#eddie screams in his pillow when he gets home

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Eddie seemed to have zero impulse control when he's not actively thinking about it. After Vecna Eddie moved in with Steve because he and Wayne didn't have a new place yet, plus, Wayne was living out of a motel. It was not a place for someone with wounds like his. Also, he was still waiting to be cleared of all charges. Steve was well enough to take care of Eddie. The metalhead was still in a lot of pain and on as many painkillers as he was allowed the first time that it happened. Steve was leaning over to fluff his pillows, and his lips were close to Eddie's face. It was all Steve’s fault, really. Eddie was thinking about how pretty his lips were when he decided to grab Steve by the back of the neck.

"What are - MMHH!"

Eddie brought his lips to his, and it was the sweetest kiss that Steve had ever experienced. It had left his lips feeling all tingly. Steve could easily pass it off on the fact that Eddie was high, and that was exactly what he did do. He never brought it up or told anyone about it. . .not even Robin. He really couldn't ignore it, though, when it happened a second time.

Eddie was feeling a lot better and could move around the house a lot more. Steve had finally been able to cook dinner for the both of them after living off other people's cooking and takeout while they both healed. They had finished eating when Eddie lumbered over to him and spun him around, cupping his face.

"That was the best home-cooked meal I've ever eaten - MUAH!" Eddie exclaimed, kissing him square on the mouth. "You go settle down. I'll handle the clean-up, big boy."

Steve had frozen a little. Surely, Eddie knew what he was doing? Since he hadn't brought it up, Steve decided not to bring it up either. . .except when it happened a third time. Eddie was completely healed, and he was able to be let out of the house since he was he officially cleared of all charges. He wanted to meet up with Corroded Coffin at Gareth's since they refused to come over to Steve's house despite the fact that Steve had told them they were welcome anytime. Even though he understood where they were coming from, it still stung that they refused to even try to get to know him. Anyways, Eddie was on his way out the door except for the fact that his keys were lying on the counter.

"Hey, did you forget something?" Steve asked.

"Oh, right," Eddie said, twirled around and kissed him while scooping up the keys. Then he was gone.

Okay, he really couldn't ignore it this time. Steve really needed to talk to someone about the kisses and about how much he liked them. He needed to know what that meant, and he knew exactly what kind of conversation this would turn out to be.

"Eddie keeps kissing me," Steve said as soon as Robin got in the car.

"I'm sorry, what?" Robin said, blinking.

"You know how Eddie's really affectionate," Steve replied. "Does it bother you when he kisses you?"

"Oh, you mean like kissing on the forehead and the cheek? No, I think it's sweet, actually," Robin said and rolled her eyes. "Are you feeling a little insecure in your masculinity because a man is getting a little affectionate with you?"

"What?! No, I don't mind getting affection from a man, Robin. You know I hug Argyle all the time," Steve said. "I'm just wondering why Eddie kisses me on the mouth and he doesn't do that with anyone else."

"Stop the car!" Robin screamed, and Steve pulled over the side, parking the car.

"Jesus, Robin!" Steve exclaimed.

"Eddie's been kissing you on the MOUTH?!" Robin asked.

"Yeah. He doesn't do that with you?" Steve asked.

"No, I think that's a treat only for you," Robin said.

"But why? We're both straight," Steve said. "I mean, I'm not trying to complain or anything, it's nice but why is he doing it?"

"You like it when he kisses you?" Robin asked.

"Yeah," Steve shrugged. "If I were into men, I'd be asking him on a date, but I'm not gay, Robin. . .well, maybe just for Eddie. Is it possible to be gay just for one person?"

"I mean, maybe, but I doubt that it's the case here," Robin said. "Usually, I would probably let you figure this out for yourself, but considering how long you kept it hidden that you like Nancy Drew, it might just take a while. . .do I have permission to rip off the band-aid?"

"Uh, yeah. I guess," Steve asked. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Oh, how the hell were you so sure about Vickie and completely clueless about yourself?" Robin asked.

"Are you still on it that I totally called it about Vickie being a lesbian before you did?" Steve asked.

"She's not a lesbian, dingus," Robun said.

"Okay, I was pretty sure that you two were dating. Robin, she's clearly into you, so I'm pretty sure you have a shot," Steve said.

"Yeah, we are dating but she's not a lesbian," she said.

"I'm so confused," Steve said.

"In more ways than one," Robin said.

"Robin, we're going to be late for work," Steve said.

"Vickie is a bisexual," Robin said. "She likes more than one gender."

"Oh. . .oh, like David Bowie!" Steve exclaimed. "Right?!"

"Right," Robin said.

"Oh my god!" Steve said. "My Tom Cruise obsession suddenly makes sense - I didn't want to be him - "

"Not to mention, all those times you've stared openly at Eddie along with his posters of Eddie Van Halen and Kirt Hammel. . . "

"Kirk Hammett, Robin," Steve scoffed. "Eddie would rip you a new one for getting that one wrong."

"But you knew it because Eddie did," Robin said.

"I like him," Steve said with wide eyes.

"Yeah, buddy. Are you going to need a minute?" Robin said.

"Nah, I'm fine. I actually feel really good about it," Steve grinned.

"Not even a little freak out?" She asked.

"Nope!"

"Lucky bitch," Robin muttered.

"I'm sorry, the next time I have a realization about myself, I'll make sure to give you the freak out that you deserve," Steve said.

"That's all I'm asking," Robin said.

They spent the morning shift talking about Eddie and what he'd say to him once he got home. Steve debated on giving him flowers or not, or a stuff animal. He decided on a stuffed animal because that was more permanent, as Robin had pointed out. They were just about to take their break for lunch when Eddie strolled in.

"Hey," Steve said brightly. "I was just thinking about you."

"Yeah?" Eddie asked and leaned against the counter. "That's good to know."

Eddie leaned forward and planted a kiss on his lips. This time, Steve responded to it, cupping Eddie's face as he deepened the kiss. He could feel Eddie smile against his lips. Steve heard Robin scrambling to lock the front door and close the newly installed blinds. Eddie wrapped his arms around him, nearly climbing over the counter to do it. Finally, Robin coughed loudly and they broke apart.

"Hi," Steve said breathlessly.

"Hi," Eddie said. "I got something for you."

He climbed over the counter and sat down in front of him. He pulled out a rock and handed it to Steve.

"It looks like a guitar pick," Steve said with a grin.

"I thought you could use it for good luck," Eddie said.

"That's very sweet, thank you," Steve said, blushing. "I'm going to keep it forever."

"So, your boyfriend did good?" Eddie asked.

"Boyfriend?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, I know we're taking things slow, but I was hoping that you'd consider me being your boyfriend," Eddie said.

"Yeah, uh, it's just - it might be the concussions, but I don't remember asking you out or you asking me out," Steve said.

"Oh, you definitely asked me out," Eddie said.

"Oh, God, Robin. The doctor said if I started having memory problems - " Steve said with wide eyes. "I'd definitely remember asking you out."

"Honey! I'm sure it's fine!" Eddie exclaimed. "Robin was there, she'll tell you!"

"I was NOT!" Robin yelled, her eyes going wide. "Or was I? Oh, god, what if I hit my head and I don't remember?! I'd remember my best friend asking out a man!"

"Okay, don't panic, Robin, we'll call Hopper - " Steve started to say.

"You really don't remember?!" Eddie shrieked.

"No!" Robin and Steve yelled.

"Seriously, Robin, you were there, and you turned into a giant duck which, by the way, is rude because you know about my fear of ducks!" Eddie yelled.

"Oh, Eddie, goddamnit, was this a dream?" Steve asked.

"You know what? Now that I'm thinking about it, I think it might have been a dream," Eddie said.

"Okay, those looks you've been giving me make a lot more sense," Robin said. "Have you been living in fear of me randomly turning into a duck, like I'm some sort of. . .wereduck?"

"I don't know, your name's Robin, and we've all been through crazy shit. . .anything is possible," Eddie said.

"Aww, and you've hugged me even though you're scared of ducks," Robin cooed.

"Well, it's my fear, my responsibility. It's not your fault," Eddie said and then looked at her. "But you're not, though, right?"

"No, Eddie," she said softly and then affectionately, "You dingus."

"This whole time. . .," Eddie trailed off. "We haven't actually been dating. You never asked me out."

Eddie started to scramble off of the counter when Steve grabbed him and pulled him back.

"Let's fix that. . .Eddie Munson, do you want to be my boyfriend?" Steve asked.

"Fuck yeah, I do," Eddie grinned.

He grabbed the back of Steve’s head and crashed their lips together. Eddie sighed and leaned his forehead against Steve’s.

"No one better fucking wake me up," Eddie breathed and Steve laughed.

"Oh God! I think my nose is turning into a bill - quack, quack!"

"Robin!"

[tartarusknight]

I want more platonic stobin and bisexualy disaster Steve and gay disaster Eddie in my life. So I wrote some :)

Steve wanted to scream as he tried the handle again. "Steve. Steve!" Robin pulled him away from the door. "They aren't opening the door, and you're just gonna break the handle. Keith already hates your guts. Don't make it worse." She pointed out, weirdly calm about all of this. "Plus, it's not like we don't share space normally." She says and sinks down to the floor, tugging him down with her.

Steve looked at the door, "Why can't they accept that we're only ever going to be platonic?" He asks and runs a ran through his hair. He was sick of this. Of the comments and the teasing. It stresses him out.

They kept pushing the two of them together, and Steve was worried that it could mess up what friendship he had with Robin. Because Steve's used to messing up and hurting someone, and he really doesn't want to hurt Robin. He has nightmares of outing her by accident and ruining her life. It terrifies him.

"Steve, come on, it's okay. It's just a stupid bathroom. We've shared a bathroom stall. This is bigger than that." She jokes, and he pulls his knees up to his chest.

"I can't do this, Rob." He admits and watches her freeze. Her walls climbed up like he said something really stupid. "I'm sorry, but I'm just-"

She cuts him off, "I get it. You don't want to deal with the backlash of being a lesbian's friend." She says, and he blinks.

"What? No! I don't want to say the wrong thing. I get bitchy when I'm annoyed and I'm easily annoyed when I'm stressed. And I'm stressed! So I don't - I can't be the one to out you. I can't mess that up for you." He says, and it's nice to finally admit his fears.

Robin blinks at him, "That's what- Steve, that's what bothers you about all this?"

Steve nods, "I mess up everything I touch. I can't do that to you, I won't do that to you. Honestly, you should probably find better friends. One who thinks with his brai-"

"Shut up." Robin snaps, and he stops speaking. Looking at her with wide eyes. "You can't talk about my best friend that way. I won't let you," She states.

"You're best friend?"

Her eyes soften, "yeah dingus. Who else would be my best friend? We're soulmates," She decides, and he's confused because she sounds like she means it. "Platonic, with a capital p, soulmates."

He swallows back a ball of emotion, "even if all the kids I babysit-"

"Mother."

"Babysit," he stresses, and she smiles. "Try to get us together at every opportunity and won't believe that we aren't in love. Or that I'm in love with you at the least. I think you're better off because you call me dingus more than my name," he mused.

Robin sighed, "I won't say that it's not annoying. But I'm used to dodging questions about boys, and this way... with you, I have someone to be myself with. That's more important to me than some stupid preteens who think locking us in a bathroom would get us together."

Steve smiles, "last time we shared a bathroom did go pretty well, honestly." She knocked her knee into his. He glanced over at the door. "Do you think they'll give up?"

Robin snorts, "Dustin's more invested in your love life than you are. I don't think he'll give up unless you're dating someone else or the truth comes out."

Steve sighed, chewing his lower lip until something clicked in his head. "What If I come out?"

Robin blinked, "you- what?"

Steve nodded, "I mean I like both but I could just say I favor guys." He shrugs, "it's not like they could disprove it since it's mostly true."

Robin stared at him, "Steve... since when did you- what? Steve oh my god," She shifted onto her knees and slammed into him. "Since fucking when! Why didn't you ever tell me!"

Steve raised an eyebrow, "what do you mean since when? I literally point out hot guys all the time! When we watched watched Rocky Horror, I said Tim Curry was sexy!"

She shook his shoulders, "you did no such thing! You ask if I also think a guy is hot and you said- oh." It clicks for her and she falls back on her ass. She covers her face, "holy shit."

Steve smirks, "holy shit."

A giggle escapes her lips, "you so have a type."

"Shut up," he groans.

But before they can really dig into it, there's a loud knock on the door. "We're gonna open the door in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!" The door swings in a Dustin's hand is over his eyes like he's gonna be scarred at the sight of them.

"We're literally just sitting on the floor Henderson. Not having freaky bathroom sex," Steve rolls his eyes and stands, Robin following suit.

Dustin looks upset like he expect his plan to work. "I don't get it." Steve ruffles his hair as he passes the kid. Robin lets out a small laugh as she stretches her limbs like she had been stuck in there for more than just 15 minutes. Steve turns, and she locks eyes with him, a silent question.

"Kid, I've said this a million times, but I'll say it one more time." He glances at the other kids that had either always been there or gotten here at some point since he'd been locked into the bathroom. "Robin and I will never date. She and I have no romantic feelings for each other. And if you pull this shit when we're at work again, I'll kill you."

"It's not like it was hard to figure out how to check someone out," Max shrugged and Steve huffed at her nonchalant grin from behind the counter.

Steve ushers the kids out from behind the counter before taking his normal spot, looking around at the empty store. Robin moves and bumps shoulders with him. "Platonic feelings only." She gestures between them.

Dustin groan, "I just don't get why!"

Steve glances at Robin, "because I'm too gay for her." He states and everyone goes quiet. "Honestly boobies are so high school." He winks at Robin who looks at him like he's bravely stupid.

"Wait but you dated Nancy?" Mike questioned arms over his chest.

Steve rolled his eyes, "so? I am more picky on who I date. Doesn't matter the gender. Robin doesn't tick my boxes."

"But she should!" Dustin complains and Robin groans.

But then Steve sees someone in the windows, heading towards the doors to Family video. "My type is more," and he just gestures just as the door dings to call their attention to the newcomer.

Eddie Munson glances at the kids and then at Steve. "Sheepies," he says. Eyebrows raised in confusion at the eyes on him. Eddie glanced at Steve, "Harrington, you break the kids?" He asks as all the kids continue to stare at him as he moves to the horror section.

Steve waves his hand, like he can brush off the confusion. "Nah, they're just shocked that I'm not completely in love with Birdie over here."

Everyone's jaw is on the floor as Steve leans his arms on the counter, not even bothering to hide the way he checks Eddie out when the man looks away. "Right," Eddie sighs and grabs a movie. "Well, not everyone's type is jocks." Eddie teases slightly, having warmed up to Steve little by little when Steve picks the kids up from Hellfire.

Steve takes the movie from Eddie, giving him his one free movie he gets for the week and hands it back to Eddie without charging him. "I'll win ya over." He winks, and Eddie's eyes go a little wide.

Eyes glanced around like he could ask if anyone else saw that. "Um, well, yeah, how-how much for the-"

"Consider it on me." Steve waved his hand and then leaned more into Eddie's space, "I haven't seen this one yet."

Eddie swallows, "You should check it out. It's, uh, pretty good."

Steve smiles, "I'm shit with horror, maybe if I had someone to hold my hand through it." He sighs overdramatically, then snaps, "Oh, I know! If you're not busy we could watch it together. I mean, it seems like a scary metalhead like yourself would be capable of holding my hand through the jump scares."

Eddie's eyes are blinking rapidly, "it's for the boys." He says, looking lost. Steve frowns, and Eddie jumps into action, "But I could-" He stops himself and groans. "I've got to- plans- fuck-" He stumbles and practically smacks into the door in his rush to leave family video.

Steve sighs and leans his head down on the counter. Robin pats his back, "I miss my whiteboard." She sighs and he looks up to glare at her.

[florallylly]

concept: eddie has heard many a rumor about king steve, but he's actually never really bothered to seek him out. and while he was doing his lunchtime monologues, steve was usually hanging out with tommy and carol in the parking lot. so despite hawkins high being a small school, he's never connected the rumor to the boy.

he HAS however seen steve, he just doesn't know it. and it's basically love at first sight, but eddie is never able to catch up to him and learn his name. so whenever he talks to his friends, he just calls him the guy with the Fat Ass.

and his friends always brush over steve harrington whenever eddie tries to point out the "love of his life." so it becomes a running joke that eddie is in love with some sort of ghost with a Fat Ass.

then one day, steve peeks into the drama room, looking for dustin. and all eddie can do is point and say "you... you fat ... fat ass." and steve is just like "rude."

[sp0o0kylights]

Eddie led a weird life.

This was something he welcomed, given half the things people thought were “weird” was just his fashion sense or preference for table top games.

Small potatoes to the larger things in life, really. 

Of course, this was before he found out there was an evil version of Hawkins underneath him. 

