#edit: AND LENTILS

[roylustang]

I can’t believe I never thought of buying canned soups before and then just putting extra stuff in it and heating it up in my rice cooker. Easiest hot 5 minute meal in the world

[clatterbane]

Tonight's plan underway!

I wanted something easy to make and eat, and my body is calling out for more vegetables. So, I decided to go for one of my old classic "broke veg*n" specials: makeshift dal! With red lentils this time.

I'm also on my own for the weekend, and this should help keep me in somewhat balanced ready food through several meals, without even needing to cook an absolute shit-ton of the stuff. (As difficult as it may be for me to downscale!) I also am a much bigger fan of concoctions like this than my partner. Good timing to gorge myself on lentil curry.

Was having trouble bringing myself to even peel and cut up some carrot to put in there. So, I remembered that we do have some of that frozen vegetable blend that's largely made up of two colors of carrots. Fuck it, we're going frozen veggies all the way other than the onion. And that's only because I don't actually have frozen chopped onions right now, unlike the chopped garlic and ginger there.

The other veggies I grabbed out are some cauliflower partly thawed to cut into smaller pieces because it needed that, and some leaf spinach in that mug over to the side. All to go in at different points.

Not pictured: the onion that's currently frying in some oil, probably half a can of crushed tomatoes, and some bottled lime juice to add a little extra oomph at the end. Also items like a pat of butter to cook in the rice, and extra salt etc. I considered using coconut milk too in the dal, but this size batch wouldn't need the whole thing and I have no other plans for the remainder. It'll be fine either way.

Definitely not claiming this is any kind of actual South Asian dish, but it should be fairly tasty and filling.

[haltiamieli]

commentary on "ethical consumerism" in buying groceries

(sources: one piece by eiichiro oda, prose poetry by original poster)

[daisychainsandbowties]

hmm. starting to wonder if sleeping is a real thing

[wegtable]

can someone edit the book cover “too many tamales” to “too many lentils”

[lexicog]

thing I doodled for an example when I was thinking of offering pfp commissions

[unicyclehippo]

Hey, Ollie, you mentioned AGES ago that Show Me the Way Home (Avatrice) had a second chapter, it just wasn't perfect yet-- do you think you'll ever post it? Or is that officially an abandoned fic?

its not abandoned, i actually did some minor editing on it the other day. the problem is that its a very seasonally locked piece in my mind & also im lazy & also a perfectionist & also i want to watch wn again before i keep writing it bc i need to rmbr what the characters are like & basically any one of those obstacles are enough to shut me right down so.

it actually is a four part story & if u want, i can share a little with u now? maybe that'll make me feel better for not posting it yet lmao

thursday 22nd december

// 6:55 //

Beatrice stood by the doorway of her apartment, phone in hand and duffel bag at her feet, and wished she was already at her parent’s holiday home. 

It wasn’t that she thought their reunion would be simple or pleasant; it was more that today had started hot and was getting hotter and her parents kept their home at a crisp twenty-three degrees at all hours of the day and night, environmental impact be damned. As the humidity clung to her, a bead of sweat rolling down the back of her neck, Beatrice’s thoughts drifted to the crystal blue pool and the ocean wind that would blow up from the cove and she checked her phone again for any word from her driver. 

Camila’s voice travelled from the kitchen. ‘Maybe you should take the can opener with you. I mean, what if you need to open a can and you don’t have one? There might be beans. Baked beans, cannellini beans, red kidney beans.’

‘I’m sure my parents have one. They do have a kitchen. And a personal chef.’

Camila heard her. The apartment was too small for her not to have heard but she continued listing off every tinned item she could think of. 

‘Lentils, obviously. Diced tomatoes, crushed tomatoes, peeled tomatoes, puréed tomatoes.’ There was a long pause. Beatrice wondered if Camila was reading the labels of what they had in the pantry; if she was, those lentils had been there for a very long time. ‘Tinned peaches.’

‘I think those come with a tab now,’ Beatrice pointed out. She kept her voice mild, not really wanting to draw Camila’s attention to her hiding place by the door. 

At some point over the last few days, the nerves buzzing under Beatrice’s skin had jumped ship and now Camila was the one pacing the confines of their apartment. She’d picked over every inch of the house in search of things Beatrice might need—which ranged from the useful, like the good phone charger she’d “found” (definitely hadn’t stolen out of her room a month ago) to what could be charitably called not useful, like the can opener—and now she stood at the end of the hall bearing the can opener and a dark frown befitting a serial killer. 

Beatrice cleared her throat. Carefully, she said, ‘I really don’t think I need it.’

Camila looked down at her weapon. ‘Oh. Right. No, sure, of course not.’ She tossed it backward into the living room; it missed the couch, landing instead on the floor with a loud thud, the sound of their rental bond being instantly halved. Beatrice winced. Camila seemed not to have noticed, though, and with her hands now empty she returned to chewing nervously at her thumb nail. She scanned the living room, hawkish, before fixing her attention on Beatrice once more. 

‘Can I help you?’

‘Are you sure you want to do this?’

‘Camila…’

‘Because you don’t have to. You know that, don’t you? It’s not your only option—you could come home with me again! My parents would love it, we’d all love it, I promise. And you wouldn’t be intruding at all, I swear. The boys ask about you all the time and when you’re coming to visit again.’

