#earth here has only been alive for maybe 4 days?

[itsahotminuteinbetween]

remember that one what-if scenario of the witch au? If Eclipse hadn't stayed in the cabin and instead ventured out to find KC himself? Yeah, well, he stumbles upon what he assumes is an empty cottage and finds a newborn ai (not literally, she's programmed with the mentality of an adult, she's just very new)-what a wrench in his plans.

Earth sort of assumes that Eclipse was sent to the cottage with the same directives as her-he's not about to correct her when he needs a place to stay.

[oceantornadoo]

(simon riley x f!reader, same rank!)

violence, cod inaccuracies, reader is a badass

simon riley never calls you baby

until he does.

you tell him it has to stay hidden. you can't be known as "the girl fucking the lieutenant", no matter if you're the same rank as him, the same sweat and tears put into the job. it scares you, the thought of losing decades of hard work over some stupid fling with a man they call ghost. a man who brings you tea on your sick days, a man with soft eyes and a listening ear, the only man who's ever brought you to orgasm. the push and pull of your autonomy and your love is ever growing, that bone deep fear rooted in your marrow.

simon's scared too. scared of waking up and it's all a dream. scared that his enemies will find out, scared that it'll show he isn't so dead after all. he's been a rotting thing on earth for nearly four decades and he's comfortable with it; no matter how alive you make him feel. his hand on your waist feels right, but he can't bring his heart into the light.

so you call each other "lieutenant." maybe "riley" when he pisses you off, just to get under his skin. "dove" is rare, but it warms you up just the same, gives you an unbidden vision of hot chocolate and snow days. mainly its "l.t.", remnant of johnny, the respect and friendliness woven together sweetly. you murmured "babe" to him once, in the early morning when he sneaks out, and felt his shoulders bunch, the weight of it too much to bear. that was the end of pet names, or so you thought.

--

it's a foggy day on what becomes the worst night of your life. the mission is at a standstill, the intel outdated. you were supposed to be taking out a terrorist organization, blowing up the base of their operations, but instead the building is damp and abandoned, echoes of life the only sign they were here. price is in your ear, telling you to clear one last room and retreat, simon already on his way out. you nudge your way into the room with caution, years of practiced steps coming to you on instinct. for some reason, you don't catch the glint of a stranger's eye in a hidden corner. you don't see the rope in his hands, the knife between his teeth. the next thing you see is the floor, fog seeping over concrete as rough hands gag you and mutter promises of ungodly harm.

something's wrong. "price." simon murmurs soft and low, crossing out of the building to the tree cover below. "where is she? s'pposed t' be out by now." he's scanning the building through his scope, looking for that figure he knows so well, could find blind. "copy. 'er tracker says she's still in the buildin'. let's-" there's a piercing scream in the air. the ravens take flight from the trees. dark wings, dark words. "ghost-" "goin' in." a sigh on the other end. he can practically feel price's hesistancy but he doesn't care, heavy feet already moving back into the building. "you're goin' in blind, radar's jus' gone out." he swears under his breath, clearing hallway after hallway as the building falls back into silence. just as he comes upon a 4-way split, you scream again, the sound far away and to his left. "'m comin' dove, hold on." there's no gunfire, no sounds of fight. it's so eerie he thinks he might have dreamed it, his worst nightmare come true. his instincts lead the way, some knowledge of your location hidden in his blood. pop. finally a gunshot, and if he squints hard, he tries to imagine it being from your weapon. he's close, nostrils expanding at the scent of you, memorized even without your favored perfume.

there were four of them. you still can't believe you missed them, the thought in the back of your head as you fight for your life. scrambling from the rope one tries to force on you, becoming an eel as you slip out of their grasps. this is what you do, what you're trained for. until someone stomps down hard on your ankle, the force of it cracking straight through. you scream, can't help it, searing pain blinding your vision for precious seconds. they take advantage of it, gloved hands tying your own behind your back in a tight knot. you can't reach your comms so you scream again, this one out of frustration, desperation that your team, that simon, might not find you.

the big one shuts you up with a hand to your throat, a bruising grip that leaves you unable to speak. they aren't well trained, fumbling hands and shaky grips, and you're finally able to reach your holster, shooting the first between the eyes before you can even glimpse his face. now you're in your element, adrenaline covering the pain of your ankle as you fight back, shooting one after the other, digging out your knife for close combat. it's over in a blink, the men no match for your skills, and once you double check they're dead, you collapse in the corner, the pain of your ankle roaring. that's when you hear it.

"baby?" it's him (but it can't be). he's never called you that. you pretend not to see when he whispers it into your neck as you feign sleep, when he murmurs it in a grunt as he's deep in your cunt. he's never said it to your face. "baby!" it's definitely him, that gruff voice cutting across the fog. you whine out of frustration, your throat too sore from your attacker to call out. instead, you limp to the door, almost running into simon as he comes crashing into your own personal hell. he sweeps you into his arms and you let him, grabbing his shoulders to make sure he's real.

"y' hurt?" he takes a look around the room, at the carnage in your wake. "my brave girl." you're sobbing, unsure whether its from frustration or relief. still can't believe you got caught, feeling like such a stereotype to have your knight in shining armor rescue you. "handled them all y'rself, hm, baby?" he's all sweetness and it hurts, seeing his eyes swell in pride as he takes in the four dead men, gunshots and a knife sticking out of one's eye. "why- why are you calling me that, simon?" he's ushering you out, your arm around his neck as you limp towards freedom. "proud of you." he says it simply, eyes trained on potential threats, not watching your reaction.

"aye, i told you, gaz. ye owe me a drink." soap's voice crackles through the comms. they were on. which meant your team heard the whole thing, heard simon practically claim you, knew you were together, thought you were a slu- "she's too good for him. i don't believe it." gaz's voice replied. "bugger off." simon grumbled into the mic, the sounds of them snickering loud and clear. "good?" he turned back at you, stopping you before you approached the clearing where your team waited. his eyes told you something different, that he'd walk out of here right now if you wanted. the cock of his head meant he'd follow you anywhere, live off the lamb for decades if you wanted. that was all you needed to know. you nodded and pushed forward. "yeah, i'm good, baby."

--

this is SO CRINGE but it's been in my drafts forever and needed to start paying rent

[akimoroll]

giving in to the love.

chapter 5. love letter from the sea to the shore

chapter index: 1 — 2 — 3 — 4 | read the entire thing on ao3

nagumo yoichi x afab!reader—wc 5.9k—alternate universe

!! mentions of abuse. death. alcoholism. a bit of suicidal ideation. highschool flashbacks yada yada. mdni.

I think I loved you

In another life

Where I was the sea

And you were the shore

Happiness will find me, eventually. That’s what you kept telling yourself when you thought you had it all figured out: Get a degree, secure a well paying job and live independently. But to your dismay, life remained devoid of its meaning.

You repeatedly found yourself questioning the reason why you keep trying to fit into spaces that were never meant for you, leaving you with aches and pains as morning coffee turned to liquor, gradually turning yourself into the last person you wanted to be.

Solitude has always been your constant companion.

But it weighed heavy sometimes so you let strangers with rough careless hands have their way with you. They mirrored how you maintained your guard, a silent understanding, an invisible wall that prevented anything true. From a safe distance, you sought satisfaction without letting anyone get too close, leaving you feeling more hollow and lonelier than before.

Your fingers constantly ached, yet somehow you couldn't bring yourself to let go as you continuously dug through the earth, searching, always searching. What were you looking for? Or were you burying something down?

Maybe it was a bit of both.

A bitter realization settled over you—your heart would always yearn for a home that you could never have, a sense of belonging that would always remain out of reach. There was nothing here for you, nothing to hold on to. You wanted to escape… to where? And from what? And it hurts. It hurts so so much.

The universe seemed to have a twisted sense of humor, tossing one hurdle after another, almost as though life’s challenges were keeping you stubbornly alive—your father had fallen ill and you played caretaker with his family despite your distant relationship with them. After years of putting your mother’s feelings and impulsive behaviors before yourself, a habit of prioritizing others above your own became second nature to you.

The year ticked by slowly, each day dragging along until the phone call brought news of your mother's passing. It was confusing. Should you be relieved? Should you grieve? You didn’t know how you should feel. Your mind went eerily quiet knowing that you weren’t hers to torment any longer.

Being your mother’s only child, you felt responsible to go back to your childhood home to take care of matters regarding her death. You just had to get it over and done with as soon as possible, to not stay longer than you should, careful not to reopen old wounds. But fate had its way of taunting you as you ran into familiar faces, resulting in an unexpected turn of messy events.

Like great memories under a pile of bad ones, like rediscovering something you once cherished pushed back in the farthest corner of your shelf, and even though the air was heavy with dust that could suffocate, you couldn’t help but feel a spark had ignited. You found yourself hopeful again.

Maybe life isn’t so bad after all?

However, hope is a dangerous thing for you. Because once you put it all back in its proper place, once you go back to your life, to your reality, it will once again send you inevitably spiraling down.

But maybe you just have to stay long enough until the love you craved and kept begging for falls right into your cup? There, in Nagumo’s arms, you became someone else. Someone more like yourself.

Has it always been this easy with him? You fit just right, you belonged. Struck by his absence all this time, you allowed yourself to lean onto him. You wanted him more than you wanted to live, and he held you like it’s the safest you have ever been.

As much as you longed for his comfort, a subtle fear gnawed at you. He felt all too familiar, all too close, as if a tiny spark could ignite a wildfire between you, terrified of the thought you’d burn him down with you. And in the same manner, he was intense, like his lips were breathing fire onto your skin, yet it didn't sting. His warmth soothed so many parts of you, like you were seated by a fireplace, all snug and cozy with a thick soft blanket wrapped around you after being out in the snow all day.

It was disorienting. You didn’t know what to do with him.

Could it be that you were simply conditioned to resist gentleness when it appears in a shape that felt too kind? When it hits fast but lands too soft, does that scare you away? Or were you scared of the thought that if he looked too closely and found nothing, he’d walk away?

Because when you spend your life being told you’re not good enough, that you ruin everything you lay your hands on, that you’re hard to love—you start believing it as the truth.

As you reflected on your past, a question lingered in your mind: was it because you were too lost in your own thoughts, driven by struggle to try to make sense of it all, or was it because you were simply too young and naive? Life had a knack for being unkind to you, but amidst it all, Nagumo was there—everything that was good seemed inexplicably intertwined with him.

The photograph of you, this ring… What does this all mean? Was he there that day? Was he the one who did that for you?

You had set to finally end it, it was supposed to be when you visited the beach for the first time in years. Feeling envious of its departure, the sunset stared back at you, as if it were mocking your desire to say goodbye.

Your thoughts drifted with the wind as it mingled with the beach’s crystal clear turquoise water, reminiscent of the graceful dance of her locks whenever she pulled your hand in hers.

Hey Rion, leave some ciggies for me up there, ‘kay?

///

“She’s going to drop out,” Taro announced, handing one of the two pork buns to Nagumo before taking a seat beside him on a bench overlooking the soccer field.

Nagumo, his mouth half full, asked, “Who is?” taking a bite of the bun and murmuring how hot it is.

“Who else?” Taro spoke up, swallowing a mouthful of food before continuing, “She talked to me on the way here.”

In response, Nagumo simply hummed, not wanting to worsen what he was already feeling.

Taro snuck a quick glance at Nagumo before continuing, “She's heading off with her dad, got a plane ticket and everything. She said she couldn't bring herself to approach you, so she asked me to tell you secretly.”

Nagumo paused mid chew, “Secretly?” he echoed, a hint of surprise in his voice.

“Yeah.”

Nagumo blinked in surprise, wondering since when did his best friend develop an interest in gossip. Confused, he asked, “Then why are you telling me?”

Taro took a moment to think before reminiscing about his last conversation with Rion, recalling how she was the one doing most of the talking.

I’m so bored… They've been avoiding each other like the plague.

Listen, Sakamoto, they’re idiots. What if I talk her into it, and you with Nagumo. Let’s see who confesses first?

Or maybe we could lock them in a room together? That’s easier.

No?

Alright, whatever.

Taro let out a silent groan at the idea of being involved in someone else's lovelife when he can’t even progress with his own. He didn't believe in ghosts, but Akao was a force to be reckoned with. He didn't want her haunting him down in his dreams for not fulfilling her trivial but well intended request. He smiled inwardly at her memory before replying to Nagumo, “Slip of the tongue.”

Taro saw how your absence deeply affected Nagumo and in his own way of showing affection for his best friend, he made sure he kept “slipping” even years later.

He made sure to tell Aoi to invite you to the reunion the moment he spotted you walking in their store.

He slipped up again when he invited Nagumo to come over and see you.

He was the one who suggested that Nagumo follow you outside when everyone was occupied at the pub.

Finally, he slipped one last time, assuring everyone that he didn’t see anything when he was supposed to call you both back inside, even though he saw the two of you leaving together. Taro mused, “Akao, looks like I win this round.”

All those slip ups kept Nagumo’s gears turning.

During those early years, he clung onto a slender thread of hope, believing that it must have meant something. Maybe you hadn’t meant what you said, and perhaps you did feel the same way about him. He wrestled his thoughts for countless nights, feeding off that tiny glimmer of hope from that detail, until it became too heavy to carry.

Maybe he should have confessed sooner? He had planned to tell you that he liked you during that afternoon walk from school, a week after his birthday. As he strolled along with you, his long legs moved deliberately slowly, trying to savor every moment he had with you. When you insisted he had to walk you home because you had “something for him”, he feigned annoyance, even though he secretly enjoyed the extra time with you.

“My mom’s not home yet. Do you want to come in for a bit?”

You spoke so casually as if inviting him in was a completely natural thing for you to do. Though he tried to keep his cool, his heart betrayed him as it pounded inside his chest.

“Here… I baked you sweets for your birthday.”

“But my birthday was like, last week?”