Now Eddie did things that would previously sent his old self into a fucking coma. 

His friendship with Steve Harrington for example.

Dude saved his life and bridal-style carried him out of literal hell.

It’d have been rude not to be friendly with the guy after that, even if they weren’t both  members of a very exclusive and bloody club, with trauma and secrets that really only a select few people would ever understand.  

Sleeping over at Harrington’s half the week also made perfect sense, and Eddie will argue that to his very grave. 

It turns out nightmares suck, and waking up screaming all the time sucks even more.

Something everyone involved in this entire escapade (and all the ones prior) knew.

Because more bodies means more eyes to look out for you, and feeling safe means you might actually sleep for an hour, they all got used to showing up at each other's houses at odd hours of the night.

Pulled one another out of nightmares and got comfortable with the fact that they slept better, together.

Steve’s house in particular is typically void of both adults and annoying freshmen, which meant it's the most comfortable place for a lot of people to crash together. 

(Sometimes the annoying freshmen do show up and maybe Eddie is also a little weirdly overprotective of the whole Party now, and alright fine, he enjoys all their company, even Erica's--but who's keeping track? 

He isn’t. 

He’s busy arguing all this is perfectly normal.) 

Sleeping in Steve’s bed is where things get a little tricky. 

See, when it was more than just Robin and Eddie crashing at Casa De Harrington, they all sleep in the living room. 

Steve drags out some fancy blow up mattress (an air mattress what the fuck) and changes the couches around and long story short his fucking living room is more comfortable than Eddie’s own bed has ever been. 

But when it's just Eddie and Robin, they retire to Steve’s stupid huge bed, so large the damn thing takes up most of his equally massive room. 

(“This isn’t weird right?” He’d asked Robin once, hanging his head over the edge of the bed while Steve did--whatever it was he was doing to his hair in the bathroom. 

Robin, who was busy rifling through Steve’s drawers for a shirt to steal, stopped and looked at him, one eyebrow raised. 

“Not unless you make it weird, Munson.” She’d told him, and well, that was all the permission he needed.

They slept together in tight groups, where it was easiest to defend each other in case of Upside Down fucking monster attack.

Case closed.) 

Sleeping in Steve Harrington’s bed, without the buffer that was Robin Buckley, is where the lies started.

Because it was weird. 

It was incredibly weird, and did guys even do this solo?

Eddie hadn’t. If one of Hellfire or the band stayed over, it was a strictly floor/bed/couch situation unless there were more than three of them, and that was within Eddie’s small ass trailer. 

Sure they piled up if they had to, but it wasn't like it was with Steve. All tangled limbs and being right up in each others space, no pillow or blanket or anything as a buffer.

Hell, Eddie had woken up getting spooned or doing the spooning more than once, and no one said shit.

How Steve made it sound so genuinely normal was beyond him. 

Not that Eddie argued about it.

 Not the first time of the fifth or the twenty-fifth, and not even after Robin pointed out he was rooming with Harrington more than she was.

Because he just slept better, next to Steve.

(Steve apparently, felt the same.

Or must have given it kept happening.)

It wasn’t like Steve didn’t crash at Eddie’s trailer either--his parents had come right home upon hearing about the earthquake, and had been a bit more present after running into the joint forces of Jim Hopper and Joyce Byers in the hospital lobby. 

Add in Wayne’s own Disapproving Stare (TM) and the town being up each other’s ass to try and keep it together, and suddenly Mr. and Mrs. Harrington were hanging out in Hawkins that much more.

(Steve seemed to think it was more to save face rather than because they actually gave a shit, which Eddie felt was obvious but he wasn’t gonna say it. 

“They’re trying I think. They just--they’ve never encountered anything like this.” He’d said, a little frown line pinching his eyebrows together.

“Stevie, no one has faced anything like what we have. Your parents, on the other hand, are only dealing with what they think is the aftermath of an earthquake and plenty of people have seen those.”

Steve had sighed. Stared a little helplessly, like he knew he was making excuses but couldn’t help himself.

 “I know, Eds. I know.”) 

Them being home more meant Steve was at Eddie’s more--on grounds that Robin’s parents were fine with him hanging out but drew some kind of weird not--very--hippy line at him sleeping over.

Which was fine.

Great even, the Eddie and Steve had never slept better! Sucks to be Robin, who had to call up Nancy Wheeler if she wanted to share.

All this was, was trauma buddies being guy pals who were very comfortable with each other due to said fucking trauma. 

Steve used to help Eddie take a piss for fucks sake, and according to literally everyone else involved in the Vecna related mess, this was their fourth go round with supernatural shit.

Chances of it all happening a fifth time seemed kinda high, even if the gate was supposedly closed and the psychotic meat puppet madman six feet underground. 

Sharing was caring, and caring was not letting your new buddy you saved fight off monsters alone if they popped back up.

Plus he and Steve spent a huge amount of time together, almost as much time as Steve did with Robin.They were all in each other’s back pockets to the point that Eddie’s band was used to it, with Gareth even starting to make secret lover jokes about it all. 

(The dick.)

They were just really good friends dealing with the shit life had dealt them. That was it, that was the whole ass story.

Eddie’s growing gay crisis aside.

So no. It wasn't all the time with Harrington that sent Eddie over the edge. Nor was it the bed sharing, rapidly dropping boundaries, or even the fact that Steve knew where Eddie kept his condoms (An accident Eddie wouldn't ever live down, holy shit.)

No, what sent him into an absolute, hair tearin' meltdown, was the day Steve woke up, rolled over, kissed Eddie right on the lips and then went to make breakfast.

No good morning, no how ya doin.

Steve just left Eddie there, clutching onto the sheets for dear life and mildly terrified he’d just hallucinated the entire encounter.

(Hell, maybe the whole thing was hallucinated. 

Maybe he died in the Upside Down and this was some sort of sick version of the afterlife. 

Eddie pinched himself, and when that wasn’t enough, bit his own knuckle. Both hurt, which was unfortunate, because death seemed preferable to dealing with life right then.)  

Unfortunately for him, Steve did not run back into the room with a myriad of excuses, which meant Eddie had to experience the horrifying ordeal of getting out of bed, putting his clothes on and going into the trailer’s kitchen--because Steve hadn’t even had the decency to wreck Eddie’s life at his own house. 

‘What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck--’

Heart galloping, Eddie put on his big boy pants--metaphorically and physically--before stepping out into the kitchen and confront his friend.

Who was cooking shirtless, without a care in the world. 

It still took him a full thirty seconds to get his mouth to work.

“Hey Stevie? Do you want to tell me what that was about?” 

"Hmm?” Steve replied. His eyes were hooded, hair mussed in a way Eddie knew only a few select people had ever seen it.

He looked half asleep, and proved it a second later when he reached twice for the one of the two mugs on the counter and missed entirely.

Eddie swung in, grabbing one and offering it out for Steve to pour coffee into, before swapping it out for the other mug once Steve was done. 

Stayed in Steve’s space even as the former jock fussed with adding in milk and sugar and whatever else he was feeling, working up the courage to say something.

Anything. 

“Uh, the--just now?” Eddie squeaked. He coughed to clear his voice, trying desperately to act normal.

Look normal.

Like he hadn't just been kissed by the guy he had absolute worst crush on.

Steve, bless him, didn’t tease him. Just shoved one of the mugs into Eddie’s hands and kept the other for himself.

Took a nice, slow sip, adam's apple bobbing and Eddie quickly averted his gaze, staring firmly into his coffee. 

“What happened?” Steve asked a second later, sounding a touch more clear, and not at all like he was experiencing deep regret, or dodging the question, or even aware of what had happened. 

Eddie had two seconds to realize that hell, maybe Steve really didn’t know, before his mouth once betrayed him. 

“When you kissed me?” And motherfucker, for once, Eddie wished he would think before he fucking spoke.

(Wayne had always told him he'd come to regret it. He just hadn't thought it'd be like this!)

“Oh.” Steve said, very anticlimatically. “I didn’t realize I did that, sorry.” 

Eddie's entire body twitched.

One long shudder, like it was rejecting the very words coming out of Steve's mouth.

“You didn’t,” He tried, voice dry and cracking. He realized his hands were shaking and promptly put his mug down before he dropped it. “You just--what, did that on instinct?”

“...Kinda, yeah.” Steve said and why the hell did he sound entirely unphased!? 

Was this some kind of weird jock thing? Did the basketball team all wake up together and kiss each other on the mouth?! Did they think it was some sort of straight--guy haha joke, or fucking--Eddie didn’t even know what, because Eddie was too busy spiraling. 

“Steve I’m gay.” He blurted out, mouth now firmly ahead of his brain. 

He instantly wanted to take it back.

Grab the words with his hands, and cram it into his mouth.

Maybe Steve was only cool with it if he thought Eddie was straight.

Hell, maybe he fucking did it while sleep walking or something and Eddie was the one being weird about it, or he--fuck, really did imagine it and, and--!

“I know.” Steve told him, interrupting Eddie’s catastrophizing entirely. 

“You know?” Eddie stared at him, feeling like the world had fallen out from underneath his feet. “How do you know!?” 

He actually had a pretty good idea of how Steve knew, considering they were both friends with Robin, but while Robin was comfortably out to both of them, Eddie was not. 

Had not in fact, even confirmed that he was queer to Robin herself, though he’d hinted at it plenty and shared more than one inside joke.

Didn’t think Robin had outed him or anything, but more that, well…

Steve was smarter than the kids made him sound, that’s for damn sure. 

“Honestly dude? You’re not subtle.” Steve told him and at least he finally sounded serious.

Like this was a much needed conversation and not some weird tangent Eddie was on. 

“The handkerchief, that triangle pin that you and Robin both have, the fact that you once jumped in my pool to get away from Dustin asking about you're dating life."

He rolled one hand in an etc. all gesture, before adding;  “Also there was that time you and Robin got absolutely smashed on my dad’s whiskey and argued about who the hottest Rocky Horror actor was.” 

Eddie’s mouth sprang open to defend himself, but absolutely nothing came out. 

When had they even watched Rocky Horror together!? 

“You kept insisting the guy who played Brad was hotter than the one who played Rocky, remember? I thought Robin was going to strangle you because she like, adores Susan Sarandon.” Steve continued, like they were having one of their playful little spats and not--not discussing Steve kissing him!

“You guys asked me to tie-break,” He added slowly,  like he was trying to jog Eddie’s memory. “and I told you guys I thought both were hot.” 

Which--oh.

Oh.

“Okay so you’re…?” 

Not going to kill me is what Eddie intended to say, but Steve took it as another question entirely, and answered with a nod and a hum. 

Which--okay. 

Steve Harrington was bisexual, and also already thought he’d come out to Eddie. 

He could roll with that. 

That was not the problem, at all. 

The problem was; “That doesn’t explain the kiss though?!” 

Steve finally put his coffee down, huffing out exasperatedly. “I  wasn’t lying when I said I didn’t realize I did it, man. We share a bed a lot and I guess I wasn’t--I must have--” 

And now, finally, Steve was getting embarrassed. A red flush spread across his cheeks and down his neck, vivid even on his tan skin. 

He ran a hand through his hair, and Eddie knew purely from the sheer amount of time they spent together that it was a self-soothing action. 

“I guess I’m sorry?”

It came out less as a question and more as an accusation-- which Steve himself seemed to hear because he immediately corrected it with a far less sassy and much more sincere; “No I am--I’m sorry.” 

None of which answered why Steve had kissed him. 

“You didn’t think I was Nance, did you?” Eddie asked, because apparently he just couldn't stop while he was ahead.

Maybe he should have died. It'd be better for both of them, considering he was doing about as good as kicking Steve while he was down.

Steve, the guy who had saved Eddie's life and was now one of his best friends and here Eddie was, dragging this out of him like a moron.

“No.” Steve said immediately. Reflexively, almost, firm and sure. “I am very aware you’re not Nancy.”

‘Let it go Eddie. Don’t make it weird Eddie. Just laugh it off and say okay--’

“Then who did you think it was? I mean you said it was instincts and like, I'm not stupid. I know I can be confused for Nance in the low light, it's happened before but--"

Stupid, stupid, stupid! 

“I didn’t think. I knew it was you." Steve interrupted. "I knew I was kissing you, Eddie."

Oh god, just kill him now.

Hell he'd even take a Vecna death! With all the gross gore and the shitty villain monologue!

"This morning I was tired, and I was sleepy, and I apparently skipped the part in my head were I asked you out and we were dating.” Steve deadpanned at him.

Eddie gaped, mind shattered and rapidly reforming.

It was like the universe was recreating itself, only this time all the stars had aligned and his wish had come true and some Disney director had taken control of his life--

“But I get it if I’m not your type." Steve was saying, because Steve was perfect.

And Kind.

And wanted to date Eddie.

"I’m sorry if I made things uncomf-mmphhh!” 

‘Mmmph’ because Eddie had flung himself at Steve, face first, the second "I asked you out and we were dating" had finished processing.

(Which was alarming fast, considering he'd been struggling all morning.)  

‘D--ff--ing?” 

Steve laughed in his mouth as Eddie tried to talk while kissing, pulling away slightly and holding his chest back with a hand when Eddie tried to chase him anyway. 

“Yes, dating. As in, would you, Eddie Munson, like to go on a date with me, Steve Harrington?” 

“Yes.” Eddie’s mouth said. 

At least this time it and his brain were on the same wavelength. 

“Yes I very much would.” He put some weight into his lean, making it harder for Steve to hold him back. “I think you can tell, by the way I'm trying to kiss you. Which you are not doing."

He pouted, and refused to be embarrassed about his behavior.

Steve laughed, and he might have said something like “God you changed up fast” except he had given in and let Eddie close again, and his words were now being swallowed down.

Eddie's life was weird alright, and now it was weird even by his own standards, but he wouldn't have it any other way.

[imfinereallyy]

“The demon is back.” Eddie pokes into Steve’s side to wake him up.

“Babe, please go back to sleep.” Steve shoves his face into the pillow, making his voice muffled.

“Steeeeve.” Eddie whines, “It’s really there I swear this time. And I locked the door so I know it’s the demon again. Nothing else can get inside.”

“Eddie.” Steve squishes his face even deeper into the mattress. “You do this at least once a week. I love you; I do. But I never look because there is no demon. And every morning, you wake up fine. So please, go back to sleep.”

“What if I promise never to mention it again if it’s not really there? Will you look then?” This time Eddie’s voice wavers, his actual terror showing.

Steve sighs and shifts his head to look at Eddie, “This is really freaking you out, huh?” He says it kindly. Steve can tell this is serious to Eddie. So even if he doesn’t believe it, Eddie does. And what’s important to Eddie is important to Steve.

Eddie nods back furiously.

“Okay, I’ll look.” Steve shifts his head towards the other side, where the chair by the window sits. There, sitting in that corner is a dark shadowy figure. “Oh.”

“See! I told you! Demon! Oh god, it’s gonna get us.” Eddie throws his hands up. Even though he’s terrified, he’s accepted defeat.

“No.” Steve says calmly. “It’s just El.”

Eddie pauses his rant, “What?”

“It’s just El. In the corner. She does that sometimes, watches people she cares about until she falls asleep. To make sure they’re safe.” Steve looks at Eddie.

“The door was locked! How are you so calm about one of the kids just watching us at night?”

“Honey, she has mind powers. I don’t think a flimsy lock from Home Depot is going to stop her.” Steve deadpans before shrugging, “And it’s El. She could ask me to kill a man, and I probably wouldn’t even ask questions.”

“What if she asked you to kill me?”

“I’d be conflicted.”

“I want to be mad, but honestly I think I’d hand you the knife.” Eddie sighs, looking down at Steve.

Steve scoffs, “Don’t be ridiculous. I wouldn’t stab you. I’d obviously sneak some kind of poison into your honeycombs. Way less messy.”

Eddie goes back to nearly shouting, “Why have you thought about this?!”

“Honestly, I have a lot of intrusive thoughts. I just don’t speak them out loud.”

Despite the fact they are actively talking about his murder, Eddie can’t help but get all gooey with Steve in their bed. “Is this why you don’t get mad when I think aloud? Another reason why you just get me. Adding that tally to the ‘why we are great together’ column.”

“Yes, we’re pretty amazing. Can we go back to sleep now?” Steve smiles.

“Yes—wait, no.” Eddie corrects himself, getting himself back on track. He loves this man, but he is a sneaky little minx. “Why did El never say anything? I mean, this is not the first time I accused her of being a demon. Hell, we’ve been talking for literally five minutes, and she still hasn’t said anything. Also, what if she walked in on us doing, ya know, adult stuff?” Eddie blushes at the end. He’s acting like he hasn’t been whispering way worse things in Steve’s ear every night.

“First off, she won’t walk in on that. Apparently Max taught her about happy screams a long time ago.”

