#earlier in the episode they called their singing a great shame

[anewstartrekfan]

For everyone’s amusement:

[enakane]

Just finished watching Sabikui Bisco and i'm definitely feeling some type of way. Dunno what way but im feeling something? Music was banging tho

[nct-oli]

IPYTM EP 4

I just feel like saying all of my IPYTM ep 4 thoughts now that I watched the episode, before I read any other posts on here. Raw thoughts minutes after closing the episode.

I feel like I need to say this first. I do not agree with Oh reading Teh’s logbook and invading his privacy, but I do appreciate that he told him later that he did. I also do not like the hitting Teh with the bouquet. Okay, just wanted to get that out of the way.

TEH (AND JAI)

I’m still mad at Teh. I do not forgive him. But I do want to say that Jai is a piece of shit for manipulating Teh the way he did. This episode made it so clear to me how Jai used what Teh wrote in that logbook to his gain, recognizing how vulnerable Teh was and seeing how weak his relationship with Oh-Aew had gotten and using that to his benefit.

Now honestly, I can’t tell if that truly was his plan from the start or if he saw the way Teh had fallen for him and what happened with Oh and decided to say that it was never real in an attempt to stop it as soon as possible.

Regardless, if he was a good friend as well as a good director, Jai would never have used Teh’s broken relationship the way he did. He could have tried to help Teh rekindle things with Oh, work through some of his fears and anxieties that were keeping him from feeling close to his boyfriend. That very likely could have solved both problems–Teh’s relationship issues and his acting barrier–but instead, Jai manipulated Teh’s feelings.

However, I’m not letting Teh off that easily either. There was a moment when I actually did feel a little bad for him, when I started to recognize how Jai was using him and playing with his feelings. And when Teh and Oh started doing a little better, I allowed myself to think that maybe they could figure it out with more communication.

But no, Teh wandered off at the after party to see Jai, and any tiny flicker of forgiveness I felt went out the door. The way he showed no genuine guilt or shame with Oh too made me honestly sick. Like Oh said, did he think he was stupid? Did Teh think he was being subtle? It gave me secondhand embarrassment to see him believe he was being anything except disgustingly obvious about what was going on.

And then for him to call Jai the Fang to his Akin, with his too-forgiving boyfriend sitting in the other room?? Again, do you have no shame, Teh???

Also, the way Jai and Teh both gaslit Oh-Aew, trying to make him think he was overreacting and overthinking when both of them knew Teh’s feelings were not just the result of his great acting. That the kiss was never just an exercise (at least from Teh’s side, which is the side that mattered most). Watching them both lie to Oh’s face like that lit a rage fire within me.

Now, the scene of Oh-Aew and Teh singing on stage and the music going quiet as Teh’s attention drifted from Oh to Jai was heartbreaking in a really good way. I’m so proud of Oh-Aew for finally deciding that moment was enough, that Teh deserved no more chances, and that he needed to walk away. I’m so proud of him for choosing himself.

I appreciate Teh’s roommate. I don’t have the sympathy in me at this very moment so soon after the episode to wish Teh such kindness, but I’m sure tomorrow morning I’ll be a little more open to him having the emotional support I know deep down he needs. So I’m glad he has his roommate extending a hand.

And it was incredibly sad to watch Teh realize how he’d isolated himself to the extreme all for this one dream, maybe forgetting along the way to dream about his relationship with Oh-Aew, his long term friendships, etc. All of the other dreams you can and should have as well. I think he started to realize everything he’d given up for acting and how less glamorous and fun it really was now that he was here.

And that hit him even more when he got casted and potentially signed, only to face the reality that it also meant erasing the digital footprint of his relationship with Oh, one of the few things he still had left. This life he had envisioned kept getting less and less glamorous by the second.

I’m not saying I want him to give up on his dream of acting, but I do hope that everything that has happened is his much needed wake up call. That he finds more empathy for the people he judged for drifting from acting, for the people he pushed away for not trying hard enough. I hope he sees how selfish and ignorant his actions and his words have been over the past few years and that he takes this as a starting point for a more understanding and accepting outlook on not just his own life but the lives of those around him.

And I do hope he heals one day. Or, well, I will hope for that tomorrow. Tonight I’m still mad at him.

OH-AEW

Now on to Oh. As I said before, I don’t condone the invasion of Teh’s privacy or hitting him with the bouquet. But otherwise, I really am proud of Oh-Aew. Do I think he handled everything perfectly? No. In an ideal world, I would have liked him to confront Teh sooner so he could have given him the opportunity to be honest early on.

But given everything, I think Oh’s level of compassion and his willingness to try to understand are more than most people are willing to give in his shoes. I genuinely do respect how level-headed he went about it. I wish he had been better rewarded for his grace, and instead he got a boyfriend who lied and continued to go behind his back even after Oh had given him an undeserved second chance.

But what I am most proud of is how Oh-Aew handled breaking up with Teh. Telling Teh that he was hurt and asking him to have pity on him. Oh chose himself again, more permanently. In that moment, he understood that Teh’s apology did not warrant forgiveness and that he was allowed to stay hurt, to stay angry, to stay unwilling to take Teh back.

Oh was vulnerable and still stayed firm in his decision to respect himself anyway, to trust his feelings and prioritize his healing. Teh was there crying before him, and he still understood that he had no responsibility to fix Teh’s pain. That the pain Teh was feeling was pain he had inflicted on himself.

You can see in the way he turned back to look at Teh leave and then the way he sobbed afterwards that it took all of his strength to not give in moments earlier. How easy it would have been for him to take comfort in the familiarity of Teh’s embrace once again, to give him that second chance and hope for the best. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he did; it’s hard to give up someone who once made you feel safe. Who once felt like home.

But I am so proud of him for choosing himself anyway. For knowing that, however hard it was in that moment to let go, it would have been even harder to live every day sacrificing his mental and emotional security for a relationship he knew would never feel the same. For a man he could never fully trust again.

Oh-Aew has grown so much.

OH’S FRIENDS

Also, Oh has the cutest, sweetest friends in the world. This was my favorite scene in the entire episode. I’m so glad he found his group and that they love him so much.

The contrast between Teh and Oh-Aew throughout this season and especially in this episode has been really apparent as they’ve drifted apart. And I think this scene really highlighted that. Teh verbally acknowledged how he had no one to turn to anymore, how he’d ruined his relationships with everyone over time, meanwhile Oh was surrounded by people ready to love him and take care of him until he was better.

Oh’s honesty with himself and the people around him resulted in a community of friends supporting him as his authentic self, while Teh’s lies to himself and the people around him resulted in solitude.

It’s tragic for him, really.

EP 5?

Honestly, I have no idea what will happen with episode 5. At this point, I want Oh-Aew to find happiness away from Teh and for Teh to fix his insecurities on his own. I don’t want them together.

Maybe one day they’ll find each other again. I don’t know. But after this season’s storyline has unfolded, I think Oh deserves better. And I don’t think they make sense anymore.

AND BECAUSE IT NEEDS TO BE SAID

Oh-Aew dying his hair from red to black again? Yeah. He is Teh’s red no more.

[theonethatwatchesalotofshows]

Ranking every teen drama I've watched

I have gotten really into teen dramas lately, because it's quarantine I can't go out and have fun, but I can still watch other people my age going out and having fun and doing things I don't get to do. Anyway I haven't seen all teen dramas, I was never interested in supernatural ones, so you won't find Vampire Diaries and similar shows on this list.

From worst to best:

The Secret Life of the American Teenager

I will never understand how this show ran for five seasons. It will forever remain a mystery to me. This show is so bad it's good. The writing resembles a wattpad story, Amy's pregnancy is inconsistent (like how was she five months pregnant for like five or six episodes, aren't the episodes supposed to be set a week apart?), the acting is bad (that is not to say that Molly Ringwald or Shailene Woodley are bad actresses, obviously they're not, I'm talking about Amy's sister that has the same facial expression no matter what her mood is supposed to be), some of the views this show expresses are very old-fashioned and damaging (the madonna-whore binary, the fact that they can't even utter the word abortion) and every single male character on this show is a creep and a cheater. I can't believe I watched like thirteen episodes of this. I will never get that time back.

Weirdest moment: "I'm a whore!" "Well, you're my whore." (Was this supposed to be romantic??)

Best moment: none

Glee

This is going to be unpopular and don't get me wrong, I like Glee, but I feel like the writers put much more thought into the musical numbers than the storylines. Again, Quinn's pregnancy is inconsistent (but I'm starting to think TV shows are always inconsistent about pregnancies), the characters don't look like they're in high school at all, the cheerleaders wear their uniforms 24/7 for no reason (Quinn even wore it to her sonogram, like seriously?) the whole celibacy club thing is weird and Mr Schue is a terrible teacher. However, the visuals and the musical numbers are great, Sue Sylvester is iconic (albeit also a terrible teacher) and some of the scenes are really emotional (Kurt singing I Wanna Hold Your Hand made my sister cry) so overall, it's pretty good.

Weirdest moment: Finn praying to grilled cheese (what??)

Best moment: Quinn giving birth to Bohemian Rhapsody, Kurt singing I Wanna Hold Your Hand

Dawson's Creek

I LOVE their 90s' outfits and Joey and Pacey are really otp material, but I just can't stand Dawson! He got mad that Joey didn't tell him about his mother's affair, as if it was her place to get involved. She was 15! It's understandible she didn't want to get tangled into that mess. He also slut-shamed Jen in a really gross way. He literally stopped talking to her for a day when he found out she isn't a virgin. Why are both Joey and Jen into this guy?? This would've been a much better show if it was called Joey's Creek or Pacey's Creek.

Weirdest moment: the way Dawson's mom confessed her affair to her husband. I don't think any irl human would use this choice of words. Also that scene where Dawson's father was teaching him how to kiss while Joey was watching. Cringe.

Best moment: any time Joey and Pacey are bickering. My shipper heart!

Pretty Little Liars

I loved the book version of this, but the TV version seems way too dramatic. First of all, they romanticized Aria and Ezra's relationship (ewww) and made the whole thing seem much more overdramatic. I don't know how to explain it, I mean the books are also dramatic but the TV show somehow took it to a whole new level. None of the girls look like they're in high school, but I love the way they dress and do their makeup. It's almost as though the writers put more thought into their outfits than storylines. I still loved watching it until Netflix took it off, though.

Weirdest moment: Spencer somehow trying to block A's number from her laptop in the middle of a park and then being confused that it didn't work. Weren't you supposed to be the smart one, Spencer?

Best moment: Haleb in the shower, hiding from Hanna's mom.

Skins

This is a classic. Effy is iconic (I somehow heard about her even before watching Skins) and the musical number at the end of season 1 was out of nowhere but still somehow fit perfectly into the story. I also give this show point for being one of the few TV shows where teen characters are actually played by real life teens. They look their age, talk their age (no "I reject reality" or other cringy lines like that) and aren't unrealistically perfect like characters from American teen dramas tend to be. They look like people you might actually meet in high school. However the show loses points for all the continuity errors (are 8 episodes supposed to be the whole school year??) and the number of unneccessary death/tragic accidents. It seemed kind of over-the-top and unneccessarily dark and brutal at times.

Weirdest moment: Chris's graphic death

Best moment: Wild World

Euphoria

The Gen Z American version of Skins, but with better visuals. Much better. I loved the aesthetic, the colors, the lighting and glitter. Zendaya's a great actress and I give this show points for casting an actual trans actress in the role of Jules. However I find it weird that all guys on this show are complete irredeemable assholes (except of Jules's dad and Ethan that is). Are we supposed to just root for the girls and not the guys? Also I find it hard to believe that any of these characters are actually 16/17. They have sex all the time (yeah teenagers have sex sometimes but on this show they treated Kat as some kind of a chaste nun for being a virgin at 16) and have seemingly no rules and no curfew. It would've been much more believable if they were in college.

Weirdest moment: Nate breaking into Tyler's house, beating him up and then taking a shower. The audacity this guy has!

Best moment: "You did this to me!" and Rue having an anxiety attack on the stage in theater class

Gossip Girl

I know this is also an unpopular opinion, because many claim Gossip Girl is the best teen drama ever, but for me it just got way too soapy as the seasons went on. The first two seasons were believable, even though they didn't really look like they were in high school, but after that it was just more and more weird plot points. I will give this show points for the fashion (I mean Blair's headbands and school uniform inspired a fashion line), the acting ("I killed someone"- iconic) and the choice of background music (Nate and Serena kissing to Paparazzi, Thanksgiving with Watcha Say). Despite the wild twists and turns of events, I just had to keep watching because this show had me hooked.

Weirdest moment: Bart Bass somehow flying off the building for no reason (seriously, what he did there had no logical explanation and defied laws of physics), Dan being Gossip Girl, Bart faking his death and returning more evil than before, Serena becoming Gossip Girl, the affidavit, everyone randomly stopping going to college... there are so many but Bart takes the cake I guess

Best moment: the Thanksgiving flashbacks from season 1, Dan placing a plastic crown on Blair's head

Freaks and Geeks

This is one of the few shows where high school is depicted realistically. It's not all glitter and parties and not everyone has sex and does drugs. Okay, I admit, the bullying was over the top and it was weird how no adults cared but other than that, it was pretty spot-on. It was emotional without being too dramatic and far-fetched and also had funny moments. Yes some of the characters may have been stereotypes but at least the show seemed self-aware of that. It's truly a shame we only got 18 episodes of this show, while The Secret Life of the American Teenager somehow got five seasons??? I don't get it.

Weirdest moment: when Cindy suddenly got super mean once she started dating Sam

Best moment: Daniel showing up at Kim's doorstep, Sam breaking down in tears in the end of 'Garage Door'

Gilmore Girls

I'm not sure this one counts as a teen drama, maybe it's more of a dramedy but I'm still including it here. It's funny, the dialogue is witty and full of obscure pop-culture references and the relationships between generations complex. Same as with Freaks and Geeks, the portrayal of high school is pretty realistic. Characters are shown studying and taking tests and not just partying all the time. However the show loses points for getting weirdly soapy in the 7th season. The dialogue wasn't as good and the camera angles were soap opera like and the storylines weren't very good either. You could really tell the show changed show-runners. The earlier seasons are the best. It's hard to explain but something about them feels cozy like a warm blanket and a cup of hot chocolate on a rainy day.

Weirdest moment: Lorelai marrying Chris and then making the whole "you're the man I want to want" speech, Lorelai defending and loving Dean for no reason

Best moment: Rory's graduation speech, Rory yelling at Chris and calling him out for not having been there for her, Then She Appeared, "Yes Emily, you may go first"... there are so many!

[pluviophile-bookworm]

AWAE 3x3 rewatch: thoughts and reactions

So I made a ginormous pause in between these again. I just wasn’t feeling up to the task, I guess. But it’s the anniversary of the premiere of AWAE, so what better day to do the penultimate one of these... Let’s just dive in because it’s been literal years since I first saw this episode and I remember literally nothing from it.

Oh my, Bash is just the best. And those baby chicks... well, I know what is most likely to happen to chickens on a farm when they grow older but... can we just maybe not think of that yet? Plus, seeing Mary keeps reminding me that soon I won’t be seeing her anymore. It’s safe to say I have mixed feelings about this cold open. Let’s move on.

Gosh, now they’re leaving Matthew alone with Delly, who is two types of people he’s uncomfortable around - a baby and a girl. But it’s fine, it will be just ‘a couple of hours’...

It is such a shame to think that Mary might have been saved... if she were white. People can be so awful. A human being is a human being. At least there are people like Dr. Ward and our protagonists who know that and act accordingly.

Oh... there’s that cute scene of Matthew showing Delly around Green Gables that I’ve seen in so many gifs... I can’t comment much on it so I’ll just sit back and enjoy. But before I go - Matthew is the best, most gentle man I’ve ever seen. He might be awkward around women and children, but he knows how to treat them right better than most people who are not awkward around them.

Oh gosh, the nappy! That kind of made me laugh out of place but, well, I just wanted to say - thank gods for Jerry and his many siblings. My boy knows how to change nappies.

Oh, they’ve got the printing press! Now that’s exciting! I feel like excitement is a good word to describe this episode, at least so far. We’ll see how I feel by the end of it. All I know is this is making me smile and I’ve really been needing that.

My, my, Ruby... I keep forgetting when it was that she got over Gilbert. Apparently it was not before mid-season, since she’s still in it way too deep. 

Oh wait... is this when things began happening between her and Moody? I mean, the way he gives her his handkerchief, you’d think ever since he stopped trying to make Diana and her ‘very blue’ dress notice him, he’s been sitting back and watching Ruby from afar, hoping he can, somehow, compare to Gilbert. The best part is, in just a bit, he won’t need to. Boy, do I need a fourth season even if just to see these two develop... and for Diana and Jerry to make up, and just in general to see the kids being all grown up... now I feel like crying because we’ll very probably never get it... ok, moving on.

Anne: Sometimes life finds gifts in the darkest of places./ Marilla: Indeed. Wait, was this Marilla’s way of telling Anne she loves her? This is just the best. 

