#each time there was a new parallel i wanted to scream

[thestrangestthlng]

I want to challenge us all to step outside of our fan brains (some sometimes rot; it happens to us all) an watch the story that is being told to us explicitly. Remember, this show is not subtle. It is the very opposite of subtle.

The episode opens with Buck getting his stuff moved into the (not Eddie’s because Eddie was a renter) house by very unhelpful movers. He’s anxious and timid. We’re immediately reminded of the ghosts that haunt that narrative. Buck is just taking heaping slice after heaping slice of abandonment issues pie.

The opening emergency screams in our face themes of second chances (i.e. Buck getting a second change to save someone by just taking his hand, a nod to 1x02 where he lost Devin.)

He goes to stay with his sister and we get their first of two talks of the episode. [Here I want to note that the purposes of these talks are exposition. These serve as a direct line of interiority from Buck to the audience.]

B: … it doesn’t feel like my new place. It feels like Eddie’s old one, which is trickier than I expected. Everywhere I look its just one big reminder that my best friend is gone… and it sucks. M: As your big sister I’m going to have to give you some uncomfortable advice… make new friends.

Then we have Buck being awkward and weird with Ravi where it’s obvious that he’s trying to replace Eddie in a sense. That was Eddie’s favorite… etc etc Ravi fought for his life in that bar where Buck drunkenly continues to talk about Eddie. His best friend. This ties back into the opening emergency where Bobby kept calling Ravi ‘Eddie’. He is a stand in for Eddie. So Eddie would never do anything illegal, Eddie took me here, Eddie played quarters.

What happens when Ravi is over it? He took a second out to go to the bar and runs into Tommy. Ravi is like thank god, here’s my out. You know what stops being mentioned more than time? Eddie.

In the conversation Eddie is not haunting that narrative. He’s haunting the friendship narrative.

T: You know; I’ve been fighting the urge to call you for months…

This is a direct narrative parallel to Buck baking every time wants to call Tommy. A fact the audience has been reminded of every episode since the breakup. Every episode specifically mentions him except Sob Stories (which had a lot of other shit going on).

Buck shoots his shot and like a moth to a flame, Tommy was like lessgo. We see them Tarlos style tumble into the house (which as you know ended in an eh, it was cool, I’ll see you around, but we know how their story ended) and they were so wrapped up in each other that Tommy didn’t even realize they were in a house he had been in multiple times before they were physically in it.

Wham bam thank you ma’am.

The next morning opens with Buck thinking that Tommy left because the side of the bare ass mattress was empty. The kitchen scene opens with Tommy putting some bodega champagne in the freezer (likely for mimosas��regardless a celebration). A brunch spread large enough for a family spread out on that tiny counter. His coffee maker unpacked and set out. (Something is to be said about Tommy being the first person to unpack something in the house.)

Buck tells him that’s the best night he’s had in the house yet… even though it’s the first night.

They banter and they are so close to being back together, but Tommy lets his insecurities show and Buck, who has been emotionally dysregulated since November lashes out and immediately regrets it.

Tommy leaves, but this time it doesn’t feel final.

In the next rescue of the wife in the garden, he makes the assentation that “Long term relationships are hard,”—acknowledging that there are going to be hard times and miscommunications

We have our second sibling talk of the episode where Buck is back staying with her.

B: What is that even supposed to mean? I’m living in Eddie’s old house, therefore I must be in love with him (confused question mark)?? M: Are you? B: (Flabbers are ghasted) With Eddie?? M: It wouldn’t be so crazy. B: (confident and without hesitation) Except that I’m not. As much as everyone seems to want me to be hopelessly pining for my straight best friend. It just isn’t like that… does not having him in my life and in the field leave a big hole? Yeah, it does, sure. M: Okay, so did you explain that to Tommy? B: (visibly regretful) In the meanest way possible. I understand him feeling threatened by what me and Eddie have. But he seemed so relieved that he was gone.

(of note, it seemed like that to Buck, not to the audience. It was passing insecurity to the audience. But we know we can be really unreliable narrators of our own conversations.)

B: (continuing) It felt like he was accusing me of something. Is this what he was thinking the whole time we were together? M: I don’t know. (You need to use your big boy words and ask him yourself, bestie) B: It just it sucks. It was the first night that I was actually able to sleep in this place. M: Okay, maybe you shouldn’t be living there. You said that you haven’t even unpacked yet. B: Yeah, um. I think maybe I don’t wanna unpack because as soon as I do that it means Eddie and Chris aren’t coming back. For real. […] I should call him, huh. (Tommy, duh). M: That’s what I’ve been saying, its not like he moved to Mars. B: N-not Eddie. I mean, I will call him… Tommy. I should apologize, he’s probably right. I was using him as a distraction so I didn’t have to feel alone. M: Not the best reason to get back together with somebody. B: (sniffles) I know. (tries not to cry) M: Maybe its time you learn the lesson again: how to be alone. B: I hate that lesson.

The final montage before the crossover intro, is Buck coming to terms with the situation. He is happily unpacking his stuff and making the house his home. His home. This is all of about seven show minutes after telling his sister that unpacking means accepting they’re gone: Eddie and Chris and its not the end of the world or even his world.

He has accepted that they are gone. He’s ready to work on moving on from that part of his life. He is sad about Tommy and knows he didn’t end it well. We see that they are on the same page about wanting to be together. They are in a classic third act of the miscommunication romcom trope.

These are tropes for a reason: because they are predictable and they work.

If you took out the names Buck, Tommy, Eddie, and Maddie and put in random names into their story, not the characters that you have become attached to, you would read it as the wheels for a reconciliation in process.

[norsevvy]

i can't stop thinking about all the parallels and similarities between the three district 12 victors (four with peeta ofc i love that guy don't get me wrong BAHAHA). suzanne collins this is miserable

- lucy gray, haymitch, and katniss were all sixteen at the time of their reaping

- haymitch and katniss both tried to save district 11 girls and failed. both had some kind of mention of willows after death (rue's song, haymitch physically carrying lou lou's body into a patch of willows). you could argue movies-lucy gray had a tie to dill by accidentally killing her (which you could argue happened to haymitch and katniss too)

- all three of them having (mostly) illegal jobs. lucy gray and singing (restricted to the hob), haymitch with his bootlegging, katniss with her hunting. all instinctively rebellious just by nature

- haymitch and katniss both offered some kind of support to their career enemies. haymitch dropped down chocolate to silka after hearing her cry, katniss shot and killed cato to spare him from being (further) tormented by the mutts

- haymitch and katniss have the same family structure; dead father, living mother + sibling (haymitch's brother sid, prim for katniss)

- all of their reapings were never meant to happen. lucy gray's name was intentionally drawn, haymitch's was straight up illegal, katniss volunteered. none of them had their name drawn (save for lucy gray, but that wasn't fair)

- all close with their district partner / partners. admittedly not that surprising, but it's also fully possible to Not be close with them. all three of them risked their lives continuously for their partner(s)

- all related to the covey in some kind of way; lucy gray is just flat-out covey, haymitch is in love with a covey member, katniss has Vague tie-backs to the covey, since burdock had a handful of covey cousins. if anything, katniss is likely to be very distantly related to lucy gray through either maude ivory or barb azure

- all of them were INCREDIBLY popular tributes. lucy gray won most of the capitol over immediately, haymitch's stunt with louella's body + his score of ONE + his interview made him popular incredibly fast, and katniss had the entire world hooked from the moment she volunteered + cinna's outfits + peeta's confession

- all targeted to be more important than their district partner. lucy gray was heavily favoured, jessup went mostly ignored. haymitch was the district 12 victor most people were rooting for, AND beetee asked him specifically to destroy the arena. katniss was immediately favoured, and while peeta was important, katniss had always been "the mockingjay" and was needed more than him

- mockingjays! lucy gray's connection to them is obvious; they loved her and she loved them. haymitch's is more obscure, and is both through lenore dove (who loved them, understandably since she's covey) and maysilee (the original owner of the mockingjay pin). katniss...is the mockingjay BAHAHA but she also has that connection through her father (the birds loved him), and the pin, which is technically relating her back to lucy gray, because tam amber made it for maysilee. the pin dates back all the way to og covey times, albeit it was made after lucy gray's disappearance - also they're all just blatantly mockingjays. in snow's eyes, all of them are birds, which stems from lucy gray and just continues until katniss is outright named the mockingjay (i'm sure haymitch took "all birds i've met are vicious" and ran with it after meeting katniss)

- all three were purposefully hounded and targeted by snow in Terrible ways. lucy gray was the first to deal with his straight up fucking Wrath. snow IMMEDIATELY hated haymitch and told him that he was going to kill him. katniss never had a chance when it came to snow, because he recognised both lucy gray And haymitch in her, and needed to make her life a special kind of hell (and did!)

- likely all knew everdeens, honestly. lucy gray's relation to the everdeens is unknown, but it's clear that the everdeens at least somewhat had covey origins. haymitch was good friends with burdock (katniss's dad), and obviously katniss is an everdeen herself. the everdeens might have originally been bairds prior to marriage

- all had a relation to the mayor / mayor's children. mayfair fucking HAAATED lucy gray, haymitch and maysilee had a found family relationship, katniss was gifted the mockingjay pin by madge - all knew about the forest / meadow. i mean to be fair it isn't like it was exactly Hidden, but all of them have a strong connection to it, which is ALSO covey-related - not even related to lucy gray or haymitch, but katniss saving peeta's life, just like burdock saved otho's life. :( - additionally, lucy gray, haymitch, and peeta were all intent on staying themselves in the arena, not letting the capitol use them or their tears

I'M SICK

[gffa]

*walks back into BATFAMILY fic fandom eleven months later, holding a Starbucks cup* I'm right on time, I don't know what you mean. AND I have returned with the fruits of a fandom that continues to be incredible at providing the good stuff! Sometimes it's still hard for me to grasp just how much fic has exploded onto the scene in the 10+ years I was away from DC, that there was some incredible fic back when I was into the fandom, but coming back to actual mountains of it has continued to blow my mind every time and made me love these characters even more than I already did.

It's almost overwhelming, honestly, how much good fic there is to read, so let me scream at you guys and shove links at you because I'm having a great time here and I want to drag all of you into it with me, COME HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT RIDICULOUSLY DRESSED SUPERHERO COMICS WITH ME, it's all fun and games, I swear! (Okay, but at least you'll have a good time crying about the Bats, I can give you that much at least.)

BATFAM FIC RECS - BABY DICK IS THE CUTEST GREMLIN ROBIN I'M NOT HEARING ANY ARGUMENTS: ✦ sleepless, perfect duty by glassofwater, dick & bruce, 4.3k     The choice to forgo sleep, to forgo Dick Grayson, has never been easier. Not when the other option is Robin. ✦ Parallels in Reverse by rosetteanon, dick & damian & bruce, time travel, 2.2k     Damian travels to a dimension that's a little bit behind his own. There, he meets a younger Dick Grayson, and a happier Bruce Wayne. ✦ string theory by wingdingery, dick & bruce & damian, time travel, 8k     When Bruce and Dick get transported to an unfamiliar Gotham, it only takes running into a different Batman and Robin for Bruce to realize two things: one, they’re in the future; and two—in the future, Dick Grayson is dead. ✦ Rooftop Meetings by orphan_account, dick & bruce & leslie & shrike & cast, 10.2k wip     When Two-Face almost beats a newly minted Robin to death, Bruce decides that the life of a vigilante is too dangerous for a kid. This becomes the catalyst for a series of events that leads twelve-year-old Dick Grayson down a darker path. ✦ It Could Stay This Simple (Just Stay This Little) by coconuticecream (magspie), dick & bruce, 3k     Maybe claiming legal guardianship over a child at 22, and so soon after becoming Batman, spread Bruce thinner than he'd realized. Maybe Bruce was less equipped to parent a third grader than he'd thought. Maybe Bruce should do more to invite Dick into his life. Maybe Bruce should hug Dick, or promise he'll do better by Dick, or tell Dick that he loves Dick more than he thought himself capable. (or: bruce and dick practice self care together.) ✦ No One Said Flying Was Easy by Wrtrmd2, dick & bruce & alfred, 51.1k     Eight year old Richard Grayson has just watched his parents fall to their deaths. Hurting and alone, he struggles to adjust to the new life he's thrown into. Bruce Wayne takes him in, but seems to have no idea what he's doing. Can they help each other put the pieces of their broken lives back together?

✦ Zitka by PechoraFlow, dick & bruce, 2.7k     After Dick's parents fall to their deaths, he is left clinging to the few things he has left: one of them being Zitka, his stuffed elephant. ✦ your heart is the only place that i call home by emavee, dick & bruce, talon!dick, 6.3k     There shouldn’t be any Talons that are this small, this young, but there’s one standing right in front of him. And that shouldn’t be Bruce’s soulmark blooming on his too-pale skin, but it is—there’s nothing else it could be. Batman really should know better than to bring a Talon home with him, but here he is, wrapping up the boy in a set of meta-cuffs and tucking him into the backseat of the car. ✦ Hostage by EternalLife, dick & bruce & alfred, 3.9k     Dick Grayson is 10 years old. Batman is nowhere to be seen, and Robin has a gun to his head. ✦ The Mother-Son Dance by cometoastop, bruce & dick, 1.8k     Dick is upset he doesn’t have a mother to bring him to his school’s mother-son dance, so Bruce offers to bring him instead.

BATFAM FIC RECS - ADULT BATSON AND BATDAD ARE MY KRYPTONITE, I FOLD LIKE WET CARDBOARD FOR THEM: ✦ Permission To Pause by farawayfiction (JJ_Thomas), dick & bruce, 1.9k     Bruce pulled the phone from his pocket. A text from Dick was waiting for him on the notification screen. ✦ oathbreaker by one_step_closer_to_death, dick & bruce & cast, 2.3k     Stranded and on his last leg, Batman might be fighting his last battle yet. But Bruce promised he was coming back home and this was one promise he wasn't going to break yet. ✦ Judge and Juror by CamsthiSky, dick & bruce & alfred, 6.6k     Anonymous asked: I was just wondering if you would like to write a story set during bvs and how Nightwing could be involved there? ✦ When You Don't Have an Umbrella by TheSilencer, dick & bruce, read the tags, 1.2k     Dick Grayson and Batman talk about the rain. Except they're not actually talking about the rain. ✦ riding the blues by TheResurrectionist, dick & bruce & oc, 3.9k     “What’s in there, anyway?” Charles asked, rolling down the window. “Looks heavy.” “A few million dollars' worth of electroshock weapons,” the kid said, dead-serious. After a moment, a grin stretched across his face. “Nah, I’m just fucking with you. It’s old clothes, mostly.” ✦ Lexically Homeless by nighhtwing (divineauthor), dick & bruce, 1.1k     Dick, Bruce, and their relationship with language and each other.

