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intheoryowl · 4 years ago

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Diversity in KOTLC

[While commenting on this post please don't post spoilers for Unlocked just yet. Thanks. This post may contain legacy spoilers. This post is a repost of my Wattpad post that I made in Sunflower Crown called Diversity in KOTLC, so if you’ve seen this already please feel free to skip it. This post lines up with MLK day, but it was originally posted in reaction to Shannon Messenger announcing the live action movies.]

[Edit: Okay, after typing this post up I realize that there are a few more characters that are POC, but they’re not prominent at all, so the representation is still miniscule. They were mentioned, like, twice throughout the entire series. So, my point still stands.]

What's one thing you notice about the photo above?

Oh, yeah. All the characters are white, expect for the last three in the photo, which are all conveniently tacked onto the end.

Let's address the elephant in the room for everyone in the Keeper of the Lost Cities fandom. Recently, I've been thinking a lot about how little diversity there is within the cast, especially within the main group. I've been meaning to make a post about this since the #BLM movement started up, but I never got around to it.

I've found that a lot of the people in the fandom have been incredibly shy about having this conversation, but I think it's really time we have it. The cast contains very little diversity.

Disclaimer: Before anyone comes at me for this post, I'd like to first say that I've been a huge KOTLC fan and a big fan of Shannon Messenger's work for a long time. This isn't meant to be any sort of hate post, but instead a conversation I think we all need to have.

Let's start with the format of the art up above^.

First of all, out of eight characters 3 of them are POCs (or not white). Wylie isn't even in the main group/doesn't really enter the story until much later in the series. The same goes for Linh and Tam. They're all tacked onto the end of the photo, like they're just add-ons.

These three characters are the only characters I know the race of that are POC characters. Out of the entire series. Yes, the entire series. [And I would say that's the case for most people that aren't superfans or recently phased out of the series before art was starting to be released.] I wouldn't say I'm the biggest fan out there, but there aren't that many prominent characters in KOTLC, and just about every single one of them is white.

It feels like a last-ditch throw in when Shannon Messenger went *oops I forgot about diversity entirely!!*. I mean, think about it. Tam, Linh, and Wylie entered the series later on than everyone else.

The lack of diversity, quite frankly, I find ridiculous. And not even just because there are three characters out of eight in that photo (one of which that is POC isn't even in the main group, nevermind the original main group) are POC, and prominent characters. Not only is there a lack of diversity when it comes to race/features that aren't white, but Shannon Messenger also includes exactly zero LGBTQ+ representation throughout the entire series. There is nothing hinted, nothing said. Gender norms are never addressed in the story, and that's fine. But for there to be no gay/pan/aro/ace/freaking anything on the spectrum representation?? No trans representation? Non-binary? Hello??? I get that when she started the series LGBTQ+ characters might not have been something you saw in every single book, but even as new characters are added in we see absolutely no LGBTQ+ representation still. There's not even anyone questioning their sexuality or their gender identity. Nowadays, that's not only a huge part of being a teenager (I would know, I'm one), but also just something you would think is key in the identity of a character.

As a writer, when I start writing a book, one of the first things I do is make sure I know who I want my characters to be. Gender identity, race, sexuality, all of this - these are such fundamental parts to a character. Truthfully, i don't understand how you could just overlook them whatsoever. It's a choice you have to make, not a default setting that's already been turned on for you. I think - even to someone incredibly racist - that as an author writing a book, one would be aware of the outward appearance of their characters? Or the fact that all of the characters had one very certain thing in common? It's hard to miss, frankly, and it looks really bad.

There's really no excuse for it at the end of the day. You can't explain away the facts, and the facts are that the lack of diversity within KOTLC is concerning.

With KOTLC as well, the book doesn't even center around identity for the most part. It's fantasy, and that's what runs the plot, not someone's struggles with race. It really would've been just that easy for Shannon Messenger to throw in a few POC characters or people that weren't straight, maybe mention it in passing, and be done with it and we wouldn't even be having this conversation.

Another thing I'd like to bring up is the microaggressive character arcs of Linh and Tam song, the only two out of the entire central friend group that are diverse characters. (they appear to have some sort of asian heritage, in case you never caught that. But I bet you did with their very distinctly Chinese last names.) When Tam and Linh first appear in the book, they're suspected delinquents and exiled for crimes to a school of people that have been outcasted from society. They're seen as outsiders. During the story, we see the both of them climbing their way up in the ranks through hard work & connections. unlike everyone else who is going to Foxfire from the start, and we don't see them as nobility at first at all. Not only do the twins come into the story late, but they start out being pinned as supposed criminals (for going to their school which they were wrongly exiled to) and being the underdogs.

Twins are also scorned and families in the Lost Cities with twins are highly stigmatized. Same thing, the only two Asian characters in the entire series and they're the ones who have to be scorned instead of the white ones.

I'm sorry, but that rubs me the wrong way. it seems incredibly microaggressive to me. You're telling me that the only two characters of color [in the main group] are portrayed this way by accident? You couldn't have chosen any one of your fourteen white characters to play the role? Please.

Also, this might be a reach, but is there colorism also present in the KOTLC cast? The type of Asian that Linh and Tam seem to be (Eastern - Chinese, Japanese, Korean, etc) have a very light skin tone. Throughout all of KOTLC, the only skin tone darker than white is Wylie's character, who is obviously African-American. There is no one that looks Latina [okay, there is, it's Jensi who was mentioned twice in the first two books and never again], a different kind of Asian, Romanian, Indian, Middle Eastern, nothing. Actually, you know what, it's not a reach. You're telling me that objectively based on facts, there is only one character out of the entire KOTLC universe that's skin tone is darker than paper? That's the standard?

To that I say: get outta here.

I'm not convinced that Shannon Messenger - as much as I love and adore her writing and her book series - ever truly cared about diversity and inclusivity among her characters. There's no representation other than straight, white, male, female, two Asians, and a single African American character (out of anyone who actually matters). That's it. Statistically speaking.

That's ridiculous.

[This is a later edit: someone in the comments also pointed out that the Lost Cities are located all over the world, meaning that having a mainly white cast also is whitewashing? This only gets worse the more you think about it, ugh.]

I understand that the majority of the KOTLC fanbase is very young. Believe me, I do. I'm probably one of the older fans that has been here for a while/still is here. Most people my age have moved on to fangirling over the Umbrella Academy or something. I get it. But I do believe that even twelve year olds can understand what I'm saying, stay informed, spread awareness, and think critically.

One of the reasons I think Shannon hasn't been called out nearly as much for the lack of diversity and representation in her stories is because she has such a young readerbase. That's fine. I don't expect people that are ten and twelve to be thinking about any of this. It never occurred to me at the age, so why would it occur to you unless someone else brought it up first?

That said, now that I have brought it up, I think that the least you can do is have conversations with your friends, tag a few people, and think critically about the casts of your favorite books/people you stan. If you're not speaking up, it makes you look like you don't care that there's absolutely zero representation and diversity in the KOTLC series. And you should care.

Keeper of the Lost Cities is a very white, straight series. What does this mean? It means that it's inherently racist, likely colorist, and not currently supportive of any LGBTQ+ people on any LGBTQ+ spectrum. People out there just like you (if you're white) aren't seeing themselves in stories or media. Instead, they're being told that only if you have European heritage or a lighter skin tone can you be a hero. It's harmful. And we need to speak out against it.

[Not to mention that there are no different body types. This post was just on core character identity, and nothing else. As my friend StickyCarpet put in a conversation, what about religions? Do all elves believe the same things? There's very little identity variation between characters beyond their personalities.]

The reason I want to speak out so strongly now, is because as you may know, KOTLC is being made into a live-action series of movies. On screen, it's going to be even more visible and in-your-face that there's no representation. You know what that says to everyone who wasn't represented at least a little bit (or well)? It says we don't see you because we don't approve of who you are, which is just such an awful message to send. In the movies, it's going to be super important for especially younger readers to see themselves on screen. I don't want these movies to just be another movie chock-full of straight white people. It's time for change. This was never something that should've been the standard, so we need to try extremely hard to change it.

By no means will that magically fix or amend the fact that Shannon Messenger chose to put just about zero diversity into the story in the first place, but it will at least show that she's trying beyond throwing a few new characters with different skin tones in after people start calling her out for it.

Keeper of the Lost Cities is my favorite or second favorite series, and it was (and always will be) a huge part of my childhood. I'm a huge fan of the series myself, but I want to make my opinion on this subject very clear and encourage you to form your own opinion on it. I don't have instagram or socials, but I do have a large platform on Wattpad to spread awareness with. Please spread the message.

Please, if you can, tag people from the fandom in the comments. Share this post. Reblog it on tumblr or post it on instagram. We need to get the conversation started. It's not enough to just sit here and pretend like we're all okay with the fact that the series we all love is grossly unrepresentative/not diverse.

In the external link, you will find a carrd leading to Ways to Help & be a part of the #BlackLivesMatter movement, including ways that don't involve money. In my bio, there's a link that goes to all crisis resources around the globe with links to causes. Please feel free to share and utilize both links.

Thank you very much for reading & (hopefully) spreading the message/awareness with me! Your favorite series and author(?) possibly being racist is something that's harder to come to terms with, even for me at my age, so please don't blame yourself for everything and just try to help as much as you can ♡

[Please feel free to reblog and repost on any platform anywhere as necessary. Spreading the message regardless is much appreciated!]

#diversity #KOTLC #movies #inclusivity #representation #LGBTQ+#racism #bookseries #fantasy

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pinkyshy101 · 4 years ago

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So I got bored and decided to type out a list of the cartoons/tv shows I’ve watched, cause why not! I think this is all I’ve watched, or at least recent enough (I’m thinking like…. 2014/15 onward, when I actively started to watch more cartoons)

It’s kinda long, and I’m kinda rambley, so I’ll put it under a keep reading thing (if I can) so you don’t have to scroll through that if you don’t want to. Idk who will actually read this, but hey maybe it’s an idea of what kind of things I might reblog on here! I’m always taking any suggestions for shows to watch, I love learning about and watching more and more cartoons! So if there’s something I didn’t list as something I watched and you think of be interested, feel free to please recommend it! I may update this with a reblog or an edit or something at some point in the future, idk though. For now, its September 19, 2020, and here’s what I got for ya

This ended up way more rambley than I meant for it to be but I started writing it at maybe 12:30ish am and now its almost 2am when I’m getting ready to post it so oops 👀 I’m not really expecting anyone to read this but hey, it’s something! Read if you wanna know what shows and other stuff I watched lol idc

Cartoons I’ve watched in their entirety (or what’s all aired as of today 9/19/20):

(updated 12/2/20 as starting with ATLA)

Gravity Falls - watched since late 2014

Steven Universe (including the movie and Future) - watched since mid June 2015, right before the second stevenbomb/sworn to the sword (early season 2)

Over The Garden Wall - watched back around when it first came out, can’t remember exactly when but sometime in 2015

Star vs The Forces of Evil - watched the first 2 seasons as they aired, then stopped watching for a while and rewatched the whole show in June 2019

Hilda - watched for the first time in I think October 2018, rewatched in May quarantine

She-ra and the Princesses of Power - watched all 5 seasons about/not even a week after season 5 came out, idk why I waited so long to watch it

The Owl House - started watching it after the grom episode aired, idk why I waited so long to watch it but molly and noelle and everyone was screaming about grom on twitter, so of course I had to watch it then

Kipo and The Age of Wonderbeasts - watched it all in early August, right before I watched The Owl House

Infinity Train - watched the pilot back in 2016, then the first season when it came out, but then I started college and didn’t get the chance to watch the 2nd/3rd season until I decided to watch the whole series (s1 again, 2/3 for the first time) this past week

Ouran High School Host Club - ok I know it’s anime not a cartoon and I can’t see myself reblogging anything from it but it’s literally the only anime I’ve watched more than like 1 or 2 episodes of/the only one I’ve seen in its entirety so I figured eh I’ll mention it

Camp Camp - I almost forgot to mention this one! I started watching it when there was I think only 3 episodes of season 1, so back in 2016, and I’ve loved it since then! I guess this summer’s season couldn’t happen cause of covid.... But I’m still excited for when/if it does eventually come out!

Avatar the Last Airbender

Shows that I’ve partially watched but not completely:

We Bare Bears - I’ve seen the first 2 seasons, maybe some of the third I can’t remember, I watched it when it first came out but I haven’t watched it in a while, so I would probably need to rewatch a bunch of it (I did rewatch I think the first season sometime this year? But it was while working on school projects so I wasn’t giving it my full attention), apparently there’s also a movie now???

My Little Pony Friendship is Magic - I was huge into the brony fandom from roughly 2013ish-2017ish, I’ve seen up to season 8 and a few episodes of season 9, and the 4 equestria girls movies, and the mlp movie; I probably know seasons 1 - 4 the most, maybe a little of 5, 6 and 7 are kinda fuzzy but I’ve seen them, 8 I watched over quarantine (since it’d been a few years since I had watched any of it, I also rewatched bits of 5-7) as well as I think the first episode or so of season 9, but I don’t remember them too well. I watched the movie (the pony one, not eqg) when it came out in theaters, and not too long after that I drifted away from the mlp fandom (tbh I was drifting a little bit before it came out, but I knew I had to stick in there at least until it came out since I had been waiting for so long for it). The equestria girls movies, I saw them all when they first came out (I even saw rainbow rocks in the theater). I think there’s like, half hour shorts or episodes or something?? That’s in the eqg universe?? But I don’t think I’ve seen any of them, and if I have it was probably a really early one a long time ago because I haven’t really kept up with anything after Legend of Everfree came out

Animaniacs reboot - I’ve seen the first 5 episodes and it’s nice!

