#dystopian desire!
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I a suffering from a severe lack of Zombie Apocalypse shows, movies and games. I need something to fulfill my desire for mass destruction, despair and death!
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I just found out someone wrote a whole academic article on one of the most interesting aspects of Psycho-Pass (the paper itself is from 2022). It's free, I just finished it, and now I want other people to read it. I have Opinions on this.
#psycho pass#dystopian fiction#philosophy#I now desire Filippo carnally but also don't like him much (joking)#reccomendations#reading
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Lowkey thinking about removing the idea of countries in my better CR altogether and just have everyone of all cultures living and mixing in a utopian society
#I think that'd be really cool#but it also sounds a little dystopian😭#shiftblr#reality shifting#desired reality#shifting community#shifting antis dni#better cr
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FUCKING CHRIST
#desire mona#media#NO ONE WANTS A WAIST OVER *tighten noise* NINE INCHES#temu is actually so fucking dystopian genuinely#i saw my mom watch a video abt temu before it became a Big Thing and i was like oh god Mom Shein but no its WORSE#walmart: fast fashion edition#thoughtsing
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*Sees United States Air Force recruiting advertisement on the side of my dash.* "College, Housing Healthcare. We bring it all. You bring you." How dystopian is this? Really? It just made me realize that in order to get the basics for LIVING that it's just accepted, nay even expected, for people to sign up to kill and die. Uggggh. What kind of a Hell-world do we even live in?
#U.S. politics#recruiting#grooming#USAF#uncomfortably remembers over 20 years ago and fell for it#college money and travel desires...#and I didn't make it through boot due to health problems cropping up#but yeah I've grown up and rethought it ALL since then#even the ads are more dystopian now than they were then#I remember when they were more about college funding and exciting worldwide travel#now it's down to basics like healthcare and housing#because God knows we can't get a guarantee of those from a normal career civilian job anymore
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Just gonna promote this again because it's ME IT IS MY RESEARCH ahem but also we talk about how it's related to solarpunk. I swear we get there, despite the super grim / totally generic and tropey cover image, there is solarpunk and hope. We just gotta get through the historical context first.
#research#solarpunk#solarpunk presents podcast#dystopian fiction#dystopia#post-apocalypse#post-apocalyptic fiction#science fiction#science fiction feminisms#fantasy#apocalyptic desire#apocalypse#apocalyptic fiction#canadian science fiction#american science fiction#canadian vs american science fiction#american exceptionalism#feminist theory#decolonial theory#ecocriticism#Youtube
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I revere God and so I fear people
I cannot know when someone will betray me but when I look at someone I've known over time, I start seeing the divine within. I revere the goodness. The purest form of a person, the form that looks like a part of God's, that is infinitely raw and natural. A form that is aware of mortality and enjoys simply being.
I think when most people say they hate it here... they don't mean this planet or this universe. The earth is beautiful and everything in it is beautiful but it is the people that spoil it. I wish we gave more space for understanding in the place of ignorance. Ignorance has always been the downfall of humanity.
~ P. D.
#ignorance#dystopian society#god#goddess#neurodivergent#neville goddard#philosophy#reality shifting#desired reality#wisdom#existence#life#kindness#feelings
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rick and morty holds a point of view that humanity is entirely motivated by money and if people stopped being paid then they wouldn't do any work but like. jerry keeps bees? he literally keeps bees
#random thoughts#guess what motherfuckers it's blue man time#i hate this trope in dystopian fiction when humanity becoming happy is bad because we desire conflict#like first of all. gross that you think the only thing keeping the economy alive is fear of sickness or starvation#and you think a lack of that is bad#'it's better for people to starve and the economy to be prosperous than for there to be no starvation and no economy' that's you.#humanity will always find a way to occupy itself#beth lacking any sense of fulfillment outside of her job is a character trait (or lazy writing depending on how you see it)#that doesn't mean it's like. a problem. which needs to be solved. at the expense of other people#i would LOVE an episode where beth can't work for whatever reason and she has to find some way to occupy her time#in rickshank redemption she just drinks and in juricksic mort she plays operation#HAVE HER GO TO HER FAMILY AND BE LIKE 'HOW DO YOU GUYS OCCUPY YOUR TIME'#have her keep bees with jerry! help rick in the garage! do whatever summer and morty do!#(i think if asked morty would say 'i just help rick when he asks me to' which is. sad)#beth should absolutely hate everything she tries btw. rick and morty fucking loves the status quo
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Literally I saw the waffles of this "coveted waffle party" and they looked so underwhelming. Like the butter wasnt even melting. Those were like, cold or room temperature toaster waffles. And then the sex stuff started and it suddenly made a lot more sense lol.
Also yeah it's definitely implied that the innie would be the dom, its a recreation of that painting that Irving is looking at in the wellness waiting room when he first meets Burt. In the painting the Founder is whipping (taming) the bride, the fool, the old woman, and the goat (the four tempers of the human soul? I guess? Woe frolic dread and malice?). In the waffle party Dylan wears the mask of the Founder while the...helpers? wear the masks of the others in the painting.
Plus it makes sense, in the textbook BDSM dynamics that a person who constantly feels powerless and trapped would get more pleasure from being the dom.
And yeah, reckless-tortilla is so right. It's a strategic perversion of human pleasure and intimacy. It's a new sensation to them, and the kind of thing that changes a person's psychology (which is why kinks can be associated with trauma, and why grooming can be so detrimental to development) and they associate that pleasure with performing well for the company.
A ritualistic recreation of an event that is supposed to be "sacred" or "deified" the way a lot of the Kier stuff is, with sexual pleasure involved is super culty. I wouldn't be surprised if the idea was to make the innies mistake orgasm for exaltation, since they take the place of the founder in the waffle party ritual. Then they'd be more likely to believe that Kier is indeed some loving deity, that their work there really does matter, that there's a higher purpose as long as they trust in the company and Do Their Part like such a diligent little worker.
