#edit: added a bit discussing mist’s personality

[crazysnor1ax]

Ong Snorlax ACTUALLY making a proper post for their agents??? Unreal

Meet the chirren!! Infodumps about them under cut (there is A LOT):

Azure (Captain 3)

21

She/they

Bi

Main: Inkbrush

Before becoming Agent 3 and eventually the leader of the NSS she lived in a rural suburb on the outskirts of Inkopolis with her parents and two older brothers. Upon deciding to move to the city to pursue her interests in an education and ink battles, she was not ready for city life at all. It took her a good while to adjust, with the Squid Sisters helping her do so after they met. Though she still has school and work outside of the NSS she's extremely committed to the group; despite this she was still hesitant to be leader when Cuttlefish offered, insisting she wasn't a good leader (and she still isn't). However, her determination to do well for the group has worked out for both her and everyone else.

Azure's personality is best described as wild, yet very relaxed. She gets excited easily but is very go-with-the-flow most of the time. Despite this she's reclusive, and isn't comfortable talking with new people; though she's very talkative with her close friends and family. Besides the Squid Sisters (who are basically her older sisters) she's closest with Mist, having been dating for roughly 5 years now.

Random facts:

She's an artist/illustrator

She let Mist move in with her after the events of Octo Expansion, and now they're inseparable (oh my god they were roommates)

Her tentacles are dyed! that's why they're Like That

Her right eye sometimes changes colors to how it looked while she was "hijacked" by Tartar. It's uncontrollable, and is tied to Azure's hormone levels; meaning, it usually happens when she experiences some strong emotions or is exercising.

Certified epic gamer (loves Pokemon)

[Fun fact, Azure used to be my sona and is one of my oldest ocs! She used to share my name before I eventually decided to make her her own character.]

Koa (Agent 4)

23

He/Him

Cishet (in a good way tho i prommy)

Main: Dapple dualies

Koa's a bit of a wild case. His family moved to Inkopolis from another country just before he was born, but he still shares the accents they all have. Being raised alongside 4 rowdy boys and an equally rowdy single dad (who's another oc I have), he's VERY loud and very, very energetic. he gets wound up very easily and will start yelling over the smallest things. Prior to meeting the NSS he didn't smile a lot and would actively try not to due to the environment he was raised in; as a kid he'd get teased by his brothers and dad if he got overly excited about things. Though they were only playing with him he didn't take it that way when he was young, and it stayed with him. No need to fear!-The NSS has helped him open up immensely.

Random facts:

Doesn't do much outside of the NSS besides go to school, but he does have several hobbies.

Plays the drums. Mist's little sister plays the guitar, and they hang out frequently and jam together.

Does gymnastics

Will not wear a shirt ever, he will fight you over it

Speaking of fighting, he wrestled with his brothers growing up and it's now something he likes to do for fun.

He doesn't play video games much but does enjoy a good fighting game.

Loves rock music

Didn't know who the Squid Sisters were prior to the NSS since his screentime had been limited heavily growing up. He also just doesn't like to watch TV or use social media much.

Now, however, he's "secretly" the biggest SS fan out of anyone in the group.

Mist (Agent 8)

21

She/her

Lesbian

Main: Undercover Brella

[I'm still working on revising Mist's lore, so take her backstory with a grain of salt.]

Ah, yes, the tragic backstory character. Mist and her little sister, Jett, lived a rather okay life as Octarians-well, as good as it gets being underground, anyway. Mist was raised to be an engineer and Jett a construction worker for stages and weapons. Around the events of Splatoon 1 Mist's mother contracted a disease and wasn't able to survive it. Making matters worse was the death of her father a few months later, from broken heart syndrome. Mist was left to raise her sister as well as deal with the very obvious emotional trauma the deaths left on both her and Jett. Not long after that was Mist affected by the Calamari Inkantation, leaving her to question Octarian society and how it ran. Eventually she left for Inkopolis, seeking a better life; thus, Octo Expansion occurs. However, the memories of her parent's passing and leaving her sister wouldn't resurface until much, much later.

Mist learned Inkling shockingly quick and is now fully fluent, aside from the occasional grammar error. As mentioned earlier, she lived with Azure after Octo Expansion and fell in love, and now the two hate to be apart during the events of Splatoon 3.

She’s easily the kindest out of the entire group and a strong optimist, sometimes to the point where it’s annoying. Mist believes everyone deserves kindness and she loves to help others in any way she can. Despite this, when people push her boundaries she’ll fight back in the most reserved, collective way possible. She doesn’t give bullshit and she won’t take any, either.

Random facts:

Violinist

She doesn't like working with machinery anymore, but she works for Sheldon repairing weapons to help pay rent and groceries. it's helping her cope, fortunately!

Mist speaks exclusively in positive connotation-meaning that rather than saying something like "This is bad," she would say "This is not good." She always uses positive words, not negative ones.

Surprisingly spiritual. Really interested in a variety of religions and learning about them

Meditates a lot! Her and Azure's apartment almost always smells like incense

Undeniably the most skilled agent when it comes to combat.

Sting (New Agent 3)

19

They/xey/drip/drips

Demisexual, Genderqueer

(subject to change) Main: Krak-On Roller

Drip was raised by salmonids after a mix-up between the Octarians and Salmonids occured and an infant octoling ended up with them. Fortunately, salmonids are very intelligent (much to the disbelief of many), and raised drip close to inkling society so drip could get a taste of where drip’s supposed to live. After growing up and deciding to live in Splatsvill, drip took on the profession of a graffiti artist to help make the city look more vibrant, sometimes illegally (but that's part of the fun for drip).

Xey're feral. Quite literally. Being raised by violence-loving salmonids will do that to you. Xey're far from uncivilized, though , so xey're feral in the classiest way possible. It's not uncommon to see xem doing something "weird" in the most calm and collected manner possible (like eating Alterna snow, eating grass, casually carrying things in xeir mouth). Xey’re also a fashionista and cares a lot about staying fresh and on top of things, but enjoys having fun when the time calls for it. Xey’re more serious than the other agents, but xey're learning to take it slow, thanks to them.

They have an unnatural love for ink battles compared to the other agents as well. They can get insanely heated during battles and they care a lot about their rank. They won't admit it, but it's because they were taught to love battle, being essentially a kid to salmonids.

Random facts:

Because salmonids honor dying, they love getting splatted in ink battles. It's a rush for them.

Visits their salmonid guardians frequently! They had a shack above water where they raised them. They haven't died in battle yet and Sting teases them about it

Sting's full name is The Stinging Rain Shower Born in Octopia.

Banned from Grizzco. Drip tried to steal power eggs and golden eggs from the place and was very, very quickly banned. Drip would boycott it even if drip wasn't, though.

Sees Lil' buddy as xeir sibling, and secretly hopes xey won't have to say goodbye someday when xey find its home.

Made a small, functional gas mask for Lil' Buddy while they graffiti!

Saving up money to get a prosthetic arm, but Sheldon is also researching and working to make one for drip.

LOVES grunge and whatever genre salmonid music is

[lord-explosion-baku]

Disconnect

Yandere!Shinsou x reader

Warnings: yandere, adult themes, bordering Stockholm syndrome, hints of dubious consent

A/N: here’s another fic I posted and deleted a bit ago, but I edited it and revamped it a bit. I was in a weird place when I wrote this, but it’s content! Gonna stop impulsively deleting shit😂

“Are you in love with me?”

What a pathetic question. You know it is, but it’s been on your mind all damn day. That, amongst other things. Insecurities have been bombarding your brain and consuming your thoughts. They’re the kind that you’ve managed to repress for years, but today, while bored of all the nothing you had to do while Shinsou was away, they came at you full force, as if they were paying you back for forgetting about them.

Before Shinsou took you, happiness had been perpetually evasive. Some days you could pretend like it had been there, but that had just been a trick of the mind—a phantom emotion that muzzled how you’d actually been feeling.

The truth is, your friends—your family—everyone you know has always simply tolerated you. You could go to them when you were feeling down, but they never really wanted to hear your qualms. They’d always tell you anything you needed to hear to get you to stop whining. There’d been an art to ignoring how they grimaced at your attempted humor and hope for you to stop trying. They never wanted to hear about your interests or aspirations, either—most of them were too big for you anyways—but they would smile and wait for you to finish prattling on, then exhale with relief when it was over.

So, it hadn’t been like you could tell them how you felt, lest you wanted to risk being a ceaseless nuisance.

Some days you’d wondered if they wouldn’t mind if you just disappeared. Now you find yourself wondering what they think now that you have.

It’s fine. Rather, it had been fine when you were around them. However, the more time you’re forced to spend with Shinsou, the more you realize how unhappy you used to be.

You can’t say you’re happy now, either. With the reality of your situation, you’d actually have to be insane to say that you’re happy. A caged bird could never thrive if he couldn't fly. But Shinsou has been the first person that wanted to hear you talk about anything and everything. He wants to know you—to be there for you. He actually asks about your likes and dislikes, how you’re feeling, what he can do to make things better, while you’ve always been reluctant to answer him.

Still, you want to know. You want to be sure. You can assume that he does love you. Afterall, he’s taking care of you right now.

Earlier, he sensed that you were stressed and offered to give you a massage. Normally you would slink away from his touch, but you were feeling weak, so you said yes. You have to admit that having him touch you is... nice.

A deep groan escapes your chest when he presses on a particularly tense spot in your back, so he rubs the area more, making sure to massage all of your anxieties away. He leans down low to press his lips against the shell of your ear. You can feel the curl of his mouth when he says, “that’s a stupid question.”

I know. You want to tell him that, but you won’t. You won’t open up to him. You know he’d like that too much. It’s ironic, really. The one person who wants you to open up to them and it’s the last person on earth you’d want to tell anything too personal to.

“I wouldn’t have asked it if I didn’t need to hear the answer.”

“You wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t in love with you,” he counters.

Touché, asshole.

“So the moment you fall out of love with me, you’re going to let me go.”

You very nearly say ‘you’re going to kick me out,’ but it’s not like you’re simply visiting with him. You’re there against your will. He's your captor, you’re his prisoner.

“That’s not going to happen.”

“But if it does-“

“It won’t.” Shinsou begins kissing down your spine. “Getting you here was a drag, but I won’t be letting you go under any circumstances.”

“Why?”

Darks skepticism envelopes his timbre when he asks, “why, what?”

You can't blame him. There’s been plenty of one-sided conversation where you’ve practically begged to be released, only to have Shinsou give you the cold shoulder. This won’t be another one of those discussions. You couldn’t bear it.

“Why do you like me?”

“Why do I like you, or why am I in love with you?”

You think about it for a second and decide to hell with it. You threw your dignity out the window the second you asked your first question. You hide your face in the pillow and mutter, “both.”

Shinsou hums against your back, pretending to consider the question while he squeezes your hips, pressing his thumbs into either side of your tailbone.

“Oh, god,” you sigh, pushing your ass up so he presses deeper on you, “that feels so good.”

“Reason one as to why I like you-“ Shinsou moves his hands down to your ass. He kneads your muscles, partly because he knows you want it, but mostly because he loves handling your ass- “you sound like that when you moan.”

“Be serious!” You bark back half-heartedly, because he seriously knows how to give a good massage, and you can’t stay annoyed when he’s touching you like that.

“I’m being plenty serious. It’s hot.” He squeezes your bottom, adding just the right amount of pressure to get you to moan again. He chuckles and thumbs the side of your underwear, letting it snap back to your skin pap! “So hot.”

“So, you like me because I’m hot?” You exhale when he squeezes more lotion onto your back, the cool sensation making goosebumps rise on your skin.

“Well-“ there’s a shrug in his voice when he makes his way back up to your spine-“it’s one of the reasons.”

Shinsou begins listing things he likes about you: the curl of your hair, the dip in your hips, the curve of your ass, the way your nose scrunches up when you smell something you think is going to be nice, but is actually unappealing, and that “cute little mole in that one place,” he suggests, “you know, the one I like to kiss…”

It’s all almost nice to hear, except they all have one thing in common: they’re all physical. You won’t always look like what you do now. You don’t think that Shinsou is so superficial that he only judges you on your appearance, but you can’t stop the swelling in your chest.

“And I especially like your neck,” he whispers at the column of your throat, right before licking a stripe up to your earlobe. You shudder when he smiles against you. “So sensitive…”

“So that’s it?”

You’re being negative, demanding even, and you shouldn’t feel bad about it because it’s with Shinsou, but you do. You need to hear more. You need to feel like you matter.

“There’s loads more, but this is what I’m focusing on right now. My partner’s half naked in front of me and I’m only human.”

You turn to face him, maneuvering the pillow your head was on to the front of you, hiding Shinsou’s eyes both from your chest, and from the tears you’ve left behind.

“What about when I change?” You ask, squeezing your fluffy shield against your stomach.

“What do you mean?”

“Like-“ you bow your head, fiddling with the fringes on the pillow- “I don’t know. If I’m gonna be stuck here forever, then obviously I’m gonna age.”

Shinsou frowns. “So?”

“So...I won’t always be-“ you make a flippant gesture at him-“your version of hot!”

He snorts. “My version of hot? What’s that?”

