#edit 2/ it's like halfway to 2 am.. i'm too tired to do anything but not doing anything is making me do even more nothing bcs Stress

[seokjinsonlyone]

if one of the members hit u up on social media somehow n y’all get serious, would u drop everything and move to korea to be with them?

without a moment of hesitation as soon as they say "do u want -" i'm already 6 hours into the plane ride like for any member the answer is yes i'm madly in love wit da whole crew but now i wanna play this scenario out

also i'm doing this under the assumption that this is post enlistment like i'm not moving to korea just for my man to be gone for 2 years 😭 like i'd wait for them no DOUBT but i'll wait in america with my family in the comfort of my own home 😌

okay so for jk i'd move but we could NOT live together like we got to learn to love each other in person bc lemme tell u he'd piss me off and i'd annoy him so bad if we lived together off the jump like i have a morning job so being up at 1-5 in the morning singing and cooking and is not the move and then look i'm a fan of ambience i am but a bad bith got depression i got to have the lights on or else i'd never do anything skskksdk so since i'd be living alone i'd def need to have a job so idk what energy i'd have left for him LOL like it'd require a lot of adjustments on both our parts bc we is both weird and oddly particular all in all either he'd have to love me a whole lot to make us work or i think the sex would keep us together for a good 3-4 months before he realizes it's not worth it but i would stay in korea for at least a year like i could nOt show my face back in america any sooner than that. (side note: i think if i let him provide for me we'd be super compatible tbh but then we'd be more like besties instead of bf gf) approximate success rate: 46%

oh lawd wit tae i'd have to battle with the dog like i think we could live together but me and tannie would be mortal enemies he’d be my sworn nemesis like straight up dr doofenshmirtz and perry the platypus the way we’d be at each other’s throats bc all he gotta do is turn his neck backwards and hit me wit dat judgmental glare one time and i’m ready to square up but tae seems like the type fall in love very hard so if he’s asking me to move to korea for him he’s willing to make it work and frfr all i gotta do is take yeontan out on a walk one good time he gon get tired bout halfway through and then look for me to hold him and that'll settle most of our differences we may not be best friends but we'll have come to an understanding then all that's left to do is work on tae like get him to get the dog off his mouth off the table and out the kitchen and it's smooth sailing fr i feel like he'd alternate between being super clingy and kinda distant which would be a little frustrating a little irritating but we could cope like if we could just get through that adjustment period it'd be fine. approximate success rate: 72%

if i was with joonie i think the most source of contention would be over decoration like y'all know me and u know them ugly little couch pillows would have to be the first thing to go LOL but after that like okay i wouldn't try to take over but i would just need a space for me that feels like my own that i belong there not just be amongst one of his hyperfixations y'know? like he just has so much art in his place we would need to edit it down so i wouldn't feel like i'm constantly living in an exhibition paint the walls get some more plants bring some life into the place but other than that i think me and joonie would get along really well like we would probably nag at each other about little habits that irritate us but i can't foresee anything being too serious approximate success rate: 84%

hobi's another one i feel like i couldn't live with immediately LOL like i would 100% irk his nerves jfslsls he'd be nagging me to put my clothes in the hamper, put them away, stop leaving stuff around, etc. bc like i'm soooo good at keeping common areas clean not a problem but my room? i'm just always in such a mad dash to get to the bed that i just be leaving stuff anywhere be rushing like my bed gon get up and run away if i'm not in it within 30 seconds of entering the room so it do be junky and also i'm a go with the flow person and imma be ready to take a nap and hobi gonna pop up with some furniture polish and a swiffer talking about it's dusting day and imma lose it like we just need some time before we take that step sklfksd but other than that our relationship would be perfect?? like he's end game for sure we would eventually move in together and live happily after approximate success rate: 87%

my precious baby seokjin lawd i love and miss him so much need him expeditiously oh god missing seokjin hours just hit bc i'm thinking about how perfect he would be for me 😭 like moving in general is a lot but moving to a whole nother country is something else entirely and i think he'd just be so kind and thoughtful about the whole thing like i feel like he'd already have me a room in his place cleared out??? and would just give me a whole lot of space to just exist like helping me unpack and decorate however i like however long it takes not crowding around me when i'm overwhelmed letting me invade his space when i'm feeling clingy cooking me meals like he just seems like he'd try his very very best to make sure i'm comfortable and having fun the entire time like i'm sorry this is just my man and we're meant to be <333 approximate success rate: 95%

jimin is so caring and so sweet and i love that about him but that might be the thing that drive me up the wall like his care might just be a little overbearing for me and like i’d be his girl he tryna make sure i’m straight but if i say i’m good i’m good even if i’m not like imma need a minute and he not gonna wanna give it to me gonna wanna talk about everything all the time but imma need time to process everything before talking about anything and he might not get that at first so there would be some tension but after we’re able to align my introversion with his extroversion everything would be great and i think he’d accept my mess and i’d accept his and then we would get tired of being messy and push each other to be better i also can see a lot of cuddling and watching youtube on tv approximate success rate: 78%

finally there’s yoongi my twin flame <333 with him we'd probably already have a discussion about living together simply bc it's more convenient and economical to do so but the relationship...... it's like we might as well have not met online LOL like it'll be soooo awkward at first like it's gon take 3-4 weeks to really warm up to each other in person like he'll cook me breakfast and then when i sit down to eat with him he just not gonna look me in the eyes and i'll just be trying my best to be quiet and out of the way trying not to be seen or heard so he won't throw me away and then literally just one day it'll click we'll be like what are we doing and why and then all of a sudden we kissing cuddling he's taking me to his studio arm wrapped around my waist like we gonna go from being acquaintances to having old married couple vibes overnight and honestly i'm here for that comfort and familiarity the only thing i can see being a problem is that ion like to initiate conflict like if u start it imma finish but i ain't throwing the first punch but he seems to be more mature than me in that aspect so as long as he helps me to keep a line of communication open i can't see a reason why we would ever break up approximate success rate: 93%

sorry for using ur question as a catalyst for my delusion

[starcrossedjedis]

If this is against your rules or too much, feel free to ignore, but I struggle so hard with like manips particularly gifs, do you have any tips or recs? And how to be confident in your own work

Oh my, don't worry at ALL! ❤

I have only two rules for my blog and that's #1 Don't Be An Ass and #2 If you're too young to engage with certain things on my blog, then don't - and people continously ignore #1 and I'm still here 😄

Tbh, I am not sure if I am the best person to give advice on how to do anything, because most of what I do is the result of like two decades worth of trial and error 😅

But I'll try! At least for me, it boils down to two main tings.

#1 Scene Selection

The first step is to find scenes/clips/gifs that look like they might belong together fr. If the clips flow together nicely, you're halfway there. I don't even wanna talk about how much of my editing process is just squinting at gifs and wondering if they are seamless enough. Here's an example (and a little Sneaky Peeky at a future gifset for Alyse) where I combined clips from HotD, Last Kingdom and Legend of the Sword:

(and as I look at it NOW I realize that I need to switch their respective sequences so it looks like he sees the dragon THEN watches her being taken away to safety - IT'S ALL IN THE SQUINTING)

#2 Colour

Now I KNOW this is easier said than done, but it really makes a world of difference, if you don't have one half of your gif be yellow and the other be blue ^^'

The easiest way ofc is to use clips that are already close in colour, so that the overall editing process is pretty much the same on the overall gif.

But more often than not, if you want a seamless gif, you will have to colour correct one part to match the other. Like so-

And if you're like me - old, tired and member of the "Ain't Nobody Got Time For That" tribe, you find colourings that affect a lot of base colorings in a very similar way (it won't fix big differences in the base colours, but for the most part you can get away with basic adjustments like matching the lighting and vibrance).

