#edit: NOT TO MENTION THE WEIRD MORALIZING ABOUT FOOD?

[rocaillefox]

the anime romantic killer does genuinely seem like just a tone shift away from becoming a horror show

[onmyyan]

Marcos Delmont HC's

A/N: omg he's here NOT EDITED

TW'S : YANDERE, MURDER MENTIONED, POSSESSIVE, WEED

Marcos Delmont is the kinda guy your parents told you to stay away from, but you just can't help yourself.

6'2 and growing, he's not as big as his older brothers but he's still nothing to play with.

Possessive yandere give him all your love and everything will be smooth sailing.

Loves metal music.

Can play the guitar but rarely gets to.

Pierced his own ears in the kitchen one night cuz Manny bet he wouldn't.

Low-key a fashionista, no matter where he is he makes sure to look as good as possible.

Has a secret handshake with his twin.

He loves horror and thinks it's a romance genera.

When he smiles for real his eyes crinkle and the cutest dimple pops out on his left cheek.

Please wear his clothes.

Likes to take pictures of you, especially if you don't know he's there.

Bisexual and the last person to give him any shit about it ended up splattered all over the wall.

Sadistic in the way where he'll tease you until tears bead in your lashes just to kiss them away, he thinks you look so pretty when you cry for him.

But make no mistake, he's the only one allowed to make you cry. Anyone else who does is a problem. And he has a very permanent solution to those.

Has a warehouse in the dingiest part of town that's his little safe haven, this is where he likes to take his 'problems' has a drain in the floor for better clean up.

Killed the earliest out of all his brothers.

Also the best at it? Had a phase where he watched nothing but true crime just to learn what not to do.

Smells like good cologne and faintly of weed.

Has smoked the devils lettuce since he was a teenager and even has a side hustle where he sells it, no one besides Manny knows this, he's saving up to get away from his Father's iron grip.

It's not for moral reasons, he just has a problem with authority and taking orders for the rest of his life didn't fly with him.

Walks around like he knows he's the finest mf in the room.

Seems unshakable but between you and me he has days where all he does is lock himself in his room, bump mitski, and cry about the child he never got to be.

Huuuge fuckboy which is so ironic because all he wants is true, unrestricted, unconditional love, but he's terrified of letting anyone close enough to get it.

Bit of a pyro, loves how flames can be so beautiful and destructive at the same time.

Once lit a trash can on fire just to get his twin outta trouble.

Masochistic tendencies.

Kinda guy to smile like a psycho when someone tries to fight him because now he has an excuse to be violent.

Their last name carries serious weight in his town and he uses it to it's full advantage.

Since he's one of the youngest he's kinda spoilt, when he doesn't get his way immediately he will pitch a fit, someone usually ends up dead.

He and Manny have that weird twin telepathy.

Loves spicy food, it's the only thing he can make.

Knows how to ride a skateboard, before he could drive it's how he got around.

His reputation around campus was the guy you went to for the best bud, and if you wanted to get your back blown out no strings.

Tells people not to fall for him and they think he's being cocky, which to be fair he absolutely is, but it's also a valid warning.

Likes how people get addicted to him.

Never really felt all that bad when he broke hearts.

Then he meets you.

See before you He'd fool around with a guy and a girl in the same friend group and never have either find out, unless he was feeling particularly bored that day, then he'd tell them, but deliver it in such a 'heartfelt' and 'genuine' way they'd leave feeling sorry for upsetting him.

That all goes to say, he has an intimidating reputation by freshman year in college, but with the way your year had been, you deserved a good bake sesh to relax, so one day you muscled up the courage and took the plunge, unknowingly sealing your fate.

When he meets you, everything changes for him. You shyly pull him aside at the party of some asshole he can't remember, the girl he'd been chatting up literally tossed aside as he gave you his full attention. He'd seen you around campus before, darting between your friends and classes like a little bunny on a mission. The thought had him laser focused, what could such a sweet thing want with the schools big bad wolf?

"Hey Marcos right? I'm (Y/n). From science?" You stuck out your hand to shake his in what he could only describe as an adorable display of dork. He returned the gesture snd tried not to visibly jump at the jolt of electricity that ran up his arm the second he made contact with your soft skin.

"Hello (Y/n) from science." He took a purposeful sip of his cup, tongue flicking over the bottoms of his teeth, "What God do I gotta' thank for getting you to finally talk to me?" He could tell the laugh you gave was real and all of a sudden that's all he wanted to do, be the reason you made such pretty sounds.

"I heard you have good bud? Am I saying that right? I swear I'm not a narc I'm just poorly socialized." This time he genuinely laughed, the unfamiliar feeling blooming in his core- it scared him, terrified him in how fast he became addicted to it. "I think you're nailing it personally- here let's go upstairs I know just the thing to help." He made a big show of bowing for your hand which pulled more flustered giggles from you.

You moved to gently place your hand in his before hesitating. "This isn't gonna' cut to you 'Michael Myersing' me right?" He could see the actual worry hidden behind the humor you used and then and there something in him shifted, he usually took both delight and active participation in others despair, but that fearful look in your eye when you asked, didn't sit well within him all at, he dropped his hand to put down his drink at the closest counter, then quickly pulled out his phone before gesturing for you to do the same, and flipped it around to show an older womans smiling face.

"This is my mom's number- I do anything you don't like or say something particularly stupid, you can call her and tell her I'm up to no good which would in fact be signing my death certificate." You stared at him in disbelief before adding the number to speed dial, "Okay- lead the way." You nodded in the direction of the stairs pulling the grin back to his lips. He gently threaded his fingers with your own and all at once he understood why his Father's personality shifted in front of his Mother the way it did- why he softened for her.

First time he spends the night at your place he just assumes you wanna get down and dirty because he's never not fucked after being invited over, but then you're like 'no I actually just wanted to cuddle and talk, tell me about your day :)" he can tell your actually interested and it makes him feel all sorts of things, he's used to people wanting him for his body, so when you hold him against your chest he starts bawling.

He's never truly felt held, not like that, tells you he loves you that night.

"I'm not some bitch made guy who's gonna wait till' you say because that's what I'm "supposed" to do- I know what I feel, I know I love you."

Whines when you leave the bed, even if you're just going to pee he's waiting for you when you get back.

Likes the intimacy of bathing with you, not even sexy times, just being there in such a vulnerable state.

When he rolls up better believe you're in his lap, he claims his blunts come out prettier when he's looking at you.

Love languages are quality time, gift giving, and physical touch.

He's low-key insatiable when it comes to you, half of him feels immensely guilty he had partners before you and the other half is proud because those experiences made him know his way around the bedroom.

[ponyextulparlog]

Log # [REDACTED]

[Pony Express long-haul space freighter "Tulpar"] [Crew: Five]

[Planned Shipment Duration: 382 Days]

[Elapsed Transit Time: 147 Days] [ I HOPE THIS HURTS.] ...

... .. Hello? Hello? Ah, hello. I've been trying to log into this site for like, a while now, since apparently my password has already been used once to create an account under the name "PonyLover739".. Wonder who that is. Nevertheless, feels weird to be here. Tumblr's the only thing that properly runs on our wifi though, so we'll just have to settle for that. I go by Curly, I'm the captain of the Tulpar. Our crew consists of Jimmy- my co-pilot, Swansea as our mechanic, Anya as our nurse and Daisuke as our last-minute placed intern.. I should've really made a bigger stink about that. I'll mostly use this for frequent updates on our supplies for food, water and whatnot, as well as our current distance from our destination. Feel free to interact, if you really want to. Just know that I'm a pretty busy guy and responding may take a while.. ---- //OOC info hi i'm ewren (@hellishkittycat) and this is my mouthwashing acc, as demanded by my brain worms. pre crash Curly rp acc like all the five thousand others, yk the deal. mod speaking/out of character posts will be tagged as such and start with //. ex: //hi i like crack. publish post i go by it/neo/any (< pref order) this Curly's timeline is set BEFORE everything went down, at the start start start of it all. so no, Jimmy hasn't commited any crimes.. Yet, and Curly trusts him with controlling the ship, unaware of what may happen in the future.

this Curly is very morally gray, world's weirdest little freak who prefers looking at the bigger picture and avoiding direct confrontation unless necessary. He's under tons of stress and is constantly zoning out. PLEASE AVOID MENTIONING POST-CRASH EVENTS!! like i said this is set very early in the game. SUGGESTIVE ASKS AND THREATS ARE ALLOWED BUT TO A BARE MINIMUM. no weird shit like "i wanna get you pregnant". you MAY insult him. lightly. you may also compliment him or flirt but it won't get far. no nsfw get your horny ass out of here DNI list is simple. just don't support pedo/incest/zoo/pro/radfem/lgbtq+phobia/ableism/ whatever and you'll be good. if i find out you fall under any of these labels (i WILL be checking), you'll get blocked. ship related rp (update): FINEEE I GIVE INN jimcurly is allowed because from a narrative standpoint it fuels all the anguish these ppl go thru. and i like anguish. anything else is a no-go. PLEASE INTERACT: fellow mouthwashing fans, other rp blogs, cool fellas (this includes outside media blogs and ocs!!) CREW BLOG AFFILIATIONS: n/a (contact me if you wish to get added!) !! SOMETIMES OUT OF CHARACTER!! PROBABLY MORE THAN SOMETIMES!! i'm trying my best tho so if you have any advice on improvement do tell !! STRICT RULES: I DO NOT CONDONE HARASSMENT OF ANY KIND. some of yall need to chill the fuck out + i cuss sometimes if that wasn't noticeable already. UPDATE: don't get too personal in here. this is all for fun, i already struggle with enough issues of my own and i'd rather not receive anything too serious (vent posts, for example). please for both our sakes. i've seen people struggle with this and i don't want it to happen here, either. I am also a minor, so if that bothers you i suggest blocking me. ADDED INFO: this Curly is 35, 'merican, probably with some undiagnosed stuff going on, bi, and really stupid (canon). THIS POST HAS BEEN MAJORLY EDITED.

[agalnamedlunasea]

One thing I love about komaru is that she's a total weirdo freak, but in a very normal way. Like in the way where you know people like her.

Basically the entire danganronpa cast is weirdos, even the "normal" ones. But unlike makoto, who is actually pretty normal besides the incredible moral fortitude and faith in others, and hajime, who seems normal at first but then you come to realize he has a lot going on, komaru is just. Normal people weird. She likes weird food combos. She can see ghosts. She likes weird manga. You know people like her.

I think that's really funny and cool

EDIT: I FORGOT TO FUCKING MENTION SHE JUST. IS IMMEDIATELY GOOD AT DRIVING A MOTORCYCLE. SHE'S SO WEIRD I LOVE HER

[zodiacs-web]

You write for Chainsawman? If so, may I ask for a platonic Kishibe and reader as his trainee? Maybe reader-chan sees him as a father figure perhaps?

Father

𖥔 Kishibe x Gn!Reader

𖥔 Synopsis: Kishibe and his trainee

𖥔 What's in the web: Platonic, hurt/comfort, mentions of alcohol, OoC Kishibe (?), barley edited

Part II

The first day you both met, he was sitting hunched over on a bench, tears stung your eyes as you watch him take a swig of his drink. You were at a park, not far from the building you just left. You were only a teenager when you met, his dull eyes staring back at your bloodshot ones.

"You look horrible," He said. "Were you sent here like that?"

Stifling a laugh as you looked away, not knowing why you found that so funny but nonetheless you found it funny. You were so young and innocent looking besides the eyes yet she told you to join the organization and Kishibe had to take care of you whether he liked it or not.

"Let me ask you a few questions." He patted the seat next to him. "But sit first."

You hesitantly moved near him, holding your breath as you neared closer, step after step. Finally sitting next to him after what felt like years, he let out a sigh once his mind started racing of what made them send you to him.

"Are you sure you want to join? I mean risking your life just to kill a devil."

"..."

"Or did she make you join?"

You glanced over at him, his face telling that he got it right. He sighs as he can already see Makima's smile in his mind, her morality ceasing with every step she takes. The youngest she took in was Denji so making her feel bad about you was not an option, nor was it ever an option.

He felt like he was supposed to make her feel that way but seeing her past behavior signaled red flags. He placed his hands on his knees and lifting himself from his spot, motioning you to follow him.

"Where are we going?" You asked, bare feet kicking up the dirt.

"To go eat." He responded.

"Oh."

He watched as you shove a hamburger down your throat, hunger stinging you for the past few days. It kind of reminded him of a dog eating anything even if it was poison, a dog who follows those who even show the slightest of kindness.

He wouldn't treat you that way, he would treat you like a human, not a dog who's only purpose is to die. Not like Makima who sought you as one. He doesn't want to be like her.

Your relationship grew as time went on he'd barely pay attention to you, eyeing the scars yet never saying anything. Seeing your eyes grow dull like his and he couldn't stand a teen like you growing up in an environment like this one. So he changed his method, he'd talk to you after your mission, asking what happened and what you wanted to do afterwards.

You'd give him weird looks but decided to just follow. After a while this became a standard thing you two had done, to keep your mind away from the growing pain. When you were on a mission, his hands shook with fear that'd you'd be dead. But you only returned with scars on your body and a smile that told him that you wanted to share the entire experience.

He never smiled, but he was still happy you were alive even as he watched shoved food down your throat.

"Hey! Can I call you dad?" You teased as you held a bottle of alcohol, a red ribbon tied around it, in your hand.

"I'd rather not." He scoffed as he took the bottle out of your hands. "We've only known each other for a few months, wait a few years then comeback."

"Oh? So you're not against the idea of being called dad."

"I'd rather marry a pretty lady and have her child call me dad than you."

You pouted as you took back the bottle and started walking away.

"You'll get arrested if you hold that bottle out so open. You're not of age."

"Let them take me."

He scoffed once more as he stood up to follow you.

"You're annoying."

[uncpanda]

The Ties that Bind: Gideon Finds Out

 AN: This takes place after the chapter  unplanned in season 6! Huge SHOUT OUT to the following people who helped brainstorm and edit this chapter @hotforhotchner11 @originalsoulduck and @ladyofsnark Y’all were lifesavers when it came to figuring this thing out.

Warnings: mentions of emotional trauma 

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader

Master List

“Are you sure I can’t help? Contrary to what you think, I do know my way around a kitchen.” 

“The last time I let you help, I ended up with stitches.” 

You gape, “That wasn’t my fault!” 

“You handed me the knife blade first.” He waves you away, “You’re worse than Stephen. And I didn’t think that was possible.” 

You steal a carrot and laugh, as Jason rolls his eyes. “So cooking skills aren’t genetic?” 

“Apparently not. I’ve been trying to teach him, and we’re making progress.” 

You pour a glass of wine, “That’s good.” 

“Yeah. He no longer burns the water.” 

Silence lapse between the two of you. Dinners at Gideon’s cabin are a fairly common thing. Right up there with the coffee shop the two of you visit. They usually happen when the team is on a case, and lately they haven’t happened regularly because you’ve been spending most of your time with Aaron and Jack and Spencer. 

You still haven’t found a way to tell Gideon you and Aaron are a thing now. It shouldn’t be weird but it is. It almost feels like you’re telling your dad. It’s been nearly six months - you should really just get it over with. 

“I can almost see the steam coming out of your ears. What are you thinking about?” 

“Nothing much.” 

He levels a look at you, “Nothing wouldn’t happen to be a unit chief in a suit, who rarely smiles, would it?” 

Your mouth drops open, “How did you know?” 

He moves the pan off the heat, “I called this years ago, when you told me you’d become friends with him. Plus when we had coffee about two months ago you had a hickey on the back of your neck. Who knew Hotch liked to leave marks?” 