“Take this as my apology for the stunt I pulled that day,” you mumbled, a faint blush on your cheeks.

“Oh, that…” he replied softly, “It’s okay. You can tell me anything.”

You swallowed before responding quietly, “Same here.”

He asked, his voice barely above a whisper, “Anything?”

You nodded, “Anything.”

A sudden silence descended, and you found yourselves looking at each other without uttering a word. Finally, you broke the stillness by playfully shoving a cookie into his mouth, aiming to lighten the heavy air between you.

“Now eat it and tell me it’s good!”

Of course he playfully acted like he was resisting just so he could hold your hand, but eventually conceded, leaving crumbs all over his cheeks and the corners of his lips. Then, there it was, the most delightful sound to his ears—your laugh.

He almost confessed at that very moment, and you nearly did the same. Yet both of you were content with how things stood, each hesitant to take a leap and face uncertainty. The chances kept coming after that but neither of you took it, unsure about each other’s true feelings, scared of each other’s what ifs.

He left your house that day with his head in the clouds and a smile playing on his lips as he remembered that moment with you. You had suggested he share them with Akao, but he secretly decided to keep them all to himself. He always had a sweet tooth but these were especially different, he almost didn’t want to eat it. It was so sweet, maybe a little too much just because you made it for him.

He continuously replayed those details in his mind, analyzing the gaps in timing, wondering what he could have said and done differently or if he should have said anything at all, just for him to come to the conclusion that you were always meant to leave, constantly seeking a means to escape, and he resented it.

“I want to get out of here. Buy myself a house big enough for me and the cats I’ll pick up from the streets. Somewhere quiet and close to nature. In the countryside or a house by the beach, maybe?”

“What about dogs?”

“Dogs? Uhh… I’d love to have dogs too but… They’re too…clingy. They follow you around, and demand a lot of affection. Plus… I’d feel bad leaving them for work or doing my own thing, you know?”

“And cats are not? You could have both and they’d keep each other company.”

“But what if they fight while I’m gone? That poor dog doesn't have claws as sharp as cats.”

“They’re loyal and they form deep bonds… That dog will forgive the cat, just so they can cuddle again after, don’t you think?”

“Hey, cats do that too in their own way! They’re just… subtle about it. But alright, point taken, Mr. Animal Planet. Where is this going?”

“Just looking for ideas.”

“About what? Pets?”

“Ha-ha, very funny. I mean ‘ten years from now’ kind of ideas.”

“Tch, you’ll be fine. You and your big brain have a whole life ahead of you.”

“Don’t you think there’s something missing with yours?”

“What do you mean? I just told you everything.”

“So that’s it? That’s your master plan?”

“Hey! Now you’re being mean!”

But he wasn’t trying to be mean. He hated how he wasn’t a part of it and couldn’t do anything about it. He hated it so much that pieces of him died when you left. He just had to convince himself that you were both too young, and what he had for you was simply a foolish teenage infatuation with shared trauma just to lessen his misery.

“What could I possibly do?” He repeatedly told himself, like a mantra of denial.

He tried to tell himself that keeping his feelings under wraps would be as simple as focusing on studying and sports, but fragments of you and the sound of your voice seemed to follow him everywhere. During late nights spent studying for exams, he found himself dwelling on your face, the way your eyebrows scrunched together when he used to help you with homework and how your face lit up—he just had to look away—when you exclaimed, “Ah! I get it!”

Going to college made everything a bit bearable. Being away from home and meeting new people gave him the chance to start over. Romance wasn’t something he was initially interested in but it came easy with the way girls threw themselves at him. Some for fun and some with the willingness to make it last. However, he was caught in this constant loop of wishing for a different reality, something familiar, somewhere with you in it.

Some distractions that were supposed to take his mind off things, brought forth memories of cozy sleepovers with you, Rion and Taro—staying up in the wee hours of the night to watch horror flicks with chips and popcorn scattered all over the carpeted living room floor. He was jealous of the pillow you tightly clung onto that he pretended to be scared just so he could squeeze himself next to you. But no horror movie could ever prepare him from the shock he felt when you got startled and snaked your arm around his own.

He frequently reminisced about the time he followed you to the kitchen to help you cook a mountain of instant noodles while the two were immersed in a game. Seizing the moment, he viewed it as a chance to get to know you more, perhaps dig some secrets just the two of you could share. He asked jokingly, “How about we play a game too? 21 questions?”

Caught up in the moment of reaching for each other’s hearts through fits of laughter and lingering stares hidden behind questions and answers, you and him couldn't help but fall silent when your chopsticks hit the bottom of the stainless steel pot and realized you had eaten the entire thing meant for the four of you. Together, you fabricated an excuse that he had unintentionally tipped the noodles into the sink.

“All of it?” asked Taro, with disbelief in his voice.

Nagumo confirmed, “Yes, all of it.”

Rion smirked, her arms crossed, “Why the swollen lips?”

“It was spicy!” You panicked and exclaimed.

Rion nodded, feigning ignorance, “Oh? I thought you two were making out.”

“So you two ate it all,” Taro deduced, before you could deny it.

“Alright, fine. Half of it spilled.” Nagumo grinned, his focus shifting to your increasingly reddening ears. Holding back a chuckle, hoping that Rion’s guess was the case.

Who would’ve thought what was initially driven by curiosity, will turn into a secret starry-eyed crush, and turn into something way deeper than that? While you thought you were seamlessly blending in the background, he could easily spot you in plain sight, like the moment he saw you again years after high school.

He was strolling along the shoreline, his hair dancing with the wind and his feet sinking into the soft sand as the waves rolled in and out of the beach. He paused periodically to capture photographs of the natural beauty around him—the sunset, the waves, until his viewfinder settled at an old couple sitting together. His smile widened as he examined his shots.

Contemplating whether to take another snap, he zoomed in. Something caught his eye. At first, he didn’t quite grasp what it was. But when he finally lowered the camera from his face and looked with his own eyes, time stood still with his heart stuck in his throat.

There you were, in his eyes, all the beauty surrounding him was compressed and stored within you alone.

How could he mistake you? Watching you from a distance was all he had known.

You were radiant as ever with your hair flowing effortlessly with the wind while the sunset painted soft kisses on your face of blush pink and orange hues, wishing it was him kissing you.

All the emotions and feelings that were interwoven with memories of you that he thought he had drowned, surfaced like it all happened hardly a day ago, making the illusion of time completely irrelevant—he could feel as if his life was starting again.

His heart raced in his chest, his breathing caught in his throat. He wanted nothing more but to go near you. But one of his colleagues called out to him, “Let’s go, man. The clients wanted to discuss something for tomorrow’s wedding over dinner.”

Nagumo mumbled reluctantly, “I’ll catch up in a bit.”

He didn’t want to go. He wanted to come over to you, to ask you how you’ve been—has life been kinder to you these days? Did your plans work out the way you wanted to?

However, his thoughts were briefly interrupted again when they spoke once more, “Can I borrow your camera? It's a pain to head back to the hotel to get mine.”

He handed it over without much thought, wanting them to leave as quickly as possible.

As he gradually moved further away from the sea, he continued gazing at you, unable to tear his eyes away. You still had this pull on him—reminiscent of how the shore effortlessly tug the ocean waves back to it as if it belonged there—you had him all along.

He reasoned against moving any closer to you. You looked like you were at peace and he didn’t want to disturb you. Given all the intertwined memories you had with him, he wasn’t sure if you would be happy to see him. If only he could grasp what was going through your mind at that very moment.

He wished he could take a photo of you again. The one he had of you was outdated and hidden away. The one he took moments before his first kiss, where he foolishly believed he had messed everything up.

Luckily, he happened to have his instant camera tucked away in his pocket. But your face wasn’t in the frame anymore. This’ll do, he reassured himself as he immortalized you once again.

Interestingly enough, in the same year, an opportunity to see you again emerged. He wasted no time and rushed back home. What were the odds? Life is full of tricks, so why not make his own? He walked by a jewelry store at the airport and had an impulsive thought.

While he was well aware of the rumors circulating about him being a married man within his social circle, he neither confirmed nor denied them. He took satisfaction in keeping people on their toes. He hadn't anticipated that the whole charade would come in handy someday so he purchased a ring. He wanted to test something.

First, he had to keep his cool and keep a certain distance, he had it all planned out. Only for your face to light up in his presence, melting his facade away. Perhaps some things never change, but maybe some do—he has grown brave enough to not look away from the glow you didn’t know you had in you.

Then, he got to embrace you as you cried your heart out. He felt everything all at once, it was bittersweet. The sweetness came from you leaning onto him, but also the bitter realization that you were still broken and dealing with the pain. Still, you were unfolding your arms and letting him in, and he thought of all the trouble he was willing to go through for a second time if it meant he could hold you like this one moment more.

You mentioned the idea of leaving so he secretly slipped the picture he took of you in the pocket of your coat. He wasn’t prepared to say goodbye, but you changed your mind and he caught a glimpse of an expression he had seen from you before, something he had grown to learn—your silent calls for help. But it had become so loud, as though you were finally begging him to be drained from the pain you’ve soaked yourself in. He doubted himself for a moment, could this be a dream? But your face said otherwise, causing all the years of bottled up emotions to come pouring down in front of you.

All his feelings and pent up desires once were hidden away, now laid bare. He was now able to touch you and when your touch mirrored his own affection, he was forcefully flung back to the days of being a lovesick sixteen year old boy. He relished himself with the feeling of being truly needed by you. Except he wasn’t a boy anymore, he could only do what little he could back then. He was now willing to carry the weight with you, to bleed alongside you should you allow him.

Heaven always seemed so out of reach, but suddenly it came crashing down, knocking the breaths out of your lungs. Like a suffocating gray cloud finally freeing the two of you with its rain. What he couldn’t say, he showed. And it was desperate, like a fervent orison, hoping you could see yourself the way he sees you. But for a moment in between, greed overcame him—could it truly be unacceptable for a thought to cross his mind, that maybe, just maybe, if he clipped your wings, it’d keep you from leaving?

But the last thing he wanted was to hurt you. Even if you asked him, he wouldn’t be able to. He wanted to be your solace, not a means of escape and not someone you felt compelled to flee from. He’d squeeze himself through the smallest eye of a needle if it meant he could fix whatever it was that needed mending, but he was just as broken as you. Perhaps you could be two torn pieces next to each other and he’d just stitch himself with you.

He held onto you tightly, whispering sweet promises while you slept. But just like sand, the stronger he grips, the faster you’d slip between the gaps of his fingers. That’s bullshit—he mused, while slipping the ring on your hand—You can leave but I’ll never let you forget about me.

He was awake when you left, unable to sleep a wink. And before getting out of bed, he rolled over, inhaling your scent on his pillow and sheets, his fingers clutching to nothing. He had already mourned the possibility of you leaving without returning when he was watching you softly and delicately sleeping next to him. You broke his heart once, he’d let you do it again, thinking he had always been yours, although it seemed like you were never his.

That was why when he opened the door after he heard a few anxious knocks, he was taken aback seeing you return, panting like you had been running. His eyes still swollen and his voice hoarse, he uttered, “You’re here.”

You’re here.

Those were also his words when he saw you again at the reunion, hoping you’d remember when it was you who said that during that one summer evening by the shore. It was close to midnight and he was feeling restless, so he decided to go for a walk. His mind wandered to earlier, thinking what could have been if he approached you. And as if his feet had a mind of its own and knew where to find you, he saw you once again. But this time, it didn’t feel like yourself, you were drunk out of your mind and dangerously close to the sea.

He rushed over to you and pulled you into his arms, your eyes squinted to get a better look at his face before letting out a soft giggle. He frowned, his frustration evident, “What do you mean ‘you’re here’?! Do you even know who I am?”

You leaned your entire weight onto him, almost hugging him with your hands clutching the back of his summer polo. Your eyes were closed with your cheek squished against his chest as you slur your words, “Of course, silly. Can’t forget that face even if I wanted to.”

His expression softened, his voice calmer, “Really now? And if I take advantage of you, then what?” murmuring how drunk you are.

You giggled, voice sounding slow, “You wouldn’t dare… You’re the sweetest…ever.”

He breathed deeply to calm himself and took everything in him to not take you back to his hotel room to keep you all to himself.

So he asked, in a firm manner, “Which hotel are you staying at? I’ll take you back there.”

“…purse…keycard…” you mumbled, grunting in between.

“What? What purse?”

Before he could get an answer you had already passed out, covering yourself with vomit in which he swiftly dodged. He grimaced, overwhelmed with disgust but quickly replaced with concern.

He was practically drenched in sweat when he reached your suite. With every step, he muttered to himself, “What the fuck am I doing… really…”

He tended to you gently, changing you out of your summer dress and wiping you down. There you were, right in front of him, and yet he couldn’t even speak to you. The thought of you not remembering him when you woke up almost sent him over the edge.

As he gently rested your head on the pillow, he took a moment to gaze at your sleeping figure. You were quiet and looked so calm while frustration welled up inside him, like something was conspiring to keep you apart. He frowned, his eyes distant, thinking, “Why can’t it just be normal between us?”

His heart ached at your words as he was pulled away from his thoughts, “Don’t go,” you murmured half asleep.

He ran his fingers through your hair, reasoning with himself that he has an early shoot the next day. Staying the night wasn’t an option either, worried that you wouldn’t be too happy about it if you woke up next to him. He spoke quietly, careful not to disturb your slumber, “I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay?”

You nodded, making his heart squeeze. He cooed, “Will you wait for me?”

A short soft hum escaped your lips as you succumbed yourself completely to sleep.

However, the next morning came and you were spooked as you tried to made sense of the situation. You had woken up wearing a fresh bathrobe, your surroundings tidy and when you stepped inside the bathroom, you found your dress from the night before, damp and hanged properly. All the empty bottles of alcohol and the sleeping pills intended for overdose were all gone.

