#e-dating is bullshit

[gods-chariots]

Tap to download.

I remember letters, voice messages, pictures, and videos.

We existed nowhere whole, but between the lines of poems, lyrics, and conversations,

in a plane of code and pixels where I didn't have touch to remember you by.

We hid each other there.

Segments parallel to each other’s lines, rushing, electrocuting. 

I used to hope just not to lose you, but toward the end hoped to keep you somewhere with a pulse, inside my chest, so when you sent me your voice, you spoke from within me.

I am reminded of how similar I am to the machine that bridged, limited us.

I had signed up to become it, become preordained for confinement,

and it was my soul that became desperate

to disrobe my flesh and bone and reveal the metals, glass, and wires that puncture the heart pumping pleas to exist differently, someplace else.

There, under the tree breaking the pavement, scribbled with the aging marks of slides and flips.

In the field of the fenced airport. Along palm trees. Outside your window,

where we would gift each other cities, skies, trips.

Why did I pretend I felt nothing for the picture 

of the scatter of toys and strollers around your feet,

your gentle company, long kinks of hair stark against the pin-straights of your baby brothers?

How could I keep in my throat the erupting ache to be there? To show you, really try to show you how much I wished we could be next to each other? Why didn't I? Why couldn't I? Why couldn’t I break the language of grit and grudge and guilt and find a way to reach into you through clicks, keys, scrapped files of pictures with slow shutter speeds, under that palm tree, make you look me in the eye and feel my palm?

Why was I a machine then, but when temper was lost, and you were dead to me,

and I was remembering other people by what I could not remember you by,

and when you found out, you wished to hurt me, and you intended to inflict pain on me,

why was I real? Why am I human when I miss you, hate you, when I want you gone?

Why did I care about being real only when we hurt each other for it? When I condemned you for showing what I couldn’t? When you spat at me for it? I did not know what any of it meant, and I still do not.

Why do I care about being a real girl for you now only when you have found someone there? Your true heart beats for them, and while I prayed to soothe you in the muscles of mine, I only hear myself from a silent ringer. I am a bar in a panel and bubbles of text and dropped calls.

I miss stitching what I remember. I remember tender offerings of comfort from across the world that I am glad never have been fulfilled,

for if I smelled you on your corpse bride jacket and saw your fingerprint on the ruby pendant, I would die.

Images, letters—they were enough. They were too much and too little. I feel like you would have loved to take care of me in images and letters. Look at me in tilts and pans. Find me in code and clouds. Love me in ones and zeros. You said you love me when I told you how you miss home when you I can't remember which was only something you would have said I can't remember from learning your brightness,

that harsh gratitude that translated far more profound than a wild, extrinsic, real life end. What I remember is how much I bled for you and how much guilt I harbored. I remember clearly all the violent wishes and bouts of painful anger.

We were always relieved to be okay and crawl and grip the phones that called and rung, no matter how unresolved, how futile. I thought it wasn't. For a couple of days. I could've done it. I could've become more. I felt it. I love you.

I remember us saying not to say it, but it always came back, so let us have had it.

Let us have had the privilege to have loved within the confines of screens,

through rushes of wired bolts of lightning, survived by millions of deleted letters, voice messages, pictures, and videos. I lie headless there where it all is. Thank you for knowing we are alive.

[zoennes]

“We met up once and it wasn't even a date. I did it for Amber. You know how she's always going on about Senne. So… Last Friday I asked him to cancel that gathering. But in exchange, for half an hour I had to…”

“Kiss?”

“Talk [to him].”

Zoenne + 30 minutes

[zero-braincells-left]

we fell in love in october - girl in red

i feel legally obligated to put this in my gf playlist (which only has 1 other song in it rn) cause. gay. (wlw way even though whatever the hell I am certainly isn’t cis) and. started dating on Halloween. that?? yeah

[wine-dark-soup]

have seen a lot of edits and gposes for "rarepair week" recently. now it's not something i'm into at all so i may be saying bullshit, but i find the definition of "rarepair" in the ffxiv community really funny. like everything is a rarepair except if your oc dates one of the scions or emet selch apparently

[redhead1180]

Sunshine

Pairing - dark!Rafe x pogue fem!reader

Summary - Reader has a crush on JJ, but JJ is dating Kie. Rafe decides he wants reader to get over JJ, no matter her say in the matter.

Words - 3k

Warnings MDNI - NON CON, DUB CON, drugging with E, slapping, physical fight (m vs f), dry humping, alcohol use, drug use, rough sex (p in v), degradation, blackmail, very dark Rafe.

A/N: This is my darkest piece I have ever wrote and of course it's for Rafe. He is mean SOB in this, so if that triggers you, please don't read. Thank you to @haven247 for the beta read. I am nervous about writing this dark, but hope you like it. PLEASE HEAD THE WARNINGS!

Being at a kook party was not your idea of fun, but they had free booze and it was better than a keggar. After the last week you’ve had, you have every intention of getting plastered and trying to forget your crush and best friend was dating someone else.

JJ your best friend since you were 4 and crush since you were 14, was officially dating Kie. And it hurt, a lot. You knew it was coming, saw the writing on the wall, but held out hope it wouldn’t. The only person who knew about the crush, that you knew of, was John B. He was your brother from another mother, and knew you inside and out. You three had been friends so long, you don’t remember a time when they weren’t there. John B has given you hug and told you he was sorry the day you saw them kissing through the Chateau window. He informed you they were dating and you had gone home and cried yourself to sleep. Avoiding them this past week, but couldn’t get around it for this party.

You had watched them dance, laugh, and make out, and were completely ready to vomit. Or wait, was they alcohol? I was in my 3rd concoction of the night and was not feeling much of anything. Well physically anyway.

Anyway, you were in the kitchen getting another drink, when you heard the last voice, you wanted to here.

“Well, well if it isn’t Miss Sunshine” Rafe Cameron sneered as he walked into the kitchen.

“Fuck off, Cameron” I told him, trying not to say more and start something.

“Anyone ever told you have a venomous mouth, Sunshine” he laughed.

“Only to you, Cameron. Everyone else thinks I am adorable and sweet” my voice dripping with sarcasm.

“I bet you taste sweet” he chuckled. I turned around and caught him looking me up and down. He showed no shame for being caught. “What’s got you drowning in booze tonight? Wouldn’t have anything to do with Maybank and Carrera doing the horizontal mambo, would it?”

“You’re such an asshole, Cameron” You go to walk past him and he grabs your upper arm and pulls close to him.

“Most girls that talk to me the way you do get punished” he leered, inches from my face.

So, side note, when I drink, I think I am ten feet tall and bulletproof. And tonight was no exception.

“Let go of me you fucking psycho!” I hissed at him, pulling my arm. Unfortunately, he was so much stronger than me, my arm barely moved in his grasp. “I swear to God Rafe, I am not in the mood for your bullshit tonight.”

“Don’t call me psycho and I think I need to teach you some manners.” he growled right before he grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me in to kiss him.

I instantly started pushing on him and struggling to get free. I bit his lip and he howled in pain and jerked back. I slapped him across the face, not caring this was Rafe Cameron, Kook Prince himself, and no one ever told him no.

He snapped his head back and I looked in his eyes. They were completely black, no amount of blue left, and had a predatory look that actually caused a little fear to creep up my spine. Something else, God help me, arousal shot through to my core and made me soak my panties.

I started to back away and with each step I took back, he took forward.

“Rafe just fucking walk away, leave me alone” I try to sound defiant and flippant, but not sure I pulled it off. His grin was pure evil, reminding me of every Disney villain I ever watched.

*Oh Sunshine, you really shouldn’t have done that” he smirked. I turn to run and get one of the pogues, but he grabs me by my waist and turns me around to throw me over his shoulder.

“You psychotic motherfucker, put me down!” I yell as I punch his back as hard as I can. He just grunts and slaps my ass hard, bringing tears to my eyes and more arousal to leak out of me. My mind was telling me to fight because you hate him, but my body was yelling at me to let him have his way.

He takes you to some room, locks the door, and proceeds to throw you on the bed. He immediately grabs both your wrists and roughly jerks them above your head, causing you to arch your back from the roughness and your tits rub against his chest. The lace bra you wear offered little protection from the friction and instantly your nipples hardened. Rafe chuckles as his free hand rubs over my breasts and pinches my nipples.

“You may not want this, but your body does” he chuckles as his hand slides down over my stomach and to the waistband of my shorts. I continue to struggle, he slaps my bare thigh, causing me to gasp. I know if I looked down right now, there would be a red hand print.

“You’re a feisty thing, maybe we should get you a little more pliant.” He threatens.

I see him reach in the pocket of his shorts, but don’t see anything in his hand when he pulls it out.

“Rafe, what the fuck are you doing?” I demand trying to keep the worry out of my voice.

“Just a little something to make you enjoy it more.” He smirks as he places a pill on his tongue and grabs my jaw to look at him.

“Open up, Sunshine” he murmurs as leans in to kiss me.

I try to shut my mouth, but the hold he has on my jaw won’t let me. He shoves his tongue in my mouth and I feel the pill begin to dissolve as he devours my mouth. God he is a good kisser, I can’t stop myself as I whine in the kiss, causing him to moan. He held my jaw until the pill was fully dissolved, then he lets go, but we continued to kiss. Fuck, what was I doing, this was Rafe, I should be biting his fucking tongue off, yet I didn’t want the kiss to stop. He finally pulls away when air became a necessity.

“What the fuck did you give me, Rafe?” I pant, still trying to catch my breath from the kiss.

“Aww Sunshine, it’s just a little E to make you forget your troubles and help me fuck you without the feistiness.” He smiles down at me. I start to struggle again and hurt him in some fashion. His hold on my wrists and him between my legs really left me defenseless, and he knew it.

“Now let’s get rid of these clothes.” He grabs the neckline of my shirt and rips it down the middle. I screech from shock, and he continues ripping till it is off me.

“Oh Sunshine, you have some beautiful tits.” He groans as he leans down and latches his lips on one of my nipples. I gasp out from pleasure as he sucks, nibbles and licks my nipples through my bra. Thousands of jolts of delight ripple through my body to my core. I began to feel a zing of energy and mixing that with pleasure, I couldn’t stop myself from grinding my hips up into Rafe.

“That’s it baby, let the drug begin to work. Let me make you feel good and forget Maybank for tonight.” He murmurs as he continues his assault on my tits, his mouth on one and his hand, pulling and pinching the other.

“More” I whimper to him, trying to get more friction. He reached behind me undoing my bra and let go of my wrists, I moved my arms so he can get off. My hands fly into his hair to push more into my chest. He grinds down on me and I groan, I feel the heat build in my stomach.