You shiver, “Please. Please. Please. Change the subject.” 

“We can’t talk about your love life? You question me about mine all the time.” 

You laugh, “No. I don’t. You tell me about your flings, and ask for my advice, which I don’t get because it’s not like I have much experience.”

He rolls his eyes, “Joel was a dick. How are you and Hotch doing?” 

He’s not going to let up on this. He reminds you of a bulldog who won’t let go of a bone. “We’re good. We spend every spare moment together. And Jack is adorable and so sweet.” 

Gideon starts dishing up the plates and then leads you to the table. You grab the wine and settle down across from him. “How’s he been about work?” You can see the hesitation in his eyes. 

“He stayed behind on a case so he wouldn’t have to cancel our first date.” 

“Hotch?” 

You smile, “Yeah.” 

Gideon rests his forearms on the table, “I’m glad he’s learning quicker than I did.” 

You suppose you’re doing this, “He calls me every night when he’s on a case, and he’ll text throughout the day. When he’s home, he makes sure he isn’t working. And he knows if he stays too late that I’ll go down there and drag him home. It’s good. We’re good.”  

There’s several seconds of cutlery hitting plates and chewing before Gideon asks, “Then why do you sound like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop?” 

The food in your mouth suddenly loses its taste, “What do you mean?” 

“You’re smiling, you’re telling me that everything is good. You’re telling me that Hotch, who I’m going to assume has entered therapy because you wouldn’t let him get away with unresolved trauma, is putting you and your relationship first, but you look scared out of your freaking mind.” 

You bristle, “I don’t look scared.” 

He scoops another bite of food onto his fork, “You hide it well. You hide it very well. You’ve had to over the years. You were the mature one. You were the only one you had to rely on. Your parents were next to useless, not that I can claim the moral high ground there, and Spencer was too young, your boyfriend Bryan was a delusional idiot, and Joel . . .there was a part of you that knew you couldn’t rely on him. 

“And now there’s Aaron. You’ve found a partner. Someone to carry part of the load, to support you when you’re not feeling great, and you’re terrified.”

You stare at Jason. You’re not quite sure how he does it. How he breaks down walls your therapist can only chip away at. 

“I’m scared he’ll leave . . . like everyone else.” 

THAT gets his attention, “What?”  

“I never knew my bio dad and according to Diana it was no loss. I don’t even know if he knew about me. Then there was William. Well, you know what happened there. And Mom? She checked out too. She won’t even see me, since I had her hospitalized. Spencer left for the FBI. And it’s not fair of me to think that way, but it feels like he left. And sometimes it feels like he only let me back in because he was drowning.

“And Joel . . .” you let out a breath, “You know what happened there.” 

His eyes narrow, “Not all of it. What else is there?” 

“How do you  . . .?” 

“You have tells when you’re holding something back and no, I’m not going to tell you.” 

“After I ended up in the emergency room with my foot last year, I saw him again. Saw his mistress, too. Had a panic attack. Aaron and the others swarmed in to protect me. And after a few days I was fine.  I was on my way to my car when SHE showed up. 

“And I’m in a cast. I can’t get away. I didn’t have the balance to punch her. I highly considered clawing her eyes out. Not because I missed Joel, but because she just added on to trauma I already had. I mean Aaron’s a lawyer he probably could have gotten me off with community service.” 

The joke falls flat, and Gideon nudges you, “What did she want?” 

“She wanted to apologize. She said it wasn’t fair that she and Joel had carried around behind my back for over a year. They had tried to stop it but they couldn’t. They loved each other and could I please withdraw my complaint because it was going to affect his career at the hospital and they have TWO kids now.

“I never filed a complaint. I certainly didn’t know that Joel was cheating on me for half our relationship, while asking me to consider giving him a baby. I should have been the bigger person . . .” 

“Screw that. They made their bed, now let them lie in it. It’s a great lesson of cause and effect.” 

You let out a bark of laughter, “I went to the hospital to see who had filed the complaint. It had been Aaron. Not on my behalf just as himself. Apparently his word carried a lot of weight when they realized he was not only a lawyer but with the FBI. I’ve never asked him about it.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I know what he’ll say. He did it to defend me, and that’s true. But I also think he did it because he hates Joel. He hates that Joel hurt me.” 

Jason smiles, “Because he loves you. Loved you even back then and you two were just too stupid to see it.” 

“Thanks.” 

“Just speaking the truth. But back to the issue at hand. What is scaring you about this?” 

Your tongue darts out to wet your lips, “I’m scared Aaron will leave too, and I don’t think I’d survive it. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before. And that terrifies me. And each day we get deeper and deeper. I’m moving in with them next week. And Jack has started calling me mommy, and I know I didn’t give birth to him, and I KNOW how much Haley loved him and that I won’t measure up, but I’m already thinking of him like my own. And Spencer fits in so well, and Jess does too, and if I lose that . . . I don’t think I’ll be able to pick myself up again. I’ll shatter, Jason.” The tears come. You can’t help it. 

You bury your face in your hands and let them come. You hear his chair scrape against the floor and then his arm wraps around you. 

Quietly, his mouth right near your ear, he whispers, “Aaron isn’t going anywhere. He doesn’t leave people behind. Especially when he loves someone. And he loves you. It’s okay for you to be happy. It’s okay to trust yourself and him. It’s okay to love him and the family the two of you are making. You are allowed to have this. You are allowed to be happy.” 

You look up at him, “If this goes bad. . .” 

“It won’t. And you know that or you wouldn’t be moving in with him. You would have kept Spencer at a distance like you did with Joel. You wouldn’t have allowed yourself to get this far. And if. . . by some chance he hurts you, you’ll  be okay.” 

“I’m all out of tape and glue, Jason.” 

“I’ve got some you can borrow and I’m good at putting things back together. And I’ll help you, after I kill Hotch. I can be your safety net.” 

Gideon reaches out and pushes a tear off your cheek and smiles. “You’re okay.”

And you believe him.

[teaandabiccie]

Staw Hat Dad HCs

Franky

Dad jokes aplenty. Some of them land. Most of them don’t. Every one is weird. Robin enjoys all of them

Has the potential to be ultimate grill dad but also an excess of ‘unsupervised uncle’ energy. Can grill like a pro - but it needs more fire. Also, of course we can grill Luffy’s sandal. Why tf not?

Definitely ultimate DIY Dad. Volcano school project? Let’s make it explode!

Embarrasses you in public. It’s not intentional.

Dad dancing, enough said.

Jinbei

Doesn’t dad joke often but when he does, he delivers it with such a straight face that it is automatically a banger. Sees an opportunity and takes it. Is he smiling afterwards? Yes. Just wants you to feel joy. Secretly thinks he’s hilarious. Actually kind of is.

Not an incredible griller but can’t go wrong with a BBQ sausage. Likes to hang out in the grill vicinity and sample the wares

Only knows how to complete tasks one way - the way he was taught. Will try to pass on this knowledge with great patience. The knowledge is unintelligable. Why do you need to carry the one? What are these lines for?

Also dad dancing but it takes a while

Usopp

DIY Dad in training. You know that screencap of Miles Morales watching Peter Parker? That is Usopp and Franky.

Does actually have some common sense and the ability to work out how things come together.

Wouldn’t grill Luffy’s sandal.

But what if we get a flamethrower and char the steak from both sides? Wouldn’t it cook twice as fast?

Zoro

Not a Dad. Dad level swings between big brother energy to grandpa but never stops over the dad zone

Could handle babysitting a child but the seriousness with which he would take it is directly proportionate to how old that child is.

The picture of the guy holding a child by the ankles? That’s Zoro. 

Chaos participation varies depending on the day and nap requirements, but he’s probably not going to stop it. He’s either involved or might step in after the fact to make sure nobody dies.

Surprisingly competent grill operator. Expert consumer of beer.

Dad jokes? Not really but like Jinbei, when he does, it lands. Always makes a retreat afterwards or acts like nothing happened.

Sanji

The embodiment of the earlier mentioned photoset of dads with daughters vs sons. Very soft around girls or small children. 

Like Zoro, not a dad. More of a disgruntled babysitter or harried mother - but not a great one.

Does not have time for this shit.

You would think he’d be a grill dad but he takes the food quality far too seriously. Is Sanji’s grilled food better than anyone else’s? Yes. But the spirit of the dad-led grilling experience is gone. The flaws make the BBQ. Sanji has none.

More of a Design Dad. Can’t fix anything around the house but world book day? Costume parties? Art project? He’s got you covered. He might not be highly skilled but he makes up for it by hours of effort and enthusiasm.

Has the insanely loud dad sneeze.

Can yell through walls if he has to.

Luffy

Absolutely not a dad

Ultimate feral child energy. Do not trust this man around small children. They will have an incredible time but survive by pure luck alone.

Doesn’t have the patience to grill

Has neither the patience nor the skill for DIY

Is the person who bounces around Franky during the grilling demanding meat and eventually spearheads the crazy grill experiments

Doesn’t understand the art of the dad joke but still finds them funny

Weirdly good at fishing

EDIT: Forgot Brook

Skipped dad, straight to eccentric grandpa.

Brook is that guy at the family reunion that nobody knows how they are related to them but everyone calls them grandpa

Gets to attend family reunion but after stern reminders on the way to not ask any young ladies about their panties

God Tier dad jokes and very deliberate dad dancing

Never grills - merely enjoys

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Why do you think Carlisle doesn't drink donated blood? I'm not asking about the rest of the Cullens because Carlisle is the only one doing the diet because of a true moral reason. He refuses to drink from humans because it would kill them; we know he has access to donated blood and that he could drink it if he wanted because of breaking dawn. I wonder if it's because he can survive without human blood but those bags may save someone else's life; or because he thinks that the people that donated that blood did it to save humans not vampires (I donate and honestly, I wouldn't mind giving blood to vampires, if they need it to survive and they don't torture me or other negative consequence why is it so different to give it to humans? The both need it).

Also if at some point we get to the point of being able to synthesize human blood and vampire's bodies could process it, do you think he'd change diets? (The current one is awful to the environment)

PS: sorry this is getting so long but another blood related thought came to mind. Why doesn't he just... keep livestock and bleed it to have food, or even just buy animal blood from the butcher (you can do that). They live stuck in a hunters gatherers life and the agricultural revolution never seems to come.

Why Doesn't Carlisle Drink Bagged Blood?

Well, drinking bagged blood isn't great either. The reason there's constantly blood drives going on, and that people were once even paid to donate blood, is that there's never enough of it.

Donated blood is desperately needed to save human life and if vampires like Carlisle start tapping into it then he's taking that away from someone who really does need it.

Carlisle can survive without it, has done so for hundreds of years before this was even an option, so why would he start now?

Now, if Carlisle had been born in this modern age, and he'd been in his starvation period. It's likely he never would have found out about the animal diet and resorted to raiding hospitals in shame instead.

However, this is not that Carlisle.

Not to mention that it'd raise suspicion around him, would not be easy to steal in the long term, and would make his life a whole lot more complicated.

What About Synthesized Blood?

If human blood could be synthesized, if the cost wasn't extraordinarily high such that it was in high demand for human medical reasons, and if it was readily available without too much suspicion, then I could see him making the switch.

I don't think being malnourished particularly bothers him but on the other hand this might stop his kids from eating endangered species all the time.

Why Not the Butcher?

I've often wondered this one myself.

In terms of Carlisle and the environment. He himself isn't that bad, Edward reports his favorite meal is venison, deer. Deer have a hunting season for a reason and it's because, as their natural predators have declined, they have tended to become over populous. Especially in the Spring and the Fall, so many damn deer everywhere. Carlisle responsibly hunting in season would actually be a very environmentally reasonable thing to do.

And personally, I imagine before the Cullens came along and became utterly disgusted with him, he lived on a diet of rats and pigeons. Those things are always around.

The rest of them, yeah, they're awful. However, a part of Carlisle likely knows that many of them are two seconds from dropping the diet, so if eating mountain lions stops them from eating Biology... I guess they can eat the mountain lions.

(Seriously, if Emmett can't wrestle bears and torture them to death, then even with Rose being adamant to remain on the diet, I can see him being far more tempted to cheat on the sly than he already is. This is "treat yo self" Emmett we're talking about.)

But back to the butcher, my main guess would be a) this option simply wasn't available for the longest time, b) the other Cullens would "nope" out if the hunting aspect were entirely removed (Emmett and Edward are particularly enamored by hunting), c) the butcher would suspect them of being a Satanist cult and call the police, d) the nutrients might break down too fast.

The first three are something that could be overcome but that last poses a fairly daunting obstacle. Carlisle and the gang are already dangerously malnourished. They're stronger than humans, but compared to what they should be, these guys are on the brink of death. Eyes changing to weird colors, biologically, is never a good thing and a sign that something is deeply wrong.

They honestly might not be able to make it on blood from a butcher.

While Carlisle would choose death if the animal diet wasn't sustainable, I do think he would relent on the "it's sustainable if I eat the blood fresh, but not if I go to the butcher".

But it's a very legitimate question I've often wondered myself.

My best guess is Carlisle tried it in the 1970's and that's the story of how he spent weeks in a coma due to starvation. EDIT: Ah, I forgot a point, perhaps the most important one. Why Don’t the Cullens Raise Livestock?

I believe Edward brings up fairly early that animals live in terror of the vampire and naturally flee from them.

Animals the Cullens raise would cruel lives living in terror, there’d have to be many of them so as not to drain them completely every fortnight (which means cramped quarters), and they’d likely die of heart attacks and stress. It’s not a good life for them

It’s a miserable life for the animals and not sustainable. I think the scheme would fall apart on them within a few months.

[foxymoxynoona]

Ashtoreth

Ok, I had told Tae_ree on ao3 that I was inspired by her story Cam Girl back in the day to barf out a little cam girl story of my own, which I then immediately abandoned. I looked and I wrote this on July 20, 2020. It's not a full story arc or anything, just a little snippet I abandoned BUT I had forgotten that actually this was a stepping stone to writing Amended and Meadow, as you'll see from some themes I repurposed. I thought I'd share even though this isn't really a complete story because I think it can be interesting to see how inspiration and ideas morph over time into something completely different.

Content warnings for this: nsfw, 18+ , cam girl, voyeurism, masturbation, I don't actually know anything about cam girls and I didn't bother to learn since this was just a little writing exercise, so there ya go...

Tattoo Artist!JK x Camgirl!Reader

He didn’t watch much. Well, he watched plenty of porn, but Jungkook didn’t follow live camgirls because seeing the show live made him feel… awkward. Nervous. It felt so intimate, to have a girl talking live to the camera, to be able to type in the chat and have her notice your comment. It made it feel too much like a living, breathing person --not that he didn’t think women in porn were real! But… it was an image he was watching. Something a woman had cultivated, edited, decided to share. A live camgirl was performing in a different way and…

Well, he just felt guiltier watching camgirls. So he didn’t watch them much. Maybe he’d tune in if there was one on, and then he’d feel too ashamed of his own… earnestness. Live cam girls were a level of intimacy that… that was cruel. That he wanted. Camgirls reminded him too clearly of what he didn’t have in real life, and that made him feel ashamed and pathetic and broken. And so he’d leave almost as soon as he started watching and go find some safe, static porn.

But there was one. Ashtoreth. He couldn’t resist her. He was pathetic, weak for this woman, and wound up making an account --which he never did-- just so he could subscribe and get alerts whenever she scheduled a show. Even just the act of getting an alert made him stiffen, made the blood start to trickle south, because he knew what was coming.

