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murdereraisuha · 4 years ago

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Final Chapter 5 Reflection

This will have my personal opinion/thoughts on:

The VDC outcome, Rook’s actions, and what could’ve made it better

The Rook reveal and Neige

Kalim, Jamil, and Epel’s development

The Grim scene

Total word count: 2134 words

--- 1 ---

So, RSA won the VDC. My feelings on this are mixed.

Looking at it in relation to the whole plot of TWST, it makes sense. It moves the chance for NRC to finally beat RSA to the upcoming magift tournament, which gives NRC’s potential victory a large amount of excitement/importance which it wouldn’t get from this middle of the year championship.

Furthermore, Rook’s actions do make sense based on his personality. If Vil really didn’t believe that he himself was beautiful, Rook of course would vote for the team that exhibited pure joy in their performance and therefore exhibited a heartfelt beauty. It would be a lie to vote for NRC, and it would disgrace both Rook and Vil. Rook’s actions plot wise also lead to the discussion about Vil valuing himself vs seeking value from others, which I think is a crucial thing for Vil to remember. While trying to gain recognition for hard work is good, and Vil certainly does deserve recognition, it’s much more important to maintain a good perception of yourself even when things happen or people wrongfully say things that might tear down your self-esteem

However, I still have issues with how this played out in relation to the plot of chapter 5. It’s unrealistic for all of Vil’s misgivings about himself to get fixed through the power of friendship and beating each other up. But, still, the team went through a lot in order to get to the championship united and ready to perform. It feels like a slap in the face for them to lose after all that. Especially the scene with Kalim and Epel crying while Ya Hoo cheerfully plays in the background, it's so comically dissonant. Though we already got an explanation from Vil about how Neige’s performance appeals to viewers, I was still shocked. At least it was a close competition rather than a crushing defeat.

Also, while Rook’s message was sound, the timing was rather bad. Vil and the rest of the team just had a massive battle and then went through a whole song & dance performance without major blunders while still injured. Focusing on Vil’s self-esteem there makes it seem like Rook is just brushing all that determination and effort away. Though Vil doesn’t seem to truly hold it against Rook since he offers the handkerchief back to Rook when he cries, the situation still feels off.

In conclusion, I think that the plot events made sense. However, the execution of them could have been improved. As is, it’s hard to understand Rook’s motivations in this part due to the ridiculousness of RSA’s kid’s song winning. To fix that without just completely overhauling the plot, I believe that the admirable qualities of Neige and the dwarves should have been shown more clearly. For example, while the Pomefiore CM shows a glimpse of their bond, that’s nonexistent in the game. I think that incorporating that into the game (ex. a short scene of Neige reassuring the dwarves that their performance will go well before they step on stage) would help people understand Rook’s point of view better by showing instead of just telling us about the belief Neige has in his friends..

Moreover, alongside better reasons for why Rook choose RSA, I think it should be clearer why he did not choose NRC. It seems an attempt at warning of the “betrayal” was done with Vil menacingly saying he’ll win the VDC during the voting, followed by the shot of Rook just going “........”. To make this less sudden, I think I would change episode 66. Though that episode has Vil saying that he’s ugly, because the team contradicts him and keeps him as the leader it makes it seem like the problem is solved there. Therefore, to better lead to Rook’s speech, I would change episode 66 to have Vil show more hesitation and signs that he still doesn’t believe in himself.

--- 2 ---

Anyway, on to the reveal about Rook. I wasn’t sure what to think about the name slip up during the previous part, but I just guessed that maybe they’d met before and that meeting is related to RSA and Rook having light magic. Nope, we get Neige simp Rook. I think this reveal was really surprising, but more in a funny way than a “ruins Rook’s character” way. It’s nice to see Rook seriously caught off guard by Neige just nonchalantly exposing him in front of everyone, and everyone’s reactions were extremely funny.

I think that the chapter did a decent job of making it clear that Rook’s relationship with Neige as a fan of him is vastly different from Rook’s calm admiration of and friendship with Vil. I’m kind of curious now about how and when Rook became a fan though. Him being the 2nd member of the fan club implies that Rook found Neige when Neige still hadn’t gotten much fame yet.

I loved everyone’s Ya Hoo too. Ace and Jamil having level 0 enthusiam, Kalim and Rook having level 1000 enthusiasm, Deuce being startled but slowly getting into it but still being kind of eh, Epel just keeping that wide-eyed confused expression the whole time. ボーテ、１００点. For Vil, I understand that he was probably faking his big smile for the benefit of the audience. However, I still hope his opinion of Neige has improved somewhat or will improve. Neige telling Vil that he’s still number one in the eyes of the people who voted for him was really sweet and their interactions with each other are pretty cute/funny when Vil isn’t trying to murder him.

Unlike other minor characters like Chenya and Farena who either weren’t involved in the plot or were only involved as backstory, Neige is Vil’s present rival and motivation for doing the stuff he does and over blotting. With such a large presence that continued all throughout the chapter and the Rook reveal, it would seem strange for Neige to suddenly drop out of existence come chapter 6.

Therefore, assuming that the Grim situation doesn’t derail the current patterns we’ve seen in the story, I think that Neige will be included as part of the Pomefiore involvement in chapter 6. Of course, it could be something small like getting called in for a favor near the end or just mentions of Rook continuing to write him fan letters. However, I’m hoping it’s something larger. From my analysis of the previous part:

Vil’s team’s performance had a lot of cohesion and rehearsal put into it, but it was very competitive focused. On the other hand, Neige and the dwarves obviously had a lot of fun with their performance. However, it was clumsy and they were ill prepared. Therefore, Vil could teach Neige more discipline and planning while Neige could teach Vil about how to not lose sight of finding joy in your work.

Now that we have confirmation that Neige is a genuinely nice guy, I really want Vil & Neige friendship to happen, or for them to at least be on good terms with each other. It might just be my personal love for relationships where one person tries to be all rival-y but then the other is like “nope, I’m going to friend you whether you like it or not,” but I think this sort of development in the story of TWST would be really enjoyable to watch.

--- 3 ---

For the performance of Absolutely Beautiful, I love that Jamil got to be in the center for a bit. However, that also just makes me more disappointed that we didn’t get more Scarabia or anything about how their families are watching this. With the stuff in 5-30 and 5-34 focusing on Kalim’s perspective on things and his relationship with Jamil, I thought that at some point we would get a final scene focusing on them and how they’ve developed since chapter 4. What we got with Jamil swooping in to the rescue with the magic carpet then talking about how he could sense that Kalim was about to do something stupid was better than nothing, but idk. I just love the writing and complexity these two have gotten and I wanted that to continue to the end. I still have hope though! If we can get a thing about Leona noticing the traces of magic in the arena, then we can get future appearances from the Scarabia boys too!... please...

Now, for Epel, I also have mixed feelings about his development throughout the chapter. I absolutely loved the beach scene with Deuce and Epel, it was so cute and I liked Epel realizing the power of beauty because of the apple juice Magicam post. However, I think the narrative missed something important. Though Epel’s views had a lot of improvement to be made, Vil’s treatment of him was also terrible and should have been addressed. I believe Vil saying that “throwing a tantrum and taking it out on others was terrible of him” in episode 66 implies that he’s realized that all his actions, not just the overblot, were wrong. However, it’s not clear enough that that was the intention. Vil does not apologize specifically for how he attempted to force Epel to conform to his own beliefs. Though there’s always chapter 6, it still doesn’t seem like the story will ever really address this issue, which is a shame to say the least.

Furthermore, in this final part, Epel offering to take the center position was really good and showed how much he’s grown since the beginning of the chapter. However, it still didn’t bring the whole “poison apple” thing to fruition. Absolutely no one made any comment on his cuteness or how it might rival Neige’s cuteness. Did they plan something with that but scraped it? Like, this is way too little pay off for such a focus on Vil shaping Epel into a way to best Neige. My disappointment with this ending might have to do with these past 3 main story updates being the only ones I’ve been in this fandom for, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Whatever the cause of my disappointment may be, my disappointment still does exist.

--- 4 ---

To top off this roller coaster of a chapter and end this reflection with a more neutral analysis, we have the stuff with Mickey and Grim. Mickey seems really nice, I’m glad that Yuu seems to have made an ally in him. We certainly need one after whatever the hell just happened with Grim. I really have to give props for how unsettling both Grim’s appearance and the sounds during that scene were.

Though we’re obviously getting close to the endgame, the Ignihyde sneak peak that we got seems pretty normal and related to their personal problems rather than the plot. Though it would be interesting for a big change to happen like Yuu being out of commission for the chapter, I think it’s more likely that Yuu will be rescued, Grim just goes missing, then we don’t get much more info on that whole thing until the end of chapter 6 leading into chapter 7.

Anyway, for the scene itself I understand if it just because silent protagonist, don’t want to make them talk/do too much, but it feels kind of weird that there wasn’t really any indication of a struggle? Just standing there, staring at Grim, getting clawed, then black out. Nothing to indicate trying to step back. There was some weird clopping??? sound after he attacked but since the camera didn’t move that wasn’t Yuu collapsing.

Also, it might just be supposed to be “Grim’s laugh but creepy,” but his ケヒッ、ケヒヒッ laughter sounds unusually distinctive? Idk, I just had the thought that it could be in reference to some other disney character with a similar laugh but idk who that would be since I’m not big into disney movies.

Right before he attacks, Grim also shouts “this is my stone!!!” Firstly, assuming that this stone is the same small size as the others, shouldn’t he already be done eating it? Yuu’s not exactly gonna stick their hand down his throat to retrieve it. So what stone is he talking about?

Well, we know that the magic crystal on the magic pens is supposed to collect blot so that it doesn’t built up inside someone, right? Blot accumulated from outright eating it instead of blot accumulated from casting magic is probably different, but what if some of the blot from the black stones did get gathered up by Grim’s crystal on his collar? We know how crazed he has been getting about the black stones. Is it so much of a stretch to think that he might be trying for more? That he might be trying to create instead of just find?

How would a black magic crystal taste?

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst spoilers #vil schoenheit #rook hunt #neige leblanche #twst theories #twst grim #update screaming

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ginmo · 4 years ago

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How do you think the Bran and Jaime’s meeting will go in the books? I’ve read theories guessing he might end up as King Bran’s Hand, meta where the writers want him to become a mentor or father figure to the Starks in a full circle of his redemption arc, while others don’t want or think he should be involved with the Starks long-term either because of his and his family’s sins against the Starks or because they view his arc as reclamation rather than redemption or atonement. 1/2

This is what GRRM said about Bran and exploring time.

“It's an obscenity to go into somebody's mind. So Bran may be responsible for Hodor's simplicity, due to going into his mind so powerfully that it rippled back through time. The explanation of Bran's powers, the whole questions of time and causality - can we affect the past? Is time a river you can only sail one way or an ocean that can be affected wherever you drop into it? These are issues I want to explore in the book, but it's harder to explain in a show.” - Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon

Hodor’s name reveal is neat and all, but Bran’s power to manipulate the past doesn't exist just so we can randomly learn Hodor’s pointless name origin. That would be ridiculous unless the scene was used to introduce that ability. Hodor’s name reveal is important to the narrative, and I believe its purpose is to set up a much bigger event/reveal involved around Bran interfering with the past, not just observing it. I’m pretty sure GRRM was hint-hinting to D&D about this, which is why he told them about the random ass Hodor scene that was already written, thinking it would be obvious what that means for the overall plot and letting them run with it but………………..

Because of this, I think it’s possible Bran brought himself to where he is.

IF Bran isn’t involved in The Push, then he could have been involved with Jaime killing the Mad King. I kinda like the idea of Bran playing into Aerys’ madness, causing him to stock up on wildfire around the city, because then the wildfire would be an essential future plot element for a bigger purpose towards the end of the series and it would be a question of time, “a river you can only sail one way, or an ocean that can be affected wherever you drop it,” but for the entire series. (And, as someone with a passion in astrophysics, I’m a sucker for discussions around time. BUTTHAT’SJUSTME)

Do I totally subscribe to this theory? Eh. I’m still not convinced Bran is King of All of Westeros for reasons, but I’m open-minded. I DO think Jaime is surviving the series, for reasonsssss, so I’m putting that disclaimer out there right now. I will never claim with absolute confidence that he is surviving though because, I mean, nobody fucking knows, and there’s an argument for death. I’m just going off of narrative clues that I perceive to be clues, and taking other character arcs into consideration. After literally drawing up a table because I’m weird, the column for Survive has more evidence and justification than the column for Dies, so that’s why I lean the way I lean. SO with that being said, I think it’s possible he has more of a political future.

IF this is what GRRM is writing, Jaime would still be responsible for pushing him, of course, but future Bran would want to be pushed. He'd be setting everything in motion to create the butterfly effect that makes it happen.

Even if that isn’t what GRRM had intended with exploring time, it’s highly likely Bran’s character development is taking him down a path of apathy over it, meaning he wouldn’t be needing Jaime to do something for the purpose of redemption for him.

