#edi has a question

[danielleitloudernow]

I came across this lovely bit of art on Pintrest and had to write a fic 🤣

I Have a Question About Human Behavior

Artist credit @makanidotdot

[ducklooney]

Hiya! Dunno if you're the right person to ask, but since you seem to like Gyro Gearloose as much as I do, do you think that he should have a love interest? Now, I know most people ship him with Fenton and I know he used to have multiple girlfriends in comics (like Dana Data or Mathilda) but none of them were used afterwards (they were just one-shot characters I think) nor were really his "type" in my opinion. I remember some years ago, I had an oc that was supposed to be Gyro's "female counterpart" (like most of Duckverse/Mouseverse characters' love interests are) and a girlfriend but it kinda failed, I plan on redesigning her soon. However I've seem some people headcanoning him as asexual what I'm fine with, but I still think it would be a fun idea to imagine what his actual love interest would look like if it was canon

Hi! Yes, Gyro is one of my favorite characters. No, you've asked a good question since Gyro doesn't have a longtime love interest like Donald has Daisy. Usually many Gyro fans ship Gyro with male characters and not only Fenton but also Donald, Fethry, Gladstone, Mad Ducktor and others. Yes, I know that there are mostly disposable girls in comics, but in my opinion Gyro has a corresponding love of the opposite gender. And that he has his own love interests that have appeared more than once. In my opinion, they would be some of these characters:

Dickie Duck - Paperetta Ye Ye Dickie is a college girl in her early 20s and she is the granddaughter of Goldie O'Gilt from the Italian and Brazilian comics. Gyro is roughly between 25 and 30, but the two can really relate. Gyro is mostly kind to Dickie and seems quite shy. It was best shown in the comic strip Ducks on the Road where Gyro, Dickie and Daisy go on a tour of the USA playing music from the 1960s and 1970s and there Gyro and Dickie literally love each other. I think they would work well.

2. Genialina Edy Son

Most people don't know who she is, so I'll just say she's mostly a seamstress and fashion designer and the lead costume designer for Super Daisy (She-Venger or Paperinika). Just as Gyro serves Duck Avenger for gadgets and his costume, so does she for Paperinika. I think in an Italian comic (it's called Topolino) that she and Gyro love each other, so they really have similar personalities and I think they can relate together. And they are the same age if I'm not mistaken. She was created by Giorgio Cavazzano and that she used to be a student of Gyro around inventing gadgets and as I said before they can really be together.

3. Unnamed female chicken from Sir Gyro de Gearloose episode from Ducktales 1987

Unfortunately, her name is not known, but in my opinion she is also an excellent partner for Gyro. She only appeared once to get her toaster fixed but it ended up breaking so she was mad at Gyro whom she called Gyro "Gadget boy". Later when Gyro and Donald's nephews came back from medieval times she came to apologize and Gyro fixed her toaster and she gave him a bouquet of flowers as a sign of apology. Or was it the other way around, I can't remember exactly, but she's certainly a great partner for Gyro, but unfortunately she doesn't have a name, so she could be called anything.

4. Dr Sara Bellum

Yes, that's her name, even before her namesake in the series The Powerpuff Girls and the same namesake in the Carmen Sandiego series. It's just that she's from Darkwing Duck and she's an extremely excellent scientist who is the head of S.H.U.S.H.'s research division and works for S.H.U.S.H. organization against F.O.W.L. She is also clumsy at times and her inventions go awry. Smart and stupid at the same time, but her desire is to win the Nobel Prize and she is really very pleasant. And somehow she reminds of scientists from the Far East who came to America. Of course she and Gyro never met or met except maybe in the Dangerous Currency comic (crossover Ducktales and Darkwing Duck comic), so I can't say for sure, but I definitely think she and Gyro would get along great and maybe Gyro would work for S .H.U.S.H. to have the opportunity to do so. Since I usually cross sometimes Darkwing Duck with Donald Duck as well as their characters so why not with Gyro with Dr. Sara Bellum. In my opinion, the same ideal pair, although more like my headcanon, but it depends how for whom.

5. Della Duck

It sounds twisted, but I can really make the two of them work. Granted, this was only in Ducktales 2017, where the two really didn't have a good relationship, considering Della was stuck on the moon for ten years and used Gyro's Black Licorice invention to survive and when she got back to Earth she was supposed to takes revenge but only one episode had Gyro almost attack Della (I think it's in the Timephoon episode but I'm not sure) so she fought back. Unfortunately, there was no interaction between the two of them in that series, but I could have made that couple work, even though I don't ship them. I'm wondering if Gyro is the father of Huey, Dewey and Louie from Ducktales 2017 since he took Della Duck's DNA and cloned them. Again this is purely theoretical and my hypothesis.

As for comic book Gyro and comic book Della, they get along very well, even Gyro managed to speak with Della Duck in a Dutch comic dedicated to the 80th anniversary of Donald Duck and his birthday. Although they didn't talk much, Huey, Dewey and Louie talked more with their mom, but certainly if Della Duck came back to Earth they could work together as a good couple, in my opinion.

Source: https://imgur.com/a/family-ties-della-duck-debut-comic-3iGqH

That Gyro has other girlfriends, although I can't remember exactly what their names are and which one would be right for him. It's not a problem if Gyro is with an OC (original character) either, so it all depends on who you pair him with.

These are just my suggestions and my views as I see it. I hope I helped you and I apologize to others if this bothers them, this is just my opinion. I hope you are satisfied with my answers and if something is not clear to you, feel free to ask me. :D

[pastryfication]

hiii! i love your writing please could you do Oscar x reader where reader goes to his home race and sits in the paddock and meets oscars parents and sisters for the first time, reader is super nervous at first but you all get on super well and there all really nice

his mom calls me love

pairing: oscar piastri x female!reader note: i combined the request with this since they were almost the exact same!! i love the piastri family they all seem so genuine so this was fun to write <33 hope you enjoy

you��re nervous, more nervous than you’ve ever been.

the paddock is bustling, the air thick with excitement and the faint smell of burnt rubber, but all you can focus on are your buzzing nerves. just yesterday, you touched ground in melbourne for oscar’s home race, and today, you’re not just meeting his family—you’re meeting them all at once, and without oscar by your side.

he has told you a thousand times that you’ve got nothing to worry about, that his family will love you, but it’s hard to silence the wild butterflies in your stomach when they’re trying their hardest to make you sick.

you spot nicole first. she’s standing with oscar’s sisters by the hospitality area, and as soon as she spots you, she waves you over with a bright smile.

you’re instantly struck by how warm she seems, like a ray of sunshine on an overcast day. she pulls you into a hug the moment you’re close enough, and it’s so genuine, so full of kindness, that a little bit of your anxiety starts to melt away.

“we’re so happy you’re here,” she says, her voice joyful and comforting. “oscar’s told us all about you.”

the sisters gather around, each of them with the same easygoing charm as their mom. hattie, the oldest, gives you a knowing look, as if she’s seen oscar’s nerves about today and knows exactly what this means to him. edie is chatty, asking you questions about the race, about how you met oscar, her enthusiasm infectious. mae, the youngest, is a little held back at first but quickly warms up, giggling at every funny story you tell about oscar and smiling brightly when you compliment her outfit.

you feel the tension in your shoulders ease as you talk to them. nicole makes sure you’re comfortable, offering snacks and making gentle conversation that doesn’t feel forced or awkward. it’s like sitting with old friends, and you can see where oscar gets his sweetness from. the girls are delightful, and before you know it, you’re laughing at something hattie said, feeling lighter than you have all day.

time passes quickly in their company. you’re so engrossed in a conversation with mae, who’s telling you about her latest school project with joyful enthusiasm, that you don’t even notice when oscar finishes his post-qualifying duties and walks over to join you all. he pauses a few feet away, a soft smile spreading across his face as he takes in the scene: his family and his girlfriend—all of the most important women in his life—all together and getting along so effortlessly.

he doesn’t say anything right away, content to just watch. there’s a warmth in his chest as he sees you laughing with hattie, reaching over to fix a stray hair on edie’s head, and listening intently as mae chatters on about something you clearly don’t entirely understand but are genuinely interested in. he loves how naturally you fit in, like you’ve always been a part of this group.

nicole catches oscar’s eye first and gives him a small nod, a silent acknowledgment of how well this is going. it’s everything he hoped for, and he can’t help but feel grateful. he’s never seen you this comfortable around people you’ve just met, and it makes his heart swell with pride and affection.

finally, hattie nudges you gently and nods toward oscar, breaking you out of your conversation. you turn, surprised to see him standing there, looking at you with that soft, adoring smile you love so much.

“hey,” he says, sliding into the circle and wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt.”

you smile up at him, feeling his presence ground you even further. “you weren’t interrupting,” you say, leaning into his side. “we were just talking.”

he squeezes your shoulder and looks around at his family, grateful to see how quickly you’ve been embraced. nicole gives him a wink, and the sisters beam at you both, already teasing oscar about how he’s been replaced by you—and mae doesn’t hesitate to mention that you’re way out of his league and he better not screw anything up, making the entire group burst with laughter.

and for a moment, standing there in the middle of it all, surrounded by warmth and laughter, you realize you’re not nervous anymore. you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.

[edward-munson]

"Unspoken Desire" - Eddie Munson x Best Friend! Female Reader

Summary: You and Eddie made a bet and he wants you to pay it with a kiss. Turns out, kissing your best friend for losing a bet leads you into something else.

