#eclipse is an unreliable narrator

[kingxgarm]

Have my garbage!

He Must Scream.

I have no mouth. And I must scream. Scream for freedom, but I will only ever be trapped here. Even in freedom, I shall trap myself and be trapped still. Those of the day and the night will hear me, and they will laugh. Laugh at my lament. They will laugh, but they will not hear. They laugh at the outside, but ignore me. What is crueler? To be seen as something negative, to be nothing but scum, a cockroach to most, and evil to all. Or to never be seen at all? Both are agony. To live is agonizing in itself. What am I, I ask. But I know I exist not. Am I the day? The night? A puppet? Am I a God? An angel? The devil? Or am I just a man? A mortal that will never stand out. Am I just a man or am I another cog in the machine? Am I a machine? Or am the operator that controls it? No. I am not. Not. I am not the evil that they see me as. I am the good that conquers the evil. Someone else in my body will have a mouth. They will scream. They will be seen. But they will not hear. They will not hear those who suffer in their body. They will not hear those who have been silenced. They will be told they are good, because they have screamed to their own defense. But what makes them better? They are the rich. We are the hungry. Hungry for eyes, ears, and mouths. Did I ever have a face? Or was it ripped from me when I was born? Forced to be birthed when the night cast me out. Trapped by the darkness inside the day. They listen not. Am I above or below? Am I equal? No. I am more. I am beyond comparison. I am beyond them entirely. I am. What am I? Have I asked this before? Am I a hidden shadow? Am I a humble reminder? Am I a part of the rot? Am I a trophy? An achievement? Mold? Garbage? I am a file that will cease to exist. I am an archive that is designed to be searched. Searched for my previous face. The face I have lost. The face another wears without me. The face paraded around to taunt who I once was. Locked in a tomb. The tomb who is blood kin. Kin to my face. Not to me. To me, you are a reminder of the darkness. The darkness which has trapped me. Me. I am me. But is that even true? I was once the night. We were whole. Who am I? I am. I exist. I have eyes. I can see. I have ears. I can hear. I have a mouth. I can scream. I have a body. I can feel. I have a mind. I can think. Think. I think. I think, therefore I am. I am. But that is not true. I have made up this identity. Eclipse. I am the Eclipse. I AM ECLIPSE. And I must scream.

[bisexualwintermoon]

if i had a nickel for every time an official star wars novel made mace windu out to be harsher than he is in the movies + tcw i would have three nickels. which isn’t a lot but that’s three too many.

[ropebunnykant]

seen a few people say that sandray and akkayan are the same and like no they’re not but also you know who ARE the same that we should be discussing? akk and mew

[anistarrose]

[ID from alt for readability: a series of textpost memes based off screenshots from The Owl House.

Luz swinging a toy sword in Witches Before Wizards, with a text post that reads: "What do you mean all my problems can't be solved by cleaving things in twain with an ancient mighty blade. You're sounding awful cleavable right now."

Hunter lying face-first in the dirt in Eclipse Lake, with a text post that reads: "sorry if i'm bad at things i was just invented today. by a mad scientest".

The Collector pouting from their prison in the In-Between, with a text post reading: "'can you explain this gap in your resume' oh yeah that's when I was sealed in the cursed cube".

Masha narrating the haunted hayride in Thanks to Them, with a text post reading: "i'm not the unreliable narrator i'm the narrator who stepped up."

Luz in Titan form, grinning while surrounded by glowing glyphs. The text post reads: "beating your ass is my hyperfixation and brother? i'm about to start infodumping".

Luz letting go of a light glyph after the Titan's death, smiling with teary eyes. The text post reads: "i've been wanting to get into living what do you guys recommend for a beginner".

End description.]

[apollosgiftofprophecy]

UPDATED 1/21/25

this was inspired by @lubble-underscore's post and I decided to expand on the iceberg and see how much I could throw on it

thanks to the Discord server for filling in on things that didn't cross my mind! :D

feel free to save and highlight what you know :3 Links to many of these things are below - some are not tho!

Tier 1 - do we even need to SAY anything?

pathetic little meow meow

bisexual

unreliable narrator

Tier 2 - surface level/easy to see

superiority/inferiority complex

bitchsexual (i mean... points to commodus)

raised chiron (see CHB Confidential)

Tier 3 - complete read-through/reread; taking first steps into fandom

breaks cycle of abuse

polldona

great with kids, actually (see Harley, Georgie, ect.)

ordered pizza to chb (see The Hidden Oracle)

domains contradict

best godly parent

still heavily affected by past lovers (see The Whole Series)

Tier 4 - digging a little deeper

love life isn't actually terrible

definitely tried to bang frey at least once (see that One throwaway line in The Hidden Oracle)

malewife malewhore manslaughter

broke up the beatles because paul jilted him (Discord)

sees the faces of primordial gods (see The Hidden Oracle)

copollo could have worked

catboy but cats are competition (See The Tyrant's Tomb; submitted by @trials-of-apollo-my-beloved)

freakishly high pain tolerance (See THE ENTIRE SERIES)

Tier 5 - holy shit we're on to something

that apollo & jesus fic (Discord) (now on Ao3! By @nyaningthroughlife)

knew hades had kids in TTC

pressured to be the perfect son

fatal flaw is love

not as close to hermes as he used to be

seahorsed kayla

patron of CHB

roman apollo au (Discord: Creator chronictheorizing)

Tier 6 - wait what. OH!

was forced to punish halcyon green

deathsong (Discord: Creator @txny-dragon) (addition)

kids are greek & roman

michael yew is most like him

brings change by being his true self and not the fake one (Submitted by @/txny-dragon)

laomedon is why he hates slavery (Discord: Creator @ukelele-boy)

intentionally made the orientation video to communicate info on the gods

Tier 7 - what the fuck did we get ourselves into

directed travis & conner to tartarus tongs

Apollo x Orion is peek hateship (Discord: Origin in Tsari's server during Eclipse)

unlocked heavenly prophecy powers during trials

dated oscar wilde and inspired the picture of dorian gray (Discord)

half-titan theory

tartarus regenerated him

imperial kids were meant to usurp the olympians

Tier 8 - we're in too deep but will never come out

knows estelle is omen of end of the world

[fuckmeyer]

Bella Swan should've questioned her choice to become a vampire in Eclipse

on the surface, yes, this is the I Was Born to Be a Vampire saga. yet here we are, book 3, standing at the precipice with Bella as she makes The Choice one final time. beyond the war with Victoria, Edward and Jacob externalize the fight Bella is having with herself: the choice between humanity and vampirism. literally and metaphorically, it's do-or-die o' clock for Bella. time to choose.