I have a slight moment of clarity, where I thought what the fuck am I doing, when Rafe rolls his hips and the tip of cock hits the seam in my shorts just right to rub my clit and I see stars. I moan out as I squeeze my eyes shut and let my orgasm wash over me.

“Fuck Sunshine, when was the last time you came?” he chuckles, reaching down to unbutton my shorts and take them off. He stands up, using the opportunity of me in a blissful state, to rid himself of his clothes. I look over to him and see his cock saluting me. My eyes wide at how big he was.

“Shit Rafe, I don’t know what you plan to do with that monstrosity, but it ain’t fitting in me.” I say in wonder.

“I’ll make it fit,” he said as he spread my legs and slapped my pussy. I yelped, still sensitive from my release, but it caused a wildfire to spread through my veins. He slapped it a few more times, rendering me a whiny mess. I tried to hide my face, ashamed at how he was making me feel. I knew the E was mainly to blame, but a part of me knew it wasn’t all the drugs.

“Oh, don’t be shy now” Rafe taunted as he pulled my hands from face and roughly kissing me.

Distracted by his kiss, I didn’t notice he lined his cock up to enter me. He shoved it in my soaked pussy and I screamed in his mouth. The pain and burn from his stretching without prep was almost unbearable. Instantly, tears formed in my eyes and I pulled my mouth free.

“FUCK!” I cried out “Rafe, get out, pull out, it hurts so bad!” I cry but he continues to snap his hips into me, even though I was pushing on his stomach.

“Shut the fuck up and take it.” He growled as he grabbed my arm and jerked it above my head, slamming into me faster. I was whimpering, crying mess underneath him. He continued to pound into me, hitting my cervix, lips taking what they wanted from my lips down to my breasts.

“I’ll have you forgetting Maybank after tonight and you’ll only want my cock in this pussy. You’re mine now, Sunshine” he rasped in my ear.

“I hate you” I hissed at him.

Eventually the pain began to be replaced by pleasure, my cries turning into moans as I felt my core heat up and the band began to tighten.

“You keep saying that, but your body doesn’t,” he taunted “you might be venomous, nonchalant, and a raging bitch to the rest of the world, but all you needed was a Daddy to tame that mouth and this pussy. Didn’t you?”

I ignored him, not wanting to agree with him. Suddenly I heard and then felt the smack across my face. I let out a shocked yelp and grabbed face with my free hand. My body betrayed and a rush of arousal coated his cock.

“Oh, you like being slapped huh? When I ask you a question, you answer it, slut” he hissed at me.

“Yes Daddy” I moaned out, before slapping my hand over my mouth, not believing what I just said.

“That’s my good little slut” he teased.

He let go of my hand and reached down with both hands to push my thighs into my chest. I cried out as the new position hit my G-spot and I saw stars. Within seconds, the band snapped in my stomach and I was screaming daddy repeatedly.

“That’s it, you little cunt, cum all over my cock.” He grunted before pulling out and flipping me over on my stomach. He straddled my thighs, pulled my butt up, and shoved himself back into me. I moaned as the new position let him hit deeper. I grabbed the headboard needing to ground myself, as the drugs and orgasm made me feel like I was floating away.

He wrapped his arm around my neck, putting me in a chokehold, snapping his hips into me at such an ungodly pace. I could already feel another release coming. The drugs had all my senses turned up to an eleven, the burning in my stomach, the tingling in my core, the pleasurable pain every time he hit my cervix. I felt that if I had another orgasm, I would fly off into outer space.

“S’too much, daddy” I whine, trying to push on his stomach. “I can’t do it”

He slapped my hand away and smacked my thigh hard, making me cry out.

“You will take everything I give you. You’re my little cum slut now and you will obey me” he grunted. He grabs my arm and jerks them around behind my back, grabbing both wrists with one hand. With his other hand, he grabs hair and uses both as leverage to fuck me harder.

All you could hear in the room were my ‘uh-uhs’ and our skin slapping together. I was close as my walls begin to flutter around his cock, but he was too as I felt his hips stutter.

“You better cum before me or you’re outta luck,” he panted. “We’re not here for your pleasure, only mine.” He taunts as he speeds up getting closer to his release.

I manage to wrestle one of my hands free and reach down to rub my clit. The added stimulation almost instantly makes me fall over the edge, I scream out and clamp down on Rafe’s dick. My body convulses as I have the strongest release of my life, but the E in my system causes me to keep cumming tears falling down my cheeks as I can’t stop.

“Jesus Fuck” Rafe gasps, “You’re clenching so tight I can barely move.”

He forces his cock in and out of me as he pants and grunts. Slamming into me one more time, I feel his seed shoot out against my walls.

“fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck” he hisses. He slowly thrust back into me a few times before pulling out and flip me over. I was essentially a rag doll by this point.

“Oops can’t have any Daddy’s juices spilling out can we?” he smirks, shoving two fingers in me pushing his cum back in me. I whimpered and grabbed his wrist.

“Stop, too sensitive” I whimper out.

“Stop being a whiny slut” he sneers before slapping my pussy a few times. I cry out, tears running down my cheeks. He reaches for his phone and takes a picture of me.

“What the fuck” I snap.

“I need something to jerk off to when you’re not around”

He shows me the picture. I look royally fucked out, mascara and tears running down my cheeks, lipstick smeared all over my face, bruises and hickeys around my neck and chest. He grabs my phone and tosses it to me.

��Unlock it” he demands.

I do without any argument. He puts his number on and sends himself a text, so that he has my number.

“When I call, I expect you to answer and come to me” he demands coldly. “If you don’t, then the whole island will know your just my cum slut and enjoy it. I have evidence.” he grins.

I nod, knowing he had me, because the thought of the pogues, especially JJ finding out made me sick to my stomach. He tossed my shorts and some tshirt he found to me.

“Now you’re gonna get dressed, go back to the party and act like nothing happened. Your hickeys were from some random touran.” He instructed. “The whole time you pine over JJ, my cum will be seeping out of your cunt. Oh, and clean your face up.”

I move slowly getting off the bed. I get dressed and head to the en suite bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror and start to cry. I splash water on my face, cleaning myself up, the whole-time sobbing.

Rafe comes in the bathroom and stares at me for a minute. I turn to face him and he smacks me on the cheek, not hard enough to bruise, but enough to sting and leave his handprint.

“Stop crying like a cunt,” he mocked me, “You enjoyed it, I think I counted three orgasms from you?”

“It was the drugs” I argue.

“Sure, sure. The explain why you were soaked before I gave you the E?” he asked.

I’m looked away cause I had no answer, at least not one I was willing to admit.

“S’what I thought,” he smirked “Now get downstairs, before I change my mind and take you home, tie you up, and use you all night.”

I ran out of the bedroom and went downstairs, looking for my friends.

Walking around, I finally found John B and Sarah making out in a corner. Pope was in another room trying to woo a girl with coroner talk, the poor girl looked scared for her life. The last room I walked into, JJ and Kie were on a couch, Kie in JJ’s lap making out. My friends, wait no family, didn’t seem to have missed me.

I walked into the kitchen and made me a drink and walked outside to one of the patio chairs. My phone dinged with a message.

Remember our deal and no one finds out. Although with as worried as they were for you, not sure they would seem to care.

I downed my drink and got up to get another one, tears running down my cheeks.

How the fuck did I get in this situation and what was I gonna do. All knew was I hated Rafe Cameron and I would find a way out.

Tagging some moots:

@princessmaybank @echo-at-the-pond @babygorewhore @drudyslut @rafescokewhore @rafesc0kewh0re @starfxkr @blueicequeen19 @drewstarkeyslut @pankowperfection @maybankskiss @ch4rrykisses

[blackynsupremacy]

THE GLAMOROUS

LIFE

boys with small talk and small minds

really don't impress me in bed

she said, "i need a man's man, baby"

diamonds and furs

love would only conquer my head

pairing: nicholas chavez x black!fem!reader

also starring: cooper koch and normani as valerie

read: part two

summary: it’s the year 1987. you and your best friend, valerie, are rising college graduates and are part of one of the most affluent african american families of the decade. yachts, designer fashion, handsome yuppies, diamonds, and grand soirées all sound like a ball, but to you, it’s so predictable. especially when it comes to dating. your not-so-friendly personality underneath all of that designer tends to be men repellent, until this one double date valerie sets up with a renowned tennis player and promising law student shifts your entire perspective.

inspo: fresh prince of bel-air, 1x19. cred to @fear-is-truth for the idea of an 80s au.

contains: lots of words, eighties au, reader is a bit toxic, yuppie culture, swearing, rudeness, alcohol consumption, arguing, nicholas gets reader together, enemies to lovers, fluff.

tags: @sabrinasopposite @supaprettyg @camiesully @zombigrlll @ellethespaceunicorn @rosiestalez @afrogirl3005 @afrowrites @elitesanjisimp @jkr820 @simply-the-best23 @gxuxhdjdu @tryingtograspctrl

“valerie, for the love of god, don’t make me go on this date. i swear on daddy’s credit card that i can get you backstage passes for the bad tour. hell, i’ll even let you get with michael if it would change your mind. just please don’t make go on this double date.”

you groan and plead while watching your best friend since birth, valerie hill, primp herself at her pristine, white vanity for a night on the town. she had a date with this tennis player named, cooper koch. apparently he was so talented in the sport, that he was well on his way to the olympics within the next year. valerie mentioned that he was bringing his friend, nicholas. she didn’t really ask about him, what he did, nor if you were down for the double date, so you were practically forced into this. you both were the heiresses of the richest black families in the nation, so going out on dates to the most exclusive and expensive restaurants with the richest bachelors were the norm for you both. for you, the norm was getting so damn predictable. all of the guys you’ve dated in the past only care about two things: getting paid and getting laid. it was enjoyable at first, but as you grew older, you realized that life shouldn’t just be about drugs, money, and sex. it should have some sort of substance, some depth, some purpose. these guys never challenged you. they talk a big game with their cars and lavish spending, but it’s all a load of materialistic bullshit. each time you give them a chance, it’s like you want to put a combination lock on your pussy and forget the numbers. that’s the energy you give out: cold, distant, snarky, rude, anything to get these yuppie ass wannabe’s out of your face.

but here you were, already showered and clad in a cream satin robe with curlers in your hair. valerie was the popular one out of you both. besides studying to take over the family business, she was a model. her face would be on commercials, billboards, and magazines. it’s no wonder why she had a line of men begging to breathe the same oxygen as her. you were studying business as well and in your free time, you would compose new masterpieces on the grand piano you were gifted when you were fifteen after perfecting the instrument since kindergarten. even with the pressure of performances, recitals, and competitions, you grew to love writing a new piece in different styles. your idols consisted of stevie wonder and quincy jones. your parents never really knew, but you were so lucky to have valerie be a support system for your passion.

your inner turmoil was interrupted at the ring of valerie’s telephone to which she picked up and answered with the customary “hello”. your brown eyes peer at her figure as your ears tune into the conversation she’s having.

