she got in" he adds.

"You know that was because of Frank and Niki not letting things go," Lea addresses him, rolling her eyes at Charles and giving you a "this guy!" face. "Any chance Alain Prost wrote you a recommendation letter as he did with Mansell?" she asks you.

You shake your head while putting a pouty mouth. "I just pray it's not Nico pulling me a joke."

"Please don't say that name, he could Beetlejuice here! God forbids!" Charles makes you burst into laughs.

-

You make it to the doors that lead to the common rooms or "hospitality" - as the kids say - of the Williams faculty, which turn out to be more than mere gathering spaces for the small and select group you now form part of.

Under your total stupefaction, this place looks like a set of a life soaked in privilege and tradition, every detail screaming wealth and legacy.

The moment you cross those large cedar entrance doors, the air changes. It’s quieter inside, the high vaulted ceilings humble you with their gorgeous skylights, ones surrounded by intricate moldings gilded with real gold leaf, letting in the natural light and the rays of sun reflecting on the spotless chequered marble floors.

Despite all this splendor, the first thing you notice as you set foot into the foyer - the one that leads you to the grand stairs that go downward to the study room - is THE helmet.

Encased and lit like a museum relic, Ayrton Senna’s iconic yellow helmet sits inside a glass case, radiating a quiet, untouchable power.

Your breath hitches as you get closer, your reflection wavering in the glass. It's the room's centerpiece, a clear "welcome to our iconic faculty".

You knew that helmet by memory down to the detail as the F1 nerd you were raised to be, its vibrant colors, the bold stripes of green and blue, the emblem of a legend.

But seeing it there, in person, was something else entirely. It felt like stepping into a shrine, and the sunflowers students leave around it as offerings to pass a test or to get a pole position make it feel more so.

The plaque beneath reads, "Ayrton Senna: Champion, Visionary, Alumnus," followed by the years he spent at Williams and the generation he graduated from.

Your throat tightens. It is absurd to think that someone like him had walked these very same halls, and sat in these same rooms. He was a mere "mortal", like you are, trying to navigate life among these aristocrats too, and yet, here was proof that he had once been just a rookie too.

You wonder if he had ever felt so out of place at first, as you do now, or if confidence had always been his companion.

You hear footsteps behind you and stiffen, suddenly self-conscious. A couple strolls past you, their laughter low and effortless, their glances sliding over as if you were part of the decor.

You follow the sound of the students' voices down those regal stairs, landing in the study room, where people lounged with effortless grace on the leather armchairs and Persian rugs, under that breathtaking chandelier.

You had seen places like this in movies or glossy magazine spreads, but not in the flesh, and certainly not as a space you were meant to inhabit.

You swallow hard, nervous to face all these new people, fixing your hair as a natural reaction, feeling the faint scent of drugstore shampoo clinging to you.

The group of three sitting by the fireplace completely ignore you as they are immersed in their laptop screens, close is a girl with a jawline sharp enough to cut glass and a last name that also echoes through the history records, she is sitting by her own and absentmindedly tapping a Montblanc pen against her lip as she writes notes on her textbook. You know who she is, everyone does, she is one of the most popular persons on campus, Pavla Stewart.

Across the room from her, is another student whose nose is almost touching the iPad he is holding which hides his face, you are only able to glimpse the massive headphones he has on.

Interspersed between some floor-to-ceiling bookshelves are gilded frames containing portraits of alumni holding in their hands or arms the most desired Elite Cup, students whose names are synonymous with motorsports, success, or scandal.

Beneath their watchful gazes, your current generation carries their lives in this space where time seems suspended, where the outside world feels almost vulgar.

As you notice the tea served in the porcelain teacups present on almost all surfaces a striking figure with long, hazel, wavy hair cascading gracefully down her back, a true Latina beauty seems to be the one to notice you.

Ah! So I haven't become a ghost?

Her skin gleamed, accentuated by the delicate curves of her form, wrapped in a perfectly tailored Williams' sporty uniform, a white, short, fitted tennis dress with a polo collar, and a flouncy full skirt.

"Allow me to introduce myself, I'm María José Montoya. It's an absolute pleasure to welcome you to our revered and much-loved faculty. I'm delighted to acquaint you with our common rooms and exclusive facilities, a true sanctuary for our scholars." she gives you a handshake. "As the head of our "Trainee Performance Program", I have the privilege of guiding our new talents," José gifts you a warm smile, her teeth are so white and perfect. "Which is also a nice manner of acquiring those additional credits I need to graduate, you see," she winks an eye at you.

You like her already. And, she does have class! Can I be like you when I grow up, please?

"A senior student, then? Are you friends with Sebastian Vettel?" you don't know what else to say.

"Hamilton's charming other half, correct? A sweetheart, indeed. Oh! Mick wanted to join me on your welcome committee but he's at the simulator, his schedule changed. He shared with us the most delightful praises regarding you."

"How sweet! Shit, it when over my head for a minute he is in Williams too!"

"Oh, we do not employ that language here, Claire loathes it. We are rather... orthodox in our expressions, and in.. all, traditions, traditions, traditions, "That's very Williams!" is an expression you soon will get acquainted with," a smirk forms on her lips. "Perhaps it would be best to reserve that for our mechanics when you meet them" she gently scolds you, with a lot of diplomacy and politeness.

"Me and my potty mouth, I'm so, so sorry," you go all red, yet she offers you a cordial dismissing gesture.

"Don't be too self-critical, you just arrived. It's quite natural to feel overwhelmed at first. However, it would be wise to familiarize yourself as soon as possible with our particular customs and protocols, ones that will be essential to ensuring your success and, indeed... your survival within these halls," her eyebrows go up at that last part, which may imply something that makes you feel anxiety.

Survival? She said?

-

After a complete and detailed tour of the place and a two-hour welcome training course, you are left with some free time to hang in the study room before you meet with Keke, head of the faculty.

As José and you cross past the foyer once more you dare to ask about THE helmet.

"Good heavens, no, one doesn't simply become accustomed to it as it was merely a decorative piece of artwork adorning a wall," she gently touches your arm with a delicate gesture, her warmth and friendliness radiating.

During the tour, María José introduced you to numerous fellow Williams students, which relaxed you enough to not panic at being left alone with them.

"Keke is engaged in a most important conference call with one of our sponsors, he will receive you soon. I'll return shortly, Alois, Delon, behave yourselves." José sends them a look as she leaves you in their company.

The Villeneuve twins nod in sync, to your left, spread on the large Chesterfield leather sofa, the enigmatic duo exuding an aura of elegance and composure. Their tall and slender yet athletic figures, porcelain features, angular cheekbones, and full lips, make them irresistibly handsome.

Their dark hair styled perfectly and their uniforms impeccable, they put to work their charming façade and address you speaking with soft, melodious, French accents that are as sweet as honey.

However, you notice their striking blue eyes appear icy and detached, with an air of aloofness that's unsettling, who knows what lies behind their cold, dead stares but you are a bit curious to find out.

As soon as María Jos�� fades, Alois fires first.

"Pray to tell, where do you come from?" he pulls the most charming fake smile you have ever witnessed - if you weren't an expert on those you would have fallen for it.

How is someone this pretty?

"In Monaco like most of you, but in the suburbs"

The look of shock on their faces is priceless.

"Is it indeed such an unsafe place?"

"What?! No!"

"So, you socialize with the common folk?" he keeps the questions coming.

"The what?" you look a bit baffled.

He wouldn't dare...

"The lower class," Alois heightens, nonchalant, stretching on the sofa.

He dared...

"I identify as working class," you inform him, now sure of what he meant, you saw it coming but wanted to be sure.

The previous look of shock on their faces becomes horror, which doesn't feel as priceless now, it's awkward.

"Surely, you must be the new scholar who obtained that help?" even with his extra effort to make his voice charming, you pick the disdain in his words.

"Here on a scholarship! That's me!" you wave him a small hello with your hand.

"Then, is true no member of your family has partaken in Formula 1?"

You nod your head. "Not even me," and shrug not giving a fuck.

Woah, owing this kid is easy.

"That's not very Williams," Delon exclaims, aghast, speaking for the first time. "But you must hold such talent to make it here. Congratulations," he sounds genuine, with none of that "let's charm you" game his brother was playing.

Okay, that at the end was unexpected.

"Thank you" you gift him a smile.

"Are you aware we at Williams are renowned for our reluctance to socialize much with other faculties scholars? I have seen you in the company of that black kid and his peculiar group of fanatics" Alois inquiries again.

"Lewis and his friends, you meant," you feel the instant impulse to snap back. "And yes, I have heard the rumors about the Williams' students being very close-knit."

You don't feel like dragging Mick into this, but he was part of that very same group Alois referred to. And he is a Schumacher as in S-C-U-H-M-M-A-K-FUCK! You messed it up!

"It appears I have misspoken," Alois places a hand over his chest. "My highest respects for Lewis" he paths his pec and adds. "I just... forgot his name..."

Was that supposed to be an 'oopsie' face? And nah, you didn't, YOU TWAT!

"...his talents are indeed remarkable, blacks are good at sports, you know?" He keeps going, to your distaste, looking entirely oblivious to the rudeness of his words and the condescending tone they convey.

"...Keke speaks exceedingly well of him. He almost married his son, have you heard?" Alois finally quiets.

His attempts to recover from his tactless comment only serve to further infuriate you, his condescending tone and reduction of Lewis' abilities to a simplistic stereotype make your skin crawl.

Keke's son...?

...Rosberg, of course! Keke Rosberg is Nico's dad.

LEWIS AND NICO WERE ENGAGED?!!

"Why Nico isn't in Williams, then?" you venture, feeling the desperate urge to change subjects before you end up slapping him and getting your ass thrown out. "Not that I wish to have him anyway near," your joke doesn't seem to land with them.

Boohoo you!

"You may feel a certain aversion to Nico but one cannot dismiss his talent. Toto recognized this and extended him the invitation first, one that Nico accepted much to Keke’s disapproval, that strangled their relationship, it had never been the same" Alois divulges you, just in time as Mick drops himself by your side looking exhausted.

Saved by the bell, lucky you.

-

"José, my darling, might we consider the possibility that this was an error? She seems to be a total nobody," Alois asks nonchalantly, rising to his feet, ready to call it a day, the sun was setting outside.

She shakes her head in denial. "Claire received a handwritten recommendation letter from an individual she and Frank hold in the highest regard, talking wonders about Y/N and implying Williams would regret passing on her. Though Claire has not yet revealed to me the identity of this person, I certainly will uncover it."

Those two exchange lethal glances, intrigue passing between them.

"You must. We cannot allow her, or any other, to stain our name. If she fails to meet our criteria, we'll devise means to get rid of her," he asserts firmly.

"We will, my love" she replies with resolute conviction.

-

The following day, Seb welcomes you with a "Hello, Williams!" his arms extended as you approach him swaying your hips, making your pleaded blue mini skirt dance around, showing a little bit more than planned, grabbing the stares of boys inside the old library.

What a shit hole this room was!

Look at you! Acting "very Williams" already, hilarious! No, but seriously, in comper with the rest of campus, this stance was trash, old, and humid.

"Is it true about their rituals down in that cultish million-dollar dungeon in which they clash those nepobaby rings together to make their nepopowers grow stronger?" Seb asks you, with a serious voice.

You let out a big cackle and you two start laughing your asses off till some "shhhs" come your way.

Oh, you totally can picture them doing that sort of stuff.

"COME ON! Half of you have fucked someone in here... somewhere," Seb turns around to face the room, pointing behind the tall bookshelves. "Don't shhh us!" he lets it all out while holding a limp wrist the entire time, much to your amusement.

"Gosh, what I'm going to do when you graduate?!" you bury your head in his shoulder while hugging him, sitting next to Seb, taking a brief break from your "Telemetry" essay as you are four pages in.

"I'll leave you with a photo of me to hang in your locker, light a candle to it when you need me and I shall come to you," Seb teases you, eyes still glued to his computer screen.

"Girl, I wanted to ask you something,"

"Shot ahead,"

"Did Naya was invited to the Stroll's party?"

"Naya? I don't seem to recall her," Sebastian then rocks in his chair to face you. This secluded table was chosen by him since he needed a less popular and crowded place to be able to work today.

His gorgeous Louboutin's brodeback lug over-the-knee boots swing along with him, their leather tone matching perfectly with his Aston's green cute uniform short shorts.

Seb's blonde ponytail a la Ariana Grande was higher than your dreams that day, also swinging along in his movement, "Baby, the bitch has no friends, period. No, Lance didn't invite her," he rushes to gossip before returning to updating student files in the STEM system on his Macbook Air.

Today he had lots of Student Affairs tasks to do. "I do it for the credits! I do it for those goddamn credits!" Seb reminds himself aloud as if he was saying a mantra, trying not to lose it.

"Why are you in such a rush?" you ask, before taking a sip from your Williams' blue, brand-new, Stanley cup.

"We fuck on Tuesdays, I need to be free by 5 p.m., and have all my tasks done by then, Lewis' fitness regime marks additional cardio for this day, and as you already know he was gone for almost two weeks to do those silly Mercedes-AMG promos and he hasn't given me any dick, I need him to rail me so hard I lose consciousness."

"I mean, I feel you," you nod, in agreement.

"Lewis dick has that cocaine hold on me" he discloses. "Speaking of dick, how are things with Toto after your little rendezvous at the beach?"