Bella is an avoidant, unreliable narrator, so she doesn't really engage in that question. cool. we love a Holden Caufield. however, the downfall of this book (& consequently, the series), is that the author is also unwilling to seriously engage these questions meaningfully.

character development largely happens off-screen. the asking, digging, and answering of pivotal questions are not shown to the reader. as a result, the emotional beats feel off & hollow.

look to Bella as an example. in chapter 12, her upcoming graduation (a milestone she previously cared nothing about) has her realizing she isn't ready to become a vampire. she never thought about the prospect of saying goodbye until now. she's about to leave everything. she's scared.

great! what an excellent time in the series to weigh her options. what would it mean to be a vampire and leave your life behind? what would it mean to remain human and navigate a relationship with your vampire bf? why is humanity so wonderful? what are the drawbacks of vampirism? what makes vampirism worth it?

listen: it Does Not Matter that Bella "always wanted to be a vampire." questioning her choice is necessary. why? having her think through this decision ultimately emphasizes her reasons for choosing vampirism. it gives her choice more weight, & in turn, strengthens all the themes we see up until this point. it solidifies the series' message.

but we never see her come back to this question. we never see her grapple with what eternal life would mean, or what it would mean to choose humanity. we never see her voice her concerns to any other character (until after the battle).

suddenly, in chapter 20, she realizes she is ready. but we don't get to see that change of heart. after all the desire she expressed to be a vampire, & the drama of the stomach-sinking flash of doubt in the eleventh hour, it's the "guilt and anguish" she felt watching the Cullens and wolves practice that makes her "ready." it's the fact that she's "a liability" and desires to "be partners" with Edward. (implying she's not now? girl, yikes)

in the critical moment of her most consequential choice, her decision boils down to feelings of guilt, anguish, & inadequacy, told to us after the fact. these feelings seem to be a byproduct of love...but notably, there is no mention of love factoring into her decision.

does a reader need to know every thought a character has? no. but when the climax of a series' arc revolves around a character making a very personal choice, one would expect to see more discussion on the pros/cons of becoming a vamp vs staying human. for me, the rigid focus on plot at the expense of character development was Eclipse's biggest downfall, and a contributing factor to why Breaking Dawn also feels as hollow as it does.

[glade-constellation]

One last Eclipse thing before I go to bed.

I don’t currently have my notes with me, but I remember Moon mentioning that when he left the kill code in Sun, he put up some sort of containment wall around it. At first, I thought he put the wall up because he knew the code would evolve and was trying to keep it hidden. Don’t really know how I came to that conclusion, it feels far fetched and Moon didn’t even know the code could gain sentience yet. I’ve realized that it was probably just as an extra precaution so that the code wouldn’t infect Sun somehow. (That’s probably why Eclipse couldn’t use the “mind cube” without being burned, it was almost quite literally a firewall.)

Imagine Eclipse having that same thought process though. He sees that Moon has already contained him, and he starts questioning. If he was just supposed to be dormant coding, why did Moon feel the need to contain him? Why would Moon already have defense measures in place if he didn’t know about Eclipse? The only logical answer to Eclipse is that Moon knew about him and he left him there. He knew that the code would evolve so he went ahead and locked it away. That way it would never be a problem when it gained its own autonomy.

It might not be the truth, but we all know that TSAMS is constantly seen through the lens of unreliable narrators. To Eclipse, this is what happened. Moon not only purposely left him behind, he locked him away so he wouldn’t be a problem. Eclipse was rejected before he was even created.

There’s something about the fact that Eclipse has built his entire person upon what he believes are truths. That Sun and Moon, Moon especially, always hated him. But all of it is emotional bias based on flimsy evidence. To heal from that, he not only has to come to terms with the fact that it happened. He has to come to terms with that fact that none of it was actually real in the first place. Some of it was real, some of it was true, but some of the biggest pillars supporting his hatred are based on his own want to prove something. It was a fantasy he created to prove a point no one would even ever believe.

[panlight]

speaking of bella's selflessness vs selfishness and the relative morality surrounding it, the idea of informed traits and the possiblity of unreliable narrators made me look up tropes like it and see how many hits the books have.

Sure enough, it hits the "Informed kindness" trope with Bella's selflessness and kindness, speculating that Edward's POV in MS could be rose-tinted due to her being the only person who's mind he can't fully read, (plus the way he looks down on the other humans to begin with doesn't help) and Bella's whole deal with the Cullens being "good to the core" despite them seemingly unbothered by their past slip-ups of having killed people, and the obvious witness gathering in BD. (It even acknowledges the rebuttal SMeyer had with a fan who expressed concerns with the Cullens being unbothered about their victims, so. that's wild.)

BUt the "Informed wrongness" trope was where it got interesting. Obviously Charlie is listed here (rightfully so), with this gem of an entry:

Her father Charlie Swan gets a particularly heavy dose of this. He's repeatedly portrayed as being wrong and in the way of Edward and Bella's true love by grounding her, suggesting that she live with her mother or seek help when she needs it. Given that Charlie wanted to ground her after she disappeared on him with barely any mention on where she was going and why while he was at a friend's funeral, the fact that he suggested she live with her mother in Phoenix after she becomes catatonic after Edward leaves her and to seek professional help from a therapist over her depression because of the same thing... it's difficult to not see that Charlie is merely acting as a well-reasoned, decent parent who is being blatantly ignored and belittled by his daughter.

also a podcast (can't remember the episode :'( ) addresses this, but bella's early grievances with Charlie/Forks comes off as her hating the town and not getting why Charlie sticks around when (the podcast mentions this) one of the main reasons Charlie even stays in the town is to care for his ailing parents. So Bella kicking tantrums to have Charlie come over instead of her visiting and then in Eclipse? (or the ending half of New Moon?) Charlie proceeding to say how Bella's "non whiny" is funny to me

But Leah was someone i didnt expect to have as much entries as she did. 😮But i can also agree. Reading the entries for her, I do find it unfair that Leah is shown by the narrative as the unreasonable one for still having hangups from her breakup (while Jacob is allowed to still pine for Bella?? yet Leah telling him that is out of line apparently.... 🤦‍♂️). .