Speaking of Redemption…

-deep breath-

I’m going to go off on this a bit because it IS relevant, I swear.

“Limits of redemption” is probably the biggest wtf interpretation fandom has when it comes to what GRRM actually said. I’ll try not to go off on it too much here but -

Interviewer: Both Jaime and Cersei are clearly despicable in those moments. Later, though, we see a more humane side of Jaime when he rescues a woman, who had been an enemy, from rape. All of a sudden we don’t know what to feel about Jaime.

GRRM: One of the things I wanted to explore with Jaime, and with so many of the characters, is the whole issue of redemption. When can we be redeemed? Is redemption even possible? I don’t have an answer. But when do we forgive people? [...] I want there to be a possibility of redemption for us, because we all do terrible things. We should be able to be forgiven. Because if there is no possibility of redemption, what’s the answer then? [x]

I bolded “we” from the interviewer, because it gives context to GRRM’s answer with “we” being the readers, not the characters or Jaime himself. (I think there’s another interview where he says “limits of redemption” but it’s in the same context. I could be wrong but I SWEAR I heard it. Anyway…)

“I kind of tried to ask, ‘do you think he’s changed?’ to get him to talk about Jaime’s redemption arc, so he said something like he wanted to explore the concept of forgiveness and whether it’s possible to be forgiven for doing such horrible things, and that his goal was to ask the question, not give an answer.” [x]

Fandom thinks this is the characters giving Jaime forgiveness, and maybe there will be a small element of that in the books, but the question is for the readers. No, Jaime is not actively seeking redemption from people. His redemption is for himself, through living his best life, by rediscovering the person he used to be. Yes He Will Be Redeemed and No He Will Fail assume redemption is some arbitrary checklist determined by One Big Act, and they’re answers to a question GRRM doesn’t want to give an answer to.

The purpose of Jaime’s POVs is to ask the readers, and the most obvious moment of this was the bath scene. GRRM smacks us over the head with the Aerys confession, and then as we’re introduced to more and more of his POV chapters, he slowly chips away at the Jaime illusion that was intentionally established the moment he pushed one of the perceived child protagonists out of a window. It’s brilliant, and I’m sorry GRRM that a large chunk of your fandom is too dense to get it. How frustrating lol. I’ll be insulted for him. (I’m legit wondering if his recent angsty tweets about grey and redemption about real life stem from a concern that his fandom won’t understand the point of the series.)

To give you an idea of where these people are coming from, at least one BNF idiot on Twitter believes redemption hasn’t been explored with Jaime yet.

But uh…

GRRM mentioned his intent is to “explore redemption” after delivering Jaime POVs, because... it’s... not a spoiler… he’s already exploring redemption, because the question is being asked TO US. We were supposed to have an “oh shit” moment, realizing this is more complex than the surface level, biased perspective we were delivered at the beginning of the story. “Maybe Westeros and my protagonist have it wrong.” -cough- the people in the village in BatB -cough-

No matter how much fandom likes to pretend they love GRRM for pushing the boundaries of fantasy, they secretly fucking hate it. They love to be comfortable, dude. That’s why they read this series as if it’s a clear cut Good vs. Evil, because a) ego and b) that’s easy. If GRRM was writing Jaime as doing everything with ill intent then…. his… question isn’t being asked. They think everything he does right now is selfish and Bad, so they’re waiting. They want it spoon fed to them. They want classic fantasy. They want Starks = Good, Lannisters = Bad.

But… if the author sees Jaime’s actions as grey and complex, enough to ask the question to the readers if he’s redeemed in their eyes or not, then he’s not going to write an endgame that punishes the character for narrative payoff, because he doesn’t see his actions as “sins” or “crimes” in the same way that these people are. Once upon a time, a person on tumblr reblogged one of my posts and said that Jaime will rape Cersei before he kills himself and that will be his endgame. But GRRM doesn’t view Jaime as a rapist, so he’s not going to write Jaime as a rapist. I’m bringing that up, because it’s the same phenomenon. People can ignore authorial intent all they want, but NOT when it comes to predicting narrative trajectory. The general fandom is terrible at that lol.

The exploration of redemption for Jaime comes in the form of confronting his disillusioned self and everything attached to it. Before someone thinks, “lolllll he isn’t disillusioned”

“he actually was a very idealistic young man who was disillusioned by life” [x]

Jaime’s redemption is the path of returning to that idealistic man for himself. It’s by feeling ashamed of the things he’s done to hide his love for Cersei. It’s by gaining independence and detaching from the toxic relationship that caused a mess outside of them. It’s by wanting to be like the knights he admired in his youth, and like the woman warrior that inspired him.

So when I think about narrative payoff for Jaime, I don’t see it framed as him being “punished” for actions viewed as “crimes,” when GRRM clearly established those “crimes” as complicated and grey with a character already going through some positive development, and especially when the characters judging are written to be flawed as well.

On the other side, having him be “punished” by succumbing to hatred and anger is for sure giving an answer (this just… -sits on hands- don’t even get me started on THIS fucking hot take). That answer would be a clear, solid, “No, no matter how hard he tries to turn his life around, he can’t be redeemed, because he’s a hateful, angry, fucked up person.” I’ve legit seen people think “limits of redemption” is a boundary of redemption drawn in the sand that Jaime is walking towards but he won’t be able to cross it. I-.........................

And what’s even the point of his handchop if scenario number 2 happens?

“And Jaime, losing a hand, losing the very thing he defined himself on is crucial to where I think I want to go with the character. And he questions what do you make of yourself if you’ve lost that.” - GRRM [x]

(I’m going to put this quote in every post sorry not sorry)

So he’s going to take Jaime on this big identity journey just for him to be like “lol nah he isn’t that” …?? That makes the loss of his hand meaningless, not “crucial.” Is it really crucial for him to lose his hand if he’s bringing him back to the beginning? Is it really crucial for him to lose his hand to make himself realize he’s hateful and a failure and murder Cersei and then himself? No. He could have still met Brienne and been inspired by her knightly ways, attempted to live a better life, found out about Cersei’s affairs, etc. He doesn’t need to lose his hand to reach a point of fucking murder/suicide lmao fuck (not saying he’ll do that but I KNOW people are thinking it).

The loss of his hand is “crucial,” because GRRM has bigger endgame plans for him in the form of politics, and the journey to believably get there requires the forced loss of his warrior identity and everything that the hand symbolized.

AS FOR THE ACTUAL HAND THEORY...

Even though I’m undecided on it, I CAN see it IF Bran is King. I get it. Jaime’s missing his right Hand, he becomes the Hand to the kid he pushed out the window. Hardy har har. I understand how that would be pleasing.

And we all know GRRM said something about how the best ones for power are the ones who don’t want it…

And… this suspicious scene at the very beginning of the series…

“You should be the Hand.”

“Gods forbid,” a man’s voice replied lazily. “It’s not an honor I’d want. There’s far too much work involved.”

Bran hung, listening, suddenly afraid to go on. -AGOT

BUT IF that happens, it wouldn’t be there as some sort of #atonement #forredemption. It would be there because of Jaime’s growth as a character after developing into a political player, after asking himself, “what do you make of yourself if you’ve lost [the swordhand]?” He’s no longer the warrior he once was. He dislikes any sort of political position, because he feels most alive with a sword in his hand. But that was Warrior Jaime, and the point of “what do you make of yourself after you’ve lost that” is Jaime going down a different path after discovering that Warrior Jaime has died. I mean, he’d never be actively seeking power and thinking it’s the best career ever, like he’d probably be all -sighhhhhhh- about it, but he’d be doing the responsible thing and what’s necessary. He’d make himself useful in a new way.

“The Warrior had been Jaime’s god since he was old enough to hold a sword. Other men might be fathers, sons, husbands, but never Jaime Lannister, whose sword was as golden as his hair. He was a warrior, and that was all he would ever be.” - AFFC (Do I really need to make a post about how GRRM foreshadows? Mr. Bran: “I never fall”...?)

Jaime losing his hand was the narrative consequence for The Push, making all of his development post handchop -ALL OF HIS POVS- the redemption theme. It was the hand that pushed Bran, fucked his twin, killed his king, swung the sword against fandom’s Precious Protagonists…

“You ought to be pleased. I’ve lost the hand I killed the king with. The hand that flung the Stark boy from that tower. The hand I’d slide between my sister’s thighs to make her wet.” - AFFC

So if Jaime becomes his Hand, it would be the two characters meeting in the middle, not Jaime groveling at his feet, begging for forgiveness, framed as a punishment for sins - “sins” that fandom views as “sins” that need narrative payoff, because they don’t understand intent.

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socialistsooner420 · 4 years ago

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ok i gotta slow down

i accidentally overmedicated myself with my focalin. not too much, dont worry, im not even prescribed a proper amount for an adult (which is a whole other can of worms i'll get into) and i only took one extra. ive done way more uppers than this, ill be ok i just need to do a little ramble here so i can slow down and vent

i took an extra bc i panicked and just felt overwhelmed by the amount of chores n shit i needed to catch up on from not having meds the past two weeks and living in a literal garbage pile

my psych wont up my dosage because she thinks its illegal?? but like... im on the lowest dosage possible, twice a day, instant release. i've been on it for over a year, and she can absolutely up the dosage. i used to have extended release prescription (god i miss those so much but i couldnt afford $165 a month plus my other meds ugh) and just one was 2 times stronger than the current dosage of my instant releases. so?????? why the fuck

all yall ppl who say "be honest with yr psychs!!!!" hahahahahaahaahaha they lie to me why tf would i be honest to them? especially when in the times i have been "honest" its actively harmed my treatment

like, do yall not understand how hard it is to get medication when your doctor doesnt even believe in the specific illness affecting you??

ive literally been told to "pray the anxiety away". i left that doc after one appointment. but thats just a PRIME example of why being "honest" just dont work here

ive been misdiagnosed and mismedicated all while my doctors just wouldn't listen to what the fuck i was saying and that i was dealing with and wanted to just use the "textbook conditions". and agoraphobia isn't well researched, because, well..... thats pretty much our biggest fear. being observed. being open with strangers. so its not really a "textbook condition".

its a complex issue that is different in every agor because it's usually induced by individual trauma, and its not a "societal/behavioral" illness and therefore not really something to "fix" with just meds. meds absolutely help. but since its not a "behavioral" illness, its not "as urgent of an illness" and i need to focus on my "REAL PROBLEMS" of anxiety and depression

which?????? what the fuck does "behavioral" even MEAN???? agoraphobia absolutely is behavioral, i cant fucking leave my house by myself, and BARELY with trusted people since ive regressed so bad due to covid panic. it effects my daily life and my "real issues" of anxiety and depression are actually fucking SYMPTOMS OF AGORAPHOBIA.

i will give credit where credit is due, but doctors (esp psychs) are NOT magical gods of medical knowledge that people hold them to be. living with a nurse ive learned that doctors are actually pretty fucking dumb and that they're really just "management/public relations" in hospitals. ive had a lot of bad experiences with doctors. so no i do not just trust them and tell them everything, they've probed to me countless times that they're not listening anyway.

and the reason why i put quotes around "honest" is because im not lying to them, but

idk how y'all's psych appointments go, but mine are literally just this conversation

"hi! how are you doing today?"

eh. im surviving haha

"hahaha yeah we all are. any panic attacks?"

ohhhh yeah hahahaha. plenty.

"oh! okay well lets move on, how is your add?"

i cant really focus on anything for more than like an hour but... at least i get that hour?

"well ya gotta just take the time ya got to do what ya need! how about the depression?"

well, i can barely leave my bedroom, which is covered in garbage because i cant go outside to take them to the trash and thats pretty depressing

"hahaha awww, im sorry to hear that. well, im sending your prescriptions to the pharmacy, see ya next month!"

i dont even have an opportunity to be honest. its so fast.

i dont want to have to find a new doctor because ive literally had to fight tooth and nail to find someone who would prescribe me anything that can actually HELP me, aka my vallium, which is a hell of a lot more difficult to get than any other fucking benzo for some reason???? the only others ive been prescribed was xanx, kpins. xanx is nice but its too temporary. its for when you're having an anxiety attack, not for general anxiety like valium is. and kpins?? mannnnnn FUCK KLONOPIN THAT SHIT DID NOTHIN.

idk i guess rant over for now thanks for not reading this long dumb post where i cry about not being properly medicated and being actively neglected & abused by doctors who literally don't believe in agoraphobia & refuse to acknowledge its existence or the consequences it has on both my mental state and my physical state.

#ill.txt #mental health #ugh #agoraphobia

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magioftheseas · 4 years ago

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What’s your opinion on each of the sdr2 boys? you don’t have to answer but I’d like to hear it so if ya want...

Well, since you posted how you feel about the SDR2 girls’ writing, how would you rank the SDR2 boys’ writing?

Oh man, one of these asks is so old but you’ll forgive me, right?

So, I’ll do both of these!!! The ranking btw is for the writing not personal feelings which I hope comes across because even if a guy’s at the bottom, that definitely doesn’t make him the worst boy!!! I swear! I SWEAR!!!!!!