“hello?… oh, hey, cooper!…uh-huh. yeah, i can’t wait either…oh, is he? well, she’s definitely looking forward to meeting him.” valerie pauses to cut her eyes at you, in which you respond with the rolling of your own.

“okay…yes, three eighty five willard lane is correct. i’ve already told the guard at the gate your names, so just give it to him and you should be good to go. thirty minutes? okay…see you then! ciao for now!” valerie blows a kiss to the receiver with a smile on her made up face and hangs the phone up. she turns to you with those alluring deep, brown eyes that’s captivated so many hearts. with a huff of her breath, she stands up from the vanity stool and saunters over to you, donning a long hot pink sleeveless evening dress that hugged her body just right. it was cut low with diamond straps paired with matching pink opera gloves and an assortment of genuine diamond jewelry that was adorned on her ears, fingers, neck, and wrists. you feel her palms on your shoulders and she gives you a knowing glance.

“i know that you’ve been burned before, but for some odd reason, i got a feeling down in my gut that this guy is exactly what you’ve been looking for. if he’s not what you expect within an hour, we can go home.”

“no bullshit?” you questioned with an arched brow.

“no bullshit, but please try not to have that stank ass attitude at dinner tonight, y/n!”

“i might bullshit on that, valerie. you know when i hear something stupid, my attitude can’t help it. i’ll try for you though! not my best, but i’ll try.”

you retort with a smirk and release yourself from a giggling valerie. you take the last thirty minutes to get ready. you don your white, shimmery strapless evening dress with matching fingerless opera gloves. you perfect your hair and makeup to your liking. to say you looked beautiful tonight was an understatement. you bashfully receive the encouraging compliments from valerie in which you reciprocate the kindness. there’s a knock on the bedroom door and valerie opens it to reveal one of the maids, letting you know that there are two gentlemen in the foyer waiting. your stomach starts to rumble with dread, but then it serves to your memory that you only have to give this man an hour of your time if he’s not up to par, so fuck it, just get it over with.

“ah, shit. is it too late to take back what i said about michael jackson?” you curse under your breath, rolling your eyes slightly.

valerie nudges you playfully, her excitement buzzing in the air, but still some annoyance towards your irritability. “girl, don’t start. they just got here, damn! you’ll never know, you might end up diggin’ on him when the night is over. now haul ass!”

you suck your teeth and quietly retort, “diggin’ my ass.”

you grab your fur boas and designer clutch handbags. valerie takes the lead and you exit her bedroom to descend down the marble staircase of the hill manor. you keep your head down to watch your step, but then you hear a male voice circulating in the room.

“wow, you guys look absolutely stunning. the talk around town certainly don’t do you ladies any justice. pardon my language, but i’d tell those shit-heads to eat every word.”

“oh, my. why, thank you, cooper! you didn’t have to get the flowers, you know.” valerie responds with an elated smile.

you look up to see two handsome, strapping young men in finely tailored suits with one of their hands casually stuffed in the pocket and each with a bouquet of red roses in the other. they were caucasian and stood tall in the six foot one range with dark brown hair. one had curly hair, the other straight. one had brown eyes, the other had green. as valerie scurries down the rest of the stairs to greet the curly haired green eyed suitor with an embrace and peck to his cheeks to graciously receive her roses, you were still a bit reluctant to move any further down the staircase. you swallowed and you slowly follow her path, your sweaty palm smooths your dress down your waist before approaching the man with the scrutinizing, yet amicable brown gaze. you’ve been all too familiar with this look before. that’s how they ease you in. to keep your end of the bargain, you simply flash your award winning smile when he guides the bouquet in your direction with a casual grin on his lips.

“i’m nicholas. nicholas chavez. you must be valerie’s friend—uh, y/n l/n, right? i have to say i agree with cooper here. you look absolutely gorgeous and it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance. these are for you. may i?” he greets with such an air of politeness. well, all of the guys have to with their background before they show their true colors.

“roses? cute. original. sure.” you somewhat dryly respond. you thanked him and took the bouquet in one hand and gave your free hand to his for him to place his lips on the back, your stomach fluttered and your cheeks heated when his eyes nor lips didn’t pull away from you for a second. you pull your hand back before things got too awkward. after valerie calls the maid to put the flowers in a vase of water, she’s already walking out the door on cooper’s arm, leaving you and nicholas standing alone in the foyer. he turns his large frame to yours and juts his elbow out towards you,

“shall we? we don’t want to lose the reservation.” he quips with a smirk. so insufferable! typical yuppie. with a tight lipped grin, you nod and your hand circles around his—bulging bicep. well, fuck! nicholas was indeed jacked. you don’t let the tingles of your lower region let your guard down though.

“mm-hmm. i guess we shouldn’t keep them waiting.” you and him step out into the starlit evening and you stop noticing two cars, one red ferrari f40 and a black chevrolet corvette. wait a fucking minute. why the hell are there two cars? you could’ve sworn that valerie said that all four of you were taking a limousine. nicholas led you to the ferrari, while cooper led valerie to the corvette. before they could go any further, you took your hand from nicholas’ arm and called out valerie’s name in a faux friendly tone and smile.

“i apologize, fellas, but valerie, a word?” you hastily ask cutting your eyes to your best friend that protested by standing closer to cooper.

“but, y/n, we’re gonna be la—” you cut her short by taking her hand and scurrying a few feet from your dates, so they couldn’t hear your griping.

“valerie, you sneaky ass skank! you told me we were taking a limo. you ain’t said nothing about going in two separate cars! what the fuck are you trying to do!?” you hiss in a whispered tone, you were hotter than a firecracker. dumbfounded, your best friend responds with a shrug and glanced over to the confused men, sending them a wave with an embarrassed smile before shifting her focus back to you.

“girl, i didn’t know either. i guess cooper changed his mind about it before he left! i’m not mad about it though. this is our chance to get to know them one on one. i might even get lucky tonight, honey! besides, i don’t need you to scare off your and my date. ride with nicholas and don’t be fucking rude. just give him an hour. you promised.”

“not exactly.” you deadpanned.

“y/n!” she hissed in the lowest, yet sharpest warning tone.

“ugh. fine, i’ll ride with him. i’ll be—civil.”

“perfect. now let’s get our fine asses wined and dined.”

you both hurriedly walked back nicholas and cooper. like the gentlemen they were, they opened the passenger doors for you and valerie to enter their respective vehicles and buckle up. cooper and nicholas agreed to having cooper lead the way to the restaurant while nicholas followed behind. once they entered the driver’s seats, you four made your journey. you and nicholas didn’t ride in complete silence. the radio was filling the car with phil collins’ “in the air tonight” faintly in the background. nicholas eyes glanced over to your figure briefly. you sat in the passenger seat, one hand in your lap, the other propped up on the door as you looked out at the glistening city lights through the window, not uttering a single word. you seemed so cold. was it something he did? something he said? what he said earlier wasn’t really bullshit though. nicholas has encountered his share of women who were forgettable after a night of passion, but he honest to god thought that you were a breathtakingly beautiful woman with the world at her fingertips. he’d think you’d share the same sentiment as he did, but given your bored expression, perhaps not. he took the opportunity to turn the volume knob to the left to make room for small talk. nicholas clears his throat as he slightly grips the steering wheel, his eyes focusing on the road as he trails behind cooper.

“so, uh, tell me, y/n. cooper has told me that you and valerie are studying business. i assume that’s going well.”

you sigh at hearing the “b” word. it felt like such a curse. your head hurts at the very mention. you muster up an answer that’s right to the point.

“yeah, i better be or i’ll bring the greatest shame to the l/n family, so i suggest you shouldn’t assume, nicholas.” you retort dryly, gazing at your rose red manicured nails. nicholas felt a twinge of a tingling pain in his stomach. it’s almost eighty degrees out, but it just got to thirty in here. talk about a cold shoulder.

“i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to pry or make you uncomfortable. i was just trying to make conversation considering it’s a da—” you cut him short.

“i know how a date works, man. what are you? a prosecutor trying to present to me the evidence of exhibit obvious?”

“matter of fact, i am, well— studying to be. i’m in the pre-law and criminology program at my university. just like you, it’s in my bloodline.”

“oh, well. i guess it’s a change from all the guys i’ve met. they’re always waiting for their folks to kick the bucket or step down, so they could inherit a position of power that’s worth twenty years of work, but get it because they were born. they’ll spend a shit load of money and the body’s not even cold yet.”

“woah—wow. i’ve never seen it in that perspective, especially not from an heiress like yourself.” nicholas’ brows furrowed and he exasperatedly whistled.

“wow indeed, nicholas. it’s a goddamn shame. what the hell does me being an heiress got to do with it, huh?” you quiz defensively, cutting your eyes to the male. nicholas takes a deep breath and combats with a firm and calm voice,

“hey, there’s no need to get defensive, y/n. i’m just saying most people from families like ours don’t typically share the same thought as you nor care—i believe it’s an interesting perspective, not a bad one, so i don’t blame you for believing that money could easily sway someone’s morals.”

“hm.” that’s all you could respond with and you returned your gaze to the window sitting in deep thought. who the hell did nicholas chavez think he was? why isn’t he combating you with the benefits of all that luxury? did this man just—sympathize with you? something was definitely up with nicholas and not to mention, you were being a bit of a bitch towards him and he was still holding a civil conversation with you. there had to be a narcissistic, egotistical bratty yuppie prick underneath that calm and collected gentleman-like demeanor. you had a scheme: you were gonna push that limit to make sure that asshole makes an appearance at that restaurant.

the guys smoothly pull up to the entrance where the security and valet are standing. they get out of their cars to open the doors for you and valerie before handing their keys and a handsome tip to the valet to get their cars parked. you gazed up at the illuminating skyscraper of the restaurant before you. THE OPULENT HAVEN flashed itself so vibrantly in the city that even the stars had some competition. it was hypnotic to say the least. you stop your gawking when you feel a large palm rest itself on the small of your spine. your brown eyes lean up to see the familiar pair of nicholas’, a grin playing across his chiseled face.