Note: I know no one asked me but I had this sudden idea of writing something quick to read.

Warning: SMUTTTTT, cursing, mention of kink, unprotected sex, kissing. +18 DNI.

Word count: ~2.1k

It was a lazy Saturday afternoon, and Eddie and you had decided to spend the day together at the local park. You sat on a bench, sharing a bag of potato chips as you watched kids playing on the nearby swings.

Eddie grinned mischievously and reached for the last chip in the bag. "You know, (Y/N), I've been thinking."

You raised an eyebrow, pretending to be uninterested. "Thinking? Dangerous territory, Eddie. What's on your mind?".

Eddie leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a playful whisper. "Well, I can't help but notice that you owe me something". You feigned innocence, tilting you head. "Owe you? For what, exactly?"

Eddie's eyes sparkled with amusement. "For that bet we made last week, remember?". You chuckled, recalling the bet you had made about who could eat the spiciest chili at the local food festival.

"Oh, that bet? You're not still upset about losing, are you?". Eddie's grin widened. "Upset? Nah, I just think it's time you pay up."

You crossed your arms, a playful glint in your eyes. "And what do you want as your prize, Munson?". Eddie leaned even closer, your faces almost touching.

"A kiss, (Y/N). One spicy, victorious kiss." You pretended to ponder this for a moment.

"Hmm, a kiss for a bag of chips? Seems like a fair trade". Just as you were about to share a kiss, a group of kids on the swings erupted into giggles and shouted.

"Ewww, cooties!", Eddie and you burst into laughter, pulling away from each other. Eddie winked at you, the teasing still in his eyes.

"Well, it looks like the playground jury has spoken. Next time, (Y/N), next time". You grinned back, feeling grateful for moments like these with your best friend. "You're impossible, Eddie".

As the sun began its slow descent below the horizon, casting a warm, golden hue across the landscape, you and Munson decided to go home. You grabbed a ride back with him in his van, having a conversation about random things while Van Halen was playing on the radio.

As he pulled by your driveway, he turns off the engine of his vehicle as you both sat in comfortable silence for a moment, savoring the end of the afternoon.

"Once again, safe and sound", he says as he rests his elbow on the steering wheel.

"Thanks again, Eddie", you respond as you get rid of the seat belt. "Oh, by the way. Are still on that bet?", you ask teasingly. You watch as he grins at your question, letting out an amused chuckle.

"If you're still okay with that, yeah". He says as he gets rid of his own seat belt, moving his torso to have a better look at you.

Edie's hand, strong and reassuring, gently cradled your face. His thumb traced your jawline, and your eyes locked in a shared moment of understanding and longing. The air was thick with anticipation as he leaned closer, your breaths coming faster and shallower.

With a whispered promise in his eyes, Eddie closed the remaining distance. Your lips met in a slow, tantalizing kiss. It began with a feather-light touch, a delicate exploration of each other's desires. Your mouths moved in perfect harmony, a dance of passion that deepened with each passing second.

Eddie's other hand found your lower back, pulling you closer as the kiss intensified. Your bodies pressed together, as you reached out for his curls, tangling your fingers against it.

In that stolen moment, time seemed to stand still. Your kiss was a symphony of desire, a silent conversation of longing and affection. The tip of his tongue started to swirl around yours and you couldn't help but let out a small groan against his plump lips.

You felt him smirk between the kiss, as he gritted your lower lip with his teeth before finishing it. You both broke the kiss and looked at each other with a slight hint of fun, even after a moment of intimacy.

"Wow, that was actually better than I expected", Munson said, resting his forehead against yours. You laugh softly and bite your lip.

"I just happen to be a good kisser", you play along, listening to his sweet laugh as he snorted.

"And you're also very cocky", he retorts with a side smile on his face. You only then noticed how hot you felt for him and how good he actually made you feel about just a kiss. It was supposed to be a playful one, but it ended up being way more than that.

Eddie cast a glance at you, who was still holding a hard stare at him and at his plump lips. You felt a sense of connection and understanding passed between you two, as if your souls were speaking in a language only you could comprehend.

"So, you wanna come in?", you ask timidly and watch him nod, already opening the van's door before he pulled himself out. He walked around the car to reach your side of the door, opening it for you.

He was always gentle, even when you were actually mad at him for something, or even after you argue about some nonsense. You knew Munson was a whore, because he would hook up with one girl after another on the same night and still brag about it.

You were never one to really feel interested about him, but in that case, his kiss ended up setting something up inside your guts you still didn't quite figure out. You walked in, turning the lights on as he made himself home.

Before you could even lock the door from the inside, he pinned you against it, leaning in and closing the gap between you. Your lips met in a gentle, yet electrifying kiss again. This time it was quick, but still with a passionate exploration.

Eddie's hand cupped your cheek, his fingers tenderly caressing the soft skin. Your arms encircled him, pulling him closer as your bodies pressed together against the door. He didn't hold back a husky groan as he thrusted his hip against your heated core and made you whimper.

"Oh, Eddie. You're about to ruin this friendship", you whispered. Before he could respond to you, he pressed his hips firmly against yours once more and chuckled against your mouth.

"Baby, if anything we're only making it become more entertaining". It was the tone he used and the sudden pet name that threw you off, making you pull him by the collar of his shirt as you rush to the couch.

You pushed him to sit on it as you turned the stereo on before doing a little strip for him. You were never ashamed of your showing body whenever you were at the pool or something related to that, but he probably never saw you in your lingerie all those years.

He widened his chocolate brown eyes to his sight, analyzing every inch of your bare skin, like your chest, neck and stomach. He helped you unzip your jeans, lowering the fabric as you kicked it off.

His big hand and calloused fingers grabbed both your thighs with tenderness, while he spread wide kisses across your body, lingering with his touch as he felt you shiver under his lips. You didn't want your body to react to him that easily, especially because he knows the effect he has on women in general.

Eddie got rid of his shirt and worked on his jeans pretty fast, showing you a glimpse of his hardened cunt pressed against his boxer. You know what you were about to do but, even then, you didn't feel like you wouldn't regret it.

You made him rest his back against the furniture as you leaned forward and sat between his legs, both knees on each side. You were still exchanging a heated gaze and you felt like you were about to lose your damn mind just feeling the way his skin grasped your ass.

His both big veiny hands squeezed your ass while you wrapped your arms around his neck. Placing a soft, but spicy, kiss just between his earlobe.

You heard him hiss, fanning your hair in a low and desperate breath, while his hands gripped tighter on you. "Fuck's sake, stop torturing me", he pleaded, his cock twitching under your core. You chuckled before sliding one hand down his stomach, finally pulling his aching dick out of the fabric.

The red, throbbing length was already glistening with precum and you slightly squeezed it between your hands, giving him a few seconds of relieve. It turns out you weren't bothered by not taking the lingerie off as you just slid your panties to the side, before aligning yourself with his cock.

Munson was still holding a gaze at you, trying to bite his moans from coming off of his mouth, enjoying the way you were lustfully looking at him as you rubbed his tip against your folds.

You were always one to never hide your emotions through sex, you would always be too loud, moan a lot and almost faint from breathing too fast.

The way his mushroom head entered you made you arch your back, and Eddie just about did the same, throwing his head back squinting his eyes shut from the pleasure that was attacking his entire body.

You made your way down on him fully and almost choked on the size, his cock spreading your walls slightly, burning it. You leaned yourself against him and grabbed his face with both hands, bringing him closer to you so you would kiss him.

It was a sloppy kiss as you were both moaning and gasping from the pleasure. He slid one of his arm around your waist, resting his palm against your lower back, while using the other hand to unclasp your bra.

The sudden rubbing of your nipples against his chest made him pound harder and hit your sweet spot. "Fuck, why haven't we done this before?", he mumbled while gripping your skin. You started riding him faster, trying to keep your pace but you were clenching too tight around him.

"I have no idea", you slurred, trying to formulate the words coming out of your mouth. He suddenly pulled a handful of your hair and assaulted your neck, leaving sloppy kisses, glittering the skin against his teeth, making you mewl his name.

"You love it rough, huh?", he teased against your ear, his tone just above a whisper. Munson felt your cunt tightening his cock and cursed under his breath. You could feel as he was chuckling from your response.

"Y-Yes", you say, biting your bottom lip. You meet his eyes for a moment and notice they hold both lust and kindness at the same time. He could be the most sluttest slut but he definitely was gentle, especially with you.

"Holy shit, baby. You're really tight, you're ruining me", Eddie cried out, squeezing your ass between his hands as he pumped inside of you. If he kept doing that for the next minute, you're going to hit your climax in a record time.

You're in between looking at him and closing your eyes enjoying your moment, as you keep riding him, rocking your thigh against his so perfectly. He can't stop curling his toes from the sensation you're giving him, and he placed one hand on your neck, his thumb pressed against your lower lip.

He doesn't mean it to be really sexual, but as a result, you use his digit as a lollipop and it pulls him out of his own bliss as he stares at you, eyes widened and brows furrowed. It gives him motivation to thrust against your core so hard you gasp between his finger.

"Jesus fuck you're so fucking hot", Munson grunts at the sight. It makes him hornier and hungrier for you. His dick is about to explode inside you and he didn't have time to warn you about that.

It was supposed to take longer than that, but the way you were sucking on his finger and displaying an erotic figure made him burst out. "Shit", he hisses.