"Rende-what?!"

"After he docked his yacht in your harbor!" Seb holds giggles as he expresses.

"How you...?" your jaw drops. This bitch has witch powers now?!

Seb gives you a come-on look. "That shirt you got back wearing said it all to me, plus your 'I just orgasmed' glow."

You bite your lips all blushed. "We haven't seen each other or spoken since," you let out a long sigh.

"And what are you waiting for? For him to reach out? That's so old-school, why don't you go look for him? You are dying to do so, don't you? You know where he is..." Seb glances at his Apple watch, "Right now, Toto is about to finish his class in Hall E," his eyebrows go up and down suggestively.

You grab your stressed tote bag from the desk table and toss it into your arm, now on a mission.

"Oh, okay! See you!" Seb shouts, making drama.

You quickly pull reverse on your steps - already halfway to the exit - and give him a quick brush of lips, before exiting to look for your man.

-

As you maneuver to reach the lecture hall - walking in the opposite direction to the flow of students coming out of Toto's class - you start to chicken out and get jelly knees, but you truly want to be with him and share the news of having been accepted into Williams.

Hence, you dare to enter the now empty and quiet hall, rushing down the carpeted stairs to the front of the room where he is, trying not to lose all your courage gathered.

Toto was so focused on organizing his papers, that you could appreciate the movement of his broad and muscular shoulders as he exhaled without being noticed. He's so hot!

Slowly, he raises his stare sensing a presence, and his eyes meet yours. The instant recognition on his face is like a switch flipping, a mixture of surprise and something deeper, something familiar, something he showed you that night.

His lips part as if to speak, but words elude him for a second. He takes some steps forward, to come near you, and a smile, soft yet joyful, spreads across his face.

“Didn't expect to see you here,” Toto greets you with the faintest hint of disbelief.

“I had to see you,” your voice sounds nervous.

His smile widens a little, his eyes soften, and his gaze holds yours, both thinking about the intimacy you shared.

“I’m glad you did,” he murmurs.

"Hey, look!" you extend your arms and shift your body weight to one side, showing him the Williams' uniform on your body.

Toto doesn't look that surprised, but he indeed looks happy. He moves his long finger in a circle gesturing you to turn around for him. You feel his eyes traveling down your body as you slowly twirl, obeying, feeling a bit like a mannequin on a platform, a really horny mannequin.

"I think that skirt is too short on you," he says with a serious voice before playfully adding, "Just as I like it" flirting with you and placing the palm of his left hand on your ass while you enjoy the warmth, pressure, of his right thumb traveling your outer thigh, rubbing painfully slowly your skin in circles, making you feel things in your core.

You take a step closer to brush his body with yours and Toto starts placing soft kisses on your lips.

You return them two, three, four, five times more.

While sharing all about your days and listening very attentively to every word he tells you, being tremendously amused at how interesting his life was. He has done a lot for such a small amount of time since last you saw him.

-

You love being wrapped around his arms, listening to his voice, and sliding tenderly your hands all over his chest like you have been doing for the past hour.

"Now that I have you here..." Toto goes to the pile of papers on the desk, "I have something of yours" he hands you a familiar folder, and you waste no time to check out your essay's rating.

"I think it was worthy of an A but whatever..." you tease him, looking at the B rating he gave you.

"It was not," Toto replies without hesitation.

"Then, with who do I need to sleep to get that A+?" you taunt.

He starts shaking his head but with a very visible grin and some redness on his cheeks. It feels like a small victory for you to make him smile like that, he's so gorgeous.

"Now is it an A+?"

"Well, if I'm sleeping with someone for it, it requires that extra element."

You both laugh.

Then you wrap your arms around his neck and Toto's hands find your waist, his touch sends a shiver down your spine. You look up at him, his eyes full of desire mirror your own hunger.

While owning your lips with ravenous kisses, Toto pushes your body with his a bit too hard against the desk, which moves under your weight making noise.

Your hands roam his body, exploring his muscular tights and firm ass, one you often admire from afar. You moan softly into the kiss, your body pressing against his, eager to feel every inch of him, feeling his hardness.

He pulls you up from the ground, and you wrap your legs around his waist in a millisecond, your short skirt going up too, revealing a lot of you. His hands start exploring you down there with feverish urgency.

Your breath hitches as his gaze stops at your breasts. Unable to resist your erect nipples, noticeable from under your shirt, he lingers a hand to cup and touch them, aching to feel them. His thumb brushes against those sensitive peaks. You gasp at the contact, your head falling back.

"Fuck, Toto," you breathe, your fingers grasping at his belt. "I need you."

He smiles and slowly places you down on top of the desk. "We'll get there. But not here," his hands trail down your legs, leaving a path of goosebumps on their way to your skirt.

Toto rests his hands on your knees for a second while getting his tongue into your mouth as you kiss, you feel his fingers slowly sliding underneath your skirt, searching for something, exploring for a bit, till you feel the edges of your panties getting pulled, the warm wetness leaving you and pivoting for a cold breeze as he pulls your soaked panties down your legs and into his trouser's pocket, his erection so visible in those you are dying to release it.

"This come with me," he informs you, before giving you one last kiss.

"You're killing me, Toto," you pant, your fingers tangling in his hair as he pulls away.

-

With no underwear on, you go back to your dorm, placing your hands over your skirt at the smallest wind current, paranoid that you would flash someone.

As you cross the door, a furious Naya welcomes you.

"HOW?!" is all she spits, arms crossed.

Could there be a way she just caught you?

You remain quiet, allowing things to unfold a bit before rushing to open your mouth and fucking things up.

"I never expected you, OF ALL THESE PEOPLE, to be a wolf in sheep's clothing. Oh, you faked it so well! What a masterclass on naiveness, you got me. And that apparent concern, BRAVO!" she claps with her hands, "Oh, 'look at me, I'm all miserable, bwah! bwah!" she adds some crying gestures. "I'm here 'on a scholarship', LIES! 'And no faculty wants me', LIES, AGAIN! All while you knew you had a place secured at Williams the entire time!"

"Naya, what the fuck are you talking about! NO! I wasn't faking it! YES! I'm here on a scholarship," you start getting furious too.

"You know those scholarships are really hard to obtain? It's a very long painful and nerve-wracking process. One is not able to sleep waiting and waiting for the next email to arrive, praying it does. Y/N, some truly need those to support their studies, it's not fair you are here taking the space," she sounds so earnest, like never before, even her voice is different, her real speech pattern coming out as if the curtain just fell.

You tell me...

"NAYA, HONESTLY WHAT THE FUCK!! ARE YOU ON PILLS, BITCH?!!"

"OH, COME ON! No one gets into Williams without previous arrangements, without the courting, without the connections, without the MONEY!" she sounds resentful at the last one. "Be honest, who's backing you? There's no shame in being funded, trust me, I know. For sure is a big name."

"No one is giving me anything! I'm telling you the truth," you try to express yourself as frankly as possible since this is the very truth. "Listen, they were the ones who invited ME, no hints, no exchange, no contact, just a damn box appearing. You even had to explain to me what that meant."

"Oh, please!" she rolls her eyes at your words.

"How could you be so sure? Huh? How can you testify those are the only ways to get in?" now you are fuming.

"BECAUSE I TRIED THEM ALL!" she screams out, losing it.

Silence.

Oh, there it was.

Was Naya truly jealous of you? Oh my god. Okay, this is just impossible, how SHE could be jealous of YOU?

"It didn't even cross your mind for the briefest second that it could be because of my talent?" you cross your arms.

She releases a looney crackle.

"Oh, so you deserved it more than I do, huh? Why? Because of your family's name? Your status? Your wealth? So it should have been you instead of me, instead of a nobody? Well, guess who did get in!" that came out even more rude than intended.

"You don't know shit about me. Just, tell me how you did it, is all I want to know,"

"I told you, I DON'T KNOW! I just got accepted, I'm as shocked as you are..."

"Okay, fine! Don't share it with me. Keep your secrets! If it's due to your out-of-the-charts talents, as you say, let's allow the track to do the talking!"

"Let's fucking go, then!" you look mad and borderline mental at the moment.

You both face each other off for an instant, noses almost touching, before heading to your respective bedrooms, in opposite directions, and slamming your doors shut very loudly and at the same time.

-

That night you have a nightmare where the ghost of Senna pulls you by the hair and tosses you out of the Williams hospitality while everyone laughs at you, as you feel ashamed and cry, screaming at them "I'm not an impostor! I'm not an impostor!"

-

You tell your friends all about that dream during a night out at the 'Port 33' bar on campus - to ease yourself - but you don't mention a thing about your big fight with Naya.

"Once, Senna also came to me in a dream, but wasn't to kick me out, no, no," Lewis smirks while softly rocking his head, nodding several times. "YES! I blew him... if anyone wondered."

"NO ONE DID!" Pippa replies while sitting in Yuki's lap.

"Was he packing?" Lea's eyes sparkled, now Lewis had her full attention.

"Oh, he was," Hamilton adds, smiling like an idiot.

"Please tell me all about that dream, down to the detail," Lea swaps seats, and grabs the one next to him, resting her elbow on the sofa's back, and closing her eyes, to picture it better, as Lewis starts whispering it all into her ear.

To be continued... < Previous chapter | Masterlist | Next chapter >

Author's note: We are back on track! I hope you enjoy the chapter <3 By the way, I'm editing previous chapters, just making them better, some were written in a rush, sorry about it, I hope you don't mind :) if you like this story don't forget to leave a heart.

Join us at The Wolff Pack Discord Server > https://discord.com/invite/tpgArxqbfd

[chaninfused]

happy new year everyone ‼️🤍 thank you for sticking around

[beloved-child-of-the-house]

Draco had got barely halfway across the Entrance Hall when it happened. He felt the Trip Jinx round his ankles before he saw his assailants, and he went sprawling hard onto the cold stone floor, the wind knocked out of him, his wand spinning away to clatter out of sight and well out of reach. He lay on his front, coughing and gasping with ugly laughter ringing in his ears.

"Nasty tumble, there Malfoy," jeered someone behind him. "You want to mind where you're going, or you could hurt yourself."

Draco pushed up onto his hands and knees, still trying to get his breath. There was no way he could reach his wand before they jinxed him again; he hadn't even seen where it landed. He never was any good at muggle duelling. He got one leg under him, bracing himself to be knocked flat again, and heard a shout from above him.

"Protego!"

The jinx bounced off the Shield, and Draco got to his feet under its protection. Harry Potter was striding down the marble staircase toward them looking like a thunderstorm. Halfway along he stooped and picked up Draco's wand. He hardly glanced at Draco as he passed him and marched up to the little knot of seventh years picking themselves up from where they'd been hit by the rebounding jinx.

"Think it's funny to knock people down, do you, McLaggen?" snarled Potter, glaring up at the biggest of the lot.

"Oh don't get your wand in a knot, Potter. It's only Malfoy," said McLaggen in the sort of tone you might use to say 'It's only a slug.' "No love lost there, eh?"

"It doesn't matter who it is! We're not doing things like that anymore," Potter said furiously. "We just got done with a fucking war, and you want to keep fighting? You lot want to keep it going just for fun? Well, I don't, and I better not see you do that again! Now clear off! Twenty points from Gryffindor!"

"You can't--"

"Too fucking right I can! Now get back to your common room!" And, perhaps because Potter was Head Boy, perhaps because he looked like he could spit nails, or perhaps simply because he was Harry Potter, they did clear off. Potter watched them go, then turned to Draco. He still looked quite angry, but he was clearly trying to gather himself, "You okay?"

Draco had grazed his palms rather badly from throwing his hands out when he landed; his left wrist and forefinger were throbbing mightily, and his chest still ached, but he shrugged, "Fine."

Potter grabbed his sleeve and pulled Draco toward him to inspect his injuries, "Liar. You should go to the hospital wing and get that sorted out."

"I'll live," said Draco, but he didn't withdraw.

Potter frowned at him, chewed his lip. "I heal it for you if you'd rather," he offered after a moment.

"If nothing else will please you."

Potter pointed his wand at Draco's bleeding hands, "Episkey." The scrapes vanished, and Draco felt the spell heal his sprained wrist and finger as well. Potter pressed something into Draco's hands. Draco's wand. Draco had already forgotten he'd picked it up.

______

Excerpt from my new fic Queen of the Weeds! Drarry, Rated E, 60K. This is a coming of age story about figuring out who you're going to be and what you're going to do after your life very publicly falls apart. Draco and Harry become friends and more after they both return to Hogwarts for their 8th year after the war.

This fic is not a WIP, it is complete. I will be posting new chapters on Sundays and Thursdays until the whole thing is up.

Also gratitude to Allie @oflights from whom I got the poem that I took the title from.

Edit: This fic is now completely posted! You can read all 10 chapters now now now! I hope you enjoy reading it, because it was such a genuine pleasure to write, and I'm really going to miss working on it! Get the whole story here on AO3!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Old Scars, New Blood 4

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, manipulation, borderline bullying, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Reader has accepted that she’ll never be wanted, not only by the man she’s crushed on for years, but by anyone. That is until a new player enters the game. (f!, short!reader)

Character: Lloyd Hansen, Thor Odinson

Note: Still sick but going to have to work.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

With meal prep complete, you return to Lloyd’s office to find it empty. The remnants of his earlier spill remain speckled over the desk and floor. You clean it up, leaving a lemony fresh scent in your stead. While you’re at it, you tidy up the bookshelves.