‘They’re very sweet.’

‘Sweet! When they want something, sure! They’re still hoping you’ll teach them how to throw people—they bring up your match with Conner every time I call home.’

‘Tell them I’ll think about it.’

‘That can be your Christmas present for them. And Pop, he says you’re the only good one of the bunch.’

‘It’s because I don’t talk.’

‘I know. Poor guy. Christmas in a household of me’s. It’s so loud we have to mime everything for him.’

Beatrice smiled. ‘He turns off his hearing aids.’

‘What? That sneak!’

‘Don’t tell him I was the one that dobbed him in.’

‘It’ll be the very first thing I say—then you won’t be his favourite anymore and the rest of us will have a fair shot.’ Laughter shone in her eyes; it faded a little as she stared at Beatrice, gaze flicking down to the duffel at her feet. ‘I’m serious, Bea. You could call up your parents and tell them you’re not coming anymore. I’d prefer you tell them to go fuck themselves but.’ She sucked in a breath, shook her head. ‘Bea. Don’t waste your time on them. Spend your holiday with people who want you around. Who love you.’

It was a tempting offer. Of course it was.

From the day they met, Camila had been Beatrice’s friend; from the second, her sister. She’d gone out of her way to be all that a sister could be—kind, understanding, supportive, deeply irritating—and offered it all without cost. Her family was just the same. 

Beatrice remembered last Christmas fondly. The singing, the laughter, her chair squashed up to the end of the table next to Camila’s, the friendly chatter, the elbows bumping, the squabbles breaking out, the yet more guests arriving and pulling up a chair, the pass the salt, pass the butter, pass the damn water would you I’m dying over here, where’s the champagne, Arthur we don’t need another bottle of champagne it’s not even midday for Christssake, Beatrice do you want a second serve help yourself sweetheart, when do we open the presents. It had been loud, sometimes overwhelming, and wonderful all the same. 

But. 

Beatrice shook her head. 

Camila sighed. ‘I had to try, obviously.’

‘I know. Thank you.’ She set her hand on Camila’s wrist and squeezed. ‘I appreciate it, very much. Please tell them… Please tell everyone I miss them and that I’ll see them soon.’

‘You mean for your surprise birthday party?’

Beatrice smiled. ‘I’m looking forward to it.’

‘Good. Because mum’s going to need a menu from you—’

‘I thought we agreed we’d buy the food, Camila, I’m not making your mum cook for me.’

‘She likes to cook for her kids. Unless you want me to tell her you’d prefer eating a stranger’s food over hers?’ Beatrice scowled at the bold threat. ‘That’s what I thought. Pick what you want and I’ll tell her. Better yet, text her yourself.’

‘If I know your mother, she has something in mind already.’

‘More like eleven somethings.’ 

They shared an identical grin. Camila’s mother had a small habit of going overboard for parties and events. A buzz broke the moment. They both glanced down at Beatrice’s phone. 

Mr. Morris I have arrived

Beatrice Thank you. I will be there momentarily.

Beatrice nodded. This was it. She slid her phone into her pocket. ‘Mister Morris is here. I should go.’ To Camila’s suddenly stricken expression, she soothed, ‘It will be fine, Camila.’ And, because she was not completely oblivious to Camila’s concern, ‘I will be fine.’

‘I know that. Of course I know that. But I want—you don’t have to be just fine. You should be having fun. You’re my best friend, Bea, I want you to be happy.’

Beatrice paused. She struggled for a moment to think of a way to explain the purpose of this holiday to Camila, explain her purpose, in a way that she would understand and accept. 

‘It means so much,’ she began, carefully, ‘to be welcome in your family. But they will always be your family.’

‘Bea…’

‘You and they are all beyond generous.’ She held up a hand to stop Camila interrupting. ‘I know they love me, and I love them. I do love Christmas with your family. It’s always wonderful and comfortable and fun.’ She paused, considering her words. ‘But this is - this is about me,’ she admitted with difficulty, and was rewarded for the effort when Camila softened. ‘I want to go. I need to find out whether I have a place with them or not. And I’ve been so uncertain of how it might turn out that I haven’t tried. But this invitation is an opportunity. One would like to make the most of.’

Camila grabbed both of her hands and pulled her close. Very intensely, she said, ‘Okay.'

'Okay? Just like that?' Beatrice asked, doubtful.

'Yeah. I’m not going to say I understand because I don’t. It honestly makes me furious and a little bit sick to think of you going back to them. But I love you and I trust you and I want you to call me if you need anything. And whatever happens, Beatrice, you always have a place with me. Always.’

Beatrice smiled. Shifted so that she was the one holding Camila’s hands. Her friend wouldn’t let her go willingly and there was a big part of Beatrice that wanted to let herself be held tight and give in to her friend’s protectiveness, to be bundled safely up into Camila’s terrifying little car and trundling off to visit family. 

It was hard to pull free. 

Beatrice stepped back and opened the door.

‘There’s no need to fret, Camila. I’ll have Ava with me, remember?’

‘Yeah. I know. It’ll be great, you’ll see.’ The tightness around her eyes told Beatrice she didn’t quite believe her own words. ‘And you’ll call me.’

‘Every day.’