The contrast between scenes dealing with Mary and the rest of the episode is just so stark, it’s jarring. It’s like, you never know the darkness someone might be sinking into  while everybody else is bathing in the light. You know, everybody involved in making this episode, and the show in its entirety, made it so poetic, and yet it’s not. It’s absolutely devastating. And now Gilbert can’t even tell Mary that she’s got no more than two weeks left. This is the worst. 

You know, Anne is right. Caring deeply will always be the right thing. I mean, it’s natural for Gilbert to doubt himself at this time, especially since the tragedy is happening to his own found family. You know, there’s something my mum taught me to do when I’m watching something and I can’t bear the subject matter of it - focus on the acting. And right now I’m just blown away by the superb performance by these incredible young people. But I really can’t bear to focus on the plot right now. And the acting being that good doesn’t particularly help me to detach myself from the story.

You know, tragic as what’s happening to Mary certainly is, it’s somehow lucky she has Anne in her life now that she’s about to leave her own daughter to grow up motherless. Because if only Anne’s parents had an orphan tell them what an orphaned child needs most, Anne’s own experience might have been very different. Mary is a very smart woman for realising that and talking to Anne about it. Because life is not about lamenting what we didn’t have. It’s about making sure we do what is in our power to make it easier for others if we can.

Ah, yes. Racism and ‘White Man’s Burden’ mentality are still very much a thing present here. I guess this here is the first mention of that horrible prison of a school that Ka’kwet would be sent to. This is. The. Worst.

I just can’t bear to listen to this guy. ‘Heathens’ - you mean people with a rich culture and belief system beyond your privileged straight white male comprehension? ‘Teach them all things civilised’ - you mean erase their own, I repeat, rich culture, and replace it with your white man’s ideas of civilisation? What deity fell from the heavens and made you God? And the way Rachel totally agrees with this guy, it just makes me sick. As if that guy would hesitate to discriminate against you on the basis of you being a woman! I just can’t with this. Let’s move on.

‘Be sure you marry for love. Only for love.’ Don’t worry, Mary, he will. Not before a huge, long period of confusion, mind you. But he’ll come to his senses eventually. People do stupid things when they’re young. That’s how they know they’ve lived it to the fullest.

Rachel just baffles me, you know. And Marilla, too, isn’t quite faultless here. How can you be so accepting of one kind of POC, yet so cruel to another? Then I remember their initial reactions to meeting Bash. They were not the most accepting at first. Yet they can see how they’ve now grown to accept and care deeply about Bash and Mary and Delphine. Why can’t they give Ka’kwet’s people a chance like this?

‘You may well have saved some Indians today’... Saved them? From what? Being free to practice their own culture? You know, white people can be so very ignorant... and I say that as a very white person. I’m just ashamed of everything my ethnicity has done to literally every other ethnicity.

‘I don’t wanna die’... You know, sometimes I do, and right now that makes me feel so ashamed. I should really think of Mary and also every real person who had an untimely death whenever I’m having those thoughts again. We should all learn to appreciate life so much more.

So this is the one with Mary’s Easter... this is beautiful. I might have to rescind my ‘excitement’ statement from earlier, but there is still a theme of beauty, love and family throughout this. Well, technically throughout the entire series, but especially here. I love this. 

Delphine with a flower crown is the cutest thing ever...

Minnie May: She looks like a chocolate candy. I just... took notice of how the background music abruptly stopped. You know, coming from an older person, this would sound... not at all ok. But this 7-year-old didn’t mean any harm, and they realise it after a brief moment of panic in their eyes. Still... black people don’t call us, idk, butter or something. We should not compare their skin colour to chocolate.

Their singing is absolutely beautiful. But let’s be real - in a real-life situation, most of the people would be way off-key and those harmonies would be impossible to arrange. Still, for this beauty, I am willing to suspend my disbelief for miles. Also, that prayer at the end... well, I’m not Christian, but I am religious, and I know the power of a prayer as poetic as this one. However hard it must have been for Mary to know she wouldn’t live, it must have been a great consolation to know she would go in such a way, surrounded by so much beauty and love, and light. Well, that ending was bittersweet! But I absolutely loved this episode. Except for the racist parts that made me absolutely livid. It’s so frustrating to know there is still so much hate in the world based just on minor superficial differences between people. Yet it would have been even more frustrating if we didn’t have people in the world like our protagonists (and especially the protagonist, Anne). It is such an absolute shame that this show, and others like it, got cancelled over some trivial issues and wasn’t given the proper chance to develop its positive messages even further. But still, even with just the 27 episodes it was given, it was able to cover so much ground. I don’t know what to say. AWAE is just supreme.

Let’s sum up: the final weeks of Mary’s life; racial prejudice might have just cost this lovely woman, a wife and a mother, her life; Matthew showing Delly around Green Gables is the sweetest thing; the first press-printed issue of The Avonlea Gazette, with a significant typo; and thus, a ship was born; subtle ways of saying those three little words; ‘Caring deeply will always be the right thing.’; the legacy of a mother; ‘White Man’s Burden’ mentality is alive and dangerous; double standards regarding the acceptance of POC; Mary’s Easter; going surrounded by a loving community.

[ladyherenya]

My favourite thing this year has been the Korean drama Crash Landing on You (2019-20).

It has something of a ridiculous title (I’ve ended up calling it Crash Landing or sometimes just Crash). But, to be fair, North and South was already taken.

“I can go to Africa and even Antarctica but not here. It’s a shame that you live here.” “It’s a shame that you live there.” -- episode three

To my great amusement, every month or so, Netflix has sent me an email that’s said: “Don’t forget to finish Crash Landing on You” or “Remember this? Watch it again: Crash Landing on You” or “Rewatch your favourite moments - Watch it again: Crash Landing on You…”

And I’m like: NETFLIX! Seriously, WHAT do you THINK I’M DOING?

I have now watched Crash Landing on You five times.

There are several reasons for this:

I successfully dragged other family members down this particular rabbit hole, and in a pandemic season, when things have been unpredictable (or cancelled), rewatching Crash Landing has been an appealing and comfortably-familiar distraction, as well as the source of many, many long, analytical fandom-y conversations, which has been fun.

I needed to watch it more than once to straighten out all the pieces of the story in my head. With 16 episodes, each over an hour long, it’s one of the longest stories I’ve ever watched. I’ve seen other TV series with more episodes, but nearly all have been much more episodic, rather than telling one continuous story.  

I kept noticing details that I’d previously missed because I’d been focused on the subtitles or that I hadn’t properly understood some cultural nuance. And some things are ambiguous in translation -- in a good way, a fodder-for-discussion way.

I have ALWAYS rewatched (or reread) my favourite stories. And Crash Landing fits right in with those. Someone in my family described it as: “Like Lord of the Rings on steroids!” However, I think it actually has far more in common -- visually and thematically, and also in terms of my willingness to discuss the characters as if they were real people -- with my favourite historical dramas.

In terms of story, Crash Landing is easy enough to summarise: A South Korean businesswoman is paragliding when a freak storm blows her across the border; she’s discovered by a North Korean captain, who hides her and helps her get home.

But I’m going to need more words to explain why I fell in love with it.

It is fascinating and, first time round, tense and unpredictable. It’s funny and very meta -- very aware of the tropes it’s playing with and of parallels and contrasts within the story. It’s visually and aesthetically pleasing, and the soundtrack grew on me.

There are a number of coincidences and a few ridiculous fight scenes, but the emotions are intensely real and so are the consequences. It has camaraderie and found-family and thoughtfully-complicated family relationships. There are characters I love, and characters who surprised me, and so much time given to character development!  It’s romantic. There’s a fake engagement (a favourite trope of mine) and while I’m not a fan of love triangles, I liked how this quadrangle-tangle is handled. And the obstacles to the romance are satisfyingly realistic; characters have sensible reasons for the choices they make.

I love how the story uses flashbacks, particularly the post-credit scenes.

The final episode isn’t perfect, but given that a perfectly happy ending would, realistically,  require the reunification of north and south, I thought it came very close.

Let me elaborate.

Cut for sheer verbosity, rather than spoilers. (I’m not allowing myself to list spoiler-ish examples or dive into analysing my favourite scenes, because then I wouldn’t just be here all night, I’d be here all week).

⬦ Fascinating, tense, unpredictable: I knew almost nothing about life in North Korea, so that was fascinating and made the story harder to predict, as I couldn’t anticipate what options the characters had or what obstacles might arise. And that isn’t the only reason I found it tense -- at different times, different characters are greatly at risk if discovered; there are occasions when characters are in danger of physical violence or are injured; and they have a couple of dilemmas to which there are just not easy solutions (See also: Obstacles for romance).

While I’m on the subject of the setting, although I cannot judge how accurate this portrayal of the north was, it’s portrayal of people as people was incredibly convincing. It’s a society where people have differences in personality and in circumstances. There are orphans begging in the market, people who can afford to stay in fancy hotels -- and a lot of people somewhere in between. In the military village, people have varying attitudes, tastes in clothes, privileges, standards of living, etc. Their lifestyle differs from that in Pyongyang, and also in other parts of the country. Amongst the military, some men are compassionate, some are corrupt and some are not obviously one or the other.

Moreover, it’s clear that corruption and villainy isn’t just in the north. In the south, as in the north, we see a range of humanity -- selfishness, good friends, complicated families, happy marriages, criminal behaviour, and so on.

I’ve read an article or two suggesting that the least realistic aspect is Ri Jeong Hyeok being such a sympathetic and honourable officer. I think it’s interesting that he clearly isn’t a typical captain -- he wanted a different career, he’s spent time studying overseas (in a democratic country), and, perhaps most importantly, his father’s position gives him protection from pressures many others face. He has the privilege of being able to afford to act with integrity, and of encouraging such behaviour in the men he leads.

⬦ Humour and meta: I’ve included these two together, because so much of the story’s self-awareness and intertextuality is humorous. I am very amused by so many things -- the village women’s interactions, Se-ri’s wit and banter, Jeong Hyeok’s facial expressions, the duckling's reactions, the way Ju Meok keeps comparing things to South Korean dramas:

Ju Meok: “I haven’t seen any drama characters that don’t fall in love in that situation. That’s how they all fall in love.”

(Because my knowledge of Korean drama is limited, there are a few cameos and references which I suspect would be amusing if one was in the know. The exception is the taxi driver singing, who was funny even without recognising the actor.)

I love the commentary that comes from all the moments when other characters witness the unfolding romance. Others’ reactions are often memorably hilarious -- some of my favouritest scenes fall into this category. (The customs officer! Jeong Hyeok’s dad!) They introduce humour and self-awareness into these moments, allowing the story to acknowledge “Yeah, we know these two are being ridiculous/sappy/emotional”. These moments reveal people’s attitudes towards displays of affection, particularly in the north, and their different attitudes towards Se-ri and Jeong Hyeok’s relationship.  

And as their relationship changes, Se-ri and Jeong Hyeok’s awareness of being watched and commented upon changes, too.

Which leads me to…

⬦ Contrasts and parallels: So many scenes which echo/parallel earlier scenes. Most obviously, this allows the story to compare and contrast the north and south, but it also shows changes in time, differences between characters, and differences in relationships too. Sometimes all at once!

 It means some plot developments weren’t totally unexpected -- it was Oh, of COURSE, we’re going to now see that character in this situation! or OBVIOUSLY we now have to see what this is like in the south!

But I thought it was really effective storytelling and I so much enjoyed spotting and analysing these moments.

⬦ Yoon Se-ri and Ri Jeong Hyeok: These two are the heart of the story and there are so many things I love about them. Like how, even though Se-ri is dependent upon Jeong Hyeok to hide and help her -- even though they’re initially hesitant about a romantic relationship -- they quickly become very protective of each other. Often to the point of willingly risking their own safety. Often to the point of exasperating the other. It’s great.

 That’s not the only thing they discover they have in common. They share some interests. They’re both highly intelligent, driven, successful leaders (he’s a captain, she’s a CEO) who are very private, lonely people carrying around grief about their family and their past. Neither of them likes to reveal their emotions -- he tries to conceal his by suppressing his facial expressions and avoiding answering questions, while Se-ri hides behind play-acting.  

I like watching Se-ri trying to get to know Jeong Hyeok. She isn’t deterred by his silences (unlike someone else) and she keeps the conversation going even when he doesn’t respond. She watches him closely, and says or does things to provoke a reaction. Poke, poke, poke.

And the time they spend together is really revealing. They share meals, they share a house. They see how the other responds under pressure, but also in various social and domestic situations. They see each other in a range of moods: calm, happy, grumpy, scared, tired, upset, unwell. Crash Landing takes advantage of spending sixteen episodes with these characters. Going through so many different experiences together, they learn a lot about each other -- about each other’s values, tastes and temperament -- and this means the audience gets a deeper, more nuanced understanding of who they are, too.  

Se-ri and Jeong Hyeok are also well-matched in how they show they appreciate each other -- she delights in giving presents, and he is quick to notice things Se-ri might need or like.

And it’s very satisfying when they open up, or when they cry in front of each other, because you know that they don’t do this lightly or easily.

⬦ Obstacles for romance, love triangle quadrangle-tangle: I appreciate that the obstacles in this story are not contrived or fueled by needless misunderstandings.  Se-ri and Jeong Hyeok have really solid, sensible reasons to be hesitant to first recognise, then admit to, and then act upon, a romantic attraction. Even once they realise that getting Se-ri home is going to take longer than they’d hoped and she’s pretending to be Jeong Hyeok’s fiancée, romance between them is still a road that leads nowhere. She isn’t safe staying in the north and he would endanger his family if he defected to the south, and they both accept that. And they’re reticent about sharing vulnerable feelings, and Jeong Hyeok is actually engaged to someone else.

But once they really open up to each other, the narrative conflict revolves around their circumstances, rather than doubts or misunderstandings they have about each other. Because the situations they face are dangerous and difficult, with no obvious or straightforward path to a happy ending, there’s quite enough tension to drive the story forward. They still have a couple of misunderstandings, but I like how they handle those, and I like that they don’t have more of them.

As for the love triangle, it doesn’t have the angst of someone torn between, or even attracted to, two people. Jeong Hyeok’s engagement has been arranged. Having feelings for someone else doesn’t change the foundation of that engagement, nor the pressure to please his family. He doesn’t love or know his fiancée -- not well enough to risk revealing Se-ri’s true identity to her. He’s honest with Se-ri and he makes an effort with Dan.  

(I have a theory that, if he had been in love before, he might be quicker to recognise how some of his behaviour towards Se-ri fosters intimacy and sends her messages he doesn’t intend, but this is all new for him.)

He tries not to mislead or hurt Dan, but she’s hurt nonetheless, and I like that Crash Landing doesn’t gloss over that. It explores why she’s hurt, why she’s so reluctant to let him go and why their relationship never really worked. (Neither of them are good at communicating with each other, and I think she takes some of the things he does for her for granted, rather than recognising them as overtures and as opportunities to get to know him better.)

Dan is not just a romantic rival, nor a narrative complication, but a person whose concerns and desire are taken seriously, and who is given space to grow.

Which leads me to...

⬦ Surprising characters, thoughtfully-complicated family relationships: As mentioned, Crash Landing takes advantage of the amount of character development 16 episodes allows, and not just for its lead couple. I was surprised by how much my opinion of certain characters changed, as I came to understand them better.

The character I was most surprised by was Gu Seung-jun.

Each time I’ve watched this, I’ve liked Dan more. I have a lot of sympathy for her now. I also like her mother, even though she’s embarrassingly over the top, because she cares fiercely about her daughter and about advocating for her.

Se-ri’s dysfunctional family are more nuanced than I expected, too. In particular, I love the attention the story gives to Se-ri’s relationship with her step-mother. I was expecting Se-ri’s father to play a larger role, perhaps because he’s nominally the one with the power and influence, and at first Se-ri’s mother seems so passive. But it was really interesting to understand where she’s coming from, why her relationship with Se-ri is broken and sad. The steps the two of them take towards rebuilding their relationship are believable.

(On a related thought, I appreciate a lot of the choices this makes in addressing these women’s mental health struggles. One or two moments arguably could have been handled better, but on the whole it’s realistically optimistic, with enough detail so that we understand the seriousness -- the impact it’s had on these women’s lives.)

⬦ Camaraderie, found family and the ducklings: Se-ri doesn’t spend as much time with the village women as she does with Jeong Hyeok and his soldiers, and when she does, she’s play-acting, in order to keep her identity a secret. But I like how they nevertheless support her, and how meeting her sparks change their dynamic with each other. They grow closer and become much better at supporting each other. It’s really heartwarming.

We gave many of the characters codenames, so we could discuss them when we were still learning their names. (I was surprised by how long it took me to learn some of the characters’ names.  Because so many were unfamiliar to me, they were harder to remember; I wasn’t always sure, from just reading the subtitles, how all of them were pronounced, and sometimes it was hard to separate the sound of the names from surrounding sentences, especially when, due to honorifics and titles and so on, subtitles don’t always match exactly what is being said.) Jeong Hyeok’s men are “the ducklings”, inspired by something I saw on Tumblr: Gwang Beom is “Handsome Duckling”, Ju Meok is “Drama Duckling” and Chi Su is just the sergeant.) I love how they function as a found-family, especially in contrast to Se-ri’s real family. They’re funny, loyal and caring, and in spite of their different personalities, work well together as a team. I enjoyed seeing the different relationships they have with each other, with Jeong Hyeok and Se-ri, and how some of those relationships change. And they’re so protective they are of Eun Dong!

