#each year i try my luck and each year i fail lmfao

[maskerat]

I'm gonna write a Clouded Monk inspired story for a creative writing competition. wish me luck guys.

here's a small sneak-peak:

[gummygowon]

happy new year!

alright so i've never done one of these end of the year post things but i do just want to take the time to get sappy here for a second. first of all, thank you so much to everybody who has supported, read, liked, commented, or reblogged any of my fics. it truly means a lot that my 2am thoughts are appreciated by many people. to be honest, i started this blog with the intention of just posting my oneshots for shits and giggles and never would have i thought that i would have almost 300 followers on this account.

apart from writing though, this year has been a little hectic for me. i started my senior in high school, trying my best to get into college (and possibly play a college sport), got a job and my license (after failing the first time). it's a little bittersweet to realize how much i've grown as a person this year and i cannot wait to see what's going to happen next year.

again, i would like to thank everyone for supporting my blog, it just really really means a lot to me and i hope all of you have a great and safe 2022!!!

notes to some of my favs <3:

to @agustdiv1ne: ashlee! i am honestly so thankful for your presence. you've endured so much of my bs this year and i can't thank you enough for being there for me countless of times. it's freaky to think that i've met someone so similar yet, we've never seen each other irl (power of interest friends 🤪). good luck in college and hopefully we can meet soon!!

to @prodbyteez: riaaa! you are an absolute ball of sunshine and hope you continue to bring happiness and light to yourself and others next year! it's been awhile since we've talked but just know that i miss you a lot :) good luck with college and i hope you passion for dancing never withers

to @hwaflms: eve! even though we just met a couple months ago, you're a super cool person and i just wanted to let you know that i've missed you sm! good luck in 2022 and may you live the best year of you life :)

to @yunhoflrtz: q! we literally met like two weeks ago lmfao but i really hope we can get closer this year! you're an amazing writer that i look up to so much and you have the sickest blog that i've seen on this website. happy new year bby!

to all my moots:

happy new year! i hope 2022 is filled with amazing and great things for all of you and i really appreciate all of you guys so much! thank you so much for making my 2021 :)

@luvanter @woahhwa @bobateastay @sweetheartsannie @ateezinmymind @masterninjacow @cherryatiny @hyetiny @yeostars @atozfic @treasure-hwa @tinkerbellwoo @annasbananas

some of my favorite songs from 2021!

nabi - bibi

fireworks - ateez

leave the door open - silk sonic

perfect - ph-1

boom! - dpr live

소년, 소녀 - loona (haseul)

mmmh - kai

queendom - red velvet

back 2 u - nct 127

perfect world - twice

trivia 承 : love - bts

stay with me - miki matsubara

asap - stayc

vibe - 1team

final note!

thank you everyone for all the support you given me this year and i promise i'll try to be more active this year and not just post once in a blue moon! i have so many drafts that i need to finish so please look to that! stay safe and have a great new year everyone!!!

with much love,

mai <3

[effervescentslut]

how you meet | fred and george weasley

Requested: Yes

Content Warnings: None tbh... well, a lot of Ron degradation dslnfjfgnkjsfnskdjdnkjsf all jokes, though... 

A/N: Woop woop we’re diving into the Harry Potter universe!! Sorry this took a bit to put together, I’ve been in a slump recently. I hope you enjoy! Friendly reminder that requests are open!!

Gryffindor!Reader

you became friends with ron in first year after he accidentally walked in on you changing into your robes on the train fkjcnxnjasndkjwefenkwrj

“blimey, i’m so sorry--”

you wanted to die tbh

but his quirkiness charmed you so you stuck with him for the rest of the train ride

even though his nose was dirty HA

you were tired of boarding with isobel macdougal, she was a nutcase

after following ron back to his compartment, you were acquainted with harry

they were pretty chill; apparently harry was some wizzy legend but you could not care less

you wanted to get off the mf hogwarts express™ your motion sickness was going berserk

ron seemed comfortable with the idea of attending hogwarts; he rambled about his older brothers nonstop who also went to school there

meanwhile you and harry were nervously looking at each other like

later that evening you get sorted into gryffindor ayyyy RAWR!!!!!

you met hermione after you both reached for the yorkshire pudding at the feast and she snatched her hand away from yours and blushed bc she accidentally touched you swenkdqknanjadnjwejfknw LMFAO POOR SHY GIRL

fred and george made a point to introduce themselves to ron’s new buds, much to his dismay, before everyone split off at the gryffindor tower

settling into school was pretty easy

you already had a great group of mates to hang around, they brought out the best in you

one day you’re walking to potions class with ron, harry, and hermione

you’re about to take a test hhhhhhhhhh nothing is more intimidating than being a gryffindor in the same room as professor snape

ron has been anxiously complaining about it to you guys and his brothers for weeks

“merlin, y/n, how am i supposed to know that eel eyes and frog eyes make the bulgeye potion? we’re only first years!”

hermione butts in, “actually ron, it’s eel eyes and beetle eyes--”

“shut it, hermione!” 

the twins™ pop in, making sure they catch ron before his impending doom

“maybe you should listen to her ron”

“yeah ron, you wouldn’t want mum to find out you failed your first potions test--”

“--when the potion only has two ingredients!”

ron’s cheeks and ears are flaming red ohhhh boy

fred and george turn around

“good luck to you, harry” *they shake his hands*

“good luck to you, y/n” *they shake your hands*

“good luck to you, herm-- ah, who are we kidding, she doesn’t need luck”

they turn back to ron

“good luck you especially, ronald”

“yeah, your life depends on it!”

they ruffle his hair and run off

you giggle at them and ron is  f u m i n g

you watch them scamper away and fondly admire them :’)

ron straightens his hair and says, “that was bloody embarrassing” 

“to be fair, what they said was true, ron” you reluctantly chime in

“oh, shove off, y/n”

... ron ended up flunking the test

after potions the next day, fred and george are RELENTLESS at dinner

you know those people who say virtually anything and you laugh like it’s the funniest thing to have ever been spoken? it’s me, i’m y/n. gemini tingzzzz

to you, that’s fred and george

they immediately learn this when you’re trying your damndest to not choke on your lamb chops while laughing

... and simultaneously trying to not laugh at ron because he’s your friend

but boy are his brothers funny

the twins feed off of your reactions and continue to brutally torment their younger brother

to the point where you ACTUALLY choke on your food and have to excuse yourself to the bathroom, still coughing and wheezing during your laughing fit

harry tries to not laugh with (and at) you

hermione is like.... uhh wtf just happened can i eat my treacle tarts in peace please??

ron is clearly annoyed by the entire situation

fred and george are smirking and ease up on their teasing because your reaction was better than anything ron could have mustered up

after that night, fred and george’s sole purpose for teasing ron around you was to gauge your reaction

scratch that

any time you were with the twins, they just HAD to get you to laugh at least once

ron was getting  f e d  u p

“honestly, y/n, they’re not even that funny!”

you roll your eyes

every time you were with ron you secretly hoped fred and george would show up xcndjksdnjkewnrwkjfna

the twins never teased you though bc they have a soft spot for you

cheering for harry, fred, and george at gryffindor quidditch matches!!

siding with the twins when they argue with ron about quidditch stuff

soon you become actual friends with fred and george

meeting a bunch of their friends from their year so now you have a bunch of upperclassmen mates i was the same exact way i would just be a groupie among my older peers hahahah

they’d help you pass cheat in any class you’re in

you’re their biggest supporter

just say the word and they’d do ANYTHING for their new “adoptive” sister

“maybe we should swap you out for y/n, ron”

percy knows to keep away from you because he’s afraid the twins are tainting you dncwdjkfnkwjefnkjew but he still keeps an eye out, ya know?

molly CAN NOT wait to meet you

she sends you an owl one day and makes you promise to keep fred and george in line... oh, and ron too LMFAOO

Non-Gryffindor!Reader

let’s face it

gryffindor or not...

no matter what year you’re in...

everyone knows who fred and george weasley are

you’re the same year as the weasley twins and they had already built up quite a reputation for themselves...

AS SECOND-YEARS!!

there had been so much gossip about these prankster twins floating through the corridors the past two years

even the professors had begun to complain LMAO

“those weasley boys are nothing like percy!”

“poor minerva must have her hands full with those rambunctious twins!!”

and sure, you’d had the occasional inter-house class with them, but hardly ever interacted with them

to be fair, they are a bit overwhelming to be around

anyways

it was quidditch season!!

and you hade made the chaser position for your house’s team!

so one day your team is playing against another (non-gryffindor) team

and like... you’re good

BLOODY GOOD

you score quite a couple goals and the seeker even catches the snitch! (as if you needed the snitch to win the game liiiiike you really carried your team)

fred and george are supporting your team because 1. they know good quidditch when they see it and 2. you’re definitely the mvp

the unspoken mvp of your team

and they’re scared for gryffindor’s match against your house fkjsfnkjrnrkfw

because they’re beaters

and the opposing team’s beaters were allegedly good uh oh

how tf are they gonna juke you out??

anyways

after the match you’re celebrating with your team

you bid them goodbye and head back to your common room so you can finish your paper for history of magic

when a pair of identical, red-haired, gryffindor boys take you by surprise and pop up out of nowhere

your grip on your quidditch bag slips and you drop your bag

you sigh, “can i help you?”

“brilliant work out there today!”

“sorry about your bag”

george hands you your duffel

your eyes narrow as you grab it, your focus flitting to fred and then george

“listen, binns is gonna have your heads if you don’t write two separate papers this time--” 

“we don’t want to talk to you about class right now...”

“...we’re here to beg for your mercy on us when you play gryffindor in a few months”

you snort and push past them, “if you two stop pestering me in fourth hour, then i’ll consider it”

you spin around on your heels, “and i have a name, you know!!”

“we know your name, y/n!” 

“we know who EVERYONE is!”

“go write your papers!!”

[floraisann]

origin ↠ park seonghwa

➣ ateez my hero academia au

➣ warnings: eleven year old seonghwa is a whiny BRAT but besides that this do be a safe installment for bnha ateez

➣ genre: slice of life/ humor? idk hwa’s just chilling (until he’s not)

➣ word count: 1,123

➣ author note: “let’s keep the origin stories relatively short” well uh it seems the bratty tween seonghwa agenda disagrees lmfao ☠️ ANYWAYS here’s hwa’s origin story/why he wants to be a hero in the first place :) i’ve gotten bits and pieces of the remaining six somewhat completed as well so!!! let’s hope i can get those out just as quick because!!!!! i’m very excited for woosansang’s quirks bc i tried my hardest to make them rlly cool and 🥺🥺🥺 i rlly like theirs the most andnndxjjs OH YEAH like i said before too tbz will be getting their own bnha au in the same universe as this one (meaning ateez is class A and tbz is class B haha get it TheB = class B HAHA GET IT) so my fellow deobitiny do look out for that!! (i also only have changmin and eric’s quirks but shhh that’s fine)

➣ other origin stories: hongjoong

➣ hero interviews: hongjoong, [seonghwa]

➣ main masterlist

“Sometimes, when you get tired from life; when things are hard, come to me” - Lean On Me, SEVENTEEN

❅♩♬♩❅――

“When did you know you wanted to be a hero?”

Eleven years old. Seonghwa is eleven years old and miserable as he sits under the only semi-comfortable shade of a large oak tree. He’s still bitter as he harshly tugs handfuls of grass from their roots to stall time. He definitely did not want to attend his brother’s school’s back-to-school picnic— he really didn’t see the point, considering the fact that he wasn’t attending nor did he know anyone— yet despite his complaints, his parents dragged him along anyways.

“Hi Hwa-Hwa! Still sulking?” He looks up to see his older brother, a thin layer of sweat causing his forehead to glisten as he pants, clearly exhausted from playing with his friends. This was the third time he’d come over to check on Seonghwa through his mini breaks, yet so far, each time he’d failed at getting his junior to leave the headquarters he’s set up away from the cloudless sky.

“I’m not joining you and letting my skin melt off, if that’s what you’re gonna ask.” He says as a matter of fact. His brother lets out an exasperated sigh as he scratches the back of his neck.

“Yeah yeah, don’t think I forgot how much you hate the heat.” He reassures. “Hey instead of sulking about how the sun is your mortal enemy or whatever, why don’t you use your skill of being able to walk in the sun without getting instant sunburn to go over there and get ice cream?”

Seonghwa scrunches his nose in distaste as he contemplates his answer. “Is there salted caramel?”

His brother shrugs, swiftly taking his wallet out of his pocket, fishing for cash. “Probably.” He grins as he shakes a twenty dollar bill directly in front of Seonghwa’s face. “If there is, you can take this and buy yourself some ice cream if you buy me a bag of chocolate chip cookies as well.”

He quirks an eyebrow at his elder. “Yeah? And what if there isn’t salted caramel?”

The grin on his face only widens, much to Seonghwa’s chagrin.“Then you use all twenty on cookies and we share!” There was no way he was getting out of this errand.

❅♩♬♩❅――

With two bags of cookies in hand and visibly no salted caramel ice cream, Seonghwa doubts he’s hardly fifty meters from the comfortable shade of his beloved oak tree when he passes a crying toddler, and he stops, an expression of worry overtaking his features.

“Excuse me, mister, can you please help me?” His heartbeat starts to pick up as the young, crying girl begins to drag her feet over to him. What was he supposed to do?

“M-Mister?” He mutters to himself. He props his hands on his knees, crouching down to the young girl’s height as she reaches him. “Yes, what is it?”

“I-I can’t find my mommy…” Admitting such only seems to make the girl, who seems to be hardly three years of age, cry even harder, and Seonghwa freezes for a moment before deciding to comfort her.

“Everything’s gonna be alright! Just trust me,” He manages to get out. “Um, do you know her phone number or anything?” She shakes her head, rubbing her eyes as the flow of glassy tears thins.

“Well then…” He glances over her head back to the school picnic, trying to scan for any signs of a panicked mother. Nothing. “Ok, um, what does your mom look like?”

“She has—” She’s interrupted by a loud hiccup and Seonghwa instinctively moves to pat her on the shoulder as a gesture to continue. “Mommy has black hair.”