Can't say I'm too proud to admit it, but I do that a lot these days - not only out of lazyness, but also because I like how it looks -

I fear that I cannot help you with the "being confident in your own work" part though, because most of the time I am still in the "Faking" part of "Fake It till you Make It" 😄

I hope I could help you a little bit ❤

[hot-wiings]

The One Where Denki And Mina Think Katsuki Needs To Be A Softer, Nicer Boyfriend, And An Insecure Katsuki Agrees, But [Y/N] [L/N] Doesn't Want A Nicer Boyfriend, She Wants Him.

Requested By: @spicyhokage

Edited: 1-6-2021

It was late when Katsuki came in through class 2-A's dormitory doors. Being his second year at UA the school was allowing students to go back into student internships. With Best Jeanist still off the streets, Katsuki wound up interning with Fatgum, using the link between Eijirou and him to get in. Katsuki hadn't expected to be out for so long, there had been a bad villain that showed up at a different agency and it was a perfect match for both his and Fatgum's abilities. Fatgum had allowed Katsuki to work on it with him, nevermind the fact that Katsuki had already planned a study date for your upcoming test Monday, he jumped at the chance to work with the heroes.

Katsuki knew, or at least he hoped, that you wouldn't be that mad or upset at him for ditching you at the very last minute. It was a leg up in the hero industry, it was a helping hand, he could make more connections and improve his skills. As a student hero, you should know how important this is. He'd want you to make the same choice if it was reversed.

Despite abandoning your date, Katsuki wasn't heartless. He bought a bouquet of hydrangeas as an apology. Apologies weren't something he was good at, but he hoped you would accept it. Katsuki was hoping you would be up waiting for him in the dormitory lounge when he came back, but he knew that one was a longshot. He'd rather have you in bed resting, or making up for the studying he promised to help with but hadn't. Katsuki was hoping he'd find you in the dormitory lounge waiting for him, but instead, he found two of his peers.

"You were out awfully late, weren't you?"

"Shut it, pink face. I need to go see [Y/N] and then head to bed, like a smart student. You and dunce face do realize that we have a big test Monday, don't you?"

Katsuki marched right past Mina and Denki, who were sitting on the couch, towards the elevator to get up to your dorm. If he was right, Mr. Aizawa would be asleep by this hour, and getting into your dorm would be no issue. Katsuki stopped walking towards the elevator when he hears Minas' voice speak out again.

"Did you really get hydrangeas for her? You ditched her for your internship and you got hydrangeas? Girls like roses Katsuki. If a guy ever brought me hydrangeas, I'd kick his butt to the door. Queens deserve better."

"What the fuck are you implying raccoon eyes?"

Katsuki turned back around to yell at Mina for implying that he wasn't good enough for you. He nearly crumpled the flowers by clenching his hand. Mina didn't know what she was talking about. He had brought you hydrangeas several times before, you never complained about it. Denki spoke up to try and intervene Katsuki from blowing up on Mina.

"I think what Mina meant to say is that we're just worried for you. You really like [Y/N], right? Take it from a guy who gets dumped by girls a lot. Pretty girls like [Y/N] don't need to sit around waiting for guys like us. While you're trying to further your career you're ditching her, not to mention, when is the last time you showed her affection?"

"For starters, dunce face, don't call my girlfriend pretty. Secondly, there are no guys like us and girls like [Y/N], there's me, her, and all of you fucking extras that need to get out of my relationship."

"Fine, don't take our advice. Just so you know, [Y/N] isn't in her dorm, she's in the kitchen."

Mina practically sings her words out, and Katsuki changes his course of route from the elevator to the kitchen. He had a scowl on his face the entire time, courtesy of Mina and Denki. He had to restrain himself from beating them with the bouquet. Katsuki reached the kitchen door and he took a minute to recompose himself from his previous anger to a calmer version of himself. He pushed the door open with a calmer smile on his face but stops after opening it halfway.

"What's the answer to number two?"

"Uhm... 6?"

"That's right! Here's your reward."

Katsuki clenched his fist, practically ruining the flowers. He ditched you and your study date, he shouldn't be getting so mad at seeing you and Deku study together. You can have friends other than him. You can be around members of the male gender other than him. Even if it is shitty Deku. You're allowed to have a life outside of Katsuki, but as Deku broke apart a cookie and threw it right into your mouth, a sweet reward for getting the question right, he was ready to toss hands with the boy.

"We're gonna ace this test Monday. Thanks for studying with me Deku. I hate studying alone and you're great at math. Usually, Katsuki helps me, but he got busy."

"It's no problem, [Y/N]. Seriously, I'm always here if you need me."

Katsuki quietly pulled the door shut instead of going in and interrupting you and dumb Deku. Maybe Mina was right. Katsuki thought about it more as he walked back to Mina and Denki. He didn't really show you affection that much, and he did spend a lot of time in the gym or at his internship. His idea of a date was training together or studying. You probably hated the flowers but chose not to speak on it. If he didn't change, change now and fast he was going to lose you to that shit-munch. He needed to show you he was the better more deserving man. As Katsuki stared at Mina and Denki he uttered the words he never wanted to say to them.

"I want your fuckin' help."

"Bring [Y/N] roses. Girls love roses. Not a daffodil, not baby's breath, not a tulip. Roses."

Roses were Mina's first piece of advice to Katsuki. According to her, girls only cared about getting roses, and every other flower was inferior. She also said apology flowers must be paired with chocolates. Katsuki personally thought that was bullshit. He had been bringing you different breeds of flowers throughout your entire relationship and never once had you vocalized disdain for it. But Mina is a girl unlike him, so she must have had some kind of special insight. You must have just not wanted to make him feel bad for messing up. Katsuki knew he was inexperienced in the dating area, but he hadn't realized he was screwing up so badly.

Katsuki did exactly what Mina said. Saturday afternoon, Katsuki showed up at your dorm with a bouquet of yellow roses and a box of chocolates, the milk chocolate kind. According to Mina, milk chocolate was better than dark chocolate. He knocked on the door after checking his phone for the time. He knew you didn't like getting up early on the weekend, and you had been up late studying the night before. Twelve-thirty seemed like a reasonable time to stop by.

You opened the door, slippers on your feet, eyes barely opened, and a crinkled forehead as you tried to slightly open them to see who you were staring at. You had a pair of shorts on and one of Katsuki's sweatshirts. One you promised you hadn't seen and swore he must've lost in the dorms laundry facility. Katsuki smiled down at your sleepy form, you were adorable. Once you registered who it was you yawned and crossed your arms as you lazily leaned against the door frame and let a small smile cross your face.

"What're you doing here? You were out so late last night, you must be exhausted."

"I could say the same about you, you look like the epitome of tired. How late were you up?"

"No later than two. When did you get in?"

Katsuki didn't want to tell you he came in at midnight. You would've asked him why he didn't come to see you, and he didn't want to say that he saw you and Deku studying together. He didn't want to admit that he felt pained at seeing you together so close. Pained at you needing and using Deku as you would him. Katsuki held up the roses and chocolates and thrust them into your arms.

"I didn't even check the time. I brought you apology flowers and chocolate for ditching you. They're roses!"

"O-Oh, they're yellow."

You took the items he thrust into your arms and moved further into your dorm so he could come in. You set the chocolate down on the bed but kept observing the flowers. Katsuki was quite proud of the flowers he picked out. They were pretty and blooming, and he thought you'd like them. Yellow roses would look good in your dorm room. You, on the other hand, were not ecstatic with the flowers. You bit your lip and tried to make your smile bigger. Did he know what yellow roses symbolized? He had to of known, even Denki would know something this simple. Maybe you were reading into it too much, they're just flowers. It was a gift, not a death sentence to your relationship.