Man Bok has an interesting arc -- I could have mentioned him under Surprising characters. I really like how he fits into this story, how he’s connected to the mystery Jeong Hyeok is investigating, how he becomes involved with the rest of the characters and has these moments when he plays a significant role. Or gets to be funny. I like the contrast and parallels too -- he’s in a different place in his life to the ducklings, and he gets opportunities to revisit past choices he regrets.

And I’m trying not to write essays about all the characters, and it’s ahhh, I have too many thoughts and feelings about them all!

⬦ Satisfyingly realistic: I like how -- one or two ridiculous fight scenes and an unrealistic paragliding scene aside -- things which happen have believable consequences. Particularly emotionally. We see men cry! A lot! And it always feels like a genuine expression of emotion, not gratuitous or overwrought. (Well, okay, there’s a very minor character who’s a bit over the top but he’s very minor.)

When one of the characters is gravely ill, she looks it, I found it oddly satisfying that she doesn’t have to be pretty all the time.

And I wasn’t sure if this belonged here or under “Visual details” but I love the attention given to Se-ri’s clothes. She cares a lot about fashion and in the north her clothing choices indicate that she cares a lot about her appearance, while making do with a limited wardrobe and still dressing for warmth.  (I’m happy to handwave that she seems to have more clothes than would realistically fit in those shopping bags.) I appreciated the practical streak, and, as winter wore on here, became envious of one of her outfits.

I don’t personally like the style of Se-ri chooses for work, but it’s different it is from what she wore in the north and from what she wears at home -- her power-dressing is like a uniform or a statement of persona she projects in her working life, and not necessarily a reflection of her personal tastes.

⬦ Visual details: I love so many of the visuals. Gorgeous scenery, interesting settings and clever framing for significant scenes. The sky, a place without borders, often becomes a focus and there’s a thematically-relevant flight motif -- paragliders, birds and kites.

I did not start noticing the   product placement until a rewatch, when I stopped to think about how often they went to Subway. The first time, it just seemed like a commentary on south-versus-north, and then I was just baffled-yet-amused by it all. (That sort of thing does not make me want to eat fried chicken...)

⬦ Soundtrack: The first time round, I liked the instrumental score and the presence of piano music actually in the story. As I kept rewatching, the rest of the soundtrack slowly but steadily grew on me, and I found myself liking the songs more and more.  

Now I not only recognise them by name, I can recall most of them well enough to hum them and know which scenes they’re associated with. Which is a lot harder when the lyrics are in a language I don’t speak and so I can’t use them as a prompt for memory.

⬦ Flashbacks: Instead of “previously-on” segments, Crash Landing employs lots of flashbacks whenever it wants to remind the audience of something.

Sometimes, instead of just repeating part of an earlier scene, it takes the opportunity to show the same moment from different angles or from a different character’s perspective,  or to juxtapose it with a different scene or to introduce new information. This was really effective. And when flashbacks were a simple repeat, I was usually happy to revisit important moments in the story (and sometimes, having a different person translating the subtitles meant there was a slightly different perspective on the dialogue).

Then there are the post-credit flashbacks, quite a few of which take places years earlier. I love how they’re puzzle pieces about the characters’ pasts and the connections between them.

⬦ The end:  The first time round, after watching the penultimate episode I was so engrossed in the story and so invested in the characters that I had trouble sleeping and I went around the next day with this tight, anxious feeling, unable to get the story out of my head.

The final episode is an emotional rollercoaster. SO. MANY. FEELINGS. There’s one particular scene which packs a powerful punch -- it’s exceptionally emotional and beautifully filmed. I love it, but I’m  glad we get the aftermath too.

It isn’t a perfect ending, but as I said, I don’t think there was a perfect ending was possible, not one that was both realistic and satisfying. But this comes very close. In the very final scenes, not everything is resolved or explained, and I like how that ambiguity is open to interpretation -- I like that there are some gaps for the viewer to fill in for oneself, however one prefers to imagine the characters’ lives going forward.

I know I could easily write another four thousand words about this story -- there are aspects I haven’t really discussed but this seems like a good place to stop. For now. I really like this story. I expect I’ll watch it all again soon.

[teamsarawatshusband]

Word Of Honor - 1st watch insta thoughts - Episode 2

Here’s Episode 1

Okay, before I get started with the episode, thank you so much for your likes and kind words and explanations. Thanks @averageace​ for letting me know that ghosts aren't necessarily dead. And thanks @ pretty-much-obsessed for letting me know it's not xianxia but wuxia. K, no cultivators. Got it!

Oh, just for future reference: I love when you guys help me out in the comments with understanding stuff like this! As long as you don’t spoil the story, I'm super grateful for all the genre info and cultural insights <3

Anyway, here we go!

Episode 2:

Oooooh, it was smirky guy who stopped the whip. And everybody is watching. How embarrassing.

I kinda like purple girl. She's so feisty and sassy.

Ok, the kid wants to make friends with alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy. He's in town to buy pastries for his mom, that's so cute. I need a shorter name for alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy. Anyway, the kid gives him a bookmark like a key to where he lives. Alright.

So smirky guy really did recognize the fighting. Oh, Four Seasons Manor is a sect! Ok, ok. And that's their fighting style. Was smirky guy once a part of them? Still so mysterious.

The kids are singing about the 5 lakes. That seems to be important somehow.

K, alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy wants to hitch a boat ride. And the old man looks like the old guy who got the 7 nails last time, but he's probably not, i'm just bad with faces again.

Yooo, does alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy have so much silver? Yeah, I wouldn't trust him either, old man. Oh, smirky guy intervenes. And now the old boatman wants to do the ride.

Whoaaa, nice scenery with the water and the blossoms and the music. I wanna go there.

So, now he's at mirror lake manor. Was that the kid's place? I forgot.

Wow, that boatman is really something, shouting out his insults as alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy is simply standing on the dock. Can't he be a bit nicer? LOOOOOL, yeah, so now he really dashed without paying, that's what you get for being rude.

But shame on tragic hero lord guy.You should always pay your debts. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Whoaaaaa, the blossom trees. I'm in love. Tragic hero lord guy flies over them in slo-mo.

And when it's not snowing, it's raining petals. Why is there a boat on dry land? Is that gonna be important?

Ooooh, fan fight! Must be smirky guy. Yusss! And now they're dancing.

Oh, and now smirky guy is being poetic. Dude, you sound like you’re crushing on him hard, man. Alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy isn't having any of it, lol.

There's two guys talking about war in the next scene. One of them is the dad and the other a son. Is that our kid from before? He seems older. I hate being bad with faces. Oh, he's not the kid. He's his older brother. And apparently there's one more brother even. I'm gonna get them all confused so much. Ugh

Tragic hero lord guy gets to stay in a woodshed. And likes it. I mean... whatever makes him happy, I guess.

Ooooh, back at the palace, I remember the helmets of the soldiers. And there's the guy who took tragic hero lord guy's job and... the other, like... boss guy. Maybe a king or an emperor. New at the job guy talks about... stuff. He's killed people. And seems proud of it. And now he's talking about a children's song. Oh wait, is that the song that alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy noticed earlier on? Oh, the song is connected to the glazed armor. Got it.

Ooooh, they sent a spy after tragic hero lord guy. So that's why he went into hiding.

Back in the woodshed, either the alcohol was bad, or tragic hero lord guy is having issues with the nails thing. His veins are moving and it looks disgusting tbh. And he's kinda... fuming. Literally. Looks like he's got a bad smell. And now he's... trying to meditate the smell away?

Oh, there's a fire outside.

Why?

Oh no, it's the red guys with the masks again. They're killing people.

Ooooh, tragic hero lord guy jumps into the fight, alright. OMG, I LOVE THAT TREE IN THE BACKGROUND!!! It's so pretty.

I want it.

Somebody is trying to sneak a kid out. Possibly our kid. Not sure. And the red guys are following them. Hmm.

Oh, a bird. Tragic hero lord guy calls it a sparrow and a spy from the window of heaven, which... okay, but it's definitely NOT a sparrow. Maybe it's just a not so good translation.

Aww man, and now my tree's on fire! :(((( Why can I never have nice things? :(

Now it's raining yellow paper thingies. They kinda look like those smiley potato chips thingies that you can get in the freezer section at the supermarket.

Oh, they're weapons from the red guys. And the guy who's trying to sneak the kid out... is that the boatman?

Oooh, tragic hero lord guy jumps in. If that WAS the boatman, then he's getting paid alright. Heh.

Ok, wth? Swords are not supposed to be that bendy. That does not look like a good sword. How are you gonna stab anybody with a wobbly, shaky weapon like that?

And smirky guy is sitting on the window sill watching the situation unfold like a supermodel waiting to be called onto the runway. Instead of... like... HELPING?! Wth?

And he's an alcoholic too? Hmm

K, that was a short stay, they're back on the boat

Eww, the red guys cut of somebody's arm. Wait, is that the dad from before? And the others are... the kid's brothers? Maybe? Oh, whoever they are, they're supposed to have the glazed armor, and the red masked guys want it. And they're gonna kill them all? That's brutal, man.

But if they ARE the kid’s brothers and they’re about to die, then at least I won’t get them confused, so there’s a plus side.

Anway, alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy, the boatman and the kid are in some dusty place. And the boatman is savage as fuck. He wants his money, lol. I like him.

Oh no, so much information. I'm so bad at this. So the kid is supposed to hide at 5 lakes, but doesn't want to. And somebody saved somebody, I have no idea. I wanna know if alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy is gonna go meditate again, because it looks like he wants to.

And now the potato smileys are flying in again. Great. I'm never gonna unsee the potato thing now.

Anyway, alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy who seriously NEEDS A NAME(!!!) is getting smelly again. And the kid wants to defend them all and instantly drops the sword. That does not look good.

So many red masked guys.

LOL, alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy needs 15 minutes. To smell better, maybe.

Wow, the old boatman is a good fighter, but he stands no chance. Are he and the kid really the ones supposed to fight, while tragic hero guy is being smelly and smirky guy is still chilling who knows where?

See the stinky fumes?

Whoa the kid is willing to sacrifice himself for alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy. Who is just as surprised as me. And if it weren't for somebody intervening, they'd both be dead. Who is it?

Yooooooooo, purple girl coming in to the rescue. Of course. Need a job well done, leave it to the woman.

Wow, she's so badass. And the kid and the boatman are helping too. Alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy went back to meditating.

:O There were two nuts!!! I saw them!!! Is nuts guy one of the red masked guys?

Oh, NOW alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy is starting to fight. Probably smelled the nuts and got into it.

LOL, wth? Now that he's done fighting, he faints? And THAT's when smirky guy shows up? To catch him? And alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy wakes up again instantly to fight.

Lololol, wth? Smirky guy is like "Heh, you cute, let me wrap your sword around us." ;)

Maybe the wobbly bendy sword is a flirting technique and actually does serve a purpose.

He has really long fingers too.

Just saying.

Aww, would have been a cute moment if the boatman weren't deadly hit. And now he's smelly too. Wait, do smelly fumes mean doomed to die?

Ohh, he's gonna make him adopt the kid, isn't he?

Alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy drops a name, and says he's Zhou Xu. Is that his real name? Feels like smirky guy would probably recognize him if he gave his real name. But also maybe not. I know nothing. And smirky guy is mysterious as fuck. But I’ll take the name,because it’s shorter than the one I gave him.

Boatman is still a bit rude, threatening to curse Zhou Xu’s ancestors if he doesn't take care of the kid. Aren't they cursed already? Anyway, boatman can't know that.

Ok, old boatman has died and the kid is adopted. Cool, cool.

Oh, some fighter guys in nicely pleated skirts... who are they? Are they the guards of the manor? Are they there to help the kid? Whoever they are, they came too late and they set off fireworks.

Ok, smirky guy introduces himself. Wen Ke Xing. Oh boy, I hope I can remember that name.

Why is the kid dizzy? Did he get hurt?

Now they're discussing about the bread and nobody's willing to eat first while the kid is empty handed and very clearly hungry as hell. I feel so bad for him.

Why does smirky guy come across so snobby? I wanna like him.

Wow, they finally give the kid some food and now HE's refusing to eat it as well.

Purple girl is the only person actually getting fed tonight.

I mean, she deserves it. She fought the hardest.

Oooooh, smirky Wen Ke Xing guy is onto Zhou Xu lord guy. First stares him up and down while he's resting (lusting much?) and then flat out asks if he's in disguise.

Oh and the kid IS hurt. And smirky Ke Xing is the only one to realize too. He's redeeming himself. A little.

Zhou Xu lord guy doesn't want him to touch the kid though. Why?

Oooh, they're dancing again.

LOL, purple girl gets it. I saw that smile. I bet she's a shipper. What is the ship name? KeXu? ZhouXing? I literally had to scroll up and reread the names. We should just call them smirklord.

Okay, end of episode.

What did I learn? Names were dropped.  Zhou Xu lord guy has adopted the kid. Smirky guy is called Wen Ke Xing. He comes across a bit shady and pretentious and also flirty. Very flirty. But Purple girl is cool, and she trusts him so he must be kinda cool too. Still don't know who they really are and what they want. Like any of them. So far, I like the kid and purple girl best. I hope they all travel together to bring the kid to... wherever he's supposed to go.

Goals for future episodes: Find out who nut guy is. Learn the freaking names reliably. Find out people's connections to each other.

[noethicalconsumptionunderdisney]

Ranked: Hannah Montana — Mamaw vs. Dolly

So this seemed like a fun one for me to do!  These are two of the most iconic recurring guest stars, so naturally I had to pit them against each other (or, well, pit their episodes against each other).  This competition isn’t particularly serious, but it is a nice excuse for me to talk about some of my favorite episodes on the show.  Like before, I’m going in reverse-order of how much I liked them, or Worst->Best, so I can save the best for last.  

“B-B-B-Bad to the Chrome” (Season Three)

It’s a testament to how awesome Vicki Lawrence is that even in the “worst” episode she’s in, she still brings it and is in many ways the strongest part of it.  This one loses out mainly on writing, and me fucking hating the subplot.  I’m sorry.  “You forgot some really arbitrary timestamp I decided to put on our relationship without telling you, which means you don’t love me” will just never be anything but annoying to me ever, no matter how much I like the couple involved.  Honestly, it was shit like that that made me glad I didn’t do a lot of dating in high school.

The main plot is kind of weak too tbh, but I’m still in some ways fond of it, because it’s very clear that it’s all coming from a place of love.  They replace her car because they love her, and they try to recreate the old crappy car because they love her, and she pretends not to notice because she loves them right back.  The best scenes are the one-on-one interactions between Miley and Mamaw, where you can see how much they understand each other.  It was because of those that I almost bumped this up one… but they weren’t quite enough to sell me on this episode.  Sorry again.

“You Give Lunch A Bad Name” (Season Three)

This one, again, not a very strong episode, but there are a few reasons I liked this one just a little bit more.  Part of it is I’m a sucker for Miley/Jackson centrics, and they strike such a perfect balance of brother-sister solidarity and sibling rivalry in this: the song in the beginning, the schemes, the mimic fights, them immediately pointing at each other when Mamaw asks them who the “guiltiest grandchild” is.  Another part is that weirdly, Lilly and Oliver seem to have more of their natural chemistry in this episode than they do in the one where they’re actually dating.  Case in point, their little quiet communication to leave in the middle of the siblings’ bickering without having to say a word to each other.

What’s interesting about this one is, Mamaw isn’t necessarily wrong that the kids are gonna take advantage of their dad being gone.  That’s exactly what they’re planning to do.  But then she takes it too far and holds on too hard, treating them like they’re 10 rather than 16 and 18 respectively.  There’s a classic conflict here of teenagers thinking they’re more mature than they really are, versus their family knowing they’re still kids but treating them like outright children instead of meeting them where they are. And I think it’s harder for her to accept they’re growing up than it is for Robby Ray because she isn’t around very much to see it happening.  While she recognizes in the end that they had good reason to be embarrassed, that theme of holding on to how things were because she’s afraid of losing them seems to be a consistent one with her in later seasons.

“I Am Mamaw, Hear Me Roar!” (Season Four)

First off, I just want to say that I think having a Dolly episode and a Mamaw episode after “I’ll Always Remember You,” and right after each other, was a really smart choice, especially the way they did it.  Dolly can help her embrace what it’s like to be all-celebrity, all the time, and Mamaw reminds her not to forget her family, and how hard that kind of life can actually be. Not just for Miley, but for the people around her.  They just tie really well into that whole, “She’s always had the best of both worlds, but now she’s gotta learn what living without her secret feels like” theme that late stage Season 4 has going for it.

