#educate yourself and talk to diverse groups of people and take time to learn more about shit on your own time idk

[whimsyprinx]

how are there south park fans, how are there south park fans who are also minorities,, what’s wrong with y’all???

[mommyownsmee]

Hi 🥺 (idk if i can call you mommy, i don’t want to be disrespectful)

Do you have any advice for someone who is mot sure about their sexuality?

i have been always attracted to men mostly, but for few years now i have this feeling that i might be attracted to women too… i’m 23 and well when my friends and colleagues were experimenting with theirs sexualities i was nit a part of this ( strict and overprotective parents) and now that i have a freedom to experiment, theres no one to do it with. And i dint want to lead anyone when im nit sure of my sexuality.

Any advice maybe? you have this aura around yourself that ,made me feel safe enough to ask this, i hope i didn’t push or step over any boundaries.

🥺🙈

Hey sweety! 𝒙𝒙

Of course, you can call me mommy if that feels comfortable for you! I'm honored that you feel safe enough to reach out with such a personal question. Exploring your sexuality can be both exciting and a little daunting, especially if you haven't had the chance to do so until now.

First, it's important to remember that sexuality is a spectrum and can be fluid. It's perfectly normal to be attracted to different genders at different times in your life.

I wrote down some tips for you that helped me too:

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Self-Reflection

Journaling: Write down your thoughts and feelings regularly. Reflect on moments when you felt attraction towards someone, regardless of their gender. This can help you identify patterns and understand your emotions better.

Mindfulness and Meditation: These practices can help you become more in tune with your inner self and feelings. Sometimes, our busy lives make it hard to notice subtle changes in our attractions and desires.

Past Experiences: Reflect on your past crushes, relationships, and attractions. Were there any moments when you felt drawn to someone of the same gender? Understanding your past can provide insights into your current feelings.

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Educate Yourself

Books and Articles: There are many excellent resources on sexuality and sexual orientation. Consider reading works by authors like Lisa Diamond ("Sexual Fluidity") or Emily Nagoski ("Come As You Are").

Documentaries and Videos: Visual media can be very powerful. Look for documentaries on LGBTQ+ experiences or TED Talks that discuss sexuality. These can provide diverse perspectives and relatable stories.

Websites and Forums: Websites like Scarleteen and forums like Reddit’s r/bisexual or r/lgbt are full of people sharing their own journeys and advice.

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Join Supportive Communities

Online Communities: Websites and social media groups can offer a sense of belonging and support. Platforms like Reddit, Tumblr, and Facebook have groups dedicated to exploring and discussing sexuality. I also have a Telegram group that you can join at any time.

Local LGBTQ+ Group: Check for local community centers or groups. Attending meetings or events can provide face-to-face support and friendships with people who understand what you’re going through.

Support Groups: Some areas offer support groups specifically for people questioning their sexuality. These can be safe spaces to express your feelings and learn from others.

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Take It Slow

No Pressure: Give yourself permission to explore your sexuality at your own pace. There’s no rush to label yourself or come to a definitive conclusion.

Exploration: If you feel comfortable, try going on dates or meeting people from different genders. This doesn’t mean you have to jump into a relationship right away; casual and friendly interactions can be very telling.

Experimentation: Experiment with your sexuality in ways that feel safe and comfortable for you. This could be through fantasizing, watching different kinds of media, or even engaging in conversations with friends.

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Communicate Openly

Honesty: When you start dating, be upfront about your journey with potential partners. Most people appreciate honesty and will understand that you’re still figuring things out.

Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with anyone you’re exploring with. Make sure they understand your situation and respect your pace and comfort level.

Feedback: Ask for feedback from those you trust. Sometimes, friends and close ones can provide perspectives that you might not have considered.

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Seek Professional Guidance

Therapists and Counselors: Look for professionals who specialize in LGBTQ+ issues. They can provide a safe space to explore your feelings without judgment.

Sex Educators: Professionals in this field can offer practical advice and information about sexuality, helping you understand your feelings better.

Support Networks: Some areas have networks of professionals who provide counseling and support specifically for those exploring their sexuality.

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Personal Tips

Self-Acceptance: Embrace the journey and be kind to yourself. It’s okay to feel uncertain and to take your time in understanding your sexuality.

Stay Informed: Keep learning and stay curious. The more information and perspectives you gather, the more comfortable you might feel with your own sexuality.

Community Resources: Utilize local community resources such as LGBTQ+ centers, hotlines, and support groups. They often offer free or low-cost services for those exploring their sexuality.

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Remember, there's no "right" way to discover your sexuality. It's a personal journey, and it's okay to take your time. You deserve to feel happy and fulfilled, and understanding your sexuality is a part of that.

I'm always here to talk if you need more support or just someone to listen. You didn't push any boundaries, and I'm glad you reached out. Take care of yourself, and trust your feelings—they are valid.

[angelincris]

The Reality of a Career in Digital Marketing: Navigating the Digital World

In today’s digital age, “digital marketing” is more than just a trendy phrase; it’s a thriving field that shapes how businesses connect with their audiences. But what does a career in digital marketing really involve, and what can you expect once you step into this dynamic field? Let’s uncover the realities of pursuing a career in digital marketing.

Digital marketing is always changing. From search engines to social media, everything evolves rapidly. This means you’ll need to keep learning to stay up-to-date with the latest trends and techniques. Being in the know is essential.

2. Multifaceted Skill Set:

Digital marketing isn’t just one thing; it’s a bunch of different jobs rolled into one. You might work on things like making websites show up in Google searches, creating content, running ads on Facebook, or sending emails. To do well, you’ll need to become skilled in at least a few of these areas.

3. Data-Driven Decision-Making:

Numbers are a big part of digital marketing. You’ll use data to figure out what’s working and what isn’t. This helps you make smart choices about how to market things online.

4. Creativity and Content:

5. Diverse Career Opportunities:

Digital marketing has a lot of different jobs you can do. You could work on making websites better at showing up in Google searches, creating posts for social media, writing emails to send to customers, or even running ads online. You get to pick what you like best.

6. Client-Centric Work:

If you work at a company or by yourself, you’ll often talk to people who want you to help them with their marketing. This means listening to what they want, telling them how you’ll help, and keeping them happy. Building good relationships with clients is important.

7. Remote Work Possibilities:

Some digital marketing jobs let you work from anywhere, like your house or a coffee shop. This can be nice because it gives you more flexibility with your schedule.

8. Competitive Nature:

Digital marketing is really competitive. Lots of companies want people’s attention online, so it’s a tough place to stand out. You’ll need to work hard and be creative to do well.

9. Networking and Collaboration:

Meeting and talking to other digital marketers is important. You can learn from them, and they might help you get a job someday. Joining groups and going to events is a good way to meet people.

10. Impact on Business Growth:

Digital marketing isn’t just about getting likes on Facebook; it’s about making businesses successful. Your job is to help companies sell more things, get more customers, or become more famous online.

11. Ups and Downs:

Like any job, digital marketing has its good days and bad days. Sometimes you’ll feel great because things are going well, and other times you’ll have challenges to overcome. Being able to learn from mistakes is important.

12. Secure Jobs:

13. Certifications and Education:

Digital marketing is always changing, so you should keep learning new things. Taking courses and getting certifications can help you learn more and show that you’re good at your job.

14. Being Ethical:

Digital marketing isn’t just about getting attention; it’s also about doing things the right way. You’ll need to follow rules and think about what’s fair and honest in your marketing.

15. Career Advancement:

After you’ve been in digital marketing for a while, you might be able to get a better job with more pay and more responsibility. This means you can climb the career ladder.

A job in digital marketing is exciting and always changing. You’ll need to be good at learning new things, solving problems, and using both numbers and creativity. While it can be tough, the chance to make a big impact online and have job security makes digital marketing a cool career choice.

Whether you’re just starting or looking to advance your career, the ACTE TECHNOLOGIES industry welcomes individuals who are passionate about Learning Digital Marketing, creative problem-solving, and making a significant online impact. It’s a world where the digital canvas is vast, and your marketing skills can paint a picture of success for businesses and brands. All the Best :)

[studyabroadcanada]

Adjusting to Life in Canada: International Students' Guide

Moving to Canada as an international student is an exciting journey filled with opportunities for personal and academic growth. However, it also comes with its own set of challenges as you adapt to a new culture, educational system, and lifestyle. This guide is here to support you through this transition, offering practical advice and helpful tips to ensure that you thrive during your time in Canada. Whether you’re concerned about cultural differences, academic expectations, or daily life adjustments, we’ve got you covered.

1. Understanding Canadian Culture

Cultural Norms and Values

One of the first things you’ll notice in Canada is its cultural diversity. Canadians are known for their politeness, respect for others, and open-mindedness. You’ll often hear phrases like "sorry" and "please" in everyday conversations, reflecting the importance of courtesy in Canadian society. It’s essential to be mindful of these norms as they help foster a positive and respectful environment.

In social settings, Canadians value personal space and tend to be reserved at first. However, this doesn’t mean they aren’t friendly. Engaging in small talk and showing genuine interest in others will help you build relationships. Also, respect for diversity is a core value in Canada. Embrace the multicultural environment by participating in cultural events and learning about the various traditions and customs.

Cultural Adaptation

Adapting to a new culture can be challenging, but it’s also a rewarding experience. Start by exploring local customs and practices. For instance, tipping is customary in restaurants and for services like taxis and haircuts. Understanding and adapting to these small aspects of daily life will help you feel more integrated.

One way to ease into Canadian culture is by attending community events and festivals. These are great opportunities to meet new people and learn more about Canadian traditions. Additionally, try to remain open-minded and flexible as you encounter new ways of life and different perspectives.

2. Navigating the Canadian Education System

Academic Expectations

The Canadian education system may differ from what you’re used to, and understanding these differences can help you succeed academically. Canadian universities and colleges emphasize critical thinking and active participation. You’ll often be expected to contribute to class discussions and engage in group projects.

Grading systems can also vary. For example, instead of a traditional letter grade, some institutions use a GPA (Grade Point Average) system. It’s important to familiarize yourself with your institution’s grading policies and academic expectations. Don’t hesitate to ask professors or academic advisors for clarification if needed.

Campus Resources

Take advantage of the resources available on campus. Most institutions offer academic advising services to help you plan your coursework and manage your academic responsibilities. Libraries are also valuable resources for research and study materials. Joining study groups or attending tutoring sessions can provide additional support.

Your campus likely has various student support centers, including mental health services, career counseling, and international student offices. These resources are designed to help you succeed and make your transition to Canadian education smoother.

3. Settling into Daily Life

Finding Accommodation

Securing suitable accommodation is one of the first steps in settling into your new life in Canada. You have several options, including on-campus housing, private rentals, or shared apartments. On-campus housing provides the convenience of being close to classes and campus activities, but it may be more expensive compared to off-campus options.

When looking for off-campus housing, consider factors like proximity to public transportation, safety, and cost. Websites and local listings can help you find available properties. If you choose to live with roommates, ensure you discuss expectations and responsibilities beforehand to avoid potential conflicts.

Transportation

Navigating a new city can be overwhelming, but understanding the local transportation system will make it easier. In many Canadian cities, public transportation includes buses, trains, and subways. Familiarize yourself with the routes and schedules to get around efficiently.

Cycling is also a popular mode of transportation in many areas. Many cities have bike lanes and rental services, which can be a convenient and eco-friendly way to explore your surroundings. If you plan to drive, make sure you’re aware of local driving regulations and obtain a Canadian driver’s license if necessary.

Grocery Shopping and Cooking

Grocery shopping in Canada may differ from what you’re used to. Major grocery stores often have a wide range of products, including international foods. Familiarize yourself with local grocery stores and their layouts. Many stores also offer student discounts or loyalty programs, which can help you save money.

Cooking at home is a great way to save money and maintain a healthy diet. You can find recipes online or in cookbooks that cater to various dietary needs. Learning to cook simple and nutritious meals will help you feel more at home and save on dining expenses.