“You tell me!”

He shakes his head, laughing as he brings his hand to the back of his neck, looking sheepish. “You’re my version of hot...it won’t matter if your hair turns silver, your skin wrinkles, you get all saggy and crinkly-“ he chuckles- “same thing’s gonna happen to me, only with my job, I might end up losing an arm or—heaven forbid—I get a scar over an eye.”

You dismiss that. “Scars can be hot.���

“Duly noted.” He smirks. “I might have to be extra reckless on my next mission. See how you react to my battle wounds.”

“Please don’t,” you say immediately. You gaze up at him to see that his usual sleep-ridden eyes have softened. Geez, he’s acting as if you said something nice to him.

“What’s going on with you?” Shinsou asks as his hand falls over your pillow shield. He tugs on it to move, but you keep it clawed to your chest. “C’mon...let me in.”

It’s hard because you want to. You want to let him in, and you’re stupid for it. At least you have the mind to shake your head at him.

“Alright then,” he says, “what do you like about me? Or should I say, do you like me?”

“No.” That part is easy enough to say. Even if it's a lie, which you aren’t sure if it is or not, you know it’s what you should say every time. Regardless of what he makes you feel, what he does for you, how he takes care of you, you’re still there against your will.

You don’t get a moment to feel guilty about saying it either, because as soon as the answer rolls off of your tongue, you freeze, unable to move or speak. Immediately you want to rebuke, tell him off, scream at him, but your body disobeys every single one of your furious demands. Shinsou hasn’t used his mind control on you too much lately, and you let yourself forget that he has it. You’re absolutely seething.

Bastard.

“I’m sorry, darlin’. I’m a slave to my own whims.” Shinsou takes the pillow away from your body. His eyes scan over your torso appreciatively before finding the dark dots stained from your tears on the fabric of your pillow. He flexes his jaw, then places the pillow back behind you.

“Lay back,” he commands, and you’re helpless to oblige.

For a moment, the two of you are still. Shinsou’s staring at you, but not in a way that’s weird...er than normal. He’s seen you naked plenty of times, so he’s not being entirely a pervert. It’s only when he rolls down to level his face with yours, you see that there’s mist in his eyes.

“You’re intelligent,” he says, placing a hand over your navel, “and not in a way that’s annoying. You can hold stimulating conversations, and you think...differently, but you’re also interested in listening to divergent viewpoints.”

Shinsou starts moving his hand in circles, using his fingertips to draw intricate designs across your skin.

“You don’t know how to make a proper playlist, so when you listen to music, the weirdest shit comes on, and you sing along to all of it. And you’re so bad at singing, but you belt that shit out like you don’t even care.”

You kinda wanna hit him. You kinda wanna laugh. You kinda don’t wanna accept that you've gotten comfortable enough around Shinsou to actually sing around him, even if it’s in the goofy voice that you use.

“You’re kind to animals, you laugh in your sleep, you yell at inanimate objects, and you always read the last page of a novel once you’re halfway through it, which is infuriating, but it’s because you get so excited that you can’t stand not knowing what’s going to happen.”

Shinsou brings his hand up to cup your face. “You piss me off. You challenge me. You’re stubborn and defiant and abrasive and I-“ he pauses, sighing- “and I love it. I love every part of you—vexing vices and valorous virtues.”

He leans down so that his lips are a hair away from yours. His voice is tight, raspy from something he’s holding back, but still, he speaks. “I know I’m fucked up for this. I know you hate it here, but there’s no way in hell I’d ever let anyone else have you. You’re so fucking weird, and beautiful, and angry. You’re precious to me, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that I’ll always be in love with you. And that means damning you to me. I would say that I’m sorry, but I’m not. At least, not for keeping you. You’re the only thing I've ever wanted—the only sin I don’t regret.”

Your brain is ocean fog when his lips meet yours. He kisses you softly, because he doesn’t want to bring you out of your stupor just yet. His fingers travel down your sides, resting at the waistband of your panties. He pulls back and eyes you deviously.

“And if you don’t like me yet, I guess I’ll have to deal, but that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna keep gunning for your affection.” He smirks, hooking his thumbs around the sides of your briefs. Your entire body flushes in direct reaction to him, anticipating what comes next. It doesn’t go unnoticed.

With a devilish glint in his indigo eyes, he smirks up at you and says, “at least I know some things you love about me”

[still-a-morosexual-help]

OBEY ME! LESSON 58 DETAILED SUMMARY + DISCUSSIONS/THEORIES

*I wrote this days after the lesson was first posted and never bothered to go back and edit it so meaning there will be me theorizing about the next lesson as well

*I write a small para for each chapter and I write it immediately after finishing that chapter so there’ll be theorizing about the next chapter too

*I swear more than usual here

*Some of the dialogue is heavily plagiarized and a few is lifted directly from the story, the game is to figure which is which.

*Summaries and Discussions/theories for all the other lessons can be found on this blog under #obey me spoilers or #my theories or #my headcanons

This has two locked chapters. So I usually play one chapter and then write a summary for it and then play the next and so on, I don’t come back and edit the summaries or theories I write but this lesson is special enough that I had to come back and write a special intro to it. Hoo BOY! is this something! You think it’s gonna go the usual way with MC solving the problem demon by demon with each of them having some wacky fear and it is like that for a while until it nosedives into TRAUMAtm and ISSUEStm territory and becomes surprisingly dark. And for someone who loves speculating and coming up with theories this whole lesson was a goldmine, Enjoy!

Black mist swirls around the hall, Mammon & Levi shriek and the hall starts rattling until the mist forms pissed off demon Lucifer which makes Asmo yelp (and this is what I mean, the greatest common fear in this group (if you don’t consider Simeon and Lucifer) is probably pissed off demon Lucifer but on their own they’ll probably have different fears.) Levi stutters out that it’s lucifer and real lucifer tells him to calm his tits cause the he is actually with them. MC identifies it as the bogeyman (genius) and it starts shrieking for Mammon and Levi, which leads to Mammon screaming and Levi closing his eyes and chanting ‘no’ as they cling on to Belphie as the entire hall rattles again. Solomon happily tells MC ‘Welp there’s your exam, deal with it.’ Simeon’s slightly more helpful and tells them staying calm is the key. MC says they can do that. Solomon laughs and says that’s the answer he’d expect from his talented apprentice. MC uses a spell “light born of shadow” to repel the spirit, the spell and the spirit makes the wind howl and the hall shake and the spirit growl/groan. To escape the spell it flees into one of the hotel rooms and the hall suddenly becomes eerily quiet. Mammon collapses to his knees and Levi, with his eyes still closed, says he lost 500yrs of his life. Neither of them have still let go off Belphie. Lucifer calls them pathetic for being demons scared of a bogeyman (bro they’re scared of *you* akjdvkdfjjjkdn) Mammon snaps and says he ain’t scared of the bogeyman and Satan asks how he can say that after what they all saw. Levi says it’s not the bogeyman it’s a fully pissed off Lucifer he’s scared of. Mammon still insists he’s not scared. Levi tells him to shut up cause he was so scared he couldn’t stand, Mammon says he just wanted to sit down for a bit. Lucifer calls them pathetic again and Levi protests. Lucifer then says they must find a way to get rid of it for good cause it’ll start to come after each one of them individually. MC says maybe they can admit what they’re all afraid of so that they’ll know what they will be facing ahead of time. Solomon agrees with this plan and tells them to start with the oldest and work their way down, listing their fears. Asmo calls Solomon out on using this as an excuse to find Lucifer’s weaknesses to use later. Solomon smiles and says he’d never do that, Belphie says the look on his face suggests different. Beel says that there’s probably nothing that scares Lucifer and Lucifer says that nothing comes to mind (and this feels like when you’re a child and think your parents are all knowing and invincible only to get a sometimes painful reality check later). Mammon says he doesn’t get scared, Levi calls him a liar and says pissed off demon Lucifer scares him and then he goes on to list fears based off being an otaku (eg: the final ep of a series he loves and etc). Simeon cuts Levi off as his list grows and asks Satan. Satan straight up says “Nothing scares me.” And Simeon smiles and says it takes a lot of confidence to say that (yeah even Lucifer said that in terms of a greatest fear “nothing comes to mind” implying he’s felt fear before and probably had moments of ‘greatest fear’ too. Satan just straight up says nothing at all scares him and I think that shows his age and experience gap compared to Lucifer. Even the way Simeon smiled and said the confidence line felt like he was indulging Satan rather than believing him). Asmo jumps and says being ugly scares him. Beel says he thought about it but he really doesn’t know (with the saddest expression on his face) but he also says a pissed off Satan and Asmo are also pretty scary. Asmo yells at Beel for calling him scary (didn’t Asmo very seriously threaten to rip MC’s heart out in S1? I feel like a lot of people forget this… I’ve seen people say Asmo and Mammon were the only ones who didn’t attack or seriously threaten MC and I’m just like no??? Asmo was definitely ready to kill them and he gets even more pissed if MC says they don’t think he’s the most attractive person. MC doesn’t get the chance to talk back when Asmo threatens them either which makes it seem all the more serious. When Mammon first threatens to eat MC after they first meet he says it in that same over the top way he said he wasn’t scared in this lesson – completely unbelievable. And MC probably catches that too cause they get to talk back and tell him that they literally give no shits about whatever he’s talking about.) Belphie says he used to be afraid of the alarm clock satan gave him which wouldn’t snooze or stop, which he threw away (I feel like they’re greatly underestimating what ‘greatest fear’ means…) Solomon asks MC what scares them the most and the chapter ends. (I HC MC as having heavy abandonment issues, of waking up and finding out this was all a dream and that they’re alone but I doubt OM!’s gonna let them say that)

Asmo’s very excited to find out about MC’s worst fears but Levi says when MC came face to face with the bogeyman and chased it away it didn’t transform which means… Levi smiles and Mammon laughs and goes ‘holy shit you’re scared of Lucifer too!? Asmo points out that Mammon said ‘too’ implying… Mammon vehemently protests. Simeon says that that Luke’s blessing is still active despite it being given some time back and it makes the Bogeyman have no affect on MC. Asmo’s shocked and asks if that isn’t really impressive. Simeon says it is and that Luke’s blessings are so powerful that it even rivals some angels’ higher up in the hierarchy (do you think that’s why Michael has such an interest in Luke despite him having no ranking?) Simeon says Luke himself doesn’t realise how special his power is and MC’s amazed by what a bright future he’ll have. Simeon says he’s looking forward to it. Belphie says once that once Luke grows up he’d be able to banish Mammon with a snap of his fingers (and ansknvjbkdc BELPHIE!? Isn’t this also a self burn you fucking idiot???? Considering Mammon’s the 2nd most powerful and you’re the 7th?????? They really do genuinely forget Mammon’s ranking don’t they?) Mammon asks why Belphie had to pick him to shit on and Levi laughs and says Mammon will totally deserve being banished by an angel. Mammon goes to murder Levi but Lucifer cuts them off saying Barbatos just messaged him saying ‘don’t fucking stand there like fucking idiots kick out the bastard that you lot are responsible for unless you’d rather me come there and rip your fucking innards out you fucking assholes’ MC picks up on a very key fact and says “He’s fucking spying in us!???” Satan says he’s probably watching them at that very moment which creeps Asmo out. Solomon says they should go after it then which has Mammon yelping and Levi protesting. Lucifer says if they all go barging in everything will devolve into chaos and that just a couple should do. Levi laughs about MC being OP cause of Luke’s blessing (love the self awareness) Solomon tells MC to pick who’ll go in with them.

Asmo’s demanding why he got picked and Mammon, smiling happily, says Asmo should consider getting hand-picked by MC an honour, Asmo says they just happened to make eye contact and MC picked him and he can’t help it if MC’s eyes are naturally drawn towards his beauty. (I just realized considering Mammon’s the one MC usually picks for stupid, dangerous adventures so he probably thought he’d get picked and he’s so smiley rn cause he’s relieved). Satan tells Asmo to suck it up and Asmo says it’s easy for them to say since they aren’t been made to go in the room. All sparkly and teary eyed Asmo cries about how his beauty ended up being his undoing. Simeon wishes MC luck and says that should anything go wrong he’ll come in. MC tells Asmo they’ll protect him, Asmo throws himself into their arms and calls them the best. Lucifer tells them to keep their guard up, even with Luke’s blessing. The hotel room looks like someone has used a negative filter on it. Inside Asmo screams and says he can’t take it and that he knows what he’ll see and that an ugly version of himself will be so bad that he’ll have a heart attack and die adding on “I’ll DIE, MC!” at the end for emphasis (wait so bullets won’t kill them but heart attacks are a possibility? Or is this Asmo just being melodramatic?). With tears in his eyes he says he gives up. MC tells him nothing will change how beautiful he is, he agrees but still struggles to argue with it. The black mist then starts forming and Asmo squeaks. With a rumble it shakes the room and transforms. Asmo starts screaming and sobbing about how ugly he looks and how it hurts his eyes. To stop Asmo’s oncoming mental breakdown MC shows him a mirror and he starts cooing over how beautiful he really is but he still says he can’t take it and runs out the room (I like to imagine the bogeyman had to do the bare minimum to make Asmo see a hideous version of himself, like anything less than perfect flawlessness would freak Asmo out.) Back outside Lucifer sounds disappointed that these are some of the most powerful demons in the devildom, Satan calls the whole thing pathetic, and Levi laughs about how they should have known not to trust Asmo with this (..I mean you wouldn’t have done any better either), Mammon mocks Asmo for calling himself a demon, Beel says he’s hungry. Asmo tells them if they’re so much braver than him they should go in. Solomon tells MC to pick the next one. MC happens to make eye contact with Belphie. Without MC even saying a word Belphie realizes what has happened. About Asmo’s fear maybe I’m making it too deep but in S1 and in other places too Asmo talks about how beautiful he was in the Celestial Realm and I always wondered if part of his obsession with his beauty now is because it’s a way to cling on to that, the last thing that he can keep unchanged after his whole world was turned on his head. I think in the very early drafts of OM!, back when the brothers had canonical demonic demon forms as well the writers said Asmo hated his, so it’d make sense after how even his actual form changed he’d cling so desperately onto the human form he shared with his past angelic self.

