#edward teach ass like a peach | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

warriordreamer95 · 5 years ago

Text

HUGE list of info we’ve learned from the After The Fall Novel

(Courtesy of NeoVelociraptorDelta from RWBY wiki for making this list. You’re incredible!) SPOILERS AHEAD, DON’T CLICK IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW

Grimm

Dromedon are camel like Grimm that can spit venom (p.150). Jackalopes are huge four-legged beasts with black fur, branching red and white antlers, and powerful hind legs (p.150). Ziraphs are three headed Grimm that resemble a giraffe. Their bodies are covered in red spots that bear resemblances to a leopard, and each head has two horns. The Ziraph is described as five stories tall, and has razor-like plates on their (four) legs (p.151). Ravagers are small bat-like Grimm, that are described as dark and leathery, and are uglier than Nevermores (p.69). A visual will be provided by RWBY Amity Arena soon, if datamines are to be believed. A Blind Worm is an enormous worm-like Grimm with a singular red eye. These Worms are easily as big as Flatback Sliders, but are built to be far faster when traveling in sands. Their defenses include hooks and pitons for teeth and acidic blood (p.263). King Taijitu are also native to Vacuo

Carmine Esclados and Bertilak Celadon Carmine and Bertilak are veteran Huntsmen who work for an unknown employer that has hired them to traffic people with powerful Semblances for an unknown motive. In After the Fall, the duo targets Gus and Edward Caspian, having met them in Vale and followed them to the Felspar settlement Vacuo (p.28). They are detained and arrested by team CFVY. Both Carmine and Bertilak are originally from Shade Academy (p.32). Bertilak Celadon Bertilak is a tall, broad, and muscular man with a green mohawk and matching goatee. He sports a brown, hooded cloak, a green chestplate, and a black tunic. Bertilak has a long scar along his right forearm, and uses a large chained mace (p.31). He is 6’6” (p.215). He is racist towards Faunus. He apparently barely graduated from the Academy (p.31), and is considered an ass, as Fox put (p.108). Celadon’s Semblance is generating heat, he can use it to form walls of sand and to cause enemies to be exhausted (p.137). Bertalik faces off against Fox Alistair and Edward Caspian in a sandstorm, and is subsequently defeated. His weapon is destroyed. Carmine Esclados Carmine hails from the Kingdom of Atlas, though she claims she chose to study in Shade Academy due to a disdain towards Atlas Academy’s uniforms (p.35). Her clothes are from Mistral (p.33). Carmine’s Semblance is Telekinesis, which she frequently uses to create localized weather patterns and to manipulate her weapons (p.254). Additionally, Carmine has used her Semblance to dig tunnels through sand in order to escape peril. Carmine is stated to have less mastery over her Semblance than Glynda Goodwitch. She is defeated by Yatsuhashi Daichi, Velvet Scarlatina, and Coco Adel.

Wildlife Vacuan wildlife includes, but is not limited to: Geckos Mole crabs; massive crab-like creatures that move in herds and bury themselves in the sand. Their blood is described as a clear liquid, and their bodies contain water that is almost black in color. Mole crabs are considered a delicacy in Vacuo, and are very rarely killed due to how dangerous they are. Flatback sliders; giant turtles that average at 100ft of height and swim through Vacuan deserts. Sliders have terrible vision, and are considered a sign of good luck when spotted. They are not Grimm (p.204). Food in Remnant Mistral is the kingdom with the most spices in all of Remnant (p.36). Vacuan food includes: Cactus leaves, coffee, crab burgers, crab steak, crab cake, crab rangoon, fried crevice worms, cave beetles (toasted), desert lotus tea, cactus tea, gecko cake (p.30), bat stew, ale, flatbread (p.37), breadfruit (p.79) Sand is jokingly referred to as the “local spice” of Vacuo as it can’t be fully removed when preparing food. Shade Academy Notes Graduates: Carmine Esclados and Bertalik Celadon Headmaster: Theodore (p.33) Professor: Rumpole (p.19)