Confused and disoriented, you left immediately without knowing Nagumo was with you that night and saved your life.

///

Your words trailed off as you took in his words, revealing everything to you, “My god, that’s a lot. I don’t- That was so embarrassing. I’m sorry-” your mind reeling with realization, you continued, “I didn’t realize… I don’t remember.”

Unconsciously, you grabbed the knife sitting on the table when he set a round vanilla cake adorned with strawberries in front of you.

He gently placed his hand on top of yours, guiding you to cut the first slice. He comforted you with a soft smile, reassuring you, “It's alright.”

The two of you held your gaze at the slice of cake in silence as he slid it in front of you before asking, your voice quiet, “Aren’t you tired of doing this, Yoichi?”

He swallowed the lump in his throat as he questioned, “Doing what?” thinking, here we go again.

With a faltering voice, you said, “This. Everything. This isn’t fair to you.”

He closed his eyes in resignation, before opening them again and asking, “When was it ever fair?”

You finally looked at him and leaned closer, almost begging, “You’ve been so good to me and all I do is- You know, with Rion and you saw it, right? You saw what was happening to me and—”

He interrupted you with a huff, his tone almost humorous, yet his expression said otherwise, “You’ve already done damage, there's nothing to ruin here anymore if it isn’t obvious already. I’m not even trying to fix you if that’s what you think this is. Maybe I’m just as fucked up as you are at this point.”

Caught off guard by his passive aggression, you paused, carefully considering your words before speaking again, “What if I get worse? You’d realize halfway you don't want anything to do with me.” You reached out and touched his forearm resting on the table, gently nudging him, the cake remained untouched.

His gaze finally met yours, frustration and sadness welling up in his eyes as he stated firmly, “Be as messed up as you want to be and I'll stay right here. I’ve seen it all and wanted you just the same, if anything, I want you even more. There’s nothing you could do to push me away anymore.”

You retracted your hand and covered your face with it, tears threatening to spill over, “It’s gonna be hard… I’m difficult. You saw it first hand and you’d eventually hate me for it.”

He shifted and pulled your chair closer to himself so he could fully face you. He gently removed your hands from your face as he lowered his voice to a gentler tone, “So what if you’re difficult? When was it ever easy anyway? It was already hard being away from you. Why stop now? We can be two fuck ups together. Is that what you want? Will that make you stay?”

Your shoulders slumped as he held both your hands, you whispered, “No, Yoichi. You’re doing great and I’m so so proud of you… I mean, look at this house and everything that’s going for you. Last night was a mistake, I’ll just make you unhappy and unsatisfied, and you don’t deserve that…”

He sighed, dismissing your concerns, “Can you for once not think about what you think is good for me, and quit being a hypocrite? You say this to me and you show me something completely different. I can’t keep doing this with you.” Taking your hands, he held them against his cheeks, leaning into the comforting warmth of your palms. With a pleading expression, he softly uttered your name, “I know you felt it, I know I did. You wanted it just as badly even though you believed I was married.”

You avoided his gaze, his last word lingering in the air. He was right. You looked at the slice of cake resting prettily on the table, contemplating the uncertainty of the situation.

He interjected, “See?” his voice seeking your eyes once more, pleading, “That didn't stop you then, so why do you keep lying to yourself?”

You smiled in reply, your lips trembling, “I have a life back there, and you have yours here. I can’t just stay here with you.”

His thumb traced comforting circles against the back of your hands as he gently reassured, “I know you’d say that. You don’t have to worry about that.”

You laughed softly, “I don’t even wanna know what you mean by that.”

He responded with a firm squeeze, his tone serious yet laced with mischief, “If you’re planning to get away from me again, I’ll follow you to the ends of earth.” Playfully, he glared, “Consider it a warning.”

A tearful chuckle escaped you as you wondered aloud, “You’re an idiot… What am I gonna do with you?”

His expression softened as he said quietly, “We can…” he then released you, carefully scooping up a small spoonful of cake and gently placing it in your mouth, gently wiping away your tears with his thumb.

“We can figure it out together. Laugh about it like we used to. And if you ever feel lonely, you can squeeze beside me. We can be lonely together… until we no longer are. Hm?”

You pondered for a while before asking him, “Don’t I have a say in this?”

“Nope, you’re out of turns,” He answered almost immediately, shaking his head with a grin, “I already let you have your way and I didn’t complain, and it went shit.”

“So you went ahead and tricked me instead?”

“Well,” he shrugged, back to his usual smug grin, “You always fall for it.”

You scoffed at him before chuckling as you playfully pushed a spoonful against his nose and then shoved it straight into his mouth, both of you sharing a hearty laugh with tears in your eyes.

Despite the fact of it being familiar, you never really acquired the taste for desserts. But as you let the smoothness melt in your mouth, you pondered—you can always learn to love the sweetness of it, to get used to it. And then indulging yourself and giving in to it may not be so bad after all.

ACT ## (extras)

INT. COFFEE SHOP – SUMMER

OSARAGI is scrolling through instagram, enjoying iced coffee with SHISHIBA on a hot afternoon.

OSARAGI

(gasped)

Hey, I think Nagumo just got married.

SHISHIBA

(skeptical)

Is that so?

OSARAGI

(showing her phone screen)

Look, he never updates his instagram. This is his first time ever, so it must be real. And oh, a beach wedding.

OSARAGI (CONT’D)

(cringing)

There's also a ridiculously cheesy caption under it, claiming he has finally found his ‘my heart’s only beat’ on a tropical island.

SHISHIBA

I didn’t see him as the type to say such… clichés.

Everyone, even Nagumo, believed the news. The exception being Sakamoto.

a/n: if you made it this far, idk what to tell you but congrats???for putting up???with me???? (esp with the first two chap…i cringe to some parts of it but ehhhhh oh well lmao) and thank you so so so so much for reading. ♥︎ the amount of revisions i did for over a month fried my brain a little methinks…yeah please kiss me on the forehead…platonically? romantically? sexually??? i don’t mind

epilogue? maybe. when? idk. therapy? YES (─‿‿─)

PS. if you see me getting manipulated by a 6’3 tall dude with jet black hair and tattoos, don’t save me. i’m right where i want to be.

[marymarvels-blog]

Did I cross the line? | 2,906 words

Evan Buckley/ Eddie Diaz

Once during their regular therapy sessions, Frank asked him.

“Do you think you’re a good person?”

His immediate answer, that startle even him, was..

“Of course no.”

In amusement, Frank just hummed and wrote something in his notebook and then immediately changing the theme. Seemed like even his psychologist was shocked because never in two years Frank changed the theme of their conversation so suddenly. Maybe that’s because they have less than 2 minutes before the end of that session, Eddie doesn’t know.

He was himself weirded by his such a fast answer.

But after thinking about it, it made sense.

He never even thought about the possibility of being somehow a good person. When Shannon left him, except from his heart hurting, he somehow felt at ease.

It’s good that she left, he will not longer be able to hurt her, she will start living a better life. Any life is better without him.

They were sitting at Buck’s apartment, at his new couch, that Eddie specifically helped him to choose. His back was pressed against Buck while his arm rested at his best friend’s leg. It was weird position, but it felt amazing.

After the gruesome shift they needed to feel each other, even if it wasn’t the most common position to be in with your best friend, who can judge them?

Eddie looked above to see Buck looking at the screen with wide eyes and then laughing shaking his head.

It took him surprisingly only 4 years, which for Eddie is not too long, (giving that he only now realised that he is in love with his best friend), that joining 118 was the best and the worst decision of his life. He knew he wanted to help people and he didn’t regret becoming a firefighter, just..

If it wasn’t 118, he wouldn’t be able to find a family..wouldn’t be able to hurt people he loves. His ugliness inside of him was contagious and he knew somehow unintentionally he would hurt them all.

If he would tell even a bit of that to Buck, that man would make his life mission to prove him otherwise. Eddie could bet he would sleep at the floor near his bed if that would help Eddie to get rid of his thoughts and not be alone. Because it’s Buck, he is always like that. Always so caring.

Each day it was even harder, because even just closing his eyes made Eddie picturing Buck’s smile, Buck’s excitement, every Buck’s little movement.

After Shannon’s death he wasn’t himself. He wasn’t even sure that he was alive. And it was Buck who made sure that Eddie was eating, that Eddie wasn’t alone, that Chris was getting his homework done and had a shoulder to cry on if he needed. It had been him who ever so often reassured Eddie that he’s safe, that he’s not going away, that he will be here as long as Eddie needed him.

At that moments Eddie more desperate than ever wanted to answer “Always. I always need you.”

But it would be selfish. It would be selfish to have Buck only to himself. He loves Buck. And how couldn’t he?

How couldn’t he be in love with Buck? Buck, who is doing everything in his power and even more to make sure everyone is alright, Buck who is helping every person he sees needing help. Buck, who’s heart Eddie’s sure is bigger than the Solar System itself.

Sometimes Eddie thinks he is dreaming. In rare moments after he joked about something or as always got Buck’s back at the argument between him and Chimney, he catches Buck’s look and for a second glimps he thinks, he think he sees adoration in his eyes. As though it was Eddie who put all the stars at the sky and not Buck who showed him the light in everything.

Eddie couldn’t believe that Buck is still has his back. Eddie is damaged Earth, which is ruining itself, and Buck is a Sun who is against all the physics laws orbiting around him, threatening to burn it each time it came close to the Earth.

Buck, who is hugging him every time they meet before their shift.

Buck who is blushing after someone praised him.

Buck who is jumping excitedly after reading some new facts about ants and desperately waits to tell them to Eddie.

Buck thinks Eddie doesn’t remember what have happened the day he was shot, but unfortunately it’s not the truth. He remembers Buck’s strong arms, his face, him trembling arms and not so covered tears in his eyes, the strain of his voice when he heard Eddie asking him if he’s okay? And how couldn’t he?

It was him who made Buck feeling like that. It was one of the first times when he hurt Buck. And, unfortunately, not the last. These thoughts, these images left Eddie having miserable nights.

If Eddie was a good man he wouldn’t be laying in that position with his best friend. He’s not sure there is some protocol for how best friends should be laying but he’s almost sure there are some unspoken rules that if your best friend has a boyfriend you should not lay in his arms full of hope while he is stroking your hair.

Every night since he found out that Buck and Tommy are dating he promised himself that he will try to be a good friend. If he can’t be a good person maybe he could try to be a good friend. He would do anything for Buck.

But he was a really selfish person. Knowing that Buck is with Tommy , knowing that Tommy is genuinely a really good boyfriend and maybe «the one» for Buck, he still selfishly layed in Buck’s arms catching his smiling gasp as he rolled his eyes when the main character found out that he has a twin.

The only one thing that відділяла його від emotional breakdown was how Buck seemed happy and calm when they were hugging. It was enough confirmation for egoistical mind of his.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen more stupid and obvious plot twist” huffed Buck.

“Funny, you just didn’t seen yet “my heart goes to frog” where the main character dies and become a frog” Eddie is snorting seeing Buck’s reaction. God how he loves this man.

Buck looked at him with horror and disbelief.

“You’re lying, you just made it up”, he wasn’t so sure of it but still couldn’t believe that this is possible.

“No, seriously if you want I can turn it on”, Eddie said starting to get up but Buck held him back with his arms laughing and shaking his head, still being in disbelief.

“Don’t, we’re so cozy I don’t want you to get up”, If Eddie wasn’t so shocked he would make an exciting squeak because it was the second confirmation and his brain like a Cheshire Cat happily accepted. Buck enjoys their physical contact as much as he loves it and it drives him crazy.

All these overwhelming feelings made him nervous which in fact made kind of nauseous. Or maybe it was the fact that not 20 minutes ago he ate the whole pizza.

But it doesn’t matter. Fuck nausea, he’s happy.

At that exact moment, he felt vibration on his left pocket.

His phone’s screen sparkled with numerous notification.

Eddie furrowed his brows and opened them.

It was Chimney. Okay? What does he need at the Fridays nighy at- he checks- 12 pm?

«BUCK IS SINGLE»

«HE BROKE UP WITH TOMMY TODAY»

«ITS YOUR CHANCE»

He was startled to say at least. Frozen for more time that he would like to acknowledge. In his defence he needed to process a lot of information while his mind was working full time at 2x speed. Why didn’t Buck tell him anything? Is he okay? Why did they break up?

Seeing that Eddie has read his messages Chimney started to sending him hundreds of question marks.

Quickly looking into Buck he wrote.

«Even if it’s true he just broke up I can’t do it right now»

Milliseconds after he send that message, he got a whole paragraph ffrom Chim.

«I don’t care, ITS YOUR FUCKING CHANCE. Tomorrow he can meet someone else but now you HAVE THE FUCKING CHANCE. Press him to the fucking wall and kiss him already, Diaz. This is an order»

Not knowing how to respond to this, he wrote.

«woah woah it’s intense even for you chimney»

«sorry I heat bet 100 dollars that you will kiss Buck today»

woah wait WOAH WHAT

«CHIMNEY ARE YOU ACTUALLY INSANE»

«sorry sorry just joking»

Eddie doubts it. And now he needs to think what to do. Because Chimney really got into his head with all his messages. There’s a tense bubble in his stomach that tells him that he shouldn’t do it. Especially right now.

But the idea of telling him that and letting it go already made him wait in anticipation that was soaked in fear.

Everyone was telling him that his feelings aren’t one sided but the thing is..he always needs to know for sure. Especially with Buck. He knows with the wrong words or actions he will ruin everything they have together.

But Eddie was always known to be main destroyer of his own happiness.

Maybe..maybe there is really hope. Today he almost felt one.

With shaking hands he turned to look into Buck. Catching his look Buck’s eyes immediately softened.

Eddie was a man of action. Everyone told him that he needs to think twice before doing something. But it didn’t work for him.

He was staying at his shell or rushing with the whole speed. There is no in between. Today he chose the second one.