“Well that’s half the population of Korean mothers, you know?” He wants to say, but he doesn’t particularly want her to cry more than she already has. “Okay, unfortunately I know a lot of mothers with black hair, so can you tell me your name?”

“Kim Aeri,” She replies, still sniffling. Seonghwa’s eyes narrow as he thoughtfully glances down. Something sounded familiar.

“Do you have a sister?” He asks.

Aeri nods. “My sister is Kim Aeyeon, but I can’t find her either…”

“So that’s it...” He thinks. Yes, he knew of a Kim Aeyeon. In fact, there’s no way he couldn’t know a Kim Aeyeon with how often his older brother spoke of his insufferable crush. Seonghwa grins as he stands up, dusting off the front of his pants. “Alright, I might not be able to find your mom, but I think I can bring you to your sister! Is that okay?”

“Yes, please. Thank you, mister!” He nods before gently taking her hand. It’s a torturous fifteen minute walk under the cloudless summer sky as Seonghwa navigates the area to find the group of older kids playing volleyball, but soon enough, he spots a large net, and his family’s blue and yellow Mikasa volleyball his brother had chosen to bring for the day. To his luck, not only does he spot the girl he knows to be Aeyeon, but by the panicked expression of the older lady she’s speaking with, Seonghwa can easily guess he’s also found Aeri’s mother.

“You take this, mister!” Seonghwa is momentarily rendered speechless as Aeri drops a small piece of hard candy into his palm. “Because you’re like a hero! And my mommy always told me we should give back to the heroes!” He’s not able to respond before the young girl bounds over to her mother, who frantically scoops her up in her arms, hugging her tightly. Seonghwa briefly makes eye contact with Aeri’s mother as she eagerly points back to him, no doubt chattering about how a hero helped her, and he can’t help the warmth that spreads from his chest at her thankful smile.

“You’re a hero, huh?” Seonghwa grumbles shoving his brother as he comes over to playfully punch the younger on the shoulder. “It’s got a nice ring to it, huh?”

“Shut up.” His blatant denial only served to make his elder laugh louder, much to his annoyance. Only six years later, when Seonghwa recalls the memory while helping his classmate, San, study will he ever admit he was right.

“I still don’t get it! Which of the seven Ottoman downfalls was their actual downfall, and why do we care?” San’s whiny voice breaks him out of his daze, and he straightens up, his eyes glazing over the contents of the textbook. “Hwa, I really don’t get it, I’m gonna fail.”

And though they aren’t to the same person he first spoke them to all those years back, eight words that would later evolve into his hero catchphrase fall from his mouth as he reassuringly rubs San on the shoulder.

“Hey, everything’s gonna be alright! Just trust me!”

[foxtophat]

hahah well here i am back on my 10k word bullshit

promise the next chapter is way shorter, john is just so fucking over the top that i spend so much time just trying to organize his thoughts for you guys lmfao. what a chad, right?????

anyway, i hope you guys enjoy nick and john bitching at each other, because that’s pretty much the theme of this chapter.  i really enjoyed writing it, which should tell you everything you need to know about how bad a day john is about to have

as usual, i hope that you enjoy! if you do, please consider throwing me a bone in the form of a kudos, comment or reblog -- i eat those up like turkish delight, nom nom nom

also as usual, i got the fic text beneath a readmore for my friends who like to stay on one page.   no matter what your reading experience, i will try to accommodate for you!!!

i hope you guys are all having a good day and that it continues to be good even after i’m done giving you fic to read!! that’s... all that’s all i got

John had known offering his help was a mistake as soon as he'd done it. Suggesting that he knew where hidden supplies might be was obviously setting himself up for colossal failure, but he'd had to think on his feet. He hadn't wanted to build up Kim's hopes, or encourage her to talk to Nick about it. All he'd wanted was for her to go back upstairs so he could sneak outside without her haranguing him for it. Then he'd seen how much it had reassured her, and the obligation to follow through had set in. Now, no matter how obvious a failure the endeavor may become, he has no choice but to push forward with the plan.

That's why John doesn't protest when Nick suggests they go sooner than later. He probably should, because it's been too hot to dig for the past week already, but the sooner he disappoints Kim, the less disappointment he'll incur. None of them will have time to blow things out of proportion. The cache he has in mind had been buried by Jacob a little under a mile outside of town, in some unused patch of farmland. They'll be back before sundown, and the sting of returning empty-handed won't last too unbearably long.

Of course, when the morning comes to go look for the cache, John can barely manage to drag himself out of bed. If he'd thought yesterday's heat was unbearable, then he doesn't know what he'd call today. The sun has barely risen and it's already baked his room, leaving him tangled up in sweaty sheets. Summer has always been John's least favorite month, even before the Collapse, but there has to be something wrong for them to be going through a second week of a heatwave. At least blaming the nuclear apocalypse for their shitty weather makes him feel slightly better.

He can't tell if he managed to sleep, but from the way his head aches as he slowly rises, John is willing to bed he failed that task yet again. God, what he wouldn't give for some fucking Ambien. Even a good, stiff drink would help, but John's shot tolerance hasn't recovered from his last encounter for post-apocalyptic liquor, so that's out of the question. Just his luck — he's going to have to suffer a whole day around Nick without much keeping him upright.

Even in the relatively cool shade downstairs, John finds himself blinking sweat out of his eyes. It's a struggle for him to focus on anything besides how miserable he is. If only he could blame it on trauma — but no, he's just never handled prolonged heat well. Montana might not have Georgia's overwhelming humidity, but the temperature climbs twenty degrees higher, and summer out here never seems to fucking end . That, combined with his pitiful heat tolerance, is probably why he's running on maybe two hours of sleep.

There are a handful of raw carrots on his plate, next to a few strips of old jerky that even Nick is leaving for last. It's going to be a long, long day, and he's not going to be getting much else until dinner, but John can't scrounge up any sort of appetite. He hasn't been hungry for what feels like days now, and his stomach barely tolerates anything more than water.

"Hey," Carmina asks, leaning into John's peripheral vision, "Can I have that?"

John doesn't know which part of his meal she's eying, but he slides the plate her way regardless. Kim watches him do it, openly frowning at him because she's also seen him picking around his food at every meal. So far, she hasn't said anything to him about it. Why would she? His lack of an appetite means that Carmina gets to have more. She can't possibly complain about that.

Nick is more vocal about his concern, furrowing his brow as he asks for the second time this morning, "You sure you're okay?"

"Yes," John replies once again. He's too tired to be exasperated, but he wishes Nick would knock it the fuck off, at least until after they leave. The last thing he needs right now is for Kim to hold some sort of intervention. Just in case, he qualifies his yes , choosing the most honest excuse he can this early in the morning. "I'm exhausted," he says. "I didn't get much sleep."

"Do you really wanna do this today, then? I mean, you said this thing was buried, and I don't wanna get stuck digging it out myself."

"I won't be any better rested tomorrow," John sighs, suppressing the yawn that tries to follow.

Nick doesn't look pleased, but he relents with a shrug. It isn't like they're going somewhere particularly dangerous, and even if they do happen to run into trouble, Fall's End will be within eyesight. The wildlife won't be much of a problem, and drifters are more common in the eastern part of the county, moving in from the 94 and occasionally trying to bully their way through. John's confident that they won't run into any trouble, even if he winds up passing out mid-dig.

John lets the rest of breakfast wash around him as he counts the minutes until they leave. He feels distinctly separated from the moment, the Rye family nothing more than white noise going in one ear and out the other. Silently dissociating around their idyllic family unit is still the norm, of course, but at least today he can blame it on too much heat and not enough sleep. Maybe he'll be able to get some rest in the truck, assuming Nick doesn't decide to test the suspension over every goddamn pothole.

Nick reluctantly says goodbye to Kim after breakfast, repeating it two or three times as Kim and Carmina see him off from the porch. John doesn't remember Nick as an anxious person; he doesn't know if there had always been long, uneasy goodbyes on the porch before work. The Collapse has turned most everybody into a paranoid mess, but maybe John just never knew Nick very well to begin with. He doesn't want to ask.

"Okay," Nick says once they're both buckled in, the windows cranked down. "You said we're looking for a silo outside of town?"

John waits until the truck lurches into drive to respond. "The silo was a convenient marker, but I doubt it's still there. I know where to look, though — assuming the landscape hasn't changed too dramatically."

"Well, let's hope so. I don't want to dig around for nothing."

"We both know who's going to be doing the digging."

"I thought it was gonna be you, until you nearly passed out at breakfast. Probably gonna leave me with the hard work like the selfish prick you are."

"I'll be fine," John replies, yawning unabashedly. He rests his head next to the open window, closing his eyes against the hot wind. "I've done more with less energy."

"Yeah, sure," Nick says, rolling his eyes hard enough that John can hear it in his voice. He waits a few beats for John to return the gentle banter, but John can't muster up the energy. He needs to save it all for the dig. It's going to be hard enough on Nick, who manages to sleep at night. John isn't expecting to have much left for anything else once this is all over. It'll be a miracle if he makes it back home.

Quickly figuring out that John isn't in the mood to talk, Nick falls quiet. There isn't a radio station to listen to, so he hums under his breath occasionally, gently swerving along the cracked asphalt to avoid potholes. He's usually happy to bounce through them, but John knows better than to think it's for his sake.

John opens his eyes briefly, just in time to see the washed out turn that once led towards the Ranch. He hasn't been back yet. He doesn't think he could bear asking the Ryes for permission, let alone see the place rotting in a field. Despite repeated assurances to Joseph that he didn't care about his stronghold, he had hand-picked the furniture, the paint, the bedding — all of it — and he had spared little expense. Now, all of his pride and poorly spent money has been abandoned, probably picked clean by scavengers over the harshest years. After all, the security systems he had dropped thousands of dollars into hadn't been able to stop a cop wielding a shotgun — he doubts they would do much to deter anybody now.

He should have listened to Jacob when he'd said it was a waste of time. Of course, John hadn't paid much attention to anything Jacob said unless it was directly related to the Project. Part of him wishes he'd made more of an effort to connect with his oldest brother, but he doubts that he would have made it to this side of the Collapse if he had.

Once he starts thinking about Jacob, it's hard to stop. It's not much of a surprise that his oldest brother is on his mind, considering how often his dreams are haunted by Jacob's presence. Thankfully, with the sun in the sky and the wind on his face, John's more inclined to remember him for who he was, instead of imagining him as the specter of his nightmares. There are no dark corners for him to lurk in, and for once John imagines him as the quiet, withdrawn man he was.

It might have been almost ten years ago, but John can still remember riding along in Jacob's truck, listening to him hum along with the radio. The heat had broken late in August that year, so while the heat had been awful when Jacob had picked him up, it hadn't wiped John completely out. Not that it would have mattered — Jacob had no patience for John's distaste of heat, and he would have forced the issue regardless.

He'd gotten a brisk call fifteen minutes before Jacob showed up at the Ranch, telling him to be ready. John hadn't known what to be ready for, but he'd stopped asking questions by this point — when Joseph or Jacob arrived unannounced, he would only follow after them and do whatever they asked. As long as he did that, they would mostly leave him to his own devices. It had been more freedom than John had ever had in his life.

"You're positive nobody saw them," Jacob reiterates from the driver's seat. The memory of his voice bounces like an echo in John's skull.

"Of course I am," John remembers saying. He remembers being exasperated. Frustrated that even Jacob didn't trust him with menial tasks anymore. He had understood Joseph's distrust, had it explained plainly to him, but Jacob wouldn't even give him the chance to earn back the trust he'd somehow managed to lose. "Not that it matters," he remembers adding. "What can they do? It's our property. We could bury a plane there and they wouldn't be able to stop us."

Jacob's heavy sigh belies his irritation. "That's not always going to be the case. We don't know how the Reaping will go. Or the Collapse. You don't know what will be the last straw."

He'd been stressed. In two weeks, the Reaping would begin, but for now, Jacob's only concern is maintaining a steady flow of willing and able soldiers. He'd been irritable all the time, ever since he and Eli had fallen out, getting short with everybody, even Joseph, who allowed Jacob to be openly insubordinate even while punishing John for the same crime. The main problem in the weeks before the Reaping had been the slowing influx of soldiers making it through the trials. Lots of people had made it through at first. Nowadays, the conversion rate has dipped significantly. Jacob says it's because the people aren't strong enough, but John has a suspicion that it might have something to do with the Bliss, which has become more potent and arguably more toxic since Rachel's arrival as Faith. John hasn't brought up his concerns yet, because nobody has bothered to ask for his opinion. He will never get the chance to find out if he was right.

"John," Jacob's voice calls from the far away driver's seat. He sounds deeply, strangely concerned. "I'm trying to save you."

The words aren't right at all. John's body feels heavy in his seat, the hot air scratching at his face through the window. Where is he? They're on their way, but where?

The next thing Jacob says is achingly familiar, down to his tired inflection. "Joseph is worried about you," he says. "He still worries about your commitment."

It had been a warning, clear as day, and at the time it had filled John with a deep dread. But now, John feels nothing. Let Joseph be disappointed in him. Let him regret ever bringing John back into his life. John hopes it's a bitter pill he chokes on.

John had been on the defensive that day, scoffing loudly and snapping, "And yet, I'm the one converting the faithless." But the defensiveness is missing in the words. The people he'd been using like points against his brother are all dead now, and bragging about the things he'd done only roils his stomach.

"I don't think it's about converting people." Jacob reaches for the rear-view mirror, checking it for the umpteenth time as the truck trundles towards the distant silo. "Forget the religious bullshit for a minute. What we're doing, what's going to happen — we can't afford mistakes. We have to be prepared for every possibility. You understand that, don't you?"

"Nobody saw them," John sighs. "I promise ."

"Good," Jacob mutters. He takes a deep breath, holds it, and lets it out.

"Honestly, though. There are caches all over the county. I don't remember you being so particular about the last dozen drop points I organized."

