#eh i wanted to add more to this but time was running out anyway

[amourrs]

you're such a fucking tease, you know that? with ellie williams pretty please 😭😭🙏🏻🙏🏻

thank you angel!! — one where you wear ellie’s flannel and neither of you actually end up leaving the house (fem!reader, smut 18+, ai audios at the end, 2.2k)

You’re supposed to leave by nine, so of course Ellie gets out of the bathroom at quarter past.

It’s not the first time she’s made the pair of you run late. You’ve learned not to let it bother you like it used to though, because it’s not personal so much as it’s just shitty time management. Anyway, it’s not like you’re going anywhere fancy- just to the local Starbucks because you really want your first pumpkin spice latte of the season- but like, still. Surely everyone knows the rules: obey the timings of the pumpkin spice latte, or get cursed by the latte gods.

The sound of the toilet door clicking shut has you springing off the bed, eyes zeroing in on Ellie’s car keys on the bedside table as she bounds into the room, feet springing with every step.

“Pumpkin spice latte day— can I get a woop woop?”

Truthfully, you both know that Ellie couldn’t really care less about the seasonal drinks at Starbucks. It was more about making you happy- just like all the times she bought an iced brown sugar oatmilk shaken espresso because you were going through the Starbucks drive through and refused to get anything unless Ellie did too, because you “didn’t want to drink alone”, a sentiment she rolled her eyes at but still never challenged (which may have something to do with the fact that she orders her drink in a venti and adds two pumps of vanilla, because she secretly loves the silly little coffee just as much as you do— not that you could torture that information out of her, of course.)

You turn around with a smile, smoothing out your skirt as you look into your girlfriend’s eyes for the first time since she’s entered the room. The checkered black and red button up over your shoulders shifts as you move and you suddenly notice Ellie’s smile drop as her eyebrows arch to the very top of her forehead. Instantly you’re overtaken by a sense of complete bewilderment. That is, until you catch the glint in her eye as she slowly takes in your outfit, an expression of utter lovesickness working its way onto her face.

“Is that my flannel?”

It’s hard to bite back a grin as your girlfriend’s hand comes up to cup your face and she presses a kiss to your forehead, but you manage to do it anyway. You’ve borrowed Ellie’s clothes before— usually sort of ratty t-shirts you tend to sleep in, or oversized hoodies that smell like home— and yet every time she sees you in something that’s hers, it seems to melt her heart into a gooey puddle just as quickly as if it were the first time.

“Yeah, but I can take it off if you want,” you tease, hands sliding down until your arms are looped messily around your girlfriend’s waist and you can tug her in closer for a proper kiss. What starts off slow quickly turns messy as Ellie’s enthusiasm begins to shine through in her technique or lack thereof as the kiss deteriorates into a chaos of tongues and teeth and clashing (not that you mind, of course).

“Eh, maybe you should take it off. Red isn’t really your look,” Ellie jokes, eyes glinting at her own terrible attempt at humour. You go to roll your eyes but you’re caught off guard as an overzealous movement causes her leg to nudge hard into yours and you both fall backwards onto the bed, you trapped underneath her as you try in vain to extricate yourself from the tangled mess of her gangly limbs. Ellie makes no effort to help you— in fact, she seems to relish in the fact that you’re caged in by the lattice of her muscled arms as she gently reaches down to peck you on the lips. That one peck is of course followed by another, and another, and soon Ellie’s peppering kisses all over your face as you squeal and kick your legs.

“El, stop it. Thought we were gonna go to Starbucks and get pumpkin spice lattes,” you rebuke, head twisting until you can see the large clock over the door. You gasp as you catch sight of the long minute hand’s position. “It’s already half past! They’re probably all out of the pumpkin scones—” your complaints are cut off as Ellie returns to kissing your face again, lips smushing against yours in an almost aggressive display of affection.

“Fuck the pumpkin scones.”

Instantly your face takes on a mock-hurt expression that’s really only half a joke— not that Ellie seems to care. Her lips are already back at your temples and she’s smearing a little kiss on each side before she moves to pepper your cheeks.

“Don’t speak against the pumpkin scones. That’s blasphemy, El,” you remind her sternly, although it’s hard to keep your focus when her mouth is slowly sliding past your jawline and leaving little love bites along the column of your neck.

“M’sorry, babe. Let me make up for it, yeah?” Ellie teases, and that’s when you realise that somewhere in the midst of all the kisses Ellie’s hands have ventured under your shirt, running a hungry path from your waist to explore the expanse of your upper back. It’s impossible to contain the whine that’s begging to escape from your throat at the sensation of her warm fingers drawing circles against your skin, so you don’t. It spills into the air and Ellie laughs against your clavicle as she smears a kiss there. There’s something almost holy about the way she makes contact with you, the unbridled affection lathered in every touch as her fingers travel further upwards. You can tell when it registers in her brain that her hands had been able slide smoothly up your back with no obstruction, because she pulls back from where she’s been attacking your neck to let out a groan.

“Fuck, really? You were gonna go out without a bra on— and not tell me?” Mock betrayal saturates her words and you giggle, heart swelling about a trillion sizes as Ellie contorts her expression into a goofy frown. “S’not funny, baby,” your girlfriend complains, petulance colouring her words as she continues to keep up the facade of genuine annoyance, “what if some stranger decided to eye up the girls?”

“Oh my God, Ellie. I told you to stop calling them that.”

“They’re my girls!” she defends, eyes narrowing. “What else am I supposed to call them?”

“Thought I was your girl,” you say loftily, eyes flicking to Ellie’s panicked face.

“You are— I mean, they are— oh, fuck it,” she grumbles, hands coming up to slip the flannel right off your shoulders. There’s a pop as she pulls at the neckline impatiently and a few buttons launch themselves off of the shirt and hit the opposite wall. Your mouth falls open in shock.

“Ellie,” you admonish, “you really shouldn’t— oh, fuck!” A broken moan tears itself from your throat as you look down to see Ellie’s mouth circling your tit. She looks up for a moment in satisfaction at the sound, preening at the little gasps that continue to fall from your lips as you clutch at the sheets for purchase, before she buries her face back into your cleavage. Her hand comes up from your waist to pinch at your nipple as you whine, back arching up as you chase the stimulation.

“You’re such a fucking tease, you know that?” Ellie groans, head popping up like a jack-in-the-box as her lips chase yours, tongue forcing its way into your mouth as you kiss her back with just as much passion. “You know I can’t resist you in my clothes. Think you planned this on purpose, baby. If you wanted me to fuck you, you shoulda just told me, yeah? Don’t have to act like a little slut to get my attention.” The meanness in Ellie’s words has you keening, hips rocking up into her thigh of their own accord as warm arousal kindles in your belly.

“M’sorry,” you practically sob, hips still rolling upwards in desperate search of relief. “Ellie, please.” Your doe-eyed pleading expression clearly has your desired effect because suddenly Ellie’s hands are tightening around your waist and you find your positions flipped. Now the auburn haired girl lies beneath you, your legs wrapped directly around either side of her muscular thigh as she raises her eyebrow expectantly.

“Well, go on then,” she prompts, jolting her leg slightly to send a wave of pleasure through you as the rough denim of her jeans grazes at your clit through your panties. You wriggle your hips around slightly but you can’t find a rhythm that works, your legs growing painfully stiff within about two minutes of moving. “C’mon, babe,” Ellie tuts, hands reaching for your waist. “Tired already?”

“Hurts,” you moan, the puppy dog eyes coming back out in full force again. “El. Need you to help me, Ellie, please, I can’t and—”

You’re cut off by Ellie’s snide laugh. Dragging your eyes up to her face, you notice for the first time just how turned on she really is. Her pupils are blown so wide that her green irises are more like tiny, paper thin borders around the dilated black circles, her hair slightly dampened to her temples by sweat as she continues to chuckle at your dilemma. There’s just something about how fucking desperate you look that gets her going, makes her long to sink her canines into your neck and then tongue gently over the mark left behind, lips peppering up the column of your throat as an apology— and so she does it. It’s a nice juxtaposition to her recent meanness, reminiscent of the earlier affections which got you into this predicament in the first place, the sweetness of it making you let out a little whimper from the hollows of your chest. The sound tugs on Ellie’s heartstrings and she begins to relent, hands sliding down from where they’re snaked around your waist to find a home at the base of your hips instead.

“Okay, pretty girl, I know,” she soothes, mouthing gently at your neck still as you keen in anticipation of her movement, “I know, Ellie’s got ya. Gonna make you feel so good, yeah?” She doesn’t give you a chance to answer before she’s rocking her thigh in even motions, her hands helping your hips to tilt with the movement as your clothed cunt slides back and forth across the muscled surface. A sigh of relief spills from you as the long-awaited friction finally begins to build and you wrap your arms around Ellie’s neck, smushing your lips against hers. A pretty strawberry toned blush creeps up from your girlfriend’s neck to colour her cheeks, freckles highlighted against the surface of her skin as she attempts to hide the dopey smile that wants to make itself known on her face.

“What was that for, huh?”

“Love you,” you pant, Ellie’s hands moving faster as she bounces her thigh now, racing to give you the release you’ve been craving for the past half an hour. You shift your weight slightly and suddenly there’s a delicious pressure on your clit as it catches against the seam of Ellie’s jeans through the soaked fabric of your underwear. You moan out instantly, head tipping forward to crash into the curve between her shoulder and her neck as your hands rake across the rippled expanse of her back.

“Love you too, honey. How much d’you wanna bet that you’ll cum in the next five minutes?” You look back up to glare at her, mock offense painted across your tired features. “Or not,” Ellie rectifies quickly, a guilty look on her face as she tries not to laugh at your (quite frankly ridiculous) expression.

True to Ellie’s suspicions, it only takes you three more minutes to announce that you’re close, nails digging crescent moons into the pale skin of her shoulders.

“Ellie—”

“I know, baby,” comes her strained response, trying her hardest not to come in her pants at the way you’re whining her name. Instead, she settles for dropping her hand down to the point where your pussy drips all over her thigh, deft fingers flipping up your skirt and applying the perfect amount of pressure to your swollen clit. “Gonna cum for me, honey?”

“Oh, fuck—” you’re sobbing as your high crests over you, legs shaking as Ellie’s thumb continues to draw tight circles onto your sensitive bud until you have to physically push her away, body flopping down onto the bed in sheer exhaustion as Ellie leaves the room. You remain in that position until you hear your girlfriend call your name, your head swivelling up to meet her soft smile as she gently begins to clean you with a damp washcloth, taking extra care as you hiss when she bumps against your still overstimulated clit. You can tell there’s something on her mind as she grins to herself, and you can’t help but ask, even though you know you’ll probably regret it. “What’s up with you, weirdo?”

She looks up at you. “Huh?”

“You’re smiling like you just won a contest.” Ellie hums noncommittally and returns to her gentle ministrations with the flannel between your thighs until, finally, the question that she’s been holding back since the second you came spills out of her:

“Bet you’re not thinking about that fucking pumpkin scone now, huh?”

(You were, in fact, thinking about that fucking pumpkin scone. Not that you could torture that information out of you, of course.)

[solarsa1nt]

𐚁֙࿐ PEACHES

uraume x fem!reader

Tags — fluff , heian era , soft uraume

Notes — i use they/them pronouns for uraume!

"Uraume-san! Uraume-san!" Y/N calls, running through the halls of the large shrine to approach the monk.

"Y/N." Uraume greets back neutrally, turning their head away from the village man that they were speaking to moments earlier, tattered clothes dirtying the floors of the shrine.

"Eh?" Y/N pauses, smile faltering as she looks between the two. "Were you busy again? Sorry... I can—"

"No." Uraume interrupts firmly, turning their body to completely face the girl that had started to slink further back into the shrine. "It's fine."

"Really? I don't want to be a nuisance..." Y/N frowns apprehensively.

Uraume sighs at the insecure and nervous behavior coming from the normally out-going girl. "It's only a minor issue, someone else can deal with... him."

Uraume sends a subtle glare back at the man, prompting him to straighten his spine.

"Y-Yes! I should be g-going anyway..." The man stammers, quickly rushing out of the shrine like a scared mouse.

Y/N blinks in surprise as the man disappears from view. "Huh. You're really scary, Uraume-san."

Uraume frowns faintly at the admission, opening their mouth to say something as they look back at Y/N, words dying in their throat at the sight of the girl smiling at them in admiration.

"You and Sukuna-sama are so cool." Y/N sighs with an amazed smile, wonder dancing in her eyes.

Uraume blinks in stunned silence, it (embarrassingly) taking a moment to recover before they speak again. "What is it you wanted, Y/N?"

"Oh, right!" Y/N easily perks back up again, smile returning full-force. "I was wondering if you wanted to go peach picking with me! It's in season!"

"I-If it's not too much of an issue, of course..." Y/N adds, glancing away from Uraume sheepishly. "I wouldn't mind going alone—"

"No, you're not permitted to leave without Sukuna-sama or I joining you after last time." Uraume cuts off bluntly, never the one to sugarcoat things.

"It's not my fault that guy wouldn't leave me alone." Y/N huffs childishly, turning her head to the side with a pout.

"Of course not. It's merely a precaution." Uraume replies, tone completely unreadable. Although when Y/N glances over, her eyes catch onto their hands that were tightening into fists at the mention of that particular attempt.

Of course, people outside the shrine were aware of Y/N— a completely normal human with nothing special about her that, somehow, got in Ryomen Sukuna's favor.

So it didn't take long enough for people to target Y/N whenever she left the safety of the shrine— her being the only person they were able to attack. Uraume could use cursed energy and only a fool would dare to attack Sukuna himself, leaving Y/N the only one to defenseless enough to try to kill.

One man was even brazen enough to try and kidnap her— which resulted in his head being speared outside the village as an unspoken threat.

"So, peach picking?" Uraume prompts, drawing Y/N out of her musings.

"Oh, right! There's this really pretty peach farm an elderly man had last time I visited the village. He even gave me some!" Y/N rants excitedly. "He said I could come back any time and have some more since he doesn't have anyone else to give them to!"

"Hm." Uraume closes their eyes in thought, pausing for a moment before their dark pink eyes peer open again. "Alright, I will accompany you."

"Great! Thank you, Uraume-san!" Y/N squeals, tackling the monk in a hug, holding on for another second or two before pulling away to meet them face-to-face.

Uraume's eyes were blown wide, a faint pink dusting their pale cheeks that matched their eyes. Their lips were parted in shock— as if they went to say something but couldn't muster the words.

"You're the best!" Y/N praises, kissing their cheek before letting go, turning and rushing down the hall.

Uraume breathes in, raising a hand to their cheek as they blink incredulously— unsure of what the warm feeling bubbling in their chest is.

© 𝓢OLARSAINT 2024 ─── all of my works belong me alone! do not copy, steal, plagiarize, or spread any of my works in any other social media platform. these have only been reloaded on my own accounts on ao3 and wattpad

[the-hole-in-terzos-shoe]

Taking Care

Papa Emeritus IV x Nanny/Sister of Sin!Reader

TW: smut obviously, cheating, mentions of alcoholism and drug use, child does get hurt at one point but they are okay!, mentions of pregnancy, breeding smut, mentions of condoms in case that makes you uncomfy. Let me know if there's anything else I need to add, things get a little heavy in this one.

Word Count: 10.4k

This started off as a dirty little scandalous idea, actually based on a previous fandom I used to write for, and it turned into a big thing... As all of my fics do. I don't think I'm capable of writing anything short anymore. Also @sweatandwoe came up with the title 😉

Anyway! Papa IV has a horrible Prime Mover who is never present at home, and it leads to him developing some feelings for the nanny. Enjoy!

𝘓𝘢 𝘢𝘮𝘰... Copia thought to himself as he fondly observed the sight before him, framed by the paned glass door leading to the balcony: his little one bouncing on your hip as you cooed at him, trying to get the bambino back to sleep. The antipope had returned home late from the ministry offices, as he often did, entering his suite completely exhausted, kicking off his shoes to let his aching feet relax, perking back up a bit upon laying eyes on you.

Eyes glossed over as a cheery little smile came to his face, he simply watches as you saunter back and forth, his progeny lulling back to sleep in your arms. Before he even realizes, his sore feet carry him right out to the balcony, making his presence known.

"Oh! Good evening, Papa!" you whisper, not wanting to rouse the little one.

"No need for such formalities, 𝘚𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘢..." he mocks you with a wink.

A faint blush colors your cheeks; always so charismatic, even when he's as tired as he looks. Luckily before you can put more thought into it, baby Giovanni stirs a little, sitting back up and eyes popping open.

"Sh, sh, shhh..." you hum pressing a kiss to his little head.

"D-deh..." he whines reaching out towards Copia.

Letting out a little shocked gasp, you feign, "Who's that? Who is he, huh? Is that Daddy?"

With the sweetest giggle, the little one exclaims for his Da-da, reaching out again.

Copia swoops right over, playfully bending down to smooch his only son, getting a bit of black face paint on the soft fuzz of the little one's head. "Whoopsies, we'll have to wash you up, piccolino," he runs a finger delicately over his little cheek.

As Copia stands up straight again, and his baby stretches right back out for him.

"I think someone wants Daddy, yeah?" you try to urge your boss to take the bundle in your arms.

Instead, he does the unexpected. Wrapping an arm around the small of your back, he pulls you flush to him, cocooning his son between you. You and Copia both have an arm supporting the baby, as he holds you both close to him.

"Someone wants Daddy, sì?" he asks, and you're not sure if that was for you or Gio. Either way, it draws another blush to your cheeks.

Copia looks you over, eyes softening now that his little one is safe between you. In your avoidance of eye contact, you didn't see him lean in, only feeling his lips press softly to your forehead; surely you would have a mark as his child did. The softest gasp escapes you; it isn't lost on you that things had not been well for some time between him and his Prime Mover...

Maybe you were reading too much into it. Perhaps he was just being affectionate. You knew he could be handsy, and he'd had a long day; he was probably just seeking a moment of comfort before bed.

"Let's go put him down for the night, eh?" Copia motions to his baby boy.

You were so lost in thought, you hadn't even noticed he drifted back off. Snapping back into action to take him to bed, Copia stops you, scooping the bundle from your arms, giving you a warm smile as he disappears back inside to the nursery connected to his bedroom. You trail behind the man to make sure he won't need help with anything.

Laying the little one in his basinet, Copia offers him one last goodnight kiss and jokingly promises not to disturb him again. The man turns to see you standing in the doorway, illuminated by the soft glow of the night light in the room.

"I should retire to bed before he wakes again in a few hours," you dutifully remark, eyes cast down and thumbs twirling together.

Gloved fingers brush your hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear, "It's a blessing having you here." Softly he cups your jaw, while his other hand grips your waist, effectively pinning you to the door frame. "May I kiss you, cara mia?"

Wide eyed, you stare up at him as about a million thoughts race through your mind. 𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘗𝘢𝘱𝘢? 𝘓𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶... 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳. 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘗𝘳𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘔𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳? 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬? 𝘐 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯... 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴, 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘵𝘺𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘬. 𝘞𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘻𝘦? 𝘉𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘴, 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘤𝘩 𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘶𝘪𝘭𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘪𝘯...

Copia inhales and starts to straighten up, "It's quite alright if you don't want to, cara. I do apologize if I made you uncomf-"

Snapping out of your thoughts, your arms snake around his neck and your lips crash into his. Immediately, his hands cradle the back of your head and your waist, keeping you flush against him. The way his mouth moves against yours is sinful to say the least; he's quick to use his tongue, tracing it across your bottom lip before giving it a quick nip with his teeth. It was masterful really.

Within seconds, your mouth was giving him access, his tongue desperately wanting to meet yours, which drew a small whimper from you. While he moved excitedly within your mouth, you were more hesitant. Stupid as it may sound, you weren't sure you wanted to tempt him more; you had already totally crossed the line and disrespected your Prime Mover.

You know Copia isn't the kind to cheat, but he's been so miserable lately, always arguing with her, only for her not to remember a thing because she's so intoxicated. She was always out at parties and hardly ever home, and when she was in his suites, she was practically out of her mind. He's been trying so hard to get her the help she needs, but she won't take it. She likes the money, the power, the drink and drugs her position can afford her more than the life she's made here in the Abbey. It's sad really, especially with the baby involved.

The heat of the kiss had simmered down a lot and Papa slowly pulls away from you, searching your eyes for what went wrong. "I'm sorry, Papa, I shouldn't have- It was completely inappropriate of me to-" You try to pull away from him, but you only manage to slide your hands down to his chest before his grip on you returns, holding you close.

He swiftly pulls you outside the child's nursery and lightly clicks the door shut, so as not to disturb him.

"Papa, I'm- I'm so sorry..." It barely comes as a whisper.

"For what, tesoro? Giving me the kiss that I offered to you first? Now that's the real slight against me," he quips playfully, giving you a warm smile.

You hated to admit it, but it felt so nice being held so close to him. He always smelled of expensive cologne, it was heady getting to take in the scent at such proximity. All that consumed your mind in that moment was laying your head on his chest, so you did. Forehead in the crook of his neck, your eyes flutter closed and take in the soft moment.

Rubbing gentle circles into your back, his voice rumbles against your ears, "You're probably sleepy, piccolina. Let's get you to bed." Without another word, he leads you right down the hall to the guest room that was all yours. You never really returned to the Sisters of Sin quarters since you were the full time caregiver to the Emeritus heir.

It could get lonely at times, so you were grateful for the days when other Siblings would be assigned to work with you, whether to give you a break or to take Giovanni on an outing like a picnic or to the beach. 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘧𝘶𝘯, 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘗𝘢𝘱𝘢 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘶𝘪𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳... Sleepily, you yawn as you arrive at your door.

Copia opens the door for you, stopping at the threshold. A gentleman even in his own home. "Goodnight, cara mia."

"Goodnight, Papa," you mumble, hands returning to his chest.

He couldn't help himself; he leans in pressing another kiss to your lips, fingers tangling in your hair for a brief moment before pulling away again. You may have whined at the loss; you aren't sure in your sleepy state. Looking up at him, the man bites his bottom lip, and only then do you realize how smudged his face paint is, especially around his mouth. Copia simply nods at you one final time before closing you in your room, and you let out a groan, knowing you should wash all the black and gray off of your face before bed.

• • •

The next morning you emerge from your room a little earlier than normal and in a bit of a tizzy, because Giovanni is already crying and that's not like him. Turns out he just needs a diaper change, but of course he's hungry afterwards. 𝘐 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘺 𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩, 𝘩𝘦'𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘧 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘋𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘺.

Baby in tow, you head to the kitchen to warm up his bottle. You pass Copia in the living space, adorned with a little couch and TV, as he's having his morning coffee and reading the newspaper; he really could be a stereotypical old man sometimes. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴.

"Up so early, you two?" He sets his mug down, promptly following you to the kitchen.

"Yes, he was extra whiny this morning, so I couldn't put him off any longer," you explain.

It was pretty rare to see Copia before he left in the morning. He was always up so early and home so late. This morning he was already dressed and face painted; you were sure he was getting ready to walk out the door any minute.

As you reach for the kettle to warm some water for the baby's bottle, you feel a large hand on the small of your back, and suddenly you're acutely aware of the fact that you are only in your silky nightgown. You hadn't had time to put on your habit this morning.

"Let me help, Stellina, I don't get to do enough for the little guy," Copia chuckles at the little one, pinching his cheek before moving to warm up the water.

You turn your attention back to keeping the little one calm, as he could get quite cranky when he's hungry. The antipope stops to admire the sight before him as the kettle heats up: your undivided attention on his child, the curve of your hip holding him, the bare skin of your collarbones and shoulders. It has his mind drifting to all the places he'd like to mark on you; you were just so motherly, even though you had none of your own... He'd like to be the one to give you one, or many.

Just as the pot starts to spit and sputter, before it can reach boiling, Copia quickly pours it into a large bowl, submerging one of the many bottles you kept ready in it to warm the formula up.

You lightly press a kiss to baby Gio's head as he laughs at his father for some unknown reason.

"What's so funny, huh?" he turns and gets right in the baby's face, eyes wide and smile big.

"Who's that?" you coo.

"Da... D-" he babbles; he was still learning his first words.

"Close enough, eh?" Copia giggles before gasping and covering his face with his hands.

"Oh no, where's Daddy?!" you feign looking for him.

A burst of laughter comes from the little one when Copia reveals his face again. Peekaboo always did the trick.

By now the bottle would be warm enough, so the man slides an arm under his child, taking him from you. Quickly tossing him up in the air, the baby squeals happily, as he settles into his father's arms. As Copia reaches for a towel and the bottle, the infant points at you, "Mama!" It was the clearest word he'd ever said.

"Oh no, sweetie, I'm not-" you start, but Copia finishes it.

"Sì? She is kinda like your Mama, yeah?" He bounces the baby and gives him the bottle.

"Copia... I'm not his mother. She'll be pissed."

"She's never here. You're all he knows. Satanas, 𝘐'𝘮 not even here as much as I'd like to be. You'll be the only reason he turns out right," he ponders out loud, face looking forlorn at the thought.

"Well... Maybe we should plan something? Give him a Daddy son day, yeah?" you suggest.

"I shouldn't only be around for the fun times. You deserve more help, and he deserves for at least one of his parents to be here for him," Copia asserts, leaving no room for argument. "I'll go in late today. I want to help you get him ready this morning. And tomorrow, I'll come home early."

You weren't sure how Sister Imperator was going to like that, but it seems he's made up his mind, and you certainly weren't going to complain about seeing him more.

• • •

Copia kept to his word and stayed through the baby's entire morning routine, burping him, getting him washed up and dressed for the day. And of course he didn't leave you without a kiss.

The next day, he arrived to his papal suite early, just as he said, and helped you fix dinner. Normally it was just you and the baby, so you ate whatever was around; you weren't above eating sliced up hot dogs and applesauce. But since Papa was home and wasn't used to eating that way, he helped you cook, making pasta, alfredo sauce, and some broccoli and zucchini for a side.

You spoon fed Gio a jar of baby food while Copia worked his magic at the stovetop. Sleeves rolled up and apron donned, he checks every pot and pan diligently, tasting and adding ingredients where necessary. He really was built for this; it's a shame he isn't able to be home more.

