#edward is controlling and weird and off putting and intense

[sweatergirlsposts]

Imagine Being Part of The Wolf Pack and Imprinting on Carlisle (Oneshot)

(A/N: Back by demand here is a longgggg oneshot of this imagine. I’m a little rusty, but I hope you all like it)

Ever since you turned, life had gotten lonelier for you. Living the pack life meant separating yourself from your closest friends and finding only solace in your brothers and sister in the pack, but it wasn’t always enough. No one could know your secret, especially your mother. 

Your mother thought all the stories about turning into wolves was entertaining for children, but to ponder on them as adults was a waste of time. Your father was a Quileute while your mother was a resident of Forks. Your father never turned or imprinted but he did fall in love with your mother and stayed on the La Push reservoir until he died. 

You turned when you found out the news of your father’s mysterious death. The police described it as an accidental fall off a cliff, but you knew your father wouldn’t even be near a cliff, for he had an intense fear of heights. According to a police report, that you stole, they found long wavy auburn strands on his body. Your mother’s first thoughts were that your father probably had an affair, but you also knew that your father wouldn’t even dream about being with any women other than your mother. Least to say, your hypothesis was that your father was murdered.  

Still living in La Push, you come up with excuses to your mother of why you’re always out late and how your friends with everyone in the pack. She thinks it’s weird but tells you that if it gets out of hand then she will ban you from leaving the house. You didn’t see the point seeing as were an adult, but you let her say whatever made her feel comfortable.

Currently, everyone in the pack were getting ready to go train with the vamps, or more formally known as the Cullens. 

You only knew/heard of their family and individual names in passing, whenever Sam or Jacob would rely a thought through the pack connection. One name that you heard all time was Bella Swan, the human girl whom you’ve briefly met, that was involved with them. Everyone in the pack would always recoil at the thought of Bella and Edward, her Vampire significant other, being together. You could give less of a care in the world. The only thing you cared about was if they were to kill another human or if they passed into your land.

“Get ready to head out,” Sam yelled who stripped down to his skimmies like everyone else. To say that you go through a lot of undergarments in a week was an understatement. 

“(Y/N), you take behind the pack,” Sam ordered. Sam trusted you to keep the pack safe from behind, seeing that you were just as strong as himself and Paul. 

“Yes Sam,” you responded with compliance waiting for everyone else to turn before you did. 

You changed thinking of the only thing that could make you enraged, the death of your father. Bursting from your human form, came forth your wolf form. You were covered in thick dark grey fur with highlights of white that reflected when the sun hit it just right.  

‘Let’s go’  is all Sam said through the connection as Jacob howled to let the Cullens know that you all were coming.

Apparently according to Sam and Jacob, the Cullens had offered an olive branch because they need your help to take down a common enemy, rouge vampires. These vampires were coming after Bella and therefore were breaking the treaty of harming humans and would get the punishment the tribe saw fit for this conflict; to be put to death. One of the vampires of their coven, Jasper you believed his name was, said that they could train you to fight against these vampires, for his prior experience with some.

‘What is the point in meeting up with those bloodsuckers! What can they teach us that we don’t already about killing their kind.’ Paul sneered through the connection as you ran as a pack to the meeting spot.

‘It’s not about what they can teach us, it’s about keeping treaty and protecting our people, even if it means working with them for short amount of time’ Sam growled with his hackles raising to assert his dominance. 

Sam was the first to make it over the hill to the clearing the Cullens agreed to meet up at. Still in a protective approach, one by one the pack emerged from the brush. Since you were last, Sam expected that you would circle the perimeter to make sure that there were no unexpected guests.

“They don’t trust us enough to be in their human forms,” you heard from a soft masculine, almost throaty voice, as you soon finished your circle around the area. 

“They came. That’s what matters” said another voice that sounded silky and comforting. You shake the ghost chill that ran through your fur giving you goosebumps as you made your way up the hill.

“Will you translate?” asked the second voice before the first protested.

“Hold on there’s another one coming up the hill,” the voice sensed your approach making it’s way atop of the hill. Finally showing yourself, you observed the clearing in which everyone would practice in.

Your eyes came across each Cullen and Bella. One by one, you surveyed how each one looked with what you assumed to be their companion, until your eyes stopped on who you assumed was their leader that stood in front of your group. 

And in that moment you could feel you heart almost drop out of your body. Your head became overwhelmed and dizzy as if you had rolled down a hill and you were trying to find your equilibrium to stand. Something flowed through your veins, stronger than hormones and more numbingly intoxicating than morphine. As soon as the feeling came hitting you like you ran into a brick wall, it disappeared. 

You knew what you did and oh boy did you regret it. You imprinted on the angelic blond vampire in front of your whole pack and they felt it through the connection.

The vampire with Bella turned his head towards you with a taken aback look but also one of understanding. It was like he was reading your mind. He looked back and forth between you and ‘him’    

‘Oh fuck’ is all you thought after imprinting on the vampire.

“Carlisle we might have a situation,” informed ‘Bella’s’ vampire to ‘him’ while still staring at you before letting him say anything. 

Before you knew what was happening, Sam jumped atop of you knocking you onto your back.

‘YOU IMPRINTED ON ONE OF THEM!!’  Sam ferociously barked in your face, ready to attack in case you resisted.

‘Disgusting!’ yelled another through the connection.   

‘I can’t control it Sam, you of all people know that’ you whimpered meekly. Considering that you usually had a strong demeanor, you’ve never felt so vulnerable and powerless within your time being in the pack. 

“Hey!” called Bella’s vampire, “Let them go, they can’t control it”

You took advantage of this distraction and pushed Sam off of you. Once freed, for a mere moment, Sam caught you by the leg and punctured it with his massive teeth. 

Letting out a yelp at the sudden pain to your hind leg, you donkey kicked Sam in the face with your other leg and ran away limping. You couldn’t believe what Sam just did to you. You needed air, you needed space from your pack, and from him.

All your instincts told you to turn around to be near your imprint, to protect the bewitchingly good looking vampire from your pack in case, but you couldn’t be near him. The shame that your stupid wolfy senses put upon your shoulders was too much to bare right now. All you wanted right now was be alone with your thoughts and to go get help for your leg.

Meanwhile in the clearing, all but one vampire was very confused at what went down.  

“What just happened?” Bella asked being the first one to verbalize everyone else’s thoughts

“They imprinted on Carlisle,” Edward stated confound, “The one that Sam attacked”  

No one was more surprised than Carlisle. He didn’t really know how to take it, especially if the feelings were coming from one of the people they had a treaty with. One thing he knew for sure was he needed to check on you, if that bite got infected while your out in the forest it was going to cause you a lot damage to your human self. 

Reading Carlisle’s mind, Edward knew that he was coming along to track and translate once you were found. 

Carlisle turned to Jasper, “You continue you to show them how to take care of the newborns, Edward and I will be back soon.”

Leaving the clearing, Carlisle followed Edward so he could track your mind to find you. 

You laid on the river bank, still in your wolf form and bleeding from your back left leg. This river was the one that your father would take you to go fly fishing in when you were a kid. It was the river in between the land of both the Cullen’s and the Quileute’s, but the part you were at was far enough down that the pack wouldn’t hear your thoughts from there. 

The pain from your leg hurt like a bitch. You were so livid with not only Sam and the pack, but yourself. 

‘How could you be so stupid to imprint on one of them?!’ you thought to yourself, ‘Of all people and creatures, it had to be the people that your people were sworn enemies to! The pack will never want me back’ 

Trying to distract yourself from your mind, you tried ‘cleaning’ your wound with your tongue as disgusting as it sounds. 

Edward could hear your thoughts of pain as you tried ‘cleaning’ the bite. Werewolf blood was in a way revolting like the smell of them. The blood was still edible but unnecessary to the vampire diet. Both Carlisle and himself, arrived at the edge of the tree line where you couldn’t see them.

“Let’s try not to scare them off. By the substantial smell of blood, if they keep straining the wound, they’re going to pass out soon,”  Carlisle smelt the aroma lingering in the air, “I think you should go first to talk to them Edward”

You could smell that someone else was there. Vampire with possibly more vampires. You try standing up in case you have to defend yourself but stumble backwards.

“Easy (Y/N)” you whip your head to find Bella’s vampire walking towards you slowly from 10 feet away, “I’m Edward, and I’m here to help”

You wondered how he knew your name but remembered that his kind had special gifts, you assumed his was mind reading.

‘I don’t need your help, I need to be alone right now please,’ you growled lowly as a warning.

“I can’t let you do that, especially if you’re bleeding that much,” he said gesturing to your injured leg and how the thick substance spilled from it matting your fur. 

‘There’s more of you here, I smell someone else’

“I brought someone that could help your leg. I brought Carlisle, he’s the one you imprinted on”

You let his roll around in your mind. It sounded like the name of someone who belonged to bloodline of  royalty. Edward smirked reading how you played around with Carlisle’s name. 

Starting to feel the blood loss, you fall down into a laying position on your side.

“Carlisle!” Edward called over to his adoptive father as he watched you fall to the ground

Catching your breath, you felt two presences over your form, Edward by your muzzle while Carlisle was by your leg analyzing it.

“They’re losing a lot of blood. We’re going to have to get them to turn back so we can wrap a tourniquet around their leg,” Carlisle relays to Edward before turning to you, “I’m going to need you to revert back so I can help you”

You looked into his amber eyes. Even though his colour was similar to Edward’s and the rest of the Cullens, you could see that his had matured longer to be that certain colour. It was like first day break rays hitting rich honey. 

‘I will be nude if I change back. Can I have a cover of some sort?’

“Carlisle, (Y/N) would like to use your jacket to cover up when they turn, if that’s okay they asked” 

Carlisle had no objection there, as a doctor he had seen everything but he understood that you would like to cover any and all modesty. He took off his jacket and placed it over your large form. 

You calmed down and slowly felt yourself shrink back into your human body with the jacket, thankfully, covering enough of your skin. Edward held your head above the rocks, trying to keep you awake. Carlisle took off his blue crew neck sweater, leaving him in a white undershirt, and made the tourniquet on your upper thigh above the teeth gash on your inner and outer thigh. The blood soaked through the sweater but Carlisle didn’t care, his main concern was getting you some where to stitch you up.   

“We should take them back to the house. Edward call Alice to tell them to stay out of the house for a couple hours”

Finally looking to your face, Carlisle had to stop for a second to take you in. Your features were soft yet seemed like they were chiseled in a likeness to statues he had seen in his time with the Volturi. There was only one word that came to how he felt when it came to looking at you in your human form. 

Alive

As if a shock of electricity flowed through him, and jump started his heart he  could see why you imprinted on him. If he was your imprint then you were his ‘true’ mate. 

Similarly to imprinting, when Vampires find their ‘true’ mates an eternal romantic bond is formed, it cannot be broken, and it can be anyone. Esme and himself acted as partners for many years as to not draw attention from the locals, for it would be suspicious that two individuals would raise six adopted children. He too had been lonely for over the last three and a half centuries but he would have never suspected that you, a shapeshifter, would be his true mate. 

Again for the second time today, Edward was astonished but had to stay composed enough for Carlisle and to not drink your blood.

“We should get them back Carlisle,” Edward broke Carlisle’s train of thought back to the fact you were indeed bleeding out. Edward moved away a couple steps so he could get out his phone and call Alice.

“I’ll send you the money for your dry cleaning,” you said to Carlisle, wearily trying to stay conscious.

“No need to do that (Miss/Mr/Mx) (Y/N). Edward and I are going to take you back to our house to give you stitchs”

“I would like that very much,” you slurred feeling the effects of blood loss before falling into unconsciousness.

Carlisle scooped you up into his arms. In perfect contrast, your form burned and he was frigid to the touch. It was comfortable for once not being the temperature of a blast furnace for you, and him to not feel like glacier to others.

Meeting your imprint was far from how some of the pack described meeting their’s, especially with all the blood and confusion. Eventually, you knew that you’d forgive Sam for what he did to you. And he and the pack would come to a place of understanding for their feelings about you and your imprint. For now, you knew while floating in between being conscious or unconscious in the doctors arms, that you’ll never feel truly lonely ever again.

MASTERLIST

(Request are open! Gif Source Unknown)

[zillennial97]

Friends to Lovers | Larry Fanfic Recs

Hiding Place by alivingfire | 365k | Explicit

Louis never wanted a soulmate, didn’t really care for the whole Bonding thing at all, really. Enter Harry Styles, who’s wanted to be Bonded for as long as he could remember. With one fateful meeting in an X Factor bathroom, Louis gets a dagger on his arm and the realization that just because Harry is his soulmate doesn’t mean it’s mutual.

From the X Factor house to Madison Square Garden, from the Fountain Studios stage to stadiums across the world, Louis has to learn to love without losing himself completely, because someday his best friend will Bond to someone and replace Louis as the center of his universe. Meanwhile, Harry begins to think that maybe fate doesn’t actually know what it’s doing after all, because his other half has clearly been right in front of him the whole time. All he has to do now is convince Louis to give them a chance.

Or, the canon compliant Harry and Louis love story from the very beginning, where the only difference is that the love between them is literally written on their skin, and there’s only so much they can hide.

And Then a Bit by infinitelymint | 158k | Explicit

“We’d like to give the fans what they want.” Magee states, placing his hand on the table in front of him and leaning forward. “We want to give them Larry Stylinson.”

Or, take a parallel universe where Louis and Harry were never together, mix in a two year hiatus and an impending comeback, pour in a dash of lost fans, two tablespoons of strong friendship and a Modest! employee with a good idea. Add a squeeze of pretending to be a couple, lots of kisses and a tattoo or two. Stir. Serve: the mother of all publicity stunts.

(aka Harry and Louis fake a relationship for publicity. Eventually it becomes a lot less fake and a lot more real.)

Wild Love by purpledaisy | 130k | Explicit

“Good,” Julia says, clearly pleased to have them both uncomfortable and unable to look at each other. “Now, I only have one more question before you can go. What are you planning to do when this experiment ruins your friendship?”

“We said we’d stay friends no matter what,” Harry says smoothly, his chin lifting in defense.

“That was our one thing going into it,” Louis agrees. “Stay friends no matter what.”

Julia raises a perfectly manicured brow, “That’s all fine and good. But I hope you realize your emotions aren’t going to realize this is an experiment in the end. If one of you falls for the other and finds out those feelings are not reciprocated, you’re not going to be able to laugh it off as a social experiment. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do this, I’m just hoping you’ve considered all of the possible outcomes.”

- AU: Two best friends try to date each other for forty days. It's supposed to be fun until emotions make it complicated.

California Sold by isthatyoularry | 123k | Mature

Notoriously closeted boyband member Harry Styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile Louis, as his best friend, is back home in Manchester, living the typical life of a 24 year old. When Harry needs Louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.

A fake-relationship AU between two lifelong best friends.

Tired Tired Sea by MediaWhore | 113k | Mature

As a B&B owner on the most remote of all the British Isles, Louis Tomlinson is used to spending the coldest half of the year in complete isolation, with his dog and the sea as sole companions. Until, one day, a mysterious stranger on a quest to rebuild himself rents a room for the winter.

Like a Bullet in the Dark by Vurdoc | 99k | Explicit

Prince Harold Edward Styles Lancaster is second in line to the throne of Great Britain. He is also your average Uni student- or he tries to be, anyway.

With a promise from the press (and his father) that they'll leave him alone for four years, he sets out to be a student at Cambridge, when he meets his very normal, very working class, very handsome suite-mate, Louis Tomlinson.

Louis makes Harry feel more like a person than he ever has before, which might cause some issues later on- 'cause Harry has a secret that he's only told his sister Gemma about.

Little does he know though, that Louis has some secrets of his own.

A Will & Kate Au- with a twist.

Christmas-ing With You by dolce_piccante | 65k | Mature

Two writers from Loving Heart Television, the premiere network for holiday romance films, find that, sometimes, love is not only in their works of fiction.

Faking It by TheCellarDoor | 46k | Mature

A uni AU in which Louis has been Harry’s best friend since he offered him cubed fruit on the playground, and they spend more time cuddling in their dorm beds than they do apart, but it’s not like that. Or is it?

Aka Harry pretends to date his best friend to escape unwanted attention from a too insistent classmate and hopes it won’t blow up in his face. Featuring embarrassing dildo accidents, awkward boners, longing, first times, late night conversations, emotional discoveries and Niall as the exasperated friend with bad advice.

if the sun don't shine by falsegoodnight | 36k | Explicit

Louis finds himself struck frozen, fingers stuck in place where he’s flattened them against the cold railing. It takes every bit of his remaining strength to pull them away, sliding them under his shirt and pressing them to his stomach to leech some of the warmth. He hardly pays attention to the bite of the wind and air on his shivering body. He can only pay attention to the music.

The music that is undoubtedly new to Louis’ ears, yet listening to it is the most familiar thing Louis has ever experienced. An inexplicable rush of emotions flood his mind and body, rendering him speechless and hollow. It’s a call of loneliness. It rings of everything Louis’ been feeling.

And the pure yearning - the intense longing for something and someone - tears through straight to Louis’ heart. The desperation feels all too intimate, all too real. It makes Louis think of what he yearns for more than anything. It makes him think of his soulmate.

-

In a world where you meet your soulmates in dreams, Louis has spent the last three years going to bed hoping to finally meet his, only to end up disappointed time and time again. It all changes with a violin.

From the Start by allwaswell16 | 32k | Explicit

Louis has no idea that one act of kindness will cause his life to spiral out of control. But that's what happens when his new friend fake proposes to him and a video of it goes viral.

Barefoot in Blue Jeans by indiaalphawhiskey | 24k | Explicit

AU. Louis Tomlinson is trying desperately hard not to fall for his son’s au pair, but he can’t, for the life of him, remember why.

475. The hope that this fear is unfounded.

In Dreams by dolce_piccante | 23k | Mature

AU. When Harry moves to a new city, his new flat come with a number of sweet, anonymous gifts and surprises that brighten his days. Could it be a friendly ghost? Another friendly presence in his new building is his tattooed neighbor, Louis, who seems determined to put a smile back on his face.

You're Writing Verses About Me by Rearviewdreamer | 23k | Teen And Up Audiences

Everybody knows that Louis has never been one for serious boyfriends. His reputation around campus precedes him, which is why he doesn't think twice before proudly telling his mother about his new and completely fabricated relationship with his oddly quiet and completely

And I Will Hold On To You by darkmarkburning, staybeautiful | 23k | Mature

“I can’t believe my best friend is about to be Prime Minister of Canada,” Harry whispered in his ear, his arms tight around Louis’ shoulders. “Who decided it was a good idea to let some brash kid from Doncaster run a country?”

“I don’t know,” Louis laughed into his shoulder, “but if you promise not to tell them they’ve made a mistake I’ll give you a posh office.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal, Tomlinson.” Harry pulled away and smacked a kiss onto Louis’ cheek. “I’m proud of you, Lou, I can’t fucking believe it, but I’m proud of you.”

or Louis has just been elected Prime Minister of Canada and Harry is his best friend since childhood.

the way the storms blow by rbbsbb | 21k | Explicit

Louis doesn’t have a habit of thinking about Harry’s dick.

That would be weird, seeing as they’re best mates, and they share a flat, and they’ve spent holidays at each other’s family homes. Their friendship hasn’t ever risen to a point where Louis should want to see his mate’s dick, and he’s happy to keep it that way.

Except, all that Louis can think about is exactly that. The size of it. The shape. The amount of people it’s been in.

Maybe it’s the tequila talking, or the fact that Louis’ just recently walked in to an eyeful of Harry taking turns on some slags that he’s never seen before, but. Louis’ mind can’t stop obsessing over the idea.

Autumn At My Window by TheCellarDoor | 20k | Mature

A canon-compliant AU, in which Harry and Louis are both in the band and have been sharing flats and hotel rooms for nearly five years, but never made the leap past 'friends who are too close for comfort'.

Featuring a lot of pining, Louis' addiction to Harry's scent, and a whole lot of sexual tension that might just snap loose when they decide to spend some time together all on their own.

The Sex Methods by Alice_Novelland | 19k | Explicit

Harry and Louis explore alternative methods aka sex methods to help each other out.

once bitten and twice shy by pinkcords | 19k | Mature

This time as his stomach rolls, there’s no doubt about it. He’s going to vomit. And if he does, it’ll be on Louis’ shoes, a nice little parting gift to go with the embarrassment he’s caused the both of them. “I’m gonna throw up,” he says just as Louis turns to look at him, blue eyes swimming with shock and confusion, and asks, “Is that true?”

Or, in a rush of bravery only senior year can bring, Harry confesses his feelings in a letter to his neighbor and best friend, Louis, only for the entire school to hear it and laugh him out of their small town in Wisconsin. Ten years later, Harry's a successful lawyer at Columbia Records, coming home for Christmas for the first time since he departed for college. He plans to work his way through the trip, eat his mom's cooking, and avoid everyone from his past for as long as possible. The only problem is best laid plans hardly ever go as intended.

Oblivious by Speechless | 19k | Explicit

"You say it's nothing serious after you've been obsessing over it for months," Liam observes, pausing their videogame. "But now you barely talk about it-" "You guys fucking ignore me whenever I try!" Louis shouts, bumping his shoulder against Liam's and hurting himself in the process. "You're postponing sex, when it's obvious that Luke's up for it at this point." Liam ignores him. "For some reason you've left Harry in the dark about it-" "What?!" Louis snaps, banging his controller against the coffee table. "I have not!" "And no matter how blatant it is, no matter how fucking ridiculous you both get when it comes to it-" "Shut your hole." Louis urges, pinching his thigh, as soon as Harry enters the room. "Shush."

* Where Louis gets a little crush on Luke and for some reason Harry starts acting weird *

searching for a sweet surrender (but this is not the end) by feelslikehxme | 18k | Teen And Up Audiences

Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles, the two most loved coaches on The Voice UK known for their banter on the show and best friendship off. Louis’s determined to win and finally end Harry’s winning streak with Zayn Malik on his team, but Harry’s flirting and Liam Payne have different plans.

— Or an AU based off the Voice where Louis’s Adam, Harry’s Blake, Niall’s Shakira, Zayn and Liam have a cliche Romeo/Juliet love story and Louis’s too old for pathetic pining.

Can I bother you for a sex? by perfectdagger (sincerelyste) | 16k | Explicit

Reason #40 – Called/texted the wrong person, but he was into it anyway

“So, this isn’t really an invite for a sex, I see,” Louis spoke, not missing the chance. There was a teasing smile on his lips as he turned around to face Harry again after he had just closed the door.

Harry let out a laugh as he closed his eyes and shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Oh for fuck's sake, Louis,” he looked back at Louis, “this will haunt me forever now, won’t it?”

Louis shrugged. “Not my fault some people manage to mistext and sext others at the same time.”

When Harry mistexts Louis, Louis realises that he wouldn't mind Harry bothering him with anything, especially not with sex.

You'll Be Home For Christmas by 2tiedships2 | 15k | Not Rated

“Honesty, Lou, just ask Harry for help.”

Louis remained silent as he continued to scowl at the Christmas calendar Niall had hung on their refrigerator.

“And be nice to my calendar filled with holiday cheer,” Niall instructed. “You’re going to burn a fucking hole in it from the way you’re glaring at the innocent thing. It’s not the calendar’s fault that your heat is starting so close to Christmas.”

You're The One That I Want by spacecakesandmilkshakes | 15k | Explicit

Harry had always been Louis' best friend and...well...his baby, until one day he realized that his baby was all grown up.

show you the stars in the daylight by bruisedhoney | 13k | Explicit

Louis laughed, the sound loud and borderline obnoxious. Harry winced. “Are you kidding, Haz? I wouldn’t even look twice at someone that couldn’t pick me up.”

And, well. That was new information to Harry. It’s not like Louis had ever mentioned to him that he was his type in any way, shape, or form. Harry shifted closer into the space between Louis’s legs, even more intrigued than before. “Why not?” he asked curiously, all pink lips and big curls. Louis smiled.

“Tiny, innocent, little Harold. Need someone that can pick me up, don’t I? I like being tossed around a little. You know, pinned down and made to take it. Lifted up like I’m nothing,” Louis said it all with a confident smile, his sharp little teeth tugging at his bottom lip as he locked eyes with the jock across the kitchen. “Think he might come over here. Move over. I don’t want him to think we’re together.”

Or, the one where Louis has a type and at sixteen and scrawy, it's definitely not his best friend's little brother Harry...ten years later, he changes his mind.

when everybody wants you by nightwideopen | 11k | Mature

Harry nearly faints on the spot. He got the job. He’s going to be on Saturday Night Live.

Three of Harry's dreams come true, then one of them falls apart.

or

the SNL au that no one asked for

Shape of You by Only_angel_28 | 11k | Explicit

“Seriously?” Surely, Harry must be joking. Louis arches a skeptical brow and snaps the waistband of Harry’s joggers playfully. “What exactly do you have down there, Styles? I know you’ve got four nipples, d’ya have a couple extra bollocks as well or summat?”

“No!” Harry shrieks, his voice bordering on shrill. “No,” He repeats a little quieter, calmer, “I just—I’m, er, kinda…big, I guess.”

Louis rolls his eyes in fond exasperation. “That’s hardly a problem, curly.”

*Or Harry is insecure about a certain rather large part of his anatomy that is apparently intimidating to the point where it has actually scared off potential shags. When he ends up confessing this to his best friend and roommate, Louis takes it upon himself to prove that Harry’s size doesn't have to be a curse, and decides to help show him just how perfect he is.

Waiting by allwaswell16 for LadyLondonderry | 10k | Explicit

Louis Tomlinson was Harry’s omega, of this Harry had always been sure. Unfortunately for Harry, Louis seemed to think they were just best friends. The six weeks that Harry has to live with Louis were going to be rough.

You Give Me Fever (What A Lovely Way To Burn) by my_fandom_OTPs | 10k | Explicit

Louis walks in on Harry jerking off in the shower. What happens after is just… Impulsive and spontaneous.

the value of this moment lives in metaphor by clicheanna for hattalove | 10k | Teen And Up Audiences

Louis and Harry are best friends and absolutely nothing more. It’s a bit strange that, suddenly, everyone thinks they’re dating.

Or the one where they’re all teachers at a high school and students are more invested in their lives than normally expected.

trusting things beyond mistake by sarcasticfluentry | 9k | Explicit

"Is that even possible?" asks Harry.

All of them stare at him for several seconds, and then Louis says, "What, coming untouched?"

"Christ," Zayn mutters, throwing his hands up. “This fucking band, I swear.”

...or, Harry wants to see if he can come without touching his cock and ends up getting more than he bargained for.

And I Will Steady Your Hand by kiwikero | 9k | Explicit

All first year university students who had not yet presented were strongly advised to join the Fire Away meetings, a support group for so-called 'late bloomers.'

They were not, however, advised to fall in love with someone else at the meetings without knowing what they might eventually present as.

A Christmas Wish by Snowy38 | 8k | Mature

"So when are you going to tell him?"

Louis pursed his lips at his sister, his Skype video call relaying his thoughts on that subject perfectly.

"Next question," he mused.

Lottie rolled her eyes.

"It's your birthday in four days, Louis."

"What difference does that make?" He scoffed.

She shrugged.

"You can get drunk and confess how you feel and take it back afterwards if he doesn't feel the same."

That might work if Louis wasn't in love with Harry. But Lottie didn't know that and she didn't need to find out.

"Thanks Lots," he said anyway.

"Seriously Lou what's stopping you?"

Louis sighed.

"Fear mostly."

Under that Damn Mistletoe by hickeystyles | 7k | Mature

Louis' heart froze when he looked over and saw Liam whispering in Harry’s ear and nodding towards the mistletoe. Louis’ eyes widened comically before he dove out of sight so Harry couldn’t see him standing under the mistletoe like an idiot, or worse, like he was part of Liam’s plan to have Harry kiss him.

Or a Christmas Party AU where Louis is in love with his best friend Harry and everyone else is trying to force the two of them under the mistletoe together

We Could Be A Dream by Bearandleonardwrite | 7k | Explicit

“So, I’ve never seen you at one of these parties before,” Harry says as he hands Louis his drink. “Who’re you here for?”

Well, shit. Louis was definitely not expecting that. He sips on his drink to give him a few moments to think of an answer and then, “Oh, y’know. I’m dating the host’s brother. What about you?” He’s quite pleased with himself. Great answer. He takes another drink as a reward.

Harry grins at him, eyes bright, and shrugs. “Gemma’s my sister.” Louis hums around the rim of his cup waiting for him to elaborate. “She’s the host,” he tacks on, smug smile on his face. Louis chokes on his drink and tries his best to glare at Harry while he coughs. Harry rubs at his back until he can breathe properly again, which is actually really not that helpful. “Didn’t realize we were dating, Lou. I’m flattered.”

(Basically; Louis meets Harry at a party that he wasn't invited to. He ends up asking Harry to tutor him so he can keep seeing him. Featuring a bit of pining and a tea party.)

Mission Fucking Impossible by orphan_account | 7k | Mature

“Are you and Louis fucking?”

Harry nearly spits out his drink as he tries to communicate a "what the ever living fuck" to Niall with his eyes.

Niall takes another casual sip of his beer “Not like I’m the only one thinking it mate, I’m just the only one saying it out loud.”

- Harry is in love with Louis, and he is almost positive Louis is in love with him too. Naturally, Harry deals with this by trying to get Louis horny and hope for the best.

Things don't exactly work out how he plans.

One day to believe in you by mediaville | 7k | Explicit

A mysterious force compels Louis to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Even when it's really inconvenient.

Harry blinks and has the nerve to look surprised. "You think about me when you get off?"

