#early shield days

[quietlyimplode]

ignite your bones

After the fall of General Dreykov, and the remnants of the Red Room still at large, Natasha first year at SHIELD is anything but healing. Labeled a traitor and a turncoat, Natasha tries to find her footing in a strange new world.

Whumptober 2024: Day 1 - Panic Attack

Warnings: panic attack, red room badness (punishments)

Word Count: 2k (gif not mine)

Summary: mandated therapy is never fun for anyone.

A/N: it feels like I’ve blinked and it’s October. This is the fourth year of participating in whumptober, and it always seems like such a mess until it’s done. To everyone who encourages, likes and reblogs, from the bottom of my heart, thank you, your words inspire these words and help to bring fic to life. @broken--bow I know we talk about it but thanks for the screaming void, and the cat pictures and everything really, and for making sure there’s no ridiculous errors. <3<3<3

Masterlist

Whumptober Masterlist

.

The Shield psychiatrist offices are nondescript.

The receptionist looks over her glasses to Natasha, then across to Clint and Maria, and hands her a form on a clipboard to fill out.

Annoyed, Natasha purses her lips and holds up handcuffed hands and feels the satisfaction of the shocked look on her face.

The woman passes it to Clint’s open hands and points to the row of chairs.

Maria sits first, Natasha grudgingly sitting next to her and Clint following, staring at the form.

“Tough questions,” he jokes.

“Name? Natasha.”

“Date of birth?”

He peers over the form to Natasha who looks back at him.

“Unknown?”

Maria looks up.

“December 3rd,” she answers.

Natasha can’t help the sharp look to her left, shocked at the accuracy of the information that she thought no one knew.

Maria smirks.

Natasha looks down, her heart beating faster.

Clint continues obliviously.

“What problems are you currently seeking help for?”

He taps the clipboard.

“I might just leave that blank.”

He goes on.

“Treatment goals?”

“Stability?” Maria jokes.

Clint gives her a look. She looks chastised and shrugs in indifference.

Natasha lets it wash over her.

She doesn’t want to be here.

The mandated therapy was a threat, not a choice.

She doesn’t know how Maria knows her birthday, how she got that information.

There’s no one alive that should know it.

There’s a heat that crawls up her neck. The handcuffs feel too tight on her wrists.

“Hmm they have a suicide risk assessment. Maybe you can go over that with the psychiatrist.”

Clint looks over the rest of the form and hands it to Maria.

“Did you have to do this when you came here?”

Natasha stares at her feet, but the silence from Maria at Clint’s jab gives her a source of pleasure at the discomfort and the present that he’s inadvertently given.

Maria stands and gives the form to the receptionist, and Clint winks at Natasha when her back is turned. She realizes then, the comment was intentional. A dig back to the ones Maria had given.

“I’m going to see Director Thompson, are you okay here?”

Clint sits. “I’m here because I want to be,” he declares.

Maria says goodbye and leaves without looking at Natasha.

The radio next to the receptionist hums quietly but feels like static to Natasha.

How does she know?

What else do they know?

It shouldn’t take something so inconsequential to unhinge her, but it has.

“She’s not usually that mean,” Clint tells her.

“She just doesn’t quite trust you yet.”

Natasha knows that, but she’s also unsure if she wants Maria’s trust.

She doesn’t trust her either. Her position is too vulnerable to have enemies and it’s clear she has many.

Locked in a box, only let out for debrief and now apparently psychiatry sessions, she doesn’t like this brand of freedom that Shield has offered.

Clint says it’s just the beginning.

In his ramblings, he says a lot without saying anything.

The door opens.

Her name is called.

Natasha stands diligently, alongside Clint, and hates herself at the fear and apprehension that pools in her gut.

What does the woman know, if Maria knows her birthday?

Do they know about Vladivostok? Her fear of medical?

Do they know about Antonia? Dreykov?

And then a more unsettling thought.

Do they know about Ohio and Yelena?

Clint nudges her forward.

“I’ll be here when you come out,” he promises.

“No debrief today, just this.”

It’s a kindness.

One she likely doesn't deserve.

She looks to the woman standing in the door.

“Hello,” she greets, “I’m Olivia.”