BATFAM FIC RECS - EVERYBODY LOVES DICK: ✦ One, Two, Buckle My Shoe by sElkieNight60, dick & jason & tim & damian & bruce & alfred, de-aged!dick, 17k wip     Dick was twenty-eight. The boy in the mirror most certainly was not. ✦ Weight of Judgment by Dragonbat, dick & bruce & alfred, 1.6k     As leader of the Teen Titans, Dick had to make a difficult decision. Now he's dealing with the fallout. ✦ Robins, titmice, and other spring birds by Fleur_de_Violette, dick & jason & bruce, 8.5k     There are a lot of things Jason doesn’t understand in the dynamic of the Wayne manor, despite being here for nine months. Maybe a rescue turning a little more dangerous than it should have been for Robin will help him see things clearly? ✦ bachelor parties of different sorts by cedarcat, dick & jason & barbara & cass & bruce (& background dick/babs), read the tags, 4.4k     Dick and Barbara are engaged. There's just one complicating factor that Dick has to deal with. He'd rather avoid it. aka: the one where dick handles past trauma poorly, finds the support he needs in his family, and comes out better for it. ✦ Kitchen Talk by Smitty, dick & alfred, 3.1k     Dick Grayson gets some good advice in the hours before Nightwing #45. ✦ Teach Me to Dream by CamsthiSky, dick & bruce & alfred & leslie & cast, time travel, 29k wip     Dick’s eleven. Not thirteen and eager to prove himself. Not seventeen and mourning a brother. Not nineteen and wishing his best friend wasn’t dead and Bruce would look him in the eyes. He’s only eleven. So why does he remember all of that? ✦ like the back of my hand by Jo_B, dick & bruce & conner & dick/babs, 2k     “Cut it out.” “Would you stay still, please?” Dick swats Bruce’s hand away and starts pushing himself up. “Y’know, in the wild, bats eat their kids.” “That’s not even a little bit true and you know it.” ✦ idea man by vaporeon_ninja, dick & bruce & jason & damian, 8.3k     Ask him. As if it were that easy. As if Damian hasn’t only just barely begun to respect him, and would immediately burn all the ground they’ve covered if Dick so much as implied he wanted to help him get through something. Yeah, fat chance. No, Dick can’t ask him. But he can’t just keep doing nothing, either. So he decides on a third option- just start trying anything. ✦ One of His Own by DawnsEternalLight, dick & bruce & damian & alfred, 1.3k     Dick's freshly back from Spyral and apartment hunting. Little Does he know his dad has already got that covered. ✦ Now That's a Lot of Damage by Sanctioned_Chaos, dick & bruce & jason & tim & cass & cast, 5k wip     On a joint operation with the Justice League, Dick's family falls victim to a particularly malignant curse and he's the only one who can free them. Consequently, it makes him the subject of their suffering.

BATFAM FIC RECS - JASON TODD IS AN ASSHOLE CAT, I'M GONNA THROW HIM AT DICK BECAUSE IT'S FUNNY (AND MAYBE SOME OF HIS OTHER SIBLINGS TOO): ✦ All the Roofs of Uncertainty by Kieron_ODuibhir, dick & jason & bruce & leslie & cast, 70k     For all the blood on his hands, Red Hood was never just a villain. And Nightwing never gives up on family, not for good. (Or: The one where Dick bleeds a lot and Jason argues with everybody.) ✦ Red In My Ledger by WordsAblaze, dick & jason, 1.1k     day five, where jason realises a little too late that dick isn’t an intruder breaking into his safehouse... ✦ Fixed Points and Fluxes by i_am_the_imposter_syndrome, dick & jason (& bruce), 16.5k wip     When a mission involving a mysterious sorcerer goes wrong, Dick and Jason find themselves out of time and place in a Gotham that’s not quite their own. Protocol dictates they lie low and avoid unnecessary interactions as much as possible until they can get home, but their family here is fractured, and if there’s one thing that’s constant across universes, it’s that Bats have each other’s backs. ✦ Too Close to Call by Dragonbat, dick & jason & bruce, 5.8k     Summary: Things go horribly wrong when Robin thinks he can bring in Two-Face by himself. Now Nightwing’s life is on the line and one bad decision might spell disaster!

BATFAM FIC RECS - DICK AND DAMIAN WERE THE BEST BATMAN & ROBIN, I'M NOT HEARING ARGUMENTS ABOUT THAT EITHER: ✦ Won't You Stay A While? by fishfingersandjellybabies, dick & damian & tim, 2.8k     Ric did not expect to find a child sitting on the hood of his cab. Damian did expect to get his brother back. ✦ The Universe Doesn’t Get to Take This by fishfingersandjellybabies, dick & damian & bruce, 1.9k     “And they’re so important that you don’t come home to check on your recently un-amnesiac brother? And here, I thought I was your favorite.” ✦ Just a Little TLC by fishfingersandjellybabies, dick & damian, 1.7k     Dick was not sick. Really. He was fine. Fine!

BATFAM FIC RECS - BATKIDS ALL HAVE MANY SIBLINGS AND THEY'RE ALL PETTY ASSHOLES AND/OR WONDERFUL BABIES AND I LOVE THEM WITH MY WHOLE BEING: ✦ The Long Way Home by itsnatalie, jason & tim & bruce & dick & damian & cast, 111.6k     With Jason tentatively back in the Batfamily, things are going pretty well for him--except for the whole thing with Tim. But who gives a shit about Tim Drake? But when Jason and Tim are pulled into a frightening race for their lives inside a labyrinth that's out to kill them, they may have to look past their differences just to stay alive. Maybe along the way, they'll discover they aren't as different as they thought, and family comes in many different forms. ✦ IRIS Log #1548 by deadchannelradio, jason & cass & barbara & bruce & steph & tim & damian & roy & dick, 8.5k     A Disclaimer From Your Friendly Neighborhood Oracle: The following is a transcript of Patrol Communications Audio written by state of the art transcription technology, IRIS (Interpretation of Recorded Intelligence Software). IRIS was created to provide easily searchable records, automatically, and eliminate the need to transcribe each patrol audio log manually. That being said, IRIS is still experimental, and may not always be entirely accurate. ✦ Real Housewives (sort of) of Gotham by brandywine421, dick & selina & bruce & damian & jason & roy & talia & dinah & harley/ivy & helena & cast, no powers au, 5.9k     Selina is curious to a fault but she has a twinge of concern at her almost-stepson's name popping up on her personal line. They were allies and frenemies, depending on who was Brucie's favorite pet at the moment but he usually texts birthday wishes and xoxo's instead of actual voice contact. "Is everyone okay?" ✦ War! by Smitty, dick & barbara & tim & cast, 1.9k     What 'entertainment' was Nightwing talking about in Nightwing #44? Innuendo. ✦ Nowhere Safer by lurkinglurkerwholurks, dick & jason & tim & bruce, 9.6k     What's a Robin to do when the nightmares don't stop? ✦ Love like Cats by Laroyena, alfred & bruce & dick & jason & julia & cast, 20.7k     “This takes crazy cat people to a whole new level,” his old friend told him. “So this old family your dad took care of, they left their fortune to a cat.” Alfred Pennyworth, ex-special agent of the British Secret Intelligence Service, moves to America to become a butler. A cat butler. ✦ Minimum Height Requirement by Drag0nst0rm, bruce & dick & jason & tim & damian & cass & steph, 66.4k     Somewhere in the multiverse, there's a universe where letting his children dress up in capes and follow him into vigilantism seems like a good idea. Bruce is determined that it isn't going to be this one . . . Despite his children's repeated attempts to convince him otherwise. (Or: "When you're eighteen, you can do what you want. Until then, no capes.")

✦ Family Crisis by librarylexicon, bruce & dick & jason & tim & cass & steph & leslie & cast, 85.8k     At the close of the gang war, Batman uncovers an attempted deception concerning the life of his former protégé Stephanie Brown, and suddenly nothing is as important as his family. While Dick seeks absolution, Tim struggles with grief, Cassandra searches for belonging and Steph rebuilds her sense of self, Bruce faces the return of ghosts from his own past and psyche. (War Games AU) ✦ grasp of ice by Kieron_ODuibhir, tim & damian, 6k     “Drake.” The hand in his was cold. Not because it belonged to a corpse, but because the night was cold. Cold and bright and pitiless, fresh snow glittering perfect under the waning gibbous moon like diamond sand. “Drake. Stay awake.” Drake, because he was insane, smiled before he said, “I don’t want your pity, Robin.” ✦ The Salem Protocol by Dragonbat, bruce & dick & jason & tim & damian & barbara & jim & cast, 47.4k     An AU version of Batman, RIP. When the GCPD makes a surprising arrest, Gordon knows he needs to call in support. Contains MASSIVE spoilers for Batman #678.

BATFAM FIC RECS - I CUT MY TEETH ON DICK & TIM AS CLOSE BROTHERS AND NO ONE WILL NOT TAKE IT FROM ME: ✦ Hide and Seek by WordsAblaze, dick & tim, 1.1k     day twenty five, where a mission leaves dick and tim playing a not-so-fun version of hide and seek... ✦ To be a good brother by andthentheyweretwo, dick & tim (&tim/kon), 7.7k     It’s not always easy to be a good brother. Sometimes, it’s downright hard. ✦ Think Happy Thoughts by fanfictiongreenirises, dick & tim & bruce, 2.3k     Dick's vitals keep crashing if his thoughts turn downwards. Tim tries to help. ✦ Hisstamine by coyote_nebula, dick & tim, 2.7k     Dick gets bitten by a venomous snake. Tim pretends to know exactly what to do. ✦ Words That Must Be Said by Dragonbat, dick & tim, 1.4k     Tim needs Dick's advice when his long-lost uncle turns up.

BATFAM FIC RECS - DICK/BABS FOREVER AND YOU CAN SHUT IT IF YOU DISAGREE, THEY'RE ADORABLE TOGETHER: ✦ I'll crawl home (to her) by dizarys, dick & babs, ~1k     She needed to focus. She was Oracle and Oracle couldn’t falter or be distracted by personal feelings, not when multiple lives depended on her coordinating teams across the city, the country, the globe. There was no time to worry about Nightwing or his radio silence. Too much going on to pester him. He got out, said he wasn’t majorly wounded, and she needed to trust him. After all he was Nightwing. Vigilante since he was ten. Dick didn’t need her worrying in his ear while trying to stay alive. They needed to be professional because anything else could end in death. ✦ to my word now I'll be true by theragingstorm, dick/ babs, NSFW, 4.7k     A chance night becomes something more. ✦ Scar Tissue by Smitty, dick/babs, 2k     Some scars heal more easily than others. ✦ Time Enough by Smitty, dick/babs, 1k     Barbara asked him for time.

BATFAM FIC RECS - I WILL DIE ON THE HILL THAT TIM DRAKE'S TRUE LOVE INTEREST IS CONNER KENT AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME, NOT EVEN GOD: ✦ What a Hunk (Of Rock) by AelinSardothian, tim/kon & cast, 4.4k     Tim is pulling another all-nighter when an injured Kryptonian lands on his balcony, leaking blood and affection. ✦ Obligatory Nap Time by egg_thief, tim/kon, 2.6k     Tim hasn’t been sleeping lately. Kon’s determined to at least get him to take a nap ✦ GUY.exe by thebodydies, tim/kon, NSFW, 4.6k     “If you tell me what you want,” Conner said, “I’ll do the rest.”

BATFAM FIC RECS - TAKE THE ANGST DIAL, TURN IT UP TO ELEVEN, AND BREAK THE KNOB OFF, THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR: ✦ threadbare by inconstant_moon, dick & jason & tim & damian & bruce & donna & cast, read the tags, 53.8k wip     That's the thing. Dick looked right at the kid, broken hand and all, and nearly let him in. He nearly let him train. Because after all these years, he didn't process anything wrong with the image before him. (Dick, Bruce, and the implications of raising a partner instead of a child.) ✦ Kindness isn't Free by minnow_doodle_doo, bruce & dick & alfred, no powers au, 6.7k     “You need to love humanity unconditionally or else the world will beat you into the ground and you won’t be able to get back up again.” He said into Dick’s hand like a prayer. “And you can’t kill what you love and survive.” ✦ Home Assignment by librarylexicon, dick & bruce & tim & babs (some dick/babs), 6.8k     Blüdhaven police officer Dick Grayson is suffering the tail end of a nasty cough when he's summoned to work a stakeout as Nightwing with Batman and Robin in Gotham. As the night wears on, his worst fears are realised when three urgent pleas for help pull him in separate directions, forcing him to choose between members of his own family in a way that feels suspiciously intentional. ✦ How Sharp The Pieces Were (You Crumbled Into) by WinterSky101, dick & tim & damian & cass & bruce & alfred & steph & duke & cast, 14.9k wip     Dick is back, but scars like his don't heal easily, even with a new healing factor. (Thirteen stories of Dick and his family in the year after his return to Gotham.) ✦ Pain o' Chocolate by Anonymous, bruce & dick, 1k     Dick is in a coma.

[genevawrenn]

Landduo is just living rent free in my brain cause where else do you find two immortals who have spent at least three worlds together and they still manage to ramp up their chaotic relationship and this time successfully drag many people into their divorce?

For a bit of context I have followed this duo for quite a while, Foolish was one of the first people I watched regularly from the DSMP after I discovered Techno because Foolish was building the DreamXD statue at the time and I was curious about the server. I didn't see the prior pranks but I do have clear memories of watching Bad add different faces to the statue and building the giant cactus monstrosity in the middle of Foolish's summer home.

My Roman Empire was that fucking stream where Foolish dismantled the entirety of Bad's home and moved it to the new world, it took him several hours and I never found the VOD again [if anyone has it please drop it in the replies, I want to rewatch it].

Like these two have been weird about each other for YEARS lol.

Then we went from DSMP to the QSMP where they only reinforced their dynamic is one not even they know but it screams immortal energy without them even feeding into it too much lore-wise. Because between the threats of bodily harm and banter, they trusted each other with their kids implicitly. Not a single question about if the other would break it, simply they knew they could be sure the other would care for their most precious family members.

Because on some level, they see one another as family. They would never admit it out loud, the moments they show such are as rare as the compliments they pay one another. But they know no matter the world they share, the other isn't far away. The universe delights in placing them together, in spite of everything.

They are rivals. They are confidants. They hate each other. They'd kill anyone else who disrespects the other. Only Bad can kill Foolish. Only Foolish can die to Bad.

Death hungers to feast on Life, and Life willingly gives in each time hoping to hold back the destruction Death can wrought if left unchecked.

The Realm is a culmination of who they are. They dragged everyone into their thousandth divorce, showing parts of their personality they rarely do for the sake of unsettling each other and the mortals they find themselves surrounded by. The factions were always a plan but they were apparently moved ahead [I think I remember Tubbo saying this but take that with a grain of salt] because Foolish rocked up day 1 and declared himself King. Which, predictably, Bad did not like and immediately created an opposition to the faction his rival formed.

But they mirror each other unconsciously; Bad declared Foolish a tyrant and became one himself. Foolish states Bad's heart beats with both kindness and chaos but what was last nights one versus one if not impulsive chaos? After an extensive talk about how the PVP on that server is unsustainable and not quite balanced properly, geared more towards leveling than fighting each other specifically.

They are driving me INSANE man, like I keep seeing parallels and differences everywhere I look, which includes characters like the one Tubbo plays where he feeds into their chaos.

Creation [Tubbo] is encouraging Death to ravage the server and attempt to force everyone to under his rule, Life willing to sacrifice himself to satiate the bloodlust for just a bit longer and perhaps give them a few more moments to think.

Its poetic. It's disorder incarnate. Its the natural cycle of life and death personified.

It's Bad and Foolish, arguing again for the thousandth time but this world is one they have gotten the whole server involved and I agree with Foolish's points last night of yellow and green will never peacefully coexist and at the end of it who will remain standing?

I, for one, don't think its the mortals that have earned their protection. I think it will be the immortals who are treating this world like a playground until there is no sanity or reason left, something to match their dynamic that will forever rage onwards cause that's their form of affection and companionship.

And where else do you find a dynamic like theirs? We don't understand it and neither do they, and that's what makes it all the more fascinating, entertaining, and irritating in the best way.

[rebelcracker-s]

yapping about the welcome home 10/18 update because i am so incredibly normal

Hello neighbors! Not exactly my usual content, but since when was I consistent :P I have a lot of thoughts about the new Welcome Home update, so I thought I’d make a post discussing my thoughts n findings, and try to analyze them to make sense of Welcome Home. 

SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!

First of all, right off the bat, on the first page of the storybook, you can see this:

All of these dots in white diamonds are meant to represent eyes, like the Looky-Loo branding alludes to. While they’re all mostly looking in different directions, we have these two who are looking right at the reader. I think these are meant to represent Wally’s eyes. Since we know from the hidden audios from the June ‘23 update that Wally can see through every drawing of his eyes, it looks like Wally is watching us or at least W through the storybook. It’s a tiny detail but so creepy nonetheless!

