#egads 😳😳😳

[nulltune]

…I could put on airs like that, but with you it’s no good. You’re a typical, generic savior-type protagonist. Loved by the readers, loved by the characters, loved even by the plot. Boring. Short cuts aren’t my style. I can’t talk about you, and you don’t have enough value. 

this evaluation of hakuno's character (thanks hans christian andersen) and titles and roles............ really reminds me of the other side of the coin for hakuno's dilemma with being a nameless nobody– losing sight of yourself from taking on too many roles and names 🫠 it's pretty interesting though cuz i can see shades of it with hakuno too ! albeit in a very different way..

real quick tho YES I KNOW A LOT OF THIS IS JUST BECAUSE OF SELF INSERT PROTAG REASONS (DEROGATORY) 🥹 but hakuno deserves better than that!!! so i prefer 2 look at it in a different way 4 my hakuno 🫶

"hakuno" doesn't know herself, hakuno is useless, but she can do her best to fulfill whatever's expected from a role like the "leader" or "hero" that a situation might call for. hakuno can't find value in herself, so she tries to get it from others and fulfilling what they want and what they need. she's good at following guidelines for what's expected from others but lacks that for herself as an individual, if that makes sense.

it's a very integral part of hakuno's character! even when she doesn't know herself or understand how she feels, she's always thinking of others and acting with them in mind. but i gotta make it clear that she's no actor!! she's just stepping up to the job in her own way. i like 2 think of it as something like water filling the shape of the glass it's put into.

doing that and taking up whatever role she has to comes from necessity rather than hakuno wanting to be something bigger than herself. hakuno sees a problem that only she can fix, and is willing to do a lot in order to fix it. (<- what we see in canon too from fate/extra when she acts in the way of a "martyr" and in ccc when she takes on the role of being "president") whether she likes it or not isn't something she thinks about, but on a deep down, it's really just something she takes on to make up for her self-perceived flaws.

trying to fit into these roles could be an attempt to find herself too in a way..... hakuno's always been concerned about the meaning and purpose of her life, so she could try to find her own self worth in this way. she'll always think of it as titles that don't suit her though :,) cough impostor syndrome cough. i can imagine her trying become someone "worthy" of it, but she'll still feel undeserving in the end for one reason or another. it never feels enough, it never feels right, there's always going to be a sense of disconnect for her.

I can’t speak of something that isn’t there. Hakuno Kishinami. You still have nothing at all.

it's because she still doesn't know who she is </3 the lack of a personal identity that is so essential to being a person is something that just can't be fixed in this way. taking up roles and living up to others' expectations could maybe provide a temporary happiness or gratification for hakuno (via gaining affection and praise through being useful because that's something she's never had), but at the end of the day hakuno won't be satisfied with that. it's a shallow reasoning and even if she obtained the love she may have desired, it'd feel misplaced because it's a love that she got for being something that she feels like she isn't.

remember– all hakuno ever wanted was to live. she's a really simple gal! i'd say that at the moment, she's just grateful to have her basic survival needs met and still wants to find herself and become her own person, but she doesn't have any grand goals or ambitions. though she might not realize it herself, what she really wants is just a normal life tbh :,) live a normal life, die a normal death and afterwards, she'd want to be remembered as "hakuno kishinami" rather than a "hero" or "savior" or "protagonist" or any other grandiose title or role

[nulltune]

"Not even a 'How are you, Kishinami-san?' or 'I missed you, Kishinami-san 🥺', huh..." How did she say that emoji...? "I guess I deserve that."

"To answer your question, though— Mm. You're still a Rambutaniwa-san."

"Sorry if that upsets you...?"

It's just the truth. To her.

' kishinami-san ... ' it's really been a while , huh ? after all this time ...

