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compo67 · 2 years

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For the kissing drabbles! Can I request #7 for Back Pocket J2? Or is that too specific and not allowed? Regular J2 would be fine too!

(This took a while, but I hope you like it, nonny!)

It's a hot day on the island. No, wait. It's a molten lava day on the island. It's terrible, horrible, and seemingly never ending. And it's even worse because Jensen's home doesn't have any--ZERO--air conditioning.

From his side of the bed, Jensen grumbles. "Eat some watermelon," He slowly waves Jared off. "And stop complaining."

They've been naked all day and that still hasn't provided much relief from the oppressive, obnoxious heat and humidity.

Jared huffs and gradually sits up. Moving is difficult in this weather. Doing anything is difficult. He brushes his--frizzy?!--hair out of his face for the millionth time today. "I'm not complaining," he says, pointedly. "I'm... expressing my displeasure with the circumstances as they are."

"Ahh, okay." Jensen reaches towards the middle of the bed and picks up a slice of watermelon from its plate. "I'm so glad you made that distinction."

Jared's brain works hard at putting together a rebuttal, but it works even harder to notice the watermelon juice running down Jensen's stubbled chin. Jensen hasn't shaved in a week and oh my god, how has Jared just noticed this? He could cry at the thought of so many rug burn opportunities gone--wasted! And this past week was full of so much oral--

"Quit it," Jensen growls. "You're staring."

"I have every right to stare," Jared growls back.

"Not when it's creepy."

"I'm not creepy!"

Jensen laughs, deep and loud. It's the kind of full bodied laugh Jared has grown fond of hearing. If Jared could record it and slap it on a record, he'd sell copies of it on the street.

But he also enjoys keeping that laugh to himself. So maybe it's okay enough to just live in the moment and wait until the next one.

"Fine. You're not creepy." Jensen snickers and bites into his captured slice of watermelon. "I was just trying to express that I am not accustomed to being looked upon in such a manner."

Jared gasps. He climbs on top of Jensen's lap, settles there, and looks at him. "Such a manner, pft. You know what you look like, Jensen."

"I do?"

"Yes, you do."

"What do I look like?"

"Like..." Jared taps his lips. "Like a better version of Brad Pitt."

Jensen rolls his eyes and places his hands on Jared's hips. "Uh-huh. Your brain is a wild place, Padalecki."

"It's my world and everyone's just living in it."

"That checks out."

"Hey!" Jared swats at Jensen, then stops to squish Jensen's cheeks. "Look at you, look at this cute widdle face. Perfect for coming on."

Jensen busts out in laughter once again, shaking hard. "Is that all you think about? Coming all over my face?"

Jared reaches back and palms Jensen's cock. "I also think about this coming inside me."

This time, Jensen doesn't laugh. He bites his lower lip and instinctively pushes his hips up into Jared's palm. "Fuck," he groans, as Jared applies a little more pressure.

"Yeah," Jared murmurs, "that's the idea."

The island is a beautiful place in May, even if it leaves Jared feeling like a hot mess. They spent all day outside, in the shade, dressed only in shorts, lying down in the grass. They ate cold lemon-pepper shrimp and drank sugary concoctions imported from Japan while talking about everything and nothing at all. Most of the flowers in Jensen's garden are blooming. He talks to them as he waters them, which Jared (secretly) finds adorable. It might just warm up his cold, dead, Prada heart.

Heat on the island is so different than the heat in Manhattan.

It probably has something to do with Jensen slowly rocking their hips together.

"Third time today," Jensen comments, his voice gravely and dark, just the way Jared likes it.

Tying his hair back, Jared nods. "Maybe today we'll break our record."

"You mean... five times?"

"I mean," Jared leans down and kisses Jensen, "I'm up to the challenge."

They have nothing to do and nowhere to be today. Jensen texted Div and Dali to ask if they could check in on elders today. So far, all texts from them have reported everyone doing well. The teenagers are still planning to play soccer once the sun sets. Jensen wants to join them, Jared hopes to convince him to join them only in spirit--so he can get in that fifth round.

Jensen tastes so sweet, Jared considers having a bite of that watermelon.

Their lips part for a moment. Jensen bumps his nose against Jared's.

"I like having you on me," he says, keeping his voice low.

Jared smiles, unafraid of the crows feet that will inevitably appear around his eyes as time marches on. "I like being on you."

A beat of comfortable silence passes by.

Jensen breaks the silence. He squeezes Jared's ass. "Tell me something about the city."

Jared's noticed that Jensen enjoys listening to stories about New York, whether they're from Jared himself, Dali, or Roberta. Maybe it's Jensen's way of experiencing the city without actually being in the city. Maybe it's his way of easing into his own memories.

"Okay," Jared starts, sitting up again. He rocks backwards, Jensen's cock snug against his ass. He leans forward just a touch so he can tilt his hips, and places his hands on Jensen's broad, freckled chest for balance.

"I love the Dover Street Market on Lexington. It's near this incredible roof top bar. I forget the name of it, but it's got such a great view. But the market. Oh my god. I got the cutest Marc Jacobs lavender, argyle vest there one year. And last winter, I got the most beautiful cable knit dress with its own set of arm warmers. I wore it with a pair of Gucci tights and Prada heels. Speaking of Gucci, Dover Street had a python print leather skirt the last time I went. I should have bought it. It was dyed fire engine red. I have the perfect pair of Louboutin pumps for it. Of course, the damn clerk wanted $4,000 and a blow job for it. I don't regret not giving the blow job. But I do regret leaving the skirt behind. Oh! And there's Post Archive Faction at Dover. I bought a hoodie there for $800 once. It's a mess, but I make it look good. You see, it's got oval cut outs here..."

Jensen partially sits up and kisses Jared--hard and rough, with a kind of heat Jared doesn't mind at all.

"Shh," Jensen coos, effectively shutting Jared up. He tugs on Jared's ponytail. "I'm gonna fuck you now."

"Yes," Jared sighs, with a smirk. "Finally."

It's hot in Jensen's bed--and about to get hotter.

#compo67 #j2 #jared/jensen #back pocket verse #drabbles #cal answers #long post

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briamichellewrites · 5 months

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Phoenix and Linsey ran into one of his ex-boyfriends while eating dinner at a restaurant. The first thing he felt was panic. He looked for a way out. She noticed his anxiety and asked what was wrong. He pointed out his ex and explained who he was. She had him take deep breaths to help calm him down. He did that but it wasn’t working. They were still eating, so they couldn’t leave. Linsey had him get up. She got her purse and walked over to the attendant at the podium.

She explained that her husband was having a panic attack and needed fresh air. They took her credit card, so they couldn’t walk out without paying. Phoenix was not expecting her to do that, but he was thankful she did. They would be back in a few minutes. Outside, they sat down while he worked on his breathing. He also focused his attention on his five senses.

Five minutes later, he felt calm. He hugged and thanked her. You are welcome. They went back inside after she made sure he was okay. It was the first time in a long time that he had a panic attack. He could feel it coming because he felt anxious and an overwhelming sense of fear. His heart was racing. Now, he felt a lot better. They checked in with the attendant, so she would know they were back. She returned her credit card, which she was still holding onto.

“Babe, I am so proud of you for telling me what you were feeling. Keep telling me because I want to know so I can help you.”

He nodded. “I will. I just need to remind myself of that. Thank you for your quick thinking.”

Even though he was still anxious, he was able to have a good time. It was supposed to be a relaxing date night and he didn’t want to ruin that. How did he get so lucky to have married Linsey? He would never understand why she chose him but he was happy she did. His ex-boyfriends would have made fun of him for being weak. It took years of work to get to where he was.

Jon returned to Bria’s after a long day at the studio. She was having fun entertaining Matt and his two friends, Brad Pitt and George Clooney in the living room. Jon and Brad used to be friends in the eighties and nineties but lost contact through the years. They were surprised to see each other. After exchanging a hug, they sat down together. Bria joked that after all the years she had known Jon, he never once mentioned he knew Brad Pitt! How fucking dare you!

They laughed. How did she know Jon? Her parents had a house next door to his in Middletown. They used to visit every once in a while. She had known him since she was five. Did she grow up in LA or New Jersey? She grew up in LA and Montreux, Switzerland where she went to boarding school. Why did she go to boarding school? She had ADHD, so boarding school gave her the stability she needed.

She was able to have a consistent routine every day. The teachers lived at the school with them, so they were available after school to help with their schoolwork. Did she have classes in English or another language? They were taught in English, though they learned French since the municipality was French. She also learned Spanish. It was a great experience because she met classmates from different parts of the world. But, she would never send her children there.

It was too far away. They could see that. Meow. Anya climbed down from the cat tree and came over to the humans. She picked her up and sat her on her lap.

“How is Anya”, Jon asked.

“She’s awesome. Woody accepted her, as did Buddy and Missy.”

“Where are they?”

“They’re around here somewhere. All you have to do is open a bag of something and they’ll come running from wherever they’re hiding.”

They laughed. How many pets did she have? She had a kitten, Anya; a cat, Woody; and two dogs, Missy and Buddy. Woody was her oldest. George asked about his name. He was named after Woody from Toy Story. Anya didn’t know where they were, either because she had been taking a nap. They were around somewhere.

Since she was a kitten, she needed her sleep to grow big and strong! Meow. Woody came in after going around the house looking for Anya. She looked down at him and meowed. He looked up at her. There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you! She was taking a nap in the cat tree. That’s why he couldn’t find her! He hopped up to where she was and sat down. After gently biting her neck, he brought her down to the floor. He then hopped back up and sat down.

“Did you just steal your sister’s spot, dude”, Bria asked.

They laughed. It was his spot! She stole it from him!

“I just had a random memory. A handful of years ago, I was at either Nobu or the Chateau Marmont and I saw you hanging out with a bunch of your friends”, she said to Brad.

“Why didn’t you come over and say hi?”

“I was with my parents and only sixteen. That literally just popped into my head.”

“How old are you now?”

“Don’t even think about it”, Jon jokingly warned him.

They laughed. She was twenty-two and the youngest of her friends. Twenty-two was still very young. George asked about the house. She designed it. He asked about that, so she went over how she had an idea. She shared it with her friend, Jason who was going to graduate school to be a landscape architect. He listened to her ideas and he helped her hire contractors. It was her dream house.

What was the barn used for? They noticed it when they were driving in. She was using it for storage, though she was going to eventually get horses. Her garage had a guest apartment with two bedrooms and a bathroom. The main house had four bedrooms and two bathrooms. Did they want a tour? Yes! They got up and followed her. Bark! Wait for us, humans! Missy and Buddy didn’t know what they were doing, but they wanted to come with them!

Brad was extremely proud of Phoenix! He expressed that he needed help. How was he doing now? He was doing a lot better. Could he feel his panic attack coming? Yeah, he felt like he needed to escape. It was an overwhelming sensation of fear. His heart was pounding. He was able to identify that he was having a panic attack, even though he couldn’t verbalize it.

He just recognized the symptoms. Did his ex-boyfriend say anything to him? No, he just caught his eye and everything he went through came back. He remembered the abuse and gaslighting. It took about five minutes before he could calm himself down.

He took deep breaths and focused on his five senses, instead of his fear. Good for him. He had come a long way and he should be proud of himself. I am. Thank you. One day, he wouldn’t be afraid anymore. That was something he was working towards. Brad reminded him not to push himself. Let things happen gradually. He was trying to do that. One day at a time. That was correct.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon

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baddiedaddy7 · 4 years

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𝗠𝗲𝗿𝗰𝘂𝗿𝘆 𝗜𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘀✨💭

𝗠𝗲𝗿𝗰𝘂𝗿𝘆 𝗜𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗙𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲🗣

might come off as smart. might be tall. might look like a doll. charming. almond eyes. observant. talkative and can probably hold a convo so easily. might have that “crackhead energy”(it’s how they transfer their jittery energy). might be fresh-faced. curious. might come off as distracted, and maybe even rude.

celebrities:Selena Gomez,Kourtney Kardashian,Paul Walker,John Mayer

𝗠𝗲𝗿𝗰𝘂𝗿𝘆 𝗜𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲💸

might like literature. might be a tutor or good at it. clever. practical and rational. might be impulsive with money. type to buy a snack eat it then regret not getting the other snack lol. might be stubborn. might be a slow learner, or the type to only try to learn abt things they really like. might like art. might like to talk abt their possessions or show them off. might like gifts that make them think, like crosswords or puzzles

celebrities:Taylor Swift,Cameron Diaz,Brad Pitt,George Clooney

𝗠𝗲𝗿𝗰𝘂𝗿𝘆 𝗜𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝗿𝗱 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲💬

likes to tell stories and random facts. talkative. might talk really quick. might even stutter. the thrilling and silly sibling. siblings might have gemini/mercury placements. loves to express themselves. passionate. witty. can be forgetful. probably loses interest in things fast due to liking a lot of things.

celebrities:Britney Spears,Sandra Bullock,Jim Carrey,Robert De Niro

𝗠𝗲𝗿𝗰𝘂𝗿𝘆 𝗜𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗙𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘁𝗵 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲💭

parents most likely are very educated. probably learnt a lot abt how life works from a young age. parents might’ve been erratic. probably moved around a lot as a child or just changed the aesthetic of the home often. helpful. not afraid to talk abt their feelings. follow your intuition. might be pessimistic. try not to be manipulative.