He turned into their weird hug so now he was facing Buck’s face who turned one eyebrow up at his actions.

Eddie is slowly breathing out, closing his eyes and when he opens them he sincerely looks at Buck, trying to see the answer at those big ocean eyes of his.

“Please tell me if my actions are inappropriate.”

“Eddie, wha-”

He didn’t give him the time to answer.

He stood up and in two movements crossed his legs so that now he was sitting completely on the Buck’s knees straddling Buck's hips with his legs. The Buck’s hands almost instinctively rested on his waist and only then did he realize what he was doing.

Giving himself 0 zero seconds to think about it, he immediately pressed his lips on top of Buck’s. Buck let out a shocked noise that turned into a quiet moans once Eddie’s eager mouth really started to kiss him.

At that moment Eddie felt like he was gonna throw up. Buck didn’t answer to his kiss oh my god, I’m fucking disgusting-before Eddie could spiral even more, Buck immediately answered him, deepening the kiss and taking more control over the situation.

Eddie was really 100% at control every second of his life, don’t trusting anyone to help him and give up some part of that obsessive need to control. But here he was, in the warmth of Bucks body, willingly give him all the control, fully trusting the other man. This is the unknown part of himself and he wants to explore right know with Buck.

And at the end of the day he had been always powerless against Buck, so with a quiet moan he opened his mouth.

He felt a little pushing and laid his head on the back of the couch where Buck was pressing him, happily and eagerly tracing Bucks body with his free arm.

If it wasn’t enough indication for Eddie, Buck’s almost soundless moans eased his anxiety and made him more confident in his actions.

Eddie himself surprisingly was letting out loud moans, which he didn’t even noticed he made, and after realising that he was making them, he thought he would die from an embarrassed.

But watching how it affected Buck, with him moaning louder after every sound that escaped Eddie’s mouth, he stopped caring and started deepening the kiss.

Buck smelled like home made lasagna and minty shower gel and this combination felt like home. Eddie felt extremely grateful that he was one of the people that get to see this side of Buck.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, their lips were separated, but Eddie didn’t give Buck a chance to separate (but if the way Buck is leaning to him is an indication of something he’s doubting he even wanted) pushing their foreheads together.

After the fog in his mind was cleared Eddie realised that he was basically laying on the couch with his legs around Buck’s body and feeling Buck’s weight on his body pressuring him just the right amount.

Suddenly, the weight on top of him was gone. Eddie looked in confusion and wanted to whine at the sudden loss of warm, but Buck was seeming to felt his misery, so he immediately took his arms lifted him up and put him back on his laps.

“if I lay on top of you like this I'm afraid I'll crush you”, explained Buck his actions, making Eddie blush.

It wasn’t a secret for anyone that after he fucked up with Shannon’s twin, he was really struggling and with that came apathy and for the first time in his life he was struggling with eating. If it wasn’t Buck who made sure Eddie ate at least one meal a day, he wouldn’t be eating at all.

So it shouldn’t be a shock for him that during the summer he lost nearly 40ibs getting from 200 to 160. Everyone at work noticed it and he had a long conversations with Bobby about it. But even with one meal a day he still was able to perform tasks and his strength even if it was affected by his poor life choices, still was at the top.

If it wasn’t this context Eddie would be pretty embarrassed that someone made this comment, but right now he likes that Buck was able to manhandle him with ease and that comment shoot a pleasurable pain in his lower abdomen.

“I would really liked that”, confidently said Eddie, knowing for sure.

Two twinkling eyes placed their full attention on him and Buck chuckled.

“Did you love it?” he asked before he could stop himself.

The most absurd question someone could ask a person who he is in love with. Wow, please someone teach Eddie how to shut his mouth.

Startled once more, Buck just kissed the corner of his lips.

“Amazing, 10/10, would recommend”, answered Buck in a flirtatious way.

“Recommend to whom?”, asked innocently Eddie. In this game two can play.

Buck eyes widened at realising what he just said.

“No, no, only me, recommend only to myself, anyone else back off”, he answered pressing a small kisses on Eddie’s face.

Still Eddie had no idea if all of that meant as much for Buck as it meant for him.

“Should we talk about.. this?”, carefully asked Buck as if he was afraid of something.

“Maybe later? It’s so cozy and I don’t wanna go into the depth how I fell in love with you”, murmured Eddie, melting under Buck’s lips.

In seconds only he realised what he just said and it felt like someone sucked all the oxygen from his lungs.

It seemed like Eddie could seen the way the tension coursing through Buck’s muscles after his words. Before easing away.

“Are you..in love with me?”, Buck asked quietly.

Taking a long, show breath he got the courage to look at Buck, but only for a brief moment.

“I-I think you heard it. There’s no need to gloom me. I told you that I’m sorry, okay? I know it was really selfish I know and I hate myself, I hate myself so freaking much, but I-”, Eddie began to ruffle his hair anxiously.

“Hey hey, Eds, shh look at me”, he was talking in the softest, soothing way possible, as he cupped his face and gently looked at him.

“I was just startled, okay? You know when you are in love with your best friend for years and you lost all the hope only to that said friend casually kiss you and say that he is in love with you. I just need time to process everything that has happened in the last 10 minutes, to realise that this is the reality but I can reassure you that I love you too”, and then he kissed his forehead.

The whole night he was on the verge of breakdown but that last kiss nearly sent him over the edge.

“-O-okay”, he said, a little uncertain, trying not to cry .

Mesmerising by Buck’s closeness he slowly raised his arm and dipped his fingers into Buck’s curly hair

“is that okay?”

Buck delightfully hummed.

“It’s more than okay. Everything. Perfect.”

Okay, maybe being a selfish person isn’t too bad. If that selfishness made Eddie kiss Buck and confess his feelings, maybe it was worth it.

Now that he has Buck’s chin under his head and warm hands at his waist, he thinks maybe he’s not bad person.

Or maybe he is.

But that doesn’t matter.

He just hopes Buck’s lightness is contagious and he will catch it.

[bullet-prooflove]

Botany: Angel Reyes x Reader

Tagging: @witches-unruly-heart @annetje @infinity-mars @danzer8705 @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @the-wandering-lunatic @anime-weeb-4-life @vannabanana1995 @multifandomloversworld @camelia35 @harperdoodle @queeniesdiary @laylasbunbunny @est1887 @briefpersonenemy @lilvampirina @creativitybeware @genius2050 @mortal--soul @buddinglinguist @spookyboogyuniverse @spaghettificationandpretzels @nu1freakshow @oureternalbond  @rubes2323

Angel always washes his sheets when he knows you’re coming over, there’s something about being surrounded by the scent of fresh laundry and you that completely ruins him. He finds he sleeps better in clean linen, and it becomes a weekly thing instead of fortnightly, even when the two of you haven’t made plans.

He drinks less these days, his fridge actually full of food instead of orange juice and beer because he likes to make you breakfast in the aftermath, sometimes you like to cook when you come over. He enjoys having you around, he looks forward to the nights where you’re his and only his.

There’s a domesticity to the relationship, one that he’s never allowed himself to have before. The women he’s been with since Luisa are fast and fleeting, a place to drown himself when the world becomes too much to bear, and he needs to lose himself.

It’s when he comes home to you, wrist deep in dirt, pulling weeds from the flower beds that line the front of his house that he realises how serious shit has got between the two of you.

“Sorry.” You tell him, using the back of your hand to brush a strand of your hair away from your face. “It’s been bothering me for a while.”

“Yea, no it’s fine.” He tells you, kneeling down and taking up residence next to you. He looks at you wearing one of his shirts thrown over a strap top and those Levi’s that fit you just right. You’re completely in your element, your face streaked with soil, hair tied back as you work. His lover, the kush farmer, the gardener, the botanist.

“We need to prep the soil.” You tell him, letting the gritty, dry earth slip through your fingers. “All of this is devoid of nutrients, I’ll get some compost from the farm, maybe some manure from the horses up by Riz’s place, dig it out and liven it up a bit. Is that ok with you?”

“What will you grow?” His voice rough as he speaks because he’s never had someone so invested. He thinks it means that you’re here to stay because you know, he sure as shit has no fucking idea how to keep something other than himself alive.

“I was thinking we could choose something together.” You say, nudging your shoulder with his. “Play into your vibe, probably some succulents and cacti. I don’t think you’re a lilacs kinda guy, although they are a great pollinator, you’d probably end up with some butterflies and bees. They’re pretty good at smothering weeds too and the smell when summer hits…” You trail off, your cheeks colouring as you tilt your head to meet his gaze. “Sorry I’m getting ahead of myself. Your garden, your rules.”

Fuck you’re captivating to watch. He doesn’t know anything about this horticulture shit but for you it’s a passion, you light up when you talk about it, you’re in your element with your fingers in the earth. He doesn’t know what the hell he did to deserve you.

“I love you.” He blurts out suddenly and he expects you to be taken aback, to reel away from the force of the words that leave his mouth.

“I know,” You tell him, a smile gracing your features as you take in his surprised expression. “You think I don’t see it?”

He’s got nothing to say to that, he really hasn’t. He knows he’s not the most forthcoming of men, he plays his cards close to his chest when it comes to his feelings because he’s been burned before. However, he is impulsive, emotion driven, he feels deeply. He’s not surprised that it bleeds into his physical actions.

“The shit you do for me, it means the world. Making sure I eat in the morning, when you know I’m about to spend a day in the fields, giving me a ride home when I’m too tired to function, running a bath when you know I’m sore. I’ve never been with someone so attuned to me. So, yea, I love you too, and this…” you point at the flowerbed. “is my way of showing it. I’m just really shit at expressing myself, hence why I’m letting you pick the plants instead of just throwing myself into it.”

He laughs because what you don’t realise is that all of these things you’ve listed reflect the shit you do for him. The nights you hold him close in the darkness after he’s had a nightmare, hands soothing over his back as you whisper in his ear, the fact you know he always needs physical reassurance when the two of you are together. You never judge him for it, you never make him feel needy or clingy.

“C’mere.” He mutters, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and drawing you close. You smell like fresh earth, musky and rich, he buries his face in your hair, the contours of your body fitting perfectly against him.  “I love you and you can plant whatever the fuck you want.”

Love Angel? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[sunnikos]

Day 2: Stargazing

Hello! I am participating in Sskk Week 2024. This is day 2, enjoy!

Content Warnings: Major character death

Word Count: 1k

| Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7 |

There is nothing like a sunset. The day retires, and out comes crystalline fires, lighting the sky in tandem with the moon. As the sun kisses the skyline, Atsushi ponders their first night together, free of worry. Free of thought. Akutagawa’s dark eyes as he gazed out at the night sky filled with little far-away lights. Atsushi’s eyes are bright and brilliant like a sunset, and Akutagawa’s are inky blackness, like late nights after long days. Like the midnight sky. When Atsushi thinks for a few moments, he can connect everything to Akutagawa. To him, and Akutagawa.

They were destined to meet.

Their first night together was just like this one. Laid side by side, beholding the stars. Atsushi has always held an attachment to the moon, but Akutagawa felt like his connection to the sun. Akutagawa made his skin buzz, made him feel alive. At the same time, he’s hard to look at. It’s overwhelming to take in all the emotions he brings up with just a glance. So Atsushi looks up instead. Just as he did that night. Or every night, that they spent together.

Maybe they should have danced, that night.

On this hill, it may have been impossible, but falling down wouldn’t have been so bad. No music, no rhythm, no steady ground. Just like falling in love. A barrage of chaos. A lovely one, he may have looked back on such a memory if he had it, instead of his regrets. Should he dance now? Make this the memory? It may not be the same. Nothing ever is.

“Okay Ryuu, I’m gonna dance now. Join me?” Atsushi turns to his partner and waits a moment.

With no answer, he gets up and moves. There’s no beat, but he pretends there is. Like the metalic clank of his belt is the beat, even though it is him who is making it. His movement to the beat, the beat to his movement. It’s off kilter, nothing perfect in his flits across the grass.

There is no sound here, quiet nights like these offer no condolences. Atsushi is a bad dancer. He’s never practiced, so how could he be any good? He supposes he understands why they never danced that night. It wouldn’t have been the lack of music, or the uneven terrain that would taint the memory, but Atsushi’s uneasy footsteps. His silent tears, running down his face, and touching the earth. He would taint his own memories.

Still, he’s nostalgic.

He spins, and spins, and spins, as he loses his mind in the memory of what has and hasn’t happened yet. Circles and blurry vision. Eventually, his twirling meets him to the cold, unforgiving ground. Like the orphanage director. Like the people to abandoned him. Like himself. But wait… that isn’t true. Atsushi forgives, every day.

Oh, look. Fireflies.

It’s that time of year. Tonight really is different from the one he’s thinking about. Back then, it was only the starlight that lit the sky. Even the moon only gets its’ light from the sun. The yellow-green glow of the fireflies mixes with the luminous lights in the sky. The brightness is further distorted by Atsushi’s tears as he cries out.

Why couldn’t Akutagawa just… dance with him?

Atsushi loves him. Loves him like stained glass… and stained memories. Light could filter through their love, distorted by the color, and dyed as shines through. Stained by the glass, stained light. The metal borders were not strong enough. The piece is not broken, yet it is beyond repair. It has become dirty. If glass could rot, this one would have. This love. It has ended, but not yet died.

Dying is a funny thing. It happens to everyone. It unites all people, all life. Most things rot too. It’s only through human meddling that things aren’t fated to do so. That, and wildfires that get too hot. Likes a passionate first love. It’ll burn you clean of rot, it it gets hot enough.

It was a fight that took Akutagawa from him.

Just like always, they were fighting someone. Just like always, Akutagawa sacrificed himself. It wasn’t even a mission, they were stargazing. Out of nowhere, some friend of a man they put behind bars came to slaughter them. Atsushi’s hearing put a swift wrench in the plans of the enemy. He wasn’t even that powerful, Atsushi was going to get him, really. But Akutagawa must’ve heard him too. Guess the poor sod had loud feet.