Shows that I’ve only seen an episode or few of that I (probably) intend on continuing to watch:

Glitch Techs - I saw the first episode! Definitely want to continue it

Rick and Morty - I watched a few episodes of the first season in like March/April quarantine, but I was still dealing with online school at home finishing out last semester then. I think I want to watch this eventually, but I have other shows that I want to catch up on/watch before I’d get to this one

Tangled the Series - idk if that’s the name I’ve seen multiple names but I hope you know what I’m talking about, I saw a handful of episodes from the first season I think sometime around fall 2019, but I’d probably have to rewatch the whole thing

Adventure Time - I’ve never had cable/cartoon network so I didn’t watch this growing up, but I’ve heard really good things about it and seen a bunch of stuff from it (I’d have to be living under a rock to have not seen anything lol) but it’s so long and I just haven’t gotten around to it yet! Well I’ve seen maybe a dozen or so episodes of the first season but it was a while ago so I’d have/want to start over probably

Shows I haven’t started

Amphibia - I’ve heard it’s good! I just haven’t gotten around to it yet

Avatar the Last Airbender - probably next on my list to watch, I’ve been meaning to watch it for years but I haven’t yet, its on Netflix now so that should make it easier to watch and a friend from school made me promise that this would be the next one I’d watch so that’s what I’m doing (I did watch the last 2 seasons of infinity train that night though, since I was really wanting to finish it first… But atla is next) watched it! (updated 12/2/20)

The Legend of Korra - obviously I’m waiting to watch it until after alta, and I’m probably going to watch it right after I finish atla

The Dragon Prince - idk really anything about it other than I think it’s on netflix? and apparently it’s good and maybe gay idk but I’ve heard it’s good thus why it’s on here lol

Black Horseman - idk too too much about this other than apparently it’s good but also kinda depressing. Similarly to rick and morty I want to watch it eventually but its not insanely high on my list

OK KO - don’t know a ton about it other than it’s decent, a step up from r+m/bojack on where I want to watch it but not urgently

Ducktales Reboot - similarly to OK KO, don’t know much about it other than it’s decent, same level of want to watch

Milo Murphy’s Law - saw a couple episodes when it came out, haven’t watched it in forever so if I ever do want to rewatch it I’d have to restart it, not super high on my priority list though

Bee and Puppycat - another one I almost forgot! I don’t know a ton about this but I’ve heard its nice! Plus from what I’ve seen I like the artstyle so 👀 maybe someday

Animaniacs (original) - I started to watch the reboot and I think I want to watch the original eventually! Just haven’t gotten around to it yet

Clone High - listen it’s not that I desperately WANT to watch this, I just have friends who are like, hey, watch this lol it’s apparently not super long so why not

Other non cartoon shows I’ve watched:

Brooklyn 99 - idk when I started watching it, maybe around season 4/5ish? I think sometime in 2018 so idk the season, idk, most of the episodes I’ve only seen once so I couldn’t tell you exactly what happens in every episode but I still like it

Rise - ugh I miss this show, I started watching it after/around when the 3rd episode came out (end of March 2018?), and I don’t think I’ve watched any of it since it ended (mid may 2018) cause its not on any streaming services anymore :/ at least not that I know of but I loved it and would love to rewatch it

Andi Mack - I’d heard it was good but hadn’t watched it after it ended (early august 2019 I think I watched it), haven’t rewatched it since then but it was decent, I mainly watched it cause I had seen clips of gay but yknow it was alright

Sex Education - watched 1st season sometime in 2019, when rewatched it/watched season 2 when it came out January 2020, this is like WAY more mature than like anything on this list but like it has an interesting story

Love Victor - watched first/currently only season when it came out mid june 2017 (how was June so long ago what)

Queer Eye - I’ve seen a couple seasons of it idk I figured why not add it lol

Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist - I think I watched this around when there were maybe a few episodes of season 1 left (well there’s only one season now but still), idk I liked it cause like musicals and stuff idk

Idk what else to add to this section but if I think of anything (to any category on this list) I’ll probably update it later maybe idk (again I’m not necessarily going to be reblogging stuff from all/any of these but like, I figured I’d mention it cause idk)

Musicals:

Another thing I love is musicals, like I’m a design/tech major in college rn so yeah I like theatre lol so I’m going to list some I’ve seen (mostly watched bootlegs of, but I’ll list some professional/tour ones I’ve seen in person)(but if it doesn’t say anything special I probably just watched a bootleg, 2017 was a big year for me and my google drive being filled with bootlegs…) This might not be all of them and I won’t go into as much detail (I hope, I haven’t typed it yet) but we’ll see:

Broadway tours I’ve seen: (I swear this isn’t bragging they were cheap seats way up high lol)

Dear Evan Hansen (May 2019)

Wicked (first professional show I saw, October 2017, haven’t watched a bootleg or anything of it since then and I went in completely blind)

Mean Girls (November 2019, last professional show I saw before quarantine)

Come From Away (September 2019)

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (November 2018)

The Book of Mormon (August 2018, was hoping to again this August but quarantine :( )

Non professional/high school/college/other shows I’ve seen in person/been on crew for (not all of them, but some) (assume I’ve also seen bootlegs/proshots if there are any)

Newsies

Spring Awakening (spot op)

Shrek (props)

Legally Blonde

I’ve seen done way more but I don’t feel like listing them or that they’re anything I’d want go reblog/actively look at fandom content for (that’s not saying it reblog stuff from shrek the musical but still lol)

Other shows I’ve seen only in proshot/bootleg form:

Basically every Starkid show

Spies are Forever

The Solve it Squad

Hamilton

Heathers

Be More Chill (yes I was in that big amalgamation of musical fandom stuff with these and deh in 2017 aaaa)

Falsettos

Beetlejuice

Spongebob

21 Chump Street

Les Mis

Phantom

(Again maybe not necessarily all but some there’s a slight chance I might reblog things about)

Musicals I still need/want to watch/listen to:

The Prom

Six

The Great Comet (not typing it all out)

Hadestown

Waitress

Bonnie and Clyde

Something Rotten

Tuck Everlasting

Again there’s more I want to see I’m sure but I haven’t really watched bootlegs in a while…. Idk feel free to suggest shows tho

Movies I’ve seen/like: obviously I’m not gonna just every single movie I’ve seen but heres a few I like:

The Sound of Music

The Wizard of Oz - these 2 have actually always been my favorite movies since I was little, I can’t dee myself reblogging much of anything about them but figured I’d mention them cause why not

Love Simon

Some but not all Disney movies (I grew up with no cable/mostly just pbs)

Most pixar movies?

I don’t think John Mulaney shows count as movies but eh whatever I’ve seen them on netflix

Idk what else lol I know I’ve seen more movies than this but eh

If anyone actually read all of this... Wow I’m surprised honestly lol have a free cookie or something for your struggles or smth, idk, thanks for reading this though lol I appreciate you (but also slightly worry, this was a lot of words and a lot of rambling)

#long post #me #personal #really long post

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johnparry · 5 years ago

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Lord Asriel as a parent

I was trying to work out how Lord Asriel of LBS became.. yknow and I have come to the conclusion that his love/affection is heavily rooted in his pride. Pride is his backbone.

The Lord Asriel of La Belle Sauvage was so fiercely protective of Lyra because of the unique situation he was in at that point. He’s just lost all of his land, wealth, status - he was probably born into aristocracy after all, and he’s going to be livid and all the more protective of what is his and Lyra falls firmly in that bracket. He’s going to be mad at Mrs Coulter for whatever she said in his trial (can bet she manipulated it to her advantage) so there’s no way in heck he’s going to concede Lyra to her.

He’s in the mindset of ‘that’s my child’ but with the emphasis heavily on my.

Side note but perhaps his vendetta against Heaven is born partly of a grudge against the Church for stripping all his wealth away? Or was his grand plan already in action and losing his money just spurred him on?

The Lantern Slides say that Lyra’s photo gets sent to Asriel every year. The appendix version says that he carries her photo with him and that he’s evidently proud of her when talking to John Parry. He’s evidently fond of her but I think an element of that is ‘look at this stubborn grumpy child, doesn’t she take after me?’ When he does visit, he’s very much in the uncle role he’s created for himself. He doesn’t need her to love him. He doesn’t want to get to know her properly. It’s enough to know that she takes after him - fierce, adventurous, insolent towards authority. He’s stern towards her but underlying that is a current of amusement you know? Like haha, of course my child is just as feral as I am/was.

And when he learns about Lyra’s role in the grand scheme of things, it’s again that ‘look what I created’ pride. He’s proud that his child would have such a crucial role. I think for him, he cares about people in the way that they’re ‘his’ and if what they do makes him proud/happy, it’s because it’s a reflection on his taste and influence. I think it heavily weighs in his relationship with Mrs Coulter too. When she doesn’t go with him, he’s disappointed with her lack of courage. When she outwits him (or thinks she has), he’s amused and proud.

Anyway, I don’t know what to conclude this ramble with but snow leopards and ruthless solitary pride go well together in my opinion.

Edit: I oop- Evidently put this in the drafts for a reason, I forgot to add the key quote that spurred this: “My daughter!” cried Lord Asriel, exulting. “Isn’t it something to bring a child like that into the world? [...] - did they know what they were taking on when my daughter got involved?”

#yenna.txt #his dark materials #found this in my drafts #think i wanted to add quotes but nvm #feel free to share ur takes #asriel's personality is v interesting #so love hearing others' opinions on him!#hdm spoilers #i mean the whole blog is but #as a precaution for putting stuff in the tag

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livcbles-blog · 6 years ago

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MATTHEW DADDARIO ╱ CISMALE ╱ HE/HIM –- we haven’t seen the beginning of JASPER GRAY’s story yet. when in a pinch, the 31 year old would choose FLIGHT –- which isn’t a surprise since their -ANXIOUS & -PESSIMISTIC side tends to outshine their +EMPATHETIC & +PERCEPTIVE nature. originally from BROOKLYN, NEW YORK, it’s best we steer clear of someone who believes STEALING FROM THE DEAD IS BAD LUCK in this current time. we’ll hopefully see more of the CIRCUMSPECT–- depending on what they choose.

hello hello! my name is cassie and i’ll be writing for ya favorite new york based chef, jasper. i’m super excited to meet you all and get to know your characters! below is some basic information about mine and if you’d like to plot give this a like or shoot me an im! ( tw: depression & anxiety ) EDIT: i forgot to add i made a pinterest board for him oops anyway you can find it here if you’re interested.

alright so jas was born and raised in brooklyn. his dad was a navy enlistee and his mother was a waitress at her parents’ italian restaurant. he had a pretty happy childhood overall; his family wasn’t wealthy but they were relatively comfortable and everybody cared for everybody else.

he fell in love with cooking at a young age with his grandmother and he spent a lot of his free time working at the restaurant, as well. after he graduated high school he got into the program at the international culinary center. from there he was up and running.

he studied under and with some of the best chefs in the world and he won grants and scholarships to travel and learn about international food and cooking. he became a master of fusion cooking and found it was a beautiful way of bringing together people and cultures in a divided world.

despite his massive success, the anxiety and depression he struggled with throughout high school got worse the longer he was away from his family. he became great at compartmentalizing his struggles but when he sat down by himself he found himself in a really difficult place.

SO he returned home to new york to be near his family and take a shot at opening his own restaurant for the first time. he got a job as a head chef at one of his mentor’s restaurants and saved every single penny he got.

it was during that time that he got married to a guy named nathan and that lasted all of two years when jas found out that nathan was cheating on him with a mutual friend. they divorced and he threw himself into his work for a whole year. then jasper decided he needed a break before opening his restaurant. that’s why he made his way out to cali. he wanted to visit his sister and have a breather.

he was actually stuck in an elevator at the mall when the alert went off but after he got out he made his way over to the police station bc he was a lil concerned about there being sick people at the hospital. plus emergencies meant rioting and he’d be safe with the police, right?

extras:

personality-wise he’s a super nice guy. like the type of person people gravitate towards bc he’s like human sunshine. he always has a smile ready for everybody and he lives to make people laugh.

he loves writing, reading, and origami. whenever he sees a little kid that’s upset he 100% makes them a little figure to cheer them up.

food is his life. through every difficulty he’s gone through, getting in the kitchen and experimenting has helped him through it. it’s his way of expressing himself, love, and happiness.

he always carries a notebook with him. he writes thoughts, journal entries, short stories, poem, and does little sketches. he has to keep his mind going or he falls into a rut really easily.

his anxiety and depression are still massive problems in his life. he’s good at throwing on a happy face but the minute he slows down it’s hard to get going again. he has meds for them rn but i imagine those will run out pretty quickly.

you can take the boy from brooklyn but not brooklyn from the boy. his accent is definitely recognizable.

basically a sad teddy bear. he never wants anybody worrying about him and he’s always ready to lend a helping hand wherever it’s needed.

oh he can also play the piano and guitar bc his dad taught him when he was little and his singing is like a solid A-

he’s very, very clever and he has a way of thinking about and doing things that makes him come off as very chaotic?? but he always ends up ok and that’s the important part. he is definitely chaotic good.

#surviveintro.#phew finally done

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stresslitzia · 6 years ago

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Mini art tutorial!

Hi! I’m currently drawing some characters of mine, so I want to show you guys how my art process runs! This tutorial works in both FireAlpaca and Paint Tool Sai, and I’ll explain how it translates. The post will be long, so click on below!

For those who just want to see the finished product, here you are!