“i take it by the way you’re staring that this is your first time here. breathtaking, isn’t it?” he softly whispers in awe with a matching expression towards the structure. you inwardly groan as your stomach does that thing again. here he goes with this fake prince charming, nice guy act. who was he to assume that you haven’t been here? you’re y/n fucking l/n for god’s sake! oh, who the hell were you kidding? this was your first time at this place and it looked like a palace. you didn’t want to let him know that though. he’s probably been here a thousand times with a myriad of women. you never forgot your scheme to release the animal within him, so you smirk with a quirked brow in his direction before you shot back in the same whispered voice,

“and who are you to assume that i haven’t been here? it just looks very elegant, nothing more. you’re acting as if i’m a damn tourist to these kinds of establishments.”

“it’s not my intention to assume, y/n. i’ve just noticed that you could see and appreciate the beauty in this building like i do. if it makes you feel any better, this is just my second time around. you don’t have to be so guarded, you know? now, let’s get inside before our party leaves us behind. after you.” he gives you a once over to the see through revolving doors where cooper and valerie are standing at the hostess’ station awaiting your arrival.

“whatever.” you grumble under your breath, rolling your eyes.

“i beg your pardon?”

“nothing—let’s just get inside.”

with a silent nod and his hand still on your back, he takes the lead for you to meet with the other two. the hostess guides you all to your table and it wasn’t long before a waiter arrived. cooper takes the initiative to request the restaurant’s finest merlot, water, shrimp cocktails, and pâté as the starting course of the evening. when the server returns again, you all agree to settle on the main course of the beef wellington and lobster thermidor, and topping it off with the crème brûlée. cooper and valerie start to break the ice with everyone at the table. you sat with your eyes down at your purse and courtly spoke whenever spoken to without getting caught peering at the ticking clock every once in a while. who knew that a fucking hour would take a lifetime? it also didn’t help that when valerie was in her own world with her precious koch boy, nicholas tried every way possible to get you to open up and with every attempt, you respond to him with such a snarky and dismissive attitude. valerie tries her best to paint you as a decent human being to the best of her ability because she really likes cooper and the last thing she needed is you scaring him off because you’re pissed at her.

“so, nicholas! do you like music? y/n sure does. i bet you didn’t know that she’s very talented at the grand piano and has been doing performances and competitions when we coming up! she even dabbles in a bit of composing.” valerie chimed, gesturing her gloved hand in your direction like you were an exhibit on display.

“yeah, i love music and that’s actually really cool, y/n. how long have you been playing for?”

“since i was five. you’re about to be a top shit lawyer, right? you do the math and get the facts.” you retort as you take a sip of wine. valerie rolls her eyes and hisses your name as cooper places a hand on hers. his forest eyes giving her the reassuring look of “let it go”. cooper knew exactly what you were doing and as his best friend, he knew that nicholas’ politeness could only be pushed so far, they all just had to wait and see it all come to a head. after your response, you noticed how nicholas clenched his jaw, cleared his throat, and his composed expression returns with a tight lipped smile. what is this guy’s deal? where’s his backbone? he’s just like the rest of these sorry ass yuppie motherfuckers.

“shot in the dark, here. seventeen years?”

“ding, ding, ding! we got a winner!” you sarcastically cheered with a toast of your wine glass.

“that’s impressive. you must be really passionate about it. what type of styles do you typically play? classical? baroque? romantic? maybe jazz?” he leans back casually in his seat awaiting your answer. you were quite surprised that a pre-law student had such a knowledge in that area.

“anything that sounds good to my ears.” you announce with an air of confidence and shrug your shoulders. there was no utterance of a thank you, not nothing. you were gonna make sure this plan to expose him for who he truly is doesn’t all go to hell. it was pissing you off that with every brash comment you made, he would kill you with cordiality.

it was pissing you off so much that even the server was catching stray bullets from you.

“excuse me, would you tell whoever the hell prepared this dish to please remake this? there’s no way this was right because i’ve had better at a fucking cheesecake factory.” the server stood with such timidity and tried plead their case on behalf of the chef.

“ma’am, we understand your concern, but i assure that the head chef has made it—“

“wait a minute, you’re telling me this is the work of your head chef? well, i guess it’s time for him to head back to culinary school because this is fucking terrible. this is ALL terrible!” your voice rose with frustration as you throw your lap cloth down on the table like a child having a tantrum and stood from your chair with your arms firmly crossed. all you could think was fuck this restaurant, fuck this date, fuck valerie, and fuck nicholas for foiling your plan. before you could bitch and berate any further, nicholas also stood up from his chair. “wait, nicholas, don’t—”, valerie tried to open her mouth to protest and deescalate the situation, but cooper gently grabbed her wrist, shaking his head to let valerie know that nicholas had this. she just needed to watch. he was composed, but he held a perfect posture with his chest was puffed up, he kept his hands flat at his side, and he looked at you with such contempt, such disappointment, before his baritone voice dominated the room.

“no, valerie, this is not okay. i’m sorry, but i’ve got to get this off my chest.” he paused. his serious, deep gaze not pulling from your curious eyes before he resumes speaking, “y/n, your behavior this whole night was completely inappropriate and unacceptable. i’m not exactly sure what your problem is with me, but i’ve done nothing, but try to be civil. i don’t know what type of guy you may think i am, but where i come from, manners and decorum count a lot wherever and to whoever, so i can’t just sit back and let your nasty, smart-ass attitude continue. you owe every single one of us an apology, especially to that poor server. now, if you refuse, we’ll take you back home and continue the night without you. do i make myself clear?”

you stood there silently, still trying to keep your guard up, but the muscles of your crossed arms loosened. the furrow of your perfectly arched brows softened and a small smile crept on your painted lips while you listen to nicholas chavez set you, y/n l/n, in her rightful place. he was respectfully getting you all the way together and boy, did you get such a titillating rush from how he was so assertive yet, still had that integrity. he was exactly the type of man you’ve been craving for in your circle. the type of man that wasn’t afraid to stand up for what’s right no matter how many times he’s given the benefit of the doubt. he’d make one hell of a lawyer. it was like you were seeing stars when his eyes bore into yours, awaiting an answer. you were so stuck in staring at him, his colossal frame stepped forward to be in closer proximity to yours. the warm chocolate hue of his pupils turn darker as they continue to stare down into your own. nicholas takes the opportunity to repeat his question with an added firmness, considering he didn’t get an answer the first time.

“y/n, do i make myself clear?”

you swallow.

“yes, nicholas.”

you were so entrapped in his softening gaze when you gave in. valerie sat in awe and confusion as she witnessed you humbly apologize to everyone for your behavior, including the server and the night went on pleasantly. plus, you decided to give nicholas more than an hour, you decided to give him a chance. there was something about him that had some potential you craved to see more of. you weren’t always the one to get second dates, but as you attentively indulge in amicable conversation with him, you’d hope you were redeemed enough to get that chance to see nicholas again. alone. although you hated him less, he was still a fine specimen of a man. he gave you a sense of warmth. that warm feeling didn’t leave when he drove you home after dinner. it didn’t leave when he walked you to the door. it sure as hell didn’t leave when he bid you a sweet goodnight with another lingering kiss to your hand. the image of his beautifully sculpted countenance burned deep within your brain. nicholas was even the type of guy that made sure you entered your home first before disappearing into the night. a regular yuppie asshole would speed off as soon as you closed his car door. your heart pounded within your chest as you stared at the ceiling while immersed in your satin rose duvet. every single shitty word you’ve ever said and every judgmental thought you’ve had towards nicholas alexander chavez was immediately transformed into immense respect and burning desire.

[summerscaries]

OK a bit of a different take on the "I'm piano and you're forte. You're allegro, I'm andante. We're boléro, prostitué." It's obviously a big metaphor and here's what I think is going on (I'm not a musician I'm so sorry if these terms are bullshit):

Piano and Forte: Piano is soft, forte is loud. These terms refer to styles of playing but also make up the word for the instrument itself, pianoforte, two sides of the same coin-both needed to be able to play a song.

Allegro and Andante: Andante refers to a tempo of a walking pace 76–108 bpm, Allegro is faster 120–168 bpm "quick" and "bright." I think this is less about how these tempos symbolize Louis and Lestat and more about how they're drastically different and don't seem to match up. Specifically to go into the following line talking about...

Boléro: With the accented e, boléro seems to be specifically referring to the orchestral piece by Maurice Ravel from 1928. I think it's likely this is the reference due to the date falling within Loustat's marriage and, the main thing, the two opposing tempos of the piece! The backing track is faster than the main melody, calling back to that allegro and andante line. This piece is also widely considered to be Ravel's masterwork and is a very well-known composition.

Prostitué: Lestat thinks that they're opposites not just in temperament but also in bed, and the matching of their oppositions works just as well sexually as it does in life.

The whole verse is basically saying, "We're different and that should mean we clash, but take a look at this example of how we work so well! We're opposites but we slot together to make a perfect whole."

[princessmaybank]

Roomate!JJ fucking reader before her date...that's it

Perfect

Pairings: Sweet!Roommate!JJ x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Oral (fem. receiving), spit, p in v, swallowing, etc.

Summary: Read the ask^^

Author's Note: This one is a little short and I'm sorry it took so long @everydaydreamer 🩷

"Really? Topper?!" I stomped into the room watching her put her dangly earrings in. She was driving me mad wearing that skin tight, deep red, silk, dress. "Yes! I don't see the problem JJ!" She yelled back at me, damn she was feisty. "Don't see the problem? Topper is fuckin' crazy Y/N!" I shouted. "No crazier than you!" She picked up her handbag and started to leave the room.

Before she could make it past the doorframe I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back to me. Her front pressed against mine. She looked scared for a moment. I nearly forgot I was still holding onto her arm until she reminded me. "Let go! You're hurting me Jay." She was really upset, that wasn't my goal. My hand left her arm but before she could run, my arm snaked around her waist.

Her heart was telling her to stay no matter how hard her body wanted to fight that response. For a moment I looked into her eyes and I saw a glimmer of what I think was lust.

"D-don't go.." I muttered. Her eyes trapped mine, dancing back and forth between the ideas of staying and fleeing. I was praying to God that the latter would lose.

"H-he's waiting for me right outside." Her eyes never left mine. I knew she wanted this too. All this back and forth 'fake' flirting bullshit. I couldn't stand seeing her leave this house with another man.

"Topper can wait." I pressed a deep kiss into her lips causing her to gasp but she leaned into it. I walked us toward her bed and laid her down on it. Our lips tangled together as our hands rushed to touch every part we could of the other.