At first, Jacob hadn't responded. John had thought at the time that it was because he was tired of having to explain his every move to someone as soft and short-sighted as John. He'd figured, as he always had, that Jacob saw him as nothing but the PR arm of the Project, kept around out of blood loyalty and nothing else. He would grimace whenever John mentioned atonement, mentioned his hard work, and John had suspected he thought it was beneath him.

But now John wonders if that's all there was to it.

"I'm trying to cover for every possibility," Jacob says. "That's all. It'd be good if you could help me."

"I did help," John retorts. "I do help. I do everything Joseph asks me to, and I don't complain about it. I don't complain when you order my men and me around, either, even though that was never part of the deal."

Jacob clicks his tongue against his teeth. He's checking the mirrors again, all of them. John remembers him checking the glove-box during their conversation, but he doesn't do that now. It hadn't mattered — there hadn't been anything in there — but John remembers it being very, very strange. The glove-box hangs open for a moment in his memory, as he looks through the windshield and spots the tall, bright red silo down the road.

"I wish you would plan ahead for yourself," Jacob says at last. "Stop taking orders and start taking initiative."

John huffs. "You've seen how well Joseph responds to that."

"Yeah," Jacob replies. John had been too arrogant to realize at the time that Jacob was commiserating with him, leaving him feeling deeply guilty now.

"He's convinced that the Reaping is going to begin any time now," John continues, ignoring Jacob's visible-in-hindsight unease. "Do we really have time to be burying barrels of ammunition? Or is this your newest plan to stick it to Eli?"

"It's for after the Reaping," Jacob says.

"A whole lot of good it does us this far from the bunkers."

Jacob had a real response for John, once. It had even satisfied him, at least enough to stop his complaining. But John doesn't remember what Jacob's reasoning had been; all he has is his exhausted brain struggling to stitch together the memory.

"There's so much you don't know. That you'll never find out." Jacob reaches out, his hand resting on John's shoulder, but there's no physical connection. John can't feel the weight of his hand, and for a dizzying moment the world around him turns smudged and blurry. There's a distinct melancholy in the words that Jacob never exhibited. "You know that I didn't believe any of it."

The weight on his shoulder comes out of nowhere, startling John awake as Nick calls his name. He kicks the dashboard as he jolts upright, and Nick leans back as he flings his hands out to steady himself.

"Shit," he gasps, grabbing the door handle. One disorienting glance is all John needs to realize where he is; Nick has pulled up just past the church, and the late summer heat of the apocalyptic landscape reasserts itself as reality once more.

"Sorry," Nick says. "I just, uh... need some directions from here."

"Yes," John replies. The urge to bolt from the truck is overwhelming, but John clings to the door and manages to stay in his seat. "Of course."

They sit for a minute before Nick awkwardly prompts, "Uh... Well?"

John desperately attempts to reorient himself, still stuck in the fog of his dream. "There should be a left turn up ahead. The silo was in a field on the right side of the road, just before the turnout before Larry Parker's house."

"God, talk about whack-jobs," Nick mutters as he pulls ahead. The intersection is mostly washed out now, barely distinguishable from the dunes that have formed over the fields, but Nick has a local's muscle memory. "I mean, I believe in aliens as much as the next guy, but Jesus . You hear what happened to him?"

"Not specifically. I assumed he was killed in the Reaping or the Collapse." Despite himself, John finds his curiosity piqued. "Why? Was I wrong?"

"I mean... I guess it's up to your interpretation." Nick doesn't bother to ease around the potholes now that John is awake, bumping them down along the cracked asphalt. "So, the way Dep told me, they went to go check up on Larry, y'know, make sure he's okay. Larry's got his weird-ass machines going, and he's talkin' about aliens and shit, as he usually is, and Dep keeps going, 'Larry, there's no time for aliens, there are cultists coming for you!' But, of course Larry pushes the point until Dep caves, like, 'Fine, let's fix the generator first, then we can run from the cult.'

"Except the cult rolled up right on top of them before they could patch everything up. Of course, Dep manages to clear them out, and Larry gets his machine working in the meantime. He says, 'help me get to Mars, Deputy!' and they figure, 'hey, might as well humor him.' I mean, what else can you do when the guy you're trying to evacuate insists he's got a fast pass to outer space?"

"Is this honestly what the Deputy was dealing with while we were in the middle of seizing the Valley and its resources?" John asks. He probably shouldn't be surprised, but really . Larry Parker's life couldn't possibly have been worth all the effort involved.

"I guess," Nick shrugs. "People were asking them to do all sorts of weird shit. So, anyway, Larry says so long to Dep and to Earth, and tells Dep to flip the switch. Dep decides that the sooner Larry realizes this isn't going to work, the better, so they turn the machine on the way Larry told them to, and, well, long story short, I guess the thing vaporized the poor guy."

However the story was supposed to end, that hadn't been what John expected. His disbelief is momentarily overwhelming, and he can't help but choke out, " Excuse me?"

Nick shrugs. "I mean, that's what Dep told me later. They were real bummed out about it, too. I guess that makes sense, since they felt responsible. But, at the same time... he said it was a teleporter, right? So maybe he wasn't vaporized at all. Maybe he really did get zapped to Mars."

"The choices are 'vaporized' or 'teleported to Mars'? Are you serious?"

"I guess Dep could have been bullshitting me, but it fits with what I remember about the guy."

John frowns. "I suppose either option is better than what happened to the rest of us," he says, "Although realistically, the man was one paranoid delusion away from assassinating a government official. I don't think he was nearly as technologically savvy as he professed himself to be."

"He wasn't that bad," Nick says as he shakes his head. "He was just some kook who believed in aliens more than people. And, well... I mean, if he really did make it to Mars, then we probably look like a bunch of assholes from wherever he's sitting." He sighs, then admits, "I wish I could've gone to Mars. I bet Kim would like it there."

" Why ?"

"I dunno, she always wanted to go on foreign trips and stuff. Can't get much more foreign than outer space." He hums thoughtfully, then says, "I guess she would've been pregnant, though, and if you can't fly with a pregnant lady, I bet you can't vaporize them either."

John takes a deep breath through his nose before he responds, reminding himself that he owes Nick his life. "That's a logical assumption," he manages to say, proud of his nearly-neutral delivery.

"Oh, shut up," Nick snaps, although he doesn't seem particularly upset by John's back-talk. "I'm just saying, if that's what would happen. It's not like I'm gonna go hot-wire the thing and test it out now ."

"I certainly hope not. There's no way I'm explaining that to the bloodthirsty mob that comes for me after you've disintegrated."

They've nearly reached the end of the road. John can see the T-shaped intersection coming up ahead, but he doesn't immediately recognize the right-hand field. A copse of pine trees have put down roots, and although John can see the skeletal framework of the hay storage, there's no sign of the silo that once marked the spot. John doesn't know if it was destroyed during the Reaping or in the Collapse. It doesn't really matter — everything it held has long since rotted away.

"Here?" Nick asks as they roll to the end of the road. John remembers Jacob slowing along the empty field; he had barely come to a stop to investigate the location. It had been around here that Jacob had checked the tilled soil for any hint at what lay underneath. He'd seemed content with how John's people had handled it, leaving the field as unassuming and untouched as they had found it.

If there had been any hint left behind in the silo or the hay storage, it's been wiped from the face of the planet. Long, sun-bleached panels of what used to be a silo lay scattered across the ground, weather-beaten past their use. Some pieces are pinned in place by the nine-year tree growth, never to be moved again. It's a struggle for John to envision the spot as it used to be, but there's no doubt that this is the right place.

"Yes," John says. "This is it."

Nick puts the truck in park and climbs out of the cab. John waits a moment longer, hoping to spot some hidden bump or curve that would indicate where to dig, but of course nothing reveals itself. He should have paid more attention. At the very least, he should have paid more attention to Jacob's diatribes about preparedness. Maybe he would be able to determine exactly where to start if he had.

John's nerves ease as he steps out of the car and stands at the edge of the worn-out road. It doesn't matter if he doesn't remember the exact spot — there's always been an element of gut instinct in understanding Jacob's methods, and John has plenty of that to rely on in lieu of real information. If he has to waste his time out here, then he might as well try to waste it productively.

He meanders a bit along the shoulder, then takes ten paces onto the field. Instinct has him go another twenty steps, until he's halfway between the truck and the hay storage. "Here, I think," he calls out to Nick, who's wandered ahead to explore the wreckage.

"Are you sure?" Nick asks as he passes John, returning to the truck for the shovels. "I don't wanna be digging holes all day like some kind of Stanley Yelnats."

" I'll be the one digging," John replies tepidly. "I don't need your help."

"What else am I gonna do, sit around and watch you all day? C'mon, let's get to work."

Really, John had expected as much. Nick can't leave things alone, and he can't resist giving whatever help he can. Long ago, John had figured it was a sign of Nick's obsessive need for control, something dark to be manipulated hidden under a folksy veneer. He had never considered that Nick's stubborn helpfulness had really been a coping mechanism for some long-standing anxiety. Even now, knowing full well that Nick's biggest worry is seeming unhelpful, John struggles to accept it. It still rubs him the wrong way when Nick insists on giving him a hand on some menial task that he ordered John to do in the first place.

Digging a three-foot hole is easier with two people, though, so of course John doesn't argue. The two of them hit a rhythm pretty quickly, although John's lack of sleep is slowing him down. Normally, the beat of manual labor is the only thing that helps empty out his mind, getting him as close to meditation as possible these days. For the first few months with the Ryes, it had been the only tangible comfort he had. He could disengage mentally while performing simple tasks with visible results, then ascribe to them penance for any one of his crimes. Even now, John can't help but wonder which sin he's paying for as he buries the spade into the ground.

They dig three feet down before John calls it. "Okay, fine ," he hisses through gritted teeth. "It's close to here. Maybe..."

John ignores Nick's theatrical sigh as he takes a few paces to the left and begins all over again. Of course, it doesn't take long before Nick joins back in.

"Maybe we should hunt down a metal detector," Nick suggests when the second hole reveals nothing.

"Sure, Nick," John snaps, "Add that to the other rational shit on your wife's shopping list."

"Jesus, it was just a joke."

John is far too hot, tired and sweaty to handle any jokes right now, much less from somebody he's trying to help. If Nick thinks John is digging around under the blazing sun just for his own enjoyment, then he can go fuck himself.

Even with John's attitude tanking rapidly, Nick continues to help him dig another hole and a half. His help only makes the defeat sting worse when John has finally had enough. He has no energy left, which makes flopping down on the dirt as easy as giving up. He buries his sweaty, sunburned face into his dirty hands, unable to hold back a groan.

"God damn it."

"What, that's it?" Nick huffs, pushing his hat back to wipe at his sweating forehead. He's using his shovel as a prop, and no amount of bravado can hide how much John's wild goose chase has worn him down. "You're just giving up?"

" No ," John spits, despite that being exactly what he's doing. "I just need a fucking break ."

There was a time when Nick would have punched him for being so miserable, but he doesn't even comment on it today. Somehow, it manages to make John feel worse, as though Nick's pity is fueling his fiery self-loathing. Nothing helps, especially not when Nick jabs his shovel into the dirt and offers John an excuse. "Probably need something to eat," he says. "Some water, or something. Look... just stay there, okay? I got a canteen in the truck, it'll just take a second."

The most response John can offer up is an affirmative grunt. He drops his hands from his face, watching Nick retreat to the truck before turning his eyes on the derelict storage in the opposite direction. He should have known better. He should have known that it would be impossible to find the cache without Jacob's help. Other than a set of probably mis-remembered coordinates and a gut sensation of being so close , John is flying completely blind. Why the hell hadn't he known any better? He could have saved them the time, gas and disappointment, if only he'd just kept his stupid mouth shut.

He guesses it must be progress that he's blaming himself and not Kim, whose insomnia kicked this whole thing off. It doesn't feel like much to show.

The wind changes direction, finally sending the few clouds in the sky drifting past the sun. The breeze picks up, sending a ripple of noise through the young pines. Pink-flowered vines creep through the roots of the trees and up the metal legs of the shed, twisting and choking the rest of the weeds just like they do everywhere else. Despite them being a mysterious, invasive species, they soften the landscape, lending a pink sugar-coating to the wasteland. John watches the blossoms bob in the breeze and thinks that Joseph might have been wrong about a lot of things, but he hadn't been too far off in declaring Hope County a promising garden.

The flowers look so much like the ones that had decorated the hem of Faith's dress that it's impossible not to think about her. John remembers the silk blossoms stitched onto lace, trying to conceal the ripped hem. There had been a dozen women who had tried to take on the mantle left behind by Joseph's wife, but now the only one John can imagine is Rachel, dancing in the sunlight. Even now he sees her swaying along with the wind, although he only has to blink for the vision to fade. A dozen women hadn't made the same impression that Rachel had. They hadn't been as proactive as her when it came to the Path, and they couldn't hold a candle to her wide-eyed understanding of the Bliss. None of them had adopted themselves as a sister into the family, turning quickly into the golden child that Joseph could praise over all others. They'd tried to fill the shoes of a dead woman that they couldn't hold a candle to. Rachel had been much, much smarter than that.

After all, none of those women haunt the landscape the way Rachel does. John, tired as he is, can almost hear her playfully humming on the breeze. She would sing in his bunker, vibrant and full-throated hymns written by dead followers, but now he only ever imagines the quietest tunes. Faith always seemed to be everywhere at once, thanks to the Bliss, but now she only seems to exist where John's memory allows.

Although the music fades as quickly as it came, John feels it echoing inside him. He closes his eyes against the bright afternoon light, but that doesn't do much to ease the pounding headache that's swiftly developing. He can feel his pulse against the hard-packed dirt when he drops his hands to the ground. Faith's laughter in his mind is quiet and playfully condescending as he's overwhelmed by the urge to stagger to the safety of the trees.

Nick abruptly appears in front of John, his worried face hidden under his hat. "Let's get you into the shade," he says, his voice warped by the blood rushing through John's ears. Nothing improves as Nick helps him to his feet and drags him under the shady pines. His head pounds as he collapses against one of the trees; when Nick puts the canteen in his hands, he takes a few grateful pulls of warm water until the headache begins to recede.