My question is who wears the other masks??? Are they severed too? Are they sex workers? I mean they're doing sex for work so yeah but like are they specifically Lumen sex workers? Or are they just like, regular sex workers who occasionally do waffle parties at Lumen? And yeah, if they're severed what kind of life are they living that they're cool with whip marks? What if they're severed when there's a waffle party and then kept severed until the scars heal? And their outies just have a special contract where they go weeks without work and then get called in and come back weeks later?
i can't stop going back to the waffle party scene in severance. and like, correct me if i'm wrong or add your thoughts, cause i just finished the show yesterday so thoughts are merely simmering here, but like...what the fuck, right?
like, that's a sex thing. disguised as a food reward. as a work perk. and of course work perks as a whole are macabre enough in this context, but like...it's so fucked up. do they know, at least at first, what they're in for? and the thought alone of using sex--or not even sex, but like, sensuality? the body?--as a reward for work?
and then like, i can't fucking stop thinking about the flogging whip thing with the virtues of kier or whatever the fuck on each whip? like, it's not even just a sex thing, it's a bdsm sex thing. and how does that play out in this scenario? cause if it's not purely for the theater of it all then good god, right? would the employee be meant to take the dominant role or the submissive one here? i don't even know what's worse. either you're meant to take pleasure in the disciplinary action, of wielding those virtues and inflicting them on others, or you're literally meant to 'take them' and find enjoyment in that submission to the company.
like, what if your whole life was flipping burgers at mcdonald's, and one day your boss is like 'you flipped burgers so good you can now eat some fries', so you go to ronald mcdonald's house and eat your fries and then you go to ronald mcdonald's bed and the hamburglar beats you with a deep fryer basket thing while you're meant to yell i'm lovin' it.
#i was not expecting there to be so much unhinged lore in the dystopian bureaucracy show but ya know#severance#and like a goat representing malice is a whole other conversation what with thr baby goat department#like are they saying that the corporation is nurturing the infantile desire to do evil in the souls of humanity?#making that malice grow up big and strong?#following this line of though macrodata has something to do with dread cause the numbers aren't really scary#so much as instilling a sense of dread#does wellness count as a department? if so id say O&D is fool and wellness is woe but thats mere speculation#hahaha anyway i just binged this show today and apparently it affected me more than i thought lol
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god I should watch a full playthrough of We Happy Few
#like it has the tropes I carnally desire. dystopian and forced happiness#I tried to get into it when it first came out but Younger Me was freaked out by one of the opening scenes in the game#with the pinata and the rat.#but I enjoy the Stupendium's and JT Music's songs on the game#and the concept wants to suck me in so so badly
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astrology notes: 19 ☼𓂃𓃗𓂃
quick note: i'm absolutely not an astrologer. these are just a collection of some observations, thoughts, theories, and personal experiences based on astrology. with that being said, i'm still learning along the way & i may come back to edit this post to make corrections. above all this is just for fun. lastly, keep in mind that i’m not reading your birth chart and i know nothing about you. these are just some possibilities that may or may not apply to you. enjoy!
˚♡₊ pisces & them not knowing if something they remembered was from one of their day dreams or an actual dream they had.
˚♡₊ moon or chiron in the 2nd house can indicate an emotional eater. they can be someone who eats for comfort or just because they're bored.
˚♡₊ virgos are known to be judgmental towards other people & things but they’re judgmental towards themselves as well, being that they typically struggle with perfectionism. for this reason, they probably cringe at themselves and the things they’ve done quite often. they can be quite regretful and hard on themselves when they make a mistake. but virgo, you guys are imperfect just like everyone else who has lived and died. and although it may be easier said than done, breathe, live, and just be. try to view as your mistakes as an opportunity to learn & improve.
˚♡₊ asteroid juno (3) in 4th the house can make people think you’re the type to bring home to meet their mom/family.
˚♡₊ uranus in the 2nd, 5th, 8th, and 11th house can cause the native to feel frustrated and experience disturbance in those areas of life that are represented by those aforementioned houses. that’s because uranus is a planet that represents constant change and unpredictability & those houses are fixed houses that represent exactly what the name suggests, it’s fixed, it desires stability and regularity.
˚♡₊ capricorns are known to be controlling/bossy but aquarius tends to have those characteristics too. i’ve often seen it happen with their friends, like they can be the leader of the group and tell people what to do or they make decisions for others. i guess it’s the saturn influence since we know that cap is ruled by saturn & aquarius is traditionally ruled by saturn too.
˚♡₊ those with gemini moon are the type to laugh at themselves while they’re crying. and if they’re not, then they’re definitely going through it because it’s often hard for them to take themselves seriously like gemini risings, but in this case it’s more focused on their emotions.
˚♡₊ those with their venus aspecting saturn could be the type that always has a loved one/former loved one, like an ex, coming back even if it’s 6 years later. the person that tries to come back may realize what they had a little too late, they may realize that the loyalty & love you gave them was one of a kind and it’s hard for them to find that same or similar level of stability and commitment elsewhere.
˚♡₊ scorpio risings are lowkey mad funny because of their gemini in the 8th house, but especially if they have planets like sun, mercury, or moon there. & because it’s in the 8th house, it’s not something that many people know about them except for those that are close to them or those they have 8th house synastry with.
^ but when it comes to those with a gem rising or gemini in the 10th house, everyone thinks/knows they’re funny.
˚♡₊ uranus dominants or those with uranus in aspect to mercury/neptune may really enjoy reading/watching sci-fi & dystopian books/movies or tv shows.
˚♡₊ taurus moons are typically blessed with the ability to remain calm & grounded but their emotions can be a bit stubborn and linger for a while. it may take some time for them to get over a breakup or separation from someone they really love.
˚♡₊ those with chiron, pluto, or mercury retrograde in the 5th house or 10th house could have stage fright. they may dislike doing presentations in school or at work. if they have to do something in the presence of others they’d rather it be in a group. but even if they are in a group, like a small choir, they’d prefer to stand in the back or behind others.
