#edit: WILD update!! am now back in bed and when I extend my right leg in a certain way

[what-even-is-sleep]

Lucid Dreams:

I dreamt I was standing unsteadily on top of a bucket and underneath was a large and angry snake. A crowd of friendly people and children stood nearby, definitely in danger if the snake escaped. Two people were helping me balance. The one on the left with a sturdy arm for me to grip, the one on the right dizzy on their feet—just enough to make me have to work to balance still. The one on the left had only two long fingers per hand, and each hand was burned blue and black.

[mycelier]

My name is Simone and I would like to tell you a tale!

I will not have access to my laptop for some days more and because writing on my phone is kind of painful (physically, because I am working on hand mobility now), this may end up in drafts and taking a while to post. I am going to share what has been happening the last 2 months because I feel like everything went from 0 to 100 in the span of a few weeks and its been really, really wild.

So!!! LETTUCE begin!

For roughly 5 years I've been struggling to get a diagnosis on an extremely painful area of my arm. There was literally nothing visible; no lump, discoloration or any other physical abnormality to indicate anything was wrong. I spent thousands on pretty much every kind of imaging you can do, and was told time and time again that there was nothing wrong and, perhaps, it was psychosomatic and I needed therapy or, more often than not, I was given a shrug and a vague "i dunno" response.

This year, something changed. I deal with chronic pain (my spine is congenitally fused in my neck and lower spine and I have baby bone spurs all over), and in the process of trying to work on that I brought up my arm again to a dr I no longer see. He'd told me my arm was SEVERAL things over the years I had been seeing him but this time said it was a fibromyalgia knot, something I had been told by a team of doctors some time before that. I said okay cool and was sent to a physical therapy rehab center where the dr worked with myofascial release and stretches to help with injuries. This amazing man fixed my plantar fasciitis and helped get my chronic headaches under control but NOTHING we did helped my arm pain. Within a month he was worried bc we had started to notice that there was a hardness to the spot that never changed with any exercise or massage.

Worried that there was a nerve being trapped or crushed (another diagnosis I'd gotten over the years), this amazing man sent me to a neurosurgeon who immediately frowned and said he didn't think my neck pain and my arm pain were connected. He ordered an MRI of my arm and despite it not being visible on an MRI 2 years before, he found something PHYSICALLY THERE where I said I had pain. He considered doing the surgery to remove it (despite being a neurosurgeon he was fascinated with this weird horribly painful spot) but eventually sent me a surgeon for an oncology center, assuring me it was because this new surgeon was one of the best in Texas for removing soft tissue tumors, not because there was any thought of cancer.

I met with the surgeon who gave me one more diagnosis of an AVM (arteriovenous malformation), snd said they were benign and not necessary to remove as well as the possibility that if removed it would likely return. Truly, at this point after 5 years of constant nauseating horric pain when someone brushed against me or if I gently brushed against ANYRHING, a pain so bad that it had basically made me stop using my right arm as much as possible (of course I'm right handed lol), I said GET THAT FUCKER OUT OF THERE MAN and my first surgery was scheduled.

Surgery one occurred Nov 5th and was an out patient event. I went home and passed out. At some point my mom said that while I'd been in recovery the dr said the thing in my arm hadn't looked like what he expected so he had sent it to pathology. I went back to work and was hanging out until the Tuesday before Thanksgiving when I went in for a super immediate meeting with a different doctor who told me that what had been in my arm was a synovial sarcoma, aka, cancer! He, this incredibly kind man I did not know, gently discussed chemo and told me I needed to have a CT scan immediately. Based on the CT, i was either in stage one or stage four if it has spread to lungs. The day before Thanksgiving I received the news that it was stage one, it had not spread, and i was so fucking happy.

Then it was time talk about next steps. My surgeon marked out a circle on my arm to indicate how much he was gonna remove in order to guarantee clear margins..but it was not enough of a meeting for me to grasp the surgery I was about to receive.

The day of my second surgery, dec 8th, came quickly and i met with the plastic surgeon, the kindest, most patient man. He moved my arm around and explained how he was going to hijack a vein from my forearm in order to keep the blood flow health to the flap he was gonna take from the donor site: My inner thigh.

It has been 11 days and I am living in an inpatient rehab facility, working on dealing with the nerve damage/pain, the EXTREME pain of my donor site, and the lost mobility that I am working on getting back, both in my leg and my hand. The majorities of my arm is numb...except where the nerve pain burns my wrist and forearm and makes it painful to wear my arm sling (I can't fully extend my arm, nor can I lift, push, pull or use my arm in any way that would stress out my new arm flap). Also may have a brand new urinary tract infection but as I write this I'm chugging water for a urine sample to hopefully get that treated. Below are some pictures I have taken/had taken of my arm! Im not ready to look at my leg outside of the bandages (which, since having the wound vac removed today, hell yeah, will need daily dressing changes).