“Gross.”

“Yeaaa. Second, I’m pretty sure she’s asleep right now.”

Huh, now that Eddie thinks about it, he does hear soft little snores. Which is weird since neither he nor Steve snores, and they are both, ya know, awake.

“And I don’t think El speaking in a dark corner would have helped your fears. Like imagine just hear her soft “Hello” at 2 a.m.” Steve raises an eyebrow.

“I—okay I got nothing.”

“Fantastic can we go back to sleep now?”

Eddie gives one last shout, “You’re not going to stop her?”

“Are you going to tell her no? And make her worry?”

Eddie slinks down into the covers, “...no.”

“That’s what I thought.”

Eddie curves his body into Steve’s, seeking him out. Steve wraps his arms around Eddie, securing him to his chest. “Thank you for indulging me.”

Steve hums. “Anything for you baby. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Eddie kisses Steve lightly.

“I love you both as well.” El’s voice suddenly speaks into the silent room.

“Jesus Christ!” Eddie screams.

Steve can’t help the giggles that come out of him. He tries to smother them into Eddie’s shoulder.

Eddie can’t find it in himself to be mad.

———

some people seemed interested in more el + Steve sibling energy. And they are a sibling-like duo I love. So here’s a little something but more steddie involved. I think all three of their relationship would be very sweet. Both Eddie and Steve would protect el. I hope you enjoyed :)

[andvys]

I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 7

Warnings: slight angst, reader and Eddie getting high together, mentions of cheating and break up's, mentions of bullying, reader and eddie are really affectionate with each other but it’s all platonic. mentions of drugs and alcohol, mentions of Eddie's abusive dad

Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!cheerleader!reader , Steve Harrington x Nancy Wheeler

Summary: Eddie tells you about the night he found Steve at the hideout.

Word Count: 4.6k

A/N: well, I finally figured out how to make headers, let’s see if I will keep doing them haha

masterlist

-

The room smells like hot chocolate, cinnamon and a hint of Eddie’s cologne. The mug on the table that was filled to the brim is now halfway empty. A box of Christmas cookies that your mom gave him when he came by last night is in between the two of you. He hasn’t stopped munching on them since you started the movie; Halloween. 

You couldn’t choose between Friday the 13th and Halloween so you let him pick. 

After you let your friends know that you were leaving, you and Eddie went to the diner to eat something before you went back to his trailer after renting a few movies at Family Video. 

“I can’t believe that this is your favorite movie,” Eddie says as he bites into the snowflake shaped cookie. 

You turn to look at him. He is still wearing the same clothes as before just like you. 

“Are you judging me?” You snort, swatting his arm. “You literally picked it.”

He chuckles and looks at you with a smirk, “I picked between the ones you chose.”

“You literally said that Halloween is one of your favorite movies!” 

He shrugs, chewing the cookie before he speaks up again, “maybe I lied.”

You roll your eyes and lean back, “so what’s your favorite movie then, master of dungeons?”

The nickname makes him chuckle, he turns his head away from the screen, “Halloween.” 

He laughs when you shake your head in disbelief, grabbing one of the pillows, you hit him with it, causing him to laugh harder. 

“Dork.” 

He snorts at you, “dork? What happened with the master of dungeons?” 

You lean closer to him and look into his eyes with a serious look on your face, “he turned into a massive dork.”

“If I’m a dork then what are you?” 

“A fairy witch,” you wink at him and reach for one of the cookies before you lean back. 

His eyes flash with amusement, his lips curl into a smile, “right,” he laughs, “is the fairy witch gonna stay over tonight?” 

You face him again, the cookie is still in your hand. There’s a knowing look in his eyes.

He knows your mom won’t be home tonight, she is working the night shifts this week and won’t be home until the morning. If there is one thing that Eddie had learned about you in the time you had become friends, is that you hate going to sleep when you are home alone, he doesn’t know why but he noticed your anxiety early on. He saw the tired look in your eyes in the mornings and he noticed how easily you would drift off to sleep when he came by after school to study. You would make up excuses when he’d ask you about it but he could see through you. 

He doesn’t know the reasoning behind your fears but he understands it. When he was a kid, he was restless, he struggled to sleep at nights because of his dad, who usually came home late after spending the night drinking or doing drugs. Whenever Eddie would hear the front door opening, his heart would start racing and he would be on high alert – his dad always picked fights with his mom and all Eddie ever wanted to do was to protect her. But he was just a kid and his dad was a violent man. 

Eddie couldn’t protect her. 

When he moved in with Wayne, nothing changed for the first few months. He kept staying up at nights – the anxiety and the fear that always lingered kept him up. Whenever he would fall asleep, nightmares would wake him up. He would hear the trailer door being slammed open, he would hear his mom screaming, his dad yelling and hitting things. Eddie would wake in cold sweat, he would jump up from the bed and run out of the room to stop his dad from hitting her only to realize that the trailer door never opened, his dad never came in and his mom would never be there again. 

He knows that you are struggling with something too but he would never push you to talk. He just wants to protect you. 

“We could watch Friday the 13th and y’know, share a joint.” 

You swallow. 

“You don’t mind me staying over?”

Eddie frowns at your question and shakes his head, “why would I ask if I minded you staying over? You know you’re always welcome here, sweetheart.” 

You smile at his words. Eddie always knows how to make you feel safe and comfortable. Heather and Chrissy make you feel that way too but it’s different with them. You love and appreciate them but there are things that you can’t say to them – not because you don’t trust them but because you wouldn’t be able to deal with their pitiful looks, it’s been bad enough already after he dumped you. 

You aren’t the only one who refuses to speak about certain things. You know that Chrissy has a secret, one that Heather is keeping safe from you. It hurts a little because a part of you is scared that it might have something to do with you. Why else would they keep a secret from their best friend?

“Then I’d love to stay the night.” 

He smiles, “cool.”

After you finish watching the movie, you carry the empty mugs and the box of cookies back into the kitchen. Eddie turns off the TV and reaches for the other movie tape before he leads you into his room. He turns on the small lamp on his nightstand and throws the tape on his bed. He walks over to his dresser and opens the top drawer. 

“You know, the joint you mentioned earlier…” you mumble as you let yourself fall on his bed, curiously staring at the handcuffs that remain a mystery to you. 

“You know, they should be calling you ‘the stoner’, not me,” he snorts. He turns back to you and hands you a shirt, he eyes you up and down, “here, that dress is pretty but it can’t be comfortable to sleep in,” he laughs. 

“How kind of you,” you chuckle. You unfold the shirt, your eyes widen a little, “isn’t that your favorite one?” 

He nods as he takes the chain around his neck off and places it on his nightstand. 

“My favorite girl gets my favorite shirt,” he says, ruffling your hair as he winks at you. 

You swat his hand away and laugh, “how many girls do you say that to, Eddie?” 

He raises his brows and places his hand on his chest, “you think I’m bringing home girls? Did you forget who I am?” He laughs, shaking his head. 

You furrow your brows. You drop the shirt on your lap and tilt your head to look at him. 

You and Eddie haven’t been friends for long but you feel comfortable with each other – comfortable enough for him to take his shirt off in front of you. He throws it over his chair, he stands there shirtless for a second, scratching the spot around his new tattoo. He is just your friend but you are not blind, Eddie is pretty in a way no other guy at school is – except for Steve.

“You’re saying that you don’t bring any girls home?” You ask as you carefully pull the straps of your dress down your arms before you put the shirt on. Too lazy to get up and change in the bathroom, you take the dress off after pulling the shirt down to your thighs. 

He puts on a black tank top and closes the drawer. “And no, I don’t bring any girls home. I’m a freak, nobody wants me.” 

“Don’t say that,” you frown. 

“Well, it’s the truth,” he chuckles as he drops down on the bed beside you after getting the pre rolled joint and a lighter, “girls don’t want me and honestly, I don’t care. I wouldn’t want to bring random girls home anyways.” 

You raise your brows in surprise, it makes him chuckle but his eyes flash with confusion. 

“What?” 

“You actually wouldn’t bring home girls?” You ask. “Like, not even if they were throwing themselves at you?”

“You mean if I was popular?” He snorts.

You nod.

He shakes his head, he scoots closer to you and offers you the joint. You take it in between your fingers and bring it up towards your mouth, wrapping your lips around it, you look at him expectedly, nudging your chin towards the lighter in his hand. He holds it up to the joint and flicks the lighter, holding the flame against the bud of the joint. You inhale and close your eyes. 

Eddie chuckles and pats your back when you open your eyes and exhale the smoke without coughing this time. 

“Like a real stoner.” 

“Shut up,” you chuckle and offer him the joint which he takes right away. He places it in between his lips and lies back, tucking his arm behind the pillow. He looks up at the ceiling and sighs after exhaling the smoke. For a moment, it’s silent between the two of you. 

You stand up and place your dress over the back of his chair after folding it. You turn on the TV before you plop back down on the bed. 

“I won’t lie to you, I’ve hooked up with uh – maybe three girls but they didn’t bother sticking around, they wouldn’t even look at me afterwards, they looked disgusted, every single one of them. I-I don’t know what I was thinking, I was hoping that it would be different each time but they were the same, all of them. The sex was good but uh I honestly don’t see the point of it if they don’t bother sticking around or if there’s no actual meaning behind it.”

Your heart breaks for him. You can imagine what he must have felt like when they treated him that way. You can see the sadness in his eyes, even when he tries to mask it. 

You scoot closer to him and reach for his hand, his eyes meet yours and he smiles at you. 

“You deserve better Eddie,” you whisper, squeezing his hand. “They were stupid cunts.” 

A laugh falls from his lips, he tries to mask the hurt in his eyes with amusement but you can see through him, just like he can see through you. 

“You know, Steve wouldn’t look at me either, sometimes. He just uh, he would fuck me, he would finish and then he would pass out. He rarely ever held me or kissed me, he almost never said ‘I love you’ either.”

Eddie frowns at your words. He isn’t shocked but he is angry. 

“It hurt so bad because I loved him so much and all I wanted was for him to just hold me and tell me that he loves me but he didn’t and it made me overthinking everything,” you mumble as you blink the tears away, “and then there was Tommy who always said how men need new partners all the time, how they get bored with their girlfriends and I was praying that that wasn’t the case for Steve, that the reason why he never held me or kissed me was because he was just bad at being affectionate and romantic but then he agreed with what he said even though I was right there and it uh, it hurt, really fucking bad. I kinda lied to myself though, I kept telling myself that he did love me, that he didn’t get bored with me but then he left me for her and he changed for her so uh, I figured that Tommy was right all along.” 

Eddie scoffs, he shakes his head at your words, “that’s not true, sweetheart.”

“It’s not?” You ask as you look back up at him. 

“No. Tommy is a shittalker and Steve is an idiot – like a real idiot,” Eddie says as his eyes widen. He laughs a little, it’s a humorless laugh but a laugh nonetheless. “He was a piece of shit for not treating you the way you deserve to be treated but I think that he is one of those guys who lets his friends words get to him, who feels pressured to keep his reputation as some fucking heartbreak King rather than be a good boyfriend.” He looks like he knows something that you don’t. “He’s also the type of guy who doesn’t know what he has until it’s gone.” 

“That makes sense,” you say even though you are not sure whether it actually makes sense or not. He almost kissed you and then he told you that he still loves you, that he always loved you only to show up to the dance with Nancy, like nothing ever happened. 

Eddie stares at you. Your brows are furrowed and you have that same confused and lost look in your eyes that you always have whenever you get lost in your thoughts. 

“Hey uh, I should probably tell you something,” he says as he sits up. He scratches the back of his neck and offers you the joint. You take it but don’t smoke it yet. 

“What’s up?” 

He runs his fingers through his curls and he takes a deep breath, “I drove him home last night.”

“Huh?”

He sighs, “Steve. I drove him home last night. I went to the Hideout to get my notebook and he was there getting plastered. He followed me outside and started asking about the jacket,” he mumbles, pointing to the jacket that is now back in his room again. “He got all pissed and jealous.”

You roll your eyes and scoff at his words.

“He calmed down when I told him we’re friends but uh, he tried to leave and I would’ve felt awful letting him drive home like that so I drove him home.” 

A smile tugs at your lips, Eddie’s kindness is something that always warms your heart. To know that he is showing such kindness to people who don’t deserve it just proves even more how amazing he is. 

“He started crying.”

A shocked expression takes over your face and you draw back a little, “what?” 

“Yeah,” Eddie chuckles as he shakes his head. “He uh– well, first he insulted my music taste and then I turned on the radio for him, David Bowie came on and boom, I have a sobbing King Steve in my van.” 

“Oh,” you whisper, your gaze softens. “David Bowie?” 

“Mhmm.” He reaches for the joint again and places it between his lips, taking a drag before he places it into the ashtray on his nightstand. “Heroes.” 

Your lips part and your face falls. It was your song. Yours and his. To know that it has such a hold on him still, makes you feel things that you want to keep buried. 

You push yourself up and sit in front of him, “then what?”

Eddie’s brown eyes soften, he can see the pain in your features, the love that you still have for him. He can’t imagine how much pain there still is. He clears his throat.

“He said he misses you, that he doesn’t know what to do without you and that he wants you back.”

Your eyebrows draw together and your eyes feel hot with tears. Your heart hurts. After all, you still want him, deep down you do but you won’t take him back, not after everything he did. Not after the way he treated you, not after he cheated on you emotionally, not after he made you doubt everything, not after he told you that he never loved you, not after he left you for another girl. 

You look down to hide the tears in your eyes. After almost two months, you should be feeling better, you were starting feeling better but then he had to rip the bandaids of your wounds that he had given you. 

You don’t like crying in front of other people, you have never cried in front of Eddie before  but right now, you can’t really stop the tears from falling. It’s all just too much. 

“Hey,” Eddie whispers. His eyes soften and he doesn’t even hesitate before he opens his arms for you, offering you a hug that you so desperately need. You crawl over to him and let yourself fall into his arms. He wraps his arms around you as you lay your head on his chest. He rubs your back gently. “I’m here, I got you.”

You close your eyes and melt into the hug, this is what you needed. 

This is what he never gave you. The feeling of comfort and safety. The feeling of knowing that he won’t push you away again after a few minutes. 

You loved Steve – you love him. He was there but he was never with you. His mind was somewhere else, it always was. He gave you moments but he never gave you his all. With him you were never alone but god, you were so lonely. 

Eddie keeps holding you. The sound of your cries and the voices in the TV fill the silence in the room. 

He keeps rubbing your back, he plays with your hair and he doesn’t let go. 

Why couldn’t he just hold you like he does? 

“I know that this won’t make anything better but I think he loves you and he is starting to realize what he lost – only a man in love would get drunk at a bar he hates and break down in front of a guy he hates, also.” 

You sniffle and grip his shirt tighter. 

“Then why is he still with her? Why didn’t he love me before?”

“I think he always loved you, he was just too dumb to see and she,” he pauses, sighing. “She’s probably just a rebound now. Honestly, I think he was scared of all of this, his love for you. He was scared of it so he just threw it away and fucked it all up and now he’s following you around like some lost puppy.”

He does look like one, with his stupid brown eyes and the sad look in them. 

“Why are you telling me this, Eddie?”

He takes a deep breath, he looks down at you but you hide your face as you wipe your tears away. 

“I don’t know, I just think that he made a mistake and that the pain he put himself through shaped him into a different person,” he says, still glancing down at you, “I know you think that she changed him but that’s not the truth. I think he changed because of you – he’s still a dick and I don’t think that he deserves you but for what it’s worth, he does love you and he did love you even when he didn’t act that way but I saw the way he looked at you.”

You sniffle, trying to control your breathing as you look up at him, “what do you mean?” 

His eyes soften and he hugs you even tighter, “when you were still together, he always looked at you like.. shit, like you hung the moon and the stars,” he chuckles. “I was shocked when I found out that he left you for some other girl. Made no sense to me, still doesn’t, by the way.”

You don’t know whether his words make you feel better or worse. 

Eddie’s brown eyes are filled with sincerity and softness. 

He can’t understand how Steve could do this to you. How he could just treat you so horribly and break your heart so easily. 

“I think he really wants you back but I don’t think that he deserves a second chance, not yet.”

“Not yet?” 

“I’m not gonna say that he will ever deserve one but maybe–” he pauses, he sighs as he watches the tears rolling down your cheeks, “maybe he will change and maybe he will fight for you and maybe it will be worth giving him that chance.”

You scrunch your face up and slowly shake your head, “I can’t.”

“You don’t have to,” he says as he squeezes your arms, “it’s just, I can see that you love him and as much as I don’t like him or the idea of you going back to him, he really loves you too – it would be a shame if you both spend the rest of your lives longing for each other when you could just be together.” 

“What would you do?” You ask. You place your palms against his chest and you lean your chin on the top of your hands. “If you were in my place.”