"I'll have to go to the kitchen and see if there's anything I can put them in."

Katsuki could sense you being standoffish. He assumed you were upset at him for ditching you the previous night. He did the flowers right, he would just have to go the extra mile to make you happy with him by serving your needs.

"I can go to the kitchen and find a vase! You just shower or get dressed, or whatever, and I'll even bring you up some lunch."

"You don't have to do that. I can get dressed and do it myself."

"I don't have to do it, I want to do it."

Katsuki cupped your cheeks and pressed a quick kiss against your lips. They were soft and sweet. Katsuki could taste the residue sugar from the cookies you had been eating the night before and he pulled back with a frown, making you frown just as much. He wasn't mad that you didn't brush your teeth, although you should have. He was upset at the reminder that Deku was with you when you were supposed to be having a study date. He was upset that Deku was the one who stayed up with you until two in the morning. He was upset that Deku was acting like a better boyfriend when he was just your friend and nothing more. Katsuki should've been doing more, he should've been doing a better job.

"I really am sorry for ditching you yesterday. If you want, we can redo the date today."

"I really missed you yesterday. I did some cramming with Deku, but I don't think he's as good of a teacher as you are."

"Of course dumb Deku isn't as good as me. I'll grab my books before I come back, we'll have a nice do-over date."

Hearing you say that Izuku wasn't as good as him made him feel good. It was slightly reassuring to Katsuki, yet he couldn't stop this budding feeling every time he thought about you and Izuku studying last night.  

"Buy her something nice. Something nice like jewelry. I always see you buying her practical stuff, that's boring. Girls like pretty shiny gifts from their boyfriends."

Mina's second piece of advice had been to buy you some jewelry. According to Mina jewelry was an acceptable gift for a boyfriend to buy his girlfriend. Katsuki had been buying you practical and weird gifts throughout your relationship. He thought they were good, he thought they were sweet and enjoyable. He supposed he was wrong. With every piece of advice from Mina, Katsuki was getting punched in the gut. He thought he was treating you right, he thought he was doing this whole relationship thing right, but he wasn't. If he didn't fix things fast then dumb Deku would steal you away from him.  

Katsuki felt inside of his pocket for the necklace he bought you. He had Mina help him pick it out that morning. It had been sitting there in a pretty little black box with a red bow waiting to be opened. He wanted to give it to you when he gave you the flowers, but he didn't want you to view it as an apology gift, he wanted it to be viewed as a sweet, 'I was thinking of you', gift.

By the time Katsuki had gotten back to your dorm room, you were all showered and dressed in fresh clothes. You were wearing comfortable clothes, and Katsuki had to smile again. You looked simply perfect. With your hair pushed back by a headband, sweatpants, and another one of his sweaters which you practically swam in, you looked angelic to him. Katsuki put a bag containing your lunch on the small table you had in your room, he placed the vase containing your new flowers there too before pulling out your lunch. You grabbed his book bag from him with a smile and began to pull his books out and place them alongside yours in a neatly organized fashion to create a nice study space.

"What'd you find for lunch?"

"There wasn't much in the fridge to quickly grab, so I made some curry."

"I love it when you cook. It always tastes good."

You smiled at Katsuki and placed a quick peck against his cheek before taking a seat next to him. His chest swelled with pride as he watched you freely dig into the container of food. You liked his cooking, and as he watched you feast in it he knew you weren't lying. At least he did one thing right on his own. One more wrong thing and he was sure he was going to blow a casket.

"Aren't you gonna eat?"

You stared at him with half-lidded eyes and spoke with your mouth half full, barely pronouncing your words but Katsuki still knew what you were saying. He stopped staring at you and began working on his own dish. Every once and a while Katsuki noticed your eyes go from your food to his face and then to the flowers before diving back to the food. He supposed you really liked them. It felt good knowing he was doing it right. It felt good knowing you were happy and content with him for the moment.

You wiped your face off and just as you were about to clean up your lunch mess Katsuki jumped up and took care of it. He grabbed your lunch containers and closed them before tossing them back into the bag he brought them in. He took a wet wipe and wiped up your table and then proceeded to toss the dirty wipe in the trash bin.

"Ready to study?"

"Yup! You're a really good teacher, I really look forward to our study dates."

You walked over to your bed and took a seat on the ground whereas Katsuki laid across your bed in a position where he could have a book out and also easily look over the edge to see what you were doing. This was how you always did your study dates. Katsuki would work and watch to see if you were slacking off, then you would switch books and quiz each other. Slowly the clock clicked away, each passing second made Katsuki grow antsy. He wanted to give you the stupid neckless he had inside his pocket. Katsuki huffed as he slammed his book shut and pushed it off of the bed. You craned your neck back to see what Kastuki was doing before narrowing your eyes, no way did he think he could stop studying while he made you work.

"What are you doing? Are you studying up there?"

"No, c'mere."

You huffed as you pulled yourself up off of the floor and crawled onto the bed next to Katsuki. A mixture of blankets and skin touched you as he wrapped his arms around your body and pulled you so your back was flush against his chest. He let his head rest inside your neck, and you struggled to pull out of his grip.

"What are you doing? We're supposed to be studying."

"I don't wanna study right now. The test is Monday, we can still study tomorrow."

You bit your lip as you contemplated his offer. He had a point. The test was Monday morning, and it was only Saturday, not to mention that you had studied with Deku yesterday. The offer was just so out of character for Katsuki, part of you wondered if it was a trick and thought he was going to pull out a piece of rolled-up newspaper to hit you with like he did for Eijirou. You let yourself sink into his arms, you had been up to this for a while, you deserved a break.

"Okay, but only a small break. got it?"

"Mm. I got you something."

Katsuki pulled away from your body to dig in his pocket and pull out the small black box. You rolled over so you could face him and your gift with a growing smile on your face. You loved Katsuki's gifts. Whether it was intentional or not, he always got you something you needed. Whether it was you complaining about cold hands or your lack of working pens, the next day you would find gloves and a pack of pens with a note from him saying something stupid, like 'You better use these to take your shitty notes' and 'If you get arthritis in your hands you can't become a hero'. It was always a surprise and a delight. Katsuki handed over the box and you tore the bow off before opening it.

"It's a necklace!"

"Oh, it's very cute."

You tried not to frown as you looked over the necklace. You tried you're best to put a beaming smile on your face. It was still a gift and you needed to show your gratitude. It wasn't as conventional as your other gifts, but it was still pretty. Maybe it had a special meaning? Maybe he saw it and thought of you? It was just so unusual. He never bought you jewelry and the style was obviously not his.

"Did you pick it out yourself?"

You tried not to make it sound like you were fishing for an explanation as you smiled and clasped it around your neck to show how much you 'loved' it. Katsuki contemplated telling you he picked it out himself but seeing as you were friends with Mina he wasn't sure what she'd say and he didn't want to look bad.

"Well, I got a little help. Figured a female's perspective wouldn't hurt."

Suddenly you felt sick to your stomach. Not only had he given you a necklace, an unconventional and unusual gift compared to the ones he usually gave, but he let a girl pick it out. There was no special meaning, it was just pretty. Your mind went back to the flowers. The yellow roses. He bought you yellow roses. Your whole relationship he brought different breeds and types, never roses. Especially not yellow, the color that represented friendship.

"Thank you, I love it!"

You wrapped your arms around Katsuki, bringing him into a big, tight hug. Although you were with him physically, mentally you were in other places. That dark place in the back of your head was telling you why he gave you these offhanded weird gifts. The dark place in the back of your head was filling you with untrue silly thoughts, yet you couldn't help but let your head entertain them and wonder. The more you wondered, the more you wanted to rip your neckless off.

mina

Pop music could be heard blaring loudly from a BlueTooth speaker connected to Mina's phone as you walked into her dorm room. Without knocking you barged right in, Mina supposed there really was a reason you and Katsuki were together. You were both bluntly rude and sometimes you didn't even realize it. You flopped down at the foot of her bed and looked up at her before greeting your pink friend.