4. Building a Social Network

Making Friends and Socializing

Building a social network is crucial for a fulfilling experience in Canada. Start by participating in campus activities and joining clubs or organizations related to your interests. These activities provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals and make new friends.

Don’t be afraid to introduce yourself and strike up conversations with fellow students. Socializing can also be facilitated through local events, volunteer opportunities, and community gatherings. By putting yourself out there, you’ll find it easier to build connections and create a support network.

Dealing with Homesickness

Feeling homesick is a common experience for many international students. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings and take proactive steps to manage them. Staying in touch with family and friends through video calls and social media can help bridge the distance.

Engage in activities that you enjoy and that remind you of home. Whether it’s cooking a favorite dish or participating in cultural events, these activities can provide comfort and help ease homesickness. Additionally, seeking support from campus counseling services can be beneficial in managing these emotions.

5. Managing Finances

Budgeting and Saving

Creating a budget is essential for managing your finances effectively. Start by tracking your income and expenses to get a clear picture of your financial situation. Allocate funds for essentials like rent, utilities, groceries, and transportation.

Look for ways to save money, such as using student discounts, buying in bulk, and avoiding unnecessary expenses. Additionally, consider finding a part-time job if your student visa allows it. Many students find part-time work that fits around their study schedule, providing extra income and valuable work experience.

Banking and Currency

Opening a Canadian bank account is a practical step in managing your finances. This will make it easier to handle transactions and access funds. Most banks offer student accounts with benefits like no monthly fees and easy online banking.

Understanding Canadian currency and its denominations will also be helpful. Familiarize yourself with the different banknotes and coins. This knowledge will make shopping and managing cash transactions more straightforward.

6. Health and Wellness

Healthcare System

Canada’s healthcare system is known for its accessibility and quality. As an international student, you’ll likely be covered by a student health plan provided by your institution. This plan typically includes basic medical services, such as doctor visits, hospital care, and prescription medications.

Make sure you understand what your health insurance covers and how to access healthcare services. It’s also a good idea to register with a local healthcare provider and familiarize yourself with nearby medical facilities in case of emergencies.

Mental Health Support

Maintaining mental health is crucial for a successful and enjoyable experience abroad. Many institutions offer counseling services to support students facing mental health challenges. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help if you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed.

Engaging in activities that promote well-being, such as exercise, relaxation techniques, and social interactions, can also contribute to a positive mental state. Prioritizing your mental health will enhance your overall experience and academic performance.

7. Legal and Administrative Matters

Visa and Immigration

Staying informed about your visa and immigration status is essential. Ensure that you comply with all visa requirements and maintain your legal status throughout your studies. Keep track of important dates, such as visa renewals and document submissions.

Your institution’s international student office can provide guidance on visa matters and offer assistance with any related issues. Staying proactive and organized will help you avoid potential complications.

Work Regulations

If you plan to work while studying, be aware of the work regulations for international students. Most student visas allow for part-time work during the academic year and full-time work during breaks. Check the specific rules for your visa category and ensure you’re following them.

Balancing work and study commitments can be challenging, so prioritize time management and ensure that your job does not interfere with your academic responsibilities.

8. Exploring Canada

Local Attractions and Activities

Canada is renowned for its natural beauty and diverse attractions. Take the time to explore the local area and discover what each city or region has to offer. From vibrant cultural festivals to breathtaking outdoor landscapes, there’s something for everyone.

Visit local landmarks, museums, and parks to gain a deeper understanding of Canadian culture and history. Engaging in recreational activities, such as hiking, skiing, or attending local events, can enhance your overall experience and help you feel more connected to your new home.

Travel Tips

Traveling within Canada is an excellent way to experience different parts of the country. Plan trips to nearby cities or natural wonders to make the most of your time here. Research transportation options, such as trains, buses, and flights, to find the most convenient and cost-effective ways to travel.

Be mindful of seasonal weather conditions and plan your trips accordingly. Whether you’re exploring bustling cities or serene landscapes, traveling will enrich your experience and provide lasting memories.

Conclusion

Adjusting to life in Canada as an international student is a journey filled with both challenges and opportunities. By understanding Canadian culture, navigating the education system, and managing daily life effectively, you can create a rewarding and enjoyable experience. Embrace the cultural diversity, take advantage of campus resources, and build a supportive social network.

Remember, you’re not alone in this transition. If you need additional support or have questions, don’t hesitate to seek help from campus resources or connect with fellow students. Your time in Canada is a unique opportunity for growth and discovery, so make the most of it and enjoy every moment.

FAQs

What are some tips for adjusting to Canadian culture? Embrace local customs, participate in community events, and be open to learning about new traditions.

How can I understand the Canadian education system better? Familiarize yourself with grading policies, participate actively in classes, and seek guidance from academic advisors.

What should I consider when looking for accommodation? Look for proximity to campus, safety, cost, and whether you prefer on-campus or off-campus housing.

How can I manage my finances effectively? Create a budget, track expenses, and look for student discounts. Consider part-time work if allowed.

What does the Canadian healthcare system cover for international students? it typically includes basic medical services such as doctor visits and hospital care. Check your student health plan for details.

How can I make friends and build a social network in Canada? Join campus clubs, attend events, and engage in social activities to meet new people.

What are some strategies for dealing with homesickness? Stay connected with loved ones, engage in familiar activities, and seek support from campus counseling services.

What are the work regulations for international students in Canada? Most visas allow part-time work during the academic year and full-time work during breaks. Check your visa conditions for specifics.

How can I explore Canada while studying? Plan trips to local attractions and use various transportation options to explore different regions.

Where can I find support if I’m struggling with adjusting to life in Canada? Reach out to campus resources, including international student offices and counseling services, for assistance and support.

This guide aims to equip you with the information you need to make a successful transition to life in Canada. By embracing the experience, seeking support when needed, and staying proactive, you can make the most of your time abroad and enjoy a fulfilling academic and personal journey.

[fmenvs3000w24]

Blog 2 - My ideal role as an environmental interpreter

When I think about what would be my ideal role as an environmental interpreter, I think of a position in which I am able to engage visitors in interpretive walks, teach plant and animal identification, and perhaps even construct my own workshops for teaching children about nature. I found love for this type of work after attending several interpretive walks and workshops while in university.

It has always been my goal to work in the Toronto area, not only because it is where I was born and raised, but because I do believe that despite the limited biodiversity in Toronto compared to other cities outside the GTA, there is still a lot the city has to offer in this field. It is important to run such programs within the city borders as the residents may be more unfamiliar with nature walks, identification, and nature interpretation than others living outside the GTA due to limited exposure. My people living in Toronto cannot leave the city to visit nature centres and arboretums due to a variety of reasons including financial issues, accessibility issues, lack of transportation outside of the city, lack of connections, etc. and I believe it's very important for all people to spend time in nature, think, reflect, and learn about their natural surroundings. One of the experiences which really sparked my interest in nature was a series of field trips I took with my classes in second and third grade to nature centres and outdoor education centres in Toronto. I was able to experience nature in a whole new way and think deeper about my interactions with the natural world. I learned to identify certain plants such as dogwood and milkweed, which is something which has stuck with me to this day. It would be a privilege to be able to take school children on walks and possibly inspire them or have an impact on the way in which they see and perceive nature. 

As an environmental interpreter, it is important to cater to the various needs of audience members and to equip yourself with a few teaching strategies which are able to captivate and resonate with a diverse group of learners (Hookyaas, 2024). Body language as well as verbal and written feedback from audience members is a great way for someone to take constructive criticism and adjust their program to be more inclusive of different types of learners. Learners can be placed in three broad domains by their different learning styles including the cognitive domain (learning through facts, mathematics, charts, etc.), the affective domain (learning through emotion, interpretation, expression of one's feelings, etc.), and the kinesthetic domain (learning through participation, physical movement, motor skills, etc.) (Beck et al., 2018). By incorporating multiple disciples within a program such as music and painting for the affective domain, charts and talks for the cognitive domain, and hikes and gardening for the kinesthetic domain, you can optimise the number of different types of learners who are able to understand and resonate with your work (Beck et al., 2018).

Beck, L., Cable, T. T., & Knudson, D. M. (2018). Interpreting cultural and natural heritage: For A Better World. SAGAMORE Publishing.

Hooykaas, A. (2024). Unit 2: Teaching Learners. ENVS*3000. University of Guelph.

[doyouknowyoudothatoutloud]

I just saw a post about dogwhisteling and a term about noticing patterns being used by nazis. I can sort of see it.

I don't know if it's that big a deal though.

I think policing language is worse than having some people use it harmfully.

I think try to be a good person with the bigger stuff and probably let dogwhistelling go.

I do not mean to say it does not create harm. But rather than policing the use of the words what if we use those words to educate how facts really work. That when looking at statistics there are hardly ever any patterns.

People of different religious groups can, and often do, have more in common in their daily life than people of the same one. If you make about the same amount of money your lives tend to look very similar.

I think it is a more effective use of your time to build up good things in the world than to spend it tearing down the bad ones. Sometimes you have to tear down some bad, but without having built up good to replace it with it is not nearly as effective.

So is it bad that words and phrases are being used as dogwhistelling? Yes.

But is the best way to build a good world to fight them? Probably not.

I think you can ask yourself who you are laughing at when you make a joke. That in itself is a good foundation.

Rarely you might reblog a joke you think is harmless but it is pointed out to you it has been used as a dogwhistelling phrase. Explain what you thought was funny about it and how you saw it differently.

The post was talking about how bad it is to have dogwhistelling be hidden in the middle of a bunch of other phrases and just become ordinary and sometimes that is true. But if people don't stop using the term it can also become meaningless as a dogwhistelling tactic. If the phrase is mostly used for a different purpose it no longer does the thing it was made to do or at least it does it less effectively.

I am not saying this is what you should do. I am however saying that it is not all gloom and doom. I think diversity in how it is used is far from a bad thing. When it comes to dogwhistelling phrases.

Noticing patterns is how our brain works. But the world is far too complex for something as simple as patterns accurately explaining how it works. Our brains think the world works in patterns, but our brains are wrong.

We go in with certain assumptions into topics. How you learn is to try to dissprove the assumptions you go into it with. If you believe the world is just a repeated pattern, you are wrong.

That is how litterature works because it is our imagination put on paper. But reality is made by different people's imagination, by animals, by stuff from the universe etc. Reality is far too complex to be accurately described by one thing being in control of everything or even most things. Actually think of it. What a boring and predictable world that would actually look like. There are so many things around you in your every day life that disproves that.

Take note of them, think what do I belive about them and look into it by trying to dissprove what you belive about them. Use creadible sources. Know who these sources are payed by. What are they likely to promote or avoid talking about because of who they are payed by?

The world is complex and therefor the methods and answers are probably that too. At least more complex than our brains assume they are.

[jaylr-blog]

🗣 Blog Post #2: Social Media & Participatory Culture

Throughout this paper, I’m going to talk about social media and how it is correlated with participatory culture. Before we even start, what is participatory culture? Participatory culture is defined by new learning online as “a culture where there are low barriers to artistic expression and civic occasions.”. Not only that Henry Jenkins defines participatory culture as a culture where we make media as well as consume it”. He continues to explain participatory culture as a strong support for sharing contact with others, informal, mentorship, members, believing their contributions matter, and care about others, opinions of self, and work.”. What does this mean? This means that participatory culture is a culture that allows people via social media to be them, true selves and create artistic expression through the form of whatever social media platform you choose to use. For example, say you’re on Instagram. Participatory culture would look like people that are participating in contributing value, diverse opinions, and comments on each other's posts, while embracing everyone’s perspective in everyone's fashion. The reason why I say this is an example is because being able to embrace everyone’s perspective and ways of contribution allows us to continue to grow as human beings and the ways of participatory culture.

Let’s talk about how Content is being made by people throughout the world, and why it’s important to create content that is not only artistic and passionate, and that expresses yourself as a person. “Creating content not only involves creativity, but also time, motion, and various forms of capital (social, cultural, and sometimes economic)” (Hinton & Hjorth, 2013). The reason for why I’m bringing this part of the text up is so that we can continue to understand that not everything in social media is a simple, personal blog or a selfie. A lot of things and the majority of the things in social media are planned out, strategized, researched, artistically expressed. Many of the things that we see in social media are things that are either educators or things that are therefore in entertainment mainly.

