#each post i make the tags become crazier and crazier

[aritamargarita]

GOLDEN || 007

me after lying for more than a week. the streak is over guys. but it wasnt my fault ok it was actually tumblrs!!!

the fact i have had to revise this chapter around five times GOOD GOD. i finally found an idea to focus on. originally wanted it to be strictly ecw, but we ended up heading on back to wcw lol. shorter than id like it to be but..i split it heehee

id also like to clarify things our tenure is like: ecw (1994-1996) > wcw (february 1996-september 1997) > ecw (october/november 1997) > wwf (december 1997)... how fun is that? hope that makes sense i think i talk about lore too much (yes i will go into detail)

YOU THINK TROUBLE follows you almost everywhere you go. When you went to WCW, you just wanted some peace. Of course, you’re just so unlucky that you can never EVER get what you want.

“Did you seriously crawl all the way from the ring?”

You’re not sure whether to commend him for his efforts or just be disappointed.

“Jeez, you’re so pathetic,” You say. “You can’t even stand on your own feet. I almost feel sorry for you.”

Raven doesn’t have the energy to look up, but he definitely knows it’s you. His vision is blurred, with the only thing in his view being your shoes.

Your voice sends Raven into a frenzy. While he hates the way you’re talking down to him, he loves the sound of it. He’s not sure if it’s his mind being all woozy.

….He’s bleeding, too. It’s noticeable, especially on his face. Some of his curls were also stained with red. You knew for a fact Stevie and Sandman did a number on him during his match.

Especially since the latter swung by afterwards and spilled the deets. Sandman was already lighting up a cigarette by the time he got to you. You can only wonder how he got it so fast..

“I set him straight.” He said, a puff of smoke hitting you in your face.

You wave it out the way, scrunching your nose. You’re not entirely sure what he said, but you don’t really care. “Can you—can you like, at least blow somewhere else?”

He just laughs at you. “Needed you to get your head out of the clouds.”

You’re unsure what number cigarette he’s on now. You’re too busy stuck in your thoughts to care. “I was listening, I-I swear.”

“Oh yeah? Then what did I just say?”

“…….”

Your silence causes him to puff more smoke in your direction. Goddamn it. You’re going to have a problem with him if you end up getting any secondhand smoke symptoms..

“Ha. Knew ya’ weren’t listening. I’ll say it again. You didn’t do it, so I ended up doing it myself. You’re letting this idiot fuck you guys over.”

At the time, you definitely weren’t listening. You were backstage pacing back and forth, hoping that Stevie made it out alright. You hadn’t seen him since he stormed out there and told you to stay behind.

Seeing Raven beaten down makes you feel complete. It makes you feel like you got your revenge, even if it was by proxy.

You kneel down to his level. “It’s crazy that it ended up like this. You’ve lost everyone, huh? I may be the only person you have left.”

You may be right. Raven’s lost everything. He’s lost Beulah. He’s lost his little lackeys. They’re all gone. They want nothing to do with him.

He’s half the man he used to be.

And he can’t say you didn’t try. You really, really did. For his sake. You destroyed yourself everyday so he’d be happy.

You left Terry’s side for him. You’ve even messed Tommy up so he could win his matches. You’ve never EVER received a ‘thank you’. Nothing was ever given to you in return.

Either way, if he wouldn’t give you appreciation, you hoped that someone else would. There were other people in the nest you could talk to..

You used to talk to Beulah the most, as she would request for you specifically to curl her hair. In her words: “there’s no one else that can do it like you”. She’s always been incredibly sweet to you.

The moment she had aligned herself with Tommy Dreamer was when things got worse. Raven forbid you from ever talking to her again. Don’t look at her. Don’t even THINK of her.

She didn’t exist in your life anymore.

After that, you really didn’t have any friends outside of her. Luckily, you then found yourself finding comfort in none other than Stevie Richards.

It surprised you. He was so peppy and he always looked as bright as the sun. He’s someone you thought you’d get annoyed with, but in the end, you felt like you two had a lot more in common.

Whenever you and him found something even the slightest bit funny, the two of you would burst into giggles.

It was almost scary how abrupt your joy would come to an end when Raven walked into the room.

When he’d do that, sometimes he will stare at you two. If you were lucky, you’d get out of it without him berating you. You two feel like you’re walking on eggshells around him.

…You’ve come to the conclusion that Raven can’t stand happiness. It was probably because he’s never had any in life. Because he didn’t have it, none of you in the Nest could.

It made you feel bad for him. He’s had a strange upbringing, so you felt like if you left him, he’d fall apart.

Maybe that’s why he acts the way he does. You wish you could open his head and just take a look at his brain. You wonder what’s going on in there.

You could never figure it out, but then came Kimona Wanalaya. She came into the picture sooner than you thought. Almost out of nowhere. Raven definitely wanted a place to pin his sadness.

Obviously, she was the cushion. He was the pin. She was very quiet, a little bit snarky. You figured Raven probably played a part in her behavior.

She always wore the cutest clothes though, that you had to admit. Once you told her as much, Kimona had told you that you’re welcome to come through her closet anytime.

You thought about it. It’s a hard maybe. Thing is, you’ve actually started matching with Stevie on occasion. Just to see how it feels.

You had to cut some of your old denim jeans as short as you could possibly get them.

Not too much, of course. There’s more of a mystery when someone’s covered up, you think. Then again, you had to wear crop tops, so eh.

Hey, on the bright side, no wardrobe malfunctions!

It got a kick out of the crowd, seeing you jump around and be all hyper as you head towards the ring. Mimicking him was really fun.

Raven didn’t like it though. He didn’t like how close you two were getting at all. It was all his fault though, he’s pretty cold to the both of you. It’s inevitable that you two would start to get along.

He really thought you’d get jealous of Kimona. That’s why he brought her around in the first place, at least that’s what he was telling himself. Yet you’re too focused on Stevie to even pay him any mind.

He never said anything about it either. All he could do was lie in the bed he made.

It’s all his fault and there’s nothing he could do to fix it. He shouldn’t have let you two get confident enough to leave him. None of you had the guts to get anything done.

He was the hero. It wasn’t any of you that aligned himself with him. He was the hero at the end of this story, you guys were just pawns to be used along the way.

Raven’s the winner. He always has been and always will be.

But winners don’t writhe on the ground while bleeding. He’s still having a hard time stabilizing himself.

He raises up a hand and tries to hold onto you in an attempt to get any kind of leverage, but you scoot away. “Ew, stop. You’re gonna get blood on me..”

Just as you say that, he spits out a string of blood, murmuring something that you couldn’t hear. 

You don’t really care.

“I tried helping you, Raven. I really did. It may be a stretch, but I’m almost the only person that can stand being around you just a little bit. There's no one that'll ever treat you like I do."

It was halfway a lie. You were sure if you stood nearby him any other time, you’d either try to claw his eyes out or end up crying. You hope it ends up being the former.

“I bet everyone loves you.” He finally says something understandable, using his hand to try and wipe away blood that was masking his vision.

He doesn’t turn upward to face you, deciding to stare right into the space behind. “I can only begin to wonder how that felt. Being appreciated and wanted in society. To be respected, not feared…”

“Oh yes. People love me.” You confirm. “You love me too.”

“….I don’t.”

“You definitely do. Don’t kid yourself…” You’re looking straight at him. "Haven't your parents ever told you its not good to lie?"

Maybe he does love you. No, he doesn’t know what he feels around you. It’s not contempt and it’s not admiration either.

The moment he says something that directly confronts the problem is the moment that you’ve won. He doesn’t want to give you that satisfaction.

“I know for a fact you love me, because you don’t have anyone else that does.” You can’t fight the small smile on your face. “You know, people recognizing their self-worth and all that.”

You say it so casually. Raven’s clenching his fist. The audacity of it all. You’re not even helping him. You should be helping him back to his feet and whispering that everything would be okay.

Yet here you are. You’re making fun of him.

It’s something that neither of you would’ve expected. He fucking hates how it ended up being this way.

This isn’t fair. None of it is.

You feel like Raven’s hurt you for far too long. It’s his turn to get the short end of the stick.

Raven knew that it was inevitable he’d see you again, but not like this. This wasn’t the way he planned for things to go.

You must be a curse. Ruining everything one step at a time. Then again, it was partially his mothers fault as well.

Everything was crafted to be so meticulous. He would be there, then work his way back into your life and right inside of your head, just like old times. And if Stevie’s there, you’re sure to follow.

It’s not like things weren’t going to plan at first. He knew he would follow you to WCW once you left, that’s why he stopped asking.

As soon as you saw him in the crowd, you knew that you were in for a ton of shit. First, it’s Sting you had to deal with, now on top of that you had to deal with Raven?!

It only made you feel the slightest bit better to see Stevie frantically waving at you in the crowd as well. It made you a little upset seeing them together, mainly because he’s made so much progress with leaving Raven in the dust.

Unfortunately for Raven, the one damn time that his mother was backstage trying to get in was when it started to fall apart. You shouldn’t have been there!

And thus began the reckoning, as he would call it.

“Oh, that [Name] girl is so sweet! Why don’t you invite her over for dinner?” Raven’s mother would urge him to invite you over every chance she got. He definitely didn’t want you inside his house.

“No mom.” He’d always respond. “She can’t come over.”

"Why not, Scotty?"

Raven cringes. He hates when she calls him that. It’s not who he is anymore. "Because. I don't want her to.."

"Well, please reconsider." She says, laying the table cloth down onto the table. "What about your other friend, Chris Kanyon, wasn’t it?”

“I don't care.” He waves her off. “Why do you even want them to come anyway?”

“I just think they would be wonderful guests to have. I'm sure Chastity would enjoy the company as well."

If you came over, nothing would work. He doesn't exactly know how you'll react to him either.

You had stopped listening to him near the end of your tenure, which really pissed him off. You slowly started to realize that he can’t control you anymore. He shouldn't have in the first place. Before you left, you decided to make amends with ones that you've done wrong.

..With everyone except for him. Because you truly never did anything to hurt him. It's been him hurting you this entire time. And you just sat there and took it because you didn't know any better.

You feel like this was inevitable, just like a moth to a flame, you find yourself coming right back to Raven. Even after you’ve joined the NWO.

Really. Who could resist? It was an invite from his own mother! She completely ignored his request, holding onto the statement that some company would do him good.

You probably should’ve known that this would be a segment somehow, too..

His mother is right by your side with a smile. "I really hope you're enjoying the stay.”

“I am! You have a really beautiful home.” Seriously. It was huge. His parents must’ve been millionaires, if not billionaires. There’s no way this could really be Raven’s childhood home, could it?

You feel like everything is a lie. From his “terrible” upbringing, to the way he treated you and the others..

Did this mean he just did it because he could?! 

“I’m not sure where Scotty is. I think it’s so rude he won’t come and greet you. I’m sorry about that. It’s something he’s working on in his treatment.”

“Treatment, you say?” Oh, now you’re curious. 

“Oh, yes! He didn’t tell you?” Of course he didn’t. “He’s been seeing a doctor for his behavior as of late. It’s a slow process, but I miss my little boy…..”

You feel bad for her. You really did. Yet you want to tell her how bad her son has treated you and a few others, but you’re sure it’s not what she wants to hear right now. 

“Feel free to make yourself at home, [Name]. In the meantime, I can make you something to drink if you’d like?” His mother seemed very enthusiastic about you being here. “Wine? Maybe water?”

You shake your head. “No, I’m good, thank you.”

Chastity is too engrossed in her magazine to notice you in the room at first, but when her mother clears her throat, she looks up. 

Seeing it’s you, a smile grows on her face. “Hey, [Name].” She greets.

You knew Chastity was from ECW, but by the time she was there, you were already departed from the company. “Hi there, Chas.” You wave. “Anything new?”

She sets the magazine flat onto the table. “Hey. Yeah. Raven’s friend is getting on my nerves. He thinks I like him or something. I can't even begin to imagine why he comes over here in the—“

A creaking sound coming from the other room makes the three of you turn around. It's Kanyon, followed by a sluggish Raven coming down the steps.

Upon seeing your face, Raven's completely startled. "What the hell is she doing here? Mooom, I told you, I didn't want her to come over!"

Ouch, way to greet your guests..

His mother isn't pleased. The look of embarrassment spreads on her face like a wildfire. "Scotty! That's no way you should say hello.."

Raven doesn't respond, just shakes his head. What can he do about it now that you're here? Absolutely nothing, so he just staggers over to you. "Hey."

"Hi. Nice place you've got here."

He scoffs. You’re damn right it’s a nice place. It’s what he wants to say, but is only able to mutter out a: “Right. Whatever.”

“I mean, I didn't know you had such a big house.” You say. “Like wow.”

Raven scoffs. “It’s nothing. You always exaggerate stuff.”

You motion outside, ignoring his previous comment. “You even have a pool! I know my place is a bit spacious, but holy shit, I don’t even have a pool.”

...Something tells you he’s not happy to see you at all. He just walks past you and heads towards the couch. You really were surprised though. He'd go on and on about his rough upbringing, but you weren't exactly sure if you believed him or not now.

His mother huffs. “I’m sorry. He doesn’t seem to be in a good mood right now..” She expectantly looks at Kanyon, but he only shrugs at her.

Kanyon gives you a wave though. “Hey. You’re [Name], right? From ECW?”

“Yeah, yeah I am. And you are…?”

“Chris Kanyon.”

You don’t recognize him, yet you still hold out your hand for him to shake. “I see. Nice to meet you, then!”

“Raven talks about you a lot. You should see all the stuff he’s got in his room about..” Kanyon is just about to continue, but Raven immediately launches out of his seat to cut him off.

“Yo, Kanyon,” His voice sounded strained. “I wanted to show ya’ a thing in our backyard. You know. The thing I was talking about? C’mon, dude.”

“Wait, what thing?”

Raven’s already shoving the poor guy outside. You watch them leave in suspicion, then turn back around to his mother. She’s only waving the two off, telling them not to make much of a mess.

“Hey, can I use your bathroom?” You ask.

She nods. “Of course. Up the stairs to the right, sweetie.”

“Thanks.” You give her a nod, then turn away to head up the stairs. You didn’t actually have to use the bathroom, obviously. You just want to know what the heck Raven’s got in his room for him to cut Kanyon off like that.

He's bad at keeping secrets, that's for sure. Once you get up there, you try to be a little quiet as you slink the opposite way. You peek through one door and you're met with a decently sized room. It's nice. Neatly decorated, clean, and a ton of space. Holy shit, they really are rich!

This doesn't seem to be his room anyway. It may be his mother's. You don't see anything that would tick off the boxes that it could be his. He mentioned that he was a "rock guy", so you figure he'd have some type of memorabilia in his room.

You close it and move on. You wish you could compliment her on how nice it was, but you were supposed to be in the bathroom, not snooping around.

The next room that was down the hall seemed to be what you were looking for. Of course he had something on the door that said, "DO NOT ENTER". He's so corny.

Compared to the other room, this totally looked like his. It's a little more stuffy, but the decorations inside seem to make up for it. Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary, save for the posters displayed on his wall.

Again, you're not surprised. He would always proudly effuse that he was a huge rock fan. He even wore the shirts to back it up. Not to mention how annoying he would get when you two were in the car together. Whatever CDS he brought...was the shit that you had to listen to for the entire trip.

For some reason, you feel a little creepy invading his space like this, even feel like you’re a little rude for overstepping a boundary. 

Then again, he kinda deserved it. As bad as it sounded, he was just getting karma. You’re not exactly sure if therapy was going to help him enough. 

That man is broken and you’re not a construction worker. You can’t fix him.

You just head into his room and slowly close the door behind you, leaving it open juuust a little bit so that you can hear better. You’d just be in and out once you find what you were looking for. 

This would be a little hard. His room was a little more disorganized. You have to kneel down to move things around from the end of his bed. 

At first, it starts to look like you weren’t going to strike gold at all. But your hand brushes up against something hard under the pile of clothes you tried to sort out next.

There’s some sort of small storage bin poking out from the bottom of his bed. Really weird.

You shuffle more clothes around and pull it out. You seriously have to make this quick, because you knew the others would probably start to wonder why you're upstairs for so long. You pop the top open and what you find isn't what you would expect.

Why were there so many pictures of you in here?

Some candids, some cuttings from the WCW magazine..

What the fuck.

What the fuck is going on here.

You drop it quickly and it flutters back into the bin. It's just as you thought, he's as much as a problem as Sting, if not WORSE. You don't even think Sting's gone as far as getting photos of you, but goddamn.

Scarily enough, you feel flattered. You just want to hit yourself for even feeling that way. This is wrong. Very, very wrong.

It's definitely time to get the fuck out of dodge, before you can even explore why you aren't as alarmed as you should be. You close the top on the bin and shove it where it was, then throw some clothes over it.

You stand up from your spot and look at a desk that was nearby. There was some sort of collectible trading card set on there. You figure you'll take something, just because you can. Call it a gift to yourself, a collateral for your mental health.

The coast is clear, so you make your way out of his room and towards the steps. For a second you have to take a breath, holding onto the banister.

You start to think maybe you should go home. That would be the best decision. You head back down the stairs and walk over to the living room area. "Chastity," You call her and she looks up at you. "I'm gonna head out. I just remembered I had something to do. Can you tell your mother that I'm sorry?"

She looks at you in confusion. "You got here not too long ago. Are you okay??" The look on your face is a little too obvious. Plus, you didn't call her a nickname.

"I'm fine, really!" You exclaim louder than intended. "Seriously. Just a little on edge because I forgot something really important. I'll see you later?"

Chastity figures she wouldn't get anywhere else with you, so she gives a thumbs up and lets you go for now.

It's only when you head out the door, was when you started to feel a little bit sick. You don't know what happened, but you just feel like you don't want to see Raven for a while.

It's what he would have wanted anyways. You weren't welcome in his house.

You had no choice but to respect his wishes.

i keep trying to do things..but tumblr just wont let me be great?!?!?!?!

THIS IS NOT OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM..the bret fans get a double u next chapter i promise. desktop is literally acting up for me now, though i think it may just be THIS draft if that makes sense???

now we have two stalkers. reader just has more history with raven thats why she kinda likes this. sting's gonna slam dunk knock it out of the park this shit though trust me!