He blinks and he stares at you for a long moment. 

“I would just focus on myself for now,” he mumbles. He reaches his hand out to touch your hair, running his fingers through it, “I would find things that I enjoy doing – not what I was forced to enjoy.” 

You look down and sigh. 

“I would try out new things, focus on school and I know that you will snatch that diploma, I’d get the hell out of here after that. Maybe in the future, you and Steve will find your way back to each other or maybe you will meet someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved,” he says.

You’re met with a soft look in his eyes when you raise your head to face him again. You smile at him. 

“You will snatch that diploma too, Eddie. I’ll help you.”

“I know you will,” he smiles. 

“And then we should get out of here together – we should move to LA so you can become the rockstar that you’re meant to be. We can rent a place together, I always wanted to live with a friend.”

He laughs at your words but then he falls quiet and his eyes flash with something you can’t read. 

“You know that might be a good idea.”

“I know it is.”

“Shit,” he chuckles, “we should actually do that.”

“Right?”

“Right,” he smiles.

“And what will you be?” He asks, turning his head to look at you as you lie back beside him. 

You lick your lips and stare at the new poster on his ceiling. What do you want to be? Who do you want to be?

You furrow your brows in concentration, a weird feeling settles in your chest. You don’t know. You don’t know anything, it seems like. Who even are you?

“I-I’m not sure.”

Eddie can sense the stress you’re feeling, he takes your hand in his, “hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to know yet.”

“I just.. I don’t even know what I want, Eddie,” you whisper, “I don’t even know who I am.”

You turn back to him, your sad eyes meet his. He squeezes your hand. 

“You’ll figure it out, I know you will and I’ll be there with you.” 

You maintain eye contact and scoot closer to him as you turn on your side. 

“You’re the best, Eddie.”

His eyes shift as he stares at you, he turns on his side as well, “nah, you are the best,” he smiles, tapping your nose the way he always does. 

“Don’t tell Heather or Chrissy but you might be my new best friend.” 

His eyes light up at your words and his smile widens, “only if you don’t tell Gareth and Jeff that you are my new best friend.” 

Your eyes widen, a giggle falls from your lips, “your secret is safe with me.”

“Yours is safe with me too.” 

“Pinky promise?” You ask as you hold your hand out to him. 

He laughs and brings his hand up, hooking his pinky around yours, “pinky promise.” 

You both fall silent as you look at each other with smiles on your faces. 

“Shit, who would’ve thought that I’d ever have the queen of Hawkins High in my bed.” 

“Shut up,” you laugh. 

For the rest of the night, you and Eddie talk about your lives after high school, dreaming about things that might never happen but it doesn’t matter, all that matters is the laughs you both share. You watch Friday the 13th and continue passing the joint back and forth, only making each other laugh harder by making fun of the movie that isn’t even funny. 

You are grateful for Eddie and for the love and kindness he is giving you. He has become your little beacon of hope. He is the one who makes you laugh now, he is the one who holds you when you need it the most, he is the friend that everything feels so natural with – even falling asleep in his arms when you’re in nothing but panties and his shirt. You wouldn’t have done that with any other guy but he makes you feel safe. 

When you wake up in his arms the next morning, you feel lost and confused for a second. His arms are wrapped around your waist and your head is on his chest, you can hear his heartbeat. For a moment, you thought you were somewhere else, in someone else’s arms but when you open your eyes and you are met with Eddie’s sleeping face, you relax a little. 

You can’t help but smile as you look at him. 

If Steve didn’t dump you, you wouldn’t be here. You would be in his bed right now. But you wouldn’t feel his arms around you, you wouldn’t feel his warmth, you wouldn’t feel him. You would wake up to a harsh reality, one where you continuously lied to yourself in order to keep him and to keep yourself happy. But were you ever happy? 

You miss him, despite what happened, you still miss him. 

But maybe it was for the better. 

Maybe it had to happen this way. 

You wouldn’t have Eddie now. You would have never become friends. And now, you wouldn’t trade this for anything in this world. This friendship has given you more than your relationship with Steve ever did. 

Yet, you still need closure. You want answers and a peaceful conversation. 

So you make the decision to try it. To try and talk and sort things out. You let go of him but there are still so many things that you don’t understand, things that will never give you if you don’t sit down and have that much needed conversation with him. 

When you show up at his house, later that night. You didn’t expect to see his parents' car in the driveway, next to his. You stand in the darkness for a moment, contemplating whether you should actually ring the doorbell or not. The lights are on in the kitchen and in the dining room. 

What if she is here?

What if they are having dinner together? 

Is she sitting in your spot now? 

Does his mom like her the way she always liked you? 

Does his dad hug her the way he hugged you whenever he saw you? 

You close your eyes and you take a deep breath, inhaling the cold air. You try to calm your heartbeat. Was it a good idea to come here? What if he doesn’t want to see you? What if–

You open your eyes and walk up the stairs, you ring the doorbell before your mind can convince you to turn on your heel and run. You can hear the faint sound of music in the house. 

You dig your nails into your palms as you grow more and more nervous. You bounce your knee and stare down at the snow beneath your boots. 

The door opens and you raise your head, for some reason you had expected Steve’s dad to open the door but instead it’s him. You watch as his eyes widen, they lighten up a little but they also flash with confusion. 

“Hi, can we talk?” 

next part

tagging friends & mutuals only!

@mysticmunson @wroteclassicaly @corrodedseraphine @corrodedcorpses @screammunson @hellfire--cult @taintedcigs @imjuststeddietrashatthispoint @sherrylyn628 @somethingvicked @take-everything-you-can @nemesis729

[princessfbi]

Tommy’s arms are warm as they wrap around Buck. + bucktommy

Tommy’s arms were warm as they wrapped around Buck. Warm and big.

Buck was still getting used to that. Big arms that could wrap around his waist and still have room to tighten. Big chest for him to curl up against and pillow his head. Big hands.

God, Tommy’s hands were huge.

A stubbled cheek scratched against his own before a soft kiss pressed into the column of his throat. Buck melted against the warmth, folding into Tommy as the bed dipped with their weight. Buck let out a noise from the back of his throat as he slid into Tommy's lap.

“You’re okay,” Tommy reminded him. Reminded him because Buck had asked him to. Something he should’ve done before the first time he slept over. But Buck had been foolishly hoping that they had gone away.

He hadn’t had a nightmare in the first two months of dating Tommy. They had started staying over after the first month. Tommy still took things slow— painfully slow if anyone asked a hot and bothered Buck when all he wanted was to feel Tommy toss him around a bit and then kiss him until he couldn’t see straight— but sharing space between each other had felt as natural as breathing. A hooked ankle under the table. A hand held in the car. A lean into each other’s weight while Buck inhaled the masculine scent that still sent a shockwave through Buck’s system. It’d been easy to feel safe and unguarded around one another to fall asleep in bed together.

Two months in and Buck had thought— stupidly— that they were gone. That every night would involve him curled up on Tommy’s chest or Tommy pressed to his back or Tommy’s head pillowed on his bicep while he clung to Buck’s waist. That every night would be perfect. Untainted.

Then the first nightmare came. It’d been an ugly, gnarly twisted monster of a thing. One that made Buck’s skin slick with a cold sweat and the oxygen trapped in his lungs. Seeing Tommy’s freaked out expression while he held Buck’s hand through a panic attack that sent him flying to the bathroom to puke had been almost worse than the nightmare itself.

Guilt and embarrassment had eaten away at his already frayed nerves. Tommy had sat down beside him on the too cold tile and rubbed his back while Buck retched. Then Tommy did the only thing he could do in that situation.

“What can I do?” He had asked.

“You’re okay, baby. Just breathe,” Tommy whispered into Buck’s skin, a firm but gentle hand rubbing across his sternum.

“Remind me I’m okay. That it’s— it’s not real.” Buck had said with his cheeks burning with humiliation and his eyes pointed down at his lap. Tommy had curled two fingers under his chin and tipped his eyes back up.

“Eddie’s fine. He’s at home. He’s okay,” Tommy said over and over again.

Buck must have been talking in his sleep. It was the only explanation for how Tommy knew that Buck’s nightmare had tasted like copper. That the ground had shook beneath his feet, making it impossible to get to his friend as he bled out on the pavement. How he’d reached and reached, screaming his name as something dragged him further and further away. His throat was raw from screaming when Eddie’s head and lulled in his direction but there hadn’t been a face. Just a sheen filter over a lifeless expression that would’ve broken Buck.

Tommy pressed his big palm flat over Buck’s racing heart and pulled Buck further into his lap, scooping up Buck’s legs so he could hold him fully.

“He’s okay. You’re okay. It was just a bad dream.” Tommy murmured into his hair as Buck curled his fists into Tommy’s sleep shirt.

“Sorry…” Buck croaked because even through the haze of the lingering panic still choking him, he could see how late... or rather early it was and Tommy had a shift.

“You don’t need to be sorry,” Tommy said, tightening his hold around Buck until the pressure started to ease away the tight ball of tension in Buck’s chest. “Just breathe for me.”

Buck breathed and it was stilted and ragged but it was real. Real and warm like Tommy curled around him.

It helped. It helped more than Buck could possibly say.

[hunnybuttons]

Before the Upside Down, Steve Harrington could sleep like the dead. Once he laid his head on the checkered pattern pillow, Steve would be oblivious to anything happening in the world around him as he found solace in his dreams.

Steve would never admit it to Tommy H or Carol, but his dreams were his only safe place. In Steve's dream world, he wasn't the son to absent parents or the perfect King Steve; he was whatever version of himself that would've never been allowed around the Harringtons or the population at Hawkins High. Steve was comforted by the anonymity that was created as he slept till an alarm or the sunlight peeking through his curtains woke him.

Before the Upside Down, Eddie Munson would laugh as he told the rest of Corroded Coffin about how much he slept during the weekend. But, groan when Uncle Wayne stomped into his bedroom at 4pm wondering, "Boy, since when did you become a vampire?"

Basically, Eddie found it hilarious that he could sleep 16 hours a day and still go to bed at 9pm every night. One thing about Eddie Munson before that fated afternoon with Chrissy Cunningham, he could sleep like a corpse and never worry about sleep avoiding his clutches. Because as Uncle Wayne or a member of Corroded Coffin could tell anyone, Eddie loved to sleep and would theoretically kill anyone who tried to disrupt his slumber.

After the Upside Down, Eddie Munson and Steve Harrington found solace in one another as they struggled to remember who they were before circumstances led them to emotional, mental, and physical scars. Steve could no longer find comfort in his dream world as it replayed his most traumatizing moments from the last couple of years. Eddie could no longer sleep like the dead since he actually knew what it felt like to lay limp and face death.

Eddie and Steve stare into one another's eyes as they share a pillow in Steve's massive bed. Eddie whispers to Steve about how envious he is of his past self as he dramatically recounts Uncle Wayne's stomps or Corroded Coffin's scoffs. As Eddie spoke, Steve wonders if Eddie could be trusted with his deepest secrets about who he wishes he could be.

As Eddie's giggles fade into the dark of the night, Steve clears in throat and begins to tell Eddie about the lack of safety he has felt since turning 12 and being handed bundles of money that were to be budgeted until his parents came back home from whatever business trip Jonathan Harrington needed to attend. Steve mumbles about Tommy and Carol, or anyone else, never being able to fill the hollow space that was this mausoleum of a house until Dustin Henderson hijacked Nancy's roses and forced Steve to go on a wild demo dog chase. With a smile that actually reaches Steve's eyes, he tells Eddie how he finally knew what a mutual love felt like when Robin refused to get a new job without Steve.

Eddie desperately wants to read between the lines and believe himself to be someone who brought something into Steve's life. The begging words he sends up to whatever universal force doesn't want to continue fucking his life are interrupted as Steve looks Eddie in the eyes and admits, "Eddie Munson, you brought light and noise into my life."

Steve Harrington never understood how significant it was to feel the sun on his skin until Eddie woke up from his coma after his encounter with the bats, and begged for the blinds in his hospital room to be opened. Eddie's smile changed as he adjusted to the new scars on his skin, but Steve has never seen something so beautiful in his life.

Steve flinched in noisy environments when he remembers how angry his father would get if Steve existed too loudly. But, since Eddie took Steve to the middle of nowhere and convinced him to just scream, Steve has found himself seeking out music that taught him to release his emotions instead of pushing them further and further down.

Steve Harrington finally found safety in the real world when Eddie Munson whispers, "Stevie, please let me kiss you."

[estrellami-1]

If I Should Stay

Y’all are the absolute funniest most of the tags/comments on part 2 were either “oh shit Nancy????” Like we as a collective Steddie hivemind genuinely forgot Steve and Nancy were a Thing for a minute and I think that’s so sexy of us. OR y’all went “OH THANK FUCK ROBIN REMEMBERS” which. Y’all. Y’all don’t understand how little control I actually have over this fic �� like genuinely I’m not creating anything, it’s writing itself, I’m just writing the words down. It’s fantastic. 😂 also keep in mind I have a tentative posting schedule of every 4 days so expect something on/around the 16th! ❤️

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Eddie runs.

He’s terrified and a coward but it’s kept him alive this long so he runs, books it back to his van, ignores Harrington calling out for him, only realizes when he’s most of the way home that he’s still got the ring clenched in his hand.

He stares at it long enough at a stoplight that someone honks at him when it turns green. “What the fuck,” he whispers again, placing it on his desk when he gets home. “What the fuck.”

Wayne knocks on his door then immediately pokes his head in, which completely defeats the purpose of the knock, but Eddie’s door was open anyways. “Eds?”

“Yeah?”

“Y’alright, kiddo?”

“I think I hallucinated.”

Wayne’s silent for a few long moments. “Did you take somethin’? Or are you bein’ dramatic?”

“I didn’t take anything.”

Wayne sighs. “Wanna tell me what you think you hallucinated?”

He’s about to, it’s on the tip of his tongue, but he can’t quite say it. Like there’s a dam at the front of his mouth, and the words can’t break through. He lets out a desperate chuckle and shakes his head, flopping backwards onto his bed. “I don’t even know.”

Wayne raises a brow, but before he can respond, there’s a knock on the trailer door.

Knock is a polite term for it. It’s more like someone’s trying to break down the door with their fist. “Munson!” Someone yells. “Open this door, dammit, or I will drag you out by your ears!”

“Boy,” Wayne says, looking at him. “What the fuck did you get yourself into?”

Eddie groans, grabs his pillow, and screams into it.

When he surfaces for air, Wayne’s gone, talking to the person at the front door. Eddie vaguely recognizes the voice. Female, young, probably someone he has a class with.

Wayne, the traitor, lets her in, and Eddie’s suddenly faced with a furious Robin Buckley. He blinks. “Buckley?”

He tries to think back, but he hadn’t sold her anything recently—or ever, for that matter—so he has no idea why she’s here, looking like she’s about to murder him. “You said you’d listen.”

He blinks again. Sits up to face her. “What?”

“Steve. He told you.”

“Steve- Harrington? Oh, come on, Buckley, are you delusional too?”

Blue eyes narrow at him. “You’ve got a little stick-n-poke on your thigh. It’s an upside down star. It’s crappy ‘cause you did it yourself, but that’s why you love it. He already said your favorite song, so I won’t repeat it. You’ve had a frankly ridiculous crush on him practically since the moment you laid eyes on him. You call your guitar your sweetheart because that’s what your mom called you, and she’s the one who taught you to play.” She crosses her arms. “I can keep going.”

“I suppose you’re from the future, then, too?” Her words catch up to him and he suddenly blanches. “I, uh, I’m not sure about your second point.”

She softens some, which is rather unexpected, but he’s grateful. “Oh, Eddie.” She sits on the edge of his bed. “Me too. It’s alright. I’m sorry, I got upset because you ran, after you told Steve you’d listen, and…” she sighs, looking around his room, before standing when she catches sight of the ring on his desk. She picks it up and studies it. “This is practically all we have left,” she says softly, and Eddie feels like throwing up.

“Because I die?”

She looks at him like she’s seeing a ghost. “Yeah.”

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[yournowheregirl]

@eddiemonth day 4: rejection

rating: T | wc: 913 | cw: hurt/comfort, general & UD related anxiety, hoh!Steve, pre-Steddie

Eddie flops down on his bed with a load groan.

He blindly reaches for a pillow and once he’s found one, he uses it to muffle his screams. It barely dampens the sound, but he's home alone anyway. He screams and screams until his throat starts to hurt and the tears he tried so hard to ignore, finally well up in his eyes.

Another rejection.

Another place that didn't want to hire him.

Even with all the strings Hopper and those government guys had pulled to clear his name, Eddie can't escape his brand-new reputation of local satanist and serial killer. There was a press conference and everything, and a personal apology from the police department, but it still wasn't enough to sway the public's opinion of him.