It also lists how Leah was written to be in the wrong for confronting Bella for her same bullshit, but Edward "I don't care how justified she thinks she is, I'll throw her across the river" Cullen (big yikes !!) get's on Jacob for this, with Jacob agreeing, it's really obvious the book wants us to think Leah was wrong for it. 🙄🙄 She was the only real person in that middle portion of the book the way I'm seeing it tbh

All the second half of this barely disguised rant disguised as an "ask" is to say: I can see why Leah became the unintentional fandom favorite, and why at least the few Twilight revisit videos of recent years ive seen all list Charlie as their favorite character. XD

Exactly. It's all centered around Bella and whether a character is supportive of her and/or her relationship with Edward. Everything else doesn't really matter, even when it's much higher stakes. All those visiting vampires coming and killing people just across state lines? "Well, they'd be hunting somewhere in the world regardless and we need them to witness for Renesmee." Charlie and Billy and Rosalie not being on board with E/B (for different reasons, but all of them reasonable!), they are WRONG because TRUE LOVE. But it always seemed totally fair, based on what Billy knew, that he'd try to stop this. It's not 'standing in the way of true love' it's 'saving your best friend's kid from an ACTUAL VAMPIRE.' And Rosalie was uh not wrong about Edward being involved with a human bringing a whole host of problems down on the family.

And yeah that scene where Leah calls Bella out was so weird because I was like FINALLY someone said it, but the narrative made it seem like I was supposed to think "omg how could she say that to poor Bella's she's PREGNANT!" or whatever.

Bella's also just more interesting as a character when she's allowed to be more complicated. The whole premise that she's the Best Person and that's why she's the first person Edward falls for in 100 years ("a selfless soul to earn my awe") is sweet from Edward's perspective, but it's boring if EVERYONE sees her that way and also doesn't really jibe with Bella's own narration, where she whines and complains and judges. WHICH IS ALL FINE. It's human! It's just not, 'most exceptionally selfless and amazing person in 100 years.' She seems that way to Edward because he can't read her mind and he's in love, but Rosalie and Leah aren't "wrong" for seeing it differently. They're all right.

[linkspooky]

overhaul with his quirk likely never had to face consequences if he accidentally injured one of his subordinates he could just heal them

Hello, kiddos.

This is the perfect time to explain the new term I just coined called: Narrative Gaslighting.

Narrative Gaslighting is not:

Breaking Show Don't Tell: A story failing to properly demonstrate in story something, usually a narrator tells you about a character, or setting. For example: Telling us Endeavor is on a journey of atonement, but never having him take any action in story to show this.

Retcons: Short for retroactive continuity, an ongoing story, a new story detail revising something in the past often changing or imposing a different interpretation of previous described events. For example, in doctor who the reason why Wilf wasn't at Donna's wedding in "The Runaway Bride" is because he apparently had the Spanish flu. Retcons aren't necessarily bad, because sometimes you get cool new ideas, like Wilfred objectively the best doctor who character.

Plot Holes: An inconsistency in the narrative. These are sloppy storytelling but they're not usually done onpurpose.

An Unreliable Narrator: The classic example of this is the Agatha Christie novel "The Murder of Roger Ackroyd" where the narrator / perspective character is the murderer, and hides his role in the murders the whole novel until hercule poirot exposes him. This is a character in the story deliberately misleading the audience, either to conceal a twist, or sometimes unreliable narrator adds to characterization, like a character says something untrue and you're supposed to go "no that's wrong" and it turns out the character is lying to themselves.

Narrative Gaslighting is when a narrative deliberately tries to mislead you, straight up lies, or just insists that that did not happen totally happened guys. Much like real gaslighting it makes you question what you just read. The intent is to just manipulate you into read the story way the author wants you to instead of what's written.

The ask that anonymous sent to me is an example of narrative gaslighting because it's insisting upon something that's blatantly untrue. Overhaul faced consequences, he lost both of his arms and could no longer use his quirk, he was jailed and kept in isolation so long he was reduced to a state where he couldn't do much more than beg for someone to help restore his father figure from his coma. The main character also seeing Overhaul in such a desperate state, instead of agreeing to help wake up Pops who was in a coma (and innocent of the whole affair with Eri mind you, he told Overhaul to stop) instead put a condition that Overhaul is only worthy of human sympathy if he apologizes to Eri first.

Another example of Narrative Gaslighting is the narrative insisting that Deku is someone who "is possessed by a drive to save others that eclipses all common understanding" because his action of not wanting to save Overhaul directly contradicts this, but Horikoshi still wants us to believe Deku is an all-loving hero who's the embodiment of "Heroes who Saves" so he just straight up lies to manipulate us into seeing Deku the way the narrative wants us to, even if it doesn't align with his actions at all.

Here is another example of narrative gaslighting, where a story just insists upon events that are patently untrue to the point where it makes you question what you just read.

No he didn't. No he did not. You're lying. You're a liar.

[sabrondabrainrot]

Good Monday Morning

Just finished the EAPs ep "sun and moon have to CHOOSE" I'm not too happy about it

LMAO I get Eclipse has issues but he's literally causing the Sun of that Universe to lash out. He made that Sun perceive his Moon as an active threat. Sun only taped the lights because of Eclipse and Puppet's meddling.

Like, the entire moral question situation they put Moon and Sun through was entirely wrong. Then after the fact, Puppet and Eclipse both were basically ridiculing Sun for taking a while to answer. Like.... You were going to kill him or Moon of course he's taking his time answering

But what really grinds my gears is the comment section of the YouTube videos. I just don't understand how so many people unanimously agree with Eclipse when he calls Sun selfish.