Once he was done, your Papa insisted on you taking it easy for the evening. From pulling out your chair at the dinner table to fixing your plate, you weren't doing a thing. It felt unreal, like you shouldn't even be there if you weren't doing your job, but it also felt nice to have him doting over you, even if it was wrong. Copia even chopped some noodles really small for his son to try; Gio was going to be a mess later, but he needed a bath anyway.

Which after the delicious meal, Copia handled that too. He was perhaps a little inexperienced and ended up covered in water himself, but he was so happy to kneel next to you on the bathroom tile and take care of his little one. And seeing Copia holding a bundle of towels afterwards was probably the cutest thing ever.

"Go wash up yourself, Stellina. I'll put il bambino down, I picked out his pajamas and everything. Meet me back in the main room for a movie, hm?" The man softly grabs your hand, kinda like he was asking you on a date.

"Oh, o-okay," you bite your lip.

"You do not have to if it would not make you happy, tesoro." You were both treading new waters.

"No, no. I'll be there." You offer him a smile.

He returns it, happy you accepted his offer. "Bene. See you then," he gives you a wink before heading off to the nursery.

• • •

After your respective showers, Copia relaxed on the sofa in nothing more than a pair of silk pajama pants that left little to the imagination. You try to avoid eye contact with a certain... outline, as you enter the room, donning a few more layers than him. He didn't wear a stitch of paint and his hair was still damp.

He admires your look of cozy pajama shorts, a tank top, and a short robe loosely tied over top. Moving to lie on his side, Copia pats the spot in front of him, meaning you need to squeeze in right next to him on the little seat. It seemed especially small now at the thought of having to share it with him.

And it's not that you don't want to. You just knew what it could lead to, and that makes you hesitant. The thought of cuddling up next to your boss, your Papa, and his Prime Mover could walk in the door at any moment, although it was unlikely.

"Is okay, tesoro, I'm nervous too," the man admits to you, "but I desire to be closer with you." Apparently, he means physically closer as he slides an arm around your waist as you sit next to his lounging form. He quickly catches your hand, kissing your knuckles. "C'mon, cara, get comfortable," he urges you, "Lie down with me if you'd like."

You oblige him, laying on your back with him still on his side beside you, faces mere inches from one another. "Hey," you greet him, a nod to the nearness.

"Hi," he replies, looking over the features of your face that he adores so much.

You'd never really gotten to look into his eyes like this before and take in the lack of pigment in that white iris; it's fascinating the way it nearly glows, and so well balanced by the warm golden hues present in his green eye.

"You're a good dad, Copia." You're not sure what prompted it, but after all the work he'd put in this evening, he deserved to hear that. And you could tell the work wouldn't end there; he wanted to be more present in his child's life.

"Grazie, Stellina," he gingerly lays his arm across your waist, "I couldn't do it without you."

Between his praises and his fingers tracing shapes along your side, your cheeks betray you and blush a deep shade. Scanning your face for any indication he should stop, he slowly presses a few small pecks to your jawline, and he catches you in a passionate kiss before asking what movie you'd like to watch.

After settling in on a classic you'd both seen before, you turn to your side, so Copia is spooning his body against yours, propped up just so that you can both see the large screen. With his warmth settled all around you, worry crossed your mind that you may not make it through the entire movie...

He was just so soft and warm... inviting... His breath at the nape of your neck soothing your heavy eyelids-

𝘐𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵- 𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘦... 𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸?

Keeping your eyes glued to the screen, you subtly arch your back, pretending to stretch, feeling out the... 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 behind you. When you receive a stifled groan from your Papa, feeling his erection pressed tight against your backside, your inquiry is answered.

His arm draped around your waist tightens its grip, keeping you oh so close to him; you feel him let out a hot shaky breath before pressing a kiss to your neck. The feeling immediately sends a spark running through you as his mouth warms up your sensitive skin.

Your fingers lace with his as your ass wriggles against him again, earning a wanton moan from your Papa.

"Dolcezza... Look what you do to me," he whispers next to your ear.

"Papa," you breathe out, turning to catch his lips in a fierce kiss, the movie long since forgotten about. Quickly into the kiss, you're shifting onto your back, fingers tangling in his hair, to give him better access to your body.

His fingers delicately trace your jaw and neck, a sharp juxtaposition to the way his lips attack yours, needy and starved for attention. His lips deserved to be kissed like this every day; you couldn't understand why his Prime Mover would throw away the opportunity. Speaking of...

"Copia," you pull away from him suddenly, chests heaving as you both seek to fill your lungs again.

"Sì, bella mia? What is on that pretty little mind?"

Between the way his words make your heart swell and the shaft trapped against your hip, what you need to tell him fumbles on your lips. "We, uh... Copia, we- we shouldn't."

"Mm..." he grunts, "we shouldn't." He leans up to kiss your forehead, "But I want to. I want you. What do you want, cara mia?" He caresses your cheek again.

"I-" you look up for a minute, taking a deep breath, "I want you, too," you whisper, looking right into his eyes, like you were afraid to admit that you wanted your boss. But you do. He's damn near perfect! He's your Papa. He's the one you swore your vows to when you became a Sister of Sin. He's so devoted to his work, to the church, to his followers. He's a good dad. Damn it, you can't understand how she doesn't want him.

If his Prime Mover wasn't going to take care of him, then you would.

Your lips crash back into his, fingertips raking along his scalp harshly, causing him to rut his hips against you, desperate for your touch. As you moan against each other's mouths, his hand explores your body, sliding down your side, your hip, your thigh. Fingers trail up inside your shorts, teasing at the fabric of your panties.

You nearly whine in anticipation, only just now realizing how much you wanted his fingers inside you. Taking your little noise as a good sign, Copia slides his hand between your legs, urging your thighs apart and fabric out of the way as he runs two fingers through your slick folds.

Just to accentuate his actions, he draws your bottom lip between his, nibbling at your swollen flesh, which leaves you room to let out a breathy moan. "Cara..." he pulls back just enough to look at you, eyes blown wide with lust for you, "so wet for me..." He bites his lip, pushing those two fingers deep inside you. Gasping loudly at the feeling, your hands roam his bare skin across his neck, collarbone, chest. He ruts into you at the same pace that he pushes his fingers in and out, eyebrows furrowed, clearly fighting the urge to rush right into things.

"... feels so good, Papa. So good," you praise him, fingernails scratching at him.

"Sorella... I could say the same to you," he pants, brows softening as he presses a kiss to your cheek. How he managed to be so soft yet build such a fire between your legs made no sense to you, but you revel in the dizzying feeling of it all. You feel your walls petal around his digits thats he works in and out of you, thumb frequenting your clit, making you arch for him. "So tight, so warm, Sorella. I can't wait to feel you fully, amore."

"Copia," you drag his name out, "Copia, I need you." His duochromatic eyes search yours, and when your hand snakes down to grip his hot girth, he doesn't have to be told twice.

He curls his fingers sharply one good time, making you mewl out his name again, and pulls them out of you. Quickly, fingers rush to shove your too many layers off to the floor; first the robe, then the shorts, before he pulls you up off the couch, walking you backwards towards his room, lips never leaving yours.

Upon the back of your knees hitting the foot of the bed, the antipope shoves you back on the lofty mattress. Immediately he's on top of you, moving you back onto the pillows. After throwing your tank top across the room, his mouth latches onto your collarbone, sucking a sizable love mark there, fingers tangling into your hair. His other hand found your nipple, rolling it between his fingers as his eyes flicked up to yours to make sure he wasn't going too far.

Your fingers grant him permission with a gentle scratch on the head, and his mouth moves to suck on the soft flesh of your bosom. Toying with the waistband of your panties, he tugs them down, sitting back on his haunches as he flings them off. He leaves you on the bed to free himself from those devilish silk pants, erection springing free, heavy with lust, as he reaches into the bedside drawer to pull out a condom.

𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴? 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘵𝘩𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵'𝘷𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘵. 𝘔𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘢 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘎𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮; 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘶𝘮𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘧𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦...

"Are you ready, cara mia?" he prompts, almost like a nervous teenager doing it for the first time.

Scanning over his body, completely bare to you from his messy hair to his flushed chest, bushy happy trail, and leaky shaft, you nod your head, looking up at him through your eyelashes. "Please, Copia."

Without another word, he ripped the little package and rolled the protection onto himself before climbing back on top of you. It felt good to have him there, like he belonged this close to you.

Wrapping your legs around his waist, he lined himself up with you. He worked gently, as if he might break you if he did what he really wanted to do. Really, it was romantic the way he rocked his hips ever so slowly, cradling your head in his hand, his eyes fluttered closed as he exhaled what felt like all the air in his lungs, nose nuzzling against the side of your neck.

You whine for more as he languidly fills you, his girth pressing on all your walls; you were grateful to have been partially stretched by his fingers earlier. Looking down at him, you bite your lip before pressing a light kiss to his forehead. He meets your eyes, pressing a kiss to your jawline in response.

Finally, it feels like he's bottomed out in you, and his knees dig into the bed as he gives one final push, that last little bit feeling so much more sensational than all the rest as he makes contact with that sweet spot his fingers teased earlier. Letting out an airy whimper, your eyes screw shut as he stays put, taunting the spot without moving.

"P-p-mmm... papaplease-" you whine for him to end his torture.

His cock twitches inside you, and a wicked grin forms on his lips, knowing what he's doing to you. He hasn't even moved yet and you've probably already forgotten your name. It may have been a while since he'd gotten any action, but he was happy to see he hadn't lost his touch.

After what feels like an eternity, he pulls out a bit, relieving the pressure on that spot deep inside you. You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding, and he slides right back in, his tip kissing your sweet spot. Gasping as your thighs tighten their grip around him, he grins again, this time settling just above you to kiss your nose as you take on his assault.

Moving slowly at first, he relaxes into the pleasure of you: the way your delicate fingers curl into his hair, the way your jaw hangs open in pleasure, your eyes looking up into his longing for one another... How long you'd pined for one another without even realizing it; he'd wanted you from the moment he'd met you, seeing the way you cared for his progeny better than anyone else could.

With each thrust he wants you to know how much he cares for you, wants for you, needs you. Tears of lust and longing stain his lashes as he loses himself in the feeling of you surrounding him. As if to add to what he was already feeling, you pull him into a sweet but spicy makeout. His hips pick up pace, needing more.

"Dolcezza... I don't think I'll last..." he lets you know.

"Me either, Papa. Touch me, please."

Obliging you, his hand snakes between your bodies, the rough pad of his middle finger sending a jolt through you as he finds your clit. Between that and the treatment of your g-spot, you're cumming in seconds, growing impossibly tighter around his length each time your muscles convulse.

His lips find yours again, hating to muffle the sounds coming out of you, but desperately needing to kiss you. "Stellina... Ti amo, Stellina. Così tanto... Ho bisogno di te nella mia vita," he cries out for you as he spills into the condom and goes limp on top of you.

You cradle his head against your chest, and for a moment, he wasn't unlike his little one sleeping in the next room, needing your affection. You kiss the top of his head, nuzzling into his messy hair, and he returns the sentiment by nibbling on your earlobe, earning a giggle from you.

With a quick peck on the cheek, he rolls off of you, heading to the bathroom to grab a warm washcloth to clean you up. His aftercare is nearly as good as the lovemaking, as his lips trail behind the terry cloth, leaving a kiss wherever he wipes and soothes your skin.

"Did you mean what you said earlier?" you blurt out.

"What is that, cara mia?" Copia tosses the rag aside and wraps an arm around your waist, cuddling into you.

"That... That you love me," you bite your lip, "and I think you said something about your life? I don't know Italian as well as you obviously..." you trail off.

"Mi dispiace, tesoro, I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable," he caresses your cheek, searching your eyes.

"No, no, you didn't," you tell him, also stroking his cheek.

"I just lose control of myself when I, uhhh, when mia signora makes me feel good," he smiles and taps his fingers on your collarbone, "I hope you know, cara, that I-"

"I love you, too." You stare at him like you'd just been caught with your hand in the cookie jar.

"Oh, Stellina... I didn't know you would feel the same," he admits.

"Of course, I do, Papa. You're... perfect. Who wouldn't love you?"

"Well, I can think of one person," he gives a disgusted half smirk before chewing on his cheek. It wasn't lost on you all the times Copia's Prime Mover had walked out on him, but not before screaming and arguing at the top of her lungs about how much she hated him.

"Hey, hey, don't let her ruin your night. She's ruined too many of them already." You pull him closer, seeing him fight off the anger.

He looks up at you, face softening, "You're right. I'm letting her get to me, when I should be confessing my love to you," he chuckles softly, fingers walking up your arm.

"Yes, you should, Papa. Confess away," you sigh and lean in for another kiss.

"Ahhh, ti amo, principessa mia," he starts dramatically, "sei la mia vita, the very breath I breathe..." You both share a laugh at his little act. "Really, cara mia, I've loved you a long time. And it's supposed to feel wrong, but instead it just feels like... Like what it should've always been. Like you should be the one I'm with. Like you should be il mio bambino's mother."

"Copia," you whisper, tears welling up. You know he shouldn't say things like that, but admittedly it felt nice to hear it. Actually, it made your heart soar.

He pulls you in for another fierce kiss, one that's let's you know exactly how much he means it.

• • •

"Mmm, cara mia... I think I'm calling out of work today," your lover chuckles, squinting in the bright morning sun.

"What's that, old man? Four rounds and the baby crying got you worn out?" you jab at him.

"Did we go four rounds?" He looks impressed with himself.

"Did you lose count?" You both laugh, him groaning at his tired headache. As you wiggle out of bed to go get the little one ready for the day, Copia grabs your wrist.

"Let him sleep. We should too," he begs.

"Are you really calling out today? I'm sure Sister Imperator won't be happy."

"That woman is never happy. Now get your ass back in bed," he pulls you back under the covers, holding you flush against him. "Your 𝘴𝘦𝘹𝘺 ass." He grabs your backside to accentuate his point, leaning in to kiss your neck.

"I thought you wanted to go back to sleep..." You bite your lip with a cheeky grin.

"Maybe we go for round five first, sì?"

• • •

"Sh, sh, shhhh... It's okay, baby boy, it's okay," you whisper into Giovanni's ear, kissing his head repeatedly to calm his tantrum.

Copia's Prime Mover had come home, which means everything is a mess. You'd had a peaceful few days navigating your newly admitted feelings for your boss, and he was settling in to a new routine of being home more for the baby. Of course it was an added bonus that he got to spend his nights with you. But now everything felt like it had been turned on its head.

"Oh, so you think you're the best Daddy in the world since spending more time at home, huh?! Look at you all high and mighty! Making me out to be horrible!" She screams at him, loud enough that you can hear every word from your spot of the balcony. The sound had been driving the baby crazy, so you brought him out here to try to drown it out. It wasn't working as he cried and cried against you.

"Someone has to be here for him! My being here for him says nothing about you. Your own absence says it all," Copia cuts back at her, but it was the truth.

"So... you do think I'm a horrible mother?" She shrinks, wrapping her arms around herself. You try not to look, but you can't help but be concerned for your Papa.

"Of course not, tesoro..." There it is. The little shred of hope he still has for the mother of his child. He steps towards her, gently rubbing his hands over her arms. "You need help. It's not your fault, but you need help. All that stuff you pump into your body isn't good for you. Please let me help."

Finally, the little boy in your arms starts to settle down. You just hoped they wouldn't start shouting again.

She really was a beautiful woman, Copia's Prime Mover. Tall, looks that kill, charming; she really had been a great match for your Papa. Of course that was before the pressure of her position got to her. You suppose you'd be upset too if you got forced into a marriage; you'd probably go off the deep end as well. Copia had his whole life to prepare for that fate; she had a few months, and so she makes herself numb, she runs as far as she can, she resents all of it, especially him.

• • •

You wake early the next morning to a light knock at your guest room door. The sun wasn't even up, so you immediately got worried something was wrong with Gio.

Flinging the door open, you're met with the sight of a broken man. "Papa? What's wrong?"

"She's gone... She left again." He wasn't even blinking, but tears streamed from his mismatched orbs.

"Oh, Copia," you pull him into a hug, supporting him as best you can.

"She said I could get her help. She was going to get help, but she ran away again." He rests his chin on your shoulder, staring off at nothing as you lead him to sit on the edge of your bed.

"Copia... You do everything right. You try so hard for her. And for him," you nod to the nursery, "You can only help her as much as she'll let you. If she doesn't want to change, then she won't. It's not your fault; I hope you know that it isn't your fault."

He takes your hands and nods at you. He didn't have much else to say. He'd dealt with this so many times, he was almost numb to it. Almost.

You look at the clock, seeing that it was only 4am. "Let's get some more sleep, Papa. You need to rest." You stand up to lead him back to his room, but he just sits, looking up at you like a lost dog.

"Can I stay with you, cara mia?"

The simplicity of the question cut you deep; he yearned to not be alone. He didn't want to wake up to a cold empty bed once again.

"Of course, you can."

You climb back into bed, Copia happy to spoon your body. Sitting in comfortable silence, he drifts back off, getting the deepest sleep he'd had in the days since his Prime Mover had come home.

• • •

"Knock knock!" you chirp, entering Papa's office with baby, diaper bag, and picnic basket in tow.

He looks up from something he'd been reading over, a smile spreading across his face at the sight of you, "Ahhh, to what to I owe the pleasure? It's a long trek across the Abbey just to come see me." He stands up from his desk, taking the diaper bag and picnic basket from you and setting them down.

"Da-da!!!" the little one exclaims; he was getting much better at his words.

"Oooh, piccolino, come here," he replies, scooping him up too.

"He wanted to see you," you start, "and I did too... I know you haven't been able to be home as much as you want because of work, so I thought maybe we would bring lunch to you."

Paperwork had stacked up since he was taking more time to be home; he was taking this week to just try to push through as much as he could. But he's also making a plan to hire several assistants and delegate as many of these menial tasks as he can.

"Dolcezza... That is so thoughtful of you," he cups your cheek, giving you a quick peck on the forehead. "I think I could sneak away for a little while." He gives you a wink, bouncing the baby on his hip.

"It's okay if you can't! We can eat in here too. I don't want to get you in trouble with Sister..."

"Silly girl, when are you going to learn I don't care what she thinks?" He smirks at you, returning to his office chair to sign a few more papers before heading out. Somehow him holding the baby while working made him even cuter. "Besides, technically she answers to me."

Out in the gardens, Papa plays with the child, keeping him occupied while you set up lunch. Watching the little one doddle across the grass, Papa towering over him but offering his fingers as support, warmed your heart; Copia had been trying to get him to take his first steps on his own, and he was hellbent on not missing it.

"Okay, boys, time to eat!" you call over to them.

Copia immediately scoops the child up, tossing him high in the air, watching him giggle the whole way. He does it a few more times as he makes his way over to you and the picnic blanket. "Sorella, this all looks so good. Grazie. I wish I could've been some help to you," he offers his gratitude as he sits next to you, baby in his lap.

"It's okay, Papa. We know how hard you've been working, and without you, this whole Abbey wouldn't run, so really I should thank you for making it so wonderful here."

He nods his head at you, silenced by your sweet words. "Still, grazie, cara mia."

Lunch goes by peacefully, enjoying the warm sun and the image playing out before you: Copia trying to get Giovanni to eat some cut up strawberries and the little one sputtering red mush everywhere, making a mess of himself and his father.

"You'll have to change your clothes after lunch," you giggle, taking a bite of your sandwich.

"Mm, what a shame... Won't he be taking a nap then?" Your Papa gives you a smug look.

You blush at his implication and look around to make sure no one could hear. "Papa..."

"Oh, don't be so coy, Sorella. You certainly weren't shy when you went down-"

"Papa!! Hush!" you whisper yell at him, hiding your face in your hands.

He waits for you to peek through your fingers at him, and you both burst out in laughter.

• • •

What was supposed to be a quick stop back in his suite of course turned into a heated make out session on the kitchen counter.

"Cazzo, Stellina, I would take you on the fucking dinner table right now if I could," he grunts, biting at your bottom lip.

"Hmm, guess you'll just have to daydream about it in your office, huh?" You tease him.

"I'll have you there, too, if I have anything to do with it." His hands pull harshly at your hair, smashing his face against yours again. Your tongues dance with one another as your fists crumple the fresh shirt he'd put on.

When you can no longer wait for air, you push yourself off of him, breathing heavy. "You're gonna have to fix your paint, you know that?" you chuckle.

"I can see that," he wipes some gray from your lip to show you.

You both fall into giggles again, staring into each other's eyes as you reluctantly release one another to return back to your duties.

• • •

"Mm, we've probably got a few minutes before little Gio wakes up, right?" Copia grumbles into your cleavage.

You swear this man will be the death of you. He finally gets a day off, to sleep in if he wants, and the first things on his mind this morning is pounding you into the mattress... Again. Like he didn't do that all last night.

"All you ever think about is sex," you chuckle, kissing the top of his head.

"When it's as good as you are, amore mio, sì. I think about it morning, noon, and night," he starts pressing kisses across your chest, grinding his growing hardness against your thigh.

"Copia-" you start, hearing a couple thuds down the hallway, "What is that? Do you hear that?"

Seconds later, a loud shriek comes from the baby's room. In an instant you're both jumping up to throw on some clothes.

Copia slips on some pants before bolting out of his room with you hot on his trail, tying on his robe. In the hallway, you're both confronted with Copia's Prime Mover with Giovanni on her hip and diaper bag slung over her shoulder.

"What are you doing?!" The man steps right in front of her to stop her from shoving further down the hallway.

"I'm taking him and we're going!! You've got some new life now, so we're gonna move on too!" She is clearly out of her mind, her eyes bloodshot like she hasn't slept in days and bruises all up her forearms.

"What are you talking about??" Copia attempts to grab the child from her, but she snatches him away, which only eggs on his crying.

"Oh, please! You think I don't know you're fucking the nanny?! I saw the condoms in the trash last time I was here, and now she's in your robe!"

Tears of anger build up in his eyes as he turns to look at you; he felt totally helpless.

It gives his Prime Mover just enough time to push past him and into the living area. "You just want to put me away so you can move on to your new life with your newer, younger little whore!"

"Do not talk about her! She cares for your child more than you do!! While you're out on the streets strung out, she's here, doing the job you took vows to do!" he shouts to defend you.

"That was before I knew you ran a cult! All of this is just some facade to make you famous! You're a selfish bastard, leading the blind just so you won't be lonely like when you were a kid," her words cut deep.

Copia clenches both fists, a fire you'd never seen in his eyes before, as he very evenly doles out, "Give me back my child and get the fuck out."

As if on cue, the little one reaches out for you, face red as tears stream down his face, "Mama! Mamaaa!!"

You step closer to her, wanting to reach out for the squirming little bundle in her arm.

"So you think you're his mama now?" she cuts her eyes at you.

"No, I- I tried to teach him... I would never," you stammer, not knowing what to do, "Please. Please just give him to me."

"What? Let you have my husband and my baby? I think not, bitch." She moves towards the door, but you move with her, body acting on pure adrenaline now. The child reaches out, little hands latching onto your robe, and you wrap your arms around him to slip him away from her, but her fingers lock tightly around his thigh, making him shriek once again.

"Please. Please don't hurt him!! Don't hurt him!" You raise your voice at her, holding the baby tight to your chest.

The next thing you know, Copia is letting Aether and a couple other ghouls in the room, and they swiftly pounce on her, pulling her away from you and the baby you care so much about. You look down to see that his little leg was already bruising from where she'd grabbed and twisted at his skin.

You held him tightly, bouncing him around and humming something to drown it all out as Copia and the ghouls dragged her out into the hallway. The antipope was absolutely seething, and you didn't care to know what he was screaming at her.

Looking out to the sunny balcony, you feel the urge to walk out there. Honestly it was probably to soothe you as much as it was for the screaming one in your arms. Before you can move a muscle, your lover bursts back into the room, making a beeline for you. Without a word, he wraps his arms around you and Gio, resting his chin on top of your head. Fighting back tears, he holds you like that for a while.

Finally comes a soft, "I am so sorry, cara."

Pulling away just enough to look up at him, you reassure him, "It's not your fault. Are you okay?"

"I will be. Please tell me she didn't hurt you," he brushes his fingers through your hair.

"No, she didn't, but we may need to have this looked at," you motion to his son's bruised leg.

A series of emotions flash across Copia's face upon seeing the injury. Part of him blames himself for ever letting that woman get close to either of you. But he also knew that without her, he wouldn't have either of you in his life.

"Well, she's not coming back. I won't let her hurt anyone here ever again. She needs help but I can't keep letting her come back, not when I have a son who needs safety and stability."

• • •

Months went by, and it felt like a whole new chapter for all of you. Copia officially separated from his Prime Mover, announcing it at Black Mass; he always felt transparency was important in his congregation. You had moved into his room permanently, and Copia had even hired another nanny to give you a break from time to time. He didn't want you feeling like caring for his son was the only thing you were good for. He also hired assistants for his office, Siblings of Sin who were honored to take some weight off their Papa's shoulders.

Now that the two of you had less worries, you almost didn't know how to fill your time. Almost...

"Your sidekick has Giovanni out in the gardens... What do you say we have our own playtime, eh?" Copia chuckles next to your ear as you recline back against his chest on the sofa.

"Do not call her my sidekick," you laugh at your lover, "She does just as much work as me, she deserves more credit than that."

"I don't know, dolcezza... She doesn't spend the night like you do."

"Oh, and look how much trouble that got us in," you smirk, turning to catch him in a kiss. "You're not going to start sleeping with the new nanny again, are you?"

"No, no, no, no, amore mio," he whispers right in your ear, "Il mio cazzo belongs to you alone."

You huff out a laugh, "That's all? Just your 𝘤𝘢𝘻𝘻𝘰?"

"Well, perhaps il mio cuore, too..."

"Perhaps, huh?" you tease him, turning to get on your knees in between his legs. Leaning forward, you give him a single chaste kiss. "Don't I deserve a little more than 'perhaps'?" You sit back on your heels, unbuttoning your shirt slowly.

"Dolcezza..." Copia pants, already excited just from seeing your lacy bra.

"Ah, ah, ahhh. Don't 'dolcezza' me," you wink at him.