But he has to get a job, like yesterday. They'll run out of that government money sooner or later and he can't expect Wayne to continue cleaning up his mess. Wayne's done enough of that already.

Eddie's tried almost every place in town. His first instinct was the record store and the garage, because that's what where his interests and experience lie. They turned him away as soon as he came in to drop off his resume.

When he told his friends about his job search, Steve immediately offered to put a good word in for him at Family Video. Robin would ask their parents if they knew about any job openings and Nancy would do the same, though she'd avoid Eddie's name while talking to her father. Gareth, Jeff and Frank suggested he'd ask for a job at The Hideout, while Jonathan and Argyle suggested the local pizza place, because of course they would.

None of those jobs ever got back to him.

Today was one of his last resorts. The diner on the other side of town had an opening for a dishwasher. Not exactly the kind of job Eddie wanted, but it meant keeping a low profile and it would pay the bills. He'd take the job in a heartbeat, but the restaurant manager took one good look at him and sent him away before she even took one good look at his resume.

"We don't hire murderers." She'd sneered.

Any other day, Eddie would've maybe stand up for himself, made a whole scene, maybe even called the cops to prove his innocence yet again. But he was so burnt out from rejection after rejection, that he just shrugged, got into his van and drove all the way back home.

Even though the screaming helped a little, Eddie can still feel his mind buzzing, thoughts of anxiety swirling around and threatening to swallow him whole if he doesn't do something quick. He rolls off the bed, put whatever tape he can get his hands on into his boombox and turns up the volume to the loudest setting.

Other people might listen to soothing music to calm down, but Eddie needs the loudest, most aggressive music to drown out the thoughts in his head. The thoughts of never getting a job and leaving it up to Wayne to pick up the pieces, driving him to work harder and longer, until his brittle body can't take it anymore. Thoughts of losing their home again, being forced to call Rick again

It's all his fault. Everything is his fault.

Tears slowly roll down his cheeks as the music continues playing, so loud that he doesn't hear Wayne coming home. So loud that he doesn't hear Wayne picking up the phone to call someone. So loud that he doesn't hear the knock on his bedroom door twenty minutes later.

It's not until his bedroom goes completely quiet that Eddie finally notices he's not alone. For a second he thinks it's Wayne, but when he hears a muffled "oh thank God" from the other side of the trailer, he realizes that it must be someone else.

"Y'know, if you were so jealous of my new accessories, you could've just said so. No reason to shatter your eardrums like this." Steve says with a teasing grin. The sunlight reflects on the hearing aids he'd gotten a few months ago and of course, he pulls it off like he's a goddamn Calvin Klein model.

"Sorry."

Eddie's voice is small, barely recognizable to his own ears and Steve immediately picks up on it. His teasing smile fades away as he walks over to the bed and sit down next to Eddie. He shuffles around a bit to find a comfortable seat against the headboard and pats his lap.

Completely drained from his terrible day, Eddie doesn't even try to fight it and cuddles up next to Steve. He rests his head in Steve's lap and lets out a sigh of relief when Steve's hands find their way to his scalp.

"What's going on?" Steve asks softly.

"Another fucking job didn't want me." Eddie mutters against the fabric of his polo.

Steve hums in acknowledgement. "I'm sorry. You wanna talk about it or do you want some quiet time?"

"Quiet, please."

"Alright."

See, with Steve around, Eddie doesn't need the music to drown out his bad thoughts. They float away on their own as soon as Steve cuddles with him and starts massaging his scalp. Or, on other occasions, they float away when Steve distracts him by talking about Robin's hopeless love life.

Steve being there for him just helps, in general.

Eddie doesn't wanna look into that realization too much.

[stevieschrodinger]

Steve eats, but only because Robin puts food in front of him. Only because she reminds him it's for the pup.

Like he needs reminding. Steve often rests his hand protectively over his rounded tummy. It's reflexive, to protect the only part of Eddie he has left. He feels like he hasn't slept in months, even though he knows he sleeps often, in broken bits and pieces.

He hasn't spoken for a long time, he knows that. Everyone watches him, and everyone used to tell him the same thing, 'they're just dreams Steve, Eddie is gone.'

Steve knows though, they aren't dreams. Eddie is alive, and he's trapped in the Upside Down because Steve didn't try hard enough, didn't push hard enough, didn't say the right things to get the others to believe him.

It upset Dustin the most at first, but Dustin has also been the most adamant because he saw Eddie die, can't even entertain the idea that Eddie might still be alive, because that means he left Eddie behind. That's a lot of guilt to ask a kid to carry.

Steve knows they're talking about him again, like them whispering in the kitchen makes it any better. Steve's starving himself. Steve isn't sleeping. Steve isn't showering. Steve's mate sick even if Eddie never mated him. It's the pup. It's the trauma. It's the nightmares.

They aren't nightmares though, not when Eddie holds him close, laid on a grassy meadow under a sunny blue sky.

El is here, kneeling in front of Steve, 'do you really think Eddie is alive?'

Steve clears his throats, feels full of cobwebs and sand, 'I know he is.'

Steve's said it a thousand different ways. A million. He's cried it and screamed it and shouted it and whispered it and said it as normal and level headed as he could make it sound, 'I am absolutely certain that Eddie is alive,' no one ever believes him.

She nods, 'we will check-'

'El.' It's Hopper, in the doorway, he said 'El' the same way he would say 'No'. 'We talked about this-'

'No, you talked about this. I am tired of this, for Steve, I will check. We will check, just this once.'

And Steve feels too broken to let himself hope, but he heaves himself up off the couch anyway.

El opened a gate in the pool. There's not been water in the pool for quite some time now, and it just seemed apt. A place where there is already a weakness in the world. Perfect for El.

In the end, just to stop the fighting, everyone has gone back to the Upside Down.

Steve squints at the sunny blue sky, not at all surprised to see it. Everyone else is making suitably shocked noises. The grass is green, the trees lush. From the trees, a demodog watches them. It looks different, like it fits here, healthy and well fed now, it shakes and stretches and then lopes off further into the woods.

Everything is overgrown, like the Upside Down is reclaiming everything that One created here.

Nearby, laundry flaps on a washing line, metal band shirts and torn jeans, 'Eddie,' Steve breathes for the first time in over six months, and heads into the house.

There's a bowl of odd looking fruit on the kitchen counter. In the lounge, books. So many books, all stacked and arranged into strange little towers like they are giants in a city, and the books are skyscrapers.

Upstairs, Eddie has clearly nested in Steve's room; there are guitar bits and tools on the desk, two guitars in parts.

The bed is mounded with soft things, Steve scents a pillow, it smells like Eddie...and not.

'Where the fuck is he,' Hopper grumbles.

Steve wants to snap. Wants to scream at them all. They fucking believe him now don't they? They could have had Eddie home months ago if-

Dustin has books from the living room, in the front of each is stamped 'Hawkins Public Library'. So that's where they go.

Steve doesn't know what to do when he spots Eddie. He's crouched on a table, bare toes gripping the edge. He's pale, even more so than before, skin a pale enough alabaster that Steve can see the shadow of blue veins underneath. He's flipping through a book, back and forth, back and forth, before finally stopping and hopping down from the table, 'Eddie?'

Eddie doesn't answer, eyes trained on Steve. His hair has grown, even longer, thick dark curls that Steve wants to bury his hands in.

There's a ticking noise, a low, growling rumble as Eddie stalks closer. Things happen very very quickly, Hopper raises his shotgun, El screams 'no,' Eddie's face peels apart like the petals of a flower filled with teeth as he roars and charges at them.

Hoppers gun is jerked up by an unseen hand, his shot causing plaster to rain down from the ceiling, and then Eddie is floating in the air, roaring as his face blends back to normal and then peels apart again, furious.

El's nose is bleeding, she wipes it away.

Steve moves closer. Eddie looks strange; taller. Leaner. Just, more, somehow.

Steve reaches for him, and Eddie desperately tries to get to him in return, clawing at the air, 'put him down, El.'

'Do not do that-' Hopper starts, but doesn't finish, because Eddie lands neatly on his feet, catlike in his grace, where El drops him.

He lunges for Steve, and Steve let's himself be pulled close and gathered up, Eddie clicking and chittering quietly in Steve's ear, scenting his neck, a strange sucking sensation on his skin as Eddie's face peels apart into one big mouth.

Steve relaxes. He has Eddie back.

[queenimmadolla]

eddie, "angel", and fluff

𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩

  Eddie takes an aggressively long pull of the joint clasped between his fingers, dark brown eyes focused on where you occupy the other half of the couch. Your arms are folded over the arm, head using them as a makeshift pillow for the weed induced nap that came over you.

  It’s dusk, the trailer park bathed in the warm copper glow of the sun’s last few minutes. The streetlights are due to come on when it disappears. Until then, the park kids run rampant, eager to play before the dark sends them home.

  Crickets are already chirping, Cicadas and their annoying screams are reverberating from various parts of the park, all the sounds of an approaching summer night.

  The heat had been bearable today, a nice breeze sweeping through Hawkins and encouraging most of the Forest Hills residents to keep their doors and windows open so their homes could air out. 

  You’d slept over the night before, and with some languid kisses, Eddie had easily persuaded you to stay. You practically lived with him already, anyways. Had your products mingled with his on his dresser, your clothes in his closet and drawers and his pillows smelling of your shampoo and perfume. It felt wonderfully domestic and Eddie was hooked on the sensation. Loved having your presence all around him.

  With a summer day as nice as today, the two of you decided to wind down with some light reading and sharing a joint, some grapes, along with some water out on the porch couch. 

  Eddie was sitting on one end of the couch, while you were splayed out on the rest of it, bare feet resting on his lap. The two of you read your separate choices, enthralled in the last voyage of the dawn treader and a corpse, made from various beings, brought to life. 

  The soothing stroke of Eddie’s hands over the skin of your leg, coupled with the heat, breeze and weed had eventually lulled you into a slumber, with Eddie noticing only after he’d finished the chapter he was on. He entertained the idea of reading further, you just proved to be far more alluring than any structure of the English language. 

  Your face is a little shiny, obviously due to the weather, but it only makes you glow and your lips are pouty as a result of half your face being squished against your arm. You look so peaceful, so beautiful. His angel. 

  Eddie exhales the smoke he was holding in, head feeling even fuzzier than before. It’s nice.

  Despite popular belief, Eddie doesn’t get high often. Nothing against smoking, he’d just already gone through the phase of constantly being high and it lost its novelty. Been there, done that. 

  Now, he only really smokes with you, more so to relax and enjoy rather than to get high out of his fucking mind and unlock an ability to understand animals or some shit. No, Eddie just likes to use it as another way to bond with you.

  Eddie’s an affectionate person, he’s aware. He’d been starved for affection as a child after his mom died and his dad could barely clap him on the shoulder, he was doomed to crave it in his relationships. Always the Romantic in them, even if it left him the fool in the end.

  Despite many ends, he never stopped. Maybe he held back a little, but never fully stopped. Always wanting to tuck someone into his side, moon over them, map his kisses out over sweet smelling skin, and even sweeter tasting lips that would later scorn him with hurtful words when he inevitably proved to be too much or too little.

  Then you’d come into his life. You’d been present for a lot of it, a background character if you will. Sometimes sharing the same friends, sometimes exchanging pleasant greetings and maybe a short interaction. 

  Eddie thinks about one, in particular. He thinks about it a lot. 

  It had taken place at a nice little kickback with Harrington and co. Just a tight knit group of friends, some closer than others. Eddie had his then-girlfriend at his side, an arm slung over her shoulder as he conversed with your then-boyfriend, who you’d attended the event with. The conversation had been pleasant but lacking any genuine common interests or passion, until you spoke up, from your place in his arms, in defense of Michael Jackson’s discography.

  Eddie enjoyed all kinds of music, dabbled in it, and while he didn't despise Top 40 music, it did become repetitive so he didn’t listen to it often himself. 

  After that night, and a heated debate on whether or not songs being overplayed meant it took away from the brilliance of them—Eddie found himself ducking into the local music store to pick up a tape of Dangerous.

  That had been the first night he used weed for the sole purpose of enhancing an experience. It had also been the night he’d acknowledged his current relationship would not be ending with wedding bells, which granted he’d already known prior, but since it was you plaguing his mind that night (and every night after) and not her, he knew it’d have to end sooner rather than later—lest he wish to be the douche that longs for another instead of his girlfriend.

  Eddie’s hands trail along your skin, a little prickly from re-growing hair but that kind of turns him on. It’s definitely the weed hyping up his senses, your skin is so fucking soft and pliable. You’re always so delicious, he just wants to bite you.

  So, he does.

  You jolt awake with an Ow! and a laugh once you’d realize what had disturbed you from your nap. Eddie grins, barking out a laugh as you sit up and swat his arm. You don’t have to rub over the bite mark on your leg, Eddie’s already doing that for you before he yanks you by it even closer, until he’s pulling you onto his lap, lips searing against yours. He never has to hold back with you.

  You hum against his mouth, a hand moving to tangle in the curls at the nape of his neck and he sighs as he melts.

  Amongst the crickets and the cicadas, Eddie swears he can also hear wedding bells.

[sweetyyhippyy]

Through the Radio. Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader. *ANGST*

Summary: Eddie's girlfriend is still grieving the loss of him after almost a whole year. Little does she know, he's still alive.

Word Count: 2k

TW: Death. Grieving. Mentions of sex (no details).

Note: I know that talking through the radio isn't how it worked on the show, but this is my story and I wanted it to work this way 🤣🤣

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This would have been the first time she had went to Lover‘s Lake without Eddie in tow.

She parked her car, far away from everyone else that was there. She sat in the driver side with the car idled while a mixed tape that Eddie had made for her months before his death playing softly in the back, staring at the full moon that was right in front of her window.

Some days were better than others for her grief. Only crying 3 times on a good day before noon, rather than her usual 5 or 6 by then. Today was an even worse day.

She decided with the rough day that she had; to go to the lake, somewhere that her and Eddie would frequent to just get away from the noise of their homes. It was the one place that she felt like she was still connected to him.

For the first night in almost a week, the skies were clear from the nighttime storms that were happening. All you could see was the twinkling stars in the sky and the moon lighting up the sky.

Going out to the lake on nights similar to this was their favorite type of date. Where all you could hear were the crickets chirping in the distance, and the calming sounds of the lake.

They both loved laying in the back of Eddie’s van with the back doors opened, laying on the makeshift bed that Eddie had set up with a collection of warm blankets and a ton of pillows for them. Music would be playing softly in the back, that way they could both still hear each other talking when they didn’t have their lips pressed against each other’s.

She couldn’t help but replay the night she lost Eddie in her mind over and over again on her bad days. She couldn’t help but think about everything she could have done differently, the biggest thing: not going with Steve, Robin, and Nancy to the Creel house to take down Vecna. In her mind, she had convinced herself that if she was with Eddie and Dustin instead, that Eddie would still be alive.

Of course everyone said that there was nothing she could have done to help save Eddie, but they had to say that to keep her from completely losing her mind.

For almost a whole month after the night in the upside down, she didn’t speak to Steve, still hurt that he was the one that dragged her away from Eddie’s lifeless body, not budging while she tried to wiggle out of his arms and run back to him.

She begged Steve to at least take him back with the group, but nobody was strong enough to lift him up through the gate, especially with Dustin being injured. Steve had to snap at her, telling her that it wasn’t going to happen.

He took it while she screamed, cursed, and hit him. Steve knew that at some point she would get over it, and that she was doing it because she was sad and angry, he never took her words to heart.

She felt such guilt leaving him there, especially when she had to tell Eddie’s uncle that he was gone, and that he couldn’t even tell his nephew goodbye properly because “they couldn’t find his body” after the earthquake.

The beginning of the song “The Ocean” by Led Zeppelin snapped her out of her thoughts, making her aware of her thoughts, and just how loud they were. Her already sore eyes were filled with tears, all of them rolling down her cheeks as she finally blinked.

“Shit, Eddie… It’s real bad today. Everything I see reminds me of you. And it hurts worse to be constantly reminded that you’re really gone than it was to lose you to begin with.” She says to nobody, just venting her feelings out into space.

“You would be so mad at me, but I can’t help but wish that it was me instead.” Her whole body shook as she sobbed, covering her face with her hands. “I just wish you were here. I can’t do this anymore.”

Eddie could hear her clear as day from the other side, his own heart aching at the hurt in her voice while she called out for him. He knew it wasn’t a good idea to lie to her and pretend to be dead, but it was what was best for himself, just until his name could be cleared for Chrissy’s murder, Dustin said that he would make sure it happened.

Almost a whole year had passed, and he was still stuck in the darkness that was the upside down, still healing from almost being ripped to shreds by the demonic bats that inhabited the other world.

Dustin found a way to come visit Eddie so he wasn’t completely alone all the time, keeping him up to date on music and whatever else that he was missing in the real world. Every single time, Eddie would ask how his girl was doing, even though he already knew how she was doing.