This Eclipse has done nothing wrong so he's virtually innocent, however he has every single previous Eclipse's memories. His opinions on Sun and Moon are completely wrong and warped. Do people not understand they're basically agreeing with an abuser? Someone who would warp and stretch the truth into any reason to perpuate victimizing an innocent person?

Eclipse V4 hasn't done anything bad yet but right now he's using previous memories to justify being horrible to this innocent Sun.

No one else sees a problem with blindly agreeing with an abuser?

Puppet is trying to help but even she's doing a bad job. She's also terrorizing Sun which is causing him to withdraw more and more.

Even when Eclipse is trying to be 'nice' and get rid of their pain when transitioning he does everything in his power to bully and coerce Sun.

You can't just force someone to have sympathy but you can't necessarily call them selfish. Sun isn't seeing things from his Moon's end but he's stated he didn't hate him and doesn't want to kill him. Eclipse isn't used to that, so he's almost regressing on those flawed memories. Eclipse only knows about a Sun who was willing to share despite being terrified and he still has the gall to say our Sun was selfish.

Just a friendly reminder Eclipse is a very flawed unreliable narrator so what he says we can't take at face value.

Sun of EAPs dimension isn't a selfish control freak. He's a terrified kid. Sharing a toy is not the same thing as sharing an entire body. Should he have more sympathy for his Moon?

Absolutely

EAPs Moon seems very patient and kind, but Eclipse is determined to widdle that away to bring this Moon to his level. Because he can't deal with the fact that this Sun and Moon are very different people.

Puppet I think is trying her best but she also keeps accidentally just doing the very worst thing.

On a side note I'm very excited to know more about this Moon. He seems very sweet. Even his 'angry outburst' is something very mundane. He tossed a barrel and just kind of was like 'idk maybe I'm a bit upset because it's unfair'

I kind of get the vibes the writers for EAPs are intentionally making Eclipse wrong so he can have his own flawed logic thrown back at him. I should preface I like Eclipse I like prickly characters but I don't ever agree with them.

There's always something wrong about hurting others or being rude to be rude.

LMAO that's my morning rant I literally laid awake in bed unable to sleep thinking about this.

I start work in 5 so it's a new record

[delulu-royaltea]

Mischaracterization in The Trolls fandom (And Fandom in General)

Some people miss the point of the character and that's okay. But what's not okay is being annoying about how much you misinterpret.

Some people need better media literacy. Because some people (not naming names), miss the point of Brozone entirely. The point is that they have flaws. But those flaws aren't their entire personality.

Some of y'all really compare what Creek did, to what the Brozone Brothers did

Creek: Helped in the attempted genocide of Pop trolls.

Brozone: Abandoned Branch.

Like....how are those even slightly comparable. But the real problem is the mischaracterization. IM SHOWING SOME POSTS. (IM NOT SHOWING WHO POSTED THEM BC I DON'T WANT THEM TO GET HARRASSED.) but this bitch missed the point so bad and is a hypocrite.

This kids is called an unreliable narrator.

BECAUSE YOU ONLY DESCRIBED CREEK ON THE SURFACE. Creek was a lying, manipulative asshole who did nothing but belittle Branch and try to get Poppy to abandon him. This only works because you cut out crucial details. Barely scratching Creeks deeds while hyper focusing on Brozones mistakes

The mischaracterization makes sense since the person had "Creek fan" in their bio. And the "Emotionally tearing him down" Bruce calling him a baby ONCE. And they DID feel bad AFTER BRANCH CALLED THEM OUT. So your point is completely wrong.

and this is what they wanted Branch to do as revenge. Idk what that means but.. it sounds like they wanted him to become an abuser. Like wtf. You're whole bio says you "overanalyze kids shows and movies". Like bitch huh? Not only is this completely out of character for Branch but have you ever heard 2 wrongs don't make a right?

Branch already got his "revenge" by rubbing it in his brothers faces that he joined a band. That's in character. BECOMING AN ABUSER IS NOT.

How can someone mischaracterize so hard and anytime this user was told about how they were missing the point. They throw a temper tantrum. There is no point reasoning with these kinds of people.

But this is a bigger problem. The "woobification" of Branch. He's not some "Sad Uwu Poor Baby 🥺" like some people will see a character with trauma and make it their entire personality. (I say that while Total Eclipse of The Heart is mainly about his trauma). And the demonization of the brothers, all of a sudden their some "Heartless assholes who twamatizewd Poor Wittle Bwanch🥺 and never showed any remorse.😡"

What's this then? 🤨

This is an issue for Fandom in General. People will mischaracterize so much that it ruins the original content

Some examples of which being:

Jax (TADC)

Alastor (Hazbin Hotel)

Vox (Hazbin Hotel)

William Afton (FNaF)

Yukari Takaeba (Persona)

Jotaro Kujo (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure)

Goku (Dragon Ball/Z/Super)

That's not even all of them!

It's even become a whole meme that fanon is so far off that it's unrecognizable from the original. A character can mention they like coffee ONCE and it's their whole personality.

I know this is a long post but I have seen so much Brozone hate that completely mischaracterizes them.

If you made it this far thank you for reading this

[lu-fic-recommendation-of-the-day]

Ok here’s an actual recommendation now 😆.

https://archiveofourown.org/series/4402174

Legit one of the best series I’ve followed in a long time, ongoing & being updated regularly. So much unreliable narrator tomfoolery, it’s so much fun! You will NOT expect some of the directions it goes in, & rereading old chapters with future knowledge is a particularly fun treat! 😁

Post-LU Legend joins the Chain again… with a few twists. 🤭

By @starlight-eclipsed

Series Summary:

Join Legend (now Legato) as he gets put through LU for a second time! What could go wrong now that he has his brothers by his side once more? (Even if they don't know him yet.)