celebrities:Jennifer Aniston,Megan Fox,Harry Styles,Charlie Sheen

𝗠𝗲𝗿𝗰𝘂𝗿𝘆 𝗜𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗙𝗶𝗳𝘁𝗵 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲🌹

can say a positive thing about anyone. observant. might have twins. first child will most likely have gemini/virgo/mercury placements. might have a new crush every week lol. hobbies might be watching yt videos and tiktoks, reading, writing, and organizing. dynamic. creative & versatile. can be controlling. try not to be negative. restless

celebrities:Jennifer Love Hewitt,Dolly Parton,RuPaul,Marlon Brando

𝗠𝗲𝗿𝗰𝘂𝗿𝘆 𝗜𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗶𝘅𝘁𝗵 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲🌼

might be a perfectionist. active. illnesses stem from stressing too much or working too hard. clever, and thinks quick. knows reality can be harsh. practical. most likely gossips at work/school. can be nit picky and critical. might have sleep issues, like insomnia. probably fidgets a lot.

celebrities:Miley Cyrus,Serena Williams,Michael Jackson,Will Smith

𝗠𝗲𝗿𝗰𝘂𝗿𝘆 𝗜𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗵 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲🌺

attracts gemini/virgo/mercury placements, but might also have enemies of these placements. attracts intelligent, witty, and chatty partners that may be younger. partners may be practical, but critical. might attract partners that look like they could be your sibling. partners might be too light hearted and not serious. partners probably like to play mind games. you’re probably wordy. always thinks of others, maybe even before themselves. can be indecisive. can stress over relationships too much.

celebrities:Ariana Grande,Kendall Jenner,Snoop Dogg,Hugh Hefner

𝗠𝗲𝗿𝗰𝘂𝗿𝘆 𝗜𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗘𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗵 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲😈

either fascinated or frightened by things like,psychology,astrology,conspiracy theories,sex,death,etc. might be a fan of mysteries. likely to have sex at a young age. likely to live for awhile. will most likely have a rapid death. observant. can read body language and feel vibes from other people easier. intelligent. great listeners. might get turned on from dirty talk, and sweet nothings. humor is definitely dark and dirty. type to joke abt their own trauma lol. can be intense and intuitive. can be rude without realizing it. not the most expressive. secretive

celebrities:Lana Del Rey,Kylie Jenner,Matt Damon,Adam Levine

𝗠𝗲𝗿𝗰𝘂𝗿𝘆 𝗜𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗡𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗵 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲🌏

highly opinionated. likes socializing. loves to learn & fun facts. independent. sharp & bright. straight forward. might major in things to deal with thinking/writing like journalism. might speak multiple languages. also might major in things that deal with health since mercury rules virgo, so might go to college for medicine and things like that. can lose interest in things fast. bluntness can come off as rude.

celebrities:Rihanna,Mila Kunis,Robert Downey Jr.,Ashton Kutcher

𝗠𝗲𝗿𝗰𝘂𝗿𝘆 𝗜𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗵 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲🪴

motivated. does well with ppl of authority. likes to plan things out. thinks abt their future a lot. might want to be/become a publisher, banker, journalist, etc. might intimidate ppl through conversation. may appear intelligent, and clever. might use logic and not really imagination. might be too opinionated and actually have a controversial reputation. speaks their mind. can be degrading. impulsive.

celebrities:Lady Gaga,Marilyn Monroe,Johnny Depp,Albert Einstein

𝗠𝗲𝗿𝗰𝘂𝗿𝘆 𝗜𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗘𝗹𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗵 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲🪐

open-minded and can understand multiple perspectives. bsf, crushes or friends in general might be geminis or virgos or they might have these placements/mercury energy. might have an unusual sense of humor or opinions. thinks outside the box. might hang out with “nerds” or cliques like that. might goof off too often.

celebrities:Anne Hathaway,Cher,Kanye West,Jimi Hendrix

𝗠𝗲𝗿𝗰𝘂𝗿𝘆 𝗜𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗳𝘁𝗵 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲🍬

might be quiet, especially as a kid. shy, and introverted. uses their imagination. good listeners. thinks of others all the time, and should follow their gut feeling. secretive, and doesn’t open up easily. might be psychic. might’ve been a journalist or something that dealt with writing and talking in the past life. gets distracted easily, and might lose focus during conversations. private. can feel ppls vibes

celebrities:Beyoncé,Madonna,Keanu Reeves,Hugh Grant

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captain039 · 3 years

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A twisted fate

Louis De pointe x reader

Warnings: vampire things!, sexual, intimate, olden times, biting, blood kink, slight angst, idk

Finally watched Interview with the vampire xD oh young brad Pitt 😭

I have a bad obsession with vampires at the moment

You walked around the masters home quickly dusting anything that needed to be dusted. You huffed when you saw no end to it, dust everywhere in this damned house! You put the duster away, deciding to calm yourself before you broke the duster, again.

You heard your masters arrival and perked up as he came through the door drunk again.

“Master Louis” you greeted as he mumbled something of a response. You sighed going to the man and helping him to his chambers.

“The man didn’t even kill me” he whispered as he collapsed on his bed. You frowned at those words about to ask why he said it, but he was out, fast asleep sprawled out. You sighed covering him with the blankets and heading downstairs. You blew most of the candles out and headed to your small room. It was a proper room, the master favouring your work apparently. A nice room by the back door with a view of the yard. A nice bed, a nice cupboard and somewhere to do your hair with a mirror.

You sighed brushing out the knots from the day before staring at yourself a little. You looked away before any bad thoughts could ruin your mind and slipped out of your outfit. You dressed in some sleep wear and shuffled under the covers.

You awoke early as always, helped the other servants with breakfast before taking it up to the masters room. You knocked but didn’t hear an answer. You sighed letting yourself in and seeing him by his desk with his head in his hands.

“Good morning” you said softly knowing his head would be pounding by the drinks he had. You laid down the platter in front of him, his hair was a mess, his colour faded.

“Morning Y/n” he whispered voice still groggy with sleep.

“Eat and drink some water, it’ll lift your mood” you said and left him with the meal. The question was still on your mind of why he said those words last night. You knew he was broken hearted about his wife and young one, he said he would happily join them if he could, but no one would take his offer.

You opened the curtains noticing some servants a little hesitant today. You asked them a few times but they didn’t answer. You gave up and continued your routine for the day before the master finally came out.

“Ah Master Louis” you greeted him along the hall.

“Y/n” he said exhaustion in his voice.

“Perhaps you should go rest sir?” You asked as he stopped by you.

“Later” he waved you off and you sighed shaking your head at him as he left. No doubt he left to find the drink and some warm hands of a woman in the saloon.

You kept the house in check before night fell. You waited for his return however he didn’t come. You grew a little worried, but he was a grown man. You closed the curtains, blew the candles out besides a few leading from the front door to his room and headed to the baths. You cleaned and dressed before heading to your room and getting out your diary. Silly little thing, however it kept you some what sane from thoughts.

You heard someone entering the house and went to check. You saw your master and another man making you frown at the stranger. The left quickly upstairs and you headed back to your room trying to pay no mind to it.

The next morning came and you prepared the table and set up the meals before the master and his new friend came down.

“Good morning master” you greeted. He avoided you though, avoided your eyes making you frown.

“A new friend?” You asked as the man helped himself to a chair.

“Mr Lestat De Lioncourt” he smiled brightly at you and you nodded your head in a greet. You turned back to your master, confused by his distant behaviour and coldness.

You left the men, you heard a few shouts but you tried to pay no mind.

It seems the Mr Lestat was now a resident in the masters home. Though the man was rather loud and energetic and your master was quite and lost in thoughts most days, well nights. He didn’t eat, didn’t drink either, your nerves grew like your worry and a bad feeling settled in your stomach. He was pale too, strange barley visible blue veins on his face, his eyes cold and piercing. You tried to pay no mind, but as you came back seeing no food had been touched you finally spoke. He never went into the sunlight either, the curtains always draped in the dining room or his room.

“Master you haven’t eaten or drunk anything over the last week” you said hushed eyes worried. He finally stared at you and you flinched slightly, his eyes had lost a lot of emotion, they were cold now despite his pained features.

“I’m fine” he managed his eyes trailing down your neck. You frowned a little flushed before glancing to Mr Lestat. What had this man done to him?

You grabbed the plates when suddenly his hand clamped around your wrist. You gasped in surprise and stared at him. He stared at your wrist intently, his grip firm. You glanced to Lestat who held a small smirk on his face making you frown.

“Master Louis?” You questioned gulping.

He moved, mouth clamping down on your wrist and something breaking your skin. You hissed in pain trying to tug your wrist back, but he was too strong.

“Master Louis!” You said a little desperate as your mind ran.

“Louis!” You snapped and he let go. He panted and you held your wrist close, his eyes were wide and frantic.

“I’m sorry” he said as he quickly left the room. Lestat followed suit and you held your bleeding wrist.

You hurried to the kitchen, cleaned the wound before wrapping the puncture wounds up. Servants gave you funny looks, they had been outside most the time, dancing and singing around the fires saying the house was cursed along with its master.

You rushed to your room heart pounding as you closed the door and locked it. You shook a little as you sat by your desk and stared at the rag on your wrist. You pulled it back seeing the puncture wounds, your mind went to silly thoughts, vampires. Supernatural beings cursed to only drink blood and live forever. You wished their wasn’t so much evidence for that thought, Now you even had a bite on you.

You covered the wound back up, tied it off tightly and bit at your nails in thought. Was Lestat a vampire also? Was that what they even were?

It would explain a lot, the paleness, his eyes, no food or drinks, the servants behaviour.

You laid on your bed staring at the ceiling, mind going to fast for you, your heart calmed a little, but you were clutching your wrist.

Was he a vampire?

Next chapter

#x reader #olden times #vampires #Louis de pointe x reader #louis de pointe du lac #interview with the vampire #IWTV #fanfic

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hes-a-rainbow · 4 years

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Simply Meant To Be (Part Two)

Author’s note: I just wanted to say a quick thank you for everyone who took the time to read part one and give me feedback! I’m glad so many of you seem to like the story so far. Enjoy!

P.S. I also changed the names of some of Harry’s close friends/co-workers but it’s really not hard to figure out who I'm talking about. I just feel funny writing about people who are not in the limelight.

Part One

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings: stress, some description of panic/anxiety attack.

“Rue? Rue?!”

“Give her some space!”

“Should I call an ambulance?”

Different voices started to merge together as Rue finally came back to consciousness. She opened her eyes to see Caroline’s bright blue ones staring back at her, “Hey sweetie, think we lost you there for a second.”

“I--,” Rue tried her best to speak but her throat felt bone dry and her head was pounding. She cleared her throat multiple times but her eyes began to water. “Grab her something to drink!” Caroline shouted over Rue’s shoulder. A soft ‘okay’ from Rory followed by the clattering of heavy boots running into the back room of the store met Rue’s ears. Caroline helped her stand up and she turned to look over Caroline’s shoulders and was met with the unfamiliar faces of two strangers and him. Her soulmate.

She raised her left hand again to make sure the mark was still there. It was still red and stung like a new tattoo.

“Hey, look at me.” Caroline's’ voice snapped Rue out of her reverie. “I know this is a shock, but this is the start of the rest of your life. And I’m so happy for you.” Rue could see water forming in her friends’ eye as she comprehended her words. “Okay,” Rue squeaked out.

“Rue.” A voice from behind Caroline spoke and Rue felt a flash of electricity spread through her whole body. He didn’t say her name as a question, or even a statement, but more so as if he was trying to feel the way it felt on his lips. Rue’s brown eyes met with his radiant green ones and she felt a rush of familiarity rush over her.

“H…” She whispered.

“It’s--,” His voice cracked and he cleared his throat as he continued, “It’s Harry.” He took a few steps closer to her, close enough for her to study his face as he studied hers. She found him extremely handsome with his tall, muscular stature and sharp cheekbones. But he also looked so familiar. Like someone she might’ve met in passing. Had they met before? Surely not, because if they had ever come this close before, they would have been marked.

The bleached blonde man besides Harry cleared his throat and elbowed his friend in the side, nodding his head towards Rue. Realization came over Harry and he shook his head a bit to clear it, causing the brown curls on his head to flop about, “Right, sorry,” He held his right hand out towards Rue, “It’s so nice to finally meet you...Rue.” The slight change in the tilt of Harry’s voice sparked Rue with realization, “You’re British?” Harry smirked a bit at her reaction, causing a dimple to form on his cheek, “Uh, yeah.”

She reached out for his hand robotically. When their hands finally clasped together, she felt her heart skip a beat, just like the books had said. Maybe not skip a beat per say but more the feeling of getting sucker punched right in the chest. Both Harry and Rue released gasps of air at the same time. The two soulmates stared at each other, in the middle of the music store in between the guitars that aligned the wall behind Rue and the rows of sheet music that stood behind Harry, hands still moving slightly as if to mimic shaking.

God knows how long they both stood there with dumbstruck smiles on their faces. She thought about this moment for years, she had asked Caroline nearly a thousand times to repeat the story of how she met Talia. Rue imagined a million times over exactly how she would feel in this moment. She expected pure joy, tears of happiness, a kiss from the person who was literally made specifically for her. But in reality she only felt lost, confused, and even a bit scared. What if the person she made up in her head was nothing like this man, this Harry? What if he was rude to her or didn’t think she was attractive or--

Stop being ridiculous, Her conscious spat back, He will love everything about you, just as you will with him. You are two halves to one soul. You are simply meant to be.

But the lingering fear still twisted in her stomach and she was happy she hadn’t eaten since lunch because she was sure if she ate dinner beforehand it would have just been making its reappearance.

The sharp piercing sound of a phone ringing broke the silence that seemed to be uncomfortable to everyone but the two. Rue’s hand retracted from Harry’s and slid back into the warmth of her winter coat as she remembered exactly where she was and saw the giddy smile adorning Caroline’s face. “It’s John,” the long dark haired lanky man who stood next to Harry announced. Rue saw Harry’s expression turn to fear, then back to neutral before he turned to his friend, “I’ll talk to him later.” He spoke casually but his tone held a deeper meaning. The other man he was with silenced his phone and slipped it back in his pocket. Harry turned to look back at Rue, another smile forming on his lips.