˚♡₊ the house where aries or mars falls in your chart can show you the type of men you usually attract:
in the 1st house, if you’re a girl you may attract men who you’d describe as the male version of you, or men who are childish or younger than you.
in the 3rd house it could be your classmates, those in your neighborhood, or those that you see as more of a brother, even if they’re not related to you. for this reason, you may be quick to friend zone them.
in the 6th house it could be the men at your place of work who are always hitting on you or trying to flirt. or men that have an unexplainable desire to take care of you, they may see you as a damsel in distress.
in the 10th house it could be older men who are already established or successful. maybe you easily attract sugar daddies or men that just want to provide for you whether that be money, opportunities, or guidance.
in the 11th house your male friends may be the ones crushing on you or you attract men from all walks of life, meaning you might be "everyone's" type. even if you're not the type that some of these men may usually go for, they could be willing to ignore that when it comes to you.
in the 12th house you may have a lot of secret admirers and men that often day dream about you but won't tell you.
the attraction could be stronger or more noticeable with mars making aspects to planets/asteroids like venus or eros or with venus or eros also in aries. & due to the characteristics of mars, these men may find you intimidating and they could be a bit scared to approach you at first, or they could come on to you a bit aggressively, or they just try too hard to get your attention.
if you read this until the end i hope you enjoyed it & thank you so much for reading. ♥︎♥︎♥︎, those hearts are for you.
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I've been having quite a few thoughts about a food dystopian world, where you have got all these companies designing the most addictive foods possible, exploiting basic human psychology and biology. They don't care that you get fat in the process. In fact, it's encouraged, as you'll be able to eat more of their food. Everything is extremely processed. Nutrients don't matter, only taste and addictiveness. Make it as easy as possible to overindulge, by adding delivery services and subscriptions. Flood any entertainment program with ads for their food to make you crave it and get hungry again whenever you sit down for a moment. Build huge signs with their logos anywhere you go, constantly reminding you of the pleasure and indulgence you could be enjoying. The fatter and more addicted you get, the less you care about what exactly it is you're putting into your body. You will just keep eating and eating the processed and fattening garbage these companies decided to get you addicted to, blowing up in the process. Actually heathy options become scarce and expensive, making them less and less desirable. Just eat whatever makes you feel good. Have your comfort food, your cheat meal, your favorite snacks, a meal that makes you feel good. Don't think, just eat.
... Then I realized, that this exactly the world we live in — and that's fucking hot.
#smut#weight gain encouragement#feedee encouragement#fat encouragement#feeding kink#gaining weight on purpose#gaining kink
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Let’s start with Oregon – what does this mean for unhoused people in Grants Pass?
It means that Grants Pass can enforce its 24/7 citywide ban on public homelessness. The question was whether cities should be able to jail or fine someone who has no other alternative but to live in public space – the unhoused folks who are considered “involuntarily homeless”. The city was already allowed to arrest people who had declined offers of shelter. Now, Grants Pass will likely be fining people who have no shelter options.
When you fine someone who can’t pay, the fine can eventually turn into a misdemeanor. Studies have shown that it doesn’t help an already poor person to be driven into debt. Fining someone makes them less likely to emerge from homelessness, including by ruining their credit score and making them unable to afford basic needs like food.
Beyond fines, the city of Grants Pass is going to eventually jail more people. This is punishing people who have done nothing more than exist in public space. This case was about whether you can punish people for the unavoidable consequences of being human. The supreme court said yes.
How do you expect the decision will impact other jurisdictions across the west?
This is quite possibly the most consequential decision in history up until this point relating to homeless rights. It’s hard to overstate how important it is.
I think more cities will attempt 24/7 citywide bans on homelessness. I think it will encourage cities to shift away from investments in evidence-based approaches like adequately investing in affordable housing, permanent supportive housing and diversion and shift toward more law-and-order, enforcement-led efforts to essentially jail and banish already marginalized people from public view.
Grants Pass argued it wasn’t criminalizing the status of homelessness, but criminalizing the act of camping in public. The supreme court majority in its ruling on Friday concurred, and said that criminalizing an act does not constitute cruel and unusual punishment.
Presumably cities could in the future go even further than Grants Pass has, as long as they frame their laws as prohibiting public camping, instead of prohibiting homelessness, although I don’t think that issue has been fully resolved by today’s decision.
Donald Trump and others have used increasingly dark rhetoric, threatening to force people into “tent cities”. Will the ruling embolden those kinds of efforts?
I think we could see the forced displacement of unhoused folks into what I would call internment camps out in the middle of nowhere – a mass migration of unhoused people from one place where their existence is banned to other places where the laws don’t ban their existence. Many cities already have authorized camps in far-out locations that are completely invisible to the general public. I learned about one that was bordered by a dump, a recycling center and railroad tracks – the quintessentially least desirable place.
The idea of rounding up unhoused folks and forcing them into camps or out of the jurisdiction entirely is obviously very concerning. And it should be of grave concern, because once something is invisible, you don’t know what’s happening to the already really vulnerable people living there. Trump has publicly contemplated using his federal authority to move people into the middle of the desert where they won’t bother anyone by existing. It’s a very dystopian vision of internment camps and the likely abuses and neglect that would come from that. It’s terrifying.
Prior to this ruling, cities already had quite a lot of latitude to restrict camping, correct?
Yes, cities could already sweep encampments as much as they like. In many cities, they’ve been sweeping tents at record rates. They could also already enforce anti-camping laws if there was something that could be shown to be an urgent public health or safety issue with respect to a particular encampment – for example, if an encampment was blocking a whole sidewalk. Cities could sweep without even giving notice in those circumstances. Under the previous standard, cities weren’t even required to provide adequate shelter. It just said if the city lacks shelter, it can’t jail or fine someone, which to me should be so straightforward, and yet somehow here we are.
How do you expect legal advocates for unhoused people will respond to this ruling?