We are going to talk about different ways on how to practice participatory culture within your life. One way to practice it between cultures in your life is by building a community telling stories and producing media. And being able to do this, will allow you to be distinctive and create something that is very valuable in your life. Another way that you can practice participatory culture is by being informed. What being informed in the participatory culture looks like it is by spreading the word, and then learning about the issues that are taking place. You could also practice participatory culture by connecting with others, and branching out beyond your group by networking yourself. This is very important because being able to network yourself throughout your life, and throughout social media will allow you to explore and be more innovative than what you initially thought. Overall, practicing participatory culture will allow you to become more of the experts in the world and you to become truly adaptive and innovative to what the world has entailed.

To finish up, let’s talk about the main benefits that come with participatory culture. Aside from the abilities to express oneself, what does participatory culture bring to the table in human lives? Its participatory culture is truly everywhere in our human life whether it’s in its Snapchat series where you’re looking at I’m boxing videos or other people sharing contacts or even you attending an event to improve on site appearances. Participatory culture brings benefits of community and other benefits of perspective and gaining knowledge. Overall participatory culture is something that continues to grow within social media, and something that continues to impact us on a daily basis. 

[crazycatsiren]

Advice to witches and Pagans who wish to be allies

Here are some personal words of advice to those in the witch/Pagan communities who wish to be allies to witches and Pagans of colors/marginalized groups, sincerely from a Pagan witch who is a member of an ethnic minority.

Do Not:

Post/repost those lists of what are/are not cultural appropriation. Many of them are inaccurate and incorrect. Some of them are downright stereotypical and racist.

Use us as an excuse to attack people. Some people genuinely don't know better and mean no harm. Innocent mistakes happen. Publicly humiliating people and/or ruining their businesses doesn't help us at all. We've seen enough bullying in this world already without you adding more to it in our names. If you wish to educate someone on what you know/have learned from us, please at least do so in a tactful manner for a start.

Assume cultural appropriation at face value. Looks can be deceiving. The person who has a dreamcatcher hanging above their bed might have received it as a gift from a friend who's Native American. The person with a fresh henna tattoo might have just attended an Indian friend's wedding. The person who appears to have a light complexion might in fact, be a part of a closed culture and/or belong to a closed practice.

Take what you read on the internet as gospels. A handful of people whose online posts have gone viral might not actually represent the voice of the group from which they claim heritage. And guess what? People online can and do lie.

Support mass marketing that exploits native cultures for profits.

Go around preaching about a culture that you're not a part of. This includes what is/is not cultural appropriation from that culture.

Repeat what you've heard/think you know about a culture without having actually taken any time to talk with the people from that culture in real life or done any research to educate yourself about that culture.

Talk over us and speak for us. And this includes making the rounds on social media telling people what our cultures are/are not, what we allow/do not allow, what can/cannot be done with/from our cultures.

Do:

Listen to the native people of a culture. Take the time to get to know them. Spend time with them, if you can. And I don't mean on the internet. As much as possible, try to actually go places, explore different cultures, and learn by experiences.

Be a part of a culture's celebrations/special occasions if you're invited by the people of that culture.

Support local/small businesses run by ethnic minorities.

Appreciate different cultures. Enjoy and promote different cultures' arts, music, cuisine, and traditions in respectful manners. Celebrate diversities. Embrace differences.

Ask questions. If you're not sure about something, it's perfectly fine to just ask. Most of us are cool with sharing our thoughts on matters related to our cultures.

Understand that cultures are not monoliths. Even within a culture, there are going to be differences of opinions, across generations and geographical regions.

Actually be an ally instead of a mouthpiece. What we really want is for our voices to be heard and not drowned out. We would like to be able to speak our minds, without anyone talking over us, without anyone making it more about them than about us.

[sunnydwrites]

Research for Writers: How to Do It

So, you want to write a story involving something that you know literally nothing about. (Cool, same!) We’ve all been there before; if you’ve landed at this post, you’ve come to the right place. In this post, we’re going to cover the basics of research and using information, as well as verifying your sources, and other ways to reach out.

But first: why should I do research in the first place?

There’s a whole boatload of reasons you should conduct research in your writing. Here are some of the largest or most popular reasons:

You’re writing a story set in a different time period, and you want to be historically accurate.

One of your characters does or knows something you don’t know as much about.

You’re writing about a character who is a part of a community that you’re not in, and you want to be respectful.

You’re doing world-building and want to learn about different biomes and climates.

Bear in mind, these are just a few of the reasons that you might choose to do research - any reason to learn more about something is a valid one! Let’s break down how to do quality research for your writing.

Where can I find reliable information?

Always, always verify your sources. This is a go-to rule especially for doing historical or environmentally-based research. Let’s say, for example, you want to learn about tropical forests. Believe it or not, one of my first stops on the way is going to be Wikipedia.

But anyone can change the information of Wikipedia!

That’s true, but it’s also true that Wikipedia has a pretty high standard when it comes to the information on the website. In fact, you could scroll down to the bottom of any page and get a list of all the sources referenced in the writing of the article; the Wikipedia page acts as an overview, while the references go more in-depth. For example, if I scroll down to the bottom of my “tropical forest” page, I suddenly have several verified sources to reference in my research.

And I can go from there!

But if that’s not enough from you, let’s talk about how to verify each individual source of information. (Note: this is for mostly historical and environmental information, but we’ll get to community research momentarily!)

Is it peer-reviewed?

When was it written, or when was the last time it was updated?

Who is the publisher?

Does the author have any credentials listed?

The more of these questions that you can answer, the more reliable your source is going to be.

How is it different for learning about different communities?

A note, and an important one at that: people are people. They are not subjects to be prodded and studied. 

When you set out to learn about different communities, your first goal should always be to be as respectful as you can. If someone calls you out for disrespectful behavior, the fact that you’re doing research is far from an excuse. Listen to the people you’re learning from.

Additionally, before you do any interviews, try to set a few parameters for yourself.

Can the questions you’re asking be answered by a Google search?

Has the community you’re asking already answered your question or questions?

Inform yourself as much as you can on your own before turning to others to answer your questions. Other people don’t exist to educate you. I, for example, would be happy to answer questions about PTSD affects my life. I would find it annoying if someone were to come to me and ask what PTSD is, because that’s question has been answered a thousand times over and the answers are accessible.

Facts can be searched and found in articles; opinions and experiences usually can’t unless you’re searching on a blog or in an interview. Ask people how the community they’re a part of might affect some of their life experiences, and ask for their opinions.

For example, I’m writing an autistic character in a new cyberpunk project, but I myself am not autistic. I reached out to the r/AutisticPride subreddit (with approval from the mods) and asked a few questions, including:

What would you want to see in an autistic character?

Is there anything you really don’t want to see in an autistic character?

Is there anything that you believe is especially important in the writing of an autistic character?

And there were lots more questions, but those were some of the most bare-bones questions that I asked. I did my best to keep each question as open as I could to allow for expansion on the part of those who answered, and everyone was super helpful!

If you’re looking for places to reach out for research regarding experiences of people in a certain community, I’d highly recommend Reddit. They have groups and communities for almost anything you could imagine over there! Or you could also check out different blogs and tags on Tumblr, as the user base here is also incredibly diverse. Reach out as much as you can!

I have information and completed research. What now?

Firstly: organize, organize, organize. Take notes on everything and save the links to every resource that you used, in case you need to reference it later. Organize your sources and remind yourself what each resource helped you with, and save them all.

Once you have everything organized, it’s time to sort through what’s really relevant and what isn’t. If you’re creating a tropical rainforest for a new fantasy world, for example, you may not need the name of every small town in a tropical forest in Brazil. If a bit of information is influential to something you’re including in your own work, keep it. If it’s not, feel free to throw it in something of a discard pile (although I am somewhat in the mindset of “keep your discard pile on hand, just in case”).

And now you (hopefully) have a lot of information that you can use! You also (hopefully) know more about that target topic than you did before, and you (hopefully) found some methods for research you’ll be able to apply in the future. Best of luck, and happy writing!

Did this post help you out? Consider donating to my Ko-Fi!

Join my writing community on Discord!

[blackrosesociety-vampyres]

WHAT WE ARE ABOUT – An Introductory Overview

You may have found us and equally found yourself at a loss to understand what exactly Black Rose Society is, what we are about, and where you might stand within all this. The purpose of the following texts is to give you a brief introductory overview of the central topics and avenues of exploration Black Rose Society focuses on. This way, we aim to provide you with a good idea of what you can expect to find in our community.

WHAT WE ARE

Black Rose Society is – first and foremost – a community of Vampyres, dedicated to Vampyre Identity and Vampyre Culture.

Black Rose Society is a place for serious exploration. We do not claim to possess all the answers, and we certainly do not speak for all vampire-identified people everywhere. Rather, we do our best to provide our membership with a conducive atmosphere to explore an extensive range of topics from within the perspective of Vampyre Identity and Vampyre Culture. We discuss how various groups of vampire-identified people arrive at expressing their varied experiences through self-identification with the vampire as a distinct category of person or archetype. We discuss how various groups of vampire-identified people have originated and shaped an authentic alternative subculture in the form of modern Vampyre Culture. We discuss the relationship between Vampyre Identity and Vampyre Culture – how one inspires the other, and how we in turn may be inspired as Vampyres.

Black Rose Society is also a social place of meeting. We provide our membership with a safe haven to gather, to mingle, to exchange news and information, to enjoy hospitality, to befriend, to learn on a basis of personal knowing. In this, Black Rose Society is explicitly open to all interested parties who might be sympathetic to us, both Vampyres and Black Swans, whether they seek closer affiliation with our sponsor in House Sauromatos or not, and indeed, whether they are familiar with the customs of Vampyre Society or still seek to learn more.

Lastly, we are about the celebration of being different, and we welcome all to have a good time in our spaces, as long as it is within the boundaries of our rules, guidelines and policies.

WHAT WE ARE NOT

Black Rose Society is decidedly not…

A roleplaying community Black Rose Society is a community of ‘Real Living Vampires’. This is not a game for us. While role players are indeed welcome to join Black Rose Society, we generally do not allow actual roleplaying in our regular community spaces. A dating community Approaching our community or any of our members with the sole intention of seeking a sexual or romantic relationship of any kind is firmly discouraged. Making another member feel unsafe or uncomfortable due to unwanted sexual advances or unwanted sexual comments may be considered harassment, and we will remove any offender from our community as soon as we become aware of any inappropriate behaviour. A provider of professional medical or legal advice Any information offered through Black Rose Society is considered to be for informational or educational purposes only, and is not intended as a substitute for, nor does it replace, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Similarly, any information offered through Black Rose Society should not be in any way construed as professional legal advice on any subject matter. Should you decide to act or refrain from acting on the basis of any information offered through Black Rose Society, you do so at your own risk.

WHETHER WE ARE THE RIGHT COMMUNITY FOR YOU

Our community may not be the right fit for you, or it may indeed be the place you gladly call a haven.

You may have found the right place if you are at least one of the following:

– A Vampyre, someone who self-identifies as a Vampyre, or as Vampyric, or in any way identifies with the vampire as a category of person or archetype. – A Black Swan, someone who is a trusted friend to Vampyres and fully participates in the community, but does not or is not ready to identify as a Vampyre or Vampyric. – A Seeker, someone seriously questioning whether they are Vampyric, or whether they want to participate in Vampyre Culture in general. – Someone involved in consensual human blood-drinking between risk-aware adults, either as an active participant, blood drinker or blood donor, or as a close friend or family member of one, wishing to be supportive of them. – Someone engaging in advanced energy work, or Energy Vampirism, within the boundaries of Vampyre Identity and Vampyre Culture. – Someone pursuing Vampirism from the perspective of the Occult, open and sympathetic to Vampyre Identity and Vampyre Culture. – Someone with a genuine and enduring interest in all things ‘Vampire’, open and sympathetic to Vampyre Identity and Vampyre Culture.

