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Make Money With Affiliate Marketing
The Internet offers boundless possibilities for earning a living online. Upwork and Freelancers Union found that 35% of the American workforce did some freelance work in 2019. Furthermore, 77% of them said that technology made it easier to find freelance work.
Affiliate marketing is one way to make money on the Internet. Affiliate marketing is supposed to produce passive income, but does it really work? Let’s take a closer look.Key Takeaways In simple terms, affiliate marketing means selling goods and services from another person or company Nine percent of publishers surveyed produced more than $50,000 in affiliate income in 2016.Always remember that you're likely to make more money with affiliate marketing content that is similar to your own. Traditional advertisements and selling your own products can help if your affiliate-marketing revenue dries up. Affiliate Marketing Defined In simple terms, affiliate marketing means selling goods and services from another person or company. It is like a referral service. You set up a website or blog and join affiliate programs that are relevant to your audience. You can connect to these programs through affiliate networks, which provide you with a link that you include on your site. When someone clicks the link and buys the product, you get a portion of the sale as a commission.
How Much Can You Earn?
The affiliate marketing industry is growing steadily. Statista reported that spending on affiliate marketing in the U.S. was predicted to reach $8.2 billion by 2022. That's up considerably from $5.4 billion in 2017 and $1.6 billion in 2010.Another study from VigLink offers a closer look at just how much income affiliate marketers are making. According to the survey, 9% of publishers produced more than $50,000 in affiliate income in 2016. The majority of merchants—65%—said they were making between 5% and 20% of their annual revenue from affiliate marketing. The survey also showed a link between experience and revenues. Among the merchants with the most revenue, 60% had been involved in affiliate marketing for five years or more.
65%
This majority of merchants said they were making between 5% and 20% of their annual revenue from affiliate marketing.
The biggest benefit of affiliate marketing is that you can more or less earn revenue on autopilot once it is up and running. All you need is a steady flow of traffic to your blog or website. However, there are some downsides.
read more.. https://affiliatemarketingtip24.blogspot.com/
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Increase Your Passive Income With These Profitable Affiliate Marketing Ideas
Increase Your Passive Income With These Profitable Affiliate Marketing Ideas
Boost your passive income by tapping into profitable affiliate marketing strategies. Explore programs that align with your niche and engage your audience for maximized earnings.
Affiliate marketing provides an excellent opportunity to create a stream of passive income that can grow and stabilize your financial portfolio. By simply promoting products or services on your platform, you can earn commissions on sales generated through your unique affiliate links.
>> My Best Recommended & Proven Way to Make $100 Daily — Watch THIS Video FREE Training to START >>
The Allure Of Affiliate Marketing
The world of affiliate marketing shines as a beacon to aspiring entrepreneurs. It’s a realm where dedication meets opportunity, creating streams of passive income. Imagine earning money while you sleep, travel, or spend time with family. That’s the promise of affiliate marketing, a strategy where you promote products or services and earn commissions on sales or leads.
Why Passive Income Appeals To Entrepreneurs
Passive income lures entrepreneurs for its potential to generate earnings with minimal daily effort. Affiliates make money from past work and can focus on new ventures. This income style allows for flexible lifestyles and financial security.
Financial Freedom: Continuous cash flow can lead to financial independence.
Time Management: Passive income offers the freedom to manage time on your terms.
Scalability: Grow your income by expanding your affiliate marketing efforts.
Affiliate Marketing Success Stories
Success in affiliate marketing isn’t just a dream. Real people have turned it into a substantial revenue source. Inspiring figures like Pat Flynn of Smart Passive Income fame have demonstrated how affiliate marketing can transform lives.
NameNicheMonthly EarningsPat FlynnOnline Business$100,000+Michelle Schroeder-GardnerPersonal Finance$50,000+
Stories like these prove the potential of affiliate marketing. Success stems from picking the right niche, mastering marketing tactics, and building a loyal audience.
Getting Started In Affiliate Marketing
Embarking on an affiliate marketing journey opens doors to potential earnings while you sleep. But first, learn the ropes for long-term success. Here’s your guidebook to the essentials of diving into the world of affiliate marketing.
Choosing The Right Niche
Selecting a niche is crucial. It defines the audience and products you’ll focus on. Opt for areas you’re passionate about. This keeps your motivation high.
Assess Your Interests: List topics you love and know well.
Market Demand: Check for profitable niches using tools like Google Trends.
Competition: Aim for a niche with a healthy level, not too saturated.
Understanding Affiliate Networks
Affiliate networks connect you with brands. They manage the payments too. You need to understand how they work.
NetworkCommission TypesPopular CategoriesAmazon AssociatesFixed percentageGeneralClickBankPercentage or fixedDigital productsCJ AffiliateVariesWide range
Explore each network’s pros and cons. Decide which aligns best with your niche.
Setting Up Your Affiliate Website
Your website is your online storefront. Make it an effective tool for your affiliate success.
Pick a Domain Name: Ensure it’s catchy and relevant to your niche.
Website Hosting: Choose a reliable host with excellent support.
Content Management: WordPress is user-friendly and powerful for beginners.
High-Quality Content: Craft articles that solve reader’s problems. Use visuals and videos too.
Remember, consistency is key. Keep your website updated with fresh content regularly.
Maximizing Earnings With Strategic Content Creation
Passive income through affiliate marketing is a smart way to boost your earnings. But, the key lies in how you create and share content. Let’s explore how potent, strategic content can enhance your affiliate marketing journey.
Crafting Reviews That Convert
Success in affiliate marketing often boils down to trust and authenticity. By crafting honest, in-depth reviews, you entice readers to make informed purchase decisions. Below are steps to make reviews that truly convert:
Use the product first. Your experience adds weight to your review.
Create comparison charts to illustrate differences.
Include user testimonials if available, to show real-life satisfaction.
End with a clear, compelling call-to-action.
Seo-driven Blog Posts
SEO can make or break your affiliate content. With a focus on keywords, here’s how to make blog posts that rank high and attract clicks:
Research relevant, high-traffic keywords.
Write content that solves specific problems.
Optimize your headlines and subheadings for readability and SEO.
Interlink posts to keep readers engaged.
Video Content To Boost Engagement
Video content is a powerhouse for engagement. Here are quick tips to make videos that both inform and entertain:
TipExplanationKeep it short and sweet.Attention spans are short. Make your point quickly.Show the product in action.Seeing is believing. Show how the product works.Use clear, appealing visuals and audio.Mainstream quality keeps viewers watching.Include a clear call-to-action.Direct viewers to click your affiliate link.
By blending these content strategies, your passive income can see remarkable growth. Strategic content is your key to unlocking the full potential of affiliate marketing!
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Credit: www.shopify.com
Elevating Your Affiliate Game Through Social Media
Entering the realm of affiliate marketing transforms when paired with social media’s reach. Platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter expand your audience and enhance engagement. Dive into the tactics that tweak your affiliate marketing prowess. Engage with followers, showcase products, and spark discussions for ultimate affiliate success.
Using Instagram For Product Showcases
High-quality images grab attention.
Use Instagram Stories to highlight benefits.
Tag products for easy shopping.
Include swipe-up links in stories for direct purchase.
Instagram’s visual nature allows for striking product displays. Share crisp photos and videos. Stories feature deals and testimonials. Keep a consistent aesthetic to build brand recognition.
Leveraging Facebook Groups
Join niche groups related to your products.
Provide value before promoting.
Create exclusive offers for group members.
Engage with comments to build trust.
Facebook groups serve as a hotspot for potential customers. Engage with members genuinely. Share insightful content to help solve problems before suggesting your affiliate products.
Twitter And Affiliate Marketing Synergy
TacticDescriptionHashtagsUse targeted hashtags to reach wider.Timely tweetsAlign posts with trending topics.Pinned tweetsKeep top offers at the forefront.EngagementStir conversations; interact actively.
Twitter’s rapid pace suits time-sensitive offers. Employ hashtags to connect with interested audiences. Pin your best affiliate promotions to profile tops. Monitor trends to make timely offers. Regular interaction on Twitter builds relationships and credibility.
Paid Advertising For Affiliate Products
Leaping into the world of paid advertising can catapult your affiliate marketing to new heights. Effective strategies and smart investments in ads mean your affiliate products get seen by more eyes. Let’s explore how to harness paid advertising and turn clicks into cash.
Navigating Ppc Campaigns
Pay-Per-Click (PPC) campaigns are a key tool for affiliate marketers. You only pay when someone clicks your ad. This makes it a cost-effective method to drive traffic. Understanding keywords, ad copy, and landing pages is crucial. Here are steps to start a successful PPC campaign:
Choose the right keywords relevant to your affiliate products.
Craft compelling ad copy that entices clicks.
Design conversion-optimized landing pages.