One thing that always strikes me about this episode is how it puts so much of her actions in context, not just in this episode, but retroactively.  Of course Robby Ray forgot to visit her when he was younger and his own music career was in full swing.  Of course she would panic when the same seems to be happening to Miley, when they can’t take one picture or have one tea without Miley getting hounded by her fans, because she doesn’t have Hannah Montana to hide behind anymore. (Of course, I’m not so sure the timeline adds up there, but I’m gonna let that go because of the point it was trying to make.)  Being smacked in the face with Miley’s fame is really a wakeup call for all of them, but that makes Miley’s efforts to make sure Mamaw understands how much she cares all the more sweet.

“Good Golly, Miss Dolly” (Season One)

I’d initially put “Kiss It Goodbye” here, but I switched them when I realized I was underrating it— that episode was better than I remembered.  But I like this one, too!

This is Dolly’s first appearance and introduction, and she comes in with a bang.  The frou-frou, the flowers, and of course, the infamous camera that kickstarts the conflict of the episode.  Well, sort of— the real conflict is Miley’s confused feelings for Jake Ryan, torn between “falling all over him,” playing hard to get, and not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing her vulnerable.  The way it ends up intersecting with Oliver’s subplot of trying to compile a goodbye video for the principal is brilliant, and that sneaking scene?  Just amazing.

Of course, this puts her right back where she started, and she ends up regretting it when it’s seemingly too late for her and Jake, but her ripping up the flowers is funny, and then Dolly gets to show off her singing chops a little when she and Robby Ray cheer her up in a really sweet scene.  Beyond that, the subplot is… fine.  It’s pretty forgettable, but I liked it okay.  It’s not frustrating like some of the subplots in previous episodes on this list, but not quite as awesome as…

#3: “Kiss It Goodbye” (Season Four)

And with that, we’ve cracked the top three!  This one surprised me upon rewatch.  I knew I liked it, I just didn’t know how much I liked it until I saw it again. I think part of it might be me attributing some of my own feelings about Cancel Culture as a whole and how that’s affected us for the worse overall, celebrity or not, as well as some meta-significance to Miley’s career, both at the time and afterwards.  But let me get into the episode itself rather than getting on those tangents.

Miley starts off being a little careless with her image… but this is understandable, as she’s used to having her privacy, and living without it’s gonna take some getting used to.  Dolly has this legendary entrance in a personalized helicopter, complete with a pink ladder.  She uses her own know-how about fame to help Miley navigate the paparazzi, reassures her after a brutal interview with Colin Lassiter, and then encourages both her and Robby Ray to sing with her at her performance.  While both of them object at first, Robby Ray eventually gets up the courage to go… which is the push Miley needs to get past her fears and get back on the horse herself.

Beyond the main plotline and overall message that I love, it’s really quotable, and has one of the best subplots this show has ever had.  Rico goes practically catatonic because the Stewarts, a family of “idiots” he looks down upon, fooled him, an evil genius with an ego that can’t handle that.  I also like that we see Lilly’s compassionate side coming back in this episode in both plotlines, it’s the one thing I felt season 4’s Lilly was lacking overall, and it was fun to see her point her sharp tongue towards herself for once this season.  And of course, Jackson enjoying Rico’s suffering, but ultimately being the one to help him out of it was perfect, and bringing back the choir from earlier that season was even better.

#2: “I Will Always Loathe You” (Season Two)

Before anyone gets mad that this wasn’t my #1 pick, let me just say for the record that this episode is AWESOME.  Mamaw and Dolly’s rivalry is so explosive and they play off each other so beautifully, and the culmination of that into the “Granny Smackdown” is so well-done.  And look, yeah, I know that there were stunt doubles and probably a mannequin or two involved, but I don’t care, it’s a fantastic scene.  I love Robby Ray trying to make peace and ending up getting dragged into it, I love Hannah Montana awkwardly trying to salvage the situation, and ultimately breaking them up, and I love Jackson and Lilly scarfing down popcorn and watching the whole thing unfold from home.

If I had to pick which one of these episodes was the funniest, it would be this one, no contest.  The subplot here is great too; simple yes, but I think the simplicity works in contrast to just how much is going on in the main plot, and Oliver’s shame at his own involvement in the end?  Wonderful.  The contrast between the two women picking clothes for Miley’s award show, and the decision to genuinely make up after seeing how much it hurt Miley were executed beautifully too.  We don’t get the sense that they’re going to be BFFs, but I do like that the ending scene shows promise, that they’re at least capable of getting along, when they want to.   As Miley says, “You’re trying.  That is all I’ve ever wanted.”

So yeah, this episode?  Amazing.  But… not quite my favorite.

#1: “Grandmas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Play Favorites” (Season One)

Remember when I said I’m a sucker for Miley/Jackson centrics?  Yeah.  This episode was probably where all of that began for me.  (Also the beginning of my feelings about Jackson going from “oh he’s pretty funny” to “LET ME LOVE YOU,” but I’ll try to keep my stanning to a minimum here.)

We start off with what appears to be a fairly straightforward story.  Hannah Montana is meeting the queen.  Jackson has a volleyball game.  Mamaw’s coming to visit, and she’s critical of Robby Ray, particularly his eating habits, she’s tepidly nice to Miley, but treats her as an afterthought, and she heaps praise and adoration and attention onto Jackson by the bucketload.  On the surface, it seems that this is about Mamaw unfairly favoring Jackson over Miley.  Right up until this happens:

“She’s gonna insult the queen and ruin my command performance all because of her ‘little Jackson.’  It’s always about you!”

“Me?!  Well, it’s never about me!  Everything in this family revolves around you!”

One comeback, and the tables are turned.  Yes, Mamaw hasn’t treated Hannah Montana getting to sing for the Queen of England with the respect and admiration it deserves.  But Robby Ray and Miley haven’t been treating Jackson with the respect and admiration he deserves.  When Miley snarks that Mamaw would rather go to Jackson’s volleyball game than her performance, she responds with, “Well, if I don’t, who will?  I don’t see either one of you heading for the door.”  She doesn’t ignore Miley because she loves her any less.  In an ironic turn of events, the reason she ignores Miley isn’t about her at all.

I do like, though, that the episode doesn’t treat this as “two wrongs make a right.”  Mamaw still apologizes for making Miley feel “invisible,” like her accomplishments don’t matter, like she doesn’t care.  Jackson feeling invisible because his dad and his sister and the whole rest of the world treat him that way, doesn’t excuse Mamaw treating Miley that way.  And the fact that all of it’s unintentional, and that the neglect is coming from someone who does, genuinely, love that person, doesn’t erase the harm it causes. This is a lesson for both of them, and Miley comes away with a greater understanding of what her brother goes through.

There is still a part of me that wishes this had gotten elaborated on more in the show?  Not that Jackson doesn’t bring up the favoritism issue multiple times afterward, but it’s not treated seriously very often after this, considering how often it comes up.  It saddens me to think that, for all the efforts they make in this episode to make sure they’re there for Jackson in the end, Miley and Robby Ray still end up falling into the same patterns with Jackson as the show goes on, and worse.   I can’t help but think this pattern of neglect and Jackson’s deterioration into “the family failure” are related, and while I don’t need every single episode to treat it as A Big Deal, the truth is, it is a big deal, and I wish the show had been more consistent in actually taking it seriously.

So that’s my list!  In the end, I think we can all agree Mamaw and Dolly are both pretty iconic characters, and made the show all the richer for being on it.  I’ve loved getting a chance to look at their episodes again, and make sure to stay tuned for my next Ranked post for this series, where I may be talking about another iconic recurring character on this show….  (Hint: one of these episodes is on that list, too.)  Until next time!

[totallypathet]

Episode 8

A rusical, okay! We like a rusical. Interesting how they've done it this year though, I don't think they've ever done a rusical where they weren't either singing live or lipsyncing to a pre-arranged track of vocals. Half of me thinks it would have been better if they'd just sung it live, but then I guess they couldn't have done the OTT choreo.

The rusical itself was a little weird, some of the writing was just odd, and the "jokes" really weren't that funny. Anyway, let's talk about it!

1. Denali

I was worried for Denali this week! It happens so often on this show where we see queens say "I don't understand why I've only been safe I have to really up my game this week" and then they promptly get the judges attention in all the wrong ways and get sent home. I also kind of think Rosé did her a massive favour by refusing to give her the role they fought over (I can't even remember the names, they were all bizarre), because I think Denali would have got so in her head about that role and just wouldn't have been able to let go and have fun like she did.

After the Anne Hathaway call though, she just seemed so much happier and more relaxed, and she kind of just went into it with a much better attitude and she killed it! She did an awesome job in the rusical, it was fun to see her play a sort of grungy, messy character because she's so polished usually. She did an amazing job, and she deserved to be in the top this week!

Her look for me was a little bit meh, I just wish the snake headpiece had been bigger and bolder. From a distance it kind of looked like noodles. But it was still good, she still looked great, and I'm proud of her!

2. Elliott

Why is Elliott still there? I don't get it. She should have gone last week, and then this week her performance was just okay, and her look was a worse version of Tina's.

She should have been lipsyncing for me, or at least in the bottom three! I don't get what they see in her.

3. Gottmik

Gottmik was great this week! I loved her performance, again it was fun watching her do something outside her comfort zone, she's not really known for being a dancer, so it was cool to see that. I really like that she really genuinely gave that her absolute best, like she knew she wasn't a great dancer but she worked really hard to get that choreography, and she did it great!

Her look was stunning, obviously! Gottmik and Symone are carrying the runway fashion this season. It was very cool, very conceptual, very Gottmik.

I dont know that I necessarily would have put her in the top this week. I think she was great, but I actually think Tina should have been in the top - which is something I never thought I'd say!

4. Kandy Muse

I feel like Kandy was mostly just unfortunate this week.

I think her recorded track was great - I did think there were to many vocal effects on it, but that's not really her choice, she can't blame her. I also think she's not a bad dancer, but I think she was thrown off to some extent by her wardrobe choices - the wig got in the way too much, and the skirt seemed to be a bit restricting, it just doesn't seem like she thought those choices through very well. It wasn't her best performance, but I also don't think it was a bad performance, which is kind of why I think she was just unfortunate.

Her runway this week I think was stunning. I feel like every week I say she's never looked prettier, but honestly this week she looked so pretty!! I loved the daisy's in her hair, and that long wig was so stunning with all that gorgeous fabric, I just loved it.

I think it's right that she was in the bottom, but again I don't think she did a bad job this week, I think she just delivered an average performance, when most of the other queens had a good performance.

5. Olivia Lux

Another great week for Olivia! She has such a stunning voice I was so excited to hear her do more singing. I kind of think she should have been in the tip three, but again I am biased, as an Olivia Stan 😂

My only real criticism of her this week was her outfit in the rusical? I get that she was a tech student, and I think she was just going for a casual look, it's just kind of unfortunate that it came off boring instead. I kind of wish she'd leaned into a more student look, and done like, stained sweatpants, and a really messy bun. Actually, it would have been really funny if, you know like you see art students with messy buns and a pencil through it? If she'd have done a messy bun and like a computer mouse through it or something! But overall her performance was incredible.

She always brings it on the runway as well, she brings these kind of pageant gowns, but in a really beautiful and modern way? I love it. I loved the big puff sleeve, I loved the fringe, she looked stunning.

6. Rosé

Rosé made me so happy this week! Her voice is so incredible, that Don't Rain on My Parade pastiche literally gave me chills! She is talented as hell, and I'm glad the judges are seeing it.

Her performance was really incredible - she's an incredible singer, and a great dancer - but I have a similar thing as Olivia about her outfit in the rusical? It just seemed like kind of an odd choice. I didn't get until like halfway through that she was meant to be like "the slutty friend", I just didn't really get that from her look. When the dress kept riding up it just looked like a mistake, you know what I mean? Again, it's a nitpick - they probably didn't have a whole lot of outfit choices for this challenge because they didn't know their roles before they came.

I loved her runway look as well! I loved the Mask reference, the only thing I wish is that she'd had a big hat, instead of that tiny fascinator. I'm so nitpick today, honestly! I just sort of wish she'd walked out with a big hat pulled right down and then revealed the green face when she hit the end of the runway. But that's just me! I did think it was stunning. I also don't think it was orange? Like it was the orange side of yellow, but it was definitely still yellow!

I'm really glad she won this challenge, she deserved it so much!

7. Symone

Symone had a bit of a rough week, and I feel for her. She really struggled with her vocals, and look not everyone is a singer, that's okay! But I can see how much she got I her head having seen other queens absolutely kill their vocals, and I think she just felt really insecure about it. I do kind of think it's unfair that they record their vocals in front of everyone else. When it's a team challenge, it makes sense, but when they're competing as individuals it just seems unfair and literally designed to make the queens who aren't singers feel bad!

Also, sidenote, they recors vocals in this huge, wide open runway room, that can't be good acoustics in which to record vocals, surely. In earlier seasons they seemed to use (at least something akin to) a recording studio? I'm confused.

Anyway, it was tough to watch this week, because she really did just get in her head about it, and it affected her whole performance. She wasn't having a good time, and that was rough. I do think part of the problem is that she was wearing sunglasses during the performance? When the audience can't see your eyes it's really difficult for them to connect with you while you're performing. It was just a shame.

Her runway look though! Honestly, her and Gottmik are going to need physio after carrying the whole of the fashion for season 13 on their backs! It was so stunning, that big coat, and the suspenders; she looked so cool and fashionable, I just immediately forgave the rest of her performance!

Unfortunately, I do think she deserved to be in the bottom this week, but I really hope she can pull back up to being the Symone we all know and love next week!

8. Tina Burner

I actually really liked Tina this week! I've been very underwhelmed with Tina this season, but I actually think she did a great job this week! I loved her very Liza Minelli rusical performance (and look), she was giving me that very old Broadway half talking, half singing; and I think it was great! Okay Michelle, she stopped lipsyncing like 2 seconds before the track when she died, but she really performed her track, and she sang it really well!

And then her runway look was great! It was campy, but it was also beautiful! It was fitted beautifully, it was cut beautifully, she looked stunning, the headlights on the tits was hilarious - and I noticed after the lipsync that those were actual lights! They actually lit up! So cute! And finally she wore something other than a red wig, and she looked so beautiful! Her face was gorgeous, the hair was perfect, it was great. So polished.

She did not at all deserve to be bottom three this week - especially not when Elliott with 3 Ks was safe.

9. Utica

I feel like my opinion on Utica goes up and down all the Time. Sometimes I think she's great, and other times I just feel kind of bored by her.

This week I was a little bored. I think she did well delivering that track, that's a tough vocal part. That's it.

Maybe that's not super fair. I just think her actual performance was a bit boring, and her facial expressions are genuinely becoming hard to watch. I am not looking forward to watching her lipsync when she lands in the bottom two.

I also hated hated hated her runway look this week. I know she was going for this medieval thing and she explained the cutout sides and all that, but it was ugly. And not even in a cool way of being ugly but fashionable, or so ugly that it's pretty; it was just fuck ugly.

I think it was right that she was safe, her performance was better than Kandy, Symone and Elliott, but her runway look was definitely the worst.

This week was kind of a weird one, because I really really didn't understand the judging criteria this week. I am still baffled that Elliott was safe, I'm baffled that she's still there at all, honestly. I'm also still shocked about Tina being in the bottom?! I don't get it.

I am kind of glad it was a double shantay this week - I just kind of feel like neither Kandy nor Symone actually did a bad enough job to go home this week.

Having said that, it is getting very tiring that there is still so many queens there! 8 episodes and only 4 queens have gone home? How long is this fucking series going to be???

[dukeofonions]

Reaction Redux (I know it doesn’t make sense but it sounds cool)

Alright, here is my initial reaction to Putting Others First: Selfishness vs Selflessness Redux.

It’s finally here, I’ve watched it a total of two times and currently have it on in the background as I type this, and I have a lot of feelings. All of which would be too much for one post, so after I do this I’ll be making a few separate posts addressing certain points I’d like to expand on further. 

So what I’m going to do is have the video playing as I write this out, that way I don’t miss out anything I wanted to discuss. Basically it’s not gonna be a full on analysis, just a lot of random ramblings with what I hope are some insightful gems sprinkled throughout. Consider these my notes for all my future serious analysis posts. 

Good? Great. Let’s go.  (Also spoilers under the cut)

So, how did I feel as I watched the video for the first time? Well considering I got the notification for the video while I was still at work, I couldn’t get as excited as I wanted to be about it because I didn’t get off until 8pm and had to deal with one too many dunderheads so I was pretty grumpy once I got off. 

However, as soon as I got home and retreated to the safety of my isolation fortress (aka my bedroom) I was finally able to get excited as I got on my laptop and pulled up the video and let me just say I was a mess the entire time. I missed my boys!!! I knew they wouldn’t all be present, but I still missed my boys!!! And I loved seeing them again!!! 

First things first, that song at the beginning! I think it’s called Review Redux (correct me if I’m wrong) it’s such a freaking bop and I wish it was longer because I could listen to it all day. I loved the artwork and little details that went into their characters, and how each of the circles represented who was singing/talking by their colors. Fun stuff and a great way to recap everything! As well as foreshadow things to come within the episode… “If our goals aligned with his what would that say?” Roman you’re in for a rude awakening bud… 

Also, the little moment near the beginning where Patton is about to shut Thomas’ negative thinking down, but stops himself and allows Thomas to explain why he feels that way. Showing that he’s learned to ease up just a little since he learned to do so in Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts. Good for you Patton. 