Why couldn’t he trust Atsushi? Trust that he heard? That he would take care of it. Akutagawa went for him head on, gave away his element of surprise. Next they exchanged blows so quick Atsushi’s eyes could hardly follow the sight. He doesn’t know why he just sat there. He felt so helpless as they fought.

The man took a cheap shot, and like Akutagawa does, he blocked Atsushi with his body. Stabbed the man with Rashomon, and bled out. The enemy is incapacitated, but he breathes. Akutagawa swore it. That he would never kill.

Now Atsushi has no one to dance with.

And no one to forgive. Hard to forgive a dead man for dying. Even if he loves him. Loves him like the sky, the stars, the stained glass in that stupid goddamn cathedral they had in that wretched fucking orphanage. Atsushi was rarely allowed in there. Such a place is too beautiful some a creature like him. They told him he should go jump off a bridge and die. Jokes on them, he’s still alive. In spite of it all, here he is. On the ground. Next to the love of his life. Who is rotting, on the grass, on a hill. With fireflies.

Atsushi lays there a while. Then, he figures, he better keep their attacker from escaping. So he removes his belt, and skillfully restrains the man. There. Peace on planet earth, right? Now he can sleep next to his partner.

The agency find him cuddled up around Akutagawa for warmth in the morning.

Funny isn’t it?

He was cold the whole night.

[natsumiheart]

Ever since I met you.

…Hello world! Lmao

Hi, I'm Natsumi, and I'm wondering who is even reading this but if you are, welcome to a very long post about how I got into Tears of Themis, how it helped me through such a hard time, and how I ended up falling in love with a certain detective.

I made this post for an event on hoyolab but I’m posting it here too in my trashcan! I already wanted to have a post documenting this online just for myself, even if in the future I cringe while reading it, I can look back and remember the emotions I felt through the year. I also wanted to share it with the world so that maybe people will feel like me, or come to appreciate this character that I love so much as much as I do. (you’re free to reblog btw!)

Warning: This post is mostly about Luke!

It contains spoilers about some Luke cards and some spoilers for his Blossom Chapter. There are small scenes from episodes 2 and 5 of main story as well. Oh, and Artem and Luke 2nd anniversary cards.

If you are here because you’re interested in learning or reading more about Luke and do not care much for the rest, I recommend the interlude, part 6, and The end: part 1. The other parts also talk about Luke and his stories but those are the most important in my opinion.

Due to Tumblr’s 30 image per post limit, this will be divided into 3 parts, each part added with a reblog.

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Index because this post ended up incredibly long so here are the parts laid out to read anything you’re interested in!

> Part 1: Introduction

(How did I learn about this game?)

> Part 2: Contact

(Getting the game)

> Part 3: The Beginning

(Starting the game and first impressions lol)

> Part 4: Falling

(FOR LUKE AHAH)

> Interlude: Luke Pearce’s Fear

> Part 5: Obsession

(How and why did this obsession start?)

> Part 6: Reflection

(Thinking back on Luke’s personality that attracted me)

> The end: Memories

(Extra memorable moments)

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Part 1: Introduction

I play Genshin (shocker) and I have some online friends who play it as well, so when Tears of Themis came out globally since it's made by Hoyoverse as well, most people who played genshin went to check it out. I discovered Tears of Themis through those people, and I was recommended the game by my online friends.

What was my response?

“I have no phone storage.” AAHAHAH, yes. I'm not a day one player. I only started during the second anniversary because back when the game came out despite being interested I could not play because I did not have any device that could handle the game. My phone could not handle Genshin's size either, it's not compatible to begin with- I played Genshin on the PlayStation [emoji]

However I did not forget about the game, I was just hoping that somehow one day, a miracle will happen and I will be able to play mobile games like other people LOL but what are the odds of that happening?... Well, a miracle happened 2 years later.

Bonus: I had a little beef at the time with Artem because I kept thinking drawings of him were actually of Jumin who is a very well written character I love like crazy from mystic messenger since 2016 BWAHAHA

Every masterpiece.. has its cheap copy.. IM JKJK PUT THAT KNIFE DOWN AHAHA

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Part 2: Contact

So one day I was visiting my aunt's house and met my cousin's acquaintance. I met the guy for like.. only 2 hours and during those hours my cousin told him about how I draw digitally but I have been drawing on an 8 year old phone that stays alive for like 30 mins at a time AHHAHA

The guy was like “That's it, I'm getting you an iPad to draw on.” I laughed, thinking he was joking- but then 2 days later I received TWO iPads, one for me and one for my little sister! W t f. Angels do exist on earth? And I was never able to thank him in person because he's a busy guy who only visited my village and I never saw him again o.o

Can you guess what I started doing when I got it? Download a bunch of games I wanted to try throughout the years but couldn't! Among them was Tears of Themis. My house didn't have the best Internet and had a couple hours of electricity a day so I downloaded it very slowly at my aunt's house.

I remember so clearly about how I sat next to my sister as I was downloading the game, and it started playing the second anniversary promotion video since it was starting during that time. At first I was like “aww, they proposing!” but suddenly things turned spicy and I almost dropped the iPad from my hand HAHA.

I did not know what to expect going into this game because I stayed away from spoilers and videos about it since I knew I wanted to get into it myself one day (I was interested in the main story). It made me sad too to be honest because I wanted to play it but couldn't, so I avoided it for years.

I however, did not expect at all that the game would get THAT spicy LMAO my sister noticed my reaction and she was like “What's up?” And I was like “you cannot see this” though she is older than the game’s age rating AHAHHA

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Part 3: The beginning

I was so excited getting into this game! When I started I was incredibly hooked to the main story, and at the time.. hear this.. I had a bias towards Artem because he looked like Jumin AHAHA

I was honestly more interested though in the main story than the boys, because the boys didn't make me feel much at the time- I do not have a “love at first sight” I never had that kind of experience for real life people or fictional people. (Anyone can experience it, and that's valid! It's just for me personally that never happens.)

After knowing characters and learning more about them, that's when sometimes- I fall in love with them as a character, they end up giving me so much happiness just seeing them, they give me comfort.. And they fill up my sketchbooks HAHA is this love romantic? Usually no, that's very rare!

I did not feel much for Artem (turns out the only thing he and Jumin have in common were their looks and being socially awkward, shocker-) but I had a little interest that led to me pulling for his second anniversary card when I started being able to wish. I lost- and got a standard Artem, but then I won and got his card LMAO you can get a lot of wishes starting off. However I was doing the stories of the standard SRs, along with the main story and someone.. someone was warming up a lot to my heart.

______________________________

Part 4: Falling

The boys were all very interesting and lovely characters! (The NPCs as well!!)

Artem, despite how he comes off at work, is actually just a shy guy who is bad at communication outside of work.

Vyn is actually a very interesting and well written character being very different than the rest of the cast due to his unique upbringing (honestly? His family feels like a cult, bro literally is running from a cult) and you learn more about his own psychology the more you get to know him.

Marius is literally just an artist who wants to chase the life he wants but is hindered by responsibility and his position.

And Luke- Luke stole my heart LOL

First off, he's a detective and I've already confessed online to having a thing for detectives by a drawing- that starting since I was a kid and I watched detective conan🧍‍♀️his introduction chapter.. was very interesting. It was literally the first episode, Rosa clearly knows and cares about this character right off the bat you're like hmm? What was this guy doing for 8 years? Why did he show up now after so long? Almost making him suspicious even. But he and Rosa seemed so close despite it all.

After that Luke had started showing up in the story here and there, a moment that made me go “ohh.. what a cool guy.” Was when after Marius’ case in episode 2, he shows up on a bike like “get in we outta here” and saved her from all the reporters.

His theme plays at this scene.. my heartttt

Revealing he'd been watching her and the case from afar and was literally waiting for her to get out and get her away.

I started reading the standard SRs, the first one I did was “Among the great blue” which honestly I recommend everyone doing again because I bet you all do not remember Luke saying this about Jellyfish

The card made me go *the rock eyebrow raise* GAHAH and at the time I was all innocent, not knowing anything about what Luke was going through, so when Rosa woke up and did not find him sleeping next to her (after she invaded where he's supposed to be sleeping lmao) and Luke was hunched over like “I'm fine I just accidentally swallowed gum lol” I actually believed him 💀 there were signs, but it would fly over a player's head until things are revealed ON THE FIRST FREAKING ACT OF HIS PERSONAL STORY and suddenly everything makes sense. Wow.

When I started personal story, I was just starting it because starting all of them is part of the “Rookie tasks” event you get when you start the game. Only to be punched in the gut immediately.

This is LITERALLY what you’re greeted with when you start his story 💀

I was starting to warm up to this guy and you're telling me.. he's sick and planning to leave us.. omg.

I got to choose one limited SR from the Rookie event, and I thought Luke looked adorable so I picked his card "A star in the palm" and the story.. omg that card, I'm weak. Everyone needs to see it, READ IT!

It’s illegal to be BOTH handsome and adorable smh

After that I started WANTING to do more Luke stories so I did the other standard SRs “Radiant Sunlight”, “Timely Rescue”, “Inner Sanctum”. They were all so good, my favorite being Inner Sanctum for how much it messed with my heart.

Dude is literally falling and he STILL makes sure to protect her.

I- was dying. I started pulling for Luke's anniversary card, starting to regret my choice going for Artem's. But he wouldn't come-

So I went back to main story because that's how you get the most schips, and guess what- I had reached episode 5…

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Interlude: Luke Pearce’s Fear

The way episode 5 starts, Luke joins the NXX and Rosa is incredibly surprised seeing him there introducing himself as an agent from the NSB. Meanwhile Luke… is mad.

At first he can't believe Artem would even make her do this but she confirms to him that it was her decision, and then he spills the truth about his identity, and about where he's been the past 8 years. He apologizes, for lying, for planning to leave her again, for everything.

And then this happens.

You guys, this scene made me go straight up insane. You can tell how much he had cared and loved her for all these years, and how his biggest fear is literally the main character getting hurt or something happening to her. I felt so emotional over it, that after this act I started DESPERATELY pulling for his card and I finally- finally got it

Episode 5 BTW is one of my favorites in the main story, it is 3 parts because it's THAT good. It's when people will start seeing what Luke is as a character, what's beneath the surface you see in episode 1. (Also this episode introduced the best character: Hugh Moss AHAHH)

The parallel between Rosa, and Jasmine (the reporter whose case you investigate), was not lost on me. That reporter died trying to expose the truth which is exactly what Rosa has been trying to do. I think the entire chapter literally is showing you why Luke is so scared of her continuing the path she's in.

But you know what's the best part? He's freaking terrified, yet he never forces her to leave. He says this:

People keep saying Luke is a red flag that keeps trying to control Rosa and her actions and I swear my reaction is always “Are you even paying attention?” Luke never forces Rosa, he only shows he's against it, but he always says he will support her whatever decision she makes.

A similar more light-hearted situation is the story of his summer card “Iridescent Heartbeat” where Luke is afraid of Rosa getting hurt or doing things that are too much for her so he doesn't consider doing things such as Bungee jumping or rafting. But Rosa insists that she wants to do it and when she's visibly afraid later, Luke teases her a bit (LOL)

but then holds her close to him and soothes her saying there's nothing to be afraid of cause he's there.

He encourages her to do what she wants! And when she does indeed get hurt because the rope was too tight around her leg, he does NOT put the blame on her, but on himself-

Y'ALL HOW IS THIS GUY CONTROLLING??

(The scene after kinda got on my nerves cause Rosa got “angry” that he’s not his usual “cheerful self” like girl I love you but please- can’t you see how much you getting hurt affects him? She pretends that she’s angrier than she actually is making Luke apologize over and over like 💀 but tbh it was also funny, I don’t like how she handled it but it was funny lol)

When they go rafting Luke lets Rosa take the lead and he will follow her because she wanted to prove to him that he doesn't need to plan everything, however Rosa's plan backfires, things go horribly wrong and she can't figure out how to get the raft to go straight. Luke again, does not reprimand her in any way and only helps her so she can do what she wants. Later on even after they've fallen off the raft and onto the water he immediately holds her and takes her up to the surface so worried like “are you okay???” And despite all that, he says she's right. That she's always right and he will stop trying to plan and go more with the flow. 

Luke never tried to control Rosa, he just loves her so much that he does not want to ever see her in pain or sad. He wants her to be the happiest girl in the world.

So who is Luke? Luke is the coolest mf, a guy that always jumps into action to help others with a heart so damn big that his own emotions slowly destroy him. He has felt an astronomical amount of guilt and regret since childhood- and has cared for and loved the main character just as long. The girl who is the reason he was able to keep his sanity, the girl who he always wanted to protect, and the girl who is the reason he is still here today. 

I wholeheartedly believe that without Rosa in his life, Luke would've ended up completely different, if still alive at all.

Bonus: I remember people being like, the characters have gemstones that match their color in the proposal ring, so why does Luke have Ruby instead of something like Topaz? This is why.. the ruby in the ring represents Rosa (getting emotional over here omg) and honestly that ring is freaking insane because not only did he design and make it and its box by himself for years.. but a ruby is inside the key that Rosa gave to him.

Remember how Luke when you click on the key in visit says “I wear it like this to have it as close as possible to my heart” now look at the key.. if the Ruby is Rosa, and Luke’s heart is the key, do you see what he conveyed in that ring? Yea, I’m crying too. 

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Part 5: Obsession

I have a bit of an obsession problem, I've been obsessed with stories, games, or characters and that obsession can last years of my lifetime. And it's understandable, when you're going through terrible things in your life, you get attached to what makes you feel happy and you hold on to that feeling. That's what starts that obsession.