Set a budget and monitor your campaigns regularly.
Facebook Ads For Direct Promotion
Facebook Ads reach billions of users. Targeting options are vast, from interests to behaviors. Here’s a quick guide to using Facebook Ads:
Identify your audience: Use demographics to find the perfect match for your product.
Create engaging visuals: Use images and videos that stand out.
Write captivating messages: Keep it short and sweet.
Test different ads: Use A/B testing to find what works best.
Retargeting For Better Conversion Rates
Retargeting turns window-shoppers into buyers. It reminds users of products they viewed but didn’t purchase. This increases the likelihood they’ll come back and buy. Use these tips for retargeting:
Install tracking pixels on your site to follow visitors.
Create custom ads for different audience segments.
Offer special deals to recapture lost leads.
Credit: www.bankrate.com
>> My Best Recommended & Proven Way to Make $100 Daily — Watch THIS Video FREE Training to START >>
Analyzing And Optimizing Affiliate Performance
Smart affiliate marketers know that success depends on analyzing and optimizing performance. Keeping tabs on your campaigns helps boost passive income. Let’s dive into the pivotal steps to enhance your affiliate performance.
Key Metrics To Track
Knowing the right metrics can transform your affiliate marketing game. Here are the essentials:
Click-Through Rate (CTR): Measures ad effectiveness.
Conversion Rate: Shows how often clicks become earnings.
Average Order Value (AOV): Reflects revenue per sale.
Cost Per Acquisition (CPA): The cost for each sale or lead.
Return on Investment (ROI): Calculates overall profitability.
A/b Testing For Higher Ctr
A/B testing helps pinpoint which strategies win more clicks. Implement these tactics:
Test different ad placements on your site.
Try varied call-to-action (CTA) wording.
Compare landing page designs.
Analyze headline effectiveness.
Small tweaks can lead to a big leap in CTR.
Data-driven Strategy Adjustments
Let data guide your adjustments for optimal performance. Focus on:
Interpreting metrics to spot winning patterns.
Investing more in high-performing channels.
Refining audience targeting based on results.
Revising content strategy to boost engagement.
Regular analysis and tweaks keep your affiliate efforts profitable.
Advanced Affiliate Marketing Techniques
Ready to level up your affiliate marketing? Use these advanced techniques. They help raise your earning potential. Discover smart strategies that work behind the scenes. Engage with top influencers. Team up with fellow affiliates. You will unlock new revenue streams. Let’s dive into how each of these can amplify your passive income.
Automated Funnel Systems
Automated Funnel Systems streamline the customer journey. They guide visitors from the first click to the final purchase. The system is a set-it-and-forget-it tool. It works for you 24/7. No extra effort is necessary after the initial setup.
Pre-built landing pages capture leads.
Email sequences nurture these leads.
Conversion optimization tools boost sales.
Influencer Partnerships
Join hands with influencers. They bring trust and massive followings. Influencer shoutouts can send your affiliate sales soaring. A single post by a trusted influencer can surpass any ad’s performance. Choose influencers aligned with your niche. Track campaign success with custom affiliate links.
Influencer Partnership BenefitsHow to Maximize GainExpansive ReachCollaborate on a series of posts.High EngagementEngage in influencer’s community discussions.AuthenticityChoose influencers who believe in your product.
Cross-promotion With Other Affiliates
Cross-Promotion multiplies your reach. Partner with other affiliates. Share audiences. It’s a win-win situation. You both get exposed to new potential buyers. Plan joint webinars, podcasts, or bundle offers to create value.
Identify affiliates with similar target audiences.
Set clear collaboration goals.
Keep the promotion reciprocal and fair.
Frequently Asked Questions
What Is Affiliate Marketing?
Affiliate marketing is a performance-based earning strategy where you promote others’ products, earning a commission when people buy through your unique affiliate link.
How Does Affiliate Marketing Generate Income?
Affiliate marketing generates income by earning commissions from sales after customers purchase through your affiliate links embedded in content or ads.
Can Beginners Succeed In Affiliate Marketing?
Yes, beginners can succeed by choosing the right niche, learning effective marketing strategies, and consistently creating valuable, audience-focused content.
What Are Top Affiliate Marketing Strategies?
Top strategies include SEO optimization, email marketing, content marketing, and leveraging social media to drive traffic and convert leads through affiliate links.
How To Choose Profitable Affiliate Products?
Choose profitable affiliate products by assessing demand, relevance to your audience, commission rates, and the track record of the affiliate program.
Conclusion
Embarking on the affiliate marketing journey can truly amplify your income streams. By leveraging the strategies discussed, you’re poised to reap substantial rewards. Remember, consistency and smart promotion are key to success. Start implementing these ideas, and watch your passive revenue grow.
Let your financial goals reach new heights with savvy affiliate marketing moves.
>> My Best Recommended & Proven Way to Make $100 Daily — Watch THIS Video FREE Training to START >>
Thanks for reading my article on Increase Your Passive Income With These Profitable Affiliate Marketing Ideas, hope it will help!
Affiliate Disclaimer :
This article Contain may be affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission at NO ADDITIONAL cost to you if you decide to purchase something. While we receive affiliate compensation for reviews / promotions on this article, we always offer honest opinions, users experiences and real views related to the product or service itself. Our goal is to help readers make the best purchasing decisions, however, the testimonies and opinions expressed are ours only. As always you should do your own thoughts to verify any claims, results and stats before making any kind of purchase. Clicking links or purchasing products recommended in this article may generate income for this product from affiliate commissions and you should assume we are compensated for any purchases you make. We review products and services you might find interesting. If you purchase them, we might get a share of the commission from the sale from our partners. This does not drive our decision as to whether or not a product is featured or recommended.
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Get Paid to Send Emails and Build Your list. I already made $119.10 that takes about 6 mins to do daily. Watch the video here https://turnkeyemailbiz.net/cliqlytrialv1?c=142497
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Whether you want to grow your brand or sell your products, email marketing is one of the most popular and effective tools for your marketing campaigns.
This beginner's guide will quickly walk you through everything you need to know about email marketing. What are the main objectives it serves, where to start, different types of emails to send, and different aspects to consider?
Email marketing: definition
Email marketing refers to the design and sending of emails as a direct marketing channel. Long equated with mass email, today it is based on contact consent and message personalization.
Email marketing is the pillar of your digital marketing strategy and the most important direct marketing channel.
Today, it is impossible to run an online business without using email.
From order confirmation emails to newsletters, they are essential for managing and growing your business.
Why is email marketing essential?
Email marketing consists of notifying and retaining a list of contacts who are interested in your product or service and generating sales by encouraging them to visit specific pages of your website.
Email marketing can achieve three types of goals:
1. Notoriety (make yourself famous).
2: Images (position yourself as an expert).
3-Action (sell a product or service).
The communications you send are received directly in the recipient's email inbox, allowing you to be present in each recipient's daily life. In this way, email intervenes at every stage of the customer relationship.
not only for the information and lead phase at conversion but also for loyalty afterward
Email is nothing new. On the contrary, he was one of the first to appear in digital media. But it's not obsolete; email marketing is being used more than ever before.
High accessibility allows you to reach different audiences who may not necessarily be internet savvy. This is the most popular marketing medium.
Using email for marketing allows you to build lasting relationships with your customers and prospects. According to one study, 90% of Internet users visit their main address at least once a day.
Nearly half (45%) of them also manage purchases from the same address.
Email is said to be the most popular business vehicle for both professionals and people who check their email from their mobile phones.
If you don't have an email marketing strategy in place yet, you're missing out on a sales opportunity and a great opportunity to build relationships and get to know your customers better.
TO READ MORE: https://mymediamoney.blogspot.com/2023/04/what-is-email-marketing-definition-and.html
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Why not to Buy an Email List.
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How to Make Money on Coinbase: A Simple Guide
Coinbase is a leading platform for buying, selling, and managing cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin and Ethereum. With millions of users worldwide, it’s a trusted choice for both beginners and experienced traders. Here’s how you can make money using Coinbase.
Why Use Coinbase?
Coinbase offers:
User-friendly interface: Ideal for newcomers.
Top-notch security: Advanced encryption and offline storage keep your assets safe.
Diverse earning methods: From trading to staking, there are plenty of ways to earn.
Ready to get started? Sign up on Coinbase now and explore all the earning opportunities.
Setting Up Your Coinbase Account
Sign up on Coinbase’s website and provide your details.
Verify your email by clicking the link sent to you.
Complete identity verification by uploading a valid ID.
Navigate the dashboard to track your portfolio, view live prices, and access the "Earn" section.
Ways to Make Money on Coinbase
1. Buying and Selling Cryptocurrencies
Start by buying popular cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin and Ethereum at a lower price and selling them when the price goes up. It’s the basic strategy for making profits through trading.
