#edgy but ive been feeling it lately

[sc3n3kitt3h]

doodles !!!!

[snazzi-strawberri]

Oouuu kinda wanna make another side blog where I just reblog a bunch of wierdcore edits...

[so-very-small]

size posting is a lil hard sometimes bc like. whats the tw for “this probably doesn’t deserve a tw but also a lot of people into size, myself included, use it as a coping mechanism or comfort interest, and as such some are uncomfortable with mature or dark topics directly involving size. but also this is a mundane joke that wouldn’t be seen as anything edgier than general tumblr humor. it’s not intense content. it’s just a joke referencing sex/death/whatever. but i don’t want to upset anyone either accidentally. i know a large amount of people in the size community have particular boundaries and follow me for a certain niche and i want to respect that”

post made unrebloggable by a wizards curse, and im not like genuinely upset by this; i just have a banger of a post in the drafts but how do you TW a garbage disposal mention.

[tatoasting]

Now im the dumbass who said "I'm so cute you better claim me for real before I get lost out here" and then made a very serious comment about our shared hesitation for monogamy and that we could hypothetically work around that. I sent that after they went to sleep and then followed it up a few hours later by saying that in less serious news I am watching Bluey and its cute. I added this just in case they didnt want to address what I've just said bc we do have plans to hang with a friend tomorrow afternoon and I will not be awake for long before then so like uhm. Yeah. Idk why I'm getting so impatient to have the conversation. I think I just realized how much I like them recently and idk, I want to be able to call them mine, which is idk. I know they arent big on the whole feeling like they belong to someone, because they belong to themselves first and foremost but idk, the idea of being able to call them like... my girlfriend. And it be true. Woah. And like, maybe thats why they say it jokingly so often but like aaa!!! It would be so nice to say that idk!!

[generationa1trauma]

for Years i could not tell d.ov.e cam.er.on and sa.bri.na car.pen.ter apart

[asairayn]

Just to clarify! When I, and I assume I speak for most teenage-emo-depressed-anxious-mentally-ill-disabled-whatever else people, say that "nobody understands me," in general it is not saying that "nobody has ever shared my experiences and I am completely unique in my struggles," but rather "everybody who I describe my ------- to misunderstands/downplays/ignores/compares to something unrelated and assumes that is correct/etc."

There is a difference.

When you tell someone about your struggles, about your mental health, about something important, and they completely misunderstand or downplay it, that takes a toll. Even if only a couple people do that, while everyone else is compassionate (if not fully understanding, because it is rare that we can truly understand each other), those few bad experiences stick with you.

"Nobody understands me" has become a stereotypical attack on "emo teenagers," a way of making fun of them for assuming they are completely unique.

Sometimes, it really does feel like nobody understands you. Sometimes it feels like nobody ever will.

Not everyone can explain their struggles in a way people can understand. Not everyone has people willing to understand.

Sure, some of the people saying "nobody understands me" are truly just exaggerating, but assuming that everyone who says it is "just emo" or an "edgy teenager" completely ignores everyone who has never had someone there who understands.

Everyone who needs someone to understand.

[moonstruckme]

i am so BUMMED when i realized ive read all of your polymarauders works. can i get more of them please? especially the one like the 'casual dominance' fic omgg. that one made me feel THINGS. btw!!! congrats on reaching the 1k mark. totally deserved <33

-🥀

Wow babe, that's a lot! I'm really glad you're enjoying them! I know I've written a few since you sent this in, but I decided to treat this as a request for specifically casual dom!marauders because I'm weak for them too :*

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1.1k words

Your teeth chatter as you step out of the fastest shower of your life, barely drying yourself off before starting on your makeup. You’re so dumb. You’re so, so dumb. Of course it’d be the night before your presentation that you’d accidentally set your alarm for PM instead of AM. How many times had you stirred, thought about getting up, and decided to wait until your alarm went off? It had only been when you’d woken to an empty bed, sunlight coming in through the window, that you’d realized. 

You’re still running on the adrenaline of that waking jolt, now mixed with the extra edginess from your frigid shower since you couldn’t afford to wait for the water to warm. You probably won’t be late, but you’re definitely going to be late by pre-presentation standards. You’d planned to get there a half hour in advance to set up and mentally prepare. Now you’re going to have ten minutes at best, and that’s only if you can get out the door in the next few. You finish with your makeup—your hair’s just going to have to dry on the way—and turn to where you’d hung your pre-selected and Sirius-vetted presentation outfit the night before. The hangers sit empty. 

You go into the bedroom, hoping one of the boys had laid them out on the bed while you’d been in the shower. Nothing. Just your socks and shoes where you’d left them by the bedroom door. 

“Shit,” you mutter to yourself, pulling the socks on because you can do that, at least. “Shit shit shit!” 

You take off down the stairs, relieved to see Sirius on his way up. “Hey! Do you know where—” your foot hits too close to the edge of one step, slipping down to the next. It seems inclined to keep going, but Sirius’ hands catch you around the waist. 

“Shit, baby.” He looks down at your feet as you get them under you again, eyebrows drawn together. “Running down the stairs is already bad enough, but with socks on?” 

“Do you know where my presentation outfit went?” you ask in a rush. 

Sirius blinks. “No. It’s not where you left it?” You shake your head and decide this conversation is no longer a productive use of your time, moving past him. “Don’t run,” he says after you, and you slow to a slight hustle down the remaining steps. 

You practically skid into the kitchen, where Remus is just about to sit down at the table with his cup of coffee and James is running the blender. You raise your voice to be heard over it. “Do either of you know where my presentation outfit went?” 