Belphie asks if they really need him to come, Satan says it’s not like they can let MC go in alone, Belphie says they have Luke’s blessing so they may as well throw them into the sharks (I want to say I really like sharks and am always somewhat upset by the misconception of them as these ruthless killing machines when at most they’re just idiots with bad eyesight) Lucifer says that there’s always the possibility things won’t go as planned, Belphie says then Simeon will just step in (Belphie’s trying so hard guyssss. And like I imagine a majority of it is cause he’s lazy and doesn’t want to deal with this but I also feel like a small part of him knows that something worse than an annoying alarm clock could be waiting in there. I mean your greatest fear can be very personal and for emotionally constipated idiots like this who’ve lived millions of years and fought two wars? I imagine they’d be very private about it.) Simeon says that though that’s the plan it would but an end to MC’s exam. Cause he isn’t part of their additional materials the way the brothers are, says Solomon. Beel begs Belphie to do it for him and that he wants Belphie to keep MC safe. YO! Mammon brings up my point immediately. God I love him. Looking smug, he asks if the truth is that Belphie’s trying so hard to avoid something other than an alarm clock. Belphie looks shocked, then looks to the side and says “No…”. Mammon says then Belphie should be just fine, that it’s an alarm clock and it’s not a big deal (You know and I know that Mammon knows well that it’s not gonna be just an alarm clock, what a shithead picking up on Belphie’s weakness like that and manipulating him when nothing else worked. I love him so much). Belphie agrees to go. Inside the Bogeyman is already forming and a shrill alarm clock starts ringing, until it suddenly stops and everything goes black. Belphie makes a small noise and MC calls his name. He starts asking what’s going on and where MC went, sounding more and more distressed with each question. The wind keeps whistling through. MC says they’re right there. He can’t hear them. He’s now screaming for MC to answer him. Then he starts screaming for MC and Beel. Then for Asmo, Satan, Mammon and Levi. Then for Lucifer. When he gets no reply he says, “This can’t be happening…it can’t be…I…I…” He screams that he can’t take it and that he’s scared, asking where everyone went. MC moves towards his voice and hugs him. He screams for MC and Beel to help him. The chapter ends. This whole scene is haunting. From the bitch black screen, to the whistling wind being the only thing you can hear, to hearing Belphie who’s usually so unaffected start screaming for his family just? How it all started with the shrill screams of the alarm clock which just abruptly stopped. It came outta nowhere. I honestly didn’t think they’d do something like that and I’m shaking imagining what the others might see. I’m 100% sure that Belphie used all his energy to focus on the alarm clock so that the bogeyman wouldn’t pick up on this darker fear and that’s why the alarm clock went off at first. I initially thought Belphie’s real fear will be something directly related to the second war but this makes so much more sense, it makes sense that after losing Lilith his biggest fear would be losing the rest of his family and being alone and just wow I’m??? I love that they did this. It hurt to see but it was desperately needed.

Back outside Asmo and Belphie are both silent and depressed. Beel quietly calls Belphie’s name, saying all the colour has drained from his face and asking if he’s okay. Asmo whines about how Beel only cares about Belphie and hasn’t even checked up on him. Mammon says they both do look pretty awful and Satan says they look like Levi and Mammon did after seeing Lucifer’s pissed demon form. Levi says not to even bring it up. Beel asks what happened inside the room and Belphie says nothing. Beel orders (the key word here is ‘orders’ and it’s so different from his usual self that it was great to see what he becomes when the people he loves are hurt) that MC tell him what happened (and look on one hand it’s important to keep Belphie’s privacy and to not say anything without his consent, on the other hand he will NEVER tell anyone this, something he’s been bottling up for thousands of years, and he really should talk it over with them. Personally I think they should take him aside later and talk it over with him and then if he wants let him approach the others). MC can say “the truth is that…” or “…”. For the first he gets really pissed off and yells at MC to stop. He then takes a step back and apologizes and says he doesn’t want them telling the others anything. For the second Belphie quietly thanks them. He then says it wasn’t a big deal and something happened that he wasn’t expecting. He smiles and tells Beel not to look at him like that. Beel still can’t get over it and still looks furious, saying that he doesn’t know what happened but he knows it really messed Belphie up and he’s not letting it get away with that. He says he’s gonna destroy it and calls MC after him. Inside the room it’s dead quiet. Beel says again he’s not sure what he’s scared of but even if it turns into an angry Asmo or Satan they need to attack it without any hesitation. He says that whatever that thing did to Belphie it terrified him and that they need to make it pay. All of a sudden there’s a flash of light and long groans as the room shakes and the mist forms. Beel tells MC to attack it using his power before it can transform and MC commands him, Beel says his power is theirs to command and everything he does is for them and Belphie. Beel uses a spell to send a bolt of light towards it and for a second it seems to shrink into itself before it comes back stronger and holy shit holy shit holy shit GUYS!!!!! There’s a flash of light and they’re in front of the Celestial Palace except everything is on fire asdjkjdfjcusjosdsjdj FUCK. The bolt Beel had previously sent to the bogeyman instead pierces through the chest of angel!Belphie (FUCK!!?) Beel screams and then screams for Belphie. “Don’t take away my brother too! I can’t bare to lose anyone else…!” MC tries to tell him he hasn’t lost anyone but Beel protests saying he’s attack hit Belphie and now he’s… Beel’s unable to finish that sentence. He then looks at MC and starts pleading with them not to go, again saying that he’s begging them not to go anywhere. They tell him that they’re right here with him. He tells them he’s scared. The chapter ends. AND WTF!!!!????? They really went there huh? I’ve been screaming about the trauma Lilith’s death would have lead to since maybe Mammon & Luke’s train lesson but they really are bringing it up now huh!? I’m just holy shit.

They’re back in the hotel room with the mist swirling around them and at the screams Belphie comes running into the room and tries to span Beel outta it (and isn’t it sweet given how reluctant he was to go in and how shaken up he was after that he’d come tunning in for Beel). Levi comes in next with his eyes closed and stuttering but wanting to be there for Beel, then Asmo with tears in his eyes saying they’re not gonna abandon their “adorable little brother” despite how scared they are. Mammon comes in next, red faced and also with his eyes shut and asking Beel where he is, Lucifer comes in after telling Beel to focus and stay with them. (guys they’re all such good brothers I can’t deal). Beel seems genuinely touched that they all came for him. The Bogeyman flares and seems to grow again and Satan puts himself in between it and the others, angry that it had messed with his brothers and saying it was up against him now and he wasn’t scared of anything. The think groans and the room shakes and they’re in the coliseum like place in the Devildom (the place where Diavolo said he found Lucifer with Lilith after they fell) and everything around them is on fire again. Mammon asks if it’s turning into Lucifer again and Belphie says it looks like it is. It turns in to angel Lucifer (oh boy…I actually stood up and walked away. Satan…….dude….holy shit?). Satan gasps as the reveal and I genuinely think he didn’t know it was coming unlike Belphie. The name reads Lucifer (?) and I’m gonna just directly quote what he says. Also Angel Lucifer surrounded by fire and this pale purple aura with a kinda blank yet pissed off and judgmental expression while tense lowkey creepy music plays is actually kinda scary? I think it’s the fact that he’s supposed to be an angel but he looks genuinely scarier than when it transformed into demon Lucifer… Anyway: “…Satan, you fool. It’s time you learned your place. Because in the end, you’re nothing more than an inferior copy of me. You must already realize that.” Satan growls at him to shut up but he continues, “I know you, I know how you think. Because you were modeled after me. I was the original.” Satan says, “…Stop it.” It laughs and says while smiling, “It seems you don’t want to admit it, do you? You don’t want to but you have no choice. You hate it and you hate yourself. You’re consumed with self-loathing, aren’t you?” Satan screams at it to stop. Screaming that it’s not true and then screaming shut up over and over at an increasing volume. Lucifer, real Lucifer, tries calling Satan’s name, telling him to get ahold of himself. This shocks Satan out of it for a while. Lucifer goes up to him saying, “Satan, I need you to listen to me. You and I are not the same. You’re not me, and I’m not you.” He says his hobby is music while Satan prefers reading and that Satan loves cats but Lucifer would pick dogs. “You’re not a copy of me. No… You’re my brother.” He says he’s the brother to Lucifer, the avatar of pride and that he’s Satan the avatar of wrath. He asks if that isn’t his name. Satan is speechless after that. He turns to MC and asks them to tell him who he is. “You’re Lucifer’s younger brother, Satan.” This makes him laugh. He agrees with them. Saying he’s Satan. “No one else, just Satan.” He tells MC to use their pact. MC uses a spell to lend power to Satan and he uses that for a spell to banish the bogeyman. There’s a bright flash and everything turns white. (Holy shit Satan….the fact that it was angel Lucifer who was his worst fear and not normal Lucifer, that it was angel Lucifer’s judgment he feared? And I think I said this in two of the other summaries too but Satan’s the only brother Lucifer didn’t choose. Lucifer as an angel chose all his siblings and practically adopted them into his growing family. Satan was the only one who just came along and who Lucifer had no choice but to keep. Do you think that could be one of the reasons why it was angel Lucifer he specifically feared? Everyone else was with angel Lucifer in the celestial realm and fought by his side except Satan, Satan was never even an angel. He was always a demon who angels were taught to hate. Do you think it’s possible that he thinks that if angel Lucifer had the choice he wouldn’t have chosen Satan and brought him t the family? And that’s why the fairies thought he needed to meet angel Lucifer and hear him say he wished he had a brother like Satan. Also is it just me but does Satan have imposter syndrome vibes? Like the feeling that everything he achieves is cause he’s a shade of Lucifer and Lucifer’s just naturally perfect so he always has to work even harder to be better than Lucifer to prove he’s his own person.)