Good Tier

Kuzuryuu - Definitely the most solid with development and everything. Wish it wasn’t piggybacking off of fridging Peko (and his sister), but ngl I’m always kind of a sucker of the shitty tough guy learning to mellow the fuck out, and I like Kuzuryuu also being like...probably the most mature of the characters, which is sad but also funny. (Overall opinion is that he’s good! Very good! Definitely worthy of Best Boy title if he’s your type!)

Komaeda - My boyyyyyy. Super intricate and interesting with a worldview that’s both simplistic and complex. I love him so, so much. And his attraction to Hinata is humanizing! Love that! Unfortunately, he’s still super demonized and having that happen to your character who is explicitly mentally ill is super uncool. Also, while I do like how and why he decided to die, I don’t feel like that death was worth him getting cut out and used as a prop for Nanami. If he had been kept alive, it would’ve been way better and less urghhhhhh. Or we could’ve, should’ve had more introspection as a result of the impact his character had, similar to what I wished for with Mikan. But, nah. Fuck changing your view as the result of being challenged, I guess. (Overall opinion is that I would die for him.)

Kamukura - Is being included because yes. He only appears briefly, but what’s there is just so interesting and good! He’s an empty person who is only driven by spite and revenge against those who wronged him, and yet it’s also implied that deep down, he doesn’t want to die. It’s so sad! But intriguing! His motivations are clarified in dr0 (such as the fact that he was framed by Junko for the murders of the student council, but also with the added implied bit that even HPA was prepared to kill him in order to cover their ass), but even so, it’s so deeply tragic that Kamukura was made for the sake of ego (both Hinata’s ego and the ego of HPA), and he found himself getting used which lead to him willing risk his existence to take down everything in one fell swoop despite that not being a guarantee. Wahhhh. (Overall opinion is that it sure is a shame WE DON’T SEE HIM EVER AGAIN, not counting TDP.)

Could’ve Been Okay But URGH Tier

Hinata - My other boy. He sure is the other boy. In all seriousness, Hinata *is* probably my personal fave of the protagonists even if I think the Naegis are better written. I love his conflict of having such a severe superiority complex that he’s willing to throw out everything about himself in order to live up to it. I love how his desperate need to prove himself is, like, to himself. He’s so self-centered in such interesting ways. Unfortunately Nanami is his prop and is given the emotional brunt of forcing his development, which sucks. (Overall opinion is that he’s definitely Kodaka’s self-insert but it’s free real estate when writing fics so he’s MY SELF-INSERT NOW.)

Twogami - THE BEST ENBY. Twogami was such a good character with several layers of tragedy and tbh they’re a major reason why it’s great that no one actually dies in sdr2 besides Nanami. There’s something about not having any identity to call your own so you try to be someone important but like...it’s painfully obvious you aren’t that person because you have strong morals and a good heart which powerful people often don’t have due to detachment and corruption. It’s something I can relate to. And as a character, that they gave their life to protect Komaeda was so heartbreaking. It’s such a good thing Twogami isn’t actually dead! Sadly though we do have issues with the writing because fat character obsessed with food, haha, but... I mean Twogami’s the only one like that in dr and Owari’s the same way for the same reason so I guess it’s not the worst...still iffy though. (Overall opinion is that they’re good! However due to being the first victim, they’re not given a LOT of complexity and what complexity they have doesn’t hold a candle to bby girl Sayaka Maizono but I mean they’re still a good character for what’s there.)

Just URGH Tier

Tanaka - Lmao, unpopular opinion alert but I just don’t think he’s very good! For one thing, he’s kinda...barely there for the longest time. He’s even the only character who has zero speaking lines in the first scene with the entire class. There are at least a few scenes where he contributes very little to the conversation. In general, he has little to offer until about Chapter 4, in which he makes up lies about how totally important he thinks survival is when that wasn’t really a major concern of his before and I’m PRETTY SURE he stole that from Nidai anyway. Super annoying but like, hey. At least that romantic subplot was okay. And, sure, if you like this character type, you could do worse. You could also do better. (Overall opinion is that I like his hamsters but that’s about it.)

Teruteru - He’s absolutely the most loathsome fucker that deserves more shit kicked out of him than any amount of sympathy, bUT... This is about writing, not about likability, and like, he’s written...okay. For one thing, his creepiness isn’t excused nor elaborated on, thank fucking god. But as for what’s actually there, it’s at least something. He’s got actual character traits that could potentially make him interesting, such as his shame about his background despite clearly holding a lot of love for it. Like, that’s a good internal conflict to have. If that was all there was, I’d be pretty partial towards him, especially with his design being very cute. Alas.................... (Overall opinion is that Kamishiro’s better.)

Souda - The comic relief for dgrp tends to be mean-spirited and of the guys, Souda is more comic relief than character so he tends to be a fucking asshole and a creep. It’s a shame because his backstory’s sympathetic but the dude has like, no character arc. He’s just...lucky in that he wasn’t killed. He also kind of forces himself into the social situations, namely with Hinata and Sonia which isn’t really cute when Souda doesn’t treat either of them that well. If you like his character type, eh... You can do much, MUCH better when it comes to bro-y kinda abrasive best dude friends. Again, you can do worse, but those are usually romantic comedies not like...whatever dgrp is. I don’t think I’d say that I hate him though. He’s just frustrating. (Overall opinion is that I think Yosuke Hanamura is more what this character should’ve been like.)

Nidai - I do adore Nidai but it’s so obvious that the writing doesn’t give a shit about him. It’s pretty painful. He’s inconsistently portrayed too, because sometimes he’s a compassionate and surprisingly perceptive guy who encourages others to push past their potential. Other times he’s a bumbling oaf who barely considers others because it’s more comedic. Any depth he could’ve had is often just relegated to shit jokes, figuratively and literally. Even his FTEs are painfully repetitive. Sucks, man. (Overall opinion is...me just sobbing.)

#Magi answers #anonymous #critical #sdr2 spoilers #why did this take me SO LONG #GOD #I just realized that I ranked both jocks at the bottom of these I SWEAR I'M NOT ANTI JOCK

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eldritchsurveys · 5 years ago

Text

834.

How have you been feeling lately? Have you been doing ok? >> Eh. As long as nothing unpredictable happens, I’m mostly fine... but I’ve also had at least two meltdowns in the past week, so “mostly fine” is obviously a cover-up of some sort. I don’t really know what to do about it, so I am kind of just holding my breath through every day, hoping I don’t lose it over something trivial.

Are you currently in quarantine? >> No, the stay-at-home order has been lifted. Still not really going anywhere, though.

Do you wear a mask when you go to the store? >> We didn’t this past weekend, which I don’t feel great about, but I ordered a bandana yesterday so I’ll hopefully have it before this coming weekend.

Does your state require people to wear masks in stores? >> Well, they say they require it, but we were definitely not the only people in stores without masks on. So I don’t know what the deal is with that. I think maybe stores are weighing how much it’s worth having to deal with irate customers who can’t stand being turned away for not complying with the mask rule (Michigan is, after all, the state where armed protesters stormed the capitol building to harass the governor for extending the stay-at-home order...). Regardless, now that I will actually have a face covering next time, I’m going to use it.

Do you know anyone who's had the coronavirus? >> No.

What was the last sweet treat you ate? >> I ate part of a lemon coconut cookie.

Was it a nice day out today? >> It’s pretty nice, yeah.

Is the weather nice where you live usually? >> Usually? I wouldn’t say that. Winter lingers around here for a long time, and winter does not usually bring pleasant weather (in my opinion). Also, we get a lot of wacky lake-effect weather.

What was the last thing you ordered online? >> A bandana. It has a Baphomet on it, heh.

Are you expecting a package right now? >> Well, yeah, the bandana. Should be here Thursday or Friday (it’d better be, considering I paid extra for quicker shipping).

Have you ever ordered anything from Wish? If so, what did you buy, and did you feel it was worth it? >> I haven’t, but Sparrow’s ordered stuff from them. I think she likes everything she’s gotten (although she hasn’t gotten everything she’s ordered, which is annoying).

Are you a youtuber? If so, are you consistent with uploads? and how many subscribers do you have? >> I am not, nor would I ever be, a youtuber.

What is one thing you hate about summer? >> Heat waves. I like warmth, but too hot is too hot.

Did you go outside today? >> Not yet.

What is the name of your youtube channel, if you have one? >> ---

What was the name of the last store or restaurant that overcharged you? >> I can’t recall being overcharged anywhere.

Is your room more often messy or clean? >> On the cleaner side than the messier side.

Who is someone you miss? >> ---

What is something you miss? >> ---

Do you feel like your emotions are often haywire? >> I feel like that pretty frequently, yeah. I’m either having no emotions or having a veritable perfect storm of them, and I’d really like to find a fucking balance at some point.

Have you ever received a misdiagnosis from a doctor? >> I’ve mostly received misdiagnoses from doctors.

Have you ever been "diagnosed" with a mental illness from an online friend? who is not a doctor? If yes, isn't that frustrating? >> Nah, I’ve not had that experience.

Do you have any friends that you can trust and tell everything to? >> ---

What was the name of your favorite roommate you've had? >> ---

Do you have a favorite book that you've read multiple times? >> Yeah, there are a few books I’ve read multiple times.

What's one book or book series that you've read multiple times? >> I’ve read Dreamcatcher by Stephen King at least twice.

Have you ever had an embarrassing bathroom accident? >> Yeah.

What was the name of the funniest kid you've ever babysat? >> ---

Do you enjoy babysitting? >> Never done it.

Do you have any big regrets? >> No.

Are there things about your past that bother you? >> I mean... I’m post-traumatic, lmao.

What was the last thing you saw or read on social media that made you angry? >> That doesn’t really happen to me.

Do you often post about controversial topics on facebook? >> I don’t post on facebook at all.

Do you think it's a good idea to post about serious topics on social media? or do you think that it's better to discuss serious topics in person? >> I think that a lot of misunderstanding happens on social media that could possibly be avoided or at least worked through with more efficiency in person. I do say possibly, because like, who knows, really. But there are many discussions I wouldn’t bother getting into on social media (especially where other people can see it and jump in with their two cents), that I might be more willing to discuss one-on-one with a person in a controlled environment. Which is why I hate that people don’t use IM/DM functions more often for working through sensitive topics (like “I have a problem with something you said in [x] post and I would like to work it out with you” or whatever), instead of turning it into a public fucking debate.

What was your favorite book you had to read for school? >> Their Eyes Were Watching God.

Have you ever failed a class and had to repeat it? >> No, I got no credit for a class and had to repeat it.

What class in school did you hate the most? >> All of them lmao

Have you ever wanted to be a teacher? >> Fuck no.

What's one childhood dream that has stuck with you, and one that has not? >> ---

Would you want to re-live your childhood over again if you could? >> FUCK NO.

Which do you like more: being an adult or being a kid? >> I vastly prefer being an adult where I have at least some semblance of agency and control over my own life, instead of being subject to the whims of people who don’t actually care about what I want or need or feel but are mostly thinking about what they want out of me.

At what age were you when you started to feel like you were mature enough to offer others advice? >> I don’t recall having this thought, like, ever. I offer advice when someone’s asked for it and I feel like I have some to offer. I don’t give a fuck what my age is.

Did your parents smoke or drink when you were growing up? >> No.

Do you enjoy bonfires? >> Yes.

Have you ever stepped on a sparkler? >> No.

What, do you know of, are you allergic to? >> Nothing.

Have you ever ridden in an ambulence? >> Yep, front and back.

What is your favorite version of the Bible to read, if applicable? >> I prefer the NIV for just regular reading, but ngl, the KJV has some turns of phrase that can be really poetic-sounding in certain verses.

Do you follow trends? or are you a trendsetter? >> Literally neither. I just do what I want.

Has anyone ever described you as a trendsetter? >> No.

Do you know anyone who used to be loving, but then turned cold? List three people you've known whom this has happened to. >> I don’t know anyone like that, which is good, because that is definitely red-flag behaviour.

What SAT subjects, if any, did you get a perfect score in? >> ---

What were your best subjects in school? and what was your favorite subject in school? >> ---

Have you ever been abused by a parent or legal guardian? >> Yes.

Do you have a lot of wounds from your past? >> Nope. Not a single one.

Has anyone ever called you a jerk? >> Probably.

Are you a jerk? >> Probably.

What color were your bedroom walls in high school? >> I assume they were the Nothing(tm) colour that is standard in apartment complexes.

Is there a girl or guy you wish you hadn't let slip away? >> No.

Is there an old friend that you miss and would like to reconnect with? >> No.

Who has hurt you the most? >> Sigh.

Have you been bullied? >> Yes.

Which talent show, if any, would you most like to audition for? and have you auditioned for one? >> I would rather die.

Do you know anyone who's auditioned for American Idol? >> No, but I know someone who auditioned for X Factor, which is largely the same concept.