Speaking of Patton, oh he is so confused. I understand where he’s coming from, and honestly everything he said are things I have been taught growing up, and this is something I’ll address in another post because I have a lot of things to say about it. But just know that I adore the development Patton has been going through and watching him grow and mature. 

Oh yes, I must mention I was pleasantly surprised to see Logan. I didn’t think he’d show up in this episode, or at the very least have a brief appearance, but I love how he took part and by far the funniest part in this episode (to me) is when he had so much to say in one little post that it popped up and hit Patton in the nose. It was one of the few moments where I laughed out loud and I rewound it a few times on my first viewing. 

Plus Thomas being more concerned about the blinds than Patton. My type of humor. And Roman actually gets to use his sword for once, good for him! 

(Funny enough as I typed this the video got to that part at the exact same time so I got a nice little laugh again) 

Which brings up my next point: Logan getting yoinked after Patton skips his dialogue. No one talks about how he does his little impression of that philosopher, am I the only one who found that utterly adorable? 

Let Logan geek out over philosophers please. He clearly loves it so much. 

Then we get to Roman believing he’s the one responsible for everything, wanting to give up the driver’s seat to Patton. And just… This exchange of dialogue:

Thomas: “Roman, I only mean well when I say…” Thomas: “That that is the stupidest thing you have ever said.” Roman: “Oh Thomas, you’re just blowing smoke.” 

I don’t know why I enjoy this so much but I do. Give me more of this. I crave it now.

And I just need to make a whole post about Patton in this video, there is so much to unpack with him alone.

Looking back and noticing that Thomas only starts listening to Logan after he’s been replaced by Deceit kinda hurts. 

Speaking of which, can we appreciate how much better Deceit has gotten at impersonating Logan? Looks like he took Roman’s advice and focused on the little things. Good for him. 

Alright, one of my absolute favorite parts from this episode and where things really start to shine: Patton freaks out and turns into a giant frog because he’s so desperate to have an answer for them he flips and honestly, sounds a little crazy. Which, I don’t know why but I find it both menacing and hilarious at the same time? 

Also the fact he turns into a frog because he was talking about Frogger earlier, nice touch! (And Lilypadton that’s so cute) 

Then we get probably the single greatest character entrance in the history of character entrances. We find out that Deceit finally reveals himself and steps in to stand up to Patton and get him to see how his actions have been having a negative effect on Thomas. 

The way his voice changes from Logan’s to his own, his music kicking in, “The Lord of the Lies” oh my gosh it’s all just perfect! Also Roman’s “Reptilian Rapscallion! Reptilian Rapscallion! We’ve got a code yellow!” 

And if I may: Roman: “What have you done with Logan?!” Deceit: “Nothing at all and I resent the question.” 

WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM YOU SNEK?! 

(in all honest probably nothing but what if) 

Important to note here that Roman instantly begins defending Patton from Deceit as soon as he accuses him of misleading Thomas. This goes to show just how much Roman views him as a villain. Or in other words: Patton, good. Deceit, bad. A viewpoint he continues to hold onto until the end of the episode, which also deserves it’s entire post because we all know how much turbulence that caused within the fandom. 

And to the observant eye, you’ll notice that the cane (or staff) Deceit uses is the same one that dragged Logan off screen. 

Frog puns. That is all.

I just, I love Deceit’s dialogue throughout this scene. It’s stuff I need to hear and tell myself on a regular basis. And I’d honestly rewatch this part (along with the rest of what Deceit and Logan say later on in the video) because it’s all something I need to also teach myself. But this ain’t meant to be a personal post so I’ll just move on. 

Deceit’s walk towards the camera. I don’t know why. It’s so smooth. He’s amazing. I love him. Snek… 

I have problems don’t @ me. 

Also no one is mentioning the reference to that one “Turn based rpg” short that Thomas made with his friends and I find that sad because it’s a neat and fitting reference given the theme of this video. Also earlier on when the trolley problem is first brought up all the people on the bottom track are Thomas’ friends. Another neat little detail, though sadly, their digital selves perished. 

PETER SINGER 

Logan doesn’t seem to like Deceit much, not outright hate him or anything, but it’s more like he just tolerates him but doesn’t seek to get on good terms with him. Which is a shame because as both parts of SVS have proven, these two have the capacity to work together. Which is why I hope Logan gets a debate episode with him as well because out of all the Sides, these two have interacted the least and that needs to be remedied (especially when they’re my two favorites) 

Deceit is trying to make Roman understand, but he’s so caught up in this black and white thinking that he disregards everything Deceit says! Why? Because the last time he tried to hear Deceit out he was reprimanded. (In other words, I relate to Roman so much in this that it hits a little too close to home and I’m definitely making a separate post about this. 

Deceit: *confused* Trees? And I’m so glad I found out I’m not the only dunce who thought Deceit’s name was going to be written on his hand… 

But seriously this whole moment, with the buildup, Deceit’s reluctance to share his name, the music, I’d put it up there with Virgil’s “I was one of them” for best Sanders Sides scenes.

Also, Deceit’s name is Janus! I was a little iffy about it at first, but since I didn’t ever really have a prediction for his name, I wasn’t disappointed and the name is growing on me. 

And then, the moment of trust is immediately ruined by Roman laughing. Dude, come on. (again though, post for another time because I understand where Roman is coming from here)

In all seriousness though I just love the last bits of this episode. The emotion, the angst, it doesn’t hold back and I appreciate the team taking things a step further than normal. Usually, moments like this are followed up by a joke to play it off, but they don’t do that after Roman sinks out. They stay in the moment until it’s had time to sink in. I wish the episode had ended a little more somberly, but I think this is a good step in the right direction. Showing that there won’t always be a 100% happy conclusion to things. Sometimes you need to take time in between to figure things out. 

This line: “Do you think there’s a limit to how many times someone can say sorry before you have to admit that they’re just bad for you?” This line is so important to me within the context of the episode and outside of it. I won’t get too personal but I will say that I was raised to believe that if a person wronged me in any way, that if they said sorry, I had to forgive them. Even if they did the same thing over and over and over again. As long as they apologize, you have to forgive them and move on. And that has messed me up in so many different ways, especially when those people are family. 

Janus sums it up best with “It depends” because yes, some people make the same mistakes again and again. But there’s a difference between someone trying to change and accidentally falling back on old habits, and someone taking advantage of your “forgiveness” that they continue to do those hurtful things because they know they can get away with it and not have to change. 

Also, while it’s totally fine for people to dislike Patton, I can’t understand how anyone could watch this episode and claim that he’s still the same as he was at the beginning of SVS Part One because he has changed. He has finally realized just how much he’s been hurting Thomas, and even Roman. He sinks out at the end to apologize to him, he recognizes his faults, and he’s seeking to make amends. He wants to do the right thing here, and keep in mind that recently a lot of his views (which are also Thomas’ views) have been flipped on their heads and they both need to rethink some things. It’s part of growing up and becoming your own person. 

I need to make a whole post about the more personal things that I got from the last three episodes (excluding Asides) because there’s just so many important things these episodes teach and I feel the need to address them. 

Also everyone sleeping on the fact that Leslie Odom Jr. just casually makes an appearance and attempts to start a pilot episode for his own series “Odom Sides” which I wish him luck on. He just wants to be in the room where it happens. 

Everything Patton did was for Thomas, so he wouldn’t be left in the dark again. He promised to keep fighting but ultimately, ended up fighting himself. Am I deep yet?

“Those imperfections don’t make you any less worthy of love” can you tell how much this episode means to me yet? 

Janus’ “I’ll take care of him.” Ack, he just cares so much… My gosh… Where did this character come from and what did he do with the slimy boi? (I mean that in two different ways)

Oh, there he is. That’s my boi. 

“There are smarter ways to get people to do what you want anyway.” “There are much less barbaric, much more fun, forms of sabotage.” 

Parallels? Maybe? What the heck I love Janus whether he’s encouraging Thomas to look after his mental health or plot his schemes in the shadows. Do I trust Janus? Oh heck no, of course not. There is something suspicious going on here and I both love it and hate it. More on that in a different post though.

“You’re not stuck with an evil snake boi. You’re just stuck with a snek boi.” 

Yes Thomas, continue to overthink every little issue until it results in a mental breakdown. Hm, sounds like what someone with anxiety does… I suppose that’s why this series exists. 

Okay call me a bad person but I almost always space out during Thomas’ messages to the viewers at the end of the videos. I don’t know why but I cannot focus on them to save my life and usually end up skipping past them to get to the end card. I dunno, maybe because it takes me out of the moment? Especially during episodes where they don't’ address the audience at all and then suddenly “Oh yeah! This is a Youtube series lol” it just feels out of place in more story driven episodes like this one. 

Okay am I the only one that’s kinda creeped out by Lee and Mary Lee? I dunno they just seem, off. Like if they were characters in a horror movie they’d be that overly nice couple that turn out to be the killers. Those are the vibes they give me. Maybe it’s because I have zero people skills due to being homeschooled all my life and the only social interaction I get is with coworkers so I dunno. They still creep me out. They creep me out more than Remus. And he legit freaked me out for a bit before he stole my heart. (I suppose this means I need to make a separate post about these two because I do have some opinions about whether or not it was a good idea to actually include them at the end. When I said I had too many thoughts about this episode I meant it)

And if the end card is any indication, I’m going to assume that the Sides are invisible to everyone except Thomas. Unless they’re just “observing” and not even Thomas can see them at this point, given he shows no indication of seeing or hearing them there. Maybe they get to choose when they’re visible? Or Thomas does? I dunno, the rules of this universe have never been clearly stated and are inconsistent. 

I didn’t expect Patton to be the first to accept Janus, and I’m kinda glad I was proven wrong. It does seem fitting with Patton’s growth and I liked their little moment at the end. 

And that wraps up my commentary. I hope you found something in this mess of, things. I plan to go more in depth with my separate posts which I’m going to have fun writing, so be on the lookout for those! 

Also at the time of writing this I now have 63 followers?! Thank y’all so much! I never thought this blog would get this far and I’m so glad it did because I’m having a lot of fun with it and hope to bring out more content regularly! Again, thank you!!

[swearronchanel]

9.05

 🎶Do re mi fa so time for me to talk my nonsense..🎶

THE HILLS ARE ALIVE TONIGHT AND SO AM I I!! even tho it’s actually 3pm here LMAO *SINGS* LETSSS START FROM THE VERY BEGININNGGGGG

I’m so ready for the sound of music content LESS GOO

wow just kidding it’s starting off so sad😭

“there are moments when life seems to pause” felt that

I’m glad to see Sister MJ is there with Sister J tho 😭

“They gave all they had, all that they were.”

Tim!! He’s so grown omg

really Patrick? eat a damn pancake

“I love Julie Andrews” WHO DOESNT?? QUEEN!

LMAO Phyllis 😂 but even Phyllis stans!

OMG Sister Mj skipping, so pure I love her 😂

Violet should just rig the raffle we know Sister Mj deserves to go ! She wants it so badly

LMAOO “I’ll pin an I.O.U”

SISTER MONICA JOAN ILL TAKE YOU TO THE MOVIES DAMN IT!

We better hear what Sister Frances has to say about the movie

“I demand that you acknowledge it” me to the ctm writers about the sound of music for the last 4 years 😂😂 tbh me to the writers about EVERYTHING

“Frivolous and inappropriate” ugh Sister J pull the stick out your ass you know God purposely blessed the world with Dame Julie Andrews, also how can you hurt Sister MJ like that?

Aww no words from Cyril

“Have I told you lately that I love you?” STOP I WILL CRY

Judy Parfait is literally a gem, I want to hug her

Oof Cheryl that hurt

“You’re taking them to see an escalator?” LMFAO MS HIGGINS IS A SUBTLE SAVAGE

oh no what’s wrong with mrs calthorpe

Sister Hilda giving a class to fathers? Love to see it😂 give her more screen time though

LOOK AT YOUNG JULIE ON THE COVER😭😍 bow down to the TRUE queen of england

A DR SPOCK BOOK! WHERE’S SHELAGH ? 😂 also remember the Rugrats version? Dr Lipshitz LMAO

“The jungle drum’s been banging” 😂😂 word travels fast on the mean streets of poplar

Why is she bleeding??

This guy is so nervous 😂 it’s cute though

Sister Hilda can’t stand crying in public? She obviously didn’t go to university bc my bitch ass can cry ANYWHERE now LMAO 😅🔫

Val’s dress? Cute

A NONNATUS HOUSE TRIP PLS

Trixie looks great as always! Also can’t believe they mentioned her God mother in Portofino! You know how people disappear from their lives *cough cough Trixie’s brother for example*

Aye the Den is my favorite bar too 😂😂

Phyllis is annoyed but still giving him a chance, what a brick

Sister Frances is such a recycled Sister Winnifred and it’s a shame, make her more unique

Val knows how tough ladies had to be/still are

Aww the dad is crying, how sweet🥺

Tickety boo and marvelous! WHERE in the world is MRS CHUMMY NOAKES?! I Miss her rip, Miranda Hart is funny af

ugh this so so heartbreaking😭

“Nurse Turner” 🥺 that was cute

SISTER MJ WANTS THIS SO BAD LMAO GIVE IT TO HER VIOLET!!

Now Sister Frances will take over and they’ll warm up to her, like one of the earlier Jenny storylines I remember from season 1 right?

Is it the strawberry or angel mark? whatever people call it

omg grace’s mom, I’m legit gonna cry this one hurts

poor grace is going to wear herself thin, sister Frances help out

get out omg she better not stick her head in the oven

“How you’re invisible...” 😭 damn that hurt

backstory unlocked for sister Hilda ✅  give us more now

“Doris day as another, que sera, sera” LOVE TO HEAR THAT FROM PHYLLIS UGH give me lessons only through pop culture lol

SISTER J and SISTER B PARALLELS

HOLY SHIT SHE TOOK OFF THE HABIT AND WHIMPLE I DIDNT EXPECT THIS?!

SISTER MJ NOTICED HER

SISTER JULIENNE WENT TO SEE THE MOVIE I CAN NOT RIGHT NOW THIS IS AMAZING

“Have you lost May and Angela?” I LOVE MS HIGGINS LMAO

Tim is only back just to play babysitter again LMAO

But Shelagh and Patrick are going to see their counter parts soon MARIA AND GEORG WE LOVE

SHelagh just tell him COME HOME!

Oh no Grace!! 😭

The Turners having a TV dinner who would’ve thought LMAO lean cuisine baby

Angela speaks AGAIN wheww that’s still shocking. The girls are so adorable though

Trixie’s right don’t dismiss some vanity! But shes so much more that though UGH

Sister MJ found a new owl😭

Sister Hilda is for sure underrated

Even though Trixie is my fav and was hardly in this episode: dare I say this has been the best ep this season??  

“What makes night within us may leave stars” wow

OF COURSE THE FILM RESONATED WITH YOU GUYS !!! DUHHH

“Your voice touched my soul” GET TF OUT THE TURNERS ARE NEVER ROMANTIC THIS IS SWEET AS FUCK

NO BUT SERIOUSLY THEY ARE SEXLESS?!

“We’ll always have Columbia road” STOP OMG

that literally made me love the Turners again, TBH I was over them for the last few seasons but as of right now I’m back on the damn bandwagon beep beep bitches

SISTER J IS GONNA USE THAT MONEY AND TAKE THE WHOLE HOUSE TO SEE THE SOUND OF MUSIC

“Closest thing to edelweiss” Patrick should’ve broke out into song but no offense he was right he isn’t Christopher Plummer 😂😛

THIS IS THE PUREST THING

ALSO THE GIRLS LOOK GREAT

“The world shifts around us and we shape ourselves to fit. Imperfect and beautiful...” 💖

[twdmusicboxmystery]

TWD 10x11: Morning Star - First Thoughts

What did everyone think of the episode? I thought it was fantabulous, of course. No major surprises, but I really loved it. Really a beautiful episode.

I know they said it would end on a cliffhanger, so we were expecting that, but we honestly didn’t get into ANY of the action until about the last five minutes of the episode. It sort of reminded me of Coda that way. Not in the story, of course. Just in the format.

As always, here are my first thoughts. The things that jumped out at me on first-watch. Tomorrow, I’ll do details.

***As always, spoilers abound for 10x11 below. Don’t read until you’ve watched! You’ve been warned!***

1) Eugene and Stephanie (girl on the radio) talk about the satellites and shooting stars (I’ll talk more about those and the clock behind Eugene tomorrow), but they kind of had a very mini Beth template here. When she hears Rosita’s voice on the radio and won’t talk to him, she disappears and he gets depressed. Then, after he sings, Stephanie comes back. She says, “I’m sorry I disappeared on you for a while.” Sounds like something Beth might say, no? So, while there was no death fake out, she did disappear for a short time before coming back.