They’re back in the hotel room, except now all the colours are back to normal. Mammon asks what happened, Beel asks if it was destroyed and Belphie tells Satan his last spell was really impressive, Asmo tells Satan that he’s amazing and that he made his heart race, Lucifer says it was excellent and says well done. (lowkey disappointed we didn’t see Lucifer’s greatest fear but whatever). Satan dismisses all of it, saying it wasn’t a big deal and trying to move on and turn attention on how he’s gonna convert all the leftover emotion he has after having his vulnerabilities forcefully displayed in front of everyone into anger so he can murder Levi and Mammon. The two yelp and make a break for it. The other 3 also give chase, with even Beel saying he wants to take a bite outta them, while Mammon and Levi scream about how they’re gonna get eaten (…what would the other guests think…). Solomon follows the 6 of them happily to watch the carnage. Simeon asks if Lucifer wasn’t going to chase after them and he says he’d run himself ragged if he chased after them each time they fucked up. The two of them then congratulate MC and they say they couldn’t have done it without a.) Satan. Simeon says it was them who was able to draw such immense power from him and that their talent was impressive. B.) all of them, Lucifer laughs and says that some of them weren’t any help at all. Lucifer’s smile then slips and he tells them to wait a minute and sike that bitch is back! It has barely any strength left and is making one last attempt. Everything flashes white and it transforms into a bright light streaming from the window. The next two are direct quotes. Simeon: …! That light- Lucifer: Simeon, calm down. This one’s “mine”. Lucifer transforms into his demon form, saying something that transforms into your deepest fear is something he could live without. He says, “And here I’m thinking we would never meet again.” And I feel like he’s talking to the ‘light’ and not the bogeyman they thought they killed. He tells MC to use his power. They do and Lucifer uses the same spell as Satan and the bogeyman is finally killed. Simeon is silent and looks upset. Lucifer says they killed the last of it and they should be safe. He says it’s a good thing MC was there next to him or it might have ended very badly. Simeon’s still silent and Lucifer refuses to make eye contact with him. He says he’s going to check on his brothers and says he’ll see them later. Simeon’s silent and now looks thoughtful and MC can ask him a.) If something’s wrong. He apologizes and says he’s fine and then sighs and says “Oh, am I?” b.) they wonder if Lucifer’s okay. Simeon says he’ll be fine because Lucifer is strong and then quietly adds “…unlike me…” C.) they ask what that light was. “Not what.” Says Simeon, “who…”. Okay there’s so much to talk about I think my brain died. 1st – Simeon is stunned when the light first appears and Lucifer has to tell him to calm down that the light was his fear. Which meant Simeon thought the bogeyman was reacting to him and showing him his own fear and that means Simeon and Lucifer’s worst fear is the same thing and Lucifer knew this as well. Now you could say Simeon thought this light was the real deal and not the bogeyman and that’s why he reacted that way and that’s why Lucifer told him it’s just his fear BUT Lucifer said beforehand that the bogeyman had not been killed an they all see the mist forming and the room shaking and the thing groaning before the light is formed so it’d be hard to make that mistake. Plus simeon’s “unlike me” line seals it and pretty much confirms that Simeon and Lucifer share the same greatest fear. And I said earlier that I believed the bogeyman acted on the common fear of everyone it could affect but both Simeon and Lucifer were sure it was their own fear that was taking shape, plus the bogeyman only had enough strength for one last target, so yeah the ‘light’ is definitely both of their individual greatest fears. 2nd – who was it. MC’s being talking with a voice in the light every once in a while and I always assumed it was Michael cause he seems to have the same position in the celestial realm that Diavolo has in the Devildom. But why would Michael be Lucifer’s greatest fear? It’d make more sense for Lucifer’s greatest fear to be his Father but that’d mean MC’s being chatting with God this whole time and that’s absolutely fucking insane and I’m not even gonna consider that further. So Lucifer’s greatest fear is (probably) Michael but why? Because of what he represents? Because of what happened with Lilith and their Fall? Because he could threaten Diavolo’s plans for harmony? Because of some other unknown trauma? 3rd – What happened to Simeon? We know he was a seraphim who was demoted for some reason. We know he stole from Michael and was caught and Michael called him back to face some sort of consequences. We know after this he was stationed semi-permanently in the human world for some unknown reason. We know he’s meeting with angels (probably raphael) here in the human world. But what happened that made the angels or Michael his greatest fear? What did he mean by Lucifer being strong unlike him? Personally I think despite the Celestial Realm saying they cast the brothers out, the brothers actually fled after Lilith was struck. I think Lucifer asked Simeon to come with him and I think Simeon denied him and instead helped them escape and this lead to his demotion. We know from that one devilgram that after meeting Diavolo for the first time Lucifer realizes the Celestial Realm nor his Father particularly care for peace with the Devildom, while Diavolo’s actively seeking it and that demons and the devildom are not like what he believes they are. The more Lucifer meets with Diavolo the more he learns about the Devildom and the rest of the world, as Mammon said about Luke, he learns about the real world, how the angels aren’t always right and how there’s more to everything than the Celestial Realm and so the more disillusioned with the Celestial Realm he becomes. As Simeon was his closest friend he might have relayed this all to him, or at least given a vague idea of what he’s starting to see and Simeon in turn starts seeing things from Lucifer’s perspective or more accurately he starts seeing the whole picture (and this is what Barbatos means when he says Simeon is likeable because he’s different from the other angels) unlike Lucifer though this doesn’t make him angry at or resentful of the celestial realm – it just opens his eyes up to its faults but that doesn’t mean he loves all the good parts of it any less – So when Lucifer offers him the chance to leave (the way Simeon himself sees it) he’s never strong enough to take that leap. Or that’s at least my theory of what happened till the next lessons clear it up.

Simeon is still silent and looking upset and then he laughs and apologizes because he can’t seem to stop trembling (and okay first wtf? Also so the theory about Lucifer and Simeon sharing a greatest fear was right. But also what the fuck did Michael do that’s made Simeon tremble? Though the first time the brothers spoke of Michael Mammon said he still shook thinking about his punishments… But would Michael do anything like that to someone who used to be a fellow Seraphim? Was that light really Michael or was it the Big Guytm cause that’ll be terrifying I don’t want to deal with that…). MC asks him if he’s okay. He says he appreciates their concern ands says it’s just that the light was just a sight he hadn’t seen in a long time AND WAIT!? SO IT WASN’T MICHAEL!!??? IT ACTUALLY WAS GOD!!!??? I’M WHEEZING AND NOT IN THE LAUGHING WAY WTFFFF HOLY SHIT SERIOUSLY!!!??? AND WAIT SO MC’S TALKED TO A VOICE IN A LIGHT ABOUT THRICE NOW??? WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT!??? PLS TELL ME AT LEAST THAT WAS MICHAEL!? I’D LOSE MY SHIT IF IT TURNS OUT MC’S BEING COMMUNICATING WITH GOD HELP-  I’m okay. I’m good. I took a walk. Simeon’s still trembling and MC hugs him. Simeon blushes and says humans have a strange warmth to them. He says that sometimes he wonders if MC would make a better angel than him (which supports my ‘not strong enough’ theory in the previous paragraph). He holds them back tightly. He says there’s something he wants to tell them and says I- before Asmo screaming for MC to come watch them torture Levi & Mammon cuts him off (would he confess to them again? He did it before and it seemed done when they rejected him and he backed off. I guess emotions are more complex than that). He looks upset at the interruption but covers it with a smile and says it seems like they’re wanted. He asks them to drop by the café later and says they can continue the discussion then. The two of them are hung up upside down, Mammon’s screaming to be let down and Levi’s sobbing and screaming at Mammon not to throw a temper tantrum right next to him. Diavolo says they make an interesting chandelier but that they don’t fit with their interior design. Mammon screams at him to then fucking let them down. Barbatos suggests a muzzle. Satan suggest shutting them up with their fists and Belphie says it’s too much work and that they’ll juest wear themselves out. Beel says there’s a style of cooking in the human world like this. Lucifer says these two don’t look appetizing and that he’d rather have actual churrasco. Solomon welcomes MC back and gives them the star of humility. He says they are now officially a sorcerer. Diavolo and Barbatos both congratulate them. Asmo says they’re amazing and that he’s even more smitten with them. Belphie says he’s really impressed and says good for them. Beel says he’s really happy for them and says nice going. Satan says “MC the Sorcerer” has a nice ring to it. Lucifer says well done. MC thanks them all. Solomon says nothing makes him happier than seeing his apprentice become a full-fledged sorcerer. Mammon yells that he wants to be part of the celebration too and to let him down, Levi says he’s going to be sick. And the chapter and the entire lesson ends.

[draechaeli]

Weather, Mountains, and Distance in China as Applied to the Módào Zǔshī Universe

I am a Foreign Teacher living in China and have been doing so for the last eight school years. For five and a half years I lived in Shandong Province, the same province as LanlingJin and I was a three and a half hour drive north of LanlingJin; a two to three-hour drive east and a bit south of LaolingQin; and a five to six-hour drive east and a bit north of QingheNie. For the last two and a half years I have lived in Jiangsu Province (barely) just two and a bit hours southwest of LanlingJin. But Jiangsu is the province of GusuLan and I am six hours north and a bit west of them; and not that anyone cares about MolingSu, but I’m four hours north and bit west of them. I have also travelled to every province, region, and territory that China says is China and most of those in January and February during Spring Festival Holiday. So from this experience I am going to discuss Chinese weather and a few other things that relate to the MDZS universe.

This ended up being way longer than I thought it was going to be. It was written to be read straight through. But as I’m pretty sure I’m the only one that cares and it goes through my thought process on the topic I have labelled each section so you can scroll down until you see the subheading you are interested in.

My Introduction to MDZS

My friend, told me about MDZS and the Untamed like 1 November 2019. I was at first skeptical as I have seen lots of Chinese shows playing in bars, at restaurants, or on long bus trips (the latter being where I’ve sort of had to see entire episodes and films) and generally Chinese TV shows are low on plot and have the same set character archetypes (not the point of this post so feel free to disagree, but I’m not here to argue). So honestly I was skeptical, but November is National Novel Writing Month, so even if I wanted to I hadn’t had the time. I also knew that I was going to be seeing said friend in Cambodia during Spring Festival Holiday and we would watch it then. Prior to going to Cambodia, I travelled with my Chinese friend Dean for eight days, but then he had to return home to spend Spring Festival with his family and I continued in my travelling.

I told Dean about how my friend was going to make me watch the Untamed and how it was based on a book and how it despite restrictions is still pretty gay. Dean didn’t believe me, but a couple days at home with nothing to do and plenty of wifi, and he had watched the Untamed before I could even meet up with my other friend!

Cloud Recesses in the Untamed - Mountains and Canal Cities

So that first scene where you see Cloud Recesses, I was like: oh I know those mountains! And my friend said that most of the places were really in China and sent me this map. As I continued watching well I was mostly caught up in the story but the snow kept bothering me, but there was never snow that stayed on the ground in the Untamed so I forgot it quickly. At a later rewatch I thought the Cloud Recesses mountains looked a lot like the mountains at ZhangJiaJie (the floating mountains that were the model for Avatar) in Hunan further west of where GusuLan is situated. According to the Untamed Wikipedia page the filming was done in Hengdian World Studios and Guizhou (also pretty far west). I am however a fan of climbing mountains and have climbed a lot of mountains in China, so I could be remembering mountains wrong.

Where the questions came up was fanfiction. And I have never stopped reading a fic because they talked about a lot more snow then I had ever seen in the particular area of China. And Cloud Recesses having towering mountains as they depict from afar in both the live action and the donghua. When I’m watching the mountain is a back drop, but often fics make the mountains or snow part of the plot and it’s too late because I already think of Gusu being Suzhou a very famous canal city south of me and we get like once a year two cm of snow that lasts maybe two hours. And the translator’s note at the end of Refinement Part 1 says that Cloud Recesses got its name from a phrase of Jia Dao’s poem, not the height of the mountains.

In general, I know that a lot of English fic writers just didn’t know the weather in China or perhaps hadn’t seen the map that showed you where everything in China was situated. And were using context clues like the disciples of YunmengJiang laying topless on floorboards in the summer heat in the extras from the book or the snow seen in both the Untamed and MDZS the donghua. And I had brushed it off as artistic license the height of the mountain of Cloud Recesses bugged me and made me do research for my own personal piece of mind.

I will admit I have not been to Suzhou, I skipped it when I was being a tourist in Jiangsu Province as the internet said it was a big tourist spot and could be very crowded, so I chose to go to a different canal town. Then I moved to Xuzhou in Jiangsu. And in Chinese the biggest thing is said first so I would have to say in Chinese when asked where I was moving to or later where I lived: Jiangsu, Xuzhou. The other thing I didn’t know despite having studied Chinese in college, that I learned from Dean when I complained about this problem is that all Yu (Yu, Yue, Yun, Yuan) and Xu (Xu, Xue, Xun, Xuan) no matter the tone are pronounced with a umlaut on the u so: Yü, Yüe, Yün, Yüan, Xü, Xüe, Xün, and Xüan. So, despite the fact that I pronouncing (disregarding tone for the following examples, and written by use of correlating English words and names) Xuzhou as Shoe-joe every Chinese person thought I said Suzhou (which I would say as Sue-joe). So, I heard a lot of: “Suzhou?! It’s so beautiful! And with all the water!” never anything about mountains.

Now, Guilin, Guangxi is a city that is absolutely gorgeous and has a lot of mountains, there is one called the Solitary Beauty Peak (152m), which is literally a vaguely rectangular mountain, with very sheer faces (and steep stairs carved in to get to the top), in the middle of a very flat expanse (behind the yellow building in the picture - January 2014).

Which means that similar mountains could be in Suzhou. And Gusu was named after Gusu Mountain so I did an exhaustive search with multiple map apps, google, and baidu to find the mountains in Suzhou and their heights. In the end the mountains in Suzhou are not very tall.

 Practical Experience with Snowfall in China

My first year in China my city got snow in December, maybe about 10 cms, but it was cold enough that it didn’t melt; and so we had snow for pretty much the whole winter with a sprinkling of a couple more cms added here and there. That year, I went to the Great Wall in the winter and signed up to go to Mutianyu a section of the wall pretty far from Beijing (north of all places in MDZS), but we couldn’t get to it due to snow, so we went to another section, Juyongguan, which wasn’t snowed out and it didn’t have too much snow on it maybe just a couple cms of snow built up in corners of steps and the like. That was the last time we really got snow that stayed. A few years later we got maybe a few cms but not a lot of snow. When I went to Sichuan (in 2014; where MeishanYu is) I remember leaving the Chengdu airport in a car and looking out the window to see snow dusted palm trees, something I had thought I really wouldn’t have ever seen, but that was probably the most snow that I had seen for that trip. The 12th edition of the China Lonely Planet book does state that the canals of Suzhou are very beautiful covered in snow in December. But based on how I’ve seen less snow further north than Suzhou makes me wonder how consistent it is.

