#early kacy

[uselesstimetraveler]

ncis hawaii -> s01e01 "pilot" -> the gang

[phoenixkaptain]

I feel it’s a disservice to the character to make Dick out to be younger than he actually is.

Dick Grayson is a power fantasy, same as Bruce Wayne is, but he’s a very different type of power fantasy. This is mainly because he isn’t for the same type of audience. He isn’t for adults to relate to, he’s for teens to relate to.

What do I mean? Well, I don’t think we actually get many confirmations on Dick’s age. When he joins Bruce, there are a few clues to his age, but nothing really substantive. He’s old enough to know that his parents are dead; he has an understanding of what death is. He’s young enough that while adults seem to like him, they don’t take him very seriously. He isn’t particularly tall, but when he’s shown around actual children, he is quite a bit taller than them, I’d say at least a foot, and he is portrayed as a bit taller than most of his peers (peers that aren’t superheroes! Dick is always very nearly the shortest member of Teen Titans, but that’s not fair to judge him on because superheroes are huge) He’s young enough to attend a private boy’s school for undercover, and he’s young enough that younger children seem to trust him enough to do what he tells them to.

If I had to make a guess as to how old I thought Dick Grayson was, I would say 13-15, but leaning heavily on the 15 end. His personality is pretty set for most comics you read him in (barring extremities) which implies he’s developed a good portion of it already. And, to be honest, even if Bruce and Dick first met when Dick was 13, he didn’t become Robin until he was 14. He’s portrayed as either being taken in but trained for several months (I’d give him a low estimate of six months. He needs to learn science. He may be physically fit, but that doesn’t mean that he’s mentally ready) or taking a period of time in an orphanage, being taken in, then spending several months training. Dick becoming Robin wasn’t instant. I always assume he’s 15 when I read early comics because Dick’s brand of petulance - being annoyed at something Bruce said and snapping back with verbal quips, taking Bruce’s instructions and patiently listening to them for all of, at most, an hour before running off to do the opposite, judging Bruce for going out without him - feels like a mid-teen.

So, why is Dick a power fantasy? Well, he’s the embodiment of teenage desire:

Adults listen to him.

The main one is Bruce. Bruce Wayne, who is rich and notoriously a loner and who is considered a detective on the level of Sherlock Holmes, listens to Dick and never doubts him. He takes what Dick says at face value, he talks to Dick to spitball ideas at him, he answers any question Dick asks him and he never seems particularly impatient in doing so. He tells Dick that they’re partners and equals, and he treats him as a partner and an equal.

And there are other adults. Robin is famous in early canon. Everyone knows who he is. Adults in other towns don’t listen to their own children, but they listen to Robin because they kind of have to. I assume people who bully Robin are sent Batman’s patented, ‘live bat in a box mailed to the door.’ (I assume this because it’s funny, mostly.) But no matter why they listen to Dick - they do actually actively listen to him and try to improve in the ways he suggests.

This is what every teenager dreams of. Dick Grayson, a mere teenager who probably can’t legally drive a car yet, has the respect of adults around the globe.

Robin almost always has the respect of at least one adult, that being Bruce, no matter who is actually Robin at the time. I haven’t read many Jason comics, so I can’t say for sure on him, but Bruce treats Tim as an equal. He listens to him, and while he’s protective of him, he trusts that Tim can do things alone.

The only real example of Bruce treating Robin like a child comes with Damian. And even in the cass of Damian, he still makes an effort to listen to Damian and not ignore him. Which, the reason he treats Damian differently is because Damian is a child. I don’t think Damian is even 10 when we first meet him, let alone 13. I think, later on, he’s around 11-12, but Damian just doesn’t start as old as every other Robin. It’s necessary for Bruce to treat him differently.

“Well, what about comics where the adults, including Bruce, are terrible and don’t listen to Robin at all?”

I consider these an example of we in the intellectual world call: bullshit.

I’m sorry, but nine times out of ten, Bruce listens to Dick and praises Dick and believes in Dick ten thousand percent. The Bruce who doesn’t listen to Dick just isn’t Bruce. I don’t know who this poser is, but it’s literally impossible to him to be Bruce. It’s worse than bad writing, it’s blatant mischaracterization and a lazy plot device. Bruce would die for Dick without a second thought, he loves and respects Dick more than anyone. This man cannot physically or mentally resist the urge to listen to Robin and pat his back and say “we all make mistakes, chum, don’t worry about it.”

I need to emphasize here that Dick does the complete opposite of what Bruce tells him to multiple times, and end up kidnapped or in a tight spot for his efforts, and Bruce just isn’t upset. He’s worried, but he doesn’t even fucking care. He doesn’t get mad at Dick, I feel like he can’t even look at Dick without feeling a bit happy, there’s no way- are you really trying to tell me that Bruce goddamn Wayne would blame Robin for not preventing a crime that DiCK WASN’T EVEN PRESENT DURING?? He wasn’t even fucking there, he was off getting a police officer! You know, an adult! Because there was a crazy gunman shooting up a rally, what the actual fuck is Robin, a mortal child, supposed to do against an adult gunman twice his fucking height??? What did you want him to do, Bruce, get fucking shot? Because that’s what would have fucking happened, you absolute lunatic piece of shit, you want him to goddamn die to save one fucking person-

Ahem.

For the majority of comics, Dick represents teenagers. He fulfills that desire that teenagers have, the desire to be listened to and trusted. Dick is the first person in comics to ever know that Bruce Wayne is Batman. And while timelines shift and change, Bruce and Dick’s mutual respect for each other doesn’t. They get mad at each other later on down the line, but for a good 40 years, Bruce talked to Dick more than his own fiancée.