Beacon Academy Notes Initiation For CFVY’s initiation, the characters were hurled into the Emerald Forest much like in Volume 1. The Relics they were assigned to obtain were small stone tablets with playing card symbols etched onto them. Coco obtained the Joker Fox took the King of Hearts Velvet took the Queen of Hearts All upperclassmen watch the initiation live from Beacon, and judge newcomers based on their performances. Professors and Classes Ann Greene - Stealth and Security (p.80) Thumbelina Peach - Plant Science (p.269) Peter Port - Military Strategy (p.269) Harold Mulberry - Weapon Crafting and Upkeep (p.269) Bartholomew Oobleck - Legends of Remnant (p.269) Glynda Goodwitch - Combat Training (p.269) Ozpin does not teach any classes. The clockwork in Oz’s office is meant to symbolize how rules are crucial to keep things moving (at least to some extent; p.245) Standard Schedule at Beacon: 7:30am - Breakfast 8am - class 9:45am - class 11:15am - class 12:30pm - lunch 1:30pm - class 2:15pm - class 4pm - class 5pm - self-directed sparring 6pm - dinner Beacon sends students on missions more often than other Academies, and gives students more one on one time with professionals (p.270)

Pharos Academy Pharos is a combat school in Vale. Coco and Velvet attended Pharos. They knew of each other but weren’t friends then. Coco developed a reputation for being a heartbreaker and record setter. Vega Bleu is a friend of Velvet who also went to Pharos, but chose to go to Atlas. He wields a pair of arm-mounted grappling hooks (p.52)

Vacuo Notes Popular Vacuan tourist gift shop t-shirts include: “Vacuo: The Wrong Place at the Wrong Time” and “A Terrible Place to Visit, but You Wouldn’t Want to Live Here” (p.1) Vacuan fashion: simple, light-colored tunics and linen cloaks/head coverings (p.15) Vacuo has a survival of the fittest lifestyle, and strength/survivability makes you well liked (p.15) Vacuan settlements/tribes include: Tuff, destroyed by Grimm Oscuro Coquina Kenyte (partially destroyed by a giant sinkhole) Schist (destroyed by Grimm) Feldspar It’s built out of several tents, trucks/vans, and adobe homes without and defenses Has a support CCT tower Vacuan deserts are windy, thus making it extremely hard to track people in the sandy environment (p.23) Aloe is a common sunscreen in Vacuo The saying ‘I’ll take a rain check’ means the same as ‘when pigs fly’ in Vacuo Vacuan terms: Misery’s Kiss (sunstroke), Lasting Regret (food poisoning), Sudden Demise (giant sinkholes; p. 78).

Edward and August ‘Gus’ Caspian Edward is a slender, old man at 71 years of age with silver hair tied into a ponytail and a stubble. He is a former Huntsman, which is surprising because most Huntsmen don’t live long. His weapon is a small buckler shield with a metal blade (p.81) and a gun function (p.179). Edward’s Semblance is blocking other people’s Semblances. Gus has the Semblance of amplifying emotions, only he can’t control it. He kept this a secret from others (p.130). He has no interest in being a Huntsman, unlike his grandfather, Edward. August is roughly eleven or twelve. The Caspians were targeted by Carmine, Bertalik, and their unknown boss because of their powerful Semblances.

CFVY and Other Teams CFVY and RWBY became friends shortly after the latter team was formed. Ruby seems to be close to Coco, Velvet and Fox. Both teams respect each other due to their respective hotshot reputations. The two teams lost touch after the Fall of Beacon. CFVY and Neptune/Sun were friends. They meet each other in the Epilogue of the book in the settlement of Coquina, where Sun informs the team about the events at the Battle of Haven, meaning After the Fall takes place right at the start of Volume 6. Velvet notes that Sun doesn’t seem like he wants to stay in Shade for long.

The Battle and Fall of Beacon Velvet observed team ABRN easily defeat a Death Stalker during the Battle of Beacon Roy Stallion was killed after being carried off by a Nevermore, the rest of team BRNZ is missing, presumed to be dead. Glynda set up her office in a library after the Fall of Beacon, and is operating the reconstruction of Vale. Team CFVY does not trust the Kingdom of Atlas following the Fall. Beringels were present at the Fall of Beacon.