James stops the blender. “Morning to you too, sweetheart. Everything okay?” 

You feel like you could burst into tears, but that would just waste more time. Why is no one cooperating with your need for efficiency?

“I’m going to be late!” you stress to James, turning around to survey the kitchen, the living room, like they’ll just be hanging in some random corner where you somehow forgot them. “I need my clothes, have you seen them?”

“Dove.” Remus sets his coffee down to take you by the shoulders. “Breathe. You’ve got time.” 

You exhale, trying not to twitch as your skin crawls with urgency, or to lecture him on how little time you actually have. Remus watches you patiently. His hands slide up to either side of your face once you no longer seem like a flight risk, thumb stroking your cheek. 

“Your outfit’s in the dryer,” he says in a soothing voice, still holding you as if to keep you from running off. “I was warming it up while you were in the shower.” 

Your next inhale scrapes on the way in, a grateful pressure building behind your eyes. “Rem, that’s so sweet,” you say. “Thank you.” 

Remus gives you a smile and a little shrug, more casual than the faint pinkness of his cheeks would suggest. He lets his hands skim back down your neck, giving your upper arms a light squeeze. “Why don’t you let it finish running while you have your breakfast, yeah? That way there’s no risk of spilling on it.” 

You shake your head, aware this won’t go over well but too anxious to worry much about it. “I don’t have time for breakfast,” you tell him. “I need to catch the bus in, like—” Your eyes search for a moment before landing on the microwave clock. “—five minutes.” 

“I’ll drive you,” Sirius says, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt as he comes back downstairs.

You glance at the microwave clock again in case you read it wrong the first time. “You can’t,” you say. “You’ll be late.” 

Sirius shrugs. “I don’t have a presentation. They’ll deal with it.” 

You look to Remus, expecting him to object to Sirius’ proposed tardiness, but he only nods, sitting down with his coffee. 

“Are…are you sure?” you ask Sirius, trying to adjust to the sudden non-urgency of your situation. 

“It’s no problem,” he promises you. “Stop looking so upset, honey, just eat your breakfast.” 

“Drink your breakfast, is more like it,” James says proudly, coming in from the kitchen to pass you a glass of whatever he’d been concocting in the blender. It’s a murky brown-green, and you try not to wrinkle your nose for James’ sake. 

“Thanks.” You take it from him tentatively. “It’s…it’s a smoothie?” 

James laughs at your expression, and you think you hear Remus snort into his coffee. “Yes, it’s a smoothie. The color’s because of the chocolate protein powder and the spinach, but it’s got fruit, too, don’t worry.” 

You swirl the glass a bit, assessing the color. “Why so much spinach?”

James sets a hand on your shoulder, encouraging you into your chair as he joins the three of you at the table with a smoothie of his own. “Iron, sweetheart.” He casts a pointed glance at your legs, spotted here and there with purple-and-yellow blotches of skin. “Seems like you need it. You’re bruising like a peach lately.” 

Remus hums in agreement as you take a tentative sip of the smoothie. It’s not bad, though you can feel little bits of spinach sticking to your teeth. You make a mental note to have Sirius check your smile before you get out of the car later.

“And I saw that look in your eyes when you stood up too fast from the couch yesterday,” Remus says, quirking an eyebrow when you look at him in surprise. “You’re not as subtle as you think, dove.” 

You bring the glass to your lips again to avoid making a response. Sirius laughs, and when you smile sheepishly, his grin turns goofy. “Hold it there,” he says, taking your jaw in hand. You keep your smile in place as his eyes narrow. “Front tooth on the left. My left.” You lick at the piece of spinach, and he nods, dropping his hand. 

“Knew I could count on you,” you tell him. “Thanks, Siri.” 

Sirius pecks you on the cheek. “S’what I’m here for, gorgeous.”

[loonarii]

Ari's K-Pop Roundup: May 2024 (aespa, NewJeans, IVE, tripleS, YVES, ARTMS + MORE)

sorry this one was a little late - it was partly due to my personal life being a bit hectic at the moment, and partly due to the amount of stuff I wanted to say about this month's releases. check out last month's installment here, and happy pride month :)))

Supernova + Armageddon - aespa

Instant classic. 'Drama' in all its electric cyber-crush glory is a tough act to follow, but 'Supernova' holds it's ground from the first second and starts being fucking iconic in the next five.

Dem Jointz is all over this track, I love how he gets to go a little wild with the complexity of his production when working with groups like aespa and NCT. The beat bounces and booms, taking the listener on an intergalactic roller coaster ride of dance-pop rhythm, with the aespa girls as our celestial guides. 'Supernova' is a masterclass in vocal mixing and ad libs, Ningning's vocals sound especially addictive on this track, low and oozing confidence. It's an instant hit, and one of aespa's best.

While 'Supernova' feels very much in aespa's usual territory, 'Armageddon' takes a few more risks - it's slightly less dancepop, a little more edgy; less first-listen club banger and more third listen unexpected groove. Don't get me wrong, it definitely maintains the hallmarks of an aespa title track: full of unplaceable futuristic synths, tin-can trap beats, and a deep sliding baseline, but something about that half time chorus and the switch up to focus on the members lower registers more feels so confident. 'Armageddon' depicts an aespa utterly assured in their abilities as idols, musicians, entertainers, and performers, and regardless of it you liked the song or not, I think it is clear to anyone from this title track that aespa have far from reached their peak, and they still have much more to do in this industry.