"Yes," Louis says. He wonders how hard he'd need to punch himself in the face to knock himself out.

"Often?"

"Yes, Christ, Harry," Louis groans. "Probably eight times a week for going on six years now. On average, you know. More when we were touring, less when I've been visiting family. Anything else you'd like to know?"

Fake It Till We Make It by whileatwiltshire | 7k | General Audiences

#33- Keeping up with the Neighbors

“We can fake it.”

What?

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“No I did not. Say it again.”

“I said” Harry started slowly, “We can fake having sex to teach them a lesson.”

It was clear to say that Louis's mouth went a little dry at the suggestion.

Or ,

Their neighbours were a bit too loud during their bedroom activities and Harry comes up with the worst plan to shut them up. Louis agrees anyways.

Web Me Harder by iwillpaintasongforlou | 6k | Explicit

Louis Tomlinson, otherwise known as London's masked hero Spiderman, finds himself crashing through the window of Harry Styles one night after a particularly nasty fight with a villain. Luckily Harry is a nursing student with a soft spot for caped crusaders who's more than happy to tend to all of Louis' wounds, no matter how many times he swings by.

candy in your mouth (i know you love me) by embodied | 6k | Explicit

“You’re wrong,” Harry says, jaw clenched tight. “Because if all I wanted was a fuck, I’ve got at least three willing parties a phone call and a five minute drive away. What I want is you. I want us, I want it to be normal again -”

“What the fuck is normal?” Louis yells, much too loudly, and has to pause to consciously lower his voice before he speaks again. “Because a year ago, normal was eating too much takeaway and watching B-movies on Netflix in your room, and then normal was me choking on your cock at half past two in the morning, and I don’t know about you, but as of the past few weeks, normal is not seeing or talking to you at all, because I’ve all but admitted that I’m fucking crazy for you and you don’t know what to say to that.” Louis’ chest heaves, his breath coming out short. He hears his own throat stick when he swallows, and his voice is decidedly weaker when he asks, “So which one is it, Harry?”

AU. Things have shifted since last Christmas.

Running Through a Cloud of Steam by allwaswell16 | 5k | Mature

As Harry’s long anticipated twenty-first birthday approaches, he anxiously awaits the moment when he finally meets his soulmate. He’s not even sure he believes in soulmates, but at the very least, he hopes to prove to his best friend that nothing can come between their friendship--not even a soulmate.

You Can't Blame Me For Tryin' by lululawrence | 5k | Mature

Reason # 38 - Because He Is From One of the Countries You Haven't Had Sex With a Person From Yet.

Louis had been accepted into the study abroad program through his uni back home and therefore got to spend a year in rural Minnesota, of all places, but he wasn’t going to complain. It was still a pretty cool experience, even if it was far different from what he had been expecting. And besides, if he’d been sent to literally any other university, he’d never have met Harry.

If It's Meant To Be (It'll Be, It'll Be) by lululawrence | 4k | Not Rated

“So, anyway. I’m done here and on my way to the airport. I think I’m expected to be there in the morning, around ten. I’ll let you know when I’m getting close.”

“Sounds good.” Harry pulled back from the window and threw himself onto one of the beds. Once he got comfortable, he steeled himself and then went for it. “It’s been too long this time, Lou,” he finally whispered. He watched as Louis bit his lip and nodded slowly.

“I know,” Louis agreed, just as quiet in return. “We have to swear to never go this long without seeing each other again. Two months is just...unacceptable. I’m gonna go now, but I’ll see you soon. ‘Kay?”

“Yeah. See you. Be safe,” Harry said, far too fondly for his best friend. He couldn’t help it though. It was how he always had been and probably always would be.

They hung up and Harry threw his arm over his face.

“I am so in love with him,” he whined to himself. “Fuck.”

Satisfaction by iwillpaintasongforlou | 2k | Teen And Up Audiences

Louis and Harry have known each other since before they could remember and been in love with one another for about as long, even though both steadfastly refuse to admit it. When Louis starts dating other people, it is only to help himself move on and not at all to make Harry jealous. And the sulking sort of anger Harry feels when he watches Louis kiss other people is completely irrelevant anyways.

[humans4vampires]

I love you!!!!! Can I request an imagine where the reader is still human and catches Rosalie and Edward being good siblings?? Also some smut WITH THE READER not Rosalie and Edward omg

Anon, from my brain to yours? That sounds weird... Thank you to my smutspiration @little-diable for the saucy pep-talk. 

Grease

The mud splattered off your tires as you turned off the highway and onto the familiar, winding road. The sun was making its first and last appearance for the day as twilight set in. The clouds were a luminous shade of purple, thick with rain that loomed for later; you pushed the gas pedal firmly, hoping to make it inside before the downpour.

You grabbed your sweater and pulled it up to your nose, hoping your day spent in La Push hadn’t made your scent too offensive. You shrugged and spoke only to yourself, “Oh, well.”

You had thought of stopping at home to clean yourself up, but you had been on autopilot since you set your mind on returning home to Edward. You picked at the mud caked on your jeans and flicked it away before you combed through your hair, finding small flecks of dried dirt there, too. You thought back to the moment Jacob whirred past you on his motorcycle, sending a wave of sludge in your direction. He had sworn it was an accident, but with a wide grin on his face. The memory of his smile made you smile.

The road opened up then and you entered the wide clearing and approached the house. You slowed down and stopped the car as a blur of motion caught your eye. Alice and Jasper moved at a mortal pace now as they approached you, hand-in-hand. Her eyes were bright and exultant on you; his were only on her.  Alice pointed her free hand away from her; a gesture for you.

“Edward is in the garage,” she said, her voice loud to reach you over the roar of your truck.

You were surprised that he was occupied. He usually dropped whatever he was doing to come to you.

Your unspoken question did not go unanswered.

“He’s working on his car with Rosalie,” Alice replied.

“Rosalie?” The surprise in your voice was apparent.

Jasper laughed once under his breath and nodded toward the garage. He smirked and said, “Go on, [Y/n]. She won’t bite.”

Alice swatted his chest playfully before they walked off into the woods together, leaving you behind. You shook your head in disbelief and started off toward the garage.

It was no secret that Edward and Rosalie had a somewhat contentious relationship and bonding moments between them were a scarce rarity; in fact, you couldn’t recall a single instance in which the two had chosen to spend quality time together. And their relationship had only further soured since your arrival had stirred up an imbalance in the Cullens’ lives. Perhaps it was a fluke, you thought.

You pulled in front of the large garage where one of the four bays was open. Edward’s shiny, silver Aston Martin was tilted up, as if on a lift, and facing out of the garage in your direction. The hood was open and you could see a set of legs hanging out from underneath the car. You hopped out of your truck and made your way into the garage.

Edward was speaking aloud, though Rosalie wasn’t verbally responding; you assumed it was a mental conversation. You stood in the opening of the garage door for a moment, knowing they both knew you were there.

The setting was peaceful, the sound of tinkering and the stereo playing a tune at a low murmur that reminded you of a distant time. As you watched them work together, you felt silly for having questioned their relationship. Edward and Rosalie were completely in-sync, moving around each other like magnets, Rosalie only speaking to laugh or chide him. You realized suddenly that there was so much about them both you didn’t know.

You were distracted from that thought when Edward rolled out from under the car to greet you.

You were stunned by his beauty as he sat up gracefully from the mechanic’s creeper, flashing his perfect, crooked smile. You had never seen him in blue jeans before, and the grey t-shirt he wore clung to each of his muscles as they flexed with his movements. His clothes and porcelain skin were patched with black grease and his hand clutched at a wrench. Edward chuckled lightly, picking up the hem of his t-shirt to wipe a swatch of grease from his forehead; the action exposed his perfect abs. The last bit of the day’s sun fell down through the wisps of the trees and a few rays of light found his exposed skin, sparkling sporadically. Your heart began to pound in your chest.

“Hello, love,” Edward cooed.

But you were mentally somewhere else and couldn’t reply. Your mind was racing with the thought of his dirty hands on your body.

Edward’s expression changed as he read each thought cross your mind; a small chuckle escaped his lips as he moved with inhuman speed to stand beside you. He pressed his chest to your shoulder as he brushed your hair away from your face and lingered his lips on your earlobe. You listened to his steady breathing and light laughter.

“You like this?” He whispered in your ear.

You quivered in response.

You were distracted again when you heard an exaggerated sigh. The car lowered, the two front tires meeting the concrete again, as Rosalie moved out from where she had been acting as the jack. She wrapped her arms across her chest and rolled her eyes as she assessed your behavior, sending a wild flush of red to your cheeks.

Edward laughed again as Rosalie stepped out into the gentle beams of light. Her skin glistened as she tossed her golden hair behind her back.

“Thank you, Rose,” Edward said, turning from you to answer Rosalie’s unspoken goodbye.

Rosalie vanished then, as if she had never been there.

“I hope I didn’t interrupt anything,” you said meekly, struggling to get a hold on your thoughts.

Edward chuckled against your ear again. “We were just finishing up.”

His cool breath made you shiver; you could feel the smirk on his lips. Edward slowly bent his arm and you felt his hand come up to your throat. His wrist gently rested below your chin, his fingers firmly wrapped under your jaw. Your pulse increased and your legs felt unsteady as he carefully tilted your head away from him, craning your neck, exposing it to him.

Edward pressed his lips on your skin; you felt his tongue graze your taught neck. A moan passed your lips like a sigh and your eyes fluttered closed. His scent was mixed with motor oil and for some reason, it was more delicious that way.

Edward straightened himself out, pulling away from you with a soft laugh. “You let me get carried away,” he complained.

“I wish you would,” you said breathlessly.

“[Y/n], I’m not as gifted with my self-control as you might think,” he said through gritted teeth, hardening the edge of his jaw. You could feel the honesty in his words as he moved his hands behind your back, clenching them into fists.

His intensity raised every hair on your body; you felt electrified.

“Edward, please, touch -“ you pleaded. But you were suddenly moving.

The sound of metal crashing to metal rang in your ears; in an instant, Edward had snapped the hood of the Aston Martin closed and placed you over the top.

He hovered over you, nestling his head between your thighs. Your hands wound their way through his copper hair, the anticipation leaving you breathless. His hands found the waist of your jeans and Edward let out feral sound as he tore into your denim. Your hands searched for a grip as his fingers bent the metal at your hips.

Your eyes found his, which were now a deep black. You’d never seen him this way; like he was a predator. He studied you before bending his head down to your thigh. He traced your veins with his tongue. Breathless words spilled out of your mouth as you begged for him to take you.

“[Y/n], please,” Edward growled, pulling you out of your fantasy. You were both still standing, the hood of the car still up. Had you imagined it?

Your eyes snapped around the room as he walked away from you. He tossed something to the floor in frustration; what was left of the wrench. He took a deep breath and unclenched his hands to cross his arms. His expression was scolding.

You struggled to catch your breath and muttered a weak apology.

He chuckled, rolling his eyes.

“What am I to do with you?” He quipped.

You laughed too. “It would be great if you could do that.”

You brought the mental image up again, plaguing his thoughts with your own.

He shook his head, “Not tonight, [Y/n], please.”

You threw your hands down in surrender. “Fine,” you groaned. “Another time then.”

Edward laughed again. “This really does something for you?” He said, gesturing to his grease-stained body.

You nodded, biting your lip, “Mhmm.”

His expression was incredulous, “I’ll get myself cleaned up then.”

He started for the garage door and you chased after him.

“I’m a bit of a mess myself,” you commented.

He eyed you speculatively as you both made your way toward the house.

You put your mind to work again, imagining the two of you pressed against the glass of his shower, his lips on your skin, your hands in his hair.

“Not tonight, [Y/n],” he repeated himself.

“Another time then.”

[coffeebeannate]

Nate Watches Things: A Saga

Or in this case, one thing. One thing that was far too long of a thing, but such a bizarre venture that I felt rather compelled to put an actual review of said thing together.

Why? Because I can and because others HAVE to experience this..this journey. A nice lil journey called Die Pfeiler der Macht/ A Dangerous Fortune. And I watched it solely because Luca looks cute in Victorian clothes, and I was intrigued by the gifs.

Curiosity has always been such a great human motivator, eh?

And..guys. I just. I don’t know what the 3-4 hours (it’s two movies, and I took a couple days to watch it) WERE, exactly, but they were..a thing? I know that it’s based on a book by Ken Follett and that this production is German. Despite being based in England. 

Oh, and Luca’s character Mickey Miranda, is uh, Spanish. Make of that what you will.

So the summary is this:

A shocking secret behind a young boys death leads to three generations of treachery in this breathtaking saga of love, power and revenge, set amid the wealth and decadence of Victorian England.

And no it does not do this thing justice whatsoever.

Review under the cut. It’s too long *again, two movies here*, and I took far too many screencaps of this absolute wtfery, and uh, it’s probably better suited for a real-time live blog but nah. You can have this instead.

Some images under the cut are NSFW because nefarious boning is a key point in this..thing.

SPOILERS. So many spoilers. This thing is a spoiler fest. The caps have a very obvious Luca bias, I know why we’re here everyone. Hehe. There’s also some triggering stuff in this thing, so be warned there too.

BEHOLD:

So, a point I want to make is that the costuming in this movie is LEGIT. If absolutely nothing else works? Note that the costuming absolutely does.

The opening credits are very nice, Luca’s very pretty, this cap serves purely to showcase that because I’m a very serious man doing a very serious review.

Pretty.

So the beginning is..confusing. We have a girl, Maisie Robinson. (Around 10-13 here?) Her father is very poor and it’s her and her two siblings. He works for a man who is part of our main characters, the Pilasters?  and they run this bank. The head of the bank commits suicide, since they’re having financial troubles and he cannot repay his workers. He pens a note to his young son *under 12 at this point*, Hugh. 

Hugh never finds out about this letter, but anyway. At the moment, it’s 1866. Maisie’s father was one of those employees. Destitute, he leaves Maisie to..raise her siblings, and goes to America.

We never hear from this man again.

Hugh goes to live with his aunt (Augusta/Augustina?), uncle Joseph, and cousins, Edward and Clara.

THEN IT’S 1877 (we jump ten years)

Maisie’s two siblings have died, and she has a daughter, Rachel now. Who is also dying. This movie is very keen on people dying. I’d also like to point out that there is like, endless plots all happening alongside one another, and it took me until mid-way into part two to even really grasp what the main plot is.

The movie has a LOT of bank talk as well. I cannot express this earnestly enough, there is SO MUCH bank chatter. SO MUCH. This thing does not have to be as long as it is but again, bank stuff.

Anyway, the one plot is that Maisie is from the poor area, she’s had a horrible life and has struggled from day one. She’s in a constant battle with Hugh, and they argue a lot. A lot. (They like each other, they met as kids, but they’re from very different worlds. Hugh has money, she doesn’t, but Hugh has suffered as well and basically it’s your normal class struggle social commentary thing).

Maisie and Hugh in 1866, as kids, after Maisie’s father left for America. This is the funeral for Hugh’s father. So that’s the theme I mean.

Anywho.

Back in 1877, this is Samuel *left*, Joseph *middle* and Edward. The Pilaster’s get marched into work like they’re freaking army Captain’s and not just rich ass bankers. Imagine saluting your CEO. At work. Outside of the military. WHERE IS THIS A THING? Maybe this was a thing in Victorian England I have no clue I’ve certainly never come across it in my studies. Ffs.

Anyway.

So while all this is going on, there’s this man that wants to marry Maisie. 

And his name is,

(That’s Rachel, Maisie’s daughter). Anyway, Solly here loves Maisie and wants to marry her. But Maisie loves Hugh, and neither of them realize this yet. Solly is a himbo and we mostly like him, but stay tuned because that doesn’t stick. Sorta. Depends on how-

Nevermind I’ll just keep going.

ANYWAY, more plot.

Here’s Edward again, doing drugs, being gay, and overall..useless. Edward is..Edward is kind of like a person who would make an interesting wall decoration. Fun enough to look at, but utterly freaking hopeless, and useless, and so dumb. Just so dumb. This character is given the substance of ash fault. Kinda like, only vaguely solid enough to be entertaining. Kinda.

I don’t know guys, BUT LOOK!

It’s his good old pal Mickey! And he’s slapped Edward awake out of his drug coma (okay he grabs his face and shakes him rather than slapping but given how much slapping happens in the rest of this movie I think I can be forgiven) and he has PLOTS.

Mostly it’s his dads plot, but it’s a plot. A very devious scheme and he needs our favourite wallpapers assistance!

(Sorry Edward, but it’s true)

So keeping in mind that the ‘theme’ of this movie is bone-and-soul crushing sadness paired with periods of intense chaos and insanity that  you never see coming, our plots continue to thicken.

What Mickey means here, is that Edward’s family denied Mickey’s father what he wanted *weapons deal*, and beat the crap out of Mickey in a carriage. But that’s fine that’s fine Mickey is not deterred! BECAUSE.

*sigh*

So.

OK.

This scene.

Remember what I said about how this movie goes from being incredibly boring to so off the walls bonkers without actually WARNING YOU that it is going to do this? Yeah.

Edward, you see, really does not ‘do’ women. He’s gay. He’s extremely gay. Edward’s mother wants him to marry Florence Stalworthy for idk rich people reasons.

So..Mickey. Uh. Mickey’s solution is..this.

What is this, you ask??

Fuck if I know.

Anyway, no, uhm. This is a brothel. So (not) pictured here (I can’t post the scene on tumblr guys we have a ban) is Edward on a couch across from mask-and-feathers MIckey and this tied down woman, with another woman who is not tied down. And this is Mickey..showing Edward..how to.have sex with women. Apparently. Sort of. His lesson falls very flat. It is not a good scene, Mickey’s ‘instructions’ get increasingly louder, and he at one point makes this noise that sounds like a Joker laugh.

It is...it’s something.

(Also note there’s some extremely uncomfortable, misogynistic name-calling on Mickey’s part here..so yeah).

Oh, and it doesn’t convince Edward. At all. IMAGINE.

Around all this time, the Hugh/Maisie/Solly plot is also ongoing. And that also encompasses bar fighting (bare knuckles boxing and wrestling I think? And gambling)

Hugh has gambling debt we’ll get back to this. (He’s also obsessed with getting Russian bonds into the bank, again, the banking plot losses me a LOT)

So meanwhile, Mickey meets up with Edward’s mother.

But why Edward’s mother, you ask??

Well. *sigh*. Something I didn’t mention earlier is that Mickey likes Ed’s mum. A lot. A lot a lot. Mickey wants to take that woman to town and then some, is a very basic way of me putting it and-

Fuck it. Mickey wants to bang Ed’s mum. BADLY.

(She’s not opposed either, at all)

So their little scheme here is that Ed’s mum wants Ed to take control of the bank, but with the father-in-law alive, that’s not going to happen. So they’re plotting to take down the next person in charge who would succeed said father in law, (Samuel) who is in a relationship with the secretary mentioned above, Michael.

Yes, another GODDAMNED PLOT.

(Samuel is fairly unpleasant like all of these people, so I don’t feel that bad for him. He also kinda treats Michael like garbage, and is called out for this by Joseph later in the movie)

So the scheme here is to get rid of the father-in-law, and get Ed married. Cake walk!

(Also, while ALL THIS is going on, Mickey’s got his own mini-plot about doing these things for his father, the weapons and stuff but we don’t actually find out about the main goal of that whole thing till the end, you’ll see)

Oh, and since we’ve not had a good dose of ‘WHAT THE FUCK’ lately, Solly proposes to Maisie with an honest-to-god Alice in Wonderland party.

Yeah.

Meet the Mad Hatter! He’s a guide, he says nothing. Other people are in costume too, but you know-I have enough caps as it is.

So anyway, Maisie and Solly get engaged, Maisie and Hugh meet up at some point and bang instead. 

And while that’s happening, Edward is convinced by Mickey to marry Florence.

So he does.

Lookit this shit faced smug ass grin.

(Also ahead is Samuel again, and Hugh)

BUT THEN the bank finds out about Hugh’s gambling debts. So he leaves. Taking his cousin Clara (Edward’s teenage sister-at her insistence) to the USA. And just like Maisie’s dad, another man abandons her for the States.

So the father in law is still alive, so! 

It’s murder time.

Perfect wedding time event yeah?

So Mickey murders the father-in-law. (He jumps on him, suffocates him with a pillow, gets caught by Augusta and then they do this..weird ‘tensely make the bed thing’)

Murdered.

And then, exactly five seconds or so later..

Nothing like some murder pre-boning with the dead guy two feet away amiright?

Anyway at this point I was just:

And yelling at my ceiling. Not pictured.

I was a Hannibal fan and I STILL went !?!?!?

END PART ONE.

Part two starts out in 1912, and then cuts back to 1882. So in this messy timeline, note it has been six years since part one. And Hugh is married now to Nora, an American singer, and Clara is older and pregnant. (Father is never determined, but he’s a married man and that’s why Clara didn’t stay)

SO the three of them are returning home. Maisie and Solly have a son, David, and Maisie is depressed and distant, so Solly is the one who spends all the time with David. He’s shown as a legit good dad and it’s quite cute watching them.

(The kids Hugh’s, btw, he and Maisie both know this, Hugh does not, it’s revealed dramatically later but we still have so many plots)

Edward and Florence are childless. Edward doesn’t sleep with her. Everyone knows this.

(At this point I kept asking myself when this would end, I cannot stress how LONG this thing feels at times)

So Hugh and Nora meet up with Maisie and Solly, and they chat and there’s more love plots, more bank plots and a masquerade party where at some point Maisie thinks a little girl at the party is Rachel (who died in the end of part one, sorry!) and there’s a fire and Maisie and Hugh make out and Nora and Solly are both upset and it’s a whole thing.

Samuel now does something of a side business that’s unspecified with Michael, and pregnant Clara is being persued by the only man who might be a good match for her (she’s not keen on getting married. But he’s also..really old.) PLOTS.

And Mickey and Augusta are..still a thing. And Edward being chlidless is becoming an issue. So what is the solution dear friends??

*BANGS HEAD INTO A WALL*

Why the fuck not.

Absolutely flawless! Eddie will NEVER notice.

SO with this plan in motion, Mickey sets out to seduce Florence, Eddie’s neglected wife. He starts in a church, and I have to admit, this one line he gives is quite funny.

“I don’t go to church.”

Cannot begin to imagine why.

Also, around this time is when we get the infamous scene about how he fcked the wives of the three men and then made the guys suck his dick one by one. I didn’t cap that since it’s in gif form, but yeah.

Hugh and Solly and Nora and Maisie are still having their love issues. And there is still bank stuff as all this is going down.

But while on his Florence quest, we see Mickey beat up a guy who was abusing a small boy, and Florence see’s him do this as well and:

He looks so baffled. 

‘Me? GOOD? I really don’t think so.”

She’s also holding a baby, and he gives the infant this face:

“Eugh, what is that?”

He also finds her in church again at some point and comes alongside her like this:

”Sup? Whatcha prayin’ about?”

Anyway, while doing all this, he’s still having some issues. He needs Eddie’s signature for a bank transfer (for his father, his father’s plot is STILL a THING) and so it is time to seduce someone ELSE. This time it’s Edward. This won’t be hard. Edward wants him so bad you could probably see it from fucking space.

Mickey is well aware of this.(I don’t think it’s one sided either, he looks at Edward all wide eyed half the time, but he’s so manipulative it’s hard to judge).

Actually me right now tbh.

So that’s this followed by the infamous gif set.

Edward takes him up on it.

‘Come along my dear there’s nefarious boning to be done’.

Absolutely vital screencap below (which is the most we get anyway and I didn’t cap the line about the freaking signature because fuck plots over nice images okay)

Vital

Anyway Edward gives him the bloody signature. And then Mickey goes along to talk to Augusta. But at this point Mickey is very much beginning to unravel. His goal seems to be more centralized to finishing whatever long ass convoluted job his father has been making him do for the last six years (possibly more tbh) and he’s sort of done with everything.

And Edward see’s this exchange. Le. Oof.

SO! IN BETWEEN ALL THIS. There’s some party where there’s drama and then basically Nora..willing gives up Hugh so he can be with Maisie and Solly just..I don’t even know, single dad for life and all. Edward knows that his family has basically been doing shit all around him, and Mickey STILL seduces Florence. He has her meet him outside that night at two am and they get together, but when he’s with her he kinda has these doubts but she wants him anyway so they bang.

Yeesh.

AFTER that there’s Edward again, because Edward knows shit is up, Mickey goes to a room to grab a bag and see’s Edward there. He tells Edward goodbye, but Edward pulls a gun. Mickey just...drops the bag, tells him to shoot. Edward doesn’t, instead he turns the gun on himself and then Mickey shoots himself in a chair.

Yeah.

DEATH! SADNESS! REMEMBER-THIS MOVIE LOVES DEAD PEOPLE~!

At some point in all this, Augusta goes to her daughter, Clara, apologies for being an absolutely evil mother for her entire life and then the movie sort of begins to wrap up.

Maisie and David were going to leave for the States together, but David wants to stay with Solly, who well DID raise him despite him being Hugh’s kid. So Maisie and Hugh are alone and David lives with Solly and the Pilaster bank has discovered the ACTUAL FREAKING PLOT OF MICKEY’S DAD AND THE ENTIRE BACKGROUND THING. Which was this:

THIS DIDN’T NEED TO BE ALMOST FOUR HOURS, GERMANY.

SO Hugh lets the mob inside. We don’t see what happens after that, but Augusta comes in to tell Joseph Edward shot himself.

Lots of sadness.

So the movie ends in 1912, with David and Hugh meeting up. David never saw Maisie again *she’s deceased now, as is Solly.* they talk, there is some moral lesson or something about love. The goddamned end.

OOF.

SO overall?

I don’t know.

It’s a movie. It has a script and plot and..it was put on screen? The costumes are legitimately amazing. They might be the best thing about this thing. But it REALLY feels like Ken really wanted to make a movie about banking, noticed that’d be boring and tried to make it spicy.

It’s so bizarre. So depressing. So many people are horrible. So many bad things happen. So much slapping, so much weirdness. There’s nothing happy in this thing. Not one. The so called ‘good’-ish ending falls flat amongst a sea of depression and I re-iterate, IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE SO LONG.

I distinctly recall lots of clock watching at times, wondering how I could POSSIBLY have more to go. It then goes so completely off the rails that you just don’t know what is happening and it’s just WEIRD.

At times that weirdness makes it fun, but overall it’s really not great. I probably would never rewatch it, and I can say that it’s an uh, experience in movie-watching.

A good one? I don’t know. But an experience, none the less.

[hockeytrashgoblin]

Ice Cold ~Part 6

A/N: The second part of the night! There’s probably going to be a lot of days/nights where I upload two parts at a time so I can get to the final part by halloween!

I was aware of voices but I couldn't open my eyes. They were hushed voices but I still heard them. I couldn't distinguish at all though who it was. I was vaguely aware that my ears were ringing and that it smelled like William a little bit. As I laid there I was becoming more aware and started shifting. All the voices stopped when I turned over and groaned.

"Where am I?" I mumbled.

"Hi (y/n), would you like some water?"

"No, where am I?"

"You're in my house, it's Morgan by the way."

"Why am I here? Where's William? Is he okay?" I asked panicking, trying to sit up. A cool hand pushed me back to lay down.

"William is perfectly fine, not a scratch on him."

"How is that even possible?"

"I can't tell you that right now."

"You guys really are pulling an Edward Cullen on me."

"Do you want me to get Will? You two should talk before the rest of us."

"Where is William?"

"He's in the other room talking to Auston."

"Oh God..I'm gonna ruin everything again." I said tears slipping out.

"You aren't ruining anything. I'll go get him for you."

"Thank you Morgan." I smiled at him through the tears and he smiled back, rubbing my shoulder before leaving the room. William came in almost immediately.

"Hi baby."

"You better start explaining."

"Can you at least tell me how you're feeling first?" He said sighing.

"I'm fine. Confused as fuck and mad that you weren't here when I woke up."

"I had to talk to Auston. I needed to calm him down. He doesn't want me to tell you any of what I now need to."

"Stop beating around the bush Will. Why am I not dead? Why are you not dead?"

"You already have a pretty good idea of how. You weren't that far off when you brought up Edward Cullen."

"William stop fucking around and just tell me! If you love me like you say you do please just tell me without the half truths."

"Fine. I'm a vampire. Is that better?" He growled making me flinch. His face softened immediately.

"I mean yeah. I'd rather have the truth." I tried to sit up and he pushed me back down. "For God sakes can you let me up so I can look at you? I promise I'm fine." 

"I'm sorry, I'm incredibly worried."

"I just want to look at you William. Please?" He let me sit up this time but just sat incredibly still and quietly. "I have some questions."

"I figured you would. I'm really nervous for this. I don't know why, Morgan has seen how this plays out."

"Then don't be nervous."

"What if you hate me?"

"What if that's never gonna happen?"

"What are your questions?"

"Well okay how come your eyes are normal?"

"They aren't. We all have contact lenses, I have red eyes when I'm thirsty but blue when I'm fed so to keep it consistent we wear them."

"Can I see what they look like without them?"

"Of course. I despise wearing these things anyways. It'll be nice to not have to wear them with you anymore." He took them out and blinked at me with red tinted eyes. "I don't know what they look like right now, I hope not too frightening."

"They're red around the edges that's all. They're kinda cool."

"Kinda cool? Never had that reaction before." He said with a laugh.

"Alright so are you indestructible? It seems like yes."

"Pretty much. Twilight got that part right. Rip apart and burn the pieces. Nothing else can really harm us at all physically and we can't get sick."

"That's good!" I said nodding. "How old are you?"

"I have a different story than most. I was born this way. I only age until mid twenties then I stop."

"How does that work?"