"Please-" he whines in a way that was a little unbecoming of a Papa.

Your shirt drifts slowly to the floor, and Copia reaches out to touch you, but you swat his hands away. "I don't know, Papa. Maybe I don't mean enough to you. Maybe I should just go take care of the throbbing between my legs all by myself, huh? Make you sit out here and listen while I cry out, making a mess of myself..."

He feels his cock twitch at the thought of you touching yourself in his bed.

"Stellina, please, you know I love you so..." His eyes roam your body hungrily.

"How do I know you mean it, Papa? That you aren't just saying that? For all I know, you tell the other nanny that all the time..." You grin at him, leaning forward and propping yourself up on your knees. With your elbows propped on his shoulders, he has a nice view of your cleavage spilling out of your bra just the way he likes.

"No one else is worthy of those words, no one else is worthy of these feelings I have for you." His arm snakes around you, hand resting on the small of your back. "Let me show you, cara mia. Let me prove how much I love you. Only you."

You bite your lip. It felt good to make a powerful man like him crumble, to have him rock hard without even touching him. Your little teasing game is fun, but you know his words are serious.

"Take me, Papa. Make me all yours. Prove I'm the only one for you."

With that, he wraps his arms around your thighs, carrying you right to his bedroom and kicking the door closed loudly. Your back hits the bed and your torso is met by his hot mouth tracing all your curves. Impatiently, he pulls at your tight pencil skirt, needing to feel more of your skin.

Reaching down, you undo the zipper on your hip, "There." Another wink.

The skirt finds its place in the corner of the room as Copia kisses at the top of your panties. "Mia dea... ti amo con tutto quello che ho. Sei la mia dea."

A blush tints your cheeks, you'd learned a bit more Italian in the last few months.

"Worship me, then."

He looks up to meet your commanding eyes, freezing for a brief moment before working his own shirt to the floor and positioning himself between your sinful thighs. Kissing at the supple skin there, he hooks one of your legs over his shoulder. Hungrily, his fingers grab at your skin until they hook into the lace at your hip. A tearing sound rings out and you feel his breath on your core.

"Hey! I liked those!" you whine.

"I'll buy you another pair, principessa," he looks up at you through his eyelashes while placing a sloppy kiss right to your clit. You can't help but buck up into his mouth at the sensation.

He grips your hips firmly to hold you in place. You had taunted the beast and now you would reap what you sowed. His mouth latches onto you, sucking on your already swollen clit. The feeling is so intense, you instinctively try to push him off you, but he is having none of it.

"Oh!! Papa!" you cry out, one hand tangling in his hair and the other gripping his satin sheets.

He offers you some reprieve by backing off of your bundle of nerves and instead opting to flatten his tongue against you, licking a stripe. His tongue then traces your folds before teasing your entrance, threatening to push inside. And he does just that. Eyes rolling back in his head as he stretches you with his tongue.

It has you mewling his name and arching as much as his grip will let you. When his nose makes contact with your clit, your hand in his hair tightens as you practically fuck yourself on his face.

His lips move back up to suck on your clit again, and you whimper at the loss of his tongue, but it is quickly replaced by two fingers curling deep inside you, as deep as he can reach. 𝘎𝘰𝘥𝘥𝘢𝘮𝘯𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘦. Devious eyes watch your face as he curls his digits, scratching that spot that he finds so well.

"Papa- damnit! Satanas, Papa, I'm gonna cum," you warn him, but he's ready for it, only sucking harder at your words. You let out a needy moan as your body shudders around his fingers, juices coating his hand and chin. He doesn't stop until you're done riding out the wave of your orgasm.

Unexpectedly, he snatches you up in a kiss, forcing you to taste yourself on him. "Do you taste that, amore? You on my mouth. There will never be another, you are the only one, I could never want for anyone else." He has your head reeling; he's never been so possessive, and it's hot.

Pulling him down, you both fall back on the plush bed together. His fingers lace with yours and his erection presses against your thigh, still trapped in those unholy tight jeans. Wanting to offer him some relief, you tease your fingers over the large bulge, cupping at it and earning a groan from the man. Clearly, he was in need of some attention, so you pop open the button and slide the zipper down, taking his girth in your hand.

"Cazzo, baby, I need you," his eyebrows knit together as he begs for you.

"Then, take me, Papa," you wink at him, "No need to keep me waiting!"

He chuckles and gives you one more kiss before kicking off his jeans. "This needs to go," he snakes a hand behind your back to unhook your bra, banishing it to the corner with your skirt. His mouth gently teases your nipples as he stretches for the bedside drawer, fumbling for a condom.

Suddenly, he sits up, looking a little frantically at the empty box in the drawer. "Fuck!" He groans, head falling in his hands, "I forgot to send Aether for more..."

"Oooh so that's who does your dirty work, huh?" You tease, sitting up next to him, and giving him a kiss on the cheek. "It's okay, ya know... Maybe we don't need one."

He gives you a confused look.

"Maybe... maybe it's about time for little Gio to be a big brother, hm?"

His eyes widen, eyebrows raised drastically. He dips his head slightly, reading your face for any sign that this was a joke. "A-are you... Are you s-sure, amore?"

You love those funny little moments when the stuttering Cardinal jumps back out of him again. "Yes," you chew on your bottom lip, cupping his cheek, "I'm sure. Let's have a baby."

For a brief moment, it looked like his brain was short-circuiting. "O-okay," he nods his head, eyebrows softening and a big smile spreading across his face. "You're really sure, Stellina?" He takes his face in your hands, looking all sappy, "You want to have miei bambini?"

"Sì," you nod at his little switch to Italian, kissing him on the nose, "Now are we gonna get all lovey dovey about it, or are you gonna get me pregnant?" Your fingers tease at his erection, still standing proudly.

"Mmm, maybe a little of both, sì?" His lips catch yours again, and the weight of his body pushes your back down onto the bed. You spread your legs for him to get between them, but he simply shakes his head, flipping you over instead. When you look over your shoulder at him, feigning a snooty look, he chuckles deeply before growling in your ear, "You intend to be bred, do you not, Sorella?"

His words make your stomach do flips, and you clench your thighs together at the thought.

Now with you flat on your stomach, Copia's strong hands works the muscles in your back, slowly massaging up from the small of your back to your shoulder blades. "I need you nice and relaxed, principessa." His fingers lace into the base of your hair, tugging your head up to look at him, "You want it to take, sì?"

"Yes, Papa. I do," you moan for him.

"Bene..." He shoves your head back down in the pillows and lands a sharp 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘬! on your ass, earning a squeal from you. After he smoothes over the red mark, he lets his hand dip between your thighs. His fingers moving over your folds at this angle feel impeccable.

You push your ass up in the air, trying to get more friction from him, not even understanding how he could be so patient right now. But as if reading your mind, you feel his warm thighs straddle yours and his tip line up with you.

"To feel you so fully and completely, amore mio... I know this will be spectacular," he praises you, pushing forward with a needy groan.

It does feel a little different than what you'd grown used to, hearing a little pop as the tip pushes through your entrance. Things feel somehow smoother than before, maybe from the lack of protection, but maybe you were just that wet. You take him all the way to the hilt, whimpering and moaning into the pillow.

He sets a devilish pace pretty quickly, barely giving you time to get used to the stretch. The discomfort quickly wanes, and you feel your lover's breath hot on your back as he fucks into you in earnest, losing himself in feeling your wet heat unshielded. He leans down to press a few kisses and small bite to your shoulder before he throws his head back, really picking up the pace.

Your hands reach back gripping at his thighs mostly, as your makeup smears across his satin pillowcases.

"Cara... I need- more," he grunts, a small warning before he sits himself up, dragging your hips up off the bed and slams back into you.

"Ah!!!" you scream at the sudden movement, trying to stabilize yourself on your hands and knees. The sound of skin slapping skin fills the air alongside your noises of pleasure.

One of Copia's hands leaves your hips to ponytail your hair, pulling harshly to urge you back on his girth with more force.

"Papaaa!" is the only thing you can manage, hardly able to form a thought at this point.

"Mia dolce dea, I'm going to fill you with my seed. I'll make you grow round with my child," he tells you between thrusts, "it will be... 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘢, 𝘢𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦, 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘢..."

"Copia, please... Please, touch me, Papa," you cry for him.

Using the grip he maintained on your hair, he heaves you up so you're standing on your knees, back flush against his chest, "You think I would leave mia principessa untouched? What kind of Papa do you think I am?"

Finally releasing your hair, the rough pads of his fingers toy with your nipples. He can't wait until your breasts swell too... Holding you stable with one arm, the other searches for your clit, finding it in expert time. As his finger starts to circle it, you arch your hips back, also aiding him in finding that perfect spot inside you, "Oh! Oh, Satanas Papa! Right 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦- 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱!"

Always a good listener, he does exactly as he's told, holding his pace, snapping up into your heat the exact same way every time. You feel your orgasm rapidly approaching under his ministrations.

"Vieni per me, amore, per favore, vieni per me. I'm cumming- cum with me," he loses himself in the feeling of you. And when you feel an unfamiliar warmth spread deep inside you, it sends you right over the edge with him.

Your lover struggles to hold you close to him as you double over, riding out your release. His hips continue to buck into you in shallow thrusts through his orgasm.

Finally, he sits back on his heels, pulling you with him, cock still stuffed inside you. He throws his head back and rakes his hands through his hair, jaw hung open as he catches his breath. "You are perfetto, amore mio. You know this?" He wraps his arms around you, hugging your torso.

"I'm far from it, Copia." You lean back against him, resting your head against his jaw.

"No, no, no. I will show you how perfect you are. Even if it takes our whole lives, you will know how much you mean to me." He kisses the top of your head, chest still heaving.

"Papa..." you turn, giving him a quick, sloppy kiss, "I love you."

"Anch'io ti amo, cara mia, ti amo così tanto."

[sakkiichi]

BETTER THAN REVENGE.

you and your ex ended on bad terms. you want revenge. your annoying best friend might be the answer.

ft. Childe x gn! reader.

cw/genre: romance, fake dating, friends to lovers, mild angst, fluff, modern/college au, very brief mention of alcohol consumption.

word count: 2.6k.

i dreamt about this idea months ago, and i thought my first genshin crush’s birthday would be a good day to write it hehe. happy birthday ajax <3

What did you ever see in that asshole, you will never know.

You hate him. Of that, you are certain.

You really tried to put effort into your relationship, made time for him, prioritized him.

It seemed to always go unreturned.

And that much is made clear tonight, the sight of him making out with someone else at this party you don’t even know why you decided to attend, being the last straw.

“We’re done, you jerk.” Are the words you spat at him, throwing the remnants of your drink at your now ex-boyfriend.

You regret it now. Having wasted half a drink, that is.

The music blasting through the speakers is soon replaced by crickets chirping and the night wind ruffling through the trees. You spare a glance at the moon above. Full, its rays seemingly lighting up a liquid silver trail leading to you.

“Leaving so soon?” A familiar, and, might you add, annoying at times, voice questions.

Well, at least it’s better than hearing your ex, you muse to yourself, as you turn around to face your friend.

His ocean blue eyes glimmer in the summer starlight rain, matching the color of his baby blue t-shirt.

A smile makes it to your face. You always loved to steal that one when you had sleepovers.

“Nothing gold can stay, am I right, Ajax?” You retort, a mirthless grin plastered on your moonlit features.

Your friend takes a few steps forward, coming to stand next to you, shoulder playfully bumping against yours.

“I’d rather you stayed, though.” He says, a melancholy smile tugging at his lips.

You close your eyes, a sigh escaping you into the night.

“Let’s just say… I’ve had enough for tonight.” You mutter, exhaustion beginning to catch up to you.

“Anything happen?” Childe asks, ginger strands swaying around his face in the warm zephyr.

You bark a dry laugh, yet all you feel running through your veins is boiling anger.

“Well, I saw that asshole kissing someone else.” You cross your arms over your chest. “So I made it clear we’re done. I also wasted half my drink on that shithead when I spilled it on his face.” You tilt your head to the side. “Pity, that cocktail was much more worth it than him.” You add, matter of factly.

Ajax chuckles. He always liked your unapologetic remarks.

“You really did that?” He laughs. It’s nice, sincere. Then: “He didn’t deserve you anyway.”

“Eh, probably not.” You shrug. “I just really want to piss him off now.”

“Oh?” Your friend’s usually dull marine eyes light up in amusement. “Any ideas?”

“Huh, not yet…” You ponder, worrying your thumbnail between your teeth.

Childe levels his gaze with yours, that impish grin meaning he was up to no good not unlike the edge of the moon above.

“Date me.” He smirks, just like that.

And at that moment, you’re too aware of the heat rising to your cheeks, of the wild pounding of your heart against your ribcage, of the constellations of freckles dotting the bridge of Ajax’s nose. “You know, just as show, to spite him.”

And perhaps it’s the sweet intoxication of your half drunk cocktail, or the way a lake of stardust seems reflected in his eyes, but you find your pinky linked with his before you have half the mind to back off.

“Deal.”

—

On hindsight, perhaps you were impulsive.

Was it really a good idea to involve your best friend in this game of spite?

Readjusting your bag on your shoulder, you walk to your first period class.

Students, some more sleepy than others mill around campus, a collage of headphones on, hands busy on screens and chit chat filling the early morning air.

“Morning, babe.” Are the first words directed at you today, followed by a chaste kiss to your cheek.

“Ajax…” You whisper-shout, frowning, face warming up. “You know you just need to pretend.”

“I’m very aware of that.” He whispers, lips brushing the shell of your ear, as his voice lowers a little more. “He’s looking, sweetheart.”

Despite your quickened heartbeat, a devilish grin makes it to your features, arms wrapping around your best friend temporarily turned “boyfriend”.

“Ajax!” You coo, sweetly. “I had missed you so much! Ah! How am I going to endure six hours of class without seeing you?”

The redhead embraces you, arms tightening around your waist, dangerously close to your hipbones. His face buries in the crook of your neck, nuzzling into you, lovingly.

“Good, he just stormed off.” He murmurs, giving your waist a reassuring squeeze.

You smile brightly, luminous eyes meeting his crinkled up ones.

His hand slides into yours, pressing it reassuringly, before you two part, promising to meet afterwards.

Oddly enough, when you sit at the back of the seminar, six hours feel like an eternity.

But, like all things, your classes come to an end, eventually.

Mindlessly scrolling through your phone, you leave the building.

It’s weird, this sensation, though.

You’ve been close with Childe for years, you’ve hugged countless times, slept at each other’s place just as many.

So, why now? Why did you feel all jittery and giddy at his subtle touches just earlier?

Perhaps you’re still shaken from your breakup, as much as you can’t stand your ex.

“Hey there, pretty.”

You look up from your phone to be met with the colors of oceans and sunrises, Ajax’s grinning face centimeters away from yours.

“Childe.” You bluntly greet him. It’s unfair how the early evening sun kisses his skin just right, the light dusting of freckles over his nose and cheeks reminding you of the stars that soon will start decorating the sky. You clear your throat, then:

“You know we just need to look like we’re dating, right? I thought I’d made myself clear.” You don’t know if your statement is more directed at him or at yourself.

“I know,” the ginger smiles, falling in step by your side. “But we need to make it look convincing, don’t we?” He winks, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

“You’re insufferable, as always.” You grumble.

And yet, despite no one really being around at the moment, you make no effort to push the man away. And you definitely don’t complain when he switches to your other side, hand lingering on the small of your back, so that you take the innermost half of the sidewalk, away from the cars.

If someone were to ask, however, no, you certainly are not leaning into Ajax’s comforting hold.

—

A few more weeks go by, with most of your free time spent with your “fake boyfriend.”

And as much as you’ve always cherished him, despite his, at times, obnoxious nature, you certainly are confused right now.

What is it you feel for him? You like these newfound moments of shared tenderness between the two, so much that you wish they weren’t fabricated sometimes… What would it be like to love someone truly? To have someone love you?

What do his lips taste like? You wonder, as you have a few more sips of your iced peach juice.

You shake your head. No, you definitely did not think that. Must be the heat, messing with your head, surely.

However, willing fantasy or not, it turns out fate had indeed planned for you to indulge in your cravings.

The door of the establishment opens, the small bell above it signaling the entrance of another customer.

“[Y/n?]” Ajax calls, from the sit across you.

You tilt your head to the side, your redhead friend’s eyes focused on something behind you.

“Yeah?”

“Kiss me.”

“What?” You almost shout, the sound dying down to a whisper the moment his thumb brushes over your lower lip.

“Do you trust me?” He smirks.

“Yes, but-“

“You said yes.” Are Childe’s words before leaning in.

To say he was a good kisser would be an understatement.

His lips on yours feel like a roaring ocean, notes of spearmint and sunshine contained in the secret message in a bottle the waves of him carry. Ajax’s calloused hands cup your jaw, ruddy locks of hair tickling you when he angles his head to the side to deepen the kiss.

You wish this was real.

But would it really be a crime to play your part right now?

Your fingers tangle in his tangerine hued strands, slightly tugging at them as you bring him closer to you.

You don’t care if this is swimming against the current, if you did drown right now, you would go happy.

But because he’d be damned before he let you drown, your best friend pulls away, allowing air back into your lungs.

That’s the very best goddamn kiss you’ve ever been given.

But, alas, sometimes you think “stupid” should be Ajax’s middle name.

When you glance his way, he keeps looking at something beyond you, that shit eating smirk plastered on the lips you want to kiss again.

When you spare a peek over your shoulder, you spot him. Your ex, sitting with some girl, his face ashen as he looks in your direction.

So that’s all this was.

You should have figured, you chide yourself as you fiddle with the straw of your juice.

If you had payed attention, however, you would have noticed a pair of starry blue eyes not leaving you.

—

And after that arrives the day you realize you are screwed.

This was all just supposed to be a make believe charade, not you actually falling for your friend.

Because you can’t deny it anymore; whatever it is Ajax is to you now, it goes way past platonic.

You can’t let these feelings be known. Ever.

But how are you supposed to ignore all of his sweet gestures? His tender touches when holding your hand; the way he remembers your favorite ice cream, smoothie and coffee orders; how he brings you lunch when he ends up cooking too much for his siblings; or the way not only are you stealing his t-shirts on nights you fall asleep at each other’s rooms, but how he now drapes his hoodie over your shoulders, the night breeze uncharacteristically chilly for this time of year.

And that kiss. That goddamn kiss.

And perhaps your last breakup scarred you more than you let on; or maybe you love Ajax too much to keep up this lie with him. But before you can think twice, the words are out of your lips, glacial shards of a broken dream on a midsummer’s night:

“Ajax? Let’s stop doing this.”

Those eyes of his that sparkled in sapphire hues dim again at your statement.

He searches for your gaze, but you won’t look at him.

“Why? Something wrong?” Childe tries for his usual carefree tone, but you know better; the hurt and strained fear in the words he doesn’t speak are clear as day to you.

“Yes! I mean no! I mean…” You sigh. “I don’t think it makes sense anymore.”

In reality, what doesn’t make sense is pretending this relationship of yours is just for show. But you can’t let him know that.

“Got cold feet?” Your friend, or whatever he is now, asks, oceanic gaze glazed over, not a single star reflected in it when he stares skyward.

‘If only you could know’. Is the sentence you don’t let out through bitten lips.

Instead you offer:

“I don’t think this makes sense anymore.” Unconsciously, you adjust his hoodie a little tighter around your figure. “I just- I think I’ve gotten the revenge I wanted. I… I don’t know, I just want to hang out with you again, but honestly, not like this, not for an audience…”

You stop walking, standing a few paces before him.

“We don’t have to do any of this for the public, you know.” Your friend, crush, partner in crime? assures, shortening the distance between you with his long strides.

“But we do.” You sadly whisper, averting your eyes to the side. You can feel wetness pooling on them. Great, just what you needed. “I… I don’t want more fabricated romantic moments, I’ve had enough of love that was never anything to begin with before.” You humorlessly add. “I just, I want the next time I kiss someone or hold their hand… I want it to be real, for it to mean something… and I can’t keep stealing moments like these from you either, Childe.”

Salty droplets start to dye the grey pavement as you keep your eyes glued to it. Everything feels so complicated, so messy…

“I know this was your idea but… I can’t keep-“

“What makes you think it wasn’t real?” Familiar calloused fingers caress your cheeks, gathering the starless wetness sliding down them. “What makes you think you were stealing these moments from me?” Strong arms envelop you, akin to the early morning rays dancing over gentle waves lapping at the seashore. “It was my idea, right? You said it yourself. Why do you think that was?”

“I don’t know!” You sob into his chest. “I guess you were looking for fun, or you wanted to help me…” You wonder, voice a breath away from becoming fragments of a shattered snowglobe.

Ajax chuckles, soft. His hold on you tightens a little. Then:

“You know, sometimes you can be so dumb, [Y/n].” He utters, tone devoid of his usual teasing. “It was my plan, on that you are right.” His hands rest on your shoulders, as he pulls away to look at you. “But I guess now would be a good time to tell you why.” He shifts his weight on his feet, an unusual dusting of pink creeping up his neck caught by the streetlights. “Truth is, I was scared to, well, ask you out normally, I was scared of you saying no. When you started dating him, I hated him, but I hated myself more, for not having been able to prevent it. You looked unhappy.” He shoves his hands in his pants’ pockets. “So I don’t know, I figured maybe if we pretended, we’d keep it up for a while, or maybe if I was lucky, you’d really fall for me… kinda dense, right?”

You sniff, a smile tugging at your lips despite your cries.

“Yeah, definitely stupid.” You laugh softly, through the tears. “But effective.” You admit, glossy eyes searching for the molten northern stars in his stare.

“Wait, so you actually fell-?”

“Ajax. Kiss me. For real this time.” You plead, clutching the front of his baby blue t-shirt, urging him closer to you.

“What makes you think it wasn’t for real the first time?” He smirks, as his lips link with yours for the second time.

Your arms loop around his neck, his hands digging on the flesh of your lower waist, his palms a searing wave under your shirt. Childe’s kiss tastes of fireworks reflected over a still ocean, the quiet of the minutes before midnight in stark contradiction to the wild drumming of your infatuated heart. You stand on your tiptoes, desperately meeting his tidal wave at its zenith, the caress of the blossoming moon above and Ajax’s tongue swiping over your swollen lips sending shivers down your spine.

The clock strikes twelve, and a beeping sound interrupts the reverie.

Grumbling, you fish your phone out of your borrowed jacket’s pocket.

“00:00

Thursday, July 20th.

Ajax’s bday !! <3”

Your lit up screen reads.

You both let out a chuckle.

“Hey, Childe?” You call him. “Make a wish.”

“I don’t need to.” Constellations are reflected in his azure gaze, lovestruck with images of you dancing amongst them, the smile on his face dopey and entranced.

“Let me give you another present, then.” You tell him, pulling him close again. “Happy birthday, Ajax.” You breathe, as his hands hook under your thighs and your lips crash together again, no onlookers but the moon and stars this time.

[katzkinder]

Okay so the dichotomy between your Sakuya Cherry Bomb idea and Yarra's Kuro vtuber is hilarious to me because like.

Sakuya: Fans only know him as Cherry Bomb and don't know anything about him outside of his music.

Vs

Kuro: Vtuber Lore is literally just his life but it should be fine because people dont know vampires are real.

I FUCKING FOUND IT. LINK TO THE CHERRY BOMB POST 🍒💣

Anyway one of the reasons for the difference is I headcanon Sakuya as being a 90s kid! as in, he died in the 90s--

This, naturally, makes him a lot more wary about the info he puts out there on the internet, but it also means his internet experience was molded by Ye Olden Days when creators were a lot less available to their fanbases and interacted with them very little, if at all.

He doesn't even have a fanart hub, and his icon is just a random street in tokyo he thought looked nice.

His classmates REALLY do not get why Sakuya is so paranoid, so Sakuya shows them how easy it would be for a super dedicated person to figure out exactly where Mahiru’s apartment is using his cooking tutorial videos (uploaded under the channel name "Sunny Mama" courtesy of Kuro) and basic realtor research

Things like Mahiru apologizing for any construction noise and using the time stamp to figure out which apartment complexes had construction in their vicinity during that time, floor plans, how even his living situation and the model of his appliances can all be used to narrow down the area he lives in.

“He lives with his uncle and the camera man, which means at least two rooms. We can see the stove top and the front of the oven, so I take a screenshot of that and… Ah, this is the brand. Now I research the model. Okay, I have two components. He mentions that he walks to school, so that’s a two bedroom apartment in Tokyo within walking distance of a high school with good quality appliances, which means I can rule out a lot of run down complexes. This grocery bag was in frame during this video, and a high school kid Mahiru’s age wouldn’t have a license, so now I add that name of the store to my list of things I know are around the complex because when you go grocery shopping, you don’t want to carry the bags a long distance home…”

The faces of his friends are full of horror.

"And that’s not even getting into the drinking with uncle segment that happens in their living room, with full view of the balcony because Mahiru hates the place getting musty so he leaves the curtains open a lot. Knowing what buildings are viewable from there can also tell someone where a place is, especially if you’re thorough enough to consider the angle you’re seeing everything at.” Sakuya glances up and closes his laptop. “So, yeah.”

Mahiru makes a Noise, fretting, "Wait, so what do I do now??"

Sakuya feels a little bad for scaring his friend, but it's for his own good! “Keep your curtains closed, make sure the screws in your door frame are the really long kind to prevent someone from just kicking the door off its hinges, don’t get electronic locks because it’s stupid easy to trick those into unlocking, and just… Be more careful? Wear a mask from now on and go back and edit footage to remove your face from the visible shot. Try and keep things focused on your hands instead, maybe…”

"Should I get rid of the drinking with uncle part? Since that always focuses on Uncle Tooru's reactions..."

"He’s a grown up and an old man. Nobody’s going to be interested in pulling him into a windowless white van unless it’s those creep show friends of his…”

"Wh--Why would anyone be interested in pulling me into a windowless white van?!"

"Sex trafficking."

"Eh?"

"Or stealing your organs."

"Eh?"

“Or even just some obsessive pervert who’s built up some kind of fantasy in their head that you’re fated for one another but you just don’t realize it yet.”

"What."