With one last hug, Beatrice picked up her bags and left. 

// 7:03 //

The town car waited for her outside the apartment. It was sleek and black, washed and polished; the only evidence of the recent storms were faint specks of grey mud deep in the tyre wells.

Beatrice stopped at the bottom of the stairs, observing the car and its driver—Mister Morris, patiently stood at the kerb—and swallowed around a lump in her throat. He looked the same as when she had left. A little more silver in his hair.

He might not have changed much but she had. Now that she was grown (or perhaps, now that she was not in that household), she found herself full of questions—where was it that Mister Morris had driven from? Where did he live? Had the storms been bad on his side of town? How had he passed the time? Had they lost power? (She and Camila had huddled in their living room—it was, Camila had insisted, the perfect weather for a marathon of gory slashers—and the rain had hammered against the windows with frightening strength but had done no damage. She knew others had not been so fortunate.) Most pressing of all, how had he been? Questions that could not be answered by hiding.

Beatrice gripped the strap of her duffel and, setting her shoulders, marched to meet him.

‘Good morning, Mister Morris.’

‘Miss Turner,’ he greeted her, his smile small but true. ‘A pleasure to see you again. How are you?’

‘Quite well, thank you.’ Then, keeping her tone light and brisk, ‘And yourself?’

‘Very well, Miss Turner. Very well.’ It looked as if he wanted to say something more but then he only smiled and cleared his throat. ‘Your luggage, Miss?’

‘I can see to it myself.’

Beatrice stashed her duffel in the boot then folded herself neatly into the backseat. Mr. Morris retook the driver’s seat. For a moment, neither of them spoke. Beatrice fixed her eyes on the headrest in front of her.

‘We have another stop to make, Mr Morris.’

‘Yes, miss. Do you have the address?’

‘I do.’ She ran a finger along the inside of her watchband, rubbing away the sweat that had gathered there. She made it a notch tighter, then loosened once more. ‘They are - That is to say, she is my—’

Mr. Morris met her eyes in the rear-view mirror. His were green and kind. The kindness did not make it easier to say.

‘She is my girlfriend.’ 

‘Yes. I know.’

‘Oh.’

‘Though your mother used slightly different terminology. Companion, I believe she said.’ He kept his eyes locked onto the rearview mirror. When Beatrice glanced into it again, he said warmly, ‘Congratulations, miss. That’s wonderful. I’m very glad to hear it.’

When she had been younger, there had been a stretch of time where running away had seemed very appealing. Each time she attempted it, Beatrice had never made it further than the park four streets from her home. She’d been too pragmatic, even at ten years old, but she’d also been stubborn so Beatrice had say there in the swing until someone noticed; whomever did notice, it was always Mr. Morris who collected her. She was reminded of it as he started the engine. The sound of its growl scared old memories out of hiding—she remembered how the plastic swing creaked, the feel of the metal chain in her little hands, how the gravel of the park entry had crunched beneath the town car tyres. How the headlights had washed over her and away with the tilt of his park and how invisible she’d felt when the lights turned off. Like a ghost haunting the playground.

Beatrice stared thoughtfully at his back, remembering how he would climb out of the car and sit next to her on a too-small swing until she’d been ready to return.

‘Thank you, Mr Morris.’

He nodded. Then, ‘I do still need her address, miss.’

‘Oh. Yes, of course.’

[honeystrawberryvenus]

15 Random WL Facts

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨🍓୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

Hello! My name is Marianel, but you can call me Mari. I am dedicating my blog to reuploading whatever information I have saved to my Tiktok favorites due to the upcoming U.S. January 19th ban. I am into fashion, romance, lifestyle improvement, and anything girly, so there will be plenty of coverage on those topics. All republished material, in order to respect the creators, will contain the original post title, caption, username origin, and content. Thank you for stopping by, and I hope my archive helps in any way!

Just a disclaimer for super health-based posts-I am in no way well-versed in such subjects, much less a professional. I will do my best to fact check what I post so as to not spread misinformation. However, if the aforementioned does occur, please correct me so that I may edit 'my' error. There are outside generated revisions on less-than-solid facts.

──── ୨୧ ────

USERNAME: kiricupcakes

POST TITLE: 15 Random W eight Loss Facts

CAPTION: Tags only.

CONTENT:

Protein is useless if you avoid consuming fats in your diet. (same with vitamins) REVISION: False. Protein is essential for many bodily functions like muscle repair and immune support. It’s important to have a balanced diet with fats, but protein isn’t useless if you're avoiding fats. However, fats help with the absorption of fat-soluble vitamins (A, D, E, K), so avoiding fats can hinder this.

Make sure you consume enough protein, iron, and ESPECIALLY CALCIUM to avoid brittle teeth, hair and nails.

Too much protein and your body treats it the same as carbs. It goes to your glucose stores. REVISION: False. Excess protein isn’t directly converted into glucose the same way carbohydrates are. The body can convert excess protein into glucose via gluconeogenesis, but this process is not as efficient as the conversion of carbohydrates to glucose.

Understand your cravings and adapt to choose healthier options (guide on next 'page')

If you drink mostly diuretics (e.g. caffeine), you need more liquid in your diet.