The dehumanizing message of today’s decision is going to galvanize civil rights attorneys. It has to. Anytime somebody’s basic right to exist is threatened, civil rights activists have to regroup. And cities should not approach this too cavalierly. There will be legal consequences for cities that pursue 24/7 citywide bans on homelessness. All this decision does is remove the protections for unhoused folks under the eighth amendment of the US constitution. States across the country have analogs to the eighth amendment in their state constitutions. States can and often do interpret their state constitutional provisions to be more protective than the federal constitution. The eighth amendment at its core is really about how much we value the humanity of vulnerable people. So it’s crippling from a human standpoint to have that protection removed. But there are other avenues that homeless rights advocates and human rights lawyers can still pursue. They can make arguments under other federal constitutional provisions. There are still due process arguments under the 14th amendment. You can still argue there is selective prosecution. There are arguments that could be made under the fourth amendment [which protects people from unreasonable searches and seizures]. There’s the Americans with Disabilities Act [ADA], and most chronically homeless people would likely qualify as someone with a disability who has protections from state-sanctioned abuse.
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initially i thought it was odd that humans would be educated on religion, but it didn't clock that it's not human religion.
anakt is actually the name of the company that runs anakt garden and sponsors alien stage. you can see its logo throughout the event on stage, on props, etc.
to the humans, though, it also seems to be a religious figure.
the great anakt is viewed as both a divine entity and a location that nearly all humans affiliated with anakt are aware of.
when till's life/death comic came out, till's mother praying to anakt especially surprised me considering i thought they were in the slums (similar to ivan) but no! they lived in a human factory!
this would explain how anakt's facilities would include a screen with the girl from top 3, essentially flaunting the results of their work and sponsorships. it's a constant big brother esque reminder to the anakt parents of what their children will become if they are "successful;" a widely valued commodity. a product.
back to the main point, religion is usually suppressed in dystopian settings as it gives the underdogs a sense of hope. but what they were given a sense of hope through more indoctrination? through the exact same facility they're supposed to remain loyal to?
^ from the 2022 stream :')
enter anakt's classes, standards, etc. anakt's classes are just straight up brainwashing, which is overall pretty unsurprising to establish a sense of control. the great anakt (to my understanding) is a big brother type figure (oh wow! 1984 mention). a symbol of some false hope the humans can look up to so they can be complacent to the aliens.
theres also the whole standard singing position being clasped hands! very reminiscent of praying. singing, which is seen as a kind of aesthetic?? crying???? by both humans and aliens is intrinsically linked to emotions, vocal power, expression, etc. in the alnst universe. by implementing a sort of "proper" way to sing, this further gives the aliens control over human's actions when their source of entertainment is the closest thing some humans will get to freedom.
the pose of praying also supports how the characters express their wants, desires, hopes, dreams through their music. each song performed serves as an "i want" song, hero's journey style.
this push-pull dynamic in song is actually lyrically won by the humans! that sounds odd considering their situation, but despite the indoctrination, humans in alnst find other sources of hope. each other.
-my god my universe monologue
blink gone is an exception because its purely a performance theres like. no love. yaugh. ow.
#alien stage#alnst#plips rambles#plips theories#plips essays#again take with a grain of salt i dont know a lot about religion :')#or like... dystopian systems and the political logistics#i was a dystopian ya novel girlie though so
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☆ choi line + “i would ___ for you” ultimatums
txt members : yeonjun, soobin, beomgyu
info : 540 words, angst, mentions of blood + death
notes : i was jus thinking how yeonbingyu are such reckless romantics + how they'd act in dystopian, life-and-death kinds situations... and this devastating idea was born <3
☆ choi yeonjun
yeonjun would be the “i would kill for you” ultimatum. he's desperate and angry and so full of the desire for vengeance that he would murder anyone who's in the way, anyone who causes harm to the people he loves. he doesn't care about the blood that stains his hands, doesn't care if it scars his soul and destroys him in the afterlife, because all he cares about is this life, and about keeping the people he loves alive. his desperation for at least his loved ones to live and his fierce loyalty towards them manifests like this, in this grim determination that allows him to slaughter kingdoms, all for everyone else, all for the sake of others. yeonjun will fall into hell one day and even the devil will fear him there, but he'd do it all again if he had to.
“i'll kill them,” yeonjun declares, the words burning him from the inside out. “i'll kill them all. they're fools if they think they can hurt you and get away with it. i'm going to kill them all for you, just you wait.”
☆ choi soobin
soobin is the “i would live for you” ultimatum. he knows the intricacies of life, knows how hard it is to keep living and living and living and living, knows how painful it is to keep getting up every time you're beaten down, blood in your mouth and bruises in your side but still continuing to live. he knows how hard it is to live in spite of how everything inside him wants to die. but he can't die, not whilst he's the only one who loves you so strongly, the only one who remembers and truly cares. the world needs to know that someone lives, who loves the people that soobin loves. he lives, so the future can remember him, and thus remember you too. he lives so he can live enough life for the both of you.
“i love you,” soobin whispers, eyes shattering, “and i'm going to spend every day reminding the world just how much i do. i'm going to live for your memory, for your smiles, for everything you are. i'll live for you, and you alone.”
☆ choi beomgyu
and of course, beomgyu is“i would die for you”. how could he be anything else? he's a tragic lover, the classic lover, the kind of lover who places little value in his own life but places so much in yours. beomgyu would die for you, sacrifice himself a thousand times if he could, because he wants to help you, always. and if it's his death that does that, then. that's enough said. he places himself below others, in terms of importance: the people he loves always come first. he might cry about it—will definitely cry, in fact, heart-wrenching sobs where no one else can hear—but he'll do it. for the sake of other people's happiness, for yours, so he knows you'll smile again, even if he's not there to see it.
“listen,” beomgyu says quietly. even as tears shine in his eyes, his voice is strong, determined. “listen. let me die. i'll- i'll be the sacrifice. let me die for you, because at least then, i'll feel like i'm doing something worthwhile.”
#fairyhaos.works#k-labels#txt#yeonjun#soobin#choi beomgyu#beomgyu#choi yeonjun#choi soobin#txt headcanon#txt headcanons#txt imagines#txt fic#txt fluff#txt drabble#txt scenarios#txt x reader#txt yeonjun#txt soobin#txt beomgyu#yeonjun x reader#soobin x reader#beomgyu x reader#tomorrow x together imagines#tomorrow x together#kpop#kpop fic
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DUNE. - p. seonghwa (m)
➼ genre; smut ➼ pairing; seonghwa x fem!reader ➼ au; outlaw/biker!seonghwa, dystopian futurism, lore accurate ateez ➼ warnings; explicit smut, vaping mention ➼ rating; m/18+ ➼ wc; 5.4k
Your excursions with Seonghwa are never anything holy despite how sacred the time shared between you feels at times.
part of the outlaw miniseries.