The woman steps to the side and allows Natasha entry.

She takes one last look at Clint, and steps through the door.

.

Olivia sits at a large green two seater couch, and gestures to the one across from her.

A matching set. Natasha is sure that they were picked deliberately for the colour and the spaces it provided.

Whilst they have space for others to sit, it’s clear that they’re meant for only one person.

Natasha imagines, if she was anyone else, that she could take her shoes off and curl her feet underneath her, tucking her body up and feeling safe in position.

Instead, she sits facing the woman, on the edge of the sofa, her cuffed hands neutral on her lap.

“Do you mind if we take them off?” Olivia asks, gesturing.

Natasha doesn’t answer.

The silence isn’t personal, she just doesn’t have words to talk.

Olivia approaches slowly.

“If you want to kill me, I’m sure these won’t stop you. But in case the thought does cross your mind, I’ve not always been a psychiatrist.”

Natasha looks at the woman; really looks at her.

She seems to be about in her 40s, hair pulled back, not unkind, but knowing eyes that bore into Natasha’s when she looks up.

She doesn’t like it.

Doesn’t like how the woman reminds her of the Red Room instructors, the older women who had gone through the program at least twice and ruled the younger girls with manipulation over fear.

Natasha blinks.

She’s not there and this is not the same, she tells herself.

“My name is Olivia,” the woman starts, and then, almost in a way that feels unnerving, she switches to Russian.

“I can speak in either language, depending on what you prefer.”

It’s a question that Natasha prefers not to answer.

She speaks many languages; she’s not adverse to English, but since she’s been here, she feels adverse to words.

A moment passes.

When it’s clear Natasha isn’t going to answer, Olivia continues on.

“We have mandated sessions. They’re ongoing so I feel we are going to see a lot of each other.”

She glances at the form that Clint had started, and failed to finish.

“You prefer Natasha?”

It should be an easy, uncomplicated question.

“If you prefer another name, you can let reception know, but perhaps until you indicate otherwise I’ll continue to call you by the name you request, okay?”

Again the question goes unanswered; and again, the woman continues on.

“You’re here because you agreed to be, defected from the country of your birth, and whilst double agent was offered to you, you decided against it, I think we’d like to know why.”

The statement raises Natasha’s heart rate.

A vision of a widow left hung with the words traitor on her chest hits hard in her memory.

It’s not worth it, she wants to say.

All in or all out, there is no in between when it comes to Russia.

There’s no telling what they would do if they found defectors amongst them.

She feels the electricity of a Red Room debrief on her skin.

Words and secrets wrenched from her lips.

She wants to give a witty comeback; instead, the words get lost in her throat, so unsettled by the last half an hour.

How did Maria know her birthday?

Such a simple thing should not unravel her.

But it does.

The one advantage she had was that she was an enigma. That they didn't know anything about her, except what she had told Clint.

What if that was wrong?

The woman says something.

It doesn’t even register beyond words being spoken.

But it must be important.

The words feel heavy, and the woman repeats them.

“What is it you want, Natasha?”

Want?

‘What is it you want?’

The words play in repeat in her head.

When has she ever wanted anything?

What is it she wants?

That what she wants is something that she’d never get.

Natasha feels her heart rate quicken.

Want?

Her body hot.

How do they know?

Her heart. There’s something wrong with her heart.

Hands clench and she struggles for breath.

This isn’t supposed to happen to her.

Had they drugged her?

The food? Maybe the water.

Would Clint?

Maria.

She would.

She tries to breathe.

The woman.

The woman moves toward her and Natasha looks into her eyes.

They’re kinder.

Her vision blurs. The tidal wave of panic overcomes her.

What if?

What if she’s dying?

Not here.

Let her die alone.

There’s a hand in hers, fleeting.

It’s cold.

It gives Natasha something to focus on.

It’s so cold. Both hands now.

If she could focus, she could eliminate the threat. The woman?

She blinks to clear her vision, shaking her head as her heart rabbits in her chest.

She’s dying.

She forces breath into her lungs, focusing on the coldness in her hands.

It feels like a lifeline.

Time loses meaning, and Natasha doesn’t know how long it takes her to get herself under control again.

Embarrassment burns on her cheeks as the world rights itself.