[beanghostprincess]

Wait do you also spam posts on the Zolu and Lusan tags as well? I haven't been on those so idk haha. And I know you said don't ask buuut why do you ship Lusan? 😅 I ship every other character together easily but I can't see the appeal between those two. Except for like post time skip. I'm trying to understand it.

mmm i wouldn't say i spam posts on those tags, but i do post a lot about them?? i think i just post more sanuso and zolu. more sanuso, probably. or maybe it's just that there are fewer people posting there and it makes my posts stand out more. we need more sanuso shippers, besties!!!

and you're asking me why i ship lusan but the true question here is why wouldn't i.

they're so romeo and juliet!!! so poetic!!! so love story by taylor swift!!!

it's not only because of whole cake island (that does help a lot, though) but their relationship dynamic and story as a whole. sanji grew up with a family that made him believe he was worthless and undeserving of love, and suddenly this silly guy appears out of nowhere saying that he wants him to come with him on an adventure because he believes he's the best cook ever (complimenting something his family constantly told him it was a weakness). he tells luffy about the all blue, opening up his heart and dreams to him in such a beautiful way that luffy can't help but say "yeah. this is the one. this is my cook now". they both share the same hopes and dreams!!!! reaching for the stars!!! fighting for their beliefs that everybody told them they wouldn't be able to follow!!! it's so so beautiful.

also, for luffy, food is something really important. not only referring to the comedic relief side of it, but also on a character level. food is what gives him strength, and it's also his love language (he's selfish when it comes to eating, but offers food to the ones he loves and cares about). and for sanji... well, food is his whole world. he won't let anyone starve, no matter who it is. it's the perfect dynamic. for luffy, food is important, not only bc he loves it, but because it's what makes him keep going (he literally needs to eat more than twice a normal person would because his power requires it). and for sanji that's!!! his perfect person!!!

whole cake island showing luffy refusing to eat until sanji comes back is so,,, i can't put it into words. but it's majestic. poetry. such a devotion to his cook it hurts. and sanji can't let him starve!!! it's so kzsdbjkasdbjkab i'm weak. crying. sobbing. luffy literally can't become the king of the pirates without him. he said it himself.

and also: luffy sees through sanji. we know luffy is like, the most empathetic character ever because he has this perception of people that's always so so accurate. he sees them as an open book. crystal clear. i mean, not really that crystal clear all the time but he knows when somebody is lying to themselves or him. and he knows that sanji is lying to himself in whole cake island the same way he's been aware of his insecurities ever since they met. and it's SO good.

the passion and devotion a cook and his constantly hungry captain have for each other is so intimate... luffy is curious by nature and wants to know more and more about the world and sanji. and sanji could just settle for cooking for him and finding the all blue, but luffy brings out that dreamy nature in him. luffy helps him ask for help and be himself.

sanji is selfless. luffy wants him to be selfish.

and it's!! so good!! so so romantic!!!

also don't get me started on luffy's speech to him because that's literally pride and prejudice mixed with romeo and juliet and a hint of corpse bride.

and yeah, you were talking about not getting the appeal pre time skip? well, let me tell you:

it might not be as romantic as post time skip, but it still is beautiful. sanji follows luffy to this adventure because he wants to find the all blue, but also because luffy has a dream even crazier than his. after being told countless times that his dream is a lie and impossible to achieve, seeing somebody as reckless and impulsive as luffy wanting something like being the king of the pirates does something to sanji. once again, as i was saying, luffy makes him want to be selfish. sanji doesn't want to leave the baratie because he feels like he owes zeff his life. that's his home, but also where his father and savior is. he wants to leave. he just doesn't know how to without feeling guilty. both luffy and zeff help him realize that he needs to go after his dream.

also, sanji's obsession with women goes beyond, you know, anything. but his devotion to luffy is stronger!! when you leave the comedic gags aside, of course.

besides, their dynamic is extremely funny. sanji is calm and mature and luffy is a menace to society. but... are they, really? because their dynamic is always funny like that, but also... it's kind of the other way around. luffy might seem immature and impulsive (he is) but when it comes to other people's feelings he's always the first one to understand. sanji, on the other hand, seems to have everything under control but once stuff like wci happens, we see that he's actually pretending to be like that. he's just a kid. he's scared and insecure and trauma suddenly hit him like a fucking truck without him expecting it and luffy is the one that needs to save him.

!!!!! lusan is GREAT. not only bc their "love cook x insatiable eater" dynamic, but because of their understanding and love for each other.

look, sanji is a damsel in distress and luffy is his knight in shining armor. except that they're actually a cook with an abusive family and an intense captain with a lot of love for food and his cook.

also they're very cutie patootie and they act very silly goofy together. i love when they're calm and laughing and nobody has to go through intense trauma for them to be happy in the end.

just look at them and tell me they aren't in love (although i see them more like in a queer platonic relationship but that's for another day):

that's sanji's ray of sunshine right there!!!!! and luffy's damaged wet cat!!!!! they're so!!!!! luffy can't be the king of the pirates without his cook and sanji can't find the all blue without his captain!!!

[omnipicureans]

# OMNIPURICEANS ━━━ private, roleplay blog for APONIA of HONKAI IMPACT 3RD; interpreted & loved by BARELY ( any pronouns & eighteen ); affiliated with GNOSTIC HYMNS.

NAVIGATION.

i. lawbook ━━━ includes mun information, blog rules, shipping availability, art credit, writing specifics, & more! ii. portrait ━━━ includes muse information, lore, support system, headcanons, & more! iii. abilities ━━━ necessary talents / stats page, as of the affiliated group's rule. iv. interview ━━━ the interview of the muse, better read on desktop instead of mobile. v. pinned post ━━━ notes on both the character's portrayal and interaction information, found below the cut of this post with the explained tags.

PORTRAYAL & INTERACTION NOTES.

within the crux of the elysian realm's chapters, APONIA is said to have committed suicide by sacrificing herself wholly to merge with the realm; hence, her later death when the elysian realm is destroyed in the final battle. since her simulation, too, has been deleted by the herrscher of corruption, aponia is hardly more than a remnant of what she once was. now, the issue of context.

in the theory of her giving the whole of herself to augment the elysian realm, i am taking the liberty of implying that being brought back by elysia to fight in the final battle with the other flamechasers allowed a fragment of her real body to exist outside the augmentation. thus, this aponia is ONLY HER SIMULATION, boosted by the quarter fragment of her real body; hence, the recreation of a more fragile, unstable elysian realm ( as she cannot exist without or outside of it, because of how wholly she sacrificed herself into its being ) .

to bind the flexibility of this, in the hopes of benefiting her place in gnostic hymns, meager lines of aponia’s code have been scattered across worlds to supplement a larger foundation of the elysian realm’s stability. with this, DIVISIONS OF APONIA'S SIMULATION ARE ALLOWED TO APPEAR OUTSIDE OF THE REALM, though they are weaker than the original and are bound to only remember the memories they make within that specific world, not including whatever memories they may already hold. ( for example, if your muse makes friends with the aponia in teyvat and travels to jarilo - vi, the aponia of that world will not recognize them, nor remember being their friend. )

in a similar light, aponia's DISCIPLINE and HEAVEN'S EYE are very significant to her character and thus, are usually difficult to avoid the usage or discussions of, even if done subtly. here's two quick(?) explanations of each;

aponia cannot control her HEAVEN'S EYE, as the threads of fate are always visible to her from where they sprout on people's foreheads. she describes these threads as silk, which break off once out of her peripheral; a limit she doesn't have when seeing the future in glimpses. of course, i will not assume anything of your muse in these cases, since i'd like to play around with that power narratively in more introspective threads. otherwise, it will be up to us whether or not it's fair to imply that she'll become somewhat aware of both your muses' past and distant future upon their first or second meeting.

however, with her DISCIPLINE, that power is more interactive. by default, even without it, aponia is a convincing soul, usually hardly refused; paired with discipline, she is never refuted nor refused, even if the person is aware of what's being done to them. as you can tell, this is beyond godmoding at its core. so, this boundary will only be crossed to make a thread or interaction crazier. to utilize discipline, all aponia must say is please, though i will italicize and adorn the word with brackets so it's clear when she does and doesn't compel it. similarly, discipline isn't simply mind control; it's the process of introducing an order unto another, the manner in which they abide by it depends on their wish. don't worry, it's complicated and can be further discussed later.

CONTENT WARNINGS for this blog, as introduced in the interview, are discussions, mentions, and examples of, but not limited to, child death, mass murder, canon - typical violence, suicide, misunderstood & heavy survivor’s guilt, dehumanization of self, heavy existential - questioning concepts, abstract & concrete religious themes, and morally skewed ideations & thoughts of a religious "prophet".

TAGS EXPLAINED.

: ̗̀ ʚїɞ :: ❝ 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐃 𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐇 ・ / in character . ( all posts that are "in character", hence the tag )

: ̗̀ ʚїɞ :: ❝ 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘 - 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 . 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐃 ・ / out of character . ( all posts that are "out of character", ex. shitposts, maintenance, meta, etc )

: ̗̀ ʚїɞ :: ❝ 𝐄𝐍𝐕𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍'𝐒 𝐎𝐌𝐍𝐈𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 ・ / gallery . ( reblogged art, including possible art by the mun, of the muse )

: ̗̀ ʚїɞ :: ❝ 𝐓𝐎 𝐄𝐗𝐈𝐒𝐓 𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐑𝐄𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐓 ; 𝐓𝐎 𝐑𝐄𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐓 𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐈𝐍 ・ / headcanons . ( posts centered around a muse's headcanons, meta, etc )

: ̗̀ ʚїɞ :: ❝ 𝐆𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐒 𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐆𝐎𝐃'𝐒 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 ・ / prompts . ( all reblogged posts with prompts, ask memes, sentence starters and the likes )

: ̗̀ ʚїɞ :: ❝ 𝐒𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐋𝐔𝐗𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐑𝐀 ・ / inbox . ( all posts that are replies to an ask, excluding threads made from certain asks )

: ̗̀ ʚїɞ :: ❝ 𝐀 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 ・ / thread name . ( the threads tag )

[i-d-e-g-a-f]

“demonized her by putting her in a relationship” and “being harassed for existing” yall are one to talk every kataang post i see on EVERY platform y’all are lurking saying “kataang sucks” and telling ppl to kll themselves over the ship. also demonizing her is ironic bc if she ended up with zuko it would’ve just ruined everything she went through and worked for so stay mad fucking freak 💀💀

1. Get the quote right, I said “disservices her by putting her in that relationship.” which is very different from whatever you said.

2. I can’t argue against anecdotal evidence or your experience but I can say in my experience, I’ve always seen people shit on zutara unprovoked and try to justify it with their performative activism or try to act as if it’s okay to make assumptions about someone’s character because of an unproblematic fictional ship. Also I don’t cross tag so if anything is ironic, it’s that you’re lurking in our tags when you just criticized zutara shippers for doing so.

3. Once again I said disservice not demonize, massively different. But for arguments sake tell me what did she gain from being in a relationship with Aang? Did that relationship not ruin everything she worked for? Because the Katara in ATLA was passionate and never stood on the sidelines when she saw injustice. But the Katara we see in the comics and LoK is passive and constantly sidelined to being the Avatar’s wife or mother of the Avatar’s children. Not her own person. She doesn’t even have a statue when everyone else in the gaang does. In season 1 Katara literally protests for the right to learn how to fight and in LoK we see none of the passion. What is exactly so fulfilling about her relationship with Aang? Was it him being an attentive father to their children? Oh, no that wasn’t it. So tell me, would being with Zuko really ruin everything she’s worked for, because it seems like being with Aang already ruins that quite successfully. Katara basically becomes an accessory to Aang which, yes, I would say disservices her! Especially when we’re shown that she is capable of having relationships with people based on mutual respect, compassion, and mutual emotional support. Relationships where they are equals and one is not an accessory to the other. Relationships where they respect each other boundaries and don’t act entitled to another’s affection.

But you know what’s even crazier is that at the end of the day none of that even matters because that is just what I prefer and you don’t have to agree! My problem lies within the fact that I constantly see anti zk’s assert that zutara is an inherently problematic ship or that people who enjoy the ship are problematic or are just hysterical women. Those assumptions are problematic and unfounded and if anything perpetuate misogynistic stereotypes about women being not knowing which man is actually good for them. It also requires an incredible amount of cognitive dissonance to arrive at those conclusions because the people who argue that Zutara shippers only like Zutara because they want a bad boy will talk about how Zuko has a great redemption arc in the same breath. We truly cannot have watched the same show, watched Zuko say “Hello, Zuko here” if they think the appeal of Zutara is that Zuko is a “bad boy.” However, even if it was, that still wouldn’t justify the constant negative assumptions made about the people who enjoy the ship, or the way those generalizations about zutara shippers are used as a way to delegitimize zutara (ad hominem fallacy). I fucking hate kataang and I am open and honest about that, but I don’t go around saying the actual people who ship kataang are problematic or are all secretly incels because that is a ridiculous and unfounded generalization. I hate kataang so I will critique kataang, not try to discredit its shippers in an attempt to make the ship seem less legitimate. I cannot say I’ve seen anti zks and the general fan base behave similarly.

I can’t speak for the anti kataangers in kataang tags because fun fact i have it blocked because i don’t like it! But I will say, although i do not condone going into other ships tags to instigate, there a massive difference between shitting on a ship versus shitting on the people who enjoy a ship. And mind you, I noticed the pattern of people shitting on zutara fans long before i even became a zutara fan. This is a trend amongst this general fan base that flares up anytime new atla content is released and I was venting about it on my page as someone who is tired of it. It is my god given right to vent about a fictional couple I don’t like on my page and to vent about the fandom discourse trends I notice. If you notice different ones and want to vent about make your own goddamn post, don’t act like a coward and send anon hate just because you disagree with me. I have my opinion and you’re entitled to yours. You have your own experiences with this fan base and I have mine. If your upset, vent about it on your own goddamn page instead of accosting me with your dumbassery.

[shannygoatgruff]

Only Fan(s) - A Thriller

Genre: Thriller

Pairing: Modern Ivar/OC

Warning: Language, sex, stalking, obsession, kidnapping, sexual assault

Rating: MA+18

Summary: Sometimes OnlyFans subscribers want a little more than internet pictures. Sometimes they want to be your ONLY fan…

Header by: @flowers-in-your-hayr

Thanks to @xbellaxcarolinax for being my beta.

Disclaimer: This story will deal with some topics that might be a little uncomfortable for some people. As always, I’ll try to tackle the hard stuff as tactfully as possible.

a/n: I know it’s been a minute. I’m always thinking about these stories because I want to finish them, just can’t seem to focus on writing at the moment.  Anyway, hope you enjoy.

Part iv - Date with Destiny

Finding Ivar Lothbrok should have been easy. Between the two of them, he was the stable one. He was the one with the iron-clad schedule that consisted of drinking, smoking, and partying. Torren’s schedule was a bit more... fluid. She tended to go wherever the wind, or whatever car she acquired, would take her. Naturally, Ivar had the occasional meet-and-greet, red carpet, and/or Comic-con engagement that he had to attend, still, he was pretty easy to keep tabs on. All one had to do was look at (stalk) his social media accounts, and his whereabouts were posted for everyone to see.

Knowing where he’d be and finding out where he lived were a different story. Torren had done her due diligence when it came to locating the town in which Little Kattegat was located. It only took about two days and a few Google image searches of the background of a few of the photos and she had it narrowed down to a general area in the Sierra Nevada Mountains.

From what she could tell, the closest town to where he lived was pretty small, and there were only a few large estates hidden in the woods. How hard could it be to find? She was willing to drive to every single house and knock on the door to find him if she had to. But it would just be easier if there was loud music and a bunch of cars in the driveway. That way she could tag along inside with the rest of the guests to get to her man. 

Her shirt landed in the pile of dirty clothes in the center of the bed, as she reached around to unhook her bra. “I really need to tell Baby Boo to stop putting all of his business out in these streets,” her brows furrowed as she shook her head, “What if some crazy, psycho bitch started stalking him, or some shit? Then I’d have to kill a bitch.” Torren’s head whipped around and she narrowed her eyes at his picture, still stuck on her wall, “Is that what you want? Huh? You want me to cut a bitch to prove to you how much I love you? I will, Bae! You know I would do anything for you. I’m your Ride or Die...” 

And being his Ride or Die meant that she needed to keep better tabs on him if she was going to protect him from someone crazier than her, God forbid.  She was only able to do so much on this prepaid phone, and going to the library to get online was becoming a pain in the ass. 

She’d considered stealing a laptop or iPad from the library but was still on the fence about the idea. Of course, the alternative meant going to stupid ass libraries and threatening little kids to get off the fucking computers, and that completely sucked ass. 

She always felt rushed when she logged onto her Bae’s Only Fans page from the public library. Without fail one of those little bastard kids would get the library Nazis to kick her off the computer, or bar her from the library altogether for watching porn. 

Ivar’s page wasn’t porn! It was art. It was sexy. It was love...his love for her. Stupid bitches. 

She had encountered far worse things than getting kicked out of the library, but some of these small towns usually only had one or two within their county limits. If she got banned, how was she supposed to check up on Ivar? In the time it took to log in until she got kicked out, she'd be lucky if she could check 2 of his accounts. What if he had some important information on another platform that she hadn’t checked yet? What was she supposed to do then?

Her relationship with Ivar was hanging in the balance, and she'd be damned if some snot-nosed kid or fucking uptight librarian would fuck that up. She needed a computer. But, on the flip side, when she finally got her man back, she wouldn't need one anymore. She could ask him directly what their plans were.

There was a lot to consider and that took time; time that she didn't have right now.

The thick layer of Nair shaving cream she had applied to her already hairless crotch, was just starting to tingle, signaling she had about 5 minutes left before the sweat-inducing, burning sensation would kick in alerting her to wash the cream off. Until then, she had time to consider an outfit for the night.

She knew Ivar well enough to know that he would want her to be sexy for him, but not so much to distract him from work. She could have gone for something slutty, like those skanky bitches he partied with. She could have gone for more demur, but then she would remind him too much of his bitch ex-wife and completely turn him off. The last thing she wanted on their first night back together was for him to be thinking about that bitch. She could have gone for a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt, but Torren never did simple. 

No, Ivar would want her to be herself. That's what he loved about her. That's what attracted him to her in the first place. She would be sexy without being skanky; she would be demure without being a prude.

Fuck! It was already 7:33 p.m. How in the hell did she miss the beginning of his Live? Now she was running late.

She was supposed to be dressed and ready by the time his Live came on that way she could be out the door as soon as he finished. If she was going to make it to be on his Only Fans live stream tonight, she needed to get to his house before he got too distracted. Now, she’d have to watch his Live, while her cooch burst into flames before she had a chance to take a shower and finish picking out her outfit.