Dick isn’t a child. He and Bruce never met when he was a child. Dick also isn’t an adult. He still has a few years that he needs to spend growing into an adult. He’s that middle ground we all faced. That awkward period where adults expect you to act like an adult but don’t treat you like one. The power fantasy inherent in the character of Robin is that adults treat him like an adult while allowing him to make mistakes and act like a child.

[echoes-of-realities]

Title: and when i’m back in chicago i feel it (another version of me)

Fandom: NCIS: Hawai'i

Relationship: Lucy Tara/Kate Whistler

Rating: General

Chapter Word Count: 8,941

Chapter: 4/5

[read from the beginning]

Chapter Summary: “Lucy,” Dan says in surprise, “What are you doing in here?”

Lucy lifts a hand in a slightly awkward wave. “Just, uh, looking for Kate.”

“You just missed her,” Paula says with a small smile before turning back to the sink. “She was heading out to look for you.”

Lucy jerks her thumb over her shoulder and starts retreating. “Okay, thanks. I’ll just—”

“Stay, stay,” Dan says warmly, “We’d love to get to know you more. You are dating our daughter, after all, and I feel like we don’t know a thing about you.”

Lucy freezes, before slowly walking forward to lean against the island. She’s never felt more uncomfortable in her life—not only does she not know Kate’s parents very well, she also kind of resents them for how they’ve treated Kate since Noah’s death.

Silence settles over the kitchen, awkward and stilted. Nobody meets anybody’s eyes and the silence drags on until it passes unbearable into straight up torture.

“So, uh, what do you want to know?” Lucy finally asks.

Dan and Paula look at each other, visibly sagging in relief. Lucy would probably be more insulted if she didn’t feel the exact same way.

[piratekane]

(post-3x05 kacy scene)

Warm fingertips press down against the thin skin on the inside of her wrist, a melody she knows that she knows but can’t quite place in the early grey of the morning, the sun rising, muted, through the low clouds outside the window. She was asleep a minute ago and there’s a dream quickly fading away as her eyes open slowly and the room shifts into focus.

“Morning,” Kate whispers, still sunken in her pillow.

“G’morning.” Lucy pulls the words from the back of her throat like she’s pulling cotton from a cattail. “Time s’it?”

Kate doesn’t roll over to check her phone. “Early,” she guesses. “Too early for our day off.”

A day off. A present for her jungle excursion, courtesy of Tennant. A whole day to let her body come down from the high of being chased through thick vegetation with a life hanging delicately in her hands. Lucy lets her eyes close again and sinks back into her pillow. She goes back to focusing on Kate’s fingers looped carefully around the wrist between them. Tap, tap, taptap. Tap, tap. A song, then. One that she knows but can’t quite place.

“Is that Boot Scootin Boogie?”

Kate exhales a short laugh. “Taylor Swift.”

“Who else would it be?” Lucy feels the bed shift as Kate slides a little closer. She can feel the soft heat coming off Kate’s bare arms and wants to reach for it, pull it back over her, close her eyes and slip back into sleep for just a little bit longer.

It was a long day yesterday, her nerves pulled to their breaking point. When she stepped over the threshold to their apartment, the weight she had been working so hard to push off came crashing down on her. She doesn’t remember tasting the pizza Kate ordered, doesn’t remember picking Love is Blind on the TV or queuing up where they left off. She doesn’t remember brushing her teeth or turning out the light.

She does remember Kate’s body warm behind her on the couch, her own body pressed to Kate’s front as they sat wrapped up in each other. She remembers Kate’s arms and how they wrapped low around her waist in bed and held her tightly. She remembers soft lips to her bare shoulder and I love you against her skin as she let the exhaustion take over.

She remembers the Kate of it all, the steady and warm and loving presence she’s come to need like oxygen in her lungs. She remembers the overwhelming feeling of love—one she thought she’d never find in a million years.

“I could sleep another hundred hours,” she admits, eyes still closed.

She feels Kate’s smile against the back of her hand. “You can. We have nothing planned today.”

The thought is so tempting. She could pull Kate’s arms around her, drape them over her like the light comforter they’re sharing, and let herself sink back into sleep. It’s not too far off; she could reach for it and be asleep in moments.

But Kate is awake and tapping out a Taylor Swift song against her pulse point and that usually means banana pancakes and a Golden Girls marathon and pressing Kate against the counter edge and kissing her until either their lungs start to burn or the pancakes start to smoke. Lucy loves those mornings and the way Kate tastes like the bites of bananas she snuck before mixing them into the batter.

“Did I dream yesterday?”

“Only if we were having the same nightmare.” Kate’s free hand pushes back some of Lucy’s hair. “Otherwise, it was real.”

Lucy slides her foot forward, curling her ankle around Kate’s calf. “I thought so.” She opens one eye, studying Kate’s profile. She’s committed it to memory by now. “I feel like a truck ran me over.”

“It did,” Kate murmurs. “That very much happened.”

Lucy sighs. Yesterday wasn’t a dream. She can see it vividly in her mind and she closes her eyes against it again, trying to fill it with Kate—Kate so close and so warm.

“I’m not ready to talk yet,” she admits. She isn’t. She can’t. She’s still working through her family in her own mind; she can’t possibly put into words what they’re like and what they’ve done to her and to each other.

“We don’t have to talk.” Kate’s voice is soft and genuine and Lucy thinks again—again and again—how lucky she is. “We can just lay here. We don’t have to do anything at all.”

Lucy knows Kate isn’t lying. She knows Kate won’t push and she won’t prod and she’ll let Lucy set the pace for when and where and how. And it sounds perfect—a whole day in bed with Kate and their bodies pressed close together, hidden away from the world.

But someone told her to live her life yesterday. Someone who had the courage to throw theirs to the wind and start over from scratch. Someone who proved that there are still good people in the world who want to do what’s right for the sake of doing the right thing. And even if she can’t talk about it yet, even if she’s not ready to unlock the ugly parts of her past and lay them out on the table, she’s not going to lay in bed all day and let the world just pass her by.