I want to focus on the end of W’s version of the storybook rather than the contents of the storybook, but I loved seeing a story centered around Sally and some depictions of Sally & Poppy’s dynamic! (Also Eddie calling Sally rude—THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING. Based eddie tho LOL) I also loved seeing the neighbors all being so eager to help Poppy, but oh my goodness, the way that they did it… YIKES. Poor Poppy…

It’s so interesting that we’re seeing the characters one by one realize that something is wrong with their neighborhood—first Sally in last year’s Halloween update, then Eddie in the Homewarming update, now Poppy. 

It’s also interesting how Eddie and Poppy’s episodes(?) parallel each other. First of all, they very clearly focus on isolation from the rest of the neighborhood. Eddie loses all perception of the other neighbors, and the “single pea on a plate” represents his isolation from everyone else. Poppy is literally bricked off from the other neighbors, and she can’t hear them and vice versa until she screams and the door is opened.

The second interesting thing is that both of these episodes have Home involved. Eddie gets uncomfortable and immediately finds himself staring down Home even though he’s inside them. Poppy hears knocks, doors opening, and doorknobs turning—all of which are methods Home uses to communicate. I don’t know if Home is meant to be a metaphor for isolation or a genuine antagonistic force trying to corner the characters when they’re alone and at their weakest. Maybe both? 

Still, I was considering that the character who scares Poppy at the end of the storybook audio could also be one and the same with the “monster” (in quotations because it’s unclear whether this is an actual monster) Sally talked about in last year’s Halloween update. That would create a common thread between the two Halloween updates. Still, I’m not sure what that monster is meant to represent and if it is supposed to mean Home or something related to them, like the weird portal underneath it…

Third, it’s very interesting how the two episodes end. Both Eddie and Poppy are brought out of the episodes by the intervention of the other neighbors. But it’s not just any neighbors—both times, it’s Sally and Frank. Sally is the neighbor who notices something is up with Eddie first; she brings him to the Homewarming party, then pulls Frank over to Eddie at the end of Eddie’s episode. When Poppy’s episode ends, we hear two neighbors asking about her. It’s not explicitly stated whose voices they are in the transcript, but it’s clearly Sally and Frank.

Sally and Frank are a really interesting pair; their canon interactions include them getting into a physical fight over song lyrics. But somehow, we’ve seen them twice breaking up these episodes. They don’t appear to be as close as Frank is with Eddie or as Sally is with Poppy, but it would be a very weird coincidence if this was an accident both times. 

I strongly believe that Sally and Frank are both aware of what’s happening and trying to work together to either gain a bigger understanding of it, protect the other neighbors, etc. (I also have a theory that Howdy is in on it too, but I won’t focus on that right now.) This is why we see them coming to both Eddie and Poppy’s aid after their episodes. 

Another thing!! Connections to other literature seem to be really important in the lore of Welcome Home, so it’s not a throwaway that the play Sally puts on is Tell-Tale Heart. I don’t know a lot about Tell-Tale Heart, but it appears to be about a character who kills a man and buries his still-beating heart under the floorboards, only to be driven mad by the sound. I’m pretty sure we’ve heard Home’s heartbeat before, so I wonder if Tell-Tale Heart is supposed to connect to them… I’ve seen people connect it to Cask of Amontillado, but I’ve never even heard of that so I’ll let other theorists tackle that for now.

On a final note, Wally saying that “everything is as it should be” as the last line of the storybook…completely creeps me out!!!

That’s all for now. I should probably update my other theory soon lol 

[raincoatpng]

nobody asked but here is my take on Yona because I need to get it out somehow.

This is a pro-Yona rant from a sidlink fan, addressed to people who enjoy media analysis. Because I don't think it's necessary to pretend a whole character doesn't exist in order to enjoy a ship, if you can learn to look deeper. I am not claiming to know the universal truth, this is just my opinion and my read on things.

I don't want to spend too much time on this first point, but a lot of people seem to be of the opinion that Yona's existence in Tears of the Kingdom was a ploy from Nintendo to bury sidlink. I personally don't think that's the case, firstly because I think it's overestimating the reach of sidlink to assume that Big Nintendo would care to go out of their way to sink the ship, and secondly, a lot of things just do not make sense if that indeed was their intention.

Now, I can't claim to know what every writer and game dev involved in TOTK was thinking, but from a purely logical standpoint, why would they include so many gay ass scenes if their intention was to destroy the ship? I'm thinking first and foremost about the scene where Sidon gets on one knee and gives Link a ring as "proof of his vow." There's just no way that not a single person in the writers room saw the implication there, let's be honest. Why on earth would they put this scene in there if they cared at all about killing off sidlink? It's like using oil to put out a fire. Like I said, it simply makes no sense.

Onto the topic of Yona herself, and the reason I'm posting this in the first place, I don't think I'm the only one who noticed the lack of chemistry between her and Sidon. We know the TOTK writers were capable of writing good chemistry because they did it with Rauru and Sonia, and through just a couple cutscenes at that. So I don't think it's a coincidence that Sidon and Yona don't have that between them.

If you've not read the new zora stone tablets written by Sidon scattered around Lanayru, there is one where Sidon describes how he had once seen Yona as a sister and how he admired her just as he did Mipha. Yes, granted, it is written in the past tense, but why on earth would they include this in the first place? why not say they were merely childhood friends, why precise that they viewed each other as siblings (or that Sidon did at least)? As for the part where he says his feelings have grown harder to describe with time, that is such a vague line it could literally be interpreted any way you like. I have no clue if this is unique to the english translation, so if anybody reads japanese and has read the tablets, please let me know if this was originally intended.

Regardless, Sidon also mentions that Dorephan informed him that Yona would be his bride, implying in no uncertain terms that this was an arranged marriage. The lack of agency in this relationship doesn't exactly scream romance, now, does it?

LASTLY!! the most significant on screen interaction between Sidon and Yona by far is the scene where Yona scolds him (rather sisterly behaviour I might add) for refusing to go to the Water Temple with Link and let her help with the sludge. She accuses him of projecting his grief over losing Mipha onto her and letting himself be paralysed with the fear of losing a loved one again. Similarly, the most significant interaction Yona has with Link is when she fixes his Zora armour up for him – the very armour that Mipha had made for him. I'm gonna say this straight up, it is odd how much the game directs our attention to the parallel between Sidon's supposed love interest and his sister. That is, unless, there is in fact no romance between him and Yona.

So. Rather than writing off Yona entirely as many people are quick to do, I invite you to think deeper on her role in the game. Yes she's very underdeveloped as Sidon's love interest, but ask yourself if that even is the most interesting way to view her. I know a lot of people don't care to think about sibling relationships, even less so chosen family, but for those of you who do, I'm asking you to try to revisit Yona and Sidon's relationship in that light.

Consider the tragedy of losing one sister to war and another to politics, of growing apart from someone you considered family and be robbed of the opportunity to rekindle that bond because you are now betrothed to them. Imagine suddenly being nobody's brother, nobody's sister.

Even if that interpretation isn't as compelling to you as it is to me, at the very least, I'm tired of seeing unwarranted hate for a character that is nothing but helpful and kind. You are perfectly allowed to like or dislike any character, you are entitled to your opinion, but you are not entitled to misogyny. If your only reason for hating a female character is that she "gets in the way" of a ship, you are being sexist. Full stop.

[chillinglikeashilling]

Michael and Kit: Making New Choices

This is a continuation of this post where I was talking about my thoughts about Kit and Jentry's dynamic in the show. (I finally finished the season) I need to re-watch the series again sometime soon because I'm so fascinated by the Episode 5.

The show sets up Michael and Kit as parallels from the start of the episode which is such a fun choice because they ended the episode before with this legitimately creepy scene of Kit pulling his skin back on. There was a chance for the tone of the show to really change there but the show immediately contextualizes how it wants us to view Kit by showing him in parallel with Michael.

Both of them are teenagers (or young at the very least) waking up to go to school, getting closer to Jentry but also trying to establish some sense of self identity and sufficiency. Michael is trying to balance meeting his parents expectations, against a desire to try something new and possibly divert from a path that he's been on for a long time. There's a sort of conservatism (not politically necessarily but in the way parents will often uphold traditional values and institutions) that we can see in some of the adult characters in the show like Michael's parents and Gugu, and it really pushes back on the teenage characters when they try to change.

Kit is somewhat different in that his deal with Mr. Cheng seems much more recent and his "parents" are just puppets for Mr. Cheng, but what is Mr. Cheng if not the oldest, most controlling adult on this show. A man so caught up in what he believes is good for his child that he attempted to kill a teenage girl several times just to drag his daughter kicking and screaming out of an afterlife she was at peace with.

It's so interesting to me that both Kit and Michael are struggling with asserting themselves and taking control of their decisions and basically all of the people in their lives except for Jentry are advising them to basically stick to what is easiest (i.e. the path that has been decided for them). It's a big part of Jentry's personal journey as well after all.

I mean, a lunch lady basically talks to both Kit and Michael about the importance of making their own choices and how other people will keep making choices for them if they don't. However that scene starts with the lunch lady explicitly refusing Michael's attempt to make a new choice.

There's a consistent pressure that we see pushing back on Michael when he attempts to change- his parents, Stella, the lunch lady. Everyone around him is so used to him following the script that it's genuinely baffling to them when he doesn't. Jentry, who is a person Michael has known a long time but who has been away long enough that they're still getting used to each other again, is the one relationship pushing him to change. In the episode its Jentry's text that tells us Michael was even considering trying out for band! Meanwhile for Kit there's a pressure there from Mr. Cheng but its actually easier for him to make the specific choice not to hurt Jentry. Mr. Cheng (or more specifically the Mogui) don't give up on having Kit do what they want but they only step back because they have enough knowledge about the systems in place to know that things will work out badly for Kit. Mr. Cheng knows that Kit and Jentry won't work because Kit has been lying to Jentry the entire time, and because Kit is making a decision not to hurt Jentry specifically (instead of say a choice to not hand over the powers) eventually Kit finds himself in a situation where giving the powers to Mr. Cheng feels like the easiest choice, the only choice.

[graciehart]

TRIED & TRUE: An MSR Playlist ⤷ Part Three: All Things

Oh, love, let me see inside your heart. All the cracks and broken parts, the shadows in the light... there's no need to hide.

playlist / songs ↘

FALLING SLOWLY by Steve Kazee & Cristin Milioti / It's probably no surprise that this song is on here since it's one of my all-time favorite songs, but I'm putting it here anyway because it's just SO GOOD. It has one of my all-time favorite lyrics—"you have suffered enough and warred with yourself; it's time that you won"—which is so good to think about in the context of your favorite OTP. I know Mulder and Scully would feel that about each other (and, let's be real, we all feel that about them). And even though they fell for each other the minute they met, it was also a reeeeal slow burn.

CRASHING DOWN by Elyse Myers / I'm way too delighted by the juxtaposition of "falling slowly" in love with love coming "crashing down" on them, but it's somehow both things at once so I stand by it. This was an immediate MSR song for me, it just felt so fitting. "The very first time I heard your voice, it was lightning to my soul / You said my name and looked me in the eye / that was all I needed to know about your love / It came crashing down on me" felt perfect for their first meeting, and THEN!!!! Immediately after that: "I didn't know then what I know now, but even if I did, I wouldn't change a single thing / I would do it all again for your love / to feel it crashing over me." My mind immediately went to "even if I knew for certain, I wouldn't change a day." And then this part?? "The very first time we disagreed"—cough, the very first meeting—"I was learning about you still / Your head is strong and your heart is fierce / You don't give up, you never will on your love / It still crashes down on me." Anyway this song is MSR and nothing will ever change my mind.

HUNGER by Ross Copperman / First I must shout out one of my favorite x-files tweets because the horniness is definitely a piece of associating "hunger" with MSR (lol) but beyond that... this song! MSR! AH!! The verses especially make me think of them: "one look and I can't catch my breath / two souls into one flesh / when you're not next to me, I'm incomplete" and "oh, love, let me see inside your heart / all the cracks and broken parts / the shadows in the light / there's no need to hide." And then there's the palpable want between them—"I'm on fire like a thousand suns / I couldn't put it out even if I wanted to."

ARMS by Christina Perri / I know this was so overplayed, but again, hear me out—this is soooo them. The lyrics are so beautiful and fit them both so well: "I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown" and "I hope that you see right through my walls / I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling / I'll never let a love get so close / you put your arms around me and I'm home" and "the world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved / I never wanna leave you, but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone" and again, "you put your arms around me and I'm home." And just thinking about the way Scully feels safe enough to let Mulder hold her and how Mulder collapse into Scully and lets her hold him even though she's so little! The fact that she can be his home!! AND and and when she says "can you hold me?" I AM SCREAMING!!!!

CEILINGS by Lizzy McAlpine / This is entirely because of this beautiful video that I watched and could never get out of my head. I will never not think of them and these scenes that fit so beautifully (rain in the pilot, the parallel between them in hotel rooms). Also, even though "touch me like nobody else does" implies sex in the song, I love thinking about how it goes beyond that for Scully and Mulder—they truly touch each other in so many ways that nobody else does, literally and metaphorically.

WONDERFUL UNKNOWN by Ingrid Michaelson / This song is a long time favorite of mine, but I love finding new reasons to cry about it... and MSR certainly did that! I think this can be applied at most stages of their relationship, but it especially makes me think of the unremarkable house. This song speaks to so much of the simplicity of love ("we make bread on Sundays and the little ones are climbing up the walls / nothing last forever but the sound of love astounds me every time that it calls") and it just makes me think of MSR living a totally unremarkable life basking in each other's love (which is exactly what happens, right?). Also... "in the best way, you'll be the death of me."

RANGERS by A Fine Frenzy / This is a song that has inexplicably been one of my favorites for a long time (inexplicably because usually I relate more to the lyrics if it's a favorite), so perhaps it was just meant to be on an Emily MSR playlist. This is another song that reminds me of the unremarkable house, especially in I Want to Believe. "They'll keep seeking but they won't find us / Let's keep living our quiet lives, you and I." I'm also going to cheat and say I consider this song to be a bit of a companion to "Come On, Come Out" and "You Picked Me" (from the same album which I think I could argue is itself an MSR album) and perhaps you should listen to those too... but I was trying to keep this a reasonable length lmao. "Come On, Come Out" reminds me of a couple comments in the show (specifically, settling for a life on this planet and looking for life elsewhere) and feels like what Mulder and Scully do for each other throughout the show in both a literal and metaphorical sense. "You Picked Me" is one of my favorite love songs (platonic and romantic) and also very MSR.

TRUE BLUE by boygenius / I must give credit where credit is due: @emmiebea and @scullysconstant each sent this song to me, both about MSR but independently of one another... which I decided is a sign. And it is suuuch an MSR song!! Plus I find it delightful that there's a lyric about being born in July because that's when I was born. But back to the MSR of it all: "and it feels good to be known so well / I can't hide from you like I hide from myself" is soooo them and reminds me of the the fourth gif in this set—the idea that they know each other better than anyone else and can decode each other in a way that's just so specific to them. And then it goes on: "I remember who I am when I'm with you / your love is tough, your love is tried and true blue." My constant, my touchstone, my friend, my one in five billion... they are so fully themselves when they're together!!!! I also am forever screaming about Mulder using the phrase "true blue" in "Kitsunegari." I have no idea what to do with that information, but it matters to me.

YOU WILL FIND ME by Alex & Sierra / I liked the idea of putting "I can't hide from you like I hide from myself" before a song called "You Will Find Me." They always find each other when they're missing, whether they're physically missing or searching for some part of themselves. "You leave me room for my imperfections / when I'm a mess and you jump right in / if I drift in the wrong direction / you turn the tide and you calm the wind / anytime, everytime I get lost / you will find me."