Team CFVY’s Missions CFVY’s mission in the present day was to defend the settlement of Gossan due to a Grimm outbreak after they received a distress call. They found the settlement had been destroyed, and aided the survivors in reaching the settlement of Feldspar. After Feldspar was invaded by Grimm, the team successfully lead the nomads to Coquina without any casualties. They uncovered Carmine and Bertalik’s plan to traffic people, and arrested the two. CFVY’s Mt. Glenn mission was considered an outright failure. The team was sent to a small settlement called Lower Cairn near Mt. Glenn due to a distress call. There, they found the settlement was outright flattened, which was incredibly outside the Grimm’s MO. CFVY found a family of six hiding in a cave near the ruins, and attempted to rescue them. To their horror, the father was killed by an Ursa, and the rest of the family fled back to the cave. The cave was then flattened by a Goliath that appeared, causing CFVY to retreat. The mission lasted ten days and was supervised by Professor Port, CFVY believes Ozpin overestimated their team. In V2, Velvet lies to team RWBY about their mission, partially due to shock and in part to not frighten the first years, given they were leaving off on their own missions shortly.

Ada Ada, or an “Accessibility Dialogue Assistant” is an earbud device intended to aid people with disabilities. It is designed to send pulses to distinguish the nearby environment, and is activated through voice control (p.46). Ada has a compass function(p. 176), as well as a battle mode called the Cyrano Protocol, which identifies weapons and weaknesses. The entire Ada system adapts to fit the user over time (p.178).

Miscellaneous Pig snouts are a confirmed Faunus trait (p.30) Pumpkin Pete is also a Looney Tunes-esque cartoon in addition to the cereal brand (p.12) Curry Up is one of the restaurants at Vale (p.239) Ruby made her V1 outfit herself with roughly 20 Lien (p.112) Coco and Oz once had a talk much like Ruby and Oz did in V1 (p. 117) Fox and Yatsuhashi confronted Weiss about her attitude in V1, shortly after team RWBY was formed (p. 121) More books in Remnant: The Boy Who Fell from the Sky (p.122), My Sweet Samurai, and Hidden Remnant (p.161). ‘Catnap’ is an offensive term when talking about cat Faunus (p.161).

Fox Alistair Fox’s Semblance is that of telepathy. He can send message to people’s minds to convey his thoughts, and he can sense when people are close by. Fox’s Semblance is more precise if people are close by. When using it, other people feel as though they are being watched by something. He is originally from the Vacuan tribe of Kenyte, where he was considered a frail boy by his parents and peers. His parents were killed when a part of the settlement was destroyed in a sinkhole, resulting in him being taken care of by the tribe in a communal fashion. Fox was trained to fight by his honorary uncle, Copper, as he was the one person who didn’t view Alistair as frail. Copper was eventually killed by the tribe for training him as a punishment. Because of this, Fox decided to turn to Vale with the goal of protecting others who couldn’t protect themselves. Fox’s weapons are called Sharp Retribution.

Yatsuhashi Daichi Yatsuhashi’s Semblance allows him to wipe other people’s memories when he touches them. He can permanently wipe “easy memories,” which are trivial in nature, and temporarily wipe important memories, which return on an equal basis as to how they were wiped (so, if he were to wipe a day, then the person regains the memory the next day). Yatsu uses the Semblance sparingly, only wiping seconds at a time. Yatsuhashi was born in the city of Mistral, where he lived with his parents, grandfather, and his sister, Hiyoko. At the age of eight, he discovered his Semblance, and being a problem child, decided to use it to his advantage. However, this took a turn when, in a fit of jealousy, he wiped his mother’s memory of his sister for a day. Yatsuhashi was traumatized by this, and took care of Hiyoko while he waited for his mother’s memory to return. Once they did, he came clean to his parents about discovering his Semblance, to which his parents told him to never use the Semblance again. However, his grandfather suggested that he went to Beacon to master it to use his ability for good. Yatsu’s greatsword is called Fulcrum.