Alright! So, first, I try to think of some references I already have for the character. For these, I’m translating images done on bases into images of my own. Furthermore, these images go from animal to human!

So right now, this is her ‘reference.’ Mostly. Base credits to Starwuff on DeviantART, by the way! That links directly to the base

Now, how... how do you translate the above image into a HUMAN?

It’s simple, really. Even if you’re... uh... bad at people.

Step one, think about the character. What are they like? Is there a pose that suits them? Can you not think of one, but you can think of a character who acts or looks like them? Yes?

Great!

Look up references for THAT character. Wiki, HD images, etc. For Lena, I go to @kingdomheartsinhd and look for images of Kairi. That search turns up this image:

(you can find that here)

Now, this image absolutely SCREAMS Lena at me. Especially the face. I love that expression. So I copy it, and paste it into FireAlpaca, onto a 6x8 inch canvas(6inch wide, 8inch tall), then transform it to the proper scale.

I’d show this part, but I’ve already sketched over it. Obviously, that’s the next step! Figure out where things go, what does what, and sketch away!

Don’t mind the off look of everything, it gets fixed. I use a pencil brush to sketch in FireAlpaca, but a 70% opacity colored pen brush works just as well for PTS. I recommend coloring smaller details differently, like how the right hand is pink to show that it needs more detail, how the ears and tail are blue to show that they don’t need as much.

After doing that, move on to working on the outfit. Open a new layer(you can see layer3 there, that’s where you’ll be sketching the outfit). Like with the body, everything should be sketched a different color!

The main body sketch is still there, but greatly reduced. Next, on the same layer or separate, I’d draw the hairstyle. I recommend doing this twice so you have an idea of what fits the character, especially if you’ve never drawn them before. I’ve drawn her before on paper, so I’ve already got a firm idea. This is also, in her case, a perfect time to draw in the facial details.

Yes I am aware her right eye is missing. This brings us to linework! Drag everything up to 100% opacity and switch to whatever tool you use best! If you use FireAlpaca, I recommend pen, and if you’re on PTS, just use a linework layer. Make a layer for your lines above everything, set your brush to 100% black and about 18 pixels,0% min width, and get to work!

Lines always look weird on my drawings. It’s the outfits, I swear. Anyway, on FireAlpaca, you can use the wand tool to select things. Tolerance should be between 10 and 25(mine’s at 21). I can’t recall if you can do the same on PTS or not, but oh well. While we’re here, go look for the flesh cloud! You’ll need the flesh cloud! You’re on Tumblr anyway. Go find it. Just select everything you don’t want colored, flip it, and fill the whole thing on a new layer, then lock it.

You’ll want to start with the most detailed part of the design. Here’s what it looks like right now.

((Side note: If you’re like me and leave shirt designs for last, but love graphic tees and self-reflection, use the brush select tool to safely pattern your shirts, or whatever else you like! Scatter brushes are also great!))

Gradients also work well with the select tool...

And it’s not just clothing I use the gradient tool for, either...

This was done with two layers, one set to overlay and merged down. It was also edited to make it a bit more opaque.

This is the final color pattern. Now, these pieces.... they have shading. Minimal shading is necessary, but more shading = more depth to the image, making the pose look better. Take a very light grey and shade it! I usually shade with the light source from the right.

I forgot to screenshot the process, oops! But you’ll take a light grey, a dark grey, and another light grey. Use the first two to shade, the third to light. Copy the color layer, set it to clipping and overlay, then put them above a multiply(shading) and add(lighting, I think Luminescence works for Sai) layer. Then merge them together and set them to clip again.

Now sign the piece, maybe name the character, and save the image. I recommend both a layered file and a PNG, for obvious reasons!

And...

Voila!

In review, sketch with a pencil, have an idea, make it look halfway decent through time and effort. This took me about six hours.

#art #original character #I can not be bothered to tag too much #there's a KH3 screenshot in there so if that bugs you don't look #it's pretty early on #but still #art tutorial #I guess #long post #can you tell I'm tired of this

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lamiaward · 6 years ago

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What happens when two (disaster) lesbians decide to raise a dragon together

I don’t own the Worst Witch. This only took me a million years to write oops sorry. I had reasons though! One of the reasons is the scene where Hecate accuses Pippa of liking to hear inappropriate comments when said by a certain type of wizard- I am going to explain a bit more about that at the end of all this, which you don’t have to read but I do think it is important.

I hope you enjoy! Also there is another installation of this (another reason it took me a while to finish) that I still need to edit but hopefully will post soon.

This is the reason Hecate feared that deciding to raise a dragon with Pippa Pentangle might be the worst idea she could ever make apart from deciding to join Agatha (and even then, there would at least be the chance that they would be able to stem the decline of the Craft at least). This utter frivolity, this quick demolishing of her reputation, this familiar sensation in her chest and stomach and other places in her body at Pippa’s bright smile-

She grits her teeth. “ Miss Pentangle. Would you care to explain why there is a dragon tangled up in my hair?”

“They missed you. And you know Khry loves your hair as much as I love the colour pink”

“ Yes. About.. that. Are you the reason they are that offensive shade of pink ?”Again. She attempts to glare at both of them, but even she is incapable of removing her eyeballs temporarily to glare not just at her best friend, but at a hyperalert dragon (or perhaps she could, in theory, but she does not care to find out if it would work in practise) which is currently several shades of horrible, improper pink as well.

Khry chirps happily, and she has to suppress a winch when their nails nearly cut into her skull ( she makes a mental note to spell them or herself and Pippa so they cannot hurt either of them).

Pippa laughs. “ You cannot fault them for having great taste”

“ Miss Pentangle, you and I disagree on- “

“Many things, and I know very well what your opinion on my favourite colour is He- miss Hardbroom”

Pippa whistles. “ Khry, stop bothering miss Hardbroom during classes”

Khry makes a low growling sound and Hecate doesn’t quite manage to suppress a wince this time. “ is there a reason in particular they are attacking my head?”

Pippa frowns. “ That is odd. Your hair hardly resembles- “ her face brightens, and she shakes her head. “ They must be annoyed that your hair is not down, remember when-“

Hecate is relieved that Pippa remembers the students watching them curiously in time, and does not reveal more than Hecate would be comfortable with. “ My hair will stay this way Khry, now remove yourself from it”

Khry shrieks, and several girls scream when a vial suddenly explodes and eyeballs go everywhere. Hecate vanishes them with an irritable wave of her hand. Khry chirps and she feels their claws dig into her skin as they seem to be trying to get her hair down.

“ Stop that this instant” she chides.

Khry growls again, and pokes her with their tail before finally jumping away from her and landing on Pippa’s shoulder, to curl around her neck and flash an angry green at Hecate.

“ Stop behaving like a spoiled child” she tells the dragon, before turning to her students. “ And you, return to your potions this instant. The instructions are not merely gentle suggestions, and every witch worth her cauldron would know not to have such abysmal focus while brewing ”

Khry purrs, and Hecate follows them with her eyes when they clumsily fly over to a certain girl with two braids, who immediately makes an excited noise and pets the dragon as it lands on her shoulder. “Mildred Hubble, stop… frolicking and focus on your potion instead”

Mildred stirs her potion, but doesn’t stop smiling brightly. “ Your dragon is so pretty miss Pentangle, how old are they?”

“ Thank you, I think so too” she glares playfully at Hecate, who ignores her pointedly and instead walks towards the students that are , predictably, showing a new level of ineptitude.

“They are nearly six months now”

Khry glows a gentle pink again, wrapping their tail around a potion ingredient and offering it to Mildred. “Oh thanks! I almost forgot” she adds it , stirs, then smiles at Pippa again. “So are they still a baby?”

“ Dragons have a longer lifespan than humans, and mature slower, so yes they are still a baby. As you can see, they are still learning how to fly”

Mildred smiles at Khry. “ That’s okay, I am still learning as well”

Khry chirps again and hops forward until they are curled around Mildred’s arm instead. “Uh Miss Pentangle, how do I- “

Hecate marches over to them, detangling Khrys from Mildred. They immediately turn a poisonous shade of green again, and Hecate glares at them. “Desist this behaviour”

Mildred sighs. “Thanks, miss Hardbroom”

“Miss Hardbroom, is it not cheating that that dragon helped Mildred with her potion?” Ethel suddenly says.“ After all, witches should be able to create a simple potions themselves instead of always relying on others, should they not?”

Before Hecate can answer, Pippa does. “ You are right, but if you study the Code carefully, you will note that witches are also encouraged to cooperate. It does not matter how powerful or capable a witch is if she is unable to work with other witches, especially others which are part of her coven”

“But- “

“That is enough. You would be a better witch if you focused as much on your potion as you do on your fellow students, Ethel Hallow”

Ethel looks furious, and opens her a mouth before paling slightly when Hecate looks at her and muttering something as she focuses on her potion again. Khry chirps again and struggles in Hecate’s arms, turning a very ugly shade of green.

Hecate nearly flinches when Pippa suddenly touches her arm. “ Miss Pentangle, why are you still here?”

Pippa smiles. “I have an appointment with miss Cackle, but she is unavailable right now. And it is very educational to watch a renowned potion mistress such as yourself teach”

She scratches Khry under their chin, who curls around Hecate’s arm happily and turns a slightly better shade of green. “ And then there is this stubborn creature”

“ Yes, perhaps you should install more discipline and respect in them”

“I believe their other parent has already taken that difficult task upon them” she says lightly, then smirks. “Besides, I believe there are things that are far more important than discipline”

“ Discipline is extremely important, especially when it comes to young dragons- “

“ Yes, but they should also learn how to make friends, or how to react to other creatures in general”

Hecate throws her a look. They have had this discussion several times already. “ I suppose- Khry”

The dragon has crawled up Hecate’s arm, and is now viciously attempting to get her hair down again. It chirps, but it doesn’t sound happy or playful, or even as though they are laughing at you.

Mildred bites her lip, looking up from her potion. “Uhm miss? Would it really be so terrible if you let them play with your hair? They sound really sad”

“ I do not expect you to understand the importance of discipline, but I can hardly give them what they want every time” Hecate snaps. Khry pokes her neck with their tail, hisses lowly. “ Additionally, it would be not just unpractical but unsafe to wear my hair down as I teach, for multiple reasons”

Khry howls lowly.

“But they sound like they are in pain!” Mildred protests

“ Dragons are notoriously dramatic Milly, don’t worry” Enid says, throwing an arm around her friend. “ They will literally howl when they get a thorn in their foot, even though their scales are very tough. They’re probably just a little grumpy, but that’s it”

She whistles sharply, causing Khry’s head to snap up. They immediately chirp again, glowing a bright pink for a moment before fading to dark green again. “ See? They just want you to pay attention to them, they’re fine”

Khrys paws at Hecate’s hair again as she walks around the room, occasionally jumping on a witch’s shoulder or even racing around the room and curling around jars or perking atop cauldron’s. The girls laugh as they race up legs, curl around shoulders and jump from one witch to another, completely ignoring Hecate’s scolding.

There is only one witch they like to stay with, accepting very quick pats and sometimes offering a quick nibble, but Mildred is the only one where they perch on her shoulder and watch her brew. Hecate throws a look during Pippa, as if to say now see what you have done but Pippa never stops smiling.

Hecate finally deigns to ignore the dragon, walking around the room to scold the room (more frequently even than usual ; the dragon is distracting them terribly) , drawl instructions and sometimes grab wrists to keep them from adding an ingredient that would have disastrous results. Khry finally abandons Mildred and her friends to jump on Hecate’s shoulder and climb down to curl around her watch.

They stay there until the end of the lesson, pretending to ignore everyone as the girls gather around at the end of the lesson to watch the dragon and ask a million questions.

“ What kind of dragon are they , miss Pentangle?”

“They are a frostborn species, although we are not completely sure which. They are too young to be able to tell, truly”

“Where did you get them?”

“I found them in the mountains”

“Where are their parents? “

Pippa hesitates, then gently says “They are gone. Their parent did not survive an attack”

There is the expected gasps and some girls even have to hold on to each other to not cry. “That is terrible”

“Why would someone do that?”

“Are they going to be punished?”

“If we are able to find the people responsible, then yes they shall be punished”

“ Are you going to keep them forever?”

“Khry will stay with me as long as they wish to, so I am not certain. But presumably, yes”

“ Why do they change colour like that?”

“They protect themselves that way, but they also use it to show their displeasure or happiness with things”

Khry turns a very bright pink to demonstrate, jumping at Pippa and curling around the neckline of her robes. They purr loudly, turning a pretty pink a shade lighter than her robes. Some girls gasp, while others coo ( and some retreat even more , nearly stumbling over their own feet).

Pippa turns towards the two or three girls huddled in the corner, staring at Khry with wide eyes. “Khry would never harm you girls, don’t be frightened”

Khry slowly uncurl themselves from their warm spot half inside Pippa’s robe, stretching their wings before jumping into the air and soaring towards the frightened witches clumsily. They bang into a cauldron, two of the three witches jumping back but one freezing and staring at the dragon. Khry slowly extends their neck, the witch staring at them.

“ Their neck is so long”

“It is quite usual for a dragon to be able to extend their neck like this”

The girl swallows, and very carefully reaches for Khry. Before she reaches them, the dragon buts their head gently against her hand. She laughs. “They’re kind of soft!”

Pippa slowly walks towards them, pointing at the scales on top of Khry’s head. “Their scales are generally used for protection, so they are incredibly sharp and very tough. But because they are still very young, they have yet to truly become sharp, and even feel distinctly as though they were fur instead”

Another girl takes a step towards the purring dragon. “Do they only purr when they’re happy, miss Pentangle?”