2. Staking for Passive Income
Staking allows you to earn rewards by holding certain cryptocurrencies. Coins like Ethereum and Algorand offer staking options on Coinbase. It’s a straightforward way to earn passive income.
Maximize your earnings—get started with Coinbase today and start staking your crypto.
3. Earning Interest
Coinbase lets you earn interest on some of your crypto holdings. Just hold these assets in your account, and watch your crypto grow over time.
Advanced Trading with Coinbase Pro
For those with more trading experience, Coinbase Pro provides lower fees and advanced trading tools. Learn how to trade efficiently using features like market charts, limit orders, and stop losses to enhance your profits.
Coinbase Earn: Learn and Earn
With Coinbase Earn, you can earn free cryptocurrency by learning about different projects. Watch educational videos and complete quizzes to receive crypto rewards—an easy way to diversify your holdings with no risk.
Coinbase Affiliate Program
Promote Coinbase using their affiliate program. Share your unique referral link (like this one: Earn commissions with Coinbase), and earn a commission when new users sign up and make their first trade. It’s a fantastic opportunity for bloggers, influencers, or anyone with an audience interested in crypto.
Want to boost your income? Join the Coinbase Affiliate Program now and start earning commissions.
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You can also invite friends to join Coinbase and both of you can earn bonuses when they complete a qualifying purchase. It’s a win-win situation that requires minimal effort.
Conclusion
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Email Marketing From A to Z part 2
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homeless disabled trans person needs help paying for hotel, storage unit & phone while government assistance housing program keeps delaying their move in date
March 21st, 3/21/2024: hello, I'm equinox or Johnny, I'm a severely multiply disabled trans person living in a hotel right now due to not being able to afford apartments on the housing market right now. i have a guaranteed apartment through a government assistance program, but their compliance team keeps delaying my move in date because they cannot figure out how to calculate my earned income because i am self employed. they have been running me in circles asking for the exact same information for six months and have been becoming increasingly more condescending and rude as I've pointed out that they're asking for information i physically cannot provide, like "bank statements" for GoFundMe, a fundraiser website that considers all money earned personal gifts, and tumblr bank statements.
i haven't been able to get my hormones in weeks.
i was promised to move into my apartment on the 7th, then the 11th of this month, and it was requested of me to put the electricity bill in my name so I could get moved in as soon as possible. I did this and now i have a $20 electric bill in my name because they've delayed for so long. my unit has been sitting empty for 6 months and now I'm expected to pay for the electricity that is running in a 1 bedroom apartment I'm not living in.
i have been homeless for 6 months straight. i have been living in my hotel for 2 months. my hotel has been without WiFi for a month which forced me to get a Tracfone with a data plan so I can do my job and communicate with this apartment complex via email. i unfortunately need to buy more data because this has taken so long. most of my possessions including large portions of my stock and shipping supplies are in my storage unit, of which the $78 bill is due in 3 days.
the hotel I'm staying at is normally $40/night but the prices are skyrocketing this weekend because this is a very cheap hotel due to its low rates. i can't afford any of these nights independently of each other, let alone altogether, and it's Thursday and i haven't heard a single word about my move in date.
i have been depressed and crying for days, i cracked a tooth from clenching my teeth and i haven't been sleeping due to stress and nightmares. anything helps. thank you for taking the time to read and support and share. everyone has kept me housed for 2 months so far. i owe you all so much
PayP al: [email protected]
cash app: $glitterGraphix
venmo: @ Equinoxian
chime: @ Equinoxian
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as an aspiring writer its crazy to hear you talk about it because i wish i could write 5k per day or 100k per week only on emails holy shit???? i know its bad and being a workaholic is bad but it sorta feels like one of those things you have to do if you want to be successful these days? i might be wrong im literally only 22 i dont know much but its how it feels yknow?
like my life plan, which i know is unhealthy, is "lets work ourselves to the bone and get successful and then use the money to recover from it" which is sooooo dumb to say out loud but it feels like the only way to get anywhere yk?
While there is a lot of pressure to constantly create more and to keep up a stream of creative output, the reality is that for many people, that rate of work is just not sustainable, and you'll burn out, and it won't be worth it. The money you earn isn't enough to recover from and keep living after. It's just not.
Most of the money I made from Hunger Pangs all goes to therapy and medical bills. If I'd worked at a more sane pace and not almost killed myself with it, I could have, idk... gone on vacation instead.
Like, I'm not doing myself any favors in terms of marketability and the sales algorithm by not having new work out every year, but also like... I just can't do it. I want to make art and live. Not die trying.
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common grounds (oshamir) - chapter 16
Pairing: Osha Aniseya x Qimir "The Stranger"
A/N: So many thanks to @desertbcrnnobody for betaing this chapter!! Dividers by me once again. If you haven't checked out the playlists for Act I, Unknown Planet Dance Night, & Qimir's iPod, give them a look <3 Welcome to Act II, everybody!
series masterlist
chapter 16: the second kind of lie
Osha’s stranger rubbed at his forehead like it would help with anything. The one saving grace of this meeting was that it was a phone conference, so nobody had to see the faces he pulled from his seat in his office. He’d said his piece more than an hour ago, but now had to suffer through the invaluable reports from Marketing and Administration. Reports, or… whatever this shit was.
“…as we know, that’s when football and basketball typically start up—”
“Mike, please try to remember we don’t have a football team.”
“We have a football field.”
“It’s a multipurpose outdoor exercise area.”
“I don’t see how that’s…”
He was going crazy.
His schedule had an entire thirty minutes blocked off after this meeting, just in case it goes over, the email had said. In his entire time working for the college, he’d suffered through a half-dozen of these meetings, and every single time, they went past the allotted time. Five years ago, the meeting was two hours. This time, it was looking more like three.
Maybe I should have just stayed in Khofar and never come back to—
His cell phone buzzed from a call. The stranger’s heart leaped into his throat with the thought that it might be Osha, but—
Incoming call: Idise Skrye - ICE
“Fuck,” he muttered, glad his office phone was muted. He declined the call and set the phone on his desk.
“…eventually have to accept that it’s a football field, Jim. We can’t—”
The phone started to ring again. The vibrations buzzed it closer to the edge of the desk.
Incoming call: Idise Skrye - ICE
Declined, again. He set it even further back, glaring at it now.
The stranger wasn’t the kind of man to let his anxiety take hold in any situation, let alone a situation he had complete control over. And he did have complete control. Idise wanting to involve herself with the recent changes and additions to his personal life was a non-starter.
He hadn’t needed her input or help for a very long time. And he certainly didn’t need her help in anything regarding Osha. Surely, that’s what she—
A text came in, a staccato buzz. He was about to ignore it, but something told him to check—and he was glad he did.
:) OSHA :) : I am now completely free on sundays now lol
He sighed. Vernestra’s crusade against Osha couldn’t be legal, not even remotely. None of her vendettas were, he thought bitterly. The others there had to know it; he knew it at sixteen when she had him living at the gym and working there every day.
But the problem then was the same now: they had nothing to prove it. The stranger’s time at the Temple left him with nothing: no achievements in his name, no prize money, no safety net or support, and worst of all, no paper trail to prove he was even there for a single day of those four years.
He spent nearly two years hitting every dead-end trail he was pointed down. Calling off the hunt was his choice, despite the disappointment from the others who helped; he had to let it go, or he’d kill himself trying to bring justice to the untouchable. They had all given up so much (too much) just to gain so little, and he called it off out of consideration for the others’ sacrifices as well. After that, he wore the name of Qimir Loharne as a funeral shroud instead of a banner to rally behind.
But admitting defeat was better than being defeated.
His eyes cast up to the two small articles Osha had given him. She wasn’t sure of him when she gave him the first, and wasn’t sure of herself when she gave him the second.
The first time—the photo of himself, half-hidden behind his gloves—he’d had to earn it from her. All she’d said was that she’d seen the picture, not that she had it on her. She was testing his response to it, if unintentionally. She did that often, giving him pieces of herself by inches at a time, and only when he’d been forthcoming first. Both of them had such damaged senses of trust. She’d been betrayed by her sister, and he’d been betrayed by—well, everyone she still called family.
What a fucking mess he’d landed her in. She didn’t even see it yet. But she would, an annoyingly wise voice said in his mind—one that sounded a little too like Idise for comfort.
When Osha gave him the second article, the one printed more than twenty years ago, she’d been trepidatious and cute. They’d finished their first training session at Unplan together, and what a nightmare that could have been. Still, no hesitation, no tests, just—I found another picture of you. Her nerves were practically palpable in the seconds that followed, watching his reaction like an overeager child.