“No.” She opens both eyes, staring deeply into Kate’s brown ones. “Let’s get up. We can make pancakes.”

“Banana or blueberry?”

“Both,” she says, feeling greedy and not caring. “And bacon. And toast. And—“

Kate laughs. “Okay. Remember we can only eat so much.”

“I can eat so much. I’m from—“

“Texas, yes.” Kate laughs again and leans in, kissing Lucy softly and pulling away too soon.

Lucy thinks about chasing her, pressing her deep into the mattress and not stopping until she has to come up for air. But she settles on letting Kate pull away and slide out of bed, pulling her hair up into a ponytail that exposes the long line of her neck. In her thin tank top and her soft shorts, no one has ever looked more beautiful than Kate does right now.

Lucy may be holding some things back, may be keeping some things close to the vest, but this? This she wants to scream from the rooftops. This she wants everyone to know. This she wants to tell Kate.

“I love you.”

Kate looks back over her shoulder, a smile on her face that threatens to break through the grey clouds outside their window. “I love you too.”

Live your life, Lucy Tara.

Lucy smiles as she gets up and stretches her arms above her head, feeling the tension break in her shoulders. She is going to live her life. She’s going to take every moment and hold it tightly in her hands. She’s going to love Kate with every part of her that’s capable of it and when she’s ready she’ll tell Kate everything she wants to know.

“Lucy?”

Lucy looks up. “Hmm?”

“I said, we can make toast too. If you want.”

She thinks about it for a moment before she smiles. “Life is too short to skip the toast.”

Kate rolls her eyes, pulling the sheet back up on the bed. “Where did you read that?”

“That’s a Lucy Tara quote, free of charge.” She winks when Kate laughs and scrubs her hair back off her neck into a bun. “There’s more where those came from, by the way.”

“Lucky me,” Kate grumbles, still smiling.

“Yeah,” Lucy says softly. “Lucky you.” She holds Kate’s eyes for a moment. “Lucky us.”

Kate’s smile slips into shy before she clears her throat and gives the neatly-made bed one last pat. “Lucky us,” she echoes. She slips out of the bedroom and heads towards the kitchen, humming something under her breath.

Lucy watches her walk away and thinks: this is a good life. This is a life worth living.

She follows Kate.

[lorelaiislatte]

some kacy headcanons while we all collectively suffer

kate has reading glasses, she just hates them. lucy, however, loves them

lucy will always wake up to kiss kate goodbye on surfing days, even if she leaves stupidly early

lucy can cook, but kate’s too cute when she’s bent over a recipe book and weighing even their seasonings down to the milligram

lucy is the big spoon. kate affectionately refers to lucy as her backpack

kate’s favourite flowers are lilies, but lucy’s allergic, so instead lucy’s drawn a few on their fridge-side whiteboard for her

post-it notes around the apartment are common, especially when they’re working different schedules. lucy keeps all of the ones kate leaves for her in a book

kate isn’t really a podcast person, but she likes the fictional drama ones, so they always have a series on the go together (usually when they’re on the balcony, or in the hot tub)

lucy hates cleaning the hot tub, but kate hates it more, so lucy takes one for the team (kate’s on laundry duty to make up for it)

lucy wears all of kate’s comfy clothes. if she’s away from home even for a night she brings one of kate’s t-shirts to sleep in

kate inexplicably insists on keeping her phone lock screen strictly professional, but has a photo of lucy on her desk

[oasivy]

"My days usually start out the same. I wake up relatively early to tend the farm, even on school days. My mom and dad get up at the ass crack of dawn to get breakfast ready and be outside as soon as possible. Well really my dad goes outside... my mom, well she loves the animals just as much as the rest of us but she rather stay in or go out on the town. She calls me and Kaci down every morning to come eat and do our daily gossip."

"Ooo, what's the latest gossip."

"Lately... you. They honestly think you're not real since you've never actually made an appearance"

"Me?! Your parents know about me?"

"My family kind of knows about everything. Especially things that I find important. We're a tight knit bunch. That has always been important to both my mom and dad."

"I really love that! Make sure they know I'm very much real!"

[pelorsdyke]

making a new pinned post to neaten up my fic links! my name is k, i love writing wlw ships, and ill be so real with you rn a lot of them are rarepairs. find me here on ao3. my tumblr fic tag is here, and I often post wip peeks for tag games.

some ships I’ve written once or twice include: spemily (pll), buffy x tara (btvs), jackienat (yellowjackets), mariakilah (yellowjackets), donnajoey (the west wing), maggie x sophie (leverage), and wayhaught (wynonna earp). I also wrote a lot of ronance (stranger things) during the s4 era.

marjan marwani & nancy gillian (911 lone star):

who will come into my kitchen and be hungry for me (test kitchen au)

and love isn’t a fact, it’s a hunch at first. (paul helps marjan come to terms with her feelings for nancy)

and your keys, your ring of keys (marjan starts to realize some things about herself, with the help of an oc. lesbian marjan)

underneath your hands I become poetry (some celebratory sex after tommy announces nancy will take over as interim captain while she’s away. inspired by the bts pic where nancy appears to be wearing a name tag that says captain gillian)

your essence is the ink in the word forever (nancy has tattoos. marjan notices.)

so swing your hips and do a little dip (nancy, marjan, and tarlos go to a gay bar)

I will do my best to get it right (nancy and marjan’s first anniversary plans go awry)

I’m gonna love you for a long time (marjan’s lesbian flag hijab, but also just like. 1k words of established fluff)

I’ve been under scrutiny (you handle it beautifully) (marjan and nancy are actors on the firefighter show austin 126. nancy may have a tiny baby crush)

everything I’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it (post-canon, nancy thinks about moving on. it’s kind of terrifying.)