"My parents are ancient vampires. Old royalty can give birth to vampire children. We age a little slower than human children but then we stop forever."

"So your family is pretty powerful then?"

"Are you afraid?"

"No why?"

"Your heartbeat sped up."

"You can hear that?"

"I can hear everything your body does." I blushed making him speak up again. "I'm sorry was that too much? I just want to be completely transparent."

"No, no, you're fine. I want to know everything!"

"Okay I just wanted to make sure. I don't want to overwhelm you."

"I can handle it."

"I know you can, I just worry."

"Are you guys all..you know?"

"You can say vampires (y/n). We don't mind. But yes the 5 of us all are."

"I thought so. You guys were really cliquey when I first met you."

"What do you mean?"

"You always just stuck together. When everyone broke away into smaller groups it was always you 5 and everyone else."

"Oh. Yeah I suppose we do, do that."

"Anyway you didn't answer me. How old are you guys?"

"I've been alive for 36 years but I'm only the equivalent of 24. Morgan is almost 100 years old."

"So Morgan's the leader?" I asked and he nodded before continuing.

"Kappy's almost 70, he joined Morgan about 20 years ago. He was a wild one, I'll let him tell you the story since I know he's been dying to."

"I'd like to hear about it!"

"Auston is around the same age as Kasperi. He was alone until he joined us when he got here. Mitchy is the baby, he was only turned 3 years ago."

"That must be so hard for him. Living with so many people around?"

"It was at first but he's better now."

"That's good. So did they get that part right? Newborn vampires are out of control?"

"Not as bad as twilight makes it sound." He said with a smirk. "But for the first couple months the thirst is intense."

"How did you find your way to Morgan?"

"I didn't like the way my parents worked, how they behaved. They were drunk on the fear people had for them. I don't want to scare people so I ran away when I was about 16 human years old. I started playing hockey and moved to Canada. I got picked up by the leafs and now here I am. I met up with Morgan when I got here in Toronto, I knew of him so I was looking for him."

"What happens to you guys if one gets traded?"

"We just go. We come back here for the off season. A couple years separated is nothing in the grand scheme of things."

"It sounds so simple." I teased.

"It's really not. I'm glad you know now though, that's going to make it much simpler."

"How come you told me?"

"Well I couldn't exactly leave it after my little display outside last night now could I?" He asked snorting.

"Well no but Mitch said you've been arguing with Auston because of a secret you wanted to tell but he didn't. So obviously you've been planning this."

"This is going to sound crazy."

"Crazier than all the rest of this? Try me."

"So you know how Morgan sees stuff?"

"Yeah. Hey do any others have gifts like that?"

"Mitchy can read minds when he stops his hyper shit and concentrates. Other than that none of us can. There are hundreds of powers out there though."

"That's cool!"

"Yes indeed." He murmured smiling warmly at me.

"Stop making my brain melt." I said giggling pushing his shoulder. 

"Anyway back to what I was saying. Morgan saw you coming."

"He saw me?"

"Well he saw you with me."

"What do you mean?"

"Vampires have soulmates. Which sounds nuts because we don't have souls but that's the only way to put it. We're kind of like penguins, stay mated for life. We only have one so if it doesn't work out, that's it and we're alone."

"Oh wow no fucking pressure then!" I said sarcastically.

"Anywaaay." He drawled rolling his eyes with a small smile. "After I joined his coven I guess you'd call it, he started seeing my future. You're in it every step of the way." He finally looked into my eyes at that last part and I melted completely.

"Oh wow."

"Your heart is beating fast again. You're anxious, why?"

"I'm um.. a little overwhelmed I guess?"

"Why?"

"Well I wanted to be around for a long time and I felt like that would happen but to know that you've seen me there.."

"Technically Morgan saw you there. I didn't see anything, I just feel it. I feel very strongly for you."

"I love you." I said moving up the bed to hug him. He was stiff for a minute but then relaxed and held me softly. I pulled back with a smile on my face. "I'm not gonna break if you hold me a little tighter than that."

"I just don't want to push you or anything. This is a lot to take in, I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"William I'm not. Can't you see that? I don't care what you are. I love you and I know you're not going to eat me so it's okay."

"I was wondering when what I eat would come up."

"I'm not worried about it. As long as I'm not in any danger I couldn't care less. You don't demand to know what I eat usually." I said eyeing him up.

"Well if you weren't so stubborn and would eat as much as I know you need to I wouldn't have to ask! You don't take care of your body the way I want you to."

"Whatever I'm trying."

"I know, love. You're doing good."

"Anyway since it's been brought up I am curious about what you eat."

"I eat mostly animals. We all do. Probably twice a month but we need human blood too once a month or so. We use blood bags instead of people. As I said I don't want people scared."

"Wouldn't it be better warm?" I slapped my hand over my mouth in embarrassment. "I'm so sorry ignore me."

"No, I want to know what you're thinking." He pulled my hands down and looked at me pouting with a big smile spreading across his face. "I love it when you blush. You look do cute with red cheeks."

"Stoooop!" I moaned blushing harder.

"Blood is better warm but that's what we get from animals. We don't want drinking human blood to be pleasant."

"That is fair enough."

We were quiet for a minute as I took in what he was saying. I couldn't say I was surprised at all. The way these boys acted and played the game was a little unbelievable. And the way they all looked. Barely human, more angelic looking than anything. I started thinking back at all the weird things like him hearing my phone vibrate in the bar, how fast he got to my house when I was scared, how he never really ate, how he was never cold. It all started making a lot of sense.

"Have I scared you?"

"Are you dumb? I'm not scared of you." I asked giving him a weird look.

"I just wanted to check. Do you think you'd be okay to go talk with the rest of the boys?"

"I'm fine babe. Are you ready for me to go talk with the boys?" I could tell by the way his eyes momentarily went wide that my question caught him off guard.

"Everything I just told you and you're concerning yourself with me?"

"Always." I said taking his hand in mine.

"I'd like you to know if I could blush I would be right now." He said quietly.

"Cute." I said pecking his lips.

"I am worried about you talking to them."

"Why?"

"I'm worried mostly about Auston. He's still mad that you know."

"Auston can fucking bite me." I said bitterly without thinking. "Shit wait no no i don't want that at all I take it back!"

"You're so funny. As if I'd ever let anyone else bite you." He said in a teasing tone.

"Hey, hey, hey, wait! You're planning on biting me?!"

"Not anytime soon. And I'm not planning it at all. Morgan said that he sees that it's your idea completely. You beg for me to do it."

"Not the only thing I'd beg for." I mumbled.

"What?"

"What?" I asked pretending I didn't say anything.

"I literally hear everything (y/n). I know exactly what you said. And you might not want to think stuff like that. I kinda asked Mitch to listen in to see how you would take everything."

"Are you kidding me?! Oh my God!" I smacked my forehead as if that would get the image of me on my knees begging William out of my head. It didn't. I was just more aware of those thoughts which made me think of them more. "I hate it here!" I yelled dramatically falling back on the bed.

"It's not a big deal, he's used to it."

"Yes it is!"

"He's not going to judge you."

"He will!"

"No I won't." Mitch said walking into the room and flopping down on the bed beside me.

"Uuugh." I groaned covering my face with a pillow.

"Nice to see you again too. Willy Morgan wants to talk to you. Something about Aus' bullshit probably."

"Alright. I'll be back soon, love." He got up and left leaving the room silent.

"So you know now huh?"

"Yup."

"You still want us around?"

"What the fuck do you mean?" I pulled the pillow away from my face. "Of course I still want you guys around."

"Sometimes it takes some time to come around that's all. Morgan's girlfriend took forever. She wouldn't see us for like 6 months because she was upset and felt betrayed. You just never know. Well unless you're Morgan."

"So she knows too?"

"Yup she knows everything."

"Does your girlfriend know?"

"No Steph has no idea. I don't think I'll ever tell her honestly."

"Why?"

"I'll tell you some other time."

"Do you think he was wrong to tell me?"

"Absolutely not. Seeing William happy is the best! He hasn't seen what Morgan has seen but I have. Sorry for snooping, it was just exciting! I couldn't help it."

"What does it look like..?" I asked quietly.

"It looks like complete happiness. Everything you've both ever wanted in life is going to come to you. It's kind of really fast moving from here though."

"Do I end up like you guys..?"

"I don't want to tell you the details of your future." He said carefully after considering for a second.

"I don't want to know everything I just want to know if I'm gonna get old and ugly while he stays gorgeous.. " I blushed and Mitch laughed.

"That's such a silly thing to worry about! Don't worry. You're not going to get old and gross. But that's all you're getting from me!"

"That's good enough for me." I said as William walked back in.

"Are you ready to see the guys? They want to talk to you, especially Morgan."

"Yeah sure." I said getting up walking over to him. I hugged him tight around his waist and leaned up to give him a kiss. "Let's go."

"Uh yeah sure." He took my hand and led me down the hallway of the spacious house. I took in my surroundings with awe. The house was beautiful. A perfect balance of dark and light. There was modern furniture but a lot of antiques surrounding it all. When he brought me around the corner I saw all the guys sitting there. Even Mitch which surprised me but then I realized that these guys were faster than anything. Auston looked salty, but he always did.

"(Y/n) please sit." Morgan said with a smile, gesturing to the love seat across from him. I did as I was told while William and Mitch sat on either side of me. "How are you feeling?"

"Um I'm okay. How are you guys?"

"We're well."

"Speak for yourself." Auston mumbled while Morgan sighed.

"For the most part we're well. You've learned a lot of new information today."

"Yeah I have."

"How do you feel about that?"

"Not bad. I have a lot of questions but I don't think I'm in danger so I'm feeling good I think."

"I'm surprised she didn't go into shock." Kasperi teased.

"Come on give her some credit!" Mitch defended. 

"Yeah Kas come on. I'm tougher than that."

"You realize that you knowing this is a big deal don't you?" Morgan asked.

"Of course I do!"

"You realize that means you can't tell anyone right? Not even your dumb photography friend? And especially not your reporter friend?" Auston spit out.

"Obviously I would never ever do that Auston."

"Girls tell secrets."

"Not one like this!"

"How can we know that?"

"Auston you're honestly being ridiculous right now. I would never do that to you guys." I looked at William who was avoiding my eyes. I grabbed his hand desperately trying to keep tears out of my eyes from the confrontation. "Will, baby, you know that don't you? That I would never hurt you and your family like that?"

"I'm a little worried."

"What?!"

"See if he's worried, I should be too." 

I just stayed quiet. Ripped my hand from William's, wiped a tear roughly from my cheek, and crossed my arms. William tried to hold my hand again but I pulled back.

"Don't."

"Guys she's not going to say anything." Mitch said, sounding bored with the whole thing.

"(Y/n) why don't we speak in private?" Morgan said carefully.

"Okay." I got up despite William's protest and went with Morgan to his office.

"I'm sorry about them. They're both idiots." 

"I feel like I'm in trouble in a principal's office." I said laughing with him.

"Well I promise you aren't in trouble at all. I don't know how much William has told you about me.."

"Um he just said you were the oldest, the leader, and that you can see the future but he never elaborated on anything."

"Everything I see is definite. There are no areas where it changes. What I see is what happens. I've never been wrong in my hundred years. This is why I'm so sure that you won't tell anyone anything."

"Even if you didn't see it I'd never tell. It's not my secret to tell."

"The boys are just worried. It's been a long time since we've told anybody. The last one was my girlfriend 2 years ago. The last before that was 65 years ago. Auston and Kasperi have had some bad experiences. Mitch isn't worried because he can see inside everyone's heads. He can see how your mind works, he knows like I do. In fact I can tell you the next time you willingly on your own tell someone about vampires and it's not for another 20 years."

"What exactly does that mean?"

"There will be a time in approximately 4 months that you will say something."

"I don't think I'd share that but I'm not willing to bet against you that I won't. I'm sorry that I do that."

"It's nothing to be sorry about. When you do it, it's out of necessity, survival."

"I'm still sorry."

"I'm sorry that William is being untrusting. It seems Auston has gotten into his head."

"Not a big deal." I shrugged.

"It is. Trust is the most important thing. To know you're not trusted is a punch in the stomach." I raised an eyebrow at him and he continued. "When I got with Tessa and told her everything she didn't trust me right away. She thought I was going to feed off her or change her without permission. It was incredibly difficult."

"It all worked out though right?"

"Yes of course! I promise things will smooth over between you and William."

"Thank you Morgan. I really appreciate it."

"I'm going to let you go since we all have places to get ready to be soon. Mitch will drop you off at your home."

"Thanks. Good luck at the game tonight."

"Thank you. See you later."

"Bye." I let myself out. I didn't like to be told what to do but something about the authority in his voice made me not question or talk back. Mitch was standing down the hall a bit.

"Hey, you ready to go?"

"Absolutely. No offense but I don't want to be here right now."

"That's totally fair. I'm sick of hearing Auston's thoughts right now."

He started towards the door and I followed as close behind as I could manage. Once we got outside I was in awe. I always loved the forest and this was taking forest living to another level.

"How come you're sick of hearing him?"

"I'm always pretty sick of hearing him these days."

"Is it my fault?"

"What no! That's actually a welcome distraction. He's hiding something from me." 

I was looking out the window as we drove but that shocked me enough to look at him. I was very confused and he could probably tell because he snickered at me.

"How the fuck could he do that?"

"He's had experience with people like me. He knows how to block thoughts from me. It's so annoying bro."

"I'd like to learn that." I said thinking back to what William said earlier.

"(Y/n) I couldn't care less what you want to do to William or have him do to you. Be as kinky as you want. I'll tell you what I'm into if that'll help?"

"Uh maybe next time." I said laughing with him.

"In all honesty I could probably help! If he's not doing it right I could tell him how to do it better."

"As sweet as that is Mitchy, I think I'd rather see how he fucks first before I call in mental backup."

"You guys haven't fucked yet?"

"No. He didn't want to while there was still secrets."

"That's nice of him I suppose. I could never do that."

"I like that he's patient. I've been through a lot of bad stuff with men.." before I could stop thinking Mitch interrupted me as we pulled into my driveway.

"I'm so fucking sorry that happened to you." He pulled me into a hug and I let a tear slip out.

"It's okay, it's done."

"It might be done but it haunts you. Have you told Willy?"

"Not yet. I will before I sleep with him though. I don't want secrets either. But now I don't know if I even should. If he can't trust me, can I trust him?"

"Auston is in his head. That's literally all it is. Wills deep thoughts know and trust you. His surface thoughts are frazzled."

"Well he's being shitty and can honestly just get fucked." I said making him laugh.

"That's fair."

"I'll see you guys tonight!"

"We'll be listening for you."

"Sorry what?" I asked half out of the car.

"William is going to want to know when you get there. So he's gonna listen for your voice and I'll be listening for your thoughts. Just to calm him down."

"Well in that case I'm gonna talk shit and think get fucked the whole time." I said laughing with him.

"I can't wait to play hockey with an angry William."

"See ya." I got out of the car and went to my house. I cried a little but then got ready to go.

[derl30]

ALTERED STATES REVIEW TIME!

OK, this tumblr is, today, a vehicle for me to review ALTERED STATES. And you (the one person who stumbled on this review two-hundred years from n- oh who am I kidding, when the aliens from A.I. who show up to thaw out Haley Joel Osment and the teddy bear who was the real hero of that movie find this) should be very excited about this. Because this movie is insane. And highly entertaining.

Yes, the movie poster looks like ass. If I told you this was a movie where William Hurt (not the William Hurt from that awful 90's Lost in Space remake, or the one who slept through an entire performance as Duke Leto in the Syfy miniseries of Dune. This is before the body snatchers got him) took ayahuasca and got in a isolation tank and it blew his mind so hard he started devolving into a neanderthal and creating dimensional portals and he couldn't stop because he was addicted to finding the truth of existence... Well you wouldn't get that from this poster, would you? So let's move on. Shall we?

The film opens in 1967 with William Hurt's character, psychopathologist Edward Jessup, already immersed in a sensory deprivation tank, whilst his colleague and “buddy” Bob Balaban (he's just Bob Balaban in everything I'm not giving you his character's name look it up yourself if it's bugging you so much) oversees.

Now, you may notice I put buddy in quotes. The reason for that is that Jessup is a self-obsessed ass who seemingly has no reason to be around other people unless he can expound to them one of his various monologues. Bob Balaban barely gets a word in edgewise throughout the entire film. Bob Balaban.

See, Jessup loves the sensory deprivation tank experience. Unsurprisingly, as it allows him to be completely alone with himself for hours.

Later, at perhaps the lamest party ever, a bunch of faculty are chilling out and listening to the Doors. Everyone we see is talking about Jessup. Why? Well, much as Jessup is obsessed with himself, everyone else seems to follow suit by being obsessed with him. One young woman, Emily, (Blair Brown) is introduced to him in this very shot below as he arrives at the party:

Notice how is framed in holy light? There is a closeup after, of him framed in blinding glowing light followed up with a zoom in on Emily's face, enraptured with this incredible dynamic man. So much so that the moment he tries to make a goddamn sandwich she starts grabbing his celery (get your mind out of the gutter) and flirting with him. Which for these two that means talking science, immediately. Talking more at each other than with each other. This is often the way with Paddy Chayefsky's scripts.

PAUSE

Paddy Chayefsky is doubtless one of the great American writers for the screen. He wrote Marty, The Hospital and Network (which is a fucking incredible piece of work). He got an Oscar for all three. He also wrote this movie (Altered States, remember? Good lord) and disowned it completely three weeks in to production. His scripts tend to have very intelligent, driven characters at the center, who monologue extensively at each other. These scripts are not attempting to sound naturalistic.

Ken Russell, however, directed the film. He, like Chayefsky, is top notch at what he does (Direct. I said he directed the film like a second ago, come on keep up). His films, like Women in Love, The Devils, (which was banned in several major countries upon release and has never been shown publicly in its full, uncut form (by the way it's a masterpiece)) the Who's Tommy, Gothic, and Lair of the White Worm are all fucking gonzo nuts. I mean like, when you gave this guy the reins, you were going to Overthetopsville and there will be no stops on this trip. And god bless! I love directors who GO for it!

You're getting the chance to make a movie. Stop hemming and hawing and hit me over the head with what you want to say! Film is a visual medium, USE IT!

I feel I might have made my feelings clear here. So, moving on...

Ken Russell and Paddy Chayefsky immediately started butting heads, right from the start. Chayefsky was a BIG deal, and he wanted control over the picture in a BIG way. Ken would listen to his suggestions on everything to lighting and set dressing, and politely tell him, “No.”, and continue being the director of the film. Chayefsky hated him pretty quickly.

He had much more control over films like The Hospital. Which, if you watch The Hospital, well, it shows. You've got great actors (George C. Scott, Dame Diana Rigg (Dame may be the greatest official title of all time)) saying great dialogue. But its just two very witty bitter people sort of expounding on topics and speaking at each other and suddenly admitting they are in love and discussing what drapes they will have to buy for their new home. It's utterly preposterous, and it doesn't work in the way Sidney Lumet got it to work in Network, by literally making one of the lead characters realize his life is turning into a ludicrous soap opera.

So of course Ken tried to humanize, naturalize, the dialogue sequences. And it works! The film feels more human than the Hospital or Network. Despite the fact that Jessup is literally becoming more and more inhuman throughout the film. One of the ways he does this is by having the character's eat, drink, and work on other things during the dialogue sequences. This is perfectly normal in film, it's called giving the actor “business” to do, during the scene. Chayefsky HATED this. “They are mumbling my precious dialogue! Chewing through it! Sucking it through a straw!” Sorry, Chayefsky buddy. It works for the picture. Chayefsky also felt the actors were too emotional with his dialogue. Right. See, they call that acting.

UNPAUSE

Which brings us back to the first meeting of Emily and Jessup at the party. They are eating during this important scene! I can just picture Chayefsky seeing this, and running to the studio brass to tattle and get Ken Russell fired (as he got Arthur Penn of Bonnie and Clyde fame fired before Ken Russell came on board).

Emily and Jessup are, true to Chayefsky form, extremely intelligent, driven people and hearing them discuss topics such as anthropology and schizophrenia is quite interesting. It's just that what is to come, film being a visual medium, will eclipse just about any dialogue, no matter how good, from our mind thingys.

The two give up on the science talk and go straight to banging on her couch. After, she asks what he was thinking about. His answer is priceless. “God. Jesus. Crucifixions.”

She smiles.

Bwahahaha! Oh Paddy Chayefsky, you sure know women.

He admits he used to have religious visions. She listens to him from the sweaty couch whilst he sits naked on the floor, and starts going on about his father's horrible death of cancer and his loss of faith. And he admits to her that he's a nut. Her response is to call him a fascinating bastard. I think Lucas may have taken notes for Padme and Anakin.

So naturally, they get married immediately.

But none of that matters because Jessup gets back in the sensory deprivation tank and has his first vision. A nightmare of his dying father and lost faith in christianity. It's pretty great, filled with foreboding hospital rooms, his father's face being covered in a burning Shroud of Turin, everything covered by horrible blood red clouds and then THIS FUCKING THING SHOWS UP AND ITS ALIVE AND WRIGGLING

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

excuse me...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

The many-eyed goat is slaughtered over a gold bible and suddenly Jessups screwing Emily again and we enter a blood vessel looking thing and the vision ends and he never mentions this again. Oh. Okay,

Emily continues on about what a nut Jessup is as they make marriage plans. Her monologue:

“You're an unmitigated madman. You don't have to tell me how weird you are. I know how weird you are. I'm the girl in your bed the past two months. Even sex is a mystical experience for you. You carry on like a flagellant... Which can be very nice, but I sometimes wonder if it's me that's being made love to. I feel like I'm being harpooned by some raging monk in the act of receiving God. (Emphasis mine)

"And you are a Faust-freak Eddie! You'd sell your soul to find the great truth. Well, human life doesn't have great truths. We're born in doubt. We spend our lives persuading ourselves we're alive. And one way we do that is we love each other, like I love you. I can't imagine living without you. So let's get married, and if it turns out to be a disaster, it'll be a disaster.”

It's a disaster.

As in, by the next scene. It starts off happy enough looking, they have kids and people are smiling. And hey, wow it's seven years later! But, well, see, whoops, they are getting a divorce. Well, not they. See, he is divorcing her because he considers the seven years with her a complete waste.

She still loves him, desperately. He doesn't give a shit about her or the kids. He tells Bob Balaban this, straight up. And then starts bugging him about deprivation tanks and Hinchi Indians in South America who have sacred mushrooms that can really fuck you up.

It's at this point you would like for Jessup to be hit by a Mack truck. But the movie continues on. By the way, this is one of the kids he doesn't give a crap about:

That's right. Drew Barrymore's first role is a kid that William Hurt doesn't give a shit about. Something that William Hurt would make a career out of with narcoleptic performances in Lost in Space and Syfy's Dune. So, Emily takes the kids to Africa for her anthropology work while Jessup goes to South America to go deeper into his own creepy mind.

The Hinchi Indians agree to allow him to participate in the drug ritual. They enter their holy cave.

This shot is beautiful. At this point the film becomes increasingly gorgeous. Ken Russell has started to go into overdrive, ladies and gentlemen. Buckle. Your. Seatbelts.

The Indians grab Jessup's hand and cut him, freaking him out. They pour his blood into the drug mixture. They begin to drink. Then he takes a sip. The intensity of the film here has quadrupled. The vision begins, fireworks going off all around him. He sees cave paintings of humans and komodo dragons and this:

The proper life he left behind with Emily. He's convulsing, sweating. The Indians are all around, masked. Snakes. He's laughing in pain. Energy spills from the void. A snake under the parasol strikes and begins to strangle him. He and Emily march toward a nuclear explosion as energy pours from the cut on his hand, becoming a lizard. From within a sandstorm, Emily watches him, naked. Jessup looks at her, entranced, as the soothing sands cover them both, slowly.

It's a beautiful sequence. A perfect film sequence. I can't overstate how strong the vision sequences are from this point forward. Great visual effects work and the madman mind of Ken Russell create something unforgettable, with it's own pace, independent from the rest of the film.

Jessup awakens with a komodo dragon laying before him, ripped to pieces. The Indians and the others all claim he killed it in rage. Jessup remembers nothing, takes samples of the drug to reproduce it, and goes back home.

Back home, Jessup keeps doing as much of the drug as he can and having Bob Balaban record results. They can't up the dosage any more so Jessup hops back in to the self deprivation tank to create a more extreme experience.

In his next session, Jessup states he is having a vision of early man, hunting a deer and killing it. Suddenly he states he is one of them, killing the deer. He begins to grunt like an animal. The two pull him out. He's incredibly pale, blood seeping out of his mouth. He can't speak, and has difficulty breathing. He insists they do an X-ray. It shows that there is a vocalizing lump in the front part of his throat. Jessup claims that his body had begun to revert to a simian state. The medical doctor agrees, stating the throat X-rays looks like that of a gorilla.

Luckily his throat returns to normal. So Jessup finishes up his day by having over a student of his and sleeping with her.

Our hero, people!

At this point we hardly feel sorry for him as his body suddenly begins to twist and bulge in the middle of the night, shifting in and out of neanderthal shapes. It's a horrific sequence, disturbing as hell. You certainly didn't expect the film to shift into body horror.

Jessup feels normal after a while. but sees visions of lava explosions, the birthing of the Earth all around him. Not a good sign.

He goes to pick up Emily from the airport the next day. She asks how he is doing.

“Oh, fine.”

Yeah right.

Emily has been told what Jessup has been doing and is worried, which of course pisses off Jessup even more. The guy is obviously obsessed with reaching the truth and root of existence, much as Emily surmised earlier, and we see he has no fear of even losing his own soul, again true to her word. The only thing that allows us to give a shit about him at this point is that Emily cares for him and she's decent people, okay?

So back Jessup goes into the tank with his ayahuasca or whatever it is. Alone. The tank door opens from the inside.

The hand that pushes it open is covered in thick hair. He's devolved.

Ape-Jessup escapes the tank room and chases a janitor around the building. Again, this scene is fucking freaky as hell. We can't get a good look at this screaming animal that was Jessup.

The janitor gets a guard to help and chases after him into the boiler room, where we finally get a good look at him when he assaults the security guard and escapes.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Ape-Jessup runs through the city at night, making his way to the zoo where he kills a antelope and eats it. The Ape-Jessup sequence goes on way too long, but is nonetheless unforgettable. The makeup is much more convincing than the above picture suggests, and whoever performed Ape-Jessup did an admirable job.

The cops find an unconscious Jessup in the zoo and bring him in. Emily picks him up and questions him. Jessup admits everything that he can remember. He also admits that he probably killed that security guard. And once again doesn't seem to give a shit. Prick. He calls it the most supremely satisfying time of his life.

Even Emily seems disgusted with him. But, she's also fascinated with what he's accomplished. As an anthropologist, his transformation fascinates her. And so, she agrees to help oversee his next session. Big mistake.

Before the big session Emily and Jessup romantically reconnect, and then into the climactic session we go!

Get your popcorn ready!

After a few hours in to the session, the video monitor shows Jessup begin to literally melt apart like goo, reverting to primordial ooze, the very beginning of existence. An attempt to open the isolation tank doors blasts everyone unconscious, as light and energy pour forth. Emily is the only one left. She sees Jessup's life energy pulse from within the tank.

Rain pours down around them. The pipes on the walls twist and turn like jelly. The ground is covered with a pool of swirling fog and energy. Emily advances toward the vortex of the tank.

In the emptiness of the beginning of everything, Emily seizes the energy before her and reconstitutes Jessup.

They take him home. While he sleeps, Emily rages over the fact that she loves such a insane bastard, and can't get over him. And, then, after Bob Balaban leaves, leaving Emily alone, Jessup wakes up.

He sweetly admits that the truth he learned was that there was no learnable truth, just unknowable horror, and all that's real is human experience. And he'll be a good boy from now on. Well too bad!

Because that horrible truth isn't done with him, and it's back to goo-Jessup! Emily tries to help him, grabbing him, but this in turn effects her, turning her into a shimmering lava form of herself. Both of them begin to self-destruct as Jessup, enraged, watching her in pain, struggles to retake his humanity, slamming himself into the wall, reforming himself through sheer will and physicality. He grabs her and brings her back, mirroring what she did for him during the final session. They embrace naked in the hallway. He finally admits, “I love you, Emily.”

Fade to credits.

Awww true love!

What can I say to sum up? Awesome 80's practical effects. Genius wacko go-for-it Ken Russell directing. Out of this world vision sequences. A awake and actually remarkable performance from William Hurt. An occasionally turgid but often fascinating script by the ever ornery Paddy Chayefsky. Whats not to like?

Well, the ending is a little rushed. The ape sequence goes on for a little too long and takes up perhaps too much of the films overall running time. The central love story is, well... a little hard to swallow, but hey, I guess there really is somebody out there for everyone. Even self-absorbed, deadbeat, cheating, sensory deprivation loving, ayahuasca dropping, Harvard teachers with a messiah complex!

And on that note, aliens from A.I. Artifical Intelligence, have a good day, and don't leave poor Teddy alone with no one to keep him company!

Sayonara!

[ianthedisastrous]

Write your RPer Resolutions for 2021! (What are some goals for yourself as a writer? Improve descriptions? Plot with more members? Etc.)

Plotting! Mostly for Edward because the boy needs more to do! He's got an entire life to learn how to live. But, admittedly I have a habit of having two or three threads for a character at a time, which works best for me so far as my plot-intensive habits but not so great at interacting with a wide range of characters. I need to figure out a good midpoint because I have a lot plotted but I'm usually waiting to actually start things.