You hesitate on your way to the door. You glance over your shoulder as something tickles in your head. You still don’t get why Lloyd didn’t tell you about Valhalla. For months, he hid that from you. You think about that day in the car and being left on the side of the road. Maybe he’s been planning to cut ties with you for a while.

You stare at the large iMac. It would be wrong to snoop. Even if it isn’t his redeeming quality, you’ve always been honest with Lloyd. You’re just confused. He’s never anything less than straightforward so if he’s going to fire you, why hasn’t he just pulled the trigger?

Maybe… you know too much. That sends a shiver through you. It may actually end with shots fired.

“There she is,” Lloyd interrupts your inner turmoil and you whip around to face him. He’s freshly showered and styled. You can smell the specialty oil he puts in his mustache, “the fuck are you doing in here?”

“Cleaning,” you reply quickly.

“Looks pretty fucking spotless,” he tosses keys at you and you flinch, catching them against your chest, “I need a ride.”

“Um, I can get Jackie–”

“He drives like an old man,” he retorts, spinning on his heel as he snaps his fingers, “chop, chop, kid.”

You swallow your agitation. Usually, you’re better at it. Today you just find him grating. Maybe you’re just a bit sore about him leaving you on the highway. Well, get over it, he’s not apologising.

You follow him with the keys in your hand. He’s several paces ahead of you as you scurry to keep up. His stride is tense as he opens and closes his fists.

As you come outside, you hear a whistle. Lloyd peers over and scuffs to halt as he faces Thor. The large blond bounds over, a shirt with only one button done up displaying most of his chest. He looks over Lloyd’s shoulder and his cheek dimples.

“Running away?”

“Business,” Lloyd says flatly, “I’ll be back.”

“What about my business?” Thor challenges. Lloyd doesn’t respond. “Relax,” he slaps Lloyd’s arm, “I’m ragging on you. Tonight, we will share some of your scotch, eh? Get you nice and loose.”

“Mm,” Lloyd grumbles, “we’ll see.”

“The little one prefers wine, I think,” Thor points over Lloyd’s shoulder, “oh, and she has quite the sweet tooth, eh? You must know that.”

“Whatever. She’s the assistant. Her job is to worry about what I like,” Lloyd sneers, “don’t wait up.”

He turns back towards the car and you send an apologetic smile past him. Thor smirks and winks, flicking his tongue out lasciviously. You blanch and swiftly follow Lloyd.

You still don’t believe what he said in the kitchen. Not only that he said it but that he meant it. You’re certain it’s all just a part of this pissing match between the men. Thor keeps stepping onto Lloyd’s territory, he’ll keep going till he gets bit. You don’t how much longer Lloyd can hold out.

Lloyd’s in the passenger’s seat of the SUV before you even get to the door. You open it and swing yourself in. You hate how big all these vehicles are. You shove the keys in the slot and turn the engine. You shift in the seat and slide your phone out of your pocket, placing it in the cup holder.

You check the time then the mirrors. It’s not unusual for Lloyd to head out later in the day but you didn’t have anything on the agenda. You know better than to ask questions. That’s what he liked about you, if he likes anything about you.

“Would you just fucking drive?” Lloyd growls.

You wince and shift into gear. You look behind you then ahead of you. Thor watches you as you ease into reverse. Or maybe he’s watching Lloyd…

You roll the wheel and turn towards the gate. Lloyd takes out his phone and slumps in the seat as he scrolls and taps. You steer through the gate and pull out onto the road. You don’t even know if you should ask where to go.

“Head northeast,” he says.

Right. You take his direction and turn onto the ramp onto the highway. He grumbles at his phone but says nothing else until you have to get into the exit lane. What is he up to?

You head into the city and he directs you through the main row where much of the nightlife thrives. You’ve been there many times before. He isn’t shy about his nocturnal activities. He commands you past his typical spot.

When he points you into the lot behind a Hilton, you frown. Is he that desperate to get away from Thor? You don’t say a word as you idle by the back wall.

“Right,” he doesn’t look up from his phone as he undoes his seat belt, “I’ll be a while.”

You look over at him confused. What does he mean?

“I’m sure you can keep yourself entertained,” he pokes his tongue out as he smirks at his phone. You catch the glimpse of a chat, a picture sent of a woman in a thong. You cringe and grip the wheel.

“I’ll just go back to the compound–”

“You’ll stay the fuck here,” he tears his eyes from the cell and jabs his finger at you, “you need to remember who the fuck you work for, kid.”

You say nothing as he opens the door and drops out of the SUV. You know this side of Lloyd. His ego is bruised. It happens after rough missions or when an agent gets mouthy. It’s worse now since he can’t do much about his problem. 

He slams the door behind him and you watch him march towards the entrance. You sigh and roll down the windows before you shut off the engine. There’s no use in wasting gas for who knows how long. You’re certain if you get bored, you’ll have enough time to get a coffee down the block.

You grab your phone and shuffle through several apps. You can’t focus on any of the time-eating games you keep for when you’re restless. You have nothing else to distract you. Your sister hasn’t answered the text you sent her a week ago and Lloyd is busy.

You open up your downloaded series and turn on the same show you’ve seen a dozen times before. Still, you’re not paying attention. You don’t think Lloyd is here for business. It really shouldn’t matter to you but it feels extra humiliating to have to wait outside while he does…whatever.

You turn off the show and let the car go silent. You adjust the seat to recline and close your eyes. You’re exhausted. All the chaos has got the best of you. 

Your phone vibes before you can get cozy. It’s Lloyd. You tap the preview so it expands.

‘Need lube. Ten minutes.’

You scoff. Is he serious? Your heart shrivels up as your stomach turns. He’s punishing you. Not because you did anything but because he can’t punish Thor. You’re so so tired.

You grip the wheel and stare at the phone. You wonder if he knows? Is this why he’s doing this? All these years, talking about his escapades, you just assumed it was his usual crassness. He talks like that with everyone. If he’s not boasting about killing, it’s fucking.

Either way, he knows what he’s doing. This is low. You are low.

You open up maps and search for a shop nearby. You fix the seat and pull out, driving numbly as you follow the automated voice directing you through the street. You park without paying attention and get out, nearly stumbling from the height of the SUV’s lift.

You stroll inside the shop with its blackened windows and enter with your head down. Your eyes scan furtively as you search for your goal. The task is made more difficult as the flesh toned silicon and shameless displays set you on fire.

“Hello, hon, can I help you find something?” The man behind the counter asks.

“Er,” you cross your arms, “lube.”

“Alrighty, are we looking for flavoured? Water-based? Oil?”

You blanch as he rounds the counter and strides towards a rack. You shrug and trail after him. You see a black bottle with cherries on it.

“That’s fine,” you pluck one off the shelf and quickly retreat to the counter. “Credit.”

You bring up your card on your phone and tap. The man behind the counter tries to break the tension but you’re not listening. You shove the receipt in your pocket and swipe up the bottle and leave.

Back in the truck, you have to hold back from screaming. What are you doing? You don’t need this shit. Why do you keep bending over backwards for Lloyd when you don’t have a chance? Why have you wasted a decade hoping for nothing?

Because, you don’t have any other options.

You turn the car on and roll out of the lot. You make your way back to the hotel in a haze. You check your phone. He sent the room number and nothing else. You walk into the hotel, ignoring the front desk clerk, and wait for the elevator. You step onto it and watch the doors shut.

You get off and follow the signs to the exact door plaque. You knock with your knuckles, your hand fisted around the bottle. You hear giggling. It’s more than one woman. Footsteps approach the other side.

A woman in an open robe opens the door. She has dark wavy hair and smeared lipstick. Lloyd growls in the background as you glimpse his naked ass.

“Hurry up, sugar tits,” he calls, “I’m starting to chafe.”

You shove the bottle at the woman and drop it. You don’t wait to see if she catches it. You spin on your heel and you’re gone. Your eyes fill with hot tears. Tears like acid. Tears of stupidity.

When you get back to the car, you keel over the steering wheel and heave. You don’t hate Lloyd. You hate yourself. You need to cut it out but somehow, you just can’t. He’s the worst person you know and yet, you want him so badly.

❤️‍🩹

As the sky darkens, you get out of the SUV to stretch your legs. You pace around and check the time. You don’t want to get back in the car. Instead, you wander down the street to the coffee kiosk you drove by earlier. You get an Americano and drag your feet back up the pavement.

You stand outside the SUV and sip from the cup. You chew the paper brim anxiously and look at your phone. Another car door opens and closes.

“Candy?” A man approaches.

You look up, the glow of your face making the stranger nothing more than a dark shadow, “not me,” you back up and press your phone to your chest.

“Oh, sorry,” he puts his hands up, “thought you were someone else.”

You shake your head as he turns and wanders off. You’re not entirely sure how he mistook you for a prostitute. That is what he thought, isn’t it? Candy? Sounds pretty tasty.

You get back in the SUV and lock the doors. You put your phone in the cup holder and it flashes. A message. You don’t bother reading it. You tap your fingers on the console and close your eyes, sipping from the warm cup.

A knock on the other window startles you. You turn on the light and see Lloyd peering in. He winks and tugs on the handle. You hit the locks and sit up.

He gets in and lets out a sigh, “ahh, I feel good.”

You don’t say a word as you slip your cup into the empty holder beside your phone. You start the car and press the gas. As you come to the exit, Lloyd yawns and stretches his arm between the seats, gripping yours above your shoulder.

“I’m fucking starving, let’s hit a burger joint,” he says as he rubs his stomach, “you don’t think I would be with how much I ate.”

He cackles and you bite down. You don’t understand it. He repulses you and yet there’s that sharp pang in your chest.

“You see the tits on Kasia? Fucking pert–”

You veer onto the next street and he hits the door with the motion, “hey, be fucking careful.” He shifts in his seat as he touches his crotch, “I’m tender.”

You sniff and pull into the drive through. You stop by the menu, “what do you want?”

“Get me some of that honey chicken and some rings. Extra honey sauce for the rings. Oh, and a sprite.”

“Sure,” you answer as you drive up to the speaker. You recite his order and the fuzzy response tells you to drive up to the window.

“What’s up? You’re not hungry?”

“I’m fine,” you insist.

“Aw, you on another diet,” he taunts, “bone broth?”

“No,” you answer flatly.

“I’m not sharing my rings,” he says.

“I don’t want any,” you insist.

“You’re fucking testy,” he accuses as you pay.

“I’m tired,” you utter and roll up to the pick-up.

“You’re tired? Fuck, my back is aching from all that thrusting.”

“Would you stop?” You snap before you can stop yourself, “I don’t want to hear about your dick anymore.”

He snorts and sits up straight, “excuse me, kid?”

“I don’t care,” you reach over and give a blunt thanks to the drive-thru worker as you take the paper bag. “Why don’t you shut up and eat?"

You shove the bag in his lap then take the cup and move your phone to plant it firmly in the holder. You follow through the lane and back onto the street. The silence is still and stolid around you.

“If you wanted to join in, you just had to say–”

“No,” you snip. You know he’s not serious, he’s teasing you. You’re a joke to him. “No, I don’t want that.” You grip the wheel tight and bite down until your jaw hurts, “I don’t want you.”

He inhales and blows it out heavily through his nose. The bag crinkles as he opens it and reaches inside, unleashing the smell of chicken that makes your stomach rage. You ignore the discomfort and focus on the road.

“Learn to take a fucking joke, kid,” he snickers, “maybe then, you’ll catch a dick or two.”

[armchairaleck]

Sadly for me I have come to the end of my writing ideas for one shot stories which means I am now faced with the unpalatable dilemma of trying to actually write and finish one of my long fic ideas, and this level of commitment fills with me with existential dread.. well actually I think other shit does that and I write to try and forget the yawning chasm that opens up beneath me, but oh well, never mind eh…

I currently have four multi-chapter WIP ideas all of which exist in various degrees of very unfinished states on my hard drive, none of which I’m certain I can complete, but even so, I will outline them below, I will ponder them, I will be totally open to any suggestions that probably no one has..

Viren Origin Fic

Okay so my TDP original idea was always to write Viren’s background and relationship with Harrow from around age 13/14 right up to the start of the show... the main problem with this is - all the known cannon stuff seems to squeeze everything into about 8-10 years in the middle, while leaving the decades on either side of his marriage up until the magma titan debacle like a blank void of stuff I would have to make up and get totally wrong - due to my blinkers with Viren, my desire to make the world a lot darker than it’s probably supposed to be, and my unshakable belief that Harrow and Viren’s friendship becomes a twisted and suffocating vine that sucks them both into the pit of their own poor moral morasses.. but is also all they have.. and it’s sad..

So the plus side of this - I just really kinda love to explore the Viren/Harrow, Viren & Kpp’Ar, Viren/Lissa relationships, along with Sarai… I also love the slow descent of Viren from carefree boy, to loving dad to errr… not loving dad?

Down side – I could start writing this and find it is totally blown out of the water by the new cannon that will appear this summer and that often derails me, because while I am absolutely able to misread a character and their motivations and level of evil intent, like a fucking pony prancing around a field on a spring day.. I can get oddly OCD about additions to story cannon that mean this could very easily get destroyed and then I would have utterly wasted my time… also there are A LOT of missing pieces to fill in..