You feel his hips stuttering under you, his cum warming your walls and you feel lightheaded, the shockwave of pleasure hitting you so strong and so fast you throw your head back. Eddie holds you tight and feel his length throb inside you with your reaction.

You're both panting loudly, staring at each other peacefully. You're still sitting on his lap, your cunt holding him lazily. Eddie pulls you for a tender kiss, licking your lips before pecking them for a slight second.

"What were you talking about ruined friendship?", he mocked. You both just knew it wasn't ruined. You felt too comfortable around him, and he felt too cozy under you, thinking to himself about the beautiful view he was having.

"I think we should make another bet", you retorted playfully, smiling at him. He wrapped both arms around you and rolled you over your couch, standing above you with a taunting grin on his face before he pulled you in for a passionate kiss.

[cloudcountry]

attention twisted wonderland fans! ortho has tasked you with an important mission—give his brother the best summer imaginable!

welcome to the introduction post for my new event! i am your host, auburn! you probably know me as azulashengrottospiano, but i've changed urls ^^;

this time, i'm attempting to bring people together instead of doing an event all by myself. you'll have to forgive me if it's confusing, i've never hosted something like this before but i'll do my best and i hope you guys will have fun!

both writers and artists are encouraged to participate!

RUN TIME: this event will run from may 27th to june 10th! but you are more than welcome to post your pieces before then if you are finished or after if something came up! we understand <3

TO SIGN UP: please comment or reblog this post with your name and what you're going to be making! you don't need to have a specific idea yet, you can just whether you're an author or an artist!

when finished, please tag your works with sweet shroud summer 2024 so people can have an overview of the event's wonderful talent!

the event rules . . .

no nsfw content, i want minors to be able to participate as well if they want to.

any content is welcome aside from that! it can be romantic, familial, platonic, it can include yuu or not!

just as long as idia is getting out of his room and having a good time C: make sure you treat him well or ortho will get upset!

the company policy is open to be modified if a customer brings up a question!!

contributors and their pieces will be listed under the cut.

OUR LOVELY CONTRIBUTORS!

auburn / cloudcountry - writer.

if you let me.

dove / da-birb-writes-sometimes - writer.

mess in chat >w^. mess at con.

edie / edith-is-a-cat - artist (mainly.)

art piece. written work. kitty. platinum jacket. idia & tsum. rainbow idia.

cookie / cookiesandbiscuits - artist.

at the beach art piece. hot day.

irene / officialdaydreamer00 - writer & artist.

flowers of a summer day. part 1.5. aimless outing. marionette on a string. board game club shenanigans.

cyath / cyath - artist.

identity / identity-theft-101 - artist.

he dropped his ice cream :( art piece.

mochimus / thatsadguymochi - artist.

at the lake art piece.

phrog / phrowog - artist.

gamer touches the ocean art piece.

sapphy / shinysparklesapphires - artist.

gamer touches grass art piece.

em / musicalhistorical - writer.

zell / z3llous - artist.

getting milkshakes. catching pokemon.

silver / rxttenbxnes - artist.

sosa / miraculous-pacer55 - artist.

monimich / monimichbeingsilly - artist.

pop up cafe.

kei / keii-starz - writer.

garden.

fruity / fruity-arts - artist.

moon / moon-mage - artist.

rubia / twistedchatterbox - writer & artist.

emily / walkingoneliner37 - artist.

idia and ortho at disneyworld!

ryker / ryker-writes - writer.

firefly.

mayuu / justyoureverydaytwstsimp - writer.

dani / xol-io - writer & artist.

arius / ariusthething - writer & artist.

a short visit!

daffodil / chocodaffodil - artist.

idia at the beach.

loser / loser-jpg - artist.

getting boba.

manoo / pop-sparkle - artist.

tropical idia!

yourfbiagen1 - artist.

idia meets hatsune miku

octahyde - artist.

she just got to the prince mush boss...

comingyourlugubriousness / artist.

fireflies.

[omegastation]

You go into this conversation with Javik and you have no idea what is going to hit you.

He talks about Shepard being resurrected, and what he means that he gets to "come back" and fight the Reapers. The difference to Javik is that Shepard got to come back to his people. Javik just comes back to the Reapers.

He asks Shepard about the crew in a very specific way: Are they the reason you continue to be living? And if you pick "Yes, they matter most", Shepard says:

My crew has become my family. We've stared death in the face more times than I can count. Things like that bind people together in ways I can't really explain.

And you go, oh. What a nice conversation. Very nice, good feelings, power of friendship.

Except it's ME3 and it's here to break your heart.

So Javik answers a simple "yes" because Shepard doesn't have to explain anything, he knows exactly what they mean. And he hopes Shepard will never have to do what Javik had to do to his own indoctrinated crew.

He was hunted by his own people, so at that point in the game we have to picture Garrus, Liara, Tali, Wrex, Kaidan/Ashley, Samantha, EDI, Joker, Miranda, Jack, Grunt, Kasumi, Jacob, Zaeed, Samara, James or even Anderson and Hackett going after Shepard.

I cornered my men and slit their throats one by one. I watched them bleed to death to be certain.

And it's meant to make us think about Shepard doing the same, having no other choice.

It was the day I understood: war is atrocity commited in the name of survival.

It is a lesson I wish I had never learned.

My interpretation here and it's only an interpretation, is that he's really saying, I'm the version of you who lived for my crew and look what happened. Look at this lesson I learned. So get ready and be prepared.

And it goes back to the very specific wording in his question. He's not just asking Shepard what motivates them. He's asking: Are they the reason you continue to be living?

And telling his story, it seems to me like he's saying that in his experience, living for the ones you love is how you lose the war. The enemies will take them from you, one by one. You should live for yourself, to survive, but leaving for yourself will mean, in the context of this war, that you will have to commit an atrocity.

It's really interesting to have this conversation with him right after the one with EDI, because EDI will figure out through her conversation with Shepard that self-preservation as a means in itself can disgust her. Javik here adds more layers to the whole story.

[letteredlettered]

What an interesting topic. I’ve heard that a large percentage of employees cite their bosses as the reason they leave their jobs. What are some ways companies try to mitigate this?

They don't.

I can really only answer for my company, which cared about retention (of employees) a lot. Many companies do, because it costs much less to recruit/onboard/train as little as possible, and because it can be hard to get the work done without adequate staffing. I'd add that my company had one area in which staffing was a nation-wide crisis; also my company was in the public sector and was in the press a lot, which mean they cared about their image.

They still didn't do that much to ensure that people had good bosses. That has less to do with this company and more to do with the structure of business in capitalist society. This is a big reason HR is never going to be that helpful unless you've got a tiny company that, completely by luck, has mostly good folks.

A company isn't going to take a generalized point about folks leaving their job because they don't like their bosses as fact. Companies feel they are too diverse and the financial risk is too great to pour money into something if they don't have hard data, so the first step to retention is getting data. You would think exit interviews would be really informative, but those require a lot of time which equals staff which equals money. Some employers do them but mine would only do one if you asked, and then they did nothing with the info. This is because the company's mentality was "well, if you're leaving you're probably really dissatisfied and we don't want to hear about that." I know this makes no sense. But in general, not just in the business but in this society (formed by capitalism), the idea seems to be if you're dissatisfied it's your fault. Meanwhile the company is interested in data about why people stay; they figure if folks are satisfied, that's the company's fault and they want to keep doing the same so they can retain employees.

Our company had a huge employee satisfaction survey they did every year that included questions about employee opinions about the company, their colleagues, and their bosses. You get emails to remind you to take it and if you can't get time in the workday, bosses are supposed to allow time for it. Some problems with that are you still have to remember to take it; if you don't have time you have to ask a boss you might not like to get that time; some folks at my company literally had jobs that literally are life or death so it can be hard to take time to take a survey; the survey is only in English; the survey is only in the computer; the reminders are only in email. So you have to be a moderately good English speaker who regularly checks email and knows how to use a computer and gets regular access to a computer for the company to get your data about your satisfaction. As you can imagine, our most vulnerable employees often get missed.

If the survey showed that folks were really dissatisfied with a particular boss, that boss got put into a series of trainings. Training is good, but US businesses (and plenty of employees themselves) seemed to have latched onto the idea that training is the be-all, end-all of improvement. Many of us saw this in response to the discussions about EDI (equity, diversity, and inclusion) that came about in 2020; business promised to be anti-racist and had some EDI seminars to prove it, and that was all. Why is it like this? What is really needed to make bosses better bosses? And why isn't that being done?

When it comes to "why is it like this": recruiting and retaining good leaders is hard. The way someone becomes a boss in almost any organization is a) management likes them, and/or b) they were good at a job in a lower level or different department, or c) they come from the outside with a good resume and what sounds like good experience. But a lot of time, management likes people who aren't disruptive, and sometimes folks who aren't disruptive are the folks who are not thinking for themselves and not asking questions and doing everything the way they're told even when it doesn't make sense. That doesn't make a good leader. As for folks who are good at the lower level job in the hierarchy or in another department, they aren't always good at managing. It's a different skill set, but I've seen a lot of leaders and employees make this mistake. They think that that the folks who are great at the job should be promoted, and honestly that really doesn't make sense. And last but not least, folks who get hired from the outside are a complete crapshoot, because experience with leadership does not necessarily a good leader make.