"Goddamn it, John," Nick says. "You have got to knock this shit off. You can't keep pushing yourself until you get sick. What am I supposed to do if you get heatstroke? Do you think we have unlimited supplies to keep dealing with your bullshit? I can't keep taking care of you."

"Whatever," John croaks. "I'm fine. I just need a minute."

"You can't seriously think I'm going to let you keep going. You must be delirious."

Taking one more long drink of water, John finally drops the canteen into his lap. "You don't understand," he rasps. "I'm not — it's here. I know it is, I just..."

Nick waits a beat before he takes up where John trails off. " You need to rest. You think Kim and I don't notice you're not eating or sleeping again? Hell, even Carmina notices, and she doesn't give a shit about you. How exactly are you supposed to be any use to us if you're like this all the time?"

John scowls, but he doesn't respond. How can he? Nick is right.

When all he gets is silence, Nick finally heaves a tired sigh and crouches down to John's level. "Look, we'll compromise, okay?" he suggests, with a tone he usually reserves for Carmina. "You're gonna rest here for me, and I'm gonna go dig another hole for you. If I don't find anything, we'll go back home and try again once you're better prepared."

He should resent Nick for treating him like a child, but John can only surrender with a weary nod. "I promise it's here," he says, hating how audible his misery is. "I know it is."

Nick scratches his brow. "I believe you," he says, although John doubts his sincerity. "We're gonna find it — maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but we'll do it. You, uh, want me to keep digging where we were, or..."

John sighs, slumping against the tree. "Yeah," he rasps. "Sure."

It's a miserable feeling, knowing that he's sending Nick on a wild goose chase, but John doesn't stop the other man from heading back out into the sun. He watches Nick pick a spot at seemingly random, drifting in and out as he waits for Nick to give up. He wouldn't even have to dig a full three feet before writing the whole thing off as one of John's delusions. John wishes Nick were that kind of man.

There's nothing there. That much is obvious when Nick finally stops digging, knee-deep in the hole and scrubbing furiously at his forehead. John knows just enough about Nick to suspect he'd genuinely hoped to find it — which just makes the defeat that much worse. John is used to disappointing himself, but letting Nick down stings.

"It's fine," John rasps when Nick returns, not waiting for platitudes or empty reassurances. "Let's just go."

Nick helps John to his feet again, and to make things worse, he keeps making suggestions. "Maybe we can find a tractor that still works. I bet there's probably a back-hoe somewhere in the county we could fix up. That might make it easier, right?"

They cut through the trees to reach the road, and John covers his eyes as they move back into the bright light. He turns back to look at the empty holes they've left behind — and for just a second, he can clearly see the bright red silo where it once stood. It's only a fleeting glimpse of the past, but it's as clear as if he were staring at it from Jacob's truck, enjoying the air conditioning while ignoring Jacob as he says, "So long as we're prepared, we can always start again."

"Wait," John says. "Hold on."

"Come on," Nick groans loudly, "It's hot, I'm tired, and this is getting depressing ."

John rolls his eyes, grabbing one of the shovels from the truck before Nick can stop him. "Fine," he says, "Go home, then."

"For God's sake..."

John ignores Nick as he takes five quick paces forward, turning and staring at the nonexistent silo. It hadn't been here, it had been...

The spot is mostly random, but as John drives the shovel into the dirt, he feels suddenly vindicated . He'd been thrown off by the trees, and it's hard to see just where the road ends these days, and of course he doesn't have the silo's long shadow to guide him. But now he knows better, and he isn't going to make the same mistakes again.

Nick pitches in, because of course he does. Even worse, he does it without complaint. Still, John needs the help; his burst of adrenaline has faded, leaving him to rapidly flag behind until Nick is picking up his slack. They don't talk as they dig, even as time wears on without any indication of them being in the right place. John doesn't think he has the energy to chat, and Nick probably just wants to yell at him, so silence is their best option. This hole could be as pointless as every other one they've dug today, but blind faith pushes John on to dig just a little deeper, just a little longer.

They hit three feet without finding anything. John twists the shovel between his palms, the tip churning the dirt.

"Okay, now are you satisfied?" Nick asks, flopping to the ground beside their latest waste of time. "Are you ready to wrap it up for today, or...?"

John shakes his head, not even realizing he's doing it. He doesn't even know what he's rejecting — the idea of giving up, or the idea that they might come back out here? Why the hell should they? Just because John thinks he might remember a cache of weapons Jacob buried a decade ago? What good would it even do, finding it now? Kim's already made it clear that they don't want more weapons. They want food, they want peace of mind, they want things to be the way they were . There is nothing that Eden's Gate could possibly give them that could help.

Nick slides closer, brow furrowed. "John," he says."

"I know ," John snaps, "I'm sorry . This was a waste of time. Forget it."

Picking up his abandoned shovel, Nick jabs the scoop into the hole, aiming for the wall beneath John's feet, and the motion is met with a metallic thunk . As John steps around for a better look, Nick taps the shovel upwards, until the scoop slides between the flash of half-hidden metal and the undisturbed earth above it. There's no mistaking the green enamel barrel that's revealed as the dirt falls away.

Dropping into the hole, John takes Nick's shovel and begins to heave the dirt away, scraping the scoop along the sides of the metal container until it's half-exposed in the ground. John can't help a triumphant shout as he reveals it, like a paleontologist discovering an unknown species.

Nick grabs the second shovel and pitches in, making short work of the dirt John can't reach. The steel drum is two feet tall and a foot or so wide, and John recognizes it from the Bliss packaging plant. Thankfully, it doesn't have a tight-head lid that implies the cannister is full of drugs. It looks utterly untouched, save for a few scratches from their shovels; the rubber sealant sprayed around the lid hasn't even cracked.

"Well, shit," Nick says, staring down at the barrel in open disbelief.

"I told you," John pants, vindicated. "I told you."

"Yeah, you sure did," Nick agrees, bobbing his head. "So... uh, what now? Do we open it up here, or take it home?"

John runs a hand over the glossy paint. As much as he wants to open it now, he can't help but remember Jacob's paranoia, reminded momentarily of how he had checked over and over for any spies or tails they might've gained while driving.

"It might be best to take it somewhere... less open," John points out. "We have no idea what's inside."

"Oh. Yeah, you're probably right."

It takes some finessing, but the two of them manage to wrestle the barrel out of the hole and, eventually, into the truck bed. Nick cranks the air conditioning as soon as he turns on the car, and John thankfully slumps into his seat as the cold air washes over him. After making a loose U-turn that narrowly misses the hole, Nick shakes the canteen in John's direction.

"Kim's gonna be pissed if she finds out I left you out in the sun like that," he says. "Try to get a hold of yourself before we get back, okay?"

Nick is terrible at sounding callous, but John isn't going to tell him as much. "Don't worry," he sighs. "I don't want her to know any more than you."

The drive back is mostly free of potholes, thanks to Nick's careful driving. John can't help but reaffirm the cache's existence every few minutes, checking the rear-view mirror to ensure it hasn't fallen out or disappeared like so many figments of his imagination have. He wonders what's inside. Certainly ammunition and weapons, but what else? Jacob had always been prepared for disasters, so it could have emergency kits or expired food rations. There will probably be money, too, although that won't help them now.

If Nick is also wondering, he keeps it to himself. He's relaxed in his seat, one arm hanging out his window, fingers occasionally tapping aimlessly against the door. He'll probably be satisfied no matter what Jacob decided to squirrel away, so long as it's not rotten food and Project propaganda. If that turns out to be the case, John will burn the contents himself.

The sun has half-set by the time they return to the Rye homestead. Nobody is waiting anxiously for their return, but it doesn't take long for Kim to come around the side of the house. She whistles appreciatively as the two men maneuver the barrel out of the bed.

"You guys actually found it!" she exclaims. "I thought it would take at least a few days."

"We got lucky," Nick replies. He doesn't mention how many holes they had to dig, or how rough the going had gotten near the end. John hopes that he looks better than he feels, at least to keep Kim from lecturing them.

Even though the cache is only about eighty or ninety pounds, it takes some careful footwork for the two men to carry it inside without dropping it. By the time they set the barrel down next to the table, Carmina has claimed one of the chairs, standing on it for a better look. Nick doubles back to the truck and returns with a crowbar, which will hopefully be enough to pry off the lid.

"What's inside?" Carmina asks, grabbing the back of the chair as she cranes forward.

"Well, hold on," Nick sighs, "Let me figure this out."

Unlike the barrels John remembers, this one isn't sealed with a tight-head valve at the top. Instead, it looks as though the lid had been hammered down into place, and then sprayed with rubber sealant to prevent gaps. It takes Nick a few tries to bury the crowbar's teeth under the lid, but he's rewarded by a satisfying groan of metal. The seal finally gives as part of the lid warps under the force.

Nick peels the lid back and John's heart leaps into his throat. Part of him expects a cloud of Bliss, or some kind of bomb, or a countdown to a new Armageddon. But there's no bomb, no Mist, no doomsday clock. Instead, John finds himself looking down at a bundle of nondescript green canvas, packed tightly alongside a cylindrical nylon bag.

" Well ?" Carmina asks.

John glances at Kim and Nick, only to find them staring back at him. It's as much an order as a request for help, and John steels himself before reaching in and grabbing the fabric. He recognizes the generic duffel bag as soon as he pulls it out — they had been ordered in bulk for the Project before they'd even reached Montana. While it isn't full, it definitely carries most of the cache's weight, and John has to adjust his grip as he sets it out on the table.

With the pack out of the way, Nick is less cautious about poking around in the remaining supplies. He takes the nylon bag out next, rattling the contents thoughtfully. "I think we've got a tent, here," he says, pulling open the drawstring to check. "Yeah, poles, stakes and everything."

There are two cardboard boxes inside, and Kim pulls out one at a time. "I think these are... rations?" she suggests, setting the boxes down next to the unopened bag. "That's what the packaging says, anyway. And this one, the heavier one? It's completely taped up."

"Could be dangerous," Nick suggests as Kim goes back to check for any remaining contents.

John stares at the duffel bag, his fingers feeling clumsy on the zipper tab. None of this feels right. Just how many times had he seen Jacob take bags like this one to his truck? How many of those had been full of supplies for a back-up plan he had never been made aware of? There's no sign of the Project so far, but John can't imagine that will last. What is he going to do when he reveals a bag full of propaganda in front of Carmina? There's no way Kim and Nick will believe he didn't know.

Careful not to rip the fabric, John steels himself with a breath and yanks on the zipper. He expects guns and ammunition, or copies of Joseph's book, or intel that would have been vital for rebuilding after the Collapse. Instead, John finds silver mylar bags, packed nearly to bursting, each one labeled in permanent marker. One reads "RICE (3LB, KEEP)," while another says "POTATO (.5LB, KEEP)" — and still another bag, this one with one clear side, has two cartons of instant coffee sealed inside.

There are guns, too, although not nearly enough. John is careful as he sets out the two .45 pistols tucked into the canvas, along with two boxes of matching ammunition and a few more boxes of miscellaneous shells that might come in handy. He inspects every box for any sign of the Project, but everything is utterly nondescript. Jacob might as well have picked these supplies up at a sporting goods store.

He keeps pulling things out until the bag is empty and the items are laid out across the table for the Ryes to see. Not only does John find more food, but he also finds a crank flashlight and a pair of binoculars, two bundles of paracord, a roll of unused duct tape, two sealed cartons of cigarettes, two pristine hunting knives and a deck of playing cards. The biggest surprise is the fact that Jacob risked packing away two bottles of unlabeled alcohol in a dry cache, but then again, Jacob had always had a soft spot for liquor. They'd been wrapped in plastic wrap and taped up tight, so if they leaked, it hasn't affected the other supplies.

There's more food than ammunition, John realizes. Rice, sugar, instant coffee, dry beef stock, not to mention the miscellaneous array of military rations that have been packed into every nook and cranny. It's hardly a cache. It's more like a squirrel's stockpile for a long winter.

"Did you guys see this?" Kim asks, leaning over Carmina to lay a small nylon pack on the table. She opens it carefully, revealing a tri-folded emergency pack stuffed with medical supplies. One use antiseptic wipes, gauze, bandages and more, all still in its factory packaging. John remembers seeing them stocked at Lorna's ages ago. It's the kind of emergency kit that tourists would buy once they realized just how unprepared they were for rural Montana.

"I thought this was supposed to be for the cult," Nick says, frowning at the supplies spread out on the table. "But most of this is stuff you'd get at the store. There's not even one of those fake Bibles in here or anything ."

"That's what he told me it was," John replies, although it feels uneasily close to a lie. "...At least, that's what I assumed. He had my people handle it, he shared its location with me... It had to be for the Project." Saying it aloud doesn't make him feel any more certain, but he can't imagine what else Jacob could have been planning. "What does it matter?" he quickly deflects, gesturing towards the eighty-some pounds of supplies. "Who cares what he was planning. It's yours now."

Unlike her parents, Carmina doesn't need to be told twice. She immediately drags the box of military rations closer to her chair, eager to devour any new literature, even if it's nutritional information and website reviews. Nick takes one of the knives and uses it to slice open the heavily taped box that they still haven't investigated. John can't imagine that it could be anything dangerous, given the rest of the cache's contents, but that doesn't mean he's any less on edge.

"Uh... huh," Nick says once he finally cracks the box open. "It's just more of the same. 'Two pounds rice, barter.' 'Two pounds sugar, barter.' But didn't he already pack some rice in the bag?"

Carmina points her finger at the offending bag. "It says 'keep' on it."

"I thought you guys were going to be the only survivors," Nick wonders, frowning heavily at John. "I mean, those weirdos have been keeping to themselves since they came back. And I got the impression that you weren't gonna be friendly neighbors ."

"There weren't supposed to be neighbors," John replies. "Anyone outside of the Project who survived were our enemies. This should have been..." He gestures helplessly, unable to figure out what Jacob should have squirreled away for the end of the world. "It should have been weapons. Project intelligence. None of this would have mattered if things had gone the way they were meant to. I don't — I don't know what he was planning with this."