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➼ smut warnings; piv, unprotected sex, public sex (ie outdoors and on a motorcycle), oral: m, hair pulling, dirty talk, marking/biting, face fucking, deepthroating, slight edging, petnames: princess, kitten & doll, breeding kink, creampie, some religious imagery, slight objectification
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“You bastard.”
Dressed in nothing but a towel to keep you modest, you exit the bathroom in your far too small apartment expecting nothing but the simple task of getting your nightclothes from your bedroom. That, however, seems to be an impossibly tall order given what’s waiting for you in the living room. Sitting on your couch. With his stupid dirty boots all over your best piece of furniture in the house. So you can’t very well be blamed for your outburst upon seeing him, especially given the fact that he’s dared to show his face here and now like this.
The window adjacent to your couch is cracked as well, letting the evening air and likely every bug in the city into your home too.
“It’s been two months,” you snap before you can think through the lengthy list of things you’d like to rip into him about.
Seonghwa drops his head on the back of the couch and shifts to smile over at you, lopsided and dorky and all-around infuriating. Even more humiliating is the fact that you missed the sight of that grin, of him on your couch and in your home, and you dearly missed knowing when he would come back to you.
“And?”
“Did you use the fire escape to get in here again?” You thought that you had latched and locked the windows particularly well after you settled with the fact that Seonghwa wasn’t coming back. And yet here he is, and your windows are unlocked again. The man laughs, bringing his head off the couch and leaning forward in a way that makes his slicked-back black hair shift and fall around his face. This is a dangerously unwell situation for you to be in. Shutting your eyes, you turn towards your bedroom, hand tightening at the towel around your body. If you look at him a moment longer, you’re well and truly going to jump his bones. While that’s not the worst fate you could think of, you’d like to seem a little more upset at him before you give into both your desires and his.
You hear the couch creak then the soft scuffs of his boots over wood flooring as you pull clothes out of the dresser. He’s not in the doorway when you turn around, which does surprise you somewhat, but you take advantage of the brief moment of privacy to change into the tee and jeans you just pulled out. You toss your towel at the doorway once you’re safely under the comfort of clothes, and half of Seonghwa’s face peeks around the corner.
“You going somewhere?” He asks the question so innocently that you nearly think he’s changed in the past two months. Still, he’s leaning fully against the door frame now with one hand pressed high up along the wood and leaning over the edge into your bedroom, and the seduction is still there. His allure with all its perks and twists and all the ease he performs his enticement with are on full display before your eyes.
“Aren’t we?” you offer in response, too impatient to bother with playing your usual push-and-pull game with him.
“You still know me well, huh?” Now that you’re closer to him and can look at him head-on, you see the all too familiar jacket clinging to his broad shoulders, the tight tank top beneath it that shows off a hint of his muscled arms and chest. Seonghwa must see something across your expression that you aren’t consciously aware of because he hooks his index finger under your chin and lifts your head to look you in the eye. “You’re irresistible when you pout, kitten.”
A hand reaches up to cup the back of his neck, skating across the fabric of his shirt as you move upwards, and when you grab hold of him, he’s already leaning down to meet you on your path to his lips.
“I’m still mad at you, by the way,” you murmur before laying a kiss against him. Seonghwa laughs into your mouth as his tongue breaks the seam and finds yours. He tastes like the same stupid flavor of vape juice you remember, which means he hasn’t quit like he said he would last time you spoke, but he seems to have kept using your favorite flavor. “It’s past curfew.”
“No it’s not,” he denies quickly, and you pull off his mouth completely just so he can see how hard you roll your eyes at him.
“It’s past curfew.”
“Fifteen minutes outside the city—” a firmly planted kiss that keeps you from responding “—twenty tops, it’s fine. You can even drive if you want? You know how hot I find it seeing you on my bike.” Now that you’ve broken the seal, Seonghwa can’t seem to pull his lips away from yours for even a full sentence with the way he keeps rushing to lick into your mouth between every few words.
“If this—ah, hey!” He nips the corner of your mouth, grin cheeky at best when you squeeze the back of his neck hard. “If this is what we’re going to do then why not just stay here?”
“Because I have something to show you.” When suspicion starts to overcome your features, Seonghwa leans down and bumps his forehead against yours. “And we haven’t checked the bike’s sturdiness in over two months… what if my baby isn’t as sturdy as she used to be, huh? She’s not getting as much practice as she used to.”
“And I wonder whose fault that is.”
“Mine and no one else’s, princess.” He’s giving you that damn smile that makes you cave every time without fail — the upturned lip one that makes his laugh lines appear — and you groan purposefully loud like it’ll change the outcome of the night you’ve already handed yourself over to. Everyone close to you in your life would rush to call you a doormat for this man, and you can’t say that they’re horribly wrong on any front. Maybe if they knew exactly how good the dick and banter are they would cut you some slack though.
“Fine, you win.” You pull him into another open-mouthed kiss that lets you have another taste. “But you’re driving there, I’ll drive back.”
Seonghwa grins like he’s just won the lottery of life, hand snapping to brace yours against his chest as he guides you to the window where he made his grandiose entrance. There are many questions at the forefront of your mind admittedly, but you opt not to bring any of them up quite yet solely because you don’t want to cause any headaches this early on in the night. If he decides to turn tail and run upon being confronted then what? You’ll have wasted your night on this man for no reason and it’ll be totally unfulfilling for the both of you, so you imagine he wants to keep the mediocre peace as much as possible too. You have no trouble leaving the window unlocked now, mostly because Seonghwa is the only person who has dared to break in in your area of town, and he doesn’t do so with the intention of taking any of your belongings: just you and your poor fragile heart.