As you can tell. Yeah. Sakuya really internalized those 90s internet safety psas. He's also well acquainted with the idea of a very dedicated stalker for. Reasons.

Tsubaki voice: that boy just isn't right...

[twstfanblog]

*~ Halloween Hijinks ~*

A/N: Silly little thing I thought up and managed to finish on time. Happy Halloween everybody!!

Sam had agreed to let Yuu come to town with him, even offered to take a few of their friends if they wanted to come along. He needed to be at the docks by mid afternoon to pick up the massive order of props and materials for the upcoming Halloween Fair the school hosted. It’d take a while for him to get everything checked and settled, so Yuu would have plenty of time to explore the town until it was time to go back to campus. So, with permission from Crewel (And Crowley, but who cares.), Yuu and a select group of friends were set to accompany Sam.

But of course, Yuu could not just simply do things. They loved to have a theme, a motif, a little funny trick to enjoy at the expense of the masses. So in the ‘Freshest Firsties’ group chat, Yuu proposed a simple addition to their outing just to make it more fun. Seeing how most of them agreed, the plan was set.

Crewel had a massive roll of black fabric that was ‘The wrong shade’, so Yuu was free to cut and play with it as they wanted. They had made not only themselves and Grim, but also the rest of their friends matching simple cloaks and witch hats to wear to their outing on the town. Fastening the cloak, Yuu made sure it was completely covering their body, smiling once they saw it was. Looking down at Grim, the cat monster merely a black mess of fabric and a witch hat, Yuu picked him up, “Welp, let’s go distress the masses.”

Grim tilts his head, allowing his grin to be shown, “Yeah!”

~*~*~*~*~*~

Riddle was concerned.

He stood at the window outside of his office, Trey and Cater on either side of him. Outside, Yuu was twisting their body in a jerking motion that he supposed could be called dancing. He hoped that the bouncing shape on their head was Grim, but it was hard to tell when all any of them could see was a glimpse of blue fire under the oversized hat.

“Should…we go out there?” Trey looked at them, eyebrows creased in worry, his expression only deepening when Yuu started to add more movements to their strange dance.

Cat looks away from his phone, filming the weird performance for his own amusement, “Do you wanna go out there? #I’ve-Seen-This-Movie…”

Riddle sighs, folding his arms and raising an eyebrow, “Well, we can’t just let them…Wait…”

Two new figures were racing out from the dorm, matching black cloaks making them seem like they were merely floating instead of running. Once they reach Yuu, they all turn in a circle, revealing the new figures to be Ace and Deuce. One more brief twirl and hop dance later, the four of them raced off to the mirror, disappearing from view.

…

“...” Trey turned back to them, opening his mouth, “-”

“No.” Riddle turned around, walking away from the window and back toward his office, closing the door firmly behind him.

Cater and Trey stood in the hallway, sharing a glance before Cater smiled and shrugged. Tapping at his phone, he walks away as he starts to post the odd video, “Eh. I’m sure they’re fine…#Cult-Things-With-The-Boyz.”

Trey stood at the window, sighing softly, “I need a glass of milk…”

~*~*~*~*~*~

Leona laid in bed, glaring at the ceiling while the phone in his hand rang. Ruggie was late, later than he normally was anyway. He not only missed Leona waking up, but he had been awake for nearly 15 minutes and the hyena hadn’t shown up yet. He should have been there already with his lunch. In a move that wasn’t worry, he started to ring him up, and even that was taking forever.

Ruggie finally picks up the call, speaking in a nonchalant tone, “Y’ello?”

“Where the hell are you?”

“Uh…In the dorm.”

“Well, get up here already.”

“Uuuuuh…Can’t.”

“...” Leona sits up in his bed, looking at his phone with a puzzled expression, “What the fuck do you mean ‘Can’t’?”

“Just…Just come to the lounge and you’ll see…”

Leona kept on the call, walking out to the railing that looked over the lounge area, freezing at the scene before him. There was Ruggie, one hand holding the phone to his mouth and the other gripping the bag containing their lunch. But, circling around him like a group of over-sized vultures were three black-cloaked figures, a smaller shape skittering around the circle at a faster pace than the others. They walked in a tight enough circle that it seemed Ruggie wasn’t able to move freely enough to use his UM. Not to mention they’d every now and again do some weird movement that Ruggie would have to lean away to dodge.

“...Ruggie, what the fuck am I looking at?”

“Just come down here to get your damn food. I think I’ve been chosen for a sacrifice or some shit.”

“I’m not going down there-Oh.”

“What? What? You can’t just say ‘Oh’ and not-AH, WHAT THE FUCK!?” Ruggie threw whatever half caution he had to the wind, dipping lowing and shoving past Deuce once he saw a massive figure in black speeding toward them.

Leona gripped the railing, hoping his laughter was echoing and giving Ruggie a headache as Jack joined who he suspected to be Yuu and their other little friends. A brief greeting was only given in a matching full-body shake before the flock was off toward the mirror, leaving behind a heavily breathing Ruggie, a confused mass of bystanders, and a cackling Leona.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Um, Azul?” Jade peeked his head into the backroom smiling before he bowed lightly, “There’s a bit of a situation happening in the lounge.”

Sighing, Azul put his pen down to give Jade his full attention, “And you need my help with it why?”

“Well, it seems your date-mate has descended upon the lounge with a coven of their dark brethren.”

“...” Azul reached up, pulling off his glasses as though that would help him clearly hear what Jade just said to him, “...What?”

“Your date-mate. In the lounge. Descended like a dark omen. Come see?” Jade clearly was enjoying himself, the wild look in his eye showing just how hard he was fighting back the laughter he wanted to release.

“...” He put his glasses back on, standing up and wordlessly following Jade out the door to the lounge. A part of him was thankful they had the sense to wear all black. All black was tasteful and he could maybe add a charge to the current patrons' bill for a floor show. Or, what he could claim was a floor show.

He supposes they were dancing, Yuu and their friends. It was an odd shifting movement that they seemed to time in perfect opposite sync. It was oddly hypnotic, but also clearly starting to distress the crowd. He steps closer, standing next to Yuu and whispering, "Darling? My sweet pearl, salt to my sea? What is this? Literally, what are you doing right now?"

Azul watches in mild annoyance, and a smidge of adoration, as a small smile crosses Yuu's face as they clearly gained amusement from whatever this event was. But they still don't stop dancing or speak to him, “Yuu…What are you doing- HEY!”

The biggest cloaked figure, that Azul could only guess was Jack, suddenly picked him up, moving him farther away from the group before returning to his place in their dance.

He was poised to start dealing out fines, heavy ones, when Floyd exited the kitchen. The tall mer had a note clutched in his hand that he passed to Yuu. The prefect held the paper high, signaling the others to stop their odd ritual and rush out of the lounge. Yuu takes a brief moment to run to him, kissing him on the cheek before running after their friends and out of sight.

"..." Azul turns to Floyd, calling out as he walks back to the kitchen, "Floyd what was that?"

"Oh. Shrimpy’s doing me a favor." With a shrug, he walked past the swinging doors, giving no further explanation. 

…

Azul turned to Jade, the other Eel-Mer clearly struggling to hold in his laughter, "I'm serious, what was that?"

~*~*~*~*~*~

Something was wrong. Not at the moment but something was coming, Jamil could feel it. In the kitchen, he stood and judged Kalim’s knife cuts. The Asim heir wearing cut-safe gloves and muttering under his breath to remind himself of the proper grip and position for the knife. All in all, a very normal and calm cooking lesson…Something was wrong.

He sighed heavily, rubbing his temple, trying to think what could be bothering him. Kalim was standing in front of him, his homework was completed, and dinner was well underway (If Kalim would hurry up with cutting the peppers). What could it be…?

The door clicks open, calling both of their attention to it. Yuu stood in an all-black floor-length cloak, only one arm shown holding Grim up. Funnily enough with the cat monster in a matching outfit. Yuu stood silently, simply looking at the two of them.

Kalim and Jamil look at each other from the corner of their eyes before moving them back to Yuu. Kalim smiles, placing his knife down and walking closer to Yuu, “Hey, Yuu! You wanna stay for dinner? I’m helping.”

Jamil rolls his eyes briefly, crossing his arms, “That’s a word for it…”

Yuu didn’t speak, only holding Grim higher, letting the cat monster be in clear view as he clapped his paws together twice.

The kitchen was flooded by other cloaked figures, the three of them quickly descending on Kalim while the house-warden screamed in confusion. Jamil just barely grabbed at his pen before the other figures fled the room, leaving a frazzled Kalim lying on the floor.

Yuu rushes over to Jamil, pressing a kiss to his cheek before they run off, leaving the two Scarabia students in the silence.

…

Jamil looked at Kalim, after making sure the dark posse wasn’t coming back, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah…?” He pats himself down, standing up slowly as he checked himself over, “Yeah I-...” Kalim’s hands pat at his pocket, pulling the hidden seam of his poofy pants to look inside directly, “Oh. They stole my wallet.”

Well, at least Jamil knew what that horrible feeling was…

~*~*~*~*~*~

Vil stood at the main window of the Pomefiore lounge, wine glass in hand as he swirled his sparkling water. It took so much of his self-control to not scowl. He looks at the pack of idiots in the courtyard flailing around and scaring his dormmates. Rook had warned him that Yuu was doing 'something', the Florian saying as such with a smile before pointing toward the window.

He was busy, he really didn’t have the time to be dealing with…whatever this was. As of now, he was trying to make the decision on whether he should sic Rook on them or not. While he would probably take all day with it out of the pure joy of getting to hunt down the first years, Vil needed him for their site planning. Sighing, he turns to Rook, the Florian smiling and filming the odd performance, to order him to remove them from Pomefiore. Only for them both to look in surprise as a new dark figure flew down from the roof.

Only briefly seeing, potentially unbrushed lilac locks, did Vil realize that Epel had flown from his bedroom window to join the others in their dancing in the form of flying over them. The Pomefiore first year sprinkling what looked like glitter onto them in rather aggressive throws. The two third years watch as Epel dismounts his broom, the others circling and waving their arms over him before grouping together and rushing off.

Vil and Rook stood at the window, looking at the group of black fabric scurrying away and out of the dorm building's fenced area like a flock of confused deer. Blinking his eyes, Vil finally scowls and sips at his water, walking away from the window, “I should have just had you shoot them...”

Rook smiles, clapping his hands and opening the window to shout at the fading figures, “Beaute! 100 points!”

~*~*~*~*~*~

If he ignored the knocking they’ll go away. Idia knew he could only turn his game up so loud to drown them out without his own ears starting to hurt. But, whatever Yuu wanted he wasn’t gonna give. But he couldn’t deny that the knocking was starting to finally annoy him. He growled under his breath, the knocking throwing him off on his rhythm game enough to break his combo.

Idia throws down his controller, hair just barely flickering into red as he yells to the door, “Fine! It’s unlocked! Just come in like a- what the fuck?” Idia curled into his chair, trying to make himself smaller as way more people than just Yuu crowd into his room. Why were they all in black? What kind of curse game event did he trigger? Oh god was that glitter? He saw this movie with Cater, he knows how this is gonna end.

His hope rises at hearing Ortho’s update capsule hiss open. Now looking at them all together, Idia now realizes why Ortho asked him to make a simple cloak shell for him. Oh god, Yuu’s weird cult got to his poor little brother…

Ortho flies up to Idia, his hat in hand as his eyes creased in a smile, “Nii-san! I’m breaking my agreement with Yuu to tell you I’ll be gone for a few hours! Please make sure you eat and I’ll keep my text channel open for you to check up on me!”

“...” Idia’s eyes glance at the lightly swaying group of the other first years, each of them adding in their own various movements like some type of hivemind boss. Looking back to Ortho he nods, “Okay…Be safe…Have fun…”

“I will, have fun in your game Nii-san!” Ortho puts the hat on his head, his sclera blacking out and his arms come out to form a perfect T-pose.

Idia watches in muted horror as the others copy Ortho, leaving the room in a single file with Ortho floating behind them. He didn’t care to figure out who double-backed to shut his door, even though he was thankful.

“...” Turning back to his computer he opened his chat window and sent out a message to Cater.

‘can you cm ovr? was jst swatted by a cult.’

‘LOLZ. They got ya huh babes?’

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Should we do something?” “But they look like they’re having such fun!”

“What’s happening- WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO WAKA-SAMA!?”

Sebek looked out the window, eyes wide as he watched his ‘friends’ circle around Malleus in black cloaks.

Lilia giggles, looking out in amusement, “It seems Malleus has been kidnapped by a dark coven. Silver just came back with a letter detailing their demands.” He gestured to Silver, signaling for him to hand Sebek the hastily written note.

Sebek snatches it from Silver’s outstretched hand, reading it over before his frown somehow deepens, “So we have to fight them!? That’s what we’re going to do right!? We can’t let them just keep Waka-Sama!”

Silver shakes his head, “I highly doubt Malleus is in any actual danger, Sebek. I think he’s just happy to be included in their game…” Looking outside, Silver couldn’t help but smile at how calm Malleus appeared to be in the middle of the circle.

“But their demands!”

“They only stated they would ‘take’ Malleus if the proper person doesn’t fulfill their promise.” Lilia joins Silver in looking out the window, “I must be honest, though. I may just let this game continue to see what happens. Plus, Malleus would love to spend the day with your friends.”

Sebek pouted, taking a glance out the window before sighing and leaving the room. Silver and Lilia sharing a look before shrugging. Only minutes later to laugh at seeing Sebek stomp out of Diasomnia with a matching black cloak and oversized witch hat. Lilia down right cackling seeing Epel throw a handful of glitter directly at Sebek's chest.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Sam braced himself on his knees, having stopped his laughter but still needing to catch his breath. Standing back up, he wipes a tear from his eye. Catching breath, he looked at the students in front of him, "...I'm guessing y'all are all set?"

The glitter-covered black hats all nodded, though Sebek merely grumbled and tried to brush the offending dust from his hands.

Shaking his head, Sam prepped the mirror for their trip, "The second we get into town, you kids scatter. I don't wanna be a part of whatever cult thing you got goin' on."

[olderthannetfic]

First as a disclaimer: I'm pretty sure I'm not an anti (I'm anti death threats and am fine with incest, age-gap, abusive ships etc)

However I'm probably still a social/political enemy for various reasons but you sometime post asks from people you disagree with I think and I think you might know this answer.

Anyway onto my question I'm the kind of shipper who likes canon compliant ships and looking for hints and stuff but these days it feels like everyone boasts about how much their ships deviate and poop on canon etc. Do other shippers with my mentality still exist and I just don't notice them (Outside of anti spaces) or are we actually a dying breed?

--

Eh. I think "political enemy" has a pretty fluid definition if one is really into playing politics. If you aren't out campaigning on a white supremacy platform, we probably have some goals in common.

I usually block people for being extremely annoying on a day I'm feeling hormonal or for attacking people particularly viciously in my comments, not for nominally being in some other camp.

--

I think the more canon-adjacent fandom flavors are actually really common.

They're a little lost in the tumult of "My headcanon is actually canon!!!" stuff on tumblr that we like to laugh at on my own blog.

They're also less common in oldschool m/m-shipping spaces because those are often inherently non-canon ships. In the past, it was because homophobic censorship wouldn't let anything be made. These days, it's because the flavor of m/m a lot of people like is more easily found by adding romance to a buddy canon than by trying to add buddy-ness to a romance canon in many cases, and this can be true even if canon is original m/m aimed at fandom types.

Here's the thing: oldschool m/m shippers tend to be particularly prone to building community spaces and recording our history precisely because it's so easily erased and so often attacked. This type of shipper also tends to have more of a cohesive identity. That makes it far easier to name ourselves and set up little fiefdoms on modern social media.

I'm one of these people. Shittons of the people doing amateur fandom history work are. Much of the OTW old guard are. And lots of us know each other at least a bit, so if you're running into one of us, you're probably running into more of us.

--

However, that doesn't actually mean this type of shipping is the most common or that there have never been spaces devoted to something else.

That old Beauty and the Beast tv series with Linda Hamilton had epic canon shippers. So did Moonlight (the vampire tv series). So did and does Twilight.

A lot of these shippers had this as their first and possibly their only fandom and carried on being obsessed long after canon was over.

Lizzie/Darcy shippers put anything I have ever been a fan of to shame. No matter what the AO3 numbers show, this ship far, far exceeds the popularity of Destiel or any of the other m/m heavyweights.

--

I think the problem you're running into is that in the modern era of binging things on Netflix and regular joes being huge media geeks, analyzing canon in a nerdy way and obsessing over your canon ships is just how a big chunk of the population engages with media.

Fan theories that are closely tied to what was actually on the screen/page are the bread and butter of water cooler conversations and have been since The Sopranos and its ilk.

Yes, I know some fuck will immediately show up and go "Ahem, ahem, I am a GEEK and SPECIAL and the people around me never have intellectual conversations about media literally ever!!!!" just like every single time we have this conversation. But times have moved on, and being overinvested in canon theorizing just is a normie activity now, and that's great! Except when you want a special term and space to find your people.

The only time canon shippers really stand out from that is if they're extremely fic-focused, and then they often start straying farther from canon, especially if they stick around the same fandom for a long time. Either they start becoming more fans of some fic writer or they start wanting to diversify what they themselves are writing.

The really good close-to-canon fandom activities are at their best when lots of fans find the same currently-running canon at the same time and before canon itself passes its prime.

Even I started out on alt.tv.x-files, analyzing the shit out of season 2 and not caring much about non-canon things. (Though, admittedly, I was more NoRomo than MSR.)

--

That said, antis are not actually that canon-focused in most cases. They will do the "My headcanon is reality" thing as much as anyone. They just tend to spend a lot of time hating on explicit m/m and a lot of explicit m/m is of non-canon ships.

Honestly... anon... you might want to figure out what the latest CSI-ish franchise is and find the obviously-future-canon het ship from that. Those tend to get the 10 seasons of build up and fan theories that don't stray too far from canon.

This stuff is not only not a dying breed, but it's so common that one of the editors of NCIS delivered a deeply cringeworthy lecture at my film school about what "shippers" are and how the Tiva shippers affected the production.

People into those ships don't need tumblr: Major entertainment magazines are publishing their fan theories for them.

[cupoftaae]

Life In Color - KTH drabble- The one with the pink dress ⋆｡°✩

summary- going wedding dress shopping with your future husband isn't typical, but you do it anyways.

pair- kth x female!reader

rating- 18+

A/N - hi guys! I hope you love these new drabbles, Tae and y/n are my favorite couple ive written and can't wait to deepen their story line. enjoy :) -Nini

"and who is this you've brought with you?"

"my fiancé"

The woman sitting front desk blankly looked at your large grin as you stood in a large puffer jacket, Taehyung behind you with the same smile plastered on his face.

"oh!" she finally spoke, "it's just most couples choose to wait for the dress reveal until the wedding"

You nod, you knew this was gonna be questioned.

You tried your best to explain that you wanted your husband to be the first to see it, instead of the last. You and him agreed that it would be better to surprise family. Was it conventional? no, but nothing you two did ever was.

Another woman came out from the back and led us into a try on room, mirrors surrounding the small couch that taehyung plopped down on, his own face slightly pink in anticipation to see you in a real wedding dress.

everything was becoming increasingly more real as the clock began to tic down to the wedding date.

"let me take your coat, baby" he whispered, pulling it off your shoulders as you stood.

"ok, im gonna go with her and pick out a few and i'll come back in once im ready" you giggled and kissed his nose, happily following the woman out to the room. The large isles of puffy dresses was slightly overwhelming to look at.

You were supposed to pick just one?

"so we will gather as many as you please, then eliminate them as we go until we find the dress that you feel most beautiful in"

You grinned and nodded, "sounds good"

Your eyes scanned, looking deeply at each unique design. you almost felt like an imposter standing here, this was a little too fancy.....and expensive.

Growing up on the poorer side meant now that you were 23, and had your own well earned money, you still had issues with spending it. Every item was a questionable "is it really that needed?" purchase. The fear of someday running out, all because you spent it on unnecessary items haunts you, even though that is far from realistic.

"so....tell me about your fiancé" the older woman spoke, her arms crossed as she followed you around the room, collecting anything that sparked your interest even in the slightest.

"well...." you blush, "we've known each other since we were little kids, and to be honest I think we were just meant for each other" you mentally cringe at the corny line that left your mouth. It was true though.

She grinned "how adorable, you both are rather young, I dont see a lot of kids in their early 20's getting married as much as before"

"yeahh..." you began, handing her a soft white gown to add to her small pile in her arms. "I guess we have spent so much time together that instead of waiting, we just knew what we wanted"

"that is very true, he seems as lovely as you and I'm positive it will work out. Whens the wedding?"

"February"

"3 months, that exciting. Most women have their dress a year before" she laughed softly

"yeah well we didn't have much time to plan, we are not super fancy and its just gonna be a small wedding with our parents and siblings, nothing super big"

"small weddings are always sweet too, of course you wont get as much money with that little guests" she teased, making you secretly scrunch your face up.

"eh...not too concerned"

You did not care if you weren't going to get many expensive gifts or cash at your wedding, it didn't matter.

thats not really the point of the ceremony.

After a bit, you gathered only 3 dresses and began trying them on.

The first dress was a white puffy one, the skirt similar to a princess gown like you've seen in movies.

"tae?" you whispered, opening the door and walking in to see him on the couch.

His eyes widened as he took you in, a faint blush powdering his cheeks. "i.....woah"

The woman laughed as she had you stand on the platform in front of the mirrors.

"do you like it?"

He lagged for a moment, in shock before nodding, "ye-yeah, yeah I do, baby you look gorgeous" he smiled widely, unable to take his eyes off.

"this one is part of the new collection in stock, no one has bought it yet, its one of a kind and original" the woman began speaking as she flattened the skirt.

"oh wow, thats cool" you mumbled, eyes stuck on yourself in the mirror. It was kinda freaky to imagine yourself in a wedding dress since you were little, and now seeing it in real life.

Taehyung watched in awe of your beauty, but he couldnt help but notice your uncomfortable body language. He chose to stay silent as the worker began speaking once more.

"you look absolutely stunning in it, the price is about $9,000 right now, but of course that would probably be more in the higher 9k or even closer to 10k considering this is a bit big on you and would need alterations"

You felt your face drain, 10k for a white dress made of fabric you could buy at the craft store? Sure, it was an incredibly beautiful gown, but you were not about to pay that much for a one time wear.

"God, ...okay" taehyung lifted his winter cap from his head to itch his scalp in thought, putting it back down as he watched your expression.

"yeah uh...not gonna get this one" you whispered, looking at the worker

"thats okay, lets go try the other ones you picked"

Taehyung sat back down, part of him loving the way you were putting on a little fashion show for him, the other, concerned that you were bothered by something.

You stepped out in another dress, however this white one was more fitted, there was no train behind it, instead it hugged your curves.

Your fiancé smirked, watching as you stepped up to the platform.

"now, how do you feel? this one is from the summer collection, but you did say you were having an indoor wedding in February so you'll still be warm"

You thought for a moment, turning to see your body in the mirror, taehyung stood behind you, "you look so beautiful baby" he smiled

You shrugged, offering an iffy smile "I dont know"

before you knew it, your eyes were tearing up for NO reason.

The worker noticed how concerned taehyung had gotten and she spoke up, "i'll be right back"

When the door shut, he gently took your hands and made you face him, he whispered "whats wrong, hm? why are you so sad, my love?"

"I dont know" you whispered, his fingers wiping your eyes. "I just dont feel as pretty as I thought I did in these, I feel like a fake to be honest"

"why is that?" he sounded angry, not at you, but at the thought you didnt see your own beauty.

"everything is just so expensive and I dont feel like it belongs on me" you sniff, his face softens.

"hey" he whispered, "my parents agreed to help the cost of your wedding dress, stop worrying"

"I know but its not fair to you guys, and besides, I just feel weird. I wish I could just wear whatever"

He smiles gently and brushes your hair. "what is it that you want?"

"see, I dont even know. I remember when I was a little girl I always wanted to wear a puffy baby pink gown" you laugh, "everything seemed so easy then huh"

He thought for a moment, "a pink dress hm? lets see if they have that here"

"are you serious? baby, I was just joking"

"so? try one on anyways my love"

"i dont know....I was like 10 when I said that and-"

"sh" he gently cupped your face, "these dresses arent doing it for you, and we wont stop until we find what makes you feel beautiful, ok? theres no harm in trying."

When the woman came back in, he softly explained the situation, and watched as she left to go find some options that fit the idea you wanted.

After a few moments, she returned with a dress she think you'd like/

"try this one, hun, I think its the closest to what you were telling me, its also the lightest shade of pink"

You glance at tae before nodding and going to change.

It fit on easily, only slightly big in the chest, but its nothing a quick sew job from your work friend couldnt fix.

You step out, watching Taehyungs expression widen at you "oh baby.....you are so beautiful, I love you"

You giggled as he kissed you, turning your body to look in the mirror. You teared up again, but this time not because you were sad.

The baby pink dress had laced long sleeves and a large flowing skirt, the waist sewn tight. It was just the right amount of sparkles added, and for some reason you knew that this is what 10 year old you would have wanted.

"i...I love it" you whispered

Taes eyes watered a bit, seeing the genuine reaction from you.

"how much is it?" you turned to the woman, she began to speak but taehyung stopped her,

"nope, doesnt matter"

"baby-"

"no, no, you love this dress"

You frowned and nodded

"im gonna take care of it, okay?" he kissed you gently, sharing a glance into your eyes through the mirror in front of you both.

"are you sure?"

"positive"

You waited a moment, holding his hand "I really do love it" you whispered

"so....is this the dress?" the worker smiled softly, watching you nod slowly as you wiped a tear "yeah...yeah this is the dress"

taglist-

@ohsweetmimosa

[joka13]

FANFICTION: Weasley Twins x Reader (Slytherin Girl) - Part 6

WARNINGS: mentions of violence

You follow Fred and George over to the table on the far right of the room where Hermione Granger, the famous Harry Potter, and their younger brother, Ron Weasley, are already sitting.

"Everyone, this is our new friend, y/n," George happily introduces you.