Coco Adel Coco’s Semblance, simply called Hype, allows her to use her Aura to increase the effects and power of Dust. She uses this to power the effect of her gatling gun’s bullets, thus explaining her power level in Volume 2. Additionally, Fox notes Coco has a large amount of Aura. She is native to Vale, and studied in Pharos, having developed a reputation as a heartbreaker and a record setter. Coco notes Ozpin reminds her of her younger brother. She admires Glynda’s leadership and tries to replicate that when talking to her team and when encouraging Ruby Rose. She designed her gatling gun, Gianduja, herself.

Velvet Scarlatina Velvet’s Semblance is Photographic Memory, it allows her to easily learn skills that would otherwise take years to master. Velvet, like Coco, is from Vale and studied in Pharos. At her time in the school, tormentors from Mistral frequently bullied her, causing Velvet to gain a deep seeded hatred for the Kingdom. She also dislikes Vacuo, mainly because it’s simply not as comfortable as Vale was to her. Velvet is sassy when with her team in comparison to her usual shyness around others. Her camera is called Anesidora.

Slate Slate is an old woman with spiky grey hair and what is described as a leathery face. She is the leader of Gossan nomadic tribe, and the former mayor of Tuff (where the tribe was originally settled), which had recently been destroyed by a Grimm outbreak (p.14). Slate is highly respected as a leader, gaining the trust of the entire nomadic tribe and team CFVY.

#RWBY #After The Fall

78 notes · View notes

onomatophia · 6 years ago

Text

title: to all the ninjas i've loved before (to all the boys i’ve loved before au) summary: sakura's five love letters that she's written long ago somehow got sent to her intended recipients one day and there is only so much she can do to save herself from embarrassing and awkward situations. notes: my girl sakura is bisexual in this au. this is pretty much OOC, i guess. :D

—

"sakura, i didn't live in a cave when we were fifteen. and i don't even know who edward cullen is," sasuke proclaimed as he approached her.

they had just finished their training for the day and she was busily arranging her things in her small pack so she could finally go home, take a bath, and continue binge-watching that medical drama she's been addicted to these past few days, when her teammate suddenly approached her and started saying weird things to her. now that she thinks about it, he's been acting weird around them since morning.

she wrinkled her forehead in confusion and looked up at him, "okay? and?"

"i also don't eat virgin girls for breakfast. seriously, what exactly do you think of me?" he looks so insulted as he said that.

"what," sakura started, "what are you talking about."

"well you sent me a letter saying mean and nice things about me this morning and-”

"what letter?!" she cut him off and her heart started hammering in her ribcage. she didn't write him any letter at all.

okay well, she did. but that was like, ages ago and it's impossible for it to reach him.

but then he pulled out a blue envelope from his own small pack and waved it in front of her.

oh. my. god. this is so not happening!

blood drained from her face and her eyes went wide as saucers, "oh my god. oh my god. please tell me this isn't real. this is a nightmare, right? oh my god." sasuke pinched her in the cheek. "ow! what'd you do that for?" she scowled at him and swatted his hand away.

he just rolled his eyes at her, "look, sakura. i'm flattered and i know you always have a thing for me but i don't think i'm in the right place to be dating anybody just yet."

having your family massacred and your brother to be the culprit, having to sever all ties with your friends and leave the village that was once your home to pursue your brother and avenge your dead family only to find out that everything you fought for and believed in is a lie, having to almost kill his said friends, and just having to experience all the horrible things in your life before you even reach 20 kind of messes up your head.

sakura just smacked him in the chest in a joking way, which sent sasuke backwards a few paces away from her because sakura doesn't really realize how strong she can be sometimes that even in a jest, she can really break some bones. she laughed awkwardly, "ha ha ha. you know that i wrote that when i was like, fifteen and stupid, right? i even forgot i wrote it in the first place. so can we just be, like, cool about it and forget this ever happened?" she asked desperately.

sasuke looked at for a moment, "okay," and because he's a bit of a jerk, he smirks, "i'm still going to keep this letter though, so i can have some sort of a leverage against you."

if uchiha sasuke were a smart person, he knew that he shouldn't mess with sakura's temper especially when she's upset because he'd only end up having his ribs broken. but uchiha sasuke is sometimes dumb so he chooses to mess with haruno sakura and end up having his ribs broken as she wrestled away the letter from his hand.