Win that battle with events. Because the truth is about 70% of my event threads become full fledged discord threads that keep going for weeks after the event. Probably need to work on focusing on specific plans for events in discord rather than scattering myself too much. It's more fun that way but I'm playing catch up a lot after the fact. And while I don't mind that, it probably gets things hung up for other people?

Meet the newer people! I'm slacking a bit on this and need to plot with several of them. Not for lack of wanting to, more for, again, that I have that determination to focus on a handful of threads at a time. Which is fine, except that with the sheer amount of characters in the RP it's going to take me years at this rate to make connections with them. So new people! Focus on them!

Write at least one resolution, or “goal,” that you have as an RPer for your character(s)

Ian: My earnest child, my endearing, emotional, confused boy. How I adore him. How much I put him through some real hell. But the next year is all about Ian growing up some, figuring out what he wants and trying to weed out some of the static of expectations on him. Also very much about him reaffirming his place in relationships, friendships and just with people in general.

I keep mentioning magic so that's a goal; he doesn't like it but he has to learn. And with so many new and upcoming magic connections possible it's the perfect chance to shake up his stubbornness.

Teach this boy how to stop being a hazard on social media. He doesn't even try to cause problems! But every time Ian does anything on Twitter he manages to start an argument - honestly his snarking with Tony doesn't even count but everyone else? Why are you such an instigator Ian! His social media skills are hilariously messy and he's so much with a screen to hide behind. Among Us is a whole other area too. Ian is always in the middle of some bizarre online drama and I love it...but somebody take his phone away though, please.

Edward: My over the top, entranced, confused child. He's so much fun, just so much everything. He's also blindly in motion right now and that's normal for him but not helpful. He's got plots for a job lined up, a few missteps along the way and a lot of the excessive sort of drive he tackles everything with.

I've got to get this boy to slow down a little, he's enjoying it all but responsibility is something Edward struggles with and that's a battle worse than dragons and curses he's going to have to face down.

Write at least one resolution IN CHARACTER for your characters. What do THEY want to accomplish or change in the New Year?

Ian: Struggling to come to terms with his own missteps in understanding himself. Fear has led him to hiding even being an elf and the next year he's determined to reconnect with that, even as nervous as he is to approach the idea of exposure given his childhood being so riddled with prejudice. The way he's handled some things have been wrong and he's starting to reach the emotional maturity to understand that.

Edward: As hilariously weird as it is? Edward is determined to learn enough about modern fashion to not require poor Barbie to pick out all his clothes. He feels bad asking her to basically dress him for every event. As much as he appreciates it he really does want to learn to do these things by himself.

List one or more characters you have never interacted with that you would like to do so.

Everyone my boys haven't met? Can I say that?

I guess more specifically? Ian needs to meet some of the more seasoned sorcerers out there, and I'd love for him to meet Howl because only knows of him but still finds him so intimidating. Ha.

Edward needs to meet more Magicks! He is fascinated by magic so he is very curious. I'd actually like for him to meet Marlin, because...fae and that's something Edward hasn't realized is real yet, and that man would probably find him frustrating. Same thing for Jun; really need to see Edward asking poor Jun a million questions around the market.

Plotting Exercise! Pick one of the resolutions/goals in #2 and plan a rough guide outlining it. 

Vanessa's less than helpful (but admittedly effective) attempt to teach Ian what should be a simple spell.

Ian's complaints over his lack of ability to control magic gains the attention of Vanessa, who still is confused over his odd regents.

Vanessa convinces him (a bit forcefully) to let her show him a simple spell. Her end goal of course is bringing this weird boy into the coven she's building but first things first, right?

After demonstrating, several times, a basic telekinetic motion spell - Ian assures her that telekinesis is in fact where most of his magic lies - she urges him to try.

None of his attempts go anywhere. Literally. The glass he's supposed to be moving off the table in the common area outside the dorms where they've opted to practice this spell in doesn't move an inch.

Vanessa gets progressively more frustrated. Ian just stresses worse, leaving them both at a standstill. This becomes an ongoing project; day after day for weeks. No foreseeable end in sight.

Finally, a few weeks in, Vanessa hits a breaking point and can't help but yell at him over it, setting off a panic attack and, amusingly, causing his magic to flare defensively; the lash of it knocks the table across the room. The glass still doesn't move, aside from falling to the ground.

But it's close enough to a victory and Vanessa appoints herself to helping Ian with his ongoing magic studies, much to the inward dismay of Ian himself. But she isn't going to let him slink out of it.

Ian reluctantly adds yet another person 'helping' him to the list of ones who really do mean well but also kinda exhaust him.

[finding-the-daylight]

It’s been a real fucking stressful week so I’m finally gonna be drunk-watching and reviewing Breaking Dawn Pt. 2. However, I will likely only be slightly drunk(ish) (if at all) because I’m all out of liquor and only have one beer at the moment, but hopefully it’ll be enough to counteract how terrible this movie is lmao. As usual, here is what I remember from the movie the first (and only) time I ever watched it: 

1. The battle scene happened but it was all in Alice’s vision and never actually happened.

2. Imprinting bullshit that none of us want to talk about. Let’s pretend it never happened.

3. Some weird dude makes fake IDs on demand.

4. All the vampires with cool powers get together, yet, sadly, they do not take down the Volturi to form a better, democratic government.

My thoughts as I’m watching are below the break: 

- The opening credits triggered a forgotten feeling of sadness. Was it sadness over a terrible plot or sadness over the series being over? I couldn’t tell you.

- This fucking soundtrack excuse me. The orchestral opening piece? BEAUTIFUL. I want to choreograph a ballet to this. Or do the TikTok twerk challenge to it. Idk. 

- I’m actually kind of sad that this was the last movie and it hasn’t even started yet. Most of the plot is shit and smeyer wrote some horrible garbage, but I want more of this universe. Can some of y’all who are creative write the next book and not be racist or sexist? Thank you.

- Fuck this part of the soundtrack I’m literally going to cry.

- I can’t believe smeyer produced this movie. Who let her? 

- When Bella opens her eyes that shit makes me want to be a vampire @Carlise. 

- Her first instinct is to grab Edward’s arm I’m crying. They love each other so much and it’s so fucking pure. I hate how they look at each other. It makes me sick but it’s all I want.

- This is the most relaxed Edward has been in any of the movies.

- LITERALLY HOW COOL WOULD IT BE TO SEE A FLOWER BLOOM LIKE THAT?!?

- I WANNA JUMP OVER A DAMN WATERFALL

- I actually feel really bad for this deer and I wish they did eat mosquitos :(((((

- Edward’s so proud of her for her control. He loves her so much.

- OMG I FORGOT SHE SAVED THE DEER WE LOVE TO SEE IT SAVE THE  DEER BELLA

- aww fuck no now they’re gonna talk about the imprinting bullshit. I won’t even comment on this because y’all already know my thoughts. We hate it and we hate canon and smeyer is fucked up for what she wrote.

- Carlisle looking fine as fuck as usual, thank you. I don’t love the hairstyle here, but he’s still fire.

- Rosalie looks so happy and we love to see it. She deserves it.

- EMMETT AND ROSALIE ARE INSTIGATING THIS FIGHT AND AS FUCKE UP AS THIS STORYLINE IS I LIVE FOR THEM BOTH AND I LOVE IT LMAO

- THE WAY JACOB SAYS “OH” SENT ME THE FUCK LMAOOOOOO

- Emmett loves this fight and I love Emmett

- Damn Edward’s actually openly being turned on by something for once in his life

- The Loch Ness monster line isn’t that funny anymore tbh. I did not laugh.

- There was a lot of quivering.

- Bella literally said we’re gonna keep going for the rest of eternity. 

- Everyone knows when they get back. So far, Emmett is my favorite in this movie lmao. Even Carlisle who’s always sick of his kids’ shit cracked a smile.

- Poor Charlie. They’re about to tell him she died and they’re all moving.

- Jacob’s about to go tell his secret to Charlie and then shit gets lit. I remember this part now. 

- Taylor deserved an oscar for this scene. This movie might have been trash, but his conversation with Charlie deserved all the awards.

- “Jacob put your on clothes on” fucking SENT ME LMAOOOOO.

- Charlie’s so confused, poor man.

- Jacob straight up invited Charlie over with no warning while Bella was a newborn vampire lmao. 

- I LOVE ESME AND CARLISLE SO MUCH

- The way Carlisle opened the door and said “Hello Charlie” did something to me. I wish my name was Charlie.

- Charlie’s so happy to see Bella though. I’m happy Jake told him tbh. 

- Poor Charlie now he’s all upset because he saw Jacob turn into “a very large dog” and he’s concerned about what this means for Bella.

- She finally called Charlie dad and hugged him like she loved him.

- EDWARD TOLD CHARLIE THE TRUTH THAT RENEMEME WAS THEIR DAUGHTER HOLY SHIT I FORGOT

- Emmett really is my fave in this movie lmaoooo. 

- Everyone is laughing and smiling instead of being all depressed. We lov to see it. This is my favorite scene in any of the movies now. 

- When Bella said she was born to be a vampire, it would’ve been way more effective to start playing “Born to Die” by Lana Del Rey tbh.

- Irina’s about to go tattle-tale to the Volturi. Tbh I’d be pissed too after what those racist fucks did to Laurent. He wanted to join the Cullens and adopt their lifestyle. And by racist fucks, I mean smeyer and the writers of the screenplay.

- Aro is such a dramatic bitch.

- Carlisle could read me the damn phone book and I would listen.

- Honestly smeyer is fucked up the fuck up and I’m starting to think she nejoys writing about children losing their childhood. The immortal children storyline is one of the most fucked up parts of canon and we really need to expose it more. 

- Carlisle and Esme are so damn cute. 

- Uh-oh Sammy boy’s there. Jasper and Alice just bounced? I completely forgot about this.

- The fucking volvo.

- Okay SUPER BIG FUCKING PLOTHOLE HERE. So when they were in Alaska, Edward basically said Renememe had a beating heart so like, wouldn’t the Volturi be able to hear it? Wouldn’t that end the battle before it ever started? Smeyer really just wrote shit without thinking it through lmao.

- We hate to see all the cultural appropriation but we love Rami Malek.

- Senna and Zafrina are STUNNING and the fact that Smeyer wrote them as being anything else is a fucking crime.

- I don’t remember this Garrett hoe but I’ve seen a lot of memes about him so I think he’ll be my second fave in this movie next to Emmett. He’s high key a bitch though for treating people how he did.

- Yeah, I’m with Jacob on this one. The red-eyed bitches don’t need to be killing people. ALSO FUCK SMEYER’S RACIST SHIT AGAIN. MORE WOLVES DUE TO MORE BIOLOGICAL WARFARE THIS IS BULLSHIT SMEYER.

- Garrett really fell in love with this bitch Kate and said idc what you do to me, just do it.

- HOLY SHIT THE NEW WOLVES ARE KIDS KIDS. THEY’RE LIKE 6 OR 7. Y’ALL. WHAT THE EVERLIVING FUCK??? GOING BACK TO WHAT I SAID ABOUT THE IMMORTAL CHILDREN THING. THE POINT STILL STANDS.

- Vladimir and Stefan are EXACTLY the vampires I’ve been waiting on. OVERTHROW THIS MONARCHY OLD ASS SHIT AND FORM THE DEMOCRATIC GOVERNMENT. This scene made me like Carlisle slightly less, but in my headcanon he did want to overthrow the Volturi. I would still stare at him all day and listen to him read the phonebook. But he could’ve been a little more badass. It wouldn’t have hurt.

- Edward actually grew a pair and asked everyone to fight. 

- Is Aro’s hair different in this movie? It looks different and I kinda love it.

- I hate the Volturi and all of them for varying reasons, but I do love Aro’s dramatics.

- Emmett is living for Edward being shocked by Kate which is why, again, he is my fave in this movie lmao.

- Bella reading to Renememe is the sweetest moment in this movie and it deserves more love.

- “Yeah I just do it so much better.” This cocky bastard.

- FINALLY. HE ADMITS HE UNDERESTIMATES HER. THANK YOU HOE. 

- When Jake and Bella are laughing together it makes me smile. It’s so genuine.

- Sue knows what’s good. I can see it in her eyes lmao.

- Alice was smart af though for hiding that clue for Bella. 

- JENKS. That’s the dude’s name that makes the fake IDs.

- “Unusually well-preserved” that’s one way to put it lmao.

- This is so sad. Bella thinks she and Edward will die.

- LOOK AT ALL THOSE BENJIS SHE’S STUFFING INTO BACKPACKS@ BELLA PLEASE PAY OFF MY STUDENT LOAN DEBT 

- Alistair is such a bitch. Why is he even here?

- This little house looks so cozy for Christmas. This is all I want.

- I love the Clearwater family so much and they deserve nothing but our love and respect.

- I FUCKING LOVE GARRETT. “NAME ANY AMERICAN BATTLE I WAS THERE.” LMAOOOOO

- “No one does rebellion like the Irish.” I love this guy too lmao.

- DAMNNNNN 1500 years waiting on revenge?????? They really could’ve overturned the Volturi in favor of a democracy but Carlisle was too damn diplomatic. But he’s still my fave.

- They did Kristen’s eyebrows dirty in this movie.

- Garrett loves Kate so much and it’s so pure. 

- Emmett and Rosalie look so sweet.

- “THE REDCOATS ARE COMING” LMAOOOO I REALLY DO FUCKING LOVE GARRETT AN AWFUL LOT.

- Look @ the Volturi dramatic asses wearing cloaks and shit. Hoe. It’s the 2000s. Not the 1600s. Fix your shit. If a human saw you, you’d expose the secret you’re supposedly trying to keep.

- When Carlisle raised his voice though.

- BUT THIS IS THE BULLSHIT I’M TALKING ABOUT SMEYER PULLING. TALKING ABOUT HOW RENEMEME HAS A BEATING HEART. BITCH. THE VOLTURI WOULD’VE HEARD IT AND KNOWN. NONE OF THIS FUCKERY WAS EVER NECESSARY. SMEYER’S ASS IS MORE DRAMATIC THAN ARO, AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY.

- Bella tried to shield Edward but it wouldn’t stretch all the way to where he was :(((((

- I deadass would not let my child anywhere near Aro period. It would’ve been on sight at this point and the Volturi would’ve been cleared out for democracy.

- I wish Edward would just punch this hoe.

- OH MY GOD I FORGOT ABOUT THE LAUGH THAT IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT

- Jacob seems more concerned than Edward and Bella and that’s really a problem for me. Her parents should’ve torn Aro a new one and that’s on period.

- Bella’s protecting all of them. YAAASSS QUEEN. DEFEAT THESE BTICHES.

- Aro basically verified the headcanon that Gen Z would expose vampires lmaoooo.

- Alice and Jasper save the day.  

- CARLISLE FINALLY SNAPPED YAAAASSSS. BEAT THESE HOES ASSES.

- ESMEEEEEEEEEE

- SAM AND THE BOYS ARE READY TO FUCKIN FIGHT NOW TOO. NO ONE FUCKS WITH CARLISLE.

- This whole fight scene is intense but I already know that none of it really happened and it was all a vision so I’m kind of just tuning it out lmao. 

- Y’all weren’t playing. When they get Seth that shit really does hurt.

- Alright I’m over this. They’re dragging it out. I’m fast-forwarding lmao. 

- YEAH BITCH, BELLA WOULD GET YOUR ASS SO YOU BETTER STOP WHILE YOU CAN.

- OKAY LITERALLY ALSO FUCK THIS STORYLINE NOW I’M PISSED AGAIN I JUST REMEMBERED SMEYER IMPLIED THIS HOE WAS GONNA COME BACK AND FIGHT JACOB FOR RENEMEME WHEN SHE WAS LEGAL IDK IF IT’S IN THE MOVIE IF IT IS Y’ALL FINNA HEAR ABOUT IT AND OF COURSE HE’S INDIGENOUS TOO BECAUSE SMEYER’S GOTTA BE RACIST AS FUCK.

- BUT ANYWAY. Nahuel is actually cool af. Like most of smeyer’s characters, he deserved better.

- Good boy Aro, just walk the fuck away. 

- I really wish Carlisle would’ve just listened to Stefan and Vladimir and kicked the Volturi’s asses. 

- Everyone is so happy and in love. We love to see it. #simpasshoesfandom

- THIS SOUNDTRACK FUCKING SLAPS. THE CLOSING SONG BEFORE THE MEADOW/AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MEADOW IS A JAM.

- Oh fuck here we go with the flashback. I’m gonna cry for sure. It really would’ve been better with Flightless Bird American Mouth though.

- Damn I’m actually crying. #simpasshoesfandom 

- She showed him all her thoughts and love for him I’m crying. 

- “NOBODY’S EVER LOVED ANYBODY AS MUCH AS I’VE EVER LOVED YOUUUUUUU”

- FOREVERRRRR 

- MY HEART

- THE END CREDITSSSSSS

Ummm. So I really thought I would hate this movie. It is mostly problematic as fuck. But some parts of it were good. Like it had funny moments and sad moments and simp moments and it was not awful. Content wise I rate it like a 3/10. Overall rating I give it like an 8/10. If smeyer’s fucked up shit didn’t get in the way of the movie, it could’ve been a 10/10. 

HOW THE PAGES OF THE BOOK OPEN TO REVEAL THE MAIN CHARACTERS’ NAMES I’M CRYING

[multifandomaddictedfangirl]

The Vampire Diaries Thoughts & Opinions (rewatch)

S1 :

OMG I completely forgot how cheap was this show! The dialogues in s1 feels so forced and fake 🤮 Not to blame the actors, but sometimes it feels really unnatural, like you know you’re in a fantasy young adult tv show. It doesn’t feel like real life, like what real people would do/say. It’s too obnoxious and dramatic and... overly intense ?? 😕 Rewatching it, it might be the biggest flaw of the early seasons 🤷‍♀️

They all look SO YOUNG tough 😳

Mmmm... Stefan acts like a total creep in s1, it’s really giving me Twilight vibes 😅 like if I was Elena/Bella, I would be terrified of Stefan/Edward ! 😰 They’re creepy and stalky and weirdly intense / edgy about ordinary stuff... Their entire personality screams : “I AM A VAMPIRE AND I CANNOT CONTROL MYSELF AROUND YOU” which... #yikes 🤔

Caroline Forbes is my favorite character of the entire show, I love her SO much ❤️ “I’m never the one” is still one of the most powerful lines, for me, and I loved her characterisation throughout the show

Matt has been irrelevant since s1 🙄, honestly he was maybe funny/quirky in the double-date episode and regarding his relationship with Caroline (while not having moved on from Elena)...? But that was like a couple of episodes and apart from that he was just useless. I do not understand why he stayed alive that long

Jeremy.... oh Jeremy 😔 He was... such a cliché! He was what adults see as the “typical” rebellious edgy teenager who does nothing of his life except smoking weed. And no, I don’t like that caricature. His relationship with Vicky... 🤷‍♀️ I mean, sure, it was sweet that he cared for her that way and that he saw more in her than just the “stoned-ass trashy girl” 💁🏻‍♀️ that she was supposed to embody. But Jeremy really acted like “The Nice Guy”and it seemed like he was expecting something for being nice with Vicky. He acted like if Vicky owed him something, while she never asked for him to interfere in her problems 🙅‍♀️ I don’t know, I guess he was just supposed to be a lost teen, damaged by trauma, and I get that.

OK, so if I was Elena, seeing Katherine’s picture would FREAK. ME. OUT 😱 I would run away. So far away. I would tell everyone I love to run away 👀 I would just completely shut down. I would never want to see the guy ever again (who clearly has a fetish and an unhealthy obsession!!). I mean, talk about being clinched to your ex

Damon and Caroline’s relationship was SO TOXIC in s1 !! 💥 And the show never really acknowledged that!! I mean, sure, they did, but I don’t think Damon realised the pain he caused her: he manipulated her, fed on her, hurt her, compelled her, used her to get what he wanted, abused her, put her life in danger, over and over again 🤢🤬😡

LEXIIIIIIIIII 💖💖💖 Finally! I remember I liked her a lot, but she’s just one of the best, purest character! I’m so happy Stefan can AT LEAST count on her 💕

WHAT?! 😱 SHE DIED SO SOON IN THE SHOW??!?? 💔😭 I didn’t remember that at all! I think my mind erased that fact from my mind because it hurt too much!

Ugh, Logan 😑

I hate what they did with Bonnie 😡 In s1 she’s this incredibly judgy character who ruins every single plan by having ridiculously high moral standards (for this fictional universe, at least), ugh. I love her but they used her to create unnecessary conflict in the show and she didn’t deserve that. Also she didn’t deserve all the pain, the deaths & the misery. She’s one of the (many) characters who have suffered SO MUCH throughout the seasons and they really did her dirty and i’m so mad about that !!

The flashbacks from 1864 were quite well done. I always found it interesting to learn more about Katherine’s past and the Salvatore brothers’ tragic origin story.

*sighs* John Gilbert... urrffffgh 🙄

Isobel being Elena’s biological mother AND Alaric’s ex wife was... so weird 🤨

Overall, I don’t have a lot of opinions for that season because I was bored half of the time 🤷‍♀️ I just really wasn’t interested about the plot and/or the characters because it was all so cliché and cheap. This season was really bad. It’s not working at all, for me at least.

S2 :

Katherine is a GREAT character and you can’t fight me on that 💁🏻‍♀️👠👑

The addition of the werewolves was quite a good idea, though it was predictable so far. Werewolves and vampires often come together in fantasy 🤷‍♀️ Tyler’s storyline was interesting though 🤔 The whole idea of a curse that you activate when you become responsible for someone’s death, no matter your intentions, was good.

CAROLINE BECOMING A VAMPIRE WAS ONE OF THE BEST THING HAPPENING TO THIS SHOW : YES ! 👏 She was such a better person as a vampire. She was arguably the best vampire of them all, the one who truly succeeded the most at adapting at her new life 💕

I DO NOT understand WHY Damon would ask for troubles to Mason, a werewolf, whose bite is DEADLY to him 🙄

Elijah was so different in s2 than I remembered. So uptight, and yet so evil ?? I remembered him as the nice brother in the Michaelson family. But the way he relentlessly targets Rose and her family and friends... yikes 😣🥺

Klaus was so HYPED by the show. Even Katherine herself was terrified of him 😱 And when you think about it, he might be one of the most dangerous creature of TVD’s lore... 🧐 But compared to other vilains, he was quite friendly.

Bonnie and Jeremy... mmm.... sure. You know what, it doesn’t scream “soulmate” but it doesn’t have to be. It can be just a messy, complicated, unexplainable crush. It can just be two people liking each other and enjoying each other’s company without trying to look for a deeper thing. Plus the situation is so awkward, with Jeremy being Bonnie’s best friend’s little baby brother, that it was fun to watch! 😄

My heart still feels for Jenna 💔 She had just learnt the truth about vampires and she had JUST figured out why everyone in her life was acting so weird... and then she died. And idk she was a lovely, messy, funny, pure heartface, completely lost gardian... 💕 and I’m gonna miss her. I would have liked to see her react to what happened next on the show (and how she could have supported Elena & Jeremy through all of this, etc.) 🥺

OF COURSE STEFAN WOULD MAKE A DEAL WITH KLAUS TO GET A CURE FOR HIS BROTHER! Is this Supernatural?

So, yeah, same thing here: most of the storylines developed in this season didn’t interest me whatsoever. So I don’t have a lot of things to say about this season, but just bear with me pls 🐻

S3 :

I absolutely adore Stefan as a ripper in s3. Especially regarding his complicated relationship with Klaus... I think his dependency / addiction to blood is really interesting 🤔 Stefan can’t be a regular vampire, drinking blood from humans then erasing their memories / drinking from blood blags. He can’t because he feels so guilty for the lives he takes / the pain he inflicts on other. So he’s like all or nothing 🤷‍♀️ A human blood-free diet guy. Or a merciless killer.

Regarding of the whole delena / stelena ship war... *sighs* 😔 I honestly don’t know 🤷‍♀️ Both relationships seem hella toxic (for different reasons, but still). I do believe Elena loved them both (maybe not at the same time, though). So, I don’t know who she should have ended up with... I remember shipping her with Damon on my first watch, but now I realise that was purely for the bad boy vibes (i.e bad boy, who, deep down, isn’t so bad because turns out he can change and blah blah blah... ugh what a cliché i know 🙄). So anyway, I’m not gonna defend Delena, it’s as messed up as Stelena if you ask me. But that’s where my heart went on the first watch and that’s who she canonically ends up with, so I’m not gonna fight it and try to make a case of whether she should have ended up with another person (or alone?). In my head, she’s with Damon 🙃 Just cause’ it’s easier, more convinient, and I’m lazy that way 😅 But I understand people who ship/prefer Stelena over Delena. I’m just not THAT invested in this freaking love triangle anymore ✋

The show really took off when they introduced the original vampires if you ask me 🧛‍♂️ Their backstory is so tragic, and after that, it makes more sense why Elijah, Rebekah and Klaus are so close, trust each other so much and manage to forgive the worst of each other💖

Rebekah, that poor girl who only ever wanted to have a human normal life and to BOND with people (whether they were family, friends or more than friends...) 💕has been betrayed by EVERYONE 🔪She was daggered more times than I can even count, and I’m surprised she hasn’t killed everyone out of pure revenge yet!

Yeeeeep. Still ships Klaroline. ❤️

My God, what would I give to see Caroline explore this world and enjoy the perks of her vampire life with Klaus...🥰 She wanted that. She secretly dreamed of that. And frankly, she deserved that. She deserved to feel happy and fulfilled and excited about her future! She deserved more than the life she got in Mystic Falls ✨ More than Tyler! More than Jessy. More than Damon. And more than Stefan too, even if she did seem happy with him in the end. I think I liked Klaus as a romantic option for the same reasons I liked Damon back then. For the challenge. For the way they always push their girlfriends further, and make them want more of life than what they’ve got. For the way they make them ambitious.

I think the reason this season feels so useless is because they try to find a way to eliminate the Original family... only to find out that if they do that, EVERY VAMPIRE EVER WILL ALSO DIE 👏

I despised the whole evil alter ego trope that they did with Alaric 😪😴 I liked the idea of the ring having real bad consequences. But here, Alaric can’t take responsibility for wanting to cheat on death precisely because he has a second personality that he cannot control. The blame is just put on somebody else, an entire other person that just cohabits in Alaric’s body. I never really liked the whole Dr Jekill & Mr Hide trope 🤷‍♀️ And I don’t think it was bringing anything to the table, honestly. It’s boring (because SO obvious and predictable) and it takes forever to deal with (ugh) 😑

NOOOOOOOOOO RICK 😭💔 He was one of my favorite character. I really loved his relationship with Elena and Jeremy + his friendship with Damon. I’m gonna miss him really hard. The scene with Damon on his grave was really sweet 🥺

S4:

Elena being a vampire : YES! 👏 We’ve been waiting for this for so long, the show really needed this to go on (realistically the show would have had trouble to move on if Elena would have stayed human for a lot longer). So I’m really glad about that being the premise for s4 ☺️ Plus her transition is well handled, with her memories coming back + her emotions being heightened (the scene where she bursts into laugh and cannot stop was really funny and somehow relatable 😂).

The scene in the car with Stefan, Matt & Elena VS Stefan, Elena & her father was really well done! 👏 I loved the parallel where she wants Stefan to save Matt first, just like her father wanted him to save Elena first. So touching 💕 It’s a tough choice and Stefan will have to live with both consequences for the rest of his life, which will NOT be easy with Damon blaming him for Elena’s death. But, really, Damon kinda has a point : "in what world are you [Matt] the one that gets to live?”. Matt has been saved so many times on the show and it’s legit to ask yourself : WHY? Why him? 🤷‍♀️He’s so irrelevant and useless. But I get that’s the whole point. Human life is irrelevant and useless (in the great scheme of things). And yet, we fight for it ✊ Because somehow it matters.

S4 helped me remember what I didn’t like about Stefan, regarding his relationship with Elena. He really had a big problem with her being a vampire, and he spent half of his time trying to “control” / “fix” her 🙄 He’s got such high standards for Elena when she turns into a vampire. It’s like he expects her to not make the same mistakes as he - or any other vampire in the history of vampirism - did. He desperately wants her to be a “good” vampire right away and avoid the “killer without humanity” phase 🤔 Which is understandable. He doesn’t want her to become a bad vampire who doesn’t care about human life, as he was during his ripper phase (or like Damon).

Damon truly accepted her, the new her, vampire! Elena 👐 You can argue that it’s because he’s selfish and he wants people to act as bad and carelessly as him (that’s why he tried to manipulate Stefan into drinking human blood again in s1 : he doesn’t want to be alone and he needs someone else to party with)... But he isn’t selfish when it comes to Elena 🤷‍♀️ The show proved us that. He wanted her to have a human normal life, to be happy, to grow old and have children. He wanted to give her that, and that’s why he would have saved her over Matt on the bridge. He’s not happy that she is a vampire. That’s not what he wanted. Never. But now that she is, and that there’s nothing they can do about it (that they know of), Damon tries to make the best out of it

Anyway, Caroline is such a better teacher then Damon or Stefan 😅 Drop the Salvatore brothers and get educated on the vampire life with your bff, Elena !

Elena being sired by Damon, OMMGG! 😮😮😮 So much drama, I really loved it. It was smart to use that as a way to postpone Delena for a little bit - playing on the general doubt that Elena might not truly love Damon and she might just be under the influence of the sire bond. Which, let’s be honest, was a legit consideration to have. So, yeah... REALLY GLAD that, in the end, the sire bond didn’t create those feelings out of nowhere, it only heightened and amplified what was already there beforehand. Otherwise, it would have been really problematic, especially regarding consent issues 😕

I love that Damon makes the right choice again with Elena and “sets her free”. He doesn’t want their relationship to be fake. And so he uses the sire bond to send her away, to be herself, to live her life without worrying about what makes him happy. You can say everything you want about Damon, at least he gets it right by her ☝️Just like when he confessed his feelings to her, but compelled her to forget because she’s in love with Stefan and he doesn’t want to mess it up. He was not selfish when it came to her.