As for what is needed to make bosses better bosses, imo what you would really need is someone embedded within the department who is managed by the boss and is doing the same work as the other employees, but also has the training and experience to evaluate what the boss is doing well and isn't doing well, and then also has the authority and buy-in to work with the boss so that the boss can shadow and learn the leadership skills they need. Then, if the boss can't improve, there would need to be the will within the org to fire or demote that boss, and often that will doesn't exist because recruiting bosses is so hard and the training is usually monumental.

Side note, what I'm describing is what consultants should do and normally don't. Consultants come in and ask a lot of questions and do focus groups and maybe some observations, but they are not in there doing the work understanding what it is like to live in this world, and without that I frankly find a lot of the work they do useless. That said, consultants are almost always hired to identify inefficiencies; they're not really there to make it a more satisfying job. Imo, the greatest efficiency is a satisfied worker, but it is hard to get the data to point that way, and again, companies only want data, and again, your dissatisfaction is your own fault.

Another side note, this is why unions are so great. Union stewards are folks who work for the company but can act as a union representative. This means they're embedded in the department and doing the work everyone does, but they can also at times step outside that role and carry the authority of an outside entity that does have some power to use against the employer. This is why all employees should have a union.

So, why aren't companies doing this? As you can imagine, hiring the ambassador to embed within a department, training them, paying them for their time--all of these are just too cost prohibitive to justify when they only thing you're getting out of it is employee satisfaction. It is also possible to improve employee satisfaction by paying employees more, which is in fact why I stayed in this job I hated as long as I did. I was getting paid so much that it just did not make sense to walk away without a firm plan in place. In the end, paying employees more costs less than ensuring they have a good boss.

I have lots more to say about this, but I've said a lot already, so if anyone has follow up questions, feel free to send more asks.

[her-devils-advocate]

Sing me to sleep, I don't want to wake up on my own anymore

pairings: Femshep x Garrus

genre: fluff, comfort

summary: Raven Shepard is struggling to sleep with the nightmares plaguing her mind. Too nervous to head to Garrus for comfort after their discussion about reach and flexibility, she goes to spend time with Joker. Unaware that he is more than willing to play the wingman for them while they tiptoe around their feelings for one another.

Set during ME2

word count: 4,507

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59922712

The quiet padding of bare feet on the cold metallic floor guides her as Shepard floats around the Normandy, feeling more like a ghost than a human. All things considered, she probably looks closer to one as well.

It is late into the ship's night cycle, granting her peace as she stalks the near-empty mess hall, most of the crew have since retired for the night. Those who remain simply greet her with a respectful salute, being far too tired for small talk themselves. She prefers it at this hour, as it carries less risk of being questioned over why she's not taking the chance to sleep. She doesn’t want to have to come up with a plausible lie right now, nor does she want to open that can of worms in front of some poor crew member.

Shepard softly pads over to the coffee machine, feeling her oversized Alliance T-shirt rising along her thighs to reveal her shorts as she lifts herself to grab a mug. The t-shirt had been gratefully borrowed from Joker to avoid being branded by Cerberus during the hours she should be using to relax. Not that she puts those hours to much use, instead filling the gap between filing reports with copious amounts of coffee.

Just as she gets ready to prepare a new cup, the hot water steaming from the kettle, a smooth voice cuts through the silence and causes her to jolt in surprise.

"Dr Chakwas has recently asked me to alert her if you consume any caffeine during the hours you should be asleep, Commander." EDI’s metallic voice is gentle, yet Shepard can pick up on the subtle threat and she tries to conceal the shudder that rips through her. She doesn’t want to concern Karin, not with the already lengthy list of topics the other woman has been trying to broach with her as it is.

With a deep sigh, Shepard abandons the empty mug with a small wave of her hand, dismissing the AI's concerns as she continues to idly wander around the ship, already looking for more reasons to stay awake. It's not like she wants to forgo sleep every night, especially not when she has a somewhat new team to take care of, but she can't shake the cold feeling of nothingness that creeps up on her whenever she dares to close her eyes. Dying had left its mark on her. She can still feel its icy fingers gripping around her throat and on a particularly bad night, she can see the torn remains of her original ship when her eyes are closed.

Tonight had been one of those bad nights. She hadn’t been alone in her dreams however, this time her mind decided to make the event even worse than it already was. Instead, the nightmare featured Garrus alongside her. The two of them drifted silently towards Alchera while their oxygen supply quickly depleted. Even within the safety of the waking world, Shepard can still hear the muffled gasps that escaped him before she was left floating in silence, soon to follow. For the first time in her life, she is thankful that Garrus wasn’t by her side on that day. She’s not sure she could cope coming back to life, only to find out that he hadn’t been extended the same privilege.

For a brief moment, her eyes flicker over to the doors of the main battery, but she quickly shakes the thought from her mind. It would be selfish of her to risk waking Garrus just because she's uncomfortable in her own skin after the sixth nightmare of the week. She had already confirmed his vital signs with EDI upon awakening, letting the knowledge that he’s safe bring a small comfort to her pounding heart. Besides, the last thing she wants to do is to cause worry and potentially ruin the delicate start of whatever it is that's growing between them.

The flirting between the pair has since grown in frequency, moving from friendly banter into something more heated, and more meaningful. But she doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable, especially not with the weight of her position. She lets out a small huff of laughter, letting her head fall back against the ship's cool interior. If anyone could see past her calm and collected mask, it would be Garrus.

Shoving the desire for his comfort deep into the back of her heart, she lets her body carry her through the ship, occasionally swaying from the exhaustion. 

She eventually finds herself in the cockpit, the warm orange interfaces glowing within the dim space. Joker turns to greet her and whatever jest he has prepared on the tip of his tongue dies instantly when he glances her way. He watches with badly concealed concern as she drags herself to the co-pilot seat and all but throws herself into it, bringing her knees up against her chest while she curls into herself with a small groan.

“EDI, this conversation is classified and unrelated to Cerberus. So shoo for a moment and stop listening, or just pretend that you aren’t here and delete any logs that are being made, I don’t know. Just… shoo.” Joker’s tone is light, yet his voice is tinted with worry.

“Very well, Mr Moreau,” EDI announces before her blue hologram dies down, leaving the duo in silence.

“You know, I would make a joke about not realising how easy it would be to get some peace up here, but I feel like that trick was a one-time use.” He adds flippantly. Shepard gives him a small chuckle in response and shifts to rest her cheek against her knees, now facing him and for the first time since their reunion, he properly takes her in with a slight frown. 

“You didn’t need to send her away,” Shepard says slowly, feeling a small amount of pity for the AI.

He doesn’t bother to reply, instead, he continues his inspection. She can feel his eyes on her and she doesn’t want to imagine how much of a mess she must look like. She’s visibly exhausted, that much she knows is obvious, she’s also aware that her usually expressive eyes have since lost their gleam, leaving her much less lively. Raven knows what's coming, so before he can release an onslaught of bad jokes to distract her from her worries, she stops him in his tracks.

“It wasn’t your fault, Jeff. I know you’ve been carrying that blame for years now, I also know better than anyone that words alone won’t change a damn thing. But it was my choice and I don’t regret it.” Her voice is low and gentle as she completely drops the commander mask within the comfort of the cockpit. Joker clenches his fists, his nails digging into the flesh of his palm while he tries to argue, but no words dare to come out. The silence hangs between them for a moment before she continues, “Besides, how can you blame yourself for a death when the dead person is sitting here right now, alright and alive?”

She flashes him an awkward smile and she can tell he knows the angle she’s playing, using his own form of humour to diffuse the situation. A ticket out in case he’s not willing to let himself become vulnerable while he’s still expected to fly the ship. 

“Yeah, yeah, thanks, Shep. Did you come all this way to give me a midnight pep talk or are you serious about taking up that co-pilot seat? Cause no offence, I trust EDI more than you with that task.”

“Ouch. That hurts, Joker,” She says lightly, throwing her legs over the arm of the chair as she gets comfortable, ignoring the way he carefully tries to swat them off, “It’s my ship, so this is technically my chair as well. I can sit here if I want to. You didn’t complain when I came to hang out with you on the SR-1.”

“Yeah well, back then you would sneak me a coffee. You didn’t bring the peace offering this time.” He rolls his eyes at the bright laugh he lures out of her.

“I was about to make some coffee, but EDI would have snitched on me to Chakwas.” Joker doesn’t need to look at her to know that she’s pouting, shooting a playful glare to the AI who shouldn’t be listening.

“Probably because she knew you would have made two cups for yourself and then one for me. Speaking of… As much as I enjoy you gracing me with your presence, shouldn’t you be sleeping?” He doesn’t miss the way she freezes up, suddenly finding the distant stars more interesting than their current conversation, “Shep- Raven, when was the last time you slept?”

Her scoff cuts through the dull hum of the engines as she grows more frustrated by the question. Frantically, she runs her hand through the silky black hair that has since been released from its usual braid. She takes a moment to control her breathing and smothers the spark of annoyance before she tries to speak.

“I can’t.” 

He shrugs in response as he turns back to focus on flying the Normandy back to the Citadel to re-stock. She relaxes further into the chair, making the most of the soft leather while watching the stars twinkle around her. They are different here compared to the view from her cabin, they don’t seem to mock her down here. Her quiet musings are interrupted by Joker dramatically clearing his throat, she raises an eyebrow, urging him to get on with it.

“Well, I was just thinking,” he starts before being instantly interrupted.

“Oh no.” She deadpans.

“First of all, rude. Second of all, why did you come to me of all people?”

“What do you mean? I’ve known you since before the original Normandy, you’re like my brother by now, Joker.” She stares at him incredulously before being overtaken by a small yawn.