Or maybe, he hadn't been listening when Jacob had talked about starting over.

"This... is too much," Kim says, tearing John away from that horrible thought before it can take hold. "Right? This is too much for us. We can't possibly keep it all."

"Excuse me?" John asks, unable to mask how deeply the comment offends him. "You're joking . I went through all of this for you ." He points at the sugar, the salt, and says accusingly, "These were on your list!"

"That's not what I mean, John."

John is getting sick and tired of being treated like a child today, but that doesn't mean he appreciates it when Nick takes the opposite route. "Don't be a baby," he groans. "You know what she meant."

"We'll keep what we need," Kim offers, "But we can't keep everything . It wouldn't be fair."

"And it'll look bad if we're the only ones who benefit," Nick adds. "They'll know it's because of you, and the cult, and they'll get the wrong idea. They might've shut up for now, but we don't know how long that'll last."

It's hard to fight the urge to run from the conversation, if only to keep himself from saying something stupid, but John manages to stay rooted to the spot. They're right, after all. They can't expect other people to turn a blind eye to anything beneficial John provides. Hell, he has no doubt somebody noticed them driving today. Somebody had to have seen them out in the dirt. It would only take a quick trip to find the holes they'd left behind.

"Yes," he mutters at last. It comes as a relief, followed immediately by his own admission. "You're both right. I know that."

Nick clearly expected more of a fight, if his relieved expression is anything to go by. "Good. Okay." He grabs one of the mylar bags as he sits, which holds two cartons of instant coffee. For a moment, he only stares at the red plastic through the clear side of the bag, and then he sighs. "Of course, now I wanna keep it all."

"We can keep the coffee," Kim says. "Or, well... we can keep some of it. We should probably give the rest up..."

It seems that doing the right thing in this situation has left the Ryes at a loss. Really, it shouldn't be a surprise. Even for a small cache, these are a lot of supplies, and there are no clear benefits to divvying it up in any particular way. On top of that, there had never been much structure to the Valley's resistance — unlike the Whitetails, people in the valley had relied on guerrilla tactics and appropriating the cult's infrastructure for their own use. The fight here had been over before they'd had time to organize.

"Well, I guess we give away whatever says 'barter' on it," Nick finally says. "And... I dunno. I mean, Jacob was meticulous as hell, right? Wouldn't he have known what to keep? Why did he only want to trade this stuff?"

"I don't know ," John snaps. "It isn't as though he planned for this. I have no idea what he would have done. I don't know why he thought to bury this shit in a field! If this was going to be a backup plan, then there should be money, passports, blackmail — something to help him get out of trouble. Not — not cooking supplies and playing cards . This isn't what he was supposed to be doing with his time!"

The realization that John had never really known Jacob cuts deeper than he'll ever admit. John breathes hard through his nose, trying desperately to grab hold of his ballooning anger. He'd known Jacob hadn't taken the religious aspect of the Project seriously, but that hadn't meant he didn't believe in the Project's end goal. He'd been more integral to their success than John, for God's sake! The bunkers had been his idea!

But Jacob had been pragmatic. If he had felt even a twinge of doubt, he would have made plans to account for it. But if that were the case, why would he have shown his hand to John like he had, when John had been so deeply entrenched? Why risk Joseph finding out? Why not play this as close to his chest as John had played all of his own secret betrayals?

"I don't know what he would do," John manages to say. There's a tangled knot of emotion balled up inside his chest, but like so many other things, he forcibly sidelines it. "It doesn't matter what he wanted. He's dead now. All of it is yours."

Kim hears his voice catch, it's clear from her expression, but she thankfully doesn't comment on it. "Well, let's think about it logically," she says. "For one, I think Grace could use some of the ammunition. She might appreciate some coffee, too, Nick."

"Yeah, I guess," Nick says mournfully. "There are two boxes, after all."

Kim chews thoughtfully on her lip, then pivots towards John. "You had to deal with directing resources, right?" she asks. "I remember all of the deliveries coming in and out of the Ranch."

"They won't trust any decisions I make," John replies, trying to cut the suggestion off at the head.

"I'm sure they wouldn't, but I'm not asking for you to make a decision. Just... You know more about this than we do, and I want your input."

John frowns, looking towards Nick for an objection. Unfortunately, Nick doesn't have one, although he doesn't look happy about Kim's request.

Sighing, John considers the groups they need to satisfy. Between Grace, the town, the trailer park and themselves, it's unlikely they'll have much to store, but a surplus would be ideal in case they need to bargain with people coming in from the west. John doesn't like the idea of giving the weapons away, but they would be an easy way to ingratiate the Ryes to anyone still upset at them for taking him in. He wants nothing more than to keep the alcohol and cigarettes, but those would be better as bargaining chips.

He starts by breaking the ammunition up, followed by the mylar bags, until the random array on the tabletop begins to separate out into four distinct piles. Seeing the resources shift in real time is the easiest way to ensure things are balanced, but John remains fully aware of the three sets of eyes on him as he begins to take over the table. While Kim and Carmina move to give John more space, Nick remains seated the entire time, his arms crossed and his eyes on the food that John is moving from one pile to another. He's clearly worried that the family will wind up with too little. He probably feels guilty that he wants to take more from others who could use the supplies.

When he's mostly finished, John has five piles organized across the table — one for each group, plus one comprised of larger bags they'll need to separate. Hopefully, they won't comment on how much he's chosen to keep for them — if they disagree with his decisions, they can wait until he escapes for the night to argue about it.

Kim had been right, though. John had been the one to schedule deliveries, redirect supplies and organize Reaping trucks; hopefully they can appreciate his choices, even if they decide not to listen to him.

"Here's what we have," he says. "The ammunition is split between everyone, as well as the rations. Given the town's location and size, they'll be better off with basic ingredients. They already have hunting equipment and usable cookware. We haven't seen the trailer park, but it's in hostile territory, and I don't think they dedicate time to cooking, so we give them more rations to make up for it. The cigarettes will be a gesture of goodwill, and they can use the sugar more than any one group. At the very least, it means they won't be ingesting straight ethanol for a few days."

Nick sniffs loudly, but neither he nor Kim interrupt, so John pushes forward. "You keep the components," he explains, "But give Grace the knives and whatever ammunition she needs. We can split the rice evenly, but it won't be very much. It would be better to keep it for ourselves, or else give it to one group alone."

"Still seems like a lot is left for us," Kim points out.

"Then you give the rest of it away," John says through gritted teeth. "I did what you asked me to do. This is what makes sense."

Kim nods. "You did, and I appreciate it."

John wishes she would appreciate what Jacob did instead, but he holds the comment back. It's his exhaustion talking, or the long day, or the lingering headache from the heat. None of those things are worth risking the shred of goodwill he's garnered with the Ryes. And the longer he hangs around here, the more likely it is that Nick or Kim will do something to really upset him.

"If that's everything, then it's been a long day. I need some..." Space , he wants to say, but he can only tiredly commit to, "I need some air."

"Sure," Kim says. She tries to mask her pity, but there's no hiding it. "Just don't go too far. Dinner's almost ready."

As if John is going to eat anything. But he keeps that comment to himself as well, knowing that it'll just start a fight that he's too tired to win. Besides, watching the Ryes go through Jacob's supplies and divvy them out the way they'd prefer might be too much for him to handle right now. He needs to put some distance between himself and his brother, even if it's only the short walk to the front porch.

[klanced]

If Adam adopts Keith, does he live with him or like?? Does he stick on a moustache and go "sneak food from the kitchen for ur shack lmao"

OKAY so I am retconning some of my lore LMFAO. Here’s the gist of Keith’s legal status, which will hopefully answer some questions I had such as, “Does Keith have a social security number?”

For the purpose of this universe I’m having there be multiple established alien communities on Earth because I like to think that, with Zarkon conquering the entire universe, all space-faring communities fled their conquered planets and headed towards areas of space Zarkon hadn’t reached yet, looking for populations they could blend in with. Earth is one such destination.

There is ABSOLUTELY such a community in Texas because, it’s Texas, and through them Krolia & Dad Park are able to forge Krolia an identity and ensure Keith gets all his proper documentation. Like his SSN.

After Krolia leaves Keith and his dad stay in Texas because that’s where Dad Park is from + it’s closer to the aforementioned alien community (aka alien doctors who can give Keith check-ups that won’t immediately expose him as human-other)

Keith’s dad dies when he’s around 9/10 and he goes to live with his auntie (also in Texas) but he’s not as close with his extended family and is kind of left to do his own thing. They sign him up for a summer camp science thing when he’s about 11 and that’s where he meets Shiro for the first time. 

When Keith is 14 he goes to the Garrison and his auntie transfers over guardianship to the institution or something it’s… super vague… 

Like there are Legalities that I want to get into but let’s just gloss over all that and make Keith a year-round student who lives with Shiro & Adam when school is out.

Keith emancipates himself when he’s 16 because everyone assumes he’ll be staying with the Garrison for his foreseeable future and therefore has housing + job security + education + etc. But then the Kerberos Mission is declared a failure and Keith is expelled shortly afterwards.

OKAY now answering your original question:

The Garrison SEVERELY fucks over Keith when they expel him, leaving him with no education, room and board, or future job. He’s an orphan, newly emancipated, and shit out of luck. Enter Adam.

In my rewrite’s timeline, the KM is announced as having failed sometime in May, with the funeral for the crew happening shortly afterward. Keith punches Iverson sometime around June and is immediately removed from campus (though he’s allowed to come in for his final exams). He then goes to live with Adam in what was his and Shiro’s off-campus apartment.

Keith and Adam live together for about four months. It goes… Okay. They do care about one another, and have known each other for a long time, but their mutual loss of Shiro and the way they’ve chosen to cope with it (Adam by throwing himself into his work, Keith by blaming the Garrison) tears them apart. It’s hard to live with ghost.

So Keith stays with Adam, and sleeps in the guest bedroom that’s been his since he was fifteen. He signs up for online school, because Adam insists, and does odd jobs around town to keep himself busy and out of the too-quiet apartment. Tuesdays become Keith’s favorite day, because it’s the one day of the week Adam doesn’t work at all, and together they can almost forget.

They try to make it work. But they argue, a lot. About Keith’s future. About what he should do with his life. About the Garrison. And, sometimes, about Shiro. The same arguments, again and again, between two equally stubborn and equally lost people. Silent dinners and closed doors become the norm. Tuesdays start getting skipped.

Keith’s seventeenth birthday is a welcome break from the tension. Adam and Keith both wordlessly agree to drop any conscientious subjects, and instead focus on hanging out and talking to one another, just like they used to. They go to the zoo, and Adam snaps picture after picture as Keith poses so it looks like he’s petting a hippo in the background. They go to Shiro’s favorite restaurant, where the owner fusses over them and their server brings a slice of Keith’s favorite pie. When Adam goes to pay, his money is gently turned down. They race in the desert. It’s the first time Keith’s touched his motorbike in months, and that’s the only reason why he lost, he hotly contests.

It’s a good day. It’s a great day. The kind of day that, when they get back to their apartment that night, Adam doesn’t want to end, so he suggests they stay up and watch their favorite movie franchise. “It’s been a while since we last binged it,” he says, smile crooked and posture faux casual.

Keith begs off, because it’s been a long day and he’s tired. Which is true; it’s already past midnight, and they both have work tomorrow. 

“But,” Keith says, and Adam immediately looks back at him. He’s wearing the jacket Adam had given him, back at the restaurant. ‘Why is half of it gone?’ He’d asked, and Adam had laughed and promised him that everything was fine. “Later, okay? When we both have the time.”

The hallway lights are off, but Adam’s grin and hope cuts through the dark. “What about Tuesday? We can make it a new tradition- ‘Movie Night Tuesdays.’ That sound good to you?”

“… Yeah,” And then he moves forward, and they’re hugging. 

Keith pulls away, and Adam lets him go. “Thank you,” Keith says to the space by Adam’s left ear. “Today was really great. Definitely the best day I’ve had in a while. And it was because of you, so… Thanks, Adam. For everything.” 

Adam blinks once, twice, before pulling Keith into a second, longer hug. “Happy birthday, kid.” 

The next morning, Adam quietly knocks on Keith’s door before opening it. He’s only somewhat surprised to find the room empty, the window still open.

[1112lw]

Every question!!

SDFFSDFG DAM OK SIS

LONG POST AHEAD IF U LITERALLY WANNA KNOW ME PERSONALLY JUST READ THIS LMFAO

1: Name: Arche/Jupiter, my close friends know my real name so!

2: Age: High school has just been done so try to guess

3: Fears: Heights, oral presentations, the dark

4: 3 things I love: Drawing, men- concept art n stuff like that

5: 4 turns on: Oh here we go- uhh thighs, messy hair? when they give u The Look or when they. say things i will not talk about here HHGBDF n uhhh Arms 👀👀

6: 4 turns off: weird macho attitude, overly confident bullshit, being selfish and fuckboys in general

7: My best friend: not sure what this means but my bff is named Daphnée n i love her and ive known her my whole life so 

8: Sexual orientation: homosexuale

9: My best first date: :))))))) as if

10: How tall am I: sigh. I’m 5″4

11: What do I miss: sometimes i miss the feeling loved ig

12: What time were I born: 12:19

13: Favourite color: pink!

14: Do I have a crush

15: Favourite quote: My senior quote!! “if what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, I’m telling you I’m immortal”

16: Favourite place: well? my room ig? I like my yard too

17: Favourite food: ugh ramen,,,korean dishes are TASTE as fuck but i also like classic ass spaghetti so like lol

18: Do I use sarcasm: does it look like i dont

19: What am I listening to right now: dr.phil LMFAO

20: First thing I notice in new person: Hair and eyes!! also how they laugh

21: Shoe size: Like. a 7-8 in women’s 6 in men’s 

22: Eye color: Hazel/Golden yes bitch let me be special

23: Hair color: it’s either dark brown or golden brown idk

24: Favourite style of clothing: bruv its either kpoppie fuckboy or uwu skirts pastels

25: Ever done a prank call?: no i have anxiety

26: Meaning behind my URL:

27: Favourite movie: rise of the guardians and HTTYD

28: Favourite song: Comeback Home (BTS cover)

29: Favourite band: looks in the camera i dont know nan molla huh

30: How I feel right now: I’m fine im hungry

31: Someone I love: shoutout to my babeys in my server ily

32: My current relationship status: Single(tm)

33: My relationship with my parents: theyre fine ig just a bit tired

34: Favourite holiday:

35: Tattoos and piercing I have: Ear piercings? that’s it

36: Tattoos and piercings I want:

37: The reason I joined Tumblr:

38: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I sure hope not?