He didn’t know what Ashtoreth’s face looked like. And she often wore colored wigs, so whatever he did see wasn't identifiable She had a pretty average body, neither the fit nor voluptuous extremes that tended to dominate the suggested videos. She had a somewhat soft belly and hips and thighs. She had those stripes on the inside of her thighs, too. And a beautiful tattoo along her hip that he desperately wanted to see in closer detail. Her tits weren’t huge, but soft and squeezable and real. Sometimes she presented herself bare to the camera, other times tidy, and sometimes fully grown out. She said she felt like it was a matter of principle to create videos with natural hair growth, even if she preferred to be better kept because she often got horny and juicy throughout the day and it was easier for her to keep clean. That had fucked Jungkook up for a little while. It didn’t help that she had the prettiest pussy he had ever seen, beautifully shaped and colored, and even just tuning in to see how much he’d be able to see was worth the effort. And he liked the idea that she had principles like that.

In fact, he liked all the things she talked about. She was very personable, in a way that was horribly endearing. She played video games, which had actually been what struck him first; that was how he’d found her, because he’d seen that a camgirl was playing Overwatch with a vibrating egg in, and so he’d tuned in, and she was good, and it meant the next time he’d played, it had made him too hard to concentrate, remembering the way she’d whined and moaned and cum just after she’d won her match. Fucking dream girl.

She took suggestions of things to do from high donors, within reason. He wasn’t the only one that liked when she got sort of passionate and fixated on something interesting she’d learned and wanted to share. She spoke several languages and alternated between them --English and Spanish. She claimed to speak more Korean, but never spoke that on her cams, and Jungkook was far too shy to ask her to. It would do him in, but it was also his fucking dream. Did she really speak Korean? It seemed so unusual for a foreigner.

So he liked the things she spoke about too, he liked when she shared her interests, even though it made him feel guiltier because he knew he was looking for the wrong sorts of connections in porn. A cam girl was just performing. It was possible everything she talked about was fake. She was trying to earn money, after all. It funded the toys she bought, the pretty lingerie. People funded those things, all the men and women who tuned in to watch her tease herself into a whining mess and then cum all over the sheets. She’d taught herself to squirt on camera, even giggling at how unreliable it was. She’d just started doing some anal and admitted it made her nervous. She was just so sweet and sexy at the same time, and it all fed into this horrible, horrible fixation Jungkook had that she was his dream girl, even though he knew it wasn’t true and it wasn’t real.

And then at the end of a live, she’d curled up on her side, flushed, panting a little, hand lazily stroking her hip, and said in Korean, “By the way, I thought I’d mention here because my stats say I have a lot of viewers from Asia, but I’m looking for a tattoo artist and it’s hard to find. So if anyone knows a good one in Korea, let me know!”

Jungkook came on his hand. He hunched forward, spluttering and frozen. It had ruined his good orgasm, the shock --he always had good orgasms when he jerked himself off to watching her. He particularly loved after she came, the way she lay there and giggled sort of breathily and talked about the random things that came to mind. But he had not expected her to speak Korean for the first time. And he had not expected her to ask for tattoo artist recommendations.

He froze. He stared at the screen, grunting a little as his cock twitched. Should he-- no. He couldn’t. He shouldn’t. That would be stupid. And weird. And creepy. But like… what the fuck? Did she actually live in Korea?? Her profile didn’t give a location, but he’d always assumed the States since she spoke English primarily. Did… what… and she needed a tattoo artist…

“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck,” he grumbled, grabbing a tissue and wiping his hand off. He couldn’t say anything. He shouldn’t.

But if he didn’t, her other followers would, right? Why was she asking for recs? She was setting herself up for harassment! She couldn’t just ask people who watched her pleasure herself for IRL recommendations!

Frantic with a need to protect her, it was perhaps the only thing that could have led him to message her.

GKtat97: hello. Are you sure it’s a good idea to ask for suggestions here? You could get bad guys answering

Ashtoreth: hello. Are you saying you’re a bad guy? ;)

GKtat97: no! I’m very serious! Be safe! But if you need a place my friend does really good tattoos in seoul. I don’t know where you are looking but I didn’t know you were in Korea

Ashtoreth: oh really? Yes I have moved a few times but I’m currently in Korea. Does your friend work in a parlor somewhere?

GKtat97: yes. Byeolbit Tattoo downtown. Whole studio of great artists

Ashtoreth: awesome, thank you! Have you had work done there?

GKtat97: yeah

Ashtoreth: cool I will definitely take a look. Thank you for the recommendation! What’s your friend’s name?

GKtat97: anyone there is good but my friend is jjk. If you ask for him, he’ll hook you up

Ashtoreth: excellent, I’ll check out his portfolio on their website. Thanks babe :*

Fuck fuck fuck, what was he doing? If anything, he should have suggested her to one of his friends there. Because what if she actually did follow up? What if she made an appointment and came in for a tattoo by him and he got to touch her… fuck, that was entirely unprofessional. He couldn’t do it. Maybe if she knew he was the one watching her, then he wouldn’t feel so morally conflicted, but there was no way he could tell this woman to her face oh yeah, that was me messaging you, I watch you finger yourself to get off. Fuck.

Well. It was highly unlikely she’d be following up, anyway. He comforted himself with that. Probably a dozen guys were messaging her now, trying to get her business so they could tattoo her body.

Ugh. She’d called him babe. He groaned and felt his cock twitch in pleasure just at that reality. She’d called him babe, this faceless woman with the beautiful voice and body. Fuck.

**

As far as he could tell, no one unusual had reached out to the tattoo parlor, though it was hard to really guess what that would mean. He’d idly flipped through the appointment calendar but of course it wasn’t like she’d make an appointment under Ashtoreth. No one had requested him out of the ordinary. And she’d done a couple more lives in the past couple weeks, so he figured that meant she’d decided to go with someone else. Which hurt a bit, sure, but he was trying to be an adult about it. After all, it was for the best.

And then during lunch, Mina popped her head back and asked, “Hey, there’s a woman who came by to see if you can do a consult…”

“Is she in the schedule?” Jungkook asked.

Mina made a face but admitted, “No… but that’s my fault. I’ve been trying to get something scheduled for her for a couple weeks now and forgot to write it down-- I’m sorry!”

Jungkook rolled his eyes and teased, “Mina, it’s the whole point of your job to write it down…”

“I know. I feel so bad. I’ll buy your lunch tomorrow. Can you meet with her now?”

“Fine.”

He shoved one final bite of food into his mouth, then went to wash his hands and rinse his mouth out so he wouldn’t risk sauce or broccoli in his teeth for a consult. He was still hungry but maybe if this went quickly he’d have time to scarf down the rest of it.

He stepped out to the front area where a woman sat in one of the chairs, looking a little uncomfortable actually. He thought it must be her first tattoo and that she was nervous; he got a lot of young women in for their first tattoo, a little butterfly or hummingbird on their ankle or wrist. She stood when he approached and gave him a rather dubious smile.

“Are you Jeon Jungkook?” she asked. In Korean, which was unusual but not unheard of for a foreigner. A young woman had probably come here to teach or something and learned the language, but she had a good grasp of it.

“Yes. Hello.”

“I’m Y/N,” she answered, shaking his hand.

“Nice to meet you. Sorry about the mix up--”

“It’s my fault!” Mina sighed dramatically.

“I’m sorry I’m interrupting your lunch. Should I come back another day?”

“No, it’s fine. What are you looking for?”

“Well, I um, I need one covered up and I was hoping to get something custom to cover it. I saw your portfolio and it looks like you’ve done that kind of thing before.”

He nodded, “Yeah, it’s not a problem. Do you have ideas?”

“Yeah… but I’m also kind of open… I’m not an artist, so…”

“Can you show me what you’re wanting covered up?”

“Uh, yeah…”

“We can step back here,” Jungkook offered when she seemed a little shy. She followed him back to one of the pods and leaned her hip against the table as if for strength, then lifted her shirt to show him a man’s name scrawled across her ribs.

“Is it ok if I examine it?” he asked her. She nodded and he sat on a stool to lean in close and look. It was not well done; if it was the man’s copied signature, he had an ugly hand, but the tattoos itself was also uneven, too shallow in some places, too deep in others. However the scratchy and loopiness of it would be pretty easy to design a pattern over.

“I can see by your face it’s ugly. I know. It was… complicated,” she admitted. “I keep it covered with make up usually but I want it gone.”

“That’s easy to cover,” he assured her. “What do you want over it?”

“Well, I thought-- I have this tattoo,” she told him, lifting the other side of her shirt to expose the flower design crawling out of the waistband of her pants over her hip.

Jungkook froze. She was talking but he didn’t hear anything she said because he knew that tattoo. This was Ashtoreth. He looked up at her face, frozen with shock. This was Ashtoreth’s face. How had he not recognized her voice? But she was speaking Korean and he’d only heard her speak it that once and he hadn’t expected this

“Will that work?” she asked.

“Sorry… could you repeat?” Fuck.

“If it can match this?” she asked him. “Except adding in some violets.”

“Oh. Yes. That’s not a problem,” he assured her. “Um, how big are you thinking?”

She motioned with her hands, then asked, “Am I going to die? I know rib tattoos are supposed to be pretty bad… But I’ve had a baby and I got this thing so I’m not a total baby…”

“You have a kid?” he repeated, then immediately cursed himself. Why did that matter? But it was a real thing about her and it was not what he’d expected.

“Um, yeah. Do you have kids?”

“No,” he said simply. And then because apparently he couldn’t stop himself, he pointed, “I guess he wasn’t a very good father, huh?”

She gave him a small laugh and a crooked grin that made his heart actually flutter and agreed, “No, he wasn’t. But I did get something good out of it, so that’s what I want to cover his name with.”

“Flowers?”

“Violets. My daughter with him is called Violet.”

“Ah. That’s… sweet.” He looked away from her, sliding over to the counter to get his camera. “Can I take a picture? I’ll draw a design and you can leave your email with Mina. Once we get that, we’ll make an appointment.”

“Ok. Yes.” She turned to the side and held her shirt steady for him to take a picture of the names, a couple so he’d be able to recreate it flat.

“Mind if I get one of that too, so I can remember it?”

“Do you want the whole thing?”

“No, just the top is fine, if this has all the style elements you want.” So turned and posed for him to get this second one, and he tried to ignore that he was sweating a little to now have personal photos of Ashtoreth. This wasn’t ok. It wasn’t ok. It was unethical. It was ok for him to tattoo her if she knew he knew, but otherwise it was unethical, right?

But he didn’t tell her. Because he was stupid and struck a little dumb by her. He couldn’t comprehend that he was seeing her in person right now, that he was seeing the tattoo up close that had factored into how many of his solo sessions now? And this other tattoo, that never showed in her videos! He knew something now none of her other viewers did.

She thanked him for his time and he promised to get her a sketch within a week and then she left. The whole exchange had been so… normal, compared to how he might have envisioned it.

She hadn’t been anything like he’d expected, but maybe that wasn’t fair. He tuned into her next live after debating it, but he couldn’t bring himself to miss it. He wanted to see if he could see traces of her bad tattoo, but she did a good job of hiding it.

Anyway, why should he be surprised that she had been polite and sweet and a little shy? Because he didn’t expert a camgirl to be those things in real life? But that came through in her cams and it was one of the things that had even initially drawn him to her channel.

It was different now though. She slid her fingers down her panties and he knew what her face looked like. She pressed her fingers into her wet hole and he knew she’d had a child. He knew her real hair color and her real eye color and the sound of her voice in person. Soon he would spend hours hunched over her body, etching something permanent into her skin that would hopefully please her, that all her viewers would see on her. How would she unveil it? Would she give him credit? She’d already been very excited about the design he’d emailed her.

[cruelfeline]

The Hordak Bleatings Masterpost

The new and improved Masterpost! All of my ridiculous bleating in one place! Now with categories to allow you, dear friends and neighbors, to better marvel at the utter nonsense I get up to in my spare time. It shall be updated every so often/when I remember. 

some of these categories may overlap or perhaps not be perfect; I tried; there was... a lot

Enjoy!

Biological/Medical Musings

A Fairly Comprehensive List of Hordak’s Clinical Signs

I Wrote Too Much About Hordak’s Arms

And Then Someone Asked About His Elbows So Voila

Someone Else Asked About His Eyes

Yes; I Did Measure Hordak’s Ears via Fuzzy Math; You’re Welcome

A Brief Word About Dentition

Some Sad Thoughts About Clone Lifespan

I Like to Headcanon that Clones Have Naturally Different Eye Colors

Counting Hordak’s Ports

Thinking About Terrible Ways Prime Could Institute Biological Control

Doing Very Fuzzy Math And Wondering Just How Young Hordak Could Be

Spending Way Too Much Time Figuring Out Whether Hordak is Left or Right Handed

Why Tiny Food is Probably Ideal for Hordak (a joke ask I essentially took Seriously)

Discussing Hordak’s Temper

Considering Whether Hordak Needs Oxygen

Discussing Whether Prime and his Clones are Genetically Identical

Hordak in Relation to Other Characters

Entrapdak

Hordak Can Get Close to Entrapta Because He Needn’t Fear Her

Discussing Entrapdak Age Discourse

Bit More Regarding Hordak’s Maturity vs. Entrapta’s

Hordak Didn’t Manipulate Entrapta… But Catra Did

Assessing that Unfortunate Moment When Hordak Snapped at Entrapta

Further Assessing Hordak Snapping at Entrapta by Noting When He Doesn’t

On Hordak’s Wardrobe Change

Entrapta Shushing Hordak is One of My Favorite Interactions

The Entrapdak Scene Was Also One of Self-Love

I Really Like How Entrapta Talks to Hordak About Failure

Hordak Tells an Actual Lie and Succeeds

Entrapta’s and Hordak’s Social Differences Help Them Connect to One Another

I Would Have Appreciated A Scene Where Entrapta Learns About What Happened To Hordak

Hordak Takes Strength From Realizing That Entrapta Came For Him

Hordak and Entrapta Just Like One Another, and I Enjoy That

There is a Huge Difference in How The Alliance and Hordak React to Entrapta Being on Beast Island, and it’s Jarring

This is Mostly About Catradora But Kind of in the Sense of Why Entrapdak is Better, so Here it Goes

Entrapta Didn’t Teach Hordak How to Love; She Taught Him How to Be Loved

The Soup Scene is a Condensed View of Why Entrapdak Works in Light of the Rest of Hordak’s Arc

Hordak and Entrapta Search for One Another Alone, and it Makes Me Sad

I Love How Hordak Scooches Over for Entrapta to Join Him on his Throne

Catra

The How-Catra-Manipulated-Hordak Masterpost

Watching Catra and Hordak Switch Roles in Season Three is Fascinating

Hordak and Catra’s Low Points Indicate Their Core Problems

Did Hordak Abuse Catra? Did She Abuse Him? The World May Never Know

Comparing Hordak and Catra in Terms of Consequences and Agency

Hordak and Catra’s Apparent Ages Likely Affect How People Judge Them

Why Doesn’t Hordak Subdue Catra?

Losing and Regaining the Will to Fight is Another Hordak/Catra Parallel

Sometimes I Wish The Show Would Focus Less on Catra and More on Hordak

Why Catra Besting Hordak Isn’t As Satisfying As Catra Besting Shadow Weaver

Hordak Exhibits Some Level of Trust in Catra Even in Season 2... and She Betrays It

The Difference in How Hordak and Catra Handle Relationships followed by Why They Are Like This 

Some Brief Words on the Differences Between How Hordak and Catra End Up Driven to Destruction in Season Four

Musing About What I Actually Would Accept as “Hordak Abusing Catra”

I Think It’s Kind of Funny that Some Expect Catra to be Suspicious of Hordak Post-Canon

Two Scenes That Look Distressing Side-by-Side

Discussing How Catra and Hordak Start Off as Parallels but Later Deviate Due to Character Differences

Adora

How Adora and Hordak End Season Four Differently

Hordak and Adora Parallels

I Wonder if Adora Recognizes Some of Herself in Hordak

Other

This is Actually About Shadow Weaver, but Compared to Hordak, So…

Hordak Doesn’t Seem to have a “Rule the World!” Moment (compared to Shadow Weaver)

On Hordak’s Weird Interactions with DT

Watching DT Circle Hordak is Interesting

Let’s Compare the Circling Scenes, Shall We?