TIMELESS by Taylor Swift / Speaking of finding each other... "I believe that we were supposed to find this / so even in a different life / you still would've been mine / we would've been timeless" and "sometimes there's no proof, you just know / you're always gonna be mine." I will never ever get over the "even if I knew for certain, I wouldn't change a day" and "we'd been friends together, in other lifetimes, always" of it all.

SATELLITE CALL by Sara Bareilles / A few weeks ago during an ask game I said this is a song I would want to put on a playlist for both Scully and Mulder, so here we are. It's one of my personal favorite songs and one that means a lot to me and it's a message I would want to give them, but I also think this is a message they would want to give each other. And if you really want to hurt, think about it during an abduction arc or literally just any time they don't know where the other is, even for a minute (because these two are insane and it doesn't even need to be a full-on abduction arc). "This was written for the one to blame / one who believes they are the cause of chaos in everything" and "this is so you'll know the sound of someone who loves you from the ground / tonight you're not alone at all / this is me sending out my satellite call." I have always loved this song because of the imagery—the idea that no matter where you are, how alone you feel, how dark the night, I am here for you, I am sending out my satellite call to you so you know I am here and you are not alone. So take that and add it to Scully and Mulder thinking of each other when they can't physically be together and trying to be the other person's source of strength and comfort aaaand yeah. (I am also going to cheat with this song and say "I Choose You" is another Sara Bareilles song that should be on here and only isn't because I was trying to be reasonable with length, but the reason I chose this song "Satellite Call" is because it feels more unique to them—the idea of a satellite call is just especially fitting for MSR in a way that it might not be for other couples, at least to me, because satellites, little green men, all that. But this is me saying that "I Choose You" is unofficially on this list as well because I love that song and it fits them so well.)

NO BIG DEAL (I LOVE YOU) by dodie / Another @emmiebea choice that I just had to include. There are two very different ways I think of this song, but I think they both make sense for MSR. I paired it with "Satellite Call" because of the wordlessness of both songs. "You hold me like it's already said / I don't mind, I will do this dance for the rest of my life / for as long as you want." Even though it is a big deal (especially for MSR), I feel like this song fits them so well because it also isn't a big deal—their love for one another is so obvious, so matter-of-fact, that in many ways it doesn't feel like it needs to be said. It's just there. So they act like it's already been said and like it's okay. But there's the other side of this song as well (the one that I think is how most people would read it/what it more clearly is about), the part that's acknowledging why it hasn't been said (and that it needs to be explicitly said)—they're acting like it's no big deal because they both know it is. They're afraid and telling themselves it's no big deal, they just love each other. Which is soooo much of their relationship. But I think the paradox adds to the depth of this song—they're kidding themselves that it's no big deal, but it also is no big deal. It's so natural that to make it a big deal feels almost disingenuous, in a way. It's both. I could get caught in this forever because this song lives so beautifully in the grey.

TWO by Sleeping at Last / I will never ever get over this song. It might go on every OTP playlist ever, I don't care, it still fits so well and is so them! "You know I'll take my heart clean apart if it helps yours beat" and "No, I don't want to talk about myself / tell me where it hurts / I just want to build you up, build you up / 'til you're good as new / and maybe one day I will get around to fixing myself too" and "I just want to love you, love you, love you well / I just want to learn how, somehow, to be loved myself" and "like a force to be reckoned with / a mighty ocean or a gentle kiss / I will love you without any strings attached / and what a privilege it is to love / a great honor to hold you up."

I WANNA LOVE YOU FOREVER by Kate Vogel / I love the sweet simplicity of this song and the simple desire to love you forever. I think the whole song fits them so well, but there are also specific lyrics that make me think of them, in particular: "my head fits right on your shoulder, my palm fits right in your hand." Because it's true! They fit together so well!!!!

YOU ARE IN LOVE by Taylor Swift / I loved this song to begin with, of course, but I remember the first time I thought about it after seeing Scully and Mulder and feeling like I was going to combust. It's SOOOO them. "You can hear it in the silence, you can feel it on the way home, you can see it with the lights out—you're in love, true love." And even though I need to remake this, there's a reason I couldn't stop myself from trying! The part that I think about so often, though, is this verse: "one night he wakes / strange look on his face / pauses, then says: you're my best friend / and you knew what it was / he is in love." Because that's what makes me crazy!! They are each other's best friend!!!! They constantly want to be with each other!! They make each other laugh and they love each other so much and I just!! I can't even be normal about this song and explain why I love it for them, I'm just over here crying and becoming more and more incoherent about it!!!! It's fine, I'm fine. I ended on this song because it means the playlist ends with "you're in love, true love. You're in love." And at the end of the day... that's just it. They're in love, true love. [cries forever]

[qqueenofhades]

Good Omens Season 2: Some Thoughts (and also Screaming)

First, /screams

Second, obligatory disclaimer that this meta contains MAJOR SPOILERS for all six episodes. If you somehow have managed to remain virginally unspoiled, look away now, scroll past, or add "good omens s2" and "good omens spoilers" to your block list, as those are the tags I have been using for all posts and reblogs.

Third, /screams more

Okay okay okay. Deep breaths.

Anyway, so, uh, how about all that, huh? First, the good thing about the tone of the season overall was that it felt considerably darker and more adult, in a good way. We didn't have the precocious kiddies, the kitsch and literally-comphet Anathema and Newt, the so-clever narration, etc. All that was gone, which makes sense when you consider that a) the end of last season saw them reboot into an entirely new universe, and b) the fact that God has gone silent is, in fact, a major plot point for the season. We don't have Her slyly telling us the story, or indeed anything, and everyone is left to make their own judgments and take their own actions. Which, obviously, gets them into a lot of trouble, especially when Metatron (the Voice of God, aka someone acting in the belief that they're speaking for God and therefore doing terrible harm) swoops in with the ultimate buzzkill at the end of episode 6. But we'll get to that.

The downside was that the main, present-day plot (hiding Gabriel in the bookshop and trying to get Nina and Maggie to fall in love) was fairly thin, felt stretched out and at times weirdly paced, and otherwise existed mostly to get us to That Ending and the setup for season 3. But the ending was so damn good (if obviously, very painful) that I can't be TOO mad, not least because we spent six episodes with them just making absolutely no pretense about the whole thing being as incredibly homosexual as possible. I'll be honest: I did not think they were going to actually, explicitly go there. Neil Gaiman has been so consistent about "your interpretations are valid and you're welcome to read it however you want, but the only canon is what's on screen," which I think is frankly a good thing (not least since the Neil GAYman Cinematic Universe is consistently very, very good to us queers), that I just... didn't quite think they'd pull the trigger. Sir Terry is dead and can't have active input, this is based on a book published 30 years ago, maybe they didn't want to make it LIKE THAT... etc. I certainly hoped, but I didn't really think they would.

Uh. Well.

As I said in my various semi-coherent liveblog posts, I honestly don't think there was a single straight person in the entire season, among both major and background characters. Aziraphale/Crowley and Maggie/Nina are the obvious paralleling couples, but Beelzebub (using "they" pronouns and addressed as "Lord" despite presenting as femme/femme-adjacent) is clearly nonbinary and therefore also queer, and the countless gay/queer side characters were just /chefs kiss. From Job's son making a sassy pass at Aziraphale, to the random Scottish goon with Grindr on his phone (which he then gives to Aziraphale, because what is subtlety), to the interracial couple with the trans spouse at the Pride and Prejudice ball, there was just a lot of casual, unremarked, non-story-critical queer representation visible at every turn. It's like the NGCU saw the bigots wailing about Sandman season 1 being extremely gay and went CHALLENGE ACCEPTED, LET'S MAKE GOOD OMENS 2 EVEN MORE GAY.

God bless.

Obviously, Jon Hamm as Amnesia!Gabriel stole the show (he was SO fucking funny) and it was also incredibly fun to watch Miranda Richardson repurposed as a scheming demon. Nina Sosanya also reappeared as Nina the coffee shop owner, which leads us into the Maggie-and-Nina subplot. They're obviously, wildly, incredibly clearly an analogue for Aziraphale and Crowley themselves, but they're also each, crucially, a mix of both. On the surface, Maggie is Aziraphale: the plump, blonde, earnest, sweet-natured one owning a slightly dated book music shop and somewhat clueless about emotional nuances, while Nina is (also on the surface) Crowley, the hard-edged dark loner who doesn't want to open herself up to people or be spotted caring. But emotionally, Maggie is Crowley: the one openly pining, clearly besotted, only wanting to hang around their crush and do whatever they can to make themselves useful, while Nina is Aziraphale. Interested but reticent, attracted but conflicted, trapped in an abusive relationship with a demanding offscreen "lover" (Lindsay/Heaven) who tries to constantly control and shame them without ever offering much, if anything in return. By the end, they bring themselves around to what Maggie/Crowley are offering, but by then, well. We've got a lot more problems on our hands.

As I also said in my earlier posts, this entire thing has always been a metaphor for religion, queerness, and what religion -- especially abusive, fundamentalist, organized religion -- does to queer people, but they really cranked the FUCK out of that metaphor this season. Aziraphale is guilt-tripped, controlled, and shamed for his attraction to Crowley at every turn. He is torn between his imagined duty to Heaven, in all its ignorant, uncaring, bureaucratic, gratuitously cruel system that he still insists on seeing the best in because he can't bear the alternative, and the chaotic and sometimes grey but genuinely more good morality that Crowley offers him. (Can I just say, we were explicitly shown that the two of them together doing "just a little miracle" are more powerful than Heaven AND Hell combined.) And at the end, he's told that the only way he can be with Crowley -- what Metatron explicitly blackmails him with -- is if they both go back to heaven, submit themselves to the cruel system again and give up everything that has made them who they are: their home in London, their human friends, their reliance on each other, their independence, their own ways of doing things. You can be queer in this (religious) framework, but only the limited, watered-down, controlled, controllable, constantly-under-supervision kind of queer, which relies on both you and your lover "converting" back to the true faith. And if you don't cooperate, they will literally kidnap you, lie to you, manipulate you, take you from your soulmate, and force you right back into doing the one thing (destroying the world) that you never, ever wanted to do in the first place, because in their minds, that is still better than this. It's for your own good.

Ouch.

And the thing is: that's why the ending a) hits so hard and b) is so fucking painful, because of course Aziraphale agrees. He has no conception of being able to defy Heaven on his own; he has always, always needed Crowley for that. In the flashbacks, when Aziraphale is faced with an order from Heaven that he desperately does not want to carry out (such as letting all Job's children get killed), he still relies completely on Crowley to "outsmart the rules" and find a better way. Crowley is A Crafty Demon; that's what he does, and so Aziraphale rationalizes it to himself that therefore that must be fine. Even in season 1, when he really didn't want the Apocalypse to happen but initially thought it was his duty as a good Heaven footsoldier, he relied on Crowley to talk him out of it and allow him to do what he really wants instead. That's their whole dynamic in a nutshell, as exemplified in that scene in episode 2, where Crowley tempts Aziraphale with the "pleasures of the flesh" while sprawled on his back in Ravish Me mode like the giant walking gay disaster that he is. (Sorry, buddy. That beard. Can't do it.) Everything that Aziraphale's existence is, that makes him who he is, that he loves and cherishes the most (in this case, food and wine) comes from Crowley. Everything else is just background noise.

Throughout the season, what we see is Aziraphale increasingly coming around to the fantasy of being with Crowley. He's coy and flirty; he talks about "our car" and expects Crowley will let him (which he does); he wants to have a Jane Austen ball and for them to dance together (oh my heart); he even thinks, at the crucial moment, that the best way for them to be together is to go back to heaven just like they were in the beginning, once more perfect angels, as if those entire six thousand years of struggle and grief and pining and separation and falling didn't happen. And Crowley -- poor, poor, brave, devoted, heartbroken Crowley -- has just heard for the first time in said six thousand years that actually telling the person you love how you feel is an option. Maggie and Nina tell them point-blank that their whole stupid plan failed because people aren't chess pieces who can be moved and automatically achieve the desired result. And of course this gobsmacks the dearest and dumbest Ineffable Husbands, because they can't conceive of anything else. People are chess pieces in the Great War of Heaven and Hell; Aziraphale and Crowley themselves are chess pieces who have been desperately trying to get out of being moved by external forces, but that doesn't change the fact that that's what they are. They don't have volition or agency aside from that which they can sneak for themselves in brief and stolen moments. That's it.

Until, well. It's not it. They discover that this whole would-be war is actually an elaborate ruse to cover up another angel-demon romance, that of Gabriel and Beelzebub. (I'll be honest, I'm 99% sure they did this storyline because they saw the fans crackshipping them, but I appreciate a fictional narrative that values and incorporates its fans' input, rather than trying to constantly "trick" or "outsmart" them or "do what they don't expect.") And Gabriel and Beelzebub get to be together, but only by leaving their world forever. They have to desert their homes, their structures, even their own identities, and never return. And Crowley and Aziraphale are so rooted in their "precious, perfect, fragile" life in their little corner of Soho, with their bookshop and their Bentley and their dining at the Ritz (which they didn't get to do in the end because METATRON /shakes fist), that that just doesn't work. Neither of them can conceive of doing that. So Aziraphale thinks "go back to heaven and try to make the terrible system do some good and take what we can in terms of being together" and Crowley just... pours out his heart. He's ready to fucking propose. He barely stops himself from saying something to the effect of "I want to spend eternity with you." He begs, he pleads with Aziraphale to go away not in the literal sense, but the emotional/metaphysical: to finally break this toxic dependence on Heaven and tell them once and for all where to stick it. And because he is desperate to make Aziraphale understand, he finally throws all caution to the winds and recklessly, desperately, adoringly kisses him, the one thing he's wanted to do for ages and...

Gets. Shot. Down.

Ugghhhhh. I'm suffering all over again. Aziraphale wants him, hungers for it, for them, and yet he's been so abused and so conditioned by Heaven (he's still blithely repeating to Crowley's face that "Hell are the bad guys!") that he just cannot accept that kind of desperate, blind, limitless, lawless affection. He even forgives Crowley for this "transgression," just to really twist the knife, and Crowley just can't take it, can't face up to how terribly this has all gone up in flames, after he went to heaven trying to find the answer for Gabriel's situation. Gabriel, who he fucking hates. Gabriel, who tried to kill the angelic being he loves (and for which Crowley has transparently never forgiven him). And yet at one pouty puppy-eyed look from Aziraphale and a warning that whoever is harboring Gabriel might be in danger, Crowley leaps headlong into the Bentley again and rushes to the rescue while "Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy" is blaring. He stoutly protects Gabriel; he does a miracle to disguise him; he lets him have hot chocolate and stay in the bookshop; he guards him from the literal demonic horde outside. All because of Aziraphale. That's it. And then, it still doesn't work. Not only that, Gabriel's absence and decision to forego Armageddon gives Heaven the one tool they finally need to take Aziraphale away from him.

I repeat: Ugghhhhhhhh.

(In a good way. Ngl, I love this angst. This is the kind of angst my brain Thrives on, the Thematic Parallel Romantic Character Arc kind. Nom nom nom. But also: AGONY.)

I also need to talk about Aziraphale driving the Bentley, aside from the obvious metaphor of him being in Crowley's home while Crowley is in his. Last season, we had the "you go too fast for me, Crowley" scene with them sitting in said Bentley, which was Aziraphale saying he's not ready for a relationship. In this season, as noted above, we see Aziraphale increasingly embracing the potential fantasy of being with Crowley. But here's the catch: when he's in the Bentley this time, driving it, setting the pace, acclimating to the idea, he's driving his own idea of what the Bentley/his relationship with Crowley is. It's not the real thing. He plays classical music; he supplies himself sweets; he turns it yellow; he drives too slow. Crowley calls him in another old-married-couple snitfit to complain that Aziraphale's messed it up, but what Aziraphale has actually messed up (or will, by the end of the season) is far more consequential than just a car. He's changed the entire shape of their relationship to the one he thinks can make it work, and it just doesn't. It has to be them -- "we could have been... Us" -- or it's not even close to the truth. It's not worth their time.