Is there someone you think should audition that hasn't yet? >> No. I don’t think anyone should audition for those stupid ass shows.

What time of day do you usually feel your best? >> There is no time of day when that’s likely to happen. It depends more on my actual mental state than what time of day it is.

What's one way in which you've changed within the last ten years? >> Oh, you know, stuff.

Do you feel like time goes by fast, or slow? >> To me, it just... passes?

Who do you know who has died of cancer? >> No one.

Has there been cancer in your family? >> I don’t know.

Have you ever stayed overnight in a hospital, and if so, what for? >> Yeah. For being suicidal, or for being self-injurious, or because people just plain thought it’d be a fun thing to do to me, I don’t fucking know.

Have you ever been a victim of police misconduct? >> No.

Have you ever been so angry you wanted to sue someone? >> That... would be such a strange response to being angry at someone. For me, anyway. I don’t know, maybe it makes sense to other people. I stick to Old Reliable -- wanting to beat them to a pulp or something.

Have you ever been a victim of racism? >> I mean, probably.

Have you ever deleted a friend on facebook for making racist comments? >> No. Luckily, that’s never happened to me.

What was the last thing you ate? >> Veggie burger and chips.

What was the theme of your senior prom? >> Damned if I remember, that was like 15 years ago.

Did you go to prom? >> Yeah.

Have ever been engaged or married? >> Yeah.

Are you an aunt or uncle? >> Technically.

Do you live to glorify God and to do His will? >> No.

Are you happy with the way you are living your life day-to-day right now? >> I mean, there are worse ways to live. At least I get to decide for myself what I do with my day.

Do you feel like your life was better or worse six years ago? >> It was definitely worse. That’s not even something to question.

Have you ever made a huge, catastrophic mistake? >> I don’t think any of my mistakes qualify for such a dramatic adjective.

What's one need of yours that is currently not being met? >> ---

Do you feel like you are currently in a state of suffering? and that not all of your basic needs are being met? If so, how long have you been in a state of suffering? >> Not that kind of suffering, no -- I’ve been in that state, where most of my basic needs were not at all being met, and I’m very grateful to not have to live like that anymore. Unfortunately, living like that for extended periods of time tends to have lasting effects, which is [part of] what I’m dealing with right now.

Do you hate social injustice? >> Nah, I love it. It’s just great. It’s the best thing ever--

Are you happy with the current social class you are in? >> I’m in that strange limbo where I, as an individual, am poverty-class, but since I am part of a household where the other person works a relatively okay job for a living, I get the benefits of being working-class. We’re still low-income by modern urban standards, though. Anyway, I’m fine with that for the most part, but that’s also because I’m used to being literally penniless so anything is better than that.

Do you feel like you are being given what you deserve right now? >> What the fuck do I deserve? What does that even mean? No one owes me anything.

Life isn't fair. True or false? >> I mean, true, I guess.

Do you hate that life is so unfair? >> I don’t really think about life that way. It’s people who have the option to be fair or unfair (and who have the option to perceive of things as fair or unfair); life is just... life.

Name a few people who seem to have everything handed to them. >> I don’t know anyone like that.

Who do you go to when you're upset? >> Can Calah.

Do you pray less or more than you did 5 years ago? >> I didn’t pray then and I don’t pray now, so... the same.

Do you pray a lot? >> No.

Do you frequently have back pain? >> No.

What's the worst side effect you've experienced for a medication? and what's the worst withdrawal effect you've experienced from a medicine? >> The last time I recall having side effects to medications is when I was being put on various psychiatric drugs as a teenager, but I don’t really remember any of the specifics except... being exhausted all the time (because I remember falling asleep in classes and being reprimanded for it like I’m doing it on fucking purpose).

Have you ever used an epi pen? >> No.

What's a name that you like but probably wouldn't use for one of your kids? >> ---

What's you name, and do you like it? >> Mordred. Of course I do.

Would you prefer to give your kids common names or unique names? >> ---

Do you feel like anybody values you in the way that you deserve? >> There’s that word deserve again. Anyway, yes, I’m sure someone values me well enough. Probably.

Who have you felt the most valued by? >> I guess Sparrow values me, or we wouldn’t be married. That’s how that works, right?

Have you ever been treated like you were inferior? >> Yes.

What was the name of the biggest bully in your high school? >> ---

Do you ever sleep outside? >> I’ve slept outside before, yes.

How many siblings do you have? >> ---

Are you the oldest, youngest, middle, or only child? >> I was raised as the only child in the household. I was the youngest of my father’s children.

How many kids do you want to have? >> Zero, ideally.

Do you want to get married? >> It’s already been done.

Best date you've been on? >> ---

Dream date? >> ---

Ever kissed someone on New Year's? >> Yeah.

Have you ever had an experience so good you felt like you were flying? >> Probably.

Have you ever been in so much pain you prayed that you would die? >> Yep.

What brings you the most joy? >> Uh... hmm. Good question. I’ll get back to you on that. Someday.

What is your passion; what is it that would bring you the most joy and fulfillment in life? >> I don’t think I have any passions.

Have you ever laid your dreams aside because someone else wanted you to? >> Well, fortunately for everyone else, I don’t really have any dreams.

Who supports you in everything you do? >> Sparrow is pretty supportive when I bother to do stuff.

Who always tries to stop you whenever you try to go after your dreams? >> ---

Do you believe in following your heart, in going after your dreams? >> I think that if someone has a dream, then sure, they should try to see it through. But I also think that sometimes it just ain’t worth it. It’s up to the person to make that determination, though, not me. Personally, I don’t really know what it’s like to have a dream, so it’s not like I can relate or anything.

Do you wish other people would want you to be happy? >> I don’t think people want me to suffer or anything. I think that in general, people aren’t really thinking about me at all.

Do you wish you had someone who loved and supported you? >> I do. I wish I had the capacity to feel loved and supported.

#surveys #survey #random survey

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professor-maka · 6 years ago

Note

#14 pls! :D “I come to the library every day to ‘study’ but really I’m just watching Netflix over your shoulder and I’m really invested in this series and the day we’re supposed to be watching the season finale you’re not there and I??? Feel personally betrayed??”

Ask and you shall receive. ❤️ I hope you like!

Thanks to @sahdah and @macabremermaid for the eyes.

—

“HBO and Chill”

She can’t afford HBO, not making her own way through school, so Maka had never really worried what shows it airs. Why pine for what you can’t afford?

But then, he’d changed all that, the white haired kid who goes to the library to study every Sunday night, like clockwork. Sometimes he comes at 6, and sometimes he rolls in at 8,but he’s always there, just like her. But unlike her, he always takes a break to stream on his laptop.

The first night, Maka had been pissed—sure it isn’t a quiet study floor, but who streams in thelibrary without headphones? She’d been fuming but also curious. Game of Thrones? She’d read the books—had wished she could watch the series—but alas!

Fuming gave way to interest, and instead of confronting him like she thought about during the first 15 minutes, Maka had found herself watching over his shoulder as hequeued up two more episodes that night, and, reading abandoned for the evening, she found herself wondering when the hell she was going to get to watch more.

Maka had been damn near lowering herself to ask her shithead papa for the gift of HBO, sulking in the library as she did her reading and itched for more in the saga of Starks andLannisters, when her thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of someone moving in to occupy the table in front of hers, the same table she claims every Sunday. She nearly gasped when she realized it was him again, the white hairedboy from the previous Sunday, the one with HBO, the same one she’d seen around campus and in the back of a few of her classes, silent as as stone.

Maybe he’d watch again, she thought. She hoped. Although, Maka reminded herself, he’d surely be ahead by now and she has always hated skipping episodes. Disappointment hadflooded her as she poked her nose back into her book and there was nothing but yawning quiet, the scratch of her pen, the click of his keys. And then, she heard it. The theme song! And it was… the next episode!

She barely pretended to read that time as he watched three more episodes straight.

That had been months ago, early in the semester, and now, the semester is nearly at an end and so is the series and she can’t wait! Because by some miracle, he clearly only watches at the library on Sunday nights, right when she’s there to see it, and Maka has become invested.

The finale is tonightand she isn’t even pretending to study, she’s so wound. She needs to know what happens. The show has far outpaced the books and waiting is torture,but Maka knows he’ll be here by 9 to livestream like he has been for weeks.Well, maybe she should at least make a stab at studying. Sure she’s got As sofar in her classes, but finals still matter.

Nine o’clock hits and he’s not there. He’s never not there, not all semester, so where is he?

Ten PM hits and she’s inthe first stage of grief, mourning the loss of her livestream. But surely he’llshow and stream, even if it’s a little late. Eleven hits and with it comes the anger. Why now? Why tonight? How dare he string her along through 8 seasons only to deny her the finale!

Fists clenched, Maka makes a decision. Maybe not the most rational decision, but she’s more than a little desperate. Apparently, laptop boy is friends with Blake—she knows because she’d seen them playing one on one together as she passed the courts afew times—so she can find out where he lives or his number or something and—and—

Well, she doesn’t know, but desperate times, desperate, desperate times.

Clicking Blake’s speed dial on her cell, Maka rolls her eyes at his answers of, “Yo, this is your godspeaking, whatcha want?” That being a god brother makes him her actual god ishis personal joke; only he finds it funny.

“I need—a favor.” She sounds more sheepish than she means to, feels silly, almost hangs up, but—

“Sure, shoot, anything for my favorite minion.”

“Uh, so, eh—“ she stammers through his guffaw at her inability to spit it the fuck outalready. But she’s Maka Albarn and if she’s anything, she’s brave, so she pushes on. “That, uh, weird kid with the white hair you play basketball with—“

“Who, Eater? What, you got a thing for him or—“

“Nooo, he just—wait, his name is Eater?”

The guffaw is louder this time. “Nah, not his name name, it’s just what I like to call my newest minion, keep up.”

“And I thought BlackStar was bad,” she mutters, face flaming. Eater. Knowing Blake, she tells herself she doesn’t want to know.

“Yeah, whatever, anyway, Maks, what do you want with my boy Soul? Never pegged you for being into the emo type but, like, no judgement.”

Well, Soul isn’t so bad a name. She finds she likes it. Much better than Eater, anyway.

“I’m not into anyone.” She manages not to snap even if she’s seething in mortification. “He—uh—forgot something at the library and I wanted to try to get ahold of him to—“

“Yeah, yeah, alright,I’ll text you his contact, gotta go, they set up the beer pong table, laterloser.”

Black Star will be BlackStar. At least he texts her the contact, and of course it’s under Eater. Figures, but whatever, she just needs to find out why the hell he ditched her.

She’s already pressed to call and let it ring several times when she realizes all at once she has absolutely zero business bothering him. Because, sure, he’d strung her along like a kitten with a string, laying out all 8 seasons before her like a buffet of medieval shenanigans, but it’s not like he’d done it on purpose.

The end call button gets pushed so fast it might have been the key to stopping the apocalypse. Really, it sort of is. Maka drops her phone on the table like a hot potato and lets the shame wash over her—how could she let sensationalized, bawdy medieval television get such a grip on her?

Her phone vibrates and she scoops it up, craving a distraction from her own silliness.

uh do i no u —the text reads.

No, he certainly doesn’t. Maka has no idea what to do but she can’t not answer, it would be rude, so she types back:

Not really. Blake gaveme your number.

ummm okay why — he responds after a pause.

Why? She can’t exactly tell the truth but she doesn’t like lying, either.

I was worried when you didn’t show up at the library. You’re always there on Sundays at the table infront of mine. Sorry.

It’s the truth, just not all of it. Because she does feel like they’ve bonded over Game ofThrones watching it together every week, and she’s overheard phone calls with his parents and his brother and she’s gotten to know quite a lot about him. Gods, she feels like a stalker, but— but—! He’d invaded her library time, not the other way around! And he’s the one who breaks rules to talk on his cell—he’s lucky she hasn’t reported him! And—

The vibration startles her out of her spiral.

maka shit im sorry im sick running 104 was gonna go set my alarm but slept thru its the finale im sorry gimme a sec ill b there

What. The hell.

He knows her name? And that she’s been watching? And—he’s sick—and—

Don’t you move! 104 is dangerous where do you live? I’ll be right there.

Even as she thoughtlessly hits send she regrets it because what is she doing? He’s going to block her or ignore her or tell her to fuck off, or what if he’s theone who’s actually a stalker—

Vibration. It’s an address, for an apartment complex next to campus.

Be right there. Her fingers send it out before she can even think—he knows her name, he sent her his address, maybe he’s a stalker serial killer?

But she’d called him. Also like a stalker. So it makes no sense and what even is she doing with her life?

For about half a second, Maka considers blocking his number and going home, never to enter the library on a Sunday night again. But he’s running a 104 fever; he might need help!And—she’s not a coward and she’s fully capable of kicking ass if she must. AND—the Game of Thrones finale is at his beck and call.