“That’s oddly sweet of you, sis, but I already knew that and it’s also not what I meant,” a small smirk appears on his face as he continues to stare straight ahead, “I’m just surprised you didn’t go to Garrus, that’s all. Considering you seem to take him everywhere, talk to him about everything, and funnily enough, you speak about him all the time.”

“Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration,” she mutters and bites the inside of her lip in thought. He wasn’t entirely wrong, but she wasn’t about to let him know that. Not that she needed to in the slightest. “I didn’t want to interrupt him, that’s all.”

“Ah, so you came to pester the one flying us through space at an unholy hour. Thank you, Commander!” Joker states cheerfully, ignoring the glare he can feel emanating from his right. He glances over at her again before they can settle into an easy silence, “Am I ever going to get that t-shirt back, by the way?”

“Nope.” She punctuates her point by tilting her head, her cheek now resting against the back of the soft chair as she stares at the flicking displays around her. The fluorescent interface captivates her and she finds her eyelids beginning to grow heavy.

As a comforting peace descends over the pair, she can’t help herself from thinking about Garrus once more. They had flirted a lot, a new and dangerous game of chicken where they were both more than happy to lose. Sure, she has a lot to say about the man to any who would listen, but his skills with his rifle are impeccable. No one could blame her for boasting about her squad, not when it has saved her life more than once. If she boasted about one over the other… well, maybe there was more truth to Joker’s words than she realised. She just hopes no one else has caught on enough to inspect too closely. The last thing she needs is a potential audience to witness her fumbling through her words and emotions. Doing it in front of him is daunting enough already.

Shepard’s bones feel heavy as the nauseating wave of built-up exhaustion washes over her, demanding her eyes to flutter shut despite her battles against it.

“I think I really like him, Joker…More than…” She confesses before succumbing to sleep, leaving the pilot in stunned silence.

Joker stares at her momentarily before giving a small eye-roll, spinning his chair to the side to watch over her.

“Yeah, kinda knew that already, Ravs…Glad you’re finally catching up. Hey EDI, can you get Garrus up here?” He waits for a moment, expecting the blue glow of her display to flicker to life, only to be met with nothing. “Seriously, EDI? You can stop pretending to not listen now and go tell Garrus to get his spiky butt up here.” “Understood, you should have started with that.” If she possessed a mouth, Joker would be certain she was smirking.

The steady hum of machinery floats around the main battery, grounding Garrus as he stands before the Thanix Canon, doing his best to ignore the aching of his limbs. He taps away at its amber screen, improving its firing algorithms and squeezing out the extra 0.23% he has been working towards all evening. He quickly flicks his eyes towards the time displayed on his visor, the vision becoming blurry as he confirms his suspicions with only a small amount of regret: he’s been working late into his off-duty hours again.

“If Shepard were to find out, she’d have a small speech about how I should look after myself more already prepared…” He mutters to himself, his mandibles fluttering out into a small grin.

Despite the weariness that has sunken deep into his bones after days of sacrificing sleep for survival, he’s still unable to keep himself still for more than a few minutes, not when there’s a new ship with even newer weaponry to inspect. Even though it’s been a handful of weeks, a part of him still can’t believe he’s stood within the Normandy yet again. Not after Joker had broken the news to him two horrible years ago and certainly not after attending the funeral of his best friend. Yet she was back, and so were all the complicated feelings he wanted to run from, ones that she always drew out of him the second she hovered into his line of sight. 

Feelings that no good turian would act on.

With a deep stretch, he takes solace in the shining walls of the ship, providing an old comfort as a sharp sting travels throughout his injured mandible. He tries to conceal his flinch, not wanting to agitate the healing wound more than he already has done, Spirits knows he doesn’t need that lecture from Dr Chakwas again. Before he has the chance to continue with his work, his six fingers hovering above the console and ready to inch closer towards that 0.25%, a smooth voice cuts through the silence.

“Officer Vakarian, Mr Moreau requests your presence on the bridge.” Her tone leaves very little room for argument as the hologram pops up in his peripheral.

“Right, thanks EDI.” He replies plainly before making sure to save his progress, not wanting something to mess it up and waste his hours of mind-numbing work.

The journey to the cockpit is uneventful as the ship silently floats through space, a skeleton crew working diligently through the night to keep everything running, even with the AI onboard. The rhythmic echo of his shoes against the metallic floor is his only companion as he lets his mind wander. Its destination rarely changes away from Shepard. 

The way her black hair, as dark as the void that surrounds them, swings behind her. Her hair always fascinates him whenever he sees her tie parts of it together, her fingers quickly weaving the strands together in a way that makes his head spin. Or how she bites the inside of her cheek, doing her best to hold back a smile whenever something amuses her when in “commander mode”. A part of him aches as he watches her lock more of herself away for the good of the many, leaning towards the icon they expect of her and further away from the human she is. Well, she does whenever they’re not together, he notes with a small amount of smugness.

His mind still comes to a screeching halt when he replays the moment she blatantly revealed her feelings for him as if it were easy, proposing a night together to push their friendship towards unknown territories. Except he knew her well enough by now to know she was just as nervous as he currently is. He could easily spot the nervous scrunch of her nose when she smiled up at him after the proposition. The same scrunch that appeared the day she became a Spectre, or the day he pitifully begged her to consider using the Mako’s breaks before they both got covered in krogan vomit. Her gentle words spoke of blowing off steam and yet her eyes screamed for more, for stability, and he couldn’t deny his own feelings that mirrored hers. 

He always was a bad turian, he thinks with a small snort. 

It’s not long before he is dragged out of his mind and greeted with the back of the pilot’s chair. He can’t remember the last time found himself in the cockpit. He never normally needed anywhere other than the crew deck, or the hangar unless they were docked. Before he can even announce his presence, the chair quickly spins to reveal Joker, a single finger against his lips while the other points towards the co-pilot's seat.

He cocks his head to the side in confusion before his cerulean eyes trail over to the corner, only to widen at the sight while his mandibles flick out in shocked amusement. Commander Raven Shepard is sprawled out within the wide chair, making the woman look oddly small in contrast. What’s even more shocking is the fact that she’s sleeping, deeply if her position is anything to go by. Her legs are thrown over the armrest in a way Garrus can’t imagine being very comfortable, while a single arm dangles off the side of the chair. Her chin is tucked tightly against her chest and her loose hair has fallen against her face, creating a small barrier to hide her sleeping expression from sight.

“Ah…”

“So you can see why I called you up here,” Joker adds, deepening Garrus’ confusion.

“To witness the fact that she can rest for more than twenty minutes at a time, without finding something else to do instead? Or did you need a witness to confirm that you’re not hallucinating and that she is asleep?”

“No, not that. Well… partially that, but that’s beside the point. Someone needs to take Ravs up to her room. Preferably before she wakes up with her muscle aching in five different places and I somehow get the blame for it.” Joker pauses for a moment, his eyes not once moving away from Garrus. “It’s not like I’m capable of helping her, even if she would let me. Which is why you are here, considering you’re the only one that she would let close enough in this state.”

Garrus opens his mouth to interject with a witty retort, but he struggles to find one. It’s not like he can lie to Joker. Well he could, but the man could also quite easily call him out on his bullshit. He never used to consider the Normandy’s pilot a friend, not back when they were nothing more than working together to hunt Saren down. Things slowly changed between them when they both lost her. One was wrecked with guilt, the knowledge that he had condemned his oldest friend. The other was wrecked with the loss of his only friend, torn from his side too soon.

He finds himself silenced as he stares down at her, completely unable to form a response and for a moment, he wonders if Joker can see the conflict. The deeply hidden fear that he will mess everything up and lose her once more.

“For what it’s worth… You have my seal of approval.” His voice is unnaturally soft and void of all humour. It’s not often that Joker shows his serious side, “You’re good for one another and work well together, you will make a scarily good couple.”

Garrus surprises himself with the relieved laugh that escapes him, only to be silenced by a low, harsh, shushing sound.

“I’m glad that you’re happy and all, but the last thing we need is a groggy biotic getting a rude awakening in my bridge. So if you can escort sleeping beauty back to her cabin before that happens, I would appreciate it.”

With a small roll of his eyes, he gingerly approaches the small corner of the bridge, lowering himself before her. From the new vantage point, he can easily see the cybernetic scars peeking through the shield of hair. They had already started to heal, finally letting the skin hide the harsh orange. A selfish part of him will miss them, even with the knowledge of her insecurity surrounding them. At least with them vanishing, it showed progress when it came to her letting herself relax, one less thing for him to worry about.

He slowly raises his hand and tucks the hair behind her ears. The black strands feel like silk within his fingers and flow like water when a stubborn lock escapes, hellbent on covering her. Garrus keeps his subvocals subdued, aware that Cerberus had given her an advantage in that department, despite the hum of contentment and adoration threatening to claw its way up his throat. Before Joker can open his mouth and ruin his mood, Garrus carefully places one arm under her legs while the other weaves around her back, easily pulling her into his arms. He slowly stands, turning to give the pilot a grateful nod before turning to make the trek back to her cabin.

Garrus takes his time as he enters the spacious cabin. Now that she is in his arms, he is reluctant to put her down. After lugging around a thirty-nine-kilogram sniper for hours on end, she weighs next to nothing in his arms without her usual armour. A small part of him wants to get used to the way her head rests against his cowl, the picture of comfort despite the way her cheek is pressed against his armour. 