Frustratingly, the album did not live up to the quality of the titles that represent it. There are a few stand out hits, like 'Bahama', which pulls off y3k h2o just add water mermaidcore effortlessly, as well as 'Set The Tone' a classic aespa style track evocative of the 'Drama' and 'Savage' EPs in sound, and 'Licorice' which apparently is controversial to enjoy, but I can't help but love its bounce and rhythm; but much of the rest of the tracklist fell short. I couldn't help but notice a lack of coherence both in the sound and concept of this era. The album feels like a hodgepodge of tracks rather than a deliberate project - there aren't any through lines between tracks other than aespa's flagship futuristic production style (which isn't actually present on every track but whatever), and each song seems to be appealing to different scenarios of streaming music - BAHAMA is for a summer beach date, but Supernova is for the club, but then Live My Life is for a disney channel original movie starring Demi Lovato?? The overall vibe seems to be disjointed.

This is a problem I have with a lot of aespa's releases since the 'Savage' EP - on the EP or mini album or album or whatever around 65-90% of the tracks are certified bangers, life changing hits, and then there are a few dull fillers to pad the runtime. I know there is a pressure for groups to release something twice a year or so, but I think aespa is at a point in their career where they can certainly afford to release an album once a year if it's for the sake of quality music.

Great titles, poor b-sides - aespa deserves more than a top-heavy album, SM take more than six months next time you want to make an album for them I beg.

How Sweet - NewJeans

It's been a rough couple of months over at HYBE, and considering how sick we are of it as fans and listeners, I can't even imagine how exhausted the members are of the whole ordeal. Being at the centre of one of k-pop's biggest company dramas in history in the middle of your comeback season isn't for the weak, but NewJeans make it look easy. They are back, stronger than ever, with yet another instant classic.

'How Sweet' is the complementary reversal of 'Bubblegum', capitalizing on the members gorgeous lower registers and pairing them with a 90s hip-hop vibe, featuring their signature NewJeans production flairs as always. I've seen a little bit of criticism that this song feels too much like 'ETA', (which I think is a bizarre comparison, it much more sounds like a lovechild of 'OMG' and 'Ditto') but I don't think that groups releasing music in their established sound is a bad thing at all. NewJeans aren't rookies anymore, they have more than proved themselves to be a force to be reckoned with both on the charts and on the stage, and with the korean general public and bunnies themselves consistently loving the NewJeans sonic identity it makes no sense for them to abandon it entirely. They've grown a lot since 'Attention' and 'Hype Boy', and their performance of this song shows that clearly.

The girls' vocals on this song are to die for, every line they deliver exudes confidence and assurance in their capabilities. Danielle and Hanni's little chant of 'Toxic loverrrrr you're no betterrrrr, 거기 숨지 말고 얼른 나와, you little demon in my storyline, don't knock on my door, I'll see you out' is adorable and SO catchy, Danielle's delivery in that outro with her Aussie accent being a highlight of the song as a whole.

Yet another banger from (in my opinion) the most exciting kpop group out right now - it is becoming clearer and clearer to me that the day NewJeans release a bad song is the day pigs fly.

Girls Never Die - tripleS (<ASSEMBLE24>)

The final lineup for tripleS is here, and with it, one of the groups best songs to date. Juggling 24 members in one song is feat few have successfully managed, but tripleS expertly uses the plethora of voices they have at their disposal to deliver a title track as hypnotic as it is anthemic.

'Girls Never Die' has all the hallmarks of a tripleS song we've grown to adore, from y3k style production to the classic 'lalala' hook in the chorus - sonically it both calls back to the groups humble beginnings with Acid Angel From Asia's 'Generation', and looks to the future of the group with its united 24 members. The verses tend to lose me a little, but although they are dull, they are thankfully short, and the chorus is a stunner. The finale of the track is a triumph, the final refrain of 'girls never die 절대 never cry' closing the song giving the effect of a battle cry - to me 'Girls Never Die' says tripleS are here to shake things up in the industry, and release fun music while doing it.

I've enjoyed many a tripleS project before this, with the +(KR)ystal Eyes EP and the 2023 ASSEMBLE album being real highlights. '<ASSEMBLE24>' is immediately one of ( if not their best) albums, b-sides such as 'Beyond the Beyond', 'White Soul Sneakers', and ESPECIALLY 'Chiyu' bringing the heat fully.

tripleS are one to watch, and while I have genuinely no clue what 'decentralized kpop idol group' means or what the fuck an objekt is, trust when I say I will be watching.

Accendio - IVE (IVE SWITCH)

After the exciting return of an IVE that is worthy of their hitmaker epithet with 'HEYA', I was intrigued to see what 'Accendio' would bring to the table other than a matching cherry-red wig moment for the members (which was iconic btw.)

'Accendio' borrows some ideas from garage, but generally just feels very kpop - it's functionally the epicentre of the sounds of the industry right now; a little bit tripleS, a little bit (G)-IDLE, but 100% IVE. It has an ethereal quality, but in the sense of a fallen angel, with the lyrics bringing a sense of Catholic guilt (not sure why this is becoming a trend right now but sure!). The chorus is half high-fashion girlpop with their chant of 'watch me, don't touch me; love me, don't hurt me', and half rhythmic acid trip with the onomatopoeia and the refrain of '주문 걸어, accendio'; it's a highly successful marriage of opposites. To me it recalls the sound of their Japanese single 'WAVE' which I personally loved, and while 'HEYA' is technically a more advanced kpop song production-wise, 'Accendio' just has a pace and rhythm to it that 'HEYA' lacks, making it feel more exciting and engaging.