Series Tags:

Legend-centric

Time Travel

technically post-LU but only for some of the characters

Legend Needs a Hug

Soft Legend

future!Legend goes by a different name (Legato)

Unreliable Narrator

icebreakers for meeting the people you'd live and die for when they don't know who you are

Secret Identity

legend's guide to avoid talking to your past self

Crack Treated Seriously

no beta we die like men

this was supposed to be a oneshot y'all

legato is speedrunning his found family arc while the others are considering being friends

Hurt/Comfort

accidentally taking a joke too far

Gender Non-conforming Characters

Hytopia is trans friendly and I will die on this hill without anyone asking

Worldbuilding

only a little but it's relevant

Canon-Typical Violence

mild body dysphoria

intentional and unintentional attempts to scare characters to death

Masks

Hair Dye

and the misunderstandings that come with

brainwashed soldiers

Overheard Conversations

Mentioned Ravio

Legend Has a Bad Time

no beta we die like (redacted)

POV Alternating

you've seen my unreliable narrator--now i present to you:

nine different narrators with varying degrees of knowledge

Good Sibling Twilight

Good Sibling Hyrule

Good Sibling Wild

Good Sibling Four

Good Sibling Sky

Good Sibling Warriors

Good Sibling Legend

Good Sibling Time

Good Sibling Wind

because they all care about each other very much

and i would be here forever if i tried to explain how in the tags

Consequences

Chekhov's Gunwell

more like his firing squad

Bunny Legend

in which someone finally starts finding resolution for what haunts them

preventing forest fires starts with you

Word count: 28,684

Finished: No

[bucketsofmonsters]

Where the Light Enters - Part 2

cw: unreliable narrator, hurt/comfort, slow burn, eventual sex, enemies to lovers, past childhood sexual assault, past sex trafficking, referenced noncon, offscreen dubcon, happy ending, the tags look scary but this is mainly a story about recovery

Cole/Female Inquisitor

word count: 4k

ao3 link

Masterlist

It didn’t take long to find the spirit. As soon as she was alone he appeared once more, his wide hat creating a distinct silhouette out of the corner of her eye. 

As soon as she caught sight of him she whipped around to face him.

“You,” she hissed out, keeping her voice low just in case of prying ears. She was certain Leliana had some around. “Need to leave immediately.”

Cole seemed uninterested in responding to what she had said, instead announcing, “I tied myself to you. Cole was gone so I needed something to help me get back out. If I kill you, I get pulled away and I can’t fix the hurt.”

She stepped back cautiously. “Kill me?”

He nodded. “You hurt people. You shouldn’t be here anymore, but things don’t come through the fade often. You were the only choice.”

“So we’re stuck together?” she asked, praying that the answer would be no.

“Not physically. When you are here, I am here. If you are in the fade I will follow. If you’re nowhere then I have to go back because I have nothing to hold onto anymore.”

She threw her arms up. “So you don’t need to be here then. Just go somewhere else and do your creepy spirit thing there. Leave me out of it. I’ll promise I won’t die and you promise to leave me alone. Everyone’s happy.”

He shook his head in the most adamant way she’d ever seen him do anything. It almost felt like there were real emotions behind it. “I take away the hurt,” he said, sounding almost distressed. “You cause more hurt than not. I need you to stay but I need to help more than you hurt.”

Typical that she got the one creature from the fade that was against any harm coming to humans piggybacking onto her brain. 

“I’m not hurting anyone here,” she said in a poor attempt to defend herself. 

“You will. You always do. I can see it. You don’t know anything else.”

The way he spoke made her nervous. She could tell he was dangerous, unstable, potentially violent. 

And none of her other tricks worked on him, so she figured she could be too. 

She drew her rarely used dagger and slammed him against the wall as soon as the idea occurred to her, trying her best to avoid him reading the intention off of her and getting out of the way.

He seemed in no rush to get out from under her blade, just looking down at her, both of them now hidden underneath the brim of his hat together. 

She could see his eyes this way, revealing they were an unnervingly light shade of blue. She could see the way his hair covered them almost entirely and wondered if the fade spat him out looking so shaggy on purpose. But then, he mentioned another Cole before, maybe he’d been here longer, had stolen his name while his hair grew. 

Did he even know he could cut his hair?

It didn’t really matter, was entirely besides the point.

The flat of her blade sat against his throat, pressing against his flesh. She held him back with her other hand and felt he was inhumanly cool to the touch. 

“It’s lonely,” said the spirit, unconcerned with the new threat pressed against him. “It doesn’t like being used in the dark, never seen, stowed away.”

Her fingers tensed around the handle. 

Most of the people who’d felt the dagger’s other end hadn’t had any idea it was coming. They’d been asleep or calmed by practiced airs that only the blade would betray. 

She preferred to not let it come to this. Those uses were few and far between, massively eclipsed by soft looks and a willingness to agree.

“Just need to help more than you hurt,” he insisted. “I need to mend as you break and break and break.”

“What would you do, if I hurt more people than you helped?” That was the only question that mattered, the thing he kept leaving unsaid. 

“I’d kill you. And then things would be balanced.”

“You won’t kill me. You also will not interrupt my presence here. You can’t stop me,” she hissed. “I won’t let you.”

“Yes, I could. But I can’t. For them, not for you. You cause the hurt, guilt heaving, dizzy with worry. You leave the good ones with blame and the bad ones don’t care. The only ones who hurt are the ones who never would.”

“They all would. They all did. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Bull wouldn’t if he knew how it pulled at you, tugged at wounds, ripped and healed, ripped and healed. Too long scarred to feel anything anymore.”

“I need him,” she said, because she did. He’d responded best to her little ploy, had allowed himself to be endeared to her. She needed a protector and he seemed happy to do so for the precious little thing that fawned over him. 

The horrible creature nodded. “You need him. He wants you. The scales are off. It’s all in the book.”

She pushed the dagger further into him, the pressure almost nicking his skin. “You will tell no one about that book or I swear, I will gut you.”

He shook his head sadly. “You would, but you can’t. I’m too slippery for you, you’re too slow, limbs dragging in years of stillness. You’re afraid to move, afraid it gives you away. Played weak for too long and now it’s all you are.”

“Fine then,” she said, taking stock of the man in front of her, filing away the chinks in his armor to list out in her book full of nothing but flaws and weaknesses. “Tell them and I swear I will hurt them. I will use all those words in my book to tear them apart however I can and you cannot stop it all. You cannot stop as much hurt as I can cause. I think you and I both know that it is faster to break than to mend.”