39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? A bit ig?

40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Literally no

41: When did I last hold hands? Like last Friday

42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes

43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i havent shaved in like months

44: Where am I right now? in my room, in quebec, canada

45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? bitch i sure hope my friends would

46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? fuck my ears 

47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yeah

48: Am I excited for anything? yeah? yeah

49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? ig? always

50: How often do I wear a fake smile? just at work tbh

51: When was the last time I hugged someone? not long ago i cant tell but my friends r cuddle monsters so 

52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? i havent kissed anyone so 

53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? lemme think uhhh no not rlly im not dumb 

54: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up n i thought i had school lol

55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? oh john cock i want to be ur best friend

56: What do I think about most? i daydream 24/7

57: What’s my strangest talent? uhhh i can put my thumb behind my hand?

58: Do I have any strange phobias? trypophobia, if thats “weird”

59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? depends on what the video is, mostly behind

60: What was the last lie I told? idk answering to my deadname

61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? online

62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I slightly believe in ghosts? also aliens GOTTA exist so 

63: Do I believe in magic? i think!

64: Do I believe in luck? yeah

65: What’s the weather like right now? very pretty i filmed a video outside!!

66: What was the last book I’ve read? L’Étranger d’Albert Camus in french class

67: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes my dad’s a mechanic

68: Do I have any nicknames? a lot a lot

69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? bitch @ my birth #neverforget 

70: Do I spend money or save it? i have 40$ in my name right now

71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? yes highlighter

73: Favourite animal? cats or otters

74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? FBISDFD NO WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT

75: What do I think is Satan’s last name idk he can have any last name he wants!!!

76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? everytime i start hearing “waiting for you anpanman” or “i just wanna go home” 👀👀

77: How can you win my heart? aaahh. be a twink. b fashionable. b funny. cheesy. pls romance me like a npc in the sims 2

78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? s(he) died smh

79: What is my favorite word? cunt is SUCH a satisfying word

80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? oh great uh honestly cant be fucked 

81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? please have brain. PLEASE

82: Do I have any relatives in jail? i sure hope the fuck not?

83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? either invisibility or mind reading

84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? ahaaa “what are your intrusive thoughts”

85: What is my current desktop picture? my lesbian sims getting married LMFAO

86: Had sex? no

87: Bought condoms? no

88: Gotten pregnant? NO

89: Failed a class? i think yeah maths last year

90: Kissed a boy? :(((

91: Kissed a girl? no

92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no

93: Had job? I have a job rn so 

94: Left the house without my wallet? yeah when i go to school

95: Bullied someone on the internet? define bullying?

96: Had sex in public? virgin squad

97: Played on a sports team? yeah

98: Smoked weed? no ew

99: Did drugs? no ew

100: Smoked cigarettes? NO EW

101: Drank alcohol? yep 

102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no i’d die

103: Been overweight? i’m twig

104: Been underweight? i think i was underweight when i was young? i was very Small

105: Been to a wedding? yes very long boring

106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? bruh. everyday

107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? probably?

108: Been outside my home country? ONCE

109: Gotten my heart broken? TWICE !

110: Been to a professional sports game? yesss canadians game!!

111: Broken a bone? no

112: Cut myself? not technically 

113: Been to prom? SOON SOON SOON SOSOSNSBFSHDD

114: Been in airplane? once

115: Fly by helicopter? i am not rich bitch

116: What concerts have I been to? noneeee- WAIT NO MARIE MAI

117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? not sex but for the purpose of pretending i have a penis yes plenty

118: Learned another language? yeah!! i learned english, i almost learned spanish and i’m trynna learn korean now

119: Wore make up? i try!! but i’m not super good

120: Lost my virginity before I was 18? not 18 yet but it’s goin that way

121: Had oral sex? as if 

122: Dyed my hair? i wishhh

123: Voted in a presidential election? I WISH THE ELECTIONS R ONE MONTH B4 MY BIRTHDAY 

124: Rode in an ambulance? nope

125: Had a surgery? yes at a week old 

126: Met someone famous? i think yes but i was super small

127: Stalked someone on a social network? define stalked?

128: Peed outside? yes

129: Been fishing? YES

130: Helped with charity? i think? we do volunteering so 

131: Been rejected by a crush? not directly

132: Broken a mirror? no 

133: What do I want for birthday? boyf......boy..boyff

134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? oh man uhh maybe 2-3, i dont know their names yet honestly

135: Was I named after anyone? MY DAD NAMED ME AFTER A FUCKIN CLIENT HE MET. as for my actual name now I named myself after my fav video game character. lit

136: Do I like my handwriting? yeah!!

137: What was my favourite toy as a child? bitch hot wheels

138: Favourite Tv Show? hells kitchen,,,,judge judy,,,anythin like that

139: Where do I want to live when older? honestly i wish i could just live in japan or tokyo, or new york? but i will most likely end up in montreal 

140: Play any musical instrument? i used to play the clarinet last year!!

141: One of my scars, how did I get it? the one on my knee, i scratched my desk with my knee 

142: Favourite pizza toping? my dad makes AMAZING sea food pizzas,,,

143: Am I afraid of the dark? a lot

144: Am I afraid of heights? A LOT

145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? idk prolly? im a bit of a goody two shoes or however u spell it

146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end: dont we all

147: What I’m really bad at: organizing my anxiety n shit i get overwhelmed

148: What my greatest achievments are: finishing high school 

149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: honestly has to be that time someone dug up my vent post about being dysphoric to try to say i hated myself with some dumbass DySphorIa Is SelF HaTRed argument

150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: pay my parents’ debt off, buy 284223$ of BT21 merch, pay my whole college/uni and transition

151: What do I like about myself: idk i like how i literally do not give a fuck anymore and ive learned to love myself instead of trynna care

152: My closest Tumblr friend: @peptobismol-official​ @ace-landofthesun​ @dorkalisious​ and ana but idk her @ anymore :((( ana pls

153: Something I fantasise about: we dont talk about that

154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?: lit. please stop crawling in my ceiling !

ok now that u know my whole biography. go doxx me ig. bye bye

[borkingbarnes]

Hiii! I'm starting university next year and I'm SUPER nervous. Do you have any tips??

FIRST OFF CONGRATS ON GETTING IN AND GOOD LUCK DURING THE SCHOOL YEAR!! 

I went a little overboard with this because its a lot of stuff I wish I’d known first year so everything will be below!

this might be really over-said but it’s the biggest thing honestly— don’t. Fall. Behind. Courses typically build on previous knowledge so it turns into a whole snowball effect and you’ll feel so suffocated if you let it pile up. 

Attend lectures. Skipping lectures might seem tempting, especially if your prof posts their notes online but actually going to class forces you to focus on the material. Even if you go on your phone all class, you subconsciously absorb info by hearing the prof talk about it. 

Stay organized. Whether it be physical paper notes, online notes, or documents on your computer. Trust me, you’ll thank yourself come exam time. 

You actually need to study outside of class. This was one of my biggest issues in first year. I breezed through high school and never really needed to study outside of class and thought uni would be the same and boy was I sooo wrong lmao 

Everyone has different ways of studying. One of my friends can just read over the notes 3 times and go into the exam and score high 90s while I find that writing stuff out a few times helps me remember things because I actually need to spend the time focusing on it. Find what works for you. 

If you do bad on the midterm, it’s not the end of the world. Midterms are usually worth less than a quarter of the grade and you can always redeem yourself on the final. 

But on the previous note, know when you need to drop a course. If you’re trying to get into grad schools such as med, dentistry, vet, etc. grades are super competitive. It’s better to lose some money on one course than to fail it, have it lower your GPA and potentially have it ruin your chances of getting into grad school and having to do another year (which is way more expensive than just one class!!) just to boost your GPA back up. 

Ask about things you’re unsure about!!! If you’re not comfortable asking during class then email the prof directly. Most are always happy to help and most check their emails fairly frequently. 

Take advantage of those extra help/SA/tutorial sessions. 

Don’t rely on a doctor’s note as a guarantee that you can get your exam deferred. Illness is unavoidable sometimes but a doctors note for a cold won’t get your exam deferred. (Not to mention that profs typically will make the deferred exam harder) 

It gets better. It sounds cliche but it really does. After you get over the transition from high school and the course load, it’s much more enjoyable. I absolutely hated first year and found the learning curve extremely frustrating, but second year has been so much nicer. 

It’s okay not to meet your grade goals. There’s a saying that ‘C’s get degrees’ lmfao. But that being said, don’t aim to “just pass”. 

Sleep. Don’t pull all nighters. You retain less information when studying with a tired brain. Plus you’ll blank on stuff you do know because your brain is so tired. 

Reading the textbook helps!! It may seem boring but they help a lot. Especially with courses that require lots of memorization. The repetition helps a lot

Do practice questions and exams. Practice practice practice. 

Try to make at least 1 friend/acquaintance in each class. It helps if you’re sick or miss a class, you’ll still have someone you can get notes or info from or even to just check materials you’re unsure of with. 

You’re gonna be more inclined to skip that 8am class lol. Take classes later on in the day, future, mid-semester you will thank yourself. bonus little thing: If you have a few extra dollars, you can get one of those “sticker white boards” which is pretty much as the same suggests. It’s a huge sticker sheet made of the whiteboard material for dry erase. I got mine off amazon for $15 (it’s 200inch x 88 inch and I cut the 200 in half and stacked them one on top of the other bc it’s a better dimension for me). They’re incredibly convenient for math or if you’re a very visual person and like to draw diagrams or flow charts (BIO PATHWAY SYSTEMS!!). Plus it saves a lot of paper! 

[strangelysardonjc]

every breath you take - steve harrington

steve harrington x reader

warning: major spoilers. jk jk, just minor ones. S2E9

summary: a month later after they broke up, snow ball happened. steve drove dustin to school for it. he saw through the door and he remembered their good times. he couldn’t help it anymore, so he walks in in a tux, ready to swoon her and finally take her back.

word count: 1, 457 (i didn’t proof read it btw)

“Alright, buddy. Here we are.” Steve mumbles as he pulls up. Dustin takes a look in the school gym with pure nervousness in his eyes, “So, remember, once you get in there…”

Dustin nods before saying, “Pretend that I don’t care.”

“You don’t care.”

“I don’t care.”

“There you go. You’re learning, my friend. You’re learning.” Steve says, nodding as he looks at Dustin. A moment later, Dustin moves the rear view mirror of Steve’s car to check how he looks, to which Steve immediately reacted to. “Hey.” Steve holds the rear view mirror, covering it from Dustin.

“What?” Dustin asks.

“Come on. You look great, okay?” Steve says with a sigh. “You look… You look great. Okay? Now, you’re gonna go in there…”

“Yeah.” Dustin says.

“Look like a million bucks.”

“Yeah!” Dustin says, agreeing with more enthusiasm than the last.

“And you’re gonna slay ‘em dead.” Steve says, looking at his friend.

“Like a lion.” Dustin says smiling lightly, before purring.

Steve looks reluctant. “Yeah, don’t do that, okay?”

“Okay.” Dustin says and Steve holds his hand out to Dustin before saying ‘good luck’ and Dustin clashes his hand with Steve. Dustin gets out of the car, straight to the gym and Steve looking at him like a proud father. Steve watches Dustin carefully with a light smile curling up in his lips before his eyes landing at the girl he loved the most.

She was right there, smiling at everyone who enters, having a casual conversation if given a chance. The girl he loved the most, but also the girl who broke his heart. After a year of relationship, she breaks up with him with an unknown reason that left his heart absolutely shattered into pieces. He thought they were the “me and you against the world” kind? He thought it was all bullshit to her when she broke up with him through the phone.

But also he found out the real reason she broke up with him. The days when she was nowhere to be seen, she was with Nancy and Jonathan. They went missing for days and to keep Steve safe and out of danger, Y/N breaks up with the boy, so he would stop looking for her within those days. They even had a fight at Byers’ house when they were supposedly to be talking the problem through, but it made things worse.

Steve sighs, shook his head lightly before stepping at the gas to go home.

Y/N saw Steve’s car take off in her peripheral vision, but she acted as if it was nothing to her, since she was a bit busy in her booth here. She had a sash resting on her shoulder across through her body, with the word ‘USHERETTE’ written.

She still loves Steve, obviously. She could still hear the words that were said in their last and recent fight. She sighs as she pushes as strand behind her hair.

“And you decide to break up with me? Through the phone?!” Steve shouts at her and Y/N tried to be strong, but the guilt that was spreading through her body failed her. “Where the hell did the trust of this relationship went?”

“Steve, you have to understand—“

“Understand? I understand, I really do, but I thought there are no secrets in this relationship?” Steve says with a dry laugh. “I can’t believe I cared about you.”

“What the hell does that supposed to mean?” Y/N says..

“I can’t believe I cared about you. I can’t believe I trusted you. I can’t believe I loved you in the first place.” Steve says. “I used to not care about anyone, just myself and now, I’m here. Right in front of you, miserable as we talk about this.”

“Steve, I’m sorry.” Y/N mumbles and Steve chuckles.

“I’m sorry. But I’m not going to be stupid for just some girl.”

“Hi, Y/N.” Dustin said with a smile as he entered.

“Hi Dustin.” She smiled back, but her eyes widen with his hair. She smiles in a few moments. “Love the hair, Dusty. Can I?” She asks teasingly as she holds her hand up to touch his hair. Dustin hits Y/N’s hand lightly.

“Worked very hard on this tonight, I’m sorry.” Dustin sayd and Y/N laughs.