1L of cool water burns up to 50cal by digesting it. It also helps with performance and burning calories throughout the day. REVISON: False. Drinking cold water can cause a slight increase in calorie burn due to the body needing to warm the water to body temperature. However, it's nowhere near 50 calories. The actual calorie burn is likely to be around 20-30 calories per liter, depending on individual factors.

CRAVINGS AND WHY

Chocolate - Magnesium | Greens, nuts, seeds, whole grains, beans.

Bread - Nitrogen | Obtained from dietary protein, meat, fish, eggs, nuts, grains.

Oily foods - Calcium | Spinach, kale, broccoli.

Cheese - Essential fatty acids | Walnuts, flax oil. Calcium | Broccoli, kale, spinach.

Snacks/Junk food - Unbalanced diet | Water, fruit, vegetables, proteins, fats, carbs.

Pasta - Chromium | Grapes, tomatoes, onion.

Ice - Iron | Red meats, nuts, liver.

Carbonated drinks - Calcium | Spinach, kale, broccoli.

Alcohol - Protein | Beans, meat, eggs. Calcium | Legumes, kale. Potassium | Tomato, banana. Glutamine | Bone broth, beets.

Sugary sweets - Sulfur | Garlic, kale, onion. Tryptophan | Raisins, oatmeal. Chromium | Grapes, tomato, onion. Phosphorus | Lentils, nuts, seeds.

Coffee - Sodium | Sea salt, kombucha. Sulfur | Garlic, kale, onion. Phosphorus | Beans, quinoa, nuts. Iron | Spinach, meat, figs.

Salty snacks - Chloride | Celery, olives, tomatoes. Stress hormones | Vitamins B and C.

7. Certain foods speed up metabolism (see next 'page')

8. Protein burns more calories by digestion than any other type of macro. (20-30%)

9. Protein helps maintain muscle during weight loss. And muscle burns more calories than fat.

100 CALORIES OF METABOLISM BOOSTING FOODS

Lemon (without peel)

Chilli Peppers

Caffeine (black coffee)

Matcha (powder)

Eggs

Ginger

Apple cider vinegar

Beans

Cinnamon

Water

10. 1kg of fat = ~7,000 calories

1lb of fat = ~3,5000 calories

That's how much it takes to gain/lost it.

11. A healthy deficit is up to 500 calories below your TDEE>

12. Never eat below or on your BMR. Your BMR is what you need to function at total rest. (It's what you need in a coma.)

13. After 7 days of fasting, your body is using more muscle for energy than fay. Fasting is useless at that point. REVISION: Partially true. After prolonged fasting (beyond 2-3 days), the body may start breaking down muscle for energy, although this process depends on many factors (hydration, activity level, etc.).

14. Weight training is great for fat loss! Training weights isn't going to make you bulky. It takes ages to do that and loads of training and eating. You'll notice it.

15. You may not notice results at first because your brain is used to seeing a different weight in the mirror. Ignore the mirror. Ignore the scale too (It can't tell you the difference between fat and muscle) and FOCUS ON YOUR MINDSET.

[a-book-of-creatures]

So I think I might have read 20k Leagues Etc when I was younger, but it might have been an abridged version, might have been the Wishbone version for all I recall, and in any case it was over twenty years ago. And I remember you saying that the most common translation into English messes up some parts of it. I want to de-rust my French; a) how similar is the written French of when it was written, to modern written French, and b) where can one find that to read it?

That is correct, the most popular, public domain English translation (Mercier) is poorly translated (e.g. the French word for "lens" is translated as "lentil", "dappled" becomes "diapered", etc), significantly abridged, and censored for political correctness (e.g. Nemo's framed pictures of abolitionists are excised, as is a passage where Aronnax is horrified at the exploitation of pearl divers). For more on that, Walter James Miller's The Annotated Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea is an excellent resource.

But if you want to read the original, you're in luck because it's also public domain. The language is still readable; at least, I had no issues with it. It's definitely florid but that's more on Verne than his language.

You can read the original, glorious Hetzel version here, courtesy of the Bibliothèque Nationale de France.

If you'd rather have a more physical book in hand, the Livre de Poche edition is affordable (depending on where you live I guess), portable, has all the original illustrations, and a spiffy Hetzel-esque cover to boot.

[insimniacreations]

Grocery Haul Feb 2023

REQUIRED MOD:

The 2/26/23 updated version of My Grocery Shopping List mod. Please delete the old version after updating to the latest version.

Optional

The 2/26/23 updated version of the Custom Register. Please delete the old version after updating to the latest version.

Recipes

Hearty Spaghetti with Lentils & Marinara Sauce (found in Rice & Pasta)

Strawberry Oatmeal Bars (found in Desserts)

OPTIONAL Custom Ingredients (Get the custom ingredients HERE) If you don't want to use ingredients, only download the recipes below.

Driscoll's Sweetest Batch Strawberries

Goya Lentils

Bertolli Traditional Marinara Sauce

TERMS OF USE

Please be respectful and do not release my early access content. They are only early access and will be free.

Please do not include my items in uploaded builds. Link back to my Patreon page for others to download separately

Please do not recolor, convert, and/or edit my meshes

Please do not reupload

DOWNLOAD

Now on Early Access. Public Release: 3/22 @ 8pm EST

[bowloflentils]

I'm a few days late sharing this on Tumblr, but I posted an update for the Sakura Wars 2 fan translation on behalf of the team on Twitter this week.