"Hey."

"Hi."

Mina didn't look up from what she was doing, she continued flicking through the pages of some fashion-forward girly magazine as she replied to you. You ran your fingers through her soft duvet as you looked around her dorm room. It looked like Claires threw up on the walls and it gave you a major headache. You and Mina had two different style sets, two sets of style very far apart.

"Did you study for the test tomorrow?"

Unlike her room, that was a subject that would give Mina a headache. Mina roughly flipped another page of the magazine she was holding as she let out an exhausted breath.

"No, and before you scold me neither did Denki. I swear Katsuki is rubbing off on you."

At the sound of his name, your hand went up and touched the necklace he got for you. You only wore it in case you saw Katsuki today, you planned to wear it for the next two weeks, then you'd pretend you lost it. You weren't a necklace kind of person, and it wasn't even sentimental. Mina tossed her magazine down on the bed and a smile played on her face as she saw the necklace between your fingers.

"That's a cute necklace? Did Katsuki get it for you?"

"Yeah, he did."

You answer Mina's questions and inquiries as you let the gem on the necklace slip out of your fingers. You couldn't help but let your face slip into a frown. You couldn't help it, the more you thought about the necklace, the further you fell into dark thoughts. It wasn't even the fact that it wasn't sentimental like all of the other gifts he gave you, it was the fact he let some girl pick it out. You weren't a controlling person, not remotely. If Katsuki wanted female friends he could have them, he did have them. While he wouldn't call Mina a friend, she was. Mina was a girl you felt comfortable with, however, you had already had a girl in mind of who you thought helped him, a girl who wasn't Mina. A girl you didn't feel comfortable with, a girl you knew you shouldn't feel comfortable with.

"Well, it's very pretty, if I had a boyfriend who brought me gifts like that I'd be over the moon. So I take it things between you and Katsuki are good then?"

"I guess, um, I just... I think Katsuki is cheating on me."

You started off in a stutter before you bluntly spoke out your words. The moment your voice hits your ears you cringe at yourself and cross your arms. It was such a ridiculous thought. A horrendous and dark thought that, lately, kept crossing your mind more often than it should be crossing and occurring.

"What? Why?!"

"He's just acting so strange and weird."

You pulled yourself up into a cross-legged sitting position on Mina's bed to talk to her. Mina moved and adjusted her own body, completely immersed in what you were saying. You played with your hand as your next words came out.

"Whenever he's out late he always, and I mean always comes to my dorm before going to bed. He didn't come to my dorm last Friday, instead, he shows up at my dorm Saturday afternoon with flowers."

"Flowers are sweet and romantic though. The fact that he bought them for you means he cares."

"Katsuki always brings me a wide variety of flowers. Hydrangeas, snapdragons, hyacinth. It's out of the ordinary and romantic, but this time he bought roses. Not just any roses, yellow roses. What kind of statement is he trying to make with that one?! Everyone knows yellow roses mean friendship and red means romance. Even Denki knows that."

Mina scratched the back of her head nervously. She supposed she should have explained to Katsuki to get red roses. Katsuki was unaware of things in the romance department. Mina needed to try and dial things back before Katsuki found out what you're thinking.

"Katsuki isn't very romantically smart, you're his first serious romantic relationship."

"Yeah, but we've been dating for nearly a year, and that's not even it. We were studying yesterday, and you know how strict Katsuki is when he's studying, you've seen him with Eijirou. Katsuki was not strict at all, he made me stop studying to cuddle. To cuddle! Can you believe that?"

"Well... Maybe he's trying to be sweeter to you, I mean look at the necklace he got you, it's so romantic."

"Don't even get me started on the necklace! Katsuki always brings me sentimental and meaningful gifts. He buys me pencil led when I'm low, and notebooks when he sees my paper is getting down to the end, he buys me gloves when he notices mine are lost or have holes. They're stupid and meaningful and I love it."

You ran your fingers through your hair distressed and upset. Yanking your hands through a few new forming snarls from laying on the bed, practically pulling some hair strands out.

"The necklace isn't meaningful, it doesn't have sentiment, and he didn't even pick it out himself! Some girl picked it out for him."

"Why, didn't he say who? It doesn't mean anything. The girl is probably a friend."

"I think I already know who the girl is. It's some stupid brunette from Shiketsu High. They met during his supplementary lessons, they met again after their internship heroes started working together regularly. She saw him when we were walking to get coffee and she just had to stop and talk to him, she was obviously flirting with him."

You had never felt more awkward at that moment. She was blatantly flirting with him, whether she knew that you were together or not, you didn't know. You didn't expect Katsuki to talk about his relationship during his internship, he was supposed to be working, but you didn't trust her. You knew from that moment the brunette was going to be trouble. She was interested in your boyfriend and that spelled out trouble to you.

"'had a little help' he says, staking her claim on what's mine I say."

"[Y/N], I don't think katsuki would cheat on you. He wouldn't do that."

Mina felt completely nervous. She hadn't realized you and she had such different opinions on romance and what was wooing and not. Katsuki was romantic, he was doing nothing wrong, she just didn't see it from your point of view. Mina had worried Katsuki for nothing and gave bad romance advice which resulted in you worrying. Katsuki was going to kill her, she needed to fix this.

"[Y/N], Katsuki loves you a lot, don't worry, okay?"

"Okay, you're probably right, I'm thinking too much. I'm going back to my dorm, try to get some studying in before the test tomorrow."

Despite the pink girl's words you still didn't feel good. As you stood up and walked to her door, you still felt a rush of negative thoughts and emotions. You still felt winded and emotional. You still felt hurt and fearful of your relationship. You felt the same as you did when you walked into her dorm.  

You nervously tapped your leg up and down on the ground repeatedly as Mr. Ectoplasm and his copies passed out the scored math tests to the class. You supposed a quirk like that must be very useful as a teacher. You kept making little glances over at where Katsuki was sat and your heart clenched. You felt so ridiculous for suspecting he was cheating. You felt completely horrible. Mina was right, Katsuki loved you. Katsuki loved you and he would never cheat. The simple thought that he would was wrong, yet, this lingering feeling told you he was. 

Maybe you should talk to him about it. Maybe you should tell him and express your fears and worries. It was better to talk about things like this, it was better to express yourself rather than locking it up and away, where it could fester and damage your relationship. You looked back over at Katsuki, who caught your glace this time and smiled at you. The smile made you feel sick and guilty for feeling this way. You would tell him how you were feeling after class. The sooner it was out in the open the better. 

You turned back to your test sheet and frowned at the result. You got a forty. Forty. After all that studying you had received a forty. You wanted to be mad at Katsuki for not making you study harder, but you had studied with Izuku first hand. Maybe Ectoplasm would let you take a retest. Ectoplasm dismissed you all and you quickly folded up your test paper in half so no one could see your result as you exited. After you packed up your school bag you stood out in the hall and waited for Katsuki. 

The nerves in your stomach churned. You didn't want to tell Katsuki the negative thoughts that were running through you, you didn't want to tell him how you had dark thoughts and worries about him cheating, but you had to tell him. You had to put your thoughts and theories to rest. Katsuki came out in the hall with his own test papers in hand and you both began to walk to your next class. 

"What'd you score?"

"Got a ninety-two. You?"

"A forty."

You sighed as you clenched the paper in your hand. That was a D. Katsuki was on the fritz. He was trying to take Mina's advice. He wanted to be nice and softer to you like Mina told him he had to be, but he couldn't. You should've studied harder, he should've made you study harder. Katsuki gritted his teeth and took a deep breath to calm himself down before responding. 