We especially want to welcome you if you are at least one of the above and also:

– Someone passionate about furthering Vampyre Identity and Vampyre Culture, and ready to make meaningful contributions. – Someone intrigued by the aesthetic and mystique of Vampyre Culture, who wishes to actively explore its lifestyle aspects. – Someone with good questions.

You may want to look elsewhere if you are one of the following:

– A journalist or media worker seeking interviews. – Lacking the necessary maturity to deal with our topics. – Solely interested in hooking up. – Just curious for no particular reason. – Seeking to become a vampire in the hopes of gaining supernatural powers, lasting youth, increased lifespan, or things similarly fantastic. – Unwilling or unable to respect Vampyre Identity and Vampyre Culture, for whatever reason. – Unwilling or unable to comply with Black Rose Society’s rules, guidelines and policies, for whatever reason. – Scared of reading.

If you are unsure, you are most welcome to talk to our members on our Discord Community Server and have your questions answered in our #support channel or have a friendly chat in our #lobby, both of which are open to non-members.

BLACK ROSE SOCIETY ON VAMPYRE IDENTITY – There are no vampires in the Vampire Community

We begin with the Vampire Mythos. Vampyre Identity and Vampyre Culture are inevitably tied to the Vampire Mythos. We, Vampyres, are a people of the Vampire Mythos, in that our self-identification and our cultural self-expression as Vampyres will in some capacity reference the figure of the vampire from popular culture.

A vampire in the most common understanding of the word appears as a creature which drains the life (often in the form of blood) of humans to sate their own needs, enrich or prolong their own existence.

Vampyres do not believe that they are literal vampires as they appear in popular fiction or folklore. While some Vampyres might believe there to be some hidden truth to vampire stories, namely historical ‘Living Vampires’ who have passed into myth, Vampyres generally do not make any fantastic claims of possessing qualities commonly associated with the vampires of popular fiction or folklore. Vampyres are perfectly able to distinguish fact from fiction.

Indeed, the reality of Vampyres as a modern cultural phenomenon is a fact that is beyond any doubt. Since at least the latter half of the last century there are people like us – people who name themselves Vampyres for a wide variety of reasons.

What is commonly known as the ‘Vampire Community’ is in fact not a unified community but a collection of networks, groups and individuals who are associated with each other by virtue of their shared self-identification with the vampire as a category of person or as an archetype.

For our own purposes, we define Vampyres as individuals who are part of the Vampyre Subculture, or Vampyre Culture, and who identify as ‘Real Living Vampires’ specifically.

Note that we are observing the anachronistic spelling with a ‘y’ when referring to our kind, emphasizing and affirming our belonging to Vampyre Culture, with the benefit of helping to distinguish our kind from the vampires of fiction and folklore, spelt with an ‘i’ in the conventional way. (While not all vampire-identified people participate in Vampyre Culture, many are familiar with or adopt certain cultural ideas, customs, symbols and terminologies of Vampyre Culture.)

THEORIES ON VAMPYRE IDENTITY

Both outside of as well as within the ‘Vampire Community’ one will likely encounter arguments that Vampyrism may be a health condition or disorder, a sexual fetish, an escape fantasy, or a religious belief. We believe that Vampyrism understood as the phenomenon of modern ‘Real Living Vampires’ is severely misrepresented by completely reducing the whole diversity of Vampyre Identity to any one of the aforementioned explanations or rationalizations.

Despite unfortunately sounding like one, Vampyrism – as we understand it – is NOT a medical condition or psychological syndrome in the sense that Vampyrism cannot be sufficiently represented by completely reducing it as such, although attempts have been made to link certain facets of Vampyrism to various physical or psychological conditions, suggesting that there may be an empirical condition underlying some cases of Vampyrism.

Likewise, Vampyrism – as we understand it – is NOT a sexual fetish in the sense that Vampyrism cannot be sufficiently represented by completely reducing it as such, although there can be sensual, erotic aspects to Vampyrism, and individuals may experience excitement or receive gratification from or during certain Vampyric acts or complement their practice of Vampyrism with participation in fetish, kink or BDSM activities.

Further, Vampyrism – as we understand it – is NOT an escape fantasy, in the sense that Vampyrism cannot be sufficiently represented by completely reducing it as such, although Vampyrism has been proposed to be a reaction to trauma, abuse or feelings of isolation, and some individuals who regard themselves as outsiders or outcasts might be attracted to Vampyre groups, which in some cases can take on the role of surrogate pseudo-families.

Lastly, Vampyrism – as we understand it – is NOT a cult, religion, religious belief or religious practice in the sense that Vampyrism cannot be sufficiently represented by completely reducing it as such, although Vampyrism can have religious or spiritual facets, which can be studied in the context of alternative spirituality or new religious movements.

In Black Rose Society we prefer to regard the phenomenon of modern ‘Real Living Vampires’, or Vampyrism, to be primarily a matter of identity – personal, social and cultural. Approaching Vampyrism this way – as a social phenomenon and culture – allows us to appreciate a wider range of complexity and diversity of perspectives found within the different strata and subsects of Vampyric communities without confining us to a too narrow definition of the nature of Vampyrism, or – more precisely – of Vampyre Identity.

What makes one a Vampyre is – to the best of our understanding – ultimately tied to the very individual reasoning leading one to name oneself a Vampyre, to adopt the Vampyre Identity, and to participate in Vampyre Culture. Put more simply, a Vampyre is potentially anyone who chooses to name oneself a Vampyre for one reason or another. The individual reasons for why a person might identify as, or express themselves as a Vampyre, or as being Vampyric, are many and varied.

VARIETIES OF VAMPYRE IDENTITY

In Black Rose Society, you will encounter very different and sometimes seemingly conflicting perspectives being discussed – why one Vampyre might drink human blood, why one Vampyre might feed on human life-forces or subtle energies, why one Vampyre might do both or neither, ranging the more traditionalist to the more modernist, from the more materialist to the more spiritualist – as well as be offered some insights into the cultural development of the presented ideas and perspectives.

Black Rose Society is a community dedicated to the whole complexity and diversity of Vampyre Identity, and Vampyre Culture. In principle, Black Rose Society does not discriminate against and welcomes any individual expression of Vampyre Identity, so long as it does not conflict with Black Rose Society’s rules, guidelines and policies.

‘Real Vampires’

Some Vampyres practice consensual human blood-drinking between adults. Also known as ‘Sanguine Vampires’ or ‘Sanguinarians’, they often, but not always, claim to have an affinity or need to feed on human blood and that this practice is of some benefit to their physical, emotional or spiritual well-being, or that they experience some other form of relief due to this practice. Please note: In Vampye Culture the practice of consensual human blood-drinking often, but not always, happens within the bounds of a committed intimate relationship, but always strictly consensually between risk-aware adults. Black Rose Society explicitly distances itself from any acts of blood-drinking or bloodletting that involve and/or in any way abuse unconsenting persons, minors or animals.

Some Vampyres who are better known as ‘Psychic Vampires’, ‘Energy Vampires’, ‘Psi Vampires’, or ‘Pranic Vampires’ believe they have an affinity or need to feed on subtle life-forces which they believe they are able to draw or gather from another person or a group of persons by means of their innate nature or learned abilities. Similarly, they claim that this practice is of some benefit to their physical, emotional or spiritual well-being, or that they experience some other form of relief due to this practice.

‘Sanguine Vampires’ along with ‘Psychic Vampires’ are often categorized as ‘Real Vampires’.

‘Living Vampires’

Other Vampyres embody the archetype of the vampire by expressing it through facets such as Lifestyle, Aesthetics, Philosophy or the Occult, often, but not always, complementing the practices previously mentioned.

These individuals are known by many different terms and distinctions, but are sometimes categorized as ‘Living Vampires’.

‘Real Living Vampires’ or Vampyres

Be advised that any such categories are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Vampyres who – by virtue of their individual identity – may find themselves in both categories, and would be considered ‘Real Vampires’ as well as ‘Living Vampires’, we call ‘Real Living Vampires’, or just Vampyres.

Black Rose Society Vampyres are Sanguines and ‘Real Living Vampires’ in the majority – but we welcome all vampire-identified people and all those who may be sympathetic to Vampyre Identity and Vampyre Culture, provided they comply with our rules, guidelines and policies.

BLACK ROSE SOCIETY ON VAMPYRE CULTURE – What it means to be a Vampyre

Vampyre Culture, also called the Vampyre Lifestyle or the Vampyre Subculture, is an alternative subculture, meaning it exists as an alternative to – and apart from, yet within – larger society. Vampyre Culture in its current modern form originated with and is influenced by other alternative subcultures, alternative lifestyles or alternative spiritualities, and is often more closely associated with the Gothic Subculture, as well as with elements of BDSM, Paganism or Satanism respectively.

Although not all vampire-identified groups and not all vampire-identified individuals necessarily consider themselves part of Vampyre Culture, many groups of Vampyres or individual Vampyres follow their own authentic expression of Vampyre Culture. Vampyre Culture is often that which connects the various communities of vampire-identified people.

Vampyre Culture has its own complex heritage, with its own traditions and authentic lines of transmission. Prior to the advent of the internet, communities of Vampyres and groups of the Vampyric Heritage were – compared to today’s standards – relatively isolated from each other. This resulted in several more or less distinct traditions of vampire-identified people arriving to exist side by side in the current modern ‘Vampire Community’ with the turn of the century, each possessing an authentic history, each having an equally legitimate claim to what it means to be a ‘Vampire’, sometimes complementing each other, sometimes contradicting each other. Today there are multitudes of different Vampyre Houses, Covens and Clan-Families preserving, refining and transmitting their own piece of the Vampyric Heritage. Black Rose Society itself was founded as a Protectorate-Partner and functions as an Outer Court for House Sauromatos, a traditional Vampyric Household based in Germany.

MAKINGS OF VAMPYRE CULTURE

In Black Rose Society we are dedicated to the study and the discussion of Vampyre Culture from within the perspective of active participation in Vampyre Culture. We see Vampyre Culture expressed in our own ideas of social organization, in customs, in codes of behaviour, in etiquette, in philosophy, in spirituality, in our symbols, language and terminologies, as well as – to a limited degree – in our aesthetics, style, fashion, music, art, etc.

What makes up Vampyre Culture, and what Vampyre Culture means for us as Vampyres are among the most important questions Black Rose Society is exploring. According to our patron and sponsor in House Sauromatos there are certain traditions, fundamental ideas and concepts that one might consider to be essential to Vampyre Culture – its character, its values as well as its aesthetics and mystique: Feeding, Naming, Speaking the Language, Wearing Black, Secrecy, Education and Family

Feeding

For most outsiders and indeed for many Vampyres their interest in Vampyre Society begins and ends with Feeding. Although our words for and our ideas surrounding the practice of Vampyric Feeding may certainly differ, Vampyres as a category of person are nearly universally defined by the fact that we engage in certain Vampyric acts, or Vampyric behaviour, generally understood as a Vampyric person actively feeding on another person’s life-forces, often in the form of blood. The varied practices of consensual human blood-drinking between risk-aware adults, or the arts of feeding on life by certain subtle means are the most commonly expressed forms of practised Vampyrism. This is what we call Feeding. Our ideas of what it is Vampyres feed on, how and when Vampyres feed, why Vampyres feed, if there is a need for Vampyres to feed, of which nature this need might be and what it means for us as Vampyres will differ from place to place, group to group, individual to individual. Regardless of the variety of ideas present and expressed in Vampyre Culture, the concept and practice of Vampyric Feeding is central to Vampyre Culture anywhere. This is part of Vampyre Culture.