—

dear (sasuke-kun) uchiha sasuke,

you think you're so cool and perfect going around villages with that duck butt shaped hair of yours and that smoldering obsidian eyes and that super sexy low voice??? well guess what??? you're right.

i don't even know why i loved liked you, you jerk. i mean you're always mean, not just to me but to everyone. you're super rude and have no manners, even to our sensei. your words really hurt, you know. like sword-stabbing-right-through-the-chest-and-having-it-twisted-repeatedly hurt. but of course you don't realize that because you don't give a single flying fuck about everyone around you.

also?? you left me knocked out on a cold hard bench in the middle of the night. i still have to kick your ass for doing that to me, you edward cullen wannabe. god you suck so much, i hate you.

but then i remember a boy opening his heart to a very annoying pink haired girl who keeps asking him for dates, a loud mouthed blond idiot who stuffs his face with ramen, and a very lame perverted masked sensei who's always late at everything. i remember a boy accepting naruto as he is and not viewing him as a curse as the whole village did. i remember a boy who shared lunches with that knucleheaded ninja at the end of the bell test. i remember a boy who went along with naruto's silly antics of trying to find out what's behind the mask of kaka-sensei. i remember a boy who loves tomatoes more than he'd like to admit and who pets stray cats when he thinks no one's looking. i remember a boy who complimented me on my strength and intelligence as a ninja. i remember a boy who almost went on rampage against the people who hurt me, who listened to me when i stopped him. i remember a boy who stood in front of me countless of times to protect me.

i remember that once upon a time, maybe, that boy smiled and laughed before everything. so i guess it kind of makes sense why i loved liked you, after all. you're alright, sasuke. and i hope you remember that boy too. i hope you remember that for sometime, you were just a boy. a boy who had friends who will go to the ends of the world to save you from the darkness and from yourself. you still do.

i don't know the feeling of having lost people who are dear to me, how much pain you must be going through, and i can't even imagine it, but i at least know what it is to love because i have you, naruto, kaka-sensei, ino, lady tsunade and my family. so i can understand your want, your need to avenge your family. because that desire for revenge, for justice, can only come from love. i only hope that it doesn't consume you, sasuke.

i'm 15 now and you left and you hurt me and naruto and kaka-sensei and it doesn't make sense why i'm still hoping for you to come back, look at me at least once and acknowledge my presence. it's stupid. i guess i'm writing this letter to come to terms with the fact that you may never return my feelings and i will have to try to get over you now. but this doesn't mean that i'll give up on you. no matter what, sasuke, i will always love and fight for you. to me, you will always be that handsome, chicken-haired boy with a fragile heart.

and honestly what are you even doing around nowadays? i bet you live in a super damp cave and brood there all day long with bodies of virgin ladies piled up at the back because you eat their hearts for breakfast and bathe on their blood. i mean is that how your skin looks so soft?? also, what is that creepy snake man even teaching you?? a ridiculous fashion sense?? like seriously, your outfit is just downright ridiculous it put naruto's eyesore of an orange jumpsuit to shame.

i swear to god, once we manage to drag your stupid ass back to konoha, naruto and kaka-sensei and i will pester you so much you will regret having this angsty emo phase of your life.

yours sincerely, haruno sakura —

sakura all but ran back to her apartment as fast as she could after that embarrassing conversation with sasuke and almost turned her whole apartment upside down when she couldn't find the other four letters she kept in a shoebox hidden underneath her bed.

this is it, thought sakura. this is how she dies, not even in the middle of battle, but of shame and stripped of all her remaining dignity.

or maybe it’s not too late. she can leave the village, start a new life somewhere, change her name and sell apples for a living.

she couldn't even fathom how the letters got out when suddenly a blonde loud mouthed best friend came to mind. ino. of course. she gritted her teeth as she promised herself to extract revenge on her best friend the moment she finds her.

the next day, sakura searched every rooms in the hospital for a certain yamanaka ino only to find out that she just left today for a mission and will be gone for three days. she so totally planned this!

she just left a patient's room when a familiar voice suddenly called her name and made her groan inwardly in shame because she knows what's about to happen.