Caroline cleared her throat besides Rue causing the two soulmates to jump a bit at the interruption, “And I’m Caroline!” She held her hand out to Harry, who took it politely and smiled, “Pleasure to meet you, Caroline. This is Tim,” Harry pointed over his left shoulder at the older blonde man beside him who gave a small wave to the two girls, “And Matt.” Harry threw his thumb over his other shoulder to reference the other brunette man with him. A small “Hi” slipped out of Matt whose eyes continued to dart between Harry and Rue almost as if he was waiting for something. Rue’s eyes narrowed at Matt before turning back to Harry, who was already looking at her. She felt a warmth spread throughout her body and a sense of comfort she had never experienced before.

“I didn’t have any water but I do have some Tito’s left over from the Christmas party last year!” Rory ran back into the room with a half empty glass bottle of vodka raised over his head. His eyes darted towards everyone in the store as he tried to read the room, “Everyone’s good now?”

“Everyone’s good now.” Caroline replied as she gave him a look as if to say, now be cool. He lowered the vodka bottle and approached the small group standing in the middle of his store. He wrapped his arm around Rue’s shoulder and Rue caught Harry’s expression sour for just a second. “Can’t believe our little kangaroo has finally been matched!” Rory pulled her in for a half assed side hug, “And to Harry Styles’ nonetheless!” Rue’s head snapped to look at Rory, then Caroline, and finally settled on Harry whose whole body seemed to stiffen as he heard his full name.

Rue felt stupid, incredibly dumb even for not placing the face to the name right away. She knew who Harry Styles was, even had a few songs of his on her phone, but never in a million years had she thought she would actually meet him, let alone be his soulmate.

“The singer?” Rue asked Harry but it was Rory who answered, “Yeah! You really didn’t realize?”

Her Harry just happened to be one of the most famous and sought after people in the entire world. She felt her body becoming warm again, the hairs on the back of her neck rising. She remembered a time back in high school when a group of her friends chatted about what they imagined their soulmates’ would be like. One of her friends had basically described Nick Jonas and was met with thundering laughter. “What? He has to be matched with someone! It definitely wouldn’t be the first time a celebrity matched with someone normal!” The group looked at her as if she had grown two heads, “And isn’t it like everybody’s dream to be matched with a celebrity?” Some of the girls shook their heads no while others agreed but Rue remembered how she spoke up, “I would hate to be matched with someone famous.” Her friends’ rolled their eyes but she only continued, “I’m serious! All I'll ever be known for is belonging to them. No one will ever see me as me again, they will only see me as the girl who is so and so’s soulmate. I couldn’t imagine living in someone’s shadow my entire life.”

“So you’re telling me if you matched up with Brad Pitt, you wouldn’t be happy?”

“That’s not what I’m saying. Of course I would be ecstatic to even be matched, I just always imagined it would be with someone...normal.”

Rue hadn’t thought about that conversation for years now, didn’t even speak with those girls anymore (but knew for a fact her friend was not actually Nick Jonas’ soulmate when he was publicly matched a few years later to another actress) but now it had come back to haunt her. She would never be just Rue again, the girl who had no idea what she was doing in life, who worked as a receptionist at a tiny law firm in lower Manhattan, who wanted to travel the world but in reality had never been on a plane flight longer than six hours, she would only ever be known as Harry Styles’ soulmate.

Her stomach started to flip again and this time it wasn’t out of joy and excitement.

Rue spoke to Harry without making direct eye contact, “I--I’m sorry I didn’t realize--”

“It’s okay,” He responded immediately sensing the nervousness in her tone. He could see her confidence fading away right before his eyes.

“I thought you looked familiar but I never placed--”

“It’s fine. Really.” He gave her what he thought was a comforting smile but she immediately looked down at her old leather boots. She could feel the burning sensation of tears start in the back of her eyes. Please don’t do this, please don’t cry in front of him, she begged herself silently in her head but it only made the waterworks come faster.

How could this be? She was nothing like him. He probably dined with rockstars while she sat cross legged on her old couch she found on the side of the road while eating day old pasta. She had seen enough about him to know that he went through relationships left and right. Every time he was seen with someone new, the speculation of ‘were they the one?’ running wild in the tabloids. It was the main reason celebrities and people in the spotlight wore rings on their left ring fingers, to hide from the media and news outlets alike if they had met their soulmate or not. This had to have been a mistake, a twist of fade that landed completely off the mark. Surely there had been people matched by accident before, right?

Nobody moved as Rue struggled with her inner turmoil.

“Hey, are you--” Harry reached out to touch her arm but she jumped back and out of his reach and away from Rory’s hold. She needed to be alone right now and actually figure out exactly what this meant for her. She started to wrap her scarf back around her neck tightly. Still not meeting anyone’s eyes, she spoke towards the dirty carpet that lined the store, “It was nice meeting you,” She could see Harry move closer to her, as well as Caroline, but she continued to back away and towards the door.

“Rue…” Caroline called for her friend as she saw the slight quiver in her lip that was the tell tale sign her tears were about to fall.

“I’m sorry but I just--I have to go.” Rue turned fast and leaned all her weight on the door. Her face was met with a harsh cold wind that only made her eyes water even more. She moved faster as she heard the door ringing again behind her, indicating that someone had walked out after her. Please don’t let it be him, please don’t let it be him.

She heard her name being called out by multiple voices, all of which she now knew and could identify, but she only picked up into a slight jog and prayed that the sidewalk wasn’t icy.

“Wait! Please!” She was coming up the end of the street and through her blurry vision she could see the pixelated hand appearing and disappearing ahead of her, indicating only five seconds left until the street light turned green. She was never one to be athletic but she swore she ran as fast as Usain Bolt as she sprinted across the crosswalk. She heard a car honk behind her and a heavy Brooklyn accent scream out, “Fuck off, pretty boy!” but it didn’t slow her down.

She was only one block away from her apartment now. Her lungs burned as she breathed in the cold air. She had made this walk hundreds of times before and knew how to get back home with her eyes closed, which came in handy because the mixture of her tears and the harsh winter winds caused her to only see blurs and blobs where people stood. Her ears started to ring as she neared her block, she could see the lobby door from here.

She peaked over her shoulder and didn’t see anyone running behind her but didn’t stall her speed until she rushed into the lobby. The night security guard, Jerry, gave her a weird look as she hauled up the stairs five flights to her apartment. She only stopped for a split second to open her purse and grab her keys, hands shaking as she slipped it into the lock and opened the door. She opened it just enough for her to slide in and quickly slammed it shut, locking and bolting the door because she knew Caroline would show up in a matter of minutes.

She laid her hands on her knees as she bent over to try to catch her breath. She just needed to be alone and try to gather her thoughts before speaking with Harry again. She just needed a few more minutes of being Rue before she turned into only his.

Thank you for reading! Again, feedback is greatly appreciated. Don’t forget to like and share!

#harry styles one shot #harry styles #harry styles au #harry styles oneshot #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles blurb #harry styles drabble #love on tour #hslot #tpwk #soulmates au #soulmate!harrystyles #soulmate!harry au #simply meant to be

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Globe, April 12

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Brad Pitt Blindsided by Abuse Bombshell

Page 2: Up Front & Personal -- former Vanderpump Rules hunk Jax Taylor hauling trash outside his L.A. home, tennis star Venus Williams had some courtside cuddles with her pet pup in Miami, sitcom star turned pot peddler Jim Belushi during a spin around Santa Monica

Page 3: Chrissy Metz runs errands in L.A., David Hasselhoff with his wife Hayley Roberts in Calabasas, Lena Headey buzzed around in L.A. on an electric bike

Page 4: Toxic TV talker Ellen DeGeneres is trapped in a tragic tailspin, belting back booze while struggling to get a grip on her fading career and rocky marriage -- after losing 1 million viewers this year alone, Ellen's once high-flying show is on thin ice and she's fighting with wife Portia de Rossi amid talks of a $300 million divorce -- her ratings are tanking, and her marriage is coming apart at the seams and she's knocking back the red wine to drown her sorrows -- her strategy is to let the storm about her talk show die down and then pull in some huge guest stars to win back her audience and reestablish herself as top dog on the talk show circuit -- at the same time, her 12-year marriage to Portia has been hanging by a thread and the two had been at loggerheads after serial house-flipper Ellen put the estate she bought from Maroon 5's Adam Levine on the market for $53.5 million and Portia thought it was finally going to be their forever home and it was like pulling the rug out from under her -- then another crisis struck home as Ellen rushed Portia to the hospital after she collapsed and Portia underwent an emergency appendectomy and is now recuperating but her spouse is a mess over Portia's health crisis and she's been drowning her sorrows in booze -- Ellen realizes much more than ever how much she desperately loves Portia and what she's got to lose if they split but she also knows it's be a lot of work to get the relationship back on track once Portia recovers

Page 5: Chevy Chase secretly cheated death after a secret heart condition landed him in the hospital for five long weeks and now he may never be out of the woods -- the 77-year-old, who is now recovering at his Westchester, N.Y. home, recently revealed the heart issue snuck up on him -- Chevy needed valve replacement surgery, and recovering boozer Chevy's long history of swilling alcohol had left him with an enlarged heart and acute cardiomyopathy, a disease that makes it harder for the organ to pump blood to the rest of his body and his heart problems stems from his years of drinking plain and simple and it's affected his heart, weakened it over the years -- however, before risky surgery could be performed, docs needed to make sure the comedian was stable enough for the procedure -- in 2017, Chevy claimed he'd finally gotten sober after one of his daughters said she gave up on him and his wife Jayni threatened to leave him if he didn't clean up his act but it may be too little too late for the comedy legend because valve replacement surgery could affect his activities for the rest of his life and it means his heart was pumping through an ineffective valve, and this damages heart muscles, which never grow back and he could have ongoing chest pains or dangerous heart rhythm disturbances, which could lead to heart attack or death

Page 6: Dr. Dre's estranged wife, Nicole Young, claims the rap mogul knocked her out cold in a drunken rage -- it's the latest bombshell in the couple's brutal divorce war, with Nicole making the explosive charge in an application for a restraining order that was denied by a judge and she also alleges Dre punched her squarely in the face after he felt she disrespected him at a party in 1999 and Nicole claims she woke up in their car with Andre speeding at over 100 miles per hour, drunk and out of control and he was swerving and weaving and she thought she was going to die and she also claims a drunk and angry Dre held a gun to her head during a 2012 dispute, saying she was terrified he was going to kill her -- Dre has denied all of Nicole's abuse claims

* In a desperate bid to save their crumbling romance, Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez are seeing a sex therapist to spice up their fizzling bedroom romps -- the duo called off their wedding plans after a stormy four-year affair and are on the brink of the end -- A-Rod staved off a break at the last minute by dashing down to the Dominican Republic, where J.Lo's filming her new flick and patching things up for the moment -- the biggest issue has been Alex's roving eye plus sexting various women on the side, and Jennifer wants to get to the bottom of why she's not enough for him

Page 7: Jeopardy! contestants want celeb medic Dr. Mehmet Oz axed as guest host -- casting the dubious doc celebrates the elevation of talking heads at the expense of academic rigor and consensus, according to a group of the game show's former winners and contestants in a letter -- the letter cites instances in which Dr. Oz used his authority as a doctor to push harmful ideas, and referred to a 2014 letter penned by faculty at Columbia Medical School, where Oz also teaches, calling for his removal from the program and the letter concludes inviting Oz to guest host is a slap in the face to all involved

Page 8: Jeffrey Epstein's accused madam Ghislaine Maxwell's third desperate bid to get out of jail on bail has been nixed by a federal judge -- the 59-year-old British socialite it rotting in a Brooklyn, N.Y. federal slammer denying charges she recruited underage girls to be sex slaves for her late lover Epstein, whose 2019 death in his jail cell is suspected on being a staged murder, despite an official ruling of suicide -- Maxwell's offer to plunk down $22.5 million and give up her citizenships in England and France was nixed by Judge Alison Nathan, who agreed with prosecutors the suspected Israeli intelligence asset was still a flight risk -- meanwhile, Ghislaine's lawyers claim she was abused by a guard and is losing hair and weight due to poor treatment in the slammer, where she's awaiting a July trail date

Page 9: Billionaire Queen Elizabeth is bracing for a big pay cut -- due to the financial crash triggered by the COVID pandemic, the Sovereign Grant, the tax money allowance the royals get, is expected to be slashed by more than 25 percent when it comes up for its five-year renewal in 2022 -- last year, Her Highness raked in $114.2 million from taxpayers, but that bundle was exceptional and cannot expect that to be repeated -- a major cost, besides allowances for the royal family, is a renovation of Buckingham Palace, which prices out at $500 million over 10 years -- one saving is Prince Harry and wife Meghan Markle have been stripped of their titles and public paychecks -- Her Majesty is aware of the current financial situation and is happy to play her part in cutting costs

* Prince Harry has landed a job as a hot-shot exec of a firm providing mental health and life counseling but it sounds like the tech start-up company is really using him as a celebrity showhorse -- Harry, who studied art and geography in college, will be Chief Impact Officer for BetterUp Inc, saying he intends to help create impact in people's lives -- BetterUp CEO Alexi Robichaux refused to say how much he's paying the prince, but noted Harry will have a meaningful and meaty role and will attend all employee meetings at the San Francisco headquarters and Robichaux also hinted at Harry's true value, saying he'll be a special guest at company events; in other words, the company will use him as a celebrity draw and they'll lure potential clients and investors to events by saying they can run shoulders with the prince and Harry has no psychology training; he will be a showpiece -- Harry first hooked up with BetterUp by using its app that gives proactive coaching and provides endless possibilities for personal development, increased awareness and an all-around better life and Harry says he was matched with his coach who is truly awesome and has always given him sound advice and a fresh perspective, which is so valuable