Temperatures on Mountain Tops in China

I went to U��rümqi, Xinjiang the very tail end of June in 2019. July is the hottest time in Xinjiang and the temperature while I was there was generally about 30-45°C. One day I went to Tian Chi a lake in the Heavens Mountain (Tianshan) range, the lake is below the Peak of God (Bogeda Feng) that according to my Lonely Planet is a 5445m peak. Which now that I’m looking at the book, I know I hadn’t before going to Ürümqi, because the book says to bring warm clothing and I hadn’t. I took a tour bus up to the lake (I think that is the most common option. And around the lake it didn’t feel as hot as it was down in Ürümqi and when I went to take the cable car most of the way up Bogeda Feng, I remember seeing winter jackets for rent. At that moment I thought it was strange and pointless in the warmest time for the area despite that it was definitely getting chilly enough that I put on the light jacket (that prior to that point was mainly for sun protection) on. When I got out of the cable car near the top it was definitely cold. Many of the other hikers were in winter jackets and as you climbed up to the peak your breath definitely misted like it was winter! But that is the only time that has happened to me climbing mountains in China. I climbed Huangshan a mountain in Anhui, west and a bit south of Gusu. It has an elevation of 1873m and I climbed it in May, and there was no discernible temperature difference between the top and the bottom of the mountain.

The Yangtze River – divider of whether your home is heated or not

The Yangtze River is what China uses as a divider of north and south China. In the present day this is seen as whether or not your home gets central heating in the winter. When I lived in Shandong province (north of the Yangtze), the central heating was turned on 1 November and turned off the 1 March (I think, I’m remembering that correctly). Each province decides how cold it is and for how long and has different rules for central heating. No matter what you don’t have control over the temperature of the central heating, and everyone has to survive with an AC/Heating mounted wall unit, and/or portable heaters.

Jiangsu is a province that the Yangtze cuts through, which means you might get central heating. I moved to Xuzhou, which is spitting distance to Shandong province, in May (I got transferred to cover a sick teacher). So I was put up in the teacher’s housing on the college campus, and it did have central heating, the flat also had screened in windows above the doors that didn’t have glass and therefore would be open year-round. When I said I wanted to stay in the city and teach for the next year I got an off-campus flat in a community maybe 1.5 kms down the road—no central heating. Fall 2019 my community was offered central heating, we would have had to pay to get it installed, and it would only be installed if enough people said yes because it would be done for the whole community at that point. If we got the central heating it would have only been turned on December-February, and as the Spring Festival break at the school was an entire month it wasn’t worth it. And that time I went to Sichuan (everyone says south, but I think it has a bit of the Yangtze in it) all the restaurants were open fronted with no solid doors at all. Though the AC/Heating mounted wall unit in my hotel room (a small hotel outside of the city proper with a squat toilet in the bathroom (I’ve only seen squat toilets in two Chinese hotels)) was the best heater ever. My hotel room was so much warmer than any flat I’ve had in China, because even if it was a cheap hotel the AC/Heating mounted wall units needed to work well in Sichuan because it was the only source of heat.

 MDZS Cities on the Yangtze and Old Names for the River

So west to east the cities that are close/on the Yangtze are: Meishan - north, Kuizhou - north bank, Yiling - north bank, Baling - south bank, Yunmeng - north, Moling south (the Yangtze goes through Nanjing so maybe it has bank space), and Gusu - south (possibly in the delta).

According to the Yangtze Wikipedia Page, which I have kept open in a tab in Firefox for reference since I started writing fic—People in Ancient China didn’t realise that the river was a single river and therefore each section of the river, had its own name and was thought to be its own river (the following is mostly just copied from Wikipedia).

For Meishan, Kuizhou, and Yiling, the river through Sichuan and Chongqing Municipality was known as the Chuan Jiang (川江; Chuān Jiāng) or "Sichuan River." The Wikipedia page specifically states that Yichang modern day Yiling as the last/most eastern city to call the Yangtze thus.

In Hubei, this would be Yunmeng and Yiling, but Yiling followed the pattern of the places further west. And I’m going to assume Baling despite being in Hunan; the river is also called the Jing Jiang (荆江; Jīngjiāng) or the "Jing River" after Jingzhou.

In Anhui (which has no sects), the river takes on the local name Wan Jiang after the shorthand name for Anhui, wǎn (皖).

For Gusu and Moling, it was the Yangzi Jiang (揚子江; 扬子江; Yángzǐjiāng) or the "Yangzi River," from which the English name Yangtze is derived, is the local name for the Lower Yangtze in the region of Yangzhou. The name likely comes from an ancient ferry crossing called Yangzi or Yangzijin (揚子 / 揚子津; Yángzǐ / Yángzǐjīn). Europeans who arrived in the Yangtze River Delta region applied this local name to the whole river.

The dividing site between upstream and midstream is considered to be at Yichang (Yiling) and that between midstream and downstream at Hukou (Jiujiang).

Winter Weather in Terms of Whether or Not Long Underwear Should be Worn in Various MDZS Cities

Another way to think of it is in terms of long underwear. I wore long underwear in my city in Shandong province, the pants, and a long undershirt. Typically, three layers on top when indoors, maybe with a fourth sweater when the room I was in wasn’t heated and thick socks over regular ones. In Xuzhou I wore maybe the long underwear bottoms but not the top because my classroom actually has a heater in it, but I usually wore a sweater. When I visited Xi’an, Shaanxi (YueyangChang and 2hrs west of QishanWen), Nanjing, Jiangsu (MolingSu), and when I went to Chengdu, Sichuan (1.5 hours north of Meishan) I wore long underwear (though it was particularly cold that year in Chengdu). When I went to Hangzhou, Zhejiang (south of TingshanHe; Tingshan is hard to pinpoint), Changsha, Hunan (2 hours south of BalingOuyang), and Wuhan, Hubei (3 hrs north of BalingOuyang and 1.25 hours south of YunmengJiang) I had long underwear with me but didn’t necessarily wear it. I do remember in Wuhan this tree that had little pink blooms on it at the end of January. I didn’t have long underwear with me when I went to Chongqing, I could have sworn I actually went to Kuizhou Ancient City (or another Ancient City/Street) but I can’t find pictures from it. The city I visited before Chongqing, I visited an ancient city so I could be mixing these up. But I remember it being Chongqing and getting a foot massage in an open-air shop in an ancient street and being covered in blankets because it was pretty chilly.  

Comparative Temperatures based on their North Parallels

I live in Maine in the US, so a place with lots of snow. When I first came to China my family and I were looking at the map and thought that Maine and my city in Shandong looked to be in a line so the weather would be similar—it wasn’t, but it is a good theory; and something I spent a lot of time thinking might be sound as Maine and Shandong province aren’t on the same parallels so I thought there was still a chance that it would correlate elsewhere. The two most northern sects QingheNie at 37°04’ and LaolingQin 37°26’, according to Wikipedia, which continues to tell me that other notable places on the 37th parallel. The  37th parallel separates out Utah, Colorado, and Kansas on the north side from Arizona, New Mexico, and Oklahoma on the South. It also passes through the Mediterranean Sea; the Aegean Sea; the Caspian Sea; the Sea of Japan; the Yellow Sea; just south of Antequera, Spain; the island of Sicily, Italy; the island of  Honshū, Japan; Gilgit-Baltistan, Pakistan/India; and through Algeria, Tunisia, Turkey, Iraq, Iran, Turkmenistan, Afghanistan, Tajikistan, and South Korea.

I just moved to Zhengzhou, Henan (34°45′50″N), when I asked about the weather I was told it was comparable to Washington DC (38°54′17″N). I keep getting told that Zhengzhou is the centre of China and it is kind of the centre of where all the sects are: north 1.5 hours from YingchuanWang and 5.5 hours from YunmengJiang; south 3.5 hours from QingheNie; and east 6 hours from YueyangChan.

Conclusion for Winter Weather in Gusu and Summary of Chinese Summers

So, based on my experiences, any of the mountains in Suzhou just wouldn’t have a discernible temperature difference from the top of the mountain and the bottom of the mountain. And despite “Snow-covered views of the pretty canal towns of Suzhou in winter” I would assume that it doesn’t actually get that much snow.

So enough about how cold and snowy China is, summer-wise it is generally too, too hot. For the level of cold in the winter, I would have assumed there would be milder summers but where I have lived and visited that has not been the case. When I asked the teacher I was replacing in Shandong about the weather of the city I was told that it went from ‘freezing your pants off to fucking hot’ and it was true one day you’d be wearing a jacket and maybe for a week you’d be in jeans and a tee and then you’d be sweating while wearing the least amount of clothing possible. I’ve definitely seen 30°C days in May.

Rundown of the Climate, Average Temperatures, Rainfall, and Humidity for all MDZS Cities

So you don’t have to here is what Wikipedia says about the climate of the cities of the  different areas so you don’t have to look it up yourselves (pretty much copy and pasted):

Baling – (is present day Yueyang different characters and city from the YueyangChang Sect seat). The average high for the year is 21°C/69.7°F and the low 14.9°C/58.8°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of 2.7°C/36.7°F and an average high of 8.1°C/46.6°F. July is the hottest month with an average low of 26.6°C/79.9°F and an average high of 32.2°C/90°F. Average humidity ranges from 73% in December to 79% in June (with a yearly average of 77%). The most average rainfall is in June, the rain heavy months being April-July, compared to the remaining months March and August also have a lot of rain.

Gusu - has a four-season humid subtropical climate with hot, humid summers and cool, cloudy, damp winters with occasional snowfall (Köppen climate classification Cfa). North-westerly winds blowing from Siberia during winter can cause temperatures to fall below freezing at night, while southerly or south-westerly winds during the summer can push temperatures above 35 °C (95 °F). The average high for the year is 19.9°C/67.8°F and the low 12.5°C/54.5°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of 0.5°C/32.9°F and an average high of 7.7°C/45.9°F. July is the hottest month (by 0.1°C over August) with an average low of 24.8°C/76.6°F and an average high of 31.6°C/88.9°F. Average humidity ranges from 65% in November to 77% in July (with a yearly average of 71%). The most average rainfall is in September, the rain heavy months being June-September, April (102.3 mm) and May (114.5) are petty rainy too, May is still 14mm less rain then July (the lowest of the high rain months).

Kuizhou - has a humid subtropical climate (Köppen Cfa), bordering on a monsoonal humid subtropical climate (Köppen Cwa) and for most of the year experiences very high relative humidity, with all months above 75%. Known as one of the "Three Furnaces" of the Yangtze river, its summers are long and among the hottest and most humid in China, with highs of 33 to 34 °C (91 to 93 °F) in July and August in the urban area.Winters are short and somewhat mild, but damp and overcast. The city's location in the Sichuan Basin causes it to have one of the lowest annual sunshine totals nationally. With over 100 days of fog per year, is known as the "Fog City" The average high for the year is 22.1°C/71.8°F and the low 15.8°C/60.4°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of 6.2°C/43.2°F and an average high of 10.3°C/50.5°F. August is the hottest month (by 0.2°C over July) with an average low of 24.7°C/76.5°F and an average high of 33.2°C/91.8°F. The most average rainfall is in June, the rain heavy months being June and July, but May and August are petty rainy too.

Lanling - has a monsoon-influenced climate with generous summer precipitation, cold, dry winters, and hot, humid summers. Under the Köppen climate classification, it is in the transition from the humid subtropical zone (Cwa) to the humid continental zone (Dwa), though favouring the former. More than half of the annual precipitation of 833 mm (32.8 in) falls in July and August alone, and the frost-free period is above 200 days. The average high for the year is 19.1°C/66.3°F and the low 9.5°C/49.1°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of -4.3°C/24.3°F and an average high of 4.4°C/39.9°F. July is the hottest month (by 0.7°C over August) with an average low of 23°C/73.4°F and an average high of 30.7°C/87.3°F

Laoling - The average high for the year is 19.3°C/66.7°F and the low 9.4°C/48.9°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of -5.6°C/21.9°F and an average high of 3.4°C/38.1°F. June is the hottest month with an average low of 20.2°C/68.4°F and an average high of 32.1°C/89.8°F. Average humidity ranges from 52% in March to 78% in August (with a yearly average of 63%). The most average rainfall is in July, the rain heavy months being July and August by quite a margin. July has on average 90 mm more rain then June (the month with the third highest rainfall).

Meishan - The average high for the year is 21.3°C/70.3°F and the low 14.3°C/57.7°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of 4.1°C/39.4°F and an average high of 10.1°C/50.2°F. July is the hottest month (though the record high temperature was in August) with an average low of 22.9°C/73.2°F and an average high of 30.7°C/86.5°F. Average humidity ranges from 74% in May to 84% in January, August, October, and December (with a yearly average of 81%). The most average rainfall is in August, the rain heavy months being July and August, June (144 mm) and September (130.4) are petty rainy too, June is still 87mm less rainy then July (the lowest of the high rain months) and September gets 42.5mm more rain than the 5th rainiest month—May.