"sakura-san," neji greeted as he approached her.

sakura turned to him and noticed that he was holding a peach colored envelope in his right hand and suddenly regretted even coming out of her apartment. she should have just stayed in until she became a rotting corpse instead of subjecting herself into yet another embarrassing situation.

they're standing in the hallway, a few feet apart, and surrounded by a thick cloud of awkwardness.

"neji-kun!" she greeted, looking constipated.

neji looks confused, "sakura-san, i've been searching for you everywhere yesterday but you seem nowhere to be found. i just want to ask, what exactly is this?" he asked as he held up the love letter she wrote for him.

dear neji-kun, i think you're one of the finest men that ever lived. you're so sophisticated, your eyes are so captivating, your voice so commanding, your body toned, you always move with grace and elegance that i can only aspire to achieve, and your hair is silkier than my satin sheets. how are you real?

sakura closed her eyes and tries to block out the words she remembers herself use in writing that godforsaken letter.

"sakura-san?"

sakura opened her eyes again and found herself staring into his pale grey ones. she broke out an awkward laugh as she turned her stare at the letter in his hand anxiously, "oh. that. ha ha, that's um. well. i wrote that like, a million years ago, you know. uhm, i didn't even know how you got that but i swear i never intended on sending you that."

"but you mentioned some of the missions we went to just last year," neji frowned at her.

"oh wow. did i, now? well, don't worry about it, neji-kun. whatever was written in there is already ancient history. don't mind it," sakura insisted but neji only looked at her intently, disbelieving.

two years after the war ended, neji and sakura were immediately promoted to ANBU along with shikamaru and they were then frequently sent to several missions together. since the others were working their way up to ANBU as well and sasuke was on a self imposed exile, sakura spent most of her time with him. they work really well together and inevitably developed a friendship. who knew neji was a fan of harry potter, lord of the rings, the hunger games, and other dystopian/fantasy novels as she was? they ended up hanging out frequently, discussing and debating over said novels.

she then began liking neji which did not end well because she found out a little while later that he and tenten started dating. thus, she once again began writing a love letter.

"tenten and i broke up a week ago," he suddenly blurted out.

sakura was shocked at the sudden announcement and does not know how to react, "oh," was the only thing she managed to say.

she blinked a few more times and sighed, "i'm sorry to hear that, neji-kun. but you don't have to worry about that letter. i'm certainly not looking for a relationship with you. at all. it's all in the past now! i'm actually dating someone now," she babbles nonstop when she's super nervous without even registering the words that comes out of her mouth.

neji continued to look at her intently, "who?"

now, sakura is panicking and chastising herself for being so thoughtless, and neji's stares are really distracting her and she's really scared that he might end up kissing her right there in the middle of the hallway and he's not allowed to because he's her good friend and tenten is one of her girlfriends.

as she was on the brink of deciding to knock him out, she suddenly heard yet another voice calling out to her.

"sakura-chan!"

sakura and neji both turned their heads towards naruto and sasuke who are approaching them. they must be fetching her now to eat lunch at ichiraku's.

and because she is panicking and she's thoughtless and her body seems to have a mind on its own, she all but pounced at sasuke the moment he and naruto are only one foot away from them. she wrapped her arms around his neck, draped her legs around his waist and kissed him with all her might which left everyone witnessing the moment unfold, in utter shock.

—

sakura is at a bathroom stall in the women's restroom of their hospital and rethinking all of her life choices.

she must have lost her mind, kissing her (just-friend) sasuke-kun suddenly. after literally jumping the poor guy, and corrupting the minds of everyone with such a scene, she got off him, dragged him and naruto away from the hospital with not so much as a goodbye to neji and ate lunch with them. both boys seemed in deep shock as they hadn't utter a word the whole time.

"uhm, sakura-san, ano," a shy female voice suddenly breaks her silence contemplation and she freezes once more when she recognized the sweet melodic voice.

she looks down when she hears a scraping against the floor and saw a pink envelope being slid in her stall.

"i apologize, sakura-san. but i'm actually in love with someone else," hinata squeaks and stutters as she speaks.

sakura picked up the letter and her remaining dignity on the floor and decided to go out of her stall to face hinata, a very red, tomato red hinata.

sakura places a hand on her shoulder and gently smiles at her, "it's okay, hinata. i wrote this so long ago. besides i know who that someone else is."