What Wrong Hordak’s Arc Teaches Us About Clones and Hordak

Wondering if Hordak Actually has Control Over the Etherian Horde (could he have stopped the war?)

Prime

There Is A Huge Difference In The Standards Prime And Hordak Hold Others Two Versus Themselves

Hordak and Horde Prime Handle Their Own Vulnerabilities Quite Differently

The Difference Between How Prime and Hordak Use Anger

The Moment Prime Touched Hordak’s Face is the Moment I Truly Knew That Something About Hordak’s Backstory was Very Wrong

Clone/Origin/Prime-Related Sadness

The Clone Thing

More Distressed Bleating about The Clone Thing

Hordak’s DMV Photo Disturbs Me

Hordak Isn’t Actually an Idiot About Disease Transmission

On Hordak’s Bodily Autonomy, or Lack Thereof

How Much of Hordak is “Hordak?”

I’m 99% Certain That Hordak Sucks at Lying Because he Literally Couldn’t

You’d Think Hordak would Think Things Through, But…

Hordak isn’t Really Proud of “Hordak” (with a bonus Adora mention)

Hordak Provides Excellent Fridge Horror

Hordak’s Behavioral Pathology Isn’t Actually Pathology

So! That Purification Ritual was Really Something

Despite Erasure, Hordak Remains Himself

The Clones Are Essentially Trapped By Prime And It Upsets Me

I Get Annoyed That The Clones Aren’t Discussed More By Our Heroes

Again, I Wish The Show Acknowledged The Clones A Bit More, Wrongie Edition

Wouldn’t It Be Swell If Prime Really Did Manage The Clones Like Livestock? 

It’s More Emotionally Poignant That The Clones Are Individuals Rather Than Drones

Prime’s Doctrine Ensures Hordak Blames Himself, and it’s an Awful Control Measure

Hordak Probably Isn’t Dumb for Using Uninsulated Cables; Rather, Clone Sadness is in Play

Why I Can’t See Hordak and the Other Clones As Colonizers (unlike Prime) (also a whole convo thread)

Thinking About Clones and Self-Care

Each Clone Will Have to Realize That They Were Victimized

Wondering if Horde Clones Might Feel Anxious Sleeping Alone

Why Prime Might Encourage Some Autonomy in His Clones (spoilers: for cruelty)

Completely Arbitrary Classification of Clones Post-Prime!

Prime is an Actual God to the Clones and it is Terrifying

Canon Plausibility of Blanket Burritoing Horde Clones!

I Appreciate That, Despite Their Devotion, the Clones are Portrayed as Legitimately Suffering due to Prime

Catra and Adora have Happy Memories; do the Clones?; does Hordak?

Morality/Punishment/Redemption Related

Morality is (sadly) not a Universal Thing

Don’t Talk to me About the Reset as “Proper Punishment”

Why Hordak Doesn’t Just Become a Good Citizen

I Think About Hordak’s Choices a Lot

Hordak as an Abuse Mimic Rather Than Pure Evil

Looking at the Horde Child Soldier Thing From a Certain POV

Emotional Support is a Necessary Part of Healing

Hordak Was Forgiven Without Redemption, And I’m OK With That

Hordak’s Arc Speaks Directly to People who were “Raised Wrong”

I Wonder if Hordak Would See anti-Princess Propaganda as Propaganda

Semi-Intelligent Plot/Story Observations

Hordak’s Portrayal is a Function of Character Lens

Hordak Gets Very Legit Development in Season Four

She-Ra Isn’t a War Drama and Here’s Why

Hordak Suffers From a Distressing Lack of Agency

Hordak is a Weirdly Unenthusiastic Lord

The Season 4 Finale Reframes Hordak’s Vulnerability 

Untangling Hordak’s Backstory in Light of What We Now Know

Why Hordak Getting Possessed is Narratively Good

Hordak’s Rebellion and Subsequent Possession Essentially Summarize His Story

There Are Big Differences Between Hordak and Prime’s Etherian Wars

It Is Pretty Unlikely That Hordak Would Have Pulled The Portal Lever

It Occurred To Me That Hordak May Initially Ignore FO’s Tech Because It’s Just Really Old

An Assessment Of The Villain Intro Cards, Focusing On Hordak

I Think It’s Silly To Blame Hordak For Everything - Especially When Considering Prime

Literally Just a Thread Explaining Why Hordak is Sympathetic

Some Words On Exactly How Terrible DT’s Reveal Was For Hordak

The Escalation of Hordak’s Situation is Really Something

An Anon Asks a Normal Question and I go on a Tangent About Hordak Compensating for his Inability to Innovate via Entrapta and Catra

There are Monumental Differences Between the Galactic and Etherian Hordes in Terms of Brainwashing and Agency

Thinking About Why Chipped Etherians May Not be That Sympathetic To Clones After All

Random Bit of Logicking About Why Hordak Calls the Princesses a Rebellion

Figuring Out Why I Find Hordak So Much More Sympathetic Than The Princesses

Brief Musing on How Hordak Might Face Antagonism From Both Sides Post-Canon

Hordak’s Story Touches on the Concept of the Imperfection of Authority

Someone Asked Me if I Found Hordak’s S5 Arc Satisfying

Discussing Whether Or Not Hordak Planned on Leading Anything After Conquering Etheria

Taking Apart an Abysmal Twitter Take Because It’s Fun

Talking About Prime’s Clone Troops v. Robot Troops

Talking About Hordak’s Emotional Age

Hordak’s S3 Backtory Being Part-Delusion Helps Emphasize the Inequality in Attachment Between the Clones and Prime

A Few Not-So-Nice Acts Hordak Commits That I Find Justifiable

Random Headcanons of All Sorts

Stupidly Cute, Pointless Headcanon #3825 (ears covered)

Stupid Pointlessly Cute Headcanon #4853 (yawning, with appropriate artwork)

Stupid Pointlessly Cute Headcanon #2938 (snoring)

Stupid Pointlessly Cute Headcanon #1423 (REM sleep)

Stupidly Cute, Pointless Headcanon #7845 (blushing)

Random Hordak-Related Thought #2935 (forearms)

I Like to Think That Hordak Does Cute Things in his Sleep

I Like to Think That Hordak’s Eyes Dim While He Sleeps

Literally Me Just Having Emotions

Thinking About the Stress of Maintaining His Image in the Horde

Why Hordak’s Trauma is Particularly Disturbing To Me (compared to Catra/Adora)

Catra Overcomes her Fear of her Abuser; Hordak Does Not

All of my Emotions over the S4 Finale

Hordak’s Goddamned Smirk Lied to Me

I Have Feelings about Hordak’s Enforced Self-Care

I Need Hordak to Know that He is Loved

Hordak Goes Pew Pew and It’s Cute

Watching Hordak Lift Things Makes Me Smile

Hordak’s Unreasonable Expectations Make Me Sad

Please Just Let Hordak Rest

A Sassy Post About People Complaining the Hordak and Catra are Forgiven

All My Words About That Hordak/Adora Scene

Hordak Taps the Asphyxiation Lever With Two Fingers And It Makes Me Happy

I Wonder If Individuality Felt Blasphemous To Hordak

Please Don’t Stab Clones In Their Ports, Thank You

Hordak Clasps His Hands And It Makes Me Anxious

Hordak Shaming Catra Mimics the Purification Room And It’s Disturbing

Watching Hordak Give Up Is Heartbreaking

I Worry About Hordak Handling Anxiety

People Being Considerate of Hordak Makes My Heart Smile

I Wonder If Magic Was Frightening to Hordak at First

Thinking About Hordak Progressing in Terms of Self-Care

Prime Never Calls Hordak by Name, not Even Once

Just Being Sad While Realizing the Sort of Life Hordak had to Look Forward To

Strange Fic-Like Things No One Should Read

Please Consider: A Concept Masterpost

Hordak Practices Eyerolling

Imp Hacks Up The Worst Color of Hairball

[jeannereames]

Hi i have a follow up question to your latest ask. I tried looking through your asks if you had answered something similar but only found a post about your book which is also good but not exactly what i was looking for haha. Anyway, so I was wondering what sources we have showing or referencing the historical alexanders relationship to achilles? And maybe his mothers too. Is it just in later authors works? Is it based on lost sources from alexanders time? Are there coins or anything? Thanks (:

TL;DR version: we don’t have anything from Alexander’s own day that firmly connects him to Achilles. His coins all show Herakles, and then later himself “Heraklized.”

IF the armor in Tomb II at Vergina is his (e.g., it’s his half-brother Arrhidaios in there, not Philip II), then we may have an artistic reference on the magnificent shield recovered and reconstructed via archaeological magic. The shield’s central boss shows Achilles killing Penthesileia. Is that the “Shield of Achilles” Alexander supposedly picked up at Troy, and then carried in battle like a standard? Maybe. But, either way, it’s a reference to Achilles.

Otherwise, Achilles just doesn’t show up in Macedonian artwork. As he was supposedly from Epiros next door west, that may not be a big surprise, whereas Herakles (who’s all over the place) was believed to be the ancestor of the Argead clan. Alexander’s claim to Achilles came through Mommy, Olympias.

So virtually ALL our references to Alex and Achilles are from literary sources. And those are also ALL later. Which brings us to our source problem….

—————————————

The sources for Alexander are a regular Gordion Knot. We’re gonna get into the weeds here. Stay with me. And you may want to bookmark this for yourself if you need a handy (if saucy) later reference on the Alexander sources.

I’m not sure how much the asker already knows, but let me lay out some basics for everyone, including common terminology. You can probably suss out a lot from context, but just to be clear:

“Primary” evidence means documents and materials from the time period under consideration, and “secondary” evidence means modern authors assembling/editing and writing about those sources. When we look at the ancient world, primary evidence refers to documents (writings, including inscriptions), artwork (vases, sculptures, mosaics, etc.), and material evidence (e.g., “stuff” unearthed by archaeologists).

Obviously, only a fraction of what once existed has survived. Sometimes we know of writings that are no longer “extant.” Extant means a document we still have, or at least have most of. We hear about a lot more via “testamonia” and “fragmenta.” Testamonia are mention of a document (or author) found in another document. And fragmenta are pieces of a lost work (typically) embedded as quotes in somebody else’s work. Unfortunately, ancient authors don’t always admit where they get their information. “Citing” wasn’t a thing, back then.

Now, that out of the way, let’s take a look at Alexander sources in particular.

We have 5 extant histories/biographies for Alexander, more than virtually any other ancient figure. That’s great!

Problem. Not a single one was written by anyone who knew him, saw him, or even lived when he did. Two of them aren’t even in Greek; they’re in Latin. I’ve listed them below from earliest to latest, with approximate dates, and a bit of info about the author. (While I prefer Greek transliterations, I’m using the most common spelling of the names for familiarity.)

Diodorus Siculus, Bibliotheca Historica, specifically books 16 (Philip), 17 (Alexander), 18-20 (Successors). As “world histories,” they do talk about events in other places, including Syracuse, Athens, Sparta, and Rome. As his name suggests, Diodorus was from Sicily, and died c. 30 BCE, just as the Roman Republic was morphing into Empire. We have only books 1-5 and 11-20 of a total of 40. Books 18-20 are incomplete (fragments).

THIS IS OUR EARLIEST EXTANT SOURCE: a guy who lived in the first century BCE and was born almost 300 years after Philip of Macedon.

Let that sink in a moment.

Curtius Rufus, Historiae Alexandri Magni, is the better known of our two Latin histories. The author is a mystery, which complicates dating it. He lived under the empire, while the Parthians existed. A consul suffectus in late 43 CE (Claudius) has been proposed as him, but speculation abounds he might have used a nom de plume—not unlike a fanfiction author. 😊 The best study of Curtius’s work is by Elizabeth Baynam. He probably belongs to the first century, just a little earlier than Plutarch, and his work bears all the hallmarks of the Latin Silver Age.

Plutarch of Chaironeia wrote a lot, including his collection, Lives of Famous Greeks and Romans, which includes Alexander (as well as some Successors) + a massive number of essays collected under the general title Moralia. These include The Fortune of Alexander the Great, and Sayings of Kings and Commanders. Plutarch was a Dionysian priest from central Greece (Boeotia) who lived in the late first century CE, and died c. 120…that’s when HADRIAN was emperor. He belongs to a group of writers typically called the Second Sophistic.

Arrian of Nicomedia, The Anabasis and Indica, written in two different dialects of Greek (Attic and Ionic); he also wrote some philosophic stuff. We know a decent amount about him. He was an Asian Greek from modern Bithynia (the home province of Hadrian’s boyfriend Antinoos), a military man, a senator, a friend of Hadrian, a consul suffectus, and later, an archon of Athens, but most famously, governor (legate) of Cappadocia under Hadrian. He died in Athens c. 160 CE. He liked to call himself the New Xenophon and naming his work on Alexander the Anabasis (after Xenophon’s famous history) is pointed. Although Greek, he was strongly Romanized.

Justin, wrote an epitome of Pompeius Trogus’s expansive Liber Historiarum Philippicarum, which was a history of the Macedonian kingdom, written when Augustus was Empror. An “epitome” is a digest, or shortened version. Trogus’s work was 44 books. Justin’s is much, much smaller, but it’s not a true digest in that he collected what he considered the more interesting titbits rather than trying to summarize the whole thing. We do not know when he lived, precisely, and dates have been thrown out from shortly after Pompeius Trogus all the way to 390 CE! His Latin matches the second century or perhaps early third. This one doesn’t have a Loeb edition, so get the translation by John Yardley with Waldemar Heckel’s commentary on Justin.

In addition, information and stories about Alexander can be found scattered in other ancient sources, notably:

Athenaeus of Naucratus (Greece), Supper Party (Deipnosophistae), which is a weird collection of stories about famous people and food, told at a fictional dinner banguet. It’s long, and fairly entertaining reading, if you’re interested in Greek (and Roman) dining customs. Athenaeus lived in the late 2nd/early 3rd century CE, so he’s even later than most of our historians. Athenaeus used a lot of now-missing sources.

Polyaenus, Strategems. Military handbook from another late author—2nd century CE—but he’s of special interest as he’s Macedonian, our sole extant ancient source from a Macedonian, but keep in mind 500+ years passed between Alexander’s day and his. The Strategems is broken down by leader, which include Archelaus, Philip, and Alexander, plus some of the Successors, too. Until recently, there wasn’t a really good translation (the last was done in the 1800s), but it was finally updated by Krentz and Wheeler for Ares Press.

In addition, he’s mentioned in passing by sources from Strabo to Pliny the Elder to Aelian.

This gives you a good idea of what we do have, and the nature of our problem. It may also help explain what I (or other historians) mean when we talk about the danger of “Romanizing,” even with Greek authors. By the time any of them were writing, even Diodorus, Rome dominated the Mediterranean, and most of them really knew only the imperial period.