Moling - has a humid subtropical climate (Köppen Cfa) and is influenced by the East Asian monsoon. The four seasons are distinct, with damp conditions seen throughout the year, very hot and muggy summers, cold, damp winters, and in between, spring and autumn are of reasonable length. Known as one of the "Three Furnaces" along the Yangtze River for the perennially high temperatures in the summertime. However, the time from mid-June to the end of July is the plum blossom blooming season in which the meiyu (rainy season of East Asia; literally "plum rain") occurs, during which the city experiences a period of mild rain as well as dampness. Typhoons are uncommon but possible in the late stages of summer and early part of autumn. The annual mean temperature is around 15.91 °C (60.6 °F), with the monthly 24-hour average temperature ranging from 2.7 °C (36.9 °F) in January to 28.1 °C (82.6 °F) in July. Extremes since 1951 have ranged from −14.0 °C (7 °F) on 6 January 1955 to 40.7 °C (105 °F) on 22 August 1959. The average high for the year is 20.6°C/69.1°F and the low 12.1°C/53.8°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of -0.7°C/30.7°F and an average high of 7.2°C/45°F. July is the hottest month with an average low of 24.9°C/76.8°F and an average high of 32.2°C/90°F. On average precipitation falls 115 days out of the year, and the average annual rainfall is 1,090 mm (43 in). The most average rainfall is in July, the rain heavy months being June through August. August (143.5mm) is the least rainy of the three and still gets on average 52.8 mm more rain then May the 4th rainiest month. July has the most days of rain (12.3), but both March (only 80.4mm) and August have the second most days of rain (11.8).With monthly percent possible sunshine ranging from 37 percent in March to 52 percent in August, the city receives 1,926 hours of bright sunshine annually. Average humidity ranges from 71% in April and May to 80% in July and August (with a yearly average of 75%).

Qinghe - has a continental, monsoon-influenced semi-arid climate (Köppen BSk), characterised by hot, humid summers due to the East Asian monsoon, and generally cold, windy, very dry winters that reflect the influence of the vast Siberian anticyclone. Spring can bear witness to sandstorms blowing in from the Mongolian steppe, accompanied by rapidly warming, but generally dry, conditions. Autumn is similar to spring in temperature and lack of rainfall. The annual rainfall, more than half of which falls in July and August alone, is highly variable and not reliable. The average high for the year is 19.6°C/67.2°F and the low 8.8°C/47.9°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of -6.1°C/21°F and an average high of 3.9°C/39°F. June is the hottest month with an average low of 20.2°C/68.4°F and an average high of 32.1°C/89.8°F

Qishan - The average high for the year is 18.5°C/65.3°F and the low 9°C/48.1°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of -3.5°C/25.7°F and an average high of 5.1°C/41.2°F. July is the hottest month with an average low of 21.1°C/70°F and an average high of 30.9°C/87.6°F. The record high temperature from (1971-2000) in January was 20.7°C/69.3°F which is the lowest of the record highs. The highest was in August at 41.6°C/106.9°F. The most average rainfall is in August but had the most days of rain in September (the rain heavy months being June-September).

Tingshan - The average high for the year is 20.5°C/68.9 °F and the low 13.1°C/55.6°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of 0.9°C/33.6°F and an average high of 7.5°C/45.5°F. July is the hottest month with an average low of 25.3°C/77.5°F and an average high of 32.6°C/90.7°F. Average humidity ranges from 75% in April and May to 82% in September (with a yearly average of 78%). The most average rainfall is in June, the rain heavy months being June-August, March (121.2 mm), May (113.4mm), and September ( 109mm) are petty rainy too, March still has 34.2 mm less rain then August (the lowest of the high rain months). March also has the most days of rain (15.2), followed by June (14.8), then April and July (13.7).

Yiling - has a four-season, monsoon-influenced, humid subtropical climate (Köppen Cwa), with cool, damp and generally overcast winters, and hot, humid summers. The monthly 24-hour average temperature ranges from 5.0 °C (41.0 °F) in January to 27.7 °C (81.9 °F) in July, while the annual mean is 17.08 °C (62.7 °F). The average high for the year is 21.6°C/70.9°F and the low 13.7°C/56.6°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of 2.2°C/36°F and an average high of 8.8°C/47.8°F. July is the hottest month with an average low of 24.3°C/75.7.°F and an average high of 32.3°C/90.1°F. Close to 70% of the annual precipitation of 1,160 mm (46 in) occurs from May to September. The most average rainfall is in July, the rain heavy months being June-August; May (124.4mm), and September (115.3mm) are petty rainy too, May still has17.8 mm less rain then June (the lowest of the high rain months). July has the most days of rain (15.1), followed by June (14.1), then May (13.5).With monthly percent possible sunshine ranging from 24% in January to 49% in August, the city receives 1,568 hours of bright sunshine annually, and summer is the sunniest season. Average humidity ranges from 73% in February, March, April and December to 80% in July (with a yearly average of 75%).

Yingchuan - has a monsoon-influenced humid subtropical climate (Köppen Cwa), with four distinct seasons. Winters are cool and dry, summers hot and humid, spring begins early and is warm, and autumn is mild and provides a reasonable transition. Rain mainly falls from May to September, as more than 70% of the annual precipitation occurs then. The city has an annual mean temperature of at 14.5 °C (58.1 °F), and its highest average monthly temperature is 27.1 °C (80.8 °F) in July and the lowest is 0.7 °C (33.3 °F) in January. Just over 700 millimetres (28 in) of precipitation falls each year, and there is on average 217 frost-free days and 2280 hours of sunshine per year. The average high for the year is 20.2°C/68.4°F and the low 9.7°C/49.5°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of -3.6°C/25.5°F and an average high of 6.1°C/43°F. July is the hottest month (by 0.2°C over June) with an average low of 23.1°C/73.6°F and an average high of 32°C/89.6°F. The most average rainfall is in July, the rain heavy months being July and August; June (83.5mm) is petty rainy too, but June still has 38.2mm less rain then August (the lowest of the high rain months). July has the most days of rain (11.7), followed by August (10.6), then June (8.4).

Yueyang - has a temperate climate that is influenced by the East Asian monsoon, classified under the Köppen climate classification as situated on the borderline between a semi-arid climate (BSk) and humid subtropical climate (Cwa). The Wei River valley is characterised by hot, humid summers, cold, dry winters, and dry springs and autumns. Most of the annual precipitation is delivered from July (on average has the most rain) to late October with September having the most days of rain. Snow occasionally falls in winter but rarely settles for long. Dust storms often occur during March and April as the city rapidly warms up. Summer months also experience frequent but short thunderstorms. The average high for the year is 19.5°C/67.1°F and the low 9.7°C/49.5°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of -3.3°C/26.1°F and an average high of 5.1°C/41.2°F. July is the hottest month with an average low of 22.3°C/72.1°F and an average high of 32.4°C/90.3°F. Average humidity ranges from 61% in June to 77% in September (with a yearly average of 68%)

Yunmeng - The average high for the year is 21.1°C/70°F and the low 12.8°C/55.1°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of 0.2°C/32.4°F and an average high of 3.9°C/39°F. July is the hottest month (by 0.2°C over August) with an average low of 25.2°C/77.4°F and an average high of 32.2°C/90°F. Average humidity ranges from 75% in December to 83% in July (with a yearly average of 79%)

Dafan Mountain and Phoenix Mountian

That being said, I was trying to find Dafan Mountain on a map for a fanfic I was writing. I have a Chinese copy of MDZS and I was originally having trouble finding the characters used for Dafan Mountain. When I did, Baidu was not at all helpful every webpage was for MDZS and/or CQL. So I asked Dean who replied that he didn’t know, as the places in the book are all made up, at which time I sent him a copy of the map that my other friend had shown me with the actual names of the present day cities for the five main sects. And I did a search for “where is Dafan mountain” which worked for things like: “where is Moling”, for the Dafan search the results were things like which chapter/episode is Dafan or ‘where was Wen Ning before Dafan?’ My confusion came from the fact that the town below Dafan is called Buddha’s Feet—and I have been there. In Chongqing there is a district called Dazu (大足), Buddha’s Feet which had Buddhist cave paintings so there are also mountains. Edit: I went back and looked for pictures, it’s not actually very mountain-y and is named for some giant footprints.

It took longer to find, because as I had learned there is just too many ways that you could write Buddha’s Feet in Chinese and have it interpreted as Buddha’s Feet. In the book it is called 佛脚镇 (Fójiǎo Zhèn) or Buddha’s Foot town, which isn’t a real place in China according to Baidu. So for my own fic purposes I decided that it was going to be in Chongqing. And then later, when I was actually putting together a map on Google I double checked for places like Dafan and found one. 大梵山 Dafan Shan (same characters and everything) is a 207m mountain in South Korea called Keun Beom San (?) 큰범산.

Phoenix Mountain was another one that I had a hard time looking for in the book as there are multiple ways to say Phoenix in Chinese and it is generally a compound word including Feng (风) which usually means wind and the name of the mountain in Chinese is 百风山 (Bǎifèng shān) and could also be translated as the Hundred Wind Mountain. And all though it sounds like a very good mountain name ‘phoenix’ or ‘wind’-wise there is no such mountain that I could find.

My Own Map Making Explained

Before I made my own map I looked for other maps online, ones that talked about the smaller sects. For the purposes of my fic I needed to know where the YueyangChang clan was situated, and where Xue Yang would be, or coming from, or going to. I found this map online. It is a very good map but it uses the present day name instead of the book names so I got super confused. For example that map has a Liyang, Leling, and Yueling, none of which I could find on the MDZS wiki as being connected to a sect.

What I ended up doing is writing the names of the cities into Pleco, a Chinese-English dictionary app, so if I type in yueyang the first three are: Yuèyáng (岳阳) a prefecture-level city in Hunan; yuèyáng (越洋) a verb meaning cross the ocean; and yuè yáng (栎阳) a place in Shaanxi Province. I took the place names and searched for them in my Chinese copy of the book and hit on 栎阳. Then I put it in Baidu, Baidu Maps, and Apple Maps to see where it would turn up—it turned up in Xi’an. Well, Liyang from that second map is also 栎阳. And when I look at the map apps with pinyin the section of Xi’an in question is also labelled as Liyang.

Leling was harder—or easier I guess it depends on how you look at it. I ended up looking it up straight from the second map Pleco suggested 乐陵 the county level city in Dezhou, which I found in the book 乐陵秦—LaolingQin. This I don’t understand at all 乐 is lè or yuè and yet we call them LaolingQin. So there you have it. Edit: while writing the weather section (which I did after this though it comes first in the post) I A. realised I’d been writing Yaoling instead of Laoling and B. that the Laoling County-level City Wikipedia page said that Laoling often gets mispronounced as Leling because the character 乐 is only ever elsewhere lè or yuè.

Tingshan was the last one that gave me problems. It is written 亭山 and there are actually a couple mountains called Tingshan, with the same characters one near Qufu in Shandong province, and two in Zhejiang province one north of Hangzhou and the other sort of south of Hangzhou, in Shaoxing (the one that comes up the most often in Baidu searches). Then I found a Chinese site discussing the ancient city of Tingshan City which is “In today's Zhejiang Deqing County East 24 Li (1 Li = 0.5 km)” so I put Deqing county on my map and then realised that the same site says that Tingshan is also 200 paces southwest of the county and then mentions a Wuxing ji (吴兴记) but I could find a Wuxing District (吴兴区) of Huzhou City the same city as Deqing county. Wuxing was north east of Deqing and that was when I realised that the two possible dots of Tingshan on my map were close to the dot of Yueling on the second map I had found. And I found a Yueling (越岭) in Huzhou and it was southwest of Wuxing (not sure about 200 paces or not), so I differed to the wisdom of that second map.

I have made my own map with the labels of all places I could find on a map. I labelled them with the sect names or if they had no sect associated with them just the city name. Sadly Baixue Temple, Phoenix Mountain, Dust Creek Mountain, Mo Village, and Dafan Mountain/Buddha’s Feet (though my map does include Dazu in Chongqing, as a point of interest) could not be found and added to the map. And of course we have no clue where Sect leader Yao came from and I kind of wish we could send him back off into the nothing, but he is there to add strife I suppose.

River Travel- Lotus Pier wasn’t the closest Sect to Yiling

I got to a part in my own fic where I needed them to take a bout between Yiling and Yunmeng and realised that while Yiling is on the Yangtze, Yunmeng is not and instead is on a tributary of the Yangtze. I did a cursory search for ancient river boat speeds and found an archaeological paper that tested seven ancient boats one of which was a Singapore Sampan it wasn’t very fast. So I just decided to write it off as cultivating boats get people there faster.

Even though I had already wrote the boat scene of my fic when I was looking at my map I noticed Google’s measuring tool. So for fun, I used the Google Maps measuring tool to measure river distance between Yiling and Yunmeng after I put all the city markers on. Yiling is on the Yangtze and Yunmeng has a couple Yangtze tributaries that run through it that meet up in the Wuhan area. The Yangtze dips south after Yiling and then goes back up to Wuhan. Yiling to Yunmeng is 444 km by river if you leave the Yangtze by Jingzhou and travel through Chang Lake (I cheated and connected to Hanshui River with what looks like a manmade river, maybe, it is very straight and appears to cut through the lake) then it is a lot of small rivers to get to Yunmeng. I thought maybe even though the Yangtze goes further south and Wuhan is further east than Yunmeng since it is a bigger river it might still be shorter. However, 397 km east of Yiling following the Yangtze in Baling! I remember in CQL Sect Leader Yao suggests Lotus Pier after the second siege of the Burial Mounds (I might be remembering wrong), but well he appears friendly with Ouyang, and they are a smaller sect.