I repeat: Ouch.

Speaking of the writers validating fan theories, I know we all picked up and screamed about on Crowley's idea of Peak Romance Guaranteed To Fall In Love being sheltering from rain and gazing into each other's eyes, which confirms that that poor bastard was indeed ass-over-teakettle gone as soon as he met Aziraphale (again) in Eden. I also need to talk about the 1941 redux, because wow. This time, the danger comes from Hell, which we see being its usual self: gleefully, pointlessly cruel, pettily backbiting, dirty, sniping, tedious, endless, determined to mindlessly destroy because They're The Bad Guys and they like it. So they blackmail, spy on, miracle-block, illicitly photograph, and try to prove that Aziraphale and Crowley are secretly a couple, right after Aziraphale himself has just had the Light From Heaven realization that he's in love (which we all also picked up on in s1). They're forcibly outing them (to speak of more Religious Queer Trauma) in order to break them up/get them into trouble with their authorities/families. Aziraphale and Crowley manage to escape it mostly by dumb luck, but Crowley having an altogether freakout, hands shaking, barely able to actually point the gun at Aziraphale even in the knowledge that it's supposed to be fake, is just... wow. He can't even fathom the idea of ever trying to destroy him in earnest, especially when he knows on some level that Aziraphale also finally just realized his own feelings. So I just need to --

/screams

Anyway, Aziraphale's entire arc this season is doing what he thinks is the right thing and then inadvertently causing harm and damage as a result. In the Edinburgh flashbacks (live slug reaction of me: SEAN BIGGERSTAFF???!!) he tries to stop Elspeth from stealing bodies and gets Morag killed and Crowley drinking the laudanum to save him (though that part with David Tennant just riffing left and right, using his natural Scottish accent, and being Tiny Crowley/Huge Crowley was hilarious). He invites his neighbors to a Pride and Prejudice ball and makes them all the target for demonic attack. And of course the Job episode: Aziraphale, horrified at Heaven's callous cruelty, desperate not to get Job's children killed, willing to go along with Crowley's tricks to save them somehow, tempted by Crowley to do the fucknasty with their angel bits eat some food and decide that he likes it. As mentioned, the whole thing about God being silent this season is a major thematic choice. The only time we see/hear God is Her communing with Job from afar. Aziraphale enviously imagines the answers he must be getting (he's not, he's baffled and perplexed), while Crowley longs beyond words to even have the opportunity to ask the question: why? Why do this? Why is this your plan?

And of course, this absence culminates in the Metatron, the Voice of God, the person arrogantly claiming that they're speaking for God and know exactly what Heaven wants, being able to seize Aziraphale by the short hairs and absolutely fuck him over. Gabriel is gone/decommissioned/eloping with Beelzebub, so Heaven needs a Supreme Leader (God apparently is no longer a factor in the equation). And what this Supreme Leader needs to do is finally unleash the Apocalypse that Gabriel decided to pass on (the Second Coming). Aziraphale needs to be punished, taken away from Crowley's influence/love, and put back under Heaven's explicit control, so Metatron spots a great opportunity to do all three at once. It's not an accident that the exact tool he uses to get Aziraphale to agree is "now you can actually be with Crowley!" Aziraphale and Crowley have been trying so hard to hide out from their respective Head Offices, but now all at once, there's this seemingly miraculous opportunity for them not to have to do that anymore! They can be together! They can be sanctioned by Heaven! They can give up all this hiding and sneaking around and lying! Isn't that better?

... As long as, of course, they give up absolutely everything that makes them who they are. No big deal. Minor catch. Probably nothing.

Metatron doesn't let Aziraphale have time to escape, or think it over, or reflect, or anything. He pressures Aziraphale to come with him immediately, or be once more subject to Heaven's implicit wrath/destruction/judgment. Believe me, Aziraphale already KNOWS he's made a huge mistake, as soon as he hears what Metatron really wants: bringing him back to unleash the Apocalypse that Aziraphale and Crowley have given up literally everything to prevent. He doesn't need time to reflect. By the time my man is in that elevator, he's well aware of what a catastrophic misjudgment he's made, and yet --

Aziraphale needs this. He has, as noted, literally always relied on Crowley outsmarting Heaven's cruel orders in order to prevent himself from having to do them. He's relied on Crowley rescuing him ("rescuing me makes him so happy," WELL BUB, IT'S BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS NEED IT). He admits to Crowley's face that "I need you!" He hates Heaven's sadistic meanness, but he has absolutely no framework, in and of himself, to defy it. When the rubber hits the road, he will crumple and try to go along with it, and now he's been put in a position where he's going to have to stand up, defy Heaven, and make the break once and for all BY HIMSELF. He doesn't have Crowley around to do it for him, he has no support, he is going to arrive in Heaven and be shuttled straight off to the Apocalypse 2.0 War Room. The only way he gets out of this is if he actively stands up, if he chooses himself and Crowley and their life, and he has to.

The thing is:

Aziraphale has lived his entire eternal existence Looking Up. Up is the direction of Goodness and Heaven. Up is where Angels go. Up is where Aziraphale comes from and where Demons and Hell are not. But now he's going Up, in a position to take over the whole shebang, and it's the last thing he wants.

So he's going to have to come back Down.

He's going to have to Fall. He's going to have to get back Below at all costs. He's going to have to finally, once and for all, understand what led Crowley to make the choice to leave Heaven and never come back. It's only then that they can possibly be together on any kind of conscious, equal, deliberate footing, claim their own agency, reject Heaven AND Hell, and try to really earn that South Downs cottage and that happy-ever-after, and it's gonna hurt so good.

Now if you will excuse me, /screams

[1-800-kami]

agnes, just stop and think a minute

gojo satoru x reader (1.2k)

" you're gone but you're on my mind, i'm lost but i don't know why. ,,

warnings: CHAPTER 236 SPOILERS, reader and shoko r going THRU it, i wrote this during a mental breakdown, denial, semi-comfort at the end

a/n: when i found out about what happened i just spent 2 hours on social media just. watching everything gojo related and i kind of wanted to reflect my reaction through this word vomit of a drabble. i haven't cried at all but i just feel so devastated and oh my god it's been terrible. rest in peace to my bb </3

based off of one of my favorite glass animals songs (agnes) that i've always associated with gojo.

you like to think that grief in your life always comes and goes.

it’s a part of being a jujutsu sorcerer. each day, new people are trained to become one, and others die the same day. there are new beginnings, and people who meet their ends. you know sorcerers out there who have completely closed themselves off just so they don’t have to experience the soul crushing feeling of grief. 

it’s like a bud, they say. a bud that forcefully plants itself in your heart, and you can do nothing but watch it grow as it takes hold of every part of your being. people describe the feeling in many ways: a weight on top of your chest that won’t cease, or a part of your heart that’s been ripped away, and nothing in your life seems to fill the remnants of it. 

you’ve experienced grief in your life many times. loss is so normalized as a sorcerer that you’ve almost lost count at this point, but the ones that have hit you the hardest are the deaths of your closest friends: kento nanami, yu haibara, and geto suguru. they haunt your thoughts every day, up until the point where everything feels asphyxiating and you sometimes want to join your friends too.

you think that geto’s death hit you the hardest. 

you remember geto’s disappearance and the night parade of a hundred demons like it was yesterday. the hardest pill to swallow about his death was the fact that it could’ve been prevented. geto’s lifeless eyes made you see parallels from the weeks leading up to his disappearance. he just needed a push in the right direction, but then you couldn’t even do that and you didn’t see all the signs of his deteriorating mental health. you just felt so guilty, even though your friends assured you that it wasn’t your fault.

seeing geto’s body for the first time after 10 years made you wail uncontrollably–and you had to be forcefully pried off of him despite your screams of protest. the most prominent thing about his body were his lifeless eyes–and guilt coursed through your veins as you knew that they were probably devoid of life even before his death.

that guilt stuck with you for a long time, and you felt it until you thought that it would consume you whole.

that’s why shoko was hesitant to show you gojo’s body.

she knows that you would have an emotional outburst again, like last time. actually, she knew this one would be worse, because geto was a best friend to you, but satoru was the light of your life. he was your lover. your soulmate, even. the reason why you were excited to come home everyday. he grieved about geto with you, and you held each other when you both cried… usually when december 24th was nearing again. you think that, without satoru, you don’t know what you would do. you kept each other sane and grounded.

so you don’t understand.

why is his body in front of you right now? why are all your students crying around you and mourning gojo’s loss? it’s all the sorcerers are talking about right now, and you just don’t get it.

he’s the strongest, so why did he fucking leave you behind like this? no, no. he wasn’t supposed to lose that fight. he said it himself. he said he’d win, right? he’d win, and he’d come home, albeit injured, but home nonetheless. he’d celebrate his victory with you, and life would go on. so why did he lie?

that’s the only word coursing through your head. why?

you tried not to think about anything right now… like how there was probably so much crimson red on that battlefield. if you saw it, you’d think that the red would leave an everlasting stain in your mind, to the point where you’ll never forget about it. no matter how many times you’d wash your hands, all that red would still be there, and you hate to think about it.

you like to think that grief in your life always comes and goes.

people describe the feeling in many ways, but if you had to describe how you felt right now, the only word you’d use is empty.

you feel so utterly empty and hollow, that you can’t even bring yourself to cry or scream.

shoko’s surprised at your reaction. when she told you what happened, you became eerily silent. your eyes and gojo’s were practically identical. both so devoid of life, that all she can bring herself to say is, “im sorry.”

what do you even say at a time like this? what do you say to someone who’s had their heart ripped apart again and again as they watch each of their friends die? for you and shoko, it’s happened four times now. four is too much. you can’t bring yourself to believe it anymore.

no. this isn’t real.

this isn’t happening right now.

you move for the first time in what seems like ages, and you place your hand in gojo’s open casket, tucking a stray pearl white strand behind his ear. you observe him for a minute. he looks so peaceful, now that he doesn’t have to worry about his infinity or constantly being on his guard anymore.

“shoko, i think he’s hungry.” you say, feeling the ice cold veins in your chest stilling.

your words catch shoko off guard. “huh?”

“he’s hungry,” you repeat simply, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. you look away from his body and turn to leave. “i’m going to go buy kikufuku for him.” 

you suddenly remember all of the dates you’ve had with satoru, where you buy many sweets like kikufuku, but he always made sure to save you some. he’s known for his notorious sweet tooth—putting one too many sugar cubes in his drinks, but he’ll always share his sweets if it’s with you. even if it was kikufuku.

“it’s his favorite after all.”

you walk out of the funeral, leaving behind the confused and sympathetic looks of everyone there. shoko sighs at your reaction—she’ll let you go for now. everyone’s processing this in different ways, so she can’t blame you for how you’re dealing with satoru’s death. she’ll just hope you’ll learn to accept it soon.

on the way to get kikufuku, you spot a pet shop nearby. there’s a fish tank on display, and you notice that one of the tanks has a white betta fish inside. it’s the same shade as satoru’s hair, and you feel your feet moving on its own as you walk to the glass. you exhale with a shaky sob, placing a hand on it. i love you, satoru. i won’t say goodbye, though, cause i’ll be there eventually.

you make sure not to say “soon” because you knew that if you took your life with your own hands instead of letting fate choose your death, satoru would never let you hear the end of it. so you’ll keep living. you’ll keep living for yourself and satoru, even though you want to join them. every single day hurts and it also hurts to even breathe sometimes. though you know, somewhere out there, satoru and your friends are cheering you on with every step you take.

wait for me… okay?

the betta fish suddenly notices your presence, and swims up against the glass. so close, yet so far. you take that as satoru’s answer. it was like you could hear his voice directly speaking to you.

i’ll always wait for you, no matter how long it takes.

you smile for the first time today, even if it was barely a smile. you felt a familiar presence with you on the other side of that glass, even if it was just for a short moment, and it gave you what strength you had left to keep moving.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Initial thoughts on that article - I’m excited! I mean the journalist needs to do a bit more homework (I’m looking at you sentence about Eddie kissing Kim!) and I’m always going to take anything Tim says in an article with a giant handful of salt, but by and large all he said is telling me that the arcs for all our characters seem to be interesting and varied.

This got so very long so it’s going below the cut - but if you only want to read the buddie stuff then start reading where I’ve changed the text colour (so you can find it easily - because I’m nice like that!) 🐝🐝🐝

I love that Tim described madney and henren as being a family unit outside of the firehouse and I’m really excited to see that built upon - I loved that we got more hen and Maddie interactions last season and I want more of it. So I’m looking forward to seeing that dynamic develop as part of the Mara arc.

Ortiz hs so much potential to be a truly great villain - with a more sustained arc - something the show hasn’t ever really done and I’d like them to. Ortiz v Hen as a half season or more plotline would be so good and exploring corruption in politics and how it corrupts other public systems and services would be such a great thing to explore (and Aisha would knock it out of the park)

I’m going to say here that season 8 is very much screaming season 3 redux at me - all of the things we know thus far all seem to parallel season 3 events, even down to the bee-nado - which is starting to sound more and more like a mirror of the tsunami - in that the tsunami wave itself was only a brief thing, but the aftermath was where the major incidents and action was for all the various characters and the set up of their arcs. And Tim saying the bees set up I’m super excited for that as a concept.

Since we first saw them filming on a plane I’ve been wondering if we were going to be seen if another 70’s disaster movie homage and it seems I was right - my money is on Airport 77 being the movie in question

And I’m really interested in who it’s going to showcase and what part of her history were exploring. I would really love to see them exploring the Jeffery arc and her trauma from that, but I’m not sure that’s what we’ll be getting (Jeffery being dead doesn’t negate this exploring that part of her story I just don’t think it’s where we’re going)

My feeling is it’s connected into Emmett in some way. It was ‘resolved’ in Athena begins and then never really spoken of again, so maybe we’ll be seeing Dennis Jenkins (the guy who shot Emmett) as one of the prisoners on the plane and Athena will have to confront her remaining trauma there and possibly the damage arresting DJ has had after all that time he passed.

On to Bobby - what can I say technical consultant bobby is going to be perfection. Bobby has had some heavy arcs over the past couple of seasons so it’s pretty obvious he’s got the comic relief arc for at least 8a. I’m really looking forward to seeing Bobby being done with Hollywood etc. And I’m really excited to see how they get him back to the 118 where he belongs.

Onto the bit I know most of you are reading this for!!

The Buck arc is screaming lawsuit redux at me and that ties in nicely to Bobbys arc. Instead of Buck being stopped from returning to the 118, this time it’s Bobby. Gerrard is the Chase Matthew’s of this situation and so I remain convinced of my assertion that buck (having learnt from the lawsuit arc) is going to initially fail against Gerrard before he figures out getting close to him and therefore being able to figure out his weaknesses is the best way to get rid of him and get Bobby back.

The Buck T*mmy section in the article of it all has me laughing so very hard I nearly fell off my chair.

Look, this ‘relationship’ is still fairly new and they are still in the ‘getting to know each other’ phase, so I wouldn’t be expecting Tim to start waxing lyrical about them as a couple, but saying this;

To describe the first queer relationship of one of your mains, whose entire storyline last season was his bi awakening, when it’s at the point when everything should still be new and exciting isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement of said relationship.

It’s entirely possible to gush about a relationship - especially one that is essentially groundbreaking on your show - without giving any plot away or making it seem like they’re endgame.

More comfortable together is the only thing you could come up with to describe them as a couple? - what does that really mean? Comfortable is how you describe a pair of slippers or an old hoodie that’s all worn in and soft. If you’re using more comfortable as one descriptor in a longer sentence with other descriptors that shows the development of said relationship then that’s totally acceptable. But to use it as the only one (aside from saying they’re a couple), well that screams of a relationship that is a plot device.