Terror from the moments before flood adrenaline into her body.

The woman is still in her chair, looking down at her notebook. She looks up and meets Natasha’s eyes.

There’s an ice pack in Natasha’s clenched fists, still doing its job in providing calm and grounding.

Natasha is not stupid.

In the moment she thought she was dying.

Now, she knows it was a panic attack.

She doesn’t think she’s had one since she was eight.

“You’re safe,” the woman tells her.

It’s the first words that register, and whilst she doesn’t believe it, it’s a nice sentiment.

Nothing has happened yet but it doesn’t mean that it won’t.

She can’t imagine what’s going to happen next.

In the Red Room, she was whipped. Madam’s switch across her back twenty times, as she was made to count them.

Here? She doesn’t think it would be the same, but to lose it in public?

In front of the psychiatrist, no less.

She feels like she needs to do damage control.

Lessen the punishment.

She feels like she’s losing it, she gets told her birth day and the woman asks her what she wants and she falls apart.

Taking another breath and handing the ice pack back to the woman, she looks around her and forces herself to calm down.

“Thank you,” she says, her voice soft and croaky, the only words that she’s spoken to another outside of debrief.

The psychiatrist nods.

Natasha bites her lip.

The woman doesn’t ask any questions. She motions to the water and the glass on the table, pours one for herself and then offers another to Natasha.

She sips it, and Natasha nods, thankful.

Her mouth is dry and she can’t remember when she drank something last.

Putting down the glass, Natasha wonders what’s going to happen next.

It takes a moment before the next question comes, but it’s not the words she thinks.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

The offer is kind.

She feels suspicious and angry and embarrassed and looks to the door to leave.

The glass prison she lives in is not safe by any means, but it’s familiar and not this place of questions and interrogation.

Her defenses are low; the lack of sleep and food are taking their toll. It’s clear now, that to be better, she needs to take more care.

She’s smart enough to know better.

She’s better than this.

She was trained better than this.

The anger builds again at the display of weakness and Natasha swallows hard.

“We still have ten minutes. I’m going to tell you a few things, but the rest of the time, we can just sit here. You don’t need to say anything unless you want to.”

The words start slowly.

It’s a plan.

A lifeline.

And Natasha breathes again.

.

<3

[jeanbarton]

Am I the only one who sees a young Clint here? 🤣

[celestisappho]

this. this is so maria and natasha.

no im not saying which is which.

[scavengerssuccotash]

What are some of your early SHIELD days headcanons?

Ohhhh! I looooove early SHIELD days headcanons, so thank you for asking!!

Natasha’s defection was definitely the talk of the town! She caused a huge ruckus when she did, from whispered chatter around the water coolers to speculations on the training field her name was inside everyone’s mouth. She reveled in it though. One doesn’t carry the moniker of Black Widow (a whispered legend in its own right in the intelligence field) without a bit of pride. Natasha was smart too, she used the reputation that came from Black Widow to keep most everyone at bay and at a distance. Once she was cleared of the possibility of being a dangle and allowed to roam relatively free she stalked the corridors of SHIELD with an air of awe, shock and fear. Some Agents avoided her completely, the smart ones coward but the dumb ones…the really dumb ones jeered.

That’s when Clint stepped in. His name was also inside everyone’s mouth, alongside Natasha’s on the account of the whole bringing her in thing. For a good four months everyone really thought he was dead because he wasn’t on base and no one knew where he was. So when he landed himself in medical after a fistfight with a fellow agent his first day back it really shocked everyone. Needless to say the speculation of just how Clint got Nat to defect has been a long standing guessing game. Sometimes even Clint and Nat join in, feeding the erroneous rumors by letting something “slip” about that day because they think it’s funny. Only Nat, Clint and Phil know the truth. Fury knows the basics but that is it.

SHIELDs cafeteria is a fucking shit show, some days the food tastes like an outhouse shitter and other days it’s a five star meal. No one really gets why. So, most just avoid it. There’s a running email exchange between Phil, Clint, Nat and the head of nutrition stretching back years. (Seriously, google the CIA and their Cafeteria food, some very hilarious email exchanges got released a while back!)