EDIT: I tried posting pictures of my arm last night and my post disappeared immediately so I will try to make a new post with these photos in case the whole post was erased because of them. I will tag them as post surgery photos. I do not consider them gory or excessive but hey that's just me.

I intend to post more things as I keep healing and as I gain more mobility. I was given "independence" in my room yesterday which means I can officially get up without any assistance needed (using my badass new cane to help me lift my foot in and out of bed)!!!! Which also means I can get up whenever I want without the bed alarm going off. I have a badass cane that has been the best tool in helping me get around (and has inspired my mom and others to suggest and look into getting me a cane sword which makes me laugh REAL hard). See below me using the cane to move my foot in and out of bed!

Part of why I'm posting this is because I really needed to talk about it and while later posts may not be this long or expository but I wanted to have a base post to explain other ones related to this one!!!

I will update with some newer pics tomorrow night when my mom comes by to help me take newer pics. The arm flap looks super healthy (according to the drs), and when they changed my leg dressing they said its looking really good and healthy!

I......also really wanted to post my Amazon wishlist. Due to this stupid wild bad lottery ticket, I've been struggling to pay my bills and rent but!!! I have good insurance, thankfully (since I live in the US and my hospital stay and this rehab stay would have more than bankrupted me), and im hoping my disability checks will get here in time for rent!!! I'm putting up my wishlist bc I can't afford some of the "essentials" on there and, also, because I havent been able to have any kind of comfort during any of this. I never ask for anything for holidays because usually i...dont want to burden people with spending money on me since I know how hard money is, especially right now. And if I don't have enough for rent later I might have to create a go fund me...but right now everything looks good for rent and bills just...not for anything fun.

Thank you so much for your time!!! And happy holidays you wild bastards!!!

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/36PG6BAYD18U7?ref_=wl_share

[im-hqlover]

Weekly Update Post.

(Okay, doing this a second time because tumblr bugged, I hope it works now.) 

Soooo, I decided that I will do an update post every week, reporting on the status of what I'm writing, along with a little spoiler of what I've already written, so, spoiler alert!

As you can see I have written a lot of things, but my problem is that somehow i can't get some of my ideas down on paper, because of that i'm writing several things at the same time, but it comes to a point that i just don't know how to unfold the story, and this is annoying me a lot. I hope you understand why I haven't posted anything recently.

Arkham Knight (AK) - Chapter 2 

Words written so far: 1473

Status: Last edition 40 days ago / Very hard written block / Hiatus / I may have to rewrite this

Spoiler:

- Baby, I'm going to have to go back to Bludhaven.

- Can I go with you? - I asked him while turning off my cell phone and paying attention to him. 

- No, you better stay here, it's safer. 

- But- 

- No, you will stay here, it is the best, and you know it. - He approaches me and I get up from the couch and stand in front of him. 

- Okay… just be careful. 

- I promise. - He takes my hand and kisses it softly, he always did that when he promised me something. - I'll be back tomorrow, okay? 

Arranged marriage/Royal AU (AM/RAU) - Chapter 4 

Words written so far: 2693 

Status: Last edition a week ago (or are there two? I don't remember)/ Writing block / Little hiatus / May I need to rewrite.

Spoiler: I had my suspicions that this was supposed to be a gift from Jason, since he was the only option for me to have left a gift on our bed, but why would he give me a gift? Maybe I was wrong and he just left it there to deliver to someone else later. 

Dinosaur Trainer (DT) - Chapter 2 

Words written so far: 5827

Status: Last edition yesterday / Little Tiny Writing Block / Thinking about what the other characters would say is a very difficult task.

Spoiler:

- Owen Grady, it's nice to meet you. - He extends his hand, I shake it too and return the smile. 

- It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Grady. - We pulled our hands away, and again, I don't know how I didn't stutter to answer. 

- Call me Owen. - I nod, and muttered an "ok", he greeted Mr. Masrani and then the four of us sit at the round table, Simon was still sitting across from me, with Hoskins at his left side, and Owen standing between Hoskins and me. Kodi continued to lie on my left side, occasionally taking cold water from the glass bowl. 

DT - Fallen Kingdom - A new life (part 2 of Mistakes) 

Words written so far: 1230 

Status: Last edition 3 days ago / Little Written Block 

Spoiler:

- Look, Sleeping Beauty woke up. - He approached the two of us with a bag and coffee cups, I just roll my eyes at what he said and hear Maisie laugh.