speed queen marj versus the big tortoise (a coda to 5x01 wherein nancy & marjan continue their banter and kiss a little bit. a secret relationship fic)

when we’re cheek to cheek, I feel it in my teeth (nancy & marjan go to the carnival together. tooth-rotting fluff.)

lucy tara & kate whistler (ncis: hawai’i):

the room is empty, and the window is open (a spiderwoman lucy au, the tumblr tag for the series is here)

february, the thirteenth (kacy celebrates valentines day early, as per lucy’s way of handling holidays)

blue scooby-doo fruit snacks and unrequited love, probably (high school au kacy flirting)

sit down, breathe, and just listen (post-3.04, kacy talks about marriage and promises)

in response, your glorious laughter (a snapshot of a sweet married kacy early morning)

hear the desert wind roll by (kacy first meeting cowboy au, pwp)

one single thread of gold tied me to you (kai buys lucy a virtual meet-and-greet with her celebrity crush, kate whistler. it turns out they may be a little more familiar with each other than lucy’s remembering.)

hen wilson & karen wilson (911 abc):

I did think, let’s go about this slowly (karen and her instinct to let insecurity drive her decision-making.)

I wanna get stuck in your head (some soft henren fluff about parenting, flirting, and finding the time to talk to your wife.)

[the-forest-library]

October 2024 Reads

The Rom-Commers - Katherine Center

The Ex Vows - Jessica Joyce

How to Hide in Plain Sight - Emma Noyes

Triple Sec - T.J. Alexander

The Merriest Misters - Timothy Janovsky

Most Wonderful - Georgia Clark

The Situationship - Abby Jimenez

Straight - Chuck Tingle

Sorcery and Small Magics - Maiga Doocy

Lake of Souls - Ann Leckie

The Wood at Midwinter - Susanna Clarke

The Agency for Scandal - Laura Wood

Knight Owl and Early Bird - Christopher Denise

The Bakery Dragon - Devin Elle Kurtz

The Millicent Quibb School for Etiquette for Young Ladies of Mad Science - Kate McKinnon

Bye Forever, I Guess - Jodi Meadows

Mabel Wants a Friend - Ariel Bernstein

Into the Uncut Grass - Trevor Noah

Scaredy Squirrel - Melanie Watt

Scaredy Squirrel Makes a Friend - Melanie Watt

Scaredy Squirrel at the Beach - Melanie Watt

Scaredy Squirrel at Night - Melanie Watt

Scaredy Squirrel Has a Birthday Party - Melanie Watt

Scaredy Squirrel Goes Camping - Melanie Watt

CatStronauts: Moon Mission - Drew Brockington

Fangirl, Vol 4 - Rainbow Rowell, Gabi Nam

An Age of License - Lucy Knisley

Going Into Town - Roz Chast

You Can Only Yell at Me for One Thing at a Time - Row Chast

Impossible People - Julia Wertz

Cattitude - Katie Abey

oh no - Alex Norris

Milk & Mocha - Melani Sie

Lovely One - Ketanji Brown Jackson

It Gets Better...Except When It Gets Worse - Nicole Maines

What in the World?! - Leanne Morgan

Democracy in Retrograde - Sami Sage & Emily Amick

Abortion - Jessica Valenti

Anxiety Rx - Russell Kennedy

Still Distracted After All These Years - Kathleen G. Nadeau

You Deserve Good Gelato - Kacie Rose

Big Vegan Flavor - Nisha Vora

Bold = Highly Recommend

Italics = Worth It

Crossed Out = Nope

Thoughts: The Rom-Commers is a standout contemporary romance - really fun. I think Emily Henry fans would like it. I also really enjoyed Bye Forever, I Guess - a middle school You've Got Mail.

Goodreads Goal: 369/400 

2017 Reads | 2018 Reads | 2019 Reads | 2020 Reads | 2021 Reads| 2022 Reads | 2023 Reads | 2024 Reads

[littlesolo]

Kacy Drabble - Translation

on the phone Lucy: Tennant called me a word in German and I don't know what it means! Kate: Okay, what did it sound like? Lucy: Morgan Muffin. Kate: It's- accurate. Lucy: Kate… Kate: You're not an early riser. Lucy: It's 4AM! The SUN isn't out yet!

[tobeseenthrough]

personal faves for 2024 - my full media scrapbook for 2024 is here. these are the ones i enjoyed the most this year obviously but the ones mentioned in bold even more so. also putting this under a cut because it's long as hell.

films - take me back for christmas (2023), theater camp (2023), the heiress (1949), charade (1963), romantic prelude (2009), our secret diary (2023), ang larawan (2017), isa pa with feelings (2019), anatomy of a fall (2023), dune 2 (2024), challengers (2024), la chimera (2023), furiosa: a mad max saga (2024), hit man (2024), thelma (2024), problemista (2024), lovesong (2016), set it off (1996), the taste of tea (2004), revenge (2017), nine to five (1980), elvira: mistress of the night (1990), baby assassins (2021), sing sing (2024), oddity (2024), swing girls (2004), haru (1996), my cousin vinny (1987), christmas around the corner (2018), ghostlight (2024), look back 2024)

tv/dramas/anime - what we ate yesterday (s1) (2019), ghosts (s2) (2022), old fashioned cupcake (2022), stranger (s1) (2017), apothecary diaries (cour 2) (2024), girls5eva (s3) (2024), frieren (cour 2) (2024), rap sh!t (s1) (2022), ghosts s3 (2024), interview with the vampire (s2) (2024), my lady jane (s1) (2024), rap sh!t (s2) (2023), fantasmas (2024), smothered (2023), loot (s2) (2024), the sopranos (s1) (1999), how to die alone (s1) (2024), a man on the inside (s1) (2024), dandadan (s1) (2024), acapulco (s3) (2024)