Here are the contents of the update for anyone that isn't on Twitter:

On behalf of the whole team, I'm sharing an update on our current progress with the Sakura Wars 2 fan translation. We've been hard at work since January, so we put together a short video showcasing our current build followed by a summary of what we've accomplished this year.

The English script for both the adventure and battle sections of SW2 have been patched into disc 1 and we're now trying to iron out bugs. We're also in the process of implementing single-byte text encoding which has remedied some of the script size issues we’ve been running into.

The translation for the ADV section was completed in 2022 and this year we finished translating the remaining text files for the “Long Day in the Theater” mode as well as the battle sections. This was a massive task as the battle scripts were divided up into over 400 small files.

In terms of editing, the ADV script has received several editing passes this year and things like minigame titles, special attack names, and battle unit labels have been finalized. Battle dialogue has also received its first editing pass and other system text has been unified.

We’ve gotten a lot done this past year but we still have a ways to go before the patch is complete. We're not sure when everything will be finished but here is a short breakdown of what still needs to be worked on:

-What is left to do- Many of the in-game menus and graphics still need to be converted into English, and solutions need to be found for several technical issues we’ve run into with our current builds. Specifically, we are experiencing quite a few bugs in the battle segments at the moment. Also, we currently only have disc 1 up and running in English. That means that the script will continue to be polished and edited as we see more of the English text for disc 2 and 3 in-game. And once everything has been implemented, we’ll still have to do an extensive amount of testing, especially since the game is three discs long compared to SW1’s two discs.

---

Thank you to everyone in the team that put in so much work this past year:

Project Lead: NoahSteam.

Programmer: TrekkiesUnite118.

Translators: MattoBii, CrouchingMouse, Natsume38.

Graphic Artist: Joqu.

Editor: Bowl of Lentils.

And all other contributors.

See you next time!

[gumi-writes]

i accidently sent your friend an ask i was gonna send you (common sense... i barely know her heart emoji) but yea the main thing i wanted to ask was if you had any more trivia about tien because wow they stir my frontal lobe like lentil soup... any idea for her routes? did you pick out a flower for her? i don't think ive seen that yet on your blog. minor trivia?

EDIT: LMAO THIS IS 1.4K WORDS LONG SO GOD HELP ME

yowza. you've done it now, anon (positive)! there's a lot under this cut but i wanted to answer everything and i'm incapable of not doing it as verbosely as possible LOL you have my apologies in advance <3

first off, i did get your previous messages passed onto me! please don't fret at all haha, at the very least, it was very flattering to be associated with them! in return, i will be very normal about about your asks and in fact only reread them a reasonable amount of times, i promise.

honestly, this entire thing was so incredibly written lmfao. you blast me with a compliment on the character design then plonk one of the most thoughtful examination of monster vs humanity alongside the discussion of nurture vs nature i've ever seen? never in all my years on tumblr has an anon ever micdropped me like that HAHA i have to at least try to return the favour!

monstrosity as something that's nurtured, or imposed, or chosen, or innate... my initial thought that it's probably a combination of everything BUT personal choice, and a part of that stems from the kind of thing survival in this world seems to demand in the first place. death is cheap, and monsters freely roam what seems to be a world on its last legs—is a choice between surviving and having the means to survive or dying really a choice at all? is it not more a matter of a forced hand or simply a cornering that you either get out of or die from? some part of it must be innate, or there'd be nothing to nurture. another portion must be imposed, because that is what happens when you have no say. most of all is the fact the threshold for violence that the world enforces on you means that you have to meet it somehow—through grit, or strength, or something.

and tiên's response was answered for her, in a sense—to become a manmade monster with little to fear but with all the ennui dogging the heels of her manufactured nigh functional invincibility, and an unbreakable leash binding her to the hand that would never give up their favourite toy. even with all her all her strength, there's a strange defeatism about her—that she cannot fight the hand that's fed her, that she would rid them of herself, but she has just enough pride to strive for the ambition of dying for something worthwhile so that at least at the very last her power might be good for something in her life.

if that makes sense. :P but i'll finish this section by letting you know that iron maiden was actually @/laymes-arts suggestion! i'm quite enamoured with it myself!

as for her route, i do actually have a lot of thoughts considering i conceptualised her as a fake love interest! i always thought it was a little interesting that we didn't get someone from the senobium as an option (vere technically doesn't count, considering he feels like an outside contractor but like one forced into that position, so to speak), so her initial role as nun was made in partial response to that!