"Topper isn't going to worship you how I'm about to Y/N. No man ever will." I said stepping off of the bed and crouching in between her legs. "Jay..." I silenced her when my lips met the inside of her thigh. "At least let me call him so I can cancel." She whined. A smirk grazed my lips at the thought of her calling him. "Sure sweetie, but I'm not stopping." I continued my kisses, getting closer to her heat.

She let out another whine as she picked up her phone and called Topper. My hands found her lace panties and pulled them down. Anger boiled in my veins when I realized she had worn them for him. The line was still ringing when I gave her pussy a smack. A small punishment for dressing for him. "Hey Y/N I'm outside, are you ready?" I heard his painfully stupid voice come through the phone.

I rolled my eyes but licked a stripe up her pussy to distract her. The sound of her hiss let me know it worked. "H-heyyy..." My tongue gave her a few long licks before sliding inside her drenched hole. "T-Topp.." was all she could manage.

Poor thing.

"Y/N are you okay?" I heard him ask. As if he cared, he just wanted to fuck her then throw her to the side. I lightly bit down on her clit causing a moan to escape her lips. "N-no! I need to caaancel our da-te." My tongue played with her clit and my middle finger found her hole.

"Why what's wrong, do you need help?" Man was he stupid. Can't even tell what a woman sounds like on the brink of an orgasm.

"NO! I-I don't feel..." I sucked on her clit and bounced my finger on her g-spot. "SO GOOD..." she arched her back while humping my face and finger.

I don't even know what Topper was muttering when I reached over and clicked 'end call'. "Aww you didn't have to cancel your plans for lil ol' me..." I said in a cute little country accent. Y/N rolled her eyes with a breathy laugh.

"Come here." She pulled me up and onto her so I was hovering. I brought my lips to hers and it got heated quickly. Our clothes were on the floor in a matter of seconds and our bodies rubbed together as our lips danced.

Y/N pushed me onto my knees and before I could ask why she spit on my dick and rubbed it around so every part was wet. She got back in her position and lined me up with her entrance. "Ya sure?" I looked up at her. She nodded with approval before yanking me closer to her. I couldn't help the small chuckle that came out.

When we were finally comfortable I pushed my tip in with a small gasp from both of us. I inched myself in every so often letting her adjust to my size. "Jay...please.." She whined. I couldn't wait any longer either so I slammed the rest of my length inside of her before pulling out and going in again.

My pace was fast but I made sure to take care of her. I moved a strand of hair out of her face before cupping her cheek and looking down at her. Her eyes were screwed shut and her mouth was wide open. She is so beautiful, I've always known that, but especially like this, taking my cock. "Such a good girl. Wanna open your eyes for me?" I asked gently and watched as she peeled her eyes open. She looked into mine as I jutted deeper into her.

This caused her eyes to roll back and her nails to claw at my back and biceps. She's perfect. "Oh fuck- I'm gonna cum Jay...I'm gonna cum." She moaned, not taking her eyes away from mine. Like I said, perfect. "Mmm shit- cum on me baby.." I groaned picking up the pace. I kissed her forehead, giving her a little motivation. A loud moan of my name came out of her mouth as she released all over my cock.

I worked my dick inside her, riding out her high and chasing mine. I pulled out and fisted my cock. My cum shot out and onto her chest. A few strings of it landed on her face making me feel bad but she looked damn beautiful with my load on her pretty little face. "m'sorry baby.." I chuckled and she did too.

"It's okay..." She used her finger to sweep it into her mouth. "I don't mind." She said after swallowing. Perfect. If I didn't just fucking bust I definitely would've from the sight of her doing that.

Her phone was blowing up with texts when I sat beside her. "Topper is wondering if we could go on a make up date soon." She spoke. "Tell him no." She looked at me confused as I wrapped my arm around her. "You're mine now. Not lettin' ya leave." I smirked and started laughing. She smiled and nodded. Y/N put her phone on the table not worried about responding to him, instead just laying on my chest. "I've been waiting for you Jay. Perfect timing." She sneered with a laugh. She's gonna be the death of me.

[temis-de-leon]

Headcanon:

Is it established in canon that having a relationship with a human is frowned upon in the Devildom? Like, they repeat over and over again how weak we are in comparison, but I don't remember what it's said about relationships.

The brothers don't care about others opinions given how obvious thay are with their affection towards the mc and, as far as I know, the royals mostly care about impropiety.

I have seen a lot of fanfiction depicting the nobles as assholes who only care about the royal bloodline and how Diavolo should date/marry/have a child with someone with a similar status.

You know what I think? Bullshit.

Humans are weak, obviously, and I understand how the entire population of the Devildom doesn't want their next heir to have lesser powers or a shorter lifespan. Diavolo probably doesn't want that either.

I headcanon a demonic pregnancy to be harsher and longer. Like, instead of pickles with anchovies you crave blood or even a living fucking creature; and instead of nine months it's two years long. Idk, something like that. I also headcanon that the fetus, once concious enough, can decide whether their parent (female or afab, you get my point) is able to give birth or not. That would probably be a whole ceremony.

A normal human wouldn't survive that. A normal human would probably succumb to physical or/and mental illness.

HOW-E-VER.

OUR MC IS THE BADDEST BITCH ALIVE. Our mc has the attitude and is set to be a powerful sorcerer thanks to Lilith being their great great whatever.

Diavolo's mother died during childbirth and she was probably a pureblooded demon. Can you imagine what the other demons, specially the nobles, would think if the mc, THE UNIT, gave birth to the heir and SURVIVED?

Bitch, they would adore them. They would make a shrine.

Masterlist

[transhuman-priestess]

Sometimes the struggles we go through to be ourselves can be as rewarding as the end result.

A pretty breezy one here. Only content notes are surgery mention and needle mention. No gore to be found, no sex neither. Just good ol' fashioned yearning.

This is definitely a bit of a right angle to my usual stuff. There's no horror, it's light on dialogue, but its in a very similar space to a lot of the other stuff, just a different way of going at it.

Daughter of Elysium

I scheduled the surgery without telling my parents. They wouldn’t understand.

When I came out as trans they were supportive, in perhaps the slightly awkward way that cis people tend to be when they want to be accepting of things they don’t understand. This was different though.

I sat in the waiting room of the clinic in Montevideo, lined with faux wood paneling and sleek glass. Peak 2010s architecture. An older building, but the clinic’s reputation spoke for itself. There was no way I was going to get this procedure done in North America. Too expensive, too niche.

Too many hoops to jump through, too. Go see this doctor, talk to this therapist. Walk with these crutches. Practice with this fake charger for a year. Bullshit, all of it. I just wanted to be me.

So I saved money where I could. I slept in the heat of the Californian summers, kept the lights off early in the winter, rode the train to work, ate cheap meals, canceled all my subscriptions, lived in a 300 sq foot apartment in Watsonville.

3 years and $100,000 Californian Dollars later, I got on a train in Santa Cruz for a 3-day journey to Uruguay.

It was late June, a few days before the solstice. This far south of the equator that meant the sun rose late and set early. It was early morning, a quarter to 7, and 5 hours ahead of California time. I was used to being awake at night, but that only made the early sunrise more disorienting.

“Lewis, Kara,” a thrill of adrenaline rushed through me as the receptionist called my name. After reciting my birthday to confirm my identity, I was taken back to preop. I changed into a surgical gown and then lay down on a gurney while a nurse ran an IV to my arm and started saline. I thought about asking what happened once the arm was removed, but I figured it wasn’t worth the explanation.

For the next 10 minutes I stared at the clock. I hadn’t brought anyone with me. This was something to do for me, by myself. No partner, no friends. I had brought a bag with one change of clothes, my passport, and my phone. I thought about calling my friend Cory, but decided against it. No sense in getting anyone worried. As far as the outside world was concerned, I was on vacation.

I guess that wasn’t too far from the truth.

At 7 sharp, a couple of orderlies came in, checked my name and date of birth, and released the brakes on the gurney. They wheeled me out into the chilled hallway, and through the double doors into the operating room.

Inside the surgeon, the anesthesiologist, and several techs were waiting. A nurse placed a mask on my face and told me to count backwards from ten. A sweet, chemical smell filled my nostrils, and the world faded out.

* * *

It wasn’t the first time I’d had surgery, so the novelty of coming up from the anesthesia surprised me. Rather than the slow, heavy feeling I’d expected, it was like waking up from a nap. Disorienting, but in a cozy way. Nothing hurt. I hadn’t expected that. Probably the painkillers were still feeding in.

I tried to open my eyes, but my lids only twitched slightly. I heard one of the nurses say “You’re awake! The doctor will be in to see you soon. Everything went well, congratulations.”

I tried to reply, but my jaw moved jerkily and I had trouble forming words. The result was a disjointed grunt emerging from my mouth. But I could tell that I had a mouth, which was good.

The nurse left. I could hear his shoes squeaking off into the distance. As they faded, the thrum of the HVAC replaced it, and an occasional mechanical whirring near me. My eyes were still closed, and for the first time I noticed the green letters in the corner of my vision. Instinctively, I tried to look at them, but they moved with my eyes. After a time I was able to make them stay put long enough to look at them.

ARLINGTON ROBOTICS SYSTEMS

BANGOR, WASHINGTON, CASCADE REPUBLIC

I managed to open my eyes after a few minutes. At first it was all much too bright, everything blown to white, but after a few seconds my vision dimmed to a comfortable level. I focused on a tiny hole in the floating ceiling above. After a moment, I managed to zoom my vision in.

I marveled for a time at the detail in the ceiling. This mass-produced object, fiberglass and paper, contained so much beauty. How many times had I stared a ceiling like this without noticing?

The doctor came in and reaffirmed that everything had gone well. She told me that rehab would start in a few days, once my new body’s systems stabilized and adjusted to neural commands. I tried to smile but couldn’t manage to get my face to move right.

The doctor chuckled and plugged a display into a port on the back of my new neck. She held it up to me, and I watched as the words “What is this for?” appeared on it. She explained that until my vocal rehab started to kick in, this display would help me communicate.

She told me to raise my arms out to my sides. I struggled with this task for a moment before finally managing to do so. For the first time I got a look at the body I’d picked out from the inside.

Gray plating, seams that slid over each other, an unapologetically mechanical body. I’d wanted that. They’re getting good at synthetic skin these days, but I wanted to distance myself from humanity. There was nothing wrong with humanity, but it never spoke to me. I’d always been somewhat apart.

* * *

I slept most of that first day. The next day they let me eat. The bioprocessor seemed to be working, the staff said, but I should keep it light, and stick to carbs rather than fat and protein until the new tract could build up a sufficient biome to support those.