If there was one thing Torren was, it was punctual. It was bad enough that she was about 40 minutes outside of his town, but it could take her up to 2 or more hours to find his house. She only hoped that he didn’t plan on starting any real freaky shit on his Only Fans page until around midnight, cause it looked like she wouldn’t be getting there before then, anyway.  

With the smile still plastered on her face, Torren turned on the hot water for a shower, forgetting that the water didn’t get hot. She didn't mind, much, especially since the cold water gave her a break from the heat in her room. 

Phone in hand, she watched him, as she planted herself on the dirty bathtub floor, cross-legged, and started to get herself ready. Starting with her toes, she shaved each one, just below the knuckle, followed by her fingers, arms, pits, and each leg, from groin to ankle, three times. When the burning from her nether regions was so intense that she couldn’t tell her tears from the shower water dripping on her face, she quickly washed off the cream. 

All she could do was hope that she hadn’t broken the skin this time. The last time she had let that damn Nair stay on, just past burning, the skin broke and she bled. She was not having a bloody hoo-ha tonight. 

With that taken care of, she gently used the razor to remove any other pubes closer to the inside that needed to be removed. Then shaved her backside. When she had more time, she was going to get the internal hairs bleached, but she needed to find out what Ivar preferred. 

Shaving ate up so much of her time that she only had a few seconds to rub some body-wash that she had stolen from a drug store over her body and hoped it got rid of the smell of the summer heat. Her hair? Fuck it...she’d wash it another day, for now, this cold water would have to be enough. She’d spritz some perfume and hair spray in it and it would smell fine. 

Torren finished her shower, and walked out of the bathroom dripping wet, only using a towel to wrap around her hair. She was glad it was so hot in her room that her hair would air-dry quickly. She finger-combed her damp tresses to complete that ‘just got out of bed, but it's styled’ appearance. She knew how much he loved when her hair looked like that. It would remind him of freshly fucked hair. 

She spent extra time applying her makeup, even using an extra dark, thick application of eyeliner. She usually went for more subtle warm colors. They matched her tan skin tone better. But, tonight, she had bold, dark makeup, complete with varying shades of purple and blue eye shadows, and dark purple lipstick.

Torren was glad that she decided to match Ivar’s clothes this evening. The swim trunks and smoking jacket he wore would compliment her beautifully. She wanted everyone to know that they dressed alike, the way real couples do. If he was going for less is more, so would she.

She settled on black leather chaps that tied up on the sides, and tight blue boy shorts that left the bottom half of her ass cheeks exposed. The blue shorts brought out the blue swirls in his trunks; she knew he'd appreciate that touch. Her top was a blue bandanna that she wore as a halter with a short black leather jacket with tassels on the sleeves. 

They screamed “couple” in her eyes.

Completely satisfied with how she looked, Torren locked the door to her motel room and started down the hall. She deliberately stopped by the window and peered through the partially opened blinds of the people staying next door to her. She knocked on the window to get the attention of the young couple inside. Judging from their appearance, they were too strung out to know who she was, or that it was her music that they constantly banged on the wall about. She didn’t care. She still flipped them off before making her way to the stairs. 

Reaching her hand through the busted window of the blue Ford Taurus to unlock the door from the inside. Torren slid into the driver's seat and leaned over to find the two cords that she had pulled out from under the steering column when she stole the car. Flicking the cords together, she listened as the engine reluctantly turned over.

She put the car in reverse, looked in the rear-view mirror at her makeup, then pulled out of the spot. As she turned onto the road leading to the highway, she listened to the knocks, bumps, and hisses that her car made. There wasn't time to do much about it now; not when she was on her way to get her man. But, she made a mental note to do something about it later in the week. The only thing she could do was turn the music up louder to drown out the car noise.

Truthfully, she should have stolen a better car than the piece of shit Taurus that she found in the parking lot of the Quickie Mart while driving through Tulsa, Oklahoma. There were plenty of better cars there to choose from but no one would have wanted to take this one. It was so sad looking that she took pity on it. She had been doing the owner of this crap car a favor, by taking it off of their hands. 

The car was truly fucked. The oil light stayed on, and it drank gas like her mother drank liquor. The car had protested every inch of the ride across the three states that she traveled through in one day. She knew that it would only be a matter of time before that piece of shit breathed its last breath.

She needed to get gas again, but fuck that car. She had already refueled four times since she stole it. Gas wasn't cheap and she wasn't putting another dime in that gas guzzler. Speaking of money, she made a mental note to steal another credit card. It would only be a matter of time before the owner of the one that was tucked snugly between her left breast and strapless bra, would eventually realize that it had been lifted from the table in the diner, and canceled.

Laptop, butt bleaching, car, credit card, and more eyeliner from Walgreen's…her To-Do list was growing. She really needed to take some time off and take care of the necessities. Not tonight, though. She had other things to do. She couldn't do anything else, right now, but get to her man. Besides, once Lothbrok was by her side, he would help her remember all the things she needed to do.

As she came off of the highway exit smoke started billowing out from the engine. It backed up through the exhaust system, and came through the vents, inside the cabin. It was ironic – the air-conditioning vents in the car didn't work, but they seemed to work well enough to clog the inside of the car up with thick white smoke. She drove a few more miles before the smoke was so thick that she could no longer see. As she pulled the car over to the graveled shoulder of the road, the car knocked and shook, before it finally cut off.

Just her fucking luck.

She reached under the dash to flick the cords against each other again, trying to force the ignition to catch again, but it wouldn't. The engine had nothing left to give her. "Fuck Murphy and fuck his fucking law," she said calmly as she pulled the hood release.

She opened the car door, taking care to place both black, platform boots on the ground before lifting her backside from the seat. Placing her sunglasses on her eyes, she walked with one foot in front of the other to the front of the Taurus and placed her hand on the hood. It was hot, but not so hot that she couldn't feel under the front of the lever.

As she lifted the heavy metal hood and placed the rod in the slot to hold it in place, Torren let the smoke from the engine engulf her. It was quite a head rush breathing in the thick engine smoke through her nose, and exhaling it from her mouth. She patiently waited for the smoke to thin out before she bent, at the waist, over the engine. She didn't know what she was looking for, but she knew that someone would see her looking over the engine and stop to help her.

Now, if only someone would actually come down this dark stretch of road, she could be back on her way to Ivar.

It didn't take long before a pair of headlights rounded the bend of the road, just off to her right. Shifting her weight from one foot to the other, she accentuated the leather, chaps against her hips, and lifted her ass higher in the air, to catch the driver's attention. She couldn't help but smirk when she heard the tires of a large vehicle turn onto the graveled pavement in front of where she broke down. She didn't turn to face the car or the driver. She didn't care who they were or what they looked like. She had an appointment to keep and this pit stop was fucking up her timetable.

"You need some help?" A deep voice asked as its owner approached her.

Torren took a moment to peer around the hood, noticing that there were no other cars around. "Broke down," she answered, continuing to bear her weight from one hip to the other. She placed her hands on the metal frame of the car, arched her back, and looked at the man over her shoulder. "You know something about cars?"

"Yeah," he replied, moving around to her side, looking at her, and not the smoky engine.

She gave him half a smile, as she noticed him notice her. "You a mechanic or something?" She asked standing up. She rubbed her hands together to remove some of the visible engine soot while considering the guy in front of her. He was about 6 feet tall with a moderate build. He was dressed in blue jeans, a black t-shirt, and Timberland boots. He didn't look like he was more than 25 years old. Judging from the way he was looking at her and from the ring on his left hand, he wasn't too worried about her car, or his wife, for that matter.

"Nah, not a mechanic, but I work on my own car... in my spare time." He smiled when she did. She was gorgeous, in that slutty kind of way. She wouldn't be dressed like that and leaning over the hood of a car if she wasn't looking to have some fun. "Lemme take a look at it."

Did he work on his car? Hopefully, that meant that his ran better than hers did.

Torren moved over to the side and let him take the position under the hood. "I'll be right back," he explained before walking over to the bed of his F150.

Grabbing a flashlight from the trunk, he took a second to admire the view of her, from behind. If he could get her car moving again, she would hopefully follow him to this cheap motel he knew that was just up the highway.

He leaned in close, taking a whiff of her hair, "You overheated…want to check the coolant level."

She had heard him say something else but she had stopped listening; she was too busy watching the street. "You want me to try to start it?" she asked, removing her sunglasses before making her way to the driver's door. She wasn't sure if he answered or not. She had no intention of driving the Taurus again, even if he could get it started. She just needed to get something out of the car.

She slid into the seat and reached down on the floor. She found the hard metal object on the floor of the passenger's side and gripped it tightly. As she walked back around to the front of the car, she heard him talking, presumably about the car, or maybe he was asking her out. Who the fuck knows? She was on a tight schedule and all of his chatting was holding her up. She stood by the side of the hood, looking at the angle he was leaning over the hood. Quickly, she lifted her arm, and with one powerful blow, she struck him in the head with the crowbar that she used to procure her now-defunct car.

Torren stood over his body, looking at him intensely. God, it felt good. The rush of knowing that one minute this dude was towering over her, and the next he was on the ground. She had dropped his ass. She was the one with the power.

 "Thanks," she said, digging her hand in his pocket to retrieve his cash, credit card, and the keys to his truck. She wiped the blood on the crowbar on his shirt before walking to her new mode of transportation.

Torren sat in the truck's driver's seat and turned on the engine. She had managed to cross two things off of her To-Do list without even planning to.

Thank God the truck had air conditioning. All this heat and humidity was bound to make her hair frizzy. She cranked the AC up as high as it would go and sat still for a moment enjoying the cool air. After a minute, she adjusted the seat and tilted the rearview mirror to look at herself. She was starting to sweat and her eyeliner was starting to run just a bit at the corners of her eyes. She dabbed at the black liner to even out the lines, and then pushed the mirror back to where she could see. Giving the area another once-over, she made sure that no one else had seen her interaction with that guy on the ground, before pulling out from the gravel and onto the paved street.

"Ugh!" Torren yelled. Chester Bradley, the printed name on the credit card, had shitty taste in music. She pushed the stereo button on the steering wheel to do a scan of the radio. Anything was better than country music. Once she found some trap music on the XM radio, she turned up the volume and pulled back onto the highway.

Part iii/

Tags: @ideagarden-blog1  @youbloodymadgenius @xbellaxcarolinax @a-mess-of-fandoms @didiintheblog @conaionaru @peachyboneless @flowers-in-your-hayr @heavenly1927 @zuxiezendler @waiting4inspiration @saldelys @revolution-starter​

[smilingperformer]

Discussing the good and bad of Pokémon Journeys: Part “Goh”

Oh boi... this part is gonna be a doozy. Because I have a lot to talk about Goh, or as I tend to call him, Gou.

TLDR; I like Gou as a character but I very, very much have issues with the way he's currently written in the show. And that frustrates me deeply as I'd love to feel more positively about him. More under the cut, with Journeys abverted as JN.

Where do I even begin... Maybe by how I first became a fan of Gou's character, by after some time started to go back to neutral ground.

Like, ever since the very first episode, we've got a very clear picture of what kind of character Gou is: a bookworm, loves Pokémon, loves to show his knowledge and isn't exactly good at making friends. His only friend before Satoshi (and before learning about Tokio/Horace's reasonings for not showing up to their meeting place) was Chloe/Koharu, and we still don't know how the two met. Thou my guess is that their childhood friendship bonded over their parents meeting during some job or by Koharu feeling the need to be Gou's friend. Who knows, it's something I want to learn about. But that's besides the point, cough.

But like, from the very first episode on, it became clear that this show wants to focus on Gou, and telling his journey on becoming a Pokémon Trainer who wants to catch all of the Pokémon in the World, in order to get closer to catching Mew, the mythical Pokémon who's said to contain DNA of all existing Pokémon. He had a very strong introduction arc, with showing his dynamic with Koharu, having him meet Satoshi on top of Lugia, first getting to know Satoshi (and Rockets) and then catching his first partner Pokémon in Hibunny. However, as time went on and episodes started piling up, I started feeling like something about him was... off.

I feel like the first time I had an issue with the writing involving him was in JN006, where he went on his first catching spree. Where he kept catching Pokémon with ease. Small struggle at the start when trying to work together his dynamic with Hibunny, but the rest of the ep felt way too easy. Then again, Gou IS flat out Pokémon GO promotion. No one can deny that. His purpose is to promote GO's capture mechanic. It is the most successful Pokémon Mobile game of all time.

Anyway, the easy captures piled up on and on til JN010 when he finally had to use dozens of pokeballs to catch one. single. Dewgong. I loved this so much. It made me feel more at ease with his goal mechanic and I felt like I'd be fine with him from there on out. And I was. Til I started having new issues with him. All thanks to Satoshi's new goal in PWC finally having been established.

As time went on, it became clearer and clearer, that Gou was more focused on when it came to his goal progression, development in character level, and in what kind of quality his episodes would be.

Everyone knows how much I love JN032. Everyone does. It's one of my absolute fav episodes in the series. However, it also kinda is what first prompted me starting my worry that hasn't gone away since then: That Gou feels more like the protagonist than Satoshi does in this series, and not really an equal dual protag he was advertised to be.

Before the pitchforks are getting aimed at me, hear me out. I know, that based on some statistics, the focus is equal, with sliiiightly more inclinded towards Gou. However, that's where the issue is: Gou has, so far for me, had way better focus and way better episodes in this series, than Satoshi has, while also getting progress on his goal on other character's focus episodes. When Satoshi's episodes have been about PWC and training his Pokémon, Gou's had the kind of episodes that are more character exploring, developing him, evolving him in some way. And it, frustrates me. Because despite my better judgement, it gives me this feeling that Gou is stealing Satoshi's thunder, even when some type of statistics would suggest otherwise. It gives me this feeling that Gou is here to write Satoshi out. I do not like that I feel this way, I don't know how to get rid of this feeling and I hate it here.

Again, I like Gou's character, he's sweet, well developed, and I do enjoy seeing him in his own episodes. But I have come to noticed, than whenever he gets goal progression in an episode that's supposed to focus on Koharu or Satoshi, I feel so.... angry? And I've never, ever felt like this while watching other characters progress. And I know it's irrational.

Like, his main partner's already fully evolved, his secondary partner Sobble is already evolving soon despite only having one focus episode for itself before it, and he's caught all three of the Galar starters now, with some of his other not-that-important Pokémon making appearances every now and then with possible evolution showcases. And it's all done so fast. Same issue was with Satoshi's poketeam evolving in fast arcs, but I forgot to mention about it? But then again, I am somewhat fine with it as I get the writing style is to focus on one 'mon and then move on to another. Which is not to my taste completely but I digress. ANYWAY, back to Gou.

After seeing discussions and joining in on some on tumblr and twitter and elsewhere, it does appear that Gou's development speed and progression speed is incredibly fast. Like, seriously fast. He's caught a lot of Pokémon by now, and the show's already shown about 50% percent of all existing Pokémon in a bit over a year. About 30% being caught by Gou. (Statistics borrowed from EntityMays' Living Dex trackers, links in posts will disrupt showing in tag search so, google EntityMays's Living Dex, and you'll find the statistics there).

This is also very apparent when you think about how fast Gou suddenly became a good battler, when at the beginning he sucked. A lot. I get Satoshi could be a great example on learning how to battle with good strategy in mind, but we barely saw Gou struggle. We Satoshi struggle in OS, so I would have prefered more struggling by Gou. His first battle against a legendary ended up in Zapdos almost getting caught and uuuuuggh, while it's a pretty good episode it really should have been at later point, same with Suicune episode. Thou with the latter I have WAY more issues than just the placement but, I'm not gonna rant about that today.

And what should I say about his dynamics with other characters... They're good, I am a huge fan of how the dynamic between Koharu and Gou works, as their childhood friend dynamic is shown so, so well, and you can just tell the two have mutual respect as Gou gives Koharu the space she needed when she wasn't into Pokémon for a while, and when she then became partners with Eevee, Gou was so so SO darn supportive just, AGH. Love how these two work.

And everyone knows I fell for Gou x Tokio dynamic straight away. Like they had a friendship built up right away when they first met as little kids and Tokio missing out on their promised meeting due to being sick and not having any means of contacting him yes still considered Gou his friend after these years when Gou considered him a traitor of trust and Gou then forgives him for it and just aaaaaahhh-. KRHM. Excuse me.

Then there's Gou and Satoshi's dynamic and I already said in my post about Satoshi how I feel intimidated by the fans of their shipping and how it makes me feel.... kinda sad about not being able to like their dynamic for what it is. I LOVE it a ton. I have said it a countless times, they're a broTP to me. They're dynamic was very enjoyable for me to watch, and even Gou was. But like, on TOP of these issues I mentioned before this part, I also have another issue with Gou: his fanbase, or the crazier part of it.

Often times I feel like I'm unable to enjoy Gou's character without being reminded of the fans who constantly think of him as shipping fuel, or think he's flawless and anyone disagreering is in some form a negative trait filled human being, etc etc etc. In a way, I feel like I'd enjoy Gou and his dynamic with Satoshi way, way more, if I had never learned about this side of the fandom. Let people like their dynamic the way they want. Be it romantic or platonic. Neither is wrong, but pushing one side to push their own headcanon to other people's head is just, bad act. Having this feeling in me has actually made me wonder, whether I would have liked other characters I am such a huge fan of, if I had been watching their shows during their airing times (for example Serena).

Now what would I have done differently with Gou? Firstly, slow the fuck down. I would have prefered to see Hibunny way more. I would have prefered to have one Galar Starter, namely Grookey, go to Satoshi, as it would help me feel less like Gou's stealing his thunder. I would have prefered if Gou and Satoshi's goals were established around same time. I would have very much liked it, if Gou wouldn't be catching Pokémon each episode.

Now what COULD help me like him better from what we have by now? Well. Slow it down. Have him interact with Koharu more. Give him a rival to further make him shine on his own instead of seemingly relying on Satoshi to shine through. Hell, maybe make Tokio his friendly rival. And on top of that, please let him not catch Pokémon almost every single episode. I'd love an episode where he captures some Pokémon that prefers to be free, and he then would let it go. I think that would make his character be good on his own, and make me feel better about him once again.