It's actually kind of crazy how good the rest of the album is, like IVE's b-sides have never been criminally bad, but this is wild. Potentially a niche reference for you 4th gen stans, but 'Blue Heart' and 'Ice Queen' are to 'Accendio' what 'Clue' and 'Note' are to SHINee's 'Sherlock'. 'Blue Heart' expands on that vogueish, runway style sound from the first part of the 'Accendio' chorus, and 'Ice Queen' explores that gossamer flowy sound from the refrain. I doubt this was intentional, but I love any sense of sonic consistency in kpop albums (@rinas4ki this kind of what we were talking about) and all three tracks are very successful.

'WOW' is a little bit of a wildcard, an acoustic style girly type of track that sounds like the kind of thing SM used to force aespa to sing, but it works very well for IVE. That post chorus of 'wowowow' is very cute. 'RESET' also has a little bit of a garage sound, and reminds me a lot of Yves debut (which will be discussed below), and while it is pretty catchy, it isn't especially memorable, especially in the context of IVE's discography and the quality of the other tracks on this mini album, but it is still worth a listen for sure.

Overall I am very impressed with IVE this time around, 'HEYA' is very enjoyable, 'Accendio' is even more enjoyable, and the b-sides don't put a spanner in the works at all, in fact they in many ways boost the overall quality of the comeback, a feat frustratingly rare in the kpop scene. If you missed the 'IVE SWITCH' album this month, I would definitely recommend giving it a listen.

LOOP - YVES (LOOP)

It feels good knowing all 12 members of LOONA have redebuted after leaving BBC, and what a way to end it. Yves has always been one of my biases in LOONA, and this solo debut proves exactly why she's so special.

'LOOP' is a uk garage style kpop classic, and while Lil Cherry's rap occasionally wanders into questionable territory, Yves' vocals melded with the gorgeous Pink Pantheress style production (no she didn't actually produce it, but a girl can dream, right?) make the track the hit it is. I've seen the use of 8-bit sounding vocal processing being criticised online, but I personally love the computerized sound it brings - with Yves lilting 'ooh's and refrain of 'yeah I'm lost but I like it' 'LOOP' creates an atmosphere of a virtual euphoria.

'LOOP' is great and all, but for me the real star of the album is the beautiful, the stunning, the AWE INSPIRING, 'DIORAMA'. It's so effortless in it's production and that chorus is so subtle yet addictive, it's seriously good. 'DIORAMA' has been on repeat since it's release, I can definitely see this one finding a spot high on my top kpop tracks of 2024 list.

The mini album as a whole is amazing, Yves is such an exciting soloist, she clearly has a lot she wants to achieve, and 'LOOP' is evidence of that.

Virtual Angel - ARTMS (Dall)

WARNING - PLEASE READ: If you wish to support ARTMS after reading this review, please be warned that the music video for 'Virtual Angel' contains repeated flashing scenes, and has been reported to trigger seizures, epilepsy and headaches in a small minority of viewers - even the 'Human Eye Ver.' has some flashing elements. Please stay safe!

I think i speak for all orbits when I say we had big expectations for 'Dall'. Both of the Loossemble albums so far have been excellent, Chuu and Yves have been bringing it in their solo projects, and everything we've heard out of Modhaus concerning Loona has been incredible - for ARTMS to stumble with this album would be immensely frustrating. Fortunately, they did not stumble at all, they smashed through the finish line of the Loona redebuts, and elevated the groups post-BBC discography to another level of excellence.

'Dall' is an album that is difficult to put into words. It has the essence of Loona beyond just having Heejin, Kim Lip, Jinsoul, Choerry and Haseul involved, it is genuinely quite moving how it echoes that 'Hi High' sound from so long ago. I say this as a joke a lot, but 'Dall' is genuinely an album that feels like an ascension to another plane of existence - it is euphoric and ethereal, especially in the context of the fight the members and orbits have put up since 2022.

I consider 'Girl Front' the gold standard for Loona songs, and 'Virtual Angel' genuinely comes close to snatching that crown. The whole album is so fucking good, and while I would usually go through the charade of describing every track and its genre influences and whether the hook is catchy or not, I refuse for this album - I will not steal the experience from you of hearing this album for the first time.

So yeah, this is probably a mildly shit review, but PLEASE go stream this album, if there was any post BBC Loona album you were going to listen to, let it be this one (but also the Odd Eye Circle album lmao). 'Virtual Angel' is a triumph, 'Dall' is a triumph, 'The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy', 'Sparkle' and 'Unf/Air' ESPECIALLY are triumphs.

In conclusion... stan loona.

MINI REVIEWS:

Taxi Blurr - Jay Park (feat. Natty of KISS OF LIFE): i may not like Jay Park, but Natty is and always will be my girl, so here we are. I really love the 90s r&b style of this track, and Natty especially sounds amazing on it - her vocal colour is so beautiful. The two's voices blend really well in my opinion, the harmonies in the bridge are satisfying as hell.

Mona Lisa - Soojin (formerly (G)-IDLE)): questionable album titles aside, Soojin is back with her second comeback post leaving (G)-IDLE. This song is frustrating because it's not really offensively bad in any sense, but it is also not really especially good in any sense either. The budget for the MV is kind of crazy, but I wish they had put some of that into the making of the actual song.

No Biggie + Algorhythm - ITZY: (requested by @a-moth-to-the-light) If you've been on my blog before, you will know that JYP's direction of ITZY's korean releases has been irking me for a while, but somehow when ITZY gets on that plane and lands in Japan I am always obsessed. I'm into pretty much all of their Japanese releases, like Ringo went triple platinum in my mental chart. 'No Biggie' is really cool actually, super catchy and Yuna sounds amazing on it - it feels very laid back and relevant to the 2024 music space, something that ITZY's korean singles seem to struggle with. 'Algorhythm' is also SO GOOD, in production, style, and vocal performance. The music video and song also have major old red velvet vibes, which I love. ITZY - please stay in Japan a little longer, the discography over there is so solid. I miss Lia so much though, I hope she's doing well.