not included but probably would have been had i finished the last 2-3 episodes on time : shogun (s1), the penguin

would have been included but their seasons hasn't finished airing yet: abbott (s4), matlock (s1), ghosts (s4), high potential (s1) and st denis medical (s1

albums (all 2024 releases) - brat (charlie xcx), bright future (adrienne lenker), lighthouse (francis of delirium), algorithm (lucky daye), where the butterflies go in the rain (raveena), big ideas (remi wolf), ten total (1010 benja), in search of the antidote (fletcher), letter to self (sprints), revenge (muni long), dark times (vince staples), i lay down my life for you (jpegmafia), buzz (niki), wilson (ashe), zinc. (gallant), gnx (kendrick lamar), bug (kacy hill), pages (shaznay lewis), weird faith (madi diaz), early twenties (cat burns), mantras (katie pruitt), diva of the people (gavin turek), alligator bites never heal (doechii), the sweater club (jelani aryeh), things look different now (gimmy), fk it (alemada), smitten (pale waves), patters in repeat (laura marling), amy (yana), old hobbies (frances whitney), i should call them (dua saleh), ache in my tooth (flowerovlove), see you at the maypole (half waif), cruzafied (cruza), chaotic erotica (bentley robles), glimmer of god (jean dawson), this is how i remember it. (beckah amani), the drive home (samara cyn), state champs (state champs), below a massive dark land (naima bock), sofia valdés (sofia valdés), mra (emel), long way home (jamie miller), dunya (mustafa).

books - lol. it's been a rough couple years with me and books tbh. prayer circle 2025 will be different!!!!

[i-like-turkey]

I saw your Bluesky account was no longer active. I had also noticed you hadn’t posted since thanksgiving. I hope you’re ok and Pupperoni is also doing ok. Holidays can be brutal. Please know you are valued. And you are important.

Thanks for checking in on me!

Short answer: My pup is doing great. I’m not. But I’m alive and fully intend to stay that way.

Long answer: 2024 is officially in the running for the worst year of my life. It started with two massive losses in February and then another one in early May. I dealt with my dog grief by going out and getting a puppy. She is the only reason I got through those early days cause instead of not sleeping cause I’m bawling my eyes out, I was not sleeping cause I was getting up multiple times to take her potty. And then during the day I was too busy chasing her around to feel much of anything.

But then May hit and her behavior started changing. Instead of my biggest worries being a noise complaint cause she’d bark herself to sleep in her crate, it was can I get her out of my apartment without her biting my arms down to the bone and ripping my clothes to shreds and accidentally strangling me with the strap to her treat bag?

So this last summer was fucking hell. I tweeted a bit about it, but y’all don’t know half the story. Imagine being ten minutes from your car and your dog is so scared that she’s lost her fucking mind and the only thing she can do at that moment is attack YOU. She doesn’t care about sticks or treats or sniffing grass or anything else. All she wants is to bite YOU. And now you've gotta figure out how to get her back to your car without losing a finger or having someone call animal services on you.

I was bleeding daily and sleeping maybe 3-4 hours a night even though my pup was finally sleeping through the night cause I was stressed and cause was on a mission for answers. I was constantly Googling dog training and behavior and getting tips and seeing horror stories about dogs that had to get put down because they were acting like my pup. And that thought was killing me cause I couldn’t fathom losing another dog so soon after I said goodbye to my first baby.

So I wasn’t myself this summer. I was quick to anger and couldn’t think rationally and more stressed out than I’d ever been at any point in my life, law school included. Those days are now just a blur of horribleness and I’m glad that we got my pup’s medication figured out and that we're through them.

But getting through them has brought clarity and time and the mental state to actually deal with my grief and process all of the other things that I’ve lost throughout the year. I used the analogy for grief last chapter of a semi-truck of elephants strapped to Kate’s back. That’s appropriate for me here especially in December, but Kate’s swiss cheese analogy actually fits my situation better. I’m full of holes. I’ve lost big, massive chunks of my life and they aren’t coming back and there's no replacement for them. I’m empty and I’m lonely and I need to get my shit together because I can’t keep going on like this.

And that means I need to leave fandom. I’ve tried to put on a brave face and pretend that everything is ok, but I can’t do that anymore. Opening social media is just a reminder of the past and what’s gone and what’s not coming back and how sad and lonely I am. So it’s time to go. I deactivated bluesky. I haven’t opened IG in ages. Idk what I’m gonna do about it yet. I’ll figure it out. I might delete or I just might let it be a zombie account. My twitter accounts can live on as zombies. I will keep tumblr because it predated my participation in the Kacy fandom, but I don’t think I will be around much. I need to focus my scant free hours on cultivating real life connections.

[dangerpronebuddie]

Maggie! I love seeing your make me write posts, I always look forward to reading all the snippets!

How about 🚁🚁🚁🚁🚁 and because I’m kinda in the mood for it too, also some 😈😈😈😈😈?

Kacie! You're so sweet 🥰 glad you enjoy these!!

Some time loop for you:

Buck hands the phone back to Chim and darts from the loft with the lousy excuse he has to do inventory. He just barely grabs the clipboard for the ambulance when the alarm rings, announcing the need for the engine. “Buck, you comin?” Eddie calls as he climbs in. Buck doesn’t think he can stand to hear about all the time Eddie spends with Tommy again. “Nah, take Chim, he needs the practice.” He turns his back to avoid the confused look on Eddie’s face. “Seriously?” Buck jumps at the sound of Hen’s voice suddenly beside him. He sighs and thunks his forehead against the cool metal of the ambulance. “I don’t want to-” “Eddie looks like you just kicked his puppy, and you look like a kicked puppy,” she says. “What’s going on with you?” “I… have to do inventory.” “I did it when shift started,” Hen says, taking his clipboard away, which is probably for the best anyway. “What’s going on with you?”