Naming

Names have power. At the beginning of one’s journey, one often chooses a dedicated name to be used for any coming interactions within Vampyre Society. Taking on a new name – a Vampyre name – can be considered an individual rite of passage in Vampyre Culture. It signifies a dedication or desire to be known and recognized by that name as a part of Vampyre Society. A Vampyre’s chosen name is often highly meaningful and should reflect one’s personal identity and journey as a Vampyre. Therefore, care should be taken when choosing a name for oneself. Under certain circumstances, a Vampyre may accept a name chosen by one’s mentor or a person of similar standing. It is commonly permissible to change one’s chosen name when one has outgrown it. For some, taking on a new name can mean the freedom of leaving the past behind to begin anew, discovering or re-inventing yourself, to seek out new experiences, to forge new bonds, to choose a new family. Indeed, when joining a traditional group of Vampyres, one might, in addition, take on the name of the House, Clan, Coven or Family in question, or a name honouring one’s mentor, signifying individual belonging and lineage. Among traditional groups, one’s naming is often accompanied by certain rites and ceremonies. While naming customs may differ from place to place, a Vampyre’s chosen name is generally an important expression of one’s Identity as a Vampyre. This is part of Vampyre Culture.

Speaking the Language

Belonging to Vampyre Culture is distinctly marked by the correct usage of specialized terminologies. While a complete Vampyric language never reached widespread use in Vampyre Culture, its specialized terminologies are similar to an argot, or cant, a type of secret language which can be employed to protect a group’s spoken or written communication from outsiders, establishing a subculture existing separate but within a larger society. To learn this secret language present in Vampyre Culture one would commonly access and study word lists, or learn directly from other Vampyres within an established group. This is part of Vampyre Culture.

Wearing Black

Subtle and elegant, black is the preferred colour of Vampyres according to tradition and suitable for any social occasion or function of Vampyre Society. To complement a classic black attire, silver jewellery is often preferred by Vampyres, as is the wearing of certain signets and symbols associated with Vampyre Culture. Traditional groups are known to recommend stricter dress codes depending on various factors – yet, the colour black enjoys almost universal acceptance in Vampyre Culture anywhere. This is part of Vampyre Culture.

Secrecy

Secrecy and confidentiality are paramount for Vampyres. From the earliest beginnings of what would become Vampyre Culture, our communities have relied on secrecy and mutual discretion. It comes with the territory, the deviant nature of our interests and activities, which are largely – and perhaps rightfully – considered to be taboo in larger society. Originating in traditional codes of silence, the importance of secrecy is near-universally recognized in Vampyre Culture, and it often is among the first lessons to someone introduced to Vampyre Society. Vampyres must ever take care not to disclose any information that could be in any way construed to threaten other Vampyres, their families, their friends, or themselves. The same applies to our trusted Black Swans, who know of us and keep our secrets. Do not seek the attention of the mundane. Especially avoid the sensationalist media like the plague. Do not misrepresent yourself as speaking for all Vampyres, or for any Vampyre groups you are not sanctioned to represent. When possible, entrust any outside public relations to those with more experience. Protect each other’s personal information. Keep your Vampyre life and mundane life separate. Do not reveal a person’s mundane name or any other aspects of a person’s mundane identity to anyone without explicit permission. Indeed, it is good etiquette not to inquire about a person’s mundane identity at all within Vampyre Society. Always keep the secrets entrusted to you personally. This is part of Vampyre Culture.

Education

With knowledge comes responsibility. In Vampyre Culture knowledge is traditionally passed on personally – from person to person, from mentor to protégé – forming traceable lines of transmission. Being of the Vampyric Heritage, it is a Vampyre’s duty and responsibility to share one’s knowledge with others and impart them with the necessary skills to feed responsibly, to instruct them in the language and traditions of Vampyre Culture, and to prepare them to serve as leaders and guides for the next generation of Vampyres, passing on the legacy so that it may endure. In a traditional mentor-protégé relationship, a mentor is called to protect, to guide and to correct any missteps of their protégé – always leading by example. For the duration of a traditional mentorship period, a mentor is – to a limited degree – responsible for the behaviour of their protégé. A good mentor will provide access as well as personal insight by introducing their protégé to relevant texts and resources, teaching them protocol and proper conduct, and inviting them to attend gatherings and social functions with them. A good protégé will demonstrate an eagerness to learn by asking questions and show respect by being attentive and valuing their mentor’s time. By tradition, it is the mentor’s responsibility to assess whether their protégé has acquired the necessary level of experience, self-control and knowledge to stand on their own and be formally recognized as a member of Vampyre Society. The successful end of a mentorship period will often be marked by certain rites and celebrations, depending on ruling customs. Vampyre Culture’s distinctly personal approach to the transmission of knowledge often stems from an appreciation of the living Vampyric Heritage and the desire to keep the flame alive by passing it on from one person to another, one generation to the one following. Our Tradition is not the worship of ashes, but the preservation of fire. This is part of Vampyre Culture.

Family

Blood is thicker than water. Vampyres traditionally organize themselves into clannish, close-knit groups of like-minded, kindred spirits. Traditional Houses, Clans, Covens, or Families of Vampyres often emphasize their familial nature as part of their self-image. Indeed, traditional groups of Vampyres can at times resemble surrogate families, providing safety, stability and support – a life among your own kind, where other support systems might have failed you. Someone’s Vampyre Family is a true family of choice, often just as important to the individual as someone’s original family – if not more so. For these reasons, belonging and loyalty to one’s Vampyre Clan-Family or Vampyre House are valued highly in Vampyre Culture. Vampyre Houses, or other equivalent traditional groups, form the backbone of Vampyre Culture, and are typically, but not necessarily, headed by one or several influential matriarchal or patriarchal figures, with a close inner circle of Family members and retainers, attracting an outer circle of prospective members and hang-arounds as well as various supporters and sympathizers. While a certain level of stratification is traditionally upheld, it mainly fulfils a need for stability and security, which is ceremonially reproduced by hierarchy and ritual. In reality, there is often a striking difference between the formal stratified structure and the informal familial nature of this type of group – even in the most traditional of Vampyre Houses. Apart from providing their members with a family-like network of support, mutual loyalty and trust, Vampyre Houses, or other equivalent traditional groups, serve Vampyre Society in various other ways. Depending on the group or organization in question, Vampyre Houses, or other equivalent traditional groups, may be actively involved in the preservation and furthering of knowledge, in structured education and teaching, as well as in organizing events and social functions for their local communities. While the vast majority of individual Vampyres does not belong to a group following a more traditional model, their ideas and values of Family are deeply embedded in Vampyre Culture in general. Without the bonds of Family, we are nothing: Loyalty to each other, to Vampyre Society, to Clan and House – honouring the Ancestors, in Life and Death. All this is part of Vampyre Culture.

IDEAL OF VAMPYRE CULTURE

In Black Rose Society we customary refer to the utopian ideal of a community envisioned by Vampyre Culture as Vampyre Society.

Vampyre Society is perhaps, above all, a community of shared values. Vampyres often believe themselves to be in some way different from other people within larger society. Many Vampyres have experienced or continue to experience alienation due to their unique experiences. Vampyre Society is a place where all are valued and embraced for who they are, and where to be different is celebrated and cherished. Vampyre Society is a place where all are largely free from judgement imposed by larger society, heeding only Vampyre-specific codes of behaviour, more appropriate to their way of living. Vampyre Society is a place of belonging, which – fostered by the personal relationships found in real community, strengthened through facing shared adversity together, and heightened by the very mystique of the vampire archetype – may engender genuine feelings of pride and awaken true solidarity with other members of Vampyre Society.

To make Vampyre Society a lived reality, whenever or wherever possible, at social gatherings, or in any interaction with other Vampyres and Black Swans – this is the meaning of Vampyre Culture.

[lets-redesign-yansim]

Let’s Redesign Akademi High School

First off the name. Let’s just change the name to a last name, cause that’s easiest, let’s go with Hoshino Academy.

The main setting of the game is the school, so it’s important to flesh it out. Personally I don’t have a major issue with the layout of the school. I think the central courtyard is a good idea, the school is fairly easy to navigate, there are a lot of diverse areas to the school, the layout is not a major issue.

As a whole I think the major issue with the location itself is cohesion. Take for example these three rooms.

They feel like they’re all from very different locations, not three rooms in a high school. I think that this could be improved by having a neutral color scheme for the walls/floors and then have most of rooms with wall décor and furniture that changes. For instance the drama club room might be more like a dressing room connected to the theater, or be a dance rehearsal room. The martial arts club during the day has the mats rolled up in the corner of the room. 

In addition some of the clubs probably wouldn’t be approved by a prestigious school, so I think it would be more interesting if some of the clubs were more unofficial. For instance the Occult club operates in one of the storage closets, or the gaming club is instead a more informal group of friends in the computer lab. I think that this would make the social dynamics more apparent, for instance you might lose some reputation points for joining the occult club. 

Next, the uniform. 

The current uniform used by the game, as many have pointed out is the “sailor uniform” which in japan is essentially a middle school uniform. A lot of people have pointed this out before. Although the uniform is iconic in anime, it carries some pretty uncomfortable undertones. These characters are wearing a uniform for very young students (japanese middle school students are ages 12-15) while the characters in the game are implied to be sleeping with older men for money or being seduced by their teachers or taking photos of girl’s underwear. All of these elements are pretty gross at any age but the idea that they’re dressed up as middle schoolers makes it even more uncomfortable. So my solution is to use a high school uniform.

This is a common high school uniform style in Japan. The summer uniform style in silhouette looks very similar to the sailor uniform style. Make the bow red and the skirt blue and the girl’s uniform is very similar to the previously established sailor uniform.

Plus with this version you can add more on top of it. For instance giving the student council blazers while everyone else wears the summer style, different characters can have different sleeve lengths or skirt lengths or add sweaters or different kinds of bows/ties. Characters can look vastly different while still adhering to a uniform beyond just excessive hair accessories or stockings. 

In addition with the summer uniform male characters can also have variety in their uniforms. With the male uniform currently employed by yandere simulator there is little variation for male students. With the summer-style uniform you can have various sleeve lengths, ties, or add jackets onto the uniform to vary male students.

Next is the staff. 

The staff is too sexualized. The two teacher rivals will get their own posts but I think it’s kind of gross how sexualized the female faculty is compared to the headmaster, I know he’s supposed to be older but we all know why the female staff is designed the way they are to be sexy for the dev. 

The teachers all look alike, which I don’t think is a huge problem, maybe just changing some of their hair colors if they are intended to be distinct individual characters but keeping them similar makes them quickly recognizable. The guidance counselor I think looks fine but should have a different outfit, the hyper-sexualized outfit is too much. Conversely I think that there should be some male teachers or something, it just feels strange that all of the teachers are just sexy women. 

I also think it would be interesting to have the staff be more fleshed out. Some of them have favorite students or are supervisors of certain clubs. This would give more obstacles in the social dynamics of the school. Killing one person affects a web of others, insulting one person affects a web of others, befriending one person affects a web of others. And I think that should include the staff. 

Finally the mechanics of the classroom. 

Currently on each day the player can attend two classes of their choice. The options available are biology, chemistry, language, physical education, and psychology. These classes are intended to improve certain skills utilized in the game. Language in the final product will likely improve speech checks, and chemistry will likely allow you to use more poisons, etc. However I think that since school is such a major part of the game, it should have more utility.

Obviously it would be boring to attend a full class, but I have three ideas of random events that could occur during a class.

Let’s say a player picks a class. While in the class at random a short dialogue option appears where a student asks to cheat off of your work. You could report the student for cheating, hand over your work, tell the student you’ll help tutor them, or say no. These options would either improve or decrease the player’s social status, or even get the teacher’s trust. Small social events like this would be interesting and make the environment feel more like a school with classes and assignments going on instead of a sandbox. 

My second idea is to give the player a chance to learn some information at random. Kind of like helpful hints, maybe during the class two girls are talking about how they were going to hang out with Rival X, but she was going to be at the pool tomorrow. Or the player hears the teacher talking to a repairman about how the vents have such cheap screws and should be replaced next year. Or the player learns that certain types of cleaning fluids used by the chemistry room, and the school’s cleaning supplies are flammable, and should be handled with care. Small pieces of information that the player could use to their advantage, making the classes more useful.