Odd as it sounds, it was 36 hours post-op before I realized I hadn’t peed. The charging station that I hooked into took care of filtration and detox of what little biomass I had left. I felt suddenly elated. I actually tried to get up out of bed, and promptly tripped over my own foot, smashing my face against a wall.

The nurses rushed in, worry on their faces, but I couldn’t stop laughing, and that’s when I heard my voice.

It wasn’t like my old voice. It wasn’t cold and computerized, but warm, and rich, like an old Roland Jupiter, full of dense harmonics, singing highs, and comforting, enveloping lows.

Soon I was sitting on the floor, sobbing. My eyes didn’t water anymore, but I still went through the motions. I held my gray plastic hands to my face, and touched them to my cheeks. I felt the subtle vibrations as motors moved my eyes around. I had never felt so happy, so myself. So real.

* * *

After a week I was able to clumsily walk around the hospital room, and they moved me to the recovery house. I met a few other converts there. There was a girl named Morgan from Seattle, a guy named Case from Kansas City, a few others. I mostly kept to myself.

I started speech therapy shortly after the move. Lots of reading convoluted sentences, but also singing, reading poetry, even some play-acting. I grew to love my voice. It was obviously synthetic, but that only made it feel more like a part of me.

Motor therapy was interesting. They asked me if I played any instruments. I told them I played bass. The therapist walked to a closet and returned with a bass made entirely out of carbon fiber. I asked why they made it from that, the therapist told me I’d see shortly, and handed me the Bass.

I immediately gripped the neck with far more force than I’d intended, denting the frets and the strings. I said I understood now.

Time flew. The solstice came and went, and by August I could speak clearly, play “Highway Star,” and wash my own chassis without damaging it. I could dress myself. I could walk without tripping over my feet.

On an evening in early August, I bade farewell to my fellow converts at the recovery house, and made my way to the train station. I could have taken a cab, or the bus, but I opted to walk. It was 8 miles and took all night, but I enjoyed every moment of it. Never tiring, stopping for food to recharge myself here and there at convenience stores and night markets.

I settled into my roomette for the trip back to Santa Cruz, looking out at Montevideo Bay. I saw my reflection in the window of my train, and for the first time, really took it in, with eyes that were my own.

[exhaslo]

Kinktober Day 2- Professor! Kakashi x Nurse!Reader

        It started out harmless enough. The two of you started in the same month, both confused on a few things about the college and had to guide each orher for help. Then it turned into him popping into your office for a nap on one of the beds every now and then to nearly everyday. This has become routine for you. Making sure there was always a spare bed for Kakashi to hide from his work and take a nap on. It seemed harmless. It felt harmless.

        Aside from the gushing crush you had on the man. You and probably every woman in town was head over heels for Kakashi. The man was irresitable. It was a shame that Kakashi had no interest in dating. At least that was the vibe he gave off. No matter how many times you squeezed the thought in, he would just return to his book.

"Oof, what a day." You sighed heavily before looking at the time.

        A light ray of crimson coated your cheeks knowing that Kakashi was about to enter. Prepping the bed by your desk, you tried to compose yourself. You were afraid of ruining your friendship with Kakashi if he ever found out about you crushing over him. Just the thought of him straying away from you hurt.

"Are there children around?" Kakashi asked with a loud yawn as he entered the office. A soft chuckle escaped your lips,

"They're not children, per se, but no. You are free to rant." 

"Good," He plopped himself on the bed, "They kept asking questions while I was trying to read." He mutteted into the pillow.

"You shouldn't be reading if you're supposed to be teaching."

"I was at a good part."

"You're always at a good part," You laughed. Pulling the blanket over him like a child, you bend down to his level, "Perhaps I should borrow that book? You never let go of it."

        Kakashi glanced in your direction. He made eye contact with your (e/c) orbs. They were beautiful. There was the urge to pull you into the bed with him. To engulf you in his embrace. Rolling his head back into the pillow, Kakashi just let you ramble. He didn't want you to see his fluster under his mask. You were never going to read his books. Never.

"Miss (y/n), can you check me, please?" A young man asked. 

        Kakashi grumbled lowly as you hurried to pull the divider to cover him. He could hear the tone the men gave you. He found it both irritating yet cute how ignorant you were. You were oblivious to how all the men drooled over you. He loved it how you always ignored their advances. You were so good at controlling your emotions, expect towards him. Kakashi saw the side of you that you tried to hide. Your cute little fluster that he could only make you do. 

"So (y/n)-"

"Either miss or last name." You corrected the young man. Kakashi turned, wondering where this kid found the balls to call you by your first name.

"I hear you're single-"

"Where were you hurt again?" You asked, trying to do your job.

        Kakashi knew where this was going. It was a good thing he learned the art of bullshit while he was younger. Giving the best fake cough anyone has ever heard, Kakashi groaned as he called for you. It even took you by surprise. Kakashi smiled under his mask as he heard you tell the young man to rest when he got to the dorm. Hearing the door close, Kakashi did another cough. You moved the divider and laughed. That smile should only be for him.

"You're so bad." You said with a bright smile. Kakashi's eyes soften,

"That's not what you say to someone's who is sick."

"Awe, my bad. Let me do a check up then."

--------------

        Neither one of you know how, but somehow the Dean found out about Kakashi's little nap times in your office. She had to give you two a small scolding about professionalism. Kakashi was disappointed and so were you. You were going to miss Kakashi's little visits. It was hard for the two of you to hang out after work due to your different positions. 

        There was one other problem that occurred once the Dean found out. Both students and teachers heard and started to assume things. You had noticed the awkwardness in the air when around the other women. That and a lot of the male students were being quite cold and harsh towards you. It started to hurt. You did nothing wrong, yet it felt like you did.

"Hey, Kakashi, you're not busy, are you?" You asked.

        It was a long day for you. You felt more drained than ever. While your day had finally ended, you knew that Kakashi still had a few hours to go. He was sitting at his desk in the teacher's tower. Each professor got their own room for their work and for students to come and ask for help. You had decided to check on him, wondering how he was handling the change. Kakashi raised his head from his work and motioned you in. You closed the door behind you,

"I was wondering when you'd stop by," Kakashi said softly, watching you take a seat on his couch, "You look tired. Normally that's my look."

"I am tired." You sigh, "It just feels like a lot lately."

"Sounds like you need a nap," Kakashi chuckled as he made his way over to you.

        Your cheeks flustered as Kakashi stood in front of you. He seemed so tall from this angle. A small gasp escaped your lips as he hovered right over you and pressed something under the couch. Within the second, the couch changed into a bed. You yelped as you laid on your back, staring up at Kakashi in shock. He took his mask off, grinning towards you,

"Ordered it five minutes after Tsunade lectured us." He explained, reading your mind. 

"Y-Your mask-" He was gorgeous. Never had anyone seen him without his mask, "W-Why?!"

"Hm? Because you're tired." Was all he said.

        It hadn't occurred to you the position you were in. Kakashi was hovering over your body as you laid beneath him on his bed. Your hair was all over the place and your clothes were ruffled from the sudden shock of laying down. Right now, Kakashi could only see you as a meal in front of him. He tossed his mask aside before heading towards the door. You raised your head as he placed a 'Do Not Disturb' sign and proceeded to lock.

"What are you doing?" You asked as your heart started to race a mile a minute. Kakashi crawled onto the bed beside you,

"I'm about to get a check up from the best nurse on campus," Kakashi pulled you towards him, his lips against yours, "I'm not feeling too well."

        If your face could burn any redder, it would. Kakashi slid you onto his lap and pressed his lips against yours. It was soft, yet so demanding. His hands reached up to tangle themselves against your (h/l) (h/c) hair. There were sparks. Kakashi licked your lips, wanting to test you. There was no questioning what to do. You allowed yourself to fall into his little trap. Kakashi's tongue explored the dampness of your mouth. This was a new tingly feeling that you were enjoying.

          While you were engulfed in the kiss, Kakashi decided to test the waters. He was a man too and it drove him crazy being unable to see you everyday. He was waiting for this moment. For you to come to him. His hands slid down from your head to your waist. With ease, your coat came off and your button down shirt was revealed. His hands stroked up your stomach, earning a mewl from you.

"Kakashi," You gasped, catching your breathe. Kakashi's hand reached your breast, toying with your nipple thru the fabric,

"Told you I'm not feeling too well. I think there is only one cure," He chuckled, enjoying your new expressions towards his touches, "Don't you agree?"

"Mhm, w-well-" 

          You shivered slightly as Kakashi toyed with your breasts. There was a pool of heat forming betwewn your legs as you felt his bulge grind agaisnt youe clothed pussy. Never would you have thought this to happen, but it was feeling so good.

           Kakashi watched you tremble from his touch. It sparked an urge in him to hurry. With swift motion he undid your bra and took one of your nipples in his mouth. While one hand held your waist in place, his other strated to trail down to your wet pussy. Your gasps and mewls were music to his ears.

          His fingers stroked your soaked fabric, touching you in places you had only dreamed of. Swiftly, Kakashi laid your back against the bed, unable to hold himself back much longer. His fingers slid past your panties, directly rubbing your clit. His eyes sparkled as you cried out his name, raising your hips ever so slightly.

"(Y/n), can you take care of me?" Kakashi whispered in your ear, poking his fingers against your throbbing hole.

           You could only whimper in response as you felt your stomach twist and turn. Kakashi licked his lips before engulf yours once more. He lowered his pants, revealing his cock that was already dripping precum in anticipation. Kakashi fasten his fingers, wanting to prep you before entering. He felt you tighten against his fingers, arching your back as you started to reach your climax.

"K-Kakashiiii," You moaned out, feeling a burning rush burst from you. You took a moment to catch your breathe, watching as Kakashi poked his tip to your hole, "P-Please, put it in" You begged quietly. Kakashi chuckled,

"I thought you were taking care of me?" He teased.

          Kakashi held your waist as he continued to push hinself inside your drenched cunt. He told you to relax as you whimpered and whined at the feeling of being stretched out. Your vision started to blur as you felt him fill you. He groaned lowly once he was fully in and took a moment to let you adjust.

          You swore you could see stars. Kakashi slowly pulled out, making you feel empty before slamming back into you. His hips making contact with you as the noises you made grew louder. Kakashi silenced you with a kiss, not want anyone else to hear those delicious lewd sounds. Those were for him and him alone.