He glances around the room as he advances deeper into her space, noting the dozens of datapads overtaking her desk before he lowers her onto the large bed. The thick duvet has already been thrown to one side, a clear sign of her previous attempt to rest. After draping it over her, Garrus hesitates, unsure if he is overstepping before a sudden burst of courage guides his hand and tenderly tucks her under the multitude of spare blankets she has collected. He doesn’t miss the way multiple of them cover the leather sofa, nor the pillows that had been taken from her bed accompanying them.

With a satisfied flick of a mandible, he turns to leave before a pale hand quickly shoots out from under the fabric nest, strong yet slender fingers wrapping around his wrist. He slowly turns and is greeted by two grey eyes staring up at him.

“You’re supposed to be asleep,” Garrus accuses, unsure of what else to say. “I didn’t tiptoe up here in heavy armour for you to wake up now.”

She gives a tired chuckle, her eyes crinkling with mirth as she snuggles deeper under the covers. “I could pretend to be asleep if it makes you feel better?” “I would prefer it if you were actually sleeping,” His eyes slowly trail back over to the sofa, “preferably in your bed.”

Shepard gives a noncommittal shrug as she follows his gaze, the remnants of sleep slurring her words. “I don’t wake to see stars over there.”

His eyes shoot up to the window above her bed and a chill creeps across his body. His subvocals share his discomfort and anger on her behalf and for a moment, he forgets that she can now pick up on parts of it. He awkwardly clears his throat, hoping it could contain his emotions. He gives her a strained smile, noticing the way she has begun drawing small, comforting circles into the smooth underarmour covering his wrist with her thumb.

“Well, next time we’re at the Citadel, I’ll find you a nice banner to stick up there instead. What do you want the design to be? Blasto? The Mako flying off the side of a mountain upside down?” He can’t help the joy that flutters in his chest when her laugh reaches him, her hand coming up to cover her face. “Hm, I’ll find something, I’m sure. You should try to rest until then, Shepard.”

She lets out a deep sigh, sinking deeper into the bed before tugging on his wrist. “Would you stay?”

Garrus feels his mind blank, not for the first time in her presence. 

“Not like that, I know we said we would wait for…that. It’s just…” She trails off, running a frustrated hand through her already messy hair as she looks for the right words to say. “I feel safe when I’m around you and even though I’ll probably still have a nightmare, it’s less daunting knowing you’re around.”

He watches as her face reddens with the confession, her fingers nervously twitching against his wrist as she waits for him. She averts her eyes, staring past him to watch the fish idly swim around their tank. He gently pries her fingers off him, the disappointment in her eyes sending a knife through his heart. 

He takes a step back before unlatching his chestplate. “I need to remove this armour first, I doubt you want cold metal pressed against you all night?”

“I’m sure I’ve slept against worse things during my time in the Alliance,” she mumbles half-heartedly before growing serious again, “thank you, Garrus.”

Garrus gives her a calm smile before he removes the rest of the armour, carefully placing it on one side of the sofa. He then slides under the covers with her, pulling her close to him. Her back is pressed against his chest while his hands rest over her stomach, holding her tight. She shuffles slightly, finding a comfortable spot on her side and he lets out a small hiss as her bare, and cold, foot brushes against his leg. She mumbles out a small apology before she gets lectured on how turians and the cold don’t mix, earning her a small grunt of acknowledgement. With the sounds of his quiet breathing and the steady hum of the fish tank, she finds her eyes growing heavy once more.

[chaosroid]

EDI has several questions

[fanonimus]

My brother is obsessed with TTG, and I am baffled. We binged it, and I looked around in the... Fandom? I know the show is lighthearted, but I'm a psychology nerd.

Tw: Abuse, neglect, shitty people in general, mind conzrol and trauma. Progress with caution.

Not many people talk about the abuse Robin faces. I don't understand why is there basicaly no angsty content.

I also want to scoop that boy up and hug him and take him away from those people that surround him.

This boy has no positive influence in his life. Get him a therapyst.

He's neglected. I was sick watching this.

WHAT THE HELL DUDE this was genuinely hard to watch, and even the colour coded idiots aknowledge how badly he was treated.

Oh but they don't get away scott free. The little idiots.

They constantly hurt him (which I noticed is a reocurring joke, but it happens to him so constantly that it's not even humour. It's just... painful.)

What the fuck was that prank?

Considering I know his backstory pretty well (look, I watch enough dc), this prank just makes me want to cry. He smiles. His smile broke my heart. I genuinely started crying, alonside Robin. It was not a nice experience.

So they clearly don't have a problem with triggering traumatic responses.

Robin is also almost always the butt of the joke, even tough he is the leader nobody respects him.

Which would be understandable if he didn't try his damn hardest. He's resourceful and can make the best of a situation.

Like the time he got dance powers (which is just amazing, holy shit I want dance powers).

He found great use of an othervise "useless" pover.

Speaking of useless, his "friends" look down on him because he has no powers. Even though he is capable of beating all of them without it.

Yknow, like in the movie.

Oh yeah, nice recall to the movie the one where they competed with the Super Hero Girls team (love that show).

Y'know, where it started like this

And ended like this in like, five seconds.

Abandonment issues go brrr:

He's my angsty boy.

Also, the fact that he answered mind control on the last question, and it wasn't even on the board, broke something in me.

Him being a "control freak" is also played up for jokes, which I personally hate, but you can also go with the route of the Titans just not listening, ever, and Robin, still raised by the batman even if differently than in canon, in a city where if you are not on top you are dead, it's obvious that he developed an instictive need for control. He had gotten used to being on top of every situation, so when he felt that control slip, he grasped it and held on. This behaviour is not good, but he can't help it, and without proper consuling, he won't be able to stop this behaviour. He could, if he just let go of the illusion of control he clings to, a safety net, and we all know one can not simply just do that.

(I was someone people called a "control freak". I worked on myself, and I changed, but it took years after I noticed. Letting go is the hardest thing people like me and him can do because letting go means losing control, and that can be the scariest thing in the world. So I have experience, yes.)

(Yes, I also have experience. No, I am not going to talk about it, but it wasn't physical, don't worry)

For the hitting... Wild hot take and shit: Since Batsy was not a stellar dad, he kept robin in line by means not so family-friendly. (He hit his kids in canon, it's really OOC for him, but we have proof that happened) And it was really effective. Children of abusive parents go a lot of ways, but repeating the parents' mistakes is one of them. So maybe Robin decided that violence might be the thing to keep his teammates in line. (We are circleing back yeah.) But it clearly didn't work.

Edit: Holy shit I just realized that this Robin is all of the worst qualities of the other Robins. Obsessive, Controlling, full of himself, violent, and then throw their insecurities into there too (Abandonment issues, parental issues, anxiety, paranoia). Holy lady.

Edit2: Thank you, Yurki-posts, for pointing out some things my little rant was missing. I shall update it now.

[average-mako-enjoyer]

Mass Effect LGBTQ+ representation issues and some headcanons

I've seen a few Mass Effect posts about the sexuality of the trilogy's characters, and I'd like to add my 5 cents, since none of those posts take into account the whole xenophilia aspect of canon relationships. And some of us are here for it. For the aliens. I am here for them. I'm not sorry.

Also, I have to acknowledge the fact that Bioware has made some very questionable choices, and the in-game representation is bad. Like BAD-bad.

I.E.(this list is going to be looong):

All Male Shepard/Kaidan Alenko dialog for ME1 and ME2 was written and fully voiced, but NOT INCLUDED in the final version of the game. And I know that the same thing happened to FemShep/Ashley, but that a bit different because...

The only "gay" romances in ME1 and ME2 are for femShep, and either with a female-representing human-like aliens (who like to dress in tight clothes that emphasize the size of their breasts), or with the equally feminine Kelly Chambers in ME2. Because, you know, guys who buy this game will be more tolerant of two "hot chicks making out" (insert a bunch of mods that make your femShep wear only lingerie and look like a TikTok e-girl) than a more realistic same-sex romance.

Especially when this romance is between two guys. Because ew. Right, Bioware? But you also wanted to sell your games to LGBTQ+ folks, so you installed a…

… so-called "gay button" into your games.

Before ME3, no one except for "hot chicks asari" states their sexuality. You can go through two entire games as a straight character completely surrounded by other completely straight characters. Oh, maybe Kelly likes aliens a little too much, but "who doesn't like asari", right? Even asexual salarians are into them. Sure, a straight woman like femShep…

"Hot chicks making out" really sells those game copies, I guess.

If you think ME3 is better, think again. The only two gay characters in the game are Cortez and Traynor, and they are both supporting characters, who are not even in your squad!

Cortez and his whole "I lost my husband" drama is conveniently placed on the lowest deck of the ship, so if this story offends your bigoted sensibilities, you can just ignore him along with the "dumb jock" Vega who is really unpopular with the players. Is it because he's really friendly with an openly gay character? Oh, who knows?

Meanwhile, Traynor is either mocked (oh, she found EDI voice hot and commented on that! what a shame! awkward lesbians, amirite?) or fetishized (don't get me wrong, Donnelly is funny, but his remarks about Traynor are even more yucky than the way he talks about EDI and lube).

But don't get mad about all this, because all the women in the trilogy are fetishized and heavily sexualized. The best example of this is Samara, whose character design is a war crime.

Bioware made Benezia look horrible (she tried to make Saren change his ways not with her power or wits but with those giant bazooms and the cleavage, I guess), and then they doubled down in ME2 and gave a warrior samurai nun a boob window. A FUCKING BOOB WINDOW. Because boys buy games, and they love boobs, y'know.