And that made me kind of re-evaluate other things. For example, when Eugene realizes she saw the satellite, he gets really happy because he realizes they must not be that great a distance apart. And he tells her that falling satellite is what spurred him to call out on the radio to begin with. In other words, the satellite is the only reason they met/he found her. So if he leads to Beth in any way, the same will be true of Beth and Daryl. Just a thought.

2) Stephanie tells Eugene where and when to meet her. This REALLY jumped out at me, guys, and I’ll probably have to explain why, because it’s not something I’ve focused on too much in my posts. Stephanie says Charleston, West Virginia at some rail yards. The rail yards first caught my ear because train tracks were such a big part of Beth’s story line in S4/S5. (I’m wondering if the train tracks in 5x09 were a hint at WHERE Beth would appear?) But Charleston WV is also at the confluence of 2 rivers. The Kanawha (probably a native American word) and the Elk. (ELK! DEER!)

It also made me think of a specific line that me and my fellow theorists still discuss a lot. Back in 7x06, when Tara snuck into Oceanside, she hears two women talking about someone who was searching for something and went all the way to “the mouth” (we assume of a river). There was also a serious/Sirius reference thrown in.

We’ve always felt like that was significant, but its significance has never been explained in the show. Maybe what they were saying right then in the moment wasn’t super important, but I’m betting it foreshadowed Stephanie’s group, and where Eugene is going to go. They are literally sitting at the mouths (sort of ) of two rivers, and guess what those two rivers make when they cross? You guessed it: an X. (X Theory)

Now, granted, this may be where Stephanie is meeting Eugene, rather than where her people actually live, but still. I’m super excited about this. I’ll talk about it more later. For the record, this doesn’t feel like this is the Commonwealth to me. And I’m not saying the Commonwealth won’t be coming into the story very soon. I just think this particular thing is something different.

3) Several scenes reminded me of Still. First there was Lydia and Carol talking on the porch. Just the way they were sitting was reminiscent of Still. But they were also having an honest heart to heart.  Then there was Rosita and Eugene. They had a heart to heart as well, which even involved romance, and they were drinking alcohol. So lots of callbacks to Still here.

I will say that the thing Lydia talked about with Carol—about how everyone has forgotten how to tell the truth—is a theme for the episode. This is a situation where they’re all pretty convinced they’re gonna die, so everyone is brutally honest with one another. Sometimes it’s harsh, but others it’s really touching (i.e. Daryl/Judith, Daryl/Zeke, Zeke/Carol, etc.)

4) The scene where Judith gives Daryl the vest is the best thing EVER!!! Even before she shows him the vest, it’s super sweet and honest and just beautiful. I just want to watch it over and over again.

And there’s an echo of Beth at the moonshine shack in it. They talk about being afraid and he tells her there’s no shame in being afraid. So it’s different than S4 because of what Beth taught him. *heart melting*

Even the scene where Daryl and Carol talk by the graves…is honestly very sweet. I laughed and commented about how dejected the shippers seemed by it. The spoilers said, “that’s it,” when it came to Daryl and Carol’s interaction, and made it sound like Daryl was still mad at her in this scene.

But it was a really touching scene between them. Different than the way they brought it across. It’s a really lovely scene about friendship and forgiveness, even  though it’s only about 30 seconds long. Leave it to shippers to bash it because Carol and Daryl don’t have sex in it. 🙄

Back to the Judith/Daryl/Vest scene. There is tons of green hanging out in that scene, which made me happy. I’ll talk more about colors and such tomorrow. And how cute was it that RJ wore the vest earlier in the episode. It was so long on him, it practically dragged on the ground. *heart melting *

But the thing I really saw significant symbolism in is how Daryl puts the vest on. When Judith presents it to him, he kind of swings it up over his head and puts it on. It just felt really significant. Like it’s been mostly gone for a long time and he hasn’t been wearing it. Now he is again. And they would only do that when Beth is about to arrive or something.

5) The portraits. While we do see Beth’s and Hershel’s clearly, I felt like there was a big emphasis on Glenn. After Carol walks out, the camera zooms in on Glenn’s portrait until it’s the only one we can see for a second. 

And right after that Carol goes out to talk to Daryl at the graves. Honestly, he’s probably looking at Glenn’s grave. I’m not sure why that is, but it probably has to do with Maggie’s imminent return. I have more to say about this, but it doesn’t have anything to do with this episode, so I’ll address it later. Suffice it to say, I think Glenn will somehow have a huge bearing on the show in the next little bit. I’m not sure how. And no, I don’t think he’s secretly alive or anything. I’m just reading symbolism. More on that later.

6) So I’ve been telling my fellow theorists that this is feeling more and more like a replay of 4b. I think the fall of Hilltop will mirror the fall of the prison, and chances are a lot of the characters are going to scatter into the woods and be divided into little groups. That’s only important because of what it’s setting up moving forward. And how it might point to Beth, of course. ;D Maybe I’ll do more predictions later in the week if I get time. Think of it this way: in 4b, the season ended at Terminus (train yard). And now Eugene is set to go meet Stephanie at a train yard. Just saying.

7) In the scene where Zeke and Daryl talk, there’s a part that made me laugh out loud because it was so obviously put in purposely. Daryl scratches his forehead and in doing so moves his hair off his forehead and we get a crystal clear shot of his forehead scar. The one from where Alpha cut him. Like, when does he EVER move his hair out of his eyes? And while yes, it is a knife wound rather than a bullet wound, and it’s on the opposite side, as we said before, it’s at the EXACT height on his forehead that Beth was shot at.

8) And how much does this final shot just LOOK like Still?

So those were the big things that jumped out at me. In short, we’re seeing more Bethyl templates around Eugene, and I have a really good feeling about him going to meet Stephanie. If you need a reminder, it will be the place they filmed at Grady hospital for. So there’s already going to be a lot of parallels. But I feel like a lot of things are pointing to this being where Beth shows up. *fingers crossed* And I also feel like they’re setting this war story line up a lot like 4b, and that’s a good thing.

Many more details to come. Stay tuned!

[onwardintolight]

Han x Leia, ESB, Trip to Bespin, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff

Summary: ESB from Leia's POV. A journey from despair to hope, a blossoming, an opening to vulnerability and love.

Warnings: Deals with some heavy themes, incl. working through trauma, depression, self-harm, attempted sexual assault. Each chapter will be individually warned.

Note: I’m currently in the process of reposting the first nine chapters here in full, since when I first wrote this fic, I only shared links to the chapters on AO3 and FFN. I will try to post at least weekly. In the meantime, if you’d prefer to binge-read it, the entire fic is posted in full on AO3 and FFN.