Cough. I think I've got my point clear. As said, I like Gou, but very much dislike the way he's written in such fast pacing and in a way that, despite statistics stating otherwise, making him feel like he's the sole protag and not sharing spotlight as dual protag. And I hope to god I can get rid of this feeling as the series goes on. Because right now, I don't have high hopes :(

If you've read this far, thank you for reading, and I am so, so sorry this became a long long rant about the issues I have with Gou, but I hope I managed to bring out what I like about him as well. Hopefully next time's gonna be a more positive post, as I'll try writing about my full on feelings about the handling of Koharu, or as dub audience knows her, Chloe.

Once again, thanks for reading, have a good evening or morning or whatever time it is by the time you've read this, and I hope you'll have a fantastic time ♥ And as a reminder, these are just my opinions, and if you disagree, you are totally valid.

Til next time! This was Smiling Performer aka Aleira, signing out!

[isabellehemlock]

Fanfic Ask Game

Thank you to the ethereal @disregardandfelicity for tagging me in this lovely fanfic ask game 🤗

I actually had done a similar one to this about ten weeks ago, but let’s see if any of the answers changed 😎

Now who to tag?? Hmmm

@tobebbanburg @kiaya (now that she's back!!) @mekana47 @fitzcamebacktome (no pressure though of course)

How many works do you have on AO3?

37 (with 6 being fanart)

How many fandoms have you written for (and what are they)?

The majority are for The Old Guard - and a few are for Luca Marinelli Multiverse Character crossover au’s. 

Are there any new fandoms you want to write for?

Well I’m outlining a prequel for The Witcher featuring Calanthe and Eist :)

What are your top five fics by kudos?

Endless Ocean (TOG Modern AU)

Cleanse (TOG Post Canon)

Catch Me If I Fall (TOG Omegaverse AU)

The Bet (TOG Pre Canon)

The Purpose of Art (TOG Modern AU)

Which of your fics do you want more attention for?

They’ve had enough attention, it’s fine lol.  I mean I do love kudos and comments, and I do hope something that brought me joy, brings joy to someone else, but I don’t know if I think any works need “attention.”  I suppose if the question is meant more like, “Which of your fics do you hope people notice?” - I’d say, “Any that helps brings joy to someone’s day, or helps them process something.”

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I love commentary, I love to talk - words of affirmation is my love language <3 - and am always so grateful when someone has gone out of their way to let me know they enjoyed my fic/art (and seriously I’ve had a full range of commentary from like emotes to quotes copied back to me and everything in between and I treasure each one!  I even keep some saved on my phone).  I tend to reply back within twenty four hours, but sometimes it can take me up to a week and a half if I have a pretty full inbox (which hey, that’s a good kind of “problem” to have lol).  Right now I have thirteen I’m hoping to respond to by morning :)  

What sorts of things do you normally write?

I’ve been told I write two extremes - either fluffy or angsty lol.  And it’s enough of a pattern where I seem to trade off between the two between each work.  I’d probably say the tropes or themes that keep reappearing is simply down to discovering how someone feels loved (whether that’s romantic or platonic), and communicating that to strengthen the relationship, and lots and lots of healing and feelings.  So yeah, sometimes that’s adorable and fluffy, sometimes that’s angsty 🙈

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I think it depends on your definition of angst?  Because I would say “none,” but then I do have a few that are probably close: The Necklace (TOG pre canon), An Interrupted Oath (TOG pre canon), and Memento Mori (TOG pre canon) - can’t really say too much without it becoming spoilery, but essentially . . . sad, sadder (because the reunion is off screen), and third is a cliffhanger 👀

What’s a fic that pushed you out of your comfort zone?

All of them lol.  In one way or another, because I always have this moment right before I post a new work - or a chapter update, where I have to convince myself it’s a good idea (thanks anxiety 🙃).

Do you write crossovers?  What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Yup yup - and oh hands down, Pwimo where Primo Nizzuto turns into a catboi.  But I have something even crazier in the works lol.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope :)

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Co-planned EO, butttt - not yet, though fingers crossed for a little something later in the year 😎🐙

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Oh I’m going to finish them.  I might be six months behind schedule but it’s going to happen.  I have yet to make a google doc of like a whole outline and not do a fic 😏

What are you currently working on?

My Joe x Nicky precanon get together fic, Their souls were knit together (and he loved him as himself).  Last night I uploaded the angstiest, most depressing chapter I have ever written ever (which is really saying something), but I’m just under halfway through and the rest is focused on healing and growing closer and all that lovely jazz.

I'll probably be working on it for the next month and uploading once a week - do some fluffy one shots here and there, and then dive into my Cult AU around Valentine's Day 👀 I mean, I have started it, but figured I'd pause while I worked on some things during December 🎄

What are your writing strengths?

I think when it comes to within the fic itself, maybe character backgrounds and dialogue?  I really like to explore what makes a person them from all angles, and discover that through dialogue and explorations of their past.  So I suppose a chunk of my energy goes into those portions the most?  I do like to think I’m funny sometimes, but sadly the angst tends to outweigh my attempts to balance it with humor, because I have yet to receive a comment of “this was funny” on a heavy chapter lolll

And just in case the question was about writing in general, I’d say my strength actually lies in my neuro divergent brain.  I don’t really need to carve out time to write, because I can sort of tap in, tap out throughout the day/week.  Thirty minutes here, pause - work on an errand, then head right back in for another hour, and so on.  I mean of course it’s great to be able to schedule a block of a day to just really pump out the words, but it’s not a necessity, and since I’m a mom with a full calendar, it’s nice not to need a lot of transition time between activities.  Helps me to actually be able to get more done during the day, so I can do some fun creative stuff in between errands.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?  Most recent?

I have some vague memory of jotting down notes for Sailor Moon fanfiction when I was like fourteen but I’m not 100% if I ever posted it, or just dreamt I did lol (twenty two years ago ahhhh!).  The Old Guard was the first fandom I wrote fics for and posted them on AO3!

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

That’s like asking a parent who their favorite kid is, I can’t pick one haha. But feel free to check out the link at the beginning to see which baker's dozens I linked that came to mind first lol

What fic are you most proud of?

I can’t do the proud word lol, hmmmm - I think I feel most humbled by someone saying they felt seen, or something I wrote resonated with a reader. Love hearing it helped them process something. I wrote plenty of fluff, and even pwf, but honestly I do try to reflect "What would I have wanted to read growing up?" (Because one, it nurtures my inner child and two, it might nurture someone else's 🥰)

Thank you for the tag Felicity

[polyamoryinfandoms]

Monthly Fic Roundup!

Hey gang! I’m posting the fics that were recommended on our last surveymonkey poll; thanks for everyone who recommended fics. Please note I did not get to read every fic on here and depended on your responses and the AO3 tags to mark for any triggers or story notes, so please read with caution if you’re worried about any content warnings!

If you want to recommend more fics, I’ll be posting another roundup poll later in the day today! 

Under the cut are 32 fics from: 

Agents of Shield (1) 

Bill & Ted (1) 

Castlevania (1) 

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (1) 

DCU (2) 

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (4) 

Game of Thrones (1) 

Harry Potter (1) 

Leverage (1) 

Mission Impossible (1 -- series) 

Sanders Sides (1-- series)

Sense8 (1)

Sherlock (1-- series) 

Star Wars (1) 

Stranger Things (8) 

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (1) 

The Untamed/CQL/MDZS (2)

Teen Wolf (2) 

White Collar (1) 

Agents of Shield: 

is it chill that you’re in my head? by lazyfish 

Pairing: Lance Hunter/Bobbi Morse/Alphonso Mackenzie

TW/TAGS: PTSD, Referenced Torture

Summary: It doesn't take long for Mack to realize he's in love with Bobbi and Hunter and has been for a while. Other realizations take slightly longer.

Bill and Ted (movie):

Our Home, Our Family, Our Love by CaptainWeasley

Pairing: Bill/Ted/Elizabeth/Joanna

TW/TAGS: slurs, implied/referenced child abuse, internalized homophobia, self harm

Summary: A series of firsts in Ted's life, as he slowly comes to terms with his sexuality and learns how to handle being in love with both his wife and his best friend. When Billie and Thea come out as trans, each in her own way, he does everything he can to help them be who they are.

Castlevania: 

Deliverance by cricketsong1985

Pairing: Trevor Belmont/Sypha Belnades/Alucard

TW/Tags: Blood kink, explicit sexual content,  gore, trauma, angst

Summary: Adrian is beginning to think that Wallachia will be a smoking pile of ash long before he, Trevor, and Sypha can stop Dracula’s war on humanity. They’ve been chasing the castle for months, but each time they get close, it vanishes. Traveling with such genuine and trustworthy allies has been unexpectedly pleasant; Adrian doesn’t mind that Trevor and Sypha are involved with each other, but he is taken entirely by surprise when they open their relationship to him one evening. Hopelessly in over his head, his heart keeps urging him forward, even when he’s forced to confront the darkest aspects of his nature. Adrian must learn to swallow his pride and let himself be vulnerable if he wants a chance at happiness. Unfortunately, there isn’t much time for looking within when the world is drenched in blood and magic, and the path to victory may destroy him completely.

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina: 

We will be judged by the courage of our hearts by MagicClem

Pairing: Harvey Kinkle/Sabrina Spellman/Nicholas Scratch

TW/TAGS: mention of an abusive parent 

Summary: It's been a month since the 13 almost destroyed Greendale. Now a full Witch, Sabrina tries to move on, with the help of one Nicholas Scratch.But one night, Harvey arrives at the Spellman's house and everything becomes complicated.

DCU: 

not for the faint of heart by pasdecoeur

Pairing: Hal Jordan/Bruce Wayne/Clark Kent

TW/TAGS: Explicit Sexual Content 

Summary: Clark opens a door that was meant to stay closed. Things spiral. or, What Not To Do When You’ve Fallen in Love with Batman: A Guide by Hal Jordan & Clark Kent.

All Good Things Come in Threes (Legends of Tomorrow) by IncendiaGlacies

Pairing: Gideon/Rip Hunter/Miranda Coburn

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting

Summary: “Two is a couple, three is a crowd,” Gideon stated. In which Gideon navigates her polyamorous relationship with Rip and Miranda. Domestic slice of life goodness.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off:

Pairing for all of these are Pairing: Cameron/Ferris/Sloane and are written by @fbdo1986

it’s enough to be whiplash

TW: death mention (no character death), drowning

A/N: To put it plainly, I took a few tricks from John Hughes’s earlier scripts of the film, which were more surreal and up-front with discussing death and end of the world scenarios. It was inspired by a concept that I couldn’t seem to shake after I thought of it: what if the pool scene was just a bit more high stakes?

all the things I never told you 

Summary: It’s Sloane, Ferris, and Cameron’s first afternoon alone at the Bueller residence in months. The busy twenty-four year olds who’ve struggled to find time together as their lives unfold in front of them try to think of what to do for the day when Cameron decides to let them in on what he’s been keeping from them.

bye bye love 

TW: Death mention (none of the main characters)

Summary: A hopefully angsty number that details Sloane’s, Cameron’s, and Ferris’s journey through heartbreak and loss after their Sophomore year in college. The title is named after a song by The Cars by the same name!

firestarter

Prompt #5: Where it doesn’t hurt with the OT3

Game of Thrones: 

Constellatory by blueandbulae

Pairing: Theon Greyjoy/Sansa Stark/Margaery Tyrell/Robb Stark (polycule, NO incest) 

TW: Some canon typical violence

Summary: It’s strange and messy and maybe nobody else will ever understand them but it works. It’s theirs, and theirs alone, and nobody can take that from them.Or: Robb and Theon storm King's Landing, rescue the princesses, and save the kingdom. Then comes the hard part.

Harry Potter: 

Unconventional by silver_fish

Pairing: Harry Potter/Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger

Summary: A few years, now, have passed since Hedwig’s death, and Hermione thinks it’s time Harry got a new pet. What sort of pet, though, neither she nor Ron know. Not until Harry himself offers her the perfect solution, that is.

Leverage: 

for better or worse (we change together) by idkimoutofideas

Pairing: Alec Hardison/Parker/Eliot Spencer

TW/TAGS: Canon typical violence

Summary: The moment Parker saw the stranger standing by the elevator, a dozen alarm bells went off in her head. She froze, and Hardison nearly walked into her as he entered behind her. It took her a moment to realize that while half of the alarm bells were telling her to get the fuck out of there, the other half were telling her to look closer. Or, Eliot Spencer is a recent war veteran who just moved to Portland in an attempt to lead a calmer lifestyle. He ends up with some weird neighbors, but it's Portland, everyone's a little weird.

Mission Impossible: 

Polyamorous Spies (series of 2 fics) by MagicClem

Pairing: Benji Dunn/Ethan Hunt/Ilsa Faust

TW/TAGS: Blood & injuries (2nd fic) 

Sander’s Sides: 

Love and Other Fairytales by SoDoRoses (Fairychess)

Pairing: LAMP/CALM (Logan, Roman, Virgil, Patton)

TW: violence, major character death, no NSFW in the main fic but there is a side series with NSFW, animal death, description of rot, nonconsentual control of another person, 'like death' state of being

Sense8: 

Crazy Life by MagicClem

Pairing: Kala Dandekar/Wolfgang Bogdanow/Rajan Rasal

Summary: Rajan would admit that this past few years had been crazy and life seems determined to make it crazier and crazier.Or: This is "Amor Vincit Omnia" from Rajan's perspective.

Sherlock: 

Lorem Ipsum by Saathi1013 (series) 

Pairing:  Sherlock Holmes/John Watson/Sarah Sawyer

TW: Abduction

Star Wars:

so just pull the trigger by Darnaguen

Pairing: Han Solo/Qi'ra/Lando Calrissian

TW/TAGS: Alcohol use 

Summary: “Oh, don’t pout Haan.” Lando lounges back, licking his newly berry-tinted lips with a lazy grin. “You know all you have to do is ask.”(Qi’ra’s eyes are glinting and her smile is dagger-sharp. Han knows the look: it’s one she wears whenever she has a winning hand.The dice on the table are mediocre at best. He shakes his head and drinks deep.)

Stranger Things: 

All pairings are Steve Harrington/Jonathan Byers/Nancy Wheeler

The Hawkins Three by nonymos

TW: Some canon typical homophobia and slurs

Summary: It's two weeks after the Snow Ball, Nancy's officially with Jonathan, and Steve is trying to move forward. If only he wasn't on a path that keeps circling back to the both of them.

lovers in a dangerous time by diogxnes

TW/TAGS: Briefly: panic attacks/PTSD, parental neglect

Summary: “So,” says Robin, sitting back in her chair, “what’s the deal there, anyway? With the whole you-Nancy-Jonathan thing.”The question makes his mouth run dry. Why would she ask that? Can she tell, possibly, how much he’s been thinking about Nancy these past few days? How starstruck he was when Nancy showed up at his house? Does she know about the mysterious warmth in his stomach when he thinks about Jonathan? “What do you mean, the whole me-Nancy-Jonathan thing?” “Come on, Steve. She’s your ex and he famously beat you up two years ago and now they’re dating each other and all three of you somehow ended up a part of this weird little monster-fighting club together. There’s gotta be a story there.”“I don’t know, Robs,” says Steve, rolling his eyes, relieved beyond measure that that’s all she meant. “You pretty much just covered all of it. There’s not much more to tell.”

Have Happened by cortexikid

TW/TAGS: Homophobia

Summary: "I overheard you. You were talking in your sleep.”Steve's heart fluttered nervously.“It was a little funny at first,” Nancy admitted, her tone a mix of teasing and apologetic, “you were moaning my name and I thought it’d be kinda funny if Mike accidentally overheard you having a sex dream about his sister—”Steve couldn’t control the guffaw that escaped him. “But then you said Jonathan’s name. Right after mine. All in the same breath.”

it’s a risk, it’s a gamble by nondz (pinkjook)

TW/TAGS: NSFW

Summary: “I think we should pretend to date,” Robin says. "What?" Steve answers.

still turning out by scoutshonor

TW/TAGS: Homophobic language

Summary: Steve knows senior year's supposed to be tough, but seriously?Not only does his dad want him to take over his business, but he lands himself into a fight with his best friend leaving him friendless and booted out of his inner-circle, gets stuck watching a bunch of kids after school because of a missing credit, has to repeat eleventh grade history, and, oh yeah. He has the minor issue of having no idea what he actually wants to do with his life.But it's not all that bad: not the kids he has to watch, and certainly not Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers, two friends from his history class. Friends. Just friends. Yeah, he and you both know that's bullshit.Steve's got a lot of figuring out to do.(or: HSAU Stoncy with Steve as a senior, doing his best)

(Following Stoncy fics are by @pterawaters​) 

Now and For Always 

TW/TAGS: Explicit, Sex where one party is drunk and the other isn't

Summary: Between graduating from college, starting new careers, and planning a wedding, the summer of 1990 is a busy time for Nancy, Steve, and Jonathan. When a war starts in the middle east, Jonathan gets called away just three weeks before the wedding. He’s determined to make it back in time, no matter what it takes.

It's not like people live like this

TW/TAGS: Car Accidents, Period-Typical Homophobia, NSFW

Summary: Concerned that Steve's less-than-stellar grades might have been making them look bad, his parents hired him a tutor, Jonathan Byers, they were sure he wouldn't find as distracting as his last one. Sure, Jonathan had good grades in school, but he really wished he didn't have to take the extra work to help his mother put food on the table. After all, everyone knew Steve Harrington was a jerk. Right? It turned out, not so much. After an impromptu study-session-turned-party and a game of spin the bottle, Steve and Jonathan both found themselves dating Nancy Wheeler. And that wasn't even the strangest thing that happened to any of them that week.

Mr. Sandman (series) 

TW/TAGS: Canon-typical violence, Explicit scenes

The Man from U.N.C.L.E.: 

Simmer On Low by canardroublard

Pairing: Illya/Napoleon/Gaby

TW/TAGS: semi-implied consensual voyeurism, whump

Summary: Scenes from five kitchens.

The Untamed/CQL/MDZS: 

inclusions by keiyashi 

Pairing: Sòng Lán | Sòng Zǐchēn/Xiǎo Xīngchén/Xuē Yáng | Xuē Chéngměi

TW/TAGS: NSFW

Summary: “I guess I feel left out. And I’m asking you to show me how not to?”“Show you?” Xue Yang laughs, easing the tension the only way he knows how. “Daozhang, if you aren’t careful, I might think you’re implying something quite forward.”Xingchen blinks at him. “Xue Yang, I feel like you’re trying to embarrass me, but that is what I was implying.”

melting the glacier by keiyashi 

Pairing: Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén/Mèng Yáo | Jīn Guāngyáo/Niè Míngjué

Summary: Wanting to be with Nie Mingjue is something Lan Xichen accepted about himself long ago. He wants only happiness for his friend, no matter what form it takes. Even if that form is quite lovely and possesses an enchanting mouth.