A fandom favorite of course is that everyone at SHIElD definitely thinks they are fucking, have fucked or that it’s just a matter of time before they do. And I do think that was the case, but after Phil chewed out an Agent in the middle of a crowded lunch room (Italian was catered) no one has been dumb enough to get caught saying it. If it’s out fear of Phil or Nat or a very elaborate blackmail ring run by Clint no one knows and they sure as hell aren’t gonna speculate while on campus.

(There is a bar in the middle of queens though where a janitor will tell you about the time he walked in on Clint and Nat having a quickie in Fury’s office. For a price of course!)

Just some thoughts I have PLENTY more but figured this was getting a bit long 😅

[sidewalk-scrawls]

On another note, I've been sick all week, and I can feel an ear infection coming on, and I really need it to not!

[sillyfairygarden]

spent all say rereading old overwatch fanfic from when i was involved in that. ouuurrghhh d.va hana song i will commit crimes against the state for you

[hollow-jack]

finally my sweet daughter jason derulo is here

[dilfkuza]

watching Nishitani's death scene always leaves me devastated. like noooo king you can't die you haven't gotten your rocks off in a decent fight yet

[retiredcultistredux]

"That's it. He's not listening. I'm going to have to do something drastic." I hit kirby over the head with my shield. "I hope this will knock some sense into you buddy."- 🛡 anon.

Upon being hit in the head, Kirby lost the Poison ability and stumbled forward a bit, stunned and dizzy. Meanwhile, the shadow behind him...

...Yeah, it was Ester. He seemed to be able to control Kirby physically to an extent, yet his hold over the puffball was easily broken with enough force, making him lose his concentration, and therefore his control as well. This caused him to pop up from the shadows, experiencing the same pain as Kirby.

[...Well, you've managed to momentarily stun both Ester and Kirby.]

[lith-myathar]

I genuinely grew up believing that society was going to collapse and that we would all be living in mad max wasteland future by now and like. Yes all of us grew up feeling like we didn't have a future but my upbringing actively told me over and over that The End was coming soon. It's literally doomsday cult shit, but instead of revelations I got peak oil and climate change. And like at the very least those things are real, but the world has not ended, society has not collapsed, and that narrative running through my entire childhood fucked me up bad and left me completely unprepared to function. Like why make any plans? Why have dreams? Why strive for anything in the society we have now when we knew this was coming? But at the same time my parents weren't DOING anything about it. We weren't preppers, we weren't moving to another country, we were just staying put and waiting and worrying, there was always an immediate reason we couldn't act but a long term view of the world that said disaster was coming soon. And at the same time extreme pressure to achieve, because there was this sense that time was running out, money was running out, that I would only ever be safe if I was able to get good grades and degrees and a career that paid well.

I have no point to this post exactly except that I'm still just sort of astounded that that's how I grew up

[quietlyimplode]

ignite your bones

After the fall of General Dreykov, and the remnants of the Red Room still at large, Natasha first year at SHIELD is anything but healing. Labeled a traitor and a turncoat, Natasha tries to find her footing in a strange new world.

Whumptober 2024: Day 2 - Trust Issues

Warnings: food hoarding

Word Count: 1.5k (gif not mine)

Summary: Maria and Clint talk about Natasha. Clint realizes that bringing in a black widow may not be as easy as he thinks.

Masterlist

Whumptober Masterlist

.

Clint yawns.

Maria throws a book at him and groans.

“I’m so bored,” he complains. “How do you do this?”

“That’s what you get, for bringing a stray home,” she rolls her eyes and throws her pen at him.

“They can’t keep me grounded forever right?”

Maria shrugs, “Ask Coulson.”

Clint throws them back at her and glances at the clock.

“I should probably go,” he sighs.

“Pick up time?”

He bows, “I am the chauffeur, am I not?”

“She’s not eating,” Maria tells him as Clint starts to walk away.

“What?”

He turns and eyes her closely.

“She doesn’t eat the food, haven’t you noticed? Not unless it’s packaged or clear liquid.”

She pauses.

“I don’t know what she does eat, have you been giving her food?”

Clint shakes his head.

“Only the occasional granola bar when I’ve eaten one?”

He pauses. “How do you know?”

Maria pauses.