“ Oh, no they purr for many reasons. When they are terrified or sleepy- “ Pippa laughs “ Whenever they are falling asleep, they tend to seek out the coldest spot, and purr themselves to sleep”

Mildred takes a step closer, and Khry’s eyes immediately shoot open. They chirp, turning an even brighter pink and jumping into Mildred’s arms. She laughs. “Wow, you can jump far” she tells them.

Pippa walks over to Mildred, offering her hand for Khry to use as a sort of scratching post. “ You have a gift with them, Mildred. They are usually a bit shy, although they – “ she glances at Hecate, smiling mischievously at her “certainly have a flair for the dramatics”

“That’s odd “ Maud suddenly says, frowning a little bit. She straightens from where she is leaning against Mildred, petting Khry very carefully. “ I have a greataunt who knows a lot about magical creatures and she told me that frostborn dragons usually cannot be drawn to you with games and such the way some other species of dragons can”

Pippa smiles fondly. “ Well, I suppose they learned it from their other parent”

“ Other parent?” Felicity questions. She appears to fight with herself for a moment before very slowly, while seemingly holding her breath, approaching the small group around Khry. “ What do you – uhm” she glances at Khry, then at miss Hardbroom, then miss Pentangle and sighs “what do you mean, miss Pentangle?”

Pippa frowns at her; all the other girls are crowding around Khry now, chattering excitedly, but Felicity keeps a wary distance. “ Well, on the occasion that dragons have to be adopted by witches, they – “

Khry flings their tail, the scales moving and the beginning of sharp needle-like protrusions poking through the holes. Felicity stumbles and grabs hold of Pippa’s cape. “ Are you all right, darling?” she questions.

Felicity bits her lips, flushing. She averts her eyes, then glances at Pippa again. “I- it is just, uhm” she stutters.

“You can tell me” Pippa prompts, before glancing at the other witches ( they’re all distracted; even Ethel has let go of some of her haughtiness, and has moved closer to Khry) “ If you do not wish to tell me with the others around, we can leave the room for a bit”

“No, it’s just that I uhm – “ Felicity takes a deep breath, tugging on one of her braids nervously. “ I don’t really like dragons. I was bitten by a very pretty pink one when I was young and now I don’t really like them”

“Do you need me to take Khry away?”

“You don’t have to do that, miss Pentangle” Felicity blushes even more “ I am sorry I don’t like your dragon, they’re very pretty and cute , I just- “

“ It is all right to be afraid, darling. I am afraid of some things as well, you know”

Felicity relaxes slightly “What – are you – uh “she stammers, then stares at her feet. Pippa pretends not to notice that the girl is nervous for more reasons than the dragon behind them.

“What am I afraid of?” when Felicity nods shyly , Pippa laughs. “ Many things, I can assure you. I might already be quite old, but – “

“ Oh no, you’re beautiful miss Pentangle” Felicity says, her eyes widening “ You are the most beautiful witch like ever “

Pippa laughs again. “Thank you, that is very kind of you. I have never gotten over my dislike for darkness – I am fine when I am with other people, but I do dislike it when I have to travel when it is already dark outside” she sighs. “It is a pity, I love stargazing”

Before Felicity can say anything, they’re interrupted by a shriek coming from behind them. Pippa immediately rushes towards the table, although Hecate gets there first.

“Ethel Hallow, that is quite enough” Ethel stares at her, cradling her hand.

“But it bit me “ she protests.

“That is no reason to use them in a game of witchball, as you seemed intent on doing “ Hecate snaps at her, causing Ethel to deflate for a moment before her expression shifts again.

“Why is there a dragon in our classroom anyways ? My parents would never allow for something like that to just- “

“ Ethel. Hallow” Hecate’s tone is poisonous enough that it shuts up even Ethel Hallow. She almost gulps, then takes a deep breath and opens her mouth-

“But miss- “

“ De- “ Hecate waits a beat, then finishes in a drawling voice “ tention”

“For what?” Ethel practically shrieks.

“ The witches’ Code forbids the harming of animal, using magic or force of hand- “ Hecate’s eyes snap to the hand in question accusingly- “ and it is a pathetic witch indeed who would ever harm an animal for merely defending itself “

Ethel finally keeps silent, biting her lip. Usually, Pippa would scold Hecate for being too stern perhaps, for bringing a girl to tears- but she knows Ethel’s sort. She knows even Hecate would not be able to stop her behaviour, that she will only hide that behaviour better or have Hecate’s behaviour twisted into something that is altogether horrible and very not true (more than one teacher had fallen prey to Ursula Hallow’s vicious lies, although far more had cherished her even when they knew what sort she was).

Still, perhaps something can still be done. She thinks all of this in a second, then steps forward and whistles. Khry’s head snaps up and they take a few uncertain steps in her direction before doing the predictable thing and driving their claws in the thick material of Hecate’s dress.

The girls all hold their breath for a moment, before Hecate slowly bends down and scoops Khry in her arms. They chirp weakly, a pale grey and Pippa spots the skin of Hecate’s hand already reddening, and a few girls rub their arms and shiver.

“Why is it so cold suddenly? “ someone whispers.

Pippa takes a few steps towards Hecate, until they’re standing side-to-side and both looking at Ethel. She looks up at them, something ugly in her eyes for a moment even if they still glint with tears.

“ You would think someone with a sister as brilliant as Esmeralda Hallow would know better than to ever… carelessly harm a magical creature, especially a young, inexperienced one”

Just before Ethel is transferred by Hecate, Pippa spots it. The way Ethel stiffens, the way she clenches her fists and every single soft feeling disappears from her eyes. Her sister. Pippa locks away the information, makes a mental note to slyly make Hecate tell her a little bit more about it ( she knows who Esmeralda is, of course, as she is clearly one of Hecate’s favourites no matter how much Hecate would deny having favourites in the first place, but she has heard precious little about whatever issues her little sister Ethel has with her).

“Walk to your next lesson quietly, girls, I will not allow any rambunctious behaviour” Hecate instructs them, watching carefully as the girls shuffle past her and out the door. As soon as the last one has left, she carefully places Khry on a table. They try to jump back in her arms but Hecate gently pushes them back.

“Patience” she murmurs, snapping her fingers. She mixes the potion with steady hands but Pippa can nearly feel the anger radiating from her. She glances between the two; the dragon still curled up on itself, a sad grey, and the witch muttering beneath her breath, quite possibly threatening arson to a child.

She scoops up Khry, pressing them against her chest so they can better tap into her magic, and walks over to Hecate, slowly putting her hand on her shoulders. It takes a minute at least, but she feels the witch relax slightly. Very slightly.

As Hecate carefully dips her fingers into the potion and applies it to Khry’s scales, Pippa watches her and waits for her to talk. It is not easy, as she wants to ask at least a dozen questions and offer a dozen more advices, but she manages to hold her tongue.

“ You should not have brought them here, Pippa “

“They missed you “she says, then sighs and adds “ I missed you “ with a bashful smile.

Hecate’s fingers freeze, her head snapping up before lowering rapidly again. Khry nudges her hand, and she continues to apply the substance to their scales. “ We saw each other not two days ago”

Pippa bites her lip. “ I know. I just- “ she is apt at reading situations, at predicting what will anger a person or what will make them happy, both because she is a people’s person and as a result of years of politics that were needed to make Pentangle’s the school it is today. But Hecate Hardbroom has always simultaneously been the easiest and hardest to read, sometimes leaving Pippa floundering like no one else-

“ Perhaps you should stay for this evening”

Khry opens their eyes suddenly, chirping quickly as they probably feel Pippa’s heart speed up. She smiles at them, then offers the same smile to Hecate. “ I would like that”

Hecate nods. “That is settled then. You can wait in my rooms, if you wish”

“ Am I at least allowed the pleasure of your company during lunch?” Pippa teases

Hecate smirks slightly. “ And that of hundreds of excitable girls that will ,no doubt, ignore every social rule they can and instead pester you with inappropriate questions”

“Those are my very favourite kind .. “she waits a beat, until she is certain Hecate is catching on to the innuendo “ if asked by the right people”

Hecate purses her lips. “And who would quality as the right person – some wizard with too little sense and an inflated ego, no doubt?”

Pippa stares at her, and wow, is there a lot to comment on. Hecate’s tone, her body language, the implications, the fact that it almost feels as though they’re at some silly conference again – a wizard bothering Pippa, politics and her school demanding she fake-smiles and running into Hecate. She grits her teeth.

“We are not still fighting Hecate Hardbroom, so you better stop acting as though we are. We are friends – and as your friend, I can tell you this is not how you talk to me”

Hecate stiffens. “ I –“

She holds up her hand. “I am not finished” Hecate is stiff and defiant, but Pippa picks the other things out as well. The fear, the confusion, the frustration. She softens her tone. “I am aware that you are not always verbally strong Hiccup, and I accept that about you. I love you the way you are, social awkwardness and all. But I also have to look at for me, and if I feel like you are disrespecting me or mocking me, just thinking me another silly witch that doesn’t deserve your- “

Her voice wobbles, and Hecate’s expression shifts rapidly. Pippa would laugh if she weren’t hurting at the thought of losing Hecate again. “You’re not- “ Hecate cuts herself off, struggles.

Khry slowly stretches, shakes themselves and launches themselves at Hecate. When they pull away, there is a bright line of red where their claws touched Hecate’s neck. Hecate hisses, then swallows. She appears to be suffering a few aneurisms before she is able to continue “ I would never think of you as silly, Pipsqueak. You built your own school, which is keeping up with the finest schools in the country, if not the world. I might not … enjoy modern magic, but I can admire how much you have contributed to the field and how capable you are. You have always been brilliant- “ Hecate swallows, struggling again and Pippa is so proud when she forces herself through it. “ and I have always been proud to be able to call you my friend”

Pippa rushes towards her without thinking, and embraces her. She exhales slowly, then inhales and closes her eyes. She feels Hecate’s arms around her, her body pressed against her in a way that feels familiar again.

She pulls back, although she keeps a gentle hold on Hecate’s arms. “ I apologize for my reaction, I simply despise how some people misjudge me and for a moment, it felt as though you looked at me the same way”

“Which way would that be?”

“As though I am merely this- “she gestures at herself “ A pretty face and a gorgeous body. As though it matters whether there is some wizard I talked to when I would much rather have people focus on my school”

Pippa sighs. “I suppose people do not care about my mind, and tend to forget I actually have a brain. That image of me is pushed forward so much that sometimes I fear that is all anyone can see when they look at me”

“ Pipsqueak - “Hecate hesitates, obviously not knowing how to respond. Pippa is about to help her, tell her to let it go when she says “ From all the witches I have met, you are the least silly one”

She smiles. “Even Ada?”

“ Ada is my dear friend, but she is not you “ Hecate offers, which is more than Pippa expected. Far more. She embraces her again, trying not to think of how terrified she is to lose this. She finally pulls back when she hears her stomach rumble quietly, which reminds her of how hungry she is.

She smiles at Hecate, rolls her eyes fondly. “ I cannot believe you brought up wizards”

“Well, they seem to be lured towards you the same way a phoenix would be to a flame” Hecate sniffs.

“ No, I mean- “ Pippa rolls her eyes. “I have told you that I fancy witches exclusively and you would still mention it. Surely you must realize that there is no way in all of Dante’s nine hells that I would end up with a wizard?”

“They are layers, there is only one Hell” Hecate mutters, dazed. She is flushing (Pippa curses her traitorous, useless thoughts when they immediately ask the familiar question of just how far that blush extends and what she would look like blushing because of something else entirely) and averts her eyes before they jump back to Pippa, again and again.

“ I- all right fine, but why would you still bring up wizards?”

Pippa frowns again. “ And I don’t – I know that there are many exasperating wizards but there are plenty of witches that can be horrible as well. So I don’t understand why you would be so intentionally contemptuous of me behaving a certain way with a certain type of wizards whereas you don’t mention the same thing with witches?”

Hecate stares at her. “ I- you spend a lot of time with wizards? As for my opinion on wizards, the ones I have met were disrespectful, with inflated egos and the idea that they were more powerful, more versed in the Craft than any witch could ever be”.

Pippa stares right back. “I have outright told you I fancy witches exclusively. Multiple times. And I have met wizards who are entirely different too, Hiccup”

“ You were nearly always speaking to some wizard during those conferences. And you are- ” Hecate curls her lips slightly, narrows her eyes “ overly friendly around them. Wizards are generally intolerable”

Pippa rolls her eyes again.

“ I spend a good bit of my time with witches as well, it is simply the fact that wizards swarm more easily towards me for some reason. And my position as headmistress requires me to be “

“So you do admit to not simply choosing the company of wizards but for them to selfishly and forcefully attempting to decide for you?”

Pippa takes on a thoughtful expression. “ It is not that I am forced to choose the company of wizards, it is that I choose the company of women over the company of wizards. Spending time in the company of wizards can be enjoyable, but there is a fair deal which are utterly convinced they are the most desirable beings on the planet which is exhausting. And even when I am not interested in a woman beyond friendship, there is still something better about spending time with women, don’t you agree?”

“ I hardly- “ Hecate starts, possibly thinking about Dimitry’s carefree, almost mischievous personality and miss Bat’s tendency to fall asleep in the middle of conversation. Pippa doesn’t know what she thinks of next(she would guess it’s Ada though) , but she nods.