His motorcycle sits alone in the alleyway your fire escape leads down to, and you watch him pop the small box trunk attached to the back of it for a few seconds before realizing that you truly are what he came for. He pulls a helmet out — the same one he used to always make you wear that fits you just right and you used to be convinced that he bought it solely for you, but he denied it so heavily you gave up on that notion a long time ago. He never carries it around unless he knows he’s coming to you because he’s always claimed to need the space for “work” related things if you can even call it that given the rather illegal nature of what he does with this very bike. You don’t mind that part one bit; Night City has gone to shit anyway, and the government keeps finding new ways to impose absurd laws on all of you. If Seonghwa wants to mess with their new world order a bit and piss all over their business, then you’re all for it. You hope he and whoever he works with bring them down a few notches while they’re at it. But you do want him to be safe, and you want to know he’s okay and alive out there, and you don’t want months of radio silence that leaves you wondering if you did something to run him off or if he got captured by the guardians or worse—
“Hey.”
You inhale sharply. Seonghwa slides the helmet down over your head then braces his hands on either side of it to lay a kiss on where your forehead would be if not for the protection. Behind the visor, you shut your eyes and take a deep breath. When you open them again, Seonghwa is perched on the bike, pulling his own helmet on, and you admire the pretty slope of his nose mere seconds before it disappears.
Unspoken rule #1: you don’t ask about his little foray into anarchy.
“I don’t even believe in any god yet I pray for your safety every time you leave.”
He reached across the space between your bodies on the couch that night and squeezed your thigh.
“I’ll give you something to believe in.”
That night he buried his face between your thighs and ate you out like a man worshiping at the altar on the cold floor in front of your TV.
Tonight, you’re more than okay with that.
Seonghwa’s body is like a furnace when you wrap yourself around him. He’s warm and comfortable in the most familiar of ways, and you can still taste him on the inside of your lips. You smile despite yourself, clinging to him harder as the motorcycle lurches into action. Seonghwa never wastes time, though there’s an added layer of danger tonight with curfew, but you have it in good faith that the whole notion is just a little scare tactic to keep people in line. Even months ago there were no patrols or active guardians wandering the streets at night. Whatever drones do monitor from the sky don’t do anything except spook citizens.
In retrospect, you should have stolen Seonghwa’s jacket off his back or brought your own because the night air whips your shirt and leaves you cold. The man in front of you isn’t much of a meat shield against it either, yet the combination of your shivering and the ever-increasing speed of the bike makes adrenaline drop in your gut. You could chase this feeling for the rest of your life but still not be able to capture it unless it’s with Seonghwa, and as much as you hate to admit that sort of dependency, you also revel in the knowledge that he only gets it from you as well. Maybe you’re more religious than you thought with the exchanged reverence and devotion you two hold for one another. A sort of sacrality permeates every touch and breath between your lips. It reaches you in full when Seonghwa pulls the bike to a stop at what must be his chosen destination. He eases your helmet off first before ridding himself of his own. The moment his lips are within reach, you find them with your fingers and trace over the soft skin there like he himself is holy text to be studied and recited.
“Come,” he says with a hand stretched out towards you. Like a sheep following its shepherd, you sling your leg over the bike and come to stand beside him. He’s brought you to a hill, just beyond the outskirts of the city, but the spot where it overlooks showcases something as fascinating as it is beautiful. Beyond the fences surrounding Night City, there is a clearing of simple dirt yet it’s full of light and life. Crowds upon crowds of people occupy the space, though they look more like ants from where you’re perched, yet even in the distance you can see how they move about. Dancing. “That’s one of the only spots the people in this hellhole can still be free.”
“Are…” You clear your throat and glance at your companion briefly. “Is that where your coworkers are?”
“There are others, yes. Many of them. Our bike crew likes to show off some nights and do tricks around the lot when we know the government is gonna be busy with other problems. But for the most part, people go there to listen to music and dance and sing… to enjoy the things every rich prick is trying to take away from us.” Seonghwa sighs. He brings a hand to his hair and runs his fingers through the strands to the point of disarray. “It’s not an excuse, but this is why I’ve been away from you for so many weeks. Trying to get some solid plans in motion and all that. You knowing too much would just put you at risk, and that simply wouldn’t do, princess. I need you safe and sound. I can’t be the reason you get hurt or suffer, especially not at their hands.”
“But… you hurt me.”
“I thought it would be easier to disappear entirely than to come up with some lie as to why I couldn’t come around anymore.” He draws his arms up in a rather clear act of defensiveness but he turns to face you directly as he relays the information. “And I knew that the second I showed up at your door with a lie figured out, I wouldn’t be able to go through with it. I guess everyone has a point in saying you’re my soft spot.”
One corner of your lips pulls up to form a crude smile, laugh exhaling out your nose in a rush of air. You reach for Seonghwa’s wrists.
“Cm’here.”
“What?” he complies nonetheless, matching your grin as you pull his arms away from his chest. His hands move around your body to tug you into his personal space like it’s just an extension of simple human movements, and you match the gentle affection with your own soft touches across his chest. Tracing upwards, you seek his jacket and secure your hands around the collar.
“Don’t lie and don’t hide from me again. If you can’t tell me, that’s fine. I’m okay with that. We can play house and do whatever when we’re together, then when the revolution comes knocking, we’ll deal with that too.” This is as close to I love you as you can go.
“Okay, princess. That’s a deal I’m gonna hold you to though.” Seonghwa leans against your body, and you let his weight sink down onto you with a quiet sigh. The lingering pass of silence lets you indulge in the feeling of him as he exhales heavily down your neck. He drifts lower until his lips ghost over the juncture of your neck, and the pressure in your chest increases tenfold with each feathering touch. When his teeth drag across your skin, you gasp out loud. Goosebumps rush across your body, a moan pulls from your lips, and Seonghwa sucks at your neck like he wants to pull the blood right out of you.
“H-Hwa.”