' d ... do you still think i look like a rambutan --- ? ' // @nulltune

[andreabandrea]

me: and this is a mr beast burger

medieval peasant: egad... what manner of foul creature is a "mister beast" 😳

[wolven-maw]

EGADS tomorrow is 3 years on HRT 😳

[jils-things]

skips in hello hi jil i'd love to talk abt them im so sorryy i've been thinking abt them too much teehee ty soso much for letting me gush abt my loves eek ♡ random bit of lore but ? marianne moves and when she's getting her trainer card changed over at the lab sina mentions they've been studying fairy types and since it's a ' new phenomena ' marianne goes ' what ? ' - she has . . no clue what that is months later when marianne's having catchup w augustine abt data on mega n stuff she mentions she loves flowers and has a flower press handed down from her grandma from galar but hasn't had a chance to go out and do anything yet since she came to kalos - kind of like a side note - and he goes ' oh i'm actually double checking this field work sina and dexio did out on route 4 - bunch of flowers there do you want to come ? ' and she's super shy but says sure , i wanna see what fairy types are anyway i still don't really know ? ( she's not a dex holder so she has like no way of . . . being that knowledgable ? ) they go there and she's like v nervous because he's just going over notes and looking through his tablet or whatever but encourages her to go ( vulnerability ? huge lore theme ) and she starts collecting flowers and opens her press and he's like ' oh so this is what you do ? ' and she's so nervous and is like ' yeah . . v_v ' and he's basically completely forgotten abt what he's there for bc he's just v interested in people anyway and his main focus / passion is mega not typing matchups so starts asking her abt flowers and she's so so happy to talk abt flower language and turns out he knows it too ( he loves lavender it turns out since - although its different in kalos ( ' french ' lavender ) it reminds him of home + he also has fond memories of floaroma back in sinnoh so he really really likes flowers ) and they sit there talking about ' i think a persons favourite flower reveals a lot abt them ' and it's one of their first like , one on one moments thats not at a cafe or at the lab and she has this cute interaction w the flabebe obv bc they ride on flowers ? she's totally smitten w them and he's like ' oh yeah fairy type ! look - it's a bit like you ' ok thank you thank you so sorry this was super long forgive mee . . i should be asleep hehe ; bye bye + niniii ! ( priv or not up to you ! )

CHARM HEWWO... omg dude im so... i just learned the deeper meaning of marianne and her flowers this is so.... homaGAD.... NONO IM SO SPEECHLESS IN A WAY THAT IM JUST AMAZED HOW IT PLAYED OUT.... what was supposed to be a little visit to see the fairy types ended up being sycamore slowly learning more about this kind lady and her little interest with flowers... and given how he's reminded of the flowers in sinnoh OHHGFO IT JUST PIECES TOGETHER NICELY IM SOOO EEEEEE 💚💚💚 he even FORGOT what were they here for (silly man.. silly silly)

i appreciate people who are more fascinated in the person they're talking to its just shows they're super attentive and im sure this little flower fact will come in handy for him when he wants to... dare i say, impress her??? 🤭 egads... do you think at one point in their relationship she makes a pressed flower plate or something for him??? or maybe the other way around???? 😳 me brain wanderin oopsie....

UEUEUEUE I LOVE FLABEBES SO MUCH (i had one in my xy gameplay and im. very overprotective of it) I LOVE SEEIN THEM INCORPORATED IN THEIR WIDDLE LOVE STORY EHRHRHHEHRD sycamore would absolutely just... watch her with a flabebe in silence and realize how similar they are... in beauty and gentleness wiwiwiw (also now it just hits harder for me cuz i remember one of the sycamari comms you shared had flabebes in it im hrujrururr 🥺🥺🥺🥺)

[dr-gaytorius]

I seem to have somehow accidentally really charmed laezel and kind of normal amount of charmed shadowheart, one seeming somewhat less impossible of a prospect, but laezel was... Well. Um she was very forward lol. I thought she didn't even like me. The ball of a sudden she's just right out the gates no warning no preface nothing just like "I need to fuck you SO badly oh my God" I mean my face when she said i "drove [her] to madness." like 😳 are you sure???? Are you sure about that??? On one hand I did kill an entire village of goblins but on the other hand of course killing turns her on. Honestly everyone want me but laezel was just so VERY forward lol. Like egads my liege. She was like "too bad your gonna fuck that half elf goth chick but your gonna WISH it were me!! SAD! oh well there's astarion" jdhckefifjsjwcj?? I'm fucking reeling. My god. Just talking to her is like a roller coaster I bet she fucks like crazy. I'd need hospitalization I'm sure if it

And astarion was sooo mean to my little guy he literally was like "ur disgusting lol. Go on now" and was quite rude!! I didn't even ask!! Like girls... please calm down. All because I saved the day. God forbid. Y'all are all crazy. I need to lay down I need help

[why-cant-i-be-loud]

It's amazing what you'll find on the other side of your fear.