“She’s been here two weeks, what has she been eating?”

“How do you know?”

Looking around, Maria opens the surveillance program on her computer, and rewinds to breakfast.

“Don’t tell Coulson I’m showing you this,” she growls.

Clint looks forward with interest, feeling voyeuristic at watching her.

He knew they’d be surveilling her, but had underestimated just how closely.

It seems stupid in hindsight.

The breakfast is delivered.

The blue tray pushed through a small opening on the floor, and Clint feels angry at how just like prison this must feel for her.

Natasha approaches it, and squats to look at the food.

She inspects the apple, and places it on the bed away from the other food. The scrambled eggs, she touches as though she’s looking for something; pressing them down; then looks at the juice box and places it next to the apple.

The tray gets pushed back, the rest of the cooked food untouched, and, after a moment, taken away.

“Breakfast she eats the most, or takes the most from, I guess.”

Clint keeps watching, but she doesn’t eat. The juice box gets drunk slowly, but the apple is placed inside the small side table drawer.

He glimpses one of the granola bars he’d given her, and he feels like an idiot for not noticing.

“Talk to her about it?”

He nods.

“Why’d you tell me? You don’t even like her?”

Maria looks at him, annoyed at the look.

“Just because I like her, doesn’t mean I want her dead.”

He looks away from the computer, Maria turning the program off.

“Clint, she’s not okay, traumatized black widows; don’t you think you’re out of your depth?”

He takes the criticism and thinks about Natasha’s face as he’d offered her a lifeline. The way she looked so sad and resigned to her fate, and the run and hide through Berlin.

“I’m all she’s got,” he shrugs.

Maria shakes her head, but says nothing.

“I’ve gotta go. I’ll chat to you later?”

He leaves without the response, mulling on her words, wondering just how hard this was going to be.

.

Clint waits, just as he promised as the door opens as Natasha steps out.

“I’ll see you in two days,” Olivia tells both the receptionist and Natasha at the door.

The receptionist nods, and gives Clint a smile, ignoring Natasha as she steps out and forward.

“Sorry,” Clint says ruefully, taking the handcuffs from Olivia.

Natasha holds her hands up, face blank, eyes glazed.

They step in line with each other, the walk back to the glass prison punctuated with Clint’s quiet words.

“I feel like you look when I walk out of therapy. Did it go okay?”

He pauses, “you don’t have to answer that.”

When there’s no words, he decides to continue talking.

He knows she doesn’t trust them; any of them. He really wants to know what she talks about in therapy. If she says anything at all or if Olivia just talks to her.

He wonders idly if he needs to talk to someone too.

Probably.

The last couple of months have been… intense, for lack of a better word and he wonders if, like Maria had said, he was out of his depth.

It was not the first time he thought it.

Natasha’s despondency was affecting him.

What did he know about defectors and a traumatised super spy?

He just didn’t want her to die.

Not by his hand, or her own.

“I like her though,” he continues.

“Give her a chance, if you can. She’s… not unlike you, in her background and maybe can help? She’s there to help.”

He mulls on his own words as he leads her a different way back. He’s right.

If anyone can help her; Olivia can.

Determined to show her a different part of the complex, they go through the kitchens, and Clint picks up two apples, throwing her one and then crunching onto the other.

It gives him time to think.

He’s going to need to touch base with Olivia, make sure that she is interacting, doing what was promised.

He could ask her what he should be doing too; for her, for himself.

Clint leads the way back with practiced ease, the silence allowing him to think.

As they enter the first round of checks, he smiles easily to the straight faced guards; then as they get deeper to the third and forth stations, it’s just Clint’s badge letting them in.

It seems to bolster Natasha, the less people around, she matches his steps and bites the apple. At the noise, Clint turns and smiles.

“You don’t eat much,” he observes.

Natasha shrugs and takes another bite.

He laughs at her sass.

“Do you not like the food?”

Natasha looks down.

He feels a little mean, talking about this after she’s just had 90 minutes of therapy.

He’s sure the sessions are not the easiest, and he can see the slight tremor in her hands, despite her trying to mask it by holding onto the apple.

They reach her cell and she steps inside the glass, holding her wrists out for him to release them.

He does.