but it was going to be a route that really toyed with the player/mc's sense of suspicion and ability to trust her even though she was their chosen character. you were going to get embroiled in a mystery of these curious corpses with no visible wounds while rumours of a serial killer lay afoot, all the while having to navigate a tenuous new relationship in the potential hope that tiên would be the key into getting into the senobium and getting the information to a blessed cure. of course, then you'd find out that she is behind these deaths, possibly during a midkill—and the thing about tiên is that she doesn't like inflicting violence on other people, not quite out of altruism but because it's a waste of her strength, so she kills them rather gently, by kissing them and then pouring her blood into their lungs and then taking it back out again after they die of what is essentially drowning. she'd then of course reveal her role as a nun to basically be just a front for her actual purpose: the senobium's favoured weapon and their enemies' biggest threat. potentially something you yourself, or rather, the mc themselves, was going to become, so it was up to you whether or not that was a dealbreaker. i also floated around the idea of tiên appearing in other character's bad endings, wherein she'd get sent after them by the senobium and well. if it's one thing i made tiên for, it was her ability to win in a fight every time HAHA

and yep! i've both picked a flower and @/laymes-art has a flower portrait in progress haha! but i gave her the foxglove! there's various reasons, but the main reasons were that:

i thought it was fun that it was an abbreviation of folk's glove, wherein folk refers to faefolk, and tiên's name means fairy in vietnamese

it's a flower used in healing but can be poisonous in large amounts, which reminded me of tiên's relationship with her blood—both a source of her strength and what is keeping her alive and functionally immortal, but also the reason behind her body's endless chronic pain and the inability to deny those that made her into what she is access to her abilities and strength, given that the other half of her halved monster's heart is with them

the flower itself kind of looks like it has blood spots on the inner petals

and i always have trivia haha, but i'll throw out a couple more here:

her blood, on it's own, is not toxic to drink. the problem is, however, that it is incredibly emphatic to it's owner, and because of tiên's facial blindness and complete lack of social skills or experience, most people are simply foreign, faceless entities to her. as a result, her blood treats them as it would any foreign intruder in her body—much like it would purge any toxin or alcohol, it will attempt to to the same to any person that tiên has no pre-existing relationship with. which, given that that's a large portion of the population, the senobium are fond of drawing blood from her and utilising it both as a method of torture AND a potential avenue of experimentation, should they luck out and manage to make another tiên.

when her blood is ingested, she forms temporary, one way psychic connections with people where she can feel how they're feeling. given that her own emotions are very muted, this is honestly her only opportunity to connect with any kind of humanity, though this does mean that she's felt every death that has had her blood in someone. if you are a repeat drinker (somehow), tiên will instinctively always know where you are, which does help override her facial blindness to some extent.

tiên's method of differentiating between people is very simplistic: either you're the people who made her into who she is now, or you're not. as a result, she has alarmingly low standards of how she's treated—so long as you do not torture her extensively or force her to kill, you'll be on fine terms with her. that being said, this trait is offset by both strength and unflappability—at the very least, it's very hard to bully someone that does not react.

more fun little facts: given blood's role in regulating the body's temperature, tiên has perfect control over how hot or cool she is + she smells very sweet but with a tinge of iron, like bloodied honey + she has absolutely no social skills and only gets away with it because she barely initiates conversation + she genuinely thinks she's forgettable because almost no one approaches her + she has a garden in the ruins in an abandoned church, where all the flowers have grown after being watered by her blood

phew! okay! i have. a lot more honestly, but this is looking worrying long LMAO. thank you if you've gotten this far, but even if you skimmed it, i appreciated the opportunity to write all this out HAHA, it was mostly just sitting in my head anyway.

either way anon... it's insane to think that my oc could have this kind of impact on someone else, so like i hope my response showcased my thanks and gratitude at least a little bit??? HAHA at the very least, i'll be thinking about your ask and mining it for serotonin for like the next long while!

[jokeringcutio]

Masterlist

[Edit: MASTERLIST IN THIS POST!! New stories always appear at the top of their category. I know, it's messy, will rearrange it someday.]

GIF van valcazaara

The Black Phone (2022) Albert Shaw / The Grabber: Stories: *~* The Chance to make a Change (Grabber x Reader) When you end up in front of the Grabber’s house, you decide to take matters into your own hands and stop Albert Shaw from kidnapping and murdering these innocent boys like he does in the movie. You have good intentions. But will you succeed? (Rating Explicit, Lots of warnings and tags such as odler man/younger woman, age difference, size difference, rape/noncon, violence, dead dove: do not eat, kidnapping, stockholm syndrome, daddy kink, major character death, etc) *~* The Gift (Grabber x Reader) Your curiosity got the better of you (Mature, though not overtly explicit, kidnapping, older man/younger woman). *~* A Gift for his Gift - Albert Shaw / The Grabber x Reader Insert [ WARNINGS ] (Explicit, Dub/noncon elements/can be seen as a continuation of 'the gift'). Drabble: *~* A warm spring day in the garden with your family (implied kidnapping) * ~* You're kidnapped and have insomnia (Smut), Explicit, Non-con warning. *~* You're kidnapped and have amnesia [ Part 1 ], Mature. [ Part 2 ] *~* You're his new neighbor and meet him when Samson enters your garden. Sweet, light drabble, bit of flirting, Rating: Teen. *~* The Grabber returns for you after you escaped him. Modern AU. Mature. Imagine: *~* Albert Shaw x (Teacher afab) Reader - Search Party

Crossovers: Black Phone & Joker

Drabbles:

The Magician - Reader and Arthur go to see a show, but the Magician is getting a bit too friendly. Rating: PG13, no real warnings except jealousy and possessive men.