And you know what else backs that up as a concept - Tim proceeds to use the rest of his answer to the question about Buck and T*mmy’s relationship to talk about Eddie and Eddie and Buck and their relationship. So what I’m getting is that Eddie is still at the centre of things within that relationship - just as he has been throughout the entirety of s7 - where Buck and Tommy managed to have a grand total of 3 scenes out of nearly 20 together where Eddie wasn’t either present or spoken about at length (and one of those was literally just a scene of them kissing!)

Even using the word comfortable again to describe Buck, Tommy and Eddie hanging out together (anticipating some sort of scene that echoes the karaoke bar scene - where we get petty jealous Eddie and I can’t wait!). Which means comfortable is a very intentional word choice - not one that bodes well for the longevity of the reltionship.

So what I’m getting from that. Is that ‘more comfortable together’ means boring and that Tim is using the relationship to create the same distance we saw between Buck and Eddie in season 3 during the lawsuit arc - the distance that ultimately brought them even closer together and led to Eddie changing his will.

Season 3 was when the show really established buddie as a thing - they lay the foundations in s2, but s3 was when they tested and then built the walls of that dynamic ready for the pieces to be put into place over seasons 4 & 5 so they could make buddie canon.

This BT relationship is literally being used to put Eddie in the same space he was in in s3 - isolated (thank you Ryan for that word choice!) because Buck is not available to him as much (or at all in the case of s3) so he spiralled out in his grief over Shannon’s death and joined a fight club.

All this to say that the chess pieces are being manoeuvred in a really positive direction on the buddie front and I expect to see 8a following a somewhat similar pattern as 3a did - big opening disaster which sets up the various arcs, which includes being shown buck and Eddie’s closeness initially, only to separate them off for a bit so Eddie can have his gay awakening (fight club minus the fight club) and Buck can do some more figuring out about what he actually wants of his own (lawsuit without the law suit) and then bring them back together in time for Christmas - which they will spend together with a newly returned Christopher (mirroring s3 Christmas perfectly) and the rest of the firefam.

Even the Eddie question backs up this as a theory;

I’m fully expecting to get Eddie having conversations with his parents - via call and FaceTime - but not with Chris because he still won’t talk to his dad. The choice to say everything has been stripped away from him except his job is also giving some echoes of s5 - juxtaposing when Eddie essentially had everything else except his job which lead to his breakdown. Tim is a master of deploying subterfuge whilst also using very intentional words - so this comment is making me excited. It’s (to me at least) saying that Eddie is secure in his job and there is not really going to be any drama on the job front. That in the past eddie connected his worth to whatever job he was doing (army, his three jobs in El Paso firefighter) so when the job was taken away he had no worth and that therefore meant he was a failure as a father and a husband - so he spiralled out. Now he has his job and he’s in a good place with that and knowing how his worth as a person isn’t tied into that job. Now instead he has nothing else - all the things he’d tied his worth onto away from his job are suddenly gone so he has to go back to the drawing board and this time look at himself and who he actually is and why he wants.

The choice of the word ‘hell’ is also a choice - ‘who the hell he is’ - season 7 laid the groundwork for edddies reckoning with the catholic faith (former nun Marisol, Eddie talking about being a lapsed catholic and catholic guilt and bobby giving Eddie the bible etc) and we know they’ve been filming in a church. Hell as a word choice is just backing that up and hinting at the idea that Eddie figuring out who he is and choosing living his life as his true self would damn him to hell in the eyes of his religion. So gay Eddie here we go!!

This was supposed to be a quick ‘ooh I’m excited everything is being perfectly set up’ post and then I did my usual thing and write a mammoth essay 🤣 so if you’ve read all of this - thank you and I love you and I hope you enjoyed it - can’t wait to hear your thoughts!

[sc0tters]

Different Paths | Jack Hughes

summary: 5 times Jack and your paths ran parallel to each other and the one time they finally became perpendicular.

song: Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince

request: yes/no

warnings: none.

word count: 1.61k

authors note: this is officially the end of the 150 celly! I struggled to write this one but I’m very happy with where it ended up. Thanks for all of the love and support that it’s been given and we’ve only just gotten started.

His brother’s best friend was all Jack was never meant to see you as.

Luke had always been your best friend, you were like tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumb whenever you were around each other. The friendship started when you were four and it was around a similar time that your feelings for Jack begun.

Of course though at that age they were simply because a pretty boy looked at you.

1.

Luke and you were in the kitchen as you ate the berries that Ellen had cut up for you two. Jack walked in with some of his friends from hockey as it caused you to grow nervous “hey Luke,” the middle Hughes boy had a grin on his face as he realised that he could screw with his brother. You turned pink as Jack locked eyes with you, it shouldn’t have been something you were okay with but the older Hughes boy always caused your heart rate to increase.

You smiled “h-hi Jack,” the boy sent you a wink as he stuck his hand into Luke’s container “mom!” Luke groaned as he watched his brother take half of his fruit.

Jack laughed as he shoved the sweet fruit into his mouth “get your own fruit!” The youngest Hughes boy added as he wasn’t impressed.

A soft voice left your lips “you can have some of mine Jack.” You offered as you held out your container with a smile.

The middle Hughes boy couldn’t help it when his heart felt warm, you were always just so sweet “no thanks sweets.” He shook his head as he ruffled his hand in your hair,

For now Luke was going to have to sit there and watch the way his best friend looked at his brother.

2.

Quinn was like the big brother you never had, he always knew what to say and when to say it to you.

That’s what brought you on the couch as you told him about all of your life worries.

You should have felt stupid as jealously coarsed through your veins at the thought of Jack with that girl from down the road. It was stupid, yes you knew it was but as you could hear her laughs from the other room you almost wanted to scream “I know it’s crazy,” you mumbled as you crossed your arms slouching back into the couch cushions.

It was tough trying to remain calm “it’s not crazy at all,” Quinn shook his head as he placed a kiss on your temple.

Jack had seen the whole thing go down as he was meant to get himself and his new friend a drink. As much as he appreciated how comfortable you felt with Quinn he just wished that you’d be like that with him.

The way you were an open book with his older brother made him long for a day when he could be like that with you, even with something a little more.

3.

You must have fifteen at the time, everyone was back in the lake house just how they were every summer “you coming or what?” Quinn called out as you had been soaking in the sunshine as you lay in your swimsuit “where to?” You furrowed your eyebrows as you got up and held your hand up to your forehead to block the sunlight.

Trevor let out a low whistle as he saw yours bounce in the bikini top that you were in “stop looking at her like that,” Jack sent the older boy a glare as he joined in the watch party.

Puberty had truly hit you like a truck over the last year. Your breasts had gone up two cup sizes, your waist was now more pronounced as your ass was rounded.

Jack knew it was wrong of him to see you in the light that he was, but he simply couldn’t help it “don’t be jealous cause you didn’t say it first.” Trevor warned as he shrugged smirking as you walked onto the boat “got a space next to me for ya sweets,” he offered as he patted the cushion next to him.

Luke gagged as he heard the shameless flirting come from his lips “I’ll sit with Luke.” You shook your head “thanks though Trev,” Jack felt like the Cheshire Cat when you sat in between the two boys.

The middle Hughes smiled as you looked at him “hi,” your own smile was now clear as you had also just lost your braces just weeks before the lake house.

His hand danced over your knee “hey sweets.” Jack had given you the nickname because you always had a sweet tooth, Trevor was the first one who chose to steal it.

4.

Just like always you were dragged along to watch Jack play hockey, it was your families Friday night tradition as you were always in the crowd to watch him play.

Luke had his arm around your shoulder as the two of you made your way into the players area “I’m gonna go say hi to them,” Luke explained as he gave you a soft squeeze before he walked over to his coaches.

You weren’t left for long though as Jack found you “hey sweets,” he smiled as he held his arms out.

He was still sweaty as he was in his gear and still in his skates “like seeing you this tall,” you joked as you let out a laugh.

The boy scoffed “I’m always tall,” he mumbled as he furrowed his eyebrows.

Everyone watched on with a sense of curiosity as you reached up to brush some of the hair out of his face “keep telling yourself that,” an amused smirk spread across your face.

Ellen knew all about your crush on her son, it was hard not to. The way your eyes lit up when you saw him, or how your cheeks would grow hot whenever he’d touch you. She also knew that her son felt similar to you because of the lingering glances that were always sent to and from each of you. It was amusing how clueless Luke was as he never seemed to notice how this was the worst kept secret that you two had.

5.

The big day for you and Luke had finally come. You two were officially graduates from high school. Since you arrived at school that morning you hadn’t seen Luke because you were both so apart from each other in terms of your last name.

So naturally when the ceremony ended you both ran back to your families who had been sat together “woah there sweets,” Jack smiled as you bumped into his back.

Your cheeks turned pink “sorry Jack,” you were quick to apologise as you brushed your hair out of your face,

The boy hooked his fingers under your jaw “I’m proud of you,” he confessed as he softly pinched your chin “high honours and all,” he added as his fingers brushed over the scarfs that you had gotten.

A toothy grin formed on your face “‘m more than just a pretty face,” you joked as a soft laugh fell from your lips.

His reaction mimicked yours “you have been,” Jack mumbled as you practically melted into his touch.

“Y/n!” Luke called out totally unaware of the sight in front of him as you whipped your head around.

It was like clockwork, you ran into Luke’s arms as you tackled him in a hug.

That was a constant reminder that Luke was always going to be first in your life.

+1

You always enjoyed laying on the boat as it was still docked. It gave you place to simply just think, and the boat rocking in the water was always soothing “thought I’d find you here.” Jack smiled as he jumped onto the boat.

The quietness that you loved was now gone, not that you were complaining though as you patted the cushion next to you “didn’t know you were looking for me,” you mumbled as you had almost fallen asleep so you let out a yawn.

It brought a chuckle from his lips “don’t tell me I’m boring you already?” He joked as he watched you shake your head.

Jack grew comfortable in his seat next to you “you’d never bore me,” you confessed as you shook your head.

His hand moved to your knee as he grew nervous. It was a feeling that Jack wasn’t used to usually, it was something he only grew to know about when it came to you.

It would have made you melt if you knew the way he thought about you. Your heart was full in that very moment, despite the fact that Luke was so far away. In fact maybe that’s what made you feel at ease, it made you not feel as guilty about your feelings for the boy in front of you.

The air around you two was dense as the tension could have been cut “what are you thinking about?” You asked as you turned to face him, your lips dangerously close to his.

He smiled “thinking about kissing you,” Jack confessed as he let his filter get thrown out of the window.

You giggled as a grin came across your face “thinking you should do it then,” you could barely get that statement out of your mouth before Jacks lips were on your own. Your sweet cherry lipgloss invaded his taste buds as he let his hand move to the back of your neck not wanting to lose you just yet as he let out a groan pulling you onto his lap.

“Always knew my sweets would taste so good.”

[grimoireofhayley]

Of Friends and Horror

Stu Macher x Fem!Reader x Billy Loomis

Word Count: 1.6k

WARNINGS: Graphic content, Smut (MINORS DNI), Language, Talks of SA, Cheating, Obsessiveness, Gore, 18+ Content, Stalking, Possessiveness, Dirty talk, Religion talk, Suppressed Mental Health problems (I.e., reader has some issues that she isn't aware of)

Taglist: @ev3ningrain @nerdytif @fanfic-enjoyer123 @darkenwolfie @juda-the-simp  @colsons-baker @junnniiieee07  @ok-boke @ren-ni @katie-tibo @bruce-yamada @kenma-izhu @cookielovesbook-akie @elevenpurple @hyunlix-world @mavix @halleest

A/n: Oh-my-god, I am so sorry for the major delay! Trust me, I was in the middle of writing the chapter the same day I said I would post it, but being a mom is super-duper busy and they will always come first and I completely forgot to post the chapter, but here it is FINALLY.. My twins are now 3 so they’re acting like teenagers, but toddler form; super bossy, extremely demanding, always and I MEAN always keeping me on my feet. Plus, I had to re-write it as I didn’t like how the first attempt at chapter 14 sounded 😮‍💨 Anyways, I barely have time to write, but when I can, I hope you all enjoy it. I hope this chapter is up to your liking! More chapters are still on the way, A LOT MORE. Keep in mind, the Billy scene in previous chapters and this scene is my first time writing smut/smut related things… 😓😓😓 Lastly, Thank You ALL so much for getting me to 405 followers! I’m in disbelief 🫢💜

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Chapter 14

Gulping, you shakily took the phone off the counter, hanging it up and unplugged it from the wall, making sure no calls would come through anymore that night for her sake.

Looking over, you saw Sidney gripping at her brown hair, pulling it in every direction, her jaw clenched, yet, her teeth chattering; she wanted to scream, shout and cry, but couldn’t. Her pale features now a rouge from both exhaustion and terror. Her sanity seemed to slip away bit-by-bit each time Ghostface would call; preying on her, taunting her, humiliating her.

“What, what!?” Dewey came running from his room, waving a gun around in his white t-shirt and blue and white striped boxers.

Tatum tsk-ed at her brother’s tardiness, pushing passed him to follow Sidney.

You rubbed the nape of your neck, placing your other hand on Dewey’s shoulder, “Next time.. maybe be a little quicker.” You laughed, half-heartedly, trying to make light of the situation, seeing how confused Dewey seemed to be.

__

“(Y/n) (L/n) and Sidney Prescott who were both…”

Before the news reporter finished his sentence, Dewey shut the tv off, pulling a chair out from the kitchen table, sitting down.

“Billy was released.”

Your ears perked at the sound, relief washing over.

Sidney’s eyes lit up, but she still clearly had her doubts.

“His cellular bill was clean. He didn’t make those calls..” Dewey stated, grabbing a carton of milk before pouring some of it into his coffee. “We’re checkin’ every cellular account in the county.” Dewey finished, taking a long gulp of his un-sweetened drink before continuing. “(Y/n), Sidney..” He eyed both of you, “Any calls made to you two or Casey Becker are being cross-referenced, it’s going to take some time, but we’ll find him.”

Tatum nudged you and smiled at Sidney.

__

Dewey pulled into the school lot with ease, parallel parking at the curb.

He got out and opened the door for you and Sidney.

You smiled at him, thanking him quietly, and he tilted his hat at you as Sidney got out next.

However, your smile quickly faded, seeing a reporter running towards your side; most likely to ambush both you and Sidney about what happened.

“(Y/n) how does it feel to know the murderer is lusting after you and nearly butchering your friends? Do you know who the killer is, are you a part of his twisted game?” A red head asked, shoving a mic at you, accusing you of being his partner-in-crime.

You scoffed, irritated, but somehow calm, honoured that she knows the killer wants you.

“What about you, Sidney? How does it feel to be almost brutally killed?”

Sidney bit her lip, already wanting to cry.

Dewey stepped in front, shoving the reporter away.

“Hey, leave them alone!” He shouted, towering over the petite woman.

She stumbled back, but wasn’t giving up.

“People want to know. They have a right to know!”

You, Tatum and Sidney bolted, getting away from all the interrogations this woman was sure to have up her sleeves.

__

You were pressed against a locker; your mid back arched causing your torso to move forward; and your arms folded, pushing your breasts together, making them pop out.

“This is a mistake, I shouldn’t be here…” Sidney huffed, grabbing her books and slamming her locker door shut.

You sighed, plopping a sucker in your mouth; twirling the red treat around your tongue, pursing your lips tightly around it and without meaning to, your eyes landed on Stu who was already watching you.

You blushed and he smirked, liking how you looked with your mouth full.

“I want you to meet me right here after class, okay, Sid?” Tatum spoke and Sidney nodded.

“Hey, Stu, I haven’t seen Billy around… is he really pissed?”

Stu tore his gaze from you, looking at Sidney.

“Oh, you mean after you branded him the Candyman?”

You shoved Stu slightly, giving him a glare.

He winced, “No, his heart’s broken—“

Suddenly a scream was heard and the four of you looked into the direction it came from, spotting a student running down the hall dressed as Ghostface.

You blushed again, seeing the full cloaked figure and that ghostly-white mask again.