It was really heartbreaking to see Jeremy becoming a hunter and having the sudden urges to kill his own sister and basically everybody else in his life 😢

Poor Carol Lockwood! 💔 She didn’t deserve to die. She tried so hard to help for Tyler, even when she learnt he was a werewolf, she cared so much for him...😭

Their inability to communicate with each other is INSANE. At some point in s4, they all know Shane is practicing a magic called “Expression”. Damon and Stefan also know that kind of magic is incredibly dark and dangerous (from their little trip to New Orleans when they tried to find a way to deactivate the sire bond and the witch there told them she wasn’t practicing this kind of magic). But NO ONE has still put two and two together. And so, Bonnie keeps blindly trusting Shane and hanging out with him 🤦‍♀️

The whole search for the cure was quite interesting and entertaining to watch! Each one of them wanted it for a different reason : destroy it, use it, share it, give it away, save it for later... Which really well portrayed how people can react to the idea of mortality. The fact that there’s only one dose was really genius! That makes it even more interesting to see who’s gonna fight for it (i.e. Rebekah, Stefan), who’s gonna just drop it because turns out they didn’t really want it to begin with (i.e. Damon, Caroline), who’s gonna exchange/bargain it and for what (i.e Katherine, maybe), who’s gonna get it the end and what will they do with it. Will it all be worth it? 🧐

Jeremyyyyy 💔😭 R.I.P 💀

Honestly, even though I still think Matt is irrelevant to the show, let’s remember he also has lost every single person in his life (his dad and his mom are basically gone, Vicky is dead, Tyler left town again, his goddamn history teacher died too) - and now he can add Jeremy, his best friend, to the list 😭 He’s handling it all WAY better than anyone else. I mean you don’t see him burning down the house he grew up in for instance! However, I agree that Elena have lost more people in her family than him (her adoptive parents, Jenna, Alaric, Jeremy, even John... and Isobel is basically gone too). But it’s not like you can compare their lost, anyway. They boty suffered a lot, but I just wanted to say... I liked that the show acknowledged Matt lost someone important for him too 💕

No humanity! Elena, OOMMMGGG!! 🤯 I was so mad when it happened, because Damon could have just used the sire bond to make her deal with her brother’s death, he could have just helped through the grief and tell her it was going to be okay. He didn’t need to make her turn off her humanity 🙄 Real dumb move here!

I kinda liked the friendship between Elena without humanity and Rebecca! Their little trip starting off in NY was fun!

Katherine is, and will always be, the baddest bitch in town! ❤️ I was quite surprised to see her kill Jeremy so heartlessly, but I guess it fits the character. She’ll always be looking out for herself and the opportunity to take the cure and be one step ahead of everyone was obviously too good to leave out. She always had to fight for her own survival, in a world that’s always been dangerous and ruthless against her, so it makes sense she became who she is 🤷‍♀️

Of all the things that could have triggered Elena’s humanity flip switch, really? Matt Donovan? 🤨😑 I mean, it makes sense since Elena seems to value his life over everything else, including her own. But from what we’ve seen so far, she wasn’t really happy when she was dating Matt 😕 They used to fight a lot, they didn’t want the same thing out of life, they just were really different people. And that’s fine, they didn’t work out as a couple, but they can stay friend... Except you don’t really see them interract THAT much as friends. I mean it’s a lot of "say" and not enough "show", for me 🧐 You don’t feel the bond that two best friends should have... between them. You don’t see inside jokes, common interests, similar hobbies, laughters and tears, serious conversations that last for hours, or small talks over the phone... Anyway, from what we were shown so far, she shouldn’t feel that close to Matt. Not more than, idk, Bonnie, Caroline, Damon or Stefan for instance! So the fact that she cares SO MUCH about him is kinda strange 🤔

“He was your first love, I intend to be your last. However long that takes” LOOK WHO’S BAAAACK 👀 My favorite hybrid! Awww of course he was gonna come back for Caroline ❤️

Btw the ceremony was very cute 💕 It’s the end of high school! The end of an era! And they all graduated 🍾🎊🎉

Awwwwww, when Bonnie dropped the veil and everyone got to see their dead friends and family again! Stefan & Lexi, Damon and Alaric, Elena & Jeremy 💖

BONNIIIIIE, OH NOOOO, WHYYY 😭💔 oh no no no no no no no, she wants to keep her death a secret from everyone, that is such a bad idea!!! 😣

OMG SILAS IS A DOPPELGÄNGER OF STEFAN !!! 🤯 POOR STEFAN IS STUCK IN THE BOTTOM OF THE LAKE AND NO ONE KNOWS, NOOOOOO 💔😭

S5 :

The whole college experience with Caroline and Elena was so fun to rewatch😁 I wish Bonnie could have been there though, even if she kinda was.

It feels good to watch Elena and Damon being happily in love together and enjoying the summer ❤️☀️ But when you think about Stefan drowning over and over in that lake... it feels so bad :(

Katherine as a human is devastatingly entertaining! "I’m the freaking moonstone" 🤣 So iconic that she, of all people, took the cure! I loved that twist.

I loved the complicated and messy love triangle between Quetsiya, Amara and Silas. I want to empathise with Quetsiya and support her, because Silas screwed her over in such a supernatural, mystical way... he cheated on her and tricked her. He manipulated her to get what he wanted. So yeah, I’m all team Quetsiya ✊ but then again, she is sort of over-paranoid and obssesive? 🤷‍♀️ And being screwed over by a guy doesn’t exactly justify her quest for vengeance. So... I guess the only one who’s okay is Amara?? We don’t see a lot of her but I respect her wish to die after thousands of year in pain, as the anchor of the other side (which, btw, was BRILLIANT! 🤯 Quetsiya’s a genius! o.O)

"You are my life" ❤️ GOD, Damon always finding the right words!

I hate the travelers storyline 🙅‍♀️ I find it incredibly boring and I’m not that attached to Nadia. The only thing I liked about her was her relationship with her mom, Katherine. But apart from that, I don’t really like them as villains, nor as their storyline with Silas 😑😕

Stefan loosing his memory is okay-ish. It’s such a cliché as a trope, but it sort of works because Paul Wesley does such a great work at portraying different Stefans 👍 and it’s always entertaining to watch. And even though I usually ship Delena, I have to admit Elena recreating some moments with Stefan was very cute! 💕So it works but I’m not a big fan.

What I am a big fan of is the evolving relationship between Damon and Jeremy! 🥰 I mean, you can see that he didn’t really care about him, that he was mostly protecting him as a way to please Elena... But then, something changed 🤔He started caring for him for real, kinda like a big brother would:)

"You’re Katherine Pierce. Suck it up" hell yes 💪 keep fightingt, love !

Awwwwwww Bonnie 💔 Why do you always have to sacrifice yourself and put everyone else’s happiness before your own?? It’s really sad to see her becoming the anchor of the other side, feeling literally every single death of all the supernatural beings out there :’(

The Augustine vampire storyline!! 😮I’ve had completely forgotten about that! I love how they connected Damon with that institution, and how they introduced Enzo as Damon’s old mate. Well done👍

Katherine in Elena’s body: OMG! Love it! She’s such a survivor ❤️ That’s gonna mess things up so bad xD (btw the fact NO ONE notices anything is kinda weird and if I was Elena, I would be offended)

Nooooooo, don’t break up with Damon as Elena !!! 😱😱 Uuuughhh!!! Whyyy 😭

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG CAROLINE SLEPT WITH KLAUS !!! ❤️HELL YAS B**CH!!! SHE FINALLY ADMITTED HER FEELINGS FOR HIM !!! THEY KISSED !!! IT’S OFFICIAL !!! (i know klaus will never come back to TVD ever again buuuut... i’m still so so SO happy about that Klaroline reunion!)

Awwwww my baby Liv ❤️ I’ve missed her, she was so precious in season 5 !

Katherine AGRESSIVELY flirting with Stefan, while pretending to be Elena, was... both fun and hard to watch 😅Katherine was soooo pushy! And the fact that Stefan still doesn’t see she’s not Elena was infuriating! Like there’s just no way Elena would ever act like that!

"You’re never gonna as interesting as the next guy she wants to sleep with” poor Nadia 😭 that’s so true though :/ she didn’t deserve to die, I was really sad for her. She deserved a better life than the one she’s got 💔💔💔

FINALLY! 🙌 Finally they put two and two together and figured out Katherine is inside Elena’s body! Thank God 🙏 Caroline made me laugh so much with her "it’s Elena, we would have noticed something" speech. I was like YES. MY POINT EXACTLY 👏 I loved when they figured out all the little details that have been wrong ever since the beginning of this whole mess, like : Katherine was the reason that Tyler knew Caroline slept with Klaus. And Caroline’s like : oooohhh it all makes sense now. Wow. Congrats for figuring this out just now! 🙄

R.I.P Katherine ❤️ Weirdly, she will be missed. She did deserve better.

Jeremy was kind of a jerk with Bonnie in s5 ? I mean he was okay in the first few episodes i guess but then he completely ignored her... not cool bro, not cool 👎

The whole "Why do people seem to expect more of me?" speech of Caroline felt very relatable 👏 Just because she’s kind, because she’s trying to do good, doesn’t mean it’s easier for her! 😤 Plus, why do people keep slut-shaming her for having sex with Klaus when she’s not the first, nor the last, to have had one night stands with - arguably - bad people! ✋

Damon and Elena breaking up : lol 😆 As if. We know they’re endgame. Please. It’s only a matter of episodes until they find their way back to each other, which is why they are kinda cute as a couple.

Ugh 😑 Markos 🤦‍♀️ I just can’t ✋

Bonniiiiiiiiiiie !! Stop lying to everybody!! I hated how she was pretending she had a spell to escape the Other Side collapsing! Haven’t you learnt anything by now? Talk to your friend, figure out a plan together and if not, at leat say your goodbyes and enjoy your last moments with them!

Did I already say I hate the travelers storyline? Well, I do. I hate it 🤬

Season 5 finale was PEFRECT, I loved it. Bonnie resurrecting everyone, Liv doing the spell, Silas helping them just to be destroyed in the end (a fitting ending), Damon and Elena driving through the Grill to kill all the travelers, Alaric coming back, Markos dying... BUT. But, but, but, I was so upset about Damon!! It was just a matter of time and if they would have just kept going with the spell for a few seconds (damn you, Luke!), he would have been able to come through! And Lexi, omg 😭 at least she found peace❤️

Btw, that’s exactly what I meant about Bonnie’s character. Throughout the seasons she never stops sacrificing herself for other people (sometimes those people don’t even deserve it). She keeps lying to everyone. She lied when she died the day of graduation. She didn’t say how much it hurt her to be the anchor. She lied when she said they had a way to bring her back from the Other Side when it was collapsing. She kept minimising her (big-ass) problems. She kept putting other people before herself. And she’s one of the characters who suffered the most. Her storyline revolves around pain. The show doesn’t allow her to be fully happy. And btw, no one truly cares about her happiness (except maybe Jeremy and then Enzo), at least not when somebody else’s safety or comfort is at play. She’s never number 1 on the priority list. If somebody needs her to do a spell or whatever, they will use her. No matter how much danger she puts herself in 🤬

"Please don’t leave me” 😭😭😭 I felt that... It crushed my heart 💔

S6 :

I loved the way everybody coped with Bonnie and Damon’s deaths 💕 Elena got addicted to some magical herbs that made her hallucinate Damon again because she couldn’t deal with his death. Jeremy left a tone of angry voicemails to Bonnie’s old phone - which he paid for. Caroline got dragged into work and research in order to find a way to get back in Mystical Falls. Stefan moved on completely and started off a new life. It’s just... a nice way to show grief 😊

Ooohh I smell some Steroline moments!! Poor Caroline. To me, she deserved better than Stefan! He was such a jerk to her, especially in the beginning 😤😡

NOOOOOOOOOOOO 💔 ELENA DON’T ERASE YOUR MEMORIES! WHAT! WILL! YOU! DO! WHEN! DAMON! INEVITABLY! COMES! BACK! Elenaaaaa 😤 You have to learn how to deal with grief for real !

The fact she trusts Rick completely to do that was so beautiful though... They’re family and it was nice to see their bond.

Bonnie and Damon were kinda cute ! Like I don’t ship them, per say. But I get why some people do 🤷‍♀️ They had chemistry and they worked as an enemies to lovers trope. Anyway, I personally liked their friendship, how they both learnt how to support each other, how to function as a team, how they helped each other through the worst! In the end, Damon truly cared about her, and that’s why he was ready to do anything in order to save her 💪

Kaaaaaaiiiiii 🙈 i’m so conflicted about ya

I totally ship Jalaric ! ❤️ I loved how Elena tried to fix them up together! They’re really cute together. They both have complicated pasts and a messy family. They understand each other :) And Jo is such a confident woman! She knows what she wants, she’s not afraid of speaking her mind, she’s kinda fierce!

The fact that Elena wanted her memories back JUST when Alaric became human again was just... aaarrghh 🤬

"I think I deserve better than that” YES 👏 YOU 👏 DO 👏 CAROLINE! Stefan treated you like shit and you’re right to protect yourself, sweatheart 💕 I really didn’t like how he tried so hard to make amends... without acknowledging how much he hurt her, how he abandoned everyone, how he behaved like a jerk. I liked that Caroline took some distances for her own good 💖 #SelfRespectIsReal

The Gemini coven was really interesting. This idea of such a dysfunctional family, with a psychopath brother who killed half his siblings to merge with his twin sister in order to get leadership for the coven... it was all very compelling! Loved it ❤️

I think I have a thing for storylines about supernatural families in TVD : the Salvatores, the Mikealsons, the Parkers !

Liv and Tyler... mmm... don’t care 🤷‍♀️

You’re telling me that Damon got out of the prison world, even KAI got out, and BONNIE still gets stuck over there!! 🤬 Wtf ?? Why does this show hate this character so much? Why is she always the one who gets screwed in the end?? I just hate the way they treated her!! 😱

There was literally no good outcome to that whole twin-merging-together mess. If Liv merged with Luke, one of them would die and that’s not an option! If Kai merged with Jo, there was a huge chance he would win, which is simply not acceptable at all. Anyway, what a mess!

Kai literally sucking all the magic from the travelers’ spell, finally breaking it, allowing vampires to come back to Mystic Falls, was just... wOw! o.O

Luke merging with Kai 😭 R.I.P 💔

The ONLY good thing about that merge was watching Kai trying to deal with his feelings like ??? what’s going on??? 🧐🧐Why do i... feel??... stuff ?? 🤨🤨

"So I googled how to process emotional pain", i mean i hear you my boy, let’s not pretend that’s not my usual monday 👩🏻‍💻 "so i start writing and this water literally started pouring in my eyes ?? does that ever happen to you ??”, again same 😂

Jeremy going to art school... meh, it was okay. Clearly they didn’t know what to do with him anymore, so yeah, why not art school? 🤷‍♀️ The going-away party was nice :) Damon giving a joint to Jeremy was sort of sweet, Elena smoking it with him was also cool and quite funny!

Ugh 😑 Enzo & Sarah Salvatore... 🙄 this storyline was so boring, i just didn’t care

First Steroline kiss! 😳😮 Okay, that was kinda cute, I have to admit. But still, I don’t like the fondation of this ship, I think that Stefan hurt her too bad and, most importantly, didn’t respect her enough to get to come back and kiss her.

Sheriff Forbes being sick was KILLING me 😭😭😭 She didn’t deserve that at all, she was the sweatest, kindest, purest, most compassionate woman on this show... and she passed it on to Caroline...

The scene with the bike and little Caroline was so touching ❤️❤️😭 RIP Liz’!

OMGOMGOMG!!! Caroline flipped her humanity switch! 😱 "I just need the pain to be gone" 😭 I get why she did it, and I also thought Elena was being a little bit condescending with her. She had the right to turn it all out. Everyone else did. I get why she thought it was unfair :/

BONNIE’S BACK Y’ALL ❤️❤️❤️

I do not understand why people on this show just won’t accept people turning off their humanity switch 🤷‍♀️ I mean, Stefan, Damon, Elena,... they all did it! And every single time, the others tried really hard to fix that. And I’m like : why? I’m not sure it’s the smartest move here 🧐 Because they usually end up making things worse 😑 Look at Elena : she just wanted to not feel the pain of her brother’s death for a while. She even tried to make a deal with Stefan and Damon : leave me alone, let me do my things and I’ll behave. But of course, they refused 🙄🤦‍♀️ Because they couldn’t accept the fact that their precious Elena would ever be bad and do bad thing 😒🙄 And then Elena became ruthless! Who would have thought? 🙄 Same for Caroline! The poor girl lost her mother. She just wanted to get waisted, sing some karaoke songs, and live her vampire life without any care in the world. She even erased Liam’s memories when she fed on him. Her first instinct was to buy new clothes to start over and come back to her dorm to keep leaving her old college life! She kinda had it under control 🤷‍♀️ And then, she suggested a deal, kind of like the one Elena tried to make with Stefan and Damon :☝️ one year without humanity, and she behaves and doesn’t kill anyone. That’s a good deal if you ask me 🤷‍♀️ Why not let her have that? Why not agree with that deal? Caroline without humanity is still Caroline (sort of) : she’s functional, and to quote Caroline herself : she is not an idiot. She doesn’t want to feel so she’s ready to do anything to not be bothered. I think she would have respected her end of the deal. If you take a good look at it, in both cases, it’s when other people tried to bring them back, when they broke the deal, that Elena/Caroline became killers.

Stefan shutting off his humanity was so dumb 🤦‍♀️🙄 Elena was going to find Sarah, he still had time! And even if she didn’t, and Liam killed Sarah, it’d be one ☝️ dead body. But by turning off his humanity, Stefan practically ensured that there’d be more dead bodies after that!

Damon’s mom... urf, yeah? sure. I guess I should care? 🤷‍♀️ Honestly, even when I first watched the show, I found that storyline super boring. She didn’t inspire me anything whatsoever. Anyway, using her as Stefan’s emotional trigger was sort of smart, but kinda reckless. I mean, they had no idea if it was gonna work or not, and still they still risked it, I-... urf 🤦‍♀️

I liked Stefan’s little revenge 😈😈 He’s like : no, no, no, Caroline, you don’t get to have an elaborate system that protects you from feeling guilt whenever you’ll decide to turn your humanity back on. I’m gonna make your life a living-hell. I’m gonna break you. You don’t get to ruin MY life and keep being the same control-freak, organised, college girl 💁‍♀️

Alaric&Jo thinking about baby names 🥰

The cure is BACK??? Hell no 😤 I mean, sure, it was interesting the first time, don’t get me wrong. But we’ve already watched that storyline. So 🤷‍♀️

Btw, I hate how suddenly, everybody’s like "omg poor Elena will NEVER get the life that she truly wants, she’s condamned to an eternity as a vampire, without ever having the possibility of settling down and starting a family" 😱 like i don’t know Elena’s been FINE about her vampirism for like 4 seasons. She seems happy, she seems to have found a way to make the best out of it. But sure, NOW that the cure is back, she feels like her life is unbearable - how convenient🙄

"For the first time, I’m putting ME first" HELL YES, BONNIE ✊🏿 I wish she could do that more often though.

Awwww Caroline getting her humanity back was really sad and emotional 💕💕The LETTER 😭 The fucking letter 😭 "I’m sorry Stefan, I ruined everything" 😭

Are we gonna address Matt, Tyler and Alaric’s alcoholism or are we simply gonna pretend they don’t have a drinking problem and their behaviour is totally socially-acceptable ?? 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

I know it was her choice and it was probably for the best, but I think Elena taking the cure was a big mistake 😕 The show was way more entertaining when she was a vampire, and they basically erased every possibility of a "happy" ending for my favorite characters 💔 Elena will loose everyone she ever cared about, including Stefan and Caroline. She will have to move out of Mystic Falls and isolate herself from all her former friends. Damon is taking the cure with her so he will have to say goodbye to his own brother, the only family he has left. All of that... for a human life ?? A meaningless job?? Bills to pay?? School?? Money issues?? A house to maintain?? Misery and despair?? Children?? In that messed up world?? With that economy??? And the environment crisis we’re living?? Nope, I don’t get it 🤷‍♀️ I just don’t.

Secretly, I had always dreamed of Elena, Stefan, Damon and Caroline all being vampires and spending eternity together. And double date forever, I guess 😅

NOOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭 R.I.P Jo 💔

LIV !!!! 💔 NO, NO, NO, NO! Whyyyy 😭

AND THAT BASTARD GETS TO LIVE!!! What did do you do Lily? Oh my freaking God, why would you turn Kai into an heretic? He was already such a pain in the ass and now he’s even more powerful! Thanks to you, he has killed his entire family and he gets to live!! 🤬🤬

I ABSOLUTELY HATE WHAT THEY DID WITH BONNIE AND ELENA!! That whole "I linked your life with Elena’s" 😡 Cause it’s like : OF COURSE, we want to pick the main character. Of course we want Elena to come back to life. Of course we would be ready to sacrifice Bonnie if it means that Elena gets to live in the present with her friends and family. BUT BONNIE DOESN’T DESERVE THAT! She deserves to be the one, as Caroline used to say, to be picked upon everybody else. She deserves to live as much as Elena, even more (after everything she has done, everything she has sacrificed for her friends). She deserves to be happy! But now, everyone resents her for being alive, because if she’s alive then that means she is taking "Elena’s place". Now she feels guilty for being alive and breathing. For. Fucking. Being. Alive. Think about that. Again, I’m sorry if I repeat myself but : WHY THE HELL DID THIS SHOW HATE BONNIE’S CHARACTER SO MUCH?? 🤬🤬🤬

I’m just gonna say it once : The show is just not the same without Elena 🤷‍♀️

Btw, I KNOW Kai specifically said not to try anything to undo the spell he casted - otherwise Elena and Bonnie would BOTH die... But I’m surprised they didn’t even try to search for a loophole 🤔 I mean, let’s be real, when has Damon ever listened to anyone trying to reason with him? When did any of them? 🤷‍♀️ Bonnie would NEVER stop looking for a magical loophole to save her best friend. Caroline would read an entire library of mystical books to find a clue. Stefan and Damon would travelled the whole world to meet with different witches, trying to find some kind of magic that could undo the spell. No one would ever listen to Kai and just do nothing! I mean, he could be bluffing for all they know 😵 He could be saying that in order to mess with them. Were they really gonna take his word for granted? 🤔 I’m not saying "try the first anti-spell you find and roll the dices", but at least try and look for something!

S7 :

Anyway, AT LEAST, we get to see some good sweet Bamon scenes ! I love how Damon seemed to genuinely care about Bonnie. He didn’t want her to die, even if it meant he would see Elena again 💕

"You’re my best friend" awwwwww ❤️

I... liked the Heretics!😳 They were a fun new, even if they reminded me of Pearl and her vampire friends (in the "we are trying to coexist with humans but some of us don’t want to" trope). And again, I kinda have a thing for supernatural dysfunctional family, so... 🤷‍♀️ Valerie was very relatable as a depressed immortal being, Beau was so loyal it was really sweet, Malcom was boring but he died pretty quickly so he wasn’t in the show for long, Mary Louise and Nora were... the absolute cutest couple ❤️

How many times can they evacuate Mystic Falls without people realizing something’s wrong? 🤔 How many stories about gaz leak can they come up with?? 🤦‍♀️ Where are all the humans going? They’re moving away because they’re all compelled, sure, but to go where? like how can that many people find new homes in new cities, especially considering this crappy housing market? It just seems pretty unlikely that these people would just start over so easily, find new jobs, new homes for their families🧐

Stefan & Valerie was basically Steferine all over again 🤷‍♀️ I don’t have anything against Valerie herself. I think she’s probably the nicest one amongst the heretics. I even liked her chemistry with Stefan but it’s the same storyline recycled all over again, so I don’t really care much. Plus, I liked the idea that Katherine was Stefan’s first love (💕). First of all, Katherine being Stefan’s first love makes their story... EPIC. We, as an audience, care deeply about Katherine (whether we like her or not). She’s a regular and important character. We want her to have a compelling story, one that fits the legend that was Katherine Pierce. Valerie, as nice and interesting as she can be, only appears in the two last season. Plus, if Stefan had already been in love with Valerie and had already had his heart broken BEFORE knowing Katherine, then he should have acted differently when he met her 💡 He should have been way more suspiciously towards her 🧐 he wouldn’t have so easily trusted another woman, coming at his door with a pity story... if he had already been betrayed and abandoned by THE FIRST WOMAN he ever loved, the one who took his "v-card", his first love.

Hello Oscar... Goodbye Oscar 👋

Are you kidding me ? Bonnie is in pain yet again, because of some mystical element AGAIN, and nobody cares AGAIN. People keep using her, lying to her, manipulating her to get what they want and I- 🤬 Btw HOW is she okay with this? How would Bonnie ever agree to help raise people from the dead? What about her values and morals? What about everything she believes in??

These "Three Years from Now" scenes were just TERRIBLE 🤦‍♀️ Epic failure. I simply don’t care about whatever happens in the "future”. I’ll make my own headcanons, thank you ✋

JULIAN... UGH 🤢🤮 Could you be even more despicable?? Beating up a pregnant woman to the point of loosing her baby?? Poor Valerie, she didn’t feel like she could tell her own mother about that cause’ she knew Lily wouldn’t believe her 😢

Awwwwwww Ric bringing ""Jo"" back from the dead 😭💖 I felt bad for that poor vampire who just woke up in somebody else’s body, after years being trapped in some hell... And It was really heartbreaking to watch him get his hopes up and then realise she wasn’t his wife :’(

OMG CAROLINE’S PREGNANT??? 🤰WITH RIC’S BABIES??? 😱 I... I don’t even know what to think of that. I don’t really know how to react... Good for the twins? I guess? Yay, they’re alive? But... I don’t know, seems kinda rapy to put someone else’s babies inside a woman’s body without her consent ?? 🧐

The fact that Valerie HAD to confess her very traumatic story, to multiple people, MULTIPLE TIMES... because it was convenient to the plot was disgusting! 🤮🤬 She was merely used as a reason to try to kill Julian... Valerie was beaten by Julian to the point she lost her baby! She never said anything because she was afraid no one would believe her/people would judge her/people would hurt her - which is completely understandable considering how traumatic this must have been for her! But then she comes back to MF and Stefan keeps asking her to justify herself like she owes him a goddamn explanation for not having returned earlier as she had promised... um? I get that Stefan had his heart broken back then, but aren’t you mature enough NOW to understand something wrong must have happened?? And that maybe she just doesn’t want to talk about it because it still hurts?? It’s HER life and she is entitled to live it however the hell she wants?? EVEN if she just changed her mind and decided not to come back for an entirely different reason, it’s her choice! Having sex with someone ONCE doesn’t mean you OWE them anything! 🤦‍♀️🤬 Promises were made, sure, but they were both very young and things can change! ANYWAY... And when they need allies to kill Julian, she is almost forced to tell her story again, just to make people feel pity and sympathy... She’s not a damn tool, for God’s sake, respect the poor girl! 😤

While rewatching the show, I kind of like that they addressed Lily’s romantic patterns and how she had a tendency to chose violent, controlling, abusing husbands (first Giuseppe, and then Julian...) 🧐 It was touching to hear her story, and to understand that she only stayed with Giuseppe back then to protect her sons, Damon & Stefan. She had a plan to run away, she wanted to escape because she knew she was in danger with him, she was well aware he wasn’t treating her right. But sometimes you can’t just go away. Sometimes things are more complicated. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ I liked that she realised her own pattern and that she tried to stand up for herself against Julian after that... even though it didn’t end well (which... seriously? 🤦‍♀️ She killed herself? Is that the message you wanna send to all the people stuck in abusive/violent relationship? 🤮)

Poor Lily 😭😭😭 R.I.P. 💔

Damon burning Elena’s coffin... 🔥🔥 Yeah. Sure. As if 🙄 Honestly, even on my first watch, I wasn’t believing it. The show without Elena is such a catastrophic mess! If she had died in her sleep, it would have been devastating. I don’t think the show would have survived that. I think it would have been cancelled before s8, or something like that.

Stefan was... surprisingly not reacting a lot to Caroline being PREGNANT🤰?? I mean... I don’t know... I was expecting some kind of big talk about it. Like "hey Caroline, how are you feeling about all this? What are your thoughts about having Ric’s babies? Do you even want to pursue the pregnancy (cause you DON’T have to carry someone else’s babies!)? What does this pregnancy mean to you? What will happen once the babies are born? Would you consider having shared custody with Ric? Or if you don’t want to be involved at all, would you like the twins not to know you were the one who carried them? Did you ever or would you ever want to be a mom? Would you want to have children of your own in the future? Do you ever think of that?” 🤷‍♀️ And those are just EXAMPLES. He didn’t have to ask all of these questions all at once! But you know, I wish they could have at least discussed some of these points together. Instead, he just let her "handle her things", because good old organised Caroline has every figured it out, of course! 🙄🙄 sure, she can take care of everything on her own 🤦‍♀️

I didn’t like the idea of putting Damon & Stefan in the Phoenix Stone... if it was all JUST to do THAT in the end. They tried to add some PTSD, pain and remorse but failed at making it compelling to the audience. Wooow, Stefan must let go of his toxic relationship with his brother in order to save himself... How obnoxious can you be, TVD? And oooohh, Damon must get rid off his toxic masculinity to face the fact that he loved and misses his mother... how original!! 🙄 I just feel like TVD was trying hard to be deeper than they were, and it didn’t work (for me)

FINALLY JULIAN IS DEAD 🙌🙏🎉

The Huntress was, like, a JOKE, okay? She’s supposed to have killed a thousands of vampires. Even heretics feared her. Stefan & Damon should already have been dead by now! What is she doing? How are we supposed to be afraid of her? She’s not doing anything, she is barely a threat 🤦‍♀️

Am I the only one who kinda saw great chemistry between Nora and Bonnie?💕

I LOVE how Klaus just IMMEDIATELY understood that Caroline was NEVER gonna let go of these kids 😍 I just love how he ultimately gets her, how he’s able to predict exactly what’s she’s going to do because he just knows her that well. Their phone talk was VERY cute ❤️ I love how he teased her with her own words : how she said she couldn’t possibly allow herself to be with him because she was "in college, building a life for herself” and he just wasn’t in the picture... and then turns out... she had kids! 😅 He sounded surprised but not completely shocked and I love how he was very understanding and sweet with her, she needed that 💕

Btw this season is just desperately LONG!