"You'll do better next time!" 

"What is wrong with you?"

"What do you mean?"

You looked at Katsuki like he grew two heads. This wasn't your boyfriend, and you slightly wondered if Toga had infiltrated UA. He was never kind like this, he wasn't a positive person. He was supposed to yell at you. Tell you to study better. Tell you you needed to get good scores if you were going to become a hero with him. 

"It's just a bad test score, not every score can be a baller."

"I failed my test, you're supposed to yell at me. Tell me I'm stupid, tell me to study more. Tell me anything but that fake positivity shit! You are not acting like yourself, are you cheating on me? Is this guilt? Are you guilty?"

"No! Fuck, no!"

Katsuki dropped his bag and wrapped his arms around you. That wasn't how you meant to tell him about the thoughts you were having. You wanted to tell him calmly and respectfully, you hadn't meant to flat out accuse him, your thoughts just need up tumbling out that way. Katsuki's own reassuring words came stumbling out in your ear as he tightly gripped you against him.  

"You are perfect and beautiful, and so important to me. I would never cheat on you, I would never fuck up what I have with you. Why would you think that? I don't wanna make you feel that fuckin' way."   

"I know that. I know you wouldn't, but you have been acting so weird and different." 

"I need to be nice or else I'm going to lose you. I got insecure, but shit, I should be. You are so perfect, and you deserve roses and jewelry and the world. You deserve someone who cuddles you instead of studying and who doesn't make you feel like they're cheating and fuck-" 

You pull out of Katsuki's tight grip and cup his cheeks. Your fingers skimmed over his skin tenderly as you stared up at his red eyes and noticed how watery they were. Your heart broke, you thought he was unfaithful but he was really just scared of losing you.

"I don't want you to be soft and nice. You already give me the world Katsuki. You make me study because you care about me. I don't want you to get me roses and Jewelry, I hate it, and I love the stupid little gifts you get me. You don't give me affection and cuddles, but you do other things, like waiting to walk me to class and making me food." 

"You don't want me to be nicer?"

"No! Everything you do is already perfect. Everything you do shows me you care about me in your own way. I love the way you are, I don't want you to change."

Katsuki pulled you back into his arms and pressed a rough kiss against your forehead. He was doing everything right. He was better than dumb Deku, and your test score was proof of that. He wasn't going to lose you, Denki and Mina were wrong. 

"Come to my dorm tonight, you need to study better dumbass."

It didn't matter that the whole class watched the exchange between you both. It didn't matter that Mina had screwed with your relationship and felt very relieved to have gotten off scot-free, for now at least. It didn't matter because all Katsuki cared about was the fact that he was a great boyfriend, the best. He didn't have to be softer, nicer. He didn't have to change, you liked it. You loved him, the way he was. That was all that mattered.

[bellaslilpapercut]

Oh boy New Moon! I've got some Thoughts a brewin' babey:

1. Smeyer: you do not need to remind your audience what happened last book, they aren't stupid. Imagine if SC started catching fire with ANOTHER explanation of what the hunger games are and that's the vibe of the first chapters of new moon. We remember james, we know what vampires are, we know that Bella is white, stop reminding us!

2. Bella has the worst self esteem of all time. Every bad thing that has happened to her since the Van Incident has been Edward's fault but she still blames herself and idk if this is Intentional Insecurity or if smeyer is protecting edward's "character" or both but gdamn it's depressing.

3. The reason I said Jasper was Inconsistently Written jumped out at me again. Smeyer dedicated a whole paragraph to pointing out how terrible jasper is at the diet or whatever but in the guide, smeyer tells us jasper actively tried to starve himself in the past because of how difficult his gift made feeding. He was one of only two Cullens to show bella empathy, he smelled her blood before, why does he attack her? The weakness of this decision is pointed out in the exposition: if it really were likely that Jasper would attack Bella, she wouldn't have needed a superfluous paragraph dedicated to telling us how bad he is at self control. If the story had convinced us of that beforehand, we would have believed the attack without the addendum.

4. The party is my least favorite part of the whole series and I will die on this hill: edward should have attacked bella. Bella should have tripped into something glass and edward should have lost it because he tasted her blood before and couldn't help himself. That way: edwards self loathing makes sense and he's forced to recon with his superiority complex from the ending chapters of twilight AND bella's self blame makes sense. A vamp who was able to starve himself before he even heard of the cullens should not have lost it around someone he spent days in close quarters with, building rapport and friendship. Edward got too high and mighty after he fed from Bella in Twilight, that should have had real consequence.

5. The writing is getting a little better as we near Edward leaving. "Better" isn't a good word actually but it's getting closer to the prose in twilight (which was flowery and annoying but at least it didn't constantly feel like being spoonfed exposition every paragraph). Hm wrote this blurb while I was still on chapter 3 and the vibe of being spoonfed reminders has not really dissipated lmfao.

We remember Sam Uley, smeyer, you introduced him four chapters ago. Just quick question: did anyone proofread this?? I think it's fair to say: when she isn't reminding us of things that we remember the prose is more similar to twilight. A little annoying but interesting enough to forgive the errors (or at least move past them easily enough lol).

6. I'm on chapter 8 now (I'm gonna break this up into three parts so I don't forget stuff like I did during the twilight reread) and there's a very heavy Vibe that smeyer is setting Jake up to be a parallel for twilight-era Bella. This line here is a pretty clear parallel for Bella telling Edward not to hold his breath in Twilight when he tells her she might get tired of him.

7. This line here "almost happy in a shallow kind of way" really jumped out. What Bella's narration says about Jacob versus her conversations with him (and her one paragraph about his happiness being effortlessly contagious) are at odds. It doesn't read like shallow happiness when she's with Jake. However, Smeyer is also a bad writer, she thinks the story she's telling us is literally what the narration says and not what the action shows and I think she realizes this in Eclipse (but obviously I'm not there yet so I can't say for sure).

8. I really can't get over the drop in writing quality. I know that she had already mostly finished Forever Dawn by the time Twilight was published (or was halfway done, I think her website said she had over 300 pages of forever dawn complete when she found out Twilight was getting published). I think the writing quality really reveals that she was not prepared to write New Moon. It's sloppier than Twilight in a way I'm not able to articulate (by that I mean I personally have a more intuitive than technical understanding of grammar and syntax so I don't have the language to break down the differences). Twilight itself is ripe with technical errors and plot errors and awkward exposition so it's not an overt drop in quality but I think it very much reads like a rushed writing job. She was committed to forever dawn, her publishers wanted New Moon, it shows.

9. I think New Moon was when I first started physically editing my copies of the saga lol. Even reading it now I'm so tempted to open up a word document and cut half of the useless shit out and fix all the grammatical mistakes. I can't even talk shit because I am also a comma-abuser but I hoped an editor would at least catch the errors before publishing. Guess not! Brevity is very clearly not meyers strong suit and this would have been a much stronger sequel if she had been able to reign herself in a bit. New Moon isn't supposed to be as narration heavy as twilight, there's already more action in the first seven chapters than the there was in the first 19 of twilight but she always delivers exposition via awkward dialogue or Bella's narration. Again, we already got a lot of the exposition in twilight, we know how vampires work et cetera. You can show us how bella feels instead of making her tell us and the story would run a lot more smoothly.

10. I'll end on a nice note! Little treat!

This is my favorite part of the book so far. I whited-out the useless dialogue tag because the line reads better without it ( line originally ends with "I emphasized" but she could have been brief and just ended the dialogue with an exclamation point for the same effect). The dialogue is natural and shows the J/B relationship that lives in my head way better than anything else I've seen on the page at this point. Like, I literally love this line more than any dialogue that preceded it (including twilight) lol.