“I just need to find a way for her to know I’m still here. You know how many times she’s changed the lightbulbs around her place because she thinks they’re going out? It’s not doing anything, man.” Eddie explained to Dustin on one of the nights he came to visit, bringing him some food, and some more clothes.

“She can’t know too much. You were the one that wanted it to be this way.”

“Yeah, I wanted it to be this way, but only because you said you could get my name cleared, Henderson. I wasn’t planning on staying in this hell hole my whole life! I need to let her know. I can’t take hearing her in pain anymore.”

Dustin sighs, thinking of a way he can still give Eddie both of the things he wants. “You’re going to have to play ghost.”

“What? I’m not actually dead, Henderson. What do you mean, play ghost?”

“It’s like when we talked to each other through the lite brite when all of you went through water gate. But instead of the light, you communicate with her through her radio at home. You have to go to her house here, and then talk to her through the stations.”

As much as he wanted to be with her through her tough thoughts, he needed to trek his way through the upside down to her house in order to “talk” to her tonight.

Even with the darkness and all the vines that were covering the “upside down” version of her room, Eddie still felt happy just standing somewhere he hadn’t been in a while. He missed the baby pink walls, the cute little stuffed animal corner she had, and that he added to when they were together, and the posters of Eddie Van Halen and Rob Lowe that were taped to her wall.

Eddie found the radio that sat on the nightstand next to her bed, brushing off the weird dust particles that covered it. He knew that as soon as she got home, she would turn it on, giving him the power to “talk” to her from where he was.

She flicks the light on to her room, tossing her jacket on her desk, taking a deep sigh as she stares at her empty bed. Sleeping alone was yet just another thing that she hated doing now, no fighting with Eddie over the blankets, pushing his face the opposite way because of his incessant snoring, or his warm cuddles in the middle of the night.

With another sigh, she turns the lights off, shedding out of her clothes, leaving them in a pile on the floor while she grabs a shirt from her closet and slipping it on, climbing into her bed.

As soon as her bare legs touch the cool sheets, she feels the tears come back.

“Fuck, stop it.” She whispers to herself. She sniffles as she reaches over, turning her radio on to listen to some music to help her go to sleep.

Of course all that was playing on her favorite station were commercials, but she just drowned them out while she hugged the pillow that was pressed against her torso, tight. She stared into the darkness of her room, only a little bit of moonlight coming in from the window across from her bed illuminated her room enough for her to makeout shadows of things.

Out of nowhere, the radio goes to static, making her jump slightly.

“Ugh, piece of shit.” She curses under her breath, sitting up to reach for the radio to turn it off.

Before she has the chance, the radio jumps into a song, one that had emotional ties to her and Eddie of course.

As cheesy as it was, her first time with Eddie was to “Home Sweet Home” by Motley Crue. It was truly one of those heat of the moment type moments for them, neither of them planning on anything happening when the night first started.

She couldn’t help but smile listening to the song, all of the memories of that night flooding back to her, and all of the nights afterward that they heard that song come on. One of them catching the other looking at the other with that hunger in their eyes before practically pouncing on the other.

Before the guitar solo, the static happens again, another song filling the room once the static stops.

She furrows her brows slightly, getting up from her bed to go turn her light on to see what was messing with her radio. As she gets up the sound happens again before settling on another station.

“What the fuck?” She gasps, turning the light on quickly.

Of course her first thought was a ghost, she had seen Poltergeist, she didn’t sleep for almost a week, but she had seen it.

“Unchained Melody” was playing in her room now, yet another song that had special meaning to her and Eddie.

Even though the song was old, it was one of her favorites, growing up listening to the song because of her parents.

It became another favorite of hers after Eddie, a little too high that night, grabbed her one night and slowed danced with her in the middle of her bedroom. It was a memory that would be engraved in her mind for the rest of her life.

Sure it was cheesy, but under his “tough metal head” persona he was a giant cheeseball.

The fucking universe had to be laughing at her playing this type of joke on her.

She walks up to the radio and goes to unplug it, but yet again, the channel changes. This time, the static doesn’t let up but a very faint voice echoes through her room.

Her body is frozen in her chair as she stares at her radio with fear in her eyes.

Even seeing all of the horror that was in the upside down wasn’t nearly as scary as what was happening in her bedroom.

“Can you hear me?” The voice calls out clearly. “Please tell me this worked.”

“What’s going on?” She mouths quietly.

“Sweetheart, please listen to me. I know this is crazy. Shit, please tell me you can hear me.”

There was no way that the voice she was hearing was Eddie’s. He was gone, she saw his lifeless body laying there as Steve dragged her away from him begging and screaming for him.

She was dreaming.

“Please say something, baby. Let me know you can hear me, please. Please.” The desperation in his voice was clear.

“Eddie?” She whispers softly at the radio, waiting for a response back as her eyes fill with tears. “Are you really there?” Her voice cracks.

“Holy shit, you can hear me. This worked!” He laughs from the other side of the speaker. “It’s me, baby.”

She sobs into her hands hearing his laugh, her heart beating out of her chest. “How? How are you talking to me? Where are you? You died, I-I-I saw you?”

“I have a lot of explaining to do and I know you’re going to be upset with me. Just please don’t turn the radio off, okay? Promise me?”

“I promise. Tell me everything, Eddie please.”

[radioactiveparker]

The Breakfast Club - Eddie Munson X F!Cheerleader!Reader

Part Five - Don't You Forget About Me

Chapter Summary - Secrets are told and feelings are finally shared, but will they change things for better or for worse? (A retelling of The Breakfast Club, written and directed by John Hughes.)

Chapter Warnings - Characters are all 18+ / Strong Language / Mentions of Abuse/ Abusive Relationship / Dysfunctional Families / References to Religious Beliefs / Sexual References / Stereotyping / Angst / Drug References / Use of Y/N

Word Count - 7.3k

A/N - There is a ridiculous amount of dialogue in this one so I apologise in advance if that isn't your thing xxx

(Series Masterlist) (Masterlist)

(Part One) (Part Two) (Part Three) (Part Four) (Part Five)

~~~~~

Saturday.

October 25th, 1986.

Hawkins High Library.

3:15pm

~~~~~

"How am I supposed to answer?"

"The idea is to search your mind for your limit, like... would you drive to school naked?"

You all sat in a loose circle back at the comfy chairs. Eddie had finally calmed down from his little self-pitied tantrum and finally decided that he would put his feelings on hold for now. Well, as best as he could. He could scream into his pillow all he wanted when he got back home. Although, that didn't stop any of his nervous jitters from making his heart pound when he so much as took a glance at you. He couldn't decided what was worse, sitting directly in front of you where he could constantly feel your gaze on him, or sitting beside you where he could accidently brush against you, and you could feel the beat of his heart thumping through his veins at every touch. He opted to sit opposite you.

"Would I have to get out of the car?" Steve asked, all serious like he was actually going to go to the school on Monday naked.

"Duh." Robin rolled her eyes.

"Winter or spring?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Nah, would you?"

"Me? No, I take the bus."

"I'd do just about anything for a million dollars, are you kidding!" Eddie gasped, like going to school naked was something he would do for free. "Have explosive diarrhoea for a month, chop off my pinkie finger - I'm sure I'll figure a way to still play guitar - sleep with an octogenarian..."

Steve would rather Eddie had kept his creative thoughts to himself. He winced in disgust at Eddie's artistic suggestions. "You keep talking like that, and you'll get sent to the nut house." 

He crossed his stretched-out legs in front of him and rested his hands behind his head as if he was on a sun lounger. His voice was airy like a daydream. "That'll be a nice change; cosy jackets, getting waited on by hot nurses. Sounds like paradise to me."

"You know, they'll probably shave your head too." You pointed.

That shut him up.

If only for a minute.

He smirked, propped himself back up, and leaned in towards you. His eyes magnetised to yours. Before when he looked at you his eyes were round and Bambi-like, dreamy even, but he is stare was strong and his eyes had a slight squint as if he was challenging you. "What would you do then, sweetheart?"

"I could go to school naked for a million bucks." You chimed, disguising your sudden urge to shrink away from him when all of the attention was on you.

You were almost always the centre of attention at school. You were the cheerleading Captain, after all. But that didn't mean that you liked it. It was easier somehow when it was everybody else, people you didn't know or care much about; their opinions didn't matter to you. But with this group of people, who you had shared a unique experience with, something changed in all of you. Whether you liked it or not, you all had some strange connection, and you were closer somehow. In just under eight hours, you had felt closer to these people than over two years of knowing your "real" friends.

"Isn't that like against religion?"

"What? No, only if it's sexual."

"So, are you a virgin?" Eddie's eyes lit up, eager for some juicy gossip. Or juicy ammunition to undoubtedly use against you at some point, you couldn't decide which one.

"Didn't we already cover this?"

"I don't know, sweetheart, I can't seem to recall you giving me an answer."

You scoffed, feeling yourself heat up with embarrassment and annoyance at how Eddie's behaviour towards you had suddenly changed. "I'm not going to discuss my private life with strangers."

"It's kind of a double-edged sword, isn't it?" Robin said almost sympathetically.

"A what?"

"If you say you haven't, you're a prude. If you say you have, you're a slut. It's a trap. You want to, but you can't. But then when you do you wish you didn't. Right?"

"Or are you a tease?" Steve interrupted with a smirk.

You frowned. "I'm not a tease."

"She's only a tease if what she does gets guys hot." Eddie nudged Steve with a grin.

"I don't do anything."  You defended.

"That's why you're a tease." 

He took himself back to earlier on when you were dancing, how enticing your moves were, the way would would unknowingly flash him with every quick spin, the perspiration gleaming off of you. He wondered if he could get you all hot and sweaty like that. He had imagined that you would let him, especially when you had barely resisted yourself against him when his head was between your legs. Now, he was just adding fuel to whatever burning desire he had for you. You were just so fucking hot, and you had no idea. You had no idea just what you did to him. 

And for that, he hated you. Even more so that you had confided to Nancy that you liked someone else. But he hated himself more for allowing himself to feel that way in the first place.

"I'm not having this conversation anymore." You scoffed. "You're bizarre."

"I mean, we're all pretty bizarre." Steve shrugged. "Some are just better at hiding it than others."

"How are you bizarre?"

"I can't think for myself. I just do what other people to tell me to do." He had been doing it all day, whether he knew it or not; he had played along when Eddie took the screw out of the door, he let you take the record from the teachers lounge, heck, he even convinced himself to get high just because you had told him to 'loosen up'.  "You know what I did to get in here?"

"You flew a practice." You recalled your conversation from earlier that day.

He shook his head, avoiding everyone's eyes as he frowned. His bottom lip quivered with guilt. "I just said that. I lied. It's so fucked-up, I had to lie."

"Did you lie about your coach and your father?"

"No, that's true." Steve's eyes looked wet. He took a breath like what he was about to say would change his life forever. "What I did was I taped Larry Lester's buns together. You know him?"

Eddie perked up. "I know Larry, he was in Hellfire for a little while."

"Then you know how hairy he is -- when they pulled the tape off, all his hair came with it -- and some skin, too."

"Oh shit."

"The bizarre thing is, that I did it for my old man. I tortured this poor kid because I wanted my dad to think I was cool. He's always going off about when he was young. And I got the impression that he was disappointed that I never cut loose on anybody, right? So, I was sitting in the locker room taping up my knee and Larry was undressing a few lockers down from me, and suddenly the next thing I knew I grabbed him and threw him down and I just started wailing on him. And he screamed and kicked while my buddies laughed and cheered me on. Afterwards, when I was sitting in Vernon's office, all I could think about was Lester's father and Lester having to go home and explain what happened to him. The humiliation, the fucking humiliation... must have been unreal. How the hell do you apologize for something like that? There's no way."

The others just stared in shock at his admission.

Steve's voice deepened, imitating his father. "'Steve, you've got to be number one! I won't tolerate any losers in this family. Win! Win! Win!' He's like this mindless machine who I just can't relate to anymore. God, I fucking hate the way he is. Sometimes when I'm in the court I just wish my knee would give. If I couldn't play again, he'd probably forget all about me, and then I could get on with my life."

Your voice strained around the lump in your throat. "Why do you do everything he says?"

"I don't know. I've been told what to do for so long that I don't know how to say no."

"What did you guys do to get in here?" Nancy asked.

"You first." Eddie challenged.

"I got caught skipping class, trying to investigate Hawkins lab."

"Why were you trying to investigate Hawkins lab?"

"I think they had something to do with Barb's death."

You wondered who this 'Barb' was, then you remembered Barbra Holland who had mysteriously disappeared, presumed dead, almost exactly one year ago. Robin's head hung low at the name. When Barb began first grade, she became best friends with Robin, but when the girls began sixth grade, Barbara had met Nancy and eventually drifted apart from Robin. It wasn't Robin's fault that they had drifted apart, but she couldn't help but feel as though she could have done more to save their friendship. Perhaps if she had, she wouldn't have gone missing. 

You had seen Barbara Holland walking around the school with Nancy. You thought the pair was a strange duo, especially when Nancy started becoming more and more popular. That being said, however, she always seemed nice. Volunteering for different school committees, helping other students study in the library, even helping to set up for basketball games. If she was still alive, you supposed you could have tried to be friends with her after today. 

"What did you do, Rob?"

"Oh, I-I can't say." Her face flushed.

"C'mon, why not? We said ours."

Her heart was racing and pressure was weighing down on her chest. She looked to Steve. His eyes were filled with concern. Those big brown puppy dog eyes that made her feel bad for keeping anything from him.

"I-I got... caught... with someone."

"Caught doing what?"

She took a sharp breath. Nancy's question hadn't done anything to release the weight trying pulling her heart into her stomach. "Something... in the janitors closet."

Eddie laughed. "Buckley, you dirty little rascal. Who was it?"

"I can't say." She shied.

"Oh, c'mon."

"Tell us, Rob."

"C'mon, tell us who it was."

A chorus of 'tell us' chants bashed around in her skull. The weight was getting heavier and heavier until the band snapped.

"Vickie!"

The band had released her heart and sling-shot it up into her throat. She could hardly swallow as tears sprung in her eyes.

"Vickie. Vickie from band, Vickie?"

"Yes!" And although the band had snapped, the weight had gone. Her secret had been fermenting and sizzling inside her, bottled up and expanding until the lid popped and it finally spilled and overflowed. 

"But, Vickie's a girl."

"Oh, Robin." You gasped at the realisation, rubbing her arm to console her. 

"Holy shit."

Her voice trembled. "I get if you guys don't want to be near me anymore--"

"No, Rob. Why wouldn't we want to be near you?" Steve questioned, almost offended that Robin would thing he would stoop that low. 

"I'm a freak."

"Hey, look who you're talking to." Eddie's voice was soft, yet playful. "Nobody's more of a freak than me."

Everybody laughed, you included, although you felt kind of bad. You were all as much of a freak as each other, you had learned today. It was good that Eddie could laugh about it, but he shouldn't have to in the first place. 

You had hoped that the subject would change there, but the dreaded question was pointed at you. "So why are you here, Sweetheart?"

You cleared your throat. "I told my parents that I had cheer practice cause they'd flip if they found out I got a detention."

"Right, that's not exactly what I meant. What did you do to get in here?"

You sighed. Robin and Steve had been brave enough to share their story. You thought it only fair to tell yours, despite your reluctance.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"I told my boyfriend that I had detention so I didn't have to see him."

"Wow, I didn't know Billy Hargrove was that bad in the sack." Eddie chuckled.

"No, it's not that. We haven't even..."

"Oh, so you are a virgin!"

"Do you believe in all of that no sex before marriage bullshit?" Steve asked, intrigued.

"So what if I do?" You snapped.

You didn't, but you were offended for your mother's sake. Not that you knew why you were, almost like she had drilled it into your head, or branded it onto your brain with a hot iron where it would scar forever.

But scars can fade.

"Nah, she doesn't. She wants to, but she doesn't." Eddie folded his arms as if to say "watch me rip this girl to shreds". "I can see it in those sweet little eyes of yours. You're just daddy's little girl and mommy's little princess - a kiss ass. Sucking up to your parents' beliefs just to get what you want"

"I do not."

He rolled his eyes, firmly standing by his statement. Nothing would persuade him to think otherwise. "Whatever you say, sweetheart. But you and I both know that I don't need no damn preacher to make you mine."

"Ugh, you're impossible."

Nancy eagerly changed the subject. "So why didn't you want to see your boyfriend?"

Your demeanour instantly shifted. Your glaring eyes turned wide with fear at the mention of Billy. You immediately pulled at your sleeve to hide the bruises on your wrist. The once angry beat of your heart thumped cowardly along the vein in your neck, as if threatening to escape in a scream. "He -umm- he has a bit of a temper. Lately, I feel like nothing I do is good enough for him, and he tends to... lash out."