That’s the clincher, so she packs her things and makes her way across campus. It’s nearly midnight, so Maka keeps to well lit walks, and it isn’t long before she’s at his door. She knocks and hears coughing and shuffling and then he’s opening the door, looking bedraggled in plaid pajama pants and a ratty band tee, dark smudges under his eyes, his pale hair sticking up every which way. Well, the last part isn’t sofar off from his normal, anyway, but he looks sort of pathetic with his fuzzy blue blanket over his shoulders. Endearingly so.

“Uh, so,” she says, fidgeting with the strap of her bag on her shoulder and looking at his mouth to avoid his eyes.

“You can—uh—come in.” He sounds nervous even past the unusual scratchiness of his voice, but steps back, so she steps in. He closes the door behind her and she notices he’s got a nest of blankets on his big leather couch. She’s pretty sure she can hear an episode of Chopped somewhere in the background.

“Lay down.” Maka finally takes charge, tired of them both standing so awkwardly. “You have tea?”.

He just blinks at her for a minute, shakes his head, then looks between the couch and the kitchen. “Uh, sure, I can make—“

“Nooo!” she cuts himoff. “For you. I’ll make it.”

“Maka, you don’t have to—“ it’s the first time she’s ever heard him say her name and it startles her, especially because she sort of likes it.

“I know, but I want to.Help, I mean. So lay down.” She doesn’t give him the chance to protest, just walks into his kitchen and begins opening cabinets.

“Furthest cabinet on the left,” she hears his voice call out from the living room. “Cups in the dishwasher.”

She finds the tea (loose leaf! She doesn’t expect that!) and cups and sets the electric kettle on the counter below the tea cabinet to boil.

Several minutes later,she’s got two steaming cups of green tea with an herbal blend, and she walks them out to the living room. Soul has neatened the couch and is sitting up, leaving room on the other side. His eyes are closed and he’s snoring softly. Poor boy looks pathetic, flushed and droopy. Maka sets down a tea cup on the coffee table in front of him, sets the second on the other side, and sits across from him on the couch. She means to let him rest but it’s so awkwardsitting with a sleeping not quite stranger that she clears her throat nervously.

Startling awake, he looks at her, blinks, then seems to recall the situation,

“Uh. So. Wanna watch the finale?”

It’s at least half of why she’s here, so she nods, still feeling awkward and out of place, yet absolutely determined.

They end up commenting to each other through the episode and it’s nice. Why haven’t they ever watched it together like this? Not just Maka spying and pretending not to, but actually just—together? She could have asked and sat with him but she’s been silly.

It’s a regret, but as the episode ends, they’re both too full of feelings and ideas for it to last, and they talk about the finale and the series for a good hour before she stifles a yawn and he lets out a huge sneeze and she remembers who he is and where they are.

“So um—thanks for letting me come watch.” She’s fidgeting again, this time with the hem of her hoodie.

“‘’Course. Thanks for giving a shit and taking care of me.” His smile is wide and genuine and she could maybe melt which is—silly for a lot of reasons, really—but she also remembers—

“How do you know my name?” she blurts.

“Uh.” A nervous hand musses his hair further. “We’ve had like four classes together and you—sort of stand out.”

He’s already pink with fever but his skin goes red and—is he blushing? She blushes back at the thought.

“Oh, yeah, okay, I just—uh—didn’t realize you noticed me or anything, especially at the library.”

Gods this is embarrassing.

“You weren’t exactly subtle,” his voice is gruff as he looks at his hands.

“But—“ she stammers. “Then why didn’t you just ask me to watch with you if you knew?”

“Thought you’d say no.” His eyes are still down though they flick her way for an instant.

Would she have?

Maybe. In the wrong mood. She can be stubborn, she knows. But still.

“Well, since I’m here, you were wrong.”

“Yeah, I caught that. Guess it’s too late now, anyway. Show’s done.”

It is, isn’t it.

The thought of giving up her Sunday study tv night makes her inexplicably sad. Especially since she’s here during summer and knows he is, too, from one of his calls with his brother.

“You have Hulu?” Inspiration strikes.

“Er—Uh—yeah?” He looks confused.

“Because I don’t, and I’ve been dying to watch Hamdmaid’s Tale.”

“Oh! Yeah, that’d be—cool. We could start tonight—I mean—“

“Yeah, sounds good. You clearly shouldn’t be alone with that fever and I don’t have a final until Tuesday!”

“Cool,” he repeats, calling up the Hulu menu on the television.

For her part, Maka can’thelp a slight satisfaction at having made a new friend who can afford to stream.

#ProMa writes #soma fic #soul eater fanfic #soul eater #soul x Maka

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mawbwehownets · 5 years ago

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roger: [...] i mostly...... i just take a lot of naps?

tim: [laughs] naps are like trade stops for your emotions.

roger: uh-huh.

tim: they need time to get on and off.

roger: when it gets a little bit too... too real... a lil bit too hifey. in my life. my lifey. ill just take a quick... quick naparoo. um, cause like - yknow what? it worked when i was 4, and im 20 - 26 now, and it still works pretty goddamn well. and i wake up and m friends like ‘how you doin?’ and the answers always ‘great!’ so. i guess its-

masky: [laughs] yknow, my husband has just taught me, i had no idea - so much of my emotions... are hunger based. like i had no idea - i think when we were in louisville we stopped for lunch, it was like a really late lunch at like 3 o’clock and im eatin a sandwich, hoodys like ‘do you feel better?’ i was like ‘yeah! what, wait - why???’ he was like ‘well youve just been kinda frustrated for the last two hours.’ i was like ‘oh, no, its just cause we couldnt the place we-’ he was like ‘no, its cause youre hungry.’ ‘s like oh! youre right. just needed sandwich. needed a dose of vitamin sandwich.

roger: yup, you got me... we are a bunch of fuckin. eat-beasts.

tim: yeap. we have a problem.

roger: we’re a bunch of monsters - i dont have like... i really do think i dont have that many complex emotions! i dont wanna sound like im like a free spirit or whatever over here, but like... i never feel like i have emotions that are too complex to describe. it usually really is like... ‘how are you roger’ ‘i dont know, kinda bored’, like...

tim and masky: [laugh]

roger, amused: im not joking! like im not like... ‘i just been thinking about death a lot lately-’ its really mostly like - ‘eh i dont know cat woke me up last night so im a lil bit sleepy’

tim: well, that could be the problem roger, i - i think about death a lot.

masky: you should think about death n stuff!

tim: you should think about death more -

roger: hold on, let me give it a shot - [exaggerated horror] OOOOH MY GOD, OH NO!

masky, laughing: go take a nap! roger go take a nap!

roger: NO ITS ALL GONNA STOP ONE DAY! ITS ALL JUST GONNA STOP ONE DAY! OHHHH NO NO NO NOOOOOO

tim, chuckling: and thats what your 30s are like, constantly.

roger: IM NOT GONNA BE HERE ONE DAY ITS JUST GONNA STOOOOPPPp

tim: [starts laughing]

roger: i need a naaAp

tim, still laughing: yknow that could be - could be a good thing to do during a wedding ceremony

masky and roger: [laugh]

roger: you two, ive known you your whole lives, youre so perfect for eachiTS ALL GONNA STOP ONE DAYYY NOoo no nooooo...

tim: [choked] roger, youre joking - do you know how many times [fighting back laughter] ive had that exact, like... mid conversation-

roger: [starts laughing]

tim: like - we’ll be talking about like ghost horses and shit and im like, ‘yeah and another thing about - ooOOOOH GOD IM GONNA DIE’

masky: [laughs] i actually had that conversation with someone, last night!

tim: ITS ALL GONNA STOop thinking about it, CAKE BOSS, RIGHT GUYS? GOOFS AND GOOFS AND GOOFS AND GOOFS.

roger: [losing it]

tim: we’re the ones that distract you from death, WHO IS TO DISTRACT US!!! NO ONE!

#txt #correct quotes inc.#monster hornets #hm.#existentialism cw #death cw #jbekjf #mortality cw #ask to tag #this is a very funny clip and most of that comedy comes from it being #ALARMINGLY relatable #long post #i think i should start tagging these w like. akjbef #my cousin my cousin and me #i love these three bastards being cousins

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zutaralesbian · 5 years ago

Note

Fiona Gallagher and/or katara for the character ask if that’s okay!!

Fiona Gallagher:

I love Fiona so much and I miss her. Despite how much the show dipped in quality, I think Fiona is one of the more complex female leads that I've seen. And I wish Emmy Rossum had gotten more accolades for playing her.

Fiona is waaaaay to messy of a person for me to ever want to get involved with her lol. But physically? Gorgeous.

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

I honestly have a really hard time sorting the Shameless characters for some reason so I'm shaky on this answer lol. But I think Fiona has a lot of fire in her and tends to feel things very deeply. She's also impulsive and doesn't handle disrespectful well, whether towards her or someone she loves. I thought about putting her in Slytherin but idk. I don't really see her as cunning. But like I said, I'm unsure about this.

best quality: She's a hard worker. In the early seasons she was working multiple jobs in order to support her family. And while she ended up sadly spiraling and losing almost all of it, she worked hard to get to the position she was in during S8 and the beginning of S9.

worst quality: Her taste in men. I also think she's a bit ableist. Between her attitude towards Ian's illness and the fact that it's canon that she see's Monica's bipolar as one of her biggest flaws (since she brings up during the court hearing in S3)....yeah. I do think it stems from her trauma over Monica's abandoment but it is something she should work on.

ship them with: Vanessa, Angela, Jasmine...women basically

brotp them with: All of her siblings. But I have a special soft spot for her relationship with Lip. Emmy and Jeremy had good onscreen chemistry and they're both great actors, so their scenes were always A+. Also V of course.

needs to stay away from: Shitty men

misc. thoughts: Fiona was initially my favorite Shameless character before Mickey took my heart in S4. I respected her a lot for what she did for her siblings and the way she kept pushing through despite her circumstances being, well, shit. Her characterization got really shaky in the later seasons and she frustrated me a lot. But to be fair, that was the case for most of the characters lmao. There are plenty of reasons to criticize her but some of the hate she gets from the fandom is frankly ridiculous imo. Overall I think she's a great, complex, and very well acted female character. And I miss her.

Katara:

Katara is such an amazing and powerful character! I could go on about her forever.

She's a kid

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

I think Katara is a Gryffindor for a lot of the same reasons I think Zuko is one. She has a lot of fire in her, is impulsive, very brave, and never gives up. She also has a heroism about her that just screams Gryffindor. Motivating the trapped earth benders to escape their prison. The whole Painted Lady thing. She's a textbook Gryffindor imo.

best quality: She's a very kind person but at the same time, does have her limits. She only gives her compassion to people who truly deserve it but she also has a large capacity for it.

worst quality: Idk??? I don't think there's anything I dislike about Katara. I think she does sometime become a little too impulsive when she's upset but that doesn't really irk me. Most of the time she lashed out, I thought she was justified tbh.

ship them with: Zuko ofc. Zutara...the greatest ship that never was. The fandom has also made me dig the idea of Katara/Yue.

brotp them with: Every member of the Gaang. But especially Sokka.

needs to stay away from: NA

misc. thoughts: I didn't fully appreciate Katara as a kid for some odd reason. I liked her but she wasn't one of my faves. But when I started re-watching the series as a teen....oh boy. She quickly skyrocketed to my second favorite ATLA character behind Zuko. She's so powerful. The "you can't knock me down!" will forever be one of the most iconic ATLA scenes.

Thanks! :)

#fiona gallagher #katara #shameless #atla #anonymous #answered

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yeskama · 5 years ago

Text

Prologue Draft: A Tale of Sorcery II: Dance of the Dark Dragon

The following is an unfinished draft of the prologue chapter for my next fanfic. Some pieces might make it to the final draft but I’m pretty sure most of it’s gonna end up nuked. Figured I’d share it before that happens...

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In the southwestern regions of Augustus, 25 miles from the Solidere border, the Fortress City of Delacroix stands vigil. Considered a feat of human ingenuity, she was constructed during the peak of the Agustian Empire, encompassing over 40,000 square meters of the Great Southern Lake. The steel walls surrounding her reach up to 200 feet, while her tallest towers peak at 400. Built on a solitary island, four great bridges provide entry to the mainland, each located at a cardinal point and underneath her foundations, a vast underground mining complex extracts the valued minerals of the earth. Surrounding the city are ten great spires that defend her from any act of war, be they magic, artillery or otherwise. This resilience has always been the city’s greatest boon. Indeed, the Dark Kingdom only succeeded in conquering the city by starving her citizens out. Even then, it took 2 and half years to accomplish Her accolades however don’t end there...

Behind her walls reside the finest tradesmen, crafters and scholars known worldwide. Delacroix’s Shining Star Academy has produced many great magi throughout the centuries, notably Archmage Noah. Her citizens are not only a proud and hardy people but also hospitable. The city boasts the largest demi-human and elf populations in Augustus. The Great Cathedral of Aime not only administers the Ten’s watchful eyes, but even permits other faiths to provide for their pilgrims. All these feats however will never wash away the city’s greatest shame. For it was here, six centuries ago, Lilith was sired. The very woman whose son brought the entire continent to its knees, was at a time, one of her beloved citizens...