Awwww... Caroline... 😬 I understand why she wanted to stay in Dallas, and why she asked Stefan to consider moving here... but she should have been honest with him right away, the minute he picked up the phone. She should have told him she wanted to be involved in these kids’ life. I know that she was afraid Stefan wouldn’t want to “settle down" with her and take care of the twins... but she could have asked him. Directly. Clearly. Maybe he wouldn’t have minded living with her and raising the twins in some kind of shared custody 🤷‍♀️ Family comes in all shapes and sizes (💖), and as long as they told the truth to the twins, it wouldn’t have been a problem. And if Stefan didn’t want that at all, or wasn’t ready, or whatever, then they could have ended their relationship in a healthy way. By acknowledging they both wanted different things and that it just didn’t work out, as it often happens in life. But here, they’re just stuck in the middle... and it’s awkward 😳😐 Clearly, Caroline wants to live near the girls. She wants to be their mom, and clearly Stefan doesn’t seem THAT into it. But no one is saying anything and it’s just weird! 😤

I understand why Damon would make the choice of dessiccating in a coffin until Elena came back 🙂 He didn’t do it just for love. Not just because he missed her. Not because life was unbearable without her. That would have been really lame btw 😒 He did it because he didn’t want to directly or indirectly hurt people around him. And you know what, for once that was kind of the best, most reasonable - and most noble - decision to make. I was proud of him. The letter he gave Alaric was pretty sweet, but I’m glad Bonnie got to catch him before he left 💕

Bonnie saying "I’m not okay with that”😭 I was soooo glad that FOR ONCE she said what she was really thinking ! 👐Damon is her best friend, and I truly believe learning he left in a letter would have been devastating for her 😞 His choice means she will most likely NEVER see him again, ever, in her entire life 💔 I can totally understand her asking sincerly "are we friends?" cause if one my friends dared to do that, I would be pretty upset. I liked that she asked him to be honest. No joke. No deflecting mecanism. No sarcasm. No insults. Just the truth. ❤️

I REALLY REALLY don’t care about what happens "three years from now" 🤷‍♀️ Ugh I hate this season, things are so slow and boring, the storyline isn’t interesting at all, and frankly... i wanna die💀

NOOOOO MARY-LOUISE AND NORA DIDN’T DESERVE THAT 💔😭😭

Ugh 😑 The whole idea of the vampire souls trapped in the Phoenix’s stone being reunited with the wrong bodies was just lame and boring 😒

I genuinely felt bad for Valerie 😞 you can see she truly loved Stefan and it must have hurt to see he didn’t feel the same, despite having spent basically three years together :/ Again, that’s kind of my general problem with Stefan: he’s so afraid he’s gonna hurt people that he’s never fully honest with anyone! 🙄 Same shit with Caroline. He just abandoned her because he couldn’t deal with this situation. What Stefan fails to realise is that he does hurt people by keeping things from them, by always running away. I’m sorry but women around him deserve better 🤷‍♀️

Bonenzo... I remember shipping it back then, but now, I just don’t feel it 🤷‍♀️ i get why people do, sure they both care deeply about each other and you can clearly see that (the guitar scenes were very cute 💕)... but it’s mostly flashbacks and that doesn’t have the same effect on me. Because I wasn’t there to see them developing a special bond over time. I still think they’re cute and I’m happy to see Bonnie finally fall in love with someone who truly loves her back ❤️

OF COURSE BONNIE IS THREATENED BY SOME MAGICAL ELEMENT THAT IS SORT OF CONVENIENT FOR THE STORY. OF COURSE. 🤬😡 I’m so mad, I’m so fucking mad at the show for treating her this way. She’s always the one in danger. She can never be happy for more than two episodes!!

Ooooohhh nooooo Bonnie’s the new Huntress 😭😭😭 She’s gonna want to kill everyone: Damon, Stefan, Caroline, even Enzo!! Nooooo 💔

OH THANK GOD, SHE DIDN’T KILL ENZO 🙏🙏🙏 I was so afraid. For Enzo but most of all for Bonnie! She would have been devastated if she’d killed him!

“You changed my life” awwww I feel bad for Ric, the same way I felt really sad for Valerie... They both hoped the moments of pure happiness they shared with their partner would turn out to be something more. They both dreamed of starting new with their loved one, to have their own perfect little happy life... 💕 even though they knew deep down the other one didn’t love them back. Not the way they wanted to be loved. And that’s sad 😭

Damon & Enzo being manipulated and brainwashed by that thing in that vault, at the end of s7 🙄 seriously? Who would have seen that coming ? 🙋‍♀️

Ugh, s7 was PAINFUL to watch 😑

S8 :

Yiiiiikes 🤢🥴 whatever that thing is, it’s not friendly! That scene where Damon and Enzo feed it was kinda freaky!

Ric running the armory makes sense actually! I’m quite happy about that :) he’s been wanting real hard to get back to his Indiana-Jones type of life ✊ He would have never been happy with a perfect little family life... even with Jo, I believe 🤷‍♀️ He truly loved her but at the end of the day, he has just seen too much. He knows too much to just stop fighting at all. That’s what makes him Ric.

A SIREN !!!! Cool ! Now we’re talking 😎

I understand why Damon would submit completely to Sybil : he has always hated himself for all the terrible things he’d done, he has always thought he wasn’t worthy of redemption, and now Sybil provided him a proof of that, a vision of literal Hell, of eternal torture... 👺😈 plus she erased all memories of Elena 😭 he has no reason not to work for Sybil. She’s the only one who can provide a way out of Hell. Who wouldn’t take that deal? If I suddenly found out no matter what you do, you’re damned to an eternity of pain and misery and loneliness, and the only way to escape that is to work for Satan, aka Cade, I would probably do it too 🤷‍♀️

The way Enzo resisted Sybil’s mind control for Bonnie was really sweet 💕 I felt bad when he had to shut down his humanity to save her life 😭

Honestly, I know I should care about Tyler’s death but he was never my favorite character and he’s been so... in and out of the show that I kinda stopped caring about him at all (since he wasn’t exactly a regular character) 😕 But he surely didn’t deserve to be collateral damage in that mess :( Also, I thought Caroline would react a bit strongly. I mean, Tyler was important for her and she barely said something? Weird 🤷‍♀️

CAROLINE AND STEFAN ARE GONNA GET MARRIED !! 💍 She said YES! OMG! Tbh I might not ship them (because I think Stefan got away with the pain he caused her a little bit too fast) but I’m happy for Caroline: she finally got to have her June Wedding!! 💛🎉 (though I’d prefer she married Klaus of course!)

I really liked the whole mythology of the sirens 🧜‍♀️ the story about the village girl and the island girl becoming sisters, having to kill and eat people in order to survive, was heartbreaking! But I was so sure Sybil was the “nice” one 🥺 Poor girl

Noooooo, poor Georgie 😭💔 knowing she is going straight to Hell is horrible, considering she’s seen and experienced it before and she knows what awaits her :(

Sebine played her game very well, no one suspected her to be Sybil’s sister 🤔 she’s really creepy and I’m so so so afraid for the girls 😱 she clearly has an evil plan for them and I’m so anxious 😱

"I’m your brother and I love you. Please come home with me” awww Stefan ❤️

Awwwwww Enzo and Bonnie ❤️ “I’m never leaving you” okay now I remember why I shipped them! They’re adorable! She chose him over her own best friend. She picked Enzo because no one else did. Ever. And she thought he deserved a chance, because deep down he is such a sweet, loving, caring person. He might not look like it, but he’s maybe the one who cares the most and who’s actually ready to do anything for his loved ones. I think Enzo might be the big love of her life. And I’m so happy she got to have that. I’m so happy she got to meet him, to enjoy his company for a little while, to appreciate every happy moments ❤️

AAAAAH SELINE TOOK THE GIRLS!! 😱

Caroline finally doing the healthy thing and prioritising her daughters over everything else 💖💖💖 Take that ring back, Stefan. At least for now. Caroline took the right decision. She cannot make compromises when it comes to the girls. She cannot allow herself to add any more variables to this already messy situation. Yes, it’s selfish but she has to be.

WHAT? I seriously hope you’re kidding Ric! HOW DARE YOU telling Caroline she isn’t the girls’ mother? 🤬😡 She carried them, she agreed to pursue the pregnancy and give birth to kids who weren’t even “her own”, she raised them, she put food on their table, she tucked them in at night, she loved and cared for them more than anyone could have ever askef her, she basically had to let go of her entire life in order to live with them as a family... She IS their mother. She will ALWAYS be ❤️

Damon and Stefan’s deal with Cade to take the twins’ place !! 😱😱🔥 I really hope they find a way to get out of this one, but I don’t see how, right now... And Stefan is heading to a dark place :/ I hope Damon will be able to bring him back!✊

Speaking of Damon, I am SO glad he got to free himself from Sybil’s influence! 🙏 Stefan, on the other hand... meh? 😒 I’m not so sure I’m a fan of the old ripper storyline, I mean we already watched it once and we KNOW it’s not gonna last for long cause they have to wrap it up eventually, and I feel like this is just here as a cheap way to create drama between him and Caroline and idk that was kinda unnecessary 🤷‍♀️

ENZOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭💔 NONONONONONONONONOOOOOO!!!!! Poor Bonnie 😭 She was finally gonna get the happiness she deserved! RIP Enzo ☠️

OMGGG STEFAN’S HUMAN 🤯🤯🤯 Wow I wonder how he’s gonna take it, I mean on one hand being a vampire brought him a lot of pain, but on the other, it’s all he has known for centuries... rethinking your entire life, the basis of your existence, after all that time... ouch!

Kai is BACK ? Seriously ? Again ? I mean I like him, but let’s just say there are other people I would like to see again (#enzo❤️)

Btw I’m really conflicted about Bonnie trying to bring Enzo back : I want her to do it, of course, I want Enzo back, but I don’t want her to loose herself in the process 😱😭 I’m so scared for her :(

Stefan literally killing the Devil like 😎😎 “oh yeah bitch, bet you weren’t expecting that uh” ☝️ I am so so PROUD of my babyface :) also I’m really glad they got rid off Cade (ugh, I was so done with him)

Ahah, Kai’s in another prison world 🤣

OF 👏 COURSE 👏 KATHERINE 👏 IS 👏 THE 👏 QUEEN 👏 OF 👏 HELL 👏

Aaawwww I really really loved when Damon gave Elena’s necklace to Caroline 💕 their little chat was very cute: he knew she was quite sad because her wedding was being rushed and used as an excuse to drag out Katherine; she was going to walk down the aisle without her mother; Bonnie wasn’t gonna come; Elena wouldn’t be there; Alaric didn’t want to come... the MOST important day of her life was basically ruined 👰 and... idk he was being very sweet and compassionate with her :)

OOOOHH THEY’RE ACTUALLY GETTING MARRIED FOR REAL THOUGH! And Bonnie’s here!! Soooo cute 💖 I love how Damon insisted on the “does anybody want to object against this wedding?” part, like “really? No one?”

NOOOOOOOO THE GIRLS 😱😱🔥🤬

Omg they’re fine, I’m so relieved 🙏

Awww Bonnie saying goodbye to Enzo for real... that was so... bittersweet 😭 But he’s right: she’s gotta live her life. She cannot spend her entire life thinking about the people she could have spent more time with: Enzo, Elena, for instance. She has to focus on herself. On being happy. And I’m really glad for her ❤️

Katherine is literally gonna blow up the WHOLE TOWN !! Seems a bit extreme but I’m really not surprised xD such a Katherin-y thing to do, if you think about it

OMG FINAL EPISODE 😱😱😱

Okay, first I was like “I don’t understand why is everybody so obsessed with the idea of saving Mystic Falls”. 🤷‍♀️ Sure it’s their home, their childhood town, full of memories and all... but since Matt helped evacuate the entire town, there was no immediate danger for the population of MF. And at the end of the day, it’s JUST a town 🏙 It’s just buildings and roads and objects that can be replaced. It can be rebuilt over time. So Bonnie, Caroline, Damon, Stefan... they could have all just run far way from MF and then everything would have been just FINE 👍

But THEN Katherine captured Elena and trapped her in the high school 😈 NO WAY the Salvatore brothers would have just sacrificed Elena in hellfire 🔥🙅‍♀️

NOOOOOO I don’t want Damon to die 😭 But I also don’t want Stefan to die! Why do their plans always include one of them dying? Sounds like Supernatural 😅

THANK GOD 🙏 Bonnie’s here to save the day 💖 Damn, what would they ever do without her?? I liked how she fought for herself till the very end :) “it’s not my time” YOU BET YOUR ASS IT’S NOT 👏

OOOOMMMMGGG STEFAN’S DEAD 💀😱🔥 HE CAME BACK!!! HE CAME BACK FOR HIS BROTHER!! HE SAVED DAMON!! HE SACRIFICED HIMSELF!!! HE LEGIT DESTROYED HELL!! AND HE KILLED KATHERINE WITH IT!! 🤯

AND DAMON IS HUMAN!!! 🤯🤯🤯

AWWWWW LEXI IS THERE!! 🥰 I’m so happy to see her! I’ve missed her! Awww he found peace with his best friend 💕 I’m so glad for him! He deserves that!

“I was feeling epic” 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Honestly, it felt kinda cheap and too easy that Bonnie would just suddenly realise she had enough power to do ANYTHING, including breaking the spell that she wasn’t supposed to interfere with in ANY way, because she would be risking Elena’s life (and probably her own). Like, ok, she destroyed hell and that boosted her confidence enough that she decided she would just try it ? 🤷‍♀️ mmm... seems too easy... like why didn’t she do that earlier then ? Why did this entire season even happen then ? What was the point? What was the point of Bonnie realising she was worth living her life and that she didn’t have to feel guilty about Elena? Why would the show erase that wonderful character growth??? I- 🤷‍♀️

“We’ll see him again” ❤️ awwww I really love how they decide to develop Damon and Caroline’s relationship in the end... They both really acted like brother / sister in law. And that was genuinely cute. They both lost someone they loved and cared about deeply. I like that they know they can count on each other.

Awwwww Stefan got Caroline’s message, that’s really cute :) I hope it will help her move on, knowing he heard her, and he will love her forever too 💕

BONNIE’S HAPPY!!! SHE’S ALONE BUT SHE IS FINE BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T NEED SOMEBODY ELSE TO BE HAPPY! SHE LOVES HERSELF AND SHE LOVES LIFE AND SHE’S GONNA ENJOY HER LIFE TO THE FULLEST AND TRAVEL THE WORLD!! YAY! 🌈🎊🎉

The Salvatore boarding school : so it’s basically Hogwarts? Okay why not 🤷‍♀️ It’s not the big ending I was expecting for Caroline and tbh I’m a bit disappointed (but I guess her story doesn’t stop there and it’s more of a To Be Continued kind of ending) but it makes perfect sense for Alaric 🤔 Jo seing her daughters 💖 And Jeremy is a teacher there LMAO 😆

Awwwwww my Klaroline feels ❤️❤️❤️ “however long it takes” I CANNOT BELIEVE THE SHOW GAVE US A “MAYBE” FOR THAT SHIP. Honestly it’s more than I ever wished I would get! I’ll make my own headcanons, it’s perfect!

“I owe it all to Stefan” awww, true :’)

So what I got from Elena’s monologue: she had a great life, she was happy, she became a doctor, she grew old in Mystic Falls, she married Damon (funny how she doesn’t mention having kids? It was one of her biggest dreams, so idk 🤷‍♀️), then I guess SHE died before Damon did (-> what makes me think that is the scene where she holds his hands and says something along the lines of “I know peace exists and I know he will find it someday even though he doubts it” and then he disappears and she finds herself in the after life), and then she found peace and got reunited with her family in death 🧐 So bittersweet, I liked it! 💕 Even if I think it would have deserved to be a bit longer, a bit more explained, a bit more developed than just a “here’s what happened” 🤷‍♀️ It did feel rushed :/

“Hello brother” WAS THE LAST LINE OF THE SHOW! HOW. EPIC. IS. THAT.

[wordsinwinters]

Then Again, Part 25  (Peter Parker x Reader)

Masterlist (with AO3 links)

Total word count: 47,470

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 26, 

Summary: After an intense argument and a forced-to-share-the-bed situation during their junior year decathlon trip, Peter and the Reader examine their faults and failings. As they attempt to fix their mistakes and improve their friendship, that friendship quickly begins to evolve into something else. 

Slow burn fic in which all characters are included and their dynamics explored; multiple character POVs. 

Betas: @girl-tips-from-satan and @fanboyswhereare-you

Without further ado,

Then Again Part 25:

(Words: 3,948)

“It’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

The thought of Peter making more of an effort, of him consciously choosing to pay me closer attention with the active intention of improving our friendship-- it isn’t the worst idea. If anything, it’s a rather attractive solution to a nonexistent problem. The suggestion alone is already prompting imaginary scenarios I refuse to acknowledge right now; though, inevitably, they’ll become daydream fuel within a couple days. Still, the whole plan is unnecessary, and I know it. I’m not angry with him anymore. I may have a few questions (some I plan on asking, some I’ll keep to myself), but if I do have any hidden resentment for his behavior stowed away in my subconscious, it’s as small and inconsequential as a handful of sand in the sea. Allowing him to carry this plan out would be using him. The pretenses would be false. 

Even apart from that, though, his texts gave off an odd, metallic aftertaste. The proposal reads mechanically-- it’s a scientific study with a simple hypothesis (and a reluctant dependent variable). It’s the idea of being a lab mouse, I think, that earns it the title the dumbest thing in my mind. It’s condescending. Even if tempting. 

Then again, I know Peter. I understand he doesn’t actually view me as a test subject to analyze and discard after the results come in. We’re friends. He feels bad and tossed out a poorly worded solution because he thinks I’m secretly pissed at him. It’s only an idea he offered, one I have full power to reject. 

Maybe I’m trying to dismiss it quickly because, if I’m being honest, I’m selfish. Selfishly, I want to say yes despite knowing the sort of negative message it would send to Peter. A small part of me is willing to let him feel worse so I can pretend his own guilty feelings are more significant than they really are. The possibility, the mirage just within reach, of balancing that tightrope between reality and fantasy with him is... alluring, to say the least.

And impossible. It would be wrong. Wouldn’t it? Of course it would be.

Like blades slicing fruit in a blender, my brain whips through these thoughts within seconds. Across on her bed, Michelle’s expression can only be described as disapproving or faintly disgusted as she too digests Peter’s idea. It’s the male stupidity is endless look we share when near particularly annoying men in public. It’s not often one we have to exchange in reference to the boys; their moronic moments tend to be entertaining rather than obnoxious, ignorant, or misogynistic.

She meets my eyes, and I wonder if my face gives anything away. 

“That feels weird to me.” 

The sentence is a verbal tiptoe forward, an almost-question probe.

“It did sound weird saying it out loud,” I agree. 

“You know,” she says, her tone mildly serious as she sits up straighter. “You’re not obligated to say yes to everything because you don’t want to disappoint someone. Especially a boy. And especially if he’s trying to fix his dumb mistakes by pressuring you into something you’re not comfortable with.” She pauses, glancing at the ceiling and raising an eyebrow. “If you want, I can make him come to his senses.”

Michelle tightens her fists and mimes three exaggerated punches. I imagine it, amused: Before the bite, Peter wouldn’t have stood a chance against her if she really meant it; now, he’d probably put his arms up to block her blows, minimally annoyed, and wait for her to tire herself out. I roll my eyes and can’t help mirroring her smile. 

Nevertheless, her wording is…. 

The same question pops up for the millionth time. 

Do I want her to know?

“It’s Peter, it’s not, like, ‘a boy,’” I say first, air quoting the last words. Maybe later, depending. But for now, I’ll avoid it. “And I’ll pass, but I appreciate the offer. I’m not uncomfortable and he isn’t being pushy or anything. I only meant that the…” nearly impersonal approach to our personal relationship? “the hyperconscious wording is weird. I wouldn’t turn down free snacks if the offer wasn’t described as a….” situation in which he views us as mere associates or abstract friends--

Again, I remind myself he probably doesn’t see it that way. 

“Monitored social experiment with unequal power dynamics?” she offers.

That fits.

“Precisely.” 

She snorts. Shaking her head, Michelle pauses for a few more seconds. Mentally chewing it all over again, her expression bounces from annoyance to curiosity to neutrality to annoyance again to what looks surprisingly close to compromise or understanding. In the meantime, I focus on watching her facial journey and not thinking. 

In the tune of surrender, she sighs before she speaks.

“I’m sure he’s trying his best,” she says reluctantly, her hands opening outward like a shrug, “his best is just bad. If it were anyone else, I’d tell you to refuse and block them. But, as much as it pains me to admit, I think we both know him too well to think his motives are as stupid as his phrasing. If anything, he’s probably excited about his ‘new genius friendship plan.’”

Nodding, relief hums under my skin: I know she’s right. I mean, how many people would fight crime to protect countless strangers in their city, then turn around and have cold, detached views of their chosen, personal friends? 

“That’s true,” I say. “I should probably text him back, then.”

She holds up a finger as I reach for my phone.

“Still,” she adds with a tone of subtle authority, “it’s up to you. I’m not saying you should say yes -- no obligations, remember? -- I just don’t think you need to worry that he isn’t trying or isn’t being genuine. That’s all.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Michelle’s stare lasts a moment longer, her sincerity as visible and certain as the brown of her eyes. After a second or two, she sits back onto her pillows and relaxes, turning to face the t.v. once again, leaving me to work out my final decision on my own. As I allow myself to reiterate my own arguments in my head, the Cullen family discusses the mythology of half human, half vampire fetuses with Jacob. 

It doesn’t take me long to reach a conclusion. Maybe it’s because I’m pretty tired, but the answer seems obvious, straightforward and simple in logic. I unlock my phone with the feeling Michelle knows exactly what I’m about to type. I begin to write the message I had settled on before: “I’ll think about it.” Simple and honest. And temporary.

But then something else pops into my brain, and, foolishly, I write that instead.

“What about you? Do you need new reasons to be around me?”

I send the text without a moment’s reflection. Rereading it, it sounds a little… coded, to say the least. Like a Freudian slip. Don’t overthink it. God, I hate Freud. But it does sound desperate. And awkward. Damn. It definitely does. It reminds me of the embarrassing things I used to post on social media in middle school, which I really shouldn’t think about either. 

I only wondered if the idea should go both ways. Instead, the message sounds insecure... which I am, I suppose, but he doesn’t need to know that.

Bubbles appear on his side. I resist the urge to send a series of backpedaling messages. They disappear. Again. My self control dissipates and I quickly send the original one: I’ll think about it.

Unthinking, I pull the small keychain out of my pocket as I wait for his reply and massage the edge. Sticking the pointed corner into my thumbpad, I accidentally dig it in harder than intended. And I realize something. 

The keychain was the first. The gifts or incentives or things. 

A flat click of a nearby door closing snaps my attention. The boys’ room? Glancing up, I see flash of Edward pleading with Jacob on the t.v. screen, and to my left, a shadow stepping up to the door. A gap in the golden line of outside light.

For half a minute, nothing happens. Aside from Rosalie shouldering past Jacob as he walks in to speak to Bella. After that, when it does come, the sound is soft.

Knock. Knock knock knock knock, knock knock.

It’s Peter. Ned’s knocking pattern is shorter.

The sound jolts my heart rate a smidge, like a phantom defibrillator.

Michelle’s head rolls to one side to stare at the hallway, her shoulders slumped in an I’m giving up posture. 

“That’s very obviously for you,” she says, pushing herself up and tossing the Twizzler bag on the nightstand, “so I’ll let you go deal with it. I think I’ll brush my teeth and get ready for bed.” She hops off the mattress, raises her arms, and stretches them from side to side. “You okay if we call it a night?”

“More than okay,” I say, standing up as well, the carpet cool under my toes. Once I speak to Peter, I’ll need to knock out. Otherwise my brain will spiral. And maybe, if all goes well, my dreams tonight will be better than staying up to snicker at this hilariously shitty movie. “But what if it is for you?” 

She rolls her eyes.

“Tell them I’m gone. Missing, dead, whatever.” Michelle clamps her eyes shut and sticks her tongue out to mimic cartoonish death. Then she pops back to life with a fake warning glare. “So long as no one bothers me.”

She hits the off button on the remote, Jacob and Bella dissolving into nothing, and as she trudges to the bathroom, I slip the keychain and a keycard back into my pocket before copying her arm stretch to calm my buzzing nerves. Michelle salutes me before turning and closing the bathroom door. I walk to the hallway’s. The handle is cold to the touch.

I swing it open. As expected: Peter. The empty space surrounding him is relatively quiet, only muffled laughter and television sounds coming from rooms at the opposite end. The air smells like linens, cleaning supplies, and artificial lavender. This too is as expected: the typical, sanitary comfort of staying in a nice hotel at night. I tell myself it’s a calming environment. 

Peter’s in his usual pajamas, an old beat up t-shirt and sweatpants, standing slightly to the left, hands clasped in front of him. His height drops a tiny bit at the sound of the door, like he was rocking from heel to toe a second ago, and as his eyes lift from the floor to meet mine, he smiles. A warm swooping sensation envelops my stomach. 

“Hey! You answered.” 

He almost sounds surprised. I make a face in response. 

“You thought I wouldn’t?”

I mean this as a joke, a reference to the couple late nights he’s shown up at my door (window, really) to clean or patch himself up before going home. As he knows, I’m not in the habit of shutting him out. 

Still, his head tilts and his eyebrows go up into an expression of, Well, you weren’t exactly answering me before. It isn’t a challenging or upset look. If anything, it’s almost flustered.

“Fair enough,” I concede, lukewarm guilt sticking in my throat. “I was thinking about it though, I promise, I just hadn’t decided for sure yet.”

He nods, fidgeting with his fingernails and momentarily glancing at the floor.

“Yeah, I get that,” he says, looking back up. His ears redden. “I, uh, phrased it pretty moronically. Or at least that’s what Ned said.” 

He takes a step or two back, closer to his door. It seems like an invitation to make the conversation more private, so I close mine and Michelle’s and step forward.

“All I meant,” he continues, his hands rolling over one another in gesture, “was that I thought it might be helpful if I did a few nice things for you when we get back. Not like I’m actually trying to condition you, like a, like a--”

“Dog?”

His hands halt and his face pinches into an expression that practically reads I am painfully aware of every mistake I have ever made and how the number continues to grow in marker across his forehead. His eyes retain a lightness though, the sort that suggests he’s able to laugh about it. He runs his right hand through his hair. Mine twinges.

“Exactly. I feel like that makes it seem kind of, um--”

“Bad?”

“Very bad,” he confirms, nodding. He takes a deeper breath, half smiling in an embarrassed, self pitying way. “I honestly forgot about that Pavlock stuff, I was just trying to use psych terms to make it sound more persuasive and, um, I don’t know, impressive?”

He shrugs and offers an I know I’m an idiot, but thank you for being patient smile. I bite my tongue against correcting Pavlov, which he seems incapable of pronouncing properly. Even when we studied for that exam, he only said it properly a handful of times, despite Michelle flicking bits of paper at him each time he said Pavlock.

I smile too, noting the irony. And I think of what she said: he’s trying his best, his best is just bad. It doesn’t seem so bad when he’s standing in front of me, though. If anything, it’s easy. 

“You mean,” I begin to ask, more to tease than to clarify, “as opposed to the highly offensive and disagreeable, ‘Hey, I want to make up for being a jerk, so I’m going to stash some snacks for you in my locker’?”

He bites his lip as if it’ll keep his grin pinned down, though it doesn’t really. A blush spreads across his cheekbones and for a split second, he looks away to the other end of the hall. When he looks back, his smile falters, just a little. The vulnerability reminds me of his apology last night, when he thought I was sleeping. 

“I was thinking maybe it’d be more than snacks?” he offers. “Like, I don’t know, I don’t really have it figured out yet, but hanging out a bit more? Movie nights or that sort of thing? Or if you have a lot of homework, we could study together and help each other stay focused?”

That last suggestion seems like an oxymoron. Study together to keep ourselves on track? It’s a laughable concept. Well, only if it’s--

“Just us?”

Peter freezes, his shoulders straightening slightly, his height rising a few millimeters. 

That is the central question, though. Whether it’s a positive or negative point toward my decision, I can’t tell. All the same, it’s been ages since we last tried studying together, just the two of us. It works best with Michelle and Ned there as well, seeing as we tend to get distracted. 

His eyes move quickly between mine as if he’s trying to read my thoughts before answering. He squints.