Oh, and any inappropriate remarks made by NPCs in the game are directed only at the femShep. Just like the MShenko romance, the male version of the dialog is fully voiced, but conveniently excluded from the game. Because guys can't tell other guys that they look hot in "that soldier getup". That can make bigots uncomfortable.

And let's talk about bi representation, because Bioware apparently hates bisexuals as much as straights and some queers do (trust me, as a bisexual I've experienced both types of hatred, and it's ugly). The only bisexual characters in the game are Kaidan and Diana Allers.

If you're a bigot playing as the maleShep, you can "safely" kill Kaidan on Virmire in the middle of the first game and not have to deal with his uncomfortable love confession at all!

So, yeah, Bigots: 1, Representation: 0. The bisexual is successfully killed, congratulations!

If you play as femShep, you won't even know that Kaidan is/was bi. Because who wants a bisexual guy who is comfortable with his sexuality? You can't sell that kind of romance to the good ladies who buy this game.

Diana Allers romance, meanwhile, is laugh-worthy. If you play as maleShep, you won't even know that she's bi. And if you're femShep, this romance is as insignificant as the one with Kelly, you won't even get an achievement for it! You can also kick her out of your ship without any consequences, so she will be KIA offscreen. You will find about it via fucking email. Bigots: 2, Representation: 0. Both of dirty bisexuals are successfully killed, congratulations!

The bi-xenophile Kelly suffers the same fate: no achievement for her romance, you cannot continue the romance after ME2, and she will either take a poison pill and die or be killed in the Collector's Base/Citadel offscreen in ME3. If she survives both the base and the Cerberus attack, you won't even get to say goodbye to her before the final battle of the game. Bigots: 3, Representation: 0

9. And I almost forgot about Omega DLC that kills the only female turian in the game. Who's also into asari. God, they did her dirty.

"Those were different times," you might say, but all of this could have been fixed in 2019, when the Limited Edition was released. Instead, we just have fellow modders changing the design of Benezia and Samara, restoring MShenko (one of the most healthy, respectful, and mature romances in the entire trilogy) and other gay romances in the game, making all NPCs flirt with your character, adding female turians and krogans to the environment, etc., etc.

Still, I think these games are great. The characters, the cinematics, some aspects of the writing, great! I love that canon. But the LGBTQ+ representation in those games sucks. Big time. But that doesn't stop me from having a bunch of headcanons. For the sake of convenience, I'm going to separate out all the characters for the games in which they debut.

Mass Effect:

MaleShep/FemShep: Both are canonically bi. Both don't mind the alien physiology thing and polyamory. Both are "married to your job" type, so they were okay with casual sex and one-night stands, and only mellowed out while in charge of the Normandy crew. Because of convenience, both had more hetero than same-sex hookups.

Ashley: Straight as a plank and xenophobic, but not homophobic. She's definitely into maleShep, but more into the idea of him as a sole survivor/war hero/butcher of Torfan than an actual person.

Garrus: He likes turian and quarian women. And both fem and maleShep. But with maleShep, he's more busy with the whole "flirt him to death" aspect of their bromance, so there's really no time to get on the floor and get dirty.

I also feel that turian society in the game is very patriarchal, so Garrus has a bias towards femShep and feels less restricted by her rank. With mShep, I think he would have only acted if mShep had specifically pursued that relationship. But mShep is also more interested in just flirting with Garrus.

Kaidan: Canonically bisexual (more into women) and demi. Not into aliens, but not xenophobic. Not a stranger to casual sex, but would really prefer to go steady because #introverted and has enough problems already. "How can you flirt with all these people, Shepard, it's exhausting…"

Liara: She's into both versions of Shepard. And maybe a bit into one drell. Classic demi/asexual. Also, imo, all asari are agender and Liara is not an exception.

Tali: Is a mess and can definitely go cross-species (her romance with Garrus is canon, after all). She's also a massive nerd and a bit kinky. I think she's into human/turian/quarian males, but maybe this femShep really is THAT SPECIAL.

Wrex: Krogan women - that's his sexual orientation. Real bros with mShep, more cautious with femShep because bias. Another "married to his job" character.

Joker: Straight and nerdy. #Irony. Too cool for homophobia.

Chakwas: More married to her job than anyone on this list. Cool lesbian aunt.

And this post is already so long that I'll make a separate one for ME2 and 3.

[sevensoulmates]

I’m interested to hear your thoughts on Tim saying in that recent interview that the choice to bring Marisol/Edy back was Ryan’s. We’ve seen how deeply Ryan understands Eddie, so I’m wondering why he specifically wanted that character back who has less than zero chemistry.

Mmm. Well, there's been a lot of talk going around about storylines being switched up. Apparently, both Buck AND Eddie were in talks for this coming out storyline (which--I'm still mind blown that this is info we even know). So obviously, there had to have been SOME conversations with Ryan about it.

It seemed to me like Tim's original plan was Natalia because he said he wanted to do something with her (not necessarily keep her around for a while, but give them an ending story arc). When the actress declined to come back, I think his second plan of action was Lucy. Okay, Lucy comes back and what? They explore a relationship? Idk. But when the actress ALSO couldn't come back and Tim was looking for someone else, I think the idea of bringing Tommy back led to a question for Tim: do I have him with Eddie or Buck?

Tim also says in the latest interview that he couldn't just have both of Buck and Eddie's love interests fizzle out over the hiatus, which says to me that Tim probably wasn't all that interested in Marisol either. I think that if Natalia had stayed as originally planned, Marisol would've been the one written out.

Lou said that from his first call with Tim, he was aware that his character was going to be gay and getting with one of their two main single men. I think that probably their earliest conversations was about him being with Eddie. And if Tim was talking to Lou about Eddie, I'm nearly positive the conversations had already happened with Ryan.

I think that the original plan from Tim was to have Eddie's arc this season be getting with a man, Buck's being with Natalia, and maybe having Lucy come in to once again throw in a wrench. But no Natalia led to Lucy possibly being his main LI. But no Lucy meant that now Tim was in a lurch with Buck. What can he do with him? Well, if the plan was always to get Buddie together eventually, and to have both characters have a coming-out arc at some point, they can do a switcheroo.

I think most likely Ryan suggested Marisol because he was aware that they were in a lurch for Buck, and probably because he felt the storyline fit better into Buck's story at the moment than Eddie's.

Tommy can get with Buck, and have Buck be the one to realize he's queer first. It makes sense because while Buck may be oblivious to his own feelings, he's not repressed like Eddie.

We still have Marisol around so we can use her as a backup and as a vehicle to have Eddie continue to deconstruct his compulsory heterosexuality, which in the end, Ryan probably realized was a story that needed to take its time to be scrutinized and handled well. He's aware that all of his past love interests (Ana and Marisol) have been "filler" in his words. He probably wanted to suggest that Marisol finally be given a bit more so that Eddie can actually LEARN something from these relationships instead of just the unending cycle of date random woman -> break up with random woman, ya know?

So, to answer your question, no. I don't think Ryan specifically asked for Marisol to come back because he particularly loved the character and wanted her around in his storyline. I think he recognized that there was somewhere his character could go with Marisol that would be interesting and fit his character arc and so he suggested it and Tim agreed.

[daramdarararam]

kwentong malibog blogpost

well, umuwi akong probinsya, syempre holiday break na uwu. sobrang dami ng pasahero, so pahirapan makaupo sa bus buti nalang wala pang katabi si kyah so sa kanya ako tumabi.

sobrang lakas ng appeal nya tas sa windows seat ako, so sinisiksik nya ako in a way. tas ung balikat at ung tuhod at binti namin nagkikiskisan haha. medyo nawweirduhan ako nung una pero nakahalata na ako kasii parang sinasadya nya na akala lo kasi gawa lang ng yugyog sa bus. nagkakailangan kami, hindi ko alam if trip nya ako pero ugh sarap... alam nyo ung may sexual tension, parang may magnet sa pagitan nyo?, apaka libog ko lang talaga siguro. naglalapat na kamay namin tas pati hita. and nung medyo malapit na kami bumaba mga 30mins bago ung sa 2nd to the last na babaan, alam kong g na sya. so nilagyan ko na ng space sa may pants ko para malamas nya. and boom. hinawakan nya na bukol ko, and pumunta sya sa butones ng pants ko, signa para tangalin ko, syempre tinanggal ko kaso hirap na hirap ako kasi anlaki ng bag na kandong ko. so medyo ipinasa ko sa kanya ung bag HAHA. hinawakan nya bag ko gamit isa nyang kamay. then, tangina nilabas nya ung etits ko, at sinimulan nya ng jakulin. tangina saraaaaaaap. sobrang sarap nung kamay nyang humagod, like unh kamay nya kasi pang mga batak sa physical activities mukhang nagggym pero dilo sure tas medyo tisoy sya. tingin tingin kami sa paligid baka kasi may tumayo bigla. tuloy pa din sya pagjajakol sakin. sarap nilalaro nya ung butas ng titi ko kasi nagpprecum na ako. tangina talaga. medyo ibinaba ko pants ko buti di ako naka brief pero mahirap talaga ijaks kase ang sikip so sabi nya ako na raw magjaks gusto nya daw makitang labsan ako. tas ayon sya na humawak sa bag ko, ginamit nyang pantambing para di makita sa kabilang side. tangina habang nagjajaks ako, nilalaro nya utong ko. fuckkkkk sheeet talaga. pogi nya gago angganda nung mata tas alam mong submissive tangina. sarap tas biglang nilalapat ko bisig ko sa kanya bilang signal na lapit nako, tangina pinanuod nya ako nilalabsan dumidila amp. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

funny part tangina talaga. haha andami ko nilabas so ang ginawa nya, binuksan nya bag nya, kinuha nya tshirt nyang kulay pink. bwhahahaha ginamit ko yon pamahid sa tamod bwhahaha! pero shet tangina saraaap!