And some bashing fic!:

He shoves him back with enough force Tommy half collapses across the booth. “What the fuck, Diaz?” Tommy hisses as he rights himself. “Don’t fucking touch me again,” Eddie growls. Tommy opens his mouth to speak, but snaps it shut and looks behind Eddie. “Finally,” Buck says, placing three beers on the table. His usual cheerfulness seems a little off. “What'd you guys talk about while I was gone?” Buck asks, sliding in beside Tommy. “I think Eddie and I are closer than ever now,” Tommy says with a smug smile. Eddie rolls his lips and looks away. Bile rises in his throat and he swallows it down with a sip of his tasteless beer. He looks somewhere over Buck's shoulder as he speaks his next words: “Unfortunately, I think that's enough bonding for tonight. Got an early day tomorrow.” He stands and deposits some cash on the table to cover his drinks. “Early day?” Buck asks with a confused frown. “Told Flowers I'd cover his morning shift,” Eddie says with a shrug.

Make Me Write!!

[schnuron]

2024's albums I like [December 7th, 2024]

It's hard to keep up listening to music that's up-to-date or looking at the new releases in music websites such as Bandcamp, Bleep, Pitchfork, etc.

I'm picky when it comes to choosing the albums I like to listen to. Metal and rock don't excite me so much in 2013 as I keep growing up as a Millennial. Darkwave, ambient and some electronic music are my current obsession. Even though, I'm passable about the rock music, I'm not very enthusiastic of it.

I haven't mentioned the other albums here, but I don't think the ones from Billie Eilish, Taylor Swift, Coldplay or Glass Animals were the best albums they did. If you enjoy and like those albums, that's okay.

If I have something new to post a thread about the newest albums in December, I'll do it. You guys are welcome to share yours.

I wanted to post this thread a little a bit early before this year ends. These are the ones I've been listening to in 2024:

-

Darkwave: Dead Astronauts - Ghosts <3 Feyleux - Midnight Hearts Filmmaker - Grim Encoders (Dark Electro / EBM) NECRO - Into Oblivion Night in Athens - Wasted Reflektions Profit Prison - Gilt Sixth June - Stay! <3 Soror Dolorosa - Mond Sydney Valette - The Healer Electronic music: Erika de Casier - Still Charli XCX - BRAT Bat For Lashes - The Dream of Delphi Skee Mask - Resort Uboa - Impossible Light Kelly Lee Owens - Dreamstate Fennesz - Mosaic (ambient) Old Amica - For alltid (ambient) alva noto - HYbr:ID III (ambient) The Green Kingdom - Arcadian (ambient) / Horizons (ambient)

Other: 070 Shake - Petrichor Arooj Aftab - Night Reign Cigarettes After Sex - X's FLO - Access All Areas Nessa Barrett - AFTERCARE The Cure - Songs of a Lost World Ulver - Liminal Animals Wrong Organ - Mouthwashing OST

Honorable mentions / the albums that were okay: (G)I-DLE - 2 

Allie X - Girl with No Face (Synthpop)

Ariana Grande - eternal sunshine 

Arooj Aftab - Night Reign 

Artemas - pretty 

Artemas - yustyna

Astrid S - Joyride 

BUNT. - Levi Don't Do  

Bad Omens - CONCRETE JUNGLE [THE OST]

Bill Ryder-Jones - Iechyd Da 

Black Nail Cabaret - Chrysanthemum (Darkwave)

Blisspoint - DOG 

Blue Oyster Cult - Ghost Stories 

Bolis Pupul - Letter to Yu

Bring Me The Horizon - Post Human: NeX GEn 

Bruce Dickinson - The Mandrake Project

C Z A R I N A - Empire 

Calignosia - Malpaís 

Carlita - Sentimental  

Caroline Polachek - Desire, I Want to Turn into You: Everasking Edition 

Chelsea Wolfe - She Reaches Out to She Reaches Out to She (Electronic/Goth Rock)

Clan Of Xymox - Exodus (Darkwave / Goth Rock)

Disintegration - Shiver in a Weak Light (Post-punk / Synthpop) 

Donny Benet - Infinite Desires (Italo-Disco / Synthpop)

Dua Lipa - Radical Optimism

Echoberyl - Through the Chaos (Darkwave) 

Elbow - Audio Vertigo 

Embedded Figures - 6 Lovers EP (Darkwave) 

Eminem - The Death of Slim Shady 

Erik Wollo - Solastalgia 

FLETCHER -  In Search of the Antidote 

Father John Misty - Mahashmashana

Filmmaker - Land of Hidden Variables (Darkwave-ish with noise) 

Florrie - The Lost Ones 

Four Tet - Three 

Fred again.. - USB / ten days 

Future Islands - People Who Aren't There Anymore 

GENDEMA - sassy things

Gente De Zona - Demasiado

Geordie Greep - The New Sound 

Glaring - Hope (Darkwave)

Goat - Goat 

Golden Apes - Our Ashes at the End of the Day

Greyhaven - Stereo Grief EP

Gruff Rhys - Sadness Sets Me Free

Habitants - Alma

Hainbach - Breve

Houses of Heaven - Within/Without 

Hudson Mohawke / Tyga - L'Ecstasy 

IAMTHESHADOW - To End What Never Began (Darkwave) 

Iglooghost - Tidal Memory Exo

Jacob Collier - Djesse Vol. 4 

James Woods / Shooter Jennings - Hear the Thunder Crack

Jamie xx - In Waves 

Jlin - Akoma 

John Grant - The Art of the Lie

Judas Priest - Invincible Shield 

Julia Holter - Something in the Room She Moves 

Julian Lage - Speak to Me

KMFDM - LET GO 

Kacy Hill - BUG 

Kaelan Mikla / Bardi Johannsson - The Phantom Carriage OST

Kali Uchis - Orquideas 

Kat Von D - My Side of the Mountain (Synthwave / Synthpop)