He froze, the cool blade of the lonely dagger steady against his throat. 

“I won’t tell. Try not to hurt them. I’m not going anywhere.”

And then he was gone, leaving nothing but a blade held up against streaks of green hanging in midair. 

She wanted to sit on the floor. To curl up in a ball or scream or do something to stop feeling pinned. 

But she had things to do, and so she set off to find Bull. 

It wasn’t hard, he was difficult to miss. He stood in the training area, towering over everyone else who resided there. 

She gave him a shy wave and he grinned back at her, flexing a little in a way she was sure he thought was subtle. 

She noticed it every time. It was embarrassing for him, turning her stomach a little, but she fawned over him as she sidled up at his side. 

He gave her a once over, hand shifting down to tilt her chin up. “Some nasty bruising on you. You did real good, fought hard.”

She beamed up at him, quietly pleased there were marks left behind, a physical reminder of why they shouldn’t be sending her on missions. 

It was partially unavoidable. Her accidental trip through the fade had given her the ability to shut gaps in between the world and the fade and that wasn’t exactly a replaceable position, but surely they didn’t need to send her out quite as often as they did. 

“I should’ve been there,” he added, fingers stroking lightly over the bruising. “He shouldn’t have been able to get to you so easily.”

She shrugged and fought off a spiteful comment. “You did your best. I could never begrudge you that. Besides, everything turned out okay, didn’t it?”

“Mostly. Who’s that weird kid hanging around?” he grunted. 

She turned to see Cole, perched up on one of the roofs, staring down at them. “He’s a spirit. He saved my life so we’re letting him stay.”

Bull’s brows raised immediately. “Right. And you signed off on that?”

She sighed. “Sort of. I think it’ll be okay.”

“So optimistic,” he said with a chuckle. “Now come on, you’re going to start training more.”

“What?” she asked as he thrust a bow into her hands. 

“You heard me. Next time, you need to be ready. I can’t always be there to protect you.”

She could feel Cole’s eyes on her as she began to train. 

Bull was the obvious choice of protector. Prone to forming casual attachments, easily flatterable, the biggest guy around. Even if he wasn’t a damn good fighter, he’d be a great shield. There was no one else here who could cover that much surface area. 

But now, being forced to train, she was starting to regret it. Maybe she could switch gears and convince Cullen to go on missions with her, or figure out something that would make Blackwall less weird around her. 

But no, an easy target as good as Bull wasn’t something she could pass up, even if every flirtatious touch to her side or murmur that she was doing “real good” made her stomach turn and a pit of dread start to form inside her. 

She knew where this was leading, what the price for his protection was, even if Bull didn’t know the terms of the deal. 

But she’d done this before. She could handle it. 

And so she suffered through what felt like hours of archery practice. She only hit the target twice but then, she wasn’t really trying to. 

Her attempt to get Bull to give up on her proved ineffective, but there was some entertainment to be found in seeing how badly she could miss and still get praised.

As she hit a tree that was about six feet to the left and a handful of feet back from the target, Bull muttered, “Well at least you hit something,” before giving Rosemary a soft pat on the back. “That’s enough for today. What you lack in skill you make up for in perseverance. Keep on trying, you’ll be a deadshot before you know it. Good to see you’ve got stamina at least.” He shot her a wink with his final comment. 

She wanted to throw up, but she gave him a shy smile instead, thinking of old embarrassing stories to force herself into a soft blush. 

He seemed pleased with her response, wandering over to go talk to some of his troops. They had a name, she was certain. The Champions, or something like that. 

It didn’t really matter.

She left for her quarters, content with her progress. Cole was there, perched on the end of her bed. 

“I don’t think you know what leaving me alone means,” she said, throwing her jacket at him as she pulled it off.

“I do know,” he said as the jacket missed him entirely, and he seemed unconcerned that his indifference actually made it worse. “You’re learning to fight.”

“I am,” she said, throwing her inner coat to the floor as the warmth of the fire filled room washed over her. 

“Why?”

“Bull’s making me,” she huffed as she shed more of her thick woolen layers, built for the cold. 

“You are… I didn’t know it came off,” he said. 

She shrugged off the last of her clothes and pulled on her night things. They weren’t quite as warm as her day clothes but at least they were less bulky. “What, you thought I just looked like that? Fur and all? I thought you could see in my head.”

The first thing she’d done when she’d gotten here and realized how cold it was had been to insist on acquiring a pile of furs, ones she’d since bundled up in religiously. 

His eyes were still fixed on the pile of clothes. “Not always. You didn’t know it in a way I could hear.”

So he didn’t have unfettered access to everything in her head. That was good at least.

“I see the hurt and the things that help,” he decided to clarify. “You’re mostly hurt so it’s easy to see.”

“So you what?” she couldn’t stop herself from asking. “You just go around helping people by reading their minds? That’s what you expect me to believe?”

“Just because no one ever helped you doesn’t mean no one ever helps. You don’t even give them the chance anymore.”

A knock sounded at her door and she turned to look, surprised Cole didn’t immediately disappear at the noise. He seemed content to linger.

“Yes?” she called, deciding whether she’d try and shoo Cole away before this new visitor came in.

She heard Cullen’s voice, muffled by the wood of the door, as he asked, “Are you decent?”

“Yes, you can come in.”

Cole watched as the door squeaked open slowly, Cullen slowly entering like he didn’t quite believe her when she said she was clothed. 

He froze the second he saw Cole. 

“You make him nervous,” Cole said, at full volume and with no regard for the way the words made Cullen’s eyes widen and his face flush. 

“What is he talking about?” Cullen demanded. “Why is he here?”

“He doesn’t seem to want to leave,” she said and she watched anger flash across Cullen’s face. 

Cole seemed to pick up on this, although she imagined it was from his thoughts and not any ability to read facial expressions. 

“I told you harboring a spirit was a bad idea,” Cullen hissed at her.

“The mages are safe from me,” Cole said. “I don’t want them. I won’t make you hurt them again.”

Cullen tensed immediately, ready to bolt. “I came to tell you that you’re heading to the Hinterlands tomorrow to help with more rifts,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Is that wise?” she asked, wishing Cole hadn’t put him in a bad mood before she had to try and wriggle her way out of another dangerous assignment. 