“Actually, you are quite right. Conversations with women are generally-speaking far less taxing, and can be enjoyable. They are better listeners in my opinion, and genuinely enjoy hearing your thoughts- if you are surrounded by the right sort of women that is. Men in my opinion are always fools at best. Women are hardly ever fools, although they can be… challenging, dangerous in ways men are not”

Pippa laughs. “ I don’t know whether I would go as far as to state that “men are fools at best” , but I have to admit I understand why you think that way. There are truly many men that would have you lose faith in the entire group. ”

“Quite”

“We should probably get some lunch, although I would be interested in hearing more of your thoughts on this some other time”

Hecate nods. “ We should not miss lunch”

Pippa lays her hand on Hecate’s arm before she leaves. “And Hecate?”

“Yes, Pippa?”

“I am very happy to have reconciled with you, and I value this opportunity to raise Khry with you more than possibly anything else in my life”

Hecate swallows with difficulty, then steels herself. “ I enjoy my position as potion mistress, it is fulfilling even when I despair at the state of things, but I am very glad to have you in my life again” she says far less than Pippa just did, but it isn’t truly about the words anyways. It is how Hecate looks at her for a moment, soft and vulnerable, and smiles at her before glancing away.

Pippa feels as though even if a full-grown frostborn dragon would attack her, the warmth that Hecate’s smile causes to spread through her body would easily protect her. She smiles as well, can’t help it and they leave the classroom together. Khry follows them, perching on Pippa’s shoulder but with their tails loosely around Hecate’s shoulder.

Just before they leave, there is a muttered “ oh bats!” and the sound of someone stumbling away from the door. Neither Pippa nor Hecate notice, caught up in each other as they are.

Pippa throws a sharp glance at Teagan , who is grinning like the Cheshire cat as Pippa practically stumbles over her own feet in her eagerness to get down the winding stairs towards where she knows they have arrived. She collects herself, slowing her steps to a normal pace with effort and rounds the corner with a smile.

Her heart skips a beat, and she just watches for a moment. The girls are huddled in groups, chattering excitedly, pointing at things, laughing and trying to walk away to look at all the new things around them. Dimity Drill is playing some sort of game with a couple of the girls; miss Bat is talking to mister Rowan-Webb whereas Ada is calming down a girl that is upset for some sort of reason-

Pippa’s eyes are soon pulled towards Hecate, all the noise and movement fading to the background. She is standing a little bit away from the group , watching with disapproval at some of them. She flinches when a girl runs past her, admonishes her before she lets her continue to run towards her friends.

“ Your friend looks uncomfortable” Teagan observes, putting a lot of emphasis on the word “friend”

“Oh hush , you”

Teagan’s smiles fades. “ Be careful Pippa, I know how much she hurt you” Teagan squeezes her shoulder for a moment. “ You deserve better than a woman who keeps breaking your heart”

Pippa rolls her eyes, then looks at Hecate again. “ I thought you got on with Hecate? ”

Teagan laughs. “ As far as she gets on with anyone who is not you, or Ada Cackle” it is rare for Teagan to radiate anything but a calm sort of happiness, but the woman gives her a grim look now. “ I understand why you like her, she is almost as crafty as you are, and I know you think that all that sour and proper “Tradition prevails” attitude she has is just a shield, but be careful Pip”

She leans against Teagan for a moment. “ I know you are just concerned, but I promise you do not have to be. We are corresponding regularly, she invites me for chess evenings, we talk again- “ Pippa sighs happily.

“ But she has yet to catch on you are hat over heels for her?”

Pippa shrugs. “ Or she knows, but has no idea of how to let me down gently” Pippa bites her lips. “There were times where I thought she knew, and that is why she stopped being my friend. But she has not mentioned it nor does she react overtly negative when I hug her or kiss her cheek”

Teagan raises her eyebrow. “ It looks as though your guard dog has caught on to us” she motions subtly at Hecate, who has stepped towards Ada and glances away when she realizes Teagan is watching. She isn’t quick enough to hide the curl to her lips.

“ Stop making fun of her” Pippa admonishes

Teagan shakes her head. “I don’t understand that woman. On the one hand, she is distant and short with you but then you told me about all those times which make her sound as though she were imbued with essence of Jealousy”

Pippa sighs. “Hecate struggles to properly express herself, she always has “

“That is no excuse- “

“ We will talk about it later, if you want to. I have guests to greet, and I believe you have your duties as well?” Pippa smiles, squeezes Teagan’s hand for a moment. She can perfectly picture the woman’s expression as she walks away from her towards the group waiting.

She claps her hands “ Cackle’s academy, well-met and welcome to Pentangle’s. We find it wonderful to have you here”

A choruses of well-met’s rises from the girls, some a little too late and only after Dimity has gently tapped the few girls that were distracted by their friends, or the castle itself. Miss Cackle steps away from Hecate, who was lingering very close to her, and smiles brightly.

“Well-met, miss Pentangle. Thank you for the invitation, it was a truly wonderful idea to hold a combined ball”

“ You are very welcome” she tells her, then looks up and smiles at Hecate. “Well-met, miss Hardbroom” she says, unable to stop smiling. Hecate looks like she always does, clad in black and looking old-fashioned, but that doesn’t take away from how beautiful she is. Not to Pippa. Especially not when she smiles just slightly, and bows.

“Well-met miss Pentangle”

They stand there for a moment, staring at each other, before Ada gently touches Pippa’s elbow. “ Where would you have us stay miss Pentangle?”

The girls immediately start up their excited chatter again- “ I still can’t believe we are staying for the entire night and most of tomorrow, this is so cool” – and Pippa laughs . “ I do apologize, I was distracted. Follow me, please”

She walks the long corridor, talking amiably to Ada about curriculum, until Mildred suddenly shows up next to them. “ Hi Miss Pentangle! Where does that staircase lead to?”

“ The teachers’ rooms, so it is off-bounds I am afraid”

Enid shows up as well, dragging Maud with her. She whispers something to Maud, which makes the other girl whisper back rather sharply. Pippa shakes her head.

“ The staircase is not protected, and you can always walk towards my room if you require my help of course, but I know that most of my staff has wisely put protective spells on their rooms “

“ Where is your room, miss Pentangle?” Mildred asks, practically bouncing in her excitement.

“Mildred. Hubble” Hecate suddenly drawls, from closely behind the girl. Mildred jumps and looks at her guiltily. “ Do not pester miss Pentangle with such questions. If you require a teacher, you will come to me and – “

“ That is all right, Hecate” Pippa cuts in, smiling at Hecate and then Mildred. “ My room is actually on the ground floor, near the guest rooms you will be staying in. My office is on the first floor however, and I spend quite a bit of them there so you will usually find me there as well. If I am not in my office nor in my personal chambers, I will be in the gardens”

“Why are you not with the other teachers?” Enid asks.

“ Enid Nightshade- “ Hecate drawls again, and Enid grimaces and mouths “detention” to Mildred and Maud regardless, making them giggle as she imitates Hecate.

“It is fine, honestly” she smiles at Hecate again, then focuses on Enid. “ For multiple reasons. I am closer to the gardens, the staff room and most of the class rooms this way. I do not spend that much of my time in my personal chambers, so I have always preferred them to be nearer to places where I do spend quite a bit of my time”

“Miss Pentangle?” Maud asks, then seems to almost regret it. She gulps as she glances at Hecate.

“ Yes?”

“Don’t you spend a lot of time in your office, and wouldn’t it make sense because of that to have your office on the ground floor as well?”

“You are very right, Maud Spellbody. The way it is right now is indeed slightly impractical, but the other rooms that are on the ground floor were needed for other purposes” she winks. “ Besides, I don’t mind a bit of walking, I have to keep in shape somehow”

Hecate raises her eyebrow, as if to say “really, Pippa, walking?”. Pippa is sorely tempted to draw her into the conversation somehow but she knows the other woman wouldn’t reacted positively to that so she holds back.

Mildred apparently doesn’t realize it, or doesn’t have the same control Pippa does, because she looks at Hecate with a smile. “ How do you keep in shape, miss Hardbroom?”

“By gathering potion ingredients”

“ That’s a lie; she makes us do that” Enid mutters, then yelps when Maud pushes her and hisses “she can hear you!”

“ Oh, uhm – “ Mildred hesitates, then glances at Pippa and seems to gather her courage. “ We never really see you fly, but I heard somewhere that were really good at it. So I thought that might be how you kept in shape?”

“ Every witch worth her broom knows how to fly, Mildred Hubble”

Mildred’s face falls for a moment before she seems to struggle through it to say “So you don’t like flying then?”

“ It matters little whether I enjoy it or not; it is – “ everyone stops and stares when miss Hardbroom suddenly jerks and she grimaces before muttering something in an angry tone. The last thing is not unexpected ; the others are.

“… Miss Hardbroom?” Mildred eventually ventures, and this is one of the reasons that if Pippa would be a Cackle’s teacher, Mildred would most definitely be her favourite student. She is always kind, never thinks twice about offering help even to people she doesn’t really like ( and she reminds Pippa of a certain gangly, tall witch that used to stop a gaggle of students from throwing rocks at a Cockatrice chick, unmoveable even if they started to use her as their new target)

“ I am all right” Hecate forces out, and starts walking again. She lags behind slightly, allowing Enid to ask a dozen questions while Maud sometimes asks something that has Enid tease her in a friendly manner, bumping her shoulder against Maud’s.

Mildred waits until she is walking next to Hecate and her friends are happily distracted by the chance to ask questions ( Maud to not just ask questions, but keep Enid from asking certain ones) ; Ada and Pippa are distracted by the questions fired at them, and the playful fighting of the two friends. “ Are you sure you’re all right, miss Hardbroom?”

“I am fine, Mildred”.

Mildred hesitates, then says, very quietly “ You’re bleeding, miss Hardbroom” .

Hecate arches her eyebrows, and Mildred points at her own neck. Hecate debates ignoring it, and possibly punishing Mildred for interfering too much in her teachers’ lives but ultimately touches her neck carefully. Her finger comes away wet, and-

She waves her hand and the ugly scratch slowly vanishes. “ Not another word, Mildred” she warns

They walk in awkward silence for a moment , Hecate waiting for the moment Mildred will dart forward and join the chatter of her two friends. Instead she does what Mildred Hubble does best and confounds her teacher.

“ Miss Pentangle is the bats “ she says, eyes focused on the witch in questions. When Hecate makes a quiet sound that could almost be assent, she swallows, breaths in and adds “I kind of listened in on your conversation accidentally”

Before Hecate can do more than snap her head at her, she adds “ You’re even more the bats and I think it is really nice that you’re raising Khry together”

Hecate forgets to glare, too stunned by the idea that a student would like her more than Pippa. She is struggling to discover whether she is offended or touched by it, wants to scold Mildred for daring to think anyone could be better than Pippa (the girl is not the type to use flattery to try and gain her teacher’s favour , nor is she sly enough to use this to throw her off balance, but a very strict teacher would start to wonder) –

And then Mildred has to go and make it worse, because there will not be a day where Mildred Hubble will not cause her near death, and smiles at her. “ You should ask her to dance” before apparently recognizing that to stay around Hecate would be the height of foolishness, and darting to her friends. Leaving Hecate to obsess over the idea.

It is not as though it is the first time the idea is there; Hecate had practically needed all her self-control, as well as reserves of control she didn’t even know she had, not to approach Pippa during the Leaver’s ball. There had always been something magical about Pippa that had had very little to do with her magic (although that, too, left Hecate with a sort of aching feeling demolishing her chest). And during the leaver’s ball, whatever it is that had always made Hecate helplessly drawn to Pippa like any moth to a bright flame, had been stronger than ever.

She is still caught up in the memory, furious and glad at the same moment that she never approached Pippa when she nearly walks into the other woman, and hisses again as there is a stab of sharp pain when Khry’s nails cut her from where they’re hidden.

“Miss Hubbard, I did not see you there for a moment! Well- met”

Hecate narrows her eyes at the name and looks for the woman in question with a sinking feeling in her stomach. It is indeed Danielle Hubbard, clad in pale blue and silver like usual and with her auburn hair hanging loose in gentle curls, smiling at Pippa in a way that makes Hecate relate with the low, growling anger that emanates from Khry’s hiding place in the bodice of her dress.

“ Danielle, sweetheart, I have told you a dozen times to call me by my first name”

“ I hardly think- “

“Bats and owls- is that who I think it is?” and then , before Hecate can even transfer away or otherwise protect herself, Danielle kisses her cheeks left-right-left and grins at her. She has a surprisingly nice smile for someone that has always made every single instinct that Hecate has developed living with her father go off like a wrongly mixed invisibility potion.

“Hecate Hardbroom, it must have been decades since I last saw you”

Hecate bows stiffly. “ Well-met, miss Hubbard. It has been a while” she knows she is supposed to add something asinine such as “how have you been?” but she has never understood why that is an important social rule.

She freezes and glares at the arm that curls around her shoulder for a moment. “What have you been up to , eh? Obviously, I read all those brilliant – although a tad too old-fashioned for my tastes, I will admit- research papers and such you keep writing, but the last thing I heard you were a teacher and I can simply not imagine you choosing to be around children”

“Hecate is a brilliant teacher” Pippa weighs in, glancing at the arm around Hecate’s shoulder. Her eyes narrow for a moment, her lips purse but then she smiles as though she is attempting to make ice melt. “ She does a wonderful job preparing the next generation of witches for their lives practising the Craft”

Hecate blushes faintly, then manages to get away from the arm around her. Danielle ignores it, smiling in that too-sweet way of hers. “ Oh? I thought you would hardly agree with her teaching methods”

Pippa freezes for a millisecond, but recovers admirably. “ And what is that supposed to mean?”