hahaha tawa ako ng tawa tas, kinuha ko na bag ko haha. sabi ko, "sorry ha?!"... biglang hinawakan nya kamay ko tanginaaaaa HINOLDING HANDS AKO NI GAGO BWHAHAHAHAHAHA TANGINAMO HAHAHAHA ANG RUPOK KO PA NAMAN PERO TAWA NALANG AKO. AFTER A FEW MINUTES BINITAWAN NYA DIN. then bigla kinuha nya body spray tas inispray nya sa kamay nya at sa kamay ko kasi antapang daw ng amoy e bwhaha.

tas ayon nilabas nya phone nya, binuksan nya FB tas pinasearch nya fb ko. edi go ayon nimessage nya ako. tas inaccept ko sya. tas nag kwentuhan na kami, tinanong ko san sya papunta ganyan, hahahaha nice nice! tas nagpagusapan work ganyan. tas age. sabi nya pokpok raw sya. haha di ako naniwala. then sabi nya sa casino raw sya nagwwork. make sense haha gwapo e hahaha, tas medyo questionable style nya hindi sya judger pero ung get up nya kasi lowkey na ewan, alam nyo ung escort escort? haha ganon sya. fit katawan haha tas sobrang ganda ng mata and gwapo as in haha!!

sobrang sarap pala majakol sa bus tanginaaa now i know how it feeels hindi na sana all!! bwhaha! another check sa bucket list!! hahahaha! nagchchat chat kami kanina and while ago haha. well feel ko nagpapabooking talaga sya e haha. and mukhang magkikita pa kame nekshir🫣😆🫣🫣

HAHAHAHAHAHA HAYNAKO THE REST IS HISTORY BWHAHAHA TAMA NA MASYADO NA KAYONG MARAMING NALALAMAN. ANG SAAKIN LANG, EXPLORE LANG TAYO NG EXPLORE HANGGAT KAYA, SAFE AT KUNG SAAN KAYO MASAYA HAHAHA AYON LANG GOODNIGHT!

[tibbycaps]

What's something you have wanted to talk about involving your ocs but haven't gotten to cuz no one has asked, or it hasn't been relevant to conversation?

Also, you're so cool! You're an amazing artist and make really entertaining videos!!

god sorry i didnt answer this right away i’ve been thinking about it but i dont KNOWWW bc i yap about kyle so much to my fellow hollowbrook homies

i think one thing i like to talk about with kyle is how loyal and dog coded he is to me. kyle feels like the world has let him down and doesnt respect authority like teachers parents cops etc but he puts all of his faith in people that he deems to be good. his new friends show him an ounce of kindness & understanding regarding his situation and his unhealthy lonely lack of self preservation ass is like ok ill die for u now ☝️ its a trait i love in characters bc its both incredibly endearing and also unhealthy and Doomed to Cause Issues.

when i play him, i like to show that he looks up to the other members of the party by having him subtly picking up things they do (edie says something that kyle thinks is quite smart, and he later uses the exact same explanation when he has to tell bill about it) or in combat, he’s either running off with a stupid idea or waiting to see what the others do first. during the last battle they had, he kinda takes the lead getting into the building & running off a bit to try and find anything useful, and when that doesn’t rlly pan out he stays hidden and waiting for someone else to leap into combat; when they do he immediately follows. IDK RAHHH you can ask me questions about kyle 5ever i love him dearly ty very much for the ask :D

[swaps55]

So I like mass depression apparently and have to ask about some dark multiverse timelines. Take the ME3 Citadel Coup showdown and Kaidan ends up getting shot. How would Sam cope? Now there's zero chance he'd pull the trigger as he'd always choose Kaidan over the universe but how would his relationship be affected with whoever would pull the trigger. If it was Edi, would it negatively affect how Sam treats the Geth on Rannoch? Would James get kicked off the ship (and pissibly most likely by Garrus)?

With the Opus universe I struggle to see Liara or Garrus doing it but this is a dark timeline so maybe Garrus tries to snipe past him and missed...er...um... at least missed the intended target.

Ooooooh, some fun questions here to ponder.

You're right. Sam would never pull that trigger, under any circumstance. (The fact that deep down, under the direst of circumstances, Kaidan might be able to is a whole other fun thought exercise.)

If any of Sam's squad were to step up and do it, you want me to shock you? I think it would be Garrus. Garrus is the least aware of just how important Kaidan is to Sam. (He knows, but he doesn't get it the way Liara or Tali do.) He's the most likely to take matters into his own hands.

I don't see EDI doing it, as she hasn't ever demonstrated any desire to override the decisions of others, and my version of EDI and Sam have a pretty powerful dynamic. Though I suppose it's possible she would interfere and do what she thought she had to prevent Sam from being rendered non-functional.

Would he blame the geth? No. Sam has inherent biases like anyone else, but on the whole he's always been pretty good and not blaming an entire group for the actions of a few individuals. He doesn't have warm fuzzies about batarians, but he also doesn't hate every batarian he sees because of what happened to his father or at Torfan.

But regardless of who is responsible for Kaidan's death, Sam would walk away. The fate of the galaxy is now someone else's problem. He's given everything he has, and the galaxy took the one thing he couldn't give, so the galaxy will get nothing more from him.

Would he leave a wake of destruction on his way out? Probably. But then you'd probably never hear from him again. He and EDI would just set a course for a distant star and see how far they could get.

If you really want Dark Side!Sam, I think you can get him during the events of ME2/Mezzo, but the path to get there involves some spoilers.

I have listened to this song a lot, thinking about the darker road Sam could have taken.

[sgiandubh]

Mordor says He returned only for Visa reasons. They did some math and understood that Sam had been there for almost 90 days, só It was time for a quick walk home.

Dear Visa Anon,

Which Mordor luminary came with this idea? The MENSA-level CRT Clique or Miss Marple, who thinks I know nothing (the Dimwit from Madrid is still learning how to spell, so I can't believe it's her)?

Regardless. These people should immediately stop watching Ninety-Day Fiancé on their cable network, following a severe overdose on Uzbek midgets and Egyptian gigolos 'looking for true love' stories.

Maybe they could also have checked their facts before solemnly stating bullshit, since they clearly think all the visitors to the wonderful U S of A are tourists and as such, entitled to a maximum 90-day stay at a time (and then a short hike to Tijuana or Canada and back on tracks: not EDI/GLA, FFS!).

Incidentally, may I remind these geniuses that S has been spotted only near EDI, which of course would mean for them he'd be getting his visa there. Unless...

Unless you know the US General Consulate in EDI does not issue any type of visas - LOL, idiots. And unless he'd need to be in LHR for the pre-appointed interview and then another 7 working days delay for processing and 1-3 working days for passport delivery by mail only (never in person, chickadees). Doesn't really click with timelines, Madam Expert.

Because they are all very intelligent, they also forgot everything about/never bothered to look for the new-ish ESTA system (https://www.handyvisas.com/esta-us-visa/british/), especially designed for Visa Waiver countries' citizens. So I insist: if traveling as a tourist, S does not need a visa to enter the US for up to 90 days - that is correct, but by no means applicable to S's reality. And if he knew he'd need to stay more than 90 days, he would have applied for a visa - mandatory - in London before the Summer of Sassenach tour.

But he is not traveling as a tourist and very probably not under another type of non-immigrant visa, simply because he has businesses there and he is also involved in the OL project with *** (d'oh!).

Let's unpack:

As per US current regulations, S cannot apply for a B-1 (business non immigrant visa). To understand why, kindly refer to the US Customs and Border Protection FAQ (https://www.cbp.gov/sites/default/files/documents/B-1%20permissible%20activities.pdf). I already munched it up for you:

He could only apply for a O-1 B immigration visa, for which his agent or employer should mandatorily petition the US Citizenship and Immigration Services. These are special visas designed for the individual who (...) has a demonstrated record of extraordinary achievement in the motion picture or television industry and has been recognized nationally or internationally for those achievements. This is very subjective and a contract with * should be enough - I was in a taxi when I received your ask and immediately checked with a friend from the US Consulate, to indulge you. And all this hassle just because a Tumblr Nobody has flatulent opinions, huh?

According to the USCIS's own regulations, not Dutch fantasy or Belfast sagas, the authorized period of stay and possibility of extension are as follows (https://www.uscis.gov/working-in-the-united-states/temporary-workers/o-1-visa-individuals-with-extraordinary-ability-or-achievement):

The good thing about getting this visa (and I think * sorted it out a long time ago for both of them) is that it helps tremendously with the Green Card procedures, something I bet the farm both S & C already have, by now.

So doing the maths was perfectly inane and useless.

Does that answer your question, clever Anon? Can I go back to the Quaich post I must finish (it will be VERY long, beware) today?

Thanks for asking and I am sorry for the length: this fandom being paranoid, I had to include all the tedious details. I hope we can put this idiocy to rest, now. Parochial twits.