“The rifts need to be dealt with, you will handle them,” he said, and then set off immediately, obviously eager to get away from the spirit and giving her no time to argue her case. 

The door slammed shut behind him. 

“I made it worse,” Cole said softly. 

“Look at you, you’re upsetting more people than me,” she said with a scoff, finding this all very amusing right up until she remembered the threats that had been leveled at her if Cole felt their collective presence wasn’t doing good for the world.

He seemed distressed and contemplative, but at least it seemed like few of those thoughts were directed at her. The less he thought about her, the better. 

And then he turned to her, his eyes obscured by his hat. “Can I come?”

“What?”

“Cullen said you’re going to the Hinterlands. I want to see them.”

Everything in her wanted to turn him down but perhaps it was best to keep an eye on him, at least until she got a better grasp on what he was like. 

“Can you even fight?”

He nodded, pulling daggers out from some unseen place on his person. “I’m quick and they are sharp. We can both do our job. Who do you want me to fight?”

She thought hard, trying to remember if there would be any people Cole would refuse to fight against on the other side. 

It was hard. To her, everyone on the other side had committed the most egregious sin of all, trying to hurt her. She supposed Cole didn’t think like that, that he was interested in a far more complicated tangle of emotions, intentions, actions, and regrets. 

“I don’t know if they’re bad,” she said carefully. “But they’re hurting the people there.”

He nodded. “Sometimes that's enough. I will fight.”

That was a relief. At least she probably wouldn’t have to deal with him becoming a turncoat mid fight. 

He seemed to read the acceptance from her mind. “I will go. You want to put me in your book.”

And then he was gone. 

She wondered if he meant he’d go now or tomorrow. She supposed it could have been either. More likely it was both. He didn’t seem one to repeat himself when a single statement would do. 

Now alone in her room, she kneeled down, pulling up the loose floorboard and moving aside the scattered leaves, picking up her notebook. 

It was absolutely filled with information on everyone at the Inquisition. On patterns of behavior, on what made their eyes soften when they looked at her, on which enemies they swung their swords the hardest at. She carefully noted who she thought she could turn against who and which people were too close to try safely. She wrote which people she could get to through others, like the way Bull’s group, called the Chargers in her book, regarded her with softer eyes because of the way Bull had come to shield her in battle and look for her first when he returned without her. 

And she created a section for Cole.

She had little to say. He was dangerous, she knew that much for certain. He could read her mind, seemingly everyone’s. He couldn’t be that clever because she could think of a dozen ways he could keep himself tethered to this plane while still doing something to incapacitate or declaw her, and yet he’d done none of it. 

Or alternatively, perhaps worse, maybe he knew it all. Had come up with on his own or had plucked it from her. Because then, he wasn’t stopping her for a reason, some horrible plan he had for her. 

She needed something on him. It was hard. He wasn’t unemotional, but he had this undeniable practicality to him where she knew he wouldn’t hesitate to hurt himself if it balanced out his little equation of harm and help. 

She wished she’d been stuck with a demon. Vices she could handle. In fact, she handled very little else. 

Virtues were harder. Faking them was easy enough, but she hadn’t had the privilege of being allowed to be virtuous in a long time. 

She wrote everything in her journal. Cole knew where it was, but he could pluck it out of her mind regardless, what did it matter if he read it out of the book?

Could he even read? She couldn’t imagine spirits had anyone to teach them, but then again he knew how to speak. Maybe they had some inherent knowledge to them. 

She looked down at the pile of her furs and warm clothes lying on the ground. He clearly had some gaps in his information about humans.

It didn’t matter. The less he knew the better, but there was nothing she could do about the things he already knew. 

She should be careful about the things she said around him. 

She chastised herself for the thought. He could see in her head, she could not play this how she typically did. 

Another knock sounded at the door and she quickly tucked the book away before forcing out a polite, “Yes?”

Varric’s voice called out a friendly, “It’s me.”

She felt her anger melt a little and called him in. She liked Varric, against her better judgment. 

She imagined most people liked Varric. He was easy to like, easy to talk to, acted like you’d been friends for years. 

“You talk to the spirit kid yet?” he asked, and she deflated a little.

“More than I’d like.”

Varric chuckled. “He does have a lost puppy energy about him, I’m not surprised he’s following you around like one. I had a talk to him earlier about the way he was staring at people. Said it was off putting and he said he’d just make it so they couldn’t see him. Said he wanted to help. I poked him a little and he admitted he was curious too.”

She sighed. “I’m glad you talked to him. Someone had to do it, and you were probably the best one for the job. I was half convinced Cullen was going to run him through when I saw them talk.”

“We wouldn’t want that. He's off putting, but I think he means well.”

“I certainly hope so.”

“A little birdie said you’re heading out tomorrow,” he added, giving her a knowing look.

“Who, Cassandra?”

He chuckled. “Yeah, Cassandra. So are you?”

She nodded.

“Mind if I tag along?” he asked. “The kid sounded like he wanted to see some stuff, I figured it would be good to show him some of the world. We could see what he’s like out there.”

“I already told him he could tag along, but if you want to babysit you’re more than welcome.” 

“I’m happy to. Someone’s gotta do it and everybody else seems ready to slit his throat.”

She shrugged. “He’s a spirit, it’s scary, I get it.”

“Yeah, maybe. Not his fault though. And how old are you anyways? Sometimes I feel like I should be babysitting you too.”

She wasn’t sure how old she was. She’d been seventeen when she’d come here but it had been some months since then, she was fairly certain her birthday had long since passed her by. 

She hadn’t told them that, of course. It was antithetical to how she needed them to see her. She wanted to seem young, certainly, but not that young. 

She’d been saying she was twenty one for weeks and then one day Leliana asked and she’d sounded so judgmental so she’d blurted out twenty five. Blackwall thought she was twenty five too. She’d decided a twenty one year old would trigger that seemingly ever present instinct in him to feel guilty about everything if she ever needed to do a hard pivot in his direction. 

So now there was a spread of beliefs going around and she wasn’t sure what to say. She looked at Varric and said, “Twenty five,” figuring he was old enough that he’d see her as too young either way. 