LOST! - RM (BTS): I really appreciate namjoon's artistry, and I actually enjoyed his 2022 album 'Indigo', quite a bit, but this song just doesn't work for me. I have heard from others that the album is something special tho, so if i have a spare half hour I might give it a listen.

나의 이름은 (ROTY) - YOUNG POSSE: I would like to redact my previous statements on young posse, I get it now, and this song is so fun. Very 2000s, very y2k, beautiful production, great raps from everyone, what more could you want.

Supernatural - A.C.E: Saw a GIF from the music video on my dash and decided to check it out, and I was severely impressed. 'Supernatural' is not an ear-splitting noisy headache of a track I have come to expect from kpop boy groups, it's a light hearted, classic Bruno Mars style pop hit. Good music and a well produced fun concept? I need to check out this group more.

[nkn0va]

Let out a lil (manly) scream when I saw requests were open lol. Could I please get general relationship headcanons for Nine? I really enjoy your characterization of her, and so far out of the (admittedly like 3) blazblue writers ive seen you do her best. Thanks a lot man.

I could've fucking sworn I already did this. Guess not. Other two writers I'm assuming are @your-phantomfield and dopp before their old blog got deleted.

Speaking of phantomfield's writing though, I'd rather not have my HCs come off as just a carbon copy of their Nine post, so as opposed to writing Nine in the CF era, this will instead be for Nine post Dark War and before she got yeeted into the abyss. I'll try not to make it sad like I did with the Ragna post. This will unfortunately be shorter than the rest of my single character posts because I'm exhausted.

(Also sorry for not posting so much lately I've been finally trying to get good at UNI2 in my off time and my edgy ass was forced to pick Seth as one of my mains. Fuck TK dragonfist inputs.)

-It's...going to be a while before Nine is comfortable with intimacy in any capacity. She's spent so much of her life fighting now that she always has her guard up out of habit.

-It's a long road to the lowkey recovery from the trauma of a decade long war against a giant, world-ending, radioactive hydra, though once she does feel comfortable around you, her passion will burn as hot as her magic.

-It's not easy to get close to her, but those who manage it are in for life. She's quite overprotective of you not entirely unlike she is with Celica regardless of how good of a fighter you are. It's just in her nature.

-She is not one to shy away from PDA. She doesn't go out of her way to do it necessarily but if she just so happens to be in a doting mood she will not care who sees it. If anyone tries to reprimand her for it they will promptly be shut up with a glare from Nine as her hand lights on fire.

-Nine's family and friends are more important to her than anything else. She wants nothing more than for you all to get along, which considering who they are should be simple enough.

-Unfortunately get-togethers with everyone can't really happen considering how busy everyone is, especially her. Whenever the two of you finally can spend some time together she learns to treasure it.

-Of course this naturally soon escalates into the want to have a kid, especially after you get married. Your honeymoon is spent in bed for the most part...

-Nine is surprisingly traditional in her love/family values. She wants the idealistic happy ending that most people dream of. Get married, settle down, have a child, or children if the both of you feel so inclined. It's way more wholesome than initially expected from someone like her but it's certainly not unwelcome.

[lggy]

I’m on both and every time I go back over to aphtwt it’s like that guy with pizzas going into a room on fire

its a long ass story thats been going on since the reveal of s7. here's just a recount of what's been going on lately for anyone curious i guess. its just to answer why a lot of people are icked out by laurance right now and why people are saying "i cant enjoy laurance anymore"

bascially laurance's va doesn't know how to properly manage his image,

ive been following him long before, he would have a few old tweets and tiktoks where he gets really annoyed towards aphmau fans, and reasonably so

...after the reveal of s7, he tried coming back to make his brand Laurance except he's using his NFSW bdsm account. after people started trying to link his nsfw links to his aphwiki page i made a twt post asking people to stop doing that. thats when we realized seb is obsessed with searching himself up on twitter and he proceeded to QRT me and make a few response posts reiterating what i said and apologizing for interacting with minors on his nsfw account. he made a new alt account for interacting with fans on aphtwt.

that was back around september-october

he searches himself and laurance up constantly to QRT and pick fights and stuff. its clear he's going through mental shit - he talks about it a lot. but it took him months to realize hes not fit to be running an account to host his image/brand that he wants to be about Laurance. he picks up on any drama around himself and kinda has a villain speech every time someone doesnt like him. im kind of starting to feel bad for him.

this is all while lowkey begging Jess to contact him again to bring him back for VA work, cryptically referring to her sometimes as "The Creator". I forgot to mention he had this whole "Guys im having a huge reveal, Im coming back to VAing for a very special charater.." thing. me and a lot of people picked up on him being kind of.. fake? basically, he shit on aphmau before, equated VA work to a MLM, then had a total sudden switch-up as soon as s7 was announced and realized he can renew his role. he had a video saying he wants this job to get a new tattoo.