Since it’s liberation, the governing body of Delacroix has served her Augustian masters for the past 406 years. The road between her and the capital has long been dubbed “The Golden Road” for its consistently safe conditions. For years, the gates of Delacroix stood open for all...

Now?

Her drawbridges are raised, her waters play host to dangerous beasts, and her citizens have boarded themselves within, sword and staff ready. Cannons line her walls while wyverns dominate her skies. Amongst the rolling hills of the mainland, Legion tents dot the landscape with artillery directed at the city. Bending to the banners of golden flame, the north and west bleed red, whilst across the lake, banners of the white horse stand firm as the lands bleed blue. The time is 11 at dawn and here, situated among the hills of red, two men ready their charges for afternoon drills...

“Recruit-man Lyon!” “Captain Lagnus, sir!” “You are holding your weapon incorrectly, recruit-man...” Unsheathing his own blade, he proceeds to explain. “You want your main hand resting near the guard and your off hand near the pommel. That way you have proper balance. Clutching with the hands together lessens your control...” “Thank you, sir! I will keep that in mind from now on!”

Sheathing his blade, he just gave the lad a reassuring smile and went on his way. T’was a common mistake, especially amongst enlisted civilians. After examining a few more fresh faces, Lagnus found himself staring into the clear blue sky as sweat tricked down his face.

Though the humidity had lessened since yesterday, the summer's heat was still strong. Truth be told. Lagnus himself wasn’t exactly dressed for the occasion. A man of 23 years with jet black hair and brown eyes, he had served in the Legion for six years now. A commissioned officer, he wore a standard Legion armor set but with a slight personal touch. He had it gilded to reflect his proficiency with light magic (a rather difficult element to master amongst magi) with a blue bodysuit, brown gloves and a gold circlet. Finishing the ensemble was a red cape, bearing the sigil of a gold flame on its back, reflecting the House he served under. While he looked regal in it, truthfully, it was like a mini torture cell! He wanted nothing more but to remove it but doing so would undermine his authority, or so he believed. Wiping his head, he made his way toward one of the nearby canopies wherein he took to the comfort of water, chugging away without abandon. With his thirst quenched, he sighed in delight and took a seat. T’was then another man took to the canopy, the one instructing the magi...

“Hot, Captain?” He greeted him. Lagnus just shook his head. “I can manage, my lord...” The man merely smirked as he went for a bottle of water. “I somehow doubt that...” He answered dryly

Albus Vanthe Amherst was his name and at just 17 years, his reputation preceded him. Captain of the Legion Magi Corps and heir to one of the five great noble families of Augustus. Lagnus was familiar with the stories...a generational prodigy they call him. He graduated the Augustus Magi Academy at 12, enrolled in the Severin Legion Academy at 13 before graduating a year later and quickly soaring through the ranks. It took Lagnus six years to claw his way up to Captain, a feat which Albus accomplished in four. An impressive accomplishment indeed and Lagnus was inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt...

...if not for that last name.

He had seen it before, hayseeds elevated through the ranks all on the merits of their family names. Being an orphan, Lagnus did not possess the luxury of a last name, though he was well on his way toward earning one. Regardless, it just left a sour taste in his mouth. His appearance did nothing to dissuade this notion. A face so immaculately crafted, you’d mistake it for a king’s, with piercing emerald eyes and long flowing scarlet hair. His current attire consisted of a black unbuttoned long coat with matching pants and boots, all of which had some manner of gold trimmings. Only the shirt he wore broke the trend, being a plain red in color. Clearly ill-dressed himself for the season, not that it mattered to Lagnus. He was more preoccupied with warding off the heat than anything...

“Done with your charges?” The noble asked. Lagnus nodded. “Indeed. Yourself my lord?” Albus just nodded before reaching into one of his pockets. Pulling out a bag of peanuts, he offered. “Snack?”

Eh, why not?

Rising from his seat, Lagnus stood next to the mage as the two of them picked at the bag. He hadn’t had salted peanuts since he was a boy and had long forgotten the taste. Rough and tangy but still tastey! Unfortunately, they prompted more water down the throat (the wonders of salt). As the two ate, they both looked ominously on the city. Five months have passed since Delacroix declared for independence and so far...nothing. Just what was going on in there?

“May if I inquire about something, Captain?” Albus asked “Go ahead.” “Why are you here?” Lagnus looked at the mage confused. What prompted him to ask such a thing? “What else? To do my duty. The city has rebelled against the crown. Such actions cannot be abided...” “If memory serves me correctly, did you not once call this city home?” He matched eyes with the knight. “When those drawbridges come down, rest assured, things will turn ugly. If that comes to pass...can you bring it upon yourself to draw your sword on your own neighbors?” Lagnus returned his gaze toward the city, “When we joined the Legion, we made a pledge to his majesty. A knight who cannot stay true to his word cannot be called a knight...” Albus let out a soft chuckle upon hearing this... “My friend...you are not a knight...” Lagnus just flashed a brief smile as he went for some more peanuts. “Give it time, my lord.”

It was around this time a figure ascended the hill on horseback. His face concealed by , he was on horseback and had three prisoners in tow, bound by rope and their faces concealed by sacks. One was an adult woman wearing a red maid outfit. Lagnus was well aware of its significance, only those serving one of Delacroix’s governing families wore red. The other two were just children, a boy and a girl. Arriving before the canopy, the shrouded figure dismounted and knelt before them...

“Sir Lagnus, Lord Albus...I have fulfilled my task...” Albus applauded the man as he rose to his feet. “So I see! Well done good sir! Let us meet with uncle, I'm sure he’ll find these arrivals most pleasing...”

Amherst command took up residence in a quaint tent near the lakeside. Inside, sigils of the golden flame stood proud whilst men and women of scarlet (or blonde) hair and green eyes seated themselves before a long table. Food and wine took residence upon its fine surface while its masters discussed strategy, charted maps and schemed against their political enemies. Situated in the back and installed on the most decorated seat was the Lord Victor Penton Amherst, current head of House Amherst, chief advisor to his royal highness and, both figurative and literally, the most powerful man in camp.

Of course, upon first impressions, one would hardly come to such a conclusion. A man of 55 years, Victor had already gone through three wives and sired six children, only one of which, survived to this day. At a mere 5 feet, he looked like an ant seated amongst giants, though none dared to make such a jest. His scarlet hair, now lessening and brushed backward, had dulled to the that of light ginger. This extended to the thick goatee he grew to mask his weathering features. The parts of his face visible were suitably worn, highlighting his high cheekbones and the creases under his eyes, which like the rest of his family, were a deep emerald in color. Whilst his present company were outfitted in decorative raiment, Victor settled on a simple black leather doublet, with matching pants and boot. Situated on his lap and was the Amherst family heirloom, a great tome bearing the family’s ancestral sigil, a golden flame over a red field. The tome itself bore the family’s greatest creation; a magic spell forged from over 200 years of generational knowledge...

Hellfire

Whilst the others squabbled amongst themselves, Lord Victor kept silent, his attention focused on a letter addressed from his majesty. A solemn man, he was not one for small talk, only speaking when he deemed it necessary. Only Albus’s arrival would pry him away from the whims of his king...

“Lord Uncle!” He shouted over the ruckus. Upon the declaration, the whole tent immediately went quiet. Raising his head up, he watched as his nephew hurried to his side.

“What is it Albus?” he asked. Contrary to Lord Victor’s size, his voice was deep and strong. “Have there been any new developments from the city?” Albus just smiled and shook his head. “Afraid not, my lord. But we have procured some...bargaining chips.” Signaling to the entrance of the tent, he shouted...

“Bring them in!”

Lagnus escorted the bound maid while the cloaked figure gently prompted the children in. All eyes were on the pair as they unmasked the captives. The maid was a young woman with short blonde hair and blue eyes, probably in her early to mid 20’s. Her eyes bore a tremendous fury toward the tent’s occupants though she stayed her tongue. Lagnus maintained his composure but was quite dismayed by her unveiling...

For he knew this woman...

Thankfully t’was not the maid the Amhersts were interested In. Rather, their attention was focused on the children. A delicate looking pair for sure, certainly no older than 8. Both bore eyes of red, hair of orange and were outfitted in sleepwear typically reserved for the upper-class. These factors lead little doubt concerning their identities. Like the maid, their mouths remained silent but instead of fury in their eyes, terror took front stage. This fear intensified as the short man in black approached them, his great red tome tucked under his left arm. Kneeling down to the boy, he gently grabbed the lad’s chin and studied. The boy, whose eyes were tightly shut, began to cry...

“Open your eyes boy!” The man asked sternly.

He did as asked and was instantly met by the man’s emerald gaze. He stared intently before breaking his gaze and looking up to the Shrouded Man, who’s head bowed in respect.

“There is no mistaking it. This is indeed Lord Ville’s son...”

Raising to his feet, he ordered all present save his nephew, Lagnus and the shrouded man to leave. Once the tent was emptied, he gave the order to a nearby sentry to escort the children to one of the prisoner’s tents and double camp security. He was taking no chances. As the children left the tent, the shrouded figure snapped his fingers and suddenly, their tears and sniffles were now audible. The display brought a rare smirk to Lord Victor. A silence incantation? Very clever indeed...

“Remove those rags and rest yourself. You’ve more than earned it...”

The figure did as commanded and discarded his concealments, revealing a young man with short chestnut brown hair and piercing brown eyes. Seating himself at the table, he proceeded picking at the ham as Lord Victor wandered over to the maid, eyeing her curiously...

“Who is this?”

The brown-haired youth looked upward and responded, “A servant who got a bit too nosy for her own good...” The cup now full, he took a quick swig and continued, “Give her credit, she was the only one in the Ville household that didn’t buy my story...” Breaking eye contact, he looked downward, “When the opportunity to abduct the kids arose, she was waiting for me in the girl’s bedroom...” He paused briefly before finishing “Not wanting to take any risks, I brought her along...”

The maid glared furiously at the man, struggling to free herself while her mouth silently flapped like mad. Lagnus tightened his grip, garnering him an ugly look from the young woman before she returned her gaze to the brown-haired man. Without warning, she suddenly felt a vicious strike against her left cheek. The blow was strong, so much so, her head swung as she fell to her knees. A red bruise burned brightly on her face and as she struggled to open her left eye, she felt someone grip her cheeks. Orbs of green gazed into her sole opened eye, a horrifying fire having awakened within them...

“If you value your life wench, you will compose yourself...” The Lord Amherst growled. “The Golden Flame has no time for fools. I suggest you prepare yourself for questioning...less you want something unpleasant to befall those children...”

As the maid was escorted out, Lord Victor returned to his seat. Albus took a seat next to his uncle whilst Lagnus sat across from the Brown Haired Man. Lord Victor eyed him inquisitively before asking...

“Have you charted the city’s entire sewer system?” Nodding, the man pulled out three folded papers from his pocket and set them on the table. A brief smirk crossed Victor’s lips upon seeing them. It had been three months since he departed for the city. An insider them tipped off that the city intended to declare for independence. Only the royal family was privy to the city’s one weakness, and even then, their knowledge of it was lacking. Victor sent his newest acquisition into the city before the drawbridges were rose, complete with fake identifications to clear him as a Ville servant. Needless to say, the lad passed with flying colors. Passing the pitcher of wine around, all four pour their goblets and the Lord Amherst raised a glass...

“To you Canne, let us celebrate this moment as one!” “Here, Here!” Albus chimed. “Aye...” Lagnus agreed quietly. Canne kept his silence, his eyes closed as he sipped his wine. Once everyone had their fill, he asked...

“Will the children be harmed?” The question surprised Albus who softly chuckled. “Well, that all depends on Lady Ville! As we are all privy, every woman’s sole weakness is their children...Why else would we assign you to her?” Albus smirked as he raised to goblet to his mouth for another sip before continuing. “I’m rather shocked Canne! Even after three months as a servant you still possess that small-town naiveté? I would think it quashed by now...” Though he did not see it, Canne shot Albus an ugly glance as the noble returned to his cup...

“Is it not strange though?” Lagnus interjected. “What is?” Albus eyed him. “How many of the council seats have changed in the past 6 months? Lord Ville’s sudden death notwithstanding, both the Rochester and Hanniver heads passed away two weeks apart! The Cushings being replaced by the Lees? The disappearance of Lord Dolle and his daughter? And the Monevs being given a seat?! So much has happened amongst the city’s top brass that it’s near impossible to ignore!” Looking at Canne, Lagnus asked “Did you hear anything notable during the past three months?” Canne simply shook his head...

“Nothing significant save rumors and gossip. Amongst the staff, the prevailing belief was that Lady Ville poisoned her husband, though just as many say otherwise. Though the daly atmosphere amongst the household was fairly dismal...”

“Our mission is quell the uprising, not speculate on it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The chapter would have ended with Victor sending Canne eastward to acquire some “important desirables” his majesty requested in the letter (though what they were would not be revealed).