Page 10: Lisa Marie Presley is getting back on track after her son Benjamin Keough's tragic suicide and bitter divorce from Michael Lockwood, but she's still a hopeless addict -- Elvis Presley's 53-year-old daughter smokes like a chimney from morning until night and is struggling for every breath and she goes through a pack or two a day minimum and she simply can't quit and she has cut out triggers like booze and coffee, but she still needs her cigarette fix from the moment she wakes up until she puts her head down at night -- she was snapped having a smoke outside a COVID-19 testing center in L.A.'s San Fernando Valley and it was the only time she was spotted in public since her son died in July -- she started smoking at age 15 and has admitted this is the one thing that got her and bit her in the ass that she can't shake even those she's kicked pain pills, cocaine, booze and opioids and she's tried everything she can think of to quit: patches, nicotine gum, going cold turkey, but nothing works and she did stop for a spell after being hypnotized but a day or two later she was lighting up again -- she's losing weight, exercising more and eating healthier, but her smoking habit is the elephant in the room

Page 11: Following the heart-crushing suicide of her brother, Elvis Presley's granddaughter Riley Keough has become a death doula, a counselor who helps terminal patients and their cope with the devastating trauma -- Riley announced she'd completed her training on social media -- the daughter of Lisa Marie Presley and her first husband Danny Keough, Riley was devastated when her brother Benjamin Keough committed suicide with a shotgun last July -- spurred by the tragedy to become a death doula, Riley says she thinks it's so important to be educated on conscious dying and death the way we educate ourselves on birth and conscious birthing

* Reality TV train wreck Mama June Shannon claims she and her boyfriend Geno Doak spent $900,000 in a year to feed their drug addiction and the couple were spending $2500 a day, if not more, on methamphetamine -- June entered rehab with $1.75 in her pocket and they've been clean 14 months

Page 12: Celebrity Buzz -- reformed boozer Luann de Lesseps sips a soft drink in Mexico (picture), Real World star Rebecca Blasband believes she had an otherwordly 15-year beyond-the-grave relationship with Beatles legend John Lennon's ghost, in Australia a not so itsy bitsy spider bite turned into a giant wallop of a headache for Melissa McCarthy, Ilana Glazer and husband David Rooklin are happily expecting their first baby ironically right before of her horror movie False Positive, Sarah Silverman says no one ever told her not to use tongue in screen kisses and it got her fired from a show called Pride & Joy

Page 13: Al Pacino gets all gussied up in Italy to play fashion godfather Aldo in the biopic House of Gucci (picture), Justine Bateman (picture), Tom Selleck covers up his signature 'stache with a mask in L.A. (picture), first-time mama Katharine McPhee hit a sour note with composer husband David Foster for blabbing their newborn son's name Rennie David Foster on Today

Page 14: Rihanna plunked down $13.8 million for a new Beverly Hills mountaintop mansion that's literally surrounded by noteworthy neighbors like Paul McCartney and Mariah Carey and Madonna who live in the same exclusive star-studded cul-de-sac, Tom Cruise is on a mission to unload his Rocky Mountain getaway for $39.5 million, Goldie Hawn gushes her life partner Kurt Russell is still hot as heck after turning 70

* Fashion Verdict -- Miranda Lambert 4/10, Taylor Swift 5/10, Phoebe Bridgers 1/10, Giuliana Rancic 7/10, Brandi Carlile 6/10

Page 16: Cover Story -- Angelina Jolie is determined to paint her ex Brad Pitt as an abusive, drunken monster, and now she's got their kids backing her claim that he's the dad from hell -- the mom of six, who's been battling Brad in court over custody and money for five years, filed new bombshell papers saying she and her children want to testify their life was the pits -- while the documents are sealed, Angelina is making sure their kids paint Brad as violent and aggressive and her shocking charges continue earlier accusations by oldest child Maddox, now 19 and in college, who accused a booze-fueled Brad of abusing him on a private flight five years ago and Maddox essentially painted his dad as a demented monster and he went into detail about Brad's terrible temper, the abuse he inflicted on the whole household with his binge drinking and the scars that exist to this day because of the appalling way he alleges Brad treated his mom during the marriage -- Brad has reportedly been sober for years and Angelina's new claims of domestic abuse are basically a rehash of the old accusations -- legal experts also maintain the minor kids can only testify if Brad agrees to it, which is doubtful -- the superstars have spent a combined $10 million in legal fees and are currently battling over visitation rights for their brood and Angelina has refused to compromise, wants full custody and calls it a fight to the death and she doesn't care about Brad or how anybody sees their fight, she just wants what she feels she is entitled to as a mother and will fight with every inch of her body and soul to get it

Page 19: 10 Things You Don't Know About Topher Grace

* Katherine Heigl boasts she's bionic after having two titanium disks inserted into her neck and the actress says the surgery has freed her from the most excruciating pain

* Wendy Williams broke wind in a stunning fart-burp combo while she was live on camera, right in the middle to discussing Kim Kardashian's divorce from Kanye West -- the gassy lassie seemed surprised at her own outburst and apologized to the audience

Page 20: True Crime

Page 23: William Shatner is creating an artificial intelligence-powered version of himself -- in true sci-fi fashion, people in the future will be able to ask him questions about his life and times -- the 90-year-old icon is the first person to be captured by an advanced video and sound system developed by the L.A.-based company StoryFile -- Shatner says with StoryFile, we can now be present for the future; your authentic self, for all time

* Furious perfume mogul William Lauder is battling to kick his former mistress Taylor Stein and their 13-year-old love child out of her home and into the street, because their supposedly secret love affair was revealed -- the big stink exploded after the 60-year-old Estee Lauder heir learned his secret teen daughter wrote on social media that her parents were divorced but actually, Lauder never wed Taylor, but kept her like a queen in a $7 million, 6000-square-foot Bel Air mansion with a $1 million annual allowance for years and the only condition was that she keep their affair and the child under wraps, but the Park Avenue playboy claims she blasted their pact to smithereens when his illicit daughter blabbed about the relationship online -- Lauder hooked up with Taylor in Aspen in 2000 while still wed to wife Karen, mom of three of his daughters -- he knocked Taylor up in 2005, but told her to get an abortion because he was then in the midst of divorcing Karen but three years before the 2009 divorce, Taylor got pregnant again and gave birth to their girl and that's when the moneybags lover boy drew up the hush-hush deal

Page 24: COVID vaccines hidden dangers -- scientists warn shots don't work and have nightmare side effects

Page 27: Gal rock roadie Tana Douglas is snitching on music superstars including George Harrison and Iggy Pop, who she got close to during her wild years traveling with bands -- in her book called Loud, she recalls her job hauling equipment for bands nearly ended at age 21 when Beatle George Harrison was ready to propose, but she blew it; the two were getting close under a kitchen table after George fled his own birthday party, where he was embarrassed by his present: strippers and she ruined the mood by firing up a cigarette and George told her he would marry her tomorrow if she gave up smoking but the first female rock roadie couldn't kick butts -- she has crazy stories about saving AC/DC's frontman Bon Scott when he overdosed, Elton John who did drugs and threw tantrums, The Go-Gos, and doing a line of coke with Iggy Pop intended for David Bowie

Page 28: Health Report

Page 30: Julianne Hough has plumped up her kisser, and her new look falls flat -- the newly single star may have gone overboard with lip fillers to the point where she's almost unrecognizable -- Julianne's had some surgical and nonsurgical things done, but her lips just look wonky and no one can understand why she'd do it because her lips looked fine to her friends and family, but Julianne obviously thought they needed more volume and clearly got carried away -- she's also totally gone overboard with the spray tanning and hair extensions and she ditched the short blond bob that suited her so well and now she's looking like a Kardashian -- her lips look a bit swollen, so it's possible they will settle down and her natural lip proportions appear to have changed, with her upper lip the same size as her lower lip

Page 32: Tori Spelling has got the marriage blues and she's been out and about without her wedding ring -- the 47-year-old mom of five was spotted buying veggies at Underwood Family Farms in California's Moorpark with her kids but minus husband Dean McDermott and her wedding ring -- Tori's fed up with her mate, whining he's not doing his share around the house or paying her enough attention and they've found themselves in a real rut where they spend less and less time together and barely mention one another on social media and they haven't had a date night since goodness knows and Dean is never in the romantic mood and lately, they're more like brother and sister than husband and wife -- Tori wants Dean to step it up and start acting like a hubby instead of a leach and Tori's exhausting herself by taking care of the domestic chores single-handedly at times while Dean has other things on his mind and he hasn't picked up a vacuum or washed the dishes in weeks and sometimes he doesn't seem to be aware she's in the room and it's frustrating her to no end -- ditching her ring is sending Dean a very clear message that he needs to stop taking her for granted and work on the marriage

* Paul McCartney dove deep into his Beatles past and emerged with a children's book inspired by the group's 1966 hit Yellow Submarine -- Grandude's Green Submarine, a sequel to Paul's picture book Hey Grandude, will be released in September and changes the color of the submerged vessel

Page 36: Reality TV momager Kris Jenner is worth an estimated $190 million and masterminded the megabucks careers of her reality star daughters, but she confesses she was clueless about dough when she became divorced -- Kris confesses first husband Robert Kardashian handled everything and she never paid a bill during their 13-year marriage that ended in 1991 -- she said she woke up to responsibilities that she didn't have the day before but she says she's a quick study and she knew she had to get it together and she felt such an enormous sense of accomplishment to be able to figure it all out and pay her own bills and make her own money and do her own taxes and there were times when she didn't have a lot of money, but she was very organized -- now she studies business for new opportunities and she's interested in different businesses and how they evolve and how they become successful and she just enjoys the business world

* Bobby Brown's son Bobby Jr. died after accidentally overdosing on a killer cocktail of alcohol, cocaine and fentanyl, his autopsy reveals, but lawmen say they are now opening a criminal investigation into the 27-year-old's death at his father's home in suburban L.A. -- the autopsy report showed in his final hours Bobby Jr. consumed a deadly mix of tequila, cocaine and the prescription medication Percocet -- he was Brown's second child with former galpal Kim Ward

Page 38: Long-lost letters written by Nazi dictator Adolf Hitler's father, Alois, reveal the freaky Fuhrer grew up to be a cruel, tyrannical, arrogant lout, just like his old man -- the 31 letters were discovered by retiree Anneliese Smigielski in the attic of her house in the Austrian town of Wallern and are the basis of a new book by historian Roman Sandgruber -- penned to Anneliese's great-great-great-grandfather Joseph Radlegger, who sold retired customs official Alois a farm when future Nazi monster Adolf was six in 1895, the letters reveal Hitler's dad was a brutal boozer and boss of the house, but depended on the skills and money of his third wife, Klara, a former servant girl the cheating creep had seduced and wine-guzzling Alois was awfully rough with her and beat little Adolf and the other eight kids -- like his father, Adolf felt superior through the knowledge he had acquired in self-study and he saw himself as a military, technical and artistic genius, not only as a painter, but also as an architect, writer, composer and actor

Page 40: Bethenny Frankel is sporting an engagement ring from fiance Paul Bernon -- the three-stone ring features a huge eight- to ten-carat emerald-shaped center stone and if it's a real, natural diamond, its estimated value is up to $1 million

* Gwyneth Paltrow just babbled something her second husband, Brad Falchuk, probably doesn't want to hear: she never wanted to get divorced from Chris Martin but she wed Brad in 2018 and Gwyneth calls him the most amazing man adding they've built something that she's never had before

* Suzanne Somers brags she and husband Alan Hamel are having sizzling sex three times a day before noon -- she blames doses of hormones for their frisky urges in their golden years

* Klutzy comic Chelsea Handler jokes about her subpar skiing skills online, but later revealed she wrecked her knee and broke two toes after she flew into the trees on a snowy slope in Canada -- Chelsea confesses she took the terrible tumble in British Columbia, where she was training with a personal instructor

Page 41: Vin Diesel's son Vincent is learning it's a good career move to have a movie star dad -- the 10-year-old has landed a $1000-a-day role in his father's new Fast and Furious flick -- the kid plays the younger version of Vin's character Dominic Toretto in the already completed, ninth F&F film -- Vincent's mom is Vin's longtime galpal, Mexican model Paloma Jimenez, who also has two daughters with Vin -- unlike his dad's megabucks salary, Vincent got the basic $1005 daily rate

* The faith-based Duggar family of 19 Kids and Counting fame is still feuding after a sleazy sex scandal ripped them apart -- Jill Duggar Dillard, who's outed herself as one of four sisters molested by big brother Josh Duggar, reveals she hasn't visited her parents' home in years -- Jill and husband Derick Dillard, say they aren't allowed at Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar's Big House without her father's permission and Jill reveals there's some restrictions but also they just feel like they have to prioritize their mental and emotional health -- TLC axed the family's show after Josh was exposed as a child molester and in the past, Jill's admitted she's not on the best terms with some of her family