Besides the obvious problem of the distance in time, some also had axes to grind. Plutarch is probably the most obvious, as he admits he’s not writing history, but this new thing (he invented) called “Lives” (e.g., biography). More to the point, he’s writing moral tales. Ergo, his bio of Alex is really a long discourse in the old saw, “Absolute power corrupts absolutely.” Likewise, Curtius had a lesson about the evils of Roman imperial debauchery, especially as influenced by Eastern Ways pulling good men away from Roman discipline and clemency.

So what about our now-missing historians who were used by the guys above, and lived closer to ATG’s time? Some of the more important include:

The Ephemerides, or Royal Journal: a daily account of the king’s activities similar to other Ancient Near Eastern traditions, kept by Eumenes, Alexander’s personal secretary. You’ll see them referred to chiefly when talking about Alexander’s last days, as they (supposedly) give an account of his deterioration and death. But they may (and probably were) “doctored” later. Ed Anson has an article about them: important reading.

Callisthenes, Aristotle’s nephew, the official Royal Historian…at least until he got himself in trouble with the Page’s Conspiracy and ATG had him executed (or caged, accounts differ). His history was noted even in antiquity for being flowery and effusive, despite his personal claims to be a philosopher and pretense of austerity. If Alexander wanted a Homer, it wasn’t Callisthenes. Among his failings, he attempted to write about ATG’s battles…badly (so Polybius). Still, this was the official record up till Baktria, used by all the historians still extant. Don’t confuse it with Pseudo-Callisthenes which is the chief source of the Alexander Romance.

Marsyas: Macedonian literati who went to school with the prince, and not only wrote about his childhood (his Education of Alexander was modeled on Xenophon’s Education of Cyrus) and career, but also wrote a work about Macedonian customs that I’d simply LOVE to have. If I could ask for one work from antiquity to be discovered tomorrow, that would be it.

Ptolemy I, of Egypt: Alexander’s general, the guy who stole his body and stole Egypt too in the Successor wars that followed. He was one of Arrian’s main sources when writing his histories. Despite Arrian’s declaration that Ptolemy could be trusted because it would be bad for a king to lie, we can’t trust him. Among other things, he set out to smear the name of his Successor-era rival Perdikkas, and also, apparently, made himself sound more important than he really was. 😉

Nearchus of Crete/Amphipolis, Alexander’s chief admiral and a player in the later Successor wars, wrote an account of his naval trip from India, et al., used chiefly by Arrian.

Aristobulus of Cassandreia: Arrian’s other chief source, he was an engineer, architect, and friend of the king; his main problem seems to have been a tendency to whitewash or explain away critiques of Alexander. It’s Aristobulus who claims ATG didn’t drink heavily, just sat long over his wine for the conversation (uh…I’m sure Kleitos agrees with that). It’s also from him that we get the alternative story that Alexander didn’t cut the Gordion Knot, just pulled the pin out of the yoke and untied it from inside (he didn’t cheat!). Hmmm.

Chares of Mytilene, Alexander’s chamberlain, wrote a 10-book history of Alexander that focused largely on his personal affairs. Boy, wouldn’t that be a fun read? Arrian uses him sometimes, as does Plutarch, et al. Chares is one of the chief sources on the Proskenysis Affair.

Cleitarchus, History of Alexander. Probably the best-known ancient “pop history” of Alexander, but given the ancient equivalent of 2-stars even by historians of his time. His father was a historian too, but apparently, he got more ambition than ability, and was accused of flat making up shit. He lived at Ptolemy’s court later, we think, and a recent fragment tells us he was a tutor. His date is in dispute as late 4th or middle 3rd, and he probably never actually met Alexander. Kleitarchos’s account was used heavily by Plutarch, Curtius, Diodorus, and Pompeius Trogus (Justin’s source). Even Arrian uses him occasionally.

Onesicritus, a Cynic philosopher who studied under Diogenes and later traveled with Alexander. Despite that, his reputation for honesty was even worse than Kleitarchos; Lysimakhos famously called him out publicly, and Strabo considered him a joke. It’s from Onesicritus we hear about Alexander’s sexual servicing of the Amazon Queen to give her a daughter (that’s what Lysimakhos made fun of him for: “Where was I when that happened?”).

These are the main ancient sources you’ll see mentioned, although parts of Alexander’s life are covered in smaller essays, e.g., On the Death (and Funeral) of Alexander and Hephaistion by Euphippus, which is unashamedly hostile to both men. All our fragments from Euphippos come from Athenaeus’s Supper Party, mentioned above.

We also have the Alexander Romance, but that’s a whole ‘nother kettle of fish and not my bailiwick. I refer folks to the work by Richard Stoneman.

There you go! Your handy-dandy potted summary of the ancient authors. To learn more about them, please see Lionel Pearson’s The Lost Historians of Alexander the Great, Scholar’s Press, 1983. There have been articles and material about them in other commentaries and sources, but Pearson remains useful, if somewhat dated, simply for collecting it all in one place, including mention of some minor sources I didn’t cover here.

Finally, I’m including a flowchart I’ve made for my ATG class that lists all the known sources (including several not discussed above); it is copyrighted to me, but may be used for educational purposes. Yes, yes, it really is as crazy as this chart makes it look. And keep in mind, some dependencies are speculative rather than internally confirmed. E.g., as I mentioned earlier, not all ancient sources say what/who they consulted because, againg, citing wasn’t a thing, back then.

[christinaroseandrews]

Certified "Sex Doctor," Kira Murphy has always been a free spirit. She's passionate about preventing STIs, making sure kids get all of their vaccines, and celibri-stalking her favorite politician - Barclay Lucas. Sure, he might be a Tory (for U.S. Peeps that's the equivalent of the Republican Party), but despite his party trying to dismantle social protections he's one of the good ones. He's out to save the world and look good in a Savile Row suit. But celebrity crushes aside, Kira's out to make sure her patients receive the best care possible. So when a depressed, young man with HIV enters her examination room she's going to do what she can however she can to make sure he's given the help he so clearly needs.

Barclay Lucas has always been the responsible one. The reliable one. Mr. Fix-it. But when his brother, Henry, is diagnosed with HIV and falls into a depressive spiral, Barclay doesn't know what to do. However he doesn't need to, the eccentric and quirky doctor at the NHS hospital has managed to get through to him. But she's not his actual doctor. So Barclay needs to change that.

And with that, staid and conservative Barclay meets weird and wonderful Kira and their lives will never be the same.

I'm torn about this book. I've loved Susie Tate's writing in the past and Kira's been a long time favorite of mine since I first read about her in Beg, Borrow, and Steal. So I was super excited to read this book. I like politics stuff.(Anyone who knows me in Real life can tell you that). Plus, Anything but Easy has two of my favorite tropes -- Fake Dating and Enemies-to-Lovers -- it's like this book was tailor made for me. 

So why am I so torn?

Let’s start with the some of the good.

Kira is still her quirky fun self. She's unpredictable and has a very idiosyncratic way of speaking. I loved seeing her interact with her patients. She's like the definition of Manic Pixie Dreamgirl. She's tiny. Quirky. Out to save the world. And she possesses very little in the way of common sense or self preservation. But, just like the character herself says (which nice lampshade hang) she's a bit of an acquired taste. She reminds me in a lot of ways of Fandom!Darcy. You know the one who is able to draw Bruce out of his shell, keep up a prank war with Clint and/or Loki, and ride herd on all of the scientists while winning the heart of whatever avenger the author wants to pair her with. You know, that Darcy.  I like that Darcy.

But like Fandom!Darcy, Kira does some things that people in real life would find questionable or in really bad taste.

So I liked Kira. She’s a nicknamer. An idiosyncratic talker. She’s a bit like me, but with less fashion sense. 

So on to something I didn’t like.

The hero.

I don’t know if it’s me, but Barclay didn't grab me the way I wanted to. And I admit a lot of it is because of the current political climate. The Tory party is the one behind Brexit. The party of Boris Johnson, Theresa May, and Margaret Thatcher. I had a hard time rooting for him because for all that he was a nice guy, he's still on the political side of a party that has caused a great deal of harm to marginalized people. It’s like I said in a recent post, you may claim not to be a racist but if you support a racist institution and work to keep it in power then you are, in fact, a racist. That’s true here. The Tories are doing that in Britain just like the Republicans are doing that in the United States.

Barclay may care deeply about his brother. But he still felt his brother’s HIV diagnosis would hurt his political career.  This is something that actually happened in the book!!! 

He may like Kira’s quirkiness, but dear Gods is he embarrassed by it. He’s selfish. He does things that make it difficult for Kira to do her job effectively and doesn’t apologize for it. Because he doesn’t care about the people Kira is helping only himself.

So I didn't really like him.

Unfortunately, my dislike of the hero played into my "meh" feeling regarding the romance. It didn't land for me. The chemistry felt forced. It’s also the main reason I didn’t like The Duke, the Lady, and a Baby by Vanessa Riley.

I'm also leery of obsessed-fan hooks up with the object of their obsession and finds true love. As someone who has had to be the person to stand between the fan and the person they're obsessed with, I can tell you this isn't how it works. I’ve read a few other stories with this trope and it really bugs me. Probably because of the objectification but also because of my own experiences with being stalked.

Back to the good.

The writing is on point. Funny. Witty. Great banter. Seriously I really love Susie Tate's writing. The scenes with Henry and Kira's friends are some of the best. The creative nicknames and insults are faboo. I will need to add some of them to my repertoire.

Since Tate is a doctor herself in Britain the medical stuff is on point. I loved the scenes where Kira got to show just how awesome a doctor she was. Give me competence porn, I am so here for that.

The story toes the line on sexy. It's steamy and acknowledges that sex takes place but most of the scenes are closed door or hinted at. So people looking for super clean, this likely isn't for you. Nor is this for someone who wants spank bank material in their romance. I wasn’t in the mood for sex at the moment, so this worked. But I don’t like the moralizing that’s often in so-called “clean romances”... sometimes you don’t have to have explicit sex to have a good romance.

Back to the not so good. I wasn't the biggest fan of the ending. It was okay. Not bad, per se. Just not my cup of tea. I like to see more agency in my leads, and while Barclay had agency in his storyline, Kira did not.

Ask my editing clients and one of the things I tend to ding them on is characters, especially their female leads, having agency in their own stories. That they’re the ones driving the story arc and not the other characters -- particularly the male characters.

So while Kira’s story was resolved, she didn’t have a lot of agency in it. Which fed into Barclay tramping up and down all over her agency.

This book needs a whole heap of content warnings including: depression, suicidal ideation, frank discussion of STIs, frank discussion of HIV/AIDS, Medical truama, medical neglect (not by the heroses), sexual harassment, workplace sexual harassment, parental neglect/abandonment, mentions of past child neglect/abandonment, mentions of stillbirth/miscarriage, ableistic language in regards to mental illness, sexual assault, use of the g-slur in reference to clothing/appearance (This was not in reference to the Irish Travellers who do call themselves by the g-slur but in reference to clothing/appearance/lifestyle choices of two white characters.), use of food descriptors for POC skin (cappuchino instead of brown or Black), microaggressions in descriptions of natural hair (wild and unkempt). The last three are things that are easily correctable. But they are things that do exist and I hope the author educates herself as to why they are problems. (I provided links to some resources when I sent in my review so she can’t say that she wasn’t given sources. We’ll see where this goes.) In all, I liked and both disliked this book. I still love Kira. I loved Henry. Libby, Mark, and Millie are great as always. But because of the issues I've listed above I feel like I can only give this: Two Stars.

If this is your jam, you can get it here.

If you like these kind of honest reviews, please consider supporting us here!

I received an ARC of this book via NetGalley

[winchester90210]

The BH 90210 Rewrite. 1x17: Stand (Up) And Deliver.

Rewrite Masterlist

Read the previous chapter here!

Chapter Summary: Tensions run high when Brandon decides to run for class president.

Warnings: It’s like 90% angst this week. Everyone’s a jerk at some point in this. Brandon’s a jerk. You’re a jerk. Kelly’s a jerk. Just be prepared haha. There might be a swear word in there somewhere. If any of you find something that should be tagged in the warnings, let me know! 

Words: 4,100. 

My work is not to be reposted and/or edited without my expressed written consent. (Reblogging is fine and encouraged!!!)

A/N: Just a little disclaimer beforehand: I like Kelly. I know this chapter doesn’t exactly paint her in the best way, but all of the relationships will heal in due time. This one was really fun to write and I hope you all enjoy it! Let me know what you guys think!

-

“Brandon, wait up!” You swerve around the clumps of people in the hall to catch up to him, “I’ve got a proposition.”

“Yeah? Your desk or mine?” He wraps his left arm around you, hand warm against your waist as he pulls you close.

 "Well, actually, Andrea has a proposition for you. I’m just the messenger,“ You slip a paper out of the folder in your hands and pass it to him. His head cocks, looking back at you peculiarly.

 “‘Run for office?’ Y/N/N… no one even knows me here.” 

“That’s what makes this so perfect, no one knows you enough to hate you or anything! Look, this is a good idea because from what Andrea told me, the rest of the candidates are a bunch of popular airheads. And with your Kennedy hair and actual set of morals, you’d be a total shoo-in! At least think about it, okay?” He pecks the top of your head, fiddling with the paper in his hand. 

“Yeah, I’ll think about it.”

-

“Yo, politicos! Last-minute dark horse entry into the class presidential elections!” One minor downfall to Brandon’s entry— David Silver. You forgot he was documenting the entire thing and you didn’t find out about it until he was there sticking a camera in your face and asking you what made Brandon such a ‘suitable candidate.’ You might just lose your mind. “Brandon Walsh, the new kid on the West Beverly block.”

“The sister is always the last to know,” Brenda grumbles, leaning back into the lockers as she watches her brother get relentlessly hounded by a few bulky cameras. 

“He kind of looks like a politician,” Kelly shrugs, “He’s got that Kennedy hair.” Kelly watches as well, though she’s much more interested than the candidate’s sister. Brandon turns down the hall and out of sight, the group of cameras following his every move. She bites her lip amorously. “It’s like a magnet.” 

“What?” 

“Power,” she smirks, a devilish glint in her eye. 

Brenda shoots her a warning glare, “Kelly, don’t.”

-

“What great news!” Mrs. Walsh gushes, “You know, we’ve always felt bad about moving here and screwing up your plans to run back home.” 

“Do you think you can pull it off?” Jim questions, sipping his afternoon coffee. 

“Oh! Definitely,” Donna makes her presence known at the entrance of the kitchen, with Kelly not too far behind and… suddenly you feel the urge to leave. Immediately. “The other guy’s a nobody too. No offense.” 

 “I’ve never been friends with a candidate before!” Kelly smiles, rounding the table to go over to Brandon, while you’re off by the kitchen counter with the other twin. 

“Friends with a candidate’s sister,” Brenda corrects. 

“Uh, right,” She nods,  “I’ve never even voted.” She sets her hand on him, her fingertips gently grazing his shoulder. 

Brandon clears his throat, shrugging her hand off of him and moving over to the counter, “Well, you gotta get involved, Kel. It’s important to try to change things.” 

“Oh, I plan to.” 

“Kelly!” Brenda urges. Once she realizes everyone’s eyes are on her, she readjusts herself. “Uh, didn’t you want to um, borrow one of my jackets? Because I have it upstairs if you want to come get it.” Huh. That was… weird. 

-

It’s the next morning, and you’re sitting there at the kitchen table with the Walshes, making button after button after button. It honestly felt like your hands were gonna fall off at this point. The things you do for that boy. 

“So there I was, listening to Donna being heckled and instantly I knew what to do!” Brenda grins, reminiscing about the previous night at The Fall Out. 

“That’s great, honey,” Jim smiles absentmindedly, “Would you pass me that glue, please?” 