Eddie rolled his eyes at you. You were as close to perfect as someone could get in his eyes. How could your life not be perfect too? "Nah, I don't buy it. Look at you, all that skin showing, and there's not a scratch on you."

You anger returned in a crash, tsunami waves flooding into your eyes and a whirlpool swirling in your gut. How dare he question you. Eddie hadn't even plucked up the courage to share a single thing about himself, and yet here he was, judging you for being brave enough to. 

"Fuck you!"

In a blaze of fury, you stormed off with stomping feet and secluded yourself in the listening room. Slamming the door behind you, you slumped yourself on the floor against the rack of records. You attempted to control your breathing, but your anger reduced you to nothing but a mess of tears, and you began sobbing uncontrollably into your own arms.

The others stared at Eddie with a mix of shock and disgust. Eddie was used to that kind of reaction. But why did he hate how it felt? He looked into himself as the others had and found that he was just as disgusted with himself. The guilt that coiled around his stomach almost made his throw up. He swallowed it down and avoided the others' gaze as he stood and made his way to you, despite the others telling him to leave you alone.

His heart lurched when he heard you choke out a sob from behind the door. He clenched his fist, angry at himself, but knocked gently on the door.

"Leave me alone." You tried to say angrily, but it sounded so heartbroken that it had no bite to it.

Eddie ignored your request and bravely opened the door. You didn't need to look up to know who it was who sat beside you. The lingering smell of weed, smoke and cheep cologne told you it was Eddie. You didn't make any effort to move, not wanting Eddie to see how his words had effected you.

After a few beats of silence, Eddie finally spoke. "I'm sorry."

"Whatever." You sniffed, keeping your head hidden in your arms.

"No really. I am."

The honesty in his voice made you pause. You stopped your tears with a final sniff and raised your head to look at him. The look on his face when he saw you was if he was going to cry himself. At first you thought how dare he cry after how he made you feel but you could see the regret seething in his chocolatey irises. 

"I am so sorry Y/N. I didn't mean any of it. I was just... just..."

"Just what?"

"Angry, I guess."

"At me?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "No, well kinda. Not angry at you, angry because of you..."

"What do you mean?"

You questions were bashing around his skull. He raked his hands over his face. He was frustrated at himself for not being able to give you the answer you wanted to hear, and not being valiant enough to express his feeling to you. Instead, he did the cowardly thing and changed the subject.

"Can I ask you something?"

You nodded, although you were disappointed that he didn't give you an explanation. But you understood that sometimes feelings can be hard to communicate. You knew that Eddie wasn't one to share his feelings and you doubted that he ever would. Not to you anyway.

"Why don't you leave him?"

It was a question you asked yourself all the time. You knew exactly why, you just didn't have the courage to end it. It was easier to ask yourself the question. To you it was some sort of first step to leaving Billy. But that's all it was, a step. One step forward and three steps back. You would tell yourself to leave him, then he would look at you with a storm reeling in his eyes and you would back down. Too chicken shit to stand up for yourself, in fear of what he could do to you.

You took a shaky breath, tears threatening to spill again. "Because I'm scared to. What if all of this time he's been holding back, and leaving him just pisses him off to the max. He'd kill me. I've seen the look in his eyes. I bet if I pushed him hard enough he'd do it."

Eddie's heart was in his throat. He knew that feeling all too well. "Shit, Y/n. I'm sorry you have to go through that."

"I guess it's my own fault." You sniffed. "I dated him thinking it would get back at my parents, but they love him. He's like a completely different person around them, it's so frustrating. He could do no wrong in their eyes. I bet if I told them what he'd been doing they'd take his word over mine."

You paused for a brief moment. Sharing your thoughts with Eddie had forged some clarity and you wondered why you were pouring your heart out to the person who had just hurt your feelings. He had apologised, but could you forgive him? He frustrated you to no end, so why did you have such a soft spot for him?

"I don't get you Eddie."

"What do you mean?" He sat himself straight at your sudden change in demeanour.

"I just don't know how to take you."

"I can think of some ways for you to take me." He smirked sending you a wink.

Any other time, you would have blushed, but he only proved your point.

"See, this is what I'm talking about. One minute we're at each others throats, the next you're acting like your my friend and then you're flirting with me. I just don't know what I'm meant to do."

He turned to you and took your hands in his. "Look I'm sorry. It's just that I...."

"You...?"

I like you and I'm a jealous asshole because you like someone else. He couldn't tell you that, of course. He removed himself from you and wrapped his arms round his knees, mimicking your position. "Whatever, I'm just sorry, okay?"

"Then why don't I believe you?"

"I'm telling you the truth, I swear."

"Prove it."

"Prove it how?"

You paused. The two of you were cursed. Cursed by those who were meant to protect you, to love you; angels that were monsters in disguise. A curse of bruises and scars and broken bones, forever scared to stand up for yourself, scared to love. You wanted to ask him about it. How did he put up with it? You recalled when Steve said it was a part of Eddie's image. You wanted to know the truth.

"Do your parents really beat you?"

Annoyance flashed across his eyes. The question made his blood boil. "What kind of question is that?"

"Just answer it Eddie. Please" 

"Yes..." He snapped, but you looked at him with those big, watery puppy dog eyes again and he couldn't help but cave. "Well, they did. I don't actually live with them anymore. I live with my uncle. He looks after me."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"It's whatever." His anger had cooled to a simmer, but it still sizzled in his gut. 

"Can I ask you something?" You repeated Eddie's earlier question. "If your home life is a lot better now, why do you act the way you do?"

He sighed. "I guess Harrington was right before. To keep up my image. If I look all mean and scary, people are less likely to pick on me and my friends. They sort of look up to me, so I gotta put on a brave face, you know?"

You nodded, but felt like he was holding back. "Any other reason?"

"I guess... I mean, I've always been a nobody, so I guess doing all this, acting the way I do, makes me feel seen. The only time my parents ever really payed attention to be was when they were beating on me, so... I guess old habits die hard."

You nodded again, letting silence fall between you. You could tell that your questioning had upset Eddie. Irritation was practically steaming off him. Eddie hadn't shared so much of his life with anyone, not even the Hellfire boys. He was torn between feeling relieved to get it off his chest, and being annoyed at himself for opening up to you so easily.

"Good session today, Munson. Same time next week?" You joked, trying to lighten the mood.

You wiped the tear stains from your cheeks and stood up to go and join the others. Although you didn't say anything more to him, Eddie he knew he was forgiven. But somehow, that didn't make him feel much better. You stood in the doorway and turned to see if Eddie was following you. Eddie hadn't moved an inch and stayed looking like he was stuck in his own head

"Eddie, if its any consultation, I'd like to think that I can see you now. The real you."

You left him to join the others. They stared at you like you were a bomb going to burst any second, but you simply brushed them off and sat back in your seat. The silence was awkward until Robin spoke.

"Can I ask a question? What happens on Monday?" She asked but received no answer. "I'm assuming we're friends. Right? We're doing things together, we're talking about our private lives, we've broken the law together. It seems like we can call ourselves friends. I think of you guys as my friends anyway. Am I wrong?"

"No. I don't think you're wrong" Eddie piped up, returning to the circle, sitting opposite you and not daring to look you in the eye.

"So, on Monday. What happens?"

"You mean are we still friends?" Nancy asked. "If we're friends now, that is."

Everyone had an interest in the question but no one wanted to commit to an answer. You all eyed each other, waiting for the other to speak. In your ideal world, you would walk into school on Monday waving to Nancy and Steve, saying hello to Robin as Eddie walked you to Mr. Kaminski's chemistry class without a care in the world. 

But would that really happen? 

No.

Because you did care. You cared about what Carol thought, you cared about what Tommy thought, the cheerleading squad, Billy. God, you'd hate to think what Billy would do if he saw you walking the halls with these people. Not only what he would do to you, but what he would do to them.

"Truth?" You braved an answer, fidgeting with the watch on your wrist. "I don't think so."

Steve scoffed at you in disgust. "That's a real nice attitude."

"Be honest, Steve. On Monday, if Robin come up to you in the hall what would you do? When you're there with all the sports."

Steve looked at Robin, nervously. He was on the spot.

"I know exactly what you'd to. You'd  say 'hi' to her and when she left, you'd cut her up so that your friends wouldn't think you really liked her." You answered for him.

You and Steve were friends with the same types of people. You knew all too well how it would go down because you knew your friends.

"No way." He shook the hesitance from his brain, his face laced with determination as he finally thought for himself. "Not anymore."

Robin looked at Steve sadly. "Anymore?" 

"Truth is," Steve puffed his chest like he was about to perform an important speech, keeping his eyes on Robin. "I've been friends with Robin for a while-"

"Steve, you don't-"

"We work at Scoops Ahoy together in Starcourt. And she is the bestest friend I could ever ask for. I mean, she's just so real. None of this fake shit like Tommy and Carol. And she's always there for me, like always. I don't know what I'd do without you, Rob. I've had enough of being fake. From now on, Rob, it's gonna be you and me. I don't give a shit what anyone else says. And I'm sorry I didn't do this sooner."

"And what if I walked up to you?" Eddie asked you, optimistic after your previous conversation and hopeful that Steve's speech had given you some encouragement to change your mind.

You looked at him sadly. You hated to say it to him, but he was truthful to you earlier, it was only fair you did the same. Your voice fell quiet, a regretful whisper. "What I said before."

He looked at you like you had just stabbed him in the back. Ruefully, you had. "Don't be a bitch." He snapped.

You were taken aback. You knew Eddie was frustrated with you for questioning him before, but you thought he would have gotten over it. At least enough for him to join the circle again. Perhaps not. 

"What, I'm a bitch for telling the truth? I couldn't, not with Billy-"

"No! Because you know how shitty that it is to do to someone. You admit it and you aren't strong enough to tell your friends to fuck off and let you be friends with who you want!"

"And what about you? Why don't you take Steve to one of your heavy metal vomit parties?"

Eddie shot a look at Steve. You've got him.

"Take Nancy out to the parking lot at lunch and get high. Or me for that matter .. What would your friends say if they saw you and me walking down the hall together? They'd laugh their asses off and you'd cut me up. You'd probably say I'm doing it with you so they'd forgive you for being with me? Correct?"

Steve saved Eddie from an answer. "Okay. I assume Robin and I are better people than you guys." He turned to Nancy. "Would you do that?"

"I don't really have any friends anymore." She shied.

"If you did?"

"No, the kind of friends I'd have wouldn't mind."

There was a silence of a storm suddenly quelled. A pause long enough for everyone to calm down. 

Steve's voice was unusually quiet and timid. "Are we gonna be like our parents?" 

"Yes." Robin's answer was blunt.

"Why do you say that?"

"It's unavoidable."

"Not me." Eddie was determined.

"It just happens. When you grow up... your heart dies." 

You all sat, breathing in the heavy silence. It wasn't uncomfortable by any means, but it still felt heavy. The truth had been spilt whether everyone like it or not, but still, everyone had accepted it. They had accepted that things may just go back to the way they were before, but they also accepted that things could also never be exactly the same. It was a strange mixture of hope, solemn and acknowledgment. And for you - fear. You wanted to be friends with these guys. You wanted things to be different on Monday, but thoughts of Billy shrouded your desires. The things he would say or do if he found out what had happened in this room today; the friendships made, the truth told, the kisses shared. You'd rather wallow in your own self pity.

~~~~~

3:50pm

~~~~~

"Are you sure about this?"

"Absolutely, he won't be able to resist you."

Your eyes fluttered to the ceiling as Nancy prodded at your waterline with her black eyeliner pencil. 

Despite your differences earlier, everybody seemed okay with each other now. You'd all had time to cool off and apologise to one another. Unfortunately, you had meant what you'd said earlier, but you were still sorry for it.

You were currently in the seclusion room with Nancy and Robin giving you what they deigned a 'Munson Make-over'. Robin had given you her spare t-shirt from her bag. It was simply black and large enough to stop at the exact point on your thighs where your skirt had been. You hadn't wanted to take it from her, arguing that there may come a time where she'll need it more that you, but she refused, vowing that she 'just might have found something worth staying for'. 

You made a last minute decision to ditch the skirt underneath when the shirt started bunching up weirdly and making you look frumpy. You felt about ten times more exposed somehow, but the girls reassured you that you looked great. Nancy used a small make-up brush to finalise the finishing touches to your eyes, smudging the black in an edgy way that made the colour of your eyes pop. 

This hadn't been your idea, but a combined effort from both Nancy and Robin when she had accidentally blurted out your admission to having a crush on Eddie earlier. For once you finally felt like a teenager. Not having to worry about what people might think, just girls doing make-up and talking about boys like they do in the movies. 

And something stirred in your gut. Perhaps regret, or maybe defiance, but a pull in your chest decided that maybe you would take back what you had said about ignoring them on Monday. After a few swipes of mascara over your lashes, Nancy affirmed that you were done and 'ready to get your man'. Nancy leaned back to admire her handy work. With a big smile, she grabbed a compact mirror out of her bag and turned it to face you. Your eyes widened, stunned and not believing that it was you in the mirror. It was crazy how a bit of make-up could change the way you looked drastically. 

"Is this me?" You laughed in astonishment.

"It's you."

Your surprise quickly turned to insecurity. Never in your life had you worn make-up like this and you were starting to second guess whether or not you could pull it off. 

"But what if he laughs at me?"

Robin rolled her eyes. "He won't laugh, you look great. C'mon."

They urged you out of the door after assuring you that Principal Higgins was no where to be seen, and you made your way to the broom closet Eddie had told you he had been locked in. 

Eddie had managed (with the help of Steve) to clamber back up the hole in the ceiling that he had made. He was currently sitting on an upside down bucket, fiddling with his coat and scarf. The door swung open abruptly and Eddie stood tall, expecting to see Principal Higgins before him. Instead, you stepped into the room, keeping your eyes on Eddie with smirk as you leaned your back on the door to shut it. You crossed you legs over one another shyly as Eddie gawked at you. Your body felt like it was burning as he raked his eyes over you. 

"Hey." He said. It was the only thing he could think of in his state of disbelief.

"Hey."

His lack of response was worrying you. Nancy had tried so hard to convince you that Eddie liked you, but you were beginning to think that maybe she had been wrong. Eddie was nothing but a moment. Five measly years out of an entire lifetime. But do you simply let the moment pass you by, or do you seize the moment and make something out of it?

"What are you doing here?"

"I've come to see you."

"Me? Why?"

"I'm sorry, do you want me to go?"

"No, no, no, I don't want you to go. Sorry, it's just different being alone with you. Like properly alone with you, especially when you look like that."

"Good different?"

"Definitely good different." 

You smiled, feeling a bit more confident in yourself. You moved towards him and he took your hands in his.

"Listen, I've been wanting to tell you this, but I never really found a great time, especially with the other guys around all the time."

"What is it?"

He paused, having second thoughts about telling you. He knew you liked someone else. What if you just laughed in his face? No, you wouldn't do that. He'd opened up to you before, he could do it again. 

He released an exasperated sigh. "I like you, okay"

When you didn't reply in your state of shock, he continued. "I really like you, but I don't want to. I never thought that I could like someone like you. That's to say the popular chick, the cheerleading captain, you know what I mean. I spent my whole life hating people like that because they were all just bullies." He scoffed a laugh like he could hardly believe what he was saying. "And then you come along and you were just... different. I don't know how to explain it, there's just something about you. Something that I like."

"But I know you don't like me." He quickly added, drooping his head to face the ground.

You couldn't believe what you had just heard. Your heart was threatening to beat out of your chest. Eddie does like you. You wanted to scream in happiness. But he thinks you like someone else. "what makes you think that?"

"I overheard you say to Nancy that you liked someone."

You laughed in incredulity. "That was about you, airhead!"

"It was?" His head snapped back up, looking at you with wide eyes.

"Do you think I'd dress like this if it wasn't for you?"

"Oh baby," he held your hands gently, pulling you forwards for you to look directly at him, "you look smoking hot don't get me wrong, but you don't have to change yourself for me, okay?"

You nodded, giving him a shy smile.

"You do look smoking hot by the way." He smirked pulling you closer so you were chest to chest. 

He tilted your chin up softly, eyeing the way your kissable lips parted for him and eyelids drooped with desire. Just a simple touch from him could ignite something deep within you. Something that had been dormant for so long. 

Passion? Desire?

Love?

"Eddie." You whispered against his lips.

"Yes, baby?"

"Do you really mean it? Do you really like me?"

"I do, sweetheart, I really do."

"Good." You rested your forehead against his as he stroked a wisp of hair from your face.

"Hey, sweetheart?"

"Yes, baby?" You teased.

"Can I kiss you?"

Your nodded, seizing the moment. You had never been more sure of anything in your life. Your eyes closed, ready for Eddie to press his lips against yours for your first real kiss.