Page 42: Kim Kardashian has been getting back in touch with her body big-time now that she has booted Kanye West from her bedroom and her life and she's been strolling around totally nude -- with the pair's six-year marriage officially kaput, Kim is gleefully letting it all hang out, while indulging in once-forbidden McDonald's french fries -- Kanye made a habit of telling Kim to cover up and picked her to pieces for wearing sexy outfits and he said she needed to class up her act and grow old gracefully but now she's free to express herself and a lot of the time, especially when Kanye's looking after the kids, she's walking around totally in the nude and it's liberating for her to be at one with her body and she's made no secret of her desire to pursue a racy image and right now Kim's priority is to get her mojo back and learn to love herself again physically

* Britney Spears confesses she's been so wrapped up in battling the conservatorship over her estate, she forgot about singing until her mom reminded her -- the singer hasn't cut an album for five years as she's battled dad Jamie Spears for control of her $60 million fortune after a court gave him control when she went bonkers in 2008 -- she now realizes she's neglected her career after mom Lynne Spears sent her a video of her signing You Got It All at a '90s concert in Singapore and Britney tweeted that her mom reminded her that she can sing and she never sings anymore

Page 44: Straight Talk -- Cradle-robbing Scott Disick has struck again, scooping up a new galpal half of his 37 years, who is barely out of high school -- the latest victim is Amelia Hamlin, 19 years old and daughter of Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin

Page 45: Sharon Osbourne is demanding at least $10 million to walk away from The Talk after being accused of racist and sexist attacks on co-hosts -- Sharon is playing hardball, saying she was wrongly vilified for branding lesbian co-star Sara Gilbert a fish eater and calling Chinese-American Julie Chen slanty eyes -- it's going to become a battle royale and Sharon's made her demands clear and will fight tooth and nail and she's a street fighter and is used to playing down and dirty, owing to her years as a hard-nosed rock manager for husband Ozzy Osbourne

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sodalitefully · 4 years

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Enter freely and of your own will [GNR, Sluff AU]

I know, I know, I've written vampire AUs before… Several times. But I had to write something about what a nerd Slash is for vampire fiction! Mostly inspired by interviews Slash gave after gnr covered Sympathy For The Devil for Interview With A Vampire (so any digs at the movie adaptation are based on Slash’s opinion, not mine – I’ve never seen it!). Occasional mentions of blood and stuff, but not particularly graphic. This fic is expanding on an AU I originally drew here.

~~~~

In my mind, it all played out like the plot of a paranormal romance novel. I’ve gotten familiar with those lately, thanks to the collection hidden in the bottom shelves of Slash’s library, buried below the gothic horror classics, the crime thrillers, and about a mountain of nonfiction. Hell, I could probably write my own! “Tall blonde unexpectedly falls for rock and roll bad boy with a dark secret,” yeah, the readers would eat that up. Of course, our love story didn’t really start when the unsuspecting protagonist moved to a new city, or when the leather-clad love interest showed off his supernatural shredding skills. No, I’d say it started a couple years later, when I found out Slash’s other deep, dark, embarrassing secret.

It wasn’t a dark and stormy night… but it was a movie night at my place, a tradition for Slash and I. Whenever we needed a break from the so-called rockstar lifestyle, we’d get together for a night in, smoke some pot and put on a movie. Slash laid back on my couch while I dug through a cabinet packed with VHS tapes and listed off a few options:

“Let’s see, we have Jurassic Park, Alien, Interview With a Vampire – Uh, sorry, I guess that would be weird huh?” Slash made a sour face.

“Ugh. I hate that movie, it’s such a bad adaptation. Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt, seriously?”

“Wait,” I dropped The Empire Strikes Back and Blazing Saddles onto the growing heap of tapes and sat back on my heels to look at Slash in surprise. "You’ve seen it before?”

“Uh…” Vampires may not be able to blush but I'd known Slash long enough to tell when he’s flustered.

“And you’ve read the book?”

“… Yes?” I laughed, Slash ducked and hid his face, obviously feeling self-conscious, but I didn’t mean to laugh at him. It was just…

I’d assumed that a real-life vampire would roll their eyes at the cliche, over-romanticized movie interpretations of their kind. Instead, I learned of Slash’s (nearly) indiscriminate love for all things vampire, anything from Carmilla to Buffy The Vampire Slayer. He was a sucker (hah, get it?) for dripping fangs, swishing capes, even those crazy accents, ever since he was a kid. And I can’t lie, it was pretty endearing. I wasn’t in love with him yet, but the more he told me about his obsession, the more warm and tingly I felt, charmed by how genuine he was – Hell, I barely even teased him about it! Somehow, that conversation felt even more personal than finding out he was a damn vampire. I was really touched that he felt comfortable sharing his interests with me, that he trusted me with his softer, nerdier, more romantic side.

I resisted the temptation to press for more details that night, but a month or so later, I caught him in the act! I remember waking up in the afternoon after crashing at his place so late it was early the night before. I wandered around his big, spooky house until I found Slash curled up in one of his fancy antique armchairs, his legs dangling over the armrest and a paperback book cradled in his lap. I couldn’t make out the curlicued script on the cover, but from the captivated look on his face it was a favorite – his eyes were bright as they darted across the page, and his lips curled into a warm, gentle smile.

I couldn’t stand to disturb him, so I snuck off before he noticed me in the doorway, and headed down the hall to the room he’d transformed into a tiny library – The man had a library in his house; between that and the subtly gothic decor it was hard to believe I never noticed that Slash was playing up the vampire aesthetic, consciously or not! Anyway, I poked around until I found where he hid his collection of vampire lit, and snatched a few that were, shall we say, not quite as acclaimed as Dracula or even The Vampire Chronicles. I don’t remember the titles, but there were a couple paperback romances and a horror novel with a badass-looking dude on the cover.

I had to see what all the fuss was about, you know? Yeah, this kind of thing wasn’t exactly up my alley, but Slash usually had good taste, so I figured it couldn’t hurt to check it out. Plus, if it was important to Slash, I wanted to know about it! And not just the well-known classics either; I wanted the guilty pleasures, I wanted to see what it was that could make Slash smile like that when no one was watching.

I’ll be honest, it wasn’t bad. I wasn’t a big reader at the time, but I raced through the horror novel in just two days, and trust me, I barely slept the night in between! The trashy romance was more enjoyable than I would ever admit; even with all the cliches and melodrama there was something compelling about unraveling the tangled web of forbidden love in a world full of the supernatural.

At this point, I was very cautiously beginning to entertain the idea that I might see Slash as more than just a buddy and a bandmate. As friends, were were closer than ever, hardly spent a day apart, and I was beginning to notice things that I hadn’t noticed before. Things like the way he always smiled at my lame jokes, the way he leaned on my shoulder when he was pretending to be drunk, the way he tossed his hair on stage… And I couldn’t help wondering whether Slash identified more with the heroine or the love interest. Did he want to be the cool, mysterious vampire lover, or the unsuspecting protagonist who gets drawn into an alluring new world?

I got my answer a couple months later, in town again after a leg on the road. It was a steaming hot summer day back in L.A., and Slash was dozing on his couch. This wasn’t unusual in and of itself, Slash’s sleep schedule had been fucked for as long as I'd known him. No, what made this instance significant was that I was also on the couch, reclined with my feet over the armrest and Slash draped across my chest. Tales From The Crypt played at a murmur on a brand-new TV set, but I wasn’t paying any attention.

See, at this point I’d recently learned that, when Slash focused hard enough, he could hear a living person’s blood pulsing in their veins and detect changes in body temperature. And that had me wondering: Could he tell that my heart beat faster when he leaned against me on stage? Could he tell that my ears got warm every time he turned a smile my way?

Could he tell how much I was affected by his weight on top of me?

He was like a huge cat in my lap, relaxed from head to toe. If you paid attention, you could tell that he was breathing more slowly that an ordinary human should be and his bare skin was slightly cool. Other than that he looked completely normal… Except for his teeth. His mouth was slightly open, allowing his pointed, knife-sharp teeth to scrape against his lower lip.

To Slash’s chagrin, they weren't gleaming white, perfectly straight fangs; instead they more closely resembled a shark’s jaw, crowded with small flesh-tearing blades. It was rare to see them exposed, Slash was careful to limit himself to tight-lipped smiles and mumbled dialogue whenever his secret was at risk. Even in private he was self-conscious about it, and I considered myself lucky when he grinned openly in my presence.

“Hey, Slash?”

“…Hmm?” Languidly, he shifted until he was looking up at me. Midafternoon sun leaked through the blinds brightly enough for me to make out a hint of red in his eyes, the other (un)dead giveaway that was usually obscured by his sedately lidded gaze.

"You know how you said the other day that you have really strong senses? Well... I was wondering what other, uh, non-human traits you have. How true are the myths about vampires, really?”

“Well… Hm. My eyes are pretty sensitive to daylight. And technically I’m nocturnal. But I don’t have fangs, I don’t really look like a vampire and I don’t have superpowers.” I swear to god, he pouted a little. "All things considered I didn’t really get any of the cool stuff."

“No super-strength? Or mind reading? Can you shapeshift into a bat?”

“Don’t you think I’d tell you if I could turn into a bat? At least I don’t have any of those stupid weaknesses, I can be in the sun and eat garlic and whatever.” He paused ponderously. “…You know, I might be immortal, I was around a long time before Tony and Ola took me in. Guess I’ll find out in a few decades.”

“That would be pretty cool.”

“Yeah, maybe."

“So... do you enthrall your victims?” I prodded, in a spooky, menacing voice belied by my goofy grin.

Slash snorted a laugh and shook his head at my antics. “No, I can’t do that either. Well, I don’t know, do you feel enthralled?”

I laughed awkwardly and counted my blessings when Slash didn't notice that my unspoken answer was an empathetic Yes.

Slash chuckled with me, then sighed. “Fuck, I wish vampires like that were real, though…” he confessed softly.

“Like what?”

“You know, badass, seductive, awesome powers…” He waved a hand toward a pinup poster on the wall with a corset and fangs, then let his head fall back to my chest. He mumbled into my shirt, “Is it really so much to ask for a sexy vampire to come and sweep me off my feet?”

“Slash, I hate to tell you this, but…” I couldn’t make it through the sentence with a straight face.

He swatted my bicep – pretty hard too, was he sure he didn’t have super-strength? “Fuck you, Duff, you know what I mean."

And, yeah, dreaming of being wooed by a beautiful, badass, intelligent and darkly mysterious vampire? Who appeared in my life and changed it forever, who blew me away with his capability and his passion? Who could captivate me with just a look?

Yeah. Believe me, I could relate.

~~~~

Happy Halloween!

#don’t think too hard about the timeline in this au #my sincerest apologies to any of you who is sick to death of my vampire aus #hell I’M not even that into vampires #I’m just into slash being into vampires…#slash #saul hudson #duff mckagan #gnr #guns n roses #guns and roses #halloween #gnr fanfic #guns n roses fanfic #sodafics

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jlf23tumble · 4 years

Note

Monthly fic rec?

I’m not sure if it’s always the same person who asks me, but please know that I love you--I love giving fic recs, bring ‘em on, this is the highlight of my day by a long shot! I actually read a lot of things this past month that were rather old, so the ones below are just the ones I read and enjoyed that came out in August 2020 (if you’re curious about the pre-August 2020 fic, I read a great Untamed AU, random One Direction threesomes that I vaguely remember reading a while back and not bookmarking, some mpreg in the Harry Potter, Star Trek, Teen Wolf, and X-Men fandoms, a surprisingly amazing rpf hockey a/b/o fic, and a smattering of older Columbo fics, all of which were rec’d to me, and I can’t thank those rec’ers enough for the spice they brought to my life!!). If you want links to those older fics, lemme know. Meanwhile, here’s my list of recent releases--enjoy!

Fearless, by givensecondchances/ @dulcimerharry, 354 words, 1D, Harry/others. Suus is a goddamned GIFT of a human, and this was a gift to me, so every once in a while, I just stare at it lovingly, much like I do at their incredible (and incredibly detailed) tag posts for coolest mum in the neighborhood. This story’s based on Angelina Jolie pre-Brad Pitt, when she was a single mom who got her needs met, let’s just say. (The way the tabs tried and failed on the big “expose,” AIMH, team Angie all the way!!)

Dinner, by BananaStrings, 706 words, Columbo, Columbo/George. All the fics in this fandom are so tiny, but they’re so good? I caught up on the ao3 works in, like, an hour, but I wonder if there’s some old archive somewhere else, hmmmm. Anyway, this one takes the whole “Mrs. Columbo is never seen” idea even further, my god, I love to see it.

hold on to me (i’m a little unsteady), by 28finelines, 1.7k, 1D, Harry/Louis. Just a super soft and fluffy trans Harry sick/comfort fic. Tenderness galore!

Quasi una fantasia, by prescriptionshorts, 3.3k, Columbo, Columbo/Alex. Ah, benelumbo, the fictional pairing dynamic that picks up on the real-life closeness between Peter Falk and John Cassavetes (is this the source of all the Columblr woe? I still have no idea, but there is apparently drama somewhere out there, but idc, I love the entire CONCEPT of columblr being a thing).

nobody knows like me, by enbyharry/ @cisharry, 3.5k, 1D, Harry/Louis. This story! Is! So! Good!!! Asia *always* writes trans Harry so beautifully, but the emotion, the angst here, the “twist” at the end, the pronouns, the ‘70s vibes, just the way they write in general, brb, spiraling again, their power!! This is on my all-stars list for all the reasons!

a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation, by haemophilus, 3.9k, 1D, Harry/Bowen. Give me alllllll the behind-the-scenes SNL hosting fics, but wow, the pining here! The anxiety! The dynamics! Bio’s writing! But especially the pining!