Keaton Henson - Somnambulant Cycles (Classical) 

Kelly Moran - Moves in the Field (Piano music)

Kendrick Lamar - GNX 

Kim Gordon - The Collective 

Kinoteki - Faith and the Vessel

L'Ame Immortelle - Ungelebte Leben (EBM / Synthpop)

LEATHERS - Ultraviolet 

Lo Moon - I Wish You Way More than Luck 

Locrian - End Terrain

Lucy Rose - This ain't the Way you Go Out 

MAX - LOVE IN STEREO 

Machine Girl - MG Ultra

Machine Girl - SUPER FREQ EP

Machinedrum - 3FOR82 

Male Tears - Paradisco (New Wave / Synthpop)

Mamaleek - Vida Blue

Marika Hackman - Big Sigh

Marilyn Manson - One Assassination Under God - Chapter 1 

Mark E Moon - Resist (Darkwave)

Maruja - Connla's Well EP 

Mary Lattimore and Walt McClements - Rain on the Road

Matte Blvck - Vows (Dark Electro / Darkwave?) 

Meat Beat Manifesto / Merzbow - Extinct 

Mega Drive - Memory Disc EP 

Micah Dailey-White - Micah

Molchat Doma - Belaya Polosa 

Nadine Shah - Filthy Underneath

Night Club - Masochist (Darkawave-ish / Synthwave)

Occams Laser - Headspace (Synthwave) 

Ockeroid - Crow Country OST 

Opeth - The Last Will and Testament  

Owen - The Falls of Sioux 

Patricia Taxxon - Bicycle

Paysage D'Hiver - Die Berge

Philippe Blache - Tristitiam Et Metus Tradam Portare Ventis (Dark Ambient / Darkwave-ish) 

Photay - Windswept 

Pink Milk - Night on Earth (Darkwave / Shoegaze)

Porter Robinson - SMILE! :D 

Priest - Dark Pulse (Darkwave / Synthwave)

Qual - Techsick EP 

Ravyn Lenae - Bird's Eye

Remi Wolf - Big Ideas 

Ritchot Textiles - i 

SENTRIES - Snow as a Metaphor for Death 

SINE - Luxuria 

Sabrina Carpenter - Short N Sweet

Sega Bodega - Dennis 

Selofan - Animal Mentality (Post-Punk)

Shygirl - Club Shy 

Skee Mask - D 

Slash - Orgy of the Damned

Sleeping Rabbits - Breathing Room EP

Snow Strippers - Night Killaz, Vol. 2 

Sofi Tukker - BREAD 

Soft Kill - Escape Forever 

Squarepusher - Dostrotime

St. Vincent - All Born Screaming

TR/ST - Performance (Darkwave / Synthpop)

The Black Monolith - End and Beginning are Dreams 

The Fauns - How Lost (Dream Pop / Shoegaze)

The KVB - Tremors 

The Spirit of the Beehive - You'll Have to Lose Something 

The Sweet Kill - Nowhere 

Thief - Bleed, Memory (Darkwave / Experimental) [Prophecy Productions]

Thou - Umbilical

Toby Driver - Raven, I Know that You Can Give Me Anything 

Tommy Richman - COYOTE

Tomo Akikawabaya - The Castle II (Darkwave and Minimal wave)

Tusks - Gold

Twenty One Pilots - Clancy 

Tyla - Tyla 

Tyler, The Creator - CHROMAKOPIA

ULTRA SUNN - US

Ulver - Liminal Animals 

Union of Knives - Start from the Endless

VR SEX - Hard Copy 

Vampire Weekend - Only God was Above Us

Vince Staples - Dark Times 

Waxahatchee - Tigers Blood

Whores - War

Witch of the Vale - 100 Ways to Leave, Vol.1

Xiu Xiu - 13" Frank Beltrame Italian Stiletto with Bison Horn Grips 

ben. - subculture

ben. - subculture 

i Haxa - i Haxa

r beny - discerned in the fugue of streams 

sleepmakeswaves - It's Here, But I have no Names for it

-

Ambient:

Actress - Statik 

Alora Crucible - Oak Lace Apparition

Alva Noto - Xerrox Vol. 5 (ambient) 

Black Brunswicker - A Moment of Clarity EP 

Disasterpeace - Standstill

Duncan Ritchie - Lords of Wolves OST

Faded Cloak - Wrapped in Fog and Freezing Mist 

Field Lines Cartographer - Portable Reality Generator

Jogging House - Rendezvous

Lustmord - Much Unseen Is Also Here 

Mark Van Hoen - Plan for a Miracle 

Nils Frahm - Day 

Nonkeen - All Good? 

Polypores - There Are Other Worlds

Pye Corner Audio - The Endless Echo 

SUSS - Birds & Beasts

Scanner - Alchemeia

Steve Moore - Eye of Horus

The Body / Dis Fig - Orchards of a Futile Heaven 

[4alarmfirecracker]

[dragonbreth]

Time forsaken| TZ11

Authors note: We are going to pretend that I am not in the middle of my German class writing this! I’m so excited to write this cause my friend and I were watching Miss Peregrines home for peculiar children at lunch and I got the idea to write this!

Warnings ⚠️: slight swearing, pet names, just a warning that the ages might be wonky cause I’m too lazy to actually calculate how old the people would be! This is also just warning that most of this story isn’t about Trevor though he is in the story most of it is about Rowan’s backstory cause this is going to become a AU later on.