[orange-waterfalls]

All At Once

Illinois x male!reader

@just-bts-trash-00 ty for the request + prompt!

A/N: OK SO i was looking through my docs and found this like halfway done??? And it's pretty much what was asked??? So I used it and edited a shit ton out so it wouldn't be too long but it's still pretty fuckin long. Rated T for cursing and a bit of blood and reference to sex in like,,, 1 sentence. This is probably more angst than fluff but,,, I did my best. I'm ngl I might write a part 2 if I really feel like it but no promises.

Asks and submissions are open!

Word Count: 2.8k

--

You had fallen asleep in a cave Illinois had managed to trap you two in, and you were being rescued by the time you woke up. Some guys in the town over got worried and started looking for you. They heard you and Illinois down there, and got some tools to get you two out. They had made a hole in the rock and threw some rope down to pull you up. Illinois grabbed onto the rope and held his arm out to you. You crossed your arms. He rolled his eyes and sighed.

"It'll be quicker if you just hold on to me instead of us going one at a time," he explained. You didn't move, wanting to be petty, but you saw the logic and decided it was smart. You walked over and held onto him and the rope as you were pulled up.

"This is nice, don't you think?" He purred. You scoffed. As soon as you two were on solid ground, you pushed away from him.

"Aw, come on…" he chuckled, "you're not still mad, are you?" You ignored him. A woman walked up to you. She was holding a notepad and a pencil.

"Hello there! I'm--" she began.

"I don't talk to press," you monotoned. Since you and Illinois go on a heck of a lot of adventures, and find a lot of treasure, you started to become a bit famous. You weren't having any of it. You headed over your car. You got in the driver's side and waited for Illinois.

After about 10 minutes of Illinois not being there, you looked back.

There the bastard was, flirting with a reporter who had tried to talk to you. Her notepad was away, so you knew it wasn't professional. You cursed and threw the car door open. You walked up to them, and they didn't seem to notice. They were too busy making flirty comments and innuendos. You rolled your eyes.

"Hey, Illinois, you mind if we head back? I'd like to sleep in a bed after being trapped underground for 12 hours," you growled.

"12 hours? It wasn't that long, you'll be fine," he brushed you off and kept talking to the reporter. Your hand twitched and you curled it into a fist. You pulled him away from her.

"Illinois get in the goddamn car right fucking now or I'm leaving without you," you warned. He raised an eyebrow at you. You glared back at him. He snorted, but stayed there with you. He acted like a dick, but deep down he did care about your feelings.

"Sorry, ma'am. Adventure calls," he saluted a goodbye to her and walked with you to the car. You got back into the driver's seat and he got in the passengers'. You started the car and began driving. Illinois sighed.

"So, what's your issue?" He asked.

"You are my issue!" You snapped. He looked offended. "You got us trapped in a cave for 12 hours!"

"Ok, I told you it wasn't that long. And you're still on that?"

"Yes, I'm still on that! You were careless, arrogant-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know! You know, my other partners never-"

"I am not your other partners and if you keep comparing me to them I will beat your fucking ass!" You threatened. You hated that he always criticized you by saying you weren't like his other partners. You'd just never really said anything about it until then. He frowned at you.

"Does it… bother you when I do that?" He asked. You grunted in affirmation. He nodded. "I'll… try not to…" he said. Illinois wasn't an apologizing type of guy. He's a "I won't admit I'm wrong but I'll try to do better" type of guy. It was anger-inducing at times, but he did try to do better, so you couldn't really be mad.

"Thank you," you sighed.

"Y'know you're-"

"Don't."

"What, I'm-"

"Don't! Don't say anything! Don't talk for the rest of this car ride, got it?" You demanded. He made a gesture that he was zipping his lips. You focused on the road. You heard writing and turned to Illinois. He was scribbling words down on a napkin he'd found. He handed to you. You held it in your hand until you got to a stoplight and then read it. It said "You're cute when you're mad~".

You groaned and threw it back at him. He started laughing and you pulled into the inn's parking lot soon after. You parked the car and got out, slamming the door shut.

"Whoa, you trying to get a new car?" He scoffed. You turned to him, looking annoyed. "Yeah. What I thought," he smirked and walked through the door. You followed after him, still feeling pissy. You flopped face down onto your bed. Illinois said something to you, but you didn't hear it as your vision went black and you fell asleep.

--

You woke to the sound of water running in the bathroom. Illinois is taking a shower.

"You were starting to stink," you mumbled, not nearly loud enough for him to hear. You laid there, not wanting to move, for the next 10 minutes.

The water stopped and you raised your eyebrows.

"Done already?" You slurred, still not fully awake.

"Hm?" He called.

"I said, 'Done already'?" You repeated. Illinois walked out of the bathroom wearing a towel. Only a towel. Your face flushed and you turned your head.

"I was in there before you woke up," he chuckled. He saw your head move a bit, and inferred that you'd turned away. He put clothes on and walked around your bed to where you were facing and gently flicked you in the forehead. You scrunched up your nose and whined as he laughed.

"Don't be a baby," he teased. You flipped yourself into your back and sat up.

"Guess it's my turn," you murmured. He grabbed your shoulder.

"Actually, there's not really a point for that," he informed you. You knitted your eyebrows together.

"Why?"

"We're going on another adventure, pal!"

"Illy…" You groaned and fell back onto the bed. He jumped in next to you.

"I promise we won't get trapped underground." You looked over at him.

"Probably."

You kept looking.

"Maybe."

You raised an eyebrow.

"Possibly…"

"Illinois, I'm tired," you whined. He snorted.

"I'm not sure how, you just slept for 10 hours." He said. You blinked at him. Ten hours? Guess you really were tired.

"Can't we just stay in today?"

"C'mon, man! Just one adventure and then you can stay in for a whole week!"

"Why does it have to be now?"

"It just does, okay?" You squinted at him, suspicious.

"Why did you take a shower?" He scratched his head.

"Well, I heard about this cave--"

"Of course."

"And we need a map to get to it. But, uh, the only person with a map is a woman who's leaving town tomorrow…"

"Illinois!"

"I know, I know!"

"What are you gonna do? Sleep with her?" You mocked. Illinois stayed quiet.

"Illinois! You slut!" You yelled.

"Hey, now, you can't call me things like that… at least not when I'm wearin' clothes…"

"I hate you."

"Please, Y/N!" He pleaded. You stared at him. As much as he was a bastard, you loved him and couldn't say no.

"Fine…"

"Alright, let's go," He got up and walked out the door. You followed, much less happy about it, and got into your car.

--

You drove to the cave, having gotten the map from the woman. Illinois' seduction didn't work on the woman. The two people did, however, start talking about adventure and traveling and got along over that. He asked her about the map and she said he could have it as long as he promised to give it back to her. He did, and you headed out.

You parked to the side of the forest where you were supposed to go through, and got out of the car. You took the mat and held it in front of you looking at the thick forest ahead. Illinois walked up next to you his hands on his hips. He turned to you.

"You ready?" He asked.

"As I'll ever be," you answered. He smirked and put his arm around your shoulder as you began your walk.

You two could follow a trail in the woods at first, but it faded off at some point. You tried your best to follow the map by going straight, but you ended up turning a couple times when there was a tree or something in your way. After half an hour of searching, you finally ended up at the cave that had a plaque on the side of it. He read the foreign writing aloud. You didn't recognize it.

"What does that mean?"

"No idea. I'm sure it doesn't matter," he waltzed into the cave without a care in the world. "Come on." He urged you. You sighed, folding the map and putting it in your satchel. You followed Illinois through the dark cave. You were in charge of the map, the flashlight, and Illinois. You were not going to get trapped underground again.