“Is that okay?” he asks, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. “I understand if not, if it’s uncomfortable or--”

I shake my head, putting my hand on his arm to stop him, only realizing it when his eyes flicker to that hand.

“Of course not,” I say, removing it. “I mean, of course it’s okay. We’ve hung out without Ned and MJ tons of times before. It’s been a while but it’s no big deal. That’d be fine.”

“Okay, good!” he says, the tension in his body evaporating. “That’s great!” 

His eyes have lit up. I imagine he’s relieved those two won’t be around the whole time to make fun of his movie choices or whatever he has planned. I try to hold a smile to reassure him and clear his doubts while internally pinching myself to remember to not think too much on this. There’s no need to dust off those old, useless daydreams of movie nights and falling asleep on his shoulder with his head atop mine and May lightly laying a blanket across us and all the rest. Absolutely no need. Shut it down.

He runs a hand through his hair, nodding in a way that’s usually accompanied by him saying cool, cool, cool, cool.

“Would Fridays be good for movie nights?”

I barely register the question before I answer it.

“Probably, sure. That should be alright.”

His smile widens and he shakes his head once and continues nodding. 

“Perfect! We can have it at my place.”

I nod back, chest tightening as I process. At the same time, I beg my brain not to process. Just for a minute. But then, since I refuse to let them move forward, the gears in my head turn backward, thoughts reeling like a bicycle chain. Judging by the look on Peter’s face, we’re realizing the same thing:

“Wait,” he says carefully. “So you’re saying yes? Like, you’re cool with it? You want to try?”

God help me.

“I suppose so,” I say. At hearing my own answer, a different type of swooping feeling runs from my feet up. The looking over a high balcony type.

“And we’ll figure the rest out later?” he asks.

“Peter, really, if you’re still planning on the locker snacks, that’s more than enough.”

He laughs.

“Yeah, that’s what you think because you’re being lame. And limiting. And--”

“Leaving?”

It’s time, definitely. I’d forgotten how blinding Peter’s excitement and positivity can be without interference. Today has been full enough, I should end this now. 

“That’s fair,” he says. “I think Ned rubbed off on me. All that obnoxious energy.”

He shakes his whole body as if ridding himself of said energy and I restrain myself from making a joke about his word choice. Instead, I nod and with an exasperated “Night, Peter,” and step back toward my room. He does the same, heading toward his. Just before he makes to use his keycard, he pivots back. 

“Wait! I almost forgot.”

I turn around and he’s closer than before. Peter suddenly looks particularly nervous, his head angled to the side like a question, his hands fumbling over themselves. His cheeks are reddening again too, spreading from his cheeks to his hairline.

“Yeah?”

He steps forward to place himself directly in front of me. His eyes flit a quick path which his hands follow-- they reach out to touch my elbows before jumping up to my shoulders, settling there almost steadily before shooting a little higher to suddenly but gently hold my head. And then he leans over and firmly kisses my forehead. As he pulls away, one hand disappears and the other musses up my hair.

What is he--? 

We both take a tiny step back. My pulse pounds as my thoughts blur into nothing but impressions of nonsensical, ridiculous questions my brain won’t dignify with clarity. Peter’s expression is halfway between an apology and.. a dare? His eyes are as wide as I know mine must be, but there’s something playing at his lips. For a second, it feels as though we’re balanced on a challenge neither of us is willing to answer. 

The bubble of the moment pops as he shakes his head and gestures vaguely to his and Ned’s room, his floundering arm movements returning him to the strong appearance of embarrassment.

“May,” he blurts, “Aunt May threatened to, uh, um, well, that part’s not really important, if I didn’t pass that along with ‘all her love.’” The red in his face deepens. “Apparently she’s not too happy I didn’t do that last night too.”

Of course. It makes immediate sense. The memory rushes back. She told him to do that to all of us when she dropped us off at the bus that morning. I might laugh at my own stupid shock and poor memory but I can’t seem to manage it. 

“Do you want me to get MJ too?” I ask, realizing May likely demanded that he make the rounds. Maybe this is what started that play fight between him and Ned tonight. Either Ned dodged it or made a joke about wishing May were there to do it herself. 

It clicks together.

“What?” He looks lost, his head tilted to the side, brow knotted up. “What do you mean?”

“Unless, do you want me to pass it along from May?”

The realization hits across his face. He shakes his head rapidly.

“No, no, no, she’d probably kill me if I tried to do that to her. But, I mean, if you want to pass it along-- or just tell her to lie if May asks. She probably won’t, honestly, but, you know, just in case.”

His shrug and half smile are practically helpless. May ought to have more mercy on him. And me. 

“Alright.” A grin breaks over my face in a way I don’t quite understand and can’t stop. “I’ll see you in the morning then.”

“Right. Goodnight, then. See you in the morning.”

“Night, Peter.”

Rather than stepping back, as intended though, I rush forward. Involuntarily, or at least I’ll pretend, since it’s just as surprising to me as it is to him, I lean forward and kiss his cheek. Or try to. It happens too quickly to register fully, but I’m almost positive I knick the corner of his mouth? That would definitely be unintentional.

“ThatwasforMay,” I explain, stumbling backward. Seeming to sense it, Peter grabs my arm to steady me before I trip outright. He releases his grip and stares, stunned. 

If I thought his eyes were wide earlier, it turns out they can open much wider. His pupils are comically blown open. 

“What?” he asks, seeming concerned. “What was that? I, uh, I didn’t catch what you said.”

“That was, um, that was for May. You know, in exchange.”

That’s perfect. For the first time in a while, my brain saves me.

His face, though still flushed red, relaxes.

“You’ll see her tomorrow,” he points out. “Like, we’ll all see her at the same time. It’d be kind of pointless to pass that on, wouldn’t it?”

Shit. My brain is useless.

“Then, uh… keep it?”

His facial muscles twitch as if he’s glitching between a smile and bewilderment. Then a flint of mischief.

“Unless,” he says slowly, “you want me to pass it along to Ned?”

“And it’s official,” I say, resisting the urge to smack him. “Goodnight!”

He grins as near as he ever gets to a smirk (a term I associate too closely to ass-hattery to assign to him) and I turn to my room as he repeats it back.

We both step to our doors and open them. I glance back just in time to see him practically jump into his room with a speed that reminds me he’s a superhero, even if he’s an idiot. Filled with tangled emotions, I pause, listening or waiting or catching my breath. I only need a moment.

Behind his and Ned’s door, there’s a sudden crash, a sound like leaping bedsprings and something smashing, immediately followed by Peter groaning and Ned’s mocking laughter. Right before I go to my own room, I hear Peter’s exasperated voice: Shit! Dude, can you help me fix it? 

The room is dark when I slip back inside but the alarm clock shines enough red to see vague outlines of the walls and dressers and beds. Legs slightly numb, I stumble my way to the small bathroom to get ready for bed. It only takes a couple minutes, distracted as I am. 

I slip into the blankets of my bed. The warm body heat next to me can only mean one thing: Michelle.

It’s just one of those unspoken things. 

Next update: God only knows.

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[eldritchsurveys]

740.

How many walls are in your bedroom? >> Six, because the closet juts out from one of the corners. What do you think about Fall Out Boy? >> I enjoy their music quite a bit, especially Save Rock and Roll and Mania. Do you know where Guatemala is? >> Generally, yes. Specifically, nope. Do you find musicians attractive? >> I think being skilled in an art form -- but especially music -- is attractive, but not, like, “I want to sleep with you”-attractive, which is what I think people mean by this question. Just... I like art, I especially like music, by extension I’m interested by people who make art and especially music. Do you like hard boiled eggs? >> Yeah.

Do you know anyone named Hector? >> I used to, but we didn’t really call him that, we called him Luis. Would you move to another country for the one you love? >> I’ve moved across country for someone, but emigration is a lot harder than that, so I don’t know. I think what’s more important is whether I could even emigrate in the first place, seeing as the process is difficult even for people with money and marketable skills... Do you own an instrument? >> No. What do you usually have for lunch? >> I don’t usually eat a lunch, per se. I kind of graze for most of the day. The most organised thing I might make is a sandwich or some microwave thing. Ever had a pregnancy scare? >> Yes. What do you think about the Purple People Eater? >> I don’t really know what it is, if I’m honest. I’ve heard the song and I’ve heard references to it, but that’s it. Are you pale or tan? >> Dark-skinned. I’ve seen complaints about the America-centric lines of questioning in surveys, but can we talk about the whiteness lmao... What’s the weather like right now? >> Cloudy and chilly. I don’t know where Lady Spring is, but someone please tell her that I am dying. Do you like cats? >> Not especially. I can live with one if I must, obviously, since I do; but I’m not really interested in his existence or anything. I’m kind of turned off by people going apeshit about cats all the time, if I’m honest, but it’s hard to be honest about that without people taking offense. It’s not you, it’s me, etc etc. (It’s probably because I’m a spider and everyone hates spiders.) What’s the best part about Wal*Mart? >> I don’t know, I’m not terribly fond of Wal*Mart myself. Do you think Akon is amazing or annoying? >> I haven’t heard his name in years, lmao. Also, I have no opinion. Do you like the buzz cigarettes give you? >> Yeah, which is the reason I pick up a clove every now and then. Sometimes I just want to get into that headspace. Are you a practical joker? >> No. Do you like pop? >> Not the Pepsi and Coke kinds. I like “weird” sodas, I guess. And ginger beer, which is sort of like a soda. What are you looking forward to? >> Hmm. Oh, Sparrow is going back to work on Monday, apparently! Out of context it sounds like I hate her or something, probably, but it’s not that at all. She’s the only person I can bear being quarantined with. But like, I just like being in the apartment alone for a while. I feel... constricted when someone else is around all the time, and while that’s lessened with her it isn’t nonexistent lmao. I just need time where I’m left to my own devices without being observed by other people, any other people, it’s a weird need but it’s mine and I’ll be glad to have that need met again. Have you ever laughed so hard you couldn’t breathe? >> Yeah. What’s your favorite band? >> The Receiving End of Sirens is one. Do you feel stupid when you spill things on yourself? >> Yeah. Are you excited for summer? >> I would be, under normal circumstances! Now I just dread having to be stuck inside for the whole thing. I’m going to try walking trails and stuff, just to... be the fuck outside, but still. Have you ever snuck out? >> No. When’s the last time you were kissed? >> Oh, I don’t know. Would you ever eat popcorn & salsa? >> No, thanks. Do you sleep with the television on? >> Nope. I require silence. The only exception is, say, I’m in a motel room and other guests are being rowdy. Then I’ll put on something to, like, have a controlled and constant sound going as a counter to their chaos. Would you ever want to be able to be invisible? >> I mean, sure, there are situations where I could see that being advantageous. What does your favorite shirt look like? >> I don’t have one. What’s your favorite scent? >> ^ Skype, Msn, Aim, or Yahoo? >> Discord. What’s your favorite time of the day? >> I like dawn. I also like dusk, but only in the summer. Summer dusk is a beautiful thing. Do you hate the phrase “love ya” when coming from a boyfriend/girlfriend? >> No...? What do you do when someone in the room has b.o.? >> Distance myself as much as possible, as discreetly as possible. I don’t want to embarrass them, I just don’t want to deal with sensory overload. What movie would you like to see right now? >> Oh, stuff. How many times a day do you shower? >> It depends on the day. Some days, zero. Some days, once. What do you think of the name Chloe? >> It’s all right. I wouldn’t give it to a character, but it’s all right. Do you like Hollister? >> I’ve never even been inside one. (I’m pretty sure that’s one of the stores that they spray fragrance throughout, like Abercrombie, so that’s all the reason I need to never go inside.) What’s your favorite alcoholic drink? >> Absinthe. Do you like 80’s music? >> Sure, some of the music I like was made in the eighties. Do you have to wear glasses or have contacts? >> No. Do you play Halo or Gears of War? >> I played Gears with a friend years ago. I don’t play it now, though. That kind of game is pretty much only enjoyable for me with a friend, so. How do you feel about cleaning? >> I hate it, but I love the results. What do you think of emo kids? >> I appreciate them. Do you like the movie Grease? >> I haven’t seen it since I was a teenager, probably, so I don’t really remember it. I just have a vague recollection of a couple of the songs, and I remember what the main characters looked like. I’d probably like it if I watched it again; my thing for greasers is still alive and kickin, after all. Do you like singing? >> Sure do.

What’s your favorite Jim Carrey movie? >> The Number 23! I love that movie so much. Now I want to rewatch it.... I’m going to rewatch it. I’m going to spend four dollars to rent it on YouTube as soon as I’m finished with this smh, I can’t resist. It just hits me right where I live,  something about it is so intensely relatable for me, I don’t know. Probably because I’m haunted by a number, too. Runner-up for fave Carrey flick is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. There’s a knock at your door at 4 in the morning; what do you do? >> Nothing. Whoever it is, we have no business with them. Do you like peaches? >> Sure. Ever lost a best friend? >> No.

Ever heard of a town called Wadena? >> No. Have you ever been to a funeral? >> Yes. What’s your favorite sport? >> Figure skating. What do you think about homeschooling? >> I’m interested in it, and the ways in which it can be implemented. I’m also pretty against a lot of things about public schooling in America, so, you know. What do you think about French people? >> I don’t have any opinions about French people. Do you like your parents? >> They don’t like me, which I think settles the issue right there. What do you think about Minnesota? >> I don’t have any thoughts about Minnesota. Do/did you like high school? >> I did not. Do you have any Asian friends? >> I’m acquainted with a few Asian people. Is it cold where you live? >> Yes, still. I fucking hate it. Do you find accents attractive? >> I mean, not as a rule. I find the mechanics of language interesting, so that attracts me, I guess. Do you hate it when people make spelling mistakes? >> No. Would you ever let your boyfriend/girlfriend do your makeup? >> Sure. She knows more about it than I do. Do you like to shop? >> No. How long are you on the computer during a 24 hour period? >> For just about the entire time I’m awake, nowadays. When I’m not in quarantine, then it depends on what else is happening that day. Is money really that important? >> I mean, sure it’s important. I can’t believe that would ever be in question. Wars are fought over it, people suffer and die because they don’t have enough of it, and people lose their whole sense of compassion and empathy when they have too much of it. It’s important, all right. Have you ever broken a bone? >> Nope. Who is your favorite family member? >> --- What size bed do you have? >> Twin, because it’s the only size that would fit in this room without making it utterly claustrophobic. I bark my elbow on the wall and accidentally knock shit off my nightstand all the time, but at least it’s a real bed that belongs to me, for once. What age do you want to be married? >> Well, I was 32, so.

What’s the last thing your wrote? >> Like, longhand? I have no idea. What do you think of your town? >> I don’t care for it. When’s the last time you played hide & go seek? >> Thanksgiving or some holiday like that. I played with Edward, who is a toddler. I always play with him when we see his parents on holidays, even when it makes me tired (where do kids get all that energy???), because I like him.

[heyyyharry]

In Another Life Series: Chapter 5 - The Love Triangle

…in which Harry gets back with his ex and Y/N thinks it’s a terrible idea.

Series description: Y/N and Harry are soulmates and destined to meet in every lifetime, but no matter how many times they reincarnate and find each other again, they never seem to get it right.

AU: reincarnation, soulmate!harry, prince!harry, assistant!y/n, witch!y/n.

Chapter 4 - The One He Loved: Heartbroken Harry and his assistant Y/N disappear for a day.

I know spooky season ended already but…

.

“I was alone in a room, in a big castle…There were many portraits on the walls, the faces I cannot remember…” Y/N narrated with intensity in her eyes. Her eyebrows were pinched together as she shifted to be more comfortable in the velvet armchair. “I walked to the closest door, which led me to a long corridor. Standing at the other end was a shadow of a man. He was just standing there, like a statue, so I called for his help and started running to get to him, but no matter how hard I tried I always stayed in the same spot. Then suddenly, I fell down into a big black hole…just keep falling…falling…until I see them again…two flames in a pair of green eyes.”

“Wow…” her best friend Jason finally spoke to break the silence she left for him. “And then you woke up?”

“Yes.” She sighed. “My dreams, they always ended that way.”

“Are you sure those are the eyes in the King’s portrait?” Jason questioned and she could see the obvious doubt in his facial expression. He either thought she’d been doing drugs or she was just out of her mind. However, the fear she had after waking up told her she had never been saner.

“I’m 100% sure!” Y/N asserted. “There’s still one more thing I haven’t told you.”

“What’s that?”

“Harry Styles’ got the same pair of eyes.”

“Harry, your boss?” Jason tilted his head down and raised both eyebrows as he stared at his best friend in disbelief. She didn’t reply with words, just gave him a slight shrug in return.

“Y/N…” he began. “Are you seriously telling me your boss is the reason you’re having these spooky dreams every night, and that he is somewhat related to the king who died like five centuries ago?”

“Look…I’m not joking, I’d never had those dreams before I started working for him.” Now not only did she sound completely crazy, but she also sounded obsessive.

“Maybe you’re just stressed that’s all. Being a celebrity’s personal assistant is a difficult job,” Jason assumed, giving his friend a smile. “Do you wanna go grab a coffee?”

Y/N exhaled exhaustedly and rose from the chair, leaving Jason a bit disappointed, knowing beforehand that his offer had been declined. “Nope, sorry. I have a meeting with Harry’s team to discuss his next tour.”

“This is exactly what I was talking about! Your life has been all about Harry Styles for the past month, he’s driving you insane.”

“Well, the man does pay me to follow him everywhere so…” She paused and lifted her shoulders slightly “…if he’s driving me insane, so be it.”

Jason knew too well he couldn’t convince her to quit her job for her mental health, so he just stayed quiet and watched her head to her room to get changed. 

“Y/N?” He spoke after a while.

“Hmm?” She hummed, her voice was muffled behind her closed door.

“I’m sorry about the kiss…”

Silence.

“I’m glad you decided to forgive me. I won’t do it again.”

He was holding his breath while waiting for a response (if she was gonna give him one). Maybe he should not have brought up this topic and just felt grateful to be the first person she’d call for help.

Y/N exited her bedroom shortly after, wearing a white blouse and her favourite pair of high-waisted jeans. She stood at the door with her hands on her hips and shot him a smile.

“Jason, you’re my best friend. I love you but only as a friend.”

“I know…”

“I don’t want to ruin this friendship we have.”

“I know,” he repeated those two words, which sounded less depressing this time so she would take it as a good sign.

“Now get up! You’re giving me a ride!” 

Despite the look of surprise on her best friend’s face, Y/N picked up her bag and her coat then headed straight to the front door.

…

It’d been a week since Ann decided to stay at Court and she had started to get impatient. The King was taking too long to consider her simple requests. If it hadn’t been for Edward, maybe she wouldn’t have stayed that long.

She was well aware of her social status, a girl like her would never end up with a prince like him, but like her mother had once said, ’you love who you love’. She couldn’t be at fault for loving someone, right?

“But mother,” Ann mumbled, watching Edward and his fiancé in the garden from her room’s window. “What if the person you love doesn’t love you in return?”

Her heart ached to the sound of her own question, to which she thought she might already know the answer. Therefore, Ann decided to try and focus on more important things rather than the fact that the man she loved was soon to be married. She took advantage of the absence of the guards outside her bedroom to sneak out and head into the woods.

Most people in the Kingdom would find the woods a very scary place. However, to Ann, the scariest place was the King’s Court. She could handle hungry wolves lurking in the dark, not angry and malicious people wanting the blood of her kind to spill.

There were myths about witches being ugly old ladies with pointy noses, dark souls and black hearts, the ones that would cook you for dinner and put you in a curse just because they could. However, people like Ann were nothing like that. They were just unfortunate human-beings born with dark magic on the tips of their fingers, the gift they’d never wished to possess. There were just a few families of witches in one village so as to not draw much attention. Once in a while, the young witches in an area would meet up to practice their spells and learn to have better control of their powers. 

There was a little cottage far in the woods, underneath of which was what they called ‘the meeting hall’. On the night Ann met Edward, she was on her way home from there.

“Ann darling! It’s so good to see you again!” Exclaimed an old witch when she saw the young girl. She took Ann by the hand and led her to the long table nearby, where sat a few others. Some were mixing potions, some were learning spells, some were putting them to practice. 

“These girls are only sixteen, seventeen.” The old woman sighed contently as she held onto Ann’s hand with both of hers. “I remember when you first came here with your mother. How time flies.”

“Yeah…” Ann nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she went on, “I need your help, Madam Maggie.”

“What is it dear? You look distressed!”

“Well…it’s about a man.”

“It’s always about men.” Madam Maggie rolled her eyes, smiling to show her gold front tooth. “Ann, darling, are you in love?”

“Not with whom I’m supposed to be in love with.”

“Who’s the lucky young man?”

“The Prince.”

“Ann!” Madam Maggie gasped, looking around to make sure no one else could hear this conversation. “Are you insane?”

“I think I am! I don’t know what to do! Is there a spell to erase my feelings for him? Or is there some kind of reverse love potion?”

“Darling, calm down!” The old witch puckered up her forehead as she pursed her lips to think for a second or two. “I’m afraid magic cannot help you with this, at least not without consequences. But how do you know the prince? His father is a terrible man—”

“He’s nothing like his father! It’s a long story, but I’m—“

Without waiting for her to finish, Madam Maggie took her right hand and started observing her palm. Ann knew what she was doing, in fact, it was something Ann was capable of doing as well, telling someone’s past, future, and present through their palm lines. The only downside to this was that you couldn’t read your own palm, someone else had to do it for you.

“You’re trying to help us by staying at Court!” Madam Maggie widened her eyes at the girl in shock and terror. “Ann, you’ve got to leave as soon as possible!”

“Why? W-What did you see?”

“Terrible things are going to happen if you stay for too long.”

“I need to wait until the King's made up his mind.”

“It’s a matter of life and death here Ann!” That sentence put the young witch to silence immediately.

“Life and death?” She asked, unable to believe it was true. “Whose?”

“Yours.”

For a second, Ann felt her entire body stiffen. Her face turned a shade lighter and her mouth fell open. “I’m going to die?”

“Different courses of actions can lead to different results, so I’m not sure, I just don’t think you should risk putting your own life in danger.”

“Everyone’s dying, it’s the risk I have to take!” Ann insisted, still the older witch didn’t agree.

“You cannot help anyone if something bad happens to you, darling. Leave the King’s Court, and go home.”

Ann looked down, frightened and at the same time downhearted. She couldn’t decide which one was worse: going home empty-handed, or never seeing Edward again, either way, it would be too painful to bear.

…

The meeting finished shortly because Harry couldn’t seem to concentrate. They all agreed to meet up again the next morning to continue the discussions. Jeff was slightly mad, he didn’t say it but everyone could tell. They assumed the reason for Harry’s distraction was Lillie, his girlfriend, who had been caught cheating but they’d got back together at the end of the day. 

However, it wasn’t Lillie, well, not entirely her, it was Y/N as well. It might sound weird to say his assistant had anything to do with him not being able to focus. Harry couldn’t explain it himself, he just knew from the first moment he’d met her, he couldn’t shake her off his mind. Maybe it was the fact that after their first day spent together, she refused to talk to him about anything else besides business, and he loved talking to her much more than he could admit.

As the rest of Harry’s team went out for lunch, he was left alone with Y/N. They were going to a fitting next for him to try on his new suits for a movie premiere, which he’d be attending tomorrow night.

“Hey, Y/N,” Harry spoke nervously as he tapped lightly on her shoulder. The girl turned around and stared at him with round eyes. “Would you like to go to the studio with me later?”

“I’ve got a lot of work to do, sorry.”

“I’m your boss, I decide what task I want you to do.”

Y/N snorted, raising an eyebrow at the man in front of her. “Don’t use that tone on me.”

“Sorry…” Harry shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut for a second. He didn’t know where that demanding tone of his came from. He’d never been like that before, maybe he was just upset because she was acting so coldly towards him. “I just can’t write, I need someone to talk to I guess, makes me feel more at ease.”

“Where’s your girlfriend? Maybe she’ll be happy to help,” she reminded him. Even though she’d tried to not sound too bitter about it, she thought she might’ve failed somehow.

“Lillie’s busy today, the entire day. I'm not even allowed to call her.”

Y/N didn’t say anything, just nodding her head, the thing she normally did when she was tired of hearing something and she just wanted it to be over.

“This is about me getting back together with her, isn’t it? You’re not talking to me because of it?”

“I am talking to you, Harry.”

“Not like this, I mean…really talk,” he explained then rolled his own eyes. “I’m not making sense but, I miss the conversations we had the day we first met, it’s only been about work since.”

“Okay, you want me to talk to you like a friend?” She asked, holding the folders to her chest with both arms. “You’re an idiot.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah, your assistant would say you’re so clever because she doesn’t want to lose her job, in the role of your friend, I’m saying that you’re an idiot,” she told him straightforwardly. “You got back together with a cheater. There are plenty of nice people around you Harry. You went around spreading the slogan ‘Treat people with kindness’ then ended up dating someone who treated you like you didn’t matter.”

“Lillie loves me.”

“Does she? Or is it only you that love her?” She shut him right up. He could only stare. “Do you even love her, Harry? Are you just staying because you think you have to or what?”

Harry actually stopped to think. She waited patiently as he did. Having only known this man for a month, Y/N cared about him way too much, more than she should. She really wanted him to be happy, and ever since he’d got back together with Lillie he’d been stressed. That was when you know the relationship was no longer valid.

Finally, Harry began, “you have no idea how hard it is to find someone who’s willing to stay with you for two long years despite everything. Lillie has sacrificed a lot to be with me. She told me her friend kissed her without her consent and I believed that. You should understand more than anyone because that’s what happened with your best friend right?”

“But—“

“You know what? Maybe I prefer you as just my assistant.”

Harry turned as soon as he finished that sentence and then stormed away, leaving her speechless. Little did she know, he regretted saying that immediately.

…

“Edward!”

“Ann, how are you?” Edward’s eyes brightened the moment he saw Ann. She looked beautiful today, even more than yesterday, if it was possible. He hoped he wasn’t showing how infatuated he was with her, but he was already smiling too wide to keep it hidden.

“Have you spoken to your father?” She asked, looking very worried. “It’s been a month, more people are dying of hunger, and not to mention more witches are being burnt. You’ve got to do something.”

“I’m still convincing him. I’m trying my best Ann,” he said, looking straight into her eyes. “But don’t worry, until he approves of abolishing the witch hunts, you’re safe here at Court.”

Ann shifted her eyes to her feet and Harry’s heart fell with them.

“What is it?” He asked, eyebrows pulled together as he laid a hand gently on her shoulder. “Why are you so upset?”

“If I don’t have my answer from the King by morning, I’m leaving tomorrow night, to go home. I don’t feel safe here, your mother hates me, Princess Emilié hates me, and your father…he looks at me like I’m his prey. Just...let me go home, at least I feel safer there.” 

“You have me here, I’ll keep you safe, love.”

Ann took a step forward, taking his right hand in hers and brought it to her chest. “You’re going to be King one day, you have more important things to care about.”

“Nothing is as important as you,” he told her softly, cupping her cheek with his other hand. There was no one around so he could just kiss her without worrying about her reputation or his own. However, he wouldn’t do that, not until she wanted to.

Ann was taken aback by those words. She wanted to raise a question whether or not he felt the same as she did, but it didn’t matter as she was going to leave.

“Is there another reason?” He asked after a moment of silence. She couldn’t look at him in the eyes, so that made him feel alarmed. Ann wanted to tell him the truth, but even she wasn’t sure what it was.

“Is it me?” Ironically, his question was the answer she was looking for. Yes. It was him. He was the reason she couldn’t stay. “Ann, please tell me…”

“You’re getting married to a princess,” was all she said before running off, ignoring him desperately calling after her. 

Whether he loved her, or he loved her not, they would never, ever, belong together.

…

Harry couldn’t write.

It had happened before but this time it seemed worse. It was getting late and he was lying on the floor in his home studio, a pencil in his mouth, holding a notebook above his face. He had been staring at the blank page for an hour now, still...nothing. Maybe he was stressed, or maybe he wasn’t inspired enough. It was a song about love, and he was in a relationship. It shouldn’t have been difficult to write about love when you were in love!

The knock on the door caused Harry to sit up straight. He told the person to come in and Y/N opened the door, leaning her shoulder against the wooden frame as she stared at him.

“Why are you on the floor?” She asked, raising an eyebrow but he just gave her a shrug and said nothing at all. “I brought you the Gucci suit for the movie premiere, left it in your bedroom.”

“Okay, thanks.”

Y/N pressed her lips together and told him she would see him tomorrow morning before turning around. Before Harry could even think twice about what he was going to say, he opened his mouth and the words escaped all on their own.

“Please stay.”

Y/N was left speechless. She turned back, eyebrows knitted together, lips slightly parted but she didn’t know what to say.

“I mean…stay here and talk to me for a while. I’m under a lot of stress and I don’t think my mind’s working anymore,” Harry sighed heavily while holding his head in his hand. “I need to get to the chorus before tomorrow morning.”

“I don’t think I can help,” she responded softly and slowly, but the look on her face told him she was weighing her options.

“I’m…” He hissed, looking up to lock eyes with her. “I’m sorry about what I said. I really don’t want to be alone now. I’m gonna go insane.”

She was quiet for a couple seconds, which seemed like hours to Harry. Finally, she nodded her head, making him sigh in relief.

“Okay, I’ll stay,” the assistant said with a small smile as she closed the door behind her.

“This is not a request from your boss, you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he told her out of guilt when she joined him on the floor. It was very demanding of him to ask her to stay here this late at night. She could just quit for this reason.

“I’m here as your friend.” She giggled, watching dimples appear on his cheeks. She might not notice, but it was the first time that day Harry genuinely smiled.

An hour passed by.

Then two hours.

Then three.