           Another orgasm was brought to you as Kakashi's pace fasten. Every time you sucked him in made his mind go hazy. Oh how he wanted to hear you more. Glancing at the time, Kakashi grunt as he hurried. You cried out as you felt him twitch inside. Begging him to keep going, Kakashi complied. He wrapped his arms around you, gently kissing you before thrusting one last time. Your inside being filled with his cum.

"Kakashi! You better not be napping in there!" Tsunade yelled out as she knocked on the door.

          Both you and Kakashi flinched at the sudden yell. With speed, Kakashi fixed you up and hid you under his desk. He fixed the bed and looked for something to spray the room to hide the smell of sex. You resisted a giggle, hearing him struggle before finally answering the door. It was a small conversation before Kakashi closed the door, returning to you.

"You're always welcome to stop by," Kakashi told you, fixing your hair. You wrapped your arms around his waist,

"And help you with your little issue?"

"My personal nurse."

[missmeinyourbones]

ahhh congrats on your milestone leah!! you deserve it all and more!

oh my god all these prompts are so good and you write everyone so well, how can we choose? for your event, may I suggest eren and "this this the first time i've felt the need to confess." or "it's okay, we're the best of friends."

ty for hosting this! I can't wait to see everything you come out with ٩(⌒‿⌒)۶

FIRST TIME I'VE FELT THE NEED TO CONFESS (e. jaeger)

a/n: drunk eren and dd reader, mutual pining but eren is shameless and reader has class, LOSER CORE EREN, reader referred to as "ma'am" once in a teasing context

L’s MIDNIGHTS EVENT!

If anyone saw this situation out of context, it might be funny. But in content—your context specifically—it's nothing less than a headache.

Because you've been saddled with the pleasure of driving home an absolutely trashed Eren, pulling him by his collar to your car as he whines and thrashes with objections.

"One date," he repeats, plopping dead weight into the passenger seat of your car and looking up at you with clouded eyes.

Your response is expected, "Nope."

Eren opens his mouth, but before you can hear whatever bullshit he was conjuring up, you shut his door and walk over to the other side of the car.

Without fail, as soon as you open your door, he's continuing his pleading.

"Just dinner? That's literally all I'm asking for, just one dinner where—"

"You know," you interrupt him as you slide into the driver's seat, "you're a sloppy drunk."

You watch the thought process (or lack thereof) in his mind as he smirks and leans his seat further back, "Drinking isn't the only thing I do sloppy if you—"

"Don't finish that sentence."

Eren's eyes travel in amusement from your blushing and aggravated face to where you turn the key in the ignition and white knuckle the steering wheel. He huffs and kisses his teeth, before defeatedly joking.

"Too far?"

You don't speak, but the glare you shoot him says enough. He holds his hands up in defense and turns his attention to his window.

Silence takes over the car for a few peaceful moments and you don't bring yourself to question it, because Eren not talking is a whole lot better than Eren talking. Not only talking, but asking you out—something he's never thought to do before in the entire three years of knowing you.

Between your own exhaustion and his pathetic alcohol tolerance, you're almost positive you can write it off as nonsense. That is, until Eren opens his big fat mouth up again.

"What if I beg?"

At a red light, you rest your forehead against the steering wheel in exasperation. You hear him borderline giggle as the action gently beeps on your horn.

Your voice comes weak, "Since when do you even want to ask me out? Are you that off your ass right now?"

That changes something in him, because even though he is off his ass right now, he's wanted to ask you out when he was sober about ten times over by now. It's not his fault he's never gotten the courage to do so until now. Right?

"No, fuck no, I—" he stumbles over the slurred syllables as his brain fogs, "I mean, I am drunk, yeah. But I've been far drunker."

Comically, you stare through him, as if he doesn't have a single thought in his puny little brain. When the light turns green, you turn away from him and start driving again, suddenly far too calm for his liking.

"Believe it or not, that doesn't make me feel any better."

Eren rubs his blurry eyes with a calloused hand. "Shit—yeah, I know, okay? Just, hold on. Let me start over, 'cause I do really do wanna buy you dinner and—”

"Why now?"

"Not now," he states matter of fact, "when I'm sober and know where my wallet is."

"No, Eren," your voice is soft now, humiliated. You won't even look at him when you weakly whisper, "Why are you telling me this all of a sudden?"

He takes pride in the way he holds your stare for all of three seconds, before turning down and looking at his shoelaces.

"This is just the first time I've felt the need to confess," he mumbles.

You deadpan, "The first time?"

"Yup."

"There were other times you kept it to yourself?

"Like two whole years worth, yeah," he huffs under his breath. "But I wasn't gonna lead with that because that sounds lame and this makes me sound more manly and suave."

The car hums beneath him when he hears you laugh, and his drunk mind can't tell if it's out of pity or honest amusement, but he likes the sound of it all the same.

Though your words might be meant to sting, the delivery is silky when you tease, "I'm driving you home because you can't handle your liquor. Nothing about you is manly or suave right now."

He nods along obediently, "Okay, sorry."

Turning his attention back to the condensation dripping from the window, he suddenly speaks so gently that you'd think he was sober if you didn't see what he drank tonight.

"If you don't actually wanna go out, you can just reject me already. It's fine."

Now it's Eren who won't meet your eye as you're pulling up to his house on the corner of the street. Throwing the car into park and tapping his bicep, he slowly sighs, a bit embarrassed but too drunk to actually care.

"Tell you what," you breathe, and you're surprised Eren's neck doesn't snap on impact with the speed he turns to face you. You bite your cheek at his desperation and exhale, "If you wake up in the morning and still want to take me to dinner, then we can talk about it tomorrow."

"Yeah?" you swear you can physically see the light reenter his eyes at your simple words.

Nodding, you smile. "Yeah, but for now, get your ass in your apartment and drink a shit ton of water."

Gently shoving him, Eren gets out of the car. In the slightly drizzling rain, his eyes never leave yours as his lanky legs stand up and he salutes in a corny way, "Yes, ma'am."

You reach over the middle console to pull his door shut, but before you can even grab it, he's reaching for the handle and holding it open.

"Wait—!"

"What now?" exasperation crawls from your throat.

You watch unimpressed as he pats down all of his pockets before meekly whispering.

"…Do you have my house keys?"

[takataapui]

hi there, i'm sorry if you're not interested in answering these kinds of questions, but i'm having a lot of difficulty understanding the treaty principles bill that's being brought to parliament. all the sources ive read seem to be using big words to confuse people who don't know any better, and sadly i am one of those people. i have no idea what impact this would have if it passes. could you give any clarification?

copypasting from @sandumilfshou, thanks for this explanation e hoa, my little vent post blew up way more than I was expecting:

the treaty principles bill is essentially "redefining" the articles of te tiriti under david seymour's dumbass belief that acknowledging and putting into effect any policy or legislation that does this means that te tiriti is giving māori "special privileges" that no other people in aotearoa have and therefore is racist. so it basically seeks to redefine the two parties within te tiriti from māori and the crown to "all new zealanders" and the crown. effectively this destroys the whole point of te tiriti and would remove any/all protections for māori as tangata whenua* and undermine rangatiratanga** completely. its insidious and disgusting ✊🖤❤️🤍✊ *broadly this can be understood as the recognised acknowledged indigenous people of the land **sovereignty and self determination of māori. this particular word has a lot of meaning that the original te tiriti signing fucked over due to eng/te reo translation bullshit

I'll also add that there are heaps of iwi (loosely translated as tribes) that haven't been able to/had the resources to file a treaty claim with the Waitangi Tribunal (a system created to 'reconcile' the ways Te Tiriti was breached), so Principle 2 fucks over a lot of smaller iwi and hapū.

As well as my mention of the hīkoi being a reason why the bill was introduced earlier, it's also highly likely that the date change was due at least in part to the Waitangi Tribunal not being able to publish material related to government bills once they've been introduced.

[adnauseum11]

Bottom Line Up Front (John Price x Reader)

Kate updates John on what her reconnaissance has uncovered.

1k words

CW: swearing, allusion to past sexual assault

feedback welcome!

Kate checks the incoming number on her ringing cell before swiveling away from her computer screen and answering. Her favourite current retiree is checking in, right on schedule, saving her a call. 

“John, how are things?”

“Alright Kate, any news there?” John asks, paused at a stop light after dropping his love off at work. 

“Yeah, actually. Let’s start with if you’re aware that there’s a photo of you and your lady on the internet, shall we?” 

Kate asks, already knowing the answer. 

“What?” 

It gets John’s full attention. He’s navigating back to his love’s place, and nearly misses his turn at Kate’s revelation.

“Yeah, were you at a pub recently?”

“A few.” John stays cagey, unused to his habits off duty being under a microscope. 

“Well, there is one over on Beecher’s Lane using a photo of you and a woman to advertise online.”  

“Ah Christ, I knew that was trouble. She does trivia nights with her mates there.” He says by way of explanation. 

He leaves out the part about her triumphant face at finally making it on to the leader board swaying his better judgement about the photo. Years of scrupulous image control to maintain his professionalism undone a few months into dating. Bloody hell. 

“Well, they scanned it and posted it up. I can see why though, she’s very pretty. Well done, John. I can see why you kept her to yourself.”

“Alright, easy, you’re happily married Kate.” 

John reminds her, a wave of possessiveness sweeping through him. 

“Yeah, married but not dead.” 

“She’s spoken for.” John growls, navigating a roundabout while Kate irritates him from afar. 

“Obviously. I did some digging on my end on the name you gave. It’s come back with some colourful info. He’s ex-army, dishonorable discharged for sexual assault years ago. He’s done contract work in the past; one was with some of Col. Norris’ men. Ring any bells on that name?” 

John’s processing as he drives, a sinking feeling in his gut.

“Of course, you think there’s more of a connection there?” 

John’s memory of threatening the Colonel is clear as day, although it had been years and a long road since that incident. The mention of sexual assault has him tightening his grip on the steering wheel unconsciously. 

“Norris is involved in the contract you turned down, that Gaz is on right now. Not sure yet, it is unusual that there would be a connection for a random B&E. I’m going to keep poking around. Certainly, it feels off. Your instincts remain sound, Captain.” Kate acknowledges John’s talent for uncovering bullshit.

John hums, internally thankful he’s already on his way to his love’s place to poke around and doubly grateful he turned down the contract weeks ago. He adds stopping by the pub to his list of errands.

“He didn’t put up much of a fight when I got there. You say he’s ex-army?”

“Well, personally, I think your reputation may have preceded you. If connection to you is what brought attention on her, they’d be looking to confirm they have the right woman, not rob her. He likely would have known you on sight, probably chose the best course of action to preserve his neck in the moment when the wrong person turned up.”