Every time you got to a puzzle of some sort, Illinois passed through effortlessly, while you lagged behind, fearing for your life. He teased you for it every time.

There was a small glass box in the center of the floor with a door on the other side. Illinois tried to push the door open, but it wouldn't budge. He walked back in front of the box, standing beside you.

"What should we do, partner?" He asked. You, being the dumbass you are, took your knife and tapped the box with it. The ground sank and a bunch of holes appeared in the walls. The door opened.

Illinois hauled ass towards the door, leaving you to panic in place. By the time he was through the door, you were only halfway there. Arrows began shooting through the holes in the walls. Illinois kept waving his hand, telling you to speed up.

"Come on! Come on!" He yelled. You sprinted towards him. An arrow cut your thigh and you squeezed your eyes shut as you threw yourself at the adventurer. He put his arms out in surprise as you wrapped yours around his chest.

"Well now, I know I'm hot, but you could ask before you--" his comment was cut off by you letting out a small groan. He furrowed his eyebrows. He looked down your body and saw your bleeding thigh. He lifted you off of his body and sat you on the floor. He reached in your bag and pulled out bandages and rubbing alcohol. He cleaned your wound as you bit your hand, drawing a bit of blood in the process. He bandaged you up and patted your shoulder.

"Get up, bud. You'll live," he said and started walking. He wanted you to rest for a bit, but he knew it wasn't safe in the cave. The best thing to do was to just finish the adventure so you could get back to the inn. You gritted your teeth and stood up, limping after Illinois.

While walking, you dug your fingernails into your arm to distract from the pain in your leg. You were much slower than Illinois, with his long, confident strides, so he slowed down for you. You eventually ended up outdoors again. There were necklaces with all kinds of precious jewels on it sitting on rocks, all in a circle.

"Which one are we supposed to pick?" You asked, your voice cracking from the pain. Illinois glances at you worriedly before walking forward.

"Well, I don't know. Let's ask the plaques," he leaned down in front of a rock. A golden plaque was on it, describing the necklace. Each one was supposed to be blessed. He read the plaque and wasn't very interested. He moved onto the next one. He still wasn't very interested. He went around to each of the jewels and found nothing interesting to him. Just when he was about to shove all of them into his bag and be done with it, he found a strange one. A necklace with a golden chain hanging on a branch of a tree. He lifted his eyebrow and walked up to it. There was a plaque on the branch. It only had a name, no description.

"Forbidden Fruit? That sounds fun," he laughed. You frowned.

"Uh, Illinois, I don't think you should take that one…"

"Oh, don't be a sourpuss, it'll be fine," he said as he took the necklace from the branch, smiling. His smile fell as the green and red colors of the jewel started to swirl, invading his vision. He felt himself begin to sway as he turned to his partner. The boy was on one knee glaring at the ground.

"Of course you don't listen. You don't care about me anyways…" you said without moving your mouth. Illinois, his vision covered in shades of red, green, and yellow, reached out to you.

"That's not… not true…" he slurred and heard an echo in his voice. "I… I care about… about you…" you looked up at him, your eyes wide.

"What?" You said, again not moving your mouth. "Is he hearing my thoughts?"

"Why would… would you think I… I didn't care?" He asked, his voice jumping octaves to his own ears. He felt the world spin around him and suddenly, he dropped. The ground disappeared beneath him as he fell and was suddenly stopped. His vision went back to normal as he opened his eyes and saw a speeding river below. He yelled out in fear, looking up. He saw you clutching onto his arm for dear life, while also keeping you and Illinois from plummeting by holding onto a ledge with your dagger.

"Illinois!" You yelled, "Do not move! I'm pulling myself up!" Illinois didn't respond. He just stared up at you, sweat and dirt covering your skin, your face darkening with the effort of holding him, hair sticking to your forehead…

It was making him feel weird.

He had this twisting feeling in his stomach and he felt his face heating up.

Was this… no. No, it couldn't. He would've known by now. Right?

You, running on pure willpower and adrenaline, managed to pull yourself over the ledge up to your chest. You heaved and wheezed with the effort of pulling yourself over and into your stomach. You still managed to have a deathgrip on Illinois' arm, even though you were quaking like hell. You held on.

Illinois started feeling weird again.

"Okay… okay just… just gimme a second… just a sec…" you panted. You were laying on your stomach, your head over the ledge, holding Illinois. He stared up at you, subconsciously trying to notice every detail of your face. Did you always have that scar? He didn't notice you had pulled him up until you were holding his head in your arms, rocking back and forth.

"Oh God… oh my God… you're okay… we're okay…" you stammered. Illinois pulled his head away from you, looking you in the eye. Tears were streaming down your face. He put his hands on both sides of your neck, rubbing his thumbs over your jaw. You held his face in your hands and began to sob, pulling him into a hug. You two sat and held each other for quite a while. Illinois had his eyes closed, trying to memorize your scent. He saw something bright through his eyelids and opened his eyes. He saw the plaque that was for the necklace he took. It now had a description.

Some fall in love slowly at first, where not even they know it. And then the emotion comes flooding all at once.

Illinois frowned and knitted his eyebrows together. All at once? What did that mean?

"I'm so glad you're okay…" you whispered. He felt your warm breath on his neck and he shivered. His face heated up again and the feeling in his stomach became more prominent.

Oh. That's what it meant. Was Illinois in love with you? The plaque seemed to think so…

You pulled away from the hug and smiled warmly at him. He returned it even brighter.

"I… think we deserve a week off…" he chuckled. You laughed and it made him happy. You both stood and walked around the outside of the cave, to the front of it. Illinois looked back at it for a moment and the letters on the plaque formed into English.

Arrogance fades when one makes room in his heart for others.

Illinois smiled. That one he could figure out.

"Hey Illinois! Come on!" You called from a couple yards in front of him.

"I'm comin', I'm comin'," he said as he caught up to you.

"Hey uh… I guess you really… fell for me back there huh?" You laughed. Illinois stared at you. "Yeah, I know… cheesy…" you sighed and kept walking. Illinois slowed down, his face darkening.

This was gonna be a problem.

Aha I rushed this one it bad I'm so sorry

[veridium]

I do have a quick question, if you've got the time. Recently, I've found it hard to type out my thoughts, like as I am typing the words just kinda... disappear? I'm halfway through a sentance and just, poof, that whole thought no longer makes any sense or it does but I can't seem to translate it to words. Have you experienced this? If so, how do you fix it????

Oh! I do sometimes, but mostly because of my chronic daydreaming OR brain fog which is a common symptom of chronic illness (woo!). When this happens I do one of two things: 

1). spend more time meditating on the thoughts I’m trying to convey. This helps me be more concise. If I am thinking of a sentence or two to write I mull it over in my head, or type it out as a starting point and then chip away + edit. 

2). I get to a quiet place and relax for a moment or two before starting to write. Grounding myself and withdrawing from the busy world around me is often my most helpful ritual. If I forget things or struggle to focus, I don’t chide myself, I just work to settle into the space I am in.

The big thing is I try not to force muse or force channeling things because I know it won’t be as great as the writing I do when I am centered and rested. When my thoughts are jumbled or weak it typically means I am tired and over-extending myself, so usually I shut my laptop and pause writing for an hour or even up to a day. It’s all about being kind to yourself and remembering your imagination is a muscle that needs respite and patience, too, just like anything else!

Best of luck to you, friend. I hope you find what works for you!