“Bren, that’s incredible! You’ll have to drag me along next time, I so want to see that in action.” You’re the only one to actually acknowledge her as you help Cindy glue down something onto one of one thousand campaign buttons. Ugh, you could feel the blisters forming. 

“Definitely! Performance-oriented coffee houses are really happening, I mean, I really felt like a part of it!” 

“Right… Is this button crooked?” Cindy asks, holding it up to her chest to get a second opinion. 

“It’s fine, mom.” Brenda sighs, scooting her chair out from under her. She stands up with a silent huff and stomps to the foyer to greet whoever came to the door a few minutes prior. You know what you’re doing is for Brandon, but you can’t help but think about how Brenda’s holding up throughout all of this. I mean, her parents barely even acknowledge her existence at this point. 

“Well, I was up all night from that toxic cappuccino, thinking about what you said about getting involved…” Kelly’s purring at Brandon in the foyer while Donna stands idly by. “Brandon, I can help you win. I know everyone.” 

“Or how to glom onto everyone,” Donna mutters. 

“And that’s exactly what you need.” Kelly bargains. 

Brenda stalks over to the group, eyeing the persistent girl suspiciously. 

“Kelly, whenever political stuff comes on you switch to MTV,” She raises her eyebrows in disbelief as she objects. She isn’t gonna let Kelly sink her claws into her brother. Not on her watch.

“Look, help from anyone would be appreciated,” Brandon smiles politely, stepping back into the doorway as Kelly tries to bound closer. 

“Help doing what?” Andrea swoops in from behind Brandon and waltzes in through the open door, arms full of rolled up campaign posters. 

“I’m going to run Brandon’s campaign!” Kelly grins. 

“Kelly, he already has someone running his campaign,” Andrea reminds her.

“Yeah, I think Y/N already has it covered,” Brenda jumps in, nodding eagerly. 

“Well, isn’t there enough room for the both of us?” Kelly asks, hitching an eyebrow up. She folds her arms over her chest and starts at the candidate. 

“I really don’t think it’s a good idea, Kel,” Brandon agrees. 

“Oh, come on! You can never have too much help. It’ll be fun.”

-

“Here, I got some cute politician photos,” Kelly offers. Oh yeah. Kelly being here was a real help. “Try to model yourself after these guys, okay?”

“Well, I can see you’ve been busy,” You comment, peering over her shoulder to look at the pictures she prepared. “Gary Hart never even made it to the nominations, Kelly. Besides, what we need to be focusing on are the actual issues. Not if Brandon looks cute enough.” You go and sit back down at Brandon’s desk. 

“Yeah!” Brandon agrees enthusiastically, “See, I had this idea that we could feed the homeless people with all the surplus food they throw out of the cafeteria.” 

“That’s perfect!” You smile approvingly, tapping your fingers against the wooden desk. “And that’s why you’re going to win— you actually use your brain instead of just your face.” 

“Wait!” Kelly cautions, “We have to hit people with what they want for themselves.” 

“Hey,” you hear Brenda’s voice come from the conjoined bathroom, “Big news— I’ve got my own campaign going— to leave school.” 

“Brenda, that is a great idea!” Kelly exclaims, “Yeah, we’ll tell them they can leave school for lunch!” Oh dear.

Brenda stomps back into her room without hesitation and slams the door behind her. You sigh, lifting yourself from the seat. 

“Be right back, B,” you trail after your best friend into her bedroom, sitting beside her on her bed. “You’re serious about quitting school?”

“Yeah, I am serious, actually.” 

“Hey, y’know, in some cases, getting your equivalency could actually be more beneficial. Just because it’s not right for other people doesn’t mean it can’t be right for you.” Well… you didn’t think it was a great idea, but you weren’t about to tell her that. The last thing she needs right now is for another person to dismiss her. And hey, if anyone can pull it off, it’s probably her. 

“Tell my parents that,” she snickers, eyes rolling.

-

You can’t believe you’re even thinking this… but you are so sick of Brandon’s face. You can’t turn down a hall without seeing his picture, seeing his face staring right at you. “Brandon Walsh for CLASS PRESIDENT.”  It was mocking you at this point. And you know, you know, it was partly your idea. But it was mostly Andrea’s. And the idea was to work on the campaign with him as a team. A small two-person team. Maybe even three with Andrea. But not Kelly. Anyone but Kelly. 

You’re sitting with Brenda at  Fall Out and it feels good— getting out of school, out of your house, out of Casa Walsh. Not to mention the great coffee. 

“Rumor has it that some things you learn with Jack you never wanna unlearn,” Sky, the spunky redheaded barista whispers. 

“Are you two…” Brenda trails off, both hands wrapped around her warm coffee mug. 

“No way,” she giggles, “Even good sex ruins a good friendship.” The guy you had met earlier, Jack, treads over, plopping himself down on the empty seat at the table. “Listen, Jack, I really hate to ask you this, believe me… but it’s family crisis time again, I’ve gotta go up to Modesto.” 

“Forget it,” he scoffs,  “every time I house-sit for you we wind up in a fight. It’s always ‘you didn’t water the plants’ or  ‘you forgot to feed the guppy.’”

“Hey, you know, if you need a house sitter I might have a candidate,” Brenda smirks.

-

You watch, horrified as Brandon’s campaign video plays across the Walshes tv screen. It’s self-indulgent superficial nothingness as clip after clip of Brandon being cute and literally nothing else is displayed. This had to be the most incredible thing you’ve ever seen. No selling points, no talk about anything he’s looking to improve, not even a lousy bribe. Wonderful. Very smart move letting Kelly put this together. And it’s only getting better as it freeze frames, with David’s voice-over pulling through. 

“Bran the man! And he can deliver.”  You had to fight off every urge you had to laugh out loud. I mean… come on. Come. On! Bran the man? Way to go, Kel. 

“Bran the man?” Brandon’s just as confused as you are, mouth agape. You have to take a deep breath to suffocate the laugh that’s trying to claw its way up before you speak. And behind that laughter, there was just a little bit of anger. Juuust a little bit.

“Now, okay. As incredible as that was, Kelly, and I mean incredible— you told us… nothing.” 

“That’s the beauty of it! He doesn’t have to say anything.” 

“That’s not a good thing! He could be trying to reinstate nazis or the KKK into West Beverly and we’d have no idea. Brandon, you can’t possibly think this is a good idea!” You protest, eyes wide. 

“Hey, we all want to win, Y/N/N.” Okay. Make that a lot of anger. He was actually going to let that flaming piece of self-indulgent garbage be his campaign video? 

“Well, if this is your way of winning… I think there’s a part of me that actually wants you to lose. I’m out.“ You shove on your jacket, jumping up from your seat and start to foot it out the door.

“Hey, where are you going?”

You shrug carelessly, “I don’t know. Might grab some pie, might rent a movie, maybe a pizza. We’ll see.” You make it out before he can get another word in, the slamming of the door the only sound in the house now. Hah. Bran the Man. Unbelievable. 

“I can’t believe it,” Brandon mumbles, “she totally just deserted me.” 

“Well…” Kelly begins, “I’m still here, Brandon.” He lets out a gravelly sigh, shaking his head as he paces over to the bookshelves. 

“I don’t know. I think she’s right. The whole thing might be a little vain.” 

“Listen, Brandon,” she stalks over to him, voice lowering, “If you really want something… you have to go after it. Hard. Any means necessary.” 

That’s when it clicks for him. Had Kelly had been coming onto him this entire time? He looks down at his feet, chuckling sheepishly, a hint of bitterness peaking through. 

“I’m an idiot, aren’t I?”

 Kelly shakes her head, approaching closer and letting her arms snake around his neck. 

“I wouldn’t say so.” 

“Kelly,” he grabs her wrists and removes them from around him, setting them back at her sides.

“C’mon, no one has to find out,” she purrs, attempting to return to the previous position. 

This time, he’s not so gentle, practically flinging her arms off of him. “What’s your problem? She’s technically not even your girlfriend!" 

“But she’s not not my girlfriend. Just because we haven’t sat and talked and said ‘we’re dating’ doesn’t mean it changes our relationship. I love her, Kelly. And there’s nothing you or anyone else can do about that." 

“But—“ 

 “Let me rephrase this so you understand,” he continues, only speaking fractionally slower. Taunting her. “I’m not going to do this to Y/N. And I’m not gonna self-sabotage after one argument. I don’t know if I’ve been sending off the wrong signals or something— but I have no interest in you romantically. I agreed to let you help so I could get extra help on the campaign. Not so I could see your clumsy, evil attempt at trying to seduce me out of the relationship with the girl I love.” He clears his throat, “Now… Are we clear?”

Kelly exhales in defeat, eyes lightly lined with tears of embarrassment. “Crystal.” 

-

“This place is so cool!” You cheer as you enter through the front door of Sky’s apartment, cheese pizza in hand. 

“I know, right?!” Brenda beams, “I can’t believe I actually convinced my parents to let me stay here for a few days. Then again, maybe they’ve been so focused on Brandon that it slipped right by them.” 

“No way! Parents worship the ground their children walk on, they just never admit it,” you convince, throwing your jacket on the couch.

“That’s probably true,” Brenda laughs, “how’d you convince your parents?”

“I didn’t, Eric did. I swear that kid could talk his way out of a paper bag,” You set the pizza down on the coffee table, kicking your feet up. “So, our first order of business. What are we watching? Dirty Dancing or Risky Business?”

-

You sigh as you and Brenda watch her brother chat up a random jock. Tom or Todd or Mark or something. 

“Brandon hates that jerk,” She notices. Andrea joins you at your other side, scoffing.

“Yeah, well, jerks are voters too,” she adds. 

“I just can’t believe he let himself get manipulated this way!” Brenda might not be able to, but you sure can. 

“Major integrity loss,” Andrea laments. 

“And here comes Svengali,” you fawn sarcastically as Kelly struts her way over, nose wrinkled in disgust. 

“Brenda, how can you wear that costume?”

“Well, Kelly, you put one arm through one sleeve and one through the other,” Brenda taunts back. You’d think with the number of costumes Kelly wears that she’d be a pro by now. 

“First of all, Hippie Witch is out,” She hisses.

“It’s not hippie witch. It’s twin peaks and it’s very in, but that doesn’t matter.”

“What does matter is that it’ll hurt Brandon,” Kelly barks back. Yeah. Like she’s ever cared about Brandon.

“Just till elections, kay, Bren?” You don’t even notice Brandon until he’s there, directly in front of you. He’s like a pop-up book from hell, “so, are you guys coming to the campaign party at Donna’s?”

“As much as we’d love to, we have to stay and house sit for Sky,” you shrug.

“Sounds thrilling,” Kelly comments. 

“Well, Kelly, one day when you’re finally grown up enough to be on your own, maybe you’ll understand having responsibilities beyond finding the best shoes to match your outfit,” you snap. 

-

“Can’t you at least leave the chair?!” You call after the man that’s been carrying out Sky’s possessions for the last twenty minutes, but your voice is raw and it’s all in vain as he carries out the last of it. “There’s nothing left!” 

“Uh, you’re something,” Oh. Jack. Or was it Mark?

“They took everything,”  You bellow, “I mean, I could’ve tried to fight them to the death for it but I’m not sure that would have done any good. The repo man knows no bounds, apparently.” 

“I know, I saw ‘em cruise by. It’s pretty awful. But hey, at least it’s only things. We’ve got what’s important. You… me, Shakespeare the fish, and some Franco-American spaghetti.” He strides into the apartment and over to the oven, to which you follow. He holds his lighter up to it, but to no avail. You jump as there’s a knock at the door. You bounce over, figuring it’s Brenda. And… well, it is. And then some. 

“What’s going on?” You ask, Jack not far behind you. 

“Y/N/N, I’m sorry, I tried to get them to go somewhere else but they wouldn’t listen,” Brenda apologizes genuinely as the group of people push their way in, “Hey, Jack.”

“So this is the fish you’re feeding while the cat’s away, huh? Classy,” Kelly smirks. Crowd after crowd file their way into the apartment every time you believe they’re about to stop. “Where’s the food?”

“Well, I’m sorry, Kelly, but if I knew you were coming I would’ve stocked the place for you!” You retort, eyes narrowing. 

“I tried calling but the phone was disconnected,” she responds and sashays over to the fridge. 

“I’m here at the Walsh campaign party,” oh god. You’d know that voice anywhere. The joyous David Silver. “It’s sort of a standup event, everyone seems to be having a great time!” David speaks professionally to the camera as he walks through the front door and into the bare living room. You give a quick wave to Scott, who’s holding the camera as David continues to lay it on thick. “And here’s the candidate’s sister! The hostess with the mostest!” Brenda storms right up to David, ripping the microphone from his hand. 

“Get out!” The room goes silent as all heads are turned to her as Jack calmly grabs the mic. 

“Uh, friends. Yeomen. Country club men. Lend me those pierced ears. Listen up, how many of you really know what this candidate stands for?” Brenda slowly approaches Brandon, who was in the middle of chatting up potential voters. 

“Do you even know anymore, Brandon? I mean, you’ve sorta turned into this processed candidate, haven’t you? Leaving any real help, any honest shot of winning behind.” 

“David!” Kelly practically catapults herself across the room, grabbing David by the arm, “Why don’t we turn on the video, okay?” Damage control, you presumed. David moves to plug the tv in, but as soon as it goes into the outlet— darkness. And not the metaphorical deep kind of darkness, but literal darkness. The power goes out. 

-

“No manager is listed! What do I do, ring all the bells?” You lament as you turn around to go back into the apartment, met by Steve at the doorway. 

He mumbles as he breezes past you, “Low-rent city, Y/N/N.”

“You’re welcome, Steve!”

“Hey, where’s the fuse box?” Oh joy, the candidate himself. 

“No clue.” 

“No offense, but you really have the apartment from hell!” Kelly snickers. And that’s your finishing touch, tonight. Between the power going out, everything getting repossessed, and Brandon and Kelly the power couple from hell, you can’t take it anymore. 

“You know, you guys just showed up!” You start, arms folded, “You just burst in, not even thinking that Brenda and I might have a life, just assuming that it would be fine to invite yourself to someone else’s apartment!” 

“Y’know, you could’ve been a little more supportive and offered the apartment,” Brandon jeers. 

“Supportive?! Give me a break! What about you, Brandon?! You’ve been so vain and self-absorbed these past two weeks that I’m not even sure you’re the same guy anymore!” You snarl out, and you can almost guarantee that all the neighbors are now privy to the drama, but at the moment you really don’t care. You try to stop the words but the more they flow out the harder they are to stop. You can feel the burning in your eyes as they well up, “and you, Kelly!” You can hear the disgust rolling off your tongue as you say her name, “You just hate when anyone besides yourself gets attention, so you decide to console yourself on Brandon! Why can’t you go for any of the millions of guys in Beverly Hills, why do you have to always go straight for your friend’s boyfriends?!” 

You pause for a moment and inhale deeply, “Look. You guys have had no problem passing me right by, so why don’t you both just keep on going and leave me the hell alone?” 

“C’mon, Y/N. Don’t do this now!” He whips you back around, his grasp firm but gentle enough that if you wanted to keep walking, you could. You look him dead in the eye as your voice softens.

“I’m sorry, it bad timing for your campaign?” 

Brandon sighs, and when the light catches his eye you can see he’s just as thrilled with this fight as you are, tears delicately rimming the edges. He releases his grip on your arm. Taking your hand in his instead, apologetically, he drops his voice down to match yours. 

“I gotta go now. Are you sure you don’t want to come?”

“I don’t even think I want to vote. But hey, you know what, Brandon? Congratulations. You might really have what it takes to be a politician.”