Taking the cuffs away and pushing them into his pocket.

“Just think about it, okay? If there’s food you want or prefer, just tell me? I can help.”

Natasha looks at her feet and takes two steps back, the door closing and the glass sealing shut.

.

Despite her better judgement, Natasha continues to eat the apple. The constant hunger makes her feel on edge sometimes.

She’s so used to it, that until Clint had said something, she hadn’t given it much thought.

Sitting on the bed, legs crossed, she chews on it and thinks.

Therapy had been tough.

Though not for the first time, Olivia had called her out on things that she shouldn’t know.

Details about the Red Room that only the guards, the officers or widows knew, inner workings of the KGB and Red Room procedures like the trial of the silent knife and graduation.

And whilst Natasha hadn’t had another panic attack, it had been close.

The push to talk and baiting was tempting.

How did she know?

She knew she’d eventually have to talk, but for now, whilst she could hold onto her silence, she wanted to keep it.

It was the only control she had.

Her mind feels like a minefield.

Sometimes, she feels like once she starts talking, she’ll never stop; but the years of self preservation wouldn’t let her.

She sorts the known information, finishing the apple and swallowing slowly, closing her eyes on the onslaught of images and thoughts.

It takes her a moment to let the memory of the silent knife trial pass. The blood on her hands feeling so visceral and real she opens and closes her eyes just to check.

She breathes.

In.

Holds it.

And out.

It has become the easiest thing to do after therapy. To think and sort through all the things that were said, disclosed and asked of her.

After a day like today where she had had to do both debriefing and therapy, she knew that nightmares would be inevitable.

She just hoped that whoever was watching the cameras tonight was sleeping on the job.

Natasha breathes slowly again.

Starting with the image that comes first, she focuses as best she can on sorting real from not real. What they had said, what she had disclosed, information that still was secret and that which had become known.

They were still only on major players of the organisation; those that she knew had ties into the western world. People she had been sent after, political agendas. It was far easier to talk about than herself, though she had a feeling that was coming.

Her mind flashes to Dreykov and she bites the inside of her cheek, drawing blood.

Real or not real.

She tries to ground herself in this moment.

She didn’t trust them.

They knew too much.

She’d told them too much.

There was no going back now.

Natasha thinks of Maria again.

Always an ending thought.

The divulgence of knowing her birthdate.

Information known by a select few but, perhaps also could be found from intel files. It means that somewhere here there’s more intel on her; prior to her coming here.

What she wouldn’t give for that file.

Therapy conversations had given her pause.

It was difficult to think about without her mind flashing back; and she didn’t want to.

Not here.

Not now.

There’s a file on her.

And she wants it.

.

<3

[blue-eli]

Ink October day nine: Convalescent

To recover health and strength gradually after illness or injury, often by staying off your feet.

[moonlayl]

hey I'm not sure if this is unpopular to say but why did we ever really like Lance hunter? he wasn't that great and really rude to the absolute queen that is Bobbi Morse. like, did he redeem himself? he's not bad, but annoying without many great qualities. honestly it might just be the way he treats bobbi, it just rubs me wrong and gives me the ick.

Hello anon! Sorry this is about a week 4 months late. (I’m awful at this, I know)

So there are several instances in the show where Hunter pisses me off (when he talks about Bobbi behind her back, when he “advises” Fitz not to save Will (which is really inexcusable) when he refuses to say “don’t die out there” to Bobbi because he’s angry she wants to handle ward—the guy who hurt HER—herself, etc…)

But I disagree about him not having good/redeeming qualities. One of his main qualities is his loyalty to the people he cares about. He tells may “shield’s all about the mission, not the person next to you”

And even though I’m the kind of person who thinks that sometimes (not always though) a mission could actually be that important, I have to admire the way Hunter is dedicated to helping out his teammates. He drops everything to rush and help Fitz in s5. Even at the possible expense of his life, or Bobbi, he doesn’t betray the other members in “parting shot”. During a time when he hardly knew Daisy, he still tries to offer her the kind of advice he thought would be helpful, so she wouldn’t get too attached and hurt.