Aged!Trevor Zegras x Aged!F!Reader

“Grammy!” Kyrah yelled out in joy of seeing her grandmother “hi dear, how are my girls?” Rowan exclaimed looking at the 4 girls

“We are doing great mom. Thank you so much for watching them, it’s really helping me out tonight.” Spoke Michelle, Rowan’s only daughter “what kind of grandma would I be if I didn’t? Trevor is out with a few friends for the weekend so I was going to be lonely anyway.” Rowan told her daughter

The youngest of the three girls clung to Rowan’s leg, not letting go any time soon.

*later that evening*

“Girls! Who’s ready for a bedtime story?”

“Me!” Kyrah and Kacy yelled jumping onto the black L shaped sofa

“Kyland? You don’t want to listen to the bedtime story?” Rowan asked hoping she’d say yes just like old times

“I’m gonna pass grams, sorry but I’ve gotten too old for bedtime stories.” Kyland said as she walked into the guest bedroom closing the wooden door behind her

“Mhm…let’s begin shall we? Once upon a time there was a young girl named Rowan.”

“That’s you!” Kacy interrupted “hush kacy!” Kyrah yelled

“Rowan wasn’t like other little girls her age, she was smarter. She could memorize the whole Russian alphabet by the age of 6! Rowan’s mother and father thought she was too smart-“

There were three knocks on the front door of the brick home

“One moment love bugs.” Rowan exclaimed as she jumped up from the sofa and scurried to the door of the home

“Michelle! You’re back early. Is everything alright dear?” Rowan asked, her voice laced with concern

“Nothings wrong, just thought the girls would want to sleep in their own bed tonight.” Michelle said bluntly “oh! I understand!” Rowan said forcing a smile

“Girls! You’re mother is here to pick you up!” Rowan yelled to her 3 grandchildren

“Thank god.” Kyland mumbled walking past Rowan

“Bye girls” Rowan waved as she watched her 4 girls drive off in the white bmw she bought her daughter for her 21st birthday

Michelle drive steadily on the road as she listened to her 8 year old daughter Kyrah tell her about Rowan’s bedtime story

“You realize Grammy is just full of it, right?” Kyland said turning and looking at the 8 year old and 4 year old known as Kyrah and Kacy in the back seat

Kacy looked up at Kyland with tears in her eyes which Michelle noticed quickly

“Kyland grace!” Michelle exclaimed “what! Grammy is a wack-a-do!” “That’s no way to speak of you’re grandmother! I should wash your mouth out with soap for saying that!”

“You actually believe that her parents sent her away to a boarding school cause she was “too smart”?” Kyland asked “hey don’t spoil it!” Kacy yelled from the backseat

“Listen Kyland, I know it’s hard to believe but it actually happened. Grams told me that story when I was a young girl.” “God knows that was forever ago.” Kyland said under her breath “excuse me? That’s it. I’ve had absolutely enough of your nonsense! No phone for a week!”

“Mom I’m 13 you expect me to believe that crazy stuff?!?”

[pelorsdyke]

making a new pinned post to say hi! if you like my writing or me and want to read more of what I do, you can find me here on ao3. I most often write for queer wlw ships, including:

robin buckley & nancy wheeler (stranger things): there’s so many of these I haven’t listed them all, but here are some of my favorites

until what I love misses me, and calls me in. (nye! nancy’s birthday! a proposal!)

see you soon (ronance’s time-traveling child! mindflayer!robin! both old married ronance and first kiss ronance!)

heartstrings (a three part celeb!robin au. long distance, secret identities, phone sex!)

me and my girlfriend playing dress up at my house (robin dresses nancy up in her clothes as revenge for her gf making her wear frilly high necked dresses)

in the cold clear light of day down here, everyone’s a monster (werewolf pack of robin, max, chrissy, and vickie. featuring nancy identifying werewolf robin on sight!)

my heart was irrevocably gone (regency ronance)

i will love you with too many commas, but never any asterisks (a lot of domestic fluff for established ronance)

but the cold light of stars (my alien movies au! one of the crowning gems of my ronance stuff)

marjan marwani & nancy gillian (911 lone star):

who will come into my kitchen and be hungry for me (test kitchen au)

and love isn’t a fact, it’s a hunch at first. (paul helps marjan come to terms with her feelings for nancy)

and your keys, your ring of keys (marjan starts to realize some things about herself, with the help of an oc. lesbian marjan)

underneath your hands I become poetry (some celebratory sex after tommy announces nancy will take over as interim captain while she’s away. inspired by the bts pic where nancy appears to be wearing a name tag that says captain gillian)

your essence is the ink in the word forever (nancy has tattoos. marjan notices.)

so swing your hips and do a little dip (nancy, marjan, and tarlos go to a gay bar)

I will do my best to get it right (nancy and marjan’s first anniversary plans go awry)

I’m gonna love you for a long time (marjan’s lesbian flag hijab, but also just like. 1k words of established fluff)

I’ve been under scrutiny (you handle it beautifully) (marjan and nancy are actors on the firefighter show austin 126. nancy may have a tiny baby crush)

lucy tara & kate whistler (ncis: hawai’i):

the room is empty, and the window is open (a spiderwoman lucy au, six parts up so far)

february, the thirteenth (kacy celebrates valentines day early, as per lucy’s way of handling holidays)

blue scooby-doo fruit snacks and unrequited love, probably (high school au kacy flirting)

sit down, breathe, and just listen (post-3.04, kacy talks about marriage and promises)

in response, your glorious laughter (a snapshot of a sweet married kacy early morning)

hear the desert wind roll by (kacy first meeting cowboy au, pwp)

one single thread of gold tied me to you (kai buys lucy a virtual meet-and-greet with her celebrity crush, kate whistler. it turns out they may be a little more familiar with each other than lucy’s remembering.)

as well as spemily (pll) and buffy x tara and jackienat (yellowjackets) and donnajoey (tww) and maggie x sophie (leverage) and henren and wayhaught (wynonna earp) and more!