Wow. Who knew!���� It’s amazing how much peace can be found on the other side of fear. I have never felt such freedom. Ever. How odd. How wonderful…*hugs self*. The other day, I went through theeeeeeeeeee last of my savings. Down to my last hundred bucks. Yikes! Egads! At first, I felt…*shrug*. Then, I just let myself feel: Sad. Mad. Embarrassed. Helpless. Angry. Ambushed. Afraid. Then,…

[alexibeeart]

Get attacked!! 🏴‍☠️💜✨🌈SEND THIS TO OTHER BLOGGERS YOU THINK ARE WONDERFUL. KEEP THE GAME GOING🌈✨💜🏴‍☠️

oh good heavens!!!! attacked???! in mine own inbox!!!!! egads!!!!! 💕💕😳🥰😭💖 ABANDON SHIP!!!!!

[usamey]

f/o: h-

me:

[nulltune]

❛   to have the free time do whatever you want ...  that is nice,  isn't it ... ?   ❜       she speaks slowly,  hesitantly,  the words parroted from another  —  that's why you should buy yourself something nice,  kishinami !  —  a coworker who'd said that as a preface before giving her a certain coupon.  70% off for any purchase made before the end of the month from this specific gaming store.  very generous.  why such a gift would be given to her of all people was unknown to her,  but hakuno couldn't find it in herself to refuse that goodwill. 

the least she could do is make use of this gift,  and maybe then she'd even understand why ...  though with her lack of gaming knowledge,  she'd sought out the aid of one itaru chigasaki for this purpose.

❛   there are so many options to choose from,    ❜      noted under her breath,  her behavior is more akin to traversing through uncharted waters rather than anything more lighthearted.  ( that coworker's intent was to have her loosen up,  but ironically enough,  she's taking that request much too seriously .. )       ❛   are these sorted by genre ?   ❜       head canting slightly,  doe eyes turn to look at chigasaki.  while her face remains as stoic as ever,  she looked upon him with a kind of earnestness.  after all,  he is something like a pillar of wisdom and guidance in this store .. !

@possideo  🎮💖

[nulltune]

“  whatever floats your boat.  ” (from juggler!)

prompt,   open !    @tokushuei  ♡

❛   what a lukewarm response ...   ❜      the hypocrisy seems to be lost on her,  unaware of her usual detached manner of speaking  /  being,  and much more occupied with the topic at hand.  what was she supposed to make of that anyway ... ?   a simple phrase was not so simple to her,  who struggled to comprehend the deeper meaning of such a saying.  though,  she supposed it was only fair  —  a peculiar question from her would warrant a peculiar answer from him.

q.   shall we ride—  pedal a pedal boat ? a.   whatever floats your boat.

... well.  given this context,  it may be easier to take the words at a face value.  it would also be safe to assume that he'd given an agreement to her very random and spontaneous suggestion,  albeit in a way that wasn't quite ideal.  it felt like ...  she was some child dragging along her uncle for a little boat trip ...  tch !    

❛   our boat,  hebi - tan.  this will be a collaborative effort.   ❜      soft voice is extra firm as she says that little correction.  straightening an already perfect posture,  her chin lifts as though an effort to exert some form of dominance,  doe eyes glance between the man and the pretty ridiculous yellow duck - motif pedal boat.     ❛   i hope you do not skimp out on leg day.   ❜      what a terrible combo of slang she's heard  +  an attempt at a joke !

[nulltune]

looking thru old drawings and <3 it is so clear that i am da most self-indulgent binch ever egad WEHHH I FOUND A COUPLE OF HAKUNOS THAT I STILL RLLY LIKE .. 🥹🫶

Naut showing the full pic for the first one bc i can't with drawing bodies 💀 so i cropped it teehee <3 BUT YEA WHEN CROPPED I AM NOW for some reason simply imagining her just poking or squishing someone's cheeks. Ahaha what if it was your muse, ahaha? 😳👉👈 all while being vaguely >:T like that