Teen Wolf: 

Feels Better Biting Down by callunavulgari, hiza-chan (callunavulgari)

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale/Lydia Martin

TW/TAGS: Blood

That I See You by FiccinDylan

Pairing: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski/Jordan Parris

TW/TAGS: NSFW, abo, m-preg (non graphic), werewolves, triads are normal

Summary: Deputy Jordan Parrish and Chef Derek Hale are in the prime of their lives and ready to take the next step in their relationship by courting an omega. Everything seems to be progressing smoothly until the new omega (aka Stiles Stilinski, the sheriff’s son) surfaces some unresolved tension from Jordan’s past. Jordan originally had the benefit of amnesia to block out his harried background, but now with his amnesia behind him, will he be able to resolve his past before he ruins his future?

White Collar: 

Always Starts the Same, with a Boy and a Girl by lightgetsin

Pairing: Neal Caffrey/Peter Burke/Elizabeth Burke

Tags: AU 

Summary: Summer, 1998. Neal Caffrey robs the gallery where Elizabeth O'Dell is working late, and comes away with a lot more than art. Agent Burke has no idea what's about to hit him.

[loominggaia]

Fanfiction: New York (part 7)

Anonymous submitted part 7 of their fanfic “New York”! I’m posting it under the cut. You can find the other parts under the fanfic tag.

Zeffer left that evening, taking to the city streets under the cover of night. Even at nighttime the city still seemed so lively and bright. It hurt his eyes, He deciding it be better to check the alleyways and darker corners of city, hoping he’d have better luck. Aside from afew homeless and passed out drunk people he found nobody of interest in the ally’s. That’s was about to change rather soon as the night went onward.

Outside the back of a dumpster by what looked like the back of a store he found three young humans just smoking and hanging out. All three wearing dark attire, black hair and makeup with piercings. Being the first sober people he saw, Zeffer decided to ask if they have seen anything. He walked up to them silently, startling them alittle by his approach. They greeted him, he ask if they’ve seen anyone matching Evans description. They say no but the group stares oddly at Zeffer.

Zeffer wondered why they where staring at him? Their stares where not that of fear or disgust but more curiosity with a large does of excitement. “He are you like, a vampire or something”? The short pudgy women of the group asked. “What”! Zeffer thought to himself, could they really see threw his illusion! Granted he wasn’t that great at illusions but still he Atleast thought he put it. Damn how he really wished he had the ability lie right now!

Zeffer tried but failed to dodge the question, as the tall, lanky guy with shaggy hair and way too thick eyeliner chimed in. “Yeah man, it’s cool if your a vampire dude, we’ve been dying to met one for real ! “. Okay what kind of freaks show has Zeffer walked in on? Why would anyone be happy to see a vampire, an evil blood guzzling corpse that feeds on the living? He get his answer whether he wanted to or not.

The shorter guy in the group, having long black hair with more metal in his face then in a zareen refinery piped in. “Hey man, could you turn us into vampires too!” Wait…. WHAT!!! Did Zeffer hear that right or was he just going crazy? Did this human seriously just ask to become an undead abomination!? His brain near shut down in pure shock. “Why the fuck you want this curse!” He blurted out in angry confusion, this was gonna be a bad night.

Each member of the group excitedly listed off the reasons for wanting to be a vampire, immortality, super strength, shapeshifting, etc… for as ridiculously stupid as wanting to be a vampire already was, some of their answers didn’t even make any sense? Last Zeffer checked vampires can’t turn into bats or mist, or survive decapitation. Zeffer just went off on them, going into a massive rant that vampirism was nothing but a curse of the worst kind and how all vampires are evil monsters.

His ranting against vampirism only seemed to encourage them. Them all being super happy to meet a real deal vampire and where enamored by his raving against his own kind. In an effort to shoot them down he let them know humans can’t become vampires, only fey can. They seemed confused, asking what fairies have anything to do with vampires? He didn’t know himself, just saying it was some magic stuff like how only commoners can become werewolves. Wrong answer.

They became even more ecstatic finding out werewolves where real too. Asking Zeffer if he knows any werewolves, how the eternal war between vampires and werewolves is going, and the shorter guy asking since he can’t be a vampire can he become werewolf instead? These humans really have lost their minds Zeffer thought. He finally got their names, the tall guy, Dillion introducing them, the fat girl being his gf Morgan and the short guy being their friend Alex.

Some how it got even crazier when the three rolled down their sleeves, offering their arms to him. Dillon spoke up saying that if he can’t turn them into vampires then at the very least they could offer themselves as his servants, forming a coven and performing dark rituals at his side. Zeffers brain had completely broke at this request, this outdoing their asking to become vampires in levels of sheer stupidity. He didn’t even know how to respond other then a resounding no.

Zeffer just stared in pure confusion, his eyes twitching. Okay he was done with these three. Zeffer just told them no, I’m not your dark master and I’m not gonna drink from you. They where genuinely upset by this, asking why not and where asking if he even was a real vampire? He sarcastically apologized for not being whatever image they had of vampires in their heads and just told them he’s not interested in creating some blood cult, besides humans can’t do magic.

“Can Too” Morgan told him indignantly, pouting. The three told Zeffer they really knew about magic and they could be so useful as his dark disciples and, and. Zeffer didn’t care to listen, he just walked away not wanting to be a part of this madness anymore, he had better things to do then argue with a bunch of idiots. What kind of strange, fucked up world has Evan gotten himself into where people actually WANT to be vampires and werewolves!? Zeffer just shivered and continued his search.

Zeffer had no luck finding his lover or any trace of him. Every allyway he searched had nothing of interest, again. In the backstreet he currently going down he found something interesting, a back ally vendor he could guess. An obese, dark skinned man wearing a jersey and sun glasses at night sat in a plastic chair overlooking a large vehicle. It’s back doors where open and showing what he had. This guy could be useful Zeffer thought to himself and decided to approach.

The man didn’t see him coming, jumping and shouting at him upon suddenly seeing him. “God damn man! Don’t sneak up on a brother like that with your crack head, skin diseased ass! Made me near shit my pants”! Judging by his reaction this guy could see through Zeffers disguise too and had a more ‘normal’ reaction thankfully. The man just glared at Zeffer, told him he don’t sell rocks and was asking what the hell he wanted. Zeffer just decided to ask his name and what he does sell.

The man introduced himself as fat tony with an f-a-t and is the sole owner and distributor of the little store in front of him. Handling all your night time needs, illegal or not. He also told Zeffer he don’t allow window shopping, so he can either buy something or leave. Zeffer asked if he sold phones and knew how to get ids? “Burner phones and fake id’s, that I most certainly can do” fat tony told him. Zeffer asked for phones and id’s for his full crew, minus one id for Elska.

He would have to pay upfront and in cash for this of course. He heard from the crew that gold coins don’t work here but did hear from Issac and Jeimos that they got a store owner to accept it after telling them it was solid gold. Taking a long shot Zeffer handed fat tony his coin purse as payment, he just looked in the bag and saw all the gold and silver coins and angrily asked “what the fuck is this”?.

Tony just threw the coins back at Zeffer and told him he’s not taking no Halloween props. Zeffer told him their real gold and silver but that didn’t sway him. Tony just asked if he looked like some kind of medieval merchant and told him he can either pay up or leave, it didn’t matter as long as it got Zeffer away from him faster.

Zeffer just left, realizing he wasn’t gonna get anywhere. The sun was rising so he was gonna have to go back to base, he also hadn’t drank that night and the blood thirst was basing at him. He always hated this but he was gonna needs to find a drink on the way back to bases. That’s when he noticed that a hooded figure was following him.

The hooded figure was walking behind him, a small distance but gaining. His hands where in his pockets and face covered, eyes staring directly at Zeffer. He knew this guy was gonna be trouble Zeffer looked at him he’d suddenly stop and just look around, but would continue his pursuit once Zeffer stopped looking.

The more Zeffer walked the faster the guy got, he was almost directly behind him now. He could hear the mans breathing and could see he was pulling something out of his pocket. The man grabbed Zeffer from behind, putting a gun to his head and told him he’s gonna hand over all his money or he’s gonna splatter his brain across the pavement.

Zeffer just laughed at him, that’s when the wanna be robber noticed Zeffers ghostly pale skins and glowing red eyes. He froze in a moment of hesitation, all the time Zeffer needed to break free and knock the gun out of his hand. His vampiric instincts took over as he bite the robber, deciding he will be his drink for tonight.

The man kicked and screamed trying to escape Zeffers grasp. His efforts where futile as Zeffer drank from him, his body falling lifeless to the ground after he was done with his feast. He always hated this, no matter who the victim was.

Curiously he checked his not so innocent victims pockets and didn’t find much but some cash. Deciding he wouldn’t be needing it anymore he pocketed the cash and went back to base for tonight.

*

I already stan Fat Tony. I love that Zeffer has this little cult of goth kids looking up to him, that’s hilarious! I’m imagining them trying to break into the hospital and save Evan for him or something, but who knows what will happen at this point. Things are getting really interesting! TO BE CONTINUED...?

[damn-stark]

Crossed Stars Bonus Chapter

Takes place between Ch.7 & Ch.8

A/N- we’re moving onto endgame! You know what that means five year time jump! And for that I decided to make this cool bonus chapter! There is some writing that matters to the story coming forth so 😏 but beside that this will include just “posts” from the characters! Let me know what you thought!! Also I couldn’t post a lot of the posts because I can only post 10 pictures but if you all want more let me know! I have way more “posts”

Warning- fluff, ANGST

Pairing- Poe Dameron x reader, Steve Rogers x reader

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

———

2020

2021

2022

2023

—

Its crazy to think that five years have passed, that you have been down in this strange planet for five years. What’s even crazier is that Steve and you have been together for four of those years (almost five). Well maybe dating him for that long wasn't that strange now that you thought it through, mainly because throughout those five years Poe has stuck around, even after the disaster confession that almost destroyed your friendship completely.

And saying that it wasn’t completely changed after that day was a lie, it was just you trying to be optimistic and trying to forget the fact that he hardly talked to you for a year, that he had confessed his love for you, a confession you neither returned or commented anything at all actually. Just left your own confession, the whole conversation locked in a box to never be opened (hopefully not anyway)

Why was the need to do so anyway? It’s been five years. Five years of the both of you just living life and acting as if nothing happened, him trying to date and you forgetting your feelings for your long time friend and being....happy...with Steve. It was all just going great. Really great!

To the point where both Steve and you chose to go on a double date with Poe and his date.

Great.

“It’s not to late to leave, you know?” You whisper to Steve as you get walked to your table, “we can still catch that Rom-com movie we wanted to see.”

Said man chuckles as he pulls your chair for you to sit, pushing it in a couple seconds after before commenting with the same humor, “and miss this great date? No.”

You groan dramatically and drop your head on his shoulder. Letting him wrap his arm around your shoulder and rest his own head on yours, “it won’t be that bad. Poe and you are good right?”

You shrug and lift your head off his shoulder, “yeah. He’s been distant lately but we’re good.”

As if you had been summoning him said man appears, following after the waiter with a small and pretty brunette at his side. They both sit across from Steve and you, the girls eyes landing on you before landing on Steve sitting next to you, a wide grin appearing on her soft features and her eyes almost seeming to give a glow as she keeps staring at Steve all star-struck—a look you now recognized only after seeing them another other people before.

“Hi, I’m so glad you guys could make it.” You greet with a forced smile, “almost thought you were going to bail.”

“You wish.” Poe jokes making your eyes roll. He then moves his hand and places it on the girls back, whispering something in her ear that made her look away from Steve to look at you with the same happy grin. An action that ticked you off for an unknown reason. “Kacy, this is y/n.” Said girl extends her hand out to you.

“Hi it’s so nice to finally meet you! Poe talks about you a lot, almost thought he was making you up.”

You shake her hand and keep your forced smile plastered on your lips, “it’s nice to meet you too.” You glance at Steve to try and introduce him, even you knew she him, “this is Steve.”

Kacy moves to shake his hand, her green eyes once again giving off that sparkle, “it’s such an honor meeting you.” Steve smiles and her eyes keep glued on him as she speaks to Poe, “you never told me we were coming to dinner with Captain America.”

Poe responded with a serious tone that didn’t match his smile at all, “It was a surprise.”

-

After ordering your food, after getting it brought to the table the girl never stopped talking. But unlike the other girls Poe’s dated, Kacy was...how do you say it in a way that didn’t sound rude, uhh..less of an airhead. She actually talked about dilemmas that went on around the world, and or talked about her job as a fashion designer. She was smart, but here’s the thing, every time she talked it was all just directed to Steve. And yes you couldn’t blame her, in her planet he was a famous hero, but she could be considerate to her actual date.

The only moment she even slightly included anybody else was to talk to you, to ask if Steve had proposed yet. It was question that you simply answered with pressed lips and a shake of your head. While Steve chose to stay silent, just making the whole conversation more awkward. Making Poe chug the remainder of his beer to ease the awkward situation on his part, his mood deflating and growing quieter than he already was. Something that let you speak to him to try and at least make him feel somewhat better.

“How you liking it so far?” You questioned Poe, who’s eyes were fixated on his plate, his hand just mindlessly twirling the pasta on his fork, not noticing you asked him something until you repeated your question.

“Oh, uh. It’s good.” He forced, a half smile tugging at his lips, “wouldn’t mind food from home though. I miss it.”

You nod in agreement, sharing a small laugh at a passing memory, “you know what I miss the most? Snaps food creations. His mixture of food from the rations we would get!”

“Yes exactly! Man even if the rations by themselves were tasteless he had a way to just make them taste gourmet.” Poe beamed, “he would always say he was going to retire and become a chef.” His smile faltered at the memory of his fallen friend, “I miss him.”

“Yeah me too.” Noticing Poe’s mood begin to drop back to what it was before, you decided to leave Kacy unbothered and let her talk Steve’s ear off. “I never told you but when we were starting out in the defense fleet, I uhh....” you pause and cringe at your next comment, “I had a crush on Captain Antilles.” You glance up at Poe who now had a wide grin, his white teeth showing perfectly.

“Oh sweetheart I noticed. I would hear you and the other girl pilots gush about him. I would also see the heart eyes you gave that man when he wasn’t looking. But I do think your eyes widened more when we saw Luke Skywalker.” Poe teased, dropping his fork on his plate and fully engaging with your conversation.

“I could’ve died happy that day we saw Luke Skywalker.” You laugh, “plus you can’t blame me, Antilles was a war veteran. He fought alongside Luke Skywalker and General Organa. He was a walking legend and one of my favorite pilots.”

“You said that about Han Solo, Luke Skywalker and Anakin Skywalker.” His grin turns smug, leaning himself closer to you to ask a ridiculous question. “If you had to choose between those three and Captain Antilles, who would you chose—”

“Don’t.” You interrupt, “I’m not choosing favorites, that’s impossible.”

“Fine,” Poe shrugged, his smug demeanor never fading, “then who would you choose to join your squadron?”

“Pfft,” You breath, rolling your eyes in a lighthearted way whilst leaning in as he did to respond with the obvious answer, “Easy, Han Solo. Only because he did the Kessel run in 15 parsecs.”

“Ah,” Poe shook his finger before you both corrected your answer in unison, “12 parsecs.” The both of you share a hearty laugh, the moment being like it would be before. Feeling like it was just you two and no one else in the room.

The feeling quickly vanishing as Kacy joined the conversation, “what’s so funny?”

“Oh, uhh.” You glance at Poe, both of your laughs dying off and only leaving faint smiles, “just stuff from back home.”

Kacy nods before turning to Poe, “I think it’s time to go. We’re all done with our food.”

“Sure thing.” Steve agrees, waving over the waiter for the tab.

“How about we all go back to the compound?” Poe oddly suggested, his eyes sliding over to you, “I learned a song on my guitar I would love to play.”

Without verbally asking for an answer, Steve and you shared an unspoken conversation as you both looked to each-other, minutes later sharing out loud your response, “sounds great.”

-

“How about you come over tonight?” Steve asks while tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, while you wait for Poe to come back down with his guitar. “We can watch a movie? And in the morning I can make you breakfast?”

You wrap your arms around his neck and smile, “watch a movie?”

“Or whatever you want to do.” He grins.

You bite your bottom lip and nod, “a movie is fine.” At the sound of approaching footsteps you pull away and sit on the couch beside Steve, with Kacy sitting at his other side, a huge smile on her red lips as she watched Poe.

“I just learned this, so don’t judge. I’m looking at you y/n.”

“I would never,” You snicker before propping your elbow on the couch’s arm and resting your head on your hand, “go. I won’t judge.”

Poe takes a deep breath before he begins to strum the strings, his eyes downcast and focused on what he was beginning to play, the silent strumming beginning to sound like the tune of a song. A quiet humming coming from the back of his throat before he drawled in another deep breath and slowly began to sing. His voice sounding soft and sweet like the melody of the music, the tune slowly picking up like the lyrics he sang.

His brown eyes coming up for a few seconds to meet your own, a soft smile appearing on his lips as he noticed the amazed expression you carried on your features. Tears slowly thereafter brimming your eyes, the soft smile on your own lips never leaving, the sound of your heart thumping in your chest picking up gradually at the brief glances Poe would share with you. Or at the little things you noticed, like the way his, his eyes briefly closed at certain moments, or the way his eyes crinkled when he sang certain lyrics.

Stars.

The tears that pooled your eyes, quickly ran down your cheeks as the sound of lyrics Poe sang hit your ears, words that touched your heart more than it should have ‘and its been a while but I still feel the same..Maybe I should let you go.’

More hot tears streamed down your cheeks as he continued singing, words that tore your heart in two and made you question everything all over again. Slowly coming to realization about something more, about feelings that never left. The feeling becoming overwhelming to the point that it made you rush out of the room and close yourself in the bathroom.

“Fuck me.” You cursed under your breath, running your hands through your hair before placing them on the counter-top. “What’s wrong with me?” Turning on the faucet you placed your hands under the running water, pulling them to splash your face only to drop the water as you remembered the makeup on your face—which was mostly ruined by the stains the tears left behind. “Stupid.”

The sound of the light tapping on the door made you pull away from the mirror to slowly open the door to see Steve with a worried expression painted on his face—“are you okay?”