Viravos dead souls fic

Urgh, following on from this.. I also thought I could round it off with some vaguely cannon Viren/Aaravos.. um.. two years dead lost souls fic.. that could also be a stand alone. So for some reason my brain did not go down the horny Aaravos emerging from the cocoon s3/s4 gap fic, that people might actually want to read, and instead went to the hey.. what if Aaravos had to give the traumatised soul of Viren two years of therapy, in space, while his body lies on earth stitched in stasis.. anyway, it’s basically a lot of moping and angst between a middle aged man regretting all his life choices and a near eternal elf who has been irreversibly psychologically damaged by 300 years of solitary confinement.. fun times? This is not.. I also want to give them an unrealistic level of softness here because I'm pretty sure Viren will get no happy ending and I want him to have something.. I’m a sap and I have to just deal with this sad fact..

The plus side of this - I guess.. oh.. I don’t even know if there is a plus side.. people might want to read it? Until they discover that for an E rated fic it will really offer them nothing at all.. just slightly traumatised bad sex.. well, haha, that’s all my E rated fic to be fair…

Downside - I cannot really write Viravos to save my life.. meh..

Viren/Kpp’Ar Gothic AU

Alright, I switched this to gothic for more historical leeway and more opportunities for brooding, crazy mansions, resurrection and ghosts in the attic.. anyway.. this is a time when humans have fucked the world up even more fully, when they have destroyed nearly all magical components and dark mages are a dying breed of unhinged self-destructive maniacs that make Jack Parsons look sane.. I have a vague outline for this stitched out that I will probably expound upon in a different post, it’s pretty dumb and deranged and exists mostly so I can write some Viren and Kpp’Ar together..

Plus side of this – I mean despite the fact I’m patchy on the historical details I do love me a bit of gothic - brusque anti-social Kpp’Ar energy, mixed with Viren channelling his inner hysterical lady vibes… (just kidding olden days hysterical girls with smelling salts, you could never be as overwrought as Viren gets in front of a mirror..)

Minus side – this is literally as ridiculous as it sounds, there would be A LOT of plot I would have to write to fill inbetween the main beats, and I would probably have to do a lot of research.. watching old black and white horror films and reading the first 100 pages of gothic novels that I’ll simply forget to finish.. sigh.. okay maybe I’ll do the research and forget the writing..

Cyberpunk AU

Welp.. despite the last one, this is probably the most insane of all my ideas and exists solely because I wanted to ship Viren with Ibis… What? Why did I want to do this? I have literally no idea, except that often for some reason my brain will think.. oh.. I wonder what would happen if those two completely incompatible characters that have no way to actually get together in cannon met up and had a fuckin ridiculous and unlikely relationship that literally no one else in the whole world would care about?

So despite the fact that I know I don’t have a quarter of the world building chops necessary to actually write this, I have thought about it quite a lot..

Dumb things this AU contains:

A physical border between human kingdoms and Xadia where armies are constantly lined up in a don’t blink first cold war scenario…

An online version of the breach that separates the shitty human commodore 64 8-bit level of technology from the apple mac in 100 years sleek levels of advancement the Xadians have achieved..

That humans, god bless their ingenuity, have discovered a way to hook into, in order to try and steal the technology of the five nexus powers and boost themselves out of the depressing state of their own existence..

Defection from Xadia to the human kingdoms by various elves who have grown tired of the 1984 levels of state surveillance imposed on them by the dragons.. and who now work with the humans as primal jumpers, i.e. those who can get into the breach naturally..

Dark jumpers, who are social pariahs with both humans and elves and destroy everything they touch.. as per cannon..

Zero magic in the human kingdoms because they’re so awful of course they’ve destroyed it all, they rely on the dirt and smog of fossil fuels, while Xadia is renewable and magical all the way, but also under the grip of dictatorial state control.. seems like you just can’t have it all eh..

Just the whisper of Aarovos existing out there somewhere in the online breach like Jeff Bridges in Tron Legacy…

Weird pseudo sex pollen stuff that I would really have to remove to stop a decent into pure insanity..

Um.. drugs.. this is cyberpunk and the ONLY cyberpunk type stuff I have read is either by Philip K Dick or is Neuromancer… which means I figure cyber punk just has to involve a heinous amount of drug taking, which is probably inappropriate for a kids cartoon fic..

Alright, this makes total sense in my head but I am aware that trying to write it down makes it sound pretty nuts..

Plus sides – none?

Minus sides – I think those have all be listed above… so I should probably leave this here…

Alright, that's all I have thought about, which is probably for the best..

Honestly I do not know what to do here, maybe work on everything concurrently and finish nothing.. maybe do nothing.. maybe try and learn to draw better so I don’t have to worry so much about writing and plot and pacing and world building.. maybe wait for the sweet inspiration for a one shot of below 15k words to hit me..

..and yet I feel compelled to write SOMETHING.. which sorta sucks..

[imrryr]

“post the last few lines of your WIP" meme, courtesy of @stealthnoodle. Anyone who wants to do this absolutely should! :)

So I can’t post the last few lines because this doc I’m working on today is a giant mess of completed scenes, unconnected paragraphs, and random sentences that I typed in the vain hope that I can fit them in somewhere later, but here are two as yet unconnected bits of a scene from a Mass Effect Femshep/Jack story I’ve been working on for the past 84 years.

For context, it takes place on the Citadel in a sliver of time just before Priority: Earth. Shepard, Jack, and Zaeed have joined a tournament at the Armax arena while the Normandy is being refitted. The hard part has been trying to keep a humorous tone while all sentient life in the galaxy is being methodically wiped out by the Reapers ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

She’d never liked hospitals. Who did? Lots of judgmental doctors and nurses telling you where to go and what to do and who not to throw a shockwave at. Like sorry, but that fucking Cerberus trooper they had under guard fucking deserved it. Recognized that asshole from Grissom…

Anyway, this time she kept her hands firmly clasped behind her back and patiently ignored everyone who looked at her sideways until she found the door she was searching for.

And there was Zaeed, lying on a bed with his injured foot propped up on a pillow. Every free inch of his room, the wall, the tables, the chairs, was covered in bright flowers. The sight brought a big smile to her lips. It had to be Shepard’s doing.

He lay there, looking out the window and seemingly oblivious to the utter absurdity of his surroundings.

Unable to find a place to sit, Jack settled for the edge of the bed.

“Hey, careful,” he grumbled. He slid his foot, protected inside an enormous cast, as far away from Jack as possible.

She would’ve apologized, but eh...

Instead, Jack nodded in lieu of a greeting as she looked out on the Presidium. Hospitals still sucked, but she had to admit that Huerta Memorial had a pretty sweet view. The window made up one entire side of the room, and the gentle curving arc of the Presidium stretched out before her.

A minute passed. Things got quiet. She’d spoken to Zaeed alone a few times back in the good old suicide mission days. He’d wisely kept his mouth shut that first time she’d come on board – said nothing about her tattoos or what she chose to wear, and never once asked about any of the more prickly bits of her past life (i.e. any of it).

All taken together, it had elevated him to a spot on her ‘only kill if he gets in my way’ list.

When it was just the two of them, they tended to talk about… well, take a guess. It wasn’t horticulture. She frowned, scratching the back of her hand. Today was clearly proving to be a very strange day. “When’s the operation?”

Zaeed grumbled. “Tomorrow morning. Told them it’d better be over by nightfall. Don’t want to miss the match.”

“Really excited to see us lose, huh?”

“You’d better not. I’ve got fifty thousand credits on that match. Who’s replacing me anyway?”

“Some asari chick. Supposed to be famous on Thessia or something, I don’t know.”

“Huh. She any good?”

Jack shrugged. “If she isn’t, Shepard and I will just have to carry the weight ourselves. Nothing we haven’t done before.”

Zaeed grunted. “You’re real goddamn hilarious, you know that?”

(snip)

“Can I ask you something?”

His eyes – well, the good one at least – went wide as if that innocuous question alone had blown his mind.

Still, Jack pressed on. There wasn’t, after all, anyone else she could think to put the question to. “If you asked Shepard out, where would you take her?”

Surprisingly, the answer came without a second’s hesitation. “Easy. ‘This One’s House of Plentiful Amusements. It’s that new Hanar comedy club down on Zakeera Ward.’”

“A comedy club? Really?”  

“Yeah, I figure once I asked her out, she wouldn’t stop laughing for a good three or four hours. Might as well take her someplace appropriate, right?”

She let out a long breath. What was this, Give Sarcastic Advice to Jack Day? Gritting her teeth, she asked, “And what if it was me?”

“Uh…” he visibly swallowed, “No offense, but you’re not my type.”

Fuck you, Zaeed. “No, where would I take her out?”

“Oh.” His brow furrowed. “Don’t know? Someplace with a lot of goddamned explosions, I guess. Or, judging from a year of experience, just follow her around for a day and the explosions will come to you.”

Jack hummed in thought. True enough, she thought.

“You know,” he continued, “these painkillers must be really damned powerful, because I could swear that you’re asking me for relationship advice.”

Ugh. “Forget I said anything.”

Zaeed ignored her. “Everyone’s gone fucking respectable. Kasumi’s working on the Crucible, Garrus is a military advisor, and look at you, I bet you haven’t crashed a space-station into a moon in at least a month.”

Jack rolled her eyes. “No, but I’ve thought about it,” she said with a laugh. As far as the Citadel was concerned it might be an improvement. The trick would be finding a large enough moon.

“And me, I’m sittin’ here with my thumb up my ass.”

“It’s probably too late to be having a mid-life crisis, Zaeed.”

“It’s this goddamned bed,” he said, grunting as he tried to sit up. “Gives a man too much time to think. Damned nurse took away my omni-tool. He said ‘Towers of Hanoi‘ was going to give me an aneurysm.”

“Hmm. I’ll give Kasumi a call, maybe she can hook you up with something.”

He nodded, relieved. “Look,” he said, that good eye fixed on her. “I think you should do whatever keeps the team together. When Shepard puts something together, nothing in galaxy can stop it. Only way I see us winning this fucking war.” He stretched, adding in a yawn for good measure. “Besides, I’m hoping if Shepard lets me stick around long enough she’ll hook me up with a pension plan.”

Yeah, thanks, Zaeed. The sad thing was she could picture Shepard fighting the Alliance to set something like that up. A second suicide mission to rival the first.

“Haven’t had this much fun in years. Blowing shit up and feeling like a hero afterwards? Not used to that. Feels good, you know what I mean?”

Jack sighed. Yeah. It wasn’t the worst feeling in the world.

She could only think of one thing that would make it better.

[terpernoctem]

hi pals

do you know what time it is?

it's time for our ✨monthly personal post ✨ show of hands, who's excited?

i said WHO'S EXCITED

okay never mind, so it rained for about the entire month of january, not even kidding. it rained and it rained and it kept raining for days on end.

see, i left Ireland for a specific reason (burn out excluded): breaking news, i know, but it rained a lot over there. i come back home and it's the most it's ever rained since 2015, people.

do you comprehend?

i think maybe the universe is trying to tell me something

anyways

so it rained a lot and i felt like i was about to rot all the way but i didn't and in fact i (1), got into yoga again, (2) wrote almost 10k, (3) took my very first driving lessons (i'm comically terrible at it but eh), (4) applied to things!

isn't that something??

idk

i don't feel any less lost or you know, useful in any way but it's a start, innit

i've definitely had a couple of bad nights, and what's funny when you live with your parents as an adult is that you still cannot talk to them about serious stuff without feeling like a teenage waste of space? or at least that's how i feel—and i recognize entirely it doesn't come from my parents, god no, they've been great and really supportive, but ughhhh.

what is it about this whole situation that makes me age backwards (and not in a good way)??

in other, completely related news, my birthday is a couple of weeks away, which is always kind of the time i typically freak out about it (last year i booked a last minute trip to edinburgh for that very reason). then i calm down and start to get excited about it.

question is: with the big 30 looming over, will i get excited at all about it this year?

mmh.

it's a daunting thought. let's not—let's put it aside, shall we?

truly, a part of me still can't believe how lucky i am to be able to stay with my parents here on the island—it's genuinely something i didn't think i'd be able to do for a long time— and it's objectively great, i mean, it's summer (well, you know, as summer as it can get), i've got time to myself, i've got my loved ones close.

yet another part of me longs for a more, idk, exciting? life. i might be repeating myself but i feel like i haven't seen everything i'd like to see yet. been toying loosely with the idea of going the self-entrepreneur path, but ugh—

truth is, i can't bear to be tied down yet.

on this week's list: sort out the library situation (mom's library is—oh don't get me started, but i'm gonna fix this), get serious about studying for driver's test, finish drafting my main wip, find a life purpose.

[teddyeyeseddie]

A New Set of Eyes: Chapter 1

Pairing:Mechanic! Dean x Reader 

WC: 1,621

Warnings: None (will change as series progresses)

A/N: This is my first time ever posting anything I’ve written. I don’t know anyone in the SPN community so this is completely unbetad. I love getting lost in writing and have so many WIPs that I want to get out and ideas that I’m itching to write. I hope you all like this and if anyone wants to offer any help, I’d love you forever!