What had she expected him to do? Frisk her? Shout? Deny her? And when he’d asked her why she kept giving them to him (when he should have asked how do you keep finding these and can I hire you?) her answer had broken his heart.
There was a time that you had no evidence you existed besides your pain. You do exist beyond what happened to you. And you deserve to have proof of that.
Her gentle, unrelenting kindness killed him every day. She didn’t know who she was being kind to. She didn’t know the monster she was feeding crumbs to. It was difficult not to hate himself for it.
He didn’t hold out on hope that she would find another article like that. The first, he remembered, came from inside the Temple itself, which was a huge fluke, considering how thorough Vernestra had been everywhere else. Osha hadn’t told him where the other had come from, and he had to keep himself from wondering, let alone asking, because if she’d found it where he thought she had, there would probably be more—
No. He couldn’t think that way again. Folly or not, that line of thinking could have gotten him in deep shit, were it not for Osha stopping him all three—
No. Just stop thinking about it at all. It’s the past, and nothing came of it. Quit digging up the grave, asshole.
His knowledge lay in muscle groups, recovery timelines, and pain management. His life, his future, wasn’t meant to be spent agonizing over the past. He had to let it go.
“…the budget won’t magically widen because you want to watch football games at the f—multiporpoise—”
“Multipurpose.”
“That’s what I said.”
“You said porpoise.”
“So?”
He made a deal with himself—he’d stop thinking about these things again after this brain-blending meeting.
One idea remained at the center of everything—what if he did have evidence?
If he had evidence, he could convince others to give a testimony. If he had evidence and testimonials, he could take Vernestra to court. There was no way of knowing which lawyers already sat under Vernestra’s thumb. The most they’d ever found out about her lawyer was that he commanded a firm with a reputation for ruining lives.
And he knew just how well they could do it.
But then what? Even if he could pay for a lawyer with balls of fucking titanium, what would they do with their evidence and testimony? Would it be a civil suit, just settling things between Vernestra and himself the way they’d thought it’d be ten years ago? Would he attempt a criminal suit, exposing the harmful practices, gross negligence, and abuse of authority at the Temple?
Why stop there? Why not prosecute everyone else involved? Why not expose the viper den of corruption in the city and take down the Hutts, with all he knew? Why not burn the whole fucking city to the firmament, with the Temple at ground fucking zero?
See, this is why I can’t let myself think about it for too long, he thought bitterly.
“It’s not worth it to pursue this argument, Mike—”
“Argument? What argument?”
He texted Osha back.
Q: What would you like to do with all that free time?
O: Hmmmmmm…
O: Might have to get back to you on that ;)
He smirked down at his phone. Osha was fun. It’d been a long time since he’d let someone fun willingly into his life. For all he worked in a field run on games, he never attended to enjoy them. He monitored college athletes for injuries and worked hard to prevent more each gameday. Maybe he was just a grouch.
“…think the budget will allow for one alumnus box in the football f—”
“Mike, we’re not going to get through the agenda items if you keep—”
“Maybe we should call it a day…” The stranger recognized the voice of the assistant chair of the athletics department. He quickly punched off the mute on his phone.
“I concur, Brenda,” he said, as a cacophony of other voices joined in.
“Excellent suggestion, Brenda.”
“We can circle back offline about this, M—”
“Jeanine, can you—thank you, everybody, I’ll send a follow-up email in an hour… Two hours. I’ll see you Monday. Nevermind the email. Have a good weekend.”
Dear fucking god. Blessed silence. He closed his eyes, pulling his hat down over his eyes until the ringing in his ears stopped. Bzz-bzzt. He peeked at his phone.
:) OSHA :) : Wanna get lunch? Or is that meeting still happening????
A series of blank boxes came in beneath Osha’s message, which he now knew symbolized a barrage of emojis his phone couldn’t receive.
Q: The meeting just ended, thankfully. I can pic
A new text came in.
Idise Skrye - ICE: Avoiding me like this won’t end how you want it to, Qimir.
“Fat chance,” he muttered, clicking back to his conversation with Osha to finish his message. Another text came in, dragging him back to Idise. He groaned.
I: Is this about her?
He gave in, responding to her for the first time in nearly a year.
Q: Back off.
I: No.
I: You are WORRYING me.
Q: What I do with her doesn’t concern you.
Q: None of what I do concerns you.
I: You’re a spectacular liar if you’ve convinced yourself of that.
He already knew he was a good liar; he’d learned how to be a great one just recently. God, he hated himself.
Q: I’m fine.
Incoming call: Idise Skrye - ICE
He hit decline. Idise messaged him again.
I: I’m going to find out what’s going on eventually.
I: We’ve known each other too long for you to cut me out like this and not expect me to want answers.
Q: Get used to disappointment.
I: No :)
When one minute passed, then two, he accepted she was done with him. He breathed out in relief, but inhaled regret.
She is going to find out, he thought. It twisted his stomach.
They both are.
“Ankle?”
“Two.”
“Knee?”
“F—three.”
“Fthree?” he sounded dubious. It still stunned her that he could exert authority even on his knees before her.
“Three.”
“Are you sure it’s not a four?” he asked intently. “The temperature’s been dropping hard in the afternoons, and I know it gives me trouble.”
“Yes, I’m sure it’s not a four.”
He sat back on his knees, assessing her in that way that said, you have one more chance to answer honestly.
Osha scowled at him, just wanting him to tape her up. She’d been spoiled by his touch; she hadn’t realized how little physical affection she’d gotten growing up with Sol and the Temple until recently. But Qimir had always been touchy with her—form corrections, massages, assisted stretching—and now he’d cranked the dial to eleven. He loved touching her whenever she was in reach: straightening her clothes, adjusting her hair, and, of course, kissing her.
He squeezed her thigh, prompting an answer—an honest one.
“It’s a four.” If her voice came out a little squeakier at the feeling of his hand on her leg, then that was her problem.
He applied lidocaine spray and her usual tape before helping her adjust the compression sleeve he bought for her a few days ago. It helped her knee soreness, but she’d been worried about it making her stand out. When he pointed out that almost everyone in Unknown Planet wore some kind of gear like that, her self-consciousness dissipated almost entirely.
“Pain doesn’t make appointments, Osha,” he said sagely. “It’s always an unexpected walk-in and doesn’t care for business hours.”
“Aw, like you,” she said, nudging his side with her other leg. He just smirked.
Down in the gym, he ran her through her usual mobility and strength tests, a necessary litmus for any day her pain was over a one—so, nearly every day. After that, they moved to her favorite part of every session: new skills. Tonight’s was jiu-jitsu basics.
“Alright, and when you shrimp, you have to—c’mon, it’s not that funny,” he said exasperatedly.
“I didn’t realize you were serious. We’re shrimping? I have to refine my shrimp?” Osha giggled.
“To some jiu-jitiero, laughing at this is heretical. You’ll be burned at the stake, Osha.”
“Are you some jiu-jitiero? Are you the Shrimpish Inquisition?”
He kissed her forehead, fondly rolling his eyes. “I’m not. C’mon, shrimpie. Back to work.”
She didn’t feel like she did any good, despite the hot, melty feeling she still had from all his praise tonight. Sitting on the floor later, she exchanged her gym shoes for her winter boots.
“We’ll be back here again tomorrow. Is that alright?” Qimir asked.
“Why?” Tomorrow was usually a swim day.
“I want to make sure you get as much time as you wanted learning the new skills before the full moon.” They’d agreed to hold off most sparring sessions until the fight list came out, as to assuage worries of others in Unknown Planet. “You were so eager about making requests, so tomorrow you get to choose from either kickboxing or dim-mak.”
“What’s dim-mak?”
“Death point striking.”
Concerning range of options, there. Seemingly deliberately, he didn’t mention—
“When am I going to start weapons training?” Osha pouted.
“I know you were fascinated by the knife work last week, but it’s important to me that you win a fight unarmed first. No gloves. No headgear. And no knives.”
“Yeah, but what if I need a weapon to gain the upper hand against someone in the cage? Wouldn’t knowing how to use a knife come in handy?”
“When you can win a fight in the cage without a weapon, then I’ll train you on knives. It’s a symbolic thing.”
“Oh, it’s a symbolic thing. My bad. Completely understand now,” she scoffed, slumping her shoulders and letting herself wallow in melodrama. She kicked her legs out in front of her, ragdoll-sprawled against the wall.
“Listen, Osha. If you rely too much on your tools, you become trapped by their very limited list of uses. Knives are tools. Gloves are tools. Safety pads and headgear are tools. Making do with what they can’t take from you is an edge that never dulls. A knife can’t say the same.”
“A knife can’t say anything. It’s a knife.”
“Exactly.”
“I was being sarcastic.”
“And yet, your point agrees with mine.”
It seemed like a strange benchmark to pass—and why had he said it was important to him that she fight (well, win) unarmed?