“Want you,” he murmurs. You have other things on your mind right now, however, and you doubt he’s going to be opposed to your suggestions so you tug yourself away from his wandering hands and tighten your grip on his jacket. His body is lax as you pull him around and lean him against the seat of his motorcycle. “Princess…” Seonghwa already looks to be in a daze when you sink to your knees between his legs, hands sliding across the firm muscles of his legs that are hidden beneath faux leather. His lips part in silent wonder, and his gaze follows yours with such intense focus that it feels like you’re the only two people on earth. You watch his mouth move but no noise comes out, no words, and whatever thoughts he’s having right now are lost on you because you can’t read his lips. It doesn’t deter you from your current goal — you have his zipper caught between your fingers already, and his button comes undone just as easily.
His shame knows no bounds, apparently, because you peel back his pants to bare skin with nothing between.
“You been thinking about me all day?” you tease, teeth toying with your lower lip as you flutter your lashes at him on purpose, but he sweeps you away with his hasty and breathless response.
“All day. All week. Every day since the last time I saw you.” A hopeless romantic, after all. You work his pants down his hips just enough to pull his half-hard length out, putting your lips around him without wasting any more time than you have to. Seonghwa moans from the first touch as your wet heat surrounds his cock and buries all the way in your throat. You take him in until he nudges the back of your throat and threatens to make you choke. Similar to how he laid between your legs and worshiped at your alter, you do the same now — on your knees for him with hands clasped around the base of his cock, you blink up at his strained face with glistening eyes and a prayer on your lips.
Seonghwa brings a shaky hand to the back of your head, but he finds his confidence the moment he grabs hold of your hair and guides your mouth to take his dick deeper. His tip pushes into your throat, and you’re quick to adjust your breathing, focus snapping away from his face so that you can steady your breath and bring air into your lungs. Wetness touches your lashes as your eyes fall closed. You tap his crotch twice, and he understands the signal immediately. It’s hard to believe two months have passed when you fall back into usual and familiar routines with such ease. Seonghwa tightens his hold on your hair, burying his fingers closer to your scalp, and air whistles through his teeth. He pulls out of your mouth suddenly, until the head of his cock lays heavy against your lips. You missed the taste of him desperately, even more so in this filthy and hedonistic way, but that realization quickly turns into an afterthought as you suck at his tip.
“Fuck, doll, missed using you like this,” Seonghwa groans above you, and you respond by swiping your tongue along the bit of his cock that he lets you touch. “You always let me fill your pretty little mouth so well. Could use you like a toy forever, fuck.”
“Then do it.” You grin against his cock head, chin tilting down so that you can press a kiss to the same spot. The noise that tears from Seonghwa is close to animalistic as he jerks his hips towards your mouth. You’re forced to drop your jaw as quickly as you can but it doesn’t fully keep your teeth from snagging at his skin, though that seems to do nothing but drive Seonghwa further into insanity as he thrusts hard into your mouth.
“Shit, my little doll, look at you.” You force your eyes open against better judgment just to look at Seonghwa’s face. He coos, free hand reaching around to cup your face, and he swipes his thumb over the apple of your cheek. “Such a messy doll you are, tears and spit all over that pretty face.” You gag, only for it to turn into a sob as he fucks your mouth like it's just another hole to use. “I’ll grant you your veneration, princess, if only you give me my absolution.” He still treats you as though you’re something holy after all this time too, it seems. His balls knock against your chin with each one of his thrusts, until you grow totally accustomed to the rhythm. You had been certain that he would stop before coming undone, but Seonghwa doesn’t seem keen on stopping any time soon with the way he’s enjoying your mouth, wet and warm around his dick. You want to drive him to completion now — the cotton fuzz in your brain that’s starting to block all thoughts outside of him and your arousal demands more, and you crave the feeling of his cock twitching on your tongue. You wish to taste his seed on the back of your tongue, to watch his legs tremble and buckle under his pleasure at your hands.
You hum around the weight on your tongue, and Seonghwa lets his hand go loose on your hair, swinging it back to catch on the seat of his bike so he can steady himself better. He hands over control to you in the same moment and gives you the blessed initiative that makes you splay your hands across his hips and brace yourself over his length as you take some time to catch your breath. It makes you acutely aware of your wrecked state too because you can feel the moisture all over your face, both from tears and the trails of saliva that Seonghwa caused. He leans back and pushes the bike further against its side-stand; not to the point of immediate concern but he is testing that sturdiness as he claimed he wished to earlier. You lick along the underside of Seonghwa’s cock, relishing in the way he twitches against your tongue.
“Are you close?” you ask. You aren’t expecting how horribly wrecked your voice is or how it sounds like you’ve chewed and tried to swallow gravel actually. Seonghwa makes no comment on it himself and instead just nods several times over as he gulps down greedy breaths of air. “Do you wanna cum in my mouth?”
“Jesus, princess, how can you just — say that with a straight face like that, christ.” Seonghwa brushes hair away from your forehead, pulling it back to be out of the way.
“You can keep going, right?” Your fingers curl around the base of his dick just to squeeze him a little bit to tease and stimulate him some more. “You’ll still be able to fuck me if you cum once, won’t you?”
“Baby—”
“Or can you still not finish without breeding me?” Seonghwa’s whole body reacts to your statement, and you hear the audible choke that overtakes him when you flatten your palm on his cock and press it against his stomach. His fingers extend while trembling then he draws them back into fists so tight his knuckles bleed white. You drive the heel of your hand further into his length, coming up halfway to let your fingers curl up over his tip. Taking precum onto your fingertips, you pull the same digits into your mouth and lick them clean, eyes glinting as you watch Seonghwa’s lips part in either want or wonder.
His mouth stays agape even after you stand up and press your body firmly on his. Your nipples clearly show through your top, bra forgone in your rush to get dressed when you saw him, and Seonghwa lets his hands wander up to pinch at them through the thin cotton.
“I take that as a no,” you whisper close to his mouth, letting your breath huff out across his lips. He moves against you with more force now and takes your lips with his own. You’re distracted despite the kiss on account of your hands being busy with your pants and unable to maintain contact without having to pull away to separate your shoes and pants from your body entirely. Seonghwa wraps an arm around your waist to bring you back to him, already attaching himself to your neck and nipping at the mark he left not long ago. “H-How?”