Hunter is also unique in the sense that he actually criticizes shield, and never stops doing so. It is such a relief to have a character in those two seasons so unafraid of calling literally anyone out. When Mack is reasonably angry that Trip died over a mission Coulson refused to share details about, and May tells him to remember his “rank”, Hunter immediately says “really? Rank at a time like this?”

And, for May, especially at that time in the show, going back to the rules and protocols made sense for her. It offered her a certain amount of comfort and familiarity and if she distances herself from emotion and focuses on work, it helps her. I get that.

But what Hunter said is true. One of their members was dead, and while WE, the audience, understand what was going on and why Coulson did what he did, the other members of the team didn’t, and they all had to grieve for Trip without even knowing much of what was going on (Also, Mack literally got possessed by some mist). So he’s right. It really wasn’t the time for pulling the rank card.

This isn’t the first time he’s distrustful of shield (and reasonably so! I wished more characters would call out shield and the director, even if it was Coulson!) and that to me is part of the reason I like him.

Also during s2, when the “real shield” is revealed, despite Bobbi and Mack—the two people Hunter arguably knows best—being a part of it, Hunter still stops at nothing to inform Coulson, because while he may not completely agree with shield, he learned to trust Coulson and he’s LOYAL. He helps Fitz out, legitimately seems determined to locate Daisy after she disappears, and in the third season, he’s very clearly completely overjoyed that simmons is alive. Literally claps and yells “oh fitz, you absolute beauty!” When he hears fitz managed to help rescue simmons.

Those are all the actions and words of a man who CARES.

He also, arguably, is the funniest character on the show. By season 2 and season 3, that humour and wit was quite welcome. I legitimately found myself laughing out loud many times during his scenes. That’s another reason I like him.

As for how he treated Bobbi, I guess the reason it doesn’t bother me the way fitzsimmons bothers me (in terms of how Fitz treats Simmons) is because Bobbi is equally as flawed when it comes to their relationship and scenes as Hunter is. She doesn’t always treat him the best, and he isn’t always treating her the best, yet the both love and care for each other in their own way, so it’s very equal. I don’t think anyone uses them as an example of a perfect and healthy relationship, lol. She was a huge reason their relationship never worked out. I love Bobbi with all my heart and she’s one of my favourite aos characters, but she is a liar and she’s also very manipulative when she wants to be (which is not me hating her, I mean those aren’t good traits but they’re realistic and I WANT female characters to be flawed). We only really see them and their relationship after their divorce and after being informed that she lied to him all throughout their relationship and marriage (which makes sense, she wasn’t going to tell him about shield, but obviously keeping a big secret like that from your partner isn’t a good thing) We also than find out she was lying to him all throughout season 2, when they got back together. 

Hunter has quite a few moments where he’s a complete prick, but given the way he and Bobbi’s relationship was like and how dishonest she usually was with him (and all throughout s2 when they were supposedly trying to rebuild their relationship) him being annoyed at her and making a few comments doesn’t really bother me. 

I mean there’s no actual excuse for misogyny in general and all the aos male characters have certain questionable lines or scenes (due to the writing) so I’m not trying to say his worser moments are okay, I just don’t think he treated Bobbi very badly considering who she is, and what their relationship has always been. Especially when we get scenes like:

Bobbi *while lying to him for so long*: will you never trust me?

Hunter: but I'll never stop wanting to

Like this dude loves her and is protective of her, and overall actually takes her lying to him well (aside from a few comments and jokes). They’re both messed up people who clearly don’t really know how to properly hold on to a marriage and that’s why it kind of works? That’s why it doesn’t bother me as much because it’s like, okay, you both can be so goddamn horrible to each other, but you both care for each other so much. You both bring out the worst and the best in each other depending on the day and situation. 

It’s like Mack said: “Man, you two deserve each other”

This isn’t a Lance Hunter defense post necessarily,  I just want to point out the redeeming qualities I personally see in this character, and why they make me like this character, but I totally understand your opinion op and respect it!

[kittlyns]

One day I am gonna start journaling again and then I won't post all this sad shit on here but until then! *posts another sad post*

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

Ahahahah

I feel like shit

And im 99% sure its because I'm stressed

I always feel sick when im stressed

But the stress always gets worse now when that happens cuz of covid. Which makes me feel more sick.