"r-really? you're not mad? we can still be friends?"

girls are really softer and nicer, sakura muses.

"silly! i should be the one saying that! of course we're still friends, nothing can change that! now let's stop all this drama and go back to work. naruto invited us all out for a drink later."

—

"hey," she sits down on the chair next to sasuke. sakura couldn't quite find it in herself to look at him.

"hey," he greets back and takes a sip from his beer.

they're in a pub right now, with the rest of their friends and all their sensei, courtesy of naruto's persistent pleas to all of them to gather together and drink their hearts out after a stressful week even though it's only tuesday. sasuke and sakura are drinking at the end of the table quietly as the rest of their friends are creating ruckus around the place.

"about what happened a while back at the hospital," sakura started.

"it's okay, i get it," sasuke cut her off.

sakura blinked, "you do?"

sasuke looks at her, with that super serious look of his, as he said, "look sakura-chan-"

"sakura-chan! WHAT."

sakura looks shocked and scandalized at the added suffix to her name. this time sasuke chuckles which in sasuke language is actually Laughing Out Loud.

"sakura," he corrected, "i know you've been lusting after this," he says as he gestures to his body and sakura just gapes at him, "for years now. and i understand the tendency of your repressed sexual urges to manifest from time to time and-"

sakura smacked him, "what- what are you even. how- what. WHAT."

he finally turned his head to her and sakura is stunned to see him smirking cockily at her much more so when she realized he's actually just messing with her.

after the war four years ago, sasuke was imprisoned for a couple of months and after he was pardoned, he went off on a self-imposed exile. two years of travelling around and atoning for his sins and protecting konoha from the outside, sasuke came back to the village. and after all the emotional rollercoaster they've been through, they decided they should just be friends. and even though sakura resolved on forgetting about him when she was fifteen, it would be a lie if she were to deny that she was hoping a little for him to maybe, just maybe, be with her and allow her to make him happy. it just took her sometime to finally, finally get it and lock away her feelings for him forever.

he's been back in the village for two years now, rebuilding all the bridges he's burnt after leaving and after hurting everybody, and just getting on everyone's good graces. sasuke is still the same and different at the same time. he's actually like a 21 year old grandpa, sakura thinks. the kind of grandpa that runs after kids when they accidentally steps a foot on his lawn. he still broods and shuts them off sometimes but it's nothing an alcohol, a sparring match, a scolding, or a persistent pestering from naruto or sakura or kakashi or even sai can't fix. but he smiles now, chuckles sometimes, acts like a jerk, and pisses her off in his own sasuke way.

he's been doing this a lot since he came back, sakura realizes. she always marvels at him whenever he does this and tucks his teasing smiles and awkward jokes in the locked up part of her heart for safekeeping. she often wonders if underneath all the angst and stoicism, sasuke has always been this boy.

sasuke just shakes his head at her and continues to look amused, "you know i'm flattered that you still have the hots for me. now don't get offended, i think you're fine and not that bad either. but i just don't think it's a good idea for us to date. i mean, things are so good between us right now."

sakura just gave him a disapproving glare and punched him in the arm, "jerk! i'm more than fine and decent looking. i'm a goddess, if you must know," she punches him one more time when she heard him scoff at her and continued, "uchiha sasuke, i don't want to date you either. and i don't like you anymore." sasuke looked taken aback by what she said.

"after hanging out with you for quite a lot of times, i realized you're just the same as naruto."

being compared to naruto, for uchiha sasuke, is the highest form of insult there is. sakura really knows how to push the right buttons.

"what."

"i mean, have you seen yourself whenever you play video games with naruto at his apartment? you transform into this super gross persona of yours who belches loudly and farts and leaves piles and piles of leftover takeout food around the place and never even leaving your spot on the couch for days. and that's just one, because if i continue to list your flaws, we might never leave this place ever."

"excuse me. WHAT."

it's now turn for sakura to look smug and get on his nerves and take advantage on his shock to continue her excuse for kissing him earlier, "for reals though, i just did what i did earlier as an act of desperation."

he looks like his soul came back to him and raises his eyebrow at her, prodding her to continue.