- My prince charming didn't come to wake me with a kiss of true love. - I answer him by joining the game, and Owen and Maisie laugh, I try to sit up with a lot of effort, but it seems to me that I was still a little weak. 

- Wait. Maisie, can you hold this for me? - He handed her the bag and the coffees, and then put a hand on my back to help me adjust. - How are you? 

Outer Space is the Limit (OSitL) - Chapter 1 

Words written so far: 3450 

Status: Last edition 5 days ago / Little Writing Block

Spoiler:

- I am Groot! - That being on my leg raised its head looking at me with big eyes, and in a way I found it kind of cute? Okay, maybe that was weird. Peter approaches me and crouches in front of me, close to where was what it said was Groot.

- Well, it seems to me that you already knew Groot - Peter removes the small being from my leg and puts it on his shoulder, and then offers his hand which I took nervously, and then he helps me to stand again. 

- I am groot! - The little one raises its hands in the air when saying its name animatedly. 

There's an alien in my bed (TAB) - Chapter 1 

Words written so far: 4360

Status: Last edition 4 or 5 days ago / Little Writing Block 

Spoiler:

- Why the hell do you think he's gonna come because of me? - I feel my throat burn as I speak. 

- Because apparently you're the only one he really cares about. - As soon as he said, more tears fell. 

- If he really cared about me, he wouldn't have left me without telling me. - I whisper, saying it more to myself than to anyone else.  

Ideas I had but I don't know when or if I will actually write 

Passengers - Jim Preston x reader

What I have in mind: Six months after Jim Preston woke up, another hibernation capsule gave problem, y/n l/n awakens from hibernation almost 90 years before reaching Homestead II, when she woke up everything looked confused, but it got worse when she didn't see anyone there, if they were about to arrive at Homestead II, how was she the only one awake? Or she thought she was the only one awake, until she finds Jim Preston. 

Back to the Wild West (BWW)- The Magnificent Seven - Joshua Faraday x reader

What I have in mind: Y/n L/n and Marty Collins are fanatical about the Back to the Future trilogy, and when the boredom of Social Isolation due to the pandemic hits them, Marty, who is a scientist, decides that he would create a time machine, of course y/n said he was crazy to think that would be possible, but he did, but then regret knocks on his door when he makes it work, that would be a mistake, they would have to destroy it, leave no trace and not let anyone know. But y/n had other plans, she wanted to go back to the wild west, just stay a day or two to see what it was like and then come back. Marty hesitantly accepted, and so they took what was needed and y/n went back to the wild west, but she ends up getting stuck there, how would she get back to her time? What wrong could happen? 

PrattPack Imagines/Oneshots/Headcanons. 

I'm kind of stealing the idea from @im-an-octopus where she does some headcanon about some Chris Pratt's characters, and I really wanted to do something like that, but I don't know if I'm really going to do this or when I'm going to do this, but it's been on my mind for a few days now. (And maybe accept requests from them)

Characters that would include:

Peter Quill

Owen Grady

Josh Faraday

Jim Preston 

Andy Dwyer (maybe, I need to watch more Parks and Recreation to find out more about him)

Onward - Barley Lightfoot x Reader

I'm divided into three ideas, and I don’t know if I write them all or choose only one. 

First: Y/n is a mermaid, coming from a special lineage with several stories, and perhaps one of the only families that continues with her ancient traditions, so she along with her father, mother and brother ended up moving away from the rest of the family and moving to Mushroom Town, but when she finds out that her family is in danger, an unknown person says that she must find two people, a wizard and a knight, she was very confused because of this, and said that wizards no longer exist, but not long after she sees a news about Ian Lightfoot she went to find him, because she believed he was who that unknown person was talking to. Maybe this will be a long journey. What surprises await for you?

(both the second and the third would happen kind of in an AU where it happens in the real world, and everyone is human)

Second: Y/n is new to the city, and is in the penultimate year of High School, she feels out of place and alone, in the beginning some people even tried to be friends with her, but when y/n realized that they were assholes she walked away and decided it was better to be alone, who needs friends, right? Everything seemed to be going well, or at least the best possible, until school literature work needed to be done in pairs, the pairs were drawn and she ended up with Barley Lightfoot, she wasn't very comfortable with that, not because of the things she had heard about him, but because she really didn't want to do that to other people, because she was afraid that she could do something and he would end up making fun of her and she would suffer again, but things were much better than she expected and maybe that was the beginning of a new friendship? Or something else? 

Third: Y/n's younger brother got hooked by QoY, and because of that, he and his friends would go to an event that would take place in the city, where it would be kind of a rpg but with everyone acting and dressing properly instead of being on the board, with their father traveling, y/n is responsible for taking his brother there and waiting until everything is over, but maybe with some events the heart of y/n will end up being stolen by a handsome knight.