When I got the second anniversary Artem card I did the story immediately and it was.. it was alright. Artem wants to propose, but in his attempt to keep it all secret distances himself too much and gets Rosa worried, but then wow! He proposes with the help of his coworkers and happy ending + things get a bit spicy at the end. 

But I felt like.. like I'm getting deja vu AHAHA like I've seen this kind of story a million times before. (Probably cause I did from watching a bunch of kdramas and having consumed a bunch of stories from a lot of media) It did not exactly get me to feel anything much, I'm sure it's different for Artem stans though having him propose after probably following his story for 2 years XD good on you guys have fun with your mans! 

For me though who had just started, it did not have that much of an effect. After I got the Luke anniversary card I was excited and went into the story oh so innocently not knowing back then that Luke cards are honestly heart wrenching. 

It led to me crying in bed while the sun was rising from the window as Luke says “That's because I love you.”

The way how he blocks the wind from her and lets it hit him instead at that exact moment is freaking PEAK writing.

That card showed me a lot more about this man who is so shackled by his own emotions and circumstance, that he's willing to sacrifice everything even his own wants and dreams for the one he loves.

Have you guys seen that one official art with Rosa posing as Themis? And the boys are represented by the objects around her? Luke is the sword, Artem is the balance, Vyn is the blindfold, and Marius is the snake by her leg.

It starts to make sense why Luke is holding onto her sword to the point of bleeding, he's bleeding yet he looks up to her in absolute devotion not caring for what happens to him and his eyes are only always on her. He’s willing to be her sword, to take all of the pain and protect her so she can be happy.

My life.. has not been what is considered “normal”. I'm not going to give my backstory in this post aHAHAH but at the time when I started Tears of Themis I was going through a very bad point in my life where I was close to have given up completely on my future and accepted my fate as it is. I had shut down completely, and I went back to becoming a shut-in which is honestly something I went through for four years before, it wasn't good. 

When you reach that point, you start becoming apathetic to everything.

Luke however, somehow started making me start having emotions again. Reading and learning about this character was actually affecting me in a way I have not been affected in a long time. He felt.. real, like I could feel his emotions, his love, his despair.

And that's part of why I got so attached to him and he became my comfort, because of him, I started to feel human again.

AHA CRINGE. OK enough with the sadness.

But I'll never forget how much Luke and Tears of Themis helped me keep a grip during those hard months. I'm in a better place now, it's not good- but it's better, and I still just open this game and visit Luke to help me ground myself.

One time after a bad day I accidentally touched him and he said this, I went insane-

I think that says a lot about the state of my sanity AHAHAH 

______________________________

[To be continued in reblog]

[f0point5]

pretty sure you’ve talked about this already so many times so if you don’t want to keep talking about it no worries!!

but this Logan/Kimi swap thing BAFFLES me. Yes, Logan should have improved more by now. I really feel for him because it’s clear that he’s trying to improve and just can’t figure it out for some reason. Plus the team’s bizarre switch from “we resigned Logan because we believe in him” to what appears from the outside to be a lack of support. But i agree he won’t be on the grid next year.

But at the same time it’s idiotic for the FIA to approve the dispensation because then the rules are essentially meaningless. It’s idiotic for Williams to take on an underprepared driver (because as talented as Kimi might be, there’s no way he’s adequately prepared for F1 right now) when part of Logan’s issues were due to being underprepared. If this kid gets eaten alive then merc will have thrown away so much potential. Genuinely I think there’s an incredibly high chance no one wins here. Maybe it all works out, but it seems like a hell of a risk just because you’re worried that he might sign elsewhere.

anyway excuse the rant lol just read the new chapter and so intrigued 👀 hoping lando comes thru for you this weekend <3

No I could go for DAYS.

I wouldn’t blame the team for replacing Logan mid season. It’s incredibly difficult to score points at the bottom and you need to be running two cars. Williams have been fighting one handed. Logan is just not cut out for this, that to me is clear. I am so curious why they resigned him, I guess because they didn’t have any other options from their academy, but the way they seem to have absolutely had enough of him is sad. To hear him on the radio calling himself a “dumb fuck” is horrible. It’s all hard to watch. It’s giving Red Bull.

I don’t understand the Kimi thing. They made this rule because they didn’t want any more children in F1. How would they just throw that out the window because someone asks? And not even for a kid who has a wealth of experience. He’s driven what? 18 months in actual cars? The FIA will out themselves as a complete joke if they say yes. I guess Williams will be saying “we will put him in the day he turns 18 if you say no so you may as well say yes it’s 4 months early”, but I think they have to stick to their guns and say not a day before the 18th birthday.

I don’t have an issue with him being in the car. Maybe he’s another Max, maybe he’s not. Regardless, I think if he is good enough, he will show something. And if he doesn’t, then he doesn’t, there will be others who come up through the feeder series who do. I don’t put a lot of stock in preparedness beyond physical fitness. Another few months of driving F2 where the cars are very slow, very different set up wise, and honestly where the racing is kinda just a free for all is probably not going to prepare him any better than he is now (considering how few F2 races there actually are as well). I think talent shines through. Logan might have done better with more prep but he probably never would have been Oscar. And yes Kimi is underprepared, but the best prep you can get is just to drive, so if Toto really is planning to put Kimi in the Merc seat, this is the smartest way to get around the rules about testing. Because that’s all it’ll be, is testing. He can sit in the Williams for half a season and get his bearings, go to Merc and get his bearings again in 2025, and by 2026 he would be an incredibly well prepared driver. IF that is how Toto decides to approach it, and not expect results from Kimi. I actually do see the merit in it. But only if it’s approached properly by everyone involved which with Toto you can’t guarantee. BUT the FIA throwing out the rule book would be insane.

I’m SO interested what on earth Toto has promised Vowles to get a Merc junior who will essentially be wasting a seat for Williams in the middle of a season. Granted he probably can’t be worse than Sargent but again, James will effectively just have Alex all year. Are Williams getting free engines?

Fundamentally I think the person who comes away with egg on their face here is James Vowles. Mr “you need to give a rookie three years and an arm around the shoulder” has absolutely exposed himself as TotoLite™️. As for Kimi, I can only hope he has a good team around him and that he has people who will come to the paddock and look out for him and not just let Toto run his career. Because I don’t think him being in F1 early is a guaranteed failure, but I think he will need a strong support network and someone looking out for his best interests.

I’m just shocked by this turn of events in all honesty

[the-ravenclaw-werewolf]

Hey, I just wanted to ask, have you seen Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3? Or not yet?

When you do, can you answer these questions here?

Beware, because spoilers here.

1. How do the characters react to Rocket's backstory? How do they react when he's injured at the start very much? Does someone suspect there being a reactor in his chest could mean someone did something horrible to Rocket in the past before? Could Emma maybe even relate to him there when the High Ev. Reveals that they were never emant for Counter Earth, like how her family was never getting adopted? How does she react to him being having numbers (89P13) on him like her?

2. How do they react to Starmora's relationship?

3. How do they like Drax and Mantis funny relationship?

3. What's their reaction to the High Ev?

4. How do they fair well to Rocket's friends last screen time?

5. How they fair with seeing Rocket's almost demise as Peter refuses to give up on him yet?

6. How do they process the children in the High Ev's ship to be colonized?

7. How do they process the planet the High Ev. laid to waste?

8. How would they react to the High Ev. Being defated finally?

9. How would they react to Rocket's not killing him in after all he did to him when he could have?

10. How would they react to Rocket's scene with the baby raccoons?

11. How would they react to Peter almost dying?

12. How do they react to the finale where everyone decided to go different ways after?

13. How do they react Drax accidentally hurting a child with a fast ball to her face?

14. How do they react to Pete coming back to Earth and meeting his Granpda gain after years of being of not knowing if the other was even alive?

15. How they react to Cosmo and her Bag Dog Problem?

16. How do they react to Nebula's growth in this movie? To her tears after Rocket wakes up because he was the one person who was with her when they both weren't bliped out?

17. How do they react to the finally where Gomora goes home to the Ravegers in the finale?

18. How do they react to everyone dancing to "Dog Days Are Over", finally being able to just celebrate being able to just have fun after the hurricane has passed? How do they react to Rocket going from a primal scream of anguish from what the High Ev. Did to his friends to a primal whoop of delight after everything he's been through?

You can answer there whenever! Don't stress if you haven't seen the movie! Just take you your time! Take care.

Sorry for the late reply, here you go!

They would find Rocket's backstory tragic and horrific, seeing how some animals are also treated cruelly in their worlds. The more observant of the 40 would notice the reactor and put the pieces together. But Emma would definitely feel more sympathetic to Rocket since they both were given false promises only for them to be smashed to pieces.

(Assuming they watched the other movies of the MCU), they would have a slight understanding that Peter was grieving and was trying to cope with it. But they also understand that this Gamora was not the one that the GOTG had grown up with, so it shouldn't be her responsibility to try to fill the position the old Gamora left behind. So they're glad to see that Peter and Gamora reconcile, with Peter having come to terms with his Gamora is really gone and that no one can replace her, and with Gamora seeing value in both Peter and the team, but doesn’t give up her autonomy for him.

They would find it really cute and sweet of how they both offer emotional support and they play off each other so well.

Like Peter, they would find him as the typical tyrant that is full of bulls*** and would personally love to punch him in the face for his actions, especially the animal lovers of the 40.

Most of the 40 would cry hard, especially those who have loved ones on the other side just like Rocket. And the line, “Can I come?” would be a punch to the gut for all of them.

Most of them would feel Peter’s pain in his fight to bring Rocket back, some of them wishing that they were able to save their own loved ones.

Would proceed to hate the High Ev. more, and I can see Ciel and Emma definitely being the most horrified.

Now they would want him dead by the next act.

Big cheers. Genuinely, as even the stoic members can’t hide their joy. 

Some would be mad that he didn’t while others would see this as a moment of triumph that Rocket didn’t have to stoop to his level to beat him.

They would start tearing up, as seeing from being compared that the babies were cowering away from the High Ev.’s hand vs the babies basically crawling on top on Rocket, and when he carries them all, but stares at the other animals who were also trapped, seeing the plight in his eyes of wanting to save all the animals.

Very worried but then relieved that he came out okay.

Would feel bittersweet about it but they are ultimately happy that they all get a happy ending.

Most would wince, while a few would have the guts to laugh.

Find the moment very sweet and happy that the two finally reunited.

“GET BACK HERE AND TAKE IT BACK!” -The dog lovers of the 40.

Are proud of the growth she was able to achieve and that she is become more open with emotions.

Very happy for her.

Glad that everyone in their own way got their happy ending and are taking the next step into their lives.

[sunwarmed-ash]

🔥Sinful Sunday🔥

Deja Vu: Chapter 3

Fandom: All Spiderverses

Ships: Parksborn(Webb), Peter 2/Peter 3,

Rating/Word Count/Status: Explicit, WIP

Tags: Angst fic, fill-in scenes for Andrew!Peter post TASM2 and during NWH, backstory chapters, hurt comfort, Sick!Harry, Goblin!Harry

TW: Mentions of suicide attempt, hospital scenes, needle mention,

Summary:

The quantum pull has Parker flying backward, up, left, and then down at speeds faster than the interstate average. The force pulling in the center of his gut like an umbilical cord is worse than it was the first time he Quantem Lept, and when he reaches up to touch his ears, he notices one of them is bleeding. Parker screams the entire way down. He knows he does because his throat aches and his lungs beg for oxygen, even if he can’t hear a sound. 

He’s lucky that of all the things to fall on in New York City he falls on grass, but still, thanks to the intense speed and force of gravity, it fucking hurts when he lands. He startles a flock of pigeons when he craters the earth, but thankfully, because of the location, there aren’t many human patrons to notice his explosion. Something cracks like its broken, but the adrenaline currently coursing through his veins has him standing without thinking twice. Another thing he notices, when he can keep his vision from spinning, is that Pete is nowhere to be seen. The suffocating, haunting knowledge that he was alone, trapped in his own pathetic universe again soaked through his skin like a chill in his bones, threatening to freeze them. Panic builds in the hollow of his throat.

The only other person who happens to be within eyeshot stares at him carefully, and Parker's sense starts to tingle once more. Potential Threat?

Parker takes a step forward anyway.  

“Hey uh, excuse me, what day is it?”

Now the ruddy-complected man’s glare is angry, defensive.

“Can't you just check your phone?” He growls. 

His attitude pisses Parker off, but he dug into his pocket either way, frowning before showing the asshole the shattered front of his dead cell phone.

“Can't you check yours?” 

The heated man scoffed, turning and flipping him the bird before shouting,

“December 4th, 2017 dickhead!” over his shoulder.

December 4th. Of 2017.

2017.  

Three years. 

Three. Fucking. Years. 

He had spent a grand total of 4 days in Peter 1’s universe, maybe a week, tops, but somehow, here, now, it’s 3 years later. Which meant Parker hasn't been in his Queens, for three years. He hasn't gone to work, paid his rent, checked on May, or seen Harry.

His gut tightened and all other thoughts halted in place at the memory of Harry. 

Harry, who he had already abandoned once to the horrible place just 200 feet to his right. 

And now, even after Parker swore he wouldn't, he did again. It didn't matter that this time it wasn't his fault. Because Harry would never give him the chance to explain that now. 

If he was even still alive… 

[emmetcounty]

TOP 5 CONSPIRACY THEORIES

That's a tough one these days, with so many big-tent conspiracies floating around in the public consciousness. I'll try to limit myself to specific conspiracies, though I'm gonna make one exception just cuz I find it so fascinating. I'll also try to avoid shit that's just reducible to blood libel, not only because that shit is fucking awful, but also because it's just lazy, there's no creativity or passion it's just antisemitic. Also note that I'm not an expert on conspiratorial thinking/conspiracy theories, nor am I an expert on any of these conspiracies. I'm not trying to be objective about these either, I have specific biases and I'm not gonna try to cull them here. So, with that out of the way, and in no particular order:

1.) A fun, and mostly harmless one is the genre of [Dead person] is still alive. It's so versatile that it still surprises me that it's been more or less self-restricted to musicians. I've heard Tupac, Michael Jackson, Elvis obviously. An unhoused dude I met, and maybe this isn't a conspiracy theory per say, was convinced that he was Kurt Cobain to the point of providing hyper specific details of Cobain's life that I had no means of confirming or denying. That day was odd. He said he wanted to just get out of the spotlight, which I think is understandable.