My final idea is having a random event for the player to ingratiate themselves to the teachers. Maybe the teacher asks for a volunteer and the player does a simple minigame. Or the teacher asks the class a question and the player has to choose the correct answer (or choose not to answer at all). If the player succeeds these minigames, the teacher likes and trusts them a bit more. Keep this up, and the you’ll become a “teacher’s pet” where the faculty isn’t as suspicious or defensive of you as you’ve proved yourself a good student. 

These events would make the class time not feel like a waste or glossed over. They would be useful in multiple ways to gain information or social status or new skills. They would also give the player options for what kind of character they want to be. If they want to be a quiet wallflower they can simply observe. Or they could be a delinquent who gets questions wrong and cheats off other students. Or they can be a studious over achiever who’s respected by the teachers. 

These changes and additions I think would improve the setting to make it feel more like a school. Considering how a majority of the game takes place here and that a large part of the mechanics are dependent on understanding the school, these simple changes I feel would help flesh it out from a gimmicky, unrealistic location to a complete academy.  

Beyond the school I think there should be a small town or street, but that will be a separate post. 

Tldr; make the academy more complex and interesting by adding a few random events and aesthetic changes. 

[plumrabbit]

DA Fandom and moving forward - Calling In vs. Calling Out

Hi everyone,

As a PoC member of the DA fandom, I felt I have been quiet for long enough on the issues that have been presented recently. I am not here to argue against or on behalf of any individual or group, I am only here to present some information that I hope will be helpful moving forward. This is a long post, but it’s my hope that if you read it and want to help contribute to making this place better for everyone, then you will be willing to try to put what is said here into practice.

Since I am a relatively small blog, I wanted to start with a little personal introduction that will segue into the topic at hand. My name is Liz (you can call me Jade too, that’s part of my middle name), and I am a mixed race, “ambiguously brown”, aspec person from Canada. I grew up around mostly other immigrant families, attended predominantly non-white schools that were run by mostly white admins, and completed my degrees at a very white university in a field that does not have much racial diversity. I have experienced racism first-hand many times including, but not limited to, name-calling/slurs, fetishization/exotification, being followed by staff, people second-guessing my name, jokes about hurting/killing people of my race, etc. as well as witnessing racism directed at my friends and peers. I know exactly what it’s like to be exhausted and feel unsafe or othered.  There is, however, one thing I need to point out about the multitude of instances of racism I’ve experienced - most of them were caused by ignorance, and not malice. Yes there are absolute assholes out there, but personally I can count those people I’ve encountered on one hand (I am not speaking for everyone, though). The vast majority of racism, bigotry and general harmful acts come from a place of ignorance, particularly on left-leaning tumblr (to clarify, this discussion is centered around well-meaning people and not the actual lost causes). When I say ignorance, I don’t mean a lack of education or intelligence, I mean not being able to see or understand an issue from another person’s perspective. It’s not quite the same as empathy either (where empathy means you are able to feel another person’s emotions), but fighting ignorance does require empathy. It also requires knowledge on the context of the specific situation, and that I believe is the crux of the problem.  I think the main reason why this is issue is particularly prevalent in the DA fandom is a result of the too-close-to-reality-to-ignore inspirations that have been confirmed by the devs. Yes, it’s fiction, but there are also a lot of people that see themselves (mis)represented in the themes and characters. And what one person sees as disrespectful, another person may not see at all. This can come full circle, too, for example: one person sees themselves and their trauma represented in a character, another person sees their race misrepresented in the same character. Person 1 uses the character as a comfort character or coping strategy. Person 2 thinks using that character in certain situations is disrespectful. Neither one sees the other’s perspective.  This is where intersectionality starts to come into play, and requires empathy and effort to address the intentions and emotions of the other person. Perhaps person 1 is LGBTQ+ and has been traumatized by being as such, and uses Dorian as a character to explore their trauma. Perhaps person 2 is Brown, and racism towards their people is their trigger, and thinks person 1 did not do Brown representation justice in their creative works.  Looking at this more specifically, person 1 may have put Dorian in sexual situations. Person 2 feels that the way it was conveyed was fetishist or exotified. Person 2 doesn’t know person 1′s intentions. Person 1 is not aware of certain descriptions that are racist (e.g. using food to describe a PoC’s skin tone). Perhaps person 1 was self-inserting and wanted to feel desirable on their own terms, but this gave person 2 that squick factor.  Now person 2 wants to address this issue, and I think this is where a call-in (not a call-out) would be appropriate. Here is a good infographic that compares the two: 

(Original source)

Note that there is quite a large difference in the language used. Going back to the above example, person 2 could privately message person 1 asking them why they chose to represent Dorian the way they did, with specific examples, and using call-in language (and I’m going to get back to this in a minute). 

The point of this post and infographic isn’t meant to tell marginalized groups how they should be bringing up issues (though it is a good guide if you are concerned about being polite, particularly to a first time offender), it’s intended to demonstrate to people unintentionally participating in harmful behaviour what a call-out vs. call-in looks like. For PoC and other marginalized groups, yes it does take emotional labour to use call-in language and to try to understand someone that wounded you (here is a good read that incorporates the concept of emotional labour for call-ins, and discusses asking yourself if you are ready to do so). For the people who have unintentionally hurt a marginalized individual or group, please understand that someone calling you in is not an attack, it’s a chance to explain why you expressed something the way you did. 

That being said, we may have reached another hurdle. What if you call someone in, and the person called in does not want to discuss the fact that they were inserting their personal trauma? I think this is where things start to get a bit messy, but I am of the opinion that if you’ve unintentionally triggered someone else’s trauma through ignorance present in your work, you owe it to them to at the very least mention that you were inserting your trauma, without having to bring up specifics (anyone is allowed to set boundaries). From there, the discussion can be hopefully be opened up to learning from each other, and reaching a consensus. Sometimes that consensus requires the creator to edit or remove their work. As an addendum, if you are a creator that unintentionally hurt someone with your work that didn’t have an ulterior personal motivation, it’s your responsibility to understand why what you did was wrong, apologize, remove the work and do better next time. I know some people cherish their OCs, but you are allowed to change your perspective and make adjustments to your character without erasing them entirely. Now we’ve reached another potential obstacle - what if an offender doesn’t respond to your call-in? First of all, ask yourself, did you actually call them in, or did you attack them? Here is a good opinion piece from a Black professor on this matter. I’d like to clarify that I am not trying to tone police, I am speaking as someone that used to go ham on ignorant people on Facebook and Reddit, and has since changed their tactics and has even gotten through to Trump supporters (some of this stems from my spiritual growth as well, but that is not the point here).  There is another issue to address here now as well - what if you have tried, repeatedly, to call someone in and they just don’t change their behaviour? Alright, then it’s probably time to call them out. But again, ask yourself, did you truly try to get through to them? If so, well, at the end of the day, some people are, unfortunately, lost causes. In summary, a call-in is meant to come from a place of wanting to help someone who has seemingly gone astray, because you are worried about their thoughts, feelings, and behaviours towards a marginalized group. You know that if they made a mistake it isn’t them, isn’t their heart, and you want them to be able to understand why what they did hurt others, and give them the chance to correct themselves. It comes from a place of love and acceptance, because you don’t want your friends to harbour negative beliefs.  Finally, I want to give a real example of this in action. My cousin is a photographic artist, and was recently called in to discuss the nature of one of her pieces. Her subjects are usually people, and they come from a wide variety of backgrounds. To help support BLM (she does a lot of work to help fight racism in general), she auctioned off one of her pieces. The subject of the piece happened to be a Black woman. She was called in by Black members of her art community to discuss how people bidding on an art piece that featured a person from a marginalized group perpetuated the ogling and monetization of Black people. She gave a response that acknowledged that her piece did perpetuate this issue, because she wanted to raise awareness of this historical harm, and recognized that her intention was ignorant of this perspective. The Black community also acknowledged that the piece itself was not harmful in any way, only that the surrounding issue that they were painfully aware of needed to be brought to light. The auction went ahead, and the piece sold for ~$1000, all of which was donated to BLM.  I think as a fandom we should be cognizant of when a work itself is harmful, or when the intention is harmful. Sometimes they overlap, sometimes they don’t. Both are talking points, and we should not be afraid to discuss them, but this requires respect from all parties. We also do need to be able to recognize what is strictly fiction, versus what has real-world impacts. My askbox is always open and my DMs are open to mutuals if you would like anything clarified or expanded upon. Or, if you’d just like to discuss a topic, vent, or have any questions about my own beliefs, you are welcome to reach out. I am happy to discuss anything, as long as there is mutual respect. 

[whentherewerebicycles]

hi! i wanted to say i love reading your reflections on teaching, and in general i really look up to/am inspired by your thoughts regarding education and academia. if it's not too much to ask (completely understandable if it is, in that case please disregard!) i would love to get your advice on college related things?

i had pretty significant academic struggles throughout grade school, and ended up dropping out of college after a year. i would've graduated this may, so lately i've been considering going back and finishing my bachelor's. but i've been waffling on this decision because of 1) anxiety about having to drop out again, and 2) some confusion about what i actually want to study. i guess i'm wondering, is it worth it to start from scratch? my struggles were mostly about mental health stuff & difficulty keeping up with coursework—i loved being in the classroom, working with professors, learning from other students. i like being challenged intellectually, but if i have issues with followthrough, is there a way to work on that??? i know these are Big Questions, lol--whether they are answerable or not, cheers and thank you and i hope you are doing well these days. <3

hey! happy to give my thoughts, for what they're worth. you know your situation better than i do so the specifics may or may not be relevant, but i can give some advice just based on seeing lots of students pass through four-year programs!

i've worked with a number of students who took time away from college and came back to finish later. i took a year off myself in the middle of college for mental health reasons, though my school allowed you to take a two-semester leave of absence for any reason (so i always had the safety net of knowing i could come back without having to reapply or start over). in my experience, time away is almost always a good thing. sometimes people just really need that break from the stressors of the college environment! but more importantly, i think people benefit from having a few years' experience living and working in the world.

even though it can be intimidating to come back to college as an older student, i think older students or nontraditional students who took time off and came back tend to underestimate how much more confident and assured in themselves they'll be once they're back in the classroom. working out in the world for a while, even if it's not a job that you especially love or feel is relevant to your long-term goals, tends to help you build more trust in your own ability to get stuff done, manage responsibilities, and be an adult person in the world. in your time away, you've probably grown more than you think, and you may find that some of the things you struggled with at 18 just don't feel as daunting anymore. or they might feel daunting, but you also have more experience talking and working with other people, and you may feel more confident in seeking out & using your college's various academic success resources.

have you considered a two-year college as a possible next step? one of my advisees this year was an adult student who went to college for a year, dropped out, served in the military for four years, came back to do an associate's degree, and decided he liked school enough that he wanted to transfer to our university and finish his degree. (now he's going on to do a phd next fall!!!!) he's one of the most passionate advocates for community colleges i've ever met, and he's stayed actively involved in our local CC community & now mentors recent transfer students at our university. he's talked at length about how CCs are this amazing way for students to explore their interests without having to take on the huge price tag of a four-year degree, within a learning community that's much warmer, more responsive to student needs, and more accepting of the diverse paths that lead people to & through higher education. i wonder if you might consider taking a semester or a year of courses at your local CC, to dip your toes back in and see if you're still feeling energized by the experience.

you might find that some of the courses aren't intellectually challenging enough, but this might also be a wonderful opportunity to create the kind of learning experience you want to have. i was a full-time community college student for a year during my year away from yale, and while i'm sure i was just INSUFFERABLE in many ways, i had a prof in my Western Civ course who was really generous with his time/energy and met with me outside of class to help me figure out how to make the papers into something that i found really exciting and challenging to write. so the class kind of became what i made of it, and i got to read some stuff (dostoevsky!!!) that sent me down all kinds of interesting unexpected rabbitholes. the former CC grad i mentioned above was an extraordinarily bright student who would always go to office hours and ask his profs for more recommended readings, and he ended up becoming a TA for one of his courses and helped them redesign basically their entire intro humanities curriculum as a student advisor. so your CC experience can absolutely be what you make of it. and even if your profs can't give you that kind of support, you could practice doing it for yourself, setting little challenges for yourself either focused on the intellectual aspects ('I'm going to read and cite two scholarly sources in this paper, even though it's not required') or on developing strategies for effectively managing the workload ('I'm going to schedule a writing center appointment on Thurs, so I have to finish this paper two days before the deadline—and then I can devote my weekend study time to practicing for my Spanish test').