You suddenly feel very self conscious. "Hello," you say, waving shyly as you sit down.

Hermione waves back. Harry smiles briefly then goes back to the newspaper in his hands.

"So we're making friends with Slytherins now, eh?" says Ron. Hermione elbows him in hard in the stomach. "Ow!"

"Don't be rude!" Hermione scolds. She turns to you and smiles apologetically. "It's very nice to finally meet you."

"Finally?" you say as you dish yourself some mashed potatoes.

Hermione nods. "Yes, I've heard all about you. You're—"

"The Hermione of Slytherins," Fred interrupts.

You laugh. "I'm honored to receive such a title!" Hermione blushes at the compliment.

"Honestly, the two of you should be in Ravenclaw," says George through a mouthful of chicken.

"Do you like quidditch, y/n?" Ron asks. At this, Harry looks up from the paper.

"I don't play, but I fancy watching a good game as much as the next person," you respond.

"That's how I feel about it, too," Hermione says.

"You should come watch us play some time," George says. The other three boys nod in agreement.

"You could sit in the stands with me!" Hermione sings, grasping your arm excitedly with both hands.

"I would like that very much! Just don't be offended when I cheer for team Slytherin," you chortle.

"We'll convince you soon enough to cheer for us," Fred says. "And once you do, you'll never be disappointed again!"

"Amen to that!" George exclaims, and the twins share a high-five.

You chuckle. "I look forward to it."

"When is our first game anyway?" Ron asks, stuffing an entire roll into his mouth.

"For heaven's sake, Ron, you're going to choke on your food one of these days!" Hermione warns.

"And die," adds Fred. You and George snort.

Ron rolls his eyes. "If I do, I at least hope it's before our O.W.L.S. exams."

"You'd be more willing to take them if you were better prepared—" Hermione starts.

"Aw, here we go again..."

Fred leans over to George and mutters something inaudible, apparently deciding now's a good time to leave. They stand up and go to stand on either side of you, George on your left and Fred on your right.

"We've got to go," George says, stooping down to link his arm with yours.

"Hm?" You're in the middle of chewing a bite of pulled pork, so you can't protest.

"Say goodnight, y/n," Fred encourages. He grabs your other arm. You look back and forth between the twins confusedly before they hoist you up off the bench. Hermione, acting like the twins' behavior is nothing out of the norm, waves goodbye as Fred and George drag you out of the Great Hall.

You swallow your food quickly. "Hey! Stop manhandling me! I've had enough of that today already," you mope.

"Already?" the twins ask. They stop walking and let go of you obediently, stepping aside to give you space. They watch with mild concern and curiosity as you brush yourself off.

"Yes..." You don't want to tell them about your embarrassing run in with Malfoy, but they're waiting for an answer and you want to go finish your dinner. "Malfoy... um..."

Fred and George raise their eyebrows at the mention of Malfoy's name.

"What did he do?" Fred asks. You're surprised by the urgency in his voice.

"Nothing terrible... he just... kissed me without my permission to do so..." You blush and stare at the ground. Why are you telling, of all people, the Weasley twins about this? "And he really snogged me if you know what I mean," you chuckle uncomfortably. "I almost went to Dumbledore about it..."

"By golly, for Malfoy's sake you should have gone to Dumbledore," George laughs bluntly after a small moment of silence, though he seems far from amused.

"Don't you worry about it any longer, y/n. We'll give him a real punishment. One that the headmaster isn't allowed to give," Fred says, nodding determinedly.

"No! No, no, please don't," you beg. "I don't want the drama to go on."

"But it will if no one puts a stop to it," says George.

"That's the thing! I think I've done that. What I mean is, Malfoy and I are even." The twins raise their eyebrows once more, insisting that you elaborate. "Look closely at the back of his head the next time you see him. He should have a bald patch," you say casually.

Fred's laughter echoes throughout the halls. George just stares at you in shock, an amazed grin slowly spreading across his face.

"Merlin's beard, y/n!" exclaims George.

"Yup! Practically scalped him with my bare hands!" you gladly exaggerate, making a ripping gesture with your hands. This makes Fred laugh even harder. George has to help him off the ground by the time he finally calms. The three of you sit down on a nearby bench because Fred's laughing has left him weak in the knees.

"Thanks, guys. It feels really good to have told somebody about that," you say. "I would have normally ranted to my friend, Maddy, but she's seemed to have sort of fallen off the face of the earth."

"Glad to be of service," Fred snickers. There's a content moment of silence as you all gaze out the window on the wall across from you. The remnants of the sunset are beautiful, causing the evening sky to fade from pink, to purple, and then dark blue.

"Where were you two intending to take me?" you ask after a while. "When you stole me away from my supper."

The twins chuckle.

"We need your help again," George says. "Hermione doesn't dare associate herself with our shenanigans."

"And you're her, but better," Fred finishes with a grin.

"Oh..." So they only wanted you for your brains...

"But it's getting late, and it sounds like you might need a good night's rest," says George. "Project Nosebleed can wait."

Project Nosebleed? "Alright then..."

Fred and George get to their feet. "We bid you adieu," Fred says and both brothers bow low to the ground dramatically.

You giggle. "Goodnight. Have sweet dreams," you say, standing. You turn and start for your common room.

"Oh, we will," George says quietly, though you don't think you were meant to hear it.

When you reach the Slytherin common room, Maddy is still no where to be seen. She's not even in your dormitory. You leisurely get ready for bed, wondering if you should be worried about her, but you don't get to think much more about it because you pass out the moment your head hits the pillow.

[currytantou]

[translation] Mayonaka Danshi Meshi audio drama / s1ep1 CVs: Uchiyama Kouki & Itou Kento

do not repost or use my translations! link back if you want to share. partial screenshot it allowed but blatant copy/paste is prohibited

Also x-posted on my wordpress page

Watch/listen here

0:12 (sound of typing on keyboard) Email to the other side…done. Documents for tomorrow…done. (watch beeps) Oh! Just in time. Alright, then! (clicks mouse then gets up) Hashida is signing off! Good work everyone.

0:50 What’s for dinner tonight? (phone vibrates) Yes, it’s Hashida. Thank you for your patronage. Yes.. (footsteps receding) Oh, the quotation estimate? Yes. I can confirm that on my side. Is it urgent? I can get to it. I’ll send it to you soon so please wait a moment.

(phone beeps) Change of direction, huh? Well, that can’t be helped.

1:35 Shoot. That took longer than expected. Can I make it in time before the store closes? My fridge is pretty much empty. At this rate, I might have to settle with eating box lunch from the convenience store. Please, make it in time! No, I’ll make sure to make it!

Ahh, I can’t make it! What to have for dinner? Should I just compromise today? Nah, I’m in the mood for Japanese food thanks to what I had for lunch. I’m not giving up now. I’ve no other choice. I’ll have to detour and go to the supermarket on the other side of the river.

2:29 No way…. How is this possible? I went to three different supermarkets and the fact that each of them ran out of vegetables… I was stubborn and ended up wasting my time. Should’ve used my time for something more worthwhile if I knew this would happen. (sighs) No point regretting over the past. Sometimes, incidents like this happen. Convenience- nah, I’ll settle with instant noodles today.

3:12 Finally home. It’s quite late already. Hmm, postage and letters.. hm? A delivery, eh? I got stuff delivered to me… That’s quite a big box. Oh? It’s from grandma! Huh? Did I ask her something?

I’m back~ (walks with the box and then opens the door) Heigh-ho..! That was quite heavy. What did grandma send me? (tears the tape) These are..! Lotus root, burdock and carrot! And plenty more! Oh, great! This box is full with veggies from back home! Feels as if grandma saw through me today! Talk about timing. Hm? Hold on. (checks fridge) Chicken and konjac jelly. Alright! I got ‘em. I can do this! I can make grandma’s chikuzenni with these ingredients. I don’t have to give up on eating Japanese dish! Thanks, grandma.

Still, I haven’t had chikuzenni in a while since I left home. I hope I can pull this off. Anyway, I just gotta try.

5:20 (pot boiling) First, pre boil the konjac jelly. I should prepare the rest of the ingredients in the meantime. Right. I should first peel the skin off. Get the carrot and lotus root done smoothly with this peeler. (peels veggies) Taro’s skin is thick so I gotta use a knife instead. (sound of cutting against wooden cutting board. Next, burdock. Just washing ‘em with water is enough, I guess? (washes burdock) That’d do. Now, I gotta cut these guys up. (cuts)

Grandma did mention that cutting uniformly matters in stews. When they’re different, the ingredients don’t soak up the same amount of flavour. Good thing I remember that. (continues cutting) What’s left are taro and soaked shiitake. Bite size cut would do.

7:13 Alright. Time to cut these pre-boiled konjac jelly. Evenly cut the konjac…nah, maybe I should try shred it roughly with a spoon. The sections are rougher than when cut using a knife and apparently this way, they would soak the flavour even better…but oh well, I can’t wait to try it out.

(water runs) Also, grandma’s chikuzenni isn’t complete without this…ginger. Ginger really makes so much difference. I’m gonna shred this guy thinly. (sound of cutting against board) Whew. Pretty much done with the prep for now. Next is the chicken. (brings out pot)

Sesame oil goes inside the pot and heats it up. (switches on gas) Add chicken and stir fry until the colour changes. (pot sizzles)

8:47 I guess this would do..? Then, I just gotta add the veggies that I cut earlier into the pot. (sizzles) Stir them until everything is covered in oil. Hm! This fragrant sesame oil aroma! How appetizing. Hm. Looking good. Almost ready. Add the water from soaked shiitake, sake, mirin, soy sauce, sugar and finally, ba-bam! Thinly sliced ginger! Ugh! What am I doing? Alright. What’s left is to let it simmer well. Hm? I feel like I forgot something…? Oh, a lid! Gotta cover it with a lid. Without it, the flavour would be uneven.

(covers pot with a lid) That’d do. Hold on. I forgot the bean to garnish with at the end. I should boil some in the meantime. (sound of water running, metal pot and gas being turned on)

Hmm. About twenty minutes until it’s ready, eh? Right.. I made quite a huge serving. Maybe I should let Akira eat some. Bet he’s eating junk either way.

10:30 (pot boiling) Alright. About time it’s done. I wonder how it’d turn out? Whoa. Looks good. Salty-sweet aroma. This is the best! (turns off the stove)

(door opens then closes) Sudou: Yo~ Hashida: Oh, you’re here? Sudou: Hashi, this is not like back home. You better lock the door. Hashida: Oh, sorry. I forget sometimes. Well, not like I have anything worth stealing. Sudou: One thought he’s guarded but it’s the other way. Hashi, that side of you really never changes. Hashida: Really? I don’t think I am that unguarded. Sudou: Oh, whatever. That aside. That smells really good. Stew? Hashida: Correct. I made chikuzenni today. Using the recipe from my granny. Sudou: Wow, seriously? How delightful. Makes me feel excited. Hashida: You don’t look excited though. Well, that’s not important. I’m gonna garnish this so Akira, can you dish out the rice? Sudou: Okay~

(opens fridge) Hashida: I got some beer. You’re drinking? Sudou: Yeah. Bring ‘em out. Hashida: Hmph. Silly.

11:59 (arranges plates) Hashida: Alright. Now that everything’s ready. It’s time. Hashida & Sudou: Bon appetit.

(both started eating)

Hashida: Oh. The flavour soaked in nicely. Sudou: Hm. This is good. Hashida: I was right to tear the konjac with a spoon. They soak the flavour well and curl into a nice shape. Sudou: Hmm, that method is possible, eh? Actually, this really tastes like the one I had at Hashi’s grandma’s. That kinda makes me emotional. Hashida: Emotional? You’re exaggerating. Sudou: Nah, I mean it. Remember how Hashi’s family often feeds my younger brothers and I, since our pop’s always busy with work? So to me chikuzenni at Hashi’s place is what I consider a mom’s home cooking. Hashida: Oh, right. The only family I have is my grandma, after all. I suppose this meal is a mom’s home cooking. I’ve never thought of it that way. Sudou: You better appreciate her more. Hashida: I do! I mean, I don’t feel lacking despite the absence of parents. I’ve never felt lonely just because grandma’s the only family that I have. Hey, now! Don’t make me say something embarrassing! Sudou: Ah, I see. Hmm. I somehow get it. Hashida: Well, in other words, we should be thankful for the love from people around us. Sudou: Whoa. The way you worded it just screams old person. Hashida: Huh? Really? That was unintentional. But right, recently I do feel like I am an old man. Sudou: Hehe. Just kidding. If anything, you no longer seem immature. It’s crazy if you still act the same when you’re a brat. Hashida: I hope you’re right.

13:53 Sudou: Actually, having chikuzenni while talking about the past with you makes me feel like I just time slipped to when we’re kids. Hashida: Hehe! You’re right. We really played hard back then. It’s impressive how we didn’t get sick of it, even though we lived in the countryside. Sudou: Yeah. Oh, I’m recalling things. You’re quite popular among the girls since you’re casually nice to them. Hashida: Really? I think that’s normal. Sudou: How is that normal? Plenty of girls asked me to pass love letters to you. It was so annoying. Hashida: Ahh, that happened, eh? Heck, don’t be annoyed over something petty! Sudou: Nah, it was so annoying. You said you wanted to focus on the club and stuff. Turning them down half-assed. You’re making it awkward even for me too! How annoying. Hashida: You..! In that case, I’ve got something to say too! Did you forget how I had to let you sit on the back seat of my bicycle simply ‘cus you can’t ride it yourself? You can’t do that until 8th grade! There should be a limit to how unathletic one could be! Sudou: Not 8th. 7th grade! Hashida: Nah, you were in 8th grade! It’d be a problem if you still cannot cycle ‘cus we’re gonna commute to a further place in high school so I accompanied you to practice. Remember? Sudou: That was the 7th grade. Definitely not the 8th. Hashida: It’s not important! Sudou: It is. This involves my good name. Hashida: Heh. As always, you’re so oddly stubborn. Whatever. Uh, ah! Hey, Akira! You’re spilling so much! Gosh. Use this to wipe. You never grow out of it. Sudou: Oh, sorry. Hashida: I guess you can’t help when you stop focusing. But why can’t you control your mouth? You’re old enough, it’s about time you fix that habit. Sudou: Uh, you’re right. Hashida: Oh, almost out of beer. Should I bring more? Sudou: Hashi, I think you’re more like a ma than a pops…

Thanks for reading!!!!! I had this in draft since march lol :’) I translated this just because?? As a practice? Out of whim? lol anyways. This franchise is seriously underrated so pleaseee check it out. I doubt anyone translates this anyway so I did it. I hope this post let seiyuu fans who weren’t aware discover something new. So far, I’ve no plan to continue translating… (there’s four seasons. It’s hella long and I don’t think I can do this voluntarily) but commission is always welcomed!! ❤

[ivory-lamps]

A07: The Black Cat of Good Luck

Characters: Daniel, Nagi, Toi & Netaro Location: Hama Summary: The protagonist fishes Nagi at the steamed bun cafe and asks him what he’s doing there. Nagi explains that it all started with a certain piece of food.

ㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ📍 Location: Cafe369

Momiji / Kaede: Yes, please lower him down just like that. Alright, alright.

Daniel: So the trap was laid to catch a new steamed bun ingredient and you got caught up in one? Man, what luck…

Momiji / Kaede: Thank goodness you’re here to help with the heavy lifting, Daniel-san. Oh, stop.

Hello? Nagi-kun, are you okay? Can you hear me? Are you conscious?

Nagi: ……

Toi: Are you okay? You’re alive, right? What should we do if he’s on the verge of death…?

Momiji / Kaede: Calm down. He’s breathing. It looks like he’s just fainted.

Toi: R–Really…? Thank goodness…!

Momiji / Kaede: Let’s move him to the sofa first… There.

Toi: I’ll go wet my handkerchief, then!

Employee?: My, my. There’s no need to be so panicked.

Momiji / Kaede: Well, we captured a human and not a bee! This isn’t what you said!

Employee?: It was a bee in the beginning, though. Well, humans can be ingredients, too.

Daniel: Hm~?

Oh, you’re the dude that came to the dorm before.

Employee?: Mm~? Do I remember someone with your good looks?

Daniel: Wait, did you just compliment me?

Momiji / Kaede: He said he only had green peas on his mind back then, so he mustn’t have gotten a good look at you, Chief.

Daniel: The name’s Hiroshi Daniel Iwabuchi. I wouldn’t mind recommending you as someone who’s got an eye for the beautiful to our lil’ president, ya know?

Momiji / Kaede: Oh, sorry for the late self-introduction. We’re from HAMA Tours.

Netaro: I’m Netaro Yowa. I’m happy to gain more human acquaintances ♪

I’ve taken a liking to my current face but yours is quite nice, too.

Momiji / Kaede: (...Face?)

Toi: Oh, I think Nagi-san’s about to wake!

Nagi: …Ugh…

…Where am I? Who am I…?

Momiji / Kaede: (He’s got amnesia…!)

Nagi: Sorry, I was kidding… You guys are…?

Netaro: I run this steamed bun store. I captured you as a new ingredient to add to those fillings.

Nagi: …I see.

Momiji / Kaede: Yeah, I don’t blame you for being surprised. I’ll explain everything from the top…

Nagi: Anyway, are you okay?

Momiji / Kaede: Huh?

(...Is he talking about the trap?)

I’m fine. No one ended up getting caught in the… trap thing? Inside the store.

Actually, you were the only person that got fished.

Daniel: You got fished, eh?

Nagi: I see. That’s good to hear. I shouldn’t get other people caught up in my misfortune. Oh, and…

Momiji / Kaede: (......? Nagi-kun’s hand is lightly balled into a fist…)

*Bzzzzzz*

Daniel: Woah, a bee just flew out.

Nagi: I caught it since it looked like it wanted out. Yup, there it goes. Good, good.

Netaro: All’s well that ends well!

Daniel: How is this a good ending…? Anyway, we’ve met you several times before, right?

Momiji / Kaede: Oh, yes. Nagi-kun, long time no see. We haven’t seen each other since we were at Renga-kun’s garden, right?

Nagi: Yup, it’s been a while. HAMA NICE TRIP.

Momiji / Kaede: Glad to see you’re still the same Nagi-kun. …HAMA NICE TRIP, too!

Toi: Um, if you’d like, please feel free to use this wet handkerchief. Here.

Nagi: T–Thank yo– Woah, an angel? Are those wings I’m seeing?

Toi: Ehehe, I don’t have any wings~

Momiji / Kaede: Anyway, how did you get caught in the trap? Were you out delivering flowers to this store?

Netaro: I don’t remember ordering flowers.

Nagi: Oh, are you the boss of this establishment…? I’m sorry for causing so much trouble.

Netaro: Aha! You were caught in my trap but you chose to apologise! Maybe I should take advantage of this situation and ask you to compensate for the damage.

Laika: damage!

Nagi: Okay, I’ll spend the rest of my life paying you back.

Momiji / Kaede: Wait, you don’t have to pay him anything, okay? Anyway, why did you come here if it wasn’t for a delivery?

Nagi: …It all started with an ordinary ball of chocolate.

There was a kid at one of the places I was dropping off a delivery at and they gave it to me. Just when I was thinking of eating it on the bench, my hand slipped and it fell to the ground. That’s when a thought crossed my mind: It’s poisonous for dogs and cats and I couldn’t just throw it away like that. I stood up to grab it but guess what? The bench I was sitting on was freshly painted and I couldn’t get up. But rest assured. I went back to repaint it and I even apologised. I picked up the ball of chocolate. I had plans to visit the supermarket as well, so I figured I should wash the paint off my clothes and headed towards the washing area at the park, but then I realised there wasn’t any soap. So I thought rinsing it would be better than nothing but the water wouldn’t come out. I decided to give up on my clothes since the bargain sale was about to start, but then I was attacked by a huge murder of crows. It seems I didn’t realise how much troubled I had caused at the park, so I ran away in a panic and here I am.

Momiji / Kaede: (I didn’t get a word he said but it looks like he ran into a lot of trouble…!)

Toi: I can’t believe all those things happened to you, one after the other…

Netaro: Ahaha! What an intriguing fellow!

Laika: ee, ee, ee!

Daniel: He sounds like some clumsy heroine.

Momiji / Kaede: Cheer up…! Everyone has bad days.

Nagi: In my case, it happens all the time…

Momiji / Kaede: Hm?

Nagi: No, it’s nothing. Sorry.

Anyway, are your clothes fine? If you guys helped me down from the trap, then the paint on my clothes could have transferred over to you.

Momiji / Kaede: Oh, I’m not sure. Is there anything on me?

Daniel: Nope. What about me?

Netaro: Nothing. Anything on me?

Toi: There’s no end to this. Netaro-san, you didn’t even touch him…

Nagi: I see. That’s good to hear. Angel-san, I’ll wash the handkerchief at my store and then return it to you.

Toi: Oh, uh, okay!

Nagi: Alright, see ya, then.

*Dials a number on his phone.*

Sonia: “Hello! You’ve reached Flower Laundry!”

Nagi: Sorry for not contacting you earlier. I should be able to get home in about 50 minutes with 100% safe driving.

Sonia: “Geez~! Just where have you been! I was worried!”

Nagi: Oh, speaking of which… I’ll buy some burnable rubbish bags on my way back. Tomorrow’s burnable rubbish day and we’re all out, right? I’ll also buy us some snacks – it’ll be a nice little extra something.

Sonia: “If you’re bringing back snacks, then I’ll allow you to be a little late.”

Nagi: Great. Then, I’ll do my best to hurry back.

*Nagi walks out*

Momiji / Kaede: ……

Daniel: Hey.

Momiji / Kaede: Woah!

Daniel: You sure you just wanna let ‘em go?

Momiji / Kaede: Crap. He leaves just like the wind so I ended up naturally sending him off on his way… Nagi-kun, wait a second!

Don’t leave on your motorbike just yet!

Nagi: What’s wrong?

…Actually, you shouldn’t run in front of me. That’s dangerous.

Momiji / Kaede: Sorry! Um, I was looking everywhere for you, Nagi-kun – there’s something we need to talk about.

Nagi: Talk about?

Momiji / Kaede: Actually, I wanted to ask if you’d be interested in being a member of the Night Group.

Nagi: What do you mean?

Momiji / Kaede: The thought came to me when I saw you teaching Renga-kun how to care for his garden.

You’re detail-oriented and thorough in your work. I think it would be wonderful if we could work with each other and provide hospitality to guests together.

Nagi: ……

Momiji / Kaede: Anyway, would you like to be a part of the Night Group… Well, actually, I was planning on asking if you’d be willing to be the leader.

Nagi: ……

Huh?

Momiji / Kaede: Oh, uh, like I said, I’d like you to be the leader…

Nagi: What?

Momiji / Kaede: Could you be the leader…

Nagi: Who?

Momiji / Kaede: You, Nagi-kun.

Nagi: ……

So, you’re saying I’ll be living with other people, going on trips with them and working alongside them?

Momiji / Kaede: Yes.

Nagi: Me?

Momiji / Kaede: Yes.

Nagi: ……

……

Momiji / Kaede: (H–He’s blushing…?)

Nagi: ……!

Momiji / Kaede: (Now, he’s glancing around with a stern look on his face…)

(Well, he looks like he's interested at least. But what does this reaction mean…?)

So, what do you say? I’d be really happy if you’d accept.

Nagi: ……

Momiji / Kaede: O–Oh, you must be feeling anxious, right? I know the feeling!

So, um, it’s fine if you want to go through a trial period to see what it’s like first…!

Nagi: ……………

Momiji / Kaede: ……

Black cat: Meow.

Momiji / Kaede: Ah, a black cat.

Nagi: …Cute.

We’re at a standstill right now. In other words, it means that nothing counts at the moment since a black cat has crossed paths with us.

Momiji / Kaede: Ahaha, I’ve had that thought before, too. It’s bad luck to come across a black cat in this country, but it can also be seen as a sign of good luck in other countries.

Nagi: …I see. Then, the black cat must feel relieved.

Alright.

If you’re fine with me going through a trial period, then… I’ll try it out.

← Previous ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ Index ≡ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤNext →

[good-beanswrites]

🎬: About Es being a past prisoner and the secret 11th prisoner in your AU. But advance apologies if I'm overstepping into your AU!

I had this idea from a story that pretty much did the same thing. Going off there are novels/manga on Milgram and there being another Es and their own prisoners running another Milgram (but differently) I imagine this Milgram projects has been going on for a while, and our Es was from a previous project who might have gotten the worst verdict (or the most spared out of everyone), and was given this final task as a warden for the next group of prisoners. This is why they so readily agreed and had their memories wiped for this Milgram project instead of being weary on a shady project on judging an almost crime, they've already been through this.

(BTW is it bad and worrying for one of our ten fav prisoners to be the next Es if this is legit...)

Anyway, that's why Es is in Milgram in your AU, I guess? And the lore drop that Kotoko picks up on them being the 11th prisoner, I can imagine her also talking to Kazui since he's a policeman to see if she could cross out any theories on who Es is (Did they look familiar. Possible missing child. Any cases to do with an almost crime by a child other than the 10 of them here). Kazui knows Kotoko wants to investigate, but reminds her that, like in their prison while the trial is on, the facilities they're in have high security too. They do have the freedom to move about, but still limited.

If they're trying to investigate Es, maybe Fuuta, Kotoko and Mikoto can try to do the hacking on the comp Mikoto's allowed to use to Photoshop some shots for the MVs and photos (Fuuta and Kotoko seem to be able to search up info they need I think...). Yuno, Mahiru and Muu can work on charming the staff to see if they can spill more deets on Milgram. Not sure how much the group can gather, but oh boy fun times in Milgram can turn into another sort of stress in this AU...

No worries!! Like I said before, this whole au has been a fun collaborative project, so there's no overstepping :) I am sorry I won't be writing a lot on the ending until we get more info, but that's just the perfectionist in me who doesn't want to be proven wrong 😅 Still, I love tossing around and digging into ending scenarios, I really love this!