“What’s the symbolism?” she asked.
Qimir was quiet then, walking across the room to fiddling with his bag. He faced away as he spoke. “Have you ever heard the phrase, treat your weapon as an extension of yourself?”
In nearly every training sequence in every action movie ever, yeah. But also—it’s something they said at the Temple the first time a kid ever put on their gloves. Treat these with respect. They are an extension of yourself. In a fight, they are your life. Osha couldn’t help thinking about the teal blue gloves gathering dust in a storage box buried deep in her closet. The day she’d lost the ability to wear her gloves with pride (to wear them for a purpose), it had felt like a severance of the spirit.
“I have.”
“It’s not good advice. It’s not even advice. It’s a dream. And it’s shared by people who have not touched the darkness inside them. The Temple insists that a tool—a weapon—should be an extension of yourself. And to someone just starting, someone who doesn’t know better, it can help to keep fighting form. Broken clocks being right twice a day, and all.
“But consider the way you wrapped your ankle before you started using KT tape. It’s a stabilizing wrap that prevents further injury, right? But it actively weakened your joints and sapped your strength and stability. Why?”
“Because I got used to it. Became reliant on it.”
Another nod. She wished she could see his face.
“The tape isn’t the problem—the tools aren’t the problem. It’s the reliance on them. They go from being useful to nothing more than a buffer, a barrier, a shield to hide behind in a situation meant for combat and confrontation. They’re… training wheels. Reliance dulls the edge of your fear-sense with false confidence. And denying your fear—”
“Doesn’t erase the danger you’re in,” Osha recited, truisms clicking into place.
Qimir nodded, but still didn’t turn around. “In that same vein, the idea that it’s the weapon that’s deadly is another buffer; it breeds another dangerous delusion to hide behind. You’re the one with lethality. You’re the deadly one in the cage. The Temple tricks you into believing that your hands can be kept clean of the bloodshed, unstained by darkness, just because the shiny red gloves hide the evidence.”
He turned to face her fully, arms at his sides.
“I’ve accepted my darkness. It’s up to you, Osha, to decide what you do with yours. There’s no not touching it, in the cage. It will touch you regardless if you reach for it or not.” He came closer, kneeling between her legs to unwrap the black fabric from between her fingers and around her wrists. “I want you to know that I believe in you. Knife or no knife, you’re going to be the deadliest thing in that cage when I send you in.”
She swallowed back a lump in her throat. “What if I fuck up, though? I don’t want to embarrass you if I get tossed in with a knife and bleed to death my first time in the ring.” Humor. That’s a good trick.
He gave her a thoughtful but defiant look. She gave him one right back, pouting and refusing to acknowledge his you’re-being-ridiculous face.
“Well, if that’s what you’re worried about—”
Qimir struck like a viper, taking advantage of her sulking to pin her to the floor like he’d done on the mats half an hour ago. When he drove his hips between her thighs, she felt part of her brain melt into some kind of grayish goo, but her fighting reflexes were nearly as fast as his.
Osha reacted instinctually, bringing her hands to her chest and wrapping her legs around his waist. She rolled onto her left shoulder and drove her hips back into the opening she made herself. She used the momentum and the strength in her thighs to pull him to the ground. Qimir folded like a fucking birthday card and collapsed onto his elbows in the place where she just was.
They stared at each other, breathing a little hard from the scuffle. “You’re already ready for the cage,” he panted. “Good enough to survive.”
“Then why are you waiting?” she asked.
“Because I’m not training you just to survive, Osha. And I’m not training you to win. I’m training you so that when you want to win, you will.” Qimir leaned in and stole a kiss. “Good shrimping, Osha.”
Bastard.
At the final stoplight before the apartment building, she rolled her head to the side to look at him, bathed in red. He pulled off his glasses to wipe them off on his jacket, and for a moment, he looked—
“Do you remember how I got kind of weird on the drive home, that night we went dancing?”
Qimir looked surprised by the sudden shift in topics, pushing his glasses back on and frowning a little. “I… you seemed upset about something.”
They pulled into the parking spot he usually took near her building. “It’s silly,” she laughed, fiddling with her jacket pockets. “I kind of fell asleep and… had a dream.”
“And the dream upset you?”
“No,” she shook her head, finally looking over at him. “Waking up from it did.”
She caught his eyes softening, a fond quirk to his lips. “What was the dream about?”
“You,” she hedged.
“Me?” he said, smirk widening. “Then why were you so upset to see me when I woke you up?” She could have gotten drunk off the laughter in his voice.
“Well, you weren’t kissing me when I woke up, so the dream was definitely the b—”
She thought she’d be more upset by the cliché interrupted-by-a-kiss thing, but when it was him, she couldn’t help but sigh and accept it. The angle was awkward with how they were sitting, but he did most of the work leaning into her space. His lips tasted like the electrolyte mix in his shaker cup, but his tongue tasted like fire when it passed against hers.
She moaned into his mouth, reaching for him and kissing him back with fervor. His exhale was shaky, a soundless moan in return. She didn’t mean for the kiss to get this deep and passionate, but she didn’t mind that this was how it turned out.
Uncountable kisses later, he pulled back, kissing her forehead before panting, “There. I’ve made your dreams come true.”
Bastard.
She really, really liked him.
Mae: Sol wants us to have dinner together this Saturday
M: Did he text you?
Osha frowned at Mae’s messages. Qimir had told her he had a surprise planned for her birthday—also this Saturday.
In the week since defending his title in the masquerade—since he kissed her against no less than a dozen different walls and doors—Osha and Qimir had hardly spent a night apart, either at the gym or the pool or on a date. She liked those plans. She really liked those plans.
But Sol wanted to reinstate family dinner seemingly out of nowhere. It had been over a month since their last one, and Osha felt better because of it—even if part of her missed the familiarity of the tradition. Even if a small, treacherous part of her was just a girl who missed her dad. It made her chest ache to think about the distance for too long, but she’d replaced those moments of pain with moments of joy—with Qimir. The timing wasn’t suspicious, but the concept of returning to normal without clearing the air repulsed her somewhat
O: Birthday dinner?
O: I thought we were 27 not 17
M: You haven’t been by in a while…
“And whose fault is that?” Osha scoffed to herself.
O: Three days is kind of short notice, I could have plans
(She hoped she had plans.)
M: Did something happen between you and Sol?
She froze at Mae’s message. She hadn’t gotten around to meeting Indara after their talk a week ago, which left the gaps in her information to fester with unanswered questions. Indara had said Qimir held a grudge against Sol, but Osha hadn’t asked him anything about that either.
Maybe if they were less concerned about kissing each other’s faces off when they were alone, they could have an actual conversation.
Still, Sol was involved in the whole conspiracy—Osha just didn’t know how. She grew uneasy at any attempt to reconcile that the reasons for the dark shadows cast on Qimir’s past came from Sol’s sunny, compassionate self.
O: We might need to ta
Osha deleted the message.
O: Everything is f
She deleted that message, too.
O: Has Sol ever told you about
Before her thumb could hit the Q on her keyboard, another message from Mae came in.
M: Do you think about our mothers at all
Osha remembered a lesson from her high school physics class about three-stage collisions. She’d dissociated through most of it, vividly imagining the car wreck that killed her parents, and ensuing fire that killed everybody else.
The car hits the object (the truck hits the tree).
The body hits the car (her mama hits the truck).
The organs hit the body (the life leaves her eyes).
And the followup:
(The grass catches fire.)
(The fire traps the women.)
(The women burn alive.)
Getting Mae’s message felt a lot like those terrible memories. She hit ‘call’ before she was fully aware of it. Once she heard Mae pick up, she asked, “Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I’m okay…” Mae said, her voice sounding a little thick. The sniffle confirmed it.
“What’s going on, Mae?”
Mae sighed, her voice shaky. “Well, you know, it’s just—I know it’s like so far from the anniversary, but… I mean, it’s another birthday they’re not here, you know, and… yeah.”
They’d lost everyone but each other that day. Mae had been unconscious for most of the accident, but Osha was not. Osha remembered everything. She remembered the fireworks still bursting in the distance, mixing with the dazed lights dancing in her eyes. She remembered the heat of summer feeling cool compared to the fire licking inside the car and the scent of—
Her voice came out a little sharper than intended.
“I’m aware.”
“I just, I’m at their graves, and—”
“For fucks sake, Mae,” Osha hissed, glancing at the clock. Qimir was most likely downstairs, waiting to take her on their date. “Why didn’t you tell me you wanted to go?”
“I know you don’t like going.”
“I want you to tell me these things, Mae. If—you know, I don’t like going, you’re right. But you know I’d go with you if you wanted me to, right?”