CC would be a slightly lower stakes environment for you to try out college again— lower-stakes both in the sense that it's cheaper (so if you decide you don't want to continue, you're not out as much money / don't feel compelled to go on to justify the debt you've taken on) and in the sense that the workload might be more manageable for you as you readjust to academic life and build systems & structures that work for you. as you probably have gathered from this blog, i am a HUGE believer in doing lower-stakes things many times over to build your own confidence and your trust in yourself, and then gradually scaling up the difficulty. by the time you reach the hard thing, you've already built up this strong image of yourself as a person who can handle challenges (and you've also had the chance to identify areas where you struggle & experiment with developing workable solutions).

if a two-year college isn't something you're especially interested in, i think it's definitely possible to start a four-year degree again. if that's the path you choose, i would strongly recommend reaching out to students in some of the degree programs you're tentatively interested in. people are almost always happy to share their ~wisdom~ (see: this ask response, lol) and most people love being asked for their thoughts on the pros and cons of something they know well. so you could get an honest sense from students of what the program is like, what the workload is like, and how useful or engaging people find the required courses for the degree. but also know that it's pretty normal to take courses all over in your first year or two (you have the advantage of having done a freshman year before, so you probably know this!), so you might just want to plan to try out a bunch of different things, with the goal of narrowing your focus by the end of your first year, or midway through your second.

i would also HIGHLY recommend spending lots of time familiarizing yourself with the resources your university has to offer. learn everything you can about the kind of mental health counseling and support they offer to students, and see if there are things you can set up in advance for yourself before you even step foot on campus. for instance, our university offers individual counseling, but they also have free groups that meet every week or two around different topics (coping with stress, students in recovery, etc) that are led by a counselor. check out your university's writing center or peer tutoring centers, too, and set up a standing appointment once a month or once a week or whatever, to bring in something you're working on—so that you know that every week, you're going to talk with someone about what's going well and what you're struggling with in your assignments.

you might also want to look into your university's services for students with disabilities office, as they can help you figure out if you are eligible for various kinds of accommodations or additional support (extra time on exams, notetaking services, recorded lectures, etc). i know you mentioned that you've dealt with academic struggles in grade school, too. if you think it's possible that there may be underlying learning differences that are affecting your academic work, it might be worth seeing if they can help you find lower-cost testing, so you can get a diagnosis that qualifies you for additional accommodations and university support.

many schools, esp large public universities, also have resource centers and mentoring programs for students from specific demographics who may benefit from additional structure and support in their early years of college. my university has a variety of resource centers and programs for students from low-income backgrounds, first-gen students, students who transferred from community college, etc. you don't have to take advantage of ALL of these resources, but proactively establishing a support network long before you need it is a really good way to set yourself up for success. and even just doing the research will probably help you feel more confident in your capacity to 'follow through', since you'll know that you're going into this with your eyes wide open AND with a detailed plan for what to do if you run into some of the same obstacles you encountered the first time around.

speaking of detailed plans: i find it helpful sometimes to do IF-THEN exercises with students when they're stressed about something on the horizon or unsure about whether they can handle some new challenge. IF-THEN is just what it sounds like: 'IF this thing I'm nervous about happens, THEN I'm going to do X, Y, or Z.' what i like about this exercise (i use it with myself too aha) is that it acknowledges that sometimes the thing you're dreading DOES happen. sometimes the professor you emailed for an extension says no. sometimes the TA doesn't understand why you're confused about the assignment. sometimes you don't have time to finish the reading before class. sometimes you overschedule yourself and you have to pull an all-nighter to finish two papers on the same night. scary things, confidence-shaking things, happen all the time, but they are rarely fatal! and there can be something really powerful about acknowledging and naming the thing you're concerned about, and then generating a few next steps you could take, should the thing you're dreading come to pass. i could see you doing something like this as you start thinking about the things that tripped you up last time, or made it difficult for you to balance the workload. if X happens, then what could you try next? giving yourself a few options means that you already have backup plans, too, which can make the whole situation less terrifying. if this happens, i might have to try this, or this, or this, and those things might not be the most fun or the easiest to do or the 'best' thing academically, but they'll get me through this difficult moment mostly in one piece, and once i'm through it i can look back on it and learn from it, or adjust the structures i've built for myself moving forward, to reduce the chance that X happens again.

PHEW!!! sorry this got so long but that is just the RISK YOU TAKE when sending me anons 😅 i hope that some of this is helpful to you, or at least sparks some useful thinking for you, even if it's not all directly applicable to your situation. i would say that if you love learning and find being in the classroom exhilarating, then you should absolutely go back to college! but that doesn't mean you have to go back right away, or that you have to go back and do it exactly the same way you did the first time. there are lots of possible paths to higher ed, and there's no particular rush—college will always be there, if it's something you decide you want now or at some future point in your life. i would also just reiterate again one of the core Themes of This Blog, which is that the brain is NEUROPLASTIC, and that humans have a truly astounding amazing capacity to change, grow, and learn new things (including new ways of getting around old obstacles or working through old challenges). just because you struggled the first time doesn't mean you are doomed to repeat that pattern. if you can spend some time thoughtfully reflecting on what you found most difficult to manage the first time through, you are better equipped to make plans, design new structures for yourself, and build the support networks that will help you thrive in college.

[johnstibal]

Career advice for law students wanting to practice in international law

Hello,

I was recently asked by a law student for some career advice on how to get a job internationally, and particularly how they could get engaged in international (public and private) legal work.

While my legal background stems largely from doing multinational corporate work, particularly in the IT sector, here are my basic ideas outlining a few generic things to think about in terms of your career planning and some key approaches to pursuing these types of careers.

My background.  For the past several years, I have worked primarily in London, and secondarily in Paris, for a very large telecommunications company.  I was originally working for another one of this companies' affiliates in USA, and this enabled me to move internally to another one of their companies in the UK.  Making this move internally within a large company allowed me to move abroad far easier, especially in terms of sorting out work visas and professional qualifications, etc.

Three Career Principles to Never Forget.  In terms of general career advice, there are three principles which you must keep in mind to work in international law related field.  While I recognize the risk of sharing a 'firm grasp of the obvious' (and I can almost hear some cringing already) most law students do not receive this message framed in this sort of a utilitarian light.  So, here it goes:

The sole purpose of your first legal job is to enable you to get a better second legal job.

It is all about Brand.  Your CV / Resume is a personal marketing tool.  It is your personal ‘brand’.  The choice of your first job should strongly take into account the value which the ‘brand’ of your new employer will add to your CV, and your future ambitions.  This lasts for decades.

You cannot save the world if you cannot pay the bills.  Public international law has some of the most interesting legal work around.  Unfortunately, or fortunately, it also has a tendency to attract incredibly brilliant people who will work for a minimum salary.  If you are independently wealthy, then great, no problem.  If you have large education debts, please do not neglect the fact this will undoubtedly impact your choice of jobs in the short term, even if not necessarily in the longer term.

Your first Legal job.  Getting your first Legal job is always a nerve wracking experience at best, and especially if you want to take a track other than going directly into a large law firm.  Unfortunately, nearly all major law schools are set up to build a funnel for large firms.  For your interests, even if you do not wish to 'end up' in a law firm or major global corporation, it usually makes considerable sense for you to go out to find the best ‘brand’ firm which you can, either in the US, UK or elsewhere.  You will be able to extract the majority of the benefits during this time by working at a firm for exactly two years (or three years, if in New York City) doing whatever type of legal work - - of course, its even better if your firm or company has a public international law practice, but this is not required.  By the end of this time, you will have ‘checked the box’ on your CV, and you can happily move on to what you really want to do.  This is by far is the safest option for most, and also incidentally, completes one of the requirements enabling you to be admitted to practice in other common law countries (e.g. the UK).  I’m not certain whether this is as helpful in other civil law countries, but I suspect it would be.

There is no question that working at a law firm, and potentially billing in ‘6 minute’ increments gets very tiring.  Reviewing e.g. commercial leases is even less fun than watching paint dry.  But this said, you will probably be practicing law for a very long time off and on anyway.  Having a good initial first employer on your CV, who has ‘trained’ you is always a good investment for your CV even if not necessarily beneficial to you over the long term.

As a lawyer who has graduated from a US law school, you are able to come to Europe with a well respected professional background (speaking generally).  In terms of global perceptions, US lawyers are highly respected, maybe in a similar form of the admiration to being world-class in other professions e.g. French engineers, British accountants, or Indian mathematicians - - not to foster bad stereotypes…  But, needless to say, the USA legal professional qualification travels well around the world, particularly among global employers.

This being said, there is a particular area of confusion when you first come out of law school.  Legal training is not the same around the world, meaning in France, a jurist has may have only attended the equivalent of undergrad and not graduate school (in terms of USA style nomenclature, depending on their qualifications).  In the UK, while there are some permutations, most young associates at large law firms will attend around a year and a half or so of graduate school, followed by two years of a training contract to learn how to practice law.  In Germany, many associates hold an LLM, or a PHD, at minimum, staying in school much longer.  While you probably can research the differences in the number of years of schooling better than me, you should be particularly aware of this issue when you turn up to speak with a new potential employer in Europe.  There is a risk of being perceived as wanting to find only a training contract, which is not needed as a USA law school graduate.  After your first job, the timing issue goes away as you accumulate more PQE (Post Qualification Experience).  The same is true in France, as I understand it.

An alternative path in human rights / non-profit sector for law students.  This is an area where my knowledge is limited.  But, if I wanted to pursue a career in this field, I would adopt some of the following key approaches.

First, figure out who are the heavyweights thought leaders in your particular field of interest, either individuals or organizations - - and, do your best to somehow associate yourself with their organization or sphere of colleagues.  You want to try to figure out who these organizations interact with, and by extension, which of these organizations might hire you.  Linkedin is an extraordinarily powerful resource for this research.  To test your hypotheses, try calling up or meeting up with the General Counsel of any public interest foundation (if not possible to meet in person, then email / Skype also works  but is far less effective than in person).  Introduce yourself, and ask him or her for some general advice, in particular what ‘outside counsel’ their foundation typically uses - - make clear that you admire the work of their foundation, and look to gain relevant experience by doing similar work in the future.  Ask about their Legal department organizational structure (General Counsels - GCs) love talking about this stuff), and what skills they look for over the long term, but even if not necessarily immediately.  If it goes well, you might get some really good information, and maybe even a referral to a firm or sister organization.  Senior Executives are very used to people asking them for jobs on a daily basis.  But, they get asked for their advice far less often.  Use this to your advantage... but do not be a pest.

As an example coming from NGOs, from time to time, I have occasionally dealt with some of the affiliates of the United Nations as a supplier. There are probably 20 of these, e.g. World Bank, IMF, UNHCR, IATA, WIPO, Red Cross, Red Crescent, and Red Crystal.  Some of these organizations you are probably more familiar to you than others.  There are two consistent traits that I see when dealing with their personnel.  First, many of the staff are about to retire, and second, their staff have all consistently bounced around the world working in many different UN affiliates and national governments doing all sort of different roles, both legal and non-legal.  The first of these is a well known problem for the UN and its agencies, at least, at a macro level, which might be helpfully to you. While I’m not certain what formal hiring programs may exist in these orgs, you should check with them around world, and particularly in Geneva, Switzerland and New York.  Also, in terms of firms which advise this types of groups, you should also talk with McKinsey & Company.  They do some very impressive pro bono work consulting for non-profits, and like to hire people with diverse backgrounds often having law degrees.