2.) Fucking Havana Syndrome, oh my god. Just a group of CIA agents working 16 hours a day, living exclusively on a diet of coffee and Mormonism suddenly getting earth shattering headaches, and proceeding then to accuse the cuban government of inventing infrared brain lasers. Fucking hysterical, I hope they all have aneurysms. In a similar vein is the whole thing of cops ODing on fentanyl through touch alone. To anyone skeptical of that, these cops are almost always just having panic attacks, and in fact do not have any fentanyl in their bodies.

3.) JFK didn't kill himself

4.) The dead Internet theory. This one is a fascinating study of how and why conspiracy theories happen. The idea is that the Internet is mostly bots, manipulating and being manipulated by algorithms that their creators neither understand or are able to control. And like. There are grains of truth here and there, spread throughout the misinformation. For instance, there's a legitimate market on youtube for bots to boost engagement and views. Does that market account for the lion share of views on the platform? Absolutely not, its impact is marginal at best. Another example the theorists love are the numerous bot posts on Twitter. Twitter has always had a bot problem to some degree! That doesn't mean Twitter is all bots tho! So why has the theory gained traction? Because the Internet's a fucking complicated entity, and your average joe is looking for easy answers. As it is with all conspiracies, simple lies are often more preferable than complex truths.

5.) MOASS. Now, here's that exception to the no big-tent rule. It's my personal favorite conspiracy theory, but it requires a bit of explanation. For those of you who haven't heard of this one, Dan Olsen has a really good video on it, but for those who don't have two and a half hours, I'll try my best to sum it up: remember the whole GameStop thing where its stocks went up a bunch out of nowhere, and a bunch of redditors made a fuss about democratizing finance capital, then the whole movement sorta disappeared shortly thereafter? MOASS (an acronym meaning "the mother of all short squeezes") is a belief by the bag holders who missed the big wave of that movement. The idea is that the first wave in January of 2021 was merely the prelude to an apocalyptic financial crash which will be ushered in by "apes" (as the redditors call themselves) coming to own more shares of video game retailer GameStop than actually exist. They also believed (or in some cases still believe) that GameStop is gonna merge with the now defunct Bed Bath and Beyond. The reason I find this one so fascinating is not because of the deluge of incomprehensible nonsense that apes typically spew, nor is it the wild confidence that the movement inspires, but rather that it's so utterly disconnected from reality that it works as a very useful example of Mark Fisher's conception of capitalist realism. Like, these people have chosen to imagine an apocalypse so profoundly convoluted, that even trying explaining its structure can cause psychic damage, and they do this instead of think about their material reality for like. 30 seconds. Idk, it has a special place in my heart.

Honorable mention to COINTELPRO, because even though it was a real thing that really happened, and even though you can easily find sources outlining its extent, intentions, goals, and accomplishments, when you try to explain it to any normal person, you sound fucking insane. I know from experience 😔

[habizuh-studios]

I've Held My Heart Close All These Years

Since the day he woke up here and again, and again, and again, he has never felt happiness. Until there is a light, and he's set free. A word rings in his head: Ascension. Out of the coffin after ninety-six years, however, can change a lot. Especially if there were countless people to see it.

OR: Xie Lian ascends from the coffin and chaos ensues :) ---- Chapter 4- Burdened:

(A heavy load, whether emotionally or physically, that is forced to be carried by a person.)

AO3 LINK (Next Chapter)

He Xuan walks away from the palace with an unfeeling gaze. He doesn’t even look back.

This will be interesting, that’s for sure.

____

Before Lang Qianqiu could react, The Earth Master had walked away.

All he saw was red.

He isn’t sure how long he stayed there, staring.

Overcome with emotion, he bursts open the door to the palace, probably startling several heavenly officials from the middle court. He doesn’t care.

His head is swimming in emotions, but he can’t comprehend a single thought. His mind is both too empty and too full; his only goal is to get to Guoshi.

Only when he slightly trips on the elegant floor does he think properly. What will I do when I actually find him?The most obvious choice would be to confront him. Demand for answers.

Part of him wants to cry like a small child again, to sob on the floor pathetically and beg for his parents back, like that will do anything. He wishes it would.

…

He realizes he’s still running and stops.

Other facts drift into his mind. Bloodied mess. Corpse. Murderer. Buried. Alive.…

His eyes are shadowed with grief and resignation as he looks up from his radical sprint. Maybe, instead of going with the flow, he should think this through. But he’s not very good at that, is he? He’s always been the type to dive headfirst into things, uncaring of the consequences until after the fact. It’s only worked for him well so far because he was a God. He had tricks up his sleeve and allies and people that he could trust to fix things.

An Le was one. His Guoshi was one.

Xiao Mengyou is one.

…

His gaze is blurry from something; whether it be from raw emotions or the expression of such is unclear. He can think later, he might vent later.

He looks to his right, shifting his weight to look at the door properly.

It’s an unassuming door. Doesn’t look out of place at all, in General Xuan Zhen’s palace. Just another room- it could be anything, really.

It could be a dining room, a ballroom, a study room, or an office.

But that doesn’t matter to Lang Qianqiu right now.

He slams the door open without a second thought.

Inside, he sees him.

He looks… different. But it’s all the same, in the end.

He could never forget the mask that ended countless lives on his seventeenth birthday.

…

Murderer.Corpse.…

Guoshi…He… he doesn’t know what to do.

Still, it’s not even a split second until after he opens the door that he runs towards Guoshi. He’s still not sure what he would have done.

Maybe he would’ve grabbed him by the neck and ended his Godhood then and there. Maybe he would have yelled at him and cried. Only Heaven knows if there was the slightest chance would have wrapped his arms around him for comfort.

Nothing and everything goes through Lang Qianqiu’s head as he runs towards the infamous man-

Zwip!He stumbles backwards, the adrenaline rushing through his head suddenly clearing the slightest bit as he processes just what happened. He clears his eyes and shakes his head of… well, everything.

He drops to his knees and looks up.

The Guoshi stares back down at him differently. Before, his eyes were sharp. Some would say cold, but Lang Qianqiu didn’t think Guoshi was heartless, back then. His gaze was piercing, though, the elegant silver mask adding to his mysterious gaze. Now, although some of it is still hidden by the mask, they’re… softer, now. Yet more feral, more guarded. Nothing like he’s ever expected of his teacher, or of a heartless murderer. It’s indescribable.

There’s a ribbon around him, guarding him. Lang Qianqiu can feel how evil energy rolls off of it in waves. The elegant ribbon reeks of evil energy; a demonic spirit, at worst. It might be a spiritual weapon, but Guoshi didn’t ever show Lang Qianqiu, if he ever had one. He feels more emotions gripping his heart, squeezing them until every last drop of sense in him dissipates. The ribbon, despite its aura, is shiny and white, looking to be of expensive material. Lang Qianqiu has probably seen it somewhere.

The ribbon smacked him away from his pursuit on purpose because it thought he was a threat. Lang Qianqiu can gather that much.

He hears a noise from above him and quickly wipes his eyes of tears he didn’t know he had. He stares at the mask that haunts his nightmares; the same one that he used to aspire to be, the same one he wanted to have, the same one that made and ruined his life. The eyes underneath can barely be seen, but Lang Qianqiu can tell that they’re still wide. Wide and staring at him.

Does Guoshi recognize him? Will he speak, tell him everything is fine, even though it isn’t ?

Will he want to kill him, too?

…

He cannot bear the silence any longer. His thoughts are too loud, too silent.

…

He swallows and looks up.

“Guoshi,” he basically snarls. His pride has already fallen low, in this room. There’s no point in keeping up appearances. Although it wouldn’t do any good to destroy General Xuan Zhen’s palace in madness. His hot, anger-flooded gaze meets the eyes of someone confused. He is the same.

He doesn’t know what comes over him, and yet, he asks. Or maybe it’s more of a demand.

“Take off your mask.”____

The thought of who this other person is pangs through his heart. His memories, which have laid dormant for his peace of mind, come flooding back at the expense of his joy.

Lang Qianqiu, his mind supplies. Prince of Yong’An. He truly is proud of him. But his request…

Though it tightens his chest and makes it a little hard to breathe, he can feel the mask loosening on his face. One of the hands he had covering his throat lift up to feel the mask, and as he turns his head forward to be more comfortable, the mask slips off. Comfortably, without any effort on his part. Almost like a curse he lifted.

He hasn’t been able to take the mask off for a hundred years. Now, he can feel wind on his face, near his eyes. He feels… free.

This is the least he can do for Lang Qianqiu, is what he should tell himself. He should tell himself that the feather-lightness in him is because he did something right for him, for once. Yet he can’t help but feel so grateful for what Lang Qianqiu has done for him.

Truly, he is selfish.

He can see a little better now. The silver that had lined his peripheral vision for the longest time is finally off, revealing corners he didn’t even notice. His eyes feel… fresh? New? He doesn’t know the word for it.

Lang Qianqiu, who is now looking at him, has no signs of recognition on his face. He seems… disturbed, maybe. Those amber eyes who had looked at him with hatred, as he should, feel different. He can’t quite place his finger on it.

He draws his knees closer to his chest subconsciously for comfort. He feels like a small, worthless glob of flesh that has felt the outside world after being locked away for one hundred years.

Well, he supposes, it’s at least partially true.

Especially with the way Lang Qianqiu is looking at him. ____

Now, He Xuan knows he probably just started some very unnecessary drama within the upper court. But he knew that it was going to happen eventually, even if he wasn’t the one to tell Lang Qianqiu that the new God might have been the Guoshi of Yong’An. He really was trying to get it all over with, and he’s sure anyone who has ever heard of him would attest to that.

So he doesn’t feel bad when he descends back to Nether Manor. It would take a lot more than starting up some hundred year old drama to make him feel bad. Though he can empathize with Lang Qianqiu, he probably could keep a level head for everything to be… less of a mess.

“He Xuan.”

The man in question would have started if he were beneath himself. Still, he scowls and holds his ground.

“Crimson Sought Rain Flower,” he says, sarcasm and annoyance in his tone. “What do you want?”That shitty, lovesick bastard has the audacity to chuckle through the connection. Insufferable. He Xuan does not roll his eyes, if only so he isn’t associated with the martial God of the Southwest.

… Maybe He Xuan does need more food. Where is Shi Qingxuan, anyway?

“How are things going on up in Heaven? With Lang Qianqiu?” Hua Cheng asks with more genuine interest in his tone than he has ever given He Xuan when they do this.

He Xuan thinks back to every little detail about that meeting.  Lang Qianqiu’s connection to it all, with some poorly hidden past.

A ribbon and a mask.“I told him my suspicions, if that’s what you’re asking.” He responds with the tone of voice of someone who has done this multiple times before.

…

“Though, I did notice something…”“Oh, do tell.”

[flowersandbirdsflyingfree]

Questions 1-5 from the Casual Ask Game for Tank Dempsey if you please. (@dzvagabond)

Thank you, @dzvagabond ! Looks like we got some more questions for you Dempsey!

Now we’re talking! I know, I really am that awesome.

1. Introduce yourself!

The name’s Tank Dempsey! I’m a corporal rank in the United States Marine Corp and proudly served for my country since 1939. Don’t be fooled ‘cause I’m more than a handsome face. I’m one kick ass war hero who holds the high record for the farthest grenade throw, the most push ups with one arm, and well known for aiding missions like Peleliu and Iwo Jima before getting into that whole zombie mess. All I ever need to be happy is a gun, a good woman and something to shoot. I’m proud to say I’ve got everything I need. Oorah!

2. So, how have you and s/i been? What have you two been up to recently?

For starters, HAPPY 115 DAY!!!

Wait, that was today?

Yeah!! And on the end of Daylight Savings too!

Ha! Well, I’ll be damned!

Other than that, we’ve been good. Just taking one day at a time and enjoying the little things. She’s been educating me on all her metal genres and bands and all that. It’s oddly therapeutic.

3. How did you and s/i meet anyways? What was that first encounter like?

It turns out the zombie apocalypse stretched across timelines. Do NOT ask me how. Just trying to pinpoint what was going on gives me a migraine. Speaking of migranes, my only source of answers was Doctor Rosenkrantz! He just spoke in riddles. Asshole.

Don’t worry about Richtofen, darling dearest.

Right. No promises. Anyways, so I was hearing Richtofen’s constant barking of orders at one of the those Group 935 labs when one of the teleporters switched on out of nowhere. Out pops this one of a kind young woman who proved worthy to join the crew and the rest is history, baby!

4. So, like, how is s/i as a person?

Aw man! *cackling* Time to see you light up like a firecracker on the 4th of July!

Oh sure! Keep rubbing it in, why don’tcha?! *Hides behind my hands*

Let’s see here: A beautiful woman with a sensitive heart, sharp mind, a down to earth personality all wrapped up in resilience. Yep, seems about right to me. I’m so lucky to call her my Juggergirl.

*starts to look up again* T-thank you. I’m the lucky one. I’m convinced I married my guardian angel.

Shucks, quit buttering me up so much, pumpkin. *leans in for a kiss*

5. Any upcoming plans with s/i? Like in the next coming week or even month maybe?

November is a pretty busy month for us. For starters, today, then the 10 is celebrating the foundation of the USMC and then Thanksgiving.

*I stare intense* Aren’t you forgetting something, DEAR?