Moon Knight (Series 2022) Arthur Harrow: Fics: *~* Harrowing Love - Rating Explicit. Asylum Patient Harrow has to make a child with reader so Ammit's powers can escape. Excuse for loads of smut. Starts darkish with noncon, quickly transcends into consensual, fluff and romance. Strangers to Lovers. *~* HIS - Dr. Harrow x (F) Reader - Rating Mature. (You suffer from Amnesia and have forgotten that Doctor Harrow is actually your husband. Or have you? Dark twist. Warnings: Amnesia, Allusions to Smut, Mature themes, dub-con,betrayal, Jake Lockley x Reader mentioned.) * ~~ Prompt Fill: Cleopatra and the Cult Leader (Rating Teen: Arthur Harrow x Reader (You dress up for a party like Cleopatra. Arthur Harrow’s there, and he’s intrigued.) *~* Prompt Fill: Arhur Harrow x Reader | Lockley's Brilliant Plan (They thought a little student like you wouldn’t raise suspicion. They were wrong. Explicit, Smut, dubcon/noncon/reader is a spy for Lockley). Imagines: *~* Arthur Harrow x Amnesic Reader waking up (Rating T, Sweet tale ) *~* Imagine Prompt: Arthur Harrow visits his mother (Rating: T? Reader insert, mentioning of relationship, pregnancy, and other fam related things). *~* I'm the only one (Harrow x another fem. Harrow x Reader (unrequited?) Arthur Harrow wants something from you that he usually gets from another follower. You had claimed you would do anything to save his life, but you would not do that. *~* Happy Valentine's Day (Reader receives a rose. General rating, gender neutral reader) Includes edited image. *~* Imagine prompt: Arthur Harrow x Reader | Kaiserschmarrn (You visit Austria with your parents, M? Not explicit, but with a dark twist) *~*Imagine Prompt: Arthur Harrow x Reader (Reader resurrects Ammit scenario) Drabbles: *~* Arthur Harrow x Driver! Reader : Driver confesses she is in love with him. Rating: Teen, sweet drabble. *~* Arthur Harrow x Reader & Daughter: Seashells on the beach: Rating:General, Family/Fluff/Sweet Drabble *~* Arthur Harrow X Assassin Reader : Lentil Soup : Dark but decent version, Rating: Teen. *~* Arthur Harrow x Amnesic (Fem) Reader (His Wife) Sweet version *~* Arthur Harrow visits his mother (Reader insert) HeadCanons: *~*HC: Arthur Harrow & His Mom Headcannon. *~* Arthur Harrow giving Reader Pet Names

GIF van mae-martin

Enola Holmes(2020): *~*Pine Cone Child : Enola/Sherlock Holmes, Enola/Linthorn (Mature, Read Warnings on AO3, currently on hold ) Pine Cone Child is a mature rated fanfic, mostly about Enola and her brother Sherlock pretending to be a married couple (his suggestion) to save Enola’s reputation and raise her child together. With angst, mature themes (check the warnings and the tags) light-hearted banter and lots of misunderstandings.

GIF van vanveronicango

Joker (2019) Arthur Fleck/Joker: Stories: *~*The Man Who Claimed To Be Yours - JokeringCutio (Breakingthestandards) - Joker (2019) [Archive of Our Own] (Arthur Fleck x Reader : You are Sophie’s hired babysitter, taking care of Gigi the best you can, when suddenly one day, Sophie’s neighbour is standing in the apartment. Explicit! Dark Themes. See all Warnings on AO3!) *~*The Princess and the Clown - JokeringCutio (Breakingthestandards) - Joker (2019) [Archive of Our Own] → You are a princess at a charity and Arthur is a clown. When you say something kind to him, he becomes obsessed with you. [ Modern Day AU. Mature. *~* No Family Man [ Chapter 1 |  Chapter 2]  On AO3 - Finished. Summary: You met Arthur when you were just in high school, but by the time you got into university, you knew you’d fallen for him. But then, when your parents moved, you lost him. Little did you know he would return for you. And to give you that baby you once said you wanted. Warnings: Dubcon, Kidnapping, Stockholm Syndrome? Daddy Kink, Older man x younger woman. 

Ficlets: ~*~ Savior Fill: I Need You (Reader Rescues Arthur from the boys who attack him, Joker returns the favor later on). A second fill, different to the one below this. ~ * ~ Savior Fill: I can handle myself (Reader rescues Arthur from the boys who attack him, Joker returns the favor by rescuing the reader later on). Warnings: (Mature for safety due to themes) Violence, (attempted) sexual assault, Crude Language, Clown beating, Blood, Murder. Drabbles:

Pregnant with Arthur's baby, there are complications (Angst)

You Meet Arthur in London years after leaving him without a word

Arthur sees Reader interact with their child

At the Movies- Reader goes to watch Joker again in Cinema and encounters him.