That taste 

All I ever wanted

All I ever needed

Just too dumb to surrender

She shakes Like a mornin railway checking me out

Someone on her shoulder

“Charles listen, I gotta go. They’re calling me up into the Bay.” Y/N huffed out as she threw her car into drive. “Just- think about it okay? You can’t mope over this forever.” Her friend let out, concern lacing her voice. She let out a huff and hung up her phone, rolling down her window as a crotchety old man approached the driver side door. “Whaddya need.” He huffed out leaning up against her car.

“Bobby! I got this one, go take a break. And for Pete’s sake stop trying to scare away these poor girls, lookin at you is already scary enough.” Looking past the older man, a younger, much more handsome man approached. His blue coveralls pulled down around his waist, revealing a grease stained white t-shirt that stretched across his chest in a way that Y/N could only describe as obscene.

Bobby turned on his heels and sauntered away to a room labeled as “Employees Only”. The man reached Y/N’s car quickly and bent at the waist, coming down to her level.

“What are we doin’ for ya today sweetheart?” Y/N looked up at the man, admiring the way the crinkles around his eyes moved as he smiled, wishing she could sit there all day and map out the freckles that danced across his face. 

“Uh- an oil change.” The man nodded his head and stood up.

 “Do you mind if I open your door so I can scan you in and show you to our waiting area?” Y/N nodded, quickly gathering her purse and phone.

The man opened her door and offered his hand, helping her out of the car. “Watch your step, there's no telling what these degenerates leave lying around. I’m pretty sure they’re in the breakroom right now staging a mutiny.”

 Y/N let out a chuckle, looking up at the man. “Well you are making them work on New Year’s Eve..” 

The man's lips turned up into a grin, “Says the one getting their oil changed on New Year’s Eve. ‘sides we’re closing up at 3. More than enough time for them to start drinking.”

Y/N followed closely behind the man, walking through the door he was holding open for her with his boot. The door closed softly behind them as the man shuffled behind Y/N, his hand lightly brushing against her back as he made his way towards the counter.

“Alright- is it gonna be conventional or synthetic?” The man asked as he typed away on the computer in front of him.

 Y/N cocked her head to the side, “What?” The man looked up from the screen, an amused look on his face.  

“Like, do you want conventional oil or synthetic oil? Conventional is usually cheaper.” Y/N still had no idea what the correct answer was, feeling stupid that she didnt come prepared. 

“To be honest, I’ve never taken my car in for an oil change. Dad always used to change it at home. Then once his hands got too crooked to work on cars, my boyfriend would take it to get changed.” The man nodded his head and looked back down at his computer.

 “Well I’m 99% sure you probably used conventional last time, but uh has your boyfriend ever brought it to us before? I could look him up and see if he has an account with us. That way we can see what we used last time.” Dread settled in the pit of Y/N’s stomach as she replied, “Yeah he usually brought it here, it should be under the last name Scottsman.” The man raised his eyebrows, 

“Landed you a Scottsman eh?” flashing her a sarcastic grin.

“Well we service Ethan and Troy’s cars so which one is the lucky guy?” Y/N fiddled with the hem of her coat, “Troy- he was.” The man cocked his head to the side this time, his turn to be confused. “Was lucky. We uh, broke up a few months back.” 

The expression on the mechanic's face softened as he pulled up her Exes account, “Shit, I'm sorry darlin.” She flashed him the softest smile she could muster up, endeared by the way “darlin” rolled so smoothly off his tongue. “No worries.”

“Jo!” The mechanic's voice boomed, snapping Y/N out of the trance she found herself stuck in as he looked through Troy’s account.

 Sue her okay? It was bad enough the man’s legs and ass filled out his coveralls so well. Could it bother him to use a stool or something? Anything to stop him from leaning over the counter, his backside pushed out. The way his forearms flexed as he rifled through papers, how quickly his fingers moved over the keyboard of the computer in front of him. All of it sending Y/N’s mind to a place it definitely should not be going. She doesn’t even know his name for Christ's sake.

The man straightened up letting out an annoyed huff as he went to yell again for whoever he needed, “Harve-” He was cut off by a blonde woman rounding the corner, “I’m right here De, there is no reason to be yelling so damn loud. What do you want?” 

The man, (De? Is that what she called him?) rolled his eyes and handed over some paperwork to the woman. “I gotta get started on Miss-” This time he cut himself off, looking at you with a glimpse of wonder on his face. 

“Y/N, Y/N Y/LN” He smiled at her, those crinkles she had already grown fond of in just a short 10 minutes, back on full display, making Y/N weak in the knees. “I gotta get started on Miss Y/N’s car so I can get this pretty lady sent on her way. Can you handle finishing this all up?” The blonde woman nodded, “Sure thing boss.”

De flashed her a quick smile and began pulling his coveralls back up over his torso, sticking his arms back in the sleeves which made the already tight t-shirt even tighter across his broad chest. The thin material stretched so far she could see a glimpse of a tattoo on his chest. God she was so fucking done for. 

“Oh and get the info from Troy Scottsman’s account transferred over to a new account for her. I just need the info on her car moved over, nothing from his other cars.” He finished zipping up his coveralls and smoothed out the collar. Jo nodded her head and Y/N gave him a silent “Thank you” as he made his way back out into the garage.

Finishing up and paying took no time at all, Jo retreating back to what Y/N could only assume was the office area of the garage. Y/N sat down in one of the chairs, looking through the small window on the door. She could perfectly see De as he worked on her car. Checking to make sure all the lights worked, checking the tire pressure, all the simple tasks he has had to of done thousands of times. He disappeared for a while, disappointing Y/N because she could no longer ogle over the man. She looked down at her phone, mindlessly scrolling through social media to pass the time.

The sound of the door leading out to the shop opened, causing Y/N to look up. De was standing before her, much dirtier than he had been before. The whiteness of his teeth starkly contrasting against the dark smudges littering his face. 

“You got a little-” Y/N said as she pointed at her own face. The mechanic laughed, holding up his hands which were also dirty. 

“Yeah, had a little bit of a mishap down there, got into a fight with the oil pan. Haven’t done that in years. Must be something about working on a pretty lady’s car that makes me nervous.” Y/N blushed as she stood up to follow De back out to her car. He opened up the door for her and she slid back into the front seat.

He leaned down bracing himself on the door, “Well, I will see you in 6 months or 5,000 miles. Whichever comes first.”

 Y/N nodded her head and started her car. “Well I will see you then, I’ll make sure to ask for you..” Y/N hoped that her trailing off would be an invitation for the pretty stranger to tell her his full name. Not that she’s weird or anything. She wouldn’t go home and search for him on facebook, who would do that?

“Ask for Dean when you come back. Dean Winchester.”  He pointed at the chest of his coveralls, a “Winchester’s Auto and Body” logo standing out against the navy piece of clothing, his name delicately embroidered underneath.  

“Dad left me the place when he retired so I’m always here since I kinda own the place. My brother does all the logistical stuff. I’m just the brute who keeps the customers happy. Besides, it's important a man knows how to use his hands. I wouldn’t last a day in an office.” Dean pushed himself back off her door, “Have a Happy New Year sweetheart, be safe tonight.” 

Y/Ns cheeks were as red as the paint on the vintage car in the bay next to her. She put her own in reverse as Dean took several steps back and waved her off, never looking away until she was safely out on the road.

[kaleidodreams]

2022 Fanfic In Review

Since I did the whole Fanfic Review thing, I'm just going to do one of those year-end questionnaires I usually fill out.

1. List of fics completed this year

Yuri!!! On Ice Welcome To The Family The Language of Music The Morning After In The Closet The Baby Question Everything Changes Hot and Bothered Before The Final Such A Fool Never Too Old Beautiful A Cup Of Good Cheer A New Home

Sailor Moon (Im)perfect Proposal Tell Me A Secret Pinkie Promise Welcome Home Forevermore Adding Some Spice

Plus, Eternal Dream, my still-unposted fic for the Drops of Moonlight anniversary zine.

2. Number of words written: 62,797 which is a bit disappointing since I had like a 100,000 more words last year, but, eh, if you include WIPs and the zine fic that hasn't been posted yet, the number would be bigger.

3. Your most popular fic: I'd say it might as well be a tie between "Welcome To The Family" (100 kudos) and "In The Closet" (99 kudos), but WTTM has six comments to ITC's three, so I guess "Welcome To The Family" is technically the most popular.

4. Your personal fav: "The Baby Question", if I have to choose.

5. Your fav scene: Probably the part in "The Baby Question" when Yuuri and Viktor have just decided to have a baby and are making out on the couch. I just love the little exchange they have where Yuuri reminds Viktor that he can't actually get him pregnant, and Viktor's like, "Don't ruin things with your science and logic!" I'm also rather fond of the dinner scene between Otabek, Yuri, and their toddler son, Lev, in "Never Too Old".

6. A fic or scene that challenged you: Oh, the first version of "Adding Some Spice" was definitely a challenge! I wrote it for the SM Quickies event, and 1,000 words is simply not enough to write an engaging threesome. I did get a chance to expand it later for Sailor Moon Smutember, though, which helped. Also, "A New Home" was the first time I wrote a fic in first person in at least a decade, so I was definitely out of practice!

7. A line of writing you’re proud of: Well, this is more a passage than a line, but this is the part I was talking about in Question #5.

One kiss, of course, inevitably turned into two, then three. By the fourth, Yuuri had fallen on his back against the seat cushions, Viktor's lips journeying down his neck while his warm hands found their way underneath Yuuri's sweatshirt.

"Vitya…what are…you…doing?" Yuuri asked in between increasingly feverish kisses. "I thought…you were…tired?"

"Got a…second wind." Breathing heavily, Viktor propped himself up and grinned mischievously as he looked down at Yuuri beneath him. "Besides, if we're going to have a baby, there's no better time than the present to start trying, right?"

Yuuri laughed. "Didn't we go over this earlier? You can't get me pregnant!"

"Yuuuuuri!" He collapsed on top of Yuuri, burying his face in Yuuri's sweatshirt. "Don't spoil the fun with your science and logic!"

8. A comment that touched you: All of them! (Well, except for the one that called me "manga-toxic" for writing Reinako, and a couple of other troll-y FF.net reviews.)

9. Something that inspired your writing: @soulfulweaver's beautiful Mamotoki fanart was the inspiration behind "Pinkie Promise".

11. Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc): Definitely hosting Sailor Moon Rare Pair Week! It was more successful than I dreamed it would be.

12. Do you have any writing goals for next year?: I'd really like to at least start posting the pre-canon JJBek fic I've been working on for the past couple of years. Also, just write more in general, I guess?

[silent-mysteriousguy]

I saw another post on @postalninja doing this meme, thought i would join in on the fun!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

10 and counting! 9 for octopath traveler (not counting the one disowned fic) and 1 for the Grishaverse

2) What's your total AO3 word count?

37 702

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

As anyone who ever spared even a glance at my tumblr account knows, I love Octopath. Its my comfort game and is definetly one of my favourite games of all time. On the other hand, the grishaverse fic was a contest fic. I love that book a lot as well but it never came close to my damned love for that game

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

About women’s problems, lack of sleep and bluntness: Oh, that lil thing. It was my first fanfic I had written in years! It doesnt have the best writing but it does have a special place in ma heart

A Diary’s Importance: My ongoing longfic. Its as of date not completed, but its going somewhere eh! Luckily finally got a beta, so progress is there folks. But alas, currently on vacay so writing is out of the question.

Why phones and the 8 travelers should not be combined: A silly textfic I wrote to get myself out of writersblock. Believe me, I thirst for textfics I NEED MORE.

Sharp, stabby things: Well, if it wasnt obvious enough, im halfblind. Meaning I am actually unable to see shit from my right eye. So sense of depth does not exist. So when I discovered Therion would likely have the same struggles with his right eye I decided that damnit I was going to write something about it because the struggles of being halfblind are real folks.

About the practicallity of not being a caster: A little fic I always wanted to do of what a conversation between Cyrus, who got so many magic spells its practicallity his only thing, and Olberic, who got no magic at all, about magic would look like.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Fuck yeah I do! I love comment so so much. They give me motivation to write and shut the inner Bruno up (if ya get the meaning)

6) What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm, hard one here. Most of the angst in my fic is very much in the middle with the end being happier as I sadly do have a soul. But, my vote goes to a friends betrayal. The fic was basically about Olberics thoughtprocess after the fall of hornburg and what lead him to his situation in beginning of the game. As you can guess, it is very angsty.

7) What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Many! But, the vote goes to my beloved sharp stabby things. But that can just be my seretonin brain.

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you've written?

Not yet… (but i have an idea)

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Some passive agressive comments, but not really hate.

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Nope. Huns, I am ace as fuck i cant even read it.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

as a polyglot I could do a fine I will do it myself moment, but i havent.

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not as off today, but I am open to the idea of it.

14) What's your all time favourite ship?

Oh boy thats such a tough question. On one hand, gimli x legolas from LOTR will always have a special place in my heart as it was the ship that actually got me into fandom culture. But… if you spared a glance at my ao3 account you know my love for Cyrus and Olberic. I mean my two comfort characters in a relationship? Thats the stuff man thats the good stuff.

15) What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

STUPID A LEGAL DISPUTE. I LOVE THE IDEA OF IT BUT THE WORDS MAN THE WORDS.

16) What are your writing strengths?