"Munson-- What the...?"

The two of you jumped apart when the door swung open and Principal Higgins stood there looking rather puzzled. He was confused about how you had ended up in the closet, and why you had completely changed your look, but he didn't say anything. He was tired and wanted to go home.

"Let's go." He snapped.

The two of you made your way out of the closet and walked back to the library, Principal Higgins following closely behind like the two of you were going to run away from him any second. The walk to the library was short. The two of you sat down together and Higgins stood sternly before everyone with his arms crossed. He eyed everyone up in a way that was supposed to be intimidating.

"Papers?"

Nancy slid a single piece of paper across the table. Higgins picked it up wearily, reading the signatures of the kids scribbled in a mixed array of handwriting across the top. He looked mystified by the paper, but before he could open his mouth, the bell rang and everyone immediately gathered their things and left, leaving Higgins to read the paper alone.

Dear Principal Higgins,

We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong, but we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us — in the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain and an athlete, a basket case, a princess, a cheerleader and a criminal.

Does that answer your question?

Sincerely yours,

The Breakfast Club

~~~~~

Saturday.

October 25th, 1984.

Hawkins High.

4:05pm.

~~~~~

The sky had reclined into a rich blue, shadows stretching across the school's front steps in the setting sun. The five of you made your way down the stairs to the few cars outside. 

Nancy held hands with Steve on the way down, giving him a peck on the cheek before getting into her mother's car. She immediately began questioning her as they drove off down the road. Steve did a not-so-secret fist pump, and waved everyone goodbye before getting into his fathers car.

"See you guys on Monday." Robin bid you both farewell as she got in the back of the final car. 

You and Eddie stood in a comfortable silence side by side on the final step, neither of you wanting to say goodbye yet. 

"You know, I was thinking." Eddie broke the silence, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and leaning his weight on you. "What if there was another way to get back at your parents?"

"Like what?" You playfully shrugged him off, turning to face him.

"Well, I'm sure dating a metalhead weed smoker wouldn't appease them too much." 

You smiled at the way he put it, but frowned almost instantly when a sudden thought flashed behind your eyes. "What about Billy?"

"Let me deal with him." You don't look too convinced. "I'm stronger than I look, you know."

There was a relief that took a weight off your chest. Could this finally be over? Happiness felt like it was bursting in sunrays in your heart, making you giddy. You couldn't stop the smile from stretching across your lips. 

"I'll believe it when I see it." You teased. "Wouldn't want our first date to be at the hospital."

"So is that a yes?"

A chilly breeze rustled through the trees, borrowing your body heat and giving you goose bumps in return. A weight fell on your shoulders when Eddie placed his coat over you.

"Eddie you don't have to."

"You think I'm gonna let you walk home in the cold wearing that?"

"Maybe not." You smiled. "Let me give you something in return then."

"Oh you don't--"

You reached for your watch, unclasping the thin metallic band before grabbing his wrist and wrapping it around.

"You're giving me your watch? Why?"

You fastened it as loosely as you could, but it was still a little tight on him. He didn't resist, however, instead he watched you intently and read the time on it when you were done.

"Because tomorrow night, when the big hand hits twelve and the little hand hits seven, I want you to come pick me up."

"Pick you up? Like a date? So it is a yes."

Butterflies fluttered in your stomach. You couldn't decide whether it was from excitement or nerves. You could only hope that Eddie will placate his chronic tardiness to show up at your door at exactly seven o'clock on the dot. But, you would have to find out tomorrow.

"But where do you want to go?"

"Leave that to me. Think of it as an early birthday present."

Eddie smirked, bending down to wrap his arms around your waist, bringing you close enough that a turn of your head would end up with your lips together. "Tell you what, you know what I want for my birthday?"

"What would that be?"

"I do believe I asked you for a kiss earlier."

"You did, but I guess you'll have to wait for your birthday for that." You smirked, pulling away and hopping off the step, making a start homeward.

You turned around teasingly to see Eddie frozen on the step completely stunned. You giggled to yourself, turning back with a skip in your step. You took about ten more steps before turning around again, only to see Eddie right behind you. He wrapped his arms around you waist, picking you up and spinning you around as your laughter echoed across the school field. 

"Oh no you don't, sweetheart." 

He span you around wildly as you attempted to beg him to stop through your laughter. His fingers prodded at your ribs, tickling you into submission. With a final dizzying spin, he set you down with a chuckle. You grabbed onto his shoulders to steady yourself as the world kept spinning around you. 

"Fine, just one kiss."

"That's more like it." He smiled.

He gently placed a calloused hand along your jaw, cupping your cheek to pull you closer. Your eyes closed softly as his lips finally pressed to yours in your first proper kiss together. The kiss was sweet with passion, pure and vulnerable with a promise of love. His warm tongue stroked against your lips tenderly and you threaded your hands through his hair, tilting your head as you massaged your tongue against his. He moaned softly into your mouth, using his other hand to draw your bodies together. 

Hesitantly, you pulled apart, the two of you with heavy eyelids and drunken smiles.

"How about I walk you home? Make a start on trying to "impress" your parents."

"I think I'd like that."

Somehow, eight hours in a school library had managed to change your life completely. Fate was the librarian, usually known for matching you with the book you want. Only this time you all got paired with a book you didn't want, or rather one that didn't suit your taste. Yet, you read it anyway and discovered that it is possible to branch out. It is possible to make changes, and that changes can be for the better. You can learn things that you otherwise wouldn't have about life, people, love. You can learn that everyone is different, yet we all share the same emotions. Insecurity and vulnerability can be embraced, and there is no right and wrong. At the end of the day, what matters most is acceptance, within yourself and within others.

~~~~~

<<<Previous // Next>>>

~~~~~

Taglist: @cruwushes @the-ch0sen-on3 @namelesshumanperson @ali-r3n @cadence73 @munsonssweets @ahoyyharrington @mewchiili @yourdailymemedelivery @httpsunflowers @b-irock @coolglittercornbae @sav12321 @cumslutforaemond @siriuslysmoking @learninglinesintherainn @peaches-roses-sins @lodeddiperrodrick @catherinnn @lilocapoca @minniedreamers @melaninjhs @chaosfrogsonfire @levylovegood @bowsforsienna @rcailleachcola @spookysace24 @metalhead-succubus

[katyawriteswhump]

mommy's girl

For @stevieweek day 4 (sorry I’m late!) Special Outfit and extra prompts, Scoops/uniform, lingerie & @steddiemicrofic July prompt, ‘one’.  Rating: M WC 1,111 words. CW: None.

Tags: trans-fem Stevie Harrington, steddie, no upside down au, angst and feels, platonic stobin, steve has an awesome mom and not-so-awesome dad (also, faintly based on some RL experiences belonging to my other half... used with permission and love ;)) All my ST fic on AO3

Summary: Stevie makes a new beginning, and it’s all super-overwhelming…

…

Stevie was fumbling in her purse for her car-keys. Her mom hurried from the porch with yesterday’s mascara bleeding from her eyes and her hair tumbling from its pins:

“Stevie! You forgot your name-badge.”

“Gotta love company policy,” griped Stevie. At least the dumb thing now said ‘Stevie.’ Her mom pinned it on her Scoops uniform above her padded bra—part of a slinky set Eddie gifted her last time he came home from tour. Eddie was next due back today, which was something to look forward to after the previous night’s trauma.

“You gonna be okay, mom?” asked Stevie. “If you need me, I’ll call in sick.”

“No. This is day one of the rest of our lives. Your father’s finally gone for good. I need to start untangling our affairs.”

“And I finally get to go to work in a miniskirt.” Stevie glanced at her thigh-kissing skirt. She loved it, but… Shit, too much was happening.

His mom had booted her father out for a billion reasons. However, his constant gaslighting of Stevie being Stevie—and her dating ‘that lowlife Munson punk’—had sparked last night’s apocalyptic standoff. “Look, I’m sorry it was me that—”

“Don’t you dare apologise.” Her mom placed her hands on Stevie’s shoulders. “I’m so proud of you, darling. You got a job you enjoy, a boyfriend who adores you, and you always look a billion dollars.”

“In this shitty uniform?”

“Even in that.”

“Still not wearing the lousy hat.”

Breaking the news about her father to Robin meant Scoops opened half an hour late. Then, when Stevie leaned down to pull up the shutter, Robin yelled: “Screw you, Shit-bird, that skirt looks too good, and your ass looks too pretty, and I despise you.”

“You wear a skirt then. You could start a douchey scoreboard for who gets more creepy stares.”

“You know I hate skirts.”

“Quit whining then.”

Bantering with Robin couldn’t distract Stevie from her tiredness and nerves. When her mind started screaming, she focussed on the cling of her skirt, the glide of the silk panties beneath. Eddie would be here soon. Eddie would go crazy for her…

Robin took the phone message. Eddie’s flight was cancelled. He wouldn’t be home till tomorrow.

Dammit, Stevie needed him now.

She was wiping down a table, when she heard a snicker. A devastating mean-girl stare slammed into her.

Right at crotch level.

Stevie glanced down. 

Oh. Shit.

Robin found her at the back of the store, slumped forward on the table, face pillowed in her arms. “Stevie? You okay?”

“No.” Stevie jumped up and pointed to the middle-front of her skirt. At the bulge. “Look.”

“Huh?”

 “You see? It’s Mr… Miss Pokey.” 

Robin shrugged. “Only if you squint.”

Stevie swiped her lank-feeling hair from her face. Her hands trembled. “I’ve not even gotten an erection or anything. Everyone’s staring.”

“They’re not.”

“They are! I loved these panties, but the silk triangle at the front bunches everything forward and…” Suddenly, it was all super-overwhelming. What the heck was she… HE… doing? He’d wrecked his parents’ marriage. Eddie was probably lying about the flight to avoid him. “Jesus, I look horrible. I’ll put the shorts back on.”

“Don’t you dare.” Robin shoved a banana across the table. “Eat that. You’re cranky when you’re hungry.”

“It doesn’t solve—”

“No, it doesn’t. I have an idea what will.”

…

“It’s too weird not having to shit myself about your Pa taking pot-shots at me,” said Eddie, when Stevie led him into her bedroom. It was stacked with boxes—her mom had already got the decorators in. “Got you a lil’ something, Babe.”

Eddie presented a crepe-paper parcel. Stevie smiled tightly and sat on the bed to unwrap. It was gonna be more underwear, but her confidence was so shattered that…

She held up the swathe of peachy cotton and white lace. “You got me granny pants?”

Eddie beamed and Stevie couldn’t help giggling.

“Jesus, did Robin call you? Or my mom?”

She stripped off and pulled them on, loving how Eddie lapped her up with his thirsty gaze. Stevie couldn’t keep her own eyes from the mirror. The panties pressed her in slightly in the front, perfect for a mini-skirt or figure-hugging dress. Eddie swept her hair from where it dusted her shoulders and hooked her matching bra. He trailed kisses down the sweep of her neck, each sending a delicious shimmer down her spine, then twirled her around.

“I love them, Eddie.”

“Me too, honey. You look amazing. I could’ve got ones that pad at the hips but with your teeny waist…” He traced it lightly. She shivered with pleasure. “Nah, don’t need it.”

“Can’t believe I’m feeling hot in big panties.” She leaned back into his embrace, dizzied by the weird relief of the moment. It was no way as epic as her father having finally gone, but… 

“Shall I order a dozen, Stevie?”

“Hell, yeah.”

They both tumbled sideways onto her bed. “Cool, Babe. Let’s get you outta them.”

They took it slow, kissing till he was wearing her lipstick. Then he set her squirming, her fists clenching his hair, as he nibbled around the cute lace at the trim of her panties, before slipping his fingertips teasingly beneath. Slowly, he peeled her free. Stevie hadn’t waxed today, but that was fine, because hairy was what she was sometimes, and Eddie, as he whispered again and again, worshipped her every way she was.

They made love, fixing deep in each other’s eyes. Stevie’s panties looped her thigh like a slinky garter.

…

It was a week later when Stevie, for the first time since her father left, found her mom crying. She was hanging out the washing on the line.

“Mom, what is it?”  She hurried over, and yes, her mom’s eyes were teary. And she was laughing. “Mom?”

Her mom reached up and brushed knuckles down Stevie’s cheek. “Don’t worry about me, darling. I’m happy.” She nodded at Stevie’s new panties. “They remind me of my gym kit. You know, the good old cheerleading days. Never marry a Jock, darling.”

“Wasn’t on planning on it.”

“Eddie really is the one, isn’t he?”

Stevie’s heart panged with happiness and sadness at once. “Still time for you to find your one and only, mom.”

They pegged the rest of the washing up together: “Gotta ask, mom—did you want a daughter?”

“I only ever wanted you, Stevie,” she said, then, slightly crossly: “But if your long-haired lover’s late for family dinner again, I’ll kick his ass back on tour.”

“Mom!” Stevie pitched a sock, which her mom neatly caught. “Don’t be mean.”

They were both laughing. Life felt pretty good.

[flowerfan2]

Steve doesn’t talk about his nightmares.  He assumes they all get them, it’s clearly just something you have to accept after going through the shit that they’ve gone through.  He deals with it, like he deals with everything.

One night he wakes from a nightmare and there’s someone in his room, and he’s frozen and he’s terrified and he can’t reach his bat.  He feels like his chest is about to explode until a second later when the figure moves in front of the window, hands held up in front of him and eyes wide with concern.

“Eddie,” Steve says, his voice scraping out of his body.  “What – what are you doing here?”

Eddie cocks his head.  “Many, many vodka shots, couldn’t drive home, crashed on your couch, etc. etc.  You don’t remember?”

Steve does, now, the sound of Eddie’s voice bringing reality back, and he nods.  “Yeah, uh, so many vodka shots.  But…?” he trails off, gesturing to his bedroom.  

“I heard you.”  Eddie shrugs, then climbs onto the bed like it’s no big deal, shoving aside the messy blankets and sitting cross-legged next to Steve.  For a moment he’s backlit by the light outside, his curls a frizzy halo.  “Nightmares suck.  You okay?”

Steve sucks in a long breath and pushes his sweaty hair out of his face with a shaking hand.  “Uh, sure.”  Eddie doesn’t look convinced.  He heard him.  “What, um, what did I say?”

Because sometimes the dreams are about things that actually happened, like him and his friends being attacked by monsters, and sometimes they’re about things that didn’t actually happen but almost did, like Eddie and Max dying.  Sometimes they’re about brand-new horrors that he hasn’t even experienced yet.  His mind is impressive that way.

“You just screamed a lot.”  Eddie holds his gaze, and Steve feels sick to his stomach.  Probably explains why he wakes up with his throat hurting so often.  Benefits of an empty house.

Eddie shifts, all limbs, and lays down on his side, head propped on one hand.  Steve’s plaid comforter is pushed down by his feet, and Eddie tucks his bare toes underneath it. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asks quietly.

Steve fights the urge to bury his face in his pillow.  “I can’t.”

Eddie accepts this and rolls to his back, hands clasped over his chest briefly until they start waving around as he speaks.  “I get nightmares all the time.  Always have.  Used to be they were about regular little kid stuff, then all the normal high school shit – showing up somewhere without your clothes on, whatever.  Wayne was always real nice about it, didn’t make me feel embarrassed, just kind of sat with me or brought me water, you know.”  Eddie glances over to Steve’s bedside table where there’s already a glass of water, and he meets Steve’s eyes.

“No, I’m good,” Steve says, with a little snort.  “Do you, um, have different nightmares now?”

“Oh, fuck yeah,” Eddie says, turning back on his side to fully face Steve.  “I keep thinking they’ll be great material for song lyrics, or campaigns, once they stop scaring the living daylights out of me.  Worst ones are where I’m getting bitten over and over by those god damned demobats, man.  Fucking sharp-ass teeth, ripping me apart.  Hurts like hell, can’t believe how much it hurts.  And that thing where you wake up and still feel it, right, like the pain is real for a minute even though it’s just a dream?  Like a pain-echo?  God, I hate that.”

“Me too,” Steve says, and he takes in a deep breath and lets it out.  “It’s like that for me, too.  Really scary.”  He stretches, feeling some of the tension leave his body, and relaxes down into his pillow.  He no longer feels like he’s on a rollercoaster without a safety bar.  He’s not alone.  “Thanks.”

Eddie studies him, then reaches down and tugs on the sheet, eventually getting part of it untangled, and pulls it up over Steve’s legs.

Steve knows what’s going to happen next, but he suddenly can’t let it.  Without thinking too much about it, he reaches over and touches his hand to where Eddie’s lies between them on the bed.  “Would you stay?”

His heart is beating hard in his chest for a reason having nothing at all to do with nightmares, when Eddie twines his fingers together with Steve’s and nods, a shy smile tugging at his mouth.  “Yeah.”