Conclusion

So, while the sects live in actual places, today they are generally just districts in larger cities, because the urbanisation of China has resulted in many villages becoming districts of bigger cities. And while some of the places in the book are made up (Yunping City being another one that I cannot find anywhere) they are reasonably named that they are not far outside of the realm of possibility. Also China is a large country that discourages people from moving around, as you always have to return to the place of your birth (or your parents’ birth) to get paperwork and the like for visas, etc. Therefore, I believe perhaps inside China the knowledge of where these places are or the height of their mountains or their amount of snow is not something that is thought about by people as much as I think of these things.

[mermaidsirennikita]

September 2018 Book Roundup

If you’ve read any of my posts you probably know that I have high-functioning depression and sometimes dip into episodes that are worse than the rest of the time, and I’m definitely dipping into one!  Which means that it’s getting hard for me to focus on anything, including reading.  :(  But I did read some good books this month!  The high of September book-wise was definitely Kendare Blake’s Two Dark Reigns.  If you haven’t tried her Three Dark Crowns series yet, please do.  It’s very, very good.  Hopefully, October will be full of dark and creepy reads!

Mirage by Somaiya Daud.  4/5.  Amani is a farmer’s daughter, her people dominated by the brutal Vathek.  On the night that she’s to reach her majority, droids descend and take her to Ziyaana, where she discovers that she’s the double of the selfish and cruel Princess Maram.  As Maram--born of a Vathek conqueror and a native Andalaan mother--is hated by her people, Amani will be trained to be her double, standing in for Maram at important events.  There are two problems: for one thing, Maram’s fiance Idris connects more with Amani than he does the princess.  For another, Amani’s proximity to the crown makes it all too easy for her to become the target of rebel plots....  This book has a lot of atmosphere, and is inspired by Moroccan culture.  It’s firmly sci-fi, but feels very fantastical in a lot of ways.  The most important and compelling part of the novel--besides the general world--is the relationship between Maram and Amani.  Maram is truly awful, but she’s also truly human.  While the main romance is a bit meh and the climax doesn’t feel like much of one, it’s an entertaining book and I’m look forward to the next installment!

Toil and Trouble ed. Jessica Spotswood and Tess Sharpe.  4/5.  A collection of short stories with one thing in common: witches.  This a nice anthology, with all the urban fantasy your heart could want.  There’s a good bit of representation--Latina witches, black witches, gay witches, bi witches, I *think* some trans man rep though it wasn’t very explicit so I can’t say for sure.  My favorites included Afterbirth by Andrea Cremer (a good, old-fashioned Salem witch trials type of story involving a midwife’s apprentice, a dead patient, and a mysterious baby), The Well Witch by Kate Hart (think like... a shoot ‘em up western but with a part-Comanche witch at the center) Beware of Girls with Crooked Mouths by Jessica Spotswood (about a witch trying to trigger a vision she saw in which she and her sisters survived a curse on their family) and Love Spell by Anna-Marie McLemore (about a bruja who falls in love with an acolyte--so romantic and so very good, McLemore is an amazing writer).  A great read for Fall. 

Two Dark Reigns by Kendare Blake.  5/5.  The third installment of the Three Dark Thrones series sees Katharine on the throne and Mirabella and Arsinoe hiding on the mainland.  Fennbirn is caving in on itself, the mist meant to protect it striking out against its people--who, in response, grow hostile to Katharine.  Meanwhile, Arsinoe is being sent visions from the Blue Queen, a legendary ruler of Fennbirn whose ghostly presence may spell disaster for the island.�� Kendare Blake knows how to write spooky shit.  She knows how to write sad shit.  She just knows how to write.  I never want to leave the world of this series.  This book was actually better than the last, expanding on the intrigue and mythos of the world.  I still don’t love Jules, and I really don’t really like more recent addition of Emilia--but their storylines are compelling, and I love Katharine and Mirabella and Pietyr and Bree and so many other characters enough to overwhelm the characters I’m not as big a fan of.  This book left me dying for the next.

Tear Me Apart by J.T. Ellison.  4/5.  Teenage Mindy is an up-and-coming champion skier, looking to qualify for the U.S. Olympic team.  After she breaks her leg, it is revealed that she has leukemia, sending her loving parents, Lauren and Jasper, into a spiral.  The only hope they have of saving Mindy’s life is through a stem cell transplant--but when Lauren and Jasper are tested, it’s revealed that neither of them are biologically related to Mindy.  This is a fairly dark thriller that doesn’t simplify the issues it discusses, and certainly doesn’t pull any punches.  Will you see the twists coming?  I did, though not immediately.  But that’s okay, because it was less “failure to twist” and more “something set up pages ago paying off”.  The book was a bit long and padded for the story it told, but I have to say that I loved the ambiguity of it all.

Queens of Fennbirn by Kendare Blake.  4/5.  These two Three Dark Crowns novellas are bound together in one edition--The Young Queens tells the stories of Mirabella, Arsinoe, and Katharine before Three Dark Crowns begins,during their childhoods; The Oracle Queen explains why oracle queens are drowned at birth, through the story of the “mad queen” Elsabet, who allegedly murdered innocent people based on her visions.  I’m not surprised that The Oracle Queen was more to my taste, just because I want to know the backstories of literally every queen in this world...  (I mean, I’d take a companion book chronicling every queen in this country... easily.)  But The Young Queens was still a well-done story, and added a lot to how I see the world of the series.  A must for fans of the books.

Rule by Ellen Goodlett.  2/5.  Zofi, Akeylah, and Florencia (”Ren”) all come from vastly different backgrounds.  When King Andros summons them to palace, it’s revealed that not only is he dying, but that all three are his daughters, and the only potential heirs he has left after the death of his only son. The girls are thrown into court politics and training, though Andros can only select one to be queen.  Each one has a secret, and someone is out to expose them--so who will come out on top?  Basically, I loved this idea and the execution was beyond blah.  The politics were way too light. The magic system was cool, but not enough to save it.  Relationships were shallow.  Romances were dull.  Very little  time was spent on the idea of the girls developing relationships with Andros OR each other.  Again, the world was interesting but the characters didn’t work.

Wildcard by Marie Lu.  3/5.  After discovering the truth of Hideo’s plans, Emika is set against the man she fell in love with.  As she seeks to take Hideo down, she gets drawn into the world of the mysterious Zero--the only person who can protect Emika now that a bounty’s been placed on her head.  Aaand as this is a sequel, saying anything more would mean giving away big spoilers.  I loved Warcross, which is why Wildcard was a bit of a letdown.  Honestly?  It felt like Lu was trying to cram two books into one.  I thought I’d see more of Emika trying to take Hideo down, and the push-pull between them that I frankly loved in the first book.  The truth about Zero’s past?  Very compelling.  The ending?  Kind of anticlimactic.

Not Even Bones by Rebecca Schaeffer.  3/5.  Nita dissects unnatural creatures so that her mother--usually their killer--can sell them on the black market.  Unicorns, mermaids--Nita has dissected everything, though she herself isn’t all that natural thanks to her ability to heal herself.  After her mother brings home a living boy with the intention of cutting him into pieces, Nita suffers an attack of conscience and frees him.  She wakes up at the Death Market; once a part of the trade, she’s now for sale.  A lot of 3 star reads kind of bore me--this one didn’t.  It was super engaging.  The concept is super cool, and I want to see more of this world.  Nita’s relationship with her parents, and particularly her horrifying mother, is interesting.  I’m happy with the grayness of this world.  It’s just that the writing is a bit awkward.  There are a lot of creepy grins described over and over.  Nita’s seemingly cold nature isn’t described very well, to the point that what should come off as human hypocrisy that she learns from reads more as self-righteousness, especially regarding one plot twist.  One thing did distract me a bit--a creature that essentially gets off on pain and is thus a great torturer.  Technically, they feed on pain and therefore must torture people to live, theoretically.  One: these creatures are treated as super valuable in organized crime families, but I don’t really get why they’re needed as skilled torturers exist already.  Their powers are vague.  And they’re called zannies?  I don’t know if these are obscure magical creatures I don’t know about, but to be honest if they are the author needed to use another name.  Zannie/xannie is slang for Xanax.  That always popped into my head when they were mentioned, and it was very distracting.  It doesn’t ruin the book, but it is kind of weird to me that nobody caught that in the editing process.

[words4bloghere]

Heyoo! I'm back with another paperhat request because...what else is there to do at 11pm? Sleep? Anyway, again of your still doing requests, maybe the time when they first had sex, but not like the actual smut (unless you want to, I just don't want to make you uncomfortable) like the events leading up to it. What caused this in the first place? Who cracked first? All that cliché crap. Doesn't even have to be in the Monsters universe if you don't want it to be. Ahh! This is long! Thank you!

I got close to the sex but bailed because I am a wuss. So, fluff and smut? Flut? Smuff? hehehehehehe Smuff. (slightly NSFW guyssssss)

It’s almost one and I’m tired. BUT THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING ME TWICE!!!!

Black Hat and Flug sat at the kitchen table as they did most mornings; Flug was facing sideways fiddling with a device while he waited for his coffee to brew, and Black Hat read the morning edition of the newspaper.

Flug did not understand the newspapers. He knew that Black Hat was aware of the internet, as it was a crucial part of his business. But still, every day save for Sunday there was the usual delivery for the morning and evening paper of Hatville News. Sunday was the Super Saver edition that came with a plastic envelope insert filled with coupons, and the cartoons were in color.

“Flug.” Black Hat’s gravelly voice eased across the table and Flug didn’t even look up. There wasn’t much that could make him react at all in the morning before he had ingested an unknown amount of caffeine. That amount changed daily so he usually just stayed on the safe side by downing a whole pot as quickly as possible.

“Yes Boss?” Flug replied idly. He had stripped a screw earlier when he had first put this thing together, and now was having a difficult time removing it for repairs.

“Explain prostitution to me.” Black Hat said. Now Flug did pause and look up, moving his head slowly around to face Black Hat. He had lowered the paper and stared at Flug, his monocle reflecting the overhead light.

“Prostitution is the act of selling one’s body to another for the sexual gratification of the buyer.” Flug answered, as dispassionately as possible.

“And people pay for this?” Black Hat asked, almost incredulous. Flug shrugged and returned to the device in his hands.

“Sure. Sometimes not much but they will. Sometimes that’s the point.” He said.

“What’s the point?”

“Hiring a person to have sex with. It’s like, buying them makes the buyer feel more powerful.” Flug said and frowned as he wrenched the magnetized screwdriver hard to the left.

“So what’s the illegal thing, buying the prostitute or the sex?” Black Hat pressed. The screw gave but Flug paused again, thinking.

“I mean, from what I understand, it’s only illegal whenever the buyer explicitly discusses exchanging money for actual sexual intercourse.” Flug continued to unscrew the backing of the device. “I mean, I guess it’s not illegal to hire a prostitute and have them just hang out.”

“This is similar to the politicians resigning after it’s found out they slept with an intern? They criminalize sex?” Black Hat asked.

“That is extremely socially conscious, sir.” Flug replied with no small amount of sarcasm.

“How much would you pay Flug?” Black Hat asked and the screwdriver skidded off the screw, flipping out of Flug’s hand. He looked up, feeling his pulse suddenly in his head.

“Sir?”

“For a night with me.” Black Hat paused just long enough for Flug’s heart to start seizing. “If it’s something we can monetize, it’s worth thinking about.”

“UHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.” Flug felt his train of thought crash and it short circuited his other processes. Black Hat clasped his hands together, resting them on the table, and leaned forward with his wide grin filled with sharp teeth.

“Perhaps we could auction you off.” He said, his voice low. Flug suddenly felt very warm under the bag.

Behind him, on the counter, the coffeepot let out a loud, long gurgle, announcing it had finished brewing. Flug scrambled up and out of his seat, skidding to a stop next to it. He put both hands around his mug, one that had been gifted to him by Demencia, for Christmas, in April. It was simple, showing a minimalist airplane taking off and the words “Get High Every Day, Sleep With a Pilot.”

Not the right mug to have at the moment.

“I’ll expect to see that device working by this afternoon.” Black Hat said ad Flug heard him push away from the table. Flug took even breaths as he poured his coffee, counting the seconds he had estimated it took Black Hat to leave anywhere, since he was prone to dissipating instead of walking out like a normal person.

Dumping sugar into the coffee, Flug focused on the metallic ting the spoon made against the porcelain.

His pulse still hadn’t slowed.

When he did ultimately go up to Black Hat’s study, the device was mostly functional. If the device was spun, an internal connection would dislodge, cause a short circuit, and the device’s effects would become erratic. It would also catch fire.

But why would it be spun? No one would spin the device.

Flug clutched it to his chest as he knocked on the study door, praying that Black Hat hadn’t watched a western recently.

The door opened, and a small robot skittered away before Flug stepped into the room. He heard the clicking of it skittering back to shut the door once he stood before Black Hat’s desk.

It was a massive desk, and the chair behind it loomed over it like a throne. So it was always slightly disconcerting seeing Black Hat reclining, reading.

“I have the device ready Boss.” Flug said and Black Hat folded over his paper. He hadn’t dressed as he normally did, which Flug found odd.