I think it would be describing emotions and thoughtprocesses.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

Grammar, no doubt. I mean its not that 9 year old bad but my use of commas is through the damned roof.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Ahum, as someone who has multiple conlanguages and is a polyglot I adore them. Just wait yall asses till i get a solid idea of what acient hornburgian sounds like and its over for yall. IT WILL BE IN DIARYS IMPORTANCE OR I DONT DESERVE MY SCRIVINER.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Suprisingly, it was Percy Jackson. A Solangelo fic to be precise. Oh i cringe at it every time I see it.

20) What's your favourite fic you've written?

Brand’s Thunder,  no doubts about it. It was the transition to my longer fics and I impressed myself with my own writing which was new.

[tottwritesfanfic]

That time again...

Hey folks! Just stopping by for another one of those “why nothing’s happening” updates.

Except...I mean, I’m kinda scared to say anything in case I jinx it, but...I think there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Dropping a cut here because it got long, so if you want a full Tott update, click through!

The last six months have been wild, and I mean that in the “no good very bad lots and lots of stress” sense. It’s hit the point where my own health was on the brink, and I had to pull back from everything. 

It got to the point where yesterday was Odaiba day and I didn’t even have the mental energy to reblog things, let alone seriously entertain the fantasy of posting a fic update. 

But! The hope part. My son has a diagnosis - the one I was expecting, tbh - and the good news is that the consultant sees no reason he can’t get back to a completely normal life. He’s just got to do some hardcore physio for the next few months, and then maintain that at a steadier level which, as a fellow bookworm, is still a solid ask. But no meds, no invasive procedures. Come September, we’re expecting him to go back to school just as normal.

My daughter, too, has improved. Not least of all because the school that was causing a chunk of her issues has been bid a fond farewell. We were very fond of the farewell, in fact. And we’re not out of the woods yet, mind, but I’m optimistic that transitioning to a new school which actually has the resources and training to help instead of hinder...well. Roll on September, eh? 

Overall - and I’m trying not to, but this is just me - I guess I’m putting a lot of pressure on September to deliver something good. If my children go back to school as planned and settle in well, that gives me time to recharge my creative batteries. If I can recharge my creative batteries for real this time...Man. There are SO MANY fics I want to update. So many fics where I’m like...halfway or two thirds of the way to the end of a chapter, meaning I COULD update them. 

BUT! As I face the possible end of what is actually the third Complete Creative Shutdown I have faced in my life, I am very conscious of not wanting to boomerang. It’s too easy for someone (me) to push themselves too hard, and over-commit to this project or that, only to end up right back at square one. As with any recovery, it needs pacing and realism. I’ve tried being hard on myself, and it didn’t go anywhere good. This time, I’m taking a kinder approach.

That means not diving straight back into all the big and meaty projects which have, unfortunately, been on the back burner for the longest time. I’m going to  be starting with smaller stuff, wrapping up short fics which are all but finished anyway. It’s my hope, my real hope, that by thinning out the WIP herd, I’ll be better able to focus on the monster projects. 

It’s always been my full intention to finish all of my fics. None of them are actually abandoned. I would do the honourable thing and announce it if they were. But realistically...there’s a lot of work here. And it’s probably going to be a matter of years, not months, before I get to most of them. Realistically, I may yet have to make that hard, final choice at some stage. But, you know. I hope not. I don’t plan to. That said, I also understand that for some, the wait has probably already been long enough. 

It was never my intention for this stuff to happen. Honestly, in all the doom-mongering thoughts that I’ve had over the years, I kinda figured it would be my own health wiping me out, not my children’s. But like it or not, that’s a chance I signed up for, long ago. It’s one of the commitments you have to be willing to make if you’re going to be a parent. 

But hey. This is the good news conclusion. And much as there’s still a ways for me to go, I’m really looking forward to my return to writing fanfiction. I can’t wait to share my stories with you all once more. 

[causeiwasinlove]

all my fics on signofthetmies !

updated last 14 apr 2021 // arranged from oldest to newest (as per posting date)

⁺ ☁⋆ make it with you | COMPLETE (famous harry, non famous louis)

“So many rumors are going around that you’re already making your second album, is this true?”

Harry smiles, “Ehm,” He coughs, obviously teasing. “He’s stalling, folks! Should we take this as a yes?” Nick asks.

Suddenly, someone comes in and hands Nick a cup of coffee, this first thing Harry sees is his tattoos, “Here ya go,” said-someone whispers. Nick grabs the cup and gives the guy a thumbs up and mouths a small “Thank you.”

Harry didn’t realize he was staring until Nick turns around and sees his lips parted a bit. “So?”

“I was going to say I haven’t found any inspiration yet but I think it’s safe to say I will be writing it right after this interview.” He jokes, dimples all out.

or Harry Styles goes to BBC Radio 1 to promote his new self-titled album, plans to take a break for more songwriting. Enter Louis Tomlinson.

⁺ ☁⋆ three for how i love you | COMPLETE (uni au)

Louis writes Harry letters, three letters to be exact. One for each night they spend alone.

Louis sits beside Harry on the bench and puts his leg on top of Harry’s, “Didn’t sleep too well last night.” Louis admits, wearing Harry’s hoodie which he demanded first thing in the morning. Harry wraps his arms around him and presses kisses unto his hair. “I wrote you these,” Louis grabs the letters he wrote and presses it unto Harry’s palm, folded lazily. “Read it? M’kay?”

or

Louis and Harry are uni students, Harry signs them up for a 3-day retreat, they struggle to sleep alone. Louis has been hiding a ring.

⁺ ☁⋆ drowning in cold water | WIP 10/? (exes to lovers)

“Yeah but, we were so young, Lou.” Harry exasperates.

“Don’t call me ‘Lou’,” Louis rolls his eyes, “and whatever Harry, yeah we were young but you can’t pretend we weren’t willing to give up everything for each other.”

‘Like we still do now’ goes unsaid but Harry swears he hears it.

or

Harry and Louis dated when they were twenty and twenty-two but broke up. Two years later, everything is unresolved, but everything they left remains the same.

⁺ ☁⋆ loving you is my truth | COMPLETE (high school au, zouis brothers)

Harry looks at him again, he’s just so attractive. He doesn’t know how to help himself. “Oi mate,” Niall holds his jaw, “think you might be drooling, eh?” Harry pushes his hand off and shakes his head, “If you’re crushing on Louis so bad, why don’t you just ask for his number?”

“You really think it’s that easy?”

Well, realistically, it should be, but aside from Harry’s growing crush on Louis Tomlinson, there’s another big problem, he’s Zayn Malik’s stepbrother.

Who is Zayn Malik, you might ask? His best mate.

⁺ ☁⋆ you’ll wait for me only | COMPLETE | Written for BLFF 2020 (alpha harry, omega louis, accidental bonding)

Harry nips at the bondmark on Louis’ neck, Louis’ hands go to his hips, grounding him. He allows himself this, knowing that his Omega needs it too. Harry pulls back, “Go on a date with me.” He rushes out, looking at Louis’ eyes.

Louis laughs and shakes his head. “No, Louis, I’m serious. We’ve bonded for life anyway, might as well try.” Louis looks at him, “You’ve been thinking about this a lot.” Louis points out, Harry nods. “Okay.” Louis says and walks out leaving Harry. “Okay what?!”

_______________________

Prompt 15: Omega Louis is a lawyer that worked on omega rights cases. Alpha Harry is a corporate lawyer. Louis and Harry used to be childhood archenemies, until Louis moved to another school and they never saw each other again. Now, they’re both adults that happen to work in the same place. They behave like children and still share a mutual dislike. Both travel to work together for a case. One night they both bond accidentally. Slowly but surely, they fall in love. Enemies to lovers!

⁺ ☁⋆ i'm at your mercy now (and i'm ready to begin) | COMPLETE (soulmate au, identifying marks — tattoos)

“Does it bother you that people ask about your mark?”

Harry looks at him seriously, he shakes his head. “I prefer to keep it private of course,” Louis nods, “but I guess it comes with the job. You lose all privacy the moment your name is in flashing lights.”

Louis shrugs, “True. There’s always this one thing you keep to yourself though.” Harry frowns, getting the underlying thing Louis is trying to say. “That was your soulmark for you.” He points out.

Louis shrugs, “It’s a soulmark for everyone.” He corrects, “It’s everybody’s personal secret until they choose to share it with someone else.”

Louis Tomlinson writes poetry even in casual conversation. Who would have thought?

or

where Louis' soulmark was leaked, Harry keeps his private. They're both famous popstars. Louis is waiting for his soulmate, Harry has a feeling it's him but Louis is completely oblivious.

⁺ ☁⋆ no i love you’s, no goodnight’s | COMPLETE (divorce au, established relationship, happy ending)

Louis rubs his back with soap, leaving kisses everywhere because this is the person he chose, the person he’ll spend the rest of his life with, even if it’s just going to be memories. They promised each other everything and that matters even if they separate, they’re always going to have parts of each other.

They bathe each other silently, kissing each other’s shoulders, Louis kisses his knuckles as an apology and a thank you to what his husband did for him. Louis dries them off and grabs clothes for them when they’re done. They head to bed without a single word.

No I love you’s, no goodnight’s.

or

Harry and Louis deal with the biggest obstacle of their marriage. They fight using all the fight that’s in them.

[anokaiwritingblog]

Oh hey. I forgot I have a writing blog. Here’s a WIP of my short story collection for my creative writing class. It’s a WIP for one of my major ideas I want to do.

Once every century, it is said that the planets of the solar system align perfectly. In a perfect row, they cast upon the ultimate shadow upon one another; opening the gates to other realms far from our own. It was said that the fallen god rose from this gate and set his sights on destroying our system just like his own. But where evil went, goodness was sure to follow. Out from this gate came the Holy Maiden and her summoned knight. Together, they sealed away the fallen god and cast light back into our system. The two understood that the battle was far from over. “Catch a fish for a man, he would eat for a day. Teach the man how to fish, and he eats for a lifetime.” Despite their love for each other, the Holy Maiden and her summoned knight agreed to go on separate pilgrimages to spread their teachings. The Holy Maiden remained in our system and founded us, the Holy Order, to pass on her teachings and traditions to future Holy Maidens. Her summoned knight, on the other hand, returned into the gate and spread his words to the numerous realms behind the gate. With their sacrifice, we have prevented the fallen god’s awakening over a thousand times…​

“Ay yo… so, like… cool lore but like… pretty cringy not gonna lie. You lost me at the “aligning of the planets” bit. It went from horoscope bullshit to cliched pre-teen novels with a bit of a JRPG elements in there,” a voice spoke out, breaking the breathtaking spell that weighed heavy in this beautifully painted dream.

The wind blew soft through the empty courtyard as no one said anything. In a walled-off garden stood seven bodies, each facing each other in a circle with a pond that separated each figure. Each stood on their own path that was surrounded by the water on each side but behind. A mini pier if you wish to imagine. The water was clear, yet the light was too blinding to see past the surface. All seven figures were outlined well enough to show that they were all women, yet a shadow covered their faces to remain a mystery to one another. Sitting above all this was a pink-haired woman. Her hair was braided back and looked far too youthful to be talking like an elder. Her prink eyes scanned each woman to search for the back talker, a glare like a dagger and on edge. Despite that, she kept an icy façade.

“Who cut me off? Head Nun of the Holy Order?” the pink-haired woman spoke up, looking down at the crowd of women below her.

“Uh, me.”

Slicing through the air, the Head Nun’s eyes locked on to the woman who spoke up; her hand raised slightly while maintaining the image of being smaller than what she was. Her limbs were tightly held together like a defensive turtle yet flashing a Chester cat grin in reception of the attention. “No offense lady but I felt like I heard this exact same plot with some gacha game I played last month. Can we just skip all this tutorial nonsense to get to the fuckin’ point already?” the woman continued, her blunt and straightforward words not matching the lowkey appearance she was trying to give off.

“Oh! You played Fate/Grand Order too? I’ve been trying to pull Gilgamesh for my team for months,” the woman on the right of the back talker chimed in. Though she was covered in shadow, the third party was animatedly clapping her hands together in excitement that she found a companion who played the same game.

“Eh, I stopped after two months. The drop rates are insane for that game and you don’t get enough of the in-game currency. I prefer Epic Seven since you actually win the gamble in summoning a strong hero-“

“Silence!”

Slamming her hand against the armrest of her chair, the Head Nun demanded all attention back onto her. The sound of flesh against marble echoing throughout this supernatural courtyard. Zeroing in out the outlier, the Head Nun sized her up before letting out a scoff. Receiving this judgmental look was a young woman of 21 years. If she never stood by herself, she might have blended in with a crowd with her rather ordinary looks. Brown hair, matching brown eyes, and a pair of glasses. Tell that description to any sketch artist and they would draw any other woman. One in five women look exactly like her. Was that statistically correct? Of course not, but most would believe it these days.

The nun craned her neck over these seven girls, peering down with arrogance. Who would have thought that the bold one in this group wasn’t the goth but this… loser. Despite not being affected by the spell, the rebel was overseen like the shadow of her chair or the tree’s. “Are you done speaking over me?”