Because that would make a lot of sense why they're so willing to subject themself to the whole experiment! They remember how tough their experience was, and are confident they can care for the new set of prisoners while doing their job. I'm imagining they get the opportunity to return as guard, and get to have a nice talk with their own guard first. Once they fully understand what it's like, they're know they can handle it and sign up. It adds a bit of drama, too, since they must have been really young committing their crime in order to complete a years-long experiment prior to this one. They would have been like 10? Oof. (Now I wanna see their three trial songs 👀)

And like you said, that also brings up the question of the new warden. Though I think it's based on verdict results, I can just picture Jackalope keeping an eye on everyone during filming. He studyies their interactions and personalities, keeping his own set of notes on who would make a good successor. (I'm not going to go through every character but there are pros to any choice, it's very fun picturing them all taking the job.) Haha, on the other hand, maybe the reason Kotoko keeps bringing up her role as Es' partner/bringer of justice is because she did discover the truth. She drops as many hints as possible so she can be chosen next 😅

Ooh, I love her working with Kazui on an investigation! The fact that eh may know details on recent crimes (and almost-crimes) is super fun to work with. He's the last person who's going to spill a secret, so the group could go several trials without realizing Kazui had actually heard all about their situation this whole time.

(Getting sidetrack for a sec, I'm suddenly realizing that he and Kotoko may have heard things about the crimes in canon, too. They're a bit unclear about how much time passed between the murders and arriving to Milgram, so maybe he heard some things. I don't know how well-connected Tokyo police departments are, but Yuno, Fuuta, Muu, and Shidou are all nearby. There's definitely a chance he caught word of the vigilante nearby, and she heard about the odd policeman's suicide. Both of them could have heard about the tragic housefire, the disgraced doctor, or horrible schoolgirl murder nearby.)

Anyway, I like that idea of Kazui wracking his brain for any similar cases. Though, if he had, Milgram may have had the foresight to wipe parts of his memory, too. Maybe he does end up using his call to reach out to Hinako and have her look into it from the outside. Sadly, Kotoko seems the type to sacrifice her personal call to reach out to a connection who can help as well. I'll have to think about how closely Jackalope monitors those calls, hm.

I'm going crazy over prisoner investigation team !! Kotoko and Fuuta had the online knowledge to find some good info, and Mikoto and Kazui seem like they'd have a huge network of people they can ask for info and favors from. Haha, I'm torn whether Mahiru would have flirting down to a science or if she'd refuse to do it since it wasn't real love 😂 Still, she's very good at reading people and could definitely help the others charm and bribe their way into some restricted areas. Amane and Haruka can also charm with their innocence/cuteness (though I'm not sure Amane would). Shidou seems very organized, he'd have a plan and backup plan and backup-backup plan ready, no matter what happens. I think it's even funnier, then if Milgram had run several experiments prior. Jackalope would think this was just another runthrough, and for the first time the ten subjects decided to organize together and Cause Problems.

I think there's a beautiful irony in a story featuring ten prisoners planning a jailbreak to save the prison guard...

[sylvia-forest]

[CN] Shaw's 2024 Birthday ASMR — Brushing Strokes

⚡Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for an ASMR which hasn't released in EN yet!⚡

[Released Date: 17 June 2024]

[Door opens and closes]

Coming?

Sit down first

Wait until I finish writing this post

[screeching of a chair sound]

Tsk

My point is not to ask you to drag a chair over to the table.

Nor am I trying to criticize you.

Don't accuse me unfairly.

What I mean is…

[Shaw sighs]

never mind

I'm not interested

You look good sitting here

sit down

What's up?

Don't feel like sitting anymore?

OK OK

inspect as you please.

[rustling of pages]

Why practice calligraphy

[Shaw sighs]

A little annoyed lately

So I'm giving myself some assignments.

[Shaw clicks his tongue]

Is it really that surprising that I'm practicing calligraphy?

Oh….

It's rare to see me upset

Concerned about me?

[Shaw chuckles]

nothing

Recently, some of the old music fans haven't been coming to the Live House.

I don't mind much, 

but Adam and Jensen are unhappy about it.

So the atmosphere in the band has been a bit down.

Huh

Me?

I do not mind

Anyway, out with the old, in with the new.

Do they love coming or not?

Not being able to hear Isolated's music is their loss.

Really.

I don’t need to be stubborn in front of you

Are you a three-year-old kid, always asking 'why' and getting to the bottom of things?

If you have time to gossip…

….tsk

How about helping me grind ink instead?

[Shaw scoffs]

Huh? 

I grind the ink and you do the writing?

You're reversing the roles, huh?

no problem

I'll help you add fragrance to your “poetic creation”.

Feel free to use any of the brushes on the rack.

I recommend this one

relatively light

But I haven’t used this brush yet.

You need to start writing first.

Don't know how?

[Shaw sighs in defeat]

It's quite simple.

Come

It's hard now, right?

[sound of water dripping]

Put it in the water first

Rub it from the tip of the brush.

right

Go up slowly

Rub it all the way to the root of the brush

Not enough.

You need to rub it until the hair is completely spread out.

Mm

Almost there.

Rinse it off.

Brush away any loose hairs and moisture.

Hm

good

Let me grind some ink for you to try.

Here we go.

Looks quite decent.

Vertical, horizontal stroke, horizontal, horizontal...

...violent.

Dot, dot, horizontal stroke, horizontal.

...wealth

I know you can’t write anything good

Eh!

There's still ink on the brush

[MC splashes ink on Shaw ‘accidentally’]

Tsk…

My clothes... 

Have I turned into a flower-faced cat?

[Shaw's voice lowers an octave, sounding dangerous]

Who did this?

Feeling guilty?

I don't want tissues

[Shaw deliberately lowers his voice]

I want………

[MC trying to run away but got caught]

tit for tat

[sound of Shaw’s heavy breathing + something drops on the floor]

Still want to run?

Admit your mistake?

No use.

Today, I must draw a couple of strokes for you.

Then you'll behave.

[Shaw chuckles + his sexy breathing x1]

Are you so scared that you have to close your eyes?

[the atmosphere is quite heavy here + his sexy breathing x2 GOD]

You were quite stylish when you splashed ink on me just now.

Hold it in.

Even if it's itchy.

Wasn't it like this last time I painted for you?

[Shaw scoffs]

Of course, I have a good memory

But a calligraphy brush is much more versatile than a colored pen.

It can create various changes.

Can you tell what type of pen I'm using right now?

If you guess it right, I'll stop writing.

Not guessing?

Then I'm going to continue

After all, we can't "waste" this piece of fine rice paper.

[Shaw barely holding himself back]

Are you sure you don't want to guess?

Then let me enlighten you.

This is

A pointed, stiff-haired brush.

I usually use it for writing small regular scripts.

You have to write very slowly, very slowly.

[Shaw takes a deep breath and continues whispering sexily]

Horizontal, flat, vertical, straight

This is soft

I don't use it much

So, controlling the brush isn't easy.

Easy and light

Applying more pressure 

affects how much ink is released, 

and it's tricky to control.

Use a little more force

Just like this…

[the beast is unleashed, he drops the brush and starts kissing her ferociously]

[SO MANY MOUTH-WATERING KISSES + HIS SEXY CHUCKLE]

This last one

is a pointed brush.

you should remember

It's the thickest one on the shelf

Especially suitable for writing large characters

With one stroke,

you can make an impression on the back of the paper.

[AGAIN STARTS KISSING HER, I LOST COUNT]

Hello

You've already been bullied by me like this.

Still not opening your eyes?

[His sexy chuckle when teasing her]

alright

I lied to you.

I just dipped it in water.

—

[razorblade180]

Omen

It was dark, pitch black in fact. Well… not really. Orange light randomly tickled my eyes while fibers harassed my tongue every time I took a breath. Man was it stuffy in this. If only my hands weren’t tied behind my back.

“Hello? Can you please remove the sack? I’m already in the car.”

I waited for an answer but of course nobody wanted to speak! It’s not like I don’t feel their body heat or how the seat sinks in on both sides of me. I move my right leg forward and immediately tap something that moves away. Really? Another one.

“I know there’s at least three people who hear me. Speak now or endure beatboxing!”

……

Well, they asked for it.

“Pa pa tsss! Pa pa pa tss! Pa ta pa ta tss! Pa ta pa tss! Yo it’s-”

Before I knew it, my performance was cut short as someone yanked the bag off of my head. Honestly, they lasted longer than I thought. My eyes stung for a second thanks to the setting sun, but it wasn’t long before I saw a gruffy brute of a man in a black suit with a pretty nice brown beard. I don’t think he liked my performance.

I looked to my left and right to see more suits! Both pretty redheads in shades. The one on my left had short hair while the right had short hair and a softer jawline.

“Am I in the middle of a twin thing? That’s interesting.”

I stare back at the man who I just know has to be smiling somewhere on the inside. “Thank you for taking the bag off.”

“It goes back on if you keep yapping.”

“If you didn’t want a conversation then why didn’t you gag me? Who the ladies look down on you? What are you an uncle?”

He squinted at me in silence. Hell yeah; I definitely got it on the first try. Now that I look at him closely he does look older than them. Also…this car is nice. Not to mention long. This is the fanciest abduction ever.

“Is this a limo?”

“Wouldn’t you know? You’re an actress.”

“It’s called small talk.”

The man sat up straight and opened his suit jacket slightly so I noticed the gun. Clearly someone didn’t like small talk.

“Guns aren’t scary when they’re holstered. Most of the time anyway.” I look at the short haired woman. “You're very pretty by the way. How are you a thug instead of an actress?”

She didn’t even bother to look my way. Tragic. I turn the possible twin then hear a familiar click. The uncle decided to make the gun scarier.

“No more talking.”

It’s amazing how good suits don't equal experience. Frankly, it was concerning.

“Sir, if that’s actually loaded I recommend you remove the magazine. Second, you won’t shoot me because clearly someone paid you to steal me instead of murder.”

It got silent again. Both the ladies looked at their uncle and that seemed to smooth out his edges. He was nice enough to holster that bad boy of his.

“That definitely has rubber bullets, right?”

“Why would it?” Said the long-haired woman. “Do you really think nobody will notice you're gone or something?”

“Oh you can talk! Eh, they might notice eventually but I run off sometimes. It’s the afternoon, not the dead of night.”

The man grumbled, “Don’t entertain the target.”

Such a rude thing to say. “You know my name. It’s Serendipity Karuma. I know I’m an actress but this is overkill. Who hired you?”

“Why the hell would I tell you that?”

“Because I’m already caught? Speaking of which, the rope around my wrist burns. Would you humor me enough to untie them? I’m dainty.”

I bat my eyes for dramatic effect. Nobody resists floral pink eyes.

I’ve been keeping my cool so far but it’s become impossible to ignore the intoxicating smell coming from the brown bag near the man.

“You stole me before I got my late lunch. Is that a double in the bag?”

“Y-Yes…”

“Knew it! Look, if you give me a single bite I promise it won’t be huge and it will prove I’m trustworthy enough to untie me.”

“Those two things don’t add up.”

“They do when you suck at math.” I giggled at my own ridiculous joke, but I wasn’t alone. Pretty lady on my right snickered.

“Uh-Sorry.” She cleared her throat.

Fortune favored me for once and the uncle actually took out a fresh burger that rumbled my stomach like a dryer on max settings. He put it right in front of my face and I oh so gracious took a moderate bite.

“Mmmmm.”

Car food and kidnapping is such a good combo. Especially when the food is greasy the drive has the hymn of the tires on the road.

“Thank you kind sir. You all actually seem like decent people.”

“We are not untying you.”

Why are people so stubborn? It’s not like I’m tangibly a threat. Well…not physically. I could hear it again, the whispers that never truly leave me. The way my body tingles from head to toe while I felt a knot in my shoulder made me sigh as I put the pieces together. This part was never fun.

“May I ask one earnest and important question to you all? You don’t actually know who hired you to take me, do you? Was it a direct contact or through a third party?”

Maybe it was the sincerity of my voice but it got the girl to my left to speak.

“Third party.”

Good old uncle was about to yell at the girl but I nudged his foot.

“Hey, I don’t know why you three or thugs but I will match the price if you let me go right now.”

“Do you think we’re that dumb!?”

Okay, now I am getting annoyed. “No! I think your client doesn’t give a shit about you, or they would’ve told you not to have live ammo.”

“What?”

His eyes widened and I truly tell how little they mattered in this scheme. That’s when it hit me, maybe this was the scheme itself? The whispering grew dead silent to me while the sudden sound of horn blaring was heard by all. I didn’t bother to look for the source, nor could I afford to care. I’m not a nice enough person to let things simply happen as they’re supposed to. The moment the man turned his head to look out the window, I gritted my teeth and forced my right hand out of the rope; I didn’t waste a second stealing his gun before-

BOOM

The limo was struck from the left. The entire world began spinning as the car filled with screams. Not mind though. All I could do was clench my jaw, shut my eyes and hold the gun firmly. My finger never grazed the trigger and yet all the violent movements eventually led to a BANG!

Was it all instant? Did I black out? All I knew was when I opened my eyes I saw a man writhing pain as he clenched his shoulder. The weight of one of the twins felt crushing while the other became the platform I laid on. If only I was a tad faster. The man could only watch helplessly as I unloaded the gun and put on the busted glass window.

My head was still ringing. That was a far fall. “Did we fall off a bridge?”

Truthfully I had no idea why I was still trying to talk to the man. He currently had more important problems than my questions. I rolled my body forward, hitting the new floor of this sideway limousine. Hadn’t noticed this before but it has a sunroof. Had a sunroof that is. My arms reached up and pulled me towards it while my legs got their act together. It pays to do your own stunts.

“Wa-Wait…” the man groaned.

“No time for that. If you’re worried about the girls, I could feel them flinching. Just…”

Man, my head hurts. I touch the top gently and don’t feel anything warm or wet. That’s good at least. Can’t say the same about whoever is the driver. Bullets rarely have one target in my experience.

“Find the strength to get them through the roof. Whatever happens next will probably be better than now.”

I let my body fall through the opening and land in crisp, cool water. Too bad it wasn’t deep enough to cushion anything. Actually…that would be awful. I prefer this creek. Definitely this creek. My body finally allows me to stand and before long, I’m walking. Sure it hurts and I have a slight limp in my step but I’ve been through worse. Won’t be long before an ambulance arrives. It is afternoon after all. Those amateurs were lucky. Late night crimes don’t go too well.

“Time to go. This isn’t my kind of limelight anyway.”

I got far enough away for it to matter. Siren’s played behind me sooner rather than later. Hopefully those three find a different career path. At the very least, let them never bump into me again.

“I should really invest in a bodyguard somehow. Heh, as if that’ll work. Oh well… back to my trailer I guess.”

Life will forever have its ups and downs and all things considered, this was a humbling middle ground. That was until I felt my leg vibrate. Scroll isn’t broken. Today is a good day. I take it out and answer the obvious questions from my Director.

“WHERE ARE YOU!?”

“On a walk.”

“I hear sirens!”

“They aren’t for me.”

“Are they because of you?”

Gotta admit, he was very good at asking questions.

“In my defense, I was kidnapped.”

“YOU WERE WHAT!? I THOUGHT THAT WAS DONE WITH!?”

“It could be a random coincidence? Nobody knew anything, which is concerning for other reasons. It’s pretty gross when I consider the worst scenario.”

“Where are you? I’ll pick you up.”

“No offense but I’m tired of cars. I need the exercise anyway. See you at my trailer?”

“…Fine.”

“Oh! Can there be burgers waiting for me? I can even go for a kids meal.”

“Fine! But your toy is a med kit!”

He hung up abruptly. Jokes on him. That’s the toy I wanted. Hopefully it doesn’t ruin our film schedule. After all, I’ve never been to Menagerie. Something fun is bound to happen there.

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About The First Doctor's Run

Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and sometimes draw comics and cartoons.

So, I’ve made a discovery…Almost every episode of Classic Doctor Who is available FOR FREE on Tubi! You know what this means?!

“More people can watch the early beginnings of the most iconic sci-fi series of all time?”

That AND I can finally review Doctor Who as a whole!

I won’t lie, this has been something I’ve wanted to do for a WHILE. Either as a ranking of each Doctor or a ranking of their best episodes, I’ve been wanting to go in depth with this series for SO LONG. And since the odds are I WON’T become a writer for television like I’ve always dreamed, I might as well talk about my favorite TV shows! Starting with the son of a bitch who started it all: The First Doctor.

Here’s what I know about the First Doctor: Next to nothing. My experience with The Doctor as a whole started all the way with Number Nine, with the only taste of One being through that Christmas Special a few years back. He’s definitely more cynical and rude than present Doctors, but this is way back in his early beginnings. NO ONE knew what direction this character would take years later and just focussed on making an interesting character NOW. Er, then? Now? Then?

Eh, bibbly-bobbly.

The point is that I’m going to TRY and not be biased with One, look at him as if I were right there in 1963. Unfortunately, unlike everyone ELSE in the sixties, I don’t have access to all the episodes. During 1968-1978, most tapes that held Doctor Who episodes were reused for new film or deleted completely for space, leaving NINETY-SEVEN episodes erased from time forever and causing twenty-six serials either gone completely or incomplete. It’s basically what streaming services and studios are doing nowadays, but without pirating sites as a safety net to preserve the art from being COMPLETELY lost. Now, there are some audio tracks saved for commercial release that feature still images or commissioned animation, but that’s not the case for every episode, unfortunately. So things are going to get a little…weird for this review. For now, I’ll say that I’m going to stick to what’s on Tubi and improvise with what’s NOT on there. Also, I’m not going to go through every single episode. Just share my thoughts on each serial as a WHOLE, mainly because those practically add up to modern episodes anyway, just an hour or two longer.

Now, with that said, let’s take a step back in time as we discuss the first adventures with our first Doctor.

Decades Old Spoilers Below

THE SERIALS

We’ll begin by going in order of each serial, starting with his first adventure and ending with his last. Helps go through this journey together.

The Unearthly Child: Okay, full disclosure, this one’s NOT on Tubi, so I had to look it up through…other means. But to be fair, it’s not like I could just IGNORE The Doctor’s very first adventure. It’s here we see a sort of formula that still remains constant to this day. The Doctor meets new companions, they become shocked by how the TARDIS is bigger on the inside, they go to a place that’s filled with a temporary cast of disposable characters, and are forced to solve a problem for them or die trying. Of course, some things are different, and not just the inside of the TARDIS. The fact that The Doctor had a granddaughter was mind blowing and left me wondering what happened to her since she never showed up ONCE in the revival. And The Doctor was…surprisingly inactive despite being the titular character. He caused more problems than fixed them, like being the reason everyone was trapped in the Stone Age and later becoming the person who needed to be rescued. Honestly, Ian proved himself more as the leading man than The Doctor did throughout the whole ordeal, calling the shots and even being the one who came up with the plan that got them OUT of danger. Even when taking account that this was just the show starting out, it seems weird that the titular character isn’t the one who leads the group and is instead the whiney bitch that the others just tell themselves to ignore. As for the adventure, it’s pretty dull. Granted, you need to introduce audiences to the concept of time travel by showing them something easy to grasp like going back to the stone age. You gotta save weirder stuff for the future episodes. But the characters getting chased around by cavemen isn’t really that engaging, and it REALLY drags down a lot by part four where the conflict feels stretched out to meet the full twenty-three minutes. Overall, not that great of a first introduction but most of the best series of television rarely start off perfect. The question is if it makes me want to see more, and…it honestly doesn’t. If not for the knowledge of what the series would eventually become, I’m not sure WHY someone would stick around. But the Doctor Who fan in me is strong so I say we keep charging on.

The Daleks: The first encounter with The Daleks, the Doctor’s WORST enemies, and the serial is much better because of it. It’s actually interesting to see how these villains began with how simple they are to fight, the fact that they don’t INSTANTLY kill others they attack, and how they actually keep PRISONERS. And the serial does a great job at showing how they’re definite menaces to be feared, but not impossible to defeat, creating decent tension as the characters try to fight back literal killing machines. I also love how every character throughout the serial does something important, especially The Doctor who manages to do much more this time than whine and complain as he actually uses his intelligence to help his companions out of this troublesome situation. Although, he’s still the jackass that got them all trapped in this situation all for the sake of exploring a town that they know NOTHING about. There’s definite improvements to his character this time, but The Doctor being the cause for their current conflict is not one of them. And while we’re on complaints, this serial STILL feels like it stretches its adventure out for the sake of making the serial longer than it should be. There’s some definite excitement in the first half with our core four characters trying to escape the Daleks, but this serial still didn’t need to be seven gosh dang episodes long. I feel like there’s some meat to be cut out with making the Thals stand up for themselves, conceiving a plan of attack, and invading the Daleks’ base. Other than that, this is still a pretty decent serial filled with great tension from the Daleks and strong chemistry and dynamics between our core four. It’s definitely stronger than the last serial and a MUCH better introduction to the series. No wonder it’s the one that Tubi has.

The Edge of Destruction: A nice, short mystery where the first half does really well in making you feel as disoriented as the rest of the cast. There’s this solid unease where you’re not sure what’s going on and you’re left to pick up the pieces, bit by bit, to figure out what happened and if there’s anyone or anything responsible for this mess. Although, part two tends to fall a tad short because most of the clues we got were then explained to the audience and then given this big explanation that came out of left field because the biggest clue wasn’t revealed yet. So as a mystery, it definitely isn’t strong. Though, I do like how The Doctor is the one to figure things out and save the day in this serial. Sure, him being antagonistic towards the others wasn’t great but I enjoy how The Doctor has finally warmed up to his companions and that it’s implied that he no longer chooses to be suspicious of them. So while the mystery fell short, I can’t complain when it improves The Doctor’s character.

Marco Polo: Unavailable on Tubi due to the BBC deleting episodes. Yeah, unfortunately, this is our FIRST serial that can’t be seen in its entirety through official means…Though, no one said anything about using transcripts.

HAHA! Loophole! Because while I’m not going to steal audio-only episodes for the sake of reviews, who’s going to stop me from READING. It’s not stealing episodes if I’m just reading what happens! Although, unfortunately, it only gives me a PART of the picture. I won’t understand performances or fully grasp how characters look, but it’s no different from strictly LISTENING. There’s a lot that unfortunately goes missing when a visual media loses its visuals, and for a case like this it’s best to work with what we have. And what I have is the story pretty much described to me by someone else. It’s not preferable, but it IS what I can do for these times. Remember this every time a studio deletes episodes or entire shows off its platforms.

With that said, based on what I’ve read…Yeah, this one DRAGS. It’s The Doctor and company being forced to move from place to place and dealing with Marco Polo as they do. Doesn’t sound too bad, but each place they go to follows a specific formula: Someone does something Polo doesn’t like, he voices displeasure about it, The Doctor and others argue their case, Tegana points out how they’re actually evil, and Marco Polo, who flips from being reasonably cautious and unreasonably stupid, constantly tells them to get out of his face while still dragging them off to the next location. This goes on for SEVEN EPISODES, each one making the whole serial feel way too long and way too repetitive. I kept hoping this would be the end of the serial and we could move on to the next, only for it to KEEP. F**KING. GOING! It’s so dull that I needed TWO DAYS to read through the damn thing. But maybe that’s the problem: I had to READ it. There might be subtleties in the VISUAL performance that better conveys Marco’s personality, even if it DOES seem to flip/flop on paper. Plus, there are some things like the set designs and special effects that a transcript could gloss over and not properly convey. And there are SOME nice bits like The Doctor trying (and failing) to win the TARDIS back in a game of backgammon, which is all kinds of fun. And Susan made an endearing friendship with Ping-Cho. Those two are surprisingly adorable together and it’s nice to see Susan make a connection with someone her own age. Other than that, though, if this wasn’t that great of a story on paper, the original serial better have some MIND BLOWING execution to make it great. Otherwise, maybe fans aren’t losing much if this serial is lost to time.

The Keys of Marinus: A pretty clever idea with this one. The story for this serial is that The Doctor and his companions are out searching for the titular Keys of Marinus, presenting a story that’s a fetch-quest, with each episode dedicated to the characters finding one key. It’s smart because instead of stretching out one adventure to make the serial longer, it connects four adventures through this loose thread, keeping audience interest up as everyone tries to get out of the danger of the week. It’s fairly effective, filled with great moments like Barbara trying to save the core four from being brainwashed into mindless zombies, the entirety of “The Snows of Terror,” and The Doctor solving a murder. It’s all good fun, but not without some problems. An episode like “The Screaming Jungle” feels like it needs more time as there’s a lot of ideas that don't live up to its full potential or come out of nowhere. Like, a living jungle SOUNDS cool, but it only really comes into fruition until the end. There’s also the fact that the search for the last key feels stretched out because the writers didn’t realize soon enough that the finale for this serial was too short so they made the final hunt longer to compensate. But what bothers me the most is that The Doctor just…leaves the hunt just to spend time in a more civilized society. It works out for the murder mystery, but it also feels weird that the titular character bows out for two whole episodes, leaving his companions to do all of the work he neglects. Honestly, at this point, I’d say Ian should be the one the show is named after with how well he leads the party and even comes up with a clever plan to stop the big bads. And I know I keep harping on it, but why name the show Doctor Who when that same doctor hardly helps? Still, “The Keys of Marinus” is a fun serial that leads to solid short tales, even if there were some rough steps along the way.

The Aztecs: Oh, this one’s racist, isn’t it…? You know what? I’m as white as a ping-pong ball and have the patience of a goldfish to do proper research myself to make any judgments to decide something that I have no official standing on. So I won’t be the one to say what is and isn’t racist…Aside from the fact that those are obviously WHITE people playing the Aztecs.

But possible racism aside, this serial is more on the dull side. I do like this conflict between The Doctor and Barbara, where Barbara tries to change history for what she thinks is for the better (Which means changing the history and culture of Aztecs–Let’s not get into it) where The Doctor tries to convince her that there’s no way to change history. Future episodes continue to dive deep into the idea that history cannot be altered no matter what the characters want, and it’s interesting to see one of the first instances where the characters learn this the hard way. I also love how it ends on this idea that while they couldn’t change what happened, they still touched the lives of those they’ve made relationships with, meaning that it ALL wasn’t a loss. It’s a shining light of optimism within the tragedy that becomes a reoccuring theme through a lot of future episodes, and I love it each time. But other than that, this serial is another one that DRAGS. It’s just The Doctor and his companions screwing around with Aztecs for two hours while this boring subgroup conspired against them. It makes the whole serial feel like it’s running in place for too long, and I feel like if it cut out ONE episode or maybe shorten it down to two, the serial could be stronger for it. It’s also weird how Barbara is, like, a different person in this. Like, I get it, she’s acting like a goddess, but she seems TOO good at her performance, almost as if the writers wrote her as an ACTUAL goddess and not a character PRETENDING to be one. It feels off a lot of the time, and it’s just one more thing that makes this serial weak. Even though I like the idea of characters trying to fight hard to change history, that’s something done MUCH better in the future. It’s a charming first attempt, but not one I’m willing to revisit.