“Set it down.” Black Hat stated and tossed the paper onto the desk as well. Flug set down the device and waited.

“Your kind has a, strange relationship with consent.” Black Hat said suddenly and Flug raised an eyebrow. Black Hat waved a hand, dismissing his confusion, and stood.

“A lot of things are illegal because it violates the agency of another. No one consents to robbery or murder.” Black Hat went on and walked around the desk. “But, when your people legally strip away a person’s agency, then there is no such thing as consent. So, a murderer can be put to death even against his wishes.” Black Hat stopped next to Flug and put his hands behind his back. “What is murder becomes justice.”

“Boss?” Flug asked but Black Hat only grinned down at the doctor.

“By purchasing someone, you can effectively remove their agency buy having them signing it over in exchange for something. Looking beyond your kind’s shameful obsession with slavery, we can look to Faustian deals.” Black Hat continued. “When you make a deal with the devil, you sign away your agency.”

Fear now, as Flug instantly recalled what it was Black Hat was referencing. That moment he became a Villainous employee, and he shook hands with his new employer.

“Sir.” Flug said, slowly backing away. Black Hat broke into cackling laughter and Flug hesitated.

“There’s nothing to be gained by violating your agency Flug, calm down.” Black Hat said and then leaned on the desk. “I am aware of sexual lust Flug. Demencia produces it as a by product of her mere existence. But we all know what drives me.” He wasn’t looking for an answer so Flug didn’t offer one. It was, as Black Hat stated, that obvious.

“So how about we perform an experiment, Doctor Flug.” Black Hat turned, his predator grin back on his face. “Can we make the greedy monster lust?”

“Boss-” Flug couldn’t find the rest of the sentence, but Black Hat just eyed him silently anyway. “What would be the benefit?” He heard himself say instead.

Black Hat grinned wider and advanced on him.

“The same thing that drives any of the sins,” Black Hat replied. “Pleasure.”

He said yes, he remembered saying yes.

He did not remember how he ended up on the floor.

Black Hat’s tongue ran a line up his throat and along his jaw while claws and tentacles ripped at clothing. A cold mist ran over his exposed skin and Flug shuddered, hard, and felt Black Hat smile against his shoulder.

“Let’s see your face.” Black Hat whispered and ripped the bag off, causing the goggles to skew wildly on his face. Feeling air against his face caused him to panic, for a moment, but he focused now on the teeth he felt graze his shoulder. Flug tried to put his hands on Black Hat, but found them restrained by semi-solid tentacles. He clenched his hands into fists and moaned as Black Hat moved down his body.

His vision impaired, Flug nonetheless tried to look at what his boss had become. Black Hat’s clothing was gone and he had become, hazy, but with his goggles fitted crookedly on his face, he couldn’t be sure.

Worse, he couldn’t tell if it was haze or a hat on Black Hat’s head.

“Distracted?” Black Hat asked and Flug felt something wrap around his dick. The shock was sudden and he arched his back with the surprise of it. It wasn’t a feeling Flug could place and again he strained his neck trying to look. Now, Black Hat covered him, catching Flug’s mouth in a kiss.

The inside of Black Hat’s mouth was warm, all of him, in fact, was warm. Flug relaxed back into the floor as hands ran up his sides, and Black Hat sucked on his lower lip.

“Now,” Black Hat said. “Explain every variable. Every place that can be tested.” Flug blinked, his vision still fractured and disorienting.

“Okay.” He said. And the ministrations began.

Almost at once, Flug felt multiple mouths and fingers all over his body. Sharp teeth pricked his earlobe while a phantom touch ran down his spine. He shivered, causing the mouth at his ear to tug, and he cried out. A finger rolled over a nipple while another mouth bit and sucked at his collarbone.

Bites and kisses dotted his stomach, while two hands drew down the line of his pelvis with light scratches.

All the while, the tentacle on his erection slid up and down slowly.

“There is something I want Flug.” Black Hat said and abruptly sat up. None of his limbs were removed, however, so Flug still writhed in his grasp.

“Y-y-yes?” Flug asked, breathy and having to force the word out from his chest.

“Yes what?” Black Hat demanded and the bonds on Flug tightened.

“Yes Boss!” He cried out and the bonds loosened, but continued to move on and over him.

“I would like your gratification.” Black Hat said and Flug could feel a gentle probing. His eyes widened but he started to pant.

“Please.” Flug whispered. He could see Black Hat grin.

And then he saw him descend.

[pancoleon]

Baccano Rewatch Rambling Commentary

So. due to having a long and fun talk about Baccano at MCM Manchester, I felt like rewatching the anime and OH BOY I forgot how the first episode goes, so I decided I might as well do (spoilery) commentary on here as I rewatch. Don’t expect anything written nicely or concisely, I do the numberwang, not the wordidoo.

This is the first 3 episodes and because I ramble like hell and I do reference the books, it’s a “Read More”. I apologize in advance, but “Short Form” has never been a thing I can manage. This is me essentially writing down what I say to myself while watching it. I added the formatting later, but I want to keep the rambling as in tact as possible, partly out of laziness and partly out of interest in looking back later and seeing what was going through my head.

Episode 1

I forgot just how much time is spent with the discussion between (Christ me, you literally saw this half an hour ago, how have you already forgotten her name!?) *Carol* (Thanks Baccano wiki, and by extension most likely thanks Rev) and Gustav St Germain. Looking back after reading the books, I like the fact that they used the paper explosion scene and would have loved to see that reappear later had they continued the anime. That would’ve been a nice scene of the anime doing a foreshadow of a scene to come while not making it blatantly so, and that final context would’ve probably put an extra spin on things. (Oh boy, it’s really clear I can’t write short sentences…)

The scenes foreshadowing Book 6 (Was it? I lose track. Either way, the Mist Wall book.) really hurt me. I’d have loved to see Christopher, Adele, (Heck, ALL THE HOMUNCULI) and Maria, along with seeing Ronnie just be Ronnie and fuckin’ be extra as hell with the help of essentially Omnipotent powers.

The sequence initially showing Firo... Y'know, I remember this properly, but I have to say I prefer the book version? In the books, it’s before he becomes immortal and he avoids getting hit by the knife in the first place. I feel that while how this scene was rewritten means it’s good for revealing his immortality, the books help show that he is rather suspicious as a character, which works well considering his discomfort from the fact that even after becoming immortal he is careful due to the knowledge that there *is* a way to kill him. Then again, I’m not a literary master and the change probably works considering the more carefree Firo you see in the show.

I like the setup for the Flying Pussyfoot (even if I’m sad the stuff being called in doesn’t pay off due to them not using Vino in the 1932 arc that *should* be Drugs and Dominoes). What you know from the first episode is:

that the train’s been swapped out do to an “accident”

there’s an assassin on there,

there’s immortals on there,

there’s bombs on there,

a bunch of corpses and a murderous guy with no arm and a woman he’s talking of killing litter the tracks (On an off hand note, I thought that Ladd actually killed Lua there when I initially watched Baccano),

and that the people that are leaving the train are the thieves mentioned earlier (who if you pay attention are probably immortal),

the immortal child (Funny how early it’s revealed that Czes is immortal in comparison to the books),

and a group of people of which the middle one seems to be in great pain.

You also know of an unknown figure reading an unknown message about finding someone, but that’s rather late in the story.

Point is, you are swiftly shown a lot of information you probably won’t piece everything together from, but will help give you one specific idea: Something bad happened on the Flying Pussyfoot and that (probably) included the supernatural.

Episode 2

Okay, I’ll now be writing as things happen, so I might remember names this time! And before I start, let me say this at least once. “Hah! Flying Pussyfoot is a silly name!”

I like the fact they left in the couple where the woman just calls stuff in advance.

I have to say, I am love with Isaac and Miria’s logic. “If we mine, we’re stealing from the earth!”. Along with that, the story of them being shouted at for panning for gold in other people’s land is something I want to hear more about. I’m being reminded that I damn well wish I knew more about Japanese Mythology to be able to directly pinpoint where Isaac went wrong.

Oh, and the letter from Ennis. I like how this directly implies than Ennis is not actually human without going “SHE’S A HUMONCULUS, NOT HUMAN” and then quickly makes you forget about that by having I&M start talking about this clearly means she wants a brother, rather than there having been previous people before her who were destroyed before she was created.

(Oh shit, this is gonna get looooooooong, I haven’t got past the I&M scene yet). This is followed by perfectly showing what I&M are like, by having them figure out how do to a train robbery. i.e not how you actually do one. And then I&M go to the train station, move past the Lemures, and then as they talk about the “Orchestra”, the camera zooms in on Rachel. If only the Dub hadn’t specified Vino’s gender, people might’ve thought she was Vino, that’s how the books spun it anyway. And then we get to Claire, who starts talking before coming on screen and has a conversation with Tony just before Tony gets murdered. It would have been nice if the other conductor got a couple lines here, but this does set up Claire’s anger at Tony being dead later on nicely.

Meanwhile, best panicking wreck of a leader, Jacuzzi Splot, explains what his group are doing on the train, namely stealing something. Then the anime moves focus from Nice to Czes, nicely implying that their aims/jobs are related. I’ll stop listing what happens now, but OH JEEZ I LOVE THE CUTS AND PANS AND FOCUS CHANGES. I don’t know much about cinematography, but this feels good to me. 

So to abridge a conversation: Nice: Why don’t you ask them? You might make some new friends. Jacuzzi: (Panics a bit) I don’t wanna. Nice then persuades Jacuzzi to go talk to Isaac and Miria. Not much meaning, but I just wanted to say, SAAAAAAME Jacuzzi. If not for @thingsarenotwholesome taking the place of Nice, I wouldn’t talk to a lot of people. but yeah, then Jacuzzi starts crying because he thinks he’s nothing but some delinquent. Props to I&M for supporting him in the only way they know: By being lovely, funny and acting ridiculously.

Some day Narita, I’d like to see how much of this is them faking it to avoid a bad topic and how much of it is their own joy in insanity. I just can’t accept “They’re a bit mad” with no other details, because even if Isaac routinely gets stuff wrong, he’s weirdly well read. I also love the fact that Jon and Fang spend their time calling out bullshit and commenting on what’s happening. It gives a nice contrast of the straight man, while not overpowering I&M and also properly showing what their influence on Jacuzzi is.

I like that the voice acting makes it clear that Czes struggled to say his own name. Clearly from the immortal thing. Good Dub there.

The Lemures in general feel much cultier than when I was reading the books. Perhaps because in the books the individual greed for immortality in the members is made clear before the operation starts, whereas this has them speak of their unwavering loyalty (yeah fucking right) to Huey Laforet, while the Conductor preaches about how this is all for the sake of freeing their “Glorious Leader”. Shame there’s a Claire on board.

Episode 3

And we start with poor Eve Genoard looking for Dallas, too bad some other poor person has him. [Edit Note: Look, you can’t expect me to remember every detail of the books perfectly, I barely remember what I had to eat most days]

 I love the Daily Days and their information based business model. The Runorata Goons just got to experience information based capitalism.

Well, I might have to source the music playing while Lua and Ladd are dancing. This is also the first scene where Lua doesn’t seem to only be some poor girl who was forced into something by Ladd, but someone who actually wants to be with Ladd.

I love Randy and Pecho, those glove burning fools. I’m also starting to realise how damn good this show is at giving you information in off-hand comments. From their short conversation we know they’re friends with Firo and that there’ll be a party, while also starting the fire that kickstarts the events of the Rolling Bootlegs.

Similarly, the anime then goes on to show that Firo is joining the Camorra as a Capo and that I&M are in town at the time. This is also why I’m writing so much, BECAUSE THEY MAKE SUCH GOOD USE OF THE TIME GIVEN. This reminds me though. Narratively, in the books, the hobo attempting to stab Firo happens just before the hat shop. I damn well wish we could properly place that scene somewhere chronologically in the show.  It could literally any time still during the depression after Firo becomes immortal.

The fight between Firo and Dallas' Gang really does show the fighting talent Firo has in an impressive way, which again makes Firo getting cut in episode 1 more frustrating.

And here is the first big change to Rolling Bootlegs! Firo does not have the time nor the bottles to swap about his wine with the immortality potion for the heck of it. I'm not sure how I feel about this change, but I will commend the 2016 Manga for keeping to the books on this. 

And then Jacuzzi finds the two corpses in the Conductors Wagon, which is surprising when you’re first watching considering we *know* the murderous conductor was using a gun, not sawing off people's faces.(Goddammit it Claire, kill cleaner) You could explain the second corpse as being the white suit we see get the uniform in the second episode, but if you’re looking at the corpses, the body with the face torn off is the one that looks like the Young Conductor, not the Lemure Conductor. This isn’t exactly important considering it’s revealed later, but i like that the detail can be seen. Hey, this anime is doing a better job at the Mystery genre than BBC’s Sherlock!

And at the end, with the faceoff in the Dinner Wagon, I'm calling it a night.

Well, I'll be posting this in the morning evening after as I'll be doing some formatting at my PC tomorrow, but it's midnight and I'm rather tired after MCM Manchester.