“Your friends are over there, have fun.” Y/N says as she pointed on the table where the Party are. Dustin thanks Y/N with a smile before walking up to his friends. Students came in and Y/N would greet them with a smile, have a nice conversation and guide them where they would go. The whole night was filled with her work, she’d occasionally smile at Nancy and Jonathan and she would come back where the table of the food was. But she only got a drink.

By this time, less people were coming through the doors and she did what she usually does when she has absolutely nothing to do and stuck at the place for some reasons: people watching. She people watched and soon, very too soon, she was tired. Feeling tired already. She just wants to go home and sleep, be covered in her blankets.

But then, the familiar intro of her favourite song came through the speakers as she momentarily forgot about being tired. She saw the kids on the floor, dancing with their partners and in her peripheral vision, she sees Eleven. She walked up to Mike and immediately the pair began to dance. She smiled as she saw how the two were finally happy again.

She was quietly singing as she people watched and then suddenly, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around with a smile, thinking that probably someone would be asking for direction to somewhere. Her smile slowly falters as she saw Steve right in front of her; in a tux, his hair done and on his shoulder across his body, as sash resting with the word ‘USHER’ written on it.

“H-Hi, you look beautiful.” Steve says and Y/N could actually feel his nervousness in his voice.

“Hey.” Y/N says, looking down. Steve looks at her with a slight frown on his lips, and right behind Y/N, he sees Dustin flailing his arms wildly as he gestured Steve to keep on talking to the girl who’s in front of him.

Steve blinks twice before lifting Y/N’s chin with his finger, so she could look at him in the eye. “Do you want to…” Steve trails off, before shrugging and nods to the dance floor. “Dance, maybe?”

“Steve…”

“Come on, Y/N. I’m trying to fix us,” Steve says. “if you’ll let me.”

Y/N sighs. “Even if I don’t let you, you’d still find a way.” Y/N says and Steve smiles lightly, taking Y/N’s hand as he gently drags her with him. Y/N was a bit reluctant, so Steve takes her wrists and puts her hands around his neck and he places his hands on her waist.

“Why do you have an ‘usher’ sash?” Y/N asks and Steve shrugs.

“So we’d look better together than we were before.” Steve mumbles and Y/N laughs.

Not a minute has passed by and these two were at it already.

The two smiled at each other and Y/N wrapped her arms around Steve’s shoulders, her temple leaning on Steve’s jaw. Steve’s arms wrapped were wrapped around Y/N’s waist.

“Since you’ve gone I’ve been lost without a trace, I dream at night I can only see your face, I loot around but it’s you I can’t replace, I feel so cold and I long for your embrace, I keep on crying baby, baby, please.” Steve quietly sings along.

They stayed in that position until the song ended.

“Y/N?” Steve mumbles.

“Yes, Steve?” Y/N says and Steve pulls away lightly, so he could look at her.

“I still love you.”  Steve says and Y/N nods.

“I’m sorry about what I did.” Y/N says. “I know it was so shitty of me to do that, but—“

“Baby, I understand.” Steve said, his hand cupping Y/N’s cheek. “And I’m sorry that I burst like that, but I just want you to feel that you can tell me everything and know that I will respect you and your decisions.”

“Are you taking me back?” Y/N asks a bit hopeful. Steve sighs, hugging the girl by her waist.

“It’s hard letting you go, but it’s harder without you by my side.” Steve says and he feels Y/N’s grip on him tightens. “I love you. Y/N.”

“I love you, Steve.”

Steve pulls away lightly and crashes his lips on hers.

–

a/n: steve trash right here baby. hey, hey, hey, send me requests. (jonathan, billy, mike, will, dustin, lucas, whoever tf u want) hope y’all enjoy it. i also do riverdale and narnia lmfao

[Nov 24, 2017. 7:57 pm. ph time]

[ahmuteun]

1-140 :)

I switched the format to bullets cause numbers were annoying to deal with lol sorry

3 Fears 

not graduating on time/ failing

idk i dont have many fears

3 things I love

my dog

my family

my friends

2 turns on

im not gonna include being attractive cause that feels like a given so sense of humor

plays piano or guitar

2 turn offs

being an asshole

bad hygine 

My best friend

cat and jen

Sexual orientation

bi

How tall am I

5′2

What do I miss right now

idk no one really cause i got to see my family today and i just got back from seeing jen

i guess jacob and tim?

Favourite color

blue!! :D

Do I have a crush

lmfao no

Favourite place

my college town

What am I listening to right now

a lets play lol

Shoe size

7 or 6.5 depending

Eye color

brown

Hair color

black/ dark brown

Meaning behind my URL

alliteration lol

Favourite song

i have too many

Favourite band

shinee? i dont really know lately

How I feel right now

sleepy lmao

Someone I love

my brothers and mom

My current relationship status

hoe lmao

My relationship with my parents

good with one and not so good with the other

Favourite season

fall or spring

Tattoos and piercing i have

tattoo on my forearm and one piercing on each ear

Tattoos and piercing i want

tattoos: theres a few lol

piercings: none

The reasons I joined Tumblr

because it looked like fun and for fandoms

Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

i get goodnight texts/ snaps sometimes 

Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

no

How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

it depends, anywhere from 10 minutes to 45 

Have you shaved your legs in the past three days?

yep

Where am I right now?

jaden’s room

Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

reasonable but sometimes loud

Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

i live in my apartment at school but other than that with my momma

Am I excited for anything?

this festival thing next weekend but also lowkey worried for it lmao

Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

uhh yeah i do

How often do I wear a fake smile?

whenever im uncomfortable i guess

If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

someone who will pay off my tuition and loans

What do I think about most?

freaking out drama stuff i guess?

although thats mainy just been these past few weeks

Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

i only really like being in front aslong as it’s with other people

What was the last lie I told?

ummm probably something about my drinking or “love life” to my family

Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

i dont mind either but probably phone call so i dont have to worry about what i look like

Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

lol ghosts, oh the irony

but yes to both

Do I believe in magic?

nah

Do I believe in luck?

ehhh kind of

What’s the weather like right now?

hot as balls and im not here for it

What was the last book I’ve read?

im reading the simpsons and their mathematical secret rn and i like it a lot

Do I have any nicknames?

way too many lmao

Do I spend money or save it?

it used to be save but as of lately ive been spending way too much money sooooooooooo lol fuck me

Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

nope

Favourite animal?

my doggo

What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

talking to jen

What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

idk twice songs i guess??

What is my favorite word?

i dont have one

My top 5 blogs on tumblr

idk lol 

everyone i follow, how about that lmao

If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

stay hydrated and i take donations

Do I have any relatives in jail?

not to my knowledge

What is my current desktop picture?

isnt it so cute? :D

Had sex?

yeah

Bought condoms?

yeah

Gotten pregnant?

no thank fuck

Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

nope

Had job?

yes i had job

Smoked weed?

nope, but my mates want me to smoke with them next weekend

Smoked cigarettes?

nope

Drank alcohol?

yepppp lmfao

Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

nahh

Been overweight?

not technically

Been underweight?

nah

Gotten my heart broken?

nope

Been to prom?

yep

Been in airplane?

yep

Learned another language?

yep

Wore make up?

almost everyday

Dyed my hair?

nah, i thought about it tho but i bitched out

Had a surgery?

um i mean my wisdom teeth got removed, does that count?

Met someone famous?

yeah i did on two occasions it was dope

Stalked someone on a social network?

i think so? idk

Been fishing?

yeeeee

Been rejected by a crush?

ive never shot my shot nor have i had an actual crush in years so no

What do I want for birthday?

realistically, nothing

Do I like my handwriting?

eh i mean it’s okay but not really

Where do I want to live when older?

idk but i wanna stay on the east coast

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

sneaking out: no cause ive never snuck out, not technically i guess

doing something bad: i mean it depends on your definition of “getting caught” but yes

wait it’s a definite yes lmao whoops

What I’m really bad at

everything probably lol

but specifically lying i guess

What my greatest achievements are

choreographing modern with chris in march and it went really well i was so proud of my dancers

idk if this counts but this past year i partied with some of our schools football players and lydia paek told me that she wants some of my butt so basically i’ve peaked 

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

honestly idk, i probably agreed with them 

What I’d do if I won in a lottery

pay off my loans/ debt

pay off my mom and brothers’ debt

get my mom a house and vacation to the phillipines cause she really wants to go

get my mates gifts

invest

What do I like about myself

uuuuummmmmmmm 

My closest Tumblr friend

idk lol

Any question you’d like?

lol welp

Are you outgoing or shy?

in the middle i guess but probably more on the outgoing side

What kind of people are you attracted to?

attractive people with nice smiles i guess??

Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

lmfao god no

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

nah but it depends on the context 

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

my mom and brother??

What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“rip”

What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

eric nam - honestly

amine - heebiejeebies

hyorin - dally

blackpink - ddu du ddu du idk how its spelled

john mayer - new light

hayley kiyoko - what i need

cardi b - i like it

yoon mi rae’s entire gemini 2 album

this is more than five i know but theyre all bops and u should listen to them if you havent already

Do you like it when people play with your hair?

yes but only if i know them

Do you think there is life on other planets?

yes, even if it’s just bacteria

Do you like bubble baths?

no i actually really dont like baths

Do you like your neighbors?

i dont really know them

Where would you like to travel?

korea/ asia

Favorite part of your daily routine?

talking to my mates

What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

which part aren’t i uncomfortable with lmao

What do you do when you wake up?

turn off my alarm or look at my phone usually

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

well my arms got tanner cause i drive with my arm out the window so i wish my arms were lighter so it would match the rest of my body again lol

Do you ever want to get married?

lmfao can we not talk about future commitments?

cause no probably not

If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

do u mean is my hair long enough? cause yes

Would you rather live without TV or music?

tv

Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

yeah when i was like 12

What are your favorite stores to shop in?

forever21, and h&m probably

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

it depends on the situation

Do you smile at strangers?

sometimes

Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

well i mean the cat is already out of the fucking bag for the one thing (well one of the things) i was desperately trying to hide soooooo

Ever wished you were someone else?

when i was younger but not in recent years

Favourite makeup brand?

for foundation i like fenty and tarte

for lipstick smashbox and i also liked kat vond but she is against vaccienes sooooooo

Last thing you ate?

chips lol

Ever won a competition? For what?

idk

Ever been in love?

i thought i was but eehhh i dont know anymore oh well 

Facebook or Twitter?

twitter

Twitter or Tumblr?

i use twitter more so twitter

Are you watching tv right now?

nah

What colour are your towels?

white

Favourite ice cream flavour?

i dont have a favorite

First person you talked to today?

uummmm my mom?

Last person you talked to today?

chris

Name a person you hate?

i dont hate people but im really pissed with justin rn

Name a person you love?

my mom

Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

fuCKING JUSTIN

Do you tan a lot?

lmao no

Have any pets?

yes and i love him

Do you type fast?

eh its a moderate speed

Do you regret anything from your past?

lmao yepppp

Ever broken someone’s heart?

oooohhhhhhh boy, yeah kind of....

Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

no

Is cheating ever okay?

on people, no

Do you believe in true love?

idk

What your zodiac sign?

gemini

Do you believe in ghosts?

i answered this already

Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“geeky mathematician with a master’s degree. By contrast, when he” from the simpsons and their mathematical secrets :D

[bakubros]

A little late, but here are my resolutions for the new year!

(Tagged by @asahahi - thanks for the tag! Since I’m getting to this late, I’m not going to tag anyone in particular. Feel free to do this though, if you’d like--and, if you do, please tag me! I’d love to see what your resolutions for the new year are. c:)

Alright, so the realest talk: I know that I need to say this somewhere publicly so that someone can call me out on failing to keep up my resolutions five days into January LMFAO. 

Respond to tumblr DMs, Discord messages, and AO3 comments in a more timely manner. I have to admit that I never expected to connect with so many people when I came back to tumblr for the Hero Aca fandom! It’s been a while since I’ve had such an online social life (like, think back to ~2013 tbh lmfaooo), and on top of my job + studies, it’s been more difficult than I thought it would be to respond to everyone with as much efficiency as they respond to me. I’ve decided that I’m going to sit down, send out all my responses to people at once, and then give myself a deadline of a week to respond to each person! I’m still typing a few more of my responses to people (which is partially the reason why I’m failing my resolution five days into 2018 lmfao), but once I send them all out, I’m going to start holding myself more accountable! I bought a pack of sticky notes for my desk so that I can keep track of things better, and for every day that I’m late on a response, I’m going to set aside a dollar to donate to charity at the end of the year (The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, for personal reasons). That way, even if I don’t do as well as I hope I will, I’ll still be able to contribute some good to the world out there! (And I don’t want to tag all my mutuals to ask them for help on this, but @artsytodoroki, @lupizora, @whatarainyday, @ducklingkouhai: if I ever take more than a week to respond after this, send a casual face punch my way so that I can improve ;333;)

Focus on the things that make me happy. It wasn’t until July of 2017 that I started really feeling good about myself again--and I’d like to keep those good vibes going into 2018! It’s so easy to feel overwhelmed between schoolwork, drama, and my job, but I want to try and make more time to do the things that I actually enjoy. If I can just make time an hour each day to talk to my friends, watch a good movie, or write/draw a little, I think I’d be a happier person overall!

Keep my priorities straight. This kind of ties into the second one, but even though I want to give myself more time to just have fun and relax, I still want to make sure that I don’t neglect any of my responsibilities! I only have a year left in uni and I really, really want to finish strong. I’m going to list my priorities for the new year as: academics > family > personal time > socializing > taking on extra work shifts. Maybe if I try to give more order to my life this way, I’ll feel less overwhelmed during the stressful moments of the year to come!

