#eddie if you see this: hi 🙋‍♀️

[aryshacore]

[lover-of-mine]

Me? Wanting to talk about the locker room scene in comparison to the cemetery scene to make a point no one asked about? Raise your hand if you saw this is coming 🙋‍♀️

Anyway, this is madness written by a gifmaker/video editor who hates coloring the cemetery scene with a burning passion and who spent the better part of the past 2 days trying to make a coloring work for the locker room scene, who also did some asking around with other editors who also seem to be having issues with the scene, and who spends way too much time thinking about Buck and death (someone drown that man, please).

I'm gonna start this off by saying that I don't really believe the cemetery scene will be directly addressed on the show no matter how much I wish it would. But something about the cemetery scene besides the actual content of the scene that keeps me up at night and had me writing multiple fics dealing with it, is the fact that the sky is only blue behind Eddie.

Why is that relevant in any way, shape, or form? The colors when the focus is on Buck or both of them have this almost yellowish tone that the focus on Eddie doesn't have. The sky and colors strongly imply that they added a filter to it in post-production to ensure the colors looked like that, along with the fact that it is a scene that's really weird to color something that happens when they go too hard on the filters *cough* crossover *cough* pilot *cough*. What does that have to do with the locker room? The locker room also has this almost yellowish tone that makes it hell to color. But based on my 2 days of testing different colorings and techniques, it seems to be a hell of a lot worse when the shot has that wall over there where the sun is hitting as a background.

That suggests that they wanted the scenes to have a specific lighting that they achieved later. Considering the way that the tendency of the cemetery is that the colors get muted or weirdly blended together and that the locker room goes YELLOW, I am assuming that they messed with the colors on the cemetery to make the colors look faded, giving it that gloomy feeling, which in turn made the sky almost white, and that they needed that sunlight reflecting on the wall to look that bright, which made the scene look a lot more yellow than it should. Seriously, trying to work this out I legit make it look like Buck is a Simpsons character.

Okay, but Anna, why did you make this particular connection? Well, the word is muted when Buck is talking about starting to date Natalia and then the sun gets brighter when he talks about them breaking up? COME ON. He's calling the relationship boring and the word literally gets brighter as he says it, madness.

Buck talking about dating Natalia -> Buck talking about breaking up with Natalia (please don't judge the gifs I don't want the stress of coloring them combined right now lol)

But that's the same reaction. Dude is smiling going in, he's smiling going out.

And considering Buck's relationship with his own death and the way I strongly believe that what drew him to Natalia was the fact that she didn't think his death was a tragedy and he wasn't ready to deal with the reality of had happened to him yet, to get him to the point where death is boring is progress. Makes me fear for my Buck breakdown wishes, but it is progress for that particular aspect of Buck, considering he has a very intricate relationship with death down to the fact he was born as a hail mary to prevent it. We have multiple near-death experiences, we have him saving the lives of people loves multiple times, the first time we see him he's saving a kid who drowned, his first big conflict is the fact that he's not handling not being able to save someone's life all that well, I can keep going, but you see my point, right?

The arc with Natalia, even though we didn't see the originally planned conclusion since the actress couldn't come back, had this point of Buck looking at what happened to him through the eyes of someone who didn't know him before and was actually excited about that happening, so he could distance himself from what happened and look at it from a "safe" distance. That distance also allowed him to ignore the very important "I need to do this for myself" thing from the coma dream because Buck is terrified of being alone, and that definitely includes the fear of finding out who he is by himself. Buck is bad at being alone, from meaningless sex, to hanging on to Abby too long, to hanging on to Taylor too long, to jumping in with Natalia, the first pretty girl who looked his way, it all makes this part of him very clear (parenthesis because I just had a thought, yes, Buck latches on to Taylor out of fear of being alone triggered by Eddie almost dying, but he thought he could have died himself considering the crane and everything about it and also the way he could very much have been shot at the same time as Eddie, he latched on to Natalia because he did die, he also almost died on his first date with Abby and Abby actually reached out to him when he was feeling all sorts of bad over someone dying, and he is held at gunpoint and watched a death that deeply affected him before he started dating Ali, so we have death as a connection here too, if that makes sense, I might have to come back to this thought later).