-

“Mr. Walsh, your proposals please.” 

“Uh, my first order of business will be to get rock bands every Friday at lunch.” The room breaks out in an erupting cheer as you and Brenda watch amusedly off to the side. You look down at the “Walsh for Class President” button in your hand, fidgeting with the metal clasp between your fingers as a brief chant of “Walsh! Walsh! Walsh!” starts. God, he had them eating out of his fingers at this point. 

His opponent, Michael Miller, leans into the mic. His voice rings throughout the room skeptically as the cheers settle, “How do you plan to implement this?”

“Well, Uh…” He swallows, “Contact the bands.”

“It’s a little more complicated than that. There are releases and— and permits and insurance. When I was assistant activities committee chairman—“that doesn’t sound like a real title but whatever“—I brought in bands for the prom. Are you aware of all the red tape involved?” 

“Uh…” Come on, Brandon. Say something. “No.” Uh-oh. “But you are. And that’s just one of about fifty reasons why you’re more qualified to be president than I am.” 

Your hear Kelly’s enraged whispers from behind you, “What the hell is he doing?” As you smile down at your hands you know exactly what he was doing. He was being Brandon. 

“And you certainly run a more honorable campaign. During the two weeks of total campaign madness, I set out to be an honest reputable candidate. I ended up with a vague campaign and I seriously hurt the people I love along the way. Not only that, but I’m nowhere near as experienced you as you are. And that’s the reason why I’m throwing my support to you… Mr. President.” Unanimous frustration spreads across the room, groans and everyone else’s aggravated yells sounding out. But you? You’re trying to keep your grin down. 

-

"Hey, B.” You approach him in the hallway as he skids to a stop, letting Steve wander off with Donna and Kelly.

“Oh, hey. You want to talk?" 

"I think we better,” you pause, “I can’t believe you dropped out… I mean, Steve was gonna stuff the ballot box for you and everything. He’s a real friend, that Steve.”

"I’m sorry." 

"Wait– why?" 

"You were right. I was self-absorbed. I got so wrapped up in trying to win any way that I could that in the long run all it did was push you away. I’m sorry."

"I’m sorry too,” you sigh, “as soon as things didn’t go as I planned I ran off. I think it’s safe to say we both did our share of messing up this week." 

"Me a little more so than you, but yeah. I’d say so,"  he nods in agreement. As you peer to the nearest wall, you’re met with yet another Brandon Walsh poster. You smile deviously, yanking a sharpie out of your purse. You raise the marker to the poster and begin to sketch a goatee onto his black and white face with the real one off to your side, chuckling at your immaturity. You hand the sharpie off to him so he can continue to defile his own face. "Remind me to thank Andrea for this experience, will you?" 

-

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Taglist: @be-patient-be-good @mpmarypoppins @bevelyhills90210 @blueoz @harleylilo88 @princess-ghost-alien @hueycat2004 @l4life @keepcalm-and-beyou​ @palefiregiver​  @rosy-pugs @bitch-imma-head-out-deactivated

[darthchic]

Character War: Zoro vs Sanji

Trying to put my own bias aside, and because I’m bored here in quarantine, I was thinking about how I could fairly break down parts of Zoro and Sanji’s characters and compare them. I want to see if I can analytically decide which character is more well realised or well written (just because there’s always that rivalry between both the characters and the fans, you often can’t help but ask yourself these kinds of questions).

EDIT: OH, and SPOILERS if you wish to read this and are not up to date

If the question was “Who’s the more popular character?” though, Zoro wins hands down, no contest.

 So, I broke the two characters down into categories:

–    Design

–    Fighting Style

–    Fights/Achievements

–    Coolness

–    Backstory

–    Gag

–    Development

 Design: Neither Zoro or Sanji have designs that particularly stand out to me, not within their own universe or in anime in general. Seriously, think of some crazy-ass looking characters you've seen in other anime and Zoro and Sanji simply pale in comparison. Heck, they pale in comparison to some of their fellow crewmates (Usopp, Chopper, Franky, Brook etc.) and over time their designs have probably been... how to put this... made more attractive as time goes on? Cause you know, you gotta let the female fans have some eye candy too. And with attractiveness tends to come more “normalness” (not a word but whatever) cause you can't go too crazy with the overall design in case it becomes off-putting. The only thing that really stands out for Zoro and Sanji respectively is hair colour and eyebrows.

–    Still if I had to declare one of them the winner... I'd have to say Sanji, just for his more 'unique' eyebrows. We've seen plenty of anime/manga featuring characters with hair colours that match every colour in the rainbow, so it's commonplace for someone to have green or pink hair and no-one really bats an eye. Peculiar eyebrows however are less common, although not rare (as far as I can tell), but for anime fans, it's something I think people still instantly notice more so than a character's hair colour. So.... point to SANJI! But barely, and it’s not much of a win.

 Sanji 1/0 Zoro

 Fighting Style: Again, neither a sword fighting style or kicking fight style is exactly uncommon, but I am edging towards Sanji's fighting style and I'll try to justify why, even if it is due to my own personal preferences. To me, sword fighting is often the go-to 'bad-ass' method of fighting, cause, come on, SWORDS ARE COOL (can't help but think about the overwhelming popularity of Pokemon Sword vs Pokemon Shield for example). Sword fights/fighters are iconic and that’s the issue at times for me because I feel like I've seen enough sword fights at this point, and not just in anime. So, while they're fun, their overexposure makes me appreciate something different a lot more.

–    To me, Sanji's style has a bit more 'kick' to it (oh yes!) and his reasons for using a kicking style are a bit more unique and interesting as well (being that he’s a cook and can’t damage his hands, the tools to his craft). His style is fun to watch, requires a bit more imagination when designing his moves, but it also has a strange kind of elegance to it which I appreciate. Not that sword fighting can't look elegant (Hello, ‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon’), but I love that people often joke that some shots of Sanji make it look like he could be a dancer which I find amusing, because it’s true. Plus, I admire the fact that he's the only Straw-hat that fights without either a magic power/devil fruit or a literal weapon (though he has now grown accustomed to the raid suit, so…). But, for the majority of the story so far, the dude has just used his legs and that’s it. And is the 3rd (or fourth if you count Jinbei now) most powerful member of the crew, and still impressively strong overall amongst a massive cast of crazy powerful characters. Also, dude can fly. Actually fly. He can fight in the skies, sing “Walking in the Air” and it would not seem completely ridiculous. So, people reading this may not agree, but, point to SANJI!

Sanji 2/0 Zoro

 Fights/Achievements: I feel that most fans prefer Zoro's fights as he tends to take on the second strongest villains of each arc (with Luffy obviously taking on the strongest), which is automatic epicness. I know some fans even argue that Zoro would have no problems taking on the strongest villains in Luffy's place anyway, though I would disagree simply due to the fact that if Luffy were weaker/equal in strength to Zoro then why would he even be captain? The guy who's gonna be the Pirate King can hardly be weaker than one of his own crewmates, it ain't right!

–    Anyway, Zoro's battles tend to be straight-up badass one-on-one feats of strength, while Sanji's can be a mix of badass and sometimes plain goofy (thinking of Sanji vs Mr. 2 here or Sanji vs Wanze). And I do think Oda makes it clear that Zoro is the more powerful of the two, making his wins a lot more impressive, awe-inspiring, and show how physically far he’ll go in order to succeed (man should really have no blood left in his body). For me personally though, I often found many of Zoro’s fights a bit dull, like his fight with Mr. 1 for e.g. (ha, ironic), and when I watch his big battle with Kaku, while I like Kaku as a character, I had a hard time taking the image of Zoro fighting a sword-wielding Giraffe seriously. Sanji fighting a wolf with a moustache often looks goofy as well, but at least wolves come across as a bit more threatening (unless you have been on a scary Safari tour o__O…).

–    Alas, I would give Zoro the point for fights simply because I know how much the fandom appreciates them and the effort he puts in, BUT.... as for achievements... Maybe I'm being sneaky with this, but for me, while Sanji's fights maybe aren't considered as iconic as Zoro's, his actions towards helping the crew solidified Sanji's usefulness to the crew as not only a fighter but a tactician, and without him at a certain point, there wouldn't be any epic Zoro fights to appreciate. Sanji's rescue of the crew in Alabasta was pretty damn awesome, the fact they wouldn't have even reached Alabasta in the first place if Sanji hadn't gotten a hold of the Alabasta eternal log pose is hilarious, his saving of Usopp and Nami in Skypeia, his enabling of the Merry to escape without being blown to smithereens in the Enies Lobby arc, it's all just undeniably awesome. And to me, just as equally iconic and important as Zoro's fights, sooooo... I'm calling it a TIE!

 Sanji 3/1 Zoro

 Coolness: HAHA! Ok, come on, I love Sanji, but Oda's portrayal of him can get a bit ridiculous at times and sometimes rob him of his dignity, whereas with Zoro, Oda really doesn't humiliate him that much. He's usually always cool and epic and never seems to leave a negative impression in the eyes of fans. So, no question about it, point to ZORO!

 Sanji 3/2 Zoro

 Backstory: Ok, maybe it's just me, but I don't think many are gonna argue that Sanji has the better backstory? There's just more of it, it's better fleshed out, it establishes his character relationships and motives far better, it's just... better? Zoro's backstory perhaps is still to be further developed, but as it stands...

–    Zoro = Wants to become the greatest swordsman because of a promise he made to his dead rival/childhood friend. Nice, but doesn’t feel very original or special. Where did he come from before all that? Where/who is Zoro's family? Why did he want to be a swordsman in the first place? Cause it's cool? It just leaves me feeling annoyed because there’s these gaps and things left unanswered within his story and I can't tell if Oda's even going to give us any answers! But with a possibility that Zoro is from Wano, maybe something is eventually going to be explained? Still, I feel like Oda needs to be careful he doesn't make a repetitive tragic backstory, cause I worry that at some point he's going to run out of ideas on how to make each new backstory more uniquely depressing than the last, to the point where it's gonna be a 'been there, done that' kind of deal. Or maybe he’ll actually reveal that Zoro has a DUN-DUN-DUN living mother. I mean, that’s rarely done in this series, so that would be pretty shocking.

–    Sanji = Born as a quadruplet (still so weird to me) to a royal family, kind mother but douche-bag father. Mother dies saving Sanji's humanity because said douche-bag father violated mother and children by tampering with them before birth in order to make his children into sociopathic weapons. Sanji grew up emotionally and physically abused by father and brothers because he had kindness and compassion, and the abuse got so bad that he was even locked in a jail cell with an iron mask on his face because his father was ashamed of his existence. Mother, of course, dies, leaving Sanji with only an older sister to turn to, who could only be nice to him in secret and laugh at him in public. He decided to become a chef during imprisonment due to his mother giving him the only praise he had ever received and he enjoyed making her happy. Finally escapes douche-bag family thanks to decent sister freeing him, but only after promising to never admit he was related to his douche-bag father, further destroying him emotionally. Next, the ship he worked on was destroyed in a tidal wave, killing all his friends at the time, and left him alone on a rock with little food and a pirate who recently kicked the crap out of him. Went months without food only to find out that the pirate he hated had given him all the food, forcing him to cannibalize himself to survive. And all this happened before he was just 10 years old. So, from then on Sanji grew up with a fixed dedication/appreciation for food, but a clearly messed up self-image due to years of abuse and being told he was a failure by his biological father. Not to mention the man who saved his life, while a good man at heart, kinda has a messed up moral compass of his own, and kinda f**ked up Sanji's head in his own way (seriously, Sanji can't bring himself to hit a woman to save his own life cause he can't bear disappointing/disobeying Zeff, the man who actually loved him like a son? Jeez).

–    For real, Sanji's story is a doozy, and Zoro's just doesn't compare (at least not at the moment). Sorry, but clear point goes to SANJI!

 Sanji 4/2 Zoro

 Gag: Possibly debatable again, but I honestly do prefer (and the fandom majority seem to prefer) Zoro's whole getting lost gag to Sanji being a looney tunes pervert (some of the faces Oda draws, I swear!) I don't mind anime perverts so long as they have some substance to their character, but Oda places ‘Pervert Sanji’ in some situations where you're left screaming, “NOW'S NOT THE TIME DAMMIT!” Some moments can be thrown off kilter by the perverseness and/or fanservice to the point where you're just left face-palming. Arguably, the same can be said for Zoro, especially with his wandering off and getting lost in Wano right before Luffy faced off against Kaido (not that Zoro could do much about that anyway if he hadn't gotten lost), but just how easily he gets lost is so ridiculous that it veers right around from being annoying and returns straight back to being hilarious because of how mind-boggling it is. xD So, point to ZZZZZORO!

 Sanji 4/3 Zoro

  Development: Once again, another debatable one. Too debatable! There's no way around it; some may say Sanji's ‘self-rediscovery’ arc in Whole Cake Island made him the better developed character (or didn’t develop him at all) and some will say that Zoro's “Nothing happened” moment is the pinnacle of character development in One Piece, and to me, too much of it comes down to preference and I find it hard to justify why one is potentially better developed than the other. Especially when there could still be further development for them to come. So.... yeah, another TIE!

 Sanji 5/4 Zoro

So, there it is, I killed some great time in quarantine with this(!) Maybe there’s more ‘categories’ I could have added, but with what I came up with, I really did try not to be bias here. I do think it’s important to have a character that can hit ‘all the beats’, deliver in terms of action scenes, comedy and the emotional hard-hitting moments too. I can’t help but appreciate the male characters who are more in touch with their emotions and show vulnerability, which is what I appreciate with Sanji, and why I probably don’t connect with Zoro as much as I’d like to?

Going through all of this however has made me think that I'm actually fairer than I thought I was. No? Yes? Close call anyway.

[ivory-haired-queens-blog]

Unpopular Opinions: Fandom Edition

Hey none of you asked but I’m here to deliver so here are some unpopular opinions for the fandoms I’m in. Spoilers, duh.

Marvel:

I don’t like Natasha. Or Steve.

Pepper Potts is a top.

As much as I love Loki, his death was nessicary in Infinity War.

Steve should have killed Bucky in Civil War. He was a threat, plain and simple.

I ship Ironstrange/Supremefamily.

Clint should have died in Infinity War.

I love Tony Stark with my whole heart. (Not an unpopular opinion but you needed to know that)

I’m not happy with the end of Endgame.

10 years in the making....for you to do Thor like that?

Not because he’s fat or because he’s dealing with trauma, that’s totally acceptable.

What’s not acceptable is them making Thor into the butt of the joke because he’s fat.

I love the Antman movies.

I’m totally not biased because I loved lost.

(I’m kinda biased)

Shuri is the best Marvel character and would beat Tony Stark in a battle of wits.

(I’m so gay I love her.)

With as many years as Marvel has had the MCU, I am disgusted at the lack of diversity within the movies.

Like it’s 2019 and we JUST got a female empowerment scene in Endgame.

Like I want a gay superhero.

(We have a disabled one thank god. Love you Stephen.)

And don’t give me that Valkyrie/Captain Marvel BS because they never blatantly stated or showed it in their movies.

I want an Asian superhero bitch.

A superhero who is Muslim/Islam/and religion besides Christian.

I think that, as much as I hate Natasha and Steve, they should have been the ones that Bruce first sees in Infinity War. I know it set up the whole “earth is closed today” sequence but it didn’t make sense and was OOC.

I love Stephen Strange and he’s never done a single thing wrong ever in his life I would die for this man.

I like MCU Peter Parker over the origional movie Spider-Man.

Fight me.

I also like the Tony Stark/Peter Parker better than the Uncle Ben/Peter Parker so @ me.