‘Fuck, that’s hot.’ You smirked slightly, turning your head to the side, trying to subtly check out the student who’s dressed up like the murderer, you let out a quiet “Mmph” squeezing your thighs together.

Unbeknownst to you, Stu heard your moan, and knew exactly what you were doing with your thighs. Luckily, the others did not, but he is so glad that he did. He can smell the hormones leaking off of you; they were practically oozing with want for the cloaked-killer.

He bit his lip, trying to contain his excitement.

“Why are they doing this?” Sidney spoke, watching the student run away.

Stu, glanced at you, “Are you kidding me? Look at this place, it’s like Christmas!” He laughed, a devious smirk prying at his lips as the comment was directed at you. You were his Christmas, knowing the woman he wants is full blown horny for him, for Ghostface.

Tatum huffed, hitting him with the lollipop you had given her prior, “Stupidity leak.”

“Hey!” Stu shrieked, immediately looking at his girlfriend, while the school bell blared, signalling the start of class and students were quick to get going.

Sidney ran down the hall, upset at Stu’s comment and Tatum ran after her. You sighed, looking down, picking up your bag in the process. You went to go wave ‘bye’ to Stu, but he vanished.

“Huh?” You mumbled out loud, seeing how he was gone and so was every other student that was there nearly two minutes ago. “That’s my cue…”

__

Tapping your fingers against your hip, you hummed to the tune of ‘Your Dead’ by Norma Tanega.

You stopped in front of the janitors closest to reach for your Walkman that was in your bag, wanting to blare the song in your ears, hoping that actually listening to the catchy tune would make it stop repeating itself inside your head.

Though, the universe had other plans…

You felt the door swing open, hitting you, knocking you out of the way, making you drop your only source of music.

Soon after, a hand covered your mouth and an arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you into the closet.

A scream hitched in your throat as the unknown figure flicked the light on, revealing who the culprit was…Stu.

“Stu, what the actual fuck was that for!?” You narrowed your eyes, clenching your fist, ready to punch him out of fear.

He laughed, but soon afterwards told you to be quiet, locking the door behind him as he stepped forward.

“Shh, I don’t want anyone to hear us.” He whisper-yelled, getting closer to you, placing both hands on either side of your arms.

He was a good two-to-three feet taller than you.

“I saw you, you know…” He bit his lip again, rolling the flesh with his teeth, gripping your arms tighter.

You looked up at him, confused, not sure what he meant, however, a part of you knew where this might be going.

“The way your face went red, how you rubbed your thighs together..” He taunted, poking your nose, “Let’s not forget that sweet-little moan you let out when you saw that student…” He leaned into the crease of your collarbone, nipping at the skin, the coolness of his lips penetrating your warmth.

Your face was hot with yearn, but also embarrassment. “The student who was dressed as the Woodsboro slasher…” He grinned, feeling you shiver at his touch.

“W-what—“ You began, trying to act like you didn’t know what he was talking about; ashamed that you were caught. You were quickly silenced by Stu pressing his lips against yours, his bulge pushing up against your side.

His fingers danced across your arms to the string of your grey tank top, ripping it from your body with force as the sound of the thin material shredding lingered in your ears. Fortunately for Stu, you didn’t have a bra on…

Your breasts jiggled from the impact, bouncing in place which caused a small guttural growl to emit from Stu’s throat.

Stu immediately grabbed your boob in his right hand, rubbing his thumb across the perky bud, while his other hand gripped at your bare side, his fingers digging into your ribs.

He narrowed his eyes slightly, staring at the finger prints you already had bruised into your skin. They almost lined up with his own marks, but his were slightly bigger. Stu only quirked a brow, continuing to fondle your breast, not wanting to ruin the moment by asking.

Stu trembled at the thought of someone else having you, but he was sure to find out who and kill him.

“M-mm..” You let out a breathy moan, making Stu lose track of his thoughts,“But T-Tatum—“ you stuttered, holding back another sound as he slid his hand into your shorts, rubbing your clit through the silk of your panties.

He hooked his finger under the band, pulling you even closer, his forehead pressing up against your own.

<— Previous Next —>

[skyeoak]

Thoughts on tmagp episode 24

*cough* my sister had a newborn a few months ago. Here’s some red flags about “the health visitor” from today’s episode:

- newborns feed every 2-3 hours, usually 2.5. Idk if this is different in the UK but I don’t see why it would be.

- most babies are born with greyish eyes, which changes over time. If Rupert’s a newborn when she’s talking about his black orb eyes, this is maybe a red flag?

- “I couldn’t scream, I didn’t want to wake him” AHHHHHH oh god the psychological horror of having a newborn aghfjgjfhhhhhh

Very Rosemary’s Baby, but instead of going full satanic panic, “Raising Issues” focuses on the self-sacrificial narrative mothers are told, and how that leads to a dangerous and isolating situation as Patricia ignores every red flag in sight. I had my head in my hands. Honestly, I wish we’d dived deeper into the socioeconomic stuff rather than the body horror because back to back with “A New You” it felt like too similar of a story structure, even though imo they’re meant to be parallels.

23 and 24 have been so similar that they’re definitely intentional contrasts to each other. One’s from Chester talking about how you can long to change yourself so fully only for it to all go wrong, and this one’s from Norris about destroying yourself to support the one you love… I am ill, actually. Screaming crying relistening to the last recording in this case file and finding all the points that are reminiscent of Mag 170 (Recollection).

These lines specifically are making me think. Once again, I am ill.

Chester: “Alesis Newman is leaving this world and whatever comes next – though she may look like me in some ways, though she may carry a part of me with her – she’ll be better. Free of all my mistakes. Perhaps people will like her more than me. I already like her more than me. I want to see her walk off happy and strong. I hope she doesn’t feel this now, just be the good parts of me. (hoarse) I hope it’s like I dreamt, I hope she has my eyes…”

Norris: “I can’t remember when… when I last… had sleep. I think… I think days…” + “I don’t know what’s going to happen. There’s not much of me left. I’m so scared. But at least Rupey’s happy…”

Considering this is the first Norris case file in over 10 episodes (since episode 12, unless I’m wrong) and he’s literally just reading the stuff between recordings, I’m a bit concerned.

Who the fuck is reading this statement and why didn’t they mention it to Celia IMMEDIATELY? If it was Sam, he knows she has a kid and is in a support group, and if it was Celia herself, then idk why she isn’t at least concerned (that’s suspicious, Celia.) I guess Gwen and Alice don’t know about Jack, so they’re off the hook.

ALSO rupert? A red name? Philosopher’s stone alchemical reference? Or just referring to the blood he’s feeding on?

I know I’m gonna see a ton of takes on this episode being like “this is why I’m childfree” and, like yeah, I’m not planning on kids either but this story is such an extension of existing social structures that I hope we talk, at least a little, about the social narratives at work here about pregnancy, parenthood, and childcare.

[zahmaddog]

Part 1: Making Friends on Pabu

Quick summary: You're new to Pabu and looking for a new start. You meet the Bad Batch under some. unusual circumstances, and Crosshair immediately stands out to you as handsome and someone you can trust. ---

This is my first stab at some fan fiction. It's fluffy AF and probably mostly safe for work? I'll list my "warnings" below as I've seen in other posts. The whole team (except Tech) is in the story, but it's mainly focused on Crosshair. Crosshair x fem!reader | Word count: 3,016ish. Warnings: Alcohol, Flirting, Gun Fire, but it's pretty SFW. I might write more and I'm just letting myself write whatever, so who knows, it could get NSFW later. So don't get hooked on this story if you're underaged. Lmao, but I'm really not that confident in my writing. It was a fun exercise and felt a bit like journalling. I haven't just, written for fun like this since creative writing in high school over a decade ago. I'd like a fresh start on Pabu. Lmao. I hope you all enjoy. I really liked reading the fan fiction I could find from other Clone enthusiasts on here. Ya'll are a cool bunch of people.

The mercenaries were right; Pabu could be the means of a fresh start. You had cut ties with nearly everyone you knew, took your shares of the earned bounties, bought a ship, and then bought a boat. 

Out on the water, you sailed until you couldn’t see the island any longer. You cranked up your club music to an ungodly level, poured yourself a drink, and kicked back under the stars. 

It doesn’t get anymore remote than this, you thought to yourself. You let your heavy eyes close and you faded into a deep sleep; your body recognized it hadn’t felt this safe in years. You slept through the night and into the late hours of the morning.

—-

“Is all that noise coming from that ship?” Omega looked at Crosshair. 

“Uh-huh.” He scowled and squinted his eyes to examine the ship on the morning horizon.

“Well, we’re not going to catch any fish at this rate. They should know not to be so noisy this early… Or ever.” Omega continued. “I guess we can turn the engine back on and see what’s going on with that ship.”

Omega ignited the ship’s engine and steered the bow to the mysterious vessel. The water was smooth in the early hours. The sun reflecting off each wave and rock on the sea. Crosshair enjoyed these early mornings with Omega. Sometimes Wrecker would join, but as he had become a staple in the Pabu fishing crowd, he found himself surrounded with friends easily. Crosshair, still silent and stoic in most circles, often stayed with his family.

“Hey!” Omega called out to the ship. “You’re scaring off all the fish!” She steered her ship parallel and killed the engine. The music’s thumping bass pulsed through the water, shaking their ship.

“This is louder than 79’s,” Crosshair yelled to Omega.

“What? What’s 79’s?” Omega yells back.

“A club!” Crosshair tries to be heard over the booming bass.

“A club, like to hit something with?” Omega was confused. Crosshair just shook his head, not wanting to scream over the music a third time. He looked over into the ship to see you, motionless through the music. He and Omega shared a concerned glance that you were perhaps dead and floating out on the waters of Pabu alone. Omega jumped into your boat, racing over to your side to see if you were alive. 

She touches your shoulder, which sends you from your deep sleep into a panic. You grab your gun off the side table out of instinct, but before you can turn back, you hear a blaster fire; then you fade back asleep. —

You awake again, still on your boat. The music had stopped. Your head pulsing with every heartbeat. The world spun; the ship gently rocked back and forth. You clasped your head in your hands as you swung your legs to the side of the beach chair to sit up properly.

“Did you stun me?” You looked at the young blonde stranger on your ship. You felt at ease seeing that only a child had climbed aboard.

“I did.” A voice behind you hissed. You spun around to see a tall, thin, but built man leaning against the rails of your ship. 

You raise an eyebrow as you look back and forth between the two invaders. Their eyes, similar in shape and color, you asked the young woman, “Is he your father?”

“Father?” She said back with a confused face. “No, I’m Omega, and this is my brother, Crosshair.”

You look back at the man. Crosshair nodded in your direction to acknowledge his introduction. His eyes, mysterious and dark, studied your figure. You followed the outline of his jaw to his lips, which pursed a toothpick. Crosshair was deeply handsome. You turned your attention back to Omega.

You whispered to her, “Is your brother single?” Omega, turning confused towards you again, “What do you mean is he single?” Omega stammered at a normal volume. 

“Shhh!” You put your finger to your lips and hush her softly through a laugh. “Geez, kid. Relentless.”

You look back at Crosshair, who had obviously heard Omega repeat what you asked. His eyes narrowed and he looked at you suspiciously. 

“Anyway, I’m sorry to have woken in such a fright. I came out here to be alone.” You rebroke the awkward conversational ice.

“Obviously.” Crosshair rolled his eyes at your remark.

“We’re out here fishing. Your music was really loud, so we came over to ask if you could turn it down.” Omega explained.

“Oh.” You nodded back. “I’m sorry for all the noise. I guess I fell asleep.” “How do you sleep through all of that?” Omega questioned.

“I didn’t think I would drift off to it. I guess I was that tired.” You apologized.

“Well, don’t bother us again.” Crosshair flicked his toothpick in your direction and jumped into he and Omega’s ship. 

“Sorry, he’s pretty… severe in nature, as my other brother would say.” Omega whispered in your direction. “Do you live here on Pabu?”

You shrugged and began, “I–” “Omega! Let’s get back to work!” Crosshair called from their ship. “Sorry, gotta complete this morning’s mission.” And with that, Omega ran to the railing and hopped to her ship. “I’ll see you around, right?” Crosshair hit the throttle and they were off. Omega waved goodbye to you and then cast a net out for fishing. You watched the pair accelerate away, leaving you alone. You looked to your chair-side table to see your pistol missing. “Dammit, he took my blaster.”

—---

You docked your ship at the lower levels of Pabu late that afternoon. You had wasted nearly an entire day as the sun set on the ocean once more. You gathered your pack from the ship and jumped from the ship’s bow to the dock.

“We built ramps to walk up the dock, you know.” A long-haired fellow laughed. 

“Right, sorry.” You nodded in his direction. “Cool tattoo.”

The man touched his face, as if he had forgotten it was there, “Thanks. The name’s Hunter.” He threw his hand out for you to shake. 

You dropped your bag and shook his hand firmly, looking into his dark eyes.

“Huh, you have the same eyes as someone else I met today.”

“Hey! It’s you again!” You heard Omega run down the dock towards you and Hunter.

“Ah, that would be who I met.” You said to Hunter. Omega, with her running start, leaped onto Hunter’s back to be eye-level with you. 

“That’s the woman that asked me if Crosshair was single!” Omega announced. Hunter laughed, “Oh, is that right?” With a look of comedic-disbelief, you raised your finger to your lips once more “Shhh!” Omega giggled, “What? I don’t see what the big deal is.” Hunter, picking up your bag and asked “Well, do you have a place to stay tonight?”

Feeling uncomfortable, you take your bag off his shoulder and slide it back on to yours. “Yeah, I have my ship.” You studied Hunter cautiously.

“Well, do you have food for tonight?”

Hunter was kind and genuine. “I have some rations, but are you extending an invitation?”

“Indeed we are.” Hunter smiled softly. You thought about turning them down, but it had been a while since anyone wanted to see you. You were thought to be an introvert because of the solitude you maintained, but rather, your solitude was only from broken friendships and bad deals. “Please?” Omega smiled. You nodded in her direction. “Okay. But only because Crosshair stole my blaster.”

Hunter rolled his eyes, “Of course he did.”

—-

“And this is my brother, Wrecker!” Omega led you into the kitchen area, parading you around like a trophy. 

“Hey Kid! And, kid’s friend!” Wrecker howled. Astounded at his size and volume, you took a step back. His whitened eye, connected to visible scar tissue screamed of life experience and horrors. His demeanor juxtaposed his appearance, as his jovial laugh filled the room. 

Omega led you to your seat at the table and sat down next to you. “Wrecker! She’s the woman that asked if–” You turned to Omega, jaw-dropped that she was about to embarrass you once again. She met your eyes and changed her sentence halfway through. “Asked if–you were a good cook?” Omega shrugged. “Am I a good cook? Well, I’ve never killed anybody in the kitchen!” Wrecker laughed. “Well, except for that one time–” And he stopped himself. You laughed, “What one time?” Your laugh drifted into an uneasy silence as you looked at his scars again, now realizing it probably wasn’t a joke. Hunter broke the silence, “Well, we’ve seen a lot of action over the years. But I promise you, it’s all over now.”

Wrecker threw a pot of food on the table and with a proud smile announced, “Dinner is served.” “Where’s Crosshair?” Omega asked Hunter. “I–I don’t know. I let him know we had company.”

“He’s probably out watching the sun set again.” Omega reached for the serving spoon. “Uh, Omega, let the guest serve herself first.” Hunter motioned towards you to take the spoon. “Right, I’m the one to check if it’s poisoned.” You replied back, halfway joking. Wrecker shot a smile your way, “I promise my food has never killed anyone.” He had that similar genuine kindness that Hunter expressed. You reached for the serving spoon and dished up. 

“So, what’s your story? Or, I guess, what’s even your name?” Hunter taking the serving spoon says. “Right, uh.” You give them your first name and paused for a moment. Your fears quelled in your gut as it hadn’t been easy to tell your story lately. “I’m from–I was, well, I’m starting over here on Pabu.” 