^ 'What's wrong with wanting money?' the thing is being a VA means you need to have a good image and thats usually generated by having a good fanbase. all that really said was that he's just hopping on a bandwagon to get paid and thus his fan interactions just came across as desperate and bait-y and fake as hell. think about how other VA's interact w their fans then compare it to this,

what happened yesterday was that garroth's VA announced he was doing a mystreet rewatch with much of the og cast!... then sebastian QRT'd with this

someone even asked if he can join them too

then he joined the discord. then got banned after 10 minutes.. then crashed out about it on twitter, posting that garroth's va blocked him. not posting the massive paragraph he had because its kinda the sameburger poetry. i genuinely have no idea why he would post this than to like, try to get people to turn on garroth's VA. severely inappropriate behavior for someone trying to come back to being a VA

allegedly, seb had livestreamed a while ago where he said something along the lines of, (quoting from oomf's memory) "I don't recommend you contacting or asking any of the old VAs about me, I don't know if they still think about me the same bc of how I was back then. Bipolar Disorder was really bad for me back then, it made me so edgy." and how other VAs had issues with him and tension. - i dont have a source for this but it lines up with this tweet :

where he very inappropriately and for no reason mentioned he had issues with another VA. the problem is he had NO reason to bring that up and had the situation he was referring to was about gene having a fill-in on a cocomau video and nothing to do with seb himself or any drama or anything.

aaand i think thats all. that's the laurance downfall crashout chronicles , i didnt want to get too detailed but i can ask questions and whatever

personally, i nevr really beleived this guy would ever get hired again. all because he uses his real/brand name for his porno stuff. the company does background checks yknow

[slightlyhopefulromantic]

monsters and mommies au except its really obvious that the thing i think about the most is how it would impact the trial/jodie arc

(i feel like ive seen a few people do these aus but i just searched it and only found its-raining-heres au so um. if i ripped you off im so so sorry i thought it was a fun trend)

rambling /explaining this more under the cut but tl;dr: i thought it would be more interesting for this au, to Not make a fifth mom and instead twist the punishment so that jodie still replaces glenn! however, its in the sense that morgan got retroactively married to a "responsible parent" rather than her (late) husband, glenn :3c so essentially the same punishment, just inflicted in a way that feels very different

okay so to infodump, because i havent touched this au in a creative sense but HAVE talked my partner and their boyfriend's ear off about it despite them not watching dndads--

im not gonna ramble about everything. but! in my ideal monster and mommies au, morgan is the most different from her husband, compared to the other moms. i found that carol would mirror darryl very closely, mercedes and samantha more mirror their husbands in a general sense, but morgan i thought would be more fun being much different from glenn :] still have similar Plot Beats(tm) but very twisted on their head

in this au, since they swap places, glenn is. yknow. dead. sorry man. but rather than going glenn's route of like, totally disconnecting from reality bhjfdbgjfdbj morgan instead gets very very intense and protective over nick, to the point of it driving a wedge between them. nick still idolizes glenn, and he remembers what his mom used to be like before she got so scared, and so he strives to be Rock And Roll Edgy Teen Boy and it makes morgan. crazy. (it is definitely more nick acting out for attention than him genuinely wanting to be a druggie rock star, mirroring how nick would imitate glenn mostly to get his attention, but morgan does not know that LOL) but she struggles a lot with figuring out how to control him beyond getting into arguments and so she is a very ineffective parent

originally, i was actually gonna have mercedes have to go on trial instead of morgan for various reasons, but i just. the whole jodie thing was too interesting to me. it wouldve been funny to make henry and jodie gay married but i just thought i could get more creative with it. so instead, jodie still replaces glenn as nick's father... but this time, its because morgan gives up her marriage with glenn so nick would have a better parent, rather than glenn giving up his fatherhood over nick for the same reason :] morgan is basically told that she will be given a marriage that would have better suited raising nick safely, and she accepts (significant because in contrast to glenn, where he doesnt mention morgan very much due to his Bury My Emotions schtick, morgan is very very vocal about missing glenn, so it was an obvious weak spot for her). vainly, she hoped a little bit that maybe it would be glenn but 5% more careful with himself, but instead, she escapes prison to find nick with an entirely different appearance, attitude, and father... very dramatic :D

jodie is much more a background force in this au, but he IS still a demon whos life was ripped away from him so he could go be a highway cop. i dont know if they would ever learn this fact to be honest. still deciding that. maybe morgan just thinks she got a free new husband to divorce or fall in love with or whatever

i talked so long. im so sorry. i just think about this a lot, i love this au and the silly little morgan ive made up in my mind

[friendlyengie]

hello mewants to stick my fingers through the enclosure bars. what's either your mischaracterisation/behaviour pet peeve you don't like in the fandom, or if you don't want to be a negative nancy, what's your favourite tidbit about the mercs that you want to see more in fandom content?

Uhhhhhh honestly ive been doing my best not to be a huuuge asshat about fandom mischaracterizations lately bc ive found that the vibe has sort of just put a damper on my ability to enjoy things (being to worried that IM the guy mischaracterizing characters and im being judged for having fun etc etc) BUT its still fun to talk about so long as i dont get all pretentious about it so let me dig around in my brain.

Uhhh i dont really have any specific ones off the top of my head… i think recently ive just not really been vibing with like. The counter-woobification process of characters. Like, when people see a character being babied by the fandom (for traits they do or don’t have) and decide to respond to it by exaggerating the character in the opposite direction. Mischaracterization but “edgy.” Medic’s not your yaoi soft boy hes actually a stone-cold intimidating manipulator, spy isn’t an overprotective guilt ridden dad he actually doesn’t give a shit about scout, this character wouldnt [exaggerated positive trait] they’d actually [exaggerated negative trait.] this isn’t a specific to tf2 thing or even anything that new but its just sort of. Fascinating to watch happen from a distance.

uhhh as for favorite tidbits… idk i feel like we as a society need to appreciate that snipers just kind of a guy who does his job. Like yes hes a weirdo he pisses in jars and snipes people i get it i get it but also when i rewatch his meet the merc video im always just kind of fascinated by how casual he is. Like he talks like a guy i could strike up a conversation with while waiting in line at a store. also like. “Be polite. Be efficient. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.” Out of these things i feel like “be polite” gets overlooked the most. This is the merc who routinely calls his parents and tips his hat off to people he kills. It just feels like an underutilized part of his personality.