We Met on Lex: A Socially Distanced Romance, by @homosociallyyours, 4.5k, 1D, Harry/Louis. Always love to see Megan writing girl direction, and I think this is for a current (recent?) fest, but holy wow, so many current events! And such a meet cute!

there’s a piece of you in how i dress, by wishforwishes, 4.9k, 1D, Harry/Camille. Madelyn is one of the very best authors for all things Harry and gender, and the way this story unfolds, that last line--”Camille keeps waiting. Harry doesn’t turn her head”--so painful, so good! (I realize out of context it doesn’t pack the same punch, but trust me, youch!)

Stuck in My Heart, by blake/ @newleafover, 6.3k, Lord of the Rings, Gimli/Legolas. Actually, Blake has cranked out a BUNCH of fics in this pairing this month, and they’re all so good and different?? Seriously, I rec ‘em all, but this one...I have a soft spot for Gimli’s annoyance with Rivendell’s architecture, plus all the pining/lingering glances, etc. Simply outstanding!

Eat Your Vegetables, by bananaheathen, 8.8k, 1D, Harry/Louis. So much banter and britishness and fun details across alllll the characters here just makes me think of both “Harry Styles Cooks...” and literally everything by one of my faves, publunchesownmyass. Skills!! This is this author’s first fic, looking forward to more!

(I also read some amazing work from @vondrostes on patreon, but we’ll have to wait for awhile to see it migrate over to ao3!)

#fic rec #august 2020 #why do i bother with tags lmao #i feel like i didn't check in on my napollya feed #but in my defense #some of the fics i read were hella long

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briamichellewrites · 2 years

Text

2000. Brad allowed Jayde to get her septum pierced. He went with her, since she had to have parental permission. It was just a piercing. If she decided she didn’t like it later in life, she could take it out. He had tattoos that she was interested in. She had to be eighteen before getting that. That gave her plenty of time to think about what she wanted. She had her ears pierced, so she was thrilled as she sat on the tattoo artist’s table. He had to sign a waiver before the artist could pierce her nose.

When it was finished, it looked so cool! He examined her nose. Did it hurt? Not really. It was like piercing her ears. It felt like a pinch. Thirteen was an age of new beginnings. Jayde decided she didn’t want to use her name anymore because her mother had given it to her. What name did she want to use? Elliot, even though it was a boy’s name. She just liked it a lot.

“It can be a girl’s name, too. It’s unique. What about a middle name?”

“Ryan? Elliot Ryan Pitt but my legal name is still going to be Jayde Lucy. I just don’t like that name anymore.”

“I like that name. I will remember that. You might have to help me sometimes. I’m old.”

She laughed. “Older than me!”

“I’m your dad. I’m supposed to be older than you.”

It was just the two of them. After he and Jennifer broke up, she moved out leaving Elliot devastated. She didn’t understand why she had left, just that she felt abandoned. He did everything he could to make up for her being gone but he couldn’t fill the void in her heart. She needed a positive female role model like Anna and a mother. He wanted it to be Jennifer but she had other priorities that didn’t involve children.

Hopefully someday she would have a mother. He was almost forty, which was still young enough to fall in love again. Until then, he was content with his travel companion of a daughter. She was a great kid, even with her mental health issues. After his breakup, she went back to hurting herself. He was saddened and heartbroken to see her hitting herself. All he could do was take her hands into his to get her to stop. Tears welled up in her eyes and went down her face.

During an emergency visit with her therapist, he was instructed to have her hospitalized for 72 hours. That was the hardest thing he ever had to do. He felt like a failure as a father. After having her admitted, he visited Mike and Anna to get their perspective. Self-harm was a way she handled the fear of abandonment, it seemed. How long after Jennifer left did she start hurting herself? He noticed it the morning after.

She had become upset because she had forgotten that they were going to the doctor. He witnessed her slap herself across the face. After that, any time she was upset, even if it was something small, she would hit herself.

“She would use whatever she could get her hands on. I took her hands into mine and just held them tight to get her to stop.”

“You did what you thought was the right thing to do. The only person who is angry with you is you. We learned that self-harm is about getting control back. She couldn’t tell you she was upset or afraid and she felt overwhelmed and out of control. Hurting herself was something she could control. Kind of like when people with eating disorders restrict food. That becomes something they can control”, Anna explained.

That made a lot of sense. He thanked them for helping him understand. Mike recommended he also talked to a professional who could help him learn how to help Elliot. He would do that. During her therapy sessions, she learned how to identify what she was feeling, instead of hurting herself. Her therapist gave her a chart showing different faces for different emotions. When she couldn’t find the words, she could point on the chart what she was feeling.

The chart was placed on the wall in her room. It made a big difference because she not only could identify what she was feeling, but she also felt heard and understood. She could be angry or frustrated or upset, she just had to find ways to express them in a healthy way.

“Rapunzel is locked in a very tall tower by a witch. I think she’s a witch but anyway. She has her locked in a tower and she threw away the key. The only way she can go up to see her is by climbing her magic hair. It’s like super long. The witch loves her hair because it has magic powers and it keeps her young because she’s very old. One day, they get into a fight and Rapunzel uses a sword and cuts off her hair. The witch falls from the tower and dies because she turns into ash. There’s also a prince, who climbs her hair to see her but he’s not important.”

Brad laughed as she repeated the story of Rapunzel to him in her interpretation of the story. It was a very well-known story that a lot of children and adults loved. She still had her Barbie and she still found comfort in playing with them. They came with her everywhere she went. His co-stars were delighted to hear her stories. He had done a film, Snatch with Guy Ritchie. They were getting ready to fly to Mexico. He had her get a passport, so she could travel with him.

It had finally come in the mail. He was filming a dark comedy and adventure movie with Julia Roberts, along with other big names. She had never been to Mexico, so she was eager to go. After he was done filming, they had a small break before flying to Morocco. He had done research into what was the appropriate dress for her, so they didn’t offend anyone.

She had to be covered, though it was her choice to cover her body with veils. He had a little more freedom. She picked out dresses that she liked because it was hot there. Yeah, it was. They could cross that bridge when they got there. She found a piece of fabric and wrapped it around her doll’s face, leaving only the eyes visible. He noticed what she had done and confirmed that was how a lot of local women dressed in Morocco.

“Where is Morocco?”

“It’s in Western Africa. Not the part with the lions. That’s called the Savana.”

“Oh, I know a little about Africa. I read a book about it with Mike and Anna because I was interested in it after watching the Lion King. Egypt is in Africa. It’s so big, that’s why there are so many countries there.”

“Yeah, there are. There are Morocco, Egypt, Nigeria, Kenya, Ghana, Ethiopia, and Uganda. Unfortunately, not all of the countries get along and there are a lot of fighting and wars.”

“People don’t get along. Tsk tsk.”

He laughed. “Yeah.”

Morocco was going to be a culture shock for her. It was a country and culture very different than hers. He wanted her to be exposed to different cultures and people, so she could learn that they were just human underneath. If he could, he would adopt from all over the world. He was thinking about adopting but he was concerned about how that would affect her, especially with her mental health. That was something he would ask her therapist about.

He was grateful that he had a travel companion because going all over the world was lonely. Thirteen years old. She was doing great with her schoolwork and was almost caught up with other kids her age. If he had put her in public school, he had a feeling she would have fallen further behind. Being homeschooled helped her catch up. She was a good student, who needed help sometimes.

She loved reading, writing, history and was learning how to love geography. It wasn’t just maps, but also learning about different cultures.

He thought the lessons stuck more because she had real world experiences to go along with what she was learning. When it was time for dinner, she moved her Barbie stuff out of the way, so she didn’t step on anything before following him downstairs.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @jovichic-bonjovi4ever @borhap-au @beneathashadytree @duffs-shot-glass @geo-winchester @lokolokong-manunulat

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purplesurveys · 3 years

Text

1221

Are you mad at your best friend right now? I have absolutely no reason to be angry with Angela now and certainly not since our last petty childhood fight in like, 2009.

Do you know anybody with a pet snake? I used to know somebody, but she’s since gone off the radar and idek if her pet snake would still be alive at this point.

Do you buy your underwear in a pack or seperately? I can go either way.

Have you ever made fun of anybody and later became their friend? OMG yesss this was the entire background of my friendship with Sofie. Though I wouldn’t say I made fun of her...I just found her really annoying at first, and quite ditzy, too. Then something just clicked and worked out along the way and we ended up being best friends for quite some time until we went our separate ways shortly after college life started.

Is the lamp on in the room you're in? Yes; it’s one of my favorite pieces in my room.

Do you have a pair of shoes that you can only wear with one or two outfits? Nah, not really. I mostly own sneakers, which can go with most things casual.

Is there any drink that you absolutely MUST drink cold? Most drinks, honestly; but mainly, I like my coffee and water cold.

Did you sleep in past noon today? I don’t think I’ve ever done that. The latest I’ve woken up is probably a little over 10.

Did your grandma ever tell you about her love life? Neither of them have.

Have you ever painted anybody's nails aside from your own? Possibly, but I no longer recall it.

Anything exciting happening in the month of September? I don’t think so. There are couple of birthdays in the family, but we don’t have plans for those days yet.

Who is your last missed call from? Some media or blogger I ignored because I don’t take calls.

When was the last time you ate Frosted Flakes? I can’t remember...I don’t really eat cereal.

Did you ever NOT want a substitute in a certain class? Yeah, for classes I hated, like math.

Do you ever donate to the less fortunate? Not regularly. When a homeless person or street child knocks on my car while waiting in traffic I do try to give them some money and/or snack, if I have one in my bag.

Did you buy an American flag after 9/11 to put on your car/house/ whatever? I was barely conscious in 2001. I am also not American.

Do you know any songs that are older than you are? ...Many?

Are there framed pictures of you anywhere in your house? Yeah we have some framed photos going up the staircase. I also have my Prep graduation portrait up in my room.

Compared to other people of your age would you be considered 'NORMAL'? Ugh.

Honestly, do you have any Hilary Duff on your MP3 player? I don’t have an MP3 player but I don’t think I ever had Hilary Duff on any of my music players.

Who is worst in your family about calling people back? Probably Nina as she hates making calls to begin with.

Do you like peanut M&M's? Nah, I hate nuts in my chocolate.

When was the last time you had an ice cream sandwich? Safe to say well over a year ago. It’s not my snack of choice haha I never understood why I had to bite into my ice cream.

When was the last time you ate jelly beans? August 2019.

When was the last time you had hot chocolate? Around a month ago, I’d say? My mom fixes me a mug of hot choco every once in a while.

Have you ever caught a friend cheating on their bf/gf? I haven’t.

What was the last song stuck in your head? I think it had been Rain by BTS.

Do you enjoy doing math? If I know how the math works and have the formulas memorized, I can definitely find it fun. Math had actually been pretty manageable for me in school, at least right until we reached trig and calc which were just bleck.

Do you think your mom has secrets she’s never told you? Oh without a doubt. I’m 200% sure everyone in the family has secrets we never share; we’re not open with each other.

Do you own anything you don’t want your parents to know about? Yes.

Do you pose in your pictures or just smile? I will pose if I’m comfortable but most of the time I just smile.

Are there any colors you will NOT wear? I avoid orange as much as possible.

Do you use scented soap in the shower? Nah, just a normal-scented one.

Did you ever want to be a fashion designer? That was never part of my plans, no.

Who was the last person you danced with? Enjoyable? Angela and Hans. I was drunk, so yes I had fun lol.

Do you like convertibles? I don’t really care for them, or for cars in general.

Have you ever yelled at the television? So many times, usually when a favorite singer or band is performing OR when I’m watching a really intense sports game - usually basketball or wrestling.

How many songs on your MP3 player are about sex? -

Do you like water parks? I think they are nasty for the most part.

Dark or light colored jeans? Light.

Can you take apart a computer and name all the parts? Nope.

Can you take apart a car and name all the parts? Even more so no.

Would your friends describe you as nerdy? I don’t think they would.

How many different colors are you wearing right now? Five.

Have you ever purchased a lotto ticket? Nope.

Are you double-jointed anywhere? I am not.

What is the longest amount of time you've spent playing Monopoly? You know, I’ve never even understood the rules of Monopoly...I’ve never bothered to play a round of it. Board games are usually too complicated for me lol.

Have you ever witnessed a tornado first-hand? Not a tornado, no. But I’ve experienced countless hurricanes and floods.

Did you play in the sand box as a kid? It was my favorite part of the playground and I was always exclusively found in a sandbox. I liked the texture (still do) + no one was ever there, so as a shy kid it worked out perfectly for me.

How about on the monkey bars? I tried it every now and then but I wasn’t a very active kid, so my arms would feel strained fairly quickly. It was never the first thing I’d run to whenever I got to go to the playground.

Have you ever made an alarm go off? I don’t think so.

Have you ever colored your eyebrows? Nope.

Did you ever own a pop-up book? Many of them, as a kid.

Have you ever honked at a biker? Yes but only whenever they swerve a little bit and are about to hit my car.

Have you ever taken another person's prescribed medication? No?

Have you ever played golf (not miniature golf)? No, I’ve played neither version. The sport doesn’t interest me.

Do you use gel in your hair? Only for formal events where I can’t afford to show up with my hair all frizzy.

Do you own a garden gnome? We don’t.

Are any of the rooms in your house painted blue? Nope, they’re all white. My parents’ room used to be green (came with the house), but it looked gross so it didn’t take long before they hired someone to paint the walls white.

Do you kick off your shoes as soon as you walk in the door? Yes. Actually, since the start of COVID, we’ve taken to removing our shoes even before we enter. We have a mat right by the front door where we can properly take off our shoes and head inside already barefoot.

Have you ever judged a book by its cover? Sometimes, but I don’t let it linger.

What is the most effective device at the gym? I don’t go to the gym.

Can you drive a stick shift? Hahahaha no, and I’m not so sure I’m ever willing to learn.