You nodded and lied, “yeah, I just wasn’t feeling good.”

“You sure?” He pressed, his hand reaching to caress your cheek.

Responding with a silent hum you walked out back to the living area, meeting Poe gaze for a second before looking away and excusing yourself out to the group.

“It’s been a fun night, I really enjoyed it,” you feign a smile, “but uh I’m not feeling that well, you know I—”

“You’re pregnant?” Kacy interrupted abruptly and too enthusiastically, causing Poe to choke on the water he was drinking and for your eyes and Steve’s own to widen alike.

“What?!” You squeak, “no! Haha no. No. No.” Was that too many “No’s?” “It was the food, I just don’t think it sat well. I’m going to go to bed. It was nice meeting you Kacy.” Without waiting for an answer from anyone you walked away knowing Steve was following.

“Y/n, are you sure you’re okay?” He stressed again.

Turning around you stop before him and nod, “yeah. Is it fine if I go over another night? I’m not feeling okay.”

“Sure.” Steve agreed with hidden disappointment, his eyes catching Poe’s curious gaze on you before he turned away. “Goodnight. I love you.”

You smile sweetly and press a light kiss on his lips, “night.”

—

May 5 2023, couple days before the events of endgame. (Since I don’t know the actual month the events actually take place I just guessed)

.

.

.

(A/N- this chapter just complicates my feelings for both men..UGHHHH!! The bonus scene literally made me cry, ughh So again I ask, Team Dameron? Or Team Rogers?!! Also these relationships, especially the one with Poe and reader has been one of my favorites to write and develop. I’m so proud of it and I hope you guys like it too.) Also Future chapters is finally Endgame!!!

Tagged- @itsbuckyb1tch​​​​​, @kaitlynw011​​​​​ , @blushingwueen​​​​​ , @80sthottie, @thescarletknight2014​​​​​ , @bbuckysbeardd​​​​​ , @ellvswriting​​​​​ , @sakurashortstack​​​​​ , @whatthefrickfrackwereyouthinking​ , @danicalifxrnia​​​​​ , @lanatheawesome​​​​​​ , @perryoncw​​​​​ , @panic-onthegroundsofbrooklyn​​​​​ , @abysshaven​​​​​ , @valeecruz16​​​​​ , @gummy-bears16 , @winchescumberholland​​​​​ , @a-somehow-functioning-dumbass​​​​​ , @randomhanabananas​​​​​ , @just-a-sad-chicken-nugget-xxx​​​​

Permanent taglist- @ms-dont-care​ , @commondazy​

[gyllenhaalstories]

I read your tags under the last post and you did that as a teen? Thats messed up

hi anon! i don't know what's the tone of your question, whether you think it's messed up i was doing it and now i'm protecting minors from repeating the same bad experiences and mistakes or whether me being talked/convinced into writing and consuming written erotica was messed up. i'll clarify some things and put them under the read more to avoid triggering anybody.

tw: underage sexual activities, grooming, manipulation.

i've mentioned it a few times, but long before i wrote fanfictions, i was roleplaying. by roleplaying, i mean creating characters or writing as characters, basically writing fanfiction but with someone or multiple writing partners at a time. i was 11 or 12 when i started on a french platform and interacted with god knows who. i was around 13-14 when i started roleplaying on facebook and on tumblr. it was not super uncommon for minors and teenagers to do this, especially on facebook. we were a bunch of lonely antisocial teenagers living high school drama both in real life and online. there was massive amounts of lies, manipulation, bullying and so on. but to many, including me, it was the only way to make "friends", some were genuine friendships others were absolutely terrible. i first wrote smut in a roleplay on facebook with someone who was finishing college (my education system is different from america, college means high school and university and even pre-university programs and i could only assume it was the same for her). we wrote our stuff, she was very rude about my typos and my limited vocabulary but i did not question too much out of it, i just thought she was smarter (again because i assumed she was the same age as me). eventually, we got into writing smut. i was aware of the "fading to black" technique, which is what you do when you skip from a scene that gets heated to what happens after the action and in my reply, i faded to black. she asked me to rewrite it, she wanted to do the sex scene because it was "important for character development", it wasn't, she just needed something to satisfy whatever the fuck she needed to satisfy. now i can look back and understand that, but back then i had no idea. so we wrote that scene. the entire time i felt extremely uncomfortable and i kept apologizing and delaying my reply until she completely disappeared on me and blocked my account, seemingly because i wasn't fun to write with anymore.

another facebook experience occured a year or two later. i was 15, i've had some rough encounters with other rpers who held a big place in my personal life too so i was very vulnerable. i came across this girl who never told me anything regarding her age and her personal life, while constantly asking me questions about mine. we wrote this couple, she constantly forced me into writing smut. i'd suggest new date ideas, new plot twists, new settings, anything just to avoid writing sex scenes for the 5th time in the same day. she told me "you'll like it, you'll get better at it when you practice, i'll tell you how it works, it's gonna make you feel good too". so i kept writing with her, i had no other friend at that time so i thought that if i did what she demanded me to do to, she'd stick around and like me. we wrote sex scene after sex scene, we added pregnancy plots, a forced pregnancy even, i was incredibly uncomfortable. i made a different account, i tried to escape her but i couldn't. she had around 5 or 6 accounts where she would go around and find young partners to write with. she had a friend who did the same. there was nowhere to go. i eventually ghosted the previous account we wrote on together and focused on my new character. she was gaining a bit of traction, i met someone there too. we became friends instantly. i was 16 when this new person and i decided to talk more "out of character". we got to know each other, we became best friends and we still are today. we were writing so many different plots and relationships, but they were always respectful of the boundaries we both set. when i turned 18, she finally brought up this previous person who manipulated me into writing smut. she said she had met her, years before me. she was, too, talked into writing sex when she was around my age. we both found out this other person was a 35 years-old woman, a creep, who hunted down our roleplay community to write smut with us, teens and kids. she made us believe it was okay, that she'd "teach us the way". she'd gaslight you and manipulate you into getting what she wanted. there were stories going around that were even crazier than mine. i was manipulated into writing sex with someone twice my age when i was still a teenager. for the longest time, i avoided writing smut, even in roleplays. it took me years to work the courage to write smut again, to develop sex headcanons for my characters in roleplays. i wrote smut with my best friend, whom i trust with my whole life, once or twice and she always insisted we stopped if i were uncomfortable until we just stopped altogether and focused on headcanons and other fluffy ideas rather than fully fleshed out written erotica.

i was reading smut, i was consuming porn, i was on tumblr this whole time and that was before the grand purge of adult material. it was different, in a way, because i was choosing to consume such things. but still. i was like 14 and seeing dicks and pussies out in the wild on tumblr. i had no interest in relationships, in dating, in sex even and i was seeing all of this. i was learning that if you wanted others to desire you, you had to be like the girls on porn videos, you had to do all kinds of crazy things and let (mostly) men take advantage of you because that's hot.

all of that just to say...

IT FUCKS YOU UP. it just fucks you up. it makes you think you're not normal, it makes you think you're weak, you're immature, you're just not cool enough. it makes you think you owe sexual favours to other people. it makes you think your sexual desires are just something people can play with so they can get what they want. i've come a long way. i've learned about my own sexuality a lot. i'm still very insecure in real life, but this blog has allowed me to explore my own desires and fantasies in a safe way, following my own boundaries. it might not seem like much to you. but it was a lot to me. i was hiding this from everybody, my only escape from real life was becoming as toxic as real life itself. the lines were blurred between online and reality. i became scared of people. i thought they were all like the other girls who were full on adults taking advantage of KIDS to write sex. they didn't care if it sucked, they got off from it.

being a blog that is 18+ is not just for aesthetic. it's not just to be cool and act like we're more mature. IT'S A SAFETY FOR BOTH US, AND YOU. we want to avoid that minors fall into traps and rabbit holes. we want to avoid minors from constructing their sexualities around what is clearly fake. FAN FICTION IS FICTION but it can impact your real life, especially when you're young and unexperienced.

i am a firm believer that 18/21 and other ages of consent are NOT magic numbers. you don't suddenly become "mature" at the second you turn 18. they are just minimum age requirements that can allow both you and us some sort of safety. you can be 15 and sexually experienced. you can be a 35 years-old virgin and more sexually experienced than your average person. but that doesn't mean you can't respect other people's boundaries and lurk on their blog while being a minor. you are exposing yourself to things you shouldn't be exposed to at your age.

PROTECT YOURSELF. PROTECT OTHERS. RESPECT EVERYBODY'S BOUNDARIES.

[laurieteddy]

tale of the field | beth march x reader

Description: you and Beth make your way to the field to have a picnic together. (gender neutral reader x beth march)

Request: anon requested simply something beth x reader

Wanrings: none

Word count: 2,066

A/N: this is my first ever Little Women fic, please let me know what you think! I dearly love Beth and I hope I did well :) also I’m on mobile so sorry if the post is weird/long

Requests are open!

Beth was the most captivating person you had ever met. She was such a caring and loving person, always glad to give a helping hand and kind word. She had such a tender and compassionate demeanor about her. It was as if she could calm any storm with the most gentle of words, something quite amazing. She did seem to put others before herself more often than not though. You were always there to put her first, as she at times would allow herself to slip in order to help other people.

Growing up around the March family and Laurie, you spent most of your days with Beth, finding her company to be your favorite by far. You would do a variety of things together. Cooking, gardening, acting out plays with her sisters, miserably failing when she would try teaching you how to play piano. Name anything and you have done it or will in the future. Both of you loved every minute of it. Jo often teased that you should mind how much time you spent together because might become too much alike.

“I couldn’t stand another Beth.” She’d joke.

This didn’t stop you of course, if anything it pushed you closer. Neither of you really enjoyed anyone else’s company as much as each other’s, why not do it as often as you could? So together you were, going on adventures of all sorts. From going to the market to exploring the woods, you would make anything an adventure. Today your adventure was going on a picnic in a field.

The sun was out and a light breeze was in the air, it was perfect weather for your plans. A smile was on your face as you entered the March home, much like your own, and quickly you made your way to the kitchen where you could hear Beth scorning Amy for trying to steal the bread. It felt like home to all who entered and they felt like family that you were ever so close to.

“Amy March, you keep your grubby paws off of my delicious lunch,” you teased with a grin.

Amy jumped at the sound of your voice, soon after making her way over to you when she recognized you.

“Oh, y/n, you’re here!” She chirped, “Don’t you look wonderful today.”

You raised a brow, “No reason to suck up, you aren’t going this time.”

Beth let out a small giggle, continuing to pack her picnic basket. Amy stomped her foot and was clearly upset at what you said. You knew she would want to go and that she had likely been bothering Beth and Marmee about it all week. Typically you wouldn’t mind if she joined but it was nice to spend some time with just you and Beth, no one else, especially not Amy. You both loved her to death but she could be a handful at times.

“Why not?” Amy whined.

“Because Beth and I have had this planned for just the two of us for weeks now.” you explained.

“We have to go now, Amy. You can come with us next time, we promise.” Beth offered a small smile.

Amy was quick to decline, a frown on her face. “I want to go now!”

“I know you do,” you pat the top of her head with an exaggerated frown. “Here, if I give you some of the cookies I made will you settle for next time?”

Her eyes widened and a smile spread across her lips. “Yes!”

You handed her three cookies and off she went, skipping away with joy and calling out to Meg and Jo. You and Beth couldn’t help but laugh at the rather simple solution used to pay her off after days of begging. Amy wasn’t typically so easy to get off your back, you knew she’d beg and you also knew she’d cooperate with those cookies.

Beth shook her head at her sister’s antics, “How did you know to make her favorite cookie?”

“Because Amy always wants to tag along, I knew I could get her to listen with them.” You smiled, “And if I didn’t have to bribe her we would’ve had more cookies, it was a win win situation.”

She chuckled at your response, knowing you were absolutely right. Locking arms with Beth you started today’s adventure. You had been to the field many times, meaning thought no longer needed to be used when finding your way there. Often you’d come up with wild tales to share along the way, dramatically acting them out with whatever makeshift props could be found on the path. It became somewhat of an unspoken tradition, and the crazier the tale the better. Another game seemed to be paired with this.

If you happened upon anyone you were to pause, acting completely normal as you passed but breaking right back into the story once out of sight. These were simply silly games but they brought smiles to your faces, and they helped Beth to feel more comfortable doing such things where you could be caught goofing around.

Anything you could do to help Beth feel more comfortable you would do, especially when you had gone out away from home. While plenty of fun could be found close to home there was much to be had elsewhere and you didn’t want Beth to miss out. You always went out on her terms, never wanting to make her feel pressured. She easily found herself calm around you, knowing she could trust you and that you were someone who truly understood her. Both of you had only the best intentions and interest for one another, promising to always be there for one another.

Though maybe not when you were deep in your tales.

“Put your sword to rest, Margaret! It’s no use to you any longer.” You spoke with a strong voice, pointing your sword (a conveniently found and crooked stick) at her.

Beth slowly placed her own sword on the ground, raising her hands above her head as she stood. “Would you truly kill me, Adrian? You’re no killer, even at your worst.”

You pushed your stick towards her, “I would watch my mouth if I were you.”

Margaret and Adrian, your newfound names in this tale. They were deeply in love with one another, but being from opposing families that despised each other for generations made it nearly impossible for them to be together. Still, they tried. Their families were not happy about it and did what they needed to prevent the two from being together. Spreading slander, making them go at each other’s throats just like the rest of their relations.

“I only speak the truth,” she delivered her line stern but gentle. Reaching out she put a hand on your sword, lightly pushing it down to point the ground. “I know you loved me at least once upon a dream, and if that love still lingers as mine does for you… I find it hard to believe you might kill me.”

Your heart swelled as she stepped closer, something that wasn’t part of your game. Her words and actions were so soft spoken and delicate, catching you off guard and stumping you. Your character was to stab Beth’s, giving the tale a dramatic speech about Adrian’s grief and regret before they drew their own final breath, making for quite a dramatic ending. Something was telling you to go for a different and new ending, finding yourself unable to hurt Margaret as Beth played her so well.

Keeping your gaze on Beth’s you dropped your sword. “You were right, I could never kill you. How could I ever have even come so close as I did?”

Beth was a bit surprised by the drop of your sword, quickly going along with it though. She held her chin high and embraced you in a hug, what she believed Margaret may do in that time.

“All is well, my love.” Her fingers tangled themselves through your hair, “I understand, I had been as close.”

A blush creeped onto your cheeks, completely out of character for Adrian. You and Beth had hugged countless times before but never in the context of this tale, never in such a way more than friendship. You wrapped your arms around her, trying to fall back into character. To appear more heartbroken you let your body fall somewhat limp, hoping to mask your previous flustered feeling.

Beth held you closer, “I am here. I will forever be with you, my dearest Adrian.”

“I have missed your embrace so,” your fingers gripped tighter as your eyes squeezed shut. “But… I cannot ask you to stay, nor can I allow it.”

Unwantingly, you peeled yourself away from her, resting your hand on Beth’s cheek. Her eyebrows furrowed, showing a confusion in herself and Margaret.

“I love you,” you began, “and yet I have hurt you. I can never forgive myself for this.” Your thumb skimmed over her cheekbone and she rested her hand over your own. “It would be selfish of me to wish you to stay,” you smiled weakly, “and so I must leave you once more.”

She let out a gentle breath. You seemed to have exchanged postures, yourself now standing tall while Beth let her shoulders drop. You were holding each other in near silence and definite bliss. Beth realized, too, that you had never held one another in such a way. She kept the thought to herself, just as you had. A blush nearly came to her as well, which she was quick to hide by bowing her head which was a seemingly meaningless action.

“Stay or leave,” she removed your hand from her cheek, “I shall think nothing but fond and loving thoughts of you daily.”

Her lips planted a small kiss on the palm of your hand, covering your hand with her own once again as if to seal the kiss. With that she let your hand fall, looking up to you through her lashes one last time as Margaret. Your breath seemed to have caught in your throat and you found yourself speechless, completely overcome by the moment.

Beth March had just given you a kiss on the palm of your hand, a completely new kiss than you had ever received. A kiss that part of you longed for, even if you didn’t realize it until you received it. Such a simple, and likely aimless, thing. Maybe you were reading too much into the tale, possibly creating an overemphasized reality. Beth was doing the same, her shy nature doing her no favors that minute.

“What a way to end our tale,” you broke the silence. “I simply couldn’t kill Margaret after everything she had been through to be back with Adrian.”

Beth brushed her hair behind her ear, clearing her throat and straightening her posture. “It still gave us the dramatic ending we craved, Jo would approve.”

“Ah, yes. Jo does enjoy a good drama,” you were both quick to change the subject. “And I think she’d be impressed by our impromptu skills.”

Beginning to feel a pressure, your actions were meek. You both did your best not to let feelings stir, always offering to listen to one another talk about anything whenever needed. There were times like this, though, where you were both too afraid to address anything. How were you to confess your love for one another when you refused to first confess it to yourself?

“Look, the field.” Beth smiled, skipping ahead to find the perfect spot for your picnic.

You stayed in the field for nearly the rest of the day, returning home right as the sun had set. The evening wasn’t filled with many words, rather each other’s peaceful company as you rested your head on Beth’s shoulder.

On the way home you picked a flower for her, something you joked she could keep as a reminder of that day. You both laughed about it in the moment, saying there wasn’t anything very special about that day. It was another day in the field, that was all. But it wasn’t a reminder for what took place in the field, it was a reminder of what happened before you had arrived. Beth kept the flower, pressing it as soon as she got upstairs and keeping it in her private journal as a bookmark.

[orions-nebula]

I’m Ready Now (1) Steve Rogers x Reader.

Summary: You don’t remember when you started falling in love with Steve. What you do know is that with each year that passed by you fell even more in love with him. Despite the years of friendship and special nights spent together, there were constant mixed signal tossed left and right which made you doubt. One day everything changes and you find yourself going through a major life altering moment. 

Warnings: Curse words, mentions of panic attacks & anxiety nothing too bad, maybe a bit of fluff? Word count: 2,837

Here’s the Prologue, if you would like to read it. :)

IMPORTANT A/N: Hey you guys, I just wanted to let you that Tumblr is not posting my content under the tags. I learned that many people are having the same problem. I tagged you here if you like the prologue that I posted. I hope you guys do not mind me tagging you, but if you do have an issue with this please let me know and I will remove you from the tags. 