Mae sniffled on the other end of the call, and the shift against the receiver sounded like she was nodding—forgetting Osha couldn’t see her. “I’m sorry, Oshie.”
“Do—” She closed her eyes and took a breath. “Do you need me to be with you? I have my car.”
“You probably have plans already—”
“That’s not what I asked, Mae. Do you need me?” Osha was surprised to find she meant it, too.
A few seconds passed. “No, I think I’ll be okay. I promise I’ll tell you next time I want to go. This was just—I was just thinking about them a lot today. And I wondered if you thought about them, too.”
Osha couldn’t help the disorienting, unhappy memories that flooded her mind. (Dirt hits the coffin.)
“I do,” she lied. “All the time.”
When she finally got downstairs, she ignored Qimir’s greeting and walked right into his arms, pulling him into a hug. He reacted similarly to the first time she hugged him, but now it took much less time to return it.
“Whoa—hey, are you—hi,” he said, arms coming to gingerly rest around her shoulders before squeezing her against him. The tightness in her chest lessened some.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled into his chest. “Just need a hug right now.”
“Is everything alright?” he asked after a few quiet moments holding her. His hand came up to hold the back of her neck. It was a quiet, but powerful gesture that smudged away the sharper edges of her anxiety. It comforted her—and turned her on more than words could say.
She shook her head, both to clear her mind and tell him things weren’t alright. “I was literally one foot out the door when Mae called me.”
“What’d she say? Did something happen?” He rubbed her shoulders, never once letting up the pressure he kept around her body. Qimir’s hugs were less an embrace and more, what if I squeeze you like a condiment packet—affectionately!
“Nothing happened. She just told me she was at our mothers’ graves.”
“Oh, no,” he said softly. “Do you need to talk about it? Or do you need me to distract you?”
She didn’t answer, and held her silence for so long that he eventually tilted her head back so he could look at her. In the low light, she could make out his eyes flicking rapidly over her face. He stroked a thumb over her cheekbone—checking if she was crying. She couldn’t help but smile, her storm of sadness breaking like the sun behind the clouds.
“I think distraction is the best bet.”
“I know how to do that.”
Osha didn’t know for certain, but she was pretty sure that hanging out where you worked didn’t qualify as a date. But they didn’t have many options. If Indara could spot Mae and Qimir by random happenstance, it was possible for them to be spotted together. Indara had told her to be discreet with him, in case Vernestra ever caught wind of them.
Qimir had declared all the drop-in hang-outs they’d shared at his apartment to be prequel dates, so that was another option.
What exactly about them makes them dates?
The fact I was and am completely infatuated with you.
Hearing him talk like that while a bed was so conveniently nearby was a dangerous game to play.
She wanted to return the favor and invite him over to her apartment, but it was still too risky—not while Mae hadn’t fully earned back her trust and not while Sol still had the emergency key. Perhaps when they’re all out of town next week…
Fortunately, Unknown Planet was still a decent place to go.
They still had a lot of ‘getting to know’ questions to ask each other and usually spent their quieter lulls in conversation asking one another off-the-wall curiosities.
Do you listen to music a lot? she’d ask.
My iPod goes with me everywhere, he’d answer.
Why’d you get your piercing? he’d ask.
Seemed like a good idea at the time, she’d answer.
“Have you thought about leaving the city?” he asked her tonight.
“Oh, too many times. Never seriously, though. They’re the kind of thoughts that hardly qualify even as daydreams.” Osha played with the edge of a cardboard drink coaster. “What about you?”
“I’ve left a few times. Typically for work, but not very recently. Even when I think I’ll stay away, I always end up coming back.” Yeah, like when you disappeared for two months, she thought to herself. The question stuck on the tip of her tongue but her mouth wouldn’t let her ask what she wanted.
“How do you feel about that?”
He sighed, leaning back and looking around Unplan with an undiscerning gaze before it settled on her. He waited a moment before saying, “Just too many things I miss here.”
She tried not to fluster, but he seemed to know just which buttons to press to get her back in this position. She didn’t begrudge him for it. It thrilled her.
“Where would you go?” he asked.
“If I left the city?”
He hummed, nodding. His hand moved languidly toward his beer, taking his time and enjoying every second he spent with her. Like this, relaxed, it was hard to believe he could use that same body to pummel people into the ground.
“I don’t know,” Osha said. “Somewhere I could see the stars, maybe? Where I grew up, the stars were so bright we didn’t even need flashlights to get around half the time.”
The compound was about fifty miles from the city—now a burned-out husk in the snow. She once considered it to be a fortress, the high walls and open courtyards making her feel like a princess. The lack of any metropolitan light pollution and their off-the-grid lifestyle made it possible to number the stars until sunrise, some nights.
Qimir smiled, like he knew she was reminiscing about those halcyon days. He took her hand and pulled it to his lips. Her knuckles were always red-raw these days, between the biting cold weather and their training, but she forgot to be self-conscious whenever he would kiss her so sweetly.
“I’m taking you somewhere nice next Saturday,” he said.
Oh. Right.
Osha winced, saying, “Mae also told me that Sol wants to do family dinner next week.”
“Same day?” he said. He kept his face carefully neutral, neither pouting nor smiling.
Osha nodded. “It might be suspicious if I don’t accept, since. Yeah.” She sighed, hating that the plans she’d been looking forward to had been—
He was asking her something.
“What?”
“How do you feel about that?” he asked, repeating her question to him from earlier.
She sighed, shaking her head. “It’s hard. I want to make up with Mae, but she betrayed my trust, and it’s hard to get over that.”
He took a drink of his beer, his hand moving a little faster than before. Like a flinch, her fighter’s eye said.
“Not that I’m on her side,” Qimir said after a moment. “But why is it a betrayal if she simply didn’t tell you what she was doing?”
“I mean, betrayal implies a faithlessness in the other person, or disloyalty.”
“Faithlessness?” he asked, in a voice so soft she wasn’t sure he meant to speak out loud.
“Faith that the other person wouldn’t understand where they were coming from. Obviously that’s not all betrayal is, but yeah. If she told me, I would have been surprised, but I like to think I would have been at least a little understanding.”
Osha wasn’t certain. Two years ago, her depression was still fairly bad. She wasn’t a pleasant person to be around, so defensive over everything anyone else did. She wanted Mae to come to her about things like this, yes, but she would have been nasty about it back then.
I want this to be mine for a while, she’d told Fillik. She was talking about Qimir back then, and in a way, Mae’s actions showed that same motivation. Osha would have snapped and snarled about how great it was that Mae was training. Let’s be real, I would have called her greedy and selfish.
“I don’t think she ever planned on telling me. If it weren’t for me meeting you, I’m sure she would have taken her time with you to the grave. We talked about her classes sometimes, and she never came clean. It may not have started as a lie, but it became one the longer her deception continued. Which is ironic, since she always claimed that honesty was the most important trait in a person.”
Osha shook her head, taking a drink of her beer.
“And what do you think?” Qimir asked, his voice still a little soft like before.
“I just told you—”
“Do you think honesty is the most important trait in a person?”
The answer was complicated. Sol had been very black-and-white when it came to her and her sister telling the truth, but when it came to serious topics, he would rather hear nothing at all than be forced to listen to their honesty. They had to ask Indara about their periods because Sol couldn’t stomach it. And later on, Sol didn’t want to hear Osha talking about her pain, her honest experiences. So she had to spin him little lies about I’m fine and it feels like it never happened while she agonized.
The truth mattered little to those determined not to listen.
“I think… there are two kinds of lies. The ones we tell to benefit others are momentary comforts—because the world is scary, and we’ll go crazy if we think about it for too long. Fairytales and ghost stories and no, I promise, we’re going to be okay when they know we’re not. Whenever we say I’m fine and we’re not. Those are illusions, but they’re comforts nonetheless.
“The other kind is much more sinister: the lies we tell to benefit ourselves. We know they’re nasty, and harmful, so we make them seem like the first when we hide them in silence and omission. What they don’t know can’t hurt them, until it does. At the end of the day, someone else is going to be hurt by that silence and that omission, and that hurt will only deepen the longer those silences go on.”
Qimir looked deeply troubled, staring into the dark surface of his beer. He nodded at long last, just taking a while to digest her point of view.
“Do you think you’ll ever forgive her?” he asked.
“I want to. I love her; she’s my sister. But I can’t let her think it’s over and done with just because she said she’s sorry. She hurt me, and hurt you, and seriously corrupted her morals for stupid reasons. The issue isn’t that I don’t know if I’ll forgive her—I don’t know if she’ll do that kind of thing again. Until I know that for sure…” she shrugs, not knowing how to end that sentence.
Qimir nodded again, draining the rest of his beer. When he set down the empty glass, he brought her hand up to his lips, kissing her palm. “What time do you think you’ll be finished with dinner?” he asked. “On Saturday.”