John’s blood runs cold as he pulls into his love's driveway. He idles in the car, staring at the door and the busted doorhandle, still unfixed, as dread sits like lead in his stomach. John’s done too much to be naïve to the potential outcomes.

“You think someone wants to leverage her against me? Norris?” John’s putting the information together quickly, following instincts.  

“Maybe. You’ve certainly given him no reason to like you, and he could be harbouring a grudge for the way his men were treated. He’s got an ego and a chip on his shoulder. Like I said, I’m going to keep flipping stones. There’s nothing solid there yet.”

John sighs, scratching his cheek before replying.

“Alright, thanks Kate. I’d hate to be right on this, but better to get ahead of it. Maybe let Gaz know something is up, if it’s connection to me they’re after. Better safe than sorry.”

“Already in motion. In the meantime, it goes without saying that I would encourage you to keep her away from the apartment.”

Kate swivels back to her computer, a notification blinking in the bottom corner.

“She won’t be going back. She’s moving out.” 

“You found a place that quickly? Impressive, John.” 

Kate’s tone is vaguely distracted as she reads the incoming message.

“She’s moved in with me.”

There’s a pregnant pause on the other end of the line for a moment. John has a feeling he has her full attention once again.

“Well, I suppose that makes sense, but that’s moving faster than I would have expected from a bachelor like yourself, Captain. What’s next, going to marry her before spring rolls around?” 

John presses his lips together in exasperation. Kate is teasing but there’s a vein of incredulity running underneath her comments that John can hear. He can’t totally blame her; this part of his life had been strictly off-limits. For the exact reason unfolding now, to his immense frustration. From the outside looking in, it would look like sudden madness, he’s sure. On some level, he wonders if it is, a man like him trying to retire into a normal life. 

“I don’t need time to get to know her Kate, I’ve known her forever.” John reminds her.  “Christ, you’re making me miss dealing with Simon. He doesn’t ask this many questions.”

“Who do you think found the photo, John?” 

He finally turns the car off, exhaling into the phone. 

“Jesus Christ, Kate.”

“He was concerned that you were slipping, letting that get posted. He’ll be relieved to know you sniffed this out.”

“Him and I both. Keep me posted on what else you find.”

John’s back to giving orders he’s no longer got any business giving and Kate humours him, the stress in his voice evident to her long-trained ear.

“Rog that, John. You keep yourselves safe until we get more details.”

Next Chapter

Tag list:

@deadbranch @beebeechaos @cadotoast @syoddeye @writeforfandoms @itr-00 @chloepluto1306 @batw3nch

[thefiresontheheight]

"...while these [corporate re-education] programs have shown evidence of marginal positive effects (Meredithe et al.) and continue to be employed (Kine-Veck), they ultimately run into the same limitations as A.I. on interstellar hauls infallibly loyal to those possessing their security codes. That is, once outside effective communication distance companies cannot rely on any positive reinforcement. For this reason, it has been suggested that re-education instead focus on loyalty to the rest of the crew, rather than loyalty to the company." - A Proposal for Use of Romantic/Sexual Re-education on Interstellar Haul Crews, Delivered to the Board of VeckQwenZemco on New Armstrong, Mars, 2998 CE. *** The divorce come down and turn around was brutal. One moment your brain and biochemistry and hormones, all carefully wired by the re-education modules, make you fully believe that you have long been in a deep, committed, passionate relationship with the six to eight other people on the haul. You look at them and even though you know you'll only spend a few weeks of subjective time with them, maybe a month or two on a longer job, only a brief window out of cryo and not lagged by relativity, even though you know what you gave the company your written consent to do, your brain still loves them. Then you pull into orbit over Eridiani, or Luna, or wherever, you probably bang one last time, say your tearful goodbyes, and spend the next few weeks crying like you just lost the love of your life as the chemicals wash out and the deprogramming modules hit. The moment is over. But time spent on a company station meant time wracking up debt for oxygen, water, food. So, still on the come down, Reade looked for a course, signed the wavers, gave her consent, grabbed the meager belongings that had gotten her through seven of these hauls, now dating from over forty years ago given the time lost to cryo and near-light travel. File down to concourse-E. Begin again. "Here for the haul?" the skinny low-g kid of her in the line said. "Um, VeckGreenQwenZemco 3043-28897?" Reade sized them up. New kid. First haul. She could smell it on them. In a few hours she'd probably love them and have her brain inventing all sorts of bullshit justifications for the neurochemical feelings the company would induce in her in order to improve team cohesion and morale trillions of miles away from anyone else. In a few hours she'd love them for their optimism, their smile, their cheery attitude and all the questions. But not yet. Right now, still awash in the last break up, Reade savored the simple joy of being a miserable bitch. "Kid," she said, with a malicious grin, "you're gonna love me in a bit. But you're still gonna remember this so I want you to get a good earful of it before the re-education. I'm fucking hate you and hate that I have to do this and if I could I'd throw you out a fucking airlock." She pulled her headphones on and cranked the volume. It hurt, in her chest, and the least she could do was make someone else hurt with her. That freedom, at least, she had for a few more minutes.

[wasteofbandagesxx]

Unwanted

{Fyodor x Reader}

Conent: unhealthy relationship, manipulate, gaslight, toxic, neglect

The relationship was a mistake, something you shouldn't have gotten yourself involved with. Now, here you are, stuck with the devil himself. He could care less about your relationship, too busy with his own shit. You felt useless, honestly. You didn't know why you bothered to stay at his side, you were stuck.

You guys never went out on a date, never had alone time together, nothing. You were well aware of being his puppet, but you couldn't care less. You keep tricking yourself into believing that Fyodor needs you and that he loves you, but your well aware of the truth. You've thought of hurting him so many times, but you could never bring yourself to do it. Fyodor would give you little attention and that was enough for now, it's better than nothing. Even if you had the guts to kill him, you knew he would get to you first. He has his way with things. He's a demon, a very cold hearted man that only cares about one thing in the world and that is to make the world pure. Fyodor himself is the opposite of pure, his twisted beliefs clouding his mind. He'd do anything for the world to be pure, he wouldn't let it burn for something like you.

"Fyodor, wanna go for a walk? You've been staring at those monitors for hours and it's bad for your eyes."

"No thanks, another time. I'll be fine, now run along and do some errands for me."

"Fyodor, I've made dinner. Come eat please."

"I can't, I'm too busy right now."

"Can we cuddle?"

"Cuddle a pillow or something."

"I love you hun."

"Mhm, I know you do."

As much as you tried being affectionate and caring for him, he just pushes you away. He doesn't desire you the way you desire him. He's too busy in his office, typing away ion his computer and chewing on his brittle fingernails. You walk in with a cup of tea, you thought it was needed to sooth him and make him relaxed. "Fyodor, I brought you some tea." You carefully placed it on the desk, away from the monitors so no accidents happen. "Thank you darling, I really needed some tea. I do need you for something so it's a good thing your here." He turns his chair around to face you and pulls out a long list of errands. "I need you to do this for me." He hands it to you and turns back to his monitors, on that list was just nothing but bullshit to you. It's always cooking, getting food, kidnaping, murdering, ect. Sure you agreed to this relationship but never agreed to being a full time house wife. "If I do all this, can we please relax in bed together?"

"No, I'm far to busy. Just get out and do what's on the list." He said firmly, not even taking his eyes away from the screen. You were growing impatient, you were tired of his games and acting like an oblivious little puppet. You threw the paper back on his desk and prepared yourself for another argument. "No." Fyodor stopped typing and turns his chair around again to look at you. "No?" He gives you the look that he knows would intimidate you. "I'm tired of this Fyodor. I'm tired of not being treated like I should be. I'm your partner, I should at least have some respect, and my needs are important too." You slightly raised your voice so you can give a clear message of how tired you are. "Now your acting like a spoiled brat. I provide you food, clothes, a reason to live. I even give you compliments here and there. I took you from the streets and now your complaining about doing too much work? Not only that, but also saying that I don't satisfy your needs. It's not my fault I'm always busy." He wasn't gonna let you win this argument, he knows that standing up to him is pointless. But the man can't help but find it amusing.

"We hardly do what couples do. Whenever I do something for you, you never say thank you, only once in a while you do but the lack of appreciation is unacceptable. The love and care I show means nothing to you. Your calling me a spoiled brat when you can't even appreciate the things I do for you. I only ask for you to help me out with things and give me affection, not brush me off and act like I'm not a person. Like I said before, I have needs too. I-"

"Am I not enough for you?" Hearing that made you stopped talking, you froze from hearing that simple question. "I try my best to take care of you, and as much as I want to give you affection, I'm busy. What I do is for you, all my hard work is not only for the world but for you too. I work day and night to achieve my goal, our goal. It doesn't help that your whining about your own needs not being satisfied and it sounds like my effort is for nothing. You make me feel worthless, wasting my time with work means nothing to you. Is all my hard work not enough for you? Am I not enough for you?"

You wanted to bitch slap him but your body was frozen in fear and guilt. You start to think if standing up to him was a good idea. He was getting under his skin, there was no way you could win this argument. "That's not-"

"Your hurting me, love. All my love and work is unwanted. I do everything for you, you do everything for me. I don't see why there's a reason to complain. Maybe you should stop being selfish and go do what you were told to do."

Hearing all those things impacted you alot. Tears welling up in your eyes, you didn't want him to see you cry so you tilt ur head down so ur face is covered by your hair. There was no point in arguing anymore, the guilt was eating you alive. "I'm sorry..." You apologized, was cracked as you try hard not to cry. Fyodor felt no guilt what so ever. "Aww, come here darling..." You looked at him in shock as the man you love opened his arms. You got close to him and accepted his embrace. He hugs you tightly, as if you were going to fade away. He tries comforting you, his sympathy fake as always. "It's alright darling. You've done a lot and your probably tired from the work you have to do. I shouldn't be so hard on you. I'm sorry love." He gently pets your hair and whispers sweet nothing into your ear.

He knew that if the argument were to continue, you would break up with him and try to leave. He couldn't have that, you know too much. He can't have his little doll running loose and snitching on him about his plans. He realized he needed to satisfy your needs in order for you to stay. You were too useful to him. You are wanted, but the same time not. "I love you dear. You know that, right?" You let out a quiet whine and shook your head, answering his question.

You were just giving up at this point. Everytime this monster would manipulate and gaslight you to put you in your place. The last time you tried standing up to him, it didn't end well. That's why you gave up so easily. You felt useless. You knew you were wanted, but not in a loving way. You were always unwanted. "I love you dear."

"I love you too."