[nulltune]

me, with my stamp raised and ready here because 1). JOKE'S ON U bc egad i luv writing with an amazing writer 🥰😳✨️ and 2). i am not immune to having my fav moon lady interact with all these super fun and interesting muses!!!!!!! this isn't a dare, this is a Gift and i am just- grabby hands, grabby hands

but also yea this doubles as a kinda psa because tbh even if i know nothing abt a muse (my untrendy ass does Not know anything these days istg 💀), i am always eager 2 know more >:3c also r u kidding me i simply cannot resist good characterisation + writing !!!! and if u say u want to have em interact with my dearest hakuno? *GOES INTO BEAST MODE* /pos

[nulltune]

color scheme update 4 my hakuno !! 🫡 it sounds a lil silly at first but!!!!! actually comes with a decent amount of Thoughts(TM) because egad the grip this girl has on me is insane . she turns me into an english teacher talking abt blue curtains fr

i talked about this with tsun (ty tsun dearest 🫶) so shoutout to him for bringing up many good points about this!! like how having hakuno being described in food terms gives her a very home-y comforting feeling which contrasts with her more aloof and rational personality /though she does become warmer with character development ✨️

makes me also think about sweets in particular too (duh) anfmd how even though they Are nice, they lack any nutritional value and won't fill your stomach up. reminds me of hakuno who wants to find love and connection but still feels so empty and lacking </3 (this is also a really fitting concept outside of colors or w/e because hakuno does like candy !)

not 2 mention how too much sweets is detrimental to your health ...... just like hakuno who (really has nothing good intentions but) often takes things to the extreme (e.g. selfless to the point of self destruction, she's a very "ride or die" kind of person, etc)

tsun also brought up how it reminded him of fairy tales (being desirable and appealing in that ✨️magical✨️ kind of way; and i like to think that hakuno looks very ethereal) (which is also nice because that contrasts with hakuno's desires to just be a normal human) and witch's house from hansel and gretel with how it looks very cute and sweet but the inside is . A Lot

hakuno's not blatantly deceptive like that thoo!!!! tsun (gigabrain) says it best with how hakuno's not the witch, she's more like the empty house, a waiting table. the idea of food comes here again too because hakuno's a very giving person 🥺 there's a lot she wants to give !!

OOOOHH and the sweets thing can come here ^ again too tho. it's how that sweet thing ultimately lacks any real substance </3

hakuno being described as like a doll from a fairy tale would be a really neat + fitting description for her tooo because 1. H..Hakuno Pretty,, 😳 bUT ALSO 2. it gives her this very otherworldly (not human) feel ..... which is all nice and pretty but Distant in a way

that's also why i like the way extra materials use 美形 (bikei) to describe hakuno because while it does translate to "beauty", the direct translation would be "beautiful form/shape". it could be unintentional word choice, but'd like to think it's because hakuno is more like object to be admired (here's that doll motif again !!!) than a legitimate person, if that makes sense :thonk:

since we're on this topic anyway-- my hakuno's hair turns from brown to white at the tips. it's inspired by what happens to sakura in ccc canon! a symptom of "deteoration"/"corrosion" due to being shaken up by an unidentified emotion-value (love) ... so methinks hakuno should get it too as someone who's actively trying to better find herself and understand her emotions and humanity 💖 (her hair's not gonna turn fully white, but i just think it'd be a neat reference)

it's a stretch ngl but it could also be neat if the white and curled tips of her hair gave the impression of seafoam maybe............. it rlly would suit her name toooo (白野岸波 meaning "white fields, shore waves")

[why-cant-i-be-loud]

Egads, I don't know how.

Egads! Yikes! Geezzz! I have stumbled on a frustratingly frustrating truth… I don’t know how! 😳 I don’t know HOW to: Rest. For me. Dream. For me. Hope. For me. Not really. I’m used to ALWAYS going. For others. Never for me. I’ve never been given a turn. Always told to do for others. Work for others. Try for others. I’m not complaining. I love doing for others. Yet, God has told me…

[why-cant-i-be-loud]

55 stole my confidence. I snatched it back.

Turning 55 seemed to steal my confidence. I have spent seemingly every day since snatching it back! Ha! Give it here!!🤯😳 ?? Where o where has my confidence gone 🎶?! 55 has: Turned my fingers clumsy. Minced my stomach into endless nerves. Squashed my know how whilst turning it into know nothing. Yikes! Egads! Whew! I must admit I AM having fun getting to know me confidence free. Now, I…