Then four…

The two had been so lost in the conversations to realize how fast time flew. Harry had only known this girl for a month, yet he felt he had for much longer than that. He’d told her a lot of things and she wasn’t afraid to confide in him either. It was indeed a magical night, in the quiet room lit up by the moonlight, two lonely souls healed each other.

“Is that your mum?” Harry broke the silence when he saw her lockscreen when her phone lit up in the dark.

“Yeah.”

“She’s beautiful.”

“Thanks. I lost her when I was fourteen, never got to know my dad.” She laughed sadly staring at the phone though the screen had turned black and all she could see was her own reflection.

“I’m sorry. I never should’ve brought her up.”

“No, no, I love talking about her, she’s taught me so much in life.” Y/N lifted her shoulders slightly and gave him a small smile. “She put so much trust in me. I just want to make her proud.” 

“I’m sure she’s proud of you.”

“Yeah right, she must be so proud of how lost and clueless her daughter is in life.” She rolled her eyes and exhaled a sarcastic laugh and expected him to react the same way. However, Harry’s face remained serious.

“I don’t think you’re lost and clueless. You have a passion for painting, right?” 

She nodded.

“As long as you have something you’re passionate about, you’re doing fine.”

“Wise words from Mr. Harry Styles!”

“I’m serious!”

“I know.” She was beaming at him. “Thank you.”

The silence sank in for a little while, they were just staring at everywhere else in the room but each other. Until Harry couldn’t take it anymore, he had to be the first to speak, “can I ask you a very personal question?”

“Yeah, sure. What is it?”

Have you been in love?

“Harry, what is it? Don’t just stare at me like that!” Y/N snorted and Harry only smiled awkwardly. He had no idea where that question had come from. All he knew was that he was curious, or he was probably just searching for confirmation to be sure if her idea of being in love was the same as his, though honestly, now he wasn’t so sure if he had an idea. 

He almost let it slip. Thank God he stopped himself just in time, for Harry knew such question would be too invasive, and she was still his employee despite him not seeing her as one. 

“How do you feel about going to a movie premiere?”

“I’ve never been to one so how do I know?! And it’s not even a personal question, Harry!” She tossed her head back and laughed, but then she was quick to notice the look on his face and realized what he was truly implying. “Wait, are you serious?”

“Yes! I want you to go with Jeff and me.”

“Harry, I’m not a celebrity! There’s no way I’m going!”

“It’ll be fun!"

“I—I have nothing to wear!” That’s a very good reason, she thought to herself. The face of Gucci would not take someone so underdressed to a red carpet event with him, and she was sure the most expensive item in her closet was cheaper than the cheapest one in his.

“You won’t have to worry about that if you say yes.”

“I don’t know…”

“What if I say going to a movie premiere with me is part of your job?”

“You’re overusing your powers!” Y/N scoffed as she picked up a wrinkled ball of paper and tossed it at him playfully.

“You left me no choice but to bring out boss Harry!” He defended himself, raising both hands in the air, cracking her up.

“I’ll think about it.” She pointed a finger at him and squinted her eyes. “So that’s a maybe.”

“Great! I’ll have your dress ready.”

“You’re unbelievable!” She rolled her eyes though there was no way she could hide the joy written on all over her face. He had made her day a thousand times better.

When the first ray of sunlight sneaked into the room through the gap between the window curtains, Harry and Y/N were still sitting on the floor with their backs against the wall. Harry had finished the first verse and chorus of his new song, and Y/N was still asleep, with her head on his shoulder. 

Sure he had got the work done before the deadline, which was worth to celebrate. Nevertheless, Harry didn’t know what to feel, when the song which was supposed to be about the love of his life, wasn’t inspired by his girlfriend of two years.

He carefully moved his head to the side and looked at his sleeping assistant who was subconsciously smiling in her sleep. Then he started to wonder, what would happen if she found out he’d written a song about her.

[storytimefromthecreed]

Mary Had A Little...

Annoyingly loud and not at all funny, he laughed with his crew and chugged what little remained in his cup. Tilting the handle back and finding it empty, Edward motioned for another and allowed his head to hang while he waited. Drunk Edward was irrational, loud, and unpredictable; but beggars weren’t choosers.

She had been watching him with as much amusement as she could muster before raising from her table at the other end of the bar and blending seeminglessly into the loud, rowdy patrons. Ignoring the yelling men who threw down their mugs and began to brawl by ducking under the barmaid’s tray of drinks, she reached him. Gently resting a hand on his shoulder, Edward turned to face her. His smile immediately dropped until he was fully frowning, and the table began to quiet.

“We need to talk.” Not wanting to give too much away surrounded by so many, she had hoped this was the most appropriate approach. Instead, Edward growled and got up without a word; leaving the table and staggering out the door. Feeling the eyes of the crew on her watching him, she looked at them with a raised brow. The crew went quiet, attempting to return to their drinks and conversation. They had seen the Assassin hood before and knew what it meant.

Stepping out of the bar was a relief as it was hot and smelled dirty, though, to be fair, it was just as hot outside. Thankfully, the airflow allieviated this by bringing in the smell and coolness of the sea. A wave of it washed over her, and she closed her eyes to embrace it. Once open, she scanned the area, admiring the moonlight coloring the water and shoreline silver, and listening to the sound of lapping waves.

“You have no right!” His slurred words cut through the peace, and she found him at the end of the stairs casting a dirty look. Edward saw her move towards him, and turned his back to her. She bound down the steps to keep up with him, but rage fueled him and his strides matched twice of hers. Whichever the reason, he was heading back to the ship and she was hot on his tail.

“You did call for me.” She justified when caught up with him and he stumbled. 

When she caught his arm to steady him, he yanked it away, glared at her, spitting, “Months ago.”

That stung.

Not caring to see if his words held the desired affect, Edward muttered and continued on his way. Edward always had a weird affect on her. Working in stressful situations with a clear head was her job, and yet he always managed to make her feel so vulnerable, like the layers of armor she wore were merely paper and he could cut through it without a thought. With a shake of her head, she took off after him again.

The Jackdaw bobbed in the gentle sea with a halo of moonlight emanating behind it. A pleasant sight that flooded her with more feelings and memories. This was where she got over her fear of the sea, where she learned more about herself and her morals than in her entire life as an Assassin, and where Edward confessed his love for her. Where she confessed hers for him. 

Luckily, the crew would be in bars or beds tonight, leaving Edward and her in privacy. Their footsteps echoed over the wood of the empty ship, and a shiver passed up her spine. The Jackdaw was just as she had remembered it, and yet the ship and it’s captain radiated an older and wiser feel, both having gone through terrible ordeal.

Edward was heading towards the captain’s quarters, and she paused to take in the ship. The mast creaked, the ropes hung loosely and moved like ghosts in the breeze, and the ship rolled with a groan. There was a strange tension in the air. It was silly, but she felt a presence watching her. It was as if the ship itself was angry at her, and didn’t like her onboard or following it’s master. Another shiver went up her spine, and this one she couldn’t repress. Sailors were superstitious for a reason. The need to watch her back felt overwhelming, so she did. All this she watched her as she ducked into his room, and closed the door behind them.  Edward had begun to light some candles. Once both parties could see, he took a seat at his desk and continued to glare at her.

“Who the hell do you think you are?” Edward’s voice was low, and his eyes were bright and intense. Before she could answer, he said, “I called for you months ago, and where were you? Hm? Where were you when my friends, my family, were being murdered? With the Assassins? No, even they showed up. You, on the other hand, nowhere to be found. Avenging them? No, that was me. Setting them free. Again, that was I alone. God! I thought you were dead!” Edward’s voice broke. His hands covered his face a moment before he exploded, “What the hell did you think you were doing disappearing like that?! You disappeared! What the hell was I supposed to think?!” Edward calmed himself by closing his eyes, his nostrils flared. “Where. Were. You?” 

The hairs on her arms rose, and she suddenly felt very small. Edward blustering as he did was just him putting on an act for how he wanted to be viewed, but the low, controlled voice he used now was truly a cause for fear.  

“I looked for you, you know.”Edward continued, his nose scrunched and his lips moving quickly while his fingers dug at the wood at his desk. “Must have searched the seven seas, but when an Assassin doesn’t want to be found then I guess there’s no helping it.” His eyes slowly returned up to her. Edward’s voice caught in his throat, so he cleared it. “That’s what I get, aye? Trusting the Assassins, trusting you,” he spat, “but that’s not why you’re here. No, my troubles have never been enough to get your attentsion, so I’m guessing you need something, Perhaps my ship? My crew? Know it’s not me you’re after, so what brings you to my side of the world? Must be good if you’ve come back from the dead.”

She opened her mouth, but quickly shut it.

This made Edward chuckle. He reached under his desk, pulled out a bottle, and proceeded to drink it’s contents. Edward eyed her scowl while he did this, and this only made him chug more and smirk when he was finished. “Ah, refreshing to see you still think you’re better than me.”

“That’s not what I think.”

“Can’t look at me.” 

Not knowing what to say, she just said nothing. Half of what he said held weight, and did what it intended. He hurt her. Just as she hurt him. She stood at the doorway with her arms crossed, not in anger but moreso holding herself together. Nervous energy began deep within her, making her vibrate. Edward noticed this, sighed, and got up. Picking up his coat from the back of the chair, Edward dragged his feet to her and draped it over her shoulders. His hands pressed against her shoulders, but the slight contact was gone before she could register it. Then, he peered down at her with watery eyes. His blonde hair was tied back, but a few strands hung loose and brushed against her forehead. The smell of rum drifted between them. If she got on her tiptoes, she could press her forehead to his.

That’s what they would do when things got hard. Edward would just hold her and they would rough it together. God, they thought times were hard then! Causing trouble for the British and giving the Assassins a run for their money seemed fun in comparison to what they were dealing with as of late.

Now was not the time. Tears welled in her eyes and choked her, but she swallowed her feelings, squared her shoulders back, and said in a strong voice, “I am so sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me, and I know that nothing I say or do will every be enough for the pain I caused you, nor in earning your trust again.”

“I thought you were dead.” Edward repeated, his eyes misty. “Did you know how hard that was? After Blackbeard? After Mary? I- I didn’t want to think that I lost you too.”

“That’s why I’m here.”

“I don’t follow.” Edward searched her face, but she was staring at his chest, unable to meet his eyes.

“That task you wanted completed? It’s done.”

Edward blinked once. Twice. Slowly processing what she had said before asking, “Wha- are, are you sure?”

"It wasn't an easy task to confuse.” A weak laugh escaped her, and lightly tapping his chest she pushed away from him to walk around. Securing the jacket around her, she hid the bottom of her face in it, chewed on her bottom lip while she paced. “I didn’t want to tell you before because I couldn’t stand hurting you if I was wrong. Looks like that didn’t matter either way. The Assassins didn’t know where I was because I took a break to follow a lead, which lead to another lead, which lead to another.” Edward held his breath. She unholded her arms and ran a hand through her hair. “Didn’t want to come back until I had something, Edward, and I can’t tell you how sorry I am that it took so long. The short of it is, I got into some trouble which I got out of and quickly headed over here. I-I’ve been looking for you too. Meaning to tell you all this.”

Edward exhaled, deflating completely, even staggering backwards. Before she could catch him this time, he had already regained himself and stalked off to his desk. Placing his hands on it to steady himself, Edward kept his head down and took deep gulps. “Where?” When she didn’t answer, he asked again. “Where?” His head snapped up, and his eyes bore into hers.

“England.” Edward shook his head, stood straight, and kept his eyes on the far wall. Both knew going into this relationship that either the tasks of the Assassins or the pirates would keep them apart and they hoped differently, neither thought they would be the ones pushing each other away. Not knowing what else to say, she secured his jacket around her and burrowed her nose in it. It smelled of spice.

When he faced her, he was composed. "I’d wager you’d want an early start tomorrow.” 

"That depends on you, but Edward-” But he was already pushing past her, suddenly very sober and almost manic as he walked around the room. A map was pulled out of the desk and laid atop it, and he began muttering to himself.

"If Mary’s child is in England, then that’s where we’re going.” His focus was no longer on her, and that also stung.

“Edward, I think we need to take a step back, and think. I’m not even completely sure. The last time I got my information was months ago. Hey, Edward, are you listening to me?”

“Few days, would have to dock here or here for supplies unless we...” Edward rambled on, so she came to the desk and watched him work. The weight of her travels suddened bore on her and she yawned once. Edward quickly thumbed to his bed on the other side of the room without looking up.

“You know where the bed is. Grab a few, and then I’ll. Oh!” Edward nodded to himself, “What about, oh yes, that actually works better-”

"Edward? Edward!” He jumped at his name, coming to his senses. Slowly, she said, “The last I heard, the child was in England. My information is good, but outdated. Look, I want to join you on your journey, but I need you to understand that this might take some time.”

“All I want is to fulfill my promise to Mary.” Edward declared definately. “That’s all. The child’s wellness needs to be ensured, and I need to bring...” He paused, his brows pulled together. “Did she have a son or daughter?”

“I’m not sure.” She confessed, “The documents didn’t indicate and my informants didn’t know.”

Edward nodded once to himself before looking at her and, for the first time, smiling. “Let’s find out.”

[honeylikewords]

Your opinion on twilight?

Reading this question flashed me back to, like, fifth grade, when Twilight was all the rage and I had an actual giggle remembering how intense everyone was about it. That’s not to say it’s a silly question, but more that it just reminded me of a silly time in my life; all my friends were obsessed with “Team Jacob” or “Team Edward” and wearing Cullen merch and pretending to be vampires, but I was just on the sidelines watching it all go down!

I only vaguely remember the Twilight craze (I was too young for it and it didn’t appeal to me) but I did read the books because my friends just wouldn’t shut up about it and I caved to peer pressure (and I saw the first movie sometime last year in an attempt to understand what on earth everyone was so excited over), so I say this with as informed an opinion as I can have, but…

I really hate it. A lot. Sorry!

Lemme try to explain, I guess:

On a basic level, I hate the bad writing; I hate the pacing, I hate the characters, I hate the themes. And the language choices, my god: the wording? Oof. Add to that how I hate how boring and unmotivated all the characters are, how they lack any actual drive, conviction, or development arcs, their behavior making no sense at all but being driven by “what would be most dramatic to read” reasoning. It just feels so empty and devoid of personality or humanity to me when I read it, and I’m sure there are much more eloquent discussions about the actual writing of the books elsewhere, so I’ll just leave my take on it at this.

But on a much larger level, I hate the way it portrays native and indigenous cultures and simultaneously dehumanizes and objectifies them. They’re l i t e r a l l y animals. She depicts the POC characters as fucking animals! Add to that the fact that I hate how it elevates European whiteness as the pinnacle of beauty, eerily emphasizing how “beautiful” Edward’s paleness is and how “elegant” the Cullens are for all being white Europeans from “an older time”, as if being a bunch of rich, white people makes them cultured and cool and beautiful. I hate how it romanticizes a blatantly abusive, controlling, and hellish relationship, making Bella a blank slate damsel in distress for a violently tempered and manipulative man-child to pull around and literally physically harm (and threaten to kill!). I hate the creepy choices it makes about women and their value, and the gross relationships between characters; it always feels two moves away from inc/est or ped/ophi/lia, especially with that horrifying relationship between Jacob and Bella’s baby. What the HELL was that about?

I also want to take a moment to clarify a few things about my criticism of it. I know that at the time that Twilight was a huge thing, people were really ripping into teenage girls for liking it, making fun of the girls and acting like the worst thing in the world was for pre-teen and teen girls to be interested in something, as if it was inherently stupid because girls liked it.

The issue isn’t this being media designed for female consumption and pleasure. Self-indulgent romances like this aren’t necessarily bad; there are plenty of fine romances, even supernatural ones, that while a little silly, aren’t at all bad. The vampire/supernatural romance craze of the 2000s wasn’t bad because of the teen girl enthusiasm for it; in fact, that was probably the only good benefit of it: getting young girls reading and excited for media that brought them joy!

The problem is that this saga of books uses so many gross, predatory tropes and racist perceptions. It’s coded with and caught up in its own racism and misogyny, alongside romanticizing abuse, predation, and manipulation. It also just is a poorly written series, just kind of objectively, but that could be overlooked so long as it wasn’t as creepy and problematic as it is. 

It spawned a whole genre of these weird “abuse as romance” supernatural stories, and, ya know, gave birth to the biggest icon of “abuse as romance” literature ever, the Several Hues Of Color Between Black And White series, so… I’m just kinda put off by its weird, inherent creepiness and how it indoctrinated a whole generation of women into finding that kind of creepiness, abuse, and mistreatment “romantic” and “intense” and “passionate”.

But, hey, maybe it’s just because I don’t find vampires sexy. 

[iloveduinsecret]

Headcanons for how Rosalie deals when she first sees Bella for the first time? Bonus if Bella like sooo doesn’t even really notice her bc Bella’s an oblivious little gay with her head in the clouds and sure the blonde girl is really pretty, but holy shit are those cookies at the cafeteria line??

•Bella was looking down at her tray of food. The realization that every high school in America serves trash to their students was depressing.

•She didn’t know why she was expecting anything different from Forks.

•Bored, she looked around at all the new faces. Mike was eating a chocolate chip cookie.

•He shared one with her without question.

•Across the hall, Rosalie noticed her brother was acting funny.

•Edward was staring at the new girl intensely. He was glaring at the back of her head. It looked like he was either focusing really hard or had constipation.

•To be fair, he always looked like he had constipation to Rosalie.

•Rosalie followed his gaze for a bit. The girl he was looking at was uninteresting. Ordinary. Rosalie didn’t have to see the front of her to know that she was more attractive than the girl.

•Besides them Emmett and Jasper took bets on who could take down more mountain lions that weekend.

•Alice was doodling.

•Edward kept staring.

•Bella stood up once the conversation got to be too much. She didn’t know how to talk to these people. Social situations exhausted her. She thanked Mike for the cookie again, and mumbled something about leaving early to find her next class.

•It was when she turned to leave that several things happened at once.

•A group of kids walked in from outside. The cold breeze came in and shifted Bella’s hair.

•Rosalie realized she had severely underestimated the beauty of the new girl, now that she could see her face.

•The breeze reached the table where the Cullens sat.

•The strongest wave of desire for blood that Rosalie had ever felt smacked her right in the face. Edward, reading her thoughts, immediately grabbed her by the wrists and held them under the table. He looked panicked.

•Emmett, not knowing what was happening but understanding enough, seized Rose by the shoulder.

•Bella felt like someone was watching her. She looked up to see all five Cullens staring at her with varying degrees of panic on their faces.

•Alarmed, she looked around to double check that she hadn’t walked in front of a bus or something. The rest of the students were oblivious. Only the Cullens stared.

•Throughly weirded out, Bella dumped her tray in the garbage. She sighed when she considered she’d have to walk to the farthest building away from the cafeteria for her next class. In the rain. Again.

•Rosalie used every ounce of self-control she had to stay in her seat.

•Right before she left, Bella was unable to resist looking at the Cullens again. They were unchanged.

•The blonde one was the one who stared the most. Bella didn’t think she was blinking. They locked eyes across the cafeteria.

•All at once, Rosalie controlled herself. She couldn’t look away from the girl. Edward dropped her wrists when he realized what was happening.

•Jasper felt the sheer anger and confusion that radiated off of Rose, and he scooted closer to Emmett. Emmett looked just as confused as Rosalie felt.

•Alice froze, hit with a vision.

•She stared at Rose like this

•Edward read the vision. He put his head in his hands and groaned. He seriously considered moving out.

•All at once, Rosalie broke free from Emmett’s grasp and stormed out the doors opposite Bella.

•Bella took it as her cue to go. She shrugged off the encounter as evidence of Jessica’s testimony that the Cullens were weird. Like, really weird.

•Emmett watched Rose go. He was hurt. He couldn’t decide if he should follow her or not.

•Under her breath, Alice filled Jasper and Emmett in on what she saw.

•Emmett stayed seated.

•Jasper patted his back.

•Edward listened to Rosalie’s swearing all the way until she got to her next class.

•He watched in her head as she waited outside the door for the bell to ring so she could go in.

•Bella made three wrong turns on the way to her classroom, but she found it just as the bell rang for students to leave lunch.

•She didn’t understand how the Cullen girl had beaten her there already. Or was it Hale? She tried to remember Angela’s breakdown of the strange family.

•Rosalie heard footsteps. She looked up to see that the new girl was walking towards her tentatively, eyeing the door number behind Rose’s head.

•Rosalie cursed so loud in her mind that Edward flinched.

[lokis-scepter-101]

Loki’s darling chapter 11

You.

"What about?" Loki asked concerned.

"I do remember my childhood. After my mother died when I was 11, I was put in a orphanages. It was like hell there, Everyone there was so annoying. One day I couldn't take it anymore, I went to punch one of the boys but I accidentally  opened the blackholes and put him there. That was the first time I was able to use it. The owner of the orphanage directly told a facility of 'weird' humans aka George Stone grand father about it. A knock off version of Hydra took me away. Although they treated my friend and I good. They made us do things we didn't want to. One day I decided I was sick of killing for them so I decided to put them in the black hole, Little did I know that they made themselves immune to it. My attempt to do so made things worse, They had plans to brainwash me, But escaped right on time. I went around for awhile and searched to find my roots but I never found anything. I knew Stone bio had my files so I searched for the person to help me get it. And I found him." I explained, Loki kept holding my hand his facial expression soften .

"Sorry you had to go through all of that, You didn't deserve that." Loki gently placed a kiss on my hand.

"It's okay, At least it wasn't as bad as yours eh?" Loki and I laughed.  

He told me more about his time on Asgard and man his dad was an original asshole. After our date, We made out in the car knowing that someone is probably waiting up for us. It was currently 11 pm. We walked inside the building to find Tony sleeping in a sitting position.

"Uh Tony?"I walked towards him.

"Have a good night, Jaz."Loki said before exiting the room. Tony startled awake.

"You, My office."Tony pointed to me. I gulped.

"How'd you do it?" Tony crossed his arms, piercing his eyes.  Oh thank god he's talking about the AI error.

"Your mistake-" I tried talking but he cut me off.

"The machines mistake." Tony sassed back.

"The 'fault' could only be seen in the eyes of a human. You guys run it by programs, I checked everything myself one by one." I smiled at the end being proud.

"Why'd you do it? Most importantly how'd you get in?" Tony facial expression became confused, thinking.

"I hacked it and used Peter's card. I did because one I wanted to repay you for giving me such an opportunity and two I always have a feeling that I have  to prove to people I'm a genius." I shifted my weight from leg to leg trying to act cool but ended up just standing still.

"That doesn't make any sense." Tony looked at me confused as hell.

"I know, I just made things up." I shrugged.

"For fuck sakes, I hate it when you do something I would do. Don't do anything I would do and definitely don't do anything I wouldn't." Tony said with crossed arms.

"Wh-"

"There's a little grey area inbetween." Tony said while yawning.

"You need some sleep." I said rolling my eyes.

"Anyway a thank you I will give you check so you don't have to be the broke Stark anymore, Dearest sister." Tony smiled.

"The name was starting to grow on me."I pouted.

"Go get some sleep, Nova." Tony crossed his arms.

"Will do, Edward."I stuck my tongue out at his shocked expression.

We'll do a little time skippy skip :)

Loki and Jaz have been secretly dating for 2 months now. In those two months Jazahra got closer to the Starks and the avengers. She also got to help them during their battles. She managed to master her skills. She's an official avenger now; She goes by the name Nova which Peter chose for her because one that's her second name and two seen as she controls outer space things Peter thought that Nova would be the perfect name. Her face has not been revealed tho. One time when Loki and Jazahrawere making out Bucky walked in. They asked him not to tell anyone, So he didn't because he didn't have time dealing with this shit. Loki isn't as cold as he used to be and the others have Jazahrato thank for. Also no one knows about the tesseract. Now where going to the present. Loki is on a mission. Loki and Jazahrahave a date afterwards. Jazahrais currently in charge of Peter because Tony and Pepper went on a 'business' trip.

"What are you working on?" We were on our way back from the library where they had to pick up some books for their assignment.

"Uh actually we're done with the assignment. We just need those book for the next assignment." Peter explained.

"How do you even know what the next assignment is?" I questioned.

"Rich boy over here has some connections." Mj leaned back. I nodded.

"What happened to Ned?" I asked curiously.

"Ned, betrayed little pete pet." Mj pinched Peter's cheek.

"That's not what happened. Ned was asked to tutor Liam." Peter removed Mj's hand from his cheek.

"Aw, You two are so cute." I smirked while looking at them through the rear-view mirror. Peter started blushing and Mj just coughed.

"Relax, I'm just messing with you guys." They started laughing weird.

"Hey, Where do I have to drop you off, Mj?" I started slowing down the car.

"Uh Aunt J, She's uh actually y'know coming home with me be- because we will start working on the assignment." Peter started rubbing his hand.

"Oh cool, What do you guys want for dinner? The others only bought food for themselves." They looked at each other.

"We would like pizza. What will you get for yourself, Aunt J?" Mj replied. Mj is such a polite girl.

"I'll grab a bite with Loki once I drop you kids off."

After I dropped the kids off (Tony's house.) I was currently getting ready to meet Loki. We were going out for dinner first and then have a movie night at him and Thor's apartment. I put on a green bodycon off the shoulder dress with some nude heeled sandals. I fixed my hair. and went outside where Loki was waiting.

After dinner we went to his place to have a movie night. I was currently seated between Loki's leg. His hand were wrapped around my body keeping me from escaping. Half way through the movie Loki fell asleep. I turned around and removed Loki's hand slowly. I walked to through Loki's room to go to the bathroom. While washing my hands I looked at myself in the mirror. I ran my hand through my hair. I fixed my dress; I was currently wearing a navy halter dress. When I stepped out of the room I bumped into Loki's hard chest.

"Uh, Sorry." I took a step back.

"It's okay." He just smiled.

"You fell asleep during the best part." I pouted.

"Sorry darling, I had a long day at work." Loki said sheepishly.

"Oh did you now?" I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Hmhmm."A smile crept his face Loki wrapped his arms around my waist.

I stood on my toes and gave him a peck on the lips. Loki however didn't just want a little peck, He locked our lips together. Kissing my slowly at first. The small kiss soon grew into something bigger and more intense. This was the most intensive, hot kiss we've ever share. I wrapped my hand tightly around his neck while Loki's arms were roaming my body. Loki's hand stopped at the strings of my dress. Loki broke the kiss off and looked at me seeking for an answer. I gulped and nodded. Loki wasted no time, He pulled the strings of my dress. Loki started kissing me again once my dress fell on the floor. Without any worries he pulled me on top of him, I wrapped my legs around his waist. Loki led us to his bed and laid me on my back with him on top of me not breaking the kiss.I moaned when Loki bit my bottom lips granting him access. I tugged at his shirt. He pulled away to look at me and sighed.

"We can't, I mean are you even sure about this?"Loki distanced himself away from me. I've grown tired of his shit, He keeps thinking that I will stop liking him and avoid him when in fact I fell harder and harder for him every moment we share together. I put my hands on both side of his face. "I want you Loki, All of you. Your flaws. Your mistakes. Your imperfections. Your future. I want you Loki, And only you." Loki wasted no time taking off his shirt and leaned down to kiss my neck, making me moan loudly.

###Semi smutty scene###

Loki's pov.

I came down kissing her neck tenderly. I loved the way she moaned and arched her back. I moved up to her face where I began to kiss her again. Once I was able to break the kiss, I pulled away to look at her, She wore all black lacy underwear. "You're so beautiful." I whispered in her ear before laying butterfly kisses on on jawline down to her neck stopping at her chest. I pulled her up a little and unclasped her bra, I removed her bra and threw it to the side revealing her perfectly sized breast. I took one in my hand and started massaging it. I leaned down to the other and sucked on it. "Loki..." A  moan escaped her mouth. Fuck, I love it when she says my name like that. She tangled her hand in my hair. I moved to her other breast giving it equal pleasure. I couldn't worship her breast to long so I slowly started kissing my way down her  abdomen. The anticipation drove her crazy, Her breathing became heavier and her moans became louder.I was now facing her pussy she's already wet for me.

"Already wet for me, Darling?" I looked up to see her biting her lips.

"Loki, Please." She wrapped her thighs around my head.

I licked my lips before leaning down to lick the sweet juices from her slit savoring the taste. She reacted with a much louder moan then before. Then I started licking, swirling my tongue, playing with her clit, and being encouraged by her moans of pleasure. I looked up and saw her hands full of the sheets. Once I got a steady rhythm I insert a finger.

"Oh Loki." She placed her hand on my head and shoved me deeper into her wet pussy. Her thighs became tighter around my head, her back arched and she screamed "Oh fuck, Loki." and with that her juiced starting flowing in my mouth. After I licked her clean I made my way up to her face again.

"I believe that was your first orgasm?" I moved a lock of her curly crimson hair away. She was panting and pulled me down for a rough kiss.

"Don't worry darling, Many more shall come." I whispered in her ear. She fiddled with the button of my trouser, I helped her remove my trouser.The night was full of passionate  love making.

###End of smutty scene###

Jazahra's pov.

After round three we decided to go to sleep. I laid on Loki's chest. My naked chest on his. He pulled the cover over us. I opened my eyes and looked up at Loki, Who was stroking my hair. "Hey." Loki smiled flashing his dimples. "Hey." My hands formed small circles on his chest. Loki sighed uneasy. "Is something wrong?" My elbow rested on the bed and I held my head in my hand. "I'm afraid my nightmare has come true." He threw his head back. "Which is?" I raised my eyebrow. "You."

End of chapter

Nice cliffhanger right? Anyway see you next chapter, If I make it alive.