[bbq-potato-chip]

HI HAI HOPE IM NOT TOO LATE FOR TH ASK GAME BUT ✨ your silly lil green guy. yknow the one. ulquiorra. please please tell me about him ive been spectating from afar and i need to know abt him so bad. as silly or as serious as you want, say anything, ijust wanna hear abt him from a certified Appreciator(tm). be free :]

Aaaaaag!!!!! SHAKING FOAMING AT THE MOUTH !!!!

At last I am enabled HE IS MY FUNNY LITTLE GREEN GUY AND I LOVE HIM I am honored to be chosen as a certified appreciatior ANYWAY SO UM let me just explain like. What he is rlly quick because there are so many different types of guys in the whole bleach world

you have humans, who live in the world of the living and souls (dead people) who also live in the world of the living and then you have hollows which are like corrupted souls that the soul reapers gotta defeat to get them to love on to the next life (which is in the soul society)(the soul reapers also live there)(the soul reapers are also dead people)(it’s like a whole reincarnation thing)

the hollows live in this other dimension called hueco mundo they look like this (the guy on the left- hollows are more “monster-y” looking whereas arrancars are more human looking but they still have the holes where their hearts should be-hence the term hollow)

So these guys called arrancars (that’s what ulquiorra is!!!) they’re hollows that have been modified to be kind of…like a cross between a soul reaper and hollows because they have swords (soul reaper thing) but are also hollows. Basically like. You have a bear and your like let me give that bear a gun. Like that. The main antagonist is responsible for all that for reasons™️ but that’s a whole other thing in it of itself. But yeah he’s like an an evil henchmen.

but onto greater, more important things

ok completely on a surface level his charcter design is like. 10/10

I don’t know much abt charcter design but since his colors are limited he really like stands out (it’s part of the reason why I think kny characters have such good designs because they stick to the two main color plus accent color)

He’s mostly black n white with accents with green which is just so striking and the green tear makeup is just *chefs kiss* PLUS the combination of the traditional Japanese hakufu pants combined with the almost (not rlly sure how to put it) like European tail coat kind of deal he’s got going on really is such an interesting combination of two different cultural fashions. Ichigo (the guy on the right) has kind of a similar deal going on with the pants and the more western looking tuxedo looking deal and they’re design are supposed to Parallel each other for thematic reasons but PERSONALLY I think ulquiorra does it way better . But idk Maybe I’m biased!!

And there’s his other powered up forms which are just so cool

He’s so edgy. I love him this slaps so hard I cannot deny he’s so creaturecore

ok so now. Plot stuff

so basically his whole deal is that he’s a nihilist. Throughout his appearance he’s always like oooh nothing matters I don’t care blah blah blah despite the fact that he has emo make up. He does NOT put the emotion in emo. (Which, at least my impression of emo is about wearing emotions on your sleeve. I don’t know much abt emo as like a whole but if anyone has any like critique on my definition please let me know I’d love to learn more) My man is emo in style but is like yeah whatever I don’t feel emotions I don’t have a heart I’m not human don’t think of me as a human I’m a logical emotionless creature yadayada.

it’s such an interesting design choice to me because it really highlights how…hypocritical his worldview is. As the story goes on you can see his whole nothing matters deal kind of crack, towards his finally battle we see him get angry and surprised and then (spoiler alert) love right before he dies.

And you really can’t talk about ulquiorra without talking about orihime.

orihime was kidnapped basically by orders of the main antagonist because she has powers that he needs for reasons™️. It’s kind of a long explanation why so I’ll just leave it at that. But the whole reason Orihime is there was because she loves her friends, and she goes over to the side of the enemy because she didn’t want her friends to get hurt (basically the “bad guys” were like come with us or we’ll kill your friends and she was like. Well I guess I have to go because I love my friends) which is like the complete opposite of ulquiorra because he’s all like whatever friendship love and bonds are all bull. But as he interacts with her he gets (upset?curious? Not sure of the wording) about what it means to have a heart (or a bond with another person really). I just love how as we move through the arc we see him gradually more humanized, partly as a result of orihime being all like. You’re wrong things DO matter but also because he IS human in a way.

specifically there’s a scene in his backstory one shot where orihime catches him sleeping and brings him food and it just shows that yeah maybe he’s not technically a regular guy but he gets sleepy and needs a little snack!!! He’s grumpy about it but I just love how it portrays him in such a different way than we usually get to see him. (He’s embarrassed he’s so funny. “Ooooh I take naps and eat snacks 🙄so embarrassing” He’s so silly)

As he talks to orihime throughout this arc he gets CLOSER to understanding as his whole nothing matters deal keeps getting shut down by her when he tries to convince her that nothing matters. But he really doesn’t GET it until right before his death when he realizes what “the heart” is. Because orihime showed him humanity and kindness he’s like oooohhhh I get it now. But at the last second which just is so…cries

anyway. He finally realizes what it means to care about something as he dies and it’s so tragic because this is the first time he’s ever felt anything and now he’s going to die reaching out to her. It’s probably THE most tragic anime scene I’ve ever watched it kills me literally Everytime I watch it screaming crying throwing up. You know the deal!!!

Then after that whole arc is finished the author published this art . And look at him. He’s so silly look at him

Anyway. *does jazz hands 👐 * that’s my guy!!!