“ You run an academy for modern applications of the Craft. And Hecate Hardbroom is notorious for her strict adherence to tradition- Goddess, she even studied under Broomhead, and we all know- “

The words fade, as though Hecate has suddenly been pushed underwater. She doesn’t hear Danielle’s light, casual apology nor Pippa’s fierce defence of her ; she is barely eighteen years old again, and standing for a woman she desperately wants to impress but will never be more to than just a silly girl. She can almost feel Broomhead’s magic, curled tight around her throat, in her lungs, burning her stomach –

“Hecate?”

She wrenches away from the touch, even Pippa’s gentle , barely-there way of touching her too much. She is foolish, getting so easily upset over something that happened a long time ago, and reacting so strongly to something as simple to most human beings as touch. She is exactly what Broomhead said, and even worse-

“ I think we will have to excuse ourselves, miss Hubbard. These girls still have to be shown their rooms, and I am not the only one that still has to change their clothing I am afraid. We will see you at the ball”

Danielle flips her hair, spreading the faint scent of fresh nature (Hecate is reminded of walking into a forest when it has just rained) and shooting Pippa an admittedly gorgeous smile. “ I completely understand – “

She doesn’t get to finish; Khry suddenly rips away from Hecate, a blur of red and bright yellow as they throw themselves in front of Pippa, raising the spikes that have started growing along their back.

Danielle pauses, blinks. “ Goodness. Is that a – “

“Yes. Khry, return to me “ Hecate commands, although her voice doesn’t rise above the excited cries of the girls – one even feels it necessary to shriek “ KHRYYYYY BABY” – behind her. She repeats it in a louder voice, but Khry barely pay attention to her; they keep growling, pacing in front of Pippa while flashing different bright colours.

Danielle smiles, slowly sinking to her knees and reaching out to them- “KHRY NO” Pippa yells , only grabbing them just in time; Danielle pulls back so quickly she loses her balance and falls, staring at the frost covering the tips of her fingers.

“ Why you- “she starts, her expression morphing for a second before she manages to scramble to her feet again. Pippa misses it; she is too busy reprimanding Khry, who keeps growling softly.

“ Did you not learn your dragon not to attack people, Hecate?” Danielle says, narrowing her eyes at Khry.

Hecate arches an eyebrow, and Pippa probably guesses she is not going to be diplomatic because she quickly interferes and throws Danielle a smile. “I do apologize, they normally behave quite well. Perhaps they reacted to your perfume? They are known to react to certain scents”

Danielle just stares at her for a moment, then laughs in the same manner any girl that used to bully Hecate for her clothes, her habits, her – just her, actually. “ Pippa, it is just completely you to offer to raise Hecate’s dragon with her. How ever do you manage along with running the school?”

Hecate throws a glare in the direction of the girls, who are whispering furiously among themselves. She would never admit it, not even to herself, but it is largely to be able to collect herself while Pippa answers the question in a way that might devastate Hecate. Something like oh well, I hardly had a choice in the matter or Hecate is the only person I know who does not have something like a wife or even friends that take up so much of her time.

“ I never offered; I asked her. Hecate is rather wonderful with magical creatures, and raising a dragon is a near impossible task on your own” Pippa smiles at Hecate. “ And I would never have chosen someone else, it has been wonderful to raise Khry together. Our personalities complement each other very well; I honestly think no one else would have been a better choice”

“Oh, really?” Danielle laughs that way again. “ Well, a mutual acquaintance of ours did once tell us that you used to be tighter than a broom’s twigs so it makes sense, in a way”

Hecate tenses ; the girls have started whispering furiously again and the snippets she hears, makes her skin crawl. It’s all disbelief and giggles, and she almost rips into them before she realizes she is no longer a fifteen-year old girl terrified that the others will convince Pippa to abandon her. Her voice is still cutting however; her demeanour still harsh when she turns around and snipes at them.

As soon as the girls are properly chastened, she turns to Pippa again. She is smiling at Danielle, still holding a bucking Khry who are now slapping their wings (carefully, they obviously are trying very hard not to hurt Pippa), and pretty much shrieking at Danielle.

“ Khry, unless you wish to never eat a single piece of … donut in your life again, you will stop this behaviour instantly”

Khry makes that particular sound, the sad, pained cry that has Hecate’s eyes prickle faintly but doesn’t stop bucking and snapping in Danielle’s reaction. In fact, the behaviour worsens.

Hecate narrows her eyes. “ You have received a proper warning “ she means to wave her hand, vanish them to Pippa’s rooms, but Pippa shakes her head subtly. She raises an eyebrow, but drops her hand slowly.

Khry remains furious, their tail snapping back-and-forth and almost slapping Pippa in her face, even when Pippa scratches that particular spot that normally makes them curl up happily in her arms.

“ Calm down” she soothes “ I know it is overwhelming, all these strange people around you , but it is all right”

Danielle shakes her head. “ I should leave, even those of us that will spend the night as watchful guardians need to be dressed well “ she slides her eyes over Pippa’s body “ Especially those of us that need the help, unlike those of us who look absolutely dead-dropping gorgeous with minimal effort”

She walks away, and Khry finally stops bucking and shrieking and turning headache-inducing bright shades of colour. They almost relax in Pippa’s arms, climbing on top of her head and purring happily as they curl their tail around Pippa’s bun. Their eyes remain wide open, however, and from Pippa’s brief grimace, she would take an educated guess that Khry is actively preparing to spit ice ( something that also turns them so intensely cold that it is almost painful).

They all walk to the rooms, the girls slightly subdued after her scolding but still sharing glances and even whispering ; Pippa takes up conversation again with Mildred, Enid and Maud. The girls are dropped off at various rooms, and Hecate is left in her own after Pippa presses another kiss to her cheek.

Her cheeks are flushed for a long time after that.

I considered cutting that scene out (or editing it heavily) many times, mainly because I had already written a scene where Pippa told Hecate she liked women exclusively. However, it is one of my favourite scenes as it has Pippa accepting Hecate’s flaws without being a doormat and also has this nice little convo about women. Plus, I guessed that Hecate would be self-conscious enough and jealous enough that it would still be plausible for her to react this way. On top of this, I have this headcanon/ image of certain types of wizards always swarming Pippa and her smooching up for the sake of her school on conferences while Hecate stews whenever she needs to attend and sees that.

I finally decided to add the discussion of wizards, as I do think there is a tendency to sometimes take the discussion about men too far where it is borderline misandry and there is the specific type of biphobia where women are judged for their attraction to men by lesbians, and I didn’t want a scene that could potentially have that vibe( no matter how canon I think it is for Hecate to so not be a fan of men) I mean, I am not a saint myself and catch myself doing the same shit sometimes but that is why it is important to discuss it you know? Hopefully, I did an okayish job and otherwise please tell me how I could improve.

Anyways, tell me what you think of the scene and y’all can scream at me about your own headcanons any time.

#hicsqueak #pippa x hecate #these two honestly #dragons #jealousy #Pippa having no chill when it comes to Hecate like usual #hecate hardbroom #pippa pentangle

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auspicious-voice · 2 years ago

Text

Voicebank Development Log (06/06/2022)

I might be making this into a monthly thing (assuming that I still have voicebanks that are in development), but here's to another development log - entirely dedicated to Maria and Mario's WIP voicebanks!

More under the cut as usual :D Will also include updates on the release!

Voicebank, oto.ini Progress and Rerecording

I come here with good news: Maria and Mario's oto.ini configs are FINALLY complete!! It took me around 3 months to finish them both, even if it only involved adding CV-VC configs ^^; were it not for real life obligations and other matters it would have taken me under a month to finish. Mario's took shorter to finish as I had more free time on my hands.

This is what Maria and Mario's voicebanks look like now. I fixed some errors in the readme and added some more documentation on the add-ons, not to mention that I fixed the FRQ files of their breath samples. They're mostly complete... in terms of configs.

Currently, I am at a point where there's barely any samples that need to be rerecorded, save for a couple of samples that need to be revised as they sound wonky in (Open)UTAU. So, the margin of error is low, but it'll be fixed once I get to rerecord!

Also when is OpenUtau going to have voice colours compatibility with the default phonemizer

Artworks

The next step after completing the oto.ini is to work on the append fullbody art! As of posting this log, I am still drawing the line art for Mario's appends, and Maria's line art is complete. I expect to finish this mid-June (I hope), since I've made my process in making art a bit streamlined... provided that I'm not too distracted. I'm mostly dreading the colouring part, ESPECIALLY figuring out the colour schemes for each design.

I also have plans for celebratory illustrations ahead of the release, but I haven't worked on them yet. I will be including said artworks in the voicebanks as part of their extras. These might include comics (4koma), sketches, concept art, and so on.

Demo Reel and Video

Maria and Mario's individual demo reels are complete as usual, but I haven't gotten to that one special part of the reel yet, because I haven't even started it. I will once I get around to finishing the fullbodies.

The video itself will be made in After Effects, but my main concern is that I do not have Media Encoder, and I cannot afford exporting a 100+ GB AVI that might make my computer shit itself to death. QuickTime makes the video out of sync for some odd reason, and as much as I'd love to use Handbrake for encoding the video file to MP4, I do not know if I can do that again;; I'm looking into DNx and ProRes for exporting in the meantime though.

But at least my computer can handle After Effects when it comes to editing! I'm excited to use it again following the PV of Identity I made for one of my recent covers.

Depending on how much energy I have for it, I could probably make the video as a premiere. The problem, is I do not know who would stick around for the entirety of the demo reel. Plus I forgot how to hype my own voicebanks up (IDK how younger me used to do it).

Release Date and Other Plans

I've been thinking about when to release these voicebanks, but considering how much free time I have, I can estimate that Maria AUSPICE+ and Mario OPULENCE+ will probably be released Q3-Q4 2022. If things don't work out, please expect them to be released early 2023. Just don't really take these as gospel, but it should give you an idea when these voicebanks will be released. If it were to be released early 2023, perhaps I could release it on their 8th anniversary? Maybe?

As for the release itself (not the video and date), I'd love to do some fun things for it, but I'm out of ideas, oops. Maybe I could host a design content or a cover contest to promote the release. Again, once I release these voicebanks, I'll take break from recording for a while, and once I come back, I'll get started on recording voicebanks for the twins in other languages as well as potential NNSVS voice models.

That's about it for this development log! And now I go and play Genshin Impact and also cry over FGO Constantine because what the fuck happened to me when I summoned him

BONUS: I still post WIPs and tests on my 2nd SoundCloud, so feel free to check it out if you can!

#utau #utauloid #voicebank development #fuwa maria #fuwa mario

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holytheoristtastemaker · 4 years ago

Link

Git is a powerful tool I use every single day. Up until a few months ago I only used the bare minimum to get my job done. When I moved to a different company, with a much larger team, I quickly figured out there was so much of Git I didn’t know about and wasn’t using.

Nowadays I feel much more confident and I’ve learned a bunch of helpful new things! While I won’t go into the basics of Git, because there are many great resources out there to help you with that, I’d like to show you five commands that I think are very useful and may save you a few headaches. They certainly saved some for me.

Let’s dive in!

Amend: changing the commit after committing

You commit something and you immediately realize your commit message isn’t clear enough or doesn’t adhere to the commit message formatting rules of the project. Maybe you realized you needed to add one small change, like removing that silly little console.log(), or maybe you forgot to add a new file.

Does any of the above sound familiar? It definitely sounds familiar to me and has happened a few times! Luckily, there is a way for you to change, or rather update, your latest commit before you push it using --amend.

There are two parts to a commit that you may want to change, the first one is the commit message and the second one is a file. Let’s start with changing the commit message.

Changing the commit message

In it’s most basic form, the command to change your commit message looks like this:

git commit --amend

This will open your configured code editor for Git and allow you to change the commit message. You can, however, change the commit message without opening the editor:

git commit --amend -m "Your updated commit message"

Adding the -m flag, followed by the updated message in quotes, allows you to change the message without opening the editor.

Amending a change or file

Let’s say you notice a rogue console.log() after you’ve committed and you want to remove it. Edit the file and stage it like you normally would for a commit. Then run the following command:

git commit --amend --no-edit

This will amend the file to the commit. The —no-edit flag allows you to do this without changing the commit message.

⚠️ Caveat

Using —amend doesn’t change the commit. Instead, it replaces the commit with a brand new one. As such it is incredibly important you don’t amend public commits. Your local commits are perfectly fine.

Checkout: reverting a single file

Recently I did a pull request for a new feature I was working on. Part of my work was to remove some old styling in a legacy file. When I deleted the 8 lines of styling and hit save, I automatically ran prettier because that’s how I’ve set up my IDE.

The result was a little over a thousand changes making it impossible to figure out what it was that I actually changed myself. I completely missed this had happened and joyfully opened a pull request ready for review. Oops 😅.

I had to revert that file, make sure prettier wasn’t running, make my changes, save it, and commit it to the branch so it could be reviewed properly. Luckily git checkout comes to the rescue!

To revert a single file back to a previous commit, you run the following command:

git checkout <commit_hash> -- <path/to/file>

First find the commit that holds the changes you need to revert to, this is most likely 1 commit before the commit you need reverting, then figure out what the path to that file is (easiest way is to copy the relative path in your code editor).

Your file is now reverted to what it was on the commit you picked out. In my case: before I removed the styling and ran prettier. Phew, crisis solved 🥳.

Remote: add another remote repo

I’m going to outline this part with a hypothetical situation based on real events.

Imagine you are currently working on a new feature and you’ve got a co-worker, let’s call her Kate, who’s working on something that you need to integrate into your feature. You are both working in a fork of the central repository of your team and you need to pull in the latest changes Kate has made on her fork.