Awesome 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

[reasonsforhope]

Article | Paywall Free

"The Food and Drug Administration approved new mRNA coronavirus vaccines Thursday [August 22, 2024], clearing the way for shots manufactured by Pfizer-BioNTech and Moderna to start hitting pharmacy shelves and doctor’s offices within a week.

Health officials encourage annual vaccination against the coronavirus, similar to yearly flu shots. Everyone 6 months and older should receive a new vaccine, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends.

The FDA has yet to approve an updated vaccine from Novavax, which uses a more conventional vaccine development method but has faced financial challenges.

Our scientific understanding of coronavirus vaccines has evolved since they debuted in late 2020. Here’s what to know about the new vaccines.

Why are there new vaccines?

The coronavirus keeps evolving to overcome our immune defenses, and the shield offered by vaccines weakens over time. That’s why federal health officials want people to get an annual updated coronavirus vaccine designed to target the latest variants. They approve them for release in late summer or early fall to coincide with flu shots that Americans are already used to getting.

The underlying vaccine technology and manufacturing process are the same, but components change to account for how the virus morphs. The new vaccines target the KP.2 variant because most recent covid cases are caused by that strain or closely related ones...

Do the vaccines prevent infection?

You probably know by now that vaccinated people can still get covid. But the shots do offer some protection against infection, just not the kind of protection you get from highly effective vaccines for other diseases such as measles.

The 2023-2024 vaccine provided 54 percent increased protection against symptomatic covid infections, according to a CDC study of people who tested for the coronavirus at pharmacies during the first four months after that year’s shot was released...

A nasal vaccine could be better at stopping infections outright by increasing immunity where they take hold, and one is being studied in a trial sponsored by the National Institutes of Health.

If you really want to dodge covid, don’t rely on the vaccine alone and take other precautions such as masking or avoiding crowds...

Do the vaccines help prevent transmission?

You may remember from early coverage of coronavirus vaccines that it was unclear whether shots would reduce transmission. Now, scientists say the answer is yes �� even if you’re actively shedding virus.

That’s because the vaccine creates antibodies that reduce the amount of virus entering your cells, limiting how much the virus can replicate and make you even sicker. When vaccination prevents symptoms such as coughing and sneezing, people expel fewer respiratory droplets carrying the virus. When it reduces the viral load in an infected person, people become less contagious.

That’s why Peter Hotez, a physician and co-director of the Texas Children’s Hospital Center for Vaccine Development, said he feels more comfortable in a crowded medical conference, where attendees are probably up to date on their vaccines, than in a crowded airport.

“By having so many vaccinated people, it’s decreasing the number of days you are shedding virus if you get a breakthrough infection, and it decreases the amount of virus you are shedding,” Hotez said.

Do vaccines prevent long covid?

While the threat of acute serious respiratory covid disease has faded, developing the lingering symptoms of “long covid” remains a concern for people who have had even mild cases. The CDC says vaccination is the “best available tool” to reduce the risk of long covid in children and adults. The exact mechanism is unclear, but experts theorize that vaccines help by reducing the severity of illness, which is a major risk factor for long covid.

When is the best time to get a new coronavirus vaccine?

It depends on your circumstances, including risk factors for severe disease, when you were last infected or vaccinated, and plans for the months ahead. It’s best to talk these issues through with a doctor.

If you are at high risk and have not recently been vaccinated or infected, you may want to get a shot as soon as possible while cases remain high. The summer wave has shown signs of peaking, but cases can still be elevated and take weeks to return to low levels. It’s hard to predict when a winter wave will begin....

Where do I find vaccines?

CVS said its expects to start administering them within days, and Walgreens said that it would start scheduling appointments to receive shots after Sept. 6 and that customers can walk in before then.

Availability at doctor’s offices might take longer. Finding shots for infants and toddlers could be more difficult because many pharmacies do not administer them and not every pediatrician’s office will stock them given low demand and limited storage space.

This year’s updated coronavirus vaccines are supposed to have a longer shelf life, which eases the financial pressures of stocking them.

The CDC plans to relaunch its vaccine locator when the new vaccines are widely available, and similar services are offered by Moderna and Pfizer."

-via The Washington Post, August 22, 2024