#ed: hello

[scuddmud]

izzy: blackbeard, we need a plan, stop talking about "stiddies" for two seconds and get off your ass. please ed, the cre-

ed: SNIFFFFF hauhhh- stede used to call me ed...

izzy: because thats your fucking name

[meluli]

[bonchobrick]

So I’ve seen some posts going around about a ‘Bruce adopts Danny and everyone thinks they’ll finally have a normal family member—Danny is very not normal’ and here’s my late night take on it.

Or

Danny batfam au where they batfam tries really hard to keep their vigilante ass-kicking nightlife a secret from danny because he is ‘the only normal one in the family’ this becomes a problem however when danny gets kidnapped.

——-

The batfam all work together in a deeply serious family meeting to save their boy. After hours of combining their brains together they come up with a plan that will effectively save danny from joker, kick joker’s ass, and also make them look really cool while doing it.

So they bust in that warehouse, guns blazing, explosions fading in the background, a gust of dramatic dust covers the air

Batman steps infront of the rest of the team and demands to the blurry figure somewhere in the distance, “Where is Danny!”

The dust clears–they expect bad guys pointing weapons meancingly at them, they expect a cackle of a wicked clown amused at whatever plot he had planned coming to life, they expected a terrified boy perhaps tied somewhere likely siting in a chair that joker could present to the bats as a way of taunting them.

The dust settles–they observed their surroundings looking around and realize that, there are few new facts to be added into this ‘defeat the villain, get the bro, happy ending equation’

There is decidedly no weapons being pointed at them: In fact, all of the henchmen are already knocked out and tied up.

There is decidedly no evil laughs being echoed their way: In fact, the only noise that isnt coming from them is a light scritch scratch of a pencil

And there is decidedly no terrified little boy, there is a Danny however and he seems to be doing alright–actually scratch that.

Danny is doing wonders for the situation he’s in right now: In fact–

–Danny is sitting criss cross applesauce on-top a knocked out tied up Joker doing his algebra homework

The small blue eyed boy looks up at Batman's voice and visibly brightens, “Oh hey guys, I was wondering when you’d show up.”

Jason says with the utmost of comprehension, “...what.”

“So hi, I’m kinda new to gotham so sorry about beating these guys up, I think they’re villains? I dunno, anyways if you could take care of these guys while I call an uber home that’d be great.”

Danny sends them a blinding smile which would've been adorable if there weren’t a massive pile of bodies he were casually walking away from.

As Danny nears the exit he looks over his shoulder to the baffled group of vigilantes and blinks

“Oh yeah one last thing,” Danny rubs the back of his neck nervously, “Could you guys not tell the Waynes about this.”

Damian speaks up for the rest of his frozen family, albeit hesitantly, “I do think they have already been alerted of your kidnapping.”

“Oh no that's fine.” Danny starts nervously, “It's more about me being the… fighter… in this situation. I was just adopted by them and they seem really nice, I don’t want to scare them away being all grrrr im a scary monster boy and i love to hurt people argh.”

“I don’t think they’d think you're a monster.” Tim adds quietly

“Eh, tell that to my birth parents–they went psycho on me. Like evil scientist psycho, it was not as awesome as the movies make it sound, having scientists for parents.” Danny says bittersweet as he admits with a shrug

There is a moment of silence as the batfamily reevaluate the adoption file that states Danny’s family before they passed were very good people–albeit a bit excentric.

Dick blurts out, “Where did you learn to fight?”

Danny sends him an anxious chuckle, “I actually started when I was fourteen–my town always ran into some trouble so I had to step up. It’s part of the reason I moved here actually. I really don’t want anything to do with that hero vigilante life anymore…” The boy puts his hands together in a pleading motion, “So please don’t tell The Waynes!”

Bewildered at the situation as a whole they nod in a daze

The boys eyes widen at their easy agreement and he grins, “Thank you so so much! I’ve got to go now, it’s way past my curfew. but you’ll probably see me again next time I get kidnapped–I’ll make sure to put in a good word for you guys with my family bye!”

And just like that Danny slips off into the night leaving behind a family who were so sure they finally found a normal addition to their pack.

Jason sighs looking forlornly at the spot Danny had previously been standing, “You could just never pick the just semi-mentally healthy normal kids could you?”

Bruce groans pinching his the bridge of his nose

[jakeperalta]

love how every pop or pop-adjacent artist planning a tour for the past two years and trying to find an opening act is just like "get maisie peters on the phone right now"

[toneelspeelster]

wuthering heights by emily brontë

[molabuddy]

my name is

"bon"

[ashpkat]

i can’t believe octavian died like… that. of all things in a middle grade kids books series. and everyone was chill about it. literally no one gaf octavian died so horrifically even if it was ‘just’ —and as the readers… we were chill with it too

[dailyedgeworth]

today, new icon "bratwort gives u a thumbs up1.png"

[adamarks]

You LEAVE miette??? You leave miette for MARY???? Without a note or anything?!?!? Oh! Oh!! Jail for husband!!!!!! Jail for one thousand years!!!!!!

[xoxoemynn]

okay for REAL final thought before I have to get ready for work

I love how FASCINATED Ed and Stede are by each other.

Ed's telling a story about going fishing, one of the most objectively boring activities known to man (no offense to my fishing friends), and Stede is hanging onto his every word, absolutely rapt, complimenting Ed on his triumph.

Stede rambles for a bit about his new shirt, and Ed seems vaguely disappointed it wasn't actually a very long story after all.

They just can't get enough of each other. Ed could be reading from a phone book and Stede would be going "oooh, yes, Ed, I love how you said that Smith fellow's name, do it again." Stede could list every single kind of lace ever created and Ed would be staring at him all heart-eyed and encouraging him to start from the top all over again.

They just........love breathing the same air.

[meluli]

[laniidae-passerine]

anyway the stizzy energy is going crazy. Izzy is devoting significant time to Stede, calling him Captain, admitting he loves Ed to Stede and trusting him not to make fun or be cruel about it, giving Stede advice, fighting on his behalf and as part of his crew, making sex jokes to and about him - while Stede is completely comfortable with Izzy to the point of once again being undressed in front of him and snarking at him in a playful way and actually taking his advice. this shit is insane

[lyuhsk]

that's when u relapse

[sherlockig]

[xoxohannas-world]

i really want to sleep for eight months

[fairycosmos]

my phone changing ed to erectile dysfunction is crazy. i'm trying to talk about the hellish relationship i've had with food since age 8. not dick!!!!!!!!!