When you cloned your forked repository to your system, Git automatically created a remote connection named: origin. You may already know this, but did you know you can add Kate’s repository as a remote connection as well? This is great for when you want to pull in changes Kate made without her having to push to the central repository.

Let’s look at how to add Kate’s repository to your list of remote connections, we’ll go into fetching her changes in the next section. Here’s how to add her repository:

git remote add <name> <url>

The name can be anything you want. I usually stick to using my co-worker’s names or Github usernames. The url is the URL to her repository, for example: [email protected]:Kate/acme-fork.git. Putting that together:

git remote add kate [email protected]:Kate/acme-fork.git

If you run git remote, which will list all of the remote connections, you’ll see Kate’s remote repository.

Remote: fetching a branch from the remote branch

To fetch a specific branch from a specific remote, you run the following command:

git fetch <remote> <branch>

In the previous section we talked about adding Kate’s repository to your remote connections. Kate was working on something in a branch called new-feature. Using the above command, that would look like this:

git fetch kate new-feature

Running the command will fetch Kate’s branch and save them locally in kate/new-feature. What’s going on here is that remote branches you fetch are available using <remote-name>/<branch-name>.

To merge Kate’s changes into your branch, you have to git checkout your branch and then merge the branch you just fetched:

git merge kate/new-feature

Kate’s branch is now merged into your branch 👍.

Checkout: creating a branch based on another branch

I was recently working on rewriting a feature using a different library than the one in use on production. Aside from rewriting the code, new functionality needed to be added as well. I tackled this in two steps:

Rewrite the feature as it currently works in production and have my code reviewed to make sure I didn’t miss anything.

Add new functionality.

For step one I created a branch for the rewrite called feature-rewrite. Well it was a little more elaborate than that, but you get the point! You may be familiar with doing this from the CLI, but if not this is how you’d do that:

git checkout -b feature-rewrite

The -b flag tells Git to run git branch feature-rewrite if the branch doesn’t exist yet before checking out that branch, pretty neat 😄.

While I was waiting for the code to be reviewed, I continued with adding new functionality. This had to be done based on the rewrite I just did. In other words: I had to create a new branch based off of the feature-rewrite branch. Here’s how to do that:

git checkout -b new-functionality feature-rewrite

The checkout command takes a second parameter to let Git know what branch to base the new branch off of. To give you a clearer picture of this:

git checkout -b <new-branch> <existing-branch>

Final words

Over the past few months I have learned a lot of new things about Git and how you can use it to your advantage. The commands outlined in this post are by far the most useful and have been a real lifesaver for me.

Thank you for reading this post and I hope it’s been helpful!

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the-dyslexic-blogger · 4 years ago

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Me Myself and i....Oh and the rest. 13/06/20

There are multiple of me.

So the title might confuse some no one still really knows about this condition but I have DID or Dissociative identity disorder I have four alternative personalities which all represent a part of my life its hard having DID especially when one of your alters is a two-year-old.

There are some trigger warnings towards self-harm suicidal mentions eating disorder mentions, with a side of abuse mentions ooh and also sprinkle of sexual assault. WOOHOO, that sounds like a fun one a walk in the park.. .ohh there might be ducks...ill get some bread...

Having DID is weird when you can zone out, and one of your alters can take control over everything you do and say you can zone out in the kitchen and zone back in and you could have destroyed a whole city and blew the world up and be butt naked in front of thousands of people (that was a good afternoon).

I am joking for disclaimer usage.

But there you go I said it I have DID. I haven't wanted to admit it, but I have currently four alternative personalities so five people in me head

I will talk about the alters and what they represent I will talk about them and use images that my friend drew of them he is the only one that knows.

I have Stripe, Blue, Cody and Eliza they all live in my head and like… (SENTENCE BEGAN DRUNK, MAYBE FINISH LATER?)

Stripe

He represents my depression and suicidal thoughts. He will very often take over and cut me. It's horrible I can be doing a normal thing and then boom he takes over he is a lot like me, but he looks like a demon his red glowing eyes are staring at me right now I wish he'd fuck off. He and Eliza are both bad alters that try to hurt and kill me multiple times. Stripe has taken over and gone on walkies and self-harmed he talks to me most the day lingering over my shoulder telling me I'm better off dead and he is the reason for all of my impulses. It's hard having DID I've said that thousands of times now but it is, okay? I hate it. I wish I never had it. He makes a good impression of me. He's a demon who can fly.

One time he took overtook one of my knives and cut my arm, my friend walked in and stopped it, he tried to walk away from it like nothing had happened. Still, he didn't get away with it as my friend took it away and hugged me until I retook control he's been a part of me for years now I don't remember exactly when I developed my DID, but I think it must have been since I was about 16 so there you go. Four years.

A lot of the time his high pitched squeal penetrates my ears with his whispers of 'you're not good enough' and 'your friends hate you' his claws dig deeper onto my shoulder and grips me harder every time I don't listen to him, and all I'm left with is the shadow of the sheer guilt taking over my whole life.

He looks like a demon he has a stripe all down the middle of his body, and his eyes sometimes glow in the night he says a lot of stuff things he knows will hurt me. He has horns on his head and is constantly trying to get me to cut myself and convince me that I need to feel the relief and pain while the blade kisses my skin and slices my wrists up. He stops me doing things I enjoy like, for example, musical theatre there was this person there who was a snake. He always said she's going to do it again you're going to be sexually assaulted again if you go outside.

I asked what the person that knows about this and what they said it is like when Stripe takes over:

"When Stripe takes over, it's very creepy. I can look in the eyes of my best friend, someone I love, and it's not them in that head. It's someone… something else. Stripe usually tries to pretend to be Dino, but he never expresses any emotion except hate, which is how I know its not my Dino in there. He never says stuff like "love you" or even "I'm alright". He's a dickhead basically."

Eliza

She's a lot like Stripe, but she represents my eating disorders she also doesn't like it when I'm happy she's around a lot when my eating disorders are present she's a skinny demon her ribs are present like she wants me to be she dislikes people who like me and she doesn't think I deserve my friends or my food she's not a good alter and she works with Stripe they work closely together and try to take me down, so I drown in a massive wave of depression and suicide unable to breathe under the weight of living and the weight of my shitty past. So again, all I want to feel is the sweet relief of the pain that they make me think I deserve.

Eliza only recently came back as taking over, so the person does not know anything about her really has never experienced her first hand.

I realized at this point of the blog that I can't add pictures to blogger or tumbler so funnn I'll add my YouTube channel where I will post pictures of them there.

Another update as I'm editing I will upload it when I have a chance.

Cody

He is the protector of my alters he comes out to protect me he's kind caring he took over when terrible events happened in my life he represents my creative side he is also my anxiety the part of me that feels anxious. He doesn't do what Stripe does and make me anxious, but he is forced to feel anxious. He takes over a lot when I'm doing coding or feel very anxious that it's overwhelming. He's friendly and looks after my other alter a lot Blue who is two.

He has only recently come back he was a part of my life in college but when Stripe came in Stripe killed a lot of my alters, and he was the only one left hence why I fell into a deep depression at that point, and Cody went.

Cody enjoys coding drawing music I gave up drawing as I believed I was shit I still do but oh well when Cody takes over that doesn't matter so drawing it is then. He takes over when he feels I'm in pain mentally, or in danger from myself, he cares a lot about me and others.

Cody is again a demon but a nice one, of course, he always is listening to music or drawing or wrestling a two year old oops. Still, he has made friends with a lot of my friends without them knowing his voice is slightly different to mine. He is anxious but very chill at the same time he has never hurt me or anyone he took over when the most traumatizing events have happened to me to save the wrath of the trauma train crashing as there was an overwhelming amount of trauma. Hence, he took some of the wrath for me to save destruction. So in a way, me and Cody share the same trauma, and we can relate even though he's in my head.

It's quite funny sometimes I forget people cannot see them so ill say to my friend 'hey look over there at one of my alters, and they have to remind me that he's not really well to them but are in my head they feel so real.

Here is what my friend said about Cody…….

"Cody is a really cool friend. When we are texting, he usually lets me know if it's him, and in-person he has a slightly different, more chilled-out voice than Dino, even when he is anxious. He also has a cool necklace on a leather cord that Dino never wears, but Cody likes to put on when he takes over. He always calls me "bro" and he's just a really nice wholesome guy, a lot like Dino to be fair, but they're very clearly different people."

Blue

Okay so here we go blue is a two year a lot alter shes hyperactive and energetic she is called blue because when she first started to emerge, I used to just laugh and be unable to talk or anything so being a computer nerd, I named her blue after the Blue screen of death every ICT students nightmare…*shivers*

So yeah that's how she got her name, and oh yea did I mention she can set things on fire… well yeah, she can she sets Stripe on fire a lot shes scared of him, but sometimes she gets the courage and will not hesitate to set him on fire…and her attention span oh looks a tree where was I forgot? Oh yeah, attention span she doesn't have one. I think she's incapable of having one she is very close to my friend and also Cody my other alter I talked about him above unless you lazy bugger have skipped down to this bit then you don't know but find out read above.

But yeah that's blue.

Here is what my friend said about Blue….

"Blue is ADHD as in she is the personification of ADHD. She's a really cute little two-year-old, but she doesn't have any concept of consequences for her actions, and no impulse control so she can be tricky to manage, especially when she's excited. We recently got her a pacifier to suck on and she always tries to get it as soon as she's in control. She's also obsessed with balls, so we got her a big, yellow bouncy ball too. Me and Dino spent hours building a fort once, which Blue managed to completely demolish in about five seconds. Her response was to say "oops" laugh her ass off, and then giggle "bye-bye" with a massive, very proud grin, and collapse, leaving Dino to wake up and be very, very confused about what the fuck was going on. As difficult as she can be to manage (she's a two-year-old with the strength of a twenty-year-old, it's a fight to keep her from tearing the building apart) she is a really, wholesome, and adorable little kid. I love Blue very, very much, and she actually calls me "Dada" which is pretty cute."

So there you go my alters. Welcome to my brain there are five people in my head including me it gets crowded sometimes and annoying when you're trying to rest, and all you can hear is a two year a lot screaming ball every 5 seconds, but they are apart of me, and I would not change them for the world well maybe stipe and Eliza but at the same time they make me who I am today they are me in my head they are my personality.

DID is a strange mental illness to have its strange to have five people in my head anytime another could emerge I used to have more but Stripe killed them I had Rosie and mae. Rosie was like blue and mae was like Cody, but they aren't there anymore who knows they might be hiding like Cody did I kind of hope so I miss mae she was based off of a character out of a night in the woods I do miss her but oh well.

So there you go another blog of reasons I should be institutionalized because I am a danger to myself and could kill myself at any given moment.

Disclaimer that's a kinda joke…… mostly ……90%......... Nah……….99%... #Mentally unstable...fun.

Stay strong you bootiful bean.

Love you

Dino the Dyslexic Blogger xxx

Some helpline as usual for DID

Nhs https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/dissociative-disorders/

This morning (I know I know but it looks helpful… don’t judge me) https://www.itv.com/thismorning/dissociative-disorders-helplines

Mind- https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/dissociation-and-dissociative-disorders/dissociative-disorders/

Survivors network https://survivorsnetwork.org.uk/resource/dissociative-identity-disorder-d-i-d/

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sh-lan · 7 years ago

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OMFG LAST QUARTER EVER + some spring break stuff???

Took a weekend off of life Retail therapy at its finest today Even though new jeans were overdue

It’s crazy how it still came I guess it’s a force of nature But omg it’s gonna be here on the concert T^T

This nerd would have mitsuha’s theme on his playlist smh #nochu

April 2nd, 2017 BTS Wings Tour I still can’t believe it happened I’ve been awake since 8am lol and it’s like 1:54am and i’m still trying to process and remember everything that happened today It felt like a dream! I can’t believe I saw them in real life. ohmygod Hands down, easily one of the best day of this week - if not this entire year so far holy shit will continue this tomorrow as i reminisce ok but one thing i noticed is that jungkook’s thighs are actually so real like wtf? shookt EDIT: lol i never finished this but oh well

oop i just bought more rings goodbye money

my charger broke gg time to get another one

I have a newfound appreciation for the color pink or more like my appreciation for pink is coming back

When you get anxious because bts hasnt posted on twitter for 3 days but then you also know they’re resting and that they deserve this break

SPRING QUARTER LEGGO tu/th schedule let’s hope this all works well keke

week 1 recap tuesday - sees everybody in freaking AB LOL sees harry after walking out of my tdpw sees alana and dylan outside my global health class which alana is also taking, and becca and tanya lOL goes to cogs 122 to find chen screaming my name - also vania and stella <3 last class is normal - with nobody in management BUT LOL LEIGHTON ADDED THE CLASS ON THURSDAY HAHA there’s also this girl in my tdpw class who looks like lindsay lohan and her name is also lindsey but with an e cause i saw it on the email lol not a stalker

Decided to gel nails it out friday of week 1 whut whut

First attempt at 양념치킨~

been using the soundtrack of your name this past week to get over pcd it’s been a week and i still haven’t recovered T^T

went to kbbq with harry! lol week 1 sunday started at manna….having an adventure in between at manna keke “started here and ending it here?” LOL

currently craving anything strawberry

don’t understand why i need to have my email as a send&receive in order to sms to work on my laptop bb why are you being stubborn when you’ve been working fine all this time

under yuri’s recommendation, i microwaved my coffee because it was lukewarm and she called me extra LOL

i’m getting nervous about a presentation when i shouldn’t be because ?? my AB service leader self is like completely gone i wanna crawl into a hole

i just finished season 2 and 3 of htgawm in less than a week… how they gonna do season 4 i wonder