His mouth on her skin proved distracting as ever, but she managed to give him the time they were generally finished. “…it may run late if Sol is… well, if he’s Sol about it. But Mae said it’d just be the three of us, so I’m not counting on it.”
He looked unbothered. “My time is yours. If you’re up for it, we can still do what I have planned.”
“What did you have planned?”
He winked. “I suppose you’ll have to wait and see.”
“Ugh, nooo…”
“What’s up?”
Osha glared at the text on her screen. Damn Yord for convincing her to check her email more often.
“Employee evaluations are tomorrow. I’m last on the list, which means I have to stick around the gym for like two hours after my shift ends. I might be late to the pool.”
“We can push it back; I have errands to run anyway.” He never took his eyes off the road, pulling carefully into the icy streets.
She appreciated it. He’d always been a safe driver whenever she was a passenger in his car, but especially after Mae’s breakdown, he’d been doubly sure to make Osha feel safe with him behind the wheel.
The multitasking he did allow himself while driving was spent coming up with something to say in return. Despite precedent telling her otherwise, she half-expected him to tell her to simply cut her losses and quit any association with the Temple. He had more than enough reason to rail on them to her any chance he got. Hell, she’d almost asked why he wasn’t more openly hostile toward them after speaking with Indara.
That was another thing she hadn’t gotten around to talking about. They’d become so caught up in the newness of whatever they were that the idea that talking about the awkward, difficult things seemed repugnant. She’d brought a newfound warmth to his eyes, and she didn’t want it icing over with mention of his time at the Temple. It would be a step backwards that spanned in the miles.
“How do you think it will go?” he asked diplomatically.
“I have no idea,” she sighed, leaning on the headrest and looking out at the street. “Is it bad I kind of hope she fires me?”
“I don’t think it’s bad, per se,” he said. He carefully stopped at a red light. “It would definitely play into what she wants if you ask about it.”
“What she wants?”
“She wants to erase you from the pristine image of the Temple.”
“Ah.” How could she forget?
“I’m more worried about what Vernestra will say to you. For all she disliked displays of emotion, she always sought to elicit them—perhaps provoke is a better word. I don’t want her taking shots at you, even if I know you can hold your own against her.”
He pulled carefully into the icy intersection. She noticed his recent caution had been doubled just tonight.
“You’re driving like a grandma, even for you,” she pointed out.
“Just want to be safe on the places the salt trucks haven’t hit yet. On the way to work today, someone slid right through the crosswalk at a red light.”
“What? That sounds so scary!”
“Nobody was hurt,” he said quickly. “I know that kind of thing happens a lot around this time of year. So—better safe than sorry.”
She kissed his cheek. So thoughtful. “Thank you.”
The next day, dark clouds and wind whipped at her face each time she dared brave the outdoors. The city had the horrible quirk of a microclimate that turned mild weather severe, so even though the suburbs were snowy and cheerful, within the heart of the concrete jungle a tundra blazed.
Strange, that the cold can burn just as well as flames.
The nasty weather set the scene for her shift rather poignantly. Hardly anybody came in, for coffee or classes. The Temple would shut down for three weeks starting after the coming weekend, meaning Osha wouldn’t see hide or hair of Mae, Sol, or anybody else she usually spent time with—before Qimir sidled into her life, that is.
Osha was waiting her turn to be called into Vernestra’s office. The shop had been dead all day from the prohibitive weather. She distracted herself by doing smooth, static stretches behind the bar—loosening the sudden tension in her knee as the hours edged toward the afternoon—damn it, Qimir was right about the temperature playing tricks on her joints.
Speaking of Qimir, he hadn’t texted her back all day. He’d sent her a text around sunrise, wishing her a good morning, but there’d been nothing since. It worried her, which wasn’t the greatest distraction from her mounting anxiety about this meeting.
She heard Vernestra’s office door open at the top of the stairs, followed by her voice from further in. “It’s unfortunate that we can’t work together again, Ms. Skrye.” She sounded annoyed.
Great. Now I’m getting an evaluation while Vernestra is already displeased. Osha drifted closer to the end of the bar. She was trying not to snoop—but she was desperate for something to break the malaise-addled mold of the last few hours.
“Don’t look so upset, I didn’t say no. I told you I’d have to think about it, ma’am—I have some concerns about your contract.”
Something about the speaker’s voice was gut-wrenchingly familiar. She couldn’t place it just yet. Osha froze in place, eyes fixed on the stairs leading to the upper landing.
“It’s essentially the same one as last time.” Vernestra huffed. “I appreciate you hearing me out, though.”
“You’re welcome. I should get back to you within a week. You’re not the only one who wants my work.”
“Do you recommend any old colleagues who would be interested in the job?”
“None as good as me—or as discreet.”
The speaker stood in the doorway with their back turned. Their silhouette rang bells, but she couldn’t place exactly what kind of bells—alarm?
“I should hope so, Ms. Skrye,” Vernestra said. “Have a pleasant day.”
The speaker turned, and it took Osha’s complete control not to flinch when they locked eyes across the space.
Those weren’t alarm bells ringing—they were match bells.
Idise—the cage fighter who previously held the title of Daybreak—stood more than thirty feet away, but Osha could still make out a mostly-faded shiner around her left eye, a souvenir from the new moon. She wouldn’t have recognized her if she hadn’t seen Idise around the gym periodically. Osha had almost convinced herself—resigned herself—to carry some respect for Idise as a fighter and someone with whom Qimir had a history.
Speaking of history.
Work together? Again??
Indara’s story—the private investigator.
She lost track of him when he joined up with the Hutts.
Qimir’s remarks.
She’s known me since before I joined the gym.
Medora.
She nominated him for the cage.
Kana.
Q and Idise are close.
Osha remembered to breathe through her shock. Idise’s look of surprise matched hers, but she mastered her facial expression much faster than Osha did.
Where Idise’s face shifted into concern and curiosity, Osha’s morphed into an angry sneer. Idise worked with Vernestra. She stalked Qimir for her. Was she lying to him all this time? Now Osha had no idea what to think. She could only make room for indignant, righteous fury bubbling through her veins.
“Osha? You can come on up,” Vernestra said. She hadn’t poked her head out of her office, the usual power move.
How much did Vernestra know? How much did Idise tell her?
“Coming!” Osha said, steeling herself. She’d tell Qimir about this later, she vowed. She’d drive to his apartment as soon as things were wrapped up here.
She had to pass Idise on the stairs as she made her way up, and couldn’t help shoulder-checking her just a little bit.
Idise took it in stride, grunting and reaching out for support on the rickety balustrade.
“Whoops,” Osha said flatly.
“No, it’s my fault. Sorry.” Idise’s eyes were intense, brow furrowed, and didn’t match the lightness of her tone. She looked like she was trying to tell Osha something without speaking, but Osha refused to hear (or, she supposed, see) her out.
When that became clear to her, Idise did something Osha didn’t expect. She leaned a few inches closer, then—
“Don’t sign anything,” Idise breathed, lips barely moving. It was so soft Osha almost asked her to repeat herself, but Idise had already torn herself away, strutting down the rest of the steps toward the door. She didn’t look back as she disappeared into the storm beyond the glass. The only evidence she was here was the scent of her perfume—sandalwood and frankincense.
Fitting, for someone in league with the Temple.
“Osha?” Vernestra said, reminding her of why she was here. Osha refocused and stepped into the office. Vernestra was reading a paper on her desk, not even looking up as she asked, “Everything alright?”
“Yeah, just a little clumsy lately. Because of the weather.” She recalled her gameplan: she had to sell this lie somehow, and in order to do so, she had to keep it firmly rooted in some kind of truth. The more she called attention to her injury, the better—Vernestra was like Sol, wanting the truth but not honesty from the people around her.
Sure enough, Vernestra’s face flushed in distaste as she glanced quickly at Osha’s ankle. Ultimately, she said nothing about her remark. “You can take a seat.”
Osha hoped she could get through this meeting without looking like a fool—or screwing anybody over. Still, she tried to get some information for herself.
“Who was that walking out? I’ve never seen her here before.” Not, I’ve never seen her before.
“She’s an old colleague of mine. Networking is an important aspect of running a business. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”
Damn. No dice.
“I suppose,” Osha said, taking the defeat in the manner she usually would: head bowed, face cowed. She braced herself for further lashes, or for an interrogation about Qimir or Unknown Planet—what had Idise told her?—but Vernestra surprised her.
“You know you’re still welcome to take classes at the Temple, Osha.”
She faltered in her present train of thought. “Isn’t—is this part of the evaluation?”