!!!

Also!!! Fun facts(tm)

-Ulquiorras name was based off of Spanish architect and the castle that he lives in is based off of abstract Spanish architecture . Which I just think is really neat

-His birthday is on December 1!!!

-i just think he’s neat!!!

Anyway thank you so much for the ask I am so sorry this took forever to respond to I jus have SO many thoughts and typing on my phone takes FOREVER anyway I hope I did him justice!!!

[mortimer]

for the music ask game ~ 13, 19, 20, 26, 27, 28, aaaand 30!

13:One of your favorite 80’s songs

i listen to a looot of different music from the 80s so its hard for me to pick but a really aggressively 80s song ive been listening to a lot lately is of course corey hart's sunglasses at night

19:A song that makes you think about life

first thought was why by chat pile which is a song that i honestly find distressing to listen to . because its real as fuck

20:A song that has many meanings to you

somewhere i have a google document where i carefully analyze all the songs i have on the playlist for my webcomic and i think the longest entry on it is for the fall of saigon by this heat

26:A song that makes you want to fall in love

two of hearts by stacey q. i-i-i-i-i-i-i need i need you >///< two of hearts ✌️💞two harts that beat as one 💓💥💣

27:A song that breaks your heart

keeping up with the 80s theme here my first thought was smalltown boy by bronski beat. pretty sure ive cried to that song at least once

28:A song by an artist with a voice that you love

had to think about this one for a second but i'm going with many hands or sorrow! sorrow! sorrow! by lingua ignota. started listening to many hands just now and like every hair on my body stood up lol kristin hayter's voice + vocal arrangements gives me chills every time. i've spoken abt this before but i saw her on her final tour as lingua ignota and the control she has over her voice while performing these insane songs is absolutely fucking bonkers

30:A song that reminds you of yourself

ok so this is an extremely silly one but i recently was reminded of a song that i had not thought about at all in any way in at least ten years but definitely listened to trillions of times as a preteen. and listening to it for the first time in that long gave me such a visceral body reaction i almost screamed. because it so perfectly encapsulates how it feels to be an edgy 10yo in 2010 (which i obviously was). and that song was kill everybody by skrillex

[approximateknowledge]

*stares at my old edgy-ass leather jacket i recently unearthed from the depths of the minor hoards that my family tends to accumulate*

*thinks back to the way i used to behave back when i got that thing*

ive been making myself feel so much fuckor lately...

why do i know exactly why i was like that in hindsight?!

like, fuck's sake that thing's 8 years old!

of course it's 8 years old...

2014 the year i became a weeb

look at this thing

^this assymetrical edgy-ass thing

of course that's what i chose

*of course it was*

... of course it was

cull me

[vvindication]

8, 17, and 20 annnyyy ocs for the suffering asks

ily ghost thank u for sending me oc asks (platonic) 💖💕💞 im gonna answer for multiple bc I CANNOT be stopped

8. Do they feel glee at the sight of blood? this is such an pointedly edgy question and I love it for that. do any of my ocs ??? generally no, but circumstantially yes

this doesnt fit with my planned Disco OCs answers because I can easily say no for them off the top of my head without much thought, but I do think my Cyberpunk man Vance gets some sort of fucked up thrill from drawing blood when fighting with knives in close combat. the smell makes him sick for trauma reasons (best friend died horribly) but he's a vengeful & impulsive adrenaline junkie, ofc he likes getting into risky fights and making his enemies bleed

funny thing is he almost always feels guilty about hurting people anyway. hes just very good at hiding it under a sarcastic veneer <3

17. What little regrets do they have? ohhhh okay this ones gonna be more difficult for me. I always think about the big hard-hitting stuff (as seen below . um) lets see ...

Vincent regrets not being able to identify unclaimed deceased. does that count as little? actually compared to everything else he's got going on, yeah, im counting that. he regrets plenty of social interactions, not being comforting enough for distraught civilians, not being supportive enough for fellow officers drudging through the same soul-sucking work he is. he always wishes he could do MORE to help others, but hes just one neurotic little man surviving day to day in a war-torn city, in a barely functioning police force

I know for sure theres shit im not thinking of with my other beloveds but now im super stuck thinking about codependency cause I wrote that answer first. oops. codependency ..........

20. Are they codependent? Do they have abandonment issues? YOUVE ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD !!!!! this is one of the fun new characterizations im leaning into hard for Mr. Travart and his very apparent relationship problems. hes been abandoned A Lot (both by choice and by tragedy) and it fucks with him so much. he wants to be loved so bad that when he finds an ounce of it he'll give his soul for it. yaaaaay codependency !!! 🎉💖🎉

this is a big reason he falls for Arcelis so hard when flirted with. he wants to think somebody actually wants him for who he is, even if he is a corrupt politician blatantly manipulating him, and it (obviously) gets him into a fuckton of trouble.

basic history behind this is he and his mom were abandoned by his father before he was even born, his mom died as a teenager, the uncle who took him in literally only did so as a favor to his sister who'd died and treats him like shit. I think part of him thinks he has to Make Up For Something because people keep leaving and he wonders why HE hasnt been a victim of circumstance yet. why does he have to stay and suffer?? not even to mention Arcelis breaking up with him and Joakim dying for him ...

he doesnt unlearn this by the time he gets involved with Harry OR Kim. thats a point I particularly want to make. he isnt magically fixed by these relationships and would sacrifice his own life for them in a heartbeat whether they appreciate it or not. something something ... life without them would be more painful than dying. at least he wouldnt have to face more loss that way

... can you tell Ive been writing some heavy shit lately. hehe ^_^