Part: Masterlist | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | Epilogue

~~~

Soft, blue light bathed the cockpit of the Falcon in an eerie glow. It flickered on and off with a distinctive click.

Nothing. There’s nothing.

Leia had known what she would find as soon as she sat down in front of the astrogation display; she had scanned the nearby solar systems for alternate destinations three times today already. But something kept propelling her to look again.

Threepio had woken up from his self-induced sleep earlier that day, relaying the Falcon’s message that they had just entered the gravitational influence of Bespin’s star. 

They had one more day.

The dream had come back every night, relentless. Han knew when it happened now. She’d wake up panting in fear and curl herself into him, and he’d wrap an arm around her and kiss her forehead, whispering that it wasn’t real.

But it felt so real, and Leia couldn’t convince herself it wasn’t, no matter what the rational side of her brain told her. Dread filled her when she thought of Bespin now. Surely there was some way to change their course; avoid whatever disaster was ahead. Surely there was somewhere else that they could go.

There wasn’t, and their supplies wouldn’t last them long enough to get anywhere else, now, even if there had been.

But she still checked anyway.

It wasn’t only the dream that had her on edge. The closer they crept towards the gas giant and its supposed refuge in the clouds, the more she became aware that no matter what, her time with Han was running short.

Soon, he’d be gone. Would what had grown between them be gone, too?

For a long time after the astrogation display was turned off, she sat in the cockpit, staring motionlessly at the twisting tunnel of light outside.

*****

“Leia?”

She sat up straight, startled out of her thoughts.

“There you are. You gonna come eat with Chewie n’ me?”

She slumped again. “Go ahead. I’ll be there soon.”

Truth was, she wasn’t hungry, and she didn’t feel like socializing. She didn’t feel like sitting here accomplishing nothing, either, but her universe wasn’t exactly teeming with choices right now.

Han’s consternation was so loud that she didn’t have to see his face to know it was there. “You okay?” he asked.

“I’m just….” She grimaced, giving up on trying to find the words. “I’m not hungry.”

“Still thinking about that dream, aren’t you?” He came up behind her and began rubbing her shoulders. “I think you just need to chill out. Worrying about it won’t help anything.”

Leia whirled on him. “You think I just need to chill out? Well, why didn’t you tell me before? That would have fixed everything!”

He winced. “Leia, I—”

“No matter what, things are going to change after we get there, and I can’t do a damn thing about it.” Her voice was cold. “Of course I’m worried.”

Han opened his mouth to retort, but then his eyes softened and he seemed to think better of it. “Sorry, sweetheart. That was a dumb thing to say.”

Leia’s shoulders sagged, deflated from the fight that hadn’t come. For a moment they stood there looking at each other awkwardly. Then Han held out his arms as if they were a peace offering. With a sudden rush of need she stepped into them, feeling the comfort of those arms wrapping around her, stroking her hair, massaging her back. She willed away the sudden tears that loomed like storm clouds. Right now, she was afraid that if she let the rain come, it would never stop.

Han kissed the top of her head. “We’ll figure it out together,” he murmured. Leia closed her eyes and tried to believe that everything would be all right.

*****

Han put on some music again after dinner. It was jovial and upbeat, unlike Leia’s mood. She watched, amusement slowly beginning to thread through her worry, as he and Chewie joined hands and boisterously danced around the main hold. They seemed to have formed a conspiracy to make her laugh. To her surprise, she was starting to think it might actually work.

“Oh dear!” Threepio exclaimed, clearly appalled as the pair clattered into a few of the canisters and tools that had been left on the floor. Finally, with a triumphant roar, Chewie lifted Han and deposited him unceremoniously on the floor by the dejarik table.

“Hey!” said Han, pretending to be affronted.

Ignoring him, Chewie turned to her and gallantly offered her his paw. After a split second’s hesitation, she smiled and took it.

To hell with anxiety anyway.

Chewie led her in the same lively dance. Apparently it was a Wookiee favorite, though he explained he’d toned it down quite a bit so as not to hurt his human companions. «The Rhaggghhwr,» he called it. Leia turned to Han for elucidation, but Threepio beat him to it.

“The Wiggle-Hop,” the droid translated pompously. That did make her laugh.

Chewie swept her across the room. Several times, he tossed her up in the air and caught her—not high enough so as to be alarming or make her lose her balance, but enough to give her a thrill of delight. She found herself laughing even more. By the time he tossed her one last time and set her down—a bit more gently than he had Han, and on the dejarik bench, this time—she was completely out of breath, a grin plastered on her face.

“That…” she panted out between breaths, “was… fabulous.”

Chewbacca gave a little flourish.

“So,” she said wryly, leaning back against the seat cushion, “apparently you’re both dancers, and you never told me. I wonder what other talents you’re hiding?”

The Wookiee folded his arms and gave a little shake of his mane. «On Kashyyyk, I was known for my remarkable singing voice.»

“Trust me,” Han said in a mock whisper, “you do not want to hear it.”

“Come on, Han, can it be any worse than yours?”

“Hey, you haven’t even heard my voice!”

“Then who was singing along to The Bloodstripes earlier?” She grinned.

«Perhaps you were hearing my agghghgra reuughhh!» Chewie declared jovially.

Han extended a pointer finger towards Chewie. “Your ‘tones’ aren’t ‘illustrious,’ pal, not by a long shot.” He turned back to Leia and smirked, putting his hands on his hips. “I suppose your royal-high-and-mightiness can do better? I say we hear and decide for ourselves! Whaddya say, Chewie?”

The Wookiee roared his agreement.

“Okay,” Leia reluctantly conceded, raising an eyebrow. “But only if you two take a turn, as well.”

«Deal!» Chewie trumpeted.

“All right, all right.” Han threw up his hands, though clearly he wasn’t at all upset about this turn of events. “You first, Princess.”

Leia stood up, considering her options. She settled on a song from her childhood; it was simple and lovely, and—as it was a lullaby—easy to sing a cappella.

“Mirrorbright shines the moon,” she began, “its glow as soft as an ember. When the moon is mirrorbright, take this time to remember.”

She closed her eyes as she sang. She thought of her mother’s soft voice lulling her to sleep as a young child, of the Alderaanian constellations shining in through her bedroom window, of the distant tinkling of the south terrace air sculpture floating in on the night breeze. She tried not to think too much about the words themselves, and what they meant now, after… after the end.

“….Mirrorbright shines the moon, as fires die to their embers. Those you loved are with you still—the moon will help you remember.”

She opened her eyes. The room was silent for a moment, then Han and Chewie erupted into applause.

“Kriffin’ hell, Leia. You should sing more often!”

“Why, Mistress Leia, I was not aware that your voice was so sonorous! And what a lovely song!”

«You will put us all to shame, little Princess!»

Leia blushed at their enthusiasm. She had never had much voice training, and she was well aware that there was plenty of room for improvement… but their praise was encouraging. Maybe she should take time to sing more often.

Chewbacca was up next, sharing a ballad from his homeworld. Leia found Wookiee singing to be very interesting, if not entirely enjoyable. The scale was like nothing she’d ever heard, and at times it seemed like he was warbling two or three notes all at once. All the same, she was relieved when it was over. Technically impressive or not, the clashing tones of the ballad made her struggle not to cringe.

Han took the easy way out when it was his turn, choosing to sing along to a Grondorn Muse song. His voice, while even less trained than hers, was low and smooth and generally pleasant. She laughed as he hammed it up for them, plucking at an imaginary instrument. “When it’s just you and the stars, with an old bottle o’ booze, singing those old spacer blues!” he crooned, drawing the last note out with relish. He bowed grandiosely at their applause.

When their laughter and cheers had died down, Threepio piped up. “If I may, I have a song to share as well.” He was already striding to replace Han in the middle of the floor.

Han and Leia exchanged a quick look. Oh great, she thought, but just as quickly she scolded herself. She had wanted to treat Threepio better and include him—to a reasonable extent—in their goings-on, and this seemed as good a time as any to start.

“As you know,” he continued, “I am fluent in over six million forms of communication. One of the languages and cultures I am fortunate enough to be familiar with is that of the Lekhar. Their etiquette prescribes that upon greeting fellow Lekhari, they sing a greeting song, one of which I will sing to you now. I think it is rather delightful.”

With that, the droid launched into song. His voice, while a bit tinny, was quite agreeable, and before long Leia found herself lost in the strange syllables and wistful tune. It was longer than she expected a greeting to be, but she guessed from her own experience with languages that this was probably the formal version, and that the Lekhari had a short version for more everyday occurrences.

“Damn, Goldenrod,” Han said once the droid had finished, “you’re not too bad of a singer yourself. And I gotta admit, that was kind of interesting.”

Leia smiled, pleased at Han’s kindness.

The music didn’t end after Threepio. Han and Chewie took to the floor again to sing along to another old Corellian ballad. Then she and Han tried their hand at a duet, and then all of them, including the droid, joined in belting out a classic by Hyperspaze and the Jump Lanes.

It was unexpected and fun and wonderful. Occasionally, Leia remembered the foreboding creeping at the back of her mind, the incongruity jolting her. She felt vaguely guilty for having a good time.

Later, as she clapped along to another musical number courtesy of the Captain and the Wookiee, she paused, the thought hitting her like a ton of duracrete: she couldn’t be so afraid of losing any of this that she forgot to enjoy it.

Joy drives out fear.

The old Alderaanian proverb echoed in her mind. Her anxiety was never wholly gone, and she knew it would soon return in full force, but laughter, friendship, love—these things helped. She could fight the darkness with delight.

What’s more, she realized, these moments of beauty and happiness would always be real. They’d always be with her in some way, because she had experienced them. Loss could take away so much, that was true, but it couldn’t erase these moments any more than losing her planet had erased the precious memories of her beloved family and world.

I need to have more hope, she thought. Not hope based on unfounded optimism, but hope based on this—that joy and goodness would always be real, no matter what may come.

As she watched Chewie and Han belt out the last tenuous notes of their duet, a strange sense of peace washed over her, mingling with the merriment of the moment. Grabbing hold of it with everything she had, she smiled.

~

~

~

Notes:

"Fight back darkness with delight" is a line from a Tenth Avenue North song, Cathedrals. That line struck me like a revelation a few months ago right before I wrote this, and it caused a shift in my own perspective similar to Leia's in this chapter. As always, I write so much out of my own personal journey, and this is just one of many examples of how I was able to take a lesson I was learning and express it through my writing. I hope it encourages others, too. You can't paint over the pain with joy, but joy—and delights both big and small—can be a mighty weapon in the fight.

Also: A thousand thanks to Claudia Gray for Mirrorbright, the proverb, and for inspiring so many other things in this story <3

[rkmason]

 ▰▰▰▰▰▰ MNET GLOBAL AUDITIONS, SEASON 5 ˟  EP. 4 PERFORMANCE ▰▰▰▰▰▰

the paint feels thicker this week, the air is thinner, and he smiles through it all the way he knows best. because the time to be upset about everything isn’t when they’re waiting to go on stage; it isn’t when they’re practicing for the next duo stage, and it isn’t now whenever he looks over at seunghun as people come on, greet each other, and prepare in whatever way they know best. for minho, he prefers socializing, despite how strained it feels once results come out. he knows last week didn’t feel easy, but he’s gonna make it seem that way right? he’s gotta stay himself and the truth is, instead of letting the win go to his head, he thinks of all the ways it could affect his new partner, nakyung as his former partner, and the others, especially those who think it’s unfair that an ex-idol is participating. while he’s shrouded in red because of the past two weeks, he thinks of the other labels he wears just by being here, just by existing in this space, on this competition.

he thinks about the ceos that have had him in their company already and why haven’t they gotten him kicked out yet. but he likes to think better of them. he likes to think that hyunbin probably sees now that minho didn’t quite fit in at nova and that baek jiyoung understands that he couldn’t give up the name of his girlfriend— or maybe this is his punishment for it. to be more publicly scrutinized than he was. to build him up higher so he can fall. his sister kept insisting it was a valid option. she didn’t think he should’ve signed up and it reminds him of sunmi’s reaction too, asking him why he signed up but the truth is he didn’t think he had to answer. he didn’t think he would need to, because the reason why is simple: he still wants to be on stage.

that’s selfish, it’s true. because he was on stage, because he was in a group, but, in the end, he couldn’t give up everything to stay there. is he so wrong for wanting to do it more on terms he likes? is he so wrong when he knows others before him who have done the same? left a company because of one term, one rule? because there were lines he drew and he couldn’t cross it. is that wrong of him? maybe it is, but he’d be damned if anyone tried saying he isn’t trying to learn and be better every day.

    ●●●●●●      LAST WEEK, ON THE THIRD EPISODE OF MGA S5 — 7월 11일      ●●●●●●

part of him feels greedy this week— greedy because it had originally been guilt, selfishness, whatever else he called it, whatever else it was and changed from— because he got to perform, he had fun, and he genuinely thinks it was one of the best performances he’s given in a while [because freedom while performing is something that’s underrated and overlooked but he had it; they had it], yet he wants another stage, another chance. he wants to perform again. he wants to be on stage again, he wants to see nakyung perform again too whether it’s with or without him the next time. he wants to keep going and he forgets about everything else whenever they’re waiting.

it’s relieving, to be able to let go of all of it, the past, the future, everything but right now.

but he doesn’t expect it again. he doesn’t expect to be called up again, at least not for this. he feared the opposite, being called up to be eliminated, but top 3 again? it’s too good to be true and he’s right back to it, right back to that dumb joke about his palms being sweaty and while he wants to laugh, his mind’s gone blank, and thank the heavens he’s conscientious enough of himself not to reach out and take nakyung’s hand because she’s got to be feeling nervous too right?

thinking of the performances that led all of them up there, the six of them waiting for the verdict, he can’t stop focusing on how different each one was. different moods, different vibes, just so different, and he’s back to wondering how the judges can even decide, can determine one is better than the other. he’s not envious of it, that’s for sure.

this itself feels like a type of punishment. he feels damned if they win, damned if they don’t. if they do, he doesn’t want to even think about the comments, about the contempt waiting nakyung more than him— ever since the duo concept was announced, he keeps thinking, it’s fine if it’s him. it’s fine if the negative commentary falls on him, but when it falls on his partner, he feels like it’s his fault and he doesn’t know if that feeling will fully go away. he hopes it does, wishes it could, but he thinks a connection to him right now is gonna end in pain in the long run.

[that, too, is one of the reasons he believed mijoo should’ve just broken up with him before. how long— no, that’s another rabbit hole. what’s with him and chasing those? alice isn’t even his favorite story or disney movie]

if they don’t win... he’s scared what the greed will turn into. envy, jealousy, those emotions he tried to never feel in childhood. he thought they would ruin him without understanding that being afraid of them was nearly just as bad. if they don’t win... would nakyung blame herself? because some people act like he’s a golden boy, like he’s an automatic winner, and it feels like a curse the more he reads or hears it.

when he hears their names, he gets that surreal feeling again, doubt nestles into the depths of his mind and he has half a mind to ask tiger jk to say that again— which is another fact he’s astounded by, it’s tiger jk telling him this and he feels smaller than he did in his first trc audition years ago. he wonders if the ceo remembers, if he recalls the cocky kid that came in and started rapping to his own song, but minho would believe it more if tiger jk forgot because he’s a dime a dozen back then. now, he likes to think he isn’t. now, he likes to think his name carries more weight, maybe too much, he ponders as he looks to nakyung, unable to help himself when he hugs her tightly. he’s more amazed by her small frame again and he has to laugh at how right tiger jk’s words were— they used their differences to their advantage and he’ll probably think of her as a cat from now on, just not in the she’s a furry sense, that’s too much for him. wouldn’t be fair to her either, although he doesn’t judge if s— that’s all besides the point.

for now, he lets himself be happy, grinning widely and giving himself this moment. everyone else’s reactions can wait— he’ll be greedy a little longer, let himself have this a little longer. a high title is a blessing and a curse; for now, all he feels is the bliss that comes with the blessing.

he’s still on cloud nine when he tries looking for his new partner, recalling the performance he gave with his previous partner vividly once he spots him. that’s right, spicy pork. now that he thinks about it again, he’s hungry just like he was earlier when they introduced themselves. it was cute, clever, but the hunger pain was a little too real and he’s hoping seunghun won’t say no when he invites him out to eat.

“is it too weird if i say i wanna get some spicy pork?”

the night goes by well and they end up going to karaoke somehow— he says somehow but the truth is minho loves going to noraebang to get to know someone. there’s just something different about getting to know someone’s taste through their karaoke song choices instead of talking about favorite songs and artists. for people aspiring to also be artists, it says a lot about the style you like, that you either think you can pull off amazingly or think you can only pull off in a karaoke room.

minho’s only problem is stopping because he has no shame trying any song. ask him to and he’ll sing songs like ain’t no mountain high enough, reflection, and that one song where there’s no line but tequila. that one’s just amazing. he’s surprised no one’s done it for the mgas yet. come on, it’s just magic waiting to happen. that’s another problem for him too, he’s almost enough of a wreck to do it for fun. good thing he’s taking this a lot more seriously than even his friends expected him, than they expected him to the first time around too.

what he learns quickly is that seunghun’s fun to be around, serious when it comes to music, incredibly creative, and minho’s more than happy that he feels comfortable with him as quickly as he did with nakyung. speaking of magic, it’s just magic when you can click with someone despite only knowing each other for a short time.

he doesn’t remember who exactly entered the song first [but he does remember laughing because it’d gone through multiple times by the time they left the place, that he’s definitely a bit guilty of; what can he say? it’s a great song] but he does remember the moment the next day that they decide to use it for their performance and how things melded together perfectly.

there’s a few things to smooth out, of course, and minho wants to write his own rap for it, wants to get a sense of the vibe they’re going for, for the message he’s going for, but one thing’s for sure: he’s gonna love the performance this week too. maybe this is what he’s the most greedy for, exploring music and getting to work with talented people each week, learning their similarities and differences, feeling that passion for music again and again. no, more than that, it’s about sharing that passion and he’s glad, even if they’d joked about ballads. minho could joke that he dodged a bullet with that one but, hey, to be honest he’s sure he and seunghun could make it work if they chose a different song. he has a feeling there isn’t a song he wouldn’t mind working with the other on.

over the week, the more they practice, the more they coordinate, the less minho feels pressured by the memory of his last time being partnered with another male. sure, he felt it last week with nakyung, worrying that he’ll end up being bad for her standing in the competition, but this week there’s definitely a different notion to it, a more familiar sense of it whenever seunghun calls him hyung. it’s not as if there isn’t a few people who call him hyung on a regular basis. hell, dabin does it all the time but there’s something about lately that makes him more wistful and he misses his own younger brother more in the end, wondering where he is by now in his travel plans. he could check the group chat with his family specifically for chris to share his pictures and updates but then he thinks of what chris said when he heard about the mgas, when it got around to him while he was in thailand.

heh, it’s alright hyung. i knew you’d chose the stage over me

he knows it was a joke. between them, it’s mostly jokes but it doesn’t change that he could’ve been doing that. this time, the greed hits him harder. yeah, greed is a better word for it this time around. selfish sounds too kind, too gentle. he’s greedy. the word is catchier too, right? must be why ariana grande made a song with the namesake.

they’ve come up with their introduction for the show and minho’s having the time of his life trying to figure out what to do exactly. just the perfect touch by bringing—

“oh, hold on a second, i gotta take this.”

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀  I KNOW WHEN THAT HOTLINE BLING 📱

“hey chris, what’s up? are you okay?”

“can’t i call you without anything being wrong?”

he can hear his brother���s voice and the eventual laughter only faintly, furrowing his brows as he strains to hear. “how come you sound so far away?”

“i am far away.”

“gee, thanks genius.”

“you did struggle with world geography.”

“no, i didn’t!”

his brother’s chuckling sounds closer now and minho feels better knowing that chris doesn’t seem down, that it must’ve just been in his mind right? “hey, come on. you’re good right? didn’t get yourself arrested or something?

“is that how lowly you think of me?”

“nah, i lost the bet since you’ve made it this far without trouble.”

“fuck you, man.”

“language.”

“alright, cap.”

minho’s laughing again but he keeps asking himself why chris isn’t answer the question. “you good?”

“what are you, a parrot?”

“yeah, call me iago, jackass. answer the question.”

“i think i’m feeling homesick.”

“yeah?”

“yeah.” just when minho’s about to speak, chris cuts him off. “so i’m coming to seoul next. i need ya to tell me soon if i’m hanging out mostly with dabin and seik hyung or if i gotta wait for you to finish filming. maybe i’ll hold off a couple days.”

he’s quiet at first, torn between grinning and feeling like he’s about to cry. what’s wrong with him that he feels this way so often lately?

“you there? they don’t do the live audience thing anymore, right? sucks. i wanted to see you trip on stage.”

“no one in their right mind would let you into the studios.”

“yeah, yeah. i don’t need’ta hear more of your bullshit that you’re the better looking one. i bet i land and get scouted before you’re done with that show.”

“okay, tell me what happens when you land.”

“you got it,” there’s scuffling sounds in the background and chris says a quick i gotta go but it’s what he says last that gets minho the most. it was rushed but at least his baby brother still said it, still wants to come to seoul to see him. he’s coming to see minho because he’s homesick, but he also told him: “hey hyung, one more thing. go get ‘em.”

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ THAT CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING

when he comes back, he’s in a noticeably more cheerful mood, grinning as they finalize things. that one last finishing touch, truly a chef’s kiss.

   ●●●●●●      ONE STEP CLOSER, JUST BEFORE THE RECORDING — 7월 18일      ●●●●●●

he’s had a few worries this week— most that were probably exaggerated in his mind because, similar to nakyung, seunghun doesn’t mind minho’s past. in fact, seunghun didn’t know much about convex and his taste is more of the older generation of idols, something minho resonates with more than seunghun would probably know. now that he thinks about it, it was his own lack of knowledge about idols and groups and the big 5 that made him decide he wasn’t ready after his first try on the mgas. slowly, he changed his mind and he’s asking himself again if he’s ready this time. it’s weird but, again, he doesn’t know. because, in the end, this time, it’s not about him being ready or not, it’s about him getting the opportunity in the first place and for a guy trying to get his third chance at a company? he knows he’s lucky enough to be considered and for being allowed into the competition, shock value or ratings impact aside.