Have you ever picked on a substitute teacher? That’s mean and no, I haven’t.

How good are you at giving directions? Terrible. As much as possible I don’t do it and just refer the person asking to my nearest friend/companion.

When was the last time you looked out the window nearest you? Just a few minutes ago, actually. I put an arm out to check if it’s chilly outside since it rained all day today.

Have you ever got dressed with the windows open? Never. I make sure to pull down my blinds every time.

Have you ever given a foot massage? No.

Do public restrooms freak you out? They don’t freak me out per se but like I rarely go into them and use them, even before Covid. The idea of sharing a toilet with strangers is super gross lol and many of them don’t even put away their trash properly.

Have you ever taken a shower outside? I may have, but nothing sticks out.

Have you ever been to a junkyard? I don’t think so.

What do you think of Brad Pitt? I don’t really have an opinion...I loved his episode on Friends, but that’s it.

Have you ever watched the History Channel willingly? Yes, a few times.

Have you ever used pennies to pay for something that cost over 50 cents? I don’t speak US currency, but yeah there’ve been around 1-2 times I had to pay for something worth P50 with just coins. It’s always been embarrassing lol so I try to avoid it and be prepared with paper bills as much as I can.

If a place makes you pay for delivery - do you still tip the driver? Yes.

Without the aid of a cell phone - do you know your parents numbers by heart? Just my mom’s. Since my dad is always in and out of the country (at least until the pandemic), I’ve never gotten to memorize his number.

Can you name 10 former presidents? Arroyo, Macapagal, Aquino, another Aquino, Estrada, Ramos, Magsaysay, Quirino, Quezon, Roxas.

But if we’re talking about US presidents...Obama, Trump, Clinton, Roosevelt, another Roosevelt I believe, Nixon, Reagan, Carter, Lincoln, Washington. I hope I got them right hahaha.

Have you ever bought a gift for a teacher? Just as a kid.

Is your bedroom carpeted? Nope.

Right now, what color is your tongue? Pink.

When was the last time you had a Tootsie Pop? Years ago. I don’t have it a lot.

If you could get the cell phone of your choice - what would it be? iPhone 12 Pro Max.

Who is your favorite super hero? I don’t have any.

How about your favorite villain? I don’t really have any, either.

Do you know anybody who works at a bank? Possibly, but I can’t place a name right now.

What do you usually order from your favorite fast food place? That would be KFC, and I usually order either their Zinger or Twister. FUCK now I want to get KFC :((

Do you hand out candy to kids on Halloween? No, because none of them ever reach this part of the village. We never have to prepare any candy lol.

What perfume/cologne do you wear the most? Heat Rush.

Can you name all 7 dwarfs? I always miss out on one or two.

Does the early bird really catch the worm? Idk what this expression is.

#survey #surveys

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joonsrack · 5 years

Text

+Pairing: Kim Seokjin x Kim Namjoon

+Genre: SFW (this chapter), E2L, attempt at crack, slow burn, WIP

+Word count: 1.2k (this chapter)

+Chapter: Prologue | 1 | ?

+Rating: General audience (this chapter; rating might go up as story progress)

+Warning: No warning for now, except maybe the fact that i’m trying my hand at crack

+Summary:

Celebrity chef Kim seokjin needs to salvage his reputation after being dragged in the news paper as a heartless monster out to make people cry. Enters his agent with the worst idea ever and one Kim Namjoon, the worst cook ever.

(Or: Jin is a Korean Gordon Ramsay and Joon is the bane of his existence.)

+A/N: Hello. This is for the Luv Library Collab - Culinary & Cuisine, which was due like ten days ago.... anyways. This was supposed to be a one shot but i realized i wanted to explore this plot more, so it became a WIP. I’m really proud of what the prologue came out like, heres to hoping i can pull this off during the whole thing :P

Seokjin slaps the paper down on his manager’s desk, looking like the perfect picture of confusion and exasperation. The phone is ringing in the background, as it has for the past twenty-four hours, slowly dragging him ring by ring down into insanity.

“Why are you showing me this? How is that any different than all the other times?”

Yoongi sighs deeply, not looking away from the new lamp on his desk; the fifth one this month.

Some people stress-clean, some stress-bake; Yoongi stress-shops light fixtures.

“This,-” he stresses, “is very different than all the other times” He purses his lips for a moment, finally sparring him a look after wiping away at an imaginary dust from the lampshade. “You made Jeon Jungkook cry.-”

“ Allegedly! ”

“- He’s the nation’s baby. The public wants your head” He says, picking up the magazine and waving it lethargically around for emphasis. “There will be blood to pay”.

He throws the magazine back at Jin, Jin catching it in extremis. On the first page is in big bold yellow letters: Celebrity chef Kim Seokjin bullies nation’s sweetheart Jeon Jungkook. Then in smaller characters: Has fame gotten to his head? There’s a screenshot of the tweet taking up most of the front page, looking very dramatic for what it really is.

“He asked me to rate his cooking and showed me dog vomit, what was I supposed to do?!” Jin asks, voice reaching high proportions. He doesn’t whine. He’s an adult.

“Not asking him if this was the digested version would have been a good start.”

“And be kind to someone with an anime profile picture? In which universe?

“Couldn’t you see the little blue verified sign by his name?”

“ Anime. profile. picture. ”

Yoongi doesn’t answer, and Seokjin can’t hold back a groan. All of this happened because of the devil that is Jeon Jungkook. He knew exactly what he was doing, faking those tears during that live. Now his fans are onto him, making his life miserable.

“I merely told him his food looked like shit, but his fanbase- they’re” He pauses, shivers. Yoongi gets this unfocused faraway look in his eyes, probably going through some serious PTSD of all the time Jin set off idol’s fans.

The phone rings, cutting through what probably is some very violent flashbacks. Yoongi fiddles at the lamp switch nervously, turning it on and off a few times to help keep his calm.

It’s the ring too many, and Jin rips the cord out of the phone in a flare of exasperation.

Under Yoongi’s startled stare, he lets his body sag on one of the couches, using the magazine to shield his eyes. Artfully, mind you; he’s not being dramatic, he’s being emotionally expressive. This situation is emotionally draining, and he needs to lay down for a sec. This probably the biggest crisis since he started gaining popularity, bigger than the time he accidentally asked Brad Pitt for nudes on twitter (Accidentally meaning he was drunk. Or so that’s what the public believes).

There’s a stretch of silence, both men contemplating every decision that led them here, in this office, with this pesky problem that is Jeon Jungkook faking tears on one of his lives to get back at Seokjin for calling his food ‘ animal regurgitation ’.

“Do you think this is the right hue for my office?” Yoongi asks distractedly, breaking the contemplating silence.

Jin sits up, letting his weight rest back on his elbow. “In all honesty it makes your head look big.”

Yoongi’s eyes go sharp, taking badly to Jin’s criticism. He purses his lips, eyebrow arching to complete the look.

“Anyways, I found a solution.” he says, an evil glint appearing in his eyes.

“You did?” Seokjin asks, fully sitting up as confusion and worry mix in his guts. His agent waited all this time to bring it up, that just can’t be good.

Yoongi nods slowly, a mean smile stretching his lips. “I was unsure if it was the right one until now, but I think it just might be the thing to help us out of our little situation.”

“Oh?” Jin says, gulping loudly.

“Oh, no.” Namjoon says, looking quite pale. “Absolutely not. I’ll get sued. We’ll get sued.”

“Come on now, Joonie. Think about it. It would be a good opportunity to promote your new album-”

“Playlist.” Namjoon corrects Hoseok, who ignores him.

“-Plus it’ll make you look relatable in the public’s eyes.”

“How is me being an agent of destruction in the kitchen relatable in anyone’s eyes?”

“Look, all you have to do is go there, try not to chop your fingers off, make sure at least one of your dimples is visible at all times, and then you’re done.”

“Ok but what about my dignity? How can I ever rap about having an automatic dick if the whole nation learns I’m a useless adult.”

“Oh baby,” Hoseok says, a playful glint in his eyes. “You broke three pair of sunglasses in front of your fans last month. They already know.”

Namjoon grimaces.

“This is on a whole other level of public humiliation, Hyung. Me, in a kitchen, cooking.”

Hoseok sighs, rounding his desk he was leaning on to ruffle through the papers covering it. He’s usually a neat freak but they’ve been very busy with his last release. He grabs something from under a pile of paperwork, letting out a victorious ‘hah!’.

“There,” He says, holding out a brown envelope to Namjoon. “-It’s the proposal. Read it, and think about it, but I sincerely believe this could be a good way to promote your album.”

“Playlist.” He corrects, more resigned this time.

His album hasn’t been doing too well; not bad, but not good either. They’re having trouble gaining traction, his agency on the smaller side and struggling to be taken seriously. He’s grateful for everything Hoseok is doing, and this is no exception. He knows he needs to do this, dignity or not.

Until something catches his eyes in the first few lines. There’s the title of the show, the producer name, the dates of filming, a slight summary of what the show is about, and then:

MC: Kim Seokjin

Because life hates him.

His heart goes double his regular rate, hands becoming sweaty under half a second. His clothes seem suddenly too tight, too warm.

He can still remember, on that faithful pre-debut evening, lounging in his bunk bed while watching his favorite youtuber talk about himself.

It was before Kim Seokjin went mainstream and landed himself his own cooking show. Back when Eat Jin, his channel, had under 400k subscribers, and it was mostly videos of him cooking his favorite food and then gorging himself. This particular video was a Q&A, and for some reason he couldn’t understand, Namjoon was fascinated by this man, so of course he was watching it attentively. He was funny, handsome, charmingly witty in his answers.

But it only took one sentence from Jin for Namjoon to finally understand exactly why he was so obsessed with the man:

“I like it. When my mouth is full of food. Because when I swallow, a large amount of food goes down and it feels like I’m almost going to choke- I really like that feeling.”

Namjoon had dropped his phone from the top bunk, too busy having an epiphany to even notice the sound of it smashing on the floor.

His sexual orientation was never the same after that night.

And now he was going to lose his dignity in front of his gay awakening catalyst.

#magicshopnet #ficwithluv #bangtanarmynet #btswriterscollective #armysource #bangtanscenery #bangtanhq #fwl project #luv library #if you can't take the heat #bangtanxm

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eusuntgratie · 4 years

Note

1, 2, 7, 8, 15, 16, 23, 28, 30!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bi asks | ask me

1. who was your childhood male crush? who your female crush?

i had it bad for brad pitt a la Legends of the Fall. I still REALLY love long haired men, but I was pretty much exclusively attracted to long haired men in my youth. and apparently my weakness for pretty men crying started LONG AGO. I’ve had a crush on Salma Hayek since forever <3

2. when and how did you realize you were not straight?

heh. so i’m a bit of a weirdo i guess. or maybe my story is just the result of growing up in a heteronormative society and being able to pass as straight. i’ve always been attracted to women and gender non-conforming folk, and i’ve always been drawn to, felt supported by, and felt protective of the queer community. i never had a lightbulb moment, but in the last couple of years, i actually spent some time thinking critically about and claiming an identity. i usually use pan but i’m good with bi too :)

7. what is the most stereotypical bi thing about you/that you do?

i feel like there’s this perception that bi/pan people are attracted to everyone (like literally every human), and i’m not, but i do crush on people easily, i don’t have a type and am attracted to a really wide range of humans, and almost always find a person i enjoy ogling in nearly every scenario (shows, movies, bars, whatever). my lovely husband is VERY used to me lusting after AT LEAST one character in nearly everything we watch and listening to me ramble about why they’re pretty. we watched SNL last night and during kate mckinnon’s cast intro i was like “i LOVE her” and you could HEAR the heart eyes in my voice and he was just like “babe i know you tell me literally every time we watch SNL”.

8. describe your style

what style? i never leave my house anymore 😂

typical day if i’m not dressed for work & plan to work out - high waisted workout leggings, a strappy sports bra, and a cropped shirt if its warm or a sweatshirt or something if its cold. baggy sweats and a hoodie in the evenings if its cold enough. jean shorts and tshirts in the summer, leggings or jeans and sweaters or flannel and boots in the winter. I’m almost always barefoot. I dress up infrequently but I do love to wear fancy dresses or jeans and cute tops with heels and lots of bright makeup and eyeliner. so basically, zero effort (sweats or workout clothes and no makeup) or a nice outfit and full face of makeup. no in between, except for work, but zoom life means i don’t really wear my work clothes right now.

15. your favorite queer novel?

probably call me by your name. i’ve read it a lot and i really love the aggressively first-person-ness of it...being totally immersed in every thought that pops into elio’s head because it reminds me of when I was his age and how i thought about love and attraction then. obviously i love the movie too. I haven’t read enough queer fiction, though. i have a bunch of bi books on my list for my next bookshop order that i’ve been meaning to make for like six weeks. if y’all have recommendations, send them my way.

16. your favorite queer movie?

brokeback mountain. i love the movie, but i also have such strong memories around it that i think that’s what makes it my favorite. it came out when i was in college, and i went to school in a small college town, so me and my friends drove a couple of hours to see it. we had planned to make a night of it, go out to eat after, and i just remember us all staring at each other at dinner, still sobbing. once we stopped crying, we talked about the movie all through dinner, through the drive home... i had a bunch of really great conversations with people in college because of that movie. one night in our dorm lounge in the basement a group of us stayed up all night talking about queerness and masculinity and attraction. i watch it every year or two, and it always rips my heart out. if i’m in the right mood, just the chords from the theme song will make me start crying.