Week 2 thursday I was actually really looking forward to class today Also my rings came! Though were they worth the $50….not so sure Were they cute? Yes But not as cute as the other one T^T So i mustnt give in to temptations nowww

I found out what matcha powder mom uses to make their matcha latte Cappuccine frappe mix But it’s sadly not on amazon ):

This new tumblr function is really inconvenient cause i cant tell how many thing i have on queue brcause i have to keep switching blogs -_-

Han came to visit! Friday Papa johns Saturday Snooze brunch Infinitea Abeh hangout In n out Sunday Aquarium! Koon thai Ramen yamadaya Boba bar and then i drove him to irvine where we got coco curry! and then i drove back and he bought me milk tea with pudding

Had an epiphany It’s not anenome It’s anemone

Omg but like why dont people call spoiler alerts “spoilerts”

Started 13 reasons why with Han Finished it, tuesday week 3 Hmmm How to feel

finished strong woman park hyung sik is so…adorable? IT’S SO WEIRD. HIS AEGYO LEVEL IS INSANE

When you realize that 둘! 셋! is probably the title of the fan song because that’s what BTS always say when they introduce themselves And that BTS + ARMY forever ㅠㅠㅠㅠ I’m not crying r u crying ;___;

어떻게

Omg when you wake up for reorientation and jungkook does lives <3

highkey need to crawl into a hole tbh

You know what i want to do? Go to an olive garden Even though i know it’ll taste bad lol

Not really sure what i want… But i dont want my 4 years to be a waste ):

i….skipped out on an interview today was it the right choice i may never know

most recent ep of snk got me fucked up SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT YMIR AND CHRISTA’S RELATIONSHIP IS WHO IS CHRISTA

Lol i hella bombed my quiz GOODBYE GONNA P/NP HAHA

Week 4 weekend Fuck me in the ass i twisted my ankle and i am in irvine had to pop an advil and cruise control all the way back thank god there weren’t many cars lol 0/10 do not recommend

Slept on the couch the past two days to elevate my ankle Glad to be back in bed But i think i might be a little…sick? Fuck Need to grocery shop

Dammit i got called for jury duty

Ok but i twisted my ankle and two recruiters emailed me back the next day so was it really a loss

Week 5 i’m sick…

just watched 5 centimeters per second a little sadder than i was an hour ago

fuck i forgot that my jeans are new and i washed it and my pink shirt is ruined fml triggered

thursday after rolling over ma ankle i can finally see that it is a lil swollen and there is bruising LOL also saw an owl at school today and a bunny while leaving to go to meeting

week 5 tuesday saw two bunnies on my way out to school

I just saw two hummingbirds! 😍

I cant believe yuri and i finished twenty SMH

ABCD today Some qualitee photos were taken Im tired now

Really debating the 4th term

third day of back pain flexibility dying wow what is happening???

…..army 4th term is $75 cries EDIT: it’s $66 because i forgot exchange rate but still cri EDIT EDIT: it’s $45 if i ship it to taiwan - seriously really highkey considering that now oh dear

bro i think i just experienced katawaredoki whut

i keep thinking that my ankle is ok but i always end up doing something that ends up hurting it like hella im

Week 6 thursday last leadership meeting one of my favorite meetings because whoa INFORMATION!? it was nice wanted to discuss and add in my two cents but i honestly just wasn’t able to wrap my head around everything loool then…we decided to go to PB LOL chen, jeong, yuri, justin and his friends (including nicole, nicole, sandy) and then more people. we also met leslie, brett, dexter, allison, kenny, peter, abby, ben…and more? at pb lolol and also we saw miguel and anthony - it was like a freshman year flashback tbh lOL went to vallartas after and then came home to shower and finally sleep at 3:30am wot is life NEXT DAY ADVENTURES - leighton and i finally pulled out the weeds and now we’re tired

salty that i wasnt invited to the birthday celebration, not that i would really make the trip per say but wtf gurl

I just had this really sad thought that i’m probably never gonna ever get to know bts like friends y i do dis to meself

Wait so like i got sick while at clew’s and it didnt happen until week 5 and so i was sick from week 5 through week 6 and at this one point i couldnt taste my food it was terribad

May 12th I bought the membership LOL Hopefully it mails it correctly back to Taiwan ☺️

im dumb i didn’t save the color i wanted for my hair

omg the song vania recommended to me a few days ago was recommended by jungkook like a year or so ago on twitter lOOOOL

Just tryna level up here :<

Struggles when places are in the east coast and phone calls are early in the fckin morning

Note to self: Ridge cut potato chips with sea salt is good for stuff with dip Ridge cut salt and pepper is good for regular eating, but gets salty at the bottom LOL EDIT: per vania’s suggestion, i salted and peppered my chips

watching jungkook’s vlive AND HE JUST HARMONIZED WITH HIMSELF IM DED

Just woke up from a dream where someone hurt my brother/nade him fall and i was so angry? Was about to go ape shit on that person im ded lol who is rhis angry me

Rewatched and finished reply 1997 Wow what is life when yoon jae is life But also what is life when your idols are life Daily reminder to not be as obsessed as shiwon LOLOL

i can’t go to giraffage and elephante anymore im on the otherhand i get to go to virginia???

lol but like i haven’t been writing drafts because i often write in my notebook now but here are some updates - my nails are constantly chipping - forgot about grad photos that clashed with the weekend han is coming - im ded because i probs won’t have a weekend to myself until week 10 - struggles to figure out graduation things - paid my $54 to walk #mostexpensivewalkever

LAST LEADERSHIP MEETING (turnover) what am i going to do with my thursday nights now? it’s been a good run

Jealous of the staff that holds and records the camera during vlives? LOL who am i

When you forget that jeon jungkook did taekwondo before Hnnnngh

i just reaffirmed? or discovered? that i don’t like fruity pebbles o_o

Trying to think of a thing to put on my grad cap Tis hard Let’s make a list: 花樣年華 Strong power thank you You never walk alone Ireumeun deborah LOL Lol omg but why is yoongi’s “cheater never win but i just graduated” quote so appropriate for grad EXTRA + ORDINARY* Lost my way/found my way* Click clack to the bang Smile with me, cry with me, fly with me (you make me begin, you made me again) Ctrl+c, ctrl+v do you know “____” (hci? annyeonghasaeyo) To lose your path, Is the way to find that path* 꽃길만 걷자* Let’s fly with our beautiful wings in 2017 EDIT: i’m too lazy, i didn’t do anything to my cap lOL

Im shookt cause namjoon doesnt say 이제 feelin the vibe. HE SAYS IF YOU FEELIN THE VIBE. I feel…betrayed

Non whitewashed bangtan gives me life

May 21st My first haircut since… Since i got it cut over the summer?????

Bought me stole and tassel today Smh that i cant grab my muir tickets?? Cause i ordered all commencwment tickets SMH

Lowkey afraid of not passing mgt LOL

Omfg i knew we were going to have a pop quiz. It really happened

nicole and evelyn commented that they liked my hair and audrey and malia agreed i gotta say i’m so glad people remember me in my tdpw class LOOL

Cant get the seventeen song outta my head Shookt by the choreography

Y'all im so fckin shookt First the chainsmokers post on twitter like “see you in the summer” Then they win the BBMAs like a boss Then you see them on halsey + steve aoki’s snapchat Next things you know steve aoki is postin shit like “BTS x AOKI COMING SOON” Im SCREAMING

Yo my lyft driver dropped some knowledge again and told me his life story lmao he was a police officer in chicago and he was forced to retired and then ?? after chasing down a rapist and getting into a fight, he was seriously injured. but his dad (a judge or someone powerful idk) forced him out of retirement by telling everyone to not give him his benefits and shit and i was like. whoa bro. slow down? “embrace the unknown”

I finally tried the coconut black tie at peet’s 10/10 a mistake

Okay but can we talk about how on point everybody looked in the comeback Esp wonwoo and dk But also vernon 👌🏼

First time in virginia/ being so close to washington dc! Whoa Also gonna pass by texas too :O Knocking some states off my list

I WITNESSED MY FIRST CIRCLE RAINBOW THINGY ON THE PLANE FROM VIRGINIA TO DALLAS TODAY HOLY IT WAS V COOL

i don’t know why i never realized this about myself before but i need to be/live by a body of water at all times or i won’t feel comfortable this is weird

i told han i joined the fanclub and he like died for like 2 seconds lOL

ok but like i bought a carton of eggs and 6 or 7 of them were double yolks and i have 2 more eggs left im starting to think i’m eating some weird hybrid chickens EDIT: those last two eggs were both double yolks. this was a wild adventure

omg i knew that the TA MOST LIKELY RYAN WOULDNT UNDERSTAND OUR IDEA JUST LIKE HOW HE ALWAYS MISINTERPRETS THEM??? like what kind of constructive feedback is that if he doesn’t understand what we’re trying to do im… sigh

Already excited about the festa But like omfg they released the schedule today And just WE DONT TALK ANYMORE PT 2?? SO FAR AWAY FEATURING JIN AND JUNGKOOK? Im IM SCREAMING also sad but the radio show is right before my finals gotta prioritize, no bts fo me ;__;

after waiting two weeks, my application to get leveled up was rejected *cries* time to try again! *^*

okay but really feeling seventeen’s song as well as suran’s song like hIGHKEY

i finally got my commencement tickets the third time that i went to the bookstore third time’s the charm right? also whytf is the parking pass for all campus commencement so huge -_-

hnngh omg that feel when you have hella shit to do TPDW1 final play due week 9 friday because we won’t have class at all on week 10 then there’s the presentation (elevator pitch) that happened today week 9 thursday but also just hauling ass on things for A5 tbh what is this what is everything wot is the meaning of life when vania and i stay up till 3:30am lol… and then there’s me. tired af but didn’t sleep til 4:30 anyways cause i’m a dumbass l e l let’s not be a potato this last week k?

burger king in pc has its own free wifi called WhopperWifi and it’s so much faster than school wifi this is revolutionary

week 9 weekend to irvine irritated on the way over irritated on the way back lol wot is life i should’ve just turned around to go back home

NO TDPW1 WEEK 10 WOOT wow that means i won’t have class until 2pm whoa

“why are you reading math formulas” - yuri i was actually reading bts profiles lOLOL she just dissed their handwritings

Just spent the past hour or so looking at kakao friends merchandise And discovering that apeach is a genetically modified peach lol

that moment when you ask for a png file but get a jpg

dyed my hurr twice today for a darker shade still not what i was going for but this will do for now

Omfg i slept through my alarm until 1pm Goodbye study time?? Also omg i like it pt 2 video SHIT SHIT SHIT THEY KNOW WE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS. HAD IT SINCE BAEPSAE DAYS. BUT DIDNT RELEASE IT. Freakin bighit

My request to level up on the fancafe has once again been rejected ); EDIT: oMFG IT’S BECAUSE I DIDN’T CHANGE THE SETTING TO SOMETHING im screaming, what a first world problem THIRD TIME’S THE CHARM AMIRITE

Doesnt feel like it… But thursday was my last time going to class…pretty much like ever unless i go to more school Holy shit

Oh man I didnt think i’d have THAT much shit. But…i think i have A LOT of shit….

saw bts MBIT and i was like omfg! knew that i was INFJ but took the test again yesterday and ended up INFP….but just barely P so i think i’ll stick with INFJ lol EDIT: i took the test again today because vania and yuri were talking about it again and i am still INFP…and more P this time. SO LOST. WHO AM I

put my things up for sale i forgot that i might need my light el oh el crying on the inside cause i want to keep my desk but then i’m selling it off because i don’t think i’ll have space for it and i just CRYING ON THE INSIDE BECAUSE IT’S BEEN WITH ME FOR SO LONG T^T

ON ANOTHER NOTE. THIRD TIME IS THE CHARM LEVELED UP ON JUNE 12TH AT ONE SOMETHING AM

JUNE 12TH FINISHED MY FIRST AND LAST FINAL I AM OFFICIALLY DONE WITH MY UNDERGRADUATE CAREER??? also lmao i spent 45 min on the final wot

i dyed my hair darker but now it’s become lighter? wait wtf wait no go back EDIT: wait no it went back to being dark? is this a thing? when i get exposed to the sun it gets lighter and when i sleep it gets darker??? smh at light for fckin with me

so i set an alarm to watch the bts home party last night for like 3:57am and i didn’t hear it but i guess i kinda did cause i woke up at 4:05am and was like ??? i decided to watch a bit of it but ended up streaming the whole thing until 5:45am looooool also watched the numbers grow from the 500,000 all the way to 2,000,000 and then 3,000,000? it was nuts

omfg all these years of rereading chapters and only now do i realize that i could save bookmarks on mangahere *slaps forehead*

Moment of silence cause i sold my desk that’s accompanied me for almost 10 years It even has battlescars (aka X marks by Jacky, 3 of them) LOL memories ;___; Oh and i guess my chair too

lol was gonna sell that yamaha guitar for $45 but it’s going for like $190 on ebay?? so ima just bring it home

finals week hangout list: tuesday: fud with kimberly, peyton, harry wednesday: more fud with stephanie and ellius thursday: KBBQ FOR LUNCH with jeong, justin, yuri, harry LOOOOL

and so...that’s the end of the quarter. my last quarter of school ever (unless i decide to go to more school...which seems unlikely as of right now) it feels weird.................................. but! onto graduation~ looking forward to being reunited with family and whatever’s gonna hit me in the face LOL

and with that goodbye undergrad, hello world ㅇㅅㅇ

#mumble mumble #last #spring quarter mumbles #debs in college #homg #it is over

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