it takes a lot of pressure off of him, knowing that seunghun isn’t bothered by what follows minho on this show. the comments, the way airtime is given— that reminds him that he was glad about what vernon said even if there’s a chance the guy might not feel the same after not winning the top performance of the week because of him and nakyung. it takes a lot of pressure off of him knowing that he has a friend to do covers with, regardless of the results, because whether they were in seunghun’s studio or his own place, they got along so well and meshed together when it came to music that minho didn’t think it should end anytime soon. it’s almost a shame they only get a week, with any of their partners.

they’re not too far from the studio when minho stops seunghun, “hey, i got you something” and he’s proud of himself for having found it, for getting over the vaguely toxic masculine line of thinking that flowers might be too girly but hey he’s gotten a theme going here now and maybe it’s good luck for him to give his next partner a gift that’s not quite the same but similar, something that’ll remind them both of their performance tonight. besides, a flower for a pretty flower right? he could snort but it’s not like he said the joke out loud, might come off too random if he did. “you know, because i know i don’t have to pull petals off to know too.” it’s an inside joke until later and he can see the weird look dabin is giving him since he hasn’t left yet but he waves it off, shaking his head after saying he and seik will come back for him later when recording is finished. he’s laughing when his friend leaves and he looks to seunghun with a bright grin. now to head inside—

there’s a few things he expects once he’s inside, like saying hi to sakura and giving her his best wishes, even looking for nakyung to do the same, but what he does not expect is for daniel, the guy from the band that’s on the show— empty enigma right? man, does the name sound familiar before now... anyway— to bow to him. before he can stop it, minho’s bowing back while going “noooo” and laughing as he explains that it’s not necessary but daniel seems friendly if not overly polite. he didn’t expect anyone to bow to him in such a manner and he feels bashful for once, more so than when nak asked for his autograph on her convex cd the first time they practiced together. the interaction is surprising to say the least but minho thinks it seems like him, on brand is what they call it right? he’s almost too open with himself, and minho can’t help smiling at the thought that it reminds him of himself a bit. wouldn’t it be funny if daniel walked away from the finale with an offer from sphere?

things settle down and minho’s nodding, chuckling as he pats seunghun’s shoulder at the mention of backing out of their intro. “ ‘course not, man,” and he’s gotta question if seunghun understands just how shameless minho can be sometimes. it might be better if he doesn’t though, especially better if seunghun never goes through minho’s old instagram posts. ah, this is exactly why ahyoung called him out on a bunch of things when they first met.

      ●●●●●●      NEXT ON STAGE, MINHO AND SEUNGHUN,  EP. 4 — 7월 18일      ●●●●●●

hearing his name called this time with seunghun’s sends electricity through his veins and he’s excited. he’s practically bouncing on his feet by the time they make it up there and he knows he has to cool it, despite how very un-cool and more cute their introduction is. but hey, get a guy who can do both right? what’s better than two guys who can do both? they’re pretty flower boys— he says in unison with seunghun after they finish bowing, flower pose with their hands under their chins and all and he thinks it’s cute that seunghun is more embarrassed by all of this than he is. it’s exactly why seunghun suits the daisy.

but first up, the rose.

“hey, i’m the fiery red rose of the group, burning with my passion for you.” part of him tries to ignore how they sound like the set-up for a fanfiction or cute manga plotline but another part of him wants to embrace it, like the nova boys would. that much, he does miss. some of his relationships with them, even if one had burned since then. not missing his timing, minho kisses the rose and throws it to nakyung, though he can’t tell if she was able to catch it without struggling. he hopes not. seunghun’s intro is as sweet and gentle as he comes off as and he’s glad for the change in their song later, proud of how charismatic seunghun will be once they start and he thinks maybe they should’ve switched intros jokingly.

his heart is practically thrashing [yeah, yeah, he knows not literally but damn does it feel like it] when the music starts but he feels how it matches the rhythm once he looks to seunghun, because he has faith in how well they’ve prepared, how well they mesh together, and how the song sounds, how they took two songs and made it theirs, perfect for two pretty flower boys, ayyy.

he thinks he’s calmed down a little but seeing a few familiar faces do the point dance from gashina— junhee, hyunggu, kyungsoo, sihyeon, heejin, yeji, all names he’s been learning and looking out for since the competition narrowed down, all just as talented and impressive— he feels hype all over again and well . . .  에라 모르겠다, just go with it, right?

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 가시나 GASHINA   &&. 에라 모르겠다 FXXK IT ♫ MASH-UP IS SELF-PRODUCED BY MINHO &&. SEUNGHUN, RAP WRITTEN BY MINHO NOTE: THE GESTURES & EXPRESSIONS IN VIDEO ARE SIMILAR IF NOT WRITTEN !

seunghun sings the beginning of another popular hit song, but the mood is similar, a message about love, about deciding eh, whatever [에라 모르겠다] and he grins once the realization settles in. his rap verges a little from the message of the song, in that it’s not just about love, but about them, about performing, about how they can’t be ignored and will keep flying high. honestly, it’s for all of them because he thinks it’s a message that’s overlooked with the disappointment of the show, this isn’t the end. it can be a new beginning whether or not you make it to the next round and he wouldn’t be here if he didn’t believe in that, if he didn’t believe that one end isn’t another beginning or he’d be back home, or traveling with chris.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 좋아 이젠 너를 잊을 수 있게 FINE, I’LL FORGET YOU

꽃같이 살래 나답게 I’M GONNA LIVE LIKE A FLOWER, I’LL BE MYSELF ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

it’s a message he’s been saying for years, before moving to seoul, before learning how to properly dance at all, before trying to rap seriously for the first time. be yourself. it’s why he loves the song more than people expect— because everyone remembers the point dance, that she sings of someone leaving her behind when she’s so pretty but it’s also about finding strength on your own, a lesson he thinks everyone needs at least once. a lesson he’s grateful he’s learning now, to stand on his own feet, to continue standing on a stage people think he hasn’t earned or whatever it is. whatever people say, he wants to grow, to stand tall and proud like a pretty flower, as much as it was said for comedic relief, despite being said for that purpose, that it’s funny and cute.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ EVERY DAY WE PLAY THE GAME WITH TWO OF US, NO CHANCE OF LOSING 행진 충만한 느낌과 [MUSIC]* MUSIC FEELING LIKE WE’RE ON A WINNING STREAK 허를 찌르는 우리들의 불규칙*   OUR UNPREDICTABILITY CATCHES YOU OFF-GUARD 지금 처럼에 [KEEP IT GOIN’ GOIN’ OUR WAY] LIKE THIS RIGHT NOW, KEEP IT GOIN’ GOIN’ OUR WAY WHO SAID WE CAN’T WHO SAID WE WON’T I SAY WE CAN YEAH WE CAN 더 이상 앞이 막혀있지 안게 THERE’S NOTHING BLOCKING (US) 열려라 참깨 문을 열어 OPEN IT, OPEN SESAME OPEN THE DOOR

밝은 미래 향해 날아 FLY TOWARDS A BRIGHT FUTURE ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ *HANGUL WAS CHANGED FOR THIS PERFORMANCE FROM THE VIDEO

the cute charm of seunghun comes back when he sings the same line minho made sound more like a rap, both of them putting their own spin on it, and he’s looking over with a smile when seunghun makes another flower with his hands but most of all he thinks of what this is building up into, the climax of the song, seunghun’s high note and how they converge the song together, with each other and his next line hits harder than it should.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 오랜만에 느껴보는 이런 떨림 HAVEN’T FELT THIS NERVOUS IN A WHILE ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

there’s a sense of relief that washes him over him when seunghun delivers the high note perfectly and while he didn’t have doubts in seunghun’s talent, he hoped the nerves wouldn’t hit, that seunghun would be able to show off that power vocal he’s been cheering about in every practice and he’s glad the judges can see what he could: the potential. all he can think of towards the end is this: 에라 모르겠다  GIRL I WANNA GET DOWN  

PROFILE / SKILLS / AUDITION / EPISODE 1 / EPISODE 2 / EPISODE 3 ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ EP. 4: PERFORMANCE / INTERVIEW

[talesofafangirlwithadvr]

JUNE PICKS

I know, I know it’s currently July 13th and I’m only posting my June picks now. In my defense summer is going FAR too fast and I didn’t want to encounter spoilers for Stranger Things so i was avoiding a lot of social media. So without further a do here come my picks.

Always be prepared for spoilers. Tread lightly. 

LEGENDS OF TOMORROW

Best.season.so.far... As a MAJOR fan of all things Arrowverse, recently I have found myself losing interest in the Berlanti CW/DC shows. Some of the plots feel overdone (we’ve done it on one show and now it’s appearing on another), or characters are losing who they once were. The only show in this multiverse that I’m caught up on is Legends of Tomorrow. Thanks to Netflix I was able to binge it all at once (which I found really helps watching this show. You just want to watch episode after episode because you NEED to know where we’re headed next). I think Legends is really underrated as a whole, which is wrong. It deserves more love compared to Arrow and The Flash. I believe it is the strongest of the superhero shows on the network. That was proven with this great season (I’d call it the best and I can’t wait to watch season 5). I really enjoyed this team of heroes aboard the Waverider. We’ve seen much change from last season and only 3 remain from the original team that Rip created. (Which is SO crazy!) At first I was worried about Charlie because I didn’t want her to just be a recasting of Amaya, but I loved her addition. She brought another style to the Waverider and having her as a “monster” was perfect for this season that involved bringing awareness to these creatures. Plus her power came in handy a lot of the time. I’m always a fan of Constantine so it was great to see him as a permanent fixture of the Legends (even if he claimed he didn’t want to be :). After speaking with him at HVFF in Edison, New Jersey this June I am excited to see his character return as a regular for season 5. I also enjoyed Nora Darhk. When we first met her last season we we’re supposed to like her, but since she’s no longer possessed and wanting to change her ways we see a different side of her now. A side that Ray sees (still think it’s super adorable that off screen husband and wife are love interests on the show). I was a big fan of her involvement this season. Speaking of Ray, what a journey he went on. Props to Brandon Routh for his acting this season. Very out of his regular character, which often is the most fun to watch. I loved the Time Bureau getting more involved in the plot. We got to see more of their headquarters and how they function while the Legends do their thing throughout space and time. I hope that continues, especially so we don’t lose seeing characters like Ava and Mona (oh and of course Gary-oops!) MAJOR SPOILER ALERT!!!!   That ending!!!! Please don’t tell us Zari is off the team for good. I mean I’m sure her brother is nice and all, but we need her! After speaking with Tala, also at HVFF, she said we’ll be getting a much different Zari this season. Which makes complete sense seeing as how her backstory has drastically changed. 

Man, I guess I could have dedicated an entire post just to Legends of Tomorrow. Just shows you it is a great show that you should be watching. 

Now I can’t stop singing James Taylor’s “Sweet Baby James”

Good Omens

This Amazon Prime Video original was my first watch of the month. I didn’t binge it all at once (mainly because I don’t like investing ALL of my time into watching something that’s only a handful of episodes and then feeling completely lost when it’s over...Wow that opened something I didn’t know was there....) While that’s one of the reasons I didn’t watch all episodes in one sitting the other is that I couldn’t really get into it. People have told me great things about the book, but I haven’t read it and I didn’t know a whole lot (other than what I’ve seen from the trailer) before watching. It’s hard for me to explain why I didn’t enjoy it or get into it. I don’t know if it was the large amount of characters to follow or the style of episodes or just the overall style of the show. I enjoyed the voice over narration and I thought the dynamic between Aziraphale and Crowley was great (always a fan of David Tennant). I liked the reinventing of the final battle and how these forces currently exist on Earth. I think my favorite episodes were the last two as the battle occurred and how Adam was a part of it all. 

Have you watched Good Omens? Did you like it? 

Jack Whitehall’s Travels with my Father

After watching Good Omens I was looking for a quick watch before jumping into Daredevil (which I know is also a quick watch). Seeing Jack Whitehall in Good Omens reminded me of a Netflix show I had saved in my queue a while ago. The British Comedian Jack Whitehall decides to go on a gap year in his late twenties and bring along his seventy year old father. Like everyone does! I’ve read a lot of things, while I watched, about how the show is scripted and while it is at times very obvious I still liked watching their banter. His dad had some great lines as Jack brought him to some eccentric spots. It was also nice to see their relationship progress as the episodes went on. As someone who wasn’t thinking of traveling to Asia I really liked being able to see some of the places and attractions in different countries that might not be as publicized. I have the second season saved in my queue where Jack’s dad will bring Jack to what he considers a vacation. This time traveling around Europe. I think it should be good, but right now I have other things to watch before.   

Blood & Treasure

CBS’ new summer show has already been picked up for a second season and the first season hasn’t even finished yet! If that’s not a reason for you to check this out then read this review. :) 

This action adventure show follows Danny, an ex FBI agent, and Lexi, an art thief, as they travel the globe in search for Cleopatra’s tomb and other Egyptian antiquities before they get in the hands of a terrorist. Each week feels like you have entered a movie as you join this team race against the clock to retrieve these artifacts. Because of this there are times where I feel like the show might work better as a movie or a mini-series/3 longer episodes. By this point I feel like there are times where the plot gets a little extended and parts might not need to happen (but do because of the length of episodes). That being said I am still enjoying this show and am excited to see how the season eventually ends. Now that I know there will be a second season it will be interesting to see what they pursue next. If you like movies like Indiana Jones and National Treasure as well as the TNT show The Librarians, then this show is one for you!    

PBS Les Miserables 

I am way behind on reviewing this program that debuted on PBS’ Masterpiece in the Spring, but with one episode left I am very excited to talk about this new adaptation of Victor Hugo’s Les Miserables. This six episode show directed by Andrew Davies brings Hugo’s characters to life without music. Being a fan of the musical, I was a little worried about how the show would be without this element. While there are times where I would like a song that is traditional sung by one of the leads to be played in the background (and I think it would have put the scene over the top) I have really enjoyed watching. Due to the length of the series we have really been able to get to know these characters and watch their transformations. I have always been daunted by the size of the novel, so I have not had the chance to read it, but being familiar with Davies’ work in the past (the iconic Pride and Prejudice 1995) I have a feeling this program is very accurate to the original text. My favorite character is still Jean Valjean (despite the slight plot wholes at how he has so much money despite escaping jail so many times). I think my favorite parts have been the earlier episodes when Cosette is young. I understand she wants to see the word as she gets older, but sometimes she bothers me. Currently I am at the barricade with them. One more episode to go. I know how it will end, but I’m probably still not mentally prepared.    

Master Chef Junior

This season I have watched a good amount of reality shows (in the sense of game shows/competition shows/and yes Bachelorette). Some seasons when you watch I feel that you connect better to the contestants. You root for them and are devastated when they lose or get out. You call them by name as if you know them. I often feel this way with Fox’s Master Chef Junior, but this season especially I was invested in this show. They were a great group of young home cooks.

While their cooking skills ALWAYS put mine to shame and half the time I don’t know what they’re talking about and just smile and nod, I always find myself watching cooking competitions that involve kids. It’s just so impressive all that they can do at their age. I always love how they talk about cooking for so long meanwhile how much cooking could you do at 2 years old? (Or was it just my parents that wouldn’t allow me to use a stove??) This season they had multiple non-elimination rounds showing just how good these kids were. While my favorite, Reid, did not make the finals (he was soooo close) I will forever think of him when people talk about fishing. “The best part about fishing is fishing.”   

The Amazing Race

I’ve been a fan of the Amazing Race for a very long of time, but cannot believe that this past season was their 19th SEASON! In the past I’ve heard of the show possibly not returning for another season, but I’m so happy that was not the case. There really is still not too much out there like it. This season the teams (ironically) came from all reality shows ranging from Big Brother, Survivor, and (of course) The Amazing Race. There were so many familiar faces that it was like we were visiting old friends. (I’m still super happy that the top 3 were all Race teams). This season was another example of getting too invested in the show. It often caused a lot of anxiety and being told to ‘fast forward to the end’ to know who got out. (Which I usually refused to do). Next season will be very hard to beat!

BINGEING

The Walking Dead

I mentioned that the Walking Dead was on my to watch list and I have decided to make it my Summer Show of 2019. Season 1 went by extremely fast (it was only 6 episodes) and now I’m in the middle of season 2. (I think I just hit episode 10?) Shane is getting crazier and crazier by the day. Sofia was discovered. I knew she’d be a zombie, but wow I was not expecting where we’d find her. Dale has quickly become one of my favorites and I don’t want anything bad to happen to him. I love how he knows what’s truly going on. Glenn is still my favorite and I’m excited to see his relationship with Maggie progress. Carl got his signature look wearing Rick’s hat. I think Hershel might let them stay on the farm. This show is just so addicting. I can never just watch one. I know I’m in for a roller coaster and just like when I watched Game of Thrones, the spoilers are out there (because I’m watching it so late) and I do know some, but not all. Can’t wait to continue. Are you a fan?  

So, that’s it! That’s the June Wrap Up. Are we watching any of the same things? Are there any shows that seem interesting? Anything I should add to my watch list? Let me know!

July Watch Preview

Just finished it last night. (You now see why I had that rant earlier about finishing a show and not knowing what to do with my life.) Wow! I am probably not going to be able to wait to post an article till July. Keep your eyes open for a new post soon!!

[venus-says]

Symphogear G Episodes 01-04

Now... Let's begin.

And the symphogear marathon continues! Today was very busy and I thought I wouldn’t be able to watch symphogear today, BUT HERE I AM! THE STRIKE CONTINUES!

We’re starting season 2 and like I’ve mentioned this is a very special season to me. G was the first season I got to watch weekly and from all seasons It was the one in which I was the most active in the fandom, so I’M EXCITED.

Granzizel bilfen Gungnir zizzl

So, Episode 1 starts weird. Not because of the flashback, I actually like it being played there it peaks up your curiosity because we've never seen those characters before and we see a new symphogear and everything, it's really great. But from that, we go to a fighting scene that's is happening in the middle of a mission so it's a bit confusing. 

But if we put this awkwardness to the side this beginning is actually pretty strong. Dark Oblivion playing in the background while is random it still serves a purpose cuz it raises the tension of the situation. Hibiki and Chris show amazing chemistry together, is really great to see how their relationship flourished and even though Chris still show signs of reluctance in a few moments we see that both of them are very comfortable in this friendship and they like each other quite a lot. And the climax of the battle with Hibiki's plan to defeat the "boss" noise is just incredibly amazing.

ALSO,

WE GOT PROPER TRANSFORMATIONS THIS TIME! YAY! The ones from season one have some nice aesthetic to it but I’m not gonna lie, these ones are way better.

Going in the second half we have the traditional duo live on a stadium that is always magnificent. I don't know if it holds the same iconicness (?) as the live from season one, but this one sure jumps to the eye and is pretty beautiful. I especially like those mic/swords/torches, they're an amazing prop and the way they integrate it with the performance and the dance is just gorgeous.

The revelation of Maria being evil and all, I don't think that it really works. Even if I was watching this for the first time, since we already got hints of it before with that phone call scene we could already have some suspicions on her and it weakens the moment, if instead of that we had only Mom talking without having a good visual clue or something I think this could've worked better.

AND SPEAKING OF HINTS, that moment when they drop Professor Ver and he gives that psycho laugh is just... C'mon guys.

Regardless, a great episode (not as strong as S01E01, but still great).

Not a lot happens in Episode 2 so I don’t have a lot to say. It picks up from where the last episode ended and most of it was just Maria and Tsubasa, who later get aided by their companions fighting. There’s nothing so special about the fight but is worth to point out that Tsubasa’s new fighting song is probably one of the greatest in the hole series, and that both trios are parallels to each other to some extent and that’s a pretty neat detail that I never picked up in the past 6 years (which is a shame).

Again this episode tries some revelations but none of them really work. Like I said, in the last episode, Ver already dropped major hints that he’s evil so seeing him with the Staff of Solomon at the end doesn’t tickle me. Kirika and Shirabe in their gears could’ve been an interesting moment but since we got a scene earlier where Shirabe just puts her pendant ou like if it was no big deal there’s no surprise when they come to aid Maria (ALSO THE OPENING SPOILED THAT A LITTLE BIT SO).

I think the more important thing about this episode is seeing how easily Shirabe got to break Hibiki. I personally don’t think Hibiki should’ve gotten so shaken by those words but from a character standpoint it that reaction makes sense for her. It is the start of a new emotional ark that I’m excited to revisit.

A last note, about the S2CA Tri-Burst, Chris keeps saying that the technique isn’t complete yet but like... how are you supposed to even train this thing? How you gonna hone this technique to perfection? HOW THE HELL DID EVEN THIS BECAME A THING WHEN THE SUPERB SONGS ARE KINDA LIKE DEADLY???????? Questions, so many questions.

Episode 3 is pretty boring for the entirety of its first part. A lot of that is just exposition done in the less creative way possible.

Things get interesting in the second half, but being honest I didn’t care for most of the “symphogear” plot and was more interested in seeing the girls at school. We got a really nice moment of Chris and Tsubasa bonding and I wish we could’ve seen more of that in this episode. As much as the fight brought interesting elements like Nephilim and that gas that lows their compatibility with the gears, everything went so fast it didn’t leave an impression.

Another problem to me is Ver revealing himself so early, it took what? 9 episodes to Finé to finally show her face and say “I’m the boss yall gonna fight later” and Ver is here in episode 3 already flashing himself out. It seems dumb.

I also don’t like the “new Finé” thing, but I remember this causing some interesting conflict later on so it doesn’t bother that much.

Episode 4 makes me so confused. Not that there’s something in the episode that is too hard to understand but is the way the narrative changes that bugs my mind.

We have such a big shift from the first half to the second that is like watching two different shows. I think they wanted to spread out both the action and the more light-hearted stuff to create some balance but what creates is just confusion.

If they had gathered all of the “gear plot” from last episode and this one in a single episode, then grab the school life elements from episodes 3, 4 and probably 5 and made that it’s own thing we would have better episodes that would have the time to develop properly what they want to develop and would take away this awkward feeling that it causes. Yes, most people would then consider the school festival episode a “filler” but honestly, I think is better than having comedic moments right after such a tense fight. Comic relief is good and is needed, but everything has its time and the way they handled in this episode wasn’t right.

But hey, we got to see Chirs singing Kyoshitsu Monochrome in one of the most beautiful live scenes I’ve ever seen so, I think I’ll be able to sleep and have nice dreams tonight. See you guys tomorrow (if I don’t take too much time in the bank with my grandma, PRAY FOR ME).