I would also GREATLY appreciate it if you guys re-blogged my story since it will be the only way I can get it out there until Tumblr fixes the problem with the tags, but if you don’t want to, you don’t have to you have to. :)  Fingers crossed so that this all clears out soon!!! Regardless, I hope you enjoy Part 1.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You’ve been pinning over him for a while now. How could you not? You fell in love with the man who hid behind a mask of confidence in hopes of hiding the uncertainty, the loss of love, the anger, rancor, and bitterness of what the world had done to him.

Yet, it wasn’t always like that. Not in the beginning.

You had just been officially cleared by Fury to become an Avenger. You had passed all your educational, psychological, physical, and combat tests with flying colors. You worked hard for it, training every day and every night. In one way or another. Expanding your mind and body to become the best version of yourself. At the end it paid off, you were the only agent out of the hundreds that had signed up for the same position. A position in the Avengers team.

It had been your second month at the Tower as an Avenger when Steve Rogers came back from his three-month-long mission. It was the following day when you were introduced to him. He whispered a simple hello and kept to himself. Which you didn’t take personally. To be honest you didn’t care. Everyone was wrapped around his little finer, fawning over him like he was an ethereal being. Just seeing how everyone practically worshiped the floor he walked on made you feel mad. It was the same floor you walked on and so did everyone else! He got so much special treatment and attention it was ridiculous, which annoyed you to no end.

Why did he get special treatment? Was it because he was 'Captain America?' All the women practically threw themselves at him and for what? Just because he was deemed good looking and ‘hot’? What made him so special? Was it the fact that he’s a super solider and saved the world multiple times? Because Black Widow didn’t have any powers, neither did Hawkeye or the Falcon and they also saved the world many times. Or is it because people feel respect or maybe it was pity? Who knows, you certainly didn’t know. It wasn’t until the eight-month, after you met Steve, that something changed. It’s as if there was a switch that had been turned on which caused Steve to act friendlier towards you. And for some reason that had a minor effect on you.

It was your day off when you decided to visit the tower. Even though you had your own living space at the Compound you chose to live out in the city, in a nice upper Manhattan apartment. You just wanted some control over your own life, away from the superhero life.

It had been about a week since you last saw the gang, since you hadn’t been called in for any missions. On the eight day of your “mini-vacation” you decided to visit everyone.

As you drove to the Compound you smiled to yourself. You felt excited to see your friends, more like family. You were thankful that you got along with everyone. You had fit in perfectly and everyone loved you. How could they not? You were sweet, caring, silly, thoughtful, and always willing to help.

Steve for some reason was very reserved around you. He didn’t talk to you or joked around with you the way he did with the rest of the team. The most interaction you two shared were simple nods and quiet hellos.

Tony, however, adored you. You were one of the very few that was able to put up with. On the contrary, you sometimes encouraged him to be sillier and crazier, which he loved, because he knew that he could be his true self around you, and if he ever took it too far you would let him know. Most importantly you were there for him whenever he had a panic attack or when his anxiety spiked.

The closer you got to the compound the faster your fingers drummed against the steering wheel.

Your mind drifted to your favorite girl friend, Natasha, who you quickly saw as an older sister. You hoped to spend some quality time with her.

Natasha was happy to finally have another girl on the team. She and Wanda could only control the boys so much. Plus, having another girl made girls night more fun.

You smiled in excitement as you finally reached the compound. Once you parked your car in the garage you made your way inside, scanned yourself in and walked to the elevators. After scanning your handprint into the pad you asked Friday to take you to the common room and kitchen that was specifically for the Avengers.

“Of course, Miss (L/N).”

“Thanks Friday.” You said as you stepped out and walked towards the couch.

That’s where you saw Natasha perched on top of the couch sipping on a glass of red wine, watching The Umbrella Academy.

“Hey! I thought we were going to watch the show together! Nat!”

“Eew, what are you doing here?” She faked gagged.

“Wow I see I’m not welcomed, Romanoff.” You smirked.

“It’s nice to know you got my text.”

“I didn’t know you sent a text…”

“No wonder. I had already told everyone you probably wouldn’t make it tonight since you never replied, but I’m glad you were able to make it.” She smiled softly at you.

“I haven’t been on my phone. I’m sorry.” You replied sheepishly.

“Don’t apologize, it’s okay, just figured you were busy with something or maybe someone?” She winked at you as she continued sipping on her wine.

You gasped, ready to explain yourself when Steve popped his head from the kitchen and to your surprise greeted you in a chipper tone.

“Y/N! Hey! What are you doing here? Nat said you weren’t coming tonight.”

“Oh, um yeah, I didn’t realize you guys had something going on. Didn’t check my phone. I was just stopping by to say hello.”

“Well come take a seat. Dinner is almost ready. Sam is cooking tonight.” He smiled at you.

You smiled back at Steve and followed him into the dining room that connected to the kitchen. When you walked in you saw Sam stirring something in a pot.

“Hey Sam.”

“Eeeey (Nickname)! Look who finally decided to show up!”

When he turned around you snorted. He was wearing the most ridiculous apron you had ever seen that read “Kiss the Chef.”

He saw you looking at his apron and wiggled his eyebrows, “Wanna give me a kiss me? Come on, I’ll even let you give me as many kisses as you want.”

You burst out laughing, shaking your head, “you wish Samuel. You wish.” He stuck his tongue out at you and went back to stirring.

Steve turned to you and offered you a seat, pulling the chair out letting you sit and then pushing it back in.

“Thank you, Steve.” You smiled softly at him.

“Of course. Now, what can I get you to drink? Water, wine, some juice?”

“Water is just fine, thank you.”

“Awwwh, look at that! Aren’t you guys just cute?” Tony smirked as he stepped in the kitchen and sat down, looking between you and Steve.

His comment had taken you by surprise, but you just ignored it while Steve rolled his eyes and got you a glass of water.

Tony turned to you and raised an eyebrow. “So sweet cheeks, where you been all week?”

“I’ve been home, cleaning, reading, and um, doing a bit of volunteering.” You looked up to Steve and thanked him as he sat the glass of water in front of you.

“I’m going to round up everyone for dinner,” Steve said as he started walking out of the kitchen.

Tony waved him off and continued eyeing you. “Volunteering? No hot dates? Come on (Y/N), what are you? Eighty?”

“Well Mr. Starky some of us like to spend our free time in different ways. Not all of us need to have wild sex and get drunk to have a good time.”

Tony pursed his lips at your comment, “never call me that again sweet cheeks.” But then he smirked. “Maybe you can take old Rogers with you next time. God knows you both need a date.”

You tried not blushing at his comment, but you definitely couldn’t hold in after the follow-up comment Tony made.

“Now that I think about it, you guys would make a cute couple. Don’t you think so Wilson?”

You interrupted Sam before he could speak, “Okaaay, that’s enough of that.”

You stood up and started setting the table as a distraction, while Sam and Tony kept on making jokes. You didn’t want to admit it but what Tony said made you feel flustered for some unknown reason.

That night, as you drove back to your apartment, your thoughts drifted to what Tony said about Steve and you.

Me and Steve? Ha! I doubt it, I’m probably not even his type. You thought to yourself.

From that night you decided to ignore whatever that was. And you did, you didn’t think about it not, not again until a couple of months later.

Tony had invited you, and Steve to dinner. You were celebrating your first year as an Avenger. You had just placed your drink orders when Tony turned to you.

“I’m sorry sweet cheeks, but I promise you that once everyone gets back, we’ll throw you a big ass party! Something better than tonight.”

Everyone was either on a mission or away for some important event. You knew that Nat, Sam, Wanda, and Vision were away on a mission in Argentina. Clint flew back home to his family when he got an emergency call, apparently his son fell off a tree and broke his leg. Bruce was called to India, where he previously worked before joining the Avengers, to help train some of the doctors and nurses that were interning while giving their time as volunteers. And Thor was off-world.

That left you, Tony, and Steve by yourselves. Tony, not passing up an opportunity to celebrate or spend money, decided to take you out to dinner. He invited Steve along since he was at the Compound as well.

“Are you kidding me? This place is awesome! When I said I wanted sushi I mean from like Sushi Yasaka not freaking Masa!” You quietly, but gratefully, explained.

“Well you deserve the best. As a matter of fact, let’s start planning! What theme would you like it to be? You name it and I’ll pay it.” You laughed at the silly motto Tony came up with.

“It’s okay Tony, you don’t have to throw a big party. I wouldn’t mind if it was just us, the team celebrating. You know, something simple and private?”

“Awwh come on (Nickname)! That’s no fun, live a little.” Tony complained as you shook your head at him.

“Tony,” Steve warned.

“I appreciate it Tony. Like I said, I rather it be just the nine of us. Plus, I wouldn’t want to spend it with anyone else.

Steve looked at you and showed his gratitude, “I know I don’t say it often, but uh, you’re a valuable asset to the team. You brought a new dynamic to the team and you not only have our backs out in the field but in our everyday lives as well. We’re very lucky to have you (Y/N). Thank you for everything.”

“That’s, that’s sweet of you Steve. Thank you.”

“Yeah (Nickname), you know we love you and whatever you want or need, we got you,” Tony said as he gave you a side hug.

“Whatever you need (Y/N).” Steve reiterated as he reached for your hand, giving it a light squeeze.

You smiled at him, looking straight into his eyes, and that was the first time you noticed how clear and blue they were. Full of comfort and admiration. Or maybe it was respect? It made you feel calm, as if you could drown in depths of the calming waters.

After the drinks were brought out and the first appetizers were set down, you all began joking. Sharing all sorts of funny and embarrassing memories. The night progressed with a lot of drinking and pictures being sent to the team from Tony, in hopes of making the others feel jealous of your night out.

The check was brought out and paid for, but not without Steve insisting he and Tony should split. Only to have Tony fire back, “Come on Rogers, I invited so I’m paying. Plus, I’m a multi-billionaire, I like showing off.”

Steve shook his head as you all stood up to head over the valet area. Once you were all inside Tony’s R8, you couldn’t help but express your gratitude.

“Thank you, you guys. Don’t tell the rest of the team, especially Natasha, but I’m happy we got to spend time, just the three us.” It was at that moment Steve turned to look at you and for some reason you got that feeling, again! That queasy feeling.

Why did he keep looking at you like that? And why did it keep making you feel that way? Most importantly, why did he start acknowledging you all of a sudden when just three months ago he practically gave you the cold shoulder?

You probably should have turned away from him but you couldn’t help it, so you just kept staring at Steve. Mesmerized by how beautiful he looked, with the New York lights dancing off those beautiful azure eyes.

No. You thought to yourself, but that was easier said than done.

You guessed it was in that night when you started to see Steve in a different light. His smiles brought you warmth and his laughter made your day brighter, but you knew that he wasn’t showing his true self. His façade he put it to reserve his heart just made you yearn to get to know him.

In truth, you never saw him as Captain America, nor as the perfect image of Freedom that represents all of America. You always saw him as just a man who needed to be in control of everything, but you soon realized that there was more to him. More to him than what people painted him to be. You kept telling yourself that he never opened up to you in the first place, but you also never tried to reach out either.

The more you observed him and hanged out around him, the more you got to learn about him. He didn’t need to tell you anything, but you saw how hard he tried to hide his pain, his struggles, and the PTDS he suffered from.

That’s when you decided you would try to get to know him. The real him that no one knows about. You decided you would do your best to see him smile, just to see him feel the warmth he is so deserving of.

Which how you found yourself asking him if he was alright. “Steve, are you sure? You can trust me you know. I’ll always have your back, just like you said you would for me.”

“I- I don’t, ugh. Sam was supposed to be here, well should have been here, but he called away on a mission. We, uh more like he was helping me look for Bucky. I just got a new trail leading to Bucky and I can’t, I-” Steve exhaled frustratedly.

“Hey. Steve, take a deep breath, it’s okay. We’re talking about Sargent Barnes, right?” Steve simply nodded at your question. “Okay. I’ll help you. Just tell me what you need me to do.” Steve looked up at you with optimism in his eyes.

“Are you sure? I know you had plans today to see your friend, I don’t-”

“Steve, seriously it’s not a problem at all. Bucky is important to you, he’s your family. And we do whatever we can for our family. I’ll just call my friend and let her know I can’t make it today. Give me one second.”

You walked towards the back of the room dialing your friend, while Steve watched you intently. “Hey Karen, I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to make it today. Something important came up.”

Steve felt a slight tug in his chest at hearing your words, something important came up. Important. You were so willing to help him, despite not knowing Bucky, despite him never talking to you about Bucky. You pushed aside your plans and your friend just to help him find his friend.

Had you always been this kind? This caring? How had he missed it?

“Ready?”

“I’m ready. T-thank you.” Steve said, trying not to let his emotions get to him. Finding Bucky meant a lot to him, he was his brother, and here you were doing something that meant a lot to Steve. Here you were ready to help him find his brother.

Steve smiled at you, grabbed you by the hand, and pulled in for a tight hug.

Yup. Easier said than done.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Part 2

A/N: I’m sorry for any mistakes I tried my best to fix any typos and whatnot. I also wanted to let you guys know that  I’m working from home, so I will try my very best to update at least every other day and if I can’t then every 2-3 days.

Again, thank you for actually reading my story!

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[ma-sulevin]

otp questions

Tagged by @chyrstis​! Doing Sharky and Mattie for this one...

(art by @ziorre​)

DISAGREEMENTS

Who is more likely to raise their voice? Neither one of them really yells at the other one. Sharky’s voice is naturally louder, but Mattie’s more likely to speak sharply.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does? Neither of them. Mattie wouldn’t threaten that because it’s mean, and it would really hurt Sharky’s feelings, and threatening that would never cross Sharky’s mind.

Who actually keeps their word and leaves? Neither.

Who trashes the house? Sharky’s naturally messier. If Mattie was away for a while, he’d forget to clean up after himself the whole time and spend HOURS before she showed back up trying to make sure everything’s perfect again.

Do either of them get physical? Never ever. Sharky would rather die than hit his partner, and Mattie would leave the second that ever happened.

How often do they argue/disagree? Not super often? They have minor disagreements occasionally, mostly about how to handle life in the post-apocalyptic world.

Who is the first to apologize? Sharky. Usually, he’s just sad about it and wants them to be done arguing, and whatever they were disagreeing about isn’t important enough for them to keep going with it. 

SEX

Who is on top? Sharky’s the penetrating partner, but Mattie’s more dominant.

Who is on the bottom? See above!

Who has the strangest desires? We all know who has the weird desires in a Sharky ship.

Any kinks? Not in particular? Sharky’s up for almost anything, but he’s not going to bring it up if he thinks Mattie won’t like it. Mmm, I forgot some stuff I decided Sharky likes, but it’s gross and I’m not talking about it.

Who’s dominant in bed? Mattie for sure.

Is head ever in the equation? Like, all the time.

If so, who is better at performing it? It’s not that Mattie’s bad, it’s just that Sharky’s really, really good.

Ever had sex in public? Not where people could catch them, but they’ve definitely had sex outside. Like, a lot. Especially once they’re living their best post-bunker lives.

Who moans the most? They’re both loud and gross.

Who leaves the most marks? Sharky for sure. He likes to see the evidence that they’ve been together, and he likes that she’s proud to show them off a little.

Who is the more experienced of the two? Sharky��s had more partners, but Mattie’s probably had more sex.

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? Make love, mostly

Rough or soft? Usually soft, but not always. Sometimes you just gotta fuck.

How long do they usually last? I'm not really sure how to answer this? As long as it takes, I guess. Sometimes they like to tease.

Is protection used? Mattie’s not on any hormonal birth control. They use condoms until the condoms run out, and then they just try to make sure Sharky pulls out. Uh, they have a whole baby when they make it back out into the real world.

Does it ever get boring? Never.

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? Things don’t really get weirder than in the bunker with Sharky’s whole family.

FAMILY

Do they plan on having children/or have children? They both wanted kids eventually, but they didn’t want them as soon as they had one. Harrison was definitely an accident, and Mattie doesn’t exactly love being pregnant. Sharky likes it more than she does, honestly.

If so, how many children do they want/have? They end up with four. Harrison who was the accident, then they on purpose have Ian, Ripley, and Max all about four or so years apart.

AFFECTION

Who likes to cuddle? Both of them! They are so gross about it. Disgusting.

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? They’re both always down to clown.

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself? Mattie, but Sharky’s not exactly upset about it.

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? Sharky sometimes gets too hot, but he doesn’t want to tell her to go away. They both soak it right up.

Who gives the most kisses? Mattie loves those smooches.

What is their favourite non-sexual activity? They like cuddling and just hanging out together. They’d watch movies if they still had access to all of that.

Where is their favourite place to cuddle? The couch or their bed.

How often do they get time to themselves? Less often the older they get. They almost always have little kids around, and then the Highwaymen come to the county and it’s a whole damn thing.

SLEEPING

Who snores? Sharky. Mattie does only when she’s pregnant.

If both do, who snores the loudest? Mattie.

Do they share a bed or sleep separately? They share. They’re all over each other.

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? They cozy right the fuck up, especially in winter.

What do they wear to bed? Ideally, nothing, but usually shorts and t-shirts because of kids and roommates (Hurk).

Are either of them insomniacs? Sharky is. He has a hard time shutting his brain off enough to fall asleep, and once he wakes up in the middle of the night, he has a hard time relaxing again.

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? Nah.

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? Oh wrapped up for sure.

Who wakes up with bed hair? They both do, but Mattie has more hair so sometimes it’s crazier.

Who wakes up first? If Sharky is still asleep when the sun comes up, then Mattie gets up first. If Sharky’s going to be awake early, it’s because he woke up randomly at four am and decided to start his day.

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? Mattie’s not bringing him breakfast, but he’ll do it for her sometimes.

What is their favourite sleeping position? Spooning! Or Sharky on his back and Mattie on top of him like a starfish.

Do they set an alarm each night? Mattie would, but they don’t need to.

Can a television be found in their bedroom? Sharky would LOVE to have a TV on 24/7.

Who has nightmares? They both do, especially after everything they’ve been through with the cult situation.

Who has ridiculous dreams? Sharky, definitely.

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? Sharky’s just a bigger person, but Mattie doesn’t care because she wants to touch as much of him as possible anyway.

Who makes the bed? Who has time for that, really?

What time is bed time? Whenever they get sleepy!

Any routines/rituals before bed? They read to the kids (or tell made-up stories) and then get some good snuggle time in.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? Sharky is, if he didn’t wake up naturally.

WORK

Who is the busiest? Mattie

Who rakes in the highest income? It’s hard to say under this situation

Are any of them unemployed? Technically they both are. It’s the apocalypse!