The 100

I don’t ship Bellarke that hard.

Like yes, I think they’re obviously being groomed to end up together. I know the show runners will make them official before the end of the series. I’m not mad about that, I just don’t really care to be honest. It’s like, too obvious.

But there are some cute bellarke scenes

What they did to Monty was bullshit but what they did to Jasper was worse.

I feel no guilt whatsoever in saying that I think that killing all of Mount Weather was what they should have done from the beginning.

Yes, even the kids. Because if you kill their leaders, the men and women will fight back. The colony would have been left with a handful of adults, and a bunch of kids if the origional plan had worked. This is doomed to fail and honestly just killing them all would be better than seeing them kill eachother for food, power, whatever. If that makes sense.

I think that Finn deserved to die.

I think that Murphey deserves the world.

Charlotte fucking killed Wells. Yes she’s young but she knows better than to kill someone. Maybe not kill her, but we all know that Clarke wouldn’t have banished her like she did Murphey. Clarke has a gender bias because Murphey didn’t do anything and she wouldn’t have punished Charlotte as hard because she’s a young girl. I rest my case

Even though what he did was bad and wrong, I don’t think Murphey should have been banished. He’s right. They were all compliant and even excited when he was being hung, but when it’s a little girl all bets are off.

Like Bellamy brought the whole hostage thing upon himself because he fucking tied a noose around Murphey’s throat.

Again, not that what Murphey did was right. He didn’t have to act like that. Jasper didn’t do anything to him.

Also this segment is getting long but the show writers and everyone else just casually forgot that Murphey was TORTURED? Hello? Are we not going to acknowledge that?

I shipped Clexa with my whole heart.

Another actually popular opinion: what they’ve done to Raven’s character this season is bullshit. Her only role is Abby’s moral compass. This is the same girl who shuttled to earth in a Tin Can. She’s better than this.

What the fuck??? Happened to??? Jordan???

Like Madi stabbed him

And then they proceeded to not talk about it for like four episodes and then casually mention it in passing like “oh he saved Pria that means he gets to live”

Like they set up his character to be really important this season.

But he’s not.

I think that Murphey/Emori is the best ship.

I also think that Either Murphey or Emori or Both are secretly double crossing the Primes. (This comes out before the finale of season six)

They didn’t have to do Onyia like that

The opening of season three is so weak that I actually stopped watching the show around that time (I’d been watching since the beginning of season two) because there’s just nothing there in the first like 10 minutes and I couldn’t do it.

Maybe I’m just impatient but it’s bad.

I think that Octavia did the best that she could with what she had available and I think that’s she’s not a bad person for what she did with the fighting pits/cannabalism. And I know that if Bellamy had been in her place, he would have eventually done the same.

Kane was a whiny bitch in season 5.

Why’d the kill Diyoza(I can’t spell) like that?

I liked Joesephine. It was really fun to see Eliza Taylor be able to get a new character in the show. Also props to her for that last episode with pretending to be Joesephine and being Clarke at the same time.

I called the dude being Gabriel from the first time I saw him you peasants.

Octavia’s redemption arc this season is beautiful.

They did....that.....to Kane. I’m angerey.

Lost In space

Not enough people watch this show. (The Netflix remake or the origional)

Seriously guys it’s a good show.

Absolutely nothing is wrong with it.

I love Don West with my whole heart.

I love Dr. Smith with my half heart.

I love the robot with my two hearts.

I love Penny Robinson with all the stars in the galaxy.

I love all of them okay.

There are no plot holes, no inconsistencies, no faulty science and anyone who says (or proves) otherwise is wrong.

It’s confirmed for a season two which should air in like the December-February time area.

It’s a Netflix show so you can binge the entire season in like a weekend.

Seriously watch it.

The Umbrella Academy

Five x Delores is weird.

Luther x Allison is illegal.

Klaus deserves all the push pops in the world.

The handler is hot.

The Comission killed Dave.

Luther is the most boring, Unorigional, straight white guy character I’ve seen in a long time. I hate him so much.

Allison is a queen but her character is brought down by her weird relationship with her brother.

Tbh if I was Allison you know I’d be telling my kids that I heard a rumor that theyd go the fuck to sleep. Like that’s a good thing. Idk maybe I’m just a sociopath.

Istanbul not Constantinople being played over a scene where five murders a squad of Commission people is the greatest cinematic masterpiece ever conceived by man.

“Where are you going” “to save the world” “oh is that all?” Iconic.

None of these are really unpopular but the show writers seem to think differently.

Diego has never done anything wrong in his life like yaaaasss bitch kill your brother at yo daddy’s funeral!!! Work!!!

PaTcH

AAaAHh

Big Theif - Mary is the perfect song to play over Klaus returning from Vietnam.

Will you love me, like you loved me in the January rain?

It’s up there with Goodbye July.

Speaking of Goodbye July....

Z Nation

Many people haven’t watched it

It’s like if The Walking Dead and Zombieland had a baby....and then the baby did a line of cocaine.

It’s wild.

Watching Garnet die ruined every sliver of hope I had in humanity.

I have a special place in my heart for this show because it’s the first show that me and my mom would stay up and watch the new episodes air every Friday. It brought us closer and I can’t thank the cast and show runners enough for this.

So maybe I’m biased, but you should watch it.

Having Murphey switch from being an anti-hero to a villain back to an anti-hero and then to a regular hero, amazing. Astonishing. The peak of human existence.

Even though he’s not entirely human.

What color is Murphey today? Is he pale, discolored, grey, blue, red? We don’t know!

Roberta Warren is the Black Goddess main protagonist that we deserve.

Addison Carver is a functional Bi.

10k is tragic backstory central but other than that, his character development is pretty lacking other than him persuing love interests.

None of these are really unpopular opinions but I doubt any of you have watched the show. It’s on Netflix. Watch it.

Oooooohhhhh George.

Georgia St. Clair could stomp me to death and my ghost would still want to fuck her.

Anyways I’m gay

God damn I have a lot of pent up Gay energy.

Murphey and Lucy have a realistic enstranged father/daughter relationship and it’s heartwarming.

And then they killed her off to save him.

Honestly if you name a character Murphey they can only be assholish bad boys with a good heart deep down sorry I don’t make the rules.

Also if you name a character Murphey I will love them with my whole soul.

I’m so mad they cancelled the show.

I’m infinitely more mad that they named that disgrace of a show Black Summer and claimed that it was a prequel....but it didn’t follow the same cast and had they not advertised it as a prequel I would never have guessed.

Black Summer gives totally opposite vibes than Z Nation does. I get that black summer is supposed to be the worst time that the zombie apocalypse ever had, with cannibals and no food, but it feels like s completely different show.

It’s like if The Walking Dead claimed that it is a prequel/occurs during Shaun of the Dead.

Like....no. They’re....no.

Anyway watch it it’s good.

Detroit: Become Human

Connor isn’t the best character.

This is an unpopular opinion post deal with it.

Markus has to be my favorite.

Honestly this game is so good and not even just graphics-wise.

It’s the same robotic sentience story we’ve been fed for years, but this time it’s from the Android’s perspective and this time all they want is to be free. That’s it.

I fucking hate North.

Hank is literally if Rick from Rick and Morty were serious.

The only correct way to play Connor is to walk the thin line between deviant and regular A.I. Without leaving out Hank. The correct thing to do is make Conner deviant at Jericho.

The only correct way to play Kara is to protect Alice with every fiber of your being. Meanwhile, get close to her. Do not get caught, even if that means dissappointing her.

The only correct way to play Markus is to lead a peaceful revolution. Also tell North to fuck off.

The border patrol guy who either gets Kara and Alice caught or knowingly lets Androids cross the border is the best character. Forget about Markus, this guy sees either “oh fuck androids are killing people, maybe we shouldn’t let this one cross the border” or “Androids just want to be free and are peacefully fighting for this. Let this one and her daughter through.” I love him.

LUTHER.

YES DADDY.

anyway.

Let Out The Bear He Just Wants To Say Hi :)

Even though I think Conner is overrated by the fandom, I do like him.

But he’s not a pure innocent cinnamon roll either.

It depends on how you play, but he has really violent options so stop the “He wouldn’t harm a fly” attitude.

But he is cute.

The home screen for the game is revolutionary (no pun intended) and I hope future game follow suit in making the first impression of the game something cool.

Stealing clothes/money/the fence cutters is literally okay.

Also if you put Kara in white hair you can die.

If in your first actual play through you got the Kara lives at the recycling plant ending but Alice dies, you can die too.

I’ve never actually seen the steal money and go to motel option play out because it’s stupid, especially if you don’t steal clothes. Like that’s begging to be caught.

Stranger things

Billy Hargrove is bad and just because he’s abused does not make what he does okay.

Harringrove is gross and I’m gay so my opinion counts as double.

That being said, there are some really cute fics about Harringrove and I can see the appeal of “good boy falls for mysterious bad boy with a dark past and trauma”

I’ve said I’m gay this whole post because I say it a lot, but I don’t like actually labeling myself but I like girls and boys and everything in between and I say I’m gay kinda as a joke when girls are hot.

That being said...

Steve Harrington calling himself Daddy made me feel things.

Strange things.

Haha get it I’m making a joke to distract you from the daddy part.

Steve Harrington is a good person now, but he was still an asshole before and he can still be criticized for his past.

I used to be hardcore Jancy but after season three I feel like Nancy needs and deserves a break from boys so she can figure out herself and who she is now and what she wants to do without the weight of boys and boyfriends constantly around her.

That being said i still don’t like Nancy because she was flirting/slept in the same bed with Jonathan whilst obviously having feelings for him while she and Steve were still a thing. It’s not cheating but to me it’s close enough to raise red flags.

Robin is perfect in every way.

I don’t like Jonathan. He’s creepy in s1, fine in s2, but then is s3 he doesn’t do anything to or about his male bosses when Nancy is being made fun of because she’s a woman.

Seeing Nancy’s class priveledge/Jonathan’s male priveledge clashing was so cool tbh

Elmax > Mileven > Lumax

Jim Hopper, with all his faults, is still a caring dad.

Plus him threatening Mike made me laugh so hard sksksksks

Steve Harrington deserves the world and then some.

Low key I really want s4 to give in insight on his family life.

I also want him to get an apartment with Robin.

Robins cute tbh but for half the season I though she was a Russian spy. I guess I was wrong.

Mrs. Wheeler shouldn’t sleep with billy (not that she can now) because it’s wrong, but the reason she wanted to is because her husband is so boring and she gave up on her dreams to be his perfect housewife. She wanted a challenge with Billy. Instead, she should leave her pushover of a husband and find someone better.

Anyway Steve Harrington deserves the world.

Yeah okay hate me whatever.

[fluffyunicornofdanger]

In the Past

A/N: I’m probably not gonna have many fics out this coming week because I’m in Seattle for a wedding. Not only do I have a lot of requests, but I also am stuck on one and it fucking sucks. Anyway, this fic is kinda short, but it’s angsty and that’s what I’m in the mood for right now. I need to do more blurbs anyway, they are always a nice quick read. So, enjoy!

*~~*~~*

Masterlist

Izzy Stradlin x Reader

Requested by: Anonymous

Request:  Can I also request Izzy one shot? Have you heard the manicurist story how she lost her virginity to Izzy in 1988 and went to gnr concert in 2012 and took a photo with him but he didn’t recognised her? I have in mind something like Izzy being with his wife since 1985, married her in 1988 few months before this and them arguing about it in front of this girl and years later they’re still married happier than ever and reader gets jealous when she sees this woman and Iz is clingy to his wife later?

Word Count: 962

Warnings: Angst, language, grammar (I don’t feel like editing)

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair how easily something so valuable could be thrown away like it was trash. That just wasn’t right, but’s that’s what happened. Y/n looked at her hands, music blaring from the stage. She knew it was a bad idea to come to the concert, but she went anyway. Fear was pushed aside when hope bubbled up inside her. 

Y/n remembered the first time she had gone to a Guns n’ Roses concert, back in 87’. The band was quickly gaining fame and she not only had to fight people to get tickets, but she also had to fight to get a good view. And what a view it was. Most of her friends swooned at the sight of Axl or Duff, but Izzy had stolen her heart. At that time, she wasn’t sure how to explain it. Maybe it was because he didn’t seem to belong. He was laid back and calm, the complete opposite of his band members. Now she was able to explain why, no matter how much it hurt. She was able to explain why he was his whole world but she wasn’t his. 

Tears stung her eyes as the memories came flooding back.

*~~*~~*

It was the summer of 1988, Y/n was a young, free-spirited girl, who was trying to find her place in the world like everyone else. A native of L.A. she didn’t have to go far to find the promised land or the Sunset strip. By that time she had been to quite a few Guns n’ Roses concerts and done more than watch Izzy play.

Y/n knew she was nothing but a groupie in the guitarist’s eyes, or anyone else’s for that matter, but she couldn’t help but feel they could be something more. Izzy always took her to the studio or to wild parties, keeping her close, she knew it was so he could fuck whenever he wanted, but she didn’t care. It was more affection than she had ever gotten from anyone else. She’d thought that by giving him what he wanted, by giving him her body, that he would love her the way she loved him.

But that’s not how love works.

It turned out that Izzy did love someone during their time together, just not her. It was a painful blow, to find out that she was fucking a married man. It was even more painful to watch Izzy and his wife fight about it in front of her. Her whole world came crashing down that day, her morals and values thrown out the window, she wasn’t even sure who she was anymore. 

“We haven’t even been married a fucking year, Izzy! Am I just not enough for you?” his wife screamed at him. 

Y/n sat frozen in his bed, sheets covering her. Get up and leave! Just fucking leave! No matter what she told herself, she couldn’t do anything. It was a weird experience, she felt like she wasn’t in control of her own body. She knew it would be best for everyone if she left, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

Izzy ran a hand over his face, pain in his eyes. He knew he fucked up. “I’m sorry, babe. It just happened a-and it won’t happen again. She means nothing to me, okay? I wouldn’t have married you if she had meant anything to me.”

Y/n bite her lip, that was the last nail in the coffin. That was all she needed to hear to make her get out of the bed and grab her clothes, throwing them on. It hurt like a bitch to mean nothing to the person that meant the most to you.

*~~*~~*

The music had died down and the band had exited the stage. Y/n breathed a sigh of relief when Izzy was out of sight. She knew better than to hope that he remembered her. He probably forgot all about her after she’d left his place that day 30 years ago, but she hadn’t forgotten about it.

“Aunt Meg said you lost your virginity to a member of the band. Is that true, mom?”

Y/n turned to her daughter, flashing her a sad smile. “Don’t believe everything your aunt says. She used to do some hard drugs, so I’m not sure she’s all there in the…” she trailed off as a woman caught her eye.

She’d only seen the woman once, her face should have faded as the years went by, but it never did. Y/n watched as the woman walked backstage, wrapping Izzy in a firm hold. She sucked in a breath, envious of what she could never have. 

Izzy had never loved her, it was made clear that night his wife had walked in on them. Not only could pain be seen in his eyes, but love as well, and Y/n knew better than to think it was for her. She was just the other woman, the forgotten one that no one wanted to mention. Her name was taboo like so many other women just like her.

“Mom.” Her daughter nudged her. “Let’s go get some food, I’m starving.”

She nodded, turning away from the man she used to love. 

It was no use dwelling on the past. Y/n had all she could ever want, though her love life wasn’t that perfect, it had given her a family that she loved. The past did nothing but hurt, so why bother with it when the future was clean and bright. The man she’d once loved, lost her virginity to, was no more than a thing of the past, someone who she wouldn’t remember in another twenty years. 

At least, she hoped she wouldn’t.

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