Anddddddddd I think that’s all! I’m hoping that 2018 will be a more positive year in general--not just for me but for everyone. c:

and lmao wish me luck guys i’ll need it

[trickstercaptain-archive]

lottie’s masterlist of alterations to her dmtnt verse

      okay so I figured that I really ought to make this post ahead of the new movie, and update it as I go along because, from what I’ve already gathered about DMTNT, there are going to be some significant things I will want to change in order to preserve how I view Jack’s characterisation. they are all going to be listed below and linked to under the description of this verse, so bear these in mind if you want to write with me in this timeline. my aim is not to make this post too long or unwieldy lmfao but we’ll see how it goes. personals, do not reblog this post or I will block you.

     this is under a read more both for length and for spoilers.

the FLASHBACK: Jack will not be on board the Wicked Wench when he leads Salazar into the Devil’s Triangle, as he has yet to cross paths with that ship when he’s eighteen years old. Instead, he’ll be a sometime crewman on an unspecific pirate ship sailing from Shipwreck Cove, caught up in the ten ship battle against Salazar’s Spanish Royal Navy ship. When the captain of the Wicked Wench dies in this battle and Jack takes up the mantle as temporary captain ( a position he takes only because he knows where to lead Salazar to put an end to his violence: the Devil’s Triangle ), he will not inherit the compass from him but already have the object in his possession, having bartered it from Tia Dalma earlier in his adolescence. Jack will then lead Salazar to the Triangle and trap him with that same nautical manoeuvre, but something else that will be ignored is Salazar giving Jack his ‘Sparrow’ moniker. Jack is already called Jack Sparrow at this point, and if Salazar wants to associate Jack with a bird before his imprisonment that’s fine, but no way did Jack decide to adopt that as his moniker from him.

A more detailed post about my interpretation of the flashback can be found here

A more detailed post about the timeline between AWE and DMTNT can be found here

Likewise, Jack did not receive any pieces of his costume from his crew as tribute. The ship returned to Shipwreck Cove and Jack was deemed too young to take over as captain full-time ( partly dictated by Teague’s influence ), but the crew serving him were undoubtedly immensely grateful to him for what he did.

Jack and Henry KNOW each other. Jack was a sporadic presence in the young boy’s early life on Shipwreck Cove, nowhere else, and became a surrogate father to him in Will’s absence ( but never did he seek to replace Will. Jack was always the one telling Henry stories about his father ). Therefore, when Henry receives the message from Salazar to find Jack, and he encounters Jack in that jail cell, the two of them already have a strong relationship and rapport. This also means that Jack is in favour of using the trident not only to defeat Salazar, but to free Will from the Dutchman’s curse.

The compass thing is addressed here.

Gibbs does not have to be paid to come and rescue Jack from execution like fuck that honestly. He may well have left Jack initially and needed to cool off after the disaster that was their bank robbery attempt, but upon hearing that Jack was to be executed, I refuse to believe that his most loyal of first mates wouldn’t at least try to enact a rescue plan -- to pay the debt of when Jack went to London for him in OST, if anything.

Similarly, Jack does not ask his crew for tribute after the failed bank robbery because there’s absolutely no point like wtf.

Jack struggles with the demon drink for roughly the first half of the verse, but he does get a lot better once he’s back out to sea ( as his descent into rum was partly down to his being cut off from the sea he loved for so long ). Once the Black Pearl is restored to her true form, Jack is fine, for the most part ( if still rather damaged ) -- his luck starts to turn around and he no longer feels the need to drink and drown everything out and is more concerned with saving himself from Salazar’s wrath.

[squishysvt]

Kindergarten Teacher!Seventeen

Request: seventeen as kindergarten teacher?

Apologies for taking so long! My exams wrapped up today so I’m finally free :^) Enjoy this cute memey bullet pointed request! -Admin Madi

Seungcheol:

Would feel as though he is the real father of all the children AKA loves them all dearly and would literally do anything for them

Teaches the kids important life lessons & to be very respectful so they grow up nicely! But also teaches them to have fun & enjoy everything they do!!

Tells them really bad dad jokes that make them really giggly and hyper but also makes them question their own dads bc “why can’t you be as funny as Mr.Choi?”

Is really keen on making sure they all eat enough and are dressed warm in winter bc his children must not get sick!!

The type of teacher to pat their heads as they leave the classroom and tell everyone about all the cute moments that happened that day

Jeonghan:

Tries really hard to be liked by all the kids and whines to his friends when they don’t show him enough affection

Is really nonchalant when they ask him mundane questions,, “Is it true that Santa isn’t real?” “Mhm.” lmfao he wouldn’t sugar coat anything bc he doesn’t want them to be hurt when they find things out later on in life

He’d also be that one teacher you can depend on like can’t get that juice box open? Mr.Yoon will open it for you dw he’s reliable my man

Has a super close bond with his students,,when they can tell he’s quieter than normal or having a bad day they’ll make him drawings that he hangs on his fridge and keeps till he’s 80

Loves to compliment the kids on e v e r y t h i n g like you colored inside the lines? They’re showered with praise and genuine admiration

Joshua:

Incorporates all of the kids favorite things into his lessons ex) gives them gummy bears when they answer a question right,,makes math problems about cartoon characters and covers the walls in colorful posters

Is the #1 kindergarten teacher when it comes to crying/upset children,, Literally so comforting y’all he’ll crouch down and wipe their tears away and cheer them up with some lame motivational speech that the kids think is legendary

Is super clumsy like he literally hits his legs off the desks and trips on the tiny chairs, but is somehow incredibly gentle with his actions and words

Is super supportive of everything the children do and what ideas they come up with,,You want to be an astronaut? He’ll offer to help build a rocketship for you

Is that one teacher that is oblivious to almost everything that is going on yet continues to be everyone's favorite bc he lets them do whatever they want

Jun:

Ok I feel like kindergarten teacher Jun would take his job hella seriously like this guy literally walks in on the first day with a suit and glasses, hair gelled up and crayons ready to be dispersed

But his cool image lowkey intimidates the kids and so they ask him to stop with the theatrics and he ends up wearing black jeans and striped shirts the whole year bc relatable

He’s one of the advocators for the quiet kids and probably favors that one little shy kid who never speaks but is the sweetest thing on earth

Everyday is show n tell like if you want to show the class a rock you found outside 10 minutes ago be my guest

Is overly dramatic 100% of the time, his pencil broke *cue the deep sigh*, he spilt spaghetti on his slacks? *has 911 on speed dial* and lets the kids out early for recess

Hoshi:

Brings so much high energy and fun to the class that the kids literally never want to leave and won’t pry themselves off when their parents come for them

Wants to accommodate everyone's learning needs and spends most of his nights thinking of little things he can implement to ensure they’re working to their full potential

Pulls a chair up next to the children at those hella low tables during snack break and whips out his own lunchbox that he packed himself (it’s loaded with gummies)

Promises that they’ll watch a movie or have playtime if they do well on their work but doesn’t care if they fail bc he wants to see the care bears just as badly as them

Creates a class cheer or some catchphrase that they all shout when grouped together like the squad they truly are

Wonwoo:

Okay so being a kindergarten teacher was never in his agenda but he has this soft spot for kids and seeing that look of happiness that spreads across their faces when they understand/learn something!! It’s precious ok

Is super duper awkward at first bc yo, how do you handle kids? He was so stiff and monotone that the kids literally thought their teacher was a robot and spread a rumor which got to the parents and Mr.Jeon got a very concerned phone call from a handful of mothers.

Is a really organized teacher and loves sitting down with each child individually and helping them with their reading!! It’s so cute he keeps a little notebook to the side to document their progress and personally chooses which books each child would like :)

The children still think that he’s super mysterious and are genuinely curious about what he does outside of school. The fact that they even care that much for him makes his heart melt and he always tells them little facts about himself if they’re being good that day.

He basically goes from this really quiet reserved guy to the world's dorkiest teacher who gushes to his class about his favorite cereal flavors and helps them operate the microwave on the daily

Woozi:

An amazing teacher. Literally goes ham with teaching the class how to add/subtract and raises an army of tiny geniuses. He’s always so lowkey proud that whenever anyone praises him or his class he gets all red and flustered bc yes, he did that.

He’s one of those teachers that wants you to succeed in life and do well but honestly, his class is so cute and he loves giving them breaks where they just all sit in a circle and talk about toys and tv shows and eat cookies.

He’s a sort of closed off guy, but he never hesitates to get to know the kids better and what they like. He’s so genuinely interested that he spends most nights trying to keep up with the hip shows and terms the kids are using

Will never fail to bring in homemade cupcakes on everyone's birthday with their favorite color of icing and a card signed by the whole class for them! They all gather around with little party hats and have a wholesome time!!

Will never admit to it but cries when his class moves on to the next grade and he’s left with all those cute ass memories,, how is he ever going to get over them?? Send him a new batch pronto

DK:

Literally fits in with the kids like can he be classified as a teacher? Instead of taking breaks to drink coffee and adult he plays with toy cars and dolls with the kids on the floor at break time.

He never stops smiling, it’s actually so contagious his smile cures everything. The kids are so positive and content when he’s around that there’s hardly ever a problem with behaviour in his classroom

One of those teachers to have those periods where he gets each child to say a compliment about each other and it’s so cute!! The things they come up with are so pure that he wants to just adopt them all tbh

Probably strays from teaching half the time and gets them to do a lot of arts and crafts projects to give to their parents :”) but he adds in little life lessons along the way and why you need to be nice to everyone lmao no bitterness in this class allowed

Always struggles to open the milk cartons properly but doesn’t want to appear incapable so he pre-opens all of them to make life easier on everyone. Also always drops food on the floor, literally mark it down; every wednesday he will without a doubt sacrifice his slice of pepperoni to the flood gods

Mingyu:

I know there’s this running joke that Mingyu is nasty but honestly he’d be that teacher who makes you use hand sanitizer 24/7. The kids hate it bc it smells horrible and tastes awful but Mr.Kim isn’t taking any of that crap from the kids but opts to buy a scented sanitizer to compromise.

The kids come up to him constantly and tell him useless information but just love seeing how he’ll react to the news. Mingyu is so expressive and endearing that a kid could literally say they sharpened a pencil and he’d be like :OO

Listen, all of the mothers have a lowkey crush on Mingyu and everyone knows it- except Mingyu. The children drop hints all the time and he just laughs and shakes his head and hits them with the “Aha, cute kid.”

He’d help zip and button up all of the children’s coats before they go outside and tie all their shoelaces and watch them very carefully to make sure that they don’t get hurt!

Also always has band-aids on hand, whether they’re stuffed in his pockets or in his bag, he always has them in case of emergencies! He has a great variety too, hit him up if you ever want a Hello Kitty band-aid :)

Minghao:

The kindergarten teacher with great balance. He’s playful and bright with the kids, but knows how to properly discipline them when needed. He’s that one teacher who looks like a sweetheart but will not hesitate to snap and go off on you

Tries really hard to make everything really easy to understand but ends up confusing himself and talks in circles. Doesn’t know whether to correct his mistakes or just roll with it bc they’re impressionable children and won’t know the difference.

The type to put class photos all over the walls and door. He’s like a proud dad and wants to display his family for all to see. He really cares for the kiddies & everyone needs to know that he has the best kindergarten class on the block or else he’ll be really bitter.

Fumbles a lot with organizing lessons and getting things together, but mostly pulls thru by sheer luck and the help of the kids healing smiles and multiple coffee breaks.

Is really soft spoken and kind when it comes to the kids and jokes with them all the time. He’s the teacher with inside jokes over mistakes he’s made or things he’s said that has made the class laugh in the past.

Seungkwan:

Literally the #1 promoter, supporter, fan, you name it; Boo Seungkwan is it. Is literally head over heels for his kiddos and wants to shout out just how fond he is of them. Dressed up as a cheerleader on Halloween and did a cheer for the class which they adored.

Brings in different snacks every day for the kids to try and says it’s bc he wants to “expand their food horizons” but it’s really an excuse to extend snack period. No one is complaining.

Makes up those cute little catchy songs and rhymes to get things to stick in their heads. He subconsciously finds himself singing during his lessons but never corrects this habit, as it makes everyone listen more intently and happier.

Incredibly defensive when it comes to his children. Brings out every roast in the book if someone ridicules his way of teaching or scores his students got on a test. Insulting one of his kids is like murdering his parents, and Seungkwan is having none of that.

Literally bursts into tears when he sees them walk across the stage with their tiny little kindergarten diplomas and paper hats. Is so incredibly proud of their accomplishments that he ends up giving a 20 minute speech on how endearing the class was when eating their cookies with milk.

Vernon:

Still doesn’t know how he got the job or why he applied. He never wanted to be a teacher and yet here he was, responsible for 20+ kids and their future. Great decision on whoever’s part.

The kind of teacher who says “Umm” and “Uhh” constantly. Buys books online with pre-made lessons that he poorly executes. Shrugs most of the time and nods at everything he reads, as if literally anything suggested at this point would be better than whatever shit is in those pre-school agendas.

Is trying his best to not seem like he’s half assing his job. Makes Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the class and even cuts off the crust for the little monsters. Nearly ends up killing the kid with a severe peanut allergy. Learned that asking about allergies beforehand is a life saver.

Shows up to work in jeans and a t-shirt for a good 4 months before he was mistaken for the older sibling of one of the kids. His professionalism levels sky rocketed after that. Doesn’t come to school if he isn’t in slacks and a button up.

Believes that maybe acting like an older brother to the kids would be a more effective way of teaching them. Holds kindergarten council meetings once a week to lay down the law on where everyone is at on the terms of nap time. Crucial info circulates.

Dino:

Hardcore kindergarten teacher who lets his kids take 5 minute stretch breaks in between sessions. He interacts and joins in on the fun most days as they do wild activities like finger painting without smocks and cheating in hopscotch.

Chases the kids around during play time and pretends to be a dinosaur or monster to scare them,,Although he can be very mannerly when invited to a tea party.

Is the fun teacher who lets you have a prize from the treasure chest for answering a simple question right. Practically lives at the Dollar Store since he gives so many small goodies out in the run of a day.

Probably has a secret handshake with every single child in his class. Thinks that he’s hip with the kids for once, but is still a kid himself. Stays up super later correcting spelling tests he forgot at the bottom of his bag and loves using pen.

Shortened Math class in order to have time to dance everyday & has a playlist created for everyday of the week. He becomes the Ellen Degeneres of his classroom as he dances through the children and desks everyday at the same time.