But the thing is, when you look at 6a for Buck considering the fact that Buck is passively suicidal, in a very I'm not trying to get killed but I don't think I don't care if I do die way, and how he probably thought he was going to die in a blaze of glory saving someone, and how he actually died in a pretty run-of-the-mill call, by something no one has any control over it, Buck's relationship with what he thought death was and would be for him changed. For one, Buck was not ready for how much it affected everyone around him, he never considered what the grief of losing him would do to the people he loves, but also, Buck's main excuse for his near-death experiences/impulsive behavior that puts him in mortal danger was "but I didn't actually die" like with the blood clots or "I didn't get the worst of it" like with the shooting, I think even the tsunami a little bit with how he felt about losing Chris. But he did actually die, and considering the fact that he went up that ladder when Chimney was ready to go up and Eddie also got hit by the lightning, he also got the worst of it. So he lost his own coping mechanism.

So he arrived at a point where death is boring and he is smiling like an idiot at Eddie welcoming him "back to the world of the living" and that could have fun implications going forward. Because, one, he still hasn't dealt with a big emotion in a healthy way, and two, Bobby is in mortal danger. Considering his reaction to Bobby being dead in his coma world and the fact that he has no coping mechanism left when it comes to death anymore along with his own relationship with water and danger we could have some fun reactions to these types of triggers for him there.

And thinking about the way Oliver keeps talking about Buck learning more about himself and also about Buck leaning on Eddie, someone who had his own journey dealing with multiple layers of his relationship with death, they have a fun space to play with there, with Buck's relationship with death, Eddie's relationship with Buck's death, and everything else that could happen with Eddie fully dealing with Shannon's death, and Buck dealing with anything really, Daniel, his own death, his fear of being alone, all as someone who actually wants to live, who's not just moving because he's alive and has no other alternative.

That's it for today, as always, if you reached this I love you 💜

[denim-mixtapes]

🛒🙋‍♀️🦅🤯 and in my best oliver twist voice:🤲

Hi love thank u for keeping me company rn <3<3

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

I know I reuse a lot of the same phrases, I'll admit to that but its never on purpose I'm just fond of some certain sentence structures lol. I also refer to scents/the sense of smell a lot to set a scene because I know how easily smell can trigger a memory.

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

YEAH LMAO. Not only have I been blessed that a couple of my fan fic friends have evolved into IRL friends, but my roommate and my close friends also know that I write to some extent. I don't share my actual writing with them but they know its fan fiction lol

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

It depends on the fic!! Usually if its just a one shot, I just go for it. But if something is going to have multiple chapters I do sit down and at minimum I outline where the major plot points go and in which chapter.

🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

ANGST!!!!! I absolutely love love love reading a good angst plot point but for the LIFE OF ME I can not write it.

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

From the Showstopper Christmas Special:

“So much for no gifts,” he chides, ducking down to scoop the mess of boxes from your grip. Once he’s sure he has a good handle on them, he ducks to kiss your cheek in greeting and then clumsily leads you inside. “Leave the rest,” he urges, “I’ll go get it once I set Santa’s entire workshop under the tree.”

Your cheeks heat at his tease, looking down at your shoes as you mumble, “it isn’t that much.” Eddie responds with a hearty laugh, full and genuine, and it blooms more confidence in your chest. When you look up, you see that the ‘tree’ isn’t much more than a string of garland wrapped around a coat rack, but there are handmade and sentimental ornaments strung from it proudly. He dusts off his hands animatedly and turns to you with a proud smile, “I know, I know, but we did say no gifts.”

Writing Emoji Ask Game!

[hangon-silvergirl]

🤡✨💋🙋‍♀️❌📚 (i have a Normal amount of interest in u and ur process) ((full disclosure i included the ❌ in an attempt to determine whether or not i can trust u with my consistently fragile emotional state))

Haha, Maj I love you. (Asks from this post.)

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

In Marigold, the 7/11 scene (Chapter 2), I enjoyed a lot. It actually hit all the notes on paper that it did in my head, which is, you know, pretty rare; I could hear GVDs voice whispering 'oh crumbs' when Eddie turns around and recognizes Chrissy, and it just. Sent me, when I was editing, lil leg kicks and all. My husband thought I was nuts. But, also, the buzz, and Eddie in the backroom exploding ketchup all over himself and snorting red bull out of his nose, and then the conversation between him and Mike (Chapter 3). I dunno, it just killed me. Another scene that translated well from brain wave to the written word.

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

I did this here, but I will do it again, because gosh darn it, I should be nice to myself. I set a scene well. I like to create immersive experiences, and make readers feel like they are wherever I've set the story, and can see it as close to the way I do as I'm able to convey.

💋 First kiss fics. Love em or hate em?

Big sucker for 'em, in fact. And gimme a little tension along with it, please and thanks. I want that build up.

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

They do, yes! My husband does, and most of my friends are aware. One person I used to write with (RP and fic, back in the Greatest Journal days, oi), is actually the reason I met my husband; we were online friends first, then I moved to her home city, and well, the rest is history. She was even my maid of honor when I got married.