“No, actually. You aren’t hurrying the fuck up and you rudely cut me off from having a pleasant and stimulating conversation from my neighbor here,” the woman said, “If you aren’t going to tell me what my horoscope is, I don’t want to hear another hour of lore.” From her sides, the woman could hear the reactions from the other girls who listen in to this back and forth. Some ‘tsk’ from her disrespectful actions while others acted a bit shocked. Of course, there were those who snickered from the show while one seemed to be rather disinterested. Tough crowd… To be fair, she wasn’t normally as blunt as she was today. She knew when to keep things to herself but quite frankly, this lady was going on for the last hour about prophecies and cosmic evils. This nun sounds like those writers who only focus on worldbuilding and not writing their story.

“Hurry up? We’re talking about the end of the world- YOUR world. This “lore” is vital. People’s lives are at stake with this information, Two,” the Head Nun said.

“Shit, really? Then why don’t you act it? Literally… no agency. This is the part where a creative writing teacher tells you “show don’t tell”,” Two answered right back; sarcasm dripping from every syllable. She wanted to correct the hag. Her name was Mia, but she understood there was anonymity for a reason. She was tactless, not stupid. Well, Mia would argue she had some tact, but her patience ran thin do this grossly, mishandled magic society. She thought those campy young adult books with groups run by idiots were meant to be… you know, fiction?

It all started right when Mia got to bed. She just got home from a long shift at work and all she wanted was nothing more than lay in bed. And that she did once she took an evening shower before bed. It was normal, everyday stuff for the third-year college student. She had school tomorrow and Mia just wanted to rest her aching body. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she opened her eyes to a completely new world. Looking around, she found herself not alone. There was one other person with her face covered and the pink-haired woman as well. Mia was greeted as “Two” and was told to wait for the other five to show.

That was an hour wasted in waiting and add in the additional hour for the hefty speech, we got our recipe for an irritated Mia. She didn’t go to bed just to stand up for two hours for some fantasy bullshit. Any other time? Sure. It’s cool. But now??? WHEN SHE HAS A TEST TOMORROW?! INCONVENIENT! It killed Mia since this was pretty fucking cool and different from the norm. Everyone dreams of being picked the chosen one but, come on… this was too predictable. If you read a fantasy book or consumed any fantasy media before, then you know what’s going on.

“Rude child. This information isn’t something as trivial as a novel,” the Head Nun spoke, looking down at Mia like a haughty teacher.

“I’m gonna assume that we’re all candidates in being chosen as the new Holy Maiden. We chose our knights or whatever. Compete and whoever wins must reseal the fallen god then tada! Happy ending! Yay!” Mia said. She even raised her hand at the ‘yay’ portion of her phrase. “Listen dude, I play too many games and read a shit ton of books for this. Can we please not do this while I’m in my pajamas?” Mia said, practically begging to be released from this mild inconvenience.

“… You guys weren’t exactly chosen. The universe brought you to us…” the Head Nun spoke, not really arguing with what Mia said. There was a cocky grin on Mia’s face as she just couldn’t help but find it funny how she got some otherworldly person tongue-tied.

“A lottery system huh… sounds about right. An NPC like me wouldn’t be chosen normally… I’m way too smart to be a main character,” Mia thought. She glances to the side for a moment before back on the show.

“Well… I’ll work with Two on this point and speed things up. Time is of the essence,” the head nun spoke, acting as if she was graciously fulfilling Mia’s wish. At this point, Mia didn’t care. Whatever helped the nun feel powerful or whatever… “As Two pointed out, all seven of you are candidates for becoming the new Holy Maiden. You will come into this realm three times a week for your lessons to strengthen your magic and during your regular days of the week, you seven will compete with one another. Your knights are the extension of your magic. When one knight trumps the other, they prove you are the strongest magic user and your defeated candidate is knocked out of the running. This continues until the last one is standing,” the nun explained, “We have hidden your faces and names from each other to keep you guys from cheating and attacking each other when you aren’t ready for combat. If you wish to fight, it’s up to you guys to discuss how to go about it.”

“A battle royal? I thought dystopian novels where kids kill each other in a game was out of fashion? I mean- they already got the Mirai Nikki vibe with the covered faces in the central hub…” Mia thought. She laughed under her breath with mild amusement at the situation. She decided to keep her thoughts hidden now as she surveys the competition. She wasn’t sure if she was going to take this seriously, but she thought she should start hiding her thoughts on the matter now. “The Head Nun never said we couldn’t figure out each other’s identity and jump them… nor any etiquettes of battle… how curious,” she continued her train of thought as she waited for the nun to finish.

“We’ll now do the summoning ritual. One, please kneel down and place your hand into the water to help your knight rise,” the Head Nun spoke. One looked around confused by the order, but she soon nervously did as she was told. She knelt and placed her hand inside. There was a good pause before One jolted. Slowly, One stood up to her feet as a tall figure rose from the water. Just like the girls, his face was hidden from everyone else but his master, no doubt. But his figure was very much noticeable.

“YO! Did you just summon a furry?!” Mia exclaimed before bursting out laughing. She pointed a finger at the girl next to her in a mocking fashion. While she couldn’t see the competition, Mia could at least see a pair of fuzzy dog ears on the knight’s head. But despite her words, Mia knew that, realistically, this knight was most likely a beast man or even a werewolf. She simply didn’t want to lose this chance to taunt her competition.

“Two! Please restrain yourself and respect your fellow maidens and their knights,” the Head Nun spoke. The pink-haired woman coughing into her hand to break up the interaction. “Now, for the love of God. Please shut up, kneel, and summon your knight.”

“Damn, at least ask for my consent before forcing me on my knees,” Mia muttered before kneeling as instructed. She felt rather stupid but seeing how the first maiden got a knight, Mia decided to just trust the action. She submerged her hand in the opaque lake. It was wet alright. Yet despite being in spitting distance to the surface, Mia couldn’t see past her reflection. “Come on RNG don’t fail me now. A hot guy would do wonders for my mental health,” Mia joked, “I hope re-rolls are free.”

On the edge of non-existence and existence, a subconscious mind rose to consciousness once more. He drowns in nothingness and breaths in hopelessness.

There was no sky nor ground to define his abysmal prison. Not even a memory to keep him company.

A hand reached out from above. A hand surrounded by light and a promise of warmth. He attempted to reach for it, yet he was restricted from moving and was forced to watch another steal the opportunity from the shadow. He watched the pair of hands meet and just like that, the light was gone.

He sank deeper into the depths of this unholy waiting room.

Yet again, a hand was extended from the dark with the temptation of freedom. Cautious to reach for it after the first time, he looked around for others who wished to take it. Many came and all walked away. No one wanted to take this hand.

He made an attempt to take it, if only to escape, but found that he was unable to pry himself free. Defeated, he decided to give up on the opportunity. It was pointless anyways.

Left unheld, the hand does not reel empty handed. No. Instead, it curled its fingers until one finger remained up.

One big ‘fuck you’.

What the fuck? So much for an inviting presence. Who did this person think they are? It wasn’t like he didn’t try to take their hand. But seeing this middle finger dangling in front of him like a fishhook with bait, he reached for it once more to drag the hand down into the depths with him. He was tied in place but after some furious tugs, he was freed with a pop.

Taking the hand, it became evident that the one getting snatched wasn’t them but him. Curled fingers shifted forms into a vice grip around his wrist upon skin contact. The dark veil that covered him were ripped off in that instance. Lights, sounds, textures, tastes, and smells flooded his senses as he became a person once again.

Planting both feet on the ground, Mia used both hands to reel up her prey. This summoning was nothing graceful like the girl next to her. It was primal and chaotic as Mia’s partner was floundering under the water. So much for a knight in shining armor. This guy isn’t fighting any dragons anytime soon if he’s having difficulty wrestling against an inanimate substance.

Letting out a battle cry, Mia used all her strength to bring her knight to the surface and onto the pier with her. It wasn’t his entire body but enough of it was on land that it was easier to drag the rest of him out with less trouble. Mia fell backwards on her butt and was slightly out of breath after that intensive ritual. Shiiiit. Carrying a body is a lot harder than it looks kids! Don’t trust what you see on TV. The more you knowミ★

Mia was the image of ‘tired’ with her slightly flushed cheeks and skewed. Fanning herself, she patiently waited for the man she pulled out to make the first move, yet he was belly-down, still as a door nail. For someone who had a lot of energy to fight against help, he suddenly became as complacent as a kitten.

Oh fuck... he isn’t dead, is he? Cause that’ll be pretty awkward ngl ┐(´-｀)┌

Mia leaned forward to inspect what she pulled out. She lifted his pale arm to search for a pulse. It was cold to the touch and she couldn’t tell if the steady thud she felt was his or an echo of her own. Upon letting it go, it limply fell to the ground with no flinch from him. Crap. Don’t tell her that she accidentally pulled out a dead body?! Well, Mia knew that pulling trash can happen during fishing mini games but she thought that this more of a “guarantee knight summoning” deal. Mia refused to believe that she waited five humiliating minutes waiting just to pull out a corpse. She wants a refund, god damn it!

Moving his head, Mia planned to check his pulse from his neck to double check if he was dead. There was no resistance in the action, yet she found herself meeting a pair of responsive red eyes peaking from between snowy white hair. The two of them stared at each other for a moment as they both seemed like caught criminals in the middle of a crime. The man’s chest raised up and down as he breaths; a piece of evidence that doesn’t escape Mia’s attention. He’s…

“HE’S HOT!!!”

Scrambling to her feet, Mia put both her hands in the air and let out her victory screech to the worried silhouettes surrounding her. No wait- she should be yelling how he was alive, not his appearance. Yet here she was, doing a victory dance on top of her knight in a pair of polka dotted pajamas. Give her a pitchfork and a tail then you got the image of an imp dancing on a grave. “Bro! He’s so hot... Edward Cullen lookin’ ass- I mean, not like the musty looking Robert Patterson version but how you imagine he look like based on the description,” Mia explained to anyone listening with a wildly inaccurate and vague description of the man. She waved her arms animatedly as she gossiped with her peers with the person in question crawling to his feet.

“Dude, that should be the last of your concerns,” Five said.

“I think you should make sure he’s okay…” Seven said, joining Five in expressing concern.

“Whoa there! You can’t really blame my maiden here for getting hung up on my dashing good looks. Dead or alive, you’ll notice my face first before anything else.”

Laying a heavy hand on Mia’s right shoulder, the man wrapped his arm around the woman to stand in solidarity it her. Surprised by the action, Mia tilt her head to the side to look at her knight to judge which side he was playing on. She locked eyes with him once more but not on accident this time. His touch was uncomfortable, yet she doesn’t push him away. They were a pair of souls with two different goals yet had a silent agreement to meet in the middle for the moment.

“Good to see you again, Catherine. You hardly look over two thousand years old,” Mia’s knight said, being the first to break their line of sight to look at the Head Nun. The nun sneered as the source of her stress doubled over the course of ten minutes.

“Ashley…” the Head Nun said, nearly hissing out the name. Her knuckles were turning white due to how tightly she held onto her armrest.

“Ash,” he corrected her, with equal amount of distaste in return. Ash was smiling but he on edge just like the Head Nun. But this rivalry was interrupted when Mia pinched Ash’s hand to catch his attention. He looked back down to receive Mia’s disapproving expression at his brief quip with the Head Nun. It seemed hypocritical that Mia was suddenly policing his attitude considering she was flaunting on the competition, but Ash clocked on what’s making her step in. “It’s okay,” Ash said, leaning down to whisper into Mia’s left ear, “This was just between me and her. No one heard me use my name. Not like it matters.”

“I’m just disappointed that you don’t have a chainsaw arm,” Mia whispered back, pretending she never had that concern by throwing out a seemingly random thought. Ash stared at her as if she was insane and as if to say ‘what are you talking about’ with expressions alone. “What? You never seen the Evil Dead franchise?” Mia whispered, “Not a fan of zombies movies?”

“You watched me rise from the depths, fight other knights, and you’re asking me if I’ve seen a movie?” Ash said, in disbelief at her question yet finding himself amused by it at the same time.

“I take it that you don’t have Netflix in the void then.”

Watching the duo snicker and conspire with each other like a pair of high school delinquents, the Head Nun rubbed her forehead as a migraine began to surface. She was losing control once again thanks to double trouble. Even the other girls who were patiently waiting began talking among each other. “Oh my god… like I thought, this was the worst combination I’ve ever seen in my lifetime…,” the Head Nun muttered to herself. She covered her face as she shook her head slowly as if she was contemplating something. “I didn’t realize it would be this bad… Out of all the times for that guy to make an appearance, he had to end up with her,” she continued muttering before ultimately lifting her head to look down at Mia and her summoned knight. The Head Nun needed to separate them. “Ah, Two? I don’t mean to disturb your… fun. But you summoned one of the more… troublesome knights considering his background. I’ll allow you to “re-roll”. How does that sound?” the Head Nun spoke, her voice sickening sweet and obviously fake.

Mia and Ash quickly turned to look at each other for how their partner would react. They wordlessly conversed with Mia gesturing the two of them then to the Head Nun. Ash’s only reply was an uncaring shrug but ended up nervously shaking off the water that stuck to his hair to appear distracted. “Yeah… no deal, Howie Mandel,” Mia said, trailing off for a moment to gauge last minute expressions from Ash before turning her full attention on the Head Nun. “You doing that makes me want to stick with Mr. Abominable Albino even more,” she said.