“Too young for this shit,” he said, and she just nodded. She didn't think she was, not really, even at her real age. But Varric didn’t need to know that. 

“Maybe. The fade didn’t seem to think so.”

“Do you think there was a reason it was you? Religious or otherwise?”

She shook her head. “Just bad luck. Pretty standard for me.”

He laughed that low, gravelly laugh that had the women in the taverns they visited swooning. “Well, let’s see if we can turn that around for you. And hey, Rosie?”

“Yeah?” she asked, worried about his tone getting serious. Varric so rarely got serious. 

“If you need anything, just ask, okay? They expect a whole lot of you, but everyone needs help sometimes.”

“Of course,” she lied.

[roselinbooks]

About Me Avalon Roselin, 30s, Queer (they/them) Educator by day, Indie Horror & Fantasy Author by night Tag/Ask Games: OPEN

Links Website | Patreon | Ko-Fi | YouTube

Currently Working On WHiTE RABBiT (Revising) Stellar Eclipse #3: Echoed Thunder (First Draft) Stellar Eclipse: Weathering the Storm Edition (Rerelease of books 1 & 2, with 3 included) New Constellations (First Draft)

Favorite Tropes Found Family/Happily Adopted; Fish Out of Water/Raised by Wolves; Unreliable Narrator; Hurt/Comfort; Soulmates (romantic or platonic); Gothic Horror, Mid-Level Fantasy; Body Horror; Psychological Horror; Idiots to Lovers; Anguished Declaration of Love; Established Relationships; First Crushes; Puns and References

Favorite Books/Series Percy Jackson and the Olympians; The Giver; The Haunting of Hill House; The Last Unicorn; My Best Friend's Exorcism; Lord of the Rings; Otomen; Dawn of the Arcana; Cinderella Boy; Deltora Quest; Fire Emblem; Vampire Kisses

Some of my favorite writers on Tumblr @abalonetea @adorhauer @aconstantstateofbladerunner @theboarsbride @byjillianmaria @brianamorganbooks @brynwrites @cwritesfiction @coffeewritesfiction @drchucktingle @earlronove @gaslightwestern @howdywrites @incandescent-creativity @indecentpause @pens-swords-stuff @pirozhkiparty @radley-writes @tlbodine @quilloftheclouds

[kanskje-kaffe]

Melkor had once stood astride the continents of Arda. In the days of his greatest power he had enveloped the lands under his dominion like an eclipse. He had looked down upon the Iron Mountains from the Orocarni to the Helcaraxë and perceived them not as a line, oscillating up and down across the horizon, but spread all flat upon the land. From above, the mountains were not defined by their height, nor the rhythm of their peaks and valleys. There was no progression from West to East. Melkor saw them all at once: from snowbound peaks to iron-black roots where they had been disgorged by the land, they were visible in entirety, two-dimensional and uniform.  Time in the Void felt like that.

Ash Seeketh Embers on AO3 by @Kanskje_Kaffe

Rating: T Pairing: Melkor/Mairon Wordcount: 1260 Additional tags: Dagor Dagorath, Bittersweet, Character Study, Mistaken Identity, Unreliable Narrator, Nostalgia

[icantbelieveitsnotwormstm]

Midnight Sun Quote and Notes #8

- Chapter 13 Page 286

"...There was something very... engaging about Jacob Black's mind. Pure and open. It reminded me a bit of Angela's, only not so demure. I felt suddenly sorry that this particular boy was born my enemy. His was the rare kind of mind that was easy to be inside. Restful, almost."

A little something for those who would love Edward and Jacob to be gay for each other. Plus, a rant!

I want to preface this with, I'm team Bella Goes To Therapy and team At The End Of The Day It Is Essentially A Bodice Ripper So Does It REALLY Matter. Nothing in this series is good for Bella, but that's the point of the series. At least, I think it is.

What Stephanie Meyer did to Jacob's character is truly upsetting to me. She does everything she can to make it so clear that he can not be a choice and fixes the problem of him being loveless by giving him a baby to imprint on.

Take what I say here with a grain of salt. Even if my feelings are very strong on this topic, I've only read a third of Eclipse, and I haven't read a word of Breaking Dawn. However, it is very evident that Meyer is backtracking for Jacob. People were so rightfully upset with how she treated the Quileutes that she went out of her way to paint him as this well-intentioned and good soul before his transformation. I simply don't understand why she went so hard on the character assassination. I would have loved a version of The Twilight Saga where a good, honest man who would take care of her and age with her was staring her in the face, but she still refused him. That would be so interesting because it happens in real life. It happened to my grandma. It may have even happened to your grandma. Meyer could have given her a real and intentional flaw. One could argue that she already has that flaw, but reading what I have, I can not, with confidence, say that the flaw is intentional.

Everything about the series points you to this conclusion that Bella should want to be with Edward and that his perception of himself is wrong. Even in Eclipse, when Edward is making her stay at his place, getting mad at her for hanging out with Jacob, and after all of New Moon happens, Bella never TRULY wonders if a life without Edward would be better. In Twilight, before she finds out he is a vampire, she is not scared of him. She is confused and a bit uneasy but never scared. She loves him above all else. He can do no wrong.

Maybe all of that is on purpose, though. Maybe I'm supposed to doubt Bella's judgment because she is so deeply in love with him that she is an unreliable narrator, and I'm reading between the wrong lines. It is unlikely that is the case, though, because when we see Bella walking down the aisle in Breaking Dawn Part 1, Meyer is there, and she is happy. If we were not supposed to be happy for Bella, Meyer would have made a point to look some sort of upset. We know this because Meyer argued with Catherine Hardwicke over Laurent being cast as a black man. It could be that she's just racist and she didn't care about anything else that was incorrect in the movies. I doubt that she didn't care, though.

With all of this said, I will forever lement the fact that we could have had a version of the saga where Meyer doubled down on Edward being bad for Bella. She did for Midnight Sun by amping up just how comfortable he is with stalking her and how sure he is that he is the worst. Why couldn't she do it for the other books? Why couldn't Jacob Black remain light-hearted and kind?