The only noteworthy thing about this was that in earlier stages, Lemres was present. Originally, Lemres was the one training the mages and would pose the question if Lagnus was comfortable with the situation. These interactions were repurposed for Albus with minor adjustments (Albus was always intended to appear, instead he would have been introduced in the Amherst tent).

Why was this changed?

1.) I have reservations about Sega characters appearing in the story so early. Maybe further down the road but not so soon.

2.) Lemres serving in the Legion is just too out of character of him. Also, the implication that he would have no problem blasting rebels on the grounds of treason was just pushing it.

#madou monogatari #puyo puyo #lagnus #fanfic #alternate universe #unfinished #draft

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violet-bookmark · 6 years ago

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The devil between us, by S.C Wilson

Remember the book I was reading during the train ride and that made me finish RAR? This was it. I bought it for the same reasons as La bastarda: saw it somewhere, synopsis looked great, read the free sample of the prologue and immediately wanted it because the plot looked promising and the writing style was beautiful and captivating yet simple. A lot of people, straight people included, seemed to love it: it was one of Amazon's #1st best sellers of 2018! What could possibly go wrong?

A lot, as the first chapter showed me.

Massive trigger warnings for rape and murder. If these are things that affect you, please be cautious when reading this book, or just skip chapter five completely. I am not triggered by these things and even I had a panic attack while reading because it was fucking horrifying.

This book starts in the year 1853, during the Californian Golden Rush. It tells the story of Jessica Pratt, a young girl who lives with her lovely family near Mount Perish. This life does not last long for her, as her family is all horribly murdered during the first chapter. She manages to escape, and after being found by a mysterious woman who lives by herself in the mountains, she begins to live with her in the wilderness. After a decade, circumstances force her to leave the mountain and to seek civilization again, concretely on the town of Ely. Since it is dangerous for a young woman to travel alone, she disguises herself as Jesse, a young man who ends up catching the eye of the town's sweetheart and singer, Abby.

The writing style was amazing; very evocative yet simple, not falling into the mistake of being too convoluted. It striked the balance between descriptive, beautiful and natural perfectly, letting the story flow at a very easy pace and trapping the reader between its pages in no time. Despite its bleak beginning I found myself reading it eagerly and not even realising how far down the story I was. I had no problem imagining the scenery, and the action was described in a very cinematic way, easy to visualize. The setting is also well done and cohesive, but I can't talk much about the realistic side of things since I am not very familiar with that time period. It was definitely detailed enough to feel like the author cared about realism.

The plot was good: I was surprised by how romantic it was, as I expected something more like "the protagonist tracks down the men who killed her family and takes her revenge, getting a girlfriend in the process", or at least something far more thriller-like, since the prologue is about the protagonist about to die from a bullet wound. Instead, the story had much less action and was more focused on Jessica/Jesse as a character and her growth as a person, her fear of her true sex being found out, her budding romantic relationship with Abby and her maternal relationship with Frieda. This disappointed me a little because I expected something else from the plot, but I also didn't like it because Jessica/Jesse's character development was not as well done as it could have been.

Let's start by her character development: her sadness felt unrealistic. She just lost her family, she had nightmares about her parents being murderer and her sister being raped, but it was all very linear before the ending. She never felt rage, or frustration, or any type of "bad" emotion outside of fear and sadness. Her trauma doesn't evolve, and I don't believe that. As a child she saw her dad and brothers die, her sister being raped and her house burning down with her mother and her sister inside. This is huge. This is no normal loss; her family was humiliated and murdered in front of her. These events should have traumatized her for life and left her with a lot of complex emotions to deal with. The way her feelings were described, you would think that she lost her parents to an illness, or perhaps to an accident, which is traumatic but at least you know they were not unnecessarily and horribly tortured before they died. I would have expected her to feel some type of anger or denial at the circumstances more often. You just don't get the feeling it impacted her character as much as it should during the book, and when everything explodes during the ending it does feel forced.

Before starting to rant again, I will give kudos where it's due: I deeply appreciated that the author acknowledged that in order to pass as a man it is necessary to have a deep voice and "manly" mannerisms. A lot of authors only make their women dress as men and bam, instant disguise. It doesn't work like that at all and for once it was very nice to read about a character putting effort in practicing the social cues that people associate with the opposite sex, that was very well done. That being said, it frustrated me how inacurate the book was in regards to chest binding. I know this book is not supposed to be "How to pass as a man 101", but since the story is about a woman who wants to disguise herself as one you should take realism into account, especially in regards to something as dangerous as chest binding. When the protagonist bandages her chest it is not hard at all for her, which is complete bullshit. Anyone that has ever tried to bandage their chest can attest to the fact that it can be quite difficult to get it right the first time. She also leaves it bandaged for several hours without feeling any pain, nor any discomfort, or having any difficulty breathing; she sleeps wearing it, performs physically exhausting tasks wearing it, goes on long walks and horse-rides wearing it with no effects whatsoever. At this point I was like "damn, this woman's ribcage and lungs are made of steel or what?". Very unrealistic, 0/10.

As for Jessica/Jesse's reaction to having to disguise herself as a man... It was badly done. The author didn't stop hitting us in the head with "she is wearing pants, but she REALLY wants to wear pretty dresses! Pants and shirts make her uncomfortable and she hates them! She is a feminine woman!" And at first I was like "eh, I thought she wore animal hides during that decade in the mountain? The last time she wore a dress was like... 10 years ago, when she was 10 years old? She didn't care before and she cares now? What? Oh well, I guess the animal hides were shaped like dresses, which doesn't seem very practical but hey, at least it makes sense". But then in a scene where she is talking to Abby about the mountain, she is like "Oh yes, you can't wear dresses or skirts in the mountain, you have to wear practical clothing like pants" and I was like ??? You have been moaning to hell and back about how you miss dresses, and now you say that you have to wear practical clothing in the mountain? So then your animal hides were not shaped like dresses? So then what you wear at Ely is really not that different to what you have been wearing during 10 damn years at Mount Perish? What are you so hard-pressed about, exactly??? There is a difference in a character just wanting to wear dresses and... This.

If she should have had to disguise herself as a man immediately after she had been wearing dresses all her life and taught that skirts are the proper thing for women to wear, I would understand her anxiety. But if she has been wearing pants during 10 years out of her own volition, why does she suddenly care the moment she goes down to the city? Especially when at times she says that she does not understand the women in Ely? It was confusing. Maybe the author had an intent there that I am not able to see, but she did not transmit it very well through her writing, in all honesty.

And then, towards the end, Jesse sees that Abby is worried about wearing pants and out of the blue she is all like "don't worry, they are just clothes." I just... What?

I did like some things about Jesse: she was a good person, she liked to travel, she was a good hunter, she helped a prostitute when she had the chance and was generally nice to everybody, but was not afraid to fight if somebody mistreated her or Abby. Overall she was not a bad protagonist, but she did not feel cohesive. Her development felt forced and not very organic.

Moving on to the romance: I disliked the scene where Abby was introduced. It was promising at first, because this author is very good at writing impactful scenes and introducing characters, and I thought that I was in for a really great moment. But then, as we are being told about the reactions that Abby awakes in all the men in the crowd, the narrator starts to describe Jesse's. And she is feeling, guess what: jealous and insecure. She is not even awestruck, or feeling even a hint of attraction to her, or feeling something that she can't determine (which we all know what would have been). But instead she wants to get dolled up like her and be as pretty as her, and she looks at her reflection with insecurity to check herself out in comparison to Abby. That is all that the author describes to us; no hint of any possible romance. If I had not known that Abby is supposed to be the love interest beforehand, I wouldn't have known from that scene. Then some moments after Abby approaches Jesse, and she notes that "he" looks at her like "a kid caught with his hand stuck in the candy jar". But then again she thinks that Jesse is a man, and it would be easy to misinterpret any other feeling that Jesse might be feeling as attraction. We certainly don't have any indicators from Jesse that point to her being attracted to the other woman. Abby's own attraction, while well described, relies on perceiving Jesse as male. This has to be the most "no homo" romantic introduction of a lesbian love interest that I have ever read.

Don't get me wrong, the romance gets better, but their first scene together didn't have any chemistry whatsoever. After that, however, their scenes together are way better written and heartwarming. Only thing I didn't like was the fact that Jesse reveals her sex way later than I expected, which made everything worse because their relationship was built on that lie. I really disliked that and I wish Abby would have found out way, way sooner.

I liked Abby more than Jesse: her character felt more coherent, she was a brave woman surviving in a harsh world, and always there to support her friends. I also found realistic that she tried to move on after Jesse had been rejecting her advances for a long time, because honestly, life is short. At first I thought she was bisexual but the story leaves it quite ambiguous; she has been with men before but wherether it was out of love/attraction or not is not clear. I loved that one of the things that made her be attracted to Jesse was the scent, which she described as being sweeter than a man's. I empathized with that, because one of the first things that made me realize I was not attracted to men, apart from the anatomical aspects, was the fact that I don't like how they smell. I am not being rude and saying that men don't wash, it is not about that; men and women smell differently per se. Men's smell does not attract me; women's smell does.

I also liked Frieda, she was a great mother figure and the relationship between her and Jessica was very beautiful and emotional. She cared for her as if she was her own daughter and made sure that she could survive in that harsh world by herself.

Which brings me to the appearance of native americans in the story: I disliked how they only appeared when the white characters needed some spiritual or physical healing. They felt like walking Deus Ex Machina instead of characters. Even the background characters from Ely felt more three-dimensional than them. I also think the book may have showed the conflict between white people and native americans through rose-tinted glasses; not in the sense of it being something to romanticize, but in the sense of painting both sides as having suffered equally, which obviously was not true.

From the prologue I imagined that this book would be bold, realistic and harsh. And it certainly was at the beginning (way more than what I would have expected) but then it just toned down and didn't live up to the expectations I had for it. The book spends so much time reminding us that Jesse is a woman (as if we would forget), that she wants to be feminine and that she is afraid to be discovered that does not develop other potential plot points that would be way more interesting, in my opinion. There is no real tension to her being discovered out, really: no character suspects anything, her ribs and lungs of steel prevent her from having any real need to remove her bandages and the only moments where characters ask her things that could potentially expose her true sex, she just refuses and they go like "Oh, alright. Tell us if you change your mind okay bye!" So there was no tension at all. It was just so easy for her to pass as a man that I didn't understand why the author insisted so much on emphasizing how afraid Jesse was of being found out. Instead of hitting me over the head with it, make me feel afraid she will be discovered! Create tension! I know you can, S.C Wilson, because you had me at the edge of the seat during the first part of the book!

During the Pratt's family manslaughter, the author was amazing at making us feel as miserable, traumatized, empty and defeated as the characters were feeling, and created a powerful scene that was very hard to read but that had a lot of merit in terms of moving the reader, all without being too graphic to the point of being distasteful. I would have expected this to extend to the rest of the book, but it was not the case; the rest of the story made me feel things, but it fell flat during the moments that mattered.

By the ending things pick up again: the plot gets back on track and the book grabs you again, making you feel the same trepidation that it made you feel at the beginning. I was grateful for that but everything was kind of rushed. Things would have felt more natural if, instead of so many romantic moments, the author had left the climax some time to build up during the middle of the story. The resolution also felt very rushed.

I think I may have bashed the romance and plot too hard; the author has obviously worked hard to write this book, it does have a good plot and the writing style is excellent, as are a lot of details from hunting, history, etc. Research was obviously done, something that a lot of authors don't do, even famous ones. But it just didn't do it for me. I expected more. I would not discourage anyone from giving it a read, but some moments are so cringey that I would not recommend it too much, either.

I recommend this book if you like stories set during the Golden Rush, with harsh conflicts, characters that are attracted to women and beautiful descriptions of american landscapes. I don't recommend it if you are searching for an exciting story, gnc characters or romances that you can ship (lying about one's sex is a deal-breaker for ships, imo).

#lesbian literature #literature #happy ending #homosexual literature #ambiguously bi love interest #The California Golden Rush #realistic fiction #Violet reviews #lesbian protagonist #crossdressing protagonist #S.C Wilson

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lettersandinkstains · 6 years ago

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⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Aster:

* She was born to a peasent woman who nannied Sage, which is why the two were close friends.

* (spoilers) She actually died as a very young child from illness, but was sent back by an unnamed goddess because “she still is needed”

* Very bookish, and not at all athletic. Gets winded very easily, and has what the Scholars call “the lung disease” (asthma).

* Sucks at attack type magic, but does very well with healing! Her aim is super terrible, but she’s doing her best!!

Sorrel:

* Despite his seeming undying loyalty to his kingdom and the king, he is known to waver a lot in faith.

* Means well, but struggles with understanding what might be right. Incredibly tunneled vision.

* Is very good at understanding animals--is absolutely in love with his horse, whom he raised. Her name is Shadowfire.

* Not a very good leadertype. He’s more of a follower, but wants to be in command of the knights though he still has a lot of work ahead of him.