Aww, I’m sorry for getting rough on you again. *He takes my hands in his and kisses my knuckles* I’m only teasing, sweetheart. You know I’d never forget our anniversary. I better think of something extra special for us to do this year! Ain’t no way I’m letting a day like that go by without us going all out!

As a heads up for you guys, save the date! November 27th is our anniversary of when we finally got together. And I gotta say I’m the luckiest man alive.

[sillyasiani]

9/17/2024

I'm back :) and its been a long time since I wrote in here. I guess you can tell what that means lol. Life has been good! I'm lying lol. Well I mean life is good but at the same time it has been hard. I am still with Cho and I feel like we will be together forever now. It seems to be heading towards that direction so only time can tell what Haens. I forgot the p button was not working so excuse if some words don't make sense. But why am I journaling if life has been "good"? well for one I am sad. I have been wanting to break down and cry the last few days. Is it because I will be mentrating? will I be ovulating soon? idk. But I just have been reevaluating and thinking. Cho has been off of work for the last 4 months. I am so glad to see him thriving. It brings me joy seeing him live his life. But It also got me so jealous. Because he has this thing that brings him so much joy and I don't have that. I have not been working out.. I have gained weight. Not far off my range. But basically been around 141-145. Idk why I haven't been able to lose the weight the entire summer. Maybe because I haven't been working out as much lol. And I have been getting high frequently. SO when I'm high I eat a lot. So I am trying to avoid it I guess. But anyways getting back to Cho and him being off... I love seeing him live his best life. But I am so envious that he has something that gives him purpose. idont have anything that makes me happy or gives me purpose. I love watching tv and eating and raving. Wow. lol. And thats why I sad because I have nothing that gives me purpose or joy. I am just living with those things. Things that are meaningless. I don't enjoy hiking as much as he does, I don't enjoy climbing as much as he does. Am I sad because ou hobbies aren't the same? if you asked me this a year ago I would probably say yes, not I don't really care. Well I lie, it does bother me that idont love it as much as him. It makes me think and question why he wants to be with me. Or It makes me scared that if I am not like him he willl realize this later on that we are not matched. But I have been trying to evaluate how I've been feeling and why I felt sad. Its weird because I felt so heavy. My heart and my chest felt so heavy. And I was just waiting for someone, anyone, to ask are you ok? for me to finally break down and cry. Because I really am not ok. I feel like I lost myself. I am not the same Ashley as jersey Ashley. I feel like people find me boring and uninteresting. I find everyone boring. No one interest me. And thet has been consistent for almost a year now.. And the fact that I have been consistently finding everyone and everything uninteresting makes me wonder if its the people or myself. It makes me think tahat Im the boring one. I don't even have activities that make me happy the way it does for cho. He keeps talking about feeling "alive". I don't feel like I'm living at all. And I want to find something that makes me happy. I hate being a nurse now. I don't have friends our here. I don't workout. And this is the complete opposite of what I was 2 years ago. I used to love my Job, I used to have so much friends. And now I hate my job and now I don't have any friends I care for. I don't have anything thing that brings me joy. I have no hobbies. What is my point off iving here on earth. I went to the gym and I wanted to sit in the middle of the yoga room and I was on the midst of breaking down and crying. I have been walking around with this heavy heart, even now. to be cont...

[onegianthotmess]

Resident Evil OC:

Alessandra “Alice” Giovanni

Backstory Overview:

Alice is a D.S.O. agent employed by the U.S. government of Greek and Italian heritage. She was close childhood friends with Leon Kennedy and the two have retained their friendship through many years, considering each other siblings in arms since childhood. Both Alice and Leon enrolled in police academy together and were both assigned to Raccoon City Police Department.

After trying and failing to wake up Leon after a long night of heavy drinking so he wouldn’t be late, Alice arrived on time for her first day in Raccoon City by herself on September 30, 1998 and was visiting her sister on her break when the outbreak happened. In order to save Alice, her younger sister was eaten alive as she held zombies back so she could escape, her ladybug hair bow being the only thing left behind for Alice to remember her. And after reuniting with Leon and escaping Raccoon City as it was nuked, both her and Leon were interrogated and then paired together on missions from then on, being known as “the Sibling Package Deal” as their code partner name for missions by the president.

I’ve only made Resident Evil 4 Alice since that’s where my hyperfixation is at the moment.

So please enjoy these images of her along with a good amount of dialogue lines I came up with for her-

(Beginning of RE4/pre getting kidnapped by Mendéz)

“Sometimes I wonder if anything was worth it. The Incident, hellish jungle training and missions, the massacre. I wonder if any of that pain had purpose for me. But, as Mami used to tell me, everything has a purpose and a reason for being, you just have to look for it sometimes.”

“I promise, Leon, this time it’ll be different. I swear it on my baby sister’s grave that it will be different this time.”

“It just has to.”

“This is creepy. And I lived through the Raccoon City Incident.”

“I may have loved to copy my Papa as a bambini, but no way in hell am I gonna copy his smoking habit.”

“I naturally have two different eye colors. And if you comment on my body again, I’ll gouge out both of your perverted eyes.”

“Let’s go, Leon.”

“Cazzo, this place smells…”

“What’s with these weird charms? They look like spiders or some kind of insect from a horror film.”

“Oh, you startled us!”

“What on earth is in that pot? Rotten cannibalistic stew?”

“Maybe he only speaks Spanish?”

“I don’t think this is jam or paint on this badge…”

“Oh, shit!”

“There’s hair cooking in that pot, Leon. Hair…”

“What the hell is going on here?!”

“Who is still alive after having their neck snapped?!”

“These people are not right in the head!”

“Leon, duck!”

“A chainsaw maniac? They have a fucking CHAINSAW MANIAC?! Is the Texas Chainsaw Massacre now?!”

“Cazzo, my knife!”

“What kind of town has breakfast and bingo all together in church?”

“Don’t think I’ve seen a whole town so excited about bingo…”

“Leon, duck!”

“Well, someone ate his vegetables…”

(After escaping the basement/after initial Las Plagas infection)

“Oh, I gave you that jacket for last Christmas!…I don’t care, I’m going to be upset because it was an expensive one made from REAL sheepskin leather!”

“Well, I found our gear… Now to find how to get to it without getting killed…”

“Shit, duck!”

“Just go ahead of me and I’ll cover you!”

“How many bullets do you need?!”

“Oh, Mami, help me…”

“Thanks, Leon!”

“Who can survive five head shots?!”

“I’m out of shotgun shells!”

“Would someone give us a fucking break?!”

“Well, hello, stranger…Do you have a name?”

“‘Gun rhymes with fun for a reason’? I like this guy!”

“This house isn’t too shabby. Looks like a family home that’s been passed down a few generations.”

“Cazzo, the tall man is back!”

“Gift? Blood? What the fuck kind of cult crap are we really dealing with here?”

“He worked for Umbrella?! Oh, I’m killing him the next time I see him!”

“Oh, poor puppy… Let me help you, bambino…”

“Run along now, bambino. Go on.”

“Well, now we’re back in the hellhole we started in…”

“Okay, I might love dogs, but what the hell are those things?!”

(When goggles are in use)

“It’s dark in here, goggle time.”

“I think I see a way down this hall…follow me.”

“Condor One, I have a visual on the church. Those creeps are nowhere to be seen, so that’s good.”

“They were regular night vision goggles, but I fixed a few bugs and upgraded them a bit myself. They’re really handy for finding secret entrances and all that fun stuff. Still need to upgrade them to have an infrared setting to help with seeing those monsters better in dark quarters without use of a flashlight.”

“Leon, if you don’t get out of the way, I’m gonna shoot you!”

“Die, you figlio di puttana!”

“There’s a fake wall behind this bookcase here. Leon, help me move it.”

“There’s something in the water!”

“Why is it always bugs?! Ugh!”

“Oh, this new upgrade makes even the new infrared setting less fuzzy! Didn’t know the merchant was handy with support items like goggles.”

(Talking with Hunnigan or Leon over radio)

“Roost? This is Condor Two. To make it short and sweet, things went to shit and now I’ve been separated from Condor One and Baby Eagle. Could you send me Condor One’s location? I’ve been trying to reach him, but he seems preoccupied since he isn’t picking up.”

“Condor One? Hello? Come in? Condor One, come in! Come in! Leon? Leon! Leon Scott Kennedy, answer me!…Shit.”

“Roost, could you pull up some intel on a guy Condor One was just with? His name is Luis Sera and, from the way Condor One described him, he seems a bit questionable at best.”

“Sorry about that, Roost. Condor One and I ran into a bit of trouble out on the lake. We’re back on track and continuing our search for a key to the church in town. Talk in a bit. Condor Two out.”

I don’t know how to end this, so-

I hope you liked her?

Also, I want more Resident Evil girls with long hair tied up!!!

[buggie-hagen]

Sermon for Third Sunday of Easter (4/17/24)

Primary Text | Luke 24:36b-48

------------------------------------------------------

Alleluia! Christ is risen! He is risen, indeed! Alleluia!

        Jesus has been raised from the dead. He lives. Though he was dead and buried, God’s promise is stronger than the power of death, the grave proved itself not able hold our Lord Jesus Christ. Jesus lives. Because he lives, you live. Now he is ascended into heaven. Yet he is not only in heaven. He is on earth. Among his chosen people. It is a mistake to think that when Jesus ascended into heaven that he closed the door behind him, so that he is far and removed from us, this world, and our problems. He lives. And he lives on earth. Here. With us. How do we know where? He is wherever his word is proclaimed. When forgiveness is proclaimed in the name of Jesus, there he is. And wherever on earth he causes this to be done, there he has put himself. And there on earth exists a little bit of heaven. The risen Christ is here, dear people. For God has yet to withdraw his spoken word from you. Because you and I are people whom God has given the word—he is here, now. With you. And with me. Jesus is nearer to you than you are to yourself. Not by virtue of anything you have done, only by his sheer mercy, grace, and favor, you have been made alive together with Christ. Because he has been raised from the dead, your hope is secured. It is by the word spoken into your ears that you have been made a child of God. The word, which first came to you in your baptism. Baptism, which is God-in-water. The word in the water. You have been buried in this water. Just as Jesus is raised from the dead, so you too, in the water of baptism, have been raised. And therefore, you can never die.

        Now we come to the matter of Jesus’ resurrection appearances to his disciples. Today in the Gospel of Luke: Jesus stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” They were startled and terrified and thought that they were seeing a ghost (Luke 24:36-37). We in the 21st Century think we’re pretty smart. We are supposedly more enlightened and knowledgeable than people 2,000 years ago. We know people don’t just rise from the dead. That when someone is dead. They stay dead. This is nothing new. The disciples back then also were aware that it is not normal for someone to be alive after being dead. Dead people don’t rise. When Jesus, who was crucified and dead appeared to them, they were frightened. Something happened here that was not normal. They did not get that Jesus really meant it when he said he would rise from the dead on the third day. But here they are. They were shocked to see Jesus alive. They could not believe their eyes. They were afraid, and they thought, “Jesus must be a ghost!” A ghost Jesus seemed less absurd to the disciples than a living Jesus. A ghost after all is almost a figment of our imagination. It’s not something you can touch. It’s not something you can prove. A ghost has no body. Maybe we’d be scared if we saw a ghost. But day to day, we don’t really think about ghosts. Ghosts really don’t have an impact on mainstream society. They don’t change how our elections go or anything. Supposedly they can chuck a plate, but that’s in the movies. Whatever we can say about ghosts, which is not much, is that ghosts are mysterious and unknowable.

Ghost Jesus is most people’s version of Jesus. A Jesus who is a shadowy figure. Maybe he’s there. Maybe he’s not. And even if he is, he doesn’t really have anything to say. This version of Jesus certainly doesn’t require us to deny ourselves, or to lose our lives for the sake of the gospel. Ghost Jesus, by definition of being a ghost, has no material reality. He has no body to speak of. Ghost Jesus is a mist that can be blown away. Maybe he’s a nice thought. But nothing more. He’s nothing worth staking our life on. In our time of need we don’t turn to him because we don’t think we can rely on him. We know Ghost Jesus is most people’s version of Jesus because everyone lives for themselves. He has no say in a person’s life. A person might say they believe in God, but they don’t listen or do the things he commands. Case-in-point, very few go to church, the place where God speaks. Very few hear a sermon. Or get baptized. Or get communion. Without these things we cannot believe. A Christian is a rare bird. Though in reality we have always been rare.

Now, the real Jesus is something altogether different than Ghost Jesus. He is living. Alive. He has a body. As we hear in the Gospel of Luke, this real Jesus munched on fish. He’s a fish-muncher! Ghosts can’t do that. They don’t have flesh and blood. They can’t chew and swallow food. Someone put it this way—If the disciples didn’t believe Jesus after he ate that piece of broiled fish…they’d just need to wait around, give Jesus some time for the fish to get through his system, and they’d see where the fish came back out. Now that’s our God. He’s one of us. His body does the things our bodies do. This Jesus has a claim on you and on me. That you don’t belong to yourself. You belong to him. You are in his keeping. Unlike a ghost which is mysterious and unknowable, Jesus hasn’t left you to scratch your head and wonder. He has made himself known to you. In the preaching of the word. In the water of baptism. In the bread and wine of communion. In the speaking of forgiveness. So, we have church together. Regularly. We go to hear sermons. We get baptized. We have the Lord’s Supper frequently. Why? So, we may grow to trust God in all things. That we may have faith. Trust that he has saved us in both soul and body. He is reliable, so we can turn to him in our every need—without shame. He is unashamed to call you his own. Dear people, the real Jesus can’t be blown away. He’s not a shadowy figure. He is raised from the dead. Because he is raised, you are safe, both in life and in death. God has made his promise to you: You are forgiven. Just as death could not keep Jesus in the grave, so death cannot keep you in the grave. The Jesus who munched on fish is the reason you can have hope when otherwise there is no hope. There is nothing more certain. Peace be with you. Amen.