23. what’s something that makes you fall for a person immediately?

i’m an actions speak louder than words kinda person. i need to see that somebody will do what they say they will, that they’ll take care of me, that they can deal with the shitty stuff. watching someone competently do something they are good at is just... oof. i’m also super duper tactile, so i’m a big fan of lots of flirty touching and dancing and touching for no reason and hand holding and hugging etc. etc. etc. y’all get three guesses why I love bucky so much.

28. what is a dating/relationship deal-breaker for you?

not doing the fucking work. i don’t expect my partner to be good at everything, but i damn sure expect him to try and to work as hard for us as I do.

and smoking. being around cigarette smoke makes me want to cut out my own lungs. i can’t with that.

30. what childhood moment makes you think “I should’ve known I wasn’t straight back then”?

i don’t know. i might not have one, which is lame. i never hid my attraction, i just let my relationships dictate my identity, i guess. so i never had this aha moment of like “oh shit i’m not just into men!”; i’ve always known that. and I don’t know that ever really thought of myself as straight when I was young, just like I didn’t really examine or think about my whiteness until I started doing racial justice work. i don’t know. I dated men and ended up marrying a cis man and I didn’t really critically think about my own identity beyond that. that sounds so utterly ridiculous and lame, but its true. I think if I hadn’t been raised Catholic I probably would’ve dated other genders, but its also not as if there was a girl I wanted to date and didn’t because i was scared; i think it was a lot more layered and complex than that. well that’s not an answer at all, but there you go!

💗💜💙

💗💛💙

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tabloidtoc · 4 years

Text

National Enquirer, November 9

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Duchess Kate sets the record straight on Prince Harry and Meghan Markle

Page 2: Ben Affleck is wasting away and friends fear he’s taking his new health regimen too far as the six-foot-four star usually weighs 208 pounds but has shriveled to a spindly 165 -- a nutritionist put him on a sensible meal plan but he’s altered it with his own fantastical ideas such as he won’t go near bread and he’s ditched pasta and he’ll eat cantaloupe and blueberries one day and nuts and seeds the next and he’ll only drink boiled water and green tea for 24 hours then break his fast with a small bowl of quinoa -- instead of pumping iron he does exercises using his own body weight like ten-minute planks -- Ben thinks he looks great but his pals fear he’s traded one addiction for another

Page 3: Love-hungry Katie Holmes is thrilled to have a new man in her life but she’s breaking the bank to keep him happy because Katie is picking up the tab wherever she goes with Emilio Vitolo Jr. because it helps her feel she’s in full control of the relationship but Emilio may be taking advantage of Katie’s generosity because Katie has been showering him with designer clothes and jewelry and even paying for a personal trainer to whip him into shape -- Katie enjoys giving her guy things he can appreciate because he’s made her so happy but she may go broke doing it and it’s not like he doesn’t have any money; he’s worth a cool $1.5 million himself

Page 4: CNN rocked by sex scandal -- Jeffrey Toobin’s sleazy sex scandal has rocked CNN but it’s just the latest in a string of scandals at the network

Page 5: Axed Fox News anchor Ed Henry fought back against his co-worker’s rape charges in a blockbuster lawsuit by handing the court explicit selfies and texts in an attempt to prove their tryst was consensual

Page 6: Ryan Seacrest is downplaying his latest shocking absence from Live with Kelly and Ryan but the TV dynamo is battling a mystery illness that may force him to sign off for good -- the co-host who is a well known as a workaholic skipped out on the daytime show for the third time this year and used the coronavirus pandemic as his excuse -- Ryan was suffering badly from flu-like symptoms on the weekend before his absences but came back negative for coronavirus however doctors remain baffled by Ryan’s ongoing battles with exhaustion and weight loss and stroke-like symptoms, disgraced perv Bill Cosby’s latest mug shot shows he’s a shriveled shadow of his former self and the fallen funnyman flashed a maniacal grin while refusing to look into the camera in the picture snapped behind bars in September and he’s unshaven and his hair is ratty

Page 7: Lizzo has embarked on a radical vegan diet and extreme exercise program to save her life -- doctor warned the 350-pound singer that her daily intake of 5000 calories a day was a dangerous path to self-destruction and she needed to change her life or lose it and Lizzo finally got the message and is committed to this program but it’s been a living hell for her

Page 8: After surviving a fiery crash at the Daytona 500 NASCAR hero Ryan Newman is locked in an ugly $50 million divorce showdown with his estranged wife -- Ryan and Kristina Newman split in 2019 after she was caught having an affair with another man and paying her love $450,000 and now Ryan’s lawyers are trying to freeze Kristina who was once referred to as the First Lady of NASCAR out of his fortune -- court papers reveal the two split in July 2019 when Kristina went to live with her boyfriend U.S. Army Captain Joe Schwankhaus who is the Chief Operations Officer of Kristina’s company VRX USA

Page 9: Ellen DeGeneres debuted a high-flying pompadour hairstyle on her new talk show but the makeover still doesn’t get to the root of her recent problems and although her hair may be rising her show’s ratings are falling

Page 10: Hot Shots -- pregnant Kelly Rowland, Andy Cohen took his son Benjamin for a stroll in NYC, Will Smith held court in L.A. while shooting King Richard a biopic about the dad of tennis greats Venus Williams and Serena Williams, Angela Bassett caught a drive-in screening of One Night in Miami in L.A.

Page 11: Grieving Lisa Marie Presley has broken her silence over the suicide of her beloved only son Benjamin Keough saying her heart and soul went with him sharing her heartbreak on what would have been Ben’s 28th birthday and she added she’s dedicating herself to raising Ben’s twin half-sisters and actress sister Riley Keough, Chaka Khan refuses to duo with Ariana Grande again saying she’s not gonna do a song with no heifer -- Chaka and Ariana worked together in 2019 for the Charlie’s Angels soundtrack

Page 12: Straight Shuter -- DWTS pro Emma Slater kept a handle on her coffee while steering her e-bike (picture), it pays to be Brad Pitt’s girlfriend as his new squeeze Nicole Poturalski has doubled her modeling fees, dancing siblings Derek Hough and Julianne Hough are out of step over her sloppy personal life and his hot new judging career because these two were supposed to be the next Donny and Marie Osmond but his solo career is exploding while hers is falling apart, Madonna has always been a big believer in astrology but now she won’t even meet with people if it’s not written in the stars and she’s spending a fortune to have an army of people read her charts

Page 13: Losing his beloved son to cancer has sparked new fears for fragile Robert Redford because Robert has struggled with his own health over the years and losing his son to bile-duct cancer is extremely worrying; he’s already frail and this has friends fearing the worst, Jeff Bridges is confident he’ll win his battle with lymphoma by coupling medical care with a strict vegan diet and chanting and spiritual healing techniques

Page 14: Convicted wife killer Scott Peterson may soon walk out of prison and grisly photos lawyers say could set him free -- following years of appeals California’s Supreme Court overturned Scott’s death penalty and now another appeal is forcing a lower court to reexamine his conviction for murdering seven months pregnant wife Laci Peterson and their unborn son Conner -- if Scott gets a retrial his legal team will be allowed to introduce new evidence including crime scene pictures that Scott’s former defense attorney said suggests Laci’s disappearance was an abduction by a satanic cult

Page 15: Former child star Zachery Ty Bryan of Home Improvement was jailed overnight and released on $8500 bail following his bust for a fight with a galpal at an apartment complex in Eugene in Oregon -- the drama comes on the heels of Zachery’s split from wife Carly Matros the mom of his four kids

Page 16: Ryan Reynolds can’t wait to film a new rom-com with close pal Sandra Bullock but it’s causing tension with wife Blake Lively even though Blake trusts Ryan and would never forbid him from taking this part but the idea of him getting cozy with Sandra again still makes her uneasy -- now Ryan and Sandra are signed up to do The Lost City of D and despite Sandra’s denials they ever had a romance Ryan is gushing about them getting back together

Page 17: Isolated and overlooked Today show host Hoda Kotb is being bullied off the morning show because of tepid ratings and the absence of former sidekick Kathie Lee Gifford and Mean Girls treatment by co-hosts Savannah Guthrie and Jenna Bush Hager have pushed the disillusioned anchor closer to the door -- Hoda recently filled out paperwork to adopt a third child and she’s clearly putting more emphasis on family than her career and it sends the signal she isn’t happy with her role and is not thinking of Today as her top priority, trainwreck Matthew Perry is holed up in his new Pacific Palisades beach pad pounding out an explosive tell-all and his former Friends are quaking about what secrets he may reveal -- Matthew wants to rush the book out while interest in the Friends reunion special which was postponed by the COVID-19 pandemic remains high -- he knows an uncensored account of his time on Friends and his drug issues would be a bestseller and he intends to blow the lid off his on-set romances and address rumors he and Jennifer Aniston were more than friends

Page 18: American Life -- her tall tale: I have the longest legs in the world

Page 19: Jessica Simpson has been flaunting her body after dumping a shocking 100 pounds but buddies worry the drastic drop in size isn’t natural and suspect she’s been taking diet pills again and they’re worried this could escalate into a big issue

Page 20: Devastated Reese Witherspoon was hit with a depressing double whammy -- the death of her dog Pepper from cancer and the delay of her long-awaited sequel Legally Blonde 3, Hollywood Hookups -- John Cena and Shay Shariatzadeh wed, Ashley Hebert and J.P. Rosenbaum split, Cardi B and Offset on again

Page 21: Bruce Willis is back in another Die Hard but this time it’s a commercial for Advance Auto Parts and Die Hard batteries and it’s a clear statement on the state of his career that Bruce has to revisit his amazing past to make a fast buck in the present, Giada De Laurentiis has been given the green light to get married by her 12-year-old daughter Jade -- Giada has dated TV producer Shane Farley for five years and he’s been living with mother and daughter for five months during the pandemic lockdown which gave Jade a firsthand look at what it would be like to have a new daddy and Shane’s passed the test with flying colors

Page 22: Cover Story -- Prince William’s heartsick wife Kate Middleton is breaking her silence about the royal family’s tumultuous bitter break with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle to set the record straight and save Britain’s monarchy and she’s tired of all the rumors and lies and backbiting and after all the drama and negativity she wants to get the truth out there and end this unprecedented crisis that’s endangering the monarchy’s survival -- friends are trying to convince Kate to do an official sit-down TV interview about what really happened between once-inseparable William and Harry and how Harry and Meghan tore the family apart even before they moved to America but Kate is resisting because she fears that could backfire like Princess Diana’s TV tell-all about her marriage to Prince Charles 25 years ago -- Kate had to turn the other cheek often after Meghan joined the family and she offered to help Meghan adjust to royal life from the start but Meghan rebuffed her and Kate in tired of Meghan painting her as the bad guy especially when it was Meghan’s antics that tore the family apart -- Kate also is upset that Harry and Meghan are portraying themselves as victims of a world that’s against them while she and William take on a phenomenal workload to cover the responsibilities the Sussexes left and losing precious time with their own three children and it’s hard not to be bitter but Kate is trying to take the high road and forgive Meghan and move forward

Page 26: With their marriage hanging by a thread Tori Spelling fears Dean McDermott will cheat on her again while filming a new TV show in Canada for six months; Tori wanted to bring their 5 children to Canada with him but Dean put her off saying it would be too distracting -- she’s been a jittery mess and he can’t stand to look at her and he only took this job because they need the money, Melanie Griffith is frustrated with Chris Martin and wants him to put a ring on her daughter Dakota Johnson’s finger -- the couple have been dating since 2017 and Melanie’s fed up with waiting for Chris to pop the question -- Melanie began to lose her patience after the couple reunited following a split last June when Chris won Dakota back with promises to settle down

Page 28: COVID Vaccines: What you need to know

Page 32: Miley Cyrus claimed she once spotted a spaceship over Hollywood and even locked eyes with an alien but she also admits she’d bought weed wax from a guy in a van in front of a taco shop, whiny Kris Jenner is blaming social media for killing off Keeping Up with the Kardashians after it helped the reality TV clan make a mint

Page 34: Ozzy Osbourne is terrified a doll has cursed him -- Ozzy told son Jack Osbourne on their Osbournes Want to Believe show that Robert the doll was responsible for his recent bad luck and failing health, Tom Cruise and his Mission: Impossible 7 team caused chaos at an Italian hospital by filming there during the COVID-19 pandemic -- Tom and his crew including 100 security staffers plus trucks and other equipment descended on the Policlinico Umberto I in Rome for a week and legions of fans also flocked to the filming creating even more commotion in the streets outside the hospital and adding to the bedlam the production commandeered an elevator drawing criticism as hospital staff were treating 140 coronavirus patients with 12 in intensive care -- filming was done in an administrative section of the hospital but still sparked an official protest as well as complaints from trade union members

Page 36: Health Watch

Page 38: Superhero screen pals of Chris Pratt rushed to rescue the actor’s reputation after he was mercilessly dragged into a silly social media meme when a Twitter user posted pictures of Chris Pratt and Chris Pine and Chris Hemsworth and Chris Evans captioned with the instruction one has to go but a flood of responses slammed Pratt as the worst Chris causing his Marvel co-stars to prop him up such as Zoe Saldana and Robert Downey Jr. and Mark Ruffalo and Jeremy Renner and Guardians of the Galaxy director James Gunn and Chris Pratt’s wife Katherine Schwarzenegger also bashed the social media bullies, Matthew McConaughey kept saying alright alright alright to making romantic comedies until the day he was so fed up he turned down $14.5 million to do another one -- Matthew revealed in his memoir that he didn’t mind making a string of mindless rom-coms because their paychecks rented the houses on the beach he ran shirtless on but he eventually wanted to try something else so he turned down a big payday so he could get more serious

Page 42: Red Carpet -- Drew Barrymore

Page 47: Odd List

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