To get the attention of any large organization, and not just the UN agencies, you will always want to first find a way to get through the door, even if you need to do the unsexy type of legal work.  Once you are inside, it is usually far easier to move internally.  For example, if you work for a big organization like the UN, they have a vast array of legal needs, ranging from the basic to the exotic.  It is undoubtedly the case that a large portion of the UN’s legal budget goes to HR and Procurement legal advice (e.g. doing commercial leases, procuring pencils and IT projects) (whether done in-house or by external firms.)  When a UN agency needs to lease a building in sub-Saharan Africa, some lawyer somewhere in the world needs to review and advise on the tender process (often in combination with other local lawyers).  Therefore, this is an opportunity to target.   Yes, this is not sexy work, but it gets you a pass into the ‘club’ to work on other more interesting projects in the future.

As a final thought.  Having outlined all of above, if you truly want to work in the non-profit / human rights space, it might be the case that being a ‘junior file clerk’ for Google.org or the Gates Foundation is equally beneficial (from a brand perspective to get your next job) as being a senior associate at Skadden Arps.

On the one hand, being at a big firm allows you to potentially develop a deep legal specialty, which might be later retooled for a good purpose.  For example, undoubtedly, at some point, a brilliant lawyer in some large law firm will figure out how to package up millions of ‘microfinance’ loans using mezzanine financing techniques (i.e. allowing Wall Street money to start funding billions of very small loans around the world) - - in so doing, they could indirectly create prosperity in Africa for a life time.

At the same time, NGOs have a potential to do great things too.  These are the people who are likely to generate the next generation of new legal concepts / quasi-regulatory regimes.  For example, a newer area which I am following lately relates to 'conservation services' and 'natural capital' (see Conservation International) (www.conservation.org).  These structures are, essentially, quasi-voluntary regulatory schemes to allow companies to share and manage ecological externalities (see Jennifer Morris's speech at Stanford).  For me, CI's approach is just a start of a major trend in this area: soon there will be ISO certificate schemes covering externality pricing, as well as voluntary business case weighting methodologies which hopefully over time will become a standard approach in global commercial activity - - yet, this said, few individuals in the world understand how these types of governance tools work in practice.  It simply cross too many intellectual domains, which so far has stymied adoption on a global level.  'Deep Greens' are not well suited to create these types of applied 'corporate' innovations around externalities, but maybe you are the one given your legal background.

Highly innovative organizations, such as the Gates Foundation, look great to onlookers because, in large part, by comparison, the other large global NGOs have tired ‘business’ models.  Often major NGOs have been doing the same exact thing for decades.  For me, I could see this as creating an opportunity.  It might be great fun to join one of these NGOs for the express purpose to reshape it, remake it, and help them to reinvent their bag of tricks as an NGO.  As a lawyer, you can have this level of influence within these types of organizations - - but, remember, always ask for forgiveness, never for permission when trying to affect major change within large organizations.

Keep in touch.  If you like this or have other items to add, please drop me a note.  I always enjoy hearing from people and what they think.  These are changing times!

Best of luck,

John

[plannedparenthood]

Homeschooling Help: How Parents Can Teach Sex Education While COVID-19 Keeps Families at Home

Even though schools around the country have begun opening back up, parents and caregivers still play an active role in their children’s education. 

We’re here to show you how to be your kid’s go-to resource for answers and advice on bodies, sex, sexuality, gender, relationships, consent, and more — from pre-K through high school. Here’s our top 5 tips from the Planned Parenthood experts. 

Incorporate Learning Into Daily Activities

Not all sex education needs to be formal. There’s a lot to be learned from TV, books, and other media around the house.

Use storylines from TV and movies to spark honest conversations with your kids. 

While you’re watching a TV show or movie together, play Healthy Relationships Bingo. Compare which boxes you check off and talk about what’s similar and different.

Follow our TV watching guide and pause the program at key scenes to ask what your kid thinks. This could include when you see romance, sexual activity, pregnancy, peer pressure, or sexting.

After you watch something, discuss the relationships in it. Is the sexual activity consensual? Are the relationships healthy? Are characters communicating clearly and assertively with each other? Who is and is not getting represented (i.e. are there LGBTQ characters/relationships, a diversity of race/ethnicities), and how are they being represented? Ask their opinions and share your own as well.

Read together, and use stories to spark conversations. 

Reading together can look a lot of different ways: You can read a children’s book to your kid, read a short story over their shoulder, or read the same book on your own, checking in after each chapter.

After reading, discuss the characters and storylines, asking their opinions and sharing yours. You can use the same questions suggested above in the TV and movies section. When it comes to consent and healthy relationships, you can share messages like these to help your kids better understand these topics. 

Get Formal: Plan a Time and Set a Place

If you’re homeschooling on a more formal schedule, it’s helpful to have time set aside for sex education at the same times and in the same part of your home. 

 Keep in mind that even if your local school has implemented an online learning program, it might not include the vital sex education your child needs. You can ask your kid what subjects are being covered to help guide you in what you may want to supplement.

First Step: Do Your Homework

Watch our videos for parents (también en español) and read through plannedparenthood.org/parents to help prepare you. These videos help you tackle important topics in age-appropriate ways, from preschool to high school. Topics include gender identity, healthy relationships, porn, and more. Choose a topic that you’d like to start with and set a time to dig into it.

Activities: Using Educational Videos

You know your kids. If they’re visual learners, then watch these educational videos together: 

For high school-aged teens:

Consent 101 Videos: This four-video series is all about consent — what it is, how to know if someone wants to have sex with you, and what to do if they don’t. We also have a lesson plan you can pick up and use along with the videos.

STD Communication Videos: This three-video series models how to have conversations about safer sex, STD testing, and being honest about your status. We also have a lesson plan you can pick up and use along with the videos.

Sexual and Reproductive Health (también en español): These 16 short videos give you the basics on birth control, how pregnancy happens, abortion, and more. 

For middle school-aged kids:

AMAZE Videos: AMAZE has a whole bunch of sex education videos for tweens and younger teens that you can watch together and discuss. They also have resources for parents and educators on how to use the videos with kids. 

Activity: Digital Education Tools

If you’re looking for some interactive activities for your middle- or high school-aged teen to help them think through preventing unintended pregnancy and STDs, we’ve got plenty for you! Our games for teens are interactive and based on science, helping them think through decision making around things like peer pressure, deciding when they’re ready to have sex, and using birth control and condoms to prevent both unintended pregnancy and STDs. We also have some lesson plans you can use towards the bottom of this page that go along with some of the games!

Activity: Start a Conversation Whether it’s a follow-up to one of those educational videos or bringing up another topic that’s important to you, it’s essential to get the conversation going. Don’t worry — you don’t need to be an expert. You just need to be willing to talk AND listen. 

Once you’ve talked it out, use what you discussed to inform your next topic. Research tells us that kids and teens who have regular conversations with their parents and caregivers about sex and relationships are less likely to take risks with their sexual health, and more likely to be healthy and safe. So keep the conversation going!

Give an Assignment: Something to Read or Watch On Their Own

Some children thrive in group learning environments, and others flex their learning muscles better on their own. If you know your kid works better independently, support that. And if they learn best by taking in new information slowly, give them time to process. 

Books and activities: Check out the sex education word find and books for children on this resource page. Pick one of the resources, let your child engage with it on their own, and encourage them to ask you questions.

Videos: If you watch one of the videos above and feel that it’s appropriate for your child to watch by themselves, then share it with them. If you have tweens or teens, send them to our Roo High School video series or AMAZE. And if you have younger children, try Amaze Jr.’s videos for kids 4 years old and up. 

PlannedParenthood.org/Teens: We have a whole section on our website just for teens! You can pick sections for them to read through, and then talk about them together later.

COVID-19 on the Planned Parenthood website: If you have an older teen who has questions or concerns about COVID-19, they can read our COVID-19/New Coronavirus website — particularly the page on ways to protect your sexual health while protecting yourself from COVID-19. 

Seize the Opportunity: When Issues Come Up, Use Them as Teachable Moments

With more time at home, you may find that your kid is asking you more questions about all kinds of things, including bodies, sex, and relationships. And while you’re spending more time with your kids, you may notice more things about their physical and emotional development — like their romantic interests, social media habits, or changing body. 

These little experiences throughout the day are great teachable moments. You can use these moments as opportunities to ask questions and share your values. AMAZE's Askable Parent Challenge can help you navigate your kid’s questions and your own observations while we all adjust to social distancing.

If your child responds to more downtime by exploring their own body and discovering masturbation, this article has tips for parents on what to do (mainly: relax, talk about it, and set some sensible privacy boundaries and hygiene practices!). 

Outsource: Show Kids How to Find Accurate Answers from Other Sources

The suggestions above will help you become your kid’s go-to resource for questions about bodies, sex, and relationships. But kids may have questions that they don’t feel comfortable talking about with you, and that’s OK, too. So it’s helpful to point out trustworthy resources they can go to.

PlannedParenthood.org

Our website has a ton of information on all things sex and relationships, including a section just for teens. They can find all kinds of commonly asked questions on our Ask The Experts blog, as well as ask questions of their own!

Roo

Roo is Planned Parenthood’s free, private, sex ed chatbot that can answer all of your kid’s questions about sex, relationships, puberty, and more. No question is too awkward for Roo! 

Chat/Text

For those times your kid wants to talk with a real person, our Chat/Text program connects them in real-time with trained health educators. Your child can text or chat with these health educators about pregnancy, STDs, birth control, and more. Like Roo, it’s free and confidential.

Spot On

Spot On is our period and birth control tracker app, available to download for free on iOS and Android. It’s a great way for young people with periods to get to know their cycle, learn about reproductive health, and, if they’re on birth control, help them stay on top of it with personalized support.

For More Information

Remember: You can make a big difference in helping your kid navigate sex and relationships throughout their life! The conversations you have with your child about bodies, sex, and relationships will help them stay safe and healthy as they grow up.

Here are more resources for you to use while you’re sheltering in place, or any time:

Planned Parenthood’s Guide for Parents

Tumblr Blog on Sex Education at Home

— Miriam at Planned Parenthood

[the-melting-world]

In light of the most recent Nix Hydra executive decision to erase Aisha Alnazar's Muslim coding from the Arcana Visual Novel Game, I just wanted make some things clear about what you can expect from me on the basis of accountability.

So anyway, NONE of my characters are white. I do my best to make changes as I discover problems with character portrayals because it happens, But. if you spot something genuinely harmful/hurtful/problemantic/etc in my writing, please let me know. My dms are always open. I've been taking constructive criticism for a long time. I'm not fragile. I also have a whole ass degree in English & Literature Education, so sitting around and objectively analyzing how fictional humans interact with each other comes second nature to me. That includes my own fictional humans. I put my stuff out there to connect with people in ways I otherwise couldn't, yes, but also to get better at connecting with people. Yes, I'm here to play with my fandom dolls in relative peace and dignified obscurity, but I also use this site to grow as a writer. Over the years, the non-black characters that I feel the most comfortable with are the ones who come from the ethnic/cultural groups that I've spent the most time with. The more I connect with people who are different from me, the easier and honestly, more rewarding writing becomes. I don't know what other people's reasons are for including diversity, but if it's not to give people a voice and shine a light on broader depictions of realism besides White People Problems then that's where you leave yourself vulnerable to running directly into the traps of tokenism, fetishization, exotification, etc.

I have also been in a situation before where I was approached about insensitive material in my writing! It happened once on a different free reading site. A reader reached out to me after reading something I wrote and informing me of its religious insensitivity. I talked to them, came up with a very simple solution and checked with them that make sure that it didn't aggravate the problem further. They thanked me, their reading experience was significantly improved, and I learned something important for the next time.

I bring this up to iterate the fact that someone challenging you on your art/writing is not the end of the world. Yes, sometimes people will go after you for stylistic decisions and call that criticism, but if you are trying to represent an Entire Culture, or even a very signficiant aspect of it, you need to do your research and you need to fucking listen to the people from that group.