“Oh, of course,” Vernestra said lightly, though her eyebrow twitched in annoyance at the reminder. It unsettled Osha. She watched her shuffle the few papers on her desk before picking one up and reading off of it. “You’ve shown yourself to be a steadfast and reliable employee who shows up on time—and goes above and beyond her job duties. Areas to improve include lessening the appearance of laziness in the work environment. It casts a bad light on the alertness of our employees, so try to use the stool less—or, preferably, only on your breaks. Consideration for leadership roles is dependent on showing future progress.” She set the paper down and flashed Osha a quick smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “There. Evaluated.”
“I… um, thank you.” She’d been caught on the back foot several times in her life, most often in the ring—very rarely in conversation. This was one of those times. “Um, leadership roles?” she asked, keeping her hands in her lap.
“Well, that depends on if you even want to still stay at the Temple,” Vernestra said in a concerned voice that Osha didn’t believe for one second.
“I do!” Osha exclaimed. “Of course I do. My dad and sister are here, and I don’t even have any friends outside the Temple. It’s—it’s all I have.”
I deserve an Oscar.
The sadistic delight in Vernestra’s eyes glimmered behind a faint veil of concern—no, pity. “Like I said before, you’re more than welcome to rejoin classes, so long as they’re at the appropriate level for your… ability.”
“That’s…” Nice to know, right when the fucking gym is about to be closed for like a week. “Wonderful to hear, ma’am.”
“There are just a few concerns I have.”
She recalled what Qimir told her.
For all she disliked displays of emotion, she always sought to elicit them—perhaps provoke is a better word.
She’d give her a provocation.
“I know, and I’m so so sorry about the last time we spoke—it’s just—” It was very easy to draw on her emotions and bring tears to her eyes. What looked like tears of desperation were really tears of anger. “It’s just so hard, you know? I messed up. I should have apologized for my behavior sooner, I really do love it here.” She hoped her choked-up voice sold the sorrow—it just felt like bile to even say.
Vernestra shifted in her seat, discomforted by the emotional display. Perfect. “Behavior?”
“The—oh god, I yelled at you… about Huyang?”
She grimaced. “Right. The… espresso machine.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get all—like this.”
For as much as Verosha liked to humiliate Osha, and this would have definitely been a humiliating thing for others to witness, Vernestra looked uncomfortable when nobody else was there to face Osha’s emotions. Not as fun without an audience, hm?
“That’s. Fine. I was surprised by your outburst but I should have come to expect it from you by now.”
The insult was sharp, but only cut through empty air. Three months ago, Osha would have actually begged for the second chance being offered—and she would have flinched to hear such a swipe at her character. So she flinched.
Vernestra’s chest puffed out somewhat, and Osha subtly watched her gaze briefly flicker to a filing cabinet in the corner. It was different than all the rest—one of those heavy-duty fireproof ones that locked down like Fort Knox. Osha didn’t know why the sight of it seemed to calm Vernestra down, but it did.
“I feel,” Vernestra began, “as if we should… clear the air between us, lest any further misunderstandings bloom between us and fruit consequences.”
“Like getting fired?”
It was a risky thing to say. On one hand, getting fired was a surefire way to lose access to whatever evidence she needed in the Temple—possibly in that filing cabinet, in fact. But on the other hand, it had the capacity to cut her loose from the poisoned, toxic environment she was still tied down to.
Vernestra sent her a condescending look. “No. If I was going to fire you, I wouldn’t have minced words when you came in here. I… just wanted to have a chat, Osha.”
“While, yes, you would have to work on your attitude and show significant improvement in your physical capabilities, I would need to see you acting like a true leader in the Temple. You’re used to being outspoken and expressive, but the Temple relies on an element of restraint. Discretion, if you will.”
She nodded, remembering how Idise had called herself discreet earlier. Fear, disgust, and anger ran apace with one another through the atria of her heart, and Osha tried to subtly get her pulse back under control.
“I’d say it’s probably a result of your parenting, but Sol also raised your sister, and she seems capable of meeting those simple standards. I’m sure she’s told you about her recent promotions in the last year.”
Her bribes, more like.
But Osha couldn’t argue that side of things. Vernestra was looking for a reaction, a blow to her composure. A result of your parenting, really? “Sol?” Osha asked, mock-confused.
Vernestra sat back in her chair, fingers laced in her lap. “He told me a long time ago that he may not have been ready to adopt you and your sister when he did.”
Osha’s mind was going a hundred miles an hour. What could she possibly gain by saying this? She couldn’t posit the answer.
“I’ve heard most parents aren’t.”
She had mixed feelings about defending Sol, but after seventeen years, it felt like reflex. Sol had told the two of them a thousand times over the years that he always wanted to be a father, and despite every parenting blunder he made, he always tried his best when they needed him.
Unlike some foster parents.
“Yes, well. Real parents at least have time in advance to prepare. But some adults just don’t have the best parental instincts.”
Osha had to bite her tongue to keep from blurting out something rude and nasty and correct. Blood bloomed across her tastebuds, and she forced herself to shrug, though it was difficult to play at casual right now. Hopefully, she would believe her anger was toward the dig at Sol and not at the despicable knowledge that she only fostered a child just to use him for accolades.
“I think I was raised just fine. I think Mae feels similarly. I was cared for and provided for, and that’s all a child—an orphan, sorry—ever wants from a guardian, right?”
Holy shit, Osha. Keep the cat in the bag. Staple the bag shut, you fucking idiot.
Vernestra’s eyes narrowed, but she kept her cards close from then on.
“I have wanted to speak with you about creating a manual for the machine you mentioned earlier…”
For the next half hour, Osha stayed in the hot seat, acting as if she hadn’t completely changed in the last few months. It was unnerving. Vernestra expertly swerved away from any topic that could have led to her speaking about Qimir—including the accusation from the beginning of all this mess.
This wasn’t what she expected from the meeting. She hadn’t been fired, further reprimanded, or even questioned. Qimir had shown up at the cafe despite his admitted lifetime ban. He’d shown up three times. One of Mae’s first questions had been did the cameras catch him coming in?
But she never brought him up. She didn’t ask what Osha was doing in the time she wasn’t taking classes or going to work. In fact, the most Vernestra did was goad about the hours cuts, but Osha just took a shaky breath and said, I’ll make it to spring on savings.
Vernestra had grown visibly excited at the prospect of Osha struggling, but her clunky mock-sympathy did its worst to cover it up.
“…well, I’m very proud of your work in the cafe. Maybe soon, if I see improvement in your work and attitude, we can talk about other career opportunities for you in the Temple.”
Finally. Some information she could use. “Like competing?” Osha said, goading her right back.
Predictably, Vernestra’s face soured. “Perhaps that.”
Barista. Trainer. Fighter. Spy. Those were the four employment options at the Temple. If fighter was eliminated, then trainer definitely was. Osha was already barista. That left—
“That would be amazing,” Osha gushed, pushing the let-me-back-in narrative some more. “My main priority is to get back into classes again, really. Restart, you know?”
“We’ll have to see about that. So here’s your evaluation; just go ahead and sign at the bottom, and we can be finished.”
Don’t sign anything.
Osha took the paper but not a pen, fixing Vernestra with a big, open facial expression. “I’m so grateful for this, ma’am.” She turned on the waterworks full blast, blubbering through her next words. “This place is j-just. It’s like home to me. I always feel like everyone here is family, like everyone here adopted me and Mae. Not just Sol.” She took a deep, hiccuping breath and checked her progress.
Vernestra looked ill.
She dug deeper. “And I’ve been so w-worried about the last few weeks. I thought I was g—” Sniffle, gasp. “I thought I was gonna lose it all.”
“That’s…” Vernestra couldn’t hold back her sneer. “Understandable.”
Osha went on until Vernestra stood from the desk, her movements jerky and almost pained. She swept around the desk to come ‘comfort’ her with an awkward pat on her shoulder. It almost made Osha break character and laugh. But she had one more trick up her sleeve.
She surged forward and hugged Vernestra, taking that shoulder pat as permission to touch. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she sobbed.
The hand on her shoulder gingerly pushed her away. Vernestra wasn’t looking anywhere near her. In a slightly too loud voice, she said, “Well, I hope you drive home safely. Weather is. Well. The weather is bad, I guess.”
“You’re right. Ugh, I’m such a mess, and I’m so sorry. I probably wasted so much time just blubbering,” Osha said, holding the evaluation behind her back and gesturing with her free hand. She backed out of the office when Vernestra started herding her in that direction.
“Yes. Well. No. I mean. Goodbye.”
The door shut in Osha’s face, and she refocused. The scent of sandalwood returned, reminding her of her priorities.
She had to tell Qimir what she found out—more importantly, who she saw.
CHAPTER 17
#unhingery#common grounds#osha x qimir#oshamir#oshamir fanfiction#star wars fanfiction#the acolyte#the acolyte fanfiction
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