The Sensorites: A pretty…substandard serial. The titular Sensorites start off pretty scary and intimidating, being unlike anything the show has produced so far in this run. It presents a bit of uncanny horror for a good while…But then the serial reveals that they’re mostly peaceful creatures, aside from a few devious outliers, who actually need help. It’s a decent twist that also leads to The Doctor being the most active he’s ever been. The way he goes about finding a cure for this mysterious illness and taking charge in dealing with any dangerous Sensorite made it feel like, for the first time, he deserves to have the show named after him. I like it…but it doesn’t stop the serial feeling like it’s a little aimless at times, almost as if it’s drifting by for six episodes. We get some good stuff from it, but storywise it feels like we’re just bouncing from scene to scene as if the writers are making stuff up as they go and presenting coincidences that foil some villains’ plans. And then there’s this out of nowhere idea that this subgroup of humans lived under the Sensorites for so long, but there was never any indication of this and it’s presented in the VERY LAST episode, making it an almost pointless idea that went nowhere. I’m glad to see The Doctor become more  of a leading man, but I would have preferred it in a better, more coherent serial.

The Reign of Terror: MOST of the serial is intact…aside from two episodes. Meaning that it’s incomplete and not available on Tubi, so…ONTO THE TRANSCRIPT!

On paper, this whole thing seems like a drag. It starts interestingly enough with The Doctor being separated from his companions as they’re taken prisoner during the French Revolution. It leads to Ian, Barbara, and Susan trying to escape while The Doctor tries to reunite with them (instead of pissing off for half the serial), creating this situation where everyone’s putting in the work as they share the same goal. The problem is that, like the REST of the serials before, the characters fart around for too long just to stretch the story out to reach a goal. They will escape and then get recaptured for the sake of forced tension, and by the time Susan and Barbara were in prison again I just wanted the serial to come close to an end. Thankfully, by then, there were two episodes left, but it doesn’t change how it’s all two episodes too long. The only thing to catch my intrigue later was Barbara wishing they could help Robespierre from getting killed and The Doctor reminding her that they can’t change history. I still love an idea like that, but here, it happens near the very end and there’s barely enough time to appreciate it or dive deep into it. In fact, this could have been a great “Can’t mess with the past” episode, but it’s just…the characters trying to escape a situation and spending too long on it. The worst part is that this is the Season One finale, the time to go for broke, and it’s just…the same old thing with the same old problems as previous serials. Maybe it worked better visually or even through audio, but on paper it’s just as slow and boring as ever. Hopefully the next season starts big.

Planet of Giants: Huh. Guess it did. Just…literally.

Jokes aside, I am impressed with the set design in this serial. I can tell everyone worked so hard to set the scale, making you feel how small these characters are. Sure, you can tell exactly HOW it was done, but for the sixties this all must have been mind blowing work, especially for a TV show. As for the story, it’s…adequate. The characters are trying to prevent these two men from making an insecticide that could do more harm than good while also trying to find their way back to the TARDIS to reverse their size. It’s not the BIGGEST (ha) danger in the world and it’s something they could have stopped easily at normal size. If they focussed on growing again, they could have stopped the main evil prick within seconds, so the majority of the serial is just them messing around by trying to stop him while they’re an inch tall. And there’s also the fact that Barabara held the idiot ball throughout the serial, touching something in a lab when she shouldn’t have and keeping that information to herself for far too long. Like, WHY didn’t she tell the others she was infected with the insecticide? We never got an answer for that and it’s kind of frustrating as it adds unnecessary tension to a serial that doesn’t really need it. The characters trying to get big again is more than enough, we don’t need a nefarious plot about an insecticide gone wrong or one of the characters getting sick from it. But while the story definitely could use some improvements, the set design really does carry it, being an impressive visual display even if it’s for an inferior serial.

The Dalek Invasion of Earth: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH, so THAT’S what happened to Susan…Anyways, the best way I could describe this serial is two steps forward and one step back. The cinematography is impressive, looking like a feature film at times with dynamic shots and cool ways that the camera follows the characters. BUT the direction seems to be all over the place. Most of the time, it’s fine, but then you get stuff like actors interrupting or talking over each other or moments where peripheral view is…not a thing. There’s even a part where a Dalek is looking RIGHT AT THE DOCTOR as it’s moving away…and it just continues moving onward as if nothing happened. It’s actually kind of hilarious at times. And speaking of the Daleks, this serial did a great job showcasing how threatening and evil they can really be. The twisted way they used humans as slaves to destroy a planet is sick and seeing how that broke the human mind and ruined their families proved that the Daleks are nothing to be messed with. The problem is that the serial shows how easily they can be messed with. Like, even if they doubt the intelligence of normal Earth people, it’s not a smart plan to have a way for them to escape their prison cell WITHIN THE CELL ITSELF! And how is it that they can blast away people no problem but struggle with the robot slaves they made? I don’t know how it’s possible, but this serial manages to make these tin salt shakers MORE and LESS terrifying. On the upside, our heroes are at least competent in this adventure. Much like the last encounter with the Daleks, everyone does something of value, only this time they’re all split up to accomplish their own task that actually helps the others in a way they wouldn’t expect. It DOES feel like some plot lines are a little aimless with some of our cast waffling about a little longer than they should, but it all leads to a great ending when they reunite once more. 

And, of course, there’s the sad departure of Susan. It’s performed well and does a decent job of making me FEEL a little sad when The Doctor allows Susan to leave so she can live a life of her own without being forced to travel everywhere with him. I liked it…though I do have issues with how the reason that she wants to leave is because she fell in love with a man she’s known for a few days. It’s part of the writing of the sixties, I know that, but it doesn’t change how WEIRD it feels that Susan is willing to give up everything she knows for someone she recently met. So while I enjoyed the scene, it felt very flawed, which is the same for the whole serial. I enjoyed it a lot, but there were a few imperfections here and there that made “The Dalek Invasion of Earth” a messy, albeit fun, serial.

The Rescue: This was a blessedly short serial. The big twist was fairly easy to figure out after Part One, and if this serial was stretched out for more than two parts it would hurt it significantly. We don’t need four parts of the characters farting around, picking up little clues, and then solving the big crisis within minutes. So having the story last for about two episodes leaves for a brief adventure that works well on its own while also introducing the audience to Vicki. And I’ll admit…I’m not too sure about Vicki in this serial. She comes across as a less competent Susan who cries more and doesn’t have the same intrigue Susan did as being The Doctor’s granddaughter. It’s obvious that she’s there as a replacement for the “The Young One” in the group and it doesn’t work for me. What DOES work is how The Doctor is presented, as he acts much more like The Doctor I know now. He’s active towards figuring out what’s going on, caring towards Vicki and consoling her when she needs it, and is the one to confront Bennett in the climax of the serial. I do like how it’s sort of a slow burn with The First Doctor, showing him eventually grow from the bitter old man who couldn’t care less about anyone else to a more kind and proactive character due to the adventures he went on with his companions and the people that they meet. I still say it was off to name the show after the guy who didn’t do much, but The Doctor’s slowly earning his role as the leading man and I enjoyed that this is one of the earlier starts of them becoming the hero we know now. So while this is a standard serial, it does give us one of the better presentations of The First Doctor.

The Romans: *INSERT DATED ROMAN EMPIRE JOKE HERE*

Anywho, this one’s pretty entertaining. There’s basically two sides of this serial’s story: The Doctor and Vicki hanging out with Nero and his hysterical nonsense and Ian and Barbara being stuck in the slave trade…Yeah, probably sounds like the tones would heavily clash with this one, but it surprisingly flows well. You laugh at the hijinks of The Doctor acting as a close friend towards Nero while feeling empathy for Barbara and Ian as they’re forced into the worst possible position in Rome. There’s even equal attention to both plotlines, making them balance each other out fairly well that leads to the serial feeling fast but fun. The only thing that drags it down is how it begins and ends. The cut between the TARDIS falling and The Doctor and Ian chilling out in Roman attire felt jarring. Same goes for the reveal that they willingly stayed in Rome for a whole month instead of focussing all attention on fixing the TARDIS. I suppose it would come across as a pleasant holiday, but then they say they’ve been hanging out in someone else’s house while they were away and that’s…odd. It’s odd that it worked out like that for a whole month. Same goes with the ending, where The Doctor feels giddy at causing the fire of Rome. Even for the First Doctor, it doesn’t seem right that they would take joy in causing such destruction and mayhem. But aside from the problems in the beginning and the end, everything in the middle of the serial offered great entertainment for a pleasant viewing for me.

The Web Planet: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MY EARS! For whatever bizarre reason or another, SOMEONE decided to give these giant ants the most ear-piercingly irritating sound for how they communicate. It was already grating by the first episode, yet they still thought it was a good idea to use the same sound, continuously, FOR SIX EPISODES! Halfway through the third, I genuinely considered skipping the rest of the serial entirely because I couldn’t STAND those f**king ants! Thankfully, I remembered that subtitles were a thing, so I just played the rest of the serial on mute and just read the subtitles. Trust me when I say that is the only way to make the damn thing watchable. And even then, it’s not that great of a serial anyways. It’s the characters helping these anthropomorphic bugs with slightly less annoying (but still pretty annoying) voices in a rebellion against the ants. I’m all about it, because screw those things, but it’s still a bog-standard adventure with some admittedly impressive costumes and effects for the time. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I couldn’t stand LISTENING to this episode, but I would have been completely fine if this was one of the few serials lost to time.

The Crusade: Speaking of which, HALF of this serial is missing and not on Tubi either. So ONTO THE TRANSCRIPTS (Gosh dang it…)

I think the problem with this serial is made clear with how it begins. We have new characters talking about political nonsense as if we, the audience, should already know the context of what they’re saying. Then when we’re introduced to the core four, they’re thrown into the middle of a battle with no proper set-up that their conflict of Barbara getting kidnapped happened so fast that it barely registers. This slow pace of boring politics with characters we don’t know and fast paced attempts of Barbara trying to escape her kidnappers remains throughout this whole serial. MAYBE it was handled better visually, but the way the serial constantly introduces new characters to discuss politics while The Doctor and his companions are barely there makes the whole thing feel like its priorities are disjointed. There should be more focus on Barbara trying to escape while the others go out to save her, but there’s so much attention on the politics and trying so hard to be historically accurate or whatever and it…doesn’t keep my interest. Not to mention that the constant new characters to keep track of as they steal attention is not all that entertaining and causes the whole serial to seem like it forgets who the show’s really about. I just wanted it all to end, as I feel like this is one of those serials that aren’t better on paper nor through execution.

The Space Museum: This one starts off pretty confusing, first intentionally and then unintentionally. I’m just as lost as the characters are, wondering what happened to them and what’s to come of it. It effectively puts me in the mindset the serial wants me to have, but then they give this explanation that just makes my brain hurt when I try to think about it too long and hard. Thankfully, the premise that the serial tries to sell is simple enough to shrug off the nonsense of time and relative dimension or whatever the hell. Basically, The Doctor and his companions saw a vision of what COULD BE their future, and the whole serial is them trying to make sure that never comes to be. It’s a solid premise that’s effectively tense in a lot of scenes as the characters seemingly get closer to what could be an inevitable future. Added with some fun moments of The Doctor being a giggly old goof as he screws with his enemies and it’s a fun time. The only weak part is this subplot involving the most ineffective rebellion I’ve ever seen, where it’s a miracle that they survived this long until they received help from Vicki of all characters. Though, even then, the subplot does well to show how independent Vicki can be in a situation AND adds to the theme that a person’s future can be changed if they changed the lives of others. It’s a decent message that helps make the serial a surprisingly good time. And yeah, that ending sting made me excited for the next one. Speaking of…

The Chase: This was…not what I was expecting. In the last two encounters with The Daleks, it was a big, tense adventure with the characters struggling to find a way to beat them. Here, it’s more like “The Keys of Marinus,” a collection of small adventures as the characters are chased through space and time as they try to escape The Daleks. It’s less of an epic adventure and more of a mixed bag of fun escapades and…awkward distractions. For example, watching the characters get stuck in a haunted house or fighting a robotic Doctor can be entertaining, but them interacting with this weird, underground civilization or this man from Alabama just drag it to a halt. Thankfully, the worst of it is only in the first half, making it a serial that starts slow but picks up momentum as things go on. There’s also some decent money put into this, having some impressive sets that change each episode, some crazy special effects for the sixties (the part where there’s two Doctors still looks good), and some creative camera angles that give a more cinematic feel. I dare say that this would be an impressively put together serial that is mostly fun despite some awkwardness.

But the real meat of this is that “The Chase” ends with the departure of Ian and Barbara. I will admit, the pacing upon their exit felt a bit too fast, with their decision to leave coming out of nowhere and their return home not giving us enough time to appreciate them appreciating Earth. Although, as weird as the pacing is, The Doctor’s heartbreak to see them go is well-acted and believable. You can tell that he’s less upset about the risk that comes with using The Daleks’ time machine and more upset about the idea that they want to leave in the first place. It’s odd that he feels more upset over two humans than his granddaughter, but this is still a moment that introduces the tragedy of The Doctor. They’re a character that’s always on the move, going from one part of the universe to the next and having to say goodbye to every friend and companion they ever make. They WANT to keep company, but know that their companion’s departure is always inevitable. Yet it breaks their heart just the same. I FEEL that tragedy here way more than with Susan, where The Doctor seemed more than willing to let her live her life. But with Ian and Barbara, these two humans who left an impact on him, they’ll stick with The Doctor’s heart for a long time.

The Time Meddler: The premise of this one is great. A time-traveler disguised as a monk is screwing with time to make himself the most important person in the universe. And The Doctor, being the biggest defender of time and space, tries to stop him. It’s a perfect idea that fits perfectly with who The Doctor is while giving him a true foil that he won’t have again until meeting The Master. It’s actually a ton of fun watching what’s basically the Beta Master trying to mess with history just for the pure selfish reasons of self-importance. And I do say that the serial perfectly captures that idea…by Part Four. Yeah, the majority of the first three parts are about hinting at what The Monk has been doing and padding out the runtime with characters screwing around in the woods or the monastery. By the time we get to Part Four, it does work well with the premise, having The Doctor and The Monk try and outsmart each other for victory with The Doctor, of course,  coming out on top. And I’ll admit that it was great seeing The Doctor take charge without someone else stealing the show as the leading man. What, do you think that the new guy STEVEN is going to take Ian’s place as the take-charge companion? Get the hell out of here…

But, yeah, while the first three parts DRAG, “The Time Meddler” at least ends on a high enough note where I say it was worth the watch. I’ll likely only return to that final episode instead of watching the whole thing, but what are you gonna do?

Galaxy 4: Unfortunately, this is another that’s been deleted from history. HOWEVER, it’s still on Tubi…Sort of. Because the audio logs are still intact, they had the whole serial reanimated by Digitoonz Media & Entertainment. And it’s…distracting. Not because the animation is bad. I mean, yeah, it’s not GREAT, but what’s distracting about it is that the animators tried their hardest to give this serial a cinematic feel, having grandiose backgrounds and doing things the actors and set designers wouldn’t be capable of doing. It’s entertaining to see, but leaves me questioning what the original episodes would have looked like. Because there is NO WAY this animation is an EXACT reenactment of what happens. But I’m not really complaining because there are some good stuff that comes from making this serial animated, like having all of Maaga’s forces exact copies of one another or actually seeing the destruction of the planet as Maaga is forced to watch it fall apart around her. I like a lot of this stuff, despite the distractions. As for the story, it feels blessedly quick, albeit simple. I saw the twist of Maaga and her weird ass clones being the real evil a mile away, but this WAS likely one of the first instances when a story presents the nice looking creatures as evil where the ugly looking ones are good. I can give it a little leeway for that, especially since “Galaxy 4” makes it clear that it’s MAAGA who’s the real villain whereas her clones are more or less drones following orders to appease their crooked master. There’s actually a bit of tragedy to the clones where they don’t get a chance to think on their own and do what their master says because it’s all they know. It effectively makes you feel bad for them as you also feel grateful that Maaga dies knowing it was all for nothing. And, again, it all goes by fairly quickly, making a serial that feels short and to the point. I couldn’t ask for better and I REALLY wish there were more lost episodes that were animated. Would have at least made for a more unique experience than reading transcripts to ones that are lost.

Mission to the Unknown: Speak of the devil! At least it’s only ONE episode…And a pretty decent one at that.

This is the first time where we don’t follow The Doctor or any of their companions, but instead some one-off characters. This would happen on occasion, with one of the most popular examples being the episode “Blink,” showing great tension as we watch these characters try to survive without a Doctor to save them. It’s no different here, as “Mission to the Unknown” features two men trying to warn the galaxy of a master plan of the Daleks, setting up a future serial while also standing well on its own for a quick adventure that ends in unfortunate death. It doesn’t give us enough time to really CARE about them, but that might have something to do with me reading it too fast. It’s still a solid episode that leaves one fearing for what’s to come later.

The Myth Makers: And another for the transcripts. Son of a bitch…

It’s not easy to tell strictly through text, but I think this is meant to be a more comedic adventure. In past serials like “Marco Polo” and “The Crusade,” they bore me by forcing in politics and dull characters, likely for the sake of “Historical accuracy.” Here, it’s The Doctor and his companions dealing with idiots on both sides of the Trojan War, with historical accuracy most definitely thrown out the window as people are more familiar with the version in Homer’s Odyssey. It is much more entertaining to see The Doctor try to appeal to the whims of a meathead like Odysseus and watching Priam and his family bicker about Cassandra and the legitimacy of her visions, rather than getting lost in the politics. It’s fun, but I’m curious if it’s meant to be. You have obvious comedic moments like Steven’s quickly failed rescue attempt and Menelaus wanting a drink after hearing The Doctor’s Trojan Horse plan, but the majority of the lines also don’t strike me as TOO humorous. That’s largely because the way an actor delivers a line versus how it’s written can give two different reactions, and it’s why READING the lines doesn’t leave as big of a comedic punch as hearing an actor say it in a funny way.

“Well, then listen to the audio versions.”

I’VE READ SO MANY TRANSCRIPTS AT THIS POINT! I’M IN TOO DEEP NOW!

But I will say that if the point WAS to make this adventure more comedic, then it makes the inevitable fall of Troy feel all the more tragic. I didn’t want the Trojans to die! They were FUNNY! And because they made me laugh a little, it hurt seeing them killed, even if I should have expected from the beginning.

One thing I didn’t expect, though, was that this was Vicki’s departure. Which I wouldn’t have minded if not for how it’s weirdly unceremoniously done. There’s no final goodbye and it feels like it breezes past The Doctor saying he’ll miss her. And her reasoning is just…dull. She leaves because she liked a boy, much like how SUSAN left. I guess there WAS a bit of foreshadowing given how Priam changes Vicki’s name to Cressida, a female character in retellings of the Trojan War who famously falls for Troilus. But even then, it still feels weak and even strange that Vicki would willingly choose to stay in a time she doesn’t live in for Troilus, a boy she knew for about two days. I know it’s something that just…happens back then in 60s fiction, but makes for an off addition to an already entertaining serial.

The Daleks’ Master Plan: SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, this is the LONGEST serial yet! Possibly the longest serial in the show’s history! And the weirdest part is that only three episodes of it still exist, which is crazy not only because of the length but also because it features The Daleks. Even back then, it’s pretty clear that The Daleks are the fan favorite villains of the series, with the writers inserting them in when they can. And you would think that major characters such as them would be more valuable to protect, but no. All we have are mostly audio logs…And transcripts for yours truly.

Which is a shame too, because…this is a frickin’ GOOD one! Quite possibly the best serial I’ve ever read yet! The plot is basically characters playing keep away from each other, chasing after this insanely impressive element that The Daleks want to use for another doomsday weapon. And I just loved that the second The Doctor saw The Daleks, he knew that they needed to be stopped. He wasn’t forced into it or was trying to survive The Daleks attacking first. After three whole adventures of dealing with them, The Doctor finally put two and two together to realize that The Daleks just existing is enough to know that nothing good can come from it. So he takes charge on an adventure that’s definitely a little too long but reads as incredibly grand. It’s sort of a repeat of “The Chase,” where The Doctor and company go from place to place, planet to planet, so they can avoid The Dalek’s capture, but there’s some things that make this serial stronger. For one, the stakes feel real this time, with characters who assist The Doctor and Steven on their journey getting killed unceremoniously or tragically. You’re given enough time with Bret, Katarina, and Sara that when they meet their end for the sake of saving the group, it makes you feel a little something. The whole serial comes to a close with this idea that while victory was met in the end, The Doctor and Steven still take a moment to reflect on the lives they lost to win. It really sets how grim and deadly this adventure was, showing characters could die whether they’re ones you care about or even enemies to The Doctor. Speaking of, this serial also works in giving more unique foes outside of STRICTLY The Daleks. You have Chen, an arrogant and egotistical dilweed who’s maniac drive to be ruler of the Universe and doing anything to get it makes you enjoy his untimely demise all the more. There’s even a surprise return of The Monk, who sets himself more as this pathetic failure of a villain as he stumbles constantly to one-up The Doctor only to be outsmarted every turn. Both mix things up well while also making it clear that The Daleks are the real threats as Chen and The Monk follow every command due to fearing for their safety. It helps make the serial feel like a more unique adventure compared to past ones with The Daleks, adding more life, energy, and intensity to it. The only time I was taken out of the whole thing was this random Christmas special that got inserted halfway through. It distracted from the plot way too long and was filled with jokes that were probably funny VISUALLY and maybe AUDIBLY, but not so much when you’re reading it…like I did. Still, that’s ONE episode in a twelve episode long serial. Being entertained with eleven out of twelve episodes is still a great feat that makes “The Daleks’ Master Plan” a masterclass serial. Now can we go back to actually WATCHING these episodes again?

The Massacre: Guess not…

And this one’s one of the worst, if not THE worst. “The Massacre” has the same problems as “The Crusade.” So much of this serial is focussing on the politics of the historical event taking place, watching these characters you barely give a shit about with the main cast you love getting pushed to the sidelines. Except that while “The Crusade” had the charming cast of THE DOCTOR, Ian, Barbara, and even Vicki, “The Massacre” focuses on Steven. And I’ll get into the specifics in a moment, but I do NOT care for Steven. So to have four episodes focusing on boring historical politics and a character I do not like, it’s pretty easy to pick up why I dislike this serial the most out of all of them. I’m not kidding when I say that the best part about it is the moment where it seemed like Steven was leaving. Before you say anything, it’s not because it gave me hope that Steven was gone for good…Okay, it’s partially because of that, but it’s mostly because of this moment where The Doctor reflects on the people in his life and how he misses them. He even corrects HIMSELF when getting Ian’s last name wrong, showing us that he cares enough to get it right now because he misses his friend. It’s a bittersweet moment that proves how much The Doctor loves each companion they’ve made, even the first few people they’ve met in this first life. It was beautiful…and then it got undercut immediately to introduce Dodo and shove Steven back in as he changed his mind. The one thing I liked about this serial, and it’s ruined by itself. Yeah, this one’s definitely the worst, and I’m not missing it.

The Ark: FINALLY, something I don’t have to READ!

“The Ark” surprised me for a second. I knew going in that it was a four-part-long serial, but by the time Part Two met its end I was confused. It seemed like the story was wrapping up as The Doctor and company cured a ship of the common cold and went off to a new adventure. Only for the TARDIS to appear in the same exact spot many years later with a new problem caused by their actions in the past. Already, I love this premise. We almost never return to the same place twice with The Doctor, where after they save people from this great threat they always head off, assuming everything is fine. This is the first time we actually see what happened to the people that The Doctor saved, only to find out something worse happened to them. It’s a solid premise with good enough execution. I like that this whole thing started with an accident. Dodo just happened to have a cold and didn’t expect the consequences that could come to a species that never experienced it. It puts The Doctor and company in a situation where you don’t BLAME them for what happened but you understand that they have to clean up this mess they caused. I also find it brilliant that the first half of the serial has The Doctor and his companions dealing with rouge Guardians and the second is rouge Monoids, giving this message that both parties aren’t innocent creatures and that peace can only be made when they learn to live together instead of treating one species as slaves. It’s a bit muddled as we don’t really see much of the extent that the Guardians treat the Monoids and how disrespected they are. It gives the idea that the creepy-looking creatures who look different are more at fault, especially since the human Guardians are the ones who assist The Doctor in both halves. There’s never any assistance from the Monoids, which makes it feel like peace might not be the best option. I wouldn’t harp on it if not for the fact that several serials back in “Galaxy 4,” we had the same message of “The ugly ones aren’t evil” with decent results. Still, the idea and meaning is clear as no one’s really, wholly good. Just could have used some cleaning up on showing the good side of the Monoids, making “The Ark” having a strong story ARC.

HAHAHA–Kill me. Next one!

The Celestial Toymaker: All but the last part of this serial is missing, so…onto the transcripts.

I mean it, kill me.