“We are too!” Omega beamed.

“What do you like to do?” Hunter asked.

It was such an easy question, but you went blank. “I–I guess I’m figuring that out again too.”

“Hmm.” Hunter studied your face. “You look like you’ve been through a lot.”

“I get a similar feeling your family has too.” “Was it the Empire?” Omega touched your arm. The sincerity of experience in her voice pulled at your heart. You realized then they were all survivors, fleeing the Empire. “In a way, but no.” You responded back. “I was involved in a close-knit group, but some of us had a different idea of how to run things. I cut my losses and wrapped up what ends I could to escape.” You stirred the food around your dish, “I wouldn’t expect anyone to understand.” “We might understand better than you’d think,” a familiar voice hissed from the door. 

“Glad to see you back, Crosshair.” Omega jumped up and pulled out a chair for her brother. In a single protective motion, he sat in the chair and moved Omega to stand behind him. “I see you didn’t follow my instructions to leave us alone.” Crosshair leaned over the table to invade your space. You felt the tension of the room ignite as he stared into your eyes, hoping to intimidate you. 

“Crosshair!” Hunter interjected. You relaxed and leaned back in your chair, proving Crosshair’s intimidation tactic didn’t work. “Give me back my pistol and I’ll be on my way,” you replied. Wrecker groaned, “Aw, but you just got here!” Crosshair leaned towards Wrecker, “But you don’t know what she is!”

Omega’s face drained into a look of concern, “What do you mean, ‘what she is?’ ” Crosshair took his toothpick from his mouth and emphasized his words, “She’s a bounty hunter.” Omega, concerned glances from Crosshair back to you. Hunter and Wrecker tense up a little. You didn’t react well. Grabbing a pathetic dinner knife, you stand up from the table in a combative position. Knocking drinks from the table, Wrecker, Hunter, and Crosshair all pull weapons from their belts, and the stand-off begins. 

You and the men wait for someone to move first. Their six eyes, or well, five eyes, melted your skin. Omega broke the silence. “Can you stop with that? Crosshair, how do you even know she’s a bounty hunter?” Omega says as she lowers Hunter’s knife for him. 

“Tech’s records.” Crosshair sighed. “She matches a description of a bounty hunter that engaged with the Separatists near the end of the war. Then I cross-referenced with Echo’s files which revealed her deals with the Empire.”

Hunter looks at you, “Well, is that true?” “Would it matter if it was true?” Your voice broke. “Yes!” All three harmonized. “Look, I’m not a bounty hunter anymore.” You started, then dropped your guard completely. “Like I said, I’m here for a fresh start.” You put down the dinner knife and met their gaze once more. They were still ready to jump on you.

“And I’m not involved with the Empire any longer,” you insisted.

Omega motioned Wrecker and Crosshair to lower their weapons. They relaxed a little, but kept their eyes focused on your movements. You nodded in Omega’s direction in gratitude and broke the silence again, “Thanks for the dinner invite, but maybe this won’t work out.” In a moment of trust, you turned your back to the family and walked out of the home. 

You started towards the space port. 

—- You unlocked the door to your ship as you heard someone call your name. You stopped and turned. Crosshair made a small effort to wave hello as he walked closer to you. 

You put your bag in your ship and locked the door again. You walked down the ramp to meet Crosshair. His lips opened slightly, as if he were to begin a sentence, but instead rubbed his forehead. You waited in silence with your arms crossed. “Here.” He reached out with your pistol in hand. You met his reach and he pressed the pistol into your palm. For a stoic man, his brow and eyes communicated a lot. He glanced up at you and back to the ground. “Thanks.” You placed the blaster back in its holster. 

“We, or I, don’t trust very easily.” He revealed. “Omega, Wrecker… And Hunter, they’re all I have left.” He motioned towards your weapon, “So, don’t point that at my family again.” “I’m sorry.” You looked to the side, “You know, I don’t trust anyone a whole lot either. I mean, how could I?” 

He didn’t even look to acknowledge the comment. He really wasn’t much of a conversationalist.

You looked up from the ground again and started in a monotone, “What did you read in my file?”

Crosshair stood a little more upright and engaged back with you, “You have a reckless reputation... And worked bounty jobs for the Empire.”

“I’ve made mistakes,” you corrected, then calmly stated, “But I couldn’t keep living like that.”

Crosshair took a deep breath and focused his attention to the ocean.

“I too have made mistakes.” Crosshair nearly whispered as he took a step away from you and placed his right hand into his left. “Reckless mistakes.” 

You looked closer, only to realize his right hand was mechanical. Crosshair turned to face you again. You studied the scar on his temple and his face tattoo. 

“I should get back.” He turned, but you reached out and touched his shoulder. 

You started, “Look, I was wondering, if —“ 

Crosshair cut you off “If I’m single?”

You felt the corners of your lips creep up into a small smile and you let your hand slide down his arm.

“No, well, that too, but I was wondering if you were thirsty?”

Crosshair raised an eyebrow.

“Do you want to come aboard my ship for a drink?” You motioned towards your ship.

“Why do you have an interest in me? What trick are you playing?” He scowled.

“No tricks,” you promised. “You… intrigue me. And somehow, I feel I can trust you.”

He stood there in silence, evaluating his options. Crosshair knew he could just go home, listen to Omega talk about her dreams, and have a peaceful evening overlooking Pabu from his bedroom balcony. Or, he could take this stranger up on her offer and escape being “Crosshair” for a moment. He realized it would be nice to talk to someone that didn’t know his past.

“One drink.” He insisted. 

You gave him a soft smile and remotely opened the door to your ship. 

—-

You and Crosshair were three drinks in when he turned to you and realized time had slipped by faster than expected.

“Omega is going to tease me relentlessly for the next week.” Crosshair chuckled and swirled his drink. 

“What else are little sisters for?” You smiled back.

Crosshair continued to chuckle for a moment, thinking of Omega and how close they’ve grown. As he sat next to you in your ship’s booth, he turned to face you.

“Do you have siblings?” Crosshair inquired.

“I did, yes.” You begin to tap the table with your fingers. His eyes bore into your soul. 

“Did?” Crosshair muttered.

“I believe they’re all still alive, but I expect I’ll never see them again. Well, they don’t want to see me again.” You shrugged.

Crosshair looked intrigued. 

You continued, “I grew up in a rather… well, orthodox society. Everything was laid out for me in life: education, code of conduct, dress standards, diet, who I’d marry, and more. When I left, it was required by the society that my family no longer contact me.”

Crosshair listened intently. The unexpected attention made you feel at ease.

“How old were you, when you left?” Crosshair questioned.

“Old enough to turn to bounty hunting for quick money.” You shrugged. “Desperation will make you do some stupid things.”

“That it does,” Crosshair agreed. 

You leaned forward slightly and raised your hand to Crosshair’s cheek, letting your thumb trace the outline of his face tattoo. 

“Is this out of desperation? Your… fascination with me?” He took your hand from his face and held it between you and him.

“You didn’t see me stick around to see if Hunter was single.” You laughed.

His face remained unchanged.

So you continued your joke, “And we both know there’s no way Wrecker is single.” 

That line earned you a small smile from him.

You took his hand in yours, tracing his fingers.

“No, I don’t think it’s out of desperation.” You looked up into his eyes, “Do you trust me?”

Crosshair clasped his hand around yours.

“Oddly enough, I do.”

—

Part 2: The Warning

[impala124]

Bad Buddy Ep 8

My thoughts on Ep 1 | Ep 2 | Ep 3 | Ep 4 | Ep 5 | Ep 6 | Ep 7

Me, at the end of this episode:

Awww. Pran really went from not knowing about Nong Nao doll to snuggling with him in a matter of days.

Wait a fucking second. How dare they just give me a shot of their photos together on Pran's headboard? No, I need the lore behind each and every one of those pics.

Pat is serving him breakfast in bed. And making references to the first time Pat slept over❤️.

The (rival) faculty shirts hanging on the wall side by side in the background are just chef's kiss.

A major chunk of their relationship is happening off-screen, so it's running my imagination wild. You know what that means—a lot of potential for fanfics. Help a girl out and share your favorite BB fanfics!

I've seen ice cream kisses before (thank you, Brian Kinney), but thanks to Pran, I'm witnessing ketchup(?) kisses too, though not as explicit and that's okay, I'll take it. I love it when they are playful with each other.

Pran, my beloved, taking 0.001 seconds to adjust to holding his boyfriend's hand in the corridor is just AGFDHKH

I mean, they weren't technically lying to Pa; they just happened to live in their own version of the play they were supposed to be rehearsing.

Pa is onto them, but being the best sister she is, isn't pushing for more details.

Excuse me, what do you mean they held hands behind Pa's back while she was walking ahead of them. I'll take this, please and thank you; the parents and their rivalry can go to hell for all I care at this point.

I know they are taking me to the highest of highs to push me down to the lowest of lows. Let me get my parachute out.

WHAT SHOULD WE HAVE FOR DINNER?! Nothing is easy with Pran; my son has to make Pat guess the answer he's giving using the fucking Thai xylophone. Once again, I ask, why is this kind of flirting not seen on any shows airing right now?? I want this back on my screen so bad!!! I want to scream about it in real time. Who do I need to write a letter to to make it happen?

I do feel bad for Director Toto, first, one of the main leads quit, and now the new main lead is busy fooling around with his music composer, but, Sir, be careful there; don't hurt Pran.

Ink is on my screen WITH Pa. Why is Wai here? This manipulative asshole is dampening my good mood. Oh, he wants info on Pa, but Ink, my girl, isn't having any of it. Get his ass, bestie!

Drinks with Wai or dinner with your boyfriend? Seems like an easy choice, Pran. Drop Wai's ass, stat.

Can't wait for the day Wai finds out that Pa is Pat's sister!! I hope he doesn't find out until he's in too deep with Pa. Might seem a bit schadenfreude, but I don't like that boy at all.

Pat telling Korn that he's having dinner with his mom and Pran telling Wai that he's having dinner with his dad will definitely not come back to bite them in the ass. FOR REAL.

My boys are making the grave mistake of not having at least one person who they are both familiar with be in the know about their relationship. Pran, bestie, send me your mail ID so that I can link you to some sources as to how to be in a secret relationship successfully.

Okay, so someone knows about their relationship. Who could it be? My money's on Wai. When Pran mentioned that he was meeting his father for dinner, he must've followed him because his mom loves having Wai over. It can't be any of Pat's friends because they are impulsive shitheads and would've been on Pran's ass the second they saw him approaching the car.

More of Ink and Pa, I've been blessed. Thank you, senior, who couldn't make it to the restaurant.

I am not enjoying watching Pran be so helpless on the rooftop!!

Acts of service, my beloved!!!

Oh Pat, my lovable puppy, you didn't really think this through now, did you?

The parallels between the play and their reality are very clever because Pran is never going to talk about his issues with Pat openly, at least not yet.

Pran's "I'm just the music guy shtick" is so funny that even Toto is like, I'm on my way to book a hall to hold a fan meet with you guys after the play, byeeeeee.

Pran, you are just not a sound guy anymore. So, Wai found out that Pa is Pat's sister. I mean, Pran disclosed it to save his boyfriend's ass, so I'll take it.

Pran waxing poetic about love😍, but with Wai🤮. I have a lot to say about this conversation; put a 📌 on it for now; I promise I'll get back to it. Needless to say, PRAN officially became a HALL OF FAMER in my favorite blorbos of all time category.

Oh, incoming angst, how much I hate you and love you at the same time.

I snorted out loud when Pat's dad said, When did I teach you to lie? Sir, with all due respect, which is none in your case, the correct question to ask YOURSELF would be, Where did I go so wrong that my son couldn't be honest and had to resort to lying to me? Just a suggestion; take it or leave it.

Not the fucking "I thought you knew your priorities, but clearly I was wrong." How about asking your son if he WANTS to play rugby anymore? You, sir, are on a TIMEOUT again, indefinitely this time.

Pran, my beloved, I know that you're new to the whole boyfriend thing, so let me offer you a crash course. When your normally happy and upbeat boyfriend calls you sounding sad and dejected and asks if you're free to talk, you say YES AND LISTEN TO HIM.

I knew you were a quick study. Now, cheer up your boyfriend.

Virtual hugs, my beloved!!! And back hugs too!! Why are they so stinking cute??!

You heard it here first. Pran is Pat's Nong Noo (baby girl)!!

Call me a wuss, but Pat saying, Familiar scent of you, while sniffing Pran's shirt, made me tear up a little. "Give me a big smile with small eyes. Show me your dimples." AAAHHHHHH. It should be illegal to be this cute!!!

Not Pran keeping up with the elevator bit till the end.

Pat could wear Pran's shirt, but no, my baby boy draped it over his already covered chest.Now, I need to know for reasons if this is the same shirt Pat borrowed last time, because it looks the same, but Pran might have multiples, so is there any way I can know for sure??

Oh Pran! Oh no, Pat took off the shirt. My boys are hurting.

Wow. Pat playing the Thai xylophone to express that he's upset and the fucking montage!!! I'm in tears.

Oh, the little detail of Pran looking around to see if anyone's around before approaching Pat😭

Okay, it's good that they are apologizing to each other. "Aren't you afraid people will find out? I am. But I care about you more." Pran, when I catch you—

Pat, you damn cheeseball, with your "Telling the world we're not just friends.". STHAP IT!!

FUCK!!! What in the ever-loving hell just happened?! What do you mean the curtain fell down? And the theater isn't empty.

Let me note that the curtain falling down is so fucking symbolic because the curtain falling indicates that something has ended, and in this case, the secrecy of their relationship has ended.

Oh my god, their friends are in the audience. Wai, you fucking asshole. You were the one who saw them leaving in the car together, weren't you? You switched on the sound, and everyone heard Pat saying that Pran is his boyfriend. Why are you the fucking worst?? Were you not held enough as a child? Maybe you were mad that Pran lied to your face and discouraged you from going after Pa, but this isn't how you treat anyone, least of all your best friend!! I don't care for your reasons; I hope you rot in hell!!

Now, I expect Pran's mother to make an appearance in the next episode because he's involved in the play with Pat. Now, why did Pran agree to take on the role of the music composer? It's because Wai fucking manipulated and guilted him into doing so.

Pran's conversation with Wai at the bar:

Our facalties are rivals..... Do you really believe Pat's family will accept you? In the end, you have to keep your relationship a secret. It's an exhausting relationship. It's so hard just to see each other. It's tough just to talk to each other. It's not important enough that it can't be reversed. No moving forward because it's a deadend. It's a kind of relationship that I always avoid unless a relentless puppy that I'm particularly fond of enters the equation.

There we have it, the crux of the issue. Pran doesn't believe that he's worth taking that chance, because, as I've mentioned before, Pat might be willing to throw caution to the wind to see where things land, unlike Pran, who deeply believes that he brings bad luck to Pat (backstory required asap). They can't move forward until they resolve this issue.

It actually makes me think that it was very intentional that it was Ink who took Pat to the noodle shop in the last episode, the same Ink who told Pran that she isn't interested in Pat romantically, because if it were a potential romantic interest for Pat in the picture, Pran WILL back off because Pran feels like he doesn't have the right to feel jealousy over Pat. On the other hand, Pat, my beloved, doesn't have any such hangups and feels like it is his god-given right to feel jealous of Wai in relation to Pran.

To end on a happy note:

Pat's " If my victory puts my boyfriend in trouble, I'd rather lose." 🤝 Pran's "I'm afraid of the world finding out about us, but I care about you more."

Tagging the usual suspects: @shortpplfedup, @incandescentflower, @starryalpacasstuff, @7nessasaryevils, @greenteadumplings, @grapejuicegay, @madworld-bbs, @usodeshou, @tao-moonb, @fanatic-freakshow . If anyone wishes to be tagged in the future, let me know.