Arthur touching Himself on the phone - While speaking to reader, based on gif. (NSFW)

Arthur finds out that you are pregnant with his child

Continuation of Arthur finding reader is pregnant

Arthur with a chubbier/curvy S/O who is really soft

Reader makes Arthur cum in his pants and he calls them mommy

Prompt Fills: *~* NSFW ALPHABET for Arthur & Joker - Mature audiences only. Christmas Visit - JokeringCutio (Breakingthestandards) - Joker (2019) [Archive of Our Own] → { THIS FIC SOMEHOW IS LOST?? } Imagines: *~* Reader's Gary's friend and Arthur's Blind Date Imagine HeadCanons: *~* Arthur/Joker Love Language *~* Arthur/Joker at seeing their s/o injured in hospital *~* Arthur/Joker Pleasure with Younger Reader *~* Arthur/Joker Headcanons with a younger reader *~*Arthur/Joker Headcanons for Kissing *~* Arthur/Joker Headcanons for when S/O has been kidnapped *~* Arthur/Joker Headcanons on Flirting. *~* Arthur asking Reader’s parents if he can marry you *~* Turn ons and offs for Arthur/Joker *~* HC about how Arthur and Joker would like to receive and express affection  *~* Jealousy HC for Arthur & Joker *~* Arthur/Joker x Reader, Age Difference. How it Affects Readers View of him, baby talk  (= First chapter of No Family Man) *~*On the Mental Instability of Arthur Fleck: Could you live happily ever after with him? [ An essay on a serious note] Prompt idea: *~*Prompt idea: reader is a student visiting Arkham Asylum  *~*Prompt idea: With 3 pictures *~*Prompt idea: Father went to get cigarettes

Once Upon A Time: Mr. Gold/Rumplestiltskin Ficlet: ~ *~ Mr. Gold/Rumplestiltskin x Reader (18+ Age difference, Older Man/Younger Woman, Dub-con, loss of virginity, jealousy, boinking your best friend’s dad.)

Peter Pan/Hook & Related Fandoms: Captain James Hook (Any version unless specified): Headcanons: ~*~ Captain Hook's reaction to a S/O being really affectionate and having anxiety?

House of a 1000 Corpses/Devil's Rejects / 3 From Hell Drabble/Ficlet:

~*~ Otis B. Driftwood x (f) Reader "Migraine", Warnings: 18+, Menstruation/Period Kink, Dub-con, Reader has migraine, smut. ~*~ Otis B. Driftwood x (f) Reader "Third Time's a Charm", Warnings 18+, breeding kink/pregnancy/murder etc., Can be read as a continuation of the drabble below this one: How reader is rescued, eventually, by the police. But not before having kids with Otis. ~*~Otis B. Driftwood x (f) Reader, Modern Au, WARNINGS: 18+ due to themes. Otis and Baby take you to the hospital. You hope to find a means to escape your captors, but you discover something more. ~*~Otis B. Driftwood x (f) Reader, Modern Au. WARNINGS: 18+/Noncon/Murder etc. You met him online in a game, and now you regret it.

GIF van hiddleston-daily

Crimson Peak (2015) Headcanons: Headcanons for Alan with a sister

GIF van clintfbarton

Game Of Thrones (TV): Arya x Jaqen Imagine/Short story A Girl Named Arya

Doctor Who (TV) 12 Doctor x Clara Oswin Oswald Pride and Prejudice Prompt Fill (discontinued)

[clatterbane]

Currently trying to turn out my own gluten free take on this, using that oat ”rice” instead of the barley.

With the different cooking times and all, I am adjusting the method a little to what sounds about right. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ The oat stuff is par-steamed, and needs about the same cooking time as white rice. So, using my judgment from experience, I'm giving the lentils 15 minutes and then planning to add in the oats to simmer with them for another 20. Haven't quite decided with the veggies yet. May indeed only give them 10 as suggested, though that's more steps. Don't want totally disintegrating cauliflower, though.

But, this sorta reminded me of one split pea and brown rice pilaf that I made occasionally in college, and had pretty much forgotten about. The peas are usually cooked mushier too for soup, but it worked surprisingly well in a pilaf if you got the timing and liquid balance right. (Will I on this? We'll see!)

Being the person I am, of course I also had to tinker with the seasonings a little to bring it more in line with what I remember of that other dish. It would probably be fine as written, and I have no clue how this will work out.

To have on the side:

Yep, just more super simple foil pouch salmon, straight from frozen. This just got some lemon pepper seasoning, extra salt, butter, and a little granulated garlic.

I'm on my own again this weekend, so I made half a batch of the pilaf. Will probably have some and one of the pieces of fish to eat tomorrow.

[awesomehoggirl]

TO DO LIST. Will i stay on track

- give my room a surface level tidy then go shower NEOWWW

- put on clothes and update my notion

- blow dry my hair while doing a final read thru of my gay little script

- breakkie. its toast girls were shaking it up today (i need to use my sourdough)

- last edits, last read through, get all freaky and perfectionist, submit

- NO TIME TO WALLOW IN FEAR! makeup ON!!! tunes ON!!! going to CAMPUS to meet group and work on next assignment. also packing a lunchy lunch

- when i am done with that i am gonna go to aldi and get some bits i need from there which are not sold at tesco express. namely shrimp and frozen fruit and my fav lentils and probably something for dinner bc i deserve a little treat for submitting

- come home and start packing and preparing for a VERY!!!!!! exciting day tomorrow xxx

- dinner and in bed before 10:30. she needs an early night

[drowning-rat37]

☆Different type of food haul~drawer edition part 3☆

Contents-

☆ 2X salted lentil chips

☆ 1X pack tirma frutas sugar free

☆ 50X sugar free lollies

☆ 4X bebe petit beurre

☆ 6X monster ultra white

☆ 9X 70kcal “crispy mallow” (plus another pack)

☆ 2X oreo white protein bars