Who takes the most sick days? Mattie gets sick slightly more often, but they can’t really take sick days

Who is more likely to turn up late to work? Sharky's way worse at keeping time

Who sucks up to their boss? Sharky would be, but it’s totally unintentional

What are their jobs? They’re just like. Survivors.

Who stresses the most? It depends on the situation, really? They stress about different things.

Do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? Mattie misses some of the comforts of pre-war, but Sharky loves how things are now. It’s the ideal situation for him.

Are they financially stable? They don’t go hungry, so yes.

HOME

Who does the washing? Mattie has more patience for doing a good job.

Who takes out the trash? They both do. They have to be careful about it because of the wild animal situation.

Who does the ironing? Who has time to iron?

Who does the cooking? Mattie is better at cooking, but they take turns with it.

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? Sharky, obviously 

Who is messier? Sharky

Who leaves the toilet roll empty? Sharky but totally unintentionally

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? Sharky, but again, unintentionally

Who forgets to flush the toilet? I’m not sure there are working toilets in the post-apocalyptic world, so...

Who is the prankster around the house? Sharky would be

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? Sharky loses them all the time. He just puts them down and forgets where.

Who mows the lawn? There’s not a lot of need for lawn care. 

Who answers the telephone? Mattie would

Who does the vacuuming? They’ll both sweep the house when it needs to be swept

Who does the groceries? Sharky will go out on supply runs more often than Mattie, but it’s because they want her to stay with the kids.

Who takes the longest to shower? It depends on whether or not Sharky wants to jerk off.

MISCELLANEOUS

Is money a problem? Nah

How many cars do they own? They always have at least one working vehicle, and usually others they can break apart for scrap

Do they own their home or do they rent? Well, they say possession is 9/10ths of the law, so...

Do they live in the city or in the country? Country. 

Do they enjoy their surroundings? Honestly? They really do.

What’s their song? Burn Like A Star Fire by Sleeping Wolf

What do they do when they’re away from each other? Basically whatever they have to do before they can get back together. Just what needs to be done -- taking care of the kids, supply runs, etc.

Where did they first meet? Same way it happens in-game. She finds him in the Moonflower and he falls in love immediately.

Who spends the most money when out shopping? Sharky's more impulsive about it, but there’s not a lot of actual purchasing happening? It’s more like grabbing whatever he thinks they need or would be fun.

Who’s more likely to flash their assets? Sharky for sure.

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over themselves? As long a there isn’t an actual injury, they both think it’s pretty funny.

Any mental issues? Mattie’s absurdly resilient mentally. She has nightmares from the cult situation, but only when she’s already otherwise stressed, and she has some minor PPD after the babies, but overall she’s really mentally healthy. Sharky has some ADHD issues, but nothing that’s holding him back now.

Who’s terrified of bugs? Mattie, but moreso because she doesn’t want anyone catching any weird germs from them.

Who kills the spiders around the house? Whoever sees it first.

Their favourite place? At home together.

Who pays the bills? No bills after the end of the world, but they work together to provide for their family.

Do they have any fears for their future? The future is incredibly uncertain. They’re always worried about illness or injury that wouldn’t have been serious before but is now, and that only heightens when the Highwaymen come around.

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? Mattie, just because she’s better at planning ahead for it.

Who’s the tallest? Sharky.

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? They’ll both do this, but I’m going to say Mattie probably does it more regularly.

Who wanders around in their underwear? Sharky more than Mattie.

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? Sharky does everything louder lol

What do they tease each other about? Everything, honestly. It’s a fun relationship

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? Mattie 100%. She loves Sharky, but... let’s be honest. The New Dawn look? Not great.

Who crushed first? Sharky fell had and fell fast, but Mattie wasn’t all that long behind him

Any alcohol or substance related problems? Sharky probably drinks a little more heavily than is healthy, but it’s not an abuse problem

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? Uh, well, Sharky.

Who swears the most? They both swear a lot. They try to clean up for the kids, but... it’s hard.

[galaxy-creationz]

A long and controversial fandom analysis:

I have *~thoughts~* about Stargirl and shipping and stuff but it’s gonna look like I’m trying to start beef with a certain 1 or 2 people here (one of which I follow oof) so if you’re reading this (you know who you are), I just want to say that I’m not. Though it’d be best if you didn’t read this because my opinion is very different from yours. I’m sorry, block me if you want, it’s nothing personal, I won’t be offended, but I just wanted to post this. 

Okay, if you aren’t one of the people I implied, take a deep breath and remind yourself that this is my personal opinion and I am not attacking anyone. And please read the tags.

I am open to (respectful!) debating, so here we go. Here’s the hot takes that could possibly start a ship war, though I pray that we are all mature enough to prevent it: 

My opinions on who I ship and also Courtney’s orientation, the short answer:

I ship her with both Yolanda and Cameron. Sorta. And my personal headcanon is that she’s attracted to both boys and girls (idk about specific labels tho) but she doesn’t know this until later. 

And here’s the long answer: 

I know that Camney will be canon at some point (sorry that’s just the truth), though a cast member that I can’t recall exactly who but I know is a cast member, said that their relationship will be “complicated”. Now, I have no idea how to interpret this, as said cast member was pretty vague about it.  

I know that Cameron finding out about his father’s death and (possibly?) turning evil will most likely be the reason, but I feel like there’s more.

Now, after some digging, I found out about his character in the comics. (Comic fans will probably know where this is going.) If they do bring this in, this gives another layer to the complicated-ness that the ship will be in season 2. 

In my ideal season 2, he and Courtney will date for a few episodes, then he’ll realize that he isn’t attracted to her (or not, according to what the writers decide to do with him) and break up. After this, Courtney will go to Yolanda for comfort which leads to them catching feelings for each other and then they date and Wildstar will be endgame. The end. If it doesn’t then I’m also chill with that but that’s just my favorite speculation.

Of course, this isn’t likely (but then again, I’m sure the writers won’t erase his identity for fear of backlash). Here are several other scenarios, which I’m also chill with:

1. He still turns evil but Courtney doesn’t know this until later. When she finds out, there is angst and a breakup, which either leads to them getting back together by the end of the season or Courtney ending up with someone else, whether it’s a new character or an existing one. 

2. If they don’t get back together, Courtney can still end up getting with Yolanda like in my ideal scenario. The same thing happens. 

3. Or Cameron doesn’t turn evil and the complicated-ness is all from finding out who his dad is (was) and there is less angst but he and Courtney stay together. 

Now, I might be saying this because I just dislike Camney a lot less than everyone else here, or I genuinely ship it,  which brings me to my next point:

I don’t know how I feel about the ship, or the other one. Like, at all. 

Am I just shipping it because it’s gonna be canon at some point? 

Do I actually like Camney more than Wildstar but I’m repressing that part of me for fear of being an outcast in the Tumblr fandom?

Do I not even like Wildstar and only ship them (and write a fic about  them) because everyone practically peer pressured me into it?

Do I secretly only ship Wildstar, and is my brain just tricking me into thinking I ship Camney because I ship the canon ships in other fandoms and is preparing me for when they become canon?

This gets even crazier when I factor in another one of Courtney’s potential (or just popular?) love interests, Cindy. 

Unlike most people in the fandom, I’m not a huge fan of her, especially because of what she did to Yolanda. It seems like everyone put the blame on Henry for that. Yes, he did have a part in it, but let’s not forget that it was 90% Cindy. 

I’ve seen claims that she’s coded to have feelings for Courtney, especially because of the tension (?) in their fight scenes. It was also confirmed by a cast member. People are also saying that the writers are trying to send the message that “straight good everything else bad”, but to be honest, I don’t see it. 

There are straight villains. (assuming that all those ISA pairings floating around are just crackships)

Also, Wildstar still has a chance of happening. 

Maybe I don’t like Starshiv as much as other people do because it reminds me of another ship. (Supergirl fans who follow me will know) Or maybe because I think Cindy is perfect as a villain and the only way the ship would work is if she had a redemption arc? Or because of the above reasons. Don’t get me wrong, I think she’s a good character, but just not a good person. 

I feel like in another world, if that Supergirl ship that it reminds me of didn’t exist, maybe I might’ve ended up a Starshiv shipper. But that’s not the world we live in. 

There are claims that the writers (one in particular) are homophobic. I don’t know enough about that one writer to say anything, but given that he’s an older straight man and Tumblr hates him, he probably is. But let’s not drop the H-word on everyone else. 

Which brings me to how disturbingly familiar this situation is to me. For those of you who aren’t in the Supergirl fandom, let me explain. 

Kara is the main character.  (Parallel to Courtney)

Lena (wow I didn’t censor her name for once) is a villain who is popularly shipped with her. (Parallel to Cindy but I genuinely hate Lena, and there is no confirmation that Lena is coded to have feelings for Kara)

William is supposedly Kara’s love interest. He has asked her out only once. (Parallel to Cameron but he’s 100% straight)

(I can’t find a character that’s the equivalent of Yolanda, so let’s just ignore her for this part.)

The resemblance is that I dislike Kara and Lena as a couple, but am partial to Kara and William, despite them not being my first choice as a ship. And the people who ship Kara with Lena tend to dislike William very, very much, claiming that he’s too boring.

Of course, with Supergirl being a much older show than Stargirl, this problem is 23894793847 times worse. We have people harassing the actors and sending  them death threats, and real person shipping is big, and they claim William to be abusive. 

I’m not saying that Starshiv shippers are as bad as that (obviously) but I’m scared they will be someday. Luckily, Wildstar is still more popular. 

Go ahead, hate Cameron if you want. He’s not real, so no feelings will be hurt. I am not implying that you will do this, so don’t take this the wrong way, but remember that his actor is real, has feelings, and is not the same as his character, so keep fiction and reality separate.

And please do the same with the other characters.

Anyways, to end this, let’s go back to where I started.

I feel like too many people think that Courtney can only like one gender. There’s the “fanon says it’s girls and canon says it’s boys” but like I said, she can like both so that’s what I think. 

The writers will most likely make her straight, and this is gonna make people really mad at them, causing a backlash that could potentially become like the Supergirl fandom’s. I hope not.

So, that’s my thoughts on Stargirl. Thank you for reading. I am fully prepared for a flood of anon hate coming after me. The second I get a hate ask, I’m closing my ask box for the next few days.

I’m gonna lose friends for this, aren’t I?

[gayregis]

angouleme can have little a avuncular guidance. as a treat ... heres some semblance of a compilation of regis being a guardian to angouleme, things i think about . both funnie and sad moments included i think

angouleme sneaks out at night to get into trouble / does other questionable things around the palace nocturnally, regis always catches her and it’s always on accident since they just have very similar time schedules. angouleme stares at him intensely in “oh fuck i just got caught” like O_O for a good 30 seconds EVERY time this happens but regis is just like :| and shrugs saying “i didn’t see anything, i’m a human, i can’t see at night or whatever” and walks off. also the next morning geralt always questions him as to what angouleme was doing, if he saw her when he was coming home, and regis always denies knowledge or says smth along the lines of “i’m not a narc, geralt :/”

angouleme yelling/losing her shit/saying wildly inappropriate things ... regis produces a ye olde granola bar from his bag and gives it to her and she quiets down immediately and is like :) content eating the granola bar. you can also substitute the granola bar with a bag of baby carrots.

similarly angouleme saying crazy shit and geralt telling her to be quiet and asking regis to recount this instead and regis says something incredibly similar/the exact same

that one time that milva was teaching angouleme to shoot and angouleme clear missed the target and got regis instead and actually for the first time was incredibly upset and regretful and guilty that she had inflicted pain and potentially death upon someone and was very worried and apologetic and ashamed ... but also when regis inevitably just plucks out the arrow and hands it back to her and says “oh i think this is yours” angouleme is like wait so he litcherally cant be killed... this is epic

basically angouleme who’s been abandoned having an immortal protector and mentor. peace

as i said in the tags of this post here: regis comes of as so peaceful as an individual that at first angouleme resents him a little, because she associates peace with arrogance... like, oh youre content with your life and dont hate yourself? so you think youre better than me? fucker. and she’s so used to asshole men being creeps in her life that this company still seems really bizarre in the regard that none of these men are dangerous. but then she learns about what ... who ... regis was in the past and she realizes that they’re similar, and then does the math and realizes that maybe one day she’ll also find this inner peace and can stop hating herself so much for the things she’s done and the things that have happened to her. angouleme not feeling as though she's so alone and such a fuckup that only she could ever get into such a mess like this... i feel like she has an unhealthy amount of survivor’s guilt, as in she blames herself for not dying while everyone else in her band did, and she also feels like what the world has given her she deserved because she was a fundamentally bad person from birth bc of her status, and that she will be stuck in this violent hellscape of a life forever and thats just how it is and she has to continue violence... but i think when she meets regis (and also milva) she realizes that violence does not need to be a cycle and change is possible.

also in the tags of that post: i think... regis developing more understanding/empathy and putting ethical philosophy into actual practice where it actually has stakes (haha haha haha stakes haha haha haha haha haha). i think in the hansa he learns what humanity actually means

also bc vampires just... do not parent, it’s not in their culture to, regis learning what guardianship actually means and growing into this position where he protects this child and begins to understand humanity on this deeper level of the feeling of protecting a child, because that’s very human, valuing and protecting the progenity for a new generation is incredibly human

also geralt arguing with regis that “humans don’t regrow their heads” so he can’t just be supporting her doing all sorts of dumb shit just bc he did it and he turned out alright... they kind of have to argue on how to parent i’m saying bc again vampire parenting is not much parenting at all. just let them go wild what’s the worst that could happen... they’ll learn sort of thing. so regis has to confront the idea of human fragility and mortality

i think regis also learns from angouleme in that it’s very easy to hate and loathe your past self and curse your past self, asking “what could i have possibly been thinking, what an idiotic thing to do...” when your past self was not actually devoid of any redeemable qualities and was actually just misguided and without hope... regis condemns his past self quite harshly but because he would never admonish angouleme in such a way i think he realizes that the self-loathing is excessive and unproductive and potentially harmful

i said this in a post already, but geralt is overflowing with fatherly vibes and milva is also stern so i think there is a lot of value in regis to angouleme , in that she can tell him practically anything and he won’t get on her case for it . she finds this kind of amnesty in him whereas with the other members of the hansa they’d freak and start asking her all these questions. regis is just like “hm ok” and maybe discusses a little but doesn’t give her shit for it. this allows angouleme to confide a lot of stuff that she wouldn’t normally feel safe to tell someone else, and also probably gets her out of a lot of trouble bc someone (a very powerful someone) will know where she is and what she’s doing... so if she gets into trouble, she has a lifeline

this also means she can tell him a lot of funnie stories that she doesn’t have to stop herself with because “was gonna say smth funny and then remembered it involved murder.” also regis has like a thousand stories too obviously so he counters her wild tales with smth even crazier and then they’ll try to compete for a bit like “well ONE TIME i...” but angouleme actually always wins and neither knows how she does

surgery lessons, or basically regis was sewing someone up and angouleme invaded the scene going “can i watch can i watch”

also alchemy lessons, which turns into basically “so that’s how you make fisstech... interesting”

i think also in these mentorships regis quizzes her lightly like “and what reactions does this species of plant produce in the human body...?” and angouleme says the right answer, “oh they drop dead” and regis is like “very good!” and angouleme kind of goes insane with happiness a little at being called ‘good’ / being praised by a parental figure for maybe like one of the first times in her life. similarly, i think regis would attest to angouleme’s character at the breakfast table in discussions, and say things like “well our angouleme is very smart” and she’d be like >:3!!!

as in canon, adopting each other’s speech mannerisms... not just regis adopting angouleme’s unique phrases, but i would also like to think abt angouleme saying smth pseudo-philosophical to throw someone off of her tracks... like “so, i owe you money... but what is the concept of debt and ownership, anyways? isn’t it all just a construct by society? by humanity?” and then she bolts and evades her creditors

regis trying to teach angouleme stuff and then being like “oh wait i forgot you can’t fly, hmm... ” “oh wait i forgot you can’t hypnotize people, hmm....... that complicates things...” ... jokes on regis though bc apparently angouleme can scale buildings and talk her way out of a lot of situations, so that’s almost as good as flight and hypnosis

im trying to not be sad rn but i think regis would be a very good person to cry on. like his cloak is very soft. and he smells like herbs. so there you go. but i think also angouleme having a breakdown would be cathartic for both of them because angouleme realizes that she’s being vulnerable around an adult and she isn’t afraid of them and regis realizes that he has a responsibility to not treat physical wounds, but rather to treat emotional ones and that’s infinitely more difficult

i think angouleme would have breakdowns to regis about: her family/her mother, geralt taking her into the hansa but she feels like he probably just sees her as a replacement daughter, i think also she gets into too much trouble one night and regis has to get her out of trouble and she kind of just breaks down because her life is crazy and has always been crazy and there’s no way out because this is all she has

i think angouleme also gets pretty upset at seeing children/teens with “perfect lives,” like she just gets crazy bitter about it... and there’s no shortage of nobility around the palace, so she’s constantly reminded of her background. i think regis’s not-being-a-human-isms and philosophy that stems from an immortal perspective that all humans are equal in life and death can help with this. but also he kind of has to learn that you can’t just talk about smth abt society or the past that is fucked up and solve it by having had said it... it will always remain an issue...

i also think that regis has his ravens scout around for angouleme’s lost pendant with a sea-cat on it, but when she gets it back she gets mad and says that she doesn’t want it because she doesn’t want to be reminded of her mother, regis is like “ok” but angouleme is still mad, she realizes she’s mad because she doesn;t think that regis realizes that he’s actually become more of a guardian to her than her biological mother was, and tries to provoke him but regis is unprovokable ofc so he’s like hm explain that and angouleme just spills her emotions

to bring this back to happy i think they could also prank geralt pretty hard. and or eavesdrop. plus there will be times like where angouleme is waiting by a door trying to listen in and straining and regis stands like 3 feet from the door and hears everything perfectly, just recites it all aloud and she’s like oh this is so much easier. 

also once angouleme was eavesdropping on geralt and dandelion arguing and regis approached and was like “angouleme :/” and angouleme was like >:/ “get out of here i’m tryna eavesdrop” and regis was like “there’s a more professional way to do this” and disappears through the door, angouleme is like “showoff!” ... geralt smells sage and throws a moon dust bomb at him and regis coughs up silver shards for the rest of the day. also when angouleme hears the explosion she jumps in, so this was a failed attempt all around