“Abominable Albino?” Ash said. He had a hand over his chest and appeared almost offending by the alliteration. He was hardly offended by being called such a thing but the fact that Mia wasted a braincell to make an awful pun in the middle of a fantastical end-of-the-world scenario.

“Whenever some untrustworthy figure makes some inflammatory comment about one of the leads, they’re obviously doing that to cause aa divide between the leads for their own benefit,” Mia continued as she ignored Ash’s offense to her words. She waved her hand in the air as if to disperse the fog of misinformation. “You even had a mini aside moment where you muttered to the readers that there’s something more about Ash!”

“Pardon?”

The Head Nun looked completely lost as Mia’s rambling turned to the meta and spoke about invisible audience members. But just like Ash, Mia ignored her words to continue her spiel. “And even if he’s a piece of shit. Worthless. Good for nothing. Pathetic. Dead weight. Only a pretty vase-“

“Okay. I think she gets it already,” Ash said, cutting in as the terms began to pile in his heart. He squeezed Mia’s shoulder to have her move on to the point.

“I will never give him up,” Mia said.

“And... why is that?” the Head Nun asked, wringing her dress in fear that Mia figured something out that she wasn’t supposed to.

“Because he is hot. I made that pretty clear since the beginning,” Mia said. She held her head high and mighty with not even a hint of shame. For a moment, Ash was about to feel touched by Mia coming to his defense. Touched enough that it would make him loyal to her and act as a spark to a turbulent but heartfelt young adult love story which would turn into a mildly popular trilogy with an eventual movie deal before fading into obscurity. But the curtains closed on that sparkling yet oddly specific future as Ash realized that he was stuck with the weird kid. “I mean- I guess I value him as a person too… or something. Power of belief or whatever inspirational term author’s like to use to tug on heartstrings.”

[hixystix]

Fanfic Meme 2!

Tagged by @sempaiko!

Some questions similar to the last, but some new ones as well!

1. What fandoms have you written for?

Harry Potter, Hannibal, Supernatural, Jericho, Driven, and Star Wars.

2. How many works do you have on AO3 &/or FFNet?

58 on AO3 and... probably about 2 still on that group account from high school.

3. What are your top 3 fics by kudos on A03 &/or Favs on FFNet?

A Safe Haven, 832 kudos

Come in from the Cold, 613 kudos

Dream Walking, 321 kudos

4. Which 3 fics have the least kudos & Favs?

The Death of Me, 6 kudos

I Would Make That Sacrifice, 6 Kudos

Remember When, 9 kudos

5. Which Fic has the most comments and which has the least?

Most: A Safe Haven, 343 comments

Least: The Death of Me, 1 comment

6. Which complete fic do you wish had gotten more attention?

To use a different fic from the last meme, Snowflakes, one of my early ones.

7. Have you written any crossovers?

A few years ago, I was writing lots of them, but very few of them made it to the public eye.

8. What is the craziest fic you’ve written?

Okay so back in high school, I wrote a crack fic that's still up on FF.n. No links to that one, lmao.

9. What’s the fic you’ve written with the saddest ending?

Probably my high school Harry Potter fic, Broken Mirror (not on FF.n anymore). Ended with the OC protagonist being dragged off to Azkaban.

10. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Pretty much all of them lately!

11. What is your smuttiest fic?

Luck Charm, definitely.

12. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

So on the last meme I answered I didn't know, but if we're talking about FF.n now, then yes. I once found an LJ post where my HP fic was being lampooned as a Mary Sue fic. (It was, it was a high schooler's fantasy story but eh.) The ridicule has stuck with me over the years.

13. What is the nicest comment you’ve received?

Oh gosh, there are so many comments that stick in my head! I don't know that I could pick just one.

14. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge. Hopefully never!

15. How many fics do you have marked as incomplete?

Just the one, The Jedi and His Ranger, but that will be finished soon!

17. Which WIP are you looking forward to finishing?

See above :D

18. Is there a WIP that you’re considering abandoning?

The sequel to the Professor AU is pretty well abandoned at this point.

19. Which complete fic would you consider rewriting?

I am honestly considering rewriting Return as a project when the Jedi AU is over. No plot changes, but rereading it, I know I could have written it better. I love the plot so much, I want the prose to live up to it.

20. Which complete fic is your favorite?

Currently, 'Til I Reach You.

21. What’s your total published word count?

1,134,316.

[blissfulalchemist]

Questions for an Author

Tagged by @chazz-anova Thank you for the tag!

Tagging(no pressure to do it): @consumedkings @risenlucifer @tomexraider @strafethesesinners @faithchel @ohfaiths and anyone else that would like to do it! 

Name: Lici! or well full name is Alicia but eh.

Top 5 Fandoms Written: I have only written for Far Cry 5, Twilight, and dabbled in Vampire Academy/Bloodlines before I stopped writing for years.

Top 5 Fandoms You Want To Write For/More: Well I will continue to write for Far Cry 5 but I’d love to get back into Bloodlines as the story and world building was amazing and I don’t think the author will go back to that world so I must make my own content. I’d have been open to Vampire the Masquerade with the new game that was coming out but who knows. I’m finding I need more completed material to write for. I’d also like Legends of Tomorrow but I wouldn’t want to taint it with my mediocrity. 

Stories You Wish More People Knew About: Just any of them really I guess. Granted I need to write for Liz and Lance more but like there is an interconnectedness between them so it’s all just one story when you think about it just different perspectives.

Ship(s) Written The Most: According to my Masterlist it seems that I have written a lot for Chance and Faith, Catlina and John, and then the Brains and Disaster trio which is mostly an OCxOC romantic ship and friendship. 

Character(s) Written The Most: I believe this may go more to Cat by like a small margin as number one just for the fact that she was my first and so she has a lot more material. Chance is catching up though, he just have the more published material so far.

How Many OCs Do You Have: 4 for Far Cry 5. I have ideas for one in Bloodlines but I’m too scared to bring them out as the fandom died years ago haha.

How Many Series Do You Have: Technically 4 as each character has their own arc and story but they are all in the same universe so it could just be considered one series with individual books if that makes sense. Oh and a few others if we count AUs as there are some with other people’s OCs. Look I’m a sporadic writer at this point and I just write and post whatever comes to mind or if there are prompts that inspire. These are the current ones as this could also be referring to what I wrote in high school which had the Twilight one and the Vampire Academy one.

What Do You Do With Fics You’re No Longer Interested In?: I don’t really know....I guess it depends on the context really. I still keep the drafts of prompts and chapters just in case I ever want to go back to them but I’ve never really lost interest in my current writings and I’m not counting my high school ones as I was young and moved on really. Who knows? Most of my recent chapters and what not have been things I started or finished in late night hazes but never went back to them until just now. 

Coming Soon: Canon Cat! I am determined to get a few of her chapters out there. Two of which are part of her character decent from her sweet self and then a little bit more light hearted drunk Cat with John. Also! A Dark Cat with @strafethesesinners Cooper. 

Line From A WIP: Please forgive how rough this is as I have to get to its editing stage.

She pushed her way through the crowd, drink in hand to the front door. The cold air felt good against her warm skin, as she looked for John’s form in the night. He stood to the side of the building keeping his head down. She skipped to him trying to not spill her drink. “Hey there stranger!” She practically shouted into the night, “Wait shhh, right secret.” She giggled as quietly as she could while being this far into her drunkenness. She had a low tolerance and was pretty sure they were giving her alcohol that she wasn’t used to drinking. She also had lower impulse control and kissed him on the cheek. “I didn’t expect you here. You come to celebrate?” She held up the glass as if he needed more explanation.

His expression was amused from what she could see in the neon light, he held her steady as the chill from the night started to hit her. “I see you’re doing plenty of that for the both of us. How many drinks have you had tonight?,” Cat held up five fingers taking another sip of the one in her hand, “So this one is number six?” She nodded, smiling feeling the color come to her cheeks. He smiled and she rolled her eyes, “I’d love to join you but I just came to give you your gift.”

Do You Accept Prompts?: Oh for sure! Sometimes I need the prompting but I also don’t mind playing around with AUs and different timelines and things like that as they can bring out different aspects of the characters I feel. 

How Do You Feel About Kudos?: Oh they are wonderful but not always needed it does help in showing that you’re enjoying it and I will write more if its making people happy.

Do You Read Fic As Well?: I do on occasion. I do like longer fics at times but I also love reading the smaller pieces that people write also! I just don’t always hate the time or energy to keep up all the time but I do try. 

[echo-bleu]

Writing Thoughts: July 2020

First, I am ridiculously late in replying to comments, and I’m sorry.

This isn’t going to be a regular report, because I took a (longer than planned) break from writing, so I have essentially nothing to report. I meant to take a week off at the end of June because I wasn’t feeling it anymore and needed a break. It’s been five weeks, and I’ve written a whooping 10k words since, most of which is entirely unusable.

So I’ll try to use this post to remind myself of why (and what) I want to write.

I kinda joined a new fandom. Historically I’ve been pretty much unable to be in multiple fandoms at the same time when they’re hyperfixations (and I don’t write if it’s not a fixation), but I also don’t want to leave my fics unfinished. Right now, I have very little interest left for RNM. This may change, it might just be the first phase of a new SpIn, or it might now, I don’t know. But what I should really say is that I have no interest for RNM canon. I still love my AUs. I’m not reading RNM fics at the moment, but I have about a dozen tabs open on new chapters or fics I want to read eventually, and I’ll get there.

The new fandom is Shadowhunters, by the way. I fell in love with Alec Lightwood and with Malec years after everybody and joined the fandom late as is my habit. I’m not sure how long it’s going to last, but the fandom is very active and I’ve started writing (those 10k words) so we’ll see. It does have one thing that I was missing in my last two fandoms (and especially RNM) which is a character that I can properly headcanon as autistic so I can write for my own neurotype, which is frankly a breath of fresh air sometimes. For the most part, I don’t even like the other characters or the worldbuilding of that show though, so it may end up being a short SpIn.

That said, I really don’t want to abandon my fics (and I’m aware that I said that before and still ended up abandoning fics, but es is probably the only one who remembers so...well.) I want to remind myself of what I love in the fics I’m writing.

Easiest and shortest first, down to breathing needs two more chapters that are planned out and aren’t going to be very long and I’m pretty sure I’ll get there. I just need to figure out if my brain will do better with trying to finish this so it’s out of the way, or going back to one of the longer (and AU) ones to get immersed again.

still, there were mornings may end up being the hardest one to go back to. It’s not fully planned out, and it kind of requires for me to go back to the season 2 plot to try to untangle what I can keep from that, something I don’t particularly want to do. I did have fun writing the first few chapters though, so maybe I can get back in. I like Rosa in this one, a lot. I planned on getting Greg in there pretty early, that should be nice. Plus plenty of whump and h/c, which is always what’s easiest and nicest for me to write. Yes. I need to remember that. Less plot, more h/c lol.

our hands clasped so tight is still my baby. I love it so much, I love writing it even when it doesn’t come easily. I think a big part of the reason I ended up needing a break was that I was stuck on this one, and had little interest in writing anything else. I have autistic Michael (not as easy to write as I’d hoped because I still struggle with Michael in general, esp since s2, but still nice), I really love Alex in this fic for a number of reasons, there’s a flashback chapter at some point with a LOT of angst... fluff and angst and h/c in the main plot, plus some nice surprises coming up. Plus, it’s a plot with low stakes, so I can play around. It reminds me a lot of the Underground (my long Gifted fic that I did end up abandoning 😭 I still have a fool’s hope of going back to it someday) in that regard, so hopefully it won’t meet the same fate.

The sequel to setting fire to our insides (for fun). Ouch. I really want to write it, but it sometimes hits a little too close to home. It’s the one that is dangerous for me to write when I’m not doing well, but too hard when I’m well, so it’s a difficult balance. So many people were enthusiastic about the sequel in the comments, and I also feel like I can’t do it justice, but I felt like that about the first part for months. So I don’t know. I guess I’ll see if I can get into that particular mood again.

Complicated Truths is the one AU that I honestly feel the least good about. I was excited at first, I still am in theory I guess, but I struggled too much with giving it a coherent plot, and what I do have is way too long for me to keep up interest. Maybe I need to talk it out with someone, come up with something shorter and easier if I want to keep going. I do love writing blind Alex, and I enjoy the Malex dynamic of it. And the spy setting, even though I feel a little out of my depth.

Power Through. I really want to get back to it. I love it so much. It’s all plotted out, even if now I kinda want to include Rosa more and get Gregory in. I don’t know why I haven’t managed to write more, I think I got lost in the one-shots and shorter fics that I enjoy writing less but give me more instant gratification I suppose... Plus season 2 threw me for a loop. But this and our hands are the two fics that I’d really want to write to the end, if I have to choose.

I also still have the Big Bang I signed up to. Eh. I planned on doing one of the AUs I outlined but never wrote, but it would be long, and the truth is that I don’t think I can handle another long AU. So my plan is shifting a bit toward a shorter fic (maybe 15k or so) with a lot less plot and more feels. I’m not allowed to say more :D

The thing I started writing for Shadowhunters is a series of short fics, not a full WIP, I’m not committing to something like that just yet. Not sure whether I’ll post anything at all. We’ll see.

This was ridiculously long as usual, so thank you if you’ve read to the end! It was really more a note for myself than meant for any of you tbh, but if you really want to see one of these fics to completion, feel free to tell me, I need the encouragement 💙