[cowboypossume]

sdfghj I'm so sorry for coming back to this so late I am living in Tumblr bliss without checking my inbox but a) babe is totally fine I love that!! and my names aru (no a, you were close though!!)

yeah I'm like...halfway ash through the book? Simon snow needs a break but I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS EVEN IF THEY WEREN'T GOOD

AND SORRY FOR NOT RESPONDING TO YOUR DMs I'm really bad at messaging I'll try to get better!!!

hey hey don’t sweat about the dm thing ! the inbox is something i can learn to do :D !!! but ok you and spoilers throughout literally the entire and this is gonna be a lot and unedited (mostly) because BEHZYZTGZYSHSYHZUENEUSBS IM SO U P S E T

undeather the - - - - - - is when the spoilers stop

ok, ok, getting striaght to the point. it’s so horny. it’s so horny. and for W H A T ? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE REASON FOR IT TOBE T H A T HORNY? AND EVEN THEN ALL OF THE SEX STUFF WAS SO V A U G E ? LIKE EVERY TIME SIMON AND BAZ WERE TOGETHER IT TYRNED INTO SEX AND YES OK AS AN ACE I G E T HOW MUCH SEX CAN COME UP, BUT LIKE, ENDYXHZYGSHSYZGE WHAT WAS THAT?? IT WASNT EVEN WELL WRITTEN! IT WAS JUST SIMON BEING LIKE “i want more but it’s not enough” AND LIKE NOT REALLY ELABORATING ?? AND THEN THEYD BE SHARING A CUTE MOMENT THEN *bam* HORNY AGAIN? OK ALSO AS FAR I KNOW RAINBOW ROWELLE IS A CIS HET STRAIGHT WOMEN .. BABE WE DONT NEED THAT MUCH SEX BETWEEN THE MLM RELATIONSHIP??? AND THEN WJEN THEY ACTUALLY KIND OF EVEN HAVE SEX ITS SO V A U G E (AGAIN!) ITS NOT UNTIL SEVERAL PAGES LATER I REALIZED THAT THAT TIME WAS ACTUALLY SEX VS ALL THE TIMES IT WASNT? I DIDNT LIKE IT !!

ok now that i’m done being upset about how fucking vague it was, i also didn’t like how it was used as a metaphor for simon wanting to actually try in a relationship? yes it’s important to try in relationships and compromise and try when you don’t want to, that’s important, obviously, but like ,, you’re allowed to have your own believes about sex. that doesn’t have to be the soul focus of your relationship. baz himself even admits that they “have bigger things to worry about”. there are ways to show growth in a relationship without sex, and even if you do, IT DOESNT NEED TO BE THAT VAUGE?? AND OFTEN? simon felt overwhelmed in those positions and then was like “ok lol i’m done with anxiety and just gonna try now and no more anxiety :)” it felt like to me? and then bam bow horny. ALSO. ITS NOW CANNONICAL SIMON HAS A BLOOD KINK ????

ALSO! THAT SCENE IN THE SEWER WAS BAZ BEING LIKE

“please fucking stop about asking me to drain you. i’m makes me so uncomfortable and scared and stop.”

and simon was like “but it’s hotttttt”. WHAT ?? BABE WE DONT HAVE TIME TO UNPACK ALL OF THAT.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO NEXT POINT: WHY? WHY THE FUCK DID SIMON GROWL??? W H A T?? WHAT THE FUCK?? WHAT THE FUCK WAS HIM G R OW L I N G WHEN HE SPOKE??

and ok something i didn’t fit in before was all the weird ways the kissing scenes were described? i’m from america so maybe it’s like a dialect thing i don’t understand, but constantly hearing “i shove my nose into his face” while they were kissing was so weird?? like shove, similar words i frankly don’t want to remember, we’re used all the time? and for what? hmmm??? what was that?????? i cant express to you how of a fever dream this book was?? but ohohoho i have more to unpack.

penny to me always felt like the token diversity friend when it wasn’t in her point of view (and even then pushing it) and so i didn’t love her character. but!! her and simon’s friendship was realistic. i could get behind that. HOWEVER. THIS BOOK TAKES THAT AWAY. SIMON once is like “give me space” and then she’s just like “ok” and i feel like their friendship never got repaired at the end? i stopped really paying attention because fucking shit i was so tired of the constant sex between baz and simon that i zoned out most of it so maybe it did but ,, i don’t think it did. i’m pretty sure she got with shepard and then he got with baz and then that was the end of the friendship because ✨ooooo we’re dating people✨ thing. which ,, isn’t how it happens??

and while we’re here: i didn’t like the penny and shepard ship but whatever it felt like it was inevitable like female x male loki so i was like “huh disappointed but not surprised” feeling when they kissed. if you like it, cool great (/gen), i didnt and that’s swaggy but, ok, the plot of shepard being engaged to a female demon who i think wants to fuck him in hell only to be resolved in like 2 pages of a monologue so penny and shepard can get together was ?? so WEIRD ??? like what was that ?? how did that develop their relationship? idk it was so weird.

but ok back to simon and penny, i kept reading and reading and reading on so i could maybe get to at least talk again and then,, they didn’t? they just didn’t. they never made up their friendship and i get that you lose friends along your life. believe me i’m the last person you have to drive that point home to. but,,,,, god i hated that their friendship ended. for WHAT REASON DID IT END?? simon said he needed space, penny respected that, got a boyfriend and simon did too, so no longer theyre friends? something i liked about this series was the group dynamic all of the books had. no matter who’s pov it was in you could tell who each character was because it was unqiue. you still could in this book so i’ll give credit where credit’s due. however THIS BOOK WAS LIKE 3 ENTIRELY DIFFERENT STORIES WITH NO CONECTJON REWLLY ?? WHICH IS FINE I JUST ,, didn’t get that in the first two books so ,,,, why is it here ?

and ok something else while i’m criticizing is: i don’t love her writing style. i didn’t like how in book one i got “here’s an introduction to my magical word told through past tense and memories and so hopefully you’re all caught up now” which i was willing to overlook because just because i don’t like the style means it bad. at least this book didn’t do that but idk didn’t love that aspect.

ok back to the three stories: i love agatha being a bisexual goat care taker. that’s it literally she should have been the main character. like deadass i loved her story so much. that’s it that’s all /pos.

ok but! simon finding his family was cool. i liked that he got that. the pacing of the scene where he finds out was a little rushed for me but, then again, based on my writing i can’t really critique on that so … liked it, enough. idk how to elaborate. wasn’t the worst part of this book but doesn’t really sit well with me.

and i’m so confused about simon’s wings. he does want them and constantly brings up his surgery and then all of a sudden ,, doesn’t? i think? the last chapter is so vague and simon mentions being on the fence about it and i understand that we as the reader don’t need to know everything about what the future holds for these characters but also ?? beudhyzhsgsbeysyzb babe he brought it up like all the time and can i please get a solid answer ??

aLSO. WHY DID SIMON AND BAZ BREAKUP ONLY FOR THEM TO GET TOGETHER 5 CHAPTERS LATER?? WHAYDYXYZGWH WHAT WAS THE POINT OF WAYWAYRD SON IF SHE JUST DID THAT???? LIKE WHXGXYVZYZHE YOU MADE THEM STAY TOGETHER WHEN SIMON WAS BEING AN ACTUAL DICK FOR AN ENTIRE BOOK (which i will defend until the day i die those scenes weren’t an OUNCE of how horny this book is), THEY BREAKUP, AND THEN GET TOGETHER AGAIN?? NOT EVEN 100 PAGES AFTER THEY BREAKUP??? SHZGZGZYSGSU W H A T? WHAT? I DONT GET IT? i don’t get it.

i kept waiting for the scene where everything came together and it never came. then the epilogue didn’t clarify anything either.

i don’t know. there’s more probably i just didn’t enjoy this book. i would have given it a 5/10 the first time i read it but the more i think about it the lower that number goes so ,, yea not a good time.

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so! that’s a lot! completely get it if you disagree :D. you’re allowed to like a book even though i don’t. and also i have no energy to edit this so enjoy me screaming about it !