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

Sex magic, enemies-to-lovers, crack and dark fic.

📚 Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?

*Sigh* Yeah. It is a challenge with the demanding nature of the work I do professionally, in addition to raising two little people. Life is really busy. Fanfiction is a hobby, so it's less demanding, more relieving. I have a number of partially finished novels that I've been plucking away at since university, and maybe someday I'll make something out of them.

[outrunningthedark]

First off I’m sorry if this gets to long or muddled but I just wanted to say something from the prospective of a mother with children who have disabilities.

Ok so my issues with people saying Shannon deserved redemption; when my son was 4 we got his diagnosis and at the time life was hard I also had a baby and things were just super hard. One day my then partner just left he decided he couldn’t handle bringing up a child with special needs and that was nearly 3 years ago and we have not seen or heard from him since.

Something I get told a lot is ‘oh he might come back one day it must have been so hard for him’ um excuse me!?! I was the parent left behind to handle all the appointments and daily physical therapies and the emotional toll of a child who’s daddy just left one day and every day since I have lied to that child to make it so he has no idea the real reason his father left us.

To hear things like that when I have had to literally drag myself and my kids through some of the hardest times is a kick in the gut, he doesn’t deserve to come back one day as the hero who found things hard so had to take a break, that’s not how it goes, but if you arepeople like Shannon Diaz you should be forgiven right? because poor you right? WRONG!!!

Who was it who sat and held your child while you needed to breath? Who picked up the slack of handling everything? Who cried themselves to sleep at night because they felt they weren’t enough that they were failing their child because things were hard? Who took the emotional toll of lying to your child so they didn’t feel like they had any blame in you leaving (which they didn’t let’s face it, you were just being selfish, taking a break would have been telling your husband I’ll be back in a week and I’ll be stronger than ever) my second child got diagnosed with the same thing as my oldest when he was 2 life is ridiculously hard but I would not walk out on my babies and for people to try and excuse what Shannon did is offensive. I know people say Eddie checked out first but my god even five minutes after enlisting he could have regretted it but it was too late, we don’t know enough about that to really dig into it.

I’m sorry you have caught so much crap lately about Shannon and A*a (who I won’t mention cos I’ll probably get a ban), you don’t deserve it at all, people will never understand because they don’t want to they all have their own agendas as far as these characters are concerned and hating Shannon and Ana doesn’t fit in with their own rhetoric where Buddie shouldn’t happen etc. They just don’t realise the people they are insulting to do it.

Obviously I've always been aware of ableism, but being in this fandom, being exposed to people from outside my own little bubble, has made me realize how widespread it really is. And it's heartbreaking because now I'm forced to wonder what kind of excuses people come up with for how the disabled are treated in everyday life. (Are we even a consideration if they don't personally know someone who is part of the community?) You are a shining example of the mother fandom pretends Shannon was before she left and could have been *again* if given the chance. You are the type of mother disabled kids and young adults need to function in a world that was not (and is not) catered to us. We need mothers that will be our voice, that will see our potential, and that will fight for us. We need mothers that love us unconditionally. We need mothers that see US, not our disabilities. Most of all, we need mothers with no regrets. I don't have to tell you that we're not all so fortunate to have two parents who learn to accept our "limitations". Some of us don't even have one. (🙋‍♀️) It's the able-bodied people, as well as the disabled people who were raised in much more attentive homes, that need the reality check: If someone cannot handle the possibility of raising a disabled child because it's "overwhelming", they should NEVER have children. If they leave, that's gonna stay with their kid until the end of time. If they stay out of obligation, the resentment is going to be difficult to cover up for a minimum of eighteen years and THAT will cause serious self esteem issues going forward.

As for the other ableist: the support for A*a (at least when she returned in Jinx) was confusing for me, ngl. Did fandom contract selective amnesia? Were we choosing to ignore what had happened the season prior? Maybe viewers didn't even realize her comment was ableist? (Sadly true!) Maybe they felt it was "insensitive", but agreed with her overall opinion because CP + skateboards don't usually mix? (Sadly true x2!) When Eddie went with Buck’s suggestion over hers, was that not a clue she was in the wrong? When the show didn't address it the same way they had every single one of Eddie's missteps, was that not a clue that A*a wasn't meant to be sympathized with or necessarily liked? Now that season four is in the books, most of fandom agrees she was never supposed to be Eddie's long term love interest/endgame, but, man...that first week when she reappeared and people said "They're cute! You're all just haters!" sure was strange, huh? I guess pretty people acting ugly is so common that nobody bats an eye anymore...