"you see, i have written this five love letters and somehow they got sent to their five intended recipients by some witchcraft, i don't know-"

"wait, what are you saying? i'm not the only one who got a letter?" sasuke looks like he doesn't know if he should be offended or amused by this.

sakura only rolled her eyes at him, "don't be such a baby. anyway, so one of the letters got sent to the person i actually liked quite recently and he confronted me earlier and i told him i'm dating somebody and you came into view and i panicked so i pounced on you. sorry."

"damn, sakura. i didn't know you were such a player. wow, i'm learning a lot of things about you this week. huh," says sasuke.

they drink in silence for a while as naruto and kiba and lee and even shino fills the place with their noises at the middle of their table, and suddenly something dawns on sasuke. hyuuga neji is other person talking with sakura when she suddenly attacked him.

he looked back again at sakura, his eyes wide, "you like neji?!"

it's a good thing their friends are noisy and neji is at the other end of the table, talking to shikamaru, that no one heard sasuke's revelation.

sakura looks around the pub and accidentally catches neji's eyes before looking away and turning red. she smacks sasuke in the arm again, "lower your voice, you dummy! someone might hear you! and correction, liked. as in past tense! shut up."

"so you kissed me to cover up the fact that you like him? why not just tell him the truth, i heard he's single now and the way he looks at you tells me he's interested as well."

sakura blushes and raises her eyebrow at him, "liked. past tense, okay. and i didn't know you keep up with the latest gossip around town, sasuke-kun," he shrugged at her, "no, dum-dum. i can't actually date him. tenten is one of my best friends and it's against my code of conduct to date my friend's ex. ovaries before penises."

sasuke chuckles once again, "ovaries before penises? i think you're the only one who says that. who else?"

"who else what?"

"who else received letters from you?"

sakura looks embarrassed as she replied, "well, there's you of course. and neji-kun. and hinata-chan-"

"what! you know she's in love with the dobe, right?"

"i know! she told me herself earlier. there's gaara. and one from my childhood and luckily my letter for him is sent back to me. and kazekage-sama can't actually leave suna on a whim just to confront me over a trivial thing so facing neji is my only problem for now."

sasuke is now looking at her like he's seeing her for the first time, "well, you're in luck as i'm about to help you," he said as he leaned in and suddenly kissed her once again.

he broke the kiss immediately and smirked at her before she can even process what's happening.

"what are you doing?" she hissed and then looked around the pub when she realized that all the noises stopped and everyone is looking at them both with all of their faces amused at the sudden display of affection.

"i knew it! you sly dogs!" naruto shouted and the whole place erupted once more with noises from all of their friends' teasing.

"you can continue to pretend date me," sasuke whispered to her ears and he's so close to her and she doesn't know if it's the alcohol or his smell that's invading her system, maybe it's both.

she looks him in the eye for a long time, ignoring their friends, and asks, "why?" he shrugs, "well, we hang out a lot anyways. and me dating you can ward off girls coming at me every damn time, maybe even get karin off her back. and you can continue your lie to neji, i guess."

they stared at each other for quite a while before sakura shrugs, ah fuck it."okay. i have one condition though," she says.

he raises his eyebrow at her.

"you're not allowed to fall in love with me," she continues, trying to keep a straight face.

sasuke just snorts and sips from his bottle, looking effortlessly sexy like he's doing a beer ad. sasuke-kun, this effortlessly beautiful bastard, she thinks. he drapes his arm around her shoulders, and smelling like a mix of alcohol, aftershave, and a promise of something more, he leans in and whispers, "won't be a problem." -- this was!!! super long!!! i started this around 1 pm and finished at around 10 pm. i don't have eyes anymore

#sasusaku #ssfic #ssfanfiction #fic #haruno sakura #uchiha sasuke #this was!!!#super long!!#i started this around 1 pm and finished at 10 pm so sorry for all the grammatical errors!!!#also super thanks to everyone who decides to take the time and read this word vomit of mine #i might or might not write a sequel haha #depends if i have another 10 hours to spare #pia writes

49 notes · View notes