“Ride me—” he twists at the waist “—on the bike.” You’re taken aback by the request, but it also shouldn’t come as much of a surprise given the long list of delightful positions Seonghwa’s taken you in previously. Still, when he pats the back of the seat and slings his own leg over the body, you can’t help but wonder how you’re going to manage this at all. Over the back of the bike? Sure, you’ve done that many times. He’s bent you over the handles several times too, but never like this — with his back to the handlebars and you crawling up to his lap in what feels like a rather precarious position. “I’ve got you, kitten, come on.” Securing a hand on his shoulder, you let Seonghwa hoist you up over his spread legs, fingernails digging into your ass as he brings you down to his lap. You reach down to grab hold of his cock and guide him to your pussy. Normally, you’d love to have some sort of prep, especially with his dick and its size, but that’s far from your concern right now. You’ll regret it tomorrow when you’re sore and aching; by then, you’ll have him in your bed, looking after you and taking care of you, and you can make that his problem to sort out. Right now, you want him inside you and filling you up with a burn and a sting to remember him by.
Seonghwa takes great care to ease you down his length, hands holding you steady and firm. You hiss at the stretch of your walls around him.
“Feet on the rests, kitten, I’ve got you.” You hear the words and react accordingly, but your mind is elsewhere — focused on relaxing as best you can to accommodate his size. When he bottoms out at last, you lean your forehead against his, and he drags his hands up from your ass to massage along your lower back. “Don’t hold onto me, okay? Grab the handlebars.” Your firm glare is hard to miss, especially with your proximity to one another, but it just makes Seonghwa laugh into your cheek. “I’ll keep the bike steady no problem. Gotta put my long legs to use somehow, right?”
“Can’t believe you’re making me do all the work when you were the asshat who disappeared for two months!”
“It’s not too late for me to fuck you face first into the ground, doll, if that’s what you’re wanting,” Seonghwa purrs against the corner of your lips, and you reply with a cheeky kiss that involves you biting the tip of his tongue gently when he tries to explore your mouth.
“Don’t get too excited, baby. It’s my treat tonight.” You feel him twitch inside you as you reach around his body to grab for the handlebars, and the motion forces you to pull up from his cock a bit. He’s watching you with rapt focus, the same unholy expression as before paints his features again now, and it’s borderline intoxicating to see him unravel as you drop back down on his length. The noises of passion between you are reduced to exchanged moans and heavy breaths. For a man who always has something dirty to say, if only to rile you up further, he’s fallen to a mess of stuttered groans and pants that make you bounce on his cock faster and faster.
“Do I feel as — as good as y-you remember?” you ask through the sounds of skin slapping skin. Seonghwa’s whole face contorts and he throws his head back, unable to keep his hands to himself any longer. He scrambles to grab at your waist.
“Even better, s-so much fucking better.”
You tilt your chin towards the sky and laugh through a choppy moan. It’s then that Seonghwa catches you off guard: he eases you back along the seat of the motorcycle, forcing your hands to release the handles and laying you along the length of the seat. It’s not quite long enough to accommodate the position he’s going for, but you understand better when he pulls you down to meet his cock. He doesn’t wait for you to adjust further, driving his cock into you with a rabid passion that fills your stomach with fire and desire. Your dangling feet move to brace against the handlebar, and you plant them firmly against the flat of your foot just as Seonghwa pulls you down some more. Either you can’t control your noises as well like this or he’s simply fucking you better than ever because every thrust knocks a whiny moan out of you. There’s nothing for you to grab onto like this either — not above or around your head at least — so you have to settle for reaching down between your legs and bracing your hands on Seonghwa’s forearms.
“D-Dear fucking god, Hwa,” you whine.
“Touch yourself, touch yourself now, doll, I’m gonna cum soon.” You think you’re just as close yourself, to the point where a minute touch might make you cum embarrassingly quick, but you do as told, moving one of your hands down to roll firm circles around your clit in time with his thrusts. You don’t really have to move at all because his movements are doing the work for you. So when the climbing sensation of an impending orgasm starts to overwhelm you, you bring your fingers to a halt and let them press into your clit instead, where Seonghwa’s thrusts can jerk your hand against yourself in a crude form of masturbation.
“P-Please hurry, cum quick please, I’m about to—” your thoughts come to a grinding halt. Your mind goes blank, turning to an empty canvas, then the pleasure explodes and the orgasm shakes your entire body. Your toes curl around the handles in the same way that your back curls away from the seat.
“Inside? Do you want me to cum inside or — fuck, not? In or out?” Seonghwa’s voice is wound so tight that it sounds painful to the ears. You fist the sleeve of his jacket.
“Breed me? In, in, in, please breed me, Hwa.” He doesn’t need more instruction than that. A groan rips through him in time with his finish, and the sensation of his cock releasing hot spurts of cum makes you shiver. He leans back, your legs fall away from the handles, and the afterglow of your sex feels warm and heady. Hands are on your bare thighs, fingers rub deep into your muscles and work against the lingering tremble in them, and the air turns into a song of both your breathing. The whole atmosphere around you two feels sacred once more. You don’t want a single thing to disturb this carefully found peace, not even for a second. Folding your fingers around Seonghwa’s wrist, you use him as leverage to pull yourself up to a sitting position across from him.
All it takes is one quick beckoning motion for him to fall against your lips, granting you the kiss you’re after and securing you in his hold at the same time.
Seonghwa rights himself but keeps a hand firm on your hip as he climbs off the bike, only letting his touch fall away once he’s certain you’re steady and safe on your perch. You watch him tuck his softened dick back into his pants without exchanging words. You’re dazed yet exceptionally and thoroughly satisfied, and that feeling persists for some time. You don’t opt to speak until Seonghwa is bent over and grabbing your pants from the ground.
“Will you stay with me when we get back home?”
Seonghwa jerks his head in your direction. His dark eyes are wide, and you can see the contemplation cross his features even in the low light.
“Yeah, I think I will this time.”
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