(I don’t actually mean it. Just…been doing this for a while)

This serial introduces The Toymaker, a character that would only reappear once more…fifty-seven years later with the incomparable Niel Patrick Harris playing the role. And speaking as someone who got introduced to this character through NPH doing random accents and a random ass dance sequence to “Spice Up Your Life,” I wasn’t sure what to expect from the version in the sixties. Turns out, while he’s not as bombastic and jovial as Niel Patrick Harris, The Toymaker is still the most unique villain that The Doctor and others have come across so far. The Doctor isn’t kidding when he says that The Toymaker loves using people as his playthings, sending out dolls, board games, playing cards, and all sorts of other traps to entertain himself with The Doctor and his companions. And while Steven and Dodo aren’t the best duo in the world,, they’re at least paired up with despicable and hilariously incompetent antagonists as The Toymaker sends out his toys against them. You’re entertained by them, but at the same time you feel bad for them when they fail because they’re all trapped souls captured by The Toymaker. Or are they? The serial cleverly keeps you guessing whether or not these toys were once people, leaving it up to interpretation on if it’s all a part of a trick he’s playing. It adds a bit of tragedy to the goofs and gags, which I certainly appreciate. Then you have The Doctor’s game with The Toymaker that adds intensity, as he’s trying his best to stall to win the game until Steven and Dodo find the TARDIS. And, sure, I would have loved MORE to actually SEE The Doctor beat The Toymaker in a battle of wits as opposed to watching Steven and Dodo going through a goofy, silly adventure, I’m not complaining too much for the end result. “The Celestial Toymaker” is still an incredibly entertaining serial that has every character working well together to survive and being competent as they win their own game. Although, I do have to call nonsense towards Fourteen in “The Giggle.” Saying that cheating is the last thing The Toymaker would do when that’s all he does in this serial…Nonsense.

The Gunfighters: This serial finds the characters in a wild, wild west adventure, and this one’s definitely meant to be a more entertaining ride rather than an epic adventure with huge stakes. You’ve got fun stuff like Steven being forced to sing at gunpoint, an outlaw playing dentist as he rips out The Doctor’s tooth, Dodo fainting as she attempts to hold a man at gunpoint, and British people trying to do western accents. It’s definitely a good time, but it also feels like the writers leaned too hard into this being a western. All the tropes and cliches seem present and it’s definitely enjoyable, but it doesn’t feel like a Doctor Who story. The characters are pretty much in the background as we follow the narrative threads of these outlaws and a sheriff. Sure, they’re entertaining as well and don’t make the serial drag like “The Crusade” and “The Massacre” did, but at the cost of abandoning who we really follow this series for: The Doctor and his companions. What’s crazy is that ten (eleven?) regenerations later, The Doctor would go on another wild west adventure, facing down a space robot playing bounty hunter as The Doctor protects a town that’s inexperienced with this kind of threat. Not only does that episode have a concept that works perfectly for this show but it makes the story revolve around The Doctor and his companions trying to save this town. In “The Gunfighters,” The Doctor and company are pretty much absent for most of the story, either being dragged along by characters with more narrative importance, or stepping out of the entire climax. And yes, there are instances when the show follows random characters for the entirety of a story, but that’s still done in a way that it feels like it matches the show. Like how in “Mission of the Unknown,” where we follow characters trying desperately to stop The Daleks. Goofy or intense sci-fi nonsense and seeing The Doctor and co. reacting to history is what makes Doctor Who one of the most engaging science fiction shows ever made. While a western can be entertaining, something like “The Gunfighters” tends to make you forget what show you’re watching.

The Savages: Deleted. And a shame too, because this is another good one. The concept of this civilized society using living people as an energy source is already chilling, and the serial does well in showing how messed up it is for the supposed Savages. Though, if this was written in Modern Doctor Who, I feel like  the results of this power draining would be MUCH darker. Especially if Steven Moffat wrote the episode (The sick bastard). As is, it’s still great with how they made the power draining as dark as it could be for the sixties, all while adding a classist message that still manages to work NOW with its themes of the high and mighty sucking the life of what they think is savage. I love it and I also adore how The Doctor quickly picked up on how sick this whole idea is, wanting to shut the whole thing down immediately. THAT’S The Doctor I know, and it’s pretty fun that what saved the day is their leader taking some of The Doctor’s essence. Even when temporarily beaten, The Doctor still wins.

It’s all pretty great, but do you wanna know what’s better? STEVEN! IS! GONE!

Again, I’ll get to WHY later, but I am so glad to see Steven go. He wasn’t really the best companion out there and it is pretty nice that in his last adventure with The Doctor it’s all about Steven finally learning how to be useful. It’s to better sell that he’d be a capable leader to these people and…under his leadership, they’d probably die, but I can take it. Seeing Steven gone makes me willing to accept any nonsense of making him a leader and it’s nice that the show lets him leave with dignity. Even with the worst companions, it’s great the show at least treats them as people and lets ones like Steven leave happy enough instead of injecting him out the airlock or something. His departure is very welcomed and makes this serial stand out a little higher.

The War Machines: The final serial available on Tubi, and it’s…alright? Yeah, I honestly have no strong feelings one way or the other towards this one. The premise itself is what I love to see in Doctor Who, as this machine meant to help humanity ends up wanting to conquer it, with The Doctor being a key factor in securing the victory only to become the machine’s downfall. It’s all decent enough, with actors doing well at portraying these disturbingly obedient human puppets and there being some impressive puppetry on display with WANTON’s war machines. But as decent as it all is, none of it really WOWED me. The techno babble that The Doctor used to explain how he outsmarted and bested the war machines lost me due to how convoluted it was. Same goes for how WANTON was able to hypnotize human beings. I don’t even know if it was ever explained because of how much non-scientific science was thrown in this entire serial. It’s the central part of this entire premise, and it makes little sense how a computer was able to hypnotize anyone, even if it was supposedly advanced.

Another thing that bothers me about this serial is that this is supposed to be Dodo’s exit. She’s out for half the adventure and doesn’t even get to say goodbye in person. She just takes a nap, lets her replacements do most of the work, and then she’s gone for good. It feels cheap and gives her the weakest exit out of any companion in this run. Possibly the weakest exit ever. It’s another little aspect that makes the serial not BAD but not outstanding, either.

The Smugglers: Not much to say about this one. Just a fast romp as The Doctor and his companions fend off pirates in their hunt for a legendary treasure. It drags a little bit and there’s a lot of flip-flopping in terms of certain characters’ loyalty, but it has some fun moments, like The Doctor outsmarting opponents and Ben and Polly proving their worth as companions fairly quickly. Not a spectacular adventure, but entertaining enough.

The Tenth Planet: Here it is. The final serial in the First Doctor’s run…And it’s incomplete.

Yeah, the final adventure with William Hartnell’s Doctor, and you can’t see it in its entirety. You can watch the first three parts, but the fourth? Not a chance. It’s quite disappointing and, you know what? If I could cheat with his first adventure, I can cheat with his last. Let’s use “other means” than Tubi to watch those first three episodes and read what happens next.

And I’ll just say…it’s ALMOST perfect. It has a STRONG premise, introducing the Cybermen, a longtime enemy of The Doctor. It was so fascinating to see how humanlike these monsters began, moving and speaking like everyday men just with a slight robotic lean to it. It actually makes the more robotic, emotionless Cybermen more chilling in the modern age as it now becomes clear that the Cybermen perfected their goal to be more robot than human. The serial also cleverly makes it where the Cybermen aren’t the ONLY threat. I truly love that the bitter and impulsive General Cutler is just as much of an antagonist as the Cybermen are, with his desire to kill them before they kill Earth being potentially more damaging if he ever got away with his plans. It goes along with a recurring theme of this show in the modern age where those who try to be the victor in an unnecessary war tend to destroy themselves. Cutler dies because he attracted Cybermen attention with the warhead and the Cybermen die because their planet burned up when they could have asked for assistance with their problem instead of destroying the Earth for survival. It’s handled really well, with Polly and Ben still continuing to be useful additions to the cast as they do all they can to stop both Cutler and the Cybermen. Mainly because they have to with The Doctor checking out for when things get their most deadly.

Speaking of, the one thing that holds the serial back is The First Doctor’s exit. This was his final adventure, and he doesn’t do much aside from telling people what to do and taking a nap. By the time his regeneration begins, it all goes by so fast that it feels like he’s being rushed out the door. In a way…he kind of is. Due to age catching up with him, William Hartnell was forced to leave the show because his memory problems and exhaustion were getting difficult to film around. So now they had to get him out of the show for his own good, all while making one last serial as a final goodbye to this actor. However, it doesn’t change how…off his farewell feels. He’s not the triumphant hero who stopped The Cybermen and he didn’t get any final words to make his goodbye feel haunting or bittersweet. Future Doctors got this chance, even ones who decided to leave on their own accord like David Tennant or Matt Smith. It’s actually kind of sad that William Hartnel didn’t get the same treatment and that the writers would only learn their lesson for FUTURE generations. His flawed departure is the one thing that holds back what is admittedly a well-made serial.

And that’s it. That’s the last adventure with The First Doctor. But before I talk about my overall thoughts with this man, I should first discuss some other characters. Characters who are important to any Doctor no matter WHO (haha) they are…

THE COMPANIONS

Doctor Who would not be the show that it is without the companions. They’re frequently the audience surrogates, experiencing new adventures alongside The Doctor while assisting them across space and time. One thing that Chris Chibnall did correctly is point out that the companions are the true power of The Doctor and are worth talking about within the same breath. However, it DOES get a little tricky on who’s considered a companion or not. And trust me when I say it’ll get trickier as time goes on. So, for the sake of sanity, I’ll say that a companion is a recurring character who travels with The Doctor in the TARDIS and is there for more than one episode (Or serial, in this case). With those rules that I’ll probably break in the future out of the way, let’s begin with each companion as they left us.

Susan: I have…complicated feelings towards Susan. She had great chemistry within the group, did well as the wide-eyed, naive child who was excited for everything, and I was truly sad to see her go…But while my heart was sad, my ears were eternally grateful.

Yeah, as sweet a character as Susan is, she wouldn’t. Stop. F**KING. SCREAMING. Every time danger happened, she would always go, “AH! AH! GRANDFATHER! IAN! BARBARA! AH-AH!” Everytime. And when Susan was part of the group, having fun with them, being just as silly as the others, THAT’S when Susan worked. She was “The Young One,” acting as someone who the others would look after but still treat with respect as they knew Susan was capable of so much more than SCREAMING. As a member of the group, Susan worked great. As someone who could face danger…Let’s just say that my ears will be bleeding less now that she’s gone.

Ian: It’s weird that a college professor has more of a hero’s heart than the titular character of our show, but I’m not entirely complaining. Ian was a solid companion, willing to take charge for the sake of the group and having some great interactions with The Doctor. You could tell he wanted to strangle the old man, but also enjoyed The Doctor’s company as they shared a similar spirit. They both consider themselves leaders of the party and find conflict when one has an idea they believe is better than the other’s. After a while, they learn to work together and you feel that trust they have thanks to them realizing they’re basically the same kind of men who want the same kind of things. It DOES tend to feel that Ian steals the show at times, but it doesn’t change how much of an entertaining and perhaps even inspiring character Ian can be. He went through so much for The Doctor and the others, being the hero that they need and being charming as hell when doing it.

Barbara: Barbara’s sort of the character that has a well-defined relationship with everyone in the TARDIS. She’s a supportive, motherly figure to Susan and Vicki, treating them with respect while calming them down during intense times. With Ian, she’s a good friend and ONLY a friend. I’m actually glad that she was never forced into a love-interest role with him. There were so many moments where that could have been a possibility with how often those two are paired together, but it’s nice that they remained as close friends who can rely and help one another when the time comes. Not every man and woman needs to end up dating in the end. As for how Barbara is with The Doctor, where Ian and The Doctor are the same in a goal-driven level, The Doctor and Barbara are the same through an INTELLECTUAL one. They often share the same kind of thoughts and curiosity for each adventure they go on, and when they argue, you can tell it’s between two people who are of the same mind but with different opinions. It’s done well and I appreciate seeing these two interact the most. I also appreciate that Barbara stood strong in the face of danger, being just as valuable of a helping hand as the others are and not being a damsel in distress. Sure, she was like that SOMETIMES, but for the sixties this was likely the most independent a woman could get on television. Barbara was a strong character, and likely my favorite amongst the original companions.

Vicki: I was very worried that Vicki was going to turn out to be Susan 2.0, and in a lot of ways, she is. She was very much the young one who was commonly paired up with The Doctor or Barbara as she oozed with childish naivety. Even her exit was nearly identical to Susan’s, except that Susan’s was handled better because The Doctor at least said goodbye. Still, while very similar to Susan, there were some things that I did like a little more with Vicki. For one, she didn’t scream as much…thank FRICK! And two, she was a bit more proactive. Instead of screaming for Ian, Barabara, and The Doctor, Vicki found solutions herself and was frequently the one who helped save the day. I appreciate that, as it helps set her apart more from Susan and gives fans a different kind of naive character that’s endearing in her OWN way. I will say that it feels weird that The Doctor treats Vicki with more respect than his actual GRANDDAUGHTER at times, but this one isn’t screaming too often, so I don’t blame him. Vicki’s a little too much the same, but in some ways, I’d definitely say she’s a bit of an improvement, as mean as it is to admit.

Katarina: Does she count? She doesn’t really go past a single serial…Aw, screw it. She traveled in the TARDIS and helped the group for some time. I’ll say she counts.

And there’s not much to say about Katarina. She was along for the ride for such a short time, not really given a chance to stand out between the young characters like Susan or Vicki. There is this bit of naivety due to her seeing technology for the first time and mistaking The Doctor as a god, but there’s not enough time to develop that idea further and show her capabilities. I will say, though, that she gets the DARKEST exit of any companion I’ve seen. It’s sudden and unceremonious, dying because of some stupid maniac trying to escape his personal Hell. What’s worse is that it’s left to interpretation as to whether or not her death was an accident. Because she was from the distant past and had no knowledge of technology or buttons, it’s unknown if she sacrificed herself to stop the others from going back to The Daleks or because she didn’t know what button opened the door. A character that got to see the universe for the first time, thinking she was a part of something perfect, only to die in an unpredictable circumstance. She had a short amount of time, but I’m with The Doctor. I hope she found that perfection.

Steven: I. Do. NOT care for Steven. It feels like the writers were trying to make him Ian’s replacement as the heroic figure that was often at odds with The Doctor. Except that Steven is very much NOT that. He’s more like this bumbling buffoon who caused more problems as he constantly needed to be rescued by The Doctor and even Vicki at times. The very SECOND that proves how useless he could be was during his introduction when he ran to get back his teddy bear during a grueling escape from The Daleks. You COULD make the argument that the writers wanted to slowly develop Steven into a more heroic character, but there was barely any progression with him constantly being the butt of every joke. The only time he felt useful was during his last appearance, which I can appreciate. Again, they let him leave with some dignity intact and I’m grateful that he and The Doctor left on good terms. The two of them had a lot of one-on-one times with Steven having a great amount of trust towards The Doctor despite the constant jabs The Doctor gave. The Doctor admires every companion he lets tag along, and I love that it’s no different with Steven, even if I was more glad to see him gone.

Dodo: I…am incredibly indifferent towards Dodo. I don’t HATE her, I guess I could say that. She never really made my ears bleed like Susan did, but, at the same time, she wasn’t really the most useful companion. Dodo was either a damsel for The Doctor to save or someone that CAUSED a problem instead of leading to a solution. In a way, she’s more of what I expected Vicki to be: A downgrade rather than an upgrade who never really got a chance to shine as a worthy member of the group. Even Steven seemed more proactive than her, and that is a crime. And I’m pretty sure even the writers weren’t sure what to do with her either, given how they just…kicked Dodo out of the series without any proper exit. If Steven could get a proper ending, then so could Dodo. Regardless, I wouldn’t exactly say I’m going to miss her. Not too much, anyway. I didn’t mind her existence in the show, but I won’t lose sleep with her being gone. Sorry.

Ben and Polly: Yeah, might as well lump these two together. They weren’t on this run for long, and I assume they’ll be more dynamic characters when we talk about Number Two. For now, I’ll say that they’re fairly useful, saving the day with cunning and bravery. I wish Ben was a LITTLE less whiny and Polly a lot less of a damsel, but who knows? Maybe they’ll improve with The Second Doctor.

But that’s enough with the companions. Let’s finally talk about the man who started it all…

THE DOCTOR

The Doctor, no matter the iteration, is one of my favorite fictional characters. I ADORE a character who solves problems through wit, prefers not to use violence but will if pushed to their limits, and is the kindest being in the universe who will also destroy you if you hurt anyone they love. The Doctor is a being of many contradictions, who’s personality may fluctuate throughout the generations but still, at their core, is a caring being who won’t let ANYTHING stop them from doing what’s right.

…So to see The Doctor start off as this old fart who constantly complains while everyone does everything, causes problems for others, and sometimes cowardly bends to the will of enemies was a definite SHOCK to the system. The Doctor did NOT start out as the nobel hero I know them now as. It was actually kind of frustrating to see him stand off to the side while Ian took charge of everything. THIS would be the person who defeated countless enemies all over the universe? The person who sets out to save lives and regrets the ones they lost? That all started with someone who purposely trapped him and his companions on a distant planet just so they could explore? I couldn’t believe it, but thankfully the writers knew this neat little trick to storytelling: Character development.

Slowly but surely, The First Doctor does become more and more like the character I now adore. He fought Daleks after knowing how dangerous they are, weeped for the friends he had to let go, and outsmarted enemies rather than overpower them. He even gained The Doctor’s silliness and sense of humor. Just look at his grin as he scared enemies off after pretending to be a Dalek. The man relished in the chaos he brought, and it was fun to see…Except when he got giddy for being the one who caused Rome to burn down to the ground. Still have no idea what that was about.

Now, things weren’t always perfect. The First Doctor, while improved over time, still never became the heroic badass I know him NOW as, relying on his companions to do most of the work while he’s off having his own fun. Still, that’s where him being the FIRST comes into play. I can absolutely buy that it would take a few regenerations before he became The Doctor I know and love. As is, I’ll say that The First Doctor is an interesting, albeit off-putting, look into what The Doctor USED to be. It wasn’t always good, but I had my fun and I’ll miss this goofy old man.

And with that, we close off The First Doctor’s run. Most of it was fun, a lot was more dull than I expected it to be, and there were both good and bad surprises given to me through this journey into The First Doctor's adventures. It was great to finally see how this show I love started out, and it’s only the beginning from here. Tune in next time when it’s out with the old and in with the…significantly less old as we talk about The Second Doctor’s run.

[chuncao]

Chocolate

Joongdok Highschool AU

It was a Sunday morning just like usual. Yoo Joonghyuk was playing some casual games when Kim Dokja suddenly barged into his room.

“Joonghyuk-ah, are you free?”

The boy looked up at him with a face that spelled trouble. Yoo Joonghyuk could tell from his nearly 20-year experience that every time his childhood friend had that look on his face, nothing good would ever come.

“What? Didn’t I tell you to knock the door before coming in?”

Yoo Joonghyuk scowled.

“Ehe I’m sorry. Anyway, tomorrow is valentine is sooooo…”

“Can you help me make chocolate?”

Kim Dokja boy gave him puppy eyes, which he was fully aware that the other boy was weak to them. Yoo Joonghyuk pretended that his heart didn’t ache at the mention of “chocolate”. Why would someone who hated cooking as much as tomatoes like Kim Dokja suddenly want to make chocolate? There’s only one reason.

“No.”

He curtly replied. Somewhere in his heart, Yoo Joonghyuk felt… sad. He knew that his love was futile as Kim Dokja never saw him more than a friend. They had been friends since the moment they were born, their houses being right next to each other. They were friends, family and life-long companions. Their relationship was far more precious than his selfish love, which Yoo Joonghyuk wouldn’t risk it for a nearly non-existent chance of getting his feelings requited. He was content with seeing the other boy happy, even if the one standing next to him was not Yoo Joonghyuk. When the time came that Kim Dokja introduced him to his loved one, Yoo Joonghyuk would make sure to bless them with every single ounce of happiness he had.

“Aren’t you free, Joonghyuk-ah.”

The boy whined.

“No, I had other things to do.”

It was a lie. He just simply didn’t want to do it. He not having any hope for his feelings didn’t mean that he could nonchalantly teach his crush how to make chocolate for another person.

“Pretty pleaseeeeee. I wouldn’t wake up late for school anymore.”

Kim Dokja grabbed his hands and lightly shook them.

“No. What did that have to do with me anyway.”

Actually, it did. Every morning, Yoo Joonghyuk would wait for Kim Dokja so that they could go to school together, even if that meant being scolded by the teachers for arriving late.

“Please, Joonghyuk-ah. I swear I wouldn’t leave my tomatoes behind.”

“And I wouldn’t disturb you when you are studying.”

“I would sleep on my own bed when I slept over!”

Kim Dokja had a bad habit of sleeping on Yoo Joonghyuk’s bed whenever he came over, claiming that hugging the other boy helped him sleep better. Not that he minded, but it was bad for his heart, so he told Kim Dokja to stop doing so. Not that his childhood friend ever listened to him though.

“Fine. But promise me that you wouldn’t hold the knife.”

“Yay! Thank you so much Joonghyuk-ah! You are the best!”

The boy gave him a quick hug before running off to the kitchen downstair. Now alone, Yoo Joonghyuk couldn’t help but let out a big sigh. God, what should he do with his idiotic childhood friend?

—

Yoo Joonghyuk knew that Kim Dokja was a mess in a kitchen, but he wouldn’t think that the boy could get this bad. How could a person not be able to differentiate between salt and sugar??? And why did he hold the whisk like he was trying to kill someone with it??? Yoo Joonghyuk felt like his lifespan would be shortened a lot after this traumatizing cooking session with Kim Dokja.

“Joonghyuk-ah, can I add chili powder in? The color looks pretty.”

Kim Dokja, with the chili powder box in hand, asked him innocently. Something snapped in Yoo Joonghyuk’s head.

“N- I think you can. Maybe it will taste good.”

No, it would never be. But somehow, Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to mess up with whoever that was on the receiving end of Kim Dokja’s chocolate. He knew he was being a bastard, but the exhaustion from having to babysit Kim Dokja in the kitchen for the past few hours had taken over his head. Screw them, the mf who made him do this.

“What about turmeric powder? They smell good too?”

After adding a fuck ton of chili powder, Kim Dokja was now looking at the turmeric powder innocently sitting on the shelf.

“Why not?”

Yoo Joonghyuk curtly replied. And with that, the melted chocolate slowly turned into a suspicious-looking mixture.

The whole thing repeated a few times with curry powder, oregano, thyme and garlic powder being added consecutively. Every time Kim Dokja took something, Yoo Joonghyuk grimaced, silently praying for whoever had to receive this monstrosity. Not like he’s sympathetic to them though.

“Phew, done.”

Kim Dokja looked at the final product with satisfaction. Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t know how to describe it aside from the world “horrible”?

“What do you think, Joonghyuk-ah”

His friend turned to him with an anticipating expression.

“It’s… unique.”

He hesitated for a bit before replying. There’s no way he could tell the boy that whoever ate that would need to get their stomach washed immediately.

“Hehe, thanks!”

Kim Dokja beamed while slowly placed the thingy? into a box. The box was pure black with a small white ribbon on the top of the lid. Were Yoo Joonghyuk to be honest, the box was right to his taste. Simple yet elegant. But he would never be the one to receive it.

Kim Dokja must be thinking about the other person as Yoo Joonghyuk could see a blush donning his pump white cheeks. He was even humming a melody that Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t recognize. The boy looked… happy.

Yoo Joonghyuk felt his heart dropped but he chose to ignore it. Watching your crush making chocolate for another person was a weird experience, he gotta say. If he wanted to stay by Kim Dokja’s side as a friend, he probably would encounter this kind of events more and more in the future. As a result, Yoo Joonghyuk had no choice but to keep a straight face even if his mind was screaming him to confess his love already.

Before he knew it, Kim Dokja was already done with the wrapping. The boy quickly gathered his things and bid goodbye to Yoo Joonghyuk:

“Bye, Joonghyuk-ah. See you tomorrow at school.”

With that, his friend left, just like a storm that stirred up his mundane life.

—

“Yo, Joonghyuk! What’s with that face right in the morning?”

Han Sooyoung’s irritating voice entered his ears. She was wearing a shit-eating grin, one hand holding a lollipop while standing next to Yoo Sangah.

“Good morning, Joonghyuk. What’s the matter? You seem to be in a bad mood.”

The class representative, unlike the other girl, asked him with genuine concern.

“It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

He replied with a straight face. In fact, he wasn’t okay. He had already felt terrible after yesterday’s events and when he woke up today, he found out that Kim Dokja had already left for school without him. On the way to school, girls kept trying to start a conversation with him, many even holding a box of who-knew-what. He promptly ignored them all, but some just didn’t know how to give up. One girl even tried to shove a chocolate box in his hands despite his ignorant attitude. In short, Yoo Joonghyuk was feeling like shit.

“Lmao how can he be fine? Kim Dokja told me he was making chocolate for valentine this year.”

Han Sooyoung gave him a mocking smile. This girl, he would have punched her already if she wasn’t Kim Dokja’s best friend.

“Really? But… Dokja’s cooking is quite… unconventional right?”

Yoo Sangah chimed in, a worried look on her face. It was a well-known fact among their friend circle that Kim Dokja’s cooking was lethal and whoever ate them would need a hospital checkup. After all, his friends were the first one to taste his cooking.

“Well, no one wants to eat that shit anyway. Ah wait, a certain someone might be dying to eat those chocolate though~”

Thinking that he didn’t want to put up with her shenanigans anymore, Yoo Joonghyuk promptly ignored Han Sooyoung to return to his seat. He could still feel eyes on his back but he didn’t pay them any mind. His mind was occupied with the thought of who Kim Dokja was going to give his chocolate to today. Lee Seolhwa? Min Jiwon? Jang Hayoung? Or Lee Hyunsung? Whoever it was, he hoped they had a shitty day like he was.

When Yoo Joonghyuk looked into his desk’s drawer to grab a textbook out, he noticed a small box sitting in it. The box was pure black with a small ribbon attached on it. Wait… why did this box feel so familiar…

Yoo Joonghyuk quickly opened the box to see what was inside. A brown glob of unidentified matters met his eyes, the very one that he had just seen Kim Dokja make yesterday. Beside the brown glob was a note with a handwriting that he couldn’t be more familiar with:

“Happy valentine, my sunfish! Would you be my boyfriend?”

Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t know if he should laugh or cry. Well, if becoming Kim Dokja’s boyfriend meant that he had to pay a visit to the hospital then he would gladly do so a million times again.