* Often looked down upon by his superiors. Not so much because he’s weak, he’s quite skilled with a sword and archery, but because he gives up very easily if it means he could spare someone from being hurt. (Will not kill just because someone is the enemy).

Nyx:

* Has two younger siblings she would kill for

* She was orphaned at a young age. Her father was killed in a raid, and her mother died of an unknown illness. So, she was forced to grow up at the tender age of nine, and care for her siblings, but she had help from her village, especially a close by family, who were struggling themselves.

* The only other character who is not of nobility.

* Can talk to Dragons--knows and understands the “Old Language”

* Not really an animal fan. They’re cute, but eh.

Zephyr:

* Vegetarian/Pescatarian

* A joyful young person, incredibly charismatic.

* Very evenly tempered. Not much gets under their skin.

* Empathetic! They’re also very intune with what people are feeling around them.

* A great cook! They are pretty much the reason, right now, why Sage and Nyx have not died of starvation.

Sage:

* Has a calm demeanor. Likely screaming all of the time on the inside.

* Is able to grin and bear it.

* She’s quite the liar.

* When she was younger, she really wanted to join the Knights, and went as far as insisting she be taught how to fight with a sword, but was always turned down or told to go away since it’s not the princess’s place to fight. One person, however, took pity on her and did teach her some basic stuff and she still admires her to this day (and has no idea that her sudden disappearance is because her father had the woman executed. Great family, really.)

* Not very good at picking up on subtlties. She’s very unobservant sometimes in her attempt at remaining optimistic and idealistic that she forgets to read the atmosphere and to read people’s body language. It’s almost baffling how she would rather pretend things can be fixed when they likely can’t be.

(Bonus: She has a major guilty complex).

#that was fun #letters #jojoscoffeeandwriting #c: aster #c: nyx #c: sage #c: sorrel #c: zephyr

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inazumafocus · 7 years ago

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Fudou Akio analysis

Hello dearies! This is my first post on this new blog and I’ve decided that it will be a character analysis of Fudou Akio, hope you’ll enjoy!

Since I love studying characters I am often baffled by the lack of understanding when it comes to the ones that are a tad more complex than your regular everyday do-gooders. And when it comes to Fudou Akio I see a LOT of misunderstanding: he’s either an ass or a tsun tsun. Excuse me while I try not to barf. So, for the love of everything that I hold dear and my sanity, lets dive into a step-by-step analysis of the amazing character that is Fudou Akio.

We will start from the Inazuma Japan arch, hence him not being his true self in the Aliea Stone’s arch (everyone seems to forget how he too was wearing the stone and thus having his negative side taking advantage of him). Let’s go chronologically so we can all see how his true character unravels before our eyes and gradually morphs.

The first important scene they gave us and that we should pin point is during Ep71 “Raise the curtain! A challenge to the world!”. The coach gives precise instruction not to leave the building and for everyone to stay in their rooms, to which the general response is unhappiness and concern. Then we have Fudou, completely calm and slightly annoyed at the other’s antics “if you’re going to lose confidence just ‘cause you can’t practice for two days, then give up being a national!” as if he was full of confidence in his own abilities and while yes, he knows he’s good, we are showed a short sequence of him laying on his messy bed, with the wall next to it covered in ball’s marks and dirty clothes on the floor. It’s obvious that he was training until few moments ago, sweating like there was no tomorrow (and he probably was at it far before anybody else, since when the others are training, he’s already trying to rest).

Conclusion? He cares a lot but doesn’t trust anyone enough to show it. But why is that? Well the answer is very clear in Ep82 “The perfect strategy! Perfect zone press!”, his first official game against the Fire Dragon, and it’s given to us through a flashback. His father was a weak, inept man that left him and his mother struggling against debt collectors and his mother, although not with ill intentions, told him the one thing that would shape his way to see things and people: “grow into a powerful man so you can get back at people”. Saying this to a six years old child, whose father just abandoned and that basically lived on the streets, would obviously bring him to believe that “the strong feed on the weak in order to survive” as he will state during the match. It’s a twisted conclusion and surely not what his mother was trying to say, but his past, the things he had seen and the habitat in which he had to struggle not only to survive but to get to the top, surely didn’t help him grow into a trusting, happy pre-teen. And we have a confirmation of his untrusting nature in Ep83 “Get up captain!”, where Fuyuka states “I don’t think that person believes in anyone. That’s why no one tries to believe in him”. And here’s the interesting thing. It’s true that Fudou doesn’t trust others and it’s also true that he doesn’t care weather or not others trust him on a normal basis, but after seeing that his passes are not working because his teammates don’t trust him and his judgment on the field, then that’s a thing that really annoys him. He even looks kind of hurt.

And this is a situation we will see in several occasion (like during the match against Team K, when the Italy’s representative was having difficulties to follow his directions).

But back to ep83, we have the BIGGEST step forward for his character development! While he’s using some unorthodox methods to test and understand the rival team, getting a hand of what he’s after, Kidou decides to do the one thing he has to, in order to re-establish balance: being the first to trust Fudou. “His plays are trying to bring out the best of YOUR abilities too!” says a very clever Endou and his theory is proven by the first pass to Kidou going smoothly. “Maybe Fudou’s been working hard while we weren’t watching” that sure as hell is correct! Ever asked yourself what was he doing all the time you practiced together? Studying you, of course! So that he could lend the perfect passes and help the team wins. In the end he is still pretty detached from the others but they’re starting to slowly catching on: “what’s with that attitude?” “That’s Fudou Akio”.

So now Inazuma Japan is more prone to trust him during a match, but do they trust him as a person? Not yet. In Ep91 “Teikoku’s curse part2!” he is accused of betraying them and working with Kageyama, but what is his reaction? He laughs, without denying anything and that’s because, again, you can think whatever you want of him, it’s not his business and he seems pretty used to people not trusting him. That’s probably because to him the world works like this: no one should ever trust anyone in order to survive. He’s so used to it that when Endou says “I trust Fudou” he’s the most surprised by far.

Have you noticed anything suspicious tho? Like, for example, how easy it is to understand his true emotions just by looking at his face? It’s all written there: anger, disappointment, surprise, concern. He doesn’t hide behind a mask of indifference, he constantly shows genuine emotions through his eyes and here’s a piece of the article dedicated to him in the Animage September 2017: “He says more with his eyes. Fudou is a very blunt person but in actual fact he makes a variety of expressions. From a suspicious face, to a face full of contempt, to a shocked face – his expressions are more honest than you might think!” Is he aware of it? Does he not care? Are people always so blinded by prejudice that he thinks no one will ever notice?

Surely enough, after understanding how he wears (consciously or not) his heart on his sleeve, we can start to actually see how much he’s beginning to care for his teammates. The first indicator is the deep shock we can read on his face after Kidou “almost gets hit” by a bunch of wooden boards.

Later, on Ep92 “Terrifying! Another Kidou!” he tries to wake Kidou from his fear induced trance “stop being buried in the past already!”

(Here I would like to add how this phrase is probably referred to himself too, hence the following “you’ll be the one landing me a hand” muttered in response to Kidou’s help request “lend me a hand. Fudou, Sakuma!”. And related to this whisper of his, there’s an interesting thing his VA, Yuuki Kaji, stated in an interview on the Animage October 2010: “I had to record that line about ten times. This line in particular needs to be said gently, without any harshness”. And why should Fudou gently whisper something like this, hoping not to be heard, if he wasn’t talking about how he too was struggling to leave the past behind him and with it the old core of his existence: the hunger for power?)

Back to us! After stealing the ball from Kidou, thus helping him to weak up, he is again accused of betrayal. But this time… this time he answers. “And here I was trying to put an end to his plan by myself”. This phrase right here is another big step forward, he’s admitting that he was trying to work alone to destroy Kageyama and you could say “yes, because of personal revenge!” and the answer is: at 50%, yes. He really does want to beat him in order to move on with his past, but he is also furious with him for trying to destroy his team: “if Kageyama says he’s going to destroy Japan’s team, then I’ll bring him down with soccer!”

See? No one ever asked him to, no one expect for him to care that much, maybe not even you that are watching the show, but did you notice how he started to work with Kidou? Against Fire Drason first, then the private practice just the two of them, plus his constant watch over the other teammates, everything in order to bring the team to victory, not only himself. He is exactly what the creator intended him to be when they gave him his name. The name Fudou Akio (不動明王), in fact, originate from Fudō Myōō (不動明王) which is the Japanese name of the deity Acala. Acalanātha means "immovable protector" and in Japan is also known with the name "Wisdom King Acala", he is invoked in Buddhist rituals to "frighten gods, titans, men and destroy the strength of demons", and he slays all ghosts and evil spirits. He is also oftentimes drawn with intense facial expression and demeanor. So, a fierce god with intense expressions, that protect others and is particularly used against demons, mmhhh does this ring any bell to you? Like, I don’t know, a certain someone always there to fight against anything and anyone ill willed? Someone with a brilliant mind? That helps others escape from the control of an evil spirit? And that will be very mad during a specific game against an army of so called demons? No?

Let’s move on.

Back to ep92 he is also very pleased when Kidou actually comes back to his senses, he even smiles and for the first time accept that working on his own just won’t do.

After that, in Ep93 "Strongest Confrontation! Penguin vs. Penguin!!" we are showed again how he looks down on his past self when Demonio goes “Commander has given us the power to fight against the world. If this is the price I have to pay for power then I can endure this level of suffering” and Fudou comments, almost as if the thought slipped through his lips, “Power, eh…” Demonio reminds him of how power hungry he was and it’s clear at this point that Fudou has bidden farewell to the words his mother said and it’s ready to close that chapter of his life once and for all after the match against Team K.

Now we can really say that his character has reached at a turning point.

From the seemingly indifferent lone wolf that decided to come alive only during matches to a silent guy who’s able to smile with contempt alongside his teammates even off the field, like at the end of Ep95 "Desperate! Inazuma Japan Defeated!?" He doesn’t even care about victory as much as he wanted us to believe in the first episodes.

Then we got another insight on Ep96 "Fuyuppe's Secret" where he states, “looks like his leg injury wasn’t light anyway”, thus showing his close attention to the well-being of all the others and another fundamental thing! Why didn’t he tell anything to the coach if he knew Kurimatsu was injured? Well, because he respects him, his guts and his pride and in Ep107, "Grandpa's Last Note!", we have the confirmation of this theory when he is shown to have the “Heart #11: the heart to persist even if one hits rock-bottom, Warrior’s Pride”. So, being a proud warrior himself, he couldn’t, wouldn’t ever have outed Kurimatsu on something like that.

He is also making new friends aside from Kidou and Sakuma. In Ep105 "Decisive! Endō vs. Fidio!!" he high fived Someoka when switching during the match (and he also showed again just how much he trusts Kidou)

and during Ep110 "Demon Army Z!" he’s pretty pleased to have the helping hands of both Tsunami and Tobitaka while being the driving force against the hated “demons”. He is just so mad at them (*cough*ThinkOfHisName*cough*) he even takes one for the team, literally, by blocking a fierce shot with his body despite being hurt and full of bruises.

And if you’re still having doubts about him caring for the others, just watch at how he sneaks into Gouenji and Toramaru’s training to simply lend a hand and even quotes Sakuma! Also, Sakuma’s words may imply how Fudou is trying to hide his real feelings of affection for the team.

He’s gradually toning down, losing completely that poisoned tooth (even if he keeps his sassiness, thank god), when he’s around those that we can now call his friends. Because yes, they are, they know that he has that certain attitude and, as Hiroto states in Ep111 "The Devil's Decent! Dark Angel!!", “He shows what he means through actions. That’s Fudou Akio”, and this is fine by them, they accept him, even if he’s still so surprised when someone apologizes and is nice to him (but he’ll get used to it, he’ll eventually understand that he is worthy enough of affection).

It’s also important to state that when Coach Kudo calls their names during Ep122 "Inazuma Japan's Final Battle!", and everyone’s having a flashback of their first crucial step as better players, for Fudou it’s the moment when he decided to trust and cooperate for the first time, generating his first hissatsu with Kidou.

We can also see his changes by the enthusiasm he expresses after a victory. At first, he was distant, unaffected, then he started to smile a bit but while still keeping a bit of a distance, now, at the end of Ep125 “Final Truth! Number One in the World!!", he just run smiling with the others, happy as he should be and with no problem in showing it to the others.

He also shows up to the Raimon final match at the end of the graduation’s ceremony in Ep127 "Kick-off to Tomorrow!".

And finally, his speech to Tsurugi during “Inazuma Eleven GO Movie, The Ultimate Bonds Gryphon”: “Tsurugi, listen up! Friends are those you can depend on, and those who can depend on you!” This shows just how much he was able to change and mature over the years thanks to his friends!

And with this, my dearies, I salute you, hoping it was somewhat useful to you for a deeper, better understanding of an amazing character with a wonderful development!

#fudou akio #inazuma eleven #inazuma